Vol 124 Issue 11

@XAVERIANWEEKLY

ANALYZING ACRONYMS SINCE 1895

VOLUME 124 ISSUE 11 FEB 4 2016

COMING OUT PAGE 10

NEWS

schedule of events page 4

OPINIONS

same sex with an x page 6

CULTURE wtf is lgbtq page 12

SPORTS & HEALTH intersquad dating page 14

news 2

thursday february fourth, 2016

THE xaverian Feb 4 2016 Vol 124: Issue 11

OUR STAFF EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Julia O’Hanley xw.eic@stfx.ca MANAGING EDITOR Ryan Finn xw.managing@stfx.ca ART IST IC COORDINATOR Devon Chisholm xw.artistic@stfx.ca COPY EDITOR Molly Schreiber xw.copy@stfx.ca NEWS EDITOR Izaak MacMullin xw.news@stfx.ca OPINIONS EDITOR Emily Keenan xw.opinions@stfx.ca FEATURES EDITOR Paige Chisholm xw.feature@stfx.ca ARTS&CULTURE EDITOR Rachel LeBlanc xw.culture@stfx.ca DIST RACT IONS EDITOR Ty Kingston xw.distractions@stfx.ca SPORTS&HEALT H EDITOR Shelbi Kilcollins xw.sports@stfx.ca SENIOR REPORT ER Lauren Agnew xw.reporter1@stfx.ca SENIOR REPORT ER Sebastian Jurga x2014hbq@stfx.ca STAFF WRIT ER Alejandra Torres x2015lqa@stfx.ca STAFF WRIT ER Jane Stevenson x2013gcp@stfx.ca COLUMNIST Lindsay Johnstone xw.columnist1@stfx.ca COLUMNIST Caitlin Vance xw.columnist2@stfx.ca DIST RIBUT IONS MANAGER Alyssa MacNeil xw.distributions@stfx.ca xw.eic@stfx.ca for general inquiries xw.managing@stfx.ca The Xaverian Weekly is the official student newspaper of St Francis Xavier University. The Xaverian Weekly is published on Thursdays by the Xaverian Weekly Publications Board and is editorially autonomous.

The Xaverian Weekly is a proud member of the Canadian University Press, North America’s largest cooperative of student newspapers.

FREE Media is the Xaverian Weekly’s national advertising agency. submissions

The Xaverian Weekly welcomes submissions of articles, letters, photos, and graphics.

Submissions must be received by Friday 5 pm the week prior to publication. Submissions should be sent to xw.eic@stfx.ca or to the

relevant section editor.

The editor-in-chief and the section editors reserve the right to refuse to print submitted material and to edit submissions for length and/or style. The Xaverian Weekly will not print material that is racist, misogynistic, sexist, homophobic, or libellous. opinions

Opinions expressed in the Xaverian Weekly are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the Xaverian Weekly or the Xaverian Weekly Publications Board. copyright

All materials appearing in the Xaverian Weekly are copyright their creator(s) and may not be used without permission.

CONTACT US Twitter: @xaverianweekly Facebook: The Xaverian Weekly www.xaverian.ca FIND US Room 111D, Bloomfield Centre PO Box 294 StFX University Antigonish NS, B2G 2W5

EDITOR: IZAAK MACMULLIN xw.news@stfx.ca

Open contributor meetings are held Sundays at six in the newsroom: bottom floor SUB, left from the bookstore. X

Positively proud How positive space training makes a difference LAUREN AGNEW Senior Reporter Thanks to many years of activism and the major legislative progress that has been made, the LGBT+ community has slowly become part of mainstream society. However, advocates remain concerned about about the level of homophobia and transphobia still present in our society.

This is why, in 2004, the Alliance for Sexual Diversity Student Society at St.FX launched the first Positive Space Program in Antigonish.

According to its official materials, the program was initially implemented “in an effort to recognize and acknowledge LGBT+ lives in rural communities in particular, and to encourage rural communities to celebrate the differences within their midst.” It also hopes to “create a space where positive interaction can occur.”

X-Pride President Kalyn MacAskill says that StFX is proud to offer Positive Space Training to anyone and everyone that wants it. It is a two-level certification which can be completed one at a time, or together over the course of one longer session.

After completing both Level 1 and Level 2 training, students,

faculty, staff, and community members are asked if they want to commit themselves to being an LGBT+ ally. Kalyn says, “For me, Positive Space is a workshop based program…designed to teach people about the LGBT+ community…terminology, what does the community look like, the oppression that they face, and the impacts that it has on their everyday life.”

The training takes place over the course of two 1.5hour sessions. Items on the agenda include discussions about the use of oppressive language, understanding LGBT+ vocabulary and important terms, statistics, and what an ally is. Active roleplaying scenarios supplement these topics, as participants learn how to have “anti-discrimination responses” to critical situations. It is believed that “through acting it out, you are more likely to use it when the situation arises and will be more comfortable with the tools given,” Kalyn explains. The hope is that leaders in the community will be inspired to create safe and inclusive spaces in all areas of everyday life. Kalyn believes the program “gives you the exact tools to interrupt heteronormativity, homophobia, and transphobia.”

Kalyn encourages people from all backgrounds to attend Positive Space Training, stating, “You may think that you’re already inclusive to the LGBT+ community, and you may think that you know a lot, but these can really open some eyes for understanding the oppression. I encourage absolutely everyone and anyone to attend; it’s just a really good space to learn.”

The training will help to achieve a common understanding from all parties while being contained in a safe environment. Upon attending the sessions, participants agree to respect other’s decisions, opinions, and experiences while maintaining the confidentiality of the group. One group who has benefitted from this training is the pre-service teachers in the Education program.

These students are also offered Positive Space Training Level 3, a level that was developed within the department as an optional resource tool to link classroom curriculum with LGBT+-inclusive material.

StFX is currently trying to emphasize the benefits of an inclusive community; all RA’s are required to have at least Level 1 training, all education students are required to have

Photo: StFX LGBTQ Advising

training, and many professors have also received training.

In addition, a rainbow triangle sticker on a doorway, like in many professors’ offices, indicates a safe space. After completing Level 2 training, participants are asked whether they would like to be an LGBT+ ally. As Kalyn explains, “It is a big commitment. You are committing yourself to interrupting heteronormativity and stepping in when you see homophobic or transphobic situations happening. So you actually have to sign a contract and commit yourself; we don’t just give away the stickers to anyone. You only get them after you consciously decide that you want to be an ally and that you’re willing to take on creating a safe space for people.” Seeing someone with a rainbow sticker or ally pin indicates a safe space where you will be supported, and the person will have resources to guide you towards the answer to your questions.

If you would like to attend Positive Space Training, it is being offered by X-Pride on Feb 6, however you must RSVP by Feb 5. You receive a certificate for attending and you have the opportunity to choose to become an ally for LGBT+ communities.

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Underfunded advisor?

LGBTQ advisor Chris Frazer receives no compensation for his work IZAAK MACMULLIN News Editor The student advisors at StFX are an important part of the support offered by the university, particularly for students from disadvantaged or minority groups. However, not all of these positions are full time, or even paid. This is the case for Chris Frazer, a history professor who also serves as the StFX LGBTQ advisor.

When asked what his position entails, Frazer explains, “I’m available for any LGBTQ student at StFX, but it primarily means working with X Pride. Its a pretty wide ranging role to play because the mandate I was given was to act as an advocate as well as to do organizational training and mediate between students and the administration…In general I do a lot of training of incoming X Pride executives so that they know what they need to do, help them navigate the bureaucracies both at the ad-

ministrative and the Students’ Union level, and help them to organize events through the year.”

At the time the Xaverian spoke to Frazer, he was manning a booth selling tickets for the drag show Priscilla, Queen of the Highlands, an event that raises money for the X Pride society.

The role ends up being pretty time consuming. According to Frazer, “Most years I’m probably putting in maybe 15 to 20 hours a week, on top of my regular teaching, so it gets very busy.”

Frazer performs this role without any form of compensation, neither monetary or in the form of course release.

This is despite the fact that the advisors for black, aboriginal, and international students are paid positions (although not all are full time), instead of faculty performing another role. However, until recently, the black student advisor was also an unpaid professor. As Frazer says, “A while ago, maybe

four or five years ago I guess now, there was finally a decision made to hire an advisor for black students. That was, let me tell you, quite a struggle at the time.”

Frazer feels that the biggest issue is not that the position isn’t paid, but that there are not enough funds made available by the university to facilitate programming and opportunities for LGBTQ students. “The biggest issue is that the support for advisor’s programming remains inadequate.

Most years I would get $500 a year for my programming.

The last couple years I have gotten $1000, and I don’t even know what my budget will be for next year. I’ve always made due with a shoestring budget, pulling rabbits out of a hat. The show, Priscilla, Queen of the Highlands, is an example, when you break down the costs of putting on a show like this, which we raise money from [...] If I get $1000 for my budget this year, that’s about

half the cost of the show alone. I can’t even afford to bring in speakers, I can’t afford to do any kind of an educational program; I get people to volunteer their time, and I make it up as I go.”

He says that in the past, funding was not at all certain. “There have been a couple years where I didn’t get any money at all. One year in particular the X Pride students had to circulate a petition, and confront the administration. The [X Pride] president at the time, Judy Hines, I remember she walked right into Dr. Riley’s office unannounced with the petition and said, ‘This is bullshit, we need to solve this problem.’”

In order to illustrate what makes his position so important, Frazer pointed to what the atmosphere at StFX was like when he arrived in 2004.

“When I got here, one of the reasons this position was created was that that year there had been a student who was gay-bashed so badly he

was put into the hospital.

And then just a few months later, someone else, not a student but a resident, was jumped by a couple of students and also hospitalized.

So, violence was a reality for LGBTQ students, a common thing. The fact is, at that time StFX had a reputation for being a really homophobic place. When I remember taking the job here, I had friends telling me I was crazy for coming here, because it was not an inclusive place at all.”

Despite his frustrations about a lack of support for his position, Frazer is sure to emphasize how much enjoyment he gets from his work.

“Doing this, in spite of the obstacles, has probably been the most rewarding experience of my career here at StFX. I love it. And X Pride is a kickass group; they’ve always been wonderful.”

The Xaverian reached out to university administration for comment. At the time we went to press we had not yet heard back.

Inclusive Washrooms Initiative IZAAK MACMULLIN News Editor Going to the washroom is such a routine and unglamorous part of life most people don’t spend much time thinking about these facilities and simply take them for granted. The Student Union Equity Officer at StFX, Hayley McOstrich, wants to change that. She hopes to turn a spotlight on the people who can’t use the washrooms at StFX comfortably, or can’t access them at all. This is why she started the Washroom Inclusivity Project.

According to McOstrich, “the project is an ongoing campaign that will map washrooms, and asses their inclusivity to various members of our community and it will look critically at spaces, such as how accessible they are, are they gender neutral, or do they make people chose between a gender binary they don’t identify with.”

McOstrich also hopes to asses how accessible the washrooms on campus are to people with disabilities, or single parents who might need baby changing stations.

Her initial goal is to record the specific types of accessibility offered by all the washrooms on campus, in order to make this information easier to access for people who struggle to find a washroom that meets their needs. As McOstrich explains, “we are trying to do a map. At this point we are not really sure if its going to be a digital map, that

is our hope, but we would have to come across some money first.

Hopefully, it could be like an app, were you can type in ‘I’m here.

I need a single user gender-free washroom, that is wheelchair accessible’…And it (the app) will show you on campus where we have that.”

The app is the first step, a goal that McOstrich hopes to complete this year. As of right now,

there are no bathroom renovations being planed. “So that doesn’t include, at this point, any physical changes.”

McOstrich hopes to get a large amount of students involved in her initiative, and generate a discussion about accessible spaces for all members of the the StFX community. As she says, “The entire process will be an educational thing. I’m getting student

to be surveyors, so I’m looking for volunteers currently who will come to a training day on March 1st and learn how to do it….the plan is that we are all gonna go survey at the same time, wearing matching T-shirts and creating a buzz, totally making a big scene.

People will be like, ‘who are these people walking around, doing all these weird things in the washroom.’ There will be

people at booths spreading the word, this is what we are doing, and we are hoping to make a video. So I’m thinking the process of collecting the information and making the map is going to be an educational experience.”

McOstrich does feel that when major renovations or new buildings happen again on campus, gender free bathrooms will be a necessary part of the discussion. “With gendered washrooms, there is a lot of debate about how to move forward, because it is so new. How do you label the gender free or gender neutral washrooms? How do you go about that? Do make it all single stalls down to the floor, or do you make it single user? There lots of different ways people have been doing it, and there is a lot of debate around it, and i think a lot of this debate speaks to larger gender implications. There is a very valid concern from some people that they might not feel safe in a gender free washroom…

I do think at the same time that we need to think more critically about that and what does it say about our gender roles, or heteronormativity. Like, ‘Oh, boys and girls cannot be in the same washroom at a bar, that would promote sexual violence.’…I just think people need to stretch themselves and think critically about why they feel that way.”

Any students interested in taking part in the Washroom Inclusivity Project can email Hayley McOstrich at su_equity@ stfx.ca.

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thursday february fourth, 2016

LGBTQ+ year in review A look at the historically significant events of 2015 SEBASTIAN JURGA Senior Reporter Each year brings a new set of struggles and victories for any minority group seeking equality in modern society. The lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, and other community is no different, and progress relating to this segment of society has increasingly come to the forefront of political debate and social change.

2015 has been a huge year for the members of the LGBT+ community, with swings in opinion towards gay and lesbian marriage all over the world becoming more apparent, as well as change in the treatment of people of who identify as transgender. Debates over LGBT+ issues took centre stage in both in the Western World and in developing nations on issues as varied as marriage rights to state persecution. Here is a retrospective look at the setbacks and victories for the LBGT+ community in 2015.

Starting off with the positive side of things, there was a major expansion in the legalization of same sex marriage, and other such supporting laws in 2015. In May, Ireland approved an amendment to their constitution - through a referendum that resulted in a 62% majority for the “yes” side - legalizing same sex marriage. Following suit from Ireland’s example, a week later Denmark’s

registered partnership law was extended to Greenland as well, legalizing gay marriage there. In June, the Supreme Court of the United States of America ruled, to major controversy, that refusing to grant marriage licences to same sex couples was unconstitutional, allowing for full legalization of gay marriage across the country. This move was arguably the biggest

gain in rights for LGBT+ people in 2015. The US also appointed a special LGBT+ envoy, Randy Berry, whose job is to advance same sex and trans rights around the world.

Countries such as Nepal, Ukraine, Austria, Mozambique, Thailand, Portugal, and Argentina all put in place laws that further the rights of LGBT+ people in some way. Examples include decriminalization Photo: The New York Times

in Mozambique’s case, protection from discrimination in the case of Ukraine, and the lifting on bans on gay men being able to donate blood in France. In the celebrity world, former American Olympic athlete and reality star Bruce Jenner came out as trans in April, and switched to her new name Caitlyn, also winning the ESPN award for courage.

Though the year saw its fair share of positive events for the community, there were also instances of brutal discrimination and violence. The so-called Islamic State, or ISIS, continues to display aggression towards all minority groups, including LGBT+ individuals, and publicly executed large numbers of gay men over the past year. In May, just as gains were being made in Greenland and Ireland, Gambian President Yahya Jammeh continued his prosecution of the gay population of the country, threatening to “slit the throats” of those practicing homosexual acts, and continuing the arrests and imprisonment of those caught doing so. In Egypt, a crackdown on LGBT+ people is also underway, and got significantly worse over the course of 2015 as President Abdel Fattah el-Sisi, who was the leader of a coup and came to power in 2014, sought to solidify his political power through the arrest and prosecution of LGBT+ people. A vicious stabbing spree at the Jerusalem Pride Parade also shocked the country and made world headlines.

2015 has certainly been an eventful year, and progress was made on LGBT+ rights in a way that many thought impossible only a few years ago. Despite all this change, it is very likely that LGBT+ issues will continue to drive discussion and debate in 2016

opinions

5 EDITOR: EMILY KEENAN xw.opinions@stfx.ca

Institutionalized discrimination?

Canadian Blood Services policy unfair to gay men

SEBASTIAN JURGA Senior Reporter In 2016, we like to think of society as having neared its goal of equal rights for all. Certainly, it’s a comforting thought to think that we walk down the street and see acceptance and compassion toward racial or ethnical minorities rather than hatred or aggression. Indeed, this is only a recent change in human interaction, and it’s hard to think that calling a person a racial slur was socially acceptable just forty years ago.

But how much have we really eliminated bigotry in our society? It’s obviously not completely gone, as groups such as the Westboro Baptist Church and the KKK still exist and preach their hate-filled slogans across their countries and the world. They tarnish our society with division as well as impractical and unsustainable worldviews. Regardless, you would not expect a government-sanctioned organisation to promote inequality in any way shape or form.

That being said, you can find examples of bigotry anywhere if you take the time to look for it.

Take the Canadian Blood Services for example: an organisation run in part by the Canadian Red Cross Society and Health Canada and an absolutely crucial component of modern medicine and our health care system. However, they still practice an extremely controversial, and some would say outdated law.

This law, which only affects

those who identify as LGBT+ more specifically, gay men - is referred to as the MSM Policy.

What does MSM stand for? Men who have sex with men. This policy, which was put in place in 1992, created a lifelong ban on “men who have sex with men” who want to donate blood.

Many of you may be surprised to hear about this policy, and rightly so. More will question why it even exists. I know I certainly thought it was… extreme, to say the least. In this day and age, when different sexualities are so common it was no surprise when they changed the policy in 2013, lifting the lifelong ban.

Except it didn’t actually change too much. The policy changed to a simple five-year deferral period, during which a gay man must be celibate, for if he is not, he does not qualify to donate blood.

Now if you ask me, asking a community of individuals to abstain for five years just to donate blood seems a little delusional. It seems to me that Health Canada realised how segregating the law was, but instead of just lifting the ban, they simply reduced it to five years to appease those who would call the policy prejudiced.

My question is, what’s the difference? No one would abstain from sex for five years just to donate blood, so they are still effectively excluding that demographic of the population from their right to donate. I don’t want to say this is dis-

crimination, but some would label it as such.

So what exactly are they scared of? What is their reason for this outrageous policy? If you visit their webpage, www. blood.ca, and navigate to the section ruefully hidden in their ABC’s of Eligibility, under the 28th branch, titled HIV, about their MSM Policy, you will find a colorful range of explanations for the policy. The main reason of course, is the Human Immunodeficiency Virus, the retrovirus which causes AIDS. I found a few things to be peculiar about their explanation.

First of all, the criteria was introduced in 1992, even though AIDS started to really become a problem in developed countries in 1977. That’s a fifteen-year gap between when the problem was discovered and when it was acted upon.

Interestingly enough, the ability to actually test for the virus emerged in the mid-80’s and was refined in 2001 with the creation of NAT testing, which lowered the effective time the virus can be detected to only nine days after contraction.

This means there was actually a solution available other than banning homosexuals from donating. The obvious solution is to simply test donated blood for HIV, which is already a policy for blood gathered at these centres and is the reason straight individuals - and really everyone else who is not a gay male - have no problem donating blood. Perhaps before 2001, the reason for the ban could

simply be for the lifetime of a unit of blood – roughly 43 days.

If it takes longer than that to detect HIV, or even long enough to make gathering the blood not worth it, then fine. That could be an acceptable reason for the ban.

However, with the introduction of NAT testing, there is simply no reason why the ban should not be lowered to at least 14 days, as after that it would be evident whether the blood is contaminated or not.

In fact, why have the ban at all? Consider that while AIDS and HIV may have first originated in the gay male population, it certainly did not stay there. And while yes, you are statistically more likely to contract HIV if you are a gay male, heterosexual individuals still make up roughly one third of individuals diagnosed with the virus, not counting intravenous drug users.

It’s not only the homosexual male population that gets infected. So this means that all

donated blood must be tested for HIV, not to mention other nasty pathogens, before it can be administered safely to patients. So it really raises the question - if men who have sex with men must abstain, why not men who have sex with women? Or all men and women who have unprotected sex in general? Or why not just make a deferral period of five years for everyone?

Obviously, that’s not realistic, as no one would ever donate blood. Nonetheless, modern testing should allow us to at least lower the deferral period, and drastically. When considering that the UK and Australia have deferral periods of one year only, it’s not an extreme prospect to lower it again. Indeed, the Canadian Blood Services has noted that a proposal to lower the period to one year will be made in 2016. So maybe this is how it will have to be, and as with any battle for equality, it’s the little steps forward that count.

Photo: blood.ca

the rainbow flag: should stfx fly it all the time?

ADRIENNE RATUSHNIAK Contributor The rainbow flag was first designed in 1978 by San Francisco artist Gilbert Baker.

Originally, it had eight colours, but by 1979, hot pink and turquoise were removed and royal blue replaced indigo to create a new flag that prevails to this day.

After the assassination of Harvey Milk in 1978, the rainbow flag became a symbol of solidarity for the LGBT+ community. It is now an internationally recognized symbol for LGBT+ pride and people. The colours of both flag versions all have specific meaning.

Currently, the Pride flag is raised every February during Pride Week at StFX. But why do we not have the flag raised all year round? Logistically

speaking, it should not be a big issue to get another flag pole on campus, so as not to take away another flag’s permanent spot. I don’t know what the expense would be, but it cannot be greater than the benefits it would provide for the LGBT+ community on and off campus.

As the saying goes, “By celebrating our pride together, we remember our past, affirm our future and provide important visibility which advances our struggle for equality.” Visibility plays a key role in decreasing the “otherness” of the LGBT+ community by increasing awareness and creating representation.

Flying the Pride flag for more than one week of the whole year would be one small step towards reducing the rampant heteronormativity on

this campus. Representation helps to demonstrate solidarity and inclusivity. Having the flag as a constant presence at StFX will show students, faculty, staff, community members, and visitors alike that bigotry such as homophobia and transphobia have no place at this school. No one should ever have to be afraid or uncomfortable being themselves.

The rainbow flag is a universal symbol, and unlike other flags, it transcends any division of culture, language, or nationality. The flag is not an attempt to shove pride in anyone’s face but rather simply shows that “we’re here and we’re queer”.

It is important to always remember that, in the words of LZ Granderson, “Gay Pride was not born of a need to celebrate being gay, but our right

Photo: freerepublic.com to exist without persecution.”

As far as I can tell, the University of Regina is the only university in Canada to have a permanent flag, which went up just last year in 2015.

By finding a permanent home for the flag on campus,

StFX could become a forerunner for this movement and an important role model for other universities to imitate. This would help normalize the LGBT+ community, and thus hopefully reduce the stigma and discrimination.

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thursday february fourth, 2016

Sex with an x returns: a guide to same-sex sex

Male/male: how to properly love your prostate RYLEY ERICKSON Contributor You and your boyfriend have spent two loving years together and have finally decided to try taking the backdoor. You and your girlfriend are looking for ways to spice up your sex lives and want to try something new, or you and your hookup have spent two loving hours at the pub together and are heading home to “get it on”, as the kids say nowadays. This guide will help the average man - or woman; while women don’t have a prostate, some still find it quite pleasurable - get ready for a night of prostate loving - AKA anal for anyone who doesn’t quite understand yet.

1. Preparation This is the hardest part of anal sex. Making sure that you eat a high fibre diet and don’t eat anything for 4-5 hours before participating is critical to avoiding messes. At the end of the night you basically have two

choices: go for Kenny’s, or get laid. Trying to do both doesn’t always end well, and I find that it is better to be safe than sorry.

2. Cleanliness If you’re eating a high fibre diet, your colon should clean itself. For those of us who struggle to eat healthily sometimes, it’s handy to have a DIY douche.

It sounds silly, but it can be as simple as a syringe that you fill with water and then shoot up your butt. If you do this a couple of times until the water is clearish, then you are good to go. Try to avoid using douches that you buy at the store all the time, as using them all the time can damage the lining of your colon.

3. LUBE This is the most important part. Your partner could have bought out the entire Convenience For U supply of lube and you could still afford to put more on. Douse that sucker in lube (by sucker I’m referring to the penis, not a lollipop - please do not stick lollipops up your butt)

and then make sure to cover your anus as well.

4. Go slow While many of us have had the pleasure of watching gay porn, real life sex is nothing like that. You will not be able to have a penis, a baseball bat, two elephants, or the Empire State Building jammed straight into you without it hurting a lot.

First use a finger, then move on up to two and keep moving up until you feel comfortable. DO NOT RUSH IT. Don’t feel bad about taking too long a time, because it’s better for both of you that you’re loosened up rather than having Sauron’s death grip around his member.

5. Relax and enjoy!

Sex should be enjoyable. If you are uncomfortable at any time, tell your partner to stop and they will definitely understand. Anal sex is not for everyone, and there are plenty of other ways to show your lover that you love or appreciate them.

Female/female: pulling back the hood MEGAN LABELLE Contributor I wish I could tell you that I’ve cracked the code that is the complicated world of sex with women, or that I have golden, sage instructions for pleasing a woman that are more substantial than what you’d find on Wiki-how. Much to my dismay, however, that is essentially impossible.

Sure, I could give you guidelines that would steer you in the right direction based on what’s popular (no, lesbian porn isn’t real - look at their nails), but the truth of the matter is that every woman is different, with her own special code to unlock her pleasure.

As a potential lady-loving partner, the best thing you can do is to go into a hookup with an open mind, a willingness to try, and an understanding that you might not hit the mark on the first try; because if I wasn’t clear before: Women. Are. Complicated. I will, however, attempt to give you some basic pointers that will hopefully make sex with a woman seem less intimidating and hopefully more enjoyable, whether it’s your first or umpteenth time.

In the interest of being impartial and maintaining my position that every woman is different, I’ve narrowed things down to four pieces of advice that I’ve learned throughout my own experiences that seem to apply uniformly to most women, regardless of preferred style. Before we start: vagina, clitoris, anus, labia. Go ahead, get your giggles out, because

things might have to get technical. We good? Alright, here goes: 1. Communication is key.

My biggest pet peeve and yet also my own greatest shortcoming in bed is lack of communication. Because the technique a woman prefers changes from partner to partner, it’s important to ask what she likes. She might be into vaginal stimulation (penetration), clitoral stimulation (using hands or performing orally), or maybe a combination of both. While body language is usually a good indicator of whether or not you’re headed in the right direction, it’s still good to ask.

Seriously, it takes seconds to ask, “What are you into?” or, “How do you like it?” And guess what: it doesn’t have to be awkward. I saw a Yik Yak post not too long ago about a girl being frustrated that none of her partners could find her clitoris and one had spent fifteen minutes essentially massaging her labia.

Girl, is it really that hard to quickly whisper, “A little more to the left”…?

On the flip side, ladies, it would also make you a super awesome partner to volunteer up a little info when things start to get hot and heavy. Whisper it in their ear, make it playful, ask them their preference - however you want to do it, volunteering up the key to your pleasure not only saves you from an uncomfortable move (for example, some girls really don’t like the idea of oral sex) or the risk of losing hard-earned momentum from all the foreplay, but hey, it can also be really sexy.

My final point on this matter is that sometimes your girl has no idea what she wants or how she likes it, and that this is okay and is in fact quite normal. I’ll leave it to another Sex @ X article to advocate the importance of self-exploration, but if you’re at a loss for words in the face of a willing partner asking you what to do or if she doesn’t know how to guide you along, my advice would be to try a few things out and periodically check in to see how things are going and if they could be better.

2. Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay.

I can’t place enough stress the importance of foreplay when having sex with women.

While there are a few blessed individuals whose fire can ignite instantly, most of us need a little warming up first. Kissing, touching, scratching, biting, dirty talk - there are a number of ways you can do this. Go with what feels good and what you’re both comfortable with, and take your time. Gauging when your girl needs more or has had enough of foreplay mostly depends on body language or being a good communicator.

It’s also worth noting that while I applaud ladies who can please each other simultaneously, most of us tend to adhere to the “taking turns” context. If her foreplay isn’t really doing it for you and you’re not sure what to try next, you can always reverse the roles and start turning the attention to her.

Making her feel good can be a bigger turn on than all the dry

humping in the world. Don’t be afraid to try new things, and hey, sometimes that one move that isn’t enough to get her off is the perfect warm up. It’s worth a shot.

3. Finding the clitoris.

This can be one of the most difficult aspects of sex with women. Her pleasure centre is much less “out there” than our phallic friends, and again, every woman is different. If you can remember all the way back to sex ed, there’s quite a lot of skin down there: labia majora, labia minora, and the prepuce of the clitoris (the “hood”), to name the main obstacles to your quest to locate and stay on the clitoris.

Even some of the most experienced women can lose a clitoris when there’s a lot of movement involved (whether performing oral or just using hands or toys), when things get “slippery”, and when there’s lot of skin for the clitoris to hide behind.

With some women, the small “button” shape can be easy to feel after a bit of adjustment, but when the “button” is so small you can hardly feel it, there’s a few ways you can find it: a) take a step back and actually get a visual on it, b) ask her to guide you, or c) my favourite and almost fool-proof method of getting re-oriented when I feel lost or off-centre is to bring your finger (or tongue) down to her vaginal entrance and then draw it back up in a straight, vertical line until you hit the clitoris.

This last method has the added benefits of gathering more lubrication for your trip back up and enables you to get under the clitoris’ “hood” to the

actual “button” part more easily. Note: direct contact can sometimes be quite sensitive and sometimes girls prefer it if you mostly stay on top the “hood” and not go rummaging around under it.

4. If it tickles, go back to foreplay A gentle kiss, a light grazing of your thigh between her legs, the first few exploratory touches over or under clothes. Rule of thumb: if it tickles her, she’s not “warmed up” enough and you should probably go back to more or different foreplay. You don’t want to feel her jump and give a little squeak or giggle and squirm away from you because what you were hoping would be a super sensual touch tickled rather than inspired the intense sensation of simultaneous relief that you’re finally touching her and hunger for more. And hey, remember that if your foreplay isn’t doing the job, reversing the roles can be a big turn on. Give that a shot, and then try her again after.

Now go forth, young Padawans. Enjoy the joys of consensual, safe, and exciting sex. Although I maintain my opinion that women are, and always will be, complicated and infinitely unique, I hope these tips were able to open to some eyes (and legs) to the possibilities of samesex sex between women.

And ladies, even if you have a loving man who needs a little guidance, by all means hand him the paper and give him that silent look that says “Read this, and we’ll try stuff later”. You know, for “academic” purposes, of course. Happy Pride Week!

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Where is Straight Week?

“Every week is Straight Week. The only difference is that you don’t get a parade.”

KALYN MACASKILL Contributor A couple of years ago, one of my co-workers asked everyone at lunch whether or not we would be going to the Pride Parade that was happening as part of Halifax’s Pride Week. Another one of my coworkers responded, “Only if I bring my gun with me. I have no idea what they have to be proud about.”

This started a rant at the table about Pride Week and how there shouldn’t be one. I was mortified, but I remained, refusing to leave, because as much as I disagreed, I wanted to hear the rest of the conversation. The overarcing theme was that there is no “Straight Week”, so why should there be a Pride Week? Why do “the gays” get special privileges?

While my co-worker’s com-

ments were said out of a disturbing amount of arrogance, there are a lot of people who do question why there is a Pride Week but no Straight Week. I like to think they are under the belief that everyone should be celebrated, or that they are jealous that we get to celebrate the fact that we are fabulous for an entire week. My naïve outlook on the world keeps me warm at night, but I’m sure people’s reasoning for asking this question does not always stem out of these relatively innocent origins. No matter the reasoning, however, when people ask why there is a Pride Week but no Straight Week, they deserve an answer.

The answer? Because every week outside of Pride Week is Straight Week. The only difference is that you don’t get a parade.

What a lot of people fail to real-

ize is that while tolerance, acceptance, and celebration of the LGBT+ community is continuously growing, we still live in an extremely heterosexual society.

Generally, straight people don’t have to fear for their safety, worry about holding their partner’s hand in public, or face discrimination due to their sexual orientation.

Many heterosexual individuals don’t understand how much privilege their sexual orientation gives them, which leads them to wondering why there is no week to celebrate who they are.

I attended the Pride Parade in Halifax and I saw a sign that read “Remember when this wasn’t a parade”. It put it into perspective that Pride Week has not always been glitter, feather boas, and spandex.

Pride parades began as an activism march in the late 60’s, advocat-

How to be a good ally JANE STEVENSON Staff Writer So, you don’t identify as LGBT+. This means you’ve been blessed with straight, cisgender privilege, which allows you to escape discrimination based on your sexuality and gender identity. You’ll never have to “confess” your sexuality or gender to anyone, or be told it’s “just a phase”. You can publicly display your affection towards your partner with minimal judgement and your family likely won’t disown you because of who you’re attracted to. You can freely use the washroom without the fear of being verbally harassed or physically assaulted.

Reading this issue of the Xaverian may bring up feelings of anger, sadness, and disbelief about the things LGBT+ individuals have to go through on a daily basis. You may think, “Hey, this is some bullshit and I want to help!” but you may not know where to start – well, we’re here to help! Here are some tips to help you become the best ally you can be.

1. Shut up and listen. Being a good ally is all about listening to whatever your LGBT+ friends are going through and offering support. A great skill for allies to practice is active listening, which is paying attention to what the person is saying to you and thinking about their point of view rather than constantly trying to think of what your next response will be. It’s saying, “Wow, that’s awful, you’re so strong for going through that,” rather than, “Yeah, my parents threatened to kick me out too when they found a bong in my room.”

2. Do your research. You’re already partway there just by reading this newspaper!

Find out all of the different terms and pronouns that LGBT+ individuals might use.

Find out about different issues they may face.

Follow pages such as Everyday Feminism and LGBTQ Nation on Facebook. Not sure how something works? Google is your friend, which leads me to my next tip…

3. Do not ask invasive questions. Unsure about someone’s genitals? Don’t fucking worry about it. It doesn’t matter or change who they are as a person. Wondering about the details of someone’s sex life? Try asking them questions about what foods they like to eat or what their weekend plans are like a normal non-creepy human being.

4. Understand your own straight or cisgender privilege and use it to help out your LGBT+ friends. Privilege doesn’t mean you’ve never had any hardships in your life; it just means you wont be discriminated against because of certain aspects of your life such as race, gender, class, or sexuality.

I’ve listed a few examples above, but there are many more privileges that straight, cis people have without even knowing or thinking about them. So the next time someone makes a homophobic or transphobic “joke”, ask them why they find that funny, and use it as an opportunity to educate.

5. Own up when you do something shitty.

Not everyone is perfect, and you may accidentally say or do something that perpetuates negativity toward the LGBT+ community. If you realize it, apologize. If someone calls you out on it, don’t get defensive. Own up to it, say you’re sorry and learn from it.

Allies are essential to the LGBT+ community, so do your research, get out there, and be the best ally ever!

ing and fighting for gay liberation and gay freedom. People were angry with the way the LGBT+ community was being treated and harassed, and they took to the streets to take a stance and have their voices heard. In the 80’s, Pride marches shifted more towards a Gay Pride stance and began appearing in more and more cities and towns.

Pride parades and Pride weeks have taken on a fun approach hence the glitter, feather boas and spandex - and have evolved to be an overall positive event that draws in LGBT+ community members and their allies. While Pride Week is a great time, some have lost sight of why Pride celebrations started: to fight for equality and promote celebration of diversity. Under all of the rainbows is a fight for a cause - a fight heterosexual people don’t

have to partake in on a daily basis.

Case in point: Pride Week isn’t here to make all you straight and cisgender folks feel any lesser about your sexual orientation. It is a week for the LGBT+ community to feel recognized for theirs. The nice thing about Pride Week is that it isn’t exclusive to those who identify within the LGBT+ community.

It is for absolutely everyone who celebrates love and diversity.

I strongly encourage you to make it out to the events throughout the week in order to show your solidarity with the community unless this article didn’t help your understanding of why Pride Week exists and you still don’t think Pride Week should be a thing. In that case, let us have our week, then go back to enjoying the 51 straight weeks you have every year.

sometimes lesbians don’t wear plaid LAUREN AGNEW & SHELBI KILCOLLINS Senior Reporter/Sports Editor “So, are you still going to wear make-up and stuff ?” This is how my mother reacted when I told her I had a girlfriend. As if my sexuality had everything to do with my personal hygiene and make-up routine. As if a person could wake up one morning and just start throwing out her Naked palettes (do you know what I spent on those Mom?!) or contour brushes (never) or eyeliner (lol). But that’s the stereotype: lesbians wear socks and Birkenstocks, obnoxiously large jeans, plaid flannel shirts, fitted caps, mostly athletic clothing and own an array of collared shirts. Sometimes they do in fact own one piece or the whole collection, and that’s fine, but there is not a designated uniform for being a gay female. If there is, I missed the memo.

Sometimes, believe it or not, lesbians wear dresses. And highlight their hair. And wear pearls in their ears.

Sometimes they put on high heels, wear make-up, and blend in with every other female patrolling the bars in the Western hemisphere. And you know what? That’s okay too. But sometimes looking like a diva presents itself its own spectrum of challenges, because stereotypes, regardless of their birthplace, reveal ignorance and create uncomfortable dialogue.

I shouldn’t have to convince people

that my relationship is authentic simply because I don’t “look like a lesbian.” Girls at parties shouldn’t tell me to “stop looking for attention,” when I say I have a girlfriend while wearing the same kind of crop top and highwaisted skirt that they are. And boys definitely don’t get to say “I bet that I could make you straight,” just because I look like every other girl they’ve managed to hook up with. When I voice that I like women, it is a complete sentence, not a topic for debate.

My appearance is completely independent of my sexual orientation. I am not an exception to the rule by any stretch of the imagination. Victoria Secret model Stella Maxwell, Cara Delevingne and Portia De Rossi have all reported being with women romantically. Until society adjusts its heteronormative assumptions, I will continue to struggle convincing people that I do in fact like women, and yes “I’m sure.” For a moment I thought it might have been necessary to buzz my hair or start wearing tons of plaid in order to avoid the conversation about my sexuality, but then I recognized that I thrive comfortably and confidently in my girly demeanour and that buying into the stereotype only further promotes it.

So I will continue to choose floral over flannel and have Barbiesque hair, and strangers will continue to remark how “straight” I appear, but I can’t help who I love and I refuse to alter my appearance to conform.

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thursday february fourth, 2016

9

FEATURES EDITOR PAIGE CHISHOLM “The first time I told someone I wasn’t straight we were on a McDonalds run. Let me add that we were not drunk; we had just got hit with a midnight craving of fries and ice-cream. Don’t knock it to you try it. So the path from our house to McDonalds is kinda dark, very grassy, and pretty slippery and we always have the best conversations while trying not to fall. I can’t remember how we got on the subject, but my best friend said, “if I liked labels, I would identify as pansexual.” I stopped in the grass, looked at her and her ice-cream and said, “me too.” We might’ve hugged, or we might’ve kept walking so we could eat our fries before they got cold. Either way, saying the words, to someone that I felt safe saying them to, felt like a weight off my shoulders and I’ve been able to say it with more confidence each time since. ” - Jayme

“I’ve come out many times in my life, but none were quite as entertaining as coming out to my rowing team over the summer. i was in a relationship at the time so my boyfriend would come drop me off at practice and come watch regattas. He also was a triathlete so he would run around the lake that we rowed on and was basically very visible to the team. We never hid our relationship, we would kiss goodbye and hold hands occasionally when we saw the other members of the team. He went on a four week vacation to Madagascar so there were a few weeks when I didn’t see him, and when we were reunited it was after practice one day. Obviously our greeting was a little more intimate because I hadn’t seen him in so long. After we finished kissing each other I went back to say goodbye to the team, who were all completely silent, until one of them asked me “Do you make out with all your friends?”. Apparently they did not know that I was gay and the other guy was my boyfriend and just thought that we were exceptionally good friends” - Ryley

“The first time I admitted my feelings for another girl out loud it didn’t go too well. I was only about eight and the girls I confided in were very young as well, and didn’t quite understand. But when I officially came out as bisexual, years later around the age of fourteen, it went much better. I told my family first and they were overwhelming supportive and loving. My friends, who I told a few months later, were just as accepting. My coming out went better than I could have hoped and I am still beyond grateful to everyone in my life for being the wonderful people that they are and making my experience so positive. My parents and sisters in particular have been beyond amazing. One of my favourite memories of my dad is how, as soon as I finished my carefully rehearsed coming out speech, he told me a joke about a duck that was “bi-sack-ual” because they didn’t mind using either paper or plastic bags at the grocery store. I have since had to come out all over again in a sense when I told my parents and sisters that my preferred label was now queer, although both queer and bisexual are acceptable to me.

Truthfully, you never stop coming out because when you meet new people you often end up needing to come out again and again, like when I met new (just as amazing) friends at X. But I’ve been so lucky to have such positive experiences coming out and living my life as a queer individual, and I hope someday that will be the norm for those coming out instead of all the problems that most have to face.”

- Annie

“My parents first found out that I was bi-sexual by sifting through my text messages. I had been texting my girlfriend at the time, and I suppose my mom could tell by the tone of the messages what had been going on. My sister was the one who found my mom looking through my phone, who I had already told (and she had no problem with it). I was leaving for hockey the same night, and just before I walked out the door, my parents told me to come back to the dinner table so that they could tell me that they were “very disappointed” with my actions. I remember crying all the way to hockey practice. My mom wouldn’t even look at me for the next couple of weeks. From then on, there was just a huge elephant in the room. My mom would insist on asking me about the boys in my life, who they were and if I was dating any of them, clearly disregarding my personal preferences. It wasn’t until two years later that I formally addressed my sexuality with my parents, in my first year at university. Again, it ended in my crying over the phone with my parents, sitting in my old rez room in Bishops. My parents didn’t talk to me for two weeks, which for me was absolutely devastating. I just shut them out, and when my dad told me my mom was too sick to talk to me, I told him that she “must be sick with a case of homophobia” and hung up. Even though it has taken 6 years to come to a place of peace between myself and my parents with regard to my sexuality, I think the processes I have been through with them have ultimately strengthened my relationship with them and even my understanding of myself. However, it is a devastating feeling to be abandoned, if even only for a short period of time, by those you love and rely on. It is because of my personal experience that I try my best to be a person people can turn to when others turn away.”

- Anonymous

“When I came out to my younger brother the first thing he said was “You just ruined my favourite kind of porn.” I promptly treated him to a forty-minute long lecture on why the over sexualization of LGBTQIAP people can be extremely damaging. Then he asked me about my relationship with every woman he’d ever seen me with and I made him buy me shots. Sibling bonding at its finest. “ - Sloane

“I was having a really hard time figuring out how to come in my first year when I had my first girlfriend. One night a close family friend of mine picked me up to grab some icecream. He and I awlways had a thing for bad knock-knock jokes so I used this to my advantage. I was so stressed out about telling him so the second I got in the car I said the joke I had been planning over and over in my head.

“Knock-knock” “Whose there” “Dating” “Dating who?”

“A girl named Rebecca” “Haha cool. When can I meet her?”

His positive and overall non-reactive response to my coming out gave me the courage to eventually come out to some of my family and other friends. Coming out to various people over the year hasn’t always been easy, but his reaction has always reminded me that there are accepting people in the world who just want to see you happy. “ - Kalyn

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thursday february fourth, 2016

culture

EDITOR: RACHEL LEBLANC xw.culture@stfx.ca

Same sex dating at X The when and where for finding that special someone RYLEY ERIKSON Contributor Ah, February. The time of year when the days start to get longer, the snowbanks shrink to shoulder height and the sweet smell of love (or maybe meal hall triangle potatoes) fills the air.

Now for your average student, finding a Valentine’s Date is tricky enough; scouring the back wall of the pub for your potential bae, hoping that cute guy/ gal you shared notes with will text you or having to swipe right until you have arthritis in your thumbs on tinder are not always the most appealing options. But for those of us seeking a partner of the same sex, it gets even trickier with the limited selection and questionable sexualities people can have. So I present the top ways to find a same-sex date at StFX. MINI MOES While there have been rumours flying around that drinking a triple shot no whip three pump vanilla mocha latte is indicative of one’s sexuality, it has yet to be proven in any scientific study (potential honours thesis anyone?), so your scouting potential is quite limited here.

However, mini moe’s is perfect for the first meetup from your app, whether that be tinder, bumble, grindr, her, hornet, manhunt, dattch, Christian mingle, okCupid, sugardaddy.com, Ashley Madison or one of the various others. There is also a myth that if you order the person behind you a steamed hot chocolate with hazelnut then

Photo: stocksy.com they will automatically fall in love with you (especially if that person is 5’11” and British). The downside is the large amount of adorable straight couples that always populate the various tables and make your self-confidence about finding a partner plummet THE PUB Nothing says romance like

dropping it low at Pipers Pub, and I have seen plenty of evidence with my own eyes of people falling in love (well, sort of love) on the dance floor. The pub is especially good for women looking for other women, as something in the tequila makes every person there 300% more attracted to ladies (whether you’re male, female, or anything else). However, because everyone is so into the women, the

prospects of finding another guy as a male are lower than the Canadian dollar and Donald Trump’s IQ combined.

This infamous app is the main reason why gay guys have a greater sense of distance than anyone else: the distance away from the closest fellow gay man is measured in meters and al-

lows for homing-pigeon like precision. I am also told that it sorts you into various tribes such as ‘geek’ or ‘Jock’ or ‘Zulu’ to allow people to quickly judge your personality type, because they don’t already quickly judge the number of abs you have. Apparently the main drawback (which I have not tested) is that it is very difficult for women to get dates on this app though I am not entirely sure why this is the case.

ning bolt across my face in hopes that even for a moment I would be able to hear what ground control was trying to tell Major Tom. Thank you for telling us stories that reverberate deep in your soul. You fought for the rights of minorities with your music, which shone light on the disturbing racial inequality still seen today. You are the lynchpin behind the Rock Star ideology of wanting to do things not because you are getting paid or for popularity, but for the sake of not caring what other people think of you. I suppose what I am trying to get at is you have saved so many with your zeal for life. You have helped me ap-

preciate the beauty of being conscious. You have helped me become so comfortable with my own sexuality that the word itself barely registers in my vocabulary. In my journey through this life I have had the pleasure of being able to don the looks of other genders and because of you I feel no difference in my persona. I am myself and if anyone has trouble accepting that then that will forever be their problem. You played so that both East and West Germans could hear your message. You broke the wall with your riffs, you cut concrete and metal with your words, and for a few hours you David, brought a tattered country together again.

You changed so many lives with your music, your activism and charity, your movies, your books, and your humor. As I look back at your late night television appearances you always laughed and always seemed to love the life you lead.

You showed us that life is truly a journey and to stop and look at the stars every once and a while. You left us a legacy to envy. You always had a flare for the dramatics but as you once said, “I don’t know where I am going from here, but I promise it won’t be boring.”

Goodbye Ziggy I will be sure to look for you in the night sky as dreamers do from time to time.

GRINDR

Ziggy Star Dust Why I have David Bowie to thank.

ROB HALLIGAN Contributer Six years before Superman crashed into our lives on the big screen the human race was visited by a different alien form.

This celestial prophet exploded into our atmosphere with a cacophony of hair raising interstellar music. This infamous Starman, Ziggy Stardust of course, would come to change the music industry forever. In the height of glam rock David Bowie transformed into Ziggy after arguably his greatest album ever, Hunky Dory. This unique persona adopted by Bowie lead the charge of the sexual revolution in the mid-

1970s. Bowie’s sexuality already in question before his transformation was even more scrutinized by the very provocative in nature Ziggy Stardust. I am, however, not here to discuss the sexuality of the late Rockstar but merely to say thank you for his bravery to be weird and be so absolutely down to earth despite being from Mars.

Thank you David, thank you on behalf of my generation, the generation that came a little late to the Golden Age of Rock but appreciate its importance none the less. I myself being a wild child, forever dreaming of rocking the world as you did, stealing my mother’s red lipstick and drawing a red light-

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Questioning a queer Responding to questions about the LGBTQ community SLOANE RYAN Contributor

Q; How do two guys and two girls have sex?

Q: How did you know you were gay?

A: Personally, it was mainly the fact that the thing I find most attractive about a man, is usually his sister..

A: There isn’t just one way for two people to have sex. All it takes is a little imagination.

The information is out there and if you want you can always stop by The Space and I can recommend some helpful books and pamphlets. Also, the porn you’re watching is lying to you.

Q: Are people born gay?

A: To me, it makes sense that gayness is like that quote about greatness, “some people are born gay, some achieve gayness, and some have gayness thrust upon them.” But yes, people are just born this way. We’re kind of like four leaf clovers: a statistical anomaly perhaps, but arguably luckier because of it.

Q: How can I help my family understand?

A:Thankfully, there is now lots of information for families who want to learn more and to better understand their loved one. Really, you can find tons of strategies for how to go about informing your family online. This Is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids by Dannielle Owens-Reid and Kristin Russo can be very helpful for parents of LGBTQIAP individuals of all ages (not just gay kids as the name suggests.) PFLAG Canada also has a list of resources for family members. Sometimes the best thing can be a very frank discussion with them, as awkward as it may be.

Q: Why are gay men so flamboyant?

A: This, my friends, is what’s called a stereotype.

LGBTQIAP individuals, like the rest of humanity, come in a wide array of sizes and shapes and colours. Not all gay men are flamboyant, just like not all French people know about wine. Stereotypes are irrelevant; you need to let them go.

Q: How should I come out?

A: This is tricky. Mostly because I hate the idea that epitome of the LGBTQIAP experience is the ‘coming out’ narrative. But that’s just me being bitter. The most important thing to remember is that the decision to come out should be made on your own terms. Don’t feel like you have to come out because it’s something society is telling you to do. If you don’t think you’re in a position where it’s safe for you to come out, please don’t feel like you have to – there is absolutely no shame in waiting. Your safety is paramount.

If you’ve decided to come out, let me say I am so happy for you that you’ve gotten to a place where you have accepted yourself, have decided you want to live openly, and have come to the conclusion that it’s the right time to share this information with others. It’s not easy; you’re amazing and I’m hella proud of you!

The actual process of coming out can be started a ton of ways. Most people say its better to do it in a face to face conversation where you can have an open dialogue. If you go that route I would just say it’s probably better to have the conversation in a more private place. I know people who’ve chose to come out in written letters specifically so they could revise what and how they wanted to say things. I’ve even seen pictures of a girl who baked her parents a cake and wrote it in icing. Person-

Photo: Tumblr ally, I was way too anxious to even think of doing it in person and instead did most of my initial coming out over the phone or via text. Everyone is different, and ultimately it has to be whatever you’re the most comfortable with. You do You. Q: Are transgender people gay?

A: Some Transgender people are. Just like some are straight and some are asexual.

Guys, a person’s gender has no say in their sexual orientation.

Q: Are gay people attracted to their own bodies?

A: Being gay isn’t some sort of advanced form of narcissism. Do I think I’m majestic?

Yes, of course. Do I want to take myself out on dates and have romantic candlelit dinners looking into a mirror? No.

Q: A person that I’ve known most of my life recently came out as trasngender. it’s really hard for me to remember their new name, and preferred pronouns.

What should I do?

A: The answer is simple: Use the correct name and pronouns. You don’t like when someone gets your name wrong, so don’t do it to someone else. If you don’t know what pronouns to use, ask. I get it, it’s a learning curve and you may make mistakes – that person probably understands that too. The best thing to do in that situation is to apologize discretely and resolve to be better. Put in the effort to be a decent human being, it’ll make everyone feel better in the long run.

Q: Will you have a threesome with my girlfriend and

I? A: Firstly, this is NOT a good question to try and start a conversation with. Just because someone identifies as bisexual or pansexual or polysexual does not mean they’re interested in polyamory or having multiple partners at once. That being said, if you’re speaking to me specifically, send pics and we’ll talk.

Q: What is the gay agenda?

A: 1. Start that paper that’s due next week.

2. Finish binge watching season 10 of Friends.

3. Find a job for this sum mer.

4. Eat more salad.

5. Overthrow the powers that be and take over the government.

6. Get my X Ring.

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thursday february fourth, 2016

WTF is LGBTQ+?

What do those letters even mean?

JAYME FOUILLARD Contributor So you wanna understand more about the LGBTQIA+ community but don’t know where to start? First things first, labels seem to be an integral part of our society and communities. It can be very comforting to some people to find a word that explains exactly how they identify, however others might not see labels as necessary and that’s fine. How a person identifies is their business; there’s no need to judge people on the basis of how they identify, but an understanding of the acronyms in the LGBTQQIP2sA+ community is extremely helpful.

Please keep in mind that there is a difference between romantic and sexual attraction and most of these prefixes can be attached to either the -romantic or -sexual suffix. Sexual attraction is a physical or psychological desire to have sexual relations with other individuals. Romantic attraction is an emotional or psychological desire to be close emotionally with others.

Author’s disclaimer: I am a pansexual gray-romantic cisfemale who barely has a grasp on my own identity. I do not pretend to be an expert, but I have done my research and hope that this article might address WTF LBGTA+ means to some.

L = Lesbian: a female identifying individual attracted to another female identifying individual.

G = Gay: a male identifying individual attracted to another male identifying individual.

B = Bi-sexual: Romantic attraction to more than one gender.

T = Trans: refers to all transgender, non-binary and gender nonconforming identities. This might, but is not limited to transgender, transsexual, transfluid, genderqueer, genderfluid, non-binary, genderless, agender, non-gendered, third gender, bigender, and transmen and transwomen.

Q = Queer: a term used to refer to the entire LGBTQ+ community.

Q = Questioning: The process that individuals might go through in exploring and discovering their sexual and romantic orientations, gender expression, and gender identity.

tracted to multiple genders.

Omni-sexual/Romantic: attracted to all genders.

Ambi-sexual/Romantic: attracted to both genders, and is a very ambiguous term.

Skolio-sexual/Romantic: attraction to non cis or non binary individuals.

Demi-sexual/Romantic: being attracted to individuals only after an emotional close bond has been formed.

G ray-sexual /Romantic: rarely, or only under certain conditions, experience sexual/ romantic attraction.

Cupio-sexual/Romantic : doesn’t get a sexual/romantic attraction yet still desires a sexual/romantic relationship.

Akoi-/Lith-sexual/Romantic: experiencing attraction without desiring the reciprocation of that attraction. Sometimes, the feelings of attraction might actually fade if the feelings are reciprocated.

Q u o i - / W T F- s ex u a l / R o mantic: when you can’t tell the difference between attractions you might be feeling, or just really confused with what you’re feeling.

Ultimately, you have to un-

derstand that people have the power to choose what sexuality they identify with, and they also have power over what their sexuality means to them.

My pansexuality might be different from someone else’s pansexuality but that does not in any shape or form make either of our identities less valid. If someone comes out to you using a word that you don’t quite understand, their identity is still valid, even if you don’t understand the word. At the end of the day, to be a good human being, you’ve gotta respect their identity no matter how unpronounceable you might find the new word you’ve learned.

If you are more of a visual learner, check out this chart!

Photo provided by x-pride

I = Intersex: An individual who has a variation in gonads, chromosomes, or genitalia that do not fit the traditional definition of male and female.

P = Pan-sexual/ Romantic: attraction to others is not based on gender.

2S = Two-spirited: has been used by some Indigenous groups as an umbrella term that encompasses same sex attraction as well as gender variance and everything in between.

A-A-sexual/Romantic: does not experience sexual or romantic attraction. (+): Poly-sexual/Romantic: attracted to many genders.

Multi-sexual/Romantic: at-

A MESSAGE FROM PAUSE FOR THE CAUSE KRISTIAN RASENBERG Contributer As UN peace talks regarding the Syrian conflict are pushed back another week, rampant violence and destruction in the area continues with no clear end in sight. As more homes are demolished and more lives are lost each passing day, millions of victims are being forced into a position where they must seek refuge elsewhere in the world. StFX for SAFE is a University wide humanitarian campaign that

calls upon all Xaverians to raise funds for the SAFE Society, with a goal of $100,000. As a start, we have launched the Pause for the Cause fundraising campaign, which challenges each and every one of us to take a break from frivolous spending and to instead donate that money to this cause.

100% of the contributions will be used to sponsor Syrian refugee families. It is a movement of moral conscious, a movement towards global solidarity and a collective fight against fear. If everyone took one night

off from the bar this semester or stopped drinking coffee for only one week, we could collectively raise enough money to move an entire refugee family out of danger and into this amazing community. Knowing this, does it not make some small sacrifice seem to be an insignificant burden? As university students preoccupied with midterms and Nova Scotia snowfalls, we sometimes feel that there is little we can do in the midst of all the chaos and confusion half a world away. Nevertheless, the im-

pact of our actions ripple across the country and right across the earth to loudly speak of what our true values are. If there is any doubt in your mind, ask any of the 3 families, the 17 beautiful souls that have been safely relocated in Antigonish, the town many of us call our second home. They have been touched by the love and generosity shown to them by the Canadian people. The current refugee crisis is our generation’s greatest call of duty. It is our opportunity to stand united

against war, terror and fear by rising to this challenge. If we act now, in 20 years we can look back and proudly say that we did our part when the world needed help most. For the lives that you will touch, for the hope that it will bring, and for the sake of humanity; look to your roommates and friends and find it in your hearts to take a pause this semester for a cause unlike any we’ve seen before. We are all in this together and when we come together, we can make the world a better place.

distractions

13

EDITOR: TY KINGSTON xw.distractions@stfx.ca

A Fragment of Fourteen TY KINGSTON Pac-man’s Prostitute Arthur Inkheart was very excited.

“Tonight’s our first dance!” He told Keegan excitedly, springing alcohol from beneath his bed. The boys jittered in their dorm.

“We’ll be each other’s wingmen!” Keegan said sappily as they sipped it.

Absalom Catholic Academy, although a prestigious boarding school for grades 6-12, preserves its social functions for grades 9-12.

It’s a big deal for first-timers.

When they had enough liquid courage the boys departed. As was the custom of the times, the dance quickly devolved into a slimy crotch massage.

You’d think Arthur would be more interested in his potential virginity thief. Oh no! There was a train wreck called Keegan to

watch. Keegan was very drunk.

Like a chivalrous knight, Arthur peeled off his partner, and ran to the rescue.

“How are ya bud?!” Arthur hollered over the pulsating, mechanical music.

“Good – I’m – I might – be sick.”

Arthur guessed what he said, and peeled off Keegan’s dance partner.

Our duo passed the teachers who furiously entranced themselves in the horny horde of teenagers. They were, as the Germans say ‘angepisst’ – oh, they were very angepisst!

Arthur brought Keegan back to the dorm.

“Did ya see her?

“Who, Keegan?”

“That one chick.”

“No.” “I didn’t either – she kept turning her butt to me.”

“You were on booty duty Keeg.”

“What! Oh – I bet she was real skunky; Arthur, you saved me from a hot mess!”

“Maybe” Arthur said, lowering him to his bed.

Suddenly, Keegan bearhugged Arthur, dragging him onto the bed.

“You’re my best friend,” said Keegan, within intimate space of Arthur’s face, laying beneath him in a drunken embrace.

“You’re mine too – now would ya mind-“ “I’m so happy! ‘Cause you are – you are my best friend.” Keegan’s soft hands cherished Arthur’s sides.

“That’s great, but…“ Closer, tighter, tighter together Keegan towed them.

“You’re my best friend,” Keegan whispered in his ear; a kiss’ distance away. Keegan mo-

tioned for Arthur’s cheek.

“This is bad,” Arthur swerved his head away.

Soft, warm, honey sweet lips caressed Arthur’s neck as a soft, sensual breeze titillated his face.

“This is worse.”

Keegan’s lips were touching, just touching, his neck, as Keegan giggled, “Oops.”

“That’s enough!” Arthur jerked away, “Go – good night, Keegan.”

“I’m not even that drunk, Arthur,” Keegan said as he passed out.

Arthur twitched. He tossed and he turned; he turned and he tossed. He could not relax.

So he carved out his heart with a pen, and let it bleed unto the page; he wrote: I can’t relax because of Keegan – sometimes he gets me so worked up I can’t sleep. You know how some people get you going so

much you shake? And your memories of them are so intense they’re all you think about?

Jesus. I just read that last part.

Listen, I know how it reads, it isn’t what it seems! God, that makes it seem worse!

Listen, please hear me out. I know how it reads, and I know what you must think of me. Oh, it rattles me – it feels like there’s bugs under my skin!

But listen to me!

It’s more complicated than that – look at how I love Phoebe – I do love Phoebe. If you put the heat of a June sun, all the innocence of a kid, all the songs the morning birds sing – if you put that into one person it would be Phoebe Belle!

I know I have… things to figure out – but I’m only fourteen! Who’s really done figuring that out at fourteen? – It eats at me!

Not that I’m against it, but I hope it’s only a phase.

Scientists now Agree that human sexuality occurs across a Spectrum: Now’s Your chance to...

Ty Kingston ‘Rainbow‘ guzzler

14

thursday thursday february february fourth, fourth, 2016 2016

sports and health

EDITOR: SHELBI KILCOLLINS xw.sports@stfx.ca

Having a gay old time Does inter-squad dating really affect team sports?

LAUREN AGNEW Senior Reporter The long-running stereotype of female athletes being gay is played out and boring.

But is there a foundation for this particular stereotype?

There’s no research to back it up, however sometimes it really feels like there’s something other than lead in the water at the Oland Center. Over the past years, more than a few notable StFX female varsity athletes have earned a spot on the Back Wall of the pub (and if you’ve been there and left with your sexuality intact, kudos to you).

In the spirit of tradition, many women’s rugby and women’s hockey athletes have embodied the stereotype, leading to a large number of interteammate relationships (fondly referred to as “team-cest”). If you’ve ever watched The L Word or The Real L Word (which I watched strictly for research purposes I swear), you will know that the lesbian community is regrettably smaller than the average lesbian would like. The too-interconnected web of lesbians is even smaller in the athletic world, because for some reason athletes seem to attract athletes.

That being said, it doesn’t seem to cause as much drama

as one w o u l d think. In the past 18 years as Xwo m e n rugby head c o a c h , Mike Cavanagh says he has never had to have a conve rs a t i o n with players about their dating habits negatively affecting the team.

“It’s a people thing, not a gender thing.

As long as the relationship is mature and the two people can act like adults, it is not my job to tell people who to love.” He also adds that the only reason he would act would be, “if one of my players is being hurt or abused, then maybe we need to have a conversation about how we treat each other as people.”

Despite the large number of (alleged) inter-teammate relation-

ships, X-Women rugby seem to have no problem keeping personal relationships from affecting their game. With one of the best win records in the CIS, Cavanagh’s approach to coaching understands that what affects a player on the field has little to do with sexuality.

Women’s Hockey Coach David Synishin also feels the same

way. He believes that as a university athlete, your sport is equivalent to your profession.

People are affected by relationships in d i f f e re n t ways, and “it doesn’t matter if a player is dating someone within their own locker room or from the o t h e r ( m e n’s ) locker room across the hall”, as long as they are prepared to maintain a level of professionalism, and be mindful of the relationship not having a significant impact on those around them. Both Cavanagh and Synishin agree that some people are able to balance dating and varsity athletics and others are not, and just like any relation-

ship at the end of the day, it comes down to “maturity”, “respect” and compatibility.

Synishin also boasts a winning record, with numerous National medal contentions and AUS titles, and says he has never had players’ relationships with each other affect the way the team performed.

With all the rumours flying around the rugby community about the women’s national team instituting a “no dating teammates” policy, it begs the question of whether or not this rule could have made a difference. Fortunately for all the athletic back wall bandits of StFX, Cavanagh and Synishin both agree that there is no way a rule like that would ever work, and would create more problems than solutions.

Additionally, as Cavanagh says, “We’re all adults here.

It’s not my place to tell anyone who to love or how to be happy.”

So to all the budding baby lesbians, have no fear! Leave the safety of the Back Wall and U-Haul your way into the web. Whether you become a card-carrying member of the Lipstick Mafia or not, just remember a little chemistry on (or off) the field never hurt anyone.

care treatment, or lack of, that they receive.

LGBTQ+ report less equitable access to health care and having higher levels of unmet health care needs. LGBTQ+ may be reluctant to tell their care providers about their sexual orientation for fear of judgment and mistreatment. For those who do disclose their sexual orientation to their doctors, some may be met with prejudice. Some individuals report being refused treatment or experiencing verbal abuse and disrespectful behaviour from health care providers, leading them to chose to switch doctors and be less likely to seek help in the future. Healthcare providers also may not be familiar with health care concerns specific to LGBTQ+. This lack of training may lead to less than optimal care for LGBTQ+ adolescents and adults.

We need to see change in multiple ways to better address the needs of the LGBTQ+ com-

munity. For one, physicians need to improve their awareness about LGBTQ+ and take steps to create an open, nonhostile and non-discriminative environment for all patients.

Healthcare providers should avoid making assumptions about a patient’s gender identity or sexual orientation.

Health care providers should also be educated on LGBTQ+ specific health concerns and how to treat them. Lower levels of mental health predict lower levels of physical health.

By continuing to rid discrimination against LGBTQ+ individuals and see positive movement in the acceptance of the community, we can make for a brighter future for everyone.

By educating others on inclusivity and non-judgment, all LGBTQ+ individuals can hopefully, in the very near future, feel comfortable expressing their identity and seeking health care when they need it.

Inequity in healthcare How our medical system is failing the LGBTQ+ community CAITLIN VANCE Health Columnist Equality is defined as ensuring individuals or groups of individuals are treated fairly and equally and no less favourably, regardless of differences. As Canadians we should all have an opportunity equal with others to make for ourselves the lives that we are able and wish to have without being hindered or prevented from doing so by discrimination. Everyone has a

right to access to services that help maintain our social, mental, and physical health. Unfortunately, for some who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender, their access to health care services may be hindered or affected by the stigma around LGBTQ+ and consequently their physical health suffers.

The prejudice that surrounds the LGBTQ+ community sadly can affect those who identify as lesbian, gay or transgender. The pressure and judgment felt by individuals who identify as lesbian, gay, b i s ex u a l or transgender from family and

friends can be extremely overwhelming and cause psychological distress. Those who identify as LGTBQ+ have higher prevalence for depression and anxiety, and they also have higher risks for a variety of health issues related to physical health. Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender patients are at an increased risk of suicide, eating disorders, substance misuse, and breast and anal cancer. There is a higher rate of eating disorders among gay or bisexual men compared to heterosexual men. Sexual minority women have elevated odds of most adverse health conditions including heart disease and obesity and lower odds of receiving a physical or dental examination. This is prevalent in sexual minority men as well but to a lesser degree than women. These increased health risks are not based on the sole fact that these individuals identify as LGBTQ+, but rather the health

15

Doubling up on stigma A look into LGBTQ+ mental health MICHELLE GREY Contributor Taking a look into the life of a LGBTQ+ person, it should come as no surprise that they are constantly facing stigma, stereotyping and discrimination based only on their sexual orientation or gender identity.

Imagine already having this prejudice and oppression, then adding the extra layer of stigma and discrimination by also having a mental health and/or addiction issue on top of being a sexual minority. Studies have shown that there is a clear connection between being a sexual minority and having a higher risk for some mental health and/or addition issues due to the negative impact of discrimination on a person’s social determinants of health (Canadian Mental Health Association Ontario., Unknown).

The social determinants of health are fourteen categories of social and economic factors that can have positive or negative influence on a person’s overall health (Canadian Mental Health Association Ontar-

io.).

According to the World Health Organization mental disorders are “comprised of a broad range of problems, with different symptoms. However, they are generally characterized by some combination of abnormal thoughts, emotions, behaviour and relationships with others” (World Health Organization, 2016).

LGBTQ+ persons are at a higher risk than their heterosexual counterparts for developing mental health and/or addiction issues throughout their lifetime. As represented in the following statistics: Higher risk for depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and suicidal thoughts (Robinson, M., 2012).

Two and a half times more likely to attempt suicide, as well as have double the risk of developing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) (Robinson, M., 2012). In a survey done with transgendered persons, 78% reported having considered suicide and the majority had reported having negative experiences with the

health care system (McCann, E. et al, 2014).

10% of participants met criteria for PTSD & 15% met criteria for major depression Tend to report unmet mental health needs, but also were more likely to seek consults from health care providers (HCP) (Robinson, M., 2012).

During a survey 77% of participants thought their HCP lacked knowledge or sensitivity to LGBTQ+ issues (McCann, E. et al, 2014).

Women particularly at risk for substance-related disorders, whereas men were at a higher risk of suicide (Robinson, M., 2012).

Some research suggests that the use of alcohol, tobacco and other substances may be 2 to 4 times higher in LGBTQ+ persons (Canadian Mental Health Association Ontario, Unknown).

After reading about the statistics surrounding LGBTQ+ mental health and the high risk of having a mental illness or addiction, it begs the question why this is happening.

Stigma & Discrimination:

During a study done in the US, the majority of mental health service users felt compelled to hide their sexual orientation or gender identity, leading to mistrust and poor uptake of mental health services (McCann, E. et al, 2014). The pressure of dealing with homophobia makes mental health issues fairly common within the LGBTQ+ community (McCann, E. et al, 2014).

Targets of sexual and physical assault, harassment and hate crimes: There has been a doubling of hate crimes motivated by sexual orientation from 2007-2008, and were noted to be the most violent of the hate crimes; In an Ontario study 20% of transgender persons having experienced physical or sexual assault and 34% stating they were subjected to verbal threats or harassment (Canadian Mental Health Association Ontario., Unknown).

Experience family rejection/ lack of support: having a positive experience of coming out and the support of family/ friends is associated with reduced risk of substance abuse (Robinson, M., 2012).

Having the support from family and friends, as well as having supportive workplaces/ neighbourhoods, and self-acceptance can reduce stress and help promote a positive mental health in LGBTQ+ persons (Robinson, M., 2012).

For any questions or concerns related to mental health or addiction services please see the contact information below.

Mental Health Services (St. Martha’s) (902) 867-4500 [Ext. 4345] 1-888-291-3535 (Toll Free) Mental Health Crisis Line: 24/7 telephone crisis support and mobile response 1-888-429-8167 (Toll Free) 811 Services: to access to non-emergency health information and services 8-1-1 (In Nova Scotia) Addictions Antigonish (902) 867-4500 [Ext. 4615 or 4600] Addictions GASHA 1-800-291-3535 (Toll Free) Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention http://suicideprevention.ca/ 204-784-4073

Sports world opens the closet An evolution towards inclusion SHELBI KILCOLLINS Sports and Health Editor Sports is a lens for cultural transitions, political movements and social trends, which include those of the LGBTQ+ community. This past year waves among the sports world have been made to recognize the difficulties and existences of this demographic-particularly in hyper masculine heteronormative sports- and celebrate those who have stepped forward to fight for further inclusion. Although not fully complete because it still appears a groundbreaking story when a male football or basketball player such as Jason Collins identifies as homosexual, athletics like any social facet independent from religion is recognizing the importance of equity and un-

importance of who you love when it comes to playing a game.

The rapid speed of this movement can be attributed to some courageous organizations and athletes who have unapologetically shared their gender/sexual orientation story and those who have presented themselves as allies.

Caitlyn Jenner, former Olympic icon revealed her newly claimed gender to the world via the front cover of Vanity Fair on June 30th, 2015. Although speculation of a transition was unethically made by many media outlets throughout the year, nothing was confirmed until the bio released detailing her turbulent effort to transition beginning in the eighties. Once the image of traditional masculinity, identified as the greatest athlete in the

world and a father, Jenner’s courage to live as her true self while excusing the arbitrary labels and an unforgiving, judgmental society was rewarded by the Arthur Ashe Courage award at the Espy’s.

This past year was also marked by some significant kisses that proved Western culture is no longer dismissing the prevalence of homosexuality among the mainstream.

The most passionate and celebratory is that between Abby Wombach and her wife after the Fifa World cup win against Japan. Not only was the kiss completely romantic, rivalling that of Spider Man and Mary Jane it was televised across the United States and Canada and positively (as it should be) responded to by fans.

Another noteworthy smooch, recently took place at a LA Kings, Toronto Maple Leafs game. Traditionally when a kiss cam among fans confronts two males the scenario is turned into a joke, however when the screen featured couple Brad Parr and Andrew Evans the two locked lips making them the first ever samesex couple to do so on NHL kiss cam. As expected the crowd roared in celebration.

On January 24, 2016 the Edmonton Oilers became the first

NHL team to feature pride tape on their sticks. It was used at their annual skills competition at Rexall place. The Edmonton Oilers Community Foundation made a donation to become a founding member in Pride Tape. The purpose of the rainbow coloured tape according to Dr. Kristopher Wells at the University of Alberta, “We’re hoping that Pride Tape will be (an) active and tangible, visible source of support (for) LGBTQ youth to know that they’re welcome, they’re fully included and they can feel safe playing hockey no matter what level.

(Global News)” Members of the hockey community including

Flames president Brian Burke whose passed son Brendan identified as gay are also standing behind this initiative of inclusiveness in the locker room and on the ice.

It appears that the sports community is finally moving in a direction that is inclusive of same sex love, one recognition of PDA at a time. However some significant efforts can still be made by the IOC, such as refusal to host the Olympics in LGBTQ discriminatory countries and proper inclusion of transgender athletes if we desire a world completely accepting of all people including athletes.

HAPPY PRIDE WEEK! -TEAM XAV

16

thursday february fourth, 2016

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