Thinking Aloud Magazine: Oct-Dec 2018

THINKING ALOUD

ISSUE

4 A QUARTERLY MAGAZINE publication of rehoboth dream solid foundation (rdsf)

OCT - DEC 2018

CONTENTS

Cover Photo: Teju “Babyface” Oyelakin (TBF)

Mrs. ‘Yemisi Ayeni Chairperson, Board of NASCON Allied Industries Plc. Non-Executive Director, Stanbic IBTC Pension Managers Ltd.

Mr. Patrick Edebor Editorial/publishing consultant. Owner, Patrick Edebor and Associates.

Mr. Akin Adejuwon Curator, Institute of Cultural Studies, Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife.

Dr. Mrs Olayinka Opadiya Senior Pastor, Every Nation Church Sydney Australia.

Mrs. Abimbola Komolafe Founder/Executive Trustee, Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation.

Rear Admiral (Rtd) Oladeinde Joseph , Chairman, Board of Trustees Pharm. Samson Igbokwe Mrs Roseline Igbokwe Mrs Ronke Osikoya Mrs Ketumi Alasa Pastor (Dr) Joshua Opadiya Dr (Mrs) Yinka Opadiya Mrs Abimbola Komolafe Rear Admiral (Rtd) K O Komolafe

Editor Bimbo Komolafe

Publication & Design Benjamin Eze

Project Manager Tomi Olatunde

Project Team

@2018. Thinking Aloud Magazine, a publication of Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation.

Edison Egere Othniel Komolafe Felix Eguabor

THINKING ALOUD | OCT - DEC 2018

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non -commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

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EDITORIAL

ISSUE

4 OCT - DEC 2018

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t is my pleasure to welcome you to the Q4 - 2018 edition of the Thinking Aloud Magazine. Thinking Aloud is the brand name of Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation’s (RDSF) international initiative for information sharing.

As usual, this edition contains interesting articles in pursuit of our Magazine’s vision and mission to promote, entrench and improve enduring values in our society.

For our cover story in this edition, our production team sat with Teju “Babyface” Oyelakin (TBF) for an interesting and fun-filled interview. TBF is one of Nigeria’s foremost comedians, an actor and host of the TV talk show “Teju Babyface Show”. TBF gives back to the society by mentoring young Nigerians under his Teju Babyface Mentorship Academy. He is lead mentor at the Academy – a platform with a mission to mentor young Nigerians to discover, develop and deploy their talents to solve problems for humanity and achieve success. He is also a United Nations Sustainable Development Goals ambassador for Nigeria, with a focus on decent work and economic growth. He wrote his first book, Secrets of the Streets: 23 Secrets for Achieving Success through Talent in 2016. We believe our readers will enjoy reading this interview and gain some insight into the consistency and hard work he invested into his craft.

Our regular columns offer interesting topics for your reading delight. The “RDSF Success Story” features Dumi, a beneficiary of the RDSF who overcame a hearing disability to qualify as a lawyer. We also share some information about future events that will be held by RDSF in 2019. The Finance Coach shares tips that will help make little enough by focusing on how readers earning low wages can make the most of such earnings.

Our contributor for the Parenting column shares her true-life experience highlighting some valuable lessons for our readers to be successful and effective parents in this age.

The Poetry corner features two beautiful poems by Benny Akinyemi-Finisher and a brief interview with the renowned poet; while the fitness corner shares five tips on how to stay healthy and eat right throughout the festive season.

We would like to receive feedback from our readers on the content and features in this package. Send your comments in response to any of the featured articles to ThinkingAloudPublication@gmail.com. We look forward to hearing from you.

Till then, sit back and have a delightful reading experience. Remember to share the magazine with your loved ones, as there is something interesting in there for everyone.

BIMBO KOMOLAFE Editor

connect with us on social media | thinkingaloudmagazine

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TRUE LIFE STORY OF PARENTING Genesis 1:28: God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.”

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hildren are a natural result of marriage, which God blesses. In the beginning, at Eden, God created marriage, blessed it, and decreed the bearing and raising of children. The role of the parent is a sacred trust from God. This Owner’s Manual has been so distorted over the ages that God, the Author of Marriage, has been largely banished from the 21st-century picture of the family.

We somehow don’t seem to understand that parenting is the number one disease of this age. It is the failure of parenting, of the family, that has led to the breakdown of all cherished values in every society today. All the crimes of youth – from drugs to violent crimes – all stem from the inability of the family to raise wholesome children for the benefit of society and the advancement of the human race. Unless and until families retrace their steps and right this monumental wrong done to our young population, we have our time bomb ticking already.

In this contribution, I wish to share some life lessons about parenting as a means of encouraging a thorough reassessment of the value of true parenting for the benefit of all.

Married for over 30 years, I would describe myself as a happily married, career-driven, wife and mother who enjoys caring for and being with her five children. I have a conviction that I have been a good mother to my children. Many parents would probably feel the same way. But not all parents can claim to be that. The evidence is what we see in society all around us. Now to the story for the moment.

There was the story of a young girl who became defiant and disrespectful at home and in school. She was always reluctant to take orders from her seniors in school and older siblings at home. Whenever she was corrected, she talked back to her parents. She would not wash her clothes unless the family house-helps did it. She consistently picked quarrels and fought with her immediate younger brother. Battles were increasing all around her and the tension in the family was growing.

At a stage, the parents became hard on her. They lectured, yelled at, threatened and punished her to no avail. In fact, it all seemed backfire. One day, their daughter announced that she felt like committing suicide and that her mother in particular hated her. She also said that she felt sure that her parents wished she was more like her siblings. Hearing this broke the parent’s hearts and there and then, they knew that they needed to change their method.

One Sunday, she reported her parents to the head teacher of the youth church who demanded to see her parents after the service. They went for the meeting and discussed all issues relating to the girl. But what struck the parents most was that the teachers again warned that their daughter said that if they did not change their attitude towards her she would commit suicide. Her father responded by telling the teachers privately that the daughter he knew would not attempt such because of the Godly principles they have instilled in her.

THINKING ALOUD | OCT - DEC 2018

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true life story of parenting Her behaviour did not stop them from going back to their Heavenly Father who reassured them that all will be well and that they should change the pattern of bringing this particular child up. They then decided to attend some teachings on children and parenting in church, which helped them immensely. It was then that they began to understand that their daughter needed to be treated differently. Instead of viewing her as defiant and disrespectful (which made them angry all the time), they began to understand her temperament and her needs. She needed more time for transitions and when they gave her a heads up, limits and choices, she became more cooperative.

They also understood that she was very sensitive. She expressed her mother’s anger and disapproval of her behaviour as dislike of her, which hurt her and caused her to hurt them with her angry words and actions. They worked on their relationship with her, doing lots of “heart to heart moments” and deposits as they learnt in church.

Being empathic, setting limits calmly and briefly, were key tools the parents deployed.

It took some years for things to get better and their daughter told them one day that she felt their love for her was genuine. It was hard for her parents not to fall back to their old habits, but they worked at it and continued to talk to one of her siblings who was the mediator among the children for her family. Today, that same girl is a completely changed person for which the parents continue to give glory to God. They are grateful to God for helping them to be the kind of parent they prayed for.

Regard your children for what they are – that is, God-given blessings! “a heritage… reward… a blessing”. The scripture says, Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him, Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.

A child is known by his actions. It is obvious to onlookers.

It is actually a part of your total testimony.

To the glory of God, all their children have grown up now and they have turned out to be a blessing, quiet, polite, respectful, well-behaved and a continual source of joy to the family. Biblical principles are the keys to raising children that will in turn make them act responsibly in public with minimal supervision.

There are the three key things parents should know about children; Child, Action and Conduct.

Proverbs 20:11 - Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right.

A child’s conduct is important to God and should, therefore, be of great importance to parents.

Advice to Parents One thing parents must not do, and that is to believe the ancient saying that it “takes a village” to raise a child.

Absolutely not the “village” around you – often neighbours, colleagues, media, government and the like. These should not be allowed to have significant influence on your children. Otherwise, they will steadily erode the biblical values and truths that you parents are building into them.

It is not wise, or even possible to isolate your children totally from the outside world. But faithfully fulfill your responsibilities as parents by grounding them in the word of God, teaching good morals and helping them with their character formation. With all these, they will be increasingly ready to face the the secular world and be a positive influence rather than becoming victims of worldly value systems.

Expose your children continually to the presence of God that is the principal thing in life. We can do that in a variety of ways, especially by: • Being part of a good, Bible-believing, worshiping church, and teaching your children to love being “in church”.

• Spending devotional time with them personally. Pray and share the word of God with them.

• Letting your home be filled with Christian music. Sing to the Lord with your children. Teach them worship songs.

• Not exasperating your children. Home is not a Marine boot camp! Rigid, harsh parenting will often leads to rebellion rather than the desired results.

• Ministering to them, day after day, in a positive and encouraging way, thus imparting the “training and instruction of our God”.

• Addressing conducts and attitudes that are inappropriate, and instructing them in God’s approach to each character issue. You don’t necessarily need set times of character teaching. It works just fine to seize upon “learning moments” in the midst of their everyday lives.

Once you bring your children up as a knit family, you will have peace all around you. You will also do well to remember the popular word of God that says to bring up the children in the way of the Lord, when they grow up, they will not depart from it. We have witnessed it and still do.

Finally, Bible training is key. You must read and discuss the word of God to your children from age zero to adulthood. | 6 |

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true life story of parenting Things not to forget by “James Feeney”: BABIES • Teach them “no” with loving firmness (not physical).

Some successful parents recommend starting this verbal training at about age six months.

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•

Don’t overly “baby proof” your home. The home is their training ground. Just remove cherished and dangerous items from their way. Children must learn that there are “NOs” in this world.

I can go into a home and tell within just a few minutes if it’s the parents or the children who are in charge in that home! Dads and Moms, you are the adults, you are in charge and accountable to God.

TODDLERS • Lots of consistent training and appropriate discipline are generally needed.

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Self-test: Does my child obey me the first time I ask? If not, there is work to do.

Do it right at this stage and it will be much easier later on. Training and discipline done at this stage will most likely help you not have difficult teens.

Teach them boundaries, and give them much freedom within those boundaries. That teaches independence, but also self-control and respect for authority.

PRESCHOOL AND ELEMENTARY • Continue the trio of training, love, and discipline.

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Don’t conflict discipline.

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Don’t provoke your children. Be fair and just.

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Don’t tempt them to lie — “Did you do that?!!” — when you already know that they did it!

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Don’t make idle threats, such as: “One more time and

openly

with

your

spouse

about

I...”

•

Be consistent. A rule is a rule. Enforce it consistently.

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When you do spank, make it count. Then pray together, look for repentance, then forgive and drop it.

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Don’t compare children openly — “Why don’t you act like...?”

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Don’t belittle them, because “the glory of children are their fathers” (Proverbs 17:6, KJV).

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Don’t nag. You shouldn’t have to nag a well-trained child.

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Don’t keep putting them off. Put down the paper, or close the laptop, and listen to them.

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Spend quality time with them. But don’t let it put your spouse into a secondary place of priority.

In summary, TRAIN them, LOVE them, and DISCIPLINE them as needed. You will have lifelong delight watching your children live out their lives as productive, godly adults.

Work hard at this stage on developing right attitudes and good character.

PRETEENS AND TEENS • Spankings are pretty much over with. Continue to use other forms of discipline (remove privileges, etc.).

SOME FINAL SUGGESTIONS •

Public discipline - It is unwise to spank your child in public. Deal with the transgressions at home.

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Ask yourself, do you believe it is acceptable for children to be loud, running, jumping, and out of control in the house?

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Again, expect obedience the first time, every time, as God does.

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Don’t let children “play” one parent against the other.

Deaconess Roseline Obiageli Igbokwe is a seasoned administrator who worked in the oil and gas industry for almost three decades and has been happily married for a little over that period. Together with her husband, they have successfully raised five children who now live independent lives in different parts of the world.

Deaconess Igbokwe is also a Trustee of the Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation. | 7 |

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the finance coach managing my low income

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his quarter my article will focus on how you can manage better on a low income while working to improve your finances. I also hope the article will address some comments received from readers of this column resident in Nigeria.

“…I love that many people are promoting financial literacy in Nigeria but something missing in the conversation is how Nigerians have external families and dependents at every stage of their lives, that makes basic saving and wealth creation such a struggle….”

I have received some feedback (like the one above) suggesting that financial literacy efforts by finance coaches recommend tips on savings without considering the low income earned by many in this part of the world. My position is that “no matter the level of one’s finances, there is always room for improvement”, and this forms the basis of some of the tips I want to share. To move from one level of financial comfort to another, there must be sacrifices. It is dangerous to accept a low income as an irredeemable or permanent situation by saying “my income is insufficient and, therefore, I cannot improve my financial situation”. This article will discuss the little things that can be done to help people manage their income more prudently. Some avoidable habits can save unnecessary costs, thus freeing up more of your monthly income.

There are also some habits that can be inculcated which can improve your current level of income. The Finance Coach will be sharing 12 simple tips that can be applied to better manage your “low” income.

Many of those who need these tips may not have access to this article, I, therefore, urge readers to share these tips with those who need to know in your immediate circle of influence. You can share in family meetings, religious gatherings and other social events.

1.

Take personal responsibility for your finances. Do not make yourself a liability. Acknowledge that you are personally responsible for your financial circumstances and for improving this. Irrespective of your age, no one owes you anything. We must eliminate the entitlement mentality that is so common among us. This has the tendency to make folks dependent on family members. Knowing no one owes you anything keeps you on your toes and motivates you to work harder and make better choices. Do not live your life with your eyes set on a relative’s purse or financial status.

It is even unsafe to put such reliance on a relative as disappointments from such sources can negatively affect your health.

2. Handle family pressures with wisdom. Discourage impromptu requests from family members except for unavoidable emergencies. What you tolerate grows. Let them know your finances are organised and that you work within a budget. No matter what you earn, there are people around you who believe you are more comfortable than you are or THINKING ALOUD | OCT - DEC 2018

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managing my low income should be and so can spare some money for their use.

Unfortunately, the culture of family members expecting support from the perceived more comfortable relatives will not leave soon. However, you must balance meeting such requests with your personal needs. No one gives what he does not have. There is no need to feel guilty when you cannot immediately meet the demands of less privileged family members. A good approach will be to discourage impromptu requests. If you must assist, you should consider having a budget for requests like this. This guides you and helps you manage such pressures better. Be careful to ask questions and be sure that you are supporting genuine needs. Ensure that welfare support or financial support to family members are not mere handouts but targeted at improving their capacity to earn and empower them to generate income. Be careful to identify and differentiate lazy family members from those with genuine financial burdens.

3. No matter what you earn, put something away as savings. Most people say “how can I save anything when my pay packet is not enough to meet my immediate needs”. The truth is if you are earning 80 per cent of your current pay, you will still find a way to survive. It is important to make some sacrifice to “power” your next level by making some form of savings. Simple budgeting ahead of your next pay goes a long way in helping you to save. Allocating funds to the different classes of bills would be helpful in identifying excesses. Learn to allocate funds to basic expenses like food, transport, utilities, entertainment, miscellaneous and see the window for possible savings.

For example, you are likely to stay within planned budget for telephone costs if you have a target figure for this than if you buy your phone credit as you exhaust it. If you have a budget for your telephone bills, you will not engage in frivolous telephone conversations or mischievous forwarding of text messages and video clips. One area of possible savings for folks in Nigeria is in the area of data costs. Some might say it is not a significant cost, but every kobo counts. Many people who struggle to save are in the category of those who spend without a plan. Savings options include the popular “Ajo/esusu”, cooperative savings and target savings schemes. Another way to save is from unexpected financial bonuses and gifts.

Instead of applying all of a bonus or gift to longstanding desires, a percentage can be saved.

4. Cut your coat according to your cloth. I have noticed that most people come under financial pressures from expenses above their income levels. For instance, financial decisions relating to rent and child education.

People are encouraged to put their wards in schools they can afford and also take apartments they can afford. This might be an uncomfortable but necessary

sacrifice to move to the next level. It is also important not to follow the Joneses but to buy only what you need. There is no point buying expensive telephone sets with sophisticated facilities, which you will not use. Such purchases mean you are tying down funds that can be put to better use.

5. Get the best value for your 24 hours. My advice is that you get the best pay out of the utilization of your work hours. Try and avoid inadequate compensation for your time and labour. This means you should seek and commit to the employment that pays you the most out of your available options. For instance, if working on a building site as a daily paid labourer will earn you more money than sitting in an office as an office boy or a driver, by all means, go for it. It may also be more profitable to be a farmer than staying in the city to do lower paid office jobs. Where possible, combine two or more options to make the most of the available working hours in a day.

6. Make more money! Seek multiple streams of income.

For most people in Nigeria, one income stream is not enough; hence the recommendation to have more than one source of income. There is a better chance of coping with financial responsibilities and pressures when you earn from more than one source. Couples should both earn money for the family. Assets owned can be deployed to earn revenue. A lady in a paid employment registered her car with Uber and switches on the app on the way to work and after work. She also switches it on when free at weekends. This extra income goes a long way in meeting some of her needs, and she is able to save and improve on her current level. A young university graduate I know runs a photography/video service but also registered his personal car for Uber services. While the photography business keeps him busy at weekends, he switches on the Uber app during the week.

7. Improve your skills, education and certification. It is important not to remain at the level of competence you were hired at. Your job is more secure, and you are a candidate for promotion if you demonstrate to your employer that you have invested in self-development.

You also make yourself more marketable in the job market. Be eager to learn new skills outside your immediate area of responsibility. Make an effort to harness other skills to add to the single income stream or whatever you do. For example, do you work in a salon as a hair stylist? You can learn nail care, makeup skills in between assignments. This way, you can offer more than one service and become more valuable to your employer. Such skills are also available for you to render outside work hours. Money earned from such hard work will contribute to improving your financial | 9 |

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managing my low income status if well saved and not spent on frivolous things.

8. Don’t accept a job if the salary won’t cover your expenses. Do not accept just any job. It gives you the false impression that you have a job and restricts your desire to get an adequately paying job. It is better to channel one’s physical energy to earn more as a labourer than be a dignified office worker in “shirt and tie” earning poorly. Recently, I was in a friend’s car and she wanted me to help counsel her driver who was constantly broke. Upon interrogation, I discovered the driver earns 35k with a wife and four children. The enormity of the financial pressures from home and the “helplessness” of his situation resulted in momentary outburst of tears. I analysed his situation and discovered his full-time job does not provide him with a reasonable pay to meet his family needs. My suggestion to people in this category is to seek temporary alternative jobs that will earn them more money, even if it is a daily paid job on a building construction site. This will earn him some respite until he can find a reasonably paid job.

9. More than anything else, stay healthy. Most people in the employment of private companies and individuals do not have a medical insurance cover or allowances.

Consequently, in the event of illnesses, such people have to fund their medical costs. The safest way to avoid such expenses is to make the right choices to stay healthy. Eat right, exercise right and rest well. If you have been placed on regular medications to manage an on-going ailment (diabetes, high blood pressure etc.), ensure you always have enough and do not stop these without a doctor’s approval. This may just result in being penny-wise, pound-foolish. In the event of occasional health breakdown, seek the attention of a proper doctor and not quack doctors or nurses. The cheapest medical option is to seek timely attention from government hospitals.

10. Family planning. Gone are the days when your wealth was measured by the number of children you had.

These days, even the wealthy are very careful about the number of children they have. Reasonable spacing is also important for the financial and physical well being of the parents. It is cheaper to visit a hospital for a family planning session than to birth children that become heavy financial liabilities.

11. Preserve your business brand. Do you own a business that renders services? You earn more when you keep your commitments, and you lose money when your clients cannot rely on you. Be conscious of delivering when you promise to and at the right quality. You are the best advert for your service or product. Once you deliver on your promise, the word is spread that you

don’t fail on your commitments and people will seek you out. On the contrary, when you fail to deliver as promised, your clients also help you spread the news reducing your patronage. Everyone wants a service provider who will give good value for the money paid.

12. Understand that Time is Money. It is often said that time is money, but money is also time. Understand that your pay at the end of a period is tied to the working hours in that period. This requires that you spend with care bearing in mind the number of work hours behind every amount spent. A man in paid employment who earns say, #90,000:00 a month, earns about #3,000:00 a day. So if such a man, out of impulse, buys an item he does not necessarily need for #6,000, he has thrown away two days of his thirty hard working days.

Unfortunately, since he is in paid employment, the wasted two days will not be reimbursed till another payday. When a man keeps this in mind all the time, when spending, he will likely be more careful not to spend his money on frivolous things.

The above points are not exhaustive, and I recommend that people should seek financial advice as often as possible. There are many free services available from experts.

Bimbo Komolafe FCA, FCIB writes from Lagos. She has over thirty years’ experience in finance and business and has a passion for seeing people succeed in managing their finances.

For more Financial tips from the finance coach follow her on: Instagram - @financecoachtoday Twitter - @financecoachbk Blog - www.financecoachbk.blogspot.com.ng

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generation next too young to understand, but she did, and so she gripped her mother’s hand in hope she would realise Chidi understood her frustration. In silence, Chidi’s eyes wandered to the fish tank, her mind consumed with thoughts of the sea and the little tadpole.

Heavy footsteps preceded a soft face and an even softer voice; “And I assume you’ll be back for your next round of chemotherapy next week? Doctor Onyeka looked expectantly at Stella, a sympathetic smile on his face as he awaited her reply.

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ntent on observing the tadpoles that swam with agility and speed, she stubbornly pushed back the onyx coils that sprung from her head.

The water rippled in tendrils as Chidi stared closely.

Once again her onyx kinks sprung precariously from her head before dropping right before her eyes. Without hesitation, she flung them back, intent on maintaining her laser-like focus on the fish tank. The tadpoles swam with an agility and speed that pushed Chidi closer to the edge.

In child-like wonder she rose onto the tip of her toes and pressed her nose firmly against the cold glass, wishing with all her might that she too could be like the tadpoles.

She wanted to swim through the sea with elegance, feel the water spray against her skin when she dived into open air, and eat all the food she wanted, but alas, she looked down at her feet before gazing sadly at the tadpole. With her nose still firmly pressed against the glass, she let out a downbeat sigh. She would never be able to.

“Chidima Agu, move away from the glass this instance!”

Wobbling from the sudden outburst, Chidi struggled to regain balance, but found herself being abruptly pulled from the large fish tank. Before she could open her mouth, she found herself firmly planted next to her mother who held onto Chidi’s small wrist in hopes of keeping her rooted. Chidi tried to wiggle away, back to her fish friend in the water, but her mother wouldn’t allow it, not again.

“Chidinma we have to go, now is not the time for your games, please” Stress marred Stella's features as a frown, and the wrinkles under her eyes seemed to add years to her once youthful face. Chidi was considered THINKING ALOUD | OCT - DEC 2018

“Oh, yes... yes, I’ll be back next week”. Her words were laced with fatigue, and Chidi noticed but her young mind couldn’t comprehend the reason behind it, or the meaning of chemotherapy; It sounded more like a cool alien word to her. Wrapping her scarf tightly around her, Chidi, cast one last longing glance towards the fish tank before following her mother out into the fresh snow.

“Wait... Just one moment” Doctor Onyeka briskly followed Stella out the door and gently held the crook of her elbow.

“Stella, are you sure you want to do this alone? Is there no one you can bring, for moral support?” His eyes scanned over her with a fatherly concern.

“No, no it’s fine, I can do this, I have to” She attempted to smile but doctor Onyeka's words struck a chord in her. She had cancer. She was alone.

Thanking the doctor for his concern, she grabbed Chidi's hand and continued towards the car with stiff movements. Chidi looked up at the woman she saw as everything and wanted nothing more than to put a smile on her face.

“Mummy?”

“Yes sunshine?”

“Mr Onyeka was wrong.”

Stella chuckled in disbelief and looked at Chidi.

“What do you mean?”

“He was wrong mummy. You have me, I’ll always be here for you, forever and ever and ever!”

Time seemed to stand still as Stella looked down at her daughter. Affection bubbled through her as she scooped Chidi into a bear hug, burying her tear-stained face into her Onyx kinks. Stella knew in that moment that her mini-me was the reason she had to survive this breast cancer. There was no other option. Chidi squealed in delight, oblivious to the woes of her mother, but all the happier to help.

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inspiring personality

INSPIRING PERSONALITY Interview with Teju “Babyface” Oyelakin (TBF), one of Nigeria’s foremost comedians, an actor and now a talk show host. He is lead mentor at the Teju Babyface Mentorship Academy – a platform with a mission to guide young Nigerians to discover, develop and deploy their talents to attain success and help solve the problems of society. TBF is a first-book author of Secrets of the Streets: 23 Secrets for Achieving Success through Talent (2016). | 13 |

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THE TEJU OYELAKIN INTERVIEW TA production team members, Felix and Othniel, sat with Teju “Babyface” Oyelakin (TBF), for an interesting interview, which is laced with humour and laughter.

TBF shares some life lessons as he speaks on diverse issues, including the challenges of being an entrepreneur in the Nigerian environment, social media impact in the entertainment industry, the importance of having role models and mentors to achieve success, sticking to one’s choice of career when faced with parental opposition, growing his brand and, of course, his latest project, the Teju Babyface Mentorship Academy.

TA: Thank you for taking the time to sit with us today.

TBF: Yes sir!

TA: What are your full names and how did you come about the stage name “Babyface”?

TBF: Well, my name is, as it appears on the cover of the book, Teju Oyelakin. There’s just a long middle name somewhere in there, good luck to you trying to spell it – Gbadewonuola. You already know how I came about “Babyface” if you’ve read my book as you claim (laughs). It was Tee-A’s wife, his girlfriend at the time, who said Babyface was the most obvious and apt choice because we were struggling for a name. I just wanted to go with my own name, but people really couldn’t pronounce Teju very well, even Yoruba people! So we decided to add Babyface. Who knew that I would still be looking like this after all these years ... Turns out we were right, I think!

TA: What is a regular day like for you?

THINKING ALOUD | OCT - DEC 2018

TA: As an entrepreneur, how do you stay focused?

And what would you say is the most difficult aspect of running a business in Nigeria?

TBF: Nigeria is the most difficult aspect of running a business in Nigeria. Nigeria itself! Nigeria! Nigeria!

It is as if – ; it is as if they – hmm … It is hard! It is as if they want you to fail! It is as if Nigeria itself wants you to fail! It is unbelievable! I was talking to someone older recently. He said, if I remember the part in the Bible where Moses sent 12 spies to go and check out the promised land, and they came back to report that it was a nice land o, ehen! But that it was a land that devours the inhabitants! The person said that he was sure, that somehow, perhaps by mistake, that it was Nigeria that they went to! And that’s the definition of Nigeria. A good place, nice place, a land flowing with milk and honey but a land that devours its inhabitants. This place can be so challenging to do anything in. But, there is a rich vein of success that if you tap into – oh! It’s probably the best place to be!

But ko to tap in (before you tap in) ... hmm … the Yoruba’s say it this way, they say that e nu kiniun l’owo wa!(money is to be found in the mouth of the lion. In other words, you have to price open the mouth of the lion literaly in Nigeria to get money).

TA: How did your parents and family react to your choice of a career in the early stages?

TBF: Most of the time I get to hang out in my home office, so … like before you came just now, I was on the couch watching something on TV, after that I would have probably fallen asleep, hope to catch 40 wings and then after that go to the office to scream at them a bit. You know – to keep them honest. Then come back and check my mail. But earlier in the day I had gone to the studio, to set up my recording for later in the week; so it really depends on the day.

There are some days when I’m just loafing around, and other days when from dusk till dawn it’s one thing after another.

TA: How much influence would you background had in your career choice?

TBF: Ah! That one is hard o! Because my parents didn’t want me to be an entertainer at all at all. So, there’s that. But, on the other hand, my love for African music and certain things that play out in the way I do my things probably had to do with my background. People ask me how I know all the music that I know, all the African music that I know. And it was my background, so there is that one thing. Then there are some people who say that you seem to be very Christian in the way you carry yourself, so that ’s the background thing again.

say

your

TBF: (Laughs!) That should tell you everything. Of course, my siblings were cool [with it]. I mean who does not want to have a brother on TV that everybody says “I saw your brother” “I saw your brother”.

My mom too wasn’t really worried. Again, who doesn’t want to have a famous son? But my father was a different proposition altogether! And that was because my father was successful. He was successful and popular in his own circle, and again you have to remember that entertainment then was not what it is now. So the prospects for an entertainer were bleak.

My father could not see how anybody could make a living or how anybody could be great through entertainment. | 14 |

inspiring personality

“I am yet to attain my greatest achievement (laughs). But we are always proud of the fact that we were able to get the Teju Babyface show up and going”

TA: Respected

TA: Self-sustainability.

TBF: That’s the word! Respected, substantial, great.

In fact, to make it worse, you do not even want to be just any type of entertainer, not a singer, you want to be a comedian! His own parallel for drawing that were the slapstick comedians he saw on TV who made him laugh but also made him go like, “these guys are foolish”! So, of course, he did not find it funny.

TBF: Yes! When he saw that I bought a car, then I bought a second car, then you know, I moved out of the house, his friends started to tell him that they saw me on TV and I was doing well … we would go out and people would ask me for photos … then he was like ok! Maybe this thing will work.

TA: How did you end up convincing him?

TBF: Ah! I did not convince o. I just kept doing what I was doing in the hopes that he would end up seeing that this was worth it. And that was what happened.

The end justifies the means. This is probably a good thing, for anybody reading this who wants to do something that his or her parents are less than comfortable with. If at the end of the day you are not a success at it then you have only wasted their investment and your time.

TA: Most people say (the parents) start to come around when you are able to monetize your talent.

TBF: Well that’s the thing. Like I said, my father was successful so it was not money. He started to come around when he saw the money – but not money I was giving him, the money in my own life.

TA: What would you say has been your greatest achievement in the entertainment industry?

TBF: That is such an arrogant question… how do I answer that now? My greatest achievement … I am yet to attain my greatest achievement (laughs). But we are always proud of the fact that we were able to get the Teju Babyface show up and going. Sometimes I look back at some of the things we have done and I have no idea how we were able to do some of them. I am also rather thankful to God that I was able to discover the writing part of me. So I’m work in progress. Let us just hope that we can continue to do great things.

TA: You seem to always have on a bow tie. What is the history of your love for the bow-tie?

TBF: It was Olisa Agbakoba, a Senior Advocate of Nigeria and Former President of the Nigerian Bar | 15 |

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Association. We were at a party in Hakeem BeloOsagie’s house years ago. And when I say party, it makes it seem like I was invited (laughs). I was not.

They employed me to come and make them laugh! I happened to have sat at the same table with Olisa and his wife. During one of the breaks, we got talking and he said that he liked me, in fact, the way he put it was “regulation”. That I had to “regulate” my brand and every time they saw me out I had to be wearing a bow tie, was what he specifically said. Shortly after that, I took it literally.

TA: Do you think that actually had an effect on the Teju Babyface brand?

TBF: You are asking aren’t you? (laughs) So that means that it worked right? I mean … it worked to the degree that you noticed it! The thing is that I have changed again, I do not wear only bow ties again, and it is broad now. The general thing when people see me now is they expect to see me dressed in suit and tie in one form or the other. They would not expect me to see me wearing jeans, trainers and a tshirt.

TA: What was your inspiration for the Teju Babyface Show?

TBF: Hunger! Hunger and broke-ness! Nothing like hunger to help you discover your talent! Seriously, I was tired of how my career was going at that time. As a comedian, I had always felt my efforts were not appreciated, as they ought to be. I felt like I was getting less than I was putting in. What that suggested to me was that doing stand-up was not the best use or expression of my talent. There had to be a greater expression. So, somebody suggested doing a show; he mentioned a few American shows and that got me thinking. And that was how the Teju Babyface show came about.

TA: So it was not like you were already paying attention to the foreign scene…

TBF: (Interrupts) Oh I was!

TA: What is your advice to other colleagues in the entertainment industry TBF: Well it is funny because I also am trying to get a hang of the social media thing. I mean, I just do not get it, I can be conventional and I can be conservative. Take twitter, for example. I do not understand why it works. I probably understand how it works, but if everybody was like me twitter will probably never… You just can’t be talking about any issue; any THINKING ALOUD | OCT - DEC 2018

issue that arises you just talk. I mean King Solomon said look stop putting your foot in your mouth, you talk too much, sometimes even a fool is thought to be wise if he would just keep quiet. I just don’t get the hang of it.

I am not condemning it, what I am saying is I struggle to understand it. Must you talk? Is every issue your issue? So I just do not get that. Then there is the whole Instagram thing and a younger comedian was telling me recently: “Ah baba, what people like on social media and Instagram now is crazy, for you to be a fool!” [stops abruptly] “And And how can I do that?” So a few years later my children will now see their father being a fool? And children are smart; it is their mates in school that would say, “see your father!”

TA: But it applies all round though, for instance, actors like Mr Ibu, it is the same effect for them.

TBF: Those guys are my brothers, and I mean all kudos to them, but my advice for social media is you have to be disciplined and disciplined with focus because what I do on social media is not in the first or the highest percentile of the kind of thing that would get people followers. I mean we have people who started after me, people whose brand equity (in all humility) is not anywhere close to being as strong as mine but they have five times the number of followers that I have on Instagram. I have come to understand that it is not in the number of followers as shocking as that would sound.

A mentor once told me that if you have fifty thousand people anywhere in the world, fifty thousand committed followers; you are a force. Can you imagine if you had fifty thousand people who were really committed to you and you told to meet on Third Mainland [Bridge] in the morning, Lagos would stop now. So, it is not in the number of followers, it is in the engagement. My advice to other people who might be on social media is “find your thing”. No matter how unpopular it might seem to you, there are people who need what you have; just find your thing and stay with it. Stop looking for what would get you more followers.

TA: How would you say one can go about staying relevant in the industry, how would you advise people to go about staying relevant?

TBF: Find mentors. You need to have a mentor; you need people who counsel you and people with whom you counsel. I was at a Guaranty Trust Bank reading event yesterday, and I was reading alongside Lanre Olusola the catalyst, and I found it funny that I had come to the point where people were calling me to | 16 |

inspiring personality

“There is nothing new, what has been, is and will always be. The stream goes into the river and the river returns back into the stream.”

come and be a thought leader not to come and do comedy. Then, I remember that in the beginning when I started to get that feeling that I was being called away from doing just comedy to come and start doing something else along the lines of motivation, inspiration, thought leadership and mentoring. I remember that the challenge for me was that I am a comedian. How do you expect people to take me serious? Which comedian do I know that people call to come and inspire people? But I had a mentor who was able to take me through the process, so for anybody who wants to stay relevant and stay on track with their destiny and their careers, you need mentorship. First of all, you must always identify what your next level is, then you need to find someone on that level who will help you through that process.

TA: Would you say that today’s generation of creative minds are better or worse off than your generation, based on your knowledge of the system and struggles you had to overcome?

TBF: There is nothing new, what has been, is and will always be. The stream goes into the river and the river returns back into the stream. It is neither here nor there. It does not matter, the generation before or the generation after, we live life as we live it at that moment. I mean, we were not cognisant of seeing how things were done thirty, forty years ago and we

will not be around forever; so I can only judge for the moment – we are alive, and life goes on so we must be doing something right; I really do not judge. If you asked my parents’ generation, I am sure they would have written my generation off and said we do not know what we are doing. Now we are saying the same thing about the younger people, when the younger people grow up they too will be saying the same thing about their own children. Ah, come on, there is nothing new under the sun.

TA: Could you tell us about the TBF mentorship academy, what is the history is behind it and how do you run the mentorship programme?

TBF: Ok well, it is still in its nascent stage; we are still trying to figure many things about it. We are still trying to figure it out. But what is clear is that it is what we must do. What we have right now is an online platform – Facebook, YouTube – but we are working towards where we can begin to meet even if it is just once a month. We are working on a faculty and still trying to put it together. If we were to have this interview in another six months, I will be able to give you a more concrete answer to this question, but because we are creators what we are doing has not existed before so we are having to build it as we go.

That is the beauty of being a creator, by the time we create and have a form, then others can build on the | 17 |

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model that we have paid to build, so ask me that question in about circa six months.

TA: You mentioned role models. Who are your role models and what roles did mentoring play in your life?

TBF: Well my mentors are Sam Adeyemi, Leke Alder and Olakunle Soriyan, and without mentors, I just cannot tell you. You can count, see Leke Alder’s books [pointing to his library]. That whole section is dedicated to Leke Alder, yes that whole section! I mean what mentoring has done for me, I cannot even begin to tell you. Pastor Sam for me is more on TV than books, so if I were to open my PVR and my recordings then you would see Sam Adeyemi countless times. I cannot tell you how much my mentors have gotten me out of near depression, they may have not even known this but just by picking up their CDs or reading their books or watching them online is just amazing.

TA: What inspired you to write the book?

TBF: Well, I keep finding that there is a lot more to me as a person. I found out a few years ago that I was supposed to be a writer, so I put pen to paper and I realized I could actually write. You have only seen the first of me; you have only seen the first of many. I cannot wait for peoples’ reaction when they see my second book; I just cannot wait for the reactions like “ahn ahn, wetin oh boy na wa oh, you just dey write ” I just cannot wait. The take away is – look, your life is like an onion, and you peel back layers; the more layers you peel off an onion the smaller the onion gets so you are supposed to peel off layers of yourself as you grow older because the older you get, the less time you have. You are supposed to keep peeling; when your time has come, and you come to the centre of the onion, you must have given so much to the earth that you actually die with nothing left. You have done your job, so keep peeling back layers of yourself.

TA: Many up coming comedians aspire to be in the entertainment industry and believe it is an easy route to becoming rich, what advise do you have?

TA: How would you advise a person to go about seeking mentorship in a country like Nigeria?

TBF: (Laughs) could you say that again? I just wanted to be clear that is what you said before. An easy route to become rich? Let us say at this point in time there are…. okay I would give you a test. Name ten rich Nigerian musicians; let us go with music?

TBF: Buy them a gift; buy them a good gift. A gift would always open the door for you. I was not the one who said it, King Solomon said it, if you want to see an important person take a gift to them; it is actually in the Bible.

TA [proceeds to name a few] Let us even put it at twenty, for those successful twenty, there are twenty thousand who are not. Not twenty thousand aspiring, twenty thousand that have released music oh, their CDs are there in the market.

You just do not know them. Here you are struggling to name just ten rich Nigerian musicians. Where are people getting this idea from that being in the entertainment industry is going to make you easily rich? Where did you come up with that idea?

Ha-ha, I wish you luck… easily rich ko! Even when you make it with one single, the way the pace is today you release a single today they dance to it, next month it is done. It is done, and you are forgotten!

Last year’s hit songs are no longer big this year, and we are only in March.

I listen to some songs that we just released how many years ago, and I say so this one now na old school now? I mean so how is that easy? It is so dynamic; this is why you must find your own lane. Okay, what do I have to release now to be under pressure? Is it that I would have to release another book because there are too many books? Is it that I have to be under pressure because there are so many TV shows, so find your own lane!

TA: Talking team strategy: How does one go about assembling a team without being able to offer a salary or anything of that sort?

THINKING ALOUD | OCT - DEC 2018

TBF: That is a good question, I was writing something not quite seventy-two hours ago, so let me just bring it up and read it to you Yes! “Now if you are anything like me, you are almost discouraged when you hear building a team, it sounds like so much work and effort that you do not have the resources to bring about, you are probably seeing images of some high powered people in a room around the boardroom table, having a team. That is not what I mean! When I say build a team, I am not referring to a group of people that meet together at any point in time, they do not even have to know themselves, so when you say build a team, stop thinking about some team where you meet at a hotel, and you sit down and have tea and cucumber sandwiches then you bring out the PowerPoint. Just have people you can talk to, people who believe in you and usually have vested interest in you. If you are married, start with your spouse, and then you should have a lawyer, a personal lawyer. Start with people | 18 |

inspiring personality who believe in you, people you can talk to, and like I said, they do not even have to know each other, they do not always have to meet although it is always good for them to meet at some point when you have active projects. Have people around you, you know your best friend, have people who like and support you, that is what it means to have a team.

person who does not learn, that is who I pity. It is not only reading; reading is good but if reading is not your thing then watch or listen but be in a constant state of learning. Although, widely I have found that it is good to have some reading, even if you do not like reading, read a little.

TA: How did you handle early fame? What lessons did you learn?

TA: Reading and self-reflection: what role would you say this has played in the level of success you have attained?

TBF: Well, my thing is reading is not the only source of knowledge, it is not that you should not read. The point is you must learn. Not everybody reads; some people are dyslexic from what I have been told and the way they are wired, words swim in front of their eyes. So, not everybody is wired to learn by reading; some people like to listen, some like to watch, some others like to attend and experience, while some like to read and some have the gift of “all of the above” but it does not matter.

The issue is that you must always learn. It is when you stop learning, as I have heard it said, that you start dying. You do not know nearly enough to stop learning at any point in time; you have to keep on learning. The world is moving very fast; your knowledge of two years ago is becoming out-dated.

Now, for example, this social media that you speak about, I have heard it from good authority that we are just in the early stages of what this thing is going to become. In two years it might have changed so much that even you might not recognize where we are right now; so we must always keep on learning. I pity the

TBF: By chasing a lot of girls. Do not let me lie about that one, you are right. I became famous when I was twenty that is when “Diamond Ring” the movie came out. I was twenty years old and I did what twentyyear-old boys do with fame – I dated plenty girls and umm... my father used to say in Yoruba, “Ni igba ara la nbura, eni nkan on bu sango lerun”. It is in my book. Literally translated, it means that no matter how devout a worshiper of Sango is, the god of thunder does not answer in the dry season. In other words, it means there is a time for everything.

I was lucky that I was popular early enough in my twenties, an age when twenty-year-old men were supposed to be foolish, and I was abundantly foolish, but I was also lucky that I got a third and often a fourth or fifth chance to, you know, ... get my life on track.

Now I am in my late thirties, I cannot now do what I did in my twenties. Always gauge where you are in life, always take stock of your own life, which is why somebody in the Bible said, “Teach us how to number our days so that we can apply our hearts to wisdom”.

Your gift and your money or your fame, in the end, is supposed to be a resource to make life better for everybody actually.

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REHOBOTH DREAM SOLID FOUNDATION (RDSF) 2019 EVENTS

We

wish to express our deepest gratitude to everyone who has participated in our 2018 programmes to make it a success. We are indeed delighted and grateful for your overwhelming support in 2018 and prior years. Your kind gestures have ensured the sustenance of our mission which is to engage in charitable activities that will advance the social and economic well -being of the less privileged, through education support, mentoring and skill acquisition.

In 2019, we plan to continue the various programs we initiated this year and also expand our activities to reach out to more indigent Nigerians. It is our hope and belief that these planned events will enhance value creation in the short, medium and long-term.

Education Support Programme This programme is our medium for providing sustainable education support to our beneficiaries. We do this through scholarship awards that span the duration of our beneficiaries ’ academic training. Over 150 indigent students have benefited from the scheme, and applications are treated on a case -by-case basis. In 2016, we expanded this programme by partnering with tertiary institutions within the country thereby increasing the number of beneficiaries of the programme substantially. We will be engaging more tertiary institutions in 2019 but students from other institutions not scheduled for such visits can apply through the application window. Please see advert section for application details.

Skills Acquisition and Mentoring Programme This program was established and designed to teach soft skills channelled towards entrepreneurial and career success using practical and top-notch follow-up approach. It aims to empower poor youths and undergraduates with relevant ICT and soft skills to prepare them for their chosen career paths and also create an avenue for experienced and trusted advisers to use their wealth of experience to guide them. In 2019, we will be expanding this scheme by collaborating with human resource experts and tertiary Institutions on a quarterly basis.

Annual Lecture The maiden edition of the Lecture was held this year. Its basic objective is to provide a platform for informed debate, independent analysis and new policy ideas on issues that will contribute significantly to the improvement of access to quality public education in Nigeria and provide vital feedback to relevant stakeholders. We also use the opportunity to showcase our achievements and success stories of beneficiaries over a period of time. We hope to improve on the quality of this event in 2019 and the years to come. | 21 |

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rdsf updates 2019 RDSF Teachers’ Excellence Award The aim of this award is to encourage teachers in the public education sector who have contributed significantly to improving access to quality education in Nigeria. This first award took place at the maiden edition of the annual lecture in August 2018. It had a cash benefit of N250, 000 but was limited to teachers in Eti -Osa local government area of Lagos State. In 2019, the scope of the award will be expanded to accommodate larger participation.

Ways to partner with the Foundation 1. One-Time Donation You can give one-time donation through a transfer to the Foundation's account 2. Pledge Sponsors can also make a pledge to give some money to the Foundation on a regular basis (weekly, monthly, quarterly, biannually or annually). Such sponsor will just send an email with details of the pledge and credit the Foundation's account accordingly.

3. Adopt a student scheme Under this scheme, the prospective sponsor will work with the Foundation to identify an indigent student who will be adopted and sponsored for the full length of their academic programmes. The sponsor can choose to be anonymous or meet the beneficiary. The sponsor will be provided with a periodic statement of the beneficiary's academic performance.

4. Sponsor a Workshop/Training/ Event Sponsors can also choose to sponsor any of our annual events like the Annual Lecture and Teachers ’ Excellence Award or support the skills acquisition programme organized for indigent undergraduates to equip them with relevant ICT and soft skills

2019/2020 academic scholarship session Application opens 10th January 2019 Application closes 31st January 2019 Visit our website www.rehobothdreamsolidfoundation.org to download application form For new applicants only!

Charity to the less priviledged

Skills Acquisition programmes

THINKING ALOUD | OCT - DEC 2018

Raise funds for the needy | 22 |

Supporting the poor

rdsf updates RDSF TESTIMONIES The Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation has offered assistance to numerous Nigerian students from 2011 to date. The testimonies below are from some of the students who have received financial and mentoring support. The testimonies speak for themselves and are a pointer to the fact that ‘a little help can make a big difference’.

By Emmanuel Abiodun Adeoye Graduate of Biochemistry from Olabisi Onabanjo University.

I want to really extend my sincere appreciation to the management of Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation for their noble contributions towards my education. I concluded my Bachelors Degree in Biochemistry at Olabisi Onabanjo University in 2015. I am so much elated and very grateful to the foundation for all their efforts. Moreso, I would be ecstatic, if given the opportunity to serve the foundation in whatever capacity, because they have played such a fundamental role in my education. Thank you and God bless you all.

By Omolola Helen Graduate of Accounting University of Technology.

from

Ladoke

Akintola

There was a time when I was so lost in thought, almost giving up on myself. I had big dreams but had it so tough channelling my effort to its fulfilment. My life had so much potential for greatness, yet my hands were empty; I was entangled by so much financial limitations. Until when God ordered my steps to 'Rehoboth Dreams Solid Foundation' where my dream was rekindled. RDSF gave me hope when I was hopeless and helpless. I was in the Department of Accounting with a Cummulative Grade Point Average of 3.79 (Second Class Upper), in the Prestigous THINKING ALOUD | OCT - DEC 2018

Ladoke akintola University of Technology. I now see myself in the realm of Greatness. Of a truth, there is nothing more beautiful than someone who goes out of their way to make life beautiful for others. Thank you RDSF.

By Seun Adegbie BTech (Hons) Computer Engineering, Second Class upper Division from Ladoke Akintola University of Technology, Ogbomoso.

Education is the difference between being wise and being foolish. But for the God sent help of my sponsors, I would be languishing in the torment of the latter. Right from my secondary school education up until my graduation from the University, I received complete and wholesome support from my sponsors. The beautiful thing about this support was that it was totally all encompassing. From full financial support to timely advice and encouragement, I had all I needed to be educated. Not just that, but the homely and family driven support I received boosted my ability to settling down with my studies without having to bother myself with domestic challenges. I concluded that God does not need to come down from heaven to answer our prayers.

Instead, He sends faithful men and women to make impact in our lives. In my case, He sent my able sponsors to make a lasting impact in my life.

By Irabor, Godwin Osalumhense "BEng (Hons) Production Engineering, Industrial Engineering, Distinction from University of Benin.

M

Eng.

I cannot begin to quantify the extent of help and support I have received from my sponsors. They have been of tremendous assistance. From the process of seeking admission into the university, to the point of graduating with a First Class Honours in Production Engineering and obtaining a Master's Degree in Industrial Engineering, they have stood by me with financial and moral support. When the going was really tough, they were worthy supporters.

The story of my life would not be complete without them. With the help received from my Sponsors, I successfully completed my First degree and was thereafter employed by my University. was able to sponsor myself for my Masters program and also assist with my siblings’ education. The foundation has been laid for a good life for my family and I. With my first degree, I bade farewell to poverty and am determined that no one in my family will suffer poverty from lack of education. All I can say at this point is ‘thank you’ and ‘thank you’ again. | 23 |

PERSONAL INFORMATION: Title:_______________ First Name:__________________________________________________________________ Last Name:________________________________________________________________________________________ Occupation:________________________________________________________________________________________ Address:___________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Email Address:____________________________________________________________________________________ Telephone number:_______________________________________________________________________________

Please tick your preferred option and notify RDSF using the contact details below: ADOPT A STUDENT SCHEME: Under this scheme, the prospective sponsor will work with the Foundation to identify an indigent student who will be adopted and sponsored for the full academic program. The sponsor can choose to be anonymous or decide to meet the beneficiary. Under this scheme, the sponsor will be provided with periodic updates of the beneficiary’s academic performance.

DONATE BY CHEQUE: Please complete this form, and include a signed cheque payable to “Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation”.

STANDING ORDER / PERIODIC DONATION: You can make periodic donations by instructing your bank to make regular transfers using the bank details below. Please add the transfer reference ‘RDSFTA2018’.

ONE-OFF DONATION: You can make a one-off donation by direct bank transfer using the bank details below.

Please add the transfer reference ‘RDSFTA2018’.

Account name: Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation Bank: First Bank Nigeria Account Number: 2015884815 Sort Code: 011152442

CONTACT US: Please contact us for any assistance or additional information to aid your sponsorship or donation.

Phone: Call RDSF on +2348079407057 Email: Scan and send the completed form to rehobothdream@gmail.com Post: Return the completed form to P O Box 51843, Falomo-Lagos, Nigeria.

THINKING ALOUD | OCT - DEC 2018

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rdsf board of trustees

the rehoboth dream solid foundation board of trustees Rear Admiral Oladeinde (‘Deinde) Olusoga Joseph was born at Ara-Moko, Ekiti State into the humble family of late Mr. Joseph Owolabi and late Mrs. Ajibabi Owolabi on the 9th of May 1948.

He enlisted into the Nigerian Navy in July 1967 and later graduated from the Nigerian Defence Academy Kaduna and was commissioned as a Sub -Lieutenant in July 1971 in India. He received professional training as a naval officer in India, United Kingdom and the United States of America. Rear Admiral Joseph is a graduate of the Nigeria Command and Staff College Jaji and the prestigious National Institute for Policy and Strategic Studies Kuru.

As a professional naval officer, he went through all the ranks in the Navy until he was promoted to the full Rear Admiral rank in 1998. While in the Navy, he had 4 sea commands, which included that of NNS Aradu (the Navy’s flag ship), 2 Training bases and 2 Operational bases. He had 2 tours at Jaji Staff College as Chief Instructor and Director of the Naval Faculty. He was also the Military Governor of Ogun State between 1990 and 1992. His last job was Chief of Navy Personnel at Naval Headquarters until he retired in June 1999.

Married to Mrs. Katherine Lolade Joseph since April 1975, Rear Admiral ‘Deinde Joseph is blessed with 3 children; Toyin (now Mrs. Borisade), and the boys Seyi and Jide, all University graduates. His hobbies are photography, reading and he is a handicap 9 golfer. A practicing Christian of Methodist Church of the Trinity, Tinubu since 1967, he has a passion to help the less privileged in the society.

Rear Admiral Joseph is a recipient of the National Honour of the Commander of the Order Of the Niger (CON), and brings his experience and goodwill to the Foundation as the Chairman, Board of Trustees of the Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation.

Ms. Ketumi Alasa was born on 12th February 1956 and hails from the Etsako West Local Government Area of Edo State. She had her tertiary education (HND Computer Science) from the Sheffield City Polytechnic, England. Her work life commenced with her NYSC, during which she served with The Shell Petroleum Development Company of Nigeria Ltd. in Lagos between 1979 and 1980.

Thereafter, she worked for Royal Exchange Assurance as a Computer Programmer from 1980 to 1981. She was also employed by Delta Steel Company Aladja as a Computer Programmer/ Analyst developing and maintaining computer applications from 1981-1984.

In 1984, she was employed by The Shell Petroleum Development Company of Nigeria Ltd as a Computer Programmer Analyst in the Information Technology department. She worked with Shell until 2008 when she retired after a successful and rewarding career.

Since retirement, with her strong entrepreneurial skills, she has been running a business of furniture, household and home decorative items. She has 5 kids, 4 of whom have successfully completed their university education. In her leisure time, she enjoys gospel music and playing golf, for which she has won numerous awards.

She is a devoted Christian with a deep passion for missionaries and their families. She loves to extend help and support to the less privileged. Ms. Ketumi Alasa is a Trustee of the Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation.

THINKING ALOUD | OCT - DEC 2018

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rdsf board of trustees Deacon Samson Madu Igbokwe is a 1983 B.Pharm Graduate of Pharmacy from the former University of Ife (Unife), now known as Obafemi Awolowo University (OAU). In addition, he gained a Masters in Business Administration Degree (MBA) from the University of Lagos (Unilag) in 2000. He also acquired a Certificate of Proficiency in Information Systems Management (CPISM).

Shortly after his Youth Service Corp at Military Hospital Lagos, he set up his own pharmacy business at S.W. Ikoyi, Lagos in 1985 which he has been running as Chairman/Managing Director till date. This is a company that supplies and distributes pharmaceuticals to its community and hospitals in Lagos State.

A devout and practicing Christian, he gave his life to Christ on March 31, 1991 in The Redeemed Evangelical Mission (TREM), Akoka. Since then, he has served in various capacities in TREM as House Fellowship Centre Leader, Zonal Leader, Assistant Area Co-coordinator and Financial Secretary/Treasurer of Caleb Group of the Christian Men Fellowship.

He is currently serving as the Chairman Hospital Visitation Ministry in TREM. He is a member of Pharmaceutical Society of Nigeria (PSN) and a Treasurer at Ikoyi Pharmacy Community Zone. He has passion for contributing to his community, and often assists in reaching out to orphans, the fatherless and widows in the community.

Periodically, he visits in a group and prays for the sick in hospitals in Lagos, ministering to their spiritual, physical and material needs. He is happily married to his amiable wife Mrs. Roseline Igbokwe and they have 5 children. Deacon Samson Igbokwe is a Trustee of the Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation.

Deaconess Roseline Igbokwe was born on November 2, 1965 in Ikoyi, Lagos, and is married to Pharmacist Samson M. Igbokwe.

She is an alumna of Sikkim Manipal University (SMU), Gangtok, India and the University of Lagos (UNILAG); Bsc. in Applied Information Technology, Business Administration and Masters in Business Administration(MBA) from the same institution.

She holds a Certificate of Proficiency in Information Systems Management (CPISM), Advanced Diploma in Systems Engineering (ADSE), Certificate in Strategies for Managing and Collecting Data (LBS) and Certificate in Core Sales Skills (LCT). She worked with Texaco Nigeria Plc as well as Chevron Oil Nigeria Plc as Food Mart Supervisor, Senior Retail Business Consultant, South, and then MRS Oil Nigeria Plc as District Sales Manager, Southwest Nigeria, Credit Control Manager for Nigeria, Aviation Commercial, Retail Sales Manager for Southeast/Southwest Nigeria and Head, Sales & Marketing. Nigeria.

A hard worker with enthusiasm for excellence, in 2006 she won the ‘African Pakistan Global Downstream 2006 Cultural Award, of Customer Facing and Market Focused ’ in Chevron, having executed superior and consistent execution and sales implementation of all programs, processes and systems.

She had focused the department’s organization around achieving the best business financial targets through an agreed set of Profit & Loss control measures in all MRS Oil Nigeria Plc service stations in Nigeria.

She is an ordained minister with The Redeemed Evangelical Mission (TREM): and at various times has held the following positions: Assistant Secretary, Young Women Fellowship; Assistant Secretary, Christian Women Fellowship and Chairman Disciplinary Committee of the Evangel Voices Choir and Team Lead with the Christian Women Fellowship. Deaconess Roseline Igbokwe is also a Trustee of the Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation.

She is blessed with (5) five children. | 27 |

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rdsf board of trustees Pastor (Dr.) Joshua Gbadebo Opadiya is the Senior Pastor of Every Nation Church Sydney, Australia, a worldwide family of churches and ministries.

He is currently serving as the Hub Leader of the Oceania (Australia, New Zealand, Papa New Guinea and Fiji) overseeing the ‘Every Nation churches and ministries in the Oceania region.

Pastor (Dr.) Opadiya previously lectured in the Lagos State University, Nigeria for 6 years, before moving with his family to Innsbruck in Austria where he lived for almost 6 years. Thereafter, the family moved to Sydney Australia in 1999 where together with his wife, Dr. Mrs. Opadiya started the ‘Every Nation Church.

He received his bachelor’s and master’s degrees from the reputable University of Ibadan in Nigeria and holds a doctorate degree in Ecotoxicology from the Technical University, Innsbruck, Austria. Pastor (Dr.) Opadiya has a burden to raise godly leaders and see the nations return to Jesus Christ. He has travelled and ministered in several nations worldwide.

Pastor (Dr.) Opadiya's passion is to connect with young adults and adults alike who are leaders, peacemakers and bridge builders in their colleges, universities and in their communities. His life has been dedicated to this cause, reaching out, equipping, counseling and mentoring. He is also the dean of Every Nation Leadership Institute, a part-time program that is purposefully designed to provide discipleship training and biblical teaching for people from all walks of life. Pastor (Dr.) Opadiya and his wife have been married for 31 years.

They are blessed with children. He is a Trustee of the Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation.

Dr. (Mrs.) Yinka Opadiya is a senior pastor with Every Nation Churches and Ministries. Alongside her husband Pastor (Dr) Joshua Opadiya, she oversees the multi -congregational Church organization in Sydney, Australia – a church with members from diverse cultures, age groups and professions.

She is a teacher and motivational speaker with a passion for teaching about God's love and His purpose for humanity. She is also passionate about women and youth ministry; and is committed to mentoring women and young girls.

Her heart-cry is to see ‘the Church’ respond to the Great Commission of ‘making disciples’ and transforming nations. A graduate of the prestigious Universities of Ife and Ibadan in Nigeria, she also holds a Doctorate degree in French (Women Literature) from the University of Innsbruck in Austria. She had worked as a French Lecturer in the Lagos State University and in various schools in Sydney Australia. Dr. (Mrs.) Yinka Opadiya been married for 31 years. They are blessed with children. She is a Trustee of the Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation.

Mrs. Ronke Osikoya holds a law degree (LLB) from the University of Lagos and an MBA (1988) from the same University.

She is a Certified Trainer for the Commonwealth Association on Corporate Governance and has facilitated on the Directors course on Corporate Governance. She is a Management Consultant that co-runs a management consulting firm, Pedion Partnership Limited.

Her values are strongly shaped by her Christian faith and she believes very passionately in supporting the under-privileged, particularly children, which accounts for her involvement with the Foundation.

Mrs. Osikoya is a Trustee of the Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation and lives with her husband and 2 sons in Lagos, Nigeria.

THINKING ALOUD | OCT - DEC 2018

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rdsf board of trustees Mrs. Abimbola Komolafe is a devout Christian who was ordained as a Deaconess of the Redeemed Christian Church of God (RCCG) in the year 2000 and as an Assistant Pastor in August 2013. She served as a Coordinator in the Teens ministry of the Resurrection Parish of the RCCG in Lagos where her passion for supporting the education of the less privileged was birthed .

She is a Chartered Accountant and Chartered Banker and is a Fellow of the Institute of Chartered Accountants of Nigeria (ICAN) and a Fellow of the Chartered Institute of Bankers of Nigeria.

Mrs. Bimbo Komolafe has taken various management, Leadership and professional courses, within and outside Nigeria and is an Alumna of the Lagos Business School. She worked for 9 years in a reputable Merchant Bank in Nigeria and thereafter worked for 20 years with one of the leading Oil and Gas companies in Nigeria. She currently works as a Principal Consultant for Threshold of Trust Nigeria Limited.

Married to Rear Admiral Kehinde Komolafe (Rtd) who is also an Ordained Pastor of the RCCG Nigeria, they are blessed with 3 children. Together with her husband, they are committed to providing financial support to as many less privileged students as they can accommodate. Mrs Bimbo Komolafe is the founder and Executive Secretary of the Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation.

Rear Admiral Kehinde Komolafe (Rtd), is a highly revered and distinguished military officer who served meritoriously with impeccable records in the Nigerian Navy. He graduated from the Nigerian Defence Academy in 1980 and was commissioned as a Naval Officer a year after. Due to his quest for knowledge and passion for competence, he proceeded to study at the University of Nigeria, Nsukka where he graduated in 1985 with a B.Sc. Degree in Accountancy. He attended several courses nationally and overseas and witnessed consistent career growth during his active years in the military.

Rear Admiral Komolafe is a change agent with a commitment to providing transformational leadership and ensuring realignment of processes, operations, resource and people on various integrated fronts for optimum value creation. He held various sensitive positions in the Navy before his voluntarily retirement from the Service after 35 years of meritorious service. He presently sits on the Board of many prestigious organizations. Beyond his Military career, Rear Admiral Kehinde Komolafe (Rtd.) is a lover of God and a Pastor. He is married to Mrs. Abimbola Komolafe and they are blessed with 3 children.

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success story Background I am Dumi Prosphen Okiemute. I am from Warri North Local Government Area of Delta State. I was brought up in a Christian family consisting of my parents and 10 children. I am the third child.

Crisis Things were moderately okay for us until my father was laid off from his workplace at the Delta Steel Company Limited, Aladja, Warri, Delta State. From then on, we have been living by faith and as the Lord provided. In 1996, while I was in SS1 in DSC Technical High School, Warri, I mysteriously lost my sense of hearing. So I could not continue my education; I stopped schooling and stayed at home for about 13 years. My parents didn't know anything about sign language or the possibility that a person with hearing impairment could still go to school. We just prayed and believed God for a healing since doctors could not cure me.

Back to School In 2009, the desire to further my education led to members of my church (The Deeper Life Bible Church) bringing me to the Mission School for the deaf – the Andrew Foster Memorial College at Onireke, Ibadan. There, I learnt the sign language and joined classes with other students in SS1 who had similar conditions. In 2011, I wrote WASC exam and had the following grades: Excellent in two subjects; Good in four and Credits in three subjects. I also scored 289 in my JAMB exam and 76 per cent in my Post-UTME. I gained admission to the University of Ibadan to study Law and I chose Law because that was what God had told me to study.

Previously, many people had told me that the University of Ibadan would never accept me to study Law due to my hearing impairment and they would simply dump me in the Special Education Department. This was not the case as everything was done on merit. As a result of how things turned out, I learnt not to swallow everything people say but go out and find things out for myself.

Search for Interpreters In 100 Level, there was no sign language interpreter for me as all the interpreters were only for students THINKING ALOUD | OCT - DEC 2018

who were hard of hearing in the Special Education Department. I was advised to write to the VC through the Dean of my Faculty to request for sign language interpreters that would come to the Faculty of Law to interpret lectures for me. The man I met at the VC's office told me to do a survey of the amount to be paid in wages to a sign language interpreter. I didn't know how to go about it, so I went to the HOD of the Special Education Department to find out more information about this. The HOD and another lecturer then followed me to the VC's Office to discuss this with him and the matter was resolved.

Interpreters started to come to my Faculty at the end of the second semester in my 100 Level.

Good Success My CGPA in 100 Level was 4.4 and in 200 Level it increased to 4.5. Since I was so close to a Second Class Upper Division (4.6), I was encouraged by my former Secondary School Biology teacher Mrs Agatha Olaniyi to put in more effort and try to get a Second Class Upper Division. I told her that studying Law was not easy, but she encouraged me. It looked like a herculean task, but I told her I would try my best.

While I was studying for my exams in 300 Level, I felt very weak, but my God encouraged me to get up and read my books because I needed to qualify for “something”. I didn't know what it was at that time but to the glory of God, my CGPA increased to 4.7 in 300 Level. When we resumed school in 400 Level, I saw an advert for a scholarship by Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation (RDSF) for students whose CGPA was 4.6 and above. I had only just qualified and my mind told me this was what my God wanted me to qualify for. God knew that I now had no source of income for my education and the church that supported me during my secondary school education had stopped helping me. I insisted on studying Law at the University and the church felt I would not be able to study and pass as a hearing-impaired person.

The Shell Petroleum scholarship that I got in 200 Level was about to expire partly due to long and frequent strikes. After that, it was certain there would be no money for me to advance to 500 Level.

So, I didn't allow anything discourage me from getting the application form for the RDSF scholarship. We were told at the Students' Affairs Office to | 31 |

success story: go and come back by noon that day for the form and it was about 10am. Thank God I decided to sit outside the office to wait because they began to share the scholarship application forms by 11:15am and the forms were finished before noon.

Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation (RDSF) I filled the form and submitted it the next day. When I resumed 500 Level, I got an SMS to attend an RDSF interview. I attended the interview and, to the glory of God, I was given the scholarship. In my 400 Level, my CGPA had increased to 4.9. Now in 500 Level, I was able to do my final year project without any financial constraint as RDSF sent me N50, 000 to add to the little money I had then. I am very grateful for the support because it was timely. My church also sent me some money at this point when they saw my determination. I graduated from the University of Ibadan with a Second Class Upper Division. Praise God! Law School When it was time for me to attend Law School in November 2017, I had to pay my Law School fees (about N300, 000). I wrote to RDSF for help and they gave me N150, 000. I am forever grateful to RDSF for making it possible for me to pay my Law School fees on time and without stress. This greatly enabled me to settle down early in Law School which in turn helped me to grasp the courses we were taught very well, and I had over 90 per cent attendance score qualifying me to write the Bar final exam.

D-Law I also got another scholarship from the USA (Deaf Legal Advocacy World -wide, D-Law) that paid my sign language interpreters in Law School, bought text books for me and sent me pocket money. I had written previously to the Nigerian Law School, Lagos campus, for interpreters. They replied that they could not provide or pay for interpreters for me, arguing that if they provided interpreters for me other students with special needs would also want to demand for one support or the other which they might not be able to provide. Thank God for the D-Law intervention.

Bar Finals I wrote my Bar final exam between 13 and 17 August 2018. To the glory of God, on 18 October 2018, a day to my birthday, our Bar final results came out. I got another Second Class Upper Division in Law School. This is the Lord's doing and it is marvellous in my sight. Praise God! My call to the Nigerian Bar has been scheduled for 29 November 2018.

I want to thank RDSF for coming to my rescue right on time and being a friend in need and INDEED. I have also received another N 50, 000 RDSF grant for my Call to Bar ceremony. I AM ELATED. God bless you richly for the good work you are doing to assist students in need. I would tell anyone who cares to listen that whatever God sends you to do in this world, He will provide all you that you need to do it, for with God, all things are possible!!!

Dumi Prosphen Okiemute and Mr Nasiru Tijani (Acting Deputy Director General and Head of Lagos Campus) at her call to bar.

Dumi Prosphen Okiemute and her Interpreter at the Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation (RDSF) Inaugural Annual Lecture.

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health & fitness

It

takes time to form a habit, but once a habit is formed, it takes much more time and effort to break it.

However, no matter how hard it is to break a habit, the danger it poses to people ’s health should be sufficient to encourage people to make the required lifestyle adjustments. Six of the habits you can and should avoid to prevent kidney disease, which is the cause of many needless deaths, are briefly explored in this contribution. 

Delayed visits to the toilet. Keeping your urine in your bladder for too long is a bad idea. A full bladder can cause bladder damage. The urine that stays in the bladder multiplies bacteria quickly. Once the urine refluxes back to the ureter and kidneys, the toxic substances can result in kidney infections, then urinary tract infections, and then nephritis, and even uremia. When nature calls – do it as soon as possible.

2. Excess salt intake. You should eat no more than 5.8 grams of salt daily. It is risky to add salt to your food after it has been cooked. Kick salt away from your dining table.

3. Eating too much meat. Too much protein in your diet is harmful for your kidneys. Protein digestion produces ammonia – a toxin that is very destructive to your kidneys. More meat equals more kidney damage.

4. Excessive caffeine consumption. Caffeine is a regular content of soft drinks and beverages. It is associated with high blood pressure, which in turn damages the kidneys. As a rule of thumb, whatever can lead to high blood pressure should be consumed with wisdom or avoided if possible because the kidneys will eventually pay the price.

5. Not drinking water. Our kidneys should be adequately hydrated to perform their functions well. If we don ’t drink enough, the toxins can start accumulating in the blood, as there isn ’t enough fluid to drain them through the kidneys. Drink more than 10 glasses of water daily. There is an easy way to check if you are drinking enough water: look at the colour of your urine; the lighter the colour, the better.

6. Late treatment / diagnosis. Treat all your health problems properly and have your health checked regularly.

Reviewed and Revised by Dr Prince Wokeh | Medical Director TrueVine Hospital Lagos.

THINKING ALOUD | OCT - DEC 2018

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health & fitness

staying healthy during the festive season

It

is a privilege to be asked to write this column. A privilege because on this healthy living matter, I have a big “L” sign on my back. It's been a day-by-day journey as we strive to walk “the line.”

The Count down: tips to remember

The line: what and where?

A balanced meal consists of five food classes. Your target is to eat a balanced meal at every sitting. God has created all food for our benefit, each playing their part.

The line is personal. It is the boundary you have given to yourself – weight, BMI, girth (waist circumference), blood pressure, hours of sleep, bedtime. The line is the margin that you have promised yourself to exceed or fall short of by a very narrow margin.

5. Five food classes in every meal .

•

Carbohydrates: The body's fuel, and like any machine you don't want bad or adulterated fuel.

Keep it clean for optimal performance by eating whole grains and lots of fibre. Tubers – yams and sweet potatoes – are generally good carb choices.

Whole-wheat flour products over white flour products. Please note that anyone on a diabetic diet should follow their doctor's orders on the right carbs to eat.

•

Protein: This helps to build and repair the body tissues. Go for lean protein sources. This includes skinless chicken or turkey, low-fat beef or pork, beans and lentils, low/no fat dairy products (e.g. skimmed or soy milk), fish and tofu. Nuts, seeds and good old eggs are also recommended.

•

Fats: This helps the absorption of fat-soluble vitamins including vitamins A, D, E and K. Recommended sources are omega-3-rich foods like fish (salmon, sardines, mackerel). Nuts, seeds, eggs, cheese, and avocado also come tops as sources of good fat. The use of olive oil and coconut oil also get thumbs up, but please always choose grill over fry!

The line is an essential element of the fitness journey, and I recommend that everyone draw one. As time passes, we can reassess the line and move it up or down.

But we have a problem: how do we get through the holidays without crossing the line? The food, the drink, the late nights, barbeques and, oh, the irresistible small chops. There are a few tips that will help get us through. Let's call them “The Countdown”.

The Countdown should help us shed a few pounds prior before and after the holidays so that the holiday pounds are effectively balanced out. The goal is to stay close to the line over the season, but I also dare you to lower the line and keep going with these tips after the holidays.

THINKING ALOUD | OCT - DEC 2018

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health & fitness •

Vitamins: Oh so important! Most of the other foods already discussed are rich in one form of vitamin or the other. But add dark green vegetables (efo, ugwu, spinach, kale etc.). Fruits as well are a great source of vitamins and super antioxidants. So, fruits and veggies – multi-coloured, whole, diced, smoothie – go there!

•

Minerals: All the “-iums”: Sodium, potassium, calcium, magnesium plus more. These are essential for maintaining proper fluid balance and ensuring healthy bones and nerves. Like vitamins, they are found in a variety of foods as well as fruits and vegetables.

4: Use these tips four weeks before and after the holidays. This allows us plan ahead for food mania. It also allows extra time afterwards to ensure that you lose any extra pounds.

3: Every meal should be made up of three recommended parts — 50 per cent vegetables, 25 per cent carbohydrates and 25 per cent protein.

2: Drink two litres of water every day. You can spread it out — 1 litre before and another after lunch. Water helps to transport nutrients throughout the body and assists in removing waste products from the body.

1: Get one hour of intentional physical activity a day - run, walk, dance, swim, aerobics, it doesn't matter. Just move.

0: Zero artificial drinks & flour-based products. Fizzy drinks, soda, packaged juices and other drinks; white bread, pastry, small chops (*sad face*) also turn away as we countdown.

With all that has been said, everything must be done in moderation with portion -control as king. We can embrace these tips, clean up our meal plan and be ready to relax the rules when the holiday season comes upon us. Good luck and best wishes with the holiday puff puff!

Have a wonderful Christmas and New Year ahead.

Elozino Olaniyan holds a Bachelor’s of Engineering Degree in Chemical Engineering from the University of Benin-City, Nigeria, and has 25+ years industry experience as a Petroleum Engineer.

She is married to Engineer Olafemi Olaniyan and together they have three children.

She lives in Lagos Nigeria where she serves as a minister in her local church. In her spare time, she writes an inspirational blog www. Elozino.wordpress.com. She is passionate about her fitness regime and shares some tips with TA readers. | 35 |

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laughing at their success in eliciting such a reaction from you.

naija moments

BANGER!!!!!

I

don’t know how many names there are for them.

There are fireworks, there are firecrackers, there are sparklers, and then there is the legendary street name: “banger”! And we don’t care if that’s the right or wrong name to call it, as long as it serves its purpose of bringing the Christmas season alive!

For some, it is the most thrilling thing to do, gathering together in the neighbourhood, igniting numerous packs of banger and watching it go off in different variations and intensity of bangs. When I was young, Christmas was always something to look forward to all year round as my dad had made a tradition of buying all sorts of different firework products ahead of time, to celebrate with.

Then on Christmas Eve, the extended family would come together and he would distribute the products among us younger ones. It was always so much fun running around, squealing with delight, competing to know who could produce the loudest bang, and we did that till far in the night when our legs got too tired to continue.

Some were too lily-livered to be in the centre of the thrill. They would rather enjoy it from a far distance, or even from the confines of a well-secured building, and I totally understood why. You could be walking along the street, minding your business, humming a Christmas carol to yourself only to see in a split second a spark just two steps ahead of you and while your brain was still trying to figure out what the spark meant or where it came from, you’d hear a loud bang that almost made you pee your pants from the fright.

I’ve seen people in that situation trying to hold your heart in place before realizing it was just “banger”. And then you hear the jeer of some kids not too far away, THINKING ALOUD | OCT - DEC 2018

I remember one New Year’s Eve after the crossover service at church, which, by the way, is our own version of the countdown at Times Square in NYC. You find all sorts of people there who have found their way to the church just so that the stroke of midnight found them there. My mom once told me that in her days, people would go straight from bars to the church, not minding that they were reeking of alcohol, but just as long as they were in church at the stroke of midnight, it was alright.

Then they would go back to their old ways and wait for another new year’s eve to visit the church. Anyway, so that year, after the service, I came out of the church to so many “banger” displays by the residents around the church. There were so many people all over the street, everyone brimming with excitement about the brand new year.

I wove through the crowd and tactfully avoided any collision with a live “banger”. I finally made it to my car in one piece and breathed a sigh of relief that I was safe.

I started the car to head back home, and then I heard it – a thunderous sound from nowhere, filling every part of the car – it felt like I was sitting on a canister of explosives that just went off. It turned out that one of the frolicking lots on the street had thrown a “banger”, and it had so landed right under my car!

“Banger” is a harmless (if handled correctly), entertaining, adrenaline pumping firework product, which simply announces the Christmas season in Nigeria. Christmas in Nigeria without “banger”, is that really Christmas?

Olanike Oloruntoba is a freelance writer with a BSc (Hons) degree in Political Science and eight years professional work experience in the insurance field. She enjoys reading, engaging in thought-provoking conversations and expressions of thoughts.

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POETRY CORNER I see perseverance Then, reality

SAW. SEE. I saw minor disagreements I saw grudge I saw hatred I saw division Then, war

I see selflessness I see loyalty I see trust I see sacrifice Then, love

I saw success I saw celebration I saw drinking I saw driving Then, crash

I see small I see medium I see big I see great Then, growth

I saw castles in the air I saw sleep I saw slumber I saw folded arms Then, poverty I saw opportunities I saw procrastination I saw excuses I saw failure Then, blame I saw freedom I saw abuse I saw greed I saw tyranny Then, death I saw lies I saw cheats I saw deceit I saw thieves Then, devil.

I see trees of green I see roses of red I see skies of blue I see clouds of white It’s colourful, bright and beautiful.

I see grace I see truth I see second chances I see life Then, God I see responsibility I see honesty I see equity I see unity I see what should be Can be, must be, and would be.

TRUTH. I promise to tell the truth Nothing but‌ NO! I promise to say it the way it is I promise to neither embellish nor sugar-coat I promise to call a spade and mean spade I promise to conform to the actual state of reality I promise to hit the nail on the head and not superglue your feelings.

I really want to tell the truth Nothing but the whole truth, But how much of the truth can you handle?

I see talents I see potentials I see development I see opportunities Then, wealth

Truth is bitter Truth is mean Truth is cold Truth is hidden Hidden in open places.

I see dreams I see work I see faith

So I promise to tell the hiding place of truth Nothing but the unhidden hiding place of truth Help me God.

THINKING ALOUD | OCT - DEC 2018

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Could you tell us a bit about yourself?

My name is Benny Akinyemi-Finisher. I am the second of four children born and raised in Lagos and Ibadan, Nigeria, by an Ogun State Father and an Ondo State Mother. I am an ambivert with an eye and attention for the “unusuals” of life, always finding ways to make the best of whatever comes my way.

How did you get into poetry and the art of the spoken word?

I stumbled into it and loved it – the process from writing to performance – and ever since I've been falling over and over it.

What inspires your poems/spoken word performances?

Life: its beginnings, its ways, its sound, its tricks, its outcomes and its endings.

What challenges have you overcome on this journey to becoming the artist you are today?

People's disregard for creative arts is a major challenge; but as it should be with every other profession you believe in and have passion for, I keep on. I keep grinding till the grains turn to powder.

The thing is, for every challenge we overcome, a couple more are waiting stronger to take us out. That makes the journey worthwhile for me, adding more feathers to my hat every time I face the challenge. I wink and tell it: "Is this all you've got?"

Any words of encouragement for aspiring poets and spoken word artists out there?

Write YOUR words, speak YOUR words, be; not just YOURself, but the best of YOURself. KNOW YOUR CRAFT, stand by what you believe and be flexible with the times and seasons.

When Ben Finisher isn’t writing poetry, how does he occupy himself?

He is behind a studio microphone giving voices to characters, acting, constructing theatre sets, creating plays or directing performances. Poetry writing happens alongside the other activities mentioned. I'm always awake and open for the filling.

Benny Finisher, whose real name is; Benny Akinyemi-Finisher is a Performance Poet, organizer of Verses and Lines (a music and Poetry concert), Creative Partner at Greenland Music Company and Creative Director at Bughugmug Company. A dynamic performer with an unconventional approach to spoken word delivery. His brand essence encapsulates class, creativity and originality. Benny has a genuine talent that transforms daily experiences into an adventure that captivates, motivates and inspires. He is a one of a kind word-smith and word-player.

E-mail: misterfinisher@gmail.com Instagram: @bennyfinisher Twitter: @bennyfinisher YouTube: Benny Finisher Facebook: Benny Finisher | 38 |

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