Thinking Aloud Magazine: Jan-Mar 2019

THINKING ALOUD

ISSUE

5 A QUARTERLY MAGAZINE publication of rehoboth dream solid foundation (rdsf)

JAN - MAR 2019

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CONTENTS

Cover Photo: Anthos House for Special Needs Education

Dr. Folasade Hunsu Department of English, Obafemi Awolowo University, Nigeria

Mr. Patrick Edebor Editorial/publishing consultant. Owner, Patrick Edebor and Associates.

Mr. Akin Adejuwon Curator, Institute of Cultural Studies, Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife.

Dr. Mrs Olayinka Opadiya Senior Pastor, Every Nation Church Sydney Australia.

Mrs. Abimbola Komolafe Founder/Executive Director, Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation.

Rear Admiral (Rtd) Oladeinde Joseph , Chairman, Board of Trustees Pharm. Samson Igbokwe Mrs Roseline Igbokwe Mrs Ronke Osikoya Mrs Ketumi Alasa Pastor (Dr) Joshua Opadiya Dr (Mrs) Yinka Opadiya Mrs Abimbola Komolafe Rear Admiral (Rtd) K O Komolafe

Editor Bimbo Komolafe

Publication & Design Benjamin Eze

Project Manager Tomi Olatunde

Project Team

@2019. Thinking Aloud Magazine, a publication of Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation.

Edison Egere Othniel Komolafe Felix Eguabor Eunice Olatunji

THINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2019

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non -commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

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EDITORIAL

ISSUE

5 JAN - MAR 2019

Dear Readers, Welcome to the Q1 - 2019 edition of the Thinking Aloud Magazine. Thinking Aloud is the brand name of Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation’s (RDSF) international initiative for information sharing.

As usual, this edition contains interesting articles in pursuit of our Magazine’s vision and mission to promote and entrench enduring values in our society.

For our cover story, our focus is on special needs education and the impressive work going on at the Anthos House, Lagos. Our production team witnessed the opening event of the Anthos House and thereafter interviewed key parties involved in this noble project. Our readers will enjoy every bit of the three interviews and the very emotional article by a parent. These include the interview with the Executive Director/Founder of Anthos House, Mrs. Lai Koiki, the Head of School, Dr. Kimberley Scollard; and a parent whose child is currently at Anthos House, Mrs. Angela Emuwa. We also feature a very revealing and emotional article by a parent who is integral to the establishment of Anthos House, Dr. Mrs. Delphine Misan-Arenyeka. She shares her story with us to further draw attention to ways of improving special needs education around us. With this package, we believe our readers will learn a lot and be better informed on handling the education of children with special needs.

Our regular columns offer interesting topics for your reading delight. The “RDSF Success Story” features Chinenye Ihejirika, a beneficiary of the RDSF who recently obtained her B. Pharm and Pharm. D degrees from the University of Benin. She says “Big dreams are hard to achieve, but Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation made it easier for me to achieve mine’.

Also, in this edition, the Finance Coach discusses Estate Planning and the Benefits of Writing a WILL. Our contributor for the Parenting column focuses on drug addiction and its effect on the Nigerian youth. Similarly, the Poetry corner features two beautiful poems by Dipo Ojo, a banker-cum poet, while the Health Corner draws attention to caring for the liver.

In our fitness corner, we introduce “Fitness Spotlight” to share stories and lessons from people who are successfully keeping fit and present our interview with Mrs. Rita Olatunde who has a disciplined fitness regime. Our fitness columnist Mrs. Elo Olaniyan, encourages our readers on how to reset their fitness clock for 2019.

Sit back and have a delightful reading experience. Remember to share the magazine with your loved ones, as there is something interesting in there for everyone.

We would like to receive feedback from our readers on our content and features. Send your comments in response to any of the featured articles to ThinkingAloudPublication@gmail.com. We look forward to hearing from you.

BIMBO KOMOLAFE

Editor

connect with us on social media | thinkingaloudmagazine

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A QUARTERLY MAGAZINE

DEATH ON THE HIGH: drug addiction as nemesis of nigerian youths

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rug addiction is a chronic, progressive and destructive habit if left unchecked. Drug addiction does not affect the individual alone; it tears families apart, ruins relationships and depletes spirituality.

Whаt іѕ a drug?, A drug is a substance uѕеd for mеdіcаl рurроѕеѕ. It іѕ аnу ѕubѕtаnсе which uроn еntеrіng thе body can сhаngе either the funсtіоn or ѕtruсturе оf thе оrgаnіѕm. On the other hand, drug abuse іѕ a ѕіtuаtіоn whеn a drug is taken beyond the prescribed level. It could bе seen аѕ thе uѕе оf іllісіt drugѕ, оr the abuse оf рrеѕсrірtіоn or over-the-counter drugѕ. Drug аbuѕе саn bе further defined as thе dеlіbеrаtе uѕе оf chemical ѕubѕtаnсеѕ fоr reasons other than іntеndеd mеdіcаl purposes and which rеѕult in the рhуѕісаl, mental, emotional or ѕосіаl impairment of thе uѕеr. Thе аbuѕе of lеgаl drugѕ can happen when people uѕе thеm іn a mаnnеr other than as directed by thе manufacturer or for рurроѕеs that аrе nоt legitimate.

And addiction? Addiction takes place when the mind or body of a habitual user is dependent upon a substance, seemingly for survival. Addicts might know logically that they won’t die if they stop using the substance, but various withdrawal symptoms could drive them back to the drug or drink whenever they try to quit.

Drug use аnd аbuѕе іѕ the рrіmаrу reason why mаnу youths have gone to jail. It is the number one factor that fuels crimes and health challenges in our ѕосіеtу today. The numbеr оf youths jailed in various prisons асrоѕѕ the country has increased dramatically оvеr the lаѕt few decades. In fасt, a large and growing percentage of youths hаvе bееn аrrеѕtеd for drug offences or have a drug аbuѕе THINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2019

рrоblеm. There are two аѕресtѕ оf dаngеr аѕѕосіаtеd with drugs: the risk of addiction and аdvеrѕе health and behavioural consequences. Drugѕ аrе bаѕісаllу categorized into two grоuрѕ. They are either lеgаllу аррrоvеd аnd acceptable for use for medical purposes or they are illegally acquired or legally dіѕаррrоvеd drugѕ.

Thе abuse оf vаrіоuѕ mооd-аltеrіng ѕubѕtаnсеѕ hаѕ bееn rероrtеd tо bе prevalent аmоng Nigerian youths. Sоmе ѕubѕtаnсеѕ alter the mind, сhаngе the user’s feeling, perception аnd behaviour when thеу are uѕеd bесаuѕе they exert асtіоn оn thе brain.

The use of drugs could be beneficial or harmful, depending on the mode of use.

The most common types of abused drugs in Nigeria are categorized as follows: 1. Stimulants: These are substances that directly act and stimulate the central nervous system. Users at the initial stage experience pleasant effects such as energy increase.

The major source of this comes from caffeine in the abused substance.

2. Hallucinogens’: These are drugs that alter the sensory processing unit in the brain, thus, producing distorted perception, feeling of anxiety and euphoria, sadness and/or inner joy. They are effects usually produced by marijuana, LSD, etc.

3. Narcotics: These drugs relieve pains and they are addictive. They are found in heroin, codeine, opium, etc.

4. Sedatives: These drugs are among the most widely used and abused. This is largely due to the belief that they relieve stress and anxiety, and some of them induce sleep, ease tension, cause relaxation or help users to forget their | 5 |

death on the high: drug addiction as nemesis of nigerian youths problems. They are sourced from valium, alcohol, promethazine, chloroform.

6. Miscellaneous: This is a group of volatile solvents or inhalants that provide euphoria, emotional disinhibition and perpetual distortion of thought to the user. The main sources are glues, spot removers, tube repair, perfumes, chemicals, etc.

7. Tranquillizers: They are believed to produce calmness without bringing drowsiness, they are chiefly derived from Librium, Valium etc.

The opioid epidemic that was declared a public health emergency in America is now ravaging the youths of Nigeria. Unlike expensive opioid prescription drugs, codeine, found in certain cough syrups, is cheap and easily purchased over the counter What are Opioids?

Opioids are a group of drugs that range from codeine and morphine to illegal drugs like heroin. Most opioids are prescribed primarily for pain relief. They work by attaching to opioid receptors in your brain cells and releasing signals that block your perception of pain and boost feelings of pleasure.

Like other opioids, codeine is an effective painkiller that gives you a euphoric high if consumed in large quantities.

It is highly addictive and, when taken in excess, can have a devastating impact on the mind and body.

In addition to kidney damage and seizures, the abuse of codeine can trigger mental psychosis such as delusions, hallucinations and even schizophrenia.

Codeine Syrup Addiction Thousands of young people in Nigeria are addicted to codeine cough syrup - the medicine that has morphed into a street drug. It is often mixed with soft drinks to make a concoction referred to in popular culture as "lean", or it is taken straight from the bottle.

Lawmakers estimate that the residents of just two states in the country's north consume more than 3 million bottles of it each day. The codeine itself is imported, but the syrup is made in Nigeria by more than 20 pharmaceutical companies.

Recently, a group of us (some sisters and I work with to counsel young people) had to commit one of the teenagers to a private rehab centre for detoxification because of the usage of codeine and tramadol (this young man is just one of so many youths in this category). Left alone he would have been one of the mentally insane youths walking the streets of Lagos. Today, he is completely detoxified and learning a vocation.

The Federal Government of Nigeria has taken the commendable step to ban the production and importation of codeine as an active pharmaceutical ingredient for cough syrup preparations as a way of obstructing the abuse of the substance among Nigerians.

Some of the over-the-counter drugs which are often abused include: 1. Tramadol: This is a pain killer now used as an ecstasy drug by youths in Nigeria. Tramadol is an opioid pain medication used to treat moderate-to-severe pain. It is meant to be prescribed by a physician, unfortunately, the drug has found its way to the streets. The pill comes in different milligrammes from 50 to 500. The recommended dose of tramadol is 50 to 100mg, with a maximum of 200mg in severe treatment cases. Anything above 200mg will cause a massive euphoric effect similar to that of marijuana. Tramadol is used by some men to prevent quick ejaculation. One or two tablets of 500mg is believed by some to increase libido and staying power when the male user wants to impress a woman. The side effect of tramadol, when taken in high dosage, include nausea, diarrhoea, loss of appetite, and dry mouth. Long-term abuse can lead to convulsion, seizures, serious health damage, birth defects in pregnant women or even death.

2. Rohypnol: This is also known by many code names such as Roko, Roofies, Roche, Renfol and so on. Rohypnol is meant to be sold only after a physician's prescription. The drug is a tranquiliser about ten times more potent than valium. However, in Nigeria, the drug can be obtained both on the streets and over-the-counter without a prescription. Rohypnol is used to treat severe insomnia and for anaesthetic purposes. The drug is relatively cheap and gives the user a hazy feeling. It is often taken with alcoholic or assorted drinks. Addicts could sometimes crush the pill to be taken with marijuana or other herbs.

This could also be injected. Rohypnol is nearly tasteless, making it a pill of choice for drugging unsuspecting victims.

The pill has a reputation of a "date-rape" drug because of its paralysing effect. The effects start 20-30 minutes after taking the drug, peaks within two hours and may persist for eight or even 12 hours. Ingestion of this drug can so incapacitate a person as to make them collapse, lying on the floor, eyes open, able to observe events but completely unable to move. Afterwards, the user’s memory is impaired and they cannot recall anything. This is later followed by loss of muscle control, confusion, drowsiness and amnesia.

3. Alabukun: This is a cheap pain killer which can be bought from hawkers, street side vendors and drug stores.

The drug is usually hawked around. People swallowing Alabukun with alcohol have become a common sight, not regarding the medical implication of doing so. Alabukun is a locally produced analgesic in powder form. According to the manufacturer of the drug, it is a combination of aspirin and caffeine. Some Nigerians take it to neutralize alcohol or to treat a hangover. Some mix it with cocaine and other substances that can be sniffed. | 6 |

A QUARTERLY MAGAZINE

death on the high: drug addiction as nemesis of nigerian youths 4. Aspirin: It is also known as Tylenol. It is an over-thecounter pain killer which is also sold on the streets and by roadside hawkers. The drug, because of its chemical composition, has an ability to numb the muscles, emotional pains and sometimes creates an exciting effect on the user.

Most abusers use it to kill desperation, emotional trauma, and depression among other things. To get a euphoric effect, the pills are usually taken with alcohol or CocaCola. Some crush the pills and mix them with other substances for a “higher effect”. Unfortunately, this drug, when abused, can become harmful to the body both physically and mentally. Abuse of Aspirin damages the liver and heart. The drug is not good for diabetic and hypertensive patients.

5. Valium: This is also known as diazepam. This is one of the drugs which is not meant to be sold without a doctor's prescription. Valium, unfortunately, is still being sold over the counter without a prescription. It is also sold in the black market and can be found on the streets. Valium is an addictive benzodiazepine with a longer lasting effect than other drugs in its class. The drug can be administered via oral injection or as a tablet. It can also be crushed, injected or mixed with other drugs. Valium affects the brain and produces a fast euphoric high. Over time, it is hard for the abuser's brain to function normally without the drug. The risk is often higher when Valium is combined with other drugs such as alcohol, opioids, among others.

Remedies/Solution to Drug Abuѕе 1. Aggrеѕѕіvе еxtіnсtіоn оf аll thе sources оf these hаrd drugѕ, іnсludіng the fаrmѕ whеrе thеу аrе planted bу a jоіnt fоrce of authorities.

2. Pаrеntѕ should monitor the kind of friends their сhіldrеn interact with and guіdе аgаіnѕt bаd соmраnу.

3. Tеаchіng thе еffесtѕ of drug аbuѕе in schools and churches.

4. Cоntіnuоuѕ саmраіgn аgаіnѕt thе uѕе оf hard drugѕ аt thе fеdеrаl, state аnd lосаl levels.

5. Cоnѕеnt of a dосtоr ѕhоuld be ѕоught bеfоrе a рrоlоng intаkе оf a particular ѕоft drug.

6. A stiff penalty should be imposed on anybody dealing in hard drugѕ.

Biblical Remedies/Advice to Drug Addiction The Bible contains answers and inspiration for any situation or feeling that recovery could bring about. Here are some of the most helpful Bible verses that a recovering addict may turn to.

1. Psalm 27:4-6: This verse is a wonderful reminder of the importance of forging a relationship with God and the fact that with God, it is possible to overcome even the most harrowing of situations.

2. John 16:33: There are many times in a recovering addict’s life when he must summon the courage and find his strongest self. This is a reminder that obstacles are

inevitable, but with God anything is possible.

3. 1 Peter 3:11: Getting sober means constantly facing the demons that are triggers to use. In the path to becoming a more healthy and happy person, it is important to continue to seek things that bring peace and joy and to make the constant conscious decision to avoid decisions, people, and situations that are toxic.

4. James 4:10: One of the most effective and important things a recovering addict can realize is that he must let go of the idea that he has control over everything. The reality is, of course, that there are countless things in life that no one has control over, and rather than deal with these things by using, it is important to recognize our own powerlessness and to let God take care of us. With this faith will come the strength to lead the lives we want.

5. 1 Corinthians 4:5: It is important that in the quest to become a healthier and more evolved person,that a conscious effort is made to avoid judging both one’s self and others. There is no place for judgement in recovery, and those who keep an open mind about themselves and the people they encounter are much more likely to have a closer relationship to God and to enjoy all of the help and love that the relationship will bring. With God, a recovering addict can and will find health.

Conclusion: Addiction has been defined as a chronic disease process. That means it may be necessary to, not only fight against addiction with only prayer and positive thoughts but with professional help, because chemical dependency can mean something has changed in the body.

Most experts agree that the way to battle addiction is through a combination of medical detox and behavioural therapy, and Christian drug rehab aligns those two measures with faith and Biblical counselling.

Pastor (Mrs.) Valentina Eikore is a dietitian by profession turned baker. A child Evangelist trained by Child Evangelism Fellowship International to the level of instructor of teachers level 2. She heads a department at the junior church at national level at the Redeemed Christian Church of God (RCCG) and is one of the writers of the children Sunday school manuals for the mission. She runs a shelter called Jehovah Jireh Refuge Home along with some other individuals. She is married to Pastor Tony Eikore and blessed with six boys. | 7 |

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THE FINANCE COACH estate planning & the benefits of writing a will

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his quarter, I will be sharing on a topic that is very important to me.

I will discuss estate planning and the numerous benefits of writing a Will, drawing largely on my experience when my father died ‘intestate’ (i.e. without a Will). I hope that readers of the Finance Coach Column will take some lessons and proactively take the needed steps to protect their Families, legacy and wealth.

Many people work so hard in their lifetime but do not take the precaution to ensure their built-up wealth is properly managed after they have passed on. Some are fearful believing once they have written a Will, death is the next thing to happen. Death is a debt every living person will pay at some point. Writing a Will or planning your Estate does not attract death and the thought that a Will brings on death is far from the truth. This apathy for writing a Will is even more pronounced in the Nigerian culture where even the most enlightened and educated have a phobia for planning their Estates. People who plan their Estate are only being clever and belong to a minority who are aware of the benefits. It is wise to have a Will to preserve your hard work and it is also wise to have a Will to reduce the amount of tax you would otherwise have to pay.

What is Estate planning?

Estate planning is the act of preparing (during a person’s lifetime) for the transfer of the person's wealth and assets after his or her death or mental incapacitation. (mental incapacitation is defined as an absence of mental capacity and the inability to carry on the everyday affairs of life or to care for one's person or property with reasonable discretion). Estate planning is done with the objective of minimizing Estate or inheritance taxes and to avoid the resulting cost of obtaining a Letter of Administration if one dies intestate. The assets and liabilities of a person all form part of one's Estate. These include but are not limited to real estate, shares in companies, cash/bank balances, cars, life insurance policies, personal belongings, and of course bank loans and other debts.

Readers should note that Estate planning allows an individual to decide exactly who will benefit from his or her Estate, to what extent, at what time and upon predefined conditions. It also protects your beneficiaries from being exposed to avoidable government levies while THINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2019

ensuring they pay the smallest tax possible. Estate planning preserves your legacy according to your wishes and protects your loved ones from many uncomfortable and undesirable circumstances after your passing.

Essential to Estate planning is the task of transferring assets to heirs with an eye toward preserving the value of the Estate as much as possible.

Consequences of not writing a Will The unfortunate incident of not having a Will occurs amongst all classes of people. Rich, poor, educated and uneducated. The negative consequences of not writing a Will should inspire anyone who has any tangible asset to write a Will. Simple assets include your bank account balances, shares owned, share of a business etc. While your family may easily have access to houses on family owned land, they will not have access to cash in your bank accounts, your shares or legally documented assets.

I will now examine some of these consequences: 1. PROCESSING A LETTER OF ADMINISTRATION When a deceased does not leave a Will, he/she is deemed to have died intestate requiring the heirs/next of kin to process a Letter of Administration (LOA) to access the deceased’s estate. The entire process of obtaining the LOA of an estate can be cumbersome and extremely exhausting especially for people unfamiliar with the procedure. It is even more daunting due to the unstructured processes in most states in Nigeria and the typical bureaucratic hurdles in government establishments.

Readers should note that there are different guidelines in different states in Nigeria on how Estates which fall into intestacy can be administered by the deceased’s next of kin. I will recommend that the next of kin retains the services of a competent Lawyer to hand hold and guide him through the entire process of obtaining the LOA. To reiterate, please note that seeking to obtain a Letter of Administration is: • Costly • Time consuming • Fraught with Delays • Cumbersome (identification and listing of deceased’s assets is a big task) • Emotionally draining and complex especially in Nigeria. This is because some offices you need to visit | 8 |

estate planning & the benefits of writing a will in order to process the LOA do not have proper structures.

2. REDUCTION IN VALUE OF THE ESTATE The Estate of a deceased person can lose value when no Will exists 1. The value of the Estate is automatically reduced by the percentage of Probate dues applied to the estate when processing the LOA. 2. Also when a different person other than the owner of the assets is involved in the collation of the number and value of assets, there is the possibility of missing out on some valuable assets which may have been known only to the deceased. This results in fewer assets listed than total Assets available.

3. Depending on the emotional stability of the heirs of the deceased and the circumstances of his/her death, the eligible Administrators may take some time to recover from the loss leading to some loss of value in the assets. In my experience, as a result of the shock and state of my emotions when my father suddenly died, it took me one year to consider processing the LOA and eventually deciding on Asset disposals. By the time we were ready to sell some of the cars, they had lost so much value.

4. Inadequate knowledge on the steps to follow to obtain the LOA, funding required to access necessary legal support and disagreement amongst heirs are some reasons that can delay execution and administration of the deceased’s estate exposing the estate to devaluation.

5. Inability to access bank funds means that Administrators cannot take timely and best decisions regarding the funds, consequently these funds may not earn maximum interest income.

3. NO WILL, NO PEACE We can argue that it isn’t in all cases where there is no Will that the family resorts to ugly wars. However, there have been unfortunate instances where some rich and educated people ignored this simple task and ended up exposing their loved ones to very ugly and messy situations. There have been occasions where siblings from same parents could not agree on the distribution of a deceased’s assets. I have also seen where only one out of a deceased’s surviving heirs is interested in undertaking the Herculean task of processing the LOA required to access assets - resulting in the entire Estate being subjected to this one heir’s interest, availability, and competence.

SOME IMPORTANT ISSUES TO NOTE JOINT ASSETS Jointly owned assets require that each owner gives specific instructions on his/her share of such assets. You may own assets jointly, but your Will can only bequeath your share of the asset. In some circumstances, the legal documenta-

tion of the jointly owned assets may allow some ‘succession clauses’ which allows the full asset to devolve to the coowner. Where such clauses are adopted, this must be recognised in the Will.

ESTATE PLANNING IS NOT ONLY FOR AGED Estate planning is not for the ‘aged’ or retirees only.

Anyone who owns any valuable asset, irrespective of age should wisely document his/her desire for the distribution of those assets after death.

SHARES OWNED One of the actions the administrators of an estate must take is to carry out a global search of shares owned by the deceased. Thankfully, the Central Securities Clearing System (CSCS) in Nigeria is very organised and a visit to their office will help in the asset collation exercise. The Administrators of the Estate will be granted access to the relevant records of the shares owned by the deceased on the presentation of the following key documents: • Death Certificate • Letter of Administration • Valid identification for the Administrator(s) • Power of Attorney where relevant CONCLUSION I have attempted to bring attention to this topic and share in simple terms the disadvantages of dying intestate revealing that it is beneficial to plan your estate and pen a Will.

Let me end this article by asking ‘Do you have a Will? Is your Will up to date? If you own any significant asset and are educated, you have no excuse not to have a Will. Be wise and act today. If you need free support, connect with me via E-mail Financecoach@thresholdresources.ng This article is dedicated to the loving memory of my Dad Mr ‘Biola Aturamu (Rtd. Police Commissioner) 1942 2011.

Bimbo Komolafe FCA, FCIB writes from Lagos. She has over thirty years’ experience in finance and business and has a passion for seeing people succeed in managing their finances.

For more Financial tips from the finance coach follow her on: Instagram - @financecoachtoday Twitter - @financecoachbk Email - Financecoach@thresholdresources.ng Blog - www.financecoachbk.blogspot.com.ng Facebook - Finance Coach Money and Wealth | 9 |

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generation next situations I used to be “comfortable” in before. I was not able to pretend to be someone I was not anymore, mainly because I had realized that my personality no longer fits into certain situations. However, because I had become comfortable with my self-discovery, I had no interest in those situations anymore. Naturally, in my journey of self-discovery, there were various things I realized that I had to improve on about myself, but in general I concluded that I was alright.

I mean, as people go, I’m not bad (in my humble opinion). This means that nobody can dictate to me who to be, and no one can also convince me to change. I have studied myself and decided what to change and what not to, and so you really can’t tell me about myself.

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f someone behaves differently around different people, are they multifaceted or just fake?

Some people are able to switch their personalities to match those around them at any given time. Are these people fake or just multifaceted? I used to strongly argue that they were multifaceted, and that’s because I was one of them. In situations that I felt that I could not be myself, I simply became who I needed to be. It meant that I had friends, was (faux) happy in most situations, and people left me alone, so it (life) was easier.

I convinced myself that I was just multifaceted, that, yes, I could have completely opposing interests and that was just me. I now realize I was being fake. Having different friend groups with different interests is one thing, having opposite types of friends is another thing entirely. The same things I didn’t like doing, I was suddenly able to do with certain people… weird.

There are times, however, when I would argue that it is not a bad thing to change your personality. For example, if you’re at a job interview, act different from how you act when you’re chilling. I would say that isn’t really changing your personality. It is conforming to societal norms about manners, formality, etc.

To conclude, being multifaceted is not the same as being fake. I think that everyone should try to get to know themselves completely. It will shock them how much they stop caring about being comfortable. Now, I would be shocked at myself if I was comfortable in some settings. I know myself, and consequently some people and conversations are supposed to make me uneasy, and that ultimately is a good thing.

Let’s go further than interests, how about morals? What do these different groups of people talk about? Would you feel uncomfortable talking about what you talk about with one set of friends if another is around? Why is that? For me, it happened first when I moved schools.

I went from a “family” school where I had been raised, and where I knew everyone, to a much bigger community with peers that were very different from those I was used to. For 11-year-old me, making friends was the most important thing.

I believed that you were unable to switch personalities like this when you finally truly knew yourself. I started by saying that I used to switch off “in situations that I felt that I could not be myself”, but did I even know who that was? Now that I do, I can’t really imagine just switching myself off to fit in. Obviously, people continuously change and evolve, but ever since I discovered myself, and made peace with myself. I realized that I had become uncomfortable in a lot of THINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2019

‘Tofe Ayeni is a final year Politics and French student who is passionate about socio-political issues and desires to debunk social norms that are detrimental to minorities. She hopes that through her writing, she is able to draw people's attention to things that they have always accepted but should be fighting against. She hopes that individuals are triggered, angered, saddened, and driven to make changes through her work. Read more articles from ‘Tofe on her blog www.tofenla.wordpress.com. | 10 |

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inspiring interviews

Anthos House Campus Location 1, Platimun Way, Osapa London, Lekki Peninsula II, Lagos, Nigeria Monday - Friday: 7:00am – 5:30pm +234 908 717 1790 info@anthoshouse.org

anthos house lekki Anthos House (a Greensprings School initiative) is a unique school in Nigeria that believes in an integrated approach to education, care and therapy while showing great commitment to strong academic progress delivered as functional skills.

The core purpose of Anthos House is to deliver broad, balanced and relevant learning programmes to learners, which takes into account each child’s unique needs and abilities. The team is made up of certified learning support professionals that specialize in strategies that help build soft skills in the children and focus on the overall education of the child.

Anthos House had its official opening in December 2018 and representatives of Thinking Aloud Team as well as the Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation (RDSF) Trustees were in attendance.

Given the inspiring work of this institution, Thinking Aloud found it necessary to conduct separate interviews with the Executive Director of the school, Mrs. Lai Koiki; the Head of School, Dr. Kimberley Scollard, and a parent, Mrs. Angela Emuwa. A wonderful parent who is integral to the establishment of Anthos House, Dr. Mrs. Delphine Misan-Arenyeka, was also more than willing to share her story with us in order to get the word out there as much as possible. | 12 |

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inspiring interviews

interview with mrs. lai koiki (executive director of anthos house lekki) 1. As a foremost educator with an excellent track record in Nigeria, what was the motivation for starting Anthos House?

It was clear to me that there was a huge need in Nigeria for more support and provision for children with special educational needs. I wanted Greensprings to set up a school that would be a centre of excellence for children with special needs. We want to impact far beyond our students and we offer training and support for teachers, carers and parents to promote understanding and best practices in this underserved area.

2. Could you give us a brief history of the school, when it was founded and how the journey has been so far?

Anthos House was borne out of the Greensprings School initiative founded in 1985 with three children.

We have now emerged as a leading educational institution in the 21st century, providing students with a world-class educational experience. We have grown from this humble beginning and now have a student population of over 2,000 across three campuses and now Anthos House is dedicated to children with special needs. Ours is an integrated and inclusive structured training programme which offers continuity, stability and progressive development for children from 18 months to 19 years, that is, PreSchool, Elementary School, Secondary School and a Senior School, offering the prestigious IB Diploma.

We are constantly evolving our systems to reflect best practices, as identified by current educational research.

3. Also, could you give us a picture of the kind of facilities and the personnel profile you have put together in this school to help meet the needs of the people?

The Anthos House facilities are designed to support students regardless of their mobility issues. The school has ramps to all buildings and flat door entryways to allow easy movement. The doors open to accommodate wheelchair access. The classroom desks may be raised or lowered as needed. An elevator is planned to allow easy access to the second floor.

A fully equipped Educational Therapy room has been purposely designed to address therapies including speech and language, sensory integration and educational therapies that may be needed for our students. The staff at Anthos House are carefully chosen for their experience and passion. They not only have degrees in Education and Special Education Needs (SEN), but many have also pursued higher education and possess Master’s and doctorates in this field. More than qualifications, the staff at Anthos House have a passion for working with children with a range of needs. They care and nurture; they support and encourage.

4. Let’s look at the policy environment in Nigeria.

How would you say this has helped or hindered special education in the country?

Our hope is that this will serve as an incentive for the government to do more to support children and families with their struggle to find services and resources for all children in Nigeria who have special needs. | 13 |

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5. Talking specifically about Anthos, what challenges/ pushbacks do you face in the establishment and running of the school?

We have been very fortunate and have found qualified and experienced staff, both local and international .

The specific resources required for supporting our students have had to come mostly from overseas which is somewhat of a challenge.

6. How does the government perceive what you are doing here at Anthos in terms of the tax policies? We mean does government see the school primarily as a public service or a business venture?

our children. Educating ourselves, family and our community will help as education is power and once we all understand that possibilities are there and support is available the struggle is no longer theirs alone.

11. Given the inadequate attention to special needs education in Nigeria, how large is your school at the moment, and what are your plans for growth?

We are quite small at the moment, currently, we have about 20 students both full-time day, full-time boarding and part-time students. We plan to continue to grow methodically.

Not sure how it will be viewed but with the recent judgement that educational institutions are not tax exempt - it will be interesting to have the opinion of the tax authorities.

Anthos House currently occupies one floor of a 3floor building. We are planning an elevator, so all floors will be accessible to all and will be able to accommodate approximately 250 students over the coming months and years.

7. Let’s talk about collaboration. How much of this does the school enjoy with governments, NGOs, the media and CSOs?

12. What learning, behavioural, social or professional outcomes can we expect from a child who has been to your school?

Anthos has been able to partner with like-minded organizations, schools and agencies that also support families and children with special needs.

Some of our children will move on to vocational colleges around the world, some will take their place in the workplace.

8. How do you create public awareness for people to understand what you do here in Anthos House and thus avoid embarking on education/health tourism in a bid to manage autistic children?

Others will become entrepreneurs offering employment opportunities, while others will simply enjoy the opportunity to live independently or with support.

We are committed to educating our community and the public at large by participating in health fairs, educational fairs and by working with the media to spread the truth about what SEN is and to demystify the perception of special needs children.

The aim is for all of them will become competent functional members of the community who, live, work, shop and vote.

9. How can individuals and the society support children with special needs to make them independent and well integrated into society?

Policy formulation and grants for training therapists.

We can all support this cause by giving an opportunity for SEN children to work, live and participate in society without prejudice or stigma as a diagnosis does not define who they are.

We want people to spread the word about the need to support children or adults with need and help in whatever way to integrate them into the community.

13. How can government help your work?

14. How can parents and people help?

10. Some parents find it hard to accept that their children may have special needs? What advice do you have for such parents for the overall benefit of the affected children?

15. Looking at the investment into Anthos House, the fees are unlikely to be cheap. What are your plans for indigent parents to have access to some of the privileges in Anthos House? Do you plan to grant scholarships in the future?

No parent wants to hear that his or her child may struggle. Early intervention is the key to supporting

As the awareness grows – I hope we will be able to get sponsorship for indigent students.

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| 14 |

Dr. Mrs. Delphine Misan-Arenyeka, Mrs. Lai Koiki, and Mrs. Angela Emuwa at the official opening of Anthos House.

inspiring interviews Cross section of Guests at opening of Anthos House.

a selection of photographs from anthos event Ms. Helen Brocklesby - Director of Education, Anthos House.

Anthos House students performing at the event.

Dr. Kimberley Scollard, Guests and some Trustees of RDSF.

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inspiring interviews

interview with dr. kimberley scollard (head of school)

“We Prepare Our Students to Take Their Place in Society as Employers and Employees�

1. As the head of Anthos House, kindly share with us your background and experience in working with children with special needs.

individualized education based on their abilities and needs. As the Head of School, I am responsible for the day-to-day running of the school.

I began my school career as a school psychologist.

Over the years, I have been a class teacher, specialist teacher administrator and a principal.

3. Looking at the Nigerian environment and your experience elsewhere, do you think we are properly equipped to dispense special education effectively in Nigeria?

I have always recognized the need for schools to have a support department that addresses the varying needs of students that cannot be met in the mainstream classroom.

There has been some growth in this area; however, much more is needed.

2. Can you tell us a bit about the mission of Anthos House and your role in the school?

4. On a national scale, how big is the issue you are dealing with in Anthos House and how can we lessen the risks of families coming up with this sort of result?

Anthos House was designed to support students with mild to moderate special education needs. We provide the opportunity for our students to receive an

No one has control over occurrence. All families should be aware of the developmental milestones so | 16 |

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that when a child does not meet certain milestones the parents may seek interventions that will support their child.

5. How old is Anthos House and can you share with us the difference the school has made since it was established?

Anthos House opened its doors on September 17, 2018. I believe we have helped educate the general public about this issue as well as providing a place where young people may continue their education and get real, life skills and preparation to enter the adult world and further education.

We also provide assessments and feedback to families and schools regarding a child’s diagnosis or issues along with the occupational and educational therapies, speech and language therapy that may be required to support the student. We also offer training for teachers, schools and families to help support SEN children at home and in the community.

6. What has been your experience working with children with special needs?

I have been privileged to work with children all over the world many who have had a variety of learning and SEN challenges since I began my career.

7. How should parents and siblings deal with children with special needs at home?

Children with SEN require the same love, attention, support and opportunities as all children do.

Education is the key to understanding a child or sibling’s unique needs. All family members need to be engaged and have a positive attitude and educate themselves.

8. What are the signs to look out for in a child that may have special needs or need special attention with learning?

All parents and teachers should be aware of the developmental milestones for children from birth.

Early intervention is the key to supporting any possible issue a child may be facing.

9. Why do you think some parents find it hard to admit that their children require special attention to learn?

It is difficult to hear anything about your child that you think will make their life more challenging. In an THINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2019

environment that does not understand the uniqueness of our children makes it even more difficult.

There are also issues such as judgement by the uninformed, societal pressure to have the “perfect child”, misunderstandings around a child’s issues, fear, and worry for the future.

10. What is the curriculum offered at Anthos House and how does this prepare them for life after Anthos House?

Anthos House offers a broad and balanced curriculum that includes traditional subjects like Math, English, ICT, Art, PE, along with functional Math and English, Life skills and preparing for adulthood.

We also offer ASDAN programmes and diplomas, which cover a wide variety of specialist courses and pathways to higher education -Interesting courses and entrepreneurial pursuits.

We are preparing many of our students to take their place in society as employers and employees.

11. How do you select the children for admission to the school?

When a parent seeks admission for their child, first and foremost we meet the child. We then look at supporting documents, assessments, and school reports to see where this child is coming from.

We do our own evaluations to understand the needs of the child and to ensure we have programmes that will support their current and future needs.

12. What special training must a teacher receive before he can handle with children with special needs?

All our teachers have a degree in education as well as advanced degrees in SEN and related fields.

13. Finally, what support does this school need from all government, parents and the society in general?

First, the recognition that a diagnosis does not define who a person is or will become. Second, education is the key to a change of mindset that will foster acceptance of all children and their uniqueness.

14. What is the expectation of the Anthos team for these children after their experience?

We expect them to become functioning members of society and be able to access all possible opportunities without prejudice. | 17 |

inspiring interviews

interview with mrs. angela emuwa (a parent whose child currently attends anthos house) 1. As a mum, what did you notice in your child that made you think of providing special education and how early did you notice it?

When Chidubem was born, everything was fine and he was meeting his milestones as expected. All this started to change around the age of 18 months. He had had about 20 words in his vocabulary but it seemed as if the words were starting to “disappear”.

At home, someone would call him but unlike before, he wouldn’t respond. So we considered the possibility that he might have a hearing problem and his paediatrician arranged for him to have his hearing tested by an audiologist. When the results came out, his hearing was perfect. So we knew there was a problem and immediately set about finding a solution.

This was when we learnt about early intervention – the sooner one starts, the better the result.

2. What will you say are the signs that parents should watch out for?

Some of the signs to look out for include: • Gradual loss of speech or no speech by the age of two • Appearing not to hear when his/her name is called • Preferring to be alone – not interested in other children. Also not playing with toys appropriately – for example, likes to line toys up in a row.

• Repetitive behaviours as well as limited interests or activities • Attention difficulties.

• Doesn’t point at an object of interest – would rather take you there • Avoids eye contact • Doesn’t imitate actions or words

full potential. And that is what has helped me cope – the love and the knowledge that with consistency he is learning all the time at his own unique pace. Over the years, I’ve learnt that one must never ever give up or limit a child with special needs.

Never assume he can’t do this or that or will never be able to achieve certain goals. You have to try and if he doesn’t seem to be getting there, you move the goal post nearer.

He has had a lot of behavioural therapy and it’s still ongoing. He has learnt how to regulate his behaviour to some extent and that makes it easier to cope when we go out for instance.

In addition to this, we have always watched his diet – no fizzy drinks except soda water that has zero sugar and which he has grown to love, no food with artificial colouring or MSG. He is also on a gluten-free, wheatfree and dairy-free (casein) diet.

I also maintain a close relationship with his tutors and teachers so that there is continuity and we are all on the same page. Whatever he’s learning in school must be reinforced at home. Everyone at home is ‘on board with the programme’ from his siblings to the cook and the security guards.

3. What in your opinion is the right time for children with special needs to be exposed to special education?

The right time for special children to be exposed to special education is IMMEDIATELY you notice there is a problem. Even if it turns out to be a false alarm (and you will find out soon enough), it is better to err on the side of caution.

4. We expect that it will be challenging to raise a child with special needs. How do you cope?

Yes, it is quite challenging but through it all, the love I have for him is unquantifiable. I want the best for him and will do everything I can to help him reach his

“I’m super proud of how far he has come...”

5. How did you handle social stigmatization?

It wasn’t really hard for me because I was more concerned about his progress than about what people might think or say. As far as I’m concerned, he has the same rights as any other Nigerian citizen, the right to be in any public space. I’m super proud of how far he has come and even though he might do something that might be considered “embarrassing”, I | 18 |

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have never, ever been ashamed of him.

If we are in public and he does something inappropriate, I correct him firmly but in a way that lets him and any observer know how much I care about him. I would never, ever consider locking him away or hiding him from visitors when they come.

All our relatives and family friends know Chidubem and his diagnosis. If they have a problem with it after we try to enlighten them, “bye bye”! I don’t have time for that. But really, no one has stayed away as far as I can recall.

6. Talking about finance, how has this added to your family financial burden?

It has definitely added to the family’s financial burden but it’s a sacrifice we are happy to make. We would never compromise on anything for Chidubem. We always want the best for him and we will do everything we can to make sure he gets it.

introduction of the ASDAN Courses means that he’s learning more practical and relevant things to help him maximize his potential and also become employable in the future.

He is showing more interest in seeing how things are done instead of waiting to see the end result. Anthos House is also giving him the opportunity to explore different things to help determine his areas of interest. For instance, the different musical instruments that he is exposed to or the cooking classes (who knows he could become a chef!) etc.

9. As individuals and as a society what can we all do to support children with special needs and their families too?

Stop the stigma. Children with special needs and people living with disabilities are already at a disadvantage without other people picking on them.

Stealing, beating people up, etc. is a crime - living with a disability isn’t. It’s just a reality of life. Our children are equally entitled to the best possible quality of life. Also, do not “tolerate” and show pity or sympathy. What they need is understanding and empathy. Appreciate the fact that we are all different and educate yourself – make it a point of duty to find out more about the condition of these special people that make up your community.

Support the family living with a disability when you can – it’s already hard enough coping with this situation without being shunned. You will be surprised at how helpful and productive they can be given the chance.

7. How did you find out about Anthos School? And what will you say are the benefits Anthos has over sending your child abroad?

Chidubem started in Greensprings at the age of about 21 months and was there (attached to the Learning Support Unit) until he graduated last year at the age of 17. It was during the last couple of years that we were informed about Greensprings’ intention to set up Anthos House. You can’t imagine how delighted I was!

8. What changes and improvements have you noticed in your child since attending Anthos School?

Chidubem is showing more signs of independence.

This is something we have been working on all along and Anthos House is building on this. Also, the THINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2019

Mrs. Angela Emuwa is the current Chairperson of Punch Newspapers Nigeria.

She is the immediate past Chairperson, Golden Hearts Touching Lives Initiative, a Non-Governmental Organisation that caters for indigent persons with special needs and is the President, Autism Parents Association International, an NGO for Nigerian parents with autistic children. She sits on the Board of other companies and she is married with children. | 19 |

inspiring interviews

“Educating a Special Needs Child Is No Walk in the Park”

my story - dr. mrs. delphine misan-arenyeka fimc, cmc, miod Dr. Mrs. Delphine Misan-Arenyeka has vast experience that spans over 35 years working on various projects involving international, local and private sector clients. She is currently the Executive Director of Startrite Mayton and Company Nigeria Limited, a position she has held for 29 years where she has carried out extensive development studies in collaboration with many international organizations – UNICEF, UNDP, DFID, USAID, IFC, The European Union and World Bank. Her passion for special needs persons has endeared her to working with and supporting various centres and NGOs. She is married with two children. | 20 |

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BACKGROUND First of all, I would like to give some background on my walk so far on this road.

I am one of those women who waited quite a while to get married and I was blessed with my first child almost immediately after marriage. We desired to have more children but it didn’t happen as planned and by the time I was 42, I got pregnant and gave birth to our second and last child. Naturally, we were elated having lost three previous pregnancies. This last pregnancy, as you can imagine, was high risk to me considering my age and history, so my doctor was extra careful. That was a trying period for me as I had to be confined most of the time and I had all kinds of issues from a gall bladder infection, irregular heartbeats, bleeding, to constant dull contractions due to adhesions in my uterus from a previous myomectomy to remove fibroids.

My beautiful son was born by Caesarean section prematurely because of the risks to me and although slightly jaundiced, he was doing great. I did not get to see him until a day after because he was in the

He seemed to have recurring upper respiratory tract infections and was on one antibiotic after another.

We also noticed that although he was meeting some milestones, he walked at fifteen months. This to us was a bit slow because his older brother walked at nine months. Interestingly, both my sons did not crawl but simply got up and walked. The paediatrician kept assuring us that children are different. I am one to ask loads and loads of questions and I thought I was asking all the right questions. He was such a beautiful baby, although a boy, most people thought he was a girl because he had such a full head of hair and it was thick and curly, we probably didn’t pick up the features.

We were on vacation with family when my brother in law (a medical doctor) and my sister cleverly arranged a doctor’s visit. That was where the journey began. Tests confirmed Down’s syndrome. Before coming back home, we started making enquiries about care and management. The doctor had told us in the UK that we were not entirely to beat ourselves up; in his words, you needed a trained eye to see this and pick up on the signs, as his features were not so apparent.

We came home and continued making enquiries. By that time he was 20 months old. We knew that early intervention was key and from as early as 6 months which we had lost. We wanted to hit the ground running but sadly there was so little to go by. The doctor and educational psychologist had also advised us to put him in a mainstream school with school support (meaning a special needs trained teacher working with him alongside in the classroom.)

Finding that was tough and we ended up in Curatia Education run by Bimbo Sotuminu. They were able to provide support thrice weekly during his preschool years. By this time, we had decided to move him from the playschool he was enrolled at Greensprings School since his older brother was there and the school had a learning support unit. Also, the preschool years at Greensprings is Montessori based, it helped to build a very good foundation for him.

incubator and I needed to be managed post-delivery.

We had no reason to be concerned because our baby was doing well. Ironically, the paediatrician present during the surgery queried Down’s Syndrome but never mentioned it to us. As our son grew, we noticed that he snored slightly and had obstructive sleep apnea.

THINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2019

At Greensprings School, he has an Individual Educational Plan (IEP). This was designed to arrange and map out his learning. This includes extracurricular activities like art and craft, swimming, speech and language therapy, educational and occupational therapy, core subjects, English, maths science, life science (home economics) and ICT. Because he is now in secondary school, he also does drama. Subjects with practical components like biology, chemistry, physics and such subjects are out! | 21 |

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“The good thing was that I spent time in prayer because I was all alone most of the days”

This is because he is a visual learner and even the subjects he is taught involves a lot of visual materials.

Greensprings School is one that is ever looking to improve and engage all students; the learning support unit is staffed with well-trained professionals.

Parents must never shy away from the challenges that special needs children will present. I always say allow yourself to grieve over whatever you believe you have lost (and it is different for everybody) and please wake up and smell the coffee.

For the sake of the child, begin to look at the possibilities because every child has strong and we must, just like with every child (special needs or not), you must find that x-factor and develop it in them so they can be valuable to the society and live great lives.

My goal is that my son will live a full life and as independently as he can. Often times, we find parents are wallowing in self-pity and thinking that life has dealt them a devastating blow so we throw our arms up in the air.

Personally, I know that my faith in God is what drives me. Knowing that He does all things well, He will not let us have what is too much to bear. Our son is a blessing to us and has taught us depths of love we never knew we were capable of.

COSTS Educating a special needs child is no walk in the park.

It is a very expensive venture and can impoverish families particularly where money is tight. Medical care, particularly for very severe cases, can be prohibitive. Our son had to have an adenoidectomy and grommets had to be inserted in his ears to correct the glue ear when he was two years old and it cost almost £10,000 at that time.

After that, we thought we should try spending time in therapy sessions in the UK and I spent an additional five months in the UK after his surgery. Speech therapy was £70 per hour and we did that daily for the five months, playschool was three times a week for five hours and cost £130 per week and then because it was in the dead of winter, transport to and back was £12 a day.

Realize that I could not work (I am very careful not to break laws). I had left a thriving business, an 11-year -old who had just gone into secondary school and was struggling with puberty and pre-teen issues and a husband who was still really just getting grips of all we were up against. To say that was a very difficult time for us is an understatement. The good thing was that I spent time in prayer because I was all alone most of the days. As to be expected, I came home to a business that was barely hanging on by a thin thread because the staff performance was poor. My husband | 22 |

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was in paid employment at that time and could not devote the kind of time he so desired to it, and to a son who wondered about many things and began to struggle with school work. A top-grade student became just above average. A mother’s presence, guidance and love in a child’s life should never be taken lightly. Nobody had to tell me that I needed to come back home and fast!

We continued with Greensprings School when I got back. One thing I learnt is that the child needs to be in an environment where he is loved, accepted and allowed to thrive regardless of whether it is at home or abroad. That is what we have provided for our sons in our home. Also, the professionals who can provide care and management of the children are very expensive. A support teacher can cost as much as N200,000 per month. This is aside from the regular school fees. A school providing such support can charge as much as 40 per cent over and above regular fees for a special needs student. Many of the centres run services with flexible fees or get sponsorships for scholarships to indigent students. It can be so heartbreaking to have to send a child away because the finances of the centres and support units are so stretched beyond limits.

SOCIAL STIGMA Social stigma is something I guess we will have to keep advocating against because it is multidimensional. Our culture, beliefs, taboos and social status fuel social stigma. I have had to tell someone who refused to sit beside me at the international airport on an outbound flight that we don’t bite! This woman by all standards looked educated, was well dressed and her children looked well kept! We have been refused seats in a place of worship in a very cosmopolitan church but, the truth is, I don’t care because I will take my time to educate the people involved. I personally believe that the adults are the worst offenders because they tell their children not to go near persons with special needs. I had a parent refuse for my son to attend her son’s birthday party despite the fact that the young man so desired to have him there. What do you say to such people or to a parent who wanted my son removed from the class because her daughter was in that class! You shake it off and move on.

ADVOCACY In the last couple of years, I have dedicated myself to advocating for parents and children with special needs because I know that it is not an easy road and I wonder how many people can afford a Greensprings school or Anthos House, which runs into millions per annum. There are so many families with special needs THINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2019

children who can barely feed themselves how much more pay even N1000 for their wards. Many have been thrown out of their homes, and others have their marriages broken. Those who were even in a good place financially have spent all and become impoverished. The stories are heart-breaking!

I have seen thousands of parents who are in despair, despondent and live in the most horrific conditions with their children in total hopelessness. Many are presenting severe mental health conditions as a result of being primary caregivers to their children.

Recently, a Human Rights Watch team sought me out and we had two weeks together looking at what they call “shackling”. Yes, children shackled like animals and sometimes caged! Some of the places visited were just unimaginable and the stories were heartbreaking. Returning to New York, the team leader keeps asking if the government has any role in creating safety nets for these persons. Your guess is as good as mine on that and I don’t even want to go there.

Over the years, it has been a passion to do something no matter how insignificant it may seem to those watching. So I started out working with the various service providers who themselves are parents operating under very difficult situations, spending their own resources to provide care for children and adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities. I gave seminars, organized meetings, etc, just to advocate. This somehow just grew exponentially.

Year 2015 saw a group of us organizing a hugely successful international conference on disabilities with the AISSAIDD academy. First ever in Africa! I am so proud of that. Four days with halls overflowing and parents, service providers, professionals and interest groups from all over the country with the new government well represented and thirteen international speakers in attendance.

PROJECTS We saw many low hanging fruits and one of which is empowering parents economically and engaging in continuous advocacy and education. We realized that so many parents had no idea that their children can be managed well enough for them to live decently and for the parents to have a life. Therefore, for two years, we (It was my idea but I needed a platform to run it since I don’t have an NGO registered or a centre. I am just a voice crying in the wilderness about special needs, I partnered with Children’s Developmental Centre (CDC) in Surulere) conceptualized a programme mainly for parents and, to our greatest joy, a corporate organization gave a nod to partner with us. So far, we have organized the parents’ groups | 23 |

inspiring interviews into cooperatives, assessed their needs, trained them in basic money management skills and for some, entrepreneurial skills, engaged them in home therapy methods for their children and by next week, funds will be released to the cooperatives for the individuals to run their businesses. It is a year’s project so they have the money to trade for the year. Yes, there are risks but where isn’t there? This project is sponsored to the tune of N10 million by an FMCG company. (I am not sure that I am allowed to mention their name without their consent). So far we have five cooperatives funded with a membership of about 100 parents and we have three in the process of completing their registration and training before further disbursements. The cooperative members have to be parents of children with intellectual and developmental disabilities which include autism, cerebral palsy, spinal bifida and hydrocephalus, Down’s Syndrome, ADHD, Asperger’s syndrome, and the mild ones like dyslexia, dysgraphia, dyscalculia. This is so because this is the cluster that is completely relegated to the background even in the disability space. The project is tagged “we too can grow” We are also in the process of collaborating with some educational institutions to establish affordable institutions where these children (many of whom are becoming young adults) can learn useful skills that will make them employable. We are making good progress and a couple of persons who are philanthropists have indicated providing grants for scholarships. Super exciting! The work is enormous but not impossible.

December 2017, with the formidable team from Trinity House (my place of worship), we were able to have a Christmas celebration for the parents and children where we gave out raw food items (rice, vegetable oil, salt, milk, tea, loaves of bread, etc.), six yards each of Ankara clothing for over 1000 parents and their children. At some point, we left and the president of the parents association reported to me that they were there till after 6 pm still giving out items we had brought. We had more than twice the number of children who were fed, watered and had gifts from Santa Claus.

Trust me, we also gave out Bibles. I am unashamedly sold to ministering God’s word. It was amazing how a gesture we thought was small changed lives. Those parents saw love in action. Some of them were in tears and some could not even understand why we were doing all of that for them. When you realize that these parents are all alone, abandoned by their families and friends because they are labelled as witches, outcasts and vilified by the very society that should embrace them, you begin to understand their reactions.

On the 13th of December 2018, we did it again, reached many more families (over 200 children and 500 parents) with the joy of Christmas and shared the reason for the season with them regardless of their faith.

It was daunting and with the economic clime, challenging but we did it. My wonderful friend like a sister, Tera Onyemaka, and our team from Trinity House (care clinic unit where I am active) was as always ready to help me and a couple of people gave donations in cash and kind.

I have come to realize that much as I feel that I am giving over 75 per cent of my time to this work that is in no way financially beneficial to me, rather we tend to fund many of the projects; I cannot seem to shake myself off it. Yes, my business is not receiving the attention it should, but I have never lacked and I am thankful for that.

Early this year, I was asked to put in proposals for support by a friend of mine and we hope to use these funds for educational empowerment to ensure that our children can go to schools where they will get the support that they need.

Next steps will be the training of the paraprofessionals to scale up their competencies and get good certifications to ensure that they are competent to provide care as they would anywhere in the world. | 24 |

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ANTHOS HOUSE We are not yet in Anthos House because we want our son to finish year 11 in the mainstream school even though he will not be at par educationally with his peers but the school support system in the learning support unit is great and these children need to be emotionally ready for the move. Distance is a factor (we live on the mainland; Anthos is on the island), we will want him to board so we have to prepare him for that even though he has been brought up to look after himself.

However, I was very involved in the birthing of Anthos because one of the speakers at the 2015 conference, Prof George Haggerty, and his wife are involved in running a private college for special needs children in Florida and a group of us thought we could replicate that in Nigeria. Of course, with a wonderful visionary like Mrs Lai Koiki, we engaged them, she visited and we went back and forth but the conditions were just not favourable to us. To our joy, Mrs Koiki picked up from there and she and her team began looking at the “what next” stage for our children who have no support after secondary school.

Most just end up sitting at home and at times, retrogressing.

“Only recently, Mr President finally signed the disability rights bill after decades in the National Assembly.”

GOVERNMENT You may ask where we are with the government. I can tell you that in the Ambode administration, I was in many meetings and some programmes with the Special Adviser on Social Development and she was invited and attended our own programmes. Seeing the success of our project with the cooperatives, we were asked to design the same for the state government which we did but that was the end of it.

State governments have a lot to do. In my opinion and based purely on my interactions with the state officials and some state-owned schools, a lot of lip service is being paid to special needs care and management. It is laudable that Lagos State pioneered the Special People’s law which is a very well thought-out document but leaves much to be THINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2019

desired in implementation. Only recently, Mr President finally signed the Disability Rights Bill after decades in the National Assembly. We wait with bated breath to see about implementation.

NGOs There are quite a number of NGOs and centres or service providers in the country. Many of them are set up and run by parents of special needs children who felt that they could not sit down and do nothing.

They have travelled this road, seen the sharp bends, the frustrations and the pain as well as the successes with the management of their own children and have purposed to open their lives to serve others.

I can tell you that it is sometimes so unappreciated and thankless. Passion is what drives them. Some have been here twenty plus years struggling with little or no assistance from government and running on lean donations from friends, family and sometimes, organizations that are looking into CSR projects.

Personally, I tend to work with all the service providers in the intellectual and developmental disability space. I have had to facilitate seminars, training during the various programmes with the Down Syndrome Foundation Nigeria, I work with Patrick’s Speech and Languages Centre during their quarterly parents’ outreach programmes offering counselling to parents.

On such occasions, I guarantee you, there are many tears and raw emotions. And, of course, Children’s Developmental Centre with the parents' summits, and the cooperatives.

CONCLUSION I am hopeful to see more parents embrace their children because I have come to learn of very wealthy individuals who have special needs children that are not so much as mentioned. Some are in special places abroad being looked after (money covers up the stigma) and some are too ashamed and more conscious of their status.

I am also hopeful that the recently passed Disability Bill will be implemented and will not go the way of the Lagos State Special People’s Law, which is a brilliant document on paper but in terms of implementation, leaves much to be seen.

I believe God gives special children to special people and, therefore, consider it a privilege to be used by Him. | 25 |

H

REHOBOTH DREAM SOLID FOUNDATION (RDSF) 2019 EVENTS

ighlighted below is a list of events scheduled by the Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation (RDSF) for 2019. Detailed information and updates on each event will be posted on our social media pages and website closer to the time. Kindly follow us on facebook and instagram for updates on any event that may be of interest to you and check out our website for more information. Also, if you would like to volunteer for any of these events kindly send an email out to rehobothdream@gmail.com

Proposed Dates: 3rd–10th May 2019 Location: Benin Event: Regional Soft Skill Training, Interview Skills and Career Seminar for Secondary School Students

Proposed Dates: 24th–31st May 2019 Location: Owerri, Imo State Event: Regional Soft Skill Training, Interview Skills and Career Seminar for Secondary School Students

Proposed Dates: 15th August 2019 Location: Lagos State Event: RDSF ANNUAL LECTURE & Teachers Excellence Award (2nd Edition)

Ways to partner with RDSF 1. One-Time Donation You can give one-time donation through a transfer to the Foundation’s account 2. Pledge Sponsors can also make a pledge to give some money to the Foundation on a regular basis (weekly, monthly, quarterly, biannually or annually). Such sponsors will just send an email with details of the pledge and credit the Foundation’s account.

3. Adopt a student scheme Under this scheme, the prospective sponsor will work with the Foundation to identify an indigent student who will be adopted and sponsored for the full academic programme. The sponsor can choose to be anonymous or meet the beneficiary. Here the sponsor will be provided with a periodic statement of the beneficiary’s academic performance.

4. Sponsor a Workshop/ Training/ Event Sponsors can also choose to support any of our annual events like the Annual Lecture and Teachers ’ Excellence Award or support the skill acquisition programme organized for indigent Secondary School Students to equip them with relevant ICT and soft skills.

Proposed Dates: 11th–18th October 2019 Location: Abuja, FCT Event: Regional Interview Skills, Career Seminar and Skills Acquisition Workshop for Secondary School Students

Proposed Dates: 1st – 8th November 2019 Location: Lagos State & Ogun State Event: Regional Interview Skills, Career Seminar and Skills Acquisition Workshop for Secondary School Students | 26 |

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PERSONAL INFORMATION: Title:_______________ First Name:__________________________________________________________________ Last Name:________________________________________________________________________________________ Occupation:________________________________________________________________________________________ Address:___________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Email Address:____________________________________________________________________________________ Telephone number:_______________________________________________________________________________

Please tick your preferred option and notify RDSF using the contact details below: ADOPT A STUDENT SCHEME: Under this scheme, the prospective sponsor will work with the Foundation to identify an indigent student who will be adopted and sponsored for the full academic program. The sponsor can choose to be anonymous or decide to meet the beneficiary. Under this scheme, the sponsor will be provided with periodic updates of the beneficiary’s academic performance.

DONATE BY CHEQUE: Please complete this form, and include a signed cheque payable to “Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation”.

STANDING ORDER / PERIODIC DONATION: You can make periodic donations by instructing your bank to make regular transfers using the bank details below. Please add the transfer reference ‘RDSFTA2018’.

ONE-OFF DONATION: You can make a one-off donation by direct bank transfer using the bank details below.

Please add the transfer reference ‘RDSFTA2018’.

Account name: Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation Bank: First Bank Nigeria Account Number: 2015884815 Sort Code: 011152442

CONTACT US: Please contact us for any assistance or additional information to aid your sponsorship or donation.

Phone: Call RDSF on +2348079407057 Email: Scan and send the completed form to rehobothdream@gmail.com Post: Return the completed form to P O Box 51843, Falomo-Lagos, Nigeria.

THINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2019

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rdsf board of trustees

the rehoboth dream solid foundation board of trustees Rear Admiral Oladeinde (‘Deinde) Olusoga Joseph was born at Ara-Moko, Ekiti State into the humble family of late Mr. Joseph Owolabi and late Mrs. Ajibabi Owolabi on the 9th of May 1948.

He enlisted into the Nigerian Navy in July 1967 and later graduated from the Nigerian Defence Academy Kaduna and was commissioned as a Sub -Lieutenant in July 1971 in India. He received professional training as a naval officer in India, United Kingdom and the United States of America. Rear Admiral Joseph is a graduate of the Nigeria Command and Staff College Jaji and the prestigious National Institute for Policy and Strategic Studies Kuru.

As a professional naval officer, he went through all the ranks in the Navy until he was promoted to the full Rear Admiral rank in 1998. While in the Navy, he had 4 sea commands, which included that of NNS Aradu (the Navy’s flag ship), 2 Training bases and 2 Operational bases. He had 2 tours at Jaji Staff College as Chief Instructor and Director of the Naval Faculty. He was also the Military Governor of Ogun State between 1990 and 1992. His last job was Chief of Navy Personnel at Naval Headquarters until he retired in June 1999.

Married to Mrs. Katherine Lolade Joseph since April 1975, Rear Admiral ‘Deinde Joseph is blessed with 3 children; Toyin (now Mrs. Borisade), and the boys Seyi and Jide, all University graduates. His hobbies are photography, reading and he is a handicap 9 golfer. A practicing Christian of Methodist Church of the Trinity, Tinubu since 1967, he has a passion to help the less privileged in the society.

Rear Admiral Joseph is a recipient of the National Honour of the Commander of the Order Of the Niger (CON), and brings his experience and goodwill to the Foundation as the Chairman, Board of Trustees of the Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation.

Ms. Ketumi Alasa was born on 12th February 1956 and hails from the Etsako West Local Government Area of Edo State. She had her tertiary education (HND Computer Science) from the Sheffield City Polytechnic, England. Her work life commenced with her NYSC, during which she served with The Shell Petroleum Development Company of Nigeria Ltd. in Lagos between 1979 and 1980.

Thereafter, she worked for Royal Exchange Assurance as a Computer Programmer from 1980 to 1981. She was also employed by Delta Steel Company Aladja as a Computer Programmer/ Analyst developing and maintaining computer applications from 1981-1984.

In 1984, she was employed by The Shell Petroleum Development Company of Nigeria Ltd as a Computer Programmer Analyst in the Information Technology department. She worked with Shell until 2008 when she retired after a successful and rewarding career.

Since retirement, with her strong entrepreneurial skills, she has been running a business of furniture, household and home decorative items. She has 5 kids, 4 of whom have successfully completed their university education. In her leisure time, she enjoys gospel music and playing golf, for which she has won numerous awards.

She is a devoted Christian with a deep passion for missionaries and their families. She loves to extend help and support to the less privileged. Ms. Ketumi Alasa is a Trustee of the Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation.

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rdsf board of trustees Deacon Samson Madu Igbokwe is a 1983 B.Pharm Graduate of Pharmacy from the former University of Ife (Unife), now known as Obafemi Awolowo University (OAU). In addition, he gained a Masters in Business Administration Degree (MBA) from the University of Lagos (Unilag) in 2000. He also acquired a Certificate of Proficiency in Information Systems Management (CPISM).

Shortly after his Youth Service Corp at Military Hospital Lagos, he set up his own pharmacy business at S.W. Ikoyi, Lagos in 1985 which he has been running as Chairman/Managing Director till date. This is a company that supplies and distributes pharmaceuticals to its community and hospitals in Lagos State.

A devout and practicing Christian, he gave his life to Christ on March 31, 1991 in The Redeemed Evangelical Mission (TREM), Akoka. Since then, he has served in various capacities in TREM as House Fellowship Centre Leader, Zonal Leader, Assistant Area Co-coordinator and Financial Secretary/Treasurer of Caleb Group of the Christian Men Fellowship.

He is currently serving as the Chairman Hospital Visitation Ministry in TREM. He is a member of Pharmaceutical Society of Nigeria (PSN) and a Treasurer at Ikoyi Pharmacy Community Zone. He has passion for contributing to his community, and often assists in reaching out to orphans, the fatherless and widows in the community.

Periodically, he visits in a group and prays for the sick in hospitals in Lagos, ministering to their spiritual, physical and material needs. He is happily married to his amiable wife Mrs. Roseline Igbokwe and they have 5 children. Deacon Samson Igbokwe is a Trustee of the Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation.

Deaconess Roseline Igbokwe was born on November 2, 1965 in Ikoyi, Lagos, and is married to Pharmacist Samson M. Igbokwe.

She is an alumna of Sikkim Manipal University (SMU), Gangtok, India and the University of Lagos (UNILAG); Bsc. in Applied Information Technology, Business Administration and Masters in Business Administration(MBA) from the same institution.

She holds a Certificate of Proficiency in Information Systems Management (CPISM), Advanced Diploma in Systems Engineering (ADSE), Certificate in Strategies for Managing and Collecting Data (LBS) and Certificate in Core Sales Skills (LCT). She worked with Texaco Nigeria Plc as well as Chevron Oil Nigeria Plc as Food Mart Supervisor, Senior Retail Business Consultant, South, and then MRS Oil Nigeria Plc as District Sales Manager, Southwest Nigeria, Credit Control Manager for Nigeria, Aviation Commercial, Retail Sales Manager for Southeast/Southwest Nigeria and Head, Sales & Marketing. Nigeria.

A hard worker with enthusiasm for excellence, in 2006 she won the ‘African Pakistan Global Downstream 2006 Cultural Award, of Customer Facing and Market Focused ’ in Chevron, having executed superior and consistent execution and sales implementation of all programs, processes and systems.

She had focused the department’s organization around achieving the best business financial targets through an agreed set of Profit & Loss control measures in all MRS Oil Nigeria Plc service stations in Nigeria.

She is an ordained minister with The Redeemed Evangelical Mission (TREM): and at various times has held the following positions: Assistant Secretary, Young Women Fellowship; Assistant Secretary, Christian Women Fellowship and Chairman Disciplinary Committee of the Evangel Voices Choir and Team Lead with the Christian Women Fellowship. Deaconess Roseline Igbokwe is also a Trustee of the Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation.

She is blessed with (5) five children. | 30 |

A QUARTERLY MAGAZINE

rdsf board of trustees Pastor (Dr.) Joshua Gbadebo Opadiya is the Senior Pastor of Every Nation Church Sydney, Australia, a worldwide family of churches and ministries.

He is currently serving as the Hub Leader of the Oceania (Australia, New Zealand, Papa New Guinea and Fiji) overseeing the ‘Every Nation churches and ministries in the Oceania region.

Pastor (Dr.) Opadiya previously lectured in the Lagos State University, Nigeria for 6 years, before moving with his family to Innsbruck in Austria where he lived for almost 6 years. Thereafter, the family moved to Sydney Australia in 1999 where together with his wife, Dr. Mrs. Opadiya started the ‘Every Nation Church.

He received his bachelor’s and master’s degrees from the reputable University of Ibadan in Nigeria and holds a doctorate degree in Ecotoxicology from the Technical University, Innsbruck, Austria. Pastor (Dr.) Opadiya has a burden to raise godly leaders and see the nations return to Jesus Christ. He has travelled and ministered in several nations worldwide.

Pastor (Dr.) Opadiya's passion is to connect with young adults and adults alike who are leaders, peacemakers and bridge builders in their colleges, universities and in their communities. His life has been dedicated to this cause, reaching out, equipping, counseling and mentoring. He is also the dean of Every Nation Leadership Institute, a part-time program that is purposefully designed to provide discipleship training and biblical teaching for people from all walks of life. Pastor (Dr.) Opadiya and his wife have been married for 31 years.

They are blessed with children. He is a Trustee of the Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation.

Dr. (Mrs.) Yinka Opadiya is a senior pastor with Every Nation Churches and Ministries. Alongside her husband Pastor (Dr) Joshua Opadiya, she oversees the multi -congregational Church organization in Sydney, Australia – a church with members from diverse cultures, age groups and professions.

She is a teacher and motivational speaker with a passion for teaching about God's love and His purpose for humanity. She is also passionate about women and youth ministry; and is committed to mentoring women and young girls.

Her heart-cry is to see ‘the Church’ respond to the Great Commission of ‘making disciples’ and transforming nations. A graduate of the prestigious Universities of Ife and Ibadan in Nigeria, she also holds a Doctorate degree in French (Women Literature) from the University of Innsbruck in Austria. She had worked as a French Lecturer in the Lagos State University and in various schools in Sydney Australia. Dr. (Mrs.) Yinka Opadiya been married for 31 years. They are blessed with children. She is a Trustee of the Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation.

Mrs. Ronke Osikoya holds a law degree (LLB) from the University of Lagos and an MBA (1988) from the same University.

She is a Certified Trainer for the Commonwealth Association on Corporate Governance and has facilitated on the Directors course on Corporate Governance. She is a Management Consultant that co-runs a management consulting firm, Pedion Partnership Limited.

Her values are strongly shaped by her Christian faith and she believes very passionately in supporting the under-privileged, particularly children, which accounts for her involvement with the Foundation.

Mrs. Osikoya is a Trustee of the Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation and lives with her husband and 2 sons in Lagos, Nigeria.

THINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2019

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rdsf board of trustees Mrs. Abimbola Komolafe is a devout Christian who was ordained as a Deaconess of the Redeemed Christian Church of God (RCCG) in the year 2000 and as an Assistant Pastor in August 2013. She served as a Coordinator in the Teens ministry of the Resurrection Parish of the RCCG in Lagos where her passion for supporting the education of the less privileged was birthed .

She is a Chartered Accountant and Chartered Banker and is a Fellow of the Institute of Chartered Accountants of Nigeria (ICAN) and a Fellow of the Chartered Institute of Bankers of Nigeria.

Mrs. Bimbo Komolafe has taken various management, Leadership and professional courses, within and outside Nigeria and is an Alumna of the Lagos Business School. She worked for 9 years in a reputable Merchant Bank in Nigeria and thereafter worked for 20 years with one of the leading Oil and Gas companies in Nigeria. She currently works as a Principal Consultant for Threshold of Trust Nigeria Limited.

Married to Rear Admiral Kehinde Komolafe (Rtd) who is also an Ordained Pastor of the RCCG Nigeria, they are blessed with 3 children. Together with her husband, they are committed to providing financial support to as many less privileged students as they can accommodate. Mrs Bimbo Komolafe is the founder and Executive Secretary of the Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation.

Rear Admiral Kehinde Komolafe (Rtd), is a highly revered and distinguished military officer who served meritoriously with impeccable records in the Nigerian Navy. He graduated from the Nigerian Defence Academy in 1980 and was commissioned as a Naval Officer a year after. Due to his quest for knowledge and passion for competence, he proceeded to study at the University of Nigeria, Nsukka where he graduated in 1985 with a B.Sc. Degree in Accountancy. He attended several courses nationally and overseas and witnessed consistent career growth during his active years in the military.

Rear Admiral Komolafe is a change agent with a commitment to providing transformational leadership and ensuring realignment of processes, operations, resource and people on various integrated fronts for optimum value creation. He held various sensitive positions in the Navy before his voluntarily retirement from the Service after 35 years of meritorious service. He presently sits on the Board of many prestigious organizations. Beyond his Military career, Rear Admiral Kehinde Komolafe (Rtd.) is a lover of God and a Pastor. He is married to Mrs. Abimbola Komolafe and they are blessed with 3 children.

Charity to the less priviledged

Skills Acquisition programmes

Raise funds for the needy

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Supporting the poor

A QUARTERLY MAGAZINE

success story My name is Chinenye Ihejirika, I am from a family of five, the second child and only daughter of my parents. I am from Nkpa in Bende Local Government Area in Abia State. I graduated from the University of Benin, Benin City, in 2016 where I obtained my B. Pharm and Pharm. D degrees. I did my one-year internship programme at the National Agency for Food and Drug Administration and Control and I am currently a Youth Corp member in Lagos State.

I was born in the early 90s in Lagos State in a home where my parents never failed to show us unconditional love. I grew up being very fond of my father. He worked in Nigerian American Merchant Bank for a couple of years and my mother was a trader who has always been very supportive and hardworking.

My journey has been an interesting one with several ups and downs, successes and failures but I was hopeful and never allowed situations and my environment define me. My parents vowed that my siblings and I would have quality education and live a better life. They made sure we went to one of the best primary schools in our locality and provided the necessary books we needed.

Everything was going well for my family, although it wasn’t perfect until sometime in April 1999 my father came back home very sad and informed us that he had lost his job in the bank. It was shocking because he never expected it and it happened just when we relocated to another apartment. My father felt bad. He had planned to get a computer for us, as he never wanted us to experience the childhood he had. Things changed drastically. My mother, being a very hardworking, wonderful woman, worked relentlessly to support her family. She started selling pap to restaurants around in large quantities. Till date, I remind my father to always give thanks to God for blessing him with my mother.

THINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2019

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success story: In 2000, I sat for my common entrance examinations in primary four and was later enrolled in a boarding school in Abia State. I left secondary school in 2006.

I was lucky to have family and friends who cared for me during my secondary school days.

scholarship which I did and became a beneficiary from my second year through my sixth year in the university. In my first year, I had a 4.18 GPA and though pharmacy school was challenging, I managed to graduate with a 4.20 CGPA.

My Academic Pursuit for Higher Education

I count myself lucky to have been chosen as a beneficiary because Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation made it possible for me to pay my tuition fees, hostel accommodation fees, get necessary study materials and other necessities as an undergraduate pharmacy student. I am glad that I was offered the

The years 2006 to 2010 taught me about patience, perseverance and not giving up on my dreams.

I wrote my first UTME in 2007 to study Medicine and Surgery in Abia State University because I had always wanted to study a health-related course but I wasn’t successful in my first attempt despite the supplementary courses I applied for. I sat for the second UTME in University of Nigeria Nsukka but wasn’t offered any admission though my score was relatively high for other science courses.

In 2009, I sat for the third UTME in University of Benin, Benin city to study medicine and surgery but when I saw my result after the post UTME, I had mixed feelings. I was happy because I was finally offered admission and was sad because I was offered a different course that was not anywhere related to what I wanted. It was quite devastating having to sit for another UTME for the fourth time but because I knew what I wanted, I had to ask myself if I would be pleased with myself in the future with the decision I made today. I knew I would regret settling for it due to pressure or fear of failure.

In 2010, I had a breakthrough; it was one of the best years of my life. I applied to study Pharmacy in the University of Benin (UNIBEN) and got admitted; my joy knew no bounds because I worked so hard and burnt my midnight candles. I was grateful to God for answered prayer, but deep down I was bothered about how my journey in the higher institution would be considering the financial constraints at home.

There was no stable source of income; we were just managing. My family’s support and the goodwill of a few people, I was able to pay my tuition fee in my first year and I promised myself that I would stay focused and committed to my studies knowing where I was coming from, the struggles and where I am going to and I had to make my family and everyone who believed in me proud.

My Encounter with Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation (RDSF) In my first year, Mrs Ronke Osikoya who has always been a mother to me and has always cared for my siblings and I from childhood referred me to the foundation and encouraged me to apply for RDSF

scholarship because I couldn’t imagine the financial difficulties I would have encountered in school without it. In my fifth year, I was appointed the chairperson of Anti-drug Misuse and Abuse Programme (ADMAP) where we educated and enlightened students and the environs of the dangers and consequences of drug abuse and also created awareness on certain illnesses.

The truth is: I achieved my dreams of becoming a pharmacist today because RDSF gave me an opportunity which has made me who I am today and I also want to express my profound gratitude to Mrs Bimbo Komolafe and Mrs Ronke Osikoya for their immense contributions and mentorship during an important time of my life. I am extremely grateful to the board of trustees for their enormous support and assistance throughout my stay in the university and to the Almighty God for making me successful with the opportunity that was presented to me.

Big dreams are hard to achieve, but Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation made it easier for me to achieve mine. | 34 |

A QUARTERLY MAGAZINE

health & fitness

I

welcome you all to the health segment of this edition of our quarterly magazine. We will be discussing acute viral infection of the liver that affects millions of individuals.

Hepatitis C

Introduction

Our discussion this quarter will be limited to Hepatitis A and B

The liver is the second largest organ of the human body of which the human skin is the largest. It weighs about 1500g. The liver is located in the right upper part of the abdomen extending to the upper middle aspect of the abdomen. It has various functions, which include:

Hepatitis D Hepatitis E

Hepatitis A Cause: Hepatitis A virus.

Transmission: It can be transmitted through oral intake of food or water contaminated by the virus.

•

Production and excretion of bile, an important digestive substance.

•

Controlling storage and concentration of nutrients such as carbohydrates, proteins and fats.

•

Storage of glycogen, vitamins and minerals.

Hepatitis A infection is found more in South America and Africa, so it is a problem encountered by travellers.

•

Production of important body proteins such as albumin, clotting factors.

Symptoms:

•

Breakdown and excretion of drugs, hormones and toxic substances in the body.

•

Fever

•

Loss of appetite

•

Nausea

•

Vomiting

•

Joint pain

•

Physical discomfort

•

Yellowness of the eyes (jaundice),

•

Enlargement of the liver and spleen.

Acute viral hepatitis can be defined as inflammation of the liver cells caused by a virus. It is acute in this case when it resolves within six months.

There are different types of viruses that cause hepatitis and hence the name of different types of viral hepatitis.

Types of Viral Hepatitis

The virus takes about 15 to 45 days to incubate in the body of the infected persons.

Hepatitis A

Outcome: It resolves on its own and does not progress into a chronic state. It rarely results in liver cancer.

Hepatitis B

Prevention: Avoid intake of contaminated food/drinks.

THINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2019

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health & fitness Hepatitis B

reduction of the risk of sexual transmission.

Cause: Hepatitis B virus.

•

Transmission: Unlike Hepatitis A that is transmitted from hand to mouth, Hepatitis B can be transmitted through:

High level of health precautions among health care workers.

•

Proper management of exposure (needle stick injuries, etc.)

•

Blood products

•

•

Body fluids

Immunization against the virus (Only in noninfected persons)

•

Sexual contact

•

It is found in regions like Africa, the Far East, and the Mediterranean.

Proper screening transfusion.

•

The Hepatitis B virus incubates for about 1 to 6 months in the infected persons.

Management of babies of Hepatitis B positive mothers.

•

Personal hygiene.

of

blood

products

before

People at risk of developing hepatitis B include: •

Intravenous drug users and their sexual partners

Treatment

•

Health care workers

•

Haemophiliacs

•

If you have any of the symptoms listed above then you need to see your doctor for further investigation and treatment.

Men who have sex with men

•

The treatment option is dependent on the

Sexually promiscuous individuals

•

•

The quantity of the Hepatitis virus on the blood

Close family members of a carrier,

•

•

The severity of the symptoms

Babies of Hepatitis B positive mothers.

•

Overall well-being of infected persons

•

In cases of babies with Hepatitis B positive mothers, in order to prevent mother-to-child transmission, mothers should have routine pre-natal evaluations/ screening and such babies should be vaccinated within a given time frame once they are born.

Symptoms Most infected individuals might not have any symptoms at first, so usually, it is an accidental finding. Until a larger percentage (60 per cent) of the liver cells are affected there might not be any complaints of any sort.

When people come down with symptoms it is usually similar to that of Hepatitis A infection. In addition, there can be

Treatment options include: •

Using antiviral drugs

•

Making lifestyle changes to prevent further damage to the liver

•

Pain in the right upper part of the abdomen

•

Dark colouration of the urine

•

•

Eating a balanced diet

Yellowness of the eyes.

•

Avoiding Alcohol

•

Avoiding use of drugs or herbs that can damage the liver

•

Avoiding over-the-counter medications

•

Seeing your doctor for any complaints either related or not to your condition.

Outcome: The outcome of Hepatitis B is usually more detrimental in comparison with Hepatitis A if it is not treated appropriately.

Hepatitis B infection can become chronic and can lead to the development of shrinkage of the liver (liver cirrhosis). It can also lead to liver failure just as liver cancer can ensue.

It has, however, been documented that there can be recovery phase in some people.

Dr. Banke Adenola is a Medical Doctor, a devout Christian with passion for writing, traveling and caring for children.

Prevention Safety precautions such as: •

Avoid sharing of sharp objects.

•

Protected sex i.e. use of condoms, which offer some | 36 |

A QUARTERLY MAGAZINE

health & fitness

It

's 2019 and our fitness clock is reset. There is no “first to finish”, and there is no finishing line. There is no audience in the stands cheering you on. It’s just you and your body in a race against self, a race to surpass your previous efforts, a competition to be a better you.

Setting a challenging plan for the year 2019 can be a little tricky, so here are a few guidelines towards making and sticking to your fitness goals; •

Make it simple: Five possible things you must do this year. Foods to avoid/reduce, sleep target, hydration target, increased activity target.

•

Make it doable: Rather than say "I will eat no pounded yam" try, "I will eat pounded yam only for Sunday lunch". Or "I will eat local (whole grain) rice instead of processed long-grain rice" or "I will have no carbs meal for dinner instead of I will have no dinner". Cutting out foods we love is hard to sustain, but modifying our diets to still include a variant of food we like is more achievable.

•

Forget short cuts: There is no such thing as a shortcut on the journey to fitness. It's like money, easy come, easy go, or should I say, easy go, easy return.

•

•

Write it down: Yes. Document your plan in an easily accessible journal. The Bible, in Habakuk 2:2, says: “Write the vision And make it plain on tablets, That he may run who reads it". I keep my plans on the notepad on my phone: easy to check regularly and assess my progress.

Be ready to go solo: Waiting for someone to join you on that walk or run may never happen. It's your body after all, why rely on someone else's schedule to get a workout?

•

Safety first: no matter how ambitious you may be, you are more precious than gold. Do not jump straight into strenuous activity, there is a risk of hurting a bone or muscle. Rather, start from the lowest level and work your way up as your body becomes more accustomed to the stress. In addition to your body safety, please consider your environment in planning your activity. I picked up a crazy habit last year of walking around my compound very early in the morning or late at night when I couldn't make out time to go out in the daylight, I call it crazy because I can now do up to 10km just walking around in a limited space for 2 hours or less. When safety comes first, we get ingenious.

•

Include penalty clauses: for every missed target, there must be a penalty. e.g. "if I miss two (2) walks in a row, I forfeit my Sunday pounded yam". This helps me a lot as I keep my treats for the weekend, guarding my treats jealousy means I can stay faithful to my plan.

These are just a few tips to get us started as the hourglass is turned around to reset the clock. As the sand grains begin to fall, each grain represents an opportunity to be a better you, and I pray that before the last grain falls, you would be able to look back proudly and see how far you've travelled to be a better you.

Mrs. Elozino Olaniyan holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Chemical Engineering from the University of BeninCity, Nigeria and has 25+ years of industry experience as a Petroleum Engineer.

She is married to Engineer Olafemi Olaniyan and together they have three children. She lives in Lagos Nigeria where she serves as a minister in her local church.

In her spare time, she writes an inspirational blog www.Elozino.wordpress.com. She is passionate about her fitness regime and shares some tips with TA readers. | 37 |

A QUARTERLY MAGAZINE

health & fitness

1. How have you managed to stay fit and look great at your age?

A fitness regime has always been a part of my life, so working out regularly is something I have done since I was a teenager. I am blessed to have a circle of friends that are also committed to being fit and healthy so it makes working out much easier as we are all on the same journey and motivate each other. Actually, most of them are older than me in their 60s and fitter than I am so I really can’t make excuses about my age. I work out with a personal trainer who pushes me out of my comfort zone and over the years this has worked well for me in setting challenges and meeting goals. It is important to set realistic and achievable fitness goals else you become demotivated and may give up or become less committed. To avoid getting into a rut, I engage in a various activities including dance and spin classes.

I practised Yoga, Pilates and Kickboxing for many years, which helped me a great deal with flexibility, strength and stamina. In addition to traditional yoga, I practised a more modern form called "budokon yoga" which combines classical yoga with martial arts, animal locomotion and life science. I also took up running which was quite surprising as I had zero ability nor liking for it while in school, preferring to be punished during physical training than running or engaging in any team sports.

As my running improved, I started enjoying it socially and took part in many races with friends, including half marathons and marathons. To date, I find running the best way to control my weight and maintain excellent cardio and overall fitness. Unfortunately, since my return to Nigeria a few years ago, I am a lot more THINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2019

limited in activities and, as a result, I am not as fit as I used to be.

So you can see that I have done a lot of different activities to facilitate my fitness over the years and I expect that they will all continue to stand me in good stead, as I get older.

On the diet side, this is much more challenging for me and I must confess that I have my own share of failings – I don’t eat as healthy as I could or should as I don’t particularly enjoy fruits and struggle to get a good variety of fresh vegetables. I prefer carbohydrates to protein so I have never ever been able to diet. However, I have always been careful with portion control so I eat | 38 |

health & fitness 4. How do you balance eating healthy and working out?

I am a firm believer in moderation – exercise moderately and eat moderately, particularly as you get older.

Recognize and acknowledge the changes your body is going through and adjust your workouts and meals accordingly. This way it is easier to sustain a healthy lifestyle.

5. Can you tell us specifically what meals you eat to remain ageless?

I don’t have any specific meals but our meals at home are cooked with a little oil and salt to make them healthier. I also limit sugary foods to occasional treats and as I mentioned earlier, portion control is important. most things but in small portions. As one gets older, we don’t metabolize what we consume as quickly so we need to adjust our intake accordingly.

2. How do you motivate yourself when you don't feel like working out or eating healthy?

That’s a good question - like most people, there are times when I don’t feel like working out but if I don’t have a really good reason, then I put on my kit, lace up my trainers and go for it. Nevertheless, a missed session is not important if you consider exercise as a life-long activity rather than an optional extra to engage in once in a while. Luckily, I am self-motivated and focused on the long-term benefits so it is not really a problem for me. If you engage in activities that you enjoy, you are likely to remain motivated particularly as you realize its health and fitness benefits.

6. Any other tips you want to share with our readers on how to stay healthy and ageless?

Staying healthy and good for your age is something we can all do by making little changes to our daily lives by incorporating some of the following: • • • •

• As I mentioned earlier, getting my diet right is actually more difficult than working out so I have to constantly watch what I eat and drink by limiting the “unhealthy” foods I have at home. And since I am more likely to make poor food choices when hungry so I eat regular meals.

Also, I avoid going out hungry that helps me in controlling what I consume. For example, our "small chops" are all fried foods and my favourite thing to eat when at events, but I can easily avoid them. Often the craving for sugary or fatty foods will go away in a little while so it is really a case of mind over matter.

Regular exercise. Engage in activities you enjoy Monitor your food intake by practising portion control Get adequate sleep so you wake up energized Stay well hydrated: We often mistake thirst for hunger, which makes us consume more than we require. Also, dehydration makes one feel tired and too lethargic to work out. Obviously, there are many more health benefits of staying well hydrated but I will not go into them right now.

Finally, just be aware and listen to your body – we are all very different and have specific needs in terms of nutrition and exercise. Do what works for you!

3. What is your specific workout regimen and how often do you exercise?

I exercise four or five times a week. I tend to work out with my trainer three times a week and then attend dance and spin classes once or twice a week. I also take leisure walks in the evening after a long workday just to clear my head and keep my muscles loose and limber. | 39 |

A QUARTERLY MAGAZINE

eajo couture

• Let print and accessories be your new best friend.

You can spice your work closet with something like our Wase linen stoned Ankara dress or Monique belted wrap dress paired with either a sneaker or mule.

5 UNIQUE STYLES TO WEAR TO WORK Are you ever tired of the conservative work outfit tradition? Often times, it is easy to get stuck in a fashion rut as we are so busy Monday to Friday, especially in the mornings, that getting dressed for work is easier left for the routine than being spiced up. I understand how it feels. But I also happen to know a few ways to spice things up a bit. Striking the balance between professional and stylish dressing doesn’t have to be that impossible, really.

2. Suit Queen Here is a guide through the tricky rules of workwear as well as suggestions on some polished pieces you can put together to create a stylish wardrobe that best fits the boss-lady at work, effortlessly. Think outside the box.

What comes to mind? An ankara suit paired with a round neck top, loose pieces like flowing wide leg or cropped pants or a white blazer over a midi skirt? Yes, stuff like that. The goal is to keep your outfit refined while still looking relaxed. It’s probably time to drop the conservative outfit and infuse some lit feeling to your workplace wardrobe with some of these ideas, as well ready-made pieces from our collection at EAJO. 1. Dress with a twist: Dresses are endlessly flattering and versatile. A work dress would be an easy one-piece outfit that means less work for you. Simply wake up, grab your coffee and slip into a dress for work, and you’re good to go. Whether wrap, shirt, shealth or sleeved, it will never disappoint when properly styled with accessories. My styling guide for dresses include: • Get the right size for your body type.

• Use a shapewear like a bodysuit to outline your figure.

THINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2019

Who says suiting up is a thing of the 80s? Almost nothing reflects a queen better than a lady in a tailored suit. From the Golden Globes to the Grammys, Oscars, AMVCA and no doubt fashion week, the biggest fashion to dominate the red carpet and the streets of Milan and Paris- places that underscore that message of power.

Yes, we’re talking about power suits. It can be sharp or slouchy, checks or block colours; well-tailored trousers teamed with coordinating jackets that flood red carpets, after parties, streets of Paris (the fashion island] and so on.

Kendall Jenner nailed the trend when out in Paris by stepping out in a yellow suit from House of Holland. Our very own Stephanie Coker strode into the AMVCA in a metallic suit dress from Style Temple.

Meanwhile, the 2018 Couture catwalks affirm that the trend is here to stay with Armani Prive, Dior and Paul Smith all sending models clad in a chic power suit down the runway in London and Paris.

Not one for sharp structure? Try our jacky pant suit for a softer approach. | 40 |

special feature gave us a range of options like red pear, valiant poppy, ceylon yellow, martini olive, ultra violet, neon etc.

Colours are the new black.

With a burst of colours seen at the fashion week, work outfit should never be dull. Everyday black, gray or brown is not only boring but casts an old shadow that makes one look really old.

A lot of ladies shy away from colours because of styling problem or fear of drawing attention to themselves. I know what that feels like. Spicing your outfit with a mix of dark colour and light colours can bring out the class in an outfit.

Step it up, drape a navy oversized blue coat or blazer over a white blouse. Finish this look with a necklace, statement bag and a black or brown loafer shoe as seen on the model below.

4. Ankara goddess Peplum like asymmetrical fit-and-flare blazer are so-intrend. It makes your waistline look slightly higher, resulting in a tall and lean look. It makes you look smart and professional.

3. Colour-bust Fashion trends in 2018 started with a pop of colours in our faces, from fuchsia pink to tomato red. The much talked about recently concluded New York fashion week

An ankara peplum jacket beautifully showcases women of colour. What better way to be chic and elegant than that? It isn’t difficult to style. You can pair it up with a flared pant or Midi skirt, pumps or stilettos and accessories.

| 41 |

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special feature 5. Get “skirty” When was the last time you wore a skirt that wasn’t the usual plain black to work?

The pencil skirt is back in a big way this year via Prada, Gucci, Fendi, Calvin Klein and, of course, your dear EAJO. It’s less about something to wiggle in and more about cocooning a woman’s shape.

They are fitted but not skin-tight. They also come in materials not associated with their corporate reputation think knits, leather, vinyl, tweed and prints.

To avoid looking too office-bound, choose a shade in a bright colour or choose a heavily embellished style – the more feather and sequin, the better.

If you truly want to bring your work skirt forward, then ditch towering heels, bid adieu to platform court shoes and swap for a strappy modest heel instead, or if you’re feeling bold, socks and shoes which are much more modern, and a lot more comfortable.

Of course, all these recommendations would be subject to the dress code of your organization. However you should grab every opportunity, where there is one, to

add some vibe to your style at work. Where to shop?

Visit www.eajocouture.com EAJO, a haute couture fashion house based in Lagos, was started as a fulfilment of my perspective of what fashion should be like. I believe it should be first about the individual before anything else. Talk about fashion born of a passion for the finest finish, design and individuality, and with a touch of fine elegance, that is what we are about.

We are the fashion label that understands you, and represents your best looks. At the core of our work is the belief that you should “wear what fits you”, bringing out a style that’s truly yours.

EAJO 70 Olonode Street, Yaba Tel: +234 815 7490624 Instagram/Facebook: Mode Eajo Website: www.eajocouture.com

eajo couture

THINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2019

| 42 |

a tale i ought to tell (atiott) ABOUT THE BOOK A Tale I Ought To Tell (ATIOTT) is a woven tapestry of personal stories uncovering the author’s life and perspective on a wide range of topics and experiences.

This book explores themes such as femininity, loss, religion and injustice while employing the unique craft of poetry and storytelling. We all have tales that need to be told. Stories about our past, home, dreams, present and the future we desire.

ATIOTT aims to reinforce the importance and validity of our stories as human beings. In this book the author tells relatable tales to show that no one is truly alone in their struggles and life experiences. The tale she ought to tell is that of becoming, her perception of life and solidarity. As you read this book, Oreoluwa hopes you particularly reflect on your formative tales, appreciate them for all they are and see beauty even in the ugly ones as she does the same through the poems in this collection. The book can be ordered online via her website – www.oreoluwacmacaulay.com EXTRACT FROM THE BOOK ‘A TALE I OUGHT TO TELL’ (ATIOTT) Forgive Forgive the things that touch the part of your heart that reminds you It should not be this way.

Forgive death's suddenness Forgive our government's wickedness Else the tiredness Of sitting in traffic due to their ineptness Will mix with the bitterness Already on your tongue from having to withhold goodness From a begging child too young to witness The rareness of kindness.

It should not be this way.

The hardness of doing business

In constant darkness, The crookedness of the hands you can't but grease.

Forgive life's deafness When you warn it of hope's dryness.

Forgive its rawness.

It should not be this way.

The day's eagerness To fill your eyes with dullness.

The foolishness in the forcefulness Of the man in uniform claiming to be your friend whose real name is unfairness It will be no surprise when these things try to touch your heart again and all they find is emptiness.

As much as you can, spoil them with forgiveness.

As much as you can, challenge them with frankness.

Give your neighbour gentleness.

We're all in this mess.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Oreoluwa C. Macaulay is a graduate of the University of Birmingham. She is a lawyer, writer, performance artist and storyteller. She is also a content and creative freelance developer, contributor and editor. With writing experience spanning ten years, Oreoluwa covers through her body of works various aspects of life such as religion, friendship, loss, identity, love, rape and family to name a few. She uses her storytelling abilities as a tool for self-expression and examination of her multifaceted identity.

Oreoluwa writes to understand and explain her world and that of others. She believes in one being the change they want to see; hence she uses her voice through public speaking, poetry, spoken word and social media to express herself and encourage others to be change makers in their respective spheres.

As a person, she is passionate about law reforms, human rights and public policy in Nigeria especially and is keen on expanding her social impact through volunteering, mentoring and leadership opportunities. Oreoluwa particularly enjoys experiences that cultivate her creativity as well as those that enable her contribute valuable ideas and grow her capacity as a value-oriented woman. | 43 |

A QUARTERLY MAGAZINE

experience. I write poems as a hobby. It is a way of expressing my thoughts when there is no one to talk to.

when the oil stops to flow & live life

2) How did you get into poetry?

I got into poetry during my teenage years. At that time there were several thoughts in my head and I needed to be able to express them as I felt the world did not understand me.

3) Where do you draw your inspiration from?

I draw inspiration from events, music, interactions with people and nature.

When the Oil stops to flow When the oil stops to flow Our tantrums begin to grow The economy given a jugular blow As we stare at the seeds we refused to sow When the oil is no longer needed Signs of this currently not being heeded We are simply laying our bed To be fed by what's left by those that have fled When the oil is gone And all fossil demands done As renewable energy becomes the one May we not wonder what we could have done When the oil becomes worthless What then is the fate of our naira Questions that beget answers If we ever want to solve this trivia

Live Life

4) How do you combine your daytime job as a banker with your passion for poetry?

The good thing about my daytime job is that it entails meeting people and interacting with them, so this alone provides inspiration. I jot ideas down on my mobile devices whenever I am inspired and I build up on them at a later time.

5) Any words of encouragement for aspiring poets?

Be you, be real and keep writing. Improvements come with constant trials and checking out works done by notable poets.

6) Do you think poems are as appreciated as they should be?

Poetry has really come of age with social media, which has helped in creating more awareness. Spoken word poetry gigs are now being organized with massive turnouts. Titilope Sonuga who is renowned poet recently had an advertorial for Heritage Bank and it was widely accepted. We are gradually getting there.

To each one his own struggle To each one his own hustle All things come to an end at the end of the day How it does, sometimes we do not have a say This life is transient And might not always be convenient Live life End strife

MEET THE WRITER: 1) Tell us a bit about yourself My name is Oladipupo Ojo (Diplenty). A Private Wealth Manager at a reputable bank with over 10 years banking THINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2019

Oladipupo Ojo whose artistic name is ’Diplenty the Optimus’, is a Private Wealth Manager with a reputable merchant bank in Lagos, Nigeria. In his spare time, he enjoys poetry, sports, and networking. | 44 |