Think Positive! Magazine by Telie Woods

Departments Be the ChaNge Highlighting the organizations and people that are adding value to our communities. Get involved – it’s time for a change. Brothers sPeak Your peers converse real and relevant topics that you’ve always wanted to discuss. Andrew Beamon moderates the discussion conveyed from a black male point of view. ChaNge For oUr doLLar The black dollar needs a face lift. From insurance to investments, learn to properly allocate your paycheck. Cheers to Careers! Read as our career pros present best practices that encourage excellence on the job. Cheers to your success! higher groUNd Do you really know what you’re capable of? Enliven the King and Queen inside of you with higher ground.

12 14 18 24 New worLd water Is the US facing an impending water crises?

PLight oF BLaCk BoYs iN aMeriCaN sChooLs If America wants to compete in a global era, the issue of low performing students will need to be addressed

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saY it LoUd BLaCk Power

what goes UP MUst staY UP

Inspiring a generation of young people to become more politically active and to stand up in their own world.

We all know if you fail to plan you plan to fail, so don’t take the development of your career plan lightly.

the PessiMistiC eFFeCts oF FatherLess hoUsehoLds The Brothers debate an discuss solutions to a statistic from the US Census Bureau that reports 72% of all African American children are born to un-married mothers.

Features 30 iNterview with PaUL BrUNsoN Author and relationship expert Paul C. Brunson shares his wisdom about finding a suitable mate, the keys to successful relationships, and why you need a life coach.

Cover FeatUre

42 50 53 60 voter FraUd aNd sUPPressioN: Will you lift a finger to protect what the last generations fought and died for or is Love and Hip Hop about to come on?

gUN PoLitiCs revised: US culture glorifies gun violence in music and film, but it inst glamorous when life imitates are and homicide rates spike in urban communities.

seParatiNg MoraLitY aNd PoLitiCs: We are placed in the predicament of having to separate our personal and political views. Do we vote our individual morals or for the greater social good?

BorN to Be aN oPtiMist? The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimists see the opportunity in every difficulty. Which one are you?

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Contributors 1 eriC B. horN

Eric B. Horn is a thorough leader in the areas of career development, empowerment, and leadership. His passion is to inspire others who have the desire to better their own lives. For more information on Eric go to www.ericbhorn.com and follow him on twitter @Eric B. Horn.

2 JaMiL a. siMMoNs

Jamil A. Simmons currently serves as a Business Analyst with Chicago Public Schools. Mr. Simmons is also a member of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc., the National Black MBA Association and serves as a board member of the Swish Dreams Sports & Educational Foundation.

3 aNdrew BeaMoN

Andrew Beamon is an executive at Gallup and is an active member of the Thursday Network of the Greater Washington Urban Leauge. Beamon currently serves on the Board of Directors of Streetwise Partners, a non-profits organization that works with low-income individuals to help them overcome employment barriers, obtain better jobs and achieve economic self-sufficiency.

4 CheLsea PUrNeLL

7 6

8 Think Positive! Magazine

Cheresa Purnell is the Owner of Purnell Enterprises, Inc. which provides the latest news, products, and services in social media, fashion, and the community. Cheresa is a professional blogger (ladyreesespeaks. com), runs a jewelry & accessories online boutique (llfboutique.com), and actively works in the community (theelectladies.org).

5 dr. L.a. Matthews

Dr. L.A. Matthews, also known as the “Career Doctor” is the Director of Business Development for Top Choice Resumes www.topchoiceresumes.com. Dr. Matthews has helped over 1,000 professionals obtain their career goals. She is an author, college professor, international speaker, and career strategist who has a diverse background in career consulting and coaching. Twitter: @LA_Matthews & @TopChoiceResume MeLissa harris

6 Melissa Harris, author of popular children’s book “The Legend of the Mighty Mighty Wendell” has written various articles for both adults and children. However, it is her job as a reading specialist and language arts teacher that serve as inspiration when creating life-long readers.

7 LUCY CoUtiNho

Lucy Coutinho, is a unique writer and interviewer who has the ability to describe scenarios the way a painter can highlight often overlooked details. Lucy, armed with degrees in Communications and Public Relations from Simmons College, is taking aim of the Washington DC media circuit. She currently is the Continuity Director at BET Networks. traCY L. sCott

8 Tracy L. Scott is an award-winning multimedia journalist who has more than a decade of experience in print and online publishing. This blogger, writer, web producer and editor has worked for well-known publications such as The Washington Post, Essence and UptownMagazine.com. She is currently working on her first novel. For more info: www.TracyLScott.com

Welcome To our Fall issue of Think Positive!

Company Information Think Positive! Magazine is published quarterly. Subscriptions are $12.00 for 4 issues. TPM is published by Miracle Media, Inc. Advertise in Think Positive! Magazine For advertising information or to request a rate card, please call 866-931-7576 or email us at info@thinkpositivemag.com All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission. This publication is purchased with the understanding that the information presented is from many varied sources from which there can be no warranty or responsibility by the Publisher at to accuracy or completeness. This magazine is inspired by The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit.

It’s our favorite time of year, but the grind doesn’t stop here. There is more work to do! There are more people to help, more problems to solve and more minds to mold. Our summer issue had young black professionals from coast to coast inspired by the work the National Urban League Young Professionals are putting in our community. Volunteerism is extremely important to TPM and we encourage you to become the change you would like to see in your neighborhood. What better way to serve your community then to do it next to a special someone? Love is in the air! This issue we take on the age old conquests of relationship, family and society. Relationship expert, Author and Life Coach Paul C. Brunson sat down with us to bring us up to speed on the importance of dating the one you like and keeping the love you’ve found. Oh yes! Ladies and gentlemen you are in for a treat. Sit back, grab your coffee, and get close to the one you love. You are officially on deck.

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Photo Credit: Jamar Wynn Cover Design: Deonne Moore Magazine Design: Nickolena Sidler www.nickolenasidler.com

Think Positive! The name says it all. Think Positive! is a call to action.

Expect to be Challenged

It is a lifestyle. Daily our readers seek to improve their health, finances, education, career, family, spirit and community. Every interview, column, feature and photograph within this magazine speaks to those desires and helps society live a more productive way of life. We aim to eradicate false media images and destructive frames of mind by empowering, encouraging, and educating the urban community through quality journalism. Think Positive! speaks directly to the hearts and minds of readers while motivating action toward positive change. Those who purchase this publication are not only readers; they are change-makers, activists and trendsetters. Read about the people who make a difference in our society, as well as the stars that proudly uplift the African American community

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@tweetTPM

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Letters of Gratitude by Melissa harris

Dear Beah Richards, When a Black woman speaks, she speaks the truth. You did that best. The truth was in the poetry you wrote, your character’s words, and the advice you candidly offered in interviews. “Have some worth to share” before having children you once told a reporter. It was this careful honesty that became the blueprint TV and film moms like Louise Jefferson, Florida Evans, Clair Huxtable and so many more meticulously followed. Whether by design or chance, you mothered countless viewers and mentored moms who tuned in to watch you as the unswerving woman of the house. Born to Wesley and Beulah Richardson on July 12, 1926 in Vicksburg Mississippi, a career in Hollywood was miles away. There was no movie theatre for you to attend, no library to check out books to read, and there was no one to defend you and the other Black children stoned on the way to school. However, racial antagonism was not massive enough to keep you from entertaining others, even before your television career began in the 1950’s. This was solely because your family lived outside the box racial tension tried to put you in. After your acceptance to Dillard University in New Orleans, acting appeared closer. You were motivated to join a theatre group in San Diego, California and land small acting parts in New York City while supporting yourself as a charm school instructor. Yet, it was your role in the 1954 off-Broadway production of Take a Giant Step that brought your dream of acting within reach. From there, you were cast in several plays, winning the New York Drama Critics Circle Award and the Theatre World Award. Out of your next three movie roles came the one that would land you the title of Best Supporting Actress Oscar Nominee, Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner. You then went on to land seven more roles in film, eight in television, and star in the three-act drama One Is a Crowd, just one of the three plays you wrote. Still, were you aware that the voice of a poet would emerge? With your parents as role models, it seems it was your destiny. Your father found the poetry in the pages of the bible when ministering at church while your mother used the rhythm in her hands to tailor and mend as a seamstress. They passed on their talent and courage which resulted in the poetry collection A Black Woman Speaks

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(1974) where you wrote about the impact of a segregated society and the prejudices against women. Although you were briefly married to Hugh Harrell in the 1960’s, you had no regrets, but I’m sure many casting directors did. They regret being too short-sided to see the beauty in your soft voice and forgiving eyes, the kind of beauty that extends beyond playing the role of someone’s mother, but their sister, daughter, and wife. Some would argue it’s too late, for on September 14, 2000, emphysema took your life in your home town of Vicksburg Mississippi. You were 80 years old. Nevertheless, those who listened to Beah Richards, the Black woman who spoke, will continue to speak the truth. You once said, “It is up to women to change their roles. They are going to have to write the stuff and do it. And they will.” Beah, your words were honest and uplifting, and with sincerest gratitude,

thank you!

Odds of having 3 multi-platinum albums

1/ 1,650,000

Odds of having a child diagnosed with autism

1/88

Toni Braxton encourages you to learn the signs of autism at autismspeaks.org Early diagnosis can make a lifetime of difference. © 2012 Autism Speaks Inc. “Autism Speaks” and “It’s time to listen” & design are trademarks owned by Autism Speaks Inc. All rights reserved. Courtesy of Sony Music Entertainment.

IS THe u.S. FACInG An IMpendInG WATer CrISIS?

ercury, copper, chromium, arsenic, gasoline and ammonia-based per chlorate are showing up in increasing concentrations in the nation’s water supply. Furthermore, surging population growth in states such

as California, Texas and Florida have created severe water shortages. In Los Angeles, scientists have found that 60 million gallons of ground water in the local watershed contain the environmentally harmful metal, chromium 6. The contamination is moving in the direction of the city’s main drinking water supply and could pose a major health problem within 10 years. More than 50 percent of Pennsylvania’s streams are polluted as a result of decades of coal mining operations. Drinking water in 39 of the state’s 69 counties is affected. In many municipalities in the United States, the infrastructure that conveys and sanitizes water is deemed inadequate. Miles of underground pipes have been corroding due to age, allowing lead into drinking water. Water treatment plants that were built at the turn of the 20th century to filter out particles and destroy bacteria regularly fail to remove pesticides, chemicals and other harmful materials. Agriculture, too, is straining U.S. surface water and groundwater supplies. The groundwater that provides 31 percent of the water used to irrigate crops is depleted 160 percent faster than its recharge rate. Desalination has proven effective in some areas, but the process of removing salt from seawater uses large amounts of energy. Pulsed-laser technology and bioremediation destroy only microbes, not metals and other toxic materials.

EXPERTS AGREE THAT CURRENT TECHNOLOGY PROVIDES LIMITED SOLUTIONS TO THE NATION’S WATER PROBLEM. One promising technology is gray-water filtration, which sends ultra-clean drinking water to household faucets while diverting partially filtered water to washing machines, boilers and backyard pools. However, the process requires costly adaptations to residential plumbing. According to the American Society of Mechanical Engineers (ASME), the solution to America’s water problem lies in government and community activism.

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T:7 in

T:9.75 in

Who would have thought? Alfred L. Cralle did in 1897. The Ice Cream Scoop, developed by Alfred Cralle, is just one of the many life-changing innovations that came from the mind of an African American. We must do all we can to support minority education today, so we donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t miss out on the next big idea tomorrow. To find out more about African American innovators and to support the United Negro College Fund, visit us at uncf.org or call 1-800-332-UNCF. A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

ÂŠ2008 UNCF

if america wants to compete in a global era, the issue of lowperforming students will need to be addressed.

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The Plight of

Black Boys

in American Schools

t’s parent-teacher time. We sit and listen. Our son’s elementary teacher refused to place him into a higher math. It had been done before. We had provided independent test results that showed he was performing at middle school proficiency. The school had already tested him and found him gifted. His teacher said our son was just too immature. No proof would change her mind. My wife and I were convinced that our son didn’t fit her perception of a smart student. As our son now enters high school as a freshman, we wonder if he will survive these societal pressures. As students start another school year, parents hope for a good one. However, I wonder whether beneath the surface things will improve for America’s children. We regularly hear about bad students and low performers in America’s schools. My discussion isn’t about the ‘bad’ kids but the good ones. In the 1960’s novel Black like Me, John Howard Griffin, a white man, discovered the perils of black life. His experience transformed his outlook about black people. Likewise, I hope you will have a similar experience as we analyze the plight of America’s children. Today’s society breeds young black boys to become entertainers and sport heroes, not engineers, lawyers, or doctors. The media showcases young black boys as dangerous, violent, and sexual. Do we really care

that Billy is dumb as a rock if he can dunk a basketball or run a touchdown for our team? In general, all boys in America aren’t performing as well as we might hope. However, the storyline for black boys is frightening. Young black males lead every negative statistic you can imagine. They have the worst test scores, drop-out rates, and unemployment statistics.

they can fit in. Smart and hardworking students are often victimized and hassled by peers. This same culture tells them that an education is associated with being white. Some conform to cultural pressures and underperform. They have no role models. Today, it is possible for a child to go K-12 without ever having a black teacher in some school systems.

In many school systems, black males were twice as likely to be suspended as female students. Surprisingly, even in some largely suburban schools where there are few blacks, blacks make up the majority of the suspensions. While they may fail in school, they become more successful in America’s prison system. From the low social condition of black boys, it is easy to understand that every major institution has failed them and allowed to them to become the prey of urban culture. Today’s culture, aided by mass media, bombards impressionable youth with conflicting value systems.

Even though the situation is difficult, many individuals continue to fight for these boys. Organizations such as The 100 Black Men attempt to make a difference. However, more black men need to become involved in all facets of America’s children’s lives. Everyone can benefit from a positive male figure. Some feel it is too late. Phillip Jackson, author of America Has Lost a Generation of Black Boys, suggests, “It is too late. In education, employment, economics, incarceration, health, housing, and parenting, we have lost a generation of young black men.”

For most involved black parents, the problems with their sons happen regardless of socioeconomic standing. They must deal with the calls for medication, special education placement, or holding their child back. While individuals may find black males missing in honors classes in most high schools, you can be assured that they will make up most of the special education students. Many youth underperform so that

Clearly, America is at a critical stage of its history. If America wants to compete in a global era, the issue of low-performing students will need to be addressed. Is America serious about the fate of young black boys? We are all interrelated. However, if good people decide to do nothing with this impending danger, it will be a fatal mistake. If so--please forgive us young brothers for not throwing you a life-line. Rest in peace (RIP) or live.

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Be the Change

+ How + Positive thinking + about + others + helps you

urns out that looking for the good in people and experiences is an excellent way to turn your thoughts from the negative, into the positive, more harmonious thoughts. Remember, apply this idea to both people AND experiences. Consider that even people that you may think of as wicked, lazy or insignificant have some good qualities and have done some good deeds. Also, consider that even experiences that you consider time-wasters or places you would rather not be, can have some underlying good qualities. It is generally accepted that there was never a person who did not have some good qualities or who did not do some good deeds. There was never an experience that did not have something good in it, or closely connected to it. The search for the good,

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‘Looking for the good in others’ is probably something you were taught to do in your early education. Elementary school teachers are pros at helping children to learn to keep an open mind about others and experiences. Now, as an adult, you like the idea of it, but may have trouble applying this principle in your everyday life. if diligent and faithful need never be in vain! When you find the good, remember to treasure that you got there. When your habit of looking for the good in others is fully established, negative thoughts will seldom intrude! Let’s illustrate the theory of finding the good in experiences with an example. A young woman, living on a busy Manhattan street, complained that she could not sleep because the noises of the busy city street outside her house disturbed her. A colleague of hers suggested that every noise, whatever its character, had a musical note and she should try to find that note in each of the various sounds which she heard. She decided to give it try. She abandoned all attempts to go to sleep and pursued in finding the musical note within the city street noises. Not surprisingly, she slept soundly all night. Why was she able to find the sound sleep that had eluded her for so long? The explanation is that before

she had focused on the discordant characteristics of the noises that she heard, and by thinking these thoughts, she enlarged her consciousness of the negative, and kept herself awake. In her search for the musical notes, she lost sight of the disturbing negative conditions, and she fell asleep because the discord of the noises no longer disturbed her. She let her mind focus and she got her desired result.

thinking so that you always ‘look for the good’, you will discover that your life will shine brighter and brighter. Not only for you – but also for others around you…family, associates, co-workers, employees and friends. The plain fact is, people gravitate towards and want to spend time with others that look for the good in people and experiences. Perhaps you have someone in your life right now that exudes the positive thinking lifestyle. Likely, others comment on how positive they are; that no matter what, they always see the bright side. They may comment on their positive outlook and that they are pleasant to be around and that nary a negative word comes out of their mouth. Isn’t it time that the people in your life started making statements like that when describing you? If you pause and ponder about the good in that person or experience, I promise that you will stop that negative thought dead in its track.

The search for the good in others and experiences, is one of the best methods for substituting negative thinking with positive, congruent thinking. A word of advice, do not limit your attempt to search for the good only ‘in the moment’. What I mean is, when you are having a negative experience or with a negative person, don’t go “oh yeah, I have to look for the good in people and experiences.” Instead, consider looking for the good a ‘life work’, constantly in exercise to eliminate negative thoughts. When you are able to change your

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Say it

loud

Black POWER

n the history of African Americans in this country, there has been some tremendous movements and images that seem to capture the mood of the country and the black community at that time. And this one phrase “Black Power” is without a doubt one of the most simple and elegant statements of pride and unity in the black community. But it was also a phrase that came to represent the more violent and objectionable side of the struggle for equality in the black community. And that makes it a controversial phrase then and now. Probably the greatest image of black power is the strong hand of a black man, clenched in a black glove and rose in the air in defiance and pride. Never has that salute been used as perfectly as it was at the 1968 Olympics when Tommy Smith and John Carlos raised the black power fist complete with black glove as they received their medals for their performances at those Olympic Games. The phrase “black power” was not coined in a march or riot as might be implied. It was actually created by Robert Williams, the head of the NAACP in the early sixties. But it really started becoming a “street term” when it was adopted by Makasa Dada and Stokely Carmi-

chael, founders of The Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee which was the precursor to the famous Black Panther Party. Sadly the black power movement became characterized by radical elements that went much further than seeking the goals of Martin Luther King and the rest of the civil rights movement’s leadership. These radical elements sought black separation and social change by violent means. And so in a time when there was tremendous turmoil in the country because of the violence in Vietnam and on the streets of America because of that social strife, The Black Panthers and other fringe groups sewed fear and hatred in response to racism which at times made it more difficult to achieve long lasting change. But there is good to be seen even in some of the darker elements of black history and the leadership who looked to find the best way forward for African Americans. Sometimes it is necessary for the radical elements to make themselves known so reasonable members of a community can know the outer limits and find compromise. This was a value to the black power movement because it did charge the discussion, albeit with violence and made the importance of reasonable Americans to come

together to seek peaceful change all the more important. But there is another good that came from the black power movement. Those images of the raised fist were images of a pride and a willingness to stand up for the rights of black Americans. They inspired a generation of young people to become more politically active, to stand up in their own world and make that statement made famous by James Brown “Say it Loud. I’m Black and I’m Proud.” That pride is an important thing and for young people to find. They have to find it in their communities and in their heroes. So if black youth took pride and courage to face their own circumstances from the bold stance of leaders who, albeit radically, said loud that black America was now going to be a force to be reckoned with, the resultant call to action to the black community produced many more positive effects than negative ones. The fringe voice does speak what is in people’s hearts and by getting that anger and frustration out, it became part of the movement. That energy could be captured and used for good instead of evil. And the end result was a movement that was energized for change and to make life better for all of black America. And that was what everybody wanted.

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Self-Esteem

Being Your Own Cheerleader

M Following are helpful ideas to use when you need inspiration to cheer yourself on: First, when challenges arise, we must cheer or root for ourselves as we would for our loved ones if they were facing an obstacle. We wouldn’t want them to falter, so why would we allow the same to happen to ourselves? Cheering ourselves on with supportive thoughts and feelings will give us the continued strength we need to overcome many of life’s unknowns. By repeatedly telling ourselves that we are proud of who we are and what we can accomplish, we receive the encouragement needed to forge ahead in life without fear or reservation. Great things then become possible. Another way to treat ourselves with love and kindness is to use

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any of us believe that the only way to feel good about ourselves is to have someone else constantly reaffirm to us that we are good people. The truth is, however, that the act of simply believing in ourselves can be enough to give us the necessary confidence to accomplish the impossible, achieve greatness, and pick ourselves up when we fall. Far too often we rely on others in our lives to provide us with a best friend’s kindness, a child’s love, or a spouse’s support. If we need love and support, the first place we should look is within ourselves.

Being able to love ourselves requires a lot of practice. Overcoming years of negative reinforcement from society is tough to do. However, once you can successfully say you can love yourself, nobody can take it away from you. We must learn to be our own best friend, our own cheerleaders. We need to provide ourselves with the love, kindness, and respect we all deserve and desire. Learning to love ourselves can be an ongoing process as we occasionally fall into the trap of believing we’re stupid, worthless, no good, etc.

positive self-talk, and use it often. Our minds must be constantly reinforced with the belief that we have what it takes to achieve what we desire. The resulting outcome will be an optimistic frame of mind that allows us to believe that truly anything is possible. Positive affirmations will produce the same result. Simply write down a statement, such as “I am a beautiful and lovable person.” Repeat your chosen positive affirmations daily until their truth is instilled into your consciousness. In other words, when we believe we are beautiful and lovable, we will be beautiful and lovable.

thing to do. We should not rely on others to put our lives back together for us. Rather, we must learn how to comfort ourselves and regain the positive outlook that will keep us going in the right direction. Most importantly, when feeling down, we need to take the time to reaffirm our value and our worth by the use of positive self-talk and positive affirmations.

Unfortunately, being our own cheerleader also means we have to accept there will be times where we need a “pick me up.” Being there for ourselves to pick up the pieces when we’re down, or when it seems things are falling apart, is a courageous

Finally, being our own cheerleader has the distinct ability to provide us with a sense of leadership, of control over ourselves. Learning to fulfill our own needs allows us to avoid a destructive dependency on others for our feelings of worthiness. Selfworth is a belief that comes from within, and nobody can give that to us or take it away. We must remember that no matter what our circumstances are, we always deserve a pat on the back. Go ahead, give yourself the praise you deserve!

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11 Smiling

Great Reasons why

Makes us More

Successful!

Our smile shows others that we are friendly.

If a stranger approached you and gained eye contact with you and then treated you to a broad smile you will have a fairly good idea that they are being friendly and certainly mean you no harm. By contrast we would find it far more difficult to offer trust to the stranger that wears a scowl or unfriendly face features. A smile can make

2 people happy.

this hundreds times in a very short period of time. When you smile at someone who is not already smiling and they smile back you have brought a moment of happiness into their lives which, who knows, could last all day.

dom and worry? Or, would you prefer someone who is always smiling and shows that they have an enthusiastic passion for life. I think for the majority of us the choice would be obvious! Smiling can help you to

Smiling is infectious.

When you spend a lot in the company of someone who smiles a lot you will soon discover that their smile starts to wear off on you. It is hard not to return a smile; most of us do it at a subliminal level without thinking.

5 make new friends

In the same way few of us would choice a miserable person for a friend. Lets face it we all want someone who is going to be bubbly and a happy and positive.

6 A smile is usually returned

When someone treats you to a smile, even a stranger, you usually smile back. For that moment you enjoy a flash of positive communication without saying a word. As you walk through a crowed area such as a main street you can do

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Smiling can make you popular.

Which type of people do you prefer? A person that has a tired and listless face. An expression that may reflect their inner thoughts of bore-

When someone smiles back at you it make you feel good inside. You have just made a short but very positive communication and possibly the first step in the process of getting to know or making friends with someone new.

sMiLiNg Makes YoU

7 Positive aNd haPPY iNside. When you smile it is hard to feel unhappy, negative or sad in anyway. Smiling gives you enthusiasm and drive, it is also habit forming.

a sMiLe Makes YoU Look Far More attraCtive.

You donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t see many celebrities or media personalities that are not smiling because if you did it is fairly certain that their popularity would quickly start to drop!

sMiLiNg aLso heLPs Make YoU MeMoraBLe to others!

Have you noticed that smiling people are usually far more memorable than those that are not? It is fact that you are 3 time more likely to remember the person that is smiling

over the one that is wearing a negative or neutral features.

Most iMPortaNtLY, sMiLiNg is good For YoUr heaLth!!!

When you are smiling you find whatever you are doing far easier. It releases stress, worry and tension that you may have built up throughout the day. Long term, developing the smiling habit will be one of the smartest things that you can do to improve most aspects of your life. the eFFeCts oF sMiLiNg

far more potential and power to advance and improve your life. LastLY: sMiLiNg is Free! You are never going to run short of smiles and will always have enough to go around. When you weigh up the positive points of smiling it is a no brainer decision to do far more smiling and share them with as many people as possible.

Keep smiling.

11 CaN Last For hoUrs

Whatever problems and challenges you have in your life, smiling temporary puts them and hold. For a while you forget the problems and become positive, and while you are in a positive state you have

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CheerS to CareerS

WhaT Goes

Think Positive! Magazine

musT sTaY by eric b. horn

e are all aware of the quote “What comes up, must come down”. This slogan is true for a large array of situations. However, when it comes to your career you have all the power you need to go up and stay up. Remaining relevant in your industry can be extremely challenging if you don’t know the direction in which it’s going and if you don’t have a plan to get there. At the very least, you should annually review and revise your and career development plan, to make sure that it’s working to keep you ahead of the curve. We all know if you fail to plan you plan to fail, so don’t take the development of your career plan lightly. Start out by researching next year’s trends in the industry that you are in. Finding this information can be as simple as going to Google and typing “Next year’s trends in __________”. Put your industry in the blank, and start figuring out what the experts are projecting about your industry. After reading a few articles you will have a clearer picture of what you must do to “Stay Up”. After finishing your research, it’s time to develop your three-part plan. The development of your plan should consist of: where you are currently, where you want to go, and the most important area, how to get there. This is the meat and potatoes of this initiative so take your time with this and don’t get frustrated if this takes a little longer than you anticipated.. Trust me, it’s well worth the time and effort.

Once you have refined and designed your plan, take it to a trusted source, like a mentor, and have them give their honest feedback. It’s always important to have a second or third pair of expert eyes look at what you have. They can only make your plan better than you could ever imagine. Now that you’ve read this it’s time to implement! Don’t tell yourself that you are going to develop your plan later in life. Take the opportunity to develop it now; it could be the difference between having that corner office at a major corporation or sitting in a corner mad at yourself because your career isn’t what you hoped for. According to the Book of James, 2:10, “Faith without work is dead”. Now that you have finalized your career development plan, you must work your plan. Don’t expect everything that you strategically developed in your plan to magically appear; this is real life not a magic show. To be honest, creating the plan was the easy 10 percent, now it’s time to roll-up your sleeves and implement the other 90 percent. If you are feeling a little uneasy at this point, you are on the right track. Putting your plan in action will force you OUT of your comfort zone and put you into a space that you’ve never experienced. Embrace this feeling and use it as fuel to keep you going. Remember this is a marathon not a race.

the tasks you’ve completed and those on the horizon. Furthermore, don’t half-step on completing your to-dos. If you have a goal to contact five people a day, contact those five people...not four or three. For my overachievers out there, contact 10 people per day. There’s nothing wrong with going beyond the call of duty. If you fall short of your tasks, take a step back to figure out how you can get back on track. I still fall short of my tasks from time to time, and sometimes struggle with getting back on track. After a while, I figure out what I’m missing and what I need to do to get things moving. I must admit my decision making process could be much faster, but hey we are all a work in progress :). At the end of the day, you are responsible for your own career development so what you put into it is definitely what you will get out if it.

Follow Me on TwITTeR @EricBHorn

Work your career development plan every single day, being mindful of

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CheerS to CareerS

BuildiNG yOuR PROFESSiONal

Branding is NOt Bragging by dr. L.a. Matthews If words had superlatives, I can pretty much bet (someone else’s) life savings that the term BRAND would win for Most Popular Word. Interrupt any office conversation or step inside your favorite coffee shop in America and more than likely you’re going to hear the terms: Brand and Branding. Every company, business and product has a brand and whether you believe it or not, so do you. As a career strategist, one of my main objectives is to help professionals articulate their professional brands confidently and accurately. Think of your professional brand as a thoughtful way of defining how you want to be seen in your professional world. When you create a professional brand as part of an overall career management strategy, it gives you focus, motivation and

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passion. Reflect on what you want to exude when others think about you as a career professional. My clients typically shy away from the conversation of branding. They believe it’s up to multi-million dollar companies to brand their products and services, invest in their marketing strategies and ‘sell themselves’ to potential buyers. It’s hard for them to conceptualize a branding agenda for everyday career professionals like themselves. This is far from the truth. In this economy, you cannot sit by the phone and just hope someone calls and hires you tomorrow. There is only one way to get potential employers to know who you are and that is by telling them! What if you’re already employed? Well, how can you get a promotion if you’re not conveying your results and presenting your accom-

plishments? Self-promotion will help you make critical connections that will advance your career and improve your networking experiences. We are so accustomed to being humble and not talking about our achievements to others. We were brought up in households that taught us to talk about ourselves only at a minimum. Branding yourself leads to promotion. Silencing yourself leads to demotion. One important step in building your professional brand is by telling your story. Your story makes you unique and if you can effectively tell your story, this will help you stand out from other professionals who have never mastered this skill. Here are five steps that you can begin immediately to help you start the process of professionally branding yourself.

ments does not make you conceited. Confidence is not conceit. Again, if you don’t believe in yourself and your abilities, why would a hiring manager believe in you? 5. JoiN the hoMe shoPPiNg Network teaM: If you can’t promote who you are and what you bring, why would anyone buy it? I want you to sell yourself as if you were advertising the latest vacuum cleaner for the Home Shopping Network. Go home today and turn the channel to the Home Shopping Network for 5 minutes and observe a host. Notice his/her confidence, communication skills, energy, and their product knowledge. They aren’t saying that their vacuum cleaner is the best vacuum ever created or that the other vacuums on the market aren’t worthy of being in your home. No, the message that’s presented is, “Here’s an amazing product and I’m going to tell you what it does, why it works, what it’s capable of doing, and why you should buy it.” Don’t wait to present your brand and your worth!

1. Jot it dowN: Ask yourself, “What do I want to be known for in my professional career? What characteristics do I want my managers, co-workers and future employers to associate with me? What are the adjectives that I want people to think about when they hear my name?” Write down your answers. 2. Break it dowN: After you’ve created a list of the qualities that you want people in your professional realm to think of when they see, hear and reflect on your skills, you will have a list of your professional brand adjectives. Now, group the items that are similar and these areas will be the foundation of your professional brand. You should have at least 3-4 target areas. For example, let’s say your background is in Computer Science, four possible target branding areas

could be: Information Technology Expert, Technical Assistance, Training Facilitator, and Resourceful. 3. Be CoMFortaBLe taLkiNg aBoUt YoU: Take your target branding areas and practice speaking about who you are, what you’ve done, where you’ve done it, and what you plan to do in your next position. Be able to clearly answer the: Who, What, Where, and What Next questions while conveying your professional brand. Be able to sell your brand within 30 seconds. This is not your elevator speech. I like to call it your elevation speech. Make it concise, clear and captivating.

It takes time to build professional relationships and trust. Put yourself and your professional brand out there and over time, you’ll see unimaginable results. Follow Me on TwITTeR @LA_Matthews @TopChoiceResume

4. BraNdiNg is Not BraggiNg: Before you begin speaking to others about your professional brand, you must first understand that speaking about your accomplish-

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Why Doesn’t My Daddy Love Me By Cheresa Purnell

t seems like “father issues” are almost inevitable in this day and time. As much as we all like to point the finger on whose fault it is, it does not bring solace to a hurting child who wants answers. One of the most difficult questions I’ve ever had to answer as a mother was “why doesn’t my daddy love me?” One cannot begin to conceive the heartbreaking pain I felt hearing those words roll of my princess’ lips. I can recall as a child lying in the bed asking God out of all the fathers I could have gotten, why I had to get this one. And to hear my child repeat those very same words to me was absolutely devastating. I know I am not the only single mother who has had to deal with giving an appropriate response to their child’s questioning of his/her father’s actions. So here are a few tips I think may be helpful: Never degrade the Father to the Child Telling your child their father isn’t worth much is very foolish and immature. The child already has one parent they’re losing respect for, don’t join the crowd. In no way am I suggesting you sugarcoat the father’s actions, however, there is a respectful way to be honest about them. Sometimes children may over exaggerate or have unrealistic expectations because they are young and learning. Don’t get over emotional and fall into the trap of immediately bashing the father. Instead, make your child the focus. Be more concerned about how they feel and what affects it can potentially have on them. At the end of the day, you may not be able to change the father but you can influence the child. 1

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Take Responsibility for Your Role as A Mother This is the father YOU chose!!! I had to own up to this fact which is very humbling. I apologized to my daughter for not making a better choice on with whom I gave the opportunity to reproduce a life. Being able to admit that frees you and your child from getting caught up into the blame game. Plus it teaches your child to be honest and reflective about the choices they make. 2

Shift the Focus to Who Does Love the Child Don’t let your child dwell on the negative energy they are feeling. Constantly remind them of all the people who do love and support them. I tell my daughter God knew all of this was 3

going to happen and He loved her so much that he sent her an amazing mom, and grandma, and godmother, and godfather, and a host of play Aunties who absolutely adore her. It’s more important to help them focus on who cares instead of who does not. Allow the Child to Journal Their Feelings Find creative ways to allow your child to express their feelings. Whether it’s a journal, or drawing, or something else, always provide them with an alternative outlet. This is especially effective if your child is shy or has difficulty communicating. If/when they ever want to share, always remain ready and open to provide a safe haven for them to discuss their issues. 4

Pray Together Prayer still works!!! I am always praying over and with my child that she will not fall victim to the unfruitful attention of young men because of the lack of it that she receives from her father. I tell her God knows what kind of relationship she desires to have with a father. So I remind her to pray and make her request known unto God and trust that he is going to give her desires of her heart. Faith and hope are powerful remedies to uplift the spirit and will us to accomplishing our greatest desires. 5

Seek Professional Counseling I know there is a stigma in the Black community when it comes to seeking professional help; however, we have to get over it. Many of us adults would probably be more well-balanced if we would have had someone to talk with when we were children. Don’t let your child grow up carrying the family baggage of hurt, disappointment, and rejection. Seek counseling or other licensed third-party individuals who can assist you and your child to forgive and live a healthy life. 6

Follow me on Twitter @LadyReeseSpeaks

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Treating Ethnic Skin Conditions Just because a product says it’s a facial cleanser or moisturizer, doesn’t mean it’s the right product for you. Many people think that the same skin care regimen works as well on african americans and hispanics as it does on non-ethnic skin types. But according to experts like Dr. Angelo P. Thrower, a dermatologist specializing in ethnic skin conditions, such skin presents unique challenges that have only recently begun to be addressed. He offers these answers to some frequently asked ethnic skin care questions: Q: what are soMe ProBLeMs sPeCiFiC to ethNiC skiN? A: Ethnic skin is prone to a unique set of problems, ranging from dark spots and skin discoloration, to acne, shaving bumps and bumps on the neck. Q: what’s the First steP iN deterMiNiNg how to Care For MY skiN? A: Start by finding out what type of skin you have. There are three general skin types: Oily skin, which is shiny and may feel bumpy; normal/ combination skin, which has a few areas that are oily and others that are slightly dry; and dry skin, which tends to have matte finishes because of an accumulation of dead skin. Oily skin has many large pores, normal/combination skin has a moderate number of visible pores and dry skin has few, if any, visible pores. Q: do skiN CoNditioNs aFFeCt BLaCk aNd white skiN diFFereNtLY? A: Sometimes. Black skin tends

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to exaggerate the skin’s response to disease by producing follicular excitements, or hair bumps, that are dry and rough to the touch. Q: how do i Choose a treatMeNt? A: Look for products made for your specific skin type. For instance, Dr. Thrower developed a line of products for ethnic skin called Heritage Skin Care. It’s specially formulated to treat common problems in skinof-color, such as melasma, or dark patches and dark spots. The line is also formulated to treat dry skin and acne-a disease common in both black and white skin, but that reacts differently to treatment, depending on a person’s skin color. Q: what CaN haPPeN to the skiN iF the wroNg ProdUCt is Used? A: Most people’s skin isn’t oily around the eyes, on the corner of the nose, and around the mouth. If those areas are exposed to drying products on ethnic skin, irritation, skin discoloration and bump formation is likely. Q. iF i have dark skiN, do i stiLL Need to Be CareFUL oF the sUN? A: Even black skin tans and burns and must be protected. It’s a good idea to use sunscreen with an SPF of at least 15 every time you go outside, whether it seems sunny or not.

INSTEAD OF JUST HANGING OUT ON SATURDAYS

I HELP KIDS HANG IN THERE

AT SCHOOL BECAUSE I DON’T JUST WEAR THE SHIRT, I LIVE IT.

GIVE. ADVOCATE. VOLUNTEER. LIVE UNITED

Michael Cleveland is part of United Way’s ongoing work to improve the education, income, and health of our communities. To find out how you can help create opportunities for a better life for all, visit LIVEUNITED.ORG. ®

Author Paul C. Brunson’s new book entitled, “It’s Complicated” is taking the relationship world by storm! With thought provoking views on dating and alternative approaches to relationship, Paul gives TPM an exclusive look into his world. Don’t make it complicated, it doesn’t have to be!

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COVER FEATURE

PAUL BRUNSON I n t e r v i e w e d by T e li e Wo o d s

What types of relationships where you exposed to growing up? I had the full spectrum from healthy and loving to witnessing abusive and dysfunctional. I think having that full spectrum allowed me to have better perspective beyond adolescence.

the one; until it’s done. I know that may sound a bit morbid but I strongly believe you can love again. If God forbid I get hit by a bus tonight, my wife can enter into a new relationship and have just as strong if not a stronger love with him, and then he could be the one.

How did those relationships frame your ideas about love? I learned the whole concept of marriage is forever from my mother. The commonalities around a lot of the stories in my childhood were around the importance and the strength of a vow. The institution of marriage and how important it is, not just between a husband and wife but also in terms of children, strength of community and the strength of a nation. I think that was the bedrock to the shaping of my paradigm around relationships and what leads a lot of my thoughts today.

How did you come to be the “real life Hitch” and relationship extraordinaire? I had a summer camp in 2008 here in DC and we had 100 students, they were all from lower income households. Most were Black and Latino kids that were in this program. I was checking them in at the registration table and realized not 1 of the 100 had two parents in the household. This blew me away. I couldn’t believe there was not one. Thinking about a solution made me come alive and I knew there was something I had to do. It wasn’t until that time that I knew this was my passion.

Tell us how you met your wife? It was interesting because we met in an orientation before we started our freshman year at Old Dominion University. We became very good friends that blossomed into a romantic relationship. How did you know she was the one? I believe you never know if they’re

Just to sidetrack a little bit, a lot of men fall into this. We want to find our passion and get on it. For me, I always wanted to find that thing. I was good at a lot of things but never great at one thing. I was beyond 30 and it was at that moment that I found out this was my passion. Once I knew, I quit my job and we literally took all

of the resources and said, “Ok if I’m going to become a relationship expert I have to really study everything I can read, go to conferences and get certified as a life coach.” After that year, I was ready to start. How does one know if they are in need of a Life coach? There is a dramatic increase of people aggregating more responsibilities to experts. We are going to experts for everything. Life coaching just became en vogue over the last few years. Life coaching is ken to general mentorship. Think about the power of a mentor. Life coaching is essentially the same thing. The big difference is that a life coach has experience and is objective, which is important. How you know you need a life coach is the same question of how do you know you need a mentor. Everyone can benefit from a mentor, just like everyone can benefit from a life coach. What is the demographic of your clientele? It is predominately African American and predominately female. However, once LoveTown USA hit the air we have been contacted by men, all ethnicities, and all sexual persuasions. We have a good number of everyone contacting us. We have a huge waiting list, which is definitely a blessing.

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What are of the dos and don’ts you recommend to your clientele for first dates? First dates are really interesting and I think it depends on whether or not you’ve met the person before. If you have never met the person, plan a very short date and do it in a public place. If you’ve never seen them before you don’t know if you are attracted to them yet. Attraction in my opinion is very important in the long term success of the relationship. If you are not attracted to them then why even waste your time? That’s why I encourage a short interaction initially. Now, if you’ve already met that person, you’ve seen them and are attracted to them, then go on a longer date - but make sure it’s an activity. The whole dinner and movie thing is not only played out but it’s very ineffective. The dinner, for so many folks, is so scripted. It doesn’t allow you to observe how the person acts and ultimately it’s about what we do not necessarily about what we say. If spirituality is a value of yours, you can set across the table from someone and they can talk about how spiritual they are for an hour but that doesn’t mean anything until you can actually see it coming out in their life. That’s why activities are key.

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Generations X and Y seem to focus on careers first and their relationships last. Could waiting for success before finding a mate be detrimental? I definitely understand why that is. You think about our parents and grandparents, they were the first to begin to emerge with college education and out of blue collar work into white collar work. They begin to see education as the path to success. They beat it into our heads. In the 1960s and 70s, African Americans had the highest rates of marriage in the world. I don’t think they were saying education over everything else, they were saying education probably with the assumption we would be in relationship as well. I think we may have gotten it misconstrued. The key to success in life is not independence, nor is it dependence, it is interdependence! To be interdependent you need another person. Therefore, when you think about success, I believe having a strong partner can allow you to expedite that success versus being alone. What steps can a person take to expedite romantic maturity? I believe that love mentorship is very

important, that’s the key. You want to build your romantic quotient; it would be great to place someone in your life that has it so that you can see it. I believe in that whole 100 black men mantra of they will be what they see. I think taking in better content like Think Positive Magazine, for example. We unfortunately take in a whole lot of garbage. I believe really patrolling what enters our minds is very important in terms of building that romantic EQ. Do you think a person’s reliance on “types” limit them when trying to find a partner? It can limit, but that limitation is sometimes a good thing. It depends on how you perceive your type. Is that type based on preferences or is it based on needs? Is it based on things you like or is it based on values? If you are looking at your type in what I believe is the correct way which is values, personality and needs and if that limits the number of people in your life then that’s a good thing. If your type is based on physical characteristics that are meaningless to long term happiness like, “Oh he has to be over six feet tall,” then that’s not smart.

what does it MeaN to Be a good hUsBaNd? Being a good husband is about talking and then walking your talk. When I say “talking” that is about being a communicator. The number one reason why couples break up is not infidelity; it is around the inability to communicate. I believe that we as men are biologically built to be less verbal then women. Being a great communicator, which often times the best communicators are listeners. Second, is walking the talk in the things that you value. It is extremely important to actually deliver on those things. Lastly, a good husband is someone who maintains their walk within their values. Consistency is everything. how iMPortaNt is it to exaMiNe aNd LearN FroM FaiLed aNd sUCCessFUL reLatioNshiPs aLike? Very important! My favorite mantra is, “Fail fast to succeed faster.”In essence, that means to look at your experiences as just that, experiences! I live by this mantra now. You may have wanted a different result, but if you learned from that result it was still a positive experience. You now know how not to reap that. You learn and you move forward. With successful relationships, it’s very important to see and understand what healthy means and what it look like. With a low number of young people growing up in two parent households, it’s hard to know what a healthy functioning relationship looks like. It’s important just to see it. When my wife and I started Brown Sugar parties a big part was not just for singles to come over and interact with each other but to watch my wife and I interact. what hUrdLes shoULd we Be PrePared to overCoMe iN order to FiNd a sUitaBLe Mate, get Married aNd MaiNtaiN Love? I would begin with loving thyself. I dedicated a whole chapter in the book to this. It’s a subject a lot of people give lip service to but when I begin working with my clients I see where

there is not true love for themselves. This is something I really want men to come to grips with as well. Second, is to do the self exploration to identify what your values are and your personality type. And to really do the hard work and know what your needs versus your wants are. I’d love to have a Lamborghini, but that’s not a need. I can actually get by in the minivan that my wife and I have. Last but not least is to know the power of a healthy love. Think about the power you get out of a healthy relationship! The ability to have someone you know is holding you down 24/7. The ability to have someone you can hold at night, share the best of times with and the worst of times without judgment. All of those positive pieces are important to embrace and understand. what was the MotivatioN BehiNd writiNg YoUr New Book, “its CoMPLiCated?” Have you ever heard of a book called The Rules? It was a landmark relationship book that came out in the 90s. It became the bible around relationships. There were rules I agreed with and some I didn’t. But what’s interesting is that this book really set the groundwork around how a lot of people interact now. I wanted to do something fresh and different. I thought about a modern version of that book because relationships have changed a lot over the last 20 years. That’s what really gave me the inspiration to make it happen. what kiNd oF Best PraCtiCes do YoU waNt PeoPLe to take awaY FroM YoUr Book? My mentor, Rachel Greenwald, is a world renowned match maker. She went to Harvard business school and has written several best selling books, she is just all around awesome. After she read the book she said, “Paul I’ve read hundreds of relationship books and I didn’t think anything new could be said on the topic but this book is new and more importantly is going to change lives.” Having her to say that was the best endorsement I could ever have. So in terms

of takeaways, the book is great for everyone. The book is great if you are single and wanting to be in a romantic relationship. It’s great if you are in a committed relationship and want to strengthen it even more. It even is great if you are thinking about platonic relationship and you want to strengthen your relationship with your co-workers or people in your church. It’s this all inclusive book that I think will be a life changer for some folks. YoU have a show oN oPrah’s owN Network. teLL Us aBoUt Love towN, Usa. Love Town, USA is probably one of the most unique TV productions ever. It’s being billed as the largest social experiment in the history of television. It’s about love and understanding love and understanding in order to receive love you have to be love. Love is not just romance. Love is grace, patience, and forgiveness. What happens is myself and my co-host go to a city for 30 days and basically show people how to be the love. It’s an awesome concept. I want more people to watch it. I believe it is reality TV done right. what’s Next For PaUL BrUNsoN? I’m going to keep doing it, keep going, and keep grinding. I can’t stop, I won’t stop! Obviously we have our show that airs all the way until October. The book comes out October 11th. I’m going to keep traveling the world talking about the book for at least another year. We have our “It’s Complicated” book tour which we have dates booked all the way until December 8th.

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Do You Want To Be Successful? The Right Attitude is All You Need!

famous quote says “Your attitude today determines your success tomorrow”. The most valuable asset you can possess is a positive attitude towards your life. Your attitude determines how much success you can achieve in all aspects of your life. Your attitude is also one of the first things people notice about you, and impacts on all the business and personal relationships you will have. Positive attitude is not a product of heredity; but with proper training, anyone can acquire this important trait.

need to understand this before you can work on the following steps towards adjusting your attitude for the better. Your attitude impacts on everything you do, the way you think and your motivational levels. In order to turn your attitude around and get into action towards your goals, you need to be able to consistently fight any negative or pessimistic thoughts that you may get. You need surround yourself with positive things and people, and you need to keep on your ultimate goal of achieving the success and wealth you want.

If your attitude is not positive, then you can use some tools to do an “attitude tune-up”.

2. You must make a choice to be in command of your mind and attitude Taking full responsibility for what goes on in your mind by monitoring your thoughts is the first step towards being in control of your attitude. The power of choice is very influential in our lives. In order for you

1. You must understand the power of attitude Your attitude is the most powerful tool for positive action that can help you become successful, so you will

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to be successful and wealthy, you must first choose to be successful. While you are working your way towards your goals, you will encounter some hurdles, you may experience some failure; but is very important that you control how you respond to whatever that happens, and keep your attitude positive, while working towards your goals. So, what will be your choice? A positive or a negative attitude? It may be easy to make this choice, but what tends to be a challenge is to actually stick with this choice no-matter what setbacks you face. “Program” your attitude by training yourself to be always positive, maintain a positive inner dialogue, and keep your focus on your long term goals. Choosing to have the right attitude will help you become successful in all areas in all areas of your life.

3. Identify and stop the negative attitude that holds you back Assess your present day attitude and identify aspects of which may be holding you back from becoming successful. What are the underlying causes of your negative attitude? What attitude do you need to propel yourself towards success and wealth? Do an attitude assessment and work an all the attitude that is keeping you away from being successful and wealthy. Rid yourself of any debilitating attitude, and focus on the positive attitude which will help you attain your optimum potential in all areas of your life. 4. Turn your attitude into action and find your purpose and passion After you have identified what it is that is holding you back, you will be ready to take on the next step of

looking ahead and analyzing where you want your life to go and what you want to achieve. In order to be successful, you must understand the importance of living your life with purpose and passion, and having a personal vision of what you want in your life. If you do not have a vision, you have nothing to work towards, and therefore you can not be consistently motivated. Once you have your success goals specified, then you can easily turn your attitude into action as you work towards these goals. 5. Develop strategies for maintaining the right attitude For you to be successful in your life and in your business, it is important to be able to maintain the right attitude at all times, regardless of any setbacks you may face. You will need to prepare yourself for handling any challenging situa-

tions that may threaten to provoke negative attitudes that will throw you off course. You must develop some self-motivation techniques to help you maintain the right attitude towards your goals; namely affirmations, visualization, positive attitude talk, enthusiasm etc. By using these tools, you will be well prepared to achieve professional and personal success. It is also important to build supportive relationships that will get you through challenging times.

By simply following the steps outlined above, you can have the right attitude which will help you transform your life and achieve any success you want.

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lationship. We might even increase our willingness to accept many apparent faults and mistakes, and even idiosyncrasies, of our partners. Let us examine why this happens. It has been found that couples who idealized their partner’s attributes, or had exaggerated beliefs about their control over the relationship, or were overly optimistic about the future of their relationship, were happier. Their relationships were also more stable and lasted longer. These observations lead me to draw the following inferences/conclusions:

poSITIVe roMAnTIC ILLuSIonS: IS Love reALLY BLInd?

“I

s love really blind?” I wonder. Having been happily married (and some of the times not so happily) for 30 years, I cannot help but ask myself more frequently whether my love is blind. Unsurprisingly to me, the answer seems to be affirmative. How else would I have been able to go through the various difficult times in our relationship? Logic would dictate that we would have broken up by now. The next question I have been asking is whether it had been good that my love is blind. I found an interesting section in the book “An Introduction to Positive Psychology” by WC Compton with the title “Is Love Really Blind?” What you will find in the rest of the article is based on what Compton wrote together with my thoughts. In our minds, very often, we have pictures of our partners that are inaccu-

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rate. We have what is called “positive romantic illusions” about our partners. These illusions explain why we are oblivious to the faults of our partners and so enamored of them. While it is true that these illusions tend to fade with time, it is also true they can also strengthen with times, albeit with different characteristics. In the former, when marital problems surface, and if the illusions disappear completely, it might lead to eventual marital breakup. Fortunately, most of the times, the illusions might weaken but do not disappear completely. The remnant illusions might help to weather the storms in the relationships. In the latter case, the marriage might stay strong even though there may be many situations and incidents that might wreck a weaker re-

It is through the positive romantic illusions about our partners that explain why we choose our partners and not someone else. The positive romantic illusions about our partner help us to stick to our partner even during bad times and under otherwise unfavorable conditions. We might continue to deliberately keep a biased positive view of our partner so as to maintain, or even enhance, the relationship. There is mutual enhancement of the positive romantic illusions that partners have for each other. People are more committed to spouses who see them in positive light. However, should the stress present in the couple’s life lead to strains in the relationship, the positive romantic illusions might begin to fall apart, leading each partner to realize they have been fooling themselves about the qualities of their partners. Without the presence of the positive romantic illusions, the relationship can then deteriorate very rapidly. Overall then, it is good for couples to maintain the positive romantic illusions they have. This way, they will remain ‘in love’ and continue to experience all the joys of romantic love.

We are born with limitless potential. Help us make sure that we all have the chance to achieve. Please visit uncf.org or call 1-800-332-8623. Give to the United Negro College Fund.

The Revolution

In Personal Improvement

Life

Coaching L ife coaching arrived in the UK about10 years ago, having started in the United States some 10 years earlier. Life coaching is to define goals and work out how you can achieve them. Whereas therapy analyses the past, with life coaching the emphasis is on the future and how the client can fulfill their potential.

A life coach will not judge their clients but work with them on issues causing difficulties in their life. They help the client understand problems, see what may be holding them back, work out solutions, set goals and concentrate on ways to change for the better. Life coaching usually involve a series of regular sessions over several months and contact with your coach can be by telephone, email or personal visit. Life coaches have different styles and use a variety of methods in their work, depending on the needs of their client. Many will use experience gained in disciplines such as sociology, psychology, career or other forms of counseling. Life coaching is not intended for those with psychological illness. Individual clients come from all sorts of backgrounds and maybe looking for anything from major life changes to a few small adjustments to put them back on track. Although clients are often individuals, many companies also use life coaches to work with their employees in house. How can life coaching help me? If you are at a transition point in your personal or professional life then coaching can give you the confidence to set priorities, take decisions and make changes which will ultimately help you achieve a happier life. It is

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all about taking charge of your life and getting the results you want. In your working life perhaps you would like to improve your career opportunities, achieve more or develop your skills, but you are not sure how. Alternatively perhaps you would like to become self-employed, or simply need a change. A new challenge can give you a sense of purpose but you may lack the confidence to proceed. Life coaching will help you understand and accept your weaknesses, but also enable you to believe in yourself and make the most of your strengths. In your personal life you may feel you need or want to change your lifestyle. Perhaps you would like to lose weight, improve your health and fitness, manage stress or gain a better work/ life balance. While you may well know what you should be doing, actually keeping up lifestyle changes is difficult at times. Coaching can help you identify exactly why you want to change, why earlier attempts may have faltered, and to view the process in a more positive way. Crucially the targets you set will be realistic so that your motivation and the benefits of change can be maintained. Good relationships with those around you are very important to your sense of well being and satisfaction with life, but relationships can be difficult both at home and at work. However, this can improve with the help of coaching sessions. Talking through the issues will enable you to see how you can change to help resolve problems. How can I find a life coach? There is no professional body or any regulation in the Life Coaching industry. In theory anyone can set

themselves up as a life coach with no formal training or experience. There are training courses available but no recognized qualifications. Therefore your own research and instinct will be the most important factors when looking for a life coach. The media (internet), and personal recommendation are likely to be your best sources. Your choice of life coach will partly depend on your purpose. If you are looking for assistance with a particular area of your life, then you will want to research the experience and skill available in that area. For example, some coaches may be more effective working on family issues than changes at work. However, you may feel that personality and how the coach clicks with you are more important than any particular background. The way the coach asks questions, delivers constructive criticism and motivates their client is of course going to be vital to the success of the sessions. Also remember to consider whether you would like the option of face to face contact with your coach. A good life coach will not ask for a large payment upfront. After the initial introductory conversation you should be allowed time so that you can be reasonably sure you have made the right choice. This works both way. The coach will want to be sure you will have a successful working partnership. Can I become a life coach? As a life coach you will need excellent communication and listening skills, a positive approach and the ability to encourage and motivate others. You must enjoy working closely with people and be flexible. More specific skills may be required if you choose to work in a particular coaching area. Although there are currently no qualification requirements, you may well choose to undertake some form of training course before you start to practice life coaching. Training will develop your skills and is likely to give you more confidence and credibility. As there are no academic standards you will have to rely on your own research and evaluation to find an appropriate course. Your choice will depend on previous experience, and personal interest. Remember to ask about the cost of the course, time involved, support available and recommendations from previous students.

T:7”

T:10”

“off the hook”

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Your Vote Counts …..Right? Voter Fraud and Suppression By Cecil Frazier, Jr. What are the key issue facing voters this fall as they prepare to choose between incumbent President Barack Obama and the Republican challenger, Mitt Romney? Medicare? Taxes? The economy? The Afghan War? Women’s rights? Most of the media won’t tell you this, maybe because they don’t care and/or believe it, but the issue with the most potential to impact the future of American policy going forward is voting rights. I know, it sounds ridiculous at first blush. Voting rights have been a settled issue since the ‘60’s in the minds of most Americans. The idea that every citizen has the right to vote, that Jim Crow, poll taxes, and literacy tests are faint echoes of a very ugly past in this country, that fixed elections are things that happen in corrupt third world countries, is an assumption most of us feel comfortable making. Thing is, we shouldn’t. There is a very malicious, deliberate, targeted, and widespread effort to prevent, or make as difficult as possible, certain groups from voting. This is not partisan paranoia, this is the truth. The question becomes, will you lift a finger to protect what the last generation fought and died for? Or is Love and Hip Hop about to come on? Ok, so maybe the last line was a cheap shot, but seriously, is there going to be an uprising, a backlash against those that seek to disenfran-

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chise large groups of people for crass political expedience? Do they even know that these things are happening? I’ll give you a few of the most egregious examples: Pennsylvania The Keystone State passed its new voter ID law in March, after a GOP takeover of the state government in the Great Republican Wave of 2010. According to the Philadelphia Inquirer: More than 758,000 registered voters in Pennsylvania do not have photo identification cards from the state Transportation Department, putting their voting rights at risk in the November election, according to data released Tuesday by state election officials. The figures - representing 9.2 percent of the state’s 8.2 million voters - are significantly higher than prior estimates by the Corbett administration. Secretary of the Commonwealth Carol Aichele has repeatedly said that 99 percent of Pennsylvania’s voters already had the photo ID they will need at the polls in November. The new numbers, based on a comparison of voter registration rolls with PennDot ID databases, shows the potential problem is much bigger, particularly in Philadelphia, where 186,830 registered voters - 18 per-

cent of the city’s total registration - do not have PennDot ID. The ACLU is currently leading a lawsuit against the law, in which we saw a breathtaking repudiation of the rationale for these voter restrictions by the state itself! In a stipulation filed with the court on July 12, 2012, the state concedes, “There have been no investigations or prosecutions of in-person voter fraud in Pennsylvania; and the parties do not have direct personal knowledge of any such investigations or prosecutions in other states;…..Respondents will not offer any evidence or argument that in person voter fraud is likely to occur in November 2012 in the absence of the Photo ID law.” Sooo…. We’re going to risk disenfranchising 18% of voters in heavily Democratic Philly because, um, nothing that we’re willing to testify is happening? Apparently so, since the request for an injunction was just denied in court by Republican Judge Robert Simpson, who wrote in his opinion that this partisan law passed along partisan lines would nonetheless be administered in a non-partisan fashion. Maybe it’s not as sinister as it looks, even though Pennsylvania GOP House Majority Leader Mike Turzai is immortalized on YouTube bragging about how this law will “allow Gov. Romney to win Pennsylvania.” Let us move on….

Texas The Lone Star State’s voter restrictions were passed last May, and it was set to go into effect Jan, 1st, 2012. However, because Texas voting laws are subject to review based on it’s long history of suppressing minorities in the Voting Rights Act, the law is currently unchanged. Texas Governor Rick Perry has sued the Justice Department to get it’s new draconian legislation cleared. Among other things, the Texas law mandates certain IDs that are considered legal, including concealed carry licenses, and some that are not eligible, such as student IDs. The estimated impact falls disproportionately on, you guessed it, left-leaning voting blocs, this time the state’s exploding Hispanic populations. Per the Huffington Post: “The Justice Department conveyed its objection in a letter to Texas officials that was also filed in the U.S. District Court case in Washington between Texas and the department. Justice said Hispanic voters in Texas are at least 50 percent more likely and possibly more than twice as likely as non-Hispanic voters to lack a driver’s license or a personal state-issued photo ID, which the Texas law requires. The range was so broad because Texas provided two sets of registered voter data to the Justice Department. It relied on the two Texas-supplied lists for the estimates of 175,000 and 304,000 registered Hispanic Texas voters who do not have driver’s licenses or state-issued IDs.” Ohio Everyone remembers the long lines, lack of machines, and controversy that surrounded Election Day 2004 in Ohio. As a practical response to a clearly broken election system, the state greatly expanded early voting. By all accounts, the reforms were an enormous success. By the next presidential cycle in 2008, all of the previous problems were either eliminated or vastly mitigated, and Ohio was called fairly early and accurately.

Gone were the 10-hour lines and voters leaving from exhaustion and frustration, as 1.7 million Ohioans took advantage of early voting. Everything went well, apparently, but the result: Obama won the state handily and took all of the drama out of Election Night 2008. To fix that problem, Ohio’s newly elected Republican statehouse went to work immediately, only to find that maybe that wasn’t such a great idea! From the Cleveland Plain Dealer: While efforts to establish a photo ID requirement have stalled in Ohio, the state legislature last year passed a law that would have reduced the time frame for early voting from five weeks to three, eliminated most weekend voting hours and dropped a requirement that poll workers redirect voters to the correct precinct if they show up at the wrong one in a location that hosts multiple precincts. Ohio legislators repealed that law when it became clear it would face a referendum, though its ban on early voting on the weekend before elections remained because it was also part of a separate law. President Obama’s re-election team last month sued Ohio Secretary of State Jon Husted to demand that in-person voting be allowed during those three days. The lawsuit argues that all Ohio voters should be permitted to cast ballots the weekend before the election, as members of the U.S. military are permitted to do. In 2008, when Obama won Ohio’s vote with a 4 percent edge, Democratic get-out-the-vote efforts stressed getting voters to the polls that weekend. That last paragraph is especially interesting, as both the Romney campaign and pundits at Fox News spun the Obama campaign’s lawsuit as an attempt to take away the ability of service members to vote early, the exact opposite of the truth (I know, HUGE shocker).

A couple of things become painfully clear as you look at the 19 new laws and 2 executive actions concerning voting rights in the last year and a half. First off, there’s an undeniably partisan slant, with two exceptions: Rhode Island and Mississippi. Rhode Island’s voter ID law, passed through a Democratic legislature and signed by an independent governor, is by far the most lenient and incremental, while Mississippi Democrats, we can reasonably agree, are quite a bit more conservative than most other Dems. Second, voter ID laws are the classic example of a solution in search of a problem: in person voter fraud, ostensibly the thing that voter ID would prevent, happens at a rate of 1 in 15 million voters since 2000. I know, a crisis of epidemic proportions. Third, voter ID is easy to sell to the general public and is quite popular nationwide. It’s not surprising, and not entirely illegitimate, that most people who need valid ID to get through most of their lives see no real issue with showing an ID to vote. I live in dark blue Chicago, and I vote literally around the corner from my home, and I show ID when voting. If this were a measured incremental change in an off political year, there would be no real argument against voter ID. Lastly, whether you live in one of these states or not, it’s YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to get informed, get the required docs and make sure your vote counts! It’s on citizens, not politicians and lawyers, to become informed and active, to affect “change we can believe in.” In my humble opinion, progressives should not put much more energy into litigation, and redirect it into to voter education and turnout. There are few memes that activates people better than, “They’re taking this away from you,” and that’s my take.

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Change Your Child’s Behavior with Positive Reinforcement

hink about your interactions with your children today. How many things did you notice they did wrong? What did you do or say to them because of their wrong doings? Have they engaged in the same kind of behavior before? What did you do or say the times before? Is it working? How many things did you notice your children did right today? If you did take the time to notice, what did you do or say to them? Did you praise or reward them in some way? If so, then read no further and keep up the good work. If you could use a little work on doing this, then read on.

we program our children to believe “if I’m only noticed when I do something wrong, then so be it.”

lege. It may go something like this, “David, I really appreciate how you came in the house when I asked and you even did it without a big hassle. You should feel good about being able to do that.” How about, “Wow Jamie, your bedroom looks awesome. You must have worked really hard on it. I bet you worked up a healthy appetite. Why don’t you decide what we have for lunch today?” Focusing on your children’s positive behaviors could be the most productive parenting change you make if you don’t already do it. Chances are you have been trained like the rest of us to only call attention to the bad things your kids do. This phenomenon isn’t found solely in the parent/child relationship. It is also prevalent in spousal, sibling and employee/employer relationships. When was the last time your boss called you into his office and asked you to shut the door? Was it because he just wanted to tell you what a wonderful job you are doing and how valuable of an employee you are? If so, lucky you. More than likely,

It is just as important, if not more, to notice our children’s positive behaviors. Remember most behaviors are controlled by their consequences. Some may believe rewarding kids for positive behavior is bribery. We all reCatch your kids being good. It ceive rewards daily could have a profound effect on for doing things well, the atmosphere in your home. at work, at home, and at play. These rewards often motivate us to continue it was because he wanted to talk to the behaviors for which they were you about something he thought you received. Where parents use rewards could do better or you were doing Let’s face it. We parents often neglect ineffectively is when they give a posisomething wrong. People tend to to notice the positive things our tive consequence to stop an inapprotake positive behavior for granted priate behavior. For and punish negative behaviors. Some example, “I’ll give parents find it helpful to make a note Just watch and wait for the you a cookie if you put it where they can see it often. behavior to occur then reinforce stop whining.” This and The note might read, “Notice the it with praise, a pat on the back or only encourages positive” or “catch’em doing good.” the inappropriate You may also want to consider using a a special privilege behavior. Where as jar of consequences, a parenting tool children do. Rather, we tend to focus rewarding kids for their positive behav- that parents can use to help them on our children’s negative behaviors, iors is quite the opposite and much focus on and reinforce the positive because they either annoy us or more productive. behaviors their children exhibit. Catch otherwise make our lives difficult. your kids being good. It could have a Have you ever heard the phrase, “that Using positive reinforcement to profound effect on the atmosphere in which gets noticed gets repeated?” strengthen a desired behavior is easy. your home. Whatever it takes I assure If all we ever notice is the negative Just watch and wait for the behavior you it will be worth it. things our children do, then why would to occur then reinforce it with praise, they do anything different? It is as if a pat on the back or a special privi-

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GATEWAY TO OUR CHILDREN’S FUTURE: CLOSING THE GAP IN THE

UNITED STATES EDUCATION SYSTEM

by LuCe Coutinho

f you ask a fourteen-year-old what they want to be when they grow up, the response can vary from”I want to become a doctor, teacher, lawyer, scientist, and perhaps a television personality”. Their visions combined are immeasurable and surmount any limitations. For an average child, the world is their oyster, in which they feel safe and secure about their futures. But how prepared are our young children and are their futures as secure as we anticipated? Our children want to learn, they want to succeed, and want their chance to achieve the American dream. “My education will prepare me in the future to be knowledgeable in the world. In school, I feel challenged in my classes, but not as much in some. This is probably only because I like working at a fast pace but sometimes other students aren’t at my level,” expresses an eight grader. This student along with many others remains both optimistic and enthusiastic about their futures. With preparation, the educational system can in fact help to infuse them with the proper tools to be as prepared as their international peers. In enriching and feeding this enthusiasm, we must be aware of how the U.S. educational system fares to the rest of our nation.

our future (children) the value of who they are and the potential impact they can make if they believe in themselves. However, as educators and future developers we must understand that this is our core responsibility. Not to teach a lesson or score high on a standardized test or meet a quota but to captivate and engage the mind so the bodies (children) will understand his and her true worth in society,” says a member of Board of Trustee of LCCPS. With core beliefs in mind, Lowell Community Charter Public School believes that every child is unique and has special abilities and interests that must be recognized, encouraged, and developed.

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Studies show that U.S. students are falling behind globally in education, ranking 25% out of 24 nations in math for 15-year-olds. There is also a technology push being made in countries such as India and China, preparing technology skilled workers. The challenge for the American students is particularly great in math, science, and engineering. At a time of persistent unemployment, especially among the less skilled, it is crucial that we prepare our students for the 21st-century global economy. It is suggested that in order to improve the quality of our educational system we must place more high quality teachers in the classroom, offer more options to parents as for them not feel that their children are trapped in failing schools, and more money should be given to schools. Ultimately the education of our children lies in the hands of our nation’s teachers, it is important not to underestimate the impact that they have in the future of America. There are many individuals looking to lend a hand in impacting and helping to secure the future of our children. It begins with a simple vision, a belief, and reaching and lending a hand. “I genuinely believe we have to teach

Every child is encouraged to have a dream and the way to attain those goals is through a solid education. As a nation we do owe it to our young people not only in helping them reach their ultimate career goal but to open up their world in a way that the impossible becomes possible. We can no longer afford to wait to improve our American education system and the competitors abroad will certainly not wait for us to catch up. The time for improvement begins now and collectively our mission should be that our students succeed. This is what the American dream is built on.

Racial Segregation in Politics

t was not so many years ago that there was deeply seated notion that black person were incapable of the thoughts needed to handle a political office. Not so many years ago, black people were still considered slaves. Groups such as the Ku Klux Klan or KKK were all the rage in the south, and the segregation issues were widespread across the nation. While the north has always been more accepting, it has turned that the south, while deeply rooted in the traditions of the past, are starting to notice that black people are truly real human beings. They are capable of thoughts, ideas, and ideals about how to improve the areas in which they live, as far as a white person is similarly capable of these traits. People have shown a sway towards understanding the equality of people as human beings, rather than being blinded by the mere irrelevancy of skin color.

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While society overall still has much work to do in regards to racism and segregation of any kind, there have been major strides in the political arena, and this year even sees a black presidential candidate with a strong chance of success. No longer are black people considered property, no longer are they forced to walk behind the white people in a neighborhood, they are no longer forced to ride on the back of a bus, nor drink from a separate fountain. Black people are treated largely as equal to white people, in what is becoming an increasingly more culturally diverse nation we live in. It stands to note that many black people today are becoming the heads of major corporations; many black people are now earning salaries the same if not higher than their white counterparts, rising to the top of their game at an equally fast rate. This is a major step in the right direction to reduce racism. Other notable facts

include the fact that now; there are black people in offices of power across the country. Blacks are starting to take their place as politicians, with offices in the Senate, as well as Mayorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s offices around the country. This is a major step forward, and a sure sign that with time the racial differences of the country can be overcome. While a solution to the racial problems of this nation will not be overcome overnight, they are solvable. The solutions come many times in the form of open minds. There are still sects of such groups as the Ku Klux Klan operating in the deep southern states such as Georgia and Alabama, although they are significantly weaker than was the case 100, 50, or even 20 years ago. These groups and organizations help hold back progress in those areas, but despite their attempts the blacks are making a name for themselves, and proving they are as capable of political jobs as anyone else in the country. We as a society are much more accepting than we have ever been in the past, which can only be a good thing. We are allowing ourselves to be dictated by reasons of good, instead of living by the outdated ideas that skin color determines how effective our nationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s leaders are. We have a long way to go.

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T It’s a right protected by the Second Amendment, but with its liberties contributing to the deaths of hundreds of young African Americans each year, the right to bear arms could easily be considered as much an American nightmare as it is an ingrained part of many people’s American dream. 50

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It’s a right protected by the Second Amendment, but with its liberties contributing to the deaths of hundreds of young African Americans each year, the right to bear arms could easily be considered as much an American nightmare as it is an ingrained part of many people’s American dream.

Most who lived through the poorly-fought War on Drugs can relate to Lupe’s pain in some way. There’s likely at least one friend—from one of the many class pictures tucked away in a seldom opened drawer—whose image leaves a little knot in your throat as you question why and what could have been.

The American culture glorifies gun violence in film, music, graphic novels and other forms of entertainment, but it’s not quite so glamorous when life imitates art and homicide rates soar in Black communities in Philadelphia, New Orleans, Washington, D.C. and other urban areas.

Black on Black crime isn’t the only violence that threatens young African Americans. The case of Trayvon Martin, a 17-year-old who was shot dead by a seemingly overzealous Neighborhood Watch volunteer, received national attention. Had there been no gun in the shooter’s possession, it’s doubtful that late-night encounter would have ended with one teen dead, a shattered family and a man on trial.

In July, rapper Lupe Fiasco broke down in tears while watching footage of himself with friends six years earlier in his hometown of Chicago. The artist became overwhelmed with emotion, remembering his friends, “ghosts,” who succumbed to street violence and some who were incarcerated. “I got more guns than you. All my homies are killers,” he struggled to say through tears. “Chicago’s the murder capital. The dudes in that video are in and out of prison, a couple of fed cases, and then there are ghosts. You see people that, that aren’t there.”

That tragedy preceded another that left more than a dozen young people—of various nationalities—dead when a mentally disturbed gunman opened fire in a crowded movie theater in Colorado. Both incidents prompted responses from President Barack Obama, who acknowledged that a son of his might look a lot like Trayvon. The latter motivated Obama to issue some of his strongest statements yet in support of stricter gun laws.

“AK-47s belong in the hands of soldiers, not in the hands of criminals. They belong on the battlefield of war, not on the streets of our cities,” he said, describing that declaration as “common sense.” “We should leave no stone unturned and recognize that we have no greater mission as a country than keeping our young people safe,” he said. Obama acknowledged that hunting and shooting are part of America’s heritage, and as such, most think of the gun control issue as one that should be left to gun-wielding, burly, tobacco-chewing men to debate. However, considering that 77 percent of those who died from gun violence in 1976 through 2005 were between the ages of 15 and 17, according to the National Institute of Justice, it may be time for more mothers, sisters and aunts to increase the volume as they continue to lend their voices to the issue. During this election season, unemployment, the economy, same-sex marriage and health care will be discussed by the candidates who seldom agree on how these ideals fit into the American dream. While Obama hasn’t developed new gun legislation yet, nor is the issue mentioned on his website, his words suggest he’ll soon seek to enforce laws that will make it more difficult for the mentally disturbed to purchase firearms.

Obama’s Republican opposition, Mitt Romney, has been less definitive about his stance on gun control. In 2006, he supported tough gun laws in Massachusetts, according to Politico. “I won’t chip away at them. I believe they protect us,” he said. A year later, Romney continued to support gun laws, but opposed new legislation that could theoretically decrease the incidents like the massacre in Colorado. “When it comes to protecting the Second Amendment, I do not support any new gun laws including any new ban on semi-automatic firearms,” he said in a statement.

a way to do effectively do both? Which candidate has the better course of action? Those are questions voters can address in November when heading to the polls. However, for Sybrina Fulton, the grieving mother of Trayvon, a Mother’s Day message from earlier this year made her position clear. While urging citizens to examine the gun laws in their states—those similar to the Florida Stand Your Ground law that delayed Trayvon’s shooter’s arrest—she made one simple request to lawmakers: “Keep our families safe.”

Fast forward to 2012, and a clearer stance emerges. According to his website, Romney “will enforce the laws already on the books and punish, to the fullest extent of the law, criminals who misuse firearms to commit crimes. But he does not support adding more laws and regulations that do nothing more than burden law-abiding citizens while being ignored by criminals.” It’s up to each individual to determine the priority when it comes to gun laws. Is protecting the right to bear arms more important than protecting the lives of young Americans? Is there

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Attracting Abundance

You Can Have

Anything You Believe

ome people believe that attracting abundance is something that the rich and famous must know how to do. The rest of us just aren’t privy to their secrets. Even more damaging is the belief that you must have money to make money. The belief of attracting abundance, however, flies in the face of that and says that as long as you believe it, you can have it. Does that sound way too simple to work? Does it sound too good to be true? It does. And yet people who use the principles behind things like the law of attraction, conscious creation and positive thinking will tell you that it really can work for you, because it worked for them. There can be little doubt that a person’s attitude, no matter what happens in his or her life, can make the difference between a happy person and a person who is not happy. We’ve all known people who seem to have the worst luck, who still seem happy. No matter what happens to them, they see the bright side and somehow they turn out ok.

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And we probably all know someone who seems to have everything going for him, but is miserable. We can’t understand how he can be so unhappy when he has so many good things in his life. This is a case of attracting what you surround yourself with. Even though he might be well-off financially, he attracts sadness and despair. Attracting abundance requires a new state of mind. Like the person with the bad luck who stays positive and happy no matter what happens, you must start to see the positive side to things. And you must believe that positive things can and will happen to you. Even the person with horrible luck has good things happen. But that person has trained himself to see the good things even in events that most of us would dismiss as completely negative. This focus on the positive allows positive energy to flow to that person, even in less-than-great situations. Attracting abundance works in a similar way. A person who believes that, no matter what, he will never have

enough money will probably always be plagued by financial problems because that’s what he believes. His thoughts will attract similar energy. But for the person who shifts his thinking to decide that he wants abundance, and begins to believe that it’s possible will attract a different kind of energy. If you think abundant thoughts and learn to believe them, then you can attract prosperity. A principle of the law of abundance is that the universe creates enough for everyone. And that one person having enough or more than enough does not mean that another person must go without. There is enough for everyone to have more than he or she will ever need. Believing this, and believing that your positive thoughts can ensure that you have what you need and more, are the first steps in attracting abundance and letting prosperity flow into your life.

higher ground

tHe Art oF SePArAting MorAlitY And PoliticS by Cheresa PurneLL

resident Obama’s decision to support gay marriage should not be surprising. In an election year, it is vital to align yourself with entities that possess the greatest influence. Whether we’d like to admit it or not, the gay/lesbian movement has become a potent force in society. President Obama was not going to let his personal moral beliefs supersede his quest to be elected to a second term. Many Black Americans find themselves in this same position when it comes to their political choices. We are often placed in a very precarious predicament of having to separate our personal values from our political views. We repeatedly have to ask ourselves, do we vote according to our individual morals or for the greater social good? Democratic platforms are generally extremely liberal and may be contrary to many Christian beliefs and values. It’s even been noted that Black women are one of the most religious demographic groups in the nation, but they’re also overwhelmingly Democratic. So how are we able to detach our private standards from our political choices? When asked are Black women the leaders at separating morality and politics, this is how one of my friends responded: “Our personal beliefs are just that: personal. I have the right to believe

whatever it is I choose but so does everyone else. While I stand firm on some issues, will teach my children my beliefs and will gladly give my opinion if asked I am also intelligent enough to make some decisions based on the collective good meaning what is good for all people not just me. I also tend to be of the mindset of what will do more harm than good. For example, I am a Christian but let’s say that I have a friend who is not. Will it do more good for me to stop being this person’s friend or am I the only connection that they may have to Christ? Does it make more sense for me to vote Republican because I don’t believe in abortion meanwhile watch the poor and middleclass sink deeper and deeper into the depths of society because they don’t have the finances to stay afloat and in many cases not due to lack of trying? No to me it does not make sense.” Issues such as gay rights or abortion come down to a personal lifestyle choice which unless we are making that choice may never affect us, however, issues such as health care, social security, and education affect us all no matter our situation or orientation. So in actuality we are possibly more apt to vote according to what’s more practical because we are able to exercise our God-given free will over some of the moral issues that our government intervenes.

Although Black women may be the most religious demographic in America, they also have the highest abortion rates as well as newest cases of HIV. With those kind of statistics, one could suggest that Black women isolate biblical principles from their personal decisions on a daily bases. So why Black church leaders are outraged over President Obama’s religious beliefs and political platforms being disengaged, they should be more concerned on how to stay abreast and confront more prevalent matters that affects their congregation. Pastors and the religious community must learn to be proactive instead of reactive to the issues that disturb our ability to thrive! God will hold us all accountable, including our leaders--political or religious, on our stand for righteousness or the lack thereof. Regardless of who is in office, our only true security is in God. Except the LORD build the (White) house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain (Psalms 127:1). We must remain diligent with interceding for those who lead our nation. Our government officials are not our saviors. To pledge allegiance and solely place our trust in either party is irresponsible. God’s people must learn to be wise and lead by the Holy Spirit even when it comes to voting. At the end of the day, I believe our moral responsibility as Christians is to be less distracted with partisan identification and more inclined to fervently and constantly prayer for our leaders and government.

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In the historic 2008 presidential election, a record 184 million people registered to vote and 132 million voted. This represented about a 5 million voter increase from the 2004 presidential election. Research shows that minority voters were almost entirely responsible for the increase. 54

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A voteless People BY Jamil Simmons

ccording to Census data, 66 percent of whites voted in 2008, down 1 percent from 2004. Blacks increased their turnout by 5 percent to 65 percent, nearly matching whites. Hispanics improved turnout by 3 percent, and Asians by 3.5 percent, each reaching a turnout of nearly 50 percent. In all, minorities made up nearly 1 in 4 voters in 2008 -- the most diverse electorate ever, though proposed law changes may slow the momentum moving forward. Unfortunately, there are some in America who want to make the process of registering to vote and voting more difficult. Since 2011, at least 180 restrictive bills have been introduced in 41 states. These proposed laws affect everything from photo ID, voter ID, proof of citizenship, voter registration, early and absentee voting and the restoration of voter rights. Not all of these proposed law changes may affect you. However, up to 11 percent of voting-age American citizens could be affected which translates into about 21 million Americans. The Brennan Center for Justice at New York University School of Law states that a greater percentage of elderly and minority citizens,

and citizens with yearly incomes of less than $35,000 are less likely to possess government-issued photo IDs. It is evident that these proposed new voter laws disenfranchise these groups disproportionately. The state of Texas is a prime example. In one week in August, two different three-judge panels in United States District Court for the District of Columbia found Texas Voting Maps to be Discriminatory and struck down a Texas law which required voters to show government-issued photo identification in order to casting a ballot in November. The first panel found that hat the Texas Congressional, State House and State Senate districts maps as a whole were enacted with a “discriminatory purpose,” and they cited the concerns of black and Hispanic members of Congress who testified that they were excluded from the process of drafting the maps. The judges stated that the maps failed to comply with part of the Voting Rights Act of 1965 The second panel of judges 56-page unanimous ruling found that the Texas Voter ID law, the most stringent of its kind in the country, would

hurt turnout among minority voters and impose “strict, unforgiving burdens on the poor” by charging those voters who lack proper documentation fees to obtain election ID cards. The voter identification bill was signed in May by the Texas governor. However, the law has not taken affect. Due to Section 5 of the Voting Rights Act, Texas and other states with a history of racial discrimination cannot make changes to their voting procedures without first receiving preclearance. So, what must we do? The first thing we must do is educate ourselves on the laws affecting our respective states. The second thing we must do is be proactive in educating our friends, family members and community on how to overcome these possible new laws. Though our nation has made tremendous strides in voting rights over the last 50 years, there is no reason why eager and willing American citizens should be forced into becoming a voteless people. We must resort to America’s historic pursuit of life, liberty and justice for all. This nation has never claimed to be perfect, and it must not cease in its quest to become a more perfect union.

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brothers sPeaK

the PeSSimiStiC effeCtS of houSeholdS. There is a statistic from the U.S. Census Bureau that reports 72% of all African-American children are born to un-married mothers. Additional statistics reports the effects on children in fatherless homes reporting 63% suicide, 93% of all homeless and run-a-ways, 75% of high school drop outs and over 85% of all children with behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes.

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Beamon: I am here today to ask the question why this is important, why did this happen and what can we do about it ? Eric, when you hear that statistic, what do you think? Eric: I think it’s exaggerated. This is a situation that happens, but not to the degree that has been reported. I don’t know if they are trying to portray that African-Americans are irresponsible or don’t understand the value of home and family. Sadeek: In the 70s and 80s, the minority community had a higher rate of single mother homes, reports showed 4% whites and 24% blacks. Looking at how people view marriage today and single parent homes and cohabitation, it is high even with ratio of error. This is a concern regardless if the percentage is exaggerated or not. Julie: There are studies that show 50%-70% [of African-American females are single] depending on where the statistic comes from. You have a percentage that is anywhere between 46%-70%, depending on what you’re reading. I think it may be hard for us to swallow, but we may be in denial. Beamon: In 1965, single mothers in African-American homes were 24%. Reports showed between 4%-29% for a white increase. There seems to be an increase across the board. What do you think has happened over the past 50 years, primarily in the African-American community? Sadeek: Social economic conditions, poverty, and welfare didn’t encourage a male presence. Neither did the drug epidemic of the 80s and 90s or the unfortunate number of black men that went to prison during that time. Women moved on with their life to still enjoy parenthood, but figure they can do it on their own. Sadeek: There are a lot of “us” that were brought up in a single parent homes. We rationalize that

there is no need for a two parent household. So when we go to statistics, where we see a disproportional amount of dropout rates, imprisonment, educational failures and things of that nature and social economic depression that occurs from not having the stability of the two parent home. One parent just can’t do it alone. I have two daughters and couldn’t fool myself to say I could teach them how to be women. The black community has to take responsible for their own view on this. Julie: On the other end of the spectrum, with females from the 60s there was a huge feminist movement. They became breadwinners in the workplace, educated, obtaining careers, and making money. African-American women started making big strides in corporate America. Women now have the financial means to take care of children and not get married either early or at all and still take care of their children. Marriage was put on the back burner so they could get an education, a Masters Degree and work on their careers. Beamon: Talking about the feminist movement and the other factors that have been discussed, why do you think it had such a negative effect on the black community? Eric: I was blessed to have both parents in the home. They drilled into me that it’s important to have a career and be the best that you can be, but it’s also important to have a strong family foundation. That’s where it starts. I think the African-American community has lost the awareness of the importance of family, real family, not the Cosby Show family on TV. I’m speaking of a family that has both the good and bad, the wins and losses of an entire family. Beamon: Thinking about that, you growing up with a mother and father and we see the statics based on fatherless homes, 85% of all youths in prison, and 74% of high school drop-

outs based on government statistics. Is marriage the answer to solving this problem or is it bigger than that? Eric: Its way bigger than that. You have people that come from two parent homes that still end up in jail. On the other side of the coin, I know people who are Doctors that didn’t have two parents present. It’s a combination of a lot of things, but not having that parental presence in the house does play a part. Sadeek: I agree w/ Eric. He made a key point about having stability and sense of community where families and neighbors raised each other’s children. You can be a single parent and still have the extensions of family and support that ensure the children of single families do not fall into these depressive statics about single families. Julie: People think “as long as you have your mother, you’re ok”, but remember for a female, her father is the very first male relationship she has in her life. She is going to base every man after that upon that relationship. The same goes with the male child; he is going base every relationship off that female, his mom. Lupe Fiasco has a song called “Bitch Bad” and basically its talking about if your mother refers to herself as a “Bad Bitch” what is that telling that male and female child? Beamon: Is this something that as a man we should really think about? Regarding how we’re raised based on our so called “rites of passage”, hip hop culture, sex, money, drugs and being with as many women as possible. Could this possibly be a reason why this statistic is so high? Is it on the men that are not staying with or being a part of the lives of their children and leaving them to un-married mothers? Eric: Let me remove gender and make it about being a responsible human being first and foremost. I think the responsibility has to be on

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everyone as a whole and be aware of what’s appropriate and what isn’t. Young people are sponges and they just soak up information. The rap videos and Real House Wives of Atlanta, they’re soaking it up, instead of reading a book or speaking to a mentor but they feel are out of their reach. You have to know, as a parent, what your kids are listening to. My Mother and Father didn’t let me get away w/ anything. I didn’t like it when I was younger, but at the same time they would say “It’s not like I didn’t tell you not to do it because I didn’t want you to do it, I know what’s out there, I am aware of the things that can hurt you.” Julie: I agree with Eric 100%. I’m someone who loves hip hop music and will always listen to it. But loving hip hop, I can understand that it is adult entertainment, it is not for children. I would not let a child listen to the things I am listening to. I am older and can process it. They don’t need to be listening to my music and watching the Hangover with me. That’s where I see the lines blur with parents, they are not filtering what these children are watching. Sadeek: They are exposed to it and it’s often glamorized. It’s something for them to seek out, like the “Baby Mama” phenomenon. That’s something to be proud of. I have to say, in some instances there are a lot of “us” in the black community that fall short that would rather settle for certain things, like having several children with someone that isn’t a productive person in society. Why? Again, it’s what we as individuals accept. Until we want better for ourselves, these statistics are going to keep rising. Julie: Right! If your father is running around with a bunch of different women, what does that show you as a young boy? If your mother has a bunch of different men running in and out the house, what does that show you as a young girl? We are the examples. I have a 5 year old neph-

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ew and I’m always telling him not to hit girls and it will resonate with him as an adult. I’m just the aunt, but I’m still helping to help raise him right into a man and do the right thing. We all can contribute. Beamon: These types of conversations have been going on since the 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s. What can we do better? Are there any other factors that we can take as far as government or schools or the laws that are getting in the way of us fighting through and improving this? Sadeek: I think it all starts inside the home. To bring the government into the conversation is premature. Inside the home we have the responsibility of the rearing of these children. We have to take a responsibility. First and foremost, we need to acknowledge the fact that there is an issue and become educated on it, then “each one, teach one”. We need to find the remedy ourselves before we go looking to the outside. Julie: Education is definitely a key to all of this. As far as the government, I can’t really say that we can count on the government to be jumping up and down to help out black folks. That has never been their forte. The responsibility does lie with us. Mentor programs, afterschool programs, head start programs are good programs and being cut left and right. Eric: The first thing that popped in my head when you talked about from the government stand point was the resources. When it comes to the government, they give us resources, but we don’t look at it as resources. For example, I’m right down the street from the Harold Washington Library and that is a huge resource. This library is 8 floors of wall to wall knowledge. A lot of times what we rely on other people to give to us; we don’t plan and try to get it ourselves. Eric: For instance, if the government is cutting a $50k mentorship pro-

gram, we should go to the library and figure out how to start a mentoring program and keep the process going. A mentoring program can be you in a room with 50 people talking about what their goals and dreams are, that’s a mentoring program. Sadeek: Say it again! Eric: I think that’s something as a community we rely on people to give us what we can get ourselves. It’s going to take some hard work, effort, and long nights. But at the end of the day, that’s something no one can take away from you. Julie: It will take a little creativity, like your example of starting your own mentoring program. It takes a little creativity, but the resources are there. As a child I was in the library every two weeks. How many parents can say they take their kids to the library on Saturday morning? So many parents can do it but many do not. Eric: I feel the “system” is designed to make it seem like the information is unattainable when it’s right in front of you. A library card is free. You can get the same books from Barnes and Noble at the library for free. So what’s the overall reason you’re not getting the information? Julie: These kids can get this information on their phone. There is no reason this generation isn’t as smart as they could be. They have everything at their fingertips. There’s no reason for them not know. Sadeek: They need to be encouraged to do that. Julie: Yes, that’s what it is. It makes all the difference in the world. Sadeek: You’re talking about the revolutionary culture. Even when talking about the Panthers and other community organizations, they didn’t have these resources and government funding. But they made

it happen and they educated from within. That’s where I say we need to educate from within. Julie: We are in a different culture; it’s not a revolutionary culture at this time. This is a very much materialistic culture. It’s hard to say “lets read a book and this will get you what you need” when you have people out there not understanding Jay-Z and these athletes worked hard for what they have, they only see the end results. We have a very different generation and a lot of things to work on. Sadeek: Education seems to be resonating in a lot of these questions’ responses. Education is the key, I agree. Julie: If you look at the revolutionary culture, they knew the law. These weren’t dumb people that did the sit-ins at Kent University, they were in college. You’re absolutely right, it is with education. Revolution is in education; that’s how you learn to organize and get things together. Look at the public school system, why do you have to be in a lottery to get a great education, that’s crazy. There is no reason why your education should be determined on a rolling ball, that’s nuts! If you look at the public school educations right now, its crap. And this is why we have people from India

and China; we have to import talent in because our children here are not getting the basics. They don’t know the difference between “there”, “their”, and “they’re”. Sadeek: Producing a generation of laborers. Julie: Yes! But there’s no labor out there anymore. You can’t be a blue-collar worker w/ a high school education and make money anymore. We’re in a technical environment. Sadeek: We’re falling further and further behind. If they fail out or complete school without the tools they need to advance in a technological society, they will regress back to all the things that we discussed that are detrimental to having a productive upbringing in a single parent household. Sadeek: So what is the solution? Beamon: Do you see any good things happening in the community that should be replicated as a solution? Eric: Placing more value on the people in the community. Everyone with

a brain is a potential genius. People need to find out what their interest, dreams and goals are. Once we figure that out, it’s our responsibility to help them get to that point. Even though we have a lot of “bad” people in the community, everybody had a dream and a goal. It may be dormant at the time, but if you expose that person to the right information at the right time, you’ll have your next president, astronaut or surgeon. Julie: I think this conversation is important, but what I think that it did was really conclude that there are so many factors that contribute to black failure or black success. It’s going to take a lot of thinking, a lot of work, a lot of dialogue and hopefully we can actually come to some type of progress. Sadeek: I have this responsibility inside my own home to educate my two little ones and then all the rest of my extended family. They need to be familiar w/ this topic which could be qualified as an epidemic and how to avoid the pitfalls. My first goal is to process all of this information and formulate my own solution to it and see what I can profligate from there. Julie: Yes, to make sure that your family doesn’t become a statistic.

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born

to be An oPtiMiSt? The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; WinSton cHurcHill

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n optimist, when faced with a problem, tends to find the upside to the situation and starts figuring out ways to solve that problem, or ways to turn it around. A pessimist, however, immediately throws up his hands, and yells, “That’s it; it’s all over. I can’t handle this anymore.” Or he will distance himself from the problem, pretending it doesn’t matter. This is denial, and it never works. According to the world’s foremost expert on optimism, Dr. Martin Seligman, everyone is born optimistic. And yet, 95% of grownups are pessimists, not optimists. What goes wrong? Some people see the glass as half empty. Others see it as half full. But is it really as simple as that? Is it possible to be a bit of both? When you think about it, most people tend to be an optimist sometimes and a pessimist other times. Ironically, a lot of times things turn out according to how we feel about the situation. If a person feels like something will go well or feels optimistic about it, it usually seems to go well. The same is true of the reverse. When someone feels like something will go badly, it tends to do just that. An indication that you are dealing with a pessimist is in a simple phrase they will use in stressful situations - “I can’t”. The pessimist is helpless, powerless and it shows in his response. The optimist responds with - “I won’t”. The optimist is making a conscious choice, not just reacting. An optimist prefers to think more positively. They focus on what they really want, not what might happen to them.

l Optimists are happier, healthier and more energetic than pessimists l Optimists are easier to be around, inspiring people around to be positive l Optimists live longer and suffer from fewer and less severe diseases l Besides the above, optimist’s lead higher quality of life. These are all probably true just by the fact that optimists’ positive thinking makes challenging situations “not that bad” after all. Now true optimism is not sitting back, thinking positive thoughts, and hoping everything will turn out all right. It’s how you see the world, positively rather than negatively. You face each situation, each problem, and each occasion with a positive attitude; and you always look forward to the “benefits” you will derive from it.

more power on your side to help you through those tough times. You’ll bounce back faster and make better choices, rather than letting life just wash over you. You’ll learn to be proactive, instead of reactive. If you’re not naturally optimistic and positive, don’t worry. You can learn how to use your thoughts to change your attitude and emotions. It won’t be easy. Some days will be very challenging, but you can do it. Improving your optimism rates is one of the most important actions you can take to improve your life. It doesn’t come automatically, though. It takes effort. It takes deliberate, conscious awareness of your thoughts and feelings. Each time you think a negative thought, stop right there and turn it around to find the positive aspect of the situation. Do this each time and build on it. It will become a habit to be positive and upbeat about your life. Here’s one starting point:

You have a choice. “Change your thoughts and change your world,” said Norman Vincent Peale. What it comes down to is that your attitude is a conscious choice. If you choose pessimism, you’re choosing to see the down side of every situation, judge people unfairly, and live unhappily the rest of your life. What an oppressive existence! On the other hand, if you choose optimism, you’re empowering yourself to see the positive side of each challenge, seeing the good in people, helping them to see the good in life too. Taking action to further improve your own life, and living happily with friends and family who care about you.

Practice your ‘positive thinking’ and your ‘positive feeling’. Give yourself permission to think new thoughts and feel new feelings. You can be as optimistic as you want that you will attract wealth, for that new car or new house. The productive action helps to push things to that end, and you will get there. So I would say to you: Be Optimistic! Expect the best out of life! Just Think and Act Optimistically.

Think about the following statements: l Optimists achieve their goals because they never give up l Optimists attract Success naturally

Choosing to be more optimistic and positive does not mean you won’t encounter difficult times, trauma, loss and many challenges. What it does mean is that you will have

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nada, zip, zilch (What most kids know about preparing for college.)

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