thislife magazine issue 10 by Tonya Hester

winter 2014

thislife

How to have

really great

relationships

Cape

Issue 10

FREE www.thislife.org.za

in search of meaning

Bryan Habana on baby and being booed

Town: live the life!

Speedy

cheesy heaven

WIN!

Great prizes Plastic surgeon: ‘I destroyed my own eye’

The ‘Noakes diet’:

what do local medics say?

stories of hope l local living l contemporary faith

contents

ON THE COVER

Cover photos by: Tonya Hester, Craig Fraser/www.quivertreeimages.com, Tertius Pickard/Gallo images

picture by Gill Fordyce

04 locallife Live the life in Cape Town! Eat, run, read and go to a quirky little theatre… 06 sportymoment Bryan Habana on France, fatherhood and getting booed 10 medicalmoment The ‘Noakes diet’: what do our local medics say? 13 foodielife Speedy cheesy heaven (and it’s low carb!)

21 personallife How to have really great relationships

AND THE REST 08 everydayheroes A day in the life of Eleanor Bester, children’s shelter manager 14 creativemoment Unemployment is the mother of invention for Andile Sigasana and his family 16 mylife ‘Being deaf doesn’t bother me,’ says Claremont mother June Bothma 22 teenlife A daily message galvanises local teens 24 coolstories ‘I destroyed my own eye’: plastic surgeon 26 infomoment Courses/groups/support for YOU 27 surveymoment Enter our reader survey for your chance to win R2,000 28 marketplace Local classifieds (take the las out of looking) 32 retailtherapy Made in SA! Gifts and goods you feel great about buying

PRIZES: up for grabs in this issue • A R2,000 restaurant voucher p27 • Two nights’ B & B for two in Paternoster donated by Farr Out Guesthouse p19 • WIN! One night’s B & B for two in Hermanus donated by Abalone Guest Lodge p15 • Dinner for two donated by Harbour House Restaurant, V & A Waterfront p25

• Prof Tim Noakes’ ‘The Real Meal Revolution’ donated by Quivertree Publications p12 • ‘It’s all about Mimi’ satirical cartoon collection signed and donated by author Denise Dorrance p5

CONGRATS to the winners from our last issue:

Shirley Britain, Kensington; Kelvin Dippnall, Fish Hoek; Linda Duitsman, Sea Point; Clive Human, Meadowridge; Kate Lewis, Diep River; Lisa Matterson, Claremont; Cynthia Roberts, Kenilworth; Desmond Petersen, Elsies River

COMPETITIONS ALL COMPETITIONS IN THIS MAGAZINE END 31 August 2014. Really sorry if you’re from afar, but all prizes need to be picked up in Cape Town! Normal SMS rates apply (so sorry, free SMSes won’t work) THE BORING BUT TRUE BIT: Please note that all our prizes, including any physical activities, are undertaken entirely at your own risk: we can’t accept any liability whatsoever for any damage or loss you may incur. Also, we may use your name in the next issue of thislife or other channels for publicity purposes. By entering any thislife competition, you accept these terms

CONTACT US Want to give input, or send a comment or question to anyone who wrote in this magazine? Email Katy at thislifemag@gmail.com Physically deliver anything (mark it Katy @ thislife mag) to Christ Church Centre, 16 Summerley Road, Kenilworth, tel 021 797 6332

thislife.org.za | issue 10

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Hello...

Woohoo, celebrate issue number 10 with us!

and

welcome to thislife magazine!

WHEN our neighbourhood started buzzing

with ‘the Noakes diet’, several members of my extended family decided to try it, as well as my husband and myself. We wanted to find out for ourselves what had propelled The Real Meal Revolution into the SA publishing stratosphere, making it the fastest-selling book ever, barring Harry Potter. We stuck at it religiously for 12 weeks, and pretty much enjoyed the experience. The recipes are delicious and we never felt deprived – how could you be with limitless amounts of fried halloumi? We both lost weight, but while my husband’s cholesterol readings improved and he felt fantastic, some of mine deteriorated (though others improved), and I didn’t experience an energy surge. Our conclusion? It’s not a one-size-fits-all diet, which is what the local medics we interview on p10 point out. We showcase their wide range of opinion and leave it to you, our intelligent readers, to draw your own conclusions. If you try this way of eating, please do it under expert medical supervision or I’ll punish you in our next issue with pics of my pre-Noakes husband in a mankini… Just joking, Neil.

a recession was crazy on the face of it, but somehow it worked, and we thank you from the bottom of our collective little hearts for all your interest and involvement that keep us alive and kicking! Ten life-consuming, sleepgobbling issues on, I still don’t believe there’s a better job in the world than editing this magazine. In my book, the thousands of stories of hope and goodness out there in Cape Town and beyond are more than a match for local and global wretchedness and warring. Take a look at June Bothma’s attitude to her deafness (p16), Andile Sigasana’s refusal to let unemployment defeat him (p14), Eleanor Bester’s devotion to running a children’s shelter (p8), and the true grit of a South African plastic surgeon living in America who turned round the curve ball of destroying his own eye (p24). All these people are spurred on by their love for God and the power they believe He rolls out into their lives, and that’s something that spurs on all of us at thislife, too. We trust you’ll like their stories.

Moving rapidly on, you’re now reading the tenth issue of thislife! Launching this Cape Town local magazine in PS In case you’re wondering, thislife is anchored by a cool group of Anglican churches in Cape Town (www.stjohns.org.za). PPS Thank you to those who write to us – we love it! Contact us

any time on thislifemag@gmail.com – gripes included!

Relax and enjoy!

Katy Macdonald, Ed

Go to thislife magazine and ‘like’ us to receive our local living posts – humour, food, great photos of Cape Want another Town – and sometimes copy of thislife ? something a bit more Go to profound!

www.thislife.org.za

TO ADVERTISE WITH US contact Rebecca on sales.thislifemag@gmail.com or 072 802 7022 Other options: click on www.thislife.org.za or ask for Linda on 021 797 6332

OUR TEAM: Editor Katy Macdonald | Picture/Production editor Tonya Hester | Writers Susan Bentley, Kendi Mugambi, Jill Bader

for our distribution details

Designer Stevie de Wit | Additional layout Simone Potter | Advertising/marketing/distribution Rebecca Parry, Mary Holgate Consultants Brian Burnett, Angie Tate, Cindy Webber

thislife.org.za | issue 10

locallife

Local living

what’s new in cape town?

run (or shuffle)...

THERE ARE THOSE WHO EXERCISE and those who’d rather stick pins in their eyes. Anyone game for the former may be interested in ‘parkruns’, a concept imported to South Africa by Comrades legend Bruce Fordyce. A parkrun he attended in London galvanised him into action: ‘I was struck by the sight of hundreds of very unathletic people thoroughly enjoying themselves,’ he enthuses. Characterised by being free (thanks to community volunteer input), just 5km long and above all, happy, parkruns were initiated by Fordyce in 2011 in Jozi (well, someone’s got to help those Gautengers). Three years later, over 55,000 South Africans are registered parkrunners pounding safe, traffic-free terrain all over SA. Participants find their own pace, so you can be a lycra blur using the run as a warmup or lag at the back with a dog/child/babe-in-buggy. Children are welcome (under 11s must be accompanied).

(or shuffle)…

Two final bonuses: optional post-run refreshments with your corunners at a local coffee shop, and global sporting connections: once you’re registered in SA, you can participate in free parkruns in eight countries round the world!

watch...

Gill Fordyce

Cape Town has four marvellous locations. You can’t really call them just parks, but they’re all the better for that: Fish Hoek, Big Bay, Rondebosch Common and eco-friendly Green Point Park, complete with stadium views. Stellenbosch has one on a wine farm and another about to pop up. As you prance along, endorphinised, in these great spots, you may wonder if life can get any better.

The Cape’s free parkruns start at 8am every Saturday Click on www.parkruns.co.za for details, and for free registration

Care for an evening of great live entertainment

without the crowds or the clichés? Try the intimate Rosebank Theatre, which seats just 50 in a diminutive Victorian cottage. The building, just off Liesbeek Parkway, is a gift from Alexander McCall Smith, celebrated author of The Ladies’ No 1 Detective Agency series, to his longtime buddy Nicholas Ellenbogen, who’s often to be seen here in one of his own locally-inspired plays. Winner of the 2014 Fleur de Cap Lifetime Achievement Award for Theatre and well known for liberally spiking his productions with humour and quirkiness, Ellenbogen is a thespian dynamo who started the Olympia Café and Kalk Bay theatres with his actress wife Liz. Together, they’ve crafted a small but extremely accomplished theatre company. Ellenbogen even built all the seating himself, not bad for an arty bloke. The theatre serves hot/cold drinks and wine before the show and during the interval. Otherwise a drink at the equally arty Alma Café, just one block down, isn’t a bad plan.

The Rosebank Theatre: 16 Alma Road, Rosebank. Call 021 689 5172 or 074 101 5066 (Sean) to book. Alternatively, www.theatreforafrica.co.za 4

thislife.org.za | issue 10

locallife

What’s good in your neighbourhood?

eat...

Let us know on thislifemag@gmail.com

MEET SABABA , Cape Town’s just-opened answer to Ottolenghi. The latter, in case it slipped your mind, is the Middle Eastern chef who’s taken London’s culinary world by storm. Clean and contemporary, this small lunch spot near the top of Bree Street offers vast and delicious platters of colourful, fresh and uncomplicated food that leaves you feeling good. All you need do is point: funkyish staff plate up your choice for you. Try the ‘lunchbox’ deal: for R60 to R80 you get a serving of fish/chicken/fillet plus three alluring salads from a wide range of options: think likeable roasted veg/couscous/bright green beans in a mustard and yoghurty sauce. Sababa (Hebrew slang for ‘awesome’) started as a stand manned at the Old Biscuit Mill market in Woodstock by owner Tal Smith. ‘We serve the kind of healthy and affordable food everyone would love to cook in their homes if they had the time,’ says Tal, who’s of eclectic Middle Eastern and European heritage but grew up in Cape Town.

Try Sababa’s ‘falafel nights’ on the first Thursday of the month, cunningly synchronised with ‘First Thursdays Cape Town’, the night when central Cape Town stays open late for art, music and shopping: it’s R55 per pitta stuffed to the brim with falafel (deep-fried chickpea balls), salads and dips.

gasp…

Pluses: nice vibe, food on your plate within two minutes of you walking in if you need it, self-service jugs of herby water, good coffee (acceptably priced). Minuses: introverts might find it noisy and overcrowded at lunch hour peak when it’s full of locals getting takeaways – but there are pavement tables outside for a lovely day and ‘treehouse’ seating for 12 at the back.

‘First Thursdays Cape Town’ : Central Cape Town hosts arty happenings and keeps its galleries and shops open till late. For more info, click on www.first-thursdays.co.za

Sababa Kitchen and Deli 231 Bree Street, Cape Town, 021 424 7480. Open Monday to Friday 7am to 4pm. Thursday falafel nights: 6pm to 9pm

Meet Mimi, an urban stylista of note. Permanently sporting sunglasses and a little black outfit, Mimi breezes through her day brazenly behaving in ways that we’re all tempted to at times. Motherhood is a particular challenge for her. ‘She’s a bad mother, but I get her!’ says her American creator, Denise Dorrance (presumably a good mother since it was drawing picture stories to amuse her son, Louis, that got her cartooning in the first place).

Denise’s wickedly witty cartoons are celebrated in Britain, where Mimi appears regularly in The Mail on Sunday and the highbrow The Spectator, but Seffricans may be interested to hear that Denise has local links via her SA film maker husband, Paul Yule. Though living in London, the family has been holidaying in South Africa for years, and when Paul took up a temporary teaching post at UCT recently, they relocated to Kalk Bay, staying in a house built by his grandfather. Now back in London for Louis to finish his schooling, ‘Kalk Bay is firmly placed in our hearts and in our future,’ says Denise.

WIN !

‘It’s all ab ou

t Mim

i’ satirical signed by cartoon collection author Den ise Dorran w w w.de ce nisedorr ance.com Simply SM SM for your c IMI to 33808 ha nc Competiti e to win. on 31 Augus ends t 2014

thislife.org.za | issue 10

A South African abroad

Bryan Habana and wife Janine in Paris this year with her close friends and former bridesmaids, Nadia Beukes (far left) and Wilma du Toit (far right)

IF you haven’t heard of Bryan Habana, either you’re not South African or you’ve stopped breathing. One of the world’s most prolific try scorers, he’s the most capped Springbok wing ever, holds a ridiculous number of records and is instantly recognisable by his enormous smile and boyish looks. Now 31, Bryan was born in Johannesburg, the middle child of parents Bernie and Faith. He attended King Edward VII School in Johannesburg, then embarked on a B.Sc in IT at Rand Afrikaans University (now the University of Johannesburg) before rugby eventually put paid to his studies. Originally an outside centre and scrumhalf at school and university, Bryan’s performance improved vastly once he was moved to the wing. His career has spanned stints for the Blue Bulls and four successful seasons playing for the Stormers. In 2007, after key performances with South Africa’s victorious World Cup squad, he was named Player of the Year by the International Rugby Board. In 2009, Bryan married his longtime girlfriend, Janine Viljoen, a sports science graduate, and last year they moved from Plattekloof in Cape Town to France where he has been playing for Toulon alongside the likes of English superstar Jonny Wilkinson. The Habanas are expecting their first baby, a son, later this year. 6

thislife.org.za | issue 10

sportymoment

Rugby superstar Bryan Habana on getting booed, his wife Janine, their baby, and why he’s still proudly South African

here did you meet Janine? At RAU back in 2002. She was in the hostel next to mine

Was it love at first sight? Janine definitely sent heartbeats racing all over campus and there was an initial glance that stood out for both of us, but we were really good friends for over two years before anything got serious

given in my life, I feel that God is the one constant in my life – to lean on when the going gets tough, and to celebrate good times with Coolest thing about God? His unwavering grace

Most irritating habit in self? Procrastination

How do you connect to God? I find that making quiet time throughout day, no matter how long or short, is a good way of connecting to God rather than just a once-off. I also love to listen to praise and worship music when I drive or travel

Most irritating habit in others? Fickleness

I really should stop… Trying to please everyone

One thing not a lot of people know about Bryan Habana is… I failed my first driving test!

Guilty pleasure? Gadgets!!!

In my fridge right now is… Some baguettes, cheese, jambon cru (French for cold meat), Coke Zero, water, fruit and veg, yoghurt, a lot of sauces (chutney, tomato, sweet chilli, Tabasco, lime pickle…) Make me president and I’d… Try my best to improve job creation and get rid of corruption Hardest thing you ever had to do and how you coped? Being booed off the field in 2010 while playing for the Springboks in Bloemfontein. I’d been having a poor run of form and was substituted early in the second half. It was a difficult one to deal with. The harder I tried, the worse the downward spiral became. I had to go back to the drawing board, work harder than ever before in areas I identified as needing improvement, and continually reassure myself I was still good enough to represent the Springboks. Helping me make these changes were not only loving friends and family but also knowledgeable people who never stopped believing in me (Pieter de Villiers played an integral role). I tried to reassess where I was not only as a player but as a person, and come back better! People who’ve inspired me are… The 1995 World Cup team led by Francois Pienaar. Seeing how the team united a nation and gave our beautiful country hope was immense and instilled a dream within me to do the same. Watching Nelson Mandela walk out onto Ellis Park wearing that number six Springbok jersey was also a great moment of inspiration for me Once I started playing rugby, since I was originally a scrumhalf, Joost van der Westhuizen and George Gregan were great role models of the type of player I wanted to become. When I moved to centre, Brian O’Driscoll and Tana Umaga were the best in the world and I wanted to be as good, if not better, than they were

Best piece of motivational advice you’ve been given? If you want to stay number one, train as if you’re number two! How do you feel about the baby coming? Janine and I are very excited. It really is a miracle seeing how, from nothing, this little person starts to develop and grow within her womb. Absolutely mind-blowing What do you like most about France? Although the language barrier is rather tough, being able to travel around Europe is definitely something we’re enjoying. I’m also loving their baguettes, meats and cheeses. I’ve yet to try frog legs Can you be anonymous in Toulon? In Toulon it’s rather difficult as this city really and truly loves its rugby and the RCT supporters are diehard fans who support the team through thick and thin. Europe, though, does allow for a little more anonymity and it’s easier not to have a meal disturbed by someone wanting an autograph or photo What do you miss most about South Africa? Wow, there’s quite a bit we’re missing, hey! Being so far away from your family and friends is not easy and we’re missing them terribly. Being out of the country makes you truly appreciate how unique and beautiful South Africa is. Even though we’ve issues that need resolving, I’ll always be proudly South African After rugby, what’s next? As things stand, I’ve a threeyear contract with Toulon and might stay on a year or two longer if I feel I’m still physically and mentally up to the rigours of the game. As for what’s after rugby, I don’t quite know yet, hey! You try to make a couple of good investments while you’re playing and hopefully I’ve also created some good relationships with business in which I believe I could play a role Best spiritual read? Psalm 139. It’s a constant reminder of how intimately God knows us

Why God? Besides the abundant blessings that I’ve been

this page proudly sponsored by Neville Wellington, Charlie Miller and Eric Kok

thislife.org.za | issue 10

everydayheroes

my job e

leanor Bester, 59, is project manager of Heaven’s Nest, a temporary safe-care facility for 15 children in Ottery, Cape Town. Born in District Six and raised in Woodstock, she studied social work at the University of the Western Cape and now lives in Strandfontein. Divorced in 2011 after 34 years of marriage, Eleanor has three adult sons: Victor, Russell and Junior.

‘My first thought on waking is Heaven’s Nest – always a joyful thought! I have a bowl of cereal, drive to work and it’s one of my favourite times of day when the children call my name and come running up to say hello. Heaven’s Nest opened in 2004. I was one of a group trying to respond to the AIDS crisis. We’d set up a soup kitchen and vegetable garden and this opened our eyes to the need for temporary care for neglected and abused children in the community. We started it with almost nothing and learnt to just get things done. Our children are aged six months to eight years. The mix of backgrounds and circumstances is amazing, and every day offers up a moment to laugh or cry. When children first arrive, they’re fearful, uncertain and often deeply sad: I’ll never forget the pain I felt when three siblings who’d been locked up in a shack

thislife.org.za | issue 10

Tonya Hester 2014

A day in the life of Eleanor Bester, children’s shelter manager

for days came to us with heads bandaged to cover the lesions made by rats. But then there was joy when a traumatised one-year-old who hadn’t expressed emotion for three weeks suddenly gave me a broad smile. This is a temporary safe-care facility, so if the parents respond well to child-rearing education, we send the children home – if not, they go into foster care. In a typical day, I spend time with each child to see if they’re unwell or troubled, and juggle tasks from report writing to shopping. Fundraising is one of my biggest challenges. Our days are incredibly busy and the phone rings off the hook at times. I have something light for lunch, normally at my desk. All staff are free to chat with me whenever they need to – and they do! We have eight child and youth care workers who work in pairs on twelve-hour shifts, plus volunteer helpers.

tenacious I’ve learnt to be very tenacious managing Heaven’s Nest, and I’d say that my inner strength has developed! We pray all the time and our needs are supplied. In the early days, typing out information to prospective funders took up so much of my time. I prayed about this and had thought a fax machine would be useful, but we didn’t have the money. One day I was sitting at my desk typing another letter and I thought to myself, ‘No! I really do

need a fax.’ The doorbell rang, and standing there was a man with a fax machine! He’d been given a new one that day and thought I might be able to use his old one. There’d be no Heaven’s Nest without God! It’s human to blame Him for these children going through such hard times but the ‘blame game’ is so shallow – there’s a much deeper life available to us.

cricket

At the end of the day, I go home and relax over supper. I love cooking and believe the best meals are cooked at home. I watch a bit of TV with my youngest son, Junior – he’s a cricket writer for The Argus so we watch a lot of cricket! Then I have a good sleep in preparation for the next day at Heaven’s Nest. I was orphaned at the age of 13 and lived with my sister, Audrey, until I got married. I was lucky to have siblings who cared or I might have landed up in a children’s home myself. That’s why, at Heaven’s Nest, I insist on good quality care in a space and environment that’s pleasant and will be a good memory in the children’s minds. Children are probably the greatest gifts we can ever receive and I take enormous satisfaction in ensuring they get the love, care and respect they deserve. I feel so honoured when children we’ve cared for come back to visit.’

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thislife.org.za | issue 10

medicalmoment

Craig Fraser/www.quivertreeimages.com

CARB revolution Thanks to Professor Tim Noakes, Capetonians are shunning carbohydrates in their droves – but what do local medics think?

He’s set the cat well and truly amongst the dietary pigeons with his claims that a traditional ‘healthy’ diet is doing many of us harm, and that just one apple and one banana a day will keep some of us overweight for life. With his controversial Real Meal Revolution science-cum-recipe book that blames carbs for many ills and claims we’ll get thin by eating the fat on our chops, UCT’s Prof Noakes has stuck his neck high above the nutritional parapet. But he’s got a large and growing number of followers, both in Cape Town and abroad, and it’s the best-selling South African book ever. The Australian cricket team’s doctor, Peter Brukner, calls him ‘my hero’ and hundreds of people are saying Tim Noakes has transformed their health and their bodies. His team is now working on a budget version of the diet that could spread it to millions in South Africa and beyond. But is this maverick on to something huge that helps explain global obesity or is this just another fad that will fade − or, worse still, do us harm? thislife asked some respected local medics what they think…

THE LARGELY ‘PRO’ CARDIOLOGIST Dr Philip Mills, non-interventional preventative cardiologist, Constantiaberg Hospital ‘I’ve been prescribing a low-carbohydrate, high-fat (LCHF) diet to some of my patients for several years now, and there’s no doubt that for many it’s a great tool for inducing weight loss and improving heart health. Professor Tim Noakes is 100% spot on with his ‘anti-carb’ and ‘anti-diabesity’ (diabetes and obesity) campaign. All carbohydrates, whether simple, processed or refined, are particularly addictive and trigger brain receptors in a very similar way to cocaine and nicotine: highly addictively! The idea that fat-free and low-fat is better for you is an ill-conceived dietary path we’ve been led down for the past 50 years. A Woman’s Health Initiative trial1 set up by the American government followed 48 835 women between the ages of 50 and 79 years for an average of 8.1 years and discovered that reducing total fat intake and increasing intake of vegetables, fruits and grains did not 10 thislife.org.za | issue 10

significantly reduce the risk of heart disease in postmenopausal women, and produced only modest effects on the heart disease risk factors. This suggests that other dietary and lifestyle interventions may be needed to improve risk factors and reduce heart risk. Heart disease is the number one killer worldwide, and in Sub-Saharan Africa it’s no different2. You can’t always tell by looking at someone how high their risk for heart disease is. Of 2,000 ‘healthy’ 50-year-old men and women you see walking down the street, less than five actually have truly healthy hearts! Typically in my practice, I see an average 8kg weight loss at three months and 12 to 15kg after six months of a supervised LCHF lifestyle, with significant improvement in heart health parameters. In addition, on LCHF, a spectrum of ‘auto-immune’ diseases like psoriasis, arthritis, thyroiditis and leaky-gut syndromes are often markedly improved because of the elimination of gluten and other ‘grass-seed proteins’ from the diet. I’ve had patients whose psoriasis totally disappeared on this diet. The principle of reducing carbs has been known for hundreds of years. William Banting,

on whose diet Prof Noakes has based

The Real Meal Revolution, wrote about it in

1864, observing ‘obesity seems to me very little understood’.3 Little has changed since then!

Atkins, Paleolithic, Dukan and Eco-Atkins are all variations of the LCHF lifestyle. The science behind reducing carbs to less than 10% of daily calories and increasing fat to about 60% of calories is well established in many clinical trials,4-5 and they come up trumps for weight loss comparing head-to-head with traditional high-carb, low-fat trials6. In my experience, people usually look and feel far better on LCHF lifestyles compared to traditional low-fat or low-calorie diets because they lose body fat, not muscle. If they add daily exercise to the programme, people tend to look really great. However, this way of eating is not a panacea or a ‘one-size-fits-all’ way of eating. The type of people who respond well to it are those with ‘middle-age-spread’, type II (lifestyle-induced) diabetics, and people with insulin resistance or ‘metabolic syndrome’ (visceral obesity and abnormalities of glucose, blood pressure and lipoprotein). These people generally respond well to LCHF diets and will improve virtually all

medicalmoment metabolic parameters of heart health as they lose weight.

sugars and processed carbs add to cognitive decline (dementia) with age.

comes to diets. They’re hard to stick to longterm or prove in studies.

A major drawback of the LCHF diet is that a third of people on it will not improve their lipoprotein parameters but go in completely the opposite direction! This is why this diet must be medically supervised by someone who can interpret all the data and check you’re moving in the right direction, with improvement in all metabolic parameters. (As a general rule, I monitor people’s atherogenic and anti-atherogenic lipoproteins; their inflammatory markers such as us-CRP; glucose levels and, if they are diabetic, HbA1c levels).

It’s important to understand that LCHF lifestyles are only part of the solution to health. I see many healthy eaters who are not healthy because of other risk factors such as smoking, stress, too much alcohol and lack of weight-bearing exercise.’

Professor Noakes’s Real Meal Revolution claims statins aren’t actually helping the majority of people who take them to control their cholesterol. This is completely contradictory to all the evidence I have seen.

Other drawbacks of LCHF include gout and fruity ‘ketone-breath’. As the body adapts from burning carbs to body fat, a process that lasts one to two weeks, you can feel shaky, fatigued and experience ‘brain fog’ until fat-burning (ketosis) is in full swing. Gentle exercise, plenty of water and brightly coloured vegetables with higher potassium and magnesium during this transition help remedy this. The key lies in practising a LCHF lifestyle correctly, as there’s a lot of misunderstanding. People think it’s a high protein diet, which it’s not – in fact, it’s critically important to keep protein intake at normal levels, otherwise the physiology of the diet breaks down. The carbohydrate restriction should be tailored to the individual’s physiology and may be minimal (about 150g carb per day) to severe (less than 60g a day). Some people are concerned about the red meat on the diet, but the different styles of LCHF available (Paleolithic/Atkins/EcoAtkins) tend to address this within a person’s taste. I’m personally not too concerned about red meat intake (though I limit it to about once or twice a week), but have a preference for a ‘Spanish Mediterranean ketogenic LCHF diet’7 with a high proportion of vegan and fish ‘good’ oils, olives, olive oil, nuts and seeds and oily fish such as mackerel, sardines, pilchards and salmon. I’m also not concerned about LCHF diets cutting down on fruit as vegetables, nuts, seeds and salads can supply all the minerals, fibre, trace elements, electrolytes, oils, fats and vitamins the body requires. As a cardiologist, I disagree, however, with Professor Noakes’s views that lipoproteins have no relation to heart disease and that statins aren’t generally useful for those with high cholesterol (abnormal lipoproteins). Evidence-based data shows irrefutable benefit for those with the conventional risk profile for heart disease. People think you have to be careful once you hit 50, but in fact it’s the first five decades of life that make the difference to heart health. One of the principles of healthy longevity is to be lean, as this slows our cellular degradation and promotes ‘longevity’ hormones and chemicals. There’s considerable evidence that people who restrict their carbs ‘age’ their brains better, and that diets high in simple

References: 1. Low-Fat Dietary Pattern and Risk of Cardiovascular Disease. Website: www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/ pubmed/16467234 2. Risk Factors Associated with Myocardial Infarction in Africa. The INTERHEART Africa study. Website: http://circ.ahajournals.org/content/112/23/3554 3. Letter on Corpulence, by William Banting. Website: www.proteinpower.com/banting/ 4. Effects of a Low–Glycemic Load vs Low-Fat Diet in Obese Young Adults. A Randomised Trial. Ebbeling C et al. JAMA. 2007;297:2092-2102 5. Carbohydrate-restricted diet in conjunction with metformin and liraglutide is an effective treatment in patients with deteriorated type 2 diabetes mellitus: proof-of-concept study. Website: http://www.nutritionandmetabolism.com/content/8/1/92 6. Comparison of the Atkins, Zone, Ornish and LEARN Diets for Change in Weight and Related Risk Factors among Overweight Premenopausal Women. The A TO Z Weight Loss Study: A Randomised Trial. Gardener C et.al. JAMA. 2007;297:969-977 7. Spanish Ketogenic Mediterranean diet: a healthy cardiovascular diet for weight loss. Website: http:// www.nutritionj.com/content/7/1/30

‘It’s a great weight-loss tool but medical supervision is essential’ Dr Philip Mills, cardiologist, Constantia

‘I’ve seen it improve my patients’ health’ Dr Neville Wellington, GP, Kenilworth

‘We don’t know how it affects people long term’ Dr Adie Horak, cardiologist, Pinelands

THE LARGELY ‘ANTI’ CARDIOLOGIST Dr Adie Horak, cardiologist, Vincent Pallotti Hospital, Pinelands ‘A low-carb, high-fat diet really does work for weight loss, even though I think people who follow it look terrible! It’s particularly effective for weight-loss in people who are diabetic or carbohydrate intolerant. However, there’s very little evidence to show what it does to your health in the long run. What will we be saying about it in five years’ time? Yes, there’s a lot to be said for avoiding refined carbs, but you need to be balanced in life and do things in moderation. This way of eating includes lots of saturated fat, but there’s not one shred of evidence that it’s good for you. In fact, there’s very little evidence when it

This diet is elitist as it can work out quite expensive, whereas most diets work for weightloss if you stick to them. I’m doing the 5:2 diet, when you eat normally for five days and semifast for two. I’ve lost 3.5kg in two weeks!’

THE GP Dr Neville Wellington, GP, Kenilworth Medicross ‘Much has been said and written about lowcarbohydrate lifestyles and diets over the past few years in Cape Town. Some exuberant conversations have occurred around Prof Tim Noakes’s apparent change of heart and current advocacy of the so-called low-carbohydrate, high-fat lifestyle. While some view it as just another fad, the question stands: is there any merit in cutting down on carbs in one’s diet? For the past three years, via a Cardiff University postgraduate diploma in diabetes, I have delved quite deeply into the subject of diabetes. This has led me to understand the biological mechanisms by which high glucose levels cause cell damage in everyone (not just diabetics), and why it’s so important to control these levels. What has become apparent over the past 15 years is that high glucose levels (or hyperglycaemia) in body cells cause a destructive process called oxidative stress. While normal levels of glucose are used to produce energy in cells, hyperglycaemia, by contrast, can actually prevent the breakdown of glucose and cause build-up of some damaging byproducts. The final outcome is that these cells become inflamed. With repeated spikes of hyperglycaemia, the body’s defences become overwhelmed. Eventually, people may develop heart disease, obesity, diabetes, kidney failure, eye damage (cataracts and blindness), nerve and brain damage (Alzheimer’s), and many other problems. So where do carbs come in? And what about weight issues? We’ve known for a long time that the greatest source of glucose comes from the food we eat, viz carbohydrates. Carbs are broken down in our intestines to glucose and other simple sugars, then absorbed into the blood stream where the body tries hard to keep them at specific levels to prevent them from causing damage. Some of the glucose is converted to glycogen for shortterm energy use, but the rest is converted into triglycerides which are eventually stored as fat. The result – weight that’s hard to shift! Over time, if glucose levels remain high in the blood stream, the body keeps insulin levels high, and thislife.org.za | issue 10

medicalmoment ultimately this leads to insulin resistance and the prevention of fat breakdown in the body. Thus, high-carb intake is associated with multiple changes in the body which some call metabolic syndrome (overweight, raised glucose levels, hypertension and changes to the cholesterol profile), and others call carbohydrate intolerance. In addition, there’s the problem of processed sugar and high fructose corn syrup (HFCS), part of almost all processed foods since the 1970s. As sugar and HFCS consumption has increased, so have obesity, diabetes, heart disease and gout. Studies have now confirmed a direct correlation. The good news is that these problems can be reversed by reducing carbohydrate intake, and a number of studies show these improvements. Reducing carbs to levels of under 50g a day or less for those who are overweight or have diabetes has been shown by some researchers to achieve significant improvements. Anecdotally, I’ve seen the same remarkable improvements in my patients. In practice, this would include cutting out all sugars, sweetened drinks, fruit juices and confectionary, and keeping treats like sweets for the odd occasion. For those with medical problems like obesity, hypertension and diabetes, this also means cutting out cereals, breads, pastas and starchy veg − and limiting fruit. This may sound hard but it’s been shown that when people swap carbohydrates for fat, they feel more satiated and their overall calorie consumption actually reduces, helping to reduce weight! People without specific problems can still benefit their health by eating no more than 130g of carbs daily. Recent large studies have confirmed that increasing the intake of saturated fat doesn’t increase heart disease, and this has again been highlighted recently by correspondence in the British Medical Journal. Many patients do find an increase in their overall cholesterol figures in the first few months, but I have found that many of them return to relatively

normal levels within six months to a year. Significantly, they find a reduction in their triglycerides and an increase in their HDL cholesterol levels which are beneficial. So, while a low-carbohydrate diet may seem to be going against traditional dietary recommendations, the science behind it is actually quite strong. The biological mechanisms by which hyperglycaemic spikes cause damage is now well understood. I believe there is plenty of evidence for a low-carb, high-fat diet improving health and have seen this in my patients.’

over a year to really know how it will affect people long-term. Those who follow this diet may find their cholesterol coming down because they’ve adapted their diet to healthier eating, not necessarily because of this specific diet. However, there is a place for this diet. If it works for you and you do it under medical supervision, regularly checking that your blood results are normal, then stick to it. It’s better for some people than others.’

What does

THE DIETICIAN

Prof Noakes

Dietician Jean Mills, Claremont private practice

himself say?

‘It’s a good thing that Tim Noakes has stirred things up and made people aware they’re eating too much sugar. I’m also delighted that it highlights the undesirability of eating processed and junk food. If you’re very overweight and want to lose weight quickly, I’ve no problem if you follow a LCHF (lowcarb, high-fat) diet under medical supervision. Short-term, your weight-loss is faster, though studies suggest that after one year, weightloss is the same as on a conventional weightreduction diet. However, this way of eating is unsustainable for most people long-term, and there’s no evidence yet that it’s healthy on a long-term basis. It’s concerning to reduce fruit significantly, and red meat increases the risk of inflammation which can lead to cancer and arthritis. One main negative: carbohydrates are important for production of serotonin. Low serotonin levels can lead to depression and a low glucose level can affect your mood, concentration and energy levels. Another con is that it’s expensive and doesn’t really work for vegetarians. I also wouldn’t recommend it for cancer patients. There are too few studies of following a LCHF diet for

‘People who stay lean on a high-carb diet may not benefit in any way from this eating plan: it might even be detrimental. This diet is for others, including those who’ve tried other options and found they don’t work for them. The beauty of it is, you don’t have to listen to what I’m saying, you can just try it and you’ll see if it works for you within a week.’ For more from Tim Noakes, go to his new website, www.originaleating.org

What does thislife think? It’s definitely worth considering this way of eating for a short period if you suspect you’re carbohydrateintolerant or can’t lose weight on other diets. But for some this diet may pose a real health risk, so if you don’t do it under medical supervision, you’re crazy!

Identical Capetonian twins Jax and Jeanne Howie tried ‘opposite’ diets under medical supervision facilitated by Tim Noakes and the Sports Science Institute. The result? The ‘Noakes diet’ came up trumps for energy and weight loss compared to the traditional diet, but cholesterol-wise, many traditionalists would be alarmed by Jeanne’s raised cholesterol on Noakes. However, further tests revealed her cholesterol particles had grown bigger too, which Noakes and a number of other doctors say is a more significant measure of heart health than a traditional cholesterol figure (since large cholesterol particles are

12 thislife.org.za | issue 10

Anton Visser

Who is/are twin noakes?

less likely to ‘stick’ to an artery and cause heart disease). So it all comes down to whom you believe… 50,000 people followed the Twin Noakes blog. Go to www.jaquelineduncan.co.za and click on Categories (Twin Noakes) to read more about the twins.

WIN !

‘The Real

Mea

l Revoluti w w w.quiv on’ ertreepu blication s .c om Simply S

M your chan S ME AL to 33808 c fo Competiti e to win 1 of 3 cop r on e nds 3 ies. 1 August 2014

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foodielife

Bacon fat cherry tomatoes with bocconcini (and it’s low carb!) So this is diet food? Yes, if you’re on a low-carb, high-fat diet. But diet or no diet, give it a whirl because it’s ridiculously delicious and quick to throw together (if you try out this way of eating for longer, read the preceding article and be sure to get medical supervision!)

WHAT YOU NEED (serves 4) 250g streaky bacon, cut into 4cm strips • 20g bacon fat or butter 1 cup large cherry tomatoes • 250g balls fresh bocconcini mozzarella balls (or break a big piece of buffalo mozzarella into chunks) • 1 handful fresh basil leaves

Craig Fraser/www.quivertreeimages.com

WHAT YOU DO Add the bacon and fat to a cold pan, then place on the heat. Keep the heat on medium-low for about 5 minutes to let the fat and juice out of the bacon. Once the bacon’s crispy, crank the heat up to full, add the tomatoes and stir continuously. When tomatoes and bacon are looking brown on the edges, throw the cheese balls and basil in, toss for about 10 seconds and serve immediately NB: if you eat this immediately, you’ll get the sensation of a ball of cheese actually melting in your mouth. If you’re fresh out of bocconcini, any cheese will do. Brie and Camembert are superb with tomatoes and melt brilliantly

from ‘The Real Meal Revolution’ by Tim Noakes and others thislife.org.za | issue 10

creativemoment

Spirit Tonya Hester 2014

of hope

came out of business school but couldn’t get a job. I was struggling and sat brainstorming with my boys and my wife to see what we could do to get an income. I’m passionate about clothing and fashion, I like to dress smartly myself, and I thought, why don’t I start a brand? My wife came up with the name Born Free Since 1994, which of course is the year South Africa became a nonracial democracy. To me, this was a gentle reminder of how fortunate today’s South African youth are to have so many possibilities in life. I really hope it motivates them to use their potential.

My sons gave me guidance as to what styles to use – upmarket street fashion, the Justin Bieber look. I wanted a heritage brand with everything that’s good in South Africa behind it. The patent for the name came through just after Christmas – a late present!

14 thislife.org.za | issue 10

Andile Sigasana, 47, was born in Gugulethu, the son of a librarian and switchboard operator. He attended high schools in Nyanga and Langa but, dissatisfied with his Matric results, registered at a different school in Khayelitsha and obtained a university pass. This led to a degree in personnel management at the Peninsula University of Technology, followed by a year’s course at UCT’s Graduate School of Business. Andile is married to Lulama, a nutrition manager for a Cape Town NGO, and has three sons. Here, he talks of his hopes and plans for his new clothing line, borne out of unemployment with the help of his family. So far I’ve designed dresses, hoodies, t-shirts, caps and vests. I get them made up in Maitland. I was fortunate to be selected by the Cape Craft Design Institute to sell them at the Langa Summer Market, which was organised by the City of Cape Town. The tourists loved the brand name and I sold double what the other vendors sold. I pray about this work all the time, and I so hope it’s going to grow into something worthwhile.’

Care to view Andile’s range? Go to www.bornfreesa.com or contact him on andile.sigasana@gmail.com, info@bornfreesa.com or 076 700 5131

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thislife.org.za | issue 10

mylife

wake up throughout the night as my son Jonathan comes to me at anytime. He signs to me in the dark on my tummy, asking for water or needing the bathroom.

We all get up at around 6.30am and Chris cooks porridge, which we all eat together at the table. I met Christopher through my parents, who went to deaf school with his mother. His own deafness is between moderate and profound. I started looking after his children, Jessica and James, when Jessica was 7. Both of them are deaf, and James is autistic as well.

June Bothma, 48, has lived in Claremont, Cape Town, all her life. Deaf since the age of six months, she was schooled in Hout Bay before working for 28 years in the clothing industry. She now teaches sign language at the University of Cape Town and elsewhere. She is married to Christopher, a carpenter, and they have three children: Jessica (19), James (15) and Jonathan (4). Here, she talks about life as she experiences it.

Life in the

When I met him in 2002, Christopher was doing freelance contracts as an installer for cold rooms. He was then offered work in Johannesburg for nine months. I looked after Jessica, who was seven, while he was away: we both thought it wouldn’t be good to unsettle her for a temporary job. Many people, including most mothers, told me I was crazy to take Jessica. I explained to them that I just felt God had dropped her into my arms, into my care. I still remember what she was like when she came into my life. She sat in the front of the car to be next to her daddy. I was sitting in the back seat, and she kept on looking at me, wanting to know who I was. I explained that I was daddy’s friend and that she and I were the same, being deaf. Then she said that she liked me, and that I was her friend. A few days later, she dropped a letter in my postbox asking me to be her mommy. I have been her mom since then. Until then, she’d been allowed to do anything she liked, and she lacked manners. So I had to teach her manners and to be considerate of people. When some teachers at school warned her class that they were strict, Jessica would boast that she already had a strict mother! Today she’s a totally different person from that young girl I met.

deaf lane 16 thislife.org.za | issue 10

Tonya Hester 2014

mylife

June Bothma: ‘Being deaf doesn’t bother me’ thislife.org.za | issue 10

mylife

I trained and helped Jessica and James as much as I could. Now they’re teenagers, and James has grown a lot and people tell me how much he’s improved. Seeing the fruits of my hard work is so rewarding. Some people would treat an autistic child differently – and it’s the same with a deaf child – but I treat them like normal children. I feel that’s how you can help them grow. We persisted in encouraging Jessica to study hard for a good Matric result so that she could get into UCT, because it now has interpreters: in our time, it wasn’t easy for deaf people to study at university. Jessica is studying environmental and geographical science, and Spanish. I try not to be less strict with Jonathan but it’s hard because I often feel worn out, having spent most of my energy on the first two children!

weren’t allowed to use our hands for sign language like our parents did.

On a typical day, I take James and Jonathan to school, buy groceries and do some tidying up at home. Then I work on my PowerPoint slides for the sign language course I teach, before fetching Jonathan at 12. The rest of the day is for the family – nothing for myself, as with most mothers! I make a gluten-free lunch as the whole family has an intolerance to gluten and dairy: something like scrambled eggs and roasted veg, or I use up last night’s leftovers.

When I was growing up, I wanted to be a teacher. In the 1980s, deaf people weren’t allowed to be teachers, and I was very disappointed. There were no great opportunities for the deaf, such as interpreting in universities or colleges. So for 28 years I worked in six different clothing companies, which I enjoyed. I did patternmaking, and from there I was promoted to design room manageress and pattern technologist. I loved my jobs, even though the deadlines were stressful. Each time I moved on, my bosses fought with me and begged me to stay. However, while I loved the work, I knew it wasn’t my full passion.

passion

Today, I teach sign language once a week at the University of Cape Town and at Christ Church, Kenilworth, and also at my home. My friends say I’m a different person now I’m

I hear nothing, not even a bit of sound. I don’t know what it’s like to hear something. I could hear until I was six months old, then I got double pneumonia. An injection saved my life but made me deaf. It doesn’t bother me: both my parents and my two sisters are deaf. I was 18 months old when I was first enrolled at Dominican Grimley School for the Deaf in Hout Bay, where we all learnt to lip-read and

I was put in boarding at the age of two so our parents wouldn’t influence us with their signing: the school’s belief was that if the deaf child learnt to sign first, he or she might not want to learn to speak. I only went home at weekends. When I think about it now, I can’t believe I was sent there so young, I’d never send Jonathan to boarding school that young! However, when I turned 12, I decided to do what my parents do and sign instead. To me this made sense, as most deaf people can only pick out 30% of what’s being said by lip-reading. I find sign language much more relaxing and accurate.

June’s husband Christopher with Jessica, Jonathan and James 18 thislife.org.za | issue 10

teaching. I know it’s because it’s my passion to help people communicate with deaf people. Sign language doesn’t just help a deaf person communicate with other deaf people, but also with hearing people through the eye contact. I’ve seen so many people who don’t sign being shy to look into a deaf person’s face. I’ve been teaching at UCT since July 2011, and love every bit of it. I asked the students to write an essay on how they feel about having a deaf lecturer, and it was good to read their essays. Some had been very worried about how they’d understand me, and how they’d pass their exams if they couldn’t understand me, but by the end they said they were happy to have me. This Friday I’ll be teaching 69 students and I’m very excited! My main challenge is fitting into the hearing world. Communicating with hearing individuals depends entirely on the individual. Some people are natural and outgoing and easy to communicate with, others shy away or are difficult to lip-read. What I find most disappointing is when mothers come to fetch their kids at school, and while waiting, the mothers chat about stuff. Standing there, I feel lost. I try to lip-read because I want to know what they’re talking about. There are times I wish I could hear, just to be able to catch tips and advice on child rearing. Sometimes they realise I’m there and give me some hints of what their conversations are about. But often they look so busy and I don’t feel like going up to them because I don’t want to intrude.

disappointing I feel the need to create more awareness and understanding of deaf people. I’ve been asked things like: can I drive a car, or remember what’s being said to me? I was once cancelled on a Contiki tour in Europe because the manager found out I was deaf. When I challenged it, she explained that a deaf New Zealander had been on the tour previously and had misbehaved. I told her that not all deaf people are the same, just like hearing people. The great thing is that the very next day she put me back on the tour! Recently, a girl from a local school asked me to give a talk at their school and it was lovely to be able to share my life and explain the difference between oral and sign language. Afterwards the girls asked questions and I was happy to answer them all.

mylife

was thrilled and overjoyed, I was anxious! I was unsure what the family’s responses would be because of my age. I browsed the internet to read about older mothers, and found comments from people saying women who became pregnant at this age were being very irresponsible, etc. So it was a surprise when my family was positive and very supportive, in spite of my age! We have been blessed by this miracle. Life is quite tiring but Jonathan and the family keep me going.

wonderful

June and the son she thought she’d never have I’ve never been angry because I can’t hear. The evangelist Billy Graham was here many years ago, when I had just finished Matric. I went with some deaf friends to Green Point Stadium to meet him, and we actually saw people who could get up from their wheelchairs and walk after he prayed for them. Then we deaf people went forward. I remember it so well: Billy put his hands on both of my ears and spoke very clearly so that I could lip-read him. He said he’d come back to me because he couldn’t hear clearly from God about me. A few minutes later, he came back, and again put his hands on my ears and shook them, and said, ‘God isn’t finished with you, He’s using you.’ I know he was right because I love people. I believe God’s using me to help hearing people communicate with the deaf. When I advertise the sign language course in the community, people email me with problems concerning their deaf children, asking me for advice, and others ask for help, such as work opportunities for their deaf children. So I feel I’ve been connecting people.

baby People used to ask me if I wanted my own child, and it hadn’t entered my mind. I think I expected to be past the age of having a baby. I felt blessed having Chris’s children, who felt like my own. I was happy and these two were already a handful for me! Also, I was 44! In April 2009, I realised something wasn’t right with me, but ignored it till I realised the timing of things. I did a home pregnancy test, which was positive. But while my husband

Jonathan has perfect hearing. When I was pregnant, we prayed a lot about it, but to me it didn’t matter whether he was deaf or hearing – I was much more worried about my baby’s general health! However, Chris was relieved to know he could hear, because he felt he’d be spared a lot of the hurt and teasing that happened to him when he went to a mainstream school for a while. However, we basically just trust. If Jonathan becomes deaf, we’ll accept it. Chris was retrenched in February 2010, and everything was wrong. We explained the whole situation to our children so they could understand what was happening around them and lower their expectations. We also prayed together as a family. If you focus on God in times of trouble, it’s wonderful. And God provided, and we never lacked food and necessities. Christopher wanted me to stay at home for Jonathan and James, and he has been able to provide for the family. It wasn’t easy, but we made it through difficult times. I believe in God because I’ve seen His

wonderful works in me and my family. People have tried to persuade me to have cochlear implants or wear hearing aids but I don’t feel the need. I believe that God has ‘wonderfully’ made me, and is pleased with what He’s made. Why should I modify myself if He’s pleased with me? We get into bed late! We aim for 10pm but this doesn’t really happen because Chris works for himself, so he has to do some sketches or invoices, etc. I work on my slides again, which I change according to the feedback I get from my students, and because I like to keep updating the sketches. Sometimes Chris and I race to bed and the last one has to switch the light off. Silly! My last thought at night is: ‘I hope Jonathan sleeps through the night!’

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20 thislife.org.za | issue 10

personallife

How to have... really great

relationships

An adventurer who sailed with his wife and five children across the Atlantic,

Sergio Milandri is now an explorer of the risks of relationship. Originally an engineer, he went on to work at the Institute for Christian Spirituality with Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Tutu, and now runs courses at Harmony Addiction Clinic. Sergio and his wife Elizabeth also run the Sans Pareil Retreat Centre in Hout Bay. Here, he pinpoints some crucial points about relationships… Why is relating so important? We’re the sum total of all our relationships. We don’t exist outside the relationship we have with ourselves, others and God. Why is there so much difficulty around relationships? We don’t get taught how to relate properly, it’s just assumed that we’ll be able to do it. Crazy, really, as our essential purpose is to learn to relate, to love, and to become people of character, substance and beauty. Most of us have learnt to relate in a lopsided way, comparing ourselves with and competing against others.

‘Most of us relate in a lopsided way’ Many people are scared to be ‘real’ with other people – they’ve been hurt before. How do you manage that? We all encounter fear and pain, but we can use pain to become more sensitive to ourselves and each other. We go to a doctor when we have physical pain, yet emotional pain we often deny and avoid. Relational or emotional pain is a distress call and needs attention. I counselled a woman, an elder daughter, whose mother had died eight months earlier. She hadn’t grieved as she felt she had to look after those around her. When I met her, she’d become dysfunctional. She began a belated grieving process, and went through a significant transformation as a result. When we don’t admit pain, we also don’t allow growth: we tend to blame others for our pain and become angry or

depressed. Remember that feelings are like the gauges in a car – they show you what’s really going on. Pay attention to them. For example, we may feel uncomfortable in someone’s company and assume we don’t like them, instead of realising we’ve a deeper, repeated discomfort with people. This may stem from feeling inadequate: the real cause for this is low self-esteem and deep disbelief in being loved, especially by God. Release your pain by acknowledging it. Then do something about it. Grieve and mourn the loss, but don’t wallow in it! People are often most deeply hurt through relationship, yet ironically, the deepest healing comes through relationship. I counselled a son who was angry with his father because he’d believed his mother’s stories about him. Years later, son and father were able to talk and reconcile and develop a deep bond in place of the judgement. Relationships are the context for healing and restoration, and for the joy in our lives.

‘Feelings show us what’s really going on’ How do we begin to relate really well to people? Get to know the real you. Read, study, take a course in personal formation, speak to a counsellor. We tend to misunderstand love, to believe that thinking about ourselves is selfish, but when we accept and love ourselves, we can relax, forget ourselves and think about others. Understand that love is essentially a

balance of being and doing: be emotionally available, and act to affirm the other person. Last important points? Don’t entrust yourself to just anyone, this can get you hurt repeatedly. Jesus was emotionally mature and could sense who he could trust, and who he should rather not. Get to know yourself first and you’ll start to discern who you can trust.

‘When we accept ourselves, we can relax and think about others’ As you become aware of who you really are, not the person you are trying to be to please others or society, become aware of who others really are, too. It’s a risk to accept and love ourselves and others just as we/they are (which is what God does), but it’s worth it. CELEBRATE YOUR LIFE! 5 tips for good relationships 1. Learn to be present. Don’t let distractions and concerns reduce your attention when you’re with someone 2. Take the risk of including your emotions in your interactions 3. Avoid drifting into the past or the future in your focus 4. Practise acceptance, avoid judgement or criticism 5. Listen well. Besides words, our tone and body language speak volumes

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thislife.org.za | issue 10 21

teenlife

Word

power

THERE’S A BIT OF A BUZZ in Cape Town. Jono van Deventer

Nearly 10,000 teens have signed up for ‘The WordSpace’: free daily messages coming out of a dynamic Cape Town set-up called The Youth Hub*. They’re beamed to cells and iPods in the city and beyond (very beyond, in fact − as far afield as Trinidad, the US and Nepal). We asked three local teens what they get out of them…

Duncan Hobbs 19, gap year intern, Fernwood ‘I like this app because instead of condemning youth for being glued to their phones, it accepts that technology’s become part of our lives. When I was still at school, I often struggled to find a reason to get up in the morning. Life just felt average a lot of the time. In those moments, getting a WordSpace message really changed the way my day went. It didn’t even matter what it was most of the time – the reminder that I was living for something greater, that God had something planned for me that very day, made a huge difference to how I approached my school life. I wouldn’t say I always managed to escape the monotony, and often I’d fall back into my uninspired ways. But even in those times, WordSpace helped me keep my chin up and my eyes on God. I think WordSpace is great for teenagers starting to engage with faith issues. The messages are honest and give a real image of what it means to be a Christian: that it’s ok even when you struggle, fail and mess up. I like the fact that it’s interactive as well, with people being able to reply to messages. I think it can encourage anyone seeking God and a meaningful faith, but for it to really come alive you also need to have people who can talk through the stuff in the messages with you − my youth group and school Christian Union really helped me there.’

HOW CAN I GET WORDSPACE?

Download The WordSpace app from the Google Play store

Facebook: ‘like’ our page: TheWordSpace

Google Talk: add thewordspace@gmail.com WhatsApp: add +27 72 629 5809, then message the word ‘subscribe’ Web: www.thewordspace.mobi * The Youth Hub (www.theyouthhub.net) is linked to St John’s Parish Wynberg, Cape Town (www.stjohns.org.za)

22 thislife.org.za | issue 10

teenlife

Rebekah Frieslaar

19, engineering student, UCT

‘I read The WordSpace message on WhatsApp as soon as I hear my phone beep because I’m curious! The messages are short and sweet, I don’t have to take forever reading them, and they’re available whenever I need to access them. Best of all, they often strike a chord with the situations I go through as I grow up. Many are practical. Even though I’m sometimes busy or distracted when reading them, from time to time they have a wonderful effect. During my Matric finals, they encouraged me to be calm, study and trust God. This little reminder to offer my concerns to God worked wonders. WordSpace has also put together a hardcopy book with daily messages. It’s vibrant, with great photos that add to the richness of the words. I may not always agree with the opinions voiced on The WordSpace, but every word holds some truth. All in all, I’d say that using it has allowed me to explore what I believe in, and this has actually strengthened my faith. It’s also given me a sense of community with the thousands of people who use it, some of whom interact with each other online. At some times in my life it has seemed that no one shares my beliefs, but seeing the great number of WordSpace followers has changed my view and shown me a better way to live. They’re a spark of daily hope, constantly reminding me that God’s with me, and that I have His strength and guidance.’

Antonio Druchen

16, schoolboy, Retreat

‘I receive a daily quote or a short story from the Bible via BBM and WhatsApp, and read it as soon as I wake up or on my way to school. Sometimes the message has nothing to do with the Bible and is a story relating to teenage life. I like it keeping me on track in my daily faith-walk. Getting the messages on a mobile device instead of a heavy book that’s hard to lug about means I can access them whenever I want to. You don’t need to be a Christian to use this forum as it opens up a space for young people to interact with others. It’s good to realise others are experiencing the same issues as me. The messages are also easy to understand and not too long!’

The WordSpace sends stuff to teens every day but they also talk back! Here are a couple of messages The WordSpace responded to personally (obviously they NEVER reveal names!)...

‘Hey... I’m probably stupid to ask you this question but, umm, why do I always get used by boys and why do they always hurt me?’ ‘Now the other day I was contemplating suicide, wanting to end my life because of people who hurt me. You could call me a sucker for punishment where people are concerned, but there was something that said, ‘Wait till tomorrow for a reason not to do it’. So I decided ok, I’ll wait. The following morning, I got a very encouraging message from The WordSpace about why we shouldn’t give up, and also about the love of God, so that just moved me and gave me a wake-up call.’

Mxit: add thewordspace

Telegram: add +27 72 629 5809, then message the word ‘subscribe’

Twitter: follow @wordspacedevos

BBM: add 26B32C97

Instagram: follow wordspacelife

Email: send an email to subscribe@thewordspace.mobi with ‘subscribe’ in the subject line

thislife.org.za | issue 10

coolstories

I destroyed my own

eye Surgeon Mark Boustred, 58, was born in Johannesburg and educated at St Andrew’s, Grahamstown, and Wits University. His career in general and plastic surgery has encompassed a mission hospital in Lesotho, Groote Schuur Hospital in Cape Town, America’s world-renowned Emory University and a professorship at Pennsylvania State University. He settled a few years ago into private practice in Colorado, where his passion is for transforming children’s deformities. He is married to Sarah, a South African midwife, and they have a daughter and three sons. Here, he tells how he coped with losing his left eye.

24 thislife.org.za | issue 10

coolstories WIN !

Dinne Harbour r for two at Hou s e R estauran V & A Wa t terfront Simply SM S H A R BO 33808 for UR to your chan ce to win. Competiti on e nds 31 Augus t 2014

’ve always had a passion for things that fly and used to make my own radio-controlled planes from scratch as a teen. When the kids were older, I got back into it: it was fun to do together, and a great challenge for my ageing brain. You’ve got to be a good repair man as they often crash, and one Saturday evening in January 2012, I was at home, changing a bunch of parts on my helicopter’s rotor head. Unbeknown to me, the new blade holders were faulty. A few seconds after I powered up the helicopter, one of them fragmented and a blade flew off into my left eye, smashing my glasses and rupturing my eyeball. I knew straightaway something really bad had happened. I could feel the jelly coming out of my eyeball. My youngest son was first on the scene and I said, ‘Luke, I’m afraid I’ve screwed up my eye and messed up life for us.’ The thought that I might never be able to operate again, or support my family, was foremost in my mind. For an immigrant to America with no safety net, this was a pretty dreadful prospect.

horrified Sarah drove me in to one of the hospitals where I work, with me clutching a gauze over my eye. I remember the ophthalmologist on call being horrified at having to care for a colleague with such a terrible eye injury. He left an urgent cry for help with the retinal specialist, who had just flown in from a holiday in Hawaii and was standing in the baggage hall. He came straight to the hospital in his flipflops. My eyeball was ruptured, lens and iris gone, cornea shredded and retina totally detached. Thus my journey began. Eight months and four operations later I could perceive only light, and not gentle light but a flashing glare: I couldn’t go outside without sunglasses. Eventually, we decided the eye was more of a liability than an asset, and in August 2013 I had the old eye removed and replaced with a prosthetic one. On the way home, Sarah managed to lift the mood: ‘Now I can finally go on a blind date!’ she said. What a ‘cornea’ joke! We live in a smallish community and word spread fast that I was finished as a surgeon. But I felt God hadn’t finished with me yet. I built a radio-controlled plane as a kind of occupational therapy and, two months after the injury, resolved with much fear and trepidation to try working and operating again. I drove to surgeries in tears, saying, ‘God, I’m

not sure I can do this!’ How could I be up to giving my patients the best care with one eye? But I felt God saying, ‘Don’t worry, I’m with you, it’s going to work out.’

nuisance For the first two weeks, one of my partners was with me whenever I operated. I told my patients, many of whom were in the middle of multi-stage reconstructions, not to feel they had to stick with me, but in fact so many patients stayed that I operated for eight hours on my first day. After the first day, one partner said, ‘You don’t need me, Mark’ and on the second day, my more perfectionistic partner said, ‘I don’t know how you’re doing this’! He has a faith like mine, so he understood when I said, ‘You know where my strength comes from.’ Physically, my life is different. I see a bamboo kaleidoscope pattern when I’m tired, which is a bit of a nuisance, but there’s lots I can still do. Driving is okay: I just have to set my mirrors well and it’s a bit more tiring. Hiking was initially hard because I don’t have depth perception any more, but somehow that’s improved: I think I’ve started taking in other cues. I love to ski and still do so: I just have to be careful of people coming in from my left. That includes Sarah, who still hasn’t forgiven me for ‘playing dead’ when we collided on the slopes not long ago! My colleagues and patients don’t see the difference between the quality of my new and old work, but I do. I have to concentrate a lot more and have a less hectic schedule as I tire easily. Nonetheless, I really believe God has enabled me. I don’t deserve this from Him, but he’s done it anyway. I don’t hide the fact that I’ve only one eye, but my practice is busier than ever.

kindness I don’t blame God for the injury: I don’t believe He brings evil upon us. I think we live in a world where stuff happens, sometimes through our own foolishness, and sometimes it’s just random. I’ve seen a lot of my patients get stuck on ‘Why me?’ so I try not to look back, but ahead. This is what I have to work with and I’m going to do everything I can. I do think that when Jesus is in your life, he can change you to cope better than you could on your own. There’s a supernatural power that’s present, accompanied by his grace and his love and his kindness. An amazing thing, which still chokes me up, is that wait-

ing at the hospital door when I arrived after destroying my eye was a former patient of mine, a nurse on whom I’d done reconstructive surgery after breast cancer. She was waiting with a wheelchair and she greeted me and said to Sarah, ‘We love this man, we’re going to take great care of him,’ and it was as if God had sent an angel for me. After the surgery I woke up and had a total peace about everything, it felt as if Jesus had me in his arms, and so it’s been ever since. I think I’ve been at peace with this whole thing since it happened. Sarah prayed and had a feeling I was going to get my sight back, but I didn’t. However, the amazing thing, and the key to my story, is that I feel I’m truly better now than before it happened. It’s tough times that really grow us. I’d been trying to follow Jesus for the last 40 years, but it feels like booster rockets have been put on my spiritual growth trajectory. Suddenly I have to be more dependent on God, and a bunch of my rough edges have been knocked off.

fame I feel I’m a better person, husband, father and doctor, and nicer to be around. I think I’m more patient, relaxed, empathetic and wise. Losing a hand or an eye is possibly the worst thing that could happen to a surgeon, yet I’m less worried about the future, as I’ve experienced how God has shown up and enabled us – and I know our lives are in His capable hands, whatever the future holds. Our family has grown, having to deal with the whole scenario, and our kids have learned valuable life lessons. It’s almost been worth it for all the growth I’ve experienced, and the closeness of Jesus through it all. What compares to that? You can chase after ‘toys’, fame and affirmation, but ultimately where do these things get you? You can’t take them with you! The bad things we run from can be the very things that grow us in the way that an easy life never does. I feel that if my experience can help others going through tough times, it’ll be worth it. Corrie ten Boom, a Dutch lady imprisoned in a concentration camp for sheltering Jewish people during the Nazi regime, said our lives are like a tapestry. When we look at the underside we just see a tangle, but on the other side is the beautiful image that God is weaving in our lives. I think my life is a little like that.’

this page proudly sponsored by the Wilson family, USA: Mike & Barbara Wilson of Buffalo, Helen Wilson of Detroit and Liz Wilson of Oklahoma City

thislife.org.za | issue 10 25

infomoment

lifesupport

Looking for something new? Maybe there’s something here for YOU…

parenting

personal

prayer

helping others

BABIES AND TODDLERS Share the experience of motherhood at the Moms Connect baby and toddler group, with good coffee and new friends in a supportive environment. Where? Christ Church, Richmond Road, Kenilworth. Thursdays 10 to 11:30am during term time. Babies and toddlers obviously welcome too! Contact Jill Mathew: 072 329 0281 or claire@cck.org.za

WANT MORE CLARITY on where your responsibilities lie – and where they don’t? Looking to live more lightly, without comparing yourself to others? The Boundaries Course has been run for 10 years, with great results. Where? Christ Church, Richmond Road, Kenilworth. Contact Claire: 021 797 6332 or claire@cck.org.za

PRAYER CLINIC Anyone with physical, emotional or spiritual needs is welcome to be prayed for by experienced prayer counsellors from local Cape Town churches. Patients are usually referred by doctors, but you can self-refer by calling reception on 021 683 5867. No charge. Thursdays from 4 to 5.30pm at Medicross, 67 Rosmead Avenue, Kenilworth (not public holidays)

HABITAT FOR HUMANITY Help build a house for those without! Click on www.habitat.org.za

24 HOUR PRAYER LINE Call Radio CCFm’s Prayer Friend Line at any hour of the day or night. It’s manned by people used to dealing with a wide variety of situations. Call 021 788 3340 or send your prayer request online: www.ccfm.org.za

ALPHA is a fun, non-threatening course which examines the claims of Christianity, aimed particularly at anyone who doesn’t attend church or who seeks to ‘brush up’ on their spirituality. Go to www.alpha.co.za for courses around the country. Alternatively, contact the following churches for details of their next course: Christ Church, Kenilworth (021 797 6332), Church of the Holy Spirit, Kirstenhof (021 701 3201), Emmanuel Church, Wynberg (021 797 0179), St John’s Church, Wynberg (021 797 8968), St Philip’s Church, Kenwyn (021 762 8772) or Meadowridge Baptist Church (021 712 1218)

TEENAGERS Join other parents at the Parenting Teens course to make the most of parenting teenagers! Where? Christ Church, Richmond Road, Kenilworth. Contact Claire: 021 797 6332 or claire@cck.org.za

GRIEFSHARE A recovery support group which offers help and healing for the pain you go through when someone you love dies. Run by St John’s Parish, Wynberg. Contact Klaus and Barbara: klaush@global.co.za or 021 671 4732 / 082 453 9392. Also run by Meadowridge Baptist Church. Call Sue: 021 712 1218

marriage

junior youth group

MARRIAGE PREPARATION A weekly course open to all couples, whether church members or not! Run three times a year. Where? Christ Church, Richmond Road, Kenilworth. Contact Claire: claire@ cck.org.za or 021 797 6332. Also run by Meadowridge Baptist Church. Contact Sue: 021 712 1218

UTX @ Emmanuel Church, Wynberg. Call Lisa: 021 762 1613

ALREADY MARRIED Fancy a weekly date with your spouse – to talk privately together, be served a delicious meal and have some input to encourage and challenge you in your relationship? Try The Marriage Course, recommended for all marriages, whether blooming or a little parched. No need to belong to any church. Where? Christ Church, Richmond Road, Kenilworth. Contact Claire: 021 797 6332 or claire@cck.org.za

divorce BEYOND DIVORCE A series of workshops aimed at anyone who has experienced the devastation of separation or divorce. Where? Christ Church, Richmond Road, Kenilworth. Contact Claire: 021 797 6332 or claire@cck.org.za

26 thislife.org.za | issue 10

Oasis @ Christ Church, Richmond Road, Kenilworth. Call Bushy: 074 418 5865 Kick @ Claremont Methodist Church. Call 021 674 2596 MBC Kids @ Meadowridge Baptist Church. Call 021 712 1218

teen youth groups Ambies @ Christ Church, Kenilworth. Call Jared: 021 797 6332 Union @ Meadowridge Baptist Church. Email Lauren: lauren@mbc.org.za Amplify @ Claremont Methodist Church. Call 021 674 2596 Youth @ Church of the Holy Spirit, Kirstenhof. Call Andrew: 082 773 6405 H4K @ Emmanuel Church, Wynberg. Call Nicky: 021 761 6837 G-Cubed and Sunday Nite Live @ St John’s Church, Wynberg (next to Springfield Convent). Contact Keegan: 072 808 2063, 021 797 8968 or keegan@stjohns.org.za

HEALING PRAYER Prayer for physical or emotional challenges, every Tuesday from 5 to 6.30pm at Christ Church, Kenilworth. Call Alison: 021 797 6332

men, art, signing MEN’S FELLOWSHIP GROUP @ Church of the Holy Spirit, Kirstenhof, Wednesdays from 10am to 12pm. Call Rory: 021 701 3201 ART CAFÉ Love art and coffee? Join the Art Café and paint/draw/ crochet/whatever in the company of other creatives. Alternate Wednesday mornings and evenings @ Church of the Holy Spirit, Kirstenhof. All welcome and feel free to bring your creative friends too! Call 021 701 3201 for more details INTERESTED IN LEARNING SIGN LANGUAGE? It’s fun! Email June at junesignlang@gmail.com

cancer support Living with cancer? Contact Cancer Buddies, a support project that brings together cancer patients with a similar profile, disease and treatment protocol. Call 0800 033 337 (tollfree) or go to www. cancerbuddies.org.za to request support online

HUNGRY SCHOOLCHILDREN For a weekly contribution of R120 and 90 minutes of your time, you can feed 60 hungry school children! Contact Claire: claire@zevdevco.co.za

spirituality

SEEKING A CHURCH THAT SUITS YOU? Give St John’s Parish a go. It’s a lively group of six Anglican churches in the southern suburbs. To find out more, call Yvonne on 021 797 6332 or Judy on 021 701 3201 ARE YOU WONDERING ABOUT JESUS THE JEWISH MESSIAH? For 200 years, the Church’s Ministry among the Jewish People (CMJ) has been investing in the spiritual rebirth of the Jewish People as well as presenting Jesus the Jew to Christians. To find out more, go to www.cmj-sa.org or contact John Atkinson (john@cmj-sa.org), Edith Sher (edith@cmj-sa.org) or Sue (admin@cmj-sa.org)

surveymoment

thislife magazine

values your opinion

thislife

would like you to share your views with us and help us shape our future editorial direction – as well as give us insight into who you are

WIN!

Fill in our quick survey for the chance to win a meal worth R2,000 at a restaurant of your choice – how about pizza for 20 friends or a fabulous meal for 4?

You’ll simply be asked a few quick questions about the magazine and your lifestyle. We promise it won’t take long and we hope the changes that result will make it worth your while!

It’s so easy to tell us what you think! Simply go to www.surveymonkey.com/s/thislifereadersurvey

If you don’t have internet access, please call/SMS 074 672 7369 and we’ll contact you with other options thislife.org.za | issue 10

marketplace your guide to local services (take the las out of looking)

STYLE/LEISURE

Want to advertise your business card in our next issue? Mail us on sales.thislifemag@gmail.com or call Rebecca on 072 802 7022 or Tonya on 074 672 7369 28 thislife.org.za | issue 10

marketplace your guide to local services (take the las out of looking)

HEALTH/LIVING

Want to advertise your business card in our next issue? Mail us on sales.thislifemag@gmail.com or call Rebecca on 072 802 7022 or Tonya on 074 672 7369 thislife.org.za | issue 10

marketplace your guide to local services (take the las out of looking)

SERVICES Business Card.fh11 9/3/11 09:36 Page 1 C

CY CMY

Composite

Seller

Â¨ Demnitz Jorg

Supplier of Fine Silver Ingots / Bars / Coins 082 641 6341 jorg@kingsley.co.za

Want to advertise your business card in our next issue? Mail us on sales.thislifemag@gmail.com or call Tonya on 074 672 7369 or Rebecca on 072 802 7022 30 thislife.org.za | issue 10

marketplace your guide to local services (take the las out of looking)

HOUSE/HOME

WRITING/FINANCE

Maybe we’re biased, but we assume that if our advertisers choose our mag, they must be good. However, if you don’t receive total satisfaction, please let the advertiser know and seek any recourse from them. Even though there is little we can do about your particular grievance, please do let us know of your complaint too – for our future reference

thislife.org.za | issue 10

retailtherapy

made in

LOOKING FOR FAB GIFTS? Try these proudly South African beauties…

See this green scar f on our front cover model !

1 7

1. Tea towel by YDA Design, R130 Get it from Kalk Bay Modern, Kalk Bay, 021 788 6571 2. Brooches, R45 Get them from Itchy and Stitchy, Noordhoek Farm Village, 021 789 1220 3. Crocheted circle scarves, from R170 Get them from Hotchkiss Creations, www.hotchkisscreations.com or 084 908 1800 4. Candle shade, R155 Get it from Itchy and Stitchy, Noordhoek Farm Village, 021 789 1220 5. Teen boy 100% cotton top, R250 Get it from www.continentafrica.org or 071 217 7072 6. Charger and cable bag, R98 Get it from House and Interiors, Cavendish Square, Claremont, 021 683 1468 7. Rooibos shaving cream with brush, R80 Get them from Perfect Gifts, 083 506 3285 or www.perfectgifts.co.za 8. Hand-embroidered wall hoops, from R195 Get them from Itchy and Stitchy, Noordhoek Farm Village, 021 789 1220 9. Baby ‘starwrap’ easyfit coats, from R150 Get them from Bubs Starwraps, Facebook: Bubs Starwraps or 084 721 2897 10. Handprinted cotton stretchy bowl covers, from R45 Get them from www.spazastore.co.za or 083 273 8334 32 thislife.org.za | issue 10

5 Printed by CTP Printers, Cape Town