Sharingthe ‘mental

SHARING THE ‘mental’ LOAD AT HOME

In today’s world when parents are frequently both at work, household chores can build up and all the thinking, planningand organisingneeded to manage workand family life schedules often falls to one person, and that’s frequently mum even though her business workload may be as heavy as her partner’s.

Because that burden tends to fall disproportionately on the shoulders ofwomen in many relationships, it can become an unbearable mental load leadingto stressful relationships all round. Sharingthat load can help avoid feelings offrustration, resentment and depression

THE BURDEN OF REMEMBERING:

Carryingthe mental load involves more than doingchores. It also includes the responsibility of rememberingand delegating the various tasks that need to be completed.

Dependingon the household, this can range from planningmeals and schedulingappointments to checkingifchildren need new clothes, buyingbirthday gifts for family or children’s friends and that you’re not about to run out of toilet paper!

Ifthe mental load isn’t shared equally in a relationship, one person takes on the additional responsibility ofremindinghis or her (in most cases, her), partner to complete chores or keep tabs on the state ofthe household.

HOW TO SHARE THE LOAD:

One way to determine how much ofthe mental load each partner carries is for both to write up a list ofthe tasks each completes during the day and throughout the week. This list should include all planning, delegatingand organising.

When done compare the lists. This exercise can help underscore what tasks are required to manage a household and reveal whether one person is takingon more responsibility than the other.

It’s not always easy to broach the subject ofmental load in a relationship, but ifboth partners are open-minded and willingto make changes, the burden of rememberingcan be distributed more equally.

And, remember, takingtime out for one’s individual needs –perhaps a regular massage, an hour of‘me time’ reading, or indulginga sport –can also help partners face the role oftacklingtheir fair share at home.

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