Fatherhood June 11, 2019 by Times Colonist

FATHERHOOD A Celebration of Dads & Father’s Day

Tried-and-true ways to raise a confident kid Father’s Day gifts for the modern dad Changing parenting roles for dads Make his first Father’s Day special Retail industry helped shape Father’s Day 3 fun ways families can get fit together

June 11, 2019 A SPECIAL SUPPLEMENT TO THE

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it’s all right for kids to fail and feel sad or angry. Success is learned by overcoming obstacles rather than having all obstacles removed. – Robert Brooks, PhD

Tried-and-true ways to raise a confident kid

hildren raised to be confident have the tools to be resilient in a challenging world. Confidence helps children handle peer pressure, stress, obstacles, and much more. There’s a fine line between developing confidence and raising kids who are overly boastful. Parents, teachers and other influential figures can employ various research-based strategies to start boosting kids’ confidence. Allow children to make mistakes and learn from them Mistakes happen, and children benefit from making mistakes and learning from them. Children who fail, pick themselves up and

Fatherhood June 11, 2019

try again are learning lessons of resiliency. Their confidence develops as they pick themselves up again, learn from their mistake and ultimately meet with success. Resist the temptation to “fix” everything Parents may get hung up on trying to improve on their children’s efforts to make it perfect. This may occur with school work. According to the mental health wellness resource Psychology Today, constant intervention undermines children’s confidence and prevents them from learning for themselves. Model and teach positivity It can be easy to fall into a pattern of

saying things like, “I’ll never be able to do that” or “It’s too difficult.” But parents must remember that their children take their cues from mom and dad. Parents who stay positive in the face of adversity will instill the same attitude in their children. Value their ideas Ask children for age-appropriate advice, suggests the growth mindset company Big Life Journal. Showing kids their ideas are worthy can instill confidence. Give praise when it’s deserved Praise children when they do their best, but avoid praising kids when they don’t try their hardest or if they are still working

toward solving a problem they haven’t yet figured out. In lieu of praise, provide encouragement and urge youngsters to try again and practise. Skip the rescue operation Parents often are quick to swoop in and try to prevent kids from feeling hurt or discouraged. However, according to Robert Brooks, PhD, who coauthored the book “Raising Resilient Children,” it’s all right for kids to fail and feel sad or angry. Success is learned by overcoming obstacles rather than having all obstacles removed. Above all, children who are loved and supported can develop confidence through the years with some well-placed guidance.

Father’s Day gifts for the modern dad

ather’s Day is a chance for people to show the special men in their lives just how much they’re loved. While there are many different ways to honour dads, it has become customary to offer gifts and other tokens of affection. According to History.com, Americans now spend more than $1 billion each year on Father’s Day gifts. Many modern fathers are more involved in their children’s lives and around the house than their own fathers were. Gifts that cater to today’s well-rounded dads are sure to be appreciated. • COOL DUDS: Modern dads are fashion-forward and might enjoy a piece of clothing or a gift card to their favourite retailer. If you know a store where Dad loves to shop, stop in for some inspiration. • PAMPERING PRODUCTS: Mom is not the only one who likes to indulge in some pampering from time to time. Put together a carefully curated basket of men’s grooming products, or purchase a set from a bath and body store.

• FITNESS FINDS: If you haven’t already gifted the special man in your life with a fitness tracker watch, now is the time to do so. Such a watch will tap into his love of gadgets and provide some utility as he tries to be as healthy as possible. • SUPPORT THE TEAM: If Dad is a sports fan, find a baseball cap or a jersey of his favourite team/player. Many sports stores only carry inventory for local teams. If Dad supports a team in a different province or country, do your shopping online. • CRAFT BEERS: The craft beer movement has expanded exponentially in recent years. Visit with a local brewer and purchase bottles or growlers of a favourite brew. If you know the flavour profile that Dad favours, find a beer that suits that preference while also giving him some new varieties so he can put together his own flight.

Victoria Caledonian Distillery & Twa Dogs Brewery

ere at the Victoria Caledonian Distillery & Twa Dogs Brewery, we’re driven to craft outstanding beers, exceptional single malt whiskies and great visitor experiences. Bringing together the best people, natural ingredients, and equipment, we invite you to experience the results of our passion! Guided by his love for Uisge Beatha, the water of life, Graeme Macaloney, our ex-pat Scot founder and whisky maker, set out to create the finest single malt whisky in North America and perhaps the world. Driven by quality, he focused his efforts on bringing together the industry’s best Scotch distillers, ingredients and equipment. Thanks to our high-quality ingredients, world-class facilities and deep expert knowledge base, we’re able to produce exceptional single malt whiskies in just three short years using exclusively traditional techniques. Our world-class distillery is built around our traditional Forsyth’s copper pot stills.

These hand-hammered behemoths produce extremely smooth and fruity spirits ideal for absorbing the unique flavours of our carefully selected oak casks, which emanate from as far away as Kentucky, Portugal, Spain and Scotland. Locally, our exceptional Canadian barley, with Island water and air, produces a complex but balanced spirit, while bringing a pristine quality to the final drink. Twa Dogs beers are brewed without pretense or filtration, using only the finest ingredients. Like the Robert Burns poetry that inspired them, our beers are crafted with finesse while unafraid to embrace bold and distinct flavours. Our team is passionate about what we’ve created and we can’t wait to share it with you. Touch, smell and taste your way through our wide selection of craft beers and whiskies as part of our immersive brewery and distillery tours. Discover the ingredients, methods, and passion that go into each and every bottle we produce.

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Come Outside and Play!

A genuine conservationist is one who actively participates in our great outdoors and has a moral mission to conserve its fish, wildlife, and their habitat.

e at the Victoria Fish and Game Protective Association are committed to ensuring the healthy survival and abundance of our fish and wildlife for generations to come through programs and funding. Every year, we help host B.C. Family Fishing Weekend (Saturday June 15th – Sunday June 16th) at our facilities. The Freshwater Fisheries Society of B.C. stocks our pond, and we introduce angling to beginners by providing the pond, fishing rods, and bait for their use. In addition to fishing, on Sunday we also host Outdoor Discovery Day (Sunday June 16th), a free open house

event for the public to safely experience guided introductions to archery, airsoft, muzzle-loaded black powder firearms, cowboy action, pistol, and trap shooting. This year marks our 100-year centennial celebration – so come on out, experience the great outdoors, and try something new! We strive to foster a supportive and family-friendly environment. This is what makes our club special, an atmosphere where we support each other to enhance our recreational and shooting experience. For more information, you can visit our website at vfgpa.org.

Changing parenting roles for dads

arenting roles continue to evolve as families look for solutions that meet all of their needs. In an effort to meet the financial demands of raising a family, parents may be taking on less traditional roles. For example, many fathers are now stay-at-home dads. The number of stay-at-home fathers continues to climb. The Pew Research Center indicates that roughly 550,000 men in the U.S. have become full-time stay-at-home parents in the previous 10 years. Economics have forced many couples to make less-traditional decisions for their families. The National At-Home Dad Network says the stay-at-home dad is a growing trend because men want to be more involved with their kids. The following factors may give families pause to consider swapping parental stereotypes in favour of stay-at-home fathers. • EARNING POTENTIAL: Money is very often a factor in deciding that Mom will be the breadwinner and Dad will be the

Fatherhood June 11, 2019

caregiver. In the event one parent earns considerably more money than the other, and paying for childcare so both parents can work would be a detriment to the family, it can make sense to have the higher earner be the sole breadwinner. • PERSONALITIES: Some women simply see themselves thriving more in the workforce than as a primary caregiver at home, while some dads want to be home with their children and do not measure success in job titles or income. These scenarios make the stay-at-home dad model more plausible. • OPEN-MINDEDNESS: If the situation does not adversely affect the children, and grandparents and other supportive people in the kids’ lives are amenable to the idea, then accepting less traditional roles can be successful. Traditional family roles are increasingly falling by the wayside as both men and women put their families first and make decisions based on what’s best for all members of the family.

Make his first Father’s Day special Dads are often the first heroes in their young children’s lives. Dads chase away ghosts in the closet, let their daughters dance on their toes and teach their sons how to win the heart of their first crush.

he first Father’s Day a new dad spends with his growing family can be quite memorable, as celebrating one’s fatherhood for the first time is a unique and special time. Spouses and other family members can go the extra mile to make this year that much more special for first-time fathers. LET DAD SLEEP IN: Chances are Dad is enamored with his little bundle of joy, but it’s well-known that being a new father often means sacrificing sleep time — especially for the first several months to a year of that child’s life. Enlist the help of a family member who can be on baby watch while Dad gets to sleep in on the weekend of his big day. With some extra sleep, Dad can enjoy Father’s Day that much more. CREATE A FIRST-YEAR MEMORY BOOK: Take the time to put together a scrapbook of the photos and moments baby and Dad have gotten to spend together. So much focus is often placed on a new baby and his or her mother that Dad may be left playing second fiddle. Make it clear that fathers are

key to their children’s development and happiness, too. MAKE A BABY KEEPSAKE: Use washable ink so that baby can sign a Father’s Day card with a hand or footprint. The tradition can be repeated year after year until the child is old enough to write. GO OVERBOARD ON GIFTS: The idea isn’t to buy Dad’s love, but Dad’s first Father’s Day is a truly unique time. On behalf of his firstborn, purchase a few different gifts — those items that he has been interested in buying but has resisted in favour of saving money for new onesies and burp cloths. Or invest in one special-event gift, such as tickets to a game to see his favourite team or a concert to catch a favourite band. BOOST HIS EGO: Get matching T-shirts for baby and Dad with cute memes and sayings, such as “Couch Potato” and “Tater Tot.” Father’s Day comes once a year. However, a father’s very first Father’s Day occurs just once. Use the opportunity to pamper Dad so he can savour this truly special experience.

Simply the

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Retail industry helped shape Father’s Day Father’s Day arrives the third Sunday in June and presents a special way to show the fathers in one’s life how much they are cherished. People shower dads with gifts, but may not know just how Father’s Day came to be.

Fatherhood June 11, 2019

he concept of Father’s Day was inspired by Mother’s Day celebrations and was initiated by a woman named Sonora Smart Dodd, who wanted to do something to honour her single father. The concept of Father’s Day was slow to take root. However, the retail industry helped propel Father’s Day to a national holiday. In the early days of Father’s Day, Dodd worked with her local YMCA and local churches to adopt what was supposed to be a religiously influenced holiday. But in the early 1900s, dads did not necessarily have the same hands-on role that many fathers have today. Cartoons published in newspapers, portrayed Dad as the breadwinner and a distant fellow who wasn’t as involved as his wife in day-today interaction with his children. A 1915 issue of the St. Johns Herald and Apache News from Arizona joked that fathers probably didn’t want another holiday and would be more content to drink, smoke and sleep in late. Dodd and others realized that marketing would be key to Father’s Day’s success. Clothing manufacturers, people who made tobacco and other merchants of products made for men found Father’s Day a way to sell merchandise. It just took a while for them to come around. A Father’s Day Council was started in the 1930s and was propelled by a group called the New York Associated Menswear Retailers. Many people joke that, because neckties are so often given on Father’s Day, the necktie industry must’ve had a hand in endorsing Father’s Day. And there is truth to that. The council was responsible for selling shirts, hats and, of course, neckties. In 1938, the National Council for the Promotion of Father’s Day was formed, primarily due to poor menswear retail sales. Dry goods, clothing and tobacco associations help promote Father’s Day, and after they held a “Father’s Day Sports Day” parade in 1941, Father’s Day sales increased, and the holiday became more popular.

1. START DANCING Dancing isn’t just a fun activity, it’s also a very healthy one. While dancing might often be categorized as a recreational activity, such a categorization overlooks the many health benefits of cutting a rug. Dancing is a great cardiovascular exercise that works multiple parts of the body. Routine cardiovascular exercise has been linked to reduced risk for heart disease and other ailments. In addition, a 2009 study from researchers in South Korea found that hip hop dancing can boost mood and lower stress.

3 fun ways families can get fit together

he buddy system is widely used to help men and women get in shape. Friends can encourage their workout partners to get off the couch on days when their motivation might be waning, and partners can return that favour when the roles are reversed. And the benefits of the buddy system are not exclusive to adults, as families can rely on it to make sure moms, dads and kids each get the exercise they need. According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, ongoing exercise can help people of all ages control their weight, improve their mental health and mood and reduce their risk for various diseases, including heart disease and type 2 diabetes. And the benefits may go beyond those normally associated with exercise, particularly for young people. A 2009 analysis of the fitness records of 1.2 million Swedish men born between 1950 and 1976 found that the more exercise they had during adolescence, the more likely they were to be professionally successful as adults. Getting fit as a family can be easy. The following are just a few ways parents and their children can get in shape together.

2. SCHEDULE DAILY EXERCISE TIME Parents and their children are as busy as ever, so it makes sense to schedule family exercise time just like you schedule family meals or outings to the museum. Kids who compete in sports may already get enough physical activity each day. The CDC recommends children participate in at least 60 minutes of physical activity each day, so kids who aren’t playing sports can spend an hour each day sweating alongside mom and dad. 3. WALK AFTER DINNER Families who routinely dine together can delay doing the dishes to walk off their meals. A walk around the neighbourhood after dinner provides solid family time, but it’s also a great way to stay healthy. A 2017 study from researchers at the University of Warwick that was published in the International Journal of Obesity found that people who took 15,000 or more steps each day tended to have healthy body mass indexes, or BMIs. That’s an important benefit, as an unhealthy BMI is often a characteristic of obesity. Getting fit as a family can be fun and pay long-term dividends for parents and children alike.

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