The Weekender 04-03-2013

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VOL. 20 ISSUE 21 APRIL 3-9, 2013 • THEWEEKENDER.COM

BEYOND FALLEN REUNITES, P. 10

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W E N N I E P S R O R T BA S N S R KE U T IL E R W Y B S IN S O RIE C L TO L I B S

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“Bill Cosby.”

letter from the editor

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Contributors Ralphie Aversa, Justin Brown, Kait Burrier, Caeriel Crestin, Pete Croatto, Nick Delorenzo, Tim Hlivia, Melissa Highes, Michael Irwin, Amy Longsdorf, Matt Morgis, Ryan O’Malley, Kacy Muir, Jason Riedmiller, Erin Rovin, Ned Russin, Chuck Shepherd, Jen Stevens, Alan K. Stout, Mike Sullivan, Bill Thomas, Mark Uricheck, Robbie Vanderveken, Noelle Vetrosky, Bobby Walsh, Derek Warren Interns Karyn Montigney, Lisa Petz, Bill Rigotti Address 90 E. Market St., Wilkes-Barre, PA 18703 Fax 570.831.7375 E-mail Weekender@theweekender.com Online theweekender.com • facebook.com/theweekender • follow us on Twitter: @wkdr Circulation The Weekender is available at more than 1,000 locations throughout Northeastern Pennsylvania.

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The opinions of independent contributors of the Weekender do not necessarily reflect those of the editor or staff.

Rating system WWWWW = superb WWWW = excellent WWW = good WW = average W = listenable/watchable * Scarborough Research

I still can’t believe I talked to Bill Cosby, though that may be due to the fact that my head has been in a fog for weeks.

He is a man who needs no introduction, so I won’t go on and on about this man’s storied career. He’s overcome adversity and triumphed against all odds using the most universal language next to love – comedy.

Making people laugh isn’t always easy, but Mr. Cosby makes it appear so. When I talked to him last week from his hotel in Hawaii, one would assume that he was on vacation, relaxing on the beach and sipping margaritas, but he was

social

actually there to perform two shows before hopping on a plane (or two) to Wilkes-Barre. Even telling jokes is work, and he’s easily one of the most hardworking men in the business, even at 75 years old.

If you’re as curious about his creative process as I was, turn to pages 28 and 29 and learn a bit about how he makes his comedy “soup.” It’s a recipe he’ll never reveal completely, but he’ll be offering a taste April 5 at the F.M. Kirby Center.

After two weeks of being sick, it was just what the doctor ordered.

-Rich Howells, Weekender Editor

Online comment of the week.

Kyle Gorry @TheGorester Had a dream where i had to get a project reviewed by my teacher one on one but all I had was a picture of Bill Cosby that said deal with it.

The Weekender has 11,728 Facebook fans. Find us now at Facebook.com/theweekender

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COVER STORY bill cosby ... 28-29

LISTINGS

the w ... 7 coNceRts ... 21 theAteR ... 17 weekeNdeR live ... 22 AGeNdA ... 27, 30 sPeAk & see ... 36

MUSIC

Mykki blANco ... 7, 51 beyoNd fAlleN ... 10 bReAkiNG dowN the wAlls … 10 AlbUM Reviews ... 14 chARts ... 14 fARley ... 18 siXteeNhUNdRed … 20

STAGE & SCREEN

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PENNSYLVANIA AMERICANA Kyle Morgan releases debut album

Movie Review ... 16 stoMP ... 25 iNfiNite iMPRobAbility … 31 RAlPhie RePoRt ... 32 stARstRUck ... 32 stoRyslAM ... 38

ARTS

Novel APPRoAch... 24 fiRst fRidAy scRANtoN ... 34 AeRiAl PhotoGRAPhy ... 35

LIFESTYLE

secURely fAshioNed … 33 show Us soMe skiN … 37 wUdANG swoRdsMeN AcAdeMy ... 40 MAN …53 Model … 54

HUMOR & FUN

sPUZZle … 27 Pet of the week … 32 GiRl tAlk … 36 News of the weiRd ... 41 soRRy MoM & dAd … 41 i’d tAP thAt … 43 siGN lANGUAGe … 44

GAMES & TECH

tech tAlk … 31 Get yoUR GAMe oN … 42 MotoRheAd … 42

ON THE COVER

Photo by eRiNN chAleNe cosby desiGN by AMANdA dittMAR volUMe 20 issUe 21

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index April 3-9, 2013

THE WUDANG WAY New martial arts school opens in Wilkes-Barre

only at www.theweekender.com WATCH FARLEY’S NEW VIDEO FOR ‘EYES WIDE OPEN.’

What

….is David Draiman of heavy metal group Disturbed up to?

He’s playing with his new industrial band, Device, and the group will come to the Sherman Theater (524 Main St., Stroudsburg) May 7 at 8 p.m.

Tickets go on sale April 5 at noon and are $20 in advance, $22 at the door. Tickets are available at ticketmaster.com, all Ticketmaster outlets, at the Sherman Theater box office, or charge by phone at 800.745.3000.

When Photos by Jason Riedmiller Mykki Blanco’s edge is not for the faint of heart.

Mykki Blanco debuts controversial rap in NEPA R EV I EW

By Jason Riedmiller

Weekender Correspondent

Rapper Mykki Blanco makes the kind of hip-hop that frightens people.

Like Black Power rappers KRS-1 and Chuck D, Blanco challenges the white establishment. Like violence-glorifying gangster rappers N.W.A. and 2Pac, Blanco may be considered a bad influence. This is, however, the new millennium, and hip-hop is the new mainstream.

Hip-hop is Top 40 and big business. The typical white American teen tends be a hip-hop fan and most likely inherited the genre from their parents’ CD collection. So what is it about Mykki Blanco that frightens people in 2013?

There were no pronoun typos in this paragraph: Blanco’s gender identity provokes people of all ethnicities. Drag and gender identity are among the last surviving taboos in American pop culture, and performance artist

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….will the local ladies be fortunate enough to watch Adam Levine strut his tattooed self on stage right in front of their eyes?

It was just announced that Maroon 5 and Kelly Clarkson will hit the stage at Toyota Pavilion at Montage Mountain on Sept. 1 as part of the 2013 Honda Civic Tour presented by American Honda Motor Co. For the Montage show, artist Rozzi Crane will also lend musical talent.

Tickets to see the Grammy Award-winning artists go on sale April 6 at 10 a.m. and will be available at the Toyota Pavilion Box Office, ticketmaster.com, Ticket Master outlets, or by phone at 800.745.3000.

“We are very excited to team up with the Honda Civic Tour,” Levine said in a press release. “Kelly, PJ, Rozzi and Tony are all such unique and amazing artists. I’m really looking forward to hitting the road with them. Each night will be a great night of music.”

Where

….can you go to get a trim, or a whole new hairstyle completely? Save time for a haircut on April 22, the day that The Sapphire Salon and Spa (2211 Shoppes Boulevard, Moosic) will not only attempt to break a world record, but give to a great cause in the process.

That day, the salon is holding a cut-a-thon from noon to 9 p.m. with $30 haircuts; all proceeds go to Earth Month. Beauty company Aveda has celebrated this month since 1999, raising over $26 million in an effort to make a difference in the world.

For more information on the event, call 570.414.7700.

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“Each night will be a great night of music.”

-Adam Levine, Maroon 5

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Michael David Quattlebaum, Jr. defies taboo as Mykki Blanco.

The rapper brought his edgy rhymes about sex and alternative lifestyles to Wilkes-Barre on Friday, March 29. Downtown Arts, the former First United Methodist Church, was an ironic setting for Blanco’s NEPA debut.

EDM DJs started the evening as the enthusiastic and seemingly chemically-enhanced scene kids filled up the small venue. Many came to see the first solo performance of former Tiger’s Jaw singer Adam McIlwee. And then there was… nothing.

Mykki Blanco was nowhere to be found, unless, of course, you had a smart phone and Twitter account. As the hour approached midnight, Blanco was still getting ready in the hotel room and posting glam shots of herself to Instagram.

At 12:30 a.m., the nervous tension of Blanco’s absence was beginning to dissipate and a few of the college-aged kids began to filter out before the bars closed.

Just when it seemed she would be a no-show, the fog machine kicked on. The room filled with an eerie green light and raveheavy beats. Mykki took the stage dressed in a hoody and skirt combo, adorned with anime characters.

The small but lively crowd soaked up the kind of rage only a transgendered rapper could spit. Mykki Blanco expressed her mélange of angst and joy with rap. S/he is the American dream/ nightmare, and that is how you frighten people with hip-hop in 2013.

WEEKENDER, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 3, 2013

Music

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Breaking Down the Walls

Beyond Fallen rise again

Title Fight return to NEPA with news

We have been pretty busy at Camp Title Fight for over the past couple of months.

We started off the year touring right away, and as this is being published, we are flying home from the last show of a threeweek stint, which ended in Japan.

Aside from playing, we have been very busy keeping up with some other projects that were announced over the last two weeks.

Firstly, I’m finally able to talk about the mystery show that I alluded to in my last article. Title Fight will be playing on June 14 at the Underwood Skatepark in Taylor with Merchandise, Milk Music, and Destruction Unit. I think this is one of the coolest, most interesting tours of the year, so I’m very happy to announce its stop in Northeast Penn. I used my own advice and didn’t stop looking for a venue, and fortunately, it finally panned out in my favor.

Merchandise, from Tampa, Fla., put out my possibly favorite record of last year called “Children of Desire.” They play a synth-laced form of pop which is also loaded with feedback, but it doesn’t hide their amazing musicianship. Milk Music of Olympia, Wash., put a modern twist on the classic sound from their area. They released a record entitled “Beyond Living” in 2010 and are just now following it up with “Cruise Your Illusion,” released via Fat Possum (and vinyl released by the band themselves) on April 2. Destruction Unit play a very riff-heavy rock sound and round out the tour package, adding even more diversity. This is also Title Fight’s first show

“Mindfire,” the snarling power/ thrash amalgam that helped break Weekender Correspondent Beyond Fallen further internationally, is still held in high regard by Beyond Fallen was a fire-breathfans as well as the band. Reviews ing metal machine for a while. for the record, like “it constantly atUpon the Northeast Penn. metal tracts you and kicks you in the nuts band’s formation in 2003, the guys by releasing anger and fury at the hit the world metal community same time,” were no idle wordplay. hard with an iron-fisted work ethic “When we wrote and recorded as heavy as their music, eventually the album, we worked hard,” began resulting in career milestones like Karavis, “and really, by the end of securing a record deal with Dutch the sessions, we didn’t know how label Melissa Records and supportit was going to go over. I’m really ing slots at festivals like Germany’s proud of it and happy with how it Headbangers Open Air and Ohio’s came out.”

Warriors of Metal.

Currently split from the one-alThe band, which entered into bum deal they had with Melissa Rea self-imposed hiatus a few years cords, the band is undaunted. While ago, is back to celebrate its tenth Karavis says they are still optioning anniversary on April 6 with a show record labels, they don’t necessarily at Diane’s Deli in Pittston. Acneed one to push their music. cording to band members, Beyond “The way things are now in Fallen is recharged and ready to music, artists may not even need a melt faces again. label, so we are going to keep going “We never broke up or called it with or without a label,” Karavis quits,” explained vocalist Joe Kara- stated. “Everyone is simply trying vis. “Some of the members had to do what they can to keep creatother obligations and things outside ing and putting music out there – it of music happening. As of the first is expensive to do it right.” of the year, everyone was available, Regardless of the record label focused, and ready to go, and the situation, fans of Beyond Fallen pieces simply fell into place.” can count on the band’s live show Guitarist Steve Jasuilewicz delivering the goods. The band’s echoes that sentiment. “Joe got in members recall some of their live touch with me and we had a few high water marks, notched by discussions about Beyond Fallen,” shows in Germany with bands from he said. “We knew we left too all over the globe, as well as gigs much on the table to just walk closer to home opening for estabaway. I was already playing in lished metal acts. another project with Butch (Frable, “Playing in Germany was Beyond Fallen co-lead guitarist) fantastic; the fans there are second when I approached him about play- to none,” remembered Steve ing again. A few phone calls later Jasuilewicz. “We hope to have the and everyone was ready to go.” opportunity to go back in the near Beyond Fallen is seemingly pick- future.” Karavis’ experience was ing up right where it left off. The similar. “It was one hell of a party,” band’s last studio album, 2007’s he said. “When you are on stage in “Mindfire,” arguably the band’s front of a huge crowd in another defining statement, was its third recountry and they are singing along, lease, and first on Melissa Records it’s a great feeling.”

– that album garnering acclaim Jasuilewicz notes that a show from metal fans and publications opening for thrash legends Overkill in Belgium, France, Greece, and at Allentown’s Crocodile Rock beyond. Karavis notes that the band Café in 2006 was one his most has new material they’ve worked memorable stateside gigs. “The on since, which he’s optimistic will crowd was huge and really getting see the light of day soon, “hopeinto our music. You can’t beat the fully this year.” feeling of a big crowd going nuts for your music.

We’ve been well-received by fans of those larger bands.”

Joe Karavis says that Courtesy Photo while the The metal group Beyond Fallen is back and atmosphere picking up right where it left off. locally for

By Mark Uricheck

LocaL music with titLe Fight’s Ned Russin | Special to the Weekender

around home since our record release last October, so it should be a fun show on all accounts.

Secondly, in the last two weeks, we were relieved to finally be able to talk about our split with Touché Amoré set to be released on Record Store Day 2013 (Don’t worry, I will discuss RSD in the next article). Touché recorded their side of the split over a year ago, and we recorded ours only a couple months later when we were tracking “Floral Green” but have kept it a secret ever since. Somehow, some information leaked out through the Internet and slowly everything came out, which lead to a proper announcement last week.

The record will be released by the brand new label Sea Legs, which is headed by our great California-by-way-of-New England friend Merrick Jarmulowicz, who also books both Touché and us. This has been over a year in the making at this point, so we are happy that we don’t have to keep it a secret anymore.

Also, last but not least, there is a show happening on April 7. I mentioned it before, but to make sure no one forgets, I have made sure to mention it again.

Hostage Calm will be playing in Nanticoke with Turnover and The World Is a Beautiful Place and I Am No Longer Afraid to Die. This is Hostage Calm’s first time back to W-B since releasing their latest LP on Run For Cover Records, “Please Remain Calm.”

Scranton’s Shorthand will also be playing the show.

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Photo by June Zandona Touché Amoré has partnered up with Title Fight for a Record Store Day release.

Beyond Fallen, The Curse of Sorrow, and Purveyor: April 6, 8 p.m., Diane’s Deli (206 South Main St., Pittston).

heavy bands is less stifling these days, with bands like The Curse of Sorrow finding club success, there is still a ways to go.

“It’s nice to see people in bands I’ve known for years still out there doing it,” Karavis admitted.

“I’ve got many friends that are in bands locally, not only metal.” He speaks of metal, still being the true “outlaw genre,” and that’s one thing that won’t change.

“There’s such a great diverse scene of players around here that play their own music, but it’s always been an uphill battle gaining acceptance locally for these artists.”

Karavis, a veteran of local heavy music pioneers like Anger Reign, recalls a time in NEPA when metal was truly dangerous.

“We (Anger Reign) were banned from a few local venues due to the moshing, which bar owners here had never seen before,” he recalled.

“Those were some good times.”

While Anger Reign are viewed as local heavy music pioneers, Karavis is forward-thinking, championing his current work in Beyond Fallen as a true engine of creation.

“Metal is such a diverse genre, with sub-genres and so on,” explained Karavis. “It’s an exciting style of music that affords limitless creativity and plenty of room to experiment.”

With new drummer John Jesuele in tow, for whom the Diane’s Deli show will be his first with the band, Beyond Fallen looks forward to a great night.

“It will be great to be out there again playing live,” Karavis said.

“The band has been working hard, and we put together a killer set for everyone.”

When it comes down to the music, Beyond Fallen may have classic metal overtones, but it’s essential to the band to have a contemporary feel.

“It’s important to us to write music that is timeless,” Karavis said.

“I want people to be able to listen back to our stuff 20 years from now and still really enjoy it. It’s 10 years after we wrote our first songs.

We are here still playing them live, and people still like hearing those songs.”

For more info on the band, visit beyonfallenmetal.com.

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album reviews ‘Comedown’ a letdown There are quite a few moments when listening to the new Strokes album when you’re left wondering whether the band will ever recapture the wild and joyous delight of songs like “Last Nite” and “The Modern Age.” Those were tunes that Strokes’ fans fell in love with when the band released their classic debut record “Is This It” in 2001.

The band continued to please fans and with follow-up records.

Tracks like “12:51” and “Reptilla” proved they could evolve their sound without straying too far from the original sound everyone fell in love with. They were able to keep fans interested and give them something fresh.

“Comedown Machine,” The

Strokes’ fifth album, sounds unlike anything written before it. For starters, singer Julian Casablancas took a more dynamic approach, moving from soothing and metallic to dancy and groovy.

Musically, the sound is more diverse. “Comedown Machine” is very preoccupied with a ‘70s and ‘80s vibe. One of the album’s best tracks, “Welcome to Japan,” hardly sounds anything like the Strokes of the past as they get all moochy, toe-tapping, and hip-swaying.

As the 11-track record progresses, it’s almost as if Casablancas wrote a solo album with the rest of the members backing him. He shows his passion for ‘80s new wave, and it seems as the rest of the band was dragged in with no

Suicidal Tendencies ‘13’ Rating W

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Muir still has his Tendencies The title referring to the passage of time since the last Suicidal Tendencies studio record, not the number of albums the band has released, Mike Muir and company roar back into crossover thrash/punk relevance with their snarky brand of tongue-in-cheek hardcore anthems. With the feisty, bandanaclad frontman Muir the lone original member at this point, Suicidal Tendencies still man-

choice.

“One Way Trigger,” although another dance/new wave tune, is solid for what it is and may be the standout on the record. “All the Time” should sound more familiar to Stroke fans and is the most obvious single.

A little over ten years ago, The Strokes were credited for “saving rock and roll” with their guitar driven sound. Now, in 2013, the band is more driven by fashion and playing vintage synthesizers.

Strokes fans of old will not be pleased, and fans of new wave/ dance will be able to point out much better songs in the genre than those comprised on this record.

The band is at a crossroads, and it will be interesting to see where they go from here, but this record is definitely a surprising effort that no one, maybe not even The Strokes, expected.

-Matt Morgis, Weekender Correspondent

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ages to project the same street-level riot fare that helped tracks like “Institutionalized” and “I Saw Your Mommy” become classics – not too serious, lyrically engaging, played with mosh-approved malice.

Leading off with the crunch of the skate punk platter “Shake It Out,” Muir plays to a parody of his persona, referring to himself as “Cyco Miko,” shouting throughout the song that “Suidicdal’s back.” “Smash It” is as breakneck as anything the band’s ever done, echoing back to the Minor Threat-influenced speed and venom of Suicidal’s 1983 self-titled debut. “God Only Knows…Who I Am” features the slippery funk side of the band that Suicidal cultivated in later years, notably with ex-bassist Robert Trujillo, reminiscent of Muir/Trujillo’s early 1990s funk/metal side project Infectious Grooves.

Current rhythm guitarist Dean Pleasants, with Suicidal since 1997 but with Muir since the earliest Infectious Grooves incarnation in 1989, anticipates Muir’s hijinks with bratty intuition. Pleasants colors tracks like “Cyco Style” with a mix of lighter, single-note licks and blast riffs, romping back and forth within Muir’s dementia of “charging like a crackedout ram.” Elsewhere, the band further jostles their own musical proclivities with mock balladry like “Til My Last Breath,” Muir’s thoughts sung with intentionally awkward phrasing.

As close to “classic” Suicidal Tendencies as you can get sans original lineup, “13” still snaps necks and irritates the establishment.

-Mark Uricheck, Weekender Correspondent

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charts

The Strokes ‘Comedown Machine’

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frustrated, angry-with-society vibes as their first album, but just as many of their original fans have grown up a little since then – they have to. The lyrical content still wants to make you scream lines like, “Head on the wall / Tell me why I feel so small,” but it also contains a more mature tone, questioning life rather than simply yelling and expecting results.

Five songs in, “Right Here” is the climax of the depression the album exhibits and the line, “All I really want is to stay right here right now / There’s so much more to talk about,” creates a transition into the rest of the album, deconstructing the issues presented in the first half. The most powerful, haunting line in the album, “Swear all the pain’s done / No trace or tremor here / Or The Story So Far am I still numb? / Have I been this whole ‘What You Don’t See’ year?” comes along in “The Glass” and shows the underlying confusion and uncertainty that will not wane easily. The rest of Rating W W W V the album finishes off strong with catchy riffs and strong instrumental punches, concluding with the realization and identification of the personal faults of the lyricist rather than placing the blame on others.

Although the impact of “What You Don’t See” may not be as powerful and distinct as “Under Soil and Dirt,” the two albums together create a very pure context for the band After an incredible first release with as a whole. They stuck with their raw but “Under Soil and Dirt,” several successful well-produced instrumental sound and laid tours with pop punk powerhouses such as their conflicted emotions out on the table for The Wonder Years and Man Overboard, and a pop punk lovers who find themselves leaning recent appearance on the cover of Alternative more towards punk to dig into and fill up.

Press, The Story So Far had a lot to live up to on their sophomore album.

-Erika Firestone, Weekender Fans were nervously crossing their fingers Correspondent an“What You Don’t See” gives off the same W

The Story continues

Top 8 at 8 with Ralphie Aversa 8. Demi Lovato: ‘Heart Attack’ 7. The Lumineers: ‘Ho Hey’ 6. Imagine Dragons: ‘It’s Time’ 5. Taylor Swift: ‘I Knew You Were Trouble’ 4. Justin Timberlake/Jay-Z: ‘Suit

Rating

& Tie’ 3. Calvin Harris/Florence Welch: ‘Sweet Nothing’ 2. Maroon 5: ‘Daylight’ 1. Bruno Mars: ‘When I Was Your Man’

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WEEKENDER, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 3, 2013

147 Division St., Kingston, PA

with worthy sequel

By Pete Croatta

Weekender Correspondent

Rating: W W W

“G.I. Joe: Retaliation” has nothing in common with 2009’s “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra,” an energy drink commercial with explosions and late 1990s special effects. There is even a closing song by the Black Eyed Peas – the lit wick on a perfect bomb.

Jon M. Chu’s sequel passes on the high-tech, cartoonish weaponry and the caffeinated action scenes that obliterated the senses and dulled the intellect. Knowing, apparently, is half the battle, especially when creating a solid action movie.

The “let’s pretend the first film didn’t happen” attitude starts immediately. Say goodbye to Dennis Quaid and Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s “Am I getting

paid in cash?” line readings, Sienna Miller’s manufactured sexiness, and Marlon Wayans’ deadly interpretation of comic relief. Channing Tatum is the only star remaining from the first movie. His Duke now leads G.I. Joe, though not for long. The super soldiers are ambushed after successfully retrieving a warhead in Pakistan. The U.S. government says it was retribution for the Joes going rouge. But they were following orders. Something is up.

The evil Cobra – the terrorist group, not the health insurance goons – has secretly infiltrated the White House, so G.I. Joe is history. A few patriots remain, including Roadblock (Dwayne Johnson) and Snake Eyes (Ray Park). Their plan to save the world from nuclear disaster involves mounds of casualties, Bruce Willis, and Adrianne

The second go-round for ‘G.I. Joe’ is a pleasant surprise.

like Super Balls. Chu (who honed his chops on the “Step Up 2” and “Step Up 3D”) realizes that it’s OK to take a breath so audiences can follow the excitement.

“G.I. Joe: Retaliation” has its share of issues, namely a few useless characters (like Palicki’s, whose sole purpose is to satisfy the “Maxim” crowd) and subplots that serve as padding. What sticks out about “G.I. Joe: Retaliation” is that it entertains us without insulting us. It is an indulgence you don’t instantly regret.

-Read more of Pete’s cinematic musings at whatpeteswatching. blogspot.com or follow him on Twitter, @PeteCroatto.

Coming to theaters this week: • Evil Dead • Jurassic Park: IMAX • 6 Souls DVDs released April 2: • John Dies at the End • Hemingway and Gellhorn • Marvel Cinematic Universe: Phase One - Avengers Assembled • That Thing You Do! (Blu-Ray)

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movie review ‘G.I. Joe’ retaliates

Palicki in a lap dancer’s idea of workout gear.

Plot isn’t why you watch “G.I. Joe: Retaliation.” It’s for stars and stunts – and possibly sex.

That’s why having Johnson and Willis this time around is crucial.

No one roots for the FX crew to save the day and these stars have time-tested, likable personalities.

Johnson is Schwarzenegger with charisma; Willis has been delivering humor-infused bluster since “Die Hard 2” was announced.

They, along with Tatum (who is polishing his self-effacing routine to a high gleam), put a face on the action. And even the mediocre actors here, such as Palicki and D.J. Cotrona, are light years better than the irritants and time-wasters in “Rise of Cobra.”

Their presence contributed to that movie’s almost clinical feel.

The effort extends to the action scenes. One featuring Jaye (Palicki) getting close to the President (Jonathan Pryce) has beatthe-clock pacing that was missing in the original, which favored an eat-from-the-trough approach of visceral onslaught. Snake Eyes and his accomplice (Elodie Yung) escape goons while zip-lining across the face of a mountain.

The slow-motion highlights the gymnastics of Park and the countless, anonymous red-clad ninjas who bounce around the crevices

Dietrich Theatre (60 E. Tioga STrEET, Tunkhannock, 570.996.1500, diETrichThEaTEr.com) • “Auntie MAMe:â€? April. 24-27, 7 p.M.; April 28, 3 p.M. • toM Knight puppet Show: April 17, 1:30 p.M. F.M. Kirby Center (71 public SquAre, wilKeS-bArre, 570.826.1100) • “pirAteS of penzAnce:â€? MArch 22, 8 p.M., $38.80-$69 Jason Miller Playwrights Project (570.591.1378, nepAplAywrightS@ live.coM) • DrAMAtiStS Support group: thirD thurSDAy of eAch Month, 7 p.M., the olDe bricK theAtre (126 w. MArKet ST., ScranTon). • SubMiSSionS for DyoniSiA ’13: the thirD AnnuAl JASon Miller plAywrightS’ proJect invitAtionAl being AccepteD through MAy 15.

King’s College Theatre (ADMin. blDg., 133 n. river St., wilKeS-bArre, 570.208.5825) • “richArD iiiâ€? by williAM ShAKeSpeAre: April 11-13, 15, 7:30 p.M.; April 14, 2 p.M. $12, StuDentS/Senior citizenS; $5.

Limelight Players • “into the wooDS:â€? April 5-6, 7 p.M.; April 7, 1 p.M., phoenix perforMing ArtS centre (409-411 MAin St., DuryeA). $12.

Misericordia University (www.MiSericorDiA.eDu, 570.674.6400; box office, 674.6719, miSEricordia.Edu) • “worKing: A MuSicAl:â€? April 11-13, 8 p.M., leMMonD theAter in wAlSh hAll. $5, ADultS; $3, StuDentS AnD Senior citizenS. Music Box Players (196 hugheS St., SwoyerSville: 570.283.2195 or 800.698.plAy or MuSicbox.org) â€˘â€œloving you hAS MADe Me bAnAnAS!: 50 ShADeS of love SongS:â€? April 12-13, 19-20, 8 p.M.; April 14, 21, 3 p.M. $34, Dinner AnD Show; $16, Show only.

Pennsylvania Renaissance Faire AuDitionS for the 33rD SeASon, MAnSion At Mount hope eStAte, route 72. cAllbAcKS will be helD in the Afternoon AnD will StreSS MoveMent. thoSe AuDitioning ShoulD weAr looSe fitting or coMfortAble clothing. by AppointMent only, 717.665.7021, ext. 120.

The Phoenix Performing Arts Centre (409-411 MAin St., DuryeA, 570.457.3589, phoenixpAc.vpweb.

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Sunday, April 21st

coM, phoenixpAc08@Aol.coM) • “Annie:â€? April 19-28. friDAy/SAturDAy ShowS, 7 p.M.; SAturDAy/SunDAy MAtineeS, 2 p.M. $12; $10.

Pines Dinner Theatre (448 north 17th St., Allentown.

610.433.2333. pineSDinnertheAtre. com) • “i love A piAno:â€? through June 2. thurSDAy AnD SunDAy, 12:30 p.M. Dinner, 2 p.M. Show; friDAy AnD SAturDAy, 6:30 p.M. Dinner, 8 p.M. Show. $48.50.

Scranton Cultural Center (420 n. wAShington Ave., ScrAnton, 570.346.7369) broADwAy ScrAnton (broADwAyScrAnton.coM) preSentS: • cAthy rigby iS “peter pAn:â€? April 5-7, fri., 8 p.M., SAt., 2 & 8 p.M., Sun., 1 & 6 p.M. • ArtSpower touring coMpAny preSentS “the little enging thAt coulD eArnS her whiStle:â€? April 6, 11 A.M. wiggleS AnD giggleS crAft worKShop At 10 A.M. $8, Show; $4, worKShop. • “hAir:â€? April 15-16, 7:30 p.M. • “DreAMgirlS:â€? MAy 10-12, fri., 8 p.M., SAt., 2 & 8 p.M., Sun., 1 & 6 p.M. Stage Directions Performing Arts Academy July 28-Aug. 3, 9 A.M.-5 p.M. DAily, ferrwooD MuSic cAMp (257 MiDDle roAD, DruMS). co-eD , AgeS 6-18.

Theatre at the Grove (5177 nuAngolA roAD, nuAngolA. nuAngolAgrove.coM, 570.868.8212, groveticKetS@frontier.coM) ticKet pricing: $18, plAyS; $20, MuSicAlS; $86, SuMMer pASS, firSt five ShowS; $120, SeASon pASS. All ShowS Are byob AnD feAture cAbArET SEaTing. • “ring of fire: the MuSic of Johnny cASh:â€? April 12, 13, 19, 20, 26, 27, 8 p.M.; April 14, 21, 28, 3 p.M. The Vintage Theater (326 Spruce St., ScrAnton, info@ ScrAntonSvintAgetheAter.coM) • ScrAnton coMeDy night: MArch 30, DoorS 7 p.M., Show At 8. $5.

Wilkes University (84 w. South St, wilKeS-bArre, 1.800. wilKeS.u, wilKeS.eDu) • “geMini:â€? April 11, 12, 13, 8 p.M.; April 14, 2 p.M. $10, generAl AnD AluMni ADMiSSion; $5, StuDent AnD Senior; free, current wilKeS StuDent with vAliD iD. Wyoming Area Drama Club (wyoMing AreA SeconDAry center, 20 MeMoriAl St., exeter.) • “SeuSSicAl the MuSicAl:â€? April 1213, 7 p.M.; April 14, 2 p.M. $10.

The Wyoming County Players (whipple perforMing ArtS StuDio, rt. 29S, tunKhAnnocK, 570.836.6986, wyoMingcountyplAyerS.coM) • “little MerMAiD, Jr.:â€? MAy 17, 18, 7 p.M.; MAy 18, 2 p.M.

WEEKENDER, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 3, 2013

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Farley carves own path with ‘Squaring Circles’

By Rich Howells Weekender Editor

When Tim Farley released his first record as “Farley” in 2011, he felt like he was still finding his footing as a solo artist.

As he prepares to release his sophomore album, “Squaring Circles,” he sounds much more confident in his work. “‘Squaring the circle’ is the term given to doing the impossible, or trying to do something that’s never been done before or that is seemingly impossible.

So I modified it to ‘Squaring Circles’ because I think that’s basically what we’re all doing nowadays in one way or another. All of us are trying to do the impossible, whether it’s finding a job in the economy or trying to send our kids to school or trying to get from point A to point B or keeping your relationship alive,” Farley explained.

“Within each of these songs, there could be found an example of struggle or loss or trying to write a wrong or trying to come to terms with something, all of which are squaring circles in their own right.”

This is not to say that the first CD, “A Good Problem to Have,” wasn’t well-received. It reached No. 1 on the regional Gallery of Sound charts in its second week of sales, and the single “Hindsight” is currently in the finals of the AAA category of the International Songwriting Competition.

Farley was also selected as one

of 32 emerging artists in Sony’s Sound and Image Showcase.

This may be because it was the product of a lifetime of experience.

“My dad was a singer in a band, and they practiced in my basement when I was like five. And I fell in love with the drums at that point, so then by the time I turned eight, my parents bought me my first drum kit and I started taking drum lessons. I started my first band when I was 12; I was playing drums and singing, and then at 13, we got a drummer and I moved out to vocals, and then I taught myself how to play guitar and keyboards, and the rest is kind of history,” he recalled.

With his father encouraging him to be a singer and his mother getting him into professional theater from the age of nine, Farley was already fronting his own band, Crooked Halo, as a teenager and later studied sound audio engineering. He made his biggest splash locally as the singer for alternative rock group Pan.a.ce.a, but as the popular band began to dissipate after nine years, he took some songs that didn’t work for them and formed his current project.

“Music is just as necessary to me as breathing. I don’t know who I would be without it, so there was no option of walking away,” Farley emphasized.

“If I wasn’t actively performing and writing records, that kind of thing, I could do any number of things with that – write songs for other people or just write songs for me to have.

I’m also trying to get more active in producing other bands and helping them out in the studio, and then I’m doing a lot more composing for film and commercials and television.”

The transition from hard to indie rock was simpler than one might think, as the 32-year-old said he is a fan of all musical genres and wasn’t trying to reinvent himself as a songwriter.

“I, quite frankly, try to bring as many different influences into my writing as I can. Now I’m not going to go out and try to be a rapper; that’s not who I am. However, a lot of times there might be like some kind of rap song I’m listening to and I’m like, ‘That beat is just fantastic,’ or, ‘That production is really great. How did they do that?’ and sort of pick apart different types of music and different styles so I can understand it a little bit better. Be a student of music first, and then you can create.”

Friend, producer, and co-writer Bret Alexander, who worked with Farley on Pan.a.ce.a’s records, has played an instrumental role in Tim’s solo career, helping him record and master both Farley albums, the latest funded by a Kickstarter launched last spring.

“The last one was a little more guitar, bass, and drums, and this one has got a lot more pop production value in it,” Alexander described.

“I just find his songwriting really unique. It’s kind of like this big rock pop record; there’re really not a lot of those around. In this area, you

Photos courtesy of EyeDesignStudios Farley’s ‘Squaring Circles’ focuses on heartache, loneliness, and other struggles.

see a lot of people that are in the jam band camp or they’re in the metal camp, and so there’re not as many all-points-inbetween bands.

I haven’t made too many records like the Farley record.

“It’s a breath of fresh air, and I’m really excited to see what happens when it gets out there in the world.”

“We’re on the same f——-g page, and I think the music definitely, definitely shows that,” Farley added. “It’s coherent, it’s cohesive, it’s f———g rock. It sounds great – I never would have gotten there without him.

And I wouldn’t be who I am today as a songwriter and as a person without him.”

“Squaring Circles’” six tracks continue to expand upon Farley’s personal and introspective songwriting, such as “Don’t Go,” which he started writing while touring in Ireland and thinking about his supportive wife back home in Danville.

“The whole premise of that song is having to be away from my wife because there’s also times where I’m at home and she has to go away. She was just in Texas for an entire month,” he shared.

“You kind of know that throughout life, people take their own way. People take their own road, even if it’s a child or someone that’s been very, very close to you, but they’re still walking their own path.

That song is basically about, ‘Who am I if you’re not here?’ but also understanding that we can’t always be together.”

“12 O’clock” is another relatable tune that is topical as well.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about the fact that we have been at war for the longest period in time in American history and how a lot of people that I know, a lot of friends of mine, have been doing multiple tours… There’s thousands who

are just away from their families,” Farley said.

“It’s sort of a longing to return when life was easier, maybe like when a soldier and his or her spouse first met. When they were young, things were kind of exciting and not so difficult… Some of these people have been away from their kids for so long that they’re all grown up when they get home. You’re missing all that time. You’re missing all that life, and for what?”

Farley will be joined live by drummer Matt Jaffin, who also played bass and drums on “Squaring Circles,” Jim Reynolds of The Push on guitar, and Mike Krebs of Kinsey on bass at TwentyFiveEight Studios, where he recorded his latest video for “Eyes Wide Open,” for an all-ages CD release party on Saturday, April 6 before it hits local Gallery of Sound stores on Tuesday, April 9.

His future goals include winning a Grammy and an Oscar and touring the world as a working musician, but for now, his mission remains simple.

“I hope (people) listen to the record and it was worth their while. That’s basically it. That’s enough for me… I’m not trying to change the world. I’m not trying to save anybody; I’m not even trying to save myself,” he insisted.

“I just want people to enjoy it… and maybe tell a friend.”

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SixteenHundred

Travel. Music. Musings.

Kait Burrier (words) and Jason riedmiller (photos) | Weekender Correspondents

Shins, Sharpe heat up Arizona stage “What a beautiful night!” cried James Mercer, gazing across the site of the 10th Annual McDowell Mountain Music Festival. The frontman for Grammy-nominated indie icons and Friday (March 22) night headliners, The Shins, shared in the awe of the locale.

For the past decade, bands have flocked to Arizona’s arts oasis. The MMMF, which donates 100 percent of its income, is run as a nonprofit organization produced and operated by Wespac Construction. Since its establishment, the festival has raised over $500,000 for family-based charities in Arizona. 2013 donations benefit Phoenix Children’s Hospital, Ear Candy Music Charity, and family shelter service provider UMOM. According to Phoenix Children’s Hospital’s Patricia Barney, the festival’s philanthropy resonates in the community long beyond the weekend’s festivities: “The people at Wespac have been great to work with. Last year they raised $43,000 for Phoenix Children’s Hospital.”

And that was just one-third of the charitable donation. “You know that their heart’s in the right place,” Barney smiled, “That’s why they put this on.”

Wespac Project Manager Chris Hundelt explained that the festival began on a much smaller scale as “more of a company party that grew as people were willing to donate.”

On its 10th anniversary, the festival boasted a sensational array of vendors – including Deschutes craft brewery – and an incredible lineup playing the stunning site just off of downtown Phoenix’s cultural hub, Roosevelt Row, during March’s perfect tourism weather.

Still taking in the scene, Mercer continued, “I don’t think I’ve ever been here when it was this gorgeous.” The Shins played an engaging 18-song set, pulling from each of their four LPs, with emphasis on the most recent, “Port of Morrow,” starting with

the album’s feedback-rich opening track, “The Rifle’s Spiral.”

Drummer Joe Plummer (Modest Mouse) thundered through 2001’s breakout hit “Caring is Creepy.” Mercer’s kite-like tenor soared over the allured crowd for single “Simple Song,” dipping low for a few emphatic line deliveries in time to the crowd’s clapping hands. The band bounced along to the “la-lala-las” of “Australia” and shook maracas and hips during “Bait and Switch.” Among others, the group played fan favorites “Phantom Limb,” “Saint Simon,” and “Kissing the Lipless.” They blazed through an up-tempo “So Says I,” omitting the title phrase but compensating with twice the rock.

Richard Swift’s keys and Mark Watrous’s slide guitar carried the slow, western rendition of “Port of Morrow” ballad “September.”

The album’s title track chimed with Nick Teeling’s glockenspiel, soulful vocals, stunning harmonies, delicate keys, and somber strings that buzzed into the beloved “New Slang.”

The audience echoed Mercer’s celestial delivery, and a swelling interlude led to “Sleeping Lessons” off “Wincing the Night Away.” Mercer plucked into the 2008 hit, then casually slung the guitar over his shoulder for some hushed vocals. Like Chekhov’s gun trope, bells hung from the fingers of a statue atop the kick drum; Mercer’s mic picked them up as Strummer shook them downstage and the band erupted into a dreamy jam. Yuuki Matthews kicked off the encore with a bass-laden “No Way Down,” followed by the beautifully muted “Girl Sailor” and an elastic instrumental into a pedal-fed, haunting, “One by One All Day.” Three sensational acts warmed up the main stage. SoCal decimette Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros played an enchanting set, scattering crowd pleasers from their debut album, “Up From Below,” and their

more recent LP, “Here,” including “That’s What’s Up,” “I Don’t Wanna Pray,” and the chart-topping “Home.” During the latter, singers Alex “Edward Sharpe” Ebert and Jade Castrinos – who bellowed so loudly that she clapped her hand over her mouth, giggling – playfully exchanged stories and opened the mic up to the crowd. The folk pop ensemble shared the love, wading into the audience and serenading swaying fans.

Balkan Beat Box and Arizona’s favorite gypsy-tinged collective, Dry River Yacht Club, filled the afternoon with world music. BBB brought passionate political lyrics, reggae beats, and an array of Israeli instruments.

Dry River Yacht Club – think Amanda Palmer meets The Decemberists at a poetry reading – stomped, plucked, strummed, and warbled their way across the stage. The band’s nine performers each played somewhere between the homegrown vaudeville of NEPA’s And the Moneynotes and the Brechtian theatre rock of Gogol Bordello; each member was a different gem glimmering under the same desert sun.

The array of local, national, and international bands drew an eclectic crowd to the festival’s new downtown home. “This is my fourth year,” asserted Phoenix resident Jeff Watkins, formerly of Wilkes-Barre, “but it’s the first they’ve had it downtown.”

Watkins was thrilled that the festival was moved from Scottsdale to the metropolis. “Downtown is booming,” he added, hoping that the festival, and its patrons, would continue to celebrate in music and philanthropy in downtown Phoenix.

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Look for part two of SixteenHundred’s coverage of the 2013 McDowell Mountain Music Festival in next week’s Weekender.

Photos by Jason Riedmiller

Party band Groove Train will play at the Bar on Oak in Pittston Twp. April 6 beginning at 8:30 p.m.

SHERMAN THEATER (524 mAin St., StroudSburg) 570.420.2808, ShermAntheAter.com • three dAyS grAce / pop evil: April 19, 8 p.m., $25 • chriS young: April 20, 8 p.m., $25$35 • Steel pAnther: April 26, 8 p.m., $20 • opeth / kAtAtoniA: April 27, 7 p.m., $23 TOYOTA PAVILION AT MONTAGE MOUNTAIN 1000 montAge mountAin roAd, ScrAnton old FArmerS bAll FeAturing cAbinet: mAy 11. $25.50; $64, vip. dAve mAttheWS bAnd: mAy 29. $40.50$75.

SteAmtoWn beer And muSic FeStivAl: june 15. rockStAr energy drink mAyhem FeStivAl: july 13. $31.50-$60.50 vAnS WArped tour: july 16. $35. victoriA juStice: Aug. 2. $45-$80. peAch muSic FeStivAl: Aug. 15. $35. jASon AldeAn: Aug. 25. $31.50-$61.25.

VINTAGE THEATER (326 Spruce St., ScrAnton) 570.589.0271, ScrAntonSvintAgetheater.com • the greAt pArty / uSeleSS beAuty: April 26, 7 p.m., $8 PHILADELPHIA ELECTRIC FACTORY (3421 WilloW St., philAdelphiA) 215.love.222, electricFActory.inFo • hoodie Allen / g-eAZy / ground up: April 11, 8:30 p.m.

• the blAck croWeS: April 12, 9 p.m.

• mindleSS SelF indulgence: April 14, 8 p.m.

• SevenduSt / coAl chAmber: April 18, 7 p.m.

• SuicidAl tendencieS / Sick oF it All / d.r.i. / WAking the deAd: April 19, 8:30 p.m.

• All time loW / pierce the veil: April 21-22, 6:30 p.m.

• the hooterS / good old WAr: April 27, 8:30 p.m.

THE FILLMORE AT THE TLA (334 South St., philAdelphiA) 215.922.1011, tlAphilly.com • they might be giAntS: April 5, 7 p.m.

• c2c: April 6, 9 p.m.

• AndreW mcmAhon: April 10, 7:30 p.m.

• bonobo: April 11, 9 p.m.

• pArkWAy drive: April 12, 7:30 p.m.

• Steel pAnther: April 16, 8 p.m.

• AnthrAx: April 18, 6 p.m.

• collie buddZ “light it up” tour: April 19, 9 p.m.

• keller WilliAmS With more thAn A little: April 20, 8 p.m.

• gogo morroW: April 24, 8 p.m.

KESWICK THEATRE (291 north keSWick Ave., glenSide)

215.572.7650, keSWicktheAtre.com • living colour: April 4, 8 p.m.

• dAve mASon (AcouStic duo): April 6, 8 p.m.

• bill coSby: April 7: 3 p.m.

• the mAverickS: April 10, 7:30 p.m.

• 1964: the tribute: April 12, 8 p.m.

• ron White: April 13, 7 And 10 p.m.

• b.b. king: April 17, 7:30 p.m.

• greAt big SeA: April 18, 7:30 p.m.

• Steve WilSon oF porcupine tree: April 19, 8 p.m.

• billy brAgg: April 20, 8 p.m.

• jAke ShimAbukuro / leo kottke: April 21, 7:30 p.m.

• boney jAmeS: April 24, 8 p.m.

• toWer oF poWer / AverAge White bAnd: April 26, 8 p.m.

• motoWn meetS rock & roll: April 28, 3 p.m.

TOWER THEATER (19 South 69th St., upper dArby) 610.352.2887, toWer-tHeatre.com • chriS tucker: mAy 10, 8 p.m.

TROCADERO THEATRE (1003 Arch St., philAdelphiA) 215.336.2000, tHetroc.com • SenSeS FAil / Such gold / reAl FriendS / mAjor leAgue: April 4, 7 p.m.

• tootS And the mAytAlS: April 10, 9 p.m.

• volbeAt / dAnko joneS / Spoken: April 11, 7:30 p.m.

• the legWArmerS: April 27, 9 p.m.

• johnny mArr: April 30, 8 p.m.

SUSQUEHANNA BANK CENTER (1 hArbour blvd., cAmden, n.j.)

609.365.1300, livenAtion.com/venueS/14115 • jenniFer hudSon: April 8, 7 p.m.

• tim mcgrAW: mAy 17, 8 p.m.

• the killerS: mAy 19, 8 p.m.

WELLS FARGO CENTER (3601 South broAd St., philAdelphiA) 215.336.3600, WellSFArgocenterphilly.com • mAroon 5 / neon treeS / oWn city: April 4, 7:30 p.m.

• FleetWood mAc: April 6, 8 p.m.

• rod SteWArt / Steve WinWood: April 12, 7:30 p.m.

• one direction: june 25, 7:30 p.m.

• juStin beiber: july 17, 7 p.m.

ELSEWHERE IN PA BRYCE JORDAN CENTER (127 univerSity dr., StAte college) 814.865.5500, bjc.pSu.edu • kendrick lAmAr: April 22, 8 p.m.

• bob SegAr & the Silver bullet bAnd: mAy 2, 8 p.m.

• Steve mArtin & the Steep cAnyon rAngerS: june 30, 8 p.m.

CROCODILE ROCK (520 WeSt HamiltoN St, alleNtoWN) 610.434.460, crocodilerockcAFe.com • endleSS victory / liminAl: (elite room) April 6, 7 p.m.

• reverSe order / crASh the pArty: April 6, 7 p.m.

• roSedAle / A Fighting chAnce: April 7, 6 p.m.

• red hill rAmblerS: April 10, 6 p.m.

• SpoSe: April 17, 7 p.m.

• Silver dreSS pAntS: April 19, 7 p.m.

• gAnStAgrASS: April 26, 7 p.m.

• millionAireS / trAce cyruS / beneAth the Sun / lAnciFer: April 28, 8 p.m.

GIANT CENTER (950 herSheypArk dr., herShey) 717.534.3911, giAntcenter.com • mirAndA lAmbert / dierkS bentley: April 19, 7 p.m.

• ruSh: june 21, 7 p.m.

SANDS BETHLEHEM EVENT CENTER (77 SAndS blvd., bethlehem) 610.2977414, SAndSeventcenter.com • yeS: April 7, 7 p.m.

• bill engvAll: April 12, 8 p.m.

• WAyne neWton: April 20, 8 p.m.

• doo Wop extrAvAgAnZA: mAy 4, 8 p.m.

• Alice in chAinS: mAy 7, 8 p.m.

• briAn regAn: mAy 12, 7 p.m.

• motley crue: mAy 20-21, 7 p.m.

• chicAgo: mAy 22, 7 p.m.

• Weird Al yAnkovic: june 4, 7 p.m.

• AmericA: june 29, 7 p.m.

• SArAh brightmAn: Sept. 22, 8 p.m.

SOVEREIGN CENTER (700 penn St., reAding) 610.898.7299, Sovereigncenter.com • diAne reeveS And the rSo jAZZ FeSt: April 5, 7:30 p.m.

• incognito / mAySA: jAZZ FeSt: April 6, 7 p.m.

• Fiddler on the rooF: April 15, 6 p.m.

• bob Seger & the Silver bullet bAnd: April 23, 7:30 p.m.

• joAn riverS: April 26, 8 p.m.

• tedeSchi truckS bAnd: April 28, 7:30 p.m.

SOVEREIGN PERFORMING ARTS CENTER (136 north 6th Street, reAding) 610.898.7469, Sovereigncenter.com • diAnne reeveS And reAding Symphony orcheStrA: April 5, 7:30 p.m.

• incognito FeAt. mAySA: April 6, 7 p.m.

• FourplAy: April 7, 7 p.m.

• brit Floyd: April 9, 8 p.m.

• Fiddler on the rooF: April 15, 7:30 p.m.

WHITAKER CENTER (222 mArket St., hArriSburg) 717.214.ArtS, WhitAkercenter.org • 2celloS: April 4, 7:30 p.m.

• dAve mASon AcouStic duo: April 12, 8 p.m.

• b.b. king: April 19, 8 p.m.

• the bAcon brotherS: mAy 4, 8 p.m.

• hot tunA electric: july 26, 8 p.m.

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April 13, 8 p.m., $7.

• eye on AttrAction / AtlAS ArroWS / StAtic in the Attic / in Writing: April 19, 8 p.m., $7.

• ShAyFer jAmeS / WiccA phASe / AStoriAn StigmAtA / Stereo clique: April 26, 8 p.m., $7.

• Where horiZonS meet / AS We WhiSper / Silhouette lieS / oFF the coASt: April 27, 8 p.m., $7.

PENN’S PEAK (325 mAury rd., jim thorpe) 866.605.7325, pennSpeAk.com • SAtiSFAction: April 5, 8 p.m., $20 • SouthSide johnny & the ASbury jukeS: April 19, 8 p.m., $22 • rAgdoll: tribute to FrAnkie vAlli And the Four SeASonS: April 24-25, 1 p.m.

• jAmey johnSon: April 26, 8 p.m., $30-$35 RIVER STREET JAZZ CAFE (667 n. river St., plAinS) 570.822.2992, riverStreetjAZZcAFe. com5 • tribute to Simon & gArFunkel: April 4, 10 p.m., $8 • george WeSley bAnd: April 5, 10 p.m., $8 • SuZe & kyle morgAn: April 6, 10 p.m., $8 • AmericAn bAbieS: April 11, 10 p.m., $8 • breAthe deep & jAm out: A beneFit concert For breAthe deep: April 12, 6 p.m., $8 • AlexiS p. Suter bAnd / eddie rAndAZZo: April 13, 10 p.m., $10 • touchpAntS: April 18, 10 p.m., $20 • ol’ cAbbAge: “An evening oF phiSh”: April 19, 10 p.m., $5 • bernie Worrell orcheStrA: April 20, 10 p.m., $8 • SpAce jeSuS / greenhouSe lounge: April 25, 10 p.m., $8 • StArt mAking SenSe: tAlking heAdS tribute: April 27, 10 p.m., $8 SCRANTON COMMUNITY CONCERTS (melloW theAter, 501 vine St., ScrAntoN) 570.955.1455, lAckAWAnnA.edu, etix. com priceS vAry, Student And group rAteS AvAilAble • the Four FreShmen: April 20, 8 p.m., $25-$30, $15 StudentS SCRANTON CULTURAL CENTER (420 n. WAShington Ave., ScrAnton) 888.669.8966, ScrAntonculturAlcenter.org • “peter pAn”: April 5-7, timeS vAry, $37-$57 • Air Force bAnd And Singing SergeAntS: April 9, 7:30-9:30 p.m.

• nepA philhArmonic: “StreiSAnd Songbook:” April 13, 8 p.m., $34-$65 • up & coming comedy SerieS: April 13, 8 p.m., $16 • nepA philhArmonic: “peter And the WolF:” April 14, 2 p.m., $9 • “hAir:” April 15-16, 7:30 p.m., $32.50$52.50 • “the vieW” With A ScrAnton Attitude: April 26, 7 p.m., $6

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ALICE C. WILTSIE PERFORMING ARTS CENTER (700 N. WyomiNg St., HazletoN) 570.861.0510, WiltSieceNter.org • Fiddler on the rooF: April 17, 7 p.m., $27-$52 The Cooperage Project (1030 mAin St., honeSdAle. 570.253.2020, thecooperAgeproject. org.) donAtionS Accepted And AppreciAted At the door At All eventS. • libertotrio: April 6, 7 p.m.

• electric open jAm: April 10, 7-10 p.m.

• hiroyA tSukAmoto: April 13, 7 p.m.

• Amy SpeAce: April 14, 5 p.m. $15, AdvAnce; $18 At the door.

FACTORY THEATER (School And Apple StreetS, nuremberg) 570.384.4309, nurembergplAyerS.org • 70’S FlAShbAck: April 20, 7:30 p.m., $15 F.M. KIRBY CENTER (71 public SquAre, WilkeS-bArre) 570.826.1100, kirbycenter.org • bill coSby: April 5, 8 p.m., $37-$75 • romeo And juliet: April 9, 10 A.m., $7 • ron White: April 11, 7:30 p.m., $41$51 • nepA philhArmonic: “Anne hAmpton cAllAWAy SingS the StreiSAnd Songbook:” April 12, 7 p.m., $34-$65 • Scotty mccreery: April 20, 8 p.m., $49-$99 • nepA philhArmonic: “Symphonie FAntAStique:” April 26, 8 p.m., $34-$65 • joAn riverS: April 27, 8 p.m., $39-$47 MAUCH CHUNK OPERA HOUSE (14 W. broAdWAy, jim thorpe) 570.325.0249, mAuchchunkoperAhouSe.com • Willy porter: April 19, 8:30 p.m., $23 • pAulA cole bAnd: April 20, 8 p.m., $32 • kAlob griFFin bAnd: April 26, 8:30 p.m., $18 • kAShmir: the ultimAte led Zeppelin ShoW: April 27, 8 p.m., $23 MOHEGAN SUN ARENA (255 highlAnd pArk blvd., WilkeSbArre) 800.745.3000, mohegAnSunArenApA. com • gAbriel igleSiAS: April 12, 8 p.m., $34-55 • ringling broS. And bArnum & bAiley: April 26-28, timeS vAry, $33-93 • ShinedoWn / buSh: April 30, 8 p.m., $25-$40 MOUNT AIRY CASINO RESORT (44 WoodlAnd rd., mount pocono) 877.682.4791, mountAirycASino.com • WAr: April 20, 8 p.m., $30-40 NEW VISIONS STUDIO & GALLERY (201 vine St., ScrAnton) 570.878.3970, neWviSionSStudio.com • the ludditeS / d-grAde monSterS / WArning level / teAm!: mArch 29, 8 p.m. $7.

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Thirst T’s: Jigsaw Johnny 9-1 Tommy Boys: The 90’s Band Woodlands: Evolution Nightclub - DJ SLMM JMM Top 40 & Club Music w/ Host 98.5KRZ’s Fishboy. Flaxy Morgan & DJ Mike “The Godfather” Streamside Bandstand & Exec Lounge Saturday: Arturo’s: Jim “The Wingman” Holeva 9p Bar on Oak: Groove Train 8:30-12:30 Bart and Urby’s: DJ Jam & Stosh Brews Brothers, Luzerne: The Black Kocks of Echo Creek Chacko’s: amRadio King’s, Mountain Top: Oz Liam’s: The 151 Project and TheWay Lovelton Inn: Mr. Echo Lower End: Castaway Band Metro: Classic Rock Express 9-1 River Street Jazz Caféé: Suze w/ opening act Kyle Morgan Rox 52: Exit Sixxx - No Cover Senunas’: DJ Hersh Stan’s Caféé: DJ Alero 9:30-1:30 Thirst T’s: Aim and Fire 9p-1a Tommy Boys: Three Imaginary Boys The Warehouse at Twentyfiveeight Studios: Farley cd release party w/ special guests Graces Downfall, A Fire w/ Friends and The Push Woodlands: Evolution Nightclub - DJ Davey B & DJ Kev the Rev playing Top 40 & Club Music w/ Host “Fishboy” of 98.5 KRZ & Picture Perfect w/ DJ Mike “The Godfather” Streamside Bandstand & Executive Lounge Vesuvio’s: Upper Echelon Sunday: Carey’s Pub: Karaoke w/ DJ Santiago The Getaway Lounge: Mr. Echo Metro: Strawberry Jam 8-?

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Morgan gets personal

By Rich Howells Weekender Editor

Kyle Morgan grew up singing in church, picking up a guitar when he was 12 and writing songs by 13. He was naturally drawn to folk music, but his biggest influence, by far, was Michael Piatt, a Tennessee blues singer known as “Rotten Belly Michael” in Rotten Belly Blues.

“He writes really authentic blues. He plays a lot of slide guitar. He’s kind of a mentor in that blues tradition for me,” Morgan described. “That’s what really propelled me in that world.”

It didn’t matter that Morgan was based in Harrisburg; in this day and age, country music is no longer confined to just the South.

“It’s much less regional than it was before, recorded music in general. I can listen to the recordings of people in the South from the 1920s, so in a way, it transcends time and place,” he explained.

“Its origins are in certain music, but I think it’s universal in the way that it reaches people anywhere in the country, or in the world, really. And also it has its roots in the British Isles and West Africa and all over the world, really, so like America, it’s a conglomeration of traditions.”

Also a member of Cold Front, a pop garage rock band from Philadelphia, and traditional folk group Tumbling Bones from Portland, Maine, the now 24-year-old is carving his own personal niche with his solo work, which has produced an

experimental folk rock record called “Starcrossed Losers.”

“It’s the kind of longing for the life I would like to live but am, as of yet, unable to attain. The songs kind of reach forward into the future towards the kind of person I’d like to be, anticipating it,” Morgan said of the 10 tracks on the album.

“Some of the songs go back a number of years. This was the first one I was able to pick from about 80 songs I’ve composed…

Half of them are new songs, half of them were older.”

Many of those songs began with a single line and a melody that “sets the mood” for the rest of the tune, crafting a “very personal” record in the process.

“I tend to write either external narrative songs about other people or things, but then I write personal songs, and I decided for this first (record) to choose songs that were taken, for the most part, from my life. It’s in a way typical love relationship (songs), but I think it goes beyond that… There are darker and lighter parts of the album, more feel-good songs and reflective, introspective songs,” Morgan noted.

“I think it’s a good variety of things. If you’re a classic rock fan, you’ll find things that you can latch on to, but if you’re more of a mellow folk fan, you’ll find that, too.”

The title, “Starcrossed Losers,” simply ties the subject matter of whole album together.

“A lot of the songs are kind of examining past relationships and trying to wrestle with how they failed, trying to reconcile useful revelations of love and of

life and trying to come to terms with how they don’t work out quite that way, moving from an idealistic perspective to a realistic perspective,” he said.

“Coming of age – growing up, you’d call it.”

He began recording in May of 2012, getting as many of his musician friends involved as possible, giving it a live and improvisational vibe – another Rotten Belly influence, he admits.

“A lot of it I kind of preorchestrated with horns and whatnot. I had specific parts I wanted, but then I had areas that I relegated to improvisation where I just let the musicians free to create on their own, and that really brought more life to just what my ideas would be,” he continued.

“You may be sacrificing some of the perfection of it, like I have to sing and it’s hard to really sing the whole take perfectly, but what you gain is the honesty and authenticity of being right there in the moment and not sacrificing that for perfection. There’s a balance between that.”

In between Cold Front and Tumbling Bones tours, Morgan will be showcasing the new record during several upcoming performances, most notably at a CD release party on Friday, April 5 at Sign of the Wagon (154 East Philadelphia St., York), where he’ll reunite with many of his friends who played on the recording, and during a performance with his band at the River Street Jazz Cafe (667 N. River St., Plains) on Saturday, April 6.

“It’ll be great just to have all the friends who contributed to it all together in one place, and it’ll be kind of like a celebration in that way,” Morgan said of the York performance.

“I didn’t want it to just be my project; I wanted to give it to other people and have them share it, and it’s as much their project as my own.”

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Courtesy Photo Kyle Morgan’s debut solo album is influenced heavily by his own life.

Kyle Morgan CD Release Party: April 5, 9:30 p.m., Sign of the Wagon (154 East Philadelphia St., York). $5-10.

Kyle Morgan + Band opening for Suze: April 6, 10 p.m., River Street Jazz Cafe (667 N. River St., Plains). $5.

Novel approach

Book reviews and literary insight

kacy Muir | Weekender Correspondent

‘Recalculating’ life “Fate makes us who we are / Just as we make it what it is / But the sadness overwhelms.”

The above lines originate from the poem, “The Truth in Pudding” by Charles Bernstein, which can be found in his latest poetry collection “Recalculating.” The poem, much like the entirety of the work, reverberates and sticks like tar to skin. Instead of removing the mess, we let it set, becoming a part of us as we gracefully move from one introspection to the next.

Bernstein first gained attention in 1975 with the publication of his first poetry collection, “Asylums.”

In 2010 an anthology, “All the Whiskey in Heaven,” was published, which encompassed over 30 years of Bernstein’s work. An aspect of Bernstein’s life that also went public was the tragic loss of his daughter, Emma Bee Bernstein, in 2008. “Recalculating” is the first full-length collection since her death.

The work, in a loving ode, begins with Emma’s words: “The road tells you what to do. Throw on some shades, pump up the radio, put your hands on the wheel.

Retrace your route in reflection, but look only as far as the blur of passing yellow lines to see the present. Race your future to the finish line.”

These words set the tone for the poetry that follows: a pursuit of brilliance and heart. Each of the poems stylistically varies, making it easy for readers to remain captivated. Though there exists a great heaviness to the compilation, readers can still laugh with pieces like “Poem Loading.”

Interestingly enough, the front cover of Bernstein’s collection also holds special meaning. The oil-based painting, created by his wife, artist Susan Bee, was a piece of an overall May 2011 collection also entitled “Recalculating.”

Bernstein’s titled piece “Recalculating,” which can be found

‘Recalculating’ Charles Bernstein Rating: W W W W W

towards the end, makes his collection fully circular by beginning and ending with thoughts regarding his beloved Emma: “I think of Emma climbing the icy rocks of our imagined world and taking a fatal misstep, one that in the past she could have easily managed, then tumbling, tumbling; in my mind she is yet still in free fall, but I know all too well she hit the ground hard.”

As expected, the collection is not without sadness. However, Bernstein takes readers on a journey of introspection that not only deals with mourning, but also his personal transformation following immense tragedy.

The difference between good and great poetry is its ability to make the reader feel. Some poets may be good, but Bernstein is perhaps one of the best contemporary poets alive. Bernstein, in all vulnerability, offers readers every emotion. In return, we complete the work, feeling ready for the race ahead.

Books released the week of April 8: • ‘My Way: An Autobiography’ by Paul Anka •‘The Art of BioShock Infinite’ by Ken Levine • ‘Don’t Go’ by Lisa Scottoline • ‘The Interestings: A Novel’ by Meg Wolitzer • ‘Secrets from the Past’ by Barbara Taylor Bradford

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WEEKENDER,

WEDNESDAY,

APRIL

3,

2013

BENEFITS/CHARITY EVENTS American Cancer Society Relay foR life events spRing CRaft faiR team fundRaiseR: apRil 6, 10 a.m.3 p.m., CRestwood HigH sCHool (281 s. mountain Blvd., mountain top). ameRiCan lung assoCiation aRena ClimB: apRil 6, RegistRation Begins at noon, ClimB staRts at 1 p.m., moHegan sun aRena, wilkes BaRRe. to RegisteR online visit www.lunginfo.oRg/aRenaClimB. figHt foR aiR walk: June 8, king’s College BetzleR fields, wilkes-BaRRe. foR moRe info visit www.lunginfo. oRg/wBwalk Blue Chip Farms Animal Refuge (974 loCkville Rd., dallas, 570.333.5265, www.BCfanimalRefuge. oRg) • 1st AnnuAl Motorcycle run, “Hogs foR dogs:” may 12, staRt and ends at tHe getaway lounge, plymoutH. RegistRation 11 a.m. to noon, staRts 12:15, Rain oR sHine. $20, RideR; $10, passengeR. • DArt tournAMent: MAy 26, noon, muRpHy’s puB, swoyeRsville. $90 peR tHRee-peRson team. sign-ups fRom

10:30 to 11:45 a.m. foR moRe infoRmation ContaCt mdima72000@yaHoo. Com. • HAircut funDrAiser: MAy 19, 11 a.m.- 4 p.m., spoRts page (twin staCks CenteR, 1100 memoRial HigHway, dallas and 160 Boston ave., west pittston). Call foR an appointment at 570.675.2466 oR 570.654.6114.

Breathe Deep NEPA (www.lungevity.Com) • “BreAtHe Deep & JAM out!” Benefit ConCeRt: apRil 12, 7 p.m.-1:30 a.m., RiveR stReet Jazz Cafe (667 n. RiveR st., plains townsHip). $8. featuRes musiC By BaCk mountain, Jennie gold, RiCH paRtington, got u CoveRed, paulsko, 20 lB Head and esta Coda.

“Have a Heart for Autism: A Spectrum of Love” benefit show pResented By paRents loving CHildRen tHRougH autism foundation and JoHn and eRin CaBaRet pRoduCtions: apRil 6, 7 p.m., gRaCe episCopal CHuRCH (104 lauRel dRive sCRanton). autism awaReness and eduCation faiR Beginning at 5:30 p.m. tiCkets aRe $15 and Can Be puRCHased online at ouRCaBaRet.Com oR By pHone at 1.800.838.3006.

Make-A-Wish (800.480.wisH, www.wisHgReateRpa. oRg) • 19tH AnnuAl WisH upon A stAr dinneR danCe and silent auCtion: may 17, 6-11 p.m., stRoudsmooR inn at teRRaview. foR ReseRvations Call 570.424.5081 By may 6.

Salvation Army of Wilkes-Barre (17 s. pennsylvania ave., wilkes-BaRRe, 570.824.8741) • spring fleA MArket AnD silent Auction: apRil 6, 8 a.m. uniCo national keystone CHapteR (dunmoRe) • cHArity pig roAst: April 13, 6-10 p.M., fioRelli’s (peCkville). $45 peR peRson.

Victims Resource Center (71 noRtH fRanklin st, 570.823.0765, www.vRCnepa.oRg) • 28tH AnnuAl gerAniuM sAle: orDers must Be plaCed By apRil 26. geRaniums will Be availaBle foR piCk-up/ deliveRy tHe week of may 7-10. pink oR Red geRaniums in 4inCH pots, $3.50 eaCH. volunteeRs of ameRiCa (25 n. RiveR st., wilkes-BaRRe, 570.825.5261) • 9tH AnnuAl celeBrity Dinner: April

puzzles

11, tHe woodlands inn and ResoRt (1073 HigHway 315,wilkes-BaRRe). $125 peR peRson. info: liz, 570.825.5261, ext. 8.

CHURCHES First Presbyterian Church of Clarks Summit (300 sCHool st., ClaRks summit, 570.586.6306, www.fpCCs.oRg) • finAl concert of tHe Arts At first pResByteRian CHuRCHfinal ConCeRt: apRil 7, 4 p.m. 300 sCHool stReet, ClaRks summit st. faustina kowalska’s CatHoliC CHuRCH • AnnuAl BAsket rAffle funDrAiser: apRil 14, dooRs 10:30 a.m., dRawing Begins at 1 p.m, st. stan’s gymnasium (west CHuRCH stReet, nantiCoke). tiCkets to Bid on tHe Baskets Cost $5 a Raffle tiCket, wHiCH Contains 25 individual tiCkets.

Unity of NEPA: A Spiritual Center (140 s. gRant st., wilkes-BaRRe) guest speakeR ann maRie aCaCio: apRil 7, 10 a.m. oneness Blessing witH eRnie pappa: apRil 8, 22, 7-9 p.m. $8.

last week

developing effeCtive teams: tRansfoRming teams into saCRed CiRCles of seRviCe weBinaR: apRil 10, 7-9 p.m. spiRitual liBeRation witH miCHael BeCkwitH: apRil 13, 6:30-9 p.m. tHe BRidge Class: apRil 17, 6:30-9 p.m.

Re-new unity woRksHop and lunCHeon: apRil 20, 9:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m. $30, BotH woRksHops; $20, one woRksHop. limited to 50 paRtiCpants; ReseRvations RequiRed.

WEEKENDER, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 3, 2013

agenda

EVENTS American Legion Mountain Post 781 (mountain top) 5tH annual flea maRket: may 5, 7 a.m.-5 p.m. vendoRs wanted. $10, undeR CoveR witH taBle; $5, in yaRd, BRing youR own taBle. to RegisteR Call 570.474.2161.

Catholic Youth Center • MArcH MADness funDrAiser: April 6, 6 p.m., BallRoom at moHegan sun at poCono downs, wilkes-BaRRe. foR tiCkets oR moRe infoRmation, please Call tHe CyC at 570.823.6121.

Chicory House and Folklore Society (www.folkloResoCiety.oRg,

SEE AGENDA, PAGE 30

27

DOWN 1 Atl. counterpart 2 Altar affirmative 3 Conger or moray 4 Wet cement mixture 5 Sort 6 Mrs. McKinley 7 Mad 8 Small 9 Liniment target 10 Stylish 11 Color quality 13 Beyond control 19 Frogs’ hangout 20 Witnessed 21 Proper partner?

22 “Beetle Bailey” dog 23 Carpenter or Black 25 Crazed 26 Threesome 27 Japanese wrestling 29 Study all night 31 Kreskin’s claim 33 Diacritical mark 34 Scents 36 Snare or tom-tom 37 Pack down tightly 38 Shades 39 Sea eagles 40 Show off your muscles 43 Eggs 44 Lingerie item 45 Midafternoon, on a sundial 46 Some small batteries

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ACROSS 1 Bakery buys 5 Youngster 8 Treaty 12 Australian city 14 Reverberate 15 Like spreadsheets, e.g.

16 Slender 17 Scepter 18 Each 20 Hybrid eating utensil 23 Entanglement 24 Bohemian 25 Refrigerator decorations 28 Humor 29 Gave a darn 30 Regret 32 Grieved 34 Intentions 35 Primary 36 Sag 37 “- & Louise” 40 To and 41 Emanation 42 Ivy League university 47 List of options 48 Catholic prayer 49 “Hey, you!”

50 Remiss 51 Je ne - quoi

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WEEKENDER,

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2013

Weekender Editor

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raising four daughters and one son with his wife, Camille, who he married in 1964 and still checks in with at least three times a day during his travels.

“Three times a day because I really very, very, very much love her and appreciate her,” Cosby emphasized.

“Mrs. Cosby and I talk about this often, and she believes the most important thing is integrity, respect, honesty. Love is there, you can love, but love needs work many times. This is

why a child is behaving the way it’s behaving when, in fact, you used to be that.”

ABNORMAL PUBLICITY t has been over two

I

decades since the final episode of his groundbreaking NBC hit “The Cosby Show” aired after eight successful seasons, but Cosby’s popularity has yet to peak as he continues to write best-sellers, his latest being “I Didn’t Ask to Be Born (But I’m Glad I Was),” and pack theaters, as he did four previous times at the F.M. Kirby Center for the Performing Arts, including twice in 2009.

He makes his one-night-only return to the downtown Wilkes-Barre venue Friday, April 5. He remembers the area fondly, as Wilkes University made him “an honorary pharmacist” in 2004 during the school’s 57th Annual Spring Commencement, a title he says he wears proudly.

“Every day!

Every day!” he enthused. “Now I must warn you, I’m homeopathic.”

This must have served him well, as Cosby continues to fly all over the country regularly and is booked through most of the year.

Talking to The Weekender from

“STORYTELLING, UNLIKE A QUICK TWO LINES AND THEN THE LAUGH, IS MAKING A GREAT SOUP. YOU BUILD ON THINGS. YOU PREPARE IN A GOURMET STYLE OR YOU PREPARE IN A DINER STYLE...AND THEY’RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADD SALT OR HOT SAUCE; I DO THAT. BUT I PUT IN THE FLAVORS, THE HERBS.... SO THE LAUGHS COME WITHIN THE SOUP.” -BILL COSBY

FAMILY TIME

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Bill Cosby: April 5, doors 7 p.m., show 8 p.m., F.M. Kirby Center for the Performing Arts (71 Public Square, Wilkes-Barre). $37-$125.

It has been over two decades since ‘The Cosby Show’ ended, but Bill Cosby hasn’t slowed down, finding new generations of fans through his best-selling books and live appearances.

29

orn in Philadelphia and currently living in New England, William Henry Cosby Jr.’s clean, relatable humor not only comes from his unique perspective on life, but his love for his family,

what she believes – loves needs work, it needs a consistency to it, which is perpetuated by reinforcing the strengths: integrity, respect, honesty. You add that with love, it’s going to work.”

A grandparent as well, Cosby notes that as his children grow older, they have moved from a “confused stun” when he brings them up in his act to an experienced understanding.

“Our children who have children are no longer negative about what I’ve said. They’re more or less really looking for more information because they see the truth, but they see it with the children they’re raising,” he pointed out.

“The statement or quote (is), ‘Experience is the best teacher,’ and then you have to follow it up with, ‘Well, if it is, I can only make so many mistakes parenting,’ mistakes in the fact that you will openly contest to people that you have no idea

Hawaii, he said that for the last 27 years, he flew in his own G4 to concerts, but when the plane became corrosive, he found a distinct advantage to traveling with his adoring public.

“I went back with the normal people because I’m abnormal.

27 years is interesting because of what they didn’t have 27 years ago. I don’t recall cell phones and the ability to take your picture and the ability to send a picture to about 100 to 150 relatives and friends, and I noticed that within the past two months, this is kind of great,” he acknowledged.

“If I have about 30 people as I’m sitting and waiting for the plane come up and take a picture with me – husband and wife, man by himself, woman by herself, high school kids, college kids, spring break people – and they send it to at least 100 people, that’s not bad, man.

“It’s good publicity because there I am with a normal person, an abnormal person with a normal person, and we’re smiling, and they send it and they comment on it. This is almost as good as having my own photo show.”

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hen asked if he considers himself a comedian or a storyteller, Bill Cosby’s answer is simple and clear.

“Yeah,” he responds dryly.

“There is no ‘or.’”

Indeed, there is no separation between the two for the 75-yearold funnyman, as evidenced by his memorable and awardwinning careers in both stand-up and television. Even when he is describing his routine before a performance, he can’t help but tell a story, which tends to lead into other stories.

After getting off the plane two hours before show time, Cosby said he heads straight to the venue, autographs three albums in his dressing room and anything else for the promoter, closes the door, and begins going over his material, which he refers to as “Yeah, right.”

“It’s called ‘Yeah, right’ because I’ve done this a number of times, but it’s never come out the way it was on paper… It keeps things very entertaining for me,” Cosby began in a phone interview with The Weekender last week.

“The other night, I appeared in Florida. I was in Sebring and I started a story, and then I would go into another story within that story. And then I did another one within that story, and then I decided, ‘Look, I’ve got to have some closure in these things,’ so I stopped in the middle of the third thing that was piled on top of the second and the first, and I went back to the first thing, which the people were very happy with because they wanted to know what happened.

“But then I cut that because I thought of something else and I made a run on that and finished it, and then I went back to the second story, which connected better to the ad-libs I was doing. Then I finished that up and I went back to the first one because I thought, ‘Order of the day is better,’ so I finished that and I went to the third one and I finished that up, and then I said to a person that I was pointing to, ‘What time is it?’ and sure enough, it was seven minutes before it would be an hour and a half.”

And like any good raconteur, the author, actor, producer, musician, and activist was prepared with a metaphor to

explain his creative process.

“Storytelling, unlike a quick two lines and then the laugh, is making a great soup. You build on things. You prepare in a gourmet style or you prepare in a diner style so that your customers taste, and they’re not allowed to add salt or hot sauce; I do that. But I put in the flavors, the herbs. The only thing I can’t do is the odor of something. So the laughs come within the soup,” Cosby said.

“That is, in itself, one of the most wonderful things, and one of the most wonderful forms in art. For instance, if you go to a play, you see actors, and these actors transform themselves into the characters, so it’s an actor’s interpretation of something.

“When you see them, you see them in their costumes, so the visual is there.

When I perform as a storyteller, you will hear, you will see this person – that’s Bill Cosby – transform himself in the same clothes, same face.

At one instant, he’s a father, and the next instant he’s a teenage boy, and the next instant he’s a father, then he’s a teenager, so that you are able to look and see that the magic of all of this even with your eyes and even with this man using almost the same voice, but not necessarily the same inflections and emotions.

You get from this one person a performance so that these people may very well, with your assistance, (find) meaning to go along with it.

“You may see yourself. You may see something…so when you hear what I’m doing, you might also respond… Here they are, people in their 80s, 40s, 20s…together understanding the story and going, ‘Oooooo.’ It’s wonderful.”

WEEKENDER, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 3, 2013

By Rich Howells

2013

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AGENDA, FROM PAGE 27 570.333.4007) • New eNglaNd CoNtra daNCe: april 6, 7 p.m., ChurCh of Christ uNitiNg (776 market st., kiNgstoN). $9.

Choral arts of luzerNe CouNty (www.ChoralartslC.org) • spriNg CoNCert/fifth seasoN CelebratioN: april 27, 7:30 p.m., first presbyteriaN ChurCh (97 s. fraNkliN st., wilkes-barre); april 28, 4 p.m., Christ lutheraN ChurCh (467 maiN st., CoNyNgham). $15, adults; $10, studeNts aNd seNiors.

Choral Society of Northeast Pennsylvania • rummage sale: april 6, 8 a.m.-NooN, abiNgtoN height high sChool (222 Noble road, Clarks summit).

• ChildreN aNd youth eNsembles midwiNter program: april 7, 3 p.m., st. luke’s episCopal ChurCh, sCraNtoN. $10, adults; 18 years aNd youNger, free; $2 disCouNt for seNiors, studeNts, laCkawaNNa library system Card holders, members of wVia, aNd members of the raymoNd hood room at the sCraNtoN Cultural CeNter.

The Commonwealth Medical College (525 piNe st., sCraNtoN, 570.504.7000, theCommoNwealthmediCal.Com) • obesity symposium: april 6. registratioN begiNs 7:30 a.m. with speakers to follow at 8.

Dietrich Theater (60 e. tioga street, tuNkhaNNoCk, 570.996.1500, www.dietriChtheater.

Com).

• spriNg 2013 film festiVal opeNiNg Night gala: april 5, 5:30 p.m. $35.

• spriNg 2013 film festiVal: april 5-8. $9, eVeNiNg (after 6 p.m.); $8, matiNee. • philadelphia bus trip to the barNes: april 11, bus departs 7 a.m., returNs approximately 10 p.m. $135 • tom kNight puppet show: april 17, 1:30 p.m.

• philadelphia bus trip to the barNes: april 11, departs 7 a.m. returNs 10 p.m. $135. kids Classes: • moVemeNt aNd storytelliNg for presChoolers: ages 4 aNd 5. series 2, april 3, 10, 17, 24, 10-10:45 a.m. iNtergeNeratioNal Classes: • QuiltiNg for eVeryoNe: “atlaNtiC star:” ages 13 aNd up. wedNesdays, through marCh 27, 6-7:30 p.m. $6 per Class, iNCludiNg materials. adult Classes: • kuNdaliNi yoga: ages 16 aNd up. 1011:30 a.m., series 3 april 27, may 4, 11, 18. $40, four Classes; $15, drop-iN. • eighth aNNual mothers day iNtertribal powwow: may 11, NooN-6 p.m., may 12, NooN-5 p.m., NoxeN fire Co. fouNds (stull road, NoxeN, wyomiNg CouNty). free. for more iNformatioN CoNtaCt Natalie “wisteria” at 570.947.2097 or Via email at wisteria18704@yahoo.Com. Everhart Museum (1901 mulberry st., sCraNtoN. 570.346.7186, geNeral.iNformatioN@ eVerhart-museum.org) • the greeN hour: absiNthe at the eVerhart: april 24, 7-9 p.m.

• “bats iN my belfry, diNgbats iN

yours?:” may 1, 6-8 p.m., JaCk’s drafthouse • stoker oN stoker: may 15, 6-8 p.m.

• steampuNk Jewelry: JuNe 5, 6-8 p.m. $25, museum members; $30, NoN-members. ages 16 aNd older. pre-registratioN reQuired.

The Greater Scranton Chamber of Commerce (222 mulberry st., sCraNtoN) • ladies Night at the CouNtry Club: april 3, 5-8 p.m., gleN oak CouNtry Club (250 oakford road, Clarks summit) • deVelop key aCtioNs to Create more meaNiNgful CoNVersatioNs: april 10, 8 a.m.

• leadership laCkawaNNa alumNi reuNioN: april 10, 5:30 p.m.

• employmeNt expo: april 11, 11 a.m. hazletoN fuNfest • 80s throwbaCk prom, hazletoN fuNfest fuNdraiser: april 27, Capriotti’s palazzo, mCadoo. . tiCkets aVailable at fuNfest, 20 w. broad street, or at metallo’s formal wear, 310 w. broad street, hazletoN. iNformatioN CaN also be fouNd at www.fuNfestpa.org or by CalliNg 570.455.1509.

Holistic Moms Network • “boostiNg ChildreN’s self esteem:” april 6, 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m., hoyt library (284 wyomiNg aVe., kiNgstoN). irem Clubhouse (64 ridgeway driVe, dallas) • health agiNg semiNar: miNdiNg the miNd: april 10, 2-3 p.m.

Jim thorpe eVeNts: • baCh aNd haNdel Chorale easter CoNCert: april 6, 3 p.m., st. mark’s episCopal ChurCh (21 raCe st., Jim thorpe). $18, adults; $15, seNiors aNd studeNts; free, ChildreN 10 aNd uNder.

Johnson College (3427 N. maiN aVe., sCraNtoN, 570.342.6404, JohNsoN.edu) • 21st aNNual golf tourNameNt: may 17, blue ridge trail golf Club, mouNtaiN top. iNfo: stephaNie orzalek, CoordiNator of iNstitutioNal adVaNCemeNt, 570.702.8908 or sorzalek@ JohNsoN.edu.

King’s College (133 North riVer st., wilkes-barre, 570.208.5957 or kiNgs.edu) • CaNtores Christi regis spriNg CoNCert: april 19-20, 7:30 p.m. J. Carroll mCCormiCk Campus miNistry CeNter. free. iNfo: 570.208.6044.

Lackawanna College (501 ViNe st., sCraNtoN, 1.877.346.3552, laCkawaNNa.edu) eNViroNmeNtal iNstitute (10 moffat dr., CoViNgtoN twp.)

• oN exhibit: a walk through Natures glory: through april 19.

• liVe NatiVe aNimals: april 3, 6:30-8 p.m. $5.

• amphibiaN walk: april 17, 6-8 p.m. $5. pre-registratioN reQuired.

• art iN Nature: Clay pot wreaths: april 20, 9 a.m.-NooN. $25. pre-registratioN reQuired.

• art opeNiNg: three artists from elmhurst: april 26, 5-7 p.m. ruNs through JuNe 3.

Lake-Lehman Last Knight 2013 Graduation Night Lock-in Vera bradley/CoaCh biNgo fuNd-

raiser: april 6, 1 p.m., doors at NooN. lake lehmaN high sChool (old route 115, lehmaN). $20, 20 games of biNgo. for adVaNCe tiCkets CoNtaCt amy, 570.239.0737.

Mid-Atlantic Region of the American Music Therapy Association • aNNual CoNfereNCe: april 4-6, hiltoN sCraNtoN CoNfereNCe CeNter. to register aNd see program offeriNgs Visit www.mar-amta.org.

Misericordia University (www.miseriCordia.edu, 570.674.6400; box offiCe, 674.6719, miseriCordia. edu) • adult learNer opeN house for expressway aCCelerated degree program: april 9, 4-7 p.m., room 405, buildiNg 4, lCCC (1333 s. prospeCt st., NaNtiCoke); april 10, 4-7 p.m., laCkawaNNa College boardroom (145 e. broad st., hazletoN); april 18, 4-6 p.m., laCkawaNNa College-hazletoN CeNter (145 e. broad st., hazletoN).

• “importaNCe of keepiNg reCords for libraries aNd NatioNal arChiVes” preseNtatioN: april 16, 4:30 p.m., mary kiNtz beVeViNo library.

• beyoNd harmoNy performaNCe:

Send your listings to WBWnews@ civitasmedia.com, 90 E. Market St., Wilkes-Barre, Pa., 18703, or fax to 570.831.7375. Deadline is Mondays at 2 p.m. Print listings occur up until three weeks from publication date. april 19, before the wilkes-barre/ sCraNtoN railriders game.

• easterN peNNsylVaNia philosophiCal assoCiatioN meetiNg: april 20, registratioN 8:30 a.m., sessioN beiNgs at 9:30, huNtziNger room 218, saNdy aNd marleNe iNsalaCo hall. $25; $10, studeNts with a Valid id.

• baCk mouNtaiN Chamber, busiNess & CommuNity expo aNd spriNg meetiNg of the baCk mouNtaiN historiCal assoCiatioN: april 17, expo 4-7 p.m., meetiNg 7-9 p.m. modified k9 • VoluNteer reCruitmeNt iNitiatiVe: april 6, 6:30 p.m., Valley dog (213 e. luzerNe aVe., larksVille). moNroe CouNty gardeN Club • meetiNg: april 10, 11:30 a.m.. moNroe CouNty CoNserVatioN distriCt eNViroNmeNtal eduCatioN CeNter (8050 ruNNiNg Valley rd., stroudsburg). free, members; $5, guests. mouNt aloysius College (7373 admiral peary highway, CressoN. 814.886.4131.)

• bieNNial studeNts of iNterpretiNg CoNfereNCe: april 13-14. $50. mouNtaiN graNge No. 567 • moNthly fleamarket: seCoNd saturday of eaCh moNth. 9 a.m.-2 p.m., mouNtaiN graNge hall (1632 w. 8th st., CarVertoN).

• aNNual spriNg luNCheoN aNd fuNdraiser: may 8, 11:30 a.m., shawNee iNN aNd golf resort (100 shawNee oN delaware lodge, shawNee). $28.

Nepa philharmoNiC • “aNN hamptoN Callaway siNgs the streisaNd soNgbook:” april 12, 8

p.m., f.m. kirby CeNter (publiC sQuare, wilkes-barre) aNd april 13, 8 p.m., sCraNtoN Cultural CeNter. $29, adults; $15, studeNts. tiCkets are aVailable by CalliNg 570.270.4444.

Nescopeck State Park (1137 hoNey hole rd., drums, 570.403.2006) • plaNt for CoNserVatioN: trees proteCt water Quality: april 17, 6-8 p.m. registratioN is reQuired by CalliNg 570.403.2006.

• fishiNg taCkle loaNer day: april 20, 9 a.m.-NooN. kids uNder 16 CaN borrow a fishiNg pole for use at lake fraNCes iN the morNiNg. a pole aNd limited taCkle is supplied for free, but briNgiNg your owN bait is a must. aN adult with a driVer’s liCeNse is Needed to sigN out eQuipmeNt. • guided bird walk: april 21, 8-10 a.m. registratioN is reQuired by CalliNg 570.403.2006.

• moVe it outside day guided hike: april 24, 6-7:30 p.m. registratioN is reQuired by CalliNg 570.403.2006.

• spriNg iNto aCtioN park CleaNup: april 27, 9 a.m.-NooN. registratioN is reQuired by CalliNg 570.403.2006.

Northern Tier Symphony Orchestra (570.289.1090, NortherNtiersymphoNy@yahoo.Com, NortherNtiersymphoNy.org) • performaNCes: april 6, 8 p.m., hoNesdale high sChool (459 terraCe st., hoNesdale); april 13, 8 p.m., tuNkhaNNoCk middle sChool (200 fraNkliN aVe., tuNkhaNNoCk). $8, adult iN adVaNCe; $4, studeNt iN adVaNCe; $9, adult at the door; $5, studeNt at the door.

The Osterhout Free Library (71 s. fraNkliN st., wilkes-barre, www.osterhout.iNfo, 570.821.1959) • dowNtoN abbey CelebratioN: april 16, 6-8 p.m.

• mark piazza, extremely meNtal: april 17, 7 p.m.

• “for me, for you, for later” moNey workshop: april 25, 6-7 p.m.

• how to start a NoN-profit” april 8, 12:15-12:45 p.m.

• market researCh with bill CorCoraN: april 15, 12:15-12:45 p.m.

• startiNg a busiNess: april 22, 12:1512:45 p.m.

• 29th aNNual george ralstoN golf ClassiC hosted by the rotary Club of wilkes-barre: april 26, mill raCe golf Course, beNtoN. registratioN begiNs 11 a.m., shotguN start at NooN. $100 per persoN. to register, be a spoNsor, or doNate a prize, CoNtaCt Christopher kelly at 570.823.0156, ext. 218 or Ckelly@osterhout.lib.pa.us.

Penn State Wilkes-Barre (rte. 115, lehmaN, 570.675.2171, wb.psu.edu) • spriNg film aNd disCussioN series – “the uNCoNQuerable humaN spirit: fiVe degrees of diVersity:” thursdays through april 18, 7 p.m., r/C wilkesbarre moVies 14 (24 e. NorthamptoN st., wilkes-barre) frieNds of salt spriNgs park (po box 541, moNtrose. 570.967.7275, iNfo@frieNdsofsaltspriNgspark.org.)

• ChaiNsaw day: april 13, 9 a.m. preregister: 570.967.7275.

• trail CleaN up day: april 20, 11 a.m. pre-register: 570.967.7275.

• CyCle & reCyCle - Celebrate earth day: april 21, 12:30-5 p.m. raiN date, april 28.

• egg huNt: april 27, 1-4 p.m.

Salvation Army • aNNual awards diNNer: may 16, 5:30 p.m., best westerN geNetti hotel aNd CoNVeNtioN CeNter (77 east market street, wilkes-barre). reserVatioNs

by CoNtaCtiNg lieuteNaNt sharoN tressler at the salVatioN army at sharoN.tressler@use.salVatioNarmy. org or 570.824.8741. sCraNtoN Cultural CeNter (420 N. washiNgtoN aVe., sCraNtoN, 570.346.7369, sCraNtoNCulturalCeNter.org) • “the View” with a sCraNtoN attitude: april 5, 7 p.m., CoCktail hour at 6. $6.

Sons of the American Legion Post 781 (ChurCh rd. mouNtaiN top, 570.474.2161, alpost781.org) • 5th aNNual flea market: may 5, 7 a.m.-5 p.m. $10 uNder CoVer with table or $5 iN yard, byot. registratioN by phoNe, 570.474.2161.

The University of Scranton (800 liNdeN st., sCraNtoN, 570.941.7400, sCraNtoN.edu) • alumNi day of serViCe, CleaN-up of laCkawaNNa riVer heritage trail: april 13, 10 a.m. to VoluNteer Call 570.941.4263.

• hill seCtioN street sweep aNd alumNi day of serViCe: april 14 1 p.m. to VoluNteer Call 570.941.4263.

• performaNCe musiC preseNts “iN CoNCert” featuriNg the uNiVersity of sCraNtoN siNgers with the maNhattaN sChool of musiC brass orChestra: april 7, 7:30 p.m., houlihaN mCleaN CeNter.

• “federal aNd iNterNatioNal guN CoNtrol: aN historiCal perspeCtiVe” leCture: april 8, 4:30 p.m., rose room, breNNaN hall.

• browN bag luNCh: “eQual pay day” a publiC awareNess eVeNt to illustrate the gap betweeN meN’s aNd womeN’s wages: april 9, 11:45 a.m., mCdoNNell room, deNaples CeNter.

Waverly Community House (1115 N. abiNgtoN rd., waVerly, waVerlyComm.org) • 21st aNNual house, gardeN aNd gift show: april 27, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; april 28, 11 a.m.-4 p.m.

• begiNNer’s italiaN: eight weeks begiNNiNg april 9, 7-8 p.m. wayNe CouNty builders assoCiatioN (www.wayNeCouNtybuilders.Com ) • home aNd gardeN festiVal: april 27, 9 a.m.-5 p.m.; april 28, 9 a.m.-4 p.m., ladore Camp retreat aNd CoNfereNCe CeNter (off owego turNpike, waymart). free to the publiC. • lego buildiNg CoNtest: april 27 at the wbCa home aNd gardeN festiVal, ladore lodge Camp retreat aNd CoNfereNCe CeNter (waymart). pre-registratioN reQuired, 40 spots aVailable, by april 1.

(570.829.1341 for details/meetiNg ExPANDED LiSTiNGS AT THEWEEKENDER.COM. W

Infinite Improbability

Geek Culture & more

GadGets, Gizmos, & more

rich Howells | Weekender Editor

Nick delorenzo | Special to the Weekender

MiiPC makes computing child’s play – and child safe Parents with small children face an interesting set of problems when it comes to technology: How do you allow your child the use of a computer without constantly worrying what he or she is getting into?

Most children are perfectly capable of getting a computer connected to a Wi-Fi network, and parental controls built into existing PCs are either overly complex, too easy to bypass, or aren’t flexible enough to be practical.

Almost as important: How do you allow that child to use devices that are sometimes fragile or cost hundreds or even thousands of dollars without worrying that it’s going to be broken?

A startup company called “ZeroDesktop” aims to solve these problems with its $99 MiiPC. MiiPC is a mini-computer based on Google’s Android operating system and can be connected to either a computer monitor or a regular TV. It includes all of the basic functionality you’d expect from a computer – you can browse the web, create and edit files, watch movies, or play games.

What’s different about MiiPC is that it’s been designed from the ground up to provide a safe computing environment for children. Each child has a separate account that she can log into, and controls can be set on a case-by-case basis for what websites, programs, and activities she can use, even down to what time she’s allowed to use the device.

Parents have the ability to remotely monitor what’s going on with the MiiPC: whether or not the device is on, who’s using it, who recently used it, and what programs have

been used, via an Android or iPhone app or over the web. They also can remotely change permissions on the MiiPC to allow or remove access to programs or websites. Time limits can be set up for individual websites as well as apps, so if your child has been playing “Angry Birds” for the past four hours instead of doing homework, you can cut them off.

MiiPC also has full access to the Google Play app store, so just about ANY Android app can be added to the MiiPC. The Android OS is a bit more tamper-proof than a typical PC environment, and because each child has his own account, the amount of trouble he can cause is limited.

While there are a lot of other cheap Android-based devices, and relatively cheap PCs out there, I don’t think I’ve seen anything that integrates the “family-friendly” features offered by the MiiPC nearly as well.

And frankly, the target audience could just as easily constitute adults and the elderly. I know a lot of people who would love to play “Angry Birds” on their TV, or who want their parents to surf the web, without having to fix their computer every time they download spyware.

The MiiPC is powerful enough to handle either of those tasks without a problem.

The MiiPC will cost $99 and should be available by September 2013.

-Nick DeLorenzo is director of interactive and new media for The Times Leader. E-mail him at ndelorenzo@timesleader.com.

Photo by Jason Riedmiller This particular StorySlam tale was one to encourages others to be whoever they want to be, without hesitation.

ing random show tunes. It didn’t make sense then, and it doesn’t make sense now. I joined anyway and did many of these terrible “shows” until one time they were performing a song from “The Phantom of the Opera.” I thought this was the coolest thing in the world because I loved musicals (another reason why nobody liked me) and I thought the Phantom looked badass.

He didn’t have any lines; all he had to do was come out while Christine was singing, do an evil laugh, drape his cape over his face, and leave the stage. It was very, very hard for me to talk to anyone, but I went right up to the music teacher and begged her for this part.

She gave it to the richest, bestlooking kid in the class who was already a basketball star instead, a guy who could never understand the Phantom’s secret pain and inner torment like I could! For the first time in my life, I stood up for myself and quit Show Choir, but it didn’t make me feel any better.

The only one I could really identify with in that school was this guy named John, who was the bus driver, the janitor, a music teacher, and the piano player for all the “shows.” Again, where was all that tuition money going that this one guy had to take on so much? Our nasty old principal was always so mean to him, so we got along great.

The next year, he was our music teacher and was in charge of doing a live Nativity scene outside in the parking lot in December. This seemed like a really poor idea until he came up to me after class and asked me to play Joseph. I didn’t have any lines – it was just me, Mary, and a baby standing out in the freezing cold while someone narrated the story, but the fact that he asked me to play any part in anything meant so much to me.

The most popular girl in school was playing Mary; she would not

look at me in my stupid spirit gum beard the entire time. Afterward, I walked up to her and mustered up the courage to say, “Nice job.” She went, “Humph!” and walked away from me.

Thankfully, my parents let me choose where I wanted to go to high school, so of course I chose West Side because it was my chance to start over. No one knew me there, so I could be the person I always wanted to be. I immediately started taking theater classes and loved getting up in front of people and making them laugh every day. Granted, I still had to be a character to do that, but at least when I got offstage, I could be myself around my close friends.

My senior year, I earned the lead role of Henry Higgins in “My Fair Lady.” I dived into this role – I talked with a British accent every day and read the play and watched the movie over and over. That first night, I went out there and I gave it my all – the show went great, we got a standing ovation, and everyone talked about it for weeks after. I felt like I had finally made it, like I was the person I was always striving to be, at least vicariously through this character.

I went out the back door to greet people in the hallway afterward and there he was; John was just standing there, smiling. I hadn’t seen him in four or five years, but he knew exactly who I was, except now I could grow my own facial hair. He said, “Good job,” and of course I didn’t say, “Humph!” and walk away. I replied, “Thank you,” but I meant that in more ways than one.

And I said it, without accent, in my own voice.

-Rich Howells is a lifelong Marvel Comics collector, wannabe Jedi master, and cult film fan. E-mail him at rhowells@theweekender.com.

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The Scranton StorySlam, a unique storytelling competition introduced to our community last year by Madeline Zoë McNichols and her mother, Pamela McNichols, has been a breath of fresh air in an area where people often (unjustifiably) complain that there is nothing to do around here.

It has been written about many times in this publication, including last week, so I won’t bore you with background details. Instead, I’d like to say that I felt honored and privileged to be asked to participate in the last StorySlam at Haggerty’s Pub (421 N. Main Ave., Scranton), where I had five minutes to relate my own story of growing up in West Side, and I wholeheartedly encourage you to attend the next event if you can.

All my fellow storytellers were excellent, so while I did not win, I did get a lot of people recalling their Catholic school days (not fondly, I might add). Since my story is about a reserved little nerd and this column is about all things nerdy, I’d thought I’d share a shortened version of my true tale below and hopefully encourage others to be the dorks they want to be. Enjoy.

Those who know me now probably don’t believe this, but I was once a really quiet kid.

I never wanted to be, but when you go to private school, they don’t exactly encourage you to be yourself. I was picked on pretty badly at St. Patrick’s School, and I tried anything to get those kids to like me. I begged my parents to buy me an expensive pair of Nike sneakers so I could fit in; that didn’t work.

I tried being the super nice guy to everyone, loaning out pencils like a supply shop, but that got me nowhere. Then I thought, “Maybe if I can entertain people and make them laugh, then they would like me.”

Spoiler warning: it didn’t work, but I had a hell of a time trying. I would do impressions and make up voices and characters – anything to not have to be myself. I wanted to be in theater so badly. They always tell parents that your kids will get a much better education in private schools over the public system, but we had outdated books, clunky computers with green screens that could barely run “Oregon Trail,” and most importantly, no music, theater, or other art programs whatsoever. If you weren’t a sports star, apparently you didn’t matter. Where did all that tuition money go?

What they did offer was “Show Choir,” which was basically a bunch of kids standing on bleachers sing-

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MiiPC allows parents to give their kids technological access worry-free.

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A story of nerdy triumph

WEEKENDER, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 3, 2013

tech talk

ralphie report

starstruck

EntErtainmEnt rEport

ralphie aversa | Special to the Weekender

A new girl group is in town There hasn’t been a girl group to take over the United States since a void was left by the Pussycat Dolls and Danity Kane. UK quartet Little Mix is looking to change that.

“I do find it really strange,” responded singer Jesy Nelson to the idea that there hasn’t been a popular girl band in the States since the aforementioned groups. “Yanno what, it’s time to change it up. Little Mix is here!”

Nelson’s comment elicited laughter from her bandmates. The girls were in a great mood as they walked the red carpet at their performance with J-14 Magazine inside the Hard Rock Café in Times Square. Little Mix’s debut single “Wings” just cracked the Top 40 on the Billboard Pop Songs chart this month.

“We just feel incredibly lucky,” said Perrie Edwards who, by the way, is romantically linked to One Direction’s Zayn Malik. “We didn’t know what the response was going to be like, and so far so good.”

“Wings” will serve as the first single from the band’s album “DNA,” which will be released in the U.S. this May. The girls wouldn’t reveal if the American version would feature any new collaborations with artists from the States. Jade Thirlwall did divulge some advice received from the 1D fellas about making the media rounds across the pond.

“We did obviously ask them and they just said, ‘The main thing is to be yourself and just be confident with everything, and believe in yourself,’” she recalled. “And we believe in us, so hopefully it all goes well.”

Little Mix won “The X-Factor” overseas back in 2011. The singers are signed to Simon Cowell’s SYCO Music and their music is distributed in the States by Columbia Records, which is also the U.S. home for One Direction and Olly Murs.

BOYZ II MEN’S STOCKMAN CALLS ‘PACKAGE’ TOUR REACTION ‘CRAZY’ Shawn Stockman admits that when plans were finalized for “The Package” tour, he didn’t know what to expect.

“Donnie (Wahlberg) and me had been talking about it for a long time, as far as putting it together,” Stockman told “The Ralphie Show” of the summer tour, which features the Philly singers along with New Kids on The Block and 98 Degrees. “Once it was released, I was nervous.”

No one involved with the tour has any reason to be nervous now, unless they’re uncomfortable with big crowds. Dates sold out quickly, and second shows along with new venues were quickly added to an itinerary that has swelled to over 30 performances.

“It’s exciting,” Stockman noted.

“I really can’t wait. It’s something that we’ve been wanting to do for a long time.”

“The Package” tour kicks off with three sold-out shows this May at Mohegan Sun Arena in Uncasville, CT.

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Had an encounter with someone famous? If so, the Weekender wants your picture for our Starstruck.

It doesn’t matter if it happened five months ago or five years ago. Send us your photo, your name, hometown, the celebrity you met, and when and where you met them, and we’ll run one photo here each week. E-mail high resolutin JPEGs to weekender@theweekender.com or send your photos to Starstruck, c/o The Weekender, 1 N. Main St., Wilkes-Barre, PA, 18703.

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Courtesy Photo Shawn Stockman of Boyz II Men was shocked by fans’ reaction to ‘The Package’ tour.

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securely Fashioned Yes, no, and where to go

erin rovin | Weekender Correspondent

Organization dressed for success

MUSIC ON THE MENU If you have a car you’d like featured in Motorhead, email a picture and some details with your name and hometown to:

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The 14th Annual Lackawanna Dress for Success fashion show and luncheon was held at the Lackawanna Radisson Hotel in downtown Scranton on March 20.

This amazing organization has dressed an astonishing 5,000+ women for jobs and career interviews since 1999.

The Lackawanna Dress for Success fashion show opened up with an emotional and inspiring speech from keynote speaker Lori Wolf, who was also a client of Dress for Success. She overcame some pretty intense health and family challenges and graciously shared her story with the help of Dress for Success.

The show was emceed by Laurie Cadden of Laurie Cadden Enterprises, LLC, who told us a bit about the organization that provides suits for disadvantaged women returning or entering the workforce; it has dressed more than 650,000 women in more than 125 cities worldwide.

Raffle tables lined the halls outside of the ballroom with more than 35 vendors for over 400 guests to purchase tickets for their chance to win some incredible prizes.

After the initial speeches and greetings, the fashion show was underway with some spring trends from local stores like Hansel & Gretel, Pierre’s Boutique, Suburban Casuals, and White House Black Market.

Presenting sponsors for this year’s fashion show were the evergenerous Pennstar Bank; Gertrude Hawk Chocolates; Suma & lezzi, Inc.; Knowles Associates; McGrail Merkel; Quinn & Associates P.C.; and Pennsylvania Power & Light.

The beautiful models, who

ranged from school kids to the mayor’s wife, Donna Doherty, had their hair and makeup done by the pros at Alexander’s Salon and Spa. My “Best Dressed Guest” award goes to Scranton mayoral candidate Elizabeth Randol, who rocked a high waist hounds-tooth pencil skirt lightened up with a lavender scarf.

Feeling inspired and want to donate to the Lackawanna branch of Dress for Success?

They are always looking for all sizes, especially plus-sized suits or separates less than three years old; black, khaki or solid color pants; blouses and tops; gently worn shoes; handbags and jewelry; and office and storage supplies. Donations are accepted at their Scranton boutique (431 N. 7th Ave. Suite B) on Tuesdays from 9 a.m.-4 p.m.

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-Erin Rovin has been working in the entertainment industry for 10 years and writes for various national gossip publications. She can be reached at erinrovin@ gmail.com.

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Whatever you do…

Be sure to visit one of the local clothing boutiques from the fashion show: Pierre’s Fine Clothing and Accessories (412 Spruce St., Scranton), Hansel & Gretel Children’s Boutique (99 Main Street, Dickson City), White House Black Market (Shoppes at Montage).

Donate your items to Dress for Success Lackawanna on Tuesdays between 9 a.m.- 4 p.m. at 431 N. 7th Ave. Suite B, Scranton, or make a monetary donation at dressforsuccess.org/affiliate. aspx?pageid=1&sisid=34.

AND PLENTY

MORE

Organizers and volunteers for Dress for Success put on another great fashion show this year.

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By Karyn Montigney

Weekender Intern

When talking with Jeff Boris, executive director of the First Friday Auction, during a short interview with The Weekender, it was clear just how much First Friday helps the arts of Scranton flourish. Each month, the Scranton community gathers together to display and celebrate the creativity of its artists.

The First Friday Auction is held each year and collects donations to fund First Friday events year round. This year will be the fourth annual auction and will take place at the Scranton Cultural Center (420 N. Washington Ave., Scranton), a place that Boris feels is a great building to display the community’s art in.

“Highlighting the artists and the Cultural Center makes it a unique event,” Boris said.

“The building itself is very historic, so it’s nice to have the auction in there. We get all the people there for the auction, and all the different artists have their art there.

It makes a nice impact and reflects nicely on what Scranton has to offer.”

Each month, multiple venues, organizations, sponsors, donors, and artists get together to celebrate the unique diversity that Scranton has to offer. This celebration keeps a sense of unity within the city and shows the amount of pride that people have for their community.

“Art is just a way to communicate ideas. Scranton itself is filled with ideas, and a lot of times, it’s hard to get those ideas out there,” Boris explained.

“Art is a way to put ideas out there, especially if they are very tough ideas: ideas that can’t be

Recycled art benefits conservancy

By Karyn Montigney Weekender Intern

First Friday Auction: April 12, 6 p.m., Scranton Cultural Center (420 N. Washington Ave., Scranton).

passed on in words.”

This year’s First Friday Auction will take place on April 12 from 6-9 p.m. on the second floor of the Scranton Cultural Center. Over fifty local artists will be displaying and auctioning off their creations with most of the money collected going toward the First Friday fund.

There will also be a silent auction with items donated by the community and sponsors of First Friday, as well as a wine pool and musical entertainment by the Coal Town Rounders.

“We do have a lot of great sponsors, and I think the auction itself and First Friday help to highlight the way that the community supports Scranton,” added Boris.

“It’s the community that comes out and puts their best foot forward, especially at the auction.

The people are really into making Scranton worth it.”

Between over 50 pieces of art, the silent auction, and the wine pool, Boris said there is something for everyone at this event, no matter what their age is.

“At some point during the auction, you should walk away with something. If you walk away empty handed, I would be surprised.

“First Friday itself, I think, helps as a way for the arts to become a little more visible in the area.”

Additional information about First Friday Scranton and the art auction can be found at firstfridayscranton.com.

Courtesy Photos Allison LaRussa’s art will be featured at the First Friday event, with one sculpture utilizing broken cell phones.

O’Connor said.

“A part of our mission is to be involved with community, and we’ve just been approached so many times to do a benefit. A lot of our organizations can be spotlighted through art, so it works really well in our location.”

The night of revived art will feature artwork from five local artists, including a sculpture made out of broken cell phones

by Allison LaRussa. Along with selling artwork, The Vintage will have a basket raffle to col-

Revived! Lost, Found, and Reinvented Objects of Art: April 5, 6 p.m., The Vintage Theater (326 Spruce St., Scranton). Donations accepted.

lect additional funds to donate to the LVC. “We usually get between 200 and 400 people in the door. A lot of times it’s new people, but we definitely have regulars that come in. It just helps to get new people in to see our space and see what we’re all about. It gets artists shown, and it gets the cafe business,” O’Connor added.

In addition to hosting a night of revived art projects, The Vintage will be having a second fundraising night for the Lackawanna Valley Conservancy.

On Saturday, March 30, they will be hosting a benefit concert featuring Ed Cuozzo of A Social State, Katie Kelly, and Ed Zaleski. The show will start at 8 p.m., and a donation of $5 will be taken at the door.

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Courtesy Photo The First Friday Auction is a collection of works from members of the Scranton community, such as this piece by Maria Grzybowski.

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First Friday is certainly not something that is new to The Vintage Theater. It is a night of displaying everything that the theater celebrates, including art and music. In the past, the Vintage has hosted everything from traditional painting shows to photography shows.

“First Friday pretty much involves everything we do at The Vintage,” said owner Theresa O’Connor. “We’ll have a musician playing in the background.

It brings what we do all month together in one day.”

For this month’s First Friday, The Vintage has decided to host a night of recycled art projects.

Five artists will be competing head-to-head to see who has come up with the best piece of collaborative art. The only challenge is that their artwork must consist of at least 75 percent recycled materials that would normally be discarded if they didn’t have any other use. The art will be displayed throughout the entire month of April.

After being approached by the Lackawanna Valley Conservancy to do a fundraiser for the organization, The Vintage has decided to donate half of the proceeds collected from any recycled art that is sold to the LVC. In partnership with The Vintage, the Morning Glory Cafe has also decided to donate to the LVC. They will be giving 10 percent of their sales to the LVC throughout the month of April as long as people bring their own coffee cup to fill.

“We actually do a lot of benefit shows working with nonprofit organizations in the area,”

WEEKENDER, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 3, 2013

Auction keeps the arts in Scranton

By Sara Pokorny

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“Pennsylvania From Above,” Opening reception April 6, 5-8 p.m. Runs April 6 to June 2. Pauly Friedman Art Gallery (Misericordia University, 570.674.6250, misericordia.edu/art). Gallery Hours: Mon. closed, Tue.-Thurs. 10 a.m.-8 p.m., Fri. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Sat.-Sun. 1-5 p.m.

Power point lectures: April 11, 2:30 and 6:30 p.m., Huntzinger Room 218 of Sandy and Marlene Insalaco Hall.

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Courtesy Photos Peter Stern’s ‘Pennsylvania From Above’ gives others a look at the area as they may have never seen it before.

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photographing the coal region because of the way it struck him visually.

“It’s a harsh and rugged and disfigured landscape, but holds so much beauty and complexity as well.”

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A bird’s eye view is best, and noted photographer Peter Stern has certainly captured such a concept.

“Pennsylvania From Above” is a 40-piece exhibit that comes to Misericordia University April 6 and runs through June 2.

The photographs capture obvious images from above, such as farms and towns, but some also depict not oft seen areas, like quarries and coal mining spots. Such areas where the earth has been altered are ideal for Stern.

“The elements of the earth – the coal, the shale, granite, and clay – have been removed from their secrecy within the earth and laid forth in aesthetic patterns to be seen from the air.

These artistic elements then become palettes of color and texture to explore and construct into subject matter compositions,” he described.

The need to view things from above began in 2003 when Stern started to fly ultralight airplanes, giving him access to a view that astounded him.

“Flying gives me a very unique view on the earth and has allowed me to create my own niche within the field of photography,” he noted.

Stern flies alone, as he flies low and in high winds or over hostile terrain. He said he would never want to risk another life while seeking out a photo.

Stern’s work has been displayed at the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum. His home airport is in Stewartstown, and he began

WEEKENDER, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 3, 2013

The view ‘From Above’

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speak and see POETIC Converge Gallery (140 West Fourth st., Williamsport, 570.447.5778, convergegallery.com) • A Night of SpokeN word with kyle the unnecessary: april 12, 7-9 p.m.

Dietrich Theater (60 e. tiogA St., tuNkhANNock: 570.996.1500) • creAtive chArActerS from pAper to puppets: ages 5-12. april 9, 16, 23, 30, may 7, 4-5 p.m.

Everhart Museum (1901 mulberry st., scranton, pa, 570.346.7186, WWW.everhart-museum. org) • everhArt reAdS Book cluB: April 18, “drAculA;” mAy 16, “the giAour;” JuNe 20, vampires in the lemon grove. to register call 570.346.7186.

King’s College (133 North river St., wilkeS-BArre, 570.208.5957 or kiNgS.edu) • cAmpioN literAry Society opeN reAding: april 10, 7 p.m., regina court. inFo: 570.208.5900, ext. 5487.

The Osterhout Free Library (71 S. frANkliN St., wilkeS-BArre, www. osterhout.inFo, 570.821.1959) •reAdiNg ANd SigNiNg By Author JAck duNN: April 9, 7 p.m.

• SocrAteS cAfe diScuSSioN group: april 11, 6:30-8 p.m.

• frANkliN Street SleuthS: April 18, 6:30 p.m.

VISUAL AFA Gallery (514 lAckAwANNA Ave., ScrANtoN: 570.969.1040 or artistsForart.org) gallery hours thurs.-sat., 12-5 p.m.

• keyStoNe college SeNior exhiBitioN: april 4-27. opening reception april 4, 6-9 p.m.

• time ANd lANdScApe By kAthe frANtz: april 4-27. opening reception april 5, 6-9 p.m.

ArtWorks Gallery (502 lAckAwANNA Ave., ScrANtoN. 570.207.1815, ArtworkSNepA.com) gallery hours: tues.-Fri., 11 a.m.-5 p.m., sat., noon-3 p.m., or by appointment.

• keyStoNe college SeNior exhiBitioN: april 4-27. opening reception april 4, 6-9 p.m.

Everhart Museum (1901 mulberry st., scranton, pa, 570.346.7186, WWW.everhart-museum. org) AdmiSSioN $5 AdultS; $3 StudeNtS/SeNiorS; $2 childreN 6-12; memBerS free.

• “the Blood iS the life: vAmpireS iN Art & NAture:” through July 2.

• “whAt’S iN the cloud? BAtS oN the AtlANtic coASt:” oN diSplAy through

Send your listings to WBWnews@civitasmedia.com, 90 E. Market St., Wilkes-Barre, Pa., 18703, or fax to 570.831.7375.

Deadline is Mondays at 2 p.m.

Print listings occur up until three weeks from publication date.

July 2.

• vAmpireS At the AfA gAllery, ShowiNg of “the huNger,” mAy 22, 6-8 p.m. AgeS 18 ANd up.

• dArk ShAdowS: Silhouette workShop: mAy 29-6-8 p.m. $25, muSeum memBerS; $30, NoN-memBerS. preregiStrAtioN required.

The Linder Gallery at Keystone College (570.945.8335, keyStoNe.edu/liNdergallery) • “kelleSimoNe wAitS: ANtitheSiS:” through April 28. tAlk By wAitS mArch 25, 9:45 A.m., BrookS theAtre.

Marquis Art & Frame (122 S. mAiN St., wilkeS-BArre, 570.823.0518) • “three ArtiStS: three yeArS lAter,” feAturiNg the workS of ryAN hNAy, mArguerite i. fuller, ANd Skip SeNSbach. through april 27.

• “the tv Show:” April 5-mAy 1. opeNiNg reception april 5, 6-8:30 p.m.

New Visions Studio & Gallery (201 vine st., scranton, WWW.neWviSioNStudio.com, 570.878.3970) gallery hours: tues.-sun., noon-6 p.m.

ANd By AppoiNtmeNt. • “uNder the SeA:” April 5-26. opeNiNg reception april 5, 6-10 p.m.

Pauly Friedman Art Gallery (miSericordiA uNiverSity, 570.674.6250, miSericordiA.edu/Art) gAllery hourS: moN. cloSed, tue.thurs. 10 a.m.-8 p.m., Fri. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., sat.-sun. 1-5 p.m.

• “receNt lANdScApeS,” A thomAS stapleton exhibit: opening reception April 6, 5-8 p.m. ruNS April 6 to JuNe 7.

Schulman Gallery (2Nd floor of lccc cAmpuS ceNter, 1333 S. proSpect St., NANticoke, www.luzerNe.edu/SchulmANgAllery, 570.740.0727) gallery hours: mon.-Fri., 9 a.m.-5 p.m.

• A collectioN of two mASterS, photogrAphy By michAel molNAr ANd SAm cramer: april 5-may 2.

Weinberg Memorial Library (university oF scranton) • “peNmeN, ArtiStS ANd educAtorS: 125 yeArS of thezANer-BloSer peNmANShip compANy:” through April 14.

• eArth week eNviroNmeNtAl Art Show: april 18-25 • “imAgiNAtioN ANd SpirituAlity: puBlic sculpture on the university oF scrantoN commoNS:” opeNiNg receptioN april 5, 6 p.m. through may 10.

Widmann Gallery (locAted iN kiNg’S college’S SheehyFarmer campus center betWeen north frANkliN ANd North mAiN StreetS, wilkeS-BArre, 570.208.5900, ext. 5328) gallery hours: mon. through Fri. 9 A.m. to 4:30 p.m., SAt. ANd SuN. AS ArrANged. free ANd opeN to the puBlic.

• 25th ANNuAl kiNg’S StudeNt exhiBition: april 15-may 4. opening reception april 17, 6-8 p.m.

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THIS WEEK SPECIAL GUEST

After a few nights on the town, the guy I was dating, Adam, had invited me over his place to watch movies. I have been in my fair share of bachelor pads, but this one should have come with a warning label. In addition to the house being a filthy mess, his fridge was completely empty except for a bottle of expired ranch dressing and some cheap beer.

This should have been my red alert signal to bail, but my maternal instincts went into overdrive. I wanted to help. He drifted to sleep mid-movie, so I decided to surprise him. I went to the grocery store and bought a food order for the house. Then, being the Susie Homemaker that I am, I went back to his apartment and threw dinner in the oven. I straightened up the house while it was cooking. The aroma of dinner in the air woke him from his slumber. He devoured the food and said it was a nice change from the Ramen Noodles and hot sauce he was accustomed to eating.

He picked up a pile of bills that were scattered about the table. As he turned, an ultrasound picture fell to the floor. I asked if he had a child because he had never brought this up before. He said, “No,” it was his cousin’s baby, and he quickly put it in a drawer.

Adam started getting used to having someone mother him.

One night, he called and said his friends took off and he needed a ride home. The week after that, he needed gas money. The week

after that, the house was filthy again and he asked if I could help clean up because his mom was coming over and wanted the place presentable.

The next night, I realized I had left my phone at his house.

I had met his mom a few times before, so I knew it wouldn’t be awkward if I stopped quickly to pick it up. I knocked on the door and a pregnant girl answered. I assumed it was his cousin; perhaps she was joining his mom for dinner? I was wrong.

She asked who I was. I apologized for interrupting the evening. I told her I was Adam’s girlfriend and just needed to get my phone. Her eyes glared, and like a grizzly bear, she growled that she was also his girlfriend – his very pregnant girlfriend.

Apparently, I had confirmed her suspicions of infidelity. The house was uncharacteristically clean and had food in it. She hoped this was a sign that he was making a lifestyle change and growing up because of his oncoming fatherhood, but she should have known better.

Adam came strolling in from the other room and his face went pale when he saw us talking. I told him I would be picking up my phone and deleting him from it. I left and never looked back. I don’t know whatever happened with the baby’s mother. I hope for her sake that her maternal instincts are directed at the new baby and not Adam.

MELISSA KRAHNKE AND PLENTY

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No need to baby a full-grown man as Melissa found out focus those instincts on an actual child.

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Awards Ceremony: Wednesday, April 24, Breaker’s Bar inside the Mohegan Sun Casino

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New martial arts studio offers health, peace, and a new culture

By Sara Pokorny

Weekender Staff Writer Martial arts are often portrayed through aggressive moves and insane-looking fights, a way to skillfully beat the other guy down.

At Wudang Swordsmen Academy, all clichéd notions are cast aside, as the teachings of the brand new Wilkes-Barre school fall more in line with peace, health, and selfprotection and preservation.

“It’s definitely unique as far as martial arts goes,” said sole instructor Xia Chongyi. “Everything is about being gentle and supple in a martial situation, not being stronger, bigger, faster.”

The Wudang Swordsmen Academy is the first officially recognized brick and mortar Western school of its kind, and through it, students can learn traditional Wudang Daoist internal martial arts as well as the ways of health and longevity.

Wudang refers to a mountain region in South-Central China’s Hubei province, where Daoism and martial arts intertwine. The mountain range harbors Daoists, doctors, martial artists, philosophers, and scholars, and the martial arts practiced there are also of a wide range, allowing students to choose individualized paths.

The Wudang studio reflects the range, a place Chongyi is very familiar with. There is an altar from China inside as well as rich reds and grays that Chongyi said are a strong theme within Wudang.

The atmosphere is one of serenity,

concentration, and a willingness to accommodate any individual.

Though “swordsmen” is part of the school’s moniker, it doesn’t necessarily mean sword usage is the main focus. It represents the idea of swordsmanship and its principles, something that can be built up to through study at the school. The school utilizes a tree system to allow maximum potential for studying individuals. Programs are categorized into Disciplines, which are made up of Gates.

The Wudang way There are several categories to the type of martial studies students can undergo, but it all boils down to one thing.

“The way we teach is unique from other martial arts in that when you attack it comes from defending,” Chongyi said.

“This keeps a calmness in your heart. Other styles are more aggressive and ‘go, go, go,’ but we teach you to wait for things, which gives a different attitude to what it means to be in a fight. My teacher always said that a fight goes until one person feels fear, and that’s that person retreating or quitting.

I want to prevent someone from hurting me and to also make them not want to hurt me anymore. Our sword cuts are designed to cut ligaments, not to cut heads. We cut the hand that holds the sword so they can’t attack us anymore.”

The physical benefits are many.

“Everything we do is in line with the body,” Chongyi pointed

WSA is open to students ages 10 and older. Chongyi encourages anyone that would like to try it to come for a free trial period.

Classes vary and a full schedule can be found at wudangswordsmen.com.

Wudang Swordsmen Academy, 269 S Washington St., WilkesBarre. Contact 570.630.0088 or by e-mail at info@WudangSwordsmen.com.

out. “We build the strength inside the ligaments and the joints to help sustain health.”

And yet, the health benefits are just a bonus to all the Daoist philosophy Wudang offers.

“We allow people to pick and choose if they want to add things to their life by way of a Daoist mindset,” Chongyi said.

Daoism is a mindset that has been developing in China for over 4,000 years, one that focuses on the development of health and medical practices and studies, laws of physics and nature, cosmological focuses, and martial arts.

“You might learn divination, how to read the constellations, internal alchemy, external alchemy, herbalism; there are many different ways to go,” Chongyi said. “You learn a little about each and pick what you like, tailoring it to your personal likes and needs.”

Mastering the art Chongyi began his foray into martial arts at the age of seven, branching out into other entities

Photos by Rich Howells Wudang Swordsmen Academy owner Xia Chongyi demonstrates just a fraction of the skills students can learn at the brand new martial arts school.

Instructor Xia Chongyi unsheathed a sword, a weapon used as students progress farther into their studies at the Wudang Swordsmen Academy.

that utilized the art, such as film.

But then he came across Daoist Priest Zhou Xuanyun.

“I met my teacher and I just quit everything. I dedicated my life to him.”

Chongyi has garnered experience in temple, military, family, and health martial arts throughout the years, allowing him to partake in full contact fighting to selfdefense training.

In 2010, Chongyi and his training brother Mei Chongzheng were the first ever non-Chinese inducted into the Wudang Dragongate Doaist lineage in a ceremony that hasn’t been performed since the 1940s.

Chongyi also carries two other

lineages: Zhengyi Dao, a non-monastic Doaist lineage, and Sanfeng Pai, the primary Wudang martial arts lineage taught at the mountain.

His love for what he does is apparent in nearly every move he makes and word he speaks, and this goes even further as he strives to pass such feelings onto others.

“I want people here that fall in love with the art,” he said. “Our goal is to give the art to the next generation. In every generation, it grows to fit the time and the environment. My goal is to get you hooked on Wudong, to get you hooked on these arts that make you healthier and happier.”

Xia Chongyi prepares himself before demonstrating what Kung Fu and Thai Chi look like.

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By Chuck Shepherd

A 20-something’s wild Adventures

Justin Brown | Weekender Correspondent

Weekender Wire Services

That’s Reverend Justin to you!

When I was a little kid spending time with my Nana in the Catskills, I would always beg her to tell me the story of how my parents met and got married.

“Again, Nana! Tell me the story!” I would beg. “Tell me how my Mommy and Daddy got married.”

“Well, it was the summer when your mother was 16,” she would start in a gentle, soft tone. “We were supposed to go to Costa Rica until Papa’s pavement company landed a big deal paving a highway for the summer in Pennsylvania. A boy working construction for Papa mentioned that his mother was renting out their lake cottage for the summer, so we decided to rent it and stay there.

Your mother was not interested in staying at the lake because she wanted to be in Costa Rica for the summer.”

My Nana would then go on to tell stories of how my father, a young 17-year-old boy at the time, would come to the lake house to cut the grass or fix things around the cottage, looking for reasons to come around just to get a glimpse of my mother.

“They eventually fell in love,” she’d continue. “When your mother went back to New York, they stayed in touch. Your father would drive to visit her every weekend. Young and head over heels in love, they married as soon as your mother turned 18. They’ve been together ever since.”

It was a magical story to hear

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when I was a little kid, but the older I got, the more it sounded like a disgustingly sappy Nicholas Sparks book that makes you want to vomit!

I think it’s outrageous to think that somewhere there is a little boy who can’t ask his grandparents to tell him the story of how his parents met and got married because it’s not legal for everyone’s parents to even get married!

It’s 2013! If Casey Anthony could get away with murdering her daughter, then two men or two women should be able to get away with saying, “I DO!” The way I look at it, if you don’t believe in gay marriage, then don’t marry a gay person.

To show my support for samesex marriage, I decided to marry a gay person. Literally. I recently became an online ordained minister with the Universal Life Church Monastery at themonastery.org – for free! It was so quick and easy that I did it while I was on the toilet taking my pre-shower dump! That’s right! I’m here, I’m looking to marry a queer – get used to it!

Get with it, America! Love is love; let it be! Show your support for same-sex marriage by becoming ordained online so that you can marry a gay couple and maybe one day you can be a part of a story a grandparent tells a little boy about how his parents met and got married.

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Wait… What? A startup company in Austin, Texas, also serving San Francisco, promises to take its customers’ incoming U.S. mail three times a week, photograph it and deliver it back to the customers via mobile phone app, for $4.99 a month. The company, Outbox, provides some valueadded services, removing the customer from junk-mail lists and paying bills. Still, Outbox’s unorthodox business model assumes that a growing number of people absolutely hate opening, filing or discarding pieces of paper. Cofounder Will Davis told CNN in February that at least he does not fear competition: “No one is crazy enough to do what we’re doing.”

OOPS!

has romantic intentions toward the other. Their relationship is likened to a business one, according to a February New York Times profile, in which they do their respective biological duties, separately, and then each basically outsources half the subsequent child-rearing to the other. Said another parent in a similar relationship: “When you think about the concept of the village, and how the village was part of child-rearing for so many cultures … it makes total sense.”

— Robert Burton, 34, got a 15year prison sentence in February for forcing women into prostitution, with evidence including a police report quoting Burton’s 7-year-old son, who was in the car with Burton and two women when Miami police stopped them. The kid had earnestly identified the women: “Those are my daddy’s hoes.”

THE CONTINUING CRISIS

— Professor Peter Froehlich, who teaches computer science classes at the highly competitive Johns Hopkins University, contractually grades “on a curve,” automatically marking the highest grade an A, with other grades trailing based on their proximity to the class’s best. One clever student tried to organize the entire class for December’s final exam, to persuade everyone to do no work at all — thus rendering the “highest” grade a zero, meaning an A for everyone. (Of course, if a single student broke ranks, everyone except that student would receive an absolute zero.) Fortunately for the students, according to InsideHigherEd.com, the class held together, and a shocked professor Froehlich nonetheless honored his contract, giving everyone an A (but subsequently closing the loophole).

— Thieves broke into the home of Earlie Johnson in Muskegon, Mich., in February and made off with several flat-screen TVs, but

what really irked him was that they also stole his entire DVD pornography collection, consisting, he said, of the films of every African-American porn star since the 1970s. (“I’m not no scum bag guy, pervert, or nothing like that,” he told WZZM-TV. “I just thought it was cool to own my own porn collection. It keeps my relationship (with his fiance) fresh and tight.”) As soon as the news of Johnson’s misfortune spread, several adult video companies donated DVDs to help restore the collection.

— Sex Is Dangerous: (1) Officers from the Zimbabwe Parks and Wildlife Management Authority reported in March that a lion had attacked a couple having sex in the bush, killing the woman and sending the man dashing down a road wearing nothing but his condom (which reduced his chances of receiving help from motorists). (2) Near Daytona Beach, Fla., in February, Ms. Asia Walker, 30, driving her boyfriend around, could not resist his amorous advances and soon lost control of the car. It left the road and plowed completely through a vacant house. She was briefly hospitalized, but her boyfriend was not hurt.

FINE POINTS OF THE LAW

Even though the British government refused to grant trademark protection to the Italian maker of “Jesus Jeans” because it would be “morally offensive to the public,” the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office had no such qualms and approved the application in 2007.

Since then, according to a February Wall Street Journal story, the company has prevented a dozen other companies from using such clothing names as “Jesus First,” “Sweet Jesus,” “Jesus Couture” and, most recently, “Jesus Surfed.”

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— Rachel Hope and Parker Williams, both apparently intelligent and attractive, decided to procreate and fully raise a child together — even though neither

PEOPLE DIFFERENT FROM US A persevering Brooklyn, N.Y., high school teacher, Ronald Grassel, finally relented and submitted himself to a psychiatric evaluation that had originally been ordered in 1997 after he angrily and overenthusiastically dumped teachers’ union literature in his principal’s office. Grassel had refused the exam and been benched, and for 14 years was neither fired nor paid while he filed a series of unsuccessful legal actions to overturn the decision.

According to a March New York Post report, when he finally submitted to an exam in 2011, he was declared fit (his world-class obstinacy apparently not counting against him) and in September 2012 was back on the job.

PAGE

— College basketball player Shanteona Keys makes free throws at a 78 percent rate for her career, but on Feb. 16, she weakly shanked one of those 15-foot shots, causing it to thud to the floor about eight feet short of the rim — the worst collegiate free-throw attempt of all time, according to several sports commentators who viewed the video. Keys explained to Deadspin.com that she always brings the ball close to her face when she shoots, “and my fingernail got caught on my nose, so I couldn’t follow through correctly.” Her Georgia College (Milledgeville, Ga.) team lost to rival Columbus State, 70-60.

— Research Hurts: Between 2002 and 2010, according to the March BJU International (formerly British Journal of Urology), an estimated 17,600 patients came to U.S. hospital emergency rooms reporting genital injuries from trouser zippers (presumably by accident, but researchers took no position on that). Seven authors (six from University of California, San Francisco) took credit for the report, funded by a National Institutes of Health grant, and found that “zip” wounds were only about one-fifth of emergency penile injuries.

FAMILY VALUES

Courtesy Photo It might be a little scary, but it’s no joke: Justin can now marry people, and he’s using his license to do good.

WEEKENDER, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 3, 2013

News of the weird

sorry mom & dad

2013

3,

APRIL

RIDE OF THE WEEK

Michael Golubiewski | Special to the Weekender

PAGE 42

WEEKENDER,

WEDNESDAY,

motorhead

1981 CHEVROLET MALIBU

Owner:

Brian Sobieski Scranton “This was originally my grandfather’s car; he bought it new. It became my first car when I turned 16,” Sobieski said. “I decided I wanted to keep it and restore it. It needed the most work on the exterior. I’ve worked hard to get it back to showroom new condition.” W To submit your vehicle, email: mgolubiewski@theweekender.com

get your

game on

Video game ReViews

Robbie Vanderveken | Special to the Weekender

Latest ‘Gears of War’ passes ‘Judgment’ about some of the back-story of the 2013 seems to be the year of preother characters as they fight to save quels and reboots. Last week, it was the city of Halvo Bay. “God of War 3,” “Tomb Raider,” One of the most immediate things and “Devil May Cry” – this week is you notice when you first dig into “Gears of War: Judgment.” the campaign is the tone is very When “Gears of War” came out different; the Kilo Squad is not as it in 2006, was very innovative and grizzled and battle-hardened as original. The “Gears” series is a the crew of later games. They are third-person military action game young, brash, and full of attitude. that set the standard for games of It’s nice seeing these characters in its kind. Despite being exclusive to their formative years and watching the Xbox, “Gears of War” has gone their first reactions to the overon to be one of the top best-selling whelming circumstance of the new games of all time, and with good invading Locust Horde. reason. “Gears” is one of the hallAnother thing that is interesting to marks of the action shooter genre see is the story of the other characwith its polished controls, epic ters in the squad that where involved cinematics, gory kills, breathtaking in the conflict. “Judgment” intrographics, and great story. duces Garron and Sofia, and they The story is about war between a seemingly unstoppable subterranean couldn’t be more opposite. Garron is a former enemy of the Cog that has enemy known as the Locust and the joined to fight the Locust, and Sofia human army called the Cogs. The is young disobedioriginal trilogy ent girl that wants revolves around a Upcoming game releases: military success. specific group of April 16: Injustice: Gods Among Their constant Cogs called Delta Us bickering adds Squad as they April 16: Shin Megami Tensei: some levity and launch a last-ditch Devil Summoner – Soul Hackers helps set the effort to save the April 23: Dead Island: Riptide tone for the Kilo human race. If Squad. you have played The story starts “Gears of War,” with the Kilo Squad under arrest and you know the story of Marcus Fein military court. The game is retold nix, Dom, and the rest of the crew, through their accounts of how and but with “GOW: Judgment,” we get why they are in trouble. The story to hear the tale of what happened has always been pretty good, but before the events of the original where the game really shines is the trilogy to leading up to Emergence gameplay. This is an interesting way Day, or the first appearance of the to tell a story, but it loses some of Locust Horde. the grand appeal of the other games In “Judgment,” you play as the because you don’t have a sprawling Kilo Squad, telling the story of adventure; it’s just a bunch of misBaird and Cole Train before we sions strung together. It’s cool, but meet Marcus and Dom in the events it doesn’t have the punch the other of “Gears 1.” The action in “Judggames have had. ment” is just as intense as the older Something new in this addition games, and it’s really cool to learn

Yet another installment of the ‘Gears of War’ game has been cranked out.

‘Gears of War: Judgment’ System: Xbox 360 Genre: Third-person shooter Rating: M for Mature Publisher: Microsoft Developers: People Can Fly, Epic Games

is the Declassification System, which changes the gameplay by adding conditions to each fight that you have to meet, such as impaired vision, stronger enemies, or another array of extra challenges that dramatically alter the standard game we have come to know. One thing that is good about Declassification is you receive a ranking on each level and you can compare it to leaderboards and also replay missions on the fly to get better scores, adding a lot of replayability to the game.

Even though the main campaign is pretty good, most people play “Gears” for the multiplayer. As always, the multiplayer is a cut above the rest of the other shooters on the market. The popular Horde and Beast modes aren’t here anymore, which is a bummer, but the new OverRun mode is an interesting hybrid of the two.

OverRun is the most entertaining multiplayer so far in my opinion.

On one side, you are defending an onslaught of Locust, or you can take control of the Locust, which is a blast. Another interesting mode is Survival, which has you and AI partners defending generators from the Locust; it’s very similar to Horde Mode, but not quite as good.

The old matches, like Deathmatch and Domination, are also available if you are looking for classic gameplay.

In some ways, “GOW: Judgment” is better than the old games, even though it doesn’t feel as epic.

The game is just as polished as ever and creates a ton of replay value, especially if you want to play online multiplayer. Even if you don’t buy any DLC, the game has enough content to keep you slaying Locust for a long while to come and is a fitting end to the “Gears” saga on this console generation.

-Robbie Vanderveken is the digital operations specialist at The Times Leader. E-mail him at rvanderveken @timesleader.com.

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BEER REVIEWS

Derek Warren | Weekender Correspondent

All Day… and night Beer: All Day IPA Brewer: Founders Brewing Company Style: American IPA ABV: 4.70% Why the Low ABV? Founders All Day IPA is considered a “session beer.” These are beers that tend to be lower in ABV, typically between 3.5 percent and 5 percent, and are “sessionable” in that they can be drunk in higher quantities than other beers; think having four Coors or Budweiser pints versus four Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA pints and you will have a good understanding.

WITH W TH PERFORMANCES WI OR RM MA ANCES BY B

Description: Founders All Day IPA pours a beautifully clear copper/gold with a pillow-white head that lingers for quite some time. The aroma is that of hop bouquet. Every hop aroma is on display in this wonderful beer, so hop lovers rejoice! The aroma is complex and mingles between floral, citrus, and even some hop resin dankness as well. Upon the first sip, you realize that this is very hoppy but still wonderfully balanced. The hop flavor that dominates is that of citrus and pine balanced with a light malt backbone. After swallowing, you will taste one final hop bite before this beer cleanses itself from your palate and finishes perfectly dry.

All in all, it has an absolutely wonderful amount of hops balanced with a great malt backbone in a low ABV beer – not a simple task to pull off, but done perfectly in this beer!

FEATURING: FE F E R NG OVER VE A DOZEN DO EN VENDORS VENDO S OV O CONCERT NCERT POSTER OSTER ART AR RT T & PHOTOGRAPHY PH TOGRAP Y GALLERY GA LERY SEASONAL S ASONA AL L FARMERS RM R MERS MARKET ARKET

CHARITY HARITY PARTNER: H PARTNER A AR R N

TICKETS CK KE K ET E TS ON ON SALE SALE NOW NOW

Is it worth trying? Yes, yes, and yes! Founders All Day IPA is the perfect beer for the craft beer lover that has non-craft beer loving friends. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my craft beer, but sometimes I don’t want a beer that is around 9 percent ABV when I am out with friends, mainly because I am in the bag much quicker than them and tend to call it a night much quicker too. All Day IPA is perfect in its simplicity and low ABV; it is a beer you can drink all night with your Budweiserloving friends and still hold your own throughout the night.

Session beers are something that are certainly in demand in the craft beer market, and many more are to come soon. So if you were nodding your head “yes” while reading along with this, then you know what I mean. Now go out and grab yourself a glass and enjoy it all night! Also, All Day IPA is now available in cans and will be hitting our market very soon, so you can pack away a few for those spring/summer outings – another definite plus!

Rating: W W W W Where can I get it? Currently available in bottles at: Krugel’s Georgetown Deli & Beer, Wilkes-Barre; Wegmans, Dickson City; and J & H Beer, Wilkes-Barre.

Remember, enjoy responsibly!

Cheers!

-Derek Warren is a beer expert, avid homebrewer, and beer historian. Derek can be reached at NEPABeerGeek@gmail.com.

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SCAN VISIT SCAN THE TH T HE H E CODE CO C ODE OR OR VI V ISIT WWW.CABINETMUSIC.COM WW WW W CA AB BINETMUS C OM

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E PRESENTED P BY:

Food pairing: All Day IPA may be low in ABV, but is certainly not low in hop flavor, so do not be afraid to match this beer up with some of your more powerful dishes. It is an absolute dream with Mexican food, the spicier the better. I absolutely loved it with a delicious chicken enchiladas dish. Looking for something a little simpler? Not a problem – this beer is perfect with a nice juicy hamburger. Also, do not be afraid to pile on the toppings; this beer can hold its own, and the carbonation will cleanse that nasty onion laden palate of yours as well! So grab some and dig in!

WEEKENDER, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 3, 2013

I’d Tap That

2013

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WEDNESDAY,

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PAGE 44

Sign language

By Caeriel Crestin

Weekender Correspondent

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Kill the overkill. It’s all about subtlety.

Release your crash of assault rhinoceri, give your bevy of sexy girl ninjas a week off, and plug in your laser-equipped, mind-controlled robots for a long overdue recharge. Entering this week’s peace talks with that kind of firepower would only count against you. Of course, if having all those ferocious resources go to waste is too galling, you can put them to work in other ways: Set up the robots to calculate your buddy’s taxes. Get your beasts to come up with a better aphrodisiac than the groundup rhinoceros horn that’s put their species in danger (ninjette sweat, bottled, might just do the trick). Just make sure you enter the conversation ready to negotiate, not attack, and you’ll do just fine.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Wearing the clothes you wore decades ago might be retro tongue-in-cheek chic, or it might just be tragic. Before you start reliving a second (or third, or fourth) childhood through your wardrobe, make sure you really have the impudence to pull it off properly. It takes a certain innate hipness to get away with it and not look ridiculous. It’s okay if you don’t have it; it’s overrated, anyway. Get with the times, but remember that you’re not the kid you once were. There’s nothing wrong with staying young-at-heart; simply make sure it’s not at the expense of the wisdom that’s supposed to come with age.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) In so many beautiful ways, you’re virtually unchanged from the daring, innocent, and fearless little boy or girl you once were. Of course, like everyone else on the planet, you’ve been altered by the wounds you’ve suffered, hindered by the scars that resulted, and handicapped by fears you’ve learned to have. When the very foundation of your happiness is besieged by cement-cracking stresses of the screwed-up grown-up world, please don’t forget your one superpower that can turn aside any flood, the supremely childlike skill you’ve managed to preserve most fruitfully: the ability to play.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) Buddhist philosopher and writer Thich Nhat Hanh recommends coping with anger as you would a howling baby. Although you might be tempted to pile blankets on top of it until you can’t hear it anymore, you’d never actually do that to a real infant. Why have you confined your rage to an internal red-light realm of grudges you can barely acknowledge, let alone release?

Don’t lock away your fury. Gently pick up

CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS COBIE SMULDERS (pictured) April 3, 1982 Robert Downey Jr. April 4, 1965 Colin Powell April 5, 1937 Candace Cameron April 6, 1976 Jackie Chan April 7, 1954 Robin Wright Penn April 8, 1966 Hugh Hefner April 9, 1926

your anger. Figure out what’s making it cry. It’s been too long since you tenderly gave yourself the space to identify the obstacles (mostly incensed emotions) that are keeping you from greater happiness.

Once you actually take a good look at them, you’ll be surprised at how easy it is to climb over or around them.

ARIES (March 21-April 19) We all need filters; they help us cope with our world, which is often overstimulating. Unfortunately, when they get too intense, it’s like wearing dark sunglasses at night. For months at a time, no one penetrates the self-induced haze except the tiny minority you find cute or compelling at a glance. That’s why it’s important to periodically shed those protective layers, like a crab molting an outgrown shell. If you choose this week to disencumber yourself of those handicapping barriers, you may be surprised with how effusively the world responds to you noticing it, sending blessing after disguised blessing your way—something it’s likely to keep doing as long as you stay alert and awake enough to catch them.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Duck! Take cover! Hide! Only, don’t.

What looks like a menacing gang of asskicking thugs hurling rocks is actually a bevy of tough, beautiful people tossing candy. The universe isn’t out to get you— it’s just giving you most of the things you want—all at once. Those delicious projectiles do have the power to knock you down for the count—or they could make you fabulously wealthy. It depends on whether you’re going to run for it (and get nailed) or hold your ground and catch as many of the hard-hitting goodies coming your way as you can.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) You’re not an elitist; you’re just discriminating. You’re hardly judgmental; you have standards. Believe me, I’m not here to pooh-pooh your shi-shi attitude (I’m probably a bigger snob than you, anyway). And I’m not going to counsel you to hang out with the lowbrow idiots you usually avoid “because you might learn something from them.” Even though that might be true, I’d rather you do exactly as you please—as long as you cop to it.

Go ahead and be a snooty smartass if it makes you happy—just be sure it actually does make you happy before you pass up on the Neanderthals who just might know something you don’t.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) You don’t usually like disturbing the sanctity of an untouchable crush. You prefer those unattainable lovelies stay in that beautifully pure, unrequited state, so you can project all your lofty ideals onto the unknowable cute stranger. But let’s just suppose for a second that you might someday risk rocking your fantasy boat by actually making a move on your dreamy object of desire. If that’s the case, this is your week. I’m not saying she’ll go for it—so think hard before you catapult your crush off her pedestal and into your life— but your chances are better this week than they will be for months—maybe years—to come.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) There’s an intruder in your emotional house. He probably snuck in through an upper-story window you thought was inviolate, while you were purring in the sunshine downstairs. Later, of course, you’ll have to consider new ways to make your spiritual sanctuary more impregnable, but your top priority right now is getting rid of your unwanted visitor, using

whatever’s on hand—fire extinguisher, frying pan, knitting needles. In the future, remember this week’s important lesson: Although it may be simpler to separately invoke the ferocious predator and cuddly kitten parts of you, one can’t exist without the other.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Most people would be astonished at the secret pockets of corny sentimentality that lurk beneath your hard, outer pragmatism; soggy little valleys of perplexing emotion sunk between treeless peaks of magnificent ambition and achievement. Yet, would you be surprised to learn that those who are most drawn to you suspect—and hope for—these sweet bogs of feeling? They dream of being the fearless discoverers who’ll map these uncharted territories.

Before the latest slightly-less-than-intrepid explorer turns back at the sight of the seemingly insurmountable mountains of your outer edges, send her a hint (of the dove-with-olive-branch variety) of the wetland paradise hidden within.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) It’s not too late to catch spring fever (especially for you Libras, who are usually quite susceptible). You may think last year’s events somehow inoculated you against the pleasurable lack of judgment that often accompanies this “ailment,” but it didn’t do more than up your resistance. Why would you want to keep from contracting this bit of intoxicating madness? Since you’ll need a little of that wild and crazy energy to get off the sidelines finally, and into the game, you’d better figure out how to come down with a serious case, and fast, or resign yourself to being an alternate the whole season.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Ditch the damn skull-and-crossbones label. You’ve been letting all this darkScorpio-demigod hype go to your head.

Just because people make the sign of the cross when they find out you’re a Scorp doesn’t mean you’re all that (it just means they’re idiots). I wouldn’t object to the roguish ‘tude if it weren’t for the seriously good s—t circling overhead, looking for a soft place to land. I can’t tell you what it is (only that it’s amazing, along the lines of your own TV show or fabulous inheritance), but you’re never going to find out unless you let your gooey, tender side outshine the stupendous badass side for a while.

-To contact Caeriel, send mail to sign. language.astrology@gmail.com.

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310

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MARKETPLACE

2013

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WEDNESDAY,

WEEKENDER,

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412 Autos for Sale

VITO’S & GINO’S Auto Sales 949 Wyoming Ave, Forty Fort

288-8995 93 UD Tow Truck with wheel lift.

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TOYOTA 04 CELICA GT

112K miles. Blue, 5 speed. Air, power windows/locks, CD/cassette, Keyless entry, sunroof, new battery.

Car drives and has current PA inspection. Slight rust on corner of passenger door.

Clutch slips on hard acceleration.

This is why its thousands less than Blue Book value. $6,500 OBO. Make an offer! Call 570-592-1629

415 Autos-Antique & Classic

MAZDA `88 RX-7 CONVERTIBLE

1 owner, garage kept, 65k original miles, black with grey leather interior, all original & never seen snow. $7,995.

Call 570-237-5119

439

Motorcycles

SUZUKI 01 VS 800 GL INTRUDER Garage kept, no rust, lots of chrome, black with teal green flake.

Includes storage jack & 2 helmets. $3600 570-410-1026

451

Trucks/ SUVs/Vans

451

Trucks/ SUVs/Vans

BEN S AUTO SALES RT 309 W-B Twp. Near Wegman’s 570-822-7359

FORD ‘07 FOCUS 4 DOOR SE 52K MILES 4 Cylinder, Auto, Air, Power Steering, Power Brakes, Power Windows, Power locks, Sunroof, Cruise, Tilt, CD. EXCELLENT GAS MILES. ONE LOW PRICE! $8,995 Full Notary Service Tags & Title Transfers

Doyouneedmorespace?

A yard or garage sale in classified is the best way tocleanoutyourclosets!

You’re in bussiness with classified!

BEN S AUTO SALES RT 309 W-B Twp. Near Wegman’s 570-822-7359

1518 8th Street Carverton, PA Near Francis Slocum St. Park

DODGE 06 DAKOTA CLUB CAB 6 speed.

EXTRA SHARP! $5,995 570-696-4377

FORD 04 F150

FORD ‘08 RANGER 4 cylinder, auto, air, PS, PB, ABS, AM/FM. New Bedliner. Excellent Condition, Gas Saver.

ONE LOW PRICE $6,995 Full Notary Service Tags & Title Transfers

4x2. Nice Truck! $11,999

KELLY

875 W. Market St. Kingston, PA. 570-287-2243

1518 8th Street Carverton, PA Near Francis Slocum St. Park

GMC 06 ENVOY

4X4, V6, sunroof.

LIKE NEW! $5,995.

570-696-4377

FORD 95 F150

4x4. 1 Owner.

91K. 4.9 engine, auto. Runs great. New paint, stake body with metal floor.

570-675-5046.

Leave message, will return call.

REDUCED!!!

NOW $3,595

LINE UP A GREAT DEAL...

IN CLASSIFIED!

Looking for the right deal on an automobile?

Turn to classified.

It’s a showroom in print!

Classified’s got the directions!

1518 8th Street Carverton, PA Near Francis Slocum St. Park

GMC 01 SIERRA

Trucks/ SUVs/Vans

1518 8th Street Carverton, PA Near Francis Slocum St. Park

GMC 03 ENVOY 4X4. V6. DVD.

3rd row seat.

EXTRA CLEAN! $5,995 570-696-4377

HONDA 09 CIVIC

Low miles, 4 door, 4 cylinder, auto. $14,400

Leather.

Like New! $3,995 570-696-4377

444 Market St. Kingston

MAFFEI Auto Sales

570-288-6227

542

506 Administrative/ Clerical

KELLY 875 W. Market St. Kingston, PA. 570-287-2243

MERCEDES 01 BENZ CLK 320 Coupe. Extra clean & sharp. $10,999

MAFFEI Auto Sales

570-288-6227 444 Market St. Kingston

TOYOTA CAMRY

One owner, auto, air. Warranty. $6,900

MAFFEI Auto Sales

570-288-6227 444 Market St. Kingston

457 Wanted to Buy Auto

All Junk Cars & Trucks Wanted Highest Prices Paid In CA$H FREE PICKUP

570-574-1275

460 AUTOMOTIVE SERVICE DIRECTORY 472

Auto Services

$ WANTED JUNK $ VEHICLES LISPI TOWING We pick up 822-0995

Looking for the right deal on an automobile?

Turn to classified.

It’s a showroom in print!

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WANTED

Cars & Full Size Trucks. For prices...

Lamoreaux Auto Parts 477-2562

Logistics/ Transportation

542

Logistics/ Transportation

542

Logistics/ Transportation

CORE-MARK

JEEP 04 WRANGLER

6 cylinder. 5 speed 4x4 $9,999

4X4. V8. 1 owner.

LIKE NEW! $5,995 570-696-4377

1518 8th Street Carverton, PA Near Francis Slocum St. Park

FORD 00 WINDTAR SEL

451

WORK FOR THE BEST !! We are GROWING and need Drivers NOW to service our customers. We are a National Convenience Store Distribution Company hosting an OPEN HOUSE on: Wednesday 4/3/13 and Saturday 4/6/13 from 9 am until 4 pm.

Show up and be interviewed!

We are looking to fill the following Full-Time Positions:

PAYROLL

Seeking a full time payroll person located in Wilkes-Barre, Pa. Candidate must have experienced payroll administration using an inhouse payroll system to process payroll, quarterly reports, yearly tax returns and annual W2 forms. Must maintain a high level of confidentiality. Please send resume to: The Times Leader BOX 4340 15 N. Main Street Wilkes-Barre, PA 18711

CLASS A CDL DRIVERS & DRIVER CHECK-IN

Competitive Salary, Generous benefit package to include Medical/Dental/Vision/STD/LTD and 401k. $1,500 sign on bonus as well as Attendance/Safety and Performance Bonus programs available. Annual and merit increases. Designed Route Deliveries with great equipment and company provided uniform and work boots. Guaranteed 40 hours per week!

We also have Part-Time opportunities available for drivers, if you are looking to supplement your income.

Apply @

100 West End Rd Wilkes-Barre, PA 18706

Find Something?

Lose Something?

Get it back where it belongs with a Lost/Found ad!

570-829-7130

NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE SHOW UP AND BE INTERVIEWED!!

All applicants subject to pre-employment drug and background check. EOE

527 Food Services/ Hospitality

527 Food Services/ Hospitality

527 Food Services/ Hospitality

527 Food Services/ Hospitality

MANAGER TRAINEES SEND US YOUR RESUME Expanding Burger King Franchise in the area needs enthusiastic, aggressive people for Management Positions. Benefits Include: Health Insurance Plan 401 (K) Dental And Life Insurance Available Bonus Plan Paid Vacation Paid Sick Days 45 Hour Work Week Competitive Salary If You Have Pride In Your Own Ability Send Your Resume To: Burger King Attn: Personnel Dept.

185 Ferguson Avenue Shavertown, Pa 18708 E-Mail: Hr@Pdmco.Net E.O.E.

Building/ Construction/ Skilled Trades

EXPERIENCED ROOFING INSTALLER Reliable person only

need apply. Carpentry skills a plus.

Opportunity for full time employment.

Call for interview.

Leave information.

References helpful.

570-823-5368

522

Education/ Training

CENTER DIRECTOR Hildebrandt Learning Centers at King’s College Early Learning Center, WilkesBarre has a position available for a FT Child Care Center Director. A 4 year early Childhood Education degree, EL ED degree or BA/BS equivalent with exp, knowledge of Keystone Stars and NAEYC, exp. working with adult learning beneficial.

Generous Benefit Package. To apply visit www. hildebrandtlc.com and select careers.

EOE

527 Food Services/ Hospitality

FRONT DESK

The Hampton Inn & Suites,Wilkes-Barre Full–Time & PartTime Evening positions available Currently seeking friendly, outgoing and responsible people to join our Front Desk team.

Responsibilities include: *handling of guest registration procedures. *Answering phones in a professional manner *Providing top quality customer service *Clean driving record Please apply in person 876 Schechter Drive Wilkes-Barre, PA

Looking for that special place called home?

Classified will address Your needs.

Open the door with classified!

PIZZA MAKER

AUTO BODY TECH & AUTO PAINT PREP Now taking

applications for Auto Body Tech (5+yrs exp) & Auto Paint Prep (3+yrs exp) Must have Valid PA Driver’s License.

Call for interview 823-2211 M-F 8:30-5

Find Your Ideal Employee! Place an ad and end the search!

570-829-7130 ask for an employment specialist

AUTO TECHNICIANS Currently looking for Auto Technicians with two plus years of experience for full & part time positions. We are a very fast paced shop and candidates must have experience in complete auto mechanic repairs and diagnostics. Safety & Emission licenses are a must! ASE certifications are helpful but not required. Health insurance, holiday pay and other benefits available.

Salary is based on experience. Please send resume to: Times Leader P.O. Box 4345 15 N Main St. Wilkes-Barre, PA 18711-0250

542

Logistics/ Transportation

Delivery Drivers/ Independent Contractors. Need reliable cars, vans or SUV’s for same day delivery.

Call 800-818-7958

548 Medical/Health

OPTICIAN

We are currently looking for experienced forklift operators with at least one (1) year of experience with picking, receiving, loading, unloading and use of a scanner. Stand-up forklift experience a plus. Must have a valid Driver’s license and your own transportation.

Apply in person Monday through Thursday 9 A.M. to 2 P.M. at:

TEAM20EMPLOYER SOLUTIONS R S .

EYNOLDS T KINGSTON, PA 18704

570-714-5955

Project/ Program Management

Experience in all aspects of lawn care is preferable.

Full time position with seasonal overtime available.

Please Apply To: Green Valley Landscaping, Inc. 52 Reese St., Plains, Pa. 18702

551

566

Other

CERTIFIED MASSAGE THERAPIST Hiring Part-time and full time. For our Scranton & Wilkes Barre locations.

For interview call 570-817-1070.

Job Seekers are looking here!

Where's your ad?

570-829-7130 and ask for an employment specialist

554

Production/ Operations

EXPERIENCED FOREMAN AND EQUIPMENT OPERATOR A team leader who can oversee commecial/residential projects.Wages commensurate with experience.

Available benefits include 401k plan, and health & dental plan. If you are looking to join a quality workforce of a long-standing landscaping company in business for forty years, we would like to meet you.

Please Apply To:

Green Valley Landscaping, Inc.

52 REESE ST., PLAINS, PA. 18702

PRODUCTION WORKERS Local window mfg.

Company is seeking experienced line operators.

Starting rate depends on experience. Attendance and Productivity Bonus are potential. Health, Dental, Vision & 401K Plan available upon full time stats. Don’t miss out on an opportunity to join a great team!

Apply in person to:

Interstate Building Materials, Inc.

Attn: Director of HR 322 Laurel St. Pittston 18640

566

Sales/Retail/ Business Development

LAWN MAINTENANCE CREW FOREMAN

Full time position for busy eye doctors office in Berwick.

Experience preferred or will train the right person.

Benefits available with 401K. Send resume to: The Times Leader Box 4355 15 N. Main Street Wilkes-Barre, Pa 18711

EQUAL OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER

FORKLIFT

557

Equal Opportunity Employer

Sales/Retail/ Business Development

CUSTOMER SERVICE/ SALES AN INVITATION TO JOIN OUR ADVERTISING SALES TEAM!

ARE YOU A TELEPHONE PROFESSIONAL? The Times Leader

an Impressions Media property has a part time position available in our Classified Dept.

Qualified applicant will be goal oriented, able to work within daily deadlines, have solid computer and internet knowledge, superior verbal and written communication skills, excellent typing and grammar skills, a high energy level and an eagerness to learn. Compensation includes base pay plus monthly commission up to $500. If you meet these requirements and want to start an exciting new career send your resume by April 9, 2013 to: lbyrnes@ civitasmedia.com or mail to Linda Byrnes 15 N. Main St., Wilkes-Barre, PA 18711 NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE

LINEUP ASUCCESSFULSALE INCLASSIFIED! Doyouneedmorespace?

A yard or garage sale in classified is the best way tocleanoutyourclosets!

You’re in bussiness with classified!

SALES

Commission shed sales in Scranton.

Our busy season is here; need a self-motivated commission-driven salesperson with experience who is local. Experience preferred but will train the right person. Phone: 570725-3439 or Fax: 570-725-3309 or email ekvs@pcfreemail.com

716

CONSTRUCTION MATERIALS TWO SHIPPING

700 MERCHANDISE

SALES POSITION

Looking for a person familiar with the restaurant and janitorial industry. We are an equipment and sales company looking to further our customer base in the Wilkes-Barre, Poconos & surrounding areas.

Requirements are: valid drivers license, vehicle, self-motivated, good communication skills, and professional attire.

We offer an excellent benefit package: including 401K, health insurance, paid vacation & holidays. This position has a base salary and opportunity to grow.

Send resume to: c/o Times Leader Box 4350 15 N. Main St. Wilkes-Barre, PA 18711-0250

Let the Community Know!

Place your Classified Ad TODAY! 570-829-7130

600 FINANCIAL 610

Business Opportunities

Northeast PA sales route for sale. Ten year established customer base.

147K in sales in 2012. One man operation. Unlimited growth potential.

Retiring, priced to sell. Serious Inquiries Only.

570-855-5170

630 Money To Loan “We can erase your bad credit 100% GUARANTEED.” Attorneys for the Federal Trade Commission say they’ve never seen a legitimate credit repair operation. No one can legally remove accurate and timely information from your credit report.

It’s a process that starts with you and involves time and a conscious effort to pay your debts.

Learn about managing credit and debt at ftc. gov/credit. A message from The Times Leader and the FTC.

708

Building Materials

Antiques & Collectibles

ATTENTION VENDORS Accent items,

ceramics, baskets, holiday items, glasses, much more. ALL EXCELLENT PRICES AND IN EXCELLENT CONDITION. 570-675-5046 after 5:30 P.M.

LINE UP A GREAT DEAL...

IN CLASSIFIED!

Looking for the right deal on an automobile?

Turn to classified.

It’s a showroom in print!

Classified’s got the directions!

YEARBOOKS. Coughlin (30) ‘282000. GAR -(18)) ‘37-’06, Meyers (15) ‘53-’03, Pittston (6) ‘67-’75, WVW (12), 1967-2000,Kingston (11) ‘32-’52, Hazleton, (8) ‘40-’61, Plains, (3) ‘66-’68, Hanover ‘51-’74.

Prices vary depending on condition. $20-$40 each. Call for further details & additional school editions. 570-8254721 arthurh302@ aol.com

CONTAINERS, SIZE 40’ X 7’9” X 7’9”, LOADED WITH VARIOUS MATERIALS LEFTOVER FROM HOME CONSTRUCTION. MATERIALS INCLUDE MOLDING, DOORS (SOME NEW SOME USED) CABINETS, GARAGE DOORS, HARDWARE, FIRESTOP, TILE, WOOD COLUMNS, MISCELLANEOUS ELECTRICAL AND MORE ITEMS TOO NUMEROUS TO LIST. BUYER MUST COME SEE BEFORE BIDDING. BUYER RESPONSIBLE FOR REMOVAL OF THE CONTAINERS AND ALL COSTS INCURRED IN MOVING CONTAINERS. BUYER WILL NEED TRAILER AND TRUCK TO TOW AWAY. CALL JOHN FOR INFORMATION (570) 233-6156. ALL REASONABLE BIDS ACCEPTED.

Shopping for a new apartment?

Classified lets you compare costs without hassle or worry!

Get moving with classified!

Shopping for a new apartment?

Classified lets you compare costs without hassle or worry!

Get moving with classified!

566 Sales/Business Development

566 Sales/Business Development

732

Exercise Equipment

LEG EXTENSION MACHINE Hammer Strength ISO-Lateral. 4 years old, plate loaded, platinum frame, navy upholstery. New condition. $1000. SEATED L E G C U R L MACHINE, Hammer Strength ISOLateral. 4 years old, plate loaded, platinum frame, navy upholstery, New condition. $1000.

Call Jim 570-855-9172

Doyouneedmorespace?

A yard or garage sale in classified is the best way tocleanoutyourclosets!

You’re in bussiness with classified!

744

Furniture & Accessories

CHAIRS, (2) Genuine leather, custom made recliners.

Taupe color, like new. $550 each.

570-675-5046

FURNISH FOR LESS

* NELSON * * FURNITURE * * WAREHOUSE * Recliners from $299 Lift Chairs from $699 New and Used Living Room Dinettes, Bedroom 210 Division St Kingston Call 570-288-3607

Purebred Animals?

Sell them here with a classified ad!

570-829-7130

566 Sales/Business Development

INSIDE SALES ASSOCIATE

-

CUSTOMER SERVICE

Full time position created for busy officewarehouse setting in Scranton.

8am-5pm Mon-Fri. Parking is free.

Person must have the following skill set: Professional, ability to multi task and take initiative working with customers and sales team.

-Inbound Call handling orders, product information, availability, pricing -Client proposals set pricing - Handling of order changes / returns - Monitoring of all queues and identification and handling of all issues related to in-process orders - Service call and request handling - Complete administrative support of outside salespersons - Handling of walk-in and new / unassigned phone clients - Excellent computer entry MS Office and database.

Other duties will be reviewed. 2-4 years in high level customer oriented position and Associate Degree in Business is preferred.

Salary is pending experience. Benefits after 90 days with paid time off after 6 months.

Apply online with application at: www.papaper.com Application must be completed to be considered for phone interview.

EOE and Drug Free Workplace

47

PART TIME EXPERIENCE A MUST! WHITE HAVEN CALL 570-956-1961

Installation/ Maintenance/ Repair

PAGE

& KITCHEN HELP

533

WEEKENDER, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 3, 2013

509

2013

3,

APRL

WEDNESDAY,

WEEKENDER,

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758 Miscellaneous

570-301-3602

CALL US! TO JUNK YOUR CAR

Find your next vehicle online.

BEST PRICES IN THE AREA

CA$H

ON THE

$POT,

Free Anytime Pickup 570-301-3602

Shopping for a new apartment?

Classified lets you compare costs without hassle or worry!

Get moving with classified!

548 Medical/Health

timesleaderautos.com 548 Medical/Health

758 Miscellaneous

All Junk Cars & Trucks Wanted Highest Prices Paid In CA$H FREE

548 Medical/Health

PICKUP

570-574-1275

Friendship House is looking for

Mental Health Professionals

to join our School Based Behavioral Health Teams in Scranton!!

The MHP will provide therapy as a part of a multi-disciplinary team for children and their families using individual, group and family therapy.

Qualifications include MSW/LSW/LCSW/NCC or license in related field required. Clinical experience with children strongly preferred.

Full Time Positions Currently Available!!

Please reply to: recruiter@friendshiphousePA.Org Visit us On-Line at www.friendshiphousepa.org E.O.E/L.E.P

Doyouneedmorespace?

A yard or garage sale in classified is the best way tocleanoutyourclosets!

You’re in bussiness with classified!

762

Musical Instruments

906 Homes for Sale

796 Wanted to Buy Merchandise

WANTED JEWELRY

NANTICOKE

(570)48GOLD8 (570)484-6538

Highest Cash PayOuts Guaranteed Open 6 Days a We e k 10am-6pm Closed Thursdays 1092 Highway 315 Blvd.

(Plaza 315) 315N, 1/2 mile b e f o re M o h e g a n Sun Casino

London PM Gold Price

April 2 - $1,583.50 We Pay At Least 80% of the London Fix Market Price for All Gold Jewelry

GUITAR, Fender, 1983 USA Precision Bass. Nice condition. Comes with original case. Serious inquiries only, will consider offers. $950. 457-4084

WilkesBarreGold.com or email us at wilkesbarregold@ yahoo.com

Looking for the right deal on an automobile?

Turn to classified.

It’s a showroom in print!

Classified’s got the directions!

Looking for the right deal on an automobile?

Turn to classified.

It’s a showroom in print!

Classified’s got the directions!

Income & Commercial Properties

900 REAL ESTATE FOR SALE 906 Homes for Sale

WILKESBARREGOLD

909

Having trouble paying your mortgage?

Falling behind on your payments?

You may get mail from people who promise to forestall your foreclosure for a fee in advance. Report them to the Federal Trade Commission, the nation’s consumer protection agency. Call 1-877FTC-HELP or click on ftc.gov. A message from The Times Leader and the FTC.

Looking for that special place called home?

Classified will address Your needs.

Open the door with classified!

PLAINS Nothing to do but

just move in!

23 Laurel Street 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms Excellent condition!

Off street parking, new roof, and all new appliances included.

Playground right around the corner. $139,900 Call (570)690-2886

1472 S. Hanover St. Well maintained bi-level house features 2 bedrooms, 1 3/4 baths, recreation room with propane stove.

3 season porch.

Professionally landscaped yard. 1 car garage, storage shed, new appliances, ceiling fans.

Close to LCCC. $153,900.

Call 570-735-7594 or 570-477-2410

Find Something?

Lose Something?

Get it back where it belongs with a Lost/Found ad!

570-829-7130

909

Income & Commercial Properties

WILKES-BARRE Owner Retiring Turn Key Night Club For Sale.

Two full bars, game area.

Four restrooms.

Prime Location!!!

Creative financing Available $80,000, Dave Rubbico, Jr.

Rubbico Real Estate 826-1600

COMMERCIAL PROPERTY for lease. Units

ranging from 6002700 sq ft. prime Mountaintop area, great for business!!! High traffic area for retail or office space.

Prices ranging from $500.00/ month for smallest off street unit to $2700.00/month for large 2700 square foot building. call Amanda Colonna 570-714-6115 CENTURY 21 SMITH HOURIGAN GROUP 570-287-1196, for details and to view units.

912 Lots & Acreage

DALLAS

GREENBRIAR RETIREMENT COMMUNITY Only eight lots left. Custom design you home the way you want it.

Call 570-675-1300

Line up a place to live in classified!

NEWPORT TWP.

LOTS - LOTS - LOTS

1 mile south of L.C.C.C. Established developement with underground utilities including gas.

Cleared lot. 100’ frontage x 158. $35,000.

Now Hiring!

Lot 210 ‘ frontage 158’ deep on hill with great view $35,000.

Call 570-736-6881

Merchandise Processors and Loss Prevention Manager

Apply Online At

http://www.neimanmarcuscareers.com or in person 9am - 11am and 1pm - 3 pm 450 Centerpoint Blvd. • Pittston

Neiman Marcus offers paid training, a generous employee discount & competitive benefits package

941

Apartments/ Unfurnished

GLEN LYON

1st floor, NEW & Appliances Floors. 4 room apt.

Electric & propane gas heat. Off street parking.

Washer /dryer hookup, refrigerator, garbage included. No dogs. $400/month references required, 1 year lease + 1 month security.

570-714-1296

New A m ericanStaff

Ultima II

Having A Bachelor Party Or Any Other Special Night Out?

A Health & Relaxation Spa

Go In Style In Our S-T-R-E-T-C-H HUMMER

NOW INTR OD UCING ASH L E E !

D AILY SP E CIAL

1 H O UR $40

W E E K LY SP E CIAL COM E SAY H I TO AL E X IS & GE T $10 OF F ANY SE SSION

1-866-858-4611 570-970-3971

Call our friendly staff about our new services and masseuses. Waxing, skin esthetics, facials and more available. Couple specials Fri-Sat-Sun 6Midnight Gift certificates available.

Lather up in the company of “Peaches” and “Cream” in the Jacuzzi of Dreams. Call for rates.

EVERY TUESDAY 6 P.M.-MIDNIGHT is “COUGAR CUB DAY” FRI., SAT., SUN. 6 P.M.-MIDNIGHT MEET THE ANDREW SISTERS

Or Exclusive

Party Bus!

M O N D AY & W E D N E SD AY

H AL F O F F

TU E S., TH U R S., SU N .

2 F OR 1

COME SEE OUR HONEYS & GO HOME WITH A BUNNY!

(570) 655-3737 or (570) 654-3681 T.S. SUSIE SUCKEMZ

Secret Moments Massage

B E A U T IF U L Y O U N G A S IA N G IR L S

ARE YOU LONELY & IN NEED OF A WOMAN’S TOUCH ENJOY A WARM SENSUAL MASSAGE

Profes s iona l M a s s a ge O pen 7 days 9:30 am -11 pm

Discrete, Independent, Mature, Attractive. 36D, 110 lbs.

Small waist, Blonde EscortDancer-Lingerie Model

Now Hiring 570-793-5767

W

1week only!

WB near mall 24/7 1st timers welcomed

M&R Agency Rt. 11, West Nanticoke 735-4150

2042 N . M em orial H w y., Sh avertow n,PA

675-1245

STOP IN, RELAX, ENJOY!

C O M E IN AN D M E E T O UR N E W E S T S T AF F M E M BE RS : F RAN C E S C A, N IK K I & L E AH

$20 OFF

795504

ANY SESSION WITH AD EXPIRES 4-10-13 •NOWHIRING,INCENTIVESOFFERED MOSTMAJORCREDITCARDSACCEPTED

The Aroma A Spa

ORIENTAL SPA Rt. 93 Hazle Twp.

ORIENTAL SHIATSU BODY MASSAGE

570-991-8566 405 N. River Street • Wilkes-Barre

19 Asian Spa

Open 7 Days 10am-11:30pm FEATURING BODY AND FOOT MASSAGES

$10 OFF HOUR SESSIONS

570-337-3966 Unit 19A Gateway Shopping Center, Edwardsville

MagicalAsian Massage

OPEN: 9:30 A.M.-12:30 A.M. Featuring Table Shampoo 570-540-5333

177 South Market Street, Nanticoke

ELITE SPA N E W S TA F F !

Orien ta l S ta ff Body S ha m poo M a ssa ge-Ta n n in g

318 W ilkes-B a rre Tow n ship B lv d., R ou te 30 9 L a rge P a rkin g A rea • O pen D a ily 9 a m -M idn ight

570 .824.9 0 17

49

795329

10 AM to 10 PM DAILY

570.558.4404

Discrete Chat Guy to Guy

PAGE

Near Laurel Mall Hours: 10AM-10PM

FREE TRIAL

FREE TRIAL

H E AL T H & RE L AX AT IO N S PA

JAC UZ Z I W IT H C O UPO N . E X P. 4-10-13

570-861-9027

404-919-6636

Check it out online: www.theweekender.com

$20 O F F

(entrance in back, 2nd floor)

801528

24-7 In-Call Out-Call

772541

HEAD 2 TOE

570-599-0225

570-341-5852

570-299-0064

South Rt. 309 • Hazleton

FREE PARKING

Fash ion M all Rt. 6

757978

PRIVATE BY APPT. DAILY 10A-10P EXIT 182 SCRANTON • 570-702-2241

Spa 21

772539

206539

Cali’s Delight come see our new affordable girl.

Free waxing or parafin w/ a 1 hour spa.

She’s the best in town Appointments preferred - Any day by appointment

Serving You For 3 Generations

www.parrishlimos.com

747018

ASK AB O U T F R E E B O D Y SH AM P O O !

A cceptingallm ajor credit cards 5 70 -779 -4 5 5 5 14 75 W.MainSt.,Plym outh

WEEKENDER, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 3, 2013

SEN SATIO N S

2013

3

APRIL

WEDNESDAY,

WEEKENDER,

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941

Apartments/ Unfurnished

941

Apartments/ Unfurnished

941

WILKES-BARRE

HANOVER TOWNSHIP 3029 South Main

1st floor, 3 bedrooms, wall to wall carpeting and freshly painted, central air, eat in kitchen with appliances.

Off street parking. Laundry room with bonus washer and dryer. Heat & cooking gas included. Tenant pays electric & water. $640 + security. No Pets.

570-814-1356

HARVEY S LAKE Knotty pine, 1 bed-

room lakefront house. W/D, range, fridge included.

Parking, nice view of sunset. near Grotto Pizza $645. mo utilities by tenant. Security, references, lease, no pets. 570-287-5775 570-332-1048

HARVEYS LAKE

2 bedroom , wall to wall carpet, appliances, Lake rights.

Off street parking.

No pets. Lease, security and references.

570-639-5920 KINGSTON

EATON TERRACE

317 N. Maple Ave. 2 story 2 bedroom, 1.5 bath @ $850. + utilities.

Two story 3 bedroom, 2.5 baths @ $1,110. + utilities.

Central heat & air, washer/dryer in unit, on site parking. 1 mo. security

Mayflower Crossing Apartments 570.822.3968 1, 2, 3 & 4 Bedrooms - Light & bright open floor plans - All major appliances included - Pets welcome* - Close to everything - 24 hour emergency maintenance - Short term leases available

Call TODAY For AVAILABILITY!! www.mayflower crossing.com Certain Restrictions Apply*

WILKES-BARRE 2 bedrooms, living

room, kitchen, finished attic off street parking. 1st & last months rent + security. Leave message 570-817-0601

MOUNTAIN TOP WOODBRYN 1 & 2 Bedroom.

No pets. Rents based on income start at $405 & $440. Handicap Accessible.

Equal Housing Opportunity. 570474-5010 TTY711 This institution is an equal opportunity provider and employer.

SWOYERSVILLE

Swoyersville, First floor, very energy efficient and very clean, 1 bedroom, new wall to wall carpet, stove and refrigerator furnished, shared washer/dryer. Utilities by tenant.

Good location, off street parking. No pets or smoking.

One year lease and security. $550 (267) 872 4825

WILKES-BARRE 447 S. Franklin St.

1 bedroom with study, off street parking, laundry facility. Includes heat and hot water, hardwood floors, appliances, Trash removal. $580/mo Call (570)821-5599

Looking for that special place called home?

Classified will address Your needs.

Open the door with classified!

WILKES-BARRE

VICTORIAN CHARM

On S. Franklin St. 1st floor, 1 bedroom, wood floors, eat-in kitchen with stove & refrigerator, modern bath, coinop washer & dryer.

Off street parking.

Secure building. $550/ month includes everything except phone & cable.

570-822-7670

950

Half Doubles

WILKES-BARRE

AMERICA REALTY APARTMENTS The General

Hospital neighborhood is home to brick Victorian. Remodeled 1st floor 1 bedroom with aesthetic fireplace adorning, new maple kitchen with built -in appliances, plusH carpets.

Parking, Services managed & provided AMERICA REALTY. $700 + utilities. NO PETS, 2 YEAR SAME RENT, EMPLOYMENT VERIFICA TION.

570-288-1422 WILKES-BARRE/NORTH

By General Hospital Large 1 bedroom, hardwood floors, appliances. Eat in kitchen. Parking space available. $500/month + utilities. No pets.

570-540-5312

944

Commercial Properties

WILKES-BARRE

307-309 South St E. 2 bedroom, available early April. 1st floor. New windows & carpet. Ceramic tile in kitchen & bath. 6 x 8 porch. $650/month. Landlord pays heat & water. No hook ups.

No Pets. 1 month security & 1 month rent. Call Manny 718-946-8738 or 917-295-6254

570-262-6947

GET THE WORD OUT with a Classified Ad. 570-829-7130

Apartments/ Unfurnished

COMMERCIAL RETAIL PROPERTY FOR RENT: 900 Sq. Ft. STORE RETAIL SPACE Will be vacant as of January 1, 2013 200 Spring St. Wilkes-Barre Great for a Barber Shop!

Call Michael at 570-239-7213

DOLPHIN PLAZA

Rte. 315 2,400 Sq. Ft. 1,200 Sq. Ft. Professional office space. Will divide office / retail Call 570-829-1206

947

Garages

WANTED GARAGE Duryea & surrounding area. Wanted garage to rent for boat storage. Easy access.

570-760-1548

950

Half Doubles

HANOVER TWP.

#5 and #7 Regina St. 3 bedrooms 1 bath, off street parking, washer and dryer included. #5-$750 Plus utilities, #7$800 plus utilities.

Background and credit check.

570-765-4474

ASHLEY

3 bedrooms. Available now! fenced in yard. Wall to wall carpet, 1st floor, large separate laundry room.

Hanover School District. $650.

570-851-2929 leave message

KIINGSTON

67 Pulaski St. fully renovated 2 bedroom 1 bath, large living room, new carpet, washer and dryer included, credit and background check. $750 + utilities.

570-765-4474

WEST PITTSTON

5 bedroom, 1.5 baths, living & dining rooms, kitchen with stove, refrigerator & dishwasher.

Gas heat & off street parking. $800/month + utilities, security & references.

570-237-5478

LINEUP ASUCCESSFULSALE INCLASSIFIED! Doyouneedmorespace?

A yard or garage sale in classified is the best way tocleanoutyourclosets!

You’re in bussiness with classified!

WEST PITTSTON Century home,

great neighborhood, recently renovated, 3 bedrooms, 1 bath, refrigerator and stove included. Offstreet parking, $800+ utilities, one year lease and security. No Pets.

Call (570) 283-3086

Looking for that special place called home?

Classified will address Your needs.

Open the door with classified!

953 Houses for Rent

953 Houses for Rent

1039

SHAVERTOWN

OLD FORGE LUXURY TOWNHOUSE Built in 2003 this

Good location, excellent schools.

Modern, 4 bedrooms, office, 2 full baths. Living, dining rooms. Finished family room, granite kitchen with ceramic tile. Large wrap around deck, out door Jacuzzi, in ground heated pool.

Gas heat. Four car off street parking. $1,500/month + utilities, security + last month deposit.

Includes fridge, stove, washer/dryera, sewer & trash.

Available July 1st.

Pictures available through e-mail. Call 570-545-6057.

luxurious 3 bedroom townhome features hardwood floors on main floor, finished basement, large master suite, private outdoor deck and back yard, off street parking, granite countertops, stainless steel appliances, DirecTV, highspeed internet, garbage, sewer, gas heat with brand new furnace, central air conditioning with brand new compressor, brand new carpeting on 2nd floor in all bedrooms, extra closet space, large basement storage room, wood blinds in aLL rooms, all yard maintenance and snow plowing included. This is an end unit with only one other unit attached.

Rent is $1,400. per month & requires $1,400. security deposit.

Minimum one year lease required. Must fill out credit application.

NO PETS. 570-840-1960

Doyouneedmorespace?

A yard or garage sale in classified is the best way tocleanoutyourclosets!

You’re in bussiness with classified!

1000 SERVICE DIRECTORY 1024

Building & Remodeling

1ST. QUALITY CONSTRUCTION CO.

To place your ad call...829-7130

Roofing, siding, gutters, insulation, decks, additions, windows, doors, masonry & concrete.

Insured & Bonded.

A-1 ABLE CHIMNEY Rebuild & Repair Chimneys. All types of Masonry.

Liners Installed, Brick & Block, Roofs & Gutters.

Licensed & Insured 570-735-2257

1054

PENN FORREST TWP.

Excavating

All Types Of Excavating, Demolition & Concrete Work.

Lot clearing, pool closing and retaining walls, etc.

Large & Small Jobs FREE ESTIMATES (570) 760-1497

1099

Fencing & Decks

FREDERICK FENCE CO. Locally Owned Vinyl, Chain Link, Aluminum, Wood.

570-709-3021

Estimates. Masonry & concrete work.

Specializing in foundations, repairs and rebuilding. Footers floors, driveways.

570-840-9913 570-346-4103 PA084504

Line up a place to live in classified!

D. PUGH CONCRETE

20 YEARS EXPERIENCE

All phases of masonry & concrete. Small jobs welcome.

Senior discount.

Free estimates.

Licensed & Insured 288-1701/655-3505

STESNEY CONCRETE & MASONRY

Brick, block, walks, drives, steps, stucco, stone, foundations, floors, etc. Lic. & Ins. 570-283-1245 or 570-328-1830

1057Construction & Building FATHER & SON CONSTRUCTION Interior & Exterior Remodeling Jobs of All Sizes 570-814-4578 570-709-8826

State Lic. # PA057320

2,100 sq, ft., 3 bedroom, 2 baths. Master bedroom walk in closet. Living, family & other rooms.

New carpet & paint.

2 car garage. Laundry room, patio, large yard.

One minute from turnpike 2014 slip ramp on 903. Pool & lake rights. $1,450/month.

570-657-0073

1093

Concrete & Masonry

C&C MASONRY & CONCRETE Absolutely Free

Senior Citizens Discount!

570-606-8438 Shedlarski Construction H I

Chimney Service

1084

OME MPROVEMENT SPECIALIST

Licensed, insured & PA registered.

Kitchens, baths, vinyl siding & railings, replacement windows & doors, additions, garages, all phases of home renovations.

Free Estimates 570-287-4067

Electrical

ECONOLECTRIC No Job Too Small.

Generator Installs.

Residential & Commercial Free Estimates Licensed-Insured PA032422

(570) 602-7840

1132

Handyman Services

All types of home repairs & alterations Plumbing, Carpentry, Electrical No job too small.

Free Estimates.

570-256-3150

1162 Landscaping/ Garden

JAY S LAWN SERVICE Spring clean-ups,

mowing,mulching, power washing and more!

Free Estimates 570-574-3406

NEED HELP

LAWN CUT? LEAVES RAKED? GENERAL YARD WORK? MULCHING? Responsible Senior student.

Mountain Top, White Haven, Drums & Conygham area.

Call Justin 570-868-6134

1204

Painting & Wallpaper

MARTY S PAINTING

Interior & Exterior Top Quality Work 570-468-9079

CNA s Join our outstanding team of dedicated caregivers!

Full-Time positions- evening & night shifts Part Time positions - all shifts

Competitive Pay Rates & Benefits Package We are looking to fill these healthcare career opportunities immediately!

To apply please visit Birchwood Rehab & Nursing Center to complete an application. We are located at 395 Middle Road, Nanticoke PA or call 570-735-2973

WEEKENDER, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 3, 2013

LOOK WHAT YOU MISSED

Mykki Blanco @ Downtown Arts • 03.29.13

Photos by Jason Riedmiller • For more photos, go to www.theweekender.com

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FOR MORE PHOTOS OF GEO, VISIT THEWEEKENDER.COM. PHOTOS BY AMANDA DITTMAR

HOMETOWN: SWOYERSVILLE FAVORITE WEEKENDER FEATURE: MODEL OF THE WEEK WHO DO YOU ADMIRE? ANYONE WITH A HOT TUB, AND AJ STORTZ.

my LOWER END

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WANT TO BE FEATURED? SEND TWO RECENT PHOTOS, YOUR FULL NAME, HOMETOWN, AGE, & PHONE NUMBER TO MODEL@THEWEEKENDER.COM.

WEEKENEDER, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 3, 2013

GEO AGE: 20

2013

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WEEKENDER,

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3

WANT TO BE FEATURED? SEND TWO RECENT PHOTOS, YOUR FULL NAME, HOMETOWN, AGE, & PHONE NUMBER TO MODEL@THEWEEKENDER.COM.

CANDACE DEXHEIMER

AGE: 29 HOMETOWN: LAKE ARIEL FAVORITE WEEKENDER FEATURE: NOVEL APPROACH. WHAT’S SOMETHING MOST PEOPLE DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU? I CAN’T WHISTLE.

weekender

FOR MORE PHOTOS OF CANDACE, VISIT THEWEEKENDER.COM. PHOTOS BY AMANDA DITTMAR WARDROBE PROVIDED BY BRATTY NATTY’S BOUTIQUE

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WEEKENDER, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 3, 2013

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