FEATURED COLUMNIST
How to Turn Apartness Into Your Creative Asset
D
o you know what it feels like to be different or outside of a particular group? Most of us, sooner or later, experience the feeling. Exclusion at the hands of others is never fun. Near the end of my 7th grade school year, the private school I attended announced its closure. My father made arrangements for my transfer to another private school.
by John P. Weiss
The new private school was exclusive and catered to well-todo families. The first day of my 8th grade school year was disorienting and stressful. The teachers were pleasant, but my fellow students were cliquish and unfriendly. I complained about it to my mother, who told me that kids are immature. Of course, adults can be immature, too. “I don’t really understand this. When Me in my 8th-grade uniform. you have so many people, each one inevitably fascinating, why would you limit yourself to only those like you?”— Jodi Picoult, Off the Page
16 / July 2021 / Scotts Valley Times www.tpgonlinedaily.com
I only knew one other boy at the school. Like me, he transferred from our old school. We lunched alone together for a few weeks, feeling like social lepers. But then he became absorbed in a small group of boys he knew from his neighborhood. And so, I ate lunch alone. Make the world a little less cruel and heartless Physical education class was the worst. Team captains selected players, and I was among the dregs who were chosen last. Not because I lacked ability, just status. One lunch break, I tried humor to break the ice. I took the plastic spoon for my peach cup and hid it under my shoe. Then I turned to a few kids lunching near me and said, “Hey, have you guys seen my contact lens? I dropped it.” The kids looked at me weirdly. Then I stood up and crunched on the spoon beneath my shoe. The kids sat speechless, staring at me for a second, and then they went back to chattering amongst themselves. Epic fail. I decided humor was not a viable path to making new friends. So I resigned myself to eating lunch alone. I told my father about the failed spoon joke at school, and how I didn’t like the other kids. Then I asked him what I was doing wrong. “Just be yourself, Johnny. Don’t worry about the other kids. Let the best of who you are shine,” my father said. “It’s not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world. It’s our job to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless.”— L. R. Knost Each recess and lunch, I found refuge in the library, where I enjoyed reading books and drawing cartoons in my binder. In fact, I increasingly escaped into my artwork as a way to pass the time. A teacher noticed my creative abilities and often chatted with me in the library. She learned that, in addition to my drawing talents, I played the piano and liked to sing. She suggested I join the cast of the school’s annual holiday music production. At first, I declined, since I didn’t know anyone. But somehow the teacher got me to sign up, and before I knew it, I was selected to be a dancer. My assigned partner was a lovely Iranian girl who boarded at the school.
She blushed and so did he hanks to the musical production rehearsals, I became friends with my dance partner and a few of the other performers. Being from Iran, my dance partner shared her own feelings of awkwardness and exclusion. We became kindred spirits. The rest of my 8th-grade year improved. I had a few students from the musical production to hang out with, and especially my new Iranian friend. In December, shortly before graduation, the holiday musical was held. My parents attended, and it was a big night for me. There was thunderous applause, and afterward, I introduced my dance partner to my parents. Pictures were taken, and my new friend hugged me tightly. We chatted excitedly, sometimes finishing one another’s thoughts. I remember feeling a little flutter of affection in my heart. “She blushed and so did he. She greeted him in a faltering voice, and he spoke to her without knowing what he was saying.” — Voltaire, Candide I learned a lot that 8th-grade year. I stopped trying to win friends with lame jokes. I accepted my apartness and used it to focus on reading and drawing in the library. My creativity was noticed by a teacher, which led to my participating in the musical production. If you use your apartness to hone your creative skills and unique talents, doors can open up for you. They recognized in each other “an apartness” Most people have read the book or seen the movie “To Kill A Mocking Bird,” by the late Harper Lee. It’s a remarkable story about racial injustice and the destruction of innocence.
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