POWER the of SHOWING UP

WRITTEN BY: GLORIA MCGRATH

So many of us have been on the receiving end of difficult conversations. This one rocked me: my friend was reaching out with a health scare. She is my peer, my friend, we are “too young” for these types of calls. I was ill-prepared.

It started with a text regarding my availability because she needed “a few minutes to talk”. She never approaches me this way. I caught my breath and responded on the exhale. “Of course,” I replied, “when is a good time?” My mind immediately jumped to the health of her parents, which has been rocky. I thought about her children and the plethora of concerns that hang in the balance of parenting. I thought about her marriage, her partner, her career. I did not expect it to be about her.

“They found a lump in my right breast,” she began the call. None of the usual greetings, just straight to the business at hand. She proceeded to discuss pending follow-ups, what brought her to seek an evaluation in the first place and how she hadn’t shared details before now because she “didn’t want to make a fuss”.

The phone calls, late night texts and tears flooded in. The vulnerable conversations about wants and needs challenged my emotional bandwidth. The anxiety was overwhelming at times due to the fear of the unknown. In the calmer moments of being present to her, when I could think and feel fully, I felt incredibly alive.

I held space for her to be honest and open, and in doing so, I opened myself up to do the same. I showed up. Not only for her but for myself. I became incredibly focused on her: asked the tough questions, challenged the emotionally-based decisions, and encouraged full awareness of all the possibilities. Our friendship is rooted in her ability to count on me in these moments, as I know she would do the same for me.

All of these moments occurred in the mix of me caring for my own family. My husband and daughters were distinctly aware of my exposed state before I had even shared it. “Are you ok? You seem off,” was the first ask from my husband. In usual form, I brushed it off: too busy with the dinner on the stove, puppy at my feet and our daughters in the room that were counting on the consistency of our nighttime routine.

Managing the kitchen clean-up and the bedtime routine allowed me some space to decompress. Completing tasks is something I’m good at and helps me re-organize my brain. I confessed to my girls that I was worried about a friend to ease their worried minds. Unwittingly showing them how friends care for each other even when they aren’t together.

When we had a moment alone, I melted into my husband with an honest confession. The words and fears and tears tumbled out. I swore him to secrecy when I didn’t need to. We bonded over shared apprehensions. A deeper connection between the two of us emerged as we contemplated what we would do if it were us.

Over the coming months, we walked through fire and emerged unscathed. Her lump was a benign cyst. There was nothing to be done but routine follow-up. Our friendship forever cemented in strength through fear – a momentary blip in our lives that empowered us to show up for ourselves and each other.

(Male) $5,500 Cartier Large Tank Watch | $2,390 TIVOL 18k White Gold Wedding Band 7mm Satin Finish (Female) $12,690 Mariani 18k Yellow Gold and Diamond Chain Dangle Drop Earrings | $49,500 TIVOL 14.18cts 18k Yellow Gold and Diamond Riviera Necklace | $15,360 Mariani 18k Yellow and White Gold Lucilla Collection Necklace with 2.84cts Diamonds | $9,680 Mariani 18k White Gold Lucilla Collection Necklace with 1.85cts in Diamonds | $24,800 Cartier Panthère De Cartier Watch | $91,390 Rahaminov 3.01cts Oval Diamond and 18k White Gold Ring with 0.62ct Diamond Halo | $14,960 Mariani Phantom Collection 18k White Gold and Plated Black Alloy Bangle with 2.62cts in Diamonds | $12,670 Mariani 18k Yellow Gold Oval Bangle with 1.35cts in Diamonds | $10,210 Mariani 1.39cts Diamond Bangle in 18k White Gold | $11,970 Mariani 1.39cts Diamond Bangle in 18k Yellow Gold | $11,640 Mariani 18k Station Wide Band with 0.49ct Diamonds

“Y” Necklace

1.29cts

Diamonds |

18k Yellow Gold Black Rhodium Charm Bracelet with 2.20cts in Diamonds | $24,480 Mariani 18k Yellow and White Gold Elettra Collection 3 Row Bracelet with 3.78cts in Diamonds | $194,290 4.56cts Platinum Three Stone Oval Ring | $4,430 Anna Maria Cammilli Dune Collection 18k Yellow Gold Sunrise Ring | $8,480 Mariani 18k Yellow Gold Bracelet with 1.09cts in Diamonds | $8,350 Penny Preville 18k Yellow Gold Medium Engraved Hinged Bangle Classic Collection Bracelet | $15,070 Penny Preville Galaxy Collection 18k Yellow Gold and Diamond Bangle | $20,165 Penny Preville 18k Yellow Gold Classic Collection Three Row Bangle with 2.42 in Diamonds (Right) $1,870 Lika Behar 24k Yellow Gold, Diamond, and Kingman Turquoise My World Ring | $3,880 Lika Behar Joyce Cuff with Oxidized Sterling Silver, 24k Yellow Gold, Turquoise and Diamonds | $2,640 24k Yellow Gold and Turquoise Drop Earrings | $1,200 Dylan Necklace with 24k Yellow Gold, Oxidized Sterling Silver, Diamond and Turquoise | $2,170 Lika Behar 36” inch Keller Multi-Chain Necklace | $10,480 Lika Behar 22” Chill-Link Necklace | $2,420 Lika Behar Oxidized Sterling Silver, 24k Yellow Gold, and Diamond Keller Cuff Bracelet | $2,900 Cartier Small Tank Must Watch | $42,800 KWIAT 2.10cts ASHOKA Platinum and Diamond Ring

(Left Female) $4,995 Penny Preville 18k Yellow Gold Diamond Amulet Drop Earrings | $14,875 Penny Preville 18k Yellow Gold Choker Necklace with 2.28cts in Diamonds | $9,780 Penny Preville 18k Yellow Gold Amulet “Y” Necklace with 1.29cts in Diamonds | Penny Preville Bangles $4,995 18k Yellow Gold with 0.52ct Diamonds, $5,830 0.77ct Blue Sapphire, $7,500 0.90ct Pavé Diamonds, $5,745 0.77ct Pink Sapphire, $6,750 0.71ct Emerald | $27,500 Cartier Tank 18k Yellow Gold | $35,420 TIVOL 5.30cts Oval Diamond Eternity Band | $1,320 TIVOL 18k Yellow Gold Setting with $23,380 TIVOL 2cts Oval Diamond | $25,430 TIVOL 8.40cts 5-Row Diamond Ring (Left Male) $3,950 TIVOL 8mm Platinum Band with 0.11cts Round Diamond Channel | $2,820 Baume & Mercier Hampton Watch (Above Left) $7,600 Pasquale Bruni Giardini Segreti Collection Earrings | $10,600 Pasquale Bruni 18k Rose Gold Giardini Segreti Collection Necklace | $6,750 Pasquale Bruni 18k Rose Gold Giardini Segreti Collection Ring with 0.48ct in Diamonds | $5,450 Pasquale Bruni 18k Rose Gold Giardini Segreti Collection Ring with 0.38ct in Diamonds | $8,900 Pasquale Bruni 18k Giardini Segreti Rose Gold Flower Bracelet | $26,600 Jaeger LeCoultre Rendez-Vous Night & Day Watch (Above Right) $15,800 KWIAT 18k Yellow Gold Inside/Outside Oval Hoop Earrings with 3.77cts in Diamonds $13,750 Penny Preville Stardust Collection Halfway Choker | $7,500 KWIAT 18k Yellow Gold and Diamond Demi Riviera Necklace | $9,680 Mariani 18k White Gold Lucilla Collection Necklace with 1.85cts in Diamonds