RaisingKids Oct/Nov 10 by Tracey Garde

in association with

October / November 2010

Mamma mia!

Actress and mother of two, Ilse Klink is doing it all!

Farmyard fashion! Nappy cake know-how All stressed out and nowhere to go?

Juggling kids and a career can be stressful!

When only the breast will do! ISSN 2070-6219 Oct/Nov 2010 R19.95 (Vat Incl.)

Childhood depression The silent epidemic

Visit RaisingKids digimag online! www.raising-kids.co.za

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Publisher TLG Publishing (Pty)Ltd

editorial comment

Managing Editor Tracey Garde editor@raising-kids.co.za 082.460.6007 Advertising Advertising Sales Executive Michelle van Rensburg sales@raising-kids.co.za 079 506 5495 Copy Editor Sharon de Beer info@raising-kids.co.za Art Director Eileen Harrison design@raising-kids.co.za General enquiries info@raising-kids.co.za Account queries accounts@tlgpublishing.co.za Photographer Wayne Potgieter 082.853.6873 wayne@digisky.co.za Visit our website for adver tising deadlines, technical specifications and advertising rates. www.raising-kids.co.za Printing PaarlWeb Gauteng Tracey Rebello General competition rules: Winners will be notified telephonically or by email. Prizes are not transferable nor may they be exchanged for cash. The judges’ decision is final and no correspondence will be entered into.

Postal Address PO Box 67269, Highveld, 0169. South Africa Tel: 012 667 3935 Fax: 086 515 5487 ISSN 2070-6219

ork commitments have meant my husband has been away from home for varying lengths of time of late, leaving me to experience first-hand the challenges of what single parenting would be like should I be left ‘holding the babies’ so to speak. It’s by no means an easy task, so when we were offered the opportunity to chat to Ilse Klink (page 12) about her experience as a single mom with a demanding career and two kids, we were pleased to find out how she manages to do it all – and with such ease. We recently spent a weekend away with a group of friends, which was the ideal way to welcome the warmer weather. While away, my husband and I realised how big our girls are becoming, since the other kids accompanying us were much younger and still required so much ‘hands on’ attention. Our girls, in comparison, don’t need our cuddles to put them to sleep anymore, they don’t need us to constantly entertain them and they would prefer to spend time with the other babies than sit chatting to us. While this is a relief in some ways, it is almost sad to see them becoming so independent and it made us long for the days when they did need us for every little thing. Following Colleen and Rick’s first pregnancy experience (page 16) has made me feel quite broody again! We returned, from our glorious weekend away, to the harsh reality of everyday life where the recession is still taking its toll on many of us and this is evident on the faces of most people we pass on the street. In these trying times we shouldn’t underestimate the amount of stress our kids experience either. I recently attended a seminar where the speakers presented case studies of kids as young as three years of age who were experiencing depression and anxiety, mostly as a result of the pressures of modern living. Times are certainly tough for most of us, but we need to try to keep our ‘adult’ worries to ourselves and out of earshot of the kids so that they can enjoy the treasured experience of childhood for as long as possible. We are pleased to welcome experts in this field, Marié Otto and Liesl van der Sandt, to our team of contributors (page 32). They will be guiding us through some very real topics pertaining to childhood anxieties over the next few issues. On a lighter note, summer is on our doorstep and our EarthChild fashion pages were shot at Irene Dairy Farm in Centurion as the weather really lent itself to this outdoor adventure. As you will see from the pictures on pages 50 to 55, our little models had a ball running around and enjoying the natural surroundings. It really is a lovely place to take the kids to and I urge our readers to use this time of year to take time out to enjoy the warmer weather with your kids – walk around the garden bare foot, plant a new flower garden or just lie on the grass and make pictures out of the clouds...

All work published in RaisingKids magazine is protected by copyright. Only with written permission from the publisher may any part of this magazine be reproduced or adapted in any form. We welcome contributions to RaisingKids magazine, but the publisher of this magazine retains unrestricted rights to edit submitted material. We do not accept responsibility for material submitted and cannot guarantee the return MAGAZINE PUBLISHERS ASSOCIATION OF SOUTH AFRICA

of any original material. The publisher’s opinion is not necessarily that published in RaisingKids magazine and the publisher does not accept any liability of any nature that may arise from the contents of the magazine.

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

Section

contents News and reviews

Fantastic offers and giveaways on reviewed products in this issue!

Mamma mia! How does she do it all?

Ilse Klink is an accomplished actress and single mother of two – how does she manage?

Our Pregnancy

Colleen and Rick are 20 weeks pregnant... they update us on their pregnancy progress.

Nappy cake know-how

We show you how to ‘do it yourself’– it’s a piece of cake!

Ten top tips for new moms MamMa mia! How does she do it all?. Page 12.

We welcome clinic sister, Lisa Parks, to our team and she offers some triedand-tested tips for new parents.

When only the breast will do

Debbie offers nutritional advice on the do’s and don’ts when breastfeeding.

Learning through play

We take a look at what stimulation baby needs from one to four months of age.

Childhood depression – a silent epidemic

Expert play therapist, Marié Otto, gives us the facts and tells us what to look out for.

Breaking through with biologics Learning through play. Page 28.

Greg and Shirean Bouwer share their daughter Kiona’s story with us and tell us how treatment with biologics changed their lives.

All stressed out and nowhere to go?

Doctor Knight – GP, wife and mother of three knows just how moms feel and shares her insight and knowledge on how best to overcome daily stress.

Fashion pages: spring is here!

EarthChild offers us natural fashion options for down-to-earth children.

Cat-astrophe!

What? No cat? Venessa Dace lets the ‘cat out of the bag’ as to why her family has to do without a feline friend.

Of dads and ogres

Why do kids hero-worship Dad? Russell Bennett looks at popular children’s entertainment and finds that the way dad is portrayed in the movies is definitely not the reason why. Of dads and ogres. Page 60.

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

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news&reviews It’s party time at Founded in 1993, Maxi’s has successfully positioned itself as a unique and innovative family restaurant which serves a wide range of tasty and wholesome meals. Maxi's has always been committed to serving superior quality food, made to order from the best ingredients and in the most generous portions. A recent menu makeover not only contains our delicious food offerings which will please any rumbling tummy, but also offers a fun and easy children’s menu that is shaped as a game console allowing children to point out their favourite foods in a fun, interactive way – great for kids who can’t read yet, but know what they want!

Ceres Fruit Juice in Tetra Pak – smart for your health as well as the planet! Smart consumers care about a product’s impact on the environment – that’s why Ceres Fruit Juice packed in Tetra Pak is the best possible packaging when choosing fruit juice. Tetra Pak, one of the most environmentally friendly packaging materials around, ensures that South Africa’s premium fruit juice brand is a smart choice and because Ceres Fruit Juice does not need to be refrigerated until opened, this further decreases the carbon footprint from the factory to the store, to the home. With no added sugar and 100% preservative and colourant free, Ceres Fruit Juice is a super healthy beverage option for your family whilst caring about Mother Earth! For more information on Ceres Fruit Juice, visit www.ceres.co.za and for more information on Tetra Pak visit www.tetrapak.co.za.

Giveaway! For your chance to win a kiddies party at Maxi’s for up to 10 children valued at R350 which includes meal packs consisting of a kiddies’ meal, a cold drink and a toy, simply SMS the word ‘Maxi’s’ together with one word that best describes your recent Maxi’s eating experience to 34509 before 30 November 2010. For more information and to find the Maxi’s restaurant closest to you visit www.maxis.co.za or contact 011 608 1999. Please note that all SMS entries are charged at R2 each.

Maskew Miller Longman Literature Awards The Maskew Miller Longman Literature Awards, now in its fourth year, is the only competition to call for entries in all official languages. Bongani’s Secret, written by Gail Smith, was the winner in the English Children’s Book category.

Bongani’s Secret

Giveaway For your chance to win one of 3 copies of Bongani’s Secret by Gail Smith, SMS the word ‘Bongani’ to 34509 before 30 November 2010. Please note that all SMS entries are charged at R2 each.

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

by Gail Smith ISBN: 9780636112056 Bongani is a smart, funny, loveable teenager who is struggling to manage his tricky life. Someone in his class has discovered his terrible secret and Bongani must find him and silence him. This fast-paced, humorous story examines serious issues with wisdom and sensitivity. It will entertain and provoke even the most reluctant readers. It is suitable for ages 9 - 14, and has notes and activities for English and Life Orientation that meet the requirements of the curriculum.

news&reviews

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The Survival Guide to Parenthood by Beverly Milun ISBN: 9780620464932 In this modern day with its pressures and complex relationships, how do we remain optimistic, balanced and in control? How do we build healthy, happy relationships with our children? In her newly published book, The Survival Guide to Parenthood, Beverley Milun seeks to assist parents to develop a strong self-esteem in order to be able to cope and thrive in their relationships with their children. Bev is a talented storyteller and coupled with lighthearted illustrations, her book is entertaining and insightful. It takes us on a journey of discovery through the many experiences life throws at us and advises on how to handle each episode. Having personally overcome significant trauma at the beginning of the new millennium, Bev’s positive outlook and empowered perspective as a singlemom gives her book depth and an ability to provide practical ways to thrive in the face of difficulties, especially the challenging world of raising children. “It’s all about parenting with a purpose. It’s about doing what it takes within us in order to be the parent who brings compassion and dignity back into parenting and humanity back into the home. We want our children to want to be with us during their formative years and not look elsewhere to find a feeling of belonging,” Bev adds.

Giveaway For your chance to win one of 10 copies of The Survival Guide to Parenthood by Beverly Milun, SMS the word ‘survival’ to 34509 before 30 November 2010. Please note that all SMS entries are charged at R2 each.

Great reading for kids Are your kids ready for adventure? Then let them join Will Solvit in a series of adventures that will keep boys ages 7 - 13 riveted and encourage reluctant readers to read. There are 4 books in the series and each book contains a special decoder to decode pictures inside the book! Will Solvit, the main character of this series, is an ordinary ten-year-old boy who enjoys normal stuff like skateboarding, video games and comic books. After he loses his mom and dad in a dinosaur-infested jungle, he finds out that there is nothing ordinary about him at all and discovers that he comes from a long line of adventurers, spies, inventors and even astronomers! Will still has to figure out what his special skill will be though… The Will Solvit series includes: Will Solvit and the Dreaded Droids Will Solvit and the Mission of Menace Will Solvit and the Mummy’s Curse Will Solvit and the T-Rex Terror

ISBN: ISBN: ISBN: ISBN:

9781407589800 9781407589817 9781407589794 9781407589824

Giveaway For your chance to win one of 3 sets of the Will Solvit series of books, SMS the word ‘Solvit’ to 34509 before 30 November 2010. Please note that all SMS entries are charged at R2 each.

Available online and at leading bookstores nationwide.

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

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news&reviews

Henry and Hetty make household cleaning fun! Adorable Hetty and her brother, Henry, make cleaning your home fun! These two dedicated hard workers take care not to disturb sleeping children while they do their chores as they have the unique ability to adjust their sound levels while still delivering an optimum performance. These little vacuum cleaners have no trouble moving around your home as their 10 meter cable storage and rewind system is one of their most remarkable features. Hetty and Henry are true professionals in every sense of the word. These siblings are more than just vacuum cleaners; they’ll become part of your family! Hetty and Henry are available from Numatic International. For more information call 0861 686 284 or visit www.numatic.co.za.

Giveaway To win your very own Hetty or Henry vacuum cleaner valued at R2 790 each, SMS ‘Vacuum’ to 34509 before 30 November 2010. Numatic International will even include a Mini-Henry or Mini-Hetty toy vacuum cleaner so that your child can join in the cleaning fun! Please note that all SMS entries are charged at R2 each.

What makes your toddler tick? Find out at the 2010 Toddler Sense Seminars Join Sr. Ann Richardson, the ‘sense-able’ baby and toddler expert, co-author of ‘Baby Sense’, ‘Sleep Sense’ and author of ‘Toddler Sense’ at the annual Toddler Sense seminars to gain valuable insight into what makes your toddler tick. Together with several guest speakers, Ann will discuss hot topics such as, toddler sleep, health and nutrition, managing behaviour and discipline, potty training, the power of play and should our toddlers watch TV? For bookings, visit www.toddlersense.co.za or email toddlersense@toptots.co.za. Alternatively contact Debbie on 031 262 4962/082 467 8236. The cost is R290 per person, includes tea and prizes, and each person will receive a goody bag filled with exciting giveaways. 2 October 2010 at Raddison Blu Hotel, Port Elizabeth 9 October 2010 at Rosebank Union Church, Sandton, Johannesburg 16 October 2010 at Kelvin Grove Club, Newlands,Cape Town 23 October 2010 at Nkulisa Conference Centre, Umbilo, Durban

Giveaway For your chance to win one of 5 copies of ‘Toddler Sense’ by Sr. Ann Richardson sms the word ‘Sense’ to 34509 before 30 November 2010. Please note that all SMS entries are charged at R2 each.

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

news&reviews

Section

Have you visited our DigiMag? Visit www.raising-kids.co.za and enjoy the convenience of reading RaisingKids anywhere anytime!

Don’t miss the fresh and fabulous festive season celebration at Spier! Spier wine farm’s ‘Festival of White Lights,’ on Friday, 26 November at 20h00 is a novel way to celebrate the start of the festive season. It includes a dazzling display of light – fire dancers, sculptures and lanterns – and a diverse collection of artistic performances. The festival is a journey across the estate, which starts at the Spier Deli. The procession will be led by Spier’s ‘Angel of Light’ on stilts. Arrive early and purchase a picnic basket to enjoy with Spier’s award-winning wines, or linger longer at the Spier Hotel to the sound of bluesy tunes after the event. R100 for adults and R60 for children under 12 (includes a glass of wine for adults). Book through Computicket 083 915 8000 and visit www.spier.co.za for more info.

Cape Town International Kite Festival – 23 and 24 October 2010 ‘Uplifting Mind and Body’ is the theme for the 16th Cape Town International Kite Festival, which is happening on 23 and 24 October 2010 in Muizenberg and is proudly hosted by Cape Mental Health in association with Heart 104.9FM. This is Africa’s biggest kite festival and attracts over 20 000 visitors, including some of the biggest names in kiting in the world who fly in to show off their magnificent kite creations. With kite-making, kite-flying, food stalls, kiddies’ rides, a full programme of entertainment (including 2007 Idols winner Jody Williams) and an eclectic craft market, this is family entertainment at its best. The Creative Eco-Kite Competition during the Festival challenges children, adults and companies to make their own kites from waste or recycled materials. The Boomerang

Edu-Kite Schools’ Competition brings together children from primary schools and schools for learners with special educational needs to decorate kites and take part in the mass fly. For the first time this year organisers will be looking for the best example of a ‘Swaeltjie’ or Swallow Kite for the Heritage Kite Award. The Cape Town International Kite Festival will be open from 10h00 to 18h00 each day and takes place on the lawns surrounding Zandvlei, Muizenberg. There is lots of parking and easy access by train (False Bay or Muizenberg stations). Entry is just R15 for adults and R5 for children. All profits go directly to Cape Mental Health to support its mental health services for people in disadvantaged communities. For more information on the Cape Town International Kite Festival and Cape Mental Health visit www.capementalhealth.co.za or contact them on 021 447 9040 or info@cmhs.co.za.

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

Bennetts - The Bottom Line Question from Shanantha Naidoo, Cape Town: My baby is four months old, very active and cheerful, but recently I have noticed that he is a bit irritable and does not want to sleep. He has also developed a fine rash around his mouth. Could he be teething and is the saliva causing him to be itchy around the mouth? Your concern is one that plagues many moms and dads. The symptoms that you describe are more than likely a result of baby entering the teething phase. Some babies get through this stage with relatively little discomfort while others have a nasty time of it. Teething normally starts between 4 - 9 months of age, with most babies’ teeth appearing at about 6 months of age, although there is no hard-and-fast rule on this. Your son has started the ‘pre-teething’ phase and this can continue for a few months before the first tooth even makes an appearance. The excess drooling is normally one of the first signs that pre-teething has begun and it is the excess saliva that causes the fine red rash around the mouth that you mention. This rash can become very red and angry, especially if your baby enjoys a dummy. Invest in a couple of bibs, because the saliva can make the entire front of baby’s outfit soaking wet and this can cause additional irritation and discomfort which may cause him to become quite miserable and grumpy as you have mentioned. Applying a barrier cream to the area around the mouth can help with the rash and Bennetts Baby Bum Crème is great as a multipurpose ointment in this regard. Do not be put off by ‘Bum cream’ in the title – as long as it is a barrier cream with a water repellent base, then it is safe to use around the mouth too. The excess saliva can also make baby’s stools more explosive or runny as the saliva is being swallowed as well. Change baby’s nappy more frequently to make sure that acidic stools don’t burn baby’s bum and a baby bum barrier cream is recommended to keep baby’s bum as dry and rash-free as possible. Baby may seem feverish and have a raised temperature during this time. Paediatricians generally maintain that teething should not cause fevers, but try telling that to a mom at 2am when her baby is screaming in pain or is feverish for no apparent reason! A mild fever is quite common as a result of teething in my experience, but a fever higher than 38ºC is not considered to be a symptom of teething alone. If you are in any doubt as to whether your baby is just teething or really ill, rather consult your doctor. Some days will be worse than others: thankfully most bouts of teething only last a few days, after which time you can expect a reprieve of about six weeks before the next bout of

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

teething occurs. Unfortunately, teething can also disrupt your baby’s sleep pattern and it seems like your little one is experiencing this problem. As already mentioned, teething should not last longer than a few days after which you and baby will hopefully have some time to catch up on lost sleep, but the disruption of your baby’s sleep pattern may take a few days longer to correct as his routine has been disturbed. My advice would be to continue with your normal routine in spite of this, making sure that you have treated any teething related symptoms to the best of your ability. It may be necessary to administer a mild paediatric antiinflammatory if pain is severe. Remember that gums are inflamed as a result of teeth trying to push through them which causes the inflammation, so it is better to use a paediatric anti-inflammatory medication rather than an antipyretic (fever reducing medication). Your pharmacist or doctor will be able to advise you on which products are safe for baby to use. There are many homeopathic medications, should you prefer this route, many of which contain belladonna, chamomile or clove oil which have pain-relieving properties. Many teething powders and gels are also available which are rubbed onto the gums and so provide some relief for baby. Teething rings that are placed in the freezer or fridge will help cool baby’s mouth and his chomping will help teeth break through a little quicker, but be careful that baby doesn’t hurt himself by overvigorous chewing. Everything that goes into baby’s mouth must be kept as germ-free as possible, as ruptured gums can become easily infected. There is no medication that can soothe away teething blues like a mother’s love. Your little one will be in need of lots of extra love and cuddles, as he will be feeling sore and uncomfortable; just having you hold him will help soothe him through this difficult time. To quote Mark Twain on the subject of teething: “Adam and Eve had many advantages, the principal one being that they escaped teething.” If only there was a way that we could go to sleep one night and wake up the next morning and have a mouth full of teeth without the agony – I imagine there are a million moms out there agreeing with me on this! Good luck! Sister Lisa Park R/N, R/M, R/PN, R/CN Send your question to info@raising-kids.co.za and should your question be chosen, you will receive a hamper of products courtesy of Bennetts.

Letters

Are we expecting too much from our kids? As a Grade 6 and 7 teacher as well as a mother to two boys aged 11 and 15 (one of whom has ADHD), I have recently had cause to question a certain aspect of modern parenting. After having watched a TV advert in which a mom exhausted herself trying to get through her daughter’s hectic school day, I sat

my husband and myself. Add to this the obligatory homework and when do our children have time to be just children? By offering them all these opportunities that we perhaps did not have ourselves as children, are we in some way complicit in making them feel that to not take advantage of these opportunities would mean they would be disappointing us? No wonder they often feel overwhelmed! In today’s fast-paced world where everything is geared

through an assembly where students were awarded prizes for

towards instant gratification, should we not insist that at least

a staggering array of after-school activities including karate,

part of our children’s time is dedicated to the type of ‘me time’

gymnastics, horse-riding, BMX, motor-cross, modelling,

that we, as adults, all crave? Even holidays are crammed full

ballroom dancing, guitar and the list goes on. I sat there thinking

of extra activities designed to give our children ‘the edge’:

how wonderful it is for our children to have these opportunities,

extra reading, maths and sports coaching to catch up or get

but is it?

ahead. When I mentioned the recommended ‘holiday reading

Since most schools insist that students participate in at least

programme’ to my 11-year-old, he stared at me in horror and

one, preferably two school activities, the activities listed above

said, “I thought holidays were for relaxing mom! Don’t I ever

would be over and above the school activities, held either late

get a chance to just play?” It is a good question and with this in

afternoon/evening or over the weekends. My eldest son leaves

mind, I have decided to dedicate the holidays to (in the words of

home at 05h45 and often returns after 20h30, having sometimes

my eldest) “just chilling”, be that staring into space on a sunny

taken part in up to three activities per day! He is also involved in

afternoon or sleeping until noon if the mood grabs us. No plans,

school activities most Saturdays and some Sundays. Admittedly

no activities and, hopefully, no guilt!

this is partly his choice, but condoned and supported by both

Kim Hall

winning tip Love your Lego I recently visited a toy store to purchase a gift of Lego for a friend’s child. This much-loved building block has been around forever it would seem, but having last bought Lego 16 years ago for my own children I was not prepared for how expensive it has become. I received Lego as a child (I am now in my late 30’s) and the two Lego-filled milk crates that have been collected over the years have seen me, both my sisters as well as all our

children through many a bored moment. I am so grateful that we never threw it out and having seen the new prices I don’t think I ever will, although I definitely may be inspired to keep adding to our current collection! My advice – quality toys are worth paying for when they last for 40 years or more, are easy to keep clean and store away for future generations; toys may very well be the new heirlooms of the future so think twice before throwing them out! Cecilia Pinkham

Letterbox: The author of the winning letter in each issue of RaisingKids will receive a R500 Toys R Us gift card to redeem at any Toys R Us store nationwide. Simply send us your ‘Letter to the Editor’ to editor@raising-kids.co.za. Win a Babies R Us gift card: Send us your ‘Who’s bump is it anyway’ tip to editor@raising-kids.co.za and if your tip is chosen as the winning tip in future issues of RaisingKids, you will win a R500 Babies R Us gift card.

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

Feature

Mamma mia! How does she do it all?

Ilse Klink (far right) with Kate Normington and Gina Shmukler in Mamma Mia! Photo credit Pat Bromilow-Downing

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

Feature

ape Town born performer, Ilse Klink, is an accomplished singer, actress, television personality and mom! She has been in the entertainment industry for the past 15 years and has played roles in many successful productions including Rent, The Full Monty and Slegs Vir Almal, but she is best known for her role as ‘Vanessa’ in Isidingo, for which she was awarded an Avanti award in 2000. Since her career began, Ilse has been involved with another important role – raising her two children, daughter Tyler (17 years old) and Joshua (5 years old). We chatted to this single mom and found out how she manages to do it all... Ilse’s career was just starting to take off when her daughter, Tyler, was still a baby and she describes this period of her life as being “quite challenging”. Living with her parents at the time was a great help she says, but when Tyler was just 6 months old she relocated to Bloemfontein. “I still marvel at how I got through those first two years. I worked incredibly hard doing two shows at a time and not making ends meet. I grew up fast! I was determined to get my career going, so I did what I had to do!” she adds. She credits her ability to get through those years to her incredible child minder, Celina, who was her ‘rock’ when it came to raising Tyler. By the time Joshua arrived, Ilse was well established in her career and although there is a huge age gap between her kids, she hasn’t found too much has changed in terms of parenting over the years. She relies on her instincts and own rules when it comes to raising her kids: “There is so much info out there that you can really drive yourself insane if you follow the trends and imagine that your children may have syndromes that they actually don’t have!” Having a successful career, raising two kids whose needs are very different, as well as being a single mom is an accomplishment in itself, but Ilse is quick to assert that the involvement of both her children’s fathers has been a great help. She’s been fortunate in that both dads help out when there are challenges such as school runs and after school activities to contend with. Her mom is also very involved and often cooks meals which she sends over when Ilse’s time is limited. Johannesburg is home to this lively family, but should Ilse be required to spend time in Cape Town when a musical is running and this coincides with school holidays, the kids visit her there. “My days are free, so we go sightseeing and have fun together until I need to gear up for the evening show. I have lots of energy, so I am able to focus it where it needs to be.” Back home, Ilse relies on everyone to help! She has a wonderful housekeeper who mostly attends to Joshua’s needs as Tyler is quite independent now. “Tyler is a great big sister and she helps out with Joshua too. She’s at a stage where she needs a lot of emotional support (being a teenager) and she needs to

be grounded especially during exam time whilst Joshua needs a playmate most of the time. That’s when I put on my soccer boots and my ‘silly self’,” she laughs. Both kids have shown an interest in following in their famous mom’s footsteps. “Tyler would like to be a filmmaker and she is quite a talented actress whilst Joshua loves to sing,” says Ilse proudly. “Since she has been there from the start of my career, Tyler understands the challenges that come with being famous, but she is very gracious and grounded so she has no illusions about what fame entails. Joshua finds it fascinating to see me on television and sitting next to him on the couch at the same time!” she laughs. When it comes to considering auditioning for a new project, Ilse takes the location of the project and time away from her kids in addition to whether or not it would be a part she would enjoy, into consideration. She considers the time away from home as being the most important factor and she says the role must be “meaty enough” for her to want to travel away from home for it. So it would seem that Ilse manages to juggle parenting and her career very well. After years of practice, she can be proud of a job well done on both accounts! Ilse undertakes the role of ‘Rosie’ (friend of Donna) in the worldwide smash hit Mamma Mia! Experience the wonderful, irresistible story-telling magic of ABBA’s timeless songs in an enchanting tale of love, laughter and friendship. From sets to costumes, its multi-talented 31-member company and six musicians, Mamma Mia! is proudly South African. Opening at The Teatro at Montecasino in Johannesburg on Saturday, 2 October 2010, Mamma Mia! is musical entertainment for the whole family. Book at Computicket by calling 083 915 8000, visit www.computicket.com or visit your nearest Computicket outlet.

Giveaway For your chance to win one of three sets of double tickets to any midweek show (Tuesdays to Thursdays 20h00, valid from 2 October 2010 to 30 November 2010) of Mamma Mia! at The Teatro at Montecasino, simply SMS ‘Mamma Mia!’ to 34509 before 31 October 2010. Please note that tickets are subject to availability and may not be exchanged for cash or any other performance. Tickets must be collected by the prize winners from the box at Montecasino. Please note that all SMS entries are charged at R2 each.

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

www.raising-kids.co.za

RaisingKids is free online! That’s right, it’s free – and there’s no catch either!

Here’s a little something from us... to you! No more dashing out to stores – you’re just a hop, skip and click away from reading every new issue! All you have to do is access the internet, go to www.raising-kids.co.za and click onto the digimag which will open up in seconds! Flipping through the pages of our magazine has never been such fun!

Now that’s real value! But don’t take our word for it – check it out yourself… and then be sure to tell others. RaisingKids - October I November 2010

Pregnancy

Our pregnancy diary Colleen and Rick are 20 weeks pregnant. It hasn’t been all smooth sailing though…

She says…

My pregnancy started with unrelenting nausea, although, (thankfully), very little actual throwing up took place which is why I would more accurately describe morning sickness as ‘morning, noon and night sickness’! I have made quite a few changes to my diet: I have cut out caffeine (coke, coffee and chocolate), alcohol and junk foods. I have always supplemented with vitamins, so I have just ‘upped’

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

the doses in line with guidelines as recommended by nutrition expert Patrick Holford. The combination of a healthy diet and morning sickness has meant that I have lost a whopping 8 kilos! No loss (pun intended), as I really could afford to lose a couple of kilos and I have been reassured by my obstetrician that this is quite normal and (for my weight and height) quite fine at this stage. During the first trimester I was very tired thanks to the increase in my progesterone levels, so I was counting the

Pregnancy

days until I reached the second trimester, as everyone had promised me that I would experience a surge of energy. One Sunday afternoon, having wrestled unsuccessfully with a broken hosepipe, I began watering my garden frenetically using a 5L watering can. My mother laughingly pointed out that clearly the ‘energy surge’ I had been waiting for had arrived! Our 13 week scan was fantastic – our obstetrician was very accommodating and went to great lengths to explain why measurements are taken at this stage. The first set of blood tests were all good, so Rick and I were over the moon that we could publically confirm our pregnancy to everyone. That was on the Tuesday, but by the following Thursday I was bleeding. I was terrified and Rick rushed home to be with me. We phoned our obstetrician’s emergency number and he got back to us within minutes. He prescribed progesterone medication which I had to take immediately with orders to go and see him first thing the next morning. The anxiety was terrible – I think I prayed, begged and bartered with God most of the night. Our obstetrician was fantastic and very calm in the face of our panic. He showed us on the scan that there was no bleeding from the baby or the placenta. He advised us that the source of the bleeding was most probably only vaginal, which was most likely caused as a result of too much activity, but he advised that I should complete the progesterone prescription. I cried the whole day in spite of everything turning out fine in the end. The whole experience definitely drew us closer together and for the first time we really felt like parents. From then on things settled down; I started to feel more energetic and the nausea was replaced with a ‘see-food diet’! I am ravenous all day long! Currently I eat three meals and three snacks a day, the latter consisting of fruit and nuts. I now allow myself caffeine once a week to satiate my love of Frappucinos! I have also developed a taste for cupcakes and have had to exercise considerable restraint in this regard. (Sigh). Appletiser spritzers are my new drink when socialising – on the upside of not being able to drink is that Rick and I no longer have to argue about who will be the designated non-drinking driver when we go out! Then came our 17 week scan which we were very excited about as I have been dying to find out baby’s gender, although Rick was happy to wait until baby was born. I eventually persuaded him that we should know, so we did enquire, and yes, we do know, but no, we’re not saying! That’s like being told what’s in a present before you open it! My clothes have started feeling ‘snug’ so I have ventured

to the usual stores to see what’s on offer. Luckily quite a few of my friends have had babies recently and have been extremely generous in loaning me quite a few items. It’s so great getting a whole new wardrobe for free! Today (at 20 weeks) I felt ‘Splodge’ (our nickname for baby) move for the first time! It felt like tiny little butterflies or bubbles in my tummy. My pregnancy feels a lot more real now that I am showing a bump and feeling baby move.

He says…

I was very glad to see Coll starting to feel better once the morning sickness abated. I felt quite guilty when Colleen was ill. As a typical male ‘problem solver’, I wanted to fix the problem, but there really was nothing I could do so I switched to ‘damage control mode’ and just tried to help Coll through it. Tea, ginger ale and peanut butter toast is what she mostly requested, but a warning for any other chaps going through this: do not think that because your wife has asked you to go buy ginger ale for three days running that it is a good idea to buy two cases of it! Coll promptly stopped craving it and we still have ginger ale in the house months later! At the moment we can’t leave the house without Appletiser, but who knows how long this will last! Now that Coll is starting to show, our pregnancy is definitely more of a reality to me. She keeps catching me staring at her belly with a ‘Silly grin’ (her words) on my face. I also struggle to walk past her without giving the ‘Buddha belly’ a rub! Being able to feel Splodge moving has also been really fun - I can’t feel any movement, but I can feel when baby is pushing up against the outside of Coll’s stomach when my hand is resting on her tummy at the time. My only worry at the moment is the same one I have had since we first found out about the baby: money! I seem to be working longer hours which really sucks as I am home less often, but I am very conscious that the clock is ticking and soon I will have to be up in the middle of the night and home at a decent hour, so I need my new business to continue functioning while I do that. One thing that did please me, was the advice that some good friends of ours gave us to the effect that we shouldn’t buy anything for baby except the ‘big stuff’ before the baby shower, because you never know what you will be getting from friends and family. Basically, translated into ‘man talk’ this means that: “I have a few months before Coll starts talking about remortgaging the house because of the 7 million things this baby will need!”

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

Fitness

The heat is on! Summer-safe exercising for preggie moms who want to beat the heat! Is it possible to manage a pregnancy, a hot summer and an exercise routine all at the same time? It sure is. Pretty much any exercise that is safe for pregnancy is safe during the summer heat, as long as you take the proper safety measures. Keeping cool during pregnancy can be a difficult task, especially if your last trimester falls during the heat of summer. It is normal to experience a loss of energy during this stage of pregnancy, but this can become even more challenging when high temperatures and humidity are added to the mix.

Water, water, water

Water will be your best friend when pregnant, especially during the summer months. Drink lots of water to stay hydrated; dehydration can cause premature labour, urinary tract infections and a myriad of other problems such as headaches. Stay cool by exercising in water and use water to cool off – a cool shower at the end of a workout feels marvelously refreshing and will lower your body temperature.

Choose the time and place

Time of day is an important factor to consider when deciding when to exercise. Avoid exercising in the heat of the day and stay out of the sun between 11am and 3pm.

Stationary lunges

As for location, try finding an airconditioned place to exercise. This may be the time to take up prenatal class or to do your workout at the closest gym. Alternatively, walking at your local airconditioned mall is an affordable option (as long as you leave your credit card at home!

Wear the right clothes

Wear light, absorbent clothing in layers – this way you can strip them away as you heat up. Splurge a little by purchasing decent pregnancy gear to work out in. Well-fitting pregnancy workout clothes, especially in the last few months, can also help with the chafing, rubbing and general unpleasantness that comes from trying to work out in your husband’s cut-off sweats.

Don’t push too hard

Listen to your body; if you feel sluggish, stop exercising and rest.

During your pregnancy • • •

Increase your resting time while exercising. Never exercise to the point of exhaustion. Break up your exercise routine throughout the day; walk for 15 minutes in the morning, then stretch later in the day or practise strengthening exercises, then walk again in the evening for another 15 minutes.

Facing forward, take one giant step, placing one foot in line with the other. Lift your heels and balance on the front part of your feet. Keep your hips square and your weight centered evenly. Bend both knees until your rear knee is close to the floor and your front knee is positioned directly over your ankle. The movement is an ‘up and down’, not ‘forward and backward’ movement. Straighten your legs, return to the starting position and repeat.

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

Squatting with a small ball Stand upright your arms at chest height, with a small ball in your hands. Bend your knees lowering the ball until it touches your knees. Keep your back straight and push your bum out. Straighten your legs again and lift the ball back to the starting position.

Knee raises while sitting

Sit with both your legs straight in front of you. Lean back, with your hands on the floor which will support your body. Lift your one knee up towards your chest. Hold it there and return to the starting position. Alternate your legs.

Pecto ball squeezes

Hold the ball between your hands and with your elbows facing outwards. Squeeze the ball as hard as you can between your hands and relax.

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

Baby shower

Nappy cake know-how! Ingredients • Cake board • 58 white nappies • 58 elastic bands • Ribbon for decorating • A teddy or similar • Goodies for baby • Goodies for mom

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

Baby shower

Baking instructions: Step 1 • Roll the nappies and secure with elastic bands. • Make the first tier and secure with a ribbon. • Make the second tier and secure with a ribbon. • Place the second tier on top of the first tier. Step 2 • Remove a few carefully selected nappies and insert your goodies. • Make the third tier on top of the second tier and secure with a ribbon. • Remove the rolled nappy in the center of the third tier and insert the baby bottle. • Prop the teddy on top. • Decorate your cake by tying more ribbon to the securing ribbon or baby product.

Flop proof tips: • Choose plain white nappies. (We used ‘Huggies dry comfort’). • When you roll the nappies, tuck away the colour motif on the waist band. • Decide on a colour scheme before purchasing your goodies. • Not all the goodies need to be visible; they can be inserted into the center of the cake for discovery by the recipient when she unpacks the cake. • If you are on a budget, invite your friends or office colleagues to contribute an item to the cake. • Always include something for mom; body butter or products that will make her feel special too.

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

Top tips

Lisa Park, Clinic Sister Little Steps Clinic, Fourways

Lisa Park is originally from Harare, but was trained at Addington Hospital and has practised in South Africa since 1988. She has been married for 17 years and has two children of her own. Lisa currently runs her own baby clinic in Fourways, Johannesburg.

Lisa’s top ten tips for new moms Should your baby suffer with winds or cramps, crush half a

bottle of Mag Phos tablets with two plastic spoons and decant into a container before and after each feed, dip a clean finger into the powder and rub onto babies gums.

Should your milk flow be too strong causing your baby to

choke when breastfeeding, then lie on your back when feeding as they may slow down the flow.

Try to cluster feed your bay around bath time, i.e. if

breastfeeding, then offer one breast before bath time and then the other breast after the bath time. If bottle feeding, then

give the baby half the feed before bath time and the other half after bath time. This will help settle your baby into a peaceful routine at night.

Try to encourage visitors to visit in the morning, thereby

preventing over stimulation in the afternoon which is normally when your baby is more fractious.

Remember that breast fed babies can pass a stool once

in ten days or ten times in one day, but if your baby has not passed a stool every day and is bottle fed, then try adding one

When going out to the shops or visiting, cover the front

of the pram or baby seat, this will discourage strangers from

teaspoon of sticky brown sugar into 100mls of cooled boiled

wanting to peek in and wake up or over stimulate your baby.

water and offer sips throughout the day.

Swaddle your little baby when putting her to sleep;

newborn babies feel more secure when swaddled as they startle very easily.

If your baby has cradle cap, rub some olive oil onto the scalp

and leave overnight and then brush the hair gently against the growth pattern of the hair, do not wash baby’s hair every day as it can sometimes stimulate an increase in the production of oil.

When it is time for your new baby’s first injections, try

to make sure that your baby is not due for a sleep or a feed, as overtired or hungry babies do not tolerate their injections as well as a contented baby.

Remember to apply anti-inflammatory ointment (Vicks

or Arnica) to the injection site at least half-an-hour prior to the injection as well as at least three times a day for three

consecutive days after the injection; it will keeps the muscle warm which helps to reduce any swelling.

If you have a question that Lisa may be able to help you with, please send your query to info@raising-kids.co.za.

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

Nutrition

When only the breast will do. By Debbie Preston

ou did it! Congratulations mom, your little bundle is finally in your arms, those nine long months are behind you and you are now ready to embark on a new adventure – breastfeeding! The World Health Organisation (WHO)¹ promotes breastfeeding as the best source of nutrition for baby and with good reason: breast milk contains antibodies that boost your baby’s immune system; it’s rich in protein; it is also easy to digest and is known to reduce the risk of allergies. It also contains hormones that assist in baby’s cognitive and physical development. It’s a fantastic tummy toner for mom too, devouring calories through milk production and helping the uterus contract back to its pre-pregnant size with each feed. Add to this the practical benefits of breastfeeding: whenever and wherever you like, not having to spend your shoe money on formulas nor using the time to blow wave your hair to sterilise bottles! So it’s easy to understand why most moms choose this method, but whilst ‘breast may be best’ it isn’t always easy getting started. Not all babies latch successfully and the first few attempts may be frustrating. When you first bring baby home, you’ll probably feed every two hours leaving little time for sleep and if you’re expressing you’ll probably feel as though you belong in a dairy! Despite the struggle, try not to give up; there really is no better start for baby than breastfeeding and it can have far reaching positive implications for your child later in life, as your child is less at risk of being overweight and this in turn may result in lower blood pressure and cholesterol levels in adulthood. The incidence of ovarian and breast cancer are also less in mothers who breastfeed. Eating often and well is essential for a positive breastfeeding experience; now is not the time to diet. Your body works around the clock to produce milk, depleting your energy stores even while you’re relaxing with a cuppa, so you need all the energy and nutrients you can get for both you and your baby’s wellbeing. As we’re all built differently, there’s no standard recommended calorie intake, so use your hunger as a guide (and boy will you be hungry), but satiate it wisely. According to La Leche League, the recommended diet for a breastfeeding mother should be well-balanced, drawing on nutrition from all the food groups. In fact no food group is exempt, so you should be able to enjoy a healthy varied diet to produce nutrient-rich milk. There are some specific foods that can provide excellent benefits for you and baby. Salmon contains DHA, a fat that helps

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

develop a nursing baby’s nervous system and because it is low in mercury you can enjoy up to about 300grams a week. Continue to restrict your fish portions to 2 - 3 servings a week and avoid Shark, Swordfish, King Mackerel and Tilefish due to high levels of mercury. Lean beef, rich in Iron and vitamin B12, will keep your energy levels up whilst the vitamin D in eggs is important in promoting the growth of strong teeth and bones. Have at least three servings of low-fat dairy a day for additional vitamin D (plus that all-important calcium). Don’t be too quick to cut out the carbs, no matter how keen you are to become bikini-ready; grain cereals, breads, pastas and brown rice will keep your milkmaking calorie count up, they are rich in folic acids (still crucial for baby’s development) and will provide you with more energy. Fruit is still the best option for a nutritious snack. Blueberries are packed with anti-oxidants, vitamins and minerals and these will also boost your energy stores, while the vitamin C in oranges will help ward off that run-down, fluey-feeling. Look to leafy greens such as spinach, Swiss chard, mustard greens, kale and broccoli, as these are all good sources of vitamin A and a nondairy source of calcium, whilst legumes such as black beans, kidney beans, lentils and peanuts provide protein and iron. Refer to www.babycenter.com for some fantastic meal plans designed especially for breastfeeding mothers. This is all good and well, but you may be surprised to find that your easily digested breast milk is still causing your baby to experience cramps after feeding. While there is less incidence of colic amongst breastfeeding babies, what you eat and drink can directly affect the milk you produce; acidic foods, sugary foods, rich meals that often leave you feeling bloated all influence the composition of breast milk and can have a negative effect on baby. The frustrating thing is that every child is different, so there are no standard guidelines to ensure fuss-free feeds. Common trigger foods include peppers, cucumbers, cauliflower, onion, cabbage, broccoli, garlic, citrus fruits, chocolate, caffeine and full cream dairy. Symptoms can appear 4 - 24 hours after exposure through breast milk and may include fussiness, inconsolable crying and trouble sleeping. La Leche League recommends cutting out suspect foods from your diet to see if there’s any improvement. There’s a good chance that your baby will out-grow any food related sensitivities, especially if you continue to breastfeed, as this lessens the chance of baby becoming sensitised to the allergen. If you think dairy is the culprit, switching to low fat

Section

milk may improve the situation. If your family has a history of specific allergies, avoid these foods until your child is older, taking care where allergies may cause severe reactions as with shellfish and nuts. Wheat, nuts, eggs, corn, soy and fish are the most common allergy causing foods. It takes up to 10 days for substances to leave baby’s system. In the meantime offer warms baths and massage baby’s tummy in a clockwise direction or ‘cycle’ baby’s legs to relieve discomfort. I used the Natura range of homeopathic treatments to support my baby’s system, but consult your doctor if colic persists. Your hydration is vitally important too; drink at least eight glasses of water a day and avoid caffeinated beverages that become concentrated in your child’s system. And what about alcohol? Here’s the low-down according to La Leche League: ²“Alcohol passes freely into mother’s milk and has been found to peak about 30 - 60 minutes after consumption and 60 – 90 minutes when taken with food. It takes a 54kg woman about 2 - 3 hours to eliminate the alcohol in one serving of beer or wine from her body... the more alcohol consumed, the longer it takes for it to be eliminated.” Opinion is divided on the topic though: some people consider an occasional glass of wine to be acceptable, but bear in mind that up until three months of age, the liver metabolises alcohol at half the rate of an adult and an immature newborn liver will therefore be more affected. Alcohol passes in and out of your milk as it does your bloodstream; it doesn’t stay in your breast milk so there’s no need to ‘pump and dump’. Rather express clean milk before you intend to imbibe and use this for feeds until the alcohol has left your system. With a little bit of planning you can still enjoy a safe tipple or two. Your breast milk is produced on a supply and demand basis – the more baby drinks the more milk you make – but one of the most common reasons women stop breastfeeding is because they think they’re not producing enough milk. Unfortunately, we don’t come with milliliter gauges so it’s impossible to tell exactly how much your baby drinks, but if she’s producing 6 - 8 wet nappies a day and is gaining weight, then you’re doing just fine. Your baby’s clinic sister will be quick to tell you if you need to consider supplemental feeding by bottle. Boost your milk supply with products such as Weleda’s Schelen Blackthorn Berry Elixir, which stimulates lactation or Nativa’s Mom2B delicious range of multivitamin shakes. If you’re returning to work then you’ll probably be expressing, but try to breastfeed in the evenings and on weekends to keep up your milk supply. WHO recommends exclusive breastfeeding up until baby is at least 6 months old. Breast milk should remain the main source of sustenance even while introducing baby to solids. Babies are vulnerable to malnourishment during the weaning period, so it’s essential they continue to get sufficient nutrients until they completely transition to family food. Your clinic can put you in touch with a local lactation consultant or visit the La Leche League website (www.llli.org) where you will receive expert advice. Whether you’ve taken to breastfeeding like a duck to water or are tearing your hair out, keep breastfeeding for as long as you are able and for as long as baby is happy. Good luck! ¹http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-breastfeeding-benefits-youand-your-baby_8910.bc ²http://www.llli.org/FAQ/alcohol.html

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

Your baby

Baby’s milestones from birth to 6 months A word of caution before we get into this topic: the following

should only be used as a general guide as (thank goodness) we

are all different and each child is unique so a child will develop at his or her own pace. Please don’t panic if your baby is a little

slow to develop in some areas! It’s important to understand that development is rarely a linear process and sometimes in life one has to take a step backwards in order to take two steps forward,

so if there are a few hiccups along the way now and then, it’s not necessarily a train wreck. Other than nurturing and loving

your child, offering a stabile and comforting environment where

learning and confidence can grow, there is no way to ‘speed up’ the developmental process either.

The first month:

Help! Where am I? There’s so much space and light!

This is such a special time as you get to know each other

face-to-face for the first time. For the most part baby will sleep and feed, offering only fleeting moments where the two

of you can ‘connect’ consciously. Bonding is of paramount

importance now, as it sets the scene for baby to acquire her very first milestone: recognising your voice and smell as well as beginning to identify your presence as mom and main

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

caregiver. This is easily achieved if you breastfeed as the skinto-skin contact is naturally conducive to the bonding process. If you are not breastfeeding, try bottle feeding against your bare breast or skin-to-skin whenever you can – the great thing about this is that even dad can bond with baby this way when feeding (while you sleep of course!). Baby’s head will be quite wobbly, but amazingly enough, if baby is placed tummy down she should attempt to lift her head even if she doesn’t succeed. This will really depend on the size and strength of baby, so please don’t expect this of a prem baby! Also amazing (and sometimes coincidental, Dad) is that baby may attempt to copy you by sticking out her tongue in response to you doing so. Naturally, some babies are more adept at this than others! Because baby is no longer confined to the womb, she will start to unfurl like a flower, learning to stretch limbs and uncurl from the foetal position. This change may be almost imperceptible and while swaddling can be conducive to providing security to the newborn initially, you may find baby starting to resist your swaddling attempts quite vociferously as she discovers she likes to stretch, punch the air and kick her legs! There will be moments of quiet contentment where baby will begin using her brand new brain to try and focus on things.

Your baby

The second month:

Yay! It’s mom and she brought food! Hey, where did she go to now? Ah! You will start to see the first glimmers of your baby’s personality start shining through. Baby, having bonded by now, will begin to show excitement at your presence (hopefully not only because you are a food source!) and begin lifting her head for a few seconds now while lying flat on her tummy. Cooing is baby’s way of saying “I love you Mom, you’re the best!” in response to you. So enamoured of you is she, that she may even open and close her mouth in response to your talking to her. You’ll notice that her movements will become more fluid, less jerky and uncontrolled as the newborn reflexes begin to disappear. Best of all, at any time now you can expect baby’s first smile (if her eyes light up too, then it’s not just wind related!) which will melt your heart forever – you’ll know the real thing when you see it!

The third month:

You said what? Baby will start noticing that there are others in her world, but she may not be able to single anyone (other than you) out yet. She will notice that “Hey, I have hands! I can open and close them, clasp things with my fingers, swipe at things and on the odd occasion I can deliver an uncontrolled lefthook that Tyson would be proud of!” She can hold her head without support for a few seconds too. Baby will also notice that she has a voice and that when she uses it, someone comes running. Not always a good thing (sigh). Cooing will become gurgling as she begins to understand on a very primary level, the need to begin communicating. It’s okay to talk ‘baby talk’ to her in the early stages of language development, as baby needs to recognise sounds rather than words – these are the building blocks of language after all.

The fourth month:

Who’s your daddy? This is the best time for dads, siblings and grandparents because baby will start to recognise regular ‘others’ in her world. She will start to react to different voices and she will peer curiously at strangers as her eyes try to catch up to the acuity of her ears. She will also recognise sounds such as a rattle or toy and will be able to focus for a few seconds longer on items as she develops her focus. Hands will begin to explore her face and this is when fingers are more in her mouth than out, experimenting with sucking, prodding and scratching – so keep

those tiny nails short! This is the beginning of the development of hand-eye co-ordination and she is able to focus on small things as well as moving objects a few centimeters away. Head control is steady now.

The fifth month:

A beautiful mind (of her own!) She should be able to roll over completely from tummy to back, as well as perform new feats that even an adult would find difficult… how do they suck their toes? If you hold baby upright with her feet touching a solid surface she should instinctively try and support her own weight for a couple of seconds. She knows what she wants now and will grab at things, put things in her mouth to explore them more fully and turn her head away if she’s full. She wants to be included in everything and she becomes visibly excited at the prospect of food or outraged when denied it. She can raise her arms in order to be picked up now. This is the start of the ‘uppie-stage’; when moms suffer from hip dysplasia of a totally different kind – caused by one hip always having to be elevated in order to support baby’s bum so that mom can cook/clean/type with at least one free hand, because baby wants to be included in everything!

The sixth month:

The world looks different when you sit up to take a look! Baby can now hold her head steady, keeping it in line with her body when pulled into a sitting position which she will be able to do, but still with some support. She will prefer to sit with support when awake and she will be more confident in grasping items placed in front of her, rarely missing them as her eyes focus easily. If you thought baby’s first smile was cute, just wait until you hear that first chuckle! She will be starting to store words so talk to her as much as you can. Baby will be able to change her tone of voice to express herself even though she can’t speak any words yet and she will experiment more and more by making different sounds using her mouth, tongue and lips. She will start to initiate interaction with you and once she has your attention she will try to keep it by banging on objects. Yes, baby’s true character will start to emerge and you will find yourself taking cues from her in regard to her needs. This is a good time to introduce a routine she can rely on, before she gets ahead of herself and you start dancing solely to her tune! It will boost her sense of security and your confidence, even though there may be a few battles of will initially. Enjoy your baby!

Babeeze.co.za is a local South African website that takes you step-bystep, in an easy-to-read format, through the stages of pregnancy and parenthood. Readers are referred to local doctors, clinics, products, services and various other local websites are linked to facilitate easy web-browsing on related topics. This website cuts through the clutter and is designed with today’s busy parents in mind who now have online access to any information they need at the touch of a button.

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

Learning through play

Learning through play (1 to 4 months)

Rattle and hum By Sharon de Beer

ou may be mistaken in thinking that your one-monthold baby does not need much in the way of play therapy. Sure, he is not tearing round the room yet (that day will come, believe me), but this is not to say that baby is not seeking stimulation, albeit quite passively at this point. Your new baby should be sleeping most of the day as you and he are probably still up quite a bit at night. When he is not sleeping and feeding he will be trying to focus on something in his new and wondrous surroundings at least 8 - 10cms in front of him as his focusing skills won’t be too good yet. At this early stage, he won’t be paying much attention to detail so he will focus more easily on brightly coloured objects and can probably follow moving objects with his eyes, but not for very long. This is important to consider when choosing and positioning play stimuli such as cot mobiles, as these stimulate visual tracking and if they offer music and sound as well, they can help baby develop his listening and selfsoothing skills. Music and sounds should be low-pitched and not loud or shrill at this stage, as this will startle baby (probably into crying) which all parents want to avoid at all costs! It is normal for baby to be easily startled as this is a natural reflex he will eventually come to lose given some time. Music is a wonderful way to soothe baby, but not if it’s the latest Black Eyed Peas soundtrack! Choose soothing sounds and lullabies which have a low hum or tinkle to them. Cot music boxes and musical mobiles should soothe baby and eventually baby should self-soothe whenever they are operating. This can only be of benefit (to both you and baby) later on. Of course you will probably also have received (loads) of soft toys from the baby shower and introducing a cute cuddly soft toy, some of which are even fragranced nowadays, will introduce your baby to the feel of soft textures. Many a favourite fluffy toy has found its way into a child’s heart having been introduced at this stage, although be warned that some children are still carrying these around at age 10 and over! A soft toy to snuggle up to signifies security to baby – it becomes an extension of you in your absence in effect and hence again, introduces baby to self-soothing. As baby moves into his second month he will start to stay awake a little longer and hopefully sleep a little more at night time. He will also become more aware of his surroundings and of you as his primary caregiver, reacting to you and your

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

expression more. This is a great time to introduce ‘peek-a-boo’ play. Once he has the idea, he can play it by himself using a play-safe toy activity mirror when lying on his tummy (as neck strength increases) or if you hold it above him while he is lying on his back. Alternatively, purchase a mirror that can be attached to the side of the cot adjacent to baby’s head so that when he awakes he will appear to have company! (What’s wrong with talking/gurgling to yourself when no-one’s around?) In baby’s second month he may also begin swiping at his cot mobile which should be close enough for him to view easily but out of reach when he is lying in his cot – you don’t want him to pull it down on himself by accident. Now is the time to invest in a baby gym and there are a variety of these to choose from. Most importantly, make sure that the baby gym has soft toys that baby can swipe at so as not to injure himself as hand movements will still be erratic and uncontrolled at best! Baby will also kick vigorously now to demonstrate his excitement and many baby gyms incorporate toys which will make a noise as they come into contact with flailing arms and legs to encourage more activity from baby in response. If your baby is overwhelmed by the baby gym at first, then rather wait until he startles less before trying it again as he may not be ready – all baby’s develop at their own pace after all. Around three months, he will begin learning the basics of cause and effect and that he can make things happen! Now is the perfect time for rattle-type toys. Rattles are probably the oldest baby toy in history and still very effective. At three months of age baby will be able to grasp objects with more confidence. Catch baby’s expression the first time he manages to rattle it on his own – it’s usually one of “Wow, I did it myself!” shock immediately followed by another attempt. Invest in a rattle-ring that is big enough to grasp with two hands so that baby can learn to grasp and pass it form one hand to another. Make sure your pram front-bar or car chair also has a couple of these to keep baby amused when you are on-the-go. You may introduce a squeaky duck or toy as well… be warned that this is one of ‘those’ toys that should disappear before baby is a toddler and re-discovers it – it will drive you mad at that point! At three months of age baby will also be able to play more easily when lying on his tummy as he should be starting to push himself up on his elbows now. As he approaches four months he will gain confidence in reaching for and accurately grasping items and will still enjoy his activity gym especially if he has

Learning through play

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

an activity mat to go with it that is full of interesting things to push and pull as he lies on his tummy. Activity mirrors, activity toys and centres attached to the cot and pram will all be well received and although fine motor skills may not be present to any large extent, he will still love thumping items that respond with sounds or lights. Encourage baby to hone his grasping skills using toys that respond to touch with sound. Sounds need no longer be only soothing, but can also be quirky such us quacking, tweeting, hooting and whistling. You may be pleasantly surprised to find that some sounds made by toys will cause baby to gurgle gleefully or even giggle uncontrollably! Introducing touch-and-feel items encourages baby in developing texture recognition too and there are many varieties of these toys available nowadays. Bath toys are a great way of encouraging baby to experience bath time as a fun activity. Once baby is able to sit in the bath using a bath ring for support, or later on his own without support, he will love exploring this new environment with toys that float and squirt. Never use bath toys as a way of keeping baby happy while you cook dinner though! No baby should ever be left alone in a bath until he is old and capable enough (probably around 5 years old, but even then not for longer than a few minutes at a time). As baby progresses to four months he may be persuaded to experience a bouncing/jumping-type toy. These can tire baby out quickly and strain his developing body, so introduce them slowly and for a limited timeperiod. Some babies can’t get enough of it – other babies hate it. (Some people bungee jump, some don’t– same thing in baby terms!) Never force baby to partake in an activity he does not enjoy as this can result in a phobia in later life. There are some jumping apparatus-type toys that do not need to be hitched to door lintels anymore – these are preferable as they are less likely to come apart and cause injury. Check age/weight specifications and instructions carefully before using any toy and always make sure that the toys you purchase meet safety requirements before purchasing or using them. All toys should be introduced to baby first – don’t expect baby to know what to do with a toy unless you show him how to use it and sometimes you will have to show him ten times before he gets it. A toy should not be used as a substitute for the one-on-one time you need to spend interacting with your baby; they are there to enhance this time together. Happily, many of us enjoy rediscovering toys when we have a baby – after all, it’s not as if we had many of these innovative things as children ourselves – who knew that a rattle could be such fun?

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

Baby’s first toys – develop and delight your little one! What is it? Biba Toys® Soft Book For ages? 0 months+ What does it do? It introduces baby to primary colours, soft touch and texture while the book-binder rattle is easy to grasp. Each page is colourfully illustrated and one page includes a play-safe mirror. What is it good for? Colour encourages baby to focus, plastic textured book corners introduce baby to different types of textures (these serve as a teether as well), while the colourful illustrations will introduce baby to animals as baby develops. Baby will love playing peek-a-boo in the mirror with himself as he gets older! R65.00

(Product code: 1046582)

Available at all

stores

What is it? Biba Toys® Tagging Comforter For ages? 3 months+ What does it do? This cloth hippo rattles and is soft to the touch. It’s also a safe, non-toxic teether. What is it good for? It’s a great first toy for baby to snuggle up to! It rattles and is easy for baby to clutch, but soft enough to ensure that baby can play with it safely. R60.00

(Product code: 1046589)

Available at all

stores

What is it? Fisher Price® Clack ‘n Wiggle Giraffe For ages? 3 months+ What does it do? Rattles and wiggles, making a clacking sound. What is it good for? Bright colours make it easy for baby to focus on. Baby can grasp it easily, while the clacking sounds it makes will encourage baby to listen and respond. R40.00

(Product code: 1041748)

Available at all

stores

What is it? Fisher Price® Crinkle and Clack Butterfly For ages? 3 months+ What does it do? The cloth butterfly wings crinkle when grasped, while the rattles clack when shaken. What is it good for? The butterfly is light enough for baby to manage with an easy-grip handle for baby to grasp. The butterfly’s four circular rattles are coloured and textured differently from one another, offering baby different opportunities for exploration. R50.00 (Product code: 1041711)

Available at all

stores

What is it? My Jungle Friends® Soft Cube For ages? 6 months+ What does it do? Rattles and jingles offering interactive fun! What is it good for? Introduces baby to shapes, textures and encourages baby to interact by jiggling, throwing and even catching the cube later on when he’s a little older. It’s so soft that baby will not hurt himself, no matter how excited he gets with his new toy! R99.90

(Product code: 1046577)

Available at all

stores

Prices are valid at time of going to press and while stocks last. E&OE

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

Play therapy

Childhood depression The silent epidemic By Marié Otto

ven though people prefer to think of childhood as a happy time, free from worry or stress, this is not always the case. As life becomes increasingly more complex, children are faced with more challenges than ever before. Most people have felt sad, blue and generally unmotivated at some point in their lives and the same holds for children. If adults are having trouble navigating their worlds, imagine what it must be like for children, with limited life experience and coping skills. In the past, it was thought that children didn’t suffer from such complex disorders and depression in young children was only recognised as a diagnostic entity in the late 1980’s. We now know that depression can occur at any age and has various

symptoms and causes. As in adults, children also have periods of sadness or unhappiness, from which they should recover relatively quickly. However, many children suffer from severe depression, which can affect their daily activities at school and at home. According to the World Health Organisation, by the time our children reach adulthood in 2020, depression will rank as the second highest cause of loss of healthy years in one’s life, with heart disease being the first. Although there are no official South African statistics for childhood depression, it is a serious and under-diagnosed illness in which genetic, cognitive and environmental risk factors play a role in contributing towards the presentation of depression in children of all ages, even infants and preschool children. When we take into account that South African children are faced with many environmental stressors such as divorce, family conflict, emotional and physical abuse, bullying and peer group problems at school, crime, hijackings, poverty and the impact of AIDS on family life, we should understand that we have children in crisis.

What causes depression in children?

There does not appear to be any single cause for depression in children, but rather biological, psychological and environmental causes, which may occur individually or in combination to cause childhood depression. The biological causes relate to hereditary, biochemical, hormonal and neurological factors. Psychological and environmental risk factors include the loss of loved ones, conflicts in child-parent relationships, low self-esteem, a family history of mental illness or suicide, abuse (physical, emotional or sexual), chronic illness, divorce, traumatic experiences or abandonment. Parenting styles and parent’s reactions to their child’s behaviour can also be an important factor in the way children regard themselves and their ability to structure their world, feel safe and in control and manage everyday situations.

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

Play therapy

The signs and symptoms of childhood depression:

The behaviour of depressed children is different from that of depressed adults; often, these children may not seem sad or unhappy. They may begin to spend more time alone rather than playing with friends and they may speak of wishing to be dead. Children can also exhibit symptoms of anxiety before depression sets in; worrying about things that adults often dismiss as unimportant such as becoming increasingly distressed or anxious when separated from a parent, worrying about parents not returning from an evening out or worrying about friends and school. Anxious children often present with physical symptoms such as stomach aches, headaches and they may experience nightmares. Childhood depression may last for months or even years and discrete episodes are less clearly discernible than they are in adults. Other warning signs of depression in children include: • Persistent feelings of sadness and/or irritability; • An inability to enjoy previously enjoyed activities or play; • Low self-esteem or feelings of worthlessness: a child may make statements like “I’m bad. I’m stupid. No one loves me. I wish I was never born.”; • Headaches, stomach aches or other physical pains that seem to have no cause; • Thoughts, verbalisations and play about death or suicide; • Decreased performance in school; • Difficulty in dealing with everyday activities and responsibilities; • Poor concentration; • Exhibiting troublesome behaviour at school or home; • Solitary play and isolation from group activities; • Sometimes changes in appetite and sleep patterns might occur (either increase or decrease); • Anger and rage, crying spells; • Changes in activity level; the child either becomes more lethargic or more hyperactive.

What parents can do when they suspect their child might be depressed

Children under stress who may have experienced loss or who are anxious, have an attention deficit disorder, struggle with learning or who conduct problems are at higher risk for depression. Since depression may co-exist with other disorders, recognising and diagnosing childhood depression can be difficult. It is however, one of the most treatable childhood illnesses and early diagnosis and treatment thereof is essential towards ensuring a child’s well-being in the long term. Parents of children suffering with depression should understand that there are three aspects that need to be addressed: • Imbalances in biochemistry. • Environmental stressors.

Practical tips for parents:

• Consult your doctor to exclude any medical conditions that might be related to your child’s behavior; • Create a safe home environment for your child; • Consult with a family therapist to address any family problems that might be contributing to your child’s depression; • Address unresolved conflict, trauma and disrupted attachments with the help of a professional; • Help your child to develop healthy self-esteem and selfconfidence; • Depressed and anxious children do better with limits, structure, routine, boundaries and positive discipline; • Avoid major changes in your child’s life; predictability will make your child feel safe and in control; • Encourage emotional expression and open communication with your child; • Eliminate stressors that might contribute to the child’s anxiety, hopeless beliefs and depressed mood at home and at school; • Encourage young children to play as a way of dealing with their feelings and worries; • Create a supportive social network and help your child to develop good social skills; this can prevent isolation and loneliness and combat feelings of depression. • Encourage and teach a healthy lifestyle to your children such as eating healthy foods, getting enough exercise, spending time in nature, having fun and establishing a good sleep routine. • The child’s thoughts and beliefs about self. Since there are variations in types and causes of childhood depression, treatment must logically vary to suit the individual child. Some symptoms may simply suggest a change in environment, habits or behavior, while more severe signs of depression might require therapy, medication or a combination of all three. Parents should note the duration and severity of behaviors that concern them and seek the advice of the child’s pediatrician or family physician, a child psychologist, psychiatrist, school counsellor or therapist. For preschoolers, play therapy is recommended and for school-going children, talk therapy can be introduced (although play therapy can also be used effectively). Cognitive therapy works particularly well with older children to help them identify negative thinking and to replace these thoughts with more positive thought patterns in order to change the ‘hopeless beliefs’ depressed children have about themselves, others and the world. With play therapy and cognitive therapy, children are encouraged to think about themselves in a more positive way, boosting their self-esteem and confidence. Therapy can also teach the anxious child simple relaxation techniques and better coping and social skills.

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

Play therapy

Liesl van der Sandt, Play Therapist

Marié Otto, Play Therapist

Irene Trauma & Play Therapy Clinic, Pretoria

Play Therapy & Parental Guidance Centre, Ermelo

Liesl van der Sandt is a registered social worker and play therapist with over 12 years experience in dealing with childhood trauma. She worked and studied in the United Kingdom (1998-2000), where she also trained at the Gestalt Institute in London. Liesl has worked with war refugee children from Kosovo and Sierra Leone and her extensive experience includes case work in the UK’s Royal Courts of Justice, 7 years experience in Forensic Social Work and working with Youth Offenders in Place of Safety. In 2007 Liesl served on the panel deciding on cases pertaining to the Child Protection Register in Yorkshire (UK). She was the co-founder of the Child Trauma Clinic and is currently the founder and principal of the Irene Trauma & Play Therapy Clinic. Liesl presents seminars on a wide range of child-related topics and provides creative supervision to a wide spectrum of people in the helping profession. She hosts regular workshops at the Clinic, with hands-on demonstrations of Play Therapy techniques and the presentation of case studies. Liesl specialises in dealing with childhood anxiety and depression through a holistic approach and enjoys using Animal Assisted Therapy and developing new creative play and assessment methods and media. She lives in Irene, Pretoria with her husband and four Scottish Terriers.

Marié Otto is a Play Therapist in Private Practice and the founder and principle of the Play Therapy & Parental Guidance Centre in Mpumalanga, which aims to provide therapeutic services, support and guidance to children and their parents. Marié holds Honours degrees in Psychology and Criminology (UP) and a Master’s Degree in Play Therapy (UNISA). Marié started her professional career in 2001 as a psychometrist and has extensive experience in assessing and working with traumatized children. Marié has a special interest in play therapy with very young children, childhood and adolescent depression, anxiety, AD/HD and trauma. She facilitates the supervision and training of play therapy interns and other helping professionals and specialises in therapeutic guidance to parents of children with depression, post-traumatic stress, AD/HD and Anxiety Disorders. Marié is currently developing the Tips & Tools product range, which includes therapeutic products, booklets and worksheets for helping professionals, parents and children on a wide range of child-related topics. Marié and Liesl is the co-presenters of the seminar “The Child Epidemic: Childhood Anxiety, Depression & Suicide in South Africa, 3-18 years” and will be presenting the seminar “Mending the Broken Bond: Attachment Disorders in South African Children, Prenatal to 18 years” in March 2011.

Should you have an issue with your child that you think either Liesl or Marié could advise you on, please send your query to info@raising-kids.co.za

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

Toy box

Toy box tactics from tot to teen! A

toy box is a must have item in any child’s play room or bedroom. Why? Well, of course it’s where one stores all the toys, but it has a variety of other uses which change as your child grows. Here are some toy box tips for…

Tiny tots

Store your newborn’s nappies and ‘grow-into’ wear in the toy box for later use. This is most useful when you come across those few-and-far-between nappies at a discounted price and just think, now you never have to pass up the Woolies end-ofseason sale on baby wear ever again – you have the storage space after all! Toy box tip: Decorate the toy box with newborn related themes such as teddy stickers that can peel off easily at a later stage, alternatively paint it in a plain colour so that it fits in with the décor of the room.

Boisterous babes

Once baby has collected enough toys, there is no better place to store them than in a toy box. The appeal of having a toy box is that you are able to fling all the scattered toys in and close the lid on it all in mere seconds. Tidying-up can be achieved in an instant, leaving baby’s room spic-and-span just in the nick of time – seconds before your mother-in-law is due to visit! Toy box tip: Once baby is able to explore her room on her own she will start to try and pull herself up on furniture. A toy box is the perfect height for this and she will have many hours of fun unpacking the toys while supporting herself against the structure. Make sure the toy box lid is secured with a safety hinge to avoid any accidents should the lid slam shut. Decorate the toy box with exciting stickers to attract baby’s attention.

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

Toy box

Tyrannical toddlers

Teaching your toddler to tidy up has never been easier; sit in the center of the floor cross-legged with your toddler on your lap. Pick up each toy and count ‘1-2-3’ whereupon you toss the toy gently into the box. Your toddler will love this game as well as the time spent with you and she’ll also be learning to count. Toy box tip: Keep your toy box (and toys) germ-free by cleaning them regularly as food often lands up in a toy box at this stage. Immerse water-resistant toys into a bath and add disinfectant to keep toys hygienic and gogga-free. Wipe the inside and outside of your toy box with disinfectant regularly.

Precocious preschoolers

Once children start preschool, they will usually learn to put things away in the right place at school, so now is your chance to teach them to do the same at home. Toy box tip: Use cardboard grocery boxes that will fit neatly into the toy box to compartmentalise the toys. Children respond well to an ordered environment where they can find their dolly’s shoes or the Lego pieces easily; besides which, you are also teaching your children sorting skills and the necessity for some order by allocating one box within the toy box to cars, one box to building blocks and one box to books, for example.

Tenacious tweenies

Your child would have outgrown many of her toys by now, but be careful… she may still feel a connection to these toys at this stage, so think twice or ask before tossing any out. Peel off the baby stickers on the toy box and replace them with something more suitable for her age. Toy box tip: Use the toy box to store past much-loved toys which your child has outgrown but cannot bear to part with, or store all the sports paraphernalia in it – no more tripping over those roller-skates!

FANTASTIC GIVEAWAY! There are 4 sets of each of the (above) Fantastick stick-on decals up for grabs! For your chance to receive a set, SMS ‘Fantastick’ to 34509 before 30 November 2010. Please note that SMS entries are charged at R2 each.

Troublesome teens

Teens are generally not the tidiest of people. Bedroom décor will change daily and you will no longer have much of a say, alas. Your teen will experiment with different styles, which is natural at this age, as kids are ‘trying on’ different identities in order to find out which one ‘fits’ them the best. The result of this is that the bedroom theme will usually be one of chaos. Toy box tip: On the odd occasion when you are brave enough to venture into the ‘abyss’, toss all undesirable objects into the trusty toy box if need be and close the lid. This way, when your erring teen yells, “Mom, where’s my...” from her room, you can simply answer “In the toy box dear.”

For more information contact Heleen Donnolly on 078 699 2996 heleen@fantastick.co.za • www.fantastick.co.za

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

Kidsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; health

Breaking through with biologics Kiona Bouwer was only 18 months old when her knee became swollen and painful. Her parents, Greg and Shirean Bouwer, had no idea just how seriously ill their daughter was and what a long road lay ahead of them...

hirean recalls that she first noticed the swollen knee on a Monday morning as she was preparing Kiona for crĂ¨che. She was puzzled at first as Kiona had not fallen or hurt herself the previous week. Somewhat alarmed, the Bouwers managed to make an urgent appointment with their

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

local orthopaedic surgeon. X-rays and blood tests were taken which resulted in an emergency operation in order to drain fluid from the inflamed knee. The Bouwers were informed that the inflammation of the knee was caused by a viral infection which had developed as a

Kids’ health

result of an ear infection Kiona had suffered a short time before her knee became swollen. In spite of the operation however, Kiona’s health did not improve; her knee remained swollen and she battled with flu and stomach viruses. “I cannot even begin to describe the amount of pain Kiona was in,” recalls Shirean. “She required a lot of assistance walking, so we had to carry her most of the time as she would tire easily. The pain and swelling affected her left knee, then her right wrist, then all her knuckles and finger joints. Her jaw and right ankle were also affected. Kiona was constantly in pain and developed such a high tolerance to it that once, after having developed a cold, her ear drum burst! When the doctor asked us how we hadn’t known, we were horrified and felt like terrible parents, but Kiona hadn’t even complained that she had been in any pain at all.” Shirean became adept at realising when to medicate Kiona for pain over time by monitoring her mood changes and she knew something was up if Kiona began to whine a lot for no reason. The prescribed Cortisone treatment caused Kiona to become lethargic and to sleep for abnormally long periods of time. In spite of this, the Bouwers continued to encourage Kiona to participate in school activities so that she was not excluded at school. There were some activities that she learnt to ‘adapt to’ according to the pain she was in; when writing, for example, Kiona would swop hands according to which hand was less painful to use at the time – she is now ambidextrous. Two months later, at their wits end and having got no further with the prescribed treatment, the Bouwers were finally referred to paediatric and orthopaedic specialists in Durban (since there were none in the coastal town of Margate where they live). As a result of these consultations, it was recommended that Kiona undergo yet another knee surgery and blood tests were run yet again. Kiona was subsequently diagnosed with Juvenile Idiopathic Arthritis (JIA). The Bouwers were initially shocked by the diagnosis: “There is no history of JIA in our family and it was the first time that we had heard of it having always assumed that arthritis usually affects adults, but we were so relieved to finally know what was wrong with our daughter so that we could help her to recover at last,” says Shirean. Initially Prelone was prescribed to reduce inflammation. Since it is a cortisone based medication, the concern was that it would affect her growth, but without it Kiona would go into remission, which was a far worse alternative. Between 2005 and 2008 the Bouwers travelled to Durban monthly so that Kiona could receive a Cortisone infusion by drip and she had to have surgical injections administered to her joints. Shirean says that although they tried weaning her off the Prelone, it was unsuccessful – the condition would just flair up again. Kiona’s condition was not improving. She was no longer very mobile, her left leg had weakened and become much thinner due to muscle underdevelopment and she was not able to straighten

it either. “After the second operation Kiona’s leg was in a cast and we were subjected to many nasty looks in public places due to people probably assuming that we were negligent parents that had in some way been responsible for causing our child this injustice,” recalls Greg. The Bouwers began to despair for their daughter, but shortly thereafter they became aware of the potential of biologics treatment after the revolutionary treatment was billed on a TV programme. It sounded promising and their paediatrician, Dr Roos, advised them to consult a rheumatologist and so they were referred to Dr Faller. This meant that the Bouwers had to travel from Margate to Johannesburg for bimonthly consultations, but since all other avenues had been tried and tested, they felt that it was worth it. Since all alternative treatment routes had failed, Dr Faller applied to The Medical Board on Kiona’s behalf to approve biologics treatment, which is expensive and not freely available to those without a medical aid, to assist with the cost. (This means that there are many children suffering with JIA that will continue to do so as they are not be able to benefit from the Biologics treatment.) “It is a bit frustrating to have to motivate the need for biologics treatment by having to make your child suffer through all the cheaper treatment options first when you can treat it immediately with something that will work,” says Greg. Fortunately for Kiona, the Bouwers medical aid approved the application and treatment was started immediately, sparing her from any more unnecessary suffering. “Kiona has not experienced any adverse side-effects from Enbril, the biologic she was administered,” says Shirean. “In fact, her life has changed for the better in all aspects because of it. She even recently participated in the school sports day, kept up with the other kids and completed the race. After only two weeks of treatment she was already pain free. It is wonderful to see my child bubbly, happy and full of energy – we can’t keep up with her now! We still worry about what will happen once the treatment course is complete and should Kiona go into remission at a later stage in life, but right now we try to stay positive that she will outgrow it and we are thrilled and feel blessed that she is healthy and happy. Our daily concerns include avoiding the childhood viral infections such as measles, but even the school is on high alert to warn us should there be an infectious outbreak of anything,” she adds. “Kiona is a happy at last! Her personality is finally showing through and she is very cute! We are very proud given the cards she was dealt,” brags Greg proudly. Greg urges parents to be vigilant of the symptoms of JIA and warns that to leave JIA untreated could have disastrous implications for a child long term. He also encourages parents to join a JIA support group, where parents can receive moral support from other parents and sufferers.

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

Biologics explained

What is a biologic? The main difference between a biologic drug and other drugs is its size and complexity. Normal drugs (such as antibiotics and painkillers) are small, simple molecules that can be manufactured in laboratories. However, biologics are so large and complex that scientists, even today, cannot manufacture them. Biologics are therefore ‘farmed’ or grown from living organisms (such as yeast cells) that have been genetically modified to produce these complex substances. These complex molecules are then ‘cleaned’ to remove impurities, folded in a form that makes them work effectively and often modified with complex sugar molecules on their surfaces to make them more stable and efficient. It is for this reason they are called ‘biologics’ - because they are produced through complex biological processes. If one uses the analogy of a normal drug being compared to a bicycle, then a biologic drug would be equivalent to a F1 fighter jet, both in size and complexity. The efficacy of biologic treatment in psoriasis, inflammatory bowel disease, rheumatoid arthritis, asthma, cancers and some eye and blood disorders has offered hope to many patients who have exhausted all other avenues. Biologics include a wide range of products such as vaccines, blood and blood forming drugs, hormones, target specific antibodies and recombinant therapeutic proteins.

History The production of biomedicines – that is, drugs being produced through biological processes – began in the 1980’s with the development of recombinant proteins or cloned gene products such as insulin for diabetes. By using industrialised techniques that were extended from the research laboratory tools into a manufacturing environment, companies found they could produce very complex biological molecules. There are currently 370 biopharmaceuticals in clinical trials, targeting more than 200 serious diseases.

How do biologics differ from conventional drugs? Comprising very complex and large proteins, biologics cannot be manufactured, but must be grown from living cells or other organisms. In contrast, normal drugs are small, simple molecules that are manufactured through traditional chemical processes. Because of their size, most biological drugs cannot be ingested as a pill, as they will be seen as protein food to the body and will be digested and inactivated by intestinal enzymes. They are, therefore, usually injected.

How can I benefit from biologics? As biologics often represent the latest biomedical research, they can be the most effective means of treating a variety of illnesses when conventional treatment fails. Some also offer

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

solutions where no treatment was previously available. One example is rheumatoid arthritis, which can be a crippling disease for some sufferers and merely getting out of bed in the mornings can be a painful, lengthy process. Many of the drugs currently available for the treatment of rheumatoid arthritis only slow down the disease’s progression, while biologics, if prescribed early on, may halt the disease progression and, in some cases, may send the disease into remission. In the area of oncology clinical experience has shown that in the early treatment of a type of breast cancer known as HER-2 positive breast cancer, the mortality rate from the disease is halved when patients are treated with a well known biologic. Another therapeutic area showing great success is ankylosing spondylitis (AS) or arthritis of the spine. Sufferers live with constant back pain and lack of mobility and functionality. Improved disease outcome is a big consideration, while quality of life is an additional benefit due to the improvement of these outcomes. Improved disease outcomes is especially important when viewed from a cost perspective, leading to indirect and long-term savings such as keeping patients employed, minimising sick leave requirements and decreasing hospitalisation.

Do all medical schemes pay for biologics? In South Africa, biologics are not a first line treatment and strict guidelines are in place for their use. If, in the opinion of the treating specialist, a patient insured by a medical scheme needs to have access to a biologic, the medical scheme will consider the approval of the biologic according to the guidelines stipulated for the treatment of that particular illness. These guidelines differ from scheme to scheme and are also different for different illnesses. Often these guidelines are drafted by the specialists themselves, such as the South African Rheumatoid Arthritis Association (SARAA) or the South African Oncology Consortium (SAOC). As the patient, you need to consult with your specialist in terms of what treatment options are available and find out your medical scheme’s stance on the reimbursement of biologics for the treatment of your illness. You can obtain a copy of the guidelines for the treatment of your illness from your medical scheme. A medical scheme is obliged to provide you with a copy of this guideline, as this is your right according to the Medical Schemes Act 131 of 1998. Visit www.biologics.co.za for more information or contact Kirti Narsai on 011 805 5100 or e-mail kirti@piasa.co.za.

Biologics explained

Children’s Arthritis Trust (CHAT) offers hope to kids crippled by arthritis

o help treatment resistant children and teenagers in public healthcare who have not responded to the conventional drugs used for treating this crippling and devastating illness, The Arthritis Foundation has launched a special Children’s Arthritis Trust called CHAT (Children Have Arthritis Too). The funds raised by this trust are being used to treat these children with biologics, as well as giving them any additional support they may require. Described as ‘miracle drugs’ by rheumatologists, biologics will give the small, treatment resistant group of desperate children the chance of partial or full remission from a life of continuous pain and progressive deformity. “It is a popular misconception that inflammatory arthritis is an old age illness,” says Aletta van der Watt, advocacy director for The Arthritis Foundation. “Children can be affected from 18 months and up and many children from rural and disadvantaged backgrounds in South Africa sadly miss being diagnosed until the disease is very far advanced and their joints are already deformed.” Although there are no statistics in South Africa on how many children get juvenile arthritis, recent figures from Australia put the incidence far higher than was originally thought – at one in every 250 children. The first signs and symptoms of Juvenile Idiopathic Arthritis may include limping or a sore wrist, finger or knee. “Although many children have growing pains, these have no relationship to juvenile arthritis,” says Dr Gail Faller, a paediatric rheumatologist currently treating 50 children at Chris Hani Baragwanath Hospital in Soweto. Growing pains are a form of musculoskeletal pain that occurs in young children, peaking at four to five years of age. “These occur only at night and are usually behind the knee or in the leg. The pain can be relieved by gentle massage and by giving a mild painkiller like Panado. It is self-limiting and does not require any treatment. Pain that occurs during the day is not due to growing pains!” she adds. “With juvenile arthritis, joints may suddenly swell and remain enlarged. Stiffness in the neck, hips or other joints can also occur. Rashes may suddenly appear and disappear in different areas. High fevers that spike in the evenings and then disappear are characteristic of systemic juvenile arthritis. The earlier a child with sore or swollen joints is examined, the more positive the outcome of treatment is likely to be,” says Dr Faller. “If a child complains about a sore joint for more than two weeks, then seek help immediately,” she cautions. “Unfortunately, many children habituate themselves to constant chronic pain, so when they complain less frequently, parents often make the mistake of thinking they are better.” When children with juvenile arthritis have flare-ups, or do not respond adequately to standard drugs, they experience intense pain and stiffness, and all their daily

activities are affected. According to Dr Faller, “Children will struggle to turn on a tap, open a jar, get out of bed and put on their shoes. Handwriting is difficult and they become stiff when sitting in class or at a movie. To top it all, they are even teased by their peers, and sometimes their teachers, who accuse them of being lazy, clumsy, slow and uncompetitive.” For treatment resistant children, biologics offer real hope. Developed six years ago, they target individual cytokines or molecules involved in the complicated process of inflammation, either halting, or completely turning off the disease process. The downside is their expense, with annual treatment per child costing up to R80 000 per annum, depending on the child’s weight. The cost does, however, drop significantly when the child goes into remission. “Over the course of this year, The Arthritis Foundation will be engaging in talks with the Department of Health to persuade them to make biologics accessible for extreme cases,” says van der Watt. In the meantime, significant funds need to be raised by CHAT in order to help the critically ill children until the State is able to do so. How you can help a child crippled by arthritis: You can help one of the treatment resistant children in public healthcare to walk and run again by making a donation to CHAT in one of the following ways: Should you wish to make a donation via a bank deposit or electronic funds transfer, banking details are as follows: The Arthritis Foundation, Standard Bank, Branch code: 020909, Account: 070965226. Please mark EFT deposits with the word CHAT. To make a donation of R30, you can SMS the word CHAT to 42602. To make a donation of R20, you can SMS the word CHAT to 40902. A new support group for parents and caregivers It is often devastating for a family to be confronted with a diagnosis of juvenile arthritis. This is where a support group can help. The Johannesburg support group for parents and caregivers of children suffering with JIA was launched on 6 November 2006 with the assistance of paediatric rheumatologist, Dr Gail Faller. Aiming to offer information, care and support to parents and children with JIA, this group will bring together parents of newly diagnosed children and those who up to now have been going it alone. Parents will be able to offer and receive support, keep abreast of new developments in the field and support CHAT. Parents who would like to start or join similar groups in other areas of the country are requested to phone The Arthritis Foundation helpline on 0861 30 30 30. To find out more about the Johannesburg support group for parents and caregivers, contact (011) 726 7498.

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

Section

What’s

in store? What is it? ‘It’s My Nature’ Liv Doll For ages? 5 Years + What does it do? There are 5 dolls to choose from or collect them all! Sophie, Daniela, Hayden, Alexis and Katie all have something different to offer and each doll comes with a different variety of accessories that enhance play. What is it good for? Little girls can lose themselves in imaginary play all day while they dress, style hair and accessorise their dolls. R229.00 Available at all

stores

What is it? ‘School’s Out’ Liv Doll For ages? 5 Years + What does it do? There are 5 dolls to choose from or collect them all! Sophie, Daniela, Hayden, Alexis and Katie each have their own hair brush affording your little girl hours of hair-styling fun! What is it good for? These dolls are great for encouraging imaginative play and keeping little girls entertained for hours! R179.90 Available at all

stores

What is it? Electronic Kitchen For ages? 3 Years + What does it do? It makes realistic cooking sounds, has lights and includes a 44-piece kitchen set-up with all the necessary kitchen utensils! What’s it good for? It will keep little ones entertained for hours! It encourages imaginary play; little girls will love playing ‘mom in the kitchen’ and little boys will enjoy trying out their culinary skills – even Jamie Oliver would love this kitchen! R499.90

Product Code: 47611

Available at all

stores

What is it? Learn to play keyboard For ages? 3 Years + What does it do? It has 8 musical instruments, a full-time memory and it can playback up to 38 notes. What’s it good for? With 19 light teaching keys, this all-in-one instrument will have your little one jamming in no time. R99.90 Product Code: 49202

Available at all

Prices are valid at time of going to press and while stocks last. E&OE

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

stores

Section

Available at all

stores

What is it? Carrera Ferrari Racers set For ages? 6 Years + What does it do? It’s a 1:43 scale slot racing system with straights and curves, a 2 speed controller and it includes a Ferrari F10 ‘Fernando Alonso’ and a Ferrari F10 ‘Felipe Massa’. What’s it good for? This is one of ‘those toys’ that dads buy for themselves too! It will keep the men in the house happy (and quiet) for hours on end! R499.90 Product Code: 49218

Available at all

stores

What is it? Zyclone For ages? 6 Years + What does it do? Using the same aerodynamics as an aircraft wing would, simply pull back, twist and launch, and watch as it spins over 30 m making long distance flying fun! What’s it good for? It’s great for keeping your little one entertained outside during hot summer days. R199.90

What is it? Barbie Glam House (Does not include dolls) For ages? 3 Years + What does it do? It’s a double storey house with 6 glam-o-rama play rooms/areas. It folds up super neat for glam house-on-the-go and Toys R Us are offering a free Barbie with every set sold on the Glam House. What’s it good for? It’s every little Barbie fan’s dream; playing house with Barbie has never been so much fun and being able to transport it around easily is even better. R499.90

Product Code: 49182

Available at all

stores

Product Code: 49000

Available at all

stores

What is it? Remote Control Crazy Shaker For ages? 8 Years + What does it do? With a full function remote control and deep-tread rubber tyres, it offers amazing grip on rough terrain and the innovative controls allows the player to perform flips. What’s it good for? It’s great for active boys who love the thrill of dangerous tricks; moms will love the fact that it’s the toy that’s in danger and not their child! R249.90 Product Code: 04189

Prices are valid at time of going to press and while stocks last. E&OE

Available at all

stores

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

Your health

All stressed out and nowhere to go? By Dr Catherine Knight

s a busy GP and working entrepreneurial mom of a tween, nine-year-old and three-month-old baby, life can become rather stressful to say the least! I know I’m one of many women out there who find themselves in a similar position. I am proud to say that my hubby is definitely a 21st century man who has no problem helping out with cooking, cleaning and kids (albeit that he may need to be reminded on occasion that I would expect nothing less!). I am also fortunate to have help in the house with the menial daily chores and yet there are still not enough hours in the day! When am I ever going to file those slips? There are so many more important things to do that I find it hard to prioritise the minor things and this leads to even more stress when one realises that the ‘to do list’ is growing rather than shrinking. Stress is inevitable and universal, demands are continuous and unrelenting so it is no surprise then that it is at the root of many diseases and health problems. Great! Something else to stress about! Many ‘in the know’ (you know – ‘them’) say that you should just “Relax, do some breathing exercises and don’t forget to eat your greens!” It just makes you want to hit ‘them’! I sincerely hope this is not the response I generate from readers with my articles! Once again, the best advice I can give as a GP and homeopath, is to understand what effects stress has on your body on both a physical and physiological (how things work) level. We need

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

to find ways to put the things we need to help us cope into our bodies. The Chinese have been aware of stress and its effects on the body for hundreds of years; they have used a class of herbs known as ‘adaptogens’ to help their bodies adapt to stress and cope well through it – this is why they have so many older people still living a full and healthy life! We really need to take a leaf out of their book (or tea cup!). We have two main stress hormones: the quick acting, potent adrenalin which enables us to jump high, run fast and gain almost super-human abilities and then there’s cortisol; the longterm, long-acting hormone, produced daily in a tidal rhythm to help us cope with minor non life-threatening stress. These hormones would work in harmony if we didn’t try and pack as much into 24hrs as we generally do (and I’m including the weehours of the morning for those of you up feeding baby like me!). Think about the adrenalin response: suddenly breathing becomes rapid, pulse quickens, blood pumps to the heart, brain and muscles so that we can think clearly and run fast. In order to perform at this level, our less important systems are drained of resources while the most important ones are fuelled. This also happens with the cortisol response, but to a lesser degree. Initially cortisol makes us feel great, increases focus and mental acuity, drive, stamina and energy. (Sounds good to me, where do I get some?) Well, that’s just the thing; you know the saying “Too much of a good thing...”? Well, it definitely applies in

Your health

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

Your health

Enjoy life, expect the unexpected, realise that nothing will turn out quite like you planned it and don’t worry about things that are beyond your control!

this regard. It makes you think more clearly and focus, but in order to achieve this, your brain must over-use the allotted brain chemicals for the day, leaving you in deficit. This is fine for a few days, but continued stress will reduce your level of chemicals along with serotonin, your ‘happy hormone’ and dopamine, the hormone that generally gives you the ‘oomph’ to get up and go. Not surprising then that every second person seems to have a ‘chemical imbalance’ that supposedly needs anti-depressant therapy. Cortisol also shifts the way certain tissues respond to carbs, not using them but sending them off for storage (usually in places none of us would like to store carbs). Aha! But more importantly for me as a homeopathic doctor, is what stress can do to all the hormone producing glands in the body; the havoc it plays with the thyroid – initially overstimulating it while the stress is in its infancy, but as it grows up and demands more, the thyroid can no longer cope with the pace and slows down instead. (How many of you are on thyroid tablets?) Fertility and sex hormones are the first to go topsy turvy (no surprise there) and if you understand how your hormones can affect your mood during your menstrual cycle, then you will understand how your hormones will affect your mood during times of continued stress. Cortisol directly influences the amount of progesterone and oestrogen (and testosterone) available to the system that promotes correct reproductive system functioning. I have witnessed the effects of this first hand when assisting couples who have been trying to conceive without success. Stress is a leading cause of infertility. Excessive cortisol also wreaks havoc with our gut lining, making our systems more acidic; candida has a field day and we are left with ‘spastic colons’ and irritable bowl syndrome —sound familiar? Basically, the more stress we experience and the more we squeeze into our day, the more cortisol is produced. Every body system begins to over-use its substances and functions to stay in overdrive and then suffers from the subsequent depletion. Functions begin to slow down, parts ‘rust’ (oxidise in the acidic environment) and eventually begin to stick and seize up. We are all affected, no-one can escape and those of us who just can’t get out of bed because we ache all over and feel dead tired are at the end of the road and are now ‘chronically fatigued’. Even younger

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

adults are affected, coming down with a myriad of stress-related illnesses such as ‘Yuppie flu’, ME (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis), chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. The only way to get by as a mother with umpteen demands a day to meet, is to put some good stuff into your body – especially some of those adaptogens: Ginseng is the most commonly known of these and Rhodiola is also widely recommended (especially for moods), but the Chinese combinations can be very powerful, so I would advise caution in their prescription. A good daily stress tonic would include these two herbs as well as an off-the-shelf homeopathic combination. Neither of these should be viewed as ’pick-me-ups’; they will not make you feel better within the hour – in fact, anything that proclaims to do so will most probably worsen your condition. If you suffer from any of the conditions touched upon in this article, it is best to see a practitioner who will look at different aspects of your health and put something together for you that is specific to your state of health. It is important not to slap on the conditions of convenience, but rather to afford your body the opportunity of re-establishing a balance. It will take time depending on how far along the road you are, but there are ways of coping and getting well again. Basically what one should do is: take a good Multi-vitamin daily which includes a vitamin B-complex and herbal complex with adaptogens (enquire at your local health store). Eat as many raw foods as you can, cut down on the fast-releasing carbs (all white flour foods) and sugary stuff in general, but don’t feel guilty if you enjoy some chocolate from time to time, just don’t overdo it. Most importantly of all, your mental attitude towards life is paramount to living a happy stress-free life. Make a conscious decision to exclude stress from your life wherever you can by not sweating the small stuff: you can’t save the world and so what if you don’t have a perfect house, marriage and career all the time. Enjoy life, expect the unexpected, realise that nothing will turn out quite like you planned it and don’t worry about things that are beyond your control! As soon as we learn to change the things we can or accept things the way they are, the stress surrounding them seems to dissipate. Give yourself a break, nobody’s perfect!

Family guidance

Perseverance, patience, more patience and most important of all, setting the example are the main ingredients to prepare fertile ground for cultivating decent manners in a child.

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

Family guidance

Manners make the world go round By Rykie Morey

ne of the daily frustrations of parenting is the constant struggle we have to get our children to behave in ways that are acceptable to us and to society. This can be hard, uphill work. Part of the problem lies in the conflict of needs; what’s important to you, could possibly mean very little to a child. Parents require a degree of cleanliness, tidiness, order, courtesy and routine. Children, generally speaking, couldn’t care less about these things. How many of them would, without parental prompting, take a bath, say “Please” and “Thank you”, or even change their underwear? There are surely times when our children see us as the enemy. We are the ones who always make them do what they don’t want to do: “Wash your hands... Blow your nose... Hang up your towel... Did you do your homework?... Come back and flush the toilet... Keep your voice down... Get dressed... Get into bed... Go to sleep”. We are also the ones who stop them from doing what they want to do: “Stop picking your nose... Stop jumping on the couch... Don’t pull the cat’s tail.” “Good manners will get you further in life” was the sage advice I received from my mother which proved to be true and very valuable in my life. People prefer to associate with people who have good manners and although your children may at some stage believe that having manners is decidedly ‘uncool’, they will find out in the long run that even their peers prefer to spend time with somebody that says “Please”, “Thank you” and “Excuse me”. A recent comment from my youngest daughter confirmed that children definitely notice and appreciate a friend with good manners. When I remarked that a certain friend of hers seems like a nice girl, she responded, “Yes, she is nice sometimes, but sometimes she’s rude. She never says “Please” or “Thank you” and she can be very bossy, so I don’t like to play with her every day.” But how do we get our children to behave appropriately and how long does it take before all our coaxing, coaching,

pleading and lecturing kicks in? Sometimes it feels like this will never happen and that our teaching has fallen on deaf ears, but

I believe and have experienced that little seeds do indeed get

planted somewhere in the depths of our children’s conscience or sub-conscious mind. Sometimes they surprise us with an out-of-

the-blue “Please may I be excused from the table?”, or “Thank

you for supper” just when you have decided to give up. And what a pleasant and unexpected surprise when another parent remarks on how “well-mannered and lovely to have around”

your child is. A parent’s first reaction is normally one of: “She can’t be referring to my child, surely?”

Perseverance, patience, more patience and most important

of all, setting the example are the main ingredients to prepare

fertile ground for cultivating decent manners in a child. Once

parents realise that it takes much less hard work from their side if they just set the right example, life is much easier for both the parent and the child. A child is much more likely to follow

an example than listen to long lectures, nagging and threats. If

your child hears you saying “Please” and “Thank you” on a daily basis, she will follow suit. If she sees you driving courteously,

it will most probably make an impression on her and influence her way of thinking.

Unfortunately, the opposite is also true: if your children

never hear you apologising for making a mistake, if you talk

with your mouth full and if you interrupt them constantly, they will think that is normal behaviour and will follow suit.

Praise good behaviour and manners rather than punishing

bad manners, especially when children are still small. At the risk

of constantly repeating myself, I urge you all as parents to lead by example. May you be blessed with strength and perseverance in teaching your children good manners. Hang in there, even if it seems like nothing is happening – something is and you will see the results... one day.

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

EARTHC HILD Look good, feel good, do good By purchasing and wearing Earthchild clothing, our customers reflect our lifestyle and values while making a difference by contributing to the Earthchild Project.

Lianri wears tunic top (R240) over ruffle dress (R240) with tiered pants (R200). Each item can be worn separately creating three different looks. Tayler wears yarn dye check shirt (R220) over a 100% organic cotton vest (R99) with tunnel hem pants (R220.)

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

EARTHC HILD 100% African We design and make all our garments in Africa because we truly love our land and are passionate about empowering our people.

Ethan wears distressed denim waistcoat (R290) over 100% organic cotton T-shirt (R109) with lightweight pants R225.

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

EARTHC HILD Earthchild draws its inspiration from the Earth, distilling pure and natural designs into a distinctive range of leisurewear. Kendra wears distressed denim waistcoat (R290) over 100% organic cotton puffy pinny (R205) with 100% organic cotton leggings (R109). Luke wears 100% organic cotton stripe print golfer (R185) with tunnel hem pants (R235).

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

EARTHC HILD A relaxed and natural philosophy is instilled in all designs, combined with international design flair, organic fabrics and earthy tones. Ethan wears slub shirt (R235) over 100% organic cotton T-shirt (R109) with roll up short (R225). Sydney wears yarn dye strappy baby doll dress (R255), over puffy sleeve tunic (R255) with tiered pants (R215). Each item can be worn separately creating three different looks.

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

EARTHC HILD Wear the earth Earthchild has gone organic with 100% organic cotton being used in the latest Summer range. Kendra wears 100% organic cotton ruffled sleeved top (R165), with cropped roll-up vintage jeans (R290). Sydney wears a cropped jacket (R215) over baby-doll dress (R255) with 100% organic cotton leggings (R109).

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

EARTHC HILD Earthchild ensures that it’s clothing embodies and reflects the love of the Earth and a passion for protecting her resources. Lianri wears puffy pinny (R240) over 100% organic cotton T-shirt (R99) and leggings (R99). Tayler wears distressed denim dungarees (R290), over short-sleeve check shirt (R240).

Giveaway! For your chance to win an outfit from Earthchild’s summer collection, SMS your child’s age, gender and the word ‘Earthchild’ to 34509 before 30 November 2010. Please note that all sms entries are charged at R2 each.

The Irene Dairy Farm is a picturesque gem that nestles between the cities of Pretoria and Johannesburg. A visit to this old-style, storybook dairy farm is a treat. Take the kids along for a Sunday afternoon stroll or book a birthday party for a day of farmyard adventure. Visit: www.irenefarm.co.za to check out the Farm’s upcoming Christmas events. RaisingKids - October I November 2010

Families and pets

Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not pussyfoot around on this issue; if we get a kitten, our homeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s harmonious balance will be broken.

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

Families and pets

Cat-astrophe! By Venessa Dace

hat? No cat? Is our home disconsolately deficient? I’d say that the yin-yang in our house is (mostly) balanced. That’s not to suggest that we don’t like cats or that our family is the picture of serenity. There are times, for example, when our youngest sprog torments her sister (to the point of fist-flying hysterics), days when Diesel (our dog) buries a coveted bone which usually belongs to Betty (our other dog) and all hell breaks loose in the garden. There are evenings when my long-suffering (ahem, and very stubborn) husband refuses to watch anything vaguely ‘chic-flickish’ on TV, which means the ridiculous race for the remote is on. A quick bathroom break or change of focus could mean the difference between watching something with substance – such as Brothers and Sisters – or fishing programme re-runs again (groan). Still, we’re blessed (I think) to have a house full of pairs: two kids, two dogs, two adults and two storeys (not that we’re larnies, you understand). Two of everything means each has a sparring partner, a sounding board, an ally and a companion. Yes, Lao Tzu (father of Taoism and the yin-yang philosophy) would approve methinks, so why make the fur fly? Here’s the spanner: our eldest tot wants a kitten for Christmas. You’d think a sweet, fluffy, meowing ball of fluff would be an asset to our friendly (albeit raucous) family. Sadly, this feline benevolence may prove cat(astrophic). Getting a cute cantankerous kitty could tip the scales you see. As bizarre as it may sound, Diesel the dog – a 35kg awe-inspiring American Staffie with extra long legs (they build them big in the States you know) and monster jowls that can flatten a football in a heartbeat – is scared, no, terrified of cats! We’re not entirely certain how his feline phobia came about, though we suspect the neighbour’s cat, ‘Chilli’ (her name says it all), may have taken a swift swipe at him when he was just an ankle-nipping pup. The result? Diesel the brawny brute dissolves

into a quivering, whimpering wreck the moment he gets even

the slightest whiff of a cat. This makes walking him around the

block, going to the vet and even taking him on holiday fraught with anxiety for the rest of us too. Flattened ears, skulking gait, droopy tail – it’s almost too much for a mother to bear.

If you can picture for a second the gruffest, toughest, most

menacing dog you’ve ever seen and triple his frightening factor by, say, three – that’s how Diesel comes across to others. A quick

stroll along the beach, for instance, often becomes an eerily

lonely one as fellow dog walkers scoop up their pooches and run for the dunes, petrified Diesel will gnash his jaws at their Snuffys and Snoopys. Now imagine for a moment a ‘softly spoken’,

pleasantly purring kitty about the size of a shoe box skipping daintily down the road. One ferocious roar from Diesel and you’d

expect kitty and her merry marching to bolt like lightening into the nearest bush, right? Erm, not quite. The old adage ‘You can’t

judge a book by its cover’ is particularly pertinent where Diesel is concerned. He may look like the Arnold Schwarzenegger of

the canine world, but really he’s more like Mickey Mouse (with big teeth!). One chance encounter with a cat – no matter how big or small – would be considered cat(aclysmic) in ‘Diesel terms’.

Let’s not pussyfoot around on this issue; if we get a kitten,

our home’s harmonious balance will be broken. Instead of

flying around the flower beds with Betty, Diesel will sulk in the

shadows avoiding the cat. His fun fearlessness will be gone. His happy-go-lucky attitude replaced with constant where’s-the-

cat worry. He may even slump into a cat(atonic) stupor forever

(sniff!). Nope, as much as the rest of our family loves cats, I think perhaps it might be best to buy our children a stuffed,

make-believe kitten for Christmas this year. It might not purr, but at least it won’t cat(apault) our hard-earned, fragile family balance out of whack – now that would be a (cat)astrophe!

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

Special needs

Open your heart and home to a special needs child J

o’burg Child Welfare is very concerned about children with mental and/or physical disabilities that are being placed in their care, as it is difficult to find adoptive parents for these children given their varying disabilities. “Many of the children that are coming into the system at the moment have minor to major mental and physical disabilities,” says Marihet Infantino who manages the Child and Family Unit at Jo’burg Child Welfare. These disabilities range from ADHD to children born with foetal alcohol syndrome. “At the moment it is already difficult to find families for ‘normal’ children in our system, so it is even more of a challenge to find adoptive parents or foster homes for children with special needs,” Infantino explains. “The reality is that it is more challenging to take care of a child with special needs. There may be more costs involved for doctors and medication. Some children may have special dietary needs and often special needs children require extra care during the day which can also be costly.” Another major challenge is to find a home for children that are HIV positive. “Parents are understandably afraid of taking a child into their home only to lose them soon afterwards to the illness,” says Pam Wilson who manages the adoption department. As a result of this, many of these children end up in institutions such as Little Eden and The Avril Elizabeth home. These homes care for children with disabilities, but while these

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

centers offer excellent care, children who spend long periods of time in these facilities run the risk of becoming institutionalised and they struggle to develop relationships later on in life. “They are at risk of being unable to form good bonds with others, they may tend to have attachment issues later in their lives and their development may also be hindered,” adds Infantino. These institutions are also becoming flooded and placement for these children becomes more difficult as a result. “The reality is that the average adoptive parent that comes forward is looking for a healthy child and may not be convinced to care for a child with a disability,” says Wilson. “We need a specific outreach plan to go out and make a special appeal to families to help take care of these children.” Raising a child with special needs can be challenging, but also a rewarding experience. It need not be as daunting an experience as it was 10 years ago; the internet makes information readily available, offering support groups and advice as does the Jo’burg Child Welfare support group, where parents are supported through their experiences and frustrations. There are also support groups nationwide for parents of children with disabilities. No-one should have to face adversity without the support of a family, least of all a child. For more information please contact Jo’burg Child Welfare on 011 298 8500 or email communications@jhbchildwelfare.org.za.

Special needs

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

Daddy duty

Of dads and ogres By Russell Bennett

Most kids look up to dad as being ‘the hero’. I sometimes wonder just where kids gain this heroic image of their fathers, because when you start to think about it, it doesn’t seem to stem from the same source from whence many other concepts stem – namely the entertainment media, which (regardless of how you feel on children’s consumption of the material), basically boils down to TV and movies nowadays.

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

Daddy duty

creen ideology in particular, can’t exactly be billed as lending itself to positive ‘daddy propaganda’. For the most part, the most recognisable TV dads are usually blundering, loudmouthed, frequently intoxicated and pretty self-absorbed. Yes, I’m talking about Homer Simpson of course. The fathers of South Park fit the same description, but add ‘perverted ‘and ‘brow-beaten’ to the previous list of attributes mentioned. Not a great start for ‘Dad, the hero’. Shift focus to the movie screen, particularly the movies that our children tend to watch and our ratings don’t climb very much in the ‘heroic father’ stakes either. Although he turns out to be more than okay in the end, in the movie ‘Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs’ our hero’s only parent is clumsy, lumbering and completely incapable of expressing his feelings, which results in all manner of disapproval from his son. In fact, the single-father scenario is less used than that of the singlemother, but even this scenario seems to pretty much always yield very similar results. The relationship between father and son in ‘Chicken Little’ is almost identical to the ‘Meatballs’ tale – a total lack of communication and trust between father and son remains the prevailing theme. ‘How to Train Your Dragon’ follows the aforementioned principles again and although the story, in all fairness, depicts the hard-man image of the bygone time of Vikings, it still highlights the weakness of the father in the father/child relationship. In movies depicting two-parent families there are also a range of not-so-pleasant stereotypical father figures. Yes, I know, for the most part it all works out in the end as these sorts of movies tend to do, but still the initial image is hardly complimentary. In ‘Jimmy Neutron’ the mother runs, organises and controls every facet of the household while the dad is portrayed as an incompetent buffoon. Both fathers in the first of the ‘Unstable Fables’ series are wholly obsessed with their own nonsensical rivalry, at the expense of their children who are in fact dragged unwillingly into the silly fray. In ‘Up!’ our pint-sized hero is desperate for any form of fatherly love, enough to follow old Mr Frederiksson all the way to the ends of the Earth in order to win any older male approval and again has to suffer buckets of rejection by the old man who is unwilling to give the boy the time of day! In my humble opinion, to find fathers who shine, aglow with the sheen of perfect parenting in movie media is the exception rather than the rule. ‘Finding Nemo’ is just such an exception. A single-dad, little Nemo’s father could not display a more heroic commitment to his son, never giving up, never turning back and

ploughing on through impossible obstacles and odds borne by the strength of his adulation for his only remaining child. Then there are the more subtle examples of disparaging fatherhood: ‘Forever After’ portrays everyone’s favourite ogre ‘Shrek’ as deeply plagued by his unchallenging role as a family man, so much so that he begins to long for a challenge again. Sure, by the end he’s realised the error of his ways, (as most men do having come through a mid-life crisis) although again, it isn’t the loss of his little bundles of joy that irks him most, but the loss of the affection of his true love Fiona that drives him to fight for his family back. Meanwhile, while the big guy himself is depicted as having lost the ‘what it means to be a father’ plot, Fiona is depicted as totally serene and accepting of her new role as mom to a brace of wild young ogres and the repetition involved in the daily drudge of life with babies – further darkening the shadow cast over fatherhood by Shrek’s absolute inability to adjust to his new life. However, complaining about these sorts of characters in make-believe movies which include talking donkeys and fairytale princesses suggests, to me, more of a shortfall in the complainant than on the part of the movie makers themselves. A little guilt perhaps, leading to an over-inflated sense of outrage at the perceptions of fatherhood a child might pick up from simple entertainment. The fact of the matter is, that although kids may play out the fantasy characters they connect with and enjoy on the screen in their own make-believe games and worlds, their image of their parents is created directly from the source itself. It starts and ends with you. If you get the feeling that your child believes that you aren’t really that interested in him or her, I assure you it’s not because they’ve watched ‘Shrek Forever After’ and transposed the subtleties of that character onto you, their own dad. It’s because you are not (or you are giving the impression that you are not), particularly interested in them. That’s the fact. Come to think of it, I find that movies which portray fathers as less than perfect actually make me look even more dedicated to my children than I am! It’s a comparison against which I can be judged and the poorer reflections of fatherhood just make my own style and manner of parenting look even better! Becoming indignant and demanding that movie-makers pay closer attention to their character creation, particularly when illustrating an image of fatherhood, is just lowering the bar you judge yourself by. Still, everyone likes to be thought of as a hero... us dads are no different.

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

Mompreneur

Melanie is a multitalented mom! M

elanie Bosman is mom to two girls, Mia (age seven) and Caitlin (age four). She recalls that having a family had a huge impact on her life, because when she fell pregnant with her first child she was a partner in a large firm of chartered accountants and thought that her career would simply continue as usual after returning to work from maternity leave. She soon realised that it wasn’t as simple as that and found it very difficult to leave her child at home every day to tend to a demanding career. When her eldest child turned one, she resigned from the accounting firm and started a consulting practice from home. A little more than a year later her youngest child was born. “It was wonderful to have the freedom to work on my own terms and spend time with my children. It was also during this time that I found I had opportunities to take on many creative projects with the children. Being creative has always been important to me and from an early age I instilled this love of creating things in my children too. As my girls got a bit older, I often invited other moms with young children over for a creative afternoon. Each mom and child would then each make their own craft project. I accumulated a lot of ideas for arts and craft projects and decided it would be fun to write a book for moms filled with project ideas. With the moral and financial support of my husband, Abé, I took a few months break from my consulting practice and wrote ‘Mom’s Big Book of Things to Make’. I involved the children as much as possible in the process: as I worked on making and photographing each project, they worked alongside me and that way I could also see what their little hands were capable of doing.” Initially Melanie wasn’t confident that she would get a publishing company to publish her book, so she decided to put

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

her business skills to good use by establishing a publishing company herself. She called on the help of two good friends, one to do the design and layout of the book and the other to assist with the editing. “It was with great excitement that I collected the books from the printer after many months of hard work. Then the difficult part began: to get the book onto the shelves of bookstores. I soon came to the realisation that the book retail industry is a tough nut to crack. I was told by most bookstores that they will only buy books from large publishing companies. I wasn’t going to give up though, I just needed to change my marketing strategy, so I approached owners and principals of preschools, asking them to help me market the book to the moms and the support I’ve received has been overwhelming. I’ve also recently been able to secure the services of a book distributor with the aim of ultimately launching the book in large bookstores.” Melanie says that it has been a huge learning experience to venture into an industry that she previously knew nothing about and adds that she would like to continue with the ‘Mom’s Big Book’ series and to this end has recently completed her second book ‘Moms Big Book of Things to Do’ which is filled with ideas for children’s games and activities. She is also working on a series of English and Afrikaans semi-educational children’s books specifically aimed at the preschool market. With light-hearted stories and delightful illustrations, each book deals with a different theme. The themes have been chosen from those commonly used by preschools to teach little ones about the world around them. Visit www.momsbigbook.co.za for more information, contact Melanie via email at melbosman@mweb.co.za or telephonically on 083 700 5019.

Book review

Benjamin Bear Stencil Book Story by Clair Freedman and illustrated by Steve Smallman ISBN: 978-1-85985-849-3

This fun-to-use book introduces children to three important values; saying ‘Please’, ‘Thank you’ and ‘Sorry’. This book offers 3 Benjamin Bear stories and includes 6 stencil sheets of Benjamin Bear and his friends ensuring that children will be entertained while developing their drawing skills. Available online and at leading bookstores.

Lost Sheep Retold by Juliet David and illustrated by Gemma Denham ISBN: 978-1-85985-851-6

Ben & Holly’s Little Kingdom

The Royal Picnic Magnet Book Created by Neville Astley and Mark Baker ISBN: 978-1-40930-533-0

Join Ben Elf and Fairy Princess Holly on a magical picnic in this wonderful magnetic adventure. This is so much fun as children are encouraged to read the story and place the magnets on the page pictures to complete each scene. Collect the ‘Ben & Holly’s Little Kingdom’ series which includes the titles ‘Holly’s Magic Wand’, ’Gaston’s Messy Cave’ and ‘The Lost Egg’. Available online and at leading bookstores.

An interactive retelling of Jesus’ story of the lost sheep, this little book is fun to read as well as fun to play with! Simple narration together with heavy-duty hard cover and pages that will stand up to toddler handling make this book ideal. The flaps and peep-holes encourage interaction, making story time fun! Available online and at leading bookstores.

GIVEAWAY! Pearson is giving away 3 copies of each of the titles featured above to RaisingKids readers! For your chance to win SMS ‘Pearson’ to 34059 before 30 November 2010. Please note that SMS entries are charged at R2 each.

RaisingKids - October I November 2010

Toys R Us and Autism South Africa are working together to enhance educational outcomes for children with Autism and provide guidance for their parents

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