INSIDE: BUILDING YOUR FAITH IN GOD | I’M NOT A VIRGIN
Woman TODAY’S PURPOSE
MAGAZINE
SPIRITUAL HEALING AFTER A MISCARRIAGE HOW TO UPGRADE YOUR CIRCLE
FROM ORDINARY TO
EXTRAORDINARY TO BALANCE OR NOT TO BALANCE
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 1
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 2
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Proverbs 31:10
DID YOU WAIT PATIENTLY ON GOD FOR YOUR HUSBAND? IF SO, SHARE YOUR STORY WITH TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN! www.todayspurposewoman.com
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 3
Woman TODAY’S PURPOSE
M A G AZ I N E
SHE BELIEVED GOD COULD…
SO HE DID!
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 4
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 5
Contents SUMMER 2016
26
30
32 Faith
14 Spiritual Healing 10 | FORGIVING YOURSELF 14 | SPIRITUAL HEALING AFTER A MISCARRIAGE
Life
26 | BUILDING YOUR FAITH IN GOD
Spiritual Growth 28 | SPIRITUAL ATTACK OR ASSIGNMENT IN THE WORKPLACE
30 | FROM ORDINARY TO EXTRAORDINARY
Inner Circle
18 | TO BALANCE OR NOT TO BALANCE
22 | I’M NOT A VIRGIN
32 | HOW TO UPGRADE YOUR CIRCLE WHEN YOUR CIRCLE HAS CHECKED OUT
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 6
Woman TODAY’S PURPOSE
Welcome!
I
pray that the words written—which were lead by the Holy Spirit— throughout TPW brings forth healing, breaks strong holds, and ministers to your spirit. In this issue, we are speaking to your spirit concerning spiritual healing after a miscarriage, moving from ordinary to extraordinary, understanding the true meaning of having a balanced life, how to handle an assignment or spiritual attack in the workplace, building your faith in God, forgiving yourself, and so much more. I’m super excited and I don’t want to hold you up from reading, so enjoy and digest this spiritual summer feast! Please don’t forget to send me a letter. I would love to hear your thoughts about the articles.
PUBLISHER Straker-‐Valdezloqui
EDITOR IN CHIEF Sherrell Valdezloqui
CONTENT EDITOR Shaina Akua
CONTRIBUTING WRITER’S Sherrell Valdezloqui Saviela Edwards Thorne Shaina Akua Shekina Farr Moore
GRAPHIC LAYOUT Straker-‐Valdezloqui Publishing
CONTACT INFO Email todayspurposewoman@gmail.com
Website
www.todayspurposewoman.com
Until next time, Sherrell Straker-Valdezloqui Follow us on Twitter @todayspurwoman, and follow me @sherrellvaldez Follow us on Instagram @todayspurposewoman, and follow me @sherrellstrakervaldezloqui Follow us on Facebook @todayspurposewoman, and follow me @sherrellstrakervaldezloqui
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 7
TPW ONLINE
Visit TPW Online Today!
SUBSCRIBE TO TPW DIGITAL MAG TPW DIGITAL MAGAZINE 1 year/ 4 issues for just $8.99! Take us with you anywhere you go… Visit www.todayspurposewoman.com to subscribe.
SUBSCRIBE TO TPW NEWSLETTER
SOCIAL MEDIA TPW uses every tool possible to uplift and empower others. Receive daily inspirational messages and quotes from TPW on twitter, facebook, and instagram!
Twitter@todayspurwoman Facebook@todayspurposewoman Instagram@todayspurposewoman
Stay in the know with TPW WEEKLY. You’ll receive empowering articles, features/interviews, prayer, and spiritual tips.
SHARE YOUR STORY! Are you a woman of purpose who enjoys empowering and encouraging your fellow sisters? If so, become a Today’s Purpose Woman contributing writer or share your testimony. todayspurposewoman.com
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 8
TPW QUOTE
“A STRONG WOMAN WATERS HER “
HARVEST USING THE RAIN FROM HER STORMS.
TODAY’S PURPOSEWOMAN.COM
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 9
SPIRITUAL HEALING
Forgiving
Yourself
“Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,” - Philippians 3:13 When my husband and I were dating, I was afraid to tell him about my past. I thought he would think less of me or even worse, break up with me. I didn’t even feel worthy enough to be in a relationship with him. I feared telling him about the partners I had in the past because he was a virgin. When I finally mustered up enough courage to tell him about my past, his response surprised me. We were driving to a church service one night in the rain, and he knew there was something on my mind that I just could not shake. I opened up to him completely. I even told him things I only shared with God. His response to me was, “That was your past, but I am your future.”
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 10
“It’s Not Necessary To Dwell On Your Past Because Christ Has Already Forgiven You.” My heart dropped! I was filled with joy and relief. He saw past everything I was so ashamed of; even the things I had a hard time forgiving myself for. Everything I shared with him didn’t bother him. He still saw a future with me. This is exactly how Christ feels about us too. If you are holding onto things in your past because you are afraid that God won’t forgive you, STOP! It’s not necessary to dwell on your past because Christ has already forgiven you. Read Hebrew 8:12 for confirmation, “For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more.” Some people aren’t as forgiving as Christ and they always find a way to bring up your past. In order to deal with people like this, you have to let go of your past completely. When the guilt of your past no longer controls you, then no one else can control you with it. It’s imperative for you to understand that your past does not define you. John 8:36 states, “If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.” You are free from the opinions of others because the blood of Jesus has covered your past.
If someone consistently brings up your past, be forward and address them.Let them know that you are not your past and that God has set you free, making you a new creature through Christ Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:17), “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things have become new.”) Those people don’t deserve to share your future and must be removed from your life. God encourages us to separate ourselves from people and places of our past (2 Corinthians 6:17). He has given you the power to fight against the attacks and mind battles the devil may bring against you regarding your past. The next time the devil attempts to bring your past into your future, rebuke him! No matter what it may look like, always remember you have the Victory through Jesus Christ. Start afresh today! By Saviela E. Thorne
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 11
CELEBRATING TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 12
Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
“God Wants The Best For You.”
-‐Today’s Purpose Woman
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 13
SPIRITUAL HEALING
SPIRITUAL HEALING
A fter A
Miscarriag It was Christmas morning when e husband and I found out we my
were pregnant. We were so excited to the point where we couldn't contain ourselves. We told our parents, but wanted to wait until after my first trimester to tell everyone else. The next week on New Year’s Eve 2012, after a 5-hour trip to the emergency room, we heard the worst news. We were facing a "possible miscarriage." To make matters worst, On Jan 2, 2013, the doctor told me that our baby was stuck in my fallopian tube, which made it an ectopic pregnancy. For that reason, the doctor immediately scheduled an emergency surgery; he also feared I was bleeding internally. As I was being prepped for surgery, I saw the look on my husband's face when he came in the room, and without knowing the details of the situation; he asked if the baby had a heartbeat.
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 14
Spiritual Healing I just shook my head no. He remained strong for me because he knew I was devastated. He also reassured me that everything was going to be okay before I went into surgery; and within a few hours, the surgery was over. The doctor informed my family that there was internal bleeding and if I had waited to come in, I would have been unconscious and possibly would have lost my life. Once we left the hospital, the natural healing process began, but the spiritual and mental healing was another story. My mind seemed like it was in a fog for a very long time. Questions flooded my mind…“Why did this happen? Did I do something wrong? God you knew this was our heart’s desire, why would you take it from us?” Years later, I still don't have all the answers, but I found comfort in the Word of God; knowing that ALL things are working together for my good as stated in Romans 8:28. Here are a few things I know: * I know that it was for His glory (Isaiah 58:8 “Then shall thy light break forth as the morning, and thine health shall spring forth speedily: and thy righteousness shall go before thee; the glory of the LORD shall be thy reward.”) * I know that He deeply loves and cares about us and that we are special to Him (Isaiah 31:3 The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with loving kindness have I drawn thee.”) (Deut. 7:6 “For thou art an holy people unto the LORD thy God:
the LORD thy God hath chosen thee to be a special people unto himself, above all people that are upon the face of the earth.”) * I know that all things—even this miscarriage that broke me to my core—are going to work out for my good. A few months after the miscarriage, I began writing about my experience, hoping for healing in my broken spirit. It turned into my first published article, "Life after a Miscarriage.” Suddenly it became clear to me, this wasn't just for my healing, but for the healing of millions of women suffering in silence over this issue (1 out of 4 women experience this). You are not alone. I encourage you to do as 1 Peter 5:7 states, “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” I have to admit that I struggled with giving my cares (the pain, the suffering, and the bitterness) to the Lord. Due to this, I started blaming myself, my husband, and even God. But, once I gave my cares to the Lord and asked for forgiveness for blaming others and myself, the spiritual healing process began. My spiritual and mental healing did not happen over night. It was a very long process; one of the longest processes I've ever had to endure. But, my healing came when I finally accepted that God was in control and that this was for HIS glory. Don't give up. God knows and cares about your pain. He is right there with you every step of the way! By Saviela Edwards Thorne
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 15
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 16
BECOME A
WRITER Are you a woman of purpose, who enjoys empowering and encouraging your fellow sisters spiritually? If so, become a contributing writer for Today’s Purpose Woman.
LEARN MORE AT TODAYSPURPOSEWOMAN.COM
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 17
LIFE
TO BALANCE OR NOT TO
BALANCE? I’ve read somewhere that there is no such thing as having a balanced life because life throws something new at you every day. At first, I agreed, but then I remembered, with God all things are possible. My eyes were opened; I realized how often we take on things because we want to and not necessarily because we have to. Some of the things we currently have in our lives were supposed to be left in our old season, but we have brought it into our new season; a place in which it has no purpose. As women, we juggle several things on a daily basis: family, career, ministry, and so much more. In order for us women to function properly, it is important to have a balanced life. We are not capable of balancing things on our own, which is why it is so amazing to have help. Yes, the Holy Spirit is our guide, so why not use Him?
Isaiah 11:2 And the Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him, the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord. A balanced life doesn’t mean becoming a master juggler—one who juggles multiple tasks at the same time and is able to cope through it all. NO! What a balanced life consists of is prioritizing what matters at the moment and letting go of anything that doesn’t bring you peace. TO BALANCE OR NOT TO BALANCE To determine what you should or shouldn’t be balancing in your life, write down everything you're currently doing and see if it is something God wants you to do. Here are a few self-questions to keep in mind.
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 18
Things that I’m currently doing: Is it Holy Spirit assigned or is it something I feel like doing? Remember our flesh can make us feel like the things we are doing are a must. When in reality, it’s just another load added on to our lives; wearing us down. * What’s keeping me from being in the presence of God more? At times, being super busy makes us feel important and productive. There’s nothing wrong with being productive as long as something is flourishing from it in a positive way. Just remember to be in the presence of God more often, so that you can receive revelation/answers to your questions.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: 2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, 3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, 5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, 6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, 7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, 8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. By Sherrell Straker-Valdezloqui
* Am I able to give a 100% in everything I’m doing and still maintain my peace and joy? All of these questions will help you create a balanced life. Another major tip to remember is that it’s okay to say no; you can’t do a million things at one time and you can’t please everyone. Here are scriptures to keep in mind concerning a balanced life:
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 19
LIFE: HEALTH & WELLNESS SCRIPTURE
1 TIMOTHY 4:7-‐9
HEALTH & WELLNESS Have nothing to do with godless and silly myths. Train yourself in godliness; 8 for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come. 9 The saying is sure and worthy of full acceptance.
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 20
1 Corinthians 10:31 ESV So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all to the glory of God.
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 21
LIFE: RELATIONSHIP
I
I’m not a Virgin
By Shaina Akua
remember middle school and all the pressure that it came with. The girls at my school were experienced and we were only in the 7th grade! If you wanted to be cool, telling people your truth wasn’t an option. I used to lie about not being a virgin because keeping your virginity until marriage was an “uncool concept.” All the girls were losing their virginity and talking openly about their sexual rendezvous. I remember being embarrassed about wanting to save myself for my husband, so whenever the girls asked me about sex, I would agree with whatever they said. When 8th grade started, I was dating a guy that I thought was extremely sweet and loving. He adored everything about me—even my flaws. As time went on, I really got to know him and he
shared with me that he lost his virginity in the 5th grade to his babysitter. I was shocked—to say the least—by his confession. I couldn’t fathom why a babysitter would want to have sex with a 10 year old?! From that day on, I always had an excuse for why we couldn’t have sex: “I’m on my cycle,” “I don’t feel good,” “I can’t hang out with you today.” I couldn’t tell him the truth about being a virgin because I knew he would tell everyone that I lied about it. Eventually the pressure became too much and I found a senseless excuse to break up with him. I felt free once I stopped making excuses and I didn’t date anyone until high school. High school stepped it up. Girls were doing things I didn’t even know could be done.
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 22
I’m not a Virgin Things progressed every year. As for college, now that was a zoo! The guys and the girls were wild beyond comprehension. Some girls were restricted at home, so when they got to college, they let loose—literally. I was comfortable telling people that I was a virgin in college. In fact, I pretty much shouted it for the whole world to know. I thought telling guys that would deter them from wanting to date me, but they didn’t care; some saw it as a challenge. I will never forget move in week. All the upperclassmen were on the hunt for fresh meat. One of them approached me and I told him, “Don’t waste your time. I’m waiting until marriage, so if you can’t wait, then I’m not the one.” By the end of the week, one of the guys I grew close to confessed that there was a contest to see who could take my virginity. I thought it was hilarious and a good thing to know, so I could prepare myself for the devil’s attempt to destroy me (John 10:10). When I went to parties, I didn’t drink much because I knew I had to be alert at all times. 1 Peter 5:8 warns us to “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” I really took that verse seriously and resisted temptation to the best of my ability. I gave my life to Christ in my final year of college and I never looked back. I prayed for God to prepare me for my husband and for me to discern the wrong men.
I thank God everyday for giving me the gift of discernment (1 Corinthians 12:10) because without it, I’m sure the devil would have me. God is so good! I didn’t have to wait long for the man he chose for me. The next year, I met the man who is now my husband. He courted me for two years before asking me to marry him. Throughout our relationship, he never pressured me to go against my vow to the Lord. Ladies, saving yourself for marriage isn’t something to hide or be embarrassed about. At the right time, God will send you a God-fearing man to walk through life with. Ecclesiastes 3:1 assures you that, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” Trust in God’s timing. He will never fail you!
Shaina Akua is a Certified Life & Career Coach, freelance writer, and editor who loves to motivate and support women of God through her life experiences. Keep up with her on Twitter @ShainaAkua and Instagram @Shaina.Akua.
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 23
Woman TODAY’S PURPOSE
SUBSCRIBE TODAY!
SPIRITUAL HEALING PRAYER
Get your Today’s Purpose Woman digital subscription and begin enjoying articles that will inspire and empower you to live a higher purpose in life-‐ God’s Purpose. For more information visit todayspurposewoman.com
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 24
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1 John 4:8
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 25
SPIRITUAL: FAITH
BUILDING YOUR FAITH
IN GOD
By Saviela E. Thorne
W
hen you truly love someone, you want to do everything in your power to please him or her. This is the same way our father in heaven operates. God desires to have a special and intimate relationship with us. The word of God tells us in Hebrew 11:6 KJV that, “without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.” God wants us to believe in Him; in the same way we believe in our family members, our friends, our spouse, or our favorite sport team. He wants us to have • that same faith that no matter what anyone tells us, it will not shake our belief in Him and His Word. Here are 4 ways to build your faith in God:
1. First get a clear understanding of what faith is and what it means to you. Hebrew 11:1 KJV states, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Faith is like the wind, you don’t see it, but you know it is there because you feel it, sense it, and see the effects of it. You may not be able to see your healing, deliverance, or your financial breakthrough now, but you know it’s on the way because you hoped for it and your hope is based and sealed with God’s Word. 2. Sometimes you have to put in the work - James 2:26 KJV “For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.”
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 26
BUILDING YOUR FAITH IN GOD When you have faith, your faith activates your will and empowers you to do the very thing you set out to do. Just as the spirit makes the body full, the Word of God makes our faith come alive. Sometimes we are waiting on God to move when all along, He is waiting on us to activate our faith and move on His word. 3. Make sure your faith lines up with the Word of God and His Will – James 4:3 KJV states, ”Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.” Sometimes the things we are asking for are just not in God’s will for our lives. When we seek God for His will, then we will not ask for things that contradict His desire for us. For example, I may ask God for a million dollars but if I am not responsible with the 100 dollars He gives me, then how can He trust me with more? The scripture tells us that, “He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much.” – Luke 16:10 KJV
If you believe in God, trust Him, and have faith that He will do just what he said he will do, then your response will be praise. Praise indicates our trust in God, even though we may not see or understand what he is doing in our lives; we can rest assured knowing that He has everything working out for our good (Romans 8:28). Never give up on the promise God gave you. There are several examples in the Bible where people waited years: Joseph waited 13 years, Abraham waited 25 years, Moses waited 40 years, and Jesus waited 30 years. If you are waiting on something from the Lord, then you are in good company. Isaiah 40:31 King James Version (KJV) states, “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” Learning to fully trust and depend on God in all circumstances will help you develop a level of faith that will assist you in conquering your hardest challenges.
4. Never stop believing and begin to praise God – Colossians 3:17 KJV “And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.” Your response determines your faith.
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 27
SPIRITUAL
SPIRITUAL ATTACK
OR ASSIGNMENT
IN THE WORKPLACE? Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. Ephesians 6:11
T
here’s nothing like living a drama free life. You try your best to live a holy life and spend as much time as possible in the presence of God. You're a powerhouse and you use every opportunity you get to share how amazing God is. Everyone on the job knows that if they’re discouraged, they can always count on you to have encouraging words to lift them up. You're also the first person people run to when they need prayer and without hesitation, you’ll stop everything you’re doing to pray.
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 28
Despite all that you do, there’s one person being distant, and when they come around to speak, it's with a sarcastic tone. They try to challenge everything you do and even challenge your lifestyle and relationship with God. Eventually, they begin to challenge you and question your work more and more. Now, this situation is starting to irritate you because it’s becoming an everyday thing. You realize that your prayers are focused on the situation at work instead of your praise and worship. Could this be what the enemy wants? Is this one of his attacks on your prayer life? On top of that, you're wondering why God hasn't stepped in yet. As time progresses, you find yourself entertaining the thought of letting this person have it one good time, so they'll know not to mess with you anymore. You need encouragement, but since you've always been the strong one, everyone seems to think you're okay. So how can you keep your sanity and continue to walk in love until God sees fit to end this battle?
Here are a few reminders to keep in your heart as you continue to live Holy and be an example: 1. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. Ephesians 6:11 2. “The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace.” Exodus 14:14 3. Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you; but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that also at the revelation of His glory you may rejoice with exultation. 1 Peter 4:12-13
As always, seek the Lord in all that you do; doing so will reveal whether or not this person is part of your assignment or a distraction from the enemy; it's important that you know the difference between the two. Stay encouraged and continue to live in a godly manner because your witnessing could be the very thing that leads the person to Christ during his/her darkest hours. By Sherrell StrakerValdezloqui
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 29
SPIRITUAL
A
FROM ORDINARY
TO EXTRAORDINARY
re you ready to move from ordinary to extraordinary? The truth is moving from ordinary to extraordinary is not a physical transition; it's spiritual. When we think of extraordinary, we think of someone who is super, unusual or remarkable; someone that stands out from being normal. You may have a list of women you feel are extraordinary and feel as though you’re not qualified or have the strength to do what they do. That’s not true and an excuse that has for so long caused many to never reach their higher purpose- God’s purpose in their lives. Remember God doesn’t call the qualified; He qualifies the called. It is the ordinary (your flesh) that's telling you what you can and can't do. Not only your flesh the flesh talk and mindset of others in your circle and of course that devil. Understanding how to walk in the spirit does not come overnight.
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 30
It comes with spiritual growth, which comes from spending time with God on a daily basis. Currently, the problem is we have fed and allowed man to rule over our the ordinary lives. Although the flesh is the weakest, for some it is currently the strongest. Sadly, the Holy Spirit tends to be in a spiritual coma in a vast amount of people. So how do you move from ordinary to extraordinary?
1
You must have a personal relationship with God and be concerned about His business. Matthew 6:33 (But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.) Daily: • Pray • Read the word of God • Praise & Worship Refrain from putting God inside of a box and allow him to train you in varies areas of your life.
2
Have faith and trust God completely: walking in the extraordinary comes with a price. Always remember that everything we go through should strengthen us. Our strength comes from the Lord and that also includes the times when an attack comes from the adversity.
3
Release yourself from past hurt or anger and forgive those who had a part in it: Doing this is important and is the third ingredient to activating the extraordinary in you. Look at the women who are powerhouses for the Lord in ministry, mentoring or coaching. Most of them have a story that deals with some form of hurt, disappointment, or dissatisfaction, which they overcame after totally surrendering unto the Lord. Being extraordinary is a spiritual transition where you give God permission to use you for His glory. "But for this purpose I have raised you up, to show you my power, so that my name may be proclaimed in all the earth." Exodus 9:16 By Sherrell Valdezloqui
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 31
INNER CIRCLE
UPGRADE YOUR CIRCLE
GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE
THINK OF WAYS TO HELP OTHERS
HOW TO UPGRADE YOUR CIRCLE
When your circle has checked out. By Shekina Farr Moore
T
he girlfriends you used to tell everything are now unhappy for you. You were down for Susie and Aisha when no one else was, but now that you are in your glory days, they can’t be bothered? We have all been there. Winning with little to no applause. Over time, you have been conditioned to not share anymore. You want to share, but you don’t feel your circle has your back.
route to the grocery store, buy the same food items, start shopping in the same aisle, and will even check out at the same register. Who can fault us, right? Routine gives us comfort. But the challenge in being creatures of habit is getting out of our comfort zone.
We are creatures of habit. We shop at the same grocery stores, drive the same
You see, while comfort zones are warm and fuzzy and provide a sense of security, they also keep us stuck and stunt our growth. We especially see this dynamic play out in our friendships and social circles. Think about the last time you shared good news with a friend. If you're a go-getter, you probably didn't get the reception and celebration you were hoping for. Instead, you were likely met with a dismissive "Cool" or a "No surprise there." (Which, once you get out of your feelings and think about it, it's actually a compliment.
Do you find yourself keeping things to yourself? Sometimes for privacy reasons—which is good—but other times because you know your circle can't handle it? Well, this is a sign that it is time to upgrade your circle.
But how? 1. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 32
It shows that your friend expects you to save the world.) It doesn't always feel good, huh? What you are experiencing is called familiarity. When people become familiar with you, they tend not to honor or appreciate you in the way strangers or associates would. This presents for you a window of opportunity to do three things that will improve your social influence. * First, begin to network on another side of town or in other cities. Not for the accolades and kudos, but for the refreshing feeling of meeting new people. New people will usher in new avenues, energy and connectivity for you, which will help you to birth your ideas without the fog of caring what your friends think. * Secondly, learn to do things simply because you want to do them. Imagine accomplishing things for yourself for a change. Say bye-bye to sulking when others do not appreciate your efforts. Learn to reward and celebrate yourself.
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 33
HOW TO UPGRADE YOUR CIRCLE WHEN YOUR CIRCLE HAS CHECKED OUT * Lastly, begin to celebrate people who are not familiar with you. Like you, they will enjoy being able to share good news and accomplishments without feeling like they are bragging or fishing for compliments. In fact, these new connections will be more eager to embrace you and share your brilliance. You know the saying, “A man (cue the ladies, too!) is with honor but in his own land.” And don’t fret. Word will surely get around. When the "homies" hear about what you're doing in other lands, they will also sing your praises. It'll sound something like, "I always knew (fill in your name) would be great!" So, get out of your comfort zone and network already! 2. Think of ways you can help someone else you admire While networking will help you to upgrade your circle, don’t sleep on the power of volunteerism. We often want to work with people we admire or ‘pick their brain’ to see how they did this or how they did that. So, when we reach out to them, we lead with what is in it for us. Wrong, wrong, wrong. When people contact me I love when they lead with what they can give versus what they want to take. Don’t be like the masses! Stand out by going about it the right way. Instead of asking to take Dr. Moore
out to lunch to pick her brain, try something like this: Hi, Dr. Moore. My name is (fill in your name). I came across an article you wrote in Today’s Purpose Woman Magazine on empowering women to upgrade their circles. I saw that you have an event coming up in June at the State Capitol. I would love to be of support for your mission in some way. I would like to help you and your team set up, create programs, and/or usher. I will also be sure to share your event throughout social media and contact the local paper about it. Whatever you need, let me know. I believe in what you’re doing. I can be reached at (insert phone number and email address). Thank you for your time and consideration. Now, I’m willing to bet that you just made yourself memorable. This, ladies, is how it is done. But so many miss key opportunities to make themselves valuable to powerful women by being all about me, myself, and I. I believe firmly that if you help enough people get what they want, you will by default get what you want. Begin to sow seeds of help and you will become invaluable, and surely upgrade your circle. Shekina Farr Moore is an award-winning youth and women’s activist who specializes in girls advocacy and diversity. Her life’s work focuses on the advancement of women and girls and she is the CEO of B2F Girls Worldwide. Learn more about Shekina at www.shekinamoore.com.
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 34
LIVE A HIGHER PURPOSE- GOD’S PURPOSE!
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 35
A WOMAN WALKING BY FAITH DOES THINGS AGAINST IMPOSSIBLE ODDS.
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 36
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 37
SHE BELIEVED GOD COULD…
TODAY’S PURPOSE WOMAN | SUMMER 2016 38