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g ifts
wishing you
love & joy
That Are Yours (because you live here)
DECEMBER 2019
Today’s Woman / December 2019
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contents DECEMBER 2019
spotlight 4 MANIFESTO
40 28 THINGS
6 HER WORLD
46 CURRENT OBSESSIONS
Reading and beyond
8 TRADITIONS
‘Tis the season to learn the getting in giving
10 FROM THE PUBLISHER
Every Five Minutes
32 LIVING BEAUTIFULLY
This home holds a beautiful life
36 JUST ASK JOYCE
Should this couple get back together?
38 GALENTINE’S PARTY Celebrate with us
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12 Power, Music, Art, and Asking Quesitons
48 INSPIRATION A powerful way to calm your mind 50 WORK
WARDROBE
The hunt for clothing 52 TRAVEL A memorable birthday trip 54 FIND US Where to Find Today’s Woman 56 FOOD A perfect cookie made with love
December 2019 / TodaysWomanNow.com
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features
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12 Gifts to Our Community: 13 Blessings in a Backpack: The Gift of Food and a Future 14 Actors Theatre of Louisville: The Gift of Performance and Training 16 Louisville Visual Art: The Gift of Art 18 My Stroke Box: The Gift of Encouragement 20 Bernheim Arboretum and Research Forest: The Gift of Connection
22 Fourth Avenue United Methodist Church: The Gift of Hope 24 National Stem Cell Foundation: The Gift of Collaboration 26 The Center for Women and Families: The Gift of Healing 28 Uniting Partners for Women and Children: The Gift of Uplifting Support 30 Active Heroes: The Gift of Staying Active
Today’s Woman / December 2019
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DEC. 2019 | VOL. 30 | NO. 1
December 2019 Today’s Woman Manifesto
PUBLISHER Cathy S. Zion publisher@todaysmedianow.com EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Anita Oldham editor@todaysmedianow.com
... to know that someone cares ... food for every child who needs it ... progress that motivates and inspires ... lead the way in innovative new works ... encourage people that they can heal too
a december manifesto of love, joy, comfort, and goodness in our community
... more than a hot meal, we want to make a difference ... courage to speak out ... pain is not a weakness ... cultivating the entire art ecosystem ... connecting people with nature ... walk alongside without judgment and help heal.
ON THE COVER: Maggie Morris is a thrift shopper who has mastered the art of finding cute clothing without over-spending. Find out how she does it and where she shops on page 48.
10
g ifts
Photo by Erika Doll wishing you
love & joy
That Are Yours (because you live here)
CoverOptions_TW1219April.indd 1
DECEMBER 2019 11/21/19 12:52 PM
EXECUTIVE EDITOR Tiffany White tiffany@todaysmedianow.com CONTRIBUTING EDITOR Lucy M. Pritchett EDITORIAL DIRECTOR April Allman april@todaysmedianow.com DESIGN DIRECTOR Jill Cobb jill@todaysmedianow.com PHOTO DIRECTOR/PHOTOGRAPHER Melissa Donald melissa@todaysmedianow.com GRAPHIC DESIGNER Jillian Jones jillian@todaysmedianow.com CAMPAIGN MANAGER Jessica Alyea jessica@todaysmedianow.com OFFICE ADMINISTRATOR Scheri Stewart Mullins scheri@todaysmedianow.com BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT DIRECTOR Rachel Reeves rachel@todaysmedianow.com SENIOR MEDIA CONSULTANTS Susan Allen susan@todaysmedianow.com Teri Hickerson teri@todaysmedianow.com MEDIA CONSULTANTS Bailey Crush bailey@todaysmedianow.com Jennifer Phillips jennifer@todaysmedianow.com CIRCULATION MANAGER W. Earl Zion INTERN Emily Elliotte Today’s Woman is published monthly by: Zion Publications, LLC 9780 Ormsby Station Road, Suite 1400 Louisville, KY 40223 Phone: 502.327.8855 TodaysWomanNow.com TodaysMediaNow.com The opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the position of the publisher. Today’s Woman magazine does not endorse or guarantee any advertiser’s product or service. Copyright 2019 by Zion Publications LLC, all rights reserved. Reproduction or use of editorial or graphic content in any manner is prohibited without permission from Zion Publications LLC.
ADVERTISE: Call 502.327.8855 or email advertising@todaysmedianow.com. REPRINTS: Call 502.327.8855 or email reprints@todaysmedianow.com.
SUBSCRIBE: Send $18 to the above address for 12 monthly issues.
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December 2019 / TodaysWomanNow.com
Today’s Woman / December 2019
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STEP INTO HER WORLD OF READING AND BEYOND By Lucy M. Pritchett Photos by Patti Hartog
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nne Bogel, the creator of the lifestyle blog Modern Mrs. Darcy, is a Louisville native who has devoted herself to reading and matching other readers with the perfect book. She hosts a podcast What Should I Read Next? and has written three books of her own: Reading People, I’d Rather Be Reading, and Don’t Overthink It, which will be published March 2020. Her website is devoted to Better Living Through Books and Reading. “When you get more out of reading you get more out of the rest of your life,” Anne says. Her pet peeve? “I don’t like the words ‘I could never…’ Fill in the blank — write a book, raise four kids, start a blog.”
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Anne is curious about a range of subjects and ideas from urban planning to personality tests. In addition to books, books, and more books, these are Anne’s current obsessions:
LEOPARD PRINTS I hate to shop. I clothe myself with a minimum of effort and fuss. But I do want to look stylish. I found these leopard print flats by Tieks that are a little funky and look very chic. I can look put together by adding a big necklace to create a simple outfit and not be too fussy.
HOUSEPLANTS I have 50 or so indoor plants. I’ve been collecting them for the past couple of years. I work with words on a screen and the addition of plants to my life makes my home office feel fresh and alive, and the space looks nice. My theory is that plants are something tangible to see that my work has paid off. Something tactile. I have a regimen of watering on Thursdays. I call it Thirsty Thursday. That’s how I remember to water the plants.
PEDESTRIAN CROSSWALKS I have to say that the pedestrian crosswalks in Louisville are terrible. I walk one of my children to school and I see how dangerous they are, as drivers don’t always pay attention to them. People just don’t stop. We
need better signage about yielding to pedestrians. There are trompe l’oeil painted crosswalks that can’t help but slow drivers down. The crossing appears to be a physical barrier, but when you get close enough, you see it is a crosswalk. We should be able to walk safely in all neighborhoods, especially along Bardstown Road and Frankfort Avenue. It would not be very expensive to improve the crosswalk visibility.
MONARCH COFFEE Monarch Coffee is a local roaster I discovered on a recent visit to Kansas City. I have to drink decaf coffee as I have no caffeine tolerance. While I love Quills and Heine Brothers in Louisville, sometimes I want some variety and something a little different to me. That’s why I bring home decaf coffees when I travel, and I found I can order Monarch’s decaf online.
PICKLED FOODS Chefs say that adding an element of acid to a dish will make it interesting, and I think they are onto something. To make something taste good it needs a little zing — pickled red onions, pickled jalapenos, pickled cucumbers. I’ve discovered a pickled slaw recipe on Smitten Kitchen. She’s way more committed to her kitchen than I am to mine, but I like her recipes and her sense of humor.
Anne’s leopard print shoes add some zing to a simple outfit.
Today’s Woman / December 2019
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’TIS THE SEASON TO LEARN THE GETTING IN GIVING By Tonilyn Hornung
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y 6 year old starts planning his Christmas list on the coats, hats, scarves, and gloves always come in handy.” One Fourth of July. It’s an ever-changing catalog that hundred percent of the net profits from a donation to one of its reorders itself faster than I can eat a pile of gingerbread thrift stores will help fund programs and services for people in cookies. My kid loves a lot about the holidays, but I’m guessing crisis. Donating is one way to encourage my son to spread his it’s the getting presents aspect he loves the most. I’ve come to gift giving wings. However, in the instances where I’ve tried to this conclusion because he says, “Mom, I love getting presents nudge him in that direction, to him it felt like a huge push. the most!” While receiving is certainly awesome fun, I try When my son was younger, I took some unwanted toys to find ways to show my kid the other magic inherent in the the dust bunnies had been playing with and put them out to season — the magic of giving. donate. When I explained my intentions, all he could feel was There’s something to be said about reveling in childlike loss, and all he could see were his beloved friends going away enthusiasm during the holidays. I adore watching my little guy forever. He totally missed out on the bigger picture because dive into a box or swim through wrapping I hadn’t given him the space to make the paper with total abandon. His face shines choice on his own. No gingerbread cookies for “WE SEE FAMILIES brighter than the lightsaber I gave him last Mom on that day. DONATING year. His happiness is contagious, and I As my little guy has grown into a bigger definitely don’t want to shame his joy — I’m guy, I’ve watched his giving spirit emerge — TOGETHER AND A just looking for ways he can pass it on. like the time he made holiday cards for family LOT OF CHILDREN It seems I’m not the only one with the idea members or tried to organize breakfast in VOLUNTEERING of looking for ways to pass on the joy of the bed for the dog on her birthday. Now I see an WITH THEIR holiday season and also balance some of my opportunity for him to better understand the PARENTS AS WELL.” family’s getting and giving dynamic. David deep sense of love that’s felt in giving. Sharp, communications coordinator for the We’ve started talking again about what it – DAVID SHARP charitable organization St. Vincent de Paul, means to give and taking shopping trips to says, “During the holidays we find an influx pick out other items like diapers and coats to of people donating items and also an influx of volunteers.” He donate. His helpful heart is rising to the surface. He’s started also says that on major holidays its open kitchen “is packed looking through his drawers to see what he can offer. elbow to elbow with people and volunteers.” “We see families donating together and a lot of children That kind of compassionate contribution can’t be put in volunteering with their parents as well,” says David. I can’t a box to be unwrapped later. It’s not tangible like blocks or force my kid to learn lessons, but I can create the opportunity paints, and this is why my 6-year-old can easily overlook the for him to. Hopefully, my little guy can begin to have an even concept. fuller and more magical holiday experience during the season “For the food pantry,” David says, “we always need canned of giving. food donations. As the temperature drops, things like winter
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Today’s Woman / December 2019
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Every Five Minutes By Cathy Zion
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complaining of being tired, which was attributed to being a mother to two young daughters and returning to her job. However, she was referred to a pulmonologist who ordered a CT scan, which led to her Stage IV lung cancer diagnosis. Medical staff frequently asked if she had smoked, and she finally replied, “I guess I should have!” Elizabeth is currently taking an oral chemotherapy and is remaining as positive as possible. She has made it her mission to raise awareness about early detection and lung cancer in women. “Lung cancer is stigmatized. It’s associated with smoking,” she says. Yet more than 20 percent of women who are diagnosed have never smoked. Much research is being done on more effective and less taxing treatment protocols as well as early detection methods. Funding is critical to make this happen. “There is so much ground to make up from a lack of funding. There have been three drugs approved in the last three years that directly impact the survival rates of those diagnosed with late-stage lung cancer. That is more than any other type of cancer. When you donate, your money is helping people immediately,” she says. Elizabeth, who volunteers with the Lung Cancer Foundation, says building a support system is important. “There is hope...there is a lot of hope. I was speaking with someone who found my story through the Lung Cancer Foundation and so there is a big presence on Facebook. Connecting with other people in our same situation has helped me and others deal with the gravity of the situation.” For more information on how you can help visit lung.org.
December 2019 / TodaysWomanNow.com
Photo submitted
ung cancer takes the lives of more women than breast cancer, pancreatic cancer, and colon cancer combined. However it’s low on the things-to-be-concernedabout health spectrum, with only 3 percent of women listing lung cancer as a health concern. Over the past 41 years, lung cancer cases for women have increased 87 percent while decreasing 35 percent for men. Sadly, every 5 minutes a woman is diagnosed with lung cancer. My 5 minutes happened 5 years ago when my doctor called to give me the results of my biopsy — malignant. He was shocked. I wasn’t. I had pushed hard during the prior year for a low dose CT scan because I listened to my body. While the first two scans showed only a “shadow,” the third scan showed it had grown, and a biopsy confirmed cancer. I was very lucky in that it was diagnosed early. I had the top lobe of my left lung removed, and I’m now five years cancer free. Sadly, 30-year-old Elizabeth Moir wasn’t so fortunate. Last August, when she was eight months pregnant, she went to the ER because she was having significant trouble breathing. A chest X-ray was ordered, and the doctor said it was a calcified tumor in her lower left lung. Elizabeth’s baby was born in October and her hands were full with two young daughters to care for. By April, she was ready to resume exercising. However, when she got on the treadmill, she became quickly winded. When she coughed up blood, she went to the doctor who put her on antibiotics for 10 days and told her to come back in early May. The Monday after Derby, she returned to the doctor,
Elizabeth Moir, shown here with her young family, was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. “There is hope...there is a lot of hope,” she says.
More than 20 percent of women who are diagnosed with lung cancer have never smoked.
Today’s Woman / December 2019
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g
ifts
TO OUR COMMUNITY
By Carrie Vittitoe and Tonilyn Hornung Photos by Melissa Donald
Some gifts are too priceless to be put in a box, and these 10 organizations are giving those intangible gifts to our community. The programs they support offer healing, hope, and life-changing moments for those taking part. These organizations are impacting our community in a positive way, meeting each need with open arms, open doors, and a desire to make the world a better place. 12
December 2019 / TodaysWomanNow.com
A thank you note from an 8-year-old Blessings in a Backpack recipient: “You help us have better days because some of us don’t have food or anything and you make us feel good inside. And if I could do the things you do for us it would be a great thing because you fill my heart with joy. Thank you so much for the blessings. You are loved.” The drawing below depicts the boy’s home, which is more of a tent than a house.
BLESSINGS IN A BACKPACK: THE GIFT OF FOOD AND A FUTURE
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blessing can be offered in many ways. Sometimes it even shows up in a backpack. Blessings in a Backpack provides food for school children who may have little or no food to eat over the weekend when school isn’t in session. This national non-profit program began in Louisville with one woman who saw the need for change and took action. “It started with an apple and someone who cared,” says BiB’s Managing Director Kim Holsclaw. When Missy Hammerstrom sat down to eat lunch at a local elementary school, a young girl approached her to ask, “Can I have your apple?” Missy gave it freely only to find that the girl didn’t want it for today’s lunch but to save for later that weekend. “That night Missy went out and bought backpacks and food and took them back to the school,” Kim says. Now, 14 years later, Blessings in a Backpack feeds 5,000
children in 48 Louisville schools. “Attendance is up on Friday when the students receive their Blessings,” Kim says. “They don’t want to miss it.” The students who depend on the federal free and reduced meal program at their school qualify for the Blessings’ meals. Blessings in a Backpack is truly a blessing for those kids who might sometimes go 65 hours without being fed. This is why Blessings is seeking to expand its efforts. “Our goal is to feed every child who needs it,” Kim says, and that means reaching out to the over 64,000 children who qualify in Metro Louisville. Blessings in a Backpack will continue working with its volunteers and partners to keep Louisville’s youth nourished, but its efforts extend beyond that. “We’re ensuring that our future leaders stay bright by giving them a bag of food so they can continue to learn.” Today’s Woman / December 2019
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Actors Theatre of Louisville strives to make the performing acts accessible to everyone.
“We are one of the nation’s largest regional theaters, and we lead the way in innovative new works.” – Melissa Hines
Photo by Jonathan Roberts
ACTORS THEATRE OF LOUISVILLE: T HE G I F T OF P E R FO R MA N C E AND TRAINING
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ctors Theatre of Louisville (ATL) has been giving the gift of high quality dramatic performances to Kentuckiana audiences since 1964. “We are one of the nation’s largest regional theaters, and we lead the way in innovative new works,” says Melissa Hines, the associate director of marketing. Actors serves as a home for both the new-and-fresh and the tried-and-true in dramatic arts. In the spring of 2020, Actors will host the Humana Festival of New American Plays, which shines a light on new faces and voices in theater. But Actors also serves as the home of some much-loved productions, including Fifth Third Bank’s A Christmas Carol, which is celebrating its 44th season this year. “We have the second longest running production in the country,” Melissa says. Over the years, Actors Theatre has worked to make theatergoing a habit by introducing students to plays. Its student matinee program, which is sponsored in part by Yum! Brands Foundation, welcomes over 10,000 students each year. In
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addition to being entertaining and thought-provoking, Melissa says these performances remind young people that the arts are for everyone. But performance is not the only way in which Actors Theatre gifts the city and region. Melissa says each season Actors employs close to 200 people. As an Actors’ Equity Association member, Actors Theatre hires actors and stage managers who work in the trade and provides them a living wage. “We’re really delighted to employ quite a few local actors,” she says. Actors Theatre also hosts a professional training company, which gives young people who are just beginning their professional lives the opportunity to learn a wide range of skills, from acting to props to administrative duties, that will help them advance in the field. “It’s a wonderful blend of early career professionals with local actors who are committed to this community,” Melissa says, “and a national field of professional actors, [which] makes for a really exciting rehearsal and performance experience.”
PROMOTION
Cedar Lake Offers Unconditional Love for People With Disabilities Photo by Jay May Photography
By Barbara Myerson-Katz
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ear Clifton, Executive Director of Cedar Lake Foundation, the philanthropic arm of Cedar Lake, which serves adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities, defines the role of his organization simply: “We’re dream brokers.” Bear explains that Cedar Lake, which will celebrate its 50th anniversary in 2020, started with a single question from parents of disabled adults in the community: “What is going to happen to our children after we’re gone?” Over the past half-century at its 36 properties in Jefferson, Oldham and Henry counties, Cedar Lake has answered that question by providing homes for adults who might
otherwise be homeless, ranging from independent living accommodations to settings where the medically fragile can be supported. Currently, about 260 people live in Cedar Lake homes. “We serve by listening to the needs,” Bear says, learning how the organization can best provide for loved ones. The Foundation makes it possible for all who have needs to access programs and services, and importantly, to age in place. “We serve people for life,” Bear notes. The Foundation holds two major fundraisers each year, A Night Out with Cedar Lake in November and a golf outing in the spring. In addition to philanthropic gifts, Bear says community members can also volunteer
time, talent and leadership, “adopting” homes where they can be of help — for example, by tending a landscape garden or working directly with individuals — reading books, doing crafts, and more. “I believe we’ve all been created to be something far greater than ourselves,” Bear says. And with the odds stacked against many adults in the community, it’s essential for people to step up and make a difference. “We see what parents’ or caregivers’ dreams are for their children,” Bear says, “and provide the programs, services and expertise to make it possible for people with intellectual or developmental disabilities to live the most abundant lives they possibly can.”
9505 WIlliamsburg Plaza Ste. 200 | Louisville | 502.495.4946 | cedarlake.org Today’s Woman / December 2019
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Photo by Grant Johnson The Louisville Visual Art mural program has a positive impact on the community.
LOUISVILLE VISUAL ART: THE G I FT OF ART
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ouisville Visual Art (LVA) is in its 110th year and, like all venerable institutions, it has experienced some changes over the decades, including the removal of “association” as part of its name and its relocation from Louisville Water Tower on Zorn Avenue to its new digs in Portland on Lytle Street. While many people hold fond memories of LVA’s past and the artistic gifts it has provided for Louisville since 1909, it is what the future holds that makes LVA so special. Since 1925, LVA has offered children’s fine art classes (CFAC). Classes for students in fourth through eighth grade are free; high school classes are tuition-based, although there are scholarships available, and LVA strives to make its CFAC classes as affordable as possible. “There aren’t too many cities that can claim this kind of a commitment to accessible, quality visual arts education,” says Grant Johnson, LVA’s communications and marketing director. Johnson thinks of CFAC and other education programs as the beating heart of the organization, although LVA’s impact across the community is painted with broader strokes. Exhibiting art is another prong of LVA’s mission. In addition to having exhibits at its Portland gallery, it sponsors an
ongoing series of exhibits at Metro Hall and AC Hotel in Nulu. LVA also offers artist engagement programs. “Professional working artists in the metro area open their studios to let people come see their behind-the-scenes work in process,” Grant says. LVA’s murals program is growing and having an impact on the community in a variety of ways. While many of these murals have been inside Kroger stores, there has been a recent movement to outdoor murals. “We try to do mural projects that have a positive community impact or engagement component,” Grant says. LVA has partnered with other organizations and businesses, including New Directions Housing Corporation and Portland Now. Whether it is through education, exhibits, engagement, or tying all three together, “LVA is trying to cultivate the entire art ecosystem in Louisville,” Grant says. Its special events throughout the year, including its Honors Luncheon in Feb 2020 or its art[squared] exhibit and sale in April 2020, are aimed at ensuring that our ecosystem is nurtured for another 110 years.
“There aren’t too many cities that can claim this kind of a commitment to accessible, quality visual arts education.” – Grant Johnson 16
December 2019 / TodaysWomanNow.com
PROMOTION
Giving Families Comfort When They Need it Most Photo by Melissa Donald
Pictured from left to right: Rachel Hood Barr, Director of Operations; David Owen, President and CEO; and Pam Owen, Vice President.
By Tiffany White
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xperiencing the death of a loved one can elicit many emotions and be a period of great sorrow, pain, and loss. Deciding who to turn to during your time of need to help make final arrangements can be overwhelming. Thankfully, the Owen Funeral Homes in Louisville and Jeffersontown are here to help you, offering personal guidance and lasting support. Owen Funeral Homes began as a familybased operation and has followed that path for nearly 80 years. Bird S. Owen, Jr., his wife Edith R. Owen and her mother, Anna G. Roberts, opened the doors to their first funeral home in 1939. The homes are now owned and operated by their son David L. Owen, president and CEO, his wife Pam Owen, vice president; and daughter Rachel Barr, director of operations.
The Owen family is very involved with helping the communities it serves, and doing its part to give back.
approved we take care of the families and they [the city] pay us. We do 200-300 burials of this type annually.”
If a family loses a child who’s a year old or younger, the staff at Owen Funeral Homes will pick up the baby after it’s passed away, prepare the baby, and put it in a preemie casket. They do this all at no charge. “My dad did this in 1939, and we still do it today in 2019,” David explains. “We care about the families, and we understand,” David says.
David says it’s important to support his community because they’ve supported Owen Funeral Homes for so many years. “That’s just the way Mom and Dad taught us to be — you’ve got to give back,” he says.
For the past 18 years the Jeffersontown location of Owen Funeral Homes has held the Indigent County Contract through the City of Louisville. “Those who don’t have funds for a funeral go through the county coroner’s office to receive approval to have us take care of their needs,” David says. “Once it’s
The family is compassionate toward all those suffering loss, even the very youngest members of a family. “At the funeral homes we have a little plush seal,” comments Manager Kyle O’Bryan. “On that seal is a life preserver with the family name. When a child is going through a hard time after losing a parent or family member, we give him or her that toy to keep. We want to reach out to everyone.”
5317 Dixie Highway | Louisville | 502.447.2600 9318 Taylorsville Road | Jeffersontown | 502.266.9566 Today’s Woman / December 2019
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The Stroke Box contains a personal note from George.
MY STROKE BOX: THE GI F T O F ENCOURAGEMENT
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n December 1, 2016, George Dwyer suffered a stroke at the age of 14 after experiencing a fall while playing ball. After an MRI, doctors discovered that George had an aneurysm, and blood clotting around the aneurysm had caused the stroke. “Fortunately, the aneurysm itself did not break, but [George] lost all the movement on the left side of his body,” says George’s mother Alison Dwyer. Doctors told George’s parents that if the aneurysm wasn’t stented off, he would not survive more than a couple of months. George was in intensive care for a time, but as he improved, he was eventually transferred to Frazier Rehab Institute for several weeks. While at Frazier, he began to get a little movement back in his hand, but he was in a wheelchair most of the time. He had to use a gait belt when he tried to walk. It wasn’t until a stent was placed in January 2017 that blood flow improved to the point that his brain was able to heal. George is now able to walk and has regained movement in his left side. As George was recovering, he told his mom: “What I really
want to do is go back down to Frazier, sit with the kids, and play games with them. I’d like to go and encourage people that they can recover, too.” However, a job change resulted in the family’s relocation to Madisonville, Kentucky, a threehour drive from Louisville. George was disappointed that he couldn’t help patients at Frazier in person, but he came up with the idea for MyStrokeBox, which is filled with items that helped him when he was in rehab. Each stroke box contains the same items, although colors and patterns may differ: a hand-tied fleece blanket, a teddy bear, a fidget cube, modeling clay, a bean bag animal, a card, and a MyStrokeBox manual, which George created, that explains what happened to him and why he includes the items. Along with his family, George is working to establish MyStrokeBox (mystrokebox.myportfolio.com) as a nonprofit, so that through donations, he and his family can offer additional comfort to not only Frazier patients but patients nationwide.
“I am so happy and proud to have the chance to bring a unique kind of empathy to each StrokeBox. This box is meant to be a beacon of hope; a sign that someone else like them has survived and kept trying every day, no matter what.” – George Dwyer 18
December 2019 / TodaysWomanNow.com
Today’s Woman / December 2019
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Photo Bernheim Forest Bernheim has developed fun, interactive programs that teach kids about nature.
BERNHEIM ARBORETUM AND RESEARCH FOREST: T HE G I F T OF CO N N E C TI O N
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ernheim Arboretum and Research Forest has a mission that stands as tall and as true as the trees in its forest. “The long-term goal of Bernheim is connecting people with nature, and so our adult and youth programs speak to that connection,” says Dan Pascucci, Bernheim director of education. Bernheim introduces the value of nature through exploration. An adult can come to Bernheim and find programs geared toward wandering walks or specific steps through the forest. Guided hikes with fireflies, strolling through an edible garden, or even hiking all alone through a creek are all options on the “Things To Do” list at Bernheim. One of Bernheim’s most popular activities for children is its Eco Kids Discovery Days, where kids explore with trained naturalist volunteers. There are also designated days where the only limit to play is a child’s imagination. Children are given the opportunity to experience “Free Play,” which is completely
undirected and occurs in a natural play space. “A natural play space connects children directly to natural materials in a natural environment,” says Melissa Rue, Children at Play network coordinator. In the hopes of stretching its educational roots further, Bernheim’s Free Play Initiative is branching out to urban neighborhoods, training teachers in the community, and consulting on building natural play spaces to provide more children with a chance for outdoor play. “We care about getting kids outdoors because it’s critical for their health and development,” Melissa says. Bernheim and its educational component is an integral part of how deep connections to nature are made. “We have programs for a wide range of interests,” Dan says. “It’s a beautiful place to come to on your own, but when you tap into the knowledge of people who work here, it brings your experience to life.”
“The long-term goal of Bernheim is connecting people with nature.” – Dan Pascucci
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PROMOTION Submitted photos
Ladyfingers Caters to Community By Barbara Myerson-Katz
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is the season for galas and corporate gatherings of all sorts and sizes, offering hors d’oeuvres and sweet treats to full sit-down meals. Ladyfingers Catering is the go-to expert for corporate clients who want any occasion to go off without a hitch. “When they work with us, they’re getting 30 years of experience,” says Owner Deborah Lowery, from box lunches for simple business meetings to spreads for up to 6,000 guests at the Annual Derby Festival Thunder Over Louisville events on the Belvedere, Thunder Village, and downtown venues. The Barnstable Brown Derby Eve gala and the Parklands’ Field and Fork are also among the annual events Ladyfingers caters. Ladyfingers has a commercial kitchen in Middletown and the capacity to create an on-site kitchen virtually anywhere — including mobile equipment and grills. With eight chefs and an in-house staff of over 40 employees, Deborah says everything Ladyfingers serves is homemade and freshly prepared. “We’re still peeling sweet potatoes for sweet potato casserole,” she says, “and we bake all our own desserts.” For corporate clients, Ladyfingers provides a complimentary consultation, drawing on longtime relationships with local venues and event coordinators. They also advise — at no charge — on layouts, seating, guest flow, and décor. If a client wants an item that Ladyfingers doesn’t already have — a chocolate fountain, a slushy machine, even a photo booth or magician — Deborah says they’ll get it. Corporate clients can sample offerings at complimentary tastings or at larger monthly taste tests, and menu options include everything from Home-style, Gourmet Menus to International cuisine, based in part on the yearly culinary trips Deborah leads. Ladyfingers can accommodate a full range of special dietary needs and provides full bar and beverage services. And Ladyfingers knows bourbon. They cater the Bardstown Bourbon Festival and offer a bourbon tasting menu. They’ll also help obtain alcohol donated for fundraisers and galas, providing complimentary pick-up and corkage. In addition to assisting corporate clients with their charitable efforts, Ladyfingers itself gives back with in-kind donations of food and services throughout the year, including food for 800 at the annual Festival Unveiled, the unveiling of the official Derby poster. Ladyfingers has been recognized yearly as one of the top small business philanthropists. 12901 Old Henry Rd | Louisville | 502.245.7734 | ladyfingersinc.com Today’s Woman / December 2019
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Members of the church work alongside men who are in the Healing Place program to cook meals for those who need it most. The church partners with varying healing groups.
FOURTH AVENUE UNITED METHODIST CHURCH: THE GIFT OF HOPE
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n open door is welcoming, and acceptance is exactly what the Fourth Avenue United Methodist Church on West St. Catherine Street is offering with its “open door ministry.” This church’s small congregation has created a safe and inclusive sanctuary within their church walls, and their commitment to meeting the needs of the community keeps their door open wide, providing lunches and other kindnesses such as free dental and medical exams. “United Methodist’s policy has always been one of ‘an open door, an open heart, and an open mind,’” says Carrie Farris, church member and Open Door Kitchen volunteer. The church is living up to this core belief by choosing to open its space and partner with other healing groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous, to help people in their journey to recovery. Along with providing a meeting location for other organizations, the church’s own ministry is devoted to a
three-tiered program of service. Staffed by church volunteers, its kitchen provides 150 home-cooked meals, five days a week. Its free dental clinic is an extension of the Louisville Dental Society and works with anyone who requires dental care. There’s also a free monthly medical service that utilizes the help of doctors and nurse practitioners. “It’s more than just providing a hot meal,” Carrie says. “We want to make a difference.” For church members, it’s about being available to those who ask for help. Carrie says, “Due to suburban movement, we only have a membership of 80 churchgoers. There’s been talk of closing our doors, but that would place a huge hardship on the community we serve.” Carrie says the church plans to be of service as long as there’s a need. “We’re here to give hope where hope is needed,” with doors wide open.
“United Methodist’s policy has always been one of ‘an open door, an open heart, and an open mind.’” – Carrie Farris
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PROMOTION
Community Foundation Can Help Simplify Your Charitable Giving By Barbara Myerson-Katz
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ith so many important nonprofit organizations in need of support this time of year, you might wish you could make a single charitable gift that could be distributed among your favorites. With its donor advised funds, the Community Foundation of Louisville makes that both possible and easy.
Jennifer Fust-Rutherford
Jennifer notes that a donor advised fund also gives individuals a partner in philanthropy. In its 35 years as Louisville’s community foundation, fundholders have supported their favorite nonprofit organizations through more than $900 million in grants. With more than 1,600 funds under its care, the Community Foundation is committed to help every donor reach their charitable goals and create a philanthropic legacy. “We offer a level of personalized service that donors count on to optimize their support for nonprofits, whether through our annual online Give For Good Louisville day or leading family retreats to pass on their philanthropic values,” she says. “With our local knowledge and our commitment to carrying out a donor’s charitable intent, together we create a community where people and organizations thrive.”
Photo by Melissa Donald
With a donor advised fund, charitable giving can be simplified and amplified to provide the maximum resources for the charities’ work. A donor makes a gift into a personal fund, receives an immediate tax deduction, and then determines the recipients and amounts to be granted to nonprofits whenever they choose to do so throughout the year, explains Jennifer Fust-Rutherford, the foundation’s Director of Gift Planning. The only receipt necessary for tax purposes is for the single gift, no matter how
many organizations the donor decides to support. When appreciated assets are added to the fund, both the balance available to distribute and the tax benefit increase.
325 W. Main St. | Ste. 1110 | Louisville 502.585.4649 | cflouisville.org
Today’s Woman / December 2019
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Dr. Paula Grisanti is the CEO and one of the founding members of The National Stem Cell Foundation.
NATIONAL STEM CELL FOUNDATION: THE GIFT OF COLLABORATION
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he National Stem Cell Foundation is collaborating to create a better world. This national non-profit organization based in Louisville is making a difference on a global scale by adding its voice to research, education, and advocacy. Dr. Paula Grisanti, one of the founding members and CEO, says, “We partner and collaborate across all three of our pillars to create projects with impact.” Paula believes that “progress motivates and inspires,” and the foundation’s progress in helping children with limited resources participate in clinical trials for rare diseases is truly inspiring. “Children with rare diseases are oftentimes medically able to participate in clinical trials, but unable to afford the deductible and copays that it takes to participate.” If not for this tremendous program, patients like 3-yearold Meredith, who was diagnosed with metachromatic leukodystrophy (a fatal disorder that affects the protective coating around the nerve cells), would not have received
the funding necessary to receive a life-saving cord-blood transplant at age 8. On the cutting edge of research, Paula is the most excited to be participating in a project for Parkinson’s disease that will be sending research to the International Space Station this month. “It’s exciting because it’s never been done before,” Paula says. “We hope to find something new in watching these cells behave in a way that we cannot watch on earth.” Still creating an opportunity for collaboration, the foundation runs a program that provides advanced training for middle school teachers who can further inspire students who’ve taken an interest in science. “The excitement that these teachers take home and build on lasts for years,” says Paula. That’s exactly what this foundation is keen on building here — a foundation that will last for years to come. “We seek to create more opportunities to help more people.”
“Children with rare diseases are oftentimes medically able to participate in clinical trials, but unable to afford the deductible and copays that it takes to participate.” – Dr. Paula Grisanti 24
December 2019 / TodaysWomanNow.com
Today’s Woman / December 2019
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“We provide domestic violence and intimate partner services for every gender.” – Elizabeth Wessels-Martin
Elizabeth WesselsMartin, CEO of The Center for Women and Families, shown inside its downtown Louisville location.
THE CENTER FOR WOMEN AND FAMILIES: T HE G I F T OF HE A L I N G
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n 1912, a group of women banded together to volunteer their time and energy to care for women in abusive relationships. These trailblazing visionaries planted the seeds for a gift that grew into The Center For Women and Families, a place that’s committed to providing support services to anyone and everyone affected by intimate partner violence and sexual assault. “Even though we’re called The Center For Women and Families,” says CEO Elizabeth Wessels-Martin , “we provide domestic violence and intimate partner services for every gender.” Services this facility offers are completely free, and The Center is prepared to provide a wide range of help, from a bed for the night in its emergency shelter to an on-site medical visit. The Center also operates a 24-hour/365-day-a-year crisis phone line that gives immediate safety planning and assistance.
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Elizabeth has been a firsthand witness to how this program saves the lives of people who participate. “People come to us in shelter with nothing because they have fled a very lethal situation.” They are also offered the opportunity to speak to legal aid services and given counseling and therapy support. The Center also provides comfort to women and families with children and their pets. “Half of our population are children, and we have a relationship with Kentucky Humane Society,” Elizabeth says. To further aid the children of the nine communities it serves, The Center leads several prevention projects within the school system. The people who walk through The Center’s doors are connected to resources that enable them to become self-reliant and remove themselves from the trauma they’re experiencing. “We walk alongside everyone without judgment and bring lifesaving services that help them heal,” Elizabeth says.
“We want our guests to feel like they’re part of a community.” – Andrea Scott
Looking to assist with practical needs, like laundry and showers for the families, Amy Meredith and Andrea Scott founded Uniting Partners for Women and Children.
UNITING PARTNERS FOR WOMEN AND CHILDREN: T HE G I F T OF UP L I F TI N G SUP PORT
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otivated by a desire to help others, Andrea Scott and Amy Meredith founded Uniting Partners for Women and Children (UP). This drop-in day shelter is a safe space that empowers homeless women to reclaim their hope. “We want our guests to feel like they’re part of a community — to know that someone cares about their well-being and offers hope for another day,” says Co-founder and Director Andrea Scott. Until UP for Women and Children arose, there was no other shelter devoted exclusively to women. “Women didn’t have that daytime safe space with the comprehensive services like the men did,” Andrea says. When women come to this facility, they’re immediately assisted with practical needs such as showers, laundry, access to phones, and even help in obtaining IDs or birth certificates. UP for Women and Children has also partnered with other agencies and the women can talk with mental health care
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providers, nurse practitioners, and legal aid advisors if needed. “We try to use our facility as a point of connection for our women,” Andrea says. Andrea says that their main desire in establishing UP for Women and Children was to reduce the stigma and barriers that women face when it comes to homelessness by empowering them. The organization’s resource program seeks to give its guests opportunities that will lead them down a path to achieving self-sufficiency. “Our goal is to help women recognize their worthiness by teaching them to advocate for themselves,” Andrea says. In one year, UP for Women and Children has opened its doors to 500 women, providing 12,000 showers and 11,000 loads of clean laundry, proving there’s certainly a need for this kind of distinctive service. This is why Up for Women and Children is committed to giving in ways that are truly uplifting.
GIVING THE GIFT OF
Hope THANK YOU
TO THE SPONSORS
OF THE WALK TO END ALZHEIMER'S Platinum:
Katie Danner has volunteered with the Alzheimer's Association since her mother was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's. Her mother Peggy Weber passed away in December of last year.
Promise Garden:
By Tiffany White | Photo by Melissa Donald
K
atie Danner was relieved to know her family could rely on the Alzheimer’s Association for support when her mother Peggy Weber was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s five years ago at the age of 56. Peggy and her husband became involved with the organization and attended the Memory Café program, which provides interactive sessions for caregivers and their loved one. “It is a good place to get close with people going through the same thing. If you can get groups of people together to talk about their challenges, that is good,” she says. Katie has been volunteering with the organization since her mother’s diagnosis, and her family and friends have been participating in The Walk to End Alzheimer’s for four years. This is one of 12 walks the local chapter coordinates annually to help raise funds for research, care, and support. The prevalence of Alzheimer’s disease is growing at a fast pace. Roberta Steutermann, senior walk manager for the local chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association, says over 5.8 million Americans are living with Alzheimer’s, and the number is expected to increase to 14 million by 2050. In Kentucky, 73,000 individuals are living with a diagnosed case of Alzheimer’s. The statistics are grim, but the organization’s mission remains steady. Educating caregivers about the services the chapter provides is an important part of its mission. The organization offers support groups, a 24-hour helpline, educational programs, and Memory Cafés. Peggy died in December 2018, but Katie says the organization’s services and resources helped her family navigate through the difficulties. “I think caregivers need a lot of support, because the disease can be very isolating. There are a lot of people who don’t talk about it. If we continue to support the Alzheimer’s Association, it will bring attention to the disease, help fund more programs, and find a cure,” she says.
Gold:
Special thank you to Mary Haynes of Nazareth Home, the 2019 Walk Chair. For a full list of sponsors, visit act.alz.org/louisville.
FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO ALZ.ORG/KYIN PROMOTION
Today’s Woman / December 2019
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Photo Active Heroes
“Our motto is, ‘One veteran suicide is one too many.’ ” – Troy Yocum
Military spouses participate in a Zumbathon event at The Active Heroes Community Center in Louisviille.
ACTIVE HEROES: THE GI F T O F STAYING ACTIVE
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roviding a purposeful retreat for military heroes is a service Troy Yocum wanted to offer since the age of 10. “My grandfather dealt with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder,” Troy says. His grandfather spent time serving in the Pacific Ocean during World War II, and afterwards suffered from depression and PTSD. Troy’s grandfather took his own life in 1980. “My family members struggled with my grandfather’s suicide,” Troy says. “It was a retreat for survivors that my family went to in 1989 that convinced me a retreat center was needed to help military families.” In 2011, Troy, who is a veteran himself and served in Iraq, founded Active Heroes — a program that’s on a mission to end veteran suicide by providing healing activities for military heroes and their families. Active Heroes furnishes programs and pastimes specifically designed to help veterans stay active and engaged in the community. The Active Heroes Retreat Center, located in Shepherdsville, Kentucky, was designed by military families
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and is open to them free of charge. This healing space offers family cabins, hiking, archery, yoga, and has plans to expand even further through 2020. “Our other program is called The Active Heroes Community Center. While the retreat center focuses on outdoor activities, the community center focuses on indoor fitness and socialrelated activities,” says Troy, the president and founder. The Community Center is located within the Louisville Athletic Club in Jeffersontown and holds many national events in an effort to build a supportive community where veterans can stay connected with military and civilian families. “Our motto is, ‘One veteran suicide is one too many,’” Troy says. This is why Active Heroes wants its heroes to know, “There’s always help out there. We’re taught as military members that pain is weakness and not to talk about our issues. The reality is that it takes courage to speak out.” Active Heroes is actively listening while helping military heroes remain engaged so that they may heal.
Today’s Woman / December 2019
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THIS HOME HOLDS A BEAUTIFUL LIFE: Complete with Five Kids, Two Businesses, and Lovely Intention By Megan Seckman Photos By Melissa Donald
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t is after dinner at the Deebs’ house on a Thursday. Four children under 10 are upstairs playing video games. Shoulder-to-shoulder they stare at a giant screen, controllers in their tiny hands and tongues moving in concentration. From the downstairs kitchen, you can hear their little bursts of laughter and the pitter-patter of tiny feet. The table has been cleared and the dishes washed; everything is in order. The nighttime wind-down has begun. Noel Deeb, 36, and pregnant with their fifth child, shows me to the dining room for our interview. The room doubles as her bread shop. Plastic bins are stacked on one side of the thick, wooden table. In the corner of the room looms a giant, gleaming bread oven, and above it, a giant Isreali tapestry. The room holds a faint aroma of yeasty baked sourdough. Noel, visibly tired at the end of the day, perches her elbows on the table, and a simple, block-letter tattoo of the word
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“work” is visible on her arm. This one word, “work,” personifies Noel’s philosophy of what it means to live beautifully. Their home, a gorgeously renovated Old Louisville Victorian, is the hub of their family and work lives — a place where each coincide in busy, fruitful harmony. Tyler Deeb runs his business Misc. Goods Co. from there; Noel runs her home bakery business El Bread Shop from the table where we chat.
“I love allowing my kids to see me work. They have an understanding of what work looks like. Papa doesn’t disappear for 8-9 hours a day to a mysterious place. They see us work and sometimes they get to participate,” Noel explains. This past August, Noel and Tyler relocated from Shelby Park to their new live/work space in Old Louisville. When they purchased the home, it had sat vacant for 20 years but was already
stripped down to the original studs and brick. For 16 months the couple renovated the five bedroom, 3.5 bath house.Today, everything inside is new except for the original doors, brick, and stairs. Each detail in the home is intentional — the eye of an artist (Noel) and a designer (Tyler) can be seen throughout. In the entryway, a wood-burning stove framed in azure tile from Cle Tile out of Los Angeles nestles next to a custom-built cherry wood storage bin. A minimalist tan leather couch allows the giant window and plants from Forage to be the focal point of the space. The kitchen is clad in woodgrain tile, black custom cabinetry with variegated glass fronts, some open shelving, and a concrete sink from Hearthstone. In the center of the kitchen sits a wood-block island, where many loaves of bread have been mixed and kneaded. Upstairs, each of the children have a playful living space complete with bunk beds, cubbies, and a secret tunnel that connects the boys’ rooms. Deep blue tile, concrete floors, and cherry and plywood elements accentuate the original reclaimed wood and brick throughout the home. But, the most consistent design feature of the home is its functionality for work.
I LOVED THIS BREAD THING; IT BROUGHT ME SO MUCH JOY, SO I DECIDED TO TURN IT INTO A BUSINESS.” NOEL DEEB The inception of El Bread Shop began in 2015. It was a difficult year for Noel: In the process of adopting their third child, she found out she was expecting. “We went from two to four children in a year — and our oldest was only 5,” Noel says. She had always been an artist and creative-type, but with so many children, she traded in her art for kitchen projects. “I would ferment and bake, but I was never that awesome.” That is, until she stumbled on the book Sourdough by Sarah Owens. “I took a three-day retreat by myself and
LEFT: The dining room doubles as a bread kitchen, featuring a giant bread oven, an Israeli tapestry, and baked sourdough aroma. ABOVE: The upstairs hallway is a mixture of texture and light creating a lovely transition space.
PAGE 34 >> Today’s Woman / December 2019
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In the center of the kitchen sits a wood block island surrounded by custom black cabinets with glass fronts.
Noel Deeb, just before she gave birth to her fifth child.
<<PAGE 33 picked that book up on the way out of town. I fell in love with the book and came home ready to learn as much as I could about baking sourdough. I am a trial-and-error type of learner. I have to learn things the hard way. So, for a year, I baked all the time trying to perfect this craft. I thought, ‘In two to three years my kids will all be in school.What am I going to do with my life?’ I loved this bread thing; it brought me so much joy, so I decided to turn it into a business.” Kentucky recently changed its laws allowing for home bakery businesses, so now Noel bakes around 30 loaves a week and sells them from her front stoop. Her business model is basically like a subscription service. On Wednesdays, people pre-order their sourdough and pick up their fresh bread on Fridays. Tuesdays are Bread Club days, and participants receive loaves of the chef’s whim. “I am the equivalent of the crazy country-fresh-egg-lady,” Noel jokes. “I romanticized the idea of chatting with all my customers on the porch, but a lot of times I just leave it outside on the honor system.” This business model allows Noel to live a fluid and intentional family life. She is in control of how much work she’d like to endure each week, based on her family’s needs. The family can spend time together, and their home is the center of their lives. “I just want my kids to see the work we put in to make us, as a family unit, a priority. I want them to know what their mama and papa do — to teach them they can do what they love and still be with those they love.”
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A minimalist tan leather couch allows the giant window and plants to be the focal point along with the fireplace framed in azure tile.
Should This Couple Get Back Together? By Joyce Oglesby
“How do I know if I can trust someone who has lied to me and has almost cheated on me? My boyfriend showed up four hours late and said his phone had been without service all day and he couldn’t return my messages. When he got in the shower, a text appeared on his phone from one of my friends. The two of them had texted several times that day, and he had met her for a drink that ended in a passionate kiss. We broke up, but now, a year later, he has come back to say he wants only me. I’m skeptical, but even more frightening is my ex-friend works where he does. Should fear override love?” JOYCE’S FIX: Love has managed to confound the wisest of men for centuries. Whether your heart takes up residence with him again or someone else, “almost cheated” tells me a couple of things about this situation: 1) you don’t value and respect yourself as much as you should, and 2) you find ways to excuse the transgressions of those you love. Therefore, let’s definitively call the kiss a betrayal. That kiss crossed a boundary of wrongs when two people are involved in a committed relationship. A year of separation has obviously given him ample time to contemplate
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your value. I would hope the time has caused him to consider the cost of deceit, as well, so that he would not fall into a pattern of ever considering deception in any manner again. Your skepticism is plausible, but there is a good reason to entertain reuniting this relationship — Love. It’s clear you still have strong feelings (i.e., love) for him. He has remorsefully made his way back to you as the love of his life, which he squandered initially. That is a really good starting-over point for both of you. I would certainly take it slow and not dive back into the fullblown relationship. He needs to earn your respect and trust again. While this is happening, there are some “ifs” I would encourage you to look at closely. • If he lies to you about anything, he hasn’t learned his lesson on trust. • If he doesn’t respect you in all things, he won’t respect you in important things. • If you are not his primary focus, you need to consider what is. You can’t be all the time, of course — there are jobs and family and life that must be considered. But you should be a center of his attention and important enough for him to maintain reasonable contact with during each day.
• I f he is ever flirty or has questionable behavior around this coworker/ ex-friend, there could be cause for concern. • If he doesn’t put a ring on your finger after he has passed your litmus test, you should examine whether you truly are the love of his life. There should be little to no hesitation regarding matrimony when someone is certain about a soulmate. Should love override fear? I would consider myself in a prison if I ever feared in any regard the man I love. Total trust, utmost respect, and complete devotion are ingredients for lifetime commitments. What you need to decide for yourself is if your fear is warranted. You haven’t really given him an opportunity to prove himself. If he’s half the man you think you’re in love with, he will rise to the occasion and give your heart no reason to doubt his intentions. Should your uncertainty fail to subside, either he will break your heart or you will break his. Struggling with a relationship issue? Write Joyce Oglesby, Family Life FIX-IT Pro at justaskjoyce@gmail.com and find a solution for life.
One month supply less than $34, use code TW2019 for an extra 20% off at
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www.magnaweb.com | 502-254-5552 Today’s Woman / December 2019
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Todayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Woman / December 2019
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28 THINGS (Why 28? Because we are 28 years old!)
Happenings, news, and tidbits that caught Today’s Woman’s eye this month By Anita Oldham
1.
Happy Birthday to Us! This month marks the start of Today’s Woman’s 28th year! Join us for a celebration on February 13 — Galentine’s Day.
3. Our New Issue of Today’s Transitions comes out this month!
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2. WE HAVE THE PERFECT GIFT FOR YOUR FRIENDS — Buy her a ticket to our 2020 Galentine’s Event (see page 38 or buy at TodaysWomanNow.com) SPEAKERS • COCKTAILS • ACTIVITIES •
TELL US!
We believe in women helping women, and we want to keep learning from one other. In 2020, we are looking for feedback from you through our social media that we can include in our print issue. Go follow us on Instagram @TodaysWomanNow or Facebook.com/TodaysWomanNow. Here are the next two month’s questions to give you a heads up: • January: What are you changing in your life for 2020? • February: Fill in the blank: I Have the Right To __________
WINTER 2019-2020
4. What is it? Today’s Transitions is a Resource for Later Living — it is a print magazine, a directory of all senior care resources in our community, and an interactive website that allows you to search for care. 5. Where do I find It? Go to TodaysTransitionsNow.com. You can also subscribe or pick up an issue at a location listed on the website.
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–6– Searchable directory of all area care facilities!
December 2019 / TodaysWomanNow.com
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A BEST BODY SHOT TO ENCOURAGE US DURING THIS HOLIDAY SEASON (and remind you that you can sign up at TodaysWomanNow.com to be part of our Best Body coverage)
Todayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Woman / December 2019
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g 28 THINGS
We Are All Different
But You Can Get Along With Your Family
ifts
TO OUR COMMUNITY
Choosing this year’s Gifts to the Community was not a simple task — so many good things are happening in our area. This year’s featured 10 join 19 previous ones (see page 12). Here are some other great happenings we are watching. Feel free to send other ideas to anita@todaysmedianow.com.
9. T he National Women's Soccer League that’s coming to Louisville for the 2021 season. (Not to mention the new Lynn Family Stadium!)
10. K odable started by Grechen Huebner and Jon
Mattingly, two University of Louisville alums who co-founded a software company that teaches children how to code. Launched in Louisville in 2013, it is now used by more than 18 million kids. Kodable.com
11. T he Louisville Urban League’s $35 million track and
We talked to Therapist Cassie Baker, LPCC, TCADC, of Bridge Counseling and Wellness about some steps for managing challenging family situations: Rather than holding family members to your own standards of behavior, Cassie recommends recognizing you are only responsible for yourself and how you respond to others. “If a family member has a historical pattern of making troublesome comments that drive you totally bonkers, you can most likely anticipate that he or she is going to stay true to form,” she says. Cassie suggests:
14. “You don’t have to entertain or try to change bad behavior.”
15. “Instead, walk away.” 16. “Take five deep breaths.” 17. “Find someone else with whom to interact.” 18. “It’s OK to remove yourself from the situation.” 19. “Set clear boundaries in advance and hold yourself to these,” Cassie adds. “‘No’ is a complete sentence. You don’t owe people an explanation when it comes to honoring your needs.”
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DECEMBER DATES! DECEMBER 3 Giving Tuesday to help area organizations.
12. J efferson County Public Schools W.E.B. DuBois
DECEMBER 6-7 Shop for Good — The 29th annual WinterFair at Thomas Jefferson Unitarian Church, 4936 Brownsboro Road, Louisville. This year’s proceeds from the 80-item artist raffle will benefit the Kentucky Center’s Arts in Healing program. kentuckycenter.org/education-community-arts/arts-in-healing
13. T he Kentucky Chapter of Bunker Labs, a national
DECEMBER 15 Women 4 Women grant applications for programs for women and girls will be available online at w4w.org.
indoor sports complex to be completed in 2021.
Academy for boys of color and the promised counterpart for girls of color looking to open in 2020.
veteran-focused entrepreneurial organization to support local veterans and their families throughout the journey of starting their own business. The new chapter will host their first meetup on December 2, 6-8pm at the Aero Club, located at 333 Roger E. Schupp Street in Louisville. bunkerlabs.org/our-locations/ louisville/
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DECEMBER 11 5:30-7pm at the Omni Library Bar to help launch Cradled by Skeletons: A Life in Poems and Essays by Marta MirandaStraub In poems like Addiction, Social Justice Prayer, and How to Eat a Pomegranate, Marta shows us what it means to leave this place better than the way we found it, to love without restrictions, and to yoke every injustice to each other in more than words alone.
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28 THINGS
4 Places to Cozy Up in Downtown Louisville
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Check out the four-month long renovation of the historic Brown Hotel’s Lobby Bar. Listen to live piano music and enjoy a hot brown and a cocktail while you sink into oversized sofas and chairs.
Stop in and have sourdough loaf and Kentucky pimento cheese at Walker’s Exchange, open inside The Galt House Hotel. Walker’s Exchange pays homage to Louisville’s early days as a bustling port city and is named for a restaurant that opened in the same site nearly 200 years ago.
Photo by David Ward
Photo by Nathan Pedigo
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Go up to 8UP Restaurant Iglous and sip on a Not Your Granny’s Apple Pie. (Old Forester signature, house-infused cinnamon-red apple liqueur) while feeling cozy on top of the city.
Sip a Bacon Old Fashioned, one of four curated Old-Fashioneds on the menu, at the new Repeal Steakhouse bar on Whiskey Row.
28. LAST MINUTE GIFT IDEAS The first 1,500 receive a free plush elephant.
Feel Good! SO MANY GREAT THINGS ARE HAPPENING HERE
DECEMBER 2019
What’s more Kentuckian than Ale-8-One? ale8one.com.
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Bourbon Women’s Terry Scoop Neck Top. bourbonwomen.org
December 2019 / TodaysWomanNow.com
Zoo Membership — Purchase at louisvillezoo.org/HOL19 by December 31 with code HOL19 to receive $5 off any gift membership.
Purchase a 1- or 2-year subscription. TodaysWomanNow.com/ subscribe.
Todayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Woman / December 2019
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HER CURRENT OBSESSIONS:
POWER, MUSIC, ART, AND ASKING QUESTIONS
“I turned a bedroom in my house into a movie room. I have an orange midcentury sectional, a mounted projector, a screen, and sound system. I recently subscribed to the Criterion Channel streaming service. I love that because not only can I watch the movie, I can go deeper into learning what went into making this movie,” Leigh says. By Lucy M. Pritchett Photos by Patti Hartog
What better way to get to know Today’s Woman than through her Current Obsessions? This month we meet a woman who thinks deeply, has a penchant for bongos, and whose teenage goal was to be a beatnik. Can you dig it? What prompts someone to study philosophy? This is how Leigh Viner, assistant professor of philosophy at Indiana University Southeast, explains the discipline’s allure: “I was attracted to philosophy’s intensity of curiosity. It is unbridled. Philosophers think about everything. That’s just my personality. I was drawn to philosophy because of the questions that I asked myself — What is the meaning of life? How does one live a good life? Is there a God? What is the nature of reality? What is death? What is my place in the world? Even as a child I thought about these questions.”
POWER Lately I’ve been obsessed with understanding the nature of power so I’ve been reading Foucault, Beauvoir, and Nietzsche. I’m curious as to how power operates. There are different kinds of power — self-mastery, power over someone, the capacity to do things. But, it is not just about controlling or mastering other people. Often power is hidden but significant.
MUSIC As a teenager I was obsessed with the beatniks. In my own mind I was one. I wore a beret, and my parents got me a set of bongos,
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which I still play. I also have a full drum kit. I love the drums because playing them uses your whole body in a way that other instruments don’t. I currently play with the band Bird Dog & His Coyote Gospel Choir. I play a kind of funky jazz flute.
ART In the last few years as I have traveled I have made it a point to visit art museums. I love art in every form — visual, performance, poetry, film. Art is a refuge for recharging my soul. I am a situationist artist who creates experiences or shifts the nature of the artistic experience in ordinary life. I recently taught a class on philosophy at the Louisville Free Public Library and crafted it as an interactive performance.
ASIAN FOOD Three of my favorite Louisville restaurants are Dragon King’s Daughter on Bardstown Road, Vietnam Kitchen in the South End, and Dakshin in Fern Creek.
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A POWERFUL WAY TO CALM YOUR MIND When life is awful, you need to use this. By Bob Mueller
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ithout steadiness of mind, no one can face the challenges of life without breaking. Life today is challenging to say the least. We live in the midst of conflicts — within ourselves, at home, in the community, and especially nationally and internationally. This is an age of conflict, which makes it an age of anxiety as well. Nothing is more vital than learning to face the turmoil with confidence and compassion.
I love L.R. Knost’s quote: “Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing. And then it’s awful again. And in between the amazing and the awful, it’s ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That’s just living. Heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.” We already have the capacity to deal with challenges, but we need a calm mind. How do we calm the mind? One very
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powerful way is so simple that everyone can learn it easily right now: the repetition of a prayer word or a mantra. You can think of the mantra as a handrail for the mind. It gives you something to hold on to, so that you can steady yourself in confusing circumstances until your thoughts become clear. Repeating the mantra is an appeal for resources that are always present but seem invisible in times of trouble. What is a mantra? How can it help you? How does it work? The term mantra or mantram stands for a word or short phrase that you can repeat silently to yourself to help you cope with stress. It has the power to calm and steady your mind whenever you need access to deeper reserves of strength or patience within you. This simple skill is thousands of years old. Saint Francis of Assisi repeated “My God and my all.” Mahatma Gandhi used “Rama, rama.” I grew up saying the Jesus prayer: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on us.” Others I use are from Scripture — “My Shepherd is the Lord,” or “Into your hands I commend
my Spirit.” If you are like me, you might say to yourself that this is just too simple to work. But if you faithfully try using a mantra of your choice, you will be amazed how effective it is. How does the mantra help? It calms you down, whether you’re facing a minor irritation or a major drama. It stops you from reacting too quickly. It stymies anger, fear, and panic. It gives you breathing space — and it works fast. If you start using it today, you’ll probably feel the benefit of it the very next time you face a problem. But the more often you repeat the mantra, the deeper its benefits go. We can’t control life, but we can control how we respond to life’s challenges. The mantra is a key tool for steadying the mind. It’s not just mechanical repetition — you learn to trust by using it. A steady mind has the resources to meet any crisis, no matter what the cause. Bob Mueller is the mission and stewardship officer at Hosparus Health www.bobmueller.org.
Todayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Woman / December 2019
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THE HUNT
FOR CLOTHING By Marie Bradby Photos by Erika Doll
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aggie Morris is a thrift shopper, mostly Goodwill and the Nearly New Shop. "My boyfriend and I have a standing date probably every other weekend. I get a lot of trousers and sweaters at Goodwill. I always find a good jacket and coat. You can find a good tweed jacket for $10. It’s the art of the hunt.”
Maggie recently left a marketing job and is currently searching for her next. She is also working on her master’s degree in business marketing from Indiana University Southeast. “I am a marketer, through and through!” She describes her work wardrobe as “laid back and refined. I’ve always been drawn to Parisian fashion, where the focus is on timeless pieces rather than brand names,” Maggie says. “It’s easy to get the look you want without spending an arm and a leg.” In the office, she vacillates between casual to dressed up with heels. Because she has an hourglass shape and is busty, she doesn’t wear anything low-cut and belts her dresses “so I don’t look like a potato.” For new clothes, she shops online: Mango, Everlane, Zara, Asos, and Uniqlo. “I purchase my items so I can wear them with anything. I keep my accessories simple. I wear a small gold locket necklace and a gold signet ring on my pinky. That’s it. “I have white hair, so I try to be a little bit understated, because it could easily seem like a lot,” she adds. “I’m a creative person,” says Maggie, adding she doesn’t like to plan too far ahead. “I might wake up and decide to wear red lipstick. I might wake up and decide I’ve never worn yellow before, and I probably should.”
HER HUNTING METHODS: • “In the winter, I go for neutral colors: black jeans, with a black turtleneck, and a vintage coat. • “I love trench coats. They can make anything cool.” HER ADVICE: • “Don’t think too hard. Women in general will say, ‘I would wear that, but I can’t pull it off.’ Yes, you can. If you like it, and it’s work appropriate, wear it. • “The biggest thing is to have a closet where most things go together so you don’t have to plan.
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December 2019 / TodaysWomanNow.com
I ENJOY WEARING A PROFESSIONAL DRESS WITH SNEAKERS.”
Todayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Woman / December 2019
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WHAT BIRTHDAY TRIP WOULD YOU TAKE? By Megan M. Seckman
SHE CHOSE THE GREEK ISLANDS FULL OF SUN, SIGHTS, AND STAIRS
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henever a sibling in the Mikan family turns 40, they get to choose a destination for an epic birthday bash. They’ve celebrated birthdays in Costa Rica, London, and Vegas. This past August it was Sondra’s turn, and she chose the picturesque islands of Greece. “Greece has always been that place for me,” Sondra says. Her wanderlust has been drawn toward that quintessential shot of Santourini from the Aegean Sea. The stark white buildings with blue shutters, the cascading bougainvillea, and, of course, the cats. So, after a little research about how to maximize 10 days in Greece, she, her sisters Stephanie and Marilyn, and her brother-inlaw Rick, decided the best way to see the islands of Greece (there are a whopping 6,000 of them) would be by boat. Island hopping takes a lot of time and planning, and since Sondra is not a cruise-shiptype-of-gal, she found the perfect solution: Windstar, a 150-passenger, luxury catered ship (because you only turn 40 once, right?) that travels throughout the Grecian islands (with a stop-over in Turkey). Aboard the white, sail-studded ship, the family could have a home base, prepared meals, and a full bar — and still
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One of the islands the boat stopped by was the ancient island Santourini.
have the opportunity to view many destinations in a short period of time, because all the traveling would be done for them as they slept. After a long day of shopping, touring ancient relics, and, as Sondra says, “always walking up” (the Greek isles are filled with steep, hilly terrain), they could come back to the ship, sip Greek cocktails, and eat dinners of fresh octopus and Greek salads on the ship’s teak deck. Each night dinner was accompanied by a stunning sunset over the crystal blue waters of the Aegean. Sondra walked away from her birthday trip to Greece with newfound confidence and a deep appreciation for the things going right in her 40 years — like a close connection to her siblings, who are not only willing to travel together but will all walk 999 stairs alongside her so that she can make it to the top. Happy birthday indeed.
December 2019 / TodaysWomanNow.com
Sondra Milkan says you will be hot and you will do a lot of climbing on the islands of Greece.
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A PERFECT COOKIE MADE WITH LOVE Story and photos by Madeleine Dee
CHOCOLATE PRETZEL CRINKLE COOKIES Can make up to 4 or 5 dozen, depending on how big you make them.
INGREDIENTS: • 8 oz. (Rold Gold Tiny Twist) pretzels, crushed thoroughly in a food processor You will end up with about 2.5 cups of what is essentially pretzel flour • 3/4 cup Hershey’s Special Dark cocoa powder • 1 tbsp. baking powder • 1 1/2 cups granulated sugar • 3/4 cup vegetable oil • 4 large eggs, room temperature • 1 tbsp. vanilla extract • 1 tsp. espresso powder, optional • Powdered sugar DIRECTIONS: 1. Combine the sugar, eggs, oil, espresso powder, and vanilla thoroughly. Add in the pretzels, cocoa powder, and baking powder, stirring until just combined. 2. Cover and chill for 2-3 hours. 3. Heat oven to 350°F.
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y grandmother’s name was Norma Lee. She was warm, gentle, clever, funny, and talented. Most importantly, she expressed herself and her love for others with food. When she passed away, she took a part of me with her, and I only recently accepted that she’s gone. In fact, I was so in denial and unwilling to think about my feelings that I left her recipes in a box for several years because it was too painful to see her handwriting. However, during a recent move, a folder inside the recipe box caught my eye because it had my name on it. There was nothing inside, but I was suddenly paralyzed with memories of special items she’d made just for me. I smiled through tears as I started to hungrily leaf through the box, wondering what had once been inside this folder. Then I remembered chocolate crinkle cookies. She made an entire batch (as in several dozen) every Christmas even though no one ate them but me. The funniest part is that the recipe involved
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December 2019 / TodaysWomanNow.com
simply adding a couple ingredients to cake mix! She always laughed about them being my favorite, but they were perfect — chocolatey, soft, moist, chewy, and so ugly that they were beautiful. I’ll never forget exactly how they tasted or how special they made me feel. I mattered. No one else favored these but me, yet that was enough reason for her to make them. It was OK to be different. With a quick batch of cookies, she told me annually that I was accepted and loved just as I was. Isn’t it astounding how powerful food can be? Since she loved pretzels so much (specifically Rold Gold Tiny Twists), I thought I’d have some fun using them to replace the box mix. I hope that you will enjoy this recipe. One of the best things about it is that you can use gluten-free pretzels if you want to treat someone who has celiac disease. The espresso powder is optional, but it magically enhances the chocolate flavor of the cookies without tasting like coffee at all.
4. Scoop evenly-sized portions of the dough into a large container filled with powdered sugar. For best results, use a #40 spring-loaded ice cream scoop, which measures a bit less than 2 tbsp. (It’s a very common scoop to have at home, and it will be your best friend for every batch of cookies you ever make because it will always ensure perfectlysized and perfectly even cookies.) If you do not own one, that is OK. Just be sure that your cookie scoops are all the same size. 5. Very gently coat the dough balls in powdered sugar and lay them out on a cookie sheet lined with a silpat or parchment paper. Give them plenty of space, baking 12 per sheet. During this process, the balls of dough will start to soften and flatten a bit. Don’t worry because they don’t have to be round! In fact, if you scoop and roll them into spheres, they may stay round during baking and end up dense or under baked. 6. Bake for 10-12 minutes, then remove from the oven. More or less time may be needed depending on the size you make the cookies. It’s best to do a small test batch before you make a full sheet! 7. Allow the cookies to rest in the sheet pan for 5 minutes, then carefully remove them to a platter or a clean piece of parchment paper to cool. These are best when cooled or slightly warm. Store in an airtight container if there are any leftovers!