FEBRuary 2012
P o w e r
Celebrating 20 Years
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S t y l e
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W e l l n e s s
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C o n n e c t i o n s
Why You Should
Wear Red A Storybook Ending
Meet Our Weight Loss Challengers
Warm Up!
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February 2012 articles
Contents
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About This Issue
By Anita oldham
Power I am Today’s Woman
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By Lucy M. Pritchett
Survival Skills: Put Your Heart Into Your Profession 12 By Marie Bradby
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20 Things
By ANITA OLDHAM
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Looking Back 20 Years
By ANITA OLDHAM and Kim Kerby
STYLE
Eve*olution Celebration
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By Melissa Donald
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13 Inspirations By Holly Gregor
WELLNESS
Light Bite: Shepherd’s Pie
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By Melissa Donald
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Grieving: Take the Time You Need 32 By Cheryl StucK
Ready to Change Your Life
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By Melissa Donald
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Love Lost & Found
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By Connie Meyer
Don’t Get Taken for a Ride
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By tiffany White
CONNECTIONS 6 Things Not to Miss
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By Gioia Patton and Kim Kerby
Is It Really Love?
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By Joyce Oglesby
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Fix Your Flaws Heart Supplement Little Red Riding Hood: Why She Wore Red
By tiffany White
LittLe Red Riding Hood: W h y
S h e
W o r e
r e d
Also starring the Big Bad Wolf in the role of Heart Disease
CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT!
2012 Go Red FoR Women S
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sponsored by
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Today’s Woman
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Today’s Woman
Cover On Our
Volume 22 8 Number 2
Celebrating 20 Years
ADVERTISING DIRECTOR Susan Allen
EDITOR Anita Oldham
susan@todayspublications.com
editor@todayspublications.com
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SALES DIRECTOR Cheryl Suhr
COntributing EDITOR Lucy M. Pritchett
cheryl@todayspublications.com
Assistant EDITOR Tiffany White
account executive Teri Hickerson
tiffany@todayspublications.com
teri@todayspublications.com
R
ebecca Pehlke proudly wears red to show the value she places on taking care of her heart, and this month, we are encouraging every woman to do the same. Find out what she has to say about how heart disease has changed her life (page 70) and learn what you can do to keep your heart healthy and strong. — Tiffany White
SenioR Advertising Designer April H. Allman
account executive Rose Helm rose@todayspublications.com
april@todayspublications.com
kathyb@todayspublications.com
OFFICE MANAGER Jacklyn Walker
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Photo: Melissa Donald Makeup: Holly Oyler
Today’s Woman Co-Founder Kit Hartmann Abell (left) and Publisher Cathy Zion (right) reunite at the Eve*olution Fashion Show to celebrate 20 Years of Today’s Woman. (The magazine was co-founded by Abell and the late Gayle Uhls, in 1991.)
SenioR page & Graphic Designer Kathy Bolger
jacklyn@todayspublications.com
INTERNS: KIM KERBY kim@todayspublications.com JESSI WINNER jessi@todayspublications.com
PRODUCTION COORDINATOR Sharon Adams
Makeup artist Holly Oyler
sharona@todayspublications.com
STYLIST Wendy Anguiano
Circulation Manager W. Earl Zion
photographer/Food Writer Melissa Donald
wendy@todayspublications.com
melissa@todayspublications.com
Reprints are available!
Call Jacklyn, (502) 327-8855, ext. 10, or email us at reprints@todayspublications.com with details and specifics. For advertising information in Today’s Woman, call (502) 327-8855. Today’s Woman
BBB Rating of
is published monthly by:
Zion Publications, LLC 9750 Ormsby Station Road, Suite 307, Louisville, KY 40223 Phone: (502) 327-8855 • Fax: (502) 327-8861 www.iamtodayswoman.com
Subscriptions are available by sending $18 to the above address for 12 monthly issues. Today’s Woman magazine is published monthly by Zion Publications LLC and distributed free to the people of metropolitan Louisville and Southern Indiana. Circulation 50,000 guaranteed. The opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the position of the publisher. Today’s Woman magazine does not endorse or guarantee any advertiser’s product or service.
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Copyright 2012 by Zion Publications LLC with all rights reserved. Reproduction or use of editorial or graphic content in any manner is prohibited without permission from Zion Publications LLC.
Today’s Woman
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I am Today’s Woman ~ Quirky and Sassy Sondra Powell ~ Owner, Red Hot Roasters, Lexington Rd. and Payne St. by Lucy M. Pritchett / Photo: Melissa donald
AGE: 36 HOUSEHOLD: Handicat, her threelegged cat Neighborhood: Jeffersonville
Be Mine:
I like the wink of vintage valentines. I shop for them all year long. They are so innocent. Men and women sent them to friends, sisters, brothers, parents. They weren’t all sexed up like today. I miss the idea of courting and dating. Writing letters. We have lost the art of flirting. Everyone is in a hurry.
Sweet Talk:
When I was in school, my mom was the one who brought red Jello hearts for my class. And every year my grandfather bought me a Russell Stover red heart full of chocolates. That is still my favorite candy.
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Sweetheart:
One year, I spent all night making cream cheese cookies decorated with raspberry jam hearts for a ‘special boy.’ He ate them in two minutes. He just didn’t appreciate the extra love that went into them.
Dream:
My best Valentine date ever would involve going to an oldschool amusement park and riding any ride that involves centrifugal force: the Graviton, Himalayan, and my all-time favorite, the Scrambler. After spinning around all afternoon, the perfect ending would be the burger from Jack Fry’s with those fantastic baconwrapped dates and a big red wine.
Magic:
Red roses are the perfect Valentine flower. Keep it classic.
Charm Me:
One of my favorite romantic movies is Gone With the Wind. Scarlett is such an independent, strong heroine. A good book about romance, Anatomy of Love by Helen Fisher, is an anthropology book that looks at how people fall in love.
Love Letter:
We have Valentine’s Day specials at Red Hot Roasters. One for romantics. One for the cynics. The Berry Red Hot Mocha Kiss is made with white chocolate, strawberry, espresso, and steamed milk served with a kiss — Hershey’s of course.
The Honey You Can’t Handle Me Latte is made with honey, blue raspberry, espresso, and steamed milk.
I Love You:
My parents have the ideal marriage, in my eyes. They have been married 43 years. Their marriage sets an example of what it means to love and care for another person. Sometimes they bicker and work each other’s last nerve, but at the end of the day, they really love each other. They have stood by each other and have honored all their marriage vows. Sometimes today, I think it’s easy to give up, to think something better is waiting around the corner. They taught me that when you love each other, you see it through until the end.
Today’s Woman
www.iamtodayswoman.com / www.facebook.com/todayswomanmagazine / @todayswomannow
2012
February
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Survival Skills: Put Your Heart Into Your Profession
Dr. Pat Kennedy Arrington
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n 1980, five years after Dr. Pat Kennedy Arrington and her husband, Rick Arrington, first opened the Jefferson Animal Hospital and Regional Emergency Center on the Outer Loop, they extended the hours of operation, creating, they believe, the first animal hospital in the country to be open 24 hours for emergency and routine wellness visits. “We researched it and determined that there was a big market in Louisville,” said Pat, 66. “Ford and GE had three shifts. The medical facilities downtown had three shifts. These people come home, and their pet is sick. So we were successful pretty much immediately. You can come at 2 a.m. for a vaccination.” The practice, which caters to small companion animals, recently opened a branch on Bardstown Road in Fern Creek. Pat — who was named “Kentucky Veterinarian of the Year” in 2011 by the Kentucky Veterinary Medical Association (KVMA) — has often been at the forefront of her profession. When she began studying veterinary medicine in 1967 at Auburn University in Alabama, there were only four women in the program of 120 students. In her 42 years of work, a lot has changed in the business of operating a vet practice, including an influx of women. “I was thrilled to be part of that good change,” Pat said, adding that women now make up 60-80 percent of every veterinary class. Of her staff of up to 50 people, 11 of the 12 vets are women. She’s watched veterinary medicine become more specialized. Nine of her staff members are in veterinary school. “One graduated a year ago, and is doing a residency in dermatology,” said Pat, who is a certified Veterinary Family Practitioner, one of only 15 in the nation. There’s also been an industry shift in patient focus from mostly horses, cattle, and pigs, to small pets — dogs, cats, and avian/ exotics, including rabbits, ferrets, snakes, large iguanas, hedgehogs, and sugar gliders. “We’ve got some cool stuff,” she said. “We see a lot of cancer in pets. I think it’s because people are taking their pets in more than before and we have better diagnostic abilities. Now we have ultrasound, digital x-ray, MRI, digital endoscopy.”
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by Marie Bradby
Pat headed the committee that wrote a book on the history of the KVMA, 100 Years of Compassionate Care, the History of the Kentucky Veterinary Medical Association, 1911-2011. Here are some success guidelines based on her own experience:
Rule #1: Make a difference. “Whether you’re
a waitress or a janitor, you have the ability to make a change everyday. I try to make an improvement in my practice, in my community, every day. I try to teach my staff that whatever you do, you can do a better job.”
Rule #2: Step outside of the norm.
She attributes the success of her business to being innovative, not only in becoming a 24-hour animal hospital 22 years ago, but also advertising in the early ’80s when doctors and lawyers didn’t advertise.
Rule #3: Hire people with compassion, empathy, and good listening skills. “Some
clients come in prepared to put their pet to sleep. It’s our job to help them deal with end-of-life issues so they don’t feel guilty, so they enjoy their pet’s last moments.”
Rule #4: Share your knowledge.
“You have to love to teach others, to share what you know. I thrive on teaching others how to do a good job.” Pat has mentored in the veterinary medicine Explorer Post for the Boy Scouts of America.
Rule #5: Set a good example every day. “Show
photo: Melissa Donald
up with a positive attitude, say, ‘Good morning,’ and smile.”
Rule #6: Provide staff development. “We just had a staff meeting on ‘compassion fatigue.’ Our staff loves every creature that comes in. It’s difficult when they have to euthanize a pet. We hug our clients, we cry over our patients.”
Rule #7: Don’t settle for where you are. “Look for ways
you can do things better. Pat uses inspections as an opportunity to improve her business. “My staff gets involved in this as team building. It builds your organization and sets the bar of: ‘Catch us if you can.’ ”
Rule #8: Delegate. “I have
fantastic managers, a fantastic husband; I have people I can go to so I can take a break, so I can leave town. Women always try to do too much.”
Today’s Woman
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Happenings, news, celebrations, and tidbits that caught e w Today’s Woman’s eye e ar e this month. 2 0
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Alternative Valentine’s Dinner
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At Bernheim Forest on February 11-12, catered by Jarfi’s Bistro. Enjoy an enchanted dinner for two with a romantic candlelit dinner including music and dancing. Seating starts at 7 p.m. Reserve by February 6. Call 502.955.8512. Bernheim members: $120 per couple (non-members, $150)
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Another Option on February 14 Whitehall House & Gardens Valentine’s Dinner on February 14 in its historic mansion. A five-course feast will be prepared by Chef Gregoire Guiot of Mirabelle Gourmet Catering. Starting at 7 p.m., $75/person for dinner with non-alcohol beverage or $100/person for dinner with wine pairings. Call 502.897.2944 or whitehall@historichomes.org. Proceeds benefit Whitehall House & Gardens. FEBRuary
2012
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by ANITA Oldham rs old !
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ry one of Winston’s Restaurant’s (at Sullivan University) monthly wine tasting classes. The price per person is $25, which includes five tasting portions of the featured wines, light snacks and instructional materials. Reservations: 503.456.0980.
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February 23 Region: South America — Chile and Argentina 6-7:30pm Guest Speaker: David Dubou, Vintner Select
Chocolate Lovers’ Festival February 11 www.frenchlick.com or 888.936.9390
Home, Garden & Remodeling Show March 2, 3, 4
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Stop by the Home, Garden and Remodeling Show at the Kentucky Exposition Center. Besides ideas about getting your home ready for Spring, the show has “howto” seminars about container gardening, local food production and homesteading, home organization, spring cleaning tips. And, for a little entertainment, the K-9 Disc Connected Dog Show will perform multiple times each day. www.LouisvilleHomeShow.com. We are giving away tickets to this show — learn more on our Facebook page www.facebook.com/todayswomanmagazine or twitter: @TodaysWomanNow
March 22: Region:Oregon 6-7:30pm Guest Speaker: Will Albert, Republic National
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Still Got Your Resolutions? Let this Help!
Chef Mary Wheatley is offering classes on eating healthier and for athletes and mothers of athletes: Using Spices and Fresh Herbs instead of Fat, Sugar and Salt — February 8 Eat to be Fit + Nutrition and Training — February 29 Both of the classes are from 6:30-8pm at Beargrass Christian Church, Cost $10 per. Register at mary@cookwithmary.com or 502.429.5070 PAGE 16
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Today’s Woman
www.iamtodayswoman.com / www.facebook.com/todayswomanmagazine / @todayswomannow
2012
FEBRuary
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Trump International Hotel & Tower New York January 15, 2012 through January 15, 2013 (855) TRUMP-00 (878.6700) toll-free. Celebrates 15 Years
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OR —
Celebrate at Louisville’s Historic Brown Hotel for less that $200. It’s been 32 years since they reopened in 1980. They were recently included on Travel + Leisure’s 2012 List of Top 500 World’s Best Hotels. The complete review is available on the Travel + Leisure website at www.travelandleisure.com
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Wear RED on February 3 Remember Your Heart.
Pearls & Pumps
Baptist East Foundation is working to raise the awareness of minimally invasive surgery with a fashion show and brunch on February 11, 11am-1:30pm at The Olmsted, www.baptisthospitalfoundation.kintera.org/ pearlsandpumps
One of our favorites,
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WAVE3 TV anchor Dawne Gee has a special weekly program where she interviews local people who are making a difference. “WAVE Country with Dawne Gee,” 7 p.m. Saturdays.
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J
anet Fritsche, Polly Dabney and Bonnie England volunteer daily, providing services to community residents at Masonic Homes of Kentucky. All three volunteers for Masonic Homes of Kentucky were recently honored by the Kentucky Association of Health Care Facilities with a 2011-12 Group Volunteer of the Year Award.
Lynn Winter’s Broken Heart
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Seated, Bonnie England. Standing L to R: Masonic Home of Louisville Hospitality Services General Manager Gary McCurdy, Janet Fritsche, Masonic Home of Louisville Life Enrichment Director Dama Maynard; and Polly Dabney.
word to the wise: if you’re a woman, learn to be your own best advocate, or find someone who will be. Women’s heart attacks don’t look like men’s, and can easily be mistaken as ‘panic attacks.’ So don’t give up! This advice is from a woman who knows. Lynn Winter, well-known owner of Lynn’s Paradise Café, had a heart attack that literally brought her to her knees in May 2010. She was in Los Angeles. Stabbing chest pain. Unable to breathe. When she went to the emergency room, the doctor told her to go home and take a Midol. Not to be dismissed, Lynn insisted on a blood test. After the tests came back positive, she was immediately set up for a heart catheterization. One doctor told her she had a rare form of heart attack called Takotsubo, also known as broken heart syndrome, that appears under circumstances of exceptional and extreme stress. Another doctor told her it was possibly from some other heart condition that may have been preexisting for up to 10 years. In any case, her heart is mending. Lynn says: “I’m on a much healthier trajectory, experimenting with different approaches to a healthy heart. And I’m looking very forward to a (hopefully) loooong life!” Read a full profile on Lynn in the March issue of Today’s Woman.
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Photo: Trump Hotel Collection
Priced at $15,000, this anniversary package sparkles with signature elements and surprise touches: • Two nights in a one-bedroom Central Park-view suite • A 750ml bottle of Louis Roederer Cristal Brut Champagne • Rock Crystal Jewelry from Ivanka Trump Fine Jewelry, including the 16” Rose Gold Chain With Rock Crystal Center Stone, Long Rose Gold Rock Crystal and Diamond Drop Earring on Diamond French Wire, and 7.5” Rock Crystal and Diamond Chain Bracelet • A Shonbek Crystal Chandelier (the same design that was hand-picked by Donald J. Trump to grace each suite at the hotel) • A pair of Christian Louboutin “Fifi” pumps, cloaked in crystals, with a 100mm heel • Dinner for two at Jean Georges, the hotel’s three-Michelin-Star restaurant, including a bottle of premier Champagne • Breakfast for two daily at Nougatine
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Thinking my husband might think this sounds fun (and very reasonably priced)...
— Gioia Patton
Today’s Woman
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CRAFTING TACTILE JEWELRY WORKSHOP
Learn about techniques to make jewelry from tactile materials. Free, best for ages over 12. February 18, 10:30 a.m.–12:30 p.m. at the American Printing House for the Blind on 1839 Frankfort Avenue. Call 502.899.2213 or www.aph.org.
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P o w e r
Help Me Prove My Son Wrong
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Celebrating 20 YearS
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S t y l e
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W e l l n e s s
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C o n n e c t i o n s
Why you Should
Wear Red A Storybook Ending
Meet our Weight Loss Challengers
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Warm Up! So, my teenage son threw Jarret Oldham down a challenge, saying that his personal Twitter account had more and could keep more followers than TodaysWomanNow, our new Twitter account. Please help us get ahead of him. Follow TodaysWomanNow. (He said it wasn’t fair that his account was not mentioned so I will mention it: @JarretOldham)
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Ahhhh… A new location
(4141 Shelbyville Road in Richlawn Plaza) to get a massage at Therapeutic Touch. They say this location offers Ashiatsu barefoot massage, facial toning massage, and foot detox in addition to other services. Congratulations to Catherine Williams, who opened her first location12 years ago! (Valentine note: They do have couples massages at this location.)
Instead of Sweets?
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ry a workout with your friend or significant other in honor of Valentine’s Day! Joanna Daniel is a certified personal trainer and is owner of Mind Your Muscles. Alison Cardoza is a personal trainer and dance instructor. Go to www.iamtodayswoman.com for more exercises you can do with a partner.
Vote for a Beautiful Baby at
www.todaysfamilymag.com
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Alison and her husband John Cardoza demonstrate “The Kiss” — One partner is in the reverse, elbow plank (face up) and the other is in the front, straight-arm plank with his face directly over the face of his partner. Start with just a peck, then progress to a big fat smooch for the desired length of time!
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Co-workers Joanna Daniel and Alison Cardoza show us The Heart Plank — Both partners are in side, straight-arm plank position. Reach up and round top arms, touching tips of fingers together to form a big heart. Start with a 20-second hold and progress to one minute.
Arts Insider Must-See Nellie McKay: the Chameleon
(Greater Louisville Outstanding Women), a network of connected and creative women doing business in Louisville who come together monthly to strategize, share ideas, refer clients and promote the events of their organizations of interest. www.glowlouisville.com
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magine, if you will, the creative mind of the artist, who has, for instance, not only performed on A Prairie Home Companion, sung Woody Allen movie songs at the Hollywood Bowl, and in 2009 recorded a tribute to Doris Day — titled Normal as Blueberry Pie — but, who is also behind the 2011 creation of a critically acclaimed film-noir musical biography cabaret act from the life of Barbara Graham, a convicted murderer who was the third woman to die in the gas chamber in California (at San Quentin) in 1955. Although it’s been years since I moved back home to Louisville after living in Manhattan throughout my 20s; because I’ve never stopped my New York Times Sunday paper subscription explains why the burgeoning career of singer/songwriter/actress/ musician/satirist Nellie McKay has been on my radar since WHEN: February 12 @ 7pm the release of her breakthrough debut Get Away From WHEre: Kentucky Center’s Me (2006). ‘If McKay ever comes in concert to Louisville Bomhard Theater TICKETS: $25 I’ll be there’ I’d often say to myself, after reading glowing CONTACT: Kentucky Center box New York Times reviews about McKay’s latest cabaret act office. Or 502.584.7777 or visit www.kentuckycenter.org and/or recordings.
PHOTO: Rick GonzaleZ
Happy Third Anniversary to GLOW
To read the Arts Insider’s phone interview with Nellie McKay, whose I Want to Live! show is at the Kentucky Center this month, go to this issue’s online edition at www.iamtodayswoman.com
— Gioia Patton
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Today’s Woman
www.iamtodayswoman.com / www.facebook.com/todayswomanmagazine / @todayswomannow
2012
FEBRUary
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your
www.stites.com • 502.587.3400 • Fax 502.387.6391
presents
Professional Connections Calendar Your go-to spot for professional networking and career-building opportunities around Louisville BPW- Business and Professional Women- New Albany Every 3rd Monday • 5:30 p.m. Tucker’s American Favorites 2045 State Street New Albany Sarah Ring 502.550.9503 BPW- Business & Professional Women- River City Every 2nd Wednesday • Noon Lunch and Program noon-1pm The Bristol-Downtown 502.499.4420, www.bpwrc.org
The Heart Link Network Every 1st Wednesday • 6:30 p.m. Inverness at Hurstbourne Condos 1200 Club House Drive Barbara Madore 502.377.8625 www.40222.theheartlinknetwork.com
NAWBO- National Association of Women Business Owners Every 3rd Tuesday info@nawbolouisville.org www.nawbolouisville.org
IAAP- International Association of Administrative ProfessionalsLouisville Every 2nd Thursday • 5 p.m. 4007 Kresge Way, 2nd Floor Paula Kessler 502.495.5116 Paula_Kessler@kyfbins.com www.iaap-louisville.org
National Association of Women in Construction Every 2nd Monday • 5:30 p.m. Call for meeting location Patty Stewart 812.288.4208 #121
eWoman Network Every 3rd Thursday • Noon Wildwood Country Club 5000 Bardstown Rd. Angela Reedus 502.592.8244 www.ewomennetwork.com
Legal Secretaries of Louisville Every 3rd Tuesday • 11:30am Bristol Bar & Grille 614 West Main Street Alice Harris 502.595.2310 #339 aharris@louisvilleprosecutor.com www.legalseclou-ky.org
EWI- Executive Women International- Kentuckiana Every 3rd Tuesday • 5:30 p.m. Louis T. Roth & Co. 2100 Gardiner Lane Roberta Brock 502.581.2059 roberta.brock@pnc.com
MLWPC- Metropolitan Louisville Women’s Political Caucus Every 3rd Thursday • 5:30 p.m. City Cafe 505 West Broadway Angie Wallace akwallace0818@yahoo.com www.mlwpc.org
All listings are on a per month basis. To list your meeting free of charge in the calendar, email us your meeting date, time, location, a contact phone number, and website to info@todayspublications.com or fax to 502.327.8861. Deadline for inclusion is five weeks prior to issue date (e.g. June 25 for August issue).
Network Now Every 2nd Friday • 11:45 a.m. Hurstbourne Country Club Lee Ann Lyle 502.836.1422 lee@lalcomputers.com NIA Women’s Roundtable Every 2nd Friday • 8:30 a.m. NIA Center 2900 West Broadway – 3rd floor Suzanne Carter 502-775-2548 suzannec@morethanconsultants.org WIN- Women in Networking Every 2nd Wednesday • 11:15 a.m. Oxmoor Country Club 9000 Limehouse Lane WIN- Women in Networking II Every 3rd Wednesday • 11:30 a.m. Fern Valley Conference Center 2715 Fern Valley Road Kim Fusting 502.267.7066 kimins@bellsouth.net
WIN- Women in Networking III Every 2nd Tuesday • 11:30 a.m. Hurstbourne Country Club Charlaine Reynolds 502.742.5802 Charlaine.Reynolds@gmail.com OR Stephanie Riggle 502.454.9134 Stephanie.Riggle@ grannynannies-ky.com WIN- Women in Networking IV Every 3rd Tuesday • 11:30 a.m. Breckinridge Inn 2800 Breckinridge Lane Lindsey Davis 502.727.9003 info@win4louisville.org WOAMTEC-Women On A Mission To Earn Commission Every 2nd and 4th Wednesday • 11:30 a.m. Limestone Restaurant 10001 Forest Green Blvd. Charlene Burke 812.951.3177 www.woamtec.com Women’s Council of Realtors Every 3rd Thursday • 11:30 a.m. Wildwood Country Club 5000 Bardstown Rd. Kathy McGann 502.552.3090 jshaber@venturetg.com ZONTA- Advancing The Status of Women Every 1st Thursday • 6:00 p.m. Logan’s Steakhouse 5005 Shelbyville Road Joyce Cain 502.339.8682 joyce.cain@insightbb.com
Spotlight On Education Taking the first step toward a fulfilling career in Social Work begins with a program whose mission is to advance human well-being through the promotion of economic and social justice. Social work is also an exceptionally marketable degree. Social workers are employed in clinics, social service agencies, schools and hospitals as administrators, clinicians, therapists, direct service providers, case managers and advocates for systemic change. Spalding University offers both the Bachelor of Science in Social Work (BSSW) and Master of Social Work (MSW) degrees—both fully accredited by the Council on Social Work Education. Dr. Phyllis Platt, Chair School of Social Work 20 18
FEBRuary 2012 2012 february
Dr. Phyllis Platt, Chair, School of Social Work Spalding University • Office: 502-873-4482 • E-mail: pplatt@spalding.edu Today’s Woman Woman Today’s
www.iamtodayswoman.com / www.facebook.com/todayswomanmagazine / @todayswomannow
2012
FEBRuary
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Celebrating
Years/looking back
1991 — 2011
Looking Back 20 Years F
By Kim Kerby
or the last six years, Today’s Woman has focused on women’s health with a heart special supplement in the February issue.
• L isten to Your Heart in 2006. Your heart has been by your side through it all, every diet, skipped meal, glass of wine, and heartbreak. So don’t you think you should return the favor by listening to your heart when it has something to say? Pay attention to any warning signs and make an appointment with your doctor to go over everything.
Congratulations on 20 Years
•T he theme for 2007, And the Beat Goes On!, showed readers that 19 local women and music share something in common. Each and every one of them has a story to tell, just like how every song is a story of its own. They live their lives, never tune out their doctors, and know that sometimes adjusting the volume is necessary when trying to follow the rules. • Catch Her in Red, 2008’s theme, revealed that wearing red should feel empowering and remind women everywhere to take charge and take care of their heart. Heart Supplement 2009
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Heart Supplement 2010b single pages
• Heart disease is the silent killer of women all over the world. Go Red Before It’s Too Late, 2010’s theme, encouraged women to get to know their bodies before they too could become another victim of this disease.
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•A re you moving? That was what 2009’s theme encouraged women to do. Hearts in Motion asked women to do more to help their heart do its job. Just by doing the simplest of things, like taking a 30-minute walk or taking the stairs, can be beneficial to your heart and they could even lead to other healthy habits that your heart will appreciate down the road.
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Today’s Woman 3
S M A R T S T Y L E S
A Taste of Kentucky A Mother’s Touch Specializing in Mother’s, Grandmother’s, Children’s, Spirit and Themed jewelry. Established in 1999, A Mother’s Touch has the largest selection of charms, engravables, jewelry repair and personalized gifts for any occasion, including Posh Mommy, and featuring Trollbeads & Chamilia.
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Visit, browse, and let us assist you with all your knitting and crocheting needs. Our shop is conveniently located in the Stonefield Square Shopping Center next to the Fresh Market.
Open 7 days with a wide selection of yarn and accessories. Classes available.
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Eve*olution! Celebrating 20 Years
Thanks to everyone who attended our Eve*olution Fashion Show, on January 19, to celebrate 20 years of Today’s Woman! Here are a few highlights of the show which started with Eve, showed iconic women, then moved to iconic Today’s Woman moments before hitting Spring Fashion.
photos by Melissa Donald Christy Spence as Joan of Arc
Heather French Henry as Lucille Ball
Lynda Lambert
Jean West as Michelle Obama
Lena Pysareva as Princess Diana
Sheila Day
Alli Truttmann as Madonna Angela Bisig Jennifer Hohl
Lianna Nguyen Lauren Carr as Peacock
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2012
Biz Ruby
Eric Jefferson
Photos taken at Eve*olution are available on our website: www.iamtodayswoman.com
Today’s Woman
Her
Inspirations
Independent Lighting Consultant
Lori Thompson Finke
By Holly Gregor / photos by Melissa donald
ho gets inspiration from migraine headaches? Lori Thompson Finke. As a W sufferer of painful headaches, Lori suspected
the trigger to be bad lighting, like flickering fluorescent lighting found in schools and doctors’ offices. This experience was the first in many that made her aware of how light affects her. This in turn influenced her to study lighting. She attended Davidson College in Davidson, N. Carolina, where she studied theater. “There was no lighting design department so I ended up in theater.” Here Davidson learned that the lighting is an integral part of the show. “Without it, we would not know where to focus during the show. It sets the mood and creates the scenery.” Not really seeing a life for herself in theater, Lori moved to New York City to get a master’s degree in architectural lighting at Parsons School of Design. While at Parsons (she was there during the 9-11 terror attack on the U.S.), Lori noticed the ratio of American students to foreign was 8 to 30. “Architectural lighting is a new thing in the United States. It’s something that most people take for granted, however it can change everything. It is not recognized as a need. Europeans pay more attention to lighting than we do.” Now an independent lighting consultant, Lori works with architects and the private sector. Being an independent consultant sets her apart from other lighting experts. She does not work for a lighting company nor does she install lighting. Her job is to come up with the best lighting plan, showing no bias toward one manufacturer. Lori is the daughter of Jayne Thompson of Jayne Thompson Antiques. This means that Lori grew up with fine English and Continental antique furniture and accessories. Watching her mother, an interior designer, sell antiques, and arrange the furniture in the rooms for her clients was a daily event. Lighting was a part of that process, too. After getting her masters degree, Lori stayed in New York and worked for FMSP, a prestigious lighting company, exposing her to big installations. “We did amazing things. For instance, our firm worked on projects ranging from the Georgia Aquarium to the U.S. Embassy 28
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2012
in Seoul, to the Tower of Lights, a tribute to the fallen towers. The Tower of Lights showed the power of light as a symbol and was extremely graceful.” But the time came for Lori to redesign her life. She had been in New York for three years when she decided it was time to come home. Marriage, children, and her career were on her mind. So she chose to return to Danville, marry, have two children...so far, and start her independent lighting company while working for her mother. “I would have been in front of a computer screen 8 a.m. till 10 p.m. if I had stayed in New York,” says Lori. But, now she gets to create the lighting plans herself, using all the experience and exposure she gained in New York, and have time for her family. Some of the things she has learned along the way is her love for focusing on the lighting in a space. “I like a combination of recessed lighting Today’s Woman
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13 Things That Inspire Lori: 1. Migraines. As a migraine sufferer since high school, I found that one of my triggers was bad lighting such as a flickering fluorescent lamp. I became conscious of architectural lighting due to this and started to look around. 2. Broadway theatre. Lighting is such an integral part of the show, without it we would not know where to focus during the show. In theatre, light sets the mood and creates the scenery. As a child I remember being amazed by my first Broadway production of Starlight Express. What a show! 3. Tribute of Light. This tribute to the fallen twin towers was executed by the architectural lighting firm FMSP. It shows the power of light as a symbol and was extremely graceful. 4. Lightning bugs. As cliché as they are, fireflies add a decorative sparkle to the night sky and make summer evenings magical. When the Eiffel tower performs its evening light show, I can only imagine these creatures were an inspiration. 5. My parent’s home. My parents designed and built a perfect blend of a traditional and modern home in Danville, Ky. It is traditional brick from the front but transitions to modern on the interior with very tall ceilings with skylights and a wall of sliding glass doors at the rear. I did not realize until I moved out how much the natural light in this home had become part of my life. I crave the sunlight it provided and am always astonished by how my mood is influenced by the large windows. 6. My mother. Jayne Thompson and her career as an antique English furniture dealer and interior designer was one of the largest influences on my life. When I was a child, she used to bring home old wallpaper books for me to play with and begin my design career. I grew up around interesting pieces and visiting wonderful shops. Her ability to take a space from beginning to finish still amazes me. 7. Bad lighting. I have been in too many doctors offices or stores with mismatched color lighting and wondered to myself how someone could work there. People sometimes don’t realize that a simple lighting fix can transform and enhance even the most boring spaces. 8. Christmas. This is the one time of year that people actually intensely use lights to decorate and have fun doing it. Although it can sometimes border on being cheesy or tacky, the Christmas lights and decorations transform the cold winter landscape into a bright and cheerful place. I am always sad when we put the Christmas tree and lights away; the house always feels dim and lifeless. 9. David Rockwell. This architect’s buildings and interiors create spectacle and make his space amazing for the user. The water wall of divers at Rosa Mexicana in NYC is one of my favorite places in the world. 10. Matisse. From his paintings to his cutouts, his art, and attitude that art is meant to be enjoyed, he has always inspired me to create environments that are not too complex and that my users will enjoy. “What I dream of is an art of balance, of purity and serenity devoid of troubling or depressing subject matter — a soothing, calming influence on the mind, rather like a good armchair which provides relaxation from physical fatigue.” — Matisse 11. Louis Poulsen artichoke fixture. To me, this fixture is the perfect blend of design and light. www.louispoulsen.com/en-us/Product/Pendants/PH%20Artichoke.aspx 12. Travel. Although I was born, raised, and now reside back in Kentucky, I have been lucky enough to live and experience life in London, Paris, and NY. I have also spent a month camping in Wyoming ’s wilderness. Each of these places has given me a different outlook on the world and is special in its own way. 13. Candles and Fire. Nothing is simpler than a flame, yet it incorporates so many colors and dances for us. Lighting is still measured in foot candles. Fires are wild in nature, and a simple camp fire can be mesmerizing.
and lamp lighting.” She also doesn’t mind holes in the ceiling created with recessed lighting. “I’d rather have light than a clean ceiling.” A horrible distraction is having “glare bombs” or hot spots such as chandeliers turned up too high like she sees in many restaurants. Lori’s best advice in lighting design is, “The earlier I am involved, the better,” referring to a remodel or new construction. That way she saves her clients money down the road by designing the most efficient lighting plan. More laws are passing regarding lighting, like in California, where you can’t use incandescent lights in your kitchen, due to too much heat being dissipated for the light it puts out: Lori says not to worry. “They will come up with something more powerful.” Lori can be reached at lori@jaynethompsonantiques.com. www.iamtodayswoman.com / www.facebook.com/todayswomanmagazine / @todayswomannow
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LIGHT BITE SHEPHERD’S Pie
Story, Food Styling, and Photography By Melissa Donald
INGREDIENTS
1 pound lean ground beef 1 Tbsp olive oil 2 carrots — chopped 3 medium/large cloves garlic — chopped 1 medium red onion — chopped 1 tsp finely chopped chipotle pepper (or ½ tsp ground dried chipotle pepper) 1 8-oz container of sliced Baby Bella mushrooms 1½ C homemade tomato sauce or 1 15-oz can of tomato sauce ½ C of your favorite red wine (preferably dry) 1 Tbsp Wondra flour to thicken sauce (optional) salt and pepper to taste 1½ Tbsp Kilimanjaro Mild Jerk sauce (Kentucky Proud) 2 Tbsp Sweet Baby Ray’s BBQ sauce — or your favorite BBQ sauce 1½ tsp dried thyme ½ tsp celery seed 8 oz of frozen sweet corn — I used ½ a package of Trader Joe’s Roasted Sweet Corn Le f t over garlic mashed potatoes (about 3-4 cups) Sh redded Dubliner Cheese — or your favorite shredded cheese sprinkled on top of the potatoes — about 1 cup.
I
love this dish! It’s not only a great way to use leftover mashed potatoes, but it creates a hearty, down-home, comfort food during the winter months. Add a side salad or sautéed kale to make this warm, cozy dish a complete meal. This is simple and quick to prepare. Perfect for staying in on a cold winter’s night. Delicious!
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Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Pour the olive oil in a large pan and sauté on medium heat the carrots, onion, and garlic until carrots start to soften. Add the ground beef and sauté until almost cooked. Add the mushrooms and the chipotle pepper and sauté for another 5 minutes. Add the tomato sauce, wine, Jerk, and BBQ sauces, and cook for about 5 minutes on a high simmer. Wisk in the Wondra (optional) and continue to simmer for about another 5 minutes or until the sauce starts to thicken. Add the salt, pepper, thyme, and celery seed. Spread the meat mixture into the bottom of a baking pan (approximately 9x13) and layer with the corn, and then the mashed potatoes. If potatoes are stiff, then first place the potatoes in a separate bowl and stir in enough liquid (milk or cream) to soften and layer on top of the corn. Mashed potatoes may dry out when stored in the refrigerator. Top potatoes with the shredded cheese and bake covered for 20 minutes. Remove cover and bake for another 5-10 minutes. Kilimanjaro Mild Jerk sauce and chipotle peppers may be found at Lotsa Pasta and Value Market stores. Today’s Woman
www.iamtodayswoman.com / www.facebook.com/todayswomanmagazine / @todayswomannow
2012
February
31
Grieving: Reverend Amy Stephens McClain, chaplain for Norton Women’s Pavilion at Norton Suburban Hospital, said there is no right way and no timeline for grief. “Some people worry about where normal grief ends and whether or not they need mental health attention,” but she stresses that they aren’t mentally ill. “No one’s ever over it, ever. There’s a different kind of normal, because you’re never the same person. “Before my grandmother lost her second husband, she had been a very loving, fun person, but after he died, she was crabby and her holidays were horrible for three or four years, and then she was a normal person again. Looking back, we realized it wasn’t that she became a mean person; she was grieving.” But, she added, if a couple of months go by and the person is still only getting three or four hours of sleep, or not eating, eating too much, or staying in bed and they don’t pull out of that mode, then she should talk to her doctor.
Getting closure with rituals
R
everend Amy Stephens McClain, chaplain for Norton Women’s Pavilion at Norton Suburban Hospital, offers the following advice for dealing with someone who is grieving. • Don’t be afraid to mention the loved one’s name. The person grieving has not forgotten and not addressing it can be hurtful. It’s okay to break the ice in a gentle way, like mentioning the deceased person or acknowledging that you miss them too. • It is not helpful to say, “I know how you feel.” • Instead of saying, “Let me know if you need anything,” say, “I’m coming over to do XYZ,” or “I’m bringing food over.” Let the person say yes or no and don’t be offended if they say no. The specific offer is more genuine and appreciated than a vague offer. • Let the person off the hook. For example, if a mother has lost a child or an infant, don’t insist they attend a baby shower or other function. Offer the invitation, but allow the mother to skip it if she doesn’t feel up to it.
your grandmother and couldn’t attend the funeral, go to a place you might have gone with her. Or if you liked to bake together, you might want to bake something in honor of your grandmother and share it with loved ones. “Make a pot of tea on a beautiful day, share it and say a few words, like, ‘We’re doing this in honor of our grandmother.’ Or you might wear a piece of jewelry in remembrance.” When McClain suffered a loss, a friend suggested they get some flowers and go on a hike together. They let them go in a stream and watch them float down the stream while saying a prayer together.
o
Sometimes when a person dies, you may not be able to attend the funeral because of distance or time constraints. If you aren’t able to be with your family during the time of loss, you may have a problem with closure. McClain suggests that if you miss the funeral, find a way to create your own ritual to say goodbye. McClain said the ritual usually includes one or more people performing a symbolic gesture. For example if you lost
By Cheryl Stuck
PAGE 34
It’s never easy to deal with the death of a loved one. But grief is a normal and necessary reaction to loss, and the way each of us grieves is individual.
Take the Time You Need
Our Today’s Woman of Wellness panel shared their experiences with grief and how they coped. Tamella’s father died suddenly the day before her 32nd birthday. “The grief took its toll on my life in many ways. I was in residency at the time, so I was determined to go back to work, which I did a week after he passed away. Looking back it may have been too soon. I cried with every patient that I saw. “I started to exercise more. It helped me focus, stay strong and just think. We spent the first Christmas without my dad together, flying to Florida, and wound up having Margarita’s, chips and salsa in the Atlanta Airport.” Tamella Cassis, M.D.
Advisory group members are: Margie Beeler • Susan Boddy • Christie Bollinger, RN • Sherrice Bond • Kim Broecker • Jennifer Brown • Linda Burry • Kimberly Carpenter, DC • Tamella Buss Cassis, MD • Holly Clark • Stacy Cohen, RN • Diane Collins, RN • Pat Cooke • Funmilayo Dixon • Laurie Duesing • Kelly Davis Fleenor • Tanya Franklin, MD • Julie Garrison, MBA • Carol Graham, MD • Dawn Hayden • Pam Hayden, RN • Mary Haynes • Gretchen Houchin • Mary Jennings • Alexis Karageorge, MD • Dee Jay Kelly • Tomiko Coates Kiefer • Diane Kissel • Kristi Jedlicki Levenhagen • Melissa Little • Sean Maguire, MD • Geri Manning • Lisa Mattingly • David McArthur • Anne McReynolds • Tara Morris • Maria Munoz • Tina Nuttall, MBA, FACHE • Denise Orwick, RPh • Betsy Paulley • Mae Pike • Leesa Richardson, MD • Ticonna Roberts • Cheryl Scanlon • Rhonda Sigler • Burke Stephens • Rebecca Terry, MD • Myrdin Thompson • Deborah Tuggle • Lannette VanderToll • Jessica Walker • Marine Walls • Janie Biagi Watts • Cenia L. Wedekind • Anthony Westmoreland, RPh • Cathi Wiley • Kathy Wilkinson • Debbie Williams • Allison Young, LMT
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Today’s Woman
www.iamtodayswoman.com / www.facebook.com/todayswomanmagazine / @todayswomannow
2012
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When Dawn was 16, her mother died of cancer. “Losing my mother was a huge devastation to my life and my family. It forced me to take on life at a young age, and I joined the military at 17. My military experience has helped me throughout my career and the strength that I gathered through my loss has made me very successful.”
“My husband was very sick for several years. He had many serious surgeries and faced many more surgeries and complications. Had he lived, he would have endured much suffering. Knowing this made letting him go much easier. There are things worse than death, and I think sickness, suffering and infirmity are among the bad things.”
Dawn Hayden, business manager, Priority Radiology
Margie Beeler, retired
“I lost my father (Ben) suddenly, 13 days before the birth of my first child. I had extreme happiness and extreme sadness at the same time. I was overjoyed at being a first-time mom, but so upset not to share this special time with my father. My father was so excited I was having a son because we were going to name him Ben. He loved it, and always talked about all the things he and ‘Benny’ were going to do. It was so hard to accept the fact that that was never going to happen. I really don’t think I could have made it through the grief without having my son. It was almost like my dad left me, but gave me someone just as wonderful and perfect in return for his absence. “I am so lucky to have the best group of girlfriends. They brought me food, offered to babysit, and came by several times to just to visit me. My mom took me and my newborn to the cemetery a lot… Something about being there gave me comfort. Being around my mom helped me in so many ways. We could laugh, cry, and be angry together. I think that helped both of us feel better.”
“When I was 41 years old, my husband died suddenly while out of town on business. I had two teenage daughters at the time, so I unconsciously put the grief aside and actually did not fully deal with it until several years later.” Pat learned that, “Grief comes in waves and it’s best to deal with it when it comes rather than try to put it aside.”
Gretchen Houchin, Director of Dementia Care
Dee Jay Kelly, public educator
“I lost my grandmother three years ago. She was 85 years old, so it wasn’t necessarily unexpected, however, she had not been extremely sick. I was so close to her, and it was hard to believe she was actually gone. A family friend gave me an angel statue to keep and said my grandmother was now my angel. It helps to remember all that she taught me and to want to live to make her proud.”
“I lost a man I had been dating exclusively for over six years when he was killed during a motorcycle race. He was a seasoned, experienced and very competent rider; the accident was a fluke. “Some people felt he had somehow deserved his death because of the fact that he was participating in what seemed to them a sport with unnecessary risks. “The best thing that was said to me was by another woman, who had been widowed young. She said, ‘You will never get over it. Do not expect to get over it. But you will learn to cope.’ When I didn’t feel as if I had to stop grieving and miraculously ‘buck up,’ I started to recover…to cope.”
Melissa Little, co-owner, Little Eatz LLC
Janie has lost both her father after a sudden, massive heart attack and a year later, her sister died a week after having a stroke. “It really left me in a state of shock and sadness, then a period of anger. After those phases it became my mission to remember and talk about all of the life lessons I learned from my father and sister.” What helped? “The cards I received with personal messages of events they remembered when being with my loved ones. Janie Watts, librarian
Pat Cooke, bookkeeper/artist
Dee Jay’s father died of a heart attack, and she was notified by phone because she was 700 miles away. “You are dealing with a loss, yet you can’t be there or feel you can get there fast enough to be with your family. I didn’t have time to cry. My emotions were all bottled up inside of me… “I had many talks and cries with my husband for a long time. I felt like even though we had a funeral, I still didn’t have any closure for myself.” After 21 years, she realizes that “I really didn’t grieve for the loss of my dad.”
Laurie Duesing, Latin instructor, part time at U of L and Louisville Classical Academy
Holly’s dad died in 2010. “The best things I have done for myself — turn to my faith and develop a closer relationship with God. Remembering our lives together with Dad and the many blessings he gave us. Holly Clark, EAP & Work-Life director at Humana
“My husband and I had only been married six months when his mother was killed in a car accident. His mother had pre-arranged everything. This was such a relief to us and made the process not so overwhelming. Kim Broecker, public school teacher
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Today’s Woman
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Ready to Change
Your Life?
Written & Photographed by Melissa Donald
Weight Loss Challenge 2012
We have an intriguing group of eager, excited, and (understandably) nervous women. It was difficult to narrow the candidates down to ten and then to our final four. We are sure there is at least one person in this group that you will be able to relate to. Meet our new weight loss challengers! • A widow of nearly 15 years who is engaged to be married and has already lost 70 pounds on her own. • A nurse and now stay-at-home mother of four who has already started incorporating organic foods into her family’s culinary repertoire. • A 10 th grade history teacher who lived 10 years in San Diego, Calif. — seven of which were spent coaching a competitive and national winning cheerleading team. •A former cheerleader who is a recent graduate from the University of Louisville. She and her family already belong to a local CSA (Community Supported Agriculture). Over the next three months follow us, be inspired, and see how these women are progressing and changing their lives for the better. (Read more about them on page 36)
OUR EXPERT TEAM Southwest YMCA Louisville, KY
Susan Jamison
Anytime Fitness Floyds Knobs, IN
We are very excited to be working again with Personal fitness trainer Kevin is the fitness Home Cuisine for this year’s weight loss challenge. Home Cuisine transitioned from being director of the director of Marketing Southwest Y, and has will be providing all three meals the first half of the program and for a physicians group. 15 years of experience Susan’s transition into as a group fitness dinners only the remaining half of the weight loss challenge. A 1,200 the field of health and instructor, and 5 years fitness was due to a as a certified personal calorie diet will incorporate local fruits and vegetables, lean meats, pre-diabetic diagnosis trainer. from her doctor. low-calorie desserts, and various breakfast items. Home Cuisine has partnered with Rainbow Blossom markets where clients can conveniently pick up their meals. This year Today’s Woman is starting something new with Home Cuisine, exclusively for our weight loss challengers. Due to the huge interest of our participants in learning how to prepare healthy foods and how to cook delicious low-calorie and low-fat dishes, Mae will be leading at least three mini culinary sessions. Our first session is an Intro To Food, an explanation of what to eat, what to avoid, and tips on snacking.
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Ashley Riggs
Louisville Athletic Center/Westport Rd. Louisville, KY Ashley started her career as a trainer by teaching group fitness classes. She is now a certified personal trainer where she teaches 30-minute training sessions at LAC.
Regina DeCaro
Lois A. Kratz Health and Wellness Center at Clark Memorial Hospital Jeffersonville, IN Regina is the manager of Wellness Services at Clark Memorial, and is an Advanced Health and Fitness Specialist. She was a Respiratory Therapist then shifted her career focus on teaching prevention and wellness.
o
Kevin Shellman
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Food by Home Cuisine — Mae Pike www.homecuisineonline.com • 502.288.6363 Wallace Avenue in Louisville, KY
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PAGE 36
Lindsay Rost — Client Invoice Management Intern Age: 23 • Weight: 183 lbs • Height: 5’3” • Goal: 60 lbs Trainer: Ashley Riggs with Louisville Athletic Club, Westport Rd.
• www.louisvilleathleticclub.com/westport/ “Growing up, I was never the thinnest girl. All through high school, the lowest weight I reached was 135 pounds, and for a girl of 5’3” that is considered overweight. The college years, like for many, is when Lindsay gained most of her weight. Living in a household with other family members who work long, stressful hours, (and with Lindsay herself working and going to school full time) fast food was a staple, including fried foods and pizza. Many of us can relate to this type of environment. When there’s unhealthy food around constantly tempting us, it’s hard to pass up something this fast and delicious. Last year close to her commencement, Lindsay joined the Louisville Athletic Club, conveniently located near her home and work. Her family is very supportive of her new healthy lifestyle. Lindsay says she is committed to eating healthy and exercising at least 4 days a week. “Forget fried foods and sodas, this is a new chapter in my life, and I want to be a college graduate who is proud of her accomplishments.”
Tina Blankenship — 10th Grade History Teacher Age: 36 • Weight: 185 • Height: 5’2” • Goal: 50 lbs Trainer: Kevin Shellman with YMCA Southwest in Louisville, KY
• www.ymcalouisville.org/southwest/ After living 10 years in San Diego, Calif., this Louisville native decided it was time to move back home to be closer to family and friends. She spent seven of those 10 years in California coaching a national winning cheerleading team, which was very rewarding for her. The time and energy spent on coaching took away from Tina achieving her personal goals, which included better health, more personal time, working out, and spending more time with family and friends. This is the first year in seven years that she has taken a break from coaching. Now she can take the time to focus on herself, continue exercising, and learn how to prepare healthy meals and make better food choices. Prior to being selected as one of our participants, Tina joined her local YMCA. She has no problem incorporating and committing to a workout regimen. Tina has already started training to run the mini-marathon this coming spring. She is on the path to achieving her permanent healthy lifestyle.
Melissa Cora — Stay-at-home Mother of Four; Nurse Age: 42 • Weight: 159 lbs • Height: 5’3” • Goal: 30 lbs Trainer: Susan Jamison — Anytime Fitness in Floyds Knobs, IN • www.anytimefitness. com/en-us/clubs/621/Floyds-Knobs-IN-health-club Ladies…does this sound familiar? “Help! I am ready to change my life! I am a 42-year-old mother of four. I feel like I have put my kids and husband first for many years!” It’s a common scenario. Women often put family first and then wake up one day thinking ‘What has happened here?’ I totally forgot about me…it’s time to focus on me.‘ And that is what Melissa has started doing. Two years ago she gave up all artificial sweeteners, avoids high fructose corn syrup, food dyes, MSG, and caffeine. She has also incorporated more organic fruits and vegetables into her diet and is eating less meat. “I’m tired of making excuses about my weight and lack of exercise.” Although she enjoys playing various Wii games with her family, she says, it’s not consistent exercise. Melissa is ready to commit to an exercise program and would like to find a ‘physical activity that she actually enjoys.’ She is already committed to healthy eating habits, and teaching her children healthier food choices.
Marcia Hampton — Hospital Scheduler Age: 59 • Weight: 179 lbs • Height: 5’4” • Goal: 30+ lbs Trainer: Regina DeCaro with Clark Memorial Fitness in Jeffersonville, Ind.
• www.clarkmemorial.org/lois-a-kratz-health-and-wellness-center/ A widow of nearly 15 years, Marcia is engaged to be married next year and would like to lose at least 30 pounds before her wedding. “I have lost about 70 pounds in the past year-and-a-half by watching what I eat and walking.” Prior to losing weight, she and her fiancé ate out every day, which surely can take a toll on your physique and diet. Once they stopped eating out every day and started watching their fat intake and cooking more at home, Marcia started losing weight. The cardiology office she works in has started its own ‘Biggest Loser Couple’s Contest,’ which has also motivated her. But now she has plateaued with her weight loss. As we get older, our metabolism slows down. Marcia has never belonged to a gym before, but is ‘willing to work out and give up whatever it takes!’ Marcia said, though, if she wasn’t chosen this year for the challenge that she was considering pushing back her wedding another year. Her goal is very realistic, and she will be able to fit in that wedding dress by next year.
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&
LoveLost Found
T
he year was 1967. Lynn sat next to Bobby in history class at the University of Kentucky and soon realized how much they had in common. Both loved to dance and shoot pool and aspired to be teachers. Lynn smiles at those early memories and recalls, “I probably shot as much pool as I went to class.” Mary Lynn Steinbock was a city girl from Louisville and Bobby Timbrook was from a farm outside of Owensboro. The differences they shared only brought them closer, and before long, their friendship turned into love. They had looked at rings together, and on the night of the lottery for the draft they became engaged. “It was a difficult time,” Lynn explains. Bobby and his three roommates all drew low draft numbers, which meant they were likely to end up in a very unpopular war. In spite of an uncertain future, Lynn wanted to get married. Bobby worried about the likelihood of being sent to Vietnam and the possibility of not returning. The future seemed even more fragile when he could not find a teaching position. He did not think this was fair to Lynn. He wanted to wait. Lynn was impatient, and when Bobby would not marry, she broke off the engagement and returned the ring. Both moved on to other lives. Lynn and Bobby would not find out for 40-plus years just how parallel their lives had been. Lives that included failed marriages and children for each, followed by lasting marriages that ended with both losing their spouses to cancer. In 2005, Lynn’s life was derailed when hit head-on by illness. Her husband Harold Bunger was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. Lynn saw Harold through eight months of an extremely painful illness before losing him. Still reeling from the loss of Harold, Lynn found herself faced with a cancer diagnosis of her own just two years later. It is still hard to talk about today, after four years of living with a cancer of the blood called Myelo Fibrosis. Lynn still recalls the shock she felt when her doctor gave her the news. “I could not believe it. It was so hard to walk into the waiting room after spending all that time with Harold and all the awful memories of his illness.” Once Lynn had her illness under control, she resumed her high-energy lifestyle. She decided to build a new house in 2009. “I felt I needed a change because Harold had worked at home, and I was used to him being there all the time. It was hard to walk into that empty house.” Her brother Greg and his wife Beth graciously allowed Lynn to build a house on the lake of their property that covers 50 acres in Prospect. Lynn wanted more room for her five grandchildren and numerous great-grandchildren. The property provides a scenic wonderland with the lake and lots of horses in the pastures. After her husband’s death, Lynn lived her life surrounded by her
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by Connie Meyer photo by Melissa Donald
large family and circle of close friends. She traveled extensively, continued to play tennis, made custom window treatments, played bridge, and was very active in her church and community. In spite of keeping herself very busy, Lynn could not deny that she was lonely. It did not matter how many close friends and family surrounded her, she still longed for the kind of connection and companionship that only comes from love. As so often happens in life, love found Lynn when she least expected it. In July of 2011 Lynn was looking through her mail when she discovered an envelope with an unsettling return address. Lynn remembers her reaction upon seeing the name “Bobby Timbrook” in the top left hand corner. “I had chills. My hands were shaking and my heart was thumping when I opened that letter.” The words written in the small three page letter did nothing to slow her heart rate. Bobby wrote about thinking of her through the years and left her with the words “I hope you’ve had a really good, happy life. I would love to hear your voice.” Lynn read the letter three times, and did not hesitate about calling. She smiles now at the memory. “The conversation was so easy — a lot of ‘remember whens’ from those first years together.” Lynn and Bobby wasted no time in arranging to meet at Lynn’s house. Lynn worried about the toll the years had taken. “I was forty pounds heavier and really nervous, waiting for him.” Lynn’s nerves settled quickly once Bobby arrived, and in greeting her, he asked, “May I kiss you?” Lynn is glowing as she describes the moment. “It was like I had never left his arms in 41 years. The fireworks were immediate. We looked at each other and felt like the years had melted away.” As a gourmet cook, Lynn laughs when she talks about the meal she prepared. “I can feed the masses, but I could barely put a salad together that evening. I was all aflutter.” From that moment on, Lynn and Bobby have spent as much time together as possible. It was difficult at first because Lynn had already planned a trip out West with friends, and another trip to France. Upon her return, she and Bobby resumed their reunion. It continues today. They have met each others’ families, and settled into a comfortable relationship. Bobby lives on seven acres near Lexington, so he and Lynn have no problem getting together at least a couple of days a week plus as many weekends as possible. “We have a lifetime to catch up on,” says Lynn. “Life is too short. We want to make the most of what we have now. It’s wonderful to feel loved, and to be able to call someone when you’re troubled and share good news when you find it. Don’t ever give up on love.” Lynn and Bobby went to a family wedding together recently where Bobby requested a song they had loved in their youth. As they danced together to Otis Redding’s Can’t Turn You Loose, the words seemed prophetic. Since finding each other again, Lynn and Bobby cannot hold on tight enough.
Connie Meyer writes regularly for Today’s Transitions and Today’s Woman. You can reach Connie at ConnieL605@aol.com. Today’s Woman
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Don’t Get Taken for a Ride Sharpen your car-buying skills By Tiffany White/photo: Melissa Donald
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Unfortunately, I didn’t know where to start. Since I had paid cash for the Escort, I didn’t need to worry about monthly payments or high interest rates, and I let my family members handle all the other details for me. But that was 12 years ago. Now, the circumstances had changed, and I realized most of the people in my family — with the exception of my dad who lives in Charlotte N. Carolina — had no clue how to help me find the right type of car for the best price. And the thought of buying one was intimidating. Purchasing a car is a big financial responsibility that requires carefulness on all levels, and I knew I’d need a car-buying mentor by my side. I asked Steve, a friend of mine, for his assistance.
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Last year, I got into my 1999 Ford Escort ZX2, and headed for the mall. All seemed well, but as I drove off the exit ramp onto Shelbyville Road, the car began to slow down and then stopped. I knew the day would come when my car would die, but I had hoped it would live just a little longer — at least until I could save enough money for a decent down payment. I had been saving money for several months, with the intent of purchasing another car, but when the mechanic told me the car’s transmission was the culprit, I knew I’d need to search for a new car earlier than anticipated.
Author Tiffany White loves her new car.
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Don’t Get Taken for a Ride
I did some preliminary searching and found a beautiful 2008 cherry red Volkswagen Jetta Sedan at CarMax. The car had 48,000 miles, a partial power train warranty, and a three-month trial of Sirius XM Satellite radio. I fell in love with it instantly. For the next two weeks, I researched a few cars online and read additional information about the 08 Jetta Sedan in the Consumer Reports magazine. Overall, the reviews on the car were good, and I was 99 percent certain I would buy it, but my friend suggested I explore other options first. He asked me to print out information about the price, features, and warranty of other cars I liked for a fresher perspective, and then we prepared for our trip to the car lot.
Have a Plan When we arrived at the first dealership, I told the car salesman I was interested in test driving the 2011 Chevrolet Cruze. Without hesitation he retrieved the car keys and asked me how much money I’d want to put down on the car. I wasn’t fully sure I wanted to buy the car and had planned to test drive the Jetta so we quickly told him I was only browsing and would be looking at other cars. After further discussion about the car’s gas mileage, warranty, and features, Steve asked the salesman to calculate the total price of the car if I traded in the Escort. He gave me a copy of the final price which listed the MSRP (sticker price), a discount, and the value of the trade. Although I liked the price, I wasn’t quite ready to make a purchase yet. Taking your time when shopping for a car often determines the type of deal you will get according to Richard Thomas, owner of Exhaust Pro. Thomas, who has had 20 years of experience selling cars, says customers who express too much interest in buying a car often pay more. “You need to act like you can take it or leave it. Say ‘I am looking at another car across the way that is cheaper or has a few more features for the same price to make them feel like they have to put a little more effort into selling the car to you.” He adds, “If you let them know you really want the car, it gives them more confidence to keep the price up and not really work with you to get you any type of deal to earn your business,” he says. But David Moody, owner of David’s Cars believes finding a quality car should be the priority. “I want to buy the nicest car that I can for the money and if I have to pay extra for it, then I do,” he says. Not shopping within their budget, says Moody, is one of the biggest mistakes some customers make. Giving his customers a good price on a car is important to Moody, but he says customers should be realistic about how much they can spend and understand that car salesmen must make a profit too. “That is the toughest part of it because everybody wants more, and so do the dealers, but dealers are in the business to make money, and they are going to.” He adds, “I will do everything I can to sell you that vehicle, because I figure that once you leave without it, you will probably not come back. But if we still can’t come to an agreement about the price, and you leave my lot without a car, that means you walked away from a good deal.” Doug Rogers, vehicle manager at Bob Hook Chevrolet agrees: “I want the buyer to be educated, but my guys have the right to work for a fair wage.” Like Moody, he believes customers should be willing to pay for quality. Different factors such as the dealership’s consumer choice rating with the Better Business Bureau, customer service, and the features of the car can influence a car’s price says Rogers. “You might have five cars that all look the
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HOW TO GET A GOOD DEAL ON A CAR
• Use reputable resources like Kelley Blue Book and NADA.com (National Automobile Dealers Association) to do price comparisons. Kelley Blue Book lists the market value of used and new cars which helps you determine whether the price the dealership is charging is fair. However, David Moody, owner of David’s Cars, says the actual retail price of the car could be as much as 10 percent higher depending on its condition and supply and demand. • When buying a used car, Moody says you should consider the condition of the car. “When you buy a used car, you never really know what you are getting. Look at the corners of the bumpers. The biggest thing I look at is the interior. If the interior is nice, that tells me someone took care of the vehicle.” • Buy cars at the end of the month for the best deals. Doug Rogers, vehicle manager at Bob Hook Chevrolet, says salesmen are trying to meet their quotas and reduce inventory to prevent the dealership from paying higher interest on cars. • Know how much you are paying for your car if you finance through the dealership. Some less reputable dealerships, notes Richard Thomas, owner of Exhaust Pro, will ask the bank for more money than needed, which will increase your monthly payment. • Bonnie Boyle, business manager for Sam Swope Cadillac, says “do your research before you come to the dealership.” The customer, she says, can let their excitement about buying a car lead them into purchasing a car they don’t want. same, but vary in price by about $3,000, because of the features they have.” Rogers admits that some of the less reputable dealerships use gimmicks, but he says that if a customer tells him they have found the same car for a cheaper price, his staff will negotiate within reason.
Ask for What You Want People like Anne Diemer are ready to see how low they can get the salesman to go. In the past 31 years, she has purchased approximately 25 cars, and recently bought a 2011 Honda Odyssey. “Buying cars doesn’t scare me. I enjoy doing it,” she says. Before Anne purchases a car, she goes to two dealerships to find out which one will give her the lowest price on the car. “I will usually have a trade-in, and I will see how much that is worth. I pay attention to the difference. A lot of people get insulted when the dealership won’t give them what they think the car is worth, but the difference is important because some dealerships will give you more for your trade but they will not discount the price of the new car much.” When she purchased her latest car, Anne says she persuaded the salesman to take $1,500 off of the final price after the trade-in. “If I can’t get them to come down, I will ask them if they can throw something extra in, like all-weather floor mats. A lot of times they will say no, but then some will.” Unlike Anne, I didn’t know my way around the negotiating table, but when I decided to buy the Chevrolet Cruze, Steve guided me through the process by phone. Before I agreed to sign any papers, he suggested I verify that the price they originally quoted me on the trade would be the same — anything less would be unacceptable. After the price adjustment, Steve talked my salesman into knocking an extra $100 off the total price of the car. I couldn’t have been happier. I walked away with a new car at an excellent price.
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6
2 #
THINGS
Not To Miss THIS Month
Douglas & Alexandre Lora with Dudu Maia Clifton Center
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By Gioia Patton and KIM KERBY
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Extraordinary Brazilian guitarist and composer Douglas Lora is one-half of the celebrated Brasil Guitar Duo and a member of the choro and samba band Caraivana, which moves easily between the classical, pop and world music. Choro is the Brazilian musical style which represents the coming together of European melodic and harmonic traditions with African rhythms and sensibilities. Emerging in Brazil in the middle of the 19th century, Choro is a cousin of jazz, with a sense of yearning that is often described as a “sweet lament.” For this special Louisville performance, Lora will perform on a seven-string guitar with two of his Caraivana bandmates — his brother, Alexandre Lora (percussion), and Dudu Maia (10-string mandolin.)
The Gin Game Bunbury Theatre
The Gin Game by D. L. Coburn premiered on Broadway in 1977, starring real-life married actors, Hume Cronyn and Jessica Tandy. An immediate hit, the play garnered four Tony Award nominations and the following year was awarded The Pulitzer Prize for Best Drama. The last time Bunbury Theatre produced this play was in 1991 at its then 7th Street location. Juergen K. Tossmann, Bunbury’s director and artistic director, remarked: “The Gin Game is a play that has spoken to me for over 30 years, and is as relevant today as it was when it was written. As a member of the baby boom generation, I can truly relate to the issues presented in Coburn’s play and I’m sure our audiences will as well.” ….extremely intelligent…fine bittersweet comedy…Funny, sad, profane, eloquent, touching, beautiful. — WABC-TV. When February 10-26 matinee and evening performances Where The Henry Clay, 604 South Third St. tickets General Admission: $21, seniors age 65 & over: $18 Contact www.bunburytheatre.org or call 502.585.5306
— Gioia Patton
Reflections: Murder in a Hall of Mirrors
When February 16 @ 7:30pm Where Clifton Center’s Eifler Theatre, 2117 Payne St. tickets $13 & $15 Contact www.cliftoncenter.org or purchase in person at Carmichael’s Bookstore, 2720 Frankfort Ave. For further information call 502.896.6950.
The Dark Side of the Wall
3 #
The Louisville-based band The Dark Side of the Wall delivers an uncanny tribute to the studio and live sound of Pink Floyd (circa 1967-83) using vintage equipment to transport the audience back in time. Along with the detailed and accurate sound, the band incorporates intelligent lighting and video production to create an immersing three-hour multimedia experience. February 19 @8pm Where The Brown Theatre tickets $25 and $30 Kentucky Center box office in person, call 502.584.7777 or visit www.kentuckycenter.org. Visit access@kentuckycenter.org for information about the range of accessibility services offered. — Gioia Patton
When
Contact
Make Some Jewelry
Learn about the tools and techniques to create bracelets, necklaces, and pendants from tactile materials. February 18, 10:30am-12:30pm Where American Printing House for the Blind, 1839 Frankfort Avenue tickets Free (space is limited) Contact 502.899.2213 by February 16 to register and log on to www.aph.org for more information. When
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WhoDunnit, Inc. of KY.
— Gioia Patton
Love Among the Trees Treat your sweetheart to a candlelit dinner catered by Jarfi’s at the Bernheim Forest Visitor Center. The dinner includes appetizers, a cash bar, music and dancing. An overnight stay at the Bernheim Lodge will be auctioned off. February 11-12 7-10pm Bernheim Forest’s Visitor Center in Clermont, KY tickets Bernheim members: $120 per couple & non-members: $150 per couple. Contact 502.955.8512 for more information or to make your reservation. When
Where
Meet Otto Bales, the most evil villain ever to set foot on a Whodunnit stage! But did he commit this shocking murder, or is he being set up? You are on the jury that decides. Reflections introduces new crime solver Morgan Farewell — and there’s a link to the Dr. Angus MacCrimmon saga!
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Saturday evenings, February 11 thru March 31, plus a special Valentine’s Day show Where The Hyatt Regency Louisville, 320 West Jefferson Street tickets $43.95, which includes dinner, show, tax and gratuity. Discounts apply for groups of 6 or more. Advance reservations required. A walk-on role as the court bailiff is available on specific nights — call for more info. Contact 502.426.7100 or visit www.whodunnitky.com — Gioia Patton When
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Who’s the Cutest of Them All? Starting February 9, Today’s Family wants to know which baby you think should be on the June/July cover of the magazine. Go to www.todaysfamilymag.com for more details. Voting ends on March 15. The contest is sponsored by Derby City Pediatric Dentistry.
Win Tickets to a Fashion Show You could win tickets to the Baptist Hospital Foundation’s Pearls & Pumps fashion show happening on February 11 at the Olmsted. The New York style fashion show and brunch will focus on raising awareness about minimally invasive surgery being an option for women. Enter starting February 3. Go to www.facebook.com/todayswomanmagazine for details.
If you would like to include your event in our upcoming issue, send it to Calendar@iamtodayswoman.com. Please include a hi-res jpeg image (photo should be 300 dpi at 4x6 size). We must receive your information at least 6 weeks in advance. No phone calls, please.
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Is It Really Love? It’s February…and our hearts turn to love. But, is it really love?
Just Ask Joyce By Joyce Oglesby
M
ore than 2 million couples will marry this year, and more than half of those will divorce. Were they really in love or in-fatuation? Truth be told, many of the ones who stay married will remain so, but their romantic status will diminish within 6 months to 6 years. For the most part, people seeking a lasting relationship look for the physical — the red hot romance — to be the deciding factor in their choice of a lifetime mate. Chemistry is an important factor, but other ingredients must be weighed in at great, if not greater, measures for a relationship to last. In working with couples, both married and contemplating the thought of, I have discovered some good rules of thumb to live by to avoid being hurt or hurting another in this game we call “love.” Get to know the person well with whom you are interested in developing a relationship. There’s much more to an individual than school/college, career, birthplace, hobbies, and food preferences. You gain knowledge by interacting at socials, with friends and family, and at church. Discuss critical issues about faith, political leanings, and family histories. Take note of curt, sharp, critical remarks. Keep score of temper flare-ups and especially the ease with which they occur. If these character traits are frequent and/or abrupt…RUN! His/her primary focus should be on you. It isn’t that no conversation should ever be about him/her, but if you find your dialogue seems to lean heavily toward one individual, narcissism will likely become an issue in the relationship. When each of you is interested in the other, the scales balance out quite nicely. Motivation should equal ambition. Talking a big game is typically the only red flag you need. Success will surface in resolved individuals. Typically, if they’re bragging, they’re lagging. While some boasters are indeed successful, quite often their egos are larger than their intentions for love. Willingness to work through problems is critical as to whether you continue to remain in a relationship. Ask yourself tough questions: Must he/she always be right or get his/her way? Does he/she stonewall instead of finding an amenable solution? Does the same issue rear its ugly head repeatedly? How willing is he/she to compromise in order to resolve a problem? Don’t make the mistake of stretching the truth or getting caught in the denial cycle. It catches up, if not sooner, then later. Consider consideration. My husband and I have a principle in our marriage that works: You are more important than I am. When each of you looks after the other’s best interests, no one goes lacking. Kindness, courtesy, and consideration flow freely on a daily basis, and all needs are fostered routinely. Protection, provision, and security are musts for women. Check frequency of and reasons behind job changes, how well he manages his finances, and what his plans are for the future. Any disconnect or ambivalence detected is definitely a sign of a turbulent relationship. Whether love or infatuation, it has all the makings of failure and/or misery. Respect, gratification, and praise are musts for men. Respect equals love in a man’s eyes. Being thankful for how he provides says you value his worth. Knowing the one he loves is proud of his efforts, how he looks, and the way he loves is priceless in developing layers of love, and it keeps him infatuated over only you. If these qualities are scarce, he soon will be, too. Reunions are sweet. If you have cause to be distanced by time and/or miles, all reunions should be anticipated. If you find it’s a great relief to have that space and you wish the break could be longer, infatuation might be wearing thin, and love is truly not in place. (Not to be confused with how nice it is to have no demands on you at times. Everyone enjoys that occasionally!) Protecting one’s heart from insult and injury is not rocket science. Mistakes might still occur, but simply taking the time to develop a relationship piqued by infatuation can line up a heart to discover true love.
ONLINE
Q:
My husband is secretly having an emotional affair (a relationship that excludes physical intimacy but involves emotional closeness — sharing confidences, inner-self feelings, etc. — with someone other than your spouse). I’m uncertain how to approach it, as things seem perfectly normal at home. I might have never known had he not been late for work one morning and he left his phone at home in his mad rush out the door. The woman involved is a neighbor who is married and also has children. How do I begin to unfold the circumstances surrounding this without disrupting our relationship and hurting others in the process? (Go to www.iamtodayswoman.com to read Joyce’s answer to this question.)
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Fix Your Flaws By Tiffany White • Photos: Melissa Donald • makeup by holly oyler
Do you wish you could add a few more inches to your short legs? Well, you can’t fight genetics, but there is a way to make your legs look longer. THE PROBLEM Christy Travis, who is 5-foot-2, had been wearing the wrong type of jeans for her height. Jennifer Foster, store manager at Talbots, says flared leg and boot cut jeans are usually considered to be the best choice for short women but neither of these styles worked for Christy. “The boot cut and flared jeans were overwhelming to her shape. You didn’t see her. You just saw the jeans hanging on her. It really shocked me, because it went against everything I knew,” said Jennifer.
THE FIX The skinny jeans, paired with heels, elongated Christy’s legs and showed her true shape. For petite women like Christy, Jennifer suggests buying jeans that are more fitted and have a tailored look. “Don’t be afraid to show your shape.” “These jeans looked a little loose and the wider leg made her legs look bigger.” Sweater, $129; skinny jeans, $100; shoes, $159; necklace, $59. All items available at Talbots, 194 N. Hurstbourne Parkway 502.423.9445.
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FEBRuary
2012
Today’s Woman