A WOMAN'S
Best Friend AND OTHER WAYS ANIMALS HELP US
LISTEN TO YOUR HEART Special Insert Inside
FEBRUARY 2020
Today’s Woman / February 2020
1
contents FEBRUARY 2020
spotlights
14
ENCOURAGE
4 Manifesto 33 Stop the busy:
live an intentional life
INFORM
6 Today’s Woman In The Now
24 Love & Finances:
How things get divided
26 Just Ask Joyce:
My husband’s list of “things I should change”
32 Heart Health Supplement, inserted after page 32
34 28 Things
Happenings, news, and tidbits that caught Today’s Woman’s eye this month
2
HEART HEALTH
February 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
32 INSPIRE
28 “Love unconditionally and don’t be afraid to show it.” 30 An angel among the animals 32 My Valentine’s Tradition: The card of confidence
LIFESTYLE
52 What I am Wearing 54 Cook Up Some Sunshine 64 Celebrations: Chelsea and Kurron Carmichael
features
34
8 Dogs That Work
We met dogs that help solve crimes, help with everyday activities and help calm anxiety.
16 Rescue Me!
When an act of kindness is so rewarding
Owners and rescue dogs pose together in denim and connect with the organizations that help. 40 Blessing in a
Graying Fur Coat
Older dogs and cats bring joy and depth of feeling to their owners. 46 With Love,
Your Furry Friend
For Furry February, some lovable pets sent in some special Valentine’s cards to their owners.
Today’s Woman / February 2020
3
H E A R T
February 2020 Today’s Woman Manifesto
FEB. 2020 | VOL. 30 | NO. 3
PUBLISHER Cathy S. Zion publisher@todaysmedianow.com
Having great connected moments
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Anita Oldham editor@todaysmedianow.com
Energetic, enthusiastic
CONTRIBUTING EDITOR Lucy M. Pritchett
to others around us.
approach to everyone, everything, and everyday.
Arrange for growth,
for learning, and for a chance to help.
Realizing life is short
and we want to love a bit of every day of our life.
Try new things,
using courage to overcome any fear or timidity.
EXECUTIVE EDITOR Tiffany White tiffany@todaysmedianow.com
EDITORIAL DIRECTOR April Allman april@todaysmedianow.com DESIGN DIRECTOR Jill Cobb jill@todaysmedianow.com PHOTO DIRECTOR/PHOTOGRAPHER Melissa Donald melissa@todaysmedianow.com GRAPHIC DESIGNER Jillian Jones jillian@todaysmedianow.com CAMPAIGN MANAGER Jessica Alyea jessica@todaysmedianow.com OFFICE ADMINISTRATOR Scheri Stewart Mullins scheri@todaysmedianow.com BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT DIRECTOR Rachel Reeves rachel@todaysmedianow.com SENIOR MEDIA CONSULTANTS Susan Allen susan@todaysmedianow.com Teri Hickerson teri@todaysmedianow.com
In keeping with our overriding theme of pets, we channeled the unconditional love and enthusiasm of the animals we met during the creation of this magazine and the pets we live with in our homes. Mix in some of those who overcame heart health issues and help us to appreciate our everyday life, and that's how we reached this month's manifesto. Join us in listening to your heart this month. — Anita Oldham
PS: See you on Galentine's Day (February 13 — see our ad on the inside front cover)
ON THE COVER: Maji Koetter-Ali and her dog Bobby found each other at the right time. Read more about their unbreakable bond on page 20. Photo by Melissa Donald Makeup by Stephani Jones, Z Salon and Spa
MEDIA CONSULTANTS Bailey Crush bailey@todaysmedianow.com Jennifer Phillips jennifer@todaysmedianow.com CIRCULATION MANAGER W. Earl Zion INTERN Emily Elliotte Today’s Woman is published monthly by: Zion Publications, LLC 9780 Ormsby Station Road, Suite 1400 Louisville, KY 40223 Phone: 502.327.8855 TodaysWomanNow.com TodaysMediaNow.com The opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the position of the publisher. Today’s Woman magazine does not endorse or guarantee any advertiser’s product or service. Copyright 2020 by Zion Publications LLC, all rights reserved. Reproduction or use of editorial or graphic content in any manner is prohibited without permission from Zion Publications LLC.
ADVERTISE: Call 502.327.8855 or email advertising@todaysmedianow.com.
REPRINTS: Call 502.327.8855 or email reprints@todaysmedianow.com.
SUBSCRIBE: Send $18 to the above address for 12 monthly issues.
4
February 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
Today’s Woman / February 2020
5
I N T H E N OW inform
|
inspire
|
encourage
UPCOMING EVENTS F E BR UARY 13 | 5:30-8P M C E LE B RATI NG 28 YE ARS O F TOD AY’S WOMAN & O U R RI G HTS Join us on Galentine’s Day as we celebrate our 28th Birthday and the anniversary of the Women’s Rights Movement. Network with the community, listen to motivational speakers, and win some amazing giveaways and door prizes. todayswomannow.com/28birthday F E BR UARY 21 | 6-9P M C E NTE R FO R W O M E N AND FAM I LIES C E LE B RATI O N O F S E RVI CE AND SURVIVAL The annual event will pay tribute to five Women of Distinction who have spent their time and talents advocating for women and girls in Kentuckiana. thecenteronline.org | 502.581.7260
#TodaysWomanLove @TRAINERTANNER looking dashing in her red hat for heart month #Repost
F E BR UARY 8 | 6:15P M F RI E NDS O F M E TRO ANI M AL S E RVICES TRI VI A NI G HT Reserve your table of 8 at Lexus of Louisville for a trivia night benefiting Friends of Metro Animal Services. This event provides funds for animals such as medical care, bedding, or whatever may come up. fomaslou.org/events MAR C H 6 | 5:30-8P M G I RL S CO U TS DE SS E RTS F I RST Join the Girl Scouts for one of the most popular Louisville events of the year! bidpal.net/dessertsfirst/ticketing 502.413.2855
HELP YOUR HEART IN FEBRUARY YOUR WORDS
Fill in the blank: Women’s Right To __________ Everything we want! @SANDYFRENCH17
Choose! @DIGR4U2
February is American Heart Awareness Month. It’s important to act today to lower your risk of heart disease. Here are a few things that you can do to help prevent it:
Embrace her power and be celebrated for it, not judged. @SULLY4485
We love hearing from you! Watch our Facebook page and Instagram stories for a monthly question! Tag photos on Instagram with #TodaysWomanLove.
6
February 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
EAT HE ALTHY
MANAG E STR E SS
QUIT SMOKIN G
Today’s Woman / February 2020
7
Meet the dogs that work By Megan M. Seckman Photos by Erika Doll
8
February 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
T
he beloved dog has been a human companion since ancient Egypt, where they were found buried
with their pharaohs as far back as 2100 B.C. It is no wonder why we love these animals: the incredible canine species is capable of learning 250 words; detecting fear, cancer, and seizures; and telling time. When we stroke a dog’s fur and gaze into their eyes, oxytocin (the love hormone) is released not only in our brains, but in theirs as well. Man’s — and woman’s — best friend, indeed. In this article, you will meet three exceptional working dogs that have not only won the hearts of their owners, but are also helping to save lives. PAGE 10 >>
Colt’s dog Wink helps him with basic tasks which include taking off tight or bulky clothing.
Today’s Woman / February 2020
9
Meet Wink,
the Golden retriever service dog
Working animals
W
hen WAVE-3 News Anchor Shannon Cogan’s chemistry between the child and dog. When Colt was placed twins were born, one of the boys, Colt, suffered a with Wink (his favorite dog in the group), he literally jumped cardiac arrest that left him with several lingering up and down with joy. This was a match made in heaven. disabilities. Colt, now 11, has had to undergo physical, speech, In a few short months, Shannon has noticed the profound and occupational therapies to address his hearing loss, ADHD, impact Wink has on Colt. Giving the commands helps Colt speech delay, and low muscle tone. But one therapy has articulate his speech and gain confidence. Wink helps Colt changed this family’s lives more than any other: a goldenwith his physical therapy by laying on the backs of his tight coated lab known as Wink. hamstrings, and can help Colt with gross motor skills such For two years Colt was on the waitlist for Canine as taking off tight pajamas and bulky coats. When Companions for Independence, a non-profit Wink gets the command “Tug” from Colt, he uses his “Wink is a organization out of California that matches service muzzle to help him undress. dogs to needy recipients, free of charge. Wink More than anything, Shannon appreciates the peace-builder calming was specially bred for his people-driven, patient, effect that Wink has on Colt. Doctor’s and obedient temperament, and was raised by a appointments and surgeries used to frustrate Colt, and friendvolunteer family outside of Chicago as a pup. At but with Wink by his side, he is now calm and at ease. maker.” a year-and-a-half, Wink was sent to California Going out to eat has also become a more enjoyable to receive extensive training by the organization. experience with Wink. Colt had trouble waiting for a He knows over 50 commands and can sit with a table or food, but now Wink gives him something to dog biscuit on his paw for over an hour, until he is given the do with his impulsivity. “Wink is a peace-builder and friendcommand to eat it. This is a dog like no other, and he has maker,” Shannon says. At his twin brother’s sporting events, revolutionized Colt’s quality of life. many children now approach Colt and it has helped him form Wink and Colt were matched after intensive training and social bonds. observations. For 20 days, Shannon and Colt attended classes Wink can also pay with a credit card, carry a shopping bag, where Canine Companions for Independence prepared and follow commands without distraction at a busy mall. But the family for their skilled companion. Shannon likens Colt’s favorite command? “Visit.” That is when Wink puts his the experience to a dating service: the handlers looked for head on Colt’s lap so that Colt can give him love. PAGE 12 >>
10
February 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
Today’s Woman / February 2020
11
W
hen Bella, her Belgian Malinois, was only 10-12 weeks old, Jefferson County Coroner Barbara WeakleyJones began training her in the art of human remains detection. Barbara, who trained six previous cadaver dogs, began by placing blood or decomposed tissue in one of three concrete blocks. When Bella, now 9, would show interest in the scent, she would receive a reward — the bounce of a tennis ball, her favorite toy. Soon, Bella learned to detect the scent with the command “Find it” and signal her detection with a bark. Several years ago, a skull surfaced in East Jefferson County after a tree crew cleared land for the sewer district. Barbara and Bella were sent out to find the rest of the body. In the open field, Bella alerted next to a large pile of rocks that housed a matte of hair from the victim. Bella, tenacious in her ability to “find it,” refused to stop there. She alerted in a second location, about 100 yards away. While the crew was busy digging at the first site and ignoring Bella’s signal, Barbara followed Bella. “I always say you need to trust your dog. I even have a bracelet with that message on it. The dog doesn’t know how to fool you — if they are alerting, there is a reason,” Barbara says. It turns out, Bella located the rest of the victim’s remains (a 10-year missing person cold case) in the second rock mound. The body was buried at an angle, causing the skull to disrupt from the site and surface away from the remains. Barbara has trained six previous cadaver dogs and says training these animals is often the highlight of her week. Her dogs are trained to locate scent on land, in the water, and after disasters like floods and fires. Besides work, Bella also loves to run and play. She is an energetic alpha female that is great with people. “She is definitely the queen bee. If the other dogs are on the couch, Bella will growl until they clear out and make room for her.” PAGE 14 >>
12
February 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
Meet Bella, the Belgian Malinois cadaver dog
Working animals
“I always say you need to trust your dog. I even have a bracelet with that message on it. The dog doesn’t know how to fool you — if they are alerting, there is a reason.”
PROMOTION
omen In
By Barbara Myerson Katz Photo by Melissa Donald
HEALTHCARE
meet Dr. Karen Scott Doctor of Physical Therapy Pain and Performance Solutions
D
r. Karen Scott says pain is the body’s messaging system, “screaming out that something is not right.” The problem, says the doctor of physical therapy, is that the root cause of pain is often not where we feel it. The only physical therapist in Kentucky certified in NeuroKinetic Therapy® and Amino Neurofrequency Therapy, Karen explains that even a decades-old injury can cause chronic pain by blocking normal neural communication between the brain and injured muscles. The result is that other muscles take the brunt of stress — for example, when a woman has a C-section, her abdominals become underactive and weak and can remain that way for decades until the scar is properly addressed. This leads to increased back pain and pain in the hips due to lack of abdominal support. Karen, a Kentucky native, describes herself as a nontraditional, holistic physical therapist. At Pain and Performance Solutions, her Louisville private practice, Karen specializes in restoring hope and function back to people who have tried numerous other therapies and failed treatments and have lost hope of ever returning to a normal lifestyle or doing the things they love again. Karen’s unique approach typically gets positive results on the first visit. For the curious, Karen offers all new patients a free “discovery visit” to get acquainted with her and her techniques. She provides an assessment and pinpoints areas of the body where brain-muscle breakdown has occurred.
“I WOULD SHOUT FROM THE ROOFTOPS: ‘LADIES, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LIVE WITH THIS PAIN!’” Ultimately, Karen says, each treatment plan is unique. “What I look at today and fix today for you shouldn’t be the same the next time I see you,” she explains. “I re-check everything every single time, and I go where the body tells me to go, so there’s no guesswork. They call NeuroKinetic Therapy ‘the missing link’ because there’s no guessing where to fix, what to activate, because the body tells me exactly what needs to be done.” She is able to get to the root cause of the symptoms once and for all. Painandperformancesolutions.org offers tips on easing back pain, as well as options to receive free reports on your well being. What would life be like if you didn’t have to worry about how your pain is going to affect your activities?
102 DAVENTRY LANE, SUITE 5 | L OUISVILLE, KY 40223 (502) 276-7222 | PAINANDPERFORMANCESOLUTIONS.ORG
D
ude, or officially “The Dude,” was named after the main character in The Big Lebowski and didn’t begin his career as a service dog until he was ripe into his eighth year of life. Dude, a Fox Red Lab, was Star Amaya’s family pet. When her previous service dog retired, her mother insisted that they train Dude to do the job. At first, Dude, akin to his name, was a bit too chill for the job. But after working with him, Dude learned to be the top dog in his new role as Star’s mobility and psychiatric service dog. Dude helps Star, a junior at Atherton High School, with tasks made difficult by her cerebral palsy and through her PTSD episodes. A psychiatric service dog’s function is not to provide emotional support but to enable the handler to navigate through times of stress and anxiety. He performs deep pressure therapy that triggers a calming response, and “alerts” by jumping on Star when she begins hyperventilating, crying, and/or displaying anxiety tics. This response signals Star to take a seat and work to calm herself. His mobility tasks include bracing, momentum pulling, counterbalance, and picking up and carrying items such as the remote or phone. Dude knows how to fetch help for Star when needed, and can open and shut doors and drawers. Ironically, the one task that Dude has struggled with the most in his 10 months as a service dog is in the art of retrieval. Despite his breed’s predisposition, Star said when she would throw a ball, Dude would just sit and stare, not interested in playing the game. Now, however, Dude has learned much more than to fetch — and has changed Star’s quality of life in the process.
14
February 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
Meet Dude,
the full-time service dog
Working animals He performs deep pressure therapy that triggers a calming response and “alerts” by jumping on Star when she begins hyperventilating, crying, and/or displaying anxiety tics.
Today’s Woman / February 2020
15
! e M e u c es
R
WHEN AN ACT OF KINDNESS IS SO REWARDING By Tiffany White Photos by Melissa Donald
T
hese adorable denim-clad dogs have been given a chance to give and receive love because of their new owners. Several organizations are doing work to bring owner and pet together — and we feature three of them. PAGE 18 >>
16
February 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
OLDY BUT GOODY Susanna Westerfield is happy she could give her dog Hunter a loving secure home after learning that she had rescued Hunter from a dire situation. “Hunter was abandoned by her owner without water. There have been times I can see her uncertainty because she misses her owner and is unsure whether she is with us for the long run. I asked to foster a senior. I got what I got, and she’s been the best pet for our family.”
SUSANNA M. WESTERFIELD AND HUNTER Executive Director at Friends of Metro Animal Services
Today’s Woman / February 2020
17
ANIMAL-SAVING ORGANIZATIONS By Megan S. Willman
Whether they are owned pets or working animals, or those that have found a home on our porches or in our backyards, many local people and agencies strive to protect those animals and provide them support. Here are a few local ones.
CAT FIXERS
For a long time, the method of addressing difficulties with stray cats was to trap and euthanize them. This was a nationwide practice and still exists in many towns today. Karen Little, executive director of Alley Cat Advocates, was a leader in establishing the more humane practice of “Trap, Neuter, Return” (TNR). Removing a cat from the place it called home did not solve any problems. Another feline would simply move into that space and the cycle would continue. In 1999, Karen and her husband began to utilize the TNR method, doing so in specific Louisville communities where there were dense populations of unowned cats. They collected evidence and found that the cats and their human neighbors were much happier with the TNR technique. In 2012, Louisville signed an ordinance adopting the TNR method, and since then Alley Cats has spayed or neutered around 4,500 cats every year. Today, Karen goes to cities all around the country to share the successes of this progressive model. TNR BASICS INCLUDE: • Cats are brought into a shelter to be spayed/neutered, given any necessary vaccinations, and returned to their adopted home. • Previous issues such as spraying their territory and loud noises are eliminated, making the cats more welcome upon return to their neighborhoods. • Additional medical needs are addressed, if necessary. • All services are free of charge. • By calling the free phone helpline (502.634.8777), community members can not only schedule TNR service but can also get training and advice to assist with any concerns related to the cats in their community. For those who may think of these animals as strays, Karen has a different way of looking at them. “These cats are not homeless; they know where they live,” she says. “These are healthy, happy animals who are cared for by many. Each is likely to have more than one person who would miss them if they were no longer there.”
18
NOT HIS FIRST MODELING GIG Selena Howard didn’t intend to become a pet owner when she met Mateo, who was a 4-day old puppy she volunteered to bottle feed. “A friend’s family member’s dog had a large litter of puppies and couldn’t keep up milk production to feed all of the puppies so they reached out to me, because I had bottle feeding experience. Fast forward two years and here we are. He is my pride and joy...the biggest mama’s boy there is.” Mateo also comes to the rescue of other animals by being a universal blood donor dog at IndyVet Emergency & Specialty Hospital in Indianapolis. He is a dog model for @chasinsquirrels and @kahlsdesigns which are shops that sell bandanas (he’s wearing one) and bow ties for cats and dogs.
SELENA HOWARD AND MATEO Veterinary Assistant at Combs Veterinary Clinic in Bloomington, Indiana PAGE 20 >>
February 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
PROMOTION
By Barbara Myerson Katz Photo by Melissa Donald
Katie Schneider Curran
K
atie Schneider Curran was literally born into the hospitality business. The great-granddaughter of late Galt House founder Al J. Schneider, Katie was named Area Director of Catering for AJS Hotels in 2019 and oversees catering activities at Louisville’s Galt House Hotel, Crowne Plaza Hotel, and the downtown Embassy Suites — some 200,000 square feet of event space in all. The Galt House Hotel is currently undergoing an $80 million renovation to be completed in July, with every space from guest rooms to
GALS AT
AREA DIRECTOR OF CATERING
ballrooms getting a floor to ceiling makeover. Katie notes that 65 percent of that renovation work was sourced locally and awarded to Louisville and southern Indiana firms. “We believe in the local community,” she says. “That’s what my great-grandfather believed. We’re always going to be here to help the local community.” Family background aside, Katie is no newcomer to the hotel biz. As a student, she took a lifeguard gig at The Galt, loved it, and returned for the next several summers. After finishing hospitality studies at Louisville’s
Sullivan University, she became a catering manager for the hotel. “That’s where I got my feet wet in this crazy industry,” Katie says. “I fell in love with it, and I’ve been doing it ever since.” Katie manages catering for groups ranging from small business gatherings to galas for more than 1,000 guests. “You have your clients that return year after year, and you develop a relationship with them. They love Louisville, and a lot of the groups that I work with are non-profits or fundraising galas. I feel like I get to make a difference in their world.”
140 N. Fourth St. | Louisville, KY | 800-THE GALT | galthouse.com
A HORSE’S SECOND LIFE
When race horses finish a career on the track, most of them still want to work. “Horses like to have a job,” says Susan Brown, program manager at Second Stride, Inc. “We are proud to say that we place about 100 horses a year in their forever homes.” Susan and Whitney Davis, Second Stride’s adoption coordinator, work to pair the horses with new owners and careers that suit them. “We assess both the horse’s needs and that of the adopter, taking our time so that the match is one that lasts,” Susan says. That assessment includes the horse’s temperament and any physical limitations, as well as conversations with vets and any others who have worked previously with the horse. Possible second-career job opportunities include: •E venting (i.e., show-jumping, dressage, cross-country, stadium work) • Polo teams • Western activities like barrel-racing • Competitive trail-riding •P asture buddy (i.e., just hanging out and enjoying the great outdoors)
CALMING THE STORM Maji Koetter-Ali wasn’t a dog lover, but she couldn’t resist Bobby who she says taught her about unconditional love and loyalty. “He changed my perspective and life for the better.” Bobby’s previous owner could no longer care for him, because of housing limitations. “That’s when my husband and I were lucky enough to adopt him. When we brought him home, he had extreme anxiety, he was malnourished so much that his bones were showing. He had whipworm, and he hadn’t received any of his shots.” Now Bobby is a healthy, happy dog who enjoys spending time with his owners at EP Tom Sawyer Park. “Seeing the transformation he’s made from the anxiety-ridden dog he was the day we adopted him to the happy and energetic dog he is today, makes me so happy. I’ve loved getting to know him and seeing his love and trust grow day by day.”
MAJI KOETTER-ALI AND BOBBY Registered Dietician at Roots Reboot
20
February 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
PAGE 22 >>
Today’s Woman / February 2020
21
HUMANE TREATMENT
In operation since 1884, the Kentucky Humane Society (KHS) is the oldest animal welfare agency in the state. Over the last year, it helped 7,200 animals. Andrea Blair, PR and marketing director for KHS, says, “Our community has truly embraced animal welfare — the Compassionate City concept extends to animals. Pet homelessness in Louisville has been solved. Now we want to expand our services to other counties within the state.” KHS works exclusively with three species: dogs, cats, and horses. It offers the following services to enhance the lives of those treasured animals: KHS Snip Clinic: This spay/neuter initiative has cared for 120,000 animals since 2007. Free Pet Help Line, 502.509.4PET (4738): More than 13,000 callers a year receive advice on topics such as house-training, preparing for a baby in the home, introducing a new pet, and handling aggression. Low-cost Veterinary Clinic: This walk-in/no-appointment clinic provides basic vet services (vaccines and preventative care) and is not intended to replace a full-service veterinarian. Equine CARE Program: Supporting our local horse population, this program works to Connect, Assist, Rehome, and Educate horses and humans so they can stay together. Behavior training: Offered in a few locations, these classes help enhance the relationship between owner and pet. Pet Resorts: Owned pets can receive grooming, boarding, and day care services; any proceeds go back to the KHS shelter to fund programming.
HE CAN WHISPER! When Cathi Bingaman rescued her dog Lammy from the Shelby County Humane Society five years ago, she knew there was something special about him. “He listens and watches to learn. He talks (loud bark) and he whispers (just a soft woof), puts toys back in his basket, closes doors, counts to three and says ‘I love you’,” she says. However, his stand-out feature is his right ear that consistently stays up. “People stop while driving to ask us what kind of dog he is, and he has made countless people smile — many who desperately needed to.”
CATHI BINGAMAN AND LAMBEAU “LAMMY” Owner & CEO of InSync with You Personal Concierge & Lifestyle Management Company
22
February 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
Today’s Woman / February 2020
23
Love & Finances: How Things Get Divided By A. Holland Houston
F
ebruary is the love month and it’s a good time to consider your finances, especially if you’re considering cohabitation, separation, or divorce. Clearly, property division is one of the thorniest parts to a divorce or separation. “Who gets the stuff?” is a question for the parties to attempt to mete out as fairly as possible or submit to the Court at a cost that may not justify the value of the personal property. Some things are invaluable, undoubtedly, and may justify a Court’s intervention. Pets, for example, are property, but the Court could determine who is the more fit party for their care. Kentucky law provides for the assignment of nonmarital property and the division of marital property in just proportions. Certainly legalese for lay people, but terms you should be familiar with before embarking on a new financial joint venture or exiting one before the great thaw. Broadly, property obtained post marriage is classified into two categories: property that was yours before you married or an inheritance, bequeath, or devise you receive during marriage, and property that you obtain after marriage. Even
those two categories can have some crossover when parties commingle assets, but avoiding tangled webs of what is nonmarital and marital property can be simple if you know the rules in advance. Kentucky is a just proportions, rather than a community property, state when Courts are called upon to divide property. Property, loosely defined for divorce purposes includes both real property and personal property, investments, vehicles, insurance policies, furniture, and more. While many people believe Courts will divide all of the above equally between the parties, Courts must operate instead to divide property between spouses in a fair way considering the totality of assets and debts that comprise the marital estate, accounting for non marital property assigned to each spouse. Courts will review settlement agreements for lopsided divisions to safeguard against fraud and duress in the making of agreements that allow one party such a lion’s share of the estate so as to leave the other party destitute in an agreement that might “shock the conscience” of the Court.
A. Holland Houston is a local family court lawyer and a mediator with more than 20 years of experience.
24
February 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
Today’s Woman / February 2020
25
NOT
YOU ARE ENOUGH JUST ASK JOYCE:
MY HUSBAND’S LIST OF “THINGS I SHOULD CHANGE” “My husband presented me with a list of things he would like to change about me. It took me a little by surprise, but I have to admit that several of his requests were legit. I know I need work in some areas, but the others he outlined were harsh. “I am especially struggling with three of the requests: drop three dress sizes, become more interested in sports, and wishes I was a blonde instead of a brunette. I’m afraid it would be unreasonable of me to tell him I’m not on board for three of the 10. I don’t want to lose him, but I do feel our relationship has been a bit strained as of recent months. How should I respond to him without creating more tension between us?”
JOYCE’S FIX: Myriad thoughts run through my head as I consider how to encourage you to stay the course and preserve this marriage. Of course, I’m an advocate for keeping a family together and would cheer you on to do almost whatever it takes to save yours. I would be remiss, however, if I didn’t first attempt to advise you to save yourself. I’m curious as to whose idea the 10-ways-to-improve-your-spouse list was to begin with. Did you exchange lists, or are you the only one who received one? My advice to you would be somewhat different depending on the answer to my question. By your own admission, your marriage has been strained for several months. I would hope you each have sought counseling in order to get your feet back on solid ground. If so, perhaps this was an exercise given to you as a couple to complete. That being the case, it should be embraced as a sincere effort to work through difficult issues each of you are facing with the other.
26
February 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
I am of the impression, however, this could possibly be a one-sided enumeration of grievances. You say you are fully aware of seven being problematic behavior on your part. I find it exceptional that you have owned those and there’s no push-back of your desire to change in order to please. Sports, size, and sizzle. Now, those are radical changes, none of which wouldn’t be attainable should you desire. But are these things you “want” to change? Let’s address each. Sports. Does he want you to play football or just watch it? Not everyone is sports-minded. Our interests vary. What I hear your husband saying is “I want you to do things with me.” Personally, I can take football or leave it, but I watch many games because I enjoy spending time with my husband. He played golf for years before I decided to join him, and now I play without him. I would hope your husband shares in your interests, as well. We can all “fake a punt” at times [pun intended]. That’s certainly one on the list you could
accomplish for the sake of the marriage. Size. Most of us would love to drop a dress size or two. With a lot of determination and discipline, it is usually an attainable goal. His mere suggestion alone has planted a seed of insecurity in your head. What will you do with that — plant it or toss it aside? You alone must learn to accept who you are, and part of that is the body we were given. Size down if you want to please him, but do it more for yourself. Sizzle. He wants a blonde? You don’t have to cave to every whim and wish of his, but if you want to keep him, start with highlights. Don’t go full platinum, but change it up. He might not like it at all, but you could. Most of all, be happy with yourself. Work on the things you agree are issues. You could find this wish list was a red flag warning of someone new. You could also let him know you’ve completed your list, now here’s his. Struggling with a relationship issue? Write Joyce Oglesby, Family Life FIX-IT Pro at justaskjoyce@gmail.com and find a solution for life.
Today’s Woman / February 2020
27
Photo by Melissa Donald
28
February 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
“LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY AND DON'T BE AFRAID TO SHOW IT.” Amy Dickman didn’t realize her four rescue dogs could teach her some valuable life lessons. Three years ago, while her family was out, a fire started in their home with her dogs Tex, Rocky, Rusty, and Opal trapped inside. All of the dogs survived but Amy says they have taught her a valuable lesson about life. “Even though my family lost everything else, we had each other and our dogs. We actually gained a better perspective on life, perhaps one that dogs already know... love unconditionally and don't be afraid to show it. Material things don't matter. Enjoy the journey and live in the moment.”
Today’s Woman / February 2020
29
AN ANGEL AMONG THE ANIMALS By Tammy Gilles Photo by Erika Doll
P
olly Helton, director of Oldham County Animal Control, has been nursing animals back to health since she was a child. In 2011, she became a certified rescuer through the Kentucky Department of Fish and Wildlife Rehabilitation. Now, she often has 20 to 25 animals that she is caring for in her home at any given time. Polly shares with us how she got started and what a typical day looks like.
WHY RESCUE ANIMALS? “When I was little, my dad would bring home little critters that needed help from his feed store. I would help nurse them back to health.”
WHAT TYPES OF ANIMALS ARE YOU RESCUING? “Raccoons are my favorite! We get a lot of opossum. I’ve even had snakes and turtles brought to me. I also bring home kittens and puppies from work that need to be bottle-fed.”
WHAT KINDS OF INJURIES DO YOU TREAT? “A lot of the injuries I deal with are animals with broken bones or wounds. Most times they’re just dehydrated or too young to care for themselves. If the injury is more than I can treat, I have a couple of vets who will help out at a reduced rate or free of charge. Most snakes I get are injured due to getting tangled up in garden fences (those plastic net type) or they just get really cold and need to be warmed up.
WHAT DOES A TYPICAL DAY LOOK LIKE FOR YOU? “I get up at about 6am and feed all the animals. I pack up any little ones that need to be fed throughout the day and bring them to work with me. I feed them on my breaks. I’ll go home on my lunch break and feed them again. When I get home at about 4pm, I refeed all of the animals. Before I go to bed, I clean their cages and feed them again.”
WHAT IS THE BEST PART OF WHAT YOU DO? “It’s probably releasing them. It’s bittersweet. I’ve spent a few months with these little animals and we’ve gotten attached.”
CELEBRATING 28 YEARS OF TODAY’S WOMAN AND OUR RIGHTS FEBRUARY 13TH, 2020 FRAZIER HISTORY MUSEUM, 4TH FLOOR LOFT | 5:30 – 8 PM Join us on Galentine’s Day as we celebrate our 28th Birthday and the anniversary of the Women’s Rights Movement. You will spend your evening networking with the community, listening to motivational speakers, and have chances to win some amazing giveaways and door prizes. PURCHASE TICKETS AT TODAYSWOMANNOW.COM/28BIRTHDAY 30
February 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
Today’s Woman / February 2020
31
My Valentine’s Tradition: The Card of Confidence By Tonilyn Hornung
S
tanding in the greeting card section of the store, I can’t help but smile. Rows of colorful cards tower over me, and even though I might need the navigation app on my phone to find my way out, right now my heart is happy. I’m on the hunt for the perfect card for my special Valentine — who happens to be my 6-year-old son. In my six years of parenting, I’ve tried establishing fun traditions for all the different holidays we celebrate. There’ve been top-notch ideas like the Mickey Mouse-shaped waffles we eat for Christmas breakfast and not-so genius plans like playing flashlight tag in the bright sun on the Fourth of July. Coming up with fun rituals builds meaningful memories for my son, but giving my little guy his very own big kid Valentine card is not my idea. It’s the inspired concept of my father and grandfather. In my family, St. Valentine’s Day is not only a day meant for romantic sweethearts, but also a time we show family members we're thinking of them. I’m not sure how this practice began, but I’ve been given a Valentine’s Day card from my dad and Papa for as long as I can remember. This tradition grew as I did, and eventually I began to understand its deeper meaning. As a child, having my very own card when I wasn’t even allowed to walk to our mailbox by myself made me feel very fancy. This is why I took my time reading both cards and savoring the sentiment behind every word. I traced the detailed illustrations with my finger until each finger had the
32
February 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
design memorized. My grandfather and father’s tiny tangible gesture showed me I was appreciated, and I certainly felt that way. I began to depend on their simple act of sending cards as relationships in my life became more complex. In grade school, my social circle was as precarious as Jo’s relationship with Blair on The Facts of Life. There were days when I wasn’t sure of my friends or of myself. Peer groups and social structures were working to decrease my developing selfworth, and that’s when the smallest of gestures made the biggest of impacts. I found stability was not a hallmark of my junior high days, but those Hallmark cards sure were. My yearly Valentine’s Day cards helped me grow in confidence, knowing that I was always appreciated in my family circle. The consistency of the cards showed me I could depend on my family’s support when I was picked last for kickball or my friend chose a new one. They gave me a much needed boost, and this is why I want to continue the tradition with my son. I want my little guy to feel the same sense of caring intention. Those cards followed me into my adulthood, and even though my husband has been my official Valentine for quite some time, my dad still sends me a Valentine’s Day card every year. Today, I take my time tracing the card’s design with my finger, but now I appreciate the sender who picked it out even more.
STOP THE BUSY:
LIVE AN INTENTIONAL LIFE By Bob Mueller
“How you doing?” I asked. “So busy,” she immediately responded.
2. DO LESS.
I asked another employee: “How’s it going?” “Crazy busy!” she said.
Stop doing it all. Say no. Protect your time for what matters most to you. Work with people who want your best, not your busiest. Stop comparing lists, your life, and your love. Know your strength. What do you do best? What can you delegate or release completely?
I asked a third person the same question: “Good, but very busy.” These three responses made me realize that I too have used my busyness as a sign that I was important, needed, and really good at doing it all. I believe that for many of us busyness is a part of our definition of success. Busyness has become more pervasive than clutter in complicating our lives. We have plenty of decluttering strategies, but what should we do about our busy lives? I’d like to suggest a boycott against busyness. Here are four things to help: 1. STOP TALKING ABOUT BUSYNESS. Let’s stop telling each other how busy we are. That conversation isn’t helping us connect or become less busy. Talking about busyness make me feel busy, even when I’m not. Instead of “How are you?” I am going to ask people, “What was the best part of your day?” or “Who or what made you smile today?” or “What will you remember about this week?” For the next seven days, ban the word busy from your vocabulary. This may be more challenging than you think.
3. LINGER A LITTLE. A busy life says, “Hurry up! You’re falling behind.” A slow one says, “You can stop now.” It’s okay to be still and listen to your soul and stop to say a prayer in the warmth of the sunshine. There is no guilt in self-care and no shame in lingering or waking up slowly. Instead of thinking about the opposite of busyness as laziness, consider the opposite of a busy life as a full, intentional life. 4. STOP SAYING YOU’RE OVERWHELMED. It is not a virtue. You don’t get bonus points for being stressed out, exhausted, and depleted. Develop your own hands-on-heart practice. Place one hand on your heart, and cover your hand with the other. Feel your heart beating. Feel the warmth of your heart and your hands. Now, while continuing to breathe in and out with some intention, and while feeling the warmth, start a conversation with your heart. Bob Mueller is Mission and Stewardship Officer at Hosparus Health Today’s Woman / February 2020
33
28 THINGS (Why 28? Because we are 28 years old!)
Happenings, news, and tidbits that caught Today’s Woman’s eye this month
1-4 The Sweetest Things
By Anita Oldham
These bakeries have the sweetest things available — here’s a few to get your heart inspired.
Scarlet’s Bakery, which helps train women in baking and other life skills, offers the large 3-tier cake (red velvet or chocolate) at $34.99, the medium 3-tiered cake at $15, and the small heart-shaped cake for $6. Macaroons are $2.50 each. Two locations: 741 East Oak St. and 106 Fairfax Avenue in Louisville.
Photos by Melissa Donald
Grace Konzelman at Bakery 3303 created these "chalkboard" cookies where you can write your own message with a sugar chalk. Cookies are $2.50, and orders can be placed on instagram @bakery3303 or email to bakery3303@ gmail.com
Smoothing Out the Ruff Edges
— Tiffany White
34
February 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
5 Photo by Melissa Donald
For Sacred Heart students, each day brings joyful moments when they interact with Mac, the school dog. Lauren Hitron, director of the Jean Frazier Leadership Institute at Sacred Heart Schools and the Sacred Heart Academy dean of students, brought Mac into the school to provide comfort for the students. “We got matched with Mac in the summer of 2017 when he was still a puppy, and he has been living with me since the fall of 2017. He works mostly with the high school girls at Sacred Heart Academy in the counseling office. He will visit classrooms before tests, be a companion in the counseling office, and in the fall and spring they have Mindful Walks with Mac during the student’s study hall.”
28 THINGS ONE OF THE MOST INSPIRING WOMEN WE’VE MET
Photo by Patti Hartog
6
Carrey Dewey’s had a valiant battle with ALS. As soon as she was diagnosed, Carrey decided to keep a journal of her journey — to help other ALS patients and families — which she shared with thousands of followers. When she died, her father Joe, and her Hosparus caretaker, Barbara Victoria, carried out her wishes, and edited her journal into the book. Joe and Barbara are donating proceeds from the sale of Carrey’s book to ALS organizations to further education and research.
l 7. Joe Robinson (father of Carrey Dewey) and Barbara Victoria (Carrey’s Hosparus caretaker) are the editors of KICKIN’ ALS: A Young Mother’s Journey through Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis.
8. Learn how you can volunteer to be a caretaker by visiting hosparushealth.org/ volunteers and sign up to attend a training on February 22.
9 Make a Pet Plan The Paw and Feather Plan LLC will host a free public session about including pets in wills, trusts, and directives at The Louisville Free Public Library, Crescent Hill Branch, on Feb. 29 at 3pm. Creating more awareness is the goal of Jessica Pita, owner of the Louisville-based Paw and Feather Plan (thepawandfeatherplan.com), and Kelli Brown, Louisville-based author, speaker and estate planning attorney. “In my (animal) shelter days we’d see family members of the deceased turning in the deceased’s pets, and it was heartbreaking,” Jessica says.
10
Don’t forget your furry friends this Valentine’s Day...
Three Dog Bakery has Owner Shelby Simpson and Pastry Chef Brenda Miller offering all kinds of sugar and salt-free items that are made with whole wheat flour, applesauce, and peanut butter. Cookies are $3.95, cake $6.95, cupcakes $4.95, and lab loaf $7.95. You can find them at 3929 Chenoweth Sq, Louisville. Today’s Woman / February 2020
35
28 THINGS — ELEVEN —
100 YEARS
What Is A Vote Worth? is an initiative of The Frazier Museum, Louisville Metro Office For Women and the League of Women Voters Louisville and the Louisville Visual Art Association is hosting a poster contest. Get all the details at louisvillevisualart.org/ poster-contest
SINCE THE RIGHT TO VOTE You will be hearing many inspiring stories regarding the Suffrage Movement, which is the fight for the right for women to vote. We asked some local women for the rights they are most thankful for and reasons they can feel the importance in their life. Come and celebrate with us at our Galentine’s Day Party. 12. We owe a great debt to the women who, in the face of considerable resistance, fought to secure workplace rights that paved the way for me and other women to lead. Women’s right to be engaged in the political process through voting and holding office has influenced my work in such textured ways that it’s impossible to fully trace. I think many women would agree such a natural right — the ability to speak out, be heard, and hold power in the system that makes governing decisions — is a fundamental part of a just society. — Judy Lambeth, President and CEO, Maryhurst 13. Being in the realm of politics, I cannot imagine that just 100 years ago women were not able to vote. The fight of the suffrage movement is something all American women should be eternally grateful for. This is why even now it is important that every woman vote and we teach our daughters to do the same. — Ashli Watts, president and chief executive officer, Kentucky Chamber of Commerce 14 I am most thankful for the right to be educated. This is the best advantage any woman can have. With education and determination, us women have made a huge difference in the world. — Ingrid Hernández, President of INgrid Design
21
100 YEARS AGO WE GOT THE RIGHT TO VOTE. On February 13, we have the right to celebrate! Go to TodaysWomanNow.com to get tickets.
15. I am most thankful for the 1st amendment to the Bill of Rights, specifically the freedom of speech. Without this liberty, there would be very limited avenues for change, individualism, sharing of knowledge, thoughts, and opinions. It is the most basic freedom, yet the most impactful, so deserving of its place as amendment number one. Without this right, women could not have fought for suffrage, control of their bodies, equality. We continue to use this right today in our fight for equal pay, fair family leave, and so much more. — Soon Bahrami MD, Section Chief and Associate Prof of Dermatopathology
16. I think voting rights were helpful, but educational access and the right to work are the keys to independence. I am so very grateful to live in a society where I am freely accepted and competitive in an industry still dominated by men. Financial opportunities have afforded me the ability to shape my personal life and know that I can provide for myself and my children. — Stacye Love, Owner of Stacye Love Construction 17. The right to vote has made the biggest difference for me as it enabled my foremothers and today’s women to fight for all other rights. — Marsha Weinstein, President, National Collaborative for Women’s History Sites
18. Every day when I sign a check, take out a credit card in my name, vote, receive equal pay, the right to choose, I think of my grandmother. She taught me to be strong, to take nothing for granted, and to fight for those who are disenfranchised. The right that has made the biggest difference to me is the right to own property. I just bought a house in the Louisville’s West End as a single female. To invest in my own wealth and to perhaps have the opportunity to offer generational wealth to my future daughters is very important to me. When I made the choice to own property in the Portland neighborhood where my family emigrated to from Ireland in 1880s is the first time I felt real freedom. I cherish the right to own my own piece of land and call it home. — Katy Delahanty Outreach Director, Louisville Visual Art 19. I’m most thankful for being free from sexual violence. The right that’s made the most significant difference for me is equal rights, although because I’m of Hispanic descent, I still today feel discriminated against. — Yamilca Rodriguez, Founder of the Archetype Method
20. The right to vote has made the biggest difference for me and while I am regularly disappointed in the choices presented I am thankful that the vote of a woman counts as much as the vote of any man because by voting we influence the direction of our community and country. — Sadiqa N. Reynolds, Esq., President & CEO, Louisville Urban League
22-24
KEEP LEARNING • Leadership Louisville is offering two workshops for women in March. Go to LeadershipLouisville.org. • Authentic Leadership for Women, March 19 • Bold Women: Find your Voice & Kick Some Glass, March 20
36
February 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
Today’s Woman / February 2020
37
28 THINGS
Mix Up Your Valentine No matter your relationship status, Bourbon Women has a cocktail recipe for you this month. Kentuckian Heather Wibbels is an award-winning home mixologist, working alongside Bourbon Women to educate and create cocktails.
26 BOYS ON THE SIDE
25 BETWEEN THE SHEETS
“Nutella and whiskey together are heavenly. Whether you make this one for a night out with the girls or a romantic evening in for Valentine’s Day, you’ll love having a little extra chocolate sauce for whatever is on the menu for dessert. Besides, it’ll give you a reason to buy that jar of Nutella to have around the house in case of emergency,” Heather says. BETWEEN THE SHEETS • 1 ½ ounces of 100 proof bourbon (or higher) • 1 ounce Nutella *see below • ½ ounce Ballotin chocolate whiskey • ¼ ounce Rivulet pecan liqueur • Garnish: Nutella and crushed roasted hazelnuts Combine the ingredients in a shaker and fill with ice. Double strain into a chilled martini glass. Garnish the glass before pouring in the cocktail by spreading a bit of Nutella on the outside rim and pressing hazelnuts into the Nutella. *Nutella chocolate sauce: Slightly warm 4 ounces of bourbon cream and add 4 tablespoons of Nutella. Stir until well combined. This makes a crazy-good boozy chocolate sauce perfect for ice cream, coffee, strawberries or anything that needs a little decadence.
38
February 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
“Let’s take a moment to celebrate the strong women and best friends that lift us up when life gets hard. I designed a cocktail with bourbon and chocolate, paired it with raspberry because we all want friends who are sweet, but a little tart and sassy when we need it. Along with bourbon, we’ve got a small amount of amaro — a bitter digestive to take the sweet down a notch — and a few drops of a smoke and salt bitter to add just the suggestion of something mysterious,” Heather says. BOYS ON THE SIDE Yield: 1 glass • 1 ½ ounces bourbon • ¾ ounce black raspberry liqueur • ¼ ounce chocolate liqueur • ¼ ounce Foro amaro (or any amaro with hints of coffee and chocolate in it) • 2 drops of Crude “Pooter” smoke and salt bitters • Garnish: fresh raspberries Combine the cocktail ingredients in a mixing glass and add ice. Stir until well-chilled and strain into a chilled coupe or martini glass. Garnish with fresh or frozen raspberries and enjoy with your best friends.
27. The Bourbon Women Association is the first female-focused group in the industry and as of this new year, has now expanded to ten branches, including the national base in Louisville plus New York City, Chicago, Indianapolis, Northern Kentucky/Cincinnati, Tennessee, Texas, D.C, Atlanta, and Michigan. 28. How to join: visit bourbonwomen.org
Today’s Woman / February 2020
39
Blessings In an
T
hree years ago I was hopping around Facebook and spotted a photo posted on a lifelong friend’s page. She commented that she had just gone to the pet rescue center and played with a precious little dog and that “someone seriously needs to go get this little guy. He’s adorable.” She said that she would have taken him in herself, but he was so small, he’d be “hawk bait” out in the country where she lives. I took one look at this little dog and immediately clicked through the link she’d provided. We were not in the market for a new dog. Not one word had been spoken between my husband Charlie and I regarding wanting to add anything or anyone new to our recently renovated home. I wasn’t sitting there gushing over how adorable this dog was. I just knew he was already mine. Within 5 minutes I’d filled out the application, texted with the director of the rescue place, and committed to picking up the dog sight unseen. (See conversation on opposite page.) Two days later, 5.6 lb., 10-year-old Sammy was in our home, and we’ve been living, loving, and laughing together ever since. Because he was surrendered at a senior age, we have never left him for more than a few hours. If we have to go out of town, he goes with us or we all stay home. That’s our forever rule. He’s the brightest, funniest, most playful dog we’ve ever had. Charlie says, “His presence in our life is an enormous daily blessing. When we aren’t feeling happy or like we want to be active, he is there to remind us to get up and move. His superpower is his charm. He definitely knows when to turn on the cuteness.” For many people, taking in a furry friend (or two or more) just as we did, seems to come naturally, and one person after the other relates a story with the common thread of unconditional love, intuitiveness, and acceptance. PAGE 42 >>
40
February 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
BOBBE: “Charlie? CHARLIE: “Yes, baby.” BOBBE: “We’re adopting another dog.” CHARLIE: “No, we are not. We don’t want or need another dog. Maybe later, when Chinah has passed, but not right now. Nooooooo.” BOBBE: “Look at this photo.” He looks. CHARLIE: “Fine. When do we pick him up?” Writer Bobbe Crouch, her husband Charlie, and Sammy shown in the photo.
older Fur Coat By Bobbe Ann Crouch Photos by Melissa Donald
Today’s Woman / February 2020
41
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
Duke is Diane’s constant companion.
For many years, Diane Mullins has had lots of older pets of many varieties. Many have passed on, but today her potbellied pig, Miss Piggy, and Duke, her 12-year-old deer-head chihuahua, are alive and thriving under her care. “Duke’s first Mommy died of cancer, so he went to live with her niece. Then she went through a divorce and couldn’t keep him, so he came to live with me,” Diane says. “I’ve had him for about six years now. He isn’t really a funny guy. He is pretty serious. I think his super power is definitely his intuitiveness. Most times he knows when I’m upset before I know it. All he wants is to show me unconditional love.” One time Duke followed Miss Piggy out of Diane’s fenced back yard. “Pigs root, and she had gotten the bottom of the fence up so she could go exploring and Duke followed. He got out by the highway and was hit by a car. I searched for three days trying to find him.” Even though he was severely injured, he managed to drag himself back to the yard, up the steps, and back through the doggie door to his bed. “His injuries were so severe,” Diane says, “he lost one eye and had to be hospitalized for three days. I totally believe his intuitiveness, his love for me, and my constantly calling for him, gave him the strength to come back to me. Now we are together until death do us part.” PAGE 44 >>
“We patronize the animals for their incompleteness, for their tragic fate of having taken form so far below ourselves. And therein we err, and greatly err. For the animal shall not be measured by man. In a world older and more complete than ours, they are more finished and complete, gifted with extensions of the senses we have lost or never attained, living by voices we shall never hear. They are not brethren, they are not underlings; they are other Nations, caught with ourselves in the net of life and time, fellow prisoners of the splendour and travail of the earth.” ―— HENRY BESTON
42
February 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
Today’s Woman / February 2020
43
BRINGING PEACE AND LOVE
When Denise Zeydel and her husband John were married, they each had cats. ”After they had all passed we said there would be no more because it was just too hard to lose them,” Denise says. “Well, we went out to dinner one night, and I wanted to go into the pet store next door. There was a crazy calico in there that reached out and grabbed my handbag strap. They say that they pick you, and she did. I kept thinking about her and finally went in to adopt her. Next to her cage was a tuxedo cat that was blind in one eye and kind of mean, so I had to take her as well. So we had two. From there we kept rescuing or being ‘adopted’ by other cats until we had a total of eight. I believe cats bring peace to the people they choose to love.”
INTO MY ARMS
Sixteen years ago, Diane Wilson had been talking about getting a puppy for a long time. “One day my friend Dru and I had picked up her son from school, and when she took a different way home, I asked her where we were going,” Diane says. “Without hesitation she announced we were on the way to the Humane Society to get my puppy. I guess she was tired of me talking about it. “Lucille was the first dog I saw when I walked in. She jumped right into my arms the moment I met her and I was like, ‘This is the one.’ Dru forced me to look at all of the animals before making my decision. I did, but in my heart I already knew Lucille was going home with me. That first night I tried to put her in a crate by my bed, but the minute she whimpered, it was over. She’s slept with me every night since then.
44
February 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
m Denise and her husband, John, with son Chance, have had as many as eight cats.
“Her super power has always been acceptance,” Diane continues. “Whatever has occurred in my life, she has always gone right along with me. We’ve had a strong connection from that first moment we met. Every morning when I wake up, she sits with me while I do my meditation. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, she seems to know it’s important, so she waits. Then we begin our day together. “Every single day she takes me on a walk, and in the spring she’s especially interested in making sure the newly born baby bunnies in the yard are safe. More than once, she’s taken it upon herself to bring a nest of them inside where she can watch over them until the Mama bunny is back. In all the years we’ve been together, she’s never quit this ritual, and the Mama bunnies have always welcomed the babies back in the nest. This girl is the most caring being I’ve ever encountered,” Diane says.
Equality
Matters
MEET MARY NISHIMUTA
Mary Nishimuta, 41
Executive Director, Kentucky Democratic Party
T
his is definitely a different direction from what I started off as,” says Mary Nishimuta of her role implementing the strategic vision of the Kentucky Democratic Party. She was trained as an industrial engineer at Georgia Tech and worked as a software consultant specializing in supply-chain management. In 2008, she began engaging in grassroots activism as a volunteer and eventually became a delegate for Bernie Sanders at the National Democratic Convention. When the state party began its search for an executive director, Mary took a chance and threw her name in the ring. “It was the last day applications were due, it was just before the close of business, and I just said, ‘Shoot. I’m going to do it and take that leap of faith,’” she says.
FEMALE SUPPORT IN MALE-DOMINATED FIELDS As an entrepreneur with her own business, Mary had to change from reporting to others to being the one who was responsible for everything. “I remember going into a presentation to the president of Pepperidge Farms talking about a change in the incentive structure for account managers, which is a very touchy topic,” she says. “I had never been in that position before.” The director of logistics at Pepperidge Farms, Mary Haas, was a mentor and friend who said, “You know all this stuff. There’s no reason to second guess yourself.”
ENCOURAGING OTHER FEMALES
Mary strives to encourage women to take the leap into political leadership by becoming involved with Emerge Kentucky, an organization that helps train Democratic women to run for office. She hopes to demystify the political process so that women feel more comfortable with the idea of running for office in order to ensure they are adequately represented. “Until we have 50 percent representation of females, there is still a need for equality,” she says.
BY CARRIE VITTITOE PHOTO BY MELISSA DONALD
IN CELEBRATION OF THE 100TH ANNIVERSARY OF WOMEN’S SUFFRAGE, which granted women the right to vote, an anonymous supporter joins us in celebrating today’s Suffragettes, who continue to work for political and economic equality as well as social reforms.
PROMOTION
HOW THEY MET: “One of my friends studded out her male dog, and Luna was one of the puppies.” SPECIAL MOMENTS: “We love our morning snuggles together. Luna also loves bath bombs so she gets excited when she hears bath water running. I place my bomb on the edge of the tub and let her push it in with her nose. She loves to watch it fizz.” SPECIAL TALENTS: “She can do all of her commands with hand signals only. She also does an amazing sit pretty.”
PAIGE HOLLOWAY Essential Stylist and Cosmetologist at J Michael’s Spa and Salon
46
February 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
, Your Furry Friend
For Furry February, we created some special Valentine’s cards from these lovable pets. By Tiffany White Photos by Melissa Donald
w t about you is ho “What I love mos ing be r give me just fo many treats you and od you are at ear cute and how go NG RE ALSO AMAZI belly rubs. YOU A E. M FUN TOYS FOR AT PICKING OUT to hen I want to go You also know w ask.” the park before I
Love, Luna
Today’s Woman / February 2020
47
me for spoiling “Thank you e tting me hav rotten and le eats. for special tr french fries OU THE HUGS Y I LOVE ALL ERYDAY.” GIVE ME EV
Love, Ruby
HOW THEY MET: “We found her online. A lady had a Yorkie and a poodle that had puppies.” SPECIAL MOMENTS: “She snuggles with me in bed. Ruby also loves going through the McDonald’s drive thru and chasing tennis balls outside.” SPECIAL TALENTS: “She can give us a high-five and will kiss us when we ask her.”
DEANNA ABLES Global Operations Support Administration Assistant at UPS
48
February 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
Today’s Woman / February 2020
49
our long my bestie! I love e ar u yo lly he “S and sniff r letting me lead walks, thanks fo do ogs don’t get to d r he ot he (t around u and I my favorite, yo is l oo p e Th ). that . At night, game down pat got that catch heaven ching movies — in your bed, wat WE I PICKED YOU, D LA G I’M h. rt on ea ER.” TO BE TOGETH WERE MEANT
Love, Kobe
HOW THEY MET: “My mom died three years ago. One night, she came to me in a dream and told me to get a dog. I think she sent Kobe to me to help me in my time of grief. She was a dog lover, rescued animals, and I totally believe she sent Kobe to rescue my family in our time of grief.” SPECIAL TALENTS: “He responds to some sign language.”
SHELLY PENCE Corporate Internship Director at Holy Cross High School
50
February 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
Today’s Woman / February 2020
51
What I am Wearing By Tiffany White Photos by Erika Doll
A
isha Woodford doesn’t follow anyone’s fashion rules — except her own. “Believing that there is a set of rules you have to follow is going against the whole idea of what fashion is and celebrating who you are. I don’t believe in not wearing white after Labor Day,” she says. She applies this same philosophy to what she wears to the office. Aisha, who works in the external communications department at YUM Brands, monitors their social media channels for KFC, Pizza Hut, and Taco Bell to keep track of what consumers are saying about them. Although she works in a corporate environment, Aisha strives to create a colorful, exciting style based on self expression. Suits and blazers are the stars of Aisha’s work wardrobe. “You can dress blazers up or down which is ideal for me because I can go from the office to getting food and drinks with friends. I also love to wear sneakers with suits.”
Aisha’s lavender suit from Vince Camuto is one of her favorite outfits. “I really love pairing black with color, and I think it is a nice combination of having that pop of color without being too overbearing.”
AISHA WOODFORD, 30 Social Listening Analyst with YUM Brands
“My dad told me to only pick something you actually love and not something you like or you think you can match with something else. I also ask myself, ‘is this something I can wear multiple times?’”
52
February 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
Today’s Woman / February 2020
53
COOK UP SOME SUNSHINE Story and Photos by Madeleine Dee
I
like winter. I like snow. I like rain. I even like gray skies. But after a few overcast days, I could use a lift. This recipe is the perfect pick-me-up with its bright flavors and hearty ingredients. Best of all, it’s very easy. Enjoy. Note: Fresh fennel is probably my favorite vegetable in the whole world. It’s delicious, crisp, and perfect with lemon. Try it, even if you’re scared.
THE SEASONED CYNIC’S SUNSHINE SOUP Serves 4-8
INGREDIENTS: • 2 yellow onions, peeled and diced • 2 cups celery, diced • 1 lb. bag baby carrots, diced • 1 bulb fennel, fronds and bottom trimmed off, diced • 2 tbsp. olive oil • 1 tbsp. soy sauce • Salt and black pepper, to taste • Zest of 3 lemons • 1 (13.5) oz. can petite diced tomatoes • 1 tbsp. garlic powder • 2 quarts chicken stock (I love Kitchen Basics in the yellow box.) • 1/2 bag frozen cheese tortellini • About 1/4 cup basil pesto DIRECTIONS: 1. Sauté the onions in the olive oil with the soy sauce and a pinch of salt over medium-high heat until softened. Toss in the carrots, celery, fennel, and the zest of 1 lemon, then cook until softened, about 10 minutes, stirring frequently. 2. Stir in the tomatoes and garlic powder. Cook, stirring regularly, until the liquid reduces and stops bubbling. Then pour in the stock, a pinch of salt, a few cracks of black pepper, and the zest of a second lemon. Stir well. Bring your soup to a boil, then lower the heat to a simmer. Stir occasionally and allow to bubble away until the vegetables are tender to your liking. 3. Add the tortellini, pesto, and zest of the third lemon. Allow to cook for a couple of minutes, then turn off the heat. Taste your soup and adjust salt, pepper, and/or pesto as you see fit. Serve immediately. Enjoy. Tips: • If you taste your soup and think it needs an extra pop of flavor, try stirring in a tablespoon or two of balsamic vinegar. It will bring lovely color and a bright acidity to the table. • Try to make all the veggies the same size so they all take the same amount of time to cook. • Feel free to add some meatballs or cubes of chicken for some extra hearty goodness.
54
February 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
Madeleine Dee (AKA The Seasoned Cynic) is the resident chef of Logan Street Market and the owner of Fond, Fond Originals, and Bold Bird Productions. TheSeasonedCynic.com
Today’s Woman / February 2020
55
CELEBRATIONS Photos by Sean Hopson
N
ewlyweds Chelsea (Harris) and Kurron Carmichael exchanged their vows last October at the Muhammad Ali Center with views overlooking Louisville and a breathtaking sunset. They shared plenty of laughter during their first dance to With You by Tony Terry. As far as favorite memories go, saying “I Do.” was at the top of the list for Chelsea and Kurron. “Those two words we knew would link us together forever, and we were so excited to get to this point. Thatʼ’s all that mattered to us,” Chelsea says. Having been to receptions where lines took far too long or did not end up impressing, Chelsea made sure to treat her guests to a tasty meal. “We wanted to make sure everyone ate in a timely manner so we had two double-sided buffet lines,” she says. In the end, Chelsea was pleased with how her big day went. “Everything went perfect for us,” she says. THE DETAILS Color Palette Navy and Champagne/Gold Location of Ceremony and Reception Muhammad Ali Center Photographer Sean Hopson Videographer Quenest Harrington Planner Moments2Remember Floral Design Nanz & Kraft Dress Glitz Nashville Bridesmaids Dresses JJ’s House Tuxes Sam Meyers Catering/Food and Drinks Jarfis Catering Cake Heitzman Traditional Bakery Music DJ OutHere Entertainment Rings Shane Co. Makeup Ariel Moore Hair Barbiez Beauty Trap Rehearsal Dinner Marketplace Restaurant Theatre Square Honeymoon Cancun (Grand Princess Resorts)
56
February 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
Today’s Woman / February 2020
57