Wings of Hope By Tonilyn Hornung Photos: Melissa Donald Hair: Krista Nenni, Ninety Seven Hair Studio Makeup: Brooke Spurgeon, Vanity Crew
Cancer. When that word stands alone it conjures up visions of uneasiness and anxiety. For those who have experienced its effects, it can bring up deep feelings of fear, sadness, or isolation.
These four women, however, have sought to redefine what cancer means. When faced with their own cancer diagnoses, these women reached through the darkness of the word “cancer” to find healing and a more constructive path for themselves. To define their journeys they’ve chosen new words that hold a curative power more motivating than they ever imagined — “support,” “appreciation,” “gratitude,” and “advocacy.”
Aquia Ware3 Aquia Ware had noticed some abnormalities in her body and decided to discuss these with her doctor. After initial testing, at 29 years old and while pregnant, she was diagnosed with small cell carcinoma of the cervix. “I had a four-centimeter tumor on my cervix, and they were concerned because it was growing rapidly,” Aquia says. Due to Aquia’s aggressive form of cancer, her medical care began while she was still carrying her baby and continued after her little one was born. She underwent chemotherapy, followed up by radiation treatments, but never once stopped being the mother her two-and-a-half-year-old page 3 >>
2
Cancer Supplement 2020
<< page 2
Emerging from the Darkness of Cancer and Flying into the Light of Hope
Date of Diagnosis: June 2014 Age Diagnosed: 29 (now 35) Type of Cancer: Small Cell Carcinoma of the Cervix
and newborn needed. It was while juggling all of the responsibilities that medication and motherhood threw at her that she learned the importance of a positive outlook — because at first, she chose the opposite. “I learned how low my mindset can actually go, because I felt like I was going to go to a dark place,” Aquia says. Seeing that dark place with all its twists and turns gave her the strength to reach for the light. “That bottom point helped me realize that I’m not the only person who’s ever been through this. And I’m not the only person who has been through this and has survived.” This was the boost Aquia needed to find her own inner positivity. She felt this outlook was a key component in supporting her through her cancer care. “I think that your mindset has a direct correlation on how you get through.” Shifting her perception from the negative to positive also created room for her to see great support in the people closest to her — people like her husband. Aquia says he was constantly reminding her of her own inner strength. His encouragement gave her a new appreciation for their family and marriage. “I definitely have an understanding of what it truly means to have a marriage through sickness and health,” she says. Aquia is now 35 years old and in remission. Listening to her body and then trusting her inner wisdom has helped Aquia make it through. Knowledge is power, and it’s this insight that she wants to share with those facing their own cancer diagnosis. “Just because you are diagnosed with cancer doesn’t mean you have been granted a death sentence. There will be obstacles to overcome, but you can come out a survivor.” AQUIA WARE IS WEARING: Dress, $42, available at Besosandcompany.com.
Today’s Woman / Cancer Supplement 2020
3
3
Wendy Hampton It was a surprise to Wendy Hampton when her medical chart read “cancer.” Her doctor assumed a fibroid tumor was to blame for the medical issues Wendy was experiencing and said its removal “shouldn’t be a big deal.” But after testing was done, it was found to be cancerous. At 44 years old, Wendy was diagnosed with high grade endometrial stromal sarcoma, a rare form of cancer. “It woke me up,” Wendy says of her diagnosis. page 6 >>
Date of Diagnosis: October 2019 Age Diagnosed: 44 (now 45) Type of Cancer: High Grade Endometrial Stromal Sarcoma
4
Cancer Supplement 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
Todayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Woman / Cancer Supplement 2020
5
Wendy Hampton
<< page 4
For over 19 years, Wendy’s focus had been on her role as a mother. Her two daughters were very active, and their schedule was always packed full which, of course, meant Wendy’s was as well. Keeping up with her kids and going back to work kept Wendy living a busy and overplanned existence, “I kind of floated through life. I lived on the schedule and didn’t have to think,” Wendy says, “Getting cancer completely changed that.” Realizing she wanted to live her best life in the here and now, Wendy made a conscious choice to change. “I probably missed a lot of moments because I was so busy and stuck in my head,” Wendy says. When she started chemotherapy treatments, she stopped her habit of hurrying and began a new one. “I’m learning to embrace each day. I don’t allow it to pass me by without being able to see it and feel it.” Learning to live in gratitude wasn’t always a cure for down and tired times. Wendy says her treatments took a toll on her physically. For anyone else going through this process, she encour-
ages them to reach out to friends or family for help. “On certain days, you have to rest. So you have to let people help you,” Wendy says. Living in the little moments also allowed Wendy to connect on a deeper level to those around her. “I’m a better everything…a better friend and a better mother.” One way her friendships have been bolstered is through cancer support groups. “It’s nice to hear from other people who have gone through what you’ve gone through.” Wendy found organizations she enjoyed through Facebook and through the Norton Cancer Institute, and she encourages others in her position to do the same. After completing her medical protocol five months ago, Wendy is attending regular follow-up appointments and scans. “My comeback is going to be stronger than my setback. I have cancer, but cancer does not have me,” she says. So it won’t be at all a surprise when her chart officially reads “cancer-free.” WENDY HAMPTON IS WEARING: Blouse, $24, available at Besosandcompany.com.
“PATIENTS ARE FACED WITH GOING TO TREATMENT and visits without their loved ones, who are providing needed support. Take photos/videos and document your journey at the cancer center to share with your family support system. I used Caringbridge.com to document my journey for family and friends. Write about your experiences and talk to other patients who might be sitting near you. This can be therapeutic and healing. Ask your doctor to include your spouse or caregiver in any telehealth opportunities so they feel included in your care.”
Caroline Johnson Founder of Twisted Pink and 7-year cancer survivor
6
Cancer Supplement 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
3
Danielle Cory Date of Diagnosis: May 2018 Age Diagnosed: 23 (now 25) Type of Cancer: Stage 3 Breast Cancer
DANIELLE CORY IS WEARING: Dress, $18 available at Versona located at the Paddock Shops, shopversona.com.
Cancer can take hold at any age. This is why at 23 years old, Danielle Cory phoned her OB-GYN’s office to say, “I want a mammogram.” Initially her doctor didn’t feel one was necessary, but the lump in her breast told Danielle otherwise. She “pushed harder” and an ultrasound was scheduled. After that ultrasound, and several more tests, Danielle was right to have advocated for herself. She was diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer. “I had a lump in my right breast that had been growing for quite some time,” Danielle says. At first, she went to a nurse practitioner and talked to her about it. “I told her my family’s history of cancer, but I guess she didn’t put two and two together.” The nurse practitioner dismissed it as pulled muscle. After waiting 6 months, Danielle could ignore the growing lump no longer. That’s when she called her OB-GYN. This experience is why Danielle no longer brushes off the truth her body tells her. “You know your body better than any doctor,” Danielle says. “I think my biggest take-away has been learning to be my own advocate.” Even if it’s as subtle as being more tired, Danielle says she takes note and makes sure her doctor hears her experience. “When there’s something going wrong, you have an intuition because you’re so intune with yourself,” Danielle says. The satisfaction of learning to support her own health became a lesson while undergoing cancer treatments. During the times when she needs a little extra support, her family is there “working in the background.” But this wasn’t her only back-up system. In 2018, Danielle became a member of Gilda’s Club. Named after famed comedienne Gilda Radner, Gilda’s Club seeks to “ensure those impacted by cancer are empowered by knowledge, strengthened by action, and sustained by community.” Danielle says of the group, “It’s not only the emotional support. There’s been a lot of helpful information that’s come out of it.” She joined Gilda’s Club at the end of her treatment but found such strength in its members she wished she’d joined earlier. “I think if people joined right when they were diagnosed, they could have better emotional outcomes. I’d 100% recommended it to anyone.” Two years out from her original diagnosis, Danielle doesn’t have any evidence of the disease. She’s continuing to stay in-tune with her health and take advantage of every moment. As Danielle says, “I really just appreciate what I have.”
8
Cancer Supplement 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
Todayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Woman / Cancer Supplement 2020
9
Date of Diagnosis: February 2017 Age Diagnosed: 51 (now 54) Type Of Cancer: Breast Cancer Stage 0 Kamala King is wearing: Dress, $38, available at Besosandcompany.com.
3Kamala King It was a busy day at work when 51-year-old Kamala King answered the phone from a number she didn’t recognize. She had a feeling it might be her mammogram results. When the voice on the other end of the phone asked, “Are you sitting down?” her suspicions were confirmed. Kamala was diagnosed with Stage 0 breast cancer. After speaking with her doctors and doing some cancer research of her own, Kamala settled on a plan of action that best suited her needs. “I met with several surgeons and decided to do a single mastectomy and a TRAM flap surgery,” she says. Breastcancer.org explains this type of surgery to be when “an incision is made along your bikini line and an oval section of skin, fat, blood vessels, and muscle is taken from the lower half of your belly, moved up to your chest, and formed into a breast shape.” page 12 >>
10
Cancer Supplement 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
Todayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Woman / Cancer Supplement 2020
11
Kamala King
<< page 10
Kamala’s procedure was a success. Her surgery, in conjunction with taking a prescribed chemotherapy medication, is keeping Kamala healthy. When she began setting up her initial strategy for combating her diagnosis, she wondered what else she might need. “I remember walking in the park and I said, ‘OK, God, what is it that I need to do because I’m walking this journey now,’” Kamala says. After posing that question in the park, the answers began to fill her mind and heart, and one answer appeared to her as a color — pink. The urgent need to be of service to others inspired her and a fellow cancer survivor to hold their very first Pink Out two years ago at their church. “Everybody wears pink, and we have [people from] organizations come and speak,” Kamala says. Speakers from nearby churches,
combined with different local organizations, join together one day in October to discuss different coping tools and offer encouragement to those touched by cancer. Due to social distancing practices, this year’s Pink Out won’t be held in person, but Kamala’s commitment to the event hasn’t faltered. “We’re still going to have our Pink Out, we’re just going to have it on Zoom.” From that very first phone call three years ago, Kamala has never once taken her diagnosis sitting down. Sharing her experience and connecting with others going through their own cancer journey has been integral in helping her find peace. “In the end, my journey was there to help other people,” Kamala says. “So that’s what I’ve been doing.”
“THERE ARE A NUMBER OF PRODUCTS that relate to the particular treatment and side effects the person is experiencing. Things like a soft light fleece blanket can be comforting for many. If it’s a woman who’s lost her hair during chemotherapy, Hope Scarves offers scarves that come with a story of another survivor, which gives hope and comfort.”
Judy Kasey Houlette Executive Director, Friend for Life Cancer Support Network
12
Cancer Supplement 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
Promotion by Tonilyn Hornung Photo by Melissa Donald
M
ary Nan Mallory’s cancer journey brought her to The Wig Shoppe in Louisville, where she discovered that wigs come in all shapes and sizes — especially her own. Mary Nan says of her wigs, “I have magic hair. I never have a bad hair day.”
What was it like going to get a wig for the first time? “When you go to The Wig Shoppe, you see wigs are their passion. I didn’t want my hair to be a distraction once it began to fully fall out from my chemotherapy treatments. I wanted something that would be a seamless transition. I wanted to look the same for myself and for my family. Then when I was in the shop, and they put a wig on my head…it looked like me! I was shocked it could look like my real hair! Later that night, I went to dinner with my husband wearing the wig and he didn’t even notice.”
Did you shop for a wig before the expected hair loss? “It was suggested to me to go before my hair completely fell out in order to match my hair color and style. Once your hair is already falling out it can be upsetting. As soon as you find out your diagnosis, and you decide you’d like a wig, I’d go and investigate and make an appointment. It gives you security.”
How did you feel during your wig appointment? “The first time I went there, it was pretty emotional. As we discussed different styles, I felt welcomed and comfortable because at The Wig Shoppe they know all the secrets. They know what you’re going through, so they can help you anticipate what you need.”
Would you recommend the experience to others with cancer and why? The Wig Shoppe Owner Kelsey Spaulding, right (pictured with co-owner Candy Slade), says consultations and appointments are free of charge. “We always want women to know it’s very laid-back and no pressure. If you find a wig, great. We’re here to show you how to put it on and get it fitted and trimmed. If you decide you don’t want a wig, that’s great, too,” she says.
1253 S. Hurstbourne Pkwy Louisville, KY 40222
(502) 412-8810 TheWigShoppe.com
“Yes, I want people to understand that there’s hope. You’ll need one or two wigs during your chemotherapy treatments until your hair comes back. I’ve been to other shops, and a lot of times they’re not as focused on cancer related hair loss as they are here. The Wig Shoppe has a great selection and incredible customer service.”
Today’s Woman / Cancer Supplement 2020
13
What a CHANGE A cancer survivor gets to try some wigs. Which would you choose?
Rickelle Nelson, 50, was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2019 but is now cancer-free. For this shoot, she modeled three wig styles from The Wig Shoppe and was given this wig as a gift.
By Tiffany White Photos: Melissa Donald Makeup: Carrie Lentz
B
usinesses like The Wig Shoppe work with clients to determine what type of style fits them best and then customize the wig to suit the look the client wants. â&#x20AC;&#x153;A lot of women believe their hair is what makes them feminine, but it is so much deeper than that. A wig can really help you feel more like yourself. It gives you a sense of normalcy,â&#x20AC;? Kelsey says. When searching for a wig, Kelsey suggests buying the wig before you lose your hair, because it allows the consultant to give you feedback based on your existing hairstyle. Also, she says bringing a spouse or friend, who will give you an honest opinion, is helpful during the process. Prices vary based on whether clients want a synthetic or human hair wig and start at $130.
RICKELLE IS WEARING: Long red synthetic wig, $325 available at The Wig Shoppe, 502.412.8810. Sweater, $99; jeans, $109; scarf, $59.50 available at Talbots, 502.423.9445. page 18 >>
16
Cancer Supplement 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
<< page 16
What a CHANGE
RICKELLE IS WEARING: Short red synthetic wig, $310 available at The Wig Shoppe.
Hair loss is common for cancer patients who are going through chemotherapy, and it is often a disheartening experience, but Kelsey Spaulding, co-owner of The Wig Shoppe, is helping women regain their self confidence.
18
Cancer Supplement 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
RICKELLE IS WEARING: Blonde human hair wig, $2100, available at The Wig Shoppe. Knit top, $79.50; necklace, $89.50 available at Talbots.
Todayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Woman / Cancer Supplement 2020
19
Face Cancer with COURAGE Advice for how you can live a happy and healthy life in spite of cancer Compiled by Tiffany White
“KNOW THE DETAILS OF YOUR CANCER DIAGNOSIS. Find out the name of the cancer, its size and location, where it started. Know if it has spread and if lymph nodes are involved. Learn whether it's viewed as a slow-growing cancer or an aggressive one. Find out your options for treatments before you decide on surgery. Get a second opinion and ask as many questions as needed.”
“EVERYONE'S JOURNEY IS DIFFERENT, I chose to have a double mastectomy with immediate reconstruction. Pillows under my arms were the best thing ever! As soon as you are diagnosed, build a support system that includes family, friends, and even online support groups. Ask for help and accept it when offered. Get some books together that you may want to read, or if you like to color, get some adult coloring books. Get plenty of rest.”
“IF YOUR FRIEND HAS BEEN DIAGNOSED with cancer and is going through surgery, long cycles of radiation, or debilitating chemo, offer to do chores or cook for them. If they are waiting for a treatment plan, gift cards to restaurants are good. If they are like me and have been going through this for years, make a donation to the charity that is working the hardest for their cancer.”
Gina Kaufman Robinson 11-year survivor
Nevada Eskridge 1-year survivor
Alana Auslander-Price 8-year survivor
“Immunotherapy is the most exciting example of less toxicity and better efficacy in cancer therapy today. This class of drugs is able to harness your body’s natural immune system to treat multiple types of cancers. In some cases, it has taken typically incurable disease and turned it into a chronic illness with little treatment-related side effects. Therefore, patients are living longer and have better quality of lives due to these drugs.”
Beth Riley MD, FACP (Fellow of American College of Physicians)
Deputy Director of Health Affairs of James Graham Brown Cancer Center/ UofL Health
“WHILE IN TREATMENT, TAKE NOTES every day on how you’re feeling. Make note of any side effects you may be feeling. It helps when you go to the doctor a week later for your checkup. Plus log your medication... you can forget if you have taken it. Chemo fog is a real thing.”
Cindy Gregory 2-year survivor
“I WISH THAT I HAD BEEN EMPOWERED earlier in life to advocate for myself with healthcare providers. I had a bump on my forehead for three and a half years that doctor after doctor dismissed as a cyst and the whole time I felt in my gut that it was more. But, you’re supposed to trust doctors when they tell you your worry is unfounded. I forced myself to suppress those feelings and that gave my tumor almost four years to grow. I’m thankful that it was a slow growing sarcoma, unlike many in that family of cancers. If it had not been, I might not be here today. So, if you feel like something is wrong, or if you feel like something is not working for your body, it is your right to say so and to keep saying so until someone agrees to investigate to find out for sure.”
Lori Magnum 5-year survivor 20
Cancer Supplement 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
“BE SELFISH. You need to put yourself first. Let people spoil you. You need time to heal. Do not try and do it all by yourself. Do not let anyone make you feel guilty because you cannot be there for them at this time. There will come again a time when you can do for yourself and others but now you come first.”
Bonnie Lichtefeld 31-year survivor
Todayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Woman / Cancer Supplement 2020
21