Around Brussels in 30 Days #2

Brussels 30 days Around

in

September 2011 Issue #2

18 and above only. Contains some rude words.

BETTER BUY DESIGN!

Ringing Those School Belles

Yes, yes. Alright. Well spotted. So the whole ‘back to work’ and ‘back to university’ thing forms this month’s excuse to put pretty girls on the front page. Well, we make no apologies for it - check out our mini student leisure guide on Page 8.

Run For Fun

Grab your trainers and too-tight shorts as, on Sunday 2 October, it’s the Brussels Marathon and Half Marathon - and if you want to take part, you’ll have to be quick off the mark, as you now have only until 18 September to register, which you can do online.

The rest of us, of course, can (and will, in our case) simply stand back and let everyone else make the effort. Pass the beer - it’s thirsty work.

The main run will begin at 9pm from Parc du Cinquantenaire, finishing at Grand’Place and, so says www.runabroad.com, it’s one of the ‘101 races to run before you die’.

Hmm. It sounds exactly like a way of speeding up that particular process...

The day’s events will include mini-marathons and races for the kids. Run, Forest, run! www.brusselsmarathon.be

THE Saturday and Sunday of 24-25 September hosts Designers Weekend, run as part of ‘Design September’ - an annual event that shows off international brands available in Belgium, via showrooms and top shops.

BELGIUM’S BEST Organisers say there’ll be more than 60 cultural events on the go and, while it unashamedly champions key Belgian players, it’s also open to the design stars of the wider world.

Continued on Page 3

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Casino’s Week of Music is No Gamble for the Crowds

By Tony Mallett

Pick of the City’s Gigs

Continued from Page 1 To the uninitiated - otherwise known as ‘us’ - Designers Weekend is ‘a tour intended for professionals and major fans of design.’

(See Tippler column towards the back of this edition for further insight.)

One of the objectives is to bring together factory agents, retailers and professional customers. ‘Lots of cash’, in other words.

But it will also ‘give a wider public’ (that’s better) the opportunity to find out about the work of designers, architects and artistic directors - and has been doing exactly that since 1982.

That’s when Antoine Van Craen, Jean-Louis La Haye and Paul Holemans founded the association, with the idea of taking a ‘sort of inventory of the new things exhibited in the

Milan showroom’ and with a broader view of creating cooperation between those people involved in importing.

Yep - it was a brilliant idea for a sales show.

And, as such, it quickly became a popular event. So, while the non-profit asbl surely is what it says on the tin, there’s clearly always

been a massive commercial spin to the whole gig and, without a doubt, there still is.

(We only emphasise this as, in these tough times, fancy stuff isn’t cheap - and you might want to be queueing for cakes instead.)

Anyway, a few years ago, the children of the

respective founders, namely Elise Van Craen and Bernard La Haye, took over the running of the event. A ‘grand design’, perhaps?

The descendants of the original founders have come up with a new idea for 2011: for the first time, each host of Designers Weekend has been asked to honour a designer, an architect or artistic director, selected according to the sensitivities specific to each brand.

The one that they sell, as it turns out.

‘This invited guest’, it says here, ‘will work on the staging, the choice of items exhibited, the decoration of showcase windows and/or any other creative project leading to a dialogue between the new features of the brand and its own universe.’ No, really. It does say that.

OK. We’ve had a bit of fun but, to be fair, if you’ve got the dosh - go out and go posh. www.designseptember.be

Surprisingly, as we went to press, there were still some spaces left for Brian Wilson’s concert at the Ancienne Belgique on 22 September. This is actually quite handy, as we forgot to get our own tickets to see the former Beach Boy do his ‘classical’ rendition.

It’s probably better to move swiftly at this stage, online at www.abconcerts.be.

Tickets have already all gone for The Specials (this month), New Order and Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds (in November and December), so tough luck.

Coming up soon, though, is folk singer and songwriter Christy Moore’s gig with Declan Sinnott. That’s at the same venue on 7 October, with tickets still available at the time of our own deadline.

A few days later, on 10 October, the AB plays host to the generally superb Steve Earle & The Dukes (and Duchesses) Feat.

Allison Moorer. Epic.

In one of the smaller venues, you might want to catch Bob Christopher (23 September) and the truly mental Narcotic Daffodils (1 October), both at Churchill’s, the English-style bar and venue close to the Monnaie Theatre.

Lovers of chanson can grab the final tix to ‘Nuits du Soir 2011’ at La Botanique, with Jacques Duvall & Daan, Recorders, Romano Nervoso and more. That’s on 22 September.

Go to www.botanique.be - but be quick.

It may well be worth getting your tickets booked early for what downtown entertainment complex Viage is somewhat loftily calling ‘Brussels Music Week’.

Whatever the name, this celebration of contemporary Belgian sounds plus some international oldies-but-goldies should certainly set audiences rocking away, and tickets for gigs such as Level 42 and Paul Anka ae expected to start to shift quickly.

Fleur & the Mood Swings will kick things off on Thursday 27 October. Fleur Brusselmans, who previously performed in musicals such as Grease, now has her own party band, influenced by artists such as Prince, Chaka Khan, James Brown and other funk legends.

Friday 28 October will see Latin Club feat. Zule Max take to the stage. Zulema Hechavarria Blanco, known in certain circles for her collaborations with Zap Mama, El Tattoo del Tigre, Raymond Van Het Groenewoud and (gasp!) Helmut Lotti, promises a spicy Cuban salsa party. It’s an all-woman band so expect things to get hot up there.

Next, on Saturday 29, it’s the turn of Britain’s Level 42. Slap-happy bassist Mark King (right) and the boys have been on the go for three decades now, so here’s a chance to immerse yourself in the sounds of the eighties with what is still, without doubt, a world-class band. They play in Ostend too, just in case you miss out here.

Lino Corsetti and Sanja Maas will be giving it loads on Sunday 30 October.

Singer and pianist Corsetti has a wide repertoire, covering anything from sweet crooner numbers to swinging pop hits.

Brussels vocalist Sanja Maas, meanwhile, adds a beautiful jazz voice to the mix.

Even our old mate Steve Jones gets a look in on Halloween (Monday 31 October), when he plays an intimate acoustic gig in the bar. It should be an especially good one as most of us have the next day off.

The highlight of the week, say the organisers, will ‘undoubtedly be’ Paul Anka, playing on 1 November.

The singer/songwriter has ben around forever and this is his only Belgian concert of 2011. His repertoire of great songs is too long to list here but there’s no doubt that Anka is something of a legend - to those old enough to remember him. www.viage.be

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New in the Capital of Europe?

Then be ‘Guided’ by us...

Wallpaper City Guide Brussels: €8.95 The magazine Wallpaper is universally and rightly renowned for being visually stunning and their city guides are no exception. The illustrations, while small, are very good and chosen with care and panache.

Also, everything you would expect content-wise is in here – mainly the obvious places to visit, the obvious bars and restaurants, the obvious shops, the obvious buildings and the obvious general backgrounders.

Yes, it’s all a bit, um, obvious but represents a nicely sectioned, pocket-sized introduction to the city for someone on a weekend or week-long visit. It’s not expensive, either, so it makes sense to have

it lying around the house for mates or family when they pop in to see you.

In the end though, put bluntly, if you’ve been here for a while this guide will tell you very little that you didn’t know already.

But, to be fair, that’s not its primary purpose. If you really want to dive under the covers of the city you now call ‘home’, try the next book, below.

Secret Brussels:

By Nicolas van Beek and Natalie Capart - €16.90 Now we’re talking! This extensive, but again pocket-sized, guide does (pretty much) what it says on the tin. It’s aimed directly and, we would assume, successfully at the reader

who has seen all the rest of the guides, ticked all the boxes, tried all the beers – in essence done the full on-the-surface tour of the Belgian capital.

From buildings off-the-beaten-track, to where to find the only section of our underground river that’s visible in the city, to a museum dedicated only to plastic, to many less well-known statues, hidden parks and so much more besides, this is a superb tool.

It’s perfect for helping – and encouraging - residents to use their spare weekends and evenings to find and enjoy parts of Brussels that they may have walked close to but never knew existed.

This book is full of gems and has clearly been created with intelligence and love.

In essence, it’s brilliant.

Snowdrops: A.D. Miller - €10.50 Not about Brussels. It’s a novel about Moscow - described in the blurb as ‘a riveting psychological drama.’ Well, it isn’t.

The snowdrops of the title are, in Moscow, corpses that emerge after the snow melts - suggesting that they are arguably innocent, most probably forgotten and certainly unwitting victims.

The narrator is none of the above.

He’s a not-so-niave lawyer who chooses to believe that the Russian girl who eventually takes him, literally, for a ride actually loves him. He’s been warned by his cynical mate but still sets about doing the Wildean ‘I can resist anything except temptation’ lark.

Basically, you just don’t believe that, even in the Moscow frost, anyone could be so numb.

On the upside, it’s an under-the-slush look into the ubiquitous corruption that turns Moscow (and every innocent in the city) over.

But, in the end, it just leaves you cold. www.sterlingbooks.be

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Fair’s Fair for Accessible Art Off the Wall:

Coming up deceptively fast between 28-30 October, is the Brussels Accessible Art Fair.

The event will feature more than 50 emerging and established artists - albeit in one of the city’s less, erm, ‘accessible’ hotels, the posh Conrad on Avenue Louise.

During this edition, the organisers will be hosting a beautiful photographic exhibition in collaboration with the European Commission (DG Health and Consumers, to be precise), aimed at raising

awareness of the veterinary profession and the incredible stories behind the artwork.

The photographs have been chosen via an international competition, as part of World Veterinary Year.

Over a two-month entry period, in excess of 2,500 submissions were received globally - from Bangalore to Boston, Paris to Perth.

Vets? Who says the art world isn’t dog eat dog? But we digress...

Starting in October, the organisers are embracing the concept of the Art

Meeting & Greeting Wondering what to do with family and friends when they come over to visit? Worry-eth not.

Because this is a cracking concept.

Brussels Greeters Network provides encounters with local residents to discover Brussels through the eyes of someone who lives in and knows the city.

Greeters are made up of around 80 volunteers who love Brussels and want to share their passion and knowledge with newcomers.

A meeting with a Brussels Greeter (up to six people) is a free-of-charge opportunity to get a unique and personal insight into the city.

These volunteers may take visitors to unusual and often hidden spots that are off the tourist trail, such as favourite streets, parks, bars and many more places.

All in all, not a bad idea.

And there’s no reason why residents shouldn’t take advantage of this chance to discover the city from a personal viewpoint.

In fact, we think we will, too.

Brussels Greeters www.brussels.greeters.be

Boutique, which promises a more intimate atmosphere than in the past, with hand-picked artwork and the opportunity to directly interact with the artists to discuss these totally original works.

If the last edition was anything to go by, the AAF represents a cool couple of hours browsing, mingling and, maybe, buying something affordable.

Jeff’s photocall has Brussels bouncing

www.accessibleartfair.com

Every FRIDAY, more and more families in BRUSSELS are getting home deliveries of their favourite BRITISH products at exceptional prices.

They order the old food classics like Shreddies, Marmite and PG Tips. And new ideas from great suppliers in Dorset for jams, chutneys and biscuits.

Not forgetting classic English beers and Devon cider.

And fresh bacon, sausages and cheese.

And toothpaste and shampoo for the bathroom.

And washing powder.

Order before midnight every Wednesday for delivery two days later on Friday.

TheInternetGrocer.com

www.

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All-Time Classic Cinema: Now the End is in Sight...

As summer comes to an end (gee, wasn’t it great?), Picturenose’s James Drew and Colin Moors offer their definitive top-five favourite finales of all time.

James’s Top Five Endings

3. Casablanca (1942) Dir. Michael Curtiz You must remember this... Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart), the owner of Rick’s Café Américain, is a bitter US expat in Casablanca in early December 1941. To his ‘mixed’ clientele, Rick claims to be neutral in all matters, that is, until the reason for Rick’s bitterness comes back into his life, namely his Norwegian former lover Ilsa Lund (Ingrid Bergman), who walks into his establishment and asks the house pianist Sam (Dooley Wilson) to play As Time Goes By...and the rest, as they say is history. You don’t have a heart beating if you don’t cry at Rick’s final sacrifice for the woman he loves more than life itself.

“Here’s looking at you, kid.” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfxJCdBFuLk 2. The Usual Suspects (1995) Dir. Bryan Singer Perhaps the best crime movie of all time finishes with maybe the best ending ever, one that few, if any, saw coming – poor, put-upon cripple Verbal Quint (Kevin Spacey) is among the very few survivors of a drug heist on a boat that went terribly wrong, and US Customs ‘tec Dave Kujan (Chazz Palminteri) wants to find out what went down, but most of all, he wants to be convinced that career criminal Dean Keaton (Gabriel Byrne) is dead. Unfortunately, he’s about to enter the orbit of Keyser Soze, a mythical crime lord who may just be the Devil himself, as Verbal tells his tale. “And like that...he’s gone.”

just a bit ahead of time. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ gekaEzqj5g 4. Brighton Rock (1947) Dir. John Boulting Even though the UK censors insisted on a softening of the gut-wrenching dénouement to Graham Greene’s classic tale of Faustian evil, Christian good and redemption, there’s still a lot to be said for making you choose your own ending. Pregnant, bereft and at her lowest ebb, unwitting gangster’s moll Rose (Carol Marsh) plays the recording made by her dead husband. He was Pinkie (Richard Attenborough), a gang leader, who married her to keep her off the scent of a murder he ordered. She wants to hear him say “I love you” one last time. As she hears these words of solace, the camera pans to a crucifix on the wall, signifying Pinkie’s redemption.

Or not. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FezBxUfWWXo 3. Midnight Cowboy (1969) Dir. John Schlesinger Probably as well known for the title track (Everybody’s Talkin’) as the story, Midnight Cowboy is a simple tale of what happens when a small-town boy (Joe Buck, played by Jon Voight) thinks he can go to the bright lights of the big city and make his fortune on looks alone.

Except it isn’t, not really. The story is really about what happens when that small town boy fails repeatedly and is forced to hook up with a streetwise yet sickly survivor, Ratso Rizzo (Dustin Hoffman), in order to survive. Their friendship is uncomfortable at times – neither tolerant nor loving, but they both seem to have what it takes to stop New York swallowing them whole. They plan one day to escape the city and move to Florida in the hope of a better life, but tragedy is just a bus ride away – and it’s a testament to the strength of the characters that you care so much about what happens to them. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S24yQQMuCLk

5. Some Like It Hot (1959) Dir. Billy Wilder Thought that I would start with a classic ‘funny’ ending, before I move into somewhat darker territory with most of the rest of my list; seriously, though, is this not the wittiest last line in movie history?

And it ends one of the most dazzlingly witty films of all time, too, in which two loser jazz musicians (Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon) unwittingly witness the St Valentine’s Day massacre and flee in drag to Miami, where they meet up with ravishing singer Sugar Kane (Marilyn Monroe) and her all-girl jazz band. A classic treat, and camp millionaire Osgood Fielding III (Joe E. Brown) adamantly refusing to take no for an answer from Lemmon is just the cherry on the cake. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYUfPTeE0DM 4. Don’t Look Now (1973) Dir. Nicolas Roeg A sublimely frightening meditation on grief, relationships and the beyond, with Laura Baxter (Julie Christie) and her husband John (Donald Sutherland) spending time in a gloriously beautiful (and creepy) out-of-season Venice, there to forget the death by drowning of their little daughter. But two elderly sisters, one of whom is blind and apparently psychic, tell them that their daughter is still very much with them and, sure enough, there is a diminutive figure dressed in a little red coat wandering the streets. John needs to know more. Oh. My. God. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-J9z5cJEGc

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBrwUGdbODA&playnext=1&lis t=PL921902B06B618BF0 And James’s winner is: 1. Citizen Kane (1941) Dir. Orson Welles Sorry to go all film-school on you, but I genuinely do believe this to be the finest denouement ever committed to film – a newsreel reporter, in trying to solve the mystery as to what newspaper magnate Charles Foster Kane (Orson Welles) may have meant by his dying word, “Rosebud”, discovers, as do we, the story of one man’s life, and how it moved from social idealism into the pursuit of power at any cost. And, does he find out what ‘Rosebud’ means? No. But we do...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyJAytr1ebc Colin’s Top Five Endings 5. Trading Places (1983) Dir. John Landis Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) is a likeable rogue, just for a change, in this film about greed and morality. It’s not going to win any philosophy prizes but it is a lot of fun, and is a candidate for ‘Best Christmas Feel-Good Movie of All Time’. Two wealthy brokers (the Mortimers – Don Ameche and Ralph Bellamy) bet one dollar that one of them can’t take a homeless bum, strategically shave and wash him, and turn him into a better stock-exchange trader than their current golden boy, Louis Winthorpe III (Dan Aykroyd). After the rise of Valentine and the fall of Winthorpe, the two get wind of the bet and plan their revenge. Aided and abetted by the ‘hookerwith-the-heart-of-gold’ Ophelia (Jamie Lee Curtis), the comeuppance of the Mortimers is swift, complete and makes you want to stand on your seat and whoop. Sorry if I spoiled the ending there,

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2. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1975) Dir. Milos Forman Sometimes, you sit and wonder just why a film won an Oscar (or five). In this case, though, you could be forgiven for thinking that there could be no accolade high enough for a film that has touched and moved so many people. When Randle Patrick McMurphy (Jack

This Month’s Pick of the Flicks Ok, well...summer is all-but behind us and we’re at that in-between point, as we await the pre-Christmas blockbusters.

But here are three current movies that Bxlin30Days feels (fairly) worthy of mention: One Day, based on the brilliant novel of the same name and screen-written by its author, David Nicholls, frankly disappoints by being only so-so. Given that Nicholls was handling his own creation, fans of the book had a right to expect much more. Anyway...this rom-com charts the history of two friends, who end up in bed during their graduation, using a St. Swithin’s Day setting each year for twenty years. The whole ‘will-they, won’t-they’ tale is covered here but the characters are one-dimensional.

Beginners, meanwhile, casts Ewan McGregor and Christopher Plummer as straight son and gay, dead father. Plummer, already dead at the opening, preoccupies his son’s mind as the latter sets about looking for love himself. Take hankies, just in case...

Finally, Cowboys and Aliens rides around the bizarre idea of one gunslinger – who’s lost his memory and is initially rejected by the townsfolk of Absolution – taking on an alien invasion in late-19th century New Mexico. ‘Our Hero’ starts to remember his past, as well as a secret that might give the town a chance...

It’s been roundly slammed but, to be wildly optimistic, might just be a fun way of passing a couple of desperate hours.

Selected listings at www.ugc.be

Nicholson) pleads insanity to assault charges hoping for an easy sentence in a psychiatric hospital, he gets not only his wish but a lot more into the bargain. An allegorical story of captivity, freedom, oppression and rebellion, this is a film that will captivate, surprise and uplift you, often all at once. If you don’t find the ending heart-breaking – not just for the main character, but for all the downtrodden, beaten and abused – check your pulse. You may have died already.

Ending Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSWxlaYKoMw&f eature=related Ending Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=mCVdVocHe18&NR=1 And Colin’s winner is: 1. DOA (1950) Dir. Rudolph Maté Do not confuse this with the inferior 1988 remake with Dennis Quaid and Meg Ryan. You have been warned! When small time accountant Frank Bigelow (a great outing here for Edmond O’Brien) notarizes a simple shipping document, he unwittingly makes powerful and dangerous enemies. The film opens with the ending, in a way, as Bigelow staggers into a police station in San Francisco to report a homicide. “Who was murdered?” asks a cop. Bigelow replies simply: “I was”. For my money, the best film noir ever – the pace is ramped up until Bigelow’s showdown with his soon-to-be killer.

Although it begins at the end, I love the understated ‘not with a bang but a whimper’ feel to the climax. The whole film is public domain now, so you can see it on the Internet Archive for free – enjoy. http://www.archive.org/details/doa_1949 Picturenose: These guys have ‘a nose for a good picture’ and regularly post reviews on both new and classic movies. It’s a very easy site to use and you can post your own comments - in order to wind James up. www.picturenose.com

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Ring Those School Belles!

It’s that time of year again – the universities are filling up once more and the ‘adults’ among us are back behind our overflowing desks.

Here at Around Brussels in 30 Days, we’re sick to death of everyone – even the French and Dutch newspapers and magazines – using that hoary old headline ‘Back to School’. So bollocks – as you will have noticed, we didn’t. That’s our excuse, anyway...anyway, on these pages, you’ll find a quick guide to the best student places to hang out, written by Cédric Dautinger.

Discovering Brussels with Erasmus Studying at the ULB-VUB universities of Brussels? If so, forget about regular advice for tourists – you’re young, you’ll want to go out and discover the city as a student. Brussels will welcome you with pleasure but, as always, with discretion.

And you’ll have plenty to do – and suffer! Between now and November, many half-naked students will be crawling in the mud under the orders of older ones wearing a strange cap.

No worries, it’s just the traditional baptême that new arrivals go through in certain student circles.

These circles are part of the ULB and VUB, helping new students, organizing TDs (see below) or other activities such as the annual beach volley, the Brassicole (beer tasting) or proms.

Of course, you don’t have to be a member (and to do the initiation) to enter those events, so if drinking a lot of beers while running naked across the university is not your idea of fun, skip it.

TD stands for thé dansant – old-fashioned dancing nights. Now, it’s

become the name for student parties. Meanwhile, there’s Saint Verhaegen – a celebration of the foundation of the ULB-VUB. Saint V holds an annual, giant parade of folkloric groups in the ULB and VUB. Each one has a truck full of beers and 20 November is always a holiday.

There are no excuses for avoiding this typical student event in the middle of Brussels, and finishing the night with the survivors at a TD. So, where to go? It’s a fact that Brussels is a small city, but don’t expect to see students around the Atomium, drinking at Grand’Place or eating in the Rue des Bouchers.

For those at the ULB-VUB, going out tends to mean the areaa around the Ixelles cemetery. You’ll understand the famous Belgian surrealism in the atmosphere found between the two main campuses, linked by University Avenue.

Indeed, one of the most full-of-life places in night-time Brussels is close to those who try very hard to rest in peace.

Top 5 Bars: Where to have a drink, meet other students and sing out loud 1, 2 and 3: Le Tavernier , La Bastoche and Le Gauguin are an important part of the ULB-VUB universe that you have to discover if you’re studying in that area. No matter where you go, the important point is to gather your friends around some beers.

4: The 102 bar would be a classic in Japan. It’s the only one in the area to have karaoke. Watch all your friends try to sing old and funny French songs and you won’t be able to resist having a go. Probably.

“Bifle me, I’m famous”?!? Er, ok...

5. Jungle Rhum Bar has drinks at democratic prices and the jungle decoration is awesome. Give it a try if you’ve already been to the first four.

Top 5 Restaurants: – Where to eat and discover world food with a student budget 1. Les Caves du Picotin offers good Italian food. It’s easy to find pizzas and pastas, so why does it deserve top billing? For the student prices!

All the pasta dishes are cheap and, for two students, you only pay for one. Beat that!

2. Tapas y mas is a smart way to start an evening before hitting the bars. Make your selection and enjoy the famous little recipes of Spain with a good wine (or beer, if you want to go ‘local’).

3. Tired of the Chinese restaurants? Fed up with the Vietnamese and Thaï variations? Why don’t you try Indonesian food? The Garuda is the place to visit if you want to discover this exotic country.

It’s more expensive, we have to admit, but this new restaurant is

wonderful. And don’t forget your student card, as you do have special prices here too.

4. Naly, Poussière d’étoile, L’Apocalypse, Tom Yam... You can’t miss the Asian restaurants around the cemetery. They seem to be on every corner. Try these four.

5. You should try to avoid fast-food places such as Quick (even if they have a brand new ‘restaurant’ near the cemetery) but you can still try the type of joint we here in Brussels call a ‘snack’. You can’t miss them, they’re everywhere in the city, selling French fries (which are, of course, from Belgium) and original stuff with strange names such as mitraillette, bicky or durum. Don’t confuse them with fritkots, which are outside eateries.

Check the map on Lapige.be to see where these restaurants are http://lapige.be/2010/11/mangeons-peu-mangeons-bien/ To find other interesting places, or to discover more about the ULB, check the rest of www.lapige.be. It’s the only information website about the Free University of Brussels, run by students for students.

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Men with odd-shaped balls

Until 23 October, New Zealand is playing host to the VI William Webb Ellis Rugby Union World Cup. This is a tournament in which twenty of the best international teams from around the globe are taking part in a non-stop running, scrumming, kicking, chasing and diving-over-the-line extravaganza that’s sure to invade the monster flat-screen TVs of several bars near you.

Frankly, if you love beer but don’t like rugger...you’re fucked.

Many armchair punters are saying that the hosts, the All Blacks, are just too good to lose – but they’ve said that a few times before.

The Kiwis won the first competition held back in 1987 but, since then, zip. In fact, you could say they’ve down-underperformed.

Big time.

They are certainly the favourites, but it takes more than a few pre-match dances and tongue-sticking-out antics to win this trophy. And hosting the event can be a double-edged sword; home advantage all the way, but immense pressure, too.

Recent form, in which they absolutely took their main rivals Australia and South Africa to the cleaners, suggests they are at a peak of fitness and skill. Trouble is, they’re an ageing side. The ‘Old Blacks’, some brave critics have had the nerve to call them.

Then again, Sir Clive Woodward’s 2003-winning England side were, at least relatively speaking, a bunch of old ceckers.

Or ‘experienced’, to be on the safe side...

Either way, reigning champions South Africa will not be giving up the title easily, while Europe boasts the unpredictable but occasionally mighty France and the usually not-so-mighty UK Home Nations of England, Scotland, Wales and, of course, Ireland.

From the point of view of England, they will be looking to give a good showing as their home ground, Twickenham, will play host to the next event, to be held in 2015.

And, by the way, those of you reading this in Brussels may be shocked to learn that, due to a mortifying miscalculation on the part of the organisers, ‘plucky little’ Belgium is not represented. Good grief.

Anyway, if you do enjoy watching blokes play with odd-shaped balls, and you happen to be in the capital of Europe, may we not-at-all-humbly recommend a trio of specialist bars to enhance your viewing, boozing and eating pleasure?

Something of a (fairly) new kid on the block is Six Nations. Located on Rue Grétry in the heart of the city, it takes its name from the well-known tournament held between the UK Home Nations plus France and now Italy.

It’s a dedicated rugger pub that has quickly mastered the art of serving up good beer and smashing food.

Just down the road and opposite The Bourse you’ll find O’Reilly’s. This well-established bar has more TVs than you can blow a ref’s whistle at, and the Irish-style food on offer is hearty and tasty. Perfect with a pint of Guinness, naturally.

Finally, if you’re not the downtown type but still fancy a cracking atmosphere and good grub, head up to Place du Luxembourg and a visit to Fat Boy’s.

Designed exclusively as a sports bar from its emergence ten years ago, Fat’s has as many, if not more, screens than anywhere else in town and boasts brilliant burgers too.

One of the owners is a Kiwi, so there’ll be plenty of nail-biting in that bar.

Of course, plenty of other hostelries will be showing the games, but these three are specifically geared up for it. Enjoy! www.sixnations.be www.oreillys.nl/brussels www.fatboys-be.com

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Brussels in 30 days - Page 12

Belgium v Sweden: Match of the Century? Well, a bit...

Mike Moscrop used to live in Belgium. Know he resides in Sweden. And he loves football. So what better way for him to pit the two countries against each other than by measuring their attributes in a fantasy soccer match?

Welcome to the Big Match, live from the Make-Believe Stadium.

We’re ready for kick-off and the two teams have been assembled after much browsing and careful selection in each of their respective “fields”. There can be only one winner for the non-illustrious “better place to live” trophy, as the Chocolatiers and the Cinnamon Rolls go head-to-head.

And we’re off, the ball flowing neatly here for Brussels, nothing can seem to match the city’s ratings for multiculturalism. He’s through on goal, oh! and it’s in the net for the Belgians. Stockholm’s snootiness and isolation was no match for the staggering pace of Brussels’ development. It’s a beautiful sight to see.

We’re past the six minute mark and Sweden’s unison is easily past the poor and shoddy Belgian defence – perhaps too much squabbling amongst themselves. Yes, it was a forgone conclusion, the unity behind the Swedes really showed as the Belgians were divided. If this goes on much longer, perhaps there’ll even be a split somewhere in midfield.

So it’s one-all, and Belgium are looking to regain the lead. Talented musician Milow has just broken through, he seemed to have spent ages in the dark. Sheer music by the Belgian star here, just listen to them sing. Oh, he’s been fouled. The ref is calling a free-kick, he seems unimpressed by Robyn, and I can’t say I blame him, she’s an awful nuisance and tends to get in everybody’s face. That’s a yellow card...and a goal! 2-1 to Belgium!

Ten minutes gone and the goals are flying in, but here come the Swedes again. Tintin has brought down Wallander, albeit barely, and that’ll be a free kick. Poor Tintin is trying to solve the mystery of stopping the Swedes from penetrating the box...the ref wants a word, and it’s a Swedish free kick. Wallander lines up his shot. 2-2!

Pure entertainment from the Swedes, they’ve made a far better programme than the comical Belgians. But wait, the assistant has scrubbed the goal and ordered a re-take.

First, there’ll be substitutions – the weather could play a real factor here. Up steps White Christmas on for Wallander, and Constantly Rainy for Tintin. Bang! That makes it level. White Christmas outplay Constantly Rainy as the two substitutes make their impact.

Things will really go well for Sweden if SEK can just find a way through the defence. SEK is Sweden’s terribly expensive signing, and he’s lost it to Euro - the Belgian was right on the money there.

Shakey footing for Euro as he almost fell - the Swedes were thinking about buying him, but decided against it. Perhaps they should have...Euro has scored. He’s having a funny season, up and down a lot, but he’s strong when it matters. That’s a great goal for Belgium.

If Sweden are going to nick this before half-time their tough and

chewy winger Meatballs Herring is going to have to stop spooning it. He’s attempting to take on Steak Frites here – it’s tough, but the Belgian small fry has just managed to dunk it off him. The Swedes are struggling, there doesn’t seem to be anyway to beat Steak Frites, he’s so fast and quick, very tasty football. The smelly Meatballs Herring doesn’t have a chance. It’s 4-2, Meatballs Herring went down like a sack of spuds...

As the second-half gets under way, it’s the Swedes making a break.

Skånetrafiken is flying through here, he bullet-trains past STIB who’s rolling around the ground. He’s protesting something, but we can’t quite see the need for it – he’s well paid after all. Right on time, as ever, the Swedes have scored. It’s remarkable. One behind now...

But the Belgians are still up for a scrap, Jupiler is on the ball and making Falcon look a little flat. There’s no spark or bubbles in Falcon’s play and he’s quickly overtaken by the much better and stronger Jupiler. He gets a nod on, and it’s in. A beautiful big head on Jupiler finds the back of the net. You have to wonder if the Swedes have any bottle left and are they running out of fizz? 5-3.

We’ll find out now, as Viking is storming past Belgica. Nobody knows who or where this ancient Belgian player popped up from, and nobody really cares. Viking is laying siege to the Belgian defence, and...that’s history, he’s completely routed them, invading their territory and they’re beaten...again. The Swedes trail by one.

With scarcely ten minutes to go, it’s the Swedes who are on the attack again, this time with Ikea. Everything’s coming together nicely...there are no problems with the construction of this play, although you do sense that perhaps a piece is missing from this side. Can the Belgians muster a counter with Godiva? He is world renowned, after all. But so too is Ikea, and he turns out to be far more useful and handy with the ball... the Swedes are level again!

Injury time beckons here, and if it stays like this, there’ll be extra-time penalties. Time perhaps for just once last attack, and it’s Anderlecht-StandardBrugge leading the front line. They’ve got a lot of history between them, a lot of titles. IFK-AIK-Malmö have a fair bit too, including European experience...but will it be enough? Who knows, neither the Swedish nor Belgian attackers will make it count?

But wait, the Swedish line is strong, there’s a good tussle, and...oh, Anderlecht-Standard-Brugge has been knocked out. Red card! It’s an early exit for Sweden, IFK-AIK-Malmö is out of the tournament, with an early bath for the Swedes. So it’s penalty time for the Belgians.

Can they get a last-gasp winner? Yes! Anderlecht-Standard-Brugge did just enough - it’s 6-5 and the Swedes look as though they won’t advance. Nope they won’t, it’s full-time here.

So, as Belgium gets its hands on the Non-Illustrious Cup, here at the Make-Believe Stadium, it’s now official. Can you believe it?

Belgium just sneaks it. Not always pretty, but reaching the surreal at times. Well played!

Check out Mike’s more-risqué pieces on the Food For Thought website, www.pizzapress.org

Around

Tempted by Tenerife: ‘Such a lovely place, such a lovely face...’

To help launch our new travel section, Lucy Mallows takes off to the Canaries.

RUE DES BOGARDS, 28-40 BRUSSELS 1000 Tel: +32 2 511 52 69, Fax: +32 2 513 51 70 info@liquidoma.be www.liquidoma.be OPEN: MONDAY-SATURDAY 10AM-6.30PM

’Welcome to the Hotel California, such a lovely place, such a lovely face.’

No, unfortunately I didn’t just jet off to the west coast of the US to mingle with the beautiful people. I’m still humming that dratted tune by The Eagles, which rings discordantly in my ears 24 hours after the last blast of that niggling chorus.

Hotel California echoes (off-key) across the Playa de las Americas on the steamy resort island of Tenerife, in the Canarian archipelago off the coast of North Africa. It appeared that every ‘international artiste’, every ‘international song and dance’ performer, every pub singer who should have been pensioned off decades ago and every drunken karaoke star had their own, unique, inimitable (thank God) version of that song. And goodness me, did they like to belt it out.

Aside from my inerasable audiovisual memories of performances by Robbie G Williams, Movin’ Marvin, whose talents include ‘clogging’ (up the pipes, one imagines) and the scatological rambling of Roy ‘Chubby’ Brown, my olfactory glands were assaulted by the aromas of the food on offer.

Not much in the way of paella, freshly cooked fish or tapas bars, but if you fancy a full English breakfast at any hour of the day, prices start low and pints of lager are served alongside.

Tenerife exudes a sickly sweet aroma, not from the acres of banana plantations, but something more like bubbling beef fat, fish and chips and warm ale, oh and a heady whiff of coconut tanning-lotion emanating from the pink bodies lying lined up on the artificial beach, like sausages about to burst their skins under the grill.

Having said that, I had a fabulous time.

The local Titsa bus service runs rings around the island, making escape from lagerland possible. We travelled up the coast to Los Gigantes, a resort clinging to a gigantic rock face (hence the name) and watched paragliders plunge over the precipice and land expertly on the grey sanded beach, while we, from the safety of the Restaurante Marinero Jessi’s sun-drenched terrace, wolfed down grilled plaice, papas arrugadas con mojo (‘wrinkly’ potatoes boiled dry in salty water and served with mojo, a delicious sauce made from peppers, vinegar, cumin and garlic).

We washed it down with a potent sangria, involving red wine, fresh fruit and some fiery brandy. All this for under €30 (for two) and we didn’t have to negotiate the tortuous winding mountain roads after.

However, to really appreciate the island and find some hidden, less tourist-packed places we really needed our own set of wheels. We hired a white (for some reason, 90% of Tenerife’s vehicles are white) Fiat Punto for three days, and headed off to explore.

Tenerife contains many different environments. The south and eastern areas, where most of the resorts are situated, are arid desert covered with banana plantations and building sites. The region’s half-finished quality and the piles of rubble give the appearance of Beirut. The north and west

coastline, however, is filled with lush green valleys and forests.

I bobbed about in the thunderous surf at the Playa de San Marcos and built up a ravenous enthusiasm for the grilled fresh sardines and salad (with bananas!) at Maria’s beach-side restaurant.

At Icod de los Vinos, we admired the ancient Drago tree, which resembles a giant broccoli floret, oozes red blood when cut and is said to be more than 1,000 years old. We pottered about in the beautiful herb garden surrounding the tree and jumped when ten-centimetre lizards, who’d been basking in the sunshine, scuttled off before our feet.

Pottering through Puerto de la Cruz’s beautifully laid out botanical gardens, I could have been back in Havana, meditating in the shade of a banyan tree and dodging the razor sharp fronds of dangling palm leaves.

My favourite part of the island was the isolated north-eastern tip, where the spiky, verdant Anaga mountain range divides the two romantic, rocky coasts. We drove slowly along narrow lanes, sticking to the side of sheer cliffs, screeched around hairpin bends with dust flying in our wake.

Just beyond the tiny village of Tabanana are two pebbly beaches, popular with surfers. A red warning flag flew on our visit, so I had to be content with a nostalgic crab-chasing, rock-pooling session among the spume and spray.

No visit to Tenerife is complete without a pilgrimage to the volcanic Pico del Teide – at 12,198 ft (3,718m) above sea level, it is Spain’s highest peak.

We explored the lunar-style landscape, dotted with aromatic sage-green bushes, on one of the many hiking trails.

After a day in the hot, dry sun, swimming against the tide, battling with the undertow and hiking through the wind-blown mountains, we built up healthy appetites for food and drink in the endless line of bars and restaurants that stretch from Playa de las Americas along to Los Cristianos.

If I could just find a venue where the ‘entertainers’ have never heard of The Eagles...

Read more by Lucy Mallows at http://disappearingbudapest.blogspot.com

Brussels in 30 days - Page 16

The Getaway...

Carrying on in Carcassonne Mary Nicklin (and her ‘trailing spouse’) took a trip to the historic city, located in a triangle between Toulouse, Montpellier and Perpignan in deepest, southern-most France.

We all know we should go to Carcassonne - a perfect medieval cité, the largest fortress in Europe and ten years a UNESCO Heritage Site.

But it was more British works which finally prompted our visit; wanting to cross Lord Rogers’ Millau Bridge (stunning) and reading Kate Mosse’s Labyrinth (less so). There was also the eccentric Narrow Dog to Carcassonne by Terry Darlington – more fun than both put together – but he arrived in the Ville Basse, which UNESCO doesn’t rate quite as highly.

Carcassonne’s old cité really is everyone’s dream historical destination – a stunning citadel-cum-chateau set high above the surrounding and equally superb countryside. In fact it’s so perfect, it’s almost disturbing – cobbled streets that York and Bruges would die for and smugly traffic free, the most dangerous encounter being the lone minibus serving an interior hotel.

The only way to arrive is just to head up the hill – via the main car park – and follow the crowds on foot. On a hot Saturday, La Cité de Carcassonne within walls is packed. Tourist shops sell the same warlike souvenirs, although we spotted one unlikely establishment selling, well, just salt, beautifully packaged produce from the nearby Camargue.

Café tables perch on cobbles, everywhere is steep, manicured and hot.

By now I was already planning the closing words of this review: “Go to Albi instead.” But this is Cathar country and there is serious history to be had.

Prosperity ended with the 13th-century Albigensian Crusade.

A tolerant, multi-faith community was wiped out by siege, fire, persecution and political intrigues that make modern-day Brussels seem positively languorous.

The 24-year-old Viscount of Carcassonne, who had offered his protection to those being hounded for their beliefs, was imprisoned and soon died; surrounding cities and citadels were sacked. Hundreds died for their supposedly ‘heretic’ faith, while towns and villages that harboured them were destroyed.

While visiting the restored buildings and towers, taking Le Petit Train on its tour of the defences and ramparts, visitors can learn as little or as much as they wish. We headed back to the trusty Mercure Hotel and swam in brilliant sunshine.

A quick visit to the Maison Joe-Bousquet followed – the poet was paralysed in the 1914-18 war, never left his room until 1950 but wrote and entertained fellow writers there.

Then it was supper in a hidden restaurant, La Fontaine du Soleil, in a courtyard gazeboed with an ancient tree; the best cassoulet we’ve ever had. Finally, it was Sunday morning, earlyish, bliss. Tranquil, no crowds, with a chance to look out across the ramparts...

Be sure to walk through the archways, the buildings, the history. But beware, at Carcassone, it’s the visitors that get in the way!

Page 17 - Brussels in 30 days

Why messing about in boats these days is ferry good fun Around the EU in 30 Days sent its editor, Tony Mallett, across the North Sea by ferry.

Unfortunately, he also made it back...

queasiness. Yes, there’s always a chance of bad weather but these ferries are so huge and stable that most people won’t feel a thing, even when the wind is up and the waves batter the sides like angry white horses trying to hoof down a barn door. Only once in ten years have I been on a ferry that had to wait a couple of hours to dock because of a ferocious sea.

Whatever the weather, for me, the best thing about the overnight trip is this unpredictable element – this greeny-grey lifeforce. If you ever want to get a sense of proportion, an idea of your own place in creation, there’s nothing like standing on a deck and looking out at all that awesome, brutal power. It’s truly amazing to

It had been several years since I’d taken ‘the overnight’ from Zeebrugge in Belgium across oft turbulent and storm-tossed waters to the north of England. Ten years ago, though, having moved to Brussels, it was by far the cheapest, if not fastest, way to get back – to see a girl.

You may well ask where the value was in spending one-weekend-in-three at risk of barfing over the side of a floating B-and-B in a force ten gale, making stilted conversation with monosyllabic truckers while a balding, fat pub singer murdered Tom Jones songs in the background, then being blasted from a beer-induced coma by an unforgiving tannoy at 6.30am.

All this prior to braving a communal shower, getting marched ashore, being poked at by customs officers and finally suffering a shuttle-bus ride, while bleary eyed, hungover and nicotine deprived, to the litter-strewn monolith that is Hull railway station.

Well, I thought it was worth it. At least until the girl and I split. From that point, the desire for a regular route back home sank without trace.

I was usually skint and what made the journey really cheap back then was that, as a foot passenger, you paid only for a reclining chair, rather than a cabin. One felt oddly heroic in the imagined guise of daring stowaway or seafaring hitchhiker - although the ‘heroism’ tended to dissolve later in inverse proportion to the pints of fizzy beer imbibed.

This hero-into-puddle-of-gibberinguselessness process invariably went on for as long as the Belgian francs lasted and the bar stayed open. Then it was off with a rolling gait to the foot passengers’ domain, where the skill was to locate your recliner without stomping on some poor bugger’s head or keeling over from the smell of stale socks and a fusillade of farts.

Well, thank Poseidon and P&O, those days are long passed. It’s cabins only now, which might not seem an improvement to broke backpackers but, trust me, it is. Given that these cabins are all very comfortable with ensuite bathroom and power shower, whatever extra you spend you’ll save by not sitting at the bar for so long. ���������������������� Also, the food – which, to be ����������������� fair, was always pretty good – has improved. I went for the self-service ������������������� buffet dinner/breakfast option but, ������������������ if you want to splash out, there’s the ���������������� more salubrious restaurant with its surprisingly good wine list. Dotted ������������������ around the decks are plenty of snack bars and coffee shops too if the idea of dining at sea brings on an attack of

watch the sometimes thundering and towering waves crash into the ship, then marvel next morning when last night’s bad-tempered beast seems all calm and serene.

From this writer’s point of view, there was only ever one real downside to this mode of transport – it takes a while. OK, not everybody would be stupid enough to board the ferry Friday night, get to York sometime around 11am Saturday, spend just over 24 hours with his ladyfriend then hurtle back to Hull Docks in time to board the return ferry Sunday teatime, to be back at a Brussels desk Monday morning.

Nah, don’t do that. Relax – and float, float on... www.poferries.be

������������������� ������������� ������������������� ��������������������������������� ����������������������������

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Brussels in 30 days - Page 18

Page 19 - Brussels in 30 days

Malmo: A city for all seasons

The Getaway 2...

By Mike Moscrop in Sweden

Old Town habits die hard

By Martin Banks When getting away comes to mind, you might already have thought of Croatia and its famous city of Dubrovnik. No surprises, there, as thousands of visitors from across the world have decided to see this city on the sea in a stunning part of Croatia’s Adriatic coast.

Croatia is set to become the 28th member of the European Union, providing a much-needed boost to its struggling economy. There are just two ‘chapters’ – or negotiating policy areas – to close before the six-year access process ends. So, when the chapters on competition and judicial issues are finalised, Croatia will be the latest newcomer to the EU club.

One sector set for an immediate fiscal boost on EU-entry is the tourist industry, which is only just recovering from the ravages of the bitter war in the early 1990s. Tourism took a massive nosedive in the genocide which erupted with the implosion of the former Yugoslavia.

Nikola Dobroslavic, the Prefect of Dubrovnik-Neretva County and president of the regional tourist board, says that tourism has played a ‘significant’ role in helping Croatia emerge from the war, and that EU membership will provide another much-needed boost to the economy.

His confidence is shared by Dubrovnik and Neretva County Tourist Board Director Vladimir Bakic, who said that EU membership is likely to generate considerable foreign investment and boost visitor figures.

Much of the country’s tourist trade is centered on the historic region of Dubrovnik, in the southern-most part of Croatia. Long seen as the country’s most beautiful city, Dubrovnik, following the siege of 1991-2 that damaged two out of three buildings in the medieval Old Town, is back on the map.

Though small, the Old Town has been mostly restored to its former glory, and a 2km walk along ancient city walls gives breathtaking views it; the walls climb to 25m high in some places.

The current condition of the Old Town is a far cry from how it looked in the aftermath of the war. Almost all of the damage has been repaired, although if you look closely, mortar damage in the cobblestone streets and bullet marks in the stone houses are visible.

Back then, local citizens had to retreat to a nearby fortress for safety, staying in the most basic conditions without water or electricity or up to six months. But how times change – the Dubrovnik region now attracts up to 1 million visitors annually – 600,000 of them to the Old Town.

At the far end of its main street is Luza Square, with Orlando’s Column – built in 1418 as a monument to freedom – standing in the centre.

Meantime, of the 17 churches in the Old Town, the cathedral is the obvious stand-out – it’s stately, domed and hosts Titian’s polyptych, The Assumption, behind its main altar. To the left of the altar, the treasury contains a leg, arm and the skull of St. Blaise.

An ideal place to stay is the Hotel Excelsior (00385 20 353353), a five-star hotel built in 1913 and completely renovated in 1988. It overlooks the Old City and has 146 bedrooms.

Early evening in Dubrovnik is sublime – the stone turns golden in the twilight - but you’ve just missed one of its cultural highlights of the year, the annual summer festival. The event has been held every year since 1949 from 10 July to 25 August and is famous for its selection of drama, plays and concerts. Well, maybe next year...

Not to worry, as there are plenty of other things to do and, from Brussels, you could take a Croatian Airlines flight via Zagreb and then on to Dubrovnik. The nearest airport, Zracna, is about 20km north of the latter.

Recently, the cable car in Dubrovnik reopened after a major facelift and is already proving a big hit with visitors. But, with Croatian EU-accession entering its final leg, the cable car isn’t the only thing that is set to take off in this proud Balkan country.

More at www.prestigeholidays.co.uk/croatia

Located on the south-west coast of Sweden, and barely 30 minutes from Kastrup (Copenhagen Airport) in Denmark, Malmö is a city on the move. The past few years have seen lots of construction, immigration and wealth pour into one of Sweden’s oldest cities, earmarking its position for the future.

For tourists wishing to visit Malmö from, for example Brussels, one may be pleasantly surprised. The centre of the city has many narrow cobble stoned alleyways and several lavish squares (Stortorget and Gustav Adolfs Torg specifically), with beautiful architecture and historical statues adorning them all.

In fact, its similarity to Belgium’s capital is uncanny and it certainly makes me feel at home as I walk down its streets.

In the winter, though, the comparison may be harder to see. Being a coastal town, a bitterly cold, crisp wind whips into the city from the docks and often the lakes freeze over and a thick blanket of snow covers most of the centre. A walk along any of Malmö’s several canals during winter is truly beautiful, but very cold.

Easily reachable via the Öresund trains from Copenhagen Airport, it’s also possible to reach Malmö from almost any major Swedish city via trains and Skånetrafiken buses. If you book with one of the smaller airline companies, travellers can fly directly there as it has its own airport too.

The most common method of transport to the city from mainland Europe, however, remains the Öresund trains. With close to 9.5 billion Swedish crowns (around €1bn) recently spent on the City Tunnel, commuting between Denmark and Sweden has become quicker; just 20 minutes to Copenhagen airport.

The city has hotels aimed at every budget. The principal rule of all cities remains the same, hotels within the centre are more luxurious and expensive than those in the outskirts.

Once your’e settled, it’s time to explore. In a city as old as Malmö, you’d expect a lot of classic buildings and, whilst this remains true, there are also a lot of modern places of note.

During winter, most of the city’s attractions are closed. But the Terrarium (featuring not just snakes but monkeys, kangaroos and spiders, oddly enough) is open all year round. Costing roughly a fiver, it is great value for money and its poisonous reptiles will scare the hell out of anyone. Winter also sees the inclusion of an ice-rink just to enhance that winter wonderland feeling.

No visit to Malmö would be complete without a museum tour, and Malmöhus has got it all.

Also located a short walk from Central Station by following the canal on your right, there’s an old castle and its moat. The museum hosts art and technology exhibitions but top of the list are the collection of stuffed animals in its natural history section, the archaeology wing and the abundance of live aquatic animals on the ground Roughly 70 Swedish (€8) gives access to all these museums, including the maritime museum nearby, and one could easily spend a few hours inside its great maze of hallways if it didn’t tend to close at 4pm.

Walking inside the ancient castle can be tricky as, while viewing the old bedrooms of the Kings of Sweden, it’s easy to get disoriented and lose

yourself down the stone corridors.

Saving the best till last, the symbol of Malmö is the unique Turning Torso building.

Spanish architecture at its finest, the 623 ft, 54-floor skyscraper is the tallest residential building in the European Union. Although the two bottom floors are offices, the building is not open to the public, except for a few rare occasions during the summer. During this period, the top floor of the tower can be visited via a well-in-advance booking.

Food-wise, if you’re in a hurry and want something on the go, aside from the usual McDonalds, Pizza Hut and Burger King joints, Malmö is littered with sausage (korv) venders all over the city. These serve up tasty sausages from Denmark, Poland and Germany, all for very fair prices. And we’re not on about pathetic little hot dogs; we’re talking big sausages, some of the finest I’ve had.

While food can be moderately priced in Malmö, drink, unfortunately, is not. So if you’re preparing to spend a night out on the lash, be ready to cough up plenty of notes. Directly to your right, upon exiting the busy Central Sta-

tion, lies O’Leary’s, one of the most expensive bars in Malmö, but you do get value for money.

It has an excellent selection of brews, plus live sports and is, in essence, a sports bar like no other.

But, if watching the big match isn’t your thing, you’re still really spoiled for choice here.

Malmö has more bars per person than any other Swedish city, and a brisk walk through its streets reveals many. With Irish bars, nightclubs, wine bars and the traditional Swedish haunts, there’s something for everyone. All are non-smoking, although during the summertime this is not an issue; many have outside tables and generously provide you with heaters and blankets to beat back the waterside chill.

So there you are. If you’re looking for a touch of home but with a taste of Sweden, then Malmö is certainly the city to visit. Its dockside is reminiscent of former culture capital Liverpool and its beauty is pure Brussels.

When not writing travel pieces, Mike has his own ranting website, Food For Thought.

Find it at www.pizzapress.org

Brussels in 30 days - Page 20

The Getaway 3...

Goth, but not forgotten: At least not in Whitby...

Words and pictures by Graham Rhodes Whitby, a small seaside town on the Yorkshire coast, a place that relies on tourism and fishing, a town famous for Jet jewellery made popular by the mourning of Queen Victoria, The Magpie Café, described by celebrity chef Rick Stein as “the place that opened my eyes to how good a chip shop could be”, and Goths.

Goths? Well, Whitby’s Goth connections go back to the Victorian author Bram Stoker and his novel Dracula, first published in 1897. Not only did Stoker write the book in Whitby, he also featured the port as the place where Dracula, in the shape of a large black dog, enters Britain, and is the site of one of his victims.

But to find out how a Victorian novel gave birth to a cult we have to fastforward to the late 1970s where we find Goth emerging out of a mixture of punk and new romantics – The Sex Pistols and The Clash to Bauhaus, Alien Sex Fiend and The Sisters of Mercy.

There’s a claim that the late (great) Tony Wilson first used the word Gothic to describe the music of Joy Division as an antithesis to mainstream pop music.

Whatever, however – over a hundred years post-Stoker, Whitby now plays host to one of the biggest Goth festivals in the world. A weekend bash that, twice a year, now stretches from Thursdays to Mondays, with live Goth gigs & bands, Goth markets, Goth nightclubs and even a charity football match (Goths v the local Whitby newspaper).

For drinking Goths, the event centres around the Elsinore pub that, ten years ago when the festival first started, was the only pub in Whitby that would serve them. Over the years, other Whitby pubs eventually saw the (financial) error of their ways and opened their arms to welcome the Goth pound, but still The Elsinore remains at the heart of the festival.

Booze and music aside, the main objective of the festival is to see and be seen by the endless promanade of Goth(ic) fashionistas strutting their stuff between the graveyard at the top of the hill, down the 199 steps (count them, everyone else does!), through the picturesque streets of the Old Town, across the swing bridge, along the foreshore to the pier and back again.

Fashionistas? Oh yes, these days being a Goth is not just about wearing scary make-up, dying your hair, dressing in black and sporting false fangs.

We’ve come a long way since dancing/shrugging along as Pete Murphy growled: Bela Lugosi’s Dead.

Goth as both concept and fashion trend has moved with the times. Sure, the basic fashion trends remain – a mega-mix ‘n’ match of black velvet, lace, fishnets, leather edged in blood-red or purple, tightly laced corsets, bodices, gloves, boots, stilettos and jewellery of quasi religious and/or occult themes!

These days, Goth has moved into various sub, sub-cultures. Strolling along the Whitby promanade today, you will see Edwardian Goths, Victorian Goths, Stuart Goths, Cyber Goths, Future Goths, Steampunk Goths, Burlesque Goths, Victorian Military Goths, Germanic Goths, Pirate Goth and some that, as yet, have no label – all walking along like an explosion in Terry Gilliam’s costume department.

And it’s not just a teenage thing – the cult of Goth spans all age groups from the elegant ladies in their mid 60s down to the two kids I saw dressed as ‘The Hitcher’ character from The Mighty Boosh. These days the Goth festival is friendly, accessible and fun. It’s Yorkshires own Mardi Gras held under leaden skies – fancy dress with fish and chips.

The next festival is scheduled f or the weekend of 4-§ November.

Just don’t let anyone near your throat...

www.whitbygothweekend.co.uk

Page 21 - Brussels in 30 days

Why England’s second city is ‘Brumming’ with enthusiasm

By Martin Banks Most recently, it was in the news for all the wrong reasons.

Shocking images of violent riots right at the heart of Birmingham spread across the globe.

But the unrest that was seen in other UK cities as well masks what has been a remarkable change in Britain’s second city in recent years.

Whether you are a culture-vulture, food enthusiast or shopaholic, this bustling city has limitless attractions.

It isn’t for nothing that it attracts some 32 million visitors per year.

At the of it all is its famous Broad Street which, just a few years ago, was a rundown apology for an entertainment area. Today, however, it has been totally transformed and houses, among other things, the city’s wonderful international convention centre as well as numerous bars, cafes, restaurants and hotels.

For some, Birmingham is the ICC, the National Indoor Arena, the Symphony Hall or the Sea Life Centre.

For others, it’s the vibrant arts and culture scene that includes the Ikon Gallery and the Art Gallery, home to the Pre-Raphaelite Collection, and it’s the world-class shopping areas that do it for the retail junkies.

Whatever it means to the traveller, a particularly good base for any visit to Birmingham, or ‘Brum’, as it is commonly known, is the Mint Hotel – where we stayed.

Tucked away in a quiet area just off Broad Street, The Mint offers much to enjoy.

Its award-winning City Café is a stylish and comfortable destination restaurant

where guests can choose to dine in or eat alfresco on a mega-terrace. And a recently refurbished lounge and cocktail bar is a great way to too.

Then there’s the bedrooms – airy, modern sanctuaries that offer all the creature comforts you’d expect and some you might not, like an Apple iMac and free high-speed Wi-Fi. The rooms are spacious and designed for comfort, to enable guests to work, relax and unwind with ease. The staff are particularly courteous while the unfussy rooms are spotlessly clean – and there’s also a hearty breakfast.

Brum, of course, is also well known for its vast choice of Indian restaurants and one of the best, possibly the best, is Asha’s, on Newhall Street, at the heart of the city’s financial district.

This up-market resto is part of an international chain with other branches in exotic places like Dubai, Qatar and Bahrain.

What Brum may lack in sun, though, it more than makes up for with its terrific Indian cuisine. And it doesn’t come any better than Asha’s, where you really can enjoy the full dining experience.

Try any from the succulent meats of the speciality Kebab menu, the wide variety of vegetarian, seafood and meat dishes, or the delicate desserts because, as its inclusion since 2009 in the Michelin guide suggests, the authentic, Indian cuisine is excellent.

And there are also ‘signature’ cocktails available – marvellous.

Away from the restaurant experiences, Birmingham’s an absolute shopper’s paradise, offering head-turning chic or eye-catching value. They’re calling it ‘the bold new shopping capital of Europe’ –

which may be pushing it a little – but there’s a Harvey Nichols and a Selfridges, vibrant markets and the world-famous Jewellery Quarter with its hand-made craftsmanship.

Part of the city’s success story of late can be attributed to the work done by Marketing Birmingham, a public-private sector strategic-marketing partnership created ten years ago to help breathe new life into the place.

It recently launched a website, Birmingham Toolkit, ideal for accessing facts, stats, images, videos, case-studies and much more that bring the personality of Birmingham to life.

One splendid reason to visit this autumn is the upcoming Birmingham Food Fest, a first for the city.

More than 60 of Birmingham’s top restaurants and its best-loved chefs will be showing their support for the initiative, a ten-day gastronomic celebration, which runs from 14-23 October and features more than 100 food-filled events.

Award-winning chehf Aktar Islam, one of the masterminds behind Birmingham’s Lasan Restaurant, said: “Birmingham Food Fest is a great opportunity to raise the profile of the city’s extensive dining opportunities and to showcase the calibre of culinary talent here.”

The event is an exciting addition to the ongoing work undertaken by city promoters Visit Birmingham both to support and drive forward the culinary sector in the city.

While Brum is already oozing with heaps of top attractions, it’s about to get even better with yet more developments, such as the Birmingham Gateway, its new-look rail station, The Cube, which offers great apartments and offices and the revamped Edgbaston cricket ground.

Clearly, Britain’s second city is once again set to hit the opposition for six. www.minthotel.com www.alfrash.com www.ashasuk.co.uk www.marketingbirmingham.com www.businessbirmingham.com www.visitbirmingham.com www.meetbirmingham.com www.birminghamtoolkit.com

Brussels in 30 days - Page 22

Page 23 - Brussels in 30 days

The Getaway: 2

Liquid Belgium: Getting wet in Bruges and Dinant

By Lucy Mallows These days, little more than a trickle of the river Senne flows through Brussels; however, water lovers have many opportunities to enjoy a liquid holiday throughout Belgium.

Bruges is not known as the Venice of the North for nothing. This fine Flemish city’s charming, narrow lanes and quaint alleyways are encircled and bisected by a network of canals that give the map of the centre the appearance of a human heart.

Bruges is a real walking city but, after a while, all that meandering along alleys, peering into quirky chocolate shops, bargaining for fine lace while negotiating hordes of tourists in the main square can take its toll on the shoe leather.

It’s good to have a break and just sit back and admire the view – admittedly from an unusual angle and a quite different level.

One way to get a different perspective on Bruges and avoid the crowds for a break is to take a canal boat trip and explore the nooks and crannies from below.

The tours usually last half an hour and set off from five possible boarding points, situated south of the Belfort (belfry) close to the Stadhuis (town hall) and finish at the Onze Lieve Vrouwkerk (Church of Our Lady).

After exploring the city on the surface, visitors find that the view from the water offers something quite new. You might think you’ve seen all of the Flemish masterpiece while strolling the streets, but it’s quite a surprise to discover another side and level to the

Unesco-listed city and also the fact that you’d have missed 75% of the place if you hadn’t taken the tour. It’s great inspiration to explore further on foot.

The boat cruises gently along some of the most beautiful stretches of canal, overlooked by fine town houses, some with casement windows jutting out over the water and small private stone quays. Passing under hump-backed bridges, brushed by the fronds of overhanging willow trees, it’s like a journey back in time.

A guide gives a commentary throughout the trip, but you may find yourself drifting away into a daydream about living in a more elegant age as you gaze at the houses whose walls plunge down into the murky depths.

For a more racy trip on the water, take a white-water kayak trip in Dinant in the heart of the stunning Ardennes region; along the Lesse, it’s a great way to get fresh air, see another part of Belgium and build up an appetite for yet another plate of moules-frites.

Arriving in the town of Dinant, 80 kilometres south-east of Brussels, first check out the unusual black church and precipitous cliffs looming over. A little mountain train to the town of Houyet from where the five-hour, 21km journey sets off. It’s also possible to alight earlier at Gendron and take a shorter, two-hour 12km trip back.

Prospective kayakers – and it’s open to all aged over 12 – are given a bucket to keep all possessions dry, a life jacket and single or double kayak, which can be a standard or even a

‘super comfort’. Once seated in the craft, before they know it, they’re shoved down a steep ramp and splashing into the water, swooshing off downstream, northwards to Dinant.

The Lesse meanders through gorgeous, green countryside and passes bars and friteries, all located conveniently and far too temptingly close to the riverside – stop off at beaches filled with Belgian grannies having picnics and toddlers pottering, all having a great day out.

If there’s been a lot of rain, the Lesse rushes impatiently, pulling kayakers under overhanging willows where they end up sideways or up against a tree, but it’s all good fun, messing about on the river. Bear in mind that it is quite likely to capsize, especially with the less experienced paddler, so it’s advisable to leave expensive cameras and watches at home.

If the weather has been dry – strange as it may seem, this can happen in Belgium – then the Lesse is low and sluggish, but the ride is more leisurely. At the lower reaches of the river, the scenery is spectacular, as the kayaks enter a deep valley, surrounded by high cliffs pitted with prehistoric caves and the occasional Medieval chateau perched high above.

At Anseremme, there are hot showers and free changing rooms, plus a lovely café with a terrace overlooking the rushing waters. Then, take the little mountain train back to Dinant for a gourmet dinner in the spectacular Ardennes scenery.

Read more by Lucy Mallows at http://disappearingbudapest.blogspot.com

Sometimes it’s better by boat Now that Lucy, facing page, has written about Bruges and Dinant, it’s the turn of Martin Banks to talk about tours around the landscape surrounding Brussels Region.

Cruise company Rivertours owns a six-strong fleet of passenger boats that can accommodate between 20 and 250 people.

They offer a selection of trips, ranging from a leisurely cruise along the canal network from Halle on the outskirts of Brussels, to boat tours from Brussels to Anderlecht and Drogenbos, during which you can discover how the canal twists and turns as you pass numerous houseboats and an ever-changing landscape.

The trip starting from Halle is particularly

pleasant, as the cruise meanders through some of the prettiest countryside on the periphery of the city.

Such trips should appeal to everyone, from a company looking to host a team-building session for its staff, to an elderly couple in search of a fine way to spend a couple of hours or so.

Groups and associations can also hire boats for their own purposes and, for these tailor-made excursions, Rivertours will adapt the programme accordingly.

As well as the itinerary, you can choose your boarding point, the trip’s duration, and you can enjoy a meal while on board.

Travellers can also combine sailings with overland visits or other activities.

Meanwhile, several of the company’s boats are adapted for wheelchair users, so be sure to check which ones if required.

Cruises are not only relaxing and restful but also instructive as specially-trained and bilingual guides accompany all trips on all routes, explaining the history of the waterway you are on and all the sites you pass.

So, whether you want to discover a bit more about the ‘nautical’ history of Brussels Region or just fancy a spot of late summer/early autumn ‘sunbathing’ on the deck of a boat, this could be just for you. www.brusselsbywater.be Tel: +32 (0) 2 203 6406

Brussels in 30 days - Page 24

Get out of town for a perfect way to quench your ‘Dorst’

Tippler’s ‘Notes on the Back of a Beermat’

Bar-related musings from our man in the corner It’s not often that your correspondent will confess to even knowing a Philistine, let alone having one as a drinking mate.

But that fat fuck Denzil has proper crossed the line, this time.

Ok, he’s previously been found in the corner of The Oirish Pub pissing himself laughing when he realised that the word ‘artisanal’, when broken into three, can produce the term ‘art is anal’, but we’ll let him off that one. This time, however, he’s proper bollocksed it.

Surprising as it may sound - and it does sound surprising - we were invited to a ‘vernissage’ at one of those swanky little galleries around the Sablon. Loads of piss-poor wines, unidentifiable and inedible snacks that Nigel Slater wouldn’t have fed to his cat and poncy, arty types who couldn’t tell a dollop of the shocking grub from Van Gogh’s sawn-off lug ‘ole.

Or Gaugin’s arse, come to that.

Anyway, Denzil had already slurped “three or four” pints before we got there. The lying sod. He’d actually had eight or nine in The Oirish, cos I asked Shameless the barman a couple of days later.

Whatever, the ‘art’ on show was some modern abstract nonsense that you wouldn’t hang in your tumbledown shed, even if your granny had bought it for your birthday, and the artist was a goofy-toofed skinny bird with bad breath and hairy armpits. It did not bode well, from the first bloody minute. No, not at all.

Denzil had spotted the hairy armpits - he loves them on totty. But in his defence (sort of ) he’s been weird from birth through no fault of his own, so what can you do? Of course, the blithering bastard was in no fit state to realise that the aforementioned fuzzy Frenchy-things belonged to the creative genius that, for her (presumably formidable) sins, was hosting the whole sorry shebang.

And to be fair to Marie-Celeste, or whatever the hell her name was, she had no idea that Denzil was irredeemably rat-arsed.

But, as they moved unstoppably together, the scene called to mind one of those moments when two cars on ice revolve in slo-mo, anchors pointlessly slammed on and pirouetting like flat-topped metal ballet dancers... And you just know that, any second now, there’ll be a huge, earth-shaking, eardrum-bursting calamity.

Not half. The silly woman - confronted as she finally realised by a corpulent, salivating pisshead - asked him what he thought of one of the ‘pieces’ on show. “Well,” said Denzil,“ it’sh a bit wotsit - um, abshtract. But at firsht glance, I like it. A lot...”

It was too late... “Because,“ he blathered, “if I’m not mishtaken, and I rarely am, it’sh a brilliant representation of our dear-departed Queen Mum being bent over and royally rogered by a pygmy.”

What. An. Arse. I just knew we should’ve gone to that gay tea dance instead.

Not so much ‘goodbye’ as ‘au revoir’ I’m sitting here in the departures at BRU, writes Norway-bound Jonathan Di Blasi, attempting to narrow down my extensive list of what places I’m really gonna miss about Brussels. I’ll certainly miss the great choices of places to eat, drink, and enjoy the diverse population, architecture and history.

Here are my (verge-of-tears) top places I’ll truly miss, and I suggest you try them all.

The Cantillon Brewery and Brussels’ Museum of the Gueuze is a 20-minute walk from Grand’Place and a must visit.

This family owned-and-operated brewery takes you back in time to 1900 when they began brewing lambic beer. And they’ve done the same for the past 111 years.

Weird, interesting, sublime and lots more may come to mind when you taste the beer and, maybe like me, you’ll fall in love with the passion Cantillon expresses and shares with visitors.

Next, walk down to Anneessens Pre-Metro, where you’ll find Moeder Lambic, one of the world’s top beer bars - as is their original location in St. Gilles. The downtown version offers 40 taps, six hand pumps and a larger venue, serving cheese, charcuterie and a few different quiches. Service is always welcoming, extremely passionate and helpful. And with such a variety of artisanal beers, you may just need some help.

Sitting outside gives you a great opportunity to ‘people watch’ as the busy Anspach and Lemonnier Boulevards collide.

Dinner time fast approaches and I suggest A Bout de Soufre, a cozy, curious, creative, confident, slightly twisted, ‘gourmetal’ restaurant and wine bar focusing only on natural wines and food. This owner-operated duo team of Jérôme, (maitre d’ and natural wine freak) and Chef Arnold gives you a personal, local experience found in few places in the world. Located in a quiet side street off Chaussée de Charleroi, this is a favorite spot for lovers of great wines and food. It’s close to lots of historically

Page 25 - Brussels in 30 days

and artistically significant art nouveau architecture you must explore too, so allow time to do so.

Time to pick your evening up, or relax with a great selection of whiskies or cocktails at the centrally located Cobra Bar and gallery. You’ll quickly feel right at home, with owner Fitim’s attention or that of any one of his friendly team. I was instantly comfortable here, meeting the staff and regulars. I planned my next visit before I’d even finished my first.

So, go and explore and enjoy this great city that’s so much fun to fall in love with. And, Brussels, I know where I’ll find my heart whenever I decide I need it back... www.cantillon.be www.moederlambic.eu www.aboutdesoufre.com www.cobrabar.be

Jonathan Di Blasi travels to Etzeringen for a Sunday to remember...

It may sound crazy to get up early on a Sunday morning, just to get on a bus heading out of town to go drink beer. It is, but when the place is ‘In de Verzekering tegen de Grote Dorst’ and is only open Sunday mornings from 10am until just after church lets out at 1.30pm, you don’t have much choice.

Unless you’re attending a funeral at the church in Eizeringen’s small square where the pub is also located, the pub is having a special event, or you book a group in advance, you’ll need to visit on a Sunday morning.

That schedule is the same one the ‘Insurance Against the Great Thirst’, as its name translates to, had been running for 51 years when two brothers took it over from the 85 year old Marguerite upon her retirement at 85 years old, serving her last beer on Christmas Eve 1999.

Maybe you’re still wondering why it’s so special, and you still need a bit of convincing?

Eizeringen locals, brothers Yves and Kurt Paneels restored the pub to its former glory after taking it over from Marguerite; the brothers decided they needed to continue the pub’s tradition in this small village, insuring the locals and guests travelling here from around the world against the great thirst.

The history of the pub and the building it’s housed in is not only what makes it so special, it’s also the beer they serve, as local as the two brothers, lambic, (spontaneously fermented) and lambic-based beers such as geuze and kriek.

It’s native to the areas of the Senne Valley (Brussels), and Pajottenland, the beautiful, fertile and somewhat hilly area encompassing Brussels from the South to the West, the region you’ll find the pub.

This special beer has earned an international respect and following, as has this thirst-quenching lambic and geuze pub that breathes history, a sense of place, all steeped in tradition.

Top beer websites rate the pub highly, even though it has few weekly opening hours and this being a hobby-job for the Paneels. It’s not only the brothers that are doing their part to keep their historical, museum-like pub and this oh-so-special

beer alive, it’s their parents, who also help them out as needed.

This is the sort of place that makes you feel right at home, wishing you had it closer to where you live.

If all else fails, at least you can have them send you some beer from The House of Geuze, located just next door. This secondary business the Paneels brothers also run insures this special, world renowned beer style will continue to be enjoyed, wherever you are. But if you do visit, be sure to order in advance from their site so you can pick up your bottles when you visit.

After you’ve quenched your thirst, your appetite will probably be quite built up - and you’ll be ready for a nice lunch.

Head back to the main road, where you’ll find Bistro Jitho just set back from it, down a graveled driveway leading to an old, well-restored, two-storey country house.

Maitre d’ Jimmy will be there to welcome you warmly upon arrival, seating you promptly even without a reservation, (though I always recommend making one to be sure you’ll be seated), and at a time when most restaurants are closed, between lunch and dinner, they remain in service.

Chef Thomas uses fresh, quality ingredients from the area when possible, improving upon local specialty dishes, and creating variations on classics.

Service is attentive, professional, and you won’t wait long for your lunch. Portions are also surprisingly abundant, so a late lunch at Jitho after visiting the Paneels pub won’t have you wondering what’s for dinner back in Brussels...

If Bistro Jitho was in Brussels, you’d probably be spending 30% more, giving you another reason to enjoy lunch before heading back to the city.

A worthwhile Sunday visit to peaceful Eizeringen, first ‘In de Verzekering tegen de Grote Dorst’, followed by lunch in the peaceful atmosphere of Bistro Jitho’s country home, all surrounded by the beautiful Pajottenland countryside, makes for a relaxing, truly exceptional Sunday getaway. www.dorst.be www.bistro-jitho.be Read more at www.emptywhiskyglass.wordpress.com

Page 27 - Brussels in 30 days

It’s New. It’s Hot. ...And It’s Got The Lot!

Sports * DJs * Cocktails...and more In the heart of downtown Brussels at Rue Grétry, 79 www.roostersbrussels.com

Busy re-inventing...the cup Drinkers around the Brussels squares and parks may have seen a strange phenomonen of late: barstaff carrying a dozen-or-so glasses of beer with minimum effort and, crucially, without splilling a drop.

Here at Bxl30Days we can barely manage to carry our own beer without throwing half of it down the back of some disgruntled punter... But this is STACK-CUP ™ - and we’re only going to use its annoyingly trademarked upper-case name once, so you’d better remember it!

The makers and marketing men stake its claim as a revolutionary, durable plastic cup with what they call a unique handle design. This enables users to safely stack them, beverage-filled, in a spiral pattern and allowing the carrying of many drinks at one time.

The cup is recyclable, re-usable and washable. And it has a stepped, slightly tapered shape that provides extra grip without a hand being near the cup itself - which helps to keep the drinks away from direct body heat and, therefore, cold.

Concerts, festivals, sporting events, stadiums…even house parties and barbecues are the target market - and it’s easy to see why.

From a bar-owner point of view, surely it has to be good. Staff can easily navigate drinks through heaving crowds without the risk of spillage. And there’s no risk of breakage. There should be savings on overheads, increased sales through efficiency and the knock-on effect to customers of speedier service. There’s not so much time spent collecting glasses, either.

And, as a customer, if you’re getting a round of beers in, the trip to the bar will generally be a quicker, easier experience - although the makers don’t guarantee you’ll be served first!

From the point of view of the increasing number of us who like to go ‘Green’, the benefits are obvious.

Ok, it’s plastic, but in eco-friendly terms it certainly minimises waste. Of beer and of cups.

Last, but definitely not least, the makers claim that your

drink will stay colder and fresher - and ‘Amen’ to that, we say.

Those of us who have spent time around, for example, Place du Luxembourg on a busy night will know that the usual disposable cups have become one of the most visible forms of waste.

The makers say that scientific research reveals that the stackable cup provides a more eco-friendly solution and viable alternative to these ordinary, horribly messy plastic cups.

We think they’re right. www.stack-cup.com

Keuken Korner

‘It’s the foodie bit, dahling...’

Something fishy...

By Daphne Wayne-Bough Gonzo claimed it was the best Portuguese restaurant in Brussels, so one rainy night after a few Kwaks with Scouse Doris and new paramour Rupert Posh-Geordie, we staggered up Rue de l’Ecuyer and swung a right into the Ilot Sacré, as that restaurantjammed part of the old town is known.

O Bifanas, on Rue des Dominicains, is tiny but has been recently refurbished – Roopers remembered it as a tiny oilclothtabled cantina in the old days.

Sebastiao Garcia, the boss, has the most fabulous Hercule Poirot style moustache - sadly I didn’t have my camera with me or I would have taken a picture of me fondling it. The menu encompasses meat and fish dishes and, as we were sat by the tropical fishtank, we opted for the latter. The fish in the tank eyed us with disdain, if not downright hatred.

I know little of Portuguese food, but I do know that Bacalao, or salt cod, is very, well, salty. As it was a bit late, we skipped the starter and ordered main courses directly. I opted for the caldeirada de peixe which is a big fish stew. Roopers knew a bit about Portuguese food and ordered the roasted cod for himself and the “bar” or sea bass for Scouse Doris.

We ordered a pitcher of house white to go with it, which came in a most original glass jug which was weighted so as to tip naturally into the correct angle for pouring.

Very clever.

While we waited we were served a complimentary plate of delicious finely sliced raw ham, and a bowl of buttery yellow-green olives sprinkled with rock salt. Salt, decidedly, is an important part of Portuguese cuisine.

Both the white fish dishes came on a rectangular plate with vegetables and beautiful little new potatoes roasted in their skins. My caldeirada, however, was the pièce de résistance. I was first issued with a great big bib adorned with a picture of a lobster. The reason for this became clear

when the dish arrived in a hinged metal cauldron, hence the name I suppose, and Sebastiao unhooked the lid with a flourish to reveal the most beautiful and fragrant stew you have ever seen.

There were lobster claws, there was a king prawn, and lumps of skate, and other white fish, in the most delicious orangetinted broth which would have made a wonderful fish soup on its own.

I was equipped with all the necessary tools – a big spoon for the broth, a knife and fork and a crochet hook for digging into the lobster claws. I prepared to get myself into one delicious mess.

Some half an hour later I emerged from the primeval soup, my bib generously splashed and licking my chops. The creatures in the fishtank had now turned their backs on us in disgust. Two pitchers of the house white had slipped down nicely.

Doris had found her sea bass a bit on the salty side, but Roops enjoyed his cod.

While they went outside for a fag, I mentioned Gonzo to the guv’nor, who beamed broadly, and coffees arrived with a complimentary snifter - three huge glasses of Portuguese brandy. Cheers, Gonzo!

Much as I would have loved a pasteis de nata, I was stuffed. But I shall certainly reserve space next time, and either eat meat or sit further away from the fishtank.

It’s not the cheapest restaurant in town – but situated on R ue des Dominicains alongside Chez Vincent and Scheltema, it wouldn’t be. We paid around €32 a head, without ordering starter or dessert, but got complimentary nibbles and pousse-café.

Sebastiao waved us off, his moustaches curling in the rain. The fishtank bubbles flared briefly with a rude noise.

O Bifanas (Chez Sebastiao) 30, Rue des Dominicains 1000 Brussels Tel: 02 502 25 48 (Closed Sundays) www.daphnesdinners.blogspot.com

Brussels in 30 days - Page 28

Chocolate heaven After some long wanderings around Asia, Laurent Gerbaud has permanently settled down in his own shop in front of Bozar.

His chocolate tastes like travelling around the world. He uses spices, candied fruits and nuts from all over the planet; Piemonte, Sicily, Persia, Shanghai and even Japan.

His choice of ingredients from the best producers and distributors ensure a top product, and his base chocolat comes from Domori, one of the top producers in Europe.

“The chocolate and every ingredient we use are noble and precious: their character can be preserved only through a hand-made treatment.”

The very distinctive logo features a red seal with the word ‘chocolate’ in Chinese. The deep and bright colours help create a distinctive identity to the range and contribute to evoke the world of tastes and travels in store.

Gerbaud’s chocolates are currently sold in more than 50 delicacy stores and specialised tea shops in Brussels, Paris, Berlin, London and other main cities.

Page 29 - Brussels in 30 days

Living the food, living the dream, living the gallery For our second article from the Tasting and Living team, they interviewed Kathryn Smith, together with her husband Ike Udechuku, who started up a ‘living gallery’ space in Brussels: Ampersand House and Gallery. The gallery is a point of departure for a dialogue between collectors, designers and other creative people to get creative juices flowing. Kathryn loves food, art and design - a wonderful combination!

T&L: Kathryn, can you tell us a bit about your professional background and how you ended up in Brussels?

My background is in art and law – but my heart belongs to the creative world. I started early in creative endeavours with my own fashion design business when I was a teenager – hand dyeing silk and antique lace and creating Vionnet-inspired delicate

time, and from there to Brussels. Now, with my husband, Ike Udechuku, we have established a gallery of art and design that brings together many of the artists and designers whose work we have both long-admired.

How would you describe your relationship to food?

Food is intimately connected to love – it is an expression of generosity, abundance, tenderness, indulgence and pleasure offered to others. It is a very personal expression, in a way like serving yourself up on a plate (metaphorically!). Food is also a creative outlet for me. I love to create a scenario or tableau vivant with food, flowers, settings and music so that all the senses are stimulated and memorable experiences are made. My “tableau” are very much informed by art and literature – both places where memories reside and resonate.

Where are your roots in food?

Some of his chocolate can be compared with vintage wines: these wines are made of specific types of grapes which develop different aromas according to their growing soil. The same happens with chocolates: they are made of specific cocoa beans selected for their aromatic and tasting qualities.

This exclusive mix is composed of Trinitario beans (5% of global cocoa production) originating from the Sambirano Valley in Madagascar and of Nacional beans (2% of global production), a Forastero unique of its kind, exclusively grown in Ecuador. The Trinitario beans give the chocolate its richness and aromatic intensity whilst the Nacional beans care for its exceptional length.

Treatment of small quantities of beans (as well as low temperatures during the whole manufacturing process) are essential factors to the preservation of the subtle and unique aromas of those noble cocoas. Not using soy lecithin ensures the mix is closer to the original chocolate recipe.

Gerbaud’s recent acquisition of a praliné machine promises an even more tasty future for his clients.

Laurent Gerbaud Rue Ravenstein Tel: 02 511 16 02 www.chocolatsgerbaud.be More on this at www.tastingandliving.com

‘We can’t resist the African food stall at Flagey’ slips and camisoles. I detoured into serious academic study with art history and law degrees and ended up with a PhD from Cambridge. I had many food-related jobs as a student – from waitress to sous-chef, learning invaluable techniques from some wonderful cooks. I had a small sideline in baking that supplemented my study funds.

After working as a lawyer and an academic in London, we moved to San Francisco where I came full circle and returned to art.

I studied painting at the San Francisco Art Institute where there are the fantastic Diego Rivera murals and worked with a contemporary art gallery. When we returned to London I worked on a variety of wonderful art projects with photographers, architects and designers.

Another move came, to Luxembourg this

Growing up in Australia I have a deeply ingrained love of eating outdoors, barbeques and a very particular spread called Vegemite – something that one can tolerate only if introduced very early in life. It is a black, sticky, salty spread for toast – I know it sounds hideous, but I still carry back a jar each time I go to to Australia!

Australian food is truly international and strongly influenced by the abundance of fresh ingredients and Asian flavours – perhaps its defining quality is its very diversity.

When I think of Australian food I think of David Thompson’s eponymous and meticulous Thai food at one end of the spectrum and traditional Victoria sponge cake at the other, both equally representative of the culinary culture.

Is food important to you?

Food is the perfect combination of necessity and indulgent pleasure and as far as possible the latter should inform the former. Even if sustenance is as simple as a slice of toast, it should be a chance to appreciate delicious bread, a perfect salty butter and confiture to reflect one’s mood.

There are days when the bitter-sweet stickiness of marmalade is desired, others when the ripe fragrance and gleaming jewel-like redness of fraises de bois calls to me. I always search for perfection, or at least optimisation, in even the smallest of things.

Do you cook often?

It varies – when my daughter is home from boarding school I cook a great deal...food and nurturing. We love to go to the Flagey or Chatelain markets together, and often end up with very idiosyncratic combinations of ingredients chosen more for their colour or form than for their practicality.

We can’t resist the African food stall at Flagey where we can buy plantain and spectacular fire engine-red chillies.

For everyday cooking I like either to make a platter of small delicious tastes, or to do a long, slow cook in my heavy Le Creuset casserole. There is something so satisfying about the transformation of raw ingredients into a melting richness after seven hours in the oven.

Do you use family recipes?

My mother is a positive encyclopaedia of recipes and techniques, so the phone line between Brussels and Australia provides a ready connection to the family kitchen. My mother’s banana cake recipe is unbeatable.

What’s your ‘best’ recipe?

My “go to” recipe is Peter Gordon’s Sugar Club chicken with chilli and lemon – unfailingly fragrant and tender, with the surprising transformation of lemons into a sweetly sharp confit.

Best Brussels food place so far?

Le Variété on Place Sainte-Croix at Flagey is a favourite both for the food and the wonderful wood-panelled interior, as well as being perfectly located next to the arts centre.

Ampersand House and Gallery 30 Rue Tasson Snel, Brussels 1060 www.ampersandhouse.com More at: www.tastingandliving.com

Page 31 - Brussels in 30 days

Class in a glass Tony Mallett delves into the history, taste and way of life behind trappist beer Chimay When is a beer not a beer? Answer: when it’s a Trappist. Chimay is one of only seven beers in the world (six of them Belgian, there’s one in the Netherlands) that can genuinely and legally call itself by that name. For the record, just so you can impress your mates, the others are Westmalle, Orval, Rochefort, Westvleteren and Achel. The seventh is Koningshoeven, more commonly known as La Trappe, brewed in the Netherlands.

Contrary to popular belief, Duvel isn’t one.

So now you know.

The nectar that is the world-renowned Chimay is created in a high-tech plant behind the Cistercian abbey of Scourmontlez-Chimay, which in turn is a brief drive, or a longish monk’s plod, to the picturesque village, near the French border south-west of Namur, that gives the beer its name. Old Europe meets New Europe at the abbey?

Definitely, in technology terms at least.

As for its general location, the village of Chimay’s Grand’Place is charming in a rural, off-the-beaten track kind of way.

Underneath the shadow of a church, dotted with terraced cafes and bistros, there are many worse places to soak up the atmosphere on a fine day.

The monks of Scourmont follow the doctrines of a celebrated sixth-century saint named Benedict. Six centuries after the worthy chap shuffled off this mortal coil, the monastery of Citeaux was founded in Burgundy, later to give its name to the order known as Cistercian.

In the 17th century, the Cistercian monks of La Grande Trappe in Normandy embraced austerity in a big way. Against all odds it caught on – et voila, the Order of the Strict Observance, or Trappist, monks was born.

The beautiful Scourmont Abbey is relatively young – 161 years old this year. On 25 July in 1850, Trappists from Westvleteren, near Ypres, set about clearing land donated by the Prince of Chimay in order to farm it.

This they did, selling extra produce to the locals and, along the way, finding time to build an abbey, which now brews the beers and incorporates a cheese-making plant. The cheese is rich and rewarding to taste.

The manual tasks involved in the industries tie in so successfully with the monastic ethos that they are among the largest employers in the region. Crucially, the ‘brothers’ have decision-making powers on the company board and pump euro after euro into social projects in Belgium and abroad.

While the monks spend most of their time in prayer and study in their gorgeous surroundings, they dedicate a few hours each day to ensure that the beer production

runs smoothly in the ultra-modern brewery.

The sight of habit-clad, silent monks wandering piously through the cloisters only yards from the laboratories manned by techie types sporting white lab coats can seem weird. But you can live with it. Well, visit it, at any rate...

While the sun dapples the pathways that gently weave their way through leafy trees and the breeze wafts the delicious scent of blooms across your face, there exists a silence that is more startling than any noise.

Day-trippers will find that the atmosphere at Scourmont is both humbling and uplifting, sometimes enhanced still further by the rare but gentle footfall of a passing monk, head down, hands clasped and mindful of prayer.

The brewery itself is off-limits to casual visitors, being housed so close to a deeply holy order, but they all look the same anyway – trust me. It’s the abbey and the small town itself that are the highlights.

But I’ve missed something out here...what about the beer? Well, here’s a bit of history: the first beer at Scourmont was produced in 1862 and was sold in corked bottles – the height of technology back then. By 1948, drinkers could pour the brew from capped bottles. This original beer – a 7% light, coppery-brown creation – is now shipped across the world. The famous ‘red cap’.

Also in 1948, the ‘bleu’ first saw the light of day. This one weighs in at 9% and was originally intended to be a dark, festive season beer. Prepare to be jolly after a couple of those.

The Holy Trinity became complete with the emergence of the ‘white cap’ in 1966. This, ‘light’ beer (a trifling 8%) has an aroma of the expected fresh hops and a not-so-expected hint of muscat.

To be honest, these beers are not for the faint-hearted but, as they are all created using natural ingredients, the hangovers are at least worthy ones. No nasty chemicals – just good old-fashioned, tasty ale. Adam’s ale, you might say – but just a bit stronger.

While we’re being Biblical, what about the monks? Surely not even the most devout could resist the occasional tipple of the fantastic beverages they play a part in making? No, they can’t resist. Truth is, there’s another brew (not as strong as the ones that you or I would jealously guard in some bar off Brussels’ Grand’Place) that’s tasty and refreshing in its own way.

It’s a lighter version of the ‘famous three’ and the monks enjoy of a glass or two from time to time.

It’s not for sale to the general public, so you’d need to turn Benedictine to partake.

Yes, even among monks, old habits die hard. www.chimay.be

UPYours

Whatever rattles your cage

This column exists to allow readers a bitch and a moan about anything that gets their dander up, so please do email us. For example, we are not particularly fond of crossing the streets in downtown Brussels - or out on the inner ring, come to that.

For two main reasons: the placement of the pedestrian crossings on the corner of junctions and the ridiculous traffic-light system that leaves every single light, in every single direction, on red at the same bloody time.

Pointlessly. For what seems an age.

On the first point, what possessed the planners to make cars come around a busy corner, slap-bang into a red light and a bunch of terrified folk crossing the road? Result, anchors slammed on and the arse of the car hanging out into the oncoming traffic behind it. Then the knock-on effect of the car behind it having to do the same thing etc. Not to mention some Old Dear shitting herself. Move the crossing ten metres further down the street and it’s much less of an issue.

‘Aha!’, some say, ‘but corners are where people want to cross.’ Not if it means some kamikaze pilot on wheels screeching to a halt half-a-metre away because he/she wasn’t expecting a herd of punters and a red light.

On the subject of these - how many of us have stood trying to cross some busy street downtown to find ourselves standing for donkey’s years with no cars coming either way (lights on red) yet still a red light blocking us from setting off? Don’t town planners ever actually live, walk and drive in the conurbations they so royally fuck up?

DISCLAIMER: The views in this e-zine are quite clearly ours and ours alone, or we wouldn’t have bothered expressing them.

The point is, if you or anyone sitting next to you has a complaint about any of the contents herein, please address them to: The Department of Complaints Department (Closed Until Further Notice Section) Tour d’Ivoire Rue des Gullibles 1000 Brussels ...and prepare for a long wait.

Alternatively, give the editor a call on +32 (0)472 280 878 and let him try and sell you a sense of humour. If he picks up.

Email: bxlin30days@gmail.com