January 2015

JEN NA KAHN Mental Health Advocate

Issue No. 11 January 2015

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FEAT URES

THE LOOKS 08 10

B E AU T Y BAR WINTER SKINCARE 101

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WI N T E R ESSE N T IALS

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GO L D E N G I RL ST RAN G E RS I N FAI RYL AN D J E N NA KAH N : M E N TAL H E ALT H ADVOCAT E

CONTENTS LI FE & ENT ERTAI N MENT 38 40 44

F RESH MAN F I L ES WHY I T "S O KAY TO B E SI N G L E I N CO L L EG E E N T E RTAI N M E N T COMING UP D IY CU P I D'S ARROWS

EDITOR’S NOTE

IT'S A NEW SEMESTER; LET'S REJOICE! I’ve always been one to welcome a fresh beginning. Just recently I realized that my personality actually thrives on new starts. Despite the fact that I identify myself as a creative type, I am definitely analytical as well. But that’s a good thing. Think about it: all of my ambitions are driven by creativity but at the end of the day I can analyze what’s working and what’s not.

That’s why when this past December I read The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin for the first time (I know, I know, I’m super late to jump on this bandwagon) I was immediately inspired. Here is a woman with a creative mind, who is deciding to willingly analyze a year of her life in order to improve her happiness. After finishing the book, I knew that I wanted to create my own happiness project for this year.

Although I have not strictly divided up my goals for each month like Gretchen did, I mapped out what I wanted to work on and conquer this year to improve my happiness. So far I’m moving in the right direction.

There’s a lot to work on, but even making tiny steps towards the broad goal is showing improvement.

That’s why I would like to suggest that each and every one of you start your own happiness project for this semester. Map out what you’d like to achieve, whether it be acing that super hard physics course you signed up for or allotting more time for your friends. Check in weekly, or even daily, to make sure that you are taking the steps—even if they are just baby steps—towards achieving those goals.

Even if you aren’t 100 percent perfect with achieving what you wanted, you’ve still made strides towards becoming a happier version of you.

And that is something to cheer about.

Shelby Newsome

Founder & Editor-in-Chief

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As always, we’ve got stellar girls featured in this issue to inspire you! Do you want to work on being more organized this semester? Take a tip from Rebecca Deczynski (page 18). Want to make a social impact? Our cover girl, Jenna Kahn’s, story (page 28) is definitely one to read!

Whatever you do, make sure that what you’re doing is to make you happy not anyone else. Because that is what truly matters in the end.

Would you like to contribute to Tote?

Contact Shelby at shelby@totemag.com

OUR TEAM CONTR I BUTORS Caro Romero

Graphic Designer

Christen Fairley Marketing Intern

Devorah Roberts

Managing Editor

Rachel Parker Photographer

Kayla Anderson Writer

Katie Lemon Writer

Amy Yoelin Writer

Jessica Delves Writer

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HIRING! Looking for a flexible, part-time job? Love being on a team? Become a stylist for Stella & Dot! Contact Christie Moag for more info.

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THE LOOKS Winter Skincare 101 Winter Essentials

WINTER

SKINCARE 101 T EX T: K AY L A A N D E R S O N

If you’re the kind of girl who lives for summer and avidly dislikes the freezing temps of winter, you’re probably even more aggravated when the colder weather begins to take a toll on your skin. Cold weather usually leads to dry skin, which immediately adds a bit of inconvenience to our everyday foundation routines. Have you ever tried to apply a liquid foundation to dry, flaky skin? It. Never. Works. Luckily, we have a few tricks that may save your sanity during the upcoming months!

1. Add a serum 2. Moisturize Serums are great for your skin; they even have a ton of benefits you probably don’t even think about. Typically, you can count on a serum to help regulate your skin from all the irritation we cause it, like impurities, sunburn, and even waxing.

However this serum from Murad hydrates your skin to keep it from feeling dry and tight. While it helps the skin immediately, it also helps protect it long term.

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If you have to splurge on one beauty item every once in a while, it definitely should be a moisturizer. This step is vital in every skincare routine, and having a great moisturizer will definitely be rewarding in the long run.

BEAUTY BAR

Bkr Water Bottle, $30

Kate Somerville Nourish Daily Moisturizer, $65

3. Hydrate You’ve heard it a million times, but drinking the right amount of water each day can really work wonders on not only your skin, but also your whole body! Studies have shown that water can make your skin look healthier and more youthful, but hydrating from the inside is a wonderful way to fight dry skin. If you find it difficult to drink the recommended amount of water each day, try getting a new water bottle to help encourage you!

Murad Sensitive Skin Soothing Serum, $51

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ZEN GARDEN A new semester calls for a Zen attitude. Who wants to start the semester stressed out and strung out? Not me!

Shelby Newsome, Founder and Editor-in-Chief

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WINTER ESSENTIALS 7

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1. I AM Mala Beads, $126, AHAlife 2. Zen Rock Garden Mini Tabletop Set, $9, Amazon 3. Blessed in Beginnings Hamsa Earrings in Silver, $39, Satya Jewelry 4. Great Retreats Yoga by Taschen, $15, Barnes & Noble 5. Aerie Skinny Yoga Pant, $35, American Eagle Outfitters 6. Namaste Bitches Racerback Tank, $44, Activate Apparel 7. Yoga Mat, $35, H&M 8. Zafu and Zabuton Meditation Cushion Set, $90, Sage Meditation 9. Tocca Meribel Limited Edition Candle, $100, Keep.com

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AMETHYST Start looking now for gifts for your February birthday friends!

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CA RO ROMERO, GRA P HIC DESIGNER

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WINTER ESSENTIALS

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1. The Original Classic 40oz Klean Kanteen, $27.95, Klean Kanteen 2. Cosmos Shams, $69.95, Anthropologie 3. Ombre Purple Vase, $23, Etsy 4. Softest Throw - Ombre, $24.99, West Elm 5. Spirited Splendor Sweater, $11.99, ModCloth 6. Amethyst Necklace, $22.14, Etsy 7. Large Amethyst Crystal, $24, Urban Outfitters 8. 4040 Locust Washed Arrow Rug, $29, Urban Outfitters 9. Lilac Urbanears Headphones, $60, Urban Outfitters

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PURPLE PASSION Purple’s a good color for anytime of the year.

It’s perfect for anything and everything.

Devora h Roberts, Ma naging Editor

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WINTER ESSENTIALS

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1. So Happy To Gather Dress in Plum, $50, ModCloth 2. Purple Butterfly Journal, $12, Amazon 3. Dance Instead of Walking Heel in Purple, $40, ModCloth 4. Sephora Collection, Colorful Eye Palette: Flirty to Intense Purple, $25, Sephora 5. Long-lasting 12HR Wear Eye-liner, $12, Sephora 6. Blushed Amethyst Drops, $148, Anthropologie 7. Equestrian Plain Wool Scarf, $78, Ralph Lauren 8. Deer Watercolor Print, $20, Etsy 9. Mini Shoulder Bag, $25, H&M 10. Blush Rose Tea Tumbler, $25, Teavanna 11. Lilac Nail Polish, $3, Forever 21

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LET'S STAY

CONNECTED Join us on all of our social adventures.

FEATURES Golden Girl Strangers in Fairyland Jenna Kahn: Mental Health Advocate

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GOLDEN GIRL T EX T: S H EL BY NEWS OM E P HOTO G RA P HS : REBEC CA DECZ Y N S KI

“It’s been a busy semester,” 20-yearold Rebecca Decyznski says with a laugh. That’s no exaggeration.

The junior at Barnard College took extra-curriculars to the extreme last semester. “… I like being busy. That’s how I work best,” Rebecca says.

As a writer, Rebecca made sure to maximize her semester so she could gain invaluable experience. The English major took a hiatus from her lifestyle blog “Stay Gold, Rebecca” so she could keep up with all the activities. From school pursuits to interning to freelance writing, Rebecca’s semester was nothing short of growth —both personally and professionally.

“I think that the one thing that has been the most important for me is getting started,” Rebecca says.

She landed a much-coveted internship with Nylon magazine in their digital department, which she will continue through the school year.

“Basically, interning at Nylon has been very cool because they’re going through a very expansive period as far as digital goes,” Rebecca says.

“So there’s more freedom for me to pitch my ideas for the website and I come away everyday – I intern two days a week—with writing at least two articles.”

Through the internship, she’s also received opportunities to expand her repertoire. The opportunities at hand? Red carpet events. “One day my editor, she sent me an email and was like, ‘Oh, do you want to go to this red carpet and potentially interview Kristen Stewart on the red carpet?’”

Nylon has opened Rebecca’s eyes to writing assignments other than lifestyle-focused ones, which she is used to writing. “So I was very much set in this sort of lifestyle vibe for what I want to write about,” Rebecca says. “But now Nylon has made

me more interested in entertainment and music. So I’m just continually exploring what exactly I want to write about.”

Rebecca has gained knowledge of the inner workings of a publication through the eyes of an intern at Nylon. However, do a complete one-eighty and you’ll find Rebecca in the opposite seat. This year she is co-editor-in-chief of her school magazine the Barnard Bulletin. Instead of having a supervisor to look up to, Rebecca, alongside her co-editorin-chief, is the one doing all of the supervising. “Our section editors give us 10 pitches per magazine and we sort of pick through and say like ‘okay we’ll go with this,’” Rebecca says. “Or we have to come up with a general theme or a general idea that we really want to cover.”

One of Rebecca’s main focuses with the magazine is to make it more

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I think someti mes you do need to fake some confi dence in order to g et what you want an d then eventually you bui ld up th e con fi den ce on your own.

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substantial. “So we’re covering things like transgender admission at Barnard, which is a very big topic, which the president just sent a statement saying that she’s going to look into,” Rebecca says. “Even just our first issue this year was celebrating the 125th anniversary of my school. So we definitely want to include student voices and student opinions in the magazine.”

Even though Rebecca is constantly switching gears from intern to co-editor-in-chief, she says that both positions are actually very similar. "…You’re both working to create a good product,” Rebecca says.

If interning and running her school magazine weren’t enough, there’s always freelance writing for Bustle.

“I write approximately three articles a week for Bustle, sometimes four,” Rebecca says. She enjoys the professional outlet that Bustle creates for her. “At my school, Carry That Weight is a very big thing because Emma Sulkowicz is a senior at Columbia [affiliated with Barnard College],” Rebecca says. “So there was one day where there was this big day of action going on and my editor emailed me and she said ‘Hey, do you want to cover this.’ So I said yeah and I took my recorder and my camera and I went around all day taking pictures of people carrying mattresses and getting involved in the day of action myself.”

As Rebecca continues to hone her professional skills and writing, this past semester has led her to personal growth as well. “One thing that I also realized this semester is that I thought I was an introvert for so long and then I started being more social and hanging out with my friends. I was like ‘Oh, being around people is very good for me,’” Rebecca says.

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With that said, Rebecca has found a community to thrive in, outside of her writing world. She’s gotten involved with the student theater on campus. “One of my friends here wants to be a costume designer as a career so I was her assistant for a show last semester and then this semester I just got really involved.

It’s a lot of fun,” Rebecca says. “It’s just a very welcoming community, which I think is very important to find in college.”

Having a full plate of schoolwork and activities can be overwhelming.

However, Rebecca makes sure to keep things organized to take away some of the stress. “I got a desk planner that is week by week and so I write down everything that I have that day on each day,” Rebecca says. “I started color coating things: if it’s class, I’ll do it in yellow; student theater things are in purple; and then I write down the articles that I have due for Bustle or if I’m working on something outside for Nylon.” She also has an agenda to carry around with her and syncs her Google calendar to match her paper ones.

Rebecca’s involvement this past semester has definitely been worth it for her. It’s been a rush of excitement.

“I don’t know if there’s been a specific moment but I have these little moments,” Rebecca says. One moment that does stand out is when Rebecca was able to attend the John Wick premiere. “I talked to Keanu Reeves on the carpet and then I had a pretty long conversation with Alfie Allen, who’s on Game of Thrones,” Rebecca says. “I had a mid-term the next day and I was just walking to the subway station about to go back uptown and I just couldn’t stop smiling. It was a moment where I was realizing this is what I want to do and I’m doing it.”

Right now, Rebecca says that her future could hold two paths, both diverging from writing, of course.

One: working for a magazine and climbing the ranks, or two: doing freelance writing and really focusing on her blog. “It could really go either way for me I think,” Rebecca says.

While Rebecca continues to strive towards her dreams, she leaves us with this advice, which she says has really helped her. “I think sometimes you do need to fake some confidence in order to get what you want and then eventually you build up the confidence on your own.”

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STRANGERS IN

FAIRYLAND T EX T: K ATI E L E MO N P HOTO G RA P HS C OURT ESY OF: JOC ELY L N A RNDT

For Jocelyn Arndt, life is all about balance. Specifically, figuring out how to be both a college student and aspiring musician. With a fresh EP out (Strangers in Fairyland) and a full course load at Harvard, it’s safe to say Jocelyn is getting some good practice at what she calls “the Hannah Montana lifestyle, only with a few less sequins.”

When asked just how she does it, Jocelyn told us, “To be honest, sometimes it’s not easy. I’m getting the hang of it, though. I’m a student by day and a musician by night… It’s a lot of work, but in a way the schoolwork makes me appreciate my music even more. I’ve got the best emotional escape I could ask for.”

Levelheaded and articulate, it could help that Jocelyn’s not exactly new to being a musician.

Along with her brother Chris, who also attends Harvard, Jocelyn has

been honing her craft for quite some time. The Arndt siblings got started in music when they were just in middle school.

“We were in a cover band called ‘The Dependents’ with some buds. After a couple of years playing other artists’ songs, I guess we decided writing our own was the next step in our creative process.

We sat down and wrote a song, and we’ve been writing ever since.”

With Chris providing a lot of the rhythm patterns and chord progressions and Jocelyn working out lyrics and the melody, the brother-sister duo have songwriting down to an art. “It sounds cheesy, but I couldn’t ask for a better writing partner. Our ideas complement each other in a way that’s both melodic and unexpected. We make a really good musical team.”

However, Jocelyn’s passion for music comes from even before that, stemming from her childhood and the warm memories of growing up. “Music started out as a family passion, and it will always be that, first and foremost. My brother and I grew up listening to the shelves of CDs my parents had collected; from the beginning Mom and Dad were a really big part of our musical lives, and it’s still like that. Our parents were our first audience, and they’re still the first to hear our new songs and tell us what they think. We live and breathe music as a family unit; it keeps us together.”

With this in mind, it makes sense that Jocelyn and Chris look to their real lives for musical inspiration. But the Arndt’s take it a step beyond the usual sources of inspiration such as love and loss. “Chris and I both draw inspiration from everything around us. Television shows, a visit to the grocery store, tote

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being frustrated at forgetting email passwords… we don’t ever write anything off as ‘too lame to be a song’ because anything can transform into music with a little coaxing. I think sometimes the best songs come from unexpected sources.”

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Because of this, Jocelyn confesses, “sometimes a song comes out easily, and sometimes it takes a little more muscle, but the process is always fun. Plus, the fact that Chris and I are brother and sister always keeps us from taking each other too seriously; the diva factor is pretty low.”

When it comes to Jocelyn’s own music taste these days, she says, “I’m inspired by big, distinctive voices. I love it when you can hear a singer belt out a few notes and know exactly who they are on the spot. With that in mind, Janis Joplin, Aretha Franklin, Beyoncé,

Grace Potter, and Pat Benatar are some of my faves. Chris loves that classic ‘70’s guitar sound, so he digs listening to bands like Led Zepplin, Steppenwolf, Little Feat, and Lynyrd Skynyrd.”

When listening to Strangers in Fairyland, this all suddenly makes sense. Jocelyn’s vocals soar powerfully over heavy guitar riffs and catchy beats. She’s got a message and she’s not afraid to let you hear it. This informs Jocelyn and Chris’s sound which they like to call “indie blues-rock. Sometimes there’s a little pop mixed in there, but everything has a kind of retro undertone.”

For her EP, this distinct sound displays itself very clearly, especially because Jocelyn has a personal connection with all of the music she writes. That being said, she told us, “my personal favorite is Cinderella. The lyrics to that one came really easily, and I’m sure it’s because I can really relate to the message behind the song.

It’s all about the way fairy tales don’t always work out in real life.

Sometimes that glass slipper just doesn’t fit, and it’s up to us to solve our own problems without waiting for a prince or a fairy godmother to solve them for us.”

The Arndt siblings are passionate about the music they create. This new EP has been a long work in progress that Jocelyn and Chris couldn’t be more excited to share with the world.

thing, and the result is an album that we’re both really, really proud of. The music here is passionate, bluesy, wild, and a little out of the ordinary, but we wouldn’t have it any [other] way. This is the two of us in musical form, and we’d love if you’d share in the fun with us.”

When talk turned to the future, Jocelyn seemed determined. “I’m hoping to take this music as far as it can go. Maybe that means winning a Grammy someday, and maybe it means writing songs that my parents and friends will still enjoy listening to 10 years from now. No matter what, I’m just going to keep pushing my hardest. As long as I love music as much as I do, I’m going to work to pursue it.”

Inspired by her work ethic and passion, we asked Jocelyn if she had any parting words of advice for fellow collegiate musicians.

“Make time for your music! If music is important to you, make sure you don’t let it slip by the wayside. Even a half hour here and there where you can spare it won’t go unrewarded. Plus, you’ll be a much happier, much saner student when you’re also making time to do what you love. That goes for college women, too— you should never let anything get in the way of your passion. Carve out a few hours of your time whenever you can to be yourself.

You’re important.”

"Strangers in Fairyland is a musical summary of our creative lives— we’ve poured our hearts into this

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JENNA K A HN:

MENTAL HEALTH

ADVOCATE

Text: DEVORAH ROBERTS • Photographs: RACHEL PARKER

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For Jenna Kahn, a Towson University sophomore, blogging isn’t just about GIFs or random cat pictures. It’s a way to personally explore mental disorder. The 19-year-old has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, rapid cycling, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), and psychosis not otherwise specified.

In her entry, “Walk a Mile in My Shoes,” Jenna writes, “My website is meant to be a sort of virtual walk in my shoes. I want to better illustrate the depth of depression, the wildness of mania, the frustration of OCD, and the confusion of psychosis with my words.”

Jenna first created her blog around five years ago, under the name, The Awkward Indie Girl Blog. “… Because that’s what people called me when I moved to America [from Germany] because I wore band t-shirts and skinny jeans and people didn’t know how to process that, so I was just The Awkward Indie Girl because I wouldn’t talk to anyone,” she explains.

It started as a fashion blog, where Jenna would dress up, make outfits, and take pictures as an outlet. But soon it wasn’t enough.

“And then it just wasn’t fulfilling for me personally,” she says. “I enjoyed it, but I had a real tough time. And then when I was diagnosed with bipolar, I thought this is a chance for me to change my blog and kind of make it about my life and help other people.”

on seven quick mood changes, like if you’re feeling down or if you’re cycling, what you can do to switch your mood. Or even like, I’ll sometimes talk about faith and spirituality or exercise, all the aspects of your life that are affected by mental illness,” she says.

The blog’s title has also changed from The Awkward Indie Girl Blog to Jenna Kahn: Mental Health Advocate.

As a mental health advocate, Jenna wants to have a voice and share her story, so that ultimately, other people may feel comfortable sharing theirs.

Jenna also hopes that other students will realize that people with mental illness are just like everyone else, and much more common than they would think.

Jenna says if students want to become mental health advocates, they should first educate themselves, and be willing to begin and participate in the conversation.

“I think it’s important to fight that stigma that we’re not supposed to fight that mental health. It can be something we discuss openly. Mental illness is so pervasive, it’s like in every aspect of your life, so if you can’t talk about it, you’re limited in so many places. My goal is to kind of fight that, I guess,” Jenna says.

Now, Jenna uses her blog to discuss a variety of experiences.

However, her blog isn’t the only place Jenna advocates for mental health.

She also works for Towson University’s Active Minds group on campus, where the group tries to begin healthy conversations about mental health at their meetings and raise awareness at their events. And hopefully, Jenna will continue to work for Active Minds’ national organization after she graduates.

“It’s not quite a journal, but I’ll explain some of my moods… I just did one

“I just feel like the next step for me to continue to spread awareness is

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getting involved in national organizations. Like right now, I do everything myself with my blog, but I would love to make some connections and kind of move forward with that,” she says.

Jenna’s dreams don’t end there; she also wants to travel to high schools and colleges to speak about mental health.

“I would love to write a book, maybe a couple books. Let’s dream big, right?” she says. “I just want to get this message out to as many people as possible.”

But, as for anyone suffering from mental illness, it hasn’t always been easy. When her depression hits, getting out of bed is sometimes impossible.

“I can’t take care of myself appropriately. I’ll lash out at people I love, I won’t get along with my mom, I’ll be fighting with my dad. Stuff like that.

And I won’t go to class. That’s like my number one, something’s wrong, when I don’t go to class,” she says.

Due to this, there were times when she thought she would have to drop out of college.

“Two semesters out of the three I’ve been here, I had to take an incomplete in a class. Just because at the end of the semester, I’ve been hospitalized both those semesters, so it just gets to be too much,” she says.

With the help of her professors, Jenna has managed to fight her mental illness, and continue striving toward her goals. “… I thought I couldn’t do it. I just thought, I’m sick, I can’t go to school. But my professors kind of rallied with me and were like, you can do this, we’ll make it work,” she says.

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Mental i llness is so pervasive, it’s li ke i n every aspect of your li fe, so i f you can’t talk about it, you’re li m ited in so many places. My goal is to fi ght that.

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She says her support system has truly helped her battle her disorders: “I would say that one of the number one people that’s really helped me is my roommate. She’s fully aware of my situation; she respects my moods, if that makes sense. She doesn’t try to fix it, but she lets me know she’s there for me the whole time.”

While there’s no cure for her illness, Jenna is learning how to manage it. “… And that’s basically all you can do,” she says. “Because there’s no cure, so it’s just learning how to deal with, how to use resources appropriately and how to have support.”

To get past her worst days, Jenna will make an appointment with her therapist and try to combat her negative thoughts. “… I’ll try to say, like oh how can I fight this? Is this not rational? And then try to move on from there.”

Jenna advises anyone with mental illness to advocate for themselves and for their needs. “If you know you need extra support right now, ask for it,” she says.

That’s advice we can definitely get on board with.

check out Jenna's blog here!

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TEAM

TOTE Looking to expand your resume and gain invaluable experiences to help propel your career?

Join Team Tote!

INTERN

Interested in learning about the inner workings of an online publication? Join Tote’s team and have the opportunity to work on various aspects of the magazine. We currently have internships available for editorial, graphic design, web design, and social media. Related majors are preferred. Contact Shelby at shelby@totemag.com with a resume.

CONTRIBUTE

Do you love to write? Submit a sample writing along with feature ideas to Shelby at shelby@totemag.com to be considered. You’ll gain opportunities to write for upcoming issues and posts on the website.

BECOME A BRAND AMBASSADOR

We’re kicking off our Brand Ambassador program! If you’re a marketing major or super outgoing and social, we want you! Gain experience in promotions and networking and become a vital role within our team.

Interested in applying? Submit a resume to Shelby at shelby@totemag.com to learn more about the program.

LI FE & ENTERTAINMENT Why It's Okay to be Single in College Coming Up DIY

WHY IT'S OKAY TO BE

SINGLE IN COLLEGE T EX T: A M Y YOELIN

It seems, at least from my perspective, when college first began (and I mean the minute after parents left their children alone), people immediately hooked up, met up, or partnered up. The two people involved in these actions would become attached to each other like Gorilla Glue—not coming apart or separating for any circumstances. Of course, entering college single, I knew I didn’t want a relationship, especially when I was still practically a virgin to my new and thrilling college lifestyle!

Prior to starting college, I had little to no experience in intimate partnerships with the opposite sex. Rather, I read about these encounters in various novels or listened to my friend’s experience. Additionally, I have spent a majority of my life around men who identify as gay and girls who are among my closest friends.

Honestly, I’m glad I was single in middle and high school. Because of my nonexistent relationship 38

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status, I was able to socialize with more people, instead of only one person. I never felt the need to do anything that I wasn’t ready to do. Moreover, I’m now capable to survive and endure the single lifestyle (which personally consists of constant Netflix binges and Ben and Jerry’s Half-Baked ice cream).

During the second weekend of college, a guy approached me, with the intent of starting a relationship. I had no idea what to do, what to say to him. Did my armpits stink when he was around me? Did I wash my hair that day?

How did I look—grunge chic or hipster impersonating? While nothing actually happened with him, it made me realize: I don’t want to be occupied with any person at this moment in time.

How am I supposed to be with someone when, frankly, I still do not know who I am?

Is that gasps I hear from you, reader? Don’t worry: I have an explanation. For me, I came to col-

lege with a plethora of objectives, one of which included discovering myself. While it sounds horribly cliché, even being away from home for less than six months, I’ve truly gotten a hint of my identity.

While it is not fully developed, at least I’m starting to realize the type of person I am. Having a relationship, in my opinion, would have hindered me from my personal epiphany.

Maintaining a relationship can be a demanding commitment. Yes, it is great that one person is able to meet another person and form a mutual bond, but being in a relationship requires dates, hanging out time, and more. The time one denotes to a partner could be spent being active in clubs, socializing with more people, or even establish alone time. College has been a whirlwind of surprises and differences. At some point, in order to sustain sanity, one has to devote time to him/herself. Yes, it does sound depressing to sit in a dark room without anyone with

FRESHMAN FILES

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MAKE SURE YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH THE PERSON YOU ARE WITH. ADDITIONALLY, YOU HAVE TO FEEL CONTENTED WITH YOURSELF. OWN YOUR PERSONALITY! KNOW WHO YOU ARE AS A PERSON!

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you, but at the same time, it is relaxing and a good tension reliever.

The relationship itself can be stressful. Outside sources (i.e. anxious friends and eager family members) can impede on you and your companion’s life. This adds a strain, which can lead to various problems erupting. I remember a friend told me that in college you either break up or marry the person you’re with. Think about it!

That’s extremely nerve-wracking!

While some people may have already started to think about marriage, for me, at this time the idea of it is laughable. I have my whole life ahead of me. Who says I need a partner to join me along the way?

Furthermore, from speculation of countless romance novels and daily encounters, to be in a relationship, you have to be stable, both physically and emotionally (emphasis on this factor). If you aren’t to that potential, the relationship becomes meaningless. You aren’t able to fully give yourself to

another person. So, what would be the basis for the partnership?

There wouldn’t be any.

Personally, since I haven’t quite fully understood or developed my personality, I wouldn’t be able to wholly give myself to someone else. After I’ve discovered who I am as an individual, then I will have the ability to commit myself to another person. Following that process, the relationship has the chance to thrive.

My advice: Make sure you feel comfortable with the person you are with. Additionally, you have to feel contented with yourself. Own your personality! Know who you are as a person! Combine all of those, and presto, the relationship is fully ready to be active.

Most importantly: It’s okay to be single in college! There should be no pressure to date. Rather, the most stressful component to college should be the strenuous papers and challenging exams! tote

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LOVETAP! Smallpools February 3 The funky indie pop band behind hits like “Dreaming” and “Mason Jar” are finally coming out with a full length album and we couldn’t be more excited. If you’re a fan of the likes of Passion Pit or The Mowgli’s we’re guessing they could be your new favorite band. The four-piece group is promising big sounds and catchy beats and we trust they’ll deliver.

SMOKE & MIRRORS Imagine Dragons February 17 While “Smoke + Mirrors” is their second studio album, the guys of Imagine Dragons are stepping things up by self-producing the album at their own studio. The Vegas-based rock band crashed into the music scene with a bang in 2013, getting dubbed “the year’s biggest breakout band” by MTV. If their enticing new single “Gold” is any inclination, “Smoke + Mirrors” is sure to rocket these cuties even higher on the charts.

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MUSIC

COMING UP

TEXT: KATIE LEMON

ENTERTAINMENT

REBEL HEART Madonna March 10

MOVIES

Madonna: queen of our hear ts and princess of pop, forever.

Her thir teenth (that’s right) studio album encapsulates the ever-changing process of Madonna’s career. With promises of more synth beats and EDM inspiration, we can’t wait to see how the best-selling female recording ar tist of all time surprises us with “Rebel Hear t.”

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY February 13 We’ve all seen it coming, and some of us may even have a countdown running. Yes, ladies, the movie adaptation of the ridiculously popular “Fifty Shades of Grey” novel is officially coming out February 13th. Our plan? To spend this Valentine’s Day in GNO style with all of our closest (and naughtiest) girlfriends.

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CINDERELLA March 13 There’s nothing better than a beautiful revamp of an all-time classic! This new “Cinderella” is a live-action portrayal of everyone’s favorite fairytale.

We’ll trust you know the basic storyline, but we must add that Lily James and Helena Bonham Carter star in this masterful flick of love and magic and happily-ever-after’s. So whether you need a bonding activity with your little cousins or you’re seeking a dazzling remake of your childhood, “Cinderella” is a must-see for us all.

FOCUS February 27 Will Smith plays the super-smooth and conniving Nicky: ladies man by day, full blown con ar tist by night. While mentoring Jess, a witty young lady new to the con game, the two fall for each other.

However, Jess gets too close for Nicky's comfor t and he suddenly breaks it off. Fast forward three years later : Jess is a cunning but spurned femme fatale and Nicky's working on his riskiest operation yet. All he has to do is stay focused, but that can be tough when your ex-lover is determined to see you fail.

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BOOKS

Jam! ON THE VINE LaShonda Barnett February 3 If history is your jam, this gripping historical fiction will keep you burning through the pages until you’re finished. Based on the true story of Ivoe Williams, “Jam! On The Vine” follows Ivoe and her lover Ona as they flee the Jim Crow South and start the first ever female-run African American newspaper. The pair risk all during the Red Summer of 1919—a time of increased lynchings and violence against African Americans—to call out the injustice of racism and the American legal system.

THe UNFORTUNATE IMPORTANCE OF BEAUTY Amanda Filipacchi February 16 Calling all chick-lit lovers, this new Filipacchi book will have you rolling on the floor in a fit of laughter. Barb and Lily are a set of misguided but totally lovable best friends who each have their own quirks: Barb wears a fat suit in order to find her dream man and Lily suppresses her wit to woo the shallow man she loves.

Oh, and on top of all that, one of them may be a murderer.

FUNNY GIRL Nick Hornby February 3 It’s the 1960’s, and Sophie Straw is the down to earth and ingenious comedy star wooing all of London. Surrounded by a cast of bizarre and endearing characters, the former small town English girl learns how to be the megastar she is, all while juggling life and love in the bustling and swinging city. But when art begins to imitate life a bit too much for Sophie’s comfort, will the show go on?

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DIY

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CUPID'S

ARROWS T EX T & P HOTOGRA P HS : JES SICA DELV ES

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DIY

TOOLS AND SUPPLIES: Felts • Twines • Scissor • One whole puncher Glue gun • Wine box • Water color paper • Scrap paper Washi tapes • Paper cutter • Water color paint Brush • Wood sticks

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STEP

1:

Draw feathers and triangle shapes for your stencils.

STEP

2:

Use your stencils to cut your shapes on the felt sheets.

STEP

3:

Glue the felt pieces to the stick to create the arrow.

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STEP

4:

Cut some lines through the feathers. Then Tape some washi tapes on the sticks.

STEP

5:

Wrap some twines around the stick.

STEP

6:

Cut some water color paper. 2x2 inches.

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STEP

7:

Punch a hole through the water color paper.

STEP

8:

Type or write love/friendship quotes on the water color papers, then paint them.

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STEP

9:

Tie the note onto the stick.

STEP

10:

Make about 4 tassels.

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STEP

11:

Tie them together.

STEP

12:

Wrap twines around the wine box.

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STEP

13:

Last but not least, glue the last twine to make a handle for the wine box.

STEP

14:

Glue the tassels and Happy Valentine's Day tag on the wine box.

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DIY

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ENDNOTE

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