Edgars Club Magazine February 2018 - Self Love is the best Love

PHOTOGRAPHY: CHRIS ALLAN PHOTOGRAPHY

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Al fresco fare/romantic Africa/secrets to self-love

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We embark on a culinary journey to the Mediterranean with fresh and scrummy meals that are perfect for al fresco dining (P70), discover a few of Africa’s most idyllic romantic getaway destinations (P76) and get inspired by body-positive spokeswoman with vitiligo, Boitumelo Rametsi (P62).

PHOTOGRAPH: THOBILE NHLAPO

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Self- LOVE is the

best LOVE Nkgabi Motau explores the meaning of loving oneself alongside proud and body-positive vitiligo spokeswoman Boitumelo Rametsi

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t’s Sunday and I have a hot date with one of Joburg’s most interesting people.

It promises to be a date full of love. I’m not talking about that chocolate-heart-andmechanised-teddy kind of love. I’m talking about that facemask on a Tuesday kind of love. That follow through with your workout kind of love. That ‘I am starting with the man in the mirror’ kind of love. Yes, the greatest love of all, self-love.

I am meeting the coolest part of my weekend, Boitumelo Rametsi, the vitiligo and body-positive spokesmodel known as Boitumelo Spotted. I arrive flustered with the nervousness of meeting someone far above your coolness rung and I offer a strange wave before I sit down. By the time I have caught my breath, completed my awkward greeting and ordered my coffee, I look up, and across from me is this bright ray of sunshine.

Boitumelo is patiently waiting for me to calm down and actually make eye contact. On her face is the most darling of smiles and an artistic arrangement of spots. She is gorgeous. The first thing I am struck by is her radiant energy. I’m not particularly skilled at ‘feeling’ energies and fixing feng shui, but I felt this woman. She is tall, calm and welcoming in nature. I start with a painful bit of small talk, which she indulges with grace, and, eventually, I get the old gabengine revving.

SPOTTED BEAUTY

Boitumelo is one half of an activist duo called Spotted Beauty. She and Tevin Fynn are passionate about raising awareness about vitiligo and people who suffer from this skinpigment condition. What stands out about the two of them is that, unlike many others who are trying to raise funds for cures and treatment, this

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that was given to me. I am also an inner being. We often attribute so much importance to our bodies, as if that is all that we are. But it really isn’t. The person inside is bigger than your physical appearance. Consider the word ‘yourself ’. It literally means your self, as in one of the things you own. This means that you must be a much bigger being than just your body. Isn’t that an exciting thought?

I often think to myself, ‘So, what do you plan to do with your self? You have the power to do anything.’

WHAT IS SELF-LOVE?

To me, it’s a daily experience, because, as a person with vitiligo, I don’t look the same every day.

I have to love a new version of myself daily and that takes a lot of practice.

There’s also the fact that, as a woman, your body changes, you gain weight and you lose weight – we deal with a lot of things.

Commercial beauty, in general, is largely defined by society. For me, self-love is finding ways to define it for yourself.

HOW DO YOU DEFINE HAVING LOVE FOR YOURSELF?

I feel like it’s really customising life for yourself. It’s you being OK with yourself and waking up to appreciate yourself. Recently, I looked at myself in the mirror and realised that this is just the vessel

EDGARS CLUB FEBRUARY 2018

WHAT HAS YOUR CONDITION, VITILIGO, TAUGHT YOU ABOUT LOVING YOURSELF?

Vitiligo makes one sit up and notice their skin. Recently, I dyed my hair blonde, which really highlighted the lightness of my scalp. That was traumatic for me, considering that I never knew that the vitiligo had spread that far. It’s a gruelling, ongoing journey, but it teaches me that I can’t run away from myself. I must stay in the moment and accept myself.

WHAT WAS ONE OF YOUR BIGGEST PERSONAL WINS?

I recently did an underwear shoot for an online publication. Imagine my fear. I have vitiligo, stretch marks and I’m a big girl – basically everything that society says is wrong.

Despite my fears, I went for it and learnt that the more you nurture your acceptance, the better life becomes. I had to overcome the anxiety of walking around half naked in front of all the strangers on set and the even bigger anxiety of the thousands of people that will see the article. It was a big win for me.

WHY IS STAYING BODY POSITIVITE SO IMPORTANT?

The journey of self-acceptance is an ongoing one. When I think about my weight, I realise that I was never satisfied with my body at any one time growing up. I have only ever appreciated my body in retrospect when I start to dislike my current body. I never lived in the present.

That is crazy! I want to be able to love and appreciate the version of me that I am right now instead of waiting a few more years to say how great I used to look. If I can help others in the process, that’s a bonus.

WHAT PRACTICAL TOOLS HAVE HELPED YOU GET TO A PLACE OF SELF-ACCEPTANCE?

I love taking lots of pictures. And this has forced me to really look at myself, to discover what makes me beautiful. I also meditate, using that time to replenish myself and reflect.

I try to let out my feelings through writing or speaking out about it on social media. People have said really nasty things to me in the past, and speaking about it is what freed me from the pain. I also recommend resources like Deepak Chopra’s free online 21-Day Meditation Experience, Thich Nhat Hanh’s The Miracle of Mindfulness and taking loads of relaxing baths.

By the end, this beautiful young woman has taught me so much.

Learning to love and accept yourself makes you into the most lovable version of yourself. If you love you, why wouldn’t someone else? Ask me.

I am in love with Boitumelo!

PHOTOGRAPH: THOBILE NHLAPO

LUSI : RE ATILE M OA PH OTOG RA PH

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pair want to remain as they are and live life to the fullest, encouraging the rest of the world to do the same.

When she explains this, there’s a kind of rebelliousness in it that I recognise and I am totally bewitched by her charm from that moment on. Who better to have a chat with about what self-love truly means?

After talking for a little while, I am relaxed enough to start asking some of the more meaningful questions of the day:

‘Commercial beauty, in general, is largely defined by society. For me, self-love is finding ways to define it for yourself’

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Boitumelo Rametsi and Tevin Fynn are the vitiligo activist duo known as Spotted Beauty