February 2020 by Transformation Coaching Magazine

FEED YOUR SPIRIT Live Everyday Life as a Spiritual Journey INSPIRATION & GROWTH Learn the Evidence: Life Continues After Physical Death Celebrate the Goddess of Love Love, Magic and Perspective How to Find the Love of Your Life A Valentine’s Day Tribute 4 Pillars of Love Attraction A Lesson While Failing A Lesson in Tolerance The Four Lenses

PUBLISHERS Natalie Rivera Joeel A. Rivera, M.Ed.

EDITOR Lisa Cedrone

CONTRIBUTORS Noelle Sterne, Mark Pitstick, Arielle Giordano, Terez Hartmann, Alan Cohen, Gregg Sanderson, Anna Simspon, Jo Mooy, Mary Boutillier, Dr. Bryan Hawley

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Live Everyday Life as a Spiritual Journey

Photo Credit: Unsplash/Austin Ban

By Noelle Sterne Over a casual glass of wine with a friend, I steered the conversation to one of my favorite topics, spirituality. After my second eloquent sentence, she burst out, “Oh, I don’t have time to be spiritual!” I started to clarify, but she changed the subject to her impossible office job. Like a good spiritual practitioner, I accepted her choice and, while she complained, kept repeating to myself Namaste. Later I snuck back to the topic of spirituality and asked my friend why she didn’t have time. Much too busy, she said—with work/husband/ children/life—to go to church, chanting class, retreats, or any of the other many spiritual activities she saw in the back of her neighborhood paper. How many of us feel this way? We have all the greatest intentions (“I promise!”) to meditate every morning for 20, 15, even 5 minutes. What happens? We oversleep, just manage to corral the kids to breakfast and out the door so they won’t be late, throw last night’s laundry from the washer to the dryer, pull on passable office clothes and rush out the door for work, remember keys, glasses, phone, laptop, briefcase, shoes. How do we get—or make—time for spirituality? Granted, it’s a choice, and conscious rituals can help. A personal trainer I knew devoted a small corner room in his house to meditation, complete with low alter, candles, photos of mandalas on the walls, and two mats. A real estate agent friend goes out to the seashore early every morning, sits on a bench, and meditates before she opens the office. A neighbor, mother of three small children, signed up for a weekly class in chanting and meditation. It was the only way,

she said, she could focus inside rather than stopping fights, soothing scrapes and pouring endless paper cups of juice. Are such rituals the only way? Are they our admission tickets to spirituality, heaven, or enlightenment? Not always, not at all.

THE TRUE ESSENCE OF SPIRITUALITY

The Anglican mystic Evelyn Underhill (1875-1941) tells us: “The spiritual life does not begin in an arrogant attempt at some peculiar kind of otherworldliness, a rejection of ordinary experience. It begins in the humble recognition that human things can be very holy, full of God; whereas high-minded speculations about His nature need not be holy at all.” (Lent With Evelyn Underhill, 2nd edition, 2004, London and New York, Continuum, p. 40) In a similar vein, Joel Goldsmith, the brilliant midtwentieth-century metaphysical teacher and author, says we needn’t expect any greater transformative experiences in “holy mountains or in temples than we would find if we were praying in our garden or at home or in our living room . . . . [We can] pray wherever we are—in the home, on the street, in the air, under the water, in church or out.” (The Thunder of Silence, New York, Harper & Row, 1993, p. 142) Unity minister Paul John Roach writes about the extraordinary spiritual connection he felt even in boyhood to the countryside of Wales (“Beholding Heaven on Earth,” http://www.unity.org/resources/articles/beholdingheaven-earth). Yet he quotes Rabbi Jamie S. Korngold (God in the Wilderness, New York, Three Rivers Press, 2008), who acknowledges the uplifting inspirations of nature but says also, “You can have a similar awe experience watching rain on a city windowsill.” (p. 108)

The mainstream too rides the meditation train, in print and electronically. In just one of the many articles out now, a Woman’s Day article called “Meditate Anywhere,” Abigail L. Cuffrey lists how a busy mother can meditate: in the shower, washing dishes, waiting to pick up the kids, just before a meal. (http://www.womansday.com/health-fitness/ stress-management/meditate-anywhere-112325) Mother or other, if you’re still too frazzled with daily duties, Zen master Laurence Do’an Grecco suggests more excuse-proof and outrageous opportunities to meditate. His “Seven Ways to Meditate Anytime, Anywhere (Even If You’re The Busiest Person On Earth)” lists them (http://www. theidproject.org/blog/lawrence-grecco/2012/06/12/sevenways-meditate-anytime-anywhere-even-if-you%E2%80%99rebusiest-person-e): • Smartphone Practice: Set your phone alarm several times during the day and pause, even for a few seconds, to become aware of your breath. • The Lay-Away Method: Again, stop a very few times a day, even for a single minute, and focus on one thing. • Post-It Practice: Stick up post-its or other striking visuals in different places. When one catches your eye, pause for a few seconds to connect with yourself. • Pissing Practice: Self-explanatory. At least you’re alone (choose a stall). • Street-Walker Meditation: Not that one, but when you’re walking, feel what it’s like to walk. Be wholly there, whenever and wherever you’re walking. • Eating Meditation: Don’t read, text, repeat lists in your head, or stare at the people at the other tables. Just concentrate on the food in front of you, each taste and texture.

• Keyboard Practice: Yes, now it’s OK to text, type, or punch numbers into an ATM. Center your attention on the sensations of your fingertips.

WHAT WE NEED

Whatever methods appeal to us, in a meadow or the middle of the mall, near a waterfall or in a water closet, Grecco shows us we don’t need to go anywhere or perform special rituals to complete that mysterious thing called meditation. He says, “It’s simply about being fully aware of what your mind is doing . . . , and this is something you can do at any given moment. “ We only need to be where we are.

WANT TO START?

Wherever you are, stand, sit, or lie down. Close your eyes or open them. Be dirty or clean, dressed or undressed, having accomplished something or done nothing. Be alone or in a crowd. So, 30 seconds standing anywhere. One minute sitting anywhere. Three minutes lying down anywhere. Four minutes walking anywhere. Watch your breath or repeat a word you like. That’s all you need. I sent my harried friend a draft of this piece. She phoned the next day and, in a very quiet voice, said, “Thank you. I needed this. I had all the wrong ideas about spirituality.” I almost cried. Then she said, “Gotta hang up. While the kids watch their cartoons, I’m going out to the garage to meditate.”

Trust Your Life Now with Noelle Sterne, Ph.D. Noelle Sterne is an author, editor, academician, writing coach, mentor, and spiritual counselor. She has published over 600 pieces in print and online venues. Noelle’s invited blogs on Author Magazine’s “Authors’ Blog” on writing, creativity, and spirituality can be found at http://www.authormagazineonline.wordpress.com/. A spiritually-oriented chapter appears in Transform Your Life (Transformation Services, 2014). A story was published in Chicken Soup for the Soul: Touched by an Angel (2014), and another in a Tiny Buddha collection (HarperOne, 2015). One of Noelle’s stories appears in the recent Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Forgiveness Fix. With a Ph.D. from Columbia University, for 30 years Noelle has assisted doctoral candidates to complete their dissertations (finally). Based on her practice, her handbook for graduate students helps them overcome largely ignored but equally important nonacademic difficulties in their writing: Challenge in Writing Your Dissertation: Coping with the Emotional, Interpersonal, and Spiritual Struggles (Rowman & Littlefield Education, 2015). In Noelle’s book Trust Your Life: Forgive Yourself and Go After Your Dreams (Unity Books, 2011), she draws examples from her academic consulting and other aspects of life to help readers release regrets, relabel their past, and reach their lifelong yearnings. Her webinar about the book can be seen on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95EeqllONIQ. Deserving her next Dream, Noelle is completing her second novel. Her website: http://www.trustyourlifenow.com.

Learn the Evidence: Life Continues After Physical Death

Photo Credit: Unsplash/Marc Olivier Jodoin

WHAT IS GREATER REALITY LIVING?

The term greater reality living describes how you might choose to live as you expand your awareness of reality, which is defined as the state of things as it actually exists. Because so much of reality escapes the five physical senses, you likely have viewed life as if through a tiny pinhole and then wondered why things don’t make sense. As the old saying goes, “There is much more to life than meets the eye.” If you are now inspired to expand your perception and take action in your own life, the Greater Reality Living model outlined in this series of Transformation Coaching articles provides a roadmap to: 1) Learn That Consciousness Survives Physical Death 2) Internalize This Great News 3) Vitalize Your Body, Mind and Spirit 4) Enjoy the Many Benefits of Greater Reality Living 5) Serve Others and Make the World a Better Place I designed this LIVES model to prepare people for optimal living after learning about the findings of Gary E. Schwartz, Ph.D., who directs the Laboratory for Advances in Consciousness and Health at the University of Arizona. He is a Harvard graduate, former Harvard and Yale professor, and author of nine books including The Afterlife Experiments and The Sacred Promise. I also started the nonprofit SoulPhone Foundation (http://www.SoulPhone.org) to help fund research and development for the SoulPhone Project, which includes a reliable and highly accurate SoulSwitch (yes/no), which is being used in the production of the SoulKeyboard that will enable texting and typing with post-material (deceased) persons. This will greatly increase the quality and quantity of communication with “departed” loved ones and “deceased” scientists, inventors, and others who want to help us improve life on Earth. Replicated, multi-center, university-based scientific studies for the SoulPhone technology have just recently—for the first time in human history— definitively demonstrated that death is NOT the end of life.

"Speaking as a scientist, I am now 99.9 percent certain that life continues after the hu man body dies." -Dr . Gary Schwartz By Mark Pitstick MA, DC Significant scientific, clinical and empirical evidence clearly indicates that your consciousness survives after your earthly body dies. That may be news to you, so we’ll state it another way: a vast and varied amount of data strongly shows, beyond a reasonable doubt, that the death of your human form is not the end of your life. Let’s explore some highlights of this evidence in three categories based on who is doing the analysis: research scientists, clinicians, or firsthand experiencers.

EVIDENCE FROM RESEARCH SCIENTISTS Evidence collected by a scientist requires a laboratory or research setting with double-blinded, experimentally controlled and replicated studies. Further, the findings must be statistically significant, peer-reviewed and published in reputable journals. As described in his book The Afterlife Experiments, Dr. Gary Schwartz has conducted numerous studies to investigate the validity of mediums in contacting departed loved ones. In one of these, he looked at five mediums and their abilities to accurately communicate with postmaterial persons (PMPs). Using strict laboratory procedures, the mediums could not see or even hear the subjects (the people who hoped to receive messages from PMP

loved ones). Furthermore, the mediums had no way of knowing anything about the subjects: not their names, gender, age bracket, background, city of residence, or any other details. Dr. Schwartz concluded that the information consistently retrieved by the mediums can best be explained as coming from living beings who are not in physical bodies. Magicians, other scientists and professional documentarians with video cameras assisted in the research to spot any cheating—and no one who observed the laboratory’s work and data has been able to point out any critical flaws in the scientific methodology. Moreover, no rational alternative explanations have been found for the findings. Statistical analyses show that the chances the totality of the results could have occurred randomly are at least one in one trillion. Finding a probability of chance in the one out of one hundred or one thousand range is the usual requirement for publishing research in respected journals. The data from this medium research is one billion times the requirement for acceptance of data validity in traditional scientific journals! Scientists and nonscientists alike are experiencing a test of faith: In this case, whether we can believe in the scientific method itself. Because if we are to put our faith in the scientific method and trust what the data reveal, we are led to the hypothesis that the universe is more wondrous than imagined in our wildest flights of fancy. Looking at the big picture, multiple double-blinded laboratory mediumship experiments have been published over the past 20 years from research at the University of Arizona, University of Virginia, University of Glasgow in Scotland, Institute of Noetic Sciences, and Windbridge Institute. In addition, imaging studies of mediums’ brains been published by Temple University, the University of Pennsylvania and the Institute of Noetic Sciences suggest that mediumship is more than imagination. Looking at it another way, Physicist David Bohm, Ph.D., author of Wholeness and the Implicate Order, described the ultimate nature of reality as unified energy that undergoes constant change. In his view, life is fundamentally best described as an enormous totality of energy in perpetual motion.

Bohm postulated two levels of reality that coexist and overlap. The material or explicate order is the manifestation of energy that is perceived by our brains as physical reality bound by time and space. The absolute or implicate order is infinite, consists of pure energy and transcends physicality. Together, these two orders comprise an undivided whole that constantly flows and changes.

EVIDENCE FROM CLINICIANS Evidence from a medical or psychological clinician of life after physical death requires systematic collection and analysis of data in a professional office, hospital or field setting. Categories include: near-death experiences, past-life memories, life between lives studies, terminal lucidity and deathbed visions. Near-death experiences (NDEs) occur when people are clinically, but not yet irreversibly dead. Today, a large amount of NDE literature exists, thanks to investigations by many top university professors and physicians. Studies of diverse age groups in other cultures show the same patterns or universality of reports. NDEs provide some of the strongest clinical evidence that consciousness is nonlocal—that it exists separately from the body and brain. According to renowned university researcher Ken Ring, Ph.D., approximately 10,000 evidentiary NDE cases have been documented by doctors and university professors. This data strongly points to a continuation of consciousness after death of the earthly body. Ring concludes: “We now have good evidence and from multiple sources that the NDE is indeed an experience that has its own objective character and is, in a phrase, ‘on the level.’ I hope you will be reassured that the doubts about the validity of the NDE can be safely dispatched on purely scientific grounds.” From another perspective, we have neurosurgeon Eben Alexander M.D. The author of Proof of Heaven, A Map of Heaven, and Living in a Mindful Universe, Alexander had a NDE after a severe case of bacterial meningitis affected his brain and, during his weeklong coma, he came to understand deep truths about the nature of reality and consciousness. Based

on his professional and personal experiences, Alexander believes the brain does not create consciousness. Rather, he maintains that awareness survives death of the human body. The phenomenon of past-life memories is another category of evidence indicating that life does not end after death of the human body. Such memories can be perceived spontaneously while awake or dreaming. They can also be accessed with the aid of hypnosis during a past-life regression. To skeptics who charge that subjects under hypnosis are deliberately lying about their experiences, Edith Fiore, Ph.D., author of You Have Been Here Before, responded: “I have listened to and watched people in past-life regressions under hypnosis for thousands of hours; I am convinced there is no deliberate or conscious attempt to deceive. The tears, shaking, flinching, smiling, gasping for breath, groaning, sweating and other physical manifestations are all too real.” Overall, the massive amount of objective research by Ian Stevenson, M.D. is the most impressive evidence to date about the validity of past-life memories. Stevenson, who headed the department of psychiatry at the University of Virginia, spent most of his 60-year career perfecting methods for verifying the past-life memories of children. He and his staff compiled over 3,000 cases from Asia, Europe, Africa and North America. Nearly 900 of these were stringently verified and 35 percent had birthmarks or birth defects that matched injuries from previous lives. When Michael Newton, Ph.D., who started out as a traditional counseling psychologist, began working with hypnosis, some of his clients began describing glimpses of life before they were born on Earth. He then began to systematically explore these reports through the eyes of his patients and map out what they experienced before human birth. Dr. Newton’s Life Between Lives® approach uses deep hypnotic regressions to access a person’s time before coming to Earth. He conducted this pioneering work for over 25 years before sharing his findings with the world, and he worked with more than 7,000 people during his 35-year career. Terminal lucidity refers to a return to mental clarity in a person with profound memory loss or mental disorder. Such cases during the days or hours before

bodily death have been noted in patients with Alzheimer’s disease, stroke, psychosis and mental disability—and these events have been reported for more than 250 years by doctors across the world. German biologist Michael Nahm, Ph.D. stated in a 2009 Journal of NearDeath Studies article: “The literature concerned with experiences of the dying contains numerous accounts reporting the sudden return of mental clarity shortly before death…The most peculiar cases concern patients suffering from mental disability including mental illness or dementia.” In the Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease, Nahm and Bruce Greyson, M.D. stated that out of 49 case studies of terminal lucidity, 84 percent occurred within a week of bodily death. In addition, 43 percent occurred on the final day of life. Deathbed visions—which a dying person may have in the minutes, hours or days before his or her death—are one of the experiences studied at the Division of Perceptual Studies at the University of Virginia School of Medicine. Only 10 percent of patients are conscious just before their body dies, but estimates are that more than 50 percent of these individuals experience a deathbed vision. In his 2017 ThoughtCo.com article “Deathbed Visions: Are Dying People Escorted to the Other Side by Loved Ones?” Stephen Wagner stated: “Close to the moment of death, apparitions of deceased friends and loved ones appear to escort the dying to the other side. Such deathbed visions are not just the stuff of stories and movies. They are, in fact, more common than you might think and are surprisingly

similar across nationalities, religions and cultures. Instances of these unexplained visions have been recorded throughout history and stand as one of the most compelling proofs of life after death.”

EVIDENCE FROM FIRSTHAND EXPERIENCES Evidence in this category, termed empirical, is perceived and analyzed by the person having the direct experience. The term after-death communication (ADC) describes meaningful contact with people after their bodies die. ADCs may occur via the usual five senses or more ethereal ones such as seeing with the mind’s eye, telepathically hearing, or inner knowing. These experiences can also occur during dreams that seem more real than usual and leave the dreamer with a strong sense that actual contact was made. A sudden and lasting sense of peace and comfort about post-material loved ones suggests that dream ADCs are more than just a random dream. According to Raymond Moody, M.D., Ph.D., ADCs have been reported by 25 percent of Americans, 66 percent of widows and 75 percent of bereaved parents. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D. had an evidentiary encounter with a patient who was a postmaterial person (PMP). As related by Dr. Moody in his book Reunions, Ross was walking in the hallway toward her office one day and noticed a woman standing in the corridor. They began talking and the doctor led the woman into her office. After a while, she said with considerable amazement, ‘I know you!’ and recognized the woman as ‘Mrs.

Schwartz,’ a patient who had died several months earlier. Mrs. Schwartz acknowledged her identity and the two talked for some time. In an attempt to obtain verifiable evidence of the visit, Dr. Kubler-Ross asked the woman to write a note to her minister. Afterward, analysis of the handwriting matched samples written before Schwartz passed over. By their very nature, firsthand experiences cannot be scientifically validated, but are often very meaningful for the person having the experience. As shared in my own documentary film Soul Proof, John Wells was tearing down an old three-story barn and kneeling 60 feet from the exit when he noticed particles of hay falling. He stood up just as the level above him, containing tons of hay and huge timbers, suddenly collapsed. His wife ran toward the barn, fully expecting to find John crushed to death. Instead, he was standing unscathed by a pond far from the barn. I hope these brief examples help you to appreciate and trust your firsthand experiences. Perhaps you’ve had similar experiences, but discounted them because they seemed too subtle, fleeting or imaginary? According to Dr. Schwartz: “Not all of our firsthand experiences are necessarily valid and accurate. However, not all of them are necessarily invalid or inaccurate either. The key is discernment facilitated by caring individuals seeking truth.” Greater Reality Living groups provide a safe and respectful place where you can learn the evidence that life continues after death of the material body and discuss your personal experiences. Stay tuned next month for more on how to “internalize this great news.” Photo Credit: Unsplash/Frank McKenna

Mark Pitstick, MA, DC is an author, master’s clinical psychologist, holistic chiropractic physician, frequent media guest, and webinar/workshop facilitator. He directs The SoulPhone Foundation and founded Greater Reality Living Groups. Dr. Pitstick can help you know and show—no matter what is happening to or around you— that your earthly experience is a totally safe, meaningful, and magnificent adventure amidst forever. Visit http://www.SoulProof.com for free articles, newsletters and radio interviews with top consciousness experts.

Celebrate the Goddess of Love

By Arielle Giordano The goddess Aphrodite/Venus is the goddess of love, sensuality, sexuality and beauty in mythology and ancient cultures. She is everywhere in history, art, statues, music and songs. She represents the quality of love that begins with openness and softness in our hearts. She reminds us to surrender to the tenderness of being love, and we know deep inside that love is most powerful human emotion. One of my favorite movies is “The Matrix” because it demonstrates the power of love when Neo (the main character) is saved from death by a kiss of love.

Psychologist and social philosopher Erich Fromm defines self-love as loving oneself without being arrogant, conceited or egocentric. He also proposes that self-love means caring about oneself, taking responsibility, respecting oneself and knowing oneself (e.g., being realistic and honest about one’s strengths and weaknesses) Conditional love, on the otherhand, is defined as having requirements such as needing, doing, wanting or getting something from oneself or a another. Unconditional love is love without boundaries, limitations and expectations; it is accepting the “self” we have

no matter what and at all costs. We may not like or feel good about our personality, habits, choices, patterns, strengths, weaknesses, etc., but when we overcome negativity and self-talk and shift the way we think and feel, we know and see ourselves in a new light. Openness and softness of heart and acceptance knows a deeper presence, a deeper Beingness of love. Being love happens when we get out of our own way and begin to see ourselves as love. It is an eternal outpouring of the love of what we are as eternal beings. Love and kindness put the Beingness in being human. Happy Valentine’s Day.

Photo Credit: Unsplash/Amelia Bartlett

Unconditional love is love

without boundaries, limitations and expectations.

Dancing from the Inside Out with Arielle Giordano Transformational Life Coach Award-Winning Author & Speaker, Professional Dancer. Arielleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Award-Winning book for Best Self-Help Award: Dancing With Your Story From The Inside is available on http://www.Amazon.com. Her professional career includes the Lead Faculty Area Chairperson and Professor for the College of Humanities, History and the Arts at the University of Phoenix. She is a published co-author of Transform Your Life Books 1 & 2 and author for Tampa Bay Wellness, Conscious Shift & Transformation magazine. She has published her 4th book, an Instructorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Manual for Barlow Abnormal Psychology 4th ed. and authored Psychology, A Journey 3rd.ed. Study Guide published by Nelson Education, Toronto, ON. She has also studied philosophy at the College of Integrated Philosophy with John DeRuiter for twenty years. Arielle has been a featured guest on radio and television, in newspapers, and the media across the US and Canada. She is a certified Essentrics Stretch and Dance Instructor. Arielle offers coaching sessions, classes and workshops and a free 30-minute Consultation. Websites: http://www.dancingfromtheinsideout.com, http://www.ariellegiordano.com. Email: agbeautifuldance@gmail.com

Love, Magic and Perspective

I never cease to be amazed by the astounding power of love. 14

By Terez Hartmann Far more than a slogan of the moment, a pretty word you’ll see on t-shirts, hoodies and hats, or the bazillion hearts that adorn Valentine’s Day décor, love—in its purest form—is a power that truly can transcend time and space. …And if you are open and willing, love can give you a glimpse into a wider world filled with possibility—and, dare I say, magic. I know this may be seem like an unusual topic for a magazine dedicated to supporting coaches and mentors, but, for me, having the willingness to view an extremely difficult and painful experience from a constructive, productive perspective—particularly through the eyes of love—has proven to be one of THE most effective techniques for transforming pain into peace.

A LIFE TRIBUTE OPENS THE DOOR FOR A NEW CONVERSATION

When tasked with sharing a tribute for “Music,” one of my two furry companions who truly was like a human child to me, I knew no one would “fault” me for expressing sadness or grief. Yet, there was another voice within me wanting to share something else… Below is a copy of the post I decided to share via Facebook in December of 2019. I have only edited it slightly for the sake of relevance and understanding in this forum. I have very specific intent for sharing this post today, for as you know, I am deeply passionate about being a catalyst for joy, fun, hope and well-being—and it is for this purpose that I share this message today... Even in the midst of sadness with the transition of our sweet little girl and constant companion, “Music” aka “Miss Mu,” yesterday—Source/God/Great Nature and the power of Love have remained constant companions and never cease to amaze us. Only hours before letting go, our little girl decided to position herself under our Christmas tree: And the amount of movement and energy required to place herself in this very special spot was beyond what we had seen her do in days. After some intense emotional processing, John and I felt a strong inclination to clean, clear and physically move our bodies, which brought us both some calm and gave us some constructive focus for our energy. We still had moments

where the tears just came and we allowed this fully (and will continue to do so as needed), but there was a point when I was “undecorating” our special second tree that my eyes focused on an ornament with the word “Love.” Though tears fell, instead of sadness I felt something beautiful and powerful. And as I continued this process, I spontaneously felt inclined to “talk” to Mu. At the same time, “Magic,” our other feline companion, who has been remarkable throughout this process, meowed and went over to John. I said, “I think Mu is letting us know she’s okay,” and, as John pet Magic, he felt a wave of chills. In that moment, the heaviness in my heart actually lifted, and later that evening, some very bold, “onward-upwardforward” ideas started flowing in—along with a surge of energy and excitement that filled my being. ...And this morning when we awakened, Magic was romping around like a kitten on crack, running and playing with EVERYTHING. It was extraordinary. Again, our hearts lifted yet another notch because in our hearts and knowing, our girls were playing “together.” ...And, as I stepped outside to film (our “Good Vibe In Five” segment) today, two furry friends (my raccoon buddies), came out to say hello at JUST the right moment. There is even more that has transpired today that I can possibly articulate here, but even though I know I may still have “human” moments, I know these things for sure: Love never leaves. Any time you are willing to focus on presence rather than absence—or even simply shift into a neutral state of mind—the ones we love will show us that they are still by our side in extraordinary ways. Great Nature is here to shower us with love, wisdom, peace and blessings if we have but eyes to see and ears to hear. Magic—especially the magic of Love—is real.

THE BOTTOM LINE: ON LOVE, MAGIC AND PERSPECTIVE

You or your clients need not subscribe to ANY of the ideas I share above, as we each have our own personal and unique beliefs regarding the nature of life, but… Whether you call it focus, will, determination or magic, it is my hope, intention and desire to remind you that there is always another way to view an experience, that there is still good, beauty and light that can and will reveal itself, and that if you allow it, Love lives in all spaces, places, and times.

ALLOWING YOUR SUCCESS with Terez “Firewoman” Hartmann

Terez “Firewoman” Hartmann,“Your catalyst for all things Fab-YOU-lous,” is the author of Allowing Your Success!, a proud contributing author of Transform Your Life! book one and two, a professional Keynote Speaker/Workshop Facilitator, Singer-Songwriter/Recording Artist, “Allowing Adventures!” & “Savor Vacation” Facilitator, and true Renaissance Woman, and Visionary. She keeps her fire lit by embracing and promoting a lifestyle of “Allowing,” and by using creative expression to elevate and ignite the human spirit, a passion that she shares with her husband, soul-mate and creative partner of over 15 years, John Victor Hartmann. Together they share “Allowing TRUE LOVE” workshops and experiences designed to help others attract, allow, and maintain extraordinary relationships, and create custom jingles and voice-overs in their studio, THE Creativity Express. Visit: http://www.TerezFirewoman.com

How to Find the Love of Your Life

Photo Credit: Unsplash/Brooke Cagle

When you know you are loveable, you will find someone who loves you. By Alan Cohen When I asked my friend Brenda, “How’s your love life?” she sighed and answered, “Working on it, like everyone.” Were we really born to be constantly working on our love life, or were we born to be enjoying it? After many years of coaching and leading seminars, I have discovered two areas that most people ask about most frequently: prosperity and relationships. Most people are looking for their love mate, or, if they have one, are seeking a better connection. Since February is the month of Valentine’s Day, let’s dive in to illuminate what makes relationships work. The simplest answer comes from a woman named Georgia who told an astounding story in a seminar in Greece. Georgia reported that she had been married to an emotionally abusive man. When she requested a divorce, her husband refused. In Greece it is harder to get a divorce than in America, so Georgia realized she had to stay with him, for a while at least. In the meantime, Georgia decided to give herself the love she was missing from her husband. She wrote herself a passionate, poetic love letter as if from a man who worshipped her. “Georgia, my love, you are the light of my life. I am entranced by your ravishing beauty, deep wisdom and generous heart. You are sexy beyond words. I have never felt so deeply for anyone. I want to hold you in my arms and love you like no one ever has. I cannot wait to see you again. Until then, my heart is with you. I love you forever.” Receiving such an inspired missive, even from an imaginary lover, felt so

good that Georgia decided to write herself another love letter the next day. And the next, and the next, until she was writing and receiving an impassioned message daily. Gradually she felt lighter, freer and more filled with the love she had been missing. Then her husband found one of the letters. Since it was unsigned, he believed a secret lover had written it. He came to Georgia, waving the letter in his hand. “I can’t compete with this,” he blurted out. “You can have your divorce!” Georgia literally loved herself out of a bad marriage. When her husband had been unkind to her, she was agreeing with her diminished self-worth. Thus the empty marriage kept the two stuck together like pieces of Velcro with matching hooks. When Georgia upleveled her vibration and established her mind and heart in self-love, there was no more match. Her husband had to either rise to meet her or leave. Just as you can love yourself out of a bad relationship, you can love yourself into one. The way to do this seems antithetical to the way nearly every romantic book and movie has taught you to find a great partner. You have been taught that when you find someone who loves you, you will know that you are loveable. Yet it works just the opposite way: When you know you are loveable, you will find someone who loves you. To try to get someone to love you when you don’t love yourself defies the law of attraction, which clearly states that as you think and feel, so you attract. Great relationships are not achieved from the outside in. They proceed from the inside out. When coaching clients complain to me that their partner is not meeting

their needs, I ask them a question that seems completely insane in light of how we have been trained to have a happy partnership: “Why do you allow your partner’s behavior to be a factor in your happiness?” This question seems absurd because we have been taught that the role of a partner is to make us happy. But if you have ever given the power of your happiness to your partner, you know that this approach always backfires. If you wish to have a good relationship, you must look not outside for love, but within. Any sincere journey within will lead you to all the love you have sought without. This does not mean you cannot have a great partner with whom you share deep love, and who enhances your life. This will happen only when you come from wholeness, rather than seeking a person to make you whole. When two whole people get together and celebrate and support each other rather than trying to get from each other, your relationship becomes completely satisfying and miracles of love manifest. A Course in Miracles tells us that relationships offer the quickest route to healing. Not by finding someone who will satisfy your needs, but by joining with someone with whom you can practice knowing that all your needs have already been met. Empty people create empty relationships. Whole people create whole relationships. The recognition of your deep, innate, perfect loveableness is the key to finding someone who matches the light you are, and with whom you both shine brighter. When you are your own Valentine, your perfect Valentine will show up beside you.

Get Real with Alan Cohen

Alan Cohen is the author of many inspirational books including A Course in Miracles Made Easy. Join Alan for his life-changing Holistic Life Coach Training beginning September 1, 2020. For information on this program and Alan’s books, videos, audios, online courses, retreats, and other inspirational events and materials, visit http://www.AlanCohen.com.

Photo Credit: Unsplash/Wyron

A Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day Tribute

“Love is the ability and willingness to allow those you care for to be what they choose for themselves, without any insistence that they satisfy you.”—Wayne Dyer By Gregg Sanderson The heart of February is Valentines Day, and since “Valentine” rhymes with “Patsy Cline,” I deem it appropriate to stretch poetic license to the max and offer this tribute to her talent, if not to her message. For the uninitiated, Patsy Cline was one of the greatest female vocalists of all time, whose life ended suddenly in 1963. Those of us who look upon country music from a less-than-snobbish vantage enjoy her music to this day. Her hits were mostly love songs—sad ones. Her ideas of love and need were common then, but hopefully we’ve learned a little since. Maybe not. Once there was a friend of mine Who learned of love from Patsy Cline. Now don’t get me wrong, I enjoy every song That Patsy ever recorded. But I’d be Crazy, you see, to apply them to me. The wheat and the chaff must be sorted. Patsy decreed that love is like need And without you there goes my bliss. So if you should leave, I’ll probably grieve And Fall to Pieces over all that I miss. While Walkin’ After Midnight, one day I decided Attachment doesn’t work. I know because I tried it. I beg and I whine ‘til you say you’ll be mine Then you’d better not go on a spree. I’ll rant and I’ll rave to make you behave Because now You Belong To Me. We can argue all night about which one is right. That’s How A Heartache Begins. This need for assurance can test our endurance. No matter who’s right, no one wins. Have You Ever Been Lonely? We all have, no doubt. It just doesn’t matter who’s first to walk out.

Dumper or dumpee, this message we send: Lonely Street always winds up a dead end. I suffer if I find you’ve got Leavin’ on Your Mind. And that you might up and run away. But my sadness finds support when I can go hold court At the Misery Loves Company Café (That’s not a Patsy tune. It’s a Gordon Ellis hit. I just thought I’d throw it in. It’s such a perfect fit.) Faded Love is very sad. Your Cheatin’ Heart just makes me mad. I Love You So Much It Hurts Me. I’ll spend Seven Lonely Days Hoping that you change your ways And wondering why my happiness deserts me. Instead of a soul mate I’ll take any ol’ mate And “needy” is what I project. To someone who’s whole, with a 10-foot pole They wouldn’t touch me, I suspect. When I focus on my need as those country songs decreed True Love is not what I’m feeling. Anytime I’m feeling low I remember what I know: Love’s different, and much more appealing. I know I’m complete. I don’t have to meet Someone to fill up the empty. I guess it sounds sappy, but I can be happy And enjoy ALL that’s put here to tempt me. Don’t make me laugh. My “other half” Has nothing to do with a spouse. I make sure I’ve got ‘em, both top and the bottom Before I walk out of the house. So let’s hoist one to Patsy and leave it at that. See? And not take her message to heart. When we make need a preference and Love is our reference We know that we’ve won from the start.

Happiness is BS with Gregg Sanderson

Gregg Sanderson is author of Spirit With A Smile, The World According To BOB. He is a licensed practitioner in the Centers for Spiritual Living, and a Certified Trainer for Infinite Possibilities. His earlier books were, What Ever Happened To Happily Ever After? and Split Happens—Easing The Pain Of Divorce. His latest project is the New Thought Global Network, where subscribers can enjoy the best in New Thought presentations from anywhere at any time. You can see it at http://www.newthoughtglobal.org.

Photo Credit: Pixabay/Cuncon

4 Pillars of Love Attraction

When you find happiness on your own it becomes so much easier to connect with someone special. By Anna Simpson I love the idea of natural attraction. Isn’t it nice that when you passionately desire something it just flows naturally to your life? Oh, the joy of natural manifestation. If only! I wish it were that easy… Buying into the idea of natural manifestation at the beginning of my personal growth journey added fuel to my frustration. I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t getting what I wanted. Why wasn’t the Law of Attraction working for me? What was wrong with me? At the time, I was oblivious to the fact that I wasn’t using it correctly. The Law of Attraction always works. Just like the Law of Gravity, it is undeniable and inevitable, and it doesn’t require your belief. To put it simply: The word attraction is based on action! What are YOU doing about manifesting your dream? Life will always meet you halfway. But it will never meet you more than halfway. You have to take intentional steps. Let’s look how the Law of Attraction works in manifesting love. The important thing to remember: We attract who we are, not what we want. Often times, taking an effective action requires us to go within and address the inner limitations that sabotage our happiness. That’s the easiest—and the hardest—thing to do, but it can be done! Here are my four pillars for successful love attraction:

1. FOCUS ON YOURSELF NOT OTHERS

During my single days, when I was going on many dates in the futile search of connecting with

my soul mate, the whole process felt like a drag, a complete waste of time. The men I liked weren’t interested in building a serious relationship with me. And the men who were “into me” didn’t tickle my fancy. I would also fall in love occasionally, but only to be heartbroken or betrayed shortly after. The bottom line: I was lonely and frustrated. I wanted love, but I couldn’t find it. I started to believe there were no good men out there. And worse yet, that I wasn’t good enough to deserve love. I couldn’t bear seeing happy couples holding hands and looking at each other with love and passion. My mind, attention and energy were focused on the outside. I was actively searching for my ideal partner “out there,” but he wasn’t there. I failed to realize that I was the cause of all my effects. I was consciously and unconsciously creating all the outcomes in my life. The quality of men I was attracting wasn’t reflecting the quality of men out there; it reflected me—my thinking, my choices, my boundaries, my awareness. It is much easier to say, “Well, that’s just the way it is, and it is not my fault” than to take responsibility and say, “I am responsible for all my results, and I can change them.” The problem is, we can’t always see direct cause and effect relations in all our outcomes. For example, many women fail to see the link between the lack of self-love and dating unfaithful men. It is only when I started to work on my self-image (the way I saw myself as someone to be loved and cherished, as someone who

d eserves love and happiness, as someone who is whole enough and complete just the way I was) that I began to see the outside change. I wasn’t attracted to flashy things any more because I became aware of my inner light. I started coming from the place of power, not need and desperation. When we start working on ourselves, the whole world around us changes. We can’t change the outside conditions and circumstances—but we can change ourselves, and then the outside world will change automatically. That’s the beauty of natural attraction; however, it always begins and ends with us.

2. BRING CLARITY

Have you asked yourself, what it is you want? Really? When I ask you to close your eyes, do you see what your ideal relationship looks like? What do you see? It is very difficult to hit a target we don’t see. “I just want a good guy” is a common answer from most women— and I used to be one of them. Every man (or woman) could be evaluated from a “good guy perspective.” We all have good and bad qualities, don’t we? What does a good guy (or girl) mean to you? What does he value? What are his internal qualities? What are his hobbies? Does he want family, kids? We must be very clear and precise in what we want from a relationship because that’s what we will get. If we are not intentional in filling the gaps on our vision, the universe will fill them for us based on our subconscious programming, which often times is negative. I remember the day when wrote down the vision of my dream man. I was very excited about fulfilling my role of the creator of my life. I wrote down everything I wanted in my soul mate. I wasn’t focusing as much on the outside attributes as internal qualities. And my primary focus was on the feelings. I could

see, feel, touch and even embrace my vision. I went to such a degree that when I would close my eyes, I would see a movie of a perfect love—my perfect love—and it felt so good… When I finished my visualization exercise, I just released it. I was not attached to the outcome. I wasn’t anxiously waiting for it to come to fruition. I wasn’t thinking, “It has been three months, and I still haven’t met my guy” I carried on with my life. To be honest, I sort of forgot about it… Imagine my surprise and amazement when a little more than a year later I met him. I couldn’t believe how precise my description was. Could this be real? Christian, that’s his name, is now my husband. He is everything and even more than I dreamed of in a man. Each day, I wake up full of gratitude for him and a beautiful life we get to share. Can you do that? Of course, you can! Your imagination is so powerful. That’s your strongest intellectual faculty. That’s the key to activate the Law of Attraction. It takes an intentional approach to be able to see clearly what it is we want to bring to our life. Imagine to the smallest detail what everything will look like, to the point that we can see a movie of our dream life. Write down a list and step into it. Embrace it! Listen to it! Smell it! Touch it! Feel it! It has to be as real as possible. Our mind doesn’t know the difference between reality and imagination. When we are able to see clearly that picture of our heartfelt desire, we are halfway there. The Law of Attraction will take care of the rest. If you have tried it and it didn’t work before, it doesn’t mean this approach will not work for you. It simply means there was some kind of inner conflict between you and your desire. If there is any kind of resistance or objections from your “common sense” while you work on your imagination, go back to pillar 1 and work on your inner belief system.

3. INCREASE YOUR ENERGY

Did you know the foundation of the Law of Attraction is the Law of Vibration? We all know and love those people with amazing energy. It is just a pleasure to be around them. They make us feel good. Their high-frequency vibrations are just inspiring.

Everything around us and inside us is energy that vibrates at different frequencies. Simply put, if you want a better life increase your frequency. If you want to attract a man of your dreams, increase your energy so that you become a natural magnet for high-quality men. There are certain women who, as soon as they walk into a room, radiate the energy of a winner. We all have that magnetic power inside, and it is reflected in our energy—the energy of worthiness, confidence and being anchored in our power. I remember precisely the moment I connected with my husband, a handsome English gentleman with a perfect accent, incredible sexual energy and a beautiful smile. That moment, I felt an energy uplift in my heart…It was one of those “meant to be” moments. I had just finished speaking in front of 2,000 people from more than 50 countries around the world. I was at my very best on that stage, connecting with a huge audience, making

them laugh and creating lots of “aha” moments. The energy in the room was electrifying—and I was in the center of it. My own energy was incredible: I was present in the moment, confident and vulnerable at the same time, but anchored in my power. When I got off the stage, many of people wanted to ask me questions and take pictures. I had a celebrity moment. And there he was, my Prince Charming, standing at the back of the audience (he was one of the speakers at that conference as well) waiting to enamor me. He simply said with his charming smile, “Do you have a boyfriend, Anna? If you don’t, I am the first one in the queue.” Direct. Assertive. Being in a total control of the situation. Impossible to resist. And the rest, as they say, is history. Our vibrational frequencies matched. We connected almost by the divine order. We were not looking for each other. First, we lived in different countries. Second, we were not in “need” of a relationship. The energy of need is not constructive; it implies lack. We were both radiating the energy of happiness, fulfillment and selfsufficiency. And that’s the perfect spot for two people to connect and complement each other. That’s how the Law of Attraction in love works. Everything flows naturally when we have high vibrational frequencies. When we find that happiness on our own it becomes so much easier to connect with someone special.

If we focus on ourselves (developing self-image and an inner belief system that controls everything in our life), if we have clarity in what we want, and if we work on our energy, be sure, we will attract your dream unexpected in the common hours.

4. FOCUS ON THE OUTCOME BUT ENJOY THE NOW

After I wrote the vision of my soul mate, I carried on with my life, my projects and my goals. However, I was meeting men and going on dates. You have to take steps to show your willingness to have what you want. There was not much luck, but my attitude changed. I wasn’t looking at my next date as “the one.” I could tell almost immediately when there was no connection with a person. But I wasn’t getting frustrated. I was enjoying my dates. I learned how to stay present in the moment.

I started valuing and appreciating the men I was meeting. I wasn’t going to build relationships with them (if they were not matching my vision), but I was genuinely interested in learning about them—if they were willing to share. As a result, I became a great listener. I looked people in the eyes, asked them genuine and curious questions. I shared my own stories if it they are appropriate. I flirted. I was funny, sweet, compassionate, confident or vulnerable, depending on the situation. But I was always myself: genuine and authentic. I wasn’t pretending to be someone else. I wasn’t trying to make an impression. That helped me to become that woman who attracts men’s attention, and my confidence grew.

Amazing things happen when we stay focused on the now. Our horizons expand, we learn more about ourselves. And our point of attraction gets stronger. There is a big lesson in being present now. That’s all we’ve got. Here and now. Use it wisely.

Anna Simpson—Ukrainian by birth, American at heart—now enjoys a beautiful English countryside lifestyle as well as travelling all over the world for work and pleasure with her beloved husband. She is passionate about helping women find love and create their dream relationships by helping them improve their self-image. An avid reader and a writer who tries to find the inspiration in the most mundane thing, Anna is a chocolate lover and a believer that we all deserve to live the life of our dreams. She is convinced we all deserve to be happy and loved—we just need to learn how to make it happen. Visit Anna online at http://www.anna-simpson.com.

Photo Credit: Unsplash/Nathan Trampe

A Lesson While Failing Through the tests we face in life, we scrape off the barnacles we don’t even know are growing. By Jo Mooy The first human response to any unpleasant situation isn’t always good. Sometimes the response is hideously yucky and over the top. When the reaction runs counter to the “tempered character” of the person doling out the response, it’s an eye-opener. Such was my experience recently. It was a huge lesson that I had failed myself and the teachings and principles I cultivated so dearly. Two months later, the details of the event and what caused my meltdown are not so important. Instead, what stands out more vividly was my reaction to the event—and the knowing that I failed the test miserably. Instead of reacting neutrally and with a gentle focus, I went off the emotional rails. It took several days before I found my balance and was able to restore a sense of equanimity. The big lesson was realizing that the human reaction I displayed proved how many miles were left on this journey. It was sobering and, yet, a revelation. Earth is the laboratory where the greatest work in raising human consciousness takes place. No matter where we think we are in terms of spiritual growth, tests continue to

sneak into our life experiences. Some seem insurmountable. Others mere irritants. Our overt reactions can affect one or two people or masses of individuals. My reaction was out of proportion to the unpleasantness of the situation. It affected a few people for several days. But, the emotional carnage may take much longer to dissipate in the etheric field. And for that, I take full responsibility while I work to remedy the damages. During the event, the human me (no excuse) waved high the banners of righteousness and justice. Boy, did that feel good! Then in my head, I told and retold the story of the event giving it fuel. Every thought magnified it so that it became larger than it was. The vortex kept growing, taking on a palpable form that was consuming me. Then one morning during a vivid meditation I hit the pause button. Well, I didn’t actually hit the pause button—it happened by itself. I saw clearly what had been happening, not only to me, but also to those friends affected by my behavior. In the pause, my reactions could be reversed. I could reset myself and forcefully “revision” the event. The human stuff could be dissolved into the sweetness of doing the practices that I should have done at the start. In that holy pause my behavior was transformed from the inside out. The lesson of failing my true self was a striking reminder to be vigilant of the tests that come unexpectedly. Through those tests we scrape off the barnacles we don’t even know are growing. In the pause of remembering, insight comes. When insight appears, the path lights up. When the path lights up we walk a little wiser. In that wisdom, we remember to abide in the heart and do the practices. In that remembering, there’s never failure in any lesson.

Conscious Living with Jo Mooy

Jo Mooy has studied with many spiritual traditions over the past 40 years. The wide diversity of this training allows her to develop spiritual seminars and retreats that explore inspirational concepts, give purpose and guidance to students, and present esoteric teachings in an understandable manner. Along with Patricia Cockerill, she has guided the Women’s Meditation Circle since January 2006 where it has been honored for five years in a row as the “Favorite Meditation” group in Sarasota, FL, by Natural Awakenings Magazine. Teaching and using Sound as a retreat healing practice, Jo was certified as a Sound Healer through Jonathan Goldman’s Sound Healing Association. She writes and publishes a monthly internationally distributed e-newsletter called Spiritual Connections and is a staff writer for Spirit of Maat magazine in Sedona. For more information go to http://www.starsoundings.com or email jomooy@gmail.com.

A Lesson in Tolerance

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By Mary Boutieller For several months now I’ve been thinking about tolerance and boundaries. What does it mean to be tolerant? What is acceptable and what is just not okay with me? In some areas of my life, I am very tolerant. I am accepting of many things— believing in “live and let live”—as long as no one is doing harm to another. Yet, in other areas of my life, I have become less tolerant. I am bothered much quicker by loud noises, obnoxious people, barking dogs, litterbugs, a lack of basic manners. It’s as if, suddenly, I’ve become the “older generation” thinking the world has gone to hell in a hand basket. It is challenging for me to look at and to feel my own intolerances— body tightening, disapproving, head shaking, separating myself from “the other.” I lose my serenity. I feel old and cranky and not hip and quite humbugish. And, I sound like my mother! One day, still troubled by these questions, I asked my yoga students how we (I) should handle these feelings of intolerance. I got a lot of amazing answers: “Look with compassion; put yourself in another’s shoes; have empathy; spread love...” All good answers, yet I needed more. Then I looked up the definition of tolerance.

From MerriamWebster: “Sympathy or indulgence for beliefs or practices differing from or conflicting with one’s own. The act of allowing something.”

I thought about the idea of allowing something to be without the need to react. I think sometimes we can become so attuned to what bothers us that we become hypersensitive to things that really are okay, even if those actions aren’t ones we would choose. If I could allow others to do what they do (within reason) and not label it good or bad—just different, could I learn to relax a little more in my own skin?

Yogi Bhajan said, “Only if we do not misunderstand our way of life, ‘My way is the best way and this is the only way’ and that kind of prejudice, may you have and believe life is a love, life is a giving, life is an understanding, life is a tolerance, life is a growth together. Then life is a happiness.” So lately I have been trying to be a little more aware of what’s actually going on in the face of my discomfort. Kids on their phones? O’well. Am I really going to take on a generation of tech-savvy kids and tell them to look around at their world instead of at their phones? Loud obnoxious music, bad manners, different views, nose picking in public? Can I find a bit more compassion and sympathy for their way of being in the world?

You see, we really don’t know what others have been through, what lessons they were taught as children or what survival/coping mechanisms they have learned along the way. There is always more below the surface. Like the tip of an iceberg, what we see is not all there is to know. Judging another’s exterior or actions tells me little about what is going on “on the inside.”

The poet Rainer Maria Rilke says, “Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given to you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.” If I truly value diversity, then I also have to value those who live differently than me. If I believe that we

are one human family and that each person is a mirror showing us the way, then I have to look at my own behaviors and actions and know that, chances are, someone else is shaking their head at me! If I can remember that we are all perfectly imperfect beings just trying to figure it out, then maybe I can soften around the edges and make room for more. What’s beautiful about all of this is that we get to choose the way through. I can set boundaries for what is okay with me and what isn’t okay. I can say “yes” to the life I want to live and “no” to what doesn’t feed my soul. I can limit my exposure. I can breathe, smile, shake my head, and continue on this circuitous path. And I can choose to love both the questioner and the question itself. There is a lovely book by Pema Chodron called: The Wisdom Of No Escape and The Path of Loving-Kindness. In her very first chapter, she says, “There’s a common misunderstanding among all the human beings who have ever been born on the earth that the best way to live is to try to avoid pain and just try to get comfortable.” She then goes on to say, “To lead a life that goes beyond pettiness and prejudice and always wanting to make sure that everything turns out on our own terms, to lead a more passionate, full, and delightful life than

that, we must realize that we can endure a lot of pain and pleasure for the sake of finding out who we are and what this world is...” Yes, it’s uncomfortable to feel the full spectrum of emotions— to live them and not push them away. We don’t like to feel uneasy, and we really don’t like for others to see us as less than. But if I only embrace the parts of me I want the rest of the world to see, then I’m saying to myself that I don’t love those parts of me that are a little edgy at times. My passion shows its face both when I am teaching and when I am angry. My love shows itself both when I am caring for another and when I am selfishly holding back. If we are open to it, we’ll find that we are much more than our current set of beliefs or preferences. We are lovable misfits searching for the light switch to show us the way out. I’m learning that in order to figure out what is true for me, I have to ride right through the rough patches—not around them. If I am sad, I have to be in that sadness so that I can give it a voice. Once I do that, it seems to lose its power over me. If I am feeling intolerant or inadequate, I can mull it around in my body and in my heart for a while and see if it a good fit for me. And I can always change my mind!

We have a brand new year ahead of us—another opportunity to say “yes” and “please” and “thank you” and “I’m sorry”; and another chance to explore new territory—both within and out there beyond our comfort zones. In this coming year, I want to make mistakes. I want to learn something new. I want to say what I need to say with as much courage and compassion as I can muster. I want to know love and experience kindness and forgive myself and ask the hard questions. I want to take more deep breaths, drink more water, smile a lot, cry as needed, and live this darn life as it comes—moment by moment. How about you? What is it that you would like to see in this new and as yet uncharted year? Sit with that for just a minute or two or more, and notice what comes up. Maybe write it down. May this year be filled with grace and ease, adventure and awareness. May the questions sit well and unhurried and, when we are ready, may the answers come mostly unnoticed.

The Yoga of Life with Mary Boutieller Mary Boutieller is a Registered Yoga Teacher through Yoga Alliance. She has been teaching yoga since 2005. Her work experience includes 22 years as a firefighter/paramedic and 10 years as a Licensed Massage Therapist. Mary’s knowledge and experience give her a well-rounded understanding of anatomy, alignment, health and movement in the body. She is passionate about the benefits of yoga and the ability to heal at all levels through awareness, compassion, and a willingness to explore. She can be reached at: SimplyogaOm@gmail.com.

The Four Lenses

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How to focus for life change in 2020. By Dr. Bryan Hawley The New Year just brought in a huge amount of energy. Could you feel it? I am riding this wave by doubling down on the daily meditations and really focusing on what I want to see manifest. So, I thought I would put pen to paper or rather sausage fingers to little keyboard and share what I am doing in hopes of inspiring or helping others to thrive in 2020. One of the first things that I did was to get quiet! Start looking within and taking “internal action.” I have done this for years with my patients but finally started doing it on myself (I know barbers have the worst hair, and doctors are lousy patients) and have seen some drastic changes. I also created a master plan for 2020 based off my core desires and beliefs. I have it written out in detail in a spiral notebook that automatically lays out a roadmap for me to follow; all I have to do is stay focused and stay the course. What is it, and how did I do it you ask?

The key to creating a life unlimited is using what I call The 4 Lenses to look at different foundational areas in your life. I actually have eight foundations, including Health and Fitness; Personal Reality (our environment we surround ourselves in everyday); and Spirituality/Religion. (If you want a list of all eight I use, reference the download link on my ad in this issue or email me at hawleybryan@yahoo.com.) Using the four lenses—or personal perspectives—will make the foundations in your life come alive, and they will illuminate a path to follow in 2020. How I begin is to take out my spiral notebook and write. I list my first foundation, let’s look at Health and Fitness for the sake of example herein. Then I run that under the 4 lenses and write out in detail what I perceive about Health and Fitness while looking at it through the lenses. After I finished writing this foundation, I ended up with five detailed pages that are like personalized plan for me to follow.

FIRST LENS: BELIEF

What is my belief about the subject? Do I have dogmatic beliefs that were just handed down to me that I am blindly following? Or is this originating because I have weighed

the evidence in order to foster a personal belief. Is my belief justified, and will it benefit others and me?

SECOND LENS: VISION

What is my vision? Can I foresee myself doing this in the future and being happy and fulfilled? What will I be doing, and how will it make me feel? How are my senses of smell, hearing, taste, and touch informing my vision? For example, If it’s a new car how does it sound, how does the leather smell, how does it feel to drive it?

THIRD LENS: WHY?

What is my why? Why do I want to place this path, goal or object before me? Why do I want to do this? Is it for me, family, ego, status, friends, etc.? Is it going to solve world hunger, bring peace, or help one person or the masses? Why am I choosing to do this? The stronger the “why” the more likely your vision is going to manifest. Because when obstacles pop up—and they will— the stronger your “why” is the more horsepower you will have to bust through those obstacles.

FOURTH LENS: ACTION

What action am I going to be taking in 2020 to make my vision hap-

pen? Without action or motion, nothing happens in this physical world. I can sit on the couch and meditate all I want until eventually they come and repo the couch. We have to develop action steps that are big enough to move the needle in the direction of our vison. For example, if you want to lose weight, just thinking about it might not be enough to move the needle on the scale. Making a plan to research diets, join a gym, get a fit app, etc., etc. would be an example of an action step that can take you in the right direction. This step not only has to result in action, but also has to put a time frame on it. For example, by Tuesday I will have visited three gyms in my area and thrown away all the high carbs in my pantry. Without going too deep. Many of the patients I have coached in Foundation 1 are obese and desire to get leaner. I often find that they lost integrity with themselves. Somewhere along the line they have broken a promise they have made to themselves regard-

ing their health and fitness (outside of extreme medical conditions).

Most people know basic good vs. bad dietary and lifestyle choices, but when they lose self-integrity they start making all the wrong choices. The key is to try and take them back to when they first broke that promise or made the bad choice and forgive themselves. Then they can restart by making an “anchor promise” and re-establishing integrity with themselves. The anchor promise could be something as simple as brushing their teeth every night before bed, BUT under no circumstances can they break that promise. Then add another simple promise, and another, and another and soon they will be back on track.

After running the 8 Foundations under the 4 lenses, I formulated what I call The Master Index, which is basically a bullet point short summation of my 8 Foundations. It reminded me of an index card that I would write info on when studying for midterms, hence the name “Master Index.” This is something that I keep handy, and something that I scan over before doing meditations. Now the glorious thing about this exercise is that it will change! As you reach your goals and achieve your desired outcomes, you will want to experience new and other challenges. The book you create is dynamic and will be ever changing. That is how life works—it is always changing and expanding, and now you have the direction to create a manual and guide to the life you want!

It’s true our life path doesn’t come with a manual—but we can create one.

Listen for Your Calling with Dr. Bryan Hawley Dr. Bryan is a published author, national speaker, and personal growth consultant. He also owns an online digital marketing agency and has created a simple online course on digital marketing to help other coaches, and authors break out into the world and reach audiences. You can find out more on his website http://www.drbryanhawley.com or email directly at info@drbryanhawley.com.