Emil Nazaryan, Mary Boutieller, Marnie Schneider, Linda Commito, Spencer Rouse, Terez Hartmann, Dr. Heather Smith and Yanni Charalambous, Jo Mooy, David Murphy
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Here at Transformation Academy we are excited to announce our July’s Transformation Academy Rising Star – Zane Avalon!
Our goal with this initiative is to recognize and celebrate group membership who demonstrate the heart and service of a coach. Each monthly recipient of this recognition will be selected for a unique reason. Some will be seasoned coaches who serve as valuable mentors within the group. Others may be just starting their coach-training journey and exude a contagious attitude or passion. Others may be actively supporting other group members, whether by providing resources, answering common questions, or providing moral support. Regardless of each of our wonderful group members’ background or experience, we all benefit from the mutual support and varied perspectives offered within this diverse group!
The Rising Star initiative is a way to give a special THANK YOU to those who go above and beyond to share of themselves within this community.
ABOUT ZANE:
Zane Avalon
Avalonzane@outlook.com
3071 Holman Drive #35 Hannibal Missouri 63401
https://www.blueeyesofhope.com
Blue Eyes of Hope
"We are always on our feet, ambitious, and unlike any other! AND Everything changes with hope."
WHAT IS YOUR NICHE (COACHING FOCUS) AND HOW DID YOU CHOOSE IT?
I chose to embark on a dual path as both a special needs coach and a life purpose coach. My unique journey led me to establish and manage a cat rescue that not only prioritized feline welfare but also catered to individuals with special needs. This sanctuary specialized in providing care for cats with unique needs, from those emotionally neglected to those with physical disabilities, such as missing limbs or eyes. These cats found refuge in our shelter, where they had the opportunity for a fresh start in finding loving homes. Within this setting, I devised programs tailored to offer environmental enrichment and behavioral modification for cats, while concurrently crafting initiatives focused on empowering individuals to acquire vital job and life skills through various programs like shadowing. I collaborated with numerous cats who were often misunderstood and unfairly labeled, prioritizing their individual needs and well-being over societal perceptions, which is something that transfers over to working with people, too. Efforts were focused on discovering homes that aligned with their natural behaviors, instead of expecting them to conform for our convenience or the preferences of others.
Success is achieved when individuals are allowed to thrive in alignment with their unique traits and passions, given time and understanding. I provided training during my tenure at the cat rescue to other job coaches on effective coaching techniques, authored reports on skill and job readiness analysis, and undertook various related tasks in this sector. Witnessing the progress of both the special needs cats and the people we served
filled me with profound joy each day. However, as burnout began to loom due to the demands of rescue and shelter work, coupled with a yearning for greater independence, I recognized the need for change. This transition marked a new chapter in my journey, offering me the chance to pursue my passions in a different capacity, while still staying true to my mission of helping others. Working with special needs cats and people taught me invaluable lessons and offered profound perspectives. Despite facing significant disabilities, these cats displayed remarkable resilience and happiness, finding ways to enjoy life to the fullest. Observing the radiant joy of a cat with no eyes was as touching as witnessing the playful antics of a cat with perfect vision. Likewise, the agility and speed displayed by cats with physical limitations, like having just one leg, often exceeded that of their fully-abled peers. These encounters illuminated the remarkable resilience and adaptability of animals, instilling in me a profound admiration for their unwavering zest for life. I acquired a multitude of skills during my time at the cat rescue, wearing various hats, which I aspire to impart to others.
WHO IS YOUR IDEAL CLIENT?
The perfect client for me is someone on a quest to discover purpose, happiness, acceptance, and empowerment within their life journey, specifically within the realm of special needs.
WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO BECOME A LIFE COACH?
As an individual with autism and ADHD, I’ve faced frequent exploitation and a barrage of messages suggesting I wasn’t up to par. True acceptance of my identity was a rarity, often overshadowed by criticism of my unique worldview. I faced continual pressure to become more extroverted, to prioritize dogs over cats, and to stifle my innate introversion. Additionally, I was urged to dampen my enthusiasm for music and creativity, effectively compelling me to conform to a mold that didn’t align with my true self, urging me to upend my entire life and become something I wasn’t. Developing trust in others has been a lengthy process,
hindered by numerous authority figures, including teachers and job coaches, who continuously dismissed my aspirations due to my special needs. In school, I encountered discouraging remarks, being told someone like me couldn’t achieve high grades, or that any success I had must have been through cheating or altering the results. Suggestions to settle for a sheltered workshop were common. Despite battling depression and imposter syndrome, leading to initially failing high school, I eventually returned and graduated. Defying these odds, I pursued education at a prestigious veterinary technician school, graduating with honors. My journey, though challenging, instilled in me a profound sense of hope that I’m eager to share with others who may be struggling to find their own path. I aspired to embody a beacon of hope, a living testament to the extraordinary possibilities that unfold when one refuses to surrender to the chorus of doubt and adversity. My aim was to stand as a guiding light, illustrating through my own journey that embracing one’s uniqueness is a celebration of beauty in its purest form.
HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN COACHING?
I’ve been immersed in coaching since the age of 18, spanning over 10 years of dedicated service. Throughout my tenure at the humane society and cat rescue, I committed myself to supporting the special needs community wholeheartedly. Spearheading an array of work programs and shadowing initiatives, I warmly welcomed students from various educational institutions and residents from day programs to partake in our endeavors. Beyond the realm of animal care, I chronicled my journey through articles and blogs, offering glimpses into the daily tapestry of our compassionate work. Yet, my role extended far beyond tending to our furry companions; I served as a catalyst for personal growth, instilling invaluable job skills and essential life lessons in our visitors. With a blend of motivation and joy, I delegated unique tasks to our volunteers, from capturing captivating photos of our feline residents to crafting vivid narratives and even fostering artistic expression through creating artwork. Witnessing the latent talents of our volunteers unfold was nothing short of inspiring, unveiling a wealth of abilities often
overlooked in other facets of their lives. Many unearthed hidden passions and newfound purpose, igniting flames of enthusiasm and fulfillment along their journey of self-discovery.
HOW DID YOU GET YOUR FIRST CLIENT?
I secured my initial client by sharing my personal journey in an online magazine. I highlighted how my experience of being autistic endowed me with a unique understanding of cats, drawing parallels between autistic characteristics and feline behavior. This included aspects such as communication styles, the significance of routine and predictability, sensitivity to sensory stimuli, and social behavior. This perspective garnered significant interest and eventually led to an award recognizing my profound insights. Additionally, I received client recommendations from the job coaches I trained and befriended, further validating the impact of my work and insights in the field.
HOW HAS YOUR COACHING JOURNEY CHANGED YOUR LIFE?
Coaching has empowered me to cultivate deep empathy, extending not only towards myself but to every person I meet in my coaching journey. Engaging with a diverse array of individuals enriches my understanding across a myriad of topics, offering insights into realms I might not have explored otherwise—the possibilities are endless. Observing individuals with special needs thriving and discovering happiness in their lives serves as a poignant reminder to treasure life's simple joys and appreciate what we have. It reinforces the idea that happiness surpasses external circumstances; it’s about our outlook on life. We possess the ability to find happiness irrespective of our surroundings.
WHAT IS THE MOST CHALLENGING PART OF BEING A LIFE COACH?
One of the most challenging facets of being a life coach is grappling with the concept of monetizing a service that I once rendered voluntarily during my tenure at the cat rescue and humane society. As someone inherently predisposed to offering assistance without expectation of remuneration, I frequently discovered myself extending my aid at the cost of my own well-being.
WHAT IS THE MOST FULFILLING PART OF BEING A LIFE COACH?
The most rewarding aspect of being a life coach mirrors the experience of working with special needs cats at a rescue. It’s witnessing individuals, often at their lowest, encounter hope for the first time. Guiding them toward the realization of their innate potential and illuminating the endless possibilities available when they tap into their inner strength to achieve their goals and discover both happiness and purpose in life. Understanding acceptance involves recognizing and embracing individuals’ unique strengths and preferences, rather than steering them toward pursuits dictated by external influences.
WHAT HAS BEEN YOUR MOST INSPIRATIONAL COACHING MOMENT, WITH A CLIENT?
I’m going to use an example involving a cat rather than a human client because it’s what showed me the existence of hope in the world. There was a cat named Hope who was struck by a car and left completely blind. Initially, the veterinarian believed the cat would be permanently blind and paralyzed. However, after 16 weeks of dedicated rehabilitation and therapy, the cat regained all of its senses and could see again. This story is one I frequently revisit when explaining the concept of hope. It illustrates that in a moment, everything can change for the better, emphasizing the importance of never losing faith.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COACHING ACTIVITY OR EXERCISE TO DO WITH CLIENTS?
My preferred coaching activity is journaling, as it provides a safe space to express both negative and positive emotions that may not always be easily shared with others. Through journaling, one can cultivate positive affirmations and gain clarity on their thoughts and feelings. By documenting challenging experiences, it fosters recognition of their existence and empowers one to respond to them with resilience and strength.
WHAT HAS BEEN THE MOST EFFECTIVE STRATEGY FOR FINDING CLIENTS AND/OR GROWING YOUR BUSINESS?
My most effective strategy for attracting clients and expanding my business has consistently revolved around crafting guest articles for websites with prominent visibility in Google search results. By strategically aligning myself with platforms that boast high-ranking positions in search engine results, I’ve been able to amplify my reach and visibility to a broader audience. These guest articles serve as valuable opportunities to showcase my expertise, establish credibility within my industry, and ultimately attract potential clients who resonate with my message and services. Through the power of well-crafted content and strategic placement, I've cultivated meaningful connections, fostered trust, and propelled the growth of my business.
WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOURSELF BACK WHEN YOU FIRST DREAMED OF BECOMING A COACH?
You don’t need to possess all the answers or strive to be a hero in the journey of the person you’re coaching. Instead, you serve as a guide, facilitating their discovery of the path they need to traverse from within themselves. Being
present for them surpasses the efforts of most individuals in their life thus far—sometimes, you are the sole remaining support they have.
WHAT IS THE IMPACT YOU WANT TO MAKE IN THIS WORLD?
The impact I aspire to create in this world is simple yet profound: to instill hope. To me, hope is akin to a magic missile, capable of empowering individuals to conquer the seemingly insurmountable mountains of life.
IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE WITH TRANSFORMATION COACHING MAGAZINE READERS?
Before specializing in coaching individuals with special needs and focusing on life purpose, I obtained certifications as an autism specialist, ADHD specialist, special needs coach, and cat behaviorist.
I am Zane Avalon, and in early 2024, I established Blue Eyes of Hope, a coaching initiative dedicated to supporting individuals with special needs and collaborating with cat rescues to make a positive impact. With expertise spanning diverse domains such as special needs coaching, autism coaching, ADHD guidance, life coaching, employment coaching, vocational guidance, and cat behavior consulting, I offer comprehensive coaching services covering a wide array of subjects, including career guidance, study techniques, daily living skills, and fulfillment.
Having overseen a notable special needs cat rescue and spearheaded initiatives aimed at empowering individuals with special needs to attain essential job and life skills, my experience and adaptability are substantial. With over 200 certifications, including recent accreditation from Teri Incorporated as a special needs life quality coach, I continually enrich my capabilities. Fueled by a profound connection with Siamese cats, whose presence has been a guiding light through times of uncertainty and hardship, I am driven by a passion to empower others and instigate meaningful change in their lives. Through Blue Eyes of Hope, I aim to foster a supportive and inclusive community where individuals with special needs can thrive and realize their full potential.
Photo by Eye for Ebony on Unsplash.
Your experience of life—your level of happiness and enjoyment—is entirely tied to your internal state.
By Emil Nazaryan
What is life all about? How should it be lived? How can we suffer less and enjoy life more? These are probably questions we don’t ask ourselves every day. Instead, we go about our routines, doing the same things, wishing everything was better, complaining about whatever is going on that we don’t like. And yet, merely by asking ourselves these simple questions daily, the quality of our lives will improve dramatically. You may not have all the best answers right away, but you will get better responses each time you ask. In hopes of providing a shortcut and head start to answer these questions, here are some lessons I’ve learned that have worked well in my own life:
1) Stop worrying and have faith. If you constantly worry about the future and suffer because of it, you are like most of us. “What if I lose my job? What if I can’t make my rent payment? What if something happens to my loved ones? What if…? What if…? Thoughts like these are bound to make us worry and suffer. Did you catch the most important part of the previous sentence? “Thoughts” are the key focus. What are thoughts? Where are thoughts? They are only in our minds, and not in manifest reality. Therefore, why worry about hypothetical scenarios, products of our imagination that may never happen? Learn to have faith that everything will work out, and let your concept of a higher power worry about the future. Your job is to focus on the present—the now—this very moment. Live in the eternal moment and worries about the future will not get to you.
2) Question the conventional idea of success. What do you think of when you hear the word success? Fame, money, possessions, titles, awards, recognition? We have been brainwashed from an early age to believe that this is exactly what constitutes success. But is it really? If it were, why would so many famous rich people and celebrities be so miserable, to the point of taking their own lives? That doesn’t sound very successful. I’m sure you can think of many examples. Then, what is success? True success is being happy with who you are, as you are every moment. It’s living in constant gratitude regardless of outside circumstances. It’s the ability and the skill to enjoy life no matter what it throws at you. Get better at this and conventional success may become a byproduct of your new lifestyle!
3) Start doing things that make you happy. We all have a limited number of years on this earth. Why waste time on activities that make you unhappy, activities that you feel like you are compelled to do, the ones that drain your energy? Of course, your job may be one of them, or an activity that you dislike but must do for your loved ones. Even if you have these obligations, you can start reserving some time in your day for activities that make you feel happy. Maybe it’s just walking, exercising, reading, meditating, painting, playing with your dog, going to the beach, etc. Ask yourself what you enjoy doing most and start intentionally adding those activities into your daily life. You may be surprised at the difference it makes in your state of mind and well-being.
4) Bring happiness to others. This is perhaps one of the most underrated prescriptions for joy. That’s because we always focus on ourselves, our well-being, our gains and our success. Paradoxically, quite often this is exactly what keeps us from achieving success and happiness. Just like a dark room becomes brighter the more candles are lit, in the same way, your life will become brighter the more happiness you bring to others. I’m sure you’ve experienced this before. If you gave money to a homeless person, helped a friend in need, left an extra generous tip or served the community in a charity project, you know the feeling I’m talking about. You feel good when you do good! Why not become intentional about it? If you are in a mindset of serving others, you will see opportunities everywhere. You cannot act with kindness and feel down at the same time. It’s impossible! Therefore, feeling better about yourself is just one act of kindness away!
5) Fall in love with your life. When you look at the lives of others— who are perhaps wealthier, more successful and seemingly more accomplished with a higher quality of life—you instinctively start wishing you had their life. This wish may sometimes have a trace of jealousy tied to it, along with a corresponding sour taste. You may not be living the life you dreamed of right now. You may not be where you want to be. Your life may be filled with problems that you can’t seem to overcome. And yet, this is YOUR life, not someone else’s. It’s the only one you have right now. Your life is the only one you will be living.
The events in your life can and will change, so stop worrying about them. Instead, fall in love with your life the way it is right now. Accept it, embrace it, become thankful for it. Act like you are living the life you prayed for. Don’t let doubts creep into your mind. Just do it, feel genuine gratitude for this very moment in your life. Gratitude fills you with feelings of abundance, happiness and love. No lack can be experienced in the state of gratitude.
If you learn to accept and love your life exactly the way it is now, don’t be surprised when you start noticing positive external changes. They are bound to happen!
If you take nothing else away from this article, at least remember the main theme that ran through all five lessons. Your experience of life—your level of happiness and enjoyment—is entirely tied to your internal state; it’s not the other way around. The more grateful
you feel inside, regardless of the circumstances, the more the circumstances will change on the outside to conform to your state of being.
From this day forward, put all your focus on how you feel in each moment. Pretend that your only job in life is to feel good right now—because it is. Accept your life, embrace your life, fall in love with your life and feel great right now. You’ve got this!
Emil Nazaryan is a motivational writer and a contributor to the monthly Motivational Corner column of HR Realtor Magazine. He has undergone a spiritual transformation which has led the way to sharing the insights he has experienced with the others. He is well acquainted with all major spiritual traditions of the world, but it is the direct experience of the essence of these teachings that is responsible for the altered life outlook and the motivational articles that stem this. In his daily life Emil is a successful REALTOR and he resides in Norfolk, VA, with his wife and two children. Contact him by email at emil.rw@gmail.com
Photo by Artem Beliaikin on Unsplash.
If we don’t rest when we need it, we will pay for it in other
ways.
By Mary Boutieller
Two weeks ago, I got a poison ivy rash on my left arm from about wrist to elbow. I was pulling up some poison ivy and probably brushed something off my arm with my gloved hand. In my defense, I’ve never reacted to poison ivy before and have pulled it up with abandon for years, so I thought nothing of it.
For nine days, I self-treated the rash and tried to ignore it, carrying on with my normal activities as my arm became more blistered and inflamed. It was nine days of itching, pain and yuckiness before I finally went to a doctor who told me to never wait that long again, then filled me up with steroids (not my favorite!). By then, I was exhausted in a way I couldn’t explain. After all, it was just a little rash. My body had had enough though, and I spent the whole tenth day in my pjs. And the next day. And the next. I took naps, slept all night, drank lots of tea and rested.
The reason I’m sharing this is because I was in a position to witness the process and hear the lesson. You see, while hanging out in my pjs, I felt so fidgety. I felt like I “should” be doing something even though I felt like doing nothing. I found myself justifying why I was being so inert. I kept excusing myself for needing rest, for listening to my body—as if I needed a reason to take care of myself. AND, I know better.
I was surprised how hard it was to sit still— to not do.
Finally, I succumbed to the fact that I was really tired. I realized that the world would not come
crashing down if I didn’t do any number of inane things on my very unimportant to-do list. What I knew was that if I didn’t rest, I would pay for it in other ways. So, rest I did.
I started to wonder how it happens that we take care of others so much easier than we take care of ourselves; that somehow we’ve learned that we don’t need attention, love or rest to be our fullest selves? Where did the programming begin and how does it end? It ends by listening, really listening, and then by being willing to truly take care of ourselves without reasons, excuses or guilt.
Joanna Gaines wrote, “This is the truth. You are worthy. You are enough. My biggest regret is not owning it earlier and really loving who I am.”
Two days ago, I felt the lightness returning to my body. Today, a little tired but much more myself.
I wonder, now, if it had anything to do with the poison ivy rash, or was it the slow buildup of tiredness or need that went ignored? Was it the Universe tapping me on the shoulder reminding me that it was time to fill up the cup because it was getting low?
Whatever it was, the lesson was clear, and I am so grateful to the little poison ivy rash for teaching it to me.
How about you? Are there things you aren’t listening to or signs you are ignoring? Do you need to take better care of yourself, for yourself? If so, do it now. Love yourself enough to know you are worthy just by being who you are. Love yourself enough so that your light stays lit.
The Yoga of Life with Mary Boutieller
Mary Boutieller is a Registered Yoga Teacher through Yoga Alliance. She has been teaching yoga since 2005. Her work experience includes 22 years as a firefighter/paramedic and 10 years as a Licensed Massage Therapist. Mary’s knowledge and experience give her a well-rounded understanding of anatomy, alignment, health and movement in the body. She is passionate about the benefits of yoga and the ability to heal at all levels through awareness, compassion, and a willingness to explore. She can be reached at: SimplyogaOm@gmail.com.
Marnie Schneider with her grandfather Leonard Tose, who owned the Philadelphia Eagles NFL football team during her childhood.
Crying and showing emotion are part of being human—especially when the stakes are high.
By Marnie Schneider
No one I know likes to lose; as we age, the stakes get higher, and losing anything, even a second of time that I may have spent on something unimportant, bugs me. Yet when I have experienced loss or things have not gone my way, “losing like a girl” has helped me recover faster.
My friends and I have a theory that when we lose something, it’s best to be expressive and share the pain. Girls are emotional; girls talk to their friends about it repeatedly; and girls immediately grieve. We wear the loss on our faces, and it helps the process of moving on. It doesn’t mean it’s easy. Loss is scary and leaves us feeling vulnerable.
In the case of professional sports, there are facts to remind us of a loss. The stats, depth chart and numbers become the constant keepsakes of failure, and they are difficult to erase from the heart and the brain— the two areas controlling our emotional responses. For only when the brain and heart collide do we get emotion!
I come from a sports family. My grandfather, Leonard Tose, owned the Philadelphia Eagles NFL football team when I was growing up, and I have seen and felt sadness around the sport. For example, there were disappointing moments like the 1979 Eagles football season-ending Falcons/Eagles wildcard game. The Eagles’ kicker was injured, and the punter tried to kick a game-winning field goal. It is hard enough for a trained kicker to get it through the uprights; add in the pressure of the playoffs in the final seconds
and—being a punter not a place kicker—he missed it. The score was 14 Falcons, 13 Eagles. Yes, that was upsetting, and I cried for days. The Eagles made it to the divisional round the next year, but in the end, Doug Williams, the quarterback with the Washington Redskins (now the Commanders), beat the Eagles again.
Here’s what I learned from this series of events: When the stakes are high, it’s ok to cry.
It was upsetting. I’m a crier, and indeed there were tears—but we got farther, so it wasn’t a total loss. Monday morning, my school dropoff was okay. There was some teasing from the other kids, but I handled it.
Later, when the Eagles beat their arch nemesis, the Dallas Cowboys, and were bound for the 1981 Super Bowl, the Philadelphia-based band McFadden and Whitehead rewrote their classic R&B song “Ain’t No Stopping Us Now” for the Eagles. This time, we were going to win the big game. We’ve got the groove, and we’re on the move. My grandfather wanted to win that game so badly. He wanted the win not for himself but for the fans, the players, and the entire city of Philadelphia, which was struggling through poor economic times. We were close to the political and financial capitals of the United States, Washington D.C. and New York, but with no White House or Empire State Building to draw in tourists—only a cracked bell and a Rocky statue.
So, this Super Bowl was a huge milestone for the city of Philadelphia, and my grandfather went to
great lengths to get us the win. However, by the end of the first quarter, the game was over for the Eagles. We were supposed to have a party and give Philly what it had never had before—a Superbowl-winning team. My grandfather wanted to douse the city in champagne and let everyone know that the “City of Brotherly Love” and its citizens were winners! That, unfortunately, didn’t happen under his watch (but it did come to pass decades later in 2018, when the Eagles defeated the New England Patriots).
LESSON LEARNED
The final score of the 1981 Superbowl was 27-10, and I knew that it was going to be a long time until I saw my grandfather smile again. Lesson learned? You get over it, but you always think about the what-ifs. I wonder what would have happened if we never made it to the Superbowl. Can losing ever be acceptable? You can turn it into something great, right? I quickly learned that grown men and 11-year-old girls are remarkably similar when it comes to losses of this magnitude. Crying and showing emotion are part of being human—especially when the stakes are high. However, when a little girl does it, she gets consoled, but when a man does it, he gets called “a bad sport” and a “crybaby.”
Remember the movie The Wedding Singer? (I played the role of Joyce, the flight attendant, in that wonderful Adam Sandler film!) Well, Sandler’s character gets dumped right at the altar, and this is why I believe the movie was a hit—he does
the opposite of a calm, cool man. He freaks out, yells, cries, and is emotional. He broke the stereotype! Losing like a girl is all I know about losing, and I completely understand that when men behave with their emotions, it can make people around them uncomfortable. That is why they get labeled “bad sportsmen,” or worse,
“sore losers!” They’re mostly reacting like girls, but that’s a good thing!
Since my grandfather’s passing in 2003, every football season starts with me crying, getting a little upset that I’m not sitting in the owner’s box, only because I know how much easier it is to help others in the community when you own an NFL
football team. But the fact remains: If we had won that Superbowl game in 1981, I would not be where I am right now—understanding loss and how to move through it—and I would not trade that for anything. So maybe sometimes losing isn’t that bad—especially when you know how to lose like a girl!
Marnie Schneider is CEO of the nonprofit Gameday and an inspirational speaker, author, podcaster, philanthropist, certified Happiness Life Coach, and—best of all—daughter and mom. A Philadelphia native now living in the Carolinas, she consistently devotes her time and resources to help others achieve their own victory. Marnie thinks of this as “showing up” on life’s playing field, with positivity and energy, day in and day out. Her passion for sports shines through in her book series, Gameday in the USA, which is in the Top 100 Kids Sports Travel books by Amazon. Marnie’s pride is her three kids—Jonathan, Goldie and Leo—and she has a heart for animals and has two rescue dogs and her handsome pony, Billy. For more information visit: https://www.marnieschneider.com and https://www.gamedayintheusa.com.
The Philadelphia skyline
Photo by Luis Machado on Unsplash.
How to harness the power of happiness and improve your life.
By Linda Commito
Studies show that happiness is good for your health. In Greater Good Magazine, (Greater Berkeley. edu), Kira Newman wrote in “Six Ways Happiness is Good for Your Health:” Happiness protects your heart, strengthens your immune system, combats stress, gives you fewer aches and pains, combats disease and disability, and lengthens our lives. (I’m IN!)
So, what are the secrets to living a happier life? I decided to ask the happiest person I know about her experience and insights for living a good life. I was lucky to have just spent two weeks with my mom, Theresa, who, at 95, lives independently and is a joy to be with. I asked her, “What do you believe is most valuable for living a life of peace, happiness and good health?” Her life is a testament to her beliefs.
The answers she shared validated another article from Frontiers in Psychology that listed three tips for being happier:
1) Prioritize relationships and experiences, not stuff! My maternal grandmother was born the oldest girl of 21 children in Canada. My mom, Theresa, grew up in a small New England town, with very little in material comforts, but with a lot of love. Their family of six children moved from apartment to apartment, with no car and few possessions. They walked everywhere as a family, packing picnic baskets and, with neighbors, they would often go for swims at the reservoir. Theresa describes her early life: “I loved people, and I was a happy person. I loved helping others, especially mothers with kids, and would be pushing baby carriages whenever I could.”
And throughout her adult life, Theresa loved kids, was supportive, caring and kind to her friends, family, and anyone whom she met.
2) Cultivate gratitude. Theresa does that better than anyone I know, despite some very challenging times. While living in her own home for over 50 years, with her husband, Art, she was in an accident with her dog, Jaxson. Two big dogs attacked them, causing her to fall and sending her to rehab for five weeks at a facility called Overlook. While there, she found that she loved the people, the
location and the grounds, never dreaming that someday she could actually live there. Life works in strange ways. Several weeks later, she and my dad decided to move to an apartment at Overlook. About the accident, Theresa says, “I count my blessings. The way it all happened. . . the fall got me to this great place to live. I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t fallen.” And Jaxson is still with her today, helping to keep her happy and healthy.
(Personally, what has helped me is keeping a gratitude journal for years, writing three things I am grateful for every day.)
3) Practice mindfulness (or for many, praying). My mom has always had a beautiful faith in God, so much so, that I would often call her, asking her to add friends or loved ones who needed help, to her extensive prayer list. Regarding life and its ups and downs, Theresa says: “I’ve had difficult moments, but I’m happy with what the Lord has given me.” That belief has kept her strong, even when she lost her husband of almost 70 years and was grateful that he passed peacefully, with three of us lovingly holding his hands.
One concern that many share as we age, is our forgetfulness. But Theresa has the right attitude. She says: “That comes with age. It’s part of your life. Don’t dwell on it and make it worse!” And with that, she continues to do what she does best—staying connected, present, being grateful for each day, and even laughing at silly mistakes!
Are you finding it difficult to be happy sometimes? I came across this article by Very Well Mind writer, Mark Stibich, Phd., who writes: “Smiling can trick your brain into happiness and boost your health.” These are just a few of the benefits of smiling: 1. Helps you to live longer, 2. Relieves stress, 3. Makes you feel happier, 4. Smiling is contagious, and 5. It boosts your immune system.
Some studies have suggested that there are other ways to increase our happiness by spending more time outdoors in green spaces, and even gardening to help our emotional well-being, just as walking does. Personally, I love engaging with birds, and (I confess) hugging trees. Variety also helps, and changing our patterns can make life more interesting.
Author Linda Commito’s mother Theresa.
I am very thankful to have a beautiful example of a life well-lived. My mom usually has a big smile, is a wonderful listener, and is a joy to be with. I owe a big measure of my own happiness to my mom, who has been my best friend and travel companion, to whom I could come to for advice, love and inspiration. Thank you, Mom with all my heart.
May we each find our own unique ways to being and staying happy and healthy and share them with those we love.
Love is the New Currency
with Linda Commito
Linda Commito, author, speaker, entrepreneur, consultant and teacher, is passionate about her vision to leave this world a kinder, more loving, and interconnected place. Linda’s award-winning book of inspirational stories, Love Is the New Currency, demonstrates how we can each make an extraordinary difference in the lives of others through simple acts of love and kindness. Her latest project, the card game Just Ask 1 2 3, was inspired by a desire to connect people of all different ages, beliefs and lifestyles to share our individuality and find commonality. Linda also created “Kindness Starts with Me,” a program, book and website for children. For more information visit http://www.LoveistheNewCurrency.com or visit the Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/Justask123game
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash.
By Spencer Rouse
The sun gently highlights the colors of the wildflowers that are just emerging. The rapid growth after last night’s rain is mesmerizing. I relax and allow the energy of the sun, the plants, and the wildlife to drift through me. My mind settles. I am no longer the observer. I have become part of what I have been observing. Energetically and physically, I am part of this cycle of nature, this garden I seeded. At a deep level, it just feels right. Harmonious. Peaceful. I revel in the freedom of being unapologetically me, with my graces and flaws, and still allow myself to become an integral part of all that surrounds me.
This state of inner peace has been hard-won. It has not always been this way. We come to Earth with some basic goals. We rarely understand these goals with our conscious minds at first, but they are woven into our souls. Challenges are built-in so we can make decisions and experience the results. We make adjustments, change directions, or give up and sulk. The overriding purpose is growth— even when we miss the mark.
In my first year of growing, I missed the mark. My helper and I are inexperienced but enthusiastic gardeners. I wanted flowers, bird feeders and vegetables simultaneously. The results were educational.
My garden is my metaphor for life, which brings choices, boundaries, and the need for enough structure to accomplish something of value. Without boundaries, our efforts can be vague, with transient interests. With structure, we can stay
focused and develop deeper wisdom from our efforts. The deeper the wisdom, the freer the soul.
Since we live in a world that marks time and gives us a somewhat limited physical capacity, choices are inevitable. If we try to do everything simultaneously, the results become more educational than satisfying, as in my first garden. I learned to delegate the bird feeder responsibilities. I observed the natural growth pattern of the individual plants and how they responded to my particular environment. I made choices.
We all have expectations when we set out to grow a garden or to live our lives. We have hopes and dreams and different approaches. Our goals may appear similar, but we are unique under the surface. I wanted to see how each plant responded to my ideas. I wanted to give these plants the freedom to flourish or not. Growing the largest tomato or a prize-winning squash was not necessarily my goal, but it easily could be for someone else. I was seeking plants that wanted to grow well in my surroundings. I was developing my personal relationship with nature. My life has mirrored my gardening style. I have always been a voracious reader, but a school curriculum boxed me in. I dropped out of college early to get married since I had not acquired the structure to pursue my heart-centered goal of becoming a psychologist. I did not trust myself. I completed my education later when adult responsibilities had fostered that structure. I chose business to get my education over and done with. My mind decided it was practical. I doubled
up my studies, then went straight into a stressful job. My mind praised my diligence. I learned from my career, but I was unsatisfied deep down.
Through a series of reversals and redirection, I was led away from business to a career that included healing myself and others through the spoken and written word, music and energy work. I have been an intuitive counselor for more than 20 years, with the freedom to structure my way. Joy comes as I feel a positive flow between myself and others. Laughter and deep peace are more a part of my life. I had circled back to the call of my soul. When we honor the inner voice, we automatically send that powerful vibration into the world. That vibration attracts situations and solutions in answer to our circumstances. We become more attuned and in harmony within ourselves and our environments. We free ourselves from unnecessary and non-harmonious situations. When our minds and physical bodies are at peace, rested, and in harmony with our surroundings, we automatically attract to us what is necessary for our next step.
Recently, I chose to take more time off work. (Deep breath here.) I nap, I read, and I refuse to be stressed. Since I work for myself, I have some leeway. The money I missed came in unexpectedly from other sources, which is easier on me and has the potential to expand. The rhythm and balance in my life improved. Take a chance. Listen to your intellect. Seek advice from other sources, but pay close attention to that inner voice. Let it lead you to find freedom—your way
Elemental Wisdom
with Spencer Rouse
Spencer Rouse has been a professional psychic and intuitive reader, energy healer, life coach, and lecture/workshop facilitator for more than 20 years, working one-on-one in counseling sessions, in groups, and at psychic fairs and other events. She works primarily through the gifts of claircognizance—an inner knowing—and clairsentience—the ability to sense information through feelings and emotions. Spencer also connects with the different layers of the human energy field (the aura) using color and sound to help balance and invigorate life force energy. Visit her online at http://www.SpencerRouse.com or email PsychicSpencer.com
By Terez Hartmann
THINGS TRULY CAN CHANGE OVERNIGHT.
There is always a way forward, but when you’re in the middle of a “moment” your inner EDQ (Extreme Drama Queen) often will proclaim that all is lost now and forevermore, and life is officially over <sigh>…
But in all seriousness, yes, life gets REAL, and, yes, you absolutely, positively, definitely, have every right to feel the way you do. But when you remember that all things truly DO pass, and that a SHIFT really IS possible, situations can change as soon as overnight. For example:
Only a few days before writing this, my honey went forward with a much-needed procedure that would alleviate mega daily pain (yay!), but this also came with a financial cost that was significantly higher than what we had expected, even with insurance (yikes!). To add to my stress, when John’s dad had surgery many years ago, he did NOT make it out, so my inner EDQ was truly fearing (and feeding) the worst-case-scenario, which further disrupted my sleep, weakened my immune system, and led to a case of bronchitis—a viscous gumbo filled with financial-emotional-physical funk to the MAX.
But once I came to my senses and reviewed some of my own tools for allowing abundance and shifting my vibe, a powerful process—actually THE process that I have inadvertently used for over two decades but had not yet “defined”—revealed itself to me. And lo and behold:
• After only a few days, I followed inspired action and have since opened up new streams of abundance.
• I literally woke up the day after going to the doctor, and all of my symptoms were gone.
• I discovered yet another new tool to help my mind pivot and feed well-being.
…And—thank God, Source, Universe, and EVERYTHING that is—John’s surgery went extremely well and my sweetheart emerged awake, aware, and in good spirits (though a little loopy from anesthesia). He returned home the same day, and was even up and about in less than 24 hours after the procedure!
With this, if you, too, are open and willing to let SHIFT happen, below is THE process and formula that made all the difference for me.*
*By the way, I’ll be sharing this formula in detail with specific abundance attracting tools in my upcoming course, “Law of Attraction: Abundance Simplified.” To be notified when the course launches, reach out to allowingyoursuccess@gmail.com RE: Abundance.
THE S.H.I.F.T. FORMULA IS:
Soothe (yourself)
Honor (your feelings)
Interrupt (the pattern)
Feed (possibility and hope)
Thank You! Thoughts
SOOTHE YOURSELF (ALWAYS START HERE)
When experiences of any kind challenge those of us who are coaches, mentors and who “know this stuff”, very often we want to jump right back into feeling good STAT— but whether you are talking about brain science or vibrational integrity, you (very literally) simply do not have the same access to thoughts and ideas when you are in a state of resistance (a.k.a., low mood, anger, feeling overwhelmed, stressed, etc.): Flow and harmony are just not a match to noise and emotional dissonance.
THE first order of business before your body and brain are even capable of leading you to any real solutions is to do whatever you can to soothe yourself and find some relief. Some ideas of what this could look like are:
• Clear or lighten your schedule for the day.
• Drink LOTS of water.
• Make sure you’re eating food that feels good to your body (including comfort foods you can tolerate well).
• Spend time in nature.
• Move your body in some way.
• Take any supplements/medicines that can help right now that feel friendly/comforting and safe for your body and mind.
• Watch a movie/show/documentary that feels light/ funny and that is totally unrelated to your subject of the moment (shows about travel, cooking, culture, home renovations, music).
• Nap or meditate.
• Do Yoga or Tai Chi.
• Clean or do yardwork; get your hands into something that commands your focus and attention.
The lighter you feel, the more you are able to see the light (of understanding and clarity).
HONOR YOUR FEELINGS (AT ANY STAGE)
You feel how you feel, and it’s okay—and even if it’s NOT okay, that’s okay, too. Granted, it may not be great to become a balling mess in the middle of a coaching session or during a live presentation (on stage/during a webinar, etc.), but even with the best of intentions, repressing or suppressing negative emotion only ADDS to resistance rather than flow. Pivot and do what needs to be done in the moment, but please do give yourself permission to honor your authentic feelings and allow for full “ER” (Express & Release) time as soon as you can step away and be in your own space. Letting emotions flow can be a powerful step in letting it go.
INTERRUPT THE PATTERN (ASAP)
Use your logic: How likely are you to experience different results when you do all the same things in the same environment, in the same order, with the same state of being and expectations? In my experience, that has happened exactly ZERO times.
If you want different results, something needs to change—ideally, your perspective, mindset and beliefs surrounding a subject—but when you are JUST recovering from
a funky experience, it may take more than a minute for your worldview to transform. Why? There is significant momentum in place and, more often than not, because our brains are wired to look for patterns, any data associated with an unpleasant moment (or series of moments) can (for now) still set us off and be an active trigger.
The way to deactivate a trigger in the moment is to activate something helpful: Focus on something else and interrupt the pattern of thought by changing up as much as you can—for example:
• Alter your routine.
• Walk or drive a different way.
• Change the music or shows you watch.
• Introduce a new/different scent via candle/bath and shower products/perfume or cologne, etc.
• Meet at a different time of day in different surroundings.
• Wear something different.
• Change your bedding or move the furniture around.
• Interrupt an unhelpful thought but interjecting a helpful, peaceful thought.
As silly as this may sound, this simple act of introducing new elements and aspects is much like removing
the dominoes that would normally all just fall together in succession—plus, when you interrupt a pattern with the intention of moving toward a light emotional state (vs. moving away from/preventing the funky state from happening), you can also activate a new Point of Attraction (POA) and helpful new momentum!
To interrupt something dark, interject something light.
FEED POSSIBILITY AND HOPE (AS SOON AS YOU FEEL READY)
Our bodies and minds experience all manner of nuance and changes EVERY single day, and, no matter what happened yesterday, there is always a possibility that there can be different factors in play today. By making a conscious choice to raise your vibe/elevate your emotional state, rather than being stuck in the land of limited choices, you open yourself to new paths of infinite possibilities and solutions! So, when you feel ready to feed possibility, consider asking yourself these questions:
• Why COULD it be possible to have a different experience today?
• What CAN I do differently today?
• What actions CAN I take to feed peace and well-being today?
• What IS different about today?
Feed what you WANT and do what you CAN, and solutions will soon be close at hand!
THANK YOU! THOUGHTS (END HERE AND REPEAT DAILY!)
Many years ago, my honey and I were on a road trip to Saint Augustine, FL, to stay in our favorite BnB. But back then, we were working with a shoestring budget (minimal $), had booked the tiniest room on the property, and had planned on doing mostly convenience-store/quick service food because it was what we could afford at the time. Rather than feed the sense of limitation we had been feeling, a fun idea occurred to me:
What if when we arrive we are greeted will all kinds of bonuses, upgrades and HAPPY surprises**?! And with that thought, I found myself (both out loud and in my mind) saying and feeling, “Thank you!” “Wow! That’s awesome!” “What a beautiful gift!” Even though I had no idea how or if this could play out, it still felt SO good to connect with these feelings—and because I (and all of us) have been blessed and gifted with many things throughout life, it was very easy to experience the emotion of appreciation and thankfulness. What happened next simply blew my mind!
**BTW: For those who have followed my work for a while, this was actually THE moment that the concept and phrase, “Bonuses, Upgrades & HAPPY Surprises” was born!
When we arrived at the BnB, we were given a complimentary upgrade to the LARGEST and most luxurious room
in the inn! When we checked into our room, there was a basket filled with wine and all kinds of gourmet goodies! And when we joined our hosts for breakfast the next morning, we were invited to have dinner with them at their home—which, by the way, was prepared by a gourmet chef (our hostess) and served with EPIC wine! Plus, we met a beautiful family from England that I still keep in touch with to this day and invited us to stay with them when we make it across the pond! Needless to say, the words (and feelings associated with), “Thank you!” “Wow! That’s awesome!” “What a beautiful gift!” were literally spoken throughout our time in St. Augustine!
Now, almost two decades later, even when I have experienced major challenges, once I make it to this stage in the SHIFT process and focus upon “Thank You!” thoughts, I have truly been blown away time and time again!
“Thank you!” in advance leads to many happy returns!
THE BOTTOM LINE: S.H.I.F.T. HAPPENS—
MAKING
THE SHIFT TO BETTER & MORE!
To SHIFT to better and more:
Soothe yourself—The lighter you feel, the more you are able to see the light.
Honor your feelings—Letting emotions flow can be a powerful step in letting it go.
Interrupt the pattern—To interrupt something dark, interject something light.
Feed Possibility and Hope—Feed what you WANT and do what you CAN, and solutions will soon be close at hand!
Thank you! Thoughts—“Thank you!” in advance leads to many happy returns!
If there is one final takeaway that I’d like to impart to you, it is this: There is always a way forward, sometimes it just takes a little SHIFT.
ALLOWING YOUR SUCCESS
with Terez “Firewoman” Hartmann
Terez “Firewoman” Hartmann is a Visionary Creative & top-rated instructor, Law of Attraction & Allowing YOUR Success specialist, published author, speaker, singer-songwriter, recording & performing artist & composer, “Catalyst for Fab-YOU-lous” and true Renaissance Woman who has already helped over 10,000 students in over 130 countries allow success and live life on FIRE. She is deeply passionate about helping other Powerful Creatives and Leading-Edge Thinkers live unique, empowered lives on their terms by cultivating the courage to dream, to express themselves boldly & authentically, and to focus Onward, Upward and Forward into new possibilities. http://www.terezfirewoman.com
INTRODUCTION AND CHAPTERS ONE AND TWO
“Our Consciousness is the substance of our world”— Joel Goldsmith
By Dr. Heather Smith and Yanni Charalambous
Yanni: Why did Joel Goldsmith decide to write Practicing the Presence, and how do people relate who’ve had similar life, or spiritual, experiences?
Heather: Joel felt individuals on the spiritual path who’d reflected inwardly would be drawn to Practicing the Presence—those who feel unfulfilled by material life and are looking for something more. He realized that understanding God was the way to let Spirit fulfil Itself, rather than trying to achieve our human goals.
For him, the introduction to Practicing the Presence was especially important, and in it he says: “No one is going to pick up this book and read it unless it is someone who has already known quiet moments of inner reflection, someone who has been plagued by frustration, lack of success, or lack of harmony, and who has pondered long and seriously why life should be so unsatisfactory.” This was who he believed would be drawn to his book.
Yanni: Chapter 1 of Practicing the Presence is titled “Spiritual Consciousness.” Joel discusses the question, “When a question arises, how is the right answer revealed?” How does he answer this?
Heather: To give you some context, Joel explains “what” spiritual consciousness is and in Chapter 2 he describes “how” to attain the realization of it, by which he meant relying on an Inner Power rather than using thought.
Faith in the “Infinite Invisible” (as Joel called it) deepens when you practice it and when you see that it works and how it works. It’s about seeing how needs are met, compared to putting faith (as we do humanly) in persons or things.
So, to answer your question, let’s look at the principles shared in this chapter:
Joel writes: “Our Consciousness is the substance of our world.” This is hugely important! So important, in fact, that I’m going to say it again: “Our Consciousness is the substance of our world.” It means we can never lose anything that we are because we are our Consciousness, and our Consciousness is the only law, the only substance, the only power, cause and activity that ever exists.
He also wrote: “Every issue of life is determined, not by external conditions and things, but by our consciousness.” So we learn to practice being still and “Listening” within. Having an expectant attitude, developed through meditation, creates a vacuum into which Consciousness rushes to express all the things we have need of. Then you know it’s the right answer because it didn’t appear by taking thought (although it may also come as an inner prompting).
In this chapter, Joel was very clear that practicing the Presence is an inner discipline—a day-by-day and hourby-hour activity that develops into a growing recognition and experience of our “Infinite Invisible” Self that eventually becomes continuous as we live in conscious awareness of It. He captures this by writing: “The degree of spiritual consciousness which we attain can be measured by the extent to which we relinquish our dependence on the external world of form and place our faith and confidence in something greater than ourselves, in the Infinite Invisible, which can surmount any and every obstacle.”
Yanni: Our final question relates to Chapter 2, which is entitled: “Demonstrate God.” Joel says: “In The Infinite Way, Life knows no limitation.” Please explain.
Heather: So, this is the “how.” An important principle in The Infinite Way is that we don’t seek for anything other than God (the realization of our own Consciousness) because there is no God and... There’s no companionship, health, supply and… No “me” and my body, no “me” and my world. There’s just Consciousness. We don’t seek health
Dr. Heather Smith is the Founder of “Mystical Meditation,” an online platform used to share Joel Goldsmith’s work. She has been studying and practicing The Infinite Way teachings for over 30 years, and hosts spiritual talks, meditation groups and events online and in person, in London and California. Find out more at: https://www.linktr.ee/ mysticalmeditation
(we don’t try to “get” it) because we are it. We’re not seeking something from God in The Infinite Way, we’re living in awareness of It.
And there’s no limitations in God-fulfilment because all that ever is, is here now… There’s only the “Fullness of Consciousness” here now, eternally present. It’s always available—we just have to be aware of it, and then rest in it. When we understand this, it’s enormously liberating because it means we no longer have to be concerned about appearances in the human world.
So, the practice is resting within and watching inwardly as our Inner Light radiates through us. Perhaps feeling it as a welling up of joy, a click (as Joel called it), a pulsing, spiraling, etc.—there are infinite ways to experience Self. We don’t have to try or to manipulate. “Demonstration” in The Infinite Way is the consciousness of our Self. As Joel writes: “Meeting God Face to face is the end of the road—there is nothing more to be desired.”
Hear the interview on YouTube: https://youtu.be/ Hzsye1EuWG0?si=ECHnItUXH1mDF36z.
Yanni Charalambous is a clearing the mind expert and life coach, who has dedicated the past eight years to guiding and empowering people through inner stillness and positive thinking. Find out more at: https://www.linktr.ee/ yannicharalambouscoaching.
Indeed, there are angels sitting around with nothing to do—and they are available to anyone in need.
By Jo Mooy
One evening, after a long day of work, my partner and I wanted something easy to watch. As I flipped through YouTube channels, a video with an “angel channeler” caught my eye. It fit the “easy” category, so we settled in with a cup of tea to hear what she had to say. She had been doing angel channeling for more than 50 years and talked about archangels and guardian angels, as you’d expect, explaining what they were and the roles they assumed for each person on Earth.
Then she mentioned “unemployed angels.” Both of us perked up, as we’d never heard of unemployed angels before, and the concept was intriguing. In my head I thought, this is probably rubbish, but let me listen up. She said there were lots of these angels sitting around with nothing to do—and they were available to anyone in need. Before the thought, isn’t this what guardian angels do? formed in my head, she clarified: Guardian angels are always looking at the “big picture” of your life. They guide you in making good decisions
during your incarnation, keeping you on the chosen life path. They also protect you from harm during your forays. The unemployed angels, on the other hand, were there to help with little things that might be too minor for the guardian angels.
“Do you think this really works?” we asked each other. So, as a joke, I sat quietly and then called out verbally, “Hey, unemployed angel, are you there? I need you to do something for me.” The task was an easy one. I’d been waiting for over a month trying to resolve a homeowner insurance issue and needed someone from the company to give me an answer. It was now 8 p.m. We finished watching the video and moved on to something else before going to bed.
When I began work the following morning, there was an email from my insurance agent. Upon opening the email, I learned the issue had been resolved exactly like I wanted. The email had come in the night before 10 minutes after I’d summoned the “unemployed angel.” This must be nothing more than coincidence, we thought. So, we put the unemployed angel to
work on another minor project—and this one also was resolved in an hour. By the third request, we were converts. The angel was around and willing to go from “unemployed” to an “employed angel.” One morning my partner asked the angel, “What’s your name?” In reply she “heard” the word Chalease. I said that sounds like Chalice in French. Then the angel explained: “You can call me Chalease, but we don’t have names in the way you hear or recognize names. We have a unique tone or frequency that identifies each of us. Then, as if confirming her name she said, “My name is like a golden chalice that is gently struck on the edge, and you hear the tinkling tones in the air reverberating out.” Since going to work for us, Chalease has been a staple in our spiritual practices every morning. She’s invoked first thing with a “wake-up call” to let her know we’re up and ready for her assistance. Then, during the day, she may be summoned to do things. She often smooths the traffic down University Parkway, which is usually bottled up from light to light. Or she can fix computer problems. She’s even
resolved airline seating issues that agents could not. I don’t know how she does it. She just knows how. After posting about Chalease on Facebook, some of the women in our circle have already found and identified their own unemployed angels. Some have also heard their names. As
if another confirmation was needed, we were on our morning walk discussing Chalease and what she’d already done for us. “I know she hears us,” I said, “but do you think she could send us a sign.” Just then we looked up and there was a cloud formation overhead. It was an elongated white angel with
Conscious Living with Jo Mooy
arms extended and large towering wings behind her.
If you don’t believe, you might consider giving it a try. You may be as surprised as we were by the results. All I know is Chalease is there when we call, and whatever we ask she figures out a way to deliver it.
Jo Mooy has studied with many spiritual traditions over the past 40 years. The wide diversity of this training allows her to develop spiritual seminars and retreats that explore inspirational concepts, give purpose and guidance to students, and present esoteric teachings in an understandable manner. Along with Patricia Cockerill, she has guided the Women’s Meditation Circle since January 2006 where it has been honored for five years in a row as the “Favorite Meditation” group in Sarasota, FL, by Natural Awakenings Magazine. Teaching and using Sound as a retreat healing practice, Jo was certified as a Sound Healer through Jonathan Goldman’s Sound Healing Association. She writes and publishes a monthly internationally distributed e-newsletter called Spiritual Connections and is a staff writer for Spirit of Maat magazine in Sedona. For more information go to http://www.starsoundings.com or email jomooy@gmail.com.
COACHING SERVICES
COACHING SERVICES
How to effectively market and price your coaching business.
By David S. Murphy, PhD, CPA
I hope that you noticed the use of the word “service” twice in the title of this article.
Successful coaches offer a service and market that service. Marketing, in general, is the process of getting people interested in a product or service. Marketing is not selling. Selling is the process that leads customers to purchase a product or service after they have discovered it and become interested in it. The idea of service marketing is relatively new and grew from the realization that marketing a service is different from marketing a product. Different marketing strategies are needed because of the unique characteristics of services.
Some of the unique characteristics of services are:
• Intangible—When purchasing a service, a client is paying for something that they will never really own, something that they can’t see, put on a shelf and admire, or hold and use. They are, in fact, buying an experience. When buying a service, a client is less concerned about the skill or prestige of the provider and more about what the service, the experience, will do for them. Consequently, we need to market the perceived value of our service.
• Trust —A service is not a physical product, so a client can’t handle it and examine it before making a purchase decision. That means that clients have to trust that the service will result in their desired outcome. Clients have to trust us enough to call and schedule an appointment, trust us enough to follow through and show up for the appointment, trust us enough to open up and tell us what they want to accomplish— and then close their eyes in front of a stranger and enter into coaching. That requires a lot of trust. What they really have to do is trust that we will deliver the service that they need.
• No Ownership Transfer—After a coaching session, the client doesn’t walk out of the office with something in their hands that they own. However, they really “own” the internal changes that
took place, so make sure that they know that the session was successful, and that they were an outstanding client.
• High Touch—John Naisbitt coined the phrase, “hightech, high-touch” in his 1982 book, Megatrends Coaching is a high-touch activity, where people, rather than technology, are involved. Client satisfaction is critical and everyone involved in the process, not just the coach, must constantly strive to maximize client satisfaction. Do everything possible to reduce friction from the initial client contact through post-session follow-up. For example, I always give my clients a couple of business cards after a session and tell them that I am their coach and that they can always call me if they have questions (and I don’t use the word “concerns”).
• Service Delivery Variability—When people are involved in service delivery service, quality is bound to vary. This happens partly because our performance is variable. We respond differently to different clients and to different client issues. Unless you provide one cookie-cutter service to every client, which I don’t recommend, every session will be different. The key is to provide quality service in that constantly changing environment. Client variability can also be an issue. Some clients are not as easy to work with as others, so we need to develop creative techniques so that we work with clients where they are and not where we wish that they were.
So, given those significant differences between services and products, what kinds of service marketing activities can we use?
• Trust—First, build trust. Again, we don’t have a product that clients can touch and work with before they commit to a session. We have words. Use words, and Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) can help to build anticipation of service quality in your clients’ minds. Deliver a high-quality service, and then let the client know that they received a quality service and that they had a key role—the most critical role—in the
quality of the service that they received. Remember that ownership of a physical product didn’t transfer; however, you can help the client “own” the service that they received and its results by thanking them for the key role that they played.
• Manage Expectations—Don’t leave clients guessing about how their coaching session will go, or how it went. When I greet a client before a session, one of the first things that I say is, “I’m so excited to see you. I just know that we are going to have an excellent
FIGURE 1
THE EXPECTATION GAP
Client’s Perceived Needs
Coach’s Perception of Client Needs
coaching session today.” As I walk them out or say goodbye over the Internet, I thank them for being such an excellent client and say something like, “You did an outstanding job today, your ability is what made this session so incredibly successful.” Build the expectation before the session that it will be exceptional, and then build expectations for success at the end of the session.
Figure 1 shows how gaps between client expectations and the provided coaching service occur.
Client’s Previous Coaching Experiences
Client’s Expectations
Perception & Experience Gap
Delivered Coaching Service
Others’ Coaching Experiences
Clients are very good at identifying needs, but often not so good at identifying the underlying cause of issues or problem. Nevertheless, they expect that coaches will help them fulfill their needs. This, along with their previous experiences, if any, with coaching and feedback that they have received from others about their coaching experience, motivate the expectations about what coaching will be like and what it will do for them. They communicate their needs to the coach, hopefully clearly and completely and, to the extent that they are able to communicate their needs accurately and in a way that the coach understands, the coach designs a coaching engagement to help the client.
This is a fairly complex communication process because often clients are better at explaining what they don’t want than they are able to explain what they do want. To the extent that the delivered coaching service differs from the client’s expectation, a gap occurs and the size of the gap influences the client’s satisfaction with the coach and the coach sessions. Coaches can narrow the gap two ways. First, by making sure that they understand the client’s needs and expectations. And second, buy communicating effectively with the client about what coaching is and what to expect. In that way the coach is better able to move the client’s expectations so that they line up with service delivery.
• Testimonials—Don’t just use your words to convince the client that they will receive a quality session. Let other satisfied clients speak for you. If you have done a good job developing a marketing plan, then you have identified your target market, and it should not just be people who are alive and able to receive nourishment. People tend to trust and believe people that are like them, I call them PLUs (People Like Us). So, get testimonials from your target market, from the kind of people that you want to work with. That will help attract more PLUs.
• Use Quality Indicators—Collect badges and awards and post them in your office and on your website. These badges and awards are external evidence or signals that you are qualified and help build trust and the anticipation of receiving a quality service. Because these badges and awards were granted by another organization, they signal to your clients that others have found you to be competent and professionally prepared.
• Constant Communication—Communicate with clients before, during, and after a coaching session. Serving repeat clients is much easier than finding new ones—so keep your old clients happy; they are more likely to book another session and to refer you to friends and colleagues. I keep a stack of small thank you notes in my desk drawer and send them out to every client about two weeks after each session. And, to make sure that I don’t forget, I fill the thank you card out right after the client leaves my
office or we say goodbye over the Internet and write the mailing date on the top right-hand corner of the envelope (it will get covered up by the stamp when I mail it). Then I place in a box by mailing date. A low-tech way to achieve high touch. The thank you notes and their envelopes are always handwritten; remember high touch?
• Customization—A service, unlike most products, can be customized to meet the specific needs of the client. You know that, and I know that. But do your clients know that you customize their session to meet their specific needs? Let them know; after all, each session is a bespoke coaching session. This will help enhance the perceived quality of their session.
• Solution Focused—You want potential clients to sit up and pay attention, you want clients to have a positive emotional response to their session. Let them know that their session(s) are the solution to their issue.
UNDERSTAND THE 7PS OF SERVICE MARKETING
The 4Ps of traditional marketing are product, place, price and promotion. Because service marketing is more complex, 7Ps have evolved. They are:
1) Product—the service that you offer. This service needs to be the solution to a potential client’s needs. Consequently, you need to be clear about the problem that your solution will address, and to do that you need to identify and understand your target market.
2) Price—Given the current state of the economy, everyone has become price conscious. Price your services so that they are affordable for your target market and so that they provide you with a reasonable return on your investment. Also be aware that price, especially
with intangible services, is often viewed by clients as an indicator of quality. The higher the price, the higher the perceived or anticipated quality. For more ideas about pricing, see the pricing strategy section at the end of this article.
3) Place—As a coach, do I only offer in-person services in a physical location, a mix of in-person and online services, or online only? However you decide to offer your services, make sure that your “place” is easy to find and close to your target market. If you have a physical office, then find a location that will be easy for your target market to drive by, locate and park. If you are online only, then be on the social media platforms where your target market hangs out. Make sure that your website is up-to-date, easy to navigate, and that it doesn’t look like it was designed when the Internet was brand new. Website styles change, so keep pace with the changes.
4) Promotion—I was in the Yellow Pages in 2004, but not anymore. When was the last time that the phone company left a new phone book on your doorstep? You must be online and use social media. You will have to make a couple of key decisions. 1) Where do you need to be to be seen by your target market? 2) What kind of content do you want to post (that’s called “content marketing)? 3) How often do you plan to post content? Have a plan and be consistent so that viewers know when to expect your next post. Make your posts content rich. 4) Are you going to pay for ads? Where?
5) People—People, clients and service providers are all key to your success. Decide how you are going to manage client relationships. One of the ways that clients will measure the quality of your service is by how you communicate with them.
6) Process—Providing quality services isn’t just about the end result, it’s about how you got the client to that end result. Define your processes so that your business (Yes, if you provide a service then you have a business!) is perceived as being dependable and that client expectations are met.
7) Physical Evidence—You don’t have a physical product, but you can provide client testimonials as evidence of the quality of your service. Testimonials help build positive expectations and trust.
Finally, remember what Peter Drucker once wrote, “Quality in a service or product is not what you put into it. It is what the client or customer gets out of it.”
FOCUS ON PRICING STRATEGY
Several different pricing strategies are available. Choose one that works for you and your target audience. The most common strategies follow, and my favorite is at the end: Penetration pricing: Start low to acquire market share and then increase as you grow. However, it is often hard to raise prices once clients have become accustomed to the penetration price. In addition, clients often associate low price with low quality.
Economy Pricing: Set a low price that’s hard for your competitors to beat (if you can remain profitable doing so).
Premium pricing: High-end pricing, justified by unique value in return.
Product-Line Pricing: Design service tiers with separate prices that increase as your offered services and value expand.
Value-based Pricing: Many professionals, including coaches, charge by the hour for their time. But some are starting to think about the value of the service that they offer and to set their prices based on that value, not time. Assume that you offer a three-session coaching package and base the fee on the three hours of your time. However, the life change that results is worth much more than the cost of three hours of your time! You might give your client a handout that lists the tangible and intangible benefits that accrue from changing their life through your coaching sessions, and set a value on those benefits and then say something like, “Isn’t $1,200 a small investment to make in your future and to receive all of these benefits?”
PARTING SHOT
If you are not marketing then you are not in business—you just have an expensive hobby.
Dr. David Murphy, Ph.D., recently retired from the College of Business at the University of Lynchburg, where he had taught for 23 years and served as the chair of the accounting department for 15 years and as the director of the MBA program for 5 years. He is a Transformation Academy Certified Mindfulness Life Coach and an experienced business coach. He can be reached via email at: davemurphyphd@gmail.com.
