Transformation Coaching Magazine January 2018 by Transformation Coaching Magazine

COACH SPOTLIGHT Coach Spotlight: William Sinclair

Happy New Year! Goal setting is so much a key to success that it’s cliché. We know it, but most of us don’t do it. But, regardless of how cliché it is, setting goals is VITAL if you want any chance of fulfilling your dreams with your career or your personal life. Most people only consider their goals once per year—around New Year’s Eve. And, according to a study published by the University of Scranton people who don’t set goals are missing out because people who explicitly make resolutions are 10 times more likely to attain their goals than people who don’t explicitly make resolutions. 10 times more likely. Those are some good odds! However, your odds could be much, MUCH greater. What if you could learn what those who succeed at their goals actually DO differently than everybody else… and then DO THAT? Well, you can! Check out the LAST ARTICLE, where we’ve included OUR “not-your-every-day-goal-setting” process to use for YOU or your CLIENTS! It’s the one WE use to meet or exceed our goals EVERY YEAR! We wish you many blessings in the new year. Thank you for transforming with us!

INSPIRATION & GROWTH Plant Your Dream without Limiting its Growth Stop Trying to “Discover Your Passion”! Get Real in the New Year The Power of FUN! Happiness is BS How To Feel Happy Again Take the High Road

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COACHING & BUSINESS TOOLS 7 Ways to Increase Transparency in Business The Trends of Tomorrow The Mindset AND Strategy for Achieving Your Goals

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FEED YOUR SPIRIT Greater Reality Living

PUBLISHERS Natalie Rivera Joeel A. Rivera, M.Ed.

EDITOR Lisa Cedrone

CONTRIBUTORS William Sinclair, Kate Pennell, Natalie Rivera, Kristie Kennedy, Mary Boutieller, Terez Hartmann, Gregg Sanderson, Sarah Riley, Jo Mooy, Rena Greenberg, Mark Pitstick, Joeel Rivera

Coach Spotlight: William Sinclair

spotlight COACH

William Sinclair

Living from the Inside Out A Divine message to meditate and a lifethreatening brush with cancer turned a faithbased journey of the mind into a spiritual journey of the heart. How do you sum up 57 years of life in one article? I guess you don’t. We all have a story and this is mine. I hope it will inspire you to also move into living your life to its fullest potential, humanly and spiritually, because really they are both one. Like the constant movement of salt water that erodes entire rock faces by the ocean or the desert wind that shapes sand dunes and can fire sand particles into your face with the strength and speed of a bullet, I allowed my story of childhood abuse and my own self-talk to both erode away my life and keep me hiding in the trenches.

I grew up in a house where love and abuse co-existed. When she was a young adult, my mother had tried to kill her stepfather with a pair of scissors, while he slept, to eliminate his abuses on her own life. Take that anger and now give her children and you get some very dysfunctional life experiences. My dad, who had introduced me to pornography earlier in life, tried working away from home as often as possible. “I’m just waiting for your mother to die so I can start my life,” he once told me. Don’t get me wrong. I remember lots of loving things my parents did and sacrificed for me as a child. Dad sold his accordion to buy me my first drum set. Mom worked three jobs so she could send my brother and me on a holiday.

However, as I looked back on my life, whether perceived or real, there were many stories of abandonment, mind games, physical and emotional abuse, self-punishment and a sense of not being worth anything. These stories resulted in my lack of self-confidence, lack of self-worth and the unknown desire to keep abusing myself and sabotaging almost everything I put my hand to.

Suicide was also a top thought in my consciousness. My faith base growing up was that of Roman Catholic. It was one of the things I seemed to cling to in my life. My mom’s answer to everything was, “Pray about it.” Except when I was old enough to ask about sex. Then her answer was, “Animals! Men are just animals!” I didn’t really know what she meant.

My God, at least the one I envisioned, was a punishing God on a distant throne that you had to journey to get to. If you were good then you got closer. If you were bad you got punished, for your own good of

from others. Otherwise, I was a nobody to everyone. The more I played the more attention I got. So I got good at playing. I started playing in pubs when I was around 14 years old, and in my late

The funny thing is, despite all these apparent setbacks, I always envisioned myself excelling at everything I did. course, and you started back at zero. It wasn’t until I was in my fifties I realized that I had made my God a reflection of my mother. As a teenager I dove into the music business realizing that when I strapped a guitar around my neck I got what I inwardly craved the most, attention and a form of love

To cut a long story short and compress some passage of time together, I had worked my way across Canada. During that time I had a conversion experience, ended up attending a Catholic Bible School, then met my wife and started having kids. One summer, while the kids were little, we had flown to my parent’s house to visit with my mom and dad. A huge fight broke out between myself and my mother, followed by the usual “Nothing happened here so let’s stuff it” experience.

My wife said something when we flew home that changed everything: “That’s not normal life,”

teens I got into just about everything a traveling band could get into. My turning point came after I had moved to Canada from Scotland. Yes, I know, I forgot to tell you I was raised in What? Up until that point I had asScotland until I was 21. Or that my mother sumed my entire upbringing was “normal life.” was born in India and my dad in England. From there, after almost curling

up in a ball on the floor at work because a can of worms had been opened, I started going for counseling. It helped somewhat. It gave me coping skills and moved me to look at my past more objectively. It also helped me stop punching holes in walls and toned down, to some degree, the mind games I was playing with my wife. In my childhood I had learned that love was not something you got freely but that it had to be “earned” in one way or another. That’s another story though. As much as the counselling helped, it was still surface stuff in comparison to what I’m going to share with you now. I mentioned that I grew up as a Roman Catholic and also that I seemed to cling to that faith. What I didn’t share was how strong that “cling” was. Despite my skewed view of who God was, and how distant that God was, there was definitely a Divine Presence in my life that had kept me living and glued to my wife. I found comfort in that presence and in return I wanted to serve this God with all my heart and soul. There was a period of about 10 years when I even served as a sort of lay pastor in my church. There was something inside of me that drove me, called me and pulled me to this God. I was in love with this God. At 55 years old my view of God would change. It was 2013, about two months before my 53rd birthday in December. My wife and I were running a kids’ summer camp facility in the bush by a lake. On the grounds there was also a year-round retreat house. A meditation group met there every Wednesday evening. As a Catholic I kept my distance.

“You’re life is about to get messy. I want you to join the meditation group.” I just knew that I knew it was God speaking to me. Yet, despite this apparent divine mandate, you could see the trail marks from my heels as I dragged myself to the next meditation meeting. I think I carried a crucifix in my pocket, ready to pull out like a firearm at the first sign of trouble. In hindsight, I may as well have taken some garlic and a vampire stake too. Silly thing. Over the next two years we actually became close friends with Tami Dovell, who led the meditations. I remember constantly arguing with her over her teachings and beliefs compared to mine. Not that she ever argued back. Yet I kept going to meditation.

In 2015 cancer hit me hard. After rounds of chemotherapy and 25 blasts of radiation I received life-saving surgery. My esophagus was completely removed and my stomach was rolled into a tube and placed into my chest as a makeshift esophagus. About a week after surgery I was lying in my hospital bed and staring out of the window at the late evening sky. I asked my God, “So, now what? Obviously I’m still alive. So, now what?” Again, from deep within I heard,

“Na. I have my own prayer stuff I do. I’m good,” I would say, warding off every invite to attend. I didn’t need meditation. I had developed a relationship “Get to know me.” with my Christian God and we would have “conversations” regularly. My immediate reply was, “But, I One morning, while sitting in a already know you.” small wilderness cabin with my prayer jourI had been studying for ordained nal I distinctly heard these words from withministry within the Catholic Church at that in the depths of my being, time. I had also attended Bible School, completed a three-year lay ministry leadership program and worked full-time with-

in the Church. God’s response was simple.

“No. Get to KNOW me.” I didn’t quite understand. After being released early from hospital, which was a miracle in itself, there began a long journey into my inner self. It became apparent early on that this wasn’t a journey of the mind, like I had been used to, but instead a journey of the heart. The late Dr. Wayne Dyer said that when the student is ready, the teachers will appear. Meaning that when you’re ready to see and open to hear you will see and hear what you’re meant to. I was led to read and listen to great teachers like Dr. Wayne Dyer, Elkhart Tolle, Father Richard Rohr and Saint Francis of Assisi, to name a few. I was pulled into the inner journey of self-awareness and of inner transformation. Learning to live from the inside out. I discovered that I didn’t have to fight to become someone new, “someone better.” All I needed to do was become the great Allower. Allowing God to heal me, one layer, one spec, one self-defeating thought, one skewed view at a time. I learned about ego and the True Self. I also learned that we have everything we need, everything that is great and beautiful, already inside of us. Divine and absolutely awesome. It was all there just waiting to be rediscovered. Consider how pure a baby is after it is born. That’s each one of us. But, over time we cover that light up, that DNA of God within us, with the stories imposed upon us by ourselves and others. “I’m worthless. I’m no good. I’m ugly,” and a host of other things. I certainly did. I learned from Joeel and Natalie Rivera, the publishers of Transformation Coaching Magazine, that you can change your story, rewrite what no longer serves you into something that does. I learned from Elkhart Tolle how to become the silent observer of my thoughts, my emotions and my life. I actually became aware of each time I got angry or felt lonely or was in a pity party. As soon as I observed that, rather than living inside the emotion like I used to do, being totally unaware and consumed by

it, I discovered that it no longer had power over me. It was at that point a healing took place. Believe me, I had probably hundreds of those healing moments every day because I was extremely angry and had such a warped view of who I was

I became aware of how toxic and self-sabotaging my thoughts were. Think something long enough and you will begin to Sub-title. believe it as normal life. Sub-title. That’s why you haveSub-tito be aware of the environment you place yourself in and the you tle. Sub-title. Sub-title.friends Subkeep. Positive breeds positive. Negative breeds negative. I was title. allowing negative thoughts about myself to fester and breed more negative thoughts, without realizing it.

My negative environment had become my own mind, which I took everywhere. I don’t believe that everything around me has changed but, instead, it’s my view of everything around me, as well as what is within me, which has transformed. Father Richard Rohr says that you become what you already are. Beautiful and divine. Pretty deep and pretty real. I’ve learned to live in the present moment, where God is. I’m no longer locked into the stress of a past that no longer exists or anxious about the future that also doesn’t exist. Only the present moment exists. The rest is all in your head. I’m much “closer” in awareness to the real me, the true me, than I’ve ever been. Much more peaceful. Less and less tossed around emotionally like a ball on the surface of a stormy ocean. Much more living from the inside out. I was always compelled to be something in my life. Now, I’m driven to just “be.” My path was that of meditation, connecting to my Divine, silence, learning to at least slow down the multitude of thoughts in my mind from time to time and allowing myself to be healed. It was, and still is at times, an emotionally painful journey but it is so worth it. Whatever you allow yourself to be, that’s what you share with the world, including your own world. Hurt people hurt people. Healed people heal people. Allow yourself to become healed and transformed. You’ll never regret it.

William Sinclair, through his own journey of inner transformation from childhood abuse to enlightenment, has a passion to help others toward their own tipping point to transformation. He will share his life story with anyone who will listen. William is also a “multipotentialite” where the only consistency in his life is diversity. Photographer, author, writer, speaker, musician blah, blah, blah…Check out his endeavors at: www.WilliamSinclair.ca

Plant Your Dream without Limiting its Growth

without Limiting its Growth

Understanding the difference between expectation and expectancy.

By Kate Pennell I can be pedantic about words. It is not just my Mary Poppins English teacher persona coming out; I believe words are powerful things. When words are misused or misunderstood, their meanings can become diluted or confused. The power that lies within their definition is lost, and we are robbed of releasing that power into our lives. Two such words are “expectancy” and “expectation.” They are almost identical twins: two synonymous nouns from the same verb. But I want to look a little deeper. I want to look at two mindsets connected with the words and the power infused within them. With regards to bringing about personal change in our lives, the difference between the two mindsets is crucial. Do you live with a mindset of expectation or expectancy?

WHY MANY ADULTS SECRETLY DON’T ENJOY CHRISTMAS Expectation is a funny thing. It can be built, met,

false, natural, unrealistic and, of course, great. The famous novel and subsequent films “Great Expectations” are all about personal growth and development, about our own expectations and living up to those of others. Weighty stuff. An expectation is something that we make out of our expectancy to meet or predict an outcome or event. It is a made thing: “made” is a past participle of “make.” It’s done and in the past.

Even apart from all the candy-coated froofrar we are fed by Hallmark and Disney, most kids enjoy Christmas. For me, the magic had nothing to do with Santa, I

loved the lights in the dark, the food, the family together, the presents I got and planned for others. It was love and hope all wrapped up and shared out. Since Christmas just passed, this subject should be easy to reflect upon. How many of our Christmases are like this as an adult? I’ve spoken with many adults who have been honest enough to say they no longer want anything to do with Christmas. They see it as a mess, hard work and hassle to celebrate empty consumerism. Ouch, that’s pretty cynical, but they have such a bitter taste left in their mouths because they remember something sweeter. They have an expectation of Christmas that their reality is falling far short of—an expectation that they, or others, have made (note: past tense).

SET IN STONE If something is “set in stone” it isn’t going to

change, like fossils or headstones, or it is so important that it must not change, like the Ten Commandments, memorials or sculptures.

When we build expectations it can be like building our dreams out of stone. “Surely that makes them strong, resilient?” I hear you cry. It is true, no one wants to be like little pigs one and two and have their dreams blown down when the wolves of this world come huffing and puffing, but change and remodeling a brick house can be a messy, risky, time-consuming business.

Life rarely goes as planned, it’s like it never got the memo. These fixed expectations can actually block our progress and growth potential. It can be difficult to move past what we have taken so long to construct so well.

Going into a situation with a set tion and development can happen faster. “I want to be a policeman like Unexpectation can prevent us from truly living in that moment. We cannot be fully present cle Bob.’’ (Expectation, closed.) “I want to be a policeman and I’m if we are viewing the present transposed through a filter we made in the past. We’ll looking forward to seeing what possibilities be missing the good things around us, the there are open to me in the field.” (Expectancy, open and with room for growth.) relationships and opportunities. When we are looking at expectanWhen our reality doesn’t match up cy as a mindset we can see it as something to our expectation we can experience: that is positive, fluid, open to change and • Disappointment less rigidly defined than an expectation. It • Resentment does not mean that you open your mind to • Anger any thought that may wander in. Our minds • Frustration are amazing and powerful, so engage your • Discouragement to the point of Sub-title. Sub-title. brain and useSub-title. that heart and mind synergy abandoning our goal or dream Sub-title. to power towards what you desire. • Hopelessness Sub-title. Sub-title. The marks of those living in expec• Confusion tancy/with an expectancy mindset: • We can feel lied to and deceived. These things, if not dealt with in a • Their eyes are open. They are aware of themselves, the world around healthy way, can become dream killers. them and they dream with their Building our expectations is often eyes open. seen as part of our development process in • Their personal and dream develophopes of fulfilling our dream, and yet that ment is evolving and flexible. They very action puts it further out of reach, or examine and embrace the changes. could even be the death of it. • They are not afraid of change or failure, rather, they see potential. • They will let go of what they need to in able to grow. • They look for the positive, refusing To expect: to think or believe to be shackled by others’ expectations or negativity. something will happen. Synonyms include: hope, await, anticipate, • They understand the difference between righteous responsibility imagine, calculate, suppose, look forward and duty. to. (Source: dictionary.cambridge.org) • They practice intelligent, intentional Expectancy and expectation have living especially in regards to their the same starting point but the small differpurpose. ence between them causes their vectors to finish in different destinations. I’m not there yet. but I’m getting Expectancy is not set or fixed solid. It has clearly defined parameters — what closer as I challenge myself to cultivate this a person hopes for, imagines or is working attitude of expectancy. towards — but it is more flexible, so adapta-

BREAKING THE MOLD

THE ART OF BONSAI Did you know that the beautiful

miniature trees in the art of Bonsai are the same as those that grow to touch the sky?

When we plant our dreams within our own expectations and shape them to how we believe they should look, we loose the opportunity to touch the sky, to grow to our full potential. Nobody should bonsai their heart, their dreams, their life. There can be a fine balance between building and developing our dreams (expectancy) and forming an expectation. That expectation may be beautiful, strong, but can it grow and expand if it is so fixed? When facing a situation, you need only make a small adjustment to be sure you are not holding to a set expectation but, rather, you’re ready in expectancy to what may be. I urge you to “take every thought captive.” Prune away what is hampering your growth and regularly ask yourself, “Will this nourish my dream, my life? Will it cause growth, life, does it expand me?”

Permission to Launch with Kate Pennell

Kate Pennell, English and slightly geekish, is a coach and dream catalyst who lives in Spain with three kids, various furry creatures and a patient husband. She loves nature, creativity and seeing people discover what truly makes them come alive. Kate provides the people she works with permission to launch and helps them begin to fly as they were made to. She teaches, encourages and connects with fellow travellers across our global village. Find out more at https://permissiontolaunch.website/.

Stop Trying to “Discover Your Passion”! (…and Why Purpose is More Powerful)

By Natalie Rivera Many gurus, coaches, and personal development junkies espouse the intention to “discover your passion” and presumably “follow your passion” once you’ve found it. Following your passion is pretty strait forward. Once you discover it, do it. Got it. But, there is a vital flaw in this notion of “discovering” your passion; it gives the impression that your passion is hiding somewhere waiting only to be unearthed. It perpetuates the myth that finding one’s passion is like falling in love at first sight. “Aha! There you are! I’ve been waiting to find you my whole life!” This isn’t at all how passion works.

your life with an explosion of fireworks. Passion is cultivated. And, it begins as an often-undetectable interest. I’m sorry if that disappoints you, but I promise this new way of looking at passion will lead to greater fulfillment than believing it’s locked away somewhere and you haven’t found the key.

6 Characteristics of Passion Development 1. Passion often develops accidentally. It begins as an interest or inclination. You have an

Passion is not something that you have or find, it is something you DEVELOP. The reason this misunderstanding is SO IMPORTANT is because many of the people who are determined to discover their passion get frustrated and disappointed when they don’t find it. They feel like they’re trapped in a wild goose chase or a never-ending hunt for a phantom lightbulb moment. Because they are. They think there must be something wrong with them. They judge themselves for not having that “one thing” that clearly stands out as their ultimate passion. They don’t love anything so much that they’d dedicate their lives to it or that they’re so enamored with that they’re frothing at the mouth. It becomes even more infuriating for those who also expect this passion to be paired with a distinguished talent. And when they find themselves unable to unearth any latent talent or hidden passions, despite their obsessive digging, they question their entire existence. The good news is that this conundrum can be overcome because it’s based on a belief system that is totally flawed. The truth about passion is that it develops over time. You’re not born with it. It’s not a latent emotion that needs only to be triggered. It doesn’t show up in

unintended experience that triggers intrigue, whether it’s a science fair experiment in elementary school, a guest speaker in high school, or an enthusiastic college professor who made an otherwise uninteresting topic suddenly appealing. Once this interest is triggered, you follow the impulse and look into it. Sometimes the interest quickly fades and other times you continue to seek to learn more or to experience it again. 2. Passion takes encouragement and exposure. In most cases, the initial encounter with the object of interest isn’t enough to seal the deal of passion. It takes multiple events and experiences that retrigger the interest over time. Having a mentor or parent encourage further exploration or future exposure is often the catalyst needed to anchor a stronger interest in the topic. 3. Passion isn’t always enjoyable. Passion begins by following interests that are intrinsi-

cally enjoyable. You continue to follow an interest because you enjoy what you’re doing. However, as your interest begins to develop into a passion and you get more involved, it becomes more challenging. There may even be aspects of this activity that you don’t like or that feel like a chore. But as the level of passion develops, the benefits outweigh the costs. 4. Passion doesn’t require talent or skill, at first. By definition, when we are first beginning at anything, it starts out as something we’re NOT good at. Passion has to start with play—a willingness to explore for curiosity’s sake, not for the reward of being good at it. This is one of the things that holds people back from developing their passion—they’re unwilling to do something they’re bad at. Even in the situations where some level of natural ability may be required, true skill and talent are developed over time. 5. Passion takes practice. In order for proficiency to develop, which invites a deeper level of exploration and further develops passion, time and effort must be applied. For an interest to develop into a passion, the knowledge or activity have to become second nature. A skill or expertise must be developed. This ability allows the activity to reach a higher level of enjoyment, when it leads to a state of flow. And in order to reach this level of mastery, it takes deliberate practice. Not simply exposure or repetition, but commitment to improving through hours a day spent dedicated to the endeavor. 6. Purpose amplifies passion. When passion is directed toward a higher purpose, a higher level of meaning and fulfillment can be achieved. Purpose is the conviction that what you are doing matters because it’s integrally connected to the wellbeing of others. When you can see the impact your passionate efforts make, you feel even more strongly about what you do.

So, what do you do if you don’t have a fully developed passion?

1. Have you allowed yourself to follow your impulses or interests? Or do you brush them off as unimportant? 2. Have you put yourself in situations where you could have more exposure to your interests or get more support? Or do you 1. First, let yourself off the hook. live within the bounds of your Recognize that a life spent modercomfort zone? ately pursuing varied interests will not lead to a clearly identifiable 3. Have you allowed yourself to passion, and that’s okay. Stop trymove forward even in the face of ing to force it. It’s never too late to the unpleasant aspects of your pursue your interests. And, having a interest? Or have you expected single, high-intensity passion is not perfection and rejected hard Sub-title. Sub-title. Sub-title. Sub-title. a requirement for a fulfilling life. work or necessary effort? Sub-title. 2. Second, beingSub-title. with what you DO 4. Have you allowed yourself to play know. Even if your interests and and fail? Or have you avoided inclinations are moderate, follow your interests because you aren’t the trail. Deep down you know great at them? certain things you have NO inter5. Have you applied yourself to est in and others that you do. Aldeeper exploration through low yourself to explore and play. 3. Third, be open to trial and error. Don’t be afraid to guess if you’re not sure. There isn’t just one thing you can become passionate about. And don’t be afraid to stop pursuing any interests that lose their appeal. Trying many things, even more than once, is how interests are identified and developed. deliberate practice? Or have you left the development of your passion up to chance or “when I feel like it?” 6. Have you considered the impact you would like to make in the lives of others and the meaning this would bring to your pursuit?

Purpose is more powerful than passion.

Sometimes focusing beyond the narrow confines of one’s own interests and embracing the broader implications of our life’s pursuits can be a much more compelling motivator than simply a feeling of passion. Not only does passion focused toward making a difference in the lives of others take the experience of following one’s passion to another level, it can also be the trigger for that passion in the first place. If there were a shortcut to passion that bypassed the long journey of interest development, it would be a calling to fulfill a higher purpose. A deep desire to contribute that stirs us at a

Shoot for making the difference in the world that YOU are uniquely able to make, and the passion will follow.

And lastly, consider if any of the characteristics of passion development have been holding you back.

This last question is perhaps the most important of all.

personal level can be just the catalyst we need to dive full-bodied into an activity. And once we’re engaged at such a high level, we are compelled to continue our exposure to our cause, we’re driven by a deep level of fulfillment, and we deliberately commit to continuous improvement. A passion is born. And, this is why I believe that “discovering your PURPOSE” is a much better aim.

Ignite Life with Natalie Rivera

Natalie Rivera is a firestarter, speaker and entrepreneur. She is passionate about empowering others to GET REAL and live authentically. After a decade of living a life that wasn’t hers and developing Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Natalie let go of everything and completely transformed. Through her journey to healing she rediscovered her true self and greater purpose—to inspire others to transform their lives. Natalie “retired” from the rat race at 24, put herself through school as a freelance designer, created a non-profit teen center, and later created Transformation Services, Inc., which offers motivational speaking, curriculum development, life coaching, event management, and publishing. She is also the Publisher of Transformation Magazine. Visit www.ignitelife.me.

7 WAYS TO 7 Ways to Increase Tra n s p a re n c y in Business

INCREASE TRANSPARENCY IN BUSINESS 7 Ways to Increase Transparency in Business

IF YOU TAKE CARE OF PEOPLE, IN THE END THEY WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU. by Kristie Kennedy We live in a society that is driven by capitalism and consumers are becoming more astute each day. Marketing has taken a new direction and it is based on authenticity, relationship building and transparency. The power behind promotional campaigns rests in the ability to connect emotionally and psychologically. It is no secret that the lifeblood of any organization is rooted in strong relational bonds. Moreover, women account for 85 percent of purchasing decisions, ranging from automobiles to healthcare, and their choices to do business are often motivated by an instant emotional connection. Here is an easy acronym to re16

member when thinking of becoming entrepreneurship. She pulls on our heartmore transparent in business: strings when she talks about how she didn’t have enough money to purchase pampers for her child. He was wrapped in a wash towel and she declared in a pivotal moment that she would never be broke again. Her ability to be transparent even to this day creates an unshakeable bond with her loyal audience.

S.H.A.R.E. I.T. 1) SHARE THE START. Who doesn’t love a good un-

2) COMMUNICATE HONESTLY.

derdog story? Lisa Nichols, coauthor of Chicken Soup for the African American When you conduct your busiWoman’s Soul, has become a master ness from a place of integrity it fosters storyteller. She shares how difficult current relationships and becomes aplife was during the beginning phase of

pealing to potential clients. If the shipping was delayed due to an unforeseen technical issue, express it to the consumer and honor that person, perhaps with a complimentary item for any inconvenience. It only takes one great encounter to gain a client for life and it also only takes one unpleasant experience to lose that customer’s business for good.

letter is more endearing than a cold email. If someone contacts you via telephone please have the courtesy to respond back in the same manner. Social etiquette is always appropriate. Connect frequently to your buying audience and invest in their life before you ask them to increase your bottom line.

“Nothing is so powerful in making others feel important as giving them your undivided attention.” 3) PAYPeople ATTENTION. are always telling you

what they need. The question is are you listening? The mouth is inspired to speak from thoughts residing beneath the surface. How many reoccurring complaints have you received about a specific product or service in your company? Are you continuously distracted during business meetings with technology? Every interaction with the public from employees, shareholders and clients will communicate a message that you are either thoughtful or thoughtless.

4) REACH OUT. If you want to boost your know,

like and trust factor pick up the phone to talk directly or face-to-face through video conferencing and connect deeply with your potential clients. We have lost the art of human touch in our technology-saturated society. The written

When questions are asked pertaining to your moral values address them swiftly. The longer it takes you to resolve issues, the more likely your audience is to become suspicious. Do not allow an insignificant molehill to become a mountain of mayhem.

7) BUILD TRUST. The foundation upon

which your success stands is in the ability to foster trust every single day. Business leader Jon Gordon stated we should, “Value long-term relationships more than short-term success. When you are transparent with nothing to hide you can easily radiate trust.”

Always remember, 5) LEAD BY no matter what EXAMPLE. If you expect transparency business you are from your team it starts with you. What type of culture do you desire to in, you are in create—one that is toxic or nontoxic? Research shows productivity, trust and profitability increases as a result ONE business of transparent leadership. If your toptier management is unsteady it is only and that, my a matter of time before the organizational structure collapses. friends, is the 6) RESPOND IMMEpeople business. DIATELY. Today’s businesses dwell in a world where speed leads, especially on social media. Around August of last year we saw Joel Osteen come under fire for not responding in a timely manner to the public.

If you take care of people, in the end they will take care of you. Ask yourself this question, “How can I enhance my leadership skills today in order to be a more effective leader tomorrow?”

Queenfidence with Kristie Kennedy Women’s Worth and Wellness expert. Kristie Kennedy, is a global transformational leader who empowers emerging entrepreneurs seeking to enhance their image, increase confidence and communicate proficiently. She is the owner of Queenfidence® Image Consulting, providing personal development and peak performance training to 21st century transformational leaders. For more information visit www.queenfidence.com or www.kristiekennedy.com

Get Real in the New Year

GET REAL IN THE

New Year With another new beginning, we can choose to be kind, compassionate and loving.

By Mary Boutieller

Welcome the New Year with all your hearts! Let go of anything that no longer brings you joy or purpose.

Shed the skin of your past lives and welcome the possibility to begin again, to start over, to be the person you were meant to be. There is always a tinge of excitement for me as one year ends and another begins. I become rather philosophical about the year that has passed—the good and the bad, the times I when haven’t been true to myself and the times when I have felt really “real.” As author Margery Williams writes in The Velveteen Rabbit:

“Real isn’t how you are made. It’s a thing that happens to you.”

because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.” I think “realness” does take time. It takes the ups and downs of experiential living; it takes a willingness to get hurt, to love, to be vulnerable, to be wrong. It requires us to put ourselves out there more than once, to get “bitten” and yet not give up on our vision, other people or the world. It means “living out loud” with courage and humility, as many times as it takes, until we find that our hearts resonate with the experience of others, because we have had those experiences ourselves. The Skin Horse finally says:

That makes sense to me. I often feel as if I am becoming more real each year as I grow in experience and wisdom, as I learn the lessons from another season in my life, as I distinguish between the person I am and the person I want to be. In paraphrasing a quote from Gandhi: Can I strive each day, in my actions, thoughts and words, to be the person I wish to see in the world? Much like the Golden Rule, we get to choose how we treat others and ourselves. My hope is that with another new beginning, we choose to be kind, compassionate, real. In The Velveteen Rabbit, the Skin Horse says to the Rabbit: “…It doesn’t happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all,

The more we see and feel and know our true selves, the easier it is to honor that road, that journey. Once we become aware, we can’t become unaware, at least not fully. We can fall back, but we will feel the discord and know we’re off track. It’s not about perfection or judgment or getting it right all the time. It’s not about “keeping up” with anyone else. It’s about a feeling-state of love—that high frequency energy—that can infuse everything we do. In a lovely article in Mindfulness Magazine, Elisha and Stefanie Goldstein wrote an article titled: “Could You Connect More?”

“Once you are real you can’t become unreal again. It lasts for always.”

Here are some of their suggestions: 1. Really see each other. Making eye contact with someone…can relieve stress and create a deeper sense of connection. 2. Listen with all your senses. When we feel listened to, we feel cared about and this increases a sense of mutual love and connection. 3. Reach out and touch someone. Take a day to experiment with actively reaching out to your loved ones with small touches (on the hand, shoulder, knee or arm) and see what you notice—perhaps it’s a greater sense of connection, increased compassion, or an open heart. 4. Hug like you mean it. 5. Practice “Just like me.” DNA research has revealed that regardless of gender, ethnicity or race, humans are 99.9 percent the same. If you want to foster a greater sense of connection in your life, as you go through your day and encounter someone who you think is different from you, silently say, “Just like me,” and see what comes up. You may just experience the awareness that each of us wants the same things: to feel cared for and understood and to experience a sense of belonging. As we notice, relish, embrace and celebrate the good stuff, the yummy moments, the people and things that make us smile and feel warm all over, we fill up the cup of life and keep it running full. When we actively do this, it can help us weather the times when the going gets tough. As this New Year begins, let us treat each other with loving kindness. It doesn’t have to be big or grand. Small purposeful gestures can change the world. Bring the intention of love to your actions whenever possible and move from there. Emmet Fox said: “It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble, how hopeless the outlook, how muddled the tangle, how great the mistake. A sufficient realization of love will dissolve it all.” Wishing everyone a New Year filled with grace, love and ease!

The Yoga of Life with Mary Boutieller Mary Boutieller is a Registered Yoga Teacher through Yoga Alliance. She has been teaching yoga since 2005. Her work experience includes 22 years as a firefighter/paramedic and 10 years as a Licensed Massage Therapist. Mary’s knowledge and experience give her a well-rounded understanding of anatomy, alignment, health and movement in the body. She is passionate about the benefits of yoga and the ability to heal at all levels through awareness, compassion, and a willingness to explore. She can be reached at: SimplyogaOm@gmail.com.

The POwer of

Fun!

We can all learn about happiness—which is success— from THE happiest people on earth: children! by Terez Hartmann Any road that we think has the potential to lead us to success all boils down to this: We think we’ll feel good (or simply better) when we get there. Those who truly understand the Law of Attraction know that focus is everything, so when you choose to focus on feeling good NOW and remember that NOW is also when you ALLOW, you get to ENJOY now (oh darn!) AND “feed your babies” (your desires, dreams, visions) with the VERY THING that brings them to life! Because most children make it their mission in life to have fun with EVERYTHING, it’s no wonder they’re so doggone happy! Perhaps they’re on to something?

There’s No Fun on the Fence!

FUN is only truly productive when we hold that side order of guilt. If you engage in fun, yet feel guilty about it, it’s just like putting mud instead of fudge on your ice cream sundae! Though you may be able to work around it somewhat, the overall

sweetness of your FUN day (and the success you are seeking) is tainted and delayed. That said, if you’re inner drill sergeant is saying “NO!” to play time in a strong way, it is actually far better to go ahead and do what you feel you need to do right now while doing your best to find the fun in your task at hand (more about this below). On the other hand, forcing yourself to be “productive” while you are resenting not being able to play results in another version of that icky muddy sundae. As Snoopy would say, “BLEAH!!” The best course of action? Get off the fence and write yourself a permission slip to either go out and play or find the fun in taking care of business. Once you’ve made your decision, focus COMPLETELY and FULLY on doing just THAT. Get off that fence to bring on the fudge (and FUN)!

The Pow-

Find the Fun in It

A Legacy of FUN

When it feels like dedicated play time needs to wait for now, you can still opt to find some kind of fun right where you are. Before you dig in to your to-dos, consider adding some fun elements to your environment or experience like:

One day my husband and I were preparing to meet our son’s first “official” girlfriend. This was a new experience for me, but being that I was one of those “cool” parents who makes her living following her bliss, including performing at hip places like Hard Rock and singing Back-Eyed Peas and Lady Gaga tunes, I felt confident that this would go well. Shortly after meeting this lovely young lady, Sean then decided to tell her about me! How interesting it was to learn that one of my most redeeming qualities was… <insert dramatic pause here>… that I sing a “silly bunny song” when I see rabbits. What?! Dude! What about the fact that I’m an author, speaker, recording artist, entertainer, retreat facilitator, etc., who rocks the house and does fabulously important stuff like helping others transform their lives? Why not talk about THAT? Nope. Nada. Not one peep. Singer of silly bunny songs is all I got. Ouch. Though MY inner child indulged in a full-blown pout for a moment or two, once I was able to approach this experience from a different perspective, I realized that my boy had just taught me a thing or two about what really matters—the times we’ve spent engaging in joy, laughter, love and FUN. When you think about it, the fact that we adults want to see 18,000 places before we die, still like playing with toys (albeit, bigger ones), or have a “bucket list” full of cool things to do simply proves that we all have the same agenda: We ALL want to have FUN and ENJOY our trip around the sun! Another benefit: When you feel good, you are naturally more productive, people are drawn to you, relationships improve, you produce endorphins (which help your cells and body thrive) AND you have the power to make a REAL difference in the world. Perhaps adding “singer of silly bunny songs” to the legacy I leave behind is also a pretty cool and important thing after all?

• Wear something that feels silly or fun, like a goofy hat or T-shirt. • Listen to up-beat music (without words if you need to focus and write). • Keep a crazy-looking object, stuffed animal, or beverage container that inspires a smile or giggle in a place where you can see it. • Take a break every half hour/hour to get up and play with your pet/kids or: o Watch a funny video. o Read something funny/entertaining. o Crank up a song you like and sing/dance along.

o Take a short walk somewhere close by and focus on things like cars with crazy or unique details, stickers, paint colors, etc., or neat/unique architecture, plants, and flowers. o Look at photos of places or people you love/enjoy and picture being in that place or with your fave person/people. o Play a game or use a fun app of some kind.

The Bottom Line on The Power of FUN When our time is done on this trip around the sun And we reflect upon what we have become The more we have loved and had times of fun The less we feel we’ve left undone. Play-time has officially BEGUN!!!

ALLOWING YOUR SUCCESS with Terez “Firewoman” Hartmann

Terez “Firewoman” Hartmann,“Your catalyst for all things Fab-YOU-lous,” is the author of Allowing Your Success!, a proud contributing author of Transform Your Life! book one and two, a professional Keynote Speaker/ Workshop Facilitator, Singer-Songwriter/Recording Artist, “Allowing Adventures!” & “Savor Vacation” Facilitator, and true Renaissance Woman, and Visionary. She keeps her fire lit by embracing and promoting a lifestyle of “Allowing,” and by using creative expression to elevate and ignite the human spirit, a passion that she shares with her husband, soul-mate and creative partner of over 15 years, John Victor Hartmann. Together they share “Allowing TRUE LOVE” workshops and experiences designed to help others attract, allow, and maintain extraordinary relationships, and create custom jingles and voice-overs in their studio, THE Creativity Express. Visit: www.TerezFirewoman.com

Happiness is BS

By Gregg Sanderson The asterisk (*) is the most hypocritical punctuation mark in the world. It tries to turn naughty into nice. It fails. Take bullsh*t for example.

Since it has an asterisk, it’s not a naughty word. Did it fool you? I didn’t think so. In the interest of decorum, let’s just abbreviate it. That pretties it up, all right, but BS exposes its secret identity— Belief System.

That’s what this column is about, and every time you see the abbreviation, you’ll know I’m talking about a Belief System. Right?

Does that mean that our belief systems are BS? YES!

But the very best kind of BS

There’s BS that makes you happy. There’s BS that makes you blue. Is the BS I’m gonna lay on you.

Timeless poetry aside, we all have beliefs that limit our lives in so many ways. They bear no relation to

truth, justice, or the American Way. Your subconscious mind doesn’t care. Whatever you tell it with enough emphasis, it believes. No matter how absurd, it’s true for you. It’s your truth. It’s your BS. Before you could walk, somebody who wasn’t you told you what you can’t do, ways you can’t be, and stuff you can’t have. You learn what you must do, ways you must be, and stuff you must have in order to be happy.

Now, with this potpourri of BS, you go out to live a life dedicated to “Happily Ever After.”

• The less they fit, the worse you feel. • That’s just BS, and you can change it. Good luck with that. • When you do you feel good, and everything works better. The BS is unconscious “programIt doesn’t get any simpler ming,” and directs your every thought, feel- than that. ing and action. It creates stress and runs What’s In It For You? your life. Only freedom, power and great A couple of years ago, I was eyeball to eyeball with the Jolly Reaper. After I relationships. What I’ll show you here left the hospital, I wondered why I survived. will put you in charge of your inner proI decided It was because I still have some- gramming, so you can be as happy as you thing important to contribute to humanity. want to be. But you’ll have to give up pity How noble of me. Then I realized I was just kidding parties, frequent stress and early aging. myself. I decided the real reason is because We’ll explore the beliefs that keep you I haven’t had enough fun yet. Of course, stuck, and others that make you happy. that’s BS, too but it sure lightens the load. You decide which you prefer. What, you don’t believe me? On a deeper level, it’s the secret OK. That’s the first belief to change if you to happiness. In future columns, we’ll see when, want to get to all the rest. Would credentials help? how, and why these unconscious beliefs came about. We’ll discover what they do to Would you believe three PhDs? Neiyou and how you can change them so they ther would I. It isn’t academics, it’s personal experience—over 40 years using won’t do it any more. and teaching this system. It works, and Voila! Happiness. is the closest thing I’ve ever found to a Here’s how it works: fountain of youth. • You feel good when people and cirWell, maybe just the Fountain cumstances fit your BS that tells you of Not Growing Older. Stress causes you how they have to be. to age faster and without it, you age

slower (Duh). Stressful living increases your chances to contract a plethora of maladies. Less stress yields better health, along with less aging, better relationships and happiness. Isn’t that worth some new BS? Of course it is. What’s the catch? It’s a “do-it-yourself” project. You are the only one who can make the changes and you have to be willing do it.

When you reach the point where you’ve suffered enough, the rest is easy. You’ll give up your grip on the familiar, and welcome the adventure of change. A new train of thought is on Track 1. All aboard

Happiness is BS with Gregg Sanderson

Gregg Sanderson is author of Spirit With A Smile, The World According To BOB. He is a licensed practitioner in the Centers for Spiritual Living, and a Certified Trainer for Infinite Possibilities. His earlier books were, What Ever Happened To Happily Ever After? and Split Happens—Easing The Pain Of Divorce. His latest project is the New Thought Global Network, where subscribers can enjoy the best in New Thought presentations from anywhere at any time. You can see it at www.newthoughtglobal.org.

How to Feel Happy Again

How to Feel

Happy Again Three science-backed techniques to get you back on track and have some fun along the way. By Sarah Riley

We are all on a journey of self-discovery, personal growth and selfimprovement. You wouldn’t be reading this magazine if you weren’t. But what happens when life throws you a curveball and you find yourself on a downward spiral? Before you know it you’ll be asking yourself how you got there and what you can do to pull yourself back up to a place of happiness. I had this exact experience at the age of 38. I had a major stroke while I was looking after my 2-year-old and 2-week-old girls, and then after I recovered I went back to a redundant executive position—a job I’d been doing for over a decade. At that time, life was a real struggle and I needed to discover how to feel happy again. I was down,

but I certainly wasn’t out, and during that time I used the following three simple techniques to help pick me up so I could deal with everyday life.

Cleanse Your Space From the 1980s onwards we’ve

been stuck in a cycle of measuring our success by the amount of money and/or material things we have. Back then, as it still is for some today, it was all about accumulating processions.

We often seek pleasure and hedonistic happiness in the purchase of belongings, and use them to distract our minds from what we probably need to be dealing with directly.

This is like sticking tiny Band-Aid The aPowHow attention. To Feel Happy Again on a wound that needs Eventually the patch just won’t be enough. This materialism is a temporary fix that delivers a dose of the neurotransmitter dopamine (our pleasure chemical), and it can lead to an addiction because the more we experience the temporary fix, the more we want it...and so the cycle begins. While this is going on our space is becoming cluttered and difficult to deal with. This, in turn, creates emotional turmoil.

Less clutter allows us to focus on what’s important. Our space also reflects our emotional state like a mirror, so the calmer and more tranquil it is, the more we will be, too. In a 2009 study, evidence showed that women who described their homes as “cluttered” or full of “unfinished projects” were more depressed, fatigued and had higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol than women who felt their homes were “restful” and “restorative.” In recent years we’ve started to discover that wellness and personal happiness are more important that stuff. And we’re no longer validating ourselves with a highly paid job if it doesn’t allow us to achieve our lifestyle goals. We are no longer willing to let our processions be in charge of us. Now we’re in charge! Here is a simple four-step process to decluttering. Go through your home room by room dividing the items into four distinct piles and then dealing with them appropriately: 1. Recycle. If something is broken or missing a part you planned to fix later, get rid of it. 2. Donate. If you haven’t worn or used something in a year then there’s a very good chance you never will. Theses items should go to the thrift shop so others can benefit from them. 3. Sell. If you haven’t used something for over a year but it still has some value, consider doing a garage sale. Use the proceeds to help fund your future bucket list of activities to generate more happiness.

4. Keep. These are the items you know you will use in the next year and beyond.

Practice Gratitude Techniques Scientific evidence shows us that using simple gratitude

techniques and exercises, such as keeping a diary or meditating daily on things for which we are grateful, can really help us feel happier, more positive and give our zest for life a boost. The foundations of this exercise are based in CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), a technique that helps change negative patterns of thinking and improve the way we feel. The idea is that our feelings, thoughts, and physical sensations and actions are all connected. If we have negative thoughts and feelings they can trap us in a vicious cycle, which, in turn, brings more negativity. This method of breaking patterns and making new ones is based on neuroplasticity, which refers to the brain’s ability to rewire and reorganize throughout life based on stimulus from the environment, emotions, behavior and thinking. Developing a gratitude practice not only helps to stop the spiraling of negative feelings and thoughts, it also helps to make new, more positive patterns in thoughts, feelings and behavior. This is an incredibly simple process to put into action on a daily basis.

Get Outside More Often Almost everyone knows we all feel better if we go out-

side, take off our shoes, feel the grass under our feet, smell the

flowers and listen to the birds in the trees. After my stroke, I was desperate to find out how to feel happy again. All I wanted to do was write about camping and being outside when I couldn’t actually go out. So I started a free online magazine called Inspired Camping. Just thinking about it made me feel like I was doing it, and I seemed to physically benefit as a result. Being in nature has long been associated with being mindful and meditative, but only recently has the scientific community researched the mental health benefits of this type of outdoor immersion. It is called Ecotherapy or Green Therapy, and a 2013 study revealed being outdoors was proven to improve mental health, boost self-esteem, help people with mental health problems return to work, improve physical health and reduce social isolation. Another study in 2010 proved that simply spending 20 minutes a day outdoors helps to boost energy levels, zest for life, vitality and resistance to illnesses. Next time you are feeling down or depressed, remember you are just three simple steps away from boosting your mood and your well-being.

“Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present” ~Jim Rohn

Inspired Zest for Life with Sarah Riley Sarah Riley, founder of Inspired Zest For Life, helps women to ditch stress, renew their confidence, improve their health and discover their true calling when they feel they’ve lost their mojo. After surviving a major stroke in 2009, when her youngest daughter was only two weeks old, Sarah earned a postgraduate diploma as a Performance, Health and Wellness Coach with Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) training. She is fully accredited by the National Council of Psychotherapists and the UK’s ACB Academic Board. She is a member of the National Council for Psychotherapists and The Guild of Coaching and NLP. She also was formally certified as a government trainer by the Home Office in London. Contact Sarah at hello@inspiredzestforlife.com or visit www.inspiredzestforlife.com

The Trends of

The Trends of Tomorrow

Tomorrow

Are we ready to look in the mirror and accept our roles and responsibilities as entrepreneurs in the future? By Jo Mooy Every New Year we begin the same personal rituals that usually distill down to the same thing. Transform or change something about ourselves and surely it will be a better year!

Are tomorrows better than yesterdays? That answer depends on an individual’s situation. But if we widen the focus on the lens the answer is clearer and probably yes. The future does look brighter, though it certainly will not be familiar. Current thinking says life unfolds in present moments. We’re coached to follow “the six steps” or “10 steps” or “name the steps” that teach us to focus only on the present and the future will take care of itself. Normally, it’s sane advice! But behind the curtain of all those present-focused moments that consume us, the future is screaming out about what’s coming. If we pull back the curtain on the obvious trends, the future that’s ahead for the Millennials of the 21st Century and their children reveal a look at “Their Tomorrows.” Baby Boomers, once described as the largest population group on earth, have just been replaced by Millennials. Gratefully, they have vastly evolved ideas on ecology, technology, 26

religion, race and jobs than their parents. That’s a good thing. At 80 million strong, they’re socially and environmentally conscious, better educated, will inherit great wealth from the Boomers, and are 95 percent electronically connected. Already, they’ve convinced Wall Street to divest its holdings in fossil fuels proving through business models that they will lose billions of dollars. Their Tomorrow says fossil fuels like coal are dying while sustainable alternatives like wind and solar will surge in the future. Europe and Asia are also defining Their Tomorrows by taking leadership roles in transportation, technology and environmental issues. As these young future leaders focus on reducing fossil fuels, the companies they’ve built are transitioning to self-driving cars, while technology companies are planning to leapfrog their efforts. Ahead of that wave, Britain and Finland banned gas and diesel cars starting in 2040. Finland leads Europe in recycling and Germany leads in solar energy. Right now most countries are focused on immigration and whitesonly diatribes, but by 2050 no single racial or ethnic majority will be dominant. Perhaps that realization is fueling the anger and hatred as old ways of life wither. In fact, Millennials will be the largest racially diverse group in history made up mostly of mixed-race Asians and Latinos. A future homogenized view of society will emerge and tolerance for other cultures finally has the chance of becoming the hallmark of Their Tomorrows.

Ten Billion people will inhabit the planet by 2050, with Africa the most populous continent. India is expected to have a population of 1.6 billion people, equal to the United States and China combined. But we’re getting old. The global population is aging and graying with Japan, South Korea and Germany having the oldest citizens and fewest births. The United States will have more people age 65+ than those 15 and under. These global demographics will rip cultures and religions apart as they struggle to reinvent old beliefs and moral structures. Will this surge of humans cope with the future changes of Their Tomorrows? Probably yes. The same way they did when cars replaced horses; the same way they did when radios and jukeboxes replaced live musicians; and the same way they will now that technology has become an extension of our lives. But what about the psychic changes ahead? We’ll manage those too. For a great spiritual wave of introspection is forming, though for the present it’s subtle. It asks us to examine our behaviors toward one another. It forces us to take a stand for the principles we proclaim. It makes us look in the mirror and accept our roles and responsibilities in our future and Their Tomorrows. It demands that all of us leave the world a better place than when we arrived. If we can do that at both a business and personal level, it’s a certain guarantee that all of Their Tomorrows will be better.

“

Behind the curtain

of all those presentfocused moments that consume us, the future is

screaming out about what’s coming.

Conscious Living with Jo Mooy

Jo Mooy has studied with many spiritual traditions over the past 40 years. The wide diversity of this training allows her to develop spiritual seminars and retreats that explore inspirational concepts, give purpose and guidance to students, and present esoteric teachings in an understandable manner. Along with Patricia Cockerill, she has guided the Women’s Meditation Circle since January 2006 where it has been honored for five years in a row as the “Favorite Meditation” group in Sarasota, FL, by Natural Awakenings Magazine. Teaching and using Sound as a retreat healing practice, Jo was certified as a Sound Healer through Jonathan Goldman’s Sound Healing Association. She writes and publishes a monthly internationally distributed e-newsletter called Spiritual Connections and is a staff writer for Spirit of Maat magazine in Sedona. For more information go to www.starsoundings.com or email jomooy@gmail.com.

Greater Reality Living Greater Reality Living

How would you live and treat yourself and others if you deeply knew that we are eternal beings?

By Mark Pitstick, MA, DC Much evidence strongly indicates that physical death is not the end of your life but, rather, an entry point into the next phase of forever. As we begin to recognize that spirit/consciousness/life force—whatever you want to call it—is eternal, there is an evolving holistic movement for awakening to this “Greater Reality” and enjoying Greater Reality Living.

ASK YOURSELF THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS: 1. Would you like to learn the clini-

cal and scientific evidence that very strongly indicates life continues on after physical death? 2. Do you want more balance, strength and flexibility of your body/mind/spirit so you can handle life’s demands, changes and challenges with style? 3. Would you like to increasingly enjoy the greatest life you have envisioned? 4. Do you want to improve the way you treat yourself and others? 5. Do you feel called to make our world a better place? If you answered “yes” to one or more of the questions, you may be pleasantly surprised at what you can learn. But before proceeding further, let’s answer two important questions: 1. What is the Greater Reality? 2. What is Greater Reality Living?

WHAT IS THE GREATER REALITY? The greater reality is the 99.9 per-

cent of life than cannot be perceived by your senses but is nonetheless very real.

It’s a scientific fact that your five senses, as amazing as they are, detect much less than 1 percent of reality. What is visible to the human eye is just a very small fraction of the entire electromagnetic spectrum. For example, you can’t see ultraviolet or infrared lights even though instruments can measure them. Dogs can hear sounds, such a dog whistle, that human ears cannot detect. Reality is defined as the state of things as it actually exists. Because so much of reality escapes the senses, you likely have viewed life as if through a tiny pinhole and then wondered why things don’t make sense. As the old saying goes, “There is much more to life than meets the eye.” Most people readily agree with this statement, but don’t realize its numerous wonderful implications. Many of your current beliefs about what happens after bodily death may be based on religious teachings. If so, I respect your beliefs and those teachings, especially the ones containing common threads with other great spiritual wisdom sources. Our perspectives are based on contemporary understandings from much scientific, clinical and empirical (based on firsthand experience) evidence. Some of these views correlate nicely with religious teachings while others do not. A Greater Reality perspective indicates, with varying degrees of certainty, that you: • are an eternal being of energy/ consciousness/spirit • do not “lose” loved ones who pass on but, rather, reunite with them when you change worlds • can enjoy a continued, although different, relationship with those who have dropped their physical body • encounter not just one, but many life experiences throughout eternity • are one with the One and an inte-

gral part of Life Source • receive assistance and guidance, synchronistic signs for example, from sources described as angels, guides, masters, evolved energies and the Light • create how heavenly or hellish your life—whether on Earth or elsewhere—feels by your predominant thoughts, words and deeds • are interconnected with other people, animals, nature and all of life • have special purposes for experiencing being on this planet at this time None of the above is apparent when you rely on just your five senses— yet all of the above are essential understandings for having a joyful, peaceful and meaningful human experience.

WHAT IS GREATER REALITY LIVING? The term greater reality living

describes how you might choose to live as you expand your awareness of reality and the information I am sharing. How would you live and treat yourself and others if you deeply knew that, for the list above, the first two points certainly are true and the others are quite probably true? There are five keys to greater reality living, and they can be remembered by the acronym LIVES: 1. Learn That Consciousness Survives Physical Death 2. Internalize This Great News 3. Vitalize Your Body, Mind and Spirit 4. Enjoy the Many Benefits 5. Serve Others and Make the World a Better Place Embracing greater reality living can offer insights, resources and hope for those who are searching and suffering, especially those who are:

1. grieving the passing of a loved one, especially a child 2. fearing their own bodily death 3. struggling with the suicide of a loved one 4. in the process of dying 5. suffering with difficulties such as failed relationships, physical/ mental illness, broken dreams, financial loss, lack of purpose, addiction or addicted loved ones 6. considering ending their earthly experience by suicide 7. mourning the passing of a beloved pet 8. wrestling with past religious teachings that don’t make sense now 9. searching for sensible answers to life’s biggest questions and challenges 10. desiring to enjoy the greatest life they have envisioned 11. wanting to transform themselves and our planet for the better If you are now inspired to take action in your own life and share what you learn with others, local Greater Reality Living Groups are now forming and will be supported by an upcoming book titled Greater Reality Living, which I am coauthoring with Gary Schwartz, Ph.D., Director of the Laboratory for Advances in Consciousness and Health at the University of Arizona. He is a Harvard graduate and former Harvard and Yale Professor. The author of seven books including The Afterlife Experiments and The Sacred Promise, Dr. Schwartz is a serious and well-respected scientist with impeccable credentials. Although we do not have all the answers or the only answers, we are honored to share our understandings so that

others can better understand the Greater Reality and the enhanced quality of life that can accompany seeing more of life’s big picture. Why are we doing this? It’s because so many people have expressed their desire to regularly meet with openminded and heart-centered kindred spirits. They want a nonjudgmental, safe, inclusive and respectful place where they can discuss their experiences and questions. These groups will also explore how

to heal and transform themselves and make the world a better place.

If you are ready to embrace the New Year with a new worldview, then Greater Reality Living is ready for you.

Greater Reality Living with Mark Pitstick

Mark Pitstick, MA, DC, is an author, master’s clinical psychologist, holistic chiropractic physician, frequent media guest and workshop facilitator. With over 45 years’ experience and training in hospitals, pastoral counseling settings, mental health centers and private practice, Mark currently is Director of The Soul Phone Foundation, Vice-President of Eternea and board member of Helping Parents Heal. Mark can help you know and show that—no matter what is going on around you and even though it may not seem like it at times—this earth-experience is a totally safe, meaningful and magnificent adventure amidst forever. Visit www.soulproof.com for free articles, newsletters and radio shows with top consciousness experts.

Get Real in the New Year

Take the High Road

Choose your direction and purpose and create constructive habits to support your life’s vision. by Rena Greenberg During today’s stressful economic and social times, I want to remind you how important it is to stay focused on the positive things you want your life to represent. If you aren’t sure of your direction, you are likely to be thrown off by every curve in the road—an unexpected busy schedule at work, a family member getting sick or a crisis in the world. To avoid that tendency, it’s absolutely essential to consciously choose your direction and purpose and create constructive habits to support your life’s vision. Everything you do in your life has the potential to become a life pattern. As a result, it’s necessary for you to reflect on your choices—the things you do, the words you speak and the thoughts that are running through your mind—to make sure that if they become habits they will be the thoughts, actions and words that support your dreams and passions in this world. The great motivational speaker Zig Ziglar said,

“Of course motivation is not permanent. But then, neither is bathing; but it is something you should do on a regular basis.” If chronic negative or delusional thinking becomes habitual, it can lead to mental illness. Your bad habits can be challenging to break because they are etched into your subconscious mind as “normal.”

Fearful, sad, anxious, unproductive or angry thinking can become an identity and color your whole reality in darkness.

OPEN TO LOVE AND A HIGHER PERSPECTIVE There is only one antidote for mental and emo-

tional pain, and that is love. Likewise, the only remedy for your personal suffering is love and adopting a new attitude. Whether you are struggling with your weight, a relationship or emotional pain, the cure is opening to a higher perspective within yourself—one that allows you to connect to and feel a greater love all around you—a state that encompasses all of you. This greater level of awareness can become available to you through prayer, meditation, communing with nature or self-hypnosis. To successfully engage in these activities, it is necessary to ask your highest level of consciousness to show you and grant you wiser, more loving and truer thoughts, words and actions. The final step, then, is to act on your highest insights and that is often where it becomes necessary to pray for courage and strength. Prayer “works” much like positive thinking. It is not a formula in and of itself for life change, but rather a means to help you to make the changes you need to make. If you would like to lose 30 pounds, you may pray for guidance and through that prayer come to see that you are

Sometimes itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s tempting to discount positive thinking because it doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t last. In my view, that is all the more reason to persist with it. After all, what is the alternative?

overeating as a way to justify your sorrow left over from a lifetime of disappointments. However, you may still be in the habit of pulling into McDonalds whenever you pass the golden arches, or making a beeline for the bakery section of your local grocery store despite your promise to yourself to stick to the items on your shopping list. That doesn’t mean that your prayer isn’t working. It means that you have not taken the next step yet, which is to reprogram your thinking to do things differently than you have in the past. Einstein said that the definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over and expecting different results. Yet, isn’t that what so many of us do in our own lives? For example, if you want to avoid fast food places and bakeries, you have to condition yourself to see yourself and food in a new way. If telling yourself, “I’ll just have this one little piece,” or “I’ll only eat this one more time and then never again,” is something you’ve done hundreds of times only to watch your waistline grow larger by the minute, it’s time to use a new tactic.

THOUGHT HABITS CREATE HABITS OF ACTION. This is true in all areas of our lives. What we focus on grows. If you focus on your loneliness, you are likely to feel even more lonely. If you constantly remember the pain someone inflicted on you, that anguish will be amplified. What makes these facts even more challenging is that the human mind tends to default to the negative. That’s why more than ever you need to flood your mind with positive and productive thoughts and remember all the good that has touched and guided your life. The part of you that wants to convince you that the positive is less true than the negative is simply the dominating nature of the darkest part of the human self. The truth is that the light and the dark both exist, but the quality of your life will be completely different de-

It’s time to change your inner thinking so you just don’t want those foods anymore. pending on which part of the self and the This is absolutely possible. It is just world you allow to drive you. as easy to convince yourself that you need As Zig Ziglar reminded us so to eat ice cream as it is to remember that beautifully, motivation doesn’t last. Howyou don’t want ice cream anymore. It’s just ever, motivation, faith and positive thinka different thought habit. ing are essential if we want to be uplifted

and live the highest level of life possible for ourselves, whether that be in the area of health, relationships, work or contributions to society. What we experience with our five senses each day can leave us feeling hopeless at times. And yet, where there is darkness, there is always the counterbalance of light. Where there is sadness, there must be hope. Where there are self-defeating habits and painful consequences, there is the possibility for healing, transformation and being uplifted. You cannot make significant changes in your life view focusing only on the conscious mind, or you already would have made them. You need to go within each day, practicing whatever form of self-hypnosis, prayer or meditation makes you comfortable. Go beyond the chattering, fearful, repetitive mind and connect with your vast, beautiful, loving heart. There, see yourself and your life and all the “characters” in your drama with greater compassion and the highest intentions. Remember the good that you and the other players in your life have rendered and will continue to offer in the days, weeks, months, and years to come. See yourself happy, strong, healthy, generous, safe, prosperous and connected with all of life. Know this is a turning point for you and make a decision to take the highest road—to choose the thoughts, words and actions that will lead to the greater outcome you desire. As the great Mahatma Ghandi taught,

“Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

Love Life, Live Happy, Live Healthy with Rena Greenberg Rena Greenberg, a Hay House author, can be reached at EasyWillpower.com. Her weight loss and gastric bypass hypnosis success has been featured in 150-plus news stories including USA Today, Woman’s World, The Doctor’s, CNN, Good Morning America and Nightline. PBS stations nationally aired Rena’s show, “Easy Willpower,” in August 2015. Her wellness program is sponsored in 75 hospitals and 100-plus corporations. She conducts hypnotherapy sessions with people all over the world on Skype.

Goals

The Mindset AND Strategy for Achieving Your

Stop Trying to “Discover Your Passion”! (…and Why Purpose is More Powerful)

The Mindset & Strategy for Actually

ACHIEVING YOUR GOALS By Joeel Rivera, M.Ed.

Like we mentioned in our welcome message... Cliché or not, setting goals is VITAL if you want any chance of fulfilling your dreams with your career or your personal life. Most people only consider their goals once per year—around New Year’s Eve and these people who explicitly make resolutions are 10 times more likely to attain their goals than people who don’t explicitly make resolutions. We want YOU to reach your goals, so we’re giving you OUR “not-your-every-daygoal-setting” process that WE use to meet or exceed our goals EVERY YEAR.! In over a decade of studying human potential and psychology, coaching and training individuals and team members, and running our own businesses—we’ve learned why most people and businesses fail at achieving their goals.

Step 2: Simplify you will receive by achieving this goal? Look at your list and group items • What does this mean to you? that are similar or that can be combined • How will it feel? into one larger goal. • How will it impact your life? • What will happen if you don’t achieve Step 3: Prioritize this goal? Look at your simplified goals and circle the ones you feel are your highest priority. Rate each circled goal on a scale of 1 to 3, 1 being the highest priority and 3 being the least. Step 4: Identify 1 to 2 major goals for this year Looking at your priorities, identify 1 to 2 goals that: • Will make the biggest impact on your life (create your BREAKTHROUGH) • Will take about a year to implement

The truth is that most people don’t have the mindset for success. They don’t have goals and they don’t make a plan, and when they do, they don’t use an effective strategy for executing their plan. Achieving any life goal requires knowing 3 things, which we refer to as “The 3 D’s.” In order to know these 3 things, you must ask 3 questions.

DESIRE: WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT?

Step 1: Brainstorm Write down everything you can think of (big or small) that you would like to change, achieve or do. For the purpose of this activity, focus on long term goals that you want to accomplish within 1 year. Feel free to dream further into the future, just make sure you narrow down to 1 or 2 yearly goals. If you have a goal that will take longer than 1 year, identify what part of it you CAN do in 1 year and write it down. Goals can be personal, work-related, or both.

THE 3 D’S

Desire: What do you really want? Drive: Why do you want it? Do: What do you need to do? 34

(this cannot be something you can bang-out in 3 days or a month)

DRIVE: WHY DO YOU WANT IT? When making changes in our

lives and working toward larger goals, there are 2 common things that lead us to stop. 1. First, we get distracted with life. We get busy and encounter roadblocks 2. Second, we feel uncomfortable with the new change and go back to what we know Why do these things happen? Because we didn’t have a big enough WHY. We don’t have a strong enough drive or motive. Our ability to follow through on implementing lasting change depends on having strong enough reasons to keep us focused and committed through the hard times. By identifying the true outcomes you’re looking for, which are usually how accomplishing the goal will impact your life or make you feel, you will have a stronger motivation because you’ll understand why you want the goal. Look at the goals you’ve chosen for the year and ask yourself the following questions (for each goal): • Why do you want to achieve this goal? • What is the outcome you believe

DO: WHAT DO YOU NEEDNowTOthatDO? you’ve identified where

you want to be in 1 year, you can chart a course to get there.

Step 1: Monthly Milestones: • The next step is to break down each major go into smaller sub-goals. This is called “chunking”. Think of your goals as the “big picture” and your sub goals or milestones as the bit-sized achievements that make your goal approachable and keep you motivated. • Brainstorm again. For each goal, considering where you want to be in 12 months, brainstorm all of the things you need to do or have in order to reach that goal. Start by thinking about what would you need to accomplish in 9 months in order to be close to completion in 12 months? Then continue to work backwards to 6 months, and then to 3. Write down everything you can think of. • Then, group items together, with the goal of creating 12 “milestones” or bigger steps, each of which will contain smaller tasks. • Lastly, put the milestones in order of when they would need to be completed. These 12 milestones will represent the 12 months of the year. Of course, you don’t know exactly how and when everything will unfold—you are making your best guess. Step 2: 60 Day Plan: Now it’s time to create your shortterm goals. Research shows that anything that is planned more than 60 days in advanced is most likely going to change. So, take the goals you determined in the first 2 months of your milestones and break them down further into sub-goals. • BRAINSTORM: What the tasks you will need to accomplish in the next 60 days in order to accomplish your milestones? Write down EVERYTHING you can think of. • PRIORITIZE: Then, arrange them in order of priority and what NEEDS to be done first before moving on to the other things.

Creating a roadmap for your goal and putting it down on paper helps your brain be able to hold the vision of the big picture and the real-life action steps at the same time. This is vital! Step 3: 1-Month Plan: path to achieving these milestones. • Take those priority items and put them If you “wait and see” if you can in a list for month 1 and put the rest in get to it, you won’t. Your week will unfold Sub-title. Sub-title. Sub-title. Sub-title. a list for month 2, and save it for later. and you’ll be at the whim of other’s priori• Sub-title. For each projectSub-title. goal, brainstorm ALL of ties, not your own. Leaving your planning the TASKS you will need to accomplish off at the “work on this month” level often in order to reach your goals in 30 days. means you’ll get to the end of the month Write down everything you can think of. and find you’ve made little (if any) progress. • Prioritize each item on a scale of 1 to Step 4: 1-Week Plan: 4, 1 being most important OR needs to Step 1: Determine WHERE you’re be done before you can begin on other going to put your list. Our favorite places tasks and 4 being least important or to keep track of our weekly plan include: time-sensitive. You now have the next • In a daily planner 4 weeks’ tasks (1 through 4). • On a white board where we can see it • In a planning or task app on our phones or computers Just make sure it’s someplace visible and easily accessible Step 2: Schedule a weekly stratA small percent of the population egy session. In order to establish the habit set goals and create plans that get them to of a weekly strategy session, you absolutely this point. If you get this far, you’re ahead of MUST SCHEDULE IT IN! Choose a time the game. However, most people who reach that you will sit down for 20-30 minutes the point of having a plan for the month still EVERY WEEK to plan the coming week’s don’t accomplish their goals. Why?

DON’T STOP HERE

WEEKLY PLANNING IS THE #1 MOST IMPORTANT ASPECT OF PLANNING. Why? Because THIS is where PLANNING meets ACTION. By their very nature, sub-goals in your 30, 60 or yearly plan CANNOT be action items NOW. But, you CAN take actions NOW that will keep you on your

tasks. Many people make their lists first thing Monday morning. Unfortunately, it’s easy to get sidetracked by emails and other distractions on Mondays, meaning many

people put off their strategy sessions. Another common time is Sunday evening, which helps eliminate this problem. However, we’ve found that Friday afternoon is the best time to plan for the coming week. Why? Because everything is fresh in your mind and come Monday morning you already know exactly what your priorities and goals are for the week and you can jump right in. Step 3: Write Your “Ta-Da” List: WE CALL IT A “TA-DA” LIST because “To-do” sounds like an unpleasant list of tasks that you have to do, while “ta-da” is more inspirational. Every time we finish a task, we cross it off and say “ta-da!” Celebrating even the little victories gives us a sense of accomplishment and builds momentum. We enjoy it so much, in fact, that if we find that we’ve completed a task that we didn’t already have on our list, we ADD IT to the list just so we can cross it off! Take the #1 items from your Monthly Plan and write them down as Actionable Tasks. If needed, break tasks down into sub-tasks. Identify which tasks are a priority (mark 1 through 3) and plan to do level 1 FIRST or write them down IN PRIORITY ORDER. This is your ta-da list for the week. Schedule any tasks that are time-framed into your daily planner and assign other tasks to specific days of the week, when required. Keep the rest of your week’s list someplace easily accessible to refer to throughout the week when identifying daily goals. Step 4: Create Your Daily Plan: Every day, look at what you have on your SCHEDULE as well as your weekly Ta-Da list. Write in your 3 to 5 sub-goals/tasks for the day and then IGNORE EVERYTHING ELSE.

Transformation Coaching with Joeel A. Rivera Joeel Rivera is a visionary creator, coach, speaker and serial entrepreneur. He is a former psychology professor with Master’s Degree in Counseling and Education and is currently completing his dissertation for his Ph.D. in Psychology, with an emphasis on happiness. Joeel infuses a deep understanding of the science of psychology and human potential into all of his programs. He has worked with thousands of organizations, INDIEpreneurs and life coaches who are committed to mastering the power of their mind and creating their destiny. He has almost 40,000 students from 170 countries around the world. Visit www.IgniteLife.me and www.Transformation-Academy.com.