Transformation Coaching Magazine, April 2018 by Transformation Coaching Magazine

Staying Comfortable is Your

RISKIEST OPTION! Our brains are wired to put our own survival above every other priority, and because of this it creates boundaries around the actions that we take in order to keep us safe. This is what is responsible for those times when we feel apprehensive, resistant, anxious, afraid. It’s our brain telling us “stay safe!” “this is risky!” What is predictable makes us feel comfortable. We call it our “safety zone”, but the problem is that:

Comfort is NOT the same thing as safety! In fact, sometimes comfort is the riskiest option. Think about this example: one of our clients was looking for a new job for the first time in 25. She was afraid to use today’s effective strategies for job hunting because they were outside of her comfort zone. She wanted to use the same methods she used back then. She felt comfortable with it and felt it was the safe way to approach it. But, her comfort zone was dangerous. Her comfort zone would have left her unemployed. In order to succeed in today’s job market, she was going to have to do things she’d never done, that felt uncomfortable, because change is what was actually safe. Sometimes the safest thing you can do is take a risk. And the riskiest thing you can do is play it safe. Joeel & Natalie Rivera, Publishers

COACHING & BUSINESS TOOLS Why You Need a Magnet Message Coach Spotlight: Clarisha Martin The Anatomy of Attachment, Part 3 Transformation on the Trail: The Awakening Man

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INSPIRATION & GROWTH Follow the Sunflower: The Jorney Begins... Proclaim Your Power All You Need is Love The Investment that Always Appreciates Walk in My Shoes

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FEED YOUR SPIRIT Hypnosis for Permanent Change The Holiest Spot on Earth

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PUBLISHERS Natalie Rivera Joeel A. Rivera, M.Ed.

EDITOR Lisa Cedrone

CONTRIBUTORS Natalie Rivera, Terez “Firewoman” Hartmann, Clarisha Martin, Mary Boutieller, Scott Masciarelli, Gregg Sanderson, Lotus Josiah Seng, Marla Sanderson, , Rena Greenberg, Jo Mooy, Alan Cohen

Why You Need a Magnet Message (Avoid the #3 Mistake that Most Life Coaches Make)

WHY YOU NEED A

MAGNET MESSAGE

(Avoid the #3 Mistake that Most Life Coaches Make)

By Natalie Rivera In the first two articles in this series, we revealed the two biggest mistakes that most life coaches make, and how to avoid them! • The #1 biggest mistake is to coach everyone. Instead, you need to identify a coaching niche that allows you to offer your unique gifts and targets a narrow market (not general). • The #2 biggest mistake is to sell “coaching”. Instead, you need to focus your marketing on the RESULTS that you offer your clients and create a signature coaching package that packages your gift and is designed to get your clients the results you promise.

So, now it’s time to complete this enlightening series by unveiling the third detrimental mistake.

THE FOLLOWING 3 MISTAKES ARE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A COACH RELIES ON PASSION ALONE TO GROW THEIR BUSINESS: 1. They try random marketing strategies, like shooting darts in the dark, and hope they work 2. They create a website and business cards and think that’s enough 3. They do nothing Why do they do this? Because they believe that if they follow their passion the money will come. They tell them-

#3 Biggest Mistake Most Life Coaches Make is Believing That Passion Is Enough Yes—by all means, you want to select a coaching niche you’re passionate about. However, passion is not enough to create a successful coaching business. You may be passionate about helping women during their mid-life transitions, or perhaps you are a successful entrepreneur and you want to help other entrepreneurs through start-up. That’s great, but if the niche you’re trying to attract is too big and hard to reach—such as “midlife women” or “entrepreneurs”— you’ll be spending all of your time trying to market “coaching services” with very little results. (see Mistake #2) Even more importantly, passion is not enough to get you through the inevitable challenges that await you as a life coach. Passion isn’t enough to get you clients. You need to learn proven marketing tools and strategies. You need to run this like a business, not hobby.

selves, “it will work out if it’s meant to be.” But this isn’t true. It will work out if you channel that passion toward a clearly defined goal, using proven strategies, which, of course, you have to be willing to learn. I want to make sure you don’t become another coach who gets get stuck being a best-kept secret, playing it small when you could be making a real difference in the lives of those who need you. That’s why I want to share this powerful secret—that passion does not market your coaching for you. But, simply doing marketing doesn’t sell your coaching either.

The truth is that NO market strategies work without having a magnet message.

Most “gurus” say that in order to market your coaching you need a blog, logo, website, email campaign, marketing system, social media followers, Facebook ads and more and more time consuming (and expensive) things. It’s enough to make you want to hide in a cave. So, here’s the good news. That couldn’t be further from the truth... You don’t need any of these marketing methods to get started. Look, there’s nothing wrong with all those things, they are great and they work. But, here’s the deal. None of that matters if you don’t first have this one thing. You have to develop your “magnet message” because it’s what is going to attract clients to you. You can’t have a coaching business without clients!

SO, WHAT MAKES YOUR MARKETING MESSAGE MAGNETIC?

• You know your tribe of ideal clients: your TRIBE is your ideal clients— they’re the people who already want what you have to offer • You focus on the results you can offer them: your coaching meets their needs (if it doesn’t, see last month’s article where I discussed creating a coaching package). • You tell it to them in their language: direct your marketing copy DIRECTLY to these specific people by speaking their language!

A MAGNET MESSAGE IS THE ANSWER YOU GIVE TO THE FOLLOWING QUESTION:

What do you do? If you’re like most coaches, you struggle to explain what you do. You’re probably doing your best to tell people what you do and they’re either not getting it or they’re not interested.

The problem is probably that you’re making this one critical mistake… You’re focusing on you and what YOU do. “Hello, my name is Sally and I’m a life coach. I offer 3-month coaching packages and (dot, dot, dot)” Me, me, me. The problem is they don’t care about you or even what you do. They care about themselves and their problems and whether or not you can help get them RESULTS. Plus, you’re potential clients aren’t interested in boring titles and processes either. They don’t care HOW you help them or what it’s called, they only care that you can get them results.

They don’t care about the vehicle you use (coaching), they care that you can get them where they want to go (the results). And in many cases, you probably never even give your spiel because you don’t feel confident in it. It’s like you know you can make a huge difference in people’s lives but it’s so hard to explain it without feeling like a fool or, worse, feeling salesy. So many coaches feel this way and so they hide. They hide behind their fears by making getting clients more complicated than it needs to be. They hide behind the belief that they first need to become experts at social media and build fancy websites. They think they need more social proof or fancy credentials. And the sad truth is that they never really put themselves out there, which is unfortunate because they could really help people positively transform their lives. If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve had the experience of either trying to explain what you do, and failing, or you have avoided having to do it altogether. And it’s a shame.

I believe strongly that if you can transform an area of someone’s life, it is your moral obligation to tell them. And, you should tell them in a way that they “get it”, they get excited about it, and they agree to work with you so you can help them change their lives. And that’s why I want to help you finally determine exactly how to explain what you do in a way that your ideal clients truly “get it” right away! You’ll know how to tell them how you can help them without just focusing on yourself, feeling awkward, or sounding salesy. You’ll feel clear and confident and the potential client will feel interested and comfortable with you. If you don’t get past this one giant hurdle and determine exactly how to explain what you do, you’ll continue to not enroll the number of coaching clients you need and people will continue to miss out on the difference you could be making in their lives.

CREATING YOUR MAGNET MESSAGE AND UNLOCKING THE EFFECTIVENESS OF YOUR MARKETING: Step 1: GET TO KNOW YOUR TRIBE Sit down and really ask yourself who your ideal clients are—their traits, demographics, interests, and most importantly, their needs. Then, ask yourself how THEY would describe the problem that they have—the one that you can solve with your coaching. Do a little research and find your ideal clients commenting on Facebook posts, blogs, or in forums. Or, get a shortcut and check out the termi-

nology that the ABSOLUTE BEST coaches in your niche are using on their websites. Step 2: SPEAK YOUR TRIBE’S LANGUAGE Once you know the words that they use to talk about what they need, you can speak their language in your marketing. This is powerful because when your marketing copy shows them that you understand their pain, and have a solution for it, they’ll “get it” instantly! Step 3: DETERMINE YOUR VALUE What problem are you solving for your clients? What is the result you are offering (that you determined in with the previous article.) Once you know the outcome your ideal clients is looking for, you need to identify why it matters to them— what’s the value it offers? I don’t mean the price, I mean the worth. Here’s a short activity: • Imagine you could offer someone a shortcut to solve the problem your coaching solves. How much would that be worth to them? How much money, time, stress, or pain would it save them? • What powerful transformations will help in their life because of the results they will get through your coaching? • What painful experiences will they have if they remain where they are now and never take this step and solve their problem? After you’ve brainstormed these questions, make a list of benefits or outcomes your clients will experience when they work with you. Step 4: WRITE YOUR MAGNET MESSAGE So, now you know who your tribe is, you the language they use to talk about their needs, and you understand the value they see in the results you can offer. The next step is to put this together into a magnet message, or elevator pitch.

SO, WHAT EXACTLY IS AN ELEVATOR PITCH?

You walk into an elevator and your perfect potential client walks in. You’re heading up to floor 10. Now is your chance to introduce yourself. Ready… go! That’s where the name came from… the idea that introducing yourself and your business should not take you longer than it would to ride in an elevator—so 30 to 60 seconds. But don’t worry if you don’t regularly find yourself in elevators. That’s not the point! You never know who you might run into at a cocktail party, or the movie theater, or grocery store…or any other number of places.

An elevator pitch (or speech) is a quick persuasive speech that is used to create interest in your coaching. They highlight who you are, what you do, and instills curiosity so they want to hear more. The truth is that most people have a hard time answering, “what do you do?” Sometimes it feels impossible to sum up what we do and why it matters. Plus, because most people don’t take the time to identify a scripted elevator speech, what they say ends up being boring and leading to a kind “that’s nice.”

Being able to introduce yourself and quickly express what you can do for people is a vital skill as a life coach. Once you develop your elevator pitch, you’re going to use it, or variations of it, everywhere you go and in all of your marketing materials. Below is a simple template activity that will give you a good structure to your elevator pitch. What makes it a “magnet message” is not the structure you use, but the fact that your elevator pitch is targeted directly to your tribe of ideal clients, it speaks their language, and it focuses on the results you offer.

ELEVATOR PITCH TEMPLATE I + action verb (help, guide, teach, provide, present, aid, assist, support, give, evaluate, assess) + negative emotions being experienced (frustrated, overwhelmed, clueless, demanding, frightened, desperate, struggling, angry, concerned, worried) + ideal client description (dog lovers, young adults, chronic pain sufferers, overweight wo/men, homeowners, business owners, brides-to-be, new mothers) + “who want to…” (what they want – increase their profits, find the relief they need, become fit and healthy) + solution (discover a process, learn a fast and easy way, create the perfect solution, uncover the best method, determine the number one reason, realize the best course of action, find the dramatic solution, position themselves, place themselves first, find out everything they need to know) + benefits – “so that they can…” (list 3 benefits – live a pain free life, build the business of their dreams, feel they’re getting the most value for the money they pay, receive the highest value, obtain the best guarantee, receive award-winning service, receive the highest level of expertise at the lowest possible price).

So, I hope you can see that when it comes down to it:

Marketing is really about communicating the RIGHT message to the RIGHT audience. Share your passion… but share it though a magnet message! If you do, you’ll unlock the success of ANY form of marketing you choose.

There are many other ways to write an elevator pitch, so download the FREE MAGNET MESSAGE / ELEVATOR PITCH CHEATSHEET at http://www.transformation-academy. com/elevatorpitch/

Ignite Life with Natalie Rivera

Natalie Rivera is a firestarter, speaker and entrepreneur. She is passionate about empowering others to GET REAL and live authentically. After a decade of living a life that wasn’t hers and developing Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Natalie let go of everything and completely transformed. Through her journey to healing she rediscovered her true self and greater purpose—to inspire others to transform their lives. Natalie “retired” from the rat race at 24, put herself through school as a freelance designer, created a non-profit teen center, and later created Transformation Services, Inc., which offers motivational speaking, curriculum development, life coaching, event management, and publishing. She is also the Publisher of Transformation Magazine. Visit www.transformation-academy.com.

Follow the Sunflower: The Jorney Be-

Sunffllflower

gins...

Follow the

The Journey Begins...

by Terez “Firewoman” Hartmann

“Firewoman!” James “King James” Champion shouted as Terez entered with drum in hand, flower in her hair, and spirit ablaze with energy to ready herself for a fabulous jam. It had been quite a while since she drummed with the Sun Drummers, but she knew that as soon as the rhythms began to dance on the air, her hands, body, mind and heart would remember. Terez had just come through one of the most intense periods of her life. While much of her knowledge, faith and creativity continued to flow, her body and mind had most certainly let her know that she had covered many, many miles of challenging terrain in the past year. Many of her friends and fans wondered if she had fallen off the face of the earth, or if she was just too proud to be “vulnerable,” but

she knew that anyone who TRULY knew her understood that she was just a different bird who preferred to process things in her own time and space. The typical female practice of “venting” just did not work for her—on the contrary, it made her feel worse in most cases— and because of this she often felt that if she had a “girl card” it would have most certainly been revoked by now. If things were to change, she had to find a way to chill-the-f-out and create a new groove; so the idea of picking up one of her drums and joining in the “Great Heartbeat” seemed like it could be just what the doctor ordered. With every beat of her djembe, Terez could feel more and more of her life force flow through her, and soon she allowed herself to let go and fully ride this magic carpet woven of gossamer threads of energy and sound. As the drumming continued to swell and soar, she suddenly found herself… …standing outdoors by a field of… …Sunflowers? “What on earth?” she thought. Though she still heard the sound of the drums pulsing in the background, she felt herself drawn to follow another melody that seemed to emanate from somewhere within the field. Even as a barrage of questions flooded her mind, giving her every reason why this was a bad idea, a deeper, more powerful impulse soon had her stepping boldly forward along a small path that led to an unknown point somewhere within the mass of yellow and green. Without knowing why, she knew she would not stop until she found the source of the music. As time passed and she walked for what seemed like a good 30 minutes, the melody grew louder and loud-

er until finally she came upon a clearing with a large barn off to her left. “Aha!” she thought. “I knew there had to be something here! But this is a BIG building?! How could I not have seen it from the road?” She shook off the thought and made her way toward the music and the barn, and there, inside this old, dilapidated building, was an elegant, graceful, woman playing a beautiful PURPLE baby grand piano adorned with a fabulous arrangement of sunflowers in a glistening silver vase. Once again, her mind went to work, “How did this woman and this huge instrument end up here? There’s no vehicle, no driveway and no road!” But as she relaxed into just enjoying the magic of the music and this moment, a wave of warmth moved through her body and tears formed in her eyes. It was in this instant that the “mystery woman” at the piano looked up and said, “I knew if I used music, you would find your way here. Welcome, Firewoman.” Okay. Now things officially got weird. “How do you know my name?” Terez asked. “Oh, Terez, I know far more about you than that, and I’ve been helping you and cheering you on for a very long time. I guess you can say I’ve known you your entire life—and then some.” “Then how is it that I don’t know you?” said Terez. I mean, you feel familiar to me—actually very much so—but my mind can’t seem to grasp when or how we’ve met before? And that PURPLE piano—OMG! I have

NEVER seen anything so spectacular! How did you manage to get that HERE?” The woman laughed and said, “Oh, honey, I do SO appreciate your inquisitive mind, but sometimes, without meaning to, you let it get in the way and make things FAR more complicated then they need to be! Let’s make a deal, okay? How about we discuss the logistics later and get down to the REAL reason why you’re here?” Terez’s head was spinning, but she took a breath and stopped to consider the whole picture: • She was completely immersed in a field filled with THE flower that had long held so much significance for her. • She was drawn to this place by music that seemed to call to the core of her being. • She was now looking at the most beautiful piano she’d ever seen— and even in her favorite color. • She was talking with someone she’d never met in the middle of nowhere, who just-so-happened to know her name—and perhaps a whole lot more—and who seemed to have some message for her.

Yep. This HAD to be some kind of lucid dream. At the same time, she was JUST drumming with the guys at the Dunedin Brewery and was VERY much awake… Rather than twist her brain into an even more tightly tangled pretzel, she decided to trust her gut and just go with it…whatever “it” was. Before Terez could utter her next word, the mystery woman interrupted with, “Good. I’m glad you’re trusting your feelings and have decided to stop analyzing and rationalizing what

is beyond the confines of your mind, and let your heart receive what I’m about to share.” Wow. Dream or hallucination or whatever this was, this woman REALLY knew her, so perhaps it was time just to let go and listen. In that instant, a dazzling hummingbird came zooming into the barn and hovered right in from of Terez’s face (practically landing on her nose!). This was followed by stunning yellow butterfly, which lit upon the flower in her hair; which was THEN followed by the most adorable little bunny, who gently hopped over to her and sat at her feet! Terez was utterly speechless. As the mystery woman smiled through a mischievous grin, she said,

“When things feel good to you and you continue to see and experience feel-good things and symbols that really matter to you, you ARE absolutely, positively, definitely on the path of experiencing MORE good— and good CAN continue as long as you allow it. Each time you second-guess yourself, dissect every detail, or wait for ‘the other shoe to drop’ you, unwittingly bust your groove and leave the party YOU had created. “I know you already ‘know’ this [wink], but perhaps it’s time to really, fully TRUST this and allow yourself to move

beyond the ‘joy threshold’ that a lesser version of you created long ago? “Perhaps it’s time to truly move onward, upward and forward into an even freer, fuller version of yourself, and let that fire in your soul REALLY blaze?!” Terez looked into the eyes of this increasingly familiar woman and formulated THE question that had indeed burned in her heart and mind for far longer than even she had realized… “How?” And with that, the mystery woman’s eyes danced as she said, “That, my friend, is precisely what you can and will discover if you’re open and willing to take the journey that lies before you.” Before her brain had time to interject and deliberate the terms and conditions of what could transpire, her heart leaped out in front to say, “When can I start?” At that exact moment, she felt an impulse to glance upward through the rafters and gaps in the ceiling of the old barn, to feast her eyes upon a magnificent bald eagle rising in the sky. It was then she knew her journey had already begun. Find out what happens next in the May Issue of Transformation Coaching Magazine or visit www. TerezFirewoman.com/Blog

ALLOWING YOUR SUCCESS with Terez “Firewoman” Hartmann

Terez “Firewoman” Hartmann,“Your catalyst for all things Fab-YOU-lous,” is the author of Allowing Your Success!, a proud contributing author of Transform Your Life! book one and two, a professional Keynote Speaker/ Workshop Facilitator, Singer-Songwriter/Recording Artist, “Allowing Adventures!” & “Savor Vacation” Facilitator, and true Renaissance Woman, and Visionary. She keeps her fire lit by embracing and promoting a lifestyle of “Allowing,” and by using creative expression to elevate and ignite the human spirit, a passion that she shares with her husband, soul-mate and creative partner of over 15 years, John Victor Hartmann. Together they share “Allowing TRUE LOVE” workshops and experiences designed to help others attract, allow, and maintain extraordinary relationships, and create custom jingles and voice-overs in their studio, THE Creativity Express. Visit: www. TerezFirewoman.com

Coach Spotlight: Clarisha Martin

spotlight COACH

Clarisha Martin

Set Your Victim Free If we lack the strength to push through the adversities of life, there can be no lasting change.

Most of us remember the iconic advertising phrase, “The mind is a terrible thing to waste.” My take on this slogan is, “Time is a terrible thing to waste because you don’t have a grip on the mind.” I spent exactly two weeks searching for all of the correct words to say in this article and, even though this is a grand opportunity to share with the Transformation tribe, I find it incredibly challenging to present my life story. I read article after article to gather ideas on how to capture your attention. (After all, we’re seeking to inspire and empower here, right?)

I need to be able to share my story without putting you to sleep while fitting in with the format of the magazine. At the beginning of the journey, the pen was my friend. Words flowed, and it seemed as if magic was spilling into the ink that formed them on my notepad. This magic created such depth that I knew it would captivate you from the very beginning:

“From the moment of my conception, I was born with one foot in the grave. A cursed product of an erection while the world prepared a red carpet for my rejection.”

How deep and dramatic... and entertaining. Just what most of the world wants to read about. It screamed: “Read me, read me; I’m good enough!” My mind presumed it was free, but I was starting off playing the role of victim. Why? Was it so that you and I could establish some form of imaginary connection, although we’ve never met? Or, was I trying to articulate in a way that would deliver passion and have you riding a train of emotion that would perhaps break your mental shackles?

I spent so much time trying to get my mind organized that I lost my mind. I began having problems with my memory and fell into a total dead zone. I developed what felt like the mother of all brain fog! I lost my creative energy trying to fix something that was never broken and find what was not lost. All of this while being a stay at home wife and mother of six kids ranging from the ages of 7 months to 3-year-old twins to 7, 10 and 14.

Yep, this was one mentally exhausted mommy!

BREAKING FREE Looking back at life, I have grown

to understand that society’s problems today have nothing to do with our past experiences. In our early years, most of us are just a bunch of self-absorbed sappy pants and skirts looking for a free pass in life with a “give me, give me” mentality. Until we reach a level of maturity and self-awareness, most

of us are comfortable living uncomfortably, and we make other people responsible for doing what we refuse to do for ourselves. We become the victim. On my journey, it was not the hurt, frustration and neglect of childhood that held me back from emotional healing for 20 years. Sure, the sexual abuse, parental neglect and physically abusive relationships I experienced were all sad points along the way, but, in truth, all of my youth and most of my twenties were spent choosing to play the role of a victim—and that’s what blocked my transformation. I could not figure out that I was free in a physical sense because I allowed my mind to stay trapped in those dark times and, as a result, lived a very miserable life. I even tried to commit suicide at one point.

I often wonder why I didn’t make the decision sooner to take ownership of my life... ...but that, too, is in the past. I must let go of pining over missed opportunities for greatness. I began to heal when I started taking responsibility for what I could control and releasing the hurt of my past. It was over! I was finally free.

The most significant challenge was to step outside of the walls that I’d built around myself. At that point, I understood that we form our views based on our personal life experiences, which mold us into who we are and create the potentials for our future. To view ourselves as a victim in this process is to say that we are actively experiencing a crisis in the present moment, and the situation becomes hopeless. In other words:

If we lack the strength to push through the adversity of life, there can be no lasting change. Do you understand where I’m going with this? We get to decide the direction in which we focus our attention. The mind has the power to manifest feelings based on where we choose to focus our attention the most. If we want happiness and freedom, we must redirect our thoughts toward things that help bring our desires into our reality, just as you decided to shut off the world around you and read this article.

The next step is to stop trying to live your life according to others’ expectations of who you should be, how you should speak, or how you should write a magazine article! We all have attributes that are specific to our selves, and they resonate with our tribes—those people who form a community for us. We are sure to find our place in the world when we allow ourselves to embrace our individuality and personal truths. We all have grand ideas, but often we choose not to explore them because they are not in alignment with the status quo. Let’s break that barrier. Embrace life as it is at this moment, create a vision of your future, and see it manifest into reality. As heir to God’s Kingdom, you are royalty—and only you have the power to crown yourself happy! However, that happiness needs to come from within. External happiness is conditional and only works as long as the source can keep up with your emotional demands; one wrong turn and it’s gone. One of the many laws of life is that while we are here in the world, time obeys our decisions, whether they are positive or negative. We can’t stop time, but we can influence our experiences along our timelines. Don’t waste your time by refusing to take ownership of your life today to create a greater tomorrow. Believe in your ability to overcome. You’re worth it. Your tribe is waiting! Set your victim free.

Clarisha Martin grew up in the small country town of Clinton, LA. In October 2017, she received her Happiness Coach Certification and Relationship Workshop Facilitator Certification from Transformation Academy. She is the wife of Ernest Martin Jr. and the mother of six, including a set of identical twin daughters. Clarisha’s greatest passion in this lifetime is to help women and girls around the world to tap into their inner power and live happier and more successful lives. Thanks to the unconditional love of her family she has gained the strength to become a successful, self-accountable woman. For more information email welco.hbp@gmail.com.

Proclaim Your Proclaim Your Power

Power

Find your inspirati afraid of the powe own wonderful he difference ou

By Mary Boutieller

I’ve been contemplating the idea of “power” lately and how the word itself and its manifestations feel to me. Oddly, the word “power” has often had a negative connotation in my life and has never really resonated with me. By definition, power usually means authority, supremacy, control or influence. As seen so often in the news, it seems endemic that one country, one company, or one person tries to control or maintain power over another. So for me, for a long time, power meant control over someone or something—as opposed to the possibility of power within. In my yoga space, encircling a large round window, are the words: Beauty, Joy, Wisdom, Life, Love, Peace, and Power. Even there, the power word has often felt as if it didn’t belong with the other words. Recently, I sat and looked at the words again. I questioned my aversion to the idea of power and wondered what it was that was creating discord for me. As a child, I grew up in a chaotic and uncertain household. Often I felt powerless to control the circumstances of my life. Whether it was a parent, the school, authority figures or others, I remember feeling unable to affect what was happening around me. As a teenager and young adult, bosses, family, even friends informed and sometimes dictated my choices because I wanted to get along, be liked, fit in. In those years, I started to “test” my personal power, but even then it didn’t feel like power per se. It felt more like survival. These days, especially if I watch too much of the news, I struggle with the abuses of power I hear about, with those who have the most trying to control those who have the least. Yet, power isn’t the enemy, is it? And that’s when I realized I had been looking at the essence of the word incorrectly. Power, like so many things, can be used for good or can be self-serving and negative. Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.” Then I looked at Mahatma Gandhi who used his power to move a nation from subservience to freedom. And Mother Teresa, who used her power to care for sick and the dying around her. Herein lies the secret to accepting and embracing our power. It resonates with me when I use the power within me not to control but to

forgive, not to berate but to build up, not to hate but to love. We all have the power to be the angels of our better selves, to look up to people instead of down at them, to be love-finders instead of faultfinders. Take a moment to breathe that in! Leo Buscaglia, one of my favorite authors, said, “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” He tells a story in one of his books about walking into a hospital to visit someone, suffering a massive heart attack and literally falling into the arms of a cardiac surgeon, who saved his life. Now that is power! Stories of heroism, compassion and true strength are everywhere if we are willing to look. Here is just one link to stories I found about ordinary people doing amazing things: https://www. theodysseyonline.com/10-stories-amazing-peopleamazing-things. These are the stories of power—or indeed empowerment—that speak to the soul of our humanity. So, how can we both empower ourselves

ion and be not er within your eart to make a ut there.

and empower others who we meet along the way? Here is one way, and it happened to me. I was out to breakfast with my stepfather, Tom. We go to breakfast almost every Friday morning and have been doing so ever since my mom passed away. I can’t say that we are always on the same page, as he leans one way politically and I lean the other way and, sometimes, our discussions can get a bit boisterous. Well, one morning we were talking about all manner of hot-button topics. We are always respectful, and often it is more banter than anything else, but to an outsider’s ear, it might sound otherwise. Well, mid-conversation, an elderly man walked up to our table. He had been sitting in the booth right across from us. He said hello and commented on the day. He asked our relationship, and I told him I was Tom’s daughter. He smiled the biggest, most genuine smile and I swear he had a twinkle in his eye as he said, “How wonderful it is to see the two of you spending time together. Do you know how lucky you are to have such a close relationship?” He went on to say how rare it is in the world and he wished us a nice day. The entire encounter took about 2 minutes, and it shifted the energy of our entire breakfast. We went from having a heated debate to appreciating the time we were spending together. We talked about how nice it was of that man to stop by and say hello, and I found myself being that much nicer the entire rest of the day. Now that, my friends, is real power. And we all have it within us. The power to shift perspective, to be seen, to be vulnerable, to be real, to say hello, to be present, to be kind. We have the power to step in and lend a hand, to smile and hold open a door, to be heart-centered human beings in the world. I’ve often thought of that one timeless and straightforward lesson, and I am grateful to have been in that place at that time, to receive this stranger’s wisdom.

It doesn’t take much effort. What it takes, maybe, is just simple awareness and the willingness to act. Margaret Mead said, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” And Steve Maraboli said this: “We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.” Finally, in case you think you are too insignificant to affect change, here is a quote from the Dalai Lama: “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” Find your inspiration and be not afraid of the power within your own beautiful heart to make a difference out there. We have the capacity to empower ourselves and each other, to start the ball rolling, to fuel the cause of love, one small kind act at a time. It doesn’t have to be big or “significant” in a newsworthy way; it just has to be genuine. I leave you with this quote by Joel Osteen: “Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what you’re doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving something outside yourself power over your happiness. You can choose not to let little things upset you.” Indeed, the choice is ours. The moment is now, we have the power, so let’s begin today. Wishing you a truly powerful day!

What power do you hold in your own hands right now? And can you use that power to make this crazy, messy, mixed-up world a better place?

The Yoga of Life with Mary Boutieller Mary Boutieller is a Registered Yoga Teacher through Yoga Alliance. She has been teaching yoga since 2005. Her work experience includes 22 years as a firefighter/paramedic and 10 years as a Licensed Massage Therapist. Mary’s knowledge and experience give her a well-rounded understanding of anatomy, alignment, health and movement in the body. She is passionate about the benefits of yoga and the ability to heal at all levels through awareness, compassion, and a willingness to explore. She can be reached at: SimplyogaOm@gmail.com.

Transformation on the Trail: A Powerful Experience of The Awakening Man

Adventure lies in the e of discovery and the e of the unknow

Transformation on A Powerful Experie The Awakening M

excitement exploration wn.

the Trail: ence of Man

By Scott Masciarelli As the eight of us huddled around last night’s smoldering campfire, taking in the peace of a cold, misty morning, our local guide Eddy enthusiastically shouted, “Let’s Go Pumas!” His voice jolting us to our feet, inspiring each of us to start another day of adventure on the trail. We were feeling stronger, clearer and more connected. We could feel the strength and awareness of a puma expanding in each of us. The puma is known for its swiftness, power and ability to manage fear. An animal which represents what we often aspire to be: a strong, selfcontrolled human courageously moving through life. And it also happens to be one of the three sacred animals (along with the snake and the condor) worshiped by the ancient Incas, as well as the modern Andean people.

Some of us travel to take a break from life, others travel because they have to (i.e., for business), and some travel with an intention to experience adventure and to return home with a shift in perspective. Last year a buddy and I discussed our dreams to create a transformational adventure experience. As both of our work centers around personal development and deep conversations, the idea of taking this platform into an outdoor “classroom,” sounded very appealing to us. Our vision was to create, not just a retreat or a vacation, but a perspective-shifting adventure which would take us into a region of the world where intellectual expression and spiritual exploration were the norm for hundreds of years. A place with incredible natural beauty where there would be an opportunity for us to learn from local, indigenous people and understand their relationship to life and the Earth. Dreams do come true. What emerged was “The Awakening Man,” a transformational adventure experience into the sacred, Valley Peru, where eight men explored their power, purpose and potential while hiking their way to one of the 7 Wonders of the Modern World. This experience was enhanced by our local guide, Eddy, with his expert knowledge of the Andean way of life, Incan beliefs and his deep reverence and respect for the Incan people and their culture. Throughout the week, there was an ongoing invitation to connect and learn about the significance of the sights and sounds of the Sacred Valley. Eduardo, our Shaman and a descendant of the Quechua people, offered traditional ceremonies to complement our workshops, meditations and conversations. This created a unique and powerful blend of western and indigenous learning.

Adventure lies in the excitement of discovery and the exploration of the unknown. Our trip had all of that and so much more. The three days we spent on the remote Lares trek provided us a majestic classroom for workshops and deep discussions. The perfection of nature’s balance, solitude and open space inspired and encouraged connection to the self, each other, the land and the local people. Reflecting on the powerful combination, Eddy, our Puma guide shared, “Brothers, this is an amazing experience I will never forget.” As the week progressed we felt the energy and connectedness to “Pachamama” (Mother Earth). Each of us was enthused by the aliveness we felt and were viewing all with an expanded heart and

through the lens of love, appreciation and possibility. It was as if we did put on rose-colored glasses. I recall looking at a flower thinking,

“Was it always that beautiful?” The process of transformation, specifically self-transformation, was deepened in each of us. All participants agreed that The Awakening Man lived up to its name. At the conclusion, we left not as a group of guys going on a trip but as pumas, the strong animal revered by the Incans. The power of transformational travel is that that the awareness continues long after we have returned home and unpacked our luggage. It has continued for each one of us almost a year later.

Awakening Journeys with Scott Masciarelli Scott Masciarelli met Jonathan Hermida during a coach’s retreat and after few conversations, they soon realized they had a common desire: to combine transformation and travel. Awakened Journeys is the result of two dreams that came together serendipitously on the island of Bali, Indonesia, in 2016. They knew, from their own experiences, that some of the most transformative experiences of their lives took place when they stepped out of the known of their day-to-day worlds and into the unknown of a new culture, environment and experience. In June, 2018, The Awakening Man 2.0 welcomes both men and women from around the world who are seeking a deeper connection to themselves, the world and each other. It’s an incredible opportunity, which has been timed to coincide with the winter solstice in Peru, one of the most auspicious dates on the Incan calendar. A group of courageous adventure seekers will join together for this opportunity to delve deeply into themselves, connect with their true purpose and shine their light a little brighter in all they do and with everyone they encounter. Become a Puma and learn more about The Awakening Man 2.0 and the transformation possible at www.awakenedjourneys.com.

All You Need is Love

By Gregg Sanderson

Shape up so I can love you unconditionally. “I used to love him unconditionally, but I don’t anymore,” she confessed in a counseling session. She realized it was because he no longer met her conditions. Many people define love based on the books they read, the church they go to, or who’s their current crush. People, events or circumstances may stimulate your love, but they never create it. Right now you are capable of all the love you’ll ever want. It’s a part of you. If that sounds like BS (belief system) to you, it is. Hucksters, TV, and fairy tales tell us love is something you have to earn, find or trade. They think it’s a commodity, right up there with soybeans and pork bellies.

When you love unconditionally, you feel good no matter what’s going on. We call it emotional acceptance.

Traditional ideas about love are built around need. A jillion songs say, “I love you, I need you.” Psychological punditry proclaims relationships are about filling needs. Upgrade to better BS and experience unconditional love.

ALL YOU LOVE IS NEED You approach love asymp-

totically, so you feel noticeably better with every step you take. Nobody I know, however, has ever made it 100 percent of the time. There are many feelings that fit the category of love: mellowness, satisfaction, warmth, appreciation, enthusiasm, excitement, confidence, joy, happiness, bliss. We have even more triggered by need: irritation, frustration, annoyance, hurt, anger, resentment, fear,

jealousy, grief, terror, guilt, worry… and on and on. Needy BS says, “Find your Love.” Better BS says, “Set it free.” What holds you back? Your needy BS. To upgrade your BS, you have to figure out what to let go of and what to replace it with. That can get complicated. What can you tell your subconscious to be sure you create better BS? At first glance, the task seems insurmountable. All those old feelings to release and new upgrades to replace them. Remember, everything your mind accepts is BS. How can you be sure you get better BS? Perhaps we can find one word for ALL the nuances of love, and another for ALL the yucky stuff. How about “OK” and “Not OK.” There are degrees of each, but it all boils down to the fact you either feel OK or you don’t. Your mind doesn’t need any more than that, and this realization can change your life. Next month, we’ll show you the astounding difference this simple viewpoint can make in your personal happiness.

Love and need don’t coexist. It’s like light and dark. When you turn on the light, the darkness disappears.

Happiness is BS with Gregg Sanderson

Gregg Sanderson is author of Spirit With A Smile, The World According To BOB. He is a licensed practitioner in the Centers for Spiritual Living, and a Certified Trainer for Infinite Possibilities. His earlier books were, What Ever Happened To Happily Ever After? and Split Happens—Easing The Pain Of Divorce. His latest project is the New Thought Global Network, where subscribers can enjoy the best in New Thought presentations from anywhere at any time. You can see it at www.newthoughtglobal.org.

The Anatomy The Anatomy of Attachment, Part 3

of Attachment By looking at the person rather than an isolated problem, clients can experience a lasting transformation through the coaching process. By Lotus Josiah Seng

The security of a commitment along with healthy attachment create positive inner work models of self and others based on both clients’ own internal functioning and the outside world—models without significant distortions. Unsafe attachment leads to dysfunctional coping strategies, limited ability to mentalize and problematic relational functioning.

NEUROBIOLOGICAL RESEARCH SHOWS THE IMPORTANCE OF EARLY ATTACHMENT EXPERIENCES FOR THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE BRAIN STRUCTURE... ...and in the coaching relationship

these early relationship patterns are reactivated and influential. The extent to which the coach and the client create a relationship with attachment can 24

impact how positive the outcome of the coaching objectives will be. This is significant because the bonding in the relationship forms the basis for the transformation. For people with complex trauma or challenges, the process of attachment serves as actual therapy, and this process works the same way when coaching relationships are created. Therefore, the pressure in recent years for coaches to work short-term and problemoriented—which has increased sharply since 2010—is not a constructive development. For this three-part series, we will look at relationships and attachment styles of children and adults in parts one and two and then translate them to the coachclient relationship in part three. My goal is to explore the aspects of the client-coach relationship in connection with healthy boundaries, and also to look at how codependency issues form in a relationship and how to avoid having complaints filed against you as coach when a coach-client relationship is perceived as unsafe.

Part 3 As coaches, we have the ability take a step beyond the content of clients’ experiences to look at the way those experiences are told and the reasoning structures that support them. We then can define and understand these processes based on clients’ defensive approaches, introspective skills, motivation and more. Safely attached clients can reflect on their inner world effectively and easily form help questions. They have more insight into their functioning and learn from and integrate new experiences. The “ideal” client is motivated, introspective, and not too dependent nor offensive in the relationship with the coach. Avoiding clients usually communicate that they rely on their strengths. They have learned early to stand on their own and tend so seek help from a desperate need for autonomy rather than welcoming collaboration. Because they avoid emotional dependence, they will have limited insight into their own affective needs and the needs of others. They present themselves as much less problematic than their environment experiences suggest they should be; they minimize problems. Painful experiences are kept away because there was no one to provide comfort and shelter in earlier situations of despair. Because they place their

problems outside of themselves and their environment, they are often described as “not motivated” or “non-introspective.” If an unsafe attached person needs help, it signifies an attack on his or her autonomy, a sign of weakness and proof a problem cannot be solved independently. Therefore, the fear of losing autonomy ultimately can lead to defeat. In these cases, clients are likely to respond in opposition with anger or boredom. The coach may feel the help offer and knowledge are rejected and that the client is not interested in help at all. It is important that the coach realizes that the client’s response here is most likely based on fear of dependence and loss of autonomy. In these situations, gradually help the client to face and tolerate the feelings of fear, pain and sadness. Occupied attached clients will tend to maximize their complaints and communicate helplessness and dependence. They continuously experience fear of rejection, and they closely monitor others, especially those who are emotionally important to them. Their self-esteem depends on the judgment of others, which

makes them very vulnerable. They are constantly looking for reassurance, but at the same time they rarely can be reassured, and reassurance is short-lived because each developing situation implies a new possibility of rejection. They become anxious, insecure and angry when sensing that others are judging them. In the foreground is the fear of abandonment, and in the coaching relationship they will tend to depend on themselves. Typical counter-responses from the coach include taking responsibility for problem-solving. Feelings of frustration, impotence and rejection can arise because the client continues to emphasize his or her impotence and “does nothing” with the help offered. The coach may feel overwhelmed by the objections from a client and experience the appeal of the client as suffocating. Knowledge and understanding of the underlying attachment problems helps to “place” this behavior. Fear of abandonment that has arisen in the context of an intrusive and contradictory upbringing is the central focus of these clients. The primary therapeutic

strategy is to provide security through acceptance and support, while at the same time receiving and limiting the overflowing emotions through confinement by the coach. Unresolved unsecured clients seem to have the most significant chance of developing psychopathology. Children of parents who themselves are insecure and have trauma are often classified in this group. Trauma caused by abuse, violence and loss in connection with the attachment style often classifies mature clients in this group, too. Old traumatic experiences are reactivated by the behavior of others, including their children, so that their views on reality are obscured. Perception is disturbed, and one hears and sees threats where there are none. Even with disoriented unsafe clients, the coach can have a positive impact, but it is essential to have an eye for the attachment style here because theories about attachment styles can be useful to help explain to clients what is hap25

pening. It is valuable because destructive responses in the here-and-now will become understandable to the client. This depathologizes and paves the way to validate feelings and experiences. Understanding and care for the child that the client once was becomes self-evident and part of a healing process.

How Attachment Styles Assist in Coaching

Attention to the client’s language. How does the client tell his or her story? The concept of metacognitive capabilities draws attention from the content to the structure—not just what is told but how it is told becomes very important. The coach must be alert to inconsistencies between the language and the emotion expressed in any given situation. The language itself easily escapes attention, but it is crucial because it says something about unresolved or unconscious experiences or conflict areas. The coach should not be tempted to behave in accordance with the client’s early attachment experiences and, for example, go along in an avoiding or dependent style. The coach must create a situation in which recognition can be given for past suffering and for the strategies that were necessary to survive. In the safe relationship with the coach, in which the feelings and experiences of the client are validated and captured, an ability to mentalize can still be developed, and the client can continue as a safe attached adult. Attention to physical reactions. “Knowingness” of the past is

stored in procedural memory and becomes tangible and visible in our body. These bodily reactions are the autopilot that anticipates and responds to what’s happening around us. Complex hormonal and neurological systems trigger response patterns. These patterns belong to us and are not perceived as dysfunctional. Nevertheless, we all suffer from the consequences of emotional distress, tensions and conflicts. Recognition of the body’s reactions can provide access to feelings and memories that are initially unavailable. Emotional responses are often too vicious or overly corrected, and the control of impulses is either insufficient or too restrictive. Understanding the nuances and the meaning of physical experiences forms the basis for both self-awareness and self-regulation. According to Fonagy, transformational change is more about the connection with another safe person than insight! In this connection, changes may occur in the procedural (unconscious) memory. Psychopathology is often associated with dysfunction of impulse control that is insufficient or too restrictive. Emotional responses are either too fierce or too controlled. Attention to the meaning of the problem or concern for the person. The attachment theory creates a meaningful dynamic around the coach-client relationship. The attention focuses on the client with the concern rather than the dynamics around the concern itself. This is important

because the concern not only refers to pathology but is the result of a coping mechanism. The dynamics reveal what strategy the person originated to survive as a child. The reaction patterns that follow lead to dysfunction, but they are feasible and comprehensible in this context for both the coach and the client. A reevaluation of the client’s current situation eliminates old defenses and the concerns may disappear. Knowledge of the attachment theory raises an understanding of the client, and this approach can help coaches to avoid designing an incomplete track or a track with deficiencies. In other words, the client receives the best possible coaching track if we assess thoroughly at the start of the coaching relationship based on the dynamics of the client, hearing his/her story as it presents itself, and understaning how the client will connect to us as coaches.

In Closing

Today’s increasing focus on short-term coaching contracts and problem-oriented coaching relationships, rather than personal-oriented coaching relationships, is not beneficial. If coaches take a long-term perspective and address the person rather than isolated problems, lasting transformation can be achieved. Moreover, the relationship does not need to be pumped up within a system of problem-oriented, technical and protocol coaching contracts. It is also the baseline for a healthy coach-client relationship that minimizes the risk of receiving complaints in the long run.

Map. Your. Future. with Lotus Josiah Seng, Ph.D. Lotus Josiah Seng, MA., Ph.D., is a Certified Change Management Professional; Certified and Associated IWCA Master Coach; Master Expert NLP; Certified Expert Lean Management Practitioner; and CSSB. She is the owner of ETSbyLotus, LLC, a coaching, mediation and consulting firm with offices in Washington, D.C., Maryland, Virginia and New York. Currently, five coaches are affiliated with the firm. ETS’ team has more than 25 years of accumulative experience as licensed meditators and certified relationship, cognitive behavior therapy, NLP and change management coaching practitioners. ETS’ team consists of C-suite executives who serve as mentors for peers in several industries. The ETS team works as coaches and mediators with companies, couples, siblings, families and executives to foster personal growth, improve relationships, and foster all aspects of healthy and effective communication. ETS’ objective is to inspire leaders and influencers to discover their uncovered potential. Lotus’ vision stems from her solution-focused coaching philosophy. She created the Map. Your. Future.© interactive game and methodology using neuroscience to tap clients’ unique strengths. Her 17- and 18-steps plan results in a creative visual map based on critical thinking and an analytical process towards (shared) goals, missions and objectives. For more information email: lotus@etsbylotus. com or follow Lotus on Twitter: EtsbyLotus or Instagram: Sheswalkingwithwings.

The

The Investment that Always Appreciates

INVESTMENT that Always Appreciates By Rev. Marla Sanderson

Spiritual guidance is priceless—not worthless. What’s important to you? What do you value? It’s been said that what we appreciate appreciates. When you add your positive energy to an action or idea through appreciation, it becomes more positive and more valuable. When you invest your money in it, you circulate worth and prosperity. It’s nice to know what you really value, so you don’t waste time and money on things that aren’t important to you. It’s easy to get caught up in habits or activities that have no real value or to take for granted those that do.

To see what you value, notice how you spend your time and your money.

Life is full of conveniences, yet people are more stressed than ever. We have higher expectations of ourselves to perform, measure up, succeed and be cool—or hot. Ask yourself if you are spend-

ing your precious time on the things you value. Are you happy? How you spend your money reveals a lot about your values. You have a standard of living to maintain and are undeniably entitled to that and more. Your home, car(s), wardrobe and the other “necessities” all cost money. You pay big bucks for subscriptions to use your electronic devices and cell phones, even though life might have been less hectic before they came along. At any given time, it appears that you have just so much money; even though, in reality, it’s not true. The fact is you have access to unlimited resources, talents and abilities from your true Source. Your connection with Divine Mind offers infinite creative ideas and opportunities. Love and happiness all come from within. Many who are on a spiritual path would say it is the most essential part of their life—the missing piece for many that money can’t buy. Plus, it’s the investment that always appreciates! However, many people undervalue spiritual practices or classes that would increase fulfillment and real prosperity. Has some spiritual insight changed your life? Has some teacher opened your mind or your heart to a higher quality of living?

How much is peace of mind worth in dollars and cents? Measure that against the cost of a prescription for the latest happy pill. How much is Love worth? What’s a fair price tag for learning to operate in the world as a powerful creative spiritual being? Is it worth as much as a bad movie and a tub of greasy popcorn? That’s a $20 bill. If it took the same money as a tank of gas to give you the personal tools to make a smarter decision or solve a problem, which would you spend your money on? While stuff breaks down and gas tanks run dry, an expanded consciousness will support you for a lifetime and take you places your car will never go. What is that worth in dollars and cents? The media is filled with ads for practitioners, classes and events that offer a fresh approach to life. How much is THAT worth to you? While you may not respond favorably to every viewpoint presented, spiritual guidance is priceless—not worthless. Next time that love offering basket comes around, you might ask yourself just what that “quality of life” is worth to you. Which will it be? A crumpled-up dollar bill or “$20s from Heaven”? In my mind, you can’t make a better investment than the one you make in yourself.

Practical Spirituality with Rev. Marla Sanderson Rev. Marla Sanderson is a skilled spiritual counselor, speaker, teacher, and workshop leader. She has studied and practiced the Science of Happiness and Science of Mind for over 40 years. Her website, The New Thought Global Network, showcases ideas from many New Thought disciplines. She is ordained in the Centers for Spiritual Living. (Religious Science). Contact her at 727-475-8991, or revmarla@newthoughtglobal.org or visit www. newthoughtglobal.org.

Hypnosis Change

Hypnosis for Permanent

for

Permanent Change

From losing weight to reducing stress, you can access the subconscious mind to make the changes you have always wanted to make in your life. By Rena Greenberg Do you find yourself sabotaging your weight loss or other personal goals? Is it hard for you to believe that it’s possible to change and sustain that change over time? Does it seem as if you often take two steps forward, only to fall three steps back? Even though it may sometimes seem as if we are destined to keep repeating the patterns that have kept us stuck in the past, we all have the ability to change and grow on a permanent basis if we learn to connect to the vast wisdom of the subconscious mind and use tools such as hypnosis to achieve and measure our goals. When our deep-rooted thoughts change, our behaviors naturally change along with them— and that’s how transformation begins. How can you access the subconscious mind to make the changes you have always wanted to make? Let’s begin by taking a look at the difference between the conscious and subconscious parts of the mind. The conscious is the logical, analytical part of the mind. Consciously, of course, you want to be happy and healthy, at your ideal weight, with loving, joyful relationships. What stands in the way of this? The obstacles to success lie in the subconscious mind, which has two parts. The first is the Reactive Mind, and it’s on autopilot; it responds to your environment, both positively and negatively. When you wake up in the morning and automatically turn on the faucet to brush your teeth and jump into the shower, your autopilot subconscious mind receives a positive activation. When you see your child or partner doing something you don’t like, and you react by yelling, most often this is a knee-jerk negative response generated by the Reactive Mind. Unfortunately, it’s this part of the mind that gets people into trouble because it is always prompting them to repeat the same behaviors over and over, regardless of whether they lead to positive or negative results.

Fortunately, it is possible to recover from unproductive, second nature behaviors by accessing the second, deeper aspect of the subconscious—the Wise Mind—which is intuitive and connects to the highest intelligence available to humanity. As a result, it allows you to tap into your greatest resources of love, compassion, wisdom, strength, power and creativity.

THE POWER OF HYPNOSIS

Hypnosis is a state of deep physical relaxation and concentration, and it is one of the most powerful and effective ways to shift sabotaging automatic thoughts and programs from the Reactive Mind. It also accesses the Wise Mind to create new, productive patterns of thinking and behavior. In this state, the subconscious part of the mind is more available to suggestions, and it is possible to replace old mental movies and thought patterns that no longer serve you. Thought precedes all action, but most often these thoughts are below a person’s conscious awareness. For example, when you wake up in the morning and feel compelled to brush your teeth and get dressed, you most likely are not aware that mental movies are driving these actions. Perhaps you see a project that needs to get done at work or have a brief mental glimpse of a luncheon that you are going to be attending later in the day. These images then motivate you to take positive steps and get ready. This is your subconscious mind working for you. What if you are struggling with your weight? When you wake to the sound of your alarm, you are most likely making mental movies about the foods you are or aren’t going to eat that day, and these images are causing you to constrict your muscles and feel tense. When you find yourself pulling into Dunkin’ Donuts on the way to

work against your better judgment and ordering a donut and coffee, you probably won’t even make the connection between your constricted inner state and your undesirable choice. You can use self-hypnosis to increase your awareness of your choices and the thoughts that precede those choices, and then you can positively reprogram your mind. In cases such as this, you can use the hypnotic state to become aware of inner mental movies and adjust them so they lead to the result you want. In the relaxed, focused state of hypnosis, which is similar to a mental massage, you can begin to imagine yourself confident, in control of your life and your eating habits, and making healthy choices easily and effortlessly. You also can specifically imagine yourself making better decisions and how good that makes you feel. As you reinforce images in the hypnotic state, either by working with a trained therapist, practicing self-hypnosis or listening to a self-hypnosis CD, these new responses soon will become second nature. By using hypnosis in this way, you can magically tap into your Wise Mind— which is brilliant and creative—and your whole identity can change.

the various physiological systems in the body using sensors attached to computers. Use of this equipment has successfully documented that a hypnotic state decreases blood pressure, heart rate, muscle tension and sweating response, and at the same time increases peripheral skin temperature.

THE GOOD NEWS

Everyone can be hypnotized. It’s a natural state that we go in and out of every day. When you wake up in the morning, and when you fall asleep at night, you naturally pass through a state of hypnosis. People also can be hypnotized by the media, advertising and the voices in their heads, which tend to repeat messages from the past. If you’ve heard someone say, “I can’t be hypnotized,” understand that it’s because that person didn’t allow himself to be hypnotized. In this process, there are different levels of hypnosis that range from having no conscious memory of the experience (as in hypnotic anesthesia) to not even feeling like you are hypnotized, even when you are responding to suggestions. The good news is that personal change can happen regardless of the level of hypnosis you achieve. For instance, during group seminars at hospitals throughout the country I’ve heard many people tell me that they were sure they weren’t hypnotized, and yet they left the In addition to making seminar and never smoked again or walked and lost 60 pounds and kept it off. That is modifications in your sub- out the miracle of the mind! conscious, hypnosis also Hypnosis is a way to go beyond the limited thinking of the conscious, actually shifts your bodily analytical mind, and the automatic subsystems. conscious reactions to life that cause us to repeat patterns that stunt our personal Moreover, these results have growth. It’s a way to access the deeper, been verified scientifically by the use of Wise Mind, and to connect to our greatest biofeedback instruments, which measure strength, courage and wisdom.

Love Life, Live Happy, Live Healthy with Rena Greenberg Rena Greenberg, a Hay House author, can be reached at EasyWillpower.com. Her weight loss and gastric bypass hypnosis success has been featured in 150-plus news stories including USA Today, Woman’s World, The Doctor’s, CNN, Good Morning America and Nightline. PBS stations nationally aired Rena’s show, “Easy Willpower,” in August 2015. Her wellness program is sponsored in 75 hospitals and 100-plus corporations. She conducts hypnotherapy sessions with people all over the world on Skype.

Walk in Walk in My Shoes

My Shoes By Jo Mooy

Judging others has become a national pastime, and we need to take a step back, have more compassion, and stop jumping to conclusions without the full story.

Recently I was with several women out to dinner and, after the waiter took our orders, there was a brief lull in the conversation. Then one woman, new to the group, asked if we’d seen any of the Academy Award movies. “Only Three Billboards,” I replied. “There’s one you should see,” she said in a delightful French accent. She filled in some blanks about it, including the fact that Allison Janney from West Wing was nominated and won for Best Supporting Actress in the film. “What’s the name of the movie?” I asked. “I, Tonya.” she replied. “The ice skater who hit Nancy Kerrigan on the knee with a pipe at the Olympics? That Tonya?” I asked. Confirming it was Tonya Harding, the conversation erupted into long-held beliefs about Tonya Harding. There were many derogatory comments about Tonya’s shortcomings: her sordid heritage; her lack of class; and her limited education. There was visible pain reflected on the face of the French woman when the comments degraded to calling Tonya, “white trash.” One of the women, noticing the French woman’s expression and wondering if the use of the word had escaped translation, asked, “Do you know what ‘white trash’ means?” The French woman said she had never heard the saying until she came to America, and it upset her greatly. She said she could never understand how Americans use the term so freely without any regard for another person. “There’s such hate and a lack of compassion when they say the words,” she said.

Sometimes, a seemingly casual conversation can turn into a powerful reveal. The conversation stopped. Staring at each one of us, she asked if we knew any of the hardships Tonya had gone through to achieve skating success. A few sheepishly said the only thing they knew about Tonya was what they had seen on the news. “You really should see the film, it may change your mind,” she told us. Her words, filled with sadness, had a significant impact on all of us. We vowed to see the film, not knowing how greatly it would change the conversation. From the age of three, Tonya was the victim of her mother’s verbal and physical abuse. She was psychologically beaten down and told she was worthless. The only thing she could do well was ice skate. But her uniforms, hand-sewn and drab because the family had no money, brought her additional shame. When she married, her husband continued the physical beatings. She eventually dropped out of school to skate professionally, but because of her gritty background she never measured up to the more elegant and glamorous skaters. Her technical abilities, landing a perfect 6 in a triple axel at the U.S. Championships, were blemished by the Nancy Kerrigan incident. Though her husband was the mastermind, she

was blamed and banned from the sport she loved. A French woman, visiting the United States, had called us on the carpet for judging another person without understanding her background. While

we all had strong opinions of Tonya, none of us had walked in her shoes. The film

forced us to do that. We saw what transpired in this woman’s life to make her behave the way she did. How would we have taken the abuse? Would we have fought back to become a great skater like her? It was a major wake-up call.

In this stridently polarized country we live in, judging others is a national pastime. We’re all guilty of it. We do it easily and with great fanfare. We allow the news or social media to supply the opinions that we readily adopt as our own. And, we never seem to be concerned about how the judgments we own are levied on someone else. Why not? Perhaps it’s because we’ve all failed in the basic caution: Do not judge another until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. We left the film with a better understanding of Tonya. We rose to her defense. We vowed to be mindful of judging others. That’s what happens when you Walk in My Shoes.

Conscious Living with Jo Mooy

Jo Mooy has studied with many spiritual traditions over the past 40 years. The wide diversity of this training allows her to develop spiritual seminars and retreats that explore inspirational concepts, give purpose and guidance to students, and present esoteric teachings in an understandable manner. Along with Patricia Cockerill, she has guided the Women’s Meditation Circle since January 2006 where it has been honored for five years in a row as the “Favorite Meditation” group in Sarasota, FL, by Natural Awakenings Magazine. Teaching and using Sound as a retreat healing practice, Jo was certified as a Sound Healer through Jonathan Goldman’s Sound Healing Association. She writes and publishes a monthly internationally distributed e-newsletter called Spiritual Connections and is a staff writer for Spirit of Maat magazine in Sedona. For more information go to www.starsoundings.com or email jomooy@gmail.com.

Holiest The Holiest Spot on Earth

The

Spot on

Earth

When we achieve inner healing, outer

changes flow naturally and organically, with the least effort and no stress. By Alan Cohen It was one of those days when the world was supposed to come to an end. The planets had achieved the crucial alignment, the ancient prophecies were being fulfilled, and psychics confirmed this would be the turning point. Hordes of people were rushing to safety at spiritual power places around the globe. Others had gone on shopping sprees and ran up huge credit card bills after being advised the world economic system was going to crash. Others said goodbye to non-believer loved ones. This was it. I was flying over Europe with a group that had just completed a spiritual pilgrimage. A little girl in the group, age 8, was fearful because she had heard the prophecies. She went to the leader of the group and asked her if, upon landing, we would be taken to a power place where the earthquakes or floodwaters could not reach us. The leader took the girlâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hands, looked her in the eyes, and told her,

definition of a sacred site:

“The holiest spot on

Earth is where an ancient hatred has be-

come a present love.”

“Don’t you worry,

darling. You are the

power place. When you dwell in your spiritual strength, you are safe wherever you are.” spoken.

Truer words have never been

In my many travels, I have been blessed to visit some of the most sacred sites in the world: the Pyramids of Giza, Machu Picchu, the vortices of Sedona, Mt. Shasta, Mt. Fuji, Jerusalem and more. I have immensely enjoyed all of these pilgrimages and felt blessed to connect with the energies there. They are all truly wondrous. Then I came across a quote from A Course in Miracles that made me rethink the

Hmmm. The Course is telling us that because we are spiritual beings at our core, it is the state of our spirit—not geography—that empowers us and makes us safe. Any place where we recognize the presence of God is a power place, which includes right where we stand. The Course also tells us that the fastest route to enlightenment is through elevating our relationships and choosing love where we once chose fear. When you achieve healing in a relationship, and you replace judgment with forgiveness, you are standing on the holiest spot on earth. The ego prescribes horizontal or geographical cures for our pain. If we just changed our relationship partner, job or living situation, all would be well. But if you leave a job or relationship without healing the issues that caused you to want to go, you will just recreate the same situation. Effective changes in the outer world must be preceded by changes in mind, heart, and attitude. When we achieve inner healing, outer changes flow naturally and organically, with the least effort and no stress. The world we see is a screen upon which we project our thoughts. If we entertain thoughts of safety, we will see a safe and kind world. If we entertain fear thoughts, we will see threat wherever we turn. The world has no reality or substance except that which we give it with our mind. If you feel vulnerable, the place to

turn for safety is within. The spiritual guide Bashar says, “Either you are secure, or you are not. There is no such thing as partial security. You must decide the nature of the universe you live in. I assure you that you are secure.” It’s uplifting to visit places considered sacred and spiritually powerful. Just remember that what makes them powerful is the intentions you bring to them. You believe you are visiting a physical place with certain attributes, but you are really visiting a place in your mind. That place is available to wherever you are. A spiritual master finds God in places that others do not. As William Blake poetically described, “To see a World in a Grain of Sand And a Heaven in a Wild Flower, Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand And Eternity in an hour.” You have the power to transform any situation and make it holy. The best way to do this is to search your life for relationships that have been commandeered by fear and liberate those relationships with love. It’s easier to fly to Machu Picchu than face your ex and create harmony where there was enmity. But that is the work before us. People ask me, “How can I connect with my angels?” I tell them, “Find the angels within the devils in your life, and legions of angels will flock to you.” They tell me, “I wish I were at the last supper with Jesus.” I tell them, “Make it through Thanksgiving dinner without getting upset with your relatives, and Jesus will find you. Make that the last supper you give your power away. ” We tend to seek salvation in distant times and places when it is already here for the asking. To create heaven on Earth, take earthly situations and lift them to heaven. Then we will really be getting somewhere.

GET REAL with Alan Cohen Alan Cohen is the author of many popular inspirational books, including the bestselling A Course in Miracles Made Easy. Become a certified professional life coach through Alan’s popular Life Coach Training beginning Sept 1. For more information about this program, Alan’s books and videos, free daily inspirational quotes, online courses, and weekly radio show, visit www.alancohen.com.