Transformation Magazine: Bloom

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INSPIRATIONAL STORIES You Are Not A Petunia Letting Go of “How” A Kite, the Wind and Letting Life Flow When Seekers Become Finders Reach Beyond Fear and Learn to Live Life as an Authentic Adventure We Only Live Today How I Overcame Self-Doubt and Shyness to Become Fiercely Passionate and Confident The World Is Shifting. Are YOU?

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TOOLS & TIPS FOR EMPOWERMENT Living in A-Bun-Dance Instead of Scare-City The Fruit of Your Thoughts What Makes Spirulina a Superfood?

How to Build More Loving Relationships Putting Permaculture to Work in Your Garden and Your Life 3 Powerful Tools for Overcoming Expectations

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COACHING E-commerce Business Ethics: What You Need to Know Discovering the Power of Your Voice Discovering Your Life Purpose After 50

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ENLIGHTENMENT 36 Coming Home 36 Honoring Ourselves 38 Putting Permaculture to Work in Your Garden and Your Life 40 Myth: Women Are the Weaker Sex 40

© Copyright 2017 Transformation Magazine. All rights reserved. www.TransformationMag.com

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Inspiration

You Are Not A Petunia

By Gregg Sanderson

“Bloom where you are planted.”

Baloney. It makes sense if you are a flower, or a tree or a corpse. Somebody else plants you. But you’re a person.

You can plant yourself anywhere you please.

That’s just one of the differences between you and a plant.

There’s more. You can choose the company you keep.

You can converse with others of your species. You can be an insufferable jerk. It’s all up to you. What power! What freedom!

Suppose, you plant yourself in a job you don’t like.

There’s no question you can bloom right on the spot. You can also change the spot, because you’re a you, not a petunia.

The same goes for relationships, location or any other life situation.

This is not to say you can’t bloom where you planted yourself. As a matter of fact, it will help you get to a new plot, if that’s your choice. Few flowers get picked when they aren’t blooming.

Enough with the metaphors. Wherever you are in life, it was your choices that got you there. It’s your choices that keep you there, and it’ll be your choice when you do something else. It can also be your choice to enjoy it all.

What it boils down to is to get rid of your justassoonazzes. … That is, “I’ll enjoy my life justassoonaz 1) I get in a relationship, or 2) I get a new job, 3) I reach enlightenment, or 4) I dump this loser.

Immediate NOW—No waiting.

To quote my favorite people of wisdom:

“…what you seek is not outside of you. It is not a gift from another person. It is yours... Let no one, therefore, hold you hostage. Not your partner, not your boss, not your family...and certainly not your God.”—Neale Donald Walsch “You can’t outdo you, so lighten up with all the “to dos,” the “shoulds,” and the “musts,” and appreciate the magnificence that you already are.”—Mike Dooley “Isn’t it nice to be responsible? You don’t have to depend upon anybody else to make you happy.

Of course, many people do and that’s OK. If not there’d be no such thing as country music.”

—Gregg Sanderson

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Gregg Sanderson is author of Spirit With A Smile, The World According To BOB. He is a licensed practitioner in the Centers for Spiritual Living, and a Certified Trainer for Infinite Possibilities. His earlier books were, What Ever Happened To Happily Ever After? and Split Happens—Easing The Pain Of Divorce. His latest project is the New Thought Global Network, where subscribers can enjoy the best in New Thought presentations from anywhere at any time. You can see it at www.newthoughtglobal.org.

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Inspiration

Letting Go of “How”

By Dana Feldmeier

As I walked the hallway, my stomach was in knots.

After teaching public school for 6 years, I was about to change the course of my career path, and life. It didn’t seem like that long ago that I entered the same office for the interview that concluded with my first post-college job as a 3rd grade teacher.

My love for teaching remained, but my soul was nudging me to make a change. It started when I saw a video online for nutrition school. Typically a thorough analyzer, I signed up for this education program within a few days of watching the video. Something inside me just knew I needed this.

I graduated and became a certified health coach.

Sure, I had “a plan” as to how to go out and begin my new business venture, but saying goodbye to a regular salaried position was scary! I decided to ease my way into this and live at a yoga ashram where I knew I would have a roof over my head and food in my belly in exchange for service as I worked out this “plan.”

Yoga came into my life a few years earlier, a gift from god, to help with the stress of teaching and aid in healing a broken heart. Through yoga I learned to meditate: to sit with the thoughts, emotions, fears, and worries; the mental chatter that was part of daily life. I dove in head-first, sensing the 4

power behind this ancient practice and attended a 10-day silent mediation retreat.

I moved into the yoga center after this retreat, where I was able to spend six months immersed in a spiritual community and meditation became a part of my daily life.

Growing up catholic, I knew about prayer, but it wasn’t until I learned to meditate that I realized I could HEAR God answering my questions and prayers, offering guidance and suggestions. This did NOT happen right away. In fact, at first, my mind seemed to go crazy as I sat in stillness. The thoughts raced at the speed of light. But then in the days and week to follow, as I continued to keep up with the practice, little signs and answers to my questions began to appear. Not during the meditations typically, but some other time of day.

Was this real? There was something out there actually listening in on my thoughts, desires, and prayers? I began to put this theory to the test and asked for signs.

“Okay, God, if you are real, I’d like a pink flower today.”

Imagine my surprise when a woman came up to me and handed me a pink flower the next day. Still, the mind

popped in again—just a coincidence? After all, the pink flow- you are never alone. Right now you are surrounded by beer arrived one day after I requested it. I asked for more signs. ings of love and contain within you a universal energy force I was patient, and they came. When I lost patience, I prayed that can never be extinguished. Yes, you came with a battery for patience and it was returned, along with a sign. For real? pack and you are the recharge station! As you allow your My games and daily chats soul time to be still and recharge, with God continued as I chopped the “how” of your life will unfold in vegetables, folded laundry, hiked the a magical way beyond what you can I believe we are each rocky pathways of the Blue Ridge imagine.

Mountains, and sat amongst the After dreaming of life near guided here with rocks and trees. I have always loved the ocean, I ended up in a beach nature, but this period of my life altown that was a perfect fit for me unique gifts and a lowed me to soak up its wisdom in and developed a business that ala whole new way. Abundance and lowed my soul the time freedom it message to spread. beauty were everywhere, and nothdesired. It started as an inclining, ing in nature rushed or hurried. followed by a big leap of faith and a When my mind traveled pink flower delivered one day late, back to “how” everything was going which was of course, perfect timing. to work and away from the present moment, the teachings of yoga and nature remind me to relax and let everything unfold.

Dana Feldmeier is a certified health coach and essential oil expert.

I also began to differentiate between taking action verses takAs a former public school teacher, she witnessed the health crisis ing inspired action, which never feels forced or rushed.

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I learned about the power of meditation not only when sitting still, but all day long, while engaged in daily tasks.

I believe we are each guided here with unique gifts and a message to spread. If we are too busy figuring out the “how” ourselves, there is no space for God’s magic and gifts.

The message I wish to share, or that God is sharing through me, is that you have an internal guidance system and truly

and over-use of medication first hand. She is passionate about starting little ones on the path to wellness at an early age and believes the best way to do this is to educate and empower mothers!

Through sharing essential oils, remarkable gifts from the earth, as medicine, she empowers women to heal and treat their families naturally! Visit her website: www.SmartCookieNutrition.com to learn more.

This article is a chapter from the book Transform Your Life! written by 60 real-life heroes and experts and available at Amazon.com, BN.com, www.Transformation-Publishing.com and all ebook formats.

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Inspiration

A Kite, the Wind and Letting Life Flow

By Terez Hartmann

Slivers of allowing are ever-present.

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Ask and it IS given. At times, it may not seem so obvious, but there are always answers, signs, solutions and ideas that continue to flow. It is always SO good to know that no matter how dark and stormy your sky may appear, there are always slivers of nonresistant time in your life that can and will allow the light to shine through.

On one particular day, I found myself heading out into the world with some very passionate prayers and intentions in my heart. Sensing the resistance in my current state of mind, I knew that chill time was very much in order. So I suited up to step outside for some rejuvenating fresh air, sunshine and nature time, and intended to be as present as possible with the beauty that surrounded me.

Only moments after walking out the front door, I had a sudden impulse to gaze upward and then suddenly, as if perfectly on cue, a beautiful swallow-tailed kite soared only 10 to 15 feet above me!

As I marveled in the kite’s grace and effortless movement on the winds, it seemed to be the very embodiment of ease and flow in action. Rather than fight and struggle its way into the heavens, this amazing creature seemed as if it had been born in the air; the wind was serving as its ever-present friend and ally, keeping it floating and dancing among the clouds. While I continued to delight in watching this aerial artist master its domain, it became abundantly clear that the light had indeed found its way through my “slivers,” and that answers and insights were indeed flowing at that very moment.

Below are the insights that came to me, which just may add a little light to your experience this month:

• When it is strong and resolute, let it fill your sails to propel you forward.

• When the wind is still, use that as an opportunity to be still, yet at the same time, know that it continues to blow in other spaces and places, and that movement never ceases.

• And when it is wild, rather than fear or fight it, simply step out of its way and bring yourself to a place of calm, where you can step back far enough to appreciate its raw power and celebrate the new territory that is being shaped right before your eyes.

The Bottom Line: A Kite, the Wind and Letting Life Flow Imagine how life could feel if, like the kite, you decided to open your arms, spread your wings, point in the direction you really want to go and just start soaring?

Here’s to remembering that the flow of love, clarity and knowing will always continue to move you onward, upward and forward, and that you and I were also born in the air, destined to ride the winds.

What if you stopped fighting with the wind and instead decided to just let go?

Embracing the Wind What if you decided to relax and allow?

What if you stopped fighting with the wind and instead decided to just let go?

What if you resolved to open your wings (heart and mind) and trust; remembering that life will always support you and those you love in whatever direction you choose to go?

What if you remembered that the core purpose of the wind is to stir things up to help move things into new places, and that every facet of its being truly can bring opportunities for good: • When the wind caresses your skin with a gentle breeze, enjoy and savor it.

“The only way to soar is to spread your wings wide open…”

---from “Open” © 2010 TTRH

•••••••••••••• Terez “Firewoman” Hartmann,“Your catalyst for all things Fab-YOUlous,” is the author of Allowing Your Success!, a proud contributing author of Transform Your Life! book one and two, a professional Keynote Speaker/Workshop Facilitator, Singer-Songwriter/Recording Artist, “Allowing Adventures!” & “Savor Vacation” Facilitator, and true Renaissance Woman, and Visionary. She keeps her fire lit by embracing and promoting a lifestyle of “Allowing,” and by using creative expression to elevate and ignite the human spirit, a passion that she shares with her husband, soul-mate and creative partner of over 15 years, John Victor Hartmann. Together they share “Allowing TRUE LOVE” workshops and experiences designed to help others attract, allow, and maintain extraordinary relationships, and create custom jingles and voice-overs in their studio, THE Creativity Express. Visit: www.TerezFirewoman.com

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Inspiration

When Seekers Become Finders

to proclaim yourself a spiritual seeker. But have you ever thought about proclaiming yourself a spiritual finder? How Every morning after we walk our dogs, two of them would your world change if you started finding more than chase each other around the living room coffee table. It’s seeking?

In the clever and entertaining film Princess Bride, quite entertaining to watch these exuberant spirits tease we meet Inigo Montoya, who is on a each other, bark and run around in lifelong mission to avenge the death circles. The little one eggs the larger of his father, who was killed by an asone on and keeps slightly ahead of sassin many years ago. Inigo is conhim in the chase. Then she stops We have been in the stantly swirling his sword, practicing short and he catches up to her. The seeking business for his revenge statement: “My name is two stand there for a moment with Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. a look on their faces like, “Now what so long that we would Prepare to die.” Finally Inigo catches do we do?” Then the little dog runs up with the assassin and does him in the opposite direction and the not know what to do in. Afterward his friend asks him, other guy takes off in hot pursuit.

“Inigo, now that you have avenged Watching them, it occurred if we found. your father’s death, what will you be to me that their fun is in the chase. doing?” Inigo stops in his tracks, a Once the chase if over, the play is blank look overtakes his face, and he lost. Then, to keep the action alive, replies, “I have been in the revenge they must start the chase again.

If this sounds familiar, it is. We humans are in many ways business for so long that I don’t know what I would do withlike those frisky canines. We thrive on striving, searching, out it.”

That is precisely the predicament in which many of seeking and yearning. When we do get what we want, we are satisfied for a moment, but then we are on to the next us find ourselves. We have been in the seeking business for so long that we would not know what to do if we found. We chase. And the game goes on.

Some of us have been chasing for so long and hard have entertained thoughts of lack so consistently that when that we have developed identities as seekers. We look for abundance shows up we don’t know how to accept it. We things more than we find them. You may even be proud have felt stuck so often that we are uneasy with freedom

By Alan Cohen

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when it is offered. We have been searching for a partner so ardently that we don’t really believe one is out there, and if he or she showed up, we would doubt that person is real.

Such a position calls us to reexamine, challenge and grow beyond the old beliefs that have kept us small. Lack, pain and loneliness are arrows pointing us to discover untrue thoughts about ourselves and life that keep us from having what we want. Rather than simply continuing behaviors that don’t work, we must be willing to see ourselves differently and receive what we have kept at a distance. Put simply, we are being called to let life love us.

The quickest and easiest way to get your needs met right now is to shift your vision. Cultivate your ability to find love, beauty, health, success, peace and abundance right where you stand. Don’t wait for conditions to change for you to have enough. Claim enough right here, and enough will expand unto surplus.

Many years ago I was having dinner with Dr. Wayne Dyer when the subject came around to money. Wayne nonchalantly said, “I have enough money. I don’t need any more.” Hearing that, I jealously thought, “Sure you do. You make $20,000 for a lecture.” Then I realized a deeper teaching was being offered. Wayne had enough money because he decided that what he had was enough. You and I know people who have a lot more money than Wayne Dyer, and they never have enough. They are always worrying about protecting their assets and getting more. We also know other people who have very little, and they are soaring in contentment and joy. So it turns out that finding is less about getting and more about knowing.

A friend told me,

“I used to think I was a perfectionist because I would find the tiniest flaws in everything I saw. Now I realize I am really an imperfectionist because I focus on imperfection. If I were a perfectionist I would find perfection everywhere I look, not imperfection.”

This month I invite you to become a true perfectionist by finding perfection. Look for the beauty rather than the ugliness; love rather than alienation; the whole instead of the broken. You may be amazed to find that what you have been looking for has been here all along. Perhaps James Allen said it best: “Two men looked out through prison bars.

One saw mud; the other, stars.”

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Alan Cohen is the author the bestselling A Course in Miracles Made Easy: Mastering the Journey from Fear to Love. Join Alan in Hawaii this June 19-23 for a life-transforming retreat, Power, Passion, and Purpose: a Training to Live Your Vision. For more information about this program, Alan’s books and videos, free daily inspirational quotes, online courses, and weekly radio show, visit www.alancohen.com.

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Inspiration

Reach Beyond Fear and Learn to Live Life as an Authentic Adventure

By Kara Mosesso

One of my biggest fears is stagnation.

For years, I quieted this fear by embarking on epic adventures a few times per year, from a balloon ride in Cappadocia, Turkey, to summiting Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania, to running one of my overall 25 marathons up volcanoes around Lake Atitlan in Guatemala. After each of these adventures, I returned home to my comfortable (but extremely small!) New York apartment, settled into my 50 hour/week work grind and plugged away diligently as a nurse practitioner. When the feeling of stagnation settled in again, I would just book my next adventure to overcome it once more.

This past summer I realized that these adventures, while still transformative and impactful, only served to quiet my urges and ignore my core desires on a day-to-day basis. I didn’t look beyond the surface to understand why these urges appeared so regularly. Sure, I lived out my dreams in some of my adventures, but did that really matter if it didn’t translate to “real life?”

Although I felt respected by my colleagues and appreciated by my patients, I couldn’t help but feel trapped in a backwards healthcare vortex that was more of a “sick care” system than a forward-looking, health-promoting model. I realized that what I really wanted was to forge deeper cultural connections, build bridges against gaps in inequality, lead a life outside norma-

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tive social constructs and transform healthcare on a much more meaningful level.

At the end of July, 2016, I applied for a program called Remote Year, in which up to 75 people spend a year working and living as digital nomads in a different country each month. People come from all different professional and ethnic backgrounds, many of them entrepreneurs and freelancers, to work and live a life without the boundaries of a particular location—networking, innovating and forming collaborations all while immersing in and giving back to each of the communities they’re traveling in.

At the time of my application there were 300,000 candidates, so I never expected to get in. But then I did, and suddenly paralyzing fear engulfed me. I had two weeks to make a decision—this was exactly the life change and opportunity I was seeking, but it would mean giving up my position as a nurse practitioner at a world-renowned hospital, forfeiting a very comfortable salary and benefits in pursuit of my own business endeavors, and leaving my friends and family for a FULL YEAR to spend all of my time with complete strangers in unfamiliar territory. Committing would mean abandoning the comforts of my daily life for a year of “the unknown.” What if I wasn’t emotionally strong enough to do it? What if I took a nosedive into financial instability? What would my colleagues, friends and family—all of whom had a more traditional view of success—think?

Fear is inevitable, but we can choose how to react to it.

We can let it keep us stagnant or we can embrace it with open arms and use it to grow. When we allow fear to tell us we aren’t good enough or strong enough, we let life happen TO us. All of us are capable of more than we imagine, but these capabilities can’t flourish until we challenge our fears and shift our mindset.

A powerful way of shifting our focus is not to ask, “What if I fail?” but, instead, “What if I succeed?” By shifting, we instantly inch closer to our goals and redefine our view of failure. Life begins to happen FROM us and the concept of failure dissolves when we realize that anytime we reach beyond our perceived boundaries we become stronger and more capable, learning more about ourselves along the way. The outcome may not be exactly what we planned, but any growth that arises is a success in my book. Better still, the outcome may be far beyond what we had hoped for.

Ultimately, I decided to push beyond my fear and judgment and made my decision, confident that I could make it work even if I didn’t know exactly how yet. On February 1st, I moved to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, the first of my 12 destinations with my Remote Year community. At the time of writing, I am just over five weeks into my journey. I have cried multiple times, including in semi-public places like an Uber car ride and while meditating in a Buddhist temple. I’ve felt the strain of relationships and stress at home, and I’m constantly monitoring my bank account, while desperately trying to build a health coaching practice that doesn’t force me to plow through my life savings. It has been a test in adaptability and minimalist living and a challenge to balance self-care.

But I am also making meaningful professional connections, and I’ve met a diverse, amazing, accomplished and kind group of people from all over the world who will serve as my travel family (or as we affectionately call it, tramily) for the rest of the year. While the speed at which I hope to make deep connections with these people may be unrealistic (especially for my introverted self), I am confident that the connections will happen naturally, albeit slowly, and will last a lifetime.

Sure, I am on a path that is scary, overwhelming and downright uncomfortable, but ultimately it feels right for me right now because I am in the process of living as my authentic self and fulfilling my core desires everyday. I chose to reach beyond the fear, because whatever the outcome, that’s where true growth and transformation lies.

In the whimsical and inspirational tale The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, the main character, a shepherd, recognizes that if you want something badly enough, the universe works in your favor to help it transpire. When I finally stopped to reflect on my life, admitted to myself what I was really missing, acknowledged my fears and worked to reframe them, the universe listened.

Your thoughts create your reality and there is scientific evidence

to prove it.

My challenge to you is to pick up a journal or piece of paper and pen and take 10-20 minutes to freely write about your desires. This activity can apply to money and career, relationships, health and wellness, or all of the above. How do you want to feel everyday (creative, calm, challenged, energetic, joyful, etc.)?

What would your perfect day look like? What are some activities that really make you happy? What do you feel is missing from your life? What fears are holding you back from reaching higher? Be kind to yourself as you write, withhold judgment and just let the pen flow with a stream of consciousness.

Spend another five minutes reframing those fears. What would happen if your dreams became a reality? What one step can you take RIGHT NOW to reach beyond your fear? Continue with positive affirmations daily. Write an affirmation on a Post-it note and stick it on your computer or bathroom mirror where you will see it everyday. With persistent affirmations, your mind will eventually start to believe that your dreams can become a reality, and when you believe the universe listens. When you choose action in the face of fear, opportunities are endless and personal growth is inevitable. Choose to reach higher and find the other side of fear.

Fear is inevitable, but we can choose how to react to it.

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Kara Mosesso is a Massachusetts native who is passionate about running, hiking, photography, healthcare, travel and dark chocolate.

Kara’s personal and evolving journey with health began as a freshman in college when, after two months of hospitalization for an eating disorder and a near death experience, she desperately turned to journaling, a whole-foods, plant-based diet, healthy movement and practices in self-love to help build a healthier relationship with food and recalibrate her body image. Kara went on to receive a Master’s in Advanced Practice Nursing from Boston College in 2009 and began working as an oncology nurse practitioner at Tufts Medical Center in Boston. She enrolled in the Institute of Integrative Nutrition and received a certification as a Holistic Health Coach in 2011, and she moved on to a position at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York in 2013. Now a full time traveling health coach and member of The American College of Lifestyle Medicine, Kara specializes in supporting people during and after cancer care, helping people better manage and even reverse chronic disease (such as high blood pressure and cholesterol) and assisting people who are interested in transitioning to a plant-based diet. For more information, visit www.healthcoachconnect.com.

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Inspiration

Today

We Only Live

By Anna Trishch Fifty years of smoking had taken its toll, and it was exWhen I was introduced to Peter, my partner’s father, I connected with him right away. I loved his sense of humor—how tremely heartbreaking to see Peter’s body giving up on him, while he made everyone around him laugh—his optimistic outlook on his soul and spirit wanted to live. Every time I would ask him how life, and his kind heart. The fact that he is the father of the man I he was doing, he would respond, “I am doing good, Annie. Can’t fell in love with is reason enough to like him, especially because complain.” He preserved his playful spirit almost until his final moments. Five months after the horrible dihe did an amazing job raising his son. agnosis disturbed our happy life, Peter Almost instantaneously, we was gone—three weeks before his 79th established a deep bond. Whenever he In between the sad and birthday. would call his son, he wanted to speak to My beloved Peter will always “his Annie” as well. That’s what he called reflective moments, I stay in my memory and in my heart. me, Annie, which was very touching beIn between the sad and reflective mocause the way he said it was always filled began focusing how we ments, I began focusing how we live with love and care. I especially enjoyed our life each and every today. Are we spending Sundays with Peter and his live our life each and intentional? Do we stay in the present wife. Our time together was always filled moment? What choices do we make on with laughter and fun. every today. a daily basis? Where do we put most of Then Peter was diagnosed with our energy? And I realized that only tostage-three small cell lung cancer. Docday matters. tors said he had three to six months to So many people today live either too much in the past live, and chemotherapy wasn’t an option in his case. It was a hard time for all of us—but it taught us to focus on the present mo- or become overly concerned about the future, worrying about what’s to come. In Peter’s case, the past was already gone, and ment—on today—and to be there for him.

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nothing could be done to change it. Then, after the diagnosis, we couldn’t really think about the future because there was none.

All we had was the present.

We can only live today. We can only take action now.

The choices we make today eventually make us. So, why don’t we bring conscious awareness to what we do today? Why don’t we think about the long-term consequences of our choices today that will impact not only our lives but also the lives of the people we love? If only Peter had brought his conscious awareness to his smoking habit before the damage was irreversible…but we are all responsible for our own life—the good and the bad.

We are the epicenter of our own universe. It all begins and ends with us. And what we experience in the present is the result of our previous choices and decisions. The law of cause and effect is always in motion.

Start living intentionally. Take care of your health, be mindful of what you eat, and exercise. Take care of your body and your body will take care of you. Do it not just for yourself, but also for the people who love you. I know health is just one aspect of intentional living, but it’s the one that hits home for me right now, the catalyst that started me thinking. What will be your motivator?

Understand this: Today matters because it determines your future.

Don’t waste your life now on things you might regret in the future. Seventy-eight years might seem like a long time, but, according to Peter’s words, “It flies by really fast.”

Maximize living in today!

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Anna Trishch is a lover of life, an author, a life coach and a public speaker. Coming from a very modest background in a small Ukrainian town, she faced many challenges and financial hardships as a child and teenager. Although Anna’s parents were loving and caring, they came from a victimhood mentality that did not resonate with her soul. A believer that we are the creators of our own life, Anna went on to study at Ostroh Academy, one of the best Ukrainian universities. Today, she speaks four languages and lives her dream life in Miami. She helps people to discover the universal truth about human greatness and unlimited human potential; it is never about resources, but always about resourcefulness. Visit her online at www.annatrishch.com, email annatrishch1@gmail.com or call 786-768-4130.

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Inspiration

How I Overcame SelfDoubt and Shyness to Become Fiercely Passionate and Confident

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By Natalie Rivera

A few weeks ago, I was asked a question that really blew my mind! The question was “why do I get out of bed every day?” When I heard my own internal answer, I was blown away by what I heard myself thinking. My short answer was:

“Because I can’t help it. I have an unwavering knowing that life is meant to be more.”

If I didn’t understand human potential I wouldn’t feel such a compulsion to seek it. I’d be satisfied with less.

I tried to submit to life in a box and failed miserably. I couldn’t handle the corporate world. It took me 8 years to get a 4-year degree. The American Dream made me gag. I sucked at the traditional life but feared going rogue.

I resisted making the change, yet my inquisitive and tenacious nature made this impossible. I abandoned my sinking ship and cliff dove into authentic living. I went from fearing change, like everyone else, to thriving off it. Today I’m a super grower!

I decided to sit down and really clarify my “big why”. What is that that powerful inner calling that makes me so over-the-top passionate and ambitious? People who know me have often asked me why I’m so obsessed with I evolve so quickly that I don’t even what I do and no matter how many times I’ve written a recognize who I was a few months ago! “mission statement” or manifesto I’ve never quite captured my own personal fire.

I went from feeling shy and obsessively seeking apI had been noodling the idea of starting a Vlog, and proval, so much so that I feared calling to order pizza, to the inspiration from this question was just what I needed to being confident and bold. I went finally get started. I launched my from being chronically emotionfirst video, sharing my full answer ally susceptible to others’ emoto “why I get out of bed every tions and having the ills of the I was embarrassed by day.” My answer is at the end of world crack me open inside to this article, and you can also view being able to remain grounded my own passionate it at: https://youtu.be/HGGuMeven during extreme emotional rABNds). situations. I went from being mornature.

But the truth is, I didn’t tified in the spotlight to speaking publicly publish this impassioned publicly and teaching my deepest anthem because I was inspired… passions.

I did it because it scared the hell out of me. You see, my entire life I’ve held myself back.

I was embarrassed by my own passionate nature.

I felt like my ambition and unwillingness to settle alienated me. No one understood me. I felt like I lived in an alien world. So, I dumbed myself down; I made myself think small to avoid finding myself alone. I had big dreams and idealistic visions of life, but the world around me showed no evidence that it could be a reality. I did not believe that how I wanted to live was even possible, and so I did what most people do, I lowered my expectations to avoid being disappointed… by people… by myself… and by the world. I allowed my dreams to fade into oblivion.

I now find myself at this place of personal empowerment and faith in my competency and the infinite possibilities of creating a life that’s truly fulfilling and expansive. Yet, sometimes I still feel empty and that life is epicly pointless.

Sometimes I envy my own former ignorance.

Total transformation truly is possible if you open your mind to the possibility that maybe, just maybe, all the limitations you thought existed within yourself and within your life are WRONG.

If you struggle with self-confidence or question your worth… if you know you’re not living up to your potential but you’re afraid of what it would mean to live differently… if you don’t believe you can have the life you really want… I UNDERSTAND. I have struggled my whole life with the dichotomy of my soul’s call to live on the leading edge and my monkey brain’s instinct to protect me from uncertainty and failure by playing it safe.

But I’ve learned how to gag the monkey—whether that means tuning it out or stuffing a banana in its mouth.

And, I invite you to join in my other articles and videos as I continue to reveal how I took back control of this persistent primate and took control of my destiny.

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Why do I get out of bed every day?

Because I can’t help it. I have an aching, a longing deep within me to perpetually reach greatness. I have an unwavering knowing that life is meant to be more.

Because the status quo makes me gag, and I see mediocrity as squandered potential. I would rather live in a cardboard box than settle for anything less than living an extraordinary life. I was create to be free and to live deeply.

Because I am enraptured with drinking in the sweet nectar of life and I don’t want waste a drop. I have a fire in my belly; an insatiable hunger, for aliveness, clarity, expansion, and exploration.

Because my decisions determine my destiny. I am determined to do whatever it takes to develop the grit and discipline to deliberately create my life. I’m committed to mastering my mind and emotions and honoring that my power lies in the dominion of choice.

Because I will fulfill my purpose or die trying. It’s not that I don’t have fear—I just do it anyway. I am unapologetically passionate. I am tenacious, audacious, unstoppable. When I’m not motivated, I dream bigger. My life is mine—I own it, and I don’t apologize.

Because I want to empower others to stop playing small; to ignite their passions and live a life on fire. I feel a responsibility to be a living example of human potential. I want to prove that when you deprogram from the matrix of limited beliefs and take 100% responsibility for your personal narrative, you’ll find yourself living a life that is more magnificent than you could have ever possibly imagined.

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Are YOU ready to let go of your limitations and silence your inner primate?

Are you ready to finally be honest with yourself about what FEEDS you, what DRIVES you, and what you REALLY want to get out of this life?

Start by asking yourself this question: “Why do I get out of bed every day?”

If your initial answer is, “because I have to pay the bills” or “because I have obligations”, then I encourage you to DIG DEEPER. • What keeps you hanging onto hope in your darkest moments?

• What promise does life offer that makes it all worth it?

• What gives life meaning?

If you allowed yourself to release all limitations and go for what you TRULY desire in life, why would you get out of bed then?

My path of rabid entrepreneurship and fervent independence is not for everyone—but each person contains a fire within that, if unleashed, will ignite the light of their unique potential.

It’s time to light that match!

••••••••••••

Natalie Rivera is a firestarter, speaker and entrepreneur. She is passionate about empowering others to GET REAL and live authentically. After a decade of living a life that wasn’t hers and developing Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Natalie let go of everything and completely transformed. Through her journey to healing she rediscovered her true self and greater purpose—to inspire others to transform their lives. Natalie “retired” from the rat race at 24, put herself through school as a freelance designer, created a non-profit teen center, and later created Transformation Services, Inc., which offers motivational speaking, curriculum development, life coaching, event management, and publishing. She is also the Publisher of Transformation Magazine. Visit www.ignitelife.me.

Inspiration

The World Is Shifting. Are YOU?

By Linda Commito We are experiencing dramatic changes—in our climate, our governments and financial systems—but the biggest shift may be happening within ourselves.

Awareness doesn’t always come easily. Sometimes it takes a trip down the road of despair to discover who we are and what authentically defines us: What do we stand for? Who and what do we value? How are we showing up in the world? What kind of a future do we want to create?

The disheartening experience of our country and world being so divided that we can’t hear or understand each other can increase our fear and feelings of isolation and hopelessness.

We may feel stuck, uncertain as to what to place our faith in. We may have been relying on others to lead us, but really, WE’RE IT! This unexpected political environment has helped to move us from complacency to awareness, and, more importantly, to action. There is a positive shift in consciousness taking place, a call to embrace our personal journey, find our voice, stand up for what we believe in and to push us forward in creating a better world for ourselves and our children.

Our world is shifting and many things that we have known, or thought we knew, are already, or will be, falling away. How can we embrace this new era as an opportunity, to simplify and let go of those things that no longer serve us—the material obsessions, our sense of separation, our judgments, stress and fear?

Endings create opportunities for new beginnings. Now is a perfect time to evaluate and make some major changes in our lives. We can choose to embody a new way of thinking that will serve not only each of us individually, but the community of hu-

mans that share our country and our planet. It’s a chance to live from our hearts in a deepening connection to others.

We have a new bottom line. We need to take responsibility, not only for our own lives, but also for the lives of the people we love and for those around us who are unable to take care of themselves. The concept of “we” doing it together is becoming more important than doing it all for “me.”

Who we are and what we do matters. We are the ones who can bring about real and lasting change using love as our currency.

And we may find that a shift to a world that is based on compassion, connection and community will be one that is worth being a part of—a world that we wouldn’t want to trade for the one we used to have, even if we could.

••••••••••••••

Linda Commito, author, speaker, entrepreneur, consultant and teacher, is passionate about her vision to leave this world a kinder, more loving, and interconnected place. Her award-winning book of inspirational stories, Love is the New Currency, demonstrates how we can each make an extraordinary difference in the lives of others through simple acts of love and kindness. Linda believes that in order to inspire a kinder world the place to start is with children. She recently volunteered at a Title One elementary school, working with over 500 students, to create and facilitate “Kindness Starts With Me,” the results of which include a website (www.kindnessstartswithme. com) and a book for children. Also visit www.loveisthenewcurrency.com for more information and/or to sign up for an uplifting monthly newsletter.

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Tools & Tips

Living in A-Bun-Dance Instead of Scare-City

By Carol Hasbrouck

At first, it seems as though You are nowhere in the flow Of the abundance you dearly seek.

Somehow, you know, to take a peek At all the good that surrounds you.

Life, itself, simply astounds you.

Take a look around, at what you already own.

Where it all started and how it’s magically grown.

Had you any idea, when you first began That life would turn out to be so very grand?

But believe and feel good; your blessings you count Each moment you breathe, knowing the amount Of your money, your wealth, your riches, must grow As long as you believe, allow and let go.

Try that right now. Think of all that you seek As it’s already yours, arriving this week.

You must already feel as though you’ve arrived To that place inside of you, fully alive And packed with energy, vibrations from above Full of God’s goodness, well-being and love.

That’s where it begins and where it ends The Giver is Source, your constant friend.

There comes a time, when it all turns around True abundance is yours, you’ve finally found The tipping point, when now, it’s always there This feeling of true wealth is yours to share With all who know you and cross your path Give it away freely, for you already hath.

There’s no hard work you have to do Your Creator has done it, just for you

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So trust, believe, feel good and let go Source is always here, running the show.

It starts with your feelings, a knowing for you That God is your Source, there’s nothing to do.

Learning to live an abundant life is no different than learning how to ride a bicycle. Once you get the feeling and balance yourself on the bike, you could not ride again for years and then one day hop on and take off like you’d been riding your whole life. The same is true for living in abundance. It’s a feeling, a belief, a balance of energy that you already know and have inside of you. You’ve simply built up stories around it to block its energy and thus believe you live in Scare-City instead of A-Bun-Dance.

Your life reflects this belief just as it reflects every other belief you hold about yourself and the world.

Have you ever noticed that children of wealthy parents are usually quite successful—and this even includes those children whose parents don’t give them any material wealth, don’t introduce them to the right people to help their careers, and don’t financially support them in any way beyond their childhood years? Why do you suppose this is? What do they have that makes them financially successful that, perhaps, you don’t have?

What they have is a “knowing” that wealth and abundance is their birthright, and not just because they were born into a wealthy family. Wealth is all they’ve ever known in their home, in their family and, ultimately, in their subconscious beliefs. They carry these beliefs with them, and their outer world manifests what their inner world believes. “As above, so below.”

So often, I’ve noticed that many “Spiritual People” don’t have an abundance consciousness when it comes to money. They believe in abundance of love and an abundance of their gifts and positive energy but, for some reason, when it comes to money, they draw the line on the abundance factor. Why is that?

Most of the spiritual people I’ve met have so much to offer the world, yet they can’t really share their gifts abundantly because they either have to work a day job to support themselves or they are close to broke and can’t spend any money marketing themselves. Yet they have many examples of the cohesiveness of wealth and spirituality in leaders such as Wayne Dyer, Oprah, Deepak Chopra, Doreen Virtue, Louise Hay, and more. These spiritual superstars know they can do more good in the world with more money, not less. They have no problem charging what they are worth for seminars, workshops, and product sales because they know the information they share will produce results and help others grow spiritually and perhaps, financially.

Jesus told us in Luke 12:32: “Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.” This sounds to me like the whole enchilada. He isn’t pleased to give me one tiny little corner of the kingdom. He is pleased to give me ALL of the Kingdom, just as you and I would give to our children and their children and so on.

Paul taught us in Philippians 4: 6-8: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” In other words, don’t worry, give thanks in advance, and think about all of the goodness of life.

If you struggle with an abundance mentality, the quickest way out is through your feelings. You must feel abundant to be abundant. At first you may have to pretend. Fake it ‘til you make it applies here. You must feel happy for those around you who already experience abundance, knowing they aren’t taking anything away from your abundance in the process. In order to attract the abundance that is already yours, you must raise your vibration, your energy, and your beliefs to the level of A-Bun-Dance, which is a heck of a lot more fun than living in Scare-City. See you at the top!

Learning to live an abundant life is no different than learning how to ride a bicycle.

••••••••••••••

Carol Hasbrouck is a consummate student of life and love. She’s been a successful businesswoman in the financial arena, a motivational speaker, a published author, Chief Passion Officer of a small business focused on helping people Live Life on Purpose, and former CEO of Dames Gone Wild, a business dedicated to serving others.

She is currently offering a brand new, highly effective Facebook marketing system called K.I.S.S. – Keep It Simple & Sustainable.

Check it out at www.theclientqueen.com. Her most recent passion is Dance Walking. You may spot her around town, getting her groove on, with her happy go lucky dog, Jimmy.

This article is a chapter from the book Transform Your Life! written by 60 real-life heroes and experts and available at Amazon.com, BN.com, www.Transformation-Publishing.com and all ebook formats.

Money isn’t a bad thing. Money does not create happiness, but it does give you more choices in life.

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Tools & Tips

The Fruit of Your Thoughts

by Rev. Marla Sanderson

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A piece of Zen wisdom says, “When the apple’s ripe, it falls from the tree.”

We are unaware of the workings that go on in the invisible as the tree comes into blossom.

The flowers form, then drop—and a new fruit begins to grow.

Does the tree worry or fret about whether it can produce an apple? Does it yell and fuss if it doesn’t happen right away? Probably not. When the apple is ready, PLOP! To us, it just happens. It seems like magic, but it’s the natural way of life.

We humans are different, though. Life doesn’t just “happen” to us. We stand between the formed and the formless, and that makes us the master of our universe.

The formed is what you see around you— conditions, circumstances, relationships, etc. They take shape around you as you go about the business of thinking your thoughts and living your life.

When you want more and different, you might try harder or work harder. Or you might give up what you’re doing and try something else. Sometimes you kick and fuss, hoping to get what you want sooner.

You look to others to provide what you want, whether it’s love, approval, or a new toy. Sometimes you get it and sometimes you don’t.

I suspect you’ve noticed that no particular form is ever permanent. Material things come and go, and that works out great, because we all tend to want the new and better.

Thought creates. And that means YOUR thought creates.

Whether you know it or not, you are the cause of everything that “happens” in your life. You see it in your actions as you try harder to get what you want. But the real power, the creative power, starts in your mind.

Did you ever listen to the stuff that rattles around in there? Many of the rumblings and ruminations are just noise. But that noise can be destructive—especially if it’s powered with an emotional charge. Your mind can be put to a better use than making noise.

It’s been said that worry is a prayer for what you don’t want. So is grumbling, griping, bitching and moaning. Think about it.

Consciously directed thought can turn your world around. Positive thinking is a good start that’s guaranteed to uplift your spirit, but it’s just a start. Start thinking of yourself as a creative genius. Or an artist—or a writer, if that’s what you want. See what happens.

We all aspire to greater and better. With a little awareness, you can choose your thoughts and choose your future. Whether it’s a little tweak, a lifestyle change, or a complete 180 degrees, the possibility is in you.

Just like the apple tree, Intelligent Life is working behind the scenes to bring about the fruit of your thoughts. You may not see it or know what’s happening, but when everything’s right for it in your mind, PLOP!

A piece of Zen wisdom says, “When the apple’s ripe, it falls from the tree.”

Form is never cause. It is always effect. You are the creative gateway between what’s possible and what happens in your life.

The formless is substance in an unformed state, and is always and forever taking form. Most important, it is taking form through YOU. You are the cause.

••••••••••••

Rev. Marla Sanderson is a skilled spiritual counselor, speaker, teacher, and workshop leader. She has studied and practiced the Science of Happiness and Science of Mind for over 40 years. Her website, The New Thought Global Network, showcases ideas from many New Thought disciplines. She is ordained in the Centers for Spiritual Living. (Religious Science). Contact her at 727-475-8991, or revmarla@newthoughtglobal.org or visit www.newthoughtglobal.org.

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Tools & Tips •

food?

What Makes Spirulina a Super•

•

•

By Amber Beye Did you know that spirulina’s common name is pond scum? However, this blue-green algae is a freshwater plant and an exciting superfood that is commonly used in smoothies, energy bars and supplements. Spirulina is grown around the world from Mexico to Africa and even in Hawaii. Referred to as “Tecuitlatl” in Mexico, spirulina was a primary source of protein for the Aztecs for several hundred years! Remember, a superfood is defined as a nutrient-rich food considered to be especially beneficial for health and well-being. In other words, superfoods have health benefits.

This nutrient-rich substance is actually a cyanobacteria and it boasts its fair share of health promoting properties. It is rich in Chlorophyll and, like plants, gets its energy from the sun.

Spirulina’s benefits are so amazing that, taken on a daily basis, they can restore and revitalize your health! To date, there are nearly 1,200 peer-reviewed scientific articles evaluating spirulina’s health benefits.

Here are some of spirulina’s overall health benefits: • Eliminates candida. Spirulina acts as a microbial agent and has been shown to promote the growth of healthy bacterial flora in the intestines, which, in turn, inhibits Candida from thriving.

• Lowers blood pressure. Phycocyanin is a pigment found in the spirulina that scientists have discovered possesses antihypertensive effects (it lowers blood pressure). Phycocyanin is also a powerful antioxidant (four times more powerful than blueberries).

• Helps balance blood sugar. Studies show that spirulina not only lowers blood sugar, but

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it also lowers HbA1c, a longterm marker of blood sugar levels.

Reduces cholesterol. Spirulina also has been shown to prevent atherosclerosis (hardening and narrowing of arteries) and reduce elevated blood cholesterol levels.

Relieves allergies. For those with allergies, spirulina can lower inflammation that leads to nasal congestion and other issues.

Boosts energy. Combining spirulina and lime and then freezing them, you can enhance energy performance because they unlock sugar from our cells and, when frozen, the cold from the ice boosts metabolic energy while giving our bodies a wake-up call.

Speeds up weight loss.

Spirulina is high in protein, which takes more energy to metabolize, which helps maintain lean protein and contributes to fat burning.

Spirulina also is super nutrient rich, too! Check it out: • Protein: Spirulina is considered a complete source of high-quality protein and is often compared to eggs for the amount of protein per gram. The protein in Spirulina is highly usable and has a net protein utilization rate of between 50-61 percent.

• Vitamin B1: Also called Thiamine, this vitamin is necessary for the digestion of fats and proteins. It is often taken for increased energy, eye health, brain function and for improving nerve function.

• Iron: Spirulina is a favorite food for vegetarians and vegans because it is one of the best plant sources of iron. Even for those who consume meat, it has a

Try this tasty smoothie to get some spirulina in your day.

3 TBSP raw cashews 2 TBSP hemp seeds 2 large Medjool dates, pitted 2 TBSP cacao nibs 1 TBSP chia seeds 2 TSP maca powder 1/4 TSP Spirulina powder 1 TSP cinnamon powder 1 TSP ginger powder

1/4 TSP cardamom powder 2 cups coconut water 1 frozen banana 1 1/2 cups ice Sweetener to taste (optional) Blend together all the ingredients, except the frozen banana and ice, until smooth. Add the remaining ingredients and blend again until frosty. Taste and sweeten as desired.

highly absorbable form of iron that is gentle on the digestive system.

• Calcium: Spirulina is incredibly high in calcium, with over 26 times the calcium in milk.

Just 1 tablespoon of spirulina has 20 calories, 4 grams of protein, 11 percent of the recommended daily allowance (RDA) of Vitamin B1, 15 percent of Vitamin B2, 4 percent of Vitamin B3, 21 percent of copper, and 11 percent of iron. It also contains B-2 (riboflavin), B-3 (nicotinamide), B-6 (pyridoxine), B-9 (folic acid), vitamin C, vitamin D, vitamin A and vitamin E. And it is a source of potassium, chromium, copper, iron, magnesium, manganese, phosphorus, selenium, sodium and zinc.

••••••••••••••

Amber Beye hails from southwestern Colorado, where she lives a healthful life full of hiking, snowshoeing, Muy Thai Kickboxing, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, conducting high altitude hop research and home brewing. She received her training from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, where she studied a variety of dietary theories and practical lifestyle coaching methods. In addition to her health coaching training, Amber was a Worksite Wellness Coordinator for small businesses in Durango, CO. In this position she provided clients with individual biometrics screenings and health coaching, and helped the business find ways to integrate wellness into the culture of the worksite. Amber became passionate about helping others to live healthful lives after she overcame her battle with weight, anxiety and depression. For more information visit www.healthcoachconnect.com.

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Tools & Tips

How to Build More Loving Relationships

By Gary Loper Successful relationships start with each of us. When we master a relationship with ourselves, we then can expand our relationships with a partner, friends, family, customers and our community. Intertwined with our relationships are other aspects of life, like spirituality, health and finances.

To take it a step further, we even have relationships with objects. For example, take your favorite cup. How would you describe that cup? What are some of the characteristics you like about your favorite cup? Whether it is a champagne flute— etched, pretty and sleek—or a 32-ounce coffee mug with a slogan or picture, there are subliminal characteristics you are looking for in that relationship that reflect into other areas of your life. For example, I drink out of a 32-ounce cup, and one of the things I strive for in my relationship with my wife, Caryl, is to be in love every day. Metaphorically, with a big cup, I can take a sip continue to drink love all day long!

How does one love oneself?

It is hard for most people to practice self-love. Most of us are brought up in an environment where our parents and family probably did the best they could; but, in retrospect, more than likely there was a lot that they did not know. When I was growing up, my parents were emotionally unavailable. They did not know how to encourage or validate me. As a result, my self-confidence was down for a long period of time in my life. So, when I realized this one of the first things I started to do was to hang around people who believed in me, saw my gifts and kept reminding me of them. And through the lens of others I started to see my own gifts for myself.

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In 2008, one of my big revelations occurred with Twitter when people started responding after I began to share my gift of coaching on this platform. That was a personal validation. People were asking questions. With every step, I gained more self-confidence and realized my gifts and skills. So, if you are in a period of self-doubt or are unable to love yourself, just look at the little things you have done and look to others to help remind you of them.

A great exercise is to write down 100 accomplishments that you have achieved in your life, things that you are proud of.

Everyone has a deep well of brilliance. Know that you have already accomplished so much, and probably have not paid attention to those accomplishments. It is a revelation to see what you have already done. Start celebrating those moments!

Is there a correlation between loving others, self-love and confidence?

There is a nurturing part of our being where our confidence stems from. Our bottom line need is validation, and most of us get that validation through some expression of love. When we are in a place of love, we become confident. We feel more accepted, and from there we can become more loving. Often, people get hung up because when they feel unlovable they actually need love but start pulling away; it can be hard to love somebody when they are not feeling lovable.

Should we love by the Golden or Platinum Rule?

Everybody knows the Golden Rule: we should do onto others as we would do onto ourselves. The Platinum Rule states: we should do onto others as they would do onto themselves. For

example, if I loved you the way I want to be loved, it is not going to fulfill your needs.

My first coach conveyed a perfect story to me. He received a phone call from his wife one day. She said, “Meet me downtown.” And, he said, “Why?” She said, “Just meet me downtown.”

So, he met her downtown and they were on the corner, and he said, “What’s going on? Why are we here?”

She stated, “Just follow me.”

They go in the building, into an elevator, and get off at a marriage counsellor’s office. And, he looked at his wife, and stated, “Why are we here?”

She still said nothing. They get into the counsellor’s office. The counsellor asked “Why are you here?”

Now she finally opened up and expressed, “Well, he doesn’t love me!”

He voiced, “What do you mean I do not love you?!!! I hug you all of the time.”

She looked at her husband and conveyed, “But, you never say the words.” In his culture, his family hugged as an expression of love. Throughout their entire relationship she felt unloved because her family expressed love with words. She needed to hear the words, “I love you.”

And, he never said those words. So, even though he loves her and feels great about their relationship, she feels he doesn’t love her because he hasn’t expressed it verbally.

If you learn each other’s love languages—how your partner best responds to love, how he or she feels loved—you will create a healthy, loving relationship. Gary Chapman wrote an excellent book called The Five Love Languages. There are five primary needs in love: receiving gifts, words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch and quality time. You can take this assessment test (http://www.5lovelanguages.com) and share it with your partner.

Have your partner take the same test, so you can find out his or her primary Love Languages.

For me, it is words of affirmation and quality time that are vital because these needs were not fulfilled growing up. For

my wife, Caryl, it is acts of service. So, if I share with Caryl words of affirmation and quality time, it would not have the same meaning to her as it does to me. However, acts of service like doing the dishes or the laundry, or going food shopping will warm her heart and brighten her day with a big smile.

Another way to determine how your needs are met is to write a list of all the ways in which you feel that warm rush of love.

What happened? Did someone hold your hand? Did she play with your hair? Did he open the car door? The expression of love is an accumulation of all the little things. Very rarely is it a gigantic effort unless your primary need is receiving gifts—and that’s okay, too.

And your partner doesn’t have to do everything at once. For example, say: “I feel loved when you open the door or I feel loved when you spend time with me.” It is important to put the “or” in your request, so you do not overwhelm your partner with “and, and, and, and.” If you give your partner a list of little things he or she can do along the way, you will start building that foundation.

Remember, you need to find a way to keep courting, to keep falling in love with each other over and over again. There always will be ups and downs, and we shouldn’t get surprised when we hit those bumps because it’s not always “happily ever after.”

Most importantly, on a soul level, relationships bring out the things we need to heal. Challenges give us the ability to help each other grow and evolve—physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. It teaches us to become more available for each other, and to become the best we can be.

We should do onto others as they would do onto themselves.

•••••••••••••••

Gary Loper is a recognized Twitter expert, mindset/life/business coach, motivational speaker/trainer, former talk radio host, and respected entrepreneur “Helping People Master the Business of Life.”

He teaches strategies on how to become successful, to produce and maintain positive solutions, stay in a positive mindset, attract and manifest true wealth. Connect with Gary on Twitter @GaryLoper.

Are you stressed about Twitter? Receive your FREE Twitter Review: http://bit.ly/ReviewTwitter.

25

Tools & Tips

Putting Permaculture to Work in Your Garden and Your Life

By Koreen Brennan Many people who have heard of or read about permaculture have done so in the context of gardening or farming.

This is, in fact, how the subject came about, through a study of agriculture techniques—many of them ancient and indigenous— that regenerate the land rather than depleting it. Permaculture meant “permanent agriculture.” Later, it became evident that the principles that applied to creating these agricultural systems also applied to other aspects of life, and the concept of “permanent culture” was born.

Permaculture is an approach to problems at the design level. Rather than trying to fix a problem that was created in the first place through poor design, we go straight to the question of: How could we design this better? When you start from the design of something, you have a lot of freedom to question systems and a lot more ways to improve them.

There are many design tools in permaculture that help us to accomplish this. One of the most important is the concept of holistic or “whole systems” design. Many design errors occur because the designer was only looking at one small sliver of the situation—and this could be said about many things in life. The truth is, we are all designers. We each design our lives on a momentby-moment basis. We may do this consciously or unconsciously, but it is happening one way or the other. We make decisions constantly about our actions, our responses, our relationships, and what we are focused on. Permaculture tools can help us put those decisions into a larger, holistic context, allowing us to integrate our lives more fully with our values, as well as create more abundance and harmony.

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The Permaculture Garden A permaculture designer will approach someone’s garden from the same viewpoint as he or she might approach the design of a city, by searching for ways to create beneficial connections between elements that are not currently working together well or at all.

We live on a planet that has many interdependent elements. If “A” happens, it will cause an effect on “B” “C” and “D”.

And these, in turn, will create effects elsewhere. To the degree a permaculture designer understands these interdependencies, the overall design will be better.

Thus, a backyard garden is seen in the context of larger patterns that exist around it—what is the flow of nutrients in that area, such as organic waste streams like food waste or animal manure that could make great compost for the garden? What are the flows of toxins and pollution and how can the garden be protected from those? How does water flow through the landscape—where does it flow from and where does it go? “Invisible” structures are also examined. What community resources exist to support gardening, or urban farming, if I decide I want to sell some of my produce? What help can I get installing the garden, such as a neighborhood garden installation party? How can I create a garden that will serve multiple purposes, beyond just producing food? How can I improve the ecology and community resilience of the area with my gardening?

Permaculture design is more about the relationship of elements in the system, rather than the elements themselves.

Many designers see elements as individual items and focus on

each element itself. We focus on how the elements can work together, harmonize, align and assist each other to do work—thus both producing and conserving energy and abundance. For instance, when designing a community garden, here are some of the things we will include: • Share information about how to use the local “organic waste stream” as a no-cost way to build soil (finding food scraps from restaurants, coffee grounds, tree trimmings, etc.), • Create a rainwater catchment to conserve water by acquiring used food-grade barrels at no cost.

• Provide educational and cultural programs suitable for the community.

• Create ways to share seeds and plants, as well as gardening experience and training for urban farmers.

• Work together to create cooperative economic endeavors where appropriate (like a farmers’ cooperative).

• Create pathways to collaborate with other existing groups toward the end of ensuring continued access to public spaces for community gardens.

In a backyard garden, a permaculture designer would do a thorough site assessment, including a look at what energies are coming into the lot, and which ones are leaving or escaping. We would consider ways to utilize those energies to increase the yield of whatever we want to produce there.

We would look for ways to capture existing resources, such as weedy areas or trees that provide organic matter for soil, or rooftops to capture water, and think about where we want to send it.

We may look for existing edibles in the yard that people may not know are edible. We would think about what would naturally grow best in the climate of that particular yard (which may be different even than a neighbor’s yard because of shade or other factors), and what kind of care would fit the lifestyle of the people who would be gardening, as well as their budget.

Our plant selection would be based on all of these factors and more. We tend to focus on perennial plants (“edible landscaping”), which need less care than annuals and can look like landscaping rather than a food garden. We would integrate elements into the system that would help support these plants and reduce work and cost or external inputs (like fertilizer), as well as pests and diseases. We might then look for how we can create an abundance of yield, which would provide extra food that could be traded, given away or sold for extra pocket money.

And we would look at ways to link people and their garden up to a greater community to give them more support in keeping

their garden, such as attending seed swaps, or getting help from volunteers on installing some of the garden.

First Steps If you are ready to consider permaculture, you can start with a simple exercise yourself. Walk around your yard and notice where energy and things such as water are going and coming, and what is in your yard and how it might be used more efficiently or to a higher capacity. A common error is to allow the water to flow off the property and down the street or sidewalk when irrigating.

This is a very simple example of observing the site, noting energy leaving the property, and capturing it by ensuring the irrigation stays in the yard rather than flowing off of it.

One holistic aspect of permaculture design is the importance of integrating the design process itself. Thus, we focus on self-renewal to ensure our personal design capacity is at its best. We also focus on building the capacity for collaboration by working on group dynamics and ensuring team design is functioning well; and lastly, a feedback loop is an essential part of every design. How is everything actually working? Is it achieving its intended effect of a regenerated, healthier ecosystem with more abundance and quality of life for people?

The tools of permaculture design have exciting potential and, once involved, many people feel that permaculture changes their lives. Permaculture helps us to see the world in new ways and provides solutions to seemingly intractable problems, thus inspiring creativity and hope. But design is only one aspect of it—implementation and maintenance of a good design has its own set of challenges and opportunities. Are you ready to dig in?

Permaculture tools can help us put those decisions into a larger, holistic context, allowing us to integrate our lives more fully with our values, as well as create more abundance and harmony.

Author’s note: If you want to learn more about permaculture gardening, contact us about the Permaculture Design Course and permaculture books and materials.

The tools you will discover can give you new ways of seeing everything, and help to put you in the driver’s seat of designing your own life.

••••••••••••••

Koreen Brennan is an ecological designer and educator, entrepreneur, farmer, organizer, public speaker, project manager and community volunteer. She has spoken about and taught permaculture throughout the United States and in several other countries. Koreen manages the design and education firm Grow Permaculture; is a partner in Permaculture Design International; a co-organizer with North American Permaculture Convergence; on the Board of Directors of Permaculture Institute of North America; supports Oglala-Lakota Cultural and Economic Revitalization Initiative; and runs a 10-acre permaculture demonstration farm in West Central Florida. She can be reached at koreen@growpermaculture.com or 727-495-6145.

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Tools & Tips

3 Powerful Tools for Overcoming Expectations

by Rebecca L. Edwards

Releasing our expectations sets us free from the bondage of self-imposed limitations.

I have heard it said a million times, “Life is what you make of it.” Really? I have always found that statement to be so aggravating and down right condescending until, one day, I sat down and pondered what those words actually meant to me.

After several personal “moments” complete with tears, emotional outbursts and triumphant epiphanies, I came up with my own way of interpreting this saying—without judging myself after I decided to surrender to its lessons and step into the current of new understanding. Now, surrender didn’t mean I was going to give up and throw in the towel or to just accept my lot in life and become a statistic or a doormat for emotional vampires or habitual takers; matter of fact, it was just the opposite. I found a source of spiritual gold that became my never-ending treasure trove of internal happiness, steadfast clarity and unwavering strength to go after what I truly wanted from life.

My insights translated into 3 Powerful Tools that I now use every day to release all expectations and stay emotionally focused, spiritually centered and soulfully connected. I discovered there is only one rule that must be followed for the magic to happen: I must stay open-minded in the continual free-fall of unlimited potential.

1) Let Go and Be Flexible as to how you will achieve your desires. The process may be completely different from

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your original ideas or your predetermined expectations about how something would transpire.

2) Be Fully Present in the NOW so that you can take part in the unfolding of the miracle when it happens right before your eyes. Keep your mind wide open so that new opportunities can present themselves in a more serendipitous way.

3) Believe that the Universe is Orchestrating on Your Behalf so that it can meet your current needs, desires and goals with a force so powerful that it can alter your life in ways that your mind may not have been able to conceive on its own.

I have always believed that I am part of a whole, but chose to incarnate here on earth as an individual soul with a divine purpose. In order to succeed on my mission of self-discovery, I must do my part. I must show up every day ready to do the next right thing, which, in turn, allows me to calmly and intelligently seize all opportunities that arise from utilizing the 3 Powerful Tools, which have guided me in building the life of my dreams.

“Blessed are the flexible for they do not get bent out of shape.”—my dearly departed friend Llyod

••••••••••

Rebecca L. Edwards is an author and speaker who encourages and inspires others through spiritual transformation. Life is short. Time is an illusion. Be present. Be happy. Live sober. Contact her at Rledwards411@gmail.com or visit RebeccaLEdwards.com.

Coaching

E-commerce Business Ethics: What You Need to Know

By Lisa Cedrone If you spend a lot of time purchasing online, chances are high that at some point in time you will have your privacy violated, or you will encounter a “bait and switch” scam, or what you were promised was not what arrived in the box.

Case in point: My partner Harry is a savvy online shopper, but he still gets burned now and again. Most recently, it was an antique Tibetan Buddhist vajra and bell set he purchased on eBay. The seller was in China and seemed legit; Tibet is a part of China. However, when the box arrived it was obviously not authentic. When Harry contacted the seller, a refund was issued immediately, and the company said to keep the set free of charge, probably to try to avoid negative customer feedback on eBay. Scenarios like this make Internet customers wary and, if you are planning to become a successful e-commerce purveyor of goods and/or services, you need to work hard to establish credibility and build trust online—just as you would with a traditional business. While ensuring security for your online payment system should be at the top of your start-up’s “to-do” list in this regard (and we will address it as a separate topic next month), there are many other areas and issues to consider when creating your company’s code of e-business ethics.

Work from the Top Down At the broadest level, it’s helpful to review and make a commitment to abide by the “The 10 Commandments of Computer Ethics” as you start to develop your specific e-business policies and procedures. Developed by The Computer Ethics Institute, which was founded as a nonprofit in 1992, this list is designed to provide “advice to individuals, communities, organizations and government concerning their ethical and social responsibilities.”

The Ten Commandments of Computer Ethics are: 1) Thou shalt not use a computer to harm other people.

2) Thou shalt not interfere with other people’s computer work.

3) Thou shalt not snoop around in other people’s computer files.

4) Thou shalt not use a computer to steal.

5) Thou shalt not use a computer to bear false witness.

6) Thou shalt not copy or use proprietary software for which you have not paid.

7) Thou shalt not use other people’s computer resources without authorization or proper compensation.

8) Thou shalt not appropriate other people’s intellectual output.

9) Thou shalt think about the social consequences of the program you are writing or the system you are designing.

10) Thou shalt always use a computer in ways that ensure consideration and respect for your fellow humans.

Next, look at your e-commerce business model specifically and consider documenting policies around the following areas, which can cause ethical dilemmas and subsequent legal problems for your business if you throw caution to the wind: Accurate Product Data According to an article on ethical issues in e-commerce

by Ryan Lunka on nChannel.com, “E-commerce is different from traditional retail. Your customers cannot touch the product they will buy. They’ll look at pictures and videos that show the product in ideal lighting, [with] Photoshop processing…Therefore it’s important that you make the effort to list your products accurately, completely and honestly.” 1 Lunka also advises to research: • Privacy laws; • Tax regulations (you most likely will be selling across state and/or national borders); • Online marketing regulations such as the CAN-SPAM

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act (which sets the rules for commercial email) and laws about advertising disclosure (“The Federal Trade Commission updated its rules about what is paid advertising (and what is not) in 2009 and again in 2013, in part because of the rise of social media and social media marketing.”2) • International regulations, like those applicable in the European Union; and • Product-specific regulations (“for example, you can’t sell alcohol to customers under 21.”)

In an article on Chron.com, Amber Keefer adds that ethical web content is a must for success in e-commerce. “Pay special attention to the marketing materials you include on your website,” she notes. “Avoid publishing misleading statements that could give consumers the wrong idea about the products you offer. For example, don’t exaggerate claims about the quality of a product. If you fail to deliver what you promise, the Internet can work against you as dissatisfied customers may spread the word to others via social networking sites. Keep the content on your site current so you continue to offer consumers reliable information.”3 Data Mining “One of the main ethical problems in the e-commerce arena centers on the controversy over data mining—the selling of consumer information by e-commerce merchants to online advertisers,” points out Zachary Tobias on an online Computer World article.4 “After we give our information away, we have no idea what companies do with it,” notes Martha C. White in a Time Magazine article on “big data.” “Unlike credit reporting agencies, which are required to let you see the composite picture of you they’ve created with the data they mine and organize, data companies keep their vast virtual warehouses under lock and key…

Most of the time, this information is used to sell you stuff. This has the potential to be sneaky—if it knows enough about you, a company can figure out what type of ad is most likely to sway you—but a lot of it isn’t inherently bad and might be helpful…

“But that’s not what concerns lawmakers and privacy experts,” she adds. “They worry that people’s virtual selves could get them written off as undesirable, whether the depiction is correct or not. There’s also the question of accuracy in general. Some consumer groups estimate that up to 25 percent of credit reports have errors, and those errors can lead to difficulty getting a loan or other type of credit. Without any way to look at our consumer profiles, people have no idea what marketers and other interested parties see and how they’re judging us.”

If you decide to share or sell your customers’ information, make sure the policy is loud and clear and that there is an easy way for people to opt out of receiving additional marketing from your company or other businesses that will have access to the data. And think twice before you use deceptively small checkboxes that are already checked “yes,” giving your business permission to use customers’ data.

can bring your business a lot of value. But, they also introduce some risk, says Ryan Lunka in his nChannel.com article on e-commerce ethics. “When you buy from someone who isn’t the manufacturer, how do you know where the product is coming from?”

As a business owner, it’s up to you to ensure that any products sold through your website are authentic. Regardless of where the products are made or shipped from, you are responsible for what the customers receive—and remember it is illegal to sell counterfeit merchandise. Here are some tips from Lunka on protecting your business reputation and customers from counterfeit goods: • Check what your website is selling. You may not physically handle some or all of the goods you sell, but at least buy one of each item and check it out before you start fulfilling orders. There are many articles and sites online that can give you tips on how to spot a fake, such as WikiHow. • Verify goods with manufacturers. A branded manufacturer can help you identify if a product is fake. Usually, serial numbers are available and there are specific aesthetic identifiers.

• Work with trusted suppliers. Look for validation from organizations like the Better Business Bureau, and verify credibility with other buyers. Prove to yourself a supplier can be trusted.

• Be extra careful with international suppliers. While international suppliers can be more competitive on price and reach broader markets, regulations might be lax in countries outside the United States, so be extra careful with international deals.

Customer Trust Publishing business principles, such as core values and a code of ethics, on your website can help show potential customers that your company is legitimate and responsible. Core values help a small business set priorities and plan for the future, says Keefer in her article on Chron.com. “These are the rules that govern how your company is run. Values give a company direction while a company code of ethics defines the behavior you expect your business to exemplify. Identifying a set of business values tells your customers that you are committed to providing quality service and that you take responsibility for the business decisions you make.”

Joining your local Chamber of Commerce or the Better Business Bureau also can give your credibility a boost. These organizations have logos and seals that can be used on your website to recognize business members.

Customer Service Leading online retailers like Amazon.com have set the customer service bar high, so you will need to have exceptional standards and above-average ethical practices around customer service and return policies if you are to survive long-term in the e-business arena. According to an article by Tom Streissguth on ethical problems in e-business, questions to answer in this area Counterfeit Goods include:6 You might be selling counterfeit goods and not even • Will your company take responsibility when something is know it. “Utilizing third-party suppliers, drop shipping and some damaged in shipping? of the dynamic order fulfillment tactics that are available today • How will you handle returns?

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• What will be your response time on customer complaints?

• Will you offer live customer service chat or phone support?

In this regard, here are seven ways that you can raise the bar on customer service from an article in Entrepreneur by Jonathan Long:7 1) Have a resource to address common questions immediately. A FAQ (frequently asked questions) page on your website will eliminate a lot of common questions before they bombard your support channels.

2) Respond instantly. Having an auto-response stating someone will be in touch within 24-48 hours is completely unacceptable in today’s e-commerce world.

3) React even faster on social media. You don’t need to solve the problem immediately, but you must provide some type of feedback, such as customer service email or another way to receive fast help.

4) Take customers’ privacy seriously. Never ask customers for credit card information or other sensitive data over the phone or via email, etc.

5) Minimize the technical jargon. Don’t use terminology that is “over the head” of your customers. Make answers to questions clear and direct.

6) Use third-party customer-service software. Several platforms are available, such as Zendesk, that provide organizational and time-management tools to help deliver excellent customer service.

7) Be human. An upset customer can quickly change mindsets if you show compassion.

sharing, etc. You can download a pdf copy of the DMCA from https://www.copyright.gov/legislation/dmca.pdf.

Intellectual Property and Copyright With a few clicks of the mouse, it’s possible to cut and paste someone’s original copy or reuse photos and artwork— without permission or a license. “The victim of this theft only has recourse if he’s registered a copyright and then wants to spend the time and trouble to write demand letters and threaten lawsuits,” says Streissguth on Chron.com, but that doesn’t mean your business should do it.

“By now you would expect that virtually everyone knows that you cannot cut and paste the work of others [text or graphics] onto your website without their permission, but I am not sure that is the case,” says Gene Quinn in an article on copyright infringement published at IPWatchdog.com.8 “…A copyright owners’ rights have been infringed if another reproduces the work without their permission with or without citation. In the minds of some copyright infringement is synonymous with plagiarism.

Plagiarism, however, is the passing off of the work of another as your own without citation. So those who cite and link back are not absolved from copyright infringement. They are misappropriating an original work and free-riding,” and there is nothing creative, laudatory or ethical about free-riding.

The Digital Millennium Copyright Act, more commonly referred to as the DMCA, was signed into law on October 28, 1998, and its primary purpose is to update the United States copyright laws with an eye toward making them more relevant and flexible given the ever-changing digital information climate. Make sure that you follow the rules and understand what constitutes copyright infringement before you set up shop and start posting and

4. “Putting the Ethics in E-Business,” By Zachary Tobias, November 6, 2000, Computerworld, online article at http://www.computerworld.com/article/2588768/e-commerce/putting-the-ethics-in--ebusiness.html

••••••••••••••

Lisa Cedrone is the editor of Transformation Magazine and a freelance editor, writer, and graphic designer working primarily in the spiritual and alternative healing communities. Prior to establishing her Sarasota, FL-based freelance business in 2008, Lisa spent 20 years as an editor/editor-in-chief for two of the Top 10 businessto-business publishers in the United States, serving the apparel manufacturing and residential construction/building markets. Her company, DragonFly Nation, offers a wide range of creative services, with an emphasis on cost-effective, turnkey editorial and design projects for both print and web. Contact her at lisa@suncoasttransformation.com or visit DragonFlyNation.com.

References 1. “Ethical Issues in eCommerce: Are you violating any of them?” by Ryan Lunka, April 21, 2015, nChannel.com, online article at https:// www.nchannel.com/blog/ethical-issues-in-ecommerce/ 2. “When a social media campaign violates the law,” Daphne Howland, April 15, 2015, RetailDive.com, online article at http://www. retaildive.com/news/when-a-social-media-campaign-violatesthe-law/385649/ 3. “How to Put Ethics in E-Business,” by Amber Keefer, Chron.com, online article at http://smallbusiness.chron.com/put-ethics-ebusiness-41216.html

5. “Big Data Knows What You’re Doing Right Now,” by Martha C. White, July 31, 2012, Time Magazine, online article at http://business.time.com/2012/07/31/big-data-knows-what-youre-doingright-now/ 6. “The Ethical Problems In E-Business,” by Tom Streissguth, Chron.com, online article at http://smallbusiness.chron.com/ethical-problems-ebusiness-62037.html 7. “7 Tips to Knock Your Online Customer Support Out of the Park,”

by Jonathan Long, January 12, 2015, Entrepreneur, online article at https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/241600

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Coaching

Discovering the Power of Your Voice

By Kristie Kennedy Imagine standing on a platform surrounded by millions of people in dire need of hope, inspiration and direction that would completely transform their lives. Envision what it would feel like being the catalyst of their moment of change. Now experience the wonder of embracing the call to lead the way.

A couple of years ago, I remember seeing one of my mentor’s words that continues to challenge me to this day to use my voice for good. He asked the question, “How long will they have to wait?” In essence, there are distinct individuals assigned to my life’s work who are waiting for me to stand up and speak out.

I have great admiration for leading ladies because I know behind the scenes major sacrifices are being made as a result of answering the call to greatness. One of my favorite former First Ladies of the United States is Eleanor D. Roosevelt. I will never forget reading her words, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Those words still pierce my heart because I used to be the one hiding my brilliance. I was the one who sat in back of

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the class pretending to be invisible. I was the one secretly desiring someone to choose me to speak. I was the one who was least likely to succeed. I was the one who was afraid to hear my own voice on the answering machine. I was the one who would look through the peep hole in my own apartment to ensure no one was outside listening to me sing. I was the one who would sign up for talent contests and not show up on stage. I was the one who was considered to be the odd ball. I was the one who found great comfort in being a wallflower rather than a centerpiece.

Recently, I went inside my hall closet and pulled out my storage box that has all of my completed journals, and I picked up a pink flowered one sitting at the top of them all. It was dated July 22, 2005. I stumbled across notes about Eleanor D. Roosevelt.

She consistently wrote a syndicated newspaper column entitled “My Day” six days a week from 1935 to 1962. The only time she took a break was for four days while grieving the death of her husband. (www.pbs.org) Eleanor was a woman who understood

the value of her words and her responsibility to feed a hungry audience ready to consume her thoughts. According to History. com Eleanor penned 27 books and produced over 8,000 columns.

How did I discover the power of my own voice?

1. Journaling As I look back in retrospect, journaling has been a major component of my self-expression. Naturally, I am an introvert, meaning I find great joy in exploring the inner world of hidden ideas. In sixth grade my English teacher gave us a journal, and journaling has been a therapeutic tool for my own mental wellness. Currently, I have over 20 active journals each serving a unique purpose. It’s my own creative way of organizing.

2. Self-Reflection Questioning I am always checking in with myself to see where I am emotionally, spiritually and mentally. One of the first questions I ask is, “Who am I?” Our identify is often shaped by many external influences, and I wanted to be sure when I stepped outside of my house I knew who I was and where I was going.

3. Affirmations of Greatness There is not one day that goes by where I am not either reading, writing or affirming myself verbally. Affirmations are the cornerstone of my convictions.

4. Positive Self-Talk I practice hearing the sound of my own voice daily; just ask my husband. I speak back to any negative thoughts that arise and reframe childhood illusions that no longer serve me. The other day, I was walking in the grocery store parking lot having a full blown conversation with my mind. Yes, I am perfectly sane.

5. Vision Boards It is no secret that I am extreme in everything I place my hands to. I believe if we don’t intensify the pace, we will inadvertently disqualify ourselves from the race. I am in it to win it!

Hence, I have nine vision boards and two vision books. As a visionary leader, I understand the importance of seeing what I desire to manifest frequently. My husband is a byproduct of vision casting

years before I met him, I clearly described the most essential aspects of what I desired in a life partner. My first home manifested after I crafted a vision surrounding the area, the pricing, the interest rate and the interior design specifications.

6. Conquering Fear When fear whispers, courage must ROAR! Listen, I have been speaking for over 20 years now, and fear still knocks on my door. I have to tell it over and over, I am not buying what it is trying to sell me. I began to accept requests to speak publicly and, above that, volunteer to speak. Today, I utilize many platforms for sharing my voice and it is only because I keep saying yes to success!

The world has need of the valuable treasures buried inside your heart. I challenge you to rise to the occasion and create your own powerful legacy.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Eleanor D. Roosevelt

Voice Activation Exercise There are no right or wrong answers. This is a starting place for your new journey of confidently communicating your convictions.

Complete this sentence: I AM THE VOICE that…

••••••••••••••

Kristie Kennedy is a Licensed Image Enhancement Consultant and Certified Women’s Worth and Wellness Expert who provides confidence and clarity coaching to female leaders, executives and business owners who are exhausted from being the world’s best kept secret, ready to claim center stage as the leading lady of their own life, powerfully shift in mind and magnificently shine. She is skilled in four areas of personal development: mindset mastery, massive momentum, magnetic messaging and potential maximization. Kristie has a passion for helping leaders who have reached a plateau with the ability to turn their can’ts into cans and their dreams into plans.

Her life is a testament that you can shift from mediocrity to magnificence one bold step at a time. Visit www.kristiekennedy.com.

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Coaching

Discovering Your Life Purpose After 50

By Claribel Rojas

Is it ever too late to discover your life purpose?

My answer to this question is, “No way!” Take it from me—a jack-of-all-trades who never gave a thought to finding my passion until just a few years ago. You’re probably wondering how did that happen? How do you go through life not knowing what you’re meant to do for a career? Unfortunately, many people have done precisely that for years.

I grew up in a loving family of five in the hustle and bustle of New York City. My parents were hard-working people who instilled diligence in their children; they taught us that we must work hard, go to school and find a “good job” that paid us well. Although my parents had the best intentions for their children, they didn’t

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exactly know how to guide us in finding a career. As a student, I always had good grades and was always motivated to learn and improve myself, but I was somewhat shy and, having little academic guidance, I didn’t try to find help to discover my true passion. Fast forward to high school graduation, I did not immediately go into college but eventually decided to attend college while working a job. Shortly thereafter, my father passed away and, since I was his pampered baby daughter, I felt very sad and somewhat lost. Perhaps as a result, shortly after that, I decided to get married and form a family. I eventually graduated with an Associate’s Degree in Business Administration and continued to work in what I believed was a “good job” in corporate america.

As the years passed, our family got bigger; we had twins,

a boy and a girl, and a few years later, another little girl. We were a happy family, devoted to our children, attended church regularly, and worked hard in our jobs. I had a good income, which I believed was the main goal I should strive for; however, I always felt that something was missing in my career. By the time my children were teenagers, I had worked in banking, finance, marketing, sales, information technology, real estate and the medical field. I had worn so many hats I was confused as to how to move forward. I had worked diligently and to the best of my abilities, probably because I had been groomed to do well at whatever it is I did, regardless of whether I liked it or not. However, interestingly enough, the average person works over 100,000 hours in their lifetime (AARP, 2016). Shouldn’t this motivate us to think about the great importance of loving what we do for work?

Over the course of time, I did a lot of home schooling with my children, and as a result, I discovered I was a natural teacher. For most of my life, I have been looking for ways to help others, including teaching some of my friends how to cook, bake, crotchet, gain computer skills, or whatever it is they wanted to learn from me. I also discovered that I really enjoyed listening to my friends’ and coworkers’ problems, striving to give them positive advice and to empowering them in some way.

Ever since I can remember, people have warmed up to me and quickly and felt comfortable to share their personal problems or challenges with me. All these were “aha” moments; the more I thought or spoke about it, the more I understood that I needed to go back to college and pursue the career that would bring me fulfillment. Although, due to my busy life, it took some years for me to feel the time was right. Without a doubt, after the dissolution of my marriage and with three teenaged children who looked up to me, I finally knew it was time.

in finding solutions. So I decided to study psychology and become a personal life coach. It took much work and sacrifice, but I earned my degree in psychology and completed life coaching programs to become empowered to fulfill my passion. Now I am grateful for any circumstances that brought me to this point of self-awareness, self-fulfillment and peace.

I am now free to move forward in living a life that is in alignment with what I feel I was born to do. Not surprisingly, during my years of study and as I work in the field of life coaching, I see how every job I’ve worked has helped me in my business. I can happily say that I have no regrets to have taken the scenic route!

If my story resonates with you and you’re at that place of questioning your life purpose or would like to discover a new career, you might want to consider working with a life coach.

The goal of a life coach is to help you discover your passion and assist you in achieving the goals that will bring you the fulfillment you desire. Through coaching, you can grow as an individual, achieve a higher level of happiness and find your own journey to create meaning in your life.

Is it ever too late to start living a life with purpose? Not in my opinion! In fact, making a change to live an authentic life has filled me with a lightness of spirit and renewed purpose that no one can take away. So, if you find yourself soul searching about your life purpose, open the doors; you might just find a new, brighter, more authentic future for yourself!

During the years that I wrestled with career dissatisfaction, I realized adults in various stages of life were embracing a career change.

References: The Complete Guide to Career Change After 50. http://www.learnhowtobecome.org/the-complete-guide-to-career-changesafter-50/ New Careers for Older Workers. https://www.aier.org/CCwebform-OWS Porter, J. (2016, Aug) How to Change Careers When You Don’t Know What to do Next, Your Feelings of Restlessness are Actually a Blessing in Disguise. http://www.aarp.org/work/working-afterretirement/info-2016/career-change-when-you-dont-knowwhat-to-do-next-lr.html?intcmp=AE-WOR-CACG-FOLWPASSSPOT3

I am now free to move forward in living a life that is in alignment with what I feel I was born to do.

In fact, research by The Conference Board in 2014 showed that half of all Americans are unhappy with their current job. In addition, AIER (2015) found that 82 percent of people over 45 made successful career changes. After much soul-searching, suggestions from friends, and career research, I made the commitment to figure out exactly what I wanted to do. I knew I had a passion for the psychology behind our actions, for guiding others to help themselves, and aiding them

••••••••••••••

Claribel Rojas specializes in working with individuals who want be empowered, reduce stress, discover their life purpose or dream career. She also works with individuals who want to improve their relationships or who need healing after divorce. Contact Claribel at rojasclari@yahoo.com.

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Enlightenment

Coming Home

By Jo Mooy The words “spiritual teacher” in the brochure caught my attention. He was the guest speaker at a metaphysical center I attended in the late 1970s. When he walked into the conference room, I saw a gentleman with a round face and wavy, shoulder-length yellow hair. He’d come to talk about his book, Coming Home—The Experience of Enlightenment in Spiritual Traditions.

The title was scholarly and shed light on his Ph.D. background in comparative religion. His name was Lex Hixon.

At the end of his presentation, the audience rushed to meet him carrying their copies of the book Coming Home for him to sign. I watched from my seat as one after another shook hands with him, or engaged in brief conversation. As the swell of people diminished I got up to leave. But something stopped me. Turning around I went back towards him wondering, “Why are you doing this and what do you plan to say to him?” In fact, I had nothing to say, but when

“You are a friend of my soul”

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I stood in front of him the words, “You are a friend of my soul” came tumbling out of my mouth. As I heard the strange words I thought to myself, “What are you saying to this stranger?”

He took my hand in his and looked into my eyes. The words I’d just said felt like they were taking form. He said, “I know those words. You too are a friend of my soul.” Then he asked, “Would you come to my home in New York City tomorrow?” Without knowing this stranger, or what I was agreeing to, I said, “Yes.” He gave me his address in Riverdale and told me to come at 9 a.m.

Continuing this strange meeting, and completely out of character, I told no one where I was going that Saturday morning. On the drive into New York City, I kept asking myself, “Are you crazy—no one knows where you’re going—you could be meeting an axe murderer.” Yet I kept going, arriving at his high-rise apartment overlooking the Hudson exactly at nine. He greeted me at the door in a Buddhist robe, asked me to remove my shoes, and then ushered me into a very sparsely decorated Zen home. He asked me if I knew why I was there. I said no, but was compelled to come. He asked me if I knew how to meditate. I said yes.

Next, he asked if I knew who Kali was. I didn’t at the time. So he took me into another room where a large bronze Kali was sitting on a small table with incense, a candle and an altar cloth. There were no furnishings in that room other than a cushion in front of Kali. He asked me if I had a meditation shawl. I said no. He left the room, returning with a long white shawl with maroon borders. He placed it over my shoulders, lit the candle and incense, and told me to sit with Kali and come out when I felt ready. Then he left.

I sat with Kali for almost two hours. I studied her ferocious face and many arms. I meditated. I thought about the surreal day I was spending.

I meditated some more. Eventually the candle and incense burned down and my legs had grown numb so I got up and came out of the “Kali room.” He was nowhere around. So I went into an adjoining room I concluded was his library, as it was filled with books on ev-

ery religious topic. He came in to find me holding a large book, The Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna. He said, “Ah, you’ve found Sri Ramakrishna. You need that book and the Works of Vivekananda.”

He added, “You should also study The Way of Zen.” We talked into mid-afternoon. Then by some unspoken agreement it was time for me to go. I removed the shawl still around my shoulders, folded it, and handed it back to him. He said, “No, that shawl is now yours. I received it from a sage in India, and now I give it to you. The Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna is also yours to keep.” He walked me to the door, bowed to me, and we said goodbye.

Though my time with him was only eight hours long, he turned out to be one of the greatest catalysts on my journey on the esoteric path. Though when we met I had no idea who he was or how he would later influence me. You see, Lex Hixon was a mystic who immersed himself in the major religions of the world, which he called “parallel sacred worlds.” He was a disciple of Swami Nikhilananda of the Ramakrishna-Vivekananda Center in New York City, a well-known and respected Sufi master. As host of New York City’s WBAI In The Spirit, he regularly interviewed the leading spiritual and religious teachers of the 20th century. This gentle, unassuming man was also an artist, musician, scholar and spiritual author.

His last words to me on that Saturday were, “Wherever you are, be at home!” Little did I know that I’d never see him again, for Lex died at age 53. I still have the shawl he gave me, along with The Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna and The Works of Vivekananda. I also read The Way of Zen many times, and each time I fondly remembered that Saturday with Lex Hixon. Though I never saw him again, I knew our connection was real when, 35 years later, on a spiritual retreat, my teacher gave me the entire Heart Sutra to memorize. He handed me three different translations and told me to choose one. When I got to page two of the translation I selected tears welled up. It was translated by none other than Lex Hixon.

Lex was right when he told me,

“Wherever you are, be at home!”

In the briefest moment in time, he was the guide who directed me on the path of Coming Home!

••••••••••••••

Jo Mooy has studied with many spiritual traditions over the past 40 years. The wide diversity of this training allows her to develop spiritual seminars and retreats that explore inspirational concepts, give purpose and guidance to students, and present esoteric teachings in an understandable manner. Along with Patricia Cockerill, she has guided the Women’s Meditation Circle since January 2006 where it has been honored for five years in a row as the “Favorite Meditation” group in Sarasota, FL, by Natural Awakenings Magazine.

Teaching and using Sound as a retreat healing practice, Jo was certified as a Sound Healer through Jonathan Goldman’s Sound Healing Association. She writes and publishes a monthly internationally distributed e-newsletter called Spiritual Connections and is a staff writer for Spirit of Maat magazine in Sedona. For more information go to www.starsoundings.com or email jomooy@gmail.com.

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Enlightenment

Honoring Ourselves

by Berenice Andrews A Shakespearean “Aside” Four centuries after it was first staged, Shakespeare’s Hamlet, [The Tragedy of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark] still has the power to leave us scared and perplexed. It’s a bewildering play whose author knew very well that its audiences could “botch the words up to fit their own thoughts” (4.5.12). That’s not surprising when we note that above all else, Hamlet is an intensely personal (yet impersonal) psychological drama. As such, it can still impact on its audiences in 2017.

Quite simply, it reveals the interior world that each of us carries. It’s a world that we are required to discover after we have stopped bonding with our primary caregiver and started on the often-hazardous journey of discovering ourselves. And Hamlet is still wonderfully able to help us.

Right from its opening line, “Who’s there?” it pushes us into self-discovery by “holding the mirror up to [our] nature”

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(3.2.23-24). With that in mind, I have ventured into the world of Prince Hamlet to make some discoveries about myself.

The World of Prince Hamlet In his 16th-century world, Prince Hamlet, at age 25, would have been middle-aged. When we first meet him, he has already enjoyed a very comfortable life. His parents have apparently loved him and each other. He has been gifted with a childhood mentor, Yorick, who had helped satisfy many of his childhood needs. And he has been involved in a romantic relationship with Ophelia, a gentle woman, the daughter of Polonius, a respected adviser at the court.

Then Hamlet’s pleasant world falls to pieces. He’s plunged into what we would describe as a “midlife crisis” complete with severe mental depression.

His father, King Hamlet, has died quite unexpectedly and

his mother has wasted no time in entering into an “incestuous” marriage (1.2.159) with her deceased husband’s brother, who has then become the king. As Hamlet’s grief and depression worsens, he becomes increasingly unable to tolerate what he regards as the obvious failings of the people around him.

He decides (with good reason) that the respected Polonius is really a fool whose advice is so loaded with self-serving contradictions that it’s laughable and ill-fitting a royal counselor.

Then Hamlet slides deeper and puts Ophelia into the same category as his (apparently) wanton mother.

When the ghost of his father keeps appearing to others to tell them that he had been murdered, Hamlet’s emotional meltdown is complete.

Yet, he tries to hang onto the shards of sanity by reminding himself about himself—that he exists (somehow) apart from the people around him.

The Soliloquy Then Shakespeare gives Hamlet (and us) the opportunity to probe into the deepest grief and pain.

In “to be or not to be” (3.1.56-88), a soliloquy which allows for a self-exploration more personal than either reverie or meditation, we encounter the fundamental options of our life (as Shakespeare speaking through Hamlet sees it).

Down we go, likely beyond our depths, to probe into the idea that we mortals fear, not death, but an afterlife that could be worse than our present situation. Since this can only be dreaded, we end up choosing to stay alive and suffer (“thus conscience doth make cowards of us all” (3.1.83). Any resolve that we might have had to change our situation, we rationalize away. The result in Hamlet’s story (and foreseeably in ours) is tragedy.

Twenty-First Century Afterthoughts So, this exercise in discovering myself by using the words and ideas found in a 16th-century literary masterpiece has brought me to an important realization. (To be sure it might be a “botched” idea!)

It’s an insight in which many modern spiritual seekers have found themselves floundering. That’s not surprising since it has required the Age of Enlightenment, plus another century, before we were even half-ready to receive it.

It’s the idea that for us “to be or not to be” as a human requires acknowledging the multidimensionality that this implies.

In other words, it’s the dawning awareness that in our evolving consciousness, where growth and change are always happening, there can be a new realization about our humanness.

Although others had been providing the clues (for centuries), Ernest Holmes and the “new thought” people of the early 20th century were instrumental in pushing us along that path. It’s a...

A New Thought ...that we’re already in heaven (or hell). That’s where our lives as humans on this plane have to be lived and we are the ones who can make it happen.

As a result, we realize that although Hamlet saw himself as the helpless victim of an unavoidable fate, we have the power to view ourselves differently. Thus, I can conclude that “to be or

not to be” requires that I acknowledge, accept and allow my own “i-am.”

Then, I plunge into my own soliloquy. It has always been there awaiting me—and all of us.

What I venture into is actually a spiritual exploration that the world’s wise ones—starting with the shamans—have been trying to get people to take for centuries. As a result, “to be or not to be” can take on a new meaning. We finally see that it’s Spiritin-Action in our lives All along, Spirit has been working in me, as me and through me. It has been a shaping and firming work-in-progress.

While it can be regarded as essentially personal, it can also be seen as being as impersonal as the action on a stage.

A Soliloquy About Me With all that in mind and in order to honor my Self, I have (quite presumptuously) taken as my model Shakespeare’s and Hamlet’s great soliloquy and let it express my “new thought” way of being.

Do I have a choice about my existence on this plane?

Must I passively acquiesce in the events of my life, Or can I take a stand against obvious wrongdoing?

My Self was made to be a Being of choice and a Co-creator with Spirit.

I can live and love and follow a path That’s both human and mind, human and heart.

I can make of my Self a being of light The light of awareness.

And I can make of myself a being of love.

Both expressing the Spirit in me.

And if on that journey, I end my days, Without having come to all that “i-am,” I will still have accomplished my purpose.

Conclusion And sixteenth-century Hamlet continues to be a brilliant example of what people have to learn about the first steps in selfactualization.

Now, in this early twenty-first century, with a global village emerging as our habitat and with an increasing knowledge about our heart/mind consciousness energies finally in-forming us, we are ready to move into a splendid new understanding of “to be or not to be.” And, unlike Hamlet, we can allow ourselves to rejoice in what we are.

Author’s note: The source for the play is W.G. Clark and W. Aldis Wright, The Complete Works of William Shakespeare, 1967.

••••••••••••••

Berenice Andrews is a shamanic teacher/healer. For more details about the healing practices mentioned above, see her book Rebirthing Into Androgyny: Your Quest for Wholeness...And Afterward. See also her articles “Finding Your True Self: A (Sort of) Socratic Dialog,” September, 2014, and “Understanding the Human Energy Being,” June, July and August, 2015 in Transformation Magazine. If you are interested in reading more and/or becoming her student, see her web site: thestonecircleclassroom.com.

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Enlightenment

Putting Permaculture to Work in Your Garden and Your Life

Myth: Women Are the Weaker Sex

By Anita Moorjani “Can you sign this book to ‘Samirah’?” asked a beautiful olive-skinned woman with large dark eyes looking out at me from under her hijab (the traditional covering for the hair and neck worn by Muslim women). She was the final person standing in the book-signing line at a Hay House event in Pasadena, California, where I had just finished speaking.

“Sure,” I responded. “That’s a beautiful name!”

“Thank you. It’s my name,” she said with a smile, proceeding to spell it out to ensure that I wrote it correctly.

“I loved your book,” she continued, as I inscribed a message for her on the title page. “I related to so much of your life story, especially some of the cultural challenges.”

“Cultural challenges can be so tricky!” I responded. “I’m so glad I don’t have to deal with most of that anymore!”

“You’re so lucky,” she said. “In fact, do you have time to talk? I waited to be the last in line just to see if you could give me a few minutes of your time. Let me buy you a cup of tea or coffee.”

I looked at Samirah’s perfectly chiseled and smiling face, her lovely silk hijab falling softly around the shoulders of her dark floral dress, which reached below her ankles. Instinctively sensing the potential for an extremely interesting conversation, I accepted her invitation. I then glanced over my shoulder at Jennifer, the Hay House employee who helps make my life easier at all my speaking engagements.

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“I’m fine from here, Jen!” I said. “Thanks for all your help!”

“You sure you’re okay?” she asked. “Do you want me to walk you to the authors’ lounge?”

“No, I’m fine. I’m going to have a cup of tea with this lovely woman,” I responded, gesturing at Samirah and then reaching over to give Jen a hug to show my appreciation for all her help.

“There’s a quiet café just down the hallway of the convention center,” Samirah mentioned. “I had my lunch there earlier.”

“Everyone’s gone into the auditorium to listen to the next speaker,” I said,“so I think we’ll have the place to ourselves.”

We made our way there, and after we sat down and ordered our tea, Samirah jumped right in with her first question.

“When you talk about being in the other realm, you always say that you were without your culture, your gender, your religion, and so on. Are you sure about this?” she asked intently.

“I mean, are we all really without our gender, our culture, and our religion when we die?” She seemed desperate for assurance.

Heaven Has No Gender “Yes, absolutely!” I responded. “We have no physical bodies in the other realm, and gender is part of our physical bodies. It’s part of our biology because in this realm, we are expected to procreate—so we must have reproductive systems. But when we are without our bodies, we have no need for a reproductive system. We have no biology, as such. We are pure spirit, just be-

ings of light—pure essence, pure consciousness.”

“I completely believe you. But the problem is that I live in a culture that is run by men. We women are invisible. It doesn’t matter how smart I am or how much knowledge I have. I have to give in to men on every issue, just because they are men, regardless of their position, their personal experience, or their education,” Samirah shared.

“In order to be valued in my culture, I have to be subservient and dim my light! The more invisible I am, the more I make myself small, the more the man in my life can be big—and then the more valuable I become! I have to do the opposite of what you say we have come here to do. To be valued, I am expected to have all those traits you used to have before you got cancer! They are seen as positive traits for women in my culture.

“One time, I completely locked horns with my husband on an issue having to do with our daughter and some problems she was having at school,” Samirah continued. “She was struggling, trying to fit in, but my husband didn’t want her to integrate into a foreign culture, even though he was the one who made the decision to move out of our country and live here because of his business! It broke my heart to see her struggle so much, trying to negotiate cultures. My son didn’t have the same problems because my husband allowed him to integrate into the local culture, making friends with the local boys at school and doing the things they do.

My husband is much more lenient with him than he is with our daughter.

“He wouldn’t budge on this issue, and I was certain that what I wanted to do was best for her. So I went to see a wellrespected man in our community whom we often go to for advice.

I thought he would understand the issue because he has lived in the U.S. for a long time and has raised a family here. I was hoping he would help me to speak with my husband. But after I told him the issue, his response was, ‘You must listen to your husband, because after all, he is the man of the house. It isn’t right to go against his wishes, and it’s not right to encourage your daughter to go against his wishes. You have to explain that to your daughter, otherwise how will she ever learn that this is our culture? Since we are not living in our home country, she is not learning about her culture at school. So it’s your responsibility to teach her. She will have to adjust to her own husband someday. It’s better that she start learning now, or she (and you) will have problems when

she is of marriageable age! It will be difficult for her to find a suitable husband if she strays too far from our traditions.’ Can you imagine my frustration when he responded in that way?”

“I can completely understand how frustrating that must have been for you!” I answered, remembering many of the cultural issues I had faced, trying to fit in with my school friends and wishing that I did not have to deal with trying to stay within my cultural restrictions. I had been given the same warning—that if I strayed too far from our cultural norms, I would have a very hard time finding a husband!

“I’ve read your book, as well as the accounts of many others who have had experiences like yours,” Samirah continued.

“So for me, the proverbial veil has been pulled back. I feel I can see the truth. Your experience in particular really hit home for me because of the cultural issues you had faced. I know what you say is true. But knowing that, how can I ever fit in again? I now struggle seeing the blatant gender disparity that takes place all around me. I recognize how women have been silenced and overpowered in my culture, and how in our silence, those with the loudest voices have taken control. It’s not that anything around me is different or has changed. It’s me who has changed.

My world has blown wide open because I now know that this is not how God intended it to be for us women. We are all equal in the eyes of God. All our voices matter just the same. And it’s the louder, more aggressive male voices among us that have created this false perception of women. But why does it feel as though only I am seeing it this way? A part of me wonders: Was I better off not knowing?”

Although no one actually verbalized this, it was clear to me from the time I was very young that women always held roles that were subservient to or in some way served men.

Gender Roles Are Cultural What Samirah was telling me was so raw and so powerful. I really felt for her, and her words deeply resonated with me because I totally related to them. The timing of this encounter was interesting because I had recently been thinking about the gender disparity and how it affects our society. I had been watching the coverage of the 2016 presidential race on television, and it struck me as very unusual that until this election, no woman had ever before become a serious candidate for nomination in a country much of the world considers to be one of the most progressive and freest on the planet. To top it off, the candidates’ debate I’d been watching most recently (the first Republican debate) featured 10 men but not a single woman (although one woman relegated to

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a secondary debate improved her polling numbers enough to be included in subsequent main debates). The candidates had been discussing sensitive issues, such as whether a woman should have the legal right to abort the fetus if she were to become pregnant.

They went on to discuss the topic of rape and whether a woman had the legal right to abortion if she were raped. I found it disturbing that an overwhelming number of these candidates declared that they were against abortion under any circumstances, even if the pregnancy was caused by rape!

What was even more disturbing was that their decisions directly affected women’s bodies and women’s lives, much more so than the men who impregnated those women, yet no woman was being consulted on this issue.

As I watched this, my mind was flooded with memories of growing up in Asia and being indoctrinated in a culture where all the dominant roles were male. And I was now hit with the realization that it wasn’t just my culture that was this way. It was largely the same the world over. Some cultures are just more overt about this than others.

Although no one actually verbalized this, it was clear to me from the time I was very young that women always held roles that were subservient to or in some way served men. It seemed almost normal for men to dominate. This myth, like any other, informed my thinking well into my 20s because this seemed to be true in real life as well as on television. All the senior roles in the corporate world, in government, in politics, in the armed forces, and so on were held by men; and if women were in the picture at all, they had supporting roles such as a junior clerical assistant, stenographer or secretary.

Doctors were more often than not depicted as men, and their nurses were women. My kindergarten and elementary school teachers were always women, but as we went higher into our senior years and college, they were mostly men. This went on and on.

“Samirah, you probably already know from reading my book that I grew up in a culture where arranged marriages are the norm, and I spent my youth being groomed to be a wife,” I said after taking a long sip of my tea.

“Yes, I know, but I think the community I have been brought up in is much more orthodox than the one you were brought up in,” she said. “You have no idea how lucky you are that your parents still accepted you after you came back from running away from the arranged marriage all those years ago, and that you later married a wonderful man who understands and supports you and your ideals—especially after having such a life-transform-

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ing experience! My situation is similar, yet very different! My father was very strict and very proud. We couldn’t go against his wishes, no matter what the reason!”

Although my parents were very loving as I was growing up, their gender roles were clearly defined by our culture.

My dad went to work, and my mom took care of our home and the kids. Dad always had the last word on all the major decisions for our family, and even though my mother knew how to get her way sometimes, she had to be really creative in finding ways to make my father see her point of view. Creativity and timing was everything for her, and getting him to agree with her was a victory, whereas we all took for granted that my dad had ultimate power to veto anything. In other words, their relationship was not built on mutual trust and equality but on traditional cultural roles for men and women.

It is a myth that women are the weaker sex.

This article is an excerpt taken from the book What if THIS is Heaven? by Anita Moorjani. It is published by Hay House and available at all bookstores or online at: www.hayhouse.com.

••••••••••••••

Anita Moorjani was born in Singapore of Indian parents, moved to Hong Kong at the age of two, and has lived in Hong Kong most of her life. Anita had been working in the corporate world for many years before being diagnosed with cancer in April 2002. Her fascinating and moving near-death experience in early 2006 tremendously changed her perspective on life, and her work is now ingrained with the depths and insights she gained while in the other realm. She is the embodiment of the truth that we all have the inner power and wisdom to overcome even life’s most adverse situations, as she’s the living proof of this possibility. Anita currently lives in Hong Kong with her husband, and when she’s not traveling and speaking at conferences, she works as an intercultural consultant for multinational corporations based in the city. Visit her website at www.anitamoorjani.com.

Enlightened Advice

Dear Ms. Spiritual Matters, I look outside my office window and new blooms of tulips surround the fountain in the building’s plaza. The tulips paint the gardens with strokes of brilliant colors.

I feel in awe of this intense spectacle. I want to meet the gardener and give thanks for this dazzling display. What must a gardener feel like to create a scene that surprises and nurtures others?

Why does this display of tulips make me feel like I am working better than before they were planted? I can focus better on my project. Actually, I am almost done...ahead of schedule!

Sincerely, Kailee Dear Kailee, You are not the only one to feel that plants improve their ability to get work done.

Dr. Charlie Hall, Professor and Ellison Chair in International Floriculture at Texas A & M, answers your question for us. According to Dr. Hall, “Being around plants helps people concentrate better in the home and workplace. Studies show that tasks performed while under the calming influence of nature are performed better and with greater accuracy, yielding a higher quality result. Moreover, being outside in a natural environment can improve

memory performance and attention span by 20 percent.”

This is why people go to parks to practice Tai Chi and Qigong. Nature is soothing and known to help healing. Hospitals are placing plants in labyrinth formations so patients can walk through the spaces and absorb harmony and peace.

Good wishes,

Susan Shoenbeck

http://ellisonchair.tamu.edu/health-and-well-beingbenefits-of-plants/#.WJktxPkrLDd Susan Schoenbeck holds Baccalaureate and Master’s degrees in nursing from the University of Wisconsin-Madison. She is an experienced educator and teaches nursing students at Walla Walla University -- Portland, Oregon campus. She is an oblate of a Benedictine Monastery where she learned centering and contemplative meditation practices. She is author of the book, Zen and the Art of Nursing, Good Grief: Daily Meditations, and Near-Death Experiences: Visits to the Other Side.

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