Transformation Coaching Magazine, May 2018 by Transformation Coaching Magazine

Don’t give up on your

INSPIRATION!

Have you ever followed your inspiration and then failed?

It can be tempting to be angry. But, it’s not a sign that you’re a failure, that something was “not meant to be” or that your inspiration was wrong. Instead, it’s a sign there is something you need to learn in order to fulfull your intention. Failure is challenging you to become better! Inspiration is like agood friend... the one that inspires you truly live. It says “let’s do crazy, exciting things!’ and you say “yes” for the inspiration of it. You drive off the cliff together. Maybe the net will catch you and maybe you’ll hit the ground and break into 100 pieces. And, as you’re putting the pieces back together, your friend Inspiration will look over and say “wanna do it again?” Maybe you never want to do it again, or maybe you need a few months to lick your wounds. But, like a good friend, every day as you wake up, Inspiration will whisper in your ear, “wanna do it again?” And one day you’ll feel a twinge in your heart and say to yourself “I only live once… and I’m going to live fully… to follow my purpose and reach my potential. Let’s do it.” But, you learned from last time. You installed airbags. You have a bigger cushion. You’ve learned how to follow Inspiration in a way that doesn’t risk everything. Learning from failure doesn’t mean you have to give up your friend, Inspiration. It means allowing your failures to teach you. It means minimizing the risk and then trying again, knowing even if you hit the bottom hard you can rebuild, reassess, and try again, all the while enjoying the ride. There is NOTHING in life worth doing more than saying “yes” to inspiration! Joeel & Natalie Rivera, Publishers

COACHING & BUSINESS TOOLS Celebrate Your Success by Eliminating These Bad Habits The Missing Piece(s) to Your Coach Marketing Puzzle

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INSPIRATION & GROWTH True Confidence: What It is & What It’s NOT! How to Get into the In Crowd Bloom Where You’re Planted Follow the Sunflower Part 2: Follow Your Dreams Embrace the Present Moment Garbage In > Garbage Out Find What Brings You Joy Dancing a Difference in Your World Now What?

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FEED YOUR SPIRIT Destiny & Free Will

PUBLISHERS Natalie Rivera Joeel A. Rivera, M.Ed.

EDITOR Lisa Cedrone

CONTRIBUTORS Natalie Rivera, Terez “Firewoman” Hartmann, Clarisha Martin, Mary Boutieller, Scott Masciarelli, Gregg Sanderson, Lotus Josiah Seng, Marla Sanderson, , Rena Greenberg, Jo Mooy, Alan Cohen

True Confidence

True Confidence: What It is & What It’s NOT!

What it is & what it’s NOT!

By Joeel A. Rivera, M.Ed. What is the first thing that comes to mind when I ask you what confidence is? For most people, what comes to mind is feeling confident. For others, they think of confidence as a personality trait, a belief in their abilities, or self-esteem. But none of these are what confidence truly is.

CONFIDENCE IS NOTTheAtruth FEELING. is that feelings like ner-

vousness, anxiety, apprehension, and fear are totally normal. Confident people still feel these things, yet they’re confident.

CONFIDENCE IS NOT A PERSONALITY TRAIT. Many people interpret extro-

verted people, who are outgoing and like the spotlight, as being confident and they judge introverted people, who are more quiet, reserved, and to themselves, as not being confident. But, the truth is that there are many seemingly outgoing people who have very low levels of confidence and many reserved people with extremely high levels of confidence.

CONFIDENCE IS NOT A BELIEF IN YOUR ABILITIES. Believing you are good at some-

thing is competency, not confidence. You can be confident that you are good at something, but you can also be confident that you are bad at something. The definition of confidence can be that it is our level of certainty. You can be confident that you’re a terrible speaker. You’re pretty certain you’re right. And, so confidence in this sense is NOT a good thing. This type of confidence or certainty magnifies whatever we tell ourselves. It’s referred to as self-validation because we tend to act on what we are certain about, causing the outcome we ex-

pected and validating our belief. But this is not helpful. This is not the confidence we want. And, so we need a better definition of confidence.

CONFIDENCE IS NOT SELF-ESTEEM

(WHICH IS REALLY JUST SELF-JUDGMENT).

The self-esteem movement has existed for decades and encourages people to “think positive” about themselves. But, while it may make you feel good about yourself in the moment, it doesn’t lead to real confidence.

The truth is that the need to feel good about yourself can actually lower your confidence! This is because growth and success often require you to do new things, that you’re bad at and are uncomfortable with, therefore leading to a negative selfjudgment. And so, seeking feeling good all the time can hold you back. If your self-confidence is improved by successes and diminished by failures, you’re talking about self esteem, not confidence. • In this case, one way to boost your self-esteem is by being better than others, which usually means acting confident, or arrogant, and constantly competing. • The only other way to win is to lower your standards and make your goals easier to accomplish.

You win more, and so feel better about yourself. But, in the end you lose.

You lose because your ego is big but your self-esteem is vulnerable. If you build your self-esteem around your looks and you age, your self-worth plummets. If you build it around being smart and you find yourself around smarter people, you’ll shrink back. In fact, you’ll probably surround yourself with less smart people just to boost your own ego. If you build your self-esteem around being right, which is extremely common, you will harm your relationships. You’ll battle with someone you love to win, and end up losing trust and love. Plus, you’ll battle for bad ideas, just because they’re yours, robbing yourself and others of greatness.

SO, WHAT SHOULD YOU BUILD YOUR SELF-ESTEEM AROUND? Your ability to learn. You’re ability

to be resourceful. The goal is to develop an identity of someone that can grow, change, learn, and figure it out. If you can do those things, you cannot fail and your belief in yourself is no longer vulnerable. So, confidence is not just a feeling, although you will feel confident. It is not a fixed trait. And it’s not simply a belief in yourself or self-esteem, although that is part of it.

SO, WHAT IS IT? Confidence is a skill—one that

can be developed and strengthened like a muscle.

Confidence is the willingness to try combined with trust you will figure it out. A willingness try means a willingness to act, even in the face of fear or uncertainty. And trust doesn’t mean that you trust you won’t fail, it means that you trust that if you do fail, you’ll learn from it and continue to try until you figure it out.

When you define confidence based on action, it allows you to develop competency.

STEP 3—COMPETENCY: They apply what they learn to

improve their abilities and skills, which builds competency. Then, not only do you have higher self-esteem because your competency is better, you have TRUE confidence because:

the next step is to identify what can be done, which one way or another is a form of action. This action in most cases is in the direction of getting better at something, which is competency.

You know that no matter where you are now, your willingness to try is what unlocks your future potential.

valuable insight, and either way you learn.

Next month I’ll talk about why having a GROWTH MINDSET is the key to developing TRUE confidence (and why

And competency increases confidence. This is called the Confidence-Competency Loop.

STEPOnce1—TRY: you identify what you want, STEPYou2—LEARN: either succeeds or receives

so many people don’t have it). You’ll learn why thinking of confidence as a feeling or a belief in your abilities actually hinders your potential and how the need to feel good and be smart discourages you from trying. And you’ll learn that all you have to do is change the way you think about yourself and practice the mindset of true confidence and you’ll be able to stop doubting yourself and know deeply that you can do and create anything you can dream of. Want a sneak peak? Watch the video that inspired the article (on the Growth Mindset) on our YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/Transformservices

Transformation Coaching with Joeel A. Rivera Joeel Rivera is a visionary creator, coach, speaker and serial entrepreneur. He is a former psychology professor with Master’s Degree in Counseling and Education and is currently completing his dissertation for his Ph.D. in Psychology, with an emphasis on happiness. Joeel infuses a deep understanding of the science of psychology and human potential into all of his programs. He has worked with thousands of organizations, INDIEpreneurs and life coaches who are committed to mastering the power of their mind and creating their destiny. He has almost 40,000 students from 170 countries around the world. Visit www.IgniteLife.me and www.Transformation-Academy.com.

How to Get Into the How to Get into the In Crowd

In Crowd

Everything you do to try to become cool will backfire because you already are cool. By Alan Cohen

In high school I looked up to my classmate Rick Brown, the quintessential cool guy. He was the good-looking captain of the football team and president of the student council. He had a cheerleader homecoming queen girlfriend and was liked by everyone. I envied Rick because he was at the epicenter of the in crowd, and I saw myself as a distant outsider. Years after we graduated, I ran into Rick and we reminisced. I confessed, “I was always envious of you because you were in the in crowd and I was way out.” Rick laughed. “Really?” he came back. “I always thought you were in the in crowd and I was out.” I couldn’t have been more stunned. Here was a guy who had all the accoutrements of success, all the things I wished I could be and have. Meanwhile he was envying me. How insane is that? That serendipitous meeting with Rick proved pivotal for me. That day I realized that the voice in our head that tells us that we are defective or less-than is a liar. A story from the video series The Beatles Anthology illustrates this very dy8

namic. At the height of the Beatles’ illustrious career, George Harrison decided he wasn’t fit to be in a band as talented as the Beatles. He went to Ringo Starr and told him, “I’m not a real Beatle. You guys are the real Beatles, so I am going to quit the band.” Ringo replied, “I was just thinking the same thing—that you three are the real Beatles and I am the fake, so I will quit the band.” The belief that either George or Ringo were not the real Beatles seems laughable and ludicrous, since each of those musicians was talented in his own way, and the unique synergy of those four made the Beatles the most successful entertainers in history. But each of them had to face and deal with their own demons. If even the Beatles suffered from a sense of deficiency, you can see what a fake that voice is, and why you should give it no credence and not let it stop you.

We all have it, and there are several ways we deal with it. Most of us run from self-judgment by busying ourselves with endless tasks and errands, working continuously, or distracting ourselves with our Smartphone or other addictions. Others attempt to compensate for their perceived lack by building up an ego-façade of braggadocio, competition, bullying, anxiety-driven achievement, adding degrees, or collecting empty trophies. Another group is willing to look within and heal self-judgment by holding it up to the light of higher awareness. James Thurber, author of The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, said,

The pervasive belief that “I am a phony” is called “fraud guilt.”

It is only when we are willing to stop, step back, and tell the truth about what motivates us that we can break free. A Course in Miracles tells us that the world we have created is inside out and upside down, the exact opposite of the way we were born to live. If you want

“All men should strive to learn before they die, what they are running from, and to, and why.”

to know what is true, take most of what you ish ourselves right where we stand, every have learned about how to succeed and re- door that we have sought to kick down verse it. would open effortlessly before us. Everything you do to try to become cool will backfire because you already are cool. God created you cool, and there is nothing you can do to become uncool, except try to become cool. In the trying is the lying. The coolest thing you could do is be yourself. To envy another person is to deny the gifts you uniquely bring. One way to reframe envy is to replace the word with the letters N.V., which stand for “new vision.” If someone has someThe ego thrives on creating ficti- thing you want, they are demonstrating tious gaps between who we are and who that you are a match to that attribute we should be. But there is no gap. We are because you are aware of it. Everything already good, worthy, and love-able as we you see in the outside world is a reflecare. If we can love, honor, accept, and cher- tion of what is going on in your inner

One of the most pervasive illusions is that we have to struggle to become good, worthy, and like-able.

world. “You spot it, you got it.” So instead of separating yourself from that person or attribute by believing it is outside of you, expand your vision and claim ownership of that trait by realizing it is inside of you. Then you heal the sense of separation and gain all that you thought you missed. The in crowd is not a group of people you need to join. You cannot get in because you are already in.

The real in crowd is made up of those who are willing to look within to find themselves.

GET REAL with Alan Cohen Alan Cohen is the author of many popular inspirational books, including the forthcoming The Tao Made Easy. Join Alan in Hawaii this December for his life-changing seminar Transformer Training to develop your skills and/or career as a teacher, healer, or leader. For more information about this program, Alan’s books and videos, free daily inspirational quotes, online courses, and weekly radio show, visit www.alancohen.com.

Celebrate Your Success by Eliminating These Celebrate Your Success by Eliminating These Bad Habits

Bad Habits By Ashar Mohammed

“Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken.” —Warren Buffett You are the sum of your habits. When you allow bad habits to take over, they dramatically impede your path to success. The challenge is that bad habits are insidious, creeping up on you slowly until you don’t even notice the damage they’re causing. Breaking bad habits requires selfcontrol—and lots of it. Research indicates that it’s worth the effort, as self-control has huge implications for success. University of Pennsylvania psychologists Angela Duckworth and Martin Seligman conducted a study where they measured college students’ IQ scores and

feel more alert. In the afternoon, the sun’s rays lose their blue light, which allows your body to produce melatonin and start making you sleepy. By the evening, your brain doesn’t expect any blue light exposure and is very sensitive to it. Most of our favorite evening devices—laptops, tablets, and mobile phones—emit short-wavelength blue light brightly and right in your face. This exposure impairs melatonin production and interferes with your ability to fall asleep as well as with the quality of your sleep once you do nod off. As we’ve all experienced, a poor night’s sleep has disastrous effects. The best thing you can do is to avoid these devices after dinner (television is OK for levels of self-control upon entering uni- most people as long as they sit far enough versity. Four years later, they looked at away from the set). the students’ grade point averages (GPA) and found that self-control was twice as important as IQ in earning a high GPA. The self-control required to deIt takes you 15 consecutive minvelop good habits (and stop bad ones) utes of focus before you can fully engage also serves as the foundation for a strong in a task. Once you do, you fall into a euwork ethic and high productivity. Self- phoric state of increased productivity called control is like a muscle—to build it up you flow. Research shows that people in a flow need to exercise it. Practice flexing your state are five times more productive than self-control muscle by breaking the fol- they otherwise would be. When you click lowing bad habits: out of your work because you get an itch to check the news, Facebook, a sport’s score, or what have you, this pulls you out of flow. This means you have to go through another This is a big one that most 15 minutes of continuous focus to reenter people don’t even realize harms their the flow state. Click in and out of your work sleep and productivity. Short-wavelength enough times, and you can go through an blue light plays an important role in your entire day without experiencing flow. mood, energy level, and sleep quality. In the morning, sunlight contains high concentrations of this blue light. When your eyes are exposed to it directly, the blue Nothing turns people off like a light halts production of the sleep-induc- mid-conversation text message or even ing hormone melatonin and makes you a quick glance at your phone. When you

Impulsively surfing the Internet.

Using your phone, tablet, or computer in bed.

Checking your phone during a conversation.

commit to a conversation, focus all your energy on the conversation. You will find that conversations are more enjoyable and effective when you immerse yourself in them.

Using multiple notifications.

Multiple notifications are a productivity nightmare. Studies have shown that hopping on your phone and email every time they ping for your attention causes your productivity to plummet. Getting notified every time a message drops onto your phone or an email arrives in your inbox might feel productive, but it isn’t. Instead of working at the whim of your notifications, pool all your emails/texts and check them at designated times (e.g., respond to your emails every hour). This is a proven, productive way to work.

Saying “yes” when you should say “no.”

Research conducted at the University of California in Berkeley shows that the more difficulty that you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression, all of which erode self-control. Saying no is indeed a major self-control challenge for many people. “No” is a powerful word that you should not be afraid to wield. When it’s time to say no, emotionally intelligent people avoid phrases like “I don’t think I can” or “I’m not certain.” Saying no to a new commitment honors your existing commitments and gives you the opportunity to successfully fulfill them. Just remind yourself that saying no is an act of self-control now that will increase your future self-control by preventing the negative effects of over commitment.

Thinking about toxic people.

There are always going to be toxic people who have a way of getting under your skin and staying there. Each time you find yourself thinking about a coworker or

Waiting to act until you know you’ll succeed.

person who makes your blood boil, practice being grateful for someone else in your life instead. There are plenty of peoMost writers spend countless ple out there who deserve your attenhours brainstorming their characters and tion, and the last thing you want to do is plots, and they even write page after page think about the people who don’t matter that they know they’ll never include in the when there are people who do. books. They do this because they know that ideas need time to develop. We tend to freeze up when it’s time to get started You should never give anything because we know that our ideas aren’t half of your attention, especially meet- perfect and that what we produce might ings. If a meeting isn’t worth your full at- not be any good. But how can you ever tention, then you shouldn’t be attending produce something great if you don’t get it in the first place; and if the meeting is started and give your ideas time to evolve? worth your full attention, then you need Author Jodi Picoult summarized the imto get everything you can out of it. Multi- portance of avoiding perfectionism pertasking during meetings hurts you by cre- fectly: “You can edit a bad page, but you ating the impression that you believe you can’t edit a blank page.” are more important than everyone else.

Multitasking during meetings.

Gossiping.

Gossipers derive pleasure from other people’s misfortunes. It might be fun to peer into somebody else’s personal or professional faux pas at first, but over time, it gets tiring, makes you feel gross, and it hurts other people. There are too many positives out there and too much to learn from interesting people to waste your time talking about the misfortune of others.

“Great minds discuss ideas, average ones discuss events, and small minds discuss people.”

—Eleanor Roosevelt

Comparing yourself to other people.

When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from comparing yourself to others, you are no longer the master of your own happiness. When you feel good about something that you’ve done, don’t allow anyone’s opinions or accomplishments take that away from you. While it’s impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you don’t have to compare yourself to others, and you can always take people’s opinions with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what other people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within. Regardless of what people think of you at any particular moment, one thing is certain—you’re never as good or bad as they say you are.

Bringing it all together.

By practicing self-control to break these bad habits, you can simultaneously strengthen your self-control muscle and abolish nasty habits that have the power to bring your career to a grinding halt.

Pursue Your Freedom with Ashar Mohammed Ashar Mohammed is Nutritionist, Networking Business Coach, NLP Practitioner, Life Coach, and the author of Home Work Out Bible and Healthy Eating. After earning a MBA, Ashar worked in business for his family and on his own for 13 years, until becoming a coach in 2015. Now pursuing his true passion, Ashar has helped thousands of people around the world to achieve their freedom—freedom from disease, freedom of time, and travel and financial freedom. For more information, visit his blog at ashardxn.blogspot.se.

Bloom Where Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re Planted

By Noelle Sterne

When we bloom where we’re planted, we invest ourselves wholly in the work before us.

Do you wake in the morning and groan? Not because you can’t face another spartan breakfast of kale and skim milk but because you dread your day job. All you crave is to stay home and paint, write, or work on your latest interior design. You get up, grumble, and stub your toe on the pile of your rolled-up canvases, novel drafts, or swatch catalogues. As you rush out the door, you scowl deeper, visualizing another horrible day at work... I too have harbored such attitudes. They are harmful, even damaging, to our body, our psyche, our present job, and our future creative work. Struggling with those negative rockets, I found the remedy sitting right in front of me on my desk. Inscribed on a little blue vase of dried flowers on my desk, the message commanded:

“Bloom Where You Are Planted."

This notion may sound cliché, distasteful, or outrageous. But, as a minister’s experience and my own show, both described below, you can change how you look at your job, how you feel, and thereby

what you experience—and get closer to letters address the issues, but they’re—uninyour dream. spired. And several people in the office have noticed your negativity.” Paul looked at the floor. Mr. Rennie suggested they meet after work to talk more. Paul agreed, feeling Paul had always wanted to work uncomfortable and yet slightly relieved. for the church and someday pastor his In the coffee shop, Paul found himown flock. Just out of seminary, he joy- self telling this surprisingly sympathetic man fully accepted a post at the headquarters about his excitement at acceptance to the administrative offices. headquarters. He smiled for the first time On his first day, the assistant in months. Then he burst out, “But I was office manager showed him to his of- given the most insignificant job in the whole fice. Paul stepped into a badly lit cubicle place!” with a single lamp, a desk, and a wooden “Oh, Paul,” said Mr. Rennie, smiling. chair. Stacks of letters obscured the desk- “No. You have one of the most important top. Squeezed among them rested a large jobs in the whole place.” manual typewriter. Paul’s elation and ego Paul looked bewildered. fell flat. The supervisor continued. “For The assistant manager informed so many people, you’re the very first conPaul he was expected to answer a certain tact with our church. Your reply determines number of letters daily, and they would whether they get the information, support, be reviewed by the supervisor before and comfort they need. Your responses anmailing. “Good luck.” The man left. swer their prayers!” Paul sighed, guiltily wishing this Paul’s eyes widened. He’d never prayer hadn’t been answered. He sat seen his job this way. gingerly on the hard chair, poked at the For the entire weekend, Paul typewriter, and took the top letter from thought about Mr. Rennie’s words and prayed the nearest pile. for long periods. And he had no desire to And so began weeks of toil. overeat or watch too much television. Paul managed to produce the required Paul realized several things. He’d number of letters, but he developed viewed his letter-writing as only menial and eyestrain, backache, and an unpleasant boring. Now, he saw, his letters gave people disposition. After work, he ate too much, what they needed. Wasn’t his mission as a watched too much television, and found pastor to help, whatever the form? it harder to get up each day. The next Monday, Paul bounded One Friday, Paul’s supervisor out of bed, arrived early at work, smiled at took him aside. “I know you’re doing your everyone, and dove into the letters. best,” said Mr. Rennie, “but something is A few months later, Paul was transobviously bothering you.” ferred and progressed through the organizaPaul mumbled, “I’m fulfilling my tion. After several years, he pastored his first quota.” congregation and went on to establish his “True,” said Mr. Rennie. “Your large, successful ministry in New York City.

SEE YOUR DAY JOB DIFFERENTLY

What was Paul’s lesson—and ours? He learned to see his job differently and then acted differently. How we act applies to all of us who feel dissatisfied, frustrated, annoyed, or downright enraged about where we are in our lives, careers, and creative pursuits. So . . .

DO YOUR DAY JOB DIFFERENTLY In an office job, I developed an at-

titude close to Paul’s initial one. I grumbled to a good friend about the boss, the excessive work, my constant exhaustion, and how I’d never get to write, my true passion. My wise and spiritual friend Peggy waited until I finished complaining and said quietly,

“To get out of this job, plunge into it. Give it a hundred and fifty percent."

Our attitudes influence our expe“What!” Peggy nodded and said nothing riences. How do you feel clearing a friend’s dishes after a party? Or your family’s after more. I huffed for a few days but finally dinner? Washing your water color brushes succumbed to Peggy’s advice. At the of- or house painting brushes? Getting wet at fice, I concentrated only on the work and the pool party or stepping in a puddle on the doing it well. To my shock, everything went way to the office? How can you transfer the smoother. I stopped resenting the boss enjoyment of one to the aggravation of the and felt less spent when I got home. Most other? When we bloom where we’re evenings I even wrote for a half hour. Feeling better, I became friend- planted, we invest ourselves wholly in the ly with office colleagues. As I told them work before us. As the Zen saying goes, chop about my writing, they asked for help wood, carry water. This means doing your with letters, announcements, and their work fully, positively, mindfully, with recogchildren’s stories. Word got around, and nition of its value—waiting tables, washing I took more assignments. Eight months clothes, balancing accounts, chauffeuring children. Then your attitude becomes one of later, I was able to leave the office job. giving and thinking of those who will benefit. Your attitude becomes one of love. As Paul and I discovered and my little blue vase reminds me, the lesson is to see your detested work in a different light. Reverse that outlook to one of giving. When Our problem isn’t the you bless others this way, the blessings will work, tasks, the circumstances, or the en- and must come back to you multiplied. vironment. Think of prisoners of war and Your work, whatever it is, is good victims of natural disasters. How do so work. Hold to and act on this thought. Bloom many rise out of their terrible conditions? where you’re planted, and your good work In the midst of horrors, they embrace a will metamorphose, slowly or speedily but hopeful, undaunted outlook (see espe- inevitably, into your good creative works. cially Viktor Frankl’s works for astounding examples).

WHAT’S THE BLOOMIN’ LESSON?

Trust Your Life Now with Noelle Sterne, Ph.D. Noelle Sterne, Ph.D. (Columbia University), author, mainstream and academic editor, writing coach, workshop leader, and spiritual counselor, has published over 400 writing craft and spiritual pieces, personal and academic essays, poems, and fiction in print and online periodicals and blog sites. Publications include Author Magazine, Chicken Soup for the Soul, Children’s Book Insider, Funds for Writers, InnerSelf, Inside Higher Ed, New Age Journal, Ruminate, Thesis Whisperer, Transformation Magazine, Textbook and Academic Authors Association Blog, Two Drops of Ink, Unity Magazine, The Writer, and Writer’s Digest. In Trust Your Life: Forgive Yourself and Go After Your Dreams (Unity Books, 2011), Noelle helps readers release regrets and reach lifelong yearnings. In Challenges in Writing Your Dissertation: Coping with the Emotional, Interpersonal, and Spiritual Struggles (Rowman & Littlefield Education, 2015) she helps doctoral candidates complete their degrees. Noelle is finally rounding the completion corner of her first novel. For more, see Noelle’s website: www.trustyourlifenow.com.

The Missing Piece(s) to Your Coach Marketing Puzzle

By Natalie Rivera

(For other entrepreneurs, joint ventures is equally as effective and you can replace Have you done what it seems ev- free sessions with some other way of leteryone says you need to do... ting your customers or clients “try you out” or get a taste of what you can offer.)

Create a website, Facebook page, and business cards…

...but you’re frustrated because you’re still not getting enough clients? Do you feel like you’ve wasted time or money on marketing strategies that don’t work, or never tried any because you feel stuck and overwhelmed? If so, you’re not alone. It’s no wonder one of the most common things we hear from life coaches or other entrepreneurs when the topic of marketing comes up is…

JointFirstVentures let’s look at Joint Ventures.

The most effective method of gaining access to your target market is through collaboration. Joint ventures are like minipartnerships when 2 or more individuals or businesses collaborate on a specific project, by pooling resources, talents, time and energy. Ultimately, both partners work together in some capacity for mutual benefit. They agree to share the rewards, as well as any risks. Unlike a business partnership, joint ventures are short term collaborative projects.

“Yuck! I hate marketing! I suck at it, it’s overwhelming, and it’s expensive!” Joint ventures expand your reach by accessing a preBut we have qualified audience.

good...marketing news… doesn’t have to be

Collaboration gives you the opportunity to co-create new products or services by collaborating with partners who bring different competencies or expertise to the table. JV partnerships are the most effective marketing strategy, whether you’re just starting up or you’re ready to take your business to the next level, and here’s why: First of all, it’s free: In most cases, joint ventures don’t cost anything. Instead, you work together to generate sales and then split the profit. You don’t need an audience to start with: If you have a huge following and a big email list, great! But if you don’t that’s okay too because you can establish a mutually beneficial partnership with someone else that will expose you to their audience, which helps you build your list. It’s highly targeted marketing: You can spend countless hours and money trying to identify and target your specific market of ideal clients, or you can collaborate with someone who already works directly with them—and get a joint ventures and free sessions. warm introduction.

expensive or complicated. In fact, in our decade of experience and after working with thousands of coaches, we can tell you that the MOST EFFECTIVE marketing strategies for life coaches are both simple and FREE! (In previous issues we talked about the importance of focusing on a niche, offering specific results, creating a coaching package, and developing a magnet message or elevator pitch. If you missed out, you can catch up by watching our videos on those topics on our YouTube Channel https:// www.youtube.com/Transformservices/) Doing these things is truly the key to building a profitable coaching business—but it only works if you put yourself out there through marketing. You have to get in front of or in contact with your ideal clients.

There are 2 proven marketing methods that work for life coaches above all other methods:

You get to leverage their credibility: People do business with people or companies they know, like and trust, and by partnering with someone who promotes you to their established following who loves them, you benefit from the good will and trust they’ve already developed. The benefit is that this warm-contact leads to much higher conversion rates than paid advertising. Plus, it’s scalable: You can work with as many joint venture partners as you want—there are no limits! And, as you increase experience with joint ventures, you’ll be able to reach higher and higher into bigger, more established markets with more influential partners.

Here’s how it works: There are people and organizations

out there that already have an audience that is dying for your solution. Just waiting for you. All you have to do is figure out who already works with your tribe. It’s so simple. Ask yourself: • Who are my ideal clients? • What are they interested in? • What other business do they already work with? Once you know these things, reach out and create a partnership with those businesses. The best part is that this works offline and online For example: Let’s say you want to coach people how to overcome a divorce. Where do you think those people might be? Examples of where to find them: Women’s resource center, divorce forums, divorce lawyers. Another example: If you are a health coach who specializes in helping people create healthy diets, where do you think those people might be? A more direct connect would be by partnering with personal trainers who work with people who are trying to lose weight or live a healthy lifestyle.

FreeThen, Sessions what do you do with this per-

son you attract through a joint venture, who would benefit from your coaching services, and is interested? This is where the second marketing strategy for coaches comes in, which is free sessions!

The best way to convert an interested potential client into a paid client is to give them an opportunity to get to know you.

it wrong and need to dive into learning So, how do you get peo- doing how to up your game. ple to sign up for your Other times it isn’t that your introductory session? marketing isn’t working, it’s In order to sign up clients for your introductory session, you need to make it compelling. There are 3 parts of a compelling free session offer. 1. A concrete and compelling name. 2. A list of powerful outcomes or results that clients will leave the session with. 3. Limiters or perceived scarcity.

Give them a chance to see what coaching can do for them by offering them a free or highly discounted introductory session. This free session is also important for you because it gives you an opportunity to see if this person is a good client for you. But, it’s important to know there TIP 1: Make sure your free session offer is a right way and a wrong way to offer and signup link are easy to find on your free sessions. website. Put a call to action or graphic that stands out on the main page and/ or put a link in the main navigation bar. (This seems like something Captain Obvious would say, but you’d be surprised how many people overlook this. So if you did, no worries! Go fix it now.) a) get your clients results b) be able to discuss your offer TIP 2: Allow interested clients to book their appointment automatically. First, you need to structure your This one technique of using session around clearly-defined outcomes free introductory sessions is absolutely so that your potential client receives real VITAL because regardless of how you value and experiences what you can offer get a new lead through your marketing, them through coaching. One great idea is whether they become a client or not all to focus a free introductory session about comes down to this moment when you a specific topic, such as a sub-topic within can offer them a chance to experience your full coaching package. It gives them a your coaching and make them an offer taste of the benefits they can experience, they can’t refuse. which makes them want to take it further. So, as you can see, getting cliSecond, you want to avoid doing ents and that scary word “marketing” what many coaches do, which is to finish a don’t have to be scary, complicated or great coaching session and fail to make an expensive. Not only have the 2 strategies offer. It can be awkward, so it’s important to we’ve mentioned been PROVEN to be the have a pre-planned strategy for making a com- most effective methods of getting clients, pelling offer so you don’t leave it to chance. they’re both also super simple and FREE! And, this is another reason you need to have a Sometimes certain marketing well-structured coaching program to offer and strategies just don’t work. know how to describe the outcomes. Other times, you may just be

Ultimately there are 2 goals when offering free coaching session:

that YOU aren’t working. Sometimes you’re telling yourself “marketing is hard, complicated, expensive,” or another favorite, “I don’t know how to do marketing; I suck at it,” to give yourself an excuse for not doing it. The truth is that in the information age the answer to “HOW do I effectively market my services” is literally at your finger tips. If you’re willing to do some research and invest in learning, you can do it.

Everything is figure-out-able!

So, don’t let yourself hide behind your fears by making getting clients more complicated than it needs to be. Stop telling yourself you first need to become experts at social media and build a fancy website. Stop waiting for more social proof or fancy credentials. Stop holding yourself back by not putting yourself out there because there are people out there who really need you.

Don’t be the missing piece in your clients’ transformation. If you’re interested in exploring these marketing strategies more in-depth, we have an entire course dedicated to Joint Ventures and another one to Free Sessions. We also have a great course on Email Marketing if you are interested in generating leads through digital marketing and creating sales funnels. Enter code grow2018 to save 40% on these courses at http://www.transformation-academy.com.

Ignite Life with Natalie Rivera

Natalie Rivera is a firestarter, speaker and entrepreneur. She is passionate about empowering others to GET REAL and live authentically. After a decade of living a life that wasn’t hers and developing Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Natalie let go of everything and completely transformed. Through her journey to healing she rediscovered her true self and greater purpose—to inspire others to transform their lives. Natalie “retired” from the rat race at 24, put herself through school as a freelance designer, created a non-profit teen center, and later created Transformation Services, Inc., which offers motivational speaking, curriculum development, life coaching, event management, and publishing. She is also the Publisher of Transformation Magazine. Visit www.transformation-academy.com.

Follow the Sunflower Part 2: Follow Your Dreams

Sunffllflower Follow the

Part 2

Follow Your Dreams by Terez “Firewoman” Hartmann

Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! As the alarm sounded and Terez opened her eyes, she heard the words, “Follow your dreams, for they know the way…” singing in her head. It took a moment for her to realize that she actually was simply lying in bed with both Music and Magic (her two feline children) snuggled up beside her and not in a barn in the middle of somewhere, surrounded by endless rows of sunflowers, having magical animal encounters and a conversation with a stranger while sitting at a purple piano… When the fog lifted and the thought occurred to her that she had just experienced a super cool dream, she decided to just make a fun mental note and get into her day. Rather than just stumble downstairs to make coffee, she felt a strong impulse to throw on exercise clothes and take a short stroll around the neighborhood to get some natural light before packing and departing for her semiannual solo road trip. She turned to look at the clock, and when she saw 11:11 she knew she was on to something good. Just the night before, she found herself feeling unnaturally tentative and fearful about her trip, even to the point of experiencing extreme physical pain. Considering that she is a full-blown gypsy spirit who LIVES to travel ANY time for ANY reason and that she especially loves getting to see seasonal blooms and foliage— which this trip was ALL about—obviously, something was very much out of whack. Because she knew the wisdom of only going forward when she felt clear, she resolved to wait until “the” day to make her decision about her trip and was totally willing to reschedule the ad-

venture if her inner compass told her this was not the time. BUT after seeing 11:11, waking up pain free, getting on her feet with total ease, and realizing the power of that AMAZING dream, she felt like her spirit had more than given her the green light to go forth and explore. She quickly went to work to pack, load her jeep, and fire up her roadtrip playlist. And with the start of the song “Life is a Highway” (her favorite version by Rascal Flatts from the movie, “Cars”), she was on her way! Considering where she had just been emotionally and physically, even making it this far seemed like a huge personal victory. Though she had many miles and hours to go before reaching her official destination and making it home to tell the tale, she was, in that moment already “there,” feeling so much joy and energy moving through her. After all, getting to feel exhilarated and alive was always the TRUE destination she sought, regardless of the “end point” she entered into the GPS: Creating or planning an adventure always is simply a reason to take the journey. With each mile and moment along the way, Terez was greeted by beauty. She constantly found herself running into EXACTLY what she was looking for, turning a corner to find yet another beautiful cherry tree or garden filled with knock-out spring blooms, getting just the advice she needed for the next leg of her trip; she even had three new song melodies and lyrics flow to her during the trip! She came home feeling so happy and refreshed, thrilled that she had allowed herself to shake things up and drum up some new rhythms by listening to the joy that was calling her, rather than let irrational fear stop her. This trip was, indeed,

all she had hoped it would be. Once she arrived home to her wonderful husband, John, their sweet kitties, their friendly neighborhood hummingbird and even a bonus backyard visit from a small flock of migrating Indigo Buntings (a spectacular multi-toned blue bird that is rarely spotted in her neck of the woods), it was as if all the heavens had blessed her recent excursion, yet… The next morning, she found herself in a state of utter lethargy that quickly evolved to a feeling of great sadness. Where on Earth did THIS come from, she wondered?! How can I have just come through such a magnificent journey, had the most amazing homecoming and then wake up feeling like THIS?! It simply made no sense! At the same time, she knew that emotional responses don’t just pop out of thin air, and, even though what she was experiencing at this moment completely sucked, she knew she must have followed a thought trail of her own making that led her to this place; so her “anal-lytical” mind went to work to find the source of her suffering. Sure enough, she discovered the trigger and the trail, but the problem was that NONE of this was making her feel any better; on the contrary, it seemed to make matters worse, almost summon physical pain through her and keep her firmly planted in Miseryville. Even though she and John had opted to go on a hike in a lovely place to help shift her vibe, it seemed like nothing could break the spell that she had somehow placed on herself. Just as she considered calling it a day and heading home, John discovered a new section of the trail that

looked inviting. “We can always just walk a short distance to check it out and then head home, “John suggested. Terez resisted for a moment but considering that there really was nothing to lose and there was no need to “commit” to walking the entire trail, she agreed to go forward. Each twist and turn seemed to call her to go just a little further because there were few things that excited and intrigued Terez more than exploring new terrain. She still had a few funky thoughts floating in her head, but step by step, her spirit seemed to lighten, and soon she found herself becoming more and more present and engaged with the beauty that surrounded her. She then started to hear a familiar melody and loop of words in her mind that kept repeating, “Follow your dreams for they know they way,” a song that came to her in that incredible dream—the night before she was contemplating starting her adventure—and that continued to “play” in her mind throughout her glorious road trip. Rather than fight the constant loop, she decided to listen and enjoy the feeling of the music and the message of the words.

When you heart tells a story that your mind cannot write And the harder you seek, the less that you find Take heart, fellow travelers, your map lives inside You have an inner compass to serve as your guide Follow, follow, follow your dreams For they know, they know, they know the way! 22

In her mind’s eye, she started to consider the idea of LITERALLY following her dreams, “What if there is a version of myself that has already walked this trail— and in the grand scheme, she has already found her way to living the bigger life I’ve been creating?” And as quickly as that thought danced into Terez’s consciousness, she could almost see a woman on the trail ahead of her motioning her onward and then disappearing around the next corner. With this idea, the song looping in her mind seemed to get louder, clearer and more vivid, and Terez’s spirit celebrated as her body relaxed, her mood got brighter and her pace quickened while she and John eagerly explored this lovely new path together. Once they reached the next crossroad, they decided it was time to head toward the parking lot, but with a new spring in her step and a sparkle in her eyes, Terez was happy to make her way back to bring forward the ideas and music that had flowed to and through her along this beautiful trail. As she shared the journey that had taken place in her mind with John, a sudden realization struck her: Even though they had not wandered into a field of sunflowers or found themselves in a magical barn, ALL of the things that had taken place in her dream had indeed played out in “real” life: She allowed herself to do something she loved—to take her road trip—to drum up some new rhythm and create a new groove. Birds, animals and serendipitous symbols in the form of people, numbers, ideas and opportunities were a constant companion both during her trip and since arriving home, all letting her know she was on the right track.

A special and powerful song had encouraged her to explore a new path, and she was open, willing and compelled to follow the music. The lighter her heart and spirit became, the more the song in her head seemed to get louder and clearer. Though she could not clearly see the “mystery woman” in her dream— what if the woman in the dream was indeed a version of herself who had already “been there, done that,” and knew the best and most scenic route possible for getting to where she truly wanted to go? She had literally “followed her dream,” and by doing so, it helped her find HER way and write the full song her heart started singing to her:

When you know you were meant for oh, so much more But history has presented only closing doors The only way you can do what has not yet been done Is stop looking behind you and toward what you can become Follow, follow, follow your dreams For they know, they know, they know the way For they are so much bigger than fear And they are so much wiser than what you’ve known

So instead of trying to figure out how to make them come about Let your passion set your feet upon the road And think back only from the end result She’s been there! He’s been there! And your dreams will always tell you where to go… Then go! Follow, follow, follow your dreams For they know, they know, they know the way Follow, follow, follow your dreams For they know, they know, they know the way!

THE BOTTOM LINE: FOLLOW THE SUNFLOWER, FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS

Since that fateful day in the woods, John and I have discovered some beautiful new avenues for bringing our dreams to fruition that have set us on some exciting and expansive new paths. It is and always will be an ongoing process, but one thing is for sure: You cannot get to a new destination by walking backwards on an old path that only leads to what has been. Imagine if instead of seeing your clients, students, or loved ones replay unproductive habits of thought, you helped them to focus onward, upward and forward, encouraging them to follow the mu-

sic of their dreams? What if YOU, as a coach, mentor, parent or friend experienced a journey much like “Follow the Sunflower” and found YOUR way, which then allowed YOU to truly stand at the “end” of the trail, like the “mystery woman” to serve as a beacon of light for them to find THEIR way? Whatever form your version of “Follow the Sunflower,” may take, I encourage you to follow YOUR dreams, for they do—and always will—know the way.

For “Follow the Sunflower: Part One” visit: http://allowingyoursucces.wixsite.com/terezfirewoman/single-post/2018/04/10/Follow-The-Sunflower-Part-One

ALLOWING YOUR SUCCESS with Terez “Firewoman” Hartmann

Terez “Firewoman” Hartmann,“Your catalyst for all things Fab-YOU-lous,” is the author of Allowing Your Success!, a proud contributing author of Transform Your Life! book one and two, a professional Keynote Speaker/ Workshop Facilitator, Singer-Songwriter/Recording Artist, “Allowing Adventures!” & “Savor Vacation” Facilitator, and true Renaissance Woman, and Visionary. She keeps her fire lit by embracing and promoting a lifestyle of “Allowing,” and by using creative expression to elevate and ignite the human spirit, a passion that she shares with her husband, soul-mate and creative partner of over 15 years, John Victor Hartmann. Together they share “Allowing TRUE LOVE” workshops and experiences designed to help others attract, allow, and maintain extraordinary relationships, and create custom jingles and voice-overs in their studio, THE Creativity Express. Visit: www. TerezFirewoman.com

Embrace the

ment

Embrace the Present Mo-

Present Moment

There are many ways to bring meditation into our lives. Take time to find what works for you.

By Mary Boutieller What a wonderful time of the year it is! Springtime is here, and we’ve had the privilege of watching a cardinal build a nest, lay three eggs, and now the babies have hatched. My husband and I can’t get a really good glimpse of them, as we are trying to respect the space around the nest, but every so often we poke our heads out onto our balcony and tiptoe to the edge for a quick glance at the smallest, ugliest, cutest little chicks we’ve ever seen! Amazing to me that these little creatures can survive at all, and how the two cardinals tend to them, feed them and keep them warm. Sometimes it is the simple things that mean the most—those moments that bring us out of our heads, our to-do lists, out of the past and future, and into the present moment. Speaking of “present moment” awareness, I’ve recently started meditating in earnest. As a yoga teacher, it’s hard to admit that I’m not already an experienced meditator. Trust me, I have tried many, many times to start and maintain a meditation practice, and I have failed or given up just as many times. I had all the excuses: I don’t “sit” well, I have a monkey (puppy) mind, I don’t have time, it’s too hard, it

doesn’t feel good, etc. I would sit and squirm and think and think some more, determine that I wasn’t meant for it, and stop. I reasoned to myself that I was a moving meditator. While out gardening or teaching, I could slow the endless flow of thought a lot easier. But not by just sitting—there was way too much going on in my noggin for that! And then I took a workshop. It was not on meditation. It was on imbalances in the body. The instructor started the class by saying we would begin with a 15-minute meditation (combined with breath work). I instantly internally groaned, “NO!” My mind screamed, “not 15 whole minutes!” Talk about priming myself! But I did what he said, which was something like this: “Get into any comfortable position: standing, sitting, lying down. Relax your body but try to maintain alignment in your spine. Start a basic breathing technique to help focus your mind—like this: breathe in to the count of 4, hold for 4, then exhale to the count of 8. He said if that was too much, start with 3, 3, and 6.” With these instructions, I began what I thought would be dreadful. Inhale 2, 3, 4; hold 2, 3,

4; exhale 2, 3, 4, 5…I’m hungry…shoot, I’m thinking…inhale 2, 3, 4…and so on. But here was the cool thing. By focusing on the breath (pranayama), releasing judgment and cultivating a little compassion, I was able to continually come back to the breath (and the count). When the instructor rang the ending bell, my first thought was “Holy crap, that was 15 minutes!” It seemed shorter to me. And in that very moment, something switched in my stubborn ego brain and I realized that what we had just done wasn’t that hard. It wasn’t torture! In fact, it was rather pleasant. Now, to understand the magnitude of this revelation, you have to understand that I have in the past truly STRUGGLED with meditation, and I’ve struggled with the thought that I could be a yoga teacher and not be meditating at some level, and all the identity conflicts that this created in my poor little head…“If I am this, I should be doing that…” Ah, there is the “should” word! And it just seemed that this little turn of the switch took away the struggle part. I realized that it is what it is. It’s not too hard, it’s not particularly easy, but it is totally doable! The instructor said this too, “Instead of thinking you have to let it go, just let it be.” Just let it be. Be in this moment, whatever this moment brings.

David M. Bader said:

“Be here now, be somewhere else later. Is that so complicated?”

That workshop was two months ago, and I’ve meditated at some level almost every day. I started with five minutes a day and am now up to 15 minutes a day (sometimes twice). I have let go of many of the expectations and “shoulds” regarding this blossoming practice. Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes it’s not, and that has become okay with me. If I can stay present to what is, I’m less unhappy thinking about what should be different. Does that make sense? Nick Askew (Soul Biographies) wrote a beautiful little poem about wanting things to be different:

SAID TRUTH TO A DENIER Said truth to a denier. You appear to spend a great many of your waking hours wanting the world to be different. For you to be different. For me to be different. It must be exhausting. As fighting so often is.’

We may not think of it as a fight, but imagine always wanting things to be different than they are. Imagine spending all of your time thinking that trees should be red instead of green, so that every time you look at a tree, you are unhappy or unsatisfied or unfulfilled. That is a struggle of epic proportions, taking up our energy and our life force. This “meditation thing” is helping me realize how much time I spend wanting things to be other than what they are. Lately, I’ve been trying to appreciate what is. I’ve been taking a lot more moments to observe, to look, to feel, to be in the space that I’m in right here and right now. I recently read a book by Dan Harris called: 10% Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found SelfHelp That Actually Works—A True Story. It is about his journey into meditation, and reading it helped me understand some of what I was going through. There are many ways to bring meditation into our lives. Mindfulness, mantras, pauses in our day to just stop and “let be.” There was a wonderful story about a meditation teacher who tried desperately to get his mom to meditate, but she would have nothing to do with his suggestions. This went on for years. Then one day, he walked into his mother’s home and saw her sitting by the window, smoking a cigarette, and staring out into the world—so calm, so peaceful, so in the moment. And he realized that she was

meditating in her own way and had been doing so all along. Deepak Chopra said,

“Meditation is not a way of making your mind quiet. It is a way of entering into the quiet that is already there—buried under the 50,000 thoughts the average person thinks every day.”

I know it’s a bit early to tell if the meditation bug will stick, but I think this time it just might. I miss it when I don’t do it. I think about it; I look forward to it. I am confident that it has brought a little more peace into my life, a little less angst, a little more awareness of my habit patterns and endless thinking. And if it can make me 10% happier, I’m all in. May you continue to find your own way to a more peaceful, happy life.

The Yoga of Life with Mary Boutieller Mary Boutieller is a Registered Yoga Teacher through Yoga Alliance. She has been teaching yoga since 2005. Her work experience includes 22 years as a firefighter/paramedic and 10 years as a Licensed Massage Therapist. Mary’s knowledge and experience give her a well-rounded understanding of anatomy, alignment, health and movement in the body. She is passionate about the benefits of yoga and the ability to heal at all levels through awareness, compassion, and a willingness to explore. She can be reached at: SimplyogaOm@gmail.com.

Garbage In > Garbage Out Garbage In > Garbage Out

By Gregg Sanderson

that says, “It’s Not OK.” Output you get: Anger, guilt, fear, frustration—misery. What if you get a better programmer? Input: “What is” seen through BS that says “It’s OK.” Output you get: Perceptiveness, love, inner peace—happiness. It’s still the same you. You just process life’s data better.

There is nothing wrong with you except the thought/feeling that there is something wrong with you. You Make Me Feel… —Jeff Foster Suppose somebody programs a computer to add extra numbers every time. When you discover the output doesn’t jibe, you correct the program. No matter how many program fixes you have to make, there’s nothing wrong with the computer. Get this: NO MATTER HOW MESSED UP YOUR EMOTIONAL PROGRAMS (BS—Belief Systems) MAY GET, THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. Your emotions had novice programmers, so you got: Input: “What is” seen through BS

The good news: Nobody has the power to make you feel bad. It’s all a matter of your own BS when somebody or something doesn’t fit your picture of how it should be. The bad news: Nobody has the power to make you feel good. It’s all a matter of your own BS when somebody or something fits your picture of how it should be. The key is “response ability.” You and only you can change your emotional response. Here’s what happens when you believe that happiness comes from outside of you.

The Power Struggle Many would have you think you are powerful, and you don’t have to put up with any stimulus you don’t like. Just take control of the situation and whip it into shape. So you punish, guilt trip, and manipulate as much as you can get away with. They all involve trying to control the people or situation you don’t like. How’s that workin’ out for you? When you meet resistance, you have a power struggle. It destines you to strive for happiness, or to worry you might lose it. You ALWAYS meet resistance, and suppression breeds resentment. In relationships, some who mean well suggest compromise. “I’ll give up some of what I want if you give up some of what you want. I’ll be less of me, you’ll be less of you, and neither of us will be completely satisfied.” Doesn’t that sound like fun? You can’t control other people or situations. When you try, the best you can get is temporary satisfaction. Ubiquitous beliefs confuse happiness with satisfaction. It’s easy to see how well-meaning folks can get confused. They

try to satisfy their needs (BS) and happiness eludes them in the process. They could upgrade to better BS.

Power Without Struggle People do what they do. The world does what it does. You have little control over it, but virtually unlimited power over how you feel about it. That’s right! You don’t have to change the world. Program your emotional computer with better BS. It’s that simple. You’ll also discover it’s that easy. The hard part is to be willing to change. You’ve lived with the toxic BS all your life, and it fits like an old shoe. It’s comfortable, even if it gets in the way of your happiness. When you’ve suffered enough, Author’s note: If you don’t already, be sure you subscribe to Transformation Coachit helps to remember that feeling good ing Magazine so you’ll hear all the “J”s next month. It’s the only magazine that costs more feels better than feeling bad. Then it’s time to jump the “J”s. if you DON’T subscribe.

Happiness is BS with Gregg Sanderson

Gregg Sanderson is author of Spirit With A Smile, The World According To BOB. He is a licensed practitioner in the Centers for Spiritual Living, and a Certified Trainer for Infinite Possibilities. His earlier books were, What Ever Happened To Happily Ever After? and Split Happens—Easing The Pain Of Divorce. His latest project is the New Thought Global Network, where subscribers can enjoy the best in New Thought presentations from anywhere at any time. You can see it at www.newthoughtglobal.org.

Find What Brings You Joy

By Linda Commito Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.—Howard Thurman What is it that enlivens you and brings you joy? What do you love doing so much that you’d do it for free because it’s what nourishes you and gives your life meaning? My friend Francesco discovered his love of music early on. In his late 20s he gave up everything to follow his passion and live in Europe. Whether it was playing for 5,000 people in Piazza Navona in Rome or busking for tips in the London tube, it was music itself that satisfied his soul. Now decades later, Francesco still loves living the life of a musician, bringing joy to others and to himself. Some people are fortunate to find a life passion, but perhaps it is just as important to find what we feel engaged in and passionate

about right now. What is it that makes you feel alive, happy and in the moment? What makes me happy is feeling connected, creative, curious and totally present. I recently started taking painting classes again. Yes, again. Over the years, I have taken numerous art classes for short periods and then given them up—leaving dried paints and half-finished projects in their wake. While I love the arts and admire other people’s work, I’ve had limited expectations of myself. I remember my first painting class: our assignment was to paint three radishes. After working laboriously, the teacher stopped by my table and simply said: “You put the paint on nice and evenly.” When I told my “ex” he said, “Well, those are good qualifications for a house painter!” Unfortunately, I didn’t pick up a brush again for many years, but somehow the desire never left me. Now, I love doing things for the sheer joy of it. It makes me feel like I have more to give. Even though I’ve discovered other outlets for creativity, I am in an art class where free expression is encouraged. I may still “put the paint on nice and evenly,” but I’m letting go of limiting self-talk

and allowing myself to enjoy the process. I even forget to look at the clock most of the time, excited about what is emerging. What is it that brings you joy, that creates an experience that makes you feel alive? It is different for all of us, and it may be something simple. My friend Kay finds “being outdoors puts me in a happy state and helps me to be productive and pursue other areas of my life.” Whatever it is, don’t let anyone, especially yourself, talk you out of it. “Too tired? Too busy? Not good enough?” The excuses are endless. But the truth is that when you create the time, get rid of the limiting beliefs and immerse yourself in what you love, you feel energized and free and happy. Give yourself permission to do what feeds your creative soul—even if you have to do it in your free time after the chores are done. Find what brings you joy and go do it. It is a gift to all of us. If you were given a FREE DAY to do something fun, creative and meaningful . . . how would you spend it? What would you love to do if time and money were not an issue? What do you do that excites you and makes you lose all sense of time?

Love is the New Currency with Linda Commito Linda Commito, author, speaker, entrepreneur, consultant and teacher, is passionate about her vision to leave this world a kinder, more compassionate and interconnected place. Her award-winning book of inspirational stories, Love is the New Currency, demonstrates how we can each make a positive difference in the lives of others through simple acts of love and kindness. Visit www.loveisthenewcurrency.com for more information and/or to sign up for an uplifting monthly newsletter. Read about everyday acts of kindness on www.FB.com/kindnesscollaborative. Linda believes that in order to inspire a kinder world the place to start is with children. She volunteered at a Title One elementary school, working with over 500 students, to create and facilitate “Kindness Starts with Me,» a program which includes a website (www. kindnessstartswithme.com) and a book for children.

Dancing a Difference in Your World

Let the power of dance spark your inner fire and ignite healing in your life! By Arielle Giordano A former dance student recently told me that she used to dance when she was younger, but she had stopped. She also said she was trying to heal a major injury and had not thought of returning to dance as a way to facilitate her recovery. An inner fire opened in my heart after our talk, and I could see how the power of dance can ignite healing on so may different levels. You come alive with movement! When you stop dancing, both in a figurative and literal way, you put out your inner fire. Dance is a metaphor for passion in life. When you forget to dance, the fire within diminishes. The Spanish word duende means to ignite and spark the fire

within the soul. It means a heightened state of emotion, expression and authenticity connected with Flamenco Dance. Duende comes from the inside out as a physical and emotional response to artistic expression. It is what gives you chillsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; makes you smile or cryâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;as a visceral reaction to an artistic performance that is very expressive.

Dance shapeshifts you into a new way of being because it touches deeper levels of your beingness.

As dance touches your soul, you touch and inspire others! When you are dancing your dance, you motivate others to dance their dance. Dance reenergizes, relieves stress, shifts moods, stimulates creativity, balances the brain, increases flexibility, improves agility, and centers the body, mind and soul. Dance is my passion and modality for healing. Dancing transforms. Dancing gives insights, new direction, centeredness and focus and takes me into new space. If I am tired or in pain I feel energized and invigorated after dancing. If am down, in a bad mood, unhappy, depressed or just do not feel like moving, I do it anyway because in my heart I know it will help.

Allow yourself to move and dance through whatever you are experiencing in the moment. Dance moves the whole body: muscles, emotions, mental states, bones, organs and cells. Dance heals what needs healing. Dance moves what needs to shift. Dance gives you what you need to receive. Dance transforms what needs to change. Dance makes you smarter and more intelligent, and it creates new neural pathways in the brain.

HERE ARE FIVE WAYS TO DANCE A DIFFERENCE IN YOUR WORLD:

lege of Medicine study, dance can make Dance also helps to balance your you smarter, and it scored as the highest body with good posture. Stand on two feet activity for prevention of brain diseases hip distance apart, lift up your rib cage and and mental deterioration. suck in your stomach and tuck your bottom underneath your hips. Relax and put your Listen to Music. Music is healing. Listen with shoulders slightly back and down. Focus on your body. Let music move touch and in- elongating the spine. While in this position, spire you deeply in body, mind, soul and lift one leg. (Place a chair nearby in case you spirit! Listening to music soothes the soul start to lose your balance.) If you can balance and relaxes the body and mind. Connect yourself on one leg, then you have good posto the power of music and let it move ture. If you start to wobble, realign yourself you. Dance to the rhythms of your heart, and try it again. Sink into your body and as soul and body. Let dance and music reju- you shift into alignment.

venate you on all levels. Studies supporting “The Mozart Effect” show that listening to classical music alters and heals the psyche, helps plants grow better, helps babies become smarter and more intelligent and help cows give more milk. Baroque music played in a chiropractor’s office even aligned a patient’s spine withDance and Move. Your body needs to move! Get out treatment! going. Let the healing begin. Our ancestors Find Harmony. danced for every life celebration and occaDance gives us the beauty of sion. Do you watch children naturally move harmony in its expression. Dance and when they hear music? Play your favorite harmonize to the rhythms and sounds of song. Enjoy and experience the freedom your heart and soul from the inside out. of movement as you dance your dreams Get in sync. with your feet. Get all of your body parts moving. Body cells and patterns shift when Get Balanced. Movement stimulates the right you move; everything changes. Cells begin and left hemispheres of the brain. Moveto dance as you dance. Healing happens ment enhances mental clarity! Do you as endorphins release—and they are naever notice how you can think clearer afture’s happy drug. Dance with an open and ter engaging in rhythmic movements and soft heart to your own natural impulses dance? Are you more focused, energized and the rhythms of the universal heartbeat. According to an Albert Einstein Col- and balanced? Indeed, dance helps balance your brain.

Relive Stress. Dancing and physical movements have a huge impact on releasing excess stress. Dance invites you to be in your body and out of your mind. Dance can provide freedom from concentrating, mental pressure and thinking. It is a fun way to move to relieve anxiety and tension, enhance clarity of thinking and improve focus.

I leave you with a free-spirited dance exercise: Take a deep belly breath and rest in your heart. Let go of your everyday affairs. As you listen to your favorite music, move your body in your own way. Step out of your patterns, habits, thoughts and feelings. Enjoy being in your body and have fun.

Dance is like dreaming with your feet.

Dancing from the Inside Out with Arielle Giordano Arielle Giordano’s new book, Dancing with Your Story from the Inside Out, was released in March 2017. With a Masters of Arts and Masters of Education, Arielle is an author, professional dancer, inspirational speaker, certified Essentrics/Aging Backwards instructor, and workshop facilitator. She enjoys sharing her gifts and talents with an authentic style rich in the grace of dance, psychology, philosophy and the expressive arts. Her career includes: provisional psychologist, guidance counselor and substance-abuse therapist. As a Lead Faculty Area Chairperson and Faculty Member for College of Humanities at the University of Phoenix, she inspired students with her creative gifts. She also writes for Tampa Bay Wellness, We Woman and Transformation Magazine.

Now What?

“Nourishing yourself in a way that helps you blossom in the direction you want to go is attainable, and you are worth the effort.” —Deborah Day

By Jo Mooy The nature of living or “being” is activity, especially for women. It’s not possible to be in this life and not experience that. Or at least become aware of that. Living is movement. It’s creative. It’s doing. In the doing we’re usually invested in the outcome. The results are generally predictable given the effort expended. When done, we take pride in the accomplishment, elevating it to the next level, and then jumping right in as the next idea comes along. As soon as the idea takes form, a new level of activity begins. Women also have a nature. Like the bees in a collective, we soar when nurturing, caring, tending, cleaning up or doing for others. If the bees were not around the food supply would end in four years. Like the bees, if women were not around the gentleness and nurturing we exude would also disappear. This caretaking is who we are and it’s what we do. But one day something happens. After being “actively out there” for so long you come full circle and realize care taking also means taking care of yourself too. On that day you say,

“Stop! I need time off.” It’s a break from whatever work you’ve been doing or whatever activity has been consuming your time. Time off gives you permission to get away, recharge your batteries, travel perhaps, or do something totally different. It can be scary for some, or a glorious opportunity to re-invent yourself. In one scenario your work is known and accepted and loved. The awards or accolades prove it. But if you stop that activity you might wonder, what if no one is there when you’re ready to come back? That’s the sticking point for many who think about taking care of themselves. The very act of being away for a period of time will stop them from experiencing renewal or the reinvention of themselves. They become stagnant like the lobster whose shell is too tight. The lobster must shed the shell then somehow protect itself from predators while the new shell grows and hardens. Either way, if the lobster doesn’t shed the shell it dies. If it does shed the shell, it might also die. The lobster always chooses to shed the shell. It’s the activity nature of lobster! The process of “caretaking” ourselves begins with periods

of deep self-reflection. It’s a form of “taking stock” of where you are, mentally, physically and/or spiritually. Ask the hard questions. Where am I in my life? What do I want to be doing this time next year? What compels or motivates me? Where do I want to be spending my time? Will that fulfill me? Write down the answers then ask the questions again and again until the answers are refined. When the self-reflection is done and you have a course of action outlined, ask yourself the most important question. Now what? That question puts into motion the next step for the direction you wish to go. Whatever the next step is, begin from right where you are. It’s the most perfect place. If you’re a mom or a teacher guiding children, it’s the perfect place. If you’re a grandmother taking care of grandchildren, it’s the perfect place. If you work in your own business or for someone else, it’s the perfect place. No matter where that place is, each of us has a role that contributes to the wholeness of all of us. From that place a new beginning emerges and your role in it is gloriously guaranteed.

Conscious Living with Jo Mooy

Jo Mooy has studied with many spiritual traditions over the past 40 years. The wide diversity of this training allows her to develop spiritual seminars and retreats that explore inspirational concepts, give purpose and guidance to students, and present esoteric teachings in an understandable manner. Along with Patricia Cockerill, she has guided the Women’s Meditation Circle since January 2006 where it has been honored for five years in a row as the “Favorite Meditation” group in Sarasota, FL, by Natural Awakenings Magazine. Teaching and using Sound as a retreat healing practice, Jo was certified as a Sound Healer through Jonathan Goldman’s Sound Healing Association. She writes and publishes a monthly internationally distributed e-newsletter called Spiritual Connections and is a staff writer for Spirit of Maat magazine in Sedona. For more information go to www.starsoundings.com or email jomooy@gmail.com.

Destiny & Free Will

by Owen K Waters

In the Old Reality, things were seen as opposites—hot or cold, black or white, good or bad, this way or that way. In the expanded view of New Reality consciousness, life is seen in a unified way. Opposite sides of the coin are viewed, not as polar opposites, but rather as just being different aspects of the one coin. In the New Reality view of the world, the opposite extremes of hot and cold become variable degrees of warmth. Black and white become, instead, endless shades of gray. Good and bad become different shades of human nature and these can be viewed without the judgment and fear that comes with Old Reality, polarized thinking. In the Old Reality, destiny and free will were seen as mutually exclusive. The reasoning was that, if destiny exists, then it controls everything and, therefore, free will does not exist. On the other hand, you can prove that free will does exist by making a choice. So, as the thinking goes, if free will does exist, then there can be no destiny. But, wait. Perhaps that choice of “free will” was really a pre-destined one. Perhaps the person was destined to make that choice all along, so the experience of choice was just an illusion. At this point, people usually give up on the whole question because it has turned into one of those brain teasers, like asking which came first—the chicken or the egg. Brain teasers keep your mind in an endless loop until you step back from the situation and see it in a wider perspective. The new, wider perspective allows for the inclusion of non-materialistic factors. In deciding whether the chicken or the egg came first, for example, you just have to step back and see that the Creator designed the chicken to be self-perpetuating. When you step back and see destiny and free will from a wider perspective, you realize that nothing has to be absolute.

If every event in your life were pre-ordained, there would be no such thing as free will or self-determination. As we do have free will, destiny cannot be fixed. Destiny is therefore variable, not fixed. Destiny and free will both exist as interwoven facets of your life. Like threads in a tapestry, they interact with each other and blend to form the outcomes that are the events in your life.

Your destiny is created by plans that you made at a soul level of consciousness. Before you were born, you made your main plan for this life. Then, the minute you were born, the rules of the game demanded that you also get a case of amnesia about the whole arrangement. Such is the game of life in the physical realm. However, at night when you go to sleep, you have the chance to visit the deepest levels of human consciousness and review how the original plan is unfolding and make changes to your plan if desired. When you return to your physical body and awake in the morning, amnesia strikes again. Within seconds of your conscious mind returning into your physical brain, you forget both the surface dreams and the deep experiences of the night. Amnesia may be a part of the game we are playing in this life, but inner guidance is always available to anyone who pays attention to it. Your intuition is your link to your soul, or inner

being, which is also linked to the rest of the universe and all levels of Creation. You are never left alone to fumble in the darkness of a purely physical life. Your inner being is always there with you, expressing itself through the quiet whisperings of intuitive information. Thanks to this inner compass of knowing, you can always sense which choice feels right. You can always tell when your life is running on plan, and you can tell equally well if you’ve become temporarily distracted from your plan. You always have the means to be right on course, or get back on course, and explore the fascinating themes that make up your life plan. The most productive use of free will is to explore your true potential within the themes of your life, thus gaining the greatest possible experience from your life plan. Destiny is an influence that comes from your inner plan. There is nothing absolute about your destiny. It’s a pressure that constantly seeks the best route to unfold into manifestation. Free will provides the means to manifest that destiny in a way that provides the learning that you came here to acquire in this life. Destiny is variable. It adapts to new circumstances in your life every day. As destiny unfolds, you feel it within as a sense of being a part of the flow of life, of manifesting your potential in the way that you planned for this day and that you planned for this life.

Destiny is the plan. Free will is the action. Experience is the result. That’s what being human is.

Spiritual Dynamics with Owen K. Waters Owen is a cofounder of the Spiritual Dynamics Academy, where a where a free spiritual growth newsletter awaits you at: www.SpiritualDynamics.net. He is an international spiritual teacher who has helped hundreds of thousands of spiritual seekers to understand better the nature of their spiritual potential. Owen’s life has been focused upon gaining spiritual insights through extensive research and the development of his inner vision. For the past 12 years, he has written a spiritual metaphysics newsletter which empowers people to discover their own new vistas of inspiration, love and creativity. Spiritual seekers enjoy his writings for their insight and clarity.