Transformation Magazine: Embrace Change

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INSPIRATION Embrace the Season of Change When Life Hands You a Hurricane LOVE Changes EVERYTHING The Lifeguard Life Savers Finding Your Truth Navigate Your Ship TOOLS & TIPS FOR TRANSFORMATION Aging to 40: A Personal Reflection Who Me? Cry Over an Empty Nest? In The Moment How to Embrace an Integrated Approach to Healing: It’s never “all in your head.” Something Good Can Come From This Homegrown: Food for the Soul Getting Sober Empower Your Thinking for Change

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COACHING TOOLS Brand Building: How to Develop a Marketing Blueprint for E-commerce

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ENLIGHTENMENT Inspired Change Finding the Fulcrum Enlightened Advice

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Inspiration

Embrace the Season of Change instance, just as I did during my earlier school years, I am now integrating the knowledge that I have learned from my coaching Our theme this month is change—is one of my favorite school and many new thought leaders of our time. It has allowed topics. It’s exciting, it closely parallels where I am in my life, and me to see new possibilities for my life and, thus, make many changes over the past several years. it also coincides with my favorite season This process involves becomof change, the fall. ing more aligned with our true Self and true desires. We need to set new intenFor as long as I can All of our external tions that motivate and inspires us. As a remember, fall has held a result of this effort, I feel empowered— changes are a special significance and knowing that I can and will achieve my new goals. reflection of the optimism in my life. By Ann Darwicki

internal changes Perhaps it is a remnant from Fall is a rich harvest of my younger years, when a new school that result from the potential. Love every minute year would begin, complete with a new of it! wardrobe and school supplies. Each new dialogue we have with grade I entered brought with it a clean ourselves. slate and a fresh start. It was an opporAnn Darwicki RN is a Certified Profestunity to set new goals, as well as learn sional Life Coach who completed her and apply the knowledge from the pretraining at the Institute for Professional vious year. A new beginning where everything was possible! Excellence in Coaching. She is the owner and founder of Whole This fall is no exception, as I am inspired to try something Being Coaching, specializing in coaching others to live the life new and do things a little differently than I have done them beof their dreams. Prior to becoming a life coach, Ann obtained as fore. To bring that fresh new feeling into my life and set new goals Associates Degree in Nursing from Delaware Technical and Community College. She has 25 years of nursing experience caring for once again. I am inspired because I have embraced a healthier lifewomen and children, with a life long affinity for holistic medicine. style, one focused on wellness. I have been getting up earlier each She is a Reiki practitioner and Nurse Luminary. She is also a freemorning so that I can meditate. I am now eating a clean, organic, lance writer. She can be reached at 302.750.0574 or by email at non-GMO plant-based diet. I am focusing on what I want more of adarwicki@comcast.net. in my life. These changes have been surprisingly effortless, as they are so closely aligned with the vision I have for my life. All of our external changes are a reflection of the internal changes that result from the dialogue we have with ourselves. For

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Inspiration

When Life Hands You a Hurricane

By Natalie Rivera (Publisher of Transformation Coaching Magazine) As you may have heard, the southeast United States was recently hit by a massive 400-mile-wide hurricane. What you probably don’t know is that we (my husband and business partner Joeel and I, as well as the Transformation team) live in Florida, on the west coast where hurricane Irma hit directly. So, what DO you do when life gives you a hurricane? Below is our story. For days we watched updates as a category 5 hurricane barreled toward us through the Caribbean. We stayed busy working on our courses, trying to remain calm as we waited to know what to expect. As it inched toward our country and state, it looked highly likely that it would move up the east coast of our peninsula-shaped state surrounded by water, putting us on the far side, away from the strong winds and ocean flooding. Our heart went out to the residents on the other coast who were evacuating and preparing for the storm. But, with a 400 mile wide storm approaching a 100 mile wide state, we knew we were going

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to be in the path too, so we, along with all of our family, friends, and other Transformation team members, prepared by gathering water and food and protecting our homes. We planned to stay put in our home or move inland to stay with family during the storm if the wind speeds were going to be low. But, 48 hours before the storm came, it unexpectedly turned to the west… heading directly at us—and at the time the wind speeds were 165 miles per hour. Although the news was surprising, we had prepared in advance for the worst case scenario, so we took action. We heard the news late at night and called all of our family to make sure they knew that we all needed to head to higher ground.

We made sure all of our loved ones going to be taken care of, and then we decided that what was best for our immediate family was to leave.


We left immediately, at 12:30am, and drove over 500 miles into Georgia. The storm was so big, even Georgia was going to be affected, but we had to get away from the strongest winds and there were NO HOTEL ROOMS available anywhere in Florida and in most of Georgia. In all, over 6 million people evacuated in the several days leading up to the storm. As soon as we left, we felt a sense of freedom and peace. We knew we were going to be safe. The experience was surreal. Gas stations and rest areas were filled with evacuees, quietly walking their dogs, and their cats. It was obvious that we were all there, in the middle of the night, for the same reason, so no one said a word about the storm.

The rest areas off the highway were lined with cars, like a drive-in motel, with hundreds of people sleeping in their cars. We joined them and stopped to sleep in our car for a few hours before we continued to head north. We found it surprisingly comfortable and we were in good spirits! We felt grateful to have the ability to leave and were relieved to know we were safe. Although our hearts were still with those who stayed behind, we continued on and finally arrived at our destination one day before the storm hit. What stood out the most about our journey was the compassion being shared between everyone we encountered. At a gas station off the highway in Georgia, a woman and her family and friends were offering home-cooked food and water to evacuees (see photo). A stranger in Walmart heard we were coming from Florida and offered for us to stay in her home if we did not have a place to go. We heard from family and friends back in Florida who were working together to make sure everyone was safe, opening their homes to each other, helping each other hurricaneproof their homes, and sharing scarce water and goods, no questions asked. We even had one of our clients offer us her house when she saw our posts about our travels on Facebook.

Our hearts are open. So what do you do when life gives you a hurricane? We did exactly what we do with any challenging situation in life: • Stay alert and learn as much as you can about the situation • Accept and make peace with what you cannot control or predict • Take the practical steps to be prepared and plan for your alternatives • Remain clear-minded, calm, and optimistic • Keep moving forward with your day-to-day life

If you ever find yourself facing a hurricane, or any other unexpected challenge or potential threat, our final advice is to:

Hope, pray, and intend for the BEST, while preparing for the worst. We are happy to report that Hurricane Irma slowed before hitting land on the southwest coast of Florida and then further slowed to a category 1 storm before hitting our home area. Many received damage to their homes and minor flooding; most were out of power for a week or more all across the southeast United States. Our heart goes out to the residents of the Florida Keys and the Caribbean who were not as fortunate as us and our families, and those in Texas who were hit by Hurricane Harvey just a few weeks ago. Despite the likelihood of future hurricanes in our area, I WILL NEVER LEAVE FLORIDA. In fact, our heart calls is to live, one day, in the Florida Keys, which were devastated by the storm. I watched a video interview of several of residents who chose not to evacuate and weathered the worst of the storm on the tiny islands. Two of their statements really stuck with me. “We lost everything... It’s a part of living here. There is a price to pay no matter where you live. You save what you can and nature takes the rest.” “I’ll never leave. Why would I leave? At the end of the day this (pointing to a badly damaged home and pool) will all be back. Material goods can all be replaced. And you keep going.” These two men had lost EVERYTHING. Yet, their acceptance and optimism illustrate the humbling and also comforting reality that it is not the material aspects of life that matters. It’s the safety of our loved ones that matters. It’s the opportunity to continue to make the most of life, even in the most challenging moments, that matters. It’s knowing life always moves forward from wherever you find yourself today and that nothing can hold you back in the end that matters. When life hands us a hurricane we remember that as the storm clears there will always be a rainbow. And, there was. This photo is of one of Transformation’s team members, Leah, blessing the afterstorm-rainbow over the house where she stayed during the storm! We are blessed. We are grateful.

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Natalie Rivera is a firestarter, speaker and entrepreneur. She is passionate about empowering others to GET REAL and live authentically. After a decade of living a life that wasn’t hers and developing Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Natalie let go of everything and completely transformed. Through her journey to healing she rediscovered her true self and greater purpose—to inspire others to transform their lives. Natalie “retired” from the rat race at 24, put herself through school as a freelance designer, created a non-profit teen center, and later created Transformation Services, Inc., which offers motivational speaking, curriculum development, life coaching, event management, and publishing. She is also the Publisher of Transformation Magazine. Visit www.ignitelife.me.

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Inspiration

LOVE Changes EVERYTHING By Terez Hartmann We each have the ultimate formula for health, prosperity and experiencing joy-filled relationships: Feel, allow and express LOVE more than worry, guilt, anger or fear. Once the scales weigh heavier on the side of LOVE, we experience the stuff that “miracles” are made of. We have all seen and experienced myriad examples of how pain and adversity can be catalysts for life transformation, but what if instead of finally surrendering to change after a long, hard road, we chose to ENJOY the journey and allow the awesome Power of LOVE to work its magic? Let’s face it, drama and trauma has been done—and overdone. Unlike “change through pain,” the path of “transformation through LOVE” is one filled with sweetness, beauty, serenity and JOY! ANY time I have been down in the dumps, the longer I hated and resisted being where I was while seeing things as “bad” or “wrong,” the longer I would stay firmly planted in Ickyville! When I realized that the distance between despair and bliss was based solely upon my ability to let go of resistance and embrace LOVE, I decided to bypass the middleman whenever possible and go straight to LOVE. And friends, I’ve got to say that once we discover that all paths ultimately lead to LOVE and we start going willingly, we begin to tap into a magic beyond anything we’ve ever dreamed possible.

When we feel LOVE, we lack for nothing AND allow transformation. Think about it: Have you noticed that any time you’re truly loving life in those moments you are simply enjoying feeling and being right where you are? The reason we seek any kind of success or positive change in our lives is so that we can get to feel JUST LIKE THIS,

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so the more LOVE we find in our NOW, the more we get to go straight to the finish line! An added bonus: Because we no longer need anything to change for us to be able to feel good—we are now in a place where things CAN change! And the health, relationships, money, opportunities, etc., that’d we’ve been seeking start flowing into our life like a waterfall of fabulousity!

Ready to feel the LOVE, baby? Use these Allowing Power Tools™ to connect with the Transformational Power of LOVE! 1. DO WHAT YOU LOVE NOW: The more love you find NOW, the more love comes later!

Instead of waiting for the planets to align or to figure out how to attach cash flow to your passion, decide that once and for all, you will give yourself the gift of spending your time doing something you love NOW—no matter what. Even if you can only dedicate five minutes a day to doing something you truly love, you give yourself five more minutes of fully LIVING and open the door for MORE!

All that I do now began by deciding to give myself the gift of following my bliss! 2. COMMIT TO LOVE: Commit to THE very thing that makes life worth living!

People commit to many things for many different reasons, but when it all comes down to it, everything they do and every promise they keep is linked in some way to an end result of feeling good (AKA LOVE). Integrity is indeed a fabulous thing, no doubt, but just imagine how your life could change if you stayed in integrity by following your inner guidance and only saying yes to the things that make your heart sing? We’ve all seen the results of what happens when others begrudgingly keep their promises or agreements out of guilt. I don’t know about you, but when I have been on the receiving


end of this kind of exchange, excellence, quality and fun were NOT a part of the package. On the other hand, every time someone said “yes!” to me from a place of personal alignment, true appreciation, focus, and love, it was a high-fivin’-I-love-you-man kind of fiesta that benefitted absolutely everyone! NOTE: If anyone ever asks you to ignore your inner guidance or to suffer on his or her behalf, this is something that is coming from a place of anything BUT love. The Bottom Line on The Power of LOVE Love IS who we are and what we came here to experience and express, so it’s no wonder that when we feel love, we feel physically energized and fully alive! Misery and suffering does not—nor did it ever—lead to ease, success or LOVE. Only LOVE leads to LOVE, and when you feel LOVE and allow IT to become both your compass and your aim, in this very moment, you get to stand in the glow of the end of your rainbow! From where I sit as I write this tonight, I know that LOVE can and WILL change your life!

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Terez “Firewoman” Hartmann,“Your catalyst for all things Fab-YOUlous,” is the author of Allowing Your Success!, a proud contributing author of Transform Your Life! book one and two, a professional Keynote Speaker/Workshop Facilitator, Singer-Songwriter/Recording Artist, “Allowing Adventures!” & “Savor Vacation” Facilitator, and true Renaissance Woman, and Visionary. She keeps her fire lit by embracing and promoting a lifestyle of “Allowing,” and by using creative expression to elevate and ignite the human spirit, a passion that she shares with her husband, soul-mate and creative partner of over 15 years, John Victor Hartmann. Together they share “Allowing TRUE LOVE” workshops and experiences designed to help others attract, allow, and maintain extraordinary relationships, and create custom jingles and voice-overs in their studio, THE Creativity Express. Visit: www.TerezFirewoman.com

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Inspiration

The Lifeguard By J. Jaye Gold Some years ago, on a visit to Southeast Asia, my friends and I ended up on a sleepy little Malaysian island called Lankawii. When we arrived at the boat dock on this island, a lady in a business suit came up to us and said, “Would you like to go to the Sheraton resort?” Evidently, they had just opened the resort, and were looking for Westerners to find out about the place, so we were being asked to stay for free. The place was truly outrageous. It was magnificent—swimming pools, tennis courts, everything. They even had brand new windsurfing equipment with all the latest gear. I had been windsurfing for a couple of years, and was capable of doing pretty well if the conditions were okay. The people in charge of the equipment didn’t even know how to put it together, so they were thrilled to have us show them how it worked. Later that day, I was standing on the balcony of our chalet watching a guy pick up a windsurfing rig and head out into the water. The way he was handling the sail, it was clear that he didn’t know how to windsurf. Something you learn

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early about windsurfing is that if you don’t sail with the tide, the swell will take you down wind, and you won’t end up where you started. You could end up anywhere, and in this case, the wind was taking this guy out to sea. As I was looking out from my balcony, I saw this man heading out to sea. I knew what was going to happen because I know windsurfing, and I knew the guys who gave him the equipment didn’t. So I went down to where the equipment was, and told the guys who had a boat that this man was in bad shape. They tell me, “He’s okay, he’s a strong swimmer.” I tried, but I couldn’t convey to them that there was a problem.

As it was, the bay had a mouth to it, and as this man was drifting out to sea, he managed to get hooked by the edge of the land. I was looking through my binoculars and could see that he was exhausted. He barely managed to get to the land. He was a mile away from the hotel beach, but at least he was safe. As I was sitting there watching him, he jumped in the water and started to swim back, leaving his board behind. When you’re in the ocean, the only thing you have going for you is your board.


I also saw that there were swells in the ocean, and I reasoned that this guy was not going to be able to swim a mile back. He’s just not going to be able to do it. So I ran down to the beach again, and showed the guys there that he was trying to swim back without his board. At this point, even they could see that the situation was bad. The guys on the beach quickly got their boat ready and set out. I went back to my chalet and saw, through my binoculars, that they picked him up. I never saw him again, but I know he made it back. I don’t know if he ever found out that somebody saved his life. What basically happened was: I saw that his life was in jeopardy, and I acted accordingly. It was a bit of a challenge to go up to these guys on the beach a second time, since I had already approached them the first time to warn them, and they told me not to worry. The thoughts in my head said, “Why are you pestering these guys? They probably know what they’re doing.” But I went down anyway, and this man ended up having his life saved.

enon is going to replace our basic opportunity to look out for each other. By having concern, the possibilities are huge for us to learn how we are not separate. How are you going to learn that? Are you going to learn that from seeing auras? I don’t think so. If you ever really learn to see auras, it won’t be because you learned a technique. It will be because the separation between you and other people has dissolved to such a degree that you are they, and they are you. Having concern by being a lifeguard for each other is not an extra on the spiritual path—it’s a basic principle on that path.

As a human being on this Earth, your position in this life is very similar to what mine was sitting on that balcony.

It’s not okay to watch someone floundering and think, “They’ll be okay, they can swim, the winds will change,” or some such thing. The reason you We’re being asked to make those assessments is because you don’t want to make the volunteer to be the effort to respond. You have your own problems to think about— lifeguard—to sit on the there’s some commitment or embalcony and watch our barrassment or inconvenience involved. You think, “Someone else peers, and if anybody will take care of them,” and that’s okay. If you see someone tripappears to be in jeopardy, we not ping and falling physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually, and could run down, jump in, you’re witnessing it, then there and save that person. is no one else. That’s why you’re there. You are their lifeguard.

The reason I’m telling you this story is because we have a parallel situation going on here on Earth. We are dealing with two very tangible realities. One reality is that thousands of people on the planet are starving, dying from diseases that are easily preventable, victims of natural disasters and man-made disasters. It’s easy for us to recognize that need. We are in the curious position of possibly recognizing another need, a quest other than the one for physical wellbeing and survival—the quest for spiritual survival. We are the people who recognize the possibility of spiritual decay or dying. We’ve been given binoculars, which are our eyes, and we’re being asked to volunteer to be the lifeguard—to sit on the balcony and watch our peers, and if anybody appears to be in jeopardy, we could run down, jump in, and save that person. You have to allow yourself to pay attention to others. If someone is falling down, in any of the ways a person can fall, and you don’t feel concern, you’re missing the fact that the Creator has put a face and a body in front of you. We’ve been given each other as a gift. You’re not going to invent something better than that. No supernatural phenom-

Editor’s note: Excerpted from Justin Time, Autobiographical Stories from an American Spiritual Master, By J. Jaye Gold. Published 2016 by Peradam Press.

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J. Jaye Gold, in his younger years, studied at a 500-yearold experimental Naqshbandi Sufi school in northeastern Afghanistan. He now lives in Northern California and has authored four published books: Another Heart in his Hand, Highway of Diamonds, The Roca Group, and Justin Time. He is the founding director of the Center for Cultural & Naturalist Studies, a charitable organization that focuses on relief building projects worldwide. For more information, visit justingold.net.

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Inspiration

Love Reshapes the World

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By Christy Perry

“As we grow in our consciousness, there will be more compassion and more love, and then the barriers between people, between religions, between nations will begin to fall.” —Ram Dass

cape the torture and death that was enveloping Europe. That’s the pebble in the water. The courage that it took for Corrie and her family to risk their own lives for the sake of others is a prime example of knowing in our heart the difference between love and hate, compassion and indifference or selfishness. There are countless stories of kindness and cruelty from World War II, and every war before and since then. It is the theme of love vs. hate played out on a large scale—a theme that we experience at all ages and through all times. We cannot escape the fact that we live in a world of duality, but we do have a choice as to which state of consciousness we embrace.

How can we reshape the world through love? As I sat down to write this, Cornelia Ten Boom immediately came to mind. Born in Amsterdam in 1892 and known as The question you have to ask yourself is: Corrie to her family, she grew into a remarkable woman of ex“What kind of pebble am I?” emplary courage and compassion. When the Nazis occupied Holland during World War II, Corrie and her family, with the help of I know very little of what evenother sympathizers, hid both Jewish and tually happened to those saved by the non-Jewish neighbors (members of the Ten Booms, but I imagine many went resistance) for two years. When a Dutch on to marry, have children and tell I was so overcome informant finally exposed them, Corrie their stories to their grandchildren. As a and her own family were arrested in by the compassion, young girl in German-occupied Norway, Haarlem—along with about 30 people my own mother escaped the Nazis by associated with “The Hiding Place,” or kindness, love, faith traveling the underground into Sweden De Schuilplaats—but not the people and then to England, where she reunitand courage expressed they were hiding! Although the home ed with a brother and her sister. was ransacked, they were not found, Did my mother’s story impact by one individual, and and four days after the arrest other reme and shape my world? You bet it did. sistance workers rescued them. Most shared by a family Did it encourage me to be more comof the Ten Boom family and their aspassionate towards others regardless sociates were imprisoned and sent to and a community. of their circumstances, race or religion? concentration camps for their actions; Absolutely. Corrie was one of the few who survived Does it need to take a war for to tell the story. us to learn this? No. At least it shouldn’t. I hope it doesn’t. Do I In 1984, Corrie Ten Boom’s book, The Hiding Place, virtuhold any grudges against Germans because of what some of their ally leapt off of a bookstore shelf into my hands, and it changed ancestors did? No, I do not. I try to learn from history. When we my life forever. I couldn’t get her out of my mind, and I still have cannot forgive, we are hurting ourselves and others by perpetuatthat book on my shelf today. Years later, the story was made into ing the vibration of hate and fear. a movie with the same name, and I watched it at home with a box Love is compassion and kindness. Love is a state of conof tissues by my side. I even had to stop the movie at one point sciousness, not a passing emotion. Love expresses itself in many because I was sobbing; it was the same when I read the book. ways, and defines itself by our actions and vibrational essence. I was so overcome by the compassion, kindness, love, faith and We can reshape the world, one kind gesture at a time. courage expressed by one individual, and shared by a family and a community. From Corrie’s example, I came to understand that love Christy Perry has devoted most of her life to working in the creative does indeed reshape the world. This group’s acts of love and kindarts and entertainment, most recently for a successful vacation desness, shared in a book and later reaching millions through the tination retailer, which has provided the marketing and merchanmovie, are proof that the ripple effect is real. dising foundation for The BhakTee Life, an online brand of spirituImagine dropping a pebble into a body of water. What ally inspired tee shirts and clothing. She is a world traveler with a happens? Ripples form, at first small, then getting larger and largspecial connection to Ladakh, North India, in the Himalayas, and an er as they move outward. And whether we can see them or not, animal rescue advocate who frequently meditates with her cat Tati. With years of spiritual study and practice behind her, Christy is an those ripples continue because they are energy—and energy is accomplished sound practitioner working with Tibetan and crystal always moving. The pebble affects the water immediately around singing bowls and the gong. For more information visit BhakTee. it and keeps on going. com or email TheBhakTeeLife@gmail.com. Corrie Ten Boom and her family personally changed the lives—and saved the lives—of many people during World War II. They opened their hearts and their home to help so many es-

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Inspiration

Life Savers By Linda Commito

“Life is a Daring Adventure ...or it is Nothing.”—Helen Keller Life is precious. We witness and celebrate the birth of a baby as a miracle, despite the fact that these miracles have been taking place for centuries. The very act of breathing is something we often take for granted, even though it’s our life force, and without it we wouldn’t exist. It may only be when we realize that our next breath could be our last that we consciously value the gift—not only for ourselves but also for those we love—and long for a little more time. I’ve often wondered what it is that makes some people willing to sacrifice their own life to save that of another? Is there a point where they weigh the potential consequences of an act and decide to take a chance, knowing that there may not be a second one? Or are some people simply wired to help—their altruistic actions so innate that they respond automatically—with no thought of the outcome? Meet two heroes, for whom saving lives is just a natural part of what they do. Thanks to their bravery and natural instincts, several people have gotten to experience one more day. To the Rescue: Appreciating Life David Camacho, the buff, fifty-two-year-old owner of a popular bodybuilding gym in Gilroy, CA, was working out with a client and telling him about Jose and Trinidad, a couple in their sixties who were robbed just two weeks before, right in front of the local bank. Someone apparently knew that they cashed substan-

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tial checks from their business every Friday, and Jose, with cash in his hand, was stabbed outside the front door. The couple, along with their children, ran a little food market directly across the street from David’s gym, although he didn’t shop there. He was aware that there had been a rash of robberies in the town, and that the police had been unable to catch the robbers. Just seconds after he finished telling the story, David was standing by the front door with his client for a short break when he witnessed a rapidly unfolding scene across the street. “You won’t believe this,” he said. “They’re going to be robbed again!” Jose, Trinidad, and their son, Nicando, were about to enter their store when a blue sedan pulled up. The driver jumped out holding a shotgun, which he pointed at Jose’s face, while a passenger and a man in the back seat remained in the car. David knew from his experience with guns that a pump shotgun had a manual slide and would take a few seconds to work. He had a knee-jerk reaction—bolting through the open door, yelling loudly, as he ran as fast as he could toward the man holding the shotgun. David said, “The guy pointed it at me, but I was screaming and running hard at him, and in confusion, he jumped in the car and sped off.” The car was abandoned a short time later, the robbers fled on foot, and they were apprehended a week later. David was given “The Good Egg” award by the Gilroy Chamber of Commerce. Overnight, his reputation shifted from jock to courageous hero, although he was surprised to be singled out. “Anyone would do the same thing if given the chance,” he said.


When asked if he had experienced any fear, he replied, “You don’t think about it—you just jump in and help. I’ve saved the lives of others a bunch of times.” One of those instances involved a police officer who was being held down and beaten by an ex-con. No one stepped in to help. David had noticed that the excon had his gun unwrapped, and definitely had the upper hand. “I just jumped on both of them, which allowed the police officer to regain his position and save himself.” “I’ve always been for the underdog,” he said. That often got him in trouble as he was growing up. “I’ve almost been killed numerous times—from stabbings, and once from trying to prevent the robbery of my van. I flirted with death a lot in the early days.” Although David wasn’t considered a good student, he was, in fact, very creative. “My self-esteem was in the toilet. I never felt I was good enough.” But he later discovered that he excelled in one arena: As a competitive bodybuilder, his titles included Mr. Texas and Mr. Sacramento. Bodybuilding got him away from his hometown and earned him accolades and recognition. Life was good, and he was loving it. One day, while David was in his early thirties, he was enjoying a rare afternoon fishing with his younger brother, Mike. David was accustomed to flat-bottom fishing boats, but not the angle and movements of their canoe. As he tried to walk across, it capsized, sending them both into the frigid water. The shore was 100 yards away, and the fiberglass canoe had already drifted about 90 feet away. They couldn’t swim to either. I’m drowning, David thought, as his lungs filled up and the weight of his heavy shoes and jacket made him sink. He had an out-of-body experience in which he could actually see himself go down, thinking I can’t believe it. I’m not going to make it. He looked over at his brother, whom he loved, and was so sad that he couldn’t save him or himself. All of a sudden, he heard a voice: “Remember all the times you tried to end your life? Just relax now.” David started to let go and submerge, but something made him resist. No. I’ve got more to do! He fought to get back up to the surface, and was overwhelmed with joy to see that the canoe had drifted sideways toward them. It was now within eight feet. “I started bawling like a baby when I realized that we would be saved,” said David. “My brother and I each held on to an end of the canoe and then sidekicked to shore. Once safely on land, we looked over to where we had almost drowned, and there was a beautiful rainbow reflected on the water.” From that point on, David’s life seemed to take many different turns, all positively supporting his belief that things happen for a good reason. Eventually, he ended up back in his hometown, where serendipity led him to open his own bodybuilding gym. It became a way for him to help others and to do something mean-

ingful with his life. While he’s surrounded by huge photos of himself and plaques for the many competitive bodybuilding awards that he’s won, he said, “I don’t want to be that guy anymore. I get far more satisfaction supporting someone else’s rise to success.” David focuses on helping others, especially the young boys who are drawn to his gym. He teaches them bodybuilding, and shares another of his passions: archery, for which he once earned an Olympic bronze medal as a member of Team USA. He has mentored one young boy for 10 years and has just taken on another—a 14-year-old who, when he was younger, would walk by David’s gym, longing to work out there but unable to afford a membership. David’s happy to give him that opportunity now because he knows that by offering him an alternative to the gang activities that he’d been involved in, the teen would stand a good chance of changing his life. David feels that it’s a wonderful way to give back. Jose, Trinidad, and their offspring have made David an honorary member of their family, inviting him to important occasions, where he is welcomed and frequently thanked for saving their father’s life. At the most peaceful place in his life, David said: “I like myself, and the more I like myself, the more I can help others.” • Is David a man whom you would like to know or to emulate? • What would you have done if you were David and witnessed the harrowing scene before you? • What would motivate you to risk your own life to save another’s?

When asked if he had experienced any fear, he replied, “You don’t think about it—you just jump in and help. I’ve saved the lives of others a bunch of times.”

On-Call Hero Calm, confident, and solid in both stature and character, A.J Hotchkiss is the kind of man to whom you could entrust your life—and in fact, many people have done just that. A.J. got an early start as a hero when he was nine years old. He was home alone with his mom when she went into shock and passed out. A.J. remained calm and did everything that he had learned through his Cub Scout training, while he waited for a doctor to respond to his emergency call. A.J. was later credited with saving his mother’s life. When A.J. was a teen, he was allowed to ride around New York with his grandfather, a long-time fire chief, who investigated arson cases. Little did he realize that he would one day have an opportunity to fill those big boots. Decades later, A.J. moved with his wife, Lenore, to a sparsely populated Colorado mountain community—about one family per forty acres. The town’s 23,000 residents were totally dependent on a volunteer fire department. Despite the demands of their growing real estate business, A.J. contributed 11 years with the department. While five of those years were in a paid po-

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sition as chief, A.J. gave every cent back to his community. Under A.J.’s command, two fire stations were designed and built with updated equipment, one of which was later dedicated as the “A.J. Hotchkiss Fire Station.” It wasn’t long before these stations were put to the test in a major way. Two days after A.J. retired, he was called in to take command of the Cedar Mountain fire, a huge fire caused by lightning. Despite the volatile conditions that threatened his community, within two hours A.J. had brought together a volunteer force of 84 people. In three long, hard days, they successfully stopped what would have been a major catastrophe. Two months later, the Hayman Fire—which became known, at the time, as the biggest fire in Colorado’s history—started just a few miles away when a female Park Service employee carelessly burned a “Dear Jane” letter despite the extremely high risk of fire. Because of incompatible radio frequencies, poor communication and incorrect information given to Forward Intelligence, the fire, which had started in nearby Park County, was greatly underestimated. The initial call went out to only a five-man crew. Since the fire started on federal property, A.J., who was a director of the Fire Board, wasn’t authorized to respond until it crossed his county’s lines. That didn’t happen for three days, and by then the fire was raging out of control. With 1,800 people in the line of the fire, A.J., his group of volunteers, and the sheriff responded immediately, evacuating everyone safely. That wasn’t an easy task in an area that, because of its mountainous terrain, had no cell-phone or television reception. Only after the area was evacuated could they turn their full attention to fighting the fire. “I spent 15 hours a day of the hardest 15 days that I’ve ever spent in my life fighting that fire,” A.J. said. “There were 11 firefighters—victims of the forced evacuations—bunking down in our home, along with numerous volunteers exhaustedly working on the front lines, and numerous evacuees, all needing to be fed 120 meals a day, given water and supported initially by an auxiliary team headed by my wife, Lenore.” AJ continued: “At our station, we quickly ran out of food, water, diesel fuel, gas and money. We begged and borrowed money for what we needed, and our community responded.” There were even brief moments of humor throughout the ordeal. A.J. said: “Evacuating people with such short notice meant that most of them couldn’t evacuate their livestock. Wranglers were called in, which became a logistical nightmare. Real cowboys, yelling “yee haw” didn’t have much experience wrangling a thousand-pound pig! There was also one independentminded mule that got loose and ran alongside the fire trucks, but no one could catch him.” By the 15th day, the fire had already destroyed 113,000 acres of land. “It was unimaginable to be in the midst of a fire that

size,” said A.J. There was no time to be afraid. His group, working tirelessly, was instrumental in keeping the fire at bay along a sixmile fire line. None of the homes in their area were lost. After a lifetime of saving others, A.J. came close to losing his own life, after suffering a heart attack and before undergoing triple bi-pass surgery. He had looked at his loving wife of 30 years and simply said, “I’m going.” Fortunately, A.J. survived. “I’ve performed CPR many times and never thought I’d be on the receiving end,” he said. “ I died and even got to experience the tunnel and the light before being revived.” Upon his return, the first thing he said was, “I’m back. Now how do I get out of here?” A.J. said the near-death experience gave him a whole new perspective on life. “Once you grasp your own mortality, it’s hard to look at other people in the same way. I now have a more relaxed, less critical, and more forgiving attitude toward others. After all, we’re all in this life together—we’re all born and we all die.” Since then, A.J. has found a new way to contribute to his rural community. His early experiences with Internet communication were the inspiration for creating an online radio station called “The Voice of Teller County.” “Since most people don’t have very good radio signals here, it’s the perfect solution,” said A.J. with pride. “There’s not another system like it.” He’s also created a sophisticated emergency-notification system that includes enhanced 911 services. Teller County will be the first to try out the new system, which will allow 6,000 calls a minute. Fire notification will be the top priority. “It’s critical to keep people informed,” A.J. said. “If communication can save lives—and I believe it can—then that’s what we’ll be doing.” • Have you ever been in a life-threatening situation or had a near-death experience? • What thoughts were going through your mind when survival seemed only a remote possibility? • In what way did the experience change your life?

“I spent 15 hours a day of the hardest 15 days that I’ve ever spent in my life fighting that fire.”

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Editor’s note: This article is an excerpt from Linda Commito’s book Love is the New Currency. For more information visit www.loveisthenewcurrency.com.

••••••••••••••

Linda Commito, author, speaker, entrepreneur, consultant and teacher, is passionate about her vision to leave this world a kinder, more loving, and interconnected place. Her award-winning book of inspirational stories, Love is the New Currency, demonstrates how we can each make an extraordinary difference in the lives of others through simple acts of love and kindness. Linda believes that in order to inspire a kinder world the place to start is with children. She recently volunteered at a Title One elementary school, working with over 500 students, to create and facilitate “Kindness Starts With Me,” the results of which include a website (www.kindnessstartswithme.com) and a book for children. Also visit www. loveisthenewcurrency.com for more information and/or to sign up for an uplifting monthly newsletter.


Tools & Tips

Finding Your Truth By Arielle Giordano

You can change your story by knowing you created it! A life event becomes a “story” as we perceive it in our own unique way because our story is our perception and interpretation about that life event. When we talk about ourselves and our life, we are sharing our perspective and understanding with others in the world. Each tale is different based on individual cultures, experiences, family history, patterns and distinctive flavors. The more we tell our stories, the more we believe them— and the more real they become to us. We hide behind our stories, and we use them blockades from being real and authentic. But life happens, and it comes at us in many forms including situations, issues, patterns and circumstances. When meaning is then overlaid on a story it becomes bigger—and we all add personal meaning and belief to our stories. Giving a story meaning and belief can impact us on many levels. Why? Because beliefs are extremely powerful and shape who we are, what we think and what we become. Relating to and believing in a story makes it seem real.

Integrating a story into your life invites your life to become your story. Identifying with a story makes it seem relative and real. The facts are real, but interpretation of the facts is subject to error, distortion and exaggeration. For example, some people have been brought up with abusive parents and their upbringing may impact their identity. They may see themselves in their story and their story in themselves and perpetuate abuse. It becomes a vicious cycle that is hard to break—but it can be changed through awareness.

Finding the objective TRUTH is the way out of the story, and it brings you into knowing that you can change your perceptions and consequently change your life circumstances for the better. Honesty separates you from a story, and with it you begin to see that your story is not real. You begin to realize that you made your story up based upon personal perceptions, interpretations, meanings and beliefs. Transformation and change happens by being objective and honest. When you are honest, you are open to know and see the truth.

When you can listen to the truth with your heart, you are no longer your story. At this point, you are ready to accept that you are responsible for creating your stories and believing them. This will set you free to be the real and authentic you!

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Arielle Giordano’s new book, Dancing with Your Story from the Inside Out, was released in March 2017. With a Masters of Arts and Masters of Education, Arielle is an author, professional dancer, inspirational speaker, certified Essentrics/Aging Backwards instructor, and workshop facilitator. She enjoys sharing her gifts and talents with an authentic style rich in the grace of dance, psychology, philosophy and the expressive arts. Her career includes: provisional psychologist, guidance counselor and substance-abuse therapist. As a Lead Faculty Area Chairperson and Faculty Member for College of Humanities at the University of Phoenix, she inspired students with her creative gifts. She also writes for Tampa Bay Wellness, We Woman and Transformation Magazine.

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Tools & Tips

Navigate Your Ship By Lotus Josiah Seng

How to listen to the signals from your body and then follow them to find true happiness in your life and career. Once upon a time, I was reflecting upon my journey as a career executive by assessing how I felt about myself, my accomplishments and the sum of my journey. Was I in a place where I was content or challenged, or was there a sense of a benevolent yet boring status quo? Were my values, which I had identified at the start of my journey, still relevant or was I experiencing a sudden stop and discontent? Were my values and objectives still in alignment with my career goals and, more importantly, still focused on my desire for continuing transformational change? The answers to those questions were, “NO.” I was not content, and I was experiencing a disparity between my initial values and objectives, my aspirations and what made me happy and whole as a person at the time of my reflections. Within a few weeks, I created a new and exciting strategy for myself. I decided to refocus on 1) what I do best and 2) what supports my continuous transformation and simultaneously makes me happy. This plan was the rebirth of my coaching and consulting firm, ETSbyLotus, LLC. Yes or No? After reflections, assessments, collecting my resources, identifying the challenges and setting my objectives, I received a call from a previous employer with an offer—if I was available— for a job. However, the position was not within the scope of the

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designed rebirth of my coaching firm. The offer was indeed a temptation, and I had to conduct a go/no-go decision tree process. Saying “Yes” to this job implied I had to say “No” to clients with whom I already started a coaching engagement. Saying “Yes” to the previous employer also meant saying “Yes” to a company car; a generous bonus; equity and shares in this company; a solid, regular income; and a nine-to-five (well mostly) job. It was safe, secure and familiar. “Yes” also meant I had to temporarily say “No” to expanding on my own transformation, “No” to a new lease for my offices and “No” to hiring an assistant and administrative support services. Clarity

That evening after my yoga class, I decided to have dinner with a trusted friend and mentor, Tony. I told him what occurred. After carefully listening to my story, he provided me the following feedback: “Lotus, you expressed that you have a dilemma but your voice, body language and intonation speak volumes. When I inquired about your coaching and consulting firm, your voice was upbeat: energetic, fluent and happy. You spoke with your hands and gestured; you were whipping your hair and smiling. Yet, when you were discussing the position with your previous employer, your voice and body language changed instantly. Your speech went into a monotone, low energy sound and you were covering your body.” Truth and Honesty Tony was right. My voice revealed the truth. My voice and body knew my “Conscious Self” and what would be the best choice for me. He advised me not to choose safety but follow the


path of my entrepreneurship as a coach and consultant. He also advised me not to make the choice for security and follow my own concepts for coaching executives. Although it was a big leap into an unknown future—experiencing a somewhat empty schedule and less cash flow in my bank account—his advice was solid. The Expression of You Tony connected me with my own expression. He is an excellent listener and observer. I listened to “my symphony” and heard that my voice and my story were not in sync. He heard with his eyes, and noticed how I sparkled when I spoke about my coaching services and the clients that were knocking on my door. Mirror of Your Soul Our eyes are the mirror of our soul. Our eyes are transparent. We often and reluctantly forget how important it is to reflect and assess the expressive aspect of our communication. Psychologist Schultz Von Thun postulates four layers of communication: 1) The matter layer is about content. This is about factual information, identifying the problem and describing the problem, as well as the solutions we pick to solve the problem. And finally, we rationalize, and organize the problem and the solutions. 2) The expressive, self-revealing layer is the communication that displays 1) who and what the sender of the message is and 2) the emotion, values, motives and energy of the sender of the message. You can see eyes that speak volumes, or you might start to dance, or jump from one foot to another. You might bite your lip or scratch your nose. It’s all the revealing, nonverbal communication that contains truth. 3) The relationship layer is the aspect of communication between the sender and the receiver. 4) And lastly, there is the appeal layer. This is what the speaker/sender wants to happen. Albert Mehrabian, another psychologist, conducted research that shows that expression and content often are in conflict with each other (non-congruent). We prefer to listen to the intonation of the message (38%) or the facial expression (55%), rather than the literal message of the sender (7%). Trust Your Inner Navigation Everyone is familiar with signals such as butterflies in our stomach when we fall in love; playing with our hair when we might fall into a deep thought or are excited; when our eyes start to light up, or the serene intrinsic inner peace emanating from the inside when we touch on happiness. Psychologist Maja Storch explains in her book, Total Happiness, Make Yourself Happy, that we can and must trust on our own expression and the signs of our body. When we experience our voice, or physical expressions, energy and recognize these as signals, we become cognizant of the true meaning of our words.

We find happiness if we start to listen to our inner voice, our intrinsic navigation, the signs and signals of our body, our non-verbal communication.

If we make the effort to feel the impact of our words when we speak, while we look and listen to the impact of our words on the receiver of the message, our communication will be healthier and more effective. In sync When I was sharing my story about this financial lucrative job offer in a monotone, non-energetic voice, I tried to convince myself to accept this position. Something was not quite right. The choice was for security. And there’s nothing wrong with choosing security if that was my objective; it would have been a rational sensible decision. After Tony’s feedback, however, I decided to choose happiness. In hindsight, it was a crossroads decision in my life. My organizational development, strategy, coaching and mediation firm is what I stand for. I jump out of bed excited about the work I do with my clients. Every. Single. Day. Practice: What are your signals? Close your eyes and think about a situation, challenge or obstacle in your life. Close your eyes and think of a moment where you made everything that seemed impossible possible for yourself. A moment where everything was just right. Bring this memory close and feel how the corners of your mouth lift and how your breath slows down, or maybe something else happens in your body that is wonderful. Feel your stomach. And what is it exactly that you feel? Now wake up. Write down the signals you have experienced during the exercise. Next time you are at a crossroads and have to make a go/no-go decision, you might recognize some of these signals when you walk in the “right” direction or in the “wrong” direction. Observe what happens when you are making your assessment and are in a decision process. What is your body telling you? What is the story of your body. Do you feel the awakening of your body? That is your inner navigation telling you what the best choice is for you.

Remember that you are the captain of your own ship. You determine your happiness. It is a choice.

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Lotus Josiah Seng, MA., Ph.D., is a Certified Change Management Professional; Certified and Associated IWCA Master Coach; Master Expert NLP; Certified Expert Lean Management Practitioner; CSSB. She is the owner of ETSbyLotus, LLC, a coaching, mediation and consulting firm with offices in Washington, D.C., Maryland, Virginia and New York. Currently, nine coaches are affiliated with the firm. Lotus has developed two 15-step methodologies 1) “The Mecca of Your Mind©”; and 2) “Mapping. Your. Future.©” for personal growth, career development and improving relationships. Both are infused with the concepts of utilizing the strengths of the left and right side of the brain. Lotus and her team work as a coaches and mediators with couples, siblings, families and executives to foster personal growth, improving relationships, and all aspects of communication. For more information email: lotus@etsbylotus.com or follow Lotus on Twitter at EtsbyLotus or Instagram at Sheswalkingwithwings.

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Tools & Tips Inspiration

Aging to 40: A Personal Reflection By Stacy Musial I think any age we hit that ends with a zero really begins When we can open up the wounds, heal to create reflection, and 40 is no different for me. I’ve been rethem, and let go of the past, we can create a flecting on it a lot. There was a time in my life when I didn’t think new meaning for our lives, and we can really I would ever make it to the age of 40. I was kind of a hippie, and I still am at heart. For some reason I thought I’d be like Janis Jobegin to live. plin, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison or Kurt Cobain and die at 27. (Only in my draI am beyond grateful and honmatic and ever-so-tortured teen mind.) ored to be able to say that I am 40 years Not that I thought I was cool enough to old now. I feel privileged. Along the way, Growing up, I didn’t be in the “27 Club;” I just resonated with I have begun to discover my soul truth quite have a vision for them in my younger years. Five to One, and come into alignment with who I Me and Bobby McGee, Purple Haze, really am as a soul, as a woman and as myself and felt like I and In My Life, the latter by the Beatles, a human. I cherish each moment bewere among the songs I connected with cause I am honored to be walking this was a lost soul. at a deep level, even though they were path on Earth for a short time to live my not from my generation. Maybe I was soul’s purpose. there in a past life? I have learned most recently Growing up, I didn’t quite have a vision for myself and that I can have my heart’s desire. It is because we all deserve that felt like I was a lost soul. But in retrospect, I was just on a path kind of freedom, that kind of abundance and joy. We ALL deserve to find a deeper meaning to life. I would never change anything it. We all deserve the kind of love that is unwavering, uncondibecause it has made me who I am today. tional and unending. We all deserve to do things that bring us joy My life has had its twists and turns, and I’ve had to each day. overcome so much including divorce, being a single mom, putWe all are in charge of creating and manifesting the life ting myself through school during this time, addiction, obesity, we want and building the reality we will set foot into in the fuhealth problems, heartache, loss and so many other things in be- ture—because it begins now. There is no shortage. There is no tween. I’ve held onto beliefs like “I’m not good enough,” “I don’t hierarchy. Each day is a gift. Cherish it. We are not victims of our belong,” and “I’m not worthy, or valuable to make a difference in circumstances. We are empowered with all the tools we need to this world.” I have evolved to realize that life’s too short to hold make change happen. We get to choose. Everything is a choice. onto those beliefs. I’ve realized that holding onto beliefs like that We just have to believe in a new reality. We need to support each only keep me stuck and keep me from being who I am truly meant other’s growth. to be in this world.

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I am blessed to be a part of this world and to make a difference in the lives of others, which brings me joy and fulfillment. I’m excited to do all the things that I love to do: travel, compete in physically challenging events, build relationships, kayak, cycle, attend concerts, see Michelle Obama, get my motorcycle license, learn the ways of a shaman. The future has no bounds of what is possible. When I think about coming into alignment with my truth and who I want to be and what I want to experience, it is pure joy, pure passion and pure love. Because isn’t that what we all are at the deepest level?

I am 40, see me soar! A few things I have learned along the way: 1) My Body is my temple—what goes into it is EVERYTHING…food, drink, thoughts, emotions, etc….and it impacts every part of my being: physical, emotional, spiritual. 2) Everything is energy and energy changes. If you don’t like something, change the energy around it and you will have a much different experience. 3) Love is the only thing that is real. Everything else is an illusion. We are all love. And we all get to choose what we want to focus on. 4) Conformity is constricting. Following the crowd doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do or the best thing for me. 5) Everyone needs a hug, maybe three, maybe 10. Physical touch is what we all need everyday. 6) My body speaks to me; I just need to listen to what it

needs. It’s subtle, but profound. 7) Age is just a number, it’s how you feel and the meaning you give it that makes the most difference. 8) Living a heart-centered approach to life is empowering and life giving. 9) Nothing happens in a vacuum. Everyone affects everything. Every small action has a reaction. The world is our sanctuary; we must respect it as so. Things I am still in embracing: • Learning to say no and not take on too much. • Learning to BE, rather than always DOing. • Being okay with uncertainty. • Loving what’s not perfect yet—or imperfectly perfect. • Making the leap and trusting my inner guidance.

••••••••••••••• Stacy Musial is president of Health Coach Connect and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with a passion for whole-person wellness. She received her Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees in Social Work at Colorado State University and has been providing mental health therapy to individuals in community mental health, private practice and online therapy venues. She began her journey into health when she realized her own was not optimal and it impacted the way she felt physically, emotionally and spiritually. Her journey led her to earn a certificate from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition.® She enjoys running, biking, yoga and fermenting yummy foods. Visit Health Coach Connect online at healthcoachconnect.com.

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Tools & Tips

Who Me? Cry Over an Empty Nest? By Catherine Osborne Today, I became an empty nester. In my own naive fashion, I had always been certain that this would not be an issue for me. I have a full life, a business, and plenty of friends.

Without a doubt, I would miss my kids when they left, but no way was I going to be one of those Moms who cry. I have listened to friends speak of sadness, and even grief when their children left home, and it all seemed a bit excessive to me. With my kids still safely in the nest, it was easy to brush off their emotional pain as the behavior of overwrought, overly protective parents. After all, wasn’t this the goal? Wasn’t everything that came before this supposed to prepare our children for independence so that they could head out into the world on their own? Aren’t we supposed to feel success at what they have achieved, and pat ourselves on the back for our part in their success? Today, my youngest child left home. With one hand on the doorknob, he patted me on the head (he knows I hate that), flashed his disarming grin, and teasingly reminded me how much I was going to miss him. He gave me a big bear hug, told me he loved me, and walked out the door. And I cried. The tears surprised me. The week leading up to his departure had been filled with excitement and fun. Together we shopped for new shoes, picked linens for his bed, and just hung out in our typically easy fashion. We celebrated his last evening at home with a family dinner featuring his favorite foods, while

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his sisters offered unsolicited advice on the secrets to surviving first year at university. While I reveled in the easy banter between my children, I secretly smiled inside as I anticipated the evenings ahead. With no demands from children with uninspired palates, I would be free to cook whatever I want. I envisioned lamb, halibut, linguine with clam sauce, and mushroom risotto. Anything but chicken and rice, the long established staple of our family kitchen. So what’s with the tears? I have a business that I love, to grow and nurture. I have fitness goals that I plan on pursuing. I am suddenly free to travel, or simply just to come and go as I please. Yet, on this first day of freedom, I am overcome with an aimlessness that I have never before experienced. I have plenty to do. And it’s not that I actually did that much for my grown son anyway. He was busy with his life, I was busy with mine, and we came together to share the events of our day over dinner.

Nothing feels important today. The only thing that I can think of is my son. Where is this young man with the quick grin who makes an unholy mess of my house, plays his music too loudly, and drinks juice straight from the carton to my undying chagrin? I can feel his presence as acutely as if he were standing in front of me. I have work that needs to be done, mail that needs to be addressed, and clients that need to be called. I can’t do any of it. He is everywhere today. Except here. So maybe there is something to this empty nest syndrome after all. The concept of children leaving home is not new to me. I have two daughters who have gone before him. Their departures were huge events in my life, too. However, when each


of them left, there remained another at home. I maintain contact with my daughters by phone, email, and frequent visits, as I will also do with my son. But somehow, this feels different. Well, it is different. Now they are all gone. So, what now do I do with these feelings? I feel the strangest mix of happiness, loneliness, freedom, pride, and sadness. Although my emotions are everywhere today, I can’t stop picturing his first day of school when he informed his teacher, with his arms folded defiantly in front of him, that he wouldn’t be wearing his name tag because it was in the shape of a duck. Not a bear or a dinosaur, but a duck! How juvenile! He was asserting his independence even then, way back in kindergarten. Today, my independent, confident young man walked out the door, beyond excited at what lies ahead for him. And my nest is empty. So, it seems there is some truth to the elusive “empty nest syndrome.” Each of us with children will experience it differently, and these feelings are real and are not to be ignored. While it is perfectly normal to feel sad, the goal is to remain optimistic about the future and remain open to all the possibilities that might present themselves. Acknowledging to ourselves the good work we have done to help our children reach this point of independence is helpful. In my own journey through this new stage of my life, while I will always miss the regular presence of each of my three children, I hope I am flexible enough to meet the challenge of this change.

respectful of their adult status. • Think about how you might replace some of your previous “Mom” functions with other nurturing types of activities. • Do you have leisure activities that relax and motivate you? • Do you have a positive attitude about this new stage of your life? • Consider putting some of your new lifestyle plan into practice before the nest empties. • The best antidote to relieve the anxiety associated with your empty nest is to redefine your life before it happens.

Without a doubt, I would miss my kids when they left, but no way was I going to be one of those Moms who cry.

How to Prepare So what’s the cure for the empty nest syndrome? The cure is to focus on a working plan, starting a few years before the children leave. • Consider how you can begin to disengage from your old self-concept of “Mom” to a new one that still allows you to love and nurture, but that is less hands-on and more

Perhaps I will try something new. Maybe I will travel, take a course, or spend more time with friends. One thing I do know, however, is that as I move through this transitional stage of my life, I will go forward knowing that Thanksgiving will soon be here, and along with it, the chaos and happiness that a full house brings when they all return home.

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Catherine Osborne is certified coach, speaker and writer who owns and operates UpShift Coaching. Catherine is an Adler trained, ICF Certified Professional Coach whose areas of expertise include Retirement, Leadership and Wellness Coaching. With a background in healthcare as an Occupational Therapist, Catherine is well suited to meet the wellness needs of her clients. As a mid-life woman, mother, business owner and part-time empty nester, Catherine brings a wealth of real-life experience to her clients and is well prepared to coach people from all walks of life. Catherine’s talent for developing strong and trusting relationships allows her to provide a safe, confidential environment for clients to explore unlimited possibilities. Visit www.upshiftcoaching.com.

This article is a chapter from the book Transform Your Life! written by 60 real-life heroes and experts and available at Amazon.com, BN.com, www.TransformationPublishing.com and all ebook formats.

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Tools & Tips

In The Moment By Gregg Sanderson

“I always remember that I have everything I need to enjoy my here and now, unless I am letting my consciousness be dominated by demands and expectations based on the dead past or the imagined future.” Gurus from time immemorial tell us to “Be Here Now.” What the heck does that mean? It reminds me of the advice columnist who tells the guy with pimples, “Develop your personality.” By itself, it’s pretty useless advice. Let’s approach “Be Here Now” from a different angle. Let’s practice being “here now” by getting rid of the stuff that puts us “there then.” It’s especially valuable at times of great change. Start where you are...At this place (here) at this time (now). At this moment, what can keep you from enjoying it? Perhaps you’re enjoying it too much (guilt from past) or concerned about punishment (worry over the future). Maybe you miss somebody who left (past) or wish they’d come back (future). Either way, they’re not here.

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Woosh! There goes the moment. Look around while you have all that mental chatter going on. What are you missing right here and right now? . Living in the here and now is like going to Disney World. The whole world is Disney...UNLESS you focus on what you left behind, or on what’s yet to come. Disney World itself is called “The Happiest Place On Earth” because it’s a here and now experience. It’s a world of here and now wonder—from the meticulously detailed rides and attractions to the spontaneous interactions with characters, other visitors, and cast. They make it easy to focus on each moment as it happens…Nobody ever worries about the rent coming due while riding the coaster on Space Mountain. Of course, planning for the future, near or far, is a perfectly valid activity. The problem comes when being happy is part of the plan. Beware if it includes a “justassoonas,” such as, “I’ll enjoy Disney World justassoonas the fireworks start.” Or in life: “I’ll be happy justassoonas...(choose one or more)


…I make enough money. …I get married. …I dump this loser. …I retire. …I reincarnate into a better life. Well, you get the idea. We get a lot of encouragement to escape the moment, and it takes vigilance to guard against the subtle input. I remember a conversation with a fellow who joined an organization because they had a great retirement plan. He was 26. TV commercials and insurance companies assure us that disaster is inevitable, and churches tell us it’s hopeless anyhow because somebody we don’t know is reported to have eaten an apple a long, long time ago. Happily, there’s an easy way to neutralize all that input: Look around and find something to appreciate or be grateful for. SHAZAM, you’re in the moment. Guilt and worry can’t coexist with appreciation and gratitude. And if all else fails, go back to step 1:

“I always remember that I have everything I need to enjoy my here and now, unless...” Gregg Sanderson is author of Spirit With A Smile, The World According To BOB. He is a licensed practitioner in the Centers for Spiritual Living, and a Certified Trainer for Infinite Possibilities. His earlier books were, What Ever Happened To Happily Ever After? and Split Happens—Easing The Pain Of Divorce. His latest project is the New Thought Global Network, where subscribers can enjoy the best in New Thought presentations from anywhere at any time. You can see it at www.newthoughtglobal.org.

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Tools & Tips

How to Embrace an Integrated Approach to Healing: It’s never “all in your head.” By Rena Greenberg I was 25 years old, dragging myself all over New York City, from doctor to doctor, searching for relief from debilitating fatigue. From cardiologists to neurologists to endocrinologists, one by one, medical experts scoured my chart with a puzzled expression on their faces, only to look up at me, before scurrying out of the room, and mumble, “There’s nothing physically wrong with you.” “But it isn’t all in my head,” I would cry in frustration to anyone who would listen. “My body is physically exhausted.” A year later, in the emergency room of Brooklyn’s Methodist Hospital, I was finally diagnosed with an irregular heart rate that had slowed down to a near-death 30 beats per minute. The next day, a hospital chaplain came to my bedside in the critical care unit to comfort me, and he encouraged me to talk to him about my feelings. “This must be devastating to you,” he said compassionately. The young chaplain reeled back in disbelief when I confessed that I actually felt relieved by the diagnosis. He challenged me, “But you’re only 26 years old and you need a pacemaker implanted into your heart for the rest of your life to survive. You almost died!” “Yes,” I whispered, weakened by my condition. “But for a year they were telling me it’s all in my head. Finding I have a sick heart proves that it’s not.” As I look back on that experience 30 years later, I find

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it interesting that for so many of us when we are ill, or when our loved ones aren’t well, the greatest crusade in the forefront of our mind is the need to prove that it’s not “all in your head.” After I was discharged from the hospital with a permanent pacemaker implanted into my chest, to my dismay, I continued to feel exhausted—the pacemaker wasn’t the miracle cure I had hoped for. At first I continued to seek help from doctors. Often I was sent to various medical facilities for further testing, due to “irregularities,” or other red flags related to my mysterious “condition.” Before long I realized that this trajectory I was on could very well become my life story. It dawned on me that I was slipping into the identity of a “sick person”—always weak, always compromised. I knew that if I continued to see myself and carry myself in the same weakened condition that I had been operating in for the previous 18 months, most likely this would be the same way other people would relate to me as well. At the time, it didn’t feel like I had any other choice. I didn’t want to be a victim, but that was how I felt—it seemed that life had dealt me a difficult fate since all my attempts to find a “cure” were in vain. But was it fate that then moved me in a new direction? It was about that time that I discovered biofeedback therapy and hypnotherapy, through the recommendation of a dear new friend whom I had just met (and who later became my husband). The discovery of a deeper power in my own subconscious mind opened up my whole world, as I was exposed to the


power and magnificence of the right brain—the ability to let go of limiting beliefs, expand awareness, shift perception and take steps to build a new reality in my physical world. After a few months of using the tools I had learned, I was able to heal and break free from the debilitating fatigue and, in the process, end all my addictions, including my unhealthy compulsive relationship with food. I learned how to tap into my right brain and expand what my left, analytical brain would never believe to be possible. My dream of helping others became a reality when I started a hospital wellness program that was reviewed and sponsored in over 75 hospitals and attended by over 100,000 people. The Intricate Connections So what does this have to do with figuring out if your illness is in your mind or your body? Everything. Because what I’ve discovered over the years may surprise you and truly makes the whole question irrelevant. That’s because your mind and body are intricately connected; they cannot be separated. Think about it. When you feel angry, check into both your mind and your body and you will no doubt realize that the two are inseparable. Can your mind be angry while your body is calm? This is impossible. When you are overcome by thoughts of anger in your mind, at the same time, inevitably, your stomach will be grinding in a knot, your shoulders, jaw and neck will be tense, and your breathing will be quick and shallow. This is inevitable.

to walk through for true healing to occur. Typically, when a person gets sick, the first course of action is to employ the expertise of the medical community. After all traditional medical options are exhausted, often the individual will then seek “alternative treatments.” This could include acupuncture, chiropractic, nutritional supplements, hydro-colon therapy and massage therapy. Often, many of these treatments or combinations of modalities prove to be helpful. But if illness and/or fatigue persist, often our last resort—incorporating a spiritual solution—is what may help us most. The option I am speaking of is opening to the awareness that an aspect of the “problem” is neither solely in the mind nor in the body, but may also include a disease of the spirit. What is a disease of the spirit? In my case, through deep self-reflection and what I call self-hypnosis work, I came to realize that even though my problem was diagnosed as a low heart rate, which the pacemaker indeed solved on a physical level, the true cause was likely my physical heart broke down as a result of a preexisting weakness in my energetic heart. It is said that all physical disease first begins as a frailty in the energetic body. Each of us has an energetic form that our physical body overlays. Psychics who can perceive the energy field often “see” illness in one’s field even before it is physically evident. By tuning in to your own mindbody, you can also get information as to what your life experience is here to show you. Most often, our challenges are there as potential catalysts to help us evolve. However, it’s always a choice. Generally, the longer you dig your heels into the ground, refusing to explore inner healing in addition to seeking a physical cure, the more likely it is that your pain will not only continue, but that your life situation or illness may go from bad to worse. As difficult as personal change often feels, not making the changes we are called to make—whether these changes are dietary, environmental or a shift in perception—is always the much more arduous path in the long run.

“But it isn’t all in my head,” I would cry in frustration to anyone who would listen. “My body is physically exhausted.”

Can your body be sick and your mind be well? Imagine you are having a day where you’re feeling achy, sluggish and lonely. Nothing is going right and you feel as though there is little support for you. You go out to your mailbox and find an attorney’s letter informing you that you are the sole recipient of a $5 million inheritance. Skeptical at first, your research proves the letter is authentic and that this sum of money is indeed yours. How do you feel now in your mind and body? Still sluggish? I doubt it! What happened to your aches and ailments? Still feeling lonely? Most likely, your joy and excitement immediately transports you to a realm of exuberance and gratitude where physical and emotional pain can simply not coexist in this moment. There is no separation between your mind and body. Therefore, it’s a moot point whether your ailments are in your mind or in your body. They have to be in both. This does not mean that your issues are “all in your head,” or that they are your fault. Far from it! If you are feeling pain in your body, you are bound to be feeling discomfort in your mind and vice versa. This is not a reason to judge yourself or a loved one who can’t seem to shake loose a dire medical diagnosis. Instead, the realization that the mind and body are one can act as a doorway

We aren’t meant to be victims or defeated by life; we are here to learn valuable lessons that can guide us to becoming a much higher expression of ourselves. When sickness or difficulty turns our world grey, it’s an opportunity to let go of habitual ways of thinking and being that no longer serve us. In the journey of healing, we are required to examine ourselves. We may ask our self: “Am I fearful or controlling?” If so, “Can I open my heart in compassion to myself and others?”

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You may gently inquire, “What am I afraid of or angry about?” “Do I need to be perfect? If so, why?” Or “What am I ashamed of?” “What beliefs am I holding on to that may be keeping me stuck or feeling alone or small?” We may try to avoid these questions or we may push them away as insignificant according to our left, analytical brain. However, it’s only when life pushes us down on our knees that many of us become willing to look deeper within and truly witness both our own actions and the emotional and cognitive drivers of these behaviors. Healing from sickness can be a long road. In my experience, it’s a journey that requires a great deal of self-awareness, patience, acceptance and self-love on many levels. Of course, there is the level of realizing which toxins in your food and environment you are personally sensitive to, and making the required dietary and lifestyle changes. It may be necessary to have surgery or take medication or nutritional supplements. Beyond that, the breakdown of your physical body or mental health can be an opportunity to see how and why you may have cut yourself off from your greatest support: the deeper, spiritual power and strength that is always within your infinitely intelligent subconscious mind, beyond the limitations of the conscious, analytical mind and any outdated belief systems. With this new awareness, you can give yourself permission to plunge deeper than your physical and emotional pain. You may go beyond the question of whether your ailments are in your mind or your body—and connect to the deeper Truth in your essential core. It is at this level that you can experience yourself as whole, healed and perfect exactly as you are. Incredibly, this is often the moment—as you take a break from seeking the “cure”— when your life force energy begins to rise again. Higher and higher, your vitality comes alive, with every breath you take, as you begin to reclaim your inner power and true healing potential, transcending all limitation in both your mind and body.

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Rena Greenberg, a Hay House author, can be reached at EasyWillpower.com. Her weight loss and gastric bypass hypnosis success has been featured in 150-plus news stories including USA Today, Woman’s World, The Doctor’s, CNN, Good Morning America and Nightline. PBS stations nationally aired Rena’s show, “Easy Willpower,” in August 2015. Her wellness program is sponsored in 75 hospitals and 100-plus corporations. She conducts hypnotherapy sessions with people all over the world on Skype and in Sarasota, FL.

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Tools & Tips The fear says things like: “If I let go of my fear that you’ll leave me, you’ll leave me for sure.” “If I let you make your own decisions, you’ll get into trouble.” “If I’m not in control, something terrible will happen.”

Something Good Can Come From This By Rev. Marla Sanderson Change is the most natural thing in the world. It’s an indicator of Life, movement, growth. Life doesn’t stand still or go backwards. If you tread water or swim upstream, you’re likely to encounter resistance. That’s Life trying to unfold on your behalf. We live in a world of infinite possibilities. This means no matter how good or bad we have it, there is always the possibility of something better. There’s also the possibility of something worse—but you have to work at it— and suffer. Suffering is a warning. It tells you that if you keep thinking the way you’re thinking and going in the direction you’re going, things WILL get worse.

You get the idea. The funny thing is that when we let go of the fear, we see past it and nothing looks the same. I give you fewer reasons to want to leave. I stop doing the desperate things that are likely to drive you away. When I don’t interfere in your decisions, you’ll learn to make your own corrections. If I don’t control everything and everyone, I can relax and they’ll be OK. In other words, once we release the fear, we see more options—more possibilities. We no longer see things as black/ white, etc. Our perception opens up and we see a rainbow of possibilities. I have a favorite declaration I like to use when a situation looks confused or uncertain. You can probably guess what it is.

SOMETHING GOOD COMES FROM THIS!

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Pay attention to your suffering. It has a message for you. It’s interesting to see how tightly a person will hang on to a bad relationship or difficult situation. Why? Because it’s familiar? Fear of the unknown can cause you to operate in a way that goes against all the good stuff Life is trying to bring you. I’ve led many people through a process designed to let go and let Life bring on the goodies. Watching this process and experiencing it myself, I have learned one thing that I’m absolutely sure of:

Life will always get better (if you let it).

Rev. Marla Sanderson is a skilled spiritual counselor, speaker, teacher, and workshop leader. She has studied and practiced the Science of Happiness and Science of Mind for over 40 years. Her website, The New Thought Global Network, showcases ideas from many New Thought disciplines. She is ordained in the Centers for Spiritual Living. (Religious Science). Contact her at 727-4758991, or revmarla@newthoughtglobal.org or visit www.newthoughtglobal.org.

Change doesn’t mean your fears will come true. That’s just the fear talking. It doesn’t require you to end a relationship or get rid of the thing you love. You get to decide that for yourself. Fear makes us think in black and white. It limits our ability to see our options and makes us think yes/no, on/off, win/lose.

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Tools & Tips

Homegrown: Food for the Soul By Sue Musial Bigelow Growing your own vegetables is not only a great way to find the freshest produce, but it’s healthy for the spirit as well. Homegrown all starts with the soil and getting down and dirty. While gardening, it’s great to take off your shoes and get grounded; wiggle your toes in the dirt and get your hands dirty—all while soaking up some vitamin D. This is all part of the process that fuels your soul while creating food that nourishes in so many ways! If you have never grown a garden before, don’t worry because acquiring a green thumb can be a process. If you have a sunny spot in your yard with good soil you can begin by removing the sod and loosening up the soil with a shovel or tiller and adding some rich compost. It doesn’t have to be big. You can grow plenty in a 5-foot by 10-foot plot of land. A sample of your soil can be sent to your agricultural ex-

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tension agency for testing to determine what you may need to boost its nutrient value. If your soil leaves little to be desired, then a raised bed may be the best way to go. One can be built simply with four boards or the stacking of rocks to form a boarder and then buying commercial organic soil. If you are on a hill use the grade to your advantage. Maybe you don’t have land to plant on, but you have a deck or balcony. Containers can be purchased, or made, for raised deck gardens. Vegetable, herb pots or raised containers work well just outside your door. You also can buy pots in many different sizes for a variety of plants. A feed or hardware store has large plastic buckets that hold plenty of dirt, or you may even consider a watering trough as a container. You can use your imagination to create an artistic garden. Recycling an old acrylic tub could create a colorful garden for growing great goodies. But be careful of using a cast iron tub


that may contain lead. My brother turned his hot tub into a nice raised garden. Beautiful “flower beds” can be made from old bed frames. Even an old toilet could pose as a pot! Where you live on the planet will determine when the best planting time occurs. Traditionally, for those who have four seasons, spring is planting time, while in Florida between October and late spring can be the best season for growing vegetables. Some crops can be planted outside sooner than others. Frost will kill many plants and seedlings so make sure you wait until all sign of frost is over before planting things like cucumbers, tomatoes and peppers directly into the ground. Most cruciferous plants such as kale and broccoli are cold crops and can be planted as soon as the soil can be worked. Spinach and peas prefer to be planted early; they don’t like the hot summer sun. Finding a friend who also wants a small garden is great for sharing seeds. Think about what vegetables you like to consume in large quantities and plants those. Don’t be discouraged if your garden won’t grow certain vegetables. Plant what the soil prefers. My garden never seems to grow the easiest crop for most: radishes. They go to seed before the root will grow. I can’t seem to grow onions either. So I don’t! But my garden loves to grow kale, squashes, peppers, tomatoes and so much more. Once your seeds and/or plants are sowed in the soil, make sure to water frequently to promote germination and growth. The soil should be allowed to dry out in between watering because too much moisture can cause seed rot. Then, let Mother Nature do her duty—wait, weed and watch your garden grow. And remember that weeding is essential, especially the first round when the seedlings are just poking through the soil

because weeds can overtake young plants if they are not kept under control. Container gardening usually requires minimal weeding. Keeping an eye out for unwanted insects is important as well. However, love those bees, our amazing little pollinators. Using your own fresh produce in the kitchen is a great reward. It is your own personal accomplished creation. You can start with just one tomato plant in a pot and taste some of the best tomatoes you ever had at your dining table. Are you ready to take the next step to nourish your body and feed your soul?

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Susan Musial Bigelow is vice president of Health Coach Connect and a Licensed Respiratory Care Practitioner with a passion for organic gardening. She believes good health starts in the kitchen. Sue earned her Bachelor’s of Animal Science from the University of Massachusetts and worked for many years in the veterinary and pet industries with a focus on animal nutrition, where she noticed that animals’ skin and ear infections often could be cured with dietary changes. Throughout her journey, Sue continued to educate herself regarding health, wellness and nutrition, spirituality and lifestyle improvements, realizing all issues have a root cause. Going through her own personal and career transformation, Sue earned a degree in Respiratory Therapy and later received her Masters of Science in Administration from Saint Michael’s College. After witnessing too many patients dying of preventable chronic disease, she was motivated to pursue a certificate as an Integrative Nutrition Health Coach. Her passion embraces animals, horseback riding, kayaking, cooking, and walks in the wilderness. Visit Health Coach Connect at www.healthcoachconnect.com.

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Tools & Tips

Getting Sober by Alan Cohen I recently learned of the death of a musician I admire. Ruud was a trombonist in André Rieu’s orchestra. Besides being a talented musician, he was something of a comic spark plug, performing clever antics in skits the orchestra wove into their performances. I enjoyed watching Ruud on YouTube for years. He died suddenly at a relatively young age. I was surprised at how moved I was at the news of Ruud’s passing. I found the incident sobering. We usually use the word “sober” as the antithesis of being drunk. When an event sobers us, it dashes cold water on our face to extricate us from the drunkenness of the meaningless activities we often engage in.

We are awakened from the addictive behaviors we use to distract ourselves from our pain.

When an event sobers us, it dashes cold water on our face to extricate us from the drunkenness of the meaningless activities we often engage in.

The list of our addictions, hard and soft, is substantial: Drinking, drugging, email, Internet, smartphone, gaming, anxious eating, overworking, compulsive shopping, disconnected sex, neurotic cleaning, mindless babbling, arguing, continual drama,

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and on and on and on—all tricks we play on ourselves to stay hypnotized by emptiness. We each have our preferred escape. Then, something happens that forces us to face ourselves and our lives; a death, divorce, accident, business setback, health issue, legal problem or weather disaster. Some crisis or emergency. Then we have to think about what is really important and what our priorities are. While such challenges are painful, they are also liberating. They jolt us to dig into our soul rather than hang out at the shallow surface of our lives. When we go through such difficulties, we resist and curse them. After we graduate from the lessons they bring us, we find deep gratitude. None of us know how long we or our loved ones will be here. It could be a very long time or a short time. Some people disappear quickly, without notice. For that reason we must appreciate the people and gifts in our lives while we have them. Don’t take anyone or any situation for granted. Bless it while you have it. Tell your close ones that you love them. Thank them for the good they bring you. Imagine that you might not see each person after this encounter. What would you say if you knew this would be your last meeting? Hopefully you will have lots more time with your loved


ones. Just don’t wait until they are gone or almost gone to express your heart to them. Likewise, don’t wait until you find your soulmate, lose 20 pounds, get your ideal job, make your first million, or attain nirvana before you appreciate who you are. Now is your big moment to fall in love with yourself. Right where you are. As you are. In Arthur Miller’s play After the Fall, a character says, “I dreamed I had a child, and even in the dream I saw that it was my life, and it was an idiot, and I ran away. But it always crept into my lap again, clutched at my clothes. Until I thought, if I could kiss it, whatever in it was my own, perhaps I could sleep. And I bent over the broken face, and it was horrible… but I kissed it. I think that one must finally take one’s life into one’s arms.” We all have traits in ourselves, our relationships, and our lives that we believe are unlovable. But, if we can find beauty and goodness in ourselves and others, even with those traits, we find release that does not come as long as we use judgment to separate ourselves from healing. We are now heading toward the holiday season, which brings unique joys and challenges. Family issues arise and unhealed relationships get in our face. Perhaps you had a loss or a relationship end during the past year. The season conjures countless distractions—shopping, parties, social obligations, travel, lavish food, financial issues, and many other temptations to stay foggy. Yet we also have many opportunities to get sober, to get clear on our values and the kind of relationships and activities that are truly meaningful to us. In my town during the holidays, the police set up roadblocks to check for drunk drivers. Likewise, it might not be a bad idea for each of us to check in with ourselves occasionally to see if we are staying sober, remembering what is real in the face of illusions to the contrary. A Course in Miracles tells us that we have set up the world as a place to hide from ourselves, each other, and love. The Course also tells us that we have many invitations each day to cross the border between illusion and truth, connect, and live in ways befitting the noble, magnificent spiritual beings we are. When André Rieu learned that his beloved trombonist of 22 years had died in the midst of the orchestra’s tour, he cancelled the remainder of the tour—a bold move when many thousands of fans were waiting and millions of dollars were on the table. But André decided it was more important to honor the orchestra’s fallen brother and be there for Ruud’s family. He reminds us that every moment of life is an invitation to get sober. Author’s note: André Rieu and his orchestra will be in the U.S. for a rare tour this Oct and Nov. He is one of the great souls on our planet at this time. He has changed my life, and I heartily recommend you see him. You will love his program and be glad you went! Visit andrerieu.com

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Alan Cohen is the author of A Course in Miracles Made Easy: Mastering the Journey from Fear to Love. Join Alan and friends in Hawaii, Feb 26-March 2, 2018, for a rare retreat, Unplugged. Put your devices aside for a few days, liberate yourself from technology, and reconnect with yourself and your life. For more information about this program, Alan’s books and videos, free daily inspirational quotes, online courses, and weekly radio show, visit www.alancohen.com.

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Tools & Tips

Empower Your Thinking for Change By Dina Hansen Did you ever notice how much time and energy we spend thinking about why we are the way we are, why we don’t have what we want, and ruminating over the past? It makes me wonder...Why aren’t we asking, “What do I want instead?” If we’re not happy with what we have, shouldn’t we be spending more time and energy focusing on the actions that will get us there, and actually put them into motion? When we focus a majority of our time and energy on looking at what we don’t have, our “faults” or our limitations, we tend to get more of the same. Have you ever noticed that? Yet when we change our focus, even just a little bit, we begin to see a shift in our reality. We actually begin to experience the positive changes we’re focused on. And for many of us, when that change occurs it is so unfamiliar that we become fearful of it and run back to where it’s comfortable. And that brings us back to our limiting thoughts. When we give ourselves the opportunity to get comfortable with the slightest shift in our thinking, doors open before us that seemed locked before. Let’s look at a friend of mine as an example. She was constantly telling me that she is sick and tired of feeling fat and tired all the time. She didn’t want to look at another bathing suit or try on clothes in a dressing room ever again! My friend has never noticed that she’s beautiful. Every time we go somewhere men can’t seem to avoid looking at her. She has a natural voluptuous and curvy figure that is very feminine. Yet in her eyes she’s “fat.” So I asked her, “What if you’re naturally curvaceous and not

supposed to be waif-like? What if your body just needs to move more often and all you really need to focus on is eating foods that make you feel lighter and more energized, instead of such restrictive diets all the time?” She thought about it and decided to give it a try because she believed at this point, “What did I have to lose?” I saw her again a few weeks later and she had a new spring in her step and a twinkle in her eyes that I hadn’t seen in years. I asked her if she had a new boyfriend and she said no, but she felt like a new woman. She had been focused on spending more time finding ways to incorporate more exercise in her routine and eat the foods that made her feel light and energized. Best of all she lost five pounds without even trying! Focus on Something Different to Get Something Different If we want something different, like better health, a more satisfying relationship, a more rewarding job or a more fulfilling spiritual life, we need to focus on the life we want to see, hear and feel in our experiences every day. Then we simply do one top-priority activity each day toward creating that reality. This is no secret. It’s not even magic. It’s simply a conscious decision to stop watering negative seeds and giving ourselves permission to put into motion a life that deeply satisfies and fulfills us—one that is almost effortless in its ability to bring about a feeling of being whole, complete and centered every day. I first realized this over 20 years ago when I began having seizures due to my diet and inability to handle stress. Often, I would find myself focused on being depressed, stressed out and completely anxious over “what if” thoughts going through my head. I would start eating sweets initially, then I would avoid food altogether. My breathing would become very short and centered in my chest. I would begin to feel dizzy or light headed, but would shrug it off and begin to eat more sweets. It was a vicious cycle.

When we give ourselves the opportunity to get comfortable with the slightest shift in our thinking, doors open before us that seemed locked before.

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Then I had my wake up call. I began having seizures regularly. I was dismissed from college and examined by neurologists. At that time no one had any answers for the cause of my seizures. I felt trapped in my body, in my brain, in my life. I wanted out. Eventually doctors told me it was “psychosomatic.” This meant that they believed it was all in my head. I got really annoyed and decided to “show them” that it wasn’t in my head! So I made a conscious decision to heal. And I did. I have not had a seizure in years, and my ability to handle stress has so dramatically changed that I am now able to help other women easily handle their stress/anxiety. I simply changed my focus, from FEAR to FUN! I reframed the way I was interpreting the world around me, began eating more empowering foods that were right for me, and found a way to move that felt nourishing and restorative. It was that simple shift in my thinking that made all the difference.

What is it that you truly want to see, hear and feel in your life every day? Changing the quality of our thoughts is part of being Food Empowered because food is more than what we put into our mouths. It’s also how we take in, digest and assimilate our thoughts, emotions, experiences and relationships every moment of the day. When we are Food Empowered, we have the ability trust ourselves to take action in choosing all the foods that truly nourish us physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. We have less stress, anxiety, physical pains or body image challenges and effortlessly flow with the beauty of life.

Where can you make a simple shift in your focus today? What actions are now a priority in creating your new reality?

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Dina Hansen is a Food Empowerment Coach who believes food is more than what we put in our mouths. She leads individuals and intimate groups of women in transforming their relationship with food from one filled with stress and struggle to one filled with confidence, pleasure and satisfaction without restrictions, denial or guilt. Dina is a certified food psychology coach, board certified health counselor, stress management specialist and a board certified doctor of natural health. You can contact her at FoodEmpowermentCoach@gmail.com and read more about her at NaturallyNourishedWoman.com.

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Coaching

Brand Building: How to Develop a Marketing Blueprint for E-commerce

By Lisa Clift Cedrone The Internet is a huge marketplace—with global e-commerce sales expected to reach $4 trillion annually by 20201—and launching a new online store into this sea of opportunity requires planning and focus to reach the correct target customer base and realize long-term success. When charting the course, one of the most important components of any e-commerce business plan is a marketing blueprint. E-commerce is primarily about “defining and designing a site to reach an audience with a common interest or characteristic. Whatever your product or service, define your company’s niche markets that you can penetrate online with specialized offerings,” points out Michael Evans in a Forbes article on e-commerce strategies.2 You also need to understand your branding message. “A brand is the culmination of thoughts, actions and words. A brand reflects a common theme or a universal idea that all people can relate to. A brand moves people. It inspires action,” says Jonathan Greye in an online article at Spiritual Biz Magazine. “A brand can even have the potential to change the world. There’s power in words and images. And with the right intent, you’re branding can shape reality. We see it every day. We’ll choose a product over another because of the branding. It’s about the tone, the feeling and quality you experience that influences you, whether you’re aware of it or not.”5 How should you navigate the process? One way to develop a startup e-commerce marketing plan is to conduct an indepth review of your product and brand that includes how to identify and reach the correct target audience, turn shopping

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cart views into sales, and manage the process. Here’s a simple seven-step process you can use: 3, 4 1. Identify Product and Brand Benefits • Focus on benefits—not features—of the product. • Determine what problems the product solves. • Define the emotional triggers the brand/product generates, because people purchase based on emotion more than logic. 2. Outline the Target Audience • Who will buy this product? • How will you find customers on the Internet? 3. Create Offers/Strategies that Attract the Target Audience • Identify and outline marketing and promotion channels and how they will be utilized. For example, social media, blogging, website design and content, pay-per-click advertising, email, banner ads, affiliate marketing, etc. • Address search engine optimization (SEO). 4. Define Ways to Capture Leads from Prospects and Convert Them to Sales • Develop strategies to collect information, such as offer free content for email newsletter signup, host local events and collect information on attendees, have a giveaway contest for free merchandise or services, etc. • Figure out ways to follow up with customers who have visited your site and entice them to buy, such as discounts for repeat customers, using a cart abandon feature in an e-commerce shopping cart platform, etc.


5. Implement a Marketing Budget • Outline available funding from the business plan to allocate to strategies identified in step 3 above.

es for societies and cultures at a global level. • Those who understand: “My way is not the only way” to achieve spiritual growth and enlightenment. Where: 6. Set Marketing Goals and Monitor Progress • Online spiritual groups, particularly those focused on • Determine attainable marketing goals. For example, inmetaphysics and gnostic teachings. crease sales by 20 percent each quarter over the next year • United States initially, then other English speaking counfour quarters. tries. • Over time, the company needs to identify the strategies • Those at middle to upper income levels; people willing and that are working and those that are not working and make able to spend money to promote what they believe in; coladjustments to the overall marketing plan. lege students with an interest in spiritual teachings. 7. Draft Future Plans • People in geographic regions that have strong spiritual • Based on the marketing goals, identify future marketing communities (Sarasota, FL; Boulder, CO; Asheville, NC; San opportunities that will become feasible as more money Francisco, CA; Portland, OR; Seattle, WA, and more) and/or resources can be allocated. • People interested in searching for resources on holistic health, energy healing modalities, metaphysics, sound healing, science and spirituality, yoga, meditation, prayer, The BhakTee Life Marketing Plan alternative medicine, sustainable living, and more. Let’s look at our ongoing case study for The BhakTee Life through an overview of the marketing plan we created using this 3. Offers/Strategies process: Website and Blog Developing a content-rich website and blog (both articles and video), The BhakTee Life will focus on: 1. Identify Product and Brand Benefits • Increasing brand awareness • As a brand, The BhakTee Life personifies “devotion.” The • Increasing traffic to the website word is timeless and the concept is inherent in all cre• Improving search ranking and SEO ation. People want to live “The BhakTee Life.” The world • Building customer loyalty around us is constantly manifesting through a tension of • Enhancing the brand’s position as an authority opposites, and our devotion or faith creates the founda• Keeping visitors engaged in the website tion for our existence as we find a footing—a place that • Collecting sales leads and inquiries stands for our personal worldview—on Earth. The Bhak• Signing people up for an email newsletter Tee Life does not tell people what to believe. The BhakTee • Following new trends of engagement, such as video blogLife tells people to believe in what is important to them ging on their own unique life journey and to stand firm in de• Connecting with “influencers” on the web, including top votion to the principles and social structures that support bloggers, who can help spread The BhakTee Life message. their contribution to the conscious evolution and sustainAt the same time, avoiding link farming, the process of able future of our world. The BhakTee Life encourages exchanging reciprocal links with websites (often unrelated) people to show strength without picking sides, to replace to increase SEO. subjective views with objective support for the advance• Sharing through Reddit, an American social news aggregament of our planet at both the individual and global tion, web content rating, and discussion website. level. It inspires compassion, commitment, love, personal Video Blog Overview dignity and trust in its wearers. • YouTube currently is the second largest search engine on 2. Target Audience: the Internet, making it one of the most important online Who…. marketing channels available. The BhakTee Life plans to • Men and women on a spiritual journey. use a YouTube channel to create a video blog that can be • Those who are devoted to personal spiritual beliefs on shared on social media and the website. their life journey. Social Media • Those interested in raising the consciousness of the Earth. • Social media will be used to post meaningful content • People who are opening or have opened their heart center and pictures and to conduct low-cost paid advertising and, as a result, are focused on “living in the heart,” which campaigns. The BhakTee Life will use Facebook for posting means ascending to a place where love is a state of connew designs and advertising campaigns. Additionally, sciousness, not an emotion. Pintrest and Instagram will be linked to share more visual • People interested in being of service to others and the images of designs and people engaged in the practice of Earth (stewards of the Earth). bhakti, to evoke an emotional response to the brand. • Those who understand that personal mindfulness can • Integration of social media platforms will be a priority to affect everyone with whom they come into contact during increase efficiency of marketing outreach efforts. daily life. Email Marketing • People interested in resolving conflict and lack of resourc• An email newsletter will be used as an extension of con-

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tent marketing to: o Promote design o Offer discounts and announce sales o Send out relevant articles and video links from the blog • MailChimp will be used as the platform for email newsletters. It’s free at the introductory level and integrates with major e-commerce providers, including Shopify, which The BhakTee Life currently uses for its shopping cart. Additionally, MailChimp has social media integration with Facebook. Public Relations • Use press releases, local business networking and participating in events to help raise awareness about and drive traffic to the online store. The BhakTee Life will send out a news release about the launch of the business and attend local spiritual events wearing tee shirts to promote the launch. 4. Capture Leads from Prospects and Convert Them to Sales • Email newsletter subscription on website homepage. • Signup lists for email newsletter at events. • Personal email lists. • Offer sales and specials via email and Facebook. • Send personal emails to customers asking for feedback and ideas to create loyalty and repeat business. • Ask customers to post pictures of themselves wearing The BhakTee Life’s shirts in acts of bhakti (meditation, prayer, service, etc.) to create loyalty and repeat business. 5. Marketing Budget • The initial marketing budget will be $100 per month. • Time budget: Four hours per week each on blog and social media. 6. Marketing Goals and Progress Monitoring Goals • Increase sales 25 percent each quarter. • After three months, it’s projected that profits will fund the marketing budget and it will grow up to $500 per month by the end of the first year of operation. Progress Monitoring • Weekly meetings in person or on phone to discuss objectives for first six months. 7. Future Plans Join Marketplaces • Sell through Etsy and Amazon. Pay-per-click Search Engine and Banner Ads • Use targeted ads that appear at the top of searches and websites (banners).

o The BhakTee Life would pay a publisher (typically a search engine website or a network of websites) when the ad is clicked. Pay-per-click works with first-tier search engines such as Google AdWords and Microsoft Bing Ads. The BhakTee life would bid on keyword phrases relevant to the

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target market. Example: If the BhakTee life bids $1.00 maximum on the keyword phrase “spiritual apparel” and it makes the highest bid, we most likely will show up first in a search engine as an “ad” listing. If 100 people click on the listing then the search engine or pay-per-click service will charge a maximum of $100.00. The BhakTee life hopes to have a budget for this after the first year of operation. o Put banner ads on content and social media sites that charge a fixed price per click rather than use a bidding system.

• Advertise with monthly paid banner ads on spiritual magazine websites such as:

o Conscious Lifestyle Magazine at http:// www.consciouslifestylemag.com/ o Spirituality & Health Magazine at http:// www.spiritualityhealth.com/ o Soul & Spirit Magazine at http://www.soulandspiritmagazine.com/ o Light of Consciousness at http://light-ofconsciousness.org/ o Aquarius at http://www.aquarius-atlanta. com/

Resources 1. “Worldwide Retail Ecommerce Sales Will Reach $1.915 Trillion This Year,” August 22, 2016, eMarketer, online market report at https:// www.emarketer.com/Article/Worldwide-Retail-EcommerceSales-Will-Reach-1915-Trillion-This-Year/1014369 2. “12 E-Commerce Strategies To Grow Your Business This Year,” by Michael Evans, January 16, 2014, Forbes, online article at http://www.forbes.com/sites/allbusiness/2014/01/16/12e-commerce-strategies-to-grow-your-business-thisyear/#4d7fcbcd6ec9 3. “Marketing Plan Sample—5 Simple Steps to Market Any Business,” YouTube video, Tyson Zahner, YouTube Video at https:// youtu.be/mjrguLMxIf0 4. “Marketing Plan,” Wikipedia, online analysis at https:// en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marketing_plan 5. “What is Spiritual Branding,” by Jonathon Greye, Spiritual Biz Magazine, online article http://www.spiritualbizmagazine. com/what-is-spiritual-branding/

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Lisa Cedrone is the editor of Transformation Magazine and a freelance editor, writer, and graphic designer working primarily in the spiritual and alternative healing communities. Prior to establishing her Sarasota, FL-based freelance business in 2008, Lisa spent 20 years as an editor/editor-in-chief for two of the Top 10 businessto-business publishers in the United States, serving the apparel manufacturing and residential construction/building markets. Her company, DragonFly Nation, offers a wide range of creative services, with an emphasis on cost-effective, turnkey editorial and design projects for both print and web. Contact her at lisa@suncoasttransformation.com or visit DragonFlyNation.com.


Enlightenment being, like a compass, your innermost joy points the way. When you think about the one action you could take right now which would move you towards the most longterm inner joy, you are seeing that course of action that is most connected to your inner being. Because destinations in life are reached in steps or stages, your inner compass can actually point in seemingly different directions on different days. They key is to realize that the one task you can best address at any given moment is the one which is most aligned with your innermost joy.

Inspired Change by Owen K Waters

One constant that you can count on in life is change. Change exists because life is in motion, and motion is one of the three aspects of the original consciousness that underlies all of Creation. Everything in the universe springs from two complementary aspects of consciousness—thought and feeling—set into motion. The existence of motion as one of the fundamental components of Creation guarantees that change is continuous. The point of life is to experience infinite variations of expression of the one underlying consciousness, Infinite Being. Major changes in life are rarely easy, but our very reason for being is to work through changes and experiences in life. Today, changes are being accelerated by our being in the global transformation called “The Shift.” Many would say that today’s changes are intense to the point of becoming chaotic. In physics, chaos is a temporary phase between one natural state of harmony and its transformation into a higher form. The transition phase between the two states becomes very choppy until the higher form is reached.

Today, we are in the storm before the calm. We are so beset by change that it can become hard to discern what changes are important and what changes are just societal noise that has little bearing on the real paths that we need to tread through life. It is here that a sense of inner direction becomes an exquisite asset. Sometimes your own purpose in life seems like an ever-unfolding saga. Like a journey across the seas by boat, your journey through life is made safe and direct by the use of a compass. In this journey, you have a built-in compass that helps you navigate in the most appropriate direction. That compass is your sense of innermost joy. As an expression of your inner

Each step on a journey is different; yet, all steps lead to the final destination. If you are inspired to do one thing today and to do something different tomorrow, it is because those tasks are both steps along the pathway to the desired destination. Trust in the timing of your inner guidance. Its wisdom comes from the part of you which is your connection to the universe and to Infinite Being. Be attentive to your inspiration and the ideas that it brings. Make a note of these ideas as they occur and, in retrospect, you will be amazed as to how insightful they were.

••••••• Owen K Waters is a cofounder of the Spiritual Dynamics Academy, where a where a free spiritual growth newsletter awaits you at: www.SpiritualDynamics.net. He is an international spiritual teacher who has helped hundreds of thousands of spiritual seekers to understand better the nature of their spiritual potential. Owen’s life has been focused upon gaining spiritual insights through extensive research and the development of his inner vision. For the past 12 years, he has written a spiritual metaphysics newsletter which empowers people to discover their own new vistas of inspiration, love and creativity. Spiritual seekers enjoy his writings for their insight and clarity.

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Enlightenment

Finding the Fulcrum By Jo Mooy I read an article recently where Feng Shui was erupted into a global free-for-all where most opinions described as the “art of placement.” If you don’t know are stridently right or left and seldom neutral. Those on anything about Feng Shui, it’s an ancient Chinese sys- the left are perplexed at the ignorance or stupidity of tem of orienting your space in relation to the flow of those on the right. Those on the right are stunned that energy. Without minimizing the system, furniture, pic- the lefties can’t see the “obvious truths” of what’s right tures, plants, color and lighting are adjusted or moved in front of their eyes. around a room (or building) by determining where How do we get through this convoluted energy is flowing through the windows or doors. Hard maze? How can we stand in balance without shatedges are repositioned or softtering our collective sensibilities? ened so balance prevails in the The “art of placement” came to living space. mind. The inner room (the being) I wondered if this “art of needed to have its furniture (beplacement” could be applied to liefs) and pictures (opinions) and A fulcrum is the living life in the chaotic years of even its lighting (spiritual guidthe 21st Century. Why? Because ance) adjusted so that harmony place where an even no matter what the situation is, and balance could be restored. distribution of weight global or local, monumental or Doing that required an extraordiminuscule, vocal or visual, it renary act of Finding the Fulcrum. allows something, or sults in tirades of right vs. wrong, A fulcrum is the place where causing glaring displays of disan even distribution of weight alsomeone, to remain harmony and unbalance. It’s hidlows something, or someone, to eously evident in the digital feeds remain upright and steady without upright and steady on Facebook or Twitter. Or any tipping over. Most of the time it’s without tipping over. social media for that matter. dead center like the centerpiece This daily digital prowl that balances a seesaw. But, when connects us with people across things are unbalanced, the fulcrum the globe that we’ve never met has to move to the right or left. WE and probably won’t. Yet, at the have to, with super-human effort, click of a mouse, we’re entangled in discussions with become the fulcrum. When the demons of Facebook, these people where we judge their views by liking what Twitter and the news media demolish our sense of justhey say or do, or hurling insults if we don’t. The old tice, hold a moment. Recognize the constrictions taktown plaza where citizens met to discuss local affairs ing place within the inner room. Where is the barrage with a degree of civility, (even if you disagreed,) has of tight energy coming from? Halting your beliefs and 38


opinions, or moving them around in your inner space, will allow you to Find the Fulcrum. Spiritual guidance always determines the balance point. The energetic poisons bombarding the room can be removed or suspended. That simple change in perspective will mitigate the contracting flow by allowing you to detach from the need to be right. Realizing the attack is a fear or a cry for help can unleash compassion. Seeing the bigger picture becomes the biggest re-balancer—for this is where the fulcrum is most needed. When something is squeezed too tightly there must be an equal release. That’s the nature of balance. Darkness, or evil, will be met with light. Constriction will be met with wisdom. Criticism will come up against respect. Despair will be met by hope. By witnessing the energies and moving the fulcrum so that our perspective changes, we do the work that moves human consciousness forward. Ultimately, the right and the left are always in balance though we seldom see it. Yet, when either is constricted, it causes the other side of the seesaw to sway and rebalance. That sway is consciousness moving. The message is one of balance regardless of the presentation. Do something! If we see weeds and feel they don’t belong there, pull the weeds. If we see petunias, delight in the colorful petunias. Everyone will see something different. Those with the insight to understand this will continue Finding the Fulcrum. They will become the true artists in restoring the balance.

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Jo Mooy has studied with many spiritual traditions over the past 40 years. The wide diversity of this training allows her to develop spiritual seminars and retreats that explore inspirational concepts, give purpose and guidance to students, and present esoteric teachings in an understandable manner. Along with Patricia Cockerill, she has guided the Women’s Meditation Circle since January 2006 where it has been honored for five years in a row as the “Favorite Meditation” group in Sarasota, FL, by Natural Awakenings Magazine. Teaching and using Sound as a retreat healing practice, Jo was certified as a Sound Healer through Jonathan Goldman’s Sound Healing Association. She writes and publishes a monthly internationally distributed e-newsletter called Spiritual Connections and is a staff writer for Spirit of Maat magazine in Sedona. For more information go to www.starsoundings.com or email jomooy@gmail.com.

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Enlightened Advice

Dear Ms. Spiritual Matters, Next month my oldest daughter is marrying. I fear what her future will be. Not that I am too uncertain. Amanda is marrying a man who is successful in foreign financial markets. They will live both in the U.S. and abroad, splitting their time. My daughter will put aside her career to raise children, the first of which will be born in five months. I fear what this change means for Amanda, and my wife. We will continue working to help our two younger children through college and do not anticipate being present for the birth. The thought of this moves my wife to tears. While the world has become a smaller place, the space between us and our first-born looms immense. How can we embrace this change when we fear its impact? Sincerely, Melvin Dear Melvin, You are like most parents. All mothers and fathers experience both fear and love for their children. Parenting can be full of happy rewards, while tinged with uncertainty of the paths their children take. Each person chooses their own destiny. The parents’ role is to love their children so they have the confidence and tools to grow into the people they want to be. Each child finds his or her own path, led by a variety of influences, including family, home, church, school, friends and the world at large. Yes, parents may fear the choices their children make.

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The pathways children follow may be different than what was open to generations before them. Parents may fear that with which they are not familiar or do not understand. Fear may cause anxiety that breeds resistance. Watch for times when you can join your daughter on the path she and her fiancé have chosen. Let your love embrace her through your support. Map out ways you and your family can demonstrate that your love surrounds your daughter so she can walk confidently down her chosen path.

“Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.”—Anne Frank Sincerely, Ms. Spiritual Matters

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Susan Schoenbeck holds Baccalaureate and Master’s degrees in nursing from the University of Wisconsin-Madison. She is an experienced educator and teaches nursing students at Walla Walla University -- Portland, Oregon campus. She is an oblate of a Benedictine Monastery where she learned centering and contemplative meditation practices. She is author of the book, Zen and the Art of Nursing, Good Grief: Daily Meditations, and NearDeath Experiences: Visits to the Other Side.


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