Change from Transform Magazine

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Section Title Awakening: Breakthrough to Change The Magic Change Agent of 40 Days My Search for the Afterlife Entering the Void Year of the Dragon Angels & Inspirations: New Year 2012 The Way It Is: Be Here Now What You Make of It...

Enlightened Relationships: Intimacy Out Your ego: Rushes vs. Embraces Reflections... The Universal Truth: Change A Commitment to Change Global Neighborhood Create a New You in the New Year Changing Direction in Life Be the Change Holy Mole Cartoon Spiritually Speaking: Tools & Wisdom Practical Spirituality: Keep the Change Ask Dr ZZ Mending a Fractured Soul New Years Resolutions You Can Achieve Positive Change: The Story of My Life A Change in Perspective Candhi’s Top 10 Fundamentals for Change

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cycle” over and over again.

Natalie, Publisher of Transformation Magazine, has worked with thousands of people seeking to live a life of purpose and genuine relationship with their true selves, others, and their world. She is the former Director of a counseling center for at risk teenagers and their parents. She is also a public speaker and leads workshops and retreats on Practical Spirituality, Finding Joy, Discovering Your Purpose, and Enlightened Relationships.

•••••••••••••••••• Breakthrough to Change

Mastering the Change Cycle Nothing in life stands still. Science has shown us that the entire human body—every cell—completely regenerates itself within a span of about seven years. Brain scientists and psychologists have agreed that in each moment our brains are taking in new information and our minds are constantly assimilating this information into our neural network of thoughts, beliefs, and associations.

You cannot have a new experience without it literally changing your mind, and life cannot exist without continuous growth and expansion. You are actually changing as you read these words. You are moving, growing, expanding, and changing. It is no secret that the world around you is constantly changing as well.

We live in a time of unprecedented change, as technology expands our reach and capabilities, as global connectivity transforms our borders and cultures, and as more and more people find themselves feeling the effects of worldwide spiritual evolution.

There is no question: You are changing. The wonderful thing about this “Human Experience” is that you have the power and ability to direct changes in your life. In fact, what you feel, think, say, and believe about your life is constantly putting change into motion, regardless of whether you realize it or not.

You are creating your life as you go along, so you might as well create it intentionally. All that is required is a choice. YOU ARE AT A CHOICE POINT. You can choose to continue on with your life as you currently are living it, letting the external world and your past dictate what you experience, or you can choose to create your life to be everything that you dream.

Understanding the Change Cycle Most people find deliberate change to be a difficult process. Many well-intentioned people have changes they want to make in their lives, but they get stuck repeating the same “change

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1. Discontent—You grow increasingly unhappy and discontent with an area of your life. You “hang in there,” tolerate, ignore, repress, or otherwise deal with the circumstance because it is comfortable and familiar, and you fear change.

2. Breaking Point—Eventually your level of discontent builds high enough that you cannot take it any more. You reach a “breaking point,” either through exhaustion or due to a dramatic event occurring that triggers the break.

3. Declaration—You declare that you will no longer tolerate the undesirable situation and you take the first step toward change, giving you a short-lived sense of hope.

4. Fear—Usually, shortly after your feelings of empowerment you encounter your fear. You become uncomfortable and anxious about the idea of changing. You doubt your decision. Both options look bleak. You feel helpless, empty.

5. Amnesia—The fear of change grows strong enough that it makes the original situation look much better than you originally thought. You perceive the original situation as less anxiety-producing than the change. You’re used to it; it’s comfortable; it’s familiar. Plus, it has become part of your identity, so you resist letting it go. You temporarily forget why you wanted to change it so badly.

6. Backtracking—Most people choose to go back to or stick with the item they wished to change. You essentially talk yourself out of changing.

Inevitably, you soon will find yourself unhappy and discontent once again. Your level of pain will continue to increase until you reach another breaking point, this time even more extreme and more painful. This cycle will continue until one of two things happen: 1. Extreme Pain: You have a breaking point that is severe enough to push through the change cycle that ends in backtracking. For many people, unfortunately, it takes an extreme circumstance to push them to evolve, such as major financial loss, job loss, loss of a loved one, the ending of a relationship, a severe accident, or a nervous breakdown.

You do not need to wait until a flood to move your home away from the shoreline.

2. Self-Honesty: You have the humbling experience of realizing that there’s a part of you that doesn’t really want to change. You are comfortable with your habits, with what you know. You have a lot of fear that holds you back. You have many self-limiting beliefs. You receive some sort of benefit from staying where you are. You are unhappy because you want to be unhappy. You are addicted to the situation. You believe your pain is you; it’s your story. You can see your resistance to letting it go. Only after reaching this level of self-honesty can you truly choose to change.

Can you see how this change cycle has impacted your

life? Are you ready for it to stop? Have you experienced change amnesia before? If so, you know that the more you move toward the changes you want the stronger your fear and resistance will become. Are you ready to swallow the pill of self-honesty, even if it is hard, because you are tired of being dissatisfied? Are you ready to take responsibility for your life and create the life you dream of having? Are you at the point where you will accept nothing less than what you truly want?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then why not make 2012 your year? There are a myriad of resources, in this magazine and online, to help you make resolutions to change for the coming year. As mentioned above, if you are ready to experience lasting transformation, you will need to start with a healthy dose of self-honesty.

Consider the following reasons you may have been allowing yourself to fall victim to this cycle: • You don’t want to change. You don’t really want the thing you think you want. You may be trying to convince yourself that you should change to appease others or conform to what you believe you “should” do. If you don’t want to change, accept it.

• You don’t know what you want. You don’t know what you really want or you’re not allowing yourself to go for what you really want. Try imagining what you would want if time, money, and people did not limit you.

• Your dream isn’t big enough. The reward isn’t big enough. You aren’t excited. Happiness is excitement. Passion is what makes you willing to endure to attain a goal.

What would you do ANYTHING to attain?

• You’re letting your fear be bigger than you. You don’t believe you can do it. You don’t trust yourself. You put everyone else before yourself. You’d rather tolerate severe pain than face temporary discomfort. Are you really willing to settle?

• You are attached to your problem. Your ego and identity are wrapped up in your problem, and you fear that if you let go of your problem you’ll have nothing to talk about. Who would you be? Would it be better?

• You’re benefiting from your problem. The benefit you’re receiving from NOT changing is bigger than your perceived benefit from changing. It gives you an excuse and something to talk about. It allows you to hide deeper issues from yourself and others. What are you holding onto? How does it benefit you to NOT change?

Failure no longer has to be an option. Neither does doing nothing and staying stuck where you are. Before you make another New Year’s resolution you probably won’t keep, take some time in self reflection and be brutally honest with yourself.

Is your desire for more, for fulfillment, for happiness finally strong enough that you are willing to encounter the obstacles and endure the fear? If so, congratulations, you will succeed—you are ready to transform!

Join me at the Awaken Your Spiritual Connection Workshop on January 28 AND the Enlightened Relationship Workshop on February 18! (See ads page 2 and 3.)

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Change • • • • • • • •

By Lisa Clift

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Change. The act of transforming our lives is never an easy endeavor. Whether it’s overcoming addiction, achieving weight loss, altering beliefs, or switching careers, one thing is certain in every case: It’s difficult and goals often are unachievable if not brought into the open, worked on daily, and addressed at multiple levels of consciousness.

In the spirit of the New Year and its prompting to undertake resolutions, I am sharing my own personal transformation process, which was developed and tested—with great success—by a group of fellow spiritual practitioners in my hometown of Sarasota. Nicknamed Trans40 by the participants, it is based on the magical number 40. Going forward into the landmark year of 2012, I hope you can embrace this simple strategy to mark milestones in your own personal evolution as we enter into a new golden age of consciousness.

The Story Behind Trans40 My whole perspective on life changed profoundly in the 12th month of my 40th year following a terrible car accident; my survival involved what I truly believe was an act of divine intervention. Even stranger: At 27 I had a surreal conversation with “someone” (a spiritual guide, although I didn’t know it at the time) in my head, and I was told everything would transform in my life when I reached 40. Forty, 40, 40. The number was always in the forefront or background of my mind. Then in the spring of 2009, I was introduced to the ancient Hawaiian Ho oponopono forgiveness prayer and instructed that it had to be done for 40 days UNINTERRUPTED for it to work. I started to connect the dots, and I began to understand the significance of 40.

In measuring time as we know it, the interval of 40 is a transformer and a change agent. I did some numerology research and the results were intriguing: • Your conscious mind can process 40 environmental stimuli per second.

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Forty is a secondary number that means completeness.

Forty is a mystical number signifying a trial/testing/transition period for spiritual growth.

Negative 40 is the temperature at which the Fahrenheit and Celsius scales correspond (-40°F = -40°C).

It recently was found that neural activity begins at 40 days after conception.

According to the Talmud, 40 days after a child is conceived the soul enters the body. Hence, 40 is a symbol of birth, rebirth, and change.

According to the ancient Egyptians, 40 is the number of days that it takes for the soul to be delivered from the body after death.

There are 120 different variations of the number 40 in the Bible.

Moses was with God for 40 days and nights on Mount Sinai receiving the 10 commandments.

In Hinduism, many popular religious prayers consist of 40 shlokas or dohas (stanzas).

In Muslim cultures the dead typically are mourned for 40 days.

The next piece of the puzzle came when I was told that Siddha Yoga guru Gurumayi Chidvilasananda’s message for 2009 was to chant Om for 9 minutes or, she added, 29 minutes per day.

Twenty-nine minutes is almost exactly two percent of the day, and I thought of all the “two percent” rules I had heard over the years.

I then realized that connecting 40 days and two percent of each day was a powerful transformation formula, so I developed a very simple six-step process that includes spending at least 30 minutes a day (rounding up) for 40 days uninterrupted working on an intention for positive life change and/or achieving goals.

The Trans40 Process 1. Day 1: Set an intention or goal by writing it down and verbalizing it. It must be stated simply, and it must be something that you absolutely believe is possible. Your belief system is what controls your reality, so you must work incrementally if you have a long-term intention or goal that you don’t truly believe is possible in your heart at the present time.

2. Day 1: Create a mandala as your personal vision board for the 40-day journey to engage the right side of your brain in this process. This is an intuitive spiritual drawing (usually created in a circle) that is done following a meditation. You can’t do it wrong; it can be geometric or completely abstract.

Draw on black paper with colored pencils, and you can use a ruler and compass if desired. Keep it in a visible spot during the 40 days for creative inspiration.

3. Days 1-40: Work on your intention for 40 days without interruption. You cannot miss a day. If you do stop for any reason you have to start over at day 1.

4. Days 1-40: Spend at least 2 percent of your day— 30 minutes—at a minimum working on an activity related to your intention (Your first day can encompass the mandala and intention/goal if the process lasts 30 minutes or more). You have to put in the time. What is not defined is a set regimen of activi-

ties. Do whatever works each day, whenever you want to do it, and it can change from day to day. All 30 minutes do not have to happen at the same time, but it would be advisable to work in at least 15 minute increments to maintain focus. The idea is to have total flexibility within the activities you do around the intention to make it doable. Everyone is different, and you need to come up with a plan that works for you and your schedule.

Here is a list of possible activities that I personally use: • Meditating and Praying.

• Journaling.

• Talking with others who can help you achieve your goal or provide positive reinforcement. Find a cheerleader!

• Reading books related to what you want to learn or do.

• Taking a class related to your objective.

• Writing and saying affirmations about your intention.

• Creating a traditional vision board. This includes images and words that reflect your goals.

5. Days 1-40: Practice the forgiveness prayer for 40 days. It is best to say it out loud. As people, I believe our biggest block to success is the fact that we have not forgiven ourselves or someone else for what we perceive as life’s problems and injustices. Pick the person (which may be yourself) who you believe has blocked you the most from achieving your goals because of resentment, anger, jealousy, or other negative

feelings—and forgive him or her. Remember it may be you that you need to forgive.

Ho’oponopono 40-Day Forgiveness Prayer Name, I am praying to you.

Forgive me Name for all I have ever done to you.

Thank you Name for all you have ever done for me.

I bless you, I love you, and I release you to your highest good.

Imagine that your soul is looking at you and say: Your Own Name, I forgive you and I love you.

6. Days 1-40 and after: Commit to meet with a cheerleader, share your intention with others, or to posting your progress on our blog at www.trans40.com during and after the 40 days are up to discuss your experiences. Knowing that you have made a commitment to share your experiences will be a big push to stick with the program!

You are not much more than a month away from a major transformation. Take the challenge and find the magic in 40 days!

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Lisa Clift is a writer, editor, and former editor-in-chief based in Sarasosta, FL. An active member of the spiritual community in Sarasota, she is a meditation facilitator and is trained in Theta Healing™ and Quantum Healing. chowruben@yahoo.com For more information, visit www.trans40.com.

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Overcoming Loss

By Jeff Froeschle On a warm, sunny Friday afternoon in November, 2004, I was in Tampa taking a witness deposition for a case I was defending. I did not understand it at the time, but life as I knew it was about to end.

At that same time, my daughter Katie, a property claims adjuster for a Florida insurance company, was on assignment in North Tampa. Florida was struck by four hurricanes in a few months that year. No one was sent with her, and she did not return home. By the next morning we knew something was terribly wrong. With the help of friends, we began searching for her and were able to locate her car by late afternoon. The police arrived at the scene and began investigating, and near midnight they found her. For reasons we don’t know to this day, the tenant at that house murdered my daughter and dumped her beautiful, 25-year-old body in the river behind the residence.

The following days were filled with pain, horror, love, hate, tears, and sorrow—all intense beyond words.

After Katie’s services, when family left and friends returned to work, the enormity of my loss overwhelmed me. There are no words adequate to describe how I felt at the time. The world had stopped. I barely knew where I was. I was fearful, anxious, depressed, and filled with rage. I couldn’t concentrate on anything. I didn’t know if the way I felt was normal or if I was losing my mind.

I sought help from a friend who is a psychologist. He told me that my feelings were normal, and that I needed assistance from a bereavement specialist. He recommended The Life Center of the Suncoast, Inc., a nonprofit organization that provides counseling to persons suffering from the death of a loved one—especially those who have lost someone through a violent crime.

Before losing Katie, my spiritual life was pretty much nonexistent.

As an attorney, I saw everything logically; there are rules to the world, and what wasn’t governed by rules wasn’t important. I had no time for intuition, spirituality, the afterlife—or anything like it. However, after losing Katie all of that changed.

Because she suffered a sudden, unexpected death I did not have a chance to say goodbye, to see her one last time.

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As a result, nothing was more important than trying to find out whether I might ever have contact with Katie again—in this world or in an afterlife.

I began searching for answers to rudimentary questions, such as: Do we have souls? If we do, can our souls be trapped in the location of a violent, traumatic death? I was very worried that Katie’s soul, if it existed, would be ensnared at that horrible house where her life was taken. I began reading books written by psychics, mediums, and paranormals. My search for answers led to new questions, such as: Is there a plane of existence we cannot see where Spirits, Angels, God—or Katie—reside? If there is such a plane of existence, is there a way to contact it?

I came across a book that had been given to me at the time of Katie’s passing discussing near death experiences, or NDEs, of children. I had heard of NDEs, but prior to Katie’s passing I paid no attention to the notion. The book referenced another ground-breaking book by Dr. Raymond Moody, Life After Life, first published in 1975. In it, Dr. Moody recounted incidents related to him where persons were resuscitated after having experienced clinical physical death and survived. People from different walks of life told of remarkably similar experiences of encountering another dimension of reality. He coined the phrase “near death experience,” as shorthand for the phenomenon.

I read more about Dr. Moody and found that he had excellent professional credentials, including a Ph.D. in philosophy and an MD in psychiatry. This comforted me as I embarked on a quest for the afterlife.

I was intrigued: If such a large number of disparate persons had reported similar experiences, there must be something to the reports. To me, it meant that maybe Katie was safe in another plane of existence. Maybe she had gone through the tunnel of light and had encountered previously departed loved ones. Maybe she was safe—and maybe I would be able to see her again.

In another book by Dr. Moody, titled Reunions: Visionary Encounters with Departed Loved Ones, he talked about researching ancient Greek writings regarding living people making contact with departed loved ones. The ancient Greeks had sites where a person, after a period of preparation, would go to a room, gaze on a pool, and have an actual encounter with a departed loved one. He went to Greece and visited the ruins of one of the sites. After considerable research of the texts, Dr. Moody decided to construct a room where he would attempt to replicate

the Greek experience, and he offered select people the opportunity to try the experience. Amazingly, a significant number of the participants successfully made contact with their departed loved one—as if he or she was in the room with them.

I nearly jumped out of my seat in excitement when I read this! I contacted Dr. Moody and asked if he would allow me to try using his room. He was no longer conducting this research but, because of my loss, he agreed. In December 2010, I went to Dr. Moody’s home. We talked about Katie and losing her, and my efforts to try to find answers to all of my questions. Here was a person who, to the best of my knowledge, had studied the very questions I had been asking better than anyone else in the world.

My day with Dr. Moody was powerful. Not only was he incredibly knowledgeable, he also was extremely engaging in discussing all aspects of his work and his experience with the afterlife.

I then went to the gazing room attempting an encounter with Katie. When I returned to talk with Dr. Moody, I told him I had not succeeded. He could see my disappointment. He told me that although many people had been successful, not everyone who used the room had an encounter. At that time, he looked me straight in the eye and said: “I know this isn’t what you had hoped for when you came here, but I will tell you, you will see Katie again!” There was no hesitation, no equivocation, no doubt in his voice.

I returned home disappointed but encouraged. I wasn’t sure what had happened, but I knew something very significant had transpired. Although I couldn’t put words to it, or explain why, I was profoundly reassured by my meeting with Dr. Moody.

I continue to read and seek answers to my questions, and work on finding a way to connect with Katie through our plane of existence. Dr. Moody’s research may not be the final answer to the question of whether or not an afterlife exists, but he has convinced me to keep searching for my daughter’s soul in another realm.

My wish for the New Year is that everyone who has lost a loved one will have the hope and courage to seek connections beyond our realm to communicate with them so we may find more peace and comfort in our hearts during our time on earth.

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Jeff Froeschle lives in Tierra Verde, Florida. Mr. Froeschle is President and member of the Board of Directors of the Katie Froeschle Foundation which was formed by family and friends of Katie in her memory.

He is also a member of the Board of Directors of the Life Center of the Suncoast. He practices law for a St. Petersburg law firm.

Change

entering the void

By Annalene Hart What exactly is the void? It can be a chaotic time of discontent, confusion, ennui, and self-doubt when not that much makes sense in your world. This can be a wake-up call to retreat, self-reflect, and review the direction of your life and to generally take stock. The crisis can be precipitated by a job loss, the death of a loved one or a family pet, a divorce, an ending, or a general dissatisfaction with the status quo. This could be a clarion call to stop all frenetic activity and acknowledge a compulsion for change beckoning from within.

This passage through the void has also been referred to as “the dark night of the soul,” where very deep and brooding soul searching occurs, often leading to the gamut of emotions from anxiety and despair to blissful and transcendent mystical experiences. During this phase of self- evolution those nagging questions can no longer be “avoided,” such as: “Why am I not

content with…?”, “What am I not seeing?”, “Why do I feel lost and disoriented?” and so forth.

In Caroline Myss’ book “Anatomy of the Spirit: The Seven Stages of Power and Healing,” she succinctly describes this process when she states: “The absence of meaning, the loss of self-identity and the need for devotion are the three strongest symptoms indicating a person has entered into the “dark night”…he or she realizes that the cause of the crisis is within.

The inadequacy of the external components of the person’s life is a consequence of the spiritual crisis, not the cause.”

When our soul is calling us to be open to change, there is a need to embrace this chaos, to leap with faith and trust, believing that we will land on our feet with the realization that staying where we are is more painful than moving on to something better and soul filling! Anais Nin sums up the meaning of the void beautifully with these words: “…and then the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

This gestation period takes patience prior to rebirth; we cannot stay stuck forever, we must evolve. If you can accept the void as a natural process of sacred initiation and metamorphosis, then you will have a much smoother ride through this unavoidable spiritual growth passage.

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Annalene Hart is a Life Mastery and Creativity Coach. She facilitates self-expression classes for teens and adults. She also creates whimsical soul portraits by commission. Visit: http://lightharts. weebly.com or call 941-966-6190.

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Chinese New Year

“Gong Xi Fa Cai”!

By Brenda Renee On January 23rd, colorful paper lanterns, music, and long, dancing dragons will decorate the streets of Asian-based communities, as red, red, and more red will explosively and passionately ring in the Chinese New Year of the Dragon! People will joyfully greet each other with “Gong Xi Fa Cai,” meaning: “Congratulations and be prosperous!”

Chinese New Year marks the death of winter and the rebirth of spring, which is why “congratulations” are offered for the survival through winter. This spring festival is based on the Chinese calendar. It differs from the Gregorian calendar because it is calculated on lunar/ solar movements. Each year, the Chinese New Year falls on the 2nd new moon after the winter solstice, (December 21 or 22nd). Thus, the Chinese year, which is governed by the Chinese astrological symbol of the dragon, begins on January 23, 2012, and ends on February 10, 2013.

Grandeur. Wealth. Luck. Opulence. Passion.

These are some of the words used to describe Dragon years. As the Dragon is the most auspicious Chinese astrology sign, families strive to give birth to children born under this sign. Anything undertaken in the dragon year is imbued with the blessings of the gods and given every chance to flourish and succeed!

Being the most important Asian holiday, Chinese New Year involves special preparations before the festivities begin. Homes are cleaned, paying special attention to sweeping out the old and making room for the new. This is a time to release unnecessary clutter! People remove trash and discarded objects through the back door during cleaning. After cleaning is complete, the space in homes is cleared by smoking with a sage bundle to remove negative, stuck Chi’ (life force energy). People also ring bells after the clearing to invite positive Chi’ into the space, and they strive to pay all debts and settle any lingering quarrels. Decorate the home with fresh flowers, and if they bloom on New Year’s the year will be blessed with good luck!

Decorations for the New Year are symbolic of wealth, health, love, fertility, and good luck. Many of the symbols are red or gold because red draws energy, wealth, and luck, while gold represents wealth. If you are ready to join in the festivities, hang paper lanterns from the ceiling and stick vertical red paper strips, Chun Lian, to the front door. These paper products are inscribed with well wishes. In view of the main entrance, hang a fat, laughing Buddha

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who will be happy to greet guests.

Facing the front door, place a three-legged frog to invite wealth into the home. Also, the gods Fuk, Luk, and Sau may be displayed to draw wealth, health, and longevity. In honor of the dragon new year, don’t forget to decorate with this magical beast, too!

On the eve before New Year’s, gather together with friends and family to perform a release ceremony. Guests will write intentions for releasing ideas, patterns, and habits that no longer serve. Burn these papers. Offer words of appreciation to Divine, family, friends, and yourself. Carry money in your pockets through to the New Year. Just before midnight, open windows and doors to release the old Chi’. At midnight, throw money over the threshold to represent incoming wealth.

Only positive vibrations are allowed on New Year’s Day! No quarreling and no words of death or illness. Even the number four is avoided, as it sounds like the word death. Do not wash your hair or sweep your house. Celebrate through joyful activities, including making love!

Gift friends and relatives with Chinese red envelopes stuffed with fresh, crisp $1 bills. Also, share tangerines and oranges to bless others with good health and longevity. Foods may include noodles that are uncut for longevity, red dishes for good luck, whole fish for prosperity, seeds for fertility, whole chicken for a happy marriage, and sticky Cake for a sweet and abundant life (recipe below).

On Chinese New Year, create harmonious atmospheres, engage in joyful activities, and feast on good foods. You will be setting the tone for a wonderful new year! “Gong Xi Fa Cai!”

Ni Gao, Sticky Cake Recipe 3 1/4 cups (1,400 gram bag) glutinous rice flour 2/3 cup brown sugar or 2 slabs (about 5 ounces) Chinese brown candy (pian tang in Mandarin; peen tong in Cantonese) 7 ounces boiling water 1/2 cup Chinese dates, softened in water, cut in half, pits removed, or 1/2 cup other dried fruit or 1/4 cup dates and 1/4 cup nuts 1 tablespoon milk Water, as needed 1 tablespoon white sesame seeds 1 tablespoon vegetable oil or nonstick cooking spray (Check your local Asian market for ingredients) Directions: 1. Prepare a wok for steaming.

2. In a bowl, mix the boiling water and the sugar, stirring to dissolve. (If using peen tong, break the candy into several pieces, so that it will dissolve more easily in the boiling water). Cool. Soak the Chinese dates in hot water for at least 30 minutes to soften. (You can also soften them quickly by placing them in a bowl with water and microwaving on high heat for 30 seconds). Cut the dates in half and remove the pits.

3. Place the glutinous rice flour in a large bowl. Make a well in the middle and stir in the sugar and water mixture. Add the milk and begin shaping the dough. Add 1 tablespoon of water to the dough at a time, until you have smooth dough with a satiny texture. Incorporate 1/2 to 3/4 of the Chinese dates, nuts, or other dried fruit as you are adding water and working with the dough.

4. Grease a 7-inch square cake pan with vegetable oil or a nonstick cooking spray. Place the dough in the cake pan and spread it out to the edges. Decorate with the remaining dates, lightly pushing them into the dough. Sprinkle the sesame seeds on top.

5. Steam the cake over medium-high to high heat for 45 minutes, or until the edges of the cake pull away from the pan. Remove the cake from the heat and cool.

6. Use a knife to loosen the edges and then remove the cake. Wrap in wax paper and refrigerate overnight.

7. To serve: Cut the cake into quarters, and then into thin slices 2 to 3 inches long and 1/4-inchwide. You can serve the cake as is, or reheat it in the microwave (the amount of time will depend on the size and power of your microwave.) Start with 10 seconds and then microwave an extra 5 seconds if needed, or resteam it for 4 to 5 minutes.

You can also pan-fry the cake, dipping the cake slices in an egg wash before frying. Use a small amount of oil so that the cake will not taste oily. Heat the oil on medium-high to high heat, then turn the heat down to medium and brown the cake slices briefly on both sides. (Recipe courtesy of Rhonda Parkinson 2001)

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Brenda Renee’ holds Feng Shui certification through the Western School of Feng Shui, and she is currently completing her Master’s degree in Parapsychic Sciences through AIHT. Blending her extensive metaphysical knowledge in her consultation practice, Brenda is passionate in her quest of teaching others how to manifest their dreams. For more information, visit www.themysticalempress.com.

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Emily Rivera Andrews is a certified Angel Healing Practitioner, Reiki Practitioner, and an Angel Manifesting Master Practitioner. Emily shares techniques that have helped her become a Gifted Intuitive, Intuitive Channeler, Healer, Manifester, and Angel Communicator. To ask your Angels a question, attend one of Emily’s local events or email emily@LivingtoInspire.com

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HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012 The long anticipated year of 2012 is upon us. So many have eagerly welcomed this new year with the hope of a new awakening, new beginnings, and/or a new transition into spirituality. There are also those that anxiously dreaded this auspicious year. I call it auspicious, because regardless of the various viewpoints, it is still up to us as individuals to choose what to expect and align to during this time. To me personally it represents a special moment in time that offers the same positive opportunities, hope, and excitement that can be part of any given moment. So, I choose to see 2012 as an auspicious one. As I sat to connect to the message for this month, they reminded me that as individuals we have to consciously choose to align with the viewpoints that honor us the most. Within that choice we can more easily create a life that is more invigorating to our spirit.

Within our soul/spirit resides an Innate wisdom that is inspired by the Divine.

It’s a wisdom that can accurately see past the current circumstances within our lives and society and into the truth of all these experiences, without judgment.

It recognizes that there is an underlying harmony within all, an underlying harmony that is in resonance with Divine order and Divine timing. Every experience, emotion, thought, and life circumstance resides within a duality. Most of us can label and compare the extremes within these dualities as positive vs negative, depending on our desires, beliefs, and/or needs. It’s important to recognize that even if one person labels something positive, it doesn’t mean the same judgment would be placed by another—meaning that labels within dualities are not rigid nor unchangeable. The importance lies in what we choose within the dualities and what we are doing to align to the one that is most honorable. What expectations, circumstances, thoughts, people, and/or things within your current projection of 2012 are favoring to you? It is important to connect to the wisdom that resides within your soul. Contemplate on the Truths that inspire you so

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that you can more consciously and actively take steps that align you to more favorable outcomes in this coming year.

The channeled message shared for this month may seem a little complex for some. I have included it below, but I recommend that you read and connect to its intentions during a time of optimal concentration. If it seems hard to understand, know that you will reap the benefits of the message contained on a deeper soul level. In essence, it’s a call to each individual and the collective to take notice. Notice the doubts and fears that are plaguing some of us and how they can inhibit a flow of blessings in our reality—not because it’s not deserving, but because it becomes challenging to notice blessings that our minds and emotions are not open enough to receiving and/or noticing. Begin this year with an outlook that honors the Divine’s presence in your life. A presence that is love, unconditional, and on all levels inspiring. Be open to positive and desirable expectations, while residing in a place of hope and patience. As mentioned many times before, miracles occur within every moment, and within those moments circumstances can change for the better, regardless of how good or bad you feel they are. May love, blessings, joy, clarity, and wisdom be part of this auspicious year for you an your loved ones.

Message: Disconnection has penetrated the collective in insurmountable ways. The desires that drive the points of interests are clouded and driven by mostly doubt and fear. A projection of failure and disappointment consume some minds. We desire to redirect and re-pattern the direction of these illusions, to those that are more invigorating and honoring to your soul. Choose the thoughts that represent a more direct alignment to the source of all love. An alignment that speaks and resonates only with truths that are sustained by your soul.

Dichotomy is a perpetuation symbolizing disharmony and misalignment with eternal truths. To an extent all is in harmony, even those things that appear to be complete opposites.

The understanding of this lies in the awareness that all derives from the spirit of God/Divine. All is infused with the light of the Divine. It is by choice of the organism to what extent the light will be guided and how it will be broadcasting. The presence of fear masks the awareness of this light. It constricts its full expression and manifestation. It blinds it from it’s potential. It retains the full expression of what could be fully witnessed in its liberation and expansion. But in the case that such was to occur, in which the light is not fully guiding, then the spirit of the organism fails to reach its full expression, creating a level of disgust and apprehension. Near death appearing, the unique organism can choose to alleviate the dichotomies that weren’t really there in the first place, since it can more easily enter a state of detachment that awakens it to see the truth more fully. The choice lies within, since the organism determines what to witness and allow in regards to the dichotomies that it will reside in. Sincere introspection of its power to choose can induce a sense of clarity that transcends multiple levels of reality.

Join me for “Connecting to the Angels” at the Awaken Your Spiritual Connection Workshop on January 28! (See ad page 2.)

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The Way It Is Bliss) and become the superhero that can solve any problem and conquer any limitation. I may not fly off and fight bad guys, but I can surely get the instant inspiration I need or help from BOB to move along. Remember, thoughts become things.

You don’t believe SHAZAM!? OK, then it won’t work for you. What do you think will?

Gregg Sanderson has a rare view of the metaphysical universe. He traveled the road from Christian Science through Judaism, Agnosticism, Atheism, Living Love, Psychic Development, Spiritualism, Teaching of the Inner Christ, all the way to the International Centers for Spiritual Living where he is a licensed practitioner. He is the author of What Ever Happened To Happily Ever After? and Split Happens – Easing the Pain of Divorce. Gregg’s latest venture is Spirit With A Smile — The Way It Is (Unless It’s Something Else). Email to gregg@spiritwithasmile.com.

•••••••••••••••••• BE HERE NOW

That’s the advice we’re always given when change is upon us, but what the heck does that really mean? It’s like, “Develop your personality,” an almost useless phrase by itself.

Often we dwell upon times in the past when we were happier (sadder), more (less) successful, or with (without) a particular person. Circumstances change, but our minds remain back there, and since that’s where our thoughts are, that’s what we create …again.

That’s right—same old, same old.

To “be here now” means to keep your consciousness on the present moment.

Let the past be a memory, but no longer your driving force. Yet, it’s easy to lapse back into guilt or worry and distort your creative power.

When I find myself caught up in such situations, I have a simple method that works for me. I use SHAZAM. Here’s how: Think of something from your past you feel bad about.

• Look around you right now.

• Quick! Find something to appreciate.

• SHAZAM! You’re in the moment.

Think of something in the future you’re worried about.

• Look around you right now.

• Quick! Find something to appreciate.

• SHAZAM! You’re in the moment.

Incidentally, the word SHAZAM! is the magic word that transforms an ordinary person into a superhero. When little Billy Batson spoke it in the comic book, a bolt of lightning transformed him into the mighty Captain Marvel. I find it a convenient metaphor.

Whenever I’m faced with a problem or obstacle, I can say SHAZAM! Quick as lightning I connect with BOB (Being of

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Don’t Worry About Worrying Worry is the direct opposite of justassoonas (See last month’s column), only we anticipate disaster instead of delight.

The difference is that fear is usually stronger than hope, and BOB is standing by waiting to bop us with a YES! Remember Biblical Job: “That which I have feared the most has come upon me.”

Some people I know are “professional worriers.” They constantly worry about some awful thing about to happen to them, and it often does.

I worked in an office once with one such person. Her life was a move from one disaster to another. Her car got broken into, as did her house at a different time. When she tried to do anything at all, she was so worried about making a mistake that it took her twice as long—and still the results were amazingly inept. One time when most of the people were in a company meeting, she came into my office upset that nobody was there.

She thought it was a bomb scare.

The poor thing didn’t work there very long, but we often remarked about what a sad example she was of the truth of the statement, “Thoughts become things.” It’s as if she came with her own personal rain cloud.

Another individual I know often worries so about his plans working out perfectly that he covers all the bases in triplicate…and still runs into extraordinary difficulty as he moves through his drama.

The key is to trust. BOB doesn’t want to create disaster for anyone. People do that well enough on their own. On the contrary, BOB wants to have fun through us, and It always sets us up to win.

Remember, BOB’s only emotion is Love, and part of the game is to express the Love of BOB. Naturally, It will always arrange things to honor our requests in the best possible way.

The problem is people don’t know this, so they regularly choose to lose as they try to arrange things without trusting BOB. BOB has motive, means, and opportunity. It has the motive to experience fun and winning. Since everything is made out of BOB and It has the power to manipulate everything, It naturally has the means, and since it’s always now, It always has the opportunity. So what’s not to trust?

SHAZAM!

Let go and let BOB.

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Choice ing the novel of your world. What will you write?

The universe is brimming with infinite parallel realities. All events and experiences that have ever existed, do exist, will exist, or could exist, already exist. In one reality, the 2012 earth will be blown to smithereens. In another, the planet will be transfigured to heaven. In another, it will be the same ole’ same ole.

A dozen different movies are playing under one roof of the multiplex of life, and you sit in the theater that matches the ticket you paid for.

By Alan Cohen 2012 is here. Finally. After many years of anticipation, sensationalism, foreboding, titillation, and wild prophecies, we’ve reached the end of the Mayan calendar. The era of momentous astrological configurations. World upheaval. Apocalyptic destruction.

Dissolution of the world as we know it. Mass landing of UFOs. The spiritual ascension of humanity. The dawn of a new age. And on and on and on. . .

Prophets, authors, soothsayers, shamans, and Hollywood have had a field day predicting, explaining, and dramatizing the events to come.

Will this year be a turning point in human history? Massive suffering leading to spiritual resurrection? The annihilation of evil and the restoration of virtue? The second coming of Christ? A redux of the Y2K dud? Just another year?

I have a prediction in which I am quite confident: 2012 will be what you make of it.

Your whole life is what you make of it, and 2012 is no exception. Your thoughts, feelings, attitude, words, and actions will determine your experience and the events you attract. What you want and expect to happen will happen. If you are immersed in the Hollywood terror version of 2012, watch out. If you value the “upliftment” of humanity, transformation will ensue. If you expect just another year, so it will be. Your pen is scrib-

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In one room a love story is unfolding. In another, social and political drama keeps viewers on the edge of their seats. In another, bombs are exploding and the walls are shaking. One theater, many shows.

Just as in the multiplex, you are free to exit one theater and enter another.

If you’re tired of the terrorist movie, you can watch a romance instead. If you’ve had it with drama, you can pick a comedy. If the horror movie gets too dark, try a kid’s feature. The theater manager will tell you that you have to stay where you have been sitting, but you can move if you want. Every reality is self-reinforcing, insisting that you keep playing by the rules it dictates. But the rules change from reality to reality. If you have the guts to change theaters, everything changes with you. A Course in Miracles reminds us, “I am under no laws but God’s.”

The Course offers a profound prophecy about how the world will end.

“The world will end in an illusion, as it began. Yet will its ending be an illusion of mercy. The illusion of forgiveness, complete, excluding no one, limitless in gentleness, will cover it, hiding all evil, concealing all sin and ending guilt forever. . . The world will end in joy, because it is a place of sorrow. . . The world will end in peace, because it is a place of war. . .

The world will end in laughter, because it is a place of tears.”

Werner Erhard noted that the

world coming to an end would be the best thing that could happen, because the world as we know it has not been working very well. The institutions and systems to which we have looked for security are not serving their purpose, and need to be replaced by systems that actually help people.

But we have to let go of what is not working before we can step into what would work better.

We have to trust the process of transformation. Two caterpillars sat on the ground looking up at a butterfly flittering above the trees. “You’ll never get me up in one of those things,” one caterpillar remarked to the other.

The irony, of course, is that the caterpillar already is one of those things. While you and I envision a world transformed, we may be so steeped in the identity of who we have been and the “reality” of how things have been that the idea of living a better life in a new world may seem fantastic, even ludicrous or frightening. Yet the butterfly is so much freer than

Joeel A. Rivera, M.Ed., Ph.D. (ABD) holds a Master’s Degree in Counseling and is currently completing his dissertation for his Ph.D. in Psychology. Joeel’s extensive career as a relationship coach includes certifications in P.R.E.P, a 30-year research-based program for couples, Nurturing Father’s curriculum, and Parenting 21st Century. Contact Joeel at joeel@transformationservices.org

••••••••••••••••••

What Can We Learn About Intimacy from Horses?

A horse, you may ask? Well, we will get to that later...

Many people will make resolutions for their relationships this time of year, such as improving intimacy. If you want to improve your intimacy—or make any other changes—you must first have a clear idea of what needs improvement and how it can be accomplished, and then make a list of action steps to take toward the desired goal. The next step? Take action.

There are many different aspects of intimacy in a relationship, but this article will focus on physical intimacy. Physical intimacy is much more than just a sexual relationship with your partner. Sexuality is important in any relationship because it allows you to connect to your partner at a very deep emotional, physical, and spiritual level. However, true intimacy and sexual-

the caterpillar that any caterpillar in his right mind would be exhilarated to step into the “dreamliner.”

2012 will be the year of just such a transformation if we choose to make it so. Leave the hoo-ha to Hollywood and create the year you would have. Perhaps the end of the Mayan calendar signals that we will move beyond the limits of time as we have known it, and dwell in a consciousness free of time and space. Perhaps the changes we experience in and around us are the runway on which we take off to soar through skies we once only looked up at, but are now ready to explore.

All end times lead to beginning times. Now there’s a prophecy we can live with.

••••••••••••••••••

Alan Cohen is the author of many popular inspirational books, including the just-released Enough Already: The Power of Radical Contentment. Join him for his Personal Mentorship Program beginning January 4, 2012, and on his weekly Hay House Radio show, Get Real. For more information about Alan’s books, programs, or his free daily inspirational quotes via e-mail, visit www.alancohen. com, e-mail info@alancohen.com, or phone 1-808-572-0001.

ity has been so distorted in our society that many people have learned to separate the spiritual and emotional aspects from the physical. There is much more to physical intimacy—and what leads to sexuality intimacy—than just the physical act.

It is no secret that we have an innate need to connect to others at a physical level. Media and marketing companies spend billions of dollars creating advertisements that sell to us based on that need. Like they say, “sex sells.” However, what the media sells is not true physical intimacy. Instead, it sells a false image of gratification through a very narrow source—physical appearance and sex. It’s not about sex, it’s about connection.

Physical touch and connection is vitally important for our overall well being.

An infant’s body goes through drastic, painful changes, to the extent that their bodies can grow up to half an inch in one night. When a child is being held by the parent or caregiver, the physical touch is doing much more than just comforting the child. Physical contact with infants triggers their brain to produce natural pain killers, which eases the discomfort caused by rapid growth. Physical touch allows the infant’s body and mind to focus on growth and development instead of the pain. Many studies have shown that infants who are not held and that do not receive physical touch can suffer from neurological dysfunctions later on in life, and some even die due to what’s called “failure to thrive.”

If we can see the power of physical touch on infants, we can understand the power physical touch has on adults. As adults, physical touch is not only comforting but it is healing at a physical, emotional, and spiritual level. When you hug someone, you both produce endorphins that elicit feelings of happiness.

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This is the part where the horse comes in. The connection, healing, and happiness induced by physical touch is not limited to our interactions with other people. We can benefit from our physical interactions with animals as well, which is why so many people enjoy sharing their lives with pets. Horses offer a unique example:

Studies show that when a person touches a horse the horse’s heart rate will actually mimic that of the person touching them.

It is as if the horse is synchronizing to that person’s energy, or flow. This connection with horses is healing and powerful, which is why horses are so often used in therapeutic settings, such as working with people who have a variety of disabilities, including children with autism. Horses teach us how to be intimate with another. Horses teach us that physical touch and connection to another being can create an experience of oneness.

In today’s society, many of us lead very busy lives. Our hectic schedules can leave little energy or desire to connect intimately.

This can cause a snowball effect: The less we connect intimately, the less desire there is.

It is not that the desire is lost, it is that we develop a resistance to the initiation of intimacy. This is partially caused by our society’s misunderstanding of what intimacy is and what actions or circumstances lead to intimacy. Partners often get into a stalemate, where both partners are waiting for the other to make a move. If your New Year’s resolution is to increase intimacy in your relationship, it’s time to take the first step.

If you desire deep, true physical intimacy with your partner, you must nurture it just like you would nurture a delicate plant. Below are some tips to create and maintain intimacy in your relationship. Little things you do throughout the day will add up, and they are the keys to creating excitement and the desire to connect at a deeper level.

Take advantage of opportunities to have physical contact: • Hold hands when walking or in the car.

• When walking past your partner reach out and give him a slight touch in their back, hand, arm, or wherever appropriate (or inappropriate).

• Give each other a genuine squeeze and kiss in the morning before departing or when you first see each other after you’ve been apart.

• Randomly kiss your partner on the cheek, hand, or lips.

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Create positive communication: • Create and share together a vision of your relationship in 2012—intimacy is about feeling that you are sharing your journey.

• Discuss each other’s needs, wants, and how you define intimacy (I recommend looking up the “5 Love Languages” online and taking the quiz).

• Throughout the day, send texts or email, leave a sticky note, or call her to let her know that you are thinking about her.

• Compliment each other frequently • Make eye contact when talking Set aside time for each other: • If you can make time for everything else in life you should be able to mutually set time aside for each other!

• Give each other weekly massages.

• Don’t wait until you’re about to fall asleep to turn of the TV. • Have cuddle time.

• Take time to visualize being intimate with your partner throughout the day.

• Start something new together, like dance or yoga classes.

Remember that your partner is a blessing and that your time with that special person is not guaranteed and should not be taken for granted. Resolve to improve your relationship in 2012 by committing to taking the actions mentioned above. Implement at least five of the recommendations consistently and then cherish those moments because these practices will not only improve the well being of your relationship but also your life. Additionally, remember that when people mysteriously “fall out of love” it is usually because intimacy has disappeared. Create and maintain physical intimacy in your relationship and you will find that not only can it heal your mind, body, and soul—you may find that you fall in love all over again.

Join me at the Enlightened Relationship Workshop on February 18! Take your relationship from GOOD to AMAZING! (See ad to the right.)

Out Your ego! . . . and wake up to who you really are

ego RUSHES Spirit EMBRACES EACH MOMENT

by Staci Backauskas I can recall dozens of times I was so excited about what was on the other side of where I stood that I rushed through everything just so I could get “there.” From signing an employment contract I thought would bring me what I wanted to accelerating relationships that ended up burning out from the speed, I stole my own joy.

It’s so easy when we’re stoked about something to want to do whatever is necessary to get “there.” Accept the job offer. Say yes to the marriage proposal. Sign the mortgage papers. It’s a set up. A set up to circumvent joy and to be disappointed when the “there” looks nothing like you imagined it would.

Set-ups come from one place—ego.

But when the adrenalin’s pumping and the mind is racing, that can be challenging to remember. Perhaps that’s why you’re reading this.

As a reminder to step back, slow down, let the emotions cool off.

What happens when you embrace each moment? Your vision changes. You clearly see things you might have blown right past. Like how not signing that employment contract would have allowed me to leave a

job where I was treated like an indentured servant, how I could have taken any number of job offers if I weren’t legally bound by my signature for four years.

When you take time to breathe through your process, you see the little things that are easily ignored when you’re moving at warp speed. Like the traits and characteristics of someone you’re interested in that are juxtaposed to yours. Breathing allows you to make choices on a foundation of peace rather than one built of chaos, no matter how exhilarating it may feel.

Taking your time also creates the space to appreciate experiences and people in a way you cannot when you’re holding your breath, focused only on getting “there.”

Be aware that ego can only survive in the past and future.

It cannot live in the now. So stake your claim on peace.

Embrace this moment.

Where are you rushing to?

•••••••••••••••

Staci B brings Light, Love & Laughter - the three key ingredients to knowing who you really are- to everything she does. From writing books and teaching classes to working with individuals and performing, everything she does supports the desire to know who you really are. You can find her at Enchanted Spirits in Dunedin or on-air hosting her radio show on GSHRadio.com every Wednesday at 4 pm. For more information or to connect with her, visit www.

StaciB.com.

Reflections

Ricky Roberts III is the author of three books, an internet-radio host, youth advocate, inspirational speaker, and founder of YOU ARE VALUED, an organization devoted to promoting the value of the individual. His volunteer work includes Life Rolls On – a surfing program for individuals with spinal cord injuries and Surfing for Autism – a surfing program for individuals and families affected by autism. Ricky resides in St. Petersburg, Florida with his wife and their two dogs. www.rickyrobertsiii.com

•••••••••••••••••• The Universal Truth: Change

Change is a universal truth and a natural occurrence that allows all things to become what they will, including us.

However, change is not always welcomed. Whether it is a job, a relationship, the loss of a loved one, a living situation, finances, or traditions we resist it when it occurs. When we resist change we are resisting the universe/God from bringing us to where we need to be. Whether it is an answer to a prayer, or a manifestation of an intention, things are brought to us in the way of change.

For our blessings to come, things must shift to make room for them.

Even when we are able to accept change for what it is and acknowledge it as something that is inevitable, it doesn’t make it any easier to honor. Change isn’t always the most graceful thing to experience. Often times, it comes out of nowhere, with no warning, and pulls the rug from beneath us.

Whether it is change that appears to be good, or bad, we must honor it as part of the divine order that is working in our life. However you may acknowledge your higher power, have peace in knowing that all things are working toward the same direction, which is a higher good—no matter how hard the experience may seem at the time.

Take a moment to think of your favorite tree; visualize its power and beauty. Think about the age of that tree and how much change it has endured to be what you now see it as. Think about the many branches it has lost, and the many storms it has weathered. Now, think of this: The same magic that has created that tree is the same magic that has created you. The same way change has made that tree what it is today, change also has made you what you are at the present moment. You are exactly where you need to be.

CELEBRATE CHANGE IN THE SAME WAY THAT YOU CELEBRATE YOUR LIFE—YOU CAN’T HAVE ONE WITHOUT THE OTHER.

Blessings – Ricky Roberts III 19

Commitment A COMMITMENT...

to Change

By Kimberly Braun What could it possibly mean to be committed to change? Commitment is staying the course and change is moving in a new direction, a seeming paradox to the superficial look. One of the arenas where that statement fits perfectly is personal growth. So much so, that a commitment to never change when it comes to ourselves is a recipe for disaster.

Yet, as clear as this may be, it is not so simple to put into practice. Our traditions, our beliefs, our fidelities all come under the gun in moments when commitment to ourselves demands a change to an aspect of our lives. So easily we can cast veils upon the deeper truthful gaze required to grow, oftentimes for very rational reasons supported by those around us. It is a false security in these moments to cling to what we always have been. I had a momentous personal moment to put this into practice.

For 10 and one half years I was a Carmelite monastic nun in solemn vows.

That means I participated in a ceremony where I made a life-long commitment. It remains one of the happiest days of my life, embodying my sole purpose to “Walk in God’s Presence.” This meant a 24/7 consecration for the world as well, living in silence, chant, meditation and prayer, becoming compassion in the world. This was a dramatic choice and had an allencompassing nature to it that was deeply satisfying

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on many levels. And for many years I grew and grew and grew, and yes the lifestyle and my embracing it facilitated that process.

June 9, 1991 I left the monastery. “If you loved the life,” many have asked, “Then why did you leave? After all you had made a commitment for life.” How do we answer deep questions regarding our choices in a simple way, oftentimes to people who do not know the turns of our own journey? It gave me a chance to identify the key element of my own choice to leave. What was it?

I left for the same reason I entered, for Love. I left in order to be faithful to my own personal growth, and this is a quality that needs to stay the same if we are going to evolve.

It takes courage because most of the time we are alone in these decisions. It takes vulnerability to lift the veils. It takes a willingness to allow the truth in our own hearts be the sole guide in our decisions. There is a Carmelite nun, Therese of Lisieux, who said so eloquently, “Yes, I have been truly humble because I have been obedient to one thing, the truth in my own heart.” It is a sword that does not spare us, and yet, gives us the only peace that is lasting. I remember my prioress (the leader of the community) was deeply grieved at my leaving because I fit so well in the community and was a natural contemplative. In her struggle to help me see this she said, “Before you leave, think about this, how will you feel on your deathbed, walking away from your vocation?”

It sounds so severe, yet her love was deep and all she saw was someone losing her way; she saw that the commitment itself was evidence of a calling to which I must be faithful, instead of seeing the calling independent of the solemn vows. This is understandable isn’t it? Outwardly it looked like a failure. Only dialogue could have revealed the ways the community and I were growing in different directions. It was only an idea of what it means to be faithful that had no real life, though I wish it had.

Before taking such a dramatic leap I did a few things that were very important defining steps—steps that I believe can be applicable for all of us. First, I recognized specifically the growing chasm between me and the spirit of my community to which I was committed. It was not just a feeling; the yearning came from true differences. This opened me to see if what I observed was integral to the commitment or was something I could work out right where I was at the moment.

Second, I asked questions. I asked if certain options would be available to me as a nun that would allow the following and nurturing of my own development. Many other communities were opening options like what I asked for, so that told me that the possibility was there.

And third, I paid attention to where my peace lay. At all times I watched myself and my responses to honestly stand before what was right—and right in my mind bears the fruit of deep indescribable peace.

Every attempt I made to dialogue and pose questions met with a closed door. Blanketed responses like, “This is the way we do things,” defined the direction. My first choice would have been to continue where I was in a new way. The willingness to engage my leaders in the discernment helped my process, even if it led me to a decision I wish could have been different.

This commitment to change set in motion many events that were completely uprooting—unexpected ways in which I needed to adapt.

Gone was anything I might have leaned on that was familiar as I reentered a world that had continued to change itself at lightning pace for close to 11 years.

Yet, my peace has always remained like a sturdy boat upon the ocean and my love has grown like a constant wind in my sails.

Being true to ourselves not only leads us to do what we are meant to do with unspeakable joy, but it also makes us capa-

ble of true compassion, service, discernment, and gentleness.

••••••••••••••••••

Kimberly Braun, M.A., Minister and Reiki Master has been devoted to meditation from the age of 5, with over 10 of her years spent as a monastic nun in North Dakota and Texas. Her Masters in theology was completed in 2001 in Washington, DC, and is concentrated upon the adult spiritual journey. She is also a meditation coach, retreat and workshop facilitator, and fellow seeker on the path to living freely. Visit her Web site at www.kimberlybraun.com. She is the creator of Celebrate Wellness Fest, and you can find more information on participating in 2012 at: www.celebratewellnessfest.com

Connection

Global Neighborhood

By Linda Commito

To love one’s country is natural, but why must it end at that border. – Pablo Cassals When I was growing up, my parents told me, “Finish your vegetables, because poor people are starving.” Their admonishment didn’t mean much to me because I had never seen someone starving in China or India or anywhere else. Today, because of cable television and the Internet, we regularly see the hungry faces of people in other countries in our living rooms, kitchens, and classrooms. It makes the plight of others more tangible.

Global has become local. As our awareness has expanded, we are experiencing a universal connection that can transform everyone into a neighbor with the click of a button.

Is anyone really so far away? Even if people look different than we do, are they really? Don’t they ache like we do when they lose a loved one? Don’t they suffer if they lose their homes or businesses? And don’t they feel despair when they’re hungry, sick, lonely, or weary? It’s evident that our neighbors are everywhere, and we all need each other’s help.

With each world crisis, we are reminded that in one mo-

ment our lives can change. In one moment we could lose all that we love and hold dear. The Japanese people, who share the same moon, sun, and planet as we do, experienced a series of moments when the earth and waters shifted and thousands of lives were lost, while thousands more were changed forever.

Many of our fellow world citizens in that country are now hungry, weary, injured, and have lost their loved ones, homes, and even entire villages.

We don’t have to belong to the same family, community, neighborhood, or country to extend a helping hand, to offer financial, physical, or emotional support. In fact, we are all part of one tribe: It’s called the human race. Millions of us throughout the world share a heart connection as we join in prayers for the health, safety, and well-being of the victims of Japan’s natural and man-made disasters, and other tragedies around the globe.

When we witness the pain and suffering of others with open hearts and hold them in our thoughts and prayers, the flow of loving energy doesn’t take into account where someone lives, what they look like, or what they do for a living. In fact, we might never meet in person. We are one loving heart touching another; the feelings of compassion are the same.

Regardless of religious or spiritual beliefs, we have come to realize that what we do for or to each other matters. As our concept of neighborhood expands to global proportions, we express our currency of love by simply seeing a need and doing our best to meet it. In doing so, we discover and experience the sense of oneness that almost all religions speak about—a connection to the divine source of life itself—and we are all equal participants.

••••••••••••••••

Linda Commito has had many incarnations: teacher, entrepreneur, author, speaker, coach, and facilitator. She is passionate about connecting people in ways that create a sense of belonging and facilitate the fulfillment of each other’s needs. This passion has found expression in her first book in a series, Love is the New Currency – a collection of uplifting, heart-centered stories that demonstrate how we can each make a difference in the lives of others through simple acts of love and kindness. Linda’s dream of writing a book that will make a positive contribution to the planet is only the beginning of her vision and legacy to leave this world a kinder, more loving and interconnected place. Visit www.loveisthenewcurrency.com

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Healthy Living

Create a

New You in the New Year

By Cylleria Johnson A lot of people begin the New Year by making resolutions. We’ve all been there. We take a vow to lose weight, exercise more, or spend more time with our family. We start the year with great intentions, but then we quickly relapse into old habits. Why is it so hard to stick to those New Year’s resolutions? It’s because we do the same old things and expect different results.

Here are some ways you can break the cycle and make your intentions a reality this year: 1. Write down your intentions and keep them in a visible place, like taped to your bedroom mirror or the dashboard of your car.

2. Get to the source of whatever is keeping you in a rut. Are you in a stressful relationship that causes you to eat a pint of ice cream every night? Are you stressed at work and feel too tired to exercise after you finish? If you don’t tackle the root of the behavior, it will be much harder to accomplish your goal.

3. Be clear about what your life would look like once you achieve your goal. If you resolve to go to the gym more, how will this benefit you? Get connected to the result of your action, and you will be more likely to stick with your plan.

4. Share your resolutions with friends and family. Hold each other accountable for achieving your goals. If you want to go to the gym more, have a friend call or text you during the week to check on you or invite him or her to join you.

Set yourself up for success by hiring a coach or personal trainer who will help you accomplish your goals one step at a time.

5. Increase your energy by cleaning up your diet. Achieving goals takes energy and digestion of food requires a lot of it. Increase your energy by eating a diet consisting of 70 percent whole foods. This means food is in its natural state that has not been processed or refined. Also, check out my article in Transformation online called 21 Effective Energy Boosting Tips You Can Use Now. 6. Reduce the energy drainers in your life. Make a list of people and things that are depleting your energy and consider decreasing your time spent with them as best as you can.

7. Feel your way to your goal. Intentions don’t manifest by simply repeating affirmations. They need feeling and emotion behind them to actualize. Start your day with a 5 minute visualization of your goals before you jump out of bed. How will you look? What will you be doing, and who will you be with? What will you feel like when you achieve this goal?

8. Reward yourself with every little accomplishment. If your intention is to lose weight and you lose 1 pound a week, pamper yourself with a massage or a frozen yogurt.

9. Set SMART goals. SMART stands for: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time-based. An example of a SMART goal is: I want to lose 5 pounds in a month. Make your goals clear and calculable with an end date that is realistic, yet stretches you at the same time.

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Big changes do not require big leaps.

Permanent change is more likely to happen gradually, one baby step at a time, so remember to go easy on yourself and have fun too!

May all your New Year’s goals and dreams come true!

Food Focus: Sea Vegetables In traditional Chinese healing, sea vegetables correspond to the winter season and to the kidneys, adrenal glands, bladder, and reproductive organs. The strengthening, balancing, and cleansing properties of sea vegetables are known to help these organs as well as the hair, skin, and nails. Sea vegetables (or seaweeds) provide a variety of minerals and vitamins, including calcium, iron and iodine, and can help balance hormone and thyroid levels in the body. Eating too many processed foods or foods grown in mineral-depleted soil can result in a lack of minerals in the body, leading to cravings for salty or sugary foods. Adding sea vegetables to your diet can help balance your energy levels and alleviate cravings.

Recipe of the Month: Seaweed Salad Prep Time: 5 minutes Yields: 4 servings Ingredients: 1 ounce seaweed, combine 2-3 varieties like wakame, arame, and hijiki 1 teaspoon agave syrup 2 tablespoons rice wine vinegar 1 teaspoon sesame oil 1 teaspoon sesame seeds Directions: 1. Combine all ingredients in a bowl.

2. Marinate for at least 30 minutes before serving.

•••••••••••••

Cylleria Johnson is a Holistic Health Coach trained at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition as well as professionally trained in the Brain Chemistry Optimization Profile. Cylleria’s love of spirit and personal development also led her to study energy work with a shaman. Combining her body, mind & spirit experience, she loves to inspire health and wellness to people ready to create powerful changes. While most dietitians dwell on calories, carbs, fats, proteins, and restrictions, she works with you step by step guiding you in designing a healthy and flexible lifestyle for your most authentic life. You can contact her at Cylleria@yahoo.com to schedule your free consultation and visit her Web site at www.cylleria.com.

Direction

Changing Direction in Life

By Sheri Rosenthal Years ago, before embarking on my spiritual path, I believed that I would, and should, have a career that would last until my retirement. But since then, and after many years questioning such beliefs and programming, I have come to realize that it is not in the nature of fluid beings of light to be doing anything for an extended period of time. Yes, I do agree that there are some folks who find something they adore and stick with it for their lifetime—but they are not in the majority. Perhaps we can say that they are blessed with an unending passion for what they do.

However, for the rest of us, we often choose a career that is seemingly steadfast and fiscally sound until we find ourselves terribly bored and without passion. Or maybe we never felt any passion in the first place for our career or maybe we never knew what we wanted to do in life at the time we made those choices. If you are one of those people who are not enthralled with your career—read on.

There’s always a moment when we realize our life is not going in the direction that we always dreamed it would go—it’s kind of like getting hit with the cosmic two-by-four and asking: How did I get here?

Sometimes we call that a midlife crisis, spiritual breakdown, or a come-to-Jesus moment. No matter what we call it—the best aspect of this realization is that it brings with it unending possibilities and opportunities—if we are willing to be open to the miracle of life.

Once this realization comes into our consciousness—normally the next occurrence is not a vision of us running off, excited to find our next calling. Instead what

happens is an onslaught of every possible reason for not letting go of our comfortable but mundane lives. The amount of fear-based reasons for not getting out there and taking a chance at something new are formidable. Perhaps you are familiar with some of these objections: • I can’t leave where I am until I have something new in line.

• I don’t know what I want and until I do I should stay with this.

• I’m too old to start something new at this time.

• I don’t have the resources to make what I would like happen.

• I don’t know how to create what I would like.

• I don’t know anyone in that business and have no connections.

If any of these objections have passed through your mind please see them for what they are—lies. You are capable of creating anything, especially with help. There are so many people out there willing to assist us in creating our dream, but we must be willing to start talking about what we would like and asking for assistance. Believe me, you are never too old to create something new and allow your spirit to soar.

There are no excuses for mediocrity and you pay a very high price for a little safety in life.

If you haven’t thought about any of this before, perhaps now is the time to meditate on your happiness before the cosmic two-by-four gets you! Spread your wings, open your heart and fly.

With all my love & blessings. Sheri Rosenthal

••••••••••

Sheri Rosenthal DPM is a master Toltec teacher and author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Toltec Wisdom and Banish Mind Spam!. Having trained with don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements®, she currently takes students on spiritual journeys www.journeysofthespirit.com works with personal apprentices and enjoys being extremely happy. You can reach her at info@sherirosenthal.com or www.sherirosenthal.com and www. withforgiveness.com.

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Inspiration

the e B

Change

By Frannie Hoffman

I’m standing at my kitchen counter waiting for my test results. It’s part of my routine physical. I know in every fiber of my being that I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been. So why do I feel so anxious?

Finally the phone rings and the results confirm what I already know—everything is normal.

A dam inside me breaks as my joy and relief spill out through my happy tears.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been told my liver was not normal. And year after year after year, the test results have supported that claim. I have dedicated much of my life to serving humanity by allowing myself, to the best of my ability, to be a vessel so that God can work with me and through me. A big part of my commitment involves lifestyle choices that support the healthy growth and healing of my mind, body, and spirit. At times it is hard to stay on the path of what we want, especially when others around us have lost their own battles.

Guilt sometimes swallows me up, as I wonder why I should believe I could get well when loved ones have remained sick or even died.

We have the ability to change ourselves, and only we can do it.

If you change how you think then you will change how you feel, and then choose a more helpful response. Meditation helps us to be the change we wish to see in the world.

Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, I reach with my mind and heart as I pray: Dear God, let me be an instrument of your peace.

Help me to share your divine loving presence as I trust that I can stay open to whatever I meet today.

I breathe into my body and receive myself. Then I quietly rise up out of bed in the darkness of the bedroom and fumble my way to the living room. Putting on my robe, I ease into my favorite chair. No one can calm me and bring me peace except God. I know that being calm and quiet not only serves me, but I am sure God can make better use of me, as well.

I settle into my body and feel whatever is lurking in the deepest parts of my being. I know answers to any of my problems come when I am willing to face my uncomfortable feelings and difficult thoughts. When I stay with these shameful hurts and pains within, something inside softens.

The fear of staying here loosens its hold and breathing begins to quiet the mind allowing the dense thought-forms to fall away. I know that the only way out of my self-imposed pain is to go inward to hold it. When I listen with the ear of my heart, the still small voices of inner wisdom reveals what is nourishing.

As I pray and contemplate this connection inside, I find the

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strength that helps me handle the darkness of the inner and outer world. I also feel that meditation can help us handle all of the powerful light that is coming in at this time.

As we are called to live bigger and brighter, sometimes our resistance gets bigger, as well.

I witness how afraid we are to live our truest potential. We are afraid to fully let our light shine. Our addictions keep us trapped and muted. Can we be love with conviction? Can we see the miracle we are just by choosing to be peace? Can we open our hearts and share this food that light offers to the hungry? I think we all want that peace but first we must forgive the past by recognizing unhealthy emotional patterns. Can we let go of those moments that brought us to our knees when we uncovered the lie of unworthiness? Forgiving is part of the process as we begin to view the world through the lenses of new thought.

Living love and being the light for another is truly a gift. Nowhere on this earth have I experienced this gift more profoundly than when I have stood before the one people call John of God. He embodies the words that Mahatma Gandhi speaks of:

“Be the change you want to see in the world.”

I have been to Brazil to visit John of God two times before. Yet this trip brought me to understand more deeply how living to serve this food called love is our greatest gift. When I speak of love here, I mean divine love, God’s love. I believe that life brings us to more of it if we can be in the direct experience of any given moment. In the present moment, if we accept who we are, with all our fears and all our shame and guilt, then we will see that our feelings do not have to separate us. We can join together in the one mind.

My father died the day after my arrival in Abadiania, Brazil. It pushed me deeply into grief as I longed to touch my father again. I wanted to feel his spirit with me. I prayed and meditated. I walked in silence as my intention to be more present revealed many thoughts and feelings. I felt, I cried, I allowed myself to just be with me. I was so willing to heal my inner world and my body.

As I look around the hall where many wait to see Joao De Deus (John of God), I am humbled by these brave souls in wheel chairs, on crutches, and being carried. The sick and the dying, the searchers for truth all gather in this sacred holy place called Casa de Dom Inacio de Loyola. Everyone wears white; we are all the same here. We take our turn to stand in the presence of a man who has committed his life to the

healing of the collective society. As a medium for God, he becomes a hollow reed. Medium Joao, as he likes to be called, radiates unconditional love that heals those who need healing.

In the presence of this love, fear dissolves.

If enough of us stand in the light of true love, not simplistic love, but strong divine love, then there is peace and this creates a force field of healing light.

My group is called and slowly I walk in the line that brings us into the Entities Current room where John is. I feel held in the arms of the angels as I observe so many people sitting in pews meditating and radiating their love and support. The walls are crowded from floor to ceiling with holy pictures of Saints and music fills the air. It feels like a sacred pilgrimage to meet God through the eyes of Joao De Deus. For 48 years he has participated in the healing of over 8 million people.

When we give ourselves this deeper connection we can open up to the entire world. We can give and live for others from this full cup. I saw it when I stood in front of John. The light of God was spilling out of him like an endlessly flowing river. He was connected inward and sharing from this place where God meets us all. His words, so simple and yet profoundly truthful and filled with spirit, touched my heart and I melted into the love of my dad within this timeless sacred moment. I was changed in a holy instant.

No matter who we are, we have things to do to fulfill the calling of our souls. We are called to be authentically ourselves as best as we can be. We are challenged each day to dig deeper into ourselves to find out who we really are and to choose to live truthfully. Each of us, no matter who we are, can align ourselves with a better idea. All of us need more quiet time, not to retreat from the world but to merge with the treasures and richness that

is flowing through our very being.

How will we hold the challenges and limitations that are given to us? When the resistance to the moment falls away, we are forever changed. We are the doorway as love enters this world through each of us individually as we join together as one.

The joining creates a gateway where light enters to bring many treasures through our gaze, through our eyes, through our touch and through our words. We are the messengers as we let go of the past and allow the present moment to be all that is. When we look into the mirror that this world is, who we are is reflected back and we have another opportunity to share the truth that only the heart can receive.

Follow your dream and fully be yourself as you let what you do fill you with enthusiasm. You are brave the moment you enter inside, letting go of what holds you back from fully being here as yourself. Follow your heart for it is the gateway into the power of love that nurtures this dream as you become an instrument for God. You are the change.

•••••••••••••••••

Frannie Hoffman is a spiritual intuitive, counselor and author.

Through her counseling sessions, Circle of Light meditations, writings and seminars, she is deeply committed to inspiring and empowering people. For over 20 yrs. she has devoted her life to helping others tap into their own spiritual power so that they can live more authentically. In her book “From Modeling Clothes To Modeling Self” and upcoming book “Three Voices, One Truth” (co-authored with her triplet sisters) she invites the reader into her personal and honest expression of life and Divine Spirit. Visit her online at www.franniehoffman.com Join me for my presentation, Initiation into the Heart of Oneness, at the Awaken Your Spiritual Connection Workshop on January 28 in Bradenton. www.suncoasttransformation.com/awaken.html

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Marcia began her career as a school teacher, working with preschool through inner city high school students. She has worked with all aspects of Metaphysics for over 40 years and specializes in Tarot and Numerology. Marcia’s clients and students are in every state and throughout Europe. Marcia has taught over 400 students to “read” the Tarot for the purpose of self-guidance and to use the powerful symbolism of the Tarot to reach higher levels of spirituality.

Her column, Spiritually Speaking, originally ran for 8 years in Attitudes Magazine in the Sarasota area. Email marlou2000@aol.com

•••••••••••••••••• Life Changing Tools and Wisdom

All lives contain periods so difficult that it seems almost more than is bearable.

As humans, we go through many changes in a lifetime; some of these changes are more profound than others. Change is never easy and is often traumatic.

People often find themselves sitting across the table from me and seeking counsel during a time of major transition in their lives. I have been a student of metaphysics for over 50 years, and one thing that I have learned is that there are certain lessons that must be learned in a lifetime. These are lessons that we have agreed to learn even before incarnating and many of the Karmic lessons chosen are not pleasant. It is the manner in which we choose to deal with these lessons that will either help or hinder our ability to cope with them. I cannot change the Karmic circumstances that are occurring in the lives of my clients and students, but I can offer counsel on the handling of these situations.

There are many metaphysical tools that, in the hands of a “Master,” can help people to cope with the ever-changing aspects of life. Some of the “tools” are Rune Tiles, I Ching coins and, of course, the Tarot. Higher Forces want to communicate with us and proper knowledge of these spiritual “tools” will help us to understand how to deal with our issues with more balance and acceptance. It doesn’t matter which “tool” you use, but you must “master” that tool for optimal guidance.

I use one of the most powerful of all the spiritual “tools” to gain wisdom, self-guide, teach others to self-guide and offer counsel to my clients. My “tool” of choice is the Tarot. A deck of 78 cards with beautiful pictures painted on them. These can be 78 of the “best friends” one can have when in the learned hands of a skilled reader or, even better, in our own hands if we are fortunate enough to be taught to use them properly.

I will talk often about this wonderful tool of divination, should you, the readers request the information, but this column is not about the Tarot. If you want to learn more about the Tarot

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and other metaphysical tools, join me at the Awaken Your Spiritual Connection Workshop on January 28th (See the ad by the Table of Contents). This is about some of the things that I am able to tell people, things that I have integrated into my own life and try to live by, when going through times of most difficult stress and change.

This is not deep or profound knowledge gained through years of metaphysical and spiritual study, this is knowledge gained through living many years and for my good Karma of being exposed to some very amazing people in my life.

I often tell people when life hands you a lemon make lemonade! Well, we all know that some of life’s lemons are a lot less easy to swallow than others. I will ask you to try the following exercise the next time the lemon is particularly sour. Take a deep breath and repeat these words,

“In 100 years this situation will not matter.”

Now think about that statement please. One hundred years from today, no one will give a damn about what is now causing such grief and unhappiness in your life. Not you, nor anyone now involved in this situation. I began to think about this a long time ago, due to something that my mother said to me. One day she was dusting a room in the family home, a bit carelessly in the opinion of the know-it-all teenager I was. I looked at her and said, “That will not pass the white glove test.” She simply replied that the missed dust would be there a long time after she was gone, as in no longer in physical body. Like I said, 100 years from today no one will care about this problem.

Now for my very favorite parable of all time. To understand this story you need to understand the very wise man who taught this lesson to me. Cantor Morris Bosch. Cantor Bosch is the father of my first husband and was my father-in-law many years ago. He is 90 years old now and living a very full life in Ohio. This is the kind of man who would find the good in everything and everyone and truly lived by the Golden Rule. If five people came to his door, and they often did in the depression years because he owned a little grocery story, and these five people said that they were hungry, even if he knew that four were impostors he would feed all five to make sure that the hungry person was fed. Besides being a kind and godly man, he also gave much advice, even when advice was not sought.

As a young woman, the advice would sometimes “get on my nerves” when it was directed at me. On the other hand, I found it wonderful and profound when directed at my young son. One of the things he used to say to my son was,

“Think twice and speak once.”

I often tell that one to my clients when the Higher Forces are telling them to “keep a quiet counsel and be careful to whom they speak to and what they say.” There was one thing that Morris always said to me that really would get on my nerves. It was usually when I was in a very stressful situation. Before I tell you what he would say, let me paint a worst case scenario picture for you.

You have just been hit by a large truck and are in the intensive care unit of the local hospital, wrapped in bandages, with tubes going in and out of your body, conscious enough to be in such pain that

you are afraid that you will die and more afraid that you won’t, and Morris comes through the door. He looks at you and asks, “How are you?” You muster all your strength and tell him that you have never in your entire life been more miserable. He ponders and pauses, sighs and says,

“IT COULD BE WORSE!” And it ALWAYS could be worse! I remember an old ancient saying, “I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man that had no feet.”

The purpose of this column was not to undermine the tri-

als and tribulations that we must endure in a lifetime, nor to make light of them. The problems that one has to work through and live through are often really tragic and affect the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual cores of our being. One thing is certain, and this is wisdom I have gained over the years of living my own life and counseling so many thousands of other people, being miserable and depressed does nothing to cure a problem, and is always guaranteed to make the problem much worse.

So the next time life hands you a lemon, IT COULD BE WORSE!

And remember that Knowledge is the Greatest Power, so Walk in the Light.

Change

Marla Sanderson has been a student of spiritual practice for more than 35 years. She began as Assistant Director of The Next Step, a psychic and spiritual community in a New Mexico ghost town. As workshop leader, teacher, practitioner, and minister, she has led relationship and personal growth workshops, taught psychic development and meditation, Living Love, and the Science of Mind. Marla is available for workshops and speaking engagements. She recently founded the New Thought Center for Creative Living at the Unity Peace Cottage in Clearwater (see ad ). Attend the Mid-Week Faith Lift service, Wednesdays at 7pm. www.newthoughtctr.org

•••••••••••••••••• Keep the Change

Don’t you just love change? I’m not talking about the kind that rattles around in your pocket or goes in parking meters.

I mean that exciting state where something old is being replaced by something new.

And you might be thinking “Is she crazy?” Recently I heard from a friend who was in a tizzy because some things around her were changing. It didn’t seem that big to me—and certainly nothing to worry about, but we all respond to the prospect of change in our own way.

Maybe it’s the uncertainty that upset her. She might be thinking, “Will things get worse? Will I still be OK? Will I be penniless—jobless—homeless—friendless—useless? Am I going to lose?” Fear has a way of taking off on its own, and it can be a bottomless pit of pessimistic possibilities.

Maybe it’s about change she hadn’t initiated herself. Ah, the control issues. Something is happening without her consent!

How dare the world change without permission! We get all comfy in our place in life and any chipping away at the edge of our comfort zone feels like a personal threat.

We grew up with the message that the ideal is to be set for life. We get our education so we can get a job, and be set for life. We find a mate, settle down, and we’re set for life. But the world introduces new possibilities every day, and that “set for life” mentality becomes obsolete.

Imagine that what you have right now is the best it’s ever going to get. Tomorrow will be like today—like yesterday— last week. Why bother to get up in the morning?

It’s impossible to hold it all in place. If you don’t go with what’s coming, you have little choice but to watch what you have deteriorate.

It is the nature of Life to change, and it will always get better if you let it.

The attempts to keep everything in place are like trying to hold back the tide.

You just get in deeper and deeper. Keep at it long enough and you’re going to get a lot more than wet. And even when you’re completely wiped out and washed up, the waves just keep on coming.

The problem isn’t change; it’s what happens when we resist it.

The Creator of this Life has been keeping the world spinning for a long time and that’s a powerful force to fight. We can’t expect to have a good and happy time of it when we resist the urge of Life Itself to move forward.

Suppose instead, you view change with positive anticipation? Are things so good right now that they can’t possibly get better? If they are, it’s probably only that you can’t imagine better. But there is an Intelligence much more imaginative than you or me, and it’s full of wonderful surprises for any of us willing to accept them.

When you understand the power of your own mind to create your life, you know how important it is to have a positive approach. When you see changes up ahead, naturally expect that something good is trying to happen. It takes practice to develop this attitude, but it’s a small price to pay for a positive outcome. Are you willing to pay it? Keep the change.

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Dr. ZZ’s bold, upfront, directive style plays an inspirational role in the lives of people she touches. Drawing on a non-traditional Ph.D. in counseling and natural healing, ZZ works in Sarasota with shaman elder Jack Alexander (“Golden Feather”), who offers land blessings, shamanic training, Life Purpose readings, and all-faith, community-based spiritual guidance. This forum proposes potential solutions on health, emotional, and personal matters. For more, see www.shaman.mosaicglobe.com.

Dr. ZZ: Chances are your dilemma stems from the past. Most likely your fantasies relate to experiences of your father growing up, to conflicts in your feelings toward him, and to a long-held self-appraisal. It may help if you divide your concerns into two separate issues: fantasy and self-destructive or risky behavior.

••••••••••••••••• Question: I suffer from low self-esteem, and my social skills

Everyone is entitled to fantasy; it is no one else’s concern as long as your thoughts are contained within your own mind. You need not feel guilty or ashamed. It is even perfectly okay to incorporate your fantasies into sex play as long as your partner is willing, and it doesn’t get out of hand. Take care of yourself, and be sure to develop exciting, non-sexual ways to enjoy your life as well. Perhaps then you won’t feel as driven to act out your fantasies grimly or to put yourself in humiliating and painful situations.

I come from a broken family and was sent away to a children’s home at the age of 10. While there, I was sexually abused until I was 16. I always felt that I was to blame for what happened.

I’ve had a number of relationships as an adult, all heterosexual, but they never seem to last for long. They usually end due to my feeling that people don’t really think much of me or really care for me even though they say that they do. I’m terrified of rejection and take it extremely bad. I spend most of my free time watching mindless TV programs and feeling depressed. I know what I should do (i.e., get out and try to meet people), but I always seem to make an excuse not to. I always say that I will do something about it when I lose weight.

Question: My son is 18 and a senior in high school. He has friends at school but never calls them or goes out with them. He seems to think they’d call him if they want to spend time with him, and he refuses to call them. He does go to school with no problem and went to the prom last year. My question is whether I should be concerned that he’s not spending more time with his friends. I’ve questioned him as to whether he’s depressed and don’t want to continue doing that, but I find myself worrying about it all the time.

aren’t very good. As a result, I find it difficult to make friends or to form close relationships. Because of my loneliness and isolation, I’m overeating, and this makes my self-esteem even lower. I don’t usually have much contact with people except for a couple of close friends I see now and again.

Dr. ZZ: Well, there’s some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that a history of sexual abuse is hard to overcome.

When those you should be able to trust let you down at such a young age, it becomes a challenge to trust anyone ever again along the way. The good news is: All that’s behind you. You are no longer a lonely, hurt child, but an adult who can take care of yourself. Whether good, bad, or ugly, you now have to deal with the feeling of yearning to get close to others while being terrified of what may happen if you do.

There is no easy solution. Start slowly and test out new relationships. Each successful one will make you stronger and happier with yourself. Sometimes you’ll get hurt; then you’ll have to tell yourself that you can survive disappointment. We all have to.

Getting involved in organizations where you meet people who won’t tend to reject you is a good way to start. Church groups, groups for survivors of abuse, and 12-step programs like Overeaters Anonymous are places where you can find help and acceptance while beginning to see yourself in a new light.

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Question: This is not a joke and is submitted in sincerity. I am a gay Jewish male, the son of a World War II Holocaust survivor, and I have always been attracted to Nazis and Marines. I desire to be submissive and humiliated, and I have problems meeting men who are interested in playing out this fantasy. I have consulted psychologists and psychiatrists for information on this phenomenon, but none have provided insight or a possible resolution. Can you provide me with any insight or possible solutions? I feel very lonely.

Dr. ZZ: Your son’s situation is curious and leads me to wonder if he’s socially maladjusted or if there’s no specific reason for concern. He seems to be functioning appropriately; at least he isn’t just locking himself in his room. You don’t say what he does with his time as he’s not spending it with friends. Is he an egghead? Is he engrossed in hobbies? As long as he says that he isn’t depressed and doesn’t seem unhappy, he’s probably doing reasonably well. You may want to check in with his teachers and school guidance counselor to see how they perceive him in relation to his peers.

Disclaimer: All information provided in this article is intended as general information only and is not to be misconstrued as medical or psychological advice, or as diagnosis, treatment or cure for any condition or ailment. Send queries or comments to askDrZZ@yahoo.com. All identifying information is kept strictly confidential.

Soul Healing

By Elissa Bentsen Many people wonder about the following questions.

What happens when souls are traumatized by emotional, physical, or spiritual pain in current or past lives? Do souls react to the effects of such events? How can healing take place at a soul level?

Indeed, there are consequences to emotional, physical, and spiritual traumas that occur in a current life; however, past lives leave scars too. Past-life pain also backwashes into a current life, causing a repeat performance of negative energy. Author, medium, and international speaker Denise Linn says that:

85 percent of soul fracturing is from past lives and only 15 percent is a result of current life events.

When a soul experiences extreme fear, pain, abuse, stress, or a series of smaller events that escalate, the reaction is instinctual: Soul splinters flee the body to return to the shelter and safety of the spirit realm. These little pieces, known as soul fragments, need to be returned to the earth plane for individuals to feel fully integrated.

Retrieving soul fragments produces a sense of healing or wholeness by returning the body to a mended state, which can be experienced as physical, emotional, or spiritual healing.

The most compelling reason to retrieve soul fragments is the ability to improve a current incarnation, which is suffering from past life incidents that reveal themselves in the healing process. These missing fragments continue to require attention— reincarnation after reincarnation—until they are fully rebalanced and reconnected.

Imagine for a moment that in a past life, a soul was enslaved, humiliated, and held back from experiencing the joy of embodied life. Soul fragments then left the earth plane due

to continual abuse. In a current life, that same soul is under the domination of another person and still feels a lack of freedom.

Perhaps the controller is a mother who overly criticizes an adult child or an employer who emotionally abuses an employee. The past life scenario is still playing out, still causing discord. When soul trauma healing is performed, the soul in its current body is made stronger—strong enough to cut the ties that bind him or her to domination.

A soul’s common reaction to traumatic events is to create disassociation or separation from the experience, which results in giving up pieces of light, joy, power, consciousness, love, satisfaction, clarity, and other positive feelings that also happen to be associated with the encounter. A pattern gradually develops creating a greater separation for the soul, a divide that continues into the present and perpetuates into future lives.

Although soul loss is a coping skill, the parts that leave don’t come back easily by themselves, and a healer can greatly accelerate the process to return those missing pieces to the body and restore equilibrium. During Soul retrieval work, the healer receives channeled visions of a person’s past life (or lives) in which the fragments left and then details of the events surrounding the trauma. Through the guidance of spirit, information is channeled correlating to one’s current life.

Discordant energy is removed, returned to spirit for recycling, and missing soul fragments are called back into the body.

The results vary from person to person. Some say they feel a new sense of lightness of being, some feel more acute mental clarity, while others say they feel more peaceful and calm.

The marvel of assisted soul healing is that it continues long after the procedure is completed. Weeks and often months later individuals feel the remarkable effects of returned soul energy. If you are experiencing reoccurring, unresolved issues—either emotional, physical, or spiritual—it may be time to consider soul retrieval healing.

It’s never too late to be the person you were meant to be.

••••••••••••••••••

Elissa Bentsen is a Board Certified Hypnotist who specializes in Past Life and Life Between Life regression as well as Soul Trauma Healing. Elissa’s educational background is in counseling and social work with post graduate work in Mental Health Counseling. Her career includes posts as Executive Director for several Floridabased United Way agencies. She has studied with psychiatrist, Dr. Brian Weiss, the pioneer in Past Life Regression Therapy and Betty McCormack, affiliated with the Omni Hypnosis Center. For more information, visit www.ForeverSouls.com

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New Year

New Year’s Resolutions You Absolutely Can Achieve

By Rena Greenberg It’s the dawn of the New Year and your motivation to take charge of your life is high. As you assess your life, your attention is steered to an area you’d like to improve. Whether it’s losing 10 pounds, eating more nutritiously, beginning an exercise regime or quitting smoking, your goals are noble and feel like they’re within your reach.

Just as you’re beginning to feel great joy arise at the prospect of being all that you can be, the dreaded voices of doubt inevitably begin to barrage your senses. “Who are you kidding; you make this commitment to yourself every year. Why would this time be any different? What makes you think you can do it? Why set yourself up for disappointment?” Before you succumb to these negative voices, rise up to meet them by putting in place the following eight steps, which are guaranteed to ensure your success and help you to create the life of your dreams.

1. Make the Goal Realistic Don’t set the bar too high. In other words, if your goal is to begin exercising, avoid the temptation to run five miles the first day and then fall over in exhaustion, breaking your inner commitment to get in shape this year. Instead, remember that slow and steady is what ultimately wins the race. If you want to stop drinking and cold turkey has never worked for you before, begin to cut back and set guidelines for yourself, e.g., I only drink on Saturday evening or I will not drink alone at home.

4. Believe in a New Possibility for Yourself The past need not be a barometer of the future. You are worthy of attaining the goals that mean so much to you. The key is belief in yourself, perseverance, and persistence. If you feel discouraged, remind yourself that it took Alexander Graham Bell 14 years to invent the telephone. Even though baseball player Babe Ruth was famous for having the most home runs, it’s helpful to realize that he also had the most strikeouts. Failure and success go hand in hand when you are playing the game of life.

Stay strong in your belief that you deserve the best life possible for yourself.

5. Set Attainable, Measurable Goals It makes it a whole lot easier to experience success when you have a measurable, realistic goal. Rather than focusing on a large goal that looms in the distance, such as eating only organic foods that you grow yourself, tell yourself that you will plant an herb garden with five or six fresh herbs within the next 10 days. Find a time when you can comfortably shop for the plants, fertilizer, and pots, and schedule it on your calendar.

Then plan a few meals that will allow you the delicious reward of eating the nutritious greens that you have planted yourself. Setting these types of specific, reachable goals ensures the likelihood that you will ultimately live the type of life you desire.

2. Stay Focused on Your Vision Rather than putting all your attention on any possible failures, focus your awareness on the outcome that you desire.

Spend time fantasizing about the reward of achieving your higher potential. If your goal is to become an excellent public speaker, imagine the audience clapping and smiling with delight as you approach the podium. If you have been battling with nicotine addiction, use all your senses to help you relish the wonderful feeling of living your life smoke-free, breathing easily. Take time to sense the relief and joy of having your hair, clothes, furniture, and car smell clean and fresh. Hear the voices of loved ones supporting and congratulating you.

6. An Action a Day . . .

Establishing positive momentum is the key. Each day take at least one positive action towards your goal. If your goal is to lose 20 pounds, make sure that every day you are moving in that direction. Keep one or two full glasses of water near your bed, so that when you wake up in the morning you can be sure to start your day with sufficient pure, fresh water to cleanse your system. If you take the bus to work, get off a few stops earlier and walk the rest of the way. Have comfortable shoes in your bag to make it easier to follow through on this goal, despite the fact that it may be raining or you may feel tired, in the moment.

Commit to taking these small actions regardless of your moods or the weather.

3. Model Success Find someone who has already accomplished your coveted goal and discern their wisdom in this area of their life. See if you can distill the steps they took to achieve what you desire to accomplish. Use the person who has already succeeded with what you are attempting to achieve as a model for yourself to help you break free from any obstacles. Chances are they encountered similar challenges and by studying their methods of success, you can obtain valuable information on how to get beyond these difficulties.

7. Ask for What You Want Sometimes we are afraid to ask for what we want for fear that we won’t get it. If we don’t request it, however, we are far less likely to realize our dreams. Faith is essential when we are stepping into a new way of being. Take a few moments each day to bow your mind to your heart and just ask your Higher Self, God, or even the deepest place within your soul, to help you find the courage, strength, and wisdom within to master this area of your life and be all that you can be in the world. Ask to be shown

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how you can not only change for yourself, but set a better example for others by living in this new way. Often, when we set goals not only to improve our own lives, but to create greater good for mankind, those positive impulses help to propel us forward.

8. Write Your Goals Down There is a certain power in writing things down. Write down very specifically what you wish to create for yourself and be sure to include details in your writing. For example, you may jot down in your journal, “I am happy and vibrant. Every day I put on my headset and walk, jog, dance, or rollerblade. I love to be outside in the park exercising, enjoying the fresh air and all the delightful sights, sounds, and smells around me. It feels so good to be alive and move my body.” Writing these goals down will strengthen your own personal commitment.

Following these eight steps will improve your ability to accomplish that which means so much to you. Every day affirm to yourself that you are worth it. You don’t have to let life’s challenges and distractions get in your way. This year, 2012, truly can be the year that you step into the fabulous, beautiful self that you truly are!

••••••••••••••••••

Rena Greenberg is the author of The Right Weigh: Six Steps to Permanent Weight Loss used by over 100,000 People (Hay House Publishing) and The Craving Cure: Break the Hold Carbs and Sweets Have on Your Life (McGraw-Hill). Rena has a private hypnosis practice in Sarasota and can be reached through her Web site at www.EasyWillpower.com

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Randy owns Triple 3 Marketing based in Sarasota. He’s a long term advocate for positive change having owned a couple community magazines since 1999. Randy sold Positive Change Media in April 2009 and took a year off before launching Triple 3 Marketing. In addition to helping business owners, he also provides private coaching. Randy has a masters degree in communication arts from the University of Wisconsin at Madison where he studied persuasion and attitude change. Contact Randy at randy@triple3marketing.com.

•••••••••••••••••• Change: The Story of My Life

There’s a popular adage that the only constant in life is change. I have lived this truth as a young boy and I still do as a middle aged man.

My first major change was leaving California and moving to Pennsylvania following the divorce of my parents. I was four years old. A year later, I was dropped off at a boarding school where I lived for the next decade. That was a painful change that challenged me to find inner strength before I even knew what it meant.

Part of my survival instinct was to read biographies about notable people. I realized that all great people had to overcome major challenges. For Hannibal, it was crossing the frozen Alps. For Edison, it was compensating for his poor hearing.

My heart stretched to the possibility that my own situation was evidence of value and perhaps even future greatness. I desperately wanted to believe that feeling so alone and vulnerable had some deeper meaning. It took years to realize my circumstances had blessed me with a sense of compassion for myself and others.

Nothing makes me feel more human.

My father, who abandoned our family when we were toddlers, returned when I was 13. It took him a year to outwit the boarding school administrators and overcome the resistance of my mother to set us free. We were giddy to become somewhat normal kids in sunny California, although being teenagers at a large public school presented a new set of challenges.

I joined the Air Force when I was 17. I was probably attracted to the military given my structured upbringing. I was a squad leader at basic training and a natural leader. Most of my fellow trainees were intimidated by drill sergeants barking nonsensical orders, but it was nothing new for me. This desire to return to a familiar sense of security also influenced my decision to get married early and become a father in my early 20s.

I excelled in the Air Force, although eventually I got divorced and left the military within the same six month period. I decided to go into sales as an executive recruiter, which was the antithesis of my prior life other than the importance of self-discipline. I worked as an executive recruiter for the next 15 years and explored

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the potential of my maverick tendencies.

One of the consequences of starting over was a decision to return to California while my former wife and son moved to Minnesota to be closer to her family. I discovered being a long-distance father is a contradiction. I missed my son and no relationship or business success could fill the hole in my heart. I eventually moved to Minnesota so I could be closer to Bryan. It was the smartest change I’ve ever made.

Even though being an executive recruiter was stimulating and financially viable, I burned out on aspects of the corporate world and decided to go in a new direction. I waited for my son to graduate from high school before moving to Sarasota. Bryan followed me a year later.

Goodbye recruiting on the northern frontier and hello publishing on the Gulf Coast. I bought the local Natural Awakenings franchise in 1999 and proceeded to make it one of the most successful franchises in their network. I signed a multiyear agreement, which I honored until it expired in 2006. I realized that publishing was a good fit for my skills, but I was not keen on the franchise concept with this organization.

I launched my own magazine at the end of 2006 to reach a broader audience. This was the happiest time of my tenure as a publisher. Positive Change was a unique magazine, and it was an opportunity to express greater creativity, which has always sparked changes in my life. Within a few years I realized two important things: I was tired of all the busy work and print magazines are not as viable as they used to be. A broker approached me in late 2008 with a buyer who was interested in purchasing my company.

I felt fortunate I was about to sell Positive Change. I took a year off to relax, travel, and explore personal interests. Eventually, I launched Triple 3 Marketing to help small business owners and nonprofit clients.

I enjoy helping the Sarasota Bay Estuary Program (SBEP) as the organization’s contracted marketing director. SBEP is focused on restoring and protecting Sarasota Bay—a vital mission in our region. You can learn more about my client at sarasotabay.org.

I recently launched a new blog titled Sarasota Bay Today that will focus on the area’s most important natural asset. I also enjoy writing for Transformation, and I regard it to be the region’s best source for information about personal growth and conscious living.

So, what have I learned from my lifelong dance with change?

I’ve learned that most changes have short-term challenges leading to longer-term rewards.

Sometimes you have to hang on to experience the silver lining. I have also come to trust change more than the status quo— especially with issues related to social justice and equity. Our nation desperately needs positive change. Business and politics as usual is not a solution; at least it isn’t for 99 percent of us. It won’t be easy to push the reset button in the face of such well financed resistance.

It’s going to take time, courage, and persistence.

Best wishes for a New Year of positive change.

Perspective

A Change in Perspective

By Mark E. Sanders Looking back upon history, I see a world that has arisen from the vast expanse of human existence and I ask, “What has changed?” People have always been “dissatisfied” with their governments, people have always been concerned with the state of affairs in their lives and, for the most part, they have always complained about trivialities, and fell prey to greed, lust, and the vast array of exterior stimuli that we use to judge ourselves. Even Aristotle, Plato, and the Milesians of ancient Greece were so discontented with the status quo that they debated the very nature of existence.

In all the archives of recorded history you find the consistent theme of people not believing that their happiness was their making. The philosophers of ancient times would debate over the issues of state vs. the concerns of the heart and perpetually came to the same conclusions: It is all simply a matter of perception. There is no “good,” and no “evil;” these words are simply concepts to express perspectives. This world we live in is a place of duality, and the word change is a duality.

We live in a vast ever-changing realm of transcendences.

Our lives are, when all is said and done, an individual experience. Within this experience we find opportunities to grow, to share, and to change the world in which we have come to know. The simple truth of the matter is that everything is continually changing.

Though these changes may be hard to perceive as we go about our daily routines, what we experience is perpetually altering our life. This can be, and usually is, overlooked as we watch the changes going on in the world around us. What we perceive of the world as we watch what is happening outside our nook “now” is not what it once was. Many of us today can look back on a time before cell phones, before the Internet and, for the ever-diminishing elders of our communities, before television. There were simpler times once and this too has changed. Vast changes in the material world use to take decades or even millennia to manifest, though today they are often and increasingly more perceptible in mere months.

Some may perceive this as a negative occurrence, while others embrace the changes and look forward to things becoming new again. Regardless of your perspective, the images conjured by phrases like “changing times” or “shift in consciousness” show us

that there is again an additional duality to understand as we begin to realize that we can choose to change our lives, or we can simply allow things to remain the same.

Change is Choice

I would say the term “status quo” is the antonym of change.

In the “now” there are many changes occurring. They often present us with a feeling of concern, and in another duality they can show us hope. How we react to changes and what we choose to do about them can lead us to places we choose to go. When I think of the word Change, I think of it in part as a synonym for the word Choice. I choose to accept changes within my life therefore the Change is my Choice.

I choose to live a life of meaning and to fulfill the spiritual needs of anyone who may stumble upon my words. I find that when I am presented with a choice, inevitably it changes the path of my life. When we decide to react to the world, we should keep in mind that our actions meet with reactions and inevitably a change happens every time we interact with a person.

When I reflect upon choices, or changes I have made in my life, I realize that yesterday is no more, and tomorrow does not exist yet. So I should keep in mind that whatever I decide to do, or to whom I decide to present my opinion, the words I write inevitably alter the shape of the world. I am a co-creator of this world as are you. In each moment we shape this world, for every action, decision, or choice we make not only alters our place in it, but also alters the world as a whole.

Only in this ever expanding “now” can we instill change, and only within our “now” do we grow and experience this expression of creation we see all around us. There is but one constant, and that is: Creation constantly changes. Our understanding of this world is based upon what we can experience with our five senses. We can see all of the beauty in it, we can smell the flowers, taste the salty air, hear the symphonies, and feel their rhythms.

You can experience the perpetual changing of perception, and you do; however, you may not realize it.

Our world always has been a changing place. This isn’t anything new. Everything decays into the past, so we need to stop dwelling on it, and perhaps it is time to change our perception of tomorrow because it doesn’t actually exist. You can learn to appreciate what you have in your life “now.”

So as we look to the coming year, with this new coming of change, perhaps we should ask ourselves: “What needs to be changed in my world to help me experience the process?” or perhaps more poignantly, “What do I want to change about my experience that will bring me joy?”

It’s not necessary to uproot yourself and erase who you are to increase your enjoyment in life. Nor is it required. All you need to do to change your world for the better is to simply decide that the world you create comes from deep within. The most direct road to the world you want is the one where you accept that you are responsible for laying the pavement and maintaining it.

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We must become the change we wish to see in others.

Only you can change your world, only you can change your perception, and ultimately only you are responsible for it.

Sure it would be easy for us to simply lay blame on someone else for creating a better world. Deep inside each of us knows what is wrong. It isn’t our government’s responsibility. It isn’t the responsibility of our clergymen or our therapists. The responsibility of changing our life belongs to us.

So when we look to the year 2012 and what it holds for us, we can rest comfortably in realizing that the world will go on. It has survived for millions of years before man, and it will be here for millions of years after. The only difference will be in how

much it has changed.

If you truly want to change the world, start where it will have the most impact, start within your own heart. Create your change.

••••••••••••••••••

Mark E. Sanders is an Intuitive Psychic Medium, Author, Inspirational Poet, and Spirit Artist. Currently Mark works as a Spiritual Counselor with Continuity of Life. For the past 30 years he has studied the vast array of the worlds spiritual belief systems, mythologies, and philosophies. Much of this time has been spent on a journey of discovering spiritual truth. As a result Mark is now on the path of a spiritual teacher, sharing those truths with all who wish to find them for ones self. You can find much of Mark’s philosophies chronicled on www.continuityoflife.com.

Gandhi

Gandhi’s Top 10 Fundamentals for Changing the World

By Henrik Edberg

“You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.”

“The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world’s problem.”

“If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.”

Mahatma Gandhi needs no long introduction. Everyone knows about the man who lead the Indian people to independence from British rule in 1947. So let’s just move on to some of my favourite tips from Mahatma Gandhi.

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1. Change yourself.

“You must be the change you want to see in the world.”

“As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world – that is the myth of the atomic age – as in being able to remake ourselves.”

If you change yourself you will change your world. If you change how you think then you will change how you feel and what actions you take. And so the world around you will change. Not only because you are now viewing your environment through new lenses of thoughts and emotions but also because the change within can allow you to take action in ways you wouldn’t have – or maybe even have thought about – while stuck in your old thought patterns.

And the problem with changing your outer world without changing yourself is that you will still be you when you reach that change you have strived for.

You will still have your flaws, anger, negativity, self-sabotaging tendencies etc. intact.

And so in this new situation you will still not find what you hoped for since your mind is still seeping with that negative stuff. And if you get more without having some insight into and distance from your ego it may grow more powerful. Since your ego

loves to divide things, to find enemies and to create separation it may start to try to create even more problems and conflicts in your life and world.

2. You are in control.

“Nobody can hurt me without my permission.”

What you feel and how you react to something is always up to you. There may be a “normal” or a common way to react to different things. But that’s mostly just all it is.

You can choose your own thoughts, reactions and emotions to pretty much everything. You don’t have to freak out, overreact of even react in a negative way. Perhaps not every time or instantly. Sometimes a knee-jerk reaction just goes off. Or an old thought habit kicks in.

And as you realize that no-one outside of yourself can actually control how you feel you can start to incorporate this thinking into your daily life and develop it as a thought habit. A habit that you can grow stronger and stronger over time. Doing this makes life a whole lot easier and more pleasurable.

3. Forgive and let it go.

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

“An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”

Fighting evil with evil won’t help anyone. And as said in the previous tip, you always choose how to react to something.

When you can incorporate such a thought habit more and more into your life then you can react in a way that is more useful to you and others.

You realize that forgiving and letting go of the past will do you and the people in your world a great service. And spending your time in some negative memory won’t help you after you have learned the lessons you can learn from that experience.

You’ll probably just cause yourself more suffering and paralyze yourself from taking action in this present moment.

If you don’t forgive then you let the past and another person to control how you feel. By forgiving you release yourself from those bonds. And then you can focus totally on, for instance, the next point.

4. Without action you aren’t going anywhere.

“An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching.”

Without taking action very little will be done. However, taking action can be hard and difficult. There can be much inner resistance.

And so you may resort to preaching, as Gandhi says.

Or reading and studying endlessly. And feeling like you are moving forward. But getting little or no practical results in real life.

So, to really get where you want to go and to really understand yourself and your world you need to practice. Books can mostly just bring you knowledge. You have to take action and translate that knowledge into results and understanding.

You can check out a few effective tips to overcome this problem in How to Take More Action: 9 Powerful Tips. Or you can move on to the next point for more on the best tip for taking more action that I have found so far.

5. Take care of this moment.

“I do not want to foresee the future. I am concerned with taking care of the present. God has given me no control over the moment following.”

The best way that I have found to overcome the inner resistance that often stops us from taking action is to stay in the present as much as possible and to be accepting.

Why? Well, when you are in the present moment you don’t worry about the next moment that you can’t control anyway. And the resistance to action that comes from you imagining negative future consequences – or reflecting on past failures – of your actions loses its power. And so it becomes easier to both take action and to keep your focus on this moment and perform better.

Have a look at 8 Ways to Return to the Present Moment for tips on how quickly step into the now. And remember that reconnecting with and staying in the now is a mental habit – a sort of muscle – that you grow. Over time it becomes more powerful and makes it easier to slip into the present moment.

6. Everyone is human.

“I claim to be a simple individual liable to err like any other fellow mortal. I own, however, that I have humility enough to confess my errors and to retrace my steps.”

“It is unwise to be too sure of one’s own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err.”

When you start to make myths out of people – even though they may have produced extraordinary results – you run the risk of becoming disconnected from them. You can start to feel like you could never achieve similar things that they did because they are so very different. So it’s important to keep in mind that everyone is just a human being no matter who they are.

And I think it’s important to remember that we are all human and prone to make mistakes. Holding people to unreasonable standards will only create more unnecessary conflicts in your world and negativity within you.

It’s also important to remember this to avoid falling into the pretty useless habit of beating yourself up over mistakes that you have made. And instead be able to see with clarity where you went wrong and what you can learn from your mistake. And then try again.

7. Persist.

“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.”

Be persistent. In time the opposition around you will fade and fall away. And your inner resistance and self-sabotaging tendencies that want to hold you back and keep you like you have always been will grow weaker.

Find what you really like to do. Then you’ll find the inner motivation to keep going, going and going. You can also find a lot of useful tips on how keep your motivation up in How to Get Out of a Motivational Slump and 25 Simple Ways to Motivate Yourself.

One reason Gandhi was so successful with his method of non-violence was because he and his followers were so persistent. They just didn’t give up.

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Success or victory will seldom come as quickly as you would have liked it to. I think one of the reasons people don’t get what they want is simply because they give up too soon.

The time they think an achievement will require isn’t the same amount of time it usually takes to achieve that goal. This faulty belief partly comes from the world we live in. A world full of magic pill solutions where advertising continually promises us that we can lose a lot of weight or earn a ton of money in just 30 days.

You can read more about this in One Big Mistake a Whole Lot of People Make.

Finally, one useful tip to keep your persistence going is to listen to Gandhi’s third quote in this article and keep a sense of humor. It can lighten things up at the toughest of times.

8. See the good in people and help them.

“I look only to the good qualities of men. Not being faultless myself, I won’t presume to probe into the faults of others.”

“Man becomes great exactly in the degree in which he works for the welfare of his fellow-men.”

“I suppose leadership at one time meant muscles; but today it means getting along with people.”

There is pretty much always something good in people.

And things that may not be so good. But you can choose what things to focus on. And if you want improvement then focusing on the good in people is a useful choice. It also makes life easier for you as your world and relationships become more pleasant and positive.

And when you see the good in people it becomes easier to motivate yourself to be of service to them. By being of service to other people, by giving them value you not only make their lives better. Over time you tend to get what you give. And the people you help may feel more inclined to help other people. And so you, together, create an upward spiral of positive change that grows and becomes stronger.

By strengthening your social skills you can become a more influential person and make this upward spiral even stronger. A few articles that may provide you with useful advice in that department are Do You Make These 10 Mistakes in a Conversation? and Dale Carnegie’s Top 10 Tips for Improving Your Social Skills. Or you can just move on to the next tip.

9. Be congruent, be authentic, be your true self.

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”

“Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed. Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well.”

I think that one of the best tips for improving your social skills is to behave in a congruent manner and communicate in an authentic way. People seem to really like authentic communication. And there is much inner enjoyment to be found when your thoughts, words and actions are aligned. You feel powerful and good about yourself.

When words and thoughts are aligned then that shows through in your communication. Because now you have your voice tonality and body language – some say they are over 90 percent of communication – in alignment with your words.

With these channels in alignment people tend to really

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listen to what you’re saying. You are communicating without incongruency, mixed messages or perhaps a sort of phoniness.

Also, if your actions aren’t in alignment with what you’re communicating then you start to hurt your own belief in what you can do. And other people’s belief in you too.

10. Continue to grow and evolve. ”Constant development is the law of life, and a man who always tries to maintain his dogmas in order to appear consistent drives himself into a false position.”

You can pretty much always improve your skills, habits or re-evaluate your evaluations. You can gain deeper understanding of yourself and the world.

Sure, you may look inconsistent or like you don’t know what you are doing from time to time. You may have trouble to act congruently or to communicate authentically. But if you don’t then you will, as Gandhi says, drive yourself into a false position.

A place where you try to uphold or cling to your old views to appear consistent while you realise within that something is wrong.

It’s not a fun place to be. To choose to grow and evolve is a happier and more useful path to take.

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My name is Henrik Edberg. I live in Sweden, a smallish country in the north of Europe. I am a 31 year old journalism major that has dived into the topic of personal development and immersed myself over the past 5+ years. I implement what I have learned and I learn from my own experiments and experience and figure out how to build a better life. I’m the author of two books, The Power of Positivity and The Art of Relaxed Productivity, as well as the creater of The Positivity Blog. Find out more at www.PositivityBlog.com.