CHILDREN Transformation Magazine

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Section Title

INSPIRATION 6 Allowing Your Success: The Power of Fun 7 Children at Alta Vista Care Sew Much 8 Mother of the Week 9 Positive Change: Are You Kidding Me? 15 Explore Your Inner Child through Video Gaming 24 The Paint Can of Life TRANSFORMATION 4 Awakening: Reflections from Childhood 12 Children on the Leading Edge 20 Lessons from the Journey of Life TOOLS & TIPS 10 Find the Truth in Tiny Hands 23 Spiritually Speaking: Color Your World 25 Relating to Your Older Children 27 Ask Dr. ZZ SPIRITUALITY 11 Why Does This Always Happen to Me? 13 Reflections... Children as Our Teachers 14 Angels: The Rising and Setting of the Sun 19 The Way It Is: Childhood Memories 19 Holy Mole Cartoon HEALTHY LIVING 16 Therapeutic Grade Essential Oils 22 Stay Positive, Stay Healthy

Š Copyright 2012 Transformation Magazine. All rights reserved.

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Transformation

Awakening

An Apple Spiritually Enlightened Relationships Speaking Dr. with the Editor aZZ Day Ask

withD.Rev. Marla Sanderson Natalie Amsden With Carol Roberts, M.D. with MarciaBender Natalie, Publisher of Transformation Magazine, has worked with thousands of people seeking to live a life of purpose and genuine relationship with their true selves, others, and their world. She is the former Director of a counseling center for at risk teenagers and their parents. She is also a public speaker and leads workshops and retreats on Practical Spirituality, Finding Joy, Discovering Your Purpose, and Enlightened Relationships. www.transformationservices.org

•••••••••••••••••• Reflections from Childhood

From the first time we open our eyes we begin imitating our parents. When our caretakers smile at us we learn to smile.

When our caretakers get frustrated we learn frustration. When we meet other children, especially in early elementary school, it is often comical how much they act and talk like their parents. Like little birds they parrot what they commonly hear their parents say.

As children age, they develop their own personalities and identities, but inevitably they take on roles that their parents modeled for them. A child that is very giving comes from an environment with a parent who acts this way. At the same time, a child who is a bully to others learns this behavior via personal experience.

Through adolescence and into early adulthood, most of us begin trying on additional roles we observed during our childhood. We experience our first romantic relationships and try on what we’ve been taught about relationships for the first time. For some, this means love and companionship, but for many these roles follow the scripts of neglect, abuse, clinging, off-again-on-again, needy attachment, etc. It is extremely common for young adults who were abused by their parents to end up in abusive relationships.

It is unfortunate how few people have truly good role models growing up, especially in the romance department.

Not only do we begin imitating the relationships we had or observed as we enter adulthood, it is also common for us to follow the same path academically and professionally as well. It’s no surprise when children go into “the family business” or go into the same types of careers as their parents.

It is almost cliché to mention the child whose parents want them to take over the family business and the inner battle and identity conflict that ensues as the child makes the decision to take a different path. We all experience these inner battles, most often on a smaller scale, each time we take a step back, observe our lives and our options, and choose to step off the well-worn path to follow a new one.

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The silver lining here is that we all have the CHOICE to learn from what we experienced as a child, rather than continue to repeat the patterns and roles we were taught.

One of the areas we can see the influence of our own childhood the most is in the expressions of our own children.

There are two common outcomes when someone becomes a parent: either they fall automatically into repeating the roles of their parents or they go to the exact opposite extreme. Sometimes the person who was abused continues the trend and abuses their children as well. Other times a person who was neglected by their parents becomes incredibly loving and sometimes even over attached to or controlling of their children.

It takes a conscious decision to choose a different path—to break the patterns of our childhood.

It takes an even more enlightened decision to thoroughly observe ourselves and our history and choose what type of parent we want to be. Ideally, we take the parts we value from what our parents taught us and leave the rest. Each generation, if they make the careful and conscious decision to do this, improves on the last.

When living on unconscious autopilot, it is easy to see how one can fall into patterns and roles learned during childhood. Simply taking time to reflect on our childhood experiences and our perspectives on them gives us a tremendously powerful opportunity for growth.

By bringing our past into the light, we can transmute the darkness into our most powerful assets.

The following activities can be a great starting point for bringing the light of our consciousness into our understanding of who we are, where we came from, and who we want to be.

Who we are: Our parents offer distinct viewpoints on life. The contrast from which we come forth gives us a unique perspective on life. The following activity offers a tool to evaluate why you may be who you are and who you want to be.

• Make a list of your caretakers’ positive and negative qualities and be specific. Caretakers can include parents, family members, or others who cared for you or had a strong influence on you while growing up. For most people this is two or three people.

• Now go back through this list and circle the qualities that you can see within yourself. Consider which caretakers influenced your current personality and demeanor the most and why.

• Make a list of your caretakers’ beliefs about life (meaning, roles, political, or religious beliefs, etc).

• Circle any beliefs that you have taken on as your own.

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Put a star next to those beliefs or views that you have not adopted.

Take a moment to consider where your caretakers differed from each other on their views of life. Ask yourself if or how you have accommodated both viewpoints or developed your own beliefs somewhere in between.

For each major caretaker, ask yourself what you would say his or her life “purpose” or mission is. What were they passionate about? What did they seem to be trying to accomplish in the world?

Now, ask yourself in what way the missions of your caretakers inspired your current ambitions and values? Did you feel drawn to grab one of their torches and carry the flame?

Or, did you feel the need to snuff one out and ignite a new, brighter fire?

How we parent: Answer the following questions: • What aspects of my parents’/caretakers’ parenting strategies do I feel were effective?

• What aspects of my parents’/caretakers’ parenting strategies do I feel were ineffective?

• In what ways am I parenting my child(ren) in the same way I was mentored (positively or negatively)?

• In what ways am I parenting my child(ren) differently than I was parented?

• In what ways would I want to see my own child(ren) parent differently than I am or have?

• What changes could I make going forward that would make me the parent I truly want to be? (It is never too late.)

mind recognizes the reflection of their Imago within them.

It’s important to note that the negative traits of our caretakers, especially if they were extreme, have a strong influence on this Imago. This is why it can be so hard to stop attracting the “same person” over and over again. So, why would we be hard-wired to seek out partners who mirror our parents, even if it means re-traumatizing ourselves by living with a partner that triggers all of our old wounds? Well, to heal our wounds of course!

We Need to Ask Ourselves: • What qualities from the list above do I see currently or previously in the partners I have been attracted to?

• Are there any qualities I continually seem to attract? If so, are they are qualities I do not want? If so, what could I do stop this pattern?

• Can I see progress throughout my relationships? Have I used my experiences as learning tools for healing? Am I attracting partners now who have more of the positive traits of my caretakers, and less of the negative?

We are all reflections of our childhood until we look ourselves in the mirror and bring awareness into our lives. Regardless of whether you are without child, currently have children, or are an empty nester, take care to be conscious as you pass the torch to the next generation. The fire lies in you.

The type of relationships we create: Have you ever caught yourself reacting to a romantic partner as if you were talking to your parent or the way one of your parents reacted to the other? If you haven’t, you just weren’t paying attention because we all do it. It is incredibly important to become self-aware and to learn to differentiate between our unconscious reactions and our true self’s response to our partner.

The theory behind Imago Therapy by Harvil Hendrix suggests that our unconscious mind takes the qualities of our caretakers, as we discussed above, and combines them into one identity, called the Imago. This Imago is a blueprint that our unconscious mind seeks to find within our romantic partners.

Most of us have experienced romantic partners who have some of the distinct qualities of one or more of our caretakers. Girls marry their fathers, right? Well, according to Imago theory this is by design. When we meet a prospective new partner, our unconscious mind automatically picks up on the energetic blueprint of this person, evaluates it against the Imago and the positive and negative traits contained within it, and determines whether they are a match. This is a an important explanation for why experiments have shown that when those placed in a room with 100 people who meet their criteria for being “attractive” they will only actually feel attracted to one or two. It’s because their unconscious

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Inspiration • • • • Terez Hartmann is the President/CEO of ALLOWING Your Success & BEYOND!, LLC, author of the book ALLOWING Your Success!, a professional Keynote Speaker, Retreat and Workshop Facilitator, Coach, Recording Artist, Show Host and Singer-Songwriter. For more about Terez, access to FREE Allowing resources and “Words, Music, Adventures & BEYOND for LETTING Good Happen and ENJOYING the Journey!” visit www.AllowingYourSuccess.com To order her book, ALLOWING Your Success! visit www.Transformation-Publishing.com

•••••••••••••••••• The Power of FUN!

We can all learn about happiness—which is success— from THE happiest people on earth, Children!

Any road that we think has the potential to lead us to success all boils down to this: We think we’ll feel good (or simply better) when we get there. Those who truly understand the Law of Attraction know that focus is everything, so when you choose to focus on feeling good NOW and remember that NOW is also when you ALLOW, you get to ENJOY now (oh darn!) AND “feed your babies” (your desires, dreams, visions) with the VERY THING that brings them to life! Because most children make it their mission in life to have fun with EVERYTHING, it’s no wonder they’re so doggone happy! Perhaps they’re on to something?

There’s No Fun on the Fence!

FUN is only truly productive when we hold that side order of guilt. If you engage in fun, yet feel guilty about it, it’s just like putting mud instead of fudge on your ice cream sundae!

Though you may be able to work around it somewhat, the overall sweetness of your FUN day (and the success you are seeking) is tainted and delayed. This being said, if you’re inner drill sergeant is saying “NO!” to play time in a strong way, it is actually far better to go ahead and do what you feel you need to do right now while doing your best to find the fun in your task at hand (more about this below).

On the other hand, forcing yourself to be “productive” while you are resenting not being able to play results in another version of that icky muddy sundae. As Snoopy would say, “BLEAH!!”

The best course of action? Get off the fence and write yourself a permission slip to either go out and play or find the fun in taking care of business. Once you’ve made your decision, focus COMPLETELY and FULLY on doing just THAT. Get off that fence to bring on the fudge (and FUN), baby!! YUM!!

Find the Fun in It When it feels like dedicated play time needs to wait for now, you can still opt to find some kind of fun right where you are! Before you dig in to your to-dos, consider adding some fun elements to your environment or experience like:

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Wear something that feels silly or fun, like a goofy hat or t-shirt Listen to up-beat music (without words if you need to focus and write) Keep a crazy-looking object, stuffed animal, or beverage container that inspires a smile or giggle in a place where you can see it Take a break every half hour/hour to get up and play with your pet/kids or: Watch a funny video.

Read something funny/entertaining.

Crank up a song you like and sing/dance along.

Take a short walk somewhere close by and focus on things like cars with crazy or unique details, stickers, paint colors, etc. or neat/unique architecture, plants, and flowers.

Look at photos of places or people you love/enjoy and picture being in that place or with your favorite person/people.

Play a game or use a fun app of some kind.

A Legacy of FUN One day my husband and I were preparing to meet our son’s first “official” girlfriend. This was a new experience for me, but being that I was one of those “cool” parents who makes her living following her bliss, including performing at hip places like Hard Rock and singing Back-Eyed Peas and Lady Gaga tunes, I felt confident that this would go well. Shortly after meeting this lovely young lady, Sean then decided to tell her about me! How interesting it was to learn that one of my most redeeming qualities was… <insert dramatic pause here>… that I sing a “silly bunny song” when I see rabbits. What????!!!!!

Dude!!! What about the fact that I’m an author, speaker, recording artist, entertainer, retreat facilitator, etc. who rocks the house and does fabulously important stuff like helping others transform their lives? Why not talk about THAT?? Nope. Nada.

Not one peep. Singer of silly bunny songs is all I got. Ouch.

Though MY inner child indulged in a full-blown pout for a moment or two, once I was able to approach this experience from a different perspective, I realized that my boy had just taught me a thing or two about what really matters—the times we’ve spent engaging in joy, laughter, love and FUN. When you think about it, the fact that we adults want to see 18,000 places before we die, still like playing with toys (albeit, bigger ones), or have a “bucket list” full of cool things to do simply proves that we all have the same agenda: We ALL want to have FUN and ENJOY our trip around the sun! Another benefit: When you feel good, you are naturally more productive, people are drawn to you, relationships improve, you produce endorphins (which help your cells and body thrive) AND you have the power to make a REAL difference in the world. Perhaps adding “singer of silly bunny songs” to the legacy I leave behind is also a pretty cool and important thing after all?

The Bottom Line on The Power of FUN When our time is done on this trip around the sun And we reflect upon what we have become The more we have loved and had times of fun The less we feel we’ve left undone.

Play-time has officially BEGUN!!!

Inspiration

By Linda Commito The library/media room at Alta Vista elementary school is buzzing with activity as class after class arrive to participate in their school’s service project, Alta Vista Cares Sew Much, spearheaded by their progressive principal, Dr. Barbara Shirley. The individual tables, seating four students at each, are piled with large squares of fleece—warm, cuddly, and colorful—which many hands have cut and are now tying together to make throws. One hundred to be exact! Throws that soon will be on their way to the All Children’s Hospital, where they will make the day brighter and warmer for young cancer patients.

The idea for the project was inspired by one of Alta’s Vista’s students, a fifth grader named James, who had been taught to sew by his grandmother. Together they made pillow cases for cancer patients at this same hospital.

Although the blanket project is voluntary, not a single student has chosen to opt out. Ms. Denegris’ third grade class is the next to enter. She tells her students, “It’s an honor to help children who are not as lucky as you are. But feel free to sit over there (pointing to a large empty table off to the side) and work on something else if you want to.” Not one student takes her up on that offer, deciding instead to contribute what they can to the project.

The children busily start tying the top and bottom pieces of felt together to create a thicker blanket. One young girl, who has already tied a few, patiently shows some of her friends how to make the knots.

One boy, Thorin says, “It feels good to help people who have been sick or hurt.”

Kaliyah, who is also 10, chimes in. “I was in the hospital four times,” she says. “They will be happy because people care and are trying to help them. I feel happy and confident because I can help.”

Another third grader, Emanuel, says “Making the blankets is all about teamwork.”

Martin is proud of his school saying, “Alta Vista really cares about Children’s Hospital and the kids who have cancer or need surgery.”

The conversation continues as each student shares what work-

ing on this project means to him or her.

Kaitlyn is no novice at making blankets to make others feel good. “My little sister is five, and she was so sick she had to be home-schooled. She made a blanket for her sister, and adds, “It feels good to be making a blanket for someone else. Another time I had a friend who was sick and I made a blanket for her. She told me, ‘Thank you. You’re a nice friend.’”

Not only did the students from kindergarten to 5th grade help to make the blankets, but they raised some of the money, bringing in their pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters, to pay for the material. Kaitlyn was so happy to help and proud of the fact that, “I made money mowing people’s lawns, babysitting, and walking the dogs. I earned $60 and a friend gave me another $20. I gave it to the school. I used some of the fleece for my sister’s blanket.”

Madeleine, who is 8, said that when she heard about the blanket program she took her $20 allowance money and said, “I don’t need any toys or anything,” as she made her contribution to the school.

Another classmate, Alexander, sitting nearby, said: “This is helpful to do because sick people don’t have these things.” When asked what their reaction might be to getting a blanket, Ashiley volunteered, “The person who receives it will feel proud and thankful and say, ‘How did they do this?’ My mom was in the hospital. I was really sad.”

Without a doubt, everyone who contributed their hands, hearts, or money agreed,

“It feels good to help people who are sick.”

One little girl was overheard saying, “I hope I did it right. I did it the best I could. I did it with love.”

After these mountains of blankets were completed, they were put into boxes, which had been decorated by the students. Then 50 students were selected by lottery to deliver the blankets to the hospital, an hour away.

Ms. Nancy Cortez-Knapp, who is the volunteer coordinator at Alta Vista, was one of the five chaperones on the bus and said, “The kids couldn’t sleep the night before because they were so excited. One second grader, Michelle, had a coin purse filled with coins to spend as she wanted. She said, “I want to give it to the school for the blankets.”

The highlight for Ms. Cortez-Knapp was “the unity and bond created with all of the children, volunteers, and faculty. Everyone at every level from 5 to 90 was able to participate. It was a great experience. I knew we accomplished what we wanted to do.”

Dr. Shirley is proud of the students at Alta Vista. She said, “While our children come from impoverished, diverse backgrounds where 94 percent of the students are on the free and reduced lunch program,

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they have learned that there are other children who have much greater needs than themselves. They have gained confidence, worked together towards a common goal, and have learned the importance of giving to others.”

Linda Commito is the author of Love Is the New Currency and a volunteer at Alta Vista elementary school. For more information visit www.loveisthenewcurrency.com.

Inspiration

Mother of the

Week

By Susan Fernandez

It’s not easy to win the Mother of the Week Award. You compete to see who does the most outrageous thing as a parent in any given week. The very first one went to my friend Mary Beth.

She had one of those days when everything went wrong at work. When she got home, she was met with yet another assortment of disasters: the cat had thrown up in the living room, the toilet was stopped up, the kids were fighting, the dog had cut its foot, and four large garbage cans had to be hauled the length of the driveway. As she was wearily dragging the last of the cans out, her five-year-old son ran up with a flower he had just picked from a neighbor’s yard. “I’m sorry, Micah,” she said, “I just can’t accept that flower.”

My friend Sue used to gain an extra hour of sleep in the morning by putting a banana in a paper sack into her son’s crib the night before. It took him an hour to get the banana out of the bag, peel it, and eat it before he cried for her. That was simply a good idea, not what earned her Mother of the Week. She earned that when we were talking about how long kids’ things can go without being washed. I said that Alex, at that time about three, sometimes wears the same clothes for two or three days. Sue’s son slept on top of his sheets, covered by a sleeping bag. “That’s nothing,” she said. “I haven’t washed Jeff’s sheets in, oh, about two years.”

I won my first award on an actual Mother’s Day when I discovered in Alex’s jeans a four-day-old note from his social studies teacher saying that he hasn’t turned in a report on Greece that was due a month ago, is doing poorly on tests, and is failing the class. So I put Alex to work on the report. Luckily he had assembled all the facts. He just had writer’s block. I also met with his teachers and got him back on track.

I won my second award also on a holiday. One year we decided to eat out for Thanksgiving, and we had a great meal at a dressy restaurant. Alex ordered fruit in champagne and ham with rum/raisin sauce, and milk with just the right amount of chocolate. He still had room for Bananas Foster. Later in the day, after

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the lunch had worn off, the kids got hungry again, and I offered sandwiches. Cheese. Meatballs.

“What I really want,” said Alex, “is ho-ho’s and dingdongs.” I gave him money for 7-11. Mother of the Week.

When we lived in Houston we had a two-story house.

During fire prevention week I made rope ladders for the kids and installed them while they were at school. Andy was two years older than Alex, and both boys were in high school. “Go up to your room and see your surprise,” I told Andy when he came home.

“Oh, boy, oh boy,” racing up the stairs. The silence of the disappointed. “What’s this?”

“It’s a knotted rope for you to escape with if you are ever trapped by a fire in your room.”

“No shit.” They did accept the idea eventually, and Alex even tried to practice with his, but realized that rappelling down a brick wall is harder than it looks.

My most spectacular Mother of the Week award was also on a holiday. I decided to fill the kids’ Easter baskets with carob bunnies instead of chocolate, nuts instead of jellybeans, fruit instead of candy bars. The disappointment in the room when they saw the baskets was palpable.

“Well, this is certainly a nutritious Easter,” Andy said. It didn’t take long for him to come up with an alternate plan. “I’m going to the drugstore across the street and see if they have any Easter baskets,” he told me, “so that Alex won’t be disappointed.”

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Susan Fernandez is a relance writer. She can be reached at suefernandez@mail.com.

Inspiration

Randy owns Triple 3 Marketing. He’s a long term advocate for positive change, having owned community magazines since 1999. Randy sold Positive Change Media in April 2009 and took a year off before launching Triple 3 Marketing. In addition to helping business owners, he also provides private coaching. Randy has a masters degree in communication arts from the University of Wisconsin at Madison where he studied persuasion and attitude change. Contact Randy at randy@triple3marketing.com.

•••••••••••••••••• Are You Kidding Me?

I enjoy the English language because the words come from so many interesting places and traditions. Consider the phrase “are you kidding me?” The word kidding refers to engaging in joking and horseplay as in “kidding around.” The root word kid refers to young goats and children. Kidding implies playful intentions. Being more “kid like” can also reduce stress and provide balance from our more serious pursuits.

As a child, my friends and I found plenty of time for horseplay.

That included wrapping each other up in tape, climbing trees, food fights, making wine out of grape juice, burning insects with a magnifying glass, exploring anywhere that was off limits, making forts, faking farts, sneaking out at night as Ninja warriors, and that was on Monday.

Some of my favorite memories as a boy involved imaginary battles with Nazis, Indians, vampires, werewolves, aliens, kid-eating dinosaurs, and other scary things we encountered in movies, television shows, books, and comics.

Of course we always won these tussles in our make believe world.

Part of my upbringing also involved cultural stereotypes where the clever and moral white man was stronger and smarter than everyone else (think John Wayne). My early sense of American exceptionalism took a hit when I read Bury my Heart at Wounded Knee and learned the real story about how the West was won. I’ve been reconciling American myth making ever since.

The varnished version of American History has fueled my interest in serious inquiry. Our history would serve us better if

we moved beyond the mythology of a small number of presidents to consider the complexity of issues, events, and social change.

The consequence of down playing less favorable aspects of our national story is evident when you listen to adults making up history to assert their ideology. Our grandchildren are likely to encounter two versions of our history; one that focuses on our divinely superior nature, and a more modest version based on what actually happened.

The most complete history book I’ve read about America is A People’s History of the United States by Howard Zinn. An American bomber pilot in World War II, Zinn addresses less flattering chapters of our story related to the struggle of poor people, farmers, union workers, women, minorities, and children.

Reflecting on the mythical and authentic past is a reminder of why being playful is important to adults. We need to take breaks from the misinformation, hype, and stress that define our culture. Horseplay and humor in general can balance out life’s drama. How else can we benefit from being more kid like in this time called now? How about being in the present moment and enjoying little things that are easy to take for granted?

I think of nature when I consider these questions. I still marvel to see a spider weaving its web or a woodpecker hunting for insects in a tall tree. I noticed a swallowtail butterfly the other day spending 15 minutes inspecting most of our yard before finding a spot to rest. I’ve also been monitoring a green anole (lizard) the past week, which is living in a bucket with about three inches of water. I was trying to determine if the artificial pool was a trap or a convenient habitat. I finally noticed small mosquito larval swimming about, so the structure is providing the anole with food.

I completed the Florida Master Naturalist Program through the University of Florida in June. Studying ecology in the classroom and at many area preserves took me back to my childhood memories in Pennsylvania searching the woods for anything that crawled, hopped, or slithered. Although I’m more familiar with the species of wildlife and habitat I encounter today, my enjoyment of nature has remained constant since childhood.

Someday, I plan to live in a cabin in the woods writing books, while appreciating nature and taking care of pets and plants.

Paying attention to nature has afforded me recent encounters with baby possums, baby raccoons, black racer snakes, and many species of birds, amphibians, and insects.

Noticing the subtle nuances of wildlife requires patience, and it’s always time well spent.

Invest a half day this month to visit one of your area preserves or parks to see how many species of life you can notice. Take a pair of binoculars, a wildlife guide, and your childlike enthusiasm to enrich your experience. Why do these particular species live here and why does it matter? These are good questions for children and adults alike.

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Tools & Tips

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by Dodie Ulery Kids don’t come with a book of instructions. However, they do come complete with the next best thing: HANDS! If you can see their hands, you can know their innermost secrets. The shape of children’s hands and fingers reveals how their minds process information and provides insight about their general personality traits.

To consider the origins of this intuitive art, we must look back to the earliest days of Earth’s history, to the Hindus of East and the most remote periods of the Aryan civilizations. Palmistry has been practiced in the northwest province of India by the Joshi caste from its conception to the present day. Books were unearthed in the cave temples of India that contain hundreds of well-drawn illustrations, with records of how, when, and where specific hand characteristics are to be interpreted. This ancient wisdom spread to China, Tibet, Persia, Egypt, and eventually to the Grecian civilization, to which we credit the form of palmistry and hand analysis used today.

Using this information today can help you to understand children and their personalities and to identify the best ways to focus their energies and promote their strengths, especially if they are too young to communicate their interests and needs effectively themselves.

Hand Signals Now let’s take a look at some of the different palm and finger characteristics and configurations that you can easily use to identify common traits in children: • A long palm and fingers is a common feature of writers and thinkers. They analyze everything. An unusu-

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ally long little finger shows a born communicator. You’ll never have trouble getting this child to talk. On the contrary, you’ll have to deal with a chatterbox and one of those little darlings who forever wants to know “why.” If the other fingers are unusually long they show confidence, humility, and compassion.

Small hands are the worker bees. Busy, busy, busy! They’re always on the move. You’ll need to keep up and you’ll need to provide constant stimulation for these children. Provide hands-on activities, not just a computer.

Children with long thin palms with tapering fingers and almond shaped nails: they’re in touch with their sensitive side.

Allow them to talk about what they’re feeling and never laugh at them when they do share. Be there to support these little ones.

A square palm usually denotes a dependable and reliable individual. Children with this nature can sometimes lack spontaneity and may be afraid to try new things. It’ll be your job to keep things interesting and encourage them to look outside the box for activities and ways of solving problems, and maybe even encourage them to try things that might appear scary.

A large, full, round palm with fat fingers shows extremes of personality. Generally, these kids may desire everything they see on TV and everything that everyone else has. They’ll squander their allowance first chance they get! Take time to teach these children about moderation and finding happiness within rather than through material possessions.

When the ring finger is shorter than the index finger you’re looking at a daredevil who feels a need to take unnecessary chances. Try to find new, safe, and exciting activities to keep these children busy and challenged.

The thumb illustrates the strength of an individual’s ego and their physical vitality. The thumb is believed to represent someone’s ability to assert hisself or herself in the world. The average thumb length reaches the bottom of the index finger.

The longer-than-average thumb shows an abundance of energy and a forceful personality. Watch for tendencies to push other children around and nip them in the bud! This could be a bully in the making.

The shorter than average thumb shows a person who is lacking in self-confidence and demonstrates a very weak will. If this short thumb is fat and stubby as well, it indicates a child that may lack compassion and judges others quickly and harshly. It’s advisable to take time to teach these young ones how to appreciate and celebrate the differences of individuals and how the concept of universal oneness connects us all.

Every thumb is made up of an upper phalange and a lower phalange. The upper denotes will; the lower denotes logic.

The longer the phalange, the more pronounced these characteristics will be in the individual. Therefore, the thumb with the long upper phalange will be stubborn. Compromise will be difficult. However, the longer lower phalange denotes

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higher levels of reason and logic. This is a child you can deal with.

Finally, let’s look at the pinky finger. If it appears usually short compared to the rest of the fingers, you’re seeing someone who will find it difficult to grow up and accept responsibility for their actions. This child will always need reassurance and mothering. If the finger is crooked, lying may be an issue you’ll need to address at an early age to avoid lifelong problems.

These traits can be changed as the child grows and experiences life. With tenderness and encouragement, children

can be taught to be more compassionate, logical, and confident.

That’s what good parenting is all about.

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Dodie Ulery is a native of Florida and a local resident. In addition to being a writer, she is an award-winning artist specializing in fiber arts and an award-winning freelance photographer. In her spare time she works as a hypnotist, motivational speaker, psychic, and teacher. Her second book, PALMISTRY TO GO was released in January of 2008. She is available for consultations, parties, and public speaking. Dodie can be reached through her websites at http://www.dodieulery.com or http://www.palmistrytogo.net or http:// www.definingmiracles.com.

Spirituality

Marla Sanderson has been a student of spiritual practice for more than 35 years. She began as Assistant Director of The Next Step, a psychic and spiritual community in a New Mexico ghost town.

As workshop leader, teacher, practitioner, and minister, she has led relationship and personal growth workshops, taught psychic development and meditation, Living Love, and the Science of Mind.

Marla is available for workshops and speaking engagements. She recently founded the New Thought Center for Creative Living. www. newthoughtctr.org

••••••••••••••••••

Why Does This Always Happen to Me? I like to think we were born into unconditional love, but as children our little minds soaked up everything around us, and we absorbed a lot of ideas about the way things are, what we deserve, and how we should be.

We learned this stuff from the grownups—parents, siblings, neighbors, friends, teachers, and even church folks. They meant well and didn’t know any better, but their ideas limited our self-concept.

If our grownups felt cheated by life, we might have acquired the idea that, “Life is unfair” or, “They’re out to get us.”

This can keep us feeling unworthy, so that good things always seem to be out of reach.

Our prosperity programming might have come from an adult frustrated with not having enough.

If they thought cheap, we learned to be cheap. Even if we have overcome some of their limiting ideas, on some level we are probably still influenced by them.

The programming we received as kids affects every part of our world. If our family fought or was cold and distant, we’ll have similar relationships until we figure out how to do it differently. If they were affectionate and appreciated each other, we will have more of that.

Some people outgrow their early start, but most don’t even know how they got that way, or why things happen to them the way they do.

We like to hang out where we’re comfortable, so we recreate our past associations wherever we go, until we expand our minds to include something greater or bigger or better. If most of the people you hang out with think the way you do, maybe you haven’t moved far from home.

To be happy, loving, and successful you need to outgrow some of your limiting concepts about who you are and what you can be.

That “old suit” is a hand-me-down, and you don’t have to wear it.

Your life is proof of what you believe.

You can change your beliefs so they serve you, rather than limit you. Look for ways to see things differently. Don’t be afraid to rethink an opinion. Don’t judge yourself. Appreciate yourself, and you’ll find a whole lot more of life to enjoy.

You have a direct connection to Infinite Mind, and It can provide a bigger idea of who you are and what you can do. Look at possibilities, not problems. Think of every challenge as an opportunity instead of a roadblock.

Life is on your side. Get on your own side. It is more fun that way.

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Transformation through this era, however, the true meaning of Aquarian/Leo energy will be expressed through a unique self expression that also uplifts and fuels the whole.

The Me, Me, Me attitude will settle into a more balanced “We” mentality with the “I” as a valuable, individuated member who supports the whole.

Tips for Parenting Children on the Leading Edge:

1. Understand, Live and Teach Law of Attraction As we move through life, we experience wanted and unwanted things. Within all of it, we modify our desires for even more improvement and satisfaction. Sometimes we exclaim our desires outwardly through intentions and prayer; other times, these desires remain silent. However, the Universe responds to these vibrational requests—spoken and unspoken—through the Law of Attraction* The Law of Attraction is the most fundamental, core law of this Universe. Through the physics of energy, everything that exists is alive via molecular activity. It follows that everything contains a vibrational signature, and when these signatures are matched, manifestation occurs. Focused energy, combined with emotion, attracts similarly vibrating situations, events, and people. This law is unbiased in its manifestations. It does not matter if you give your attention to things wanted or unwanted, the Law of Attraction will bring you evidence of where your focus predominates.

With each successive generation, the energy of desire accelerates on the planet.

By Brenda Renee’ With each new generation that is born, our species evolves to newer, more expansive planes of consciousness. We do not regress, we move forward with greater adaptability, increased desire, and swifter expansion toward the manifestation of our desires. These leading edge children are literally birthed to manifest and expand desires of previous generations.

Children, up to about the age of 9, are still predominantly connected to Source, unless they’ve entered an environment of extreme dysfunction.

Adults often think of children as unwise, unseasoned, and incapable of what they call rational thought. However, children are allowing Source to flow through them unencumbered. Their knowledge, while may be not rationally deduced, holds much more truth and importance than many of the most famous intellects on the planet. Although a child may not be able to communicate the reason they do and say things, their perspective is untainted.

Each new era brings into focus the polarity and eventually the balance of the age.

We’ve left behind the Piscean/Virgoan era of self-sacrifice/martyrdom/perfection to move into the Aquarian/Leo Age. Thus far, with our generation of young adults, we’ve witnessed an unsettled upheaval to overthrow existing, outmoded structures purely through a self-based desire. As we progress

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As the energy increases more and more rapidly, manifestations occur more swiftly. Also, any habitual negative, resistant thoughts and emotions block the desirable manifestations, replacing them with unwanted manifestations. As leading edge children are operating at a much higher frequency, their physical bodies are more susceptible to negative, resistant energy. If this type of energy is allowed to proliferate within the household, the child may succumb to all sorts of environmental and/or health related stresses. It isn’t that the child is more sensitive to the world’s evolution; the child can and will thrive in its environment—IF it is an emotionally healthy environment.

By first becoming aware of how your thoughts are creating your own reality, and then working to shift these patterns, you will serve as the greatest teacher to your child’s experience. Today’s children will not blindly follow orders. They require an explanation for how your expectations benefit them.

Through your own example, you will teach your child how to observe and correlate his (or her) life via his own internal dialogue. Through the practical application of this law within your family, you will teach your child how to grow into a fully functioning adult who confidently manifests his life. There will no longer be a need to rebel because your child will feel empowered in knowing he can create his life deliberately.

2. Accept then Elevate Negative Emotions

We are each born with a direct link of communication to our Soul Self. That link exists via our emotions.

We have a broad range of emotions that each vibrate at different frequencies, from the lowest, resistant vibration of hopelessness to the highest vibration of appreciation. Each emotion determines the types of manifestations occurring in our lives. Thus, learning to shift our emotions, we actively shift our manifesting reality. By teaching our children how to work through and elevate their negative emotions, we give them leverage and empower them in their lives. Meditation is a simple tool to relax, ground, and soothe your

child away from her resistance. Additionally, teaching your child to write a daily appreciation list will set up a pattern of joyful living for the rest of her life!

3. Accept and Honor Psychic Impressions Psychic attunement to energy is simply being able to recognize energy before it is made manifest (through eyes, ears, taste, touch, smell). Intuitives, small children, and animals carry this knowing that is often unexplainable. However, as children grow up, their increasing maturity (and exposure to well- meaning adults) results in a hardened shell of resistance that blocks the natural flow of these delicate impressions.

As we consciously nurture and sustain our connection to our Soul Self through shifting resistant emotions, we reawaken and enhance these innate abilities.

Channels for these perceptions come through telepathic communications, clairvoyant visions, clairaudient sounds, and clairsentient feelings. Don’t be afraid to talk to your child about his psychic impressions. By giving validity to this inner knowing, you will further encourage your child’s direct communication with Source. On a mass level, the encouragement of these senses will eventually aid evolution to bypass fear based realities.

4. Respect and Cooperate with Nature With our expanding technology taking us so dramatically and constantly into the cyber world, we lose touch with the naturalness of the planet and the universe. Nature is our purest connection to Source on this planet. Things untouched by man operate at a higher vibrational frequency. Thus, Nature car-

ries the predominant elevated energy required to maintain the healthy functioning of our world. While domesticated animals continue to carry a higher frequency than many humans, they are still captive to their human counterpart’s influence. However, it is the undomesticated animals who provide the greatest benefit to the planet and humans.

From a very early age, expose your child to Nature.

Teach him how to appreciate without “ownership”. Your child needs to know that even “wild” things carry value. Get your child involved in nature projects. This lifelong respect will aid the adult in making choices to preserve nature not only for aesthetics but from a very real understanding of the important contribution Nature makes.

By conscious, co-creative parenting, adults will provide a platform for leading edge children to effectively manifest their most expansive desires. *Read Abraham Hicks’ Ask and It is Given for a full explanation of Law of Attraction.

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Brenda Renee’ holds a Master’s Degree in Parapsychic Sciences through AIHT. She is a Holistic Life Coach who uses her refined Metaphysical talents such as: feng shui, astrological chart analysis, shamanism, aromatherapy, color therapy, automatic writing, creative visualization and nature therapy to achieve life altering results. Brenda is passionate in her quest of teaching others how to manifest their dreams. For more information: www.themysticalempress.com or call 318-243-1343.

Spirituality

Ricky Roberts III is the author of three books, an internet-radio host, youth advocate, inspirational speaker, and founder of YOU ARE VALUED, an organization devoted to promoting the value of the individual. His volunteer work includes Life Rolls On – a surfing program for individuals with spinal cord injuries and Surfing for Autism – a surfing program for individuals and families affected by autism. Ricky resides in St. Petersburg, Florida with his wife and their two dogs. www.rickyrobertsiii.com

•••••••••••••••••• Children as Our Teachers

Often times we view children as students of what we have to teach them, abiders to the rules we set, and followers of the paths we direct them to travel. We demand respect from them and create expectations of who, or what we want them to be. The question is: What about what they have to teach and show us?

We live in a time of great change. Humanity is shifting.

On one end we have messages of hope, awareness, and change being shared on grand scales, with deep conviction and truth. On

the opposite side, we have levels of abuse, neglect, negativity, and fear which is of great concern. In many cases, young people are absorbing the brunt of it all. The most extreme outcome is the fact children are killing themselves and each other, because of the pain they are carrying that was inflicted by others.

Young people are more in tune and aware of the changes our world needs than most adults may even realize. In some cases, children are closer to the truth in who we are and how we should be living than the truth we as adults only think is real. They are the ones who will lead us into lasting change.

The reality is: They can only lead us if we both allow and empower them to do so. This is not to say we cannot guide, help, and share our insights with them. This is simply to say: We must be more receptive, as a society, to what our children are telling us. Look deeper in to the reasons why they are “acting out.” Pay attention to the hints they are giving us. Listen when they try to explain their view or tell a story.

The more we validate the power of our young people the more they will appreciate the wisdom of their elders. When there is no more us vs. them and there is unity between us, we will know what lasting peace truly is.

Children will not only lead us to a better tomorrow, but remind us of the peace, innocence, and beauty within us all.

The only thing we have to do is: let them!

Blessings- Ricky Roberts III

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Spirituality

Emily Rivera Andrews is a certified Angel Healing Practitioner, Reiki Practitioner, and an Angel Manifesting Master Practitioner. Emily shares techniques that have helped her become a Gifted Intuitive, Intuitive Channeler, Healer, Manifester, and Angel Communicator. To ask your Angels a question, attend one of Emily’s local events or email emily@LivingtoInspire.com

•••••••••••••••••• Our Life as the Rising and Setting of the Sun

Our life unfolds as the rising and setting of the sun. It radiates its magnificence from dusk until dawn, touching lives and ridges known and unknown to us, giving life and strength to some, while beckoning others to grow through imposed discomfort. We too are unique like the day itself, expressing our light, our sunrise/sunset, our splendor.

As I recently sat on the rocks of Sedona, AZ, admiring the rising of the sun over the stone formations that so eloquently create the breath-taking views of this magical place, I was being shown the awe-inspiring views that our lives create as well. Just as I bore witness to this day, so too does the Divine witness, with admiration, the rising of our light, the enfoldment of our journey, the awe of our sunset. The Divine—with open eyes, excitement, and love—is present within the details of all of our journeys. We, as unique souls, are full of potential just like the sun. We engage our free will, minds, and bodies as best we can to guide the enfoldment of our rising and setting sun as represented in this life.

We each have a unique opportunity in deciding how our sunrise begins and how we choose to allow our light to set.

In a typical day, the earth’s weather and natural processes can impact the visibility of the sun, thereby affecting how others witness and respond to its journey through the sky. The sun is like the light of our soul, unwavering and splendid. The sun (our soul) surpasses any storms and gray skies that might

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have appeared throughout this day (our life), and it continues to shine brightly.

There will be those individuals who, like the Divine, will celebrate and encourage the unfolding of our day, our life, our journey. There also will be those who, just like not so favorable weather, will consciously and unconsciously add clouds to our day. Just like each new day, we too are susceptible to being “clouded out” and subject to circumstances that may make our light hard to see, hard to connect to, and hard to experience.

Regardless of the “atmospheric fluctuations” and challenges presented in our life, know our light continues to shine. Regardless of whether or not individuals take the time to notice our splendor, it is still there shining brightly.

Just as the sun may not fully consciously comprehend the extensive impact it has upon the earth’s inhabitants, most of us also fail to recognize how our light is significant and impacts the lives of many. For those who can grasp the potential value inherent in their life, while choosing to more consciously shine that light brightly as best they can, they will make themselves more available to offer the greatest contributions to this world.

Regardless of what has come our way, regardless of the clouds that have appeared, regardless of the rain that has fallen, each of our lives has a unique and special purpose if we can understand that every sunrise and sunset is magnificent.

Every cycle of the sun includes the celebration of unlimited potentials within its day. Regardless of the environment, conditions, and external factors beyond the sun, the day is complete, powerful, essential, and perfect in its own unique way.

You also are of such value, of such unlimited potential, that you have the ability to create and enjoy a great experience.

You personally are being offered unconditional love with the nourishment needed for your mind, body, and soul. Even if you can’t always recognize it, it is there, constant and enduring. The Divine holds you up, as it so powerfully holds the radiant sun above earth’s sky. Trust and know that, just like every sunset, you are a beautiful light to bear witness in this world. The Angels and the Divine (God) stay watchful and present as they lovingly admire the rising and setting of your light.

As the sun rises and sets, you can see the metaphor of your life. Wake up every day being reminded that you too have a powerful light to shine, share, and give. There are open spaces and individuals who will graciously receive its essence without much effort on your behalf, but there also will be those who will need the light you offer with more deliberate intent. Your soul, your light, is being guided in ways that go beyond human comprehension. Have faith that you will offer a splendid view for all of us to witness and that each soul offers no judgment and, even though skewed perceptions might make you feel otherwise, people inherently recognize the magnificence contained within each other.

So for this month consciously take time to celebrate your light, your rising, and look forward to the amazing views your sunset will be sharing with the world. The Divine joins you in this intention. Just like I applauded and rejoiced at the rising and setting of the sun over the Sedona rocks, so too do the Angels, Divine, and loved ones celebrate YOU!

Inspiration

By Valerie Strange

There is no age limit when it comes to “play”.

We all need to seek release from day-to-day worries and stresses, to decompress, and connect with the childlike part of ourselves. For most adults, video gaming is not the first activity that comes to mind when it’s time to shift gears, but it can be an excellent opportunity to fantasize and step into another persona and reality for a few hours.

I know what you’re probably thinking, “No way! All those story-driven adventure games involve violence, blood, war, or beefy soldiers laden with bullet clips across their chests.” However, as a spiritual practitioner who is an avid video gamer, I can assure you there are viable options in the daunting virtual world of Call of Duty, Modern Warfare, and Zombie Bashing. My pick is Journey The Game, and I hope that a quick look at this online adventure land will entice you to explore this fast-growing arena as a way to work with and express your inner child.

Exploring the Interactive World Video gaming has become a huge part of the world’s culture, no longer aimed at just kids, but also to adults, with 46 percent of gamers now being females. Unlike a movie or TV show where you are just an observer, in video gaming you are an engaged, active participant. For the spiritual person who is not into shooting, slashing, and bashing, Journey The Game has appeared in the video game world. It was developed by ThatGameCompany, and is a Playstation 3 exclusive release offered as a download and played in real-time on the Playstation Network.

The gorgeous graphics are hand-drawn, and the environments seem to have a life of their own, undulating and sparkling sands, wind swirling playfully around. There is no aggres-

sion, no battling, only a sense of peace and joy. It can’t even be called a “game”—it is an experience.

It is a journey through a world to a goal, but the journey itself is an emotional one. You start as a cloaked figure in a vast desert world, sitting in a meditative position. There is no dialogue, no instructions, just beautiful music. In the distance is a large mountain, with a beam of light shining down into its center.

It’s your obvious goal. And so you begin your journey.

The sense of isolation is immediate as you pan around and see nothing but a vast desert and dunes. You travel through the sand dunes, trudging up them, sliding down them, coming across ruins nearly buried within the drifting sands that in themselves offer no solace, no answers. You wander around exploring, but always towards the mountain and the light. And then suddenly another cloaked figure appears! You hurry over. Who is this person? Actually, it’s another player somewhere else in the world in real-time on a Playstation! However, you can only communicate through chime-like musical tones.

Bing, bong! Hey there! He or she responds joyfully, bing, bing, bing! You are not alone anymore. You have no idea who this person is, if it is a male or a female. There is no identifying information as in other multiplayer games. It doesn’t matter.

You are both heading for the mountain and the light, fluttering up over dunes, soaring together in joyful playfulness.

My partner led me, called out to me when I lost track of him/her—bing, bong—follow me! Here I am! This person seemed to have played the game before and guided me to the various artifacts/symbols that you need to collect that add to a long, flowing scarf that you are wearing. The longer the scarf, the further and higher you can fly. Merging with your partner from time to time also gives you more strength. Floating throughout the environment are glyphs and glyph-covered flags swirling nearby that also enable you to float higher.

After playing together, the hour became quite late. I had no idea who this other person was, what time zone he or she was in, but it was after midnight for me and I had to stop playing. How was I to convey this using only musical tones? As we stepped through into another area, I stopped. The other person went ahead of me, then realized I wasn’t following and called out to me. I didn’t answer. He/she came back to me. Bing? What is wrong? All I could think of to do was to move to the other person and merge our images, like a hug. Then I stepped back and turned away. He/she stood there, then turned and walked off, stopping once to look back at me. Then the figure continued out into the desert alone. I felt such a sense of sadness at saying goodbye to my friend, hoping that avatar would find another person soon to continue the journey with. We had made the journey together in cooperation, compassion, and generosity.

As in life, a player may travel with you for a time and then take a different path. Others will travel with you for the entire journey.

I won’t tell any more about this remarkable game because it would spoil your experience if you choose to take the journey yourself. My purpose is to prompt you to explore the

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exciting new developments in video gaming, which can help expand your spiritual awareness, connect with others worldwide that share similar values, and understand why so many people are attracted to interactive entertainment. Imagination creates reality, and experiences that touch your spirit can sometimes be found in the most unexpected places. Happy travels!

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Valerie Strange is an avid video gamer and an outspoken advocate for the ESRB rating system of video games that gives parents a view towards the rating of violence in the video gaming industry.

She currently works part-time as a Speech Recognition Editor of medical reports. Email Valerie at: vastrange@hotmail.com.

Healthy Living

By Alina Piccone If you are an expectant or new mother, you are probably extremely cautious of what you choose as medicine, first aid, and, of course, personal care and cleaning products. One point of common controversy is whether or not to use essential oils through pregnancy, child birth, and child care. As a result, a lot of moms just end up avoiding them all together. However, they can be extremely beneficial with the correct knowledge. To help clear up some of the misconceptions in this area, let’s examine essential oils and how to ensure that you are selecting and using products that will have optimum health benefits for both you and your child.

Not all essential oils are created equal, and the only oils I recommend are Therapeutic Grade oils. This means they were planted, harvested, distilled, tested, and bottled with the intention of being used medicinally. Unfortunately, because the United States considers oils to be “perfumes,” there are no labeling laws that apply. Thus, many essential oil companies claim “100 percent Organic/Therapeutic/Wild Crafted/ Pure, etc.” However, they can be adulterated with additives such as alcohol and other caustic ingredients meant to extend the batch but aren’t required to be listed on the label. In fact, only about 2 percent of the oils found in the United States today are true therapeutic grade!

To make sure you have an authentic therapeutic grade oil, seek out a knowledgeable Aromatherapist, or research the company you are considering to see if they own their own farms, perform on-site and third-party testing, and have strict potency and purity standards. Unfortunately, most “junk” oils are found in health food stores where there is much room for markup, so make sure to do thorough research online.

Using Therapeutic Grade Oils Now, for the fun stuff! There are three main ways to use therapeutic grade (TG) oils. First, you can diffuse them into the air with an ultrasonic, cold air diffuser.

This nifty machine atomizes the oil molecules along with cold water and propels them into the air without damaging their medicinal constituents. Burning a candle under oil will destroy its therapeutic value and leave you with a smoky, resin-like substance—so make sure to never heat oils. Second, you can apply TG oils directly to your skin or the skin of your infant, toddler, or great-grandma! TG oils are pure, and they are gener-

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ally gentle enough even for sensitive skin.

As a cautionary act, dilute a drop of oil to a tablespoon of organic, food-grade vegetable oil when applying to little ones or to sensitive areas. Also, the bottoms of the feet are a great spot to apply a “warm” oil such as peppermint or cinnamon-based oil blends. One thing to note is that essential oils do not contain proteins or polypeptides, thus they cannot produce allergic reactions. If skin reddening does occur, simply add vegetable oil to slow down the absorption, as the oils will detoxify skin that has been exposed to petrochemicals.

The third most common way to use TG oils is to ingest them. They can be dropped into a vegetable-based capsule and swallowed, dropped in some honey or on some bread, or added to your water, tea, or even your favorite meal! One of my favorite oils to add to water is grapefruit because it is a gentle detoxifier, and it aids in the elimination of fat in the body. Just for the record, two other ways that TG oils can be used, though less common, are vaginally (on organic tampons) and in suppositories (mixed with a carrier oil).

Here are a few cautionary notes as well: Make sure to keep oils out of ears and eyes as they can sting, but will not damage your hearing or sight. Also, citrus oils, like the fruit they come from, tend to ripen our skin in the sun (it will create a dark tan in the spot where it was applied), so do not apply them to exposed areas when you know you will be outside for an extended amount of time. Beyond that, there is much controversy, like I mentioned, about using oils during pregnancy, but it really comes down to oil quality and your personal comfort level. If you are using authentic TG oils with common sense, you will be fine.

As Jane Buckle, Ph.D., R.N., states in her book Clinical Aromatherapy: Essential Oils in Practice, “There are no records of abnormal fetuses or aborted fetuses due to the normal use of essential oils, either by inhalation or topical application. There are no

records of a few drops of essential oils taken by mouth causing any problem either.” Go with your gut, but know that TG oils are used safely by countless pregnant women around the world.

Dr. Mom’ Essentials Now that we’ve covered how to use TG essential oils, the next step is to learn about what we can do with them. As you may know, there are many essential oils – well over 150 different types. So, in order to avoid overwhelming you, I am going to cover nine of the most versatile and practical oils for use during pregnancy, childbirth, and for family use post-partum. The information I will share with you is from testimonials from women in my own life, as well as my studies, which include this wonderful little reference book that I highly recommend for anyone looking to add TG oils to their pregnancy and parenting: Gentle Babies: Essential Oils and Natural Remedies for Pregnancy, Childbirth and Infant Care by Debra Raybern, N.D., M.H., C.N.C., I.C.A. These nine oils are what I call the “Dr. Mom essentials” because they offer a wide array of uses and can act as a travelsize first aid kit that never leaves your purse or diaper bag. I have left out the actual formulations for the five blends to refrain from promoting a specific manufacturer. (However, you can contact me directly for more information.) They aren’t too overwhelming and are a great way to get accustomed to using oils in an “everyday” sense, rather than just as air fresheners.

• Lavender: The “mother” of all oils, lavender is known for its ability to promote tissue regeneration and speed wound healing. Lavender is great for any and all skin conditions. Antiseptic, antifungal, analgesic, antitumoral, anti-inflammatory and anti-histamine, lavender can also be used for preventing and addressing stretch marks as well as scarring from caesarians, diaper rash, cuts, scrapes, burns, blisters, fever, allergies, cradle cap, blocked tear ducts, teething pains, and earaches.

• Peppermint: High in menthol, peppermint is anti-inflammatory, antitumoral, antibacterial, antiviral, antifungal, and pain-relieving. One of the most versatile oils, peppermint is well known for soothing the digestive system and helping to curb appetite, while promoting alertness and mental clarity. Great for morning sickness, heartburn, stomachaches, constipation, fever, colic, headaches, high blood pressure, muscles aches and discomfort, breech, and other pregnancy discomforts.

• Lemon: Rich in limonene (which has been extensively studied for its ability to combat tumor growth in more than 50 clinical studies!), lemon is “antitumoral,” antiseptic, and immune-stimulating. With an invigorating fragrance, it is known for giving clarity of thought and purpose, while being uplifting to mood. Lemon is useful for coughing, mucus, immune support, flu/cold, ph balance, and for reducing water retention. Kids love this oil!

• Frankincense: The “father” of all oils, Frankincense has been used to treat every conceivable ill known to man.

The holy anointing oil, frankincense was valued more

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than gold in ancient times. Prized for its “antitumoral,” immune-stimulating, antidepressant, and muscle-relaxing properties, it is widely used in the treatment of depression, cancer, respiratory infections, and inflammation.

Frankincense can be used for anointing at birth, as well as colds/flu, pneumonia, blisters, preventing and addressing stretch marks, infections, head bumps, healing the umbilical cord stump, and respiratory issues.

Anti-Microbial Blend: Effective against MRSA (methicillinresistant Staphylococcus aureus), this highly antibacterial and antiviral blend has been studied by Weber State University to destroy 99.96 percent of airborne pathogens when diffused into the air for 12 minutes. It can also be used for boosting the immune system preventatively, viral infections, bacterial infections, anti-fungal, anti-mold, sore throats, cough or colds, whole-home cleaning, diaper pails, changing table, and nursery sanitation.

Pain Relief Blend: Used to reduce pain and inflammation, improve circulation and accelerate healing, it is great for swelling and discomfort from sprains and strains, muscle cramps and bruising. It also offers fast relief for headaches, bumps/bruises, stuffy noses, and backaches.

Balancing Blend: Balancing to the energies and alignment of the body, it is known to instill feelings of courage, confidence, and self-esteem. Wonderful during birth as it relaxes the central nervous system. This blend is also great for backaches and calming, as well as for anti-viral and anti-bacterial use.

Relaxing Blend: Calming and balancing to children and adults, it is wonderful when diffused and can be added to the water during water births. It can also be used for anxiety, temper tantrums, sleeping, and ADD/ADHD issues.

Purifying Blend: An effective and all-natural bug repellant, it is also well known for cleansing the air and neutralizing even the most pungent odors. Highly antibacterial, it can also be used to disinfect cuts, scrapes, and insect bites. It is also very helpful for earaches, cuts and scrapes, and respiratory conditions.

My hope is for you to learn enough to feel confident in using Therapeutic Grade oils during your pregnancy, birthing experiencing, and in your family’s everyday life. Remember; trust your gut, use common sense, and know that oils are wonderful, time-tested alternatives for you and your family.

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Alina Piccone B.A., L.M.T., H.H.C., I.C.A., is an Internationally Certified Aromatherapist in the Sarasota area. Along with her fiancé, Robert, her passion is educating the community about the benefits of therapeutic grade essential oils. Contact Alina directly at alinapiccone@me.com or 813-644-9104 to attend their next essential oils gathering on Saturday August 18th in Sarasota. Find a workshop calendar and more information at www.EssentialLifeToday.com.

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Spirituality yourself. Misery loves justification even more than company.

There are only two possible responses to any justification: “That’s why…” or “So what?”

Daddy was a drunk 1) That’s why I’m a souse.

2) So what?

Gregg Sanderson has a rare view of the metaphysical universe. He traveled the road from Christian Science through Judaism, Agnosticism, Atheism, Living Love, Psychic Development, Spiritualism, Teaching of the Inner Christ, all the way to the International Centers for Spiritual Living where he is a licensed practitioner. He is the author of What Ever Happened To Happily Ever After? and Split Happens – Easing the Pain of Divorce. Gregg’s latest venture is Spirit With A Smile — The Way It Is (Unless It’s Something Else). Email to gregg@spiritwithasmile.com.

•••••••••••••••••• Childhood Memories

I have a friend with remarkable insight. Because of his domineering father, he became a people-pleaser. His mother made him afraid of women, and a broken romance caused him to retire within his shell.

He sabotages himself in every possible way, and he knows exactly how it all came about. His self-analysis makes boring conversation, but he’ll still share it whenever he can. His slogan is, “I’m workin’ on it,” which is another way of saying “I haven’t done anything about it.”

Another friend also has remarkable insight. She recognizes her tendencies toward people pleasing so she becomes more self-expressive. She knows her parents weren’t ambitious, but she sets her goals higher and presses on. Her slogan is “So what?”

Which one, do you think, is more fun to be with?

Answer… The funniest line in this column has been censored by the editor, cursed with good taste.

In the World of BOB we have a slogan, “Principle is not bound by precedent.” It’s just another way of saying “So what?”

In other words, whatever happened in the near or distant past or in your childhood does not need to affect the way you are now, but it can cripple you emotionally if you use it to justify

The one I love left me for another.

1) That’s why I’ll never love again.

2) So what?

A character in a book ate an apple.

1) That’s why I must atone.

2) So what?

My granddaddy was a horse thief.

1) That’s why I’ll never amount to anything 2) So what?

Somebody who looked like me but wasn’t me once persecuted somebody who looked like you but wasn’t you.

1) That’s why I live with generic guilt.

2) So what?

I fell in love with my mother at age four.

1) That’s why my life is a mess 2) So what?

My father was a super-achiever.

1) That’s why I’m a failure.

2) So what?

I’m too (Check one or more) tall, short, fat, skinny, young, old, shy, aggressive, nice, mean, self-centered, desperate, aloof… Whatever.

1) That’s why I can’t make it with the opposite sex.

2) So what?

We’re always at choice with our justifications. What’ll it be, suppress them or address them?

I’m workin’ on it.

So what?

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Transformation plained that:

Navajo ceremonies serve to pass down information and intentions to future generations.

Joeel A. Rivera, M.Ed., Ph.D. (ABD) holds a Master’s Degree in Counseling and is currently completing his dissertation for his Ph.D. in Psychology. Joeel’s extensive career as a relationship coach includes certifications in P.R.E.P, a 30-year research-based program for couples, Nurturing Father’s curriculum, and Parenting 21st Century. Contact Joeel at joeel@transformationservices.org

•••••••••••••••••• Lessons from the Journey of Life

As I write this column I find myself on a cross country trip through Route 66 with my family. Several months ago I was talking to my father about his bucket list (things that he wanted to do while he was still in physical form). He stated that he had always dreamed of going through Route 66 to see the history and landscape of the United States. Now that he is in his 70’s we discussed it and put the intention to do a road trip this summer, and here we are. This journey has allowed me to get to know and understand my own roots and offered many lessons that I wish to pass down to my daughter and future generations.

The journey thus far has taken us through Las Vegas, Sequoia National Park, Santa Monica California, the Grand Canyon, several Indian reservations, Sedona, several smaller towns in California, Arizona, Texas, New Mexico, and down to New Orleans. In Vegas I met several local residents from diverse places in the world. Two of them stand out; one from Ethiopia and another from Iraq. They both shared with me their unique life story and how they ended up living in Vegas. To my surprise, they both expressed that they have lived in many places around the world but that Vegas was the only place where they felt acceptance.

They explained that they had friends from all walks of life and that if they wanted to date someone from a different ethnicity that in Vegas people just viewed them as two human beings. They both explained that for the most part prejudice and racism is non-existent in Vegas. They said that there are so many people from around the world that people just accept each other and honor their uniqueness of culture and history.

It is interesting that in a city that tourists come to for gambling and good times the locals stay for acceptance.

One of my favorite parts of the journey was dancing with the Navajo tribe in a ritual “friendship dance” in the Grand Canyon. While holding hands and chanting they described our interconnection with everything and how through our dance we were creating the energy of the circle of life. They further ex-

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They told us how much of an honor it was to have us join our energy with theirs and how much they appreciated our interest in learning about their culture and wisdom. In reality, I was the one that was honored. It was a profound emotional experience for me as I learned a truth that resonated in my spirit.

I could feel the interconnectedness they spoke of. I find it interesting how the Navajo’s ceremonies and traditions were created and maintained in order to pass their wisdom onto the next generation. The Navajos inspired me to create my own traditions so that I may do the same.

Further along the journey we met a lovely, 72 year old lady in Holbrook, New Mexico. We talked to her for about an hour while we ate at her restaurant. She told us stories about how when she was 7 her mother became gravely ill and she took the responsibility of caring for her younger siblings and making sure that everything was taken care of. She reminisced with us how at the age of 11 she had to start coming up with $150 dollars a month to pay the rent. She said it was challenging to take on the responsibility but that it made her who she is today. She made a commitment at that age to create a different environment for herself and her family for future generations. Thirty years ago she opened a restaurant. The restaurant gave her the opportunity to purchase ten investment properties and helped her family start over twenty businesses in their small town. She was more than successful in her own right, and she had a heart of gold.

She gave us gifts of petrified wood as she told us more stories of how what she has created she has been able to help many people in her family, her town, the local Indian tribe, as well as total strangers. It seemed that the more she had the more she wanted to give. She was our server at this small restaurant.

She did not work at her restaurant because she needed the money - she did it because she liked serving in every sense of the word.

It was her perspective of serving others; determination, humbleness, and being open to abundance that helped her create today what some would dream impossible. She stated that more than anything she wanted people to see that nothing is impossible if you are willing to follow your dream, see life as a learning experience, be grateful, and share your self with others.

Throughout the trip, every time we experienced something new my dad would express his appreciation and state: “Who would have thought that a “Jibaro” (a person who grew up on the mountain) from Comerio, Puerto Rico (a small mountain village without running water, paved roads, or electricity) with 13 siblings would get to see or experience this!”

Our ample time on the road gave my dad many opportunities to share stories about his past. Interestingly, through the stories of his life I learned that he shared the same valuable principals

that these great teachers have taught me along our journey. We talked about the lessons we have encountered and what additional wisdom we would want to pass down to the next generations.

What we took away from this journey is amazing memories and the following lessons: • Acceptance: Make peace with and allow things and people to be as they are.

• Oneness: Connect to others, especially those who offer a different perspective, and you will feel the interconnectedness of all things.

• Tradition: Value the importance of tradition within all cultures and families, as our remembrance of our collective past ensures important wisdom continues onto the next generation.

• Determination: Follow your dream and do not let anything stop you. You are a powerful creator; you just have to come to acceptance of this.

• Appreciation: Learn to appreciate the small things in life. You will find more joy and at the same time open your self up receiving.

• Service: By giving to others we participate in the cycle of life - as energy flows to those you serve it circles back to bless you.

• Compassion: Approach situations with compassion.

Set ou?r ego aside and allow our higher self to make decisions.

• Passion: Live life with passion and bring life to everything you touch.

• Honesty: Be honest with yourself and others and you will live as your true self. Like they say: honesty will set you free!

• Forgiveness: Learn to let go of your baggage. It is one of the most critical steps to a life of peace and happiness, as well as one of life’s most challenging lessons.

• Share jour journey: Share your journey and become open to being both a teacher and student of life. Life is collaboration, and the more we share with others - our vulnerability, our joy, our challenges, and our journey the more we all learn and grow. Like they say, you do not master anything until you teach it.

I am grateful that my dad and this journey have instilled these principals within me and that now I have the opportunity to pass it forward to future generations. What would you want to pass down? As my dad states,

“Once you are gone you live through those that you touched.”

Whether you have children or not, you impact future generations with every interaction you make with others, just as the people that I have met on this cross country trip have planted seeds that I will carry to future generations.

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Healthy Living If health is a state of well-being and well-being is being in healthy, why is it that many can’t deduce that one would most likely be in a positive frame of mind to have health and well-being?

Well, it makes sense to me. But then I have day after day of experiences with patients who are either carrying around a positive or negative outlook. It never fails to amaze me that whichever outlook individuals carry they are successful in provChristina Captain, DOM, AP, SLP, FSC is a board certified acupuncing their beliefs every single day. ture physician and the founder of The Family Healing Center. She For example, take John the 40-something divorcee who earned her degree in Acupuncture & Oriental Medicine from the believes strongly that life is unfair and the world is out to cheat East West College of Natural Medicine, Sarasota, Florida, where him.

Every time I see him he has evidence to offer me proving she is now a senior faculty member and advisory board chairperthat his premises are indeed correct. son. Christina received additional training in acupuncture injection On the other side there is Jason, who really sets out to therapy and earned a Masters degree in Speech Language Paprove that a winning life is possible and that it is effortless. His thology and Communication Disorders and is an expert Feng Shui practitioner and teacher. belief system includes the concepts that life is easy, he is lucky, and he always has the glass half full mantra somewhere in his subconscious.

Both of these men prove to themselves that they are right everyday; the only difference is what they are right about.

Is it really a secret? The power of positive thinking that So which is it for you? Are you a Jason or a John? What do you is? Is it really adequate to just think good thoughts? Will looking prove day in and day out? through rose-colored glasses truly give us the winning life we so fervently desire?

In Chinese medicine there is a concept of I attempted to answer these questions by asking an weak constitution/strong spirit or strong 8-year-old child, who promptly answered me with a shoulder constitution/weak spirit. shrug and “I don’t know.” She then walked away to finish the cardboard dragon she was making as a gift for a friend’s birthday The simple facts are that a person may have a weak celebration. Maybe that’s the real answer: We should all stop worrying about positive thinking and just be positive about some- constitution based on DNA, but have the spirit of a tiger, fighting for health and well-being. These individuals, according to Chithing—anything—like making a cardboard dragon. nese Medicine, are more likely to achieve good health than those strong in constitution but weak in spirit. For me strong spirit has Imagine if we could all just look at life again all to do with the power of positive thinking and a positive outlook through the filter of our 8-year-old self. in regard to life in general.

Since our theme this month is children, let’s look at an How different would the world be? How incredibly example in this area. Despite our set constitution and spirit comamazing might it be just to take the time to create something that bination in parenting, it is imperative to be aware of the meswasn’t on TV or a computer. How exhilarating would it be to won- sages we send to our children so that they have the best posder with imagination instead of our smart phone or CNN feed. sible environment to develop that “spirit of a tiger.” What is OK How would it feel to question alleged reality with possibility? and what isn’t? This includes being aware of the way we use our My premise in regard to positive thinking is that we all words and the way we demonstrate how living in alignment with try too hard. Being positive in everyday life should be easy, ser- positive thinking works. endipitous, and most of all fun. It shouldn’t be work to maintain a positive outlook.

•••••••••••••••••• Stay Positive, Stay Healthy

Finding Health and Well-being Some are skeptical in regard to the belief in positive thinking, specifically positive thinking as it relates to health and well-being. If we explore the words health and well-being we find that the definition of health is not just the absence of sickness but the presence of well-being. Then we must examine the word well-being. Well-being is the state of being well, fine, in a good way, healthy, sound, and thriving. Hmmm, doesn’t that make your wheels turn?

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As a parent, you must be super aware that you are being watched and emulated.

After all you are creating a “mini-me” even if that is not your intention.

Positive thinking is truly a choice. So my friends, choose the filter of your 8-year-old self and take the time to create the possibility of positive thinking in your life. Good luck in your journey toward health and well-being!

Tools & Tips

Marcia began her career as a school teacher, working with preschool through inner city high school students. She has worked with all aspects of Metaphysics for over 40 years and specializes in Tarot and Numerology. Marcia’s clients and students are in every state and throughout Europe. Marcia has taught over 400 students to “read” the Tarot for the purpose of self-guidance and to use the powerful symbolism of the Tarot to reach higher levels of spirituality.

Her column, Spiritually Speaking, originally ran for 8 years in Attitudes Magazine in the Sarasota area. Email marlou2000@aol.com

••••••••••••••••••

Color Your World

Color is such an important part of our daily lives that we rarely think about it. Each individual has certain colors that they gravitate toward, in dress, home decoration, jewelry, and countless other areas of life. There are also colors that we instinctively do not respond to, colors that “turn us off” or that we avoid. This month, I would like to have some fun with color as it relates to our individual personalities. I came across a study that was done in the late 1940s by Dr. Audrey Kargere and Farber Birren, and found it very relevant to the more intense studies of color that are taking place in the 21st Century.

Before you read any further, it is important that you select your favorite color from the following list. You probably have many colors that you like, but for this study you must pick only one. Black and white are not on this list, as white is the blending of all color and black is the absence of color. Here are your choices: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, and brown.

Now we will look briefly at what your color choice says about you, some famous people in history that had your color as their favorite color, and who your best choices are for relationships, friendship and business compatibility. After you have read this article, have your friends and loved ones choose a favorite color and see if they blend with your choice.

Color and Personality Red: Red is the color of the extrovert and the freedomloving adventurer. You are impulsive, courageous, vigorous, and action loving. You care deeply about humanity and often “bleed” for the plight of others. Life means a lot to you, and you want to live it to the fullest. Boredom will defeat you, and you want your existence filled with thrilling and exciting events. Historical figures who chose red as their favorite colors include Lord Byron, Abraham Lincoln, and Theodore Roosevelt. Your best match is another red or an orange. You can get along with a green personality, but a blue would be difficult for you.

Orange: This personality usually has a great love of life and wants the best of everything in food, personal surroundings, etc. You are very social and do not like to be alone. This is a very physical/material personality and people are attracted to your fluidity of speech, amazing smile, wonderful laugh, and quick sense of humor. This social personality often likes to “play the field” and doesn’t like to settle down to a single mate. Historical figures who share your love of orange include F.D. Roosevelt, Falstaff, P.T. Barnum, and Mark Twain. Your best match is one of your own color, with whom you could play for a lifetime. A blue type would be relaxing for you and give you peace and more spirituality.

Yellow: Yellow is the color of the intellectual and idealist.

You are a pure personality, with an intellectual mind, but more of a doer than a dreamer. This person has big ideas and plans designed to work for the world and for the betterment of humankind.

You want the admiration of others, are a safe friend, and a loyal, reliable confidant—a born evangelist and philosopher with a great love of humanity. You are in the company of Buddha, Confucius, Spinoza, and Kant. Your best match is one of your own hue or purple, but you are able to get along with any color type.

Green: Green is nature’s color and gives you a universal viewpoint with the ability to understand the problems of others, and to be tolerant, and liberal. Your mind is clear and without prejudices. You fall in love easily and find yourself attracted to many. You gravitate towards money and are courageous but never reckless. There is a little of all things in your personality and education is very important to you. People will be drawn to you and will love you once they get to know you, even though you are often stubborn and like people to agree with your opinions. Green personalities make wonderful mates and can get along with any color, though red might be your best choice. People who share your love of green are; Shakespeare, Anatole France, and Will Rogers.

Blue: Blue is the choice of the conservative, shy, and often introverted personality. You are sensitive to others but often keep a secure hold on your emotions and your enthusiasms. You like things to “be as they should be” and if you do something that you think might be wrong, your conscience will bother you. You are a good student, have sound judgment, and a deep sense of responsibility. You often make mountains out of molehills and are cautious in dress, words, and action. Blue is a born executive and a leader of people. You often have a hard time letting go of things and cannot tolerate people you think act in an immature manner. You make a perfect best friend. You share your color preference with; Coolidge, Washington, Franklin, and Lindberg.

Your best choice of a mate is another blue or a green, but you are often drawn to red and orange and then spend your time trying to change their personalities.

Purple: You are unusual and exclusive and often a mystery to yourself and to others. Artistic people are drawn to this color and they are usually quite unusual in personality. Purple people are generally blessed by a true sense of values and genius is often found here. One of their greatest charms lies in the sublime quality of their minds, and they have a great wisdom which they do not attempt to force on others. They are adjustable, but do not merely give in to others; rather, they reconcile themselves to the things that they must deal with. They are easy to live with and if you know them intimately they will hide little

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from you. Other purple people are; Voltaire, Pasteur, Jefferson, like good, plain food, and do nothing in excess. You share your and Edgar Allen Poe. Purple can get along with all other colors love of brown with Rabelais, Dickens, and Clarence Darrow. You in relationships, but yellow makes the ideal mate. Humanity is make a wonderful partner for someone who will appreciate your drawn to the mystic of the purple personality. nature and your best choices are orange and green.

Brown: If you choose brown, you are substantial, deNow, do you know a bit more about yourself, children, pendable, steady, and conservative. You are the rock of Gibraltar and loved ones than when you started? If you are curious about once you have made up your mind about something. There is my personal choice, I am a purple all the way, with a little blue an ageless quality about you, and people that know you say that around the edges. Till next month, remember, you never change an opinion or act impulsively. You are a responsibility bearer and no task is too difficult for you to conquer.

Knowledge is the Greatest Power, This is an excellent color for business and people think that you so Walk in the Light. are wise and trustworthy. You buy things on the basis of quality,

Inspiration

By Alan Cohen

I recently painted a deck on my house. I enjoy painting, a meditation in being present that doesn’t require much thought but lots of attention. If you tend to live in your head, paint something. Your hands may get dirty but your mind will stay clean.

With just a few planks left to color, I noticed I was almost out of paint. Looking back and forth between the paint can and the unfinished boards I wondered if I would have enough paint to finish the job. I dipped my brush in the remaining paint and made sure I didn’t drip any unnecessarily. I repeated the process until I was swirling the brush around the inner sides of the paint can to make sure I absorbed every ounce of liquid. After several minutes I was amazed at how much paint I had “squeezed” out of the remaining supply. By the time I finished, the inside of the can was completely dry.

It’s amazing how much you appreciate things when there is just a little left, and how much more use you get out of them.

I have had the same experience with the end of toothpaste tubes. You can get a lot of toothpaste out of the last few squeezes! The same goes for writing postcards. Have you ever written a postcard while on vacation and filled the space with large letters of banal words? Then, when you realize you’re running out of space, you start writing what you really wanted to say in little letters around the margin. Or have you phoned someone, gotten their answering machine, greeted them with pleasantries, and just when you were ready to deliver your message you got cut off by an annoying beep?

All of these experiences lead to a poignant lesson: Do what’s important first. As Thoreau suggested, “Live deep and suck out all the marrow out of life.”

The trick, of course, is to make every moment count before it is your last one.

One of the gifts of facing death is to gain the appreciation of life. Many people who have been given a terminal diagnosis shift their life to enjoy every moment so richly that their disease disappears. My friend Shin-ichiro Terayama was a physicist who was told that he

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had cancer and but a short time to live. Shin went to a Japanese garden to meditate on the purpose of his life. There he decided to dedicate his life to appreciation and celebration. He began to say “thank you” for everything, including his cancer as a wake-up call. A few months later Shin was pronounced cancer free.

That was 25 years ago. Now Shin teaches the power of appreciation.

He is like a light bulb, always smiling and shining, teaching by radiance more than word.

My friend Bruce told me that he remembers his first thought as a child. When I asked him how old he was at the time, he answered, “the moment of my birth.” What was the thought? “Don’t forget,” Bruce told me. “My soul was branding my purpose into me as I crossed the threshold from the other world to this one: Don’t forget who you really are. Don’t forget that you are born of spirit. Don’t forget what you came here to do.”

Of course Bruce forgot, as we all do. Like all of us, he fell under the hypnosis of earth, the belief that we are alone, limited, mortal, and separate from love. It is a rare soul who remembers truth in the face of illusions. Yet Bruce, also like the rest of us, at some point began to consciously remember. He began to reclaim his identity as a spiritual being and recognize the presence of love in a world gone crazy with fear.

Exactly what we all need to do and,

each in our own way, are doing.

Why, then, if we live in a universe of abundant supply, do we experience lack and limits? A sense of limits helps us focus on what we have and use it wisely.

People who have little means generally appreciate their assets more than people who have boundless means.

My mentor Hilda Charlton lived in India for 18 years.

She told me that some people in that country are so poor that if they get a tin can they appreciate it as a treasure. They use it over and over again and cherish it. By contrast, I know people who have extraordinary volumes of stuff, but appreciate them little. Who is closer to heaven?

I’m not suggesting that we need to live poor or labor under lack or limits. I am suggesting that we need to celebrate what we have and make the best use of it. A woman called in

to my radio show (www.hayhouseradio.com) and asked me the difference between right use and consumption. I told her that if you value what you have and use it to help yourself or others, that is right use.

If you can apply the paint carefully and lovingly even before you get to the last drips in the can, the paint has served you well and you will be at peace with your project. While we seem to have many different projects in life, one theme is the deck on which they all sit: You always have enough if you are using well what you have. That’s what not to forget.

••••••••••••••••••

Alan Cohen is the author of many inspirational books, including the newly-popular Enough Already: The Power of Radical Contentment. Join Alan for in-depth Life Coach Training beginning September 1, to become a professional life coach or apply coaching skills to your career or life. For more information about this program and Alan’s other books and free daily inspirational quotes via email, visit www.alancohen.com, email info@alancohen.com, or phone 808 572-0001.

Tools & Tips

By Annie Burnside

RELATING TO YOUR

OLDER CHILDREN

In the modern age of texts and tweets, it is of utmost importance that parents maintain active, open lines of face-to-face and soul-to-soul communication with their children. This does not mean resisting the new means of sharing in a highly technological world, but rather continually exploring ways to connect with one another both on and beyond the keyboard. As children get older, parents must observe carefully what their children enjoy in the physical world and meet them there as often as they can.

This may at times include technology in different forms, but parents should not allow these mediums to become the sole focus within the family. The more attuned parents are to their children’s interests and passions, the better able they are to utilize those interests as opportunities for expanded personal connection.

As children enter their middle school years, the interactions between parents and children shift greatly. While it used to be quite easy to sit on the floor together to play with dinosaurs, share a book or build with blocks, this type of access into the children’s world on a moment-to-moment basis begins to diminish. Part of this change is simply due to quantity of time spent together, but the nature of the hours shared also shifts dramatically. All of a sudden, the children become immersed in a world of music, books, movies, technology, and friendships that may seem quite foreign to parents in many ways. Parents can view all of these new interests as pathways to greater awareness and connection that can be tailored to fit into family life in a way that feels right for both parent and child.

As children grow in age and maturity, parents must discuss with them regularly all aspects of their daily life.

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The goal is never to invoke fear, but to instill accountability in all choices, online or otherwise. Parents must continually assess whether or not they are offering a true understanding of core concepts such as authenticity, self-love, boundaries, connectedness, forgiveness, gratitude, and presence in tandem with their children’s inevitable foray into a fast-paced and everchanging world. Parents must not only teach these concepts but also model ways for their children to integrate them into life experiences and relationships.

Finding Balance The invitation for all parents is to actively participate in as many areas of their children’s lives as possible without suffocating them or decreasing their natural move towards independence, authenticity, and freedom. Their interests, when viewed from an expanded perspective, offer rich material and opportunity to connect with them in deep and joyous ways. Songs, movies, and all veins of creative expression (yes, even technology) provide optimal entry points into daily conversation and in-depth discussion aimed at uncovering deeper meaning in all aspects of life. Find out why they like a particular song or movie. How does it speak to them? How does it make them feel? In turn, parents may share their thoughts or feelings on a favorite song and why it resonates on some level.

Parents can utilize friendships and relationships to dissect and review the core concepts mentioned above to expand perspective and enhance the parent/child bond. They can model for children what sharing a mutual life experience looks and feels like and create the space and opportunity to discuss the touchstones of the day through a weekly family discussion or a nightly five-minute chat at bedtime.

Parents must be continually on the lookout for a bridge into their children’s world.

As children grow older, the sharing is of a different nature, but stems from the same loving bond as before, even if the child does not outwardly express this deeply felt, yet unseen connection. Parents must trust that it is there and forge ahead in the desire to keep intimacy alive. It becomes the parent’s job to tap into the essence of what their children enjoy even if the shape or form does not fully resonate. Parents should take the time every so often to close their eyes and breathe deeply to recall in their heart and mind the feeling of coming into their own passions and interests when they were the same age as their children. It was a different time and the technology available is much more advanced today, but it is important for parents to remember the feeling of listening to a popular song on the radio or looking forward to watching a television show each week. It is important for parents to recall the excitement of playing a video game over and over again, trying for a personal best or sharing secrets with a best friend for long hours on the phone. If parents can access their inner-adolescent, they will have a much greater chance of connecting now with their own children.

Opening Up Parents who take the time to open to rather than out-

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right resist aspects of their children’s lives that they may not fully understand strengthen the lifelong bond immeasurably. This does not mean that parents disengage from the role of parent, but it does mean that parents open themselves to the possibility that they can move into their children’s world a bit more and enjoy the ride with them rather than in opposition to them.

Parents, to as great an extent possible, must give children permission to be authentic in their choices of technology, friends, and more. With this permission, they can offer them the parental insight that there are multiple angles to every choice.

Parents can encourage transparency and honesty, creating a family structure that helps children monitor their choices—such as computer use on the first floor only or no hand-held devices used after 8 p.m.

Parents should not be afraid to expect accountability and to enforce it, while at the same time remain accepting and open to the child’s expanding world.

It is imperative that parents take the time to teach children that current choices affect future reality. In the midst of the many facets of their complex life experiences, it is important for parents to continually remind children that input determines output and vice-versa. In other words, parents must assist their children in coming to understand that filling up with negativity, violence, and disharmony greatly affects their overall well-being—they are the source, not the effect—joy begets more joy, inspiration begets more inspiration, and the opposite.

Conscious parenting requires active participation in all aspects of family life, connecting not only within the parents’ comfort zones but also within the children’s. It invites parents to share the adolescent adventure fully with their children rather than simply observe from a distance. The ever-expanding children may not be fully open to this hands-on participation, but isn’t it worth the never-ending attempt? Parents can begin to intuitively feel for the openings to interact richly with their children that occur naturally rather than push too hard at the wrong time.

The teenage years are fast and fleeting. There is much sharing, laughter, togetherness, and JOY to be had. As parents model authentic living and deep connection with others, their beloved children just may follow suit in their own way, through not only their face-to-face and soul-to-soul interactions, but through their inevitable online interactions, as well.

•••••••••••••••••

Annie Burnside M.Ed. provides a modern bridge between the mainstream and the mystical. She is a soul nurturer, award-winning author, public speaker, and teacher specializing in parenting, conscious relationships, authentic living and spiritual development.

Her book Soul to Soul Parenting won the 2011 Nautilus Silver Book Award and the 2011 Next Generation Independent Book Award.

She is a blogger for the Chicago Tribune and Modern Mom, a 30Second Mom Mobile contributor, and a columnist for Evolving

Dr. ZZ’s bold, upfront, directive style plays an inspirational role in the lives of people she touches. Drawing on a non-traditional Ph.D. in counseling and natural healing, ZZ works in Sarasota with shaman elder Jack Alexander (“Golden Feather”), who offers land blessings, shamanic training, Life Purpose readings, and all-faith, community-based spiritual guidance. This forum proposes potential solutions on health, emotional, and personal matters.

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Question: For six months, I’ve been chatting online with a man who lives out-of-state. We became online lovers, and he just came to Florida on vacation so we could meet. He called on the phone, and we met at a restaurant, but in person he was like a total stranger. We sat across the table from each other without knowing what to talk about. It was awkward and both of us seemed uncomfortable. When it came time to say good night, we shook hands and made no plans to get together again. That was the last I thought I’d see of him. But then the next day I got an email from him, and he continued chatting with me as before.

He says he wants to remain online lovers but doesn’t want to get attached. Why would he say something like that after coming all this way to meet me? How can I make him feel guilty and let him know that I am not as desperate as he assumes?

Dr. ZZ: No matter how much information you exchange with someone online, you and the relationships you develop are going to remain “virtual.” This is not to say that there’s anything intrinsically wrong with them. You just have to keep them in perspective. In many ways, chat room meetings are like brain candy, the imagination creates a fictional self as well as a fictional other.

Apparently this man’s invention of himself fell for your invention and vice versa. Like a pair of robots in love with each other, you realized in person that what you had imagined was not so in reality. There is no point in wanting him to feel guilty or in attaching yourself to convince him of anything. The online relationship couldn’t have taken place without your holding your end of the fantasy in place and no harm came to either of you. Turn off your computer, and shrug this off as virtual heartbreak. Maybe your luck will change when you get out and meet real people instead.

Question: Last year, my marriage of two years ended, but my ex-wife and I have managed to remain friends. My brother and his wife keep in touch with my ex and have invited her to visit them, but they’ve made no effort to contact me. I feel hurt and left out. Short of reading them the riot act, what can I do?

could be that he and his wife now feel sorry for your ex. Another possibility is that they are afraid you may be hurt if you knew they were still friendly with her, so they are keeping it from you in order to spare your feelings. They are the ones to ask. You need to have a talk. Let your brother and sister-in-law know that, although the breakup was painful, you and your wife parted on good terms, and you would never expect them to shun her. Make it clear though that you also feel excluded. They may have no real explanation, or they may simply say that they didn’t want to lose her as a friend. Whatever the case, you need to hear them out and let them know you want to start over. Alternatively, you can always reach out, and invite them to visit you. The phone rings both ways.

Question: I have a huge amount of pent-up anger towards women. Ever since high school, I’ve been angered by the hypocrisy, mind-games and double standards I’ve perceived from my female peers. I’ve always felt generally ignored and lookeddown upon by women and had very few girlfriends. Typically, I’ve ended-up feeling that they’ve treated me badly. I have an overwhelming wish to just find a woman with whom I can share my affection, but I now find certain stereotypical “female” attributes to be contemptible. I just want to broadcast my anger to the largest number of women possible so I can tell them ALL how I feel, and how angry and disappointed I am in them. I’m sure there’s no simple solution, but I thought I’d ask your advice.

Dr ZZ: Any woman can beat a man down, few are capable of encouraging him to build himself up. Consequently, a large number of men are angry in the midst of the feminist wave and find themselves at odds with women. To heal this is an inside job. Regardless of the external packaging, each of us is part-man and part-woman. We therefore need to learn to forgive both genders.

The positive purpose of anger is to motive change within self. Every time you point a finger at someone else, three point back at you. It does little good to approach women with an arrogance that says, “If you think you’re better than me, prove it.” Having sex and then discarding the other person so you can feel victorious doesn’t work either. Instead, it is best to identify where you give your power over to women and then work toward gently maintaining that boundary. In this way, you stand a better chance of relating to them on the level of affection you seek.

Let this be your guiding principle: Whatever you find disturbing in another says something about aspects you have yet to heal within yourself.

Disclaimer: All information provided in this article is intended as general information only and is not to be misconstrued as medical or psychological advice, diagnosis, treatment or cure for any condition or ailment. Send queries or comments to askDrZZ@yahoo. com. All identifying information is kept strictly confidential.

Dr. ZZ: It is unclear how close you and your brother were before your marriage ended. If you spent a lot of time together, it

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