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JULY 2017 Letter From The Publisher
Pg.12
Letter From The Editor
Pg.14
Letter From The Editor (in Waiting)
Pg. 16
Houston Happenings
Pg. 20
Around Town Grand Opening at Diosa Cabaret
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Pgs. 24-25
Does YOUR Doctor Have The Qualifications To Do What You’re Looking For? by Dr. Lou
Pg. 28
Nightmoves Spectacle Vicki Chase takes a bite out of the big apple
Pgs. 38-40
Will Social Media be your Downfall? by Dustan Neyland Attorney at Law
Pg 42
Star Gazer
Pg.46
Crack Ups
Pg.48
Wall of Shame
Pg. 50
Business Directory
Pg. 52
Houston Sports Scene
Pg.54
Bulletin Board
Pg. 56
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Summer is here!
Centre on 7/2, the next night Santana plays the venue and on 7/12 Journey & Asia will be there! Of course there are multiple July 4 celebrations including the Star Spangled Salute at Miller Outdoor Theatre and Freedom Over Texas at Eleanor Tinsley Park. Megadeath will play the Revention Music Center on 7/9 and Neil Diamond performs at the Toyota Center on 7/16. The month concludes with the Van Warped Tour at NRG Park on 7/30.
... and we already had a taste of bad weather. The heat is one thing but we really don’t need any “tropical help” from Mother Nature. Let’s hope it’s a quiet hurricane season and we get good weather the next few months. Damn … can you believe the Astros? These guys are playing fantastic and at press time have the best record in all of baseball!! Hitting, pitching, defense … they have it all! I know it’s not even the All-Star break but it sure looks good for a long post-season run! GO ASTROS !! There are some great shows in town this month starting with Diana Ross who performs at the Smart Financial
The other major event in July is the Pride Festival & Parade that takes place in downtown Houston July 18-25. I hope you all have a safe and happy Independence Day and a wonderful month of July. Thank you for reading Houston NightMoves!
Paul Allen Staff & credits Publisher Paul Allen Editor John Gray Nat’l Features Art Koch Contributing Columnist Vicki Chase Layout & Design Tracy Allen
Sales Manager Tad Dudley 713-909-5340 Sales & Distribution Anthony Myles 281.254.9009
Photographer Misha More Morbid Thoughts Peter Martin Photography Mel Schwartz
CONTACT US
Email: John@GrayMags.com
Face book : HoustonNight Moves Twitter: @NightMoves Show & @AANdott v
Editor In Waiting Dick Fitzwell
phone: 832-790-9102
Visit Us On The Web
HoustonNightMoves.com NightMovesOnline.com AAN.xxx
NightMoves® Magazine 5090 Richmond #120 Houston, Texas 77056
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©2017 NightMoves® is published monthly. No reproduction of content without express approval of Publisher & Editor. NightMoves® Publisher & Editor assume no financial responsibility for errors in ads beyond the cost of space occupied by error; any slandering of an individual, business or group as we mean no malice or individual criticism at any time; any promises, coupons, or lack of fulfillment from advertisers who are solely responsible for content of their ads. NightMoves does not condone or promote prostitution, any form of solicitation, or any illegal acts of any kind. Publisher & Editor are also to be held harmless from: failure to produce any issue as scheduled due to reasons beyond their control; all suits, claims or loss of expenses; this includes, but is not limited to, suits for libel, plagarism, copyright infringement and unauthorized use of a person’s name or photograph. Publisher & Editor do not promote excessive consumption of alcoholic beverages. Due to the active nature of the adult entertainment business, there may be personnel-schedule changes after deadlines affecting availability of models depicted in ads. All models pictured are 18 years of age or older. This publication contains adult material and should not be distributed or sold to minors under the age of 18. The name NightMoves is a nationally registered trademark, exclusively owned by Paul A. Cianci.
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RED, WHITE & BOOBS FOR YOU! Boy is it getting hot as we come upon another Fourth Of July & Firecracker season here in hot & humid Houston and we have to be safe this month so we don’t start any fires? Speaking of being on fire how about our Houston Astros??? Hell spend all the time indoors at your favorite Adult venue, catch some great entertainment, watch our Crush City baseball team dominate and stay out of the heat!!! I read this interesting piece by George Carlin last month and I want to write about it and as we and I get older, I just wish we had this option: My Next Life. I want to live my next life backwards: You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day.
We finish off with: LET’S DO LUNCH Bidding has already hit $1 million for a lunch with Warren Buffett. Proceeds go to a San Francisco charity that helps the homeless. Last year’s winner, a woman who chose to remain anonymous, paid a record $3,456,789 to break bread with Buffett. Question?... Who picks up the check at that lunch?
NO RED OR WHITE, ONLY BOOBS FOR ME with vicki chase
Then you get kicked out for being too healthy. Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension. Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work 40 years until you’re too young to work. You get ready for High School: drink alcohol, party, and you’re generally promiscuous. Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities. Then you become a baby, and then… You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in Spa-like conditions – Central heating, room service on tap, and then… You finish off as an orgasm. Written by George Carlin, (1937-2008) THANK YOU GEORGE!!!
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Hey Houston… I’m very excited to join the Nightmoves Family here. A bit about myself, I’ve been a fan of adult entertainment for a long time. I remember seeing my first naked woman in a magazine, I was too young to really get it, but I knew I liked what I saw. My introduction to adult movies is probably similar to a lot of people’s, myself and friends finding our Father’s stash of a few movies and watching them in amazement. We wanted to have sex, and these folks were doing it on camera, and getting paid. The ultimate dream job for any guy.
HERE I AM WITH PAUL Allen... I AM ALL YOURS SIR!
It was 100% true, about 6 weeks later, I received an email from Elegant Angel titled “Congratulations” I had won the contest. Was this really going to happen to me, I would get to live out my dream of not only having sex with a pornstar but losing my virginity to her!!! Yes I went through with it. It was the best thing I had ever done in my life. I didn’t pop in 2 minutes, we filmed about 60 minutes of footage. After that I kept in contact with everyone I met, I started going to the AVN show in Vegas and making friends with industry people.
Fast forward to my high school days. I was fat, still am, and didn’t have a girlfriend. I had lots of friends though. By this time I was watching porn on a regular basis. It got me through high school. When I turned 18, my brother and his friends took me an all nude club in NJ, where we lived, called Frank’s Chicken House., which is now called Delilah’s Den, in Manville, NJ. That became my Friday night hangout, along with the horse track. My college story is pretty much the same, still watching porn and looking at magazines. It didn’t take me long to find an 18+ club when I went away to school. Again no girlfriend. You can imagine by now, I’m in college 18-20 years old and still a virgin and it was frustrating.
I called John at the magazine to tell him a local reader had won the contest, and he ran a short piece on me. John was someone I’d see around at clubs and other events here. Somehow I ended up working for Quest, but it just wasn’t the right time in my life for that. Years go by and I see John out, he asked what I was doing for work. I was unemployed, but dealing with some personal things. In the summer of 2016, John called and asked if I wanted to work at the TEXXXAS show. I was planning to go so why not work. After that, it things just sort of started falling in place. John asked me to join the Nightmoves team full time. I was finishing school, and now that I graduated, here I am.
In life there are events that are pivotal moments in our lives. In 1998, I left school and moved to TX where my parents were, my Dad was in the oil industry and he got transferred back here. I found a local adult video store and picked up a magazine called AS Quest. Inside was a letter on this page from John Gray. I continued picking up the magazine for years. Pivotal moment in my life, I picked up the issue from August 2000, and there it was. A full page ad, with the title “WIN A SCENE WITH A PORNSTAR” I thought “Holy Shit”, I wanted to enter this. I called my brother and read t to him. He said “you’re going to win this.” The rules were simple, write a scene starring you and Alexandra Quinn, then Elegant Angel’s Slutwoman. They also wanted to know about the person entering. I wrote one sentence that forever changed my life. That was
That is how I got involved with Nightmoves. Same people running it as Quest just a different name, so I’m now working for the magazine that got me involved with this industry to begin with. I think it’s cool that this is now coming full circle for me. Kind of feel like Steve Carrell in the movie, 40 Year Old Virgin but I didn’t have to wait that long, Thank God!!!
“I’M 23 YEARS OLD AND STILL A VIRGIN, YES SAD BUT TRUE”
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I look forward to getting to know all of our advertisers and our readers. Any questions or concerns feel free to reach out to me at dick.fittswell@gmail.com Go ASTROS!!!!
DICK
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riTZ caBareT HaS BeeN BriNGiNG HOUSTON THe BeST iN aDULT eNTerTaiNMeNT SiNce 1985.... Lots of faithful customers and new ones were on hand to enjoy the sexy scenery by their sexy entertainers and the recently remodeled club. Over $250,000.00 was spent on the interior and Ritz put on the Glitz last month at the new look club. We will have pictures and a look in our August issue next month Specials are what they are known for and a Steak Lover’s home away from home. From their Wednesday $9.95 Angus Steak N Shrimp or their 50 cent chicken wings to their $13.95 12 ounce Rib Eye Steak & loaded baked potato dinner special or their $9.95 Bacon Wrapped Filet Lunch special on Thursdays. So many specials to write about so it would be easier to log onto www.ritzhouston.com and see for yourself and be amazed. July 27th is Judo’s and Sherry’s Birthday Bacchanal at the Ritz and you will be amazed! Make sure you tell them that you read about all their specials and new additions right here in Nightmoves and say hello to Rick, Lynn, and Mike, one of the best Management teams in H-town. LOOKiNG fOr THaT perfecT cOMpaNiON fOr DiNNer Or a GaLa???...Look no further than the one and only Adina Andrews on page 21. Give her a call at 832-3771561 or log onto her website at www.AdinaAndrewsXO.com
STiLL HaViNG THe pOKer craZe afTer THe NiGHTMOVeS caHriTY cLaSSic? HeaD OVer TO JOY Of HOUSTON... They have Poker Night every Monday Night and it is a free buy in with a chance of $250.00 in cash/prizes. They will be hosting a $1000.00 Poker tourney on the 15th of this month so mark your calendars now. Joy also has Wild Wednesdays that feature a $10 16oz Rib eye. It comes with a baked potato or fries so stop by today for Lunch and or Dinner? Joy of Houston is located right off the 290 at 7004 Charles Road.
TiMe TO ceLeBraTe THe 20th aNNiVeraSarY Of ONe Of THe SOUTHSiDe’S fiNeST caBareTS... MOULiN rOUGe Moulin Rouge has a new look, new management and a brand new staff to greet you when you stop by and help them celebrate 20 years in Houston. They are having a huge three day party t July 21-23 and will be having an extended Power Hour on those three nights till 10pm along with drink specials and prizes for all. They will be providing you free lunch everyday Mon-Saturday along with complimentary chicken wings on Friday July 21st to kick off the fiesta. Stop by 8930 Winkler, just an exit from Hobby Airport on I45 south to be part of their party! Interested in joining the team at Moulin Rouge stop in Monday-Friday from 11am-6pm and ask for Clint Harvey.
WaNTiNG TO cHaNGe YOUr LOOK aND iNcreaSe THe SiZe Of YOUr BOOBieS??? Dr. Derek Lou a board certified Plastic Surgeon is ready to assist in perfecting nature’s gift and unveil a new look body for you to rock the beach with this summer. Call for your free consultation at 713-932-7290 as Dr. Lou and his staff is ready to help you look your finest! Conveniently located minutes from the Galleria at 915 Gessner, near the Westin Memorial City. Call and ask for Erica, his office manager and schedule your appointment today.
SpeeDiNG? HaD ONe TOO MaNY DriNKS? NeeD a DiVOrce? Or just a disregard of the law and need some legal advice? The law firm of Greco & Neyland are just a phone call away at 713.972.1100 and you can find their ad every month inside this publication. They can assist you if you are a club owner that did not tell your employees the right laws or even if you did and they just forgot it’s a great number to have saved in your phone at a time of need. Ask for Jeffrey or Dustan and tell them you read about them in Houston Nightmoves.
LOOKiNG fOr THaT perfecT BiKiNi TO MaKe eVerYONe JeaLOUS aT THe BeacH Or JUST YOUr aparTMeNT pOOL??? Head over to one of the three Adam & Eve Stores and check out the Sizzling Summer Selections from the folks at Sweet Revenge Bikinis of Dallas. Don’t be that other gal with the year old bikini and just blend in. Check out the back cover for all three store locations and find the one that best suits you! ( No Pun Intended)
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HOUSTON YOU aSKeD fOr iT aND iT iS Here... Houston’s first and only Galleria area Elite Lifestyles club is having its Grand Opening Fourth of July weekend and will be open every week from Thursday through Sunday evening where the weekend really warms up with their SIN (Service Industry Night) party including a naked BBQ that you won’t want to miss!!! Fifty Shades will also be offering up Entertainers specials besides their Ladies Get in Free before 11pm daily. Unlike other Lifestyle clubs Their admission fees cover all your set-ups and your membership fees, so that there are no hidden cost. Check out page 7 for all the details or call 346.232.6593 WWW.TEXXXAS.com • JULY 2017
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AAN.XXX All Adult Network CURRENT EVENTS GIRL OF THE WEEK
ADULT INDUSTRY NEWS AND MORE!
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Around Town DiOSa caBareT’S GraND OpeNiNG By: Ms. Misha Morê The Diosa Cabaret is Houston’s newest and attractive Latin gentlemen’s club. An evening of entertainment with Latin inspired sounds of bachata, merengue, reggaeton, salsa and top 40. With an outstanding selection of tequilas, cervezas, scotches, wines & champagnes. Guests can also enjoy all the soccer, football, boxing and MMA events on one of their 25 flat screen TVs and a full kitchen featuring tasty tacos, wings and burgers that will tempt your palate! Whether its a long day at work or an evening out with friends. Special grand opening entertainment and festivities showcased the statuesque Spanish Doll XXX Bridgette B on the weekender evenings with her voluptuousness shows while the sexy Diosa girls heated up these hot summer nights with some hardcore action. Stop by and come see why Diosa Cabaret is bringing back some ‘cha cha’ to the adult entertainmnent nightlife and experience.
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Does YOUR Doctor Have The Qualifications To Do What You’re Looking For? As a new advertiser in this publication, allow me to introduce myself. I am Dr. Derek Lou, a board certified plastic surgeon practicing in Houston. My goal here is to provide you with a closer look at an industry that is very relevant to yours: aesthetic surgery. For this first installment I’d like to bring to your attention the first thing you should know before even stepping into a doctor’s office. Does this doctor even have the qualifications to do what you’re looking for? You may have found them online, heard of them through a friend who saw him/her, or you may have seen a billboard or advertisement and decided to set up an appointment. Setting up the appointment was easy, the person on the phone was really nice, the office may be in a swanky part of town, and the doctor may have a great reputation. But none of that tells you really anything important about the doctor, does it? As a plastic surgeon, I get frustrated hearing about non-surgeons performing surgeries like breast augmentation, tummy tucks, and facelifts. There are talented nonsurgeons out there who can perform a procedure; but the real question you should ask is not what they can do, but what if something goes wrong? I’ve taken care of way too many patients who traveled across the border or went to a motel room (yes, that does happen) and saved themselves money…but when they are botched it is a disaster and the costs skyrocket. Simply seeing a qualified surgeon could have made all the difference.
and that’s really the key here isn’t it…qualified. What does that mean? First of all, let’s start with what sounds like the obvious. Is your doctor actually in the field that you are looking for? Like I mentioned above, I see this more in the cosmetic field, but all it takes is a simple question. If there’s any uncertainty, ask the office or visit the doctor’s website to see what kind of doctor the doctor is. Are they a plastic surgeon? You may get the ambiguous “cosmetic surgeon” answer, which is like asking someone if they play in the NBA and they tell you that they “play basketball”. Plastic surgeons call themselves plastic surgeons; others can’t make that claim. You’d be surprised how many flashy websites I’ve seen where, when you really look, they never mention what kind of doctor the doctor really is. Or they use the ever misleading term “cosmetic surgeon”. I can call myself a “minister” because I got an online certificate for free from a ministry I found on the internet, but it doesn’t mean I’m ready to officiate a wedding. So who is qualified? Well, there are national governing bodies (called Medical Boards) within each medical specialty that oversee and monitor their doctor-members. Membership requires a confirmation of the location and type of medical education that doctors have received and requires them to pass a specified series of written and oral examinations to prove that they are proficient in their field of specialty. In other words, only the qualified doctors can become board certified, and the board monitors their activity to ensure a high level of proficiency and ethical behavior.
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So is your doctor board certified? It’s easy to find the answer. You can start with finding their medical board at the American Board of Medical Specialties website at www.abms. org. Look your surgeon up under the American Board of Plastic Surgery. (Fun facts: the “American Board of Cosmetic Surgery” is not a real board even though it sounds convincing, and Dr. 90210 tried to pass the plastic surgery boards 3 times and failed and is not board certified.) Next thing you should look up is the status of your doctor’s medical license. Physicians are required to have a medical license in order to practice medicine. Licensure is governed at the state level much akin to lawyers, with some states requiring some form of written examination. All require background checks of applicants and review of their qualifications. Overall, the medical licensure process doesn’t necessarily gauge a doctor’s abilities, but really substantiates that they are actually a doctor (and not just one that stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night). So is your doctor in good standing with the state medical board? All it takes to find that out is a few minutes on the internet to find your state medical board website and look up your doctor. You should be able to find any documented history of discipline by the board against your doctor if it exists. So before you get too excited looking for implants or Botox, just spend a few minutes researching who you plan on seeing. It could make all the difference.
Dr. Derek c. Lou Board certified Plastic Surgeon “As a board-certified plastic surgeon in Houston, Texas, it is my singular goal to bring the benefits of plastic surgery to those who need it, and contrary to what you may have seen or heard, it can be for almost everyone. At first glance, plastic surgery may seem complicated, confusing, and mysterious. As a conscientious surgeon, my role is to help you understand whatever it is that you may need or want and whatever solutions that the art of plastic surgery may provide from breast augmentation, breast reconstructive surgery, to liposuction —in a way that makes sense and in a language that you understand. I’m confident that after a visit to my office, you will not need to travel any further. It is the ability to help people feel better about themselves that drew me to a career in plastic surgery. I hope you allow me the opportunity to help you. Dr. Lou is also a regular contributor to RealSelf.com and is considered an expert in the topics of, Breast Augmentation, Breast Implant Revision, and Breast Reduction.”
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Spectacle NIGHTMOVES®
VicKi cHaSe TaKeS a BiTe OUT Of THe BiG appLe
Vickie takes a month off from her writing skills to allow her new Publicist, the one and only Lainie Speiser to take over the pen and use her expertise to create our July Spectacle! Anyone wishing to reach out to one of the top Publicists for Adult Entertainment just drop Lainie and email to: misslainie2@gmail.com The lovely Vicki Chase went to New York City to perform at one of her favorite gentlemen’s clubs, Sapphire, in New York City, but before her Friday night show, she had a good, old-fashioned media tour hitting four shows and delighting everyone who met her with her beautiful smile, hot body and fantastic personality! The tour began on Thursday night with SiriusXM, Show Off Radio with Statik Selektah on the Shade 45 channel. Vicki talked about being happy to be in New York City, made their interns dreams come true with sweet hugs and (platonic) kisses. The show started at 10pm but they had so much fun talking about hip-hop music and
clowning around she closed the program out at midnight. The next day, on Friday, Vicki was picked up at her hotel and brought to the offices of the one and only 50 Cent, where she did an on-camera interview for the website www.thisis50.com and spoke with Wilding Out’s Jack Thriller. After showing off her perfect, round and firm g-string clad butt for the camera, Vicki walked through the process of anal sex with Jack and his new bride who was patched in on the phone, calling her anal training, “Trainal.” After that Vicki’s tour continued with a gaunt back to SiriusXM for The Jay Thomas Show on channel Howard 101 (Howard Stern’s channel). Most of you will know Jay Thomas as a famous actor known for his roles on Mork n’ Mindy, Murphy Brown, Cheers and most recently for Ray Donovan. Because the next day was Father’s Day, Vicki encouraged Thomas’ listeners to bring their Dads to Sapphires for the ultimate present to dear old Dad. Jay Thomas Friday staffer Shuli Hagar who is
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also a writer and personality for The Howard Stern Show joined in the fun and lots of laughs were had by all. Another staffer, their own horny senior citizen, Ira, begged Vicki to move to New York City so he could take her out on a weekly basis as her midnight show at Sapphires was way past the old man’s bed time. Rounding out the media tour, Vicki’s last stop was for popular LGBT podcast, The Derek & Romaine Show on www. DerekandRomaine.com. The hilarious hosts loved Vicki’s sexy outfit of a black halter under a white, netted, see-through hoodie and talked about how
Vicki loves Wonder Woman and other women of Amazonian size. “I guess I have a type when it comes to women,” said Vicki. “I love big hips and thick thighs, a very womanly woman.” Derek teased Vicki about her Father’s Day weekend performance at Sapphire and called it, “Pick a Dad, Leave a Dad.” It was a fun, fast-paced day for Vicki, that ended in the early evening, giving her just enough time to get ready in her hotel room for her performance at Sapphire, leaving New York City fans happy and very satisfied. Till next time Vicki, the Big Apple loves you!
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Will Social Media be your Downfall? Dustan Neyland Attorney at Law In a recent trial where I defended a client who was charged with a very serious offense that could possibly have landed an innocent man in prison for decades, the prosecution attempted to assassinate the clients character by presenting the clients Facebook page. It is said that a person can be defined by the things they do and the things they say. In the electronic world that we live in, this means a person could be judged based on the things they “Like”, “Share”, or “Post” on their personal social media accounts. There have been numerous stories about people getting fired over things they post online via Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and other social media platforms that are out there that they forgot about (ahem, MySpace). Being fired is one thing, but using a social media account to enflame a jury to convict someone and send them to prison is on the next level of savage. Let’s not forget, it’s not just criminal law where the “other side” finds what you post as useful. Family law attorneys love reviewing your friend list as well location services when you happened to post a status update from your side piece’s house or when you are out late on a Tuesday and you baby’s father is trying to find a way to gain advantage in a custody dispute. Even if you are the victim of a serious car wreck and trying to get the insurance
company to make you whole by paying a sum of money to compensate you for your injuries, a simple picture of you doing even minor physical activity could be used as an excuse to deny the extent of your injuries. You may read this and think I’m judging you like Kermit over there sipping some tea, but I feel that most people don’t even think about this stuff until your “Status Update” becomes “Exhibit Number 1” at your trial. The simple solution is to take a serious look at your privacy settings to see what you share with the world. The security and privacy settings are constantly changing and it’s always a great idea to give them a review ever so often. Also, if you are charged with a crime, expect the government and possibly even the police to use social media to prosecute you. Other tips: don’t post pictures of things you took in a robbery; don’t check-in to where you just committed a crime; don’t post some quote about the “law trying to keep you down” because it will be used against you if you get to a punishment stage; don’t post pictures of yourself with a wad of money in your mouth or showing off all your new guns (especially if you are already a felon). I’m certainly not advocating censorship; just keep in mind that anything that you post publicly could very well end up in front of a jury. if you have been charged with a crime and are looking for good quality representation, give us a call at 713-972-1100.
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A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl’s place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his trousers and again washes his hands. The girl has been watching him and says: “You must be a dentist.” The guy, surprised, says: “Yes .... How did you figure that out?” “Easy..” she replies, “you keep washing your hands.”
A company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall and idly picking his teeth. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He asked the guy, “How much money do you make a week?” A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, “I make $400 a
One thing leads to another and they make love. After it’s over the girl says: “You must be a good dentist.” The guy, now with an inflated ego, says: “Sure - I’m a good dentist. How did you figure that out?” The girl replies:.... “I didn’t feel a thing!”
week. Why?” The CEO said,”Wait right here.” He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, “Here’s four weeks’ pay. Now GET OUT and don’t come back.” Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and asked, “Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?” From across the room a voice said, “Sure – he was the Pizza delivery guy from Domino’s and was just waiting to collect the money!”
A woman was giving birth. Her husband asked the doctor,”Is there any way I can reduce her pain doc?” The doctor said,”Well yes,we have a new machine which transfer’s the mother’s pain to the father. However,it will hurt a lot.” The man says,”Do it doctor.” So the doctor connected the machine to the man and the woman.
So the doctor starts,the man feels no pain. The man tells the surprised doctor to increase it to 30%. The same happens till the doctor increases it to 100%. The child is finally born. The doctor was completely shocked. The man goes home with his wife. As they were about to reach home,they see the postman lying dead on the porch.
He said,”We’ll start slow. Only 20% of the pain will be transferred.”
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SMOKE ALLEY 2
PLAYMATES
9441 FM 1960 Bypass W. Suite 110 281-318-7638 10602 FM 1960 281-477-0885
6239 Westheimer Rd, (713) 780-1222
9605 SW Freeway • 713-778-1440
BOOGIE’S BOUTIQUE 3303 Sage • 713-629-7900
BIZARRE TIMES 5727 Richmond Ave 713-334-2021 8261 Richmond #N 713-532-9990 8726 Richmond 832-767-0331
CINDIE’S 1641 Westheimer 713-528-6016 25915 I-45 N #C 281-367-3331 120 W. 1st St. 281-359-6864 7903 Westheimer 713-266-8665 3507 S. Sheperd 713-522-9339 4303 Hwy 6 N. 281-463-6234 16929 Hwy 249 281-897-9246
COQUETTE WOMAN
ALLSTAR VIDEO
NEW HEAVEN
1706 Hwy 6
8314 Gulf Freeway
DISCOUNT VIDEO
OAK SPA
730 Hwy 6
9544 Richmond Ave. - 832-859-4088
DT 24 HOUR VIDEO
ORIENTAL BATH HOUSE
7250 Harwin Dr. 713-954-7377 7171 Harwin Dr. 713-974-0440 8080 Harwin Dr. 713-278-8087
176 N. Sam Houston Pkwy East 281-445-7727
8022 Almeda-Genoa 713-991-5995
EROTIC CABARET BOUTIQUE
ORIENTAL BATH HOUSE SOUTH
1222 Westheimer 713-528-4565
BJ’S 24 HOUR NEWS
7440 WEST GREENS RD. 713.923.0991
DRESS WORLD
EROS 1207
6314 Gulf Frwy - 713-454-0340
10150 Almeda-Genoa, Suite H 713-944-4499
1207 Spencer 713-944-6010
CUPID
PERFECT HEALTH CENTER
FANTASY GIFTS
5305 Easthampton Dr. 281-219-7999
3007 S. Dairy Ashford, Suite 1 281-293-9996
1340 Westheimer 713-526-9522
14002 Northwest Frwy 713-462-5152
PINK SPA
6855 HARWIN DR. #T 713-977-1444
EXOTIC ADULT
EXECUTIVE VIDEO
FLAMING LINGERIE
SMOKE OUT – NORTH
THE RITZ HOUSTON
5125-A North Freeway 832-487-9500
10520 Gulf Frwy 713-944-6445
SMOKE OUT – SOUTH
SCORES HOUSTON
1209 Spencer Highway 713-910-0220
6340 Westheimer Rd. 713-364-1220
ZONE D’ EROTICA
SHOWPALACE
1367 S. Loop W 713-799-1300 12310 Hempstead Rd 713-462-7424 19211 Hwy 45 281-528-7861 2626 W. Loop South 713-960-1762 22401 Loop 494, ste 650 281-358-2720 13137 Willowchase Dr. 281-970-4980 821 I-45 North, Conroe 936-539-6607
1411 Spencer Hwy 713-943-2990
CLUBS
VEGAS MEN’S CLUB
CENTERFOLDS 6166 Richmond - 713-952-0799
CHICAS LOCAS 6440 Southwest Freeway 713-784-5900
CHIC’S CABARET 10255 East freeway 713-670-8438
CLUB ONYX 3113 Bering Dr. - 713-785-0444
COVER GIRLS 10310 West Little York 713-937-7772
DIAMOND CLUB RICHMOND 3136 Richmond Ave. 713-528-8116
FANTASY PLAZA
GOLDDIGGERS 10520 Gulf Fwy - 281-944-6445
G CABARET
FANTASY ADULT BOOKSTORE
12804 East Freeway #400 281-846-6788
GOOD TIMES SMOKE SHOP
9009 Airport Blvd. 713-910-3953
5722 Fondren Rd. - 713-492-2888
STAR BATH HOUSE
HIGH TIMES
13335 Duluth • 713-455-4424
7506 Park Place Blvd. - 713-645-3333
6881 S. Gessner 713-777-1783 17904 W. Little York Rd 281-550-8066
8307 Gulf Freeway 713-242-6555
INTRIGUE 9374 Richmond • 713-244-2787
MEGAPLIX 5909 Richmond
PINEMONT VIDEO 7700 Pinemont Suite F 713-460-8745
TALK OF THE TOWN 8226 Gulf Freeway • 713-644-8140 10550 Gulf Freeway • 713-941-8447 4121 N. Freeway • 713-697-0542 19906 Eastex • 713-692- 6403 1201 Richmond • 713-528-1363
V.I.P. SPA 6318 Gulf Freeway - 713-643-8881
MALE DANCERS LA BARE 6234 Richmond Ave. 713-780-0930
CLOTHING & SMOKESHOPS ADAM & EVE
STUDIOS / SPAS
1111 Westheimer Rd. 713-521-2326 17531 Hwy 249 281-469-0619 25701 I-45North, Exit 73 281-298-0069
STUDIO 5901
BIZARRE BAZAAR
5901 SCHUMACHER • 832-491-1698
12344 Gulf Freeway 713-944-1957 7110 FM 1960 East 281-812-0696 4717 FM 1960 W. #101 281-893-1776 920 S. Mason Rd. 281-477-0885 7127 Spencer Hwy 281-478-9900 1401 Spring-Cypress Rd. 281-288-4700 6306 Fairbanks N Houston 3403 FM 1960, Suite C 281-893-1776
STUDIO 5806 5806 SW Freeway 713-789-4006
7 STAR SPA 11316 Westheimer Rd. 281-870-8686
KATZ BOUTIQUE 2720 SW Freeway 281-496-5296 16855 North Freeway 281-444-5289 9820 N. Freeway Duite B 281-847-9669 5555 SW Freeway 713-662-3000 1710 Hwy 6 281-496-5285 12843 Westheimer 281-752-7970 14707 Eastex Freeway 281-360-0009 27646 Tomball Parkway 281-255-2625
LOVE WORKS
25170 I-45 North 281-292-0070
NAUGHTY & NICE
VIVID HOUSTON 2618 Winrock Blvd. 713-974-2100
SPORTS BARS BOMBSHELLS - HOUSTON SOUTH 12810 Gulf Freeway 281-484-3279
BOMBSHELLS - SPRINGS 21005 I45 North 281-288-2769
ROOKIES 305-B Sawdust Road 281-362-9610
ESCORTS
8503 N. Frwy - 281-999-6833
SPA HEAVEN
9037 WESTHEIMER 713-532-0099
TREASURES
1925 Hwy 6 South 281-531-7900
9413 Richmond Ave. • 713-974-5555
GT VIDEO
SUNSET STRIP 2425 Mangum Rd. 713-680-3500 5647 Westheimer 713-629-6200
15803 eastex fwy 8120 Steadman • 713-674-3805
SPLENDOR 7440 W. Greens Rd. 281-477-3000
ASHLEY ANDERS
LA CHATTE LEGS CABARET LOUNGE PLAZA, THE 12330 Gulf Freeway 713-943-3561
MEMORIES CABERET 10314 Hempstead Hwy. 713-680-2552
MILE HIGH CLUB 18005 Eastex Freeway 832-725-0300
713-516-0026
NADIA HAUTE 281-318-8841
VIKTORIA STONE www.stoneentertainment.net viktoriastone@yahoo.com
MISC SERVICES DARQUE TAN www.DarqueTan.com
EZ TUNE
MIRAGE CABERET
8710 Richmond Ave 713-782-2222
3416 W. 34th St. & TC Jester 713-682-2929
FUTRONIX CELL PHONE SALES & REPAIR
MOMENTS
7010 HARWIN • 713-278-2356
5920 Hwy 6 • 281-859-2023
5133 Spencer Hwy Pasadena 281-487-1962
NAUGHTY & NICE
THE MEN’S CLUB
GRECO NEYLAND PC
1712 N. Frasier St. Conroe 936-242-6801
3303 Sage • 713-629-7900
Criminal, DWI & Drug Defense 713-972-1100 GrecoTX.com
PLEASURE ZONE
MOULIN ROUGE 8930 Winkler • 713-910-4300
INSTANT CELL PHONE REPAIR
5705 Richmond Ave. 832-251-8400
SATIN DREAMS
DOLL HOUSE @ OC
7171 Harwin Dr. 832-480-9175
ROYAL WIRELESS
8900 North Freeway 281-999-0050
1244 Gulf Freeway, Galveston, TX 409-938-1515
7350 Harwin Dr. 832-480-9175
SMOKE ALLEY 1
THE PALACE
5726 Richmond 713-952-9692
4602 Dacoma St. 713-688-0600
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9301 Bissonnet • 713-774-8200
SPLASH CAR WASH
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Houston Sports Houston Sports Scene cONTrarY TO pOpULar BeLief THe OBJecTS DO NOT appear cLOSer eSpeciaLLY if YOUr THe aSTrOS!!! A Houston Chronicle Astro Beat reporter tweeted a comment on May 17th after the Astros were swept at home by the defending American League Champion Cleveland Indians that just like the mirrors on your automobile that says in small print the phrase “objects in (the) mirror are closer than they appear” is a safety warning that is required to be engraved on passenger side mirrors of all motor vehicles in the USA, Canada, Nepal, India and Saudi Arabia. It is present because while these mirrors’ convexity gives them a useful field of view, it also makes objects appear smaller. Since smaller-appearing objects seem farther away than they actually are, a driver might make a maneuver such as a lane change assuming an adjacent vehicle is a safe distance behind, when in fact it is quite a bit closer. The warning serves as a reminder to the driver of this potential problem. It also reminds Astros fans and players of a few years ago when we had a nice lead on the team to our North only to be passed by like we were standing still. The Astros didn’t have to look too hard after a trip to Arlington! Brian McTaggart Retweeted AP Sports Objects in mirror are closer than they appear....only 6 1/2 back Brian McTaggart then added, Texas Rangers beat Tigers 5-3, extend winning streak to 10 games @larrylage http://apne. ws/2rnAQkN I don’t really know for a fact that this tweet is displayed prominently in the Houston Astros locker room at Minute Maid park but after the Astros rebounded from the sweep courtesy of the Indians they promptly took 3 out of 4 from the Detroit Tigers, swept the Baltimore Orioles, all at Minute Maid and then went on the road to Central division leading Minnesota Twins and hung an 11 spot in the 8th inning to rally from six runs down to win the opener at Target Field and became the first team in MLB History to come from six runs down and win by 8 or more runs in
the 8th inning or later. They lit up the Target Field scoreboard with 40 runs in their three game sweep of the Twins, then it continued to their next destination Arlington, TX. where we reported last month they have had their trouble, but new year and new team. One local Sports Talk radio host Sean Pendergrast of 610 AM said on the air before the series that the Astros should just bury the Rangers and get them off life support and that they did by getting their brooms and home run bats out and leaving the Metroplex with a 15 game lead over their In-State rivals and a new nickname “Crush City”. There is no White Flag wavers on this team! They ended May with the best record in all of baseball 38-16 and had a 11 game winning streak that ended when the sturdy bullpen blew up giving up 4 runs in the eighth inning and Eric Hosmer walked it off in the ninth with a two run shot to end the streak at Yo Eleven, one shy of the franchise mark of 12!!! I t was their first loss in three weeks on the road but the Crawford Street Bullies saw that streak take a toll on their bullpen. After dropping two to the KC Royals, they won the finale 6-1 as Lance McCullers flirted with a no hitter. Then they proceeded to lose the series to the Angels at Minute Maid before they had a rematch with the Nine from Arlington. However when they started that series, their two best starting pitchers were on the DL in Dallas Keuchal and Lance McCullers, hopefully both just precaution cause it will be a short post season without them. Looked more like a MASH unit around minute Maid with four starting pitchers on the DL along with Josh Reddick. At press time the Houston nine have cooled off and had a Playoff feel three game series versus the Boston Red Sox, who took two of three from our team including a Father’s day 6-5 thriller as Altuve was thrown out at home in the 8th, that would have tied the game and kept it out of Craig Kimbrel’s hands, the best closer in baseball this year! they still maintained the best record in baseball and an 11 game advantage over the Rangers. The Astros looked to reload during the MLB draft last month selecting University
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of North Carolina right-hander J.B. Bukauskas with their first-round selection, 15th overall, in the draft Bukauskas, listed at just 6-feet and 195 pounds, throws his fastball in the low to mid 90s but is known best for his slider. Bukauskas was the first of four Astros picks during the first 91 selections. The Astros also have their second-round pick at No. 53 as well as the 56th and 75th picks they received from the St. Louis Cardinals as sanctions for the database hacking scandal. Depending on the Astros’ needs going forward this summer, it’s also possible to envision Bukauskas pitching bullpen innings as early as this summer. He’s certainly not ready to be starting games at the MLB level, but his top two offerings look close to MLB ready in shorter bullpen stints. Of course, the Astros would rather their current pitching staff regain health and not rush a newly-minted top prospect to the show. For now, look for Bukauskas to sign and start to develop as a future starter for the Astros. With the 53rd pick in the draft, the Astros selected third baseman Joe Perez from McCarthy High School in the spring training home of the Astros, Fort Lauderdale, FL The Astros drafted Perez as an infielder, though he was considered a two-way player as early as this spring before he tore his UCL while pitching. Perez signed to stay in South Florida at Miami - it will be interesting to see if his injury issues persuade him to improve his draft stock after three years at the U, though his upside and youth suggest some promise here. So this pick may have been a bust? JJ Matijevic was something of a late bloomer at Arizona, blossoming into a star in his third and final season as a Wildcat. It was only appropriate, then, that Matijevic had to wait until the very end of the first day of the 2017 MLB draft to hear his name called. It was worth the wait. The Houston Astros selected Matijevic, the hard-hitting Pac-12 batting champion, with the 75th selection. The pick came at the end of Competitive Balance Round B, which follows the second round. It was the final selection Monday night. The left-handed-hitting Matijevic led the Pac-12 in multiple offensive categories, including batting average (.383), hits (92), RBIs (65), doubles (30, tying the UA WWW.TEXXXAS.com • JULY 2017
houston Sports scene cont. season record), total bases (152) and slugging percentage (.633). He primarily played first base for Arizona but also could get a look at second base or as a corner outfielder. This will be another great find by the Astros! ON THe LiNKS aT THe US OpeN We SaW HiSTOrY THiS Year! Brooks Koepka won this year’s Open in Wisconsin with a Dustin Johnson, Rory McIlroy and Jason Day made the wrong kind of history at the U.S. Open. They all left early. For the first time since the Official World Golf Ranking began in 1986, Nos. 1, 2 and 3 all missed the cut in a major. Johnson capped off this collective failure with a late collapse on the back nine at Erin Hills, making three bogeys over a five-hole stretch and closing with a 73. cOLLeGe fOOTBaLL HaS a BiTTer SWeeT eNDiNG & BeGiNiNG iN NOrMaN, OKLaHOMa!!! Early last month Bob Stoops announced that after 18 seasons he was stepping down as the Head Football Coach at the University of Oklahoma in what Mr. Sports sees as bitter sweet as I have allot of friends on that coaching staff and Offensive Coordinator Lincoln Riley was tabbed as Stoop’s successor JULY 2017 • WWW.TEXXXAS.com
and is a Mike Leach disciple from Lubbock, TX. Riley becomes the youngest head coach In Division 1 replacing the longest tenured Stoops. Boomer Sooner is all I can say and watch out Big 12!!! Look for Riley to hire former East Carolina Head coach and his former boss Ruffin McNeill to his staff to make it even a stronger one.
TUrNiNG TO MY faNTaSY TeaMS...BOTH THeY & THe STaTe Of BaSeBaLL TOOK a BLOW WHeN MiKe TrOUT WeNT ON THe DL fOr THe firST TiMe iN HiS SHOrT career aND iNTerUpTTeD WHaT WOULD HaVe SUreLY BeeN a THirD STariGHT MVp!!!
The injury-riddled #Angels will be without Mike Trout for a while. Trout was considerably sore and probably a little bit woozy, but he still made his way to Angel Stadium the day after surgery afternoon, hours after undergoing surgery to repair the ulnar collateral ligament and dorsal capsule of his left thumb. He wanted to be there in case Albert Pujols belted his 600th career home run. “That’s the first thing I think I told them coming out of surgery -- I wanted to come see Albert play that night,” said Trout, the Los Angeles Angels’ superstar center fielder, during
a news conference prior to Saturday’s game against the Minnesota Twins. “I told myself I couldn’t miss it. I went out there to the dugout to watch his at-bats. I was definitely aching. I was in some pain.” Every year, a handful of players succumb to a thumb, finger, hand or wrist injury due to a head-first slide. This year, one of them is the reigning AL MVP. Mike Trout might not miss as much time as expected. It took a few days, but Trout did get to see Pujols make history when the slugger hit career homer No. 600 on June 3rd. As for his own status, Trout said he is “getting better” now. He will have the cast removed Sunday and will begin the rehab portion of his recovery Monday. When he does return -- in six to eight weeks, maybe sooner -- Trout will wear a guard on his left hand to protect him on the bases. And he will continue to slide headfirst, even though doing so in Miami last month prompted his first career trip to the disabled list. The 25-year-old has been sliding headfirst ever since he began playing baseball. He tried learning to slide feet first once, but it never felt comfortable and he quickly scrapped it. Oh Boy Fantasy owners like myself will cringe every time he slides!!! 55
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aLL pOSiTiONS aND aUDiTiONiNG eNTerTaiNerS MON-friDaY 11aM-6pM
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DARQUE TAN has over 30 Houston area location and 100 in all. Clients check in at marblefronted reception desks to meet with a member our International Smart Tan Network - staff trained to determine the best path to your bronzing goals. Sessions take place in private rooms that line a column-flanked hallway, where five different levels of UV beds give skin the perfect level of tanning. Mystic Tan and VersaSpa sunless-tanning systems imbue clients with a hydrating, naturallooking glow, which can be customized according to skin tone, desired shade, and spirit animal. A full-time cleaning staff keeps each center in pristine conditions by referencing a 50-point inspection system. Visit Darquetan.com and never again settle for second best. WWW.TEXXXAS.com • JULY 2017
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