Trend F/W 24 - Metamorphosis

TREND

METAMORPHOSIS

CARAPACE

THE POWER OF THE KEFFIYEH: CLOTHES AS POLITICAL STATEMENTS THERE ARE BUTTERFLIES AMONG US IM SCARED OF WHO I WAS, WHAT I AM, AND WHO I WILL BECOME

metamorphosis

/ˌmedəˈmôrfəsəs/

LETTER FROM THE EDITORS

a change of the form or nature of a thing or person into a completely different one, by natural or supernatural means

In this stage of life, most of our generation is now emerging into reality away from childhood and familiarity, not unlike a newly emerged butterfly from a chrysalis–dampened, crumpled, and getting our bearings for this harsh world. We are still coming to terms with post-pandemic society, with political turmoil, with prejudices and hatred, with climate change, and with war and genocide.

The world changes, and us with it. We are growing every day, our wings strengthening. We become bigger, better versions of who we were yesterday. Metamorphosis is the very essence of worldly context at this very point in time, and us in it. Metamorphosis is our celebration of the past, the present, and the future. Metamorphosis is a declaration that you can be anything, anyone you want to be.

In this issue, we looked towards nature, to find our strength in the sea and the land. We looked inward at our own change. We looked outward and observed the changes all around us, in fashion, media, and popular culture, even in the faces of generations past. We celebrate Palestine and we celebrate queer identity. We grapple with the aches and pains of growing up. And we marvel at what is to come.

This issue also marked a period of change for TREND. We have expanded our team to foster more brilliant and creative minds here at UCSD. Together, we have redefined what TREND is, whether that be our creative projects or our social media presence. We have continued our Thrifty Thursdays event in collaboration with UCSD alum Jazzy Threadz to promote sustainable fashion and grow our presence on campus. We are currently planning for our annual fashion show in partnership with The Loft, upcoming May 17, 2024. We are committed to growing the creative community here at UCSD. To our readers, we can’t thank you enough for your support. And to our TREND team, thank you for all your hard work. We are so honored you chose to share a part of yourselves with us and tell your stories. We truly could not have done it without each and every one of you. You inspire us every day. We hope you are as proud of yourselves as we are!

Throughout the creation process, we welcomed diversity of thought and a wide range of interpretations from our team. Whatever Metamorphosis means to you, we hope you walk away feeling your wings beat a little harder. And before you know it, you’ll be ready to catch the wind and take flight.

STAFF LIST

EDITORS-IN-CHIEF

Gianina Fan

Vince Hilahan

EXTERNAL

Maggie Blaisdell

Ryan Freudiger

Diane Ji

Niko Perez

Nimisha Singh

Yuehan Xiong

GRAPHIC DESIGN

Renee Agatep

Jackie D’Amato

Jaime Hayer

Isabelle Liang

Ashley Nguyen

Varsha Sampath

Samuel Piltch

MARKETING

Dilan Adhikari

Emma Burward-Kunde

Antonella Crawley

Leanna Gower

Yu Ishii

Reece Kelly

Jasleen Sahota

Ishani Solanki

PHOTO

William Doan

Sabina Jozwik

Laura Liang

Maya Rosado

Tiffany Shao

Aidan Sidikpramana

Eva Zheng

STYLING

Mia Elliott

Natalie Marrewa

Venice Poggi

Hayley Simpson

Evan Wang

WEB DEV

Mateo Ignacio

Uyen Tran

Ann Yang

WRITING

Alexandra Citra

Grace Morton

Samantha Phan

Ryan Pocinich

Merav Price

Sophia Regier

Chloe Soribello

Yalini Thillaikumaran

im scared of who i was,

scared of who i was...

what i am, and who i will become

photography

AIDAN SIDIKPRAMANA styling

VENICE POGGI

model BRANDON TRAN

change is necessary but often glorified.

the pain and fear that arrives is overshadowed by the idea of a newly realized you when in actuality change and metamorphosis is a constant cycle of self hate and self love.

anger towards your past, hate for your present, fear of your future.

im scared of who i was...

CHRISTIAN NIKOLAS GERONILLA

THE MIRROR

By Grace Morton Accompanied by “Inside Out” by William Doan

You stand paralyzed in between two mirrors creating infinite reflections, a whole army of yourself and all your imperfections, staring into the vessel you might recognize as yourself. It looks familiar, like a person you’ve seen before in passing, maybe in the hallways between classes or at the coffee shop you frequent every morning. But it’s you. It should feel more than familiar. It should feel like that car ride home from a family road trip when you’re sleeping in the backseat, and even though you’re sleeping, you know that you’re three streets away from home due to the turning motions of the car. Or like the blanket you’ve had since you were two. The texture is worn and rough, you haven’t seen or used it in ages, you don’t even know where it is, yet you know exactly what it would feel like to be cocooned inside of it. But you stare at yourself in the mirror for too long, and slowly the person you’re looking at becomes less and less a tactile being that you’ve lived inside your whole life and more like an intruder pointing out everything wrong and everything you can do better. There are many mirror myths, seemingly an infinite amount, one for each of your reflections. There’s Narcissus, who fell so in love with his own reflection in a pond that he couldn’t look away and eventually died from forgetting to eat or drink. There’s the broken mirror, which equates

to seven years of bad luck. There’s the infamous Bloody Mary legend that you’ve definitely tried in your bedroom in the first grade. Then there are all the connections between mirrors and souls. In the Chinese practice of feng shui, it’s a bad idea to place a mirror near your bed, as it would disrupt the flow of energy in the room. This has been twisted through history to mean that if you place a mirror by your bed, spirits from the other side of the mirror will reach out and steal your soul. Maybe that soul from the dark side of the mirror comes from the Jewish Kabbalist tradition of covering mirrors when a loved one dies. Otherwise, if the soul encounters themselves in a mirror they will get trapped inside. Contrarily, you could hang mirrors by their doors or above religious idols as a way to repel evil spirits, in the belief that they will run away if they see their own reflection. Regardless, when you look into a mirror it is so much more than just a reflection of yourself. Behind that glass could be thousands of lost souls, lost thoughts and desires, wishes and secrets confided only to reflections, long neverending lists of flaws wanting to be changed or erased. And you are no different from the rest. You add your qualms to the list, dispelling them to the dark side of the mirror, hoping someone from the depths will provide you with an answer.

From childhood to now, the way you’ve used that mirror has changed, much like your reflection itself. Transforming as a human does through the stages of life. When you were little, it was a magical object that appeared in the numerous fairy tales you read.

“MIRROR,MIRROR ON THE WALL”

Alluring as it was taught to you as a child, showing you that inner beauty is what’s most important, and you believe it. The mirror was something you sat in front of as your mom ripped and pulled your hair into the tightest ponytail imaginable before heading to school. You watched as she struggled with your thick hair and you almost felt like it was your fault for being so difficult. The mirror was a canvas for you to draw squiggles with your Crayola markers, much to the chagrin of your parents. There was always a bottle of Windex on standby for your messes. Now you’re nineteen and you haven’t drawn on your mirror in years. You have to style your hair by yourself now, and you lost all belief in the magic mirror on the wall. You’re a woman now, or at least that’s what you’re told you’re supposed to be. You don’t feel like it. Even though you don’t believe in the magic anymore, you still feel like a little girl who wanders aimlessly through life,

needing to be told what to do, what to wear, what to say. You’re a woman now, or at least you’re trying your best to act like one. Your mirror is now used to try on numerous outfits in order to select the right one for the day. Testing out which jeans accentuate your figure best, which top brings out your eyes, which dress will give you the most compliments. Sneakers or platforms, boots or heels. What is going to make you the most desirable? The mirror is now used to paint your face in layers of makeup, but only after you’ve done your twelve-step skincare routine in preparation. Using retinol on your nineteenyear-old skin because you don’t believe in aging naturally, do you? It is now used to carry out your forty-five-minute hair routine, complete with oils, serums, sprays, and creams – a proper witch you would be if this were the 1700s. Everything the mirror is to you now is to please others.

The mirror exists now solely to provide feedback from society, molding you into another clone of the expectations you are meant to uphold.

“This will make your skin glow!” “Maybe you should start doing crunches before bed, tighten up that belly fat.”

“Smile more, no one will talk to you with that bitch face.”

“But also don’t smile too much because you don’t want those lines around your mouth and eyes.”

It becomes a hounding voice, a force that pulls you in whenever you walk past. When will you be released from its grasp? When will you be okay with yourself?

There will come a day when you’re not a slave to the mirror anymore, when you don’t use it for the benefit of others. Your reflection won’t intimidate you or feel like a stranger; you’ll walk past the mirror, look up, and give a brief nod, like passing by a friend or colleague on the street. You’ll become comfortable with the mirror and all that it entails, it will become just a simple tool of everyday life. You’ll begin to understand that the mirror does not, and cannot, have the power to change who you are.

The way your hair falls in certain patterns, the shape of your eyes, the freckles on your nose, it is all you and now you know that. You won’t even have to peer into a looking glass to check if all your components are still there. You’ll know. It will take time to gain that comfortability, it doesn’t just happen like those movie makeovers where the awkward girl takes her glasses off and suddenly everyone can’t believe what they’ve been missing. But slowly, with each grain of sand in your hourglass of life, you will take control of that mirror and live beyond the radius of its grasp.

photography

WILLIAM DOAN styling

EVAN WANG model

GINA ROBERG

THE POWER OF THE KEFFIYEH: Clothes as Political Statements

BY MERAV PRICE

Walking around campus lately, you may have noticed an uptick of students wearing checkered black and white scarves. University of California, San Diego, like many other college campuses, has become a hotspot for discourse and public displays of support for Palestine in light of the ongoing genocide in Gaza. At the time of writing this, over 25,000 Palestinians have been killed since Oct. 7, 2023. As many as 40 percent of those murdered are children. And this is only the latest episode of over 75 years of Israeli colonial violence against Palestinians. As a symbol of solidarity with the Palestinian cause, more and more people have taken to wearing the keffiyeh, the traditional patterned scarf. It is only one part of a much larger movement to protest the injustice facing the Palestinian people. However, the keffiyeh reveals the unique power of garments and public displays of support in shaping perceptions and expressing solidarity while honoring the rich history of a people that extends far beyond oppression and war. There is a specific power of wearing your beliefs—quite literally—on your sleeve.

So, what is the keffiyeh, and how did it come to be such a widespread sign of solidarity? The keffiyeh is a patterned scarf made of three basic components: the checked fishnet pattern said to represent fishing, bold lines to represent trade lines through Palestine, and waves to represent olive trees. Although this is speculation on the history of the keffiyeh’s design, it nonetheless speaks to the strong ties between Palestinian pride and the land, and has been greatly embraced by Palestinians. These three distinct aspects of historic Palestinian culture have also all uniquely been disrupted by occupation. Olive trees are often subject to settler violence; in the West Bank where olive trees are a common agricultural crop, settlers frequently burn, run over, or uproot the trees with the implicit protection of the Israel Defense Forces. Fishing—a significant source of subsistence and economy in Gaza has fallen victim to Israel’s strict blockade on Gaza. Within the past year alone, there have been over 400 instances of Israeli forces firing at Gazan fishermen. Historic trade routes have also been entirely disrupted by Israeli blockades and borders. Traditionally, the keffiyeh was worn as a marker for nomadic Bedouin men in historic Palestine and provided a tool of protection from the desert elements. It wasn’t until the 1930s that it became used as a nationalistic symbol, worn by Palestinian resistance fighters during the Arab Revolt. As a unifying symbol for Palestinians, its widespread donning was encouraged to make it harder to delineate between the freedom fighters and citizenry. It displays how the struggle for Palestinian liberation was taken up by all Palestinians across social classes and religions, ultimately transforming Palestinian culture and identification through processes of colonialism and resistance. The keffiyeh was further cemented as a symbol of Palestinian nationalism through its wearing by Palestinian political leaders, like the Palestine Liberation Organization’s chairman, Yasser Arafat.

During this time, the keffiyeh also began to be associated with terrorism, receiving high visibility when worn by figures like the former militant Leila Khaled, a member of the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine, most known for her role in a 1969 plane hijacking and was commonly worn during the first and second intifada. As a result of its association with organizations like the PFLP and PLO, who are designated terrorist organizations by the US, EU, and other countries the keffiyeh developed highly racialized cultural associations with terrorism, and has often been misconstrued within popular culture as such.

For example, North Carolina police came under fire in 2022 for showing a school shooting training video to students featuring a keffiyeh-wearing shooter. This portrayal of the keffiyeh is deeply tied with racist affirmations and distortions of Palestinian people and culture, and became another example of how Palestinian livelihood was distorted as a threat, without understanding of history and political context.

This representation of the keffiyeh as fundamentally tied to violence and terrorism is not without very real, violent impacts on the lives of Palestinians. First of all, it is a way to ignore and silence Palestinian voices. As Professor Evan Refno wrote in his article, "Stitched together, torn apart: The keffiyeh as a cultural guide,” terrorism is a label with powerful political implications: “‘Terrorism’, once applied, renders the subject (whether person or item) unable to speak, or be heard, or be seen.”

When the keffiyeh is reduced to a terrorist garb, it renders the rich history and symbolism it carries obsolete, and becomes another way of turning the history of Palestinian struggle and oppression into a monolithic, dismissive ‘terrorist narrative.’ This is the same dehumanizing narrative that is used to justify the genocide in Gaza—by virtue of terrorist associations, Palestinian lives are rendered nonimportant, their deaths simply unavoidable consequences.

This categorization also leads to violence for wearers of the keffiyeh outside of Palestine. In Vermont this past November, three Palestinian university students, Hisham Awartani, Kinnan Abdalhamid, and Tahseen Ali Ahmad, were shot, leaving one of them paralyzed from the chest down. Two of the students were wearing keffiyehs. It’s only one of many recent instances of racialized violence directed at people wearing the keffiyeh, and it illustrates just how pressing it is to deconstruct ‘terrorist’ narratives of the keffiyeh. Now it is more important than ever to show solidarity with Palestinians. Within the past ten years or so, the keffiyeh has been accepted more widely as a symbol of solidarity. But over the past 100 days, since the beginning of the onslaught in Gaza following the Hamas-led attack on Israel on Oct. 7, the headdress has proliferated as a sign of solidarity with Palestine on an unprecedented level. In global protests, often with tens of thousands of attendees, the keffiyeh is often sported by

organizers and attendees alike. Hirbawi, the only remaining producer of keffiyehs in the West Bank, has been continually sold out, and has seen an increase in demand by 200 percent since the beginning of the war. The keffiyeh accomplishes a few basic things as a political sign. One, it is a way for people to wear their support for Palestine on their sleeve. Wearers of the keffiyeh serve as a reminder of what is happening to Palestinians. The keffiyeh ensures that we do not turn our heads from the atrocities being committed in Palestine. It is a way to spark conversations and speak, verbally or nonverbally, to those who are directly affected and serve as a point of education for those who are less informed. It is also an implicit rejection of racialized stereotypes that diminish Palestinian culture and history into a monolithic, decontextualized image of ‘terrorism.’ By proudly wearing garb with such a complex history, woven into every stitch and pattern, it is a tool of reclamation. As important as it is to outwardly support Palestine, it is also important to wear it with respect and full acknowledgment of its history. As is the case with wearing any cultural garment outside of your particular culture, being respectful is crucial for avoiding appropriation. Wafa Ghnaim, a researcher focused on Palestinian clothing explains

“Now, more than ever, is the time to let our voices be heard, and wear our beliefs on our sleeves.

that “cultural appropriation leads to cultural erasure, and it is of utmost importance for those wearing this scarf to educate themselves on its meaning and history.” The style of wear, the colors used, and where it's from all carry unique meaning, and are worth researching before wear. Unsurprisingly, the fashion world has a disappointing history of misuse of the keffiyeh. Multiple fashion designers have been criticized for using it as a fabric entirely divorced from its cultural and political significance. Without intentionality, wearing the keffiyeh as a non-Palestinian is a sign of disrespect.

The keffiyeh is of utmost importance to Palestinians. It’s a sign of yearning, of a decades-long struggle, and for Palestinians in the diaspora, it's a way to carry their homeland with them. In an interview with NPR, queer Palestinian content creator Rand Jitan discusses her relationship with the headscarf. "I put it on and it gives me a feeling," she said. "How powerful is that? Like years and years, these histories that we have in a fucking cloth. It's crazy. It's awesome. It's incredible. It's beautiful." For her, and many

other Palestinians, the keffiyeh is a way to honor their heritage and their community. It’s a sign that Palestinians continue to persist and cherish their ancestry and culture, despite all efforts to make that impossible.

As the war on Gaza continues, and we continue to see more people killed and maimed every day, it is easy to feel a sense of hopelessness and even defeat. All of us who bear witness to such atrocities have an obligation to speak up. This is not a passive obligation—it's one that demands action, which can look like contacting your representatives, attending local protests, donating to on-the-ground efforts, or boycotting the companies that are most culpable. But your closet is another place you can turn to as a way to speak up. Clothes represent a unique political tool, in the constant reminder they present, and their ability to augment the important conversations we need to have. And who knows—you never know who you can make feel a little less alone, or a little more inclined to speak up by wearing your keffiyeh.

To: The bearer of the Kuffiyeh

For those in kuffiyehs draped, it’s more than just cloth’s embrace, It’s a living tale of struggles, woven with honor and grace. Within its folds lie stories, ancient and bold, Of olive trees’ resilience and mariners’ tales untold

The kuffiyeh signifies resistance, it’s more than just a wrap, Each fold breathes courage, in solidarity, it’s a map. It’s a pledge to stand for justice, for those who cannot speak, A silent vow to honor, for the oppressed and meek

Embrace the kuffiyeh, feel the threads of the past, For every fold whispers tales of those who came steadfast. It’s a bond of solidarity, a vow to honor and uphold, A symbol of bravery, in its fabric, stories untold.

It transcends mere fabric, it’s a cloak of pride, A reminder of the struggle, where resilience does reside. Let the kuffiyeh empower, reignite your inner flame, For you hold the power to shape a world with a better aim.

Remember the kuffiyeh and who you wear it for As this is the reminder that’s at the liberation’s core. When you wear the kuffiyeh, remember what it stands for, You are the story, resistance, honor, and more. A testament to Palestine’s resilience, you stand tall, Wear it with pride, for you are the revolution’s call.

So keep your head up high, let its message ring clear, For in the kuffiyeh’s story, freedom draws near. You are the tale, the resistance, the honor it bestows, A testament to resilience, as the revolution grows. Hold your head up high, look up at the white kites fly. For in these threads of revolution, hope will never die Remember the kuffiyeh and who you wear it for As this is the reminder that’s at the liberation’s core.

- A Hopeful Palestinian

The Power of the Keffiyeh: Clothes as Political Statements

For those who don the kuffiyeh, it represents more than just cloth; The Kuffiyeh is a Story

It is a living tapestry woven with the soul of people, story, and land. Within its creases are the strength and resilience of olive trees, intertwined with the adventurous stories of Palestinian mariners exploring the vast Mediterranean Sea.

The Kuffiyeh is a story, The Kuffiyeh is Resistance, The Kuffiyeh is Honor, It surpasses the bounds of a mere scarf. The kuffiyeh is the fabric of resistance;

with each fold, it breathes courage and solidarity, echoing the everlasting spirit of a people rooted in their tradition akin to the olive trees on their beloved homeland. Both bound by resilience. A timeless reminder of defiance against injustice’s relentless tares. When you embrace the kuffiyeh, you become a conduit for the untold stories and unwavering resilience of those who came before us. It is more than mere cloth draped around shoulders; it is a righteous solidarity, an innocuous vow to honor all those who can no longer stand for Palestine. It whispers stories of bravery in every fold, weaving strands of remembering for the many individuals who dared to resist oppression. In donning the kuffiyeh, we embrace the timeless resilience of the Palestinians who came before us.

The Kuffiyeh is a story The Kuffiyeh is Resistance The Kuffiyeh is Honor It transcends the confines of an ordinary scarf

For in these scarves we find the quintessence of life’s fight. The Kuffiyeh is Honor

Allow the kuffiyeh to empower you, allow its warmth to reignite your soul and remind you of the resilience from within. Know that you possess the power to enact change, that you embody the very essence of revolution. You have the ability to shape a better world for all.

When you wear the kuffiyeh let it serve as a reminder that now, You are the Story You are Resistance You are Honor. You are a testament to the Palestinian resilience, you are the revolution. You are a vessel of change. You bear the responsibility of sharing the plight of the Palestinian people. Wear it proudly, hold your head high, for these threads of revolution will once again find their way beneath the Palestinian sky.

there are butterflies among us

A story of transformation, metamorphosis, and self-discovery within the transgender community

there are butterflies among us

METAMORPHOSIS: the moment when the caterpillar transforms in magnificent butterfly, a creature with dazzling colors and wings to take it around the world. Merriam-Webster describes metamorphosis as

“Change of physical form, structure, or substance, especially by supernatural means.”

For those that fall out of the so-called gender binary, this idea of transformation is a familiar one.

there are butterflies among

photographer: angelina dyrnaes model: rain lins

From Caterpillar to Butterfly: Finding Your Identity

The trans community at University of California is nothing short of vibrant. Third-year UCSD student Reece Kelly identifies as trans nonbinary and shares their self-discovery journey: “No matter what I am, at the end of the day, like in 10 years I could be this, in five minutes I could be different–I know I am Reece and that’s not going to change.”

For some, falling out of the gender binary is a truth that has always been known. “I have been this gay and this queer ever since I was little,” Kelly says, eyes twinkling.

For others, discovering one’s gender identity has taken more reflection. “It’s something I realized, like hindsight,” says UCSD fourth-year student Kiki Drew, who identifies as nonbinary and is an intern at the UCSD LGBTQ Resource Center. “Because when I was a kid, I was like, ‘oh I’m not a girl but I’m not a boy. The more that I learned about gender, gender identity and expression, I was able to narrow down how I felt.”

For third-year UCSD student Jay Rangarajan, it took some self-reflection before coming to the conclusion that they don’t fit into the gender binary. “Being nonbinary as a [assigned female at birth] person has allowed me to be more comfortable with my femininity as well, and express the entire spectrum of gender in a way that I can be a lot more comfortable with, instead of this toxic thought process.” For them, the hardest part was self-validation. But at the end of the day, they concluded that, “I identify the way I do for myself.”

Third-year UCSD student Rain Lins didn’t start to think about their gender identity until senior year of high school: “I was thinking, I don’t really identify as a girl.” For some time, they went strictly by they/them pronouns before exploring the more genderfluid side of their identity. “I’ve come to the realization that I can be both: I can feel masculine and I can feel feminine. Both of those things can be okay for me,” Lins says proudly. Now, they use all pronouns.

And for others, the journey of self-discovery is a little bit of both. Fourth-year UCSD student Noah Berlandier acknowledges that his gender identity is something he’s always known, “but when you don’t have the words to express something, it’s hard to even realize it exists.” Berlandier started watching a YouTuber by the name of Alex Bertie who documented his transition online. “It made me realize, ‘wait, that’s a thing? I can

actually do that?’” he says with a smile. Berlandier started presenting as male in seventh grade and introduced his new name in eighth grade. He recalls being misgendered often during that period. Later, he started his medical transition in sophomore year of high school and started testosterone in October of junior year.

Where you come from can influence your relationship with your identity and expression of it. Berlandier was born and raised in Hillcrest, the center of San Diego’s queer scene in an otherwise red, conservative county. Despite Hillcrest’s queer-friendly reputation, Berlandier found that there weren’t many opportunities to connect with others under the age of 21, given the prominence of nightlife in the area, which he found to be “isolating.”

Rangarajan hails from San Jose where their family has many connections with others in the community, which made them a little less comfortable with expressing and sharing their identity.

As for Lins, growing up in Salt Lake City, Utah had a great influence on expressing their identity: “It’s a heavily Mormon area and a lot of Mormons tend to not be super accepting of LGBTQ people. I grew up not really realizing the extent of my queerness and my gender identity.” However, Lins acknowledges that they are lucky to have a solid family support system.

As a nonbinary person of color, Rangarajan admits that, “I prioritize my relationship with my family a little bit over my relationship with myself.” Rangarajan struggles with the Western ideologies of individualism versus their own upbringing of a strong familial obligation. “Being someone who my family can count on is also fulfilling to me, besides being true to my gender identity,” they say.

Kelly also finds struggles between their identity and their relationship with family: “I’ve run away twice because of the way I was being treated at home. My first bullies were really my family.” They continue:

“I still feel lucky because I, throughout my life, have always had a community and a family, whether or not they were biological.”

there are butterflies among

Oppressions of an Anti-Trans Society

In 2022, a record number of anti-trans legislation passed: an astonishing 17 bills that target trans and non-binary children. Now, 19 states exclude transgender athletes in school sports, 5 states restrict access to gender-affirming care, and 7 laws that restrict classroom discussion of issues regarding the LGBTQ community and other marginalized groups were passed. Florida’s “Don’t Say Gay” bill prevents this discussion at school, along with requiring students to be outed to their parents. In Tennessee, transgender youth are barred from gender-affirming care–such as puberty blockers, hormones, and surgery–and drag performances are declared illegal for the first time in the United States.

“It’s not a ban on drag,” Kelly says of SB 3. “It’s a ban on trans people. There are trans people that do drag. There are cis people that do drag. And it is becoming a more blurred line of what’s considered to be drag. So that’s the scary part about it, is that somebody in public who is an openly trans person could be seen and–and that’s in a space with any child, in a supermarket, in a BestBuy, in a public park–somebody could call the police and say that ‘there is a drag queen in front of children performing.’ Even if they’re walking, even if they’re doing anything. And that trans person could be arrested.”

Kelly continues: “Impacted the most: trans people of color, and trans fem people of color. Because those are typically, in the very narrow mind of conservative ideologies–that’s what a drag queen looks like, a ‘woman-impersonator,’

there are butterflies among us

and people of color are obviously not given the same license in judicial fields as well.”

The ban prohibits drag performances in public, in the presence of children, and prevents them from being performed within 1,000 feet of schools, public parks, or places of worship. Offenders of this ban may be fined up to $2,500 and/or face up to a year behind bars. In the words of Kelly, “You have a felony charge for existing.” Rights are being stripped and people are being silenced. Trans Montana legislator Zooey Zephyr has been voted out from the House of Representatives by the Republican-controlled chamber for her comments on gender-affirming healthcare. Florida governor Ron DeSantis signed an act that allows healthcare providers to deny medical services–even in a medical emergency–based on personal ethical, moral, or religious beliefs and fails to provide protections on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity.

Just this past month, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in favor of Lorie Smith, a Colorado-based website designer who refused to do samesex wedding work on the basis of the First Amendment. As they tiptoed around rewarding discriminatory behavior, the judges instead ruled to uphold Smith’s freedom of speech. However, it certainly opens the floodgates of encouraging further discrimination–because if you discriminate, the highest court in the country will back you up!–and not just on the basis of sexual orientation, but all aspects of being queer.

Aside from legislation, antitrans rhetoric is running rampant.

After trans TikTok sensation Dylan Mulvaney made a promotional video for Bud Light, conservatives began calling for a boycott of the beer. Videos of people destroying the cans went viral. Mulvaney herself was threatened relentlessly online, as well as stalked and the victim of personal attacks. Bud Light did nothing to protect her or even acknowledge the events that transpired.

Society’s inability to accept the trans community is proving to be dangerous. Trans murders and mortalities are on the rise, with Black transgender women most at risk. Of fatal violence victims who identify as queer or gender nonconforming, 63 percent are Black trans women.

Drew admits that they feel scared for those in states where “transness is being policed so heavily,” especially the young people who lack the resources to uproot and move to a more progressive state.

While he feels safe in California, Berlandier finds himself keeping an eye on national news. He brings up discussions around the potential mifepristone–an abortion inducing drug–ban in Texas, and how avenues may lead to testosterone being banned. “That would definitely, a hundred percent affect me. If I lose access to [testosterone], I’d have to go through not-so-legal routes.”

For Berlandier, the biggest impact is emotional: “I just know from the hardships I experienced when I wasn’t able to transition, how horrible–so many people of all ages are going to feel this, especially young people. That definitely weighs on me.”

But in his humbleness, Berlandier acknowledges, “I have to be clear, I am far from the most affected person by [anti-trans legislation].”

With Lins’ connection to Utah, they find it hard to see their own community suffering from afar. “It’s hard to be [in California], in a much more liberal area, and feel like I can’t really do anything to help people back home. It’s honestly really scary.” They continue, “I think I’m pretty lucky because I don’t feel like I need to really change my appearance in order to express my transness, or nonbinaryness. But for a lot of people I know, that’s a huge part of their journey.”

“I have a trans cousin who lives in Texas, and I just feel for him so much. It’s just so heartbreaking to hear about these bills that are attacking people’s livelihoods,” says Lins. “[Anti-trans] news does make me kind of hopeless. But I also really value being informed,” Lins continues. “I think I can make better decisions when I know

what’s happening.” They follow the politics closely in their home state of Utah.

In response to processing negative news about the trans community, Rangarajan says, “You don’t have to be on the frontlines all the time, fighting for your identity all the time.” It is an exhausting and mentally draining cycle. Their advice is to find an ally to fight alongside you and to remember to be kind to yourself when you can’t be so vocal. Rangarajan makes the effort to follow and share trans artists, a quieter but equally important act of support.

Ready to Take Flight: Looking Ahead

“It is scary,” Kelly says of anti-trans rhetoric. “But I think it also gives me hope because this same stuff was happening to queer people and cis gay people when gay marriage was being passed.”

“It also lets me know that we’re doing something right. Because when they’re trying to stop us, that means that we’re actually making headway in the mainstream

media, that we’re becoming impactful, influential figures. Our queerness, our transness is making waves in society. And they are scared of that,” says Kelly. “Trans people are becoming so much more visible. I mean, there are trans people everywhere in the media,” Kelly continues. “The first trans individual that I ever saw on TV was from drag race, or that I was aware of. And now they’re in cooking shows, they’re in kids programming, they’re in all these more accessible places. Trans people and queer people are not going anywhere.”

When asked about the most difficult parts of coming out, Berlandier promptly responds with “other people,” without missing a beat, laughing as he says it. “You know who you are, the hard part is getting other people to accept it and see you as who you are.”

Kelly agrees with this sentiment: “As queer people, the only reason why you’re considered to be different is because you’re told you’re different. Society has told us that you are different, you are strange, you are weird.”

They add that lately as someone who identifies as trans nonbinary, they’ve also struggled with where they fit into the trans community. The socalled standards for identifying as trans today are completely different than it was a generation ago. “I never want to invalidate the trans identity. There’s obviously no right or wrong way to be trans,” says Kelly. “But I’m recognizing my privilege of being able to look like I am assigned male at birth, to be a cis white man passing person. I want to recognize and understand that me being able to put an identity of being trans on there is also a privilege.” Kelly acknowledges that the experiences of those who are visibly trans is a far

photographer: angelina dyrnaes | models (left to right): nel satriya, rain lins, kalea lising, reece kelly, kiki drew

more “tumultuous” experience than what they themselves would ever experience.

There is so much more to being trans than combatting societal expectations and being an activist in the face of sobering news. Those are important factors, yes, but there are also so many beautiful aspects as well. “It is so fun,” Kelly says of being queer, smiling. “There’s no rules of being a queer person, there’s no rules of being a trans person. You get to just express your way and be this unserious, fun-loving person in a very serious and harsh world.”

Community is a significant part of the journey as well. Getting emotional, Kelly says, “I’m so grateful to be a part of this [community] because I know so many people are struggling and I’m just so happy to be a part of it, because I don’t know what I would look like, I don’t know where I would be [without it] and it’s just such a magical thing.”

“There’s no rules of being a queer person, there’s no rules of being a trans person.”

Drew says of their BIPOC queer community: “It helps me feel more visible and like I can let my guard down.” Likewise, Rangarajan has found their community being on board at the UCSD organization QTPOC, where they have been able to connect with other queer people of color.

On the best parts of being trans, Berlandier highlights the things that bring you joy: “When you first start your transition, it’s like really big things, like ‘oh hey, my voice dropped. Oh hey, I got top surgery.’ Later on, you focus on the smaller things like, ‘oh hey, this earring makes me feel really nice.’”

As for advice, Kelly says this: “People are already going to have a million things to say about you and a million things to think about you. And the quicker you realize that none of it matters, or whatever they say is going to happen, you just do you. That is when you will be able to express yourself, and be as queer and as trans or as whatever you want as possible.”

“I would tell every single struggling queer person to just–if you’re struggling about coming out, if you’re struggling about existing, or worried about–girl, put on the eyeliner. Go kiss the boy. Go kiss the girl. Go kiss the them,” Kelly continues. “You are not going to want to regret not being your most authentic self possible.”

“There are going to be people who want to do that and you’re going to be their spotlight of, ‘I can go do that.’ Being yourself is just a snowball effect. It is the gay agenda. All we want is for everyone to be themselves and have fun. And if that’s an agenda, momma I’m signed up for the agenda, I’m signed up for the newsletter, I’m signed up for everything that comes with that.” Kelly declares.

Drew tacks on their advice of being patient with one’s transition journey: “Even if shit is hitting the fan, working with what you have is always the best, instead of pushing yourself down and hiding who you are.” It is alright to not be where you want to be in terms of physical appearance because you will absolutely get there one day.

“There’s a lot of prescriptive rules about gender,” begins Berlandier. “I’ve come to find that a lot of gender is kind of like diy–do it yourself. You take what you like, you leave what you don’t. And at the end of the day, the only person it needs

to make sense to is yourself. And you don’t really owe explanations or justifications to other people.” The trans community is diverse and beautiful. They all have different life experiences, and they all have different journeys in finding and expressing their identities. Kelly is a business psychology major and loves video games–they’re a part of UCSD’s JV Overwatch team. Drew is a theater major and hopes to be a voice actor, or work on stage and in musicals in the future. Rangarajan is a bioinformatics major with a minor in critical gender studies. They are planning on going for their PhD when they graduate and have a seconddegree black belt in taekwondo. Berlandier is a clinical psychology major and hopes to be a physical therapist after he graduates. He loves drawing, painting, and roller skating. Lins is an urban studies planning major and hopes to do climate change work in the future. At the end of the day, trans people are people, human like everyone else. They deserve to exist, they deserve to live without fighting for every breath. If you’re a part of this beautiful community, you are deeply loved and supported. If you are an ally, extend a shoulder to lean on and use your voice to speak on the behalf of others–you have the power to do so.

Resources and community here at UCSD can be found in the LGBTQIA Resource Center, gender-inclusive housing, the LGBTQIA+ Living and Learning Community (LLC) at Muir College, counseling with CAPS, the LGBT Discord server, and organizations such as QTPOC.

By Gianina Fan

photography

EVA ZHENG styling

HAYLEY SIMPSON model

COCO ZHENG

Celebrity Worship in the Digital Age

If you’re not on social media, which is a choice I reluctantly commend despite my unrelenting attachment to the apps, then you’re probably not aware of the complex network of celebrity worship circuits thriving under each media monolith.

Celebrity worship is hardly something new to the U.S. public conscience; a teenage obsession with some alluring pop sensation marked an expected social cue for adolescents during the reign of 1950s radio hitmakers, morphed by a half-century into the 2000s tabloid diva. When the rise of the influencer began, the methods by which celebrity worship proliferated online were transformed. The democratization of fame was ushered in and those without any significant ties to the entertainment industry became the subjects of cultish adoration, continuing a steadfast cycle of surveillance that has yet to be eradicated. Today, anyone can commodify their life and achieve the title of “celebrity”. The once coveted status symbol has become diluted into a get-rich-quick philosophy for sustaining the attention of a collective. In December of 2024, streaming platform Max released their highly anticipated documentary miniseries, Love Has Won: The Cult Of Mother God, which reflects the negative impacts of celebrity parasocial relationships on young adults. And what exactly is a “parasocial relationship” again? Defined in 1956 by sociologists Donald Horton and R. Richard Wohl as a relationship that “...psychologically resemble(s) those of face-to-face interaction but…are of course mediated and one-sided,” the nature of this dynamic becomes increasingly lucrative to the economy with the introduction of social media marketing. In Love Has Won, we are introduced to a religious movement founded by “Mother God” (otherwise known as metaphysical enthusiast Amy Carlson) whose core tenet of belief is that she is the creator of the universe. She developed her theology as if she was divined to be a celebrity; she claimed to be the reincarnation of Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, and other revered feminine figures throughout history, solidifying a mythology that feels like a dream Many of the movement’s former members were encouraged to withdraw from society and come live with “Mother God” to ensure their eternal salvation, leaving a trail of estranged relationships in their path to finding belonging in the world. Carlson had established a thriving presence online that was both amicable and tantalizing enough to mobilize a tightknit group of loyal followers to her compound. Basically, web addiction turned into a radical revision of thought. Carlson desperately wanted to feel cherished by a community and

By Ryan Pocinich

more importantly, knew that preying on those who mirrored her could be malleable targets for mentorship. It is a narcissist’s dream scenario–a dozen lost souls clinging to your every word for community and purpose. Community and purpose seem like warranted desires to much of humanity, so don’t be too critical of Carlson’s follower base. In a world that is becoming exponentially individualistic, you may be more susceptible to e-cult tactics than you think. Gone are the days of Manson families forming organically. They are forcibly bred through algorithmic functions, producing the fame

Love Has Won unpacks a distinctly 21st-century business strategy of curating a celebrity’s intimate life just as holistically as their public image, thus exacerbating the sense of false intimacy craved by parasocial fanatics. Most days, I open Instagram to see an ad targeted towards one of the myriads of niche interests I possess and think, holy shit! Instagram knew exactly what to show me today, and of course that was on purpose. The model of selling a celebrity has shifted from an outright commercial campaign for international stardom into a cryptic art of finding the balance between promotion and relatability. This is no doubt a symptom of the influencer movement and the metamorphosis of the online celebrity from tabloid to social media. Every selfie seemingly snapped in a matter of seconds, then swiftly posted to your favorite celebrity’s Instagram story has been reviewed by a team of creative marketing interns making sure their Samsung Galaxy 4 and Glossier lip tint are placed perfectly behind them, subtly saying Buy me and I’ll grant you this life no problem! Fans have picked up on these subverted selling points,

but most are willing to indulge in just a small dosage of delusional thought for the sake of uplifting their “fav’s” brand, which is equated to their personal character. They proudly wear the brand label of “Belieber” or “Swiftie” without thinking twice about their willing participation in the reinforcement of a global economic empire. Despite Horton and Wohl’s initial claim that parasocial relationships are purely “onesided”, social media has provided fans with access to a reliable stream of celebrity content as if they’re a close friend passively updating you on the happenings of their extrapolated existence. It blurs the important boundary between person and performance, a distinction that allows celebrities to maintain a healthy distance from their consumer base. A viral video taken at a Taylor Swift concert last summer showed the artist performing her song “marjorie” while fans seated in the first few rows raised posters featuring blown-up photographs of Swift’s deceased grandmother after whom the song is named. Swift accepted the gesture with an expression of composed surprise, sending fan accounts dedicated to the superstar into another exhausting cycle of hot takes on whether these concert attendees had crossed a clear boundary with these well-meaning art projects. A plethora of pro-poster arguments cited Swift’s own deep “personal” ,connection with her supporters as ample evidence that she would approve of the matter outright; other fans admitted the act was a bit odd, considering an old photograph of your dead relative isn’t the first thing you’d expect to see during your sold-out stadium show. Whether or not you agree with this topic of debate, the fact remains that artists are a business before they are transparent.

Not to tie everything back to capitalism, but we must continue to examine the methods by which we interact with celebrities on social media and remain conscious of how these methods are indicative of a greater business tactic. Celebrities with millions of supporters are understandably not relatable to the average person, but it is their marketing team’s sole responsibility to facilitate some type of connection between their fans and clients. A celebrity’s tethering to their fanbase is the sole dictation of their career longevity. No amount of nepotism or industry blackmail will guarantee a raw emotional response. It’s a difficult feat to accomplish off of a business model alone, but one that remains elusive enough to be expressed as a “natural” rise to fame. An artist is a profession above all else, and although social media has eroded this image into the form of palatable daily interaction, the “bonds” being developed are purely one-sided, a truth that many parasocial partakers willfully ignore. As demonstrated by the Swift example, this onesided bond is not exclusively damaging to the consumer. Celebrities have tirelessly expressed their discontent with how entitled new supporters feel to the intimate details of their lives. And, when interacting with social media algorithms that reward the most reaction-privy statements, comment sections can devolve into a chamber of hyper fixation. Has my favorite celebrity gone on Ozempic? They’re looking extra skinny…they have to be doing Keto. Did their partner recently divorce them? The invasive nature of these ponderings speaks for itself. Thankfully, most publicists are hired to help keep celebrities distracted fromv such brain-numbing discourse, but the overwhelming amount of opinion and conversational ignorance can be excruciatingly difficult to tolerate.

It’s a natural human response to feel emotionally attached to the auteur of the content you so deeply love, but a persona is never a truthful representation of a single person’s identity; their life is not bound to the social dimensions of their online presence. I am constantly having to remind myself of this as I feel compelled to react a certain way toward my favorite celebrities’ online postings. It all boils down to remaining aware of the media we consume, especially when our internet is fueled by a capitalistic system. I’m all for engaging in a little gossip but boundaries and privacy exist for valid reasons. For Mother God’s sake, why can’t we all just start stanning our actual family members? You know…getting to genuinely know your family members. If you want community, start building it tangibly. Start stalking your grandmother. I’m sure she’ll appreciate it more than a good-looking stranger who just wants your money.

photography VINCE HILAHAN styling SAMUEL PILTCH model REECE MACDONALD

“Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.”

BEHIND THE MASK: WRITTEN BY SAMANTHA PHAN

I first heard the term cosplay during my junior year of high school. I had come across it while browsing websites for fandom communities and reading comments under my favorite animation videos. At the time it seemed simple enough; cosplay was a Halloween costume, only not always on Halloween. I imagined cheap polyester fabrics and half-hearted attempts at makeup. But the more I exposed myself to cosplay content, the more I realized how expansive the genre could be. I saw thousands of pictures and videos of immensely talented individuals donning decadent and elaborate garments. Some were handmade, others were store-bought; all required a large amount of time, money, or effort. This was not a silly, wear-once-anddiscard costume. This was art.

Theresa Winge, assistant professor at MSU, outlines the history of cosplay in her book Costuming Cosplay: Dressing the Imagination. Though cosplay has somewhat of a debated origin story, she tells the version of events that she finds the most accurate. According to Winge, a Japanese studio head named Takahashi Nobuyuki visited a sci-fi convention in Los Angeles and was immediately struck by all the dedicated fans dressing as their favorite futuristic characters. He wrote about the experience upon his return to Japan, calling it kosupure, or costume play. By the 1980s, the phenomenon had grown like wildfire, eventually returning to the U.S. under the name of cosplay.

Wilson (@wilsonn.zhang on Instagram), a cognitive science student at the University of California, San Diego, says he got into cosplay in the late 2000s. He was in middle school and in love with the popular webcomic series Homestuck. Inspired, he chose to dress up as Homestuck’s titular character, John Egbert. Wilson describes the cosplay as fairly basic, a plain white T-shirt with an iron-on print.

Over time, Wilson began to make more elaborate costumes. He describes it as a huge learning curve: making props, hand sewing, and makeup skills all came with time and practice. “I’m a lot better now,” he says, laughing. This is certainly true. Wilson’s Luffy (One Piece) cosplay won a second-place award at a local cosplay competition. The costume used a red shirt with cut sleeves, sewed-on buttons, and a straw hat from Goodwill. He even painted a detailed scar on his chest using liquid latex, concealer, and lipstick. Wilson was incredibly modest when discussing this achievement.

“It was kind of a really last-minute thing because I wasn’t planning on dressing up. But I just happened to be walking past this anime figurine store that was hosting a cosplay contest on the same day and I was like, what are the odds?”

Wilson says that most of his cosplay experience comes from early fandom communities. Back then, it was not as simple as finding a tutorial on Youtube. He was constantly scrolling through message boards and forums, trying to find advice on how to create great cosplay. For those of you who can recall this pop culture era, anime, which is now the most commonly cosplayed media, was not as popular as it is now. Wilson remembers keeping his interest in anime fairly low profile. While he was not a “closet weeb” he only talked about his love of anime with people who he knew had a common interest.

“Anime is a lot more mainstream now. More people are getting into it.”

But he agrees that “Anime is a lot more mainstream now. More people are getting into it.” He also describes it as part of the experience of being Asian. While he has not done cosplay in a while, Wilson plans to get back into it, hoping to do a group costume with his friends as the Fire Force team.

Viggo, a second-year UCSD nanoengineering major, had his first experience with cosplay much later. It was Halloween during his sophomore year of high school and he wanted to create a really cool costume. He used a blue bodysuit, a bald cap, and masking tape to create his first real cosplay: Megamind. He says that once he had the idea, he scoured thrift stores to find the pieces to make it all come together. “I don’t typically like to spend all that much money on it. Like, with the Megamind stuff, it was very resourceful.”

This seemed to be a common theme throughout Viggo’s cosplays. He says that even if you have a limited budget, you can make some great garments. You do not have to invest hundreds of dollars if you learn to be creative. He used his Gohan (Dragon Ball Z) cosplay as an example. He had found a standard-issue karate gi at Goodwill and dyed it purple at home. He then found a wig he used to replicate the

iconic spiky hair. This piece was a bit of a learning curve. “Wig hair isn’t really like, real hair. It didn’t exactly stay together for too long,” he admits, laughing. And yet, when I look at the photos, I can see that he was really selling himself short. Even just using what he had on hand, Viggo’s costume came together beautifully.

When giving advice to new cosplayers, Viggo presses the importance of not procrastinating. He says that while you do not need to break the bank with materials and store-bought costumes, the fewer resources you have at your disposal, the more time, effort, and planning you need to put into it. Searching for supplies and transforming them into something new takes much longer than a few clicks and an Amazon order. But he insists that, despite this, people shouldn’t be afraid to try cosplay. Not only has it provided him with a great creative outlet and extremely cool costumes, but it has also led him to explore other creative avenues, such as drag. “I just enjoy expressing myself in a way where it’s not, like, my normal self. It’s a cool feeling.”

Owen, a fourth-year bioengineering and bioinformatics student, first became interested in cosplay

“I just enjoy expressing myself in a way where it’s not, like, my normal self. It’s a cool feeling.”

through their friends in high school. However, it was not until the Covid-19 lockdown that they got the opportunity to try it out for themselves. One of their most recent cosplays was of the character Kajiyama Fuuta from an animated music video series MILGRAM by DECO*27. They walked me through the entire garment-making process from start to finish, allowing me to see what really goes into making great cosplay.

Owen begins by admitting that the base of this cosplay was not too difficult, the two components being a plain white t-shirt and black pants. However, the straps the character wore around their torso would be much harder to replicate. They ended up using Japanese techno-straps and customized them to make them as accurate as possible. Owen had to paint the straps in both white and red, as well as draw out Japanese characters. This proved to be a bit of a struggle: while they knew a little bit of Japanese, some of the intricate characters were extremely hard to replicate.

They also had some trouble creating the eyepatch. Their first attempt used regular cotton balls attached together with a string. Unfortunately, these materials were hard to work with and did not create the clean shape that Owen was looking for. Their second attempt used a facemask, which worked a lot better and ended up in the final design. Owen also went through the trouble of cutting the hair on their orange wig and painting their socks gold, all to ensure maximum accuracy.

The final product was not perfect. Owen confesses that despite the high-quality straps they used, the actual fit was still a little tight. The time spent on the cosplay also caused them to neglect to study for midterms. The costume needed to be done by Halloween and one of these deadlines had to take priority. We have certainly all been there. But all of their hard work was worth it: Owen says that the experience was enjoyable and that they were very proud of the end result. It reminded them of how fun and gratifying cosplay can be. In the future, Owen plans on continuing cosplay, wearing different costumes to conventions, and even trying out crossdressing. They declared that good character designs are good regardless of gender identity.

Owen already has some experience attending anime conventions in cosplay. They said that when you are constantly surrounded by people in costumes it is hard to not be in awe of it all. There is a large sense of community there; people in costumes are all connected by their love of characters and cosplay. You can even ask cosplayers of your favorite characters to take pictures with you, almost like at Disneyland. Of course crowded all-day events are not for everyone. But Owen says that as long as you know your limits, it is amazing to be surrounded by people who have the same interests as you. The closer I look into the world of cosplay, the more amazed and astounded I am by the people and communities who make it happen. Cosplayers put so much hard work and effort into these costumes and in the end it all pays off. I will not lie, the fangirl in me still squeals with joy whenever I see a cosplay of my favorite characters. But cosplay is not just about dressing up. It is about a community coming together to share their love of the things they enjoy. It is a way to innovate and get creative with the ways you create garments. It is delving into your passions and expressing yourself in new and exciting

ways.

There have been times in my life when I watch a show or read a book and find a character that I relate to so deeply, it is like looking in a mirror. And I’m not the only one. Art is special because of the profoundly human connection that we have to it. And cosplay is a way for you to take all that connection, all that love you have for your favorite characters, and put it into your work. Put it into cosplay.

and as you take the time to love your favorite character, you might find a moment in there to love yourself too.

photography LAURA LIANG styling NATALIE MARREWA model TIFFANY SHAO

I NO LONGER FEAR THE UNDOING UNDOING UNDOING UNDOING I NO LONGER FEAR THE

BY CHLOE SORIBELLO

a multitude of eyes, penetrating the body i yield tremors like shocks of electricity running up and down, unwavering cracked along the edges glass morphing the image as so— hips protruding a skin so incomprehensible stretching past the bone unrecognizable of a woman once so readily familiar is now a stranger

it aches all over

grieves all over as if the supple skin is peeled tenderly like the ripest orange red, rippling muscle gleaming against low, soft hues

uncovered

bare

vulnerable wounds ripped into the open.

the body will cry, “please, stop.

it hurts. ” and the grief that comes with breaking the boundaries, the walls, the expectations of who i was supposed to be—

no longer sits, there is no longer shame in the person i had to destroy in order to accept

instead— of flinching, of shying away, maybe i am briefly gorgeous despite the alchemy and the suffering, creating the narratives of what is expected from me into something tangible, livable, beautiful

with the resounding noise that our existence, no matter the changing of shapes of form of soul is not any less powerful, any less worthy of everlasting joy born anew, made free; and with that, the sky will rain golden lavender and shades of blue and a skin once so incomprehensible, fits rather snugly and the leaves will chatter and the earth will brim with life singing, dancing, holding onto the hope that

survival is not all we have to know and the bones shining against the black canvaswill twinkle with the silent affirmation that i have always been my own that we are boundless marked by the astounding beauty of our aliveness. I No Longer

ON THE OUTSIDE

Men are called to be the primary providers for their families in the home and in the church. Real men are dominant, tough, logical, decisive, and natural leaders.

A man does not need to act like a woman because he can never be a woman. He can never process information like a woman, because his brain, his DNA, and his entire being are male. The same is true for women trying to be men. An “effeminate” man in this verse is one who has rejected his masculinity and identifies as a female. He may or may not be sexually active, but he has chosen to live intentionally as a “soft and delicate” person, rather than embrace His God-given identity as a man. He takes on the characteristics of a female and relates to other males much like women do.

Deuteronomy 22:5 says,

Women are called to be the primary nurturers for their families. Ideal women are soft-spoken, submissive, passive, dependent, emotional, and natural caretakers.

“A woman must not wear men’s clothing, nor a man wear women’s clothing, for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this.”

For a man to despise his gender and identify as a woman, or for a woman to abandon her gender and present herself as a man, is wrong. Perversion escalates when women and men abandon their God-ordained identities and try to adopt the characteristics of the opposite gender. Men become like women, and women become like men. The sin lies in our choices, not our natural differences.

photography

SABINA JOZWIK styling

SABINA JOZWIK model

RESURFACING THE SELF:

By Sophia Regier

Something about a childhood photo always gets me. Whether it’s my own, or a friend’s, or even someone I don’t really know, there’s something so magical about seeing someone as they used to be, often decades before. Maybe it helps humanize people, it puts their lives in perspective for me, that they existed long before I knew them. Looking at young photos of myself feels strange, almost foreign in the way I look upon myself. It can be difficult, yes, knowing that I did not treat my child self kindly, wishing that I could go back and change things, but not knowing what I would actually change.

I found a picture in my grandmother’s basement on Thanksgiving. It’s a little girl with a Hello Kitty t-shirt and jorts, and a pink sweatband around her ankle, and she has the most joyful smile. She’s crouched in an egg statue that they have at the San Diego Safari Park, and there’s face paint on her cheek. She has these sandals with cupcakes on them and two braids that have begun to fall out, and well, it’s me. It’s me, probably about 15 years ago, on a day trip to the zoo, before my mom had to make me pose or ask me to please smile with my teeth. There’s no insecurity, no self-awareness, no worrying about who is looking and what they will think. There is only joy.

I have spent my whole life chasing for that moment. Not that I remember it, by the way. I don’t recall that day. I have no memory of

getting my face painted, or putting on my outfit that morning, or what kind of sandwiches we had for lunch. But I want to remember that feeling. And I do. Yes, maybe the pessimist in me wants to remind myself that I will never not have self awareness again. I can’t go back to being a small child, four or five, holding onto the stroller to keep up with my family. But maybe that’s for the best. Because I still find my girlhood reborn in new ways.

I have grown since then. I have seen death and hardship in the world, experienced excruciating breakups with friends that used to be my everything, been forced to change the way I interact with the world around me. I have had time after time where I have needed to reevaluate my choices, who I am, who I want to become. But as I grow older, I have slowly begun to realize that my time as a child is not gone, but transformed. It is still very much a part of me, it is my choice whether or not I will shove her down, or if I will hold her hand and show her how far I have come.

She will always be there, laughing as loud as she wants, crying whenever she pleases, celebrating being able to ride the swing all by herself. She never left. She lives with me, and I do my best to remember that while I’m skipping across the sidewalk or holding hands with my friends. Yes, I am different than I was, but that girl lives on, and I will never let her die.

GIRLHOOD, WOMANHOOD, THE IN-BETWEEN

Resurfacing the Self: Girlhood, Womanhood, and the In-Between

photography

TIFFANY SHAO styling

MIA ELLIOTT model

LAURA LIANG

THE RISE OF A24

Text and illustrations:

Yalini Thillaikumaran

You don’t have to be a cinephile to have heard of A24. The once-small entertainment company has taken over the world, creating arthouse masterpieces that force themselves into the mainstream. Much of Gen Z swears by A24 films- praising their art direction, shot choices, and diverse storytelling. From indie releases such as Spring Breakers (2012) to Best Picture winners like Moonlight (2014) and Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022), A24 has the range to capture vast audiences and continues to stun Hollywood with their eccentric-but-thoughtful releases. There has been much criticism directed towards the film industry for the last few years. Since comic adaptations’ takeover, it seems as though a movie must have attractive superheroes, snappy oneliners, and millions of dollars funneled into an inflated CGI budget in order to turn a profit. Large studios such as Paramount, Sony, and 20th Century Studios tend to trade innovation for cliches and creativity for box-office success- but A24 has proven that studios do not have to make as many trades in order to gain commercial acclaim. The studio’s films have enjoyed both critical and commercial success over its lifetime- especially in the last ten years.

A24 lacks the tendency to shy away from indie projects- often acquiring movies with smaller budgets or a large corporate backing. However, the world of independent film-making often crashes and burns when it comes to start-up costs and turning a profit. Indie studios often rely on an eventual acquisition by a large corporation to avoid bankruptcy- if not, they risk joining many of their peers in total dissolution. But where most of these studios go wrong is in their reliance on traditional advertising methods. They opt to spend millions on television advertisements, billboards, and radio shout-outs- but A24 has taken a different route. Modernizing their marketing approach has made a world of a difference in the studio’s commercial growth, and draws a great deal of attention from younger audiences.

The studio made ready use of the explosion of social media platforms such as Instagram, Twitter, and even Tinder- yes, Tinder- to promote their films. To promote Ex Machina (2014), A24 created a Tinder account for the robot Ava to interact with the film’s fans. The film went on to become the studio’s first picture to win a coveted Academy Award. The marketing team for The Witch (2015) jumped on the rising wave

of Twitter, making an account for the goat Black Phillip- now holding quite a bit of internet clout. The studio wasted no time taking advantage of the new technology of social media and the internet epidemic and, in fact, found tremendous success. Both films I mentioned are considered cult classics, and the leads Oscar Isaac and Anya Taylor Joy have become household names. But the studio can’t exactly be called pretentious, either- its acquisitions span many genres. Spring Breakers (2012) went viral for its intentionally trashy promotion and its essence as a raunchy comedy. It is true that A24 was blessed with the gift of being born in the early 2010s- but it took advantage of that gift to its fullest potential.

RECENT SUCCESSES

A24 really hit its stride in the latter half of the 2010s- releasing critically acclaimed films like Lady Bird (2017), Moonlight (2016), Hereditary (2018), and Uncut Gems (2019). All four films represent a different genre, excelling at their own niche and leaving profound impacts on the industry. Moonlight, directed by Barry Jenkins, has been one of the few oscar-winning films centering Black boyhood; it is a coming-of-age story

71 | The Rise of A24

about sexuality, masculinity, love, and friendship. It made history by winning Best Picture at the 2017 Oscars. Hereditary, directed by the eccentric Ari Aster, cemented itself in the horror hall of fame- exploring themes of generational trauma, grief, and childhood through a truly harrowing horror flick. Since Hereditary, A24 has released several horror films that have left fans of the genre clamoring for more. Midsommar, X, Pearl, and Talk to Me have all gained substantial fame by subverting the genre, combining traditional jumpscares and shots with each director’s own twist. Talk to Me (2022) is one of their most recent acquisitions, directed by Danny and Michael Phillipou- also known as RackaRacka on their YouTube channel. The brothers were most known for their online personalities and comedic vlogs, and went on to make A24’s highest grossing horror film and the second highest grossing horror film overall. The studio has a keen eye for talent with the uncanny ability to eke out the diamond in the rough- their doing so paying off in the millions. Diversity in Hollywood has always been a hot button issue, and there is still a long way to go until we achieve true representation in the media- but the recent success of films starring Asian actors deserves a shoutout. Lee Isaac Chung’s Minari (2020) centers on a Korean-American family, and enjoyed 6 Oscar nominations, including one for Best Picture. Celine Song’s Past Lives (2023) has been nominated for Best Picture and Best Original Screenplay (but the brilliant performance of lead Greta Lee and Song’s directing went, disappointingly, unnoticed). And we must not forget the historic success of the Kwans’ Everything Everywhere All At Once- the film left a substantial impact on both audiences and critics alike, and lead actress Michelle Yeoh’s performance in the film won Best Lead Actress- Yeoh becoming the second woman of color ever to win the oscar. Notwithstanding its 2022 release, it is already considered by many to be a classic. A24 has done a stand-out job on promoting and telling stories that are rarely told in Hollywood, and its devotion to diverse content pays off in a big way. The art of cinema is appreciated by many for its ability to stun, scare, impress; to draw out tears and laughter alike; to whisk its audience into another world entirely. A24 as a studio has distributed films that have brought a new magic into filmmaking and thus drawn in an entirely new audience into the world of movies.

FUTURE HERITAGE FUTURE HERITAGE

FASHION IN FLUX

By Alexa Citra

As we hurtle towards the future, the fashion world finds itself in flux across IRL and URL platforms. Amidst the whirlwind of *something*-cores and micro-trends, modularity and alternative materials, and data-driven and digital designs, we ask ourselves: how do we reconcile traditional aesthetics with modern sensibilities and stylistic subcultures? Can organic materials and futuristic fashion coexist? Is there a way to preserve tradition through cuttingedge innovation ethically and without altering its cultural value? Where exactly is fashion headed? No longer contained within the 20-year trend cycle and the corporeal realm, fashion is headed everywhere all at once.

Culture is not static; it evolves and transforms through cycles of creation, deconstruction, and reconstruction, reflecting the human experience of discovering, losing, and rediscovering oneself in which fashion stands as a dynamic narrator. It is at the intersection of tradition and innovation that the industry interprets cultural heritage through a modern lens. Designers therefore take on the roles of creators and cultural translators, preserving and transforming identities in the face of global challenges like climate change.

“It evolves and transforms through cycles of creation, deconstruction, and reconstruction, reflecting the human experience of discovering, losing, and rediscovering oneself in which fashion stands as a dynamic narrator”

Aside from transformable pieces, there has also been a transformation in the contextualization of traditional clothing. In an era of rapid globalization, fashion serves as a crucial conduit for preserving cultural identity. Many designers incorporate traditional motifs and fabrics or take inspiration from traditional styles and adapt them to contemporary fashion as they continue to face an uncertain future. This reinterpretation of tradition allows fashion to act as a medium for transmitting cultural identity. This is particularly important in groups where traditional arts are at risk of being lost due to modernization. The preservation and revitalization of cultural elements are a testament to the narrative of human resilience.

Instead of the Jetsons-esque vision of shiny metallics and robotic contraptions, we are seeing a paradigm shift towards modular fashion. This involves alterable or detachable clothing items that suit ever-shifting needs and tastes as a response to a growing demand for sustainability. In particular, Peter Do’s Fall/Winter 2023 collection echoes the modular ethos – a testament to his unwavering commitment to sustainability and universality – featuring 20-or-so pieces designed to be styled in over 351 ways. Other notable examples of modularity in a high fashion context include the transformable cocktail dresses in Hussein Chalayan’s 2013 collection and the opening “modern crinoline” pieces at Coperni’s viral Spring/Summer 2023 show at Paris Fashion Week. In order for modular fashion to invade the mainstream, however, sustainability cannot be the sole motivator to convince consumers to buy a transformable garment as it must still conform to the wearer’s expectations of aesthetics. Despite fears of buyers finding modular designs gimmicky and costlier in production, modular and convertible fashion remains an area rife with opportunity. In the coming years, niche designers and household names alike will undoubtedly take up the mantle and turn it into a transformable masterpiece.

A fashion designer who is renowned for her commitment to cultural preservation would be Guo Pei, whose designs incorporate traditional Chinese techniques and materials, including embroidery and silk, and draw inspiration from Chinese history and art. Growing up during China’s Cultural Revolution, a movement in which splendor was prohibited and cultural expression was severely restricted, Guo Pei personally witnessed the loss of traditional aesthetics and cultural practices. In her 2022 “Couture Fantasy” exhibition, Guo recalls her grandmother’s stories of the embroidered silks she wore as a young woman during the Qing Dynasty, which she was forced to “disown and destroy” – leading to a loss of identity and context –by Mao’s regime. This backdrop instilled in her a profound desire to retrieve and preserve her cultural heritage through her work, embedding it in the global consciousness. “During the Cultural Revolution, they destroyed their own culture,” says Guo, “but my generation found it again.” By combining traditional elements with contemporary design, the works of designers like Guo Pei serve as striking examples of how fashion can be a means of celebrating and preserving cultural elements and traditional crafts in the ongoing global dialogue.

One cannot talk about preserving heritage in fashion without also discussing the resources required for it.

In a 2009 interview with Sandy Black, Hussein Chalayan highlighted the value of creative sustainability: “You can think of fabrics in a more creative way. Working with electrical wire is as important as working with seaweed. Or working with the two together. The choice that you make over natural substance could lead to a very innovative result.” On top of emphasizing the pressing need to adopt alternative materials and ethical practices, Chalayan also stressed the importance of radical collaboration between fashion designers and experts in other fields and connections between different realities: “We need to be re-educated to understand those connections and then maybe, we would be able to rebuild what we have around us.”

These connections are especially vital in the future of alternative materials in fashion. There is growing pressure for the fashion industry to make tangible progress as sustainable fashion is said to be stuck in a “pilot phase” without the major structural shifts necessary for real, lasting change. What will intent amount to without appropriate action? When will fashion stop parading its potential and start realizing its promises, no matter how uncomfortable the resulting change? Matt Scullin, CEO of Hermès-backed biomaterials startup Mycoworks, says quality and sustainability must come hand-in-hand for these alternative materials to be adopted and actually contribute to decarbonization. In response to an accelerating climate emergency, the fashion industry has to replace conventional, resource intensive materials like animal leather and virgin synthetics with material innovations. Without any meaningful commitment to the complete development and adoption of alternative materials, these material innovations will only add to the sartorial repertoire without minimizing the industry’s environmental impact.

Brands are businesses, which means they have to consider consumers’ preference into their decisions to survive and stay relevant. According to Bain & Company’s 2020 Luxury Study, Gen Z becoming brands’ target demographic for their purchasing power and influence makes up 40% of global consumers and will account for 40% of luxury purchases by 2035. 75% of Gen Z respondents said the #1 action they wanted to see from brands was that they ensure employee and consumer safety, with 73% wanting brands to protect their employees financially. This shift in priority within consumer purchasing behavior will impact sustainability efforts across fashion. As the wave of abundant fast fashion competes in tandem with thrifting and new vintage, living and dressing in the 2020s feels like having a disposable revolving-door wardrobe that has become a trend in and of itself.

Looking ahead, legacy brands, emerging designers, and consumer behavior will collectively weave the tapestry of tomorrow’s fashion landscape. As cultivators of culture, brands and consumers alike are writing a narrative that bridges yesteryears with tomorrow. Thus, as we navigate the complexities of the modern world, what is the responsibility of fashion designers in creating ethical, socially conscious fashion that reflects the needs and values of our time? What antiquated practices must we leave behind? What essential elements of our heritage must we preserve in the