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TRINITYNEWSTWO 3

SPECIAL FEATURE: Anna Stein spends two days with Oscar

winner Al Pacino and brings us an intimate portrait of a legend

Casino Royale He’s back, he’s blonde, but he’s not bland

“God wants you to have life and he wants you to have sex”

Conor O’ Kelly p16

Fern McCauley p22

Bellx1

The former Trinity boys tell Gearoid O’ Rouke why they are just waiting to be asked to play Trinity Ball

Dance DJ Erol Alken talks trash with Trinity News Two reporter Fergal Madigan, p3

ISSUE

Gearoid O’ Rourke

Bellx1

Talk to Gearoid O’ Rourke about everything from hip-hop to their upcoming Point Depot gig, p10

Al Pacino

In this issue...

When the first sketches for the design of Trinity News Two started to take shape last May the front cover always featured one band. It is fantastic to have that band on the cover of this issue. Bellx1 are in my opinion one of the greatest Irish bands and deserve as much praise as we can throw at them. And let us not forget they are Trinity boys after all. Also Ents Officer Barry Murphy take note, they are ready to play Trinity Ball - the campaign for Bellx1 for the Ball starts here.

Al Pacino mania truly hit Campus last week as anyone present in the Arts Block or Hamilton buildings when the aformentioned did his walk about will testify to. In this issue we have the real exclusive on Pacino’s two days in Trinity. News Editor Anna Stein was his PA: his eyes, ears and coat stand. Also much to her chagrin she was described as his “escort” on national radio. Read the truth in our special feature.

Humanzi are well on their way to being superstars - they have the attitude already. Our intrepid reporter spent two weeks trying to get hold of these guys as they recorded here in Dublin. We hope their superstar tempraments are justified soon.

Finally, on a personal note, I had the great pleasure to go see the Rathgar and Rathmines Musical Society’s production of Gilbert and Sullivans’ Gondoliers. The production was fantastic and shows exactlly what a dedicated amateur group can achieve. The bar has been set for DU Players’ next production.

WHAT’SINSIDE

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Editor’s Notes

Anna Stein spends two days with the Oscar-winning star of Scarface and The Godfather, p12

Superstar DJ, here we go!

Brendan McGuirk rocks out to the man who declared he would destroy rock and roll, p4

Humanzi: Tell Will Daunt they are really just some misunderstood Catholic boys, p7

Director competition Win a pair of tickets to see rising Irish stars Director at the Ambassador on December 9th with support from Royseven and Emily.

The band who have just been nominated for two Meteor Ireland Music awards embark on an Irish Tour from December 1st.

Answer the following question to be in with a chance to win: What two bands will be suppotying Director at their Ambassador show?

Please send your entries to: competition@trinitynews.ie With thanks to MCD Promotions

Words: Fergal Madigan

INTERVIEW

Talking trash

Erol Alkan played his sixth set in Dublin in 18 months when he played Mash Up on the 29th of October last. The atmosphere was like that of a homecoming. Many had been to the first show he played all the way back in February 2005.

Around then it was still fashionable among the quacks and hacks that make up the cultural shambles that is the music industry to speak of the “death” of dance music. Eulogy after eulogy crept in from misty – eyed, burned out ravers bemoaning the end of the “good old days” when they would head up to the Wicklow Mountains to listen to, what sounds to modern ears like a car alarm being put through a food blender.

Contrary to all predictions, dance music is currently thriving in Dublin with a large number of nights thriving such as Backlash, Mash Up, Domino and Hospital. Erol Alkan has been uniquely placed to witness this revival of interest in electronic music. He has played in the biggest clubs in Britain and all around the world and holds a residency with Bugged Out, one of the largest and oldest stables in British dance music.

Alkan also runs his own night, Trash, which he cultivated from beginnings not unlike the plethora of independent nights in Dublin.

Alkan comments: “Trash began ten years ago as a necessity and remains a necessity. It was simply something I had to do.”

That is the same advice he would give to promoters trying to emulate his achievements. “You just have to feel the need to invest time growing into it. Do not try and make it reflective of some sort of wider “scene,” then you’d be doing it for someone else. It needs to be something that you do for yourself, and if people happen to like it well great.”

That has remained Alkan’s attitude when branching out into to new directions. “I got involved with Bugged Out fielding for David Holmes one night when he couldn’t make it. I put on a few records and tried to buzz off the crowd and they loved it.”

This attitude remains even on the highest possible stage. “This summer I played on the main stage at Benicassim right after the Scissors Sisters. They’re show is like seeing West Side story. It just blew everyone away.

I was thinking to myself “no way am I gonna be able to top that.”

Thought everyone would leave straight away, but they didn’t. So after their set this lanky Turkish bloke walks out in front of 20,000 people almost none of whom have any idea who I am. There was a really good vibe in the air and I played without any fixed plan in my head and everyone stayed and danced. I was very flattered to have been part of that moment,

made me very proud. The thing is…I like to be myself everywhere I go, I don’t try and push any sort of agenda anywhere, and it’s great when people enjoy it.”

His future direction will also be decided on his own terms.

“I’ve got no fixed plans. I’m enjoying dj-ing and working in the studio. I like to wait for the right remix to come along. I don’t like to succumb to offers too easily; it has to be right otherwise it’s just not worth it.”

In this way, Alkan is a new style of DJ who doesn’t see his role narrowly in terms of standing in front of a crowd and collecting the paycheck at the end of the night. That cynical attitude helped to usher in the “death” of dance music in the first place.

“Superstar” DJs would go from club to club in their Hawaiian shirts of football jerseys playing the same set night after night with their hands in the air stagnating what made this music so vital and important in the first place. Not so Erol Alkan.

“I believe that promoting new music is extremely important because in means you can bring new music to people. Listening to new music was always a joy for me. Even from an early age messing around with turntables at home. It’s also important to raise the profile of independent artists.

They need exposure to keep the whole process going.”

Fundamentally Alkan is a music lover who has made a career from his fanaticism. “One of the things I was most proud of was a remix I did for Hot Chip. It is a fantastic song (Boy From School) and I was happy to add something to it. That way it becomes a fusion that would surpass either of us. It becomes more about music and less about ego.

I’m heavily involved with my online network for the same reason. It’s not really about fans and a performer but more about creating an open forum – a network where music and ideas can be exchanged and where we can all get together. I can get what I’m doing across but I’ve discovered what other people are doing also.

It’s a massive, massive part of what I do.”

In Erol Alkan we can see how, rather than dying, dance music has found new directions. It has branched out into independent club scenes, it has found avenue of expression online and perhaps more than anything else, it has become assimilated into the mainstream music culture with bands like the Scissors Sisters and Hot Chip, and the remix work of people like Alkan, who draw from musical diversity rather than strict pigeon holing.

“As long as dance music is in the hands of young people who are passionate it about it and make it happen it will be fine. No question about that.” And so say all of us.

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4 Mylo:

Superstar

DJ AUDIOFILES

Words: Brendan McGuirk

---Scottish DJ Mylo is all but living up to his ambition to destroy rock and roll if his recent Dublin date is anything to go by. On Saturday 11th of November Mylo (a.k.a.

Miles MacInnes) gave a groundbreaking performance as part of the winter Bud Rising festival. The Temple Bar Music Centre played host to Mylo's epic DJ set, with support from Simian, Mobile Disco and Nightmoves.

The DJ, who hails from the Isle of Skye, gained much notoriety with the 2004 release of his debut album Destroy Rock & Roll. Re-released in 2005 with the remix Dr Pressure, the album drew comparisons with Air and Röyksopp. Mylo's sound is a blend of French house and dance with an ambient easy listening vibe to it: Destroy Rock & Roll is certainly a soul satisfying record.

Since Mylo's explosion onto the dance scene, he has been proclaimed the 'Saviour of Dance' and his DJ set at the Bud Rising festival was certainly a testimony to Mylo's rightful accession to that title.

The gig kicked off at 11pm and was witnessed by a good two hundred lucky Mylo enthusiasts, with many disappointed faces turned away after queuing to buy the last of the much sought after tickets.

Happily, I instead wandered around by the bar for a while as Nightmoves entertained the rest of the punters. At the main stage, things were really kicking off with Simian's DJ support set which took fans clear to 1 a.m. Time flew by as Simian aptly laid the rhythmic ground work for Mylo, with memorable mixes and a rendition of his own tune, 'We are

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Mylo's sound is a blend of French house and dance with an ambient easy listening vibe to it; Destroy Rock & Roll is certainly a soul satisfying record

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your friends' to the delight of the enthused audience. Simian also made good use of some Chemical Brothers' samples in what seemed like crescendo after crescendo of rhythmic gems.

At about 1 a.m. Mylo took control of the mixing decks to begin asserting his supremacy as a DJ. His DJ set differed from that of his live performances in that it didn't contain much material from Destroy Rock and Roll but instead a harder mix of house and electronica. As I looked around during his set, all I could see was a sea of bodies swaying and energetically contorting to the beats that Mylo dropped. His mixes pumped out eurhythmic hardcore beats with pulsing synths and samples looping over, climaxing in an all-out frenzy

which saw dance fanatics struggling to keep up as they sweated profusely.

The gig was orgasmic at the best of times as everyone pushed their bodies to keep up with the beats of Mylo's debaucherous mixes, leaving muscles aching and limp but determined to keep up. A mix of Holiday by Madonna also featured in the set, Mylo's version fitting seamlessly into the mélange of beats that followed and preceded it, giving a funky edge to his predominately harder mixes.

Drop the Pressure was greeted with an outburst of screams from the adoring fans who immediately took things to a higher levels with hands stretched skyward. This is the song that was mashed up with Miami Sound Machine's Dr Beat to create the remix Dr Pressure propelling Mylo to even further critical acclaim and it was certainly a hit this

night. Drop the Pressure was directly followed by a digital explosion of heavy bass samples and block beat rhythms. The night progressed into remixes of the Chemical Brothers’ track Believe in such a manner that would make Aphex Twin proud.

In My Arms, the massively successful single from Mylo's debut album, was played as his set neared an end, receiving an immediate welcome from the dancing adrenaline junkies. He capped off his set with Hey Boy Hey Girl by the Chemical Brothers, one last classic for the dancers to go all out to. At the end of the gig I was left with the feeling that Mylo has a lot more to offer us in the future as a modern musician and performer.

Whether you agree with the title of Savoiur of Dance or not, he's raising the bar for other djs, and making dance music accessible to everyone.

Love The Beatles

We Used To Vacation EP Cold War Kids

Currently riding the crest of last year’s polished “Illinois” and its tongue-incheek follow-up “The Avalanche”, Sufjan Stevens could be forgiven for taking a well-deserved breather.

Instead, he has returned with his second project of 2006: a five-EP compilation of Yuletide tunes entitled “Songs for Christmas”.

The collection includes Sufjan’s entire Christmas-inspired canon, composed annually during the holidays from as far back as 2001.

Originally intended as personalized gifts for family and friends, these songs are a quirky mix of religious fervor and emotional resonance in the vein of 2004’s Bible-heavy “Seven Swans”.

About half of the songs are novel rearrangements of well-worn Christmas carols while the other half are originals. New songs such as “That Was the Worst Christmas Ever!” and “Come On! Let’s Boogey to the Elf Dance!” recall the best bits from “Illinois” and infuse you with a hazy Christmas Eve glow of happiness.

“It just wouldn’t be Christmas without all the festive frills and flourishes,” writes Sufjan and this album proves to be a rare Christmas treat indeed.

Paul Earlie

The Beatles have released a new posthumous album entitled Love (name taken from the current Beatles show in Las Vegas), a reworked album compiled by the band's original producer and his son, who clearly know the Beatles’ work. Unsurprisingly the album is reworked to give an amorous ambiance. It contains such hits as 'Strawberry Fields Forever', 'Hey Jude' and 'All you Need is Love'. The album is packed with a total of 26 tracks, but every track has pieces from other songs- for instance, the Tomorrow Never Knows drums on top of With or Without You, and it is overall reworked very well, to give a warm, unfaltering experience.

The album is unashamedly released now to take advantage of the hordes of Christmas shoppers unsure of what to get those (perhaps older) friends. However, I heartily recommend it as a gift for anyone, or for your own listening - you don't need to be a Beatles fanatic. Love puts a new spin to many legendary classics that inspired much of the music we have today.

Jason McCandless

Jarvis Jarvic Cocker

d’s n ba re r e u Yo mo h de

Would you like to get your demo reviewed?

Are you in a band?

Are you trying to get your first break?

Trinity News Two is currently looking for band demos to review in our “New band special” next issue.

So if you would like to feature in this special please send two copies of your demo on CD to: New band special, Trinity News Two, House 6, Trinity College, Dublin 2.

Please include two copies of the demo and a short written informative passage about your band.

All entries by December 9th

With the exception of a show-stealingcameo appearance in the last Harry Potter film, Jarvis Cocker has been keeping a pretty low profile since Pulp disbanded in 2002. Having moved to Paris with a new wife and child, it seems the 43-year old has settled down, and this is certainly reflected on his solo debut. Whilst Jarvis still shows he has a way with words, the album is for the most part quite low key, with few of the tracks as exhilarating as his past glories.

Stand-out track Fat Children (neatly tackling both the big issues of hooliganism and growing national obesity) could easily fill indie dancefloors; it’s Jarvis’ First of the Gang to Die. But just like Morrissey’s recent releases, Jarvis solo effort can’t honestly hold a candle to Pulp hits like Common People, Party Hard or Misshapes. His sardonic take on sex and the Sheffield working class, poverty and pornography is still present, but Jarvis has grown up. More’s the pity.

Steve Clarke

AUDIOFILES

In Review:

Here we go again. Another indie band with a vocalist whose droning monotone sounds like he's been diagnosed with acute depression. Apart from the vocals, which are, at best, predictable, Cold War Kids are actually rather good. Their sound has been influenced by a wide range of music- Brit-pop, post-punk, country and new wave, but especially by the first Strokes album.

There were some good riffs, a creative use of percussion, especially on the first two tracks and better lyrics than one might expect. The only real problem with this band is that they just don't do anything new. The title track "We Used To Vacation" is very similar to something Maroon 5 would release. Cold War Kids do all the right things, but it's unlikely that this new band will rise to the top of a market already saturated with indie rock four-piece bands. Not that original, but not that bad either.

Catriona Gray

A Renewed Interest in Happiness The Frank and Walters

In a year of stellar pop comebacks (Take That, All Saints, 5ive), it is now the turn of one of Ireland's most recognisable bands to make their return to the spotlight. Best-known for 90s hits like After All, This is not a Song and Fashion Crisis Hits New York, The Frank and Walters are back with their first studio album in six years; A Renewed Interest in Happiness.

Anyone familiar with recent single Miles and Miles, or indeed any of the band's previous work, will know what to expect. One could be forgiven for thinking that, in six years away from the studio, the Frank and Walters might have revolutionised their sound. But instead they have returned with more of the same.

That is not to say that this is a bad or boring album, it's just nothing new. It is full of the band's distinctive laid back guitars, catchy melodies and simple but insightful lyrics. The verdict is simple: if you like the Frank and Walters buy this album. If you don't like them, well, don't.

Jen Flewett

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6

Play some F***in’ Electro Words: Will Daunt

AUDIOFILES

When asked recently to write an article on Dublin’s dance scene my heart sank. What could I write about the scene that a year ago was so finely tuned? Backlash in Wax on a Thursday, followed by Hospital in Traffic on a Friday, recovery if you needed it on a Saturday night, or if you could push it to POGO you would. All that with the occasional big-name overseas DJ thrown in was the apt diet for your average raver.

After coming home from a summer away I found things had

changed beyond my wildest dreams. What could I possibly write about a dance scene, that to me hardly existed anymore?

But how wrong was I? After some careful research and a few long weekends out, I realized that the Dublin scene hadn’t died; it was merely evolving into perhaps something bigger and better than we have ever witnessed before.

The music scene in Dublin has been developing like crazy for the past few years. When I

Rave Review Words: Will Daunt

danced my way into it during Backlash’s heyday it was simply seeing one of several peaks. The fact is with big events such as Electric Picnic and Garden Party picking up momentum how could us masses not embrace electronic music.

While Backlash’s move to lesser known Rogue may have been particularly fatal for the electroclash boppers, Thursdays now see Electric City’s new residence in Wax provide apt dancing for our techno starved hearts.

Hospital, who experienced a major slump in its latter days at Traffic, has now had new life breathed into it with crowds out the door every Friday at Wax. Saturdays, which used to be the night off for Dublin ravers, now sees Al Keegan’s Acii Disco pumping Electro/House, Acid and Tough House at The Hub; Space Camp at Rogue, who recently played host to ghettotech mastermind Claude von Stroke and our very own Dave Salacious’s Family at Wax. And what about criticism that this craze is all about the drugs? I asked Derek ‘D-Rock’ Tighe, DJ and head of Danger Promotions: “I don't think it's fair to say that it's all about drugs, drink is as much part of any other thriving music scene as drugs are the dance scene, it's just that drugs are illegal and that makes it a bigger deal. It comes down to the person as well. Are they more

into the music or the buzz? For me it's the music.”

The tiny size of Dublin in comparison to other electronic music hubs, London or Berlin, means that the atmosphere created is incredible. In comparison to the air-hanger size Fabric in London, seeing your favourite DJ in a Dublin club creates unbelievable intimacy. This intimacy has led to the creation of a real (I hate to say it) ‘scene’, where bona fide “we’re in this together” compatriotism has been forged.

It must be asked what does Erol Alkan’s fairly pathetic performance at the Music Centre say about the Dublin dance scene? Does playing Daft Punk’s Aerodynamic and One More Time in a row mean he was dumbing down for the Irish?

D-Rock claimed not to be a massive Erol fan to begin with, “but some of my colleagues are and they were very disappointed with his antics in the music centre that night, standing up on the decks playing air guitar and the like. I think it's tough for DJs who tour the world to have their finger on the pulse about what to play in different cities, sometimes DJ’s get it wrong. In saying that the music centre was packed for Erol's gig and he kept most of the kids dancing.”

And the way things are going it looks like it will take a lot to keep these Dublin kids from dancing.

New Rave! Who thought this was a good idea? Does anybody actually remember the old-rave scene?

And how arse-clechingly awful it was, dependent entirely on the conviction that wearing tie-dyed, baggy tramps' cast-offs, liking badgers and spending the weekend in a muddy field somewhere off the M54 telling everyone who would stand near you that you loved them was the new expression of anti-consumerist youth rebellion.

Rave died a predictably embarassing death many moons ago, and yet some middle-managing, NME sponsored music industry cretin has realised that everyone who likes the Arctic Monkeys is too young to remember rave and thus might be tricked into thinking it's actually cool. The genius is that these young impressionable pups are somehow tricked into thinking that they like dance music, and therefore that they have broadened their musical horizons, when in fact all that they are listening to is a mediocre indie band whose record label have insisted that they shake some glowsticks around and go onstage a little, err, wide-eyed.

And so to the Klaxons, who launch immediately into their set, and never slow up. The songs are short, sharp and vital, all crowding in at around the three minute mark, distinguished by heavy bass, discordant guitar and

keyboard that, live at least, seems rather superfluous. They maintain momentum throughout the thirtyfive minute set (working out at about 60 cents a minute by the way) by leaving little or no gaps.

And some of the songs are good, particularly 'Atlantis to Interzone', the most genuinely dance-friendly single, and the dark, menacing 'Magick'. Yet here is absolutely no trace of anything remotely recognisable as 'rave', except for the inevitable Camden Street indie-kid with her three glowsticks.

With bass, drums, guitar and keyboard the band looks and sounds like a punkier, less polished version of the innumerable "indie bands to make us dance" that have risen and sunk in the blink of an eye over the last four years.

The Klaxons haven't really been helped by the enormous hype thrust upon them, and the patently unrealistic hopes and expectations pinned on a band who only seem to have 11 songs, some of which are, in this live setting, near indistinguishable from one another. So this gig serves as a reminder to remain suspicious of journalistic manipulation.

The Klaxons, live, are a decent band fast, engaging, energetic and with a couple of really good songs up their sleeves. But if you're looking for the band that's going to change the landscape of popular music, look elsewhere.

Words: Will Daunt

Sean Mulrooney sounds tired. It’s 5pm on a very wet Wednesday, and Humanzi are finished with rehearsal for the day. “We started at about ten,” Sean mumbles, “so by about five everyone’s pretty knackered.” Apparently, they’ve been doing this most days since returning from New York last week, where they played at CMJ festival as part of their bid to land a deal in the US. So why all the rehearsal now? “We’re just writing more. Most of the songs on the album (titled Tremors) were finished over a year ago, so we’re all pretty bored of them.” When I ask if they are in a rush to release

a second album (their debut was only put out five months ago) Sean sounds mildly puzzled: “Not exactly ‘in a rush’, no. We just enjoy writing songs.”

Now, such a work ethic is not something usually equated with Humanzi. In the new crop of bands emerging from Dublin, they have been earmarked by the press as the bad boys, having more of a penchant for groupies and free drink than any real musical ambition. Accusations of style over substance were stoked by the fact that their appearance on the front of NME Ireland was captioned “the band who brought

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We aren’t thinking about pissing anyone off.We’re just a bunch of good Catholic Dublin boys

AUDIOFILES

Humanzi spirit

Dublin to a standstill”, a claim seriously undermined by rumours that their debut has only sold 500 copies.

Indeed, their music is confrontational, and Tremors is peppered with a disillusioned shout of “This is the shit so get used to it.” Put this alongside the fact that their Myspace page contains a blog titled ‘Diary of a Humanzi roadie’ (complete with the tale of a drink fuelled search for a small block of hash), and it’s easy to see why cynics have dismissed them as a bunch of angry young men with nothing to shout about but shouting.

But talking to Mulrooney makes this diagnosis a difficult one to stand by. He is quiet, friendly and surprisingly eloquent.

The moment I suggest that their music seems somehow reactionary he cuts me short, “We aren’t reacting against anything, or thinking about pissing anyone off. We’re just a bunch of good Catholic Dublin boys.”

Critics seem to have forgotten that the minute they signed to Fiction Records (a deal brokered by The Thrills manager Alan Cullivan) they set up their own label, SFR, and put out singles for friends The Things and Channel One; not the action of a band whose only concern is their own rise to fame. When asked about his singing he is touchingly reserved, explaining that until the formation of Humanzi he had no confidence in his voice and only played guitar. Most surprisingly, he tells me that rockabilly was a formative influence on his voice, and how on the album they used “the same slapback effect on the

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vocals as all the old rockabilly stars.”

The tragedy of such a comparison is that rockabilly rooted itself firmly in song-writing, a skill at which Humanzi are somewhat inconsistent. Songs such as ‘Long Time Coming’ and ‘Out on a Wire’ showed no small amount of pop sensibility, but when I ask Mulrooney what they’re doing with the new material he replies: “We’ve stopped writing pop songs. There’s less keyboards, less melody, and more balls out guitar.

I’m fucking excited about it.” Oh dear, I hear you all sigh.

7

8 A dummy’s guide to theatre in Trinity Words: David Lydon

BACKSTAGE

Players

Dublin University Players are, if you haven’t already noticed, the bunch of theatrciallyminded individuals taking up residency in the New Players Theatre, just behind New Square. Players is one of the biggest societies in college, and subsequently receives a hefty amount of funding, which means that plenty of opportunities are on offer. Every year they put on an astonishing fifty productions of various magnitude, at lunchtime and evening performance times. Shows include the recent Fresher’s Co-op, the 24-hour musical, and New Writers’ Week. The inclusive nature of the society means that anybody, (yes, even you) could direct a show in Players should they wish to, providing it is approved by the committee. (Basically, no pyrotechnics or live animals and you’re grand). As a result, there is scope to develop talent in all fields of dramatic activity, with opportunities for actors, writers, directors, costumes, props, stage managers, technicians, producers and even those weirdoes who love being on committees. The Players’ notice boards, located outside the theatre and in Front Arch, are regularly updated and full of information on proceedings within the society.

Players puts on several large-scale events such as Fresher's and Players Balls, cementing its well-earned reputation as one of the best social scenes in college. So whether you’re the nest Laurence Olivier, or the real Laurence Olivier, Players will always extend a warm welcome your way.

As for recent alumni, Pauline McLynn (of Mrs. Doyle fame) was a Players regular during her time at Trinity.

Filmmakers

The untamed beast that is Drama could never be contained to just a stage, and it is only a matter of time before any director, actor or writer considers the world of film as a vehicle to further their creative genius. DU Filmmakers offers students the chance to create and develop their skills in front of or behind the camera. With short films being made around the calendar, look out for audition posters on (amongst other places) the Players notice boards, or submit your own ideas or scripts to see your name roll in the credits.

Ok, so this is just a shameless plug for the paper. Can you blame me? If you are interested in writing Theatre-based articles, features or reviews, don’t hesitate to contact the Theatre section at theatre@trinitynews.ie. With regular contacts established with the Gaiety and The Abbey, free tickets are often available for shows and any contribution is welcome. Essentially, the page offers a chance to vent opinions on anything theatrical, be it a favourite play, or a recent show. Any budding critics out in college could do far worse than flex their opinionated muscles in these esteemed pages. And you get to see your name in print - good for the old C.V.

Backstage in Trinity News Two

So, you’ve been in college for six weeks, a year maybe even longer. And you’re thinking to yourself “What’s the story with Theatre in Trinity?”

Well, here is the answer, in the shape of the definitive guide to everything theatrical in college.

Named after the previously mentioned alumni, and located a stone’s throw from Players (literally - I’ve tried), the Samuel Beckett Centre showcases various productions ranging from Fringe Festival shows to Director’s options for Drama Students within college. An excellent venue for all forms of theatre, it is run by Francis Thackaberry, who is keen to market the centre towards students, leading to good value prices for the excellent standard of performance. It is a regular host to international productions and often showcases the most cutting-edge in Contemporary theatre as well as other events, such as the International Dance Festival, making it one of the most eclectic theatres in Dublin.

The Samuel Beckett Theatre

A recent event within college theatrical life has been the arrival of radio plays to Trinity FM, the internal radio station. The first ever performance was of Peter Nichol’s ‘A Day in The Death of Joe Egg’ in week 5 of term and there will be another in week 8. An exciting new opportunity for student thespians, as it will undoubtedly provide valuable experience in an area of drama often overlooked. Any interested parties should keep an eye out for posters advertising the air time of the play, and email the theatre section of Trinity News for further details.

Radio Plays (Trinity FM)

No doubt you would have heard of Trinity’s rich history of past students long before the CAO form was even completed. A surprisingly large proportion of Ireland’s literary figures attended our proud institution, several of them dramatists. Oscar Wilde, John Millington Synge and Samuel Beckett, three of the greatest dramatists ever to grace a stage, were educated here, and in all likelihood graced the student theatre scene on more than one occasion during their undergraduate years. Such credentials are few and far between in most Universities, so feel privileged to walk across the very cobblestones that theatrical greats once graced with their boots.

The Alumi

Words: David Lydon The Abbey Theatre has recently launched the Access All Abbey scheme, encouraging students to attend more productions in the National Theatre. The incentive involves a stand-by card system, where any student can purchase tickets fifteen minutes before a show starts for the amazing rate of just €10. All students are invited to join, and the completely free programme is not keen on turning people away, so sign up soon.

For details contact Jeanette Keane (jeanettekeane@abbeytheatre.ie) or pop into the Stage Door area of the Abbey for an application form.

The Abbey was founded in 1904 to provide a vehicle for Irish Dramatists. It was the first state-subsidised theatre in the English-speaking world: from 1925 onwards it received an annual subsidy from the Irish Free State. In its early years, the theatre was closely associated with the writers of the Celtic revival, many of whom were involved in its foundation and most of whom had plays staged there. The Abbey served as a nursery for many of the leading Irish playwrights and actors of the twentieth century. In recent times, the Abbey has opened its doors to International productions, confirming its reputation as an essential part of the Dublin theatre scene. It is a mere five minute walk from Trinity College Dublin, who can count many Abbey stars amongst its Alumni.

This Autumn the Abbey is showing ‘Doubt’ by John Patrick Shanley, which won the 2005 Pulitzer Prize and the Tony Award for Best Play, 2005. Reviews have been very enthusiastic, with the production praised for its integrity and subtlety. The 2006 season will conclude with ‘The School For Scandal’, directed by Jimmy Fay, that combines fashion, fun, glamour and gossip to provide a hilarious send-up of social expectations, and commences on December 6th.

New to the Abbey’s season of ‘The Abbey Talks’ lectures is ‘Meet the Makers’, an opportunity for the general public to get a taste of what goes on behind the scenes and for young thespians to establish connections within the Abbey itself. A must for any theatre fanatic.

Gondoliers sails R&R to further success Words: Joey Facer

The Rathmines and Rathgar musical society staged its annual Gilbert and Sullivan production in the National Concert Hall from Monday 20th to Sunday 26th November.

The society is renowned for presenting Dublin with shows of West End quality, with first class costumes, sets and talent. Established in 1913, the R&R shows no sign of flagging yet.

This production was remarkable instantly for its attention to detail: Venice was painstakingly depicted with adorned columns and a moveable bridge. The opening set piece dance featuring clowns

pulling drapes from the pillars was particularly pleasing, although the faux-amateur dancing (which `I strongly suspect it was, given the standards exhibited by the R&R) was not played up enough to quite assuage the idea the dancers were inexperienced.

The show’s male leads, Gavan Ring and Dean Power, were unexceptionable.

Their highly trained voices were rehearsed to become synchronised to perfection. The libertarian views espoused by their characters were made recognisable for a modern audience, increasingly disenchanted with authority and the notions that underpin it.

The arbitrary romantic strand of the plot was hammed up to disbelief wonderfully: the only way to play Gilbert and Sullivan. The chorus harmonies were without hitch, although the acting of the chorus ebbed and flowed.

The clever updating of choice lyrics scandalized some older Gilbert and Sullivan fans (I was behind one woman who very loudly remarked: “I don’t remember it that way”), but this was generally well-received by the most part of the audience. Some intricate political references went over the head of the seven-year-old girl to my right, as well, admittedly, as this little English reviewer.

The most impressive sequences of Gondoliers we compounded by innovative prop-use: the gondolier, as well as the boat at the close of the first act, were nothing short of ingenious. The use of man-sized rag dolls for a dance routine was inspired, however one feels more could have been done with this sequence, which tentatively edged on making a point about the flimsy emptiness of romantic connections, particularly of the arranged kind, as mocked and rejected in turn by Gilbert and Sullivan.

All in all, an excellent exercise in updating, coupled with an immeasurable chunk of vocal welly, in the hands of a set direction that went above and beyond the call of duty, made Gondoliers a highly polished and enjoyable operetta. I urge readers fond of the odd musical experience to look out for the R&R’s forthcoming ventures, which have never, in my experience, failed to impress.

BACKSTAGE

Abbey launches new student card

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SILVERSCREEN

Blonde, but not bland Words: Conor O’ Kelly

Forty-four years have passed since the release of Dr. No, the first Bond film, starring Sean Connery. James Bond has become such a spy cliché that when you buy a ticket to a Bond movie you have solid expectations: foxy female love interest, spectacular explosions, dramatic chase sequence, witty ripostes, sexual innuendo, cars, gadgets and a discreet sex scene-you know the format.

Since the 1960s, the films, their stars and Ian Fleming’s books have become so ingrained in popular culture that it is difficult to imagine what a radical overhaul of a Bond picture might look like. Indeed the legions of Bond fans would probably prefer if you didn’t try.

So, when the director of Bond’s latest outing – Martin Campbell – announced the traditionally dark haired Bond was to be played by blond haired actor Daniel Craig, it was greeted with fear and loathing by a sizable chunk of the fan base. As it turns out, Bond’s hair colour was the least of their worries. In Casino Royale, Campbell has tried to reinvent the format, adding psychological depth to the super spy while dispensing with many of the superfluous idiosyncrasies that had crept into the character over the years.

The film opens with the moment of Bond’s promotion to a 00 agent, and as such achieves his license to kill. This

film then provides a prequel to the Bond myth we are familiar with, and Craig’s portrayal of Bond allows for some ambiguity in his ruthlessness as an agent. He is not yet an experienced killer and his confidence is attributed to an over active ego rather than inherent ability.

This is a more fully realised character than the comic book hero we are used to. Bond is played as both human and vulnerable. These traits are, of course, weaknesses in a secret agent and we duly see Bond punished for them. By the end of the film we have a tougher Bond than we had at the outset.

We see a good deal of the humanity drained from the character, and are left with a darker, twisted Bond.

Craig achieves all this very convincingly. His physical presence is superb, he can carry the tuxedo and his romantic scenes with Eva Green (playing Vesper Lynd) manage to rise above the predictable virility of standard Bond fare. Eva Green performs adequately throughout. Again, her character is more complex than previous Bond girls and her role is more central to the plot, but unfortunately it is never really fully developed. As such, it is hard to empathise with her in the way we are meant to, or understand how Bond does.

The film fails to deliver on an engaging plot. This evil genius is standard Bond fare –

“

The director plays off the Bond myth, and it works

”

scars, creepy mannerismsexcept insomuch as he is entirely incompetent. Simply put, the evil genius owes some worse guys some money and decides to raise the money in a high stakes poker match. Bond must defeat him in poker to make him sing like a canary. Ho-hum.

To be fair though, this wasn’t really a problem: you don’t expect watertight plots from Bond movies, and the story moves along at a satisfying pace. The action and chase sequences are excellent.

Relying less on far-fetched, over

the top CGI, Campbell has revitalised the Bond format, with a more viscerally violent Bond, engaged in physically impressive action. The cinematography is hard to find fault with- it is unobtrusive, slightly unimaginative but delivers in some spectacular stunt sequences.

Judi Dench returns as ‘M’ and gives a suitably tough performance. The hi-tech gadgets are a little thin on the ground but do include an eyebrow raising defibrillator-in-the-glove-compartment travesty.

Campbell has dispensed with the humour of the previous Bonds- there are some comic moments but none of the double-entendres of the previous films and no funnily named characters. This Bond is not formulaic, even the shaken-notstirred Martini is not sacrosanct.

For all this though, the success of Casino Royale lies in its ability to broadly adhere to these expectations, all the while subverting them. Campbell is playing off the Bond myth, and it works. This achievement will make this a very successful Bond movie – not just at the box office, but I suspect it will be remembered as an important turning point in the Bond franchise.

Watching Casino Royale made me think how lazy and tired the Bond format had become. While this is by no means the best Bond movie, it is the best in a long time.

The

Final Cut

Despite previous columns to the contrary, it must be said that 2006 has been a good year for films. Unlike previous years where it seemed Hollywood has been content to churn out brainless blockbuster after brainless blockbuster, 2006 has managed to strike a nice balance between quirky independent films, provocative documentaries and even, heaven forbid, intelligent franchise films.

Both Superman and Bond have returned to our screens in new and improved forms. There have been numerous Indie treats throughout the year (“The King”; “Volver”) and countless provocative, engaging documentaries (“Grizzly Man”; “Black Gold”). It actually appears that Hollywood recognises that cinema-goers won’t accept many more of the likes of “The Omen” or “Lady In the Water”. Not only are Hollywood’s dumb-downed blockbusters getting critically whitewashed, more often than not they’re losing money and this can only be a good thing for how Hollywood tries engage its audience in future. 2006 may even prove a watershed- the year when the brainless blockbuster slowly lost its sheen.

All in all, there has been a wealth of engaging films this year and in an attempt to provoke debate/infuriate readers, “Silver Screen” has picked its top 10 films of 2006 ( in no particular order): 1) “Little Miss Sunshine”; 2) Brick; 3) The Wind that shakes the Barley”; 4) “An Inconvenient Truth”; 5) “Thank you for Smoking”; 6) “The Squid and the Whale”; 7) “Capote”; 8) “Superman Returns”; 9) “Borat”; 10) “The Departed”. These films represented the best in cinema in 2006: be it the outrageous, offensive comedy of “Borat”, the sweet natured “Little Miss Sunshine” or simply seeing Scorcese back on form with “The Departed”.

Performance wise, Christian Bale in “Harsh Times” showed once again that he is one of the most talented actors working in Hollywood today. No doubt none of the above films, or Bale, will win Oscars come February, but “The Final Cut” knows best- go see/rent these films as soon as you can. If you’re disappointed, blame Santa Claus- not us. Enjoy

Nolan loses the plot Words: E o i n M a h e r

After the success of “Batman Begins”, Christopher Nolan is back with his new film “The Prestige”. Based on the original novel of the same name by Christopher Priest, the film follows two magicians, Alfred Borden (Christina Bale) and Rupert Angier (Hugh Jackman), through their careers and the bitter rivalry that ensues as they constantly try to out do each other. This rivalry takes control of their lives and is ultimately bound to end in tragedy.

Unfortunately there is not

much I can say in favour of this “magical” film. Visually the film is very pleasing. It opens well with some good cinematic shots and shows a pleasant side to early twentieth century London throughout. The visual highlight, however, is the magic acts themselves. From the simple disappearing bird to the Transported Man, they are presented in such a way that shows both originality and good execution.

The performances from the cast are, for the most part, believable and entertaining. Bale and Jackman's rivalry takes up most of the film but their acting isn't always as strong as those around them. Cain's performance is the strongest of the film. At pivotal points he has what none of the others do: our complete attention. The most interesting member of the cast is David Bowie as Professor Tesla, not for his acting but simply for the fact he's in the film at all (why Ziggy,why?).

The story itself is the downfall- when it’s not overly complicated its just simply illogical.

However Nolan cannot be

blamed for the film’s plot, only the points at which he deviates from the original novel. The narrative becomes a story within a story and even delves further within another story. The editing seems to jump freely from one of these to another which can at times be hard to follow (not everything has to be “Memento”, Chris).

Upon leaving the cinema I stood for a moment trying to take in what I had seen, when a man turned to me and said, “What did you think of that? It was a bit unusual, eh?” To which I replied, “No, it was terrible.”. “I guess it was, yeh” came his response.

Ultimately “The Prestige” is itself like a magic trick: it’s over before you know what’s going on and it leaves you trying to figure out what has actually happened. It does appear at times that when we're following Nolan's left hand he's making logic and science disappear with his right. Nolan may have hoped that we would be left so confused that we wouldn't know whether we liked it or not, but ultimately what we’re left with is all flash and no substance.

Very Niiice!

Words: Hugh McCafferty

Right, first thing’s first: I’ve never really found Borat particularly funny. In fact, I thought Sacha Baren Cohen got in over his head when his five minute Ali G slot got a series of its own. Having flogged the one joke pretty much to a gruesome death with Da Ali G Show, Cohen attempted to reinvigorate the format with a new character, Borat.

The problem was that Borat was really just Ali G with different clothes, a different accent and a ‘tache. He ploughed the same idiot-interviewer-talks-to-aserious-person-with-cringe-inducing-effects furrow with unspectacular results.

Needless to say then, I wasn’t particularly looking forward to seeing this film. Even Cohen’s recent appearance in Talladega Nights wasn’t enough to convince me that he had anything new to offer. It came as a great surprise, then, when, about twenty seconds into Borat, all of my preconceived ideas about the film disappeared in a fit of laughter.

The movie’s basic premise is that Borat Sagiydev has been chosen by the government of his homeland, Kazakhstan, to travel to the United States to make a documentary about the country. It is hoped that such a programme will inspire Borat’s fellow countrymen to westernise and will help revive its waning economy. This documentary concept allows Cohen to use his tried-and-tested interview format for many of the film’s set pieces. An ominous sign at first, Cohen manages to keep this routine fresh by pushing the bar of taste consistently throughout.

Indeed, one of the most striking things about Borat is just how extremely offensive it is. By about the half hour mark, the viewer has already giggled at rape, antiSemitism and the disabled. The audience can do this because of Borat’s simple, straight-forward stupidity. More significantly, though, he brings out the very worst characteristics of others. As Borat plays along with, and is taken in by personalities such as

the homophobic rodeo organiser or the misogynist frat boys, he manages to provoke more bigotry and grotesque behaviour than the likes of Michael Moore could ever hope to do.

On the flipside of these blackly comic and at times uncomfortable scenes, are episodes that are so ridiculously over-the-top one can’t help but laugh oneself stupid. Not wanting to spoil the film, all I’ll say is that the naked hotel wrestling and the part where Borat meets Pamela Anderson may well have you laughing your way to a hernia or two. The type of slapstick humour Borat engages in, is not the kind one might have previously associated with Cohen and whether he is attempting to pander to an American audience, or whether he is genuinely developing in new stylistic directions is uncertain.

Whatever the case, Borat is a thoroughly entertaining film, just as long as you leave your politically correct trousers at home.

SILVERSCREEN

n’s o s n i ob R n o Jas

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Flaming success

COVERSTORY

Words: G e a r o i d O ’ R o u r

Very few bands endear the pas that seems to possess fans of Be Since their first album “Neither I” (1992) they have always m tained a core, fanatically ded ed, Irish fan-base. Soon the b will test whether this following truly expanded in the wake of highly successful “Flock” album undertaking their biggest Irish to date.

Playing the Point Dep no small undertaking. This ernous shed of a venue dwarfed bigger names than Be I caught up with the band in a cafe on Pearse Street on a Friday morning to see how were faring under the pressure I began by looking ba the summer and their Oxegen formance. On the day, the wea had been horrific with most consigned to wearing bin- li Despite this Paul Noonan, singer with Bellx1, says “Oxe was the highlight of the sum We’d had a fucking horrible the day before in “T in the Pa Our gear broke and we only g play for less than twenty min But when we got down Punchestown the weather br ened up and it was like playin

rke

ssion ellx1. r Am maindicatband g has their m by h gig

pot is cavhas ellx1. little cold they . ck at perather fans ners. lead egen mmer. day ark”. got to nutes. n to rightng in

sure. You know often it’s just in the moment; I would never plan it.”

“With ‘See your heart’ going into ‘Do you realise’ particularly it’s just resonant – it’s really powerful and ends the song really well. A lot of people feel it takes from the songs and maybe it does if it’s taken too far.”

Another unique aspect of Bellx1’s fan-base is the amount of bootlegging and song sharing that occurs between them. In fact there are even fan-run websites dedicated just to bootlegs of the band’s songs.

With the recent backlash from record companies regarding this practice I asked the band what they thought. Brian replied: “I really have no problem with people sharing music. In reality I don’t think it has that much affect on record sales. And for a band in our position it can only be a good thing that people are listening to us.”

Paul adds “From what I have seen the bootleg scene is very nobly self-regulated – if people put up stuff that is commercially available they get shit for it and it’s generally taken down. It’s normally stuff that you did in a radio studio most of which we wouldn’t releasebecause we are anal fuckers.”

Finally to the two most important questions. Firstly, will Bellx1 ever headline Trinity Ball? I received a swift response that the guys didn’t seem to need to even think about. “We’d really love to play the Ball. Having been there a couple of times, like back in 1992, we really love it. The great thing about the Ball was where else would you see the likes of Tinder Sticks at four in the morning in a lecture theatre. If you ever want go see a band perform drunk they’re the ones to see.”

The last question, of course, is what’s next for Kildare’s best band? According to Paul it’s going to be “Hip hop”. One can only wait and hope.

COVERSTORY

g s

the eye of the storm.”

That gig was definitely a success, and for many Bellx1’s set was one of the best on that sodden weekend. The Point Depot gig, however, will be a very different proposition. I asked the guys what was in store for fans. I received a considered response. Hmmm.. .there will be some suprises, but we are keeping the bells and whistle to the minimum.” Paul replies slowly.

“We are just going to go out there and play it... but there could still be a bit of rock opera” he adds with a grin.

This brand of wry humour is synonymous with Bellx1 and particularly with Noonan’s songwriting.

Bearing that in mind, I asked about the song writing within the band particularly on the last album. Multiinstrumentalist Brian Crosby was first to reply.

“We spent a good few weeks in different houses in Wexford and Wicklow and the bones of a lot of songs came from Paul or Dave. But we did spend a lot of time together working on detailed arrangements. For “Flame” we started out with an instrumental we were having a laugh with. There were four sections we were playing around with and we eventually decided this part was going to be the chorus and that part the verse.”

Paul chimes in: “It was Dave who started singing ‘I can’t get you out of my head’ by Kyle Minogue and if you listen to Flame it’s ended up very similar.”

In fact at previous gigs, the band have been known to break into their own version of Minogue’s song as well as Bowie’s ‘Rebel Rebel’. These improvisations and pastiches generally seem to be lead by Paul so I asked him about this distinctive aspect of Bellx1’s live performances.

“I have kind of a mixed head about that,” he replies. “At the time it kind of feels right but afterward looking back I’m never that

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SPECIALFEATURE

14

Reporter Anna Stein spends two days with oscar winning actor Al Pacino and gets an insight into the mind of a legend

SPECIALFEATURE

Pacino

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SPECIALFEATURE

16

Say hello to my little friend

W

hen offered the choice between finishing a long overdue essay or spending two days being Al Pacino’s right hand girl, I suspect few would hesitate before throwing aside the towering piles of books, applying another coat of mascara and dashing out of the library door. At the very least, that was my reaction. When I accepted the job, it didn’t occur to me that I had no idea what being an assistant-to-the-stars would entail, but on the way to the airport a feeling of foreboding began to settle and I started wishing that I had never read “The Devil Wears Prada,” as at least then I would have been blissfully ignorant of the path I was about to walk.

Fortunately, I needn’t have worried. From the first meeting at the airport until the final goodbyes, Al was a lovely person to work for; never demanding and always courteous, although with an infuriating tendency to utterly disregard the passing of time. The two days I spent with him, whilst emotionally exhausting and physically draining, were some of the most enjoyable of my life. From eating in some of Dublin’s finest restaurants to chauffeured limo rides, there are definite advantages to assisting a movie star.

Not least the aura of reflected glory that surrounds you when you leave the hotel, push past the queuing, desperate fans, jump into the waiting car and drive off, leaving people staring after you.

Don’t get me wrong, the days that Al spent here were not filled with ease and leisure, it’s very hard work ensuring that the packed itinerary is kept updated. From the moment Al’s flight arrived (late) to the moment he left (late), my primary job was to call the long list of people who were scheduled to meet with him and tell them that Mr Pacino was running behind schedule, and no, I had no idea when he would finally arrive at his appointment. If it was anyone other than Al, I can imagine that I would have spent the two days with my ears ringing with abuse.

After Al arrived, by private jet of course, we were swept back to Dublin in a limo. The conversation that I overheard gave me my first clue that I was about to be plunged into a world totally unlike any I had previously encountered.

Comments such as “well out of all of his directors, the only one Marlon ever liked was Francis”, and “Of course, Johnny is such a practical joker” were being thrown around the car with such abandon that I was glad I was sitting up with the driver, and therefore able to hide my imbecilic grin.

We arrived in college that afternoon and went to visit Oscar Wilde’s house. After wandering around as Al filmed, we were taken out through the Hamilton Building, much to the surprise of the few students who were hanging around in the foyer.

This was slightly anxiety provok-

ing, as I began to realise that there were very few of us around to act as bodyguards if the crowds turned nasty or demanding. Of course there was no reason to worry, the most we got were some glances as people walking past did double-takes then began to whisper frantically to their friends.

In the Old Library the crowds were denser, and less shy about soliciting for autographs. In my opinion, the tourists were far more demanding than the students – something that Al commented on too. We wandered around the Book of Kells exhibition, where the Book itself was notably absent, and made our way up to the Long Room, where unfortunately there were none of Wilde’s works on display.

Regrettably, the visit was cut short when the fire alarm went off and we all spilled out of the Old Library and into the crowd of waiting tourists who pounced on Al and demanded autographs and photos. Ever anxious about the bloody itinerary, I hovered on the edge of the crowds, wishing Al wasn’t such a nice guy and would refuse to sign a few autographs.

After a photo call in the Front Square, with the Provost grinning like a Cheshire Cat on laughing gas, it was back to the hotel before dinner. This was the part of the evening that I had been dreading. What does one wear to dinner with Al Pacino?

After anguished hours of indecision that left my room looking like it had been vomited on by a wardrobe, I decided that I would be play the role of the PA, and stick to my trusty jeans and voluminous bag. In reality, when you’re out with Al, no one looks at you anyway, so my anguish was more founded in self-obsession than on any real need to look good.

T

he next day there was more filming to be done, and due to the crowds that had gathered the previous day the producer decided that the presence of a few Gardaí would be useful.

Surprisingly enough in these crime-infested times, the Gardaí were happy to oblige us, and two spent the afternoon hanging around in Merrion Square until we arrived, two hours late. Indeed they seemed thrilled to meet Al, and asked him for photos, looking less like strict enforcers of the law and more like over-eager schoolboys.

By that afternoon the event that I had been dreading was looming large on the horizon – the Provost’s dinner. It had been made crystal clear to me that it would be a major faux pas if Al and his party were to arrive late, and it was my responsibility to ensure that they were not. This is not as easy as it sounds. With much pleading and cajoling I managed to get the group out of the door only five minutes late, only to be thwarted by the Dublin

Career:

1,243: Applications for tickets to the event

Panic in Needle Park

280: Tickets actually distributed

(1971)

The Godfather (1972) Scarecrow (1973)

12: People who returned their tickets

Serpico (1973)

12: Members of the media who were officially invited

Dog Day Afternoon

5: Starbucks tripple macchiatos consumed by Pacino over the two days

...And Justice for All

11: The number of Paparazzi who attempted to talk their way into the event

Scarface (1983)

The Godfather II (1974) (1975)

(1979)

Author! Author! (1982)

Sea of Love (1989) The Godfather III (1990)

traffic. It was as if every car in Dublin had poured out into the streets in an attempt to slow us down, and I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

When we finally arrived, Al went into dinner, and I began a frantic quest to find a computer on which to make some last minute changes to his acceptance speech. Being one of the “staff” is not easy, and it is certainly tiring. After much discussion, it was decided how Al would enter and exit the Arts Block, the order of speaking and the getaway plan. The event itself went very well, the late additions to the speech weren’t as glaring as I had feared, and afterwards everyone was basking in a general glow of good will. That is of course until, in my enthusiastic haste, I gouged Al in the eye with my umbrella.

What a claim to fame that would be-“I was the girl who blinded the Godfather!”

Thankfully being the hard man he is, Al shrugged it off and then offered me a job as a bodyguard on the strength of my umbrella wielding skills.

Waving Al off was something of a relief. During my two days taking care of him I had woken up several times in the middle of the night with a horrible feeling I’d forgotten to do something, call someone or get his coffee. I’m not sure my nerves could take it on a full-time basis.

However, without a doubt, after spending some time living the high-life, going back to that essay, which is still patiently waiting for me to return to it, will not be easy.

Perhaps I may take Al up on his offer of a job after all. See you all in LA!

200: People waiting for Al Pacino outside his hotel as he was about to leave for the airport 4: The number of Gardai who accompanied him.

Dick Tracy (1989) Frankie and Johnny (1991)

Scent of a Woman (1992)

Carlito's Way (1993) Heat (1995) Devil's Advocate (1997)

SPECIALFEATURE

Event facts:

Donnie Brasco (1997) The Insider (1999) Insomnia (2002) The Recruit (2003) The Merchant of Venice (2004)

Two for the Money (2005)

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18 Thinning face of fashion

HIGHSTYLE

Words: Joey Facer

Far be it for me to impose yet another article about the rise of the size 0 on the fashion-conscious public. I could not hazard an explanation as to why women are choosing to reject pleasing men with their figures and choose instead to make other women hate them for their impossibly bony torsos. And I will certainly avoid any prolonged consideration of my own size 8 (ish) body, recently described by one quickly doghoused boyfriend as “curvy”. (I ask you. If size 8 is curvy, I am tempted to give up.)

The allure of fashion, for many, is its incessant attempt to reach bodily and artistic perfection. The success of recent film “The Devil Wears Prada” has cemented fashion once more at the forefront of public consciousness. The day after seeing this film, I began to clock a rising trend all over the city for archwrenchingly high heels. The sight of a down-dressed father with an LBD-tights-stiletto-clad mother watching their four-year-old son enjoy the swings in the park on a Sunday morning was particularly thought provoking.

Many women veer from one extreme to the other, spending a few days in full make-up and heels before succumbing to boyfriend jumpers, jeans and Cons. In the workplace, an attention to style can be countered by weekend casuals.

College is another frontier altogether, a melee of all kinds of styles and influences, dictated oftentimes by little other than what is clean.

What, though, drives some people to go that extra mile all of the time? I could not help but admire the friend of a friend who, I am reliably informed, “wears heels all the time”, particularly given her cobble-ridden lodgings in Front Square. How laudable. In the period following WWII women considered it their duty to be immaculately turned out at all times. Today, celebrities seem to think it acceptable that they leave their houses with not a scrap of make-up on. Not even lowly I, third year college student, would consider such an action.

On clothes though, I’ve tended to be less of a Nazi.

No more, though.

Physical perfection may not exist,

but making an effort is certainly a step in the correct direction. And I’m not referring to the sex-driven job-market where every mini skirt scores a promotion. This is not about pleasing others.

Every employment is more enjoyable when dressed well-how true the Mars Delight ad featuring overdressed waitress in prom dress and heels. I applaud her. I would unreservedly urge others to do the same.

As to advocating a universal anorexia look-who would be so foolish. Our purpose of grooming, ladies, is to attract a mate, and men and women will fall for different types-fat, skin and bones, ugly, very ugly-all have their patrons. This is a fact illus-

trated by unattractive couples everywhere.

But we are our own enterprises, and the image we show to the world not only affects the way we are treated, but also speaks volumes on how we feel about ourselves. A woman immaculately turned out need not be considered the slave of an increasingly materialist society blindly focusing on her outer aspect to cover a dead inner. No. She respects herself, and considers herself worthy of the time and attention to detail she has employed to look well. While the models starve, let the rest of us showcase the work of the designer, be they fashionhouse or high street branded, to its fullest potential.

Yourview Name: Eileen Sullivan Q: What is your concep t of beauty?

A: Elizabeth Taylor, Grace Kelly, Catherine Zeta - Jones.

Q: Has your concept of beauty changed A: from when you were younger?

When I was younger women use d to want to be cur vy, now they want to be ano rexic.

Words: Kerrie Forde

less of the discipline or subject, you are witnessing a different perspective on the world. The more you read the more you realise that life is read individually by everyone and where the mind is trained to look beyond the surface, so is the eye. From reading one book, you can experience something which otherwise, might take you years. I can’t help now but mention Mary Wollstonecraft: she was so aware of the dangers implicit with women indulging themselves with ‘an’ ideal of beauty and so advocated a proper education for women. I see the most rational minded girls fret over this ideal and it can lead to thorough unhappiness.

I am not suggesting that surface has no importance and can not be manipulated effectively. It has been statistically proven that less attractive people earn, on average, 13% less than more attractive people. It can have material value but I think what is crucial is the definition of the word attractive and how we can look at it differently, a word which is used in constant relation to beauty.

I remember determining when I was fourteen that despite that fact that I didn’t look like one of the girls they put in magazines, that I was going to be attractive.

That was a choice, I made. It is only now that I realise how clever that was because it was an internal construction and my own individual one. I feel now so strongly, that if you carry that with you, as I did. People buy into it because that is what you are communicating. I knew that it would help me get what I wanted in life, like attention from men, when I wanted it. Most importantly I would be able to engage them.

HIGHSTYLE

The ugly beast of beauty

Every time I go home I think about beauty. We are all going home soon and so I am thinking about beauty. I think the more educated you become, the more your interpretation of beauty might change.

Home being for me the before and University, the now.

The first time the concept really comes to life is in a school environment. You become part of that orderly line you have to form and your part of that dinner table which consists of more people than just your family. Beauty becomes important because you realise almost instantaneously that some people stand out more than others. Your see and you actively look before you begin to exercise your mind.

My closest friends, to date, are those of whom I met within this environment. I feel inclined to place one of them within the context of this article. Once a magnetic figure within a tightknit community at school, I see her wilt when there is no male attention to bounce off, in a London bar or the like. When she is redoing makeup in the toilets, the time it takes is excessive and I am often left watching her watch herself. It just seems very dated. I find it difficult to imagine that she has taken herself out of the time and place, where maybe a pretty face meant that you could get whatever you wanted. It’s not sound because playground politics expire.

It is difficult to introduce, said friend, in the light of the connection I have suggested towards education and beauty. She has been through third level education and excelled. I just wonder to what degree she was thinking about what she was learning.

When you read literature, regard-

Yourview Name: Ruth Kearney Eimear Nolan

Q: What is your co ncept of beauty?

A: Happiness, confid ence, style.

Q: Has your conc ept of beauty changed from whe n you were younger?

A: Yes, when you ar e younger you think it is all about looks, ha ir, makeup and clothes. Now it is how someone carries themselves, humour or maybe quirkiness. There are so many different ways of being attra ctive.

19

20 Dying

to

diet?

FOODDRINK

Words: Beth Armstrong

“Christmas is coming, and the geese are getting fat…..” goes the old rhyme. However, in this day and age it’s not plumping up geese for Christmas dinner that people talk about, but instead who can or can’t fit in to their little black dress during the festive party season. The world is diet obsessed, and never so much at this time of year when there are events to go to and nights out aplenty. Magazine pages are filled with hints and tips on the latest celebrity eating craze, with glossy pictures of the Nicole Ritchie’s of the world and their protruding rib-cages. The options are endless.

The steady favourite over the years, the calorie controlled diet, is the choice of Doctors.

Combined with regular exercise, cutting women’s calories down to 1500 a day and men’s to 2000 can have you drop a pound or two a week, the healthy way to lose weight. With the Trinity gym offering a years membership for 65 Euro a pop, exercising doesn’t have to be expensive - it can even be for free if you get your trainers on and go for a run. Replacing chocolate and crisps with fruit and veg, accompanied by a whirl on the exercise bike might not seem like the most fun option, but with low fat meals available from all the leading supermarkets, these days to lose weight by eating healthily with minimum effort all you have to do is press the automatic minute button on the microwave.

Nevertheless, although tried and tested and successful without fail, the low cal diet just isn’t the in thing with Hollywood.

Although stigma surrounds it, the

size 00 body is lusted after by many of the movie star elite, and the ordinary mortals of the world who wish to emulate their heroines have no fear in replicating the dieting ways of the rich and famous.

Still popular, but losing some of its edge, is the Atkins Diet. Devised by Dr. Atkins himself, the diet decrees that Carbs are evil. For all those who didn’t have a passion for Biology at school, Carbs, both simple and complex are the fuel for the body.

The main component of pasta, potatoes, bread and rice, the starchy molecules leave you feeling full after most meals. Atkins followers remove them from their diet, instead increasing their protein levels through consumption of meats and dairy produce - which though higher in fat than the before mentioned carbs, are not as bulky and hence the weight drops off. A typical Atkins day would include a fry for breakfast, without toast and for dinner steak.

Described as a manly diet, Ross O’Carroll-Kelly tried out the Atkins in preparation for his wedding day. However, as Ross discovered, the benefits are not all you get. Bad breath and, to put it politely, flatulence, are common side-effects of Dr. Atkin’s infamous diet, and with medics the world over criticising the removal of carbs. If you want a balanced diet as well as losing a few pounds, this one isn’t for you.

Increasingly popular and this year’s big thing is the GI diet.

The science behind the GI, or Glycemic Index Diet is that eating food effects the body’s blood sugar, and avoiding yo-yoing blood sugar levels can help you

lose weight. Designed originally for Diabetics, the GI diet suggests eating certain complex carbohydrates which won’t send your blood sugar rocketing. Out the window are simple carbs, such as sugar , and “white” carbohydrates are rejected, with emphasis put on wholegrain. Unlike the Atkins, carbs aren’t banned, but are instead tolerated as long as they are of the right variety, thus the GI is a healthier option, though until you get in to the habit of eating the correct foods it’s easy to go wrong.

Following a diet is hard work. A mind for maths is very helpful, adding and subtracting calories, and in the case of Weight Watchers, totalling points.

It’s no wonder that celebs have chefs who make each meal to diet specifications, such as Bill Clinton who has a “South Beach Diet” chef.

Gwyneth Paltrow and Madonna are fans of the Macrobiotic diet which mainly involves eating raw food and no meat, whereas other famous faces are fans of “grazing” - eating as many as six small meals throughout the day. New Mothers are said to have it worst, with Liz Hurley apparently crying herself to sleep after the birth of her son, not because of post-natal depres-

sion, but because she was starving. This is the girl who has proudly said she has six raisins each day for lunch.

It is comments like these which bring out the nasty sides to diets. Fair enough trying to lose a few pounds to fit in to your favourite dress, but beneath the rules, regulations and constant calorie-counting eating disorders may lie. Anorexia and Bulimia, heart wrenching diseases, are governed by the idea of control.

Obsessive personalities can teeter over the edge, when all they originally wanted to do was become a size 8.

Fearful of the diets that are on each and every newsstand, but still wanting to slip in to that slinky number this Christmastime? Fear not, you may already be on a diet! The Student Diet, not rich in anything but alcohol and only balanced when you’ve money in the bank is a sure-fire way to lose weight.

Replacing meals with cereal when it’s the end of the month and you’re waiting for the money to come through will have the pounds dropping off in no time.

Diets, pah! As soon as you stepped through Front Arch you were on one already!

Nude, Suffolk Street, D2.

Words: B e t h A r m s t r o n g

Bored of the Arts Block Café, but disabled by the pelting rain, Nude’s prime location on Wicklow Street meant it was chosen for a late lunch after a flurry of lectures.

Depicted as a healthy fast-food joint, Nude’s wholesome, organic food is good for the body.

Although condemned by many as notoriously over-priced, in the postJamie Oliver Good Food campaign, Nude defends it’s prices by it’s philosophy: “You are what you eat.”

Communal wooden tables make Nude a perfect spot when a crowd is up for lunch. Its layout generally suits the purpose a self service area for cold food and drinks, with the hot food menu displayed in blackboard style above the counter. A varied menu, there’s a choice of bagels, paninis, soup and salads. Posters boast of the array of smoothies homemade on the premises.

On this occasion, food was chosen from the cold self service area. Faced with a choice of salads, in the end the Asian Chicken Salad with noodles was the choice du jour, accompanied with the Simply Strawberry Smoothie. Opting for a wrap, my dining partner chose the Chinese Duck. Unfortunately, neither were up to scratch. Healthy food is at it’s best when you don’t realise it is healthy. Sadly, in this case, every mouthful made me wish I’d forgone the “body beautiful” idea.

The Asian Chicken Salad looked anaemic, and tasted the same, and the duck wrap, I was told “tasted like plastic”. The Smoothie wasn’t thick, and instead felt more like I was drinking a juice.

Overall, Nude was a disappointment. A kick in the stomach to healthy eating and all good intentions, the only positive side to this lunch was the dash to Butlers afterwards to get the bad taste out of my mouth.

Hanging hell Words: Emma Timmons

On deciding the subject of this edition’s article - fate intervened. I realised I was in no state to be making any sort of decisions, let alone writing articles. I was hungover and in need of an immediate hangover cure. The alternative remedies for relief from morning-after sickness, strong coffee, pickle juice, beer spiked tomato juice, even a concoction known as Black Velvet that consists of champagne and Guinness, were too convoluted for my fragile mind so I turned to more viable methods. Here are my top five hangover cures.

Number five in the top hangover cures has to be a smoothie. When you wake up with a desert for a mouth and an acid filled stomach, the mouthwatering smoothie blend can seem like the answer to all your prayers. An energy boost coupled with all the vitamins and nutrients of fresh fruit provide a placebo effect. But I have yet to feel the effect of four strawberries, a banana, and a yoghurt in combating the shoulder of vodka and drinks a plenty I necked the night before. A smoothie can help neutralise the typical shame (and of course the ’fear’ - a term to describe the inexplicable insecurities one must endure the following day). It cures the mental effects of alcohol by allowing the victim to evade this sense of guilt putting you back on track for a healthy lifestyle. However, the acid from

all the fruit can provide detrimental effects on a sensitive stomach.

Number four is exercise.

This seems to be more popular among men. Apparently exercise the following day can leave you feeling fabulous. Exercise can be painful with a hangover but it increases the blood flow to the entire body especially the head and induces sweating which helps the body purge alcohol.The feeling of lethargy dissipates and the endorphins have a positive mental effect. Realistically the prospect of going for a jog the morning after the night before would be as tempting as having a shot of sambuca for breakfast.

Number three is to keep drinking. Maybe not a sambuca, but a pint of Guinness can do wonders for settling a stomach.

Wake up, open a can and before you know it your wooziness will be flooziness. Commonly known as "a hair of the dog...", this method does work, but only for a while. It is most popular amongst first year students, however if repeated your body forms a reliance on the alcohol resulting in the eventual hangover being a severe form of cold turkey. Your body contains an enzyme, which breaks ethanol down into the other chemicals that are making you ill. Adding more alcohol makes your body stop and concentrate on the new alcohol coming in so you do get a brief reprieve, but as soon as that

added alcohol gets processed, you're back where you started but with even more toxic chemicals floating around. Unless you intend to keep drinking forever, this is probably not the best hangover cure.

Number two is a fry.

After a heavy night of drinking our bodies crave carbohydrates and greasy foods. A fry accompanied by a glass of water is essential. While the fry lines the stomach, soaking up any acids, the water rehydrates. Scientific evidence tells us that you should eat as much food as you can hold down. The pyloric valve will shrink in response to the large amount of food you consume thereby reducing any further absorption of alcohol. Also a large meal is likely to contain nutrients to replenish your body and cause drowsiness, which will help you sleep-which brings us on to number one.

Number one is sleep.

After a night of hardcore drinking, your body slips into unconsciousness rather than sleep and therefore gains no benefit. Your body has been abused and needs some serious recuperating time.

On the other hand by sleeping through sickness, you don’t realise how bad your body feels.

So, get back into bed, forget about your lectures and sleep through until the next night out.

Then your body will be ready to start the vicious cycle all over.

FOODDRINK

InReview:

21

22 Of God and (wo)man

SEXLIVES

Words: Fern McCauley

God wants us to have life and have it to the full. (That includes sex and relationships by the way.)

What do you see when you walk into the newsagents and see the magazines on the shelves?

Well this is what I see, rows of girls screaming from every cover “do you think that I am pretty? Do you?” And it’s not just the girls on the top shelf, but every girl on the fronts of magazines. What makes it worse is if I look at, say, Scarlett Johansson on the front of Vogue or

The secret corner

I always thought that people in the Hamilton building didn’t have sex.

However, word on campus is that there are more than functions integrating over on the stony grey side of campus.

This alleged is apparently going on in the Maths Society room which is situated on the second floor of the Maths department within the Hamilton building itself.

Open 24hours, the Maths Society room boasts large leather couches which, despite their age, are quite comfortable and sturdy enough to hold the most vigorous three body complexes. There is also a huge wooden table in the centre of the room which facilitates a number of

Vanity Fair, and I myself think - oh right that’s what I should look like, I’ll emulate that and then I’ll be happy.

The media tells us in programmes like The O.C. or Sex in the City that you will find happiness and fulfilment when you find ‘the one’. I know that inside most of us there is a little girl that would like for her personal Big or her Ryan or her Lucas to one day come along and save her from a life of drudgery and fulfil her purdifferent positions and possible role-play situations- suitable for even the most adventurous of couples.

The Maths room is full of books and dust- it’s kind of like a library, except dingier. Thus it proves to be a safe alternative for those students who have always fantasised about sex in the Lecky but haven’t had the nerve.

Unfortunately the books on offer are mainly maths orientated. The Maths Society is, however, in the process of buying new books with college funding- we recommend they fork out on some hardcore Kama Sutra sex books, or maybe How to Overcome Premature Ejaculation (Paperback: Helen Singer Caplan: Amazon.com).

Top Tip: If the Maths room is occupied by some loser talking about Fubini’s theorem, slip into the staff toilet situated just beside the maths room. This forbidden chamber has the added allure of DANGER… at any moment you might be caught by some maths lecturer who wants to go for a slash.

pose as a woman. We have heard it all before: we are told to be skinny and beautiful, and conversely we all know that beauty is on the inside. That doesn’t seem to have anything to do with God. But it does.

One of my favourite parts in the Bible is in 2 Corinthians 4 where Paul talks about what is seen temporary, and while we are decaying externally, through Jesus we are renewed internally. So while my outer-self will become less beautiful with age my innerself will become more beautiful.

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen but what is unseen” (v18).

So firstly, we don’t need the vanity of the media to affirm us. For a start it is not mere vanity, and in the Bible there is a reason for it. When woman was made way back in Genesis she was the last thing God created, the crown of creation so to speak.

Personally, that makes me feel quite special. But then it all went wrong and we are not now what God intended us to be, and vanity is the search for what we were meant to be, and what’s far more exciting, what we are going to be.

Secondly, we can’t expect anyone else to fulfil the responsibility of affirming us.

Where do we look to now for affirmation that we are beautiful and desired? We look to a relationship, most often sexual, because that is what feels natural, to be acknowledged by a partner who is there in the flesh that you are the one he loves.

And so in our search for this affirmation; we crave, we compromise ourselves into being what we think someone would love. To crave a relationship is natural, we were made for relationships, but so often we look for the

wrong things from the wrong ones. What if some of what we require from a relationship from a partner we can only receive from God? In the Bible Jesus says ‘My purpose is to bring life in all its fullness’. God wants you to have life and he wants you to have sex, He just wants you do it in a way that is fulfilling and lifegiving and in the way that he intended. There is a whole book in the bible dedicated to sex called Song of Songs. God doesn’t turn away in disgust when we have sex, He celebrates it, but He wants it to be in a situation where He is at the centre. God created us to be in relationships, but he created us to be in a relationship with Him first and foremost. In Jeremiah it says “I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the Lord. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart.”

In a relationship with God we can find our fullness of life, our identity of who we are meant to be so we do not have to rely on a partner to find that fulfilment. This is vital.

God doesn’t ask us to compromise ourselves for his love.

Some people think that God only loves people who follow his rules, but He loves everyone. His love is unconditional; it is graceful, it is present even when we don’t deserve it.

A friend of mine said that when God is not the centre of the relationship than you can not love the other person as they should be loved through Jesus. This may seem like an obnoxious or fanatical statement to make but what she meant was that you can have a very loving relationship without God but you are not being loved the way that you should.

Do you know a chair sexier than this one?

Then help Sorcha Lyons find it.

Next issue she will present a list of the top ten sexiest society/club heads.

Send your nominations and suggestions to: sex@trinitynews.ie Both men and women may apply

THEBOX

Is silver screen fame really worth it for Borat?

Words: Darren Kennedy

Borat has undoubtedly been the funniest element of Sacha Baron Cohen’s three part persona. With this creation, Cohen has successfully spotted a niche in the entertainment industry to make this character a global phenomenon.

This sexist anti-Semitic has become loved by everyone-apart from the select few that can only be described as his victims, who can be seen in his latest Box Office smash hit, “Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan”.

The film has had huge success at both the US and European box offices earning upwards of $154million in its first three weeks in cinemas worldwide, $91million of which stemmed from the US. It is a real rarity to come across someone dissatisfied with the Borat experience. However, there have been some complaints voiced in relation to the two trailers, which were aired to promote the film.

Together, the combined length of these trailers reaches 4 minutes, and they manage to encompass the funniest moments of the entire film. Without a shadow of a doubt the laughter decibel level reached it’s peek within the cinema theatre when Borat announced at the dining table that, “In my country, they would go crazy……eh, for these two……not so much (her)”. After seeing the trailers so many times I felt some what isolated from the eruption of laughter, because there’s only so many times one can find the same thing funny.

Blame can only really be laid on the promoters of the film-other than this it is extremely difficult to find fault with Sacha Baron Cohen’s comedic genious.

It is clearly evident by the profit Borat has made in its first three weeks that audiences worldwide love this film. The film’s only dissatisfied viewers are its very own cast and dissatisfied, it seems, is an understatement in the extreme for them.

Firstly, lets address the three frat boys in the camper van.

These pathetic individuals who appear chauvinistic, illiberal and completely misogynistic have decided they want to take legal action against Fox, claiming that they were heavily intoxicated when they agreed upon accepting the $200 paycheque for being a part of the Borat mockumentary.

They were, apparently, also informed that the film would not be distributed within the US. These three unfortunate lads were each provided with a bottomless glass of alcoholic beverages and it was only after $100 worth of drink was consumed that they signed away their dignity and the release forms to the film. With these forms signed it is unlikely they will be able to profit from their misfortune.

Let’s now move onto lawsuit number 2. The opening sequence of the film introduces us to Borat as he gives us a tour around the little village, which he lives in “Kazakhstan”. This, however, is not Kazakhstan but a village called Glod, in Romania.

Those who appear in this scene all live in this village and none of them are actors or have a word of English. Two of the villagers have decided to take legal action because they feel they have been depicted as being incestuous, rapists, abortionists and prostitutes. This argument would have a more solid grounding if the film was actually shot using real peo-

“

Minister Ermukhamet Ertysbayev sees Borat’s character as a medium to mock American individuals

”

ple in a village in Kazakhstan but it is harder to accept their claims of affliction being that it was shot in Romania. The “actors”, were lead to believe that they were involved in a genuine “movie film” about poverty and hardship within Romania. $30 million is being sought in damages. From what can be seen of the villagers and their quality of life, they could really do with being awarded this huge cash injection.

Further legal action is lurking on the horizon because the rodeo manager, the Christian Minister and the members of the Feminist group are all contemplating jumping onboard the lawsuit bandwagon. They are infuriated after being mislead into thinking that what was being filmed was only going to be broadcast on Kazakh television screens. From the way in which Kazakhstan has been portrayed by Cohen, only the very privileged Kazakh nation-

als would have had the liberty of viewing the documentary if he was actually telling his interviewees the truth. Not many people are actually aware of what the country is actually like. At the moment it is experiencing a rise in economic prosperity and is extremely rich in oil reserves.

With so many people aggravated by this film, it is extremely ironic that Kazakhstan’s own Cultural Ministry announced how it can see the comical side to the film. Minister Ermukhamet Ertysbayev sees Borat’s character as merely a medium to mock American individuals and their culture and ideals and in no way causes offence to Kazakhstan as a country.

Sacha Baron Cohen is undoubtedly enjoying all the hype that is constantly popping up in relation to his film as lawsuit after lawsuit begins to emerge. After all, this is for the production company to deal with, and not him.

He can certainly be gratified with his second transition from the small to the big screen after his lack of success with Ali G Indahouse.

Universal pictures has already bought the legal rights Baron Cohen’s third Ali G Show instalment: Bruno, a gay Austrian fashion correspondent.

Management at the top levels within Universal should be watching with eager intendment how these legal fiascos unfold to avoid further controversy that Cohen is guaranteed to provoke in his new film. With Borat’s huge success within the movie community it’s going to be difficult for Bruno to match up, but judging by his sidesplitting track record I’m sure he’ll pull it off with just as much zest.

23

HOT

Faceoff

24

Words: Joey Facer

The Pope

V

ENDNOTES

After 1870, the Pope ceased to reign supreme over the then-called “Papal States”. His diocese is now the Vatican City, a city-state completely enclosed by Rome. So why does the Pope continue to hold so much authority? It has clearly little to do with his political role, but rather, his spiritual one.

In a startling move toward democracy from a praise-worthily early point, the Pope has been elected to office since 1059, and a pleasing number of arrangements exist to account for absent cardinals, too busy tending their sick cats, to vote for the new supreme head of their hallowed Church. The two-thirds majority necessary for the new Pope to be elected also speaks highly of a politically enlightened institution. (Who had been holding out for lightning bolts-but alas, were forced to resort to the prosaics of beurocracy.)

The continuation of using code, (or “Latin”) to communicate, may seem to many an unnecessarily elusive action; however the Roman Catholics insist there are no naughty words contained in the Pope’s acceptance vocabulary.

Indeed, the keeping alive of made-up languages is central to the Roman Catholic doctrine, and upheld by the Pope, because otherwise amoamas-amat for fifty years was just a big waste of time.

But on a serious note, not only regarding language choice, the Pope has ever upheld the status-quo, that old-school set of traditional values. Those under him submit to his authority for the reason that he is a sign of the visible unity of the Church. The unbroken line of apostolic succession is oft-cited as an ulterior motive for respect, and the move of the current Pope to return to traditional dress, and traditional mass, is a sign the Church is what some might call perennial, not time-bound, but rather, ever unchanging in every changing era. Bravo for that!

Dalai Lama

The name, the religion, the very manner in which the supreme head of the Tibetan Buddhist Church is chosen all leave the yawn-worthy election of the Pope, that needlessly filled our TV screens without cease for about a thousand years in 2005, in the proverbial dust.

Far more than intermediary, and far more interestingly, the Dalai Lama is believed to be the incarnation of compassion. By rendering the translation of “Dalai Lama” in such a way as to mean “ocean guru”, the hilarity is compounded. But that is not to undermine the achievements of the great man, who along with uniting Tibet (in his fifth reincarnation), remains a propounder of peace and unity, as well as a religious icon all over the world.

This notion of reincarnation might seem odd to those outside of the Tibetan Buddhist religion. The current Dalai Lama stating he will not be reborn in a land controlled by China, and furthermore that he will not be reincarnated at all if Tibet does not change its ways, is problematic for some.

However, far from the nut-job the above might suggest, the Dalai Lama seems to have an excellent head on him. He is quoted as saying: “even an enlightened being with limitless knowledge and power and the wish to save all others from suffering, cannot eliminate the individual karma of each being.” Absolutely.

So what exactly is his office? Far from mediating between a higher power and man, the Dalai Lama seems sensibly more concerned with his temporal office, calling for religious harmony and worldwide peace, amongst other, more tenable, aspirations.

Kudos to the Buddhists, though, for thinking outside of the box. The Dalai Lama wins against the Pope by default for the obvious reason: he can’t die. That, and he uses a treadmill in the mornings if it’s wet outside.

Bless. [See www.dalailama.com]

Noticeboard Food and Filmmakers/ Drink €10 Tues 6th Dec Crawdaddy ing Includes danc ue sq le bur

Powerscourt House Daily: 9.30-5.30pm €9/€7.5 students

In T New ransit T maga rinity trave l zine la unch Friday Dec 1 es 7:30 sy Eliz R oom

BESS and g Class Engineerin Party 8th D2 Tues 2 promos ks n ri €3/5, D

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Compiled by: Joey Facer

Swarovski Christmas decorations.

How decadent.

But how truly festive The Gloss; a new Irish fashion glossy. Great layout, great content. Do peruse Bitchy society in-fighting.

Gives us something to talk about Scones-breakfast-y, lunchy, and... dinner-y?

Go on, why not

9 o’clock News, Ray D’Arcy show, Marian Finucane’s show: Daire Hickey fatigue has truly set in. A spot on (D-List) Celebrity Love Island beckons Shops hiking their prices up for Xmas already. You know who you are…

Paris Hilton at BT2.

Not speaking, just posing.

Seems her publicist is a little cautious we’ll discover Paris has, in fact, no brain. Her survival remains a miracle of modern science Hen nights in Temple Bar, starring scantily clad overthe-hill-ers. Watch the cellulite on these travel-bunnies and shudder

NOT