http://acollegemiscellany.com/PDFs/2005/3

Trinity News THE

INDEPENDENT

STUDENT

NEWSPAPER

OF

TRINITY

COLLEGE

DUBLIN

Godskitchen competition

Ireland’s Oldest Student Newspaper

Est. 1947

Tuesday, November 9th, 2004

www.trinity-news.com

Vol.57 No.3

Birds do it, bees do it, but mostly aggravated Teens do it...

SEE SCIENCE

PAGE16

Clubbers Heaven Godskitchen comes to Dublin and TN have 4 Tickets to give away See Letters page 23

Luas solution may affect Trinity Land *College still in dark over any plans *SU keeping open mind on proposals *National media continues speculation Linda Barry According to a series of articles in the national media last week, Trinity College may hold the key to relieving Dublin’s traffic chaos.

The eventual unveiling of the Luas earlier this year evoked an electric mix of excitement and nostalgia among its first passengers.

The weary and outspoken commuters of Dublin, however, have refused to wholeheartedly embrace the new system. many have already raised the question of why the red and green lines were completely independent of each other, with their city centre routes stopping at least a fifteen minute walk apart.

It appears that the new Minister for Transport, Martin Cullen, is eager to address this anomaly. The solution currently being touted, however, may affect Trinity

College, lying as the College does on the route which, according to the Railway Procurement Agency (RPA)’s Ger Hannon, most “readily presented itself” as the location for the ‘central corridor’ line.

In an article printed in Tuesday’s Irish Times, a proposed route passing via Dawson Street, Nassau Street and College Street to Westmoreland Street route was criticised by Dublin Bus. This area carries one third of all the city’s bus services and is considered too narrow in parts to facilitate both buses and a dedicated tramway. Luas continues to maintain that it cannot share significant lengths of track with other traffic and it does seem self-defeating to have trams delayed behind buses which stop so frequently.

A further article in Thursday’s edition of the newspaper discussed

The first SU council of the year, on Tuesday 2nd November proved eventful, with intense political correctness, sharp criticism of the Chair, Mr. Byrne, from the main body of council, no less than 16 committee elections and a fire alarm raised midway through the meeting. Proceedings began with attention being drawn to the new Sign Language Interpreter. See page 4

McDowell and Smyth of Sinn Féin spar in chamber Last Tuesday, Michael McDowell spoke at a debate between Sinn Fein and the Progressive Democrats. As expected, it made for an interesting meeting and the GMB Debating Chamber was full to reflect this. For added excitement it had been rumoured that Labour Youth would cause chaos.

See page 3

UCD students not invited to birthday party Thursday, November 3rd, marked the 150th anniversary of the opening of the Catholic University, which was to ultimately become University College Dublin. While UCD has celebrated in lavish style at the high end of the academic scale, with honorary degrees lavished on notables, a visit from the Taoiseach Bertie Ahern. See page 2

InternationalReview Bush won, so what? See page 8

Business&Politics D a f t . i e : F r o m T r i n n e r s t o w i n n e r s

For the uninitiated, Daft.ie provides searchable lists of rooms, property to let, property for sale, office spaces and parking spaces all over Ireland. It’s the brainchild of two young brothers.

See page 8

DR SEAN DUFFY, a senior lecturer in Medieval History, is facing severe disciplinary action from the Board of Trinity College over allegations made by a post-graduate student in his department. College authorities have come forward with a statement on the matter, released last Thursday November 4th, explaining the action being taken by the Board regarding the matter but did not disclose the allegations themselves. It does reveal that a disciplinary panel met on September 22nd and October 11th 2004, to consider a number of charges leveled against Dr Duffy by both the former Dean of Graduate Studies and the postgraduate student who made the allegations against the lecturer.

Several charges were not proceeded with, whilst Dr Duffy admitted

wouldn’t want to rule anything out.”

Media speculation has also encouraged Dubliners to advance more radical plans. One interesting letter to the Editor appeared, also in Thursday’s edition of the Irish Times, which declared that there

was an “obvious solution” that had escaped previous discussion. The author of this letter claimed that the easiest, cheapest and most widely beneficial way of resolving the current problem is to route the new Luas line through the campus, entering Trinity College land at

I could do nothing but stare back in silence. My inquiry regarding the location of the Dublin Bus lost-and-found had moments ago been answered by the company’s “customer service representative” with the most indecipherable sting of syllables I had ever heard. Worried I might annoy – or even worse offend – him with the revelation that I could not make out a single world he had uttered, I frantically considered how to proceed.See page 19

Comment Falun Gong, free speech and oppression

Five years ago I began a political campaign to free Zhao Ming - a Trinity student who was imprisoned in china because of his personal faith. I never commented on the beliefs of Falun Gong which were to me a separate issue to the human rights campaign and were at that time something I was ignorant of. The campaign was a success and Zhao Ming returned to College. I met him twice and he impressed me as an amiable and peaceful person. See page 21

Index Features:18-20 Comment:21-22 Letters:23 Sport Feature:25-26 Sport: 27-28

to a number of them, as well as apologizing to all the persons concerned in the matter.

As a result of the disciplinary panel’s meetings, it has been made known that Dr. Duffy has been suspended by the Board of College on full pay for six months. Former Head of the Medieval History Department in 2003/2004, he is henceforth barred for four years from holding the post of Head of Department of any school within Trinity, and he is not permitted to serve as Faculty Dean or as a College officer. Dr. Duffy’s membership of Board, the statement assured, will be considered in due course.

Under College Statutes, Dr Duffy has 21 days to appeal the decision of the Board. At time of going to press, Trinity News had

yet to learn whether he intends making a statement on the matter, or was going to appeal the decision of the Board. Dr Duffy had been the subject of widespread rumour following his abrupt departure in late 2003 from his lecturing commitments on the Junior Freshman History course. With the case not yet officially closed, College are unwilling to disclose the specific nature charges admitted to by Dr Duffy, or those that were not proceeded with. Welfare officer Luke Ryder declined to comment on the matter, as the Board's decision may still be subject to an appeal. The Graduate Students’ Union has also declined to comment on the matter at least until the 17th November.

Hanafin or USI - who lied?

Toby Jones

Features Lost in the accent

Arts:10-11 Food & Drink:12-13 Listings:14 Careers:15 Science:16 Gaeilge: 24 SU & Societies:17

Imam Dr. Ali Al-Saleh catches sight of the camera at the Phil’s debate on Islamic fundamentalism.

Senior Lecturer Suspended

CollegeDigest First SU Council a “surreal” evening

College News: 1-5 News Features: 6 International Review:7 Business & Politics:8 Travel:9

one solution being considered by the Railway Procurement Agency – to push back the walls and railings of Trinity College in the Nassau Street and lower Grafton Street area.

A spokesperson for the RPA told the Irish Times that this solution would only be viable so long as the architecture of the College was not affected and they could “maintain the architectural integrity” of the listed buildings. He also confirmed that consultation with the relevant bodies and the city council would take place before any action was taken. The College authorities have told Trinity News that, having not received any notification of the proposal, they were in no position to make any statement on it.

SU President Francis Kieran, when pressed for a comment,told Trinity News that “at this stage, we

A stand-off has developed between the department of Education and the Union of Students in Ireland, with both bodies openly contradicting each other. The situation dates back to a protest held on the 11th October by USI, during which the buildings housing Fianna Fáil offices were occupied.

Education Minister Mary Hanafin commented after the protest that she had not received any request for a meeting from USI, and would have been happy to meet with representatives of USI if they had been in contact.

At USI’s National Council, however, USI President Ben Archibald contradicted this state-

ment, claiming that they had requested a meeting with the Minister. This request, USI told Union officers, was conveyed in a letter delivered to Hanafin very shortly after her appointment as Education Minister.

Trinity News have yet to receive a copy of this letter, but have been assured of its existence by the Students Union. In response to the queries of Trinity News, the Department of Education was adamant that Minister Hanafin had not misled anybody with her statement.

According to the Department, there were no requests for a meeting that had not been dealt with at the time of the protest. Trinity News also requested information on the current level

of communication between USI and the Minister was. The Department confirmed that communication had been received from USI, requesting a meeting, since minister Hamafin’s appointment, but declined to reveal when this was sent.

USI were contacted, but at time of going to press, had not yet responded officially. Mr Kiernan, SU President, stated that he had seen the letter, and would be inclined to believe what his Union said. Whether or not relations improve,between the Department and the Union, we are still no closer to finding out when this communication began, and whether USI or Minister Hanafin misled the public.

Photo: Eamon Marron

Nassau Street and traversing the grounds before emerging at Tara Street. She acknowledged that “some little disruption” would be inevitable for the college staff and students but that “the sacrifice of their cloistered peace would be mush appreciated”.The RPA, in

response to mounting speculation, has continues to insist that “everything” is being examined to improve public transport in Dublin.

“

I am the personification of ignorance

”

Fiery debate as the Phil tackle fundamentalism Susan Ryan Thursday night’s Phil debate was on a topic which has had considerable media coverage since the September 11th attacks - Islamic fundamentalism, with the motion “This House Believes That Islamic Fundamentalists Take the Prophet’s Name in Vain”. The GMB was packed to capacity and there was a fixed security presence around campus for the night.

The Phil had a fantastic line-up for the debate, which included Anjem Choudary, deputy leader of the now-defunct extremist group, Al Muhajiroun, in opposition to the motion. Al Muhajiroun were an extremist Islamic group in Great Britain who openly supported Bin Laden and disbanded last month in a bid to encourage Muslims to unite in protecting Islam, rather than dividing the issue under a multitude of banners.

The evening opened with a lecture by guest speaker, Tariq Ali, a filmmaker, author amd historian.

Mr. Ali is widely recognised as a critic of American and Israeli foreign policies. Mr. Ali firmly distanced himself at the outset from having any particular religious affiliations before discussing the politics surrounding religion. He called attention to the present climate of the USA as the only empire in existence today and how their foreign policies are a reflection of such, with the Iraq War as a prime example of such imperial conquest. He mentioned also how religion affected Bush’s victory in this week’s presidential election as Bush is identified as being deeply religious and a protector of religious values by many Americans.

After Mr. Ali’s address, Patrick Cosgrave, as President of the Phil, presented Mr. Ali with an honorary patronage of the Phil.

The main focus of the debate soon gravitated towards the very interpretation of “Islam”, as a

Continued page 2

TRINITY NEWS ONLINE www.trinity-news.com

2

Tuesday November 9, 2004

News Editor: Derek Owens

COLLEGENEWS

Trinity News Islam under scrutiny in fiery Debate Susan Ryan Continued from page 1 word, a religion and a way of life.

The proposition held that “Islam” translated into English as “peace”, but a peace through submission to God’s will. The opposition argued that this was incorrect and that “Islam” was directly translated as “Submission”. This is where the conflicting interpretations of the Koran came into play, with the opposition staunchly defending the right for vengeance using violence.

Patrick Cosgrave raised the issue of beheadings and the recent assassination of Kenneth Bigley with the very first opposition speaker, Mr. Habeb Ur Rahman, who dismissed the question stating simply that “the answer is in the Koran” and that there is no such thing as a nonpracticing Muslim. This was reiterated by the second opposition speaker, Mr. Umram Javed, who, ignoring the constant stream of questions from the floor, declared that he had no pity for anyone who put themselves into a war zone. He stated that there are no two ways about following Islam: You are a fundamentalist or you are not a Muslim, for moderation implies an imperfection in the faith.

Mr. Choudary, like the previous opposition speaker, ignored the torrent of questions from the floor and instead asked the audience to be vigilant in the information they receive through the media. He strongly suggested that it was the Russian troops at Beslan and not the Chechen Muslim captors, who

opened fire first, killing many of the children interred within.

In marked contrast, the proposition was very clear in their condemning of any kidnappings and assassinations which have occurred in Iraq. Mr. David Pidcock, leader of the Islamic Party of Britain, stated categorically that such violence is “totally unacceptable” in Islam, as it is in Christianity and Orthodox Judaism. Mr. Pidcock also stated that the answers to questions of faith are to be found in the Koran but that fundamentalism as we know it today is alien to Islam. Dr. Ali Al-Salch spoke next for the proposition and spoke of the intentions of jihad as being to support and protect the Muslim civilisation, much as any civilised country has its own army. This, for Dr. AlSalch, did not allow for women or children to be recognised as viable targets, nor did it allow the desecration of bodies or the torturing and killing of any prisoners of war. Dr. Hussein supported this by further condemning murders and also the use of suicide bombings, saying that the Prophet is an icon of mercy for leaders.

Jonathan Mac Cumháil, a student speaker for the opposition called, somewhat dramatically, for “rivers of blood” to obtain a salvation from the disease of the West.

MacCumháil, speaking after the debate, described the speech as being “a satire, but I don’t know if people realised what it was a satire on” before adding, “I am the personification of ignorance”. Asked if

he was offended at Mac Cumháil’s outrageous speech, Mr. Javed said that anybody who offends Islam, offends him.

Speaking to Trinity News after the debate, Mr. Javed acknowledged this unbridgeable gap between the interpretations of

Islam and reaffirmed that for him, “Islam means peace at times of peace and war at times of war”. He also dismissed the proposition

speakers, saying, “I don’t believe the speakers they brought in [for the proposition] were really qualified to speak”, despite Dr. Al-Salch

being the Imam (religious leader) for Dublin.

When put to the house, the motion was resoundingly carried.

Nine months on, Students’ Union firm on Coke Karl Murray Nine months since Coca Cola was officially banned from our SU shops, the Union are holding firm on the issue. Rumours on campus suggested that the SU were considering re-introducing the infamous soft drink because of a large loss of profit. SU president, Francis Kieran, has denied any such intentions saying: “The ban means that Coca Cola products cannot be sold. Obviously this will make some impact on the sales figures for minerals/soft drinks. However there are preliminary indications of a rise in sales for other soft drinks, including Pepsi, which could offset this in part.”

To the idea that someone nearly

lost their job over the issue (as several sources claimed) the SU President replied ‘this is completely ridiculous.” Kieran was unable to divulge information on accounts, arguing that more time was needed to assess the impact of banning coke. He did, however, express his confidence that “The SU Shops are not losing money, every year they make a very healthy profit and this year will be no exception.” He added “Indeed we are opening a third SU shop in the Trinity Centre in St. James' shortly.”

Some students consulted by Trinity News were concerned that the SU would re-introduce Coca Cola without their consent if profit losses were great enough. It is worth remembering though that because the ban was introduced by

a referendum, another referendum would be necessary to remove it.

Francis Kieran assured Trinity News that “Neither myself, the Sabbatical Officers nor even the SU Council would have any power to do this (re-introduce Coca Cola).

Any re-introduction of Coke would be at the discretion of the members of the SU (the students of TCD) acting through a referendum.”

We can all therefore rest assured that our Student Union do not support Coca Cola, and even if it did it wouldn’t have the power to sell it without due process of a referendum. Moreover, with an ‘ethical food and drink’ committee now a part of the Union, the matter seems unlikely to return to the agenda as in UCD. So now we can go back to enjoying vodka and cokes with a clear conscience!

You have read it Now write for it Be a part of Trinity’s Award winning Newspaper Contact our Editors to find out how to get involved Visit www.trinity-news.com

Sticking the boot in.

Photo: Ian Carey

UCD students not invited to birthday party Lincoln Steffens Thursday, November 3rd, marked the 150th anniversary of the opening of the Catholic University, which was to ultimately become University College Dublin. While UCD has celebrated in lavish style at the high end of the academic scale, with honorary degrees lavished on notables, a visit from the Taoiseach Bertie Ahern, as well as music and art being commissioned by the University.

The unveiling of a commemorative plaque by Bertie Ahern was one small part of the events that took place last week.

Indeed, at the ceremony, a new Scholarship Program, UCD 150, was announced. This program will provide grants for students who have obtained the necessary points to attend a course in UCD, but would normally decline to do so for economic reasons. The UCD150 scholarships will be awarded on a geographical basis so that every county in Ireland - north and south - will be included in the scholarship program.

Announcing the new scholarship program, Dr Brady said, "The UCD150 scholarships will be awarded to students who, through their own personal diligence and effort, successfully gain places at UCD through the CAO." He added, "Students will be invited to make written submissions to an assessment board and those who are successful will be supported by the scheme for three years."

A modern classical piece, Road of Passage, was even commissioned by UCD to commemorate the 150th anniversary. Written

by Michael McGlynn, a music graduate of UCD, the piece was directed by Desmond Early and sung by the UCD Choral Scholars at a special event organized in UCD for the occasion.

UCD also showered the great and the good with honorary degrees. Michael Flatley’s services to arts, Charlie Bird’s contribution to journalism, and Kevin Moran’s sporting achievements were rewarded with degrees. The college also awarded an honorary degree to Christina Noble, founder of the Children's Foundation, for her philanthropic work.

Undergraduate students though, seem to have been largely left out of ceremonies; indeed, UCD announced that there was no need for them to bother coming in on Thursday, cancelling all lectures on the day of the anniversary. One UCD Student, Ceri Bevin, remarked to Trinity News: “The only official notification we got was a text message sent from Bondi [a South Dublin Nightclub] telling us about a special student night being run the night before. Do they just not want anything to do with us anymore?” The effects of UCD effectively excluding its undergraduates from the birthday party, and whether their Students’ Union will complain, have yet to be learned.

Brave but Baffling - a lone protestor on College Green

Post Election Reactions in Trinity

Owen Corrigan, JS History & Political Science

Johnny Taylor, JS Music

Who would you have voted for?

Kerry.

Who would you have voted for?

Kerry

Why? Because four more years of bush is bad news for Iraqis, Palestinians, Women,Gays, Blacks, any minority you care to think of, and humanity

Why? There’s no possible way he could have been worse than Bush.

How do you feel?

Depressed of Course.

How do you feel?

Really demoralized... my faith in American people and their common sense has been really shaken.

Tuesday November 9, 2004

3

COLLEGENEWS

Trinity News

Raising funds and raising hell - TCD Med Day TCD med students, cross-dress, sing, sumo wrestle, and wax themselves for charity.

Tara O’Leary Over 350 medicine students clad in their best scrubs and white coats lined Dublin’s streets last Thursday for the third annual Trinity Med Day. This year’s beneficiaries are the intensive care unit of Tallaght hospital and Trinity Access Program’s medicine scholarship.

Activity began bright and early, with the dedicated students arriving in college at the previously unseen hour of 6:45. After a breakfast sponsored by Pfizer they hit the streets with their buckets. With students spread across the entire

Dave looses his ponytail city and surrounding suburbs and armed with balloons and stickers there was little chance of any Dubliner missing the event. One particularly merry band of collectors even took to rapping in order to catch the attention of passers-by;

“Chillin’ on the street, Collecting for the cause, The money makes a difference, So give without a pause.

The peeps in Tallaght, They do good work, But money makes the world go round, So open up your purse.”

There was an interactive Clinical Skills session held in the anatomy building throughout the morning.

120 students from fifteen local secondary schools attended the session, which was run by fourth and fifth year medicine students.

Various stations were set up where the students could learn about medically related topics ranging from blood pressure reading to keyhole surgery.

According to Chairperson of the Med Day committee, Lucy Soden, the idea of this is “to promote medicine, and to show the students that health science could be an option down the road”. These educational and community outreach aspects of the day are echoed in the fact that some of this years proceeds will once again be donated to the Trinity Access Program, who run a scholarship scheme for students from socio-economically disadvantaged backgrounds wishing to study Medicine in Trinity.

Events were held on campus throughout the day. Physics Square was host to laser tag, inflatable sumo wrestling and Gladiator games while the Luce Hall was another key location with a trampoline display and a tug-of-war.

Other events were supported by

various societies, such as the Dublin University Lawn Tennis Club’s fancy dress mixed doubles tournament, featuring a colorful array of costumes ranging from Mexicans to French maids.

Screams ran through campus as the sponsored waxing kicked off in the Pav in the late afternoon. What began as a leg wax quickly became a general waxing of various other painful body parts, much to the delight of the eager crowd. The five brave volunteers represented first to fifth year medicine students who had all raised sponsorship for the cause. For the grand finale a particularly valiant third year male med student had nine years worth of golden locks brutally shaved off.

The night’s entertainment began

McDowell and Smyth of Sinn Féin spar in chamber Wendy Williams Last Tuesday, Justice Minister Michael McDowell spoke at a debate between Sinn Fein and the Progressive Democrats. As expected, it made for an interesting meeting and the GMB Debating Chamber was full to reflect this.

For added excitement it had been rumored that several members of Labour Youth had planned a disruption but this failed to materialize. Some members of Labour were in attendence, but there was no protest or disruption of any kind. McDowell only had to contend with the debating skills of Robert Smyth, the General Secretary of Sinn Fein.

Smyth was the first to speak and he began on friendly terms stating that we have no reason to fear what Sinn Fein is or isn’t and that he wanted to “apologize on Michael’s behalf for calling people names over the past few years.” He then went on to deny that Sinn Fein are Marxist, anarchist or Trotskyites. This was a point that McDowell later disagreed with when he claimed that in fact Sinn Fein are Marxist.

After what in context seemed a gentle introduction Mr Smyth turned to business attacking the economic policies of the PD's.

He began by stating that the Irish economy must not be the cause of exploitation of anybody anywhere. He argued that the government has failed to do any cost-benefit analysis of the tax breaks introduced by Charley McCreevy and he claimed that Ireland was the best tax haven in the industrial world. His argument on behalf of Sinn Fein was that it is wrong that millionaires pay no tax while those on the minimum wage do. He raised the issue again later, asking who in our society isn’t paying tax, stating that Sinn Fein do want to raise taxes. He also stated that Sinn Fein want tax breaks for childcare, research and development, companies that recognize trade unions and are more environmentally friendly instead of tax breaks for “Mercs and villas.” In response to this point Mcdowell claimed that arguments such as “all my friends drive mercs and build houses without planning permission”

were merely designed to distract from the issue.

When Mr. Mcdowell was given his opportunity to speak he stated that in Leeds Castle, Sinn Fein had asked the Irish Government to publicly state under what conditions they would become suitable for coalition government in the Republic.

He stated that Sinn Fein had then contacted the media after this to explain their outrage that Fianna Fail had assessed their suitability in coalition government and that they would decide whether or not they would go into government with Fianna Fail.

Mr. Mcdowell quoted this as an example of how "Sinn Fein lies consistently” much to the disgust of Mr. Smyth who felt that by bringing up information that had been revealed behind closed doors Mr. Mcdowell had sunk to a "low level". Mr.

Mcdowell went on to suggest that Sinn Fein thinks that it is justifiable to lie because they are following an ideology. He followed by asking “Could our bearded Gerry be a Marxist?”

Mr Mcdowell asserted that Sinn Fein has many connections with Marxist groups and suggested that many questions should be asked about these links. He asked why Sinn Fein’s MEPs sit with Marxists in the European Parliament, continuing his argument by naming the parties in SF’s grouping in the European Parliament this was accompanied by much laughter from the audience.

He then asked whether Mr. Smyth admitted to knowing that Sinn Fein’s MEPs were linked with these Marxists, or would he

deny it, like he did with Sinn Fein’s links with Havana. He also questioned how a general secretary of a party could not know this.

Towards the end of his speech Mr. Mcdowell attacked his opponent claiming that “no one should get away with the waffle and gild of Robbie Smyth.” He claimed that he does not object to anybody being a Marxist adding “I am not a right wing ideologue, but when I see a left wing ideologue saying that he isn’t one, then I know that there’s something wrong”.

The two speakers continued to debate in a similar heated fashion that provided much entertainment for the audience.

Michael Mcdowell ended his response with a plea to the audience “Don’t leave your commonsense behind. Sinn Fein have not made the transformation to normal politics”. He added that “when they do, we will respond positively.”

To end the debate questions where taken from the floor. Mr. Smyth was asked to elaborate on Sinn Fein’s economic policies to which he emphasized how he wanted to focus on creating “Irish Intels”. He went on to say that Ireland has large Irish- owned companies that we can be proud of, citing Guinness and CRH as examples.

McDowell interrupted his answer to point out that Guinness has been owned by foreigners since the nineteenth century and that CRH has faced allegations of abusing its dominant position in the market place. There was much applause from the Progressive Democrats to his response.

The debate as expected was highly entertaining for all. From the perspective of the Progressive Democrats, they told Trinity News, the debate couldn't have gone better. While Robbie Smyth started strong, they felt that Michael McDowell was a far superior speaker than Mr Smyth and subsequently "won the debate hands down". Whilst Sinn Fein may contest the matter of who proved to be the best, at the time of print they had still yet to make comment.

with the first ever “Med Idol” in the Ed Burke theatre, with med students and staff alike performing Spice Girls, The Jackson Five and Moulin Rouge. The grand prize went to the rendition of Damian Rice’s “Cannonball”, as performed by two particularly talented students. Afterwards a reception was held in the Atrium for staff and sponsors, while the dancing continued long into the night for collectors and organizers with a well deserved party in Coyote.

The twelve-member committee, consisting of both med students and representatives from the Biological Society, have been working hard on planning this event since long before the summer. They were hugely grateful for

all the support they have received, and in particular mentioned their Staff Advisor, Professor Sheppard, who has worked tirelessly with med day committees for the past three years. The grand total raised on the day has been estimated to be an impressive €49,000, but is expected to rise as the counting of coppers, as well as corporate donations, continues, to over €55,000.

This figure, organizers told Trinity News, would be a slight improvement on last year, where just over €54,000 was raised. It would also best the results of UCD’s med day by a handsome €20,000.

Lucy Soden does battle with a first year med

Ali gets his nipples waxed all for a good cause

TECHNOLOGY & OPERATIONS

Generate

Power your career in Technology and Operations.

A sophisticated operations network and innovative technology is at the heart of our success. If you have what it takes to help us keep it that way, then we can offer you fast-track development. You’ll get all the training and support you need as well as early responsibility and opportunity to power ahead. Find out more at the Trinity College Dublin Open House:

Event Highlights: Runs over a 2 hour period, so that you can arrive and leave when you wish It’s interactive, allowing you to maximise valuable networking time A range of business and recruiting professionals will be available Refreshments will be served throughout

Date: Thursday 11th November Time: 6.00pm - 8.00pm Location: The Shelbourne Hotel, 27 St Stephen’s Green, Dublin 2 Signup: At www.db.com/careers

For details on our divisions recruiting, training programs and to apply online please visit www.db.com/careers Interviews commence in October 2004.

A Passion to Perform.

This advertisement has been approved and/or communicated by Deutsche Bank AG London. © 2004 Deutsche Bank AG

4

Tuesday November 9, 2004

News Editor: Derek Owens

COLLEGENEWS

Trinity News

Accommodations Office faces student vitriol Derek Owens A campus – wide survey on accommodation undertaken by Welfare Officer Luke Ryder, in conjunction with the Junior Common Room of Trinity Hall, has raised serious questions regarding the running of student housing by TCD, particularly in Halls. While the results of the survey have yet to be published, Mr. Ryder spoke to Trinity News about the information he has encountered so far.

Campus accommodation appears to have been viewed generally positively by former and current residents. Isolated issues such as maintenance of facilities and understaffing were mentioned by some students but, in the current climate of cutbacks all around College, Mr. Ryder argued, this was inevitable. It was on the subject of Trinity Halls that results were “illuminating to say the least.”

Just over 500 individuals connected with Halls responded to the

survey, 252 who described themselves as past residents, while 263 said that this was their first year in Halls. Student Support, particularly former Chief Warden Ms Carmel O’Sullivan, was highly praised by students who responded, while the accommodations office, according to Mr. Ryder, came off poorly. Of approximately 227 comments, he elaborated, 15 “could be reasonably construed as positive” while there were 203 complaints. There were also a number of serious allegations that he was hoping to

investigate at the earliest possible opportunity.

The other data, Ryder assured Trinity News, would be published, but would have to be sifted through further. Legal consultation would also be sought before publishing any individual comments made about Trinity Hall or the Accommodations Office. The Union were, he also added “taking our lead a certain amount from the Halls JCR” who, together with the Union, launched the survey. Ryder was asked if the negative publicity

received by the Accommodations office as a result of Ms. Sullivan’s resignation and the subsequent campaign to procure her return compromised the results. He accepted that there was a perception of a rift between Ms. O’Sullivan and the Accommodations Office, and that this atmosphere may have influenced some people, but argued that results as dramatic as the survey had gotten were surely a sign of a very real problem among students with the Office.

Mr. Tangney, the Junior Dean, praised the Accommodation Office greatly for their “tremendous success” with physical issues for Trinity, referring to the Trinity Halls project in particular as a “massive task”. He accepted however that there was a problem with the perception of the Accommodations Office among students, but expressed his optimism that the situation would improve. Tangney expressed particular hope in Graham Daniels, the new administrative officer in the

accommodation’s office described

by Tangney as “a man I could really work with”. Together, he stated, they would be able to deal with any student problems. Mr. Tangney also used the opportunity to confirm that he would that he would assume the post of Acting Warden from 15th November until the end of the academic year. He told Trinity News of his hope to resolve any issues that Halls residents had, adding that he had already met with representatives of the Halls JCR to discuss the current situation.

First SU Council a “surreal” evening * Harsh criticism of chair Andy Byrne * 16 elections punctuated by Fire Alarm Toby Jones The first SU council of the year, on Tuesday 2nd November proved eventful, with intense political correctness, sharp criticism of the Chair, Mr. Byrne, from the main body of council, no less than 16 committee elections and a fire alarm raised midway through the meeting. Proceedings began with attention being drawn to the Sign Language Interpreter, and a request that those who wished to speak do so clearly and audibly. The introduction of a sign language interpreter is for the benefit of students in attendance with a hearing disability, and will, Mr. Mac Síthigh assured Trinity News, be a regular fixture at SU council. A more ominous sign for the evening, however, was the difficulty early on in finding two substitute members to serve on the electoral commission for the evening. Only after pleading from the rostrum several times was the Chair, Mr. Andy Bryne, able to find two individuals with no intention of standing for elections that evening.

The elections then began in earnest, with positions filled for assistant faculty conveners, and a reminder midway through the elections that fines would be imposed for bad language used by any member during council. The threat of fines could not, however, stifle the muttered obscenities, as well as a general groan of dismay in council, when a further 16 committee elections on the agenda were revealed.

The elections were punctuated however by an early officer report from Welfare Officer Luke Ryder, a welcome from Ms Cecily Begley, head of the Nursing School, and a fire alarm accidentally raised by a class rep on his way out of the building. There was also, towards the end of elections, an objection raised to Chair Andy Byrne’s method of conducting the elections themselves. In elections for a number of committees, Mr. Byrne had been reminding council when they had reached what he termed “the magic number”. This was the point at which the number of nominations for a committee matched the number of places available. Any further nominations would call for an election to be contested for

membership of the committee.

One class rep raised an objection to this practice, claiming it discouraged people from standing for committees, to thunderous applause from the floor. Mr. Byrne, taken aback apologised for any offence he had caused and stated that that discouraging candidates was not his intention, but to “make the meeting go smoothly”. The grilling from the floor continued however, with one class rep demanding to know why two committees had been axed from the elections. Told by Mr. Mac Síthig that these committees no longer existed, the individual then asked why nobody had been informed of the restructuring. The answer, he was told, was that there was no time to do so: The decision had only been taken two hours before council met.

Business moved on to the 10K walk for Chernobyl, as Council members watched a video on the subject and implored to participate by Ruth Ní Eidhin, Deputy President. This was followed by two resolutions by council, giving the Welfare Officer a mandate to begin a working rights awareness

The Midwifery Department in the old Gas building on D’olier Street was the home of the first SU council of the year. campaign, and re-instating the Vice President of the Graduate Student’s Union to the Education Committee.

The remaining sabbatical officers then made their reports briefly, with no major revelations, heckling, or alarms. Chair Andy Byrne took the rostrum again, asking if anyone would like to make further comment on the meeting. In response to one member, who asked if “We’ll have somebody nicer chairing next time”, Mr. Byrne vigorously asserted his niceness to council, but pledged to “try

and make an effort to be more cheery, if that’s really what you want”. He was adamant, however, that his primary job was to make the meeting run smoothly, and on that note he congratulated council for navigating through the first session, and adjourned the meeting..

Class Reps commented to Trinity News about the length of the meeting, what some termed as an ‘excessive’ number of committees, with one Rep describing the whole experience as “surreal”. this Rep also passed comment on the “anal-

retentiveness” shown by several members of council, as well as questioning whether 16 committees were really neccessary in a college already overburdened with a labyrinthine bureaucracy.

Another class rep who joined “at least two, probably three” committees, simply said to Trinity News that “I’m not interested in all this careerist b*******, I just want to get things done”.

Getting things done, Education officer Daithí Mac Síthigh declared, was precisely the point of

the plethora of committees. He argued that most of the committees would bring more people into the active work of the Union, as well as increasing Rep’s share in the practical decision making process. He admitted however that certain committees, that meet only once or twice a year, are anachronistic. He stressed that the current committee set-up is still undergoing restructuring, but was confident that the large number of committees would help, not hinder, students.

Union plan 10K fundraising Blitz Deputy President Ruth Ní Eidhin wants Trinity Students to ‘skip a pint’ If the 15,000 students in Trinity that to pay a nurse trained to look

Ní Eidhin with Alicia, a child affected by Chernobyl

Union Deputy President, Ruth Ni Eidhin, is launching a major Campaign to increase the contribution from Trinity College students to this years’ 10K walk for postChernobyl Belarus. The walk, despite being arguably the largest college charity event in the country, attracts modest attention from Trinity College students. Last year, a total of €10,000 was raised, representing a contribution of less than €1 per student. this is, Ms Ní Eidhin has told Trinity News a figure she is determined to improve upon. Freely admitting an intense personal interest in the event, she was adamant that “the most important thing is just to get people to do this walk. From an average person who participates, and that’s at the low end of the scale, we get €25.

took part in the walk… I mean, if just the Freshers did the walk, it would be amazing”. Such a situation was unlikely, Ni Eidhin stated, and told Trinity News of a number of plans to supplement the main event of a sponsored walk.

One of the initiatives proposed is a campaign calling for students to ‘skip a pint’ in the run-up to the walk. “We can all go without one pint in the night,” Ní Eidhin argued: “If it’s the third or fourth, the pint that gets you from ‘getting drunk’ to just plain drunk, or the €10 you always have missing at the end of the night because you bought yourself two drinks you don’t even need, it’s no huge loss.

And if everybody gave that money to the 10K...”

Ms. Ní Eidhin then explained

after children affected by the Chernobyl disaster for a month would cost €70. Thus, in the utopean situation of every Trinity Student sacrificing the price of a pint, she enthused, 83 nurses could be provided for a year.

This level of participation would obviously be ideal, but could not possibly be expected. As Ní Eidhin says, “you want everybody to understand how important it is, but it’s impossible to make them”. By a veritable onslaught of lecture addresses, contacting every society in college to encourage their participation, and drawing maximum attention to the website, 10kwalk.com, The SU seems determined to try.

Apathy triumphs in Class Rep Elections Niamh Fleming Farrell Elections for Class Reps took place on Wednesday and Thursday the 27th and 28th October. The number of Reps sought was increased this year from 150 to 200 on the initiative of SU Educational Officer Daithi McSíthigh, who hoped to enhance the representation and participation of smaller classes on SU Council.

Class reps are described on the SU website as the “most important part of the Student’s Union jigsaw”, and Trinity has more Reps than any other Union in the country. The duties of this important element of the SU include serving as a link between the SU and its members (the student body), representing students on faculty and

departmental committees, participating in council meetings thus guiding the sabbatical officers, dealing with the smaller queries of individual class members as well as arranging social events and class parties.

However despite successful and well-fought election campaigns within some courses there were numerous Reps elected uncontested and there remains many unfilled Class Rep positions. The election count results posted on the SU website indicate that in less than twenty classes there was an actual competition for Class Rep. Indifference to representation seems rife in light of these most recent elections.

Mr. Mac Sithig strongly urged that people look at the SU website and identify their class rep or lack thereof. He is eager that class reps do their jobs effectively and there-

fore welcomes anyone without a Class Rep or with difficulties with their current Class Rep to discuss the matter with him.

The unfilled positions are mainly in small science courses and TSM subjects. The absence of candidates coming forward in these classes may well be due to lack of time in science and a lack of class cohesion in TSM courses.

Whatever the reasoning behind the failure of some classes to appoint a Class Rep, Mac Sithigh stressed the importance that each class, if not each year, has an active voice in the SU. People interested in filling a class rep position, he advised, can pick up a form at the SU Shop. They can put forward their names and have the nomination seconded by another member of their class. Then this form is returned to the officer of the educa-

tion Office on the 1st floor of House Six. Each Class Rep is individually responsible for informing their class of their appointment to the position and must attend council meetings throughout the year.

Students approached by Trinity News did not seem enthralled at the prospect of this responsibility. One individual, a senior Freshman Science student, remaked that he simply did not “have the time to burn”, pointing out that his degree and social life are more important to him than the Union. Anothers tudent, Junior Sophister in Philosophy, was asked if he would be interested in union participation, but retorted: “I do philosphy - do I look like I’m planning my career?”

One individual, a Senior Freshman History Student, expressed an interest in working within the

Union to Trinity News, but stated that she “just hadn’t gotten round to” nominating herself. Trinity News accomponied her as she investigated the website, only to find that the position for her class had been filled. Asked if she would stand for election next year, she replyed: “Maybe - hopefully this time I’ll remember” According to the SU website all Class Reps will be provided with a day long training session, hopefully this will serve to encourage Class Reps to highlight their own roles and make better use of their positions. However, it seems that the SU may well have to undertake its own campaign to highlight the role of Class Reps if ever there is to be full and active participation across all classes in the SU.

The Trinity round of the Irish texting championships

Post Election Reactions

Gemma McGill, SF Classics & Drama

Katherine Graham, SF Drama & Irish

Who would you have voted for?

Kerry

Who would you have voted for?

Kerry

Why? He’s not Bush! And he’s able to admit when he’s been wrong, Bush hasn’t... just everything really!

Why? Well, you were going to vote for Bush, of against Bush. I hate Bush.

How do you feel?

Like we’re f****d for the next four years.

How do you feel?

I think everyone is depressed.

6

Tuesday November 9, 2004

News Feature Editor: Anne-Marie Ryan

Trinity News Massive health science reforms in the pipeline

NEWSFEATURE

Trinity’s Faculty of Health Sciences is undergoing major curriculum changes, and readying for significant expansion to coincide with the Department’s tercentenary in 2011.

Greg Smith Curriculum In order to comply with European initiatives and the archaic reasons for maintaining the present six-year degree, Trinity's undergraduate medical curriculum is being shortened from six to five years.

The institution of a shorter program of study began this year. To facilitate the transition to a five-year degree, quotas for both EU and non-EU students were lowered. The college accepted roughly 20 less applicants than in prior years.

Additionally, in early October, a psychometric test was voluntarily sat by EU students who had accepted placement. Students who placed well on the test were allowed to advance directly into second-year medicine. According to Dean Shanley, 21 students have entered second year, cutting the number of EU students in first-year medicine nearly in half.

For those students who faired worse on the psychometric tests, Dean Shanley offered some practical consolation for their extra year of study: “The transitional basis was needed to fill internship positions” at placement hospitals St James and Adelaide, Meath and National Children’s Hospital (AMNCH).

Consideration was also given to keeping stable the numbers of graduates – without a transitional year, two sets of students would graduate at the same time.

Many Non-EU students enter directly into second-year medicine – a result of prior thirdlevel education. For those who do not, such as Norwegian fourth-year medicine student Marie Oppeboen, the reason for not offering the option of testbased second-year placement this year is clear: According to Dean Shanley “medical education in Ireland is seriously under funded.” Tuition for Non-EU students is over €22,000. Half of students entering into medicine at Trinity are from outside of the EU and the tuition that they pay is actively sought by the Department.

The decision to transition to a five-year curriculum is the result of two reasons – one historical, and the other contemporary. Presently, the first year of study in medicine at Trinity has little to do with the practice of medicine. It is a premedical year

which, according to the Health Sciences website, “provides teaching in the basic sciences.”

First-year students are instructed in chemistry, biology, physics and other general areas of scientific study. Originally, the premedical year was designed to compensate for a perceived deficiency between the Irish Leaving Certificate and its British counterpart, the A-Level system. It was generally considered that subjects pertinent to medicine were more comprehensively covered in the British system, and a compensatory year was introduced at Trinity. Diarmuid Shanley, the Dean of Health Sciences, cheerfully notes that British perception of the Leaving Certificate has since changed and “now more weighting is given to the Leaving Cert”.

The irrelevancy of the historical basis for a premedical year is

* adopt a system of easily readable and comparable degrees; * adopt a system with two main cycles (undergraduate/graduate); * establish a system of credits; * promote mobility by overcoming obstacles; * promote European cooperation in quality assurance; and *promote European dimensions in higher education. compounded by European education initiatives. In 1999, in Bologna, Italy, European Ministers of Education signed a Declaration on Establishing a European Area of Education. The Ministers expressed the intention to: Government agreement to the Bologna Declaration (which applies to many disciplines) affected the decision to alter Trinity’s medical curriculum.

According to Dean Shanley, “in Europe, Medicine is a five-year program”. One of the goals of the Declaration is the ease of European wide study for students. Ensuring that medical students from countries participating in the Declaration are enrolled in programs of the same length and receive instruction that is transnationally comparable more easily enables this goal.

Though he expressed concern about the quality of study in

some countries recently inducted into the EU, Dean Shanley maintained that many of the changes place a “greater emphasis on competence and competence assessment.” He also noted that the process was voluntary and that, in line with the principle of subsidiarity, the method chosen to realize the goals of the Declaration remained the choice of each participant state.

Even without complete harmonization of European curriculums, agreement to the Declaration will bring further changes to many courses offered at Trinity, including medicine.

The adoption of two cycles of study, undergraduate and graduate, is directly relevant to disciplines with long courses of study,

such as medicine. The decision has been made to allow students with undergraduate degrees to enter medicine at Trinity. Though Dean Shanley insists that “there is no objective evidence to say that someone with a graduate degree makes a better doctor”, former Education Minister Noel Dempsey expressed concern with the high number of Leaving Cert points required for entry into medicine. Minister Dempsey articulated an intention to introduce “a new approach to entry to medical education in Ireland, involving a mix of graduate and under-graduate entry streams.” It is expected that students entering medicine with a prior degree will embark on a shorter course of study.

Tercentenary Plans If the Department of Health Sciences’ desires are realized, future medicine students will enjoy the use of new facilities during their five-year course of study. The Department is celebrating its tercentenary in 2011.

To celebrate 300 years of medicine at Trinity, Dean Shanley hopes to ensure “the development of life sciences and health sciences at the east end of campus.” Departmental focus has been directed to the construction of a new building and the possible refurbishment of old buildings to house new amenities for students in Health, and Life, Sciences, in celebration of the anniversary. The plans include (a full list can be viewed at the

Department’s website):

* a new student centre; * a new educational centre; * a new information and communications technology centre; * a new School of Clinical Speech and Language Studies; and * an alumni centre.

Though Dean Shanley would prefer “a definite presence on [the main] campus of Health Sciences”, which currently occupies three locations, the main campus, St. James Hospital and AMNCH, discussions have also considered using land known as the “An Post” site, at Westland Row and Pearse

Street.

Wherever, or whether the new building is materialized, it is certain that many changes lie ahead for the Department of Health Sciences. Already this year, the Department unveiled a new School of Nursing and Midwifery, housed in an Art Deco building on D’Olier Street that was previously occupied

by Bord Gais. Whether the impending future changes to curriculum, or the tercentenary building plans are viewed as positive will depend on their implementation and on the assessor’s perspective. However, recent changes have been met with favor by some. When asked whether she thought the premedical year was worth completing, Ms. Oppeboen replied, “not at all.”

POLITICAL PARTIES:

STUDENT MEMBERSHIP CONTRADICTS NATIONAL TRENDS

In the second part of our investigation into the state of political participation amongst students. This week we feature Sinn Féin and the Greens.

Trinity Green Party Paul McGartoll Although membership figures have fallen slightly this year, Maeve Bateman is quick to point out that the last few years have seen a huge growth of the Green Party in Trinity. “When I joined in first year there were only 70 members, now we have 170” says Bateman, the party’s chairperson. Trinity has the largest Green party of any University in Ireland.

Bateman cites many reasons why Trinity students join her party, with the environment and isillusionment with the established parties being especially significant. She is proud that the Greens are a modern and different political organisation: “ We don’t have a political legacy like FF and FG, people vote Green not because

their parents did but because they believe in what we stand for.”

Trinity Greens meet every Tuesday, where they plan events, discuss policy issues and “whatever else people want to talk about”.

This is not the only platform where the Greens can express themselves, Bateman is proud to

say that they are also directly affiliated with the national party: “We have voting rights at the National Convention and send a representative to National Council.”

After the success of their campaign to stop the use of polystyrene cups in Trinity catering, the Greens are now concentrating on, among other things, the legislation of same-sex marriages: “We will be hosting a debate on the issue and hope to have a stand with a petition in the arts block.”

Bateman vehemently denies FF allegations that the Greens are an indecisive party out to make everyone happy. She is defiant in expressing the ethos of her party: “The Greens have an ideology based on the principles of sustainability and equality and strong positions on issues from healthcare to planning to the economy. We won’t compromise on what we stand for in relation to policy issues.” This is, she says, is completely at odds with FF’s pragmatic politics that tries, but fails, to keep ,everyone happy.

Trinity Sinn Féin Anne-Marie Ryan The chairperson of Trinity Sinn Féin, Seán Mac an tSionnaigh said that this year had seen membership of Sinn Féin in Trinity neither increase nor decrease, with last year’s figure of 68 members remaining the approximate total of this year’s.

Mac an tSionnaigh cited national unity and a desire to end what he termed ‘British Imperialism’ as the main reason Trinity students join Sinn Féin. Those who join Sinn Féin in Trinity see the party as being “more in touch with social issues than Labour”.

Sinn Féin in Trinity are very much linked to the national party and represent an official cumann. They send representatives to the Ard Fheis and have three votes in the national

party.

Last year, Trinity Sinn Féin helped out in Mary Lou McDonald’s successful European election campaign, and canvassed in both the local and assembly elections, with the national party providing funding for them to go to Northern Ireland.

Most of their funding comes from the national party – Mac an tSionnaigh complained about the amount of red tape encountered when seeking funding from CSC. He also bemoaned the prejudice against Sinn Féin in Trinity in particular, and said there is “definitely not as much support in Trinity as there would be nationally”. He said there is no middle ground: “They (Trinity students) will like you and join or else absolutely hate you”, he said.

He told of how during Freshers

week many students had come up to their stand and accused those manning the stands of being fascists, a title which Mac an tSionnaigh rejects outright. He reckons the prejudice against Sinn Féin is worse in Trinity than in other colleges, although similar difficulties have been encountered in UCD. Mac an tSionnaigh says Trinity SF is quite an active society, with well-attended debates on socialist issues taking place throughout the year Many of those in attendance are not part of Sinn Féin.

Mac an tSionnaigh also outlined the policies of Sinn Féin in relation to student issues. They oppose the reintroduction of student fees and the privatisation of colleges, and call for more emphasis on access education.

With 5 T.D.s sitting in Dáil Éireann,

Sinn Féin represents 3% of the total number of deputies.

However, having attracted a membership of 68 in Trinity last year, Sinn Féin represents 11% of the total number of students who are members of political parties.

International Review Editor: Karina Finegan Alves

Trinity News

Tuesday November 9, 2004

INTERNATIONAL REVIEW

Bush won, so what?

Robert Lamontagne discusses Bush’s victory and consequent implications for America and the world George Bush’s re-election means more of the same. A president who cannot think of a single mistake he’s made is very unlikely to suddenly change his policies. We should expect four more years of what John Kerry called ‘the most reckless, inept, arrogant, and ideological foreign policy’ in US history.

The war in Iraq will continue, with steadily rising casualties on all sides. The medical journal The Lancet recently published a study showing 100,000 ‘excess deaths’, most of them women and children, among Iraqi civilians since the US invasion in March 2003. American troops have already suffered

apart.

A draft may be necessary to fight one or two more wars. Bush will continue to pursue a belligerent line with Iran and Syria in the next term. He will take steps to ensure that Iran does not acquire nuclear weapons, and that Syria fits more neatly into the administration vision for the Middle East. What these steps would be – diplomatic measures, military raids, air strikes, or even invasion – is unknowable.

The 18,000 US troops in Afghanistan will continue operations against what is left of the Taliban and al-Qaeda, in pursuit of Osama bin Laden. Bush will con-

‘The war in Iraq will continue, with steadily rising casualties on all sides. The medical journal ‘The Lancet’ recently published a study showing 100,000 ‘excess deaths’, most of them women and children, among Iraqi civilians since the US invasion in March 2003’ around 1200 dead with another 20,000 wounded.

In the short term, US troops will go on an offensive to eliminate insurgent areas before the election of a provisional Iraqi assembly early next year. In the longer term, however, problems will multiply for the Americans. At some point they will be practically alone in Iraq unless Bush can make genuine (and highly unlikely) concessions to the United Nations to internationalise the occupation – and unless Iraqis can create a legitimate, democratic government strong enough to fight Islamic extremists. Civil war in Iraq is a very real possibiliy.

But Americans may not wait that

tinue to support brutal dictatorships in Uzbekistan and Turkmenistan, and other dubious regimes in central Asia, particularly Pakistan’s quasi-dictatorship.

Bush’s neoliberal economic policies will continue to contribute to increasing inequality and instability around the world; and his environmental policies will continue to contribute to global climate change – which the President will continue to call ‘junk science’.

In Europe, Bush’s victory strengthens British Prime Minister Tony Blair: Labour Party backbenchers would have seen a Kerry victory as a repudiation of the Iraq war by American voters, increasing pressure on Blair to step down.

European anti-war leaders can breathe a sigh of relief long. A Harris poll in midSeptember showed 54% of Americans want troops home next year, and the number will rise with American casualties. The reintroduction of the military draft, which is incresingly likely as the situation worsens, would rip the country

A Bush defeat would have isolated Blair as the only North Atlantic leader who supported the war, to remain in power.

Across the rest of Europe, the effects of a second Bush term are mixed. Economically, countries like France and Germany will suf-

fer, as a cheaper dollar lowers the price of US goods in Europe and raises the price of European goods in America. Ireland however, with its many American multinationals, will gain economically from the Bush win, as Kerry would have created incentives for US companies to create more jobs at home.

Politically, European anti-war leaders can breathe a sigh of relief.

French President Jacques Chirac and German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder gain domestic political support with a hard line against Bush’s foreign policy. A Kerry win would have put them in the awkward position of rejecting a multilateralist Europhile US president’s requests for troops to internationalise the occupation of Iraq.

Another four years of Bush will be bad for the world, but a disaster for the United States, and just how much of a disaster will be partly decided in the next few months as the President embarks on the customary Cabinet reshuffle between terms.

It is widely thought that Secretary of State Colin Powell will leave early next year. If so, National Security Adviser Condoleeza Rice is the most likely replacement. Rice is well known for her comment after invasion of Iraq that US diplomatic strategy would be to ‘punish France, and ignore Germany.’

Rumours have it that Attorney General John Ashcroft will resign in the next two weeks. Extremely unpopular across the country, but very popular with Bush’s religious-right constituency, Ashcroft could be replaced by former prosecutor and New York mayor Rudy Giuliani, who is himself considering a presidential run in 2008.

Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld is one Cabinet member almost sure to go in the reshuffle.

The military despises him even more than the electorate. His ‘war on the cheap’ brand of neoconservatism is discredited, and a figure more amenable to the military is needed.

The Cabinet reshuffle offers Bush the chance to follow through on his rhetoric of being ‘a uniter, not a divider’, and a ‘president for all the people’, by choosing moderates to fill vacant portfolios.

Based on past experience however, the President will move further to the right. The President has already set several priorities for the new year.

In education, Bush’s bipartisan initiative, the ‘No Child Left Behind Act’ continues to suffer as he underfunded the bill by $26 billion. The president will oppose funding underfunded public schools in favour of voucher programs, which pay part of the cost for students to attend private (most religiously run) schools.

Bush will act as if the federal retirement program, Social

Security, is about to fail and can only be saved by massive reforms.

Although the federal Congressional Budget Office says the program is solvent until 2052, the administration may be able to privatise the program, and gradually force individuals to invest their money in the stock market. Most economists claim this would effectively destroy retirement.

Bush will pursue ‘tax-code simplification’. A major Republican

policies. In his first four years, Bush turned a projected ten-year budget surplus of $5 trillion into a $5 trillion deficit.

He has increased federal debt by $1.7 trillion, or 30%. Each year’s budget deficit has been bigger than the last; this year’s will be above $400b. The administration’s first spending request of the new year will be for a $70b military-appropriations bill for Iraq and Afghanistan, bringing total spend-

have cost a sixth of that amount.

However, standards of living are dropping. 65% of the Bush tax cuts went to the richest twenty percent of the population, the people that needed it least. The median US family has, on average, seen a total tax cut of $620 in three years – while their combined wages have dropped by $1,500. Pressure on wages is high because the economy is not creating enough jobs: during Bush’s first term, there

issue, it’s also a codeword for Congressional Republicans to splurge on giveaways. One such simple measure from last October turned into what The Economist magazine called ‘a 650-page horror that adds endless complexities to the tax code.’ With a more rightwing Congress, ‘tax-code simplification’ like this will only worsen.

Voters in eleven states also voted on referenda to ban same-sex marriage. Each referendum passed, creating further momentum in a more rightwing Congress to send a Constitutional amendment banning gay marriage to the states for ratification. Bush will continue to court fiscal crisis in his economic

ing on the two wars to roughly $250billion.

Bush will seek to make his multibillion-dollar tax cuts permanent, while increasing spending.

This will cause yearly deficits of up to $450billion for the foreseeable future. However, many Republicans support a national sales tax of 23% to replace all other taxes; popular with large sections of Republican opinion, Bush would perhaps oppose it because it could not support next year’s $600billion military yearly budget.

He is the only president in memory not to veto a single spending bill. His party’s government health care prescription drug plan will cost $576bilion – when it could

were only four months of actual job growth. But these are relatively short-term consequences for the United States. The long-term consequences are enormous.

A group of ideological zealots taking over the government is the nightmare scenario the founders of the Republic had in mind in designing the system of ‘checks and balances’ that has now broken down. Each branch of American government – legislative (Congress), executive (the President and federal institutions), and judicial (the courts, but especially the Supreme Court) – works against the other, preventing power from being too concentrated.

But the rightwing has won sig-

Chinese media silent over ethnic clashes Mary Fuchs Recent riots in the Henan region of China were diffused after thousands of officers from the People’s Armed Police force were called in to enforce martial law. Seven people were killed and 42 injured.

Police are still patrolling villages, only allowing residents to leave in emergencies, even though martial law was lifted last Monday.

‘...the Chinese gov-

ernment tends to censor information about its rural poor’ Locals say violence started between the Muslim Hui and Chinese Han in the area because of a traffic accident between the Hui minority and Han majority in the farming villages surrounding Langchenggang. Nearly 5,000 are thought to have been involved in the fray, brandishing clubs and burning houses.

Accounts of what initially caused the violence are sketchy at best.

Some sources claim that a 6-year old Han girl was fatally hit by a

Hui taxi driver and that fighting started after relatives came to demand reparation. Others say it began after three Hui men in a car beat up a 17-year-old Han boy who blocked the street. A spokesman for the Chinese government gave a different account, stating that there was a collision between two farm vehicles, one driven by a Han and the other by a Hui. Western news agencies disagree over the number of dead in what has been perhaps the largest sustained ethnic clash in China for years or rather the largest with media coverage as the Chinese government tends to censor information about its rural poor. The state-run New China News Agency or Xinhua News Agency does little to inform the public. In an official statement released Monday they reported seven dead, but did not include the numbers of injured, concluding only that the situation was "now under control."

The Chinese government is remaining silent as are its country bureaucrats, they refuse to comment and officials are said to have instructed them not to give information to reporters.

Conflicts between Hui Muslims and majority Han have been a reality in China for centuries however they have recently increased in

7

severity as the state loosens its grip over ethnic groups in rural areas like Henan. Muslim Hui are ethnic Chinese who converted to Islam generations ago, and despite religious differences they largely resemble the Han, who make up about 93 percent of the population.

The Han criticize the Hui for not integrating themselves properly into Chinese culture. In rural areas like Langchenggang the Han and Hui bicker constantly over farmland and control of valuable government posts. There have been other such clashes, for example in December 2000, at least five Hui were shot and killed by police during protests in the eastern province of Shandong after a dispute over a

Han butcher advertising "Muslim pork.”

As Westerners we tend to envision religious differences in terms of East and West, Islam and Christianity, dichotomies we see as a thousand miles apart. Perhaps what is most jarring about this episode is its anonymity and its proximity – how many people died? Injured? And what is the government really doing to stop further violence between Han and Hui? How often does violence like this occur in China or in other parts of the world with no one to record it or ask the questions that need to be answered?

The Hui: minority Chinese ethnic group

nificant majorities in both houses of Congress, and secured the presidency for another four years. And the Supreme Court has not had a new justice appointed in 10 years – the longest such period since 1823.

With only one justice under the age of 65, and several justices ill, Bush will be able to appoint between one and four justices to the court, and dozens to federal circuit courts. There is currently a 5-4 moderate majority on the Court.

In the next four years, the Republicans may be able to overturn Roe v. Wade, the Supreme Court finding legalizing abortion.

The Republicans would be able to pass federal laws banning the practice; in five years’ time, the FBI might be hunting down abortionists and charging women who take the morning-after pill with firstdegree murder.

This is just one issue. Americans could soon lose affirmative action, the right to due process or a jury trial, the right to sue for medical malpractice or civil damages, the right to reasonably regulate business in law – a whole rightwing wish list could now come true.

The laws with a rightwing Supreme Court would increasingly reflect two principles: 1) that rights and opportunities are proportional to how much money you have, and 2) the State knows best.

The second principle already has a good start. Under the infamous Patriot Act, the federal government arrested 1200 non-US nationals – while keeping their names, charges against them, and trials secret. The government also conducts ‘voluntary’ interviews of men from Arab countries between the ages of 16 and 45, which include their being photographed, fingerprinted, and questioned under oath without access to lawyers. Many of the Patriot Act’s powers, including the government’s power to make secret searches of citizens’ homes, expire in 2005. The administration will lobby to make them permanent.

The administration’s Domestic Security Enhancement Act (‘Patriot II’) would have vastly expanded government powers, and focused that power on US citizens.

New powers included legalization of secret arrests and deportation, databases of information collected on Americans accused of the nebulous crime of ‘supporting terrorism’, abolishing bail for all such suspects, even allowing American citizens to be stripped of their citizenship and deported. Linked to the act was Total Information Awareness, the administration’s plan to trawl the internet for information on citizens with the aim of setting up electronic government databases, may make a return. All these provisions were politically impossible in the first term; now they will become a long-term priority.

US election low-down Robert Lamontagne Turnout was 120 million, including 6m absentee and ‘provisional’ ballots for newly registered voters. At 60%, the turnout was the highest in a US election since 1968.

In the race for the presidency, George Bush won 59m votes for 51% of the popular vote, to John Kerry’s 55.5m or 48%. The gap was clearer in the infamous Electoral College, where Bush won election with 286 votes, surpassing the 270 vote quota.

Bush held every state he had won in 2000 but one – small New Hampshire, adjacent to Kerry’s home state of Massachusetts – and took New Mexico and Iowa from the Democrats.

Thirty-four Senate seats were up for election last week. The Democrats were at a disadvantage as the nine competitive races were in ‘red’ states that had voted for Bush in 2000, and the result was much worse than they expected.

The Republicans increased their majority by 4 seats to 55, while the Democrats lost 4 seats to 44. (One independent from Vermont caucuses with the Democrats.)

Before the poll, Democrats thought they had a ’50-50 chance’ of taking control of the upper

house from the Republicans.

Instead, the Republicans wrested six Democratic seats, five of them in the South, including one in Louisiana that had never before gone Republican.

The sixth Democrat to fall to the Republicans was the opposition leader, Tom Daschle, who lost his seat by only 4,500 votes and became the first Senate party leader to lose his seat since 1952.

There was some good news for

‘At 60%, the turnout was the highest in a US election since 1968’ the Democrats. In Illinois, rising star Barack Obama won his race by more than 40 points to replace a retiring Republican. And in Colorado, state Attorney General Ken Salazar narrowly defeated beer magnate Pete Coors to replace another retiring Republican in a state that Bush won by 7 points.

The Democrats also denied Republicans the sixty seats necessary to defeat any parliamentary delay, or ‘filibuster’ – something Senate Democrats may need against the administration’s judicial appointees.

In an unsurprising result, the

Republicans increased their majority in the House of Representatives by 5 seats, whereas the Democrats saw a net loss of 3 seats leaving them 232 and 202 seats respectively.

The election trends revealed much about the kind of voters each candidate counted on. Kerry won 81% of voters who saw the sluggish economy as their main concern. In contrast, Bush won 80% of voters whose main concern was the ‘moral values’ of each candidate. The gap was even clearer on Iraq: 85% of those who approved of the war supported Bush; 87% of those who disapproved voted for Kerry.

The Democrats relied increasingly on blacks and moderate voters. 89% of black voters supported Kerry, more than doubling their share of the national vote since 2000 to 13%. Moderates doubled their share of the Democratic vote between 2000 and 2004, to 15%.

Worryingly for the Democrats, Latinos increased their support for Bush to 42% (although Kerry still won Latinos by 15 points), and although Kerry had a similar share of the vote of 18-29 year olds, they did not turn out in sufficient numbers to change the result.

BUSINESS&POLITICS 8

Tuesday November 9, 2004

The US House of Senate: Who sides with whom?

The US elections are now officially over, the results are in, and President Bush II remains in power. But, as we’re sure you’ve already read all about that everywhere, Hugh Roche Kelly is examining the American Senate, representatives of which were also elected last week. Are American civil rights, which watchdog groups claim have already been eroded in Bush’s first term, in danger of being chipped away altogether? What does it mean for a secular country to have a president who claims inspiration from God and a Senate largely influenced by Christian fundamentalists? Is America becoming a theocracy? For the answers to all these questions and more, read on...

Anyone else sick to death of this over-hyped election that was, in the media’s world, “too close to call,” “the tightest and most divisive election in American history? Anyone else totally unsurprised at the result, which was a foregone conclusion long before JF Kerry stuck his floppy hat in the ring? Well, even if you’re not, you won’t read anything about Tuesday’s American presidential election here. Nothing. But the oval office wasn’t the only issue put to American voters last Tuesday, the entire House of Representatives, all 435 seats, were up for grabs, and 34 seats of the 100 seat senate. There were votes on a proposal to ban gay marriages in eleven states. These facts came as a surprise to me an Monday night, when they were

Republicans and their supporters acting as a single ideological unit, almost entirely united with conservative, Christian values, versus a diverse group of people defined not by membership or voting for the Democrats, but of not voting Republican. mentioned in passing on one of many identikit news bulletins, mere distractions from the main business of hype and polemic that enraptured so many.

So how did these votes pan out?

Were there surprises? Who gained? Who lost? Who gets to have a House party? Who gets to sit in the kitchen drinking dregs

of wine bottles and rusting cans of Dutch Gold? Republicans now have 230 House seats versus Democrats’ 200, but figures like that don’t tell the full story. The America that the House and Senate elections have shaped is indeed divided, but it is far from a simple, two-way split. It basically adds up to Republicans and their supporters acting as a single ideological unit, almost entirely united with conservative, Christian values, versus a diverse group of people defined not by membership or voting for the Democrats, but of not voting Republican. With regard to the share of the vote, it remains a close call, with Republicans usually being within half a percentage point of losing their outright majority. Looking at a figure like that, one would think that even a small change in support would result in a Republican representative being toppled from power, but that is not the case. There may only be two main parties that function in the USA, but there is a growing minority of voters who will not vote for either of them. Republicans are easy to hate, simply because they make it clear what their actual policies are. They are united on so many issues: terror, economy, abortion, etc, that their support remains strong. Democrats, on the other hand, are divided on so many issues: in fact they can’t agree on a strong party line on anything. The most divisive issues of the day, security, abortion, gay rights… the only thing the party agrees on is that they don’t like The Other Guy. Even if the House of Representatives was split exactly 50-50, with 217 seats for each party, and one

John Thune, left, and Tom Daschle, right. actual independent candidate making up the 435, the Republican party’s agenda would get voted through every time.

They sit, act and vote, in the vast majority of cases, as a cohesive unit. That is something the Democrats just don’t have in

South Dakota after having served as a Senator for 18 years.

This was more than a statistic of loss, but it beheads the Democrats in the Senate of one of the few people who could speak for the majority of Democrats, one of the few unify-

There may only be two main parties that function in the USA, but there is a growing minority of voters who will not vote for either of them. Republicans are easy to hate, simply because they make it clear what their actual policies are. their current generation. And even if Republican unity started to fade, with a 30-seat advantage over the democrats, they can afford a few breaks in the ranks.

These elections have added to Democrat’s difficulty in the Senate. The party’s Senate leader, Tom Daschle, lost his seat in

ing forces they had been fortunate to have. Who replaces him?

John Thune, a Republican with strong support from Christian Conservatives. The campaign for this election was symptomatic of the nationwide campaigns. The parties realised that, like the Monty Python song, every vote is

sacred and spent hugely disproportionate amounts on their election. Between them, Thune and Daschle spent $30,000,000 on only 750,000 voters. The switch to Christian Conservatism is also a move seen across the USA, as can be seen by the huge support found for the legislative ban on gay marriages in eleven states: Arkansas, Georgia, Mississippi, Montana, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Ohio, Utah and Oregon. In six of these states the amendment was brought to the voters by a public petition started by church action groups. And how was support rustled up?

Through leaflets distributed to over 7000 churches. In North Dakota, even the Amish community came out in wide numbers to vote into legislation a denial of civil rights to a minority community. Gay-rights campaigners insist the Amendments are unlawful, and hope that the Supreme Court follows the example of Massachusetts in allowing same-sex marriages to legally occur. Those who brought the amendment to the electorate in the first place remain confidentone Monte Stewart in Utah saying that any challenge brought before the court would fail.

In the America that we see shaping for the next four years, with a Christian Conservative dominated Washington, she may just be right.

Business & Politics Editor: Sinead Redmond

Trinity News Bush and Buttiglione: at home and away, from a right-wing perspective The two main news stories of the past couple of weeks have really highlighted the disparity between Europe and America. Just as EU Commissioner-designate Rocco Buttiglione is forced to stand down because of his religious beliefs, President Bush retains his office because of his own.

Polls suggest that it was Bush’s conservative stance on moral issues such as same sex marriage, stem cell research and abortion which affected the electorate most, rather than what many commentators predicted: the war in Iraq, healthcare, or employment. The President managed to tap into the strong conservative Christian vote, and that is how he won the race. As Mr. Buttiglione said in reaction to Bush’s re-election, “America has shown itself to be more religious and more attentive to values than Europe”.

40% of Americans consider themselves born-again Christians: a ready-made pool of voters for Bush, himself professing to be born again.

Kerry tried to combat this by emphasizing his Catholic background, but his progressive attitude on the “moral issues” seemed inconsistent and scared away the Catholic vote. Meanwhile at his rallies Bush is introduced as the candidate standing for “the right God”. Whether they mean the god of right-wingers or the correct god I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure it’s all the same to Bush & co.

Bush knew his policies were the right policies in his last term; he didn’t need a silly little thing like a mandate to prove this. Despite the controversy surrounding his appointment, Bush led very much from the right making very little effort to appeal to the majority of Americans who did not vote for him. His aversion to taking the middle ground was reflected in foreign policy. This was best summed up by his words: “You’re either with us or against us” when he was trying to persuade France and Germany to enter the ‘Coalition of the willing’.

Now, Bush has a majority both in the Electoral College votes and the popular votes, and the Republicans have control of the House and the Senate. Bush has won more votes than any political candidate in the history of the republic. The 2004 election was an overwhelming endorsement of Bush’s first term, and the message from his electorate is: keep up the good work.

And that is just what I expect Bush will do. Of course this time around he does not have to worry about getting re-elected, as the maximum amount of terms per president is two. This will give him more of a free rein in his decision-making, knowing that he will not be held to account by the electorate. As regards foreign policy, some commentators predict military action against North Korea or Iran. Both have nuclear weapons programs, both are in key strategic parts of the world and both were mentioned in the famous “Axis of Evil” speech. However, US troops are currently overstretched trying to control the deteriorating situation in Iraq, and by the looks of things will be for some time, so fresh military campaigns don’t look likely in the foreseeable future.

Closer to home, Buttiglione’s resignation caused great division among those in Europe who take the European Commission seriously.

Buttiglione was effectively sacked for saying that homosexuality is a sin. Since this is official Roman Catholic doctrine, he was a victim of religious discrimination. Some argue that Buttiglione was guilty of sexual discrimination in the first place and they are correct, but they are missing the point.

The question is, would Mr Buttiglione’s beliefs influence the way he does his job? And to this he answers, “I may think that homosexuality is a sin, but that has no effect on politics, unless I say that homosexuality is a crime”. He goes on to say, “The state has no right to stick its nose into these things and nobody can be discriminated against on the basis of sexual orientation…this stands in the Charter of Human Rights, this stands in the Constitution and I have pledged to defend this constitution”.

There you have it; Buttiglione couldn’t discriminate against homosexuals even if he wanted to, the Constitution would not let him. The Italian definitely has a case for the European Court of Human Rights over an unfair dismissal and religious persecution. Although he would probably be better off going to one of the conservative Judges Bush is likely to appoint in the coming few months with his new found mandate.

Daft.ie: From schoolboys’sideline to success story

Struggling to find accommodation in Dublin? Somewhere to store all those textbooks you’ve bought and won’t read until May? A space to enjoy Dr Phil marathons? A place to call home? Well search no more, for daft.ie is the answer to your prayers.

For the uninitiated, Daft.ie provides searchable lists of rooms, property to let, property for sale, office spaces and parking spaces all over Ireland. The site is the brainchild of two young brothers, Eamonn and Brian Fallon. Eamonn completed both a degree in Computer and Electronic Engineering and an M.Sc. in Computer Science (Networks and Distributed Systems) in Trinity while Brian was still at school when the site was launched in 1997.

Brian Fallon observed that it was, “basically impossible to find suitable rental accommodation in Ireland using the internet”. Spotting the niche, they set about creating the website. Brian is modest in his assertions that the site was basic in its formative days, and they were in the, “right place, right time”. The fact that people began instantly using the site is evidence of the untapped market the Fallon brothers had unearthed.

Daft.ie was conceived as the internet boom was getting underway. The brothers saw the opportunity offered by Webbased advertising of property.

They ran Daft.ie on autopilot for the next three to four years while finishing their education, and are now commercialising the product. Daft.ie has grown organically to be one of the most-visited property websites in Ireland and is by far the biggest lettings website in the country.

The site produces some astonishing figures. Daft.ie delivers 12 million pages of properties a month to over 520,000 visitors (that's a new visitor every 4.9 seconds). They have the largest selection of properties online, with over 13,000 properties available for sale and to let at any one time. Over 700 estate agents and 80,000 landlords/homeowners advertise with the site on a regular basis.

The site is an astounding success

and the Fallon brother’s achievements were highlighted this year with a nomination for the Ernst & Young Entrepreneur of the Year Awards.

Recently the site has diversified into advertising property for sale. However, in an astute business move, the site is targeting first time buyers only. Eamonn Fallon is pragmatic in his analysis of daft’s position on the property value chain, “We don’t have properties in Foxrock or Rathgar, we don’t want those properties. We have good value properties suitable for first time buyers.” The same people who may have used daft.ie in earlier years to find their rental accommodation can now enter the property market and purchase any of the 4,500 houses under

E300,000 currently for sale on daft.ie.

The brothers are also looking into overseas property sales, (for the well traveled potential buyer we presume..?) and a special section aimed at those wishing to share property has been very popular. Of course, as many people know only too well, the chances of sharing with the lunatic maths student who collects obscure bird watching magazines and likes playing German heavy metal at ridiculous hours, is, unfortunately, the risk you take utilising that particular section of daft.ie.

Looking to the future, the website, with its specific market of users and visitors is a prospective goldmine for any

potential venture capitalists and although the brothers are playing their cards close to their chests, “We run a tight, profitable operation, we’re not looking for outside investment,” theirs is a product in which there undoubtedly, enormous scope for expansion and investment.

Following their undeniable success and promise for the future, Trinity News wonders has the TCD educated, co-founder of daft.ie, Eamonn Fallon, any advice for other potential entrepreneurs in Trinity? “Just go for it, you have nothing to lose and it’s much more fulfilling than a full-time job regardless of whether you become a millionaire or not!” Sound advice indeed, you’d be daft not to take it.

Travel Editor: Anthony Thuillier

Tuesday November 9, 2004

Trinity News

TRAVEL

Tales from the Tour: An Interrailer’s Journal Alix O Neill Saturday 3rd July Florence Great start to my trip. I’m sitting in my hotel room with nothing but the sweat-soaked clothes on my back and a fistful of crumpled Euro. The airport has lost my backpack and I’ve just made a hefty dent in my budget, crying down the phone to my boyfriend back home.

This is Paris all over again. Last year, I travelled Europe by myself with no problems, until I arrived in not so gay Paris. My bag was taken from my room as I slept, three days before the end of my trip. They took everything: passport, money, traveller’s cheques, airline tickets and phone…

Thankfully, a friend was due to fly out the next day, so mum was able to send over cash and an ID to get home. This time I’m here for two weeks before anyone else arrives.

Passport, I can do without, but clean underwear is an entirely different story.

Friday 9th July I’ve been here almost a week now. My bag arrived the next day. It had, of course, been in Frankfurt, the airline rep explained to me, surprised that I had actually expected it to be Florence. Monday was my first day at school. (After a dismal performance in my Italian exam in June, the folks packed me off here for a language boot camp.)

There are twelve of us in the class, of all ages and nationalities. We speak only Italian every day, which usually means that every day I have absolutely no idea what’s going on.

It’s quite embarrassing as teachers always pick on those who look like they haven’t got a clue. I find the best way to avoid this negative attention is to smile and nod, to show you know exactly what’s happening. A well-timed laugh now and again indicates you’ve understood a witty comment and you’ll look intelligent. Of course this doesn’t

FLASHBACK 24 Oct 1963

always work. When Davorka started talking about her father’s death whilst fighting against Serbian occupation of Kosovo, I sensed it would be a good time to laugh. It wasn’t.

Apart from my obvious unpopularity in the class, I’m starting to enjoy myself here in Florence. It’s a city full of contrasts, both fascinating and frustrating. As the epicentre of European art and culture, Florence attracts visitors from all over the world, spreading through the city like the plague. You can’t walk five feet without overhearing a conversation in English or obstructing yet another photo of the Duomo. Queues for the galleries and exhibitions are miles long and if you dare stop for a second to admire the impressive architecture, you’re sure to be harassed by a persistent street vender, offering ‘I love Italia’ aprons with a considerably less impressive snapshot of David’s genitalia underneath. After a few days here, my friend Sarah led me away from the chaos of the city centre. Once we’d crossed the river Arno, away from the Duomo and its many admirers, I felt calmer and more appreciative of the city. Of course you’ll still encounter the odd tourist, but at least you can unwind over bottle of Frascatti without having to endure some loud foreigner complaining that the pizza tastes better at “The Hut”.

My boyfriend Dex is coming over tomorrow for a week and the others arrive on Wednesday to celebrate my 21st. I can’t imagine a better way to spend my birthday than in Italy with my closest friends and family. I fancy a quiet meal and a few drinks this yearsomething a bit civilised now that I’m in my twenties…

tively civilised meal in a tavern across the river. Nothing too crazy.

A few impromptu Republican songs here and there, but this is a prerequisite for any Paddy abroad.

After supper we made our way to an open-air club in the suburbs.

Seeing mum safely back to the hotel, dad decided he fancied a session, so came along to ‘supervise’.

He did a fantastic job. Within ten minutes Nikki had passed out, most considerately, right beside the bar.

We were able to guard her spreadeagled form without once having to queue for a drink. It was an ideal situation until a spat with the barman over his stingy measures of vodka left Little Miss Comatose unattended for three minutes, enough time for her to regain consciousness and make off into the bushes with a Norwegian named Sinbad. With Nikki no longer an issue, the rest of us decided to explore our surroundings. Caoimhe and I got chatting to a Prada clad poser who invited us into the VIP

section to lick a fine bottle of Bollinger off his chest. We were clearly licking in the wrong direction as he soon had us forcibly removed from the area. When a security guard told us we’d been bumpin’ and grindin’ with the Prince of Denmark we laughed increduously, until we saw our man being escorted through a heavily guarded back entrance to a huge limo outside. As we were leaving the club, a scuffle broke out between the doormen and a Mexican girl, who claimed one of the pony tailed heavies had roughly twisted her arm. I confronted him in a fit of drunken indignation and was greeted with ‘your mama’ insults. Not one to have my mama slighted, I lunged for the cretin, missed and landed crotch first on the safety barrier. It hurt a whole lot. Before I could pick myself up for Round Two, dad staggered in to protect his daughter but he too, was sent flying. In the midst of this mini-drama, we were mugged by

an opportunist group of onlookers and Dex, more terrified by his girlfriend’s Mafioso imitations than anything else, decided to flee.

Jumping into what he thought was a taxi the drunken fool soon found himself in the middle of the Tuscan countryside, with nothing to declare but a long walk home. We filed a missing person’s report at 6:30 in the morning in broken Italian/Portuguese and scoured the streets of Florence until he appeared out of the morning mist, dishevelled in his white shirt. It reminded me of Jude Law in ‘Cold Mountain’, coming home to Nicole after war. Today, things aren’t quite so romantic. We’re out of pocket, some of us a bit bruised and all completely mortified. “Pass the parmesan” is about as much as we can say to each other. Thank God everyone’s going home tomorrow and Nikki and I can look forward to the rest of our trip without any more drama…

Note to self: never plan to have a quiet birthday.

Y o u ’ l l inevitably end up with the opposite.

We had a rela-

“Back from Greenland’ first appeared in Trinity News on October 24 1963. It seems to perfectly capture the pioneering spirit of the age. To meet the new challenges of the 60s Trinity was expanding its horizons, beginning to think globally, and that delightful bunch of free thinking modernists, Catholics, were just around the corner. The article contains many outrageous stories, and is easily identifiable as an example of the twilight of the Trinity ‘character’. Mahaffy, Salmon, Gogarty, Jim Taggert – a long illustrious line of great talkers and adventurists – the last of whom is well captured in this piece. The difficulties of kilt wearing in the artic, peeing amongst mosquitoes and trusting Monaco’s royal family to deliver your packages at the right time and in the right place are all recounted here. A gem, a true blast from the past, and well worthy of a reread…

“It was a beautiful cloudless night and the sun was shining”.

So began a description of a series of fantastic incidents. I was talking to Chris Oakley, a member of Trinity Expedition that has just come back from Greenland. Their adventures were so numerous that I put away my notebook and settled down for the evening. Here are some of the things that happened to the largest expedition ever to leave Trinity.

Perhaps the most hairraising incident was when Kier Campbell, the head of the expedition, set up camp near an old miner’s camp. He lit the fire beside an up-turned wheelbarrow, which made a firm seat for the cook.

Dinner over, everyone started tidying up. Kier turned the wheelbarrow over and discovered that for over an hour he had been sitting on a stack of dynamite only two feet away from the fire.

Or again, Peter Moore, out of food and barely supporting a very rumbly tummy, came across

Papa's Irish Pub Lucy Payne Welcome to Saratov's newest addition, 'Papa's Irish Pub'.

Opened last week on Prospekt Kirova, Saratov can now claim a place on the prestigious map of The International Irish Bar alongside London, Paris, and Venice. As one of Saratov's sole five Irish I was determined to make our presence known to the owners, thus ensuring an Erasmus year of free pints Irish stew.

I called into The office and under the cunning guise of being a journalist asked for an interview with the Russian owner, Andre Taboyakov, and the manageress, Natalya Matveychek. The interview was hindered by my faltering Russian, and I failed to delve into the gritty, deep and murky world of opening a pub in Russia, instead making do with more prosaic questions along the lines of 'why did you decide To open an Irish Pub?' I did come away with some interesting statements by Andre. 'Russian people love freedom, democracy and free time, that is why they will love my pub.’

'Guinness is Ireland', 'We will sell Irish hash'. I thought I had uncovered something in this, but it turns out he was mixing up the word with Irish stew. Perhaps I should have told him hash was a commodity more popularly consumed in Ireland than stew. As the interview came to a sluggish and unimpressive end I got what I was looking for, an invite. Andre and Natalya want-

ed us to visit Papa’s as special guests, talk to the staff and give the pub the all clear before the grand opening and ensure everything down to the shade of light and volume of The Chieftains was just right. I accepted with solemnity, it was a heavy burden to bear. Fortunately we carried out our task with grace and gusto.

'Dim the lights a little, a bit more. Yes, that's better.

There's nothing worse than a being able to see. The music? It's probably a bit loud; you need to be able to hear people talk.

Turn it down a bit more. The Who, The Pokies? Oh, you mean The Pogues?Yes, always a classic choice. Maybe it would be better without the posters for English shoe polish.' So went our suggestions. The pub's interior is surprisingly similar to what is perceived as 'genuine' Irish. Located in a the basement of a former English restaurant, a tainted history we decided to overlook, the bar contains the essential criteria; wood and lots of it, a slab tiled floor, a mock fireplace and finally a VIP snug to which we are still awaiting our invite. Its success is made even more surprising by the fact that the interior designer, never having been to Ireland, based his vision on a book. This book has no hint of the Joyce or the Beckett and it is certainly no Irish classic, but the Eyewitness Travel Guide to Ireland. Using its photographs of pubs as his departure point he fashioned a bar of his own. His desire to get every detail perfect was touching, and we promised to help him in his quest for more ' irlandskee vesche', Irish Knickknacks.

Next to come was the Press Conference. Four solitary wooden chairs were placed in the centre of the pub, around which were seated the entire staff of Papa's, numbering over

15th July

an empty hut. He entered without knocking and found it deserted. In the corner was a large case, so (of course) he started to hack at it with his ice axe, like a young Herjolf Bardarson or Erik the Red, his rubiginous cheeks puffing, his eyes a wild frenzy, hoping it contained some manner of limentation. No such luck! Thinking it might be easier to open from the other side, he turned it over and saw (much to his shock and our good natured but chaffing eclats de rire: “DANGER, NITRO GLYCERINE”.

Some days later, Chris Oakley, Philip Saunders-Birch and William Chestnut took their inflatable rubber motor boat to an Eskimo settlement some 30 miles away to collect supplies. Due to the pack ice they had to do a lot of zigzagging and criss-crossing and thus ran out of petrol. There was nothing for it but to row. And they rowed. 28 miles (approximately the distance between Dover and Calais. But what frightened the was not the distance, for they were hardy chaps, well used to swimming au naturel in the forty foot and occasionally racing each other

Tramp Abroad

'Russian people love freedom, democracy and free time, that is why they will love my pub.’ 'Guinness is Ireland', 'We will sell Irish hash'. I thought I had uncovered something in this, but it turns out he was mixing up the word with Irish stew.

Back from Greenland

Danny Pouget

9

from Howth Head to Ireland’s Eye, but the prospect that they would not make it back for candlelight supper (which was to be at 7 o clock that evening, to celebrate Candelmas).

Jim Taggert, the team’s Scottish member and a botany lecturer in Trinity, very much He refused to wear trousers and insisted on going everywhere in his kilt, He declaimed: though I run the risk of frostbite, I will wear this kilt (slight pause) and this kilt only! He even wanted to parachute in it. Not a pretty sight for any unsuspecting Eskimo below!

One day, having grown a beard and not having cut his hair for months, Jim went into an Eskimo village. Very soon grinning faces and pointing fingers surrounded him. Turning to an expedition member he asked what on earth was the matter. “The fact is my dear chap,’ he was told, ‘these Eskimos have never seen a bearded woman before.

A frightening aspect of life in this latitude was the mosquitoes; thousands swarmed around the camp. The members of the

expedition protected themselves by covering their hands with a special mosquito-repelling cream. It is necessary at certain times, such as when going to the “Fir”, to uncover a minimum of one’s body. It became such a problem that counter measures had to be taken; the only one was speed. We conducted a survey over the course of the expedition, which revealed the average time for whipping it out, and shaking it about was 30 seconds. The kilt however, offered very little protection against the mosquitoes, and though Jim with great courage wore his for the entire stay in the Artic, when he left his genitals looked like they suffered from smallpox.

Halfway through their stay the TCD expedition came across another expedition spending the summer in the artic. The British Wild Fowl Greenland expedition consisted of a very varied and vague set of professors, and scientists. Instead of going around in groups they walked off on their own and spread themselves out over an area of approximately 1,000 square miles of uninhabited

country. A bear nearly ate one, while another left his camera, worth £250, so that he could bring back some goose-poles to the camp. He then went back for his camera but as it was four days walk away and very stormy, the lines of goose droppings, which he had placed at 20-foot intervals, hoping they would lead him back to his camera, had been swept away by the elements. By far the funniest of these was a certain professor who was sexually abused (or at least harassed) by a large group of penguins.

The expedition had, in fact, lost half of its stores, which had been parachuted in two batches by planes flown by Monaca’s royal family. The first landed so far away from its intended destination that it was considered a terrible indictment of the family’s skill. And the second provoked a range of ‘cussin’ as the Americans say, though of a dignified manner.

Which just goes to show that getting back is as difficult as getting there, and you have to run very quickly to stay in the same place.

The interior designer, never having been to Ireland, based his vision on a book.

This book has no hint of the Joyce or the Beckett and it is certainly no Irish classic, but the Eyewitness Travel Guide to Ireland. His desire to get every detail perfect was touching, and we promised to help him in his quest for more ' irlandskee vesche', Irish Knickknacks. twenty. Waiting for us to talk about the mystery that is Ireland there were hushed and expectant whisperings. To have done this in the English language was one thing, but in dire Russian it was of a different and more challenging nature all together.

We struggled to express what the Irish pub meant to us and to our shame indulged in stereotypes as plied by Guinness ads. We also had an ulterior motive. We would influence the character of the staff and thereby mould the traditional unsmiling and gruff Russian waitress into the epitomy of the friendly Irish, and hopefully get a few free drinks along the way. No such luck as of yet, but we have befriended the chef, James. A Frenchman who lived in Kerry and Cork for five years, James was delighted to have some Irish customers and sweated in the kitchen preparing delicacies that would meet our high culinary standards; fish and chips, baked potato 'Irish style', and apple pie.

My attention soon wandered to the centrepiece of any bar, the bar itself. Standing proudly by the beer taps of exotic tipples such as Kilkenny and Guinness, Andre demanded we show the bar staff how a real pint was pulled. Having never pulled a pint in my life, or rather none that could be sold to a paying customer, I shied away from the task and volunteered Ben. He did us proud. There stood 3 gleaming pints of the black stuff. We stood for a moment in satisfaction but realised we were alone. 'Where is the shamrock on the head of the pint?' they demanded. We heard mutterings of ‘otmanobat’; 'cheats' from the security guard, as in our Press Conference Catherine had lost the run of herself by declaring all Irish could do the shamrock design. They never did check our documents; perhaps we Irish celebrity guests were not actually Irish at all. There is only one way to convince them of our 1000% 'genuine' Irishness, go there regularly, get drunk and sing our way home through the streets of Saratov.

10

Tuesday November 9, 2004

Arts Review Editor: Edmund Gordon

Trinity News

ARTS REVIEW Person Trinity

News Recommends

Music: Aha Shake Heartbreak (Kings of Leon)

More Ugly-Sexy-Acid-CountryRock’n’Roll from these deepsouth sons of a preacher man, who are swiftly emerging as one of the most interesting bands in the world. Their first album, Youth & Young Manhood heralded their explosive arrival, but this gives them room to develop - and believe me, they need all the room they can get. Raw, primal emotions dominate on screechy guitars that’ll leave you gasping..

Fiction: The Master Colm Toibin’s Booker-nominated novel is the best of the recent (and bizarrely coincidental) spate of books dealing with the life of Henry James. A pith-perfect evocation of a strangely neglected period in James’ life (the days between first publication and international recognition), it is also by far the best novel that Toibin has written. So don’t be put off if, like me, you found The Blackwater Lightship turgid and dull.

Film : Dead Man’s Shoes Shane Meadows’ new film is just as harsh and edgy as his others, but he cranks up the tension here to levels you’d previously have thought him incapable of. Where his last offering,, ‘Once Upon A Time In The Midlands,’ brought the spaghetti Western to just outside Birmingham, ‘Dead Man’s Shoes’ places the 1970s thriller in the Peak District. In the words of one reviewer (sorry to steal, but they just can’t be improved on), it’s “Dirty Harry with Pot Noodles.” Cracking stuff.

Trinity News Warns Against Fiction: The Plot Against America Anyone not yet bored of Philip Roth’s heavyhanded, self-consciously ‘literary’ style need only read this book to see the light. Or so one would have hoped.

Unfortunately, though, the back of this edition tells me that Roth has just been made ‘one of only three living American authors to have definitive editions of their work published by the National Library of America.’ When will people learn?

Bolly Good Show!

Tilly Culme-Seymour on a film that straddles the cultural divide Gurinder “Bend It Like Beckham” Chadha’s latest film, “Bride and Prejudice”, a kitschy and surreal romp in Bollywood-meets-earlyEighteenth-Century-England, is ‘inspired by’ Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. Closet your cherished image of the gorgeous, frockcoated Colin Firth emerging from a

lake at Pemberley in the 1995 BBC adaptation, for ‘there is reason to fear that’ comparing those 327 mins of otherwise unrivalled conservatism with Chadha’s colourful musical ‘would reflect no credit on either.’ In chapter XVIII of the

novel, Fitzwilliam Darcy makes that somewhat abridged and wholly decontextualised remark to Elizabeth Bennet at the Netherfield Ball, who is trying in vain to ‘sketch’ his character. Elizabeth does not respond, “Talk to me, and not my rack”, though one might credibly have imagined Jennifer

Ehle to have wished to chant that nine years ago to all the fogies tuning into channel one. Yes, potential cinema-goers, there is, as you will have surmised, a latent tension between the Miss Austen’s novel, Simon Langton’s TV triumph, and

Chadha’s “Bride and Prejudice”.

Mr and Mrs Bakshi and their four unmarried daughters (one of the girls assumes a wierd conglomeration of the characters of Mary and Kitty Bennet) live in a villa in rural Amritsar in the state of Punjab.

Money is scarce, (most native Indians, Lalita Bakshi (Aishwarya Rai) observes, earn less in one year than it costs to spend one night in Will Darcy’s plush hotels Stateside), and there is little cash to spare to plump the girl’s dowries.

Mrs Bakshi, who, in homage to one of the most famous sentences in English literature, thinks that ‘any single guy with big bucks, must be shopping for a wife’, is eager to off-load her girls onto rich husbands: at one point, she even logson to Indian Matchmakers Website.

Enter ex-pat Indian Balraj Bingley (Naveen Andrews), a wealthy barrister living in Windsor, and his even-wealthier American friend, the Oxford educated hotel entrepeneur Will Darcy (Martin Henderson). They have come to Amritsar, or ‘Hicksville India’, to celebrate the arranged marriage of a friend, and at the ceremony are alike smitten by the two eldest Bakshi sisters, Jaya (Namatra Shirodokar) and Lalita.

The action then moves to Goa where Darcy must investigate a potentially lucrative hotel acquisi-

tion, and where the slick backpacker-with-a-six-pack Johnnie Wickham (Daniel Gillies) enters the story to disrupt the Course of True Love. There are other impediments to the courtship: Darcy’s outdated ‘imperialist’ attitude must be overcome for him to win the lovely Lalita, as must her fancy for the rogue Wickham, who has in his misspent and dissipate youth

shaw rides with Lalita brooding melancholic on the back, even a private helicopter tour of the Grand Canyon.

In Austen’s novel, when Jane asks her sister Elizabeth Bennet how long she has loved Mr Darcy, she troublingly resounds: ‘I believe I must date it from my first seeing his beautiful grounds at

“we are expected to suspend our cynicism in submission to the delicious inevitability of the formative courtship plot.” impregnated Darcy’s younger sister Georgie, and eventually abducts the albeit complicit youngest Bakshi sister, Lucky or Lakhi, for twenty-four hours of London Eyeriding fun on the embankment. The proposal of a distant relative of the Bakshi’s Mr Kholi (clergyman William Collins’ character played

by Nitin Ganatra), a wide-boy settled ‘colonial style’ in Los Angeles, necessitates a decided refusal and the wiles of a disapproving matriarch, Will’s mother Catherine Darcy, need to be obviated.

Moving between Amritsar, London, and Hollywood, a barouche is naturally not the best mode of transportation. “Clueless”style jeeps transport our protagonists: there are train-journeys, plane-journeys, a few token rick-

Pemberley.’ In “Bride and Prejudice” it is the cynical Charlotte Lucas character who remarks, ‘I think what changed your mind, was seeing the size of his hotel.’ If the function of this slight alteration is to vindicate Elizabeth from suspected pecuniary ambition, it is difficult to reconcile that supposed innocence with Lalita’s dream (related in trilling soprano) of an English country wedding, herself ‘an overseas bride dressed in white’ with cherubic caucasian bridesmaids following her up the isle towards a smirking Wickham. These girls want to leave their family home, just as the Bennet girls in Pride and Prejudice wish to escape the desperate confine of Longbourn, and the Bertram sisters the dour mas-

tery of Sir Thomas Bertram over the eponymous Mansfield Park.

Lalita is an erudite critic on the neo-imperialist attitudes of Westerners visiting India, and I think we are expected to suspend our cynicism as to the motive of the attachments that are formed in favour of a submission to the delicious inevitability of the formative courtship plot. Twenty-first century Elizabeth (also in song) wants an intelligent man with a great big heart, a romantic who will dance with her after cleaning the floor, and do the washing up. Would a modernised Darcy be prepared to wear a pinny?

Chadha produces an amusing and at times astute updating of one of the most reworked narratives ever produced. Bingley’s sister Kiran wears a Burberry bikini, for instance, while drinking sea breezes by the pool in Goa. Though we may question Will Darcy’s credentials as a domestic god, Caroline Bingley would certainly have worn Burberry. My flat-mate Tallie, who I watched the film with, remarked that it was testament to Austen’s enduring skill of characterisation that we are able to recognize Elizabeth Bennet despite her revamping in “Bride and Prejudice”. This film should, in short, retain an appeal to the most committed Jane-ites (if you doubt their existence, log-on to www.pemberley.com) whilst providing a high level of entertainment to less stringent Austen devotees.

The Rock ‘n’ Roll Acrobats Denis Minihan reviews the long-awaited video release of the Rolling Stones’ seminal ‘Rock ‘n’ Roll Circus’ gig.

In November 1967 The Rolling

Stones released their ‘psychedelic’ album,‘Their Satanic Majesties Request’, six months after the socalled Summer Of Love. On the front cover they looked like idiots in silly robes and pointy hats while the LP itself was proof that copious drug use does not always make for great music. For the first time the Stones had slipped behind the times, instead of leading the revolution they seemed to be simply aping The Beatles and other ‘groovy people’ who were swanning around London’s West End. But in May ’68 Jumpin Jack Flash tore through the airwaves and all was forgiven. The riff that kicks in as the song opens is the sonic equivalent of Keith Richards headbutting the nearest crusty hippy.

The Stones were back to what they did best ; hard dark blues rock, the devil’s music. From that release until Exile on Main Street in ’72 the Stones were arguably the greatest rock and roll band on the planet. Songs like Sympathy for the Devil, Street Fighting Man, Midnight Rambler and Gimme Shelter perfectly crystallised their time. Jagger’s great lyrics (a skill long since lost) documented the turbulence of the late 60s; the rise of the youth counter-culture,

Vietnam, the Manson murders, the student riots in Paris.

When the Stones recorded the Rock and Roll Circus, which is finally hitting our shops on DVD, it marked the beginning of their golden period and captures them perhaps at their most vital. As the bongos herald in a fantastic version of ‘Sympathy’, Jagger takes us on a panoramic view of world history from Christ dying on the cross, the slaughtering of the Tsar and his family, the roar of the Blitzkreig and the Kennedy assasinations. The heart of darkness of humankind is confronted head on without fear by a bunch of skinny white boys.

Jagger writhes on the ground with Satan tatooed on his chest, while Richards pours out endless licks over what is perhaps the most funkiest bassline of all time. The Stones here are simply untouchable but their flirtations with evil would come to a rather messy end at Altamont the following year, the lesson here being don’t play cards with the devil or perhaps not to employ psychotic drug crazed Hell’s Angels as your security.

The Who have often been given as the reason the Rock and Roll Circus lay in the vaults for so long.

That their mindblowing perform-

ance of ‘A Quick One While He’s Away’ at breakneck speed with Pete Townshend in full windmill mode and Keith Moon bashing his drums to smithereens simply blew the Stones off the stage. There is also the presence of John Lennon which looms large over the events and the supergroup, Dirty Mac (which consisted of Lennon on rhytm guitar and vocals, Eric Clapton on lead, Richards on bass and Mitch Mitchell on drums), being probably a more exciting prospect to music lovers than the Stones themselves. But when Yoko Ono gets up on stage to add grating screeches to a bluesy jam by the band of superstars, she does little to disprove the notion that she split The Beatles up. Just imagine Macca and the lads faces listening to her screaming along to Come Together in Abbey Road’s mixing room.

The most likely reason that the Rock and Roll Circus lay gathering dust for so long was Brian Jones.

He seems to be struggling to stay on his feet and keep his eyes open through most of the performance and his bandmates look visibly embarassed at times. In the final singalong of ‘Salt of The Earth’ Richards seems ready to flatten his fellow guitarist if he bangs him into

him one more time and keeps flashing Jagger exasperated ‘I can’t take any more of this’ glares. Jones who was once perhaps the most talented member of the Stones was fading fast, the cherub-like face that stared from posters on bedroom walls in previous years was now bloated and seemingly in pain. He was one of the first victims of the hedonism of the 1960s, the proof of where unlimited consumption of drugs and alcohol w ould lead. That is except of course you were Keith Richards. Over the next five years Keith (or to say it correctly Keef) was probably the coolest rock star that ever existed, with his gravity defying hair and blackened teeth, he was every inch the modern day pirate. If the devil came among us in human form he would look like Keef does in this period, effortlessly dapper and dangerous.

In the Rock and Roll Circus Jagger and Richards define the roles of the British rock singer and lead guitarist. Jagger, the extrovert frontman, gyrates, smashes a chair, demanding full attention from the audience. While Richards simply stands elegantly wasted, scowls and oozes coolness. A formula used in varying degrees by many of the great songwriting partnerships of the following decades (see

Page/Plant, Morrissey/Marr, Brown/Squire). But the overriding question of the Circus for me is how could these men who manned the barricades of the youth revolution be the same old wrinklies hobbling across the stages of sports stadiums round the world. A band that was once so important is now nothing more than a money-spinning nostalgia act. Their lips logo is a as much a symbol of capitalism as the go lden arches of McDonalds.

down on their circus many moons ago.or as Valentine himself puts it, “We are who we are. At the end of the day we’re pretty lazy actually, we just do what comes natural and try to make the audience have a good time.”

Richards is still trading on his outlaw, fast-living image while in reality its probably more likely hot cocoa and slippers rather than Jack Daniels and speedballs round Keef’s gaffe these days. Jagger, (who is obviously a complete egomaniac) onstage is a self-parody and offstage is little more than a randy old goat. If rock and roll is about anything it is about youth and rebellion. It seems the stones were not either astute enough to realise this or more sadly (and more likely) were not able to live without the constant supply of money and adulation that it provides. It seems as the years have passed the Stones have found themselves caught behind the times again but this time around neither Jagger nor Richards could admit that the curtain should have come

The Return Of The Britflick Antony Cole on the highlights of This year’s London Film Festival showcased a wide variety of new films from around the world. But distinguishing it from previous years was the large number of homegrown (that is to say British, not Irish) movies that were playing. From long-established directors such as Danny Boyle and Mike Leigh, to newcomers like Harry Wootliff, the Brits were out in force. And for the first time in years, there seems to be more to British Cinema than the tedious genres of romcom and gangster movie (Layer Cake and Love, Actually notwithstanding, of course...)

One of the first screenings of the festival was Danny Boyle’s new film, Millions. Penned by longtime screenwriter Frank Cottell Boyce (adapted from his own novel), Millions is the tender and

amusing story of a couple of brothers in the north of England who discover a suitcase full of cash ten days before the changeover to the Euro. Too young to bank the money without attracting attention, and with only days before it becomes worthless, the boys set about spending it - but while the older lad is a regular entrepeneur, his younger brother (an exceptional debut from Alexander Nathan Etel) is more interested in giving it all away. A sweet and sometimes heartbreaking meditation on the place of money in a Godless world, Millions is Danny Boyle’s most mature work to date. It retains all of the visual experimentation that characterised early films such as Trainspotting and Shallow Grave, but is a far gentler and more thoughtful piece of fimmaking.

This could be the beginning of a

new lease of life for Boyle, who is once again proving himself as one of the most exciting directors in the world.

Another big-budget Brit-flick was director Roger Michell and screenwriter Joe Penhall’s adaptation of Ian McEwan’s Enduring Love. Starring Daniel Craig and Rhys Ifans, the film perfectly captures the claustrophobic edginess of the book, while changing just enough to make it a valid artistic enterprise in its own right.

The TCM Classic Shorts competition once again showcased the up-and-coming young stars of British film. The standard, as ever, was incredibly high, with only one film of the shortlisted six being remotely below par. Particularly impressive were Harry Wootliff’s ‘Nits’, and Ed Roe’s hilarious ‘Call Register’, starring Martin

Friedman. The winner will be announced on November 6th.

China was the next best-represented country at the festival, with Wong Kar-Wai’s 2046 and Zang Yimou’s House of Flying Daggers two of the main attractions. But while the former was a genuinely impressive example of innovative cinema, Zang Yimou’s movie was just another example of the increasingly tedious ‘operatic violence’ churned out by Asian directors ever since Crouching Tiger. It seems a shame that these people can’t see how aping the techniques of a great movie just make those techniques cliched, and ultimately serves to devalue even their first use...

Sadly, though, this country’s filmmakers were poorly represented, with only one film (from the North) being screened. But if the

British industry does continue to grow, it can only mean good news for Irish directors, since an interest in good movies should have universal implications (as opposed to the specifically ‘British’ markets of gangsters and slush.)

Stills from some of the films featured.

Tuesday November 9, 2004

11

Trinity News ARTS REVIEW Helsing’s a BADaptation Generally, I find that the only bonus of being employed by Chartbusters Ltd is that I have an allowance of five free DVDs a week on my employee account in partexchange for my soul (I know what you’re thinking – it’s a fair bargain). Last week after a hard day’s slog, which usually involves dodging a variety of inanimate objects thrown from the friendly neighbourhood travellers, I decided to treat myself to one of those free films. Against all my mental protestations, I plucked Van Helsing from a pile of DVDs (out of morbid curiosity, of course), and oh, how my flatmate wished I hadn’t.

Michelle Barnard Like most people, I like to think that I go into a movie experience with an open mind, but I couldn’t help acknowledging a voice deep inside telling me that ‘this film is going to be shite’. It was just awful.

All of it. And I now realise why people tell you to listen to your ‘gut instinct’ – but, even though I may have wasted a good hour and a half of my life, I’m satisfied that I never handed a single cent over to the company I work for, or the cinema box office, and especially not to the people that actually made such tripe, never mind the studio that saw it fit for release into the world.

And the really sad thing is that no amount of sweaty Hugh Jackmans could ever persuade me to change my mind.

The film was its own Frankenstein, a bastard child unleashed into the world to eventually inflict pain and suffering on to the novel-reading public. It was a horrible mishmash of literary and legendary characters: Stoker’s Van Helsing and Dracula, Stevenson’s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and Mary Shelley’s Monster (who magically became known as Frankenstein in the trailer). Stephen Sommers’s artistic license as a director goes far beyond adopting and adapting another person’s work – he cuts out the ‘cool’ characters from a myriad of 19th century novels and turns them into action heroes! Surely there must be some sort of copyright protection act against such artistic cowboys?

Before I could stop myself, I was shouting at the telly, and then rummaging through my books on the windowsill, quoting random paragraphs at the bemused face of my flatmate. And that was during the first ten minutes of the film. By the time the credits rolled, I had turned

into a stereotype of an English student, the sort that I can’t stand – the sort that spews out random dates when looking at two hundred yearold buildings; that liken their friends to characters most people haven’t heard of, from books most people haven’t heard of. I even started to sound like (god forbid) a critic.

After a few days, when I had calmed down, I started to think about book-to-film adaptations, and the extent to which it has now become a money-making certainty.

The most recent blockbuster is probably Wolfgang Peterson’s Troy, adapted from Homer’s The Iliad, which grossed over $45.6 million in its first week at the box office. When it came to Irish shores, myself and a fellow English student’s first remarks were: ‘I wonder how they will represent the Gods?’ Needless to say, Peterson chose to skip that part.

Adaptations are rife in the contemporary film industry, but surely it can’t always be Arts students and book lovers who question whether an adaptation can live up to its original source? Generally, I find that most people have wholeheartedly embraced book-to-film adaptations, because it saves us from having to take the time out to read the original novel (I used the very same excuse when encourage to read The Lord of the Rings trilogy) – we can just as easily get it over and done with in two hours rather than two weeks. But I think that it has gotten to the frighteningly idle extent to where school kids watch the film version instead of reading the book, without being aware that there are often large changes made to the original story until its too late, and their answer paper on a Romeo and Juliet exam makes references to Tybalt’s gunshot wounds.

Take Stanley Kubrick’s adaptation of Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess – it was visually brilliant, but what happened to the twentyfirst chapter? The outcome of that omission was a film that was darker than its source, one that lacked a sense of morality and redemption, and more importantly, one that lacked evidence that the main character was maturing into an adult. It lacked a point. Other interpretations of novels tend to be modernised versions, which are apparently supposed to bring literature ‘up to date’, by placing it in a contemporary setting that will give a text ‘new relevance’ into a culture and setting that we can ‘understand’. A lot of people still don’t even realise that Clueless is a version of Jane Austen’s Emma, even though it happens to state the fact on the credits. Are these modernisations a reflection of our own stunted interest and understanding of history? Has modern society developed so much with each decade that we may now consider 60 or 70 years ago to be historical?

Shakespeare’s plays have to be the most frequently adapted literatureto-cinematic medium – his plays have become teen action-flicks, Disney cartoons and even musicals.

It’s a great reflection on how literature can transcend temporal and spatial limitations of history and setting but, on the other hand, it also speaks volumes when the original meanings begin to get lost. If I had a penny for every time somebody misused the line ‘Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?’ I think I’d actually be able to afford this English degree that I’m studying for.

Of course I realise that its impossible to make word for word replica films, especially when considering the complicated nature of certain novels – think Catch 22 and the

film adaptation of it. It was a noble effort, but even my imaginary cat could have told them that it’s an impossible task. I can appreciate it when words on paper are brought to life, colour, and song – the power of the imagination is a great one, and many say that cinema is the perfect medium for storytelling because it encompasses colour, sound, setting, music and movement. But, as intelligent and rational human beings, we have to ask ourselves what is being sacrificed on the way?

There are many limitations involved in the filmmaking process; films don’t have the liberty to delve into character background, point of view or location descriptions for pages and pages like many novels do, simply because it relies on visual techniques to speak for all of that.

Unlike many novels, there are certain budgets to stick to, filming schedules, length restrictions, and classification restrictions, as well as a limited number of available resources – which in novels are simply conjured out of thin air by a balding author sitting at his typewriter.

Is a book-to-film adaptation forever indebted to its source material, and if so, how is it that today’s filmmakers are itching to piss another good book up the cinematic wall? I don’t believe that a film adaptation should, through direct action or omission, undermine or reverse the meaning or moral behind an author’s work. But it is as if there doesn’t seem to be any requirements for filmmakers to remain faithful to the original intentions of the material they take inspiration from, in particular, from what I understand of films like Van Helsing and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, to even remain remotely true to the books and characters that they base their work upon. Have filmmakers just run out of original ideas? Or are they just past caring?

The power that film has to influence people, to twist historical events, and to even change the morality of certain texts has evolved to a worrying degree. The

Universal Horror movies of the 1930s had a huge effect on how modern society today can identify legendary horror figures adapted for the screen from such novels as Frankenstein, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and Dracula. Books such as these have an enormous cultural after-life that extends far beyond the author’s intentions, but unfortunately to the point where their meaning, their morality and their importance have been watered down for mass audiences. In the wake of Halloween, ask any kid to describe any of these characters – The Monster, for example, is known to them as Frankenstein: he’s green, he walks slowly with his arms outstretched, he groans a lot, and he has bolts on either side of his neck.

Our perceptions have become carbon copies of directors’s interpretations. In the future, when all the

books have been burned, and all we have left are dusty film reels, will we watch Saving Private Ryan and believe that the Second World War was between America and Germany? Could it even come to the point where the aforementioned novels simply don’t exist anymore; could films like Van Helsing replace them, where once important literary characters now coexist in some alternate, albeit action-packed, reality that pales in significance to the original classic novels?

The worst part of my Van Helsing experience is that very few people seem to care that literary genocide is taking place all around us, and that millions of others are actually paying money to see it. I am aware that even after writing this, I’ll still come off as a rambling English student talking about things that happened centuries ago, that nobody

seems to find important anymore.

When you read a book, and watch the film version afterwards, the actors and images in the film are always going to be different from what you pictured as you were engrossed in a book – it’s always going to be a matter of interpretation. But when that process occurs the other way round, when the film is watched before the book, I’ll be surprised if the film version doesn’t completely overshadow the book, even to the point where the book never even gets read.

It’s something to think about as we continue to live in an age of everincreasing technological advancement. Either that or I need to start rolling with the times. I guess you could say that my frustration compared to other people’s acceptance is merely a simple question of what came first – the chicken or the film?

Everything can be seen by lamplight ‘Dublin By Lamplight’

By Michael West The Corn Exchange at the Project theatre Til Nov. 20th 8pm, € 14 concessions

Laura Dixon A play of ‘fading stars, rebels, whores, romantics and royalty’, West’s play ‘Dublin by Lamplight’ storms onto the stage with its interpretation of Ireland at the turn of the century. With the universal themes of unrequited love and death, and the more specifically located themes of Nationalism and the role of theatre in Ireland, the controversial nature of the play is masked by its comedy. And in fact, it is hilarious.

Mime and mimicry are central to the exploration of character; with

biting representations of the sectors that made up this hybrid society.

From the lower classes, to the Republicans, to West Brits and their attempts to “rediscover” the true Ireland, West is keen not to confer any of these groups with too much sense or respect.

The blanched faces of the characters has a practical role; as they switch between characters and roles; from Irish rebel to staunch Unionist Inspector, from Wildean actor to stage sweeper, the characters switch effortlessly from one to the next, with their accents changing accordingly.

Their white, clown-like faces serve to make them anonymous.

Despite the comedy - and it is undoubtedly a very ‘funny’ play - it raises a number of important issues, which are perhaps, highlighted because of West’s light, melodramatic treatment of them.

The performers run across the

stage, perfectly in time with the brilliant musical accompaniment provided by the pianist, with endless energy, making a vibrant and powerful production. However, this never takes away from the important issues they are dealing with.

Dublin in 1904 was a place riddled with crime, the unnerving presence of the Irish Republican Brotherhood on the fringes of the play highlighting an ever-present if marginal danger. Class divides, the irrelevance of the British colonial rule and the tensions brought about by the visit of the King, provide the highly charged backdrop to the play.

The play is set amidst the search to create an Irish National theatre, (mimicking the Abbey’s own creation in 1904). The National Theatre is seen as a mouthpiece, voicing the need to rediscover Irish culture, to rediscover Ireland.

Myth and tradition are the seeds of this drive for an independent the-

atre. Their first play, ‘the Wooing of Eimear’, with its male protagonist the Irish warrior hero Cuchulain, asks important questions about the role of theatre and art within the space of an emerging sense of Nationalism. When told it is to be an Irish play, in an Irish theatre, one character asks; “does it have peasants in it then?”! The play works to both endorse and deconstruct the sense of “Irish” theatre, with its characters presumably representing literary figureheads of the Revival, like Lady Gregory and J.M.Synge, with the latter’s predisposition to the myth of the peasant and the Irish warrior being mimicked.

the century. They ask, “where is home?” and what is “going home”, to those who had always lived here? The play sees the alignment of the cultural and political movements- with the search for Ireland in literature and culture being allied to a rejection of British colonial rule; symbolised by the actor Frank’s attempts to assassinate the King. West is keen to expose the irony of such a group of people wanting to represent the very culture that rejects them. He draws on the dichotomy between seeing Ireland as ‘just an outpost- a mercantile consideration’, and the sense that it is home for a number of the characters.

The programme contains a few lines from a select Parliamentary committee on theatres and places of entertainment, which commented:

Willie, the aspiring playwright, seems almost callous in his determination to turn tragedy into a play.

He sees tragedy, be it national tragedy or the death of his brother, as potential artistic material. With the trouble the Theatre experiences during the first production, the playwright, desperate to save his theatre proposes a performance instead of ‘His Hairy Legs’! At the first setback it seems the theatre might have ‘lost its soul’…

“ Q: As a matter of fact, I suppose the Irish are not great theatre goers?

A: They are Q: But there are only two theatres in Dublin A: Yes.” The irony which undercuts this statement, the same as that which undercuts the creation of the Irish National Theatre itself, is omnipresent throughout the play. Not only is West highlighting the irony in the Anglo-Irish insistence in creating a “true Irish identity”, with an English woman calling on the sisters of “Eireann”, but his play has deeper resonances that question identity and nationalism themselves.

In spite of the comedy, with West’s Wildean figure claiming he wants to be a Fenian rebel because he has “nowhere else to go”, the play is illustrative of the deep crisis in Anglo-Irish identity at the turn of

The play is questioning bravery and heroism itself. One of the actors melodramatically mourns the death of an Irishman, saying “his blood is on our hands”. The blasé response from the working class Dubliner beside him, the very person they are hoping to represent; “But I never killed anyone”, crushes any such illusions. The people they are dying for, and desperate to represent, do not necessarily want to be represented. He is subverting the supposed need to “save Ireland’s soul”.

The Corn Exchange, in collaboration with the Project, is keen to explore new and “radically differ-

ent” forms of theatre. This technique, labelled Commedia dell’Arte by director Annie Ryan, is credited with giving a new energy and intensity to the performance. Indeed the play’s energy does not diminish throughout the play, making the ending, with all the unanswered questions it leaves, such a shock. There is no poetry in the cruel reality of unrequited love,

potential civil war and the struggles of colonialism, and West lets the ending portray this. The Irish National Theatre our idealist playwright seeks to create seems to have crumbled with the failure of his play, a crushing reality brought home by the ambiguous ending of the play we have seen.

Upcoming New Theatre A new production "EXIT 1. The Blue Russian" opens on 10th November in The Crypt at Christchurch Cathedral.

RUN: 8th to 21st PREVIEWS: 8th & 9th NO PERFORMANCES: 15th & 20th Monday to Saturday 8pm Sunday Performances 6pm Tickets: 15 euro/ 7 euro concession EXIT 1. The Blue Russian A new theatre piece directed by Kate McLaughlin Cast includes: Will Irvine, Liam McGonagle, Emer Savage, Claudia Schwartz, Kelly Stone, Caoimhin O Conghaile.

We are a new theatre company preoccupied with making work that rigorously engages with the quality unique to theatre- its liveness. We believe that theatre is an art form and therefore its "content" or "message" should be open to the interpretation of the audience. Art does not try to preach or inform. The meaning is made by the spectator, and each spectator has absolute authority over the meaning for them. People's life experience will influence their interpretation and we do not aim to flatter those who have had similar experiences or education to us. The piece of theatre is autonomous and its meaning is the property of the spectators. We believe theatre is an experience, effecting the audience through their senses as well as their intellect. We aim to produce work of the highest quality with much emphasis on the aesthetic and attention to the elements that effect the senses. This piece will manifest as a mixture of theatre, performance art and installation.

12

Tuesday November 9, 2004

Food & Drink Editor: Patrick O’ Connor

Trinity News Cooking by numbers: the new culinary science.

FOOD & DRINK

Professional cooking has begun to realise that it has to embrace the world of science. Its critics are afraid of turning the kitchen into a cold hearted lab.

Will the molecular gastronomists win this culinary battle?

Patrick O Connor The meat, the vegetable and the sauce are the essential tributaries of what ends as your main meal. At its best each note in the meal is played as a duet between a food producer and a chef. The meat is grilled and the marbling lathers the meat with moisture, when the fresh vegetables are lightly braised the natural sugars weep out. Food producers apply horticultural and agricultural science to produce the ingredients. The chefs manipulate the ingredients using methods that have been handed down via catering schools, internships and domestic instruction. But chefs and indeed cooks have their own science, whether they like it like it or not. Chefs and cooks must challenge their methods. Putting salt into a pot of boiling water does nothing to the vegetables, the boiling point increases but the effect is negligible.

There is no diffusion of salt into the vegetables. It’s said that women should not make mayonnaise while menstruating and that people favouring their left hand should never prepare a soufflé. These are only old wives’ tales but the salt problem points out the witch doctor fundamentals that cooking has often been based on.

There is nothing more serious in gastronomy at the moment than understanding its science. In any domestic or professional kitchen the technologies used are for the most part a replication of man’s own abilities; they are designed to speed the process of chopping, mincing, beating and so on. The fashionable way to cook anything in a professional kitchen is on the grill, hot rocks heated by gas with a grill put over them or with a wood burning oven, which just behaves exactly as it says on the tin. The essential feature of both is the scorching of the ingredients seen in the grill marks on the meat and fish or the burning around the edge of your pizza, an exercise done ultimately for the psychological benefit of the eater. But the point still remains that the technology used in kitchens is inspired from mimicry and basic robotics. In truth I prefer, as a cook, to keep the level of new technology to a minimum. There’s a great harmony and a sort of a splendid, contented isolation from using the knife, the pestle and mortar, the balloon whisk and the casserole.

But a massage is a massage and its cure is limited. I need to change, to move

from Cooking does have its own science and must be welcomed by more chefs and cooks. Several cooks and chefs I have spoken to disagree that you can extract the personality of the cook out cooking. Maybe cooks have the same relationship with their food, as storytellers have with their stories and that the béarnaise made by Marc Veyrat may be different from the béarnaise made be Charlie Trotter. This is not really the issue. The definition of many sauces

“A canister containing a foam of green tea, lime and vodka is squirted into a pot of steaming liquid nitrogen cooled at200 degrees Celsius, stirred to chill and eaten as a snow ball.” will forever be in contention and the debate of what goes in and when will only spice up the reason for becoming a cook or a chef. But understanding the manifestations in food is a good thing, not so as to contract the possibilities but to expand them. The same piece of meat reacts to heat the same way if heated in exactly the same method regardless of who is standing over the pan or put roast into the oven. This is not the finished product and this is not what goes onto the plate. The chef and cook is not rationalised out of the picture. An accompaniment, the service of said finished dish, the sourcing, the list goes on of what still needs the chefs attention, detail and intelligence. The job of the cook and chef is to bring a story to the table. It must tell a gastronomic tale which is appropriate to the audience, the occasion, the time of day, the time of year, the year in the decade and the decade itself.

It must give life to its characters, whether its is a fine and elegant sturgeon or a gormless looking pigs head. Getting a sense of all these variance is a job which will only become more creatively challenging once we have theorised and tested foods relationship with the

factors of manipulation such as heat, light, pressure etc.

According to Chemsoc.org Antoine Lavoisier ( 1743-1813) became interested in measuring the density of stock and how much solid gelatinous matter it contained. Justin von Liebeg (18031873) was also curious about stock densities while Eugene Chevreul ( 17861889) explored the chemical properties of fats. If you think it’s another Nouvelle Cuisine then you’re wrong.

The University of Gastronomic Science opened its campus in Colorno ( Parma, Italy) in May of this year. The late Nicholas Kurti, the renowned low temperature physicist from Oxford University who along the This coined the name Molecular Gastronomy, organised the first MG workshop which is attended still by chefs, scientists and food writers in Erice, Sicily, bi-annually.

The concept of Molecular Gastronomy (the application of scientific principles to the understanding and improvement of small scale food preparation.) is finding favour with more and more people as time goes by. In the last five years scientist like Herve This of the National Institute of Agronomic Research in Paris and Peter Barham of Bristol University have begun to meet chefs like Pierre Gagnaire and Heston Blumenthal half ways. Recently This enthused that: “imagine a scientist working on pigments how useful it would be to have a collaboration with Rembrandt, a guy who knows from empiricism much more than the scientist has ever observed.” The Rembrandt on this occasion is Pierre Gagnaire, the French chef who is also responsible for the kitchens at Sketch. However more controversially the Rembrandt in Barham’s case is Heston Bluthmental, the self-taught three Michelin chef who is splitting the cheffing world into two, the ya and the na. When Bluthmental first got his Michelin star he had an outside loo. His dishes have moved on from fairy tale French to Alice in wonderland. A canister containing a foam of green tea, lime and vodka is squirted into a pot of steaming liquid nitrogen cooled at -200 degrees celsius, stirred to chill and eaten as a snow ball. Phew. I can’t see this catching on at home but a quick look at how his chips are cooked will lead to what may become the twenty first century must-have kitchen appliance: the desiccators. The desiccators

are used to suck the moisture out of thrice cooked chips leaving them crispy on the outside and fluffy on the inside.

Berham and Bluthemental also look at the way people react to food and how taste evolves. For example the Irish chocolatier Gerard Coleman of L’Aristan du Chocolat has developed for the Fat Duck chocolates that taste of leather to stoke not only the senses but more so specifically the memory.

If it’s weird and wonderful you’re looking for then El bulli, outside Barcelona is about technical wizardry and cyberfood. A gambas ( a large meditterrean prawn) has its head removed, flattened and then caramelised to make a wafer.

The brain juice is cooked and mixed with a stock made from the shells, then siphoned into little plastic tubes for service. The prawn tail is marinated then thread through nib of the plastic tube.

You suck the plastic tube as you swal-

SEARCH FOR THE HOLY GRAIL O’Looney’s Harold Cross Bridge In this new section Trinity News promises to bring you all the pubs in town that serve pints for under three euro. The fulcrum of this article is cheap. But a cheap pint doesn’t have to mean a bad pint. It is with this in mind that we are introducing a section on drinking on the bright side of three euro. If you are taste sensitive then turn away now. The sunny side of three euro per pint comes at a cost: the bar maids with hoof dentures, the funeral time music and the refreshing taste of antidesign. This is not Dawson street country.

In O’Looney’s a EUR20 note gets you just over seven pints of beamish. Its not in town but just a stroll to Harold’s Cross bridge. I went there with two well-seasoned drinkers and we left after an extra from One Flight Over The Cuckoo’s Nest approached us babbling and laughing at all the jokes we didn’t get or people we couldn’t see. She was harmless enough or was she? The problem with O’Looney’s is you can’t get drunk. You may keel over from alcohol poisoning once outside, put inside your body fights off alcohol, your mind is tempered by flaming wonderers circling the bar.

You’ll always be aware of your sanity because of the utter lack of it in the rest of the joe-smoes in there. The first customer we met was a part time barman. He looked older than my granddad when he died, so I put him at

roughly ninety-two. No front teeth but no front teeth were needed. Strictly a liquid diet.

There was an understudy barman who came to work as an undertaker. He had a jut (a gut with velocity and direction) that gave him all the charm in the world. He himself however had no allure, a watery type of personality, not bobbling stream but persistent leak. His colleague was Gunnery Sergeant Kill Fly. He had the spray and the determination.

From behind the bar he blitzed the encroaching flies, but never stepping from behind the bar for fear any maimed or injured fly would miss falling into the glasses.

The interior is a cross between “where have the old show bands gone” and a psychiatric common room. It is a dark and

dank lounge space with two plasma televisions blaring over the already supernatural air.

The Irish film and TV awards blasted out from the TV. It left the room with an even further hurly-burly feel. The glittering borrowed diamonds, the orange tinted skin and body builder smiles of the Irish TV world

€ 2.70

while the Hecate of O’Looneys screamed abuse and chanted misfortunes.

The beamish is very good, as nearly everyone was drinking the stuff. Lager drinking are catered for too, with a tenants on draught promotion buy three get one free.

Beamish

low the prawn. Ferran Adria, the man behind El bulli, has had the food described as Cubist and Surrealist. He comes from roughly the same area as Dali in the north east of Spain. The restaurant only opens from May to October. In the intervening months Adria and staff move into a state of the art science laboratory, El Bulli Taller, in Barcelona to prepare the next season’s menu. He now has several restaurant in Spain, helped by the fact that only a few

of his restaurant kitchen staff are paid.

The set menu is as follows: thirteen tiny snacks followed by ten larger ones, then tapas size tastes, then ten moderatesized plates finishing with three desserts and ten petit fours. He has been quoted as saying “cultured and modern cuisine isn’t for ruminants. It’s for trained gourmands who want intellectual stimulation”. A proud man.

Tuesday November 9, 2004

13

Trinity News FOOD & DRINK November The truth that lies in the I find that for all its bluster and squelch, November comes laden with lots of very fine root vegetables, a very fine nut, and lots of game. I’ve already got some snipe from a fellow student ,whom I still haven’t met, and it was delicious and appreciated. Food and drink can be an easy game of barter, especially valuable (in terms of indebtedness but not necessarily monetary) if someone has game. This is a good month to make Vin de Noix as per the recipe below, in France the first of November is traditionally the last day but there is still some to be had, (Check out the issue by issue Trinity Food & Drink guide for suggestions as to where). Its not a cheap recipe, about twenty to thirty euro, but the value in making it your own, as well as its restorative properties are infinitely more. Of all the vegetables in November none are as good as celery. It is the bridegroom of vegetables, rarely in a starring role but essential nonetheless. I have included a recipe that my good friend Catherine Kelly often cooks. As well as celery, parsnip, celeriac, cabbage and leek are all good. In terms of fruit there may be some new season apples, pears and pomegranates around that are worth taking home.

heart of virgin territory

Vin de Noix This is a version of a recipe from Stephanie Alexander, Cooking & Travelling in the South West of France.

5 Green Walnuts A bottle of red wine 180 ml of alcohol over 40 per cent proof 215 grams of sugar 1 cinnamon stick Cut each walnut into four pieces. Place everything in a stainless steel or glass container (however a glazed earthenware crock is preferable).

Cover and leave for two months, mixing well every week. Strain into sterilised jars and leave for a couple of weeks. Should be a wine bottle or so left.

Braised Celery For four as an accompaniment.

3 Sticks of Celery chopped into roughly 2 cm pieces.

200 ml of chicken or vegetable stock.

A small drop of plain olive oil 150 grams of butter.

Salt and Pepper to taste.

Put the butter and oil into a warm pan and add the celery once the butter has slowly melted. Turn up the heat slightly. The butter and oil mix should whisper a sizzle and will have begun to foam up. Make sure the celery is well coated. After several minutes, begin to add the stock slowly. At this stage you’re effectively feeding the celery and with it comes the inevitable flab as the celery’s severe form becomes limp. When the celery is done as to your liking just season with salt and pepper.

To turn the above recipe into a main course ( and very thrifty one at that) grate some parmesan over it and you have Celery a la Popoff from the Norman Douglas book Venus in the Kitchen.

Orlando Bridgeman The amount cookery writers throw around the ingredient ‘Extra-virgin olive oil’ is like wine writers filling their columns with which vintage champagnes one should drink each week. We are often advised to ‘fry your meat over a high heat’ using extra-virgin olive oil. This is plain absurd, since most of the delicate flavour of superior olive oil evaporates when subjected to the intensity of temperature. And yet no writer worth his or her salt would put ‘use any old cheap olive oil for frying this dish’ in their beautifully designed cookery book.

This, however, is exactly what we should be doing (being students after all.) Extra-virgin olive oil means the oil is made directly from the fresh fruit of the olive (i.e. it has not been refined) and has an acidity content of less than 1%. This results in a seductive and velvety smoothness, much as one would expect a bordello to taste like.

Thus, it is worth buying a small bottle of the good stuff for

salad dressings, ice-cream, and finishing dishes off. But for frying or deep-frying, plain olive oil is more than adequate, and does taste better than sunflower or vegetable oil.

And ordinary olive oil is generally composed of 15% extra-virgin olive oil in any case, in order to enhance the olive flavour.

Because I use olive oil so much, and get sick of spending a fortune on kiddie-sized bottles of indifferent tasting tat at Spar, I buy five litre tins of olive oil, which lasts me for four to six months.

Oriental and Asian shops are a good place to find cheap bargains.

Since the oil is in a tin and therefore protected from light, it lasts for a while as well. If you are a snob, you can decant this cheap ‘baking oil’, as my present oil describes itself, into an authentically posh looking Italian extra-virgin bottle.

Another thing that particularly irritates me is the habit of shops, often calling themselves ‘gift-shops’, to stick some chillies in a bottle of inconsequential olive oil and then fob it off on some unsuspecting foodie for the same

price as a bottle of Champagne at Café en Seine. Don’t be afraid to use their ideas though. Fill empty wine bottles with your recently purchased olive oil, and add flavourings according to your tastes, mood, store cupboard contents and adventurousness. If you have a friend who works in a pub or bar, get them to steal some freepourers (stylish and convenient for showing off), otherwise just stick an old cork in the top of the bottle.

Chillies and garlic are the first possibilities that crop up. My chilli oil got spicier by the day and after a fortnight was so strong that I had to oil it down, thus presenting one with a perfect opportunity for both practical jokes and economy.

The garlic oil was good but as time went on, the oil acquired a peculiar smell of ripe cheese.

Herbs also present a host of possibilities. A ‘mixed herbs’ bottle is wonderful, but any herb of your choosing is worth an experiment. Look out for houses around where you live that have rosemary in their front garden, which you can harvest on your return from the pub

late at night when everyone is asleep. If you can’t wait to see what it tastes like, or don’t want to devote too much oil to what could potentially be a disaster, pour a cupful or less into a saucepan with the flavouring, bring it to a gentle heat and leave for a while to infuse and then have a taste. Bear in mind that it will taste weaker than it might after a fortnight of infusing at room temperature. I have an idea for raspberry flavoured oil, which I will be experimenting with using this method next summer.

Bay is also a flavour that one never tastes on its own: it is always lost in the confusion of a soup or a stew, so it would be interesting to taste it through the medium of an oil.

Infusing might also be a good way for capturing the flavour of foods with short seasons.

Asparagus olive oil anyone? Don’t confine yourself to greens. I always save the oil from my canned anchovies, but why not put a can of anchovies in a bottle of olive oil. Scrambled eggs served with anchovy oil soaked toast seems like a good idea.

All this can be done with the cheapest olive oil but don’t exclude the expensive oil from your kitchen.

Uncooked and unflavoured cheap oil does taste harsh and aggressive, so do try and have a bottle of good stuff in your kitchen with which to make salad dressings, dress fish or meats for the grill or bruschetta. If you find yourself glugging through pints of extra-virgin olive oil (Guinness does me fine), Best of Italy (Dunville Avenue, D6) has a range of tins of quality oil and an even greater range of bottles with fancy labels.

The olive harvest has just finished and since olive oil goes stale, it might be worth buying your tins in the next month or so to give them the best chance of longevity.

Best of Italy will know which harvest their oil comes from; their cheapest oil at the moment is €19.

Be aware, however, that this young oil will taste almost aggressively peppery until around January, although a taste which matches well with bruschetta.

Wine Words

Trinity News Writers Wanted

The Food and Drink section is looking for inexperienced writers to babble on about their favourite pub as well as the trials and tribulations of living on the bread line.

If you think you are up the challenge of humourously documenting your nights of revalry please do contact us on:

foodanddrink@trinitynews.com

The Trinity Guide to all your food and drink needs. Issue by issue we ingest the best, on your behalf. Area by area we pick apart your locality. The marks next to the victors are to emphasise how well they do against the very best in Dublin. The total of the marks will give you an idea of which part of town is the real liver and legume of Dublin’s food and drink scene.

Ranelagh Best for booze: BerchinWatchthorne, 9 Dunville Avenue. 5/5, My favourite wine shop. Classic.

Best for spices and exotics: Best of Italy Dunville Avenue. 3/5 Best for meat: Morton’s Dunville Avenue. 4/5 Best for fruit and Veg: Best of Italy Dunville Avenue. 3/5 Best for stout: Symth’s, 75-77 Ranleagh Village. 3/5 Best for atmosphere: Russell’s of Ranelagh, 60 Ranelagh Village. 3/5 Best for the larder: Morton’s, Dunville Avenue. 4/5 Best for bread and cake: Gammell’s Delicatessen 33 Ranelagh Village. 3/5 Good croissant specials.

Best for cooking: Mint, 47 Ranelagh Village. 4/5 The kitchen deserve a better space.

Best for cheap eating: Take away at Punjab Balti.15 Ranelagh Village. 4/5 Ranelagh goes steaming ahead with 36/50. A first.

Plonk Plonk as Chamber’s Dictionary tells me “is probably a corruption of vin blanc.”

Australian in origin, it means more to me than an undistinguished wine. I’d go so far as to say it is a corruption of wine itself. There is a degree of inverted snobbery that hangs in the wine and not so wine world that a plonk will do for everyday drinking. It’s rather cool to say I went to France and spent the whole time just drinking a very

simple country wine. A plonk is still a plonk regardless of the oenological spin you put on it. And knowing the local buck who made it certainly doesn’t make it better.

Eating something rubbish when you’re hungry is fine. You may have little choice, but there is no excuse for drinking corruptions.

There are better drinks to have than cheap wine. Cheap beer is a watertight alternative to the warm gnats’ wee you see being drunk at parties.

White plonk is an abomination all of its own.

We all make mistakes in this wine world of ours. In terms of choice we are spoilt and some bad ones always get through. This great landscape of ours is littered with

pot holes of plonk and sadly we often don’t realise it until we have sunk to the dregs. Plonk has no monetary value. Some plonk is five euro and some is fifteen euro.

Plonk is not objective. It has evil tannins and makes you talk like you’ve swallowed a bottle of helium. It has enough acid to burn the hair that’s stuck in your shower drain. Its colour can vary from cold weather cheeks to blood clot red. It has a finish like divorce. I mightn’t enjoy certain wines, I think Barolo for instance is over rated but its not plonk. Plonk screams plonk. It is drunk by plonkers, which is a corruption of conkers or bonkers.

14

Tuesday November 9, 2004

Compiled by Wendy Williams

LISTINGS

THE NEXT FEW WEEKS IN DUBLIN.......

Tuesday 9th November COLLEGE Fianna Fáil: Weekly Meeting (12:00 PM - 1:00 PM) An eclectic mix of political chat, laid back discussion and regular guest speakers. All welcome!

Location: Seomra 6, Atrium Amnesty International: Letter Writing (12:00 PM - 3:00 PM) Come along and help compose and handwrite letters for our ongoing campaigns and any urgent actions we receive. All welcome any time between 12 and 3!

Location: Amnesty Society Room, House 6.2.1 Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Society: Tea & Coffee (1:00 PM - 3:00 PM) We provide tea and coffee in our Society room every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 1 to 3. For those of you who have not yet joined our lunchtime gettogether, come along, bring your lunch (friend/support group optional) and get to know the other members and committee. We are in house 6, the building in front square with the SU shop, and we are on the second floor. Just follow the signs.

Location: Room 27, House 6 Meditation: Meditation Class (5:15 PM - 7:00 PM) This class is a 6 week course which introduces two types of meditation : the mindfullness of breathing and Metta Bhavana (or Cultivation of Loving Kindness) meditation.

Course is free to all members.

Membership costs 3 Euro and you can join at the class. Don't worry if you miss any of the weeks - come along anyway - we will be repeating the course after Christmas.

Location: Room 50, Atrium Orchestral: Rehearsal (7:00 PM 10:00 PM) The weekly rehearsal of the D.U.Orchestral Society.

Location: Regent House Falun Dafa: Free Regular Class (7:15 PM - 9:00 PM) Teach the 5 sets of exercises of Falun Dafa. relieve stress, improve health, develop energy. Free of Charge. You can join at any week when you have time. Do not hesitate to get in even when you are late. Call 087 2980324 to enquire.

Location: Room 50 Modern Languages: Language Classes (7:00 PM - 9:00 PM) Classes in Arabic, English, French, German, Italian, Japanese, Russian and Spanish. Both beginner and intermediate levels, with experienced native speakers as teachers.

Only €35 for 8 weeks. Email modlang@csc.tcd.ie for more information.

Location: Trinity Arts Workshop: Life Drawing (7:00 PM - 9:00 PM) Life Drawing without instruction Location: 191 Pearse St BARS/ MUSIC/ CLUBS Live jazz at the International Bar, Wicklow St, D2, upstairs, entry is 7 Euro, starts at 9pm Ri-Ra; Bump’n’Hustle, Murfi provides the rare groove upstairs whilst Fionn davenport plays Latino hip-hop downstairs. Dame Court, D2, 11.30 till late, entry 7Euro.

On the Verge, The Hub, Eustace Street, original music talent from 8pm until midnight, followed by host Brendan Hikey, Dublin South 104.9fm presenter with special guest DJ’s. Free entry.

THEATRE From Monday 8th- Saturday 13th November the Pavilion Theatre in

Dun Laoghaire are holding ‘November fest’, a week-long mini festival of dance and physical theatre. Showing the Irish premier of ‘Pandora 88’ from Monday till Wednesday. A passionate and tender dance theatre piece in which one and a half square meter box holds the shared experiences and life paths of two men.

Wednesday 10th November COLLEGE Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Society: Tea & Coffee (1:00 PM - 3:00 PM) We provide tea and coffee in our Society room every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 1 to 3. For those of you who have not yet joined our lunchtime gettogether, come along, bring your lunch (friend/support group optional) and get to know the other members and committee. We are in house 6, the building in front square with the SU shop, and we are on the second floor. Just follow the signs.

Location: LGBT Room - 2nd Floor, House 6 Choral: Rehearsal (7:00 PM - 9:00 PM) Rehearsal of Britten's St. Nicolas and other Christmas selections, with a short break for refreshments. Followed by relaxation in Doyle's.

Location: Regent House

BARS/ MUSIC/ CLUBS The Kerbs are in Whelan’s on Wexford St at 8pm, entry 6 Euro.

‘Frog’ featuring Neosupervital/ La Rocca- a DIT music society gig.

Crawdaddy, corner of Harcourt and Hatch Streets, from 10pm till late, entry 6 Euro.

YO-YO in Red Box, Harcourt Street, D2. Pure pop student night, 10.30pm till late, free admission from 10.30-11.30pm and 5Euro after. Ladies free until midnight.

D-Basement, in Doyle’s Pub Fleet Street, D2, an eclectic mix of dance music from indie through breakbeat, soul through ska, and all the rest. Late bar till 2.30am. Free entry.

THEATRE Continuing Novemberfast the Pavilion Theatre will be showing ‘The Ridge’ at 6pm. A solo adaptation of the recent award winning piece ‘The Match’ by eminent American choreographer and writer Deborah Hay.

Monday Poker classic in the but-

Photographic: Repeat of Camera Lecture (7:00 PM - 8:00 PM) Emma will repeat her camera lecture for beginners, covering once more the basics of using a manual SLR camera, including aperture, shutter speed, depth of field, light metering etc. A must for all those new to photography or hoping to refresh their knowledge.

Location: Room 3106, Arts Block Comedy: Monty Python And The Holy Grail (7:00 PM - 9:00 PM) The Comedy Club presents the classic comedy, Monty Python and the Holy Grail in Room 2041b in the Arts Block. Mhairtin Ui Chadhaun Room (Half of the Swift Theatre). Free for members with free popcorn with reception to follow. Membership available at the door.

Location: Arts Block 2041b Trinity Arts Workshop: Life Drawing (7:00 PM - 9:00 PM) Life Drawing with instruction Location: 191 Pearse St

Wednesday 13 (featuring members of Slipknot) are in the Temple Bar music centre, starting at 7.30pm, tickets 17.50Euro.

Common Currency, Eamonn Dorans, Temple Bar, music, lunacy, cheap drinks, fun and lots more.

11pm till late, 7Euro.

Funk Off, Ri-Ra, two levels, rare groove upstairs and hip-hop downstairs. Dame Court, D2, 11.30pm till late, entry 8Euro.

Soul Fusion, Pravda Lower Liffey street, a funky night with DJ Jay Sharp mixing up a selection of jazz, funk, house, breaks and beats.

8pm till 1.30pm. Free entry.

Friday 12th November COLLEGE Christian Union: annual weekend away (6:00 PM - 12:00 AM) Should be a great weekend. Jason Lane (works with UCCF in England), will be speaking on "salt and light". Cost is 45euro (includes bus). If you want to go, sign up now by contacting one of the committee members. (Or sign up at your small group) Location: Ovoca Manor, Avoca Trinity Arts Workshop: Portrait Class (7:00 PM - 9:00 PM) Portrait Class with teacher Location: 191 Pearse St Dance: Dance Class (7:30 PM 9:30 PM) Weekly dance class. All welcome, new people and walk-ins encouraged.

Location: Regent House

Thursday 11th November COLLEGE

BARS/ MUSIC/ CLUBS

Amnesty International: Letter Writing Stand (12:00 PM - 3:00 PM) If you missed out on Tuesday's letter writing session, you can still stop by our stand in the Arts Block to sign a letter and pick up leaflets on the current campaigns.

Location: Arts Block

Jessie and Layla/ Medea/ Rebecca Collins/ Pram/ tba- a Ladyfest gig (various), in the Hub, Temple Bar from 7pm till late.

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Society: Tea & Coffee (1:00 PM - 3:00 PM) We provide tea and coffee in our Society room every Tuesday,

Tuesday Singer/Songwriter Open Mic in the buttery at 8pm. Free Beer for Performers ( as a little reward) In association

till 12am then more after.

guest speakers. All welcome!

Location: Seomra 6, Atrium

THEATRE Also a part of Novemberfast at the Pavilion Theatre renowned Dutch choreographer and dancer Frank van de Ven performs ‘Facing Up’ at 6pm.

St Petersberg Ballet present Swan Lake in the Helix in DCU. Saturday 13th November

BARS/MUSIC/ CLUBS Visual Arts: life drawing classes (7:00 PM - 9:00 PM) visual arts society life drawing classes with model and qualified teacher. All welcome. classes cost 4euro for members, 5euro for nonmembers. Materials will be provided. please come early as places are limited.

Location: Room 5052, the arts block

tery with the Card Society.Starts at 6.30

Plan for week coming

Wednesday and Thursday from 1 to 3. For those of you who have not yet joined our lunchtime gettogether, come along, bring your lunch (friend/support group optional) and get to know the other members and committee. We are in house 6, the building in front square with the SU shop, and we are on the second floor. Just follow the signs.

Location: LGBT Room - 2nd Floor, House 6

BARS/ MUSIC/ CLUBS Chuzzle, Sugar Club, Lower Leeson St, Dublin at 8pm, entry 12Euro.

Redemption, Spirit, Middle Abbey St, 10pm till late, 20Euro THEATRE St Petersberg Ballet present The Nutcracker in the Helix in DCU

Sunday 14th November BARS/ MUSIC/ CLUBS Jason Ringenberg/ Chuck Prophet (alt-country, cow-punk) in Whelans, Wexford St at 8pm, entry 17.50Euro.

Nylon, Traffic, Middle Abbey Street, Electro, hip-hop, disco and pop. 6pm till 1am, entry free.

Mambo City, Latin Dance Matinee, the Castle Inn, Lord Edward Street, Christchurch. A nightclub style mix of laidback NY mambo and fiery west coast salsa. Atmosphere perfect for those who want to dance or just watch. 8.30 till 11.00, mambo classes from 6.30pm, 9euro, 5euro.

Monday 15th November COLLEGE Internet: Committee Meeting (6:00 PM - 7:00 PM) Meeting to discuss matters related to the running of society. All members welcome. Do come if you want to get involved or have some advice.

Location: 4018 Arts Block Suas: Child Protection Training (7:00 PM - 10:00 PM) A child protection training session for everyone working with the Sheriff Street Children's Project homework club.

Location: Room 3025, Arts Block Trinity Arts Workshop: Sculpture and Mosaic (7:00 PM - 9:00 PM) A course in sculpting a piece from plaster before covering with mosaic Location: 191 Pearse St BARS/ MUSIC/ CLUBS Radio 4 / French Kicks in the Temple Bar Music Centre at 7.30pm for 17.50Euro.

Big Band/ Swing Night in Café En Seine on Dawson St from 10pm till midnight. Entry is free.

Amnesty International: Letter Writing (12:00 PM - 3:00 PM) Come along and help compose and handwrite letters for our ongoing campaigns and any urgent actions we receive. All welcome any time between 12 and 3!

Location: Amnesty Society Room, House 6.2.1 Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Society: Tea & Coffee (1:00 PM - 3:00 PM) We provide tea and coffee in our Society room every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 1 to 3. For those of you who have not yet joined our lunchtime gettogether, come along, bring your lunch (friend/support group optional) and get to know the other members and committee. We are in house 6, the building in front square with the SU shop, and we are on the second floor. Just follow the signs.

Location: Room 27, House 6 Fine Gael: Visit of Dr Liam Twomey TD (1:00 PM - 2:00 PM) Fine Gael's newest recruit and spokesman on health will visit TCD for a political cafe-questions and answers to whatever takes your fancy. Tea, Coffee and maybe even biscuits if you're lucky!

Location: Room 1 The Atrium Meditation: Meditation Class (5:15 PM - 7:00 PM) This class is a 6 week course which introduces two types of meditation : the mindfullness of breathing and Metta Bhavana (or Cultivation of Loving Kindness) meditation.

Course is free to all members.

Membership costs 3 Euro and you can join at the class. Don't worry if you miss any of the weeks - come along anyway - we will be repeating the course after Christmas.

Location: Room 50, Atrium Orchestral: Rehearsal (7:00 PM 10:00 PM) The weekly rehearsal of the D.U.Orchestral Society.

Location: Regent House

Afrimania, Club Ruby, Harcourt Street, a mixture of Latin and chart music. 10pm till late. Entry 10Euro

with the Music Society Wednesday Cult T.V Quiz with Durns. Buttery at 8pm Thursday Free Live Music in the buttery. Featuring Jessie

Choral: Rehearsal (7:00 PM - 9:00 PM) Rehearsal of Britten's St. Nicolas and other Christmas selections, with a short break for refreshments. Followed by relaxation in Doyle's.

Location: Regent House Visual Arts: life drawing classes (7:00 PM - 9:00 PM) Visual arts society life drawing classes with model and qualified teacher. All welcome. Classes cost 4euro for members, 5euro for nonmembers. Materials will be provided. Please come early, as places are limited.

Location: Room 5052, the arts block

Thursday 18th November

Trinity Arts Workshop: Life Drawing (7:00 PM - 9:00 PM) Life Drawing without instruction Location: 191 Pearse St

THEATRE

Zero Sun / Alia Glee, are in the Voodoo Lounge, Aran Quay, Dublin 7 at 8pm D-Basement, in Doyle’s Pub Fleet Street, D2, an eclectic mix of dance music from indie through breakbeat, soul through ska, and all the rest. Late bar till 2.30am. Free entry.

Wednesday 17th November

Grafitti, Red Box, Harcourt St, student night, featuring R’n’B, Hip hop, chart and funk. 10.30pm till late, 5Euro Backlash, wax, Powerscourt Town house, South William Street.

Thursdays are the new Fridays with House, hip-hop and Rock.

Free before midnight, 5Euro after.

JOYOUSFUNK’N’SOULMAXIMUS The Mezz, Eustace St, Funk, soul, ‘60s’ Exotica, disco.

Free entry.

Friday 19th November COLLEGE Trinity Arts Workshop: Portrait Class (7:00 PM - 9:00 PM) Portrait Class with teacher Location: 191 Pearse St Dance: Dance Class (7:30 PM 9:30 PM) Weekly dance class. All welcome, new people and walk-ins encouraged.

Location: Regent House

BARS/ MUSIC/ CLUBS The Gaiety Theatre, latest serving bar in Dublin with live music and DJ’s on three levels, 11.30pm till 4am.

Sketch, Slattery’s, Capel Street, everything from breaks to electro to funk house. 11pm till late. Entry 8Euro Kudos, Coyote Lounge, 80s, 90s, and today’s sounds mixed up!

D’Olier St, 10pm, 5Euro.

Saturday 20th November

DUPSA: Reception and Fundraiser! (8:00 PM - 9:30 PM) We are holding a wine reception, location undecided so far, and then are heading out to Down Under, where spot prizes and games are to accompany a joint night out with RCSI. E5 in at the door.

Location: Down Under

Modern Languages: Language Classes (7:00 PM - 9:00 PM) Classes in Arabic, English, French, German, Italian, Japanese, Russian and Spanish. Both beginner and intermediate levels, with experienced native speakers as teachers.

Only €35 for 8 weeks. Email modlang@csc.tcd.ie for more information.

Location:

Tuesday 16th November Rewind, Metropolitan, Eden Quay, start the weekend with classic cuts from 70s and 80s. 9pm till late.

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Society: Tea & Coffee (1:00 PM - 3:00 PM) We provide tea and coffee in our Society room every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 1 to 3. For those of you who have not yet joined our lunchtime gettogether, come along, bring your lunch (friend/support group optional) and get to know the other members and committee. We are in house 6, the building in front square with the SU shop, and we are on the second floor. Just follow the signs.

Location: LGBT Room - 2nd Floor, House 6

BARS/ MUSIC/ CLUBS

BARS/ MUSIC/ CLUBS

Soul candy, Metropolitan Bar, Eden quay, 11.30 till 2pm, 7Euro.

events will be taking place today, What's on? Street Collection, Snooker Tournament (with thanks to the GMB Snooker Rooms), Soccer Tournament, table quiz in the Buttery, and a night out. Join in the fun, and help us raise some serious dough! Keep an eye out for more details, on their way. Or go to www.tcdvdp.org Location: All over college

Falun Dafa: Free Regular Class (7:15 PM - 9:00 PM) Teach the 5 sets of exercises of Falun Dafa. Relieve stress, improve health, develop energy.

Free of Charge. You can join at any week when you have time. Do not hesitate to get in even when you are late. Call 087 2980324 to enquire.

Location: Room 50

Oh Yes, the Ballroom, Fitzsimons Hotel, Temple Bar, groovy tunes, 10pm till late.

The Irish Premier of ‘Playing Burton’, the international hit show that recreates the tortured and brilliant life of the great Richard Burton is at the Helix in DCU from Monday 15th to Saturday 20th November.

Trinity News

Tongue & Cheek, D|Two Nightclub, Harcourt hotel, Harcourt street. Party night with drinks promotions, 10.30pm till late. Entry 7Euro.

BARS/ MUSIC/ CLUBS Double trouble, Ri-ra, Dame Court, two floors, two styles of music. 11.30pm till late, 10Euro.

Fame, Kennedy’s, Westmorland Row, from rock to ska and new romantic to pop, this is Dublin’s longest running 80s night, now in its 3rd year. 11pm till late.

Concession priced admission before 11.30pm.

Sunday 21st November BARS/ MUSIC/ CLUBS

Space’n’Veda, The George, George Street, D2. Late bar. Entry 7Euro after 10pm

COLLEGE Amnesty International: Letter Writing Stand (12:00 PM - 3:00 PM) If you missed out on Tuesday's letter writing session, you can still stop by our stand in the Arts Block to sign a letter and pick up leaflets on the current campaigns.

Location: Arts Block Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Society: Tea & Coffee (1:00 PM - 3:00 PM) We provide tea and coffee in our Society room every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 1 to 3. For those of you who have not yet joined our lunchtime gettogether, come along, bring your lunch (friend/support group optional) and get to know the other members and committee. We are in house 6, the building in front square with the SU shop, and we are on the second floor. Just follow the signs.

Location: LGBT Room - 2nd Floor, House 6

Prophecy, Spirit, Middle Abbey St, 11pm till late, 10Euro Stone groove followed by Foot fetish in The Hub, Eustace Street, swing, jazz, soul and funk till 11.30 then disco, electro and twisted beats till 3am. Entry is free before 11.30pm then 8Euro (5Euro for students) Monday 22nd November COLLEGE Internet: Committee Meeting (6:00 PM - 7:00 PM) Meeting to discuss matters related to the running of society. All members welcome. Do come if you want to get involved or have some advice.

Location: 4018 Arts Block Trinity Arts Workshop: Sculpture and Mosaic (7:00 PM - 9:00 PM) A course in sculpting a piece from plaster before covering with mosaic Location: 191 Pearse St BARS/ MUSIC/ CLUBS Strictly Handbag, Ri-Ra, Dame Court, 11.30 till late, 7Euro

COLLEGE COLLEGE Fianna Fáil: Weekly Meeting (12:00 PM - 1:00 PM) An eclectic mix of political chat, laid back discussion and regular

And Layla There will be supports on the night and action kicks off at 8.

Friday Slave Auction in the Buttey starting at 8 In Aid of the Players Coop Your cahnce to own

Trinity Saint Vincent de Paul Society: VdeP Day 2004 (9:00 AM - 12:00 AM) VdeP Day 2004 is here! A day of fun and fundraising! A number of

some of colleges nicest folk ( if only for a day) Action for the week after Tuesday Live Music night with DURNS featuring Humplifunker and Mo'fro. Starts at 8pm

Trinity Arts Workshop: Life Drawing (7:00 PM - 9:00 PM) Life Drawing with instruction Location: 191 Pearse St

Liffey Life, Dice Bar, Queen Street, diverse sounds from Johnny Cash to Beck, making your weekend a little longer. 8pm till late.

Free entry.

BARS/ MUSIC/ CLUBS

Delerentos Wednesday Quiz as part of Vde P day. Starts at 8pm Thursday Live Music in the buttery in the Buttery at 8pm Nina Hynes, Director and

Friday Big Band Music Featuring the Warickshire University Big Band Live and dangerous Music starts at 9

Careers Editor: Wendy Williams

Tuesday November 9, 2004

15

Trinity News

CAREERS Dreams of being a high flyer?

Gareth Gavagan, a Trinity Graduate, talks to Wendy Williams about life after Trinity and his career as an Airline Pilot..

What course did you study at Trinity?

- MSISS [Management Science and Information Studies] Did it have any connection with what you do now?

- No, except some of the maths study was helpful when learning the physics of flight.

Does it matter what course you study if you later decide you wish to go into this field?

- Not really no. Being good at something engineering or sciencelike means you would probably be better at understanding the theoretical stuff of aviation, but it doesn't matter much. For example, some of the former jobs of airline pilots I know are: solicitor, doctor, dentist, marketing, pricing analyst (me), students of many various degrees, engineer, army officer, property developer, car sales, psychologist, IT analyst, City banker, architect, farmer etc etc. There are plenty more I can’t think of off the top of my head. Anyway, its varied as you

can see.

What impact did studying at Trinity have on you and your career?

- Socially, the best years of my life.

Biggest impact was probably a dodgy liver and realisation that I could probably retire now if Diageo didn't have all my money!

What do you feel you gained most from studying at Trinity?

- A good fall back position if I ever have to leave aviation for whatever reason.

What does your job involve?

- I am a First Officer so, in company with a Captain I fly a British Aerospace 146 jet around Europe with 100 people in the cabin whom I rarely see or think about. It involves a lot of paperwork, plenty of the Irish Times and the odd moment of sheer terror.

How did you get into it?

- Bored with college in 2000, applied for the Aer Lingus cadet pilot sponsorship programme, succeeded with application and was trained by Aer Lingus. Was in the

last week of my training when Sept 11 happened and all trainee pilots were immediately laid off.

How long have you worked there?

- In Cityjet since July 2003. Flying since June 2000, but after being let go by Lingus did my final year of MSISS and then worked in a couple of office jobs before getting flying job at CityJet. How long after graduating did it take you to find a job in your chosen career?

- From graduating from flying school to Cityjet job: 22 months.

What is the worst job you have ever had?

- I worked with AIB/BNY Fund Management for a few months after finishing MSISS. Far and away the worst job ever, the mindnumbing boredom and sheer drudgery of fund work is hard to describe, in far and away the least ambitious and most complacent company I have ever seen. Left at first opportunity.

Had you always had aspirations to becoming an Airline Pilot ?

- Yes and no. Always at the back of my mind but never seriously considered it until trying for the Aer Lingus sponsorship scheme. It's a seriously addictive profession though, once started there's no thought of much else jobwise.

What has been your career highlight?

- Getting a foothold in aviation is very very difficult so a toss up between getting my training sponsored by Lingus or getting the job with CityJet. What advice could you give to students from Trinity who would like to become a Airline Pilot?

- Don't even think about it unless you are 150% certain its the career you want. There is no career that I can think of that is even remotely as difficult to get a foothold in and that involves such heartache, difficulty and frustration on the way.

Where do all the graduates go?

Wendy Williams Ever worried that you don’t know where you are going in life or that your degree doesn’t actually qualify you for anything? Don’t despair! Having a degree from Trinity can take you a long way in many directions.

Each year the Careers Advisory Service (CAS) survey graduates to find out what people are doing almost nine months after leaving College.

The report from the class of 2002 showed that for primary degree holders, 59% went straight into employment (both full-time and part-time). Furthermore, whilst 45% found employment in Ireland, 14% emigrated.

The information received showed that UK companies continue to recruit heavily in the Irish market and the emergence in recent years of e-mail alert websites such as My Prospects and TargetedGRAD.com also reinforces this trend.

The most popular destinations for emigration were the UK, North America and other member states of the EU, illustrating that a degree from Trinity is recognised all over the world and you don’t have to be stuck in the same place all your life!

There’s more good news. As a student you will at some point have run out of money and may

well have mastered the art of surviving for a week off the change you find down the side of the sofa.

However, it seems this lifestyle may not last forever. Of those who declared their salary, 85% of primary degree graduates obtaining employment did so with a starting salary of €17,000 or more.

As regards, what graduates actually do when they leave, it seems for those graduating in 2002 the service sector was the most popular choice both in Ireland and overseas. Leaving aside the Health Service sector, the other most popular sectors were Banking & Finance and other Professional Services. This being said, if when you finish your degree you are still not ready for the world of work, it’s ok, there are other options.

From the survey, the percentage "still seeking employment" was 2.6%. The survey also showed that 31% where going on to Research work or Further academic study.

Of this group, 6% went abroad. Of the graduates who replied 7% fell in to the category "not available for employment or study" which, in the majority of cases meant they were taking a year out. According to the report this level of time out is not unusual when compared with the Census Data published during the year which showed that 25% of people aged 25-44 have spent at least a year outside of Ireland.

The survey also revealed more

specific trends relating to each Faculty. For those who graduated with an Arts degree in 2002, the service sector, with its varied range of roles, has tended to be the main destination. While some degree programs such as Psychology or Acting Studies are more vocational than others, the vast majority of graduates choose jobs which may have little connection with the subject matter of their original degree.

Even if you think your degree qualifies you for nothing, and lets face it, most of us who reside in the arts block have thought that from time to time, don’t despair.

Employers are interested in a wide range of skills making direct employment after a primary degree very feasible. In fact almost 50% of all graduate jobs which are advertised, do not specify a particular degree subject.

Alternatively, many students who graduate with an Arts degree opt for further postgraduate study in business, computing, law, and the media or undertake research related to their original discipline.

If we look at the Business, Economics and Social Science (BESS) course, we see that Business, finance and public services are favoured destinations for students from the BESS faculty.

Financial Services, including accountancy, have remained buoyant in recent years despite difficulties in other sectors. The public sector has also been an active

recruiter though, with the deterioration of the public finances in Ireland, opportunities may be more limited in the future. Not all public sector jobs are related to the specialist content of the degree such as economist or social worker.

There are also opportunities to work on policy-making and some graduates may choose to go into further study to gain specific skills or knowledge. Again though, many choose options unrelated to their degree.

In answer to the question, where do all the graduates go, it’s simple: everywhere. The general consensus of the survey for the students of 2002 is that whilst there are trends illustrating many of us will end up in the service sector, a degree from Trinity gives you the opportunity to do lots of things in lots of places. Don’t panic and don’t feel limited by your degree.

Similarly, don’t get complacent.

If you want to work in a competitive field you will most likely have to do some ground work now and for more vocational degrees you will need relevant experience.

My advice, research career, job and postgraduate options and visit the CAS website, but don’t feel that by doing an Arts degree for example, that you are destined to be serving fast food for the rest of your life.

Language barriers in work experience short phone interview, I had honestly (retrospectively, naively) expected to spend the summer photocopying and making coffees. On the first day, however I was assigned to my own desk, complete with phone and computer, then handed a list of responsibilities, all in French! Panic! I suddenly found myself to be a communications assistant in the head office of one of Europe’s fastest growing tourist companies. Rather ironic considering the difficulties I had myself communicating within the office; aforementioned problematic nouns

come to mind!

For the first month every time the phone rang my heart skipped a beat. It was like rehearsing for my Leaving Certifcate aural all over again, only this time, “I didn’t get that one” resulted not in the potential losing of points for yourself but the realistic prospect of losing money for the company and approval from your boss.

My responsibilities included everything from laminating posters to organising the mailing of over 2000 company brochures. Most enjoyable of all was the occasional

Alesya Krit reviews doctorjob.com People everywhere are dreaming that there would be more hours in a day so they could manage with everything in their lives, but as a student, you are often just lying on a couch and watching useless rubbish?! You need a doctor!

Just think about it. The images that young people from Eastern Europe have with Western European employment opportunities are 3 GOODs: good job, good money and good experience. You have a wonderful opportunity. You are young, ambitious, wanting to see the world and have some extraordinary work experience. If you already have some knowledge in the relevant area - then all you need is a little piece of advice.

It’s high time to go to a doctor, so lets have a look at the www.doctorjob.com site. As the ‘no 1 graduate careers website’ the name sounds promising. It is possible to have the information in German and French as well so international “infected ones” can also have a closer look at this job resource.

Don’t be afraid to go there! The atmosphere is very friendly and welcoming. A lovely virtual lady will meet you as soon as you come and accompany you during your whole stay. There is no reason to doubt their professionalism, as

their search system contains over 370 employers and around 25,000 vacancies. So it’s a great opportunity to find a job either in Ireland or in Europe. Convenient links to websites of employers will also help you to get exact details of what they are looking for, connecting you directly.

It’s definitely the site for everyone: for those who only “caught a flu” but are still in the habit of everyday exercise, i.e. regular tests and exams, social and sport life, or the so called “prospective students”, who are only about to choose university. For them this webpage gives them an opportunity to look at some careers of post grads from these universities.

Everybody is welcome, both “infected ones” to get some help and “healthy ones” to share their experience. There are a number of articles about student loans, graduate loans and graduate bank accounts, some notes on easy jobhunting, careers services links, tips on writing CV templates and covering letters.

On this webpage there is an opportunity to visit a special regular “clinic”. For that you only have to register and they'll e-mail you details of jobs, employers, courses and news in your chosen careers

Writing the Right CV

A Curriculum Vitae is the first line of communication between applicant and prospective employer. It is usually a brief preliminary reading of CVs that determines who proceeds to the next stage of recruitment, so it’s worth learning how to write yours effectively.

Before you begin: Think about what the employer is looking for and plan your application to show that you have the relevant skills for the job. Learn about the company, contact them and ask for a job description and any other information.

Covering letter: This is your chance to convince the reader that you have something special to bring to the organisation.

Use business letter format. Write your contact details in the top right with date below on the left, fol-

‘Stapler’, ‘folder’, ‘paperclip’, it’s amazing how much we can ake our knowledge of simple nouns for granted. This summer I departed for three and a half months to do an internship in France. Studying European Studies a summer abroad, although recommended, is not obligatory, (the obligatory Erasmus year comes later!).

However, the combination of post exam shock teamed with the prospect of another summer in the rain proved motivation enough.

After having found the placement on the Internet, following a

Time to visit the Doctor

opportunity to design advertisements for such publications as Figaro and Paris Match. Being one of the few fluent English speakers in the office, I was often asked to translate contracts and letters.

Furthermore, being the only Irish person in the office, I was sometimes transferred calls from Irish customers, most of the French workers seemed to have learned their English in America and were consequently somewhat baffled by the idiosyncrasies of the Irish accent.

There were times, throughout the

lowed by an address. Type your name at the bottom and sign above it. Refer to the advertisement, outline your current situation and what attracts you to the job.

Highlight your suitability, listing skills relevant to the job description. End with the statement: "I am available for interview at your convenience". Covering letters should not exceed one page in length.

Curriculum Vitae: This is a list of relevant experiences, ordered into groups. For example you could follow the sequence of Personal details, Education, Experience, Hobbies and interests and Referees. Do not exceed two pages of size 12 Times New Roman or Arial font. Include institution/corporation, dates and a brief description of experience/achievement. Present

sectors.

There is also “an ambulance service”, which you can easily recognize by WANTED NOW! icons.

They do not appear on a regular basis but rather, as and when a company, who does not frequently search for employees, has vacancies.

Sue Hawksworth, Senior careers adviser, University of Leeds says of the site, ”I always tell my students to have a good look at doctorjob.com. It's a fun site, which they like, but it's also packed with excellent information. I think the profiles are particularly useful. They speak to students and new graduates directly, and the messages they give are identified with immediately.”

Christine Blaymire, Careers adviser, University of Salford says ”doctorjob.com is so full of useful information that I recommend it to ALL the students/graduates I interview. It's easy to navigate and contains excellent advice on anything you might want to know about recruitment and how to get a graduate job. If you only have time to use one website - this is my choice.”

To cut a long story short- it’s a nice place! Go and recover!

- tips by Myles Gutkin

items concisely, in reverse chronological order (beginning with most recent). Assign more space to the most relevant experiences and achievements.

Skills-based CV: If the target job doesn’t appear to match with your career direction to date, it may be appropriate to use a skills-based style. List skills in order of relevance to the job, then describe when and where they were gained and applied.

The Resumé: According to the 2004 Careers Service Guide, American corporations prefer the resumé. In this format, you begin with a brief objective, stating your career plan within the corporation. Here it is particularly important to understand the goals of the organisation so that yours can match. Resumés are

brief, one-page outlines, and do not include referee details. Instead, end with the words, "References available on request".

Final Touches: You can keep a digital copy of your CV and covering letter, but always personalise them to the target job. The prospective employer must feel that you have carefully chosen to respond to their advertisement. Ensure that your contact details are up to date, and ensure that your email address is not inappropriate.

TCD’s Careers Advisory Service runs seminars on writing a CV (see www.tcd.ie/Careers). Also, see doctorjob.com and gradireland.com

Iverna McGowan-Smyth talks about her summer in France and the ‘what to do’s’, and ‘what not to do’s’ when working abroad. summer when I really had to call on the “if it doesn’t kill me it will make me stronger” mantra. One of the factors that had initially attracted me to this particular placement was that they offered accommodation. I arrived to find a building that looked like something that may once have aspired to the status of hotel. I later discovered its last function had been as a brothel. I even had red satin on the inside of my door…very Moulin Rouge!

What really made it all worthwhile for me were the other students that I met there from all over

the world. We laughed together about the dodgy state of our accommodation and spent weekends together sunbathing by the lakeside with the backdrop of magnificent Alpine scenery.

To anyone considering doing an internship abroad, I would recommend that you talk to someone who has already done one with that specific company. The website www.workabroad.com offers many useful links, as well as a free newsletter which you can receive by email to keep you updated on opportunities. Many companies

really do exploit student interns and there can be, as I found, an extreme lack of professionalism.

So what did I gain from my summer? I shall have to be cliché and say definite ‘life experience’! I gained much more practical command of the French language, lots of new friends but most of all an appreciation of the freedom of student life.

This is one student who is not ready for the world of work quite just yet!

16 Tuesday November 9, 2004

Science Editor: Kirsten Bratke

Trinity News Sexy Science A tiny new ancestor

SCIENCE

This week, Jane Ferguson investigates unjustly condemned solo-sex offenders - why is masturbation still a taboo?

THANKS TO POPULAR television shows and an increasing public acceptance of sexuality, masturbation is no longer a deeply shameful subject that must remain hidden and unmentioned.

Nevertheless, there are still many people who condemn this activity, denouncing it as wrong and unnatural.

While science has yet to come up with any specific proof that masturbation is especially good for you, animal studies have certainly shown that it is not an unnatural pleasure confined to members of the human race. Many species of animal indulge in some self-pleasuring, and for some, it is in fact a vital part of the mating ritual. Come with me as I lead you through the weird and wonderful world of animal solo sex…

When a female porcupine is beginning to become sexually receptive, she uses a branch or some other object, carefully placed between her legs, to stimulate herself in the absence of a suitable partner. As a female porcupine only comes into heat for 4 hours once a year, she needs a lot of practice to make sure that when the time comes to mate, she’s in top form! The male porcupines, deprived of sex for most of the year, will also often use a convenient sex aid when there are no willing females to be found. Dogs also engage in frequent masturbation, and anybody whose leg has been on the receiving end of canine affection will be well aware of this.

Animals also have erogenous zones separate from their genitals that can be used in masturbation. Stags can rub their antlers against a tree or bush, and this inevitably leads to ejaculation within a short time. Since they also use their antlers in vicious fights-to-thedeath (generally over a female), we see how intricate the link between the pleasure of sex, and the protection of one’s access to sex really is. Male elephants can use their trunks to stimulate themselves, whereas females, who cannot reach themselves with their trunks, often engage in mutual masturbation with a female friend. Monkeys and apes, close relatives of humans, masturbate frequently, and have the advantage of being able to use their hands, feet, tail and mouth for this activity! (And we think that we improved upon ourselves by diverging from this lineage?)

Even dolphins are avid practitioners of self-love, and will position themselves beside jets of water for some self-indulgent water-park fun.

So next time you get one of those

annoying email forwards telling you that humans are the only species that enjoy sex, you can just delete it straight away. After all, why would animals masturbate if they don’t even enjoy it?

If the same email contains the useless but interesting “fact” that a pigs’ orgasm lasts 3 hours, I can’t really comment on that. It’s probably just as fictitious as everything else you read online, but if I ever come across a pig that will kiss-and-tell, you’ll be the first to know!

What we learn from observing animals in their most intimate moments is that masturbation is as important a part of sex as the act itself. Sex is not only about reproduction. Of course the ultimate aim of sex is to further the race, but the only way animals, and humans, can be motivated to have sex, is to enjoy it. Masturbation is a way for individuals to prepare themselves for sex. It is also an activity that can reduce stress and promote bonding between individuals of the same or opposite sex. As well as engaging in mutual female masturbation, the bonobos frequently have group sex, to celebrate group events such as finding food. While this may serve as an outlet for joy and celebration, it is presumably also a way of forming close group bonds, to prevent jealous fights occurring between the members of the group over shared food or other communal resources.

Our bodies have been optimised to have strong sexual urges. After all, none of us are descended from virgins, so we have a long lineage of sexual desire to fulfil. The basic point is that without sexual urges, we as a species die out. Masturbation can also allow a person to explore their own body, and achieve an understanding and a love of themselves, which is essential for forming healthy relationships. So where did the current sense of shame and disgust that some people feel come from?

Whether it was plucked from a poisoned apple-tree in the Garden of Eden, or arose from a heightened sense of self-awareness as our brains became bigger, and a placing of value on selfdenial of pleasure arose; feeling shame about self-indulgence is something intrinsic in our race. As attitudes towards sexuality become more open, what will be the next “masturbation”?

Smoking, eating chocolate, drinking alcohol? The gate is opening for a new taboo.

Discoveries in Eastern Indonesia of a new species of hominid cause scientists to re-think the current model of human evolution.

Kirsten Bratke ARCHAEOLOGISTS HAVE made an astonishing find on the island of Flores in eastern Indonesia: the remains of a female hominid that was classified as a new species. The bones of an almost complete skeleton and additional teeth and bones from at least seven other individuals were found in September 2003 by a group of Australian and Indonesian scientists but after detailed analyses the papers have only been published in this year’s 28th October issue of Nature.

The individual has been called Homo floresiensis, or Flores Man, (despite being the skeleton of a woman) and is believed to be of a separate species because of its “combination of primitive and derived features”, according to the

paper by palaeoanthropologist Peter Brown of the University of New England in Armidale, Australia, and his colleagues.

Flores Man was a small species, only one meter tall, which has already led to the nickname “Hobbit”. His brain is one-third the volume of a modern human, he had a prominent brow ridge and no chin, yet a small and delicate face like humans today and the teeth are a similar size to our own. The mixture of features seemingly borrowed from Homo sapiens, Homo erectus and the more ape-like Australopithecine is intriguing and can provide new and exciting information about human evolution: Homo sapiens, our own species, is believed to be about 200,000 years old and according to the widely accepted “out of Africa”hypothesis evolved only once, in

Africa, and started migrating around the world 100,000 years ago. Homo erectus is another hominid and our closest relative.

Bones of this species have been found on Java, a neighbouring island to Flores, dated to 1.6 million years ago. Homo floresiensis, the new man, may be the descendant of Homo erectus. Its diminutive size may be the result of a process called “island dwarfing”, which is well known from other mammals. Limited resources on the island provide an environment where smaller individuals are at an advantage and after many generations the majority of Flores people would have adapted to these conditions, accelerated by inbreeding. As no bigger relatives have been found on Flores, however, it is not certain that the dwarfing took place on the island.

Small human-like creatures like the hobbits may not have been Tolkien’s invention

FANTASTIC FOODS Forget the Buttery ... here’s the A-Z of healthy foods

Fish IF YOU DON’T LIKE the taste of fish, or “Finding Nemo” and “Shark Tale” have put you off eating those cute lil’ things, it might be time for you to put aside your misgivings and give fish another try. Although fish has got some bad press, due to the high concentrations of some chemicals and heavy metals that are found in it, the health benefits are still great enough for fish to be a worthwhile part of your diet. Oily fish are especially rich in omega-3 fatty acids, which are pretty much the only animal fat that is actually good for us.

White fish has less omega-3, but is still a healthy choice, and is good for people who don’t like fish, as the taste is less strong. Omega-3 fatty acids lower blood pressure, thus counteracting the damaging effects of other animal fats, and helping to prevent heart disease.

New research indicated that eating oily fish eases symptoms in asthmatics.

In a group of recognised asthmatics, those that ate little or no oily fish reported many more symptoms such as wheezing and breathlessness than those who regularly included oily fish such as sardines, herring, salmon or mackerel in their diet. Tuna is also an oily fish,

but only when it is fresh. The canning process strips it of much of its oil; so tinned tuna counts as a white fish.

The oils in fish are beneficial to beauty as well as health. To help psoriasis or dry skin, one or two portions of oily fish a week should be sufficient. Cod liver oil can also be taken, and is available in capsule form to avoid any unpleasant taste. The oil also helps keep your bones and teeth healthy.

Your brain needs a lot of oil to keep the neurons happy and healthy, and omega-3 fatty acids can help slow down or prevent dementia. They are also essential in the developing brain, so if you are pregnant, make sure you get enough omega-3 to keep your baby ahead of the class.

Unfortunately there are health risks associated with eating fish but in general, up to 2 portions a week are fine for the average woman, with men being able to safely eat up to 4 portions.

Pregnant women should be more careful, and should avoid fish such as swordfish and shark, and should keep their intake of tuna low.

So the take-home message is to keep on eating fish, but maybe limit those all-you-can-eat sushi sessions to special occasions!

by Jane Ferguson

Science Week 2004 November 7th to 14th sees the return of Ireland’s Science Week, according to the organisers “bigger and better” than ever before. For the eighth time events will be held all over the country for all ages and all levels of interest in science, technology and engineering.

Science magician Paul McCrory with his travelling show “Magic, science or mystery” is one of the main attractions, as are various other touring presentations. My favourite so

far is the “Spider Challenge” which asks children to record their sightings of Daddy Longlegs, as scientists believe this spider is getting more common in Ireland.

There will be everything the scientific heart desires from forensic workshops to lectures, online maths competitions, exhibitions, a screening of Dr. Strangelove, pet care and a hands-on science experience in the Pfizer bus. Check out more at www.science.ie/scienceweek.

The remains of the Flores Man have been preliminarily dated by four separate techniques to be about 18,000 years old. Homo sapiens had already settled on the South Pacific islands by that time which means that there was considerable overlap in time between the two species but Mike Morwood, an archaeologist at the University of New England concedes that we “do not know if or how the two species interacted” and it is agreed that Homo floresiensis probably did not contribute to the gene pool of Homo sapiens. Still, the fact that such a recent species of hominid (or hominin, after a new classification) has gone unnoticed until now, makes it seem likely that there might be others like the Flores Man still out there. “We anticipate further discoveries”, states the Morwood paper. Peter Brown, who led the analysis of the bones, was fascinated by the find. “I was clearly in shock”, he says in an interview with Nature. “I knew this was the skeleton of a biped, but it had the brain size of a chimpanzee and was alive perhaps as recently as 14,000 years ago. It seemed impossible. Still does!”

The team were originally hoping to find evidence of the initial arrival of modern humans on the island. At the same site, a limestone cave at an altitude of 500 m, they also found the remains of a pygmy elephant, the extinct Stegodon, as well as bones from a Komodo dragon, a giant lizard. Stone tools found at the site also indicate that the Flores people hunted juvenile Stegodons. This is a controversial view, as the tools were deemed too advanced for someone with the brain size of Homo floresiensis.

The actual discovery was made by scientists from the Indonesian Centre for Archaeology in Jakarta, on an excavation led by Thomas Sutikna. The skeletons were found in delicate condition, with a “consistency of mashed potatoes”, and preservation was handled extremely well by the Indonesian team, for whom the discovery has become one of national pride.

Homo erectus settled on the island 900,000 years ago, probably reaching it over a temporary land bridge. More bones need to be dated now to see whether this species was short-lived or survived for longer. It would be extremely useful, if DNA were found in the bones, as this would make it possible to examine the relationship between Homo floresiensis and modern humans in more detail.

Morwood believes that the future research focus of the field will be on other islands in Southeast Asia.

Closer attention will be paid to previously found isolated teeth and bone fragments. He suggests that the “out of Africa” hypothesis may be a little too simplistic. ”Asia may have played a much more prominent role in these issues than adherents of the simplistic 'Out of Africa' explanation for everything would have us believe.”

The discovery of Homo floresiensis may give new credit to tales of mystical shy ape-men who have their place in local folk-tales. Even stories of the Yeti and other manlike creatures may have a grain of truth in them, now that we know humans co-existed with other species as recently as 18,000 years ago.

The reaction to the find seems to be an almost gleeful one on www.icr.org, the website of the institute for creation research, as the creationists feel that the scientific view of human evolution has been dealt a blow, somehow (inexplicably) giving their own ideas more credit.

In human evolution, one species was not succeeded by the next in an orderly fashion but rather species lived alongside each other until it transpired that one was better adapted than the other and one prevailed while the other became extinct. In this way, the Flores Man makes it even more obvious that modern humans are not the culmination of evolution but merely currently the best-adapted bipeds.

Wonder, delight and panic Take a stroll through the universe with Bill Bryson’s “A Short History of Nearly Everything” SINCE TRAVEL WRITER Bill Bryson was awarded the Aventis Prize for Science Writing in June, this book has been on the bestseller lists and one of the most hyped-up popular science books around.

In a book whose title claims to offer so much, it would be easy to quickly bore the reader or make him give up altogether, but Bryson doesn’t let that happen. He takes each major area of science at a time and gives an account of what was discovered when and by whom. I was hooked right from the introduction where he outlines just how much time, luck and mind-boggling defying of all odds it took for the reader to be a human being at this moment. I was hooked through the birth of the universe, the science on an extremely large scale, all the way down to the world of microbes and atoms and even through geology, which, I have to admit now, does indeed rock.

Bryson ends with a few chapters on humans, those complicated bipedal apes, who, despite appearances, are only one of nature’s many experiments and whose evolution and civilisation represent no more than a tiny snapshot in the history of the Earth. (see also “A tiny new ancestor” this page) They are, he writes, “the living universe’s supreme achievement and its worst nightmare simultaneously”.

“A short history” manages to take the reader to great scientific depths – I have never been so close to understanding of Einstein’s theory of relativity – without ever becoming too technical. In fact, Bryson

makes do with using just one equation throughout the entire book, and that’s not even a difficult one.

While the universe and the Earth are clearly the protagonists here, Bryson puts great emphasis on his human supporting characters, the scientists. Embellishing their little quirks and oddities – all scientists seem to have them – he makes them more endearing and familiar to the reader. Carolus Linnaeus, for example, the respected founder of the Linnaean system of nomenclature we use for every organism was apparently a raging sex-maniac, naming whole species after female body parts. Carl Scheele, a Swedish chemist who discovered oxygen amongst several other elements, died because he made it a rule to taste a little of every chemical he worked with. Isaac Newton did not shy away from self-experiments either, he was known to insert a needle into his eye socket and rub it around in his head, just to see what would happen. Men like these almost serve as comic relief in a book so full of sometimes shocking facts that it could otherwise be quite overwhelming and hard-to-swallow.

The cover promises a story full of “wonder and delight”. This might be true but it is also full of things that should have obliterated life on Earth long ago or will do eventually: There is the meteoroid hit, a long overdue gigantic volcano eruption or a supernova occurring within 500 light years of us, to name just a few. Add to that the slow loss of our gravitational pull

on the moon or the reversal of the Earth’s magnetic field, both coupled with a great variety of hazardous effects, and you’d be forgiven to panic. But then – it was so unlikely that we made it here in the first place that we couldn’t really complain should this lucky streak end.

Bryson does not merely list all the great men and women of science, the Nobel Prize winners, inventors and other household names; he leaves room for the people who didn’t quite make it.

The overlooked geniuses, the ones that started an idea but never got any credit for it and the ones who were just plain unlucky. One memorable example was a French expedition in the 18th century setting out to measure the length of one degree and the circumference of the Earth and slowly losing almost every group member to illness, accidents, insanity or murder.

Shortly before the remaining men after ten years finally got their results, another group found the answer first. And that’s what science is like: made up to a large part of trial, error and often failure, and this makes “A short history…” even more real.

In addition to all the more conventional scientific information you will also learn why the static in your TV is a souvenir from the Big Bang, what the origin of the “She sells sea shells…” tongue twister was, how life may have originated on a meteor that crashed into the

Earth and who dated the creation of the Earth to the exact date of October 23, 4004 BC. By the way, if you ever thought that a specific scientific discipline was coming to an end, that all had been discovered and explained, this book should leave you confident that there is tons of work to be done and glory to be found in each area.

Bryson makes it clear again and again that we are nowhere near the end of our search for knowledge, be it in botany, genetics or astrophysics. A great example of this is the chapter on our solar system consisting of “four rocky inner planets, four gassy outer giants, and a tiny, solitary iceball”. Since the book was published in 2003 a tenth planetoid has been added, the

even tinier S e d n a .

Frequently, he mentions how a certain idea was so far ahead of its time that it went unnoticed or ridiculed until a century later it won a Nobel Prize for a different person. (If you have a really wacky theory today, hold on to it, it might be great eventually.)

So if you’re, like me, a science enthusiast who doesn’t know a whole lot about science, or, like the author, a non-scientist with a profound puzzlement as to how the hell people know all this stuff, or even someone who just needs a little perspective on human life and all its insignificant problems – this book is simply brilliant.

by Kirsten Bratke

SU & Societies Editor: Ed Reilly

Tuesday November 9, 2004

Trinity News

17

SU & SOCIETIES

Societies Profile: The Little, Medium and Large of Trinity Life Ed Reilly gets to grips with some of college’s best known societies and asks them some tough questions.

Ed Reilly The role of societies within the student community at this university cannot be underplayed. As an integral part of what our own Provst John Hegarty refers to as the ‘Trinity experience’, the society system provides a vital extra dimension to our college lives.

Right from Freshers’ Week every new undergraduate is made well aware of the various extra-curricular activities on offer, and in turn, the particular society he/she might feel compelled to join. In this edition Trinity News have been afforded the chance to interview the Presidents of three very contrasting societies –The Philosophical society, One World and Card Soc. Asked candidly about their societies’ roles within Trinity, Paddy Cosgrave (Phil President), Lara Whyte (Head of One World) and Niall Hughes (Chair of Card Soc), give an insight into the functioning of various societies from the top.

All three represent very different axioms of the CSC both in ethos and scale. They reveal the richness and diversity of society activity on offer at this university, as well as showing just why involvement in such societies can be so rewarding.

Paddy Cosgrave - ‘The Phil’ In the last couple of years the Phil has managed to attract a list of high profile speakers who have catered for a variety of tastes.

Why then, in your view, has the society provoked such hostility in some circles and how would you respond to these critics?

I have a sensed a small amount of hostility but nothing significant, there will always be critics. I have heard that some small societies take issue with us. It is understandable. However, what I do find unacceptable is any society that wastes the college’s money on booze-ups and parties, and contributes in no significant way to the so-called ‘Trinity experience’, levelling criticism on our door. There are a fantastic amount of brilliant societies in this college. They include scores of small societies, medium societies and large societies. But, that been said, there are scores of societies that serve no purpose other than to spend College funds on boozing and partying, and little else. They should, in my mind, be dissolved. Thereafter, the money saved should be given to the more active and worthwhile small societies.

Last year your cousin was President of the Phil, your younger brother is already quite prominent in the society and is widely tipped as a future President himself. Is nepotism a feature of the Phil?

Last year’s President was my

third cousin, twice removed, and of no blood relation whatsoever.

I think I could say that about a lot of people I know from Ireland.

Ireland is a small place. My brother has no ambitions to become President, at least as far as I know. He was elected on merit. If you are a worthwhile candidate you will get elected

Drink Soc, and The Phil, and it was a resounding success.

Technically the only determinant society size has on your grant is the amount to get for your main meeting (booze).

What forthcoming events and speakers can Trinity students look forward to from the Phil?

Well as anyone who has been in the Buttery this year will know, we hold poker tournaments regularly. We’re hoping that by next term we’ll have every second Wednesday. This will work well with the structure of events that the ents officer has been putting on in the buttery. We also hold tutorials every Tuesday in the JCR at 5 for anyone interested in learning to play cards. The 1st ever Dublin Intervarsity Poker Tournament will be held in a top Dublin hotel in January. We’re looking at a celebrity poker event in the exam hall, and even the possibility of a strip poker event.

I think Eddie Irvine will be a cracker on Thursday 11th of November at 6:45pm. Following that we have a debate on Globalisation at 7:30pm. One of the keynote speakers is Clarke S. Judge. He was Reagan’s personal assistant, and by far his most famous speechwriter. Following that Greg Dyke will be speaking on the 23rd of November at 12:30pm in the GMB, infamous historian Niall Ferguson will be here on the 25th of November beginning at 7:30pm in the GMB. Trinity SU - a fully representative body of Trinity Students or a society unto itself full of hacks.

Could the Phil do a better job?

On a personal note, I think most of the SU should be disbanded and all power should be handed over to the Phil. No you idiot, it serves an important purpose, flawed as it might be.

Of all the societies profiled in this feature which would you most like to join and why?

I think I owe One World at the moment most, so probably them.

An Honorary President for Trinity students - Matt the Jap or Joe Gorman?

Well it would be a very tough call. Joe is a lovable rogue, Matt writes me long letters. Is it a case of age before beauty, or perhaps the opposite? I have heard rumours that both Joe and Matt will be running for council in the Phil next year. Inevitably I think we would have to draw lots, as there is a conflict of interests. It is difficult one to decide.

What forthcoming events can we look forward to from your society Niall?

Niall you managed almost singlehandedly to convert the Bridge society into the present card society which has one of the highest in memberships of all societies in college? What tips would you give to those who wanted to start up their own societies in college?

Within 6 months the society went from the Bridge Society of 11 members to the Cards Soc of 311 members. When setting up a society to have to try to gauge the demand for such a society. Card playing and poker in particular has soared in popularity all over the world in the past 2 years. In this way the time was ripe for a cards society. If you want your society to succeed you need “energy, drive & commitment” (didn’t seem to work for Royston Brady though).

It takes a while to figure out the working of Society life and the CSC. After that you just have to be ruthless in postering and ensure that you’re putting on the events that people want to go to.

What forthcoming events can Trinity students look forward to from your society in this year?

This week sees Palestine Awareness week kick off with an event on every day and night be it talks from peace activists (monday) the wall must fall gig in the Sugar Club (tuesday) film screening of Palestinian film Frontiers of Dreams and Fears on Wednesday and our talk on Thursday by Mr de Rossa among others with some palestinian food and treats and finally on friday we have a meeting on the student experience of Palestine where Trinity students who have been in palestine will be and telling how to get involved. We also have our annual Iraqi Night coming up on the 23rd of November with Kalid Ibram from Iraq email us oneworld@csc.ie or check out the website. As you can see this year is going to be mad and this is just a snippet. We can't wait!

I'm of the belief that society activity should be incorporated and accredited as part of the under-

graduate degree programme.

How realistic, and with what degree of support if any would your society give to such a restructuring?

Absolutely would support the incorporation of society activity into credit for your degree.

Would personally love it. What I think is amazing about the CSC and societies in college is that people work so hard and no one gets credit or paid or anything, it is motivated only by pure personal reasons and i wouldn’t like it to lose this .

One society official I spoke to described One World members as 'tea drinking hippies who follow a trendy leftist agenda and ultimately get nothing done'. Do you think this is a crass criticism that insults what you are trying to achieve?

Obviously I think its a crass criticism and utterly untrue. I wish we were tea drinking hippies! we would probably be a lot less busy. Though even if we were drinking tea we would make sure it was fair trade because as we all know at this stage if its not fair trade the people who made the product did not get paid adequate living wage and essentially everyone who buys or supports fair trade is doing something no matter how

small. We are free from stale party political agendas and I feel this is a massive help as it allows us to work with as broad as possible perspective of people. We dont try to solve the world’s problems, I find this particular part of the quote deeply problematic as it makes it out like the world problems will always be there and that they were not articifally created by unjust trade agreements, ridiculously over inflated loan repayments and drug companies preferring their obscene 30 billion profits per year to saving lives. 1 percent of the income of the the top 10 percent of the world earners could eradicate world hunger, this is a fact. Informing ourselves and others about the world and actually mobilzing support and international solidarity is hardly not getting anything done.

How could the SU better represent societies like One world, if indeed it is not doing so already?

feel the SU should get on board more of our events, apart from diversity week which last year was not adequately advertised by the SU, we have most interaction with Ents. For the past couple of years now we have been running International Music Nights in the buttery where we have had Afro

beat orchestras based anywhere from dublin to Canada as this years was. Our Freshers’ Weeks gig this year was a fabuluous success. All of the nights we have run has everybody dancing we ran one with the Music soc last year and are hoping to do this again also. For Aids week this year we are also working with Ents which is great for the ball however i would prefer more participation from the other sabbats as Aids is the crucial social issue of our time and the apathy that we are expressing now cannot continue. The Union for example has not voted on their position on Palestine which at this stage is getting absurd. During the aparthied it was the unions opposition that started the boycotts and we need this potential to be realised again.

What are your views on the re election of George Bush?

We are not concerned about America domestically but globally I find it very worrying. Neo conservativism I feel is the greatest threat to world peace and I worry about born again christian policy on absenence as a cure for aids and the lack of promised funding he has delivered to various aids organisations.

Honorary Provost of Trinity Students - Joe Gorman or Matt the Jap?

Niall Hughes - The Card Society

If they had a kid called Joe the Jap he’d definitely have to be it!

How difficult is it for smaller societies to compete with larger established ones like Players and the Phil. Do you think you get enough support from the CSC?

Lara Whyte – One World

Obviously we wouldn’t have the resources that the likes of Players or the Phil would have. We can’t produce a glossy magazine and don’t have powerful past members to call on. But in fairness I don’t think there is that much of a cleavage between small and large societies. Already this year we organised a joint event between ourselves, The Food &

ety are not to get as many people as possible so CSC will give us as much money as possible. Our aims are to activley engage as many people as possible in issues surrounding our globalised world.

Currently you are what the CSC would describe as 'medium sized' society?

What challenges does a medium sized society have in reaching the top bracket, if indeed this is even an aim of your society?

As a medium society we currently have over 290 members listed which we are delighted with and from this I would estimate we have at least 150 actively involved in the weekly workings of the society. Our aims as a soci-

Will you miss it?

The 360° career.

Graduate deadline – November 28, 2004 Summer Internship deadline – January 30, 2005 We firmly believe that JPMorgan is about the most challenging and rewarding career choice a talented graduate could make. We call it the 360° career precisely because it gives you everything: intellectual challenges, tangible impact on the business and substantial rewards.

A word of warning though. The deadline for applications this year is Sunday November 28, 2004 for graduate positions and Sunday January 30, 2005 for summer internship positions. So if you don’t visit 360career.com and apply in the very near future, you might never experience it. Of course, you can’t really miss something you’ve never had. Can you?

360career.com

18

Tuesday November 9, 2004

Features Editor: Laura Fergusson

Trinity News

FEATURES God Help America George W. Bush has now been re-elected as President of the United States. His campaign was unprecedented in many respects: the number of miles covered, the amount of money raised and the viciousness of the attacks on his opponent. But it’s probably the centrality of his conservative Christian beliefs and the key role these convictions played in his re-election that most Europeans find so baffling and worrying. Darren McCallig reports.

Televangelist and founder of the ultra-conservative Christian Coalition, Pat Robertson, appears to have some amazing powers of prophecy. “George Bush is going to win … The Lord’s just blessing him,” he declared a couple of weeks before polling day. Fellow evangelist Jerry Falwell also supported Bush’s re-election bid and said, “Evangelical Christians need to get serious about re-electing President Bush.” This is the same Jerry Falwell who said after September 11: “I really believe that the pagans and the abortionists and

Our own history teaches us to be extremely wary of any attempt to corner the market on God. the feminists and the gays … helped this happen.”

While the post-election analysis is still unfinished, it would appear, from first indications, that the support of Robertson, Falwell and American Conservative Evangelicals in general, was a key component in Bush’s success. On this side of the Atlantic we find this heady cocktail of religion and poli-

tics very difficult to swallow. Our own history teaches us to be extremely wary of any attempt to corner the market on God. But, if we want to get a handle on American politics (and, remember, US politics affects us all), we must try to understand this phenomenon.

The first thing to note is that the central role of religion in American politics is no new invention. US presidents, beginning with George Washington, have included religious language in many of their public statements.

Thomas Jefferson, for example, claimed that, “religion, as well as reason, confirms the soundness of those principles on which our government has been founded and its rights asserted.” However, in many ways, it was the 1950s which saw the re-emergence of religion as a key player in American political life. Christianity prospered in the US of the 1950s. Church membership increased from 64.5 million (49 per cent of the total population) in 1940 to 118 million (64 per cent) in 1963. In tandem with this increase in religious sensibility another trend emerged. The equation of God (and in particular the Christian God) with the national interests of the US became almost axiomatic. A number of examples

are instructive. The Secretary of State, John Foster Dulles stated: “there is no way to solve the great perplexing international problems except by bringing to bear on them the forces of Christianity.” In 1954 the Pledge of Allegiance was amended so that America became a nation “under God.” In 1957 the words “In God we trust” were

The Cold War was seen by many as fundamentally a conflict between Christianity and atheism. added to the dollar bill. God-fearing America was being clearly distinguished from the forces of godless Communism. The Cold War was seen by many as fundamentally a conflict between Christianity and atheism. Religion, therefore, was seen as a strong weapon against the USSR. Ronald Reagan epitomized this approach. However, he was far less outspoken than George W. Bush about his faith. Speaking at his father’s funeral earlier this year, Ron Reagan said that his father did not “[wear] his faith on his sleeve to gain political advantage.”

Indeed, many commentators saw

this as a thinly-veiled critique of the current president. Whatever the exact intent of Ron Reagan’s comments, one thing is clear: Americans like their presidents to have religious faith. In a poll conducted by the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life, 72 per cent of respondents said that the president should have strong religious beliefs. Over half (51 per cent) said that churches should express views on political matters and 41 per cent complained that there was too little expression of faith and prayer by political leaders.

But as the closeness of the presidential election shows, America is a deeply divided society. The same Pew Survey found that a very substantial minority, 46 per cent, believed that “religion and politics don’t mix.” Perhaps that is why Bush’s appeal to the religious right during the campaign was carefully crafted so as not to offend more centrist opinion. In the lead-up to polling day Bush tended to speak in broad spiritual terms, rather than explicitly referring to his religious beliefs. For example, Bush rarely spoke out about his opposition to abortion. Instead he used phrases such as “culture of life”. Similarly, Bush spoke a good deal about the

“family” – his right wing supporters decoded this as his opposition to gay marriage and more moderate voters were not scared away.

Nonetheless, there are some well-known examples of Bush’s less moderate language. Six days after the September 11th terrorist attacks Bush referred to “this crusade, this war on terrorism”. While he later protested that the use of the

“God told me to strike at al-Qaida, and I struck them, and then he instructed me to strike at Saddam, which I did.” word “crusade” was not intended to cause offence, it would be a naïve person who would think that the President’s words were not carefully chosen. Moreover, the word cropped up again in March in a fund-raising letter to Republican donors in Florida. The circular asked for more support in the president’s “global crusade against terrorism.”

Further, when this crusading language is married to the President’s conviction that he is doing the will of God, it is time for

us all to get very concerned. For example, in June 2003, Mahmoud Abbas, then the prime minister of the Palestinian authority, said that, in a conversation with the President, Bush had told him, “God told me to strike at al-Qaida, and I struck them, and then he instructed me to strike at Saddam, which I did.” Unfortunately, our history books are filled with the appalling consequences of the actions of those who have claimed such knowledge of the mind of God. Perhaps this is why mainstream

Christianity has always counseled a certain “theological timidity” – a timidity born of the realisation that God is bigger than our political views or our personal prejudices or even our religion. God is not a Republican or a Democrat and, as Senator George Mitchell once said, “Although he’s regularly asked to do so, God does not take sides in American politics.”

I refuse to be like that any more In personal reflection and fictionalised reminiscences, Camilla Bhachu examines depression.

A silhouette of tingles traced the outline of her body in its state of heightened perception. The extra sensory awareness left her exposed and ready and as if summoned all the unwelcome demons flew in. A self-induced paralysis set in, the fear had taken over and she did not know where it would attack from next, she couldn’t run because she was the enemy, so she was safer standing still. Don’t move and everything will be OK. Don’t challenge it, ride it out and it will leave from whence it came. Everything’ll be normal again soon. Just breathe deeply. In, and out.

In, and out. In and out, in and out, in and out …

When I was younger I was always the kind of person who had to restrain herself (usually without success) from skipping ahead to the last page of the book to see how it ended. So lets start with the worst bit – drinking charcoal. I’d been taken to hospital by ambulance having taken an overdose of antidepressants. I’d like to say that it was just a cry for help or some kind of attention seeking plea for people to take what I was feeling seriously, but it wasn’t like that. I had a sudden moment of clarity, it was as if I had no choice, this was the only possible thing I could do. It was all so easy, so methodical, so completely devoid of emotion. A lot of people think suicide is selfish, taking the easy way out with no consideration for those you leave behind. I never thought I’d be capable of attempting it however unsuccessfully. Four years ago my best friend called me from train tracks waiting to be run over, fortunately she’d missed the last train but she went home and took an overdose. I woke my family up screaming down the phone. Having felt the pain I did that day I never thought I could inflict that on anyone else but there was no room for rational thought in my head when it came to that point. I think I had some kind of Girl Interrupted fantasy running through my head that someone would lock me away and I could relinquish control and be safe and everything would be alright.

That was September 18th. A week and a half later I was back in Dublin for my final year at Trinity.

I didn’t tell my family initially. My one coherent thought when in the hospital was that I didn’t want them called. My family haven’t been exactly what you’d call sympathetic to my depression. My mum’s a manic-depressive as was her mum, so admittedly when I was younger I was awaiting it expecting that that was inevitable but it never came. I

think because my dad has only witnessed one kind of depression and because I am clearly not bipolar he doesn’t believe in my depression thinking I just need to pull myself together and calm down a bit. It’s not purely his fault that he is unwilling to accept my reality, I used to always hide it from my family. It’s only recently that I’ve stopped pretending and faced up to who I am. I pretended to be happy for so long partly because I was scared partly because I was ashamed. But when you stop pretending people only see what’s happening then, they don’t see what has been going on in your mind and don’t understand where these sudden outbursts come from.

Sometimes to solve our problems we all need to escape reality, the problem was her problems weren’t grounded in reality. She had managed to form for herself a façade of authenticity, a manifestation of life that was merely a role she played and no one ever guessed that it was all a lie.

It was the impetus I needed to look at my future and see if I could sort out my life, and give me the hope that I had the power to do so. It’s taken me a long time to realise that I don’t have to be perfect. I can’t get rid of the depression but I don’t have to succumb to it. I find this particularly difficult to write because within a short time I have become the happiest I have ever been but I’m actually scared of being happy. I don’t know how I’ll deal with life without hating myself, sometimes it is the only thing that keeps me going, the selfhatred and disgust is a driving force.

I felt so out of control in my mind that I sought to control other areas of my life. For me it was food. I thought I was in control but in reality it just proved how out of

control I was. I slipped into checking my weight thirteen times a day..

every single step and it made me feel safe.

Her mind was controlled by numbers and fluctuations she was not a person but a measurement in kilos or pounds. Her temperament was controlled by each change by compulsive checking as if a statistic could define her. She was not an image but a projection of a definition.

She sprawled across the sofa watching a video, a cup of coffee in one hand and a bar of chocolate in the other. She dipped the chocolate in the coffee sucking off the melted layer then immersing it once more running her tongue along its surface letting the taste possess her till she achieved a zenith of pleasure.

While her fingers were still messy with melted shards of chocolate she reached for the biscuits, ate one, then another, crammed a third into her mouth and before she knew it the packet was gone bar the traces of crumbs around her mouth and the scattered remnants clinging to the fibres of her clothes. She clicked the pause button on the video, went to pour herself a large glass of water, and then headed for the bathroom. Methodically and mechanically she threw her top off, lifted the toilet seat up, took a large gulp of water sending it purposefully down the wrong way and went down on her knees. She crossed her arms across her chest, her left hand holding the crucifix she always wore out of the way and her right hand tucked under her left armpit, and leant right forward. Then she heaved, heaved with all her might forcing her stomach muscles to comply with what she wanted taking constant slugs of water to ease the process. She continued past all points when she was ready to give up, she was sick until she could be sick no more, until all she could taste was stomach acid. She flushed the toilet administered a large helping of Toilet Duck and cleaned her face. Looking in the mirror while she washed, she thought as she stared at the pained bloodshot eyes and dazed face that the whole effect made her look rather pretty. She pulled her top back on, slumped back on the sofa and pressed play.

For a while I would eat only a tuna sandwich every other day. There always had to be rules, rules that were constantly subject to change but nevertheless had to be adhered to. I remember being in the kitchen of my then boyfriend crying when he asked me if it was o.k. to fry bacon for a salad instead of grilling it.

She finished eating each mouthful causing her pain both physical and mental. Every morsel was loaded with guilt, she couldn’t taste it but only think of the fat she perceived it to be laden with, could feel it polluting her body see it infecting and infesting her. In her head the impression of nausea began, she willed the feeling into her body convincing herself that she truly did feel ill that she couldn’t but be sick, that she was in agony. And so she slipped again.

It was a vicious circle spinning from starvation to bingeing – eating nothing for days then eating five chocolate bars on my way home, eating toast having more in the toaster as I ate, eating not tasting. One time I’d go home for the holidays and eat nothing but soup that I’d made myself, no oil, just vegetables stock cubes and water, the next holiday I’d change to having my eating unimpeded. Then there was the purging. I had my entire routine sorted and I loved it I new exactly what was coming

There is no doubt that my entire university experience has been shaped by depression. The only important thing seems surviving.

As each year passes the feeling of one less year till it’s all over. Last year before coming back to Trinity I was crying hysterically. This year I don’t think I was anywhere near ready enough to come back but the alternative didn’t seem any better.

There are some days when I just can’t go into college, my primary focus has never been allowed to be the studying rather it is survival.

Now I feel like I wasted so much time and lost so much because I was unhappy. I feel like I failed to make this a place I could ever love.

I had intentionally alienated myself, I couldn’t let happiness detract from my state of mind.

At night, every night, she lay in bed trying to induce some state of calm but her mind wouldn’t shut down.

She was aware of it, could feel its presence, its aching surface and contours. Her breathing was fast and anxious, her whole body tense and alert and unwilling to let go, afraid of surrender.

I hate not being able to control my emotions, I can cope with depression if it’s triggered by an event or a memory but it’s when I’m crying for absolutely no reason that I worry. Things that I would laugh off or find only mildly irritating reduce me to uncontrollable tears.

The tears ran unconsciously down her bare cheeks, the despair set in so often, engulfing her so completely that she was almost accustomed to the paralysis. When she was like this she could face no one, nothing.

She curled up in the foetal position sobbing uncontrollably, crying for today, for despair itself.

It’s so much easier to hole myself up in my room.

All Summer I had panic attacks every time I went to meet my friends.

She could feel the walls closing in on her, coming at her from all angles, attacking, confining, trapping. Her breathing became hurried and strained, it was as if she was becoming compressed, pinned down and suppressed. She became physically drained and powerless.

I came off antidepressants in December, having fooled myself into thinking that I was balanced again. I cried everyday for at least a month. The two 7000 word essays I was meant to be handing in went out the window. I felt like such a failure going back on antidepressants again in July, it’s not nice admitting that you are unable to cope. But for the first time I was getting violent desires and it was harder and harder to walk away from them, I could deal with taking out my pain on myself but I was too afraid hat I would hurt someone I cared about. I still have to call my antidepressants ‘happy pills’, denigrate my dependence on them but the truth is I wouldn’t be able to continue my degree if it wasn’t for them if it wasn’t for them.

Depression is so common but when people can’t see the physical symptoms of an illness it is somehow less believable. It angers me how much of a stigma is still attached to it. I always felt that it was my fault that I felt this way, my fault that I couldn’t control my mind. But I refuse to bury my emotions anymore, I scream when I want to scream, cry when I want to cry.

She was as a candle trapped under a glass with each breath of oxygen ebbing away causing her to dissipate until she was finally snuffed out.

I refuse to be like that anymore.

She was like a caterpillar doomed to eek out its existence without the comfort of a chrysalis and no hope for metamorphosis into a butterfly.

All she wanted was a protective cocoon to hide away from the world in.

Tuesday November 9, 2004

Trinity News

Lost in the accent: Brendan Kearns I could do nothing but stare back in silence. My inquiry regarding the location of the Dublin Bus lostand-found had moments ago been answered by the company’s “customer service representative” with the most indecipherable sting of syllables I had ever heard. Worried I might annoy – or even worse offend – him with the revelation that I could not make out a single world he had uttered, I frantically considered how to proceed.

“Er…I’m sorry…I didn’t quite understand what you said. So I’m starting at O’Connell and I turn left?” I asked with as much earnestness as I could muster.

The quick, exasperated sigh which immediately greeted this follow-up question was the first thing the Dublin Bus employee had clearly conveyed to me. But since I came to him seeking directions and not non-verbal articulations of frustration, I was no closer to ending this painful dialogue.

After staring back at my anxiously smiling face for another few moments, he began his directions again. This time I could at least make out “right,” “Henry,” “two (or perhaps “too”), and “left,” but a sense of how to get where I needed to go still escaped me.

For those scoring at home, the tally was now thick Irish accent: 2, Foreign student: 0.

Unable to endure another moment of this awkwardness, I quickly began my retreat, saying “Thanks!” and turning towards the front exit. I still had no idea where the Dublin Bus lostand-found was located, although I felt like I belonged there myself after the intense confusion of the previous five minutes.

For those scoring at home, the tally was now thick Irish accent: 2, Foreign student: 0.

‘We were both speaking English,’ I thought as I ambled aimlessly down the street, ‘but he may as well have been speaking a whole different tongue the way I could understand him – that was the most incomprehensible speech I had ever heard. Do they all talk that way? How in the world am I going to take notes in lectures or ask out a girl? I wouldn’t know if she had said yes!’

And so my year studying abroad began – Welcome to Dublin.

As a visiting student from Los Angeles, I came to Trinity for the year hoping to experience something entirely new and different.

Indeed, this was much of the appeal of the Trinity program – it was an opportunity to escape all the famil-

iarity of home and venture into the unknown. Thus far, the Irish experience has been the grand adventure I hoped it would be, although I must admit the first chapter of my Dublin story is much more “Lost in Translation” than Homer’s Odyssey. While at times daunting, confusing, and awkward, the adjustment to Dublin has proved to be one of the most memorable and rewarding experiences of my young life. It has, above all, taught me the need to keep a sense of humor.

“Now you know how they like to drink there in Ireland…” I heard it from my parents, friends, and coworkers – almost everyone back in California was reminding me of how drinking dominated the social

After 21 years of greeting nearly every day with the Beatles’ “Here Comes the Sun,” I was due for a change of tune. scene in Ireland. More than once, I was “warned” by a concerned adult about the centrality of alcohol to the Irish culture. My mind, inculcated with such dire descriptions of the excesses of the Irish, began to manufacture the most extreme images of what I could expect upon arrival: alcoholic 12 year-olds, mothers offering to trade their babies for a pint, and many other visions of inebriated madness.

Yet after I arrived, these admonishments – and the morbid, Dostoevsky-like images they inspired in my head – seemed rather foolish, as the habits of most Irish students varied little from the university social scene back in the States. That is, many young adults dedicated a few nights a week to the temporary escape from reality that comes with downing a couple beers, but this healthy dose of youthful recklessness was done with some semblance of moderation. A minority on both sides of the Atlantic certainly does go overboard; however, most Irish, like their American peers, seemed to balance their drunken mayhem with other, booze-free pursuits. So much for the fire-and-brimstone descriptions of drunken depravity I heard back home.

The one distinction from California I did notice was that the typical Irish fresher seemed to have much more experience with drinking, and a much greater tolerance for alcohol, than the equivalent first-year student in America. This difference can be easily attributed to the fact that the legal drinking age in the States is 21 rather than 18, though such explanations did little to assuage the vague sense of inadequacy and embarrassing inno-

cence which overcame me as I saw an Irish acquaintance – who could not have weighed more than 100 pounds effortlessly put down her third shot while I continued to nurse my first pint of Guinness.

“How hard is it to adjust to the weather here?”

It seems that this enquiry is the reflexive response of any Dubliner who learns of my Los Angeles roots. The image of my hometown most Irish seem to possess is one of beaches, palm trees, and perpetual sun; they cannot fathom how one adapts to the clouds and rain after living so long in such a fair-weathered ‘paradise.’ But to be honest, the adjustment to the grey skies and precipitation characteristic of Dublin has been fairly easy.

Although some may find this incredulous, I have actually enjoyed the change of pace. The joy of escaping the bitter cold and entering a nicely heated room is a pleasant sensation so rarely felt in Los Angeles. And one cannot truly appreciate a warm shower or a good cup of Hot Chocolate until he or she has enjoyed them after braving the shiver-inducing elements often present in Dublin.

With regards to the almost omnipresent precipitation, I also have nothing but fond feelings.

And strange as it may sound, this is all due to a song. For each time I walk down Grafton Street cowering under my umbrella, I cannot help but think of Burt Bacharach’s 1960s hit “Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head.” The song, so full of unabashed exuberance, makes my worries seem trivial and my mood invariably pleasant; each time I am greeted by the rain, I simply hum that familiar melody and smile.

Perhaps it is silly to base my evaluation of the Irish climate on a forty year-old pop song, but thinking of those lyrics has proven to be my consistently pleasing response to the rainfall. And besides, after 21 years of greeting nearly every day with the Beatles’ “Here Comes the Sun,” I was due for a change of tune.

Much has been said about the difficulty of overcoming negative first impressions – once a person formulates an opinion about something or someone, it will usually persist, regardless of the questionable logic underlying such views.

Yet despite the traditional difficulties with reforming established beliefs, I was quickly forced to reevaluate my opinion of the Irish accent. My initial impression, forged at the Dublin Bus Headquarters, was that it was a crude, incomprehensible variation of the English language, one that gives credence to Trinity alumni Oscar Wilde’s observation that “We have really everything in common with America nowadays, except, of course, language.” However, I soon

found my opinion radically changed by a force that has dramatically altered the views and beliefs of men throughout history – attractive women.

She made eye contact, and I was impressed.

She spoke, and I simply melted.

response.

“Los Angeles – in the United States,” I answered, with the nervous excitement that drives one to clarify the important and little known fact that L.A. is indeed in the States. “How about yourself?”

“I’m from Galway,” she answered.

My initial impression, forged at the Dublin Bus Headquarters, was that the Irish accent was a crude, incomprehensible variation of the English language.

“So where are you from,” she asked. A simple question, perhaps, but the way she spoke made it seem beautiful. Dumbfounded by her mesmerizing voice, I scrambled to offer some sort of coherent

‘This lovely voice…from an Irish girl? I wondered to myself. ‘Could this really be the same Irish accent that only days ago left me frustrated and bewildered? I’m sure accents vary somewhat from region

19

FEATURES Adjusting to Dublin and the Irish way of life

to region, but this difference between the sounds emanating from this lovely lass and the Dublin Bus employee is nothing short of astonishing…”

What a few days previous had been crude and inarticulate was, from her lips, delicate and gorgeous. In a matter of seconds, I had become enamored of the Irish accent, at least when spoken in the manner of this refined girl from Galway. The concerns I had about communicating with the Irish were immediately forgotten, especially my worry about asking a girl on a date and not being able to understand her reply. Coming from her voice, even a “no” would be music to my ears.

Thus ends my account, much as it began – with me lost in the Irish accent. Yet the context for these

two moments of befuddlement very dramatically, a distinction that reflects the continuing process of adjustment and assimilation I am undergoing as I spend more and more time in Dublin. Though I remain distinctly foreign and therefore destined to spend much of my time basking in awkwardness and confusion, these moments of bafflement have become much more amusing than frustrating. The challenges and triumphs of being a visiting student have taught me that a journey into the unknown, while occasionally perplexing or exasperating, can bless the persistent with the greatest of rewards…provided he does not limit himself to his first impressions.

Straight up with a twist He exfoliates, cries at soppy films and never misses cocktail hour. But just don’t call him gay.

Carmen Bryce Following a rather traumatic blind date my roommate was left feeling a little fragile and entirely unsure of whom exactly on the night was wearing the trousers. Over dinner and cocktails the date had listed the calorie content of the dessert section, retreating to the bathroom four times to reapply his moisturising lip balm and fix his carefully sculpted hairstyle. Although my friend was certain that this man was not gay (apparently in-between checking his reflection, he was also checking out her cleavage), she was not altogether certain what she had encountered…it was man but not as we know it. Ladies, meet the metrosexual, the new generation of testosterone challenged male in possession of both a heightened aesthetic sense and a preoccupation with their appearance. Unscathed by the natural instinct to scratch, yell and burp the National Anthem on demand, this recently discovered species of mirror men have replaced pints with carb-free tonics, sports with shopping and dirty

‘lad’s mags’ with Esquire and GQ. Long gone are the days of sweat, dirty fingernails and football jerseys when the boundaries of gender construction were clearly defined.

Now we are witnessing a type of man willing to dabble in his feminine side, whether this involves waxing, cleansing or reading love sonnets to his better half.

Cleverly coined by American journalist Mark Simpson in 1994, the Metro-(city) prefix indicates this breed’s attraction to the sophistication of the urban lifestyle while the –sexual suffix means that although this man is usually straight, he embodies all the characteristics of the stereotypical, modern gay male.

Simpson, admittedly very much a ‘bloke’s bloke’ himself, first exposed the typical metrosexual as an admittedly narcissistic young man with money to spend, living in or in close range of all the best shops, clubs, gyms and hairdressers. Since the early nineties, this phenomenon has been the talking point of countless sociological research, media debate and post-

first date low-downs alike, all bemused at the transgression of the average male from passionate about Playboy to passionate about Prada. Curiosity in fact reached a new high when Euro RSCG Worldwide, a marketing communication agency based in New York and more than 200 other cities, explored the changing face of American males in a report entitled The Future of Men: USA. Having surveyed men between the ages of 21-48 throughout the US, the report concluded that there is “an emerging wave of men who chafe against the restrictions of traditional male roles, who do what they want, buy what they want, enjoy what they want-regardless of whether some people might consider these things unmanly.” Schuyler Brown, associate director of strategic trendspotting and research at Euro RSCG Worldwide argues that the metrosexual is “comfortable getting a facial or a pedicure. It doesn’t make them feel any less masculine or any less heterosexual.”

So what exactly spurred the aver-

age beer-bellied TV hog to drop the remote control, slap on the pore cleansing mask and hop onto a treadmill? The promotion of the metrosexual takes its root in the men’s style magazine such as GQ, The Face and Esquire which landed on the shelves in the late Eighties and grew rapidly in popularity (Esquire gains 6,000 new readers per month). With feelings of fear, jealousy and aspiration, young men strived to keep up with images of tight abs, latest trends and stylish accessories, finding inspiration from the different male celebrity on the glossy cover each month. While a mere decade before, masculine hero-worshiping was restricted to the most manly of stars, usually accompanied by a page three model and a drinking problem, such as George Best and Oliver Reed, the emerging metrosexual now idolised revolutionary celebs such as androgynous David Bowie or super stylish David Beckham. It says a lot, that the captain of the English Football team, one of the biggest masculine institutions in modern society (and let’s face it,

will be to the end of time) prides himself on being the quintessential metrosexual icon. Beckham, who has been photographed in the past wearing little more than his wife’s sarong with matching pink nail polish, admitted to UK gay magazine Attitude that he’s delighted to be a gay icon, as long as he looks good while doing it. “It’s no longer a taboo to be gay, it’s portrayed on prime-time TV, and heterosexual men have become more comfortable with the gay culture” says Brown. Indeed shows such as Will and Grace, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and Sex and the City, are leading the heterosexual to envy and strive to capture the urbanity and classiness of the homosexual lifestyle.

But what about those guys out there whose caveman gene is very much intact, the type that likes his ‘birds’, wouldn’t give up a pint for anyone and definitely ‘ain’t no pooftah’? Recent research shows that even those that consider themselves to be a bit of a chick magnet are anxious and preoccupied with their appearance. According to Roberta Olivardia, PhD, co-author of The Adonis Complex: The Secret Crisis of Male Obsession, the average male thinks that

women are attracted to men who are 15 to 20 pounds more muscular than what women actually find attractive (even more so following the release of Troy) Olivardia points to a Psychology Today survey showing that 43% of men are dissatisfied with their overall appearance, while a rise of 57% of cosmetic surgery among men, including lip augmentations, laser skin resurfacing and eyelid procedures speaks for itself. “It is definitely more acceptable for men to undergo these procedures than it once was,” says Olivardia. “Even so, there are still many men who won’t tell anyone they’ve done it; they won’t volunteer that information.” Men, despite reluctant to admit it, want to look good, and perhaps have to make the effort if they don’t want to be sitting in alone on a Friday night watching re-runs of The Dumphy Show with the dog. With the rise of the more refined sex symbol such as Orlando Bloom and Brad Pitt, men are becoming more than a little insecure about their flabby biceps and over-sized asses. Just as women have enjoyed and endured countless hours in the shops and salon, the dawn of reckoning for men has arrived and to keep up in the dating game, they must pluck and pamper

themselves daily. The metrosexual has become the consumer market’s wet dream, and swayed by advertising campaigns fronted by figures such as Beckham who earned over eight million euros, for sponsoring various male fashion accessories, men are spending more than ever on image conscious products.

So whether merely a trendy buzzword or a transient slump in the state of masculinity, like wigs and powdered faces in Shakespearian times, the Metro in all his glory, will be around for a while yet.

While strutting down Grafton Street this Saturday night boys, donning the latest hairstyle, catch your reflection in the nearest shop window. If your first thoughts are ‘Oh that coat would look great on me’ followed by ‘Christ my bum looks big in these trousers,’ I’m afraid you’ve caught the bug. But before fleeing to the nearest pub for an emergency pint and grunt, try to embrace your metrosexuality with full vigour, throw your manicured hands in the air and yell ‘I’m not gay…but I’m proud’.

20

Tuesday November 9, 2004

Features Editor: Laura Fergusson

FEATURES Being Bolognese

Trinity News

Roisin Hood on the ERASMUS Experience On a typically cold and wet day in February last year, I took an impulsive decision to ‘get myself the hell out of Dublin’. Unable to afford the next flight to the Caribbean, I settled on the somewhat delayed but equally escapist option of doing ERASMUS. This was possibly the best impulse decision I’ve ever taken (although I did enjoy that judo lesson when I was twelve…)

Living in Bologna for my third year was a fantastic experience.

The town was stunning, the food was great, and the workload was minimal. Bologna is somewhat overshadowed by its glamorous neighbour: Florence. However, Bologna offers a great alternative to the throngs of tourists and overpriced cafes of its rival. Equally historic and stylish, Bologna has not yet been ‘discovered’ by fat Americans and sunburned Brits.

The only foreigners you’re likely to find actually live there - I was relieved to find a group of true South London rude boys, who not only spoke in the familiar Peckham/Jamaican tones, but adopted me and my friends (somehow mistaking us for ghetto-fabulous hip hop aficionados), and showed us the (surprisingly) happening black club scene. There is a substantial ERASMUS community, and Bologna’s student population is a massive 100,000, which represents 20% of the population as a whole.

The Bolognese are, on the whole, friendly and laid back.

Anywhere that takes a four-hour siesta daily, throughout the year must have the right idea about how to live.

Anywhere that takes a four-hour siesta daily, throughout the year must have the right idea about how to live. In the evening the center fills with sophisticated proseccosipping and aperitivi munching locals, Aperitivi culture is a fundamental part of everyday life, and an array of snacks can be found in any bar from about 6pm till 10pm.

These are free when you buy a drink (and considering a glass of good wine will cost about €2.50, it makes for a cheap dinner), and vary from mini pizzas and salads to sushi and risotto. The Italians really do know how to enjoy life; it makes me wonder why anyone

would choose to live in a country where a pint in a dingy, overcrowded pub costs €5. We must be mad.

However, there were times when I would have gladly murdered the nearest small child out of sheer frustration at the insane Italian bureaucracy. I thought Trinity was disorganised. When I first applied to Trinity, I was rejected because I didn’t have any GCSE’s: ‘but I do!’ I pleaded…

‘Oh yes, so you do - don’t you just hate computers’ was the eventual response. Such experiences seemed a distant dream when confronted with the practicalities of the Permission for Residence. In order to obtain this sacred document, one must provide several other documents, which may seem simple enough, but in order to obtain any of these, the Permission for Residence is a prerequisite. This compels the unfortunate applicant to run around an, as yet, unfamiliar city, queuing to plead in (tenuous) Italian with some severe, mustachioed official, who remembers your pathetic plea from the day before, and the day before that, and before that… So it’s not easy.

However I managed to resolve the situation, through tenacity and ingenuity…well, actually I just decided not to bother with the Permission (‘and if you have a problem with that you can just damn well deport me’).

Needless to say, I wasn’t deported. Or even arrested, which disappointed me slightly as I felt I’d let the Queen down. My time in Italy was strangely unproblematic. I did manage to destroy a hire car, but miraculously escaped any charges beyond a €20 admin charge. This was fortuitous, as I felt deeply unlucky that, having safely navigated our Corsa round 500 miles of Tuscan countryside, a van decided to reverse into us at 50 miles an hour, half a kilometer from the rental drop-off. To our relief, we had a witness. To our dismay, he was 80, blind, and spoke in dialect.

The confrontation with the white van man was my most trying linguistic challenge. This was shortly after I had moved there, and, not wanting to appear like a wimpy English girl who’s just had the hire car written off, I instead tried to look intimidating whilst babbling ‘non e culpa mia’ like a broken record. Somehow it seemed to do the trick, and rather than him disappearing into the distance at high speed, he stuck around, exchanged details, and did it all how it should be done. Returning the crumpled

car, unable to phrase an explanation, was all quite embarrassing. I should have learned from this experience. I didn’t. Soon after, I found myself sitting in a car, in a tranquil hilltop village, in rural Calabria in the South of Italy, with two different friends frantically attempting to push the thirty-yearold car backwards. I was steering.

on courses was complicated. The options were posted on ‘conveniently’ remote and unpublicized notice boards, and were often scheduled at the same time as each other. Having chosen courses, it was suggested I should go and speak to the lecturers, which I dutifully did. This involved queuing for several hours per lecturer,

Life didn’t consist entirely of bumming around, drinking good wine and seeing the country, though admittedly these were the main activities.

We were trying to do a three-point turn.

Eventually, an amused farmer, who wasn’t siesta-ing took pity and tried to help out. ‘No, no’ I explained, between swearing, ‘we hired the car, drove straight up this hill, and now we’ve discovered…there is NO reverse!’

He laughed, jumped into the car, pushed the gear stick down (the trick I was missing), and easily maneuvered the car out of the jam.

Sweaty, stressed and embarrassed, we climbed back into the car to escape the village of our shame, only to be stopped and handed dozens of fresh tomatoes: a sort of consolation prize for being wholly incompetent. That marked the end of the hire car era.

Life didn’t consist entirely of bumming around, drinking good wine and seeing the country (though admittedly these were the main activities). University consisted of several hours lectures a week, on courses for which you must enroll yourself. I was studying English, although the lectures were entirely in Italian. The process of choosing and enrolling

despite having made an appointment, in order to say ‘hello, I’m English’, and be told, in essence ‘that’s nice, go away’. I feel it must have been worthwhile- it enabled them to quickly forget my existence, and allowed me to live in guiltless obscurity until exam time.

The exams were part written, part oral, and largely in Italian. The orals involved a one-on-one interview with the lecturer for about 45 minutes, and again, the compulsory hours of queuing. This was more intimidating than the written exams here, but noticeably shorter, and actually not that bad when you got used to it. Having ‘gotten used to it’, I became slightly overconfident by the time of my last exam, and was shocked to walk in to ‘I thought you’d be a boy’ in speedy Italian. I faltered ‘…er…sorry, I guess’. It quickly became evident that this was no typical Italian lecturer, but was rather of the ‘psychobitch-from-hell’ variety. Within the opening minutes of the exam, all literary discussion was abandoned.

Instead I was interrogated: ‘why did you even come to this country?

Where’s my change?

Sadb Nic Fhionnbhairr is taken for a ride by Dublin Bus Commuting to college is not fun, especially if you’re lucky enough to be travelling on Dublin Bus. Day after day as the chugging bus heaves its way into town, I’ve had ample time to think about bus tickets. In particular, passenger refund

tickets, as they are glamourously referred to by Dublin Bus. This term, for the first time since the introduction of refund tickets, I’ve been travelling without a pre-paid ticket and have been forced to count out change every time I trav-

el. Dublin Bus claims to have rounded many fares to the zero, “to further minimize the need for change receipts”, but I’m still paying fares of €1.25 and €1.45 every day. I have become a change fiend, getting as much change as I can

from every cash transaction in the course of the day, in an attempt to laugh in the face of the bus system.

But alas, I am being thwarted.

They who have become my adversaries are the many bus drivers who fail to give me a refund ticket, although I have inserted too many coins into the grey monster they call an Autofare machine. If I put in one coin, and it clunks into the slot of the machine, it’s obvious I’ve put in €2 and would like my 55 cent refund. It seems that many bus drivers are so weary of trying to work out how much was put in that they have given up. Most of them look at the long queue formed behind me rather than at the change I have thrown into the slot.

I pause, looking at the ticket machine, then look at the driver and with acute embarrassment ask if I could have my change. The driver stares exasperatedly at me, which forces me to explain: “Eh, I put in €1.50.” I usually get a filthy look, a bare acknowledgement that I exist, but no apology, no sense that I am justified in asking for a paper ticket which entitles me to change.

The worst part in this daily drama is that to be treated like a poverty-stricken student is worse than actually being one. Having to

You should stay where you belong, it’s not fair to the Italian students that you can come here, etc’. I didn’t quite know how to respond.

Then, when she told me she would give me a low grade and would cut short the exam, I did know what to say. I modified my instinctive response, and then refused to leave the room until she gave me a proper interview and asked me about the texts. Ordinarily, I would never encourage a lecturer to ask me in depth about texts, as it would risk exposure and embarrassment. She didn’t know this though, and eve tually decided not to fail me. How generous. Although her behaviour was upsetting, and did slightly taint the university experience, it also highlighted, by contrast, how little xenophobic behaviour I’d encountered throughout the year. That was the sole incident in Italy where I felt discriminated against for being a foreigner. That is a record I think we should aspire to here.

Time seemed to slow down whilst doing ERASMUS. I had

The atmosphere on match days was electric, especially on the Curva Andrea Costa with the Ultrasobviously we chose to sit with the diehards- with red and blue flares, toilet bombs (which must have caused some trauma in their time), and with the most explicit swearing I’ve ever heard. On the all too rare occasions Bologna managed a victory, the scenes of jubilation on the crowded buses into the main piazza gave me an overwhelming sense of satisfaction and integration. Those days will be amongst my most memorable.

Everybody I know who has done ERASMUS has loved it. This is quite telling in itself, as it would seem that students who leave Ireland or the UK to relocate anywhere in continental Europe find life in ‘the Continent’ equals or surpasses their expectations, and usually compares favorably with their home institution. It might seem surprising then that not everybody chooses to go abroad. This may well be due to the hassle of moving

There were times when I would have gladly murdered the nearest small child out of sheer frustration at the insane Italian bureaucracy. plenty of time to travel round the country, I had a job seven days a week for the duration but still felt no academic pressure. I had time to do everything I’d wanted to do…I even featured (along with a thousand others) on the Bologna FC 2004 calendar- result! Going to the football, and following the local team, was one of those experiences that you can only fully appreciate if you are spending a substantial period of time (a season) in the place.

abroad, to an unfamiliar town, with an unfamiliar language, with unfamiliar people etc. If that is the main reason though, the option should be reconsidered. Yes, it can be a hassle, but that all dissipates fairly quickly. The day I arrived, I had nowhere to live, no job, I didn’t know anybody in Italy, I’d only spent 24 hours in Bologna once before. I wasn’t even convinced the university were expecting me and I had nowhere to stay that night.

beg for your change is mortifying, especially as some drivers look at you like you’re a criminal, attempting to rob Dublin Bus of 5 cent. So why don’t they look at the money as you drop it in? Back in the dark ages of the 1980s and 1990s, I seem to remember drivers actually handling and counting cash. They seem to have it easy in the era of Autofare.

There must be a reason the bus drivers are lax about issuing refund tickets. Could it be that the New Irish don’t want tattered pieces of paper littering up their pockets? It’s only a few cent, after all.

Reclaiming your bus refund tickets might not enable you to go a spending spree in Brown Thomas, but if every commuter reclaimed their tickets, Dublin Bus would be on average 1.9 million Euro poorer per year.

I decided to reclaim my wealth from 59 Upper O’Connell Street, the amassed refund tickets having created a large bulge in my coat pocket (all in the name of research). The measly E1.35 I was given was disappointing, especially as I had envisaged myself buying at least lunch with the proceeds, but instead about all I could afford was a bottle of Coke. Was it worth the daily embarrassment? It’s no wonder people don’t really care about receiving or even redeeming their change tickets, seeing as Dublin prices have skyrocketed beyond belief, devaluing the 5 cent and 10 cent pieces. If people are willing to spend €6 on a roll in a café, a refund ticket from Dublin Bus

probably seems worthless.

Imagine you were in a shop in Dublin, and you let the cashier keep the change every time you

The measly E1.35 I was given was disappointing, especially as I had envisaged myself buying at least lunch with the proceeds, but instead about all I could afford was a bottle of Coke. purchased something, in fact, you didn’t even ask them for your change. Soon, the shop would make a massive profit, having provided absolutely no service for this money. In the same way, the unclaimed refund tickets are hugely profitable for Dublin Bus. They can collect millions of Euro with their eyes closed, which in itself seems a fitting description of the way many bus drivers regard the change going into the Autofare machine. It is as if the people of Dublin have tipped Dublin Bus 1.9 million Euro a year since the introduction of the Autofare system, which makes up almost 1% of their annual turnover. This money is then invested into Dublin Bus, apparently in order to, among other things, reduce fares. I think I would prefer to have my change given to me instead of it being used to “reduce fares” (visions of black holes…).

So why is there an Autofare system in place? Their introduction was prompted by violent attacks

Looking back on it, it had all the ingredients for disaster, but within hours of arriving I’d met great people who I stayed friends with, I’d found a hotel next to the club we ended up in that night, I’d accidentally found a job and somewhere to live, and I’d enrolled at the university. So it was easy. To be fair, I was very lucky with accommodation- I had attempted to ask the woman in the accommodation office for an information pack, but somehow my (decidedly dodgy) Italian had conveyed ‘I want a job as an au pair’ (an option I hadn’t considered) and one phone call and an interview later I had both a gorgeous room in a converted palace, and a job. So people shouldn’t be deterred by the prospect of relocating, it’s really not that problematic.

The other factor that might act as a deterrent is cost. This fear should be discounted, as the grant is quite generous- you pay your Trinity fees, no extra, and this way you also get several hundred Euros as a living allowance. Given Dublin is probably just about the most expensive place to live in anyway, and life in most European university towns will be a lot cheaper, this grant seems rather unnecessarybut it’s a good buffer, and frankly it’s just nice to be given money for a change. Ryanair and Easyjet mean you can get flights home for very little from most places, so it isn’t even like you’re isolated. It’s great and totally do-able. I’d recommend the scheme to anyone who wants to travel, learn a language, and have a fairly pressurefree year.

against bus drivers by people trying to steal cash from the old cash dispensers. The Dublin Bus website states: “The driver is not allowed under any circumstances to handle cash”. Why are bus drivers in Dublin threatened by violence and robbery to such an extent that they are forced to sit behind a plastic door? Why does violent behaviour necessitate such an impersonal system of payment as Autofare, cutting off most contact between passenger and driver? And why is it that in Ireland this system is necessary, more precisely, in Dublin?

Irish people lack a sense of community, especially Dubliners. As prevalent as violence, vandalism is practiced in Ireland on a scale unknown in other countries.

Shopping trolleys regularly bob up and down the Liffey, and even an exhibition of public art, The Cow Parade was vandalized in 2003. At least 10 colourful fibreglass cows placed around the city were demolished, vandals even going to the lengths of hacking off the head of a cow. The extreme nature of Irish vandalism points at a definite lack of community feeling, as does the blatant littering in city streets.

Maybe it is our own fault that the soulless Autofare system is in use on Dublin busses. It was introduced to protect Dublin Bus drivers from their customers and seems to have created the necessary physical distance between them, but more importantly it has turned into a profit-making spin-off for the company at the expense of the commuter.

&

Comment & Opinion Editor: Rory Loughnane

Tuesday November 9, 2004

21

Trinity News COMMENT OPINION Falun Gong, free speech and oppression What is Falun Gong? And why do the Chinese government have over 100,000 adherents in prison?

Bart Connolly Five years ago I began a political campaign to free Zhao Ming - a Trinity student who was imprisoned in china because of his personal faith. I never commented on the beliefs of Falun Gong which were to me a separate issue to the human rights campaign and were at that time something I was ignorant of. The campaign was a success and Zhao Ming returned to College. I only ever met him twice and he impressed me as an amiable and peaceful person. I think enough time has gone past to allow me to put my views about Falun Gong forward.

Ten years ago Li Hongzhi was unknown in the West. Today, Falun Gong, the movement Li began, claims over 100 million adherents.

Others claim membership is just a few million. Nevertheless, in Asiaweek magazine’s yearly poll on Asia’s most powerful men, Li climbed from 38th place in 2000 to 1st in 2001. But who is Li? What is Falun Gong? And why do the Chinese government have over 100,000 adherents in prison? The story of Falun Gong is one of mystery, cruelty and intolerance, ironically contrasting their “truth, compassion and endurance” motto.

While Falun Gong may be unscientific, the cruel and intolerant behaviour of the Chinese government goes beyond the bounds of belief.

The mystery begins with Li, the enigmatic figurehead of a movement which has no leaders. He claims Falun Gong is not a religion and at the same time Falun Gong make their case to the international community based on freedom of religion. Members (Falun Dafa practitioners they call themselves) cannot charge to teach so they are not in the religion business.

Actually, Falun Gong is anti-materialist. Li claims only to have written books passed on to others. The system and Li’s five books are free on the Internet. He does not keep formal contacts with practitioners, nor asks them for anything nor tell them to do anything. Yet adherents flock to see him wherever he goes.

Falun Dafa draws from various strands of Oriental tradition particularly Buddhism and Taoism. In particular Li’s exercises claim to tap into Chi or Tsi (pronounced chee) energy. The Falun Gong emblem contains five swastikas certainly not fashionable in the West. However, the swastika was a common oriental symbol for thousands of years. Li’s swastikas can be “installed” in the body and rotate clockwise or counter clock-

wise depending on five sets of simple gentle exercises which most people could learn in an hour or two. This enables absorption or emission of the magical chi “energy”.

Falun Dafa popularity in the West relates to claims of enhanced health and stress relief as well as providing enlightenment. Yet Falun Dafa is quite unscientific. Many doctors would tell you any exercise regime or meditation can yield benefit by reducing stress. But medicine is in addition falsifiable. Any claim for it requires supporting evidence. Li claims “Falun Gong is able to alleviate, or even completely eliminate illness.” Save anecdote, there is no backup evidence so it is not medicine. If Falun Dafa is science, the scientific method insists that there is a test, which can be proposed, capable of falsifying any untrue claims. There isn’t; although statistical claims are made to practitioners living longer than non-practitioners. This in itself is strange claim for a movement which is only a decade old.

Scientific sceptic James Randi, ardent critic of quackery stated in relation to Li: “His preposterous comic-book claims range from bringing all his disciples to fly in the sky, to the fact that all things are composed of water. He com-

mands his followers to denounce all science, and to ignore doctors and medicine of all kinds. He says that he himself made his own grandparents.”

Falun Gong while posing as an alternative to medicine does not reject medicine outright. Li does not tell people not to use medicine.

Yet he claims disease is “is a black energy mass” that he can dissipate with his powers and disease exists in some other space beyond physical space that only those with “supernormal capabilities” can truly heal. True healing involves “cultivation energies...in the form of light with very tiny particles in great density.”

What are to us mysterious beliefs in the paranormal are to many Chinese viewed as we might view Satanism.

While mysterious claims of travel through space and time, eliminating medicine and establishing immortality exist, these are no stranger than bi-location, transubstantiation, resurrection and other abilities attributed to Christ and his apostles. One difference is that though based on older traditions Falun Gong is recent, Christianity

is millennia old.

This raises Falun Gong’s connections with astrology. Five Falun Gong members were detained for organising a protest on Jan 24th 2000 in Tiananmen Square. This is the most important holiday in China, the Lunar New Year. Why should a date matter when Falun Gong claim all that matters is practice of the exercises? Li is also seems fixated with his birth date.

The Chinese government states 7 July 1952. Li claims 13 May 1951.

Why all the fuss? Maybe because it is the birthday of Buddhism’s founder, Sakyamuni? Li has said, “I have never said I am Sakyamuni,” and “I am just a very ordinary man.” So why worry about insisting on the date? Well, Li also stated to Time magazine “I don’t wish to talk about myself at a higher level. People wouldn’t understand it.”

Li’s evasiveness on belief in space aliens replacing human beings with clones, his claims of paranormal powers and his comparisons of himself with Buddha and Jesus is worthy or critique given that “truth” is central to Falun Gong.

While Li maintains Falun Gong is not a doomsday cult he asserts Falun Dafa is one of 85,000 Buddhist cultivation ways which he has made available “at this final

period of the Last Havoc.” He has also been attributed with criticising rock ‘n’ roll, science and homosexuality.

Others question the extent of the power Li Hongzhi is believed to hold and believe the suppression of his movement has exaggerated his importance. Sima Nan, prominent in the field of discrediting supernatural sects, offers $2 million to any claim which can be substantiated by science. Nan, a former quigong (pronounced chee gong) master, turned against the fraudulent behaviour he witnessed by many “masters” in China. Nan has attacked the supernatural powers claimed by members of the Falun Gong movement and other meditation sects. He has stated that “the overestimation of Li’s power by foreign and domestic media, plus the current crackdown, has made him larger than life.”

What is culturally comfortable to the Chinese is odd to us and vice versa.

Ireland is steeped in Christian and Celtic tradition. We accept as ordinary symbols and practices which stem from tradition. Others might view moving statues, Croagh Patrick or Lough Derg as weird. But to many of us it is nothing to get seriously worked up about. At the same time issues such as abortion, religious background or national identity can get us into very heated situations.

What are to us mysterious beliefs in the paranormal are to many Chinese viewed as we might view Satanism, Demonic Possession and faith healing. The cruelty and intolerance originates in the hearts and minds of senior Communist Party members. They fear Li. Some fear what they view as a real paranormal power. Others view religion steeped in ancient Chinese tradition as a threat to the regime.

China has a history of religious and spiritual uprisings. In the late 1770s, the White Lotus rebellion against the Qing dynasty was led

by Wang Lun, a master of martial arts and herbal medicine. The Taiping rebellion of 1845-1864, in which 20 million people perished, was led by a leader who viewed himself as the Son of God. Then there is the quasi -religious boxer cult.

As an anti-science, anti-medical establishment, and anti-materialism movement, Falun Gong is attractive to many people unhappy with their lot, as many in China are.

After the 1949 revolution the Communists purged all religion.

Today, after the collapse of Russia, they fear any group promoting a better life particularly when “endurance” is a central tenet of their movement.

But Falun Gong has little to do with politics and more to do with individual rights than irrational

beliefs. It is not an enemy of the state. The persecution of practitioners (which in extremes cases include torture, rape and murder), is wholly unjustified, even if they were the “evil cult” the authorities brand them. The Chinese authorities have “succeeded in elevating Li Hongzhi to a very high position.

This is not the right way to get rid of this problem,” claims Nan. The Chinese government have made fools of themselves in their brutal and irrational attacks on Falun Gong. Ironically, while China is rampant with fakirs and quacks, Falun Gong is singled out and rated as the greatest threat since the student marches of 1989.

The government “cult” claims are bizarre and include brainwashing, worship of Li, and espionage. In addition recent claims of involvement in posting powdered Anthrax indicate the depth of irrational paranoia. No doubt paranormal fakirs have taken in some senior Chinese officials. Even Premier Jiang Zemin handed out “evil cult” literature to Clinton and top US officials. With such irrational paranoia in senior party circles there is no predicting what might happen.

I know several Falun Dafa practitioners and would not label Falun Gong a cult. Some of the hallmarks of a cult such as communal living, unethical behaviour or direct control of behaviour by leadership are not present. Like the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy entry on Earth, Falun Gong is “mostly harmless”.

Strange it may be but the violent treatment meted out to peaceful practitioners by the Chinese authorities has only served to promote it and show up the Chinese government as a superstitious, cruel and paranoid regime.

Today China is a “friend” of the West. It is not popular to criticise a “reformed” China as any bit as totalitarian as the Baathist Iraq. I even arranged for Chinese industrialists to visit Ireland and brought them to Trinity. College is actively recruiting in China. But the sentiments of Beijing are also to be witnessed in Front Square. Joe Trinners thinks himself to be openminded and tolerant. Some protested against Section 31 of the Broadcasting Act which put a gag on Gerry Adams and his ilk. But the same people protest at the right of Jorg Haider and Jean-Marie Le Pen to speak. Free speech is not about allowing who you want, it is about tolerating those whom you do not want! So the next time you deign to protest for truth from a holocaust revisionist historian remember that it comes with the compassion and forbearance to allow them a right to speech. What goes for Falun Gong in China applies to white supremacists in Ireland.

The U.S. offers another big disappointment Simon Thompson With the re-election of George W. Bush as President, the era of dominance that the USA has enjoyed since the end of the Second World War can be said to be coming to an end. The ideals of individual freedom, inclusiveness, and honest justice which made the country a shining beacon to the rest of the world, are being frittered away. The citizens of the United States are backing a President who has given the state the authority to track down who takes which books out of libraries. If, for example, you take out a book on Islamic culture, it will be recorded and stored on records which can be accessed by a federal agency. You will know nothing about it until you get a knock on your front door. The federal agency involved (and most of them could be) does not even need a warrant for this record search.

The US government sees this as an incremental change in the law but the lack of meaningful judicial oversight is rather alarming to anyone who thinks about such things, which according to a recent poll, is not a huge amount. Almost half of Americans polled are willing to give up some civil liberties in

exchange for a greater feeling of personal security, which is all well and good except so far it hasn’t really been their own freedom that they’re sacrificing. As with all such things, this support of an unjust act will come back to haunt the people who are blithely accepting of it at the moment.

Presently, it is mostly being used against non-nationals such as those incarcerated in Guantanamo Bay. Prior to the Act, this would have been both illegal and immoral. Post-Patriot Act it is now legal to hold people accused of certain crimes without trial but it is certainly not moral. Also, when it is applied to US nationals (as it will be when the impending Victory Act is passed, giving Patriot-type powers to narcotics police) it will cause a lot more people to sit up and take notice. The civil disturbances in the early ‘70s in Northern Ireland during internment should remind us all of that, albeit set against a very different social background. How will ordinary Americans act when their son or daughter is imprisoned without trial for dealing a bit of dope? I would suggest they might feel very foolish about having voted for George W. So, are we then on the brink of a New World Order? I

believe we are, and to some extent it’s going to be the one that everyone rants about and trashes Genoa in protest at. That is what we will have in China, although at least China are straightforward about it.

We will have an alternative in Europe, as the constituent countries of the European Union draw ever closer to a federalised superstate which will dwarf the United States, both economically and militarily.

Had the EU constitution been ratified before the US invasion of Iraq, had we had the resultingly more powerful President (who was not merely a figurehead) with a Foreign Minister and a European Army beneath him, it is probable that the US would not have dared to invade Iraq without our compliance, which would almost certainly not have been forthcoming.

The European Union has and continues to be a great success.

Many people overlook the many good things that the Union has done for its constituent countries and, especially in the UK, get annoyed at the shift of power to ‘Johnny Foreigners”; “Johnny Foreigners” who have successfully steered Europe from a moribund war-ravaged continent to the verge of superpower status. It is foreseeable that within 25 years the United

States will be unable to act in any part of the world (possibly excepting Latin America) without the compliance of both China and a federal European Union.

The spirit and the soul of the United States has died. The once-proud country has been browbeaten into submission by terrorism, something which, while despicable, we have dealt with in Europe for a long time in the shape of ETA, the IRA and Baader-Meinhoff etc.

Al-Qaeda (if it even really exists) has turned the US against itself. In

effect, what the growing American right wish is to run their country much as the Taliban ruled Afghanistan, but with a different religion. This is such a deviation from the principles of the founding fathers that it is an assault on the Declaration of Independence. It is a country which we can no longer trust to act in the best interests of humanity. American citizens are now viewed by their government as being just that, and not as Kennedy’s fabled “citizens of the world” who will go out in the Peace Corps and spread love and hope.

Whilst these aims may have been rather twee and foolishly unobtainable, they were much more pleasantly idealistic than today’s driving force of corporate greed and naked aggression. It is understandable that the United States wishes to ‘hit back’ against the terrorism that killed so many on September 11th 2001, but it is hard to see how invading Iraq, a country which had nothing to do with the said incident, is going to do so. Perhaps to make sure they have enough oil to go after Osama.

Worryingly, during Bush’s second term of office, at least one and possibly as many as three Supreme Court judges will retire or die. Of the nine judges,

only two have been appointed by a Democrat president. William Rehnquist, the Chief, is 80 years old while John Stevens is 82. These two judges will almost certainly have to be replaced within the next four years and while both are Republican appointments (nominated by Nixon and Ford respectively), Stevens is a liberal prochoice Judge. Rehnquist, on the other hand, is a reactionary conservative who is currently attempting to outlaw nearly all forms of pornography, potentially including such soft core publications as Playboy. George W. Bush has stated that Rehnquist is his “ideal” Supreme Court Justice. Obviously this is a clear indicator of the type of people (probably men) whom Bush will choose to succeed these two, which will leave the Supreme Court panel of 9 judges with only two members whom could possibly be said to be liberal. These are Ruth Ginsberg and Stephen Breyer, both of whom were appointed by Clinton. From a Supreme Court shaped by Bush (younger) we can expect conservative rulings on abortion, pornography, allowance of invasions of personal privacy and rulings which stretch the constitution to permit Federal agencies to overstep their current rights.

Indeed just one more anti-abortion Justice could lead to an overturning of the Roe ruling in 1973 which legalised abortion. There are also controversial rulings which made anonymous access to contraceptives which could potentially be overturned by one more conservative vote.

Another four years of George W. Bush is a terrifying and indeed horrifying reality. The fact that he actually increased (well, at least gained) a majority of the popular vote is just mind-boggling. It guarantees another four years of American decline in the eyes of the world. We hate Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld a huge amount now.

How much more are we here in Europe going to hate them in a year’s time? Possibly just enough to make us forget our petty internal difficulties and internecine feuds and realise that it is up to us, the 25 states of the European Union, to get our acts together and, well, act. The Stars and Stripes has been seen as a symbol of strength, freedom and justice all over the world for more than fifty years. It’s time to replace it with just the stars.

Trinity News COMMENT&OPINION The World’s “Worst Humanitarian Trinity News Crisis” -Sudan

22

Tuesday November 9, 2004

Archive

Oxford Comparison – Is Trinity a Social Failure?

William Oddie- Features November 9th 1961 Editor’s Note In a recent poll Trinity managed to achieve the mighty achievement of maintaining its position as Ireland’s premier college. Regrettably though, we didn’t manage to break into the list of the world’s top two hundred universities. Oxford was right up there at the top though. Over forty years ago, things were a little different though and we took pleasure in comparing ourselves to another grand old British institution.

The results of this article’s survey are generally humorous by today’s liberated status but somethings remain the same.

Students at Oxford probably still do work harder than students at Trinity. Too much of our weekly budgets are still splurged on drink. Drugs are still a minority issue and the English are at least still pretending to be having more sex than the Irish students in this institution. On a ludicrous point, I must assume, that the Oxford student who admitted to be smoking ninety cigarettes a day, could surely still not be walking this fine earth without the help of some medical device.

“Scrutiny’s” extensive survey has suggested that undergraduates at Trinity lead more frugal and secluded lives than their counterparts at Oxford where the days of riotous living, eating and drinking are still extant and by no means drawing to a close. Scrutiny’s interviews asked questions that ranged from the amount of daily work done to such extracurricular activities as smoking, drinking, drug-taking and the extent to which regular sexual intercourse was practiced.

At Trinity, two sides of the university were interviewed, the Irish-English and the Arts-Science. An equal number of males and females were questioned. Some conclusive patterns came to light, chiefly that Oxford undergraduates work harder and at the same time live gayer lives than their counterparts at Trinity.

Over ninety percent of Trinity undergraduates leaving this year have an idea as to how their futures are going to materialise.

Contrariwise at Oxford only 50% could show the vaguest indication about their future and some seriously envisioned themselves as future prime ministers and other more picturesquely as Pop singers.

Only an introvert minority expressed dissatisfaction with University life. This dissatisfaction stemmed more from boredom than any innate cynicism. Of the three groups interviewed British-IrishOxford, a curious anomaly emerged. Asked to comment on home life in comparison with university life, 6% of the Irish said that life at home was as enjoyable, 14% at Oxford, and 28% of the British at Trinity.

35 Hour Week Any ideas that Trinity might work harder than Oxford were rapidly dispelled. The average amount of hours spent each week on work is 35 at Oxford as against a slothful fourteen at Trinity. At Trinity 47% clock-in between 0 and 2 hours of work a day, at Oxford, only 18% consider this to be adequate and the academic majority soar above three hours a day. A star-brushed elite do eight or more hours of work a day.

Only 48% at Oxford stated that they had a major interest outside the university; these included such romantic outlets as fiancées. At Trinity however, seventy percent admit to outside interests and none confessed to having a fiancée outside the precincts. At Trinity more undergraduates have internal interests than at Oxford- 36% have at least three compared to 25% at Oxford.

Smoking, Drugs and Drink Leaving aside the more serious characteristics of university life, its pleasures were examined. The most surprising statistic in the sphere was that only 50% at both Universities were regular smokers; and 40% said that they smoked more at University than during vacations. But here the two universities diverged, at Oxford 51% smoked twenty cigarettes or less a day and 49% smoked over twenty. One man at Oxford told Scrutiny that he smoked on average ninety cigarettes a day. At Trinity 50% of the smokers are under ten-a-day people- only 33% at Oxford smoke so little. At Oxford there seemed little correlation between smoking and vice, as because only 48% of those indulging in regular sexual intercourse were smokers.

Although traditionally the countries differ in their drinking habits, predictably undergraduates don’t. At Trinity and Oxford 90% said they drank. At Oxford 48% drink more at University than at home compared to 40% at Trinity. This has caused some consternation at Oxford where it was merrily assumed that “Oxford is the best place to send your son to learn to drink.” Nobody interviewed at Trinity said that he spent more than four pounds a week on drink, but several men at Oxford spend as much as ten or twenty pounds a week.

Inevitable difficulty was discovered in eliciting truthful answers about drug taking. A substantial amount of reticence was encountered so the results are probably an unreliable guide. People were asked if they had taken drugs, pep pills and tranquilisers and whether or not they had been given on prescription. At Oxford, only 19% confessed to having taken drugs including L.S.D., mescalin, pot etc., but no-one said they had taken the “main-line stuff”, i.e. heroin or cocaine. At Trinity 8% take drugs and 70% of these are British. At Oxford 33% took pep pills off prescription and a few women had them on prescription largely for slimming purposes. At Trinity14% take pep pills or tranquilisers off prescription. It should be remembered that 70% at Trinity have no recourse to drugs at all.

Sexual Intercourse The final question asked aroused most interest and concern in those spoken to- namely the questions dealing with sexual intercourse. At Oxford only 30% of the men date University girls but 100% of the girls interviewed went out with university men. 61% of Oxford have sexual intercourse with their boy/girl friends and of those, 65% were in a steady relationship. No divergence between the sexes appeared except Irish girls wouldn’t admit to having had intercourse. At Trinity there is a difference between the Irish and British since 44% of the British compared to 10% of the Irish were practising full sexual relations- of these 53% of the British men were faithful to one woman (100% of the women were but of the Irish only 40% were faithful.

Sourced by Rory Loughnane

Comment & Opinion Editor: Rory Loughnane

Rory Loughnane In recent times Sudan has won the hard-fought battle for the site of the “World’s Worst Humanitarian Crisis”, defeating such luminaries as Haiti, The Democratic Republic of Congo, Afghanistan, and Iraq.

Sudan has competed so vigorously due to the heady mix of a shambles of a government, the usual insurgent rebels and the startling lack of any foreign involvement. Abetting this disaster were the general problems of economic and political marginalisation, under-development, a history of Anglo-Egyptian control, (read “control” as “pillaging and rape of resources”), and some hardcore militia with genocidal tendencies. The result of its big victory leaves 1.5 million fleeing their homes in Darfur, 200,000 escaping into neighbouring Chad, 70,000 dead, and a nice little visit

by Kofi and then Colin Powell who agreed that Sudan had won its title quite convincingly.

In early 2003 Sudan’s plunge into disaster began in earnest. Sudan’s two loosely allied rebel groups – the Sudan Liberation Army (SLA) and the Justice and Equality Movement (JEM) - decided to attack government military installations.

President Bashir’s government, perturbed by a few rebel victories, decided to unleash the Janjaweed militias, (made up from Darfur’s Arab nomadic tribes - and therefore probably a lot tougher than your average Trinity student), on those civilian populations thought to be in favour of the rebel groups. Of course, they didn’t quite follow their instructions perfectly, and since then there have been indiscriminate killings, looting and mass rape. The government’s policy of manipulating ethnic divisions between Arab and African communities has led to wide-scale displacement. The African farming communities in Darfur have felt most of the brunt of the oppression and should the crisis deepen a widespread famine is predicted.

And, perhaps, it could all have been a little different. If we neglect the colonial issue for a moment and look at their almost fifty year history of self-government, we see that as late as 2002 peace was on the cards. The Sudan People’s Liberation Movement and the government had worked out a framework for the possibility of peace. They agreed on autonomy in

the south of the country (with a referendum for possible independence in 2008). Rebels controlling three of Sudan’s central states were not in agreement however. Even still a truce was worked out. Only a year ago an accord between the two sides called for the withdrawal of government troops from the south, rebel forces from the north, and the establishment of a joint government-rebel force in the south and in two central regions. A ceasefire, mediated by Chad with some help from the African Union (AU), several Western states and the UN, was signed by the Khartoum government and the two Darfur insurgencies in N'djamena on 8 April 2004.

However, the negotiations weren’t handled well and it was soon discovered that the government’s power of the Janjaweed militias wasn’t really all that great.

The boys who go by the name of Janjaweed didn’t seem to care too much about the official documentation of a cease-fire and this has led, to the complete failing of any sort of implementation of the aforementioned cease-fire. The International crisis group published their “Africa Report” in May of this year and called on the government to at least implement their plan on humanitarian grounds. They predicted that “the humanitarian situation is likely to get much worse before it gets better. To prevent a major and deadly famine, the international community must act decisively, since Khartoum has in effect abdicated its responsibility to protect and address the needs of 1 million of its own internally displaced citizens.” And that was, I may as well point out, over five months ago.

In recent weeks talks have been ongoing in Abuja, the capital of Nigeria. Regrettably, all their talk in a foreign country doesn’t seem to be helping the farmers back home who are lined up at the border into Chad. JEM have been pressing for more political representation for Darfur at a national level in government and more local powers for the region. In response, Bashir has offered to devolve powers to Darfur’s three states – including their own elected parliaments.

JEM’s spokesman has laughed this offer off as “empty statements”.

The rebels have also been pressing for a scrapping of the Islamic code in the area. Non-Muslims have resisted attempts by the Sudanese government to subject them to Islamic Sharia law which would

President Bashir of Sudan require all women, for example, to wear head dress in public. I am well aware that this is an extremely important issue but I would suggest that the insurgents attempt to get past the whole “impending famine” thing first before sorting out religious enforcement.

Sudan has become an iconic country for the rest of Africa. It represents perfectly the dynamics of the continent as a whole. It has a colonial past, a subsistent standard of living for its citizens, a north-south divide between Arabs and Africans, a rich natural reserve (oil), an opposition between tribal, nomadic and western styles of rule, and a government which is ill-equipped to manage a country of its vastness. Name any buzzword connected with Africa and Sudan provides a clear example. And, just to prove the point beyond any reasonable doubt, Europe, the U.S. and the rest of the West want nothing to do with it.

Colin Powell, on report-

ing on the crisis, described it as genocide. If this is truly how the situation lies, then where is the UN? It is obliged to take action if genocide is taking place. But, No, the UN has responded by threatening to impose sanctions on Sudan’s oil sector if the violence is not quelled. Firstly, the government will probably care about this. But, regrettably the Janjaweed militias, and the insurgents couldn’t care less. Secondly, it must be pointed out that depriving a famine-bound country of income and foreign interest is probably not the best call the UN could make on humanitarian grounds.

So now, with rack and ruin impending, what is there to do? Gerry Adams has called on the Irish Government to use its influence in the EU and UN to forge a better international response. But he has also answered his own call to arms by realizing that both the EU and UN are completely ineffectual in international crises. “Too

Humour

How to score a home run Through the course of history man has come to understand many of the mysteries of the Universe through his unique powers of cognition and analysis. From the first simple tools of the Stone Age to giant telescopes and nuclear reactors we have advanced to the stage where we would appear godlike to our unenlightened ancestors. When it comes to scoring however, little or no progress has been made.

Indeed some might argue that the original “caveman” approach of clubbing your desired partner over the head and dragging her into your cave had distinct advantages over today’s more nuanced techniques.

Happily, I am currently in a warm, stable and loving relationship, so these problems are thankfully no longer a feature of my personal life. Recently, however, a playful friend who shall remain nameless chose (in gross violation of the intended use of the college computer facilities) to sign me up to several online dating advice agencies. Seeing as how I’ll be probably receiving unsolicited advice from these companies for the rest of my natural life, I have decided to make the best of a bad situation and share my findings with you, the Trinity News readers, to use as you see fit.

The first I knew of this development was when I received an introductory email from a chap called Anthony Berger from “advancedmacking.com” detailing the inspirational story of how he came up with his “seduction manual”. The

story begins “My girl-friend had just broken up with me, and I needed more women to forget about her. I need to get laid fast!” and goes on to explain how his top tips were gleaned from his “lesbian friend Marsha” who was a bit of a hit with the ladies, by all accounts.

Fascinated by this breakthrough research technique I decided to read on. Of the many tips one which really caught the eye one was “boob touch” whereby while “leaning in to whisper in her ear” you “accidentally” brush your knuckles against her boob, sending her into a subliminal frenzy, it is important however that this touch does not degenerate into a “grope” which may have less promising consequences.

Another website, “seductionscience.com” preaches the practice of isolation as key. In a treatise charmingly entitled “isolate or masturbate” the following advice is offered. “Let’s look at the basic psychology of females. Women will only go so far with you as long as she’s in sight of her friends. As long as she knows her friends are around, the infamous “slut factor” kicks in. 97% of women want to avoid being categorized as a “slut” at all costs. Usually the only thought holding a woman back from getting freaky on you is, ‘What would my friends think of me if I…?’”. Another to tip is “never be yourself”, the reasoning being that if your own personality was attractive enough you wouldn’t have signed up with seductionscience.com in the first place.

So, is the advice of any worth to your average testosterone-driven man willing to unleash fury upon the lovelier gender? Not really.

Basically, the advice turns you into an amateur hypnotist. This sounds promising as hypnotism while compromising morally could be quite effectual. However it is the second word that is key- amateur.

This is not Olympian, “I’m on top of my game” amateur, but more realistically “I play soccer once a year with a team of lads from my local” amateur. The girl, unless she is actually painstakingly stupid, (and if so she probably deserves you) will see through your shoddy

attempts at mind control and manipulation. Dropping the words “below me” into conversation will probably not induce a psychological whirlwind in the target’s mind which will result in a bout of unrepentant lust.

I guess I’ll keep receiving those damn e-mails until Trinity finally pull the plug on my warped account. It’s a scary prospect that there is actually a business out there for mind manipulation techniques in relation to scoring. The whole concept is built around an illusion that “getting laid” after “macking” (American speak for playing an angle) is the zenith to

often in recent years governments have violated human rights while the world stands by. The usual platitudes of shock and horror, and concern have been made, but no action taken to challenge the governments involved.” Thankfully, the mighty powerhouse of Canada has decided to act this week by pledging 37 million dollars in humanitarian Aid. Their Prime Minister, Paul Martin, even plans to take a trip over to see for himself just how urgent the situation is.Bertie and his European pals could do without this sun-holiday.

All the aid agencies are in overdrive, but the key issue must surely be international relief. Come on Britain and Egypt- just cause you’ve been gone for fifty years doesn’t mean that you can forget.

And Dubya, wouldn’t it be nice to get a green tick beside all those big red Xs you have on you international copybook?

which all men must aspire. The industry doesn’t really focus upon emotional need but rather the animalistic physical ritual. Get the poison out so then you can return to being a lad in the pub having a few pints. The whole reasoning behind the methods is about as dishonest to women as you can get and if this industry finally reaches these shores in a big way, then the fairer sex will have trouble discerning the manipulative from the genuine guys. All in all it’s a nasty concept, but if you’re really desperate, (and looking around in Freshers week one could see a fair few pained faces), lower the old ethics barometer and become the Siegfried and Roy of Love.

Tuesday November 9, 2004

Trinity News

Trinity News EST. 1947

Why is the Buttery not run by the SU? “Just a pint please.” That will be EUR3.40. Ever feel ripped off when buying pints in the Buttery? True the Buttery and the Pav are cheaper than other city-centre pubs just across the road but this is a student bar. Hop over across the Irish Sea and visit the Epi Bar at Bristol University, and expect to pay no more that £1.50stg (EUR2.15) for a pint of Castle Lager.

At Wolverhampton students pay £1.90stg (EUR2.80) for their pints of Guinness. Feel ripped off now? A management company runs the Buttery Bar independent of the Students’ Union but such an approach is expensive and wholly unnecessary. We are students and we deserve student prices and it begs the question as to why we need the involvement of this outside company to run the Buttery. Admittedly it is completely conceded that it would be inadvisable that actual students have free reign over its management and service. Yet the Students’ Union, as the representatives of 15,000 Trinity students should be allowed, and must be allowed to step in and manage what could be a fruitful and profitable operation. The SU have a very large budget with which to run their operation, and thanks to contacts that the Ents Officer Niall Morris has, generous sponsorship deals could be availed of.

Heineken, Guinness, and Carlsberg – all these companies would be more than happy to subsidise and provide Trinity with ‘special offer’ nights of “Pints at EUR2”. Having our so-called ‘student’ bars is similar to the Trinity Ball being ‘our’ ball, when all that anyone at management level can think of is profit.

University, the ‘Trinity Experience – they’re both about study, fun and personal development; not about not putting up events because they lose money. Who has ever heard of a student actually making money? Students haemorrhage cash like bleeding haemophiliacs. Universities research, attract grants and broaden bright students whilst allowing them freedom to have fun as well as providing them with erstwhile student institutions such as student bars and the Trinity Ball. Third level is not about setting targets, cutting costs and making money, as the Provosts seems to think. Students should be studying in warm libraries and drinking in cheap campus bars. They should not be shivering when reaching for a book or paying a day’s grant for a pint. Today Trinity News is officially launching a debate on www.trinitynews.com about whether or not the Buttery Bar should be run by the Students’ Union. Join the debate and add your voice.

23

LETTERS Anti Bush Bias Dear Sir, In the wake of President Bush’s election victory, I would like to point your attention to the evident antiBush bias of your publication, particularly the issue just prior to the event.

This issue levelled some particularly ludicrous accusations against Bush that need to be addressed. Firstly, the idea that Bush is a racist is easily disproved by the continued support of the Republican Party for Mexican-

American naturalisation schemes.

This tactic of throwing the word ‘racist’ at anyone the left disagrees with serves only to rob the term of its proper gravitas. I must also note that calling all Bush supporters ‘stupid’ (i.e. more than half of U.S. voters), is far more prejudiced than anything that has ever come out of Bush’s mouth.

The same article achieves the impossible task of simultaneously criticising Bush for being too pro-war

BESS and Bush Dear Editor, In the current issue of Trinity News I really feel the newspaper has outdone itself once again, and succeeded in lowering the bar of student journalism in Trinity even further (BESS and BUSH 26th October 2004). As a SS Economics student, I can’t say I have ever noticed a “genuine BESS student” acting in as vacant a manner as the current US President, as you seem to suggest. The old BESS jokes seem to be a reliable fallback for filling a few column inches when a writer is bereft of more insightful commentary. The fact that it will always pull a few laughs from the non-BESS student body, seems

adequate to merit its inclusion, even though most of its content is at best, poorly-written fiction.

Furthermore, it’s quite ironic that even I, a mere BESS student, could notice at least one ridiculously obvious spelling mistake, referring to Mr. Bush’s mind as being ‘stationery’. Those who don’t understand the concept of homophones could perhaps learn a thing or two from us more literate social scientists.

Regards Michelle Dalton SS Economics

The Phil fungus Dear Sir, In response to a letter printed Tuesday October 26th I wish to clarify a number of points regarding the Phil. One, we do engage other societies in our debates.

Two, we hold parties and events with other societies. Three, the society does not believe the author of the letter to be Rory Treanor. Mr. Treanor is a friend of the society. He has always helped us out in the past. Mr. Treanor has even gone so far as to

escort the great Ron Jeremy on a guided tour of the college, and for that we are very grateful. Mr. Treanor is a fantastic ambassador for the student societies in Trinity, both small and large. He is a highly capable member of CSC. The Phil hopes he remains on the CSC Executive over the coming years, as he is an asset to all societies.

Yours sincerely,

Editor:

Ian Carey editor@trinity-news.com Deputy Editor: David Symington deputyeditor@trinity-news.com Photography Editor: Eamon Marron photoeditor@trinity-news.com TNT Editor: Neasa Cunniffe tnteditor@trinity-news.com

Derek Owens news@trinity-news.com News Feature: Anne-Marie Ryan newsfeature@trinity-news.com International: Karina Finegan Alves intnews@trinity-news.com Features: Laura Fergusson features@trinity-news.com Comment: Rory Loughnane comment@trinity-news.com

One of your columnists suggests that Bush has so many faults he doesn’t know where to start. May I suggest you start by restricting partisanship, and attempt to start a meaningful debate in the pages of your publication, which represents both points of view. End this demonisation of Bush, which I can’t help but see as part of a general attack against conservatives in the college as a whole, and judging

from the left leaning nature of most of the articles printed, evidence of a clear institutional left wing bias.

Yours truly, Paul Cunningham SS TSM

Buttigilone Dear Sir,

Mr Buttigilone,is just trying to shout stop,as he too realises one cannot meddle with the laws of nature. By continuing down this road it reminds me of the old prophecy,turning man against his brother until man exists no more.

It's obvious from her writing that miss Finegan Alves is agnostic, therefore the article is unbalanced and one sided.

We are turning this country into a place of she-boys, where it is

Regarding Karina Finegan Alves article in the recent Trinity news,Mr Buttigilone should on the contary be lauded not critisised. If the liberal agenda took holdwithin Brussels,as it is trying to do,we would be supporting a communist mantra.Millions believe in a higher deity, homosexuality is wrong, euthanasia is wrong, one could go on and on.

impossible to tell the differences between the sexes. I always believed a spell in the army would sort out the men from the boys! Miss Finegan Alves should put away her left leaning liberal magazines and read the bible now and again before she is completely brainwashed.

Yours Faithfully, A concerned reader.

Good old English ...

Dear Editor, In lieu of Simon Thompson being a wanker. As an English person, until I came to Trinity, I had never been exposedto the ‘English-Irish divide’. Indeed, other than the ttroubles, the only referral to Ireland had been in jokes, where I’m saddenedto say, the idiot was unquestionably the Irishman. As Simon Thompson epitomises, he was aslo a raving alcoholic. It would, however, have been very unfair to come to Dublin with such preconceptions.

As I have discovered, in some instances this archetype is false in

&

Corrections Clarifications

Patrick Cosgrave

Trinity News

Editorial Team News:

(invading Iraq) and too anti-war (not invading North Korea). Why can’t Bush remove the North Korean threat? Simple, they have several nuclear weapons developed during the Clinton years so admired by your columnist. Needless to say, criticism of the Democratic Party is conspicuous in your publication only by it’s absence.

Issue 3 Volume 57

others it is quite correct.

Discrimination due to accent or finances is not fair and is very depressing. In England it is illegal. We would never have the insolence to comment on the accent of a poor Ards farmer, so why is it accepted and encouraged (by this very newspaper) to chastise “the poor upper class idiot from abroad?”

Unfair stereotypes and a refusal to budge from that perception create cleavage in Trinity’s society. It is simply not true that we English are driven around in our Bentley

by Geeves, the Butler, as one

Northern friend postulated.

Cliques are integral to human nature; yet only the English one is highlighted and criticised. Full integration fill not occur if each individual is not welcomed for who they are, rather than where they came from.

Incidentally I’m proud of where I came from and after all, if it weren’t for the English, none of us would be studying at Trinity today.

Yours faithfully, Anonymous

Trinity News would like to apologise to the Ladies Boat Club for the article entitled ‘Lady rowers crash at Islandbridge’. Although some of the basic facts were true, the piece used exaggerated humour that was offensive and incorrect. The article that went to print was a provisional first draft that was placed on the page at the time of layout and was intended to be revised. TN fully accepts responsibility for this mistake and apologises.

November 9th, 2004

Business&Politics:Sinead Redmond busandpolitics@trinity-news.com Arts Review: Ed Gordon arts@trinity-news.com SU & Societies: Fiachra de Bhulbh suandsoc@trinity-news.com Travel: Anthony Thuillier travel@trinity-news.com Food & Drink: Patrick O’Connor foodanddrink@trinity-news.com Careers: Wendy Williams careers@trinity-news.com Science: Kirsten Bratke science@trinity-news.com Gaeilge: Tony Quigg gaeilge@trinity-news.com Sport Features: Andrew Payne sportsfeatures@trinity-news.com Sport: Eamonn Hynes sportseditor@trinity-news.com

Sport Photography:Matt Pitt sportsphotos@trinity-news.com Webmaster: Alan O’Reilly webmaster@trinity-news.com For information see our website at www.trinity-news.com All serious complaints can be made to:

Trinity News DU Publications 2nd Floor House 6 Trinity College Dublin 2 Phone +353 1 608 2335

Photograph of the Fortnight

Hist member looks star struck as McDowell makes his entrance.

Photo: Eamon Marron

24

Tuesday November 9, 2004

Eagarthóir na Gaeilge: Tony Quigg

Trinity News

GAEILGE

Ollscoil na Páirc an Chrócaigh Trioblóide! Oscailte nó Dúnta?

Tony Quigg

Fáiltigí ar ais a leitheoirí dílise chuig an spléach beag seo ar an domhan mór amach ansin le bhur n-anailísí (sin mise!) ar chuile rud alcólach srl!

Agus ar an ábhar sin, chinn mé an tseachtain seo go scríobhfainn faoi rud éigean atá cóngarach do mo chroí, agus go dtabharfainn daoibh giota de mo thaithí fada leathan ar an gné seo den saol Éireannach: tithe tabhairne!

Chuaigh mé ar ród-turas beag an tseachtain seo chaite le roinnt cairde go dtí an ghaeltacht. Ach thaisteal muid ar an slí fada go dtí iarthuaisceart Thír Chonaill. D'fhan muid thar oiche i mBéal Feirste i dtús báire agus chaith muid an oiche ag clúbáil linn. Tá saol bríomhar mac léinn thuas i mBéal Feirste, agus - ní gá dom sé seo a rá - tá na deochanna i bhfad níos saoire ná mar atá siad thíos anseo sa phríomhchathair. An chéad stop ar ár dturas ná Renshaw's. Deirtear gur pub mór na jockanna é Renshaw's agus is soiléir le feiceáil cén fath. Tá geansaithe peile le feiceáil achan áit sa phub, agus dearfainn gur geansaí Thír Eoghain an ceann is coitianta faoi lathair. Tá ofráltaí spesialta maithe liostáilte ar an bheár: ceann amháin ná cuig phunt ar thrí bhuideal 'Bud' (Ghlac mise buntáiste!) Ar aghaidh linn go dtí an Eglinton, teach tábhairne stíliúil ina bhfuil na deochanna giota beag níos costasaí ach is fiú é. Tá an áit seo líonta le hatmaisfear cairdiúil na mac léinn agus leis sin, ní ligtear aon gheansaithe peile isteach, Tír Eoghain san áireamh, rud a thaitníonn liomsa!

Ansin, ar aghaidh linn go dtí na clubanna oiche, agus an chéad stop eile, Aontas na Mac Léinn, Ollscoil na Banríona: ní gá dom a rá go bhfuil na deochanna iontach saor anseo. Tá an club seo roinnte faoi dhó agus mar sin, muna bhfuil tú ábalta do chuid chairde a fháil (i ndiaidh duit do chuid ama a chur amú ag baint triail as chailín a dhúiltigh tú arís is arís eile!), tá d'fhadhbh dúbáilte, mar muna bhfuil siad i gcuid amháin ag éisteacht le Kylie, Westlife agus an popcheol is fearr (bhuel, is fearr agus is féidir leis a bheith!) is amhlaidh go mbeidh siad istigh ag éisteacht leis an uasal Diddy nó Caoga Cent agus a gcairde, sa chuid eile!

Nuair a bhí muid críochnaithe ansin ag damhsa agus ag teipeadh orainn cailíní a fháil, bhog muid síos chuig an chaladh, áit ina bhfuil an Odyssey. Istigh anseo tá an Beach Club, áit a bhfuil na fir agus mná beáir (beagnach) lomnocht agus iad do do fhreastál, agus tú ag ceannach dí ar phraghasanna ísle. An chuid is mó den am, bíonn dhá phunt ar chibé deoch a cheannaíonn tú. Ceann de na rudaí is fearr faoi Bhéal Feirste ná nach bhfuil áiteanna na mac léinn scaipithe ar fud na cathrach mar atá i mBaile Átha Cliath: tá na mic léinn le fáil in aon cheantar amháin. Mar sin coinnítear na praghasanna síos de thairbhe na hiomaíochta.

Ar aon nós, an maidin dár gcionn, bhí orainn slán a ghabháil leis na cailíní dóighiúla a fuair muid (gan dua!), agus ár málaí a phacáil le haghaidh a thabhairt ar Thír Chonaill: an dara chuid den ród-turas eipiciúil seo! Thiomáin mise chomh gasta agus is féidir (sin thart faoi 35 mile san uair i mo charr-sa!) ar an M2 agus Doire mar ceannscríbe againn, agus Gaeltacht Ghaoth Domhair ina dhiaidh sin (da mbeadh aon fhuinneamh fágtha sa Citroen!) I ndiaidh dúinn droichead Rodí Mhic Corlaí a thrasnú ar an Tuaim, bhí ár mbealach le gearradh trí Shleibhte na Speiríní i gContae Dhoire ar phasáiste Ghleann Sheáin. Tar éis dó 1000 troigh a dhreapú, thug muid sos don charr agus lig muid ar scith sa phub is airde in Éirinn, an Ponderosa! Thosaigh cara liom ag argóint nach raibh an comhartha boithre taobh amuigh den phub ceart, ara scríobhadh "Ireland's Highest Pub." Duirt sé gur Johnny Fox's i gContae Chil Mhantáin a bhí ar an teach tábhairne is airde in Éirinn. Ach níorbh fhada gur chuireadh mo dhuine ina thost. Rinne úinéir an phuib mo chiud smaointí a chinntiú: is é an Ponderosa i gContae Doire an pub is airde in Éirinn, beagnach 10 dtroigh níos airde na Johnny Fox's ar 947 troigh os cionn leibhéil na farraige! Tá tine oscailte istigh sa teach tábhairne iardhúlta seo, agus don turasóir, tá málaí aeir úir le ceannach as arda Ghleann Sheáin.

I ndiaidh dúinn ár scith a ligint sa teach tábhairne is airde in Éirinn, chuaigh muid ar aghaidh ar phás Ghleann Sheáin go dtí priomhchathair an iarthuaiscirt, Doire Colm Cille, áit nar stop muid ann de bhrí gur theip ar na coscáin sa charr! Ach labharfaidh mé faoi Doire in eagrán eile. Chuaigh muid ar aghaidh go dtí Dún Lúiche agus d'fhan muid i dTeach Mhic Éidigh ar feadh tamaill fa choinne cúpla cluiche púil agus caint bheag Ghaeilge le muintir na háite. Thaitin an rogha mór amhrán grá a bhí ar an júc-bhosca le duine de mo chairde ach chuir sé tinneas ar an chuid eile dúinn! Ar aghaidh linn go dtí na Doirí Beaga agus bhí béile againn i dTeach Jack. Thaitin an bia farraige le mo chara atá ina fheoilstaonaire, ach bhí steig ag an chuid eile dúinn!

An teach tábhairne is airde in Eirinn, an Ponderosa i gContae Doire, taobh amuigh de Dún Geibheinn, áit inar lig muid ar scith 1000 troigh os cionn leibhéil na farraige!

Thaitin an ród-turas linn, agus ar ár mbealach ar ais abhaile, stop muid sa Beerkeeper i nDún Dealgan. Is maith le moran daoine óga an pub seo de thairbhe go bhfuil thart fa 200 beoir éagsúla acu ó thiortha iasachta an domhain. Tá beoirí acu ón Eoraip, ón Rúis, ón Mhongóil, ón tSín, agus ón Astráil (agus iad sna gloinní fada caola sin atá chomh ciotach a laimhseáil!) Sula ndeachaidh muid ar ais go dtí na leabaí fa choinne giota coladh, rud a bhí tuilte againn, ghlac muid sos beag eile i dteach tábhairne áitiúil s'againne: Teach Uí Anluain ar an Mhullach Bhán i ndeisceart Chontae Ard Mhacha. Pub clúitech go leor é seo ionas go bhfuil sé sa teaghlach cheanna le 13 glúinne nó 400 bliain; an téarma úinéireachta is faide in Éirinn! Teach beag atá lán le hatmaisfear, agus ina bhfuil muintir na háite bríomhar éirimiúil. Chomh maith leis seo, bíonn ceol ann achan deireadh seachtaine agus tá gaeilge ag an chuid is mó den fhoireann beáir.

Anois tá súil agam go bhfuair sibh eolas maith turasóireachta uaimse ansin ó thaobh na bpubanna de. Is docha gur fhoghlaim mé ceacht amháin ó mo ród-turas eipiciúil trí chúige Uladh: ná hól agus tú ag tiomáint; hobair gur dhóirt mé mo bheoir cúpla uair!

Achan lá, bíonn bríonglóidí ag pháistí imirt ar Pháirc an Chrocaigh, agus is beag duine a fhaigheann an deis seo. Rinne foireann Ard Mhacha a gcuid aislinge a chur i gcrích sa bhliain 2002 nuair a bhain siad Chorn Sam Mhig Uidhir ar thalamh naofa na páirce don chéad uair riamh.

Gearóid O Conchubhair Amharcann Gearóid O Conchubhair ar bhuntáistí agus mí-bhuntáistí oscailt Phairc an Chrocaigh do spórtanna ‘iasachta’, rud atá sa nuacht náisiúnta go fairsing ar na maillibh Tá diospoireacht ar siul I gcumann na coláiste “The Phil” an tseachtain seo, is e teideal na diospoireachta ná “that this house would open up Croke Park”.

Diospoireacht suimiuil do Ghaeilgeoiri na tire seo mar gheall

ar an gceangal ata idir an Ghaeilge agus Cumann Luthchleas Gael. An bhfuil na daoine ata ag iarraidh na páirce a bheith oscailte do chluichi eile, dáirire taobh thiar de spiorad na páirce?

Bunaiodh Cumann Luthchleas Gael i 1884 agus cheannaigh siad Páirc an Chrocaigh i 1913 doibh fein. Bhidis cluichi peile agus iománaiochta ar siul sa pháirc cheana fiu. D’ainmnigh an pháirc in onoir do laoch mor an Chumainn, An t-Ard-Easpag Croke of Cashel. Ar dtus, nuair nach raibh moran airgid le fail, bhi an pháirc togtha de reir sin. An tairgead beag a bhi ag Cumann Luthchleas Gael, tháinig se sin o na craobhacha ar fud na tire. Tá Cumann Luthchleas Gael bunaithe ar na craobhacha, is e sin le ra go mbraitheann Cumann Luthchleas Gael ar charthanacht an phobail.

Cen fáth mar sin go bhfuil gá ar Chumann Luthchleas Gael athru? Ó tharla an Tiogar Ceilteach, d’athraigh meon na hÉireann, tá na sean-nosanna ag imeacht. Chomh maith le sin, tá an t-airgead caite le Cumann Luthchleas Gael ar staidiam nua, an ceann is fearr san Eoraip, deirtear, agus gan amhras an ceann is fearr in Éirinn. Is mar gheall ar sin, tá ead ag na cluichi eile do Chumann Luthchleas Gael.

Bhiodh caint ann faoi stadium nua a bheadh ann in “Abbotstown” ach mar gheall ar an rialtas, nior tharla an t-eachtra sin. Anois agus mar a bhiodh to “Landsdown Road” roinnte idir rugbai agus socair.

D’fheadfadh Cumann Luthchleas Gael breis airgid a fháil o na cumainn rugbai agus socair, ach ag cen costas? Tá páirc imeartha breá nua leagtha amach I

bPáirc an Chrocaigh faoi láthair, agus le peil Ghaelach agu iománaiocht, faigheann an pháirc sos sa

Le níos mó cluichí ag dul ar aghaidh i Páirc an Chrócaigh, bheadh an fhaiche breá nua scriosta Gheimhreadh. Le níos mó cluichí ag dul ar aghaidh i Páirc an Chrócaigh, bheadh an fhaiche breá nua scriosta. San am atá anois ann, faigheann Cumann Luthchleas Gael 50% den airgead o 12% an luicht feachanna-atá mar lucht corparáideacha. Ceapaim go bhfuil rudai cearta deanta ag Cumann Luthchleas Gael le haghaidh airgid go foill.

Le cluichi eile a imirt ar ár bhfaiche náisiunta, an mbeadh an dara háit ag na cluichi Gaelacha?

Dá mbeadh cluiche mhor rugbai le himirt, an mbeadh gá ag peil no iomanaiocht bogadh thar n-ais faoin tuath? An mbeadh an lámh in uachtar ag na cluichi Gaelacha mar ba cheart i bPáirc an Chrocaigh?

Mothaim go bhfuil cead agus ceart ag Cumann Luthchleas Gael a bheith in an nag coinneáil lenár gcluichi duchais.

An bhfuil an ceart ag luchtanna a maide a chur inár n-abhainn.

Faighimid go leor airgid o foinsi áirithe mar atá se. Bunaiodh Cumann Luthchleas Gael agus Páirc an Chrocaigh le muintir na hÉireann agus tá se ceart go mairfidh se le cluichi na hÉireann!

Dialann Ghealgeoir na Gealltlainne!

Paul Mulville Tá sé ag cur báistí anseo. Níl mé ag gearán faoi ach seo mar a tá. Is fuath liom na fhearthainn. Níl sna scamaill ach an stuif salach as an gcathair, an nimh, an siadht ar fad.

Salachar an na gluaisteáin an chuid is mó. Tá busannaí, traenachaí, an Luas, slíthe rothair is Dart ag muintir na cathracha, ach fós...

Táim ag déanamh iarracht alt a scríobh ach fós fhéin ní feidir. Tá sé ag cur báistí is nílim in ann mo aigne a dhíriú ar rud eicint ar leith.

Caitheann sé bheith sách suimiúl chun súile is meón na mac léinn a mhealladh dá léamh.

Bhí cat agam nuair a bhí mé im ghasúr. Cat dhon dáth marmaláide a bhí ann. Níor liomsa é chur ar bith, ach lá amháin agus mo mháthair ina suí sa ngairdín cúil, bhí an cat seo ag siúl ar an lána taobh amuigh is bhuail sí isteach ar son “chat” gairid. Bhí mo mháthair lán sásta nóiméad nó dhó a chur

isteach. leis an gcat seo, ós rud é go raibh sí ag scríobh tuairisce fada dhon obair, is bhí sí díreach th’éis cupán deas tae a réiteach dí fhéin. Marbh gan tae agus marbh gan é, mar a deir mo sheanmháthair, go m’fhada a shaoil.

Ní raibh tae ó Mharmaláid, mar ab ainm dhon chuairteoir, mar chat a bhí innti.

Tháinig an traein. Fuair mé suíochán is lean mé ag scríobh. Níl morán suim agam san ábhar ach fós is maith liom na focail a fheiceáil ar an leathanach. Tá sé cosúil leis an dialann atá agam cois mo leapa.

Scríobhaim rud beag stuif síos chuile oíche agus go hiondúil, tá sé níos eascaí dhom ‘dhul im’ chodladh mar gheall ar sin. Bíonn m’aigne lom th’éis chuile rud ‘chur isteach sa dialann. Muna dhéanann sin bíonn an stuif im’ cheann an oíoche ar fad agus ní feidir liom ‘bheith ar mo shuaimhneas.

Chuir duine eigean ceist ormsa i rith na seachtaine. D’iarr sé ormsa cad chuige ar phioc mé an

Ghearamáinis mar ábhar ollscoile.

Dúirt mé rud faoi dhul chuig an Aontas Eorpach agus obair ann ar son cúig nó sé do bhliana sa mBruiséal mar aistrítheoir. Bheadh an t-airgead go maith ann. Th’éis seal ‘chur isteach sa dtír sin, bhogfaidh mé ar ais go hÉirinn is ghobhaidh mé post múinteoireachta.

Ach an stuif a dúirt mé an lá sin, na focail a tháinig ón mbéal ‘s agam, ba thruflais é sin go huile is go hiomláin. Níor smaoinigh mé ariamh ar bpost sa mBruiséal nó jab aistriúcháin agus mé ag líonadh isteach an fhoirm sin dhon LárOifig Iontrála.

Stop mé ag scríobh soiceand

amháin ansin. Ach lean mé leis an t-alt im’ cheann. Ní bheidh na smaointí siúd in alt nuaíochta go deo deo aríst mar go bhfuil dearmad déanta ortha go huile is go hiomlán. Cén saghas caca ‚tá á scríobh agam? Tá sé fós ag cur báistí. Ní feidir liom díriú ar alt nó ar ábhar ar leith.

Scríbhneoirí de Dhith Ar mhaith leat altanna suimiúla Gaeilge a scríobh don Trinity News?

Má's maith leat, ba chóir dhuit bheith toilteanach scríobh faoi chúrsaí reatha a bhfuil suim agatsa iontu, trí mhean na Gaeilge Gabh i dteagmháil liom, Tony Ó Cuaig ar 086 333 4941 Nó seol ríomhphost chugam: quigga@tcd.ie

Sports Features Editor: Andrew Payne

Tuesday November 9, 2004

Trinity News

SPORTS

25

FEATURES

By the people, for the people Andrew Payne For many people the news that AFC Wimbledon equalled the alltime record for most consecutive unbeaten league games at any level of senior football in the United Kingdom last Tuesday will come as somewhat of a shock. Are Wimbledon not Division 2 (or Coca-Cola League 1 as it is now called) strugglers these days? Well yes, and no. The recent history of the club has rendered the moniker 'Crazy Gang' even more appropriate than it was in the side's heyday.

Most soccer fans will have a rough idea of the history of Wimbledon football club. The club was founded in 1889 and remained an amateur club playing in the nonleague until 1964 when it turned professional. It was not until 1977 however that they were elected to the League and in 1983 the side won the Division 4 league title.

This was followed by promotion to Division 2 the following season and to Division 1 (then England's top division) in 1986. The high point of the club's history then came in the FA Cup Final of 1988 where they faced double-chasing Liverpool. With the help of goalkeeper Dave Beasant, who became the first goalkeeper ever to save a penalty in an FA Cup Final when he pushed John Aldridge's effort away, and a goal by Lawrie Sanchez, the Crazy Gang sealed a 1-0 win to lift the trophy.

This historic victory was

the peak of the club's history. From that moment on however things were to slowly deteriorate. In the same year plans were approved by Merton Council to build a new 20,000 all-seater stadium up the road from home ground Plough Lane. Construction work was delayed however and after a change in political control of the council, the proposed site was instead turned into a car park.

Following the Taylor Report that resulted from the Hillsborough disaster, all English clubs were ordered to convert their stadiums to all-seater venues. As Plough Lane couldn't be turned into an all-seater, the collapse of work on the new stadium meant the club had to move in as tenants in Crystal Palace's Selhurst Park.

This was followed by a long and protracted effort to find a new home. Among the proposed new homes for the club was for a number of years Dublin. The idea would have seen the club become the 'Dublin Dons' who would remain in the English Premiership but play their home games here.

The obvious logistical and legal problems the move would arouse led to the plan being shelved along with most of the other proposed alternatives.

Although homeless, the 1990's were for the most part a good decade for the Dons. Under the management of former Irish international Joe Kinnear the club finished respectably in the

Premiership each season, reaching as high as 6th in 1994. On top of this the club had big name players in the likes of Vinnie Jones and John Fashanu. Fashanu who, as well as presenting Gladiators with Ulrika Johnsson, was paid by the goal at Wimbledon.

The club really started to come apart however with the sale of the club by chairman Sam

horror and anger by the club's fans who would now live 70 miles from their side. In the season prior to the move the club's matches were boycotted by their fans as well as those of many other clubs. The side proceeded to play home games to record low attendances, usually of only a few hundred. Upon completing the move in 2003 the club renamed itself the Milton Keynes

“The move was the last straw for fans who decided to form their own club rather than watch what they considered Wimbledon disappear” Hamann to Norwegian businessmen in 1997, followed by the sale of Plough Lane to the Safeway supermarket chain in 1998. Health problems also led to the departure of Kinnear who was replaced by Egil Olsen as manager. Olsen's time at the club was not to prove as successful as his predecessor's however, despite injections of transfer funds by the club's new owners. In 2000 the club were finally relegated from the top flight after 14 years. With their big name players and Premiership status gone the club quickly went into terminal decline.

In 2001 the club finally managed to find a new home in the form of the National Hockey Stadium in Milton Keynes. News of the potential move was met with

Dons. The move was the last straw for fans who decided to form their own club rather than watch what they considered Wimbledon disappear.

In 2002 AFC Wimbledon were created as the true club of Wimbledon fans. The side used the heraldic crest of Wimbledon, a two headed eagle as it's crest and wore Wimbledon's traditional blue kit with yellow trim. The crest, formerly used by Wimbledon, had been denied to them, along with the Wombles mascots, by the local council following their move to Milton Keynes. The new club immediately got the support of the rest of the club's fans with the various supporters groups switching their allegiance from the Milton Keynes Dons to AFC Wimbledon.

Golf scene heating up Fiachra McCabe The strength of world golf was again shown this year as a Bernard Langer-inspired European team marched into the pressure cooker atmosphere that was the Oakland Hills Golf and Country club in order to compete for Golf's blueRibboned show case: the 2004 Ryder Cup. And compete Europe certainly did. They went on to win by a record 18 1/2 points to the USA's 9 1/2 in a match that will be remembered as much for what went on outside the ropes as inside.

In this regard it was Hal Sutton who took centre stage for his brash management style, his controversial fourball and foursome pairings, particularly Woods and Mickelson, not to mention the Stetson that he wore to the first tee on Friday morning as he led his troops into battle.

This was in stark contrast to Europe's captain, Bernard Langer, who went about his business in a quiet, dignified and professional manner; an attitude that was mirrored by his team as they took control of the match on the first morning of the tournament.

Indeed, at the end of play on the first day Europe led by 6 1/2 to 1 1/2 and from there always appeared in total control of the situation.

Lee Westwood and Sergio Garcia were Europe's leading points scorers with 4 1/2 each while other notable contributors

were Luke Donald (2 1/2) and the team's talisman Colin Montgomerie who chipped in with 3 1/2 points that included holing the putt that won the match for Europe.

With Ireland hosting the next Ryder Cup in 2006 how influential were our national players in contributing to this record breaking performance? We can safely say that the future of Irish golf looks promising with the trio of Padraigh Harrington (4 points), Darren Clarke (3 1/2 points) and Paul Mc Ginley (2 1/2 points) all now reach-

recognisable sportsman on the planet, has been knocked off his perch by both Vijay Singh and Ernie Els and is now placed 3rd on the world ranking and has not won a stroke play tournament since the American Express championship in May of 2003. For a player of Woods' ability this statistic is absolutely extraordinary.

Another statistic that stands out at this present time is the fact that Vijay Singh has won six of the last eight tournaments he has played in and looks like a winner every time he tees the ball up. He

“Tiger Woods, now considered the most recognisable sportsman on the planet, has been knocked off his perch by both Vijay Singh and Ernie Els and is now placed 3rd on the world rankings” ing their peak in a game where experience and patience can make as much of a difference to winning as skill, aptitude and intelligence can. When we take into account the fact Graham Mc Dowell won on the European tour this term, eventually finishing sixth on the Order of merit, it is not unrealistic for the Irish sporting public to expect to have four Irish players on view at the K Club, in what is now regarded as the third largest sporting event in the world after the World Cup and the Olympics.

There has of course been another major movement in the world of professional golf. Tiger Woods, now considered the most

Tiger Woods: No longer the best in the world?

has become the first player to win over $10,000,000 on the US tour and in winning the Chrysler joins a very exclusive club including Byron Nelson, Ben Hogan, Sam Snead, Tiger Woods and Paul Ruynan to have won nine times on the US PGA tour. With over $1,000,000 going to the winner of the season ending tour championship (result not known at the time of print) it is quite possible that Singh will earn over $11,000,000 for the season and become the first player to win ten tournaments on tour since Sam Snead in 1950. The fact that a major was won on Singh's hot streak only lays substance to the

argument that he is the greatest player in world golf at the present time.

If Singh is dominant in the US then the same can be said for Ernie Els on the European tour.

He won five tournaments worldwide in 2004, retained the Order of Merit and for the second time recorded a three in a row in the same tournament when winning the HSBC World Matchplay championship for a record sixth time at Wentworth in the middle of October.

Els won the WGC American Express championship at Mount Juliet and while he didn't win a major it is possible to argue that he had the best record of all the professionals in the top competitions. Els missed out on the British Open in a playoff, the Masters, and US PGA by a shot and while he fell away on the last day of the US Open he was placed in the last group beside his friend and compatriot Retief Goosen, who eventually went on to defeat Phil Mickelson and win the tournament for the second time in his career.

When (Ireland's only major) or will Harrington and co continue to frustrate? Will we see the Americans perform and compete on the World stage as they try to restore some pride to the most powerful golfing nation on Earth?

As yet we don't know the answers to these questions but if this season is anything to go by we should be licking our lips in anticipation by the time the Masters comes around in springtime.

The club's home games are being played in The Fan's Stadium in nearby Kingsmeadow, though the long term plan is to move back to Wimbledon proper when possible.

AFC Wimbledon entered the Combined Counties League in 2002 and had a slow enough start.

2003/2004 went much better however with the club going the entire season unbeaten as they cruised to the league title. This good vein of form has continued into the new season with Tuesday 2nd November seeing the club equal the British record for most consecutive unbeaten league games with the 3-0 victory over Fleet Town marking their 75th straight league game without defeat. The club has the chance to make the record their own if they defeat Romley on the 13th of November.

Meanwhile Milton Keynes Dons' fortunes have continued to fade. While the club's attendances have at least started to increase since the move to Milton Keynes, they are still seen by many clubs' fans as 'Franchise FC'. The club's performances on the pitch have also been terrible with the side currently in the relegation zone of the old 3rd Division. While not many fans of AFC Wimbledon may shed a tear at the Milton Keynes' team's predicament, their own side is going from strength to strength. Their continuation of Wimbledon's tradition continues the Roy of the Rovers style history of the Crazy Gang.

Terry Phelan on the ball for Wimbledon FC

Kerr’s Striking Need for help After Ireland’s impressive start to the World Cup qualifying campaign with victories against Cyprus and the Faroe Island bookending away draws in Switzerland and France, Jonny Walls looks at the one problem currently facing boss Brian Kerr Blips on the horizon are relatively incapable of functioning with a 4- afield. There are plenty of potenfew and far between when it 3-3 system. The manager's experi- tial candidates but it remains to be comes to the current fortunes of ment proved to be significant for seen whether they could cut it at the national team. Manager Brian two major reasons. Firstly it the top. Southampton youngster Kerr has seen his charges place proved that while Duff and Keane Leon Best and Manchester City themselves in contention for a could play up front, they could not man Jonathan Macken are the only place in the World Cup finals in do so together to any great effect other Irish strikers with Germany 2006. His squad has just against the stronger teams. Premiership experience this seaone long term injury in the shape Furthermore it convinced Kerr that son. However both players have of Colin Healy, and Roy Keane is Connolly was not the solution to had limited opportunities to strut back in the fold after a two year his problems. their stuff on the English club absence. There is, however, one With Alan being offered scene this term. Many of the Upotential dilemma that Kerr could only cameo roles, Clinton 21's are either playing in the face in the not too distant future. A Morrison was given a clear run in National League or at lower divilack of quality strikers has been a the team towards the end of the sion clubs in England. While the thorn in the side of many an qualifiers. This enabled him to Cork City pairing of Liam Ireland manager Kearney and Kevin over the years and Doyle have shown netted nine times for great potential at both the problem may “Having soon arise once Sunderland this season it seems only fair club and underage again. international level, the D u r i n g that Stephen Elliott should be given his reality is that the the qualifiers for League of Ireland is not chance” the last European yet of a sufficiently Championships the high quality to select Dubliner called on the services of stake a claim as Robbie Keane's National team players from it . The Robbie Keane, Damien Duff, striking partner. Despite coming in Brentford forward Jay Tabb must David Connolly, Gary Doherty, for much criticism in the media at also ply his trade at a higher level Clinton Morrison and Alan Lee in the time because of his goal scor- if he is to make the Graduation a bid to find a winning formula in ing drought, the Birmingham City into the senior Ireland set up. the final third of the pitch. It met man showed he had the raw mateThat leaves just one of with mixed fortune. 'The Doc', or rials to deliver as an international Don Given's charges with a realisGary Doherty as he is known to striker. Physically strong, pacey, tic chance of being called up by you and I, ended the competition good in the air, Morrison began the Brian Kerr. He's playing regularly as leading Irish scorer but failed to latest campaign with a bang. He at a reasonably high level and most remove the question marks hang- scored two goals in four games importantly he is scoring. Having ing over his ability at this level. and produced some of his best dis- netted nine times for Sunderland His first touch has proven to be a plays alongside Keane. this season it seems only fair that major weakness while his lack of This duo are undoubted- Stephen Elliott should be given his mobility is a further handicap to ly Kerr's preferred partnership up chance. The former Manchester his chances at nailing down a strik- front and when they play at their City lad is a natural goalscorer, a ing birth in the national team. The best they are indeed a potent com- commodity not found in the curDonegal man's dominance in the bination. However the problem rent Irish squad. For a small playair cannot be questioned but the arises when one of them is injured er Elliott's ability in the air is reality is that he simply cannot or loses form. Fortunately impressive. That coupled with his hold the ball up as effectively as Morrison's current knee problem pace and eye for goal means that Niall Quinn managed in the days comes at a time when the Boys in he is the only un-capped option of auld.

Green are not involved in com- open to Kerr at this time.

As that unsuccessful peditive action. However the It's a slightly worrying campaign unfolded Kerr tinkered injury does serve to remind Kerr state of affairs. There are many talwith the formation of the team and that he must use the upcoming ented young strikers in this counincluded David Connolly in a friendly against Croatia to take a try but so few of them are ready to three pronged attack that also look at his striking options. If we make that leap into international included Damien Duff and Robbie accept the view that Gary Doherty football in the near future. Until Keane. While Connolly was indus- is not good enough at this level that time comes coach Kerr will be trious and troublesome for defend- and Alan Lee and David Connolly hoping Keane and Morrison ers he failed to get on the score- will never be Kerr's first choice remain injury free. sheet in any of his appearances. then it is clear the Irish boss will More importantly the team seemed have to spread the net further

26

Tuesday November 9, 2004

SPORT Walking Alone?

Patrick Nulty & Andrew Payne Liverpool football club are without question one of the most famous and illustrious names in world football. For almost thirty years they were the dominant force in the English game and managed to win four European cups during that glorious era. The bootroom dynasty of Shankly, Paisley, Fagan and Dalglish, coupled with the daunting sight of the famous ‘Kop’ end in full voice proved to be an alluring mix of strategy, passion and skill that set the standards by which all “great” sides are measured across Europe. However tragedies like the Heysel stadium disaster and Hillsborough are permanent scars in the mind of every Liverpool supporter. However Liverpool’s fortunes have been mixed in recent years and it is now time to take stock of the clubs present state.

In May 1990 Liverpool beat Coventry 6-1 on the final day of the season. This was an inspiring performance from a championship team. That was fifteen seasons ago and Liverpool have not won the league since then. The team that won the league in 1990 marked the end of an era. Within eighteen months the manager (Kenny Dalglish) had resigned and key players like Ray Houghton, Steve Staunton and Peter Beardsley had been sold by new manager Graeme Souness to fund his ill fated rebuilding programme. Despite winning the F A Cup in 1992 Souness upset fans and supporters by

Sports Features Editor: Andrew Payne

FEATURES

changing training methods, playing staff, and tactics too quickly and without any real strategy in mind.

Souness was finally sacked in January 1994 after a pathetic defeat in the FA Cup at home to Bristol City. His replacement was Roy Evans. Evans was a member of the old Anfield bootroom who sought to restore the club’s traditional values and attacking style of play.

Initially Evans made positive strides in developing the club.

Exciting young talents like Robbie Fowler, Steve McManaman and Jamie Redknapp took the Premiership by storm. However

another huge turnover of players, Houllier failed to bring the coveted league title back to Merseyside.

However Houllier was relatively successful bringing five trophies and regular Champions League football back to Anfield. As things started to go wrong for Houllier health problems struck as he collapsed during a match with heart trouble. While he was recovering the club appointed his assistant and former player Phil Thompson as caretaker manager. Like many of Liverpool’s recent full time bosses, Thompson was initially successful, winning the Premiership Manager

“Liverpool’s fortunes have been mixed in recent years and it is now time to take stock of the club’s present state” Evans’ Liverpool team, while playing good football, lacked the steel and determination of true champions. Despite not finishing outside the top four during his time in charge Evans could not take Liverpool back to the top of the English game. Ineffective purchases in the transfer market were another factor in this failure. The combination of these ultimately ensured his downfall.

The appointment of former French national team coach Gerard Houllier (initially as joint manager with Evans) was seen as a breakthrough for Liverpool. The arrival of a leading European coach was a signal of intent on behalf of the Liverpool board that they were determined to bring success to the club. Despite early success and yet

of the Month award before another slump prior to Houllier’s full time return as boss. Unfortunately the Frenchman couldn’t add to his earlier successes and eventually he lost the confidence of the board and fans largely due to his team's negative playing style.

The solution to Liverpool’s woes was once again seen to be a foreign coach when the club appointed Spaniard Rafael Benitez as Houllier’s successor.

Benitez, or ‘Rafa’as he is known, gained prominence managing Valencia to two La Liga titles in the last three years as well as a UEFA Cup last season. The domestic successes made all the more impressive given the ever-growing list of ‘galacticos’at big spending rivals Real Madrid. The Madrid connec-

tion was about to become greater for Liverpool fans however as within a few weeks of Benitez’s arrival local hero Michael Owen was sold to ‘Les Meringues’ for 10 million euro. Hopes that Euro 2004 top scorer Milan Baros and new signing Djibril Cisse would immediately form a good partnership never came to fruition and have been now further dashed by Cisse breaking his leg in a Premiership match against Blackburn Rovers.

Liverpool’s shaky start to the season has been particularly noticeable in their lacklustre away performances.

Is it a case of more of the same then just with another new man in charge? The answer is that it’s too early to tell. Benitez has proven with Valencia that he’s a very good manager, Claudio Ranieri’s difficulties in replicating Benitez’s success only serve to underline this point. Liverpool’s fans demand success however and much is expected of the new man.

What’s in Benitez’s favour however is time - each of his predecessors has been given more time than counterparts at other Premiership clubs such as Spurs, another side to witness a big name managerial arrival over the summer in the form of the now already departed Jacques Santini. Another European Cup or league title is unlikely to arrive come May but a substantial improvement in performance and a strong showing would surely be considered a good start by the Kop faithful.

Trinity News The girls’ guide to football: Everything you never wanted to know about the beautiful game Christine Bohan Week 3: Football and fashion Or perhaps that should be football versus fashion.

Because for a wide number of socio-cultural, sociological and aesthetic reasons, the two go together like women and football - a dangerous, potentially lethal and quite frankly unnecessary combination.

Football's legacy to fashion has been a bleak one - think of Kevin Keegan's perm, Bobby Charlton's comb-over, the bright orange kit sported by the Dutch team, any Liverpool player you care to mention, the wearing of the Irish jersey by every cream cracker on the street on the day of a match, David Beckham and the M o h a w k / r o s a r y beads/women's knickers etc... the list is, unfortunately, infinite.

We here at Girls Guide came in for some critTop 5 fashion disasters in football ever 5. Freddie Ljungberg and the spiky red Mohawk. Why would such a good looking man go out of his way to look unattractive?

Failure to achieve a league title has seen numerous managers walk away from Anfield in recent times

4. Liverpool at the 1996 FA Cup final - for the pre-match walk around the pitch, the Reds unadvisedly opted for 'snappy' cream suits, cream

icism in our last column for daring to mock the monstrosity of a shirt that AC Milan forces its squad to wear (red and black stripes - surprisingly similar to Longford Town actually). Which merely proves to us that football fans are blinded by their fervour and know absolutely nothing about fashion, thus necessitating a guiding hand to gently but firmly set them straight (ie, us).

By the way, did you notice the number of mentions that one man got just there in crimes against fashion? That's because David Beckham has done for fashion what Stalin did for the Russians. The casual observer may think he's a good thing, possibly may even work in theory, but in practice, the result is a monstrosity that should never been inflicted upon mankind. For some reason unbeknownst to us, this man, who has tried to get away with white suits, a sarong, his wife's knickers,

corn rows and matching leather outfits with Mrs. Beckham still manages to command some kind of respect for his alleged prowess on the football pitch (still living on the glory days of 4 years ago when he was actually a slightly decent player). We here at Girls Guide will have none of it Beckham is useless on the pitch and really not that good looking. Freddie Ljungberg in tight Calvin Klein underwear is however, a whole other issue.

Football does throw up the odd saviour - honourable mentions must go to Eric Cantona, the player who was always too good-looking to belong to that Man United squad of the mid-late 90's, and Jose Mourinho, the besuited manager of Chelsea, who always looks dapper.

However these two men are freak occurrences in the world of football.

shoes and red ties, with the result that they looked like the cast of a low-budget mafia film.

Susannah occupied for years to come.

3. David Beckham and that sarong.

2. Wayne Rooney generally.

Being short and, lets face it, pug ugly means that anything this sartorially challenged Scouse chooses to wear could keep Trinny and

1. David Seaman's ponytail.

Instructed by Arsene Wenger to chop it off because it made him 'less aerodynamic', for many years the 'tail was symbolic of one man's struggle against the mid-career crisis.

Eventually cut off in 2002, and neither he nor the hair has been heard of since.

The Fan’s Guide to Other Clubs’ Fans People choose to identify with different musical subcultures such as punks or Goths because they feel the collective personality traits they exhibit represent aspects of their own personalities. Similarly the football team you choose to support may be the result of the attraction we feel to others like us. In some cases the reasons are obvious: if you have a copy of the proclamation on the wall and a gun fetish, the chances are you're a Celtic fan. If you're a rampant alcoholic with an overwhelming desire to burn things, you're probably fond of Shamrock Rovers. With this in mind Fintan Brunkard has sought to define the characteristics which bind fans of different teams into identifiable groups.

Liverpool Churchill once stated that he disliked dogs for always looking up at you, and hated cats for always looking down upon you, but he loved pigs for always looking you straight in the eye.

The Liverpool fan is that pig. Whilst you can look them straight in the eye and respect them for being die-hard football fans with an unquestionable passion for the game, it cannot be forgotten they are essentially odious creatures. Filled with delusions of grandeur from a long gone golden era they assume to be one of the great powers of Europe football, blind to the reality that they have become inconsequential nearly rans. Though your typical Liverpool fan is likely to bore you to death with a lengthy homo-erotic adulation of Steven Gerard, he is less likely to pay up on bets incurred from their inevitable failings on the pitch. If you happen to be somehow socially attached to such an individual keep an eye on your polo sport shirts as scouse gits are notorious petty thieves with a penchant for designer sports wear.

Star fan: Ricky Tomlinson In a nutshell: Bitter alcoholics.

Leeds United Leeds fans can be readily identified by the large supplies of savlon they keep to help heal injuries incurred from knuckle dragging. Poorly socialized, uncultured, and prone to violence your average Leeds fan is likely to believe that Caravaggio is a centre-half for Parma.

The utter contempt all other supporters hold them in is the one unifying force of English football.

Star fan: Scary Spice In a nutshell: Avoid.

Spurs A rare occurance these days, the Spurs fan is the odd kid at school that no one likes. Just like his team he is likely to be a master of the mediocre whose only burning ambition in life is to be a chartered accountant. Notoriously tight-fisted this group have developed round dodging into a fine art form. There is more chance of getting an away win in the San Siro than getting a pint from a Spurs fan. Constantly having to settle for a mid-table position has led to Spurs fans generally being unambitious suburbanites.

Star fan: Alan Sugar In a nutshell: Tight fisted.

Chelsea Excluding the new influx of 'Chelski' fans or band wagon hoppers, being a Chelsea fan is like being a fan of any of the big three London clubs and denotes being of the middle classes. Known as Junior 'Gers in this part of the world and the club of choice of the Tory party they have cultivated a reputation for being too to the right of centre to be a normal member of society. While not exactly being Lazio Ultras, the Chelsea fan is not likely to be a champion of the Welfare state or make an argument on the positives of multi-culturalism.

Star fan: John Major In a nutshell: Moderate racists.

Arsenal This group kept well under the radar for years but now can be identified by their petulent arrogance due to their recent impressive success. Like the Liverpool fan they imagine themselves to be a power in European football. Unlike the Reds however they have no European Cups in the trophy cabinet to give legitimacy to this position. The most galling thing to the Gunners is the fact United or Liverpool fans don't hate them more, but at the end of the day it's hard to get worked up about a mid sized team of no great significance. Therefore your typical Arsenal fan behaves like a spoilt child throwing tantrums every now and again to get attention. If this happens in a social setting reduce their sugar intake, pat them on the head, and tell them what a good player Henry is. Then maybe you will get some peace.

Star fan: Dale Winton In a nutshell: Insignificant.

Manchester United Hated and reviled by other fans the world over simply for the fact that they know their club will never be Manchester United, the true United fan is a person whom all others aspire to be. The joyous/tragic saga that is the history of Manchester United has created a fan base of poetic, determined individuals of impeccable character embodied in the form of club legend Eric Cantona.

The United fan knows what greatness is and what jealousies it brings and, like his club, would rather be loved and hated than universally liked. As such he takes the petty tauntings of his lessers in his stride.

Star fan: Phil Lynnot In a nutshell: Kings of men.

Aston Villa A dying bread at the moment, Villa enjoyed brief popularity in this country during the mid-nineties when Ireland legends such as Paul McGrath, Steve Staunton, Ray Houghton and Andy Townsend were all regulars. As a result Villa fans are generally more interested in Ireland's fortunes than club football. Though affable friendly individuals, their innate lack of passion makes them dull company.

Star fan: Ozzy Osbourne In a nutshell: Nice but dim.

Sports Editor: Eamonn Hynes

Tuesday November 9, 2004

Trinity News

27

SPORT

DUFC beat Buccaneers on College Park Roger Hamilton Everybody said they could not do it, but they forgot to tell the students. The largest crowd seen in College Park in recent times witnessed a fast and ferocious contest between two very determined teams on a heavy but dry pitch of varying quality.

For the second week running Trinity started slowly, as the visitors took the game to the home team. Buccaneers were awarded a penalty for their pressure and full back Justin Meagher duly kicked the points. Trinity came back with some pressure of their own as they took the visitors through the phases. Full back Simon Mitchell opened his account with an easy penalty after six minutes.

Trinity began to dominate possession and territory, the forwards began to pressure their illustrious opponents into errors as every ball was heavily contested loose or tight. The defences smashed into each other. Trinity managed to keep the ball for longer than their opponents and Mitchell kicked another penalty. Meagher equalised as the battle raged on. Mitchell kicked another penalty after a storming attack by backs and forwards fully stretched the visitors defence into infringing.

Trinity then scored the only try of the game when the forwards drove the ball up the left hand touch line. The play broke up and Trinity attacked the blindside, Mitchell kicked ahead and won the chase to the ball for a great opportunist try on 37 minutes. It was14-6

to Trinity at half time.

Trinity looked good value for their lead at half time as they had dominated most of the first half and never had their line really pressured at all. The second half would be a different story, Buccaneers lifted their game and took it to the hosts. Trinity’s defence now had to stand up and be counted. The fact that they held their opponents to only two penalties shows that they managed to do this. The hits and double hits were savage as the boys in white put their bodies on the line. Between all this pressure they also created the best chance of the second half when winger Phil Howard was put away down the on the right wing. He chipped an excellent ball and was only denied a sensational try by a sliding boot over the goal line.

The game then seemed to follow a familiar pattern, with the students sitting back on their eight point lead. Buccanneers would kick a penalty and the students would come straight back down and score one of their own to keep the same margin, Mitchell kicking two penalties to two from Meagher.

The Trinity forwards were magnificent at scrum and in driving play surprising the visitors with their power. The students attacked when they could and the backs penetrated several times without really cutting wide open. Both teams scrambled back on defence to thwart any chance of another try.

As the game progressed into the final minutes the pack tore into the visitors and pushed them off two or three scrums. The front row of Niall Conlon, Matt Crockett and

Forrest Gainer came out of the scrum to rapturous cheers from the home supporters. The final whistle was greeted with the biggest cheer of all as the team and supporters celebrated their first division one win.

This win has clearly surprised many in Irish rugby circles. The story is now out that Trinity have a competitive Division one team.

The students will not be able to sneak up on anybody anymore. It is worth mentioning at this stage that Dolphin won their first two or three games last year in Division one, but were still relegated. The students have a very difficult task when they travel to Belfast this Friday (5th November for a 7.30pm KO) to play perennial powerhouse Belfast Harlequins who are sure to belaced with professional players. This will

undoubtedly be the toughest challenge so far this season.

Dublin University: S Mitchell, P Howard, B Hastings, J Quigley, B Canavan, D Crotty, P McCormack, N Conlon, M Crockett, F Gainer, M Garvey, M Warburton (D Hayes 79), E Molloy, J Heaslip, H Hogan (Capt.).

Buccaneers: J Meagher, C Lavelle, P O’Sullivan, W Wallace (Capt.), O Grennan (A Downey 79), NO’Hara, A Cloonan, M diffley (M Cahill 75), G Halligan (M Madden 76), N Smullen, R McCann, T Richardson (C Finnerty 68), D Kelly, E Brennan.

Referee: A McDowell.

Man of the Match: Simon Mitchell (Dublin University) The good news for the club continued on Sunday when The Trinity 2nd XV remained unbeaten (4

wins) in league play with a convincing 57-0 over Wanderers at Merrion road. The 2nd XV have many fine players and they are all keeping pressure on their 1st XV counterparts. In fact at the moment it is very competitive to get on the 2nd XV. The Trinity U20s won through to the University U20s championship final with emphatic victories over UCG 39-0 and the hosts UL Bohemians 23-12 in the group stages on Saturday. In the 25 minute each way final they drew with UCC 3-3 in appalling wet and muddy conditions. They shared the prestigious Conroy cup with their Cork counterparts in what was a true battle of attrition.

Paintballing not a Sport? So say DUCAC

SPORT COMMENT: Henry Joyce DUPSS or Dublin University Paintball and Speedball Society are the latest edition to the CSC’s myriad of societies. The intention was to affiliate DUPSS to DUCAC however it was deemed that paintball was ‘not a sport’. For the last number of years, the society’s Captain, Mick Durcan, has been known to dilly-dally about the arts block/Hamilton building peddling in paintballing trips. Engineering student Durcan does an excellent job managing this successful adventure activity which has evolved over the years culminating in its recent membership of the CSC. Of course some blatantly say paintball is not a sport. The idea of

paintballing stems from the adventure sport business and would hardly be considered a noble, purist activity whose purpose is that of athletic endeavor. To quote Durcan ‘Paintball doesn’t require any set physical level, race, creed or sex, so everybody can play. It is a recreational activity…’. There is no national paintballing body either here or in the UK and the idea of paintballing appears to exist in order to satisfy young men’s primitive instinct of ‘the hunt’, and fulfill that childhood fantasy of running around in camouflage pretending to be a navy seal, GI Joe or some other idol.

The paintballing society, unlike similar weapon based organisations such as the DU Rifle Club (DUCAC affiliated), is a social exercise and requires little skill or indeed commitment. Unlike the

Rifle Club who would foster the responsible use of weapons in a controlled environment, the Paintball Society trivialises weapon usage and promotes the reckless use of weaponry as if we were living in the republic of Texas. It’s no wonder that DUCAC decided not to allow DUPSS affiliate and therefore be representative of sport at Trinity.

DUPSS has a commercial side to it too and they allow a well known Co. Wicklow paintball proprietor to be the exclusive sponsors of their society. Despite commercial sponsorship and CSC funding paintballing is not cheap! Prices begin at €40 which would exclude most students of meagre background. And so there remains 49 clubs in DUCAC, most of which have a primary goal of excelling in their chosen discipline. There are

questions over the standards achieved by some clubs and their levels of activity/participation.

Most aim to very high standards but there are questions over some are they primarily devoted to sporting excellence or are most of the resources pumped into ‘piss up’ weekends away and ‘nights out’?

Mick Durcan of DUPSS was recently quoted in the University Record as saying ‘We are not adverse to medicinal alcoholic anesthetic remedy’ - No DUCAC Club Captain would eever be caught coming out publicly with such a proclamation. The statement would however typify much of the reasoning behind the society’s cavalier attitude towards serious sporting ambition and the decision not to grant the paintballers Club status.

Coach Corner: Rowing Charlotte Ashe Back in 1976, with the foundation of Dublin University Ladies Boat Club, it would have been unthinkable that men and women would be trained simultaneously and side by side under the guidance of one coach at Trinity College’s boathouse in Islandbridge. Up until then, the men’s club DUBC, formerly DURC until its amalgamation in 1898 and with its long history and tradition, had been strictly men only.

Now in 2004, however, Tim J.S. Levy, more familiarly known to members as Tim, coaches members of these clubs side by side, contributing to the co-existence of DUBC and DULBC in an evermore co-operative environment.

With never-ending enthusiasm and encouragement, Levy is a positively supportive and highly skilled rowing coach. Currently residing in the boathouse, Islandbridge, four times a week, Tim spends the early hours coaching keen rowers before college, either cycling up and down the bank watching with a knowing eye, often jumping in to stroke the odd boat himself if the slightly lazier rower has decided to give himself the morning off. He also supervises land training in College during the week, taking times and encouraging the crews off the water.

A competitive man, a vital quality for what is always a serious season in modern Irish rowing, Tim is always present at heads and regattas to spur on his carefully moulded crews as they compete with their competition. This positive attitude,

of course has lead, over the past three years to some very successful times for Trinity rowing.

Sofar Tim has achieved the following major wins whilst coaching at Trinity: 2001-2002: DULBC Henley Women’s Regatta final, Womens Senior Pair, Corcoran Cup, DULBC unbeaten in domestic heads, Womens Senior 8 Trinity Regatta 2002-2003: Gannon Cup, Temple Cup (beaten by eventual winners), Womens Senior Pair, LEBC Semifinal at Henley Royal Regatta 2003-2004: Gannon Cup, Womens Senior Pair, Henley semi-finalists (Student 4+’s), University Grand Challenge Cup Trinity Regatta, LEBC semi-final, DUBC/LEBC 2nd at London Head of the River.

An impressive array of accomplishments by any standards!

Tim Levy following the action at Gent, Belgium earlier this year.

Both on and off the water, Tim has had a direct influence on improving both the clubs individually, as well as inter-relations between the two, going way beyond the call of duty. Tim is as much a friend to the clubs as he is, a highly respected coach. In celebrating a win, Tim is a man like no other. A night out really wouldn’t be the same without the boundless energy with which Tim has a good time, so hopefully he’s here to stay, and will bring continued success and pride to Trinity rowing. The head season begins this Saturday with Neptune Head on November 13th. Expect a full race report in the next edition.

Does your club have a coach who deserves some recognition?

Contact sportseditor@trinitynews.com and we’ll send a reporter and photographer.

Photo: Eamonn Hynes

Expect to see lots more of these guys about campus...

DUCAC AGM Roger Hamilton The DUCAC AGM was a rather low key affair but before proceedings could begin, a young man from GAISCE was permitted free reign of the microphone (for several minutes) to encourage people to participate in the President’s Awards Programme. This addition to the agenda certainly did not appear at the front gate seven days before the AGM. Turnout was rather good although much of this consisted of DU Boat Club members and GAA Club members with a few Windsurfing/Croquet chaps mixed in.

Ms. Ruth Collins regurgitated the minutes from the previous year talking as fast as she possibly could (at times sounding like she was reading the terms and conditions at the end of a radio advertisement for SSIAs). Indeed after this formality she presented an excellent, diligent and detailed report of a hugely successful sporting year in Trinity and was warmly applauded for the huge contribution she made. Terry McAuley presented his ‘Director of Sport’ report although questions did arise in the Pavillion bar afterwards as to the constitutionality of his contribution given that the Director of Sport and Recreation is not a member of the DUCAC Executive. There is a bit of a grey area as to the role of the Department of Sport and the role of DUCAC within the University -

DUCAC as of late seem to have taken on the role of club management and ensuring sporting success whereas the Dept. of Sport appear to look after the management of the Luce Hall and the provision of facilities for athletes.

Terry McAuley went on to speak of the ongoing sports centre project. The latest completion date is now ‘December 2006’ although at this stage wolf has been cried so many times that nobody will believe him. It was a perfect opportunity for the Students’ Union to ask questions and gain information however true to form, no representative was present to question the monumental delays in the provision of top class sporting facilities for athletes. One wonders why students bother paying the €8 ‘levy’ during registration – most don’t realise, but it’s an optional charge all of which is used to pay for officer’s salaries, black holes of debt and useless rubber glove fresher’s packs…

Highlights of the year that were noted included the 150 years of rugby celebrations, DU Boat club reaching the semi-finals at Henley Royal Regatta, a century of women in Trinity College, DU Boxing Club’s Cambridge series and DU Football Club gaining promotion to the 1st division of the AIL. No mention was made of the hugely successful Trinity Regatta nor of DUSSC’s hosting of the first Irish Snow Sports Intervarsities at Kilternan, Co. Wicklow earlier this year.

Then it was on to the election of the new officers. Prof. T.T. West retained the Chair as predicted, Ruth Collins got a bit of a scare from a Mr. Paul Lynn who turned up with his buddies (however he was defeated after a poor speech), the Pavillion Members remained unchanged and most of the Officers were unchanged. The real fight was for the position of the eight club representatives. A huge number went forward for election but most were never going to go very far as the larger clubs had already pooled together and done some political horse trading well in advance of the meeting. Those elected were Stephen Heary (Boat), Rachel Liu (Ladies Boat), Eamonn Hynes (Aikido), Thomas Murphy (Windsurfing), Mark Munnelly (GAA), Shane O’Driscoll, John Kenna and Pamela Fitzgerald.

All in all DUCAC appears to be in good health. Those working away in house 27 are doing an excellent job and have last year’s results to prove. Finances are in order thanks to prudent budgeting, money from college, €85,000 from the Pavillion Bar and further additional support from the Trinity Trust. There are still hurdles to be overcome in terms of the provision of better facilities such as the Sports Centre and the vaying standard of the rugby playing surface, however these will surely be overcome under the guidance of the new Executive Committee.

28

Tuesday November 9, 2004

Sports Editor: Eamonn Hynes

Trinity News

SPORT

Gearoid Towey – Trinity Student, Olympic Oarsman & World Champion Roger Hamilton Trinity News took time out to talk to Gearoid Towey, who last summer represented Ireland at the olympic games in Athens. Gearoid, often known as 'Gags' in the Irish rowing scene, teamed up with Sam Lynch (Trinity medicine student) to form a men's lightweight double for the summer games.

The build-up to the games was well planned and well thought out under the guidance of their coach, the legendary Thor Nielsen. Both students took a year out from their studies to pursue that all elusive Olympic gold. The double spent all of last year training (OctoberApril) in Seville, Spain where the facilities and climate are far more favourable than those available in Ireland. Training was gruelling and hugely demanding of both athletes with four or five sessions a day not being uncommon. There was room for little else in their minds except that of total concentration on the task at hand, tending to their aching bodies and visualising that start line in Athens.

Then it was time to race in Germany, gauge their progress and get some practice under race conditions. After Germany, the double competed at the world championships in Lucerne, Switzerland expecting to come out with a medal. At this point disaster struck and Gearoid got shingles. The double did just two races and then pulled out. Of course Gearoid didn't know exactly what was wrong with his body until afterwards when he was diagnosed for certain.

This was a pivotal point in the Olympic plan - Gearoid returned home to Ireland and got sorted out

by Dr. Nick Mahoney (Anatomy Dept.) and Prof. Moira O'Brien (also Anatomy). It was important not to let this setback upset their plan so they cleared their minds and didn't let things upset them too much. A break had been factored in for after Lucerne anyway, and this was used as a recovery period - a chance to gather their thoughts before the real race preparations.

Once Gearoid was well again they went to north Sweden and got straight back into hard training.

There they trained alongside the Norwegian heavyweight double.

Most importantly though Gearoid seemed fit and well. It was then down to Lake Jarun in Zagreb, Croatia for acclimatisation and

final olympic preparations.

At Athens, the Irish double did not live up to their own expectations just missing out on qualification for the final being knocked out in the semi-finals.

Describe your rowing career so far.

That is, from junior oarsman to olympian?

It all started in Fermoy. I went to school in Fermoy and my brothers and sisters rowed. My father coached and got very involved down in the boat club. He then got really involved and brought me right through the Irish junior rowing system. I first went to the Coupe in ’93 then on to the junior world championships '94 (5th place), junior world championships '95 (5th place), won U23 World Championships '96, World Championships '98 (4th), World Championships '99 (3rd), qualified for 2000 Sydney olympics, won world championships in 2001 with Tony O’Connor, won 2002 World Cup, 6th at World Cup 2003, teamed up with Sam Lynch and won bronze at the 2003 World Championships. Then it was Olympics 2004. So it's been a steady progression over the years. I always wanted to become an international oarsman even at the age of 12. I used to watch all the rowing videos. Rowing was a thing that just evolved in the household.

Had you other plans when you were 18?

I had always wanted to do geography and always planned to do it at some stage. I wanted to do it properly and not study in a half wit sense so it’s actually quite cool being able to come back to study at Trinity.

What was your relationship with your coach Thor Nielsen like?

Thor has been involved with me on and off since I was 17. He’s in his 70s and knows the rowing scene inside out. When he talks, you listen and that’s a very important quality. There’s so much other stuff going on that it can be easy to lose focus. When he spoke it was listened to which is really important because a lot of coaches talk and are not listened to which is wrong. This is particularly so at the highest levels when people think they know it all. Thor never shouts at people and does not do ‘hands on coaching’. He’ll let you row on and on and not say anything unless of course you’re doing something wrong at which stage he’ll correct

Gearoid Towey outside the Berkeley Library last week. you. The philosophy is developing yourself as a rower. You’ve got to work out yourself what you’re doing wrong before he tells you. If you’re not working it out, he’ll come over and tell you but it’s better to work it out for yourself because this means you can think on your own two feet. When you go out to race and the coach isn’t there, the knowledge gained stands up under pressure. Some athletes out there won’t do anything without the coach and if something goes wrong off the start, they don’t

know what to do. We [the boat] were almost an independent, separate entity, we knew what to do and completely took responsibility for ourselves. This is the way it was the whole way through.

Do you plan to continue rowing?

Yes. I want to go to Beijing Any specific ambitions?

I haven't got any specific road map just yet, but in the mean time I'm just running and cycling and keeping my body ticking over. I'm not ready to get back on the water just yet, but in due time I do want

to get back to training. I'm hoping to be able to compete next year.

What do you think of the standard of sporting excellence in TCD in general?

Pretty good. The sports science facilities available in the Anatomy Department are as good as any of the facilities available in the world.

This perhaps could be integrated to the existing sport structures. There should be an avenue available for those who really want to excel at sport rather than having to go outside of the university.

Photo: Roger Hamilton Do you drink?

Yes. However I was dry for nine months prior to the Olympics.

Irish Rowing has been hugely successful in comparison to other irish sports. How do you see the sport developing further?

It has definitely improved over the last couple of years in terms of management and structures. The sport has finally realised that results don’t just appear out of thin air. We've got to support the young people rather than relying on talent to just appear magically. This has

been the case in the past. I think now it’s definitely getting better with the new CEO, HPD (High Performance Director) and national coach. The NCTC in Limerick is also an invaluable resource.

You haven’t thought of racing the Gannon Cup? [Laugh….] I haven’t no. I would get into the whole College side of things but to do the training and all the international stuff as well as College work is demanding enough. To add in another layer would just overpower me!

Trinity News Rugby Colours 2004 Henry Joyce

COMPETITION To win two tickets for the Rugby Colours Match on Friday November 19th, just answer the following simple question:

Yes it’s that time of year again; Time to get out your black and red stripey socks, spray your labradore with red stripes or indeed turn up to the colours match next Friday 19th November in your finest of Trinity gear for the annual grudge.

It’s 150 years of Trinity Rugby

vs. 150 years of Belfield history.

With both teams in the 1st division of the All Ireland League, the match is expected to be of epic proportions, one where both teams will do whatever it takes to uphold the reputation of their respective universities.

For the last 8 or 9 years (we've lost count at this stage), Trinity have lost consistently to the well

established structure that is UCD Rugby. Under the guidance of John McClean, UCD have excelled themselves in the first division of the All Ireland League (AIL) and are always sure to put up a good fight.

Trinity, under coach Tony Smeeth, will certainly be the underdogs yet again but there is hope based on recent performances

Who is this year’s Rugby Coach?

Answers to sportseditor@trinity-news.com

by Friday 12th November.

DUFC in the scrum against UCD at Donnybrook last year.

against Galwegians and Buccaneers (see page 27 for more on the Buccaneers match). The squad is strong and well gelled after solid summer training including an intensive training camp in New York.

The match takes place on Friday November 19th at 6:30 pm in Donnybrook stadium. A pre-match lunch will take place at Jury’s

hotel, Ballsbridge with tickets costing €50 a head for tables of ten.

Lunch will commence at 3:30 pm.

Expect to see lots of the DUFC Old Boy brigade who will be along to cheer the next generation on.

Tickets can be bought from Rugby Club rooms, Goldsmith Hall (tel: 608 3486).

Trinity News prediction: Trinity will win by a narrow margin!