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Ireland’s

STUDENT

NEWSPAPER

Of

The

Year

Trinity News

2005

Ireland’s Oldest Student Newspaper

Est. 1947

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

trinity.news@tcd.ie

Rising Stars: Steve Clarke meets Bell X1

MUSIC

page 12

Vol.58 No.5

CilIian Murphy TNT Interview

Chomsky apologises to students for lecture cancellation Speech moved from Trinity to RDS, Three UCD lectures go ahead as planned David Molloy Controversial American academic Noam Chomsky cancelled a scheduled lecture in Trinity College last Wednesday due to excess demand for tickets, while three UCD lectures went ahead as planned.

Professor Chomsky apologised to students for the cancellation and said he hoped to return to Trinity in the future.

Chomsky was scheduled to deliver an Amnesty International lecture on ‘The War on Terror’ in the Ed Burke Theatre last Wednesday, January 18. But the speech was switched to the RDS at a late stage because the Trinity lecture hall was too small to cope with the demand for tickets. He was set to be the most high profile visitor to Trinity of the year.

Prof Chomsky, 77, is a world renowned linguist and critic of American foreign policy who has been named as ‘the world’s most cited living author.’

The left wing intellectual also turned down an invitation from the University Philosophical Society to address Trinity students in the Graduate’s Memorial Building. His office told the Phil that he could not accept an honorary patronage of the society as his schedule was already full.

Meanwhile, Prof Chomsky delivered three lectures at University College Dublin, including an address to UCD’s student debating societies, the Literary and Historical Society and Philsoc. Over 3,000 UCD students, staff and guests crammed into the O’Reilly Hall to see Chomsky on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday last.

Chomsky also took part in a book signing in Tower Records and a private address to the Institute of European Affairs during his short visit to Dublin which ended on Friday.

Prof Chomsky offered a personal apology to Trinity students for the cancellation and expressed a desire to visit the

Inside SU Nominations Open Get the lowdown on the latest cabdidate rumours See page 2

Society Funding Enda Hargaden looks at how much each society got this year

See page 18

Rail Rip-Off? Anne Marie Ryan looks at differences in student rail discounts

See page 6

How Much is Too Much?

College in the future.

In an email to Trinity News, Prof Chomsky said, “I'm afraid I can't help. I had nothing to do with the locations of lectures.

All arrangements were made by Amnesty International.”

“I'd be pleased if you could convey my apologies to students and others at Trinity who were left out in these arrangements.” He added, “I hope it will be taken care of in some later visit, not too long delayed, I hope.”

According to a College spokesperson, the decision to move the lecture from Trinity was a taken jointly by Trinity College and Amnesty International Irish Section. The College originally considered a video link between the Ed Burke lecture theatre and the Examination Hall in order to provide extra seating. But the demand for tickets was far beyond expectation, the College said. As a result the venue was changed to the 1800 seater Shelbourne Hall in the RDS. Trinity College retained a

role in organising the event.

A further lecture could not be arranged, according to Amnesty Ireland. “Unfortunately, his schedule does not permit him to speak to any of these groups [universities], as he will only be in Ireland for a short time and doing media work, etc. as well as his talk on the 18th.”

Trinity students and staff were originally allocated 150 places for this event, and received only an extra 25 tickets after the venue change, despite the greatly increased capacity.

Chomsky made headlines when he told the audience that Ireland may be complicit in “the supreme international crime.”

Described by Bono as ‘the Elvis of academia’, Chomsky is currently Professor of Linguistics in the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. In recent years, he has become better known for his opposition to American foreign policy, notably the Vietnam War.

Academic Noam Chomsky speaking at the Amnesty International lecture at the RDS last Wednesday Photo: Dara MacDonaill courtesy of the The Irish Times

Ocean Colour Scene set to play Ball John Lavelle Ocean Colour Scene are expected to be announced as the first of the headline acts for this year’s Trinity Ball later this week, Trinity News can reveal. A source close to Ents Officer Niall Hughes said that a deal had already been struck with the Manchester band.

According to the source, Ocean Colour Scene agreed to play the Ball early last week. He added that a number of up and coming acts would be added to the lineup

the price rise was “in line with inflation.” Tickets are expected to be made available for sale within the next few weeks.

The rock band achieved critical acclaim with their debut album Moseley Shoals, released in 1996 at the heyday of britpop. Their first single ‘The Riverboat Song’ was made famous as the theme tune of Chris Evans’ TFI Friday.

Since then the band has had mixed success with their lat-

at a later stage.

Mr Hughes said that nothing has been finalised yet but he told students to “expect a major announcement in the next few days.” MCD promotions, which is organising the Ball in association with Trinity Ents was unwilling to comment on the matter.

Meanwhile, the price of tickets is set to rise to €74, up €4 from last year. Hughes said that

est album A Hyperactive Workout for the Flying Squad only reaching number 30 in the British charts.

The band, once described by Noel Gallgher as “the second best band in Britain,” have previously been booked by MCD to play the Slane Festival in 2002 and Oxegen in 2004.

Ocean Colour Scene are already advertising a number of gigs in Ireland in early May before the Trinity Ball, which will take place on Friday, May 12.

Trinity Ball in depth: Page 4

Christine Bohan looks at Trinity students’ drinking habits

See page 2-3 TNT

Trinity News Two TNT returns wih features, columns, politics, books, theatre and more!

See supplement

Index College News p1-3 News Feature p4 National p6 International p7 Features p8-10 Film p11 Music p12-13 Food & Drink p14-15 Travel p16 Careers p17

Kearney makes first move towards modularisation John Lavelle

SU & Societies p18 Comment & Opinion p19-20 Letters p21 Gaeilge p22 Inter’l Students p23 Science p24 Sports Features p25-26 Sport p27-28

Look out for Issue 6 in Week 6!

Trinity academics have begun discussions about introducing a modularised degree programme to the College. In what is being seen as a highly significant development, the prospect of modularisation was raised by the Senior Lecturer, Colm Kearney at a meeting of the heads of department two weeks ago.

Before Christmas, Trinity News reported that Prof Kearney had introduced a proposal to scrap scholarship exams.

If introduced, modularisation would mean a radical overhaul of Trinity’s course programmes. Individual subjects would be sub-divided into shorter ‘modules’. The final examinations for each module would take place

Kearney: Reform during the academic year instead of in May. Modularisation could also mean more emphasis on continuous assessment and more flexible subject choices.

Advocates of a modular system point to the reduced emphasis on end of year exams and

the greater choice that it can offer students. Critics say that the system increases pressure on students because of more frequent examinations and encourages students to forget about a subject once a module is completed.

Some courses in Trinity already have modular structures, most notably Engineering.

Prof Kearney, who takes charge of the academic affairs of the College, told Trinity News that the next meeting of the heads of department “would discuss the academic portfolio on offer, including the possibility of modularisation.”

He added that following restructuring, it was now “an appropriate time” to review the courses available in Trinity and

Continued Page 3

Trinity FM in piracy cock up Sarah Hickey Campus radio outlet Trinity FM could face criminal prosecution after the station was forced to stop broadcasting last week when it was discovered that it was transmitting illegally. Under piracy law, the station could also be subject to large fines and confiscation of equipment if the authorities decide to pursue action.

On Thursday afternoon the plug was pulled on a broadcast when it was realised that Trinity FM's license with the Broadcasting Commission of Ireland did not cover the broadcast. In effect this meant that from Monday to Thursday the station was broadcasting on 97.3FM as a pirate sta-

tion and could be subject to criminal prosecution.

A source close to the station told Trinity News that the situation came about due to a mix up in communications between the station and the BCI about the dates for broadcasting in this term.

Trinity FM is only licensed to broadcast for three weeks in Hilary and Trinity term. The dates for the first of these weeks were mistakenly taken to be January 16 to 20.

The station has not made clear what the actual agreed dates were.

Radio piracy is an offence taken very seriously by the BCI with several recent raids on pirate operations in Cork and Dublin. While in the case of Trinity FM the piracy was claimed

Continued Page 3

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Tuesday January 24th, 2006

News Editor: John Lavelle

Trinity News

COLLEGENEWS

Rumours fly as SU nominations open All positions set to be contested Úna Faulkner Nominations for this year’s Students’ Union sabbatical elections opened on Tuesday, January 17 and already there are candidates confirmed for each of the five positions, with one candidate, Shane O’Brien, running in all races.

The most sought after position this year appears to be president, with five candidates so far confirmed to be running. The first name to be appearing on the ballot paper will be that of John McGuirk. The right winger, who is a pro Nestle and Coke campaigner and veteran of the Hist and Phil, has been rumoured for many months to be interested in the job.

Following him will be the name of fourth year economics student Harman Murtagh. Murtagh has a sports background and is a well known figure around college, and it is anticipated he will provide stiff competition for others running for president.

Those who have been following SU politics over the past year will not be surprised to hear that third year BESS student and SU enthusiast, David Quinn, is also running for the coveted posi-

tion. Quinn, the current chair of Students’ Union Council is running against former school friend, John Tracey, a second year theoretical physics student.

The fifth candidate is JS Engineering student, Shane O’Brien. O’Brien, who ran for the position of deputy president last year, has decided to run for all five positions. This move is unprecedented as no candidate has ever attempted to run for all five sabbatical positions in the history of the Union.

Unlike last year, whenthe position of deputy president was sought by four candidates, this year the job has only been found appealing by one other candidate in addition to Shane O’Brien.

Simon Hall, a 2nd year science student and writer for the University Record had been rumourd to be intesteted in the poisition for quite some time.

The offices of welfare and education are not as hotly contested as that of president, with only one candidate, besides from Shane O’Brien, confirmed for each of the positions so far.

In the race for education officer, which has never before gone uncontested, only one other candidate has so far declared. fo

Alex Gilliland is currently convenor for the School of Engineering and System Sciences, However, there are still unconfirmed reports that TNT Editor and CSC Secretary, Christine Bohan, may be running for education officer. Bohan has declined to comment on the possibility of her standing.

Denise Keogh, a fourth year computer engineerng student has announced her intention of running for the position of welfare officer. Keogh is this year’s Equality and Equality of Access Officer for the Students’ Union.

Also rumoured to be contemplating a run for welfare is the Catholic hard liner Peter Henry.

The position of ents officer has four confirmed candidates in the running so far. Ross Mulcahy, president of the Sci-Fi Society, has decided to join Shane O’Brien in the race. It is thought likely that they will be running against two members of the Ents crew - Jane Cassidy, fourth year music, and Barry Murphy, third year pharmacy.

Nominations close on Tuesday, January 31 wih election campaigns for all five positions starting on Monday, February 13.

Clockwise from top left: John McGuirk, Harman Murtagh, Shane O’Brien, John Tracey and David Quinn

Book of Kells will never leave Trinity again

Provost goes to India in search of students Katie Watson Trinity College is to become the first Irish university to establish an office in India, it was announceed last week. The new office in Delhi will open in the summer in order to “try and raise Trinity’s profile” in the country.

The Provost, Dr John Hegarty and other senior Trinity figures are currently on a tour of India along with Education Minister Mary Hanafin and Irish business leaders.

The opening of the new office is part of a drive to recruit more international post graduates to the College, particularly in the area of science and technology.

The Minister for Education, Mary Hanafin addressed fears that increasing numbers of international students would take away spots in the College from Irish students. She stated that drive to recruit international students has nothing to do with taking places away from Irish

Provost John Hegarty: Tour of India students, saying that it is about bringing top ranking Indian students into Ireland.

Trinity receives in the region of €5,000 per year from Irish undergraduates. Non EU students taking the same courses can pay up to €23,000 per year, depending on their area of study.

In a statement released by the College, the Provost explained, “Trinity hopes to build new bridges with modern India as

we have complementary interests in scholarship, education and research.”

According to the College, the Delhi office and the increase in international students will make Trinity a more competitive and more highly regarded university. It will also well as providing Irish students with connections and opportunities to pursue their studies in India.

This year there are 65

Indian students attending Trinity, mainly in post graduate courses. To encourage interest and competition at post graduate level, Trinity has created 65 research PhD studentships which will cover the full tuition costs and also provide a stipend for these students.

Trinity has centuries' long associations with India, and many of its graduates served in India during the colonial period.

There were lecturers in Hindi and Sanskrit in the College from the 1860s.

Among the graduates to make a life in India was Sir George Grierson (1851-1941), civil servant, linguist and folklorist from south Dublin. His work is seen as the foundation stone for Indian linguistics and contributed greatly to the modern understanding of the prehistoric links between Indian and European languages.

Graduates of the university also established an Anglican mission in Chota Nagpur near Calcutta in 1891.

Trinity news 3

The Book of Kells, the most famous and important work in Trinity College’s extensive collection, will never leave Trinity College again. The College has issued a new policy preventing the book from being lent to other institutions for the purposes of exhibition.

The College Librarian Robin Adams told the Irish Times that he didn’t believe the book would “ever travel again.” He was speaking after the College turned down a loan request for the Book of Kells from a Japanese exhibitioner.

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send the book despite recommendations from both the Council of Cultural Institutions and also the then arts minister, Sile de Valera, to refuse the request.

The College has been home to the Book of Kells since Henry Jones, the Bishop of Meath presented it to the college library in 1661. In a change of policy the College Board has decided not to make any of the volumes available to other exhibitors.

The Book of Kells has only traveled abroad three times in the twentieth century, and when Kells Urban District Council put in an application to borrow a volume after the ill-fated trip to Australia, it was turned down.

Student dies in Buttery Jonathan Drennan Tragedy struck in the Buttery last Wednesday when a student collapsed and subsequently died. The female mature student, thought to be in her forties, suffered a heart

attack on the premises to the considerable shock of all present.

An ambulance was called by Buttery staff and the woman was rushed to St James’ Hospital. She died after a short time in hospital and relatives and friends were notified soon after.

The woman was a mature student who had started an arts degree to broaden previous interests in her chosen subject.

Her death has shocked and saddened the whole Trinity community.

SUDOKU HARD

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Dr Adams has described this particular application as a “general request”, and he went on to state that “it is the Board's policy that the manuscript is not loaned to other institutions, so the request was declined.”

There is some suggestion that this alteration in policy has occurred as a result of pigment damage done to one volume of the book whilst in transit to Australia during its last trip abroad in 2000.

On this trip the loaned volume of the famous book was exhibited at the National Gallery in Canberra. The damage has been described by the College as a “change in condition”.

The College decided to

Anna Stein

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Assistant News Editor: Úna Faulkner

Tuesday January 24th, 2006

Trinity News

3

COLLEGENEWS

News in Brief Coke ban costing SU €15,000 a year Trinity’s oldest living fellow dies at 103 The oldest living fellow of Trinity College died last Thursday of natural causes. He was 103 years old.

Prof George Alexander Duncan was the Professor of Political Economy from 1932 to 1967. Duncan became a fellow of the college at 27 and went on to become a professor two years

later.

Prof Duncan acted as an economic advisor to the De Valera government in the thirties and forties.

The Trinity flag was flown at half mastabove the College on Thursday as a mark of respect.

Oscar winning director films at the Hist It was lights, camera, action at the Historical society last Wednesday night as an Oscar winning film director recorded the society’s euthanasia debate for a Canadian documentary.

Guests at the Hist debate included Mr Ludwig Minnelli, founder of Dignitas, who travelled to Ireland from Zurich to give his account of organising assisted suicides and campaigning for euthanasia.

There were also speakers from the US and Britain.

Documentary director John Zaritsky, who won his Academy Award for Just Another Missing Kid, filmed the debate for a documentary on assisted suicide and Dignitas for CTV of Canada and Discovery Times in the United States.

The documentary will premiere in the autumn and is likely to be shown on Channel 4 later in the year. The film will follow the course of Mr Minnelli’s work, which often inspires controversy abroad due to patients joining him from countries where euthanasia is not accepted.

Mr Minelli told the audience at the Graduates’ Memorial Building that 70 per cent of those who contact Dignitas do not follow through with the assisted suicide.

The Philosophical Society provoked the ire of the Hist committee by refusing the film crew access to its balcony to gain an overhead shot of proceedings.

DUST, House 6 shop, Ents and Record all lose money in 2005 Jonathan Drennan The Students’ Union’s ban on selling Coca-Cola products in their shops is costing the organisation €15,000 per year in lost revenue and increased costs. The revelation came to light in the SU’s accounts for 2005, obtained by Trinity News.

In 2004 students voted to ban Coca-Cola products from Students’ Union shops in House 6, the Hamilton and St James’ Hospital because of allegations human rights abuses against the company. €15,000 was written off by the Union at the start of the last financial year in anticipation of lower sales. It is believed that the figure also takes account of costs incurred by the SU in escaping from contracts with Coke over fridge space in the shops.

Overall the Union’s

finances are only marginally improved on last year, with a loss of almost €21,000 for 2005. The figure is down from the deficit of €43,500 incurred in 2004.

The Coke ban seems to have hit the House 6 shop particularly hard and it managed to lose €500 in 2005. This is a huge drop from the profit of €56,458 the previous year. The downturn in fortunes for the premises has been blamed on a lack of interest from the student populace who are opting for various alternatives in the city centre.

DUST has showed signs of improvement but the travel agent is still losing money for the Union. A newly formed partnership with Sayit and increased themed deals are encouraging more students to use the service than ever before. SU President John Mannion says he is confident that a profit making business is a

not far on the horizon.

“DUST is fine and we think we’ll make a profit,” he said.

Students’ Union Finances 2005 Key Figures: Total Deficit

€ 20,937

Travelcard Profit Bookshop Profit Pool Table Profit

40,425 3,796 5,469

House 6 Shop Loss 500 Hamilton Shop Loss 4,795 St James’ Shop Loss 12,478 University Record Loss 4,861 Ents Loss 2,690 Officers’ Expenses 46,462

“I think it can break even at least in the next while, I want to give it a chance, we have the Sayit partnership so this business is not a millstone as far is the SU is concerned.”

In terms of the sabbatical officers’ own salaries and expenses, the budget revealed an increase in on both accounts.

Officers’ expenses have increased to around €9,500 each per year on average.

Mr Mannion blamed the increase in expenses on the officers’ accommodation costs, saying, “of our €49,000 spent, €31,000 goes on our accommodation. We are paying for superior rooms and we also need rooms for training.”

Free rooms on campus are provided to each of the officers for 53 weeks a year.

Sabbatical officers salaries have increased to over

Modular courses in the pipeline Continued from Page 1

Publications alumni return for celebration Contributors to Trinity College publications both past and present gathered last weekend to celebrate over a century of student newspapers and magazines in the College. The two day event was organised by Trinity Publications, the student body responsible for producing Miscellany, Icarus, Pirhana and Trinity News.

Friday evening saw alumni and students gather for Commons dinner, followed by a black tie reception at the Davenport Hotel on Saturday night.

The congregation was addressed by chief critic of the Irish Independent Bruce Arnold,

the journalist who almost ended Charles Haughey’s career in the eighties when it emerged government ministers had ordered his phone calls to be recorded. Mr Arnold spoke fondly of his days as editor of Icarus and TCD Miscellany while a student in the early sixties.

The receptions were attended by a host of stars from the world of journalism, in Ireland and the UK. Organised by Trinity Publications Alumni Officer David Symington, the alumni weekend was the first event of its kind.

Jonathon Drennan, Fox Alexander and Kurt Templer

Some Might Say

€12,000 each per year as a result of national wage agreements.

On a positive note for the SU, revenue from Student Travelcards has surged. Revenue from selling the cards doubled to over €170,000. The JCR at Goldsmith Hall has had an upturn in fortunes after losing money over previous years. A new system of administration has been been put in place with improved advertising and equipment leading to an increase of student customers from the all over campus with particular prominence to the Hamilton buildings.

Ents events made a loss of €2,500 last year, compared to €22,000 in 2004. The Union’s newspaper, The University Record, and other publications had a combined loss of €5,000.

The total amount spent by the Students’ Union last year was €650,730.

The LGBT society have launched a campaign to have the rainbow flag flown over Trinity College for Rainbow Week

Trinity FM: The pirates of House 6 Continued fromPage 1 to be unintentional the station could still be subject to action taken against them by BCI. This could take a variety of forms including fines, confiscation of equipment, denial of further license requests or even a legal suit against the station. However as the station is not a capitated body any legal action would effectively be

against the Central Societies Committee.

The source close to Trinity FM was keen to highlight the fact that the relationship between the BCI and the station remained amicable and that both bodies were working together to resolve the matter. Furthermore it was stressed that procedures are being put in place to prevent the situation arising again. The

chances, they said, of serious action by BCI were probably slim.

This embarrassing mixup occurred at an unfortunate time for the college station with the recent agreement of a new sponsorship partnership with a prominent music retailer. This deal was due to be rolled out for the next broadcast due in Rag Week however possible action by the BCI could jeopardise this agreement.

Trinity FM continued to stream live on their website after the radio transmitter had been turned off as their streaming license was not affected by the mix up. Members who had shows timetabled for Thursday evening and Friday did not loose their slots.

Trinity FM hopes to broadcast again in Rag Week once the current issues with the BCI have been ironed out.

that he was “giving College the opportunity to see if modularisation was something that it might want to consider.”

The Senior Lecturer emphasised that discussions were at a very early stage and said it was “far too early” to talk about any advantages that modularisation could offer.

Prof Kearney’s move mirrors the recent trend towards modularisation in other Irish universities. University College Dublin launched its UCD Horizons programme last year with much fanfare and Dublin College University, University College Cork and Dublin Institute of Technology all make wide use of modular course structures.

A previous attempt to introduce modularisation in Trinity in the mid nineties was abandoned because of opposition from staff and students.

Speaking to class reps last week, Students’ Union Education Officer Donal McCormack said, “Modularisation is something that we’re going to be hearing a lot more about over the next few months.”

Compiled by John Lavelle

“I hope it will be taken care of in some later visit.

Not too long delayed, I hope.”

Noam Chomsky, ‘the Elvis of academia’, speaks of his wish to return to Ireland and visit Trinity College in the future. Prof Chomsky is 77

“Life in College can be as exciting and as enriching as you wish (or have time) to make it.”

The new ‘TCD Life’ website wastes no time rolling out the cheesy clichés

“I intend to transform the way in which legal costs are determined.”

Minister for Justice Michael McDowell uses a visit to the Historical Society to announce major legal reform

The Numbers Game Compiled by John Lavelle

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The percentage of Trinity students who regularly

drink to excess, according to the College Medical Officer, Dr David Thomas

9,292

The average amount of expenses, in euro,

claimed by each of the five Students’ Union officers last year

5

The number of candidates who have already declared

their intention of standing for Trinity Students’ Union presidency so far, possibly because of the above statistic

Trinity disability access is load of rubbish Diego Cortez Piles of recklessly placed rubbish are among many obstacles being placed in the way of disabled students by Trinity College authorities, according to a new campaign by the Students’ Union. The SU Officer for People with Disabilities, Ross Wynne has compiled a series of photographs highlighting the daily impediments facing disabled students in the College.

Mr Wynne has set up a website to display photographs of disability unfriendly features of campus. These range from negligently discarded heaps of rubbish obscuring wheelchair access to open thread stairs which pose a threat to blind students’ safety.

Right: Reckless An assorted pile of dustbins, wheelie bins and signs are carelessly strewn in front of the braille map at the entrance to the Arts Block rendering the building extremely difficult for blind students to navigate Top left: Filth A mountain of filthy waste is shamelessly heaped in front of wheelchair doors outside the Hamilton building Bottom Left: Outrage The stage in the Ed Burke theatre, Trinity’s largest lecture hall, is still a no go zone for wheelchair users

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News Feature Editor: Gearóid O’Rourke

Tuesday January 24th, 2006

Trinity News

NEWS FEATURE

Who wants to play Ball?

Gearóid O’Rourke Birmingham based band Ocean Colour Scene have been confirmed as the headline act for this year’s Trinity Ball. However apart from their Riverboat Song which was a major hit in the nineties only the most die hard of indie music fans seem to know a whole lot about the band.

Trinity News looked into the bands history and found that as well as being purveyors of glamorours indie rock and roll Ocean Colour Scene also seem to have a talent for arguments with labels and contract walk outs. Not a reasuring thought for organisers of the Trinity Ball.

Ocean Colour Scene was formed from the ashes of several little-known Birmingham bands in the late eighties including the Fanatics, Echo Base and the Boys.

Managed by lead guitarist Cradock's former policeman father, Chris, the band recorded their debut single, "Sway", for the Birmingham independent label Phfftt in September 1990. This was a reasonable success and stimulated interest in the band from more mainstreamlabels.

Phonogram Records subsequently recruited Ocean Colour Scene for its Fontana Records stable at a total cost of over £1 million. This was a minor scandal in the music industry at the time and many commentators felt it was too much too soon for the relatively unknown band.

Former Rolling Stones producer Jimmy Miller was drafted in to work on their debut album, however, Phonogram were unimpressed with the Miller recordings and his influence on the band.

Reportedly the guys spent more time trying to emulate the lifestyle of the Rolling Stones than recording tracks.

Phonogram then installed Hugo Nicholson (Primal Scream)

Ocean Colour Scene frontman Simon Fowler in Miller’s stead but he too was subsequently replaced by Tim Palmer, earning the band a reputation for being temperemental and difficult to work with, something that Ents Officer Niall Hughes may regret come May. After the release of the album Simon Fowler, Ocean Colour Scene’s lead singer conceded “It hasn't really got much personality.”

After this album the band

Thomas to extricate themselves from massive debts. This would not be the first label they left under acrimonious circumstances.

What followed were lean years for the band until they began to get support from Brit Pop heavy weights such as Oasis and Paul Weller, who described them as "English 90s R&B". This support and a tour with the aforementioned Oasis helped the band win a new

"You've Got It Bad", "The Day We Caught The Train" and "The Circle'.

However OCS failed to capitalize on this success and their next album was poorly received in the media with one journalist describing it as "a grab-bag of influences with nothing at the centre". Nevertheless, the band's popularity was confirmed when the album briefly topped the UK charts

on release and the singles "Hundred Mile High City", "Travellers Tune" and "Better Day" all reached the Top 10.

Following albums, while well received by core fans, have failed to make a huge commercial impact on the charts and the band has parted ways with MCA on less than friendly terms, this time to set up their own label.

A worry for Trinity Ball organisers could be Ocean Colour Scene’s recent leanings towards folkier, more introspective tunes,and recent sets which have become increasinly accoustic based.

Nevertheless OCS were renowned in the past for rollicking live sets and have played successful dates in Dublin’s Olympia.

Whether they can prove a big enough draw to sell out the Ball is a different matter especially with increased ticket prices. Students increasingly expect big names to headline and organisers would have been expected tosecure an act with at least as much noteriety as Babyshmables frontman Pete Doherty.

Rumours always abound in the lead up to the Ball as to who is going to play and the names bandied about this year may have

“The process dragged on for several months until Ocean Colour Scene walked out on their contract using lawyer Michael Thomas to extricate themselves from massive debts.” lost momentum and Phonogram's excessive investment seemed to have been a step too far. The band were unable to convince the label that their songs were strong enough for a follow-up set and there were rumors of label plans to drop the band from its books.

The process dragged on for several months until Ocean Colour Scene walked out on their contract using lawyer Michael

recording contract with MCA Records.

Their 1996 single, "The Riverboat Song", was heavily pro moted on radio by DJ’s such as Chris Evans and John Peel, and became a UK Top 20 chart hit. The accompanying album, Moseley Shoals, named after the region of Birmingham in which the band formed, followed in April, and spawned UK Top 10 hits with

Rumoured Ball act Bellx1

been more exciting to students than a Brit-Pop group who had their hey-day in the mid nineties. Early in the year a persistent rumor that Bloc Party would grace the main stage at the ball circulated college while there have been strong hints that Kildare favourites Bellx1 may also make an appearance.

The chances of Bellx1 playing seem much more realistic, owing mainly to the fact that Ents Officer Niall Hughes is a close personal friend of the band. Having featured on the cover shots for Bellx1’s latest album himself

Hughes would not confirm on the rumours of their playing.

Bellx1 have sold out an upcoming gig at the RDS a month in advance and may have the local pull that Ocean Colour Scene lack.

Furthermore the band are graduates of Trinity’s Engineering Dept and would have attendedthe Ball as students.

Another prime candidate for an appearance is regular David Kitt who has appeared the last two years running as well as in the Ed Burke theatre in the intervening months.

Bloc Party

Over its life the Trinity Ball has featured some high profile acts that have secured its position as one of Ireland’s premier music events.These acts have included: Supergrass

The Rapture

The Frames

The Divine Comedy

Asian Dub

David Kitt

Foundation

Republic of Loose

JJ72

The Music

The Undertones

Babyshambles

Death in Vegas

Ian Brown

Alabama 3

The Prodigy

Trinity leads Race Against Waste Cathal McCann Spring is on its way and as the seasons turn over, the grounds of Trinity begin to take on a greener hue with the budding of trees and the improvement in the lawns.

Keeping up with this is the annual Green Week campaign which occurs this year from Monday 6th to Friday 10th February.

During this week a series of events will be taking place, raising many environmental issues especially that of recycling.

However, outside of Green Week, all year round there is a constant drive to increase the amount of recycling that occurs in College.

The increase in waste disposal costs combined with legislation means that today homes, companies and organizations must recycle portions of their waste for economic and not only social reasons. Trinity College has been proactive in this regard and one cannot but fail to notice the many special bins and containers around College for segregated waste.

Since 2000, Trinity has increased the amount it recycles from 1% of total waste to well over 33%. Much of this has been driven by cost concerns with the unit cost of disposal of recyclable materials significantly cheaper than that of mixed waste bound for landfill.

Added to this many more items may now be easily recycled than in

the past and there are bins all around College for card, office paper, newspapers, batteries, cans, ink cartridges, timber and for clear, brown and green glass.

Nationally, waste disposal has become a major issue with communities up in arms about incinerators, landfill and bin charges. As a nation we produce an excessive amount of rubbish, the amount of which is increasing annually, and the reality is that someone must pay for it. The damage caused to the environment by the phenomenon of modern packaging will effect generations to come.

However the biggest problem identified by groups involved in the drive to recycle is changing attitudes. It is felt that

more needs to be done to encourage people to purchase products with less packaging, to stop littering and to actively pursue options available for recycling.

others on the grounds staff will carry out quick litter patrols to collect the large amounts of rubbish thrown away daily. This is despite the fact that there are many bins

“Laziness is not an excuse. Therefore, if you are going to recycle, do it right. Wash out your glass jars; remove labels if you can and if it says office paper, that means no card or gloss.”

Every day in Trinity there are two dedicated staff members of the Grounds department who are appointed to continually pick up the litter that is dropped all over campus. They are the unsung heroes of why Trinity is noted as such a clean campus.

In addition to this, many

placed all over the campus and that all of these are regularly emptied.

During the busiest times of the summer, some of these will be emptied two or three times a day.

We will always produce a certain amount of rubbish per person however it is becoming increasingly clear that it is up to us to ensure that we recycle as much of this as possible.

The organizers of this Green Week are asking students to “do your best to ensure you segregate all your recyclable waste and dispose of it in the proper bins.

There is no shortage of these around campus and there are maps and descriptions of them all on the Green Pages website www.tcd.ie/greenpages.”

They point out that many are indeed availing of these bins, but the biggest problem facing the Grounds staff is contamination of what should be segregated waste.

For example if a bin is

marked for newspapers only, by dropping in glossy magazines, problems are created for the Grounds staff and the recycling company further down the process.

In many cases the waste must be resorted adding to costs and wasting time.

One of the more unusual stories of contamination recently was that of several nappies being thrown in a skip specifically marked for recycling timber only, to the great annoyance of the staff charged with sorting it. The organizers of Green Week said, “Laziness is not an excuse.

Therefore, if you are going to recycle, do it right. Wash out your glass jars; remove labels if you can and if it says office paper, that means no card or gloss”.

As the amount Trinity recycles increases, the College Recycling and Environment Committee (CREC), founded by the late Professor Simon Perry, will be examining even more opportunities to improve facilities and bins.

Trial bins for PET plastic bottles have started in the Hamilton, but the biggest problem will remain littering and contamination of the bins.

After every Green Week, recycling generally increases, and littering decreases for a period of six to eight weeks. However after this it slowly falls back to normal levels. This Green Week organisers hope they can retain the momentum and keep it going all year round.

According to them their message for Green Week is simple; “If you live on campus or work in any departments, segregate your waste. If you see someone dropping litter, ask them not to. It is simply not acceptable any more and punishable by fines and when you are fully finished reading this paper, you know what to do with it - Put it in the bin that will ensure it is recycled.”

TCD Green Week 2006 PROGRAMME OF EVENTS Monday 13h15: Launch of Green Week, with special guest Senator David Norris. Featuring the new chemical and equipment exchange initiative, and updates on other recycling and conservation developments in College.

Exam Hall Tuesday 17h00: Discussion Forum, "Energy: Conservation and Sustainability." Speakers will include representatives of the Energy Industry and Politics. Organised in collaboration with the Historical Society.

Wednesday 3h00: Tree Walk (guided tour of special trees at TCD) led

by Dr Paul Dowding, Botany Department.

Starting from the Campanile.

14h00-16h00: Simon Perry Memorial Lecture, "What did the environment ever do for me?" given by Ms Eanna Ní Lamhna (President of An Taisce and regular guest on “Mooney goes Wild on One”), followed by prize-giving for Environmental Initiative Competition.

Debating Chamber, Graduate Memorial Building.

Thursday 10h15 (Invitation only): Tea-party and raffle for Housekeeping Staff to thank them for their crucial role in the recycling effort in College.

Sponsored by IPODEC/ONYX. Dining Hall.

13h00: "Building stones in College: a sparkling façade revealed ". A guided walk around the stone buildings on campus led by Dr. Patrick Wyse Jackson (Geology Department, TCD). Starting outside the Museum Building, New Square.

Friday 13h00: Bird Walk (guided tour of Trinity birdlife) led by Mr Aidan Kelly, Physiology Department. Bring binoculars or field-glasses if possible. Starting from the Campanile.

6

Tuesday January 24, 2006

National News Editor: Anne-Marie Ryan

Trinity News

NATIONAL NEWS News in Brief IT Tallaght students die in fire in France Two Irish students died tragically in a fire in Lorient, France earlier this month. Patricia McDonald (21) from Co. Cavan and Carol Nolan (20) from Co. Dublin both attended the Institute of Technology Tallaght and were spending their Erasmus year in the University of Southern Brittany.

The two girls died of asphyxiation

when a blaze broke out in their house, caused by a burning cigarette. The fire occurred at around 6 a.m. on 6th January. The two girls had arrived home following a night out two hours previously.

The students had returned to France early from their Christmas holidays to begin studying for exams. or not.

Irish students heading en masse to British universities Jenny Gallagher According to figures compiled by the British-based Higher Education Statistics Agency, 14,715 Irish

undergraduate and postgraduate students opted for courses in the UK for the 2003-2004 academic year. The popularity for British universities has been boosted by a huge marketing effort, in which the

Vacancies in USI after officers resign The Union of Students Ireland (USI) recently advertised temporary staff positions within the organisation following the resignation last month of Deputy/Campaigns Officer Ruth Ní Éidhin and Education Officer Daithí Mac Síthigh. The union is recruiting a Campaigns Assistant and a Representation Assistant to co-ordinate campaigns and assist USI officers in the preparation of briefings for various groups respectively. USI President Tony McDonnell stressed that the posi-

tions “are temporary and in response to the situation we find ourselves in”. Neither of the staff will be involved in decision-making or representing the USI on committees. At the time of going to press the positions had yet to be filled. The former Trinity students and TCDSU officers withdrew from their positions in December as a result of their opposition to the proposed reforms of the USI constitution and a poor working relationship with McDonnell.

Meningitis cases at debating championships in UCD An outbreak of meningitis occurred among the students participating in the world student debating championships held recently in UCD. Three debaters contracted viral meningitis while taking part in the competition.

One student was taken to hospital, while two others were seen by a GP. There was no disruption to the event itself as a result of the outbreak. Over 1,000 students

participated in the event held over the Christmas holidays in the Belfield campus, with Hart College of the University of Toronto eventually emerging victorious. UCC was the most successful Irish university, reaching the final 32 teams in the competition. Two Irish students were also finalists, representing universities from the USA and the UK.

Graduates can study medicine next autumn

The Minister for Education and Science Mary Hanafin is set to introduce graduate level entry into medicine shortly and plans to more than double the number of medical places available by 2010.

Cabinet approval of the plan will see 70 new places become available by next autumn, with a further 240 places being created over the next two or three years. There are currently only 305 places available in the five third level institutes which offer medicine courses.

The plan follows an announcement by UCD last August to introduce a graduate entry system to medicine whereby graduates of any discipline undergo an interview and aptitude test to determine their suitability for

the course. The university is due to begin a graduate medicine programme in September 2006, where postgraduate students will complete a four year course that will lead to the same degree as students entering through the traditional leaving certificate undergraduate route.

The high points required by Leaving Certificate students in order to study medicine are not expected to change following an increase in the number of places available however.

This is because of the enormous demand for medicine places which far outstrips supply. This year’s entrants to medicine at TCD required a points score of 590 out of a maximum possible score of 600 points.

IADT students vote to stay with USI Students at the Dún Laoghaire Institute of Art, Design and Technology (IADT) voted recently to remain affiliated to the USI. The narrow result showed 58% voting in favour of remaining with the national student body, while 42% voted against. The total number of votes cast was 281. Message board comments suggest students were illinformed on the issues they were voting for, with one claiming that students were coerced into voting

yes as a result of false claims that student would have to pay full fees if they disaffiliated. A move towards disaffiliation comes after the perceived crisis in the USI following controversy over changes to the constitution and the resignation of the Deputy President and Education Officer of the organisation. Disaffiliation is strongly supported by Jane Horgan-Jones, the Education Officer of the Students’ Union in UCD.

RAG week begins around the country Students around the country are eagerly anticipating the beginning of the RAG week season. The first rag week of 2006 is taking place in Cork this week, with more following throughout February. There has been some confusion in recent weeks over when rag weeks are taking place.

In the University of Limerick, for instance RAG week has been moved to an earlier week in the second semester in order to avoid

clashing with exams and assignment deadlines. In DIT the introduction of semesterisation has also led to confusion regarding when RAG week will take place.

The RAG week in DCU will commence in the week beginning 13th February and its organisers are promising three bar extensions and a RAG trip. NUI Galway will have one of the last RAG weeks beginning on Monday 26th February.

Compiled by Anne-Marie Ryan

Irish students are attracted by the lure of British universities such as Oxford

institutions showcase their courses to potential candidates at the Higher Options exhibition in the RDS each year.

With the obvious obstacle of university fees and general expense of study in the UK, one must ask why Irish students remain undeterred and continue to migrate en masse. It appears that the enormous choice of courses is one of the main advantages of studying in the UK. This extensive range of courses means that there are areas of study available that do not even exist in Irish universities. Study in the UK continues to be a favourable option to those trying for more competitive courses such as veterinary, pharmacy etc. The UCAS selection system is viewed

by most as being fairer in that it takes a more complete picture of the candidate into account.

Further statistics based on research conducted by the Ulster Unionist Party (UUP) policy unit indicate that over 4000 firstyear students leave Northern Ireland every year to attend university with only one third returning after graduation. This migration rate is startling when compared with England and Scotland. While only 5% of English students leave England and 6% of Scottish students leave Scotland to study, a staggering 32% leave Northern Ireland to pursue a higher education.

Dr Crowe, the UUP’s policy and research officer stressed

the “economic significance” of this. He criticised the Department of Education and Learning for taking “a very laissez-faire attitude to student migration”. The UUP are keen to halt this “brain drain” of talent out of the North as it carries a serious negative socio-economic impact. They have responded by proposing a number of measures in order to counteract this trend, including creating more university places and targeting of major businesses to create jobs for quality graduates.

The president of University College Dublin, Hugh Brady, warned that this “brain drain” trend will continue unless Ireland improves its resources in infrastructure and funding.

Rip-off Rail: huge differences in Iarnród Éireann student discounts Anne-Marie Ryan An investigation by Trinity News into discount fares offered by the national transport body CIE to student passengers has shown major differences between the savings offered for different destinations.

For students traveling on Iarnród Éireann services, discounts offered on adult return fares from Dublin to major towns and cities around the country can range from as low as 16% to as high as 52%. Significant differences also occur regarding discounts offered by Bus Éireann, ranging between 18% and 29% on fares to major cities.

The investigation into discrepancies between discount fares comes following an average

increase of 3.8% in fares on services offered by Dublin Bus, DART, Luas, Bus Éireann and Iarnród Éireann which came into effect in early January.

An examination of 18 fares from the major stations in Dublin to destinations around the country show an average saving of 34% offered to students, although savings vary considerably. Clear discrepancies occur where there are significant differences in the discount offered on standard return fares to student passengers The standard return fare from Dublin to Athlone, for instance costs €34.50 with a discounted ticket costing €16.50, representing a saving of 50%. A standard return fare to Sligo is similarly priced, at €35. But the discount-

Table illustrating the huge variance in discounts offered to students by Iarnród Éireann Adult Student Discount return return Cork €59.00 €38.50 35% Galway

€43.50

€25.50

42%

Westport

€43.50

€29.50

32%

Athlone

€34.50

€16.50

52%

Sligo

€35.00

€26.50

24%

Rosslare

€24.50

€20.50

16%

Wexford

€24.50

€19.50

20%

Belfast

€48.00

€35.00

27%

Dundalk

€24.50

€14.50

53%

Ennis

€48.50

€30.50

37%

ed fare is far less generous than that offered to Athlone students however, with Sligo students saving only 24% on an almost identical standard fare.

Iarnród Éireann charge full fare paying passengers €24.50 to travel to either Rosslare, Wexford or Dundalk, yet the discount offered to students on each destination is 16%, 20% and 53% respectively. Standard fares to Belfast and Ennis are also similarly priced, yet students traveling to the south-west save 37% compared with the 27% saved by their northern-bound counterparts. Galway and Westport-bound passengers both pay €43.50 for their tickets, yet in spite of traveling in the same direction Galway students receive a discount of 42% as opposed to the 32% discount received by their Connacht counterparts.

The size of the discount does not appear to bear any relation to how high the standard fare is.

The most expensive adult return tickets are to Cork, Killarney and Tralee and each of these destinations offer the average discount rate of 34%. Discounts appear to be highest on the cheaper destinations, however there are too many exceptions to this claim to view it as a general rule.

Trinity News contacted Iarnród Éireann requesting an explanation for the differences in discounts offered. At the time of going to print however no reply was forthcoming.

Although differences between discounts offered were not as obvious as those offered by Iarnród Éireann, there are nonetheless some major discrepancies

Students faced yet another hike in bus fares this month. Photo: Brenda Meaney between fares offered to students traveling on Bus Éireann services.

Students traveling to Galway receive a paltry discount of 3%, while students heading to Waterford benefit from 26% off the adult return fare.

Even though Cork is one of the most expensive rail destinations for students, it is actually one of the cheapest bus destinations.

The dramatic decrease in fares to Cork may owe a great deal to increased competition on that line, following the introduction of a cheaper Aircoach service between Cork and Dublin.

While Iarnród Éireann offer a discounted fare to Belfastbound students, Bus Éireann do not offer any fare reductions to students traveling to any destination in Northern Ireland.

Steady increases in transport costs continue to effect students commuting within the Dublin area. While the average bus fare has increased by only 5c, students are feeling the cumulative effect of steady price increases which have occurred over the past number of years. One final year physiotherapy student pointed out that throughout

her four years in college, her bus fare has increased every year, rising from €1.10 in 2002 to €1.35 in 2006.

Luas fares have also increased since early Janauary, which will affect the thousands of Trinity students living in Trinity Hall who commute to College from the Milltown station. Most single journey Luas tickets increased by 10c, while a 30 day Luas pass covering two zones increased by €1.

Students using the DART are also affected by the 4% increase in fares.

The actual fare increase sanctioned by Minster for Transport Martin Cullen was only half the increase requested by CIE, who sought a price hike of 7.5%. In order to avail of student discount rates on Luas, DART and Iarnród Éireann services students must purchase a Student Travel Card, at a cost of €12. For students wishing to avail of discounts on Bus Éireann services, student identification will suffice.

Huge investment in third level long overdue Catherine Shanahan The government recently announced an investment package of €1.2bn for higher education in Ireland, including €900m for capital and infrastructure and €300m allocated to a Strategic Innovation Fund.

Investment in capital and infrastructure will be largely directed towards science and technology, while the Strategic Innovation Fun has been set up to encourage universities to engage in reform in order to increase the level of funding made available to them.

Higher education appears to have made it onto the government agenda, with the

Taoiseach Bertie Ahern describing as a “major national priority” the improvement of the performance of Irish universities and institutes of technology and the establishment of a ‘fourth-level’ sector for postgraduate research that will compete against the highest international standards.

‘Fourth level’ has become a buzz word in education circles in recent times. It refers to the creation of a dedicated sector for postgraduate education, particularly at PhD level. It is thought that colleges will co-operate with each other in administrating that sector.

The investment package for fourth level education was par-

ticularly well-received by the umbrella body the Irish Universities Association (IUA), who had outlined their plans for the development of such a sector in a pre-Budget submission.

The funding allocation was also cautiously welcomed by the Union of Students Ireland (USI), although they did express concern that capital projects would be prioritized on the basis of politically driven agenda rather than real need.

The Strategic Innovation Fund is likely to please universities currently engaging in restructuring programmes, such as Trinity, UCD and UCC. UCD President Dr Hugh Brady, whose moves towards

semesterisation have angered many in the Belfield campus, has enthusiastically welcomed the fund.

According to Minister for Education Mary Hanafin the fund will encourage colleges to work more closely together and pursue internal programmes of reorganisation.

For the USI however, the Strategic Innovation Fund remains controversial. Union President Tony O’Donnell said that the fund may be used as a ‘crude implement’ to force the third level sector to engage with the commercial agenda.

“Restructuring is a buzzword currently in vogue, but the fund should be used to develop the

education sector based on access for all and a quality education, not to force the universities to restructure according to a profit driven agenda”, he said.

An intrinsic part of the proposed fourth level system is collaboration between higher education institutes across the country. In his budget speech, Minister for Finance Brian Cowen pointed out that it was not sensible for such a small country to have all its institutes competing against each other in various disciplines and that third level institutes should merge some of their courses in order to draw on collective strengths.

International Review Editor: Doaa Baker

Trinity News

Tuesday January 24th, 2006

7

INTERNATIONAL REVIEW

Democracy in Cell Block Hebron Hugh Harkin A Palestinian friend emailed me last week. He didn’t mention Sharon, didn’t talk about the upcoming elections. Instead, he told me about the night before, when the windows of his family’s home had been smashed in, and his neighbour’s house set on fire. Both acts were done by his other neighbours: Israeli settlers.

My friend, Firas, lives on what must be one of the most frightening streets in the world – Shuhada Street in the city centre, or ‘Old City’, of Hebron, in the south-

ern West Bank. His house, a stone’s throw from the resting place of Abraham, is probably worth millions, but very few people would want to live there. Most of his neighbours are Israeli settlers, who in the late 1960s, following Israel’s conquest of the West Bank and Gaza, took over a derelict building smack bang in the middle of this city of 120,000 Palestinians.

Since then their colony has progressively expanded outwards, as the Hebron settlers have incrementally pushed out their Palestinian neighbours, by such violence and intimidation as Firas’ family continues to suffer.

Palestinians in the Old City – now almost entirely under Israeli control – are completely powerless to stop them. I saw this for myself a year and a half ago. Teenage settlers, boys and girls, walk the streets with M16s (legally!) slung over their shoulders. The market area, once the thriving centre of Hebron’s cultural and economic life, has been all but shut down by the Israeli army.

Walking through the Old City you see abandoned Palestinian homes and shops, which, with a spine-chilling ignorance of history, are daubed by the settlers with Stars of David to signify Jewish

ownership. Many of the shops have been broken into, wrecked and pillaged. One Palestinian home had its front door welded shut by the army. The family, determined to stay put, now come and go via their back window. At one particular stretch of the Old City, along its narrow medieval streets, you find a wire mesh above your head, full of rubbish. Settlers have taken over the upper floors here, and before the Palestinians put up the netting, the rubbish used to be simply thrown down onto the Palestinian street.

The settlers now number over 400, and are protected by over

2000 Israeli soldiers. With the army come the checkpoints, roadblocks, curfews, patrols and dayand-night raids. The constant apprehension. The unwillingness to even chance leaving home.

The harassment is daily in Hebron’s Old City for the Palestinians who stubbornly remain. When Firas told me about his latest troubles, it came five paragraphs in to the email. Five paragraphs in! It was as if such attacks were not really news, hardly stuff to be making a song and dance about. This was simply life, part of the details of one’s day, to be commented on just as I might

tell him of a trip I took to the cinema.

These days, though, the Hebron settlers’ antics are – on the internet at least – news. This is because eight settler families who have been squatting in the Old City have been served with an Israeli court eviction order. As Firas succinctly put it: “The settlers refuse this order and express this refusal by attacking Palestinian houses and shops.” What is unusual about this evacuation, however, is that we are hearing so little about it in our own media; that it is not, as one might expect, being heralded as another magnanimous Israeli “gesture of

One Year On: Goal’s Work Post-Tsunami GOAL’s €10 million project to build 63 schools along Sri Lanka’s Ampara coastline kicked off this month, with a New Years Eve 2006 completion deadline.

One year after the tsunami, GOAL is focussing its energy on a programme that will ensure 30,000 children can continue with their education. In a statement, GOAL’s CEO, John O’Shea said: “This is a massively important initiative as it gives these children an education, and means they now have hope for the future.”

GOAL’s innovative cashfor-work schemes played a useful role in enabling people, including women, who lost their livelihoods, to find temporary employment.

Over the past year, the agency has provided over €45,000 cash for work workers through employment in constructing shelters and rebuilding infrastructure.

“The average days work for these local people included such activities as clearing houses,

drainage and lagoon cleaning, as well as waste removal.”

“The speedy construction of some 1,400 GOAL shelters was in no small part due to the enthusiasm of our cash-for-work initiative, which also saw the repair of secondary roads, paddy fields and irrigation canals - testament to the success of the scheme.”

The tsunami contaminated most of the wells it reached with salt water and debris. To ensure local people had access to clean and safe drinking water, GOAL prioritised cleaning 1740 water wells, installing and maintaining thousands of water tanks and water connections, as well as training the local water board.

To help affected families rebuild their lives, GOAL assisted with cement block-making, and distributing coconut tree seeds for planting, as well as repairing thousands of canoes and boats.

“Many thousands of survivors of the tsunami have been

able to redevelop their fishing livelihoods, and their lives are slowly returning to normality once again after the most traumatic year of their lives.”

The agency’s emergency operations included clearing water sources, building temporary shelters for 1,400 families, distributing mosquito nets and family hygiene kits, school uniforms and fishing nets, as well as repairing hundreds of fishing boats. This intense programme was followed by relief activities which included the distribution of food and essential non food items to those most affected by this disaster, providing assistance to approximately 180,000 tsunami victims in the three districts of Sri Lanka – Ampara on the east coast, and Hambantota and Matara on the south coast.

GOAL believes in keeping its cost base as low as possible, and is proud to have kept administration costs at an average of 5% over a 28 year period.

As a result of the extensive damage to classrooms, classes are held outside

peace”.

But on closer inspection, this is not such a surprise, since it is only a partial evacuation, and the army have confirmed that Hebron is to remain as stifled as before.

And of charade while they remain locked in their cells, which thanks to the settlements and the wall, are getting smaller by the day. The most incredible part of it all is that this is the negotiating position from which the Palestinian election winners will be expected, without international intervention, to parley for justice and for their own state.

8

Tuesday January 24th, 2006

Features Editor: LizJohnson

Trinity News

FEATURES Time Is Running Out for Oil Lovers Liz Johnson tells us all why we should stop worrying about oil prices and start embracing an altogether greener way of thinking

Envy- The Green Eyed Monster

Horoscopes - Brought to you by our resident Trinity psychics Capricorn: 22nd December 20th January Sometimes newspapers like to talk about red cauliflowers.

Sometimes they like to question the validity of caps. I don’t say this to make you feel jealous of those lucky journalists who have such wonderful lives, but just so you’re aware in case you stumble across the articles in between the sudoku section and the Celebrity Big Brother updates. It’s a dangerous and cruel world out there. Just asked the Herald AM people.

Cancer: 23rd June - 23rd July Pluto and Uranus are competing in order to secure the licence for the first tequilla bar in space. You can take this up in four different ways.

1) It’s competition time. You’ve always been a big loser and now’s your chance to prove this true once again. 2) It’s competition time. If you can’t win then you should just leave the planet. 3) Go drink tequilla shots. 4) If you feel envious of Uranus at any stage during the next two weeks, drink more tequilla shots.

Aquarius: 21st January - 19th February Pianos make great hiding places.

This is where all your odd socks have been laying low. Please don’t rat them out - they’re bound to fail the polygraph. Their only hope is to move to Alaska. Pinot noir might taste better in the dark but you’ll spill it on left big toe and never recover. You have been warned. Try using a blanket to cover that big spot on your nose.

All the celebrities are doing it.

Perhaps not in public, but you’ll be a trendsetter. Only chance you’ll get.

Leo: 24th July - 23rd August As the supreme of all star signs, envy is a little feeling that has no impact on your mentality. The only time it impacts on your little handbag driven lives is the vibes those plebs give off. Not that you resent them, the poor little blighters, looking upon your star with hopeful eyes. As perfect, you are never envious of anybody. It might give you wrinkles. Anyway, green is soooo not your colour.

Pisces: 20th February - 20th March You can’t teach an old fish new tricks, but you can find fingers on it if you believe old men with beards. Far better to find girls with long hair and convince them of the virtues of a career in the construction industry. Try to market hard hats that will accommodate their goldilocks tendencies. Remember, miniskirts might make sense on the OC, but the sun shines there.

The arts block hasn’t seen sun since 1963, and even then we suspect it was a drug-induced hallucination.

Aries: 21st March - 20th April There is a place beneath the stairs where certain types of lampshades go to be at one with their inner choir. In the modern world of confusion, this ability to be in touch with their inner programmes is to be celebrated, not envied. These lampshades are, after all, only one step up from muffins and thus are entitled to all statutory rights and other consumer rights etc etc. May you all find you inner chimney and peace. Lets not be jealous people, lets love and (in the words of Pete Burns) screw (I mean the nail variety).

Taurus: 21st April - 21st May Cookies make the world go round.

Even if it is spherical. But don’t be fooled by the neon lights.

Sellotape might make for some short-term repairs but ultimately you will have to face the truth about Elmo. Don’t be ashamed.

Many people prefer muppets to real people. Understandable, really. But you should at least try to talk to creatures with a circulatory system. Try to avoid oranges.

Gemini: 22nd May - 22nd June Since there’s two of you, enjoy twice the jealously. Celebrate by convincing gullible children in your neighbourhood that santa is stuck in your chimney and will only be freed if pelted with nail files. Burn the travel section of the Sunday Times to exorcise all demons lurking under the sink but preserve the Christmas cards at all costs. They will serve you well in the intergalactic wars.

Virgo: 24th August - 23rd September Red wine will not solve all your ills. But It will distract you from them. Watch out for purple teeth and flipflops on people on rainy January days. Marble is your lucky stone but jaffa cakes will always be luckier. Don’t wait for your sign to go into retrograde, start walking backwards yourself and while you’re at it, relinquish all New Year’s resolutions. Jog backwards if it’ll make you feel better, but accept the fact that you’ll sprain your ankle.

Libra: 24th September- 23rd October Straws are a universal experience.

You will never experience it unless you adopt a Jodi Marsh style barnett. Extensions optional.

Try wearing headphones to complete the ensemble. Drop ‘pimpinella’ into at least 3 sentences tomorrow and all your wishes will come through. Except the one about the ladder and the blackcurrant jelly. Let’s face it, that’ll never happen. Just accept.

And paint your nails.

Scorpio: 24th October - 22nd November Wise old Japanese men say: “Don’t let the tree tell you it’s a mackintosh”. In the annals of the psychic secret society (listed under Doyles in the Golden Pages.

Cunning) we have found the translation of this saying to be “Jealousy is a healthy part of life until you let it take over your lasagne”. Go in peace and zen to live healthily with all forms of biodegradable food stuffs.

Sagittarius: 23rd November 21st December Did you ever feel just a little bit envious of the gummy bears and their cute little gummyness.

Apparently a whole generation of boys went through the same experience, so believe us when we quote Michael Jackson “you are not alone”. Now that you’re older, we wanted to open up a few more extra curricular jealousy targets.

So, repeat after us; I must strive to be envious of: yellow M&M peanuts, squirrels with tails measuring 6 inches and anybody with the fortune to have the middle name Geraldo. Consider it your daily morning mantra. Really, there’s no need to thank us.

Much as we all grumble about doing essays and projects around the end of term, occasionally (very occasionally) one comes along which really opens your eyes to an issue you had previously given relatively little thought to. This revelation occurred to me as I sat, pen poised, at my kitchen table in Week 9 of last term. It turns out that renewable energy sources are not just a course topic but also one of today’s biggest environmental issues.

Our society is more or less addicted to oil. Every day, a staggering 84 million barrels of oil are used worldwide. That’s about 30 billion per year. If we continue to guzzle it as we have been doing, our dependency looks set to increase while our supplies diminish even further. Previously, we have been able to rely upon discoveries of more oil fields, but in reality we have been using more oil than we have been finding for over two decades. Oil discoveries are running out, and those that are discovered are of inferior quality. The most promising discovery of recent times, the Kashagan field in the Caspian Sea, has a potential 15 billion barrels worth of oil to be used. This may sound a lot, but would actually only sustain the world for around half a year.

According to the Association of the Study of Peak Oil and Gas, we consume around 30 million barrels of oil for every 5 that are found. This situation surely cannot go on.

As supply is decreasing and demand shows little sign of diminishing, it naturally follows that prices will increase. On Tuesday January 17th the price of a barrel of oil shot up two dollars to $66 per barrel. This price hike was attributed to security fears in Iran and Nigeria, and draws our attention to the problematic fact that most of our remaining oil resources lie in the Middle East area. Coincidentally, this is one of the most politically unstable regions in the world. This combination does not make for a great deal of confidence in the future oil markets. Donald

Rumsfeld in 2002 told the world that the war in Iraq ‘had nothing to do with oil.’ Did you believe him? I certainly didn’t - I doubt he even believed himself. Call me a cynic, but was it a mere twist of fate that the oil fields of Kirkuk were among the first areas to be secured by coalition forces, and that the Ministry of Petroleum was the only Iraqi government building that wasn’t attacked? It is a hazardous thing to be dependant on the Middle East for such an important commodity.

Oil at $60 a barrel actually isn’t that expensive. It’s just that in our heads we feel it should be around $20.

A $60 barrel of oil works out at 18c a pint. That’s certainly a lot cheaper than

“$60 oil works out at 18c a pint. That’s a lot cheaper than a pint of anything else in Dublin!” a pint of anything else in Dublin!

Admittedly though, the price has rocketed in recent years. Even the US Energy Department have drastically changed their story of late. Last year they predicted that in 2025 a barrel of oil would cost $34.35, and now they are officially forecasting $112 oil in 2030.

So it would seem that we had better get used to expensive oil, or get used to the idea of alternative energy sources.

A lot of people have recently been jumping on the renewable energy bandwagon, but I get the feeling that as far as bandwagons go, this may actually be a pretty good one. The combination of high oil prices, environmental concerns, improved technologies and a desire for greater energy security has emerged to create an increasingly good investment environment for alternative energy. Corporations such as General Electric (GE), BP, now marketing itself as ‘Beyond Petroleum’, and even Shell

The Science block fight back with...

Diary of a Science Girl We at Trinity News are all about equal opportunities. So when this plucky Science student decided to speak out against BESS and their kin, we thought hey! Why not!We always thought that science students were pretty illiterate, but here, proving us wrong, is the Science Girl!

I didn’t check my dictionary for this column but I did check my thesaurus. As a science student I need help articulating so that this column is not sparse, bare, meagre or scanty.

We are a different breed (and from the BESS girl’s diary, a different species I hope). We do not experience the depths of shallowness as our peroxided, orangefaced kin in the arts block.

We prefer to not to totter about on the cobblestones in match-stick heels or wake up an hour early to draw on our faces.

I’ll admit that with all our scientific erudition, we have yet to discover the insulatory properties of fake tan. But we are not envious of you in the slightest.

What is there to envy?

Your bomb-shelter of a building?

Wait, we have that too. Your free time to run societies? We’d be intimidated by the amount of people we don’t know. The many ridiculously themed balls you have? It’s less effort to get drunk in a pub and the outcomes just the same. Your essay writing skills? A lab report is more straight forward and the results can be fixed. Your ability to pull jocks? There are twenty three synonyms for prostitute.

In fact, there is a lot about us science students you have to envy. It is actually possible for us to get over 75%. And we very often do. Our research actually makes money for the college,

so we are not so much in danger of leaving with a degree from a nonexistent department. We have benches with separate seats suitable for both right- and left-handers. We have a far higher toilet to student ratio. We get jobs related to our degrees that we can make a lot of money from. We comprehend the futility of student politics.

What is most envious about the science way of life is our close knit community. Our class sizes rarely extend to three digits.

As such we can actually participate in lectures. The lecturers even get to know us and some host parties in their houses. Here, I have hit upon a gem.

Only in the science block can you find such relics.

Old-school lecturers that wear corduroy pants and tweed jackets with leather elbow patches. They wear the same three outfits that their wives lay out for them every morning. They use blackboards and acetates. They have their computer sitting in a box on the floor of their office. They are so untouched by the outside world that they are completely preserved fossils. They are so shaped by their individual research interest that they resemble the cast of Father Ted. You can’t find them anywhere else.

I’d pity BESS girls, but I’m too busy laughing at them.

all have alternative energy departments.

Although many groups lost money by investing in alternative energy after the 1970s oil crises, alternative energy companies are now enjoying an abundance of investment activity, including movement from groups who were previously uninterested.

I think that it is time for us to sit up and take notice. Oil is clearly not going to last forever and there are plenty of alternative options out there ready to be developed further if only society were willing to give them its support.

Solar power, for instance, has become a great deal more commercial, with various policies now making it more viable and less unstable in terms of pricing. One may not equate Ireland with glorious sunshine, but apparently it can even work here! (And if it can work here, then surely it could work anywhere!)

Wind power is perhaps one of the most visible sources of alternative energy. Generally constructed on high ground, these massive turbines can be seen around various parts of Irish landscape. Since the 1970s their size and efficiency has increased eight-fold.

Offshore, they are even more effective as they can be moved to wherever the wind is, and this type of wind power is expected to take off (no pun intended) dramatically in the North Sea in the coming years. In fact, research by Shell has shown that if the most effective wind turbines are large enough and in suitable locations, they could provide electricity at a wholesale price (around 10c per kWh) comparable with nonrenewable energy sources such as oil.

While this is all very well for business, I feel that the alternative energy resource that could make the most difference to the individual is biofuel. Biofuels such as biodiesel are based on ingredients like rapeseed oil, or ethanol-based petrol. Prices for biofuels are coming down as technology and production increases, and cars are

Windmills- the power of the future? now being manufactured to be able to cope with alternative fuels. In a perfect world there would be an alternative to private transport, but there isn’t.

Environmentally conscious as I am, I would still gladly give up my wet wait at the bus stop every morning for the comfort of a private car. As such, a compromise must be reached, and biofuels may be it. They cut carbon emissions by up to 90%, have no great downside and are truly sustainable.

At present, the biofuels sector, along with other alternative energy sources that I mentioned above, is too small and infantile to be a real threat to the conventional oil giants, but with the right combination of government backing, promotion and price reductions,

along with continuing price increases in conventional oil, alternative energy may well present a future option. Oil prices are high and look set to stay that way, with supplies dwindling as the world refuses to wean itself off its addiction. But people’s attitudes are slowly beginning to change. I think that we need to stop burying our heads in the deserts of Saudi Arabia in the hope of finding some kind of phantom oil reservoir. Take a deep breath, accept that oil is not forever, and head in the direction of alternative energy.

Matt meets the Monaguesque Monarch Trinity’s own Matteo Matubara writes about his friendship with Albert, the Prince of Monaco. Our favourite eccentric around campus is known to have correspondance with various members of Royalty and Trinity News is always interested to hear of any new developments.

Matteo writes; “With pleasure I received a very beautiful Christmas card from my royal friend, Prince Albert of Monaco in reply to my card of congratulations on his enthronement in the Principality on 19 November 2005.

The cover of his Christmas card illustrates an enlightened tree at court. Inside the card his best wishes are expressed in golden letters in trilingual – French, Italian and English, and his personal signature in gold.

I would like to explain how I have come into contact with my Monagesque royal friend. His late mother Princess Grace, alias former Hollywood star Grace Kelly, received my letter as she boosted Monaco. As she learned of my interest in her son Prince Albert, then an adolescent, she sent me a photograph of her with him, provided with their autographs.

This autographed photograph

attracted people.

The era of Princess Grace in Monaco ended with her tragic death in a car crash on 13 September 1982.

When Prince Albert came to Dublin as the Honorary President of Ireland’s Red Cross in succession to Princess Grace, I went to meet him at the Berkeley Court hotel on his invitation. I was received by him in his private elegant room on the top floor, where I had the honour to share breakfast with him.

Although his adjutant was present he talked with me in writing in bilingual. I was deeply touched when he told me that his mother spoke of me and showed him my correspondences.

Since then he has sent me a Christmas card every year and various illustrations per annum.

When Prince Albert II became the sovereign of the principality, he surrounded himself with

a new generation of councillors and experts in finance and management. I wish him well in bettering the principality of Monaco.”

A Royal Correspondant

Ranting - its a way of life Kathryn Segesser, Anna Kavanagh and Noirin Hurley bemoan the cobbles of Front Square In a country renowned for its rain, paving the main pedestrian area of college with material which morphs into a death trap every time it rains was not perhaps the brightest idea the collective minds of college ever had.

Their aesthetic qualities are not to be sniffed at, but when they come at the price of broken limbs, necks and shoes (the last especially important) we have to question their worth.

The cobble question first arose in the treacherous period of Freshers’ Week when unsuspecting ankles were sacrificed to the uneven surface of front square. Not to mention numerous suitcases who, whilst making noises to trouble even the deafest of grannies, simultaneously found their bottoms scuffed, chipped and, ultimately, waylaid in the space of 10 minutes.

We have heard tales whispered of suitcase wheels that literally cracked under the pressure. Suddenly the dangers of Front Square were multiplied exponentially. Not only did students have to cope with the greaselike cobbles, they were now catching their feet in escaped underwear, wandering scarves and lost sports

equipment.

Yet there exists a breed of girl in Trinity who somehow remains impervious to the many pitfalls of Front Square. While some of us (current authors very much included) can barely stagger across to the Buttery in the flattest of flat shoes without taking a spec-

“The long and short of it is that there is no beauty without pain and, as there is also no Dublin without rain, we are destined to suffer on forever more” tacular nose dive, a significant proportion of the Trinity girls retain the ability to strut like Dublin’s Next Top Model across the square…..in heels!

What pact can they have signed with the Devil? How many first borns can you sacrifice? Why are they not all on crutches?! There can be nothing more humiliating than raising your face from the cobbles where it has just landed with a resounding thud only to have a stiletto clad foot step daintily over you and continue on its way

without breaking stride. There is no justice in the world!!!

Of course the stilettos would be bearable were it not for the overwhelming propensity of Trinity staffers parking cars and other moving vehicles in Front Square itself. Thus not only do you have to deal with crossing the Front Square but you can’t even take the direct route. Your chances of total annihilation are therefore considerably increased.

Now might also be the time to point out the numerous tourists who are also able to negotiate the death trap. How is it that Americans and other unspecified nationales can not only cross the square in destined-to-cause-you-toslip flip flops, but can do so whilst moving backwards. We think it’s some sort of secret conspiracy to make us feel even more inadequate. Can’t be sure, but it sounds great and helps us when lying flat out in the Square.

The long and short of it is that there is no beauty without pain and, as there is also no Dublin without rain, we are destined to suffer on forever more. Think of us when you’re stepping over us. Its not easy being this undignified.

Tuesday January 24th, 2006

Features Editor: Liz Johnson

9

Trinity News

FEATURES A Book Worm Turns - The Embarrassment of Reading Chick-Lit Anna Kavanagh realises that there is no point in reading books just for the sake of saying you have read them Read any good books lately? It’s a truly horrible question to ask most people, but especially evil if you happen to be speaking to an English student. You quickly run through the range of suitable answers you’ve prepared in advance (when, admittedly, you could have been actually reading books, but let’s be realistic): ‘I’m in the middle of a Rushdie retrospective… still can’t decide between Shame and The Satanic Verses.’ Or, ‘Of course! I’m working my way through the leading lights of magic realism and hope to go onto national literatures of developing nations next month’. Or the ultimate, ‘Actually, I’m rereading Ulysses.’

Rereading, you’ll notice, because let’s face it, who hasn’t read Ulysses at least once already.

Regardless of who asked you the question, be it your tutor, flatmate or just the random crazy bloke on the Dart, something compels you give what seems like an appropriate response. Also known as lying. People who couldn’t possibly know what you’re studying, or even that you’re studying anything, people who were just attempting to make idle conversation without resorting to the weather, become the unwilling recipients of a desperate monologue in which you name every Victorian writer you can remember from the two

lectures you went to.

Something happens to even the sanest Leaving Cert student when he or she fills out the CAO and puts down English as one of the choices.

Somehow this constitutes a life choice, a statement of intent: I am a serious bibliophile and as such will only read books worthy of my staggering intellect. I will not assail my highly refined senses with anything that could be classed as popular fiction. I will certainly not read for such frivolous purposes as “entertainment”.

Every trip into Hodges Figgis becomes a horrible mental battle.

In the red corner, bespectacled angels, often sporting goatees and tweed jackets, desperately try to push you over to the literary fiction classics section. ‘Proust!’ they scream, ‘You’d really like him!’

The blue corner is occupied by angels who look considerably more like you do, especially the version of you that staggers in on a Thursday morning having spent most of Wednesday night drinking something that you remember was green, and after which you don’t remember very much at all.

They’re considerably quieter than the red angels (by now engaged in a heated debate over the contribution Kafka made to international literature) but eventually one of them musters up enough energy to

point languidly at the ‘three-fortwo’ offer on bestsellers and, with a consoling smile, says simply ‘You know what to do’.

Still you resist.

Gathering every ounce of your resolve you march past the new Terry Pratchett book (and finally in paperback – you’ve been waiting ages!) and head towards the modernist drama section at the back.

Desperately trying not to think about the growing pile of ‘classics you must read’ that sit by your bed, undeniably unread, you pick up a Beckett play, some Milton and a couple of dictionaries of literary terms for good measure. ‘It’ll be different this time,’ you tell yourself. ‘I’ve been meaning to read Waiting for Godot for ages.

Everyone knows that!’ Invariably they become the latest strata on the English canon in your room (which, fortunately, is now not just high enough, but wide enough to function as a bedside table).

But what is it that makes so eager to renounce all literature that could be considered even remotely popular? Is anyone at all impressed when we present the (largely fictitious) list of books we read over the summer holidays?

More pertinently, does anyone believe us? Why have we started to look down on popular fiction with such disdain?

Take for example Cecelia Ahern.

Before the publication of her first novel, the story broke of the million-dollar deal under which she sold the movie rights of the book.

She was feted as the new queen of Irish literature; one couldn’t open a magazine or switch on the television without seeing her beaming face. But the mood quickly soured when the book was published and the first reviews came in. It turned out that the fresh new face of Irish letters had had the audacity to write what can only be described as ‘chick-lit’. To be fair to Ms Ahern, whether or not commentators had a

(broadsheet newspapers as opposed to glossy magazines) can do little more than grudgingly admit that ‘for what it is’, it’s pretty good. Or to put it more plainly, trash, but entertaining, diverting trash.

This level of literary snobbery is frankly ridiculous. It’s all very well to sniff disapprovingly in airports as you work your way through Bleak House while the greater part of the departure lounge is engrossed in Circle of Friends.

But Dickens was arguably the Cecelia Ahern of his day. His books were published in serialised form and each instalment was eagerly

“It’s about time we were able to openly admit to reading books because we like them” copy of the book to read (rights to the movie were sold before the book was completed), people should really have guessed that a work called PS. I Love You was unlikely to be a gritty, indepth analysis of the impact of globalisation on rural Ireland.

Significantly, regardless of what the literary critics felt, the book was a phenomenal success.

As were her next two novels. Even if her debut novel was sold simply on the basis of hype and a massive marketing campaign, one must attribute the success of her second and third to her skill as an author and her appeal to a massive section of the literary market. Yet even the best of her ‘serious’ reviews

anticipated. (Yes, this is all I remember of the Senior Fresh course on Victorianism). They were read by a wide spectrum of society (not just the English students – there was no such thing… happy time). Not only that, but the novel itself was looked down upon as decidedly lower class.

Somewhere between Dickens and Cecelia Ahern (the bookends of any serious study of the novel) the novel managed to gain massive cultural kudos and in doing so, set an often indefinable standard by which ‘good literature’ could be measured. Dickens was clearly on one side of this line, Ahern on the other. Those in Dickens’s camp occupied them-

selves by sneering at the intellectual pygmies over the wall. On Ahern’s side, the ‘intellectual pygmies’ got on with reading books they enjoyed, secretly delighting in the fact that those on the other side would resort to making faces over a fence before they’d sit down and actually read any of the books they had stacked beside them.

It appears that the joke is truly on the English student. In their rush to be taken seriously by the literati, they have forgotten why they put English down on the CAO in the first place – because they like reading. Undoubtedly there are people lurking in the English department who’ve discovered the hidden delights in Tennyson, but I seriously suspect that the large majority recall wistfully the summers spent reading the entire Marion Keyes back catalogue while sunbathing with a diligence not seen since the training of the East German Olympic team.

And yet remarkably few will admit to reading Keyes; Keats is name-checked with far greater frequency. While the Science students of the world can read novels simply for relaxation and enjoyment, something inherent in the English student turns reading into a masochistic act, constantly searching for themes, motifs and allusions to other great works of the English canon instead of just sitting back and enjoying the ride. One can envisage a day, in the not too dis-

tant future, when a support group is organised, following a twelve-step programme under which English students will learn to enjoy literature again – and to have a much wider definition of literature.

Perhaps they will start by learning to read Cosmo without feeling a crushing sense of shame. The next step will be to sit brazenly on the second floor of the Ussher with the complete works of Patricia Cornwell in front of them. The programme could culminate with a group of the most advanced participants heading into Hodges Figgis and, with their heads held high, buying a wide selection of the recently published best-sellers.

It goes without saying that ‘proper’ literature can be hugely rewarding and that it is well worth at least trying a more challenging book once in a while. But can we please stop being so po-faced about more popular books? Reading is a form of relaxation, a hobby, a way to escape reality and lose yourself in world where the bus doesn’t splash your new trousers and the cute boy wants to go out with you, not your mate. If we’re obliged to feel guilty any time we pick up a book that promises to deliver us to this world, we’re missing out on one of the best aspects of reading, and the reason many of us grew to love books in the first place. It’s about time we were able to openly admit to reading books because we like them.

Diary of a BESS girl Our girl around the Arts Block tells us how it is...

You may think that us BESS girls envy people very little. We have the looks, the men, the money, and the potential careers... I could go on. But you would be wrong. I envy the people in the southern hemisphere not having to go through the misery of a January in Ireland. I hate January. So, for this week only, this BESS girl is using the first half of her column as a vent for a good old January moan.

Let’s weigh up the pros and cons.

A Passionate Jealousy Kathryn Segesser examines how the fairytale romances we were spun in our youth have impacted the way we treat our relationships today.

Do you remember your first Disney experience? Those movies, the staple of at least this writers’ childhood, introduced children to the magical concept that life is fab when you’re a singing Jamaican crab.

Through the movie Cinderella, I was also introduced to the idea of the perfect “fairytale” romance (complete with small talking rodents). Who didn’t have conversations with their friends that centred around the concept of a prince in shinning armour and a happily ever after that, naturally according to Disney, focused squarely on romance? Now, admittedly, I might be appealing most comprehensively to the female part of the population, but to both males and females I ask, when did the fairytale develop the element of “keeping up with the Joneses”?

When did relationship envy enter into the equation?

Ok, so the idea of Cinderella comparing her relationship with Prince Charming to Sleeping Beauty’s with Prince Philip seems perverse, but for the modern day hero(ine) comparison has become a natural part of any healthy relationship.

In short, the concept that it’ s healthy to obsess has translated itself into the normal boyfriendgirlfriend relationship. Fairytales are no longer for your eyes only.

In our lives it is considered strictly typical to compare different aspects with others. Thus, for example, comparisons of various body parts with magazine pictures (almost always unhelpful for general will to live), or comparisons of job with younger colleague (furthering slide to depression) or, finally, comparisons of life with

that of parents (enough to bring you back from the abyss). This constant awareness of others has, increasingly in the modern world, pervaded the relationship.

Thus, not only are we busy comparing our relationships with the sugar coated Disney versions, but also with those of our friends, neighbours and, in some extremely unhealthy and unreported cases, with our pet animals.

Celia and Bertie, both JF BESS, were in a loving relationship for nearly a year when it fell apart for what Celia describes as his “roving eye” . Steady on now, this isn’t the type of roving eye usually experienced by those who date BESS boys, but a different concept altogether.

As Celia explains, “Bertie had this high blown concept of how a relationship should be. I was his first proper girlfriend and he came to the table with his cards full of images of roses and picnics at twilight. I think his mother had fed him concepts of how a loving couple behave and I simply couldn’t live up the ideal. He’d constantly be comparing how much time we spent together, how well we suited appearance wise and how well our views on all sorts compared”.

In the end Celia found that the relationship had deteriorated due to such an unhealthy desire for an ideal. “I simply couldn’t take it. I had to finish with Bertie, the first love of my life, because of his constant comparisons, not to mention questionable political beliefs”.

Another couple who have been through trials and tribulations because of envy are Bono and Ali. The couple, JS Science and SF Microbiology respectively,

have a slightly happier tale to tell, although, to quote Ali, “we’re not out of the woods yet”.

Bono describes their relationship of three years, as “near perfect” for the first year, until Ali’s housemate started a relationship with a mutual friend.

According to Bono “that was when the cracks began. Ali suddenly started to compare their relationship with ours. At first it was subtle things, like if they met up we’ d have to meet up, or if he brought her a present, I’d have to do the same.

Then, it became much more extreme after about three months. She was actively obsessed with making sure that our relationship was seen as what can only be described as “better” than theirs.

The only way to describe it was jealousy, she thought their relationship had more going for it than ours and thus became obsessed with the differences. “That almost broke us”. Bono however, atune to Ali’s needs sat her down for a heart to heart. “I explained to her that it was impossible for me to be in a relationship where I was meant to feel not up to a standard” . Ali soon came around and claims the couple are now stronger than ever; “I realise now that envy is only destructive. As long as I am happy in my relationship with Bono comparisons are futile” .

A point raised by Bono was the subtlety of forms of comparisons. Although, at their root, manifestations of envy, small and casual comparisons can be so nonchalant that it is often hard to see the damage that they can cause.

Again, this can be traced to a media that constantly tells us to compare ourselves to others. Sex

and the City has something to account for in this phase. By opening up the lives of four friends, so explicitly (in more than one sense) the show invited comparisons. It was so obvious that Charlotte was secretly jealous of Samantha, and that Miranda was envious of basically anyone who wasn’t Miranda.

As the show was also very obviously about relationships, the comparisons naturally extended into that arena.

In Carrie’s envy of Charlottes marriage, Charlotte’s envy of Miranda’s family and Samantha’s envy of, well, well never mind about Samantha, the audience could trace their own dynamic within their circle of friends and remind themselves of the different types of relationships they themselves had, no doubt, envied at different times.

Indeed, relationship envy is not a static thing. Our ideal changes over time and therefore so to do the focuses of our envy. Thus when young, and especially impressionable Freshers, it is not unusual for those in long term “loving” relationships to sigh for singledom. Later, when sick of stumbling from relationship to relationship, we long for the security of long term commitment. Even when our relationship status compares to that of our friends we can’t stop the jealousy. Indeed perhaps that’s when its at its strongest - Desperate Housewives take note!

So, is relationship envy part of some deep set childhood vision, or is it just neurosis born of the competitive society in which we live. Well, who’s to know? It is indeed not peculiar to think that comparing yourself to others is only natural. Its what we’ve been

encouraged to do since the advent of television and mass media (how many housewives in the 1950s and 60s longed to live up to the Doris Day “ideal” )?

In fact, it is probably in that word ‘ideal’ that one can trace the foundation of the jealousies experienced today. Why is it that we need ideals by which to measure our lives and all elements of such? If this is born of Disney and childhood stories, it is continued in the media and mentalities of the adult world.

Man is a funny animal in that he is never happy unless he’s comparing his life with others, those who “have it perfect”. Part of a natural tendency towards self pity maybe, but this acceptance of jealousies have found their way into our relationships.Cynical? Perhaps, perhaps too much so for some, but there is a strong element of truth in the above statement. Ultimately comparisons work both ways. We may feel envious of those whom we perceive to have relationships that are better, more loving, finer, define it how you will.

But, on the other hand, we are also smug in the knowledge that someone in our acquaintance is likely to be at least a small bit jealous of our relationship status, whatever that might be. Is that because we’re all unable to be happy and content? Perhaps, but right now its working for me and considerable others. Put that in your script and smoke it Cinders. * Names have been changed to protect identities.

bed until March. I guarantee that by the end of the month, you will have given in to the supremacy of your duvet over any diet fad.

Now, getting back to my normal commentary. I am so envious of one of my girlfriends right now.

She has the most amazing Karen Millen dress she got in BTs and I so want one but I obviously can’t get one now she has it. The cut will do nothing for her - I bet I’d look far better in it. But I’m, like, over it anyway, because my BESS Pro: There are great sales in Ball dress is going to be jawdropJanuary. Everyone hopes to get pingly amazing this year. I want it their hands on the half price item to be either vintage or custom of the season that they have want- made (Daddy said he would pay). ed since September.

Then we’ll see who’s envious. Not that I don’t love the girl I menCon: Some people manage this. tioned above, I just hate it when But for those of us who are not, other people beat me to good like, a size 6 or a size 18, with clothes. excessively small or large feet, I also get really envious chances are that there will be when people can just, like, party nothing left in all year then your size. And out with “Possessive guys are come even if it is, your a first. credit card will not hot at all. Like, you N a t u r a l l y probably still be were obviously hot clever people so maxed out piss me enough to score a really from Christmas off. I mean shopping that BESS girl in the first why should you won’t be place so what’s your they all sit able to afford outside the problem?” anything anyPav gloating way. And there is and watching no point running to Daddy, everyone else slogging it out in because after the yacht at the Ussher. That’s why the Lecky Christmas, he is so not buying you is my library of choice - all we any more shoes until at least have to look at from the windows February. are the ridiculous American tourists queuing up to look at the Pro: New Year, New You. Take Book of Kells. They provide endcontrol of your life etc etc. less entertainment for BESS girls of all ages who snigger loudly at Con: Maybe this is why so many their ludicrous American dress people seem to be breaking up in sense.

January. Depressing. What ever However, the one time happened to all those Michaelmas when envy (jealousy, whatever) is couples? just not cool is when you see it in a boyfriend. Boys do not suit Pro: January is the season to get green. Just because we have a chat fit, eat right and make resolutions. with the cute guy at the bar doesPerfect for bagging your new n’t mean we’re going to go and man. Trust me, the rest of your jump into bed with him ok? (Well, year group will be starving them- not immediately anyway). No, selves, and you should follow suit. really. Possessive guys are not hot No one wants to be the beached at all. Like, you were obviously whale at Bondi. And what with all hot enough to score a BESS girl in the advertising around, there the first place so what’s your probshould be enough momentum to lem? I know we’re blonde but we keep you going until you get to a know a good thing when we’re size 6. (And then you could take shagging one. advantage of the sales and everyI’ve heard that everyone thing!) But you’ve forgotten. It’s should be happy with what January. they’ve got, but there’s nothing wrong with a little bit of ambition, Major Con: You wake up at 6.30 is there? I mean, if we had all been am, manage to fight the urge for happy being knackers living in hot buttered toast as you swallow inner-city flats, Dalkey, elitist pridown the two chunks of pineapple vate education and the Arts block that your new diet allows you, and royal family that is BESS may you prepare to jog the three miles never have been created. But to college. You open the door and thank God they were. For everyshock horror! It’s minus two one else to envy. degrees and it’s lashing down.

Suddenly the impulse to get fit and healthy is overcome by a powerful inclination to go back to

10

Tuesday January 24, 2006

Film Editors:Rebecca Jackson & Alexander Christie-Miller

Film

Trinity News

Golden Globes? Forget it! he’ll be a former teenage wizard.

There are even fewer movies about them. I mean he could go and star in a movie called ‘December Boys’ about awkward adolescence and get graphically deflowered by a Spaniard twice his age… Way to go Dan.

James Von Simson offers a retrospective of some of the movies of 2005, as he inaugurates TN’s very own awards ceremony...

The Trinity News has always possessed a certain level of grandiose self-importance; so in the film section we feel that we deserve, nay have the right, to start the prizegiving season early with our own selection of awards. Variety has already ranked the TNAAs (pronounced tu-nnnn-aaaaaaaa-ssssss) between the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences Awards (Oscars) and the British Association of Film and Television Awards (BAFTAs) in levels of prestige. What fools. If you want to know the hottest oscar tips, forget the Golden Globes and read on:

suited & booted to play the fascist stormtroopers. Pity for a movie showing a suicide bombing on the London Underground they decided to release it on the 8th July.

The Most Unfortunate Timing Award:

“To play the man in black in the Johnny Cash Biopic ‘I Walk the Line’, Joaquin not only learned to sing and play the guitar, but he also became an alcoholic and beat his girlfriend. What a hero.”

‘V FOR VENDETTA’

It’s now back in post-production.

Millions were spent on the promotion for the Wachowski Brothers’ new sci-fi outing ‘V for Vendetta’.

Considering it was set in a futuristic totalitarian London, the world premier couldn’t have been held anywhere else. The Odeon Leicester Square was booked.

Thousands of extras were hired,

The Daniel Radcliffe Award For Trying Not To Be Harry Potter for the Rest of His Life: DANIEL RADCLIFFE Now you’ve got to feel sorry for Dan. He’s a teenage wizard. And there aren’t many movies about

Gayest Cowboy: HEATH LEDGER Not many people know this, but the Western is the most homoerotic genre in film. Anything that macho must be. Clint Eastwood in ‘Unforgiven’? Gay. Allan Ludd in ‘Shane’? Gay. Garry Cooper in ‘High Noon’? Bi. Any character played by John Wayne? Gay all the way. ‘Course they don’t talk about it. Wasn’t the done thing back then.

Westerns were always about saving the lady. They all played makebelieve. Then Ang Lee made ‘Brokeback Mountain’. A proper gay cowboy movie. You even see them do it. Kind of.

The Cool & Good Looking Award for Being Cool & Good Looking:

An oscar with Edmund Burke’s head BRAD PITT pasted on. If Trinity did give film It’s awards, they might look a bit like this. eleven years teenage wizards. In a few years

been since he actually had to act. ‘Twelve Monkeys’ was the last

‘Zatoichi’- Samurai bloodromp flicked my switch...

Alex Christie-Miller There’s no doubt that E-Bay has revolutionised Christmas. In former years it was with a sense of impending horror that you nervously opened that package from Grandma, inevitably to find some enormous technicolor jumper for which you would not only have to feign a liking, but actually wear for the rest of the day. But now one has the soothing consolation that somewhere on the web a middle-aged bird-watcher has been dreaming of that exact same jumper, and will pay you through the nose to get it.

It was thus with carefree abandon that I ripped happily through my unwrapping this time round, and when I pulled out the DVD ‘Zatoichi’, it was to E-Bay that I gave my first silent thanks.

My family have generally overestimated my appetite for obscure, foreign, art-house films in recent years, and whilst a back-to-back session of Kieslowski’s ‘Three Colours’ trilogy might sound an interesting proposition in principle,

when it comes down to it these films don’t exactly jump off the shelf.

However partly through my flatmate’s recommendation, and in a vain attempt to anaesthetise myself against the impending horror of leaving college, last week ‘Zatoichi’ did indeed make it into my DVD player.

It was a choice I didn’t

ous bloodshed is on the cards.

In spite of his totally innocuous appearance, Zatoichi manages to attract the attention of pretty much every sword-toting bad guy who comes his way.

Severed limbs and surging spouts of CGI-generated gore are the order of the day, as Zatoichi deftly hacks his way toward his inevitable showdown with the talented and

“In spite of his totally innocuous appearance, Zatoichi manages to attract the attention of pretty much every sword-toting bad guy who comes his way. Severed limbs and surging spouts of gore are the order of the day” regret. On one level, the film offers your typical dose of intense, bloody, samurai action. Set in 19th century Japan, ‘Zatoichi’ is the story of a legendary blind swordsman of the same name who disguises his formidable skills behind the façade of a humble itinerant masseuse. When he happens to walk into the middle of a vicious gang war, you know that some seri-

Takeshi Kitano as the blind swordsman in ‘Zatoichi’ along with his samurai adversary Hattori.

ruthless samurai Hattori, hired assassin of the Ginzo gang.

The film is enormously entertaining as a straightforward action movie, but director/writer/ lead actor Kitano ‘Beat’ Takeshi takes it much further than this.

Whilst working within the timeworn genre of the samurai movie, ‘Zatoichi’ nonetheless manages to seem profoundly original through the creation of a uniquely taut atmosphere at once suspenseful and meditative, through which the violence erupts with a vicious intensity and economy of force akin to a controlled explosion.

Takeshi’s experience as an actor is evident not only in his own idiosyncratic, unassuming, and quietly humorous rendering of the legendary Zatoichi (about whom 26 films have already been made in Japan), but also in the performances he elicits from his cast,.

None more so than Tadanobu Asano, who plays the role of Hattori Genosuke- the troubled samurai who has fallen into

the employment of the Ginzo gang in order to support his sick wife.

His icy, impassive presence on screen has an undercurrent of pent up rage which seems to epitomise the sense of impending violence beneath the crisp, hushed atmosphere of the film.

Takeshi is famed as something of a renaissance man in Japan- not only has he been a famous TV entertainer and movie actor since the 1980s, but he has also written a number of novels, essays, poetry, and is a skilled painter and cartoonist.

After his 1997 film ‘Hana-Bi’, which won the Golden Lion award at the Venice Film Festival, Takeshi also achieved fame in the wider world as an arthouse director. The really extraordinary thing about ‘Zatoichi’ is that he seems to have succeeded in bringing together the popular and art-house aspects of his career to create a film that is in many ways a basic a blood-bath as you could wish for, but still has managed to win over the high brow critics- so much so that Takeshi took the ‘Best Director’ award for the film at Venice in 2003.

Even the end of the film is strikingly innovative, and (without giving too much away) ‘Zatoichi’ concludes with a scene that acts at once as a celebration within the movie but also as an acknowledgement and celebration of the artifice and spectacle of cinema.

So go and rent it out and watch it- it’s really good. It might even entice me to go ahead with that Kieslowski marathon- but don’t worry, I won’t write an article about that.

“Telling it like it is...”

Bored of long-winded reviews yammering on about cinematography, script nuances and virtuoso performances? This new column is for you. Every issue we will be showcasing a review from a writer with no cinematic pretensions whatsoever. To hit off we have Adam Ward and Philip Jones, alias Trinity's hockey virtuosos- see? I just can't help the flowery film language- they can though. Read on...

King Kong is more flawed than a Kevin Keegan defence; everything has been placed on action and a total lack of editing and script is apparent. The film begins with the hapless Jack Black; more cheesy than Dennis Rodman’s chat-up lines, attempting to save his failing documentary career. He embarks on a trip to some Island that just so happens to have a huge monkey and a load of weird natives.

Kong falls in love with Watts and leads us on a roller coaster ride through the jungle. This movie, like AC Milan, manages a decent 45 minutes. Complete with some awesome special effects, Samoan-England -esk fights, finished with Adrian Brody stepping up to the plate, becoming the hero to save Watts and inadvertently capturing Kong in the process.

Then the cheese returns, some fantastic awkward long pauses from Black, and the wondering of what the hell Watts is actually doing starts to dawn on you. Then the finale with Kong resting atop the Empire State, Jackson wants us to believe that there is some deep meaningful undercurrent to this movie: there isn’t. “The planes got him…. No- Beauty killed the Beast.’ Cheers Jack, please pass me the bucket.

Peter Jackson- cheesy does it.

semblance of any acting ability for Mr William Bradley Pitt. Since then he’s just been cool and good looking. ‘Oceans Eleven’ was crap, yet successful because it had the highest ratio of normal to cool and good looking since Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr. et al made, well, Oceans Eleven. Now he’s one half of the most cool and good looking couple in the history of mankind. No? Well explain the point of ‘Mr & Mrs Smith’ to me then.

Best Scene of a Sexually Gratuitous Nature: KING KONG Naomi Watts and King Kong consummate their blossoming love aff… No wait; I dreamt that didn’t I? The Eddy Murphy-Didn’t-I-UsedTo-Be-Funny-Once Award: STEVE MARTIN Eddy Murphy’s actually done it.

He’s become so unfunny he’s actually managed to negate ‘Raw’. A monument to comedy has been wiped off everyone’s cerebral cortex. The man’s worth about $90 million and still decided to do ‘Daddy Day Care’. I mean what the hell? Now, most people don’t ever

remember Steve Martin being funny. I certainly didn’t. Then I saw some of his old stand-up stuff.

It’s a shame really. He was actually rather talented.

The Special Recognition Award: JOAQUIN PHOENIX

Christian Bale nearly got to keep this award last year for the supreme effort made to loose five stone (to drop down to eight) on a diet of an apple a day to play the eponymous Machinist. But to play the man in black in the Johnny Cash Biopic ‘I

“The Western is the most homoerotic genre in film.

Anything that macho must be. Clint Eastwood in ‘Unforgiven’? Gay.” Walk the Line’, Joaquin not only learned to sing and play the guitar, but he also became an alcoholic and beat his girlfriend. What a hero.

The Chickenshit Award:

one of those actors who I’d go and see the movie they were in because they were in it. But since ‘Van Wilder’ he’s been a complete wuss.

He’s always the best thing in any of the movies he’s in; ‘Blade Trinity’, ‘Amityville Horror’, the recently released ‘Just Friends’. Have some balls man. You’re a good actor. Try doing a decent movie for once.

The Inspiration Award: ‘MURDERBALL’ Well it wasn’t going to be the pseudo-creationist-crap March of the Penguins; though frankly that should be given a special award for managing to fool millions of fundamentalist Christians into believing that other people might stop laughing at them behind their backs.

Just. Because. YOU. Don’t. Understand. It. Doesn’t.

Mean. God. Did. It... Cretins.

Murderball on the other hand, brought a tear to my eye. God doesn’t have the style to create psychotic wheelchair rugby. Broke your back? Boo-fucking-hoo. Get a Mad Max style wheelchair and you can play the greatest sport in the history of the world. Almost made me want to watch the next Paralympics.

RYAN REYNOLDS Now I like Ryan Reynolds. He’s

Dublin video rentals put to the test Mary Garboden When I have an evening free from social or academic obligations, I like to go see an intellectually stimulating play, followed by dinner at a charming bistro and then to drink champagne cocktails until sunrise.

Then I wake up, groan because it’s 6pm and I’ve fallen asleep on the sofa – again – had

for €3, while everything else ranged from €2.50-€4, presumably depending on age. The guy working there was really friendly, though he only scored 50% on my film knowledge test (cleverly disguised as, “Can you help me? I’m drawing a blank on some film titles...”) When asked what the latest Danny Boyle film was called, he got it right away – ‘Millions’ – with bonus points for being able to locate it in the shop immediately.

that film” game, but did so in a manner that implied he was happy to answer my questions more to show off his knowledge than help a customer. He was smug,, dismissive, and extraordinarily pale, causing the main impression I walked out with to be that Laser should require their staff to participate in some form of social activity on days off, preferably outside in the sunshine.

For variation, my final

Chartbusters- You won’t get ‘Citizen Kane’, but you won’t geek a pallid, patronising geek either. that dream – again – and ask whichever flatmate’s around if she fancies renting a film.

For students with limited budgets, video stores are key sources of hours of entertainment that provide something to think about other than that essay you should be working on. But in Dublin, not all these shops are created equal, and it can be difficult to know which ones to patronise and why. To find out, I visited three rental places near city centre and rated them according to selection, price, and quality of staff.

The first shop I tried out was the Chartbusters across from Saint Patrick’s Cathedral. Apart from having no Classics section – something key to my choice of shop – they had a surprisingly large and diverse selection. A relatively extensive “world cinema” section was next to their vast shelves of new releases, and a “cult” section was a point of interest, consisting of those films some people get a bit funny about and memorise and show signs of potentially stalking the stars of – you know, ‘Moulin Rouge’, ‘Titanic’, ‘The Crow’....

New releases were going for €5.25 per night, world cinema

He fell down on identifying the film directed by Martin Scorsese starring Daniel DayLewis, however, – ‘Gangs of New York’ – not even getting it when I included Leonardo DiCaprio in the credits and said I thought it took place in New York. In my opinion, though, friendliness and enthusiasm to help made up for this shortcoming.

“Pushing through the small door into the living-room sized area, I immediately saw that the selection was pretty dire.”

My next stop was Laser on George’s Street. With the best selection of genres and films I’ve come across in Dublin, I had slated this place to be a winner before I walked in. And with regard to selection, it was. Prices were slightly lower than Chartbusters, with new releases at €5 and most other DVDs for €3.50. The category in which Laser fell down, however, was staff.

The employee I spoke to received top marks in the “name

visit was to a small, local video shop – the kind you go to for the sole reason that it’s only 3 minutes down the road. My experience at Manor Video on Manor Street in Stoneybatter was mixed. Pushing through the small door into the living-room sized area, I immediately saw that the selection was pretty dire.

Had I been in the market for something starring Britney Murphy or Bruce Willis, I would’ve been golden, but without venturing into the porn section, that was about the extent of my options.

The lone employee was happy to chat, but not about films, though with prices between €3.50 and €4, if I fancied seeing ‘Die Hard’ again, this place would be a bit of a saving.

The only conclusion to be drawn is that shop selection depends on the customer’s priorities. If you want a nice chat, don’t go to Laser, but then again, they’re the only one of three who stock ‘Citizen Kane’. And, of course, Manor Video and its equivalents in any neighbourhood are just up the road, and it looks like rain...

12

Music Editor:Steve Clarke

Tuesday January 24th, 2006

Trinity News

MUSIC

For whom the bell tolls Bell X1’s Dave Geraghty on touring, the Meteor Awards, and Keanu Reeves Steve Clarke I don’t often visit bands’ messages boards. Generally they seem to be full of people with way too much time on their hands, posting threads (on average) about twenty times a day and blurring the line between fan and fanatic. However, as I was perusing Bell X1’s website whilst researching this interview I decided to throw caution to the wind, and hesitantly ventured into the dark heart of fandom. My worst fears were confirmed. I found a thread about who would play the band in a theoretical film about Bell X1, but in fairness, some of the casting was inspired- Matt Le Blanc as bassist Dominic Phillips and Elijah Woods’ Frodo Baggins as Damien Rice. The resemblance is there. I asked guitarist/keyboardist Dave Geraghty about the fans’ choice to play him: a two-way tie between Keanu Reeves and Tom Cruise.

“I’m so insulted at the Keanu Reeves,” remarks Geraghty, sounding audibly upset. “If these are meant to be in some way representative I’m so insulted. I’m so hurt. Keanu fucking Reeves. For me his acting potential was summed up in ‘Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey.’” What does he think about Tom Cruise then?

“Well it’s not a whole lot better now but it’s the lesser of two evils.

I could be the one who brings the scientology into the band and find some fourteen year old to marry.

That’d be pretty accurate.”

Indeed. Bell X1 have been doing quite well for themselves recently. Their latest album Flock debuted at No.1 in the Irish Charts upon its release last

October, achieving platinum status

by Christmas. They have been nominated for “Best Irish Band” and “Best Irish Album” at this year’s Meteor Music Awards.

They’ve sold out tours in the both the U.S. and the U.K., and their biggest show yet, in Dublin’s RDS

was just obvious to us. The Keane tour I enjoyed a bit more- we got to hang out with the lads a little more, even though with the success of their album they hardly had two minutes to spare…they were constantly off doing press, interviews, TV stuff; but then the time we did

“At times we felt kinda at odds playing [support for Starsailor], playing our music to their fans... The Keane tour I enjoyed a bit more- we got to hang out with the lads a little more... the time we did get to spend with them, it was really nice.” on the 31st January, has also sold out. They’ve even had a song featured on the O.C., the holy grail of trendy indie music. Will 2006 be the year of Bell X1? “We just hope for more of the same I suppose…for people to continue liking the music and for us, having the bit of success we’ve had, to avoid the Irish begrudgery,” opines Geraghty. “But in another way if you hear that it means you’re doing well I suppose. It’s an indication you’re doing well if people start bitching about you, which seems to be quite an Irish thing.”

The back-biting inherent to the Irish music scene has been pretty well documented, but I wondered; was this was the only price Bell X1 has had to pay for success?

On this line, I asked Geraghty about their supports slots for Keane and Starsailor. “At times we felt kinda at odds playing their gigs, playing our music to their fans-not that people who listen to one type of music can’t listen to another, but y’know it felt quite obvious to us that we were playing music quite different to Starsailor. Maybe it

get to spend with them, it was really nice.”

Not probing for details of the rock and roll excesses of Keane’s tour bus (but later wishing I had), Geraghty moved on to discussing Bell X1’s own gigs and the UK release of Flock in March. “I think I prefer smaller venues doing our shows- I think it’s more important, more beneficial to be seen to be doing your own shows. I don’t think people go out and buy your album on the back of seeing you as support, and even if they do like you there’s always the psychological impact that they’re there to see the main band and not you. Even though you might impress them they kinda want to wait and see if they hear any more about you before they invest in you, so to speak…I think people have been keeping a close eye on us from doing Starsailor and Keane, and even Snow Patrol and Somerset House, those supports in London…I think people will realise that we’re in for the long haul when we release the new album.”

I also enquired whether Dave felt confident about the Meteor Award nominations, which the band is also playing at. “Are U2 in there?” he quips. “I’m kinda secretly positive, but not anymore, because I’m telling people. Its been an interesting few months for Bell X1, y’know with the album going in at No.1 and its actually at number 11 again I’ve just found out. It creeped its way back up the charts.

People are buying the record and people are talking about the band so it’s hard to know really- there’s a lot of great bands in there.”

Perhaps the most bizarre incident in Bell X1’s recent history was their inclusion on the soundtrack to an episode of the O.C. Their song “Eve, The Apple of My Eye” was the background music to the most watched scene in the

purely male perspective on the subject. But it did garner us some attention-it was on the news because Christian groups were up in arms about it and every time it was on the news it had “Eve” playing in the background of the clip.

We’ve been booked to play all the lesbian festivals in the states.”

Before wrapping up the interview I asked Geraghty how he felt about their imminent sold-out date in the RDS. With support from Jose Gonzalez (“he’s becoming known as the guy from the bouncing ball ad”) and also from (the really very promising) Waiting Room, he seems enthused: “I’m really looking forward to it. I can’t wait to be standing on that big stage and looking out on a sea of people- its quite spine tingling.”

Their song “Eve, The Apple of My Eye” was the background music to the most watched scene in the entire series, which, so I’m told, involved two of the female leads, Marissa and Alex, sharing a kiss. With tongues. ..”you couldn’t have dreamed that up really, for our band to be associated with such an interesting controversy.” entire series, which, so I’m told, involved two of the female leads, Marissa and Alex, sharing a kiss.

With tongues. So was this just a happy coincidence, or divine providence? “Well, we didn’t say you can use the song but it has to involve two very pretty girls kissing on the beach…I mean you couldn’t have dreamed that up really, for our band to be associated with such an interesting controversy. Though that might be just a

Postscript: During the course of this interview Dave Geraghty also suggested that the pyramids were not in fact built by the Eyptians, but instead by the Irish. He may have been prompted.

Bell X1 play the RDS on 31st January and the Meteor Awards on the 2nd February. Visit www.bellx1.com for more details.

Fade to Gray: Live at the Point: David Gray with Rodrigo y Gabriela Conor McQuillan Dear reader(s), I begin by pointing out that David, for all his virtues, is not someone I would ordinarily go to see in concert. I might if he invited me. Courtesy of Rodrigo y Gabriela (or their label, rather than them personally), I got a free ticket, so I went along to see them play what turned out to be a disappointingly short set (just under 30 minutes) – even that amazing sequence in which Rodrigo gradually increases the tempo of a riff until, at its climax, his guitar fills The Point with a sound akin to a helicopter engine, was trunkated.

They were well received of course (obviously some of their loyal following had been unable to get tickets to the university gigs), but the bulk of the crowd was just waiting for David, enjoying the comfort of their seats after a long day at work and all that standing out in the foyer.

In fairness, though, the age difference in fan bases present is probably easily explained by the relative obscurity of Rodrigo y Gabriela in the eyes of the general public. That won’t last much longer, though.

And so to David himself.

He was greeted with fairly enthusiastic applause from the people who had paid for their tickets, as he immediately struck into openers ‘Alibi’ followed by hit ‘Sail Away’.

During which I noticed that the drummer was wearing one of the most intriguing shirts I’ve ever seen – something akin to how a 4 year old might depict the Apocalypse.

‘Please Forgive Me’ – a good song to begin with – was further endeared to the crowd with minor lyrical alterations ‘…moving out across the Irish Sea…deep into that Celtic mystery’. The song also contained what was (I

“The crowd suddenly seemed a bit numbed too – the problem here with trying to translate well-written, thoughtful love songs to a live setting, where people want something to dance to” Bell X1: Living life in the fast lane.

The Strokes: First Impressions of Earth Cian Traynor First impressions of Strokes albums can easily be deceptive, their efforts in such a well-worn

genre understandably requiring that extra little bit of time to impress enough to draw you in. But three albums into their career, and having never quite lived up to the explosive hype they initially found themselves gathering, The Strokes may now be asking more of the listener's patience than ever.

There are no prizes for recognising the sounds fuelling the opening two tracks, the band using the signatures of Television to open proceedings on "You Only Live Once" followed by the catchy single "Juicebox," which, while

sounding every bit the tribute to The Cramps, also features the best laid burst of energy on the album.

To be sure, no surprises are going to be pulled, but as the Verlaine-like licks continue, the tracks manage to be held together reasonably well...until it becomes apparent that Julian Casablancas' lethargic vocals are intent on sapping any vitality out of the album.

From "On the Other Side" on, a trend begins to emerge: the singer's sluggish, half-hearted croon smacks of a lack of effort and leaves you with the impression that

many of these songs aren't worth getting out of bed for.

On the upside, the dynamic flutter of "Vision of Division," the pop precision of "Ize of the World," and the unassuming "Fear of Sleep" ensure the Strokes' faithful have a reassuring nest of quality to nuzzle, each contending with "Juicebox" to be perceived as the album's best.

Though the production and overall sound can't be faulted, “First Impressions...” is a fair if not altogether unremarkable release that's going over ground that has

nowhere left to take us, and as a consequence, this is drained of all originality.

thought) the funniest…no, the only funny moment of the concert...after the line ‘I got half a mind to scream out loud’, many of those assembled screamed in unison. After the following line, ‘I got half a mind to die’, there was a tangible quietening – there was a missed opportunity here. The screens should have displayed a sequence of instructions along the lines of ‘sing…sing…sing…scream…sing …fake death/collapse…sing’ – just to lighten to the mood, albeit in a quite contrary way.

Well, I thought it was a funny idea - the potential sight of 2000 people staggering from imaginary gunshots or feigning heart attacks.

Moving on...‘My Oh

My’ continued in the same vein, with Gray then donning his electric guitar and launching into new song ‘The One I Love’ with gusto. It was at this point that I noticed the woman in front of me rubbing the neck of her husband/boyfriend/brother-in-law.

How cute.

The occasional line between songs gave the crowd something extra to cheer about – even if “This city’s changed a lot since I first came” didn’t quite match the insight or poetry of lyrics such as ‘Take this silver lining…and put it in your pretty head’.

And now I have an admission to make…just after the

“I have an admission to make…just after the next song ‘Don’t Ever Lie, Don’t Steal’, I…eh, fell asleep” next song ‘Don’t Ever Lie, Don’t Steal’, I…eh, fell asleep. Yes, you read it right. Glance across if you must – it’s still printed there. I was obviously tired, but, let’s be honest – I wouldn’t have fallen asleep during a remotely exciting concert.

But David, if you’re reading this, don’t worry – I fully appreciate that I must have slept through the most exciting 20 minutes. Just my luck. I woke up with a pen stuck to my face, and no sensation in my legs. The crowd suddenly seemed a bit numbed too – the problem here lies not with David and his band’s considerable talents as performers, but with trying to translate well-written, thoughtful love songs to a live setting, where people want something to dance to. Unless of course they’re perfectly happy to sit, appreciate and clap during each chorus and song ending.

And then the band left – hopefully not insulted by any snoring. But what of ‘Babylon’? The crowd finally found its voice and coaxed David et al back on stage.

As he sang the words ‘…what we gonna do, when the money runs out?’, I couldn’t help but wonder how many of the crowd had been prompted into thinking about pension reforms.

As the show drew to a close, the chorus line “Tell me something I don’t already know” was repeated so often it became self-fulfilling in a way. Finally the first notes of ‘Babylon’ rang out, and everyone seemed happier for it. Clapping and smiling and whooping and whatnot. Certainly one of the best free gigs I’ve ever been to – having said that, I’d be plain embarrassed to name some of the others.

Talking to his quietly adoring fans after ‘Please Forgive Me’, David said something interesting – “…if I had another fifty like that, man, I could rule the world. Where the fuck did that come from?!”. I wouldn’t quite go that far, but I wouldn’t stop him trying. Those fifty songs mightn’t crush China, but they’d be well worth hearing.

Music Editor:Steve Clarke

Tuesday January 24th, 2006

Trinity News

13

MUSIC

2005: The Year in Gigs Mark Rodgers casts a critical eye on the year that was When the BBC ever gets around to following up their ‘I Love’ series of programmes with one dedicated to the this decade, what will they come with for ‘I Love 2005’?. Will some non entity of a celebrity inform us that Crazy Frog was really quite an ingenious post-modern take on the idea that people will only make music in the future for the purposes of letting you know when you have a phone call, or that 2005 was the year that poverty was finally made history?

In any case, any such look back on this particular orbit of the earth around the sun will probably fail to look at the year in concerts. So, in the interests of those

fresh having received (possibly on his backside, although I’m not quite sure where these things actually go) the Conor Oberst ‘stamp of approval’ for an earnest and intimate style of music that gosh darnit, just hits you where it hurts every time. However, the feverish excitement that greeted his every inhalation of oxygen didn’t tally with the actual quality of his performance. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many people want to their throw their underwear at a singer before, and that was just the males in the audience. Boom Boom! The whole thing was distinctly average, he had a nice voice, had some decent songs, but there was nothing

“If I had to choose my most memorable gig of the year it would be Mike Watt...my entire moral universe, centred around the twin solar systems of the irony of Belle and Sebastian and sarcasm of Alan Partridge was on the point of collapsing within itself as my shallowness of my existence up until then suddenly dawned upon me...” who come after us and may think to themselves: “I wonder, was there any good concerts in 2005?”, I give you, a select, but indispensable guide to the last twelve months of musical entertainment. All will be included: the good, the bad, and the ‘what the hell was I thinking that night that made me think I had better things to do when X was playing?!’

Willy Mason arrived at the Sugar Club some time around the start of January or February

particularly memorable either.

Perhaps, I’m being a bit harsh, but I didn’t really see the fuss. There are millions of these singer songwriters about, and there wasn’t anything here that really set him apart.

Everybody’s favourite Brighton six-piece, the Go! Team, landed in April. A sizeable number of people crammed into the Village to see if their blend of Sonic Youth style guitars and sample-heavy hip hop could be translated into a live

Mark Rodgers, mid existential crisis

setting. Sadly, despite the general greatness of the record, and their limitless energy, the Go! Team were a bit underwhelming; you just couldn’t hear those recorder solos over the guitars. What’s that all about? A special shout out must go to support act DJ Scotch Egg though, who managed a standing ovation for a set that consisted of playing a game boy, throwing scotch eggs at the crowd and roaring at everyone to fuck off. Genius.

And so to May, if I had to choose my most memorable gig of the year it would be Mike Watt, cofounder of the Minutemen at the Village, not for musical quality but for a Damascene conversion that I very nearly had. At one point in the proceedings, Watt turned to the crowd to tell us that we’d just have to be patient and bear with him through some of the more admittedly weird stuff he was playing, because he’d just come back from a very dark place recently, and he’d realised that in life, you have to follow your dreams; for him, music was therapy. His songs helped him realise who he was, and that basically, you should try and live a fulfilling and meaningful life by being sincere about everything you do. At this point, my entire moral universe, centred around the twin solar systems of the irony of Belle and Sebastian and sarcasm of Alan Partridge was on the point of collapsing within itself as my shallowness of my existence up until then suddenly dawned upon me.

Fortunately, his next song was a bass heavy dirge, with whispering nonsensical vocals about stuffing a turkey with two balls that lasted five minutes too long. Thankfully it means I still go to sleep with Stephen Malkmus on my headphones: “I'm here to sing a song, a song about privilege, the spikes you put on your feet when you were crawling and dancing, to the top of the human shitpile.

Shitpile!”

I did actually enjoy some gigs in 2005. LCD Soundsystem were brilliant, not only for the fact that the energy and diversity of the album became all the more apparent on stage, but for the general idea that a fat beardy man, in denim jeans and a plain white t shirt who shouted into a microphone was, for

Album Reviews WOLF PARADE APOLOGIES TO THE QUEEN MARY Niall Kelly To be cool among the indie-rock collective in 2005, one only needed to utter three simple words: THE. ARCADE. FIRE. Setting the musical world alight with their energetic and engaging debut album, Funeral, Messrs Butler and company effortlessly altered the course of the musical bandwagon, bundling it with ease from the well-trodden path of skinny ties and post-punk indie imitators.

Earmarking Montreal as the musical scene du jour, The Arcade Fire’s success sent industry figureheads scouring around poorly-lit basements and dingy clubs in search of a similar sound and similar success. Among those hoisted from obscurity and tipped for success in 2006 were Brooklyn newbies Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, as well as industry stalwarts Broken Social Scene.

But, following the release of their fabulous debut album Apologies …, it may in fact be Montreal quartet Wolf Parade, quietly gnashing their teeth in the background, that steal the hearts and minds of music lovers this year.

Formed in 2003 as a collaborative effort between co-vocalists Dan Boeckner and Spencer Krug (each sings lead vocals on

roughly half of the album’s tracks), Wolf Parade have excited and delighted with a thrilling fusion of guitars, drums, keyboards and electronics. Weaving these elements into a musical landscape that is in equal parts enchanting and haunting, Apologies …is a masterclass in how to effectively blend disparate musical layers, with no one ingredient dominating to the detriment of the overall sound. Yet, at the same time, this wonderfully unified musical background is littered with catchy guitar hooks, melancholy keyboard intros and driving drum beats, ensuring that the powerful individuality of the various instruments is never forgotten.

Though intricate and complex, this coherently diverse sound provides Krug and Boeckner with an excellent platform from which they can captivate listeners.

The two work excellently together, alternating with ease, and often combining to create some wonderfully off-kilter harmonies. Though their voices are sometimes difficult to comprehend, once understood, they reveal tales of childhood dreams, disillusionment with the modern world, lost love, and a strange obsession with ghosts.

Lyrically, the band’s disenchantment dominates - on one of the album’s standout tracks, ‘Dear Sons And Daughters Of Hungry Ghosts’, Krug moans that “we'll say it's in God's hands / but God doesn't always have the best goddamn plans, does he?”. However, the overall tone of the album is prevented from becoming overly depressive, as Wolf Parade cleverly

disguise the cynical expression, allowing it to soar above deceptively upbeat rhythms.

When it comes to Wolf Parade, it is difficult to find a review of the band that doesn’t make reference to the band’s network of illustrious friends. Modest Mouse frontman Isaac Brock, who effectively discovered the band in 2003, is credited as producer on Apologies …. The Arcade Fire have made no effort to disguise their soft-spot for the band, offering support slots on numerous occasions during their propulsion to stardom. However, once one steps back from the deluge of name-dropping and allows the intricate musical brilliance of Apologies ... to reveal itself, it is easy to appreciate Wolf Parade as one of the most exciting ‘new’ bands of the moment. This year’s Arcade Fire? Don’t be surprised!

Apologies To The Queen Mary is out now on Sub Pop Records

Sons And Daughters: Their music inspires violence. about an hour so, a musical god.

Sometimes, in my quieter moments, I like to think that if you looked really closely at James Murphy on that magical sunny day at Oxegen, you could see that his white top was actually stained with some type of spaghetti bolognese sauce, thereby confirming that he too is just as fallible and human as the rest of us; and that anyone can become a pop star.

Another high point was Sons and Daughters at the Village.

Signed to Domino on the back of a recommendation from Franz Ferdinand, they have been eclipsed somewhat by the inexplicable rise of another signing to that label, Arctic Monkeys. Still, Sons and Daughters have an independence about them that makes you feel that they will always be about, as other trends come and go. It is live where Sons and Daughters really come

Deerhoof: The Runners Four Cian Traynor

into their own, their ferocity on stage matching the intensity of their songs. So fierce are they live in fact, that during a particular frenetic rendition of a song about corpses in a bath tub, one fan seemed to be so overcome by the sentiments in the song that he decided to act out his own little ‘murder ballad’ on me, by grabbing

laptop, then you are going to be quite restricted in how you recreate that live. Still, people used to level the criticism at DJ’s that all they did was play records, but the support act for Kieran Hebden’s gig at the Temple Bar Music Centre, Kid Koala, (possibly the most appropriately named act ever, because a) he looks like a child and b) also looks

“Stephen Malkmus, Malko, S-Man, if you’re reading, I can only apologise... I have nothing to say that could ever justify not going to your gig” me by the neck and attempting to throttle me. At least this is the only explanation I have been able to come up with so far.

One act though who isn’t really suited to the live arena is Four Tet. Admittedly, if you do create the bulk of your music from a

like a koala) showed that even this can be approached in a genuinely creative and inventive manner.

Because Four Tet is great, I would like to tell you that he came on stage accompanied by a 70 piece orchestra who carefully recreated every whistle and wind chime he

But what is that voice? A daydreaming Asian teenage girl plucked at random and placed in front of an explosive rock band? Or an overweight madman with a falsetto that's gone past the point of no return? The real answer is bassist Satomi Matsuzaki and her twisted English, daintily delivering themes of espionage and magic in what reads like Beat poetry:

Ryan Adams: 29 Cian Traynor

Revive your fire. Now, now, now.

We have wolf minds.

Knock your door of the minds hard to wake them up.

Bark to the moon loud. Shout, shout, shout.

Make a wish come true.

Glare eternity.

I had to give this album quite a few playbacks just to see if my gut reaction wasn't simply over the top.

Quite simply, this is a brilliant, dynamic, and insane listen. Now, one could argue about what band came first and who influenced who 'til the cows come home, but it would be far more satisfying to try and determine just what the hell this is.

Like a crazed, lollypoptwirling devil with eyes like solar eclipses and arms like slot machine handles, “The Runners Four” has what it takes to be the 21st century equivalent to "Safe as Milk," given half the chance. In terms of composition alone, Deerhoof's tenth album (which is twice as long as any of their previous efforts) has to be admired as a work of invigorating vibrancy. Giving you the sense that these tracks could work extraordinarily well even as instrumentals, Chris Cohen and John Dieterich's guitars hop scotch together to take you somewhere utterly fantastic.

Forming a seemingly telepathic interplay with each other, the end product makes for a dazzling combination that is strangely (and perhaps inexplicably) compelling; few releases this

Like a crazed, lollypop-twirling devil with eyes like solar eclipses and arms like slot machine handles, “The Runners Four” has what it takes to be the 21st century equivalent to "Safe as Milk." year have excited me in the way “The Runners Four” does. Not only will it be guaranteed to bring me back for repeated visits, but I look forward to the process of growing into it. To know that it was recorded live only helps to astound me further.

While releasing three new albums in a year is quite a bold move, Ryan Adams' track record in recent years should mean his prolific output levels makes for a string of welcome appearances in the release dates listings. Returning without backing band the Cardinals in tow this time, Adams changes his sound once again, parading a different side to his diversity by going for a largely more stripped down, piano-based setup that flirts with melancholia.

Starting matters off misleadingly, however, is the rhythm'n'blues rocker “29,” and although its melody line is blatantly lifted from the Grateful Dead's "Truckin'," Adams packs it with verve, making it enough of an effective outing to let him away with any accusations of pilfering.

However, on the eight-minute-long "Strawberry Wine," it seems that the borrowing of elements isn't going to be isolated to the title

has recorded, but that would be lying; it was just him. And a laptop.

One other point to note is that his eyes were freakishly scary.

So that was 2005, or a very small portion of it. However, there were others that I just didn’t go to, out of sheer laziness. It is too people that I missed that I now turn to. Stephen Malkmus, Malko, SMan, if you’re reading, I can only apologise. I know you didn’t come to Ireland this time but I was in France at the same time as you were in your tour, and yet I didn’t go. I have nothing to say that could ever justify not going. Also, Roots Manuva, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to rationally explain what the hell I was at when you came to Dublin; please come back. I promise I will be there.

track, as here and elsewhere there are a number of vocal bends adopted directly from Ray Davies (you may also recognize the guitar slide on "The Sadness").

Regardless, while perhaps being a little overdrawn, its storytelling narrative begins a nice run of refined yet sparse quality, brandishing highlights in the form of the starkly beautiful "Night Birds" - which has all the flavor of a modern jazz singer's composition - and the laid back country breeze of "Carolina Rain."

Though clocking up to a total of 49 minutes, the nine tracks that make up “29” feels decidedly shorter than that, and chiefly responsible for such an impression is the choice to settle for a lightlyplayed piano and an occasional touch of strings on the majority of arrangements. Even the over-thetop "The Sadness" (which sounds like it considers itself to be some kind of Tex-Mex epic) attempts in vain to break up the run of sameness, but just sounds silly and out of place; and so by the time we reach "Voices," it's become a little too late to distinguish what's on offer from the album's earlier incarnations.

Ultimately, Adams' third effort of the year may be one just for the hardcore collective, but if anything, by undertaking outfits that others would automatically sound pretentious in other singers’hands, 29 underlines the notion that he is cut from a very traditional cloth of American songwriters one that seems ever closer to extinction.

14

Tuesday January 24th, 2006

Food & Drink Editor: Rosie Gogan-Keogh

Trinity News

FOOD & DRINK The Dublin Food Experience

Conspicuous Consumption …With Claudia Braün

Rosie Gogan-Keogh visits La Taverna Di Bacco La Taverna Di Bacco, 26 Lower Ormond Quay, Dublin 1.

Ph. (01) 8741000 Just before Christmas I moved out of home for the first time. And in with my boyfriend. The latter fact I omitted to tell my mother – afraid of her reaction and disapproval and the fear that she might try and stop me. When I eventually told her several weeks later, long enough for me to think I was now out of her grasp. How could she be angry, I was the happiest she had ever seen me, the only thing she was upset about was the fact I had lied.

This was one of those cringe worthy moments in life where you can pinpoint the moment you left behind a certain moment of childhood and made me determined to never lie again.

Mr. Mick Wallace has a lot to learn about lying. He convinced himself that he is the utmost Italian connoisseur and has made the ultimate statement of this on Suffolk Quay.The big-time builder, part of the group of Celtic Tiger successes, has a now-famed, long time love of Italy. The entire of Dublin now knows this due to his infamous street known as ‘that new one off the quays’ or in some circles ‘Wallace Way’.

For those of you who have not yet been inspired by intrigue to see where the other side of the Millennium Bridge leads to, it is the Northside’s latest bid to rival Temple bar, since the failed attempt of Smithfield. But Smithfield’s problem was that no matter how many Luas lines went by it would never be central. For this reason Wallace’s tactful gap between two buildings has been a great success.

Wallace obviously doesn’t need the money that this street must earn; this is simply his own playground where he gets to play out his personal fantasies. He can usually be seen hanging out in the wine-bar with his other Caterpillar clad builder mates.

There are several restau-

rants, a food shop and delicatessen and the much-loved Enoteca Della Langhe wine-bar. This is certainly not the kind of place one might come searching for a cheap pint. In fact there isn’t a beer in sight. And a good thing too as the enormous selection of Italian-sourced wine is the one thing Wallace has managed to get right. That, and the plates of

the most important hurdle. Food has failed him, or perhaps he has failed food.

Yet he tries so hard. The impassioned speech at the beginning of the menu, really does build one up for amazing things to come.

We are told that this restaurant exists because of a genuine love of the wonders of real traditional

I have never sent a dish back. But in my new ‘honesty is the only policy’ steadfast determination, I decided I would not endure the tasteless sticky balls of dough, politely referred to as Gnocchi” Crostini and Antipasti that you can order along with it. But, then again, how hard is it to get expertly sourced wine and slices of bread, meat and cheese wrong.

Until recently I had only been to Enoteca and perused around the Deli. For this reason I held Wallace’s Way with a modicum of respect. It was something different, offbeat classy without being pretentious. However , since my visit to La Taverna I have realised that Wallace has fallen at

Italian food.

At long last, we have an Italian restaurant, which is by no means a slap-dash Spaghetti Bolognese and Margarita pizza affair, I thought. The menu is impressive; well it appears so, with as little English as possible. It changes every three weeks but generally sticks to a selection of one pasta dish, one meat, one fish etc. You get the picture.

My starter of Bruschetta was basic -can’t possibly screw

up- grilled bread, tomato, basil and olive oil. Simple but tasty in its own right. The real let down lay in the main courses. I have never sent a dish back. But in my new ‘honesty is the only policy’ steadfast determination, I decided I would not endure the tasteless sticky balls of dough, politely referred to as Gnocchi. Slightly sickened by this experience, I could not face any more food, so stuck to the wine instead. The other mains didn’t fare much better with incredibly dry venison and a pasta dish with a name three Italian sentences long, which tasted more like gone off Knor Pasta Funghe.

It is important to remember that La Taverna is at the lower end of the scale in the Wallace price range. So slightly more in line with a student budget.

With starters ranging from E6 to E9 and main courses from E10 to E15. But this is no excuse. It only gives us the vague hope that Wallace has achieved his dream of authentic Italian food in one of his more upmarket restaurants.

It may come as a surprise to you, dear readers, to learn that nighttime can be a lonely time in Women’s Prison. Of course, a person such as I may appear to be elevated far above the grasp of an emotion so pedestrain as loneliness, yet let it not be forgotten that though I am a woman of exception, I am still a woman – and my hard bunk (in the cell I share with an arsonist known popularly as Big Sharon) can indeed be a lonely place. Oftentimes, I clasp my pillow tightly to my firm bosom and think back upon the pleasures of romance…

All successful courtships begin with a successful first meal.

For example, my most recent husband, the country’s foremost bookmaker Mr. Browne, treated me to a delicious gorilla paté at our first dinner engagement – one which he had had specially flown in for the occasion. This I took to be a good sign, and immediately set about devising the menu for our wedding reception. On the other hand, young ladies would be well advised to vacate a dinner engagement with maximum haste should their would-be beau show the sheer vulgarity to order from the menu, suggest ‘splitting the bill’ or, for that matter, suggest a dinner date in an establishment in which he is not at the very least the primary shareholder. If a man cannot offer culinary luxury, my female readers may rest assured that this paucity will continue into other areas.

Of course, once one

SEARCH FOR THE HOLY GRAIL

acquires a suitable mate, the culinary arts may – from time to time – need to be called upon to stoke the flames of Eros. This is nothing of which to be ashamed. Allow me to elucidate. Following an extended business trip to Thailand, Mr. Browne returned suffering from such extreme – and mysterious – exhaustion that the pleasures of the flesh seemed utterly beyond him.

Summoning all my digity, I arranged a summit with Chef to which I arrived fully composed and with confidentiality agreement in hand. Chef – who had gone through upwards of two dozen scullery maids since arriving just three months earlier – showed perfect sensitivity to the conundrum in which I found myself.

Eschewing the conventional aphrodisiacs of which I am sure you are aware (oysters, pome-

“The bar must be thinly sliced in the manner of an extremely small loaf of bread, and the slices placed in a perfect pentacle upon an untarnished silver platter.

This platter must then be carried by the Lover to the Beloved, the slices placed communion-like upon the tongue of the Beloved as he sleeps and there allowed, one-byone, to dissolve.” granites, things of that nature), he swore me to the highest level of secrecy before disclosing his recipe for ardour. What was revealed caused my heart to miss seveal beats. Chef told me of a mysterious ingot of food – known to the great unwashed as a ‘Snickersbar’ – which, when prepared in a certain way, was known to be an aphrodisiac of positively volcanic potency.

The ‘Snickersbar’ must first be skinned of its plastic sheath, in much the same way as a

fresh eel must be turned, wriggling, out of its skin. A ‘Snickersbar’ does not wriggle or writhe, however, but rather sits upon the plate, slablike and inert – awaiting the preparatory touch which will transform it from mere proletarian stuffage into a substance of untold power. The bar must be thinly sliced in the manner of an extremely small loaf of bread, and the slices placed in a perfect pentacle upon an untarnished silver platter.

This platter must then be carried by the Lover to the Beloved, the slices placed communion-like upon the tongue of the Beloved as he sleeps and there allowed, one-by-one, to dissolve.

I need not go into details of the instantaneous and transformative effect of this ritual upon Mr. Browne. All I will say is that by the following weekend I lay, prone, upon the chaise longue in such a state of ravishment that even a King Size Snickersbar crammed whole into my gaping mouth by a phalanx of Bavarian stormtroopers could not have stirred me to further activities. As I lay there, insensate, a thought occurred to me which I often summon now to fortify myself against the intellectual and gastronomic starvation I undergo here: It is often the lack of a pleasure which makes the moment of its acquisition all the more thrilling.

As I choke back my grey gruel and ward off the attentions of Big Sharon, I think of the carnal and alimentary pleasures that await my release, and am reminded that while absence may not make the heart grow fonder, it certainly serves to bring the appetite to a furious boil.

NEXT TIME: A conundrum for Claudia.

[Claudia Braün is in conversation with David Turpin.]

Various You Decide

The essence of this column is cheap. But a cheap pint doesn’t have to mean a bad pint. It is with this in mind that we are including a section on drinking on the bright side of three euro. If you are taste sensitive then turn away now. The sunny side of three euro per pint comes at a cost, the bar maids with hoof dentures, the funeral time music and the refreshing taste of anti-design. This is not Dawson Street country.

This is the first year I have successfully managed to make it to mid-January without breaking any of my New Year’s resolutions. Thankfully, however, this does not mean that I have been surviving on a diet of raw eggs and pumpkin seeds. Last year as the clock struck 12, amongst the madness of Hospital’s Twenty Hands at the Music Centre, I took that inward look and instead of deciding on a gung-ho rebuttal of my physical state I resolved to tackle that of my brain instead.

I am a fairly sane person, as much so as the next person – so my plan didn’t stretch as far as checking myself into a mental hospital once I’d recovered from the festivities of the night before. No, I made up my mind to stop lying, to others, but most importantly myself. We all fib, there’s no point in denying it. Hence I made no attempt at drawing up a plan of six

“Goin’ down the Offo”

o’clock jogs and ten hours study a day.

And so I have embarked on this new year with a policy of one hundred per cent honesty. It is with some difficulty that I have stretched it to writing this column.

When I found myself asking friends where in town I could buy a cheap pint I had to stop myself.

Surely I should take it as a sign that I hadn’t actually been to that “dodgy place on Frances Street.”

The fact of the matter is that when considering a night out going somewhere that I do not necessarily like simply to save a euro or two is not my buzz. Nor, in retrospect, is it the vast majority of people’s.

Let’s face it – you’re broke, it’s Friday night, you’re hardly going to say: ‘Well, I have a tenner so I might as well go to insert random oul lad pub here where I can get three drinks instead

of two.’ Unless, you’re some kind of neurotic straight-laced accountant you do what any other sane person would do and either buy some cans, drink them before going out, or perhaps a nagan to stick in your back pocket and pour into a nice

“ Yo u ’ r e b r o k e , i t ’ s Friday night, you’re hardly going to say: ‘Well, I might as well go to -insert random oul lad pub herewhere I can get three drinksinstead.of two.’” glass of ice while in the toilets of your favourite hip-happening club.

Fact? Come on we have all been there. I for one refuse any longer to be scandalously ripped off by pubs anymore. Buying booze in the off-licence is simply

the way to go.

Here is my guide to drinking cheap in Dublin: a) Nobody thinks this far in advance but if you do Lidl and Aldi are the way to go. b) Centras etc. are that bit more expensive but they do stay open that bit later – often a quandary.

Their winning factor is location, location, location and you are also nearly always guaranteed to find the cheapest wine. c) Dunne’s on Georges Street don’t stock beer in the fridge and getting asked for ID by a fifteen year old that claims they’re the manager means they lose my vote. d)Once it starts heating up again we all know the Pav is the only place you can drink your own drink outside and get away with it.

e) Not that I’m advocating breaking the law – but if you happen to be bringing your alcohol into a premises – don’t try it if you see lots of full nagans and coke bottles on the ground around the bouncers.

Use your head – drink it first, or pop around the corner and stuff it down your jocks, and next time invent a fail safe secret pocket to fool even the most intelligent (perhaps least dumb is more fitting) of doormen. f) Finally -the most sensible of points- if you find yourself completely broke and still pondering how many cans you can get for €8.17, perhaps its time to reconsider a) your alcoholism b) the locations you choose to pursue this disease and c) the people with which you do so. Surprisingly enough there are places and people in this city where and who with you can still manage to have sober fun!

Tuesday January 24th, 2006

FOOD & DRINK

Trinity News

This year I will ... take over the world!

Harry Johnstone’s

Words Of Wine

Having trouble sticking to those New Year’s Resolutions? Hana Chelache takes us through the fickle world of human resolve and tells us how to embark on a healthy New Year.

Let me guess, on January the first this year you were turning your back on your couch potato existence, you were only going to eat the type of food that is usually found in pet shops, never drink again, and fit an Olympian style exercise programme around college. And you probably kept it up for a few days, didn’t you? A Buddhist monk would have winced to see your new routine of rigorous self-denial. And God weren’t you feeling smug? So why now, as

2006 continues on, have you become, like just about every other person on the face of the planet again?

Why are you flabby, spotty, why don’t you have the sex drive of a pre-menopausal rhino?

Well, and you find this hard to accept, but it’s probably because you’re a mere-mortal, not a supermodel or a movie star, and there’s not much any of us can do to change it. Look at yourself in the mirror; it may not be a pretty sight

Do they really know the answers?

but its probably the most attractive you’re ever going to be. The fact that you nearly pass out walking up the stairs?

Well the sad thing is you’ll probably never be fitter. We all have to accept that given the sorry state we’re all in now then it’s probably all down hill from here. A lifetime of healthy eating probably won’t make much of a difference.

At the end of your lifetime you’ll probably look just like everyone else does, old, not a ninety-year-old Greek God. But I personally don’t mind. New Year’s resolutions in my opinion are just part of the downward spiral of self-hatred that modern society has created for us.

Just days after Christmas people who make their money off you by telling you that you are fat start to squeeze every penny they can out of you with numerous work out videos and diet books, (well they might be right, but there’s no need to capitalise on it).

This process began early this year; to my horror the good people at Richard and Judy, one of my favourite TV programmes, presented us this year with their “amazing drop a dress size” scheme in which they ask three women with who weren’t unattractive or endangering their health in a major way but qualified for this scheme because they had body shapes that a hundred years ago would have probably passed as normal, especially after childbirth, were submitted to a three week regime that looked like torture, to be publicly shamed on national tel-

evision if they can’t fit into a dress that was too small at the beginning.

Well they all managed to pull it off, (or run to the shops and buy a bigger dress), but the result was horrible.

Here was Richard Madely, hardly a pin up himself, asking the three contestants if they’d be eating an alternative Christmas dinner to the rest of their families or just having a smaller portion, I think I’d rather look at a screen full of fat women. Can you imagine anything more offensive, or unnerving, then being a member of those women’s families on Christmas day? In this context eating what you’re meant to eat during the festive period would suddenly become a great big sign around your neck saying, “I am a greedy and self indulgent fat bastard who deserves to have a heart attack or a stroke as my only present this year.” Definitely not looking forward to that pleasant day.

This isn’t me trying to advocate damaging your body by eating unhealthy food. Neither am I having a cheap crack at the media being used as a tool to educate people and bring about some real change, 2005 for me will always be the year when the media actually made a visible change for the better with Jamie Oliver’s campaign to get healthier meals served in British schools. But at the same time there has to be a balance, I’m sure during the 1940s when people were apparently never healthier bookshops were full of proper books that actually advanced your brain, not full of stuff written by

people who want us to eat nothing but pure protein. And Special K I’m sorry but you are a product packed with sugar, salt and artificial sweeteners. Any woman that decides she is going to eat nothing but you for a whole month to fit into a pair of jeans she bought when she is twelve is either pig ignorant, or a victim of her own vanity.

So what are we going to do then? We have the very real threat of cancer, heart disease and diabetes on the one hand, but on the other hand evil thin people making money from our vulnerability bombard us. There are books out there that do genuinely want to make you healthier, but if you can’t follow one of these impossible schemes don’t worry. I think the reason most people don’t stick to these things that “will change your life” is probably the same reason that not a lot of people become Buddhist monks.

We simply don’t want to, what we eat is usually determined by what we enjoy, we usually don’t exercise because we don’t enjoy it. My suggestion is not that you make up some resolutions you know that you can keep, which doesn’t mean you have to actually “give up” anything or suffer, but where you’ll be able to see the rewards for yourself.

I was going to try and come up with ten, but not being a qualified nutritionist, or a Greek Goddess myself you’ll have to be satisfied with eight, but I think they’re pretty pain free. Who knows, you might even enjoy trying them out.

Hana’s New Year’s Eating Tips 1. Buy food you’re actually going to eat. I always have to throw food away and it is such a waste. If you have a blender make a soup or a smoothie out of all the stuff that’s left over before it goes funny. This is a great way of including the stuff you can’t bear, because its taste will be hidden by just about everything.

2. Be inventive with fruit and vegetables. To quote everyone’s favourite housewife Marge Simpson “fruit is nature’s candy”.

If it’s something different then it’s probably good for you and also satisfying. Especially with vegetables, these things are colour coordinated for a reason; a full spectrum of colours means a full spectrum of vitamins, even a baby could work this one out. We are meant to enjoy eating these things, I know I don’t want to die not knowing what a paw-paw is like, and you don’t just get vitamin C from oranges you know, kiwis and tomatoes are also full of the stuff.

A good start is to eat two portions of vegetables with every evening meal, and don’t overcook them

either or you loose half the nutrients and taste. What ever you do don’t take those bloody vitamin pills instead. First of all they are ridiculously expensive, if you want to cover everything you need in your diet you’ll be spending three digit figures. Secondly what you get naturally is what’s best for you and thirdly, how are you meant to erm … dispose of your waste, if you don’t have a bit of roughage.

3. Put raisins on your breakfast cereal (or museli if you’re smug).

They make everything chewier, sweeter and its all perfectly natural, ah bliss.

4. Make your own packed lunch to bring into college so at the end of the week you can afford to treat yourself to lunch at a place you really enjoy. I probably need to start doing this as well because most of my money last year went on dodgy sandwiches from chain stores. It can be kind of puzzling knowing what to put in your sandwiches, if you have anything spare lying around then my advice is bung it in, including salad. I also

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find that hummus is really nice alternative spread, although it doesn’t go with everything. It’s made from chickpeas and sesame seed oil, so it’s for you and already contains proteins, plus its one of my favourite foods. Plain Greek yoghurt is also good mixed in with tuna fish as an alternative to mayonnaise, and if you use tuna that has been preserved in fresh water, with no added salt or oil then the only other good deed you need to do that day is polish your own halo, you smug little angel.

5. Enjoy cooking and enjoy eating, that’s what Dr Atkins probably won’t tell you to do. Cook with flat mates and be creative so it doesn’t feel like a chore. And also take some time out from all this worrying to treat yourself. So what if you enjoy eating chocolate cake? Are you really a bad person who’ll go to hell for having a fry up on a Sunday morning or drinking on a Saturday night? Don’t go over board, but if you’re intelligent enough to be able to judge a healthy diet then you deserve to rewards yourself for it. Oh, and

Escape From The Butter y...

stop feeling so guilty all the time.

6. Eat fish at least once a week, but I’m not talking about some poncey cod, I’m talking about oily fish like salmon, trout, monkfish, and mackerel. You can get all of these a lot cheaper if you go to a local fishmonger, even though they do tend keep quite student unfriendly hours. These things contain that stuff called omega 3, I’m not quite sure what it exactly does but its great. I was a vegetarian for two years, and by the end of those two years so much of my hair had broken off that it was half its previous thickness. I started eating fish again and this problem just went away, so I must be doing something right. Also when you cook it put a splash of olive oil, as much lemon juice as you can squeeze out, herbs and halved cherry tomatoes, wrap it up in tin foil and bung it in the oven for twenty five minutes so you also have a sauce to put on your rice, pasta or whatever. If you’re a vegetarian then linseeds also have lots of omega 3, and you don’t need to cook them, so you probably win.

7. Eat pulses, (by that I mean beans); they are a lot cheaper than meat and higher in protein, so there. You can use them to make all kinds of things as well, sauces, soups, burgers, basically anything you use meat in. Tofu can also be really nice as if you cook it Japanese style. Try frying some tofu and vegetables in a little bit of olive oil, then add water with a couple of spoons of miso in it (this soy bean thing you can get in oriental food markets, its very good for you but be warned, its disgusting and nutritionally useless unless its fresh), noodles and if you want stir in an egg and watch it cook. It’s basically Wagamama’s in your own home in about ten minutes, perfect.

8. I really don’t want to include this one but I’m going to have to.

Find a form of exercise you enjoy and do it regularly. If you succeed in doing this, please tell me to get off my bum and join you.

Another festive season over. Us Christians celebrating the birth of our saviour then the start of another year by gorging ourselves stupid and keeping those chubby cheeks ruddy for the best part of a week (or three) by imbibing an array of alcohols: wine, port, brandy, champagne, whiskey, stouts and beers in all shapes and forms. Ah, the time for taking is over, and our bellies and livers and pockets have paid the price.

Well, the New Year brings plenty of imaginings, forward-thinking and Big Talk from the visionaries among us. I would recommend looking no further than The Corkscrew on Chatham Street, for a re-stocking

world battle for wine sales.

The west coast Palandri Estate 2001, was a well-reputed Shiraz, reduced from €14.95 to €11 yet still lacking value.

Fragrancing strawberry and cherry, this big, powerful wine seemed simply that. Big is not always better, and all its taste could garner from our panel was… “Pepper“, and little more.

David O ‘Leary, the former chief wine maker at Harveys and twice international winemaker of the year, has crafted a clever Cabernet Sauvignon/Shiraz whose form and taste will appeal very much to the newer generation of winos.

Complete with screw top and

of the cellar, or perhaps an assuaging of one’s newly found thirst for wine. The January Sale certainly applies here, so too do some choice wines from the New World.

As Chilean wines surf the wave of global commercial popularity, Dublin stockists continue to offload such accessible, value-driven produce by the shipload to happy customers.

Tabali 2002, a Merlot from vina san pedro, was another case in point. Grown from vines in the Lamari Valley, which is now famous for its heat, its height and the fact that this terrain of quality vineyards was only discovered 10 years ago. The nose offered lots of bouncy fruits; both tropical and blackcurrants-and-cream at the same time. The wine was super - creamy, rich, dry, with nice balance - and all this for a reduced price of €9.95. It exemplified a Chilean under €10.

What followed were two Australians, one from the usual stable for big, robust reds, and another grown in the west.

Brand marketing in Australia and the rest of the New World, like wine-based technology, is miles ahead of the French, who seem to retreat further and further into the Medoc, when it comes to the

funky artwork label, the wine exudes a modern feel. Its bright and brash and for tasters, it’s big.

Southern Roo 2002, its called, and represents one grape type of a number of ‘Heath Wines’ from different parts of the country.

The consortium was founded by Alan Heath, the former racing driver turned businessman. This smelt of vanilla and saffron, but tasted of berries and cream, again, but was complemented by hints of cherry and liquorish. At 14% it’ll guarantee enjoyment.

The Corkscrew has kindly agreed to offer special 10% discounts on all wines for TCD students, providing they can show ID. This last wine, Southern Roo, has been specially reduced to us for €11.50.

It really is Great value for the perfect example of a south east Australian red. Go and try it, if only to keep that liver on its toes…

All wines are available at The Corkscrew, Chatham Street, Dublin 2.

The question lurks- where can you get a decent coffee in town after 9 o clock and not have to pay through the nose for it? In my misguided youth, the answer was inevitably- Eddie Rockets. However, one cold wintery evening in 5th year, all that changed. Through unquestionable divine intervention, I happened upon Heavenly Food Company.

Where? Temple Bar Square- next to the Hagen Daaz Café (my computer doesn’t acknowledge the existence of umlauts so I apologize to any German speakers who are offended by the lack thereof).

How long? From Main Arch, down Dame St. and down by Central Bank, it takes about 5ish minutes.

Heavenly Food Company with Ailbhe Malone

Staff?

Two foreign girls who serve with a smile and are generous with their free Chocolates.

Prices?

Coffee starts at about €1.75

Seating?

Herein lies the downside, all seating is outdoors. This is rather cosmopolitan European and whatnot in the summer, but not particularly fun in a cold Irish January.

Unexpected Upside? Most cafés would be content serving one hot drink to perfection and leaving other beverages to chance. Not this place. Whether you go for the beautiful hot chocolate, or as I call it on my grumpy days- ‘fat in a cup’ or their vanilla chai lattés, you won’t be disappointed.

Unexpected Downside? Whatever you do, DON’T TRY THE HOT DOGS. Sure, they may look tempting but after 3 bites your stomach begins to rebel in a vengeful manner…..

Finally……. If you get a seat at the right time of the evening on a Saturday night, that funny man who wears leopardskin and limbos under firey poles performs right beneath your nose.

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Travel Editor: Alix O’Neill

Tuesday January 24, 2006

Trinity News

TRAVEL

Aussie Rules- The Backpacker’s Guide to Down Under Ruth Patten on surf and skydiving on the Bruce Highway The most trampled of all the beaten tracks in the great island that is Australia is the Sydney to Cairns route. It takes you up the east coast and through where the majority of the population calls their home. I was lucky to find my way there last Summer and I would advise everyone to beg, borrow, steal or stowaway in order to get there. Most people are lucky enough to have up to a year to get to know the place but I only had seven weeks; seven frantic, exhausting, exhilarating, fabulous weeks of endless roads and the coast almost constantly to my right. Starting in the surprisingly familiar city of Sydney provided a few introductions to Oz. I sampled the obvious destinations; the aquarium (fantastic), the opera house (bigger than you expect) and the fantastic climb up to the top of the the Sydney Harbour Bridge (incredible, especially at night, what a view!) There was almost too much to talk about but visits to Manly, Bondi and the awe inspiring Blue Mountains are mandatory, although perhaps not including the four hour bush-walk that left me practically asthmatic for the first time in my life!

Being on my own, or what is known as “an Independent Traveller” (sounds much more posh than backpacker) I chose to travel with a company called “Oz Experience”. Their manic drivers ferried us independent travellers (otherwise known as those of us with no friends) up the coast. Quite a bit more expensive than the mundane Greyhound service but well worth it for the extras alone –such as getting into theme parks after closing, surfing in tiny coastal towns and a night in a rustic cattle station in the outback. The

minibuses left every morning and allowed me to meet a great many people along the way who were in exactly the same position as me.

That is just as lost, solitary and utterly liberated. Up early we left Sydney for a three day surf camp where I finally came face to face with my ultimate fear: the sea. Yes, I am that pathetic but having seen ‘Jaws’ at the age of five I have been unable to go any deeper than paddling ever since. For the first hour I was swearing like a trooper

ever (the Amsterdam of Australia), it is more than bizarre when the old lady in the bookshop offers to sell you marijuana. Then Passing into Queensland to the beautiful Gold Coast, also known as Surfers’ Paradise, for obvious reasons. It is very commercialised, filled with what is known as ‘Australiana’ –sort of the equivalent of the green leprechaun hats you see in Temple Bar, but miles and miles of beaches and excellent surf. Up the road is Brisbane (BrisVegas!), where

“I finally decided to take the plunge; a 14,000 feet parachute jump with a 60 second freefall awaited me and Brett, my instructor, who inspired me with confidence by having the Batman symbol emblazzoned on his jumpsuit” at every failed attempt (which, if you have ever been surfing, you will know are many!) but soon I was laughing at the madness of it all with the others and, shock, actually enjoying myself. By the second day I was even able to stand…for about three seconds.

On up the coast to Byron Bay, possibly the most fabulous town in Australia, and that is saying a great deal. Staying there long enough to get my diving passport, nearly drowning when my gear decided to float away while twelve metres underwater and sampling the eclectic mix of hippy living and the madness of the backpacker Mecca club “Cheeky Monkey’s”, I was on my way again. We passed Nimbin, a small town that was taken over by hippies in the 70’s for an Aquarius festival and then changed irrevocably when they refused to leave; the craziest town

they created a beach in the city centre (why not?) and is surrounded by a suburbia filled with massive theme parks.

From Brisbane I went north again to the small town of Mooloolaba just beside Steve Irwin’s famous Australia Zoo. Enthusiastic and more hands on than any other zoo I have ever been to, this place is worth a visit for his custom-made

majority of my time was spent washing everything I owned and finding antihistamines for an unfortunate reaction to spider bites.

From here, (I told you this was whirlwind!) we passed though Rainbow beach, Hervey Bay (with access to Frasier Island), Agnes Waters –where I continued my lucky streak with by crashing my scooter- a night in a working cattle station in Kroombit and up to Selena for a game of lawn bowls.

Whew!

All of this was done double quick so that I could spend some time in Airlie beach, or more specifically in a racing boat called the Condor sailing around the Whitsunday Islands. I cannot fully express how amazing it is to be hanging on to the deck of the Condor as she sails on her side while humpback whales sing to you and the sun and wind beat at you in equal measure. I was lucky at this point to find people on this trip who were to travel with me up the coast and we travelled through to Magnetic Island. This is a more exclusive hotspot with sunset beach parties and sea kayaking in the early morning before moving on to Mission Beach, a really quiet and mental town where every sec-

“I cannot fully express how amazing it is to be hanging on to the deck of a racing boat as she sails on her side while humpback whales sing to you and the sun and wind beat at you in equal measure” Crocosseum alone! More famous for backpackers is the bigger town of Noosa up the coast where I unfortunately discovered spiders had infested my clothes and the

ond person is a mildly abusive skydiver. Home of the famous ‘Jump the Beach’ skydive, this town (or really just the hostel with a club attached in a sprawling neighbour-

hood) is not for the fainthearted.

On the way to Cairns was a crocdile farm –while it was never really in doubt, I will still NEVER be buying crocodile skin anythingwhere I fell in love with a python called Louisa, passing Millaa Millaa Falls and the prerequisite Bungy centre (Minjin!) before reaching the city of Cairns. At this point I was highly tempted to change my flights and stay in Australia forever (or at least until

the visa ran out) but we compromised and headed further north to Port Douglas and exploring the Great Barrier Reef off the coast of Cape Tribulation. Glorious! In the days before my flight out of Cairns I huffed and puffed and finally decided to take the plunge; a 14,000 feet parachute jump with a 60 second freefall awaited me and Brett, my instructor who inspired confidence by having the Batman symbol emblazzened on his jump-

suit. And so it was home on a very big high from my travels in Oz. A place I left with a burning desire to return and do it all again as well as all the stuff I could not do with the time limitation. In fact, in order to fulfil this ambition I am willing to take sponsorship, donations, loans you don’t expect to get repayed anytime soon, anything …please?!

Galapagos: Worth Discovering (That’s the Theory Anyway...)

Ayson Mc Evoy cruises the isles of Darwin’s dreams

Galapagos Islands fact file: - The Galapagos are a group of volcanically formed islands almost 1,000km off the coast of Ecuador.

- They were declared a World heritage site in 1975.

- There are two options when it comes to visiting the islands; to stay in hotel accommodation (which is only available on the most populous island, Santa Cruz, the unofficial capital of the archi-

pelago) and visit the surrounding islands by day; or to cruise the islands, travelling by night and exploring by day.

- The biological isolation of the islands, combined with their volcanic formation and variety of warm and cold currents have led to a truly astounding array of habitats and species. Each island even has its own unique set of species, due to both isolation by the sea (most islands are, on average, four hours

from one another by boat) and variations in island age and topography e.g. some taller islands have humid zones in the highlands which support different species of plants and animals.

- Half of all bird species, a third of all plants and all reptiles on the islands are endemic and exist nowhere else on earth!!

- Needless to say, tourist numbers are restricted and tourists can only see designated visitor sites in the national park courtesy of a trained guide, and, to reduce soil erosion can only travel via delineated paths.

- There’s an Irish connection to the islands too… (There always is!).

The first permanent resident on Floreana island was an Irish sailor named Patrick Watkins, who washed up there in the early 1800s, and, racial stereotyping has it that he survived by growing vegetables to trade with whalers for alcohol.

- It’s amazing that I’ve gotten this far and still haven’t mentioned the most famous visitor to the islands, Charles Darwin. He visited the

Now that you have an idea of what the islands are all about, I’ll get down to what I got up to there.

I remember clearly the day that I booked and paid for my trip to the Galapagos. I went through an agency called ‘Unforgettable Expeditions’. The hope of such an expedition began to fade during my journey to the main island of Santa Cruz, when I remembered that I have a tendency towards seasickness. And so, I spent the first two hours on the waters surrounding the islands with my head and neck hanging off the side of a speedboat.

My friend Lizzy and I were a bit confused when we ended up spending the first night of our ‘cruise’ in a hotel. Our first day on the islands, we visited the Charles Darwin research centre (where I got the little bits of info that I just shared with you!). We moved on to a tortoise sanctuary where the workers collect tiny tortoise eggs, incubate them, feed them and even-

“The first permanent resident on Floreana island was an Irish sailor who survived by growing vegetables to trade with whalers for alcohol” islands as part of his epic five year voyage aboard the HMS Beagle.

He was struck by how well adapted the animals were to their environment and how specific these adaptations were depending on the island…the rest is natural history!

tually return them to the wild.

Here, also, resides the oldest living creature, George, a giant tortoise hundreds of years old. Many attempts have been made to try to get George to procreate (he is the last of his particular species) but

even the most alluring female tortoise just doesn’t seem to get him going and on the rare occasion that they do, other problems arise for the ancient George!

We spent that afternoon swimming at what I am convinced has to be the most secluded and peaceful beach in the world. That

seaman didn’t have enough money in the account for us to cash our cheques. At this stage I had zoned out and let the more vocal, and burly, of the passengers fight the cause. Half an hour later all the cheques were cashed but as we left the bank the feeling of satisfaction but this was sadly tinged with dis-

“It was like walking through an untrammeled zoo and the animals, having been free from predators for millenia, either languidly accepted our presence, or came to investigate/welcome us” is, apart from the iguanas, lizards, lava gulls and herons lazing about the rocks, and the sea turtles gliding through the waters. That night was spent in a hotel on the same island. At this stage some of the other passengers began to get frustrated at there appearing to be no boat, this being a cruise and all.

And I have to say, even though a part of me was delighted that I had escaped sleeping and eating on a motorboat (the budget choice) for the past two days, I was getting a bit concerned too.

On the third day of the island, at midday, all the passengers of the ‘Sara Dayuma’ ended up in the local police office, demanding both an explanation and a refund. Each of us made a formal complaint, convincing the boat owner that we were serious, and then trooped down to the bank to cash our refunds. Surprise of all surprises when our ‘trustworthy’

appointment, and the realisation that we had already missed two days of touring the islands. It turned out that there had been a problem with the wood on the ship (it was rotting) and no one thought to take it on board until it had gotten out of control. The crew had been working the past few days to replace the planks and were waiting for an inspection by the island sea officials in order to be allowed sail again. This they kept from us until the boat happened to be ready and approved, that evening, on the second day of our cruise.

We set off that evening and arrived on Santa Fe Island just in time to walk the island route as the sun began its descent. A huge colony of sea lions lounging on the beach and grunting to one another welcomed us onto the island (well, I think it was a welcome grunt) and some of the younger ones came to investigate the new arrivals. The

sky turned various shades of orange and purple until it was time to board the boat again. Eventually the lingering clouds faded from view from the deck of the boat and melted into the night sky. We began sailing during the night to the next island and it was a truly new experience to sleep in a tiny boat, miles and miles from any mainland.

(Having said that, it’s not one that I would repeat many times!)

We visited Isla Espanola the following morning and followed a trail around the island which displayed the majority of what is found there. Huge groups of marine iguanas lay in piles on the rocks, literally on top of one another, and albatrosses, tropic birds, Galapagos doves, masked boobies and blue footed boobies circled overhead. It was like walking through an untrammelled zoo, and the animals, having been free from predators for millennia, either languidly accepted our presence or came to investigate/welcome us.

We snorkelled off the boat that afternoon, among sea lions and angel fish and a whole group of others I couldn’t even begin to imagine the names of.

My brief visit to the Galapagos did turn out to be an ‘unforgettable’ experience, and I don’t think it could have been otherwise, since there is truly no other place on earth like it.

Tuesday, January 24th 2006

Careers Editor: Myles Gutkin

Trinity News

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CAREERS

Career Focus: Medicine Zara Shubber explores the medical profession, what it has to offer and what it requires of would-be Practitioners, with reference to Irish Tenor Dr. Ronan Tynan as an example.

The Job A career in medicine is one of the most honourable, highly demanded and respected fields in the world. It is noble, as it encompasses humanitarian service and is often both rewarding and well paid. In the medical field, there are a number of areas in which you can specialize.

With hundreds of open doors available to the aspiring doctor, he or she can rest assured that finding a suitable career will not be difficult.

The options are many and include positions in surgery, a GP clinic or even psychiatry.

If academia is a person’s calling, careers in teaching at a medical school or as a medical researcher are widely available.

Although the majority of working doctors do so within a clinical or hospital setting, many opportunities exist in many other sectors, such as the ‘armed forces, corporations directing health and safety programmes and insurance companies’.

If travel is your passion, volunteer for one of the many worldwide aid organizations including Medecins sans Frontieres and help fight the AIDS epidemic or world hunger. Although you will not be able to heal and help everyone in need, your career in medicine will always be rewarding and fulfilling.

The downside is that the path ahead will not be easy. It is long, involving many years of hard-work and dedication and most often the financial expenses will put a huge strain on the medical student, with many graduating from medical school with huge student loans and overdrafts.

It requires a lifetime of learning and teaching, both in theory and in practice. With the rapid acceleration of advancement in both the technological and pharmaceutical industries, doctors must continuously update their knowl-

edge and skills throughout their career.

Whilst the overall working environment for doctors is improving and their hours have recently been cut, one should never underestimate that a doctor as a professional is required to work relatively long and unsociable

community Security Medicine allows you a good standard of living with the comfortable guarantee of a secure future.

Stimulation Day to day experiences of a doctor change daily so it is unlikely to prove tedious or repetitive

“If travel is your passion, volunteer for one of the many worldwide aid organizations including Medecins sans Frontieres and help fight the AIDS epidemic or world hunger” hours and will often have additional on-call duties.

They will be expected to study for their speciality examinations throughout their working career, which can be both demanding and time-consuming and may have huge social impacts on not only themselves but also on their families.

One should however consider the positive. As a doctor progresses within his or her field, the amount of labour will often decrease. Much more time may be spent training younger doctors, researching a wide range of medical fields or on more specialized cases in which experience, and therefore clinical judgement, is demanded.

A career in medicine encompasses many characteristics that many would consider as integral elements of a “dream career”.

Altruism As a doctor you will have an opportunity to help others Proactivity Medicine is challenging and dynamic and often demands splitsecond decisions based on a lifetime of experience.

Respect Medicine is on of the world’s most prestigious and honoured professions as you become an integral and highly valued asset in your

Diversity Disease and illness are rife throughout the world. Whether it’s a refugee camp in Africa or a clinic here in Ireland, the title of doctor grants you a visa to every region of the world.

Flexibility Many career options are available both within and outside of the health sector.

Getting there The unfortunate reality is that even armed with all the traits and requirements needed to make it through the undergraduate medical degree, getting in can be testing in itself. ‘ Each year thousands of qualified applicants get turned away for what amounts to supply versus demand’. There are simply more people wanting to pursue a career in medicine than places in medical schools allow for.

The minimum requirements of eligibility for the medical programme at Trinity College stands as having qualified from school with 590 points or 4 grade ‘A’ A-levels, which should encompass a strong scientific background.

Another possible entry route is to hold a previous degree in a related scientific field.

Not all medical schools have the same admission criteria and so if you fail to be accepted at

a medical school in your country and you are determined to be a doctor, your next option may be to look elsewhere, possibly at “offshore” medical schools.

An undergraduate medical programme is typically 5 years, sometimes longer or shorter depending on the individual school or country. The first few years are spent studying and grasping medical theory while the latter are spent in clinical practice, developing hands-on experience and gaining essential skills that will aid in the interaction with patients.

“A typical first year student at Trinity College spends an average of 40 hours per week or more within a structured environment during the academic year.”

These long and arduous hours and the extensive reading volume can leave you with time for little else.

On the plus side, with perseverance, graduating “will lead to a Bachelor in Medicine, a Bachelor in Surgery and a Bachelor in Obstetrics.” All doctors having survived the “trauma” of medical school must complete a period of internship before they are regis-

cess in the medical profession are disciplined, motivated, intelligent and hard-working. They have a desire to help the sick and needy as well as a caring and sensitive manner in their interaction and reassurance of their patients and their families.

Medicine requires commitment and so your decision to pursue this career should not be taken lightly. You should ask yourself some questions and reassess your reasons for wanting to become a doctor.

If it is for financial reasons and job security, it is important to note that there are many other careers where you can earn much more money much more quickly and with a lot less responsibility. If your motivation is an altruistic one, you should also be aware that medicine is not the only way you can give help to others.

Some choose medicine because of their excellent school grades and are unsure of what else to do. These people should consider that, although an excellent grasp of the roots of basic science is necessary, being a doctor requires

“All doctors having survived the “trauma” of medical school must complete a period of internship before they are registered and recognized as independent doctors” tered and recognized as independent doctors. This training is carried out within a supervised clinical setting with a “steep learning curve” that in fact continues throughout their career.

“In terms of the training period it can take up to 12 years to progress within structured training – from studying medicine at an undergraduate level to being appointed a hospital consultant. GP status may be obtained in 9 years.”

Personal Qualities

much more than numbers, including excellent communication skills, the ability to work within a team and a highly adaptive mentality towards your work.

Is Medicine your Calling?

Compassion and commitment Advocacy and altruism Leadership and logic Love of learning Integrity and curiosity Negotiation with beaureaucracy Goodness of heart

The Example

People who ultimately achieve suc-

Ronan Tynan, successful Medic, sportsman and singer In his mid-thirties, Ronan Tynan is an inspirational doctor. Born with limb disabilities he still continued with his passion for extreme sports.

This stopped when his legs were amputated below the knee owing to a car accident. Despite this set back, within a year he was winning gold medals at the Paralympics, amassing a total of 18 gold medals and 14 world records.

Tynan was the first disabled person ever admitted to The National College of Physical Education. He graduated with a degree from Trinity College as a medical doctor who specialized in orthopaedic sports and injuries. In addition to this outstanding biography, he is also renowned for his beautiful tenor voice. He has won numerous awards and regularly appears in concert as an opera

singer.

This incredible specimen of a human has been able to mix and combine numerous careers. He personifies determination and strength, as well as the ability to adapt himself to a wide-range of roles within a society that could have potentially made his disability a hindrance.

Career Resources www.nhscareers.nhs.uk www.doctorsjob.com www.msf.org www.tcd.ie/Admissions www.ronantynan.net

Towards an Ethical Career Myles Gutkin looks at the world of ethical business practice, and how you and your fellow employees can help to create a more ethical business world Security and ethics An enormous part of our lives is spent at work, making profit for our employers in exchange for wages.

We should enjoy the work we do, and be proud of it to avoid looking back from retirement to realise that our working lives were spent hurting others to fill the boss’s pockets.

“Don’t ever commit a crime, or circumvent national or international laws for your employer.

Remember that under Irish law, any contract for illegal work is void” However with expensive real estate, insufficient social welfare and a high cost of living, there’s no real choice for the Irish resident but to be in a constant state of employment. So it may seem that an employee has little opportunity to dictate the terms of the working environment for fear of losing her/his meal ticket. But there are some things you can do to encourage moral business practice.

Do no harm The easiest way to ensure that the work you do is socially responsible is to look into the company’s ethical record before agreeing to work for them, or even before applying for a job with them. You’ll need to do some research before writing a good cover letter for your CV, so while you’re at it, read the website, job description and mission statement.

What would you be doing? Who would you be working for? Would any one be hurt unjustly as a result of your work? Would you feel ashamed to do what your corporation does as a whole? Don’t be a cog in the wheel unless you approve of where the wheel is going.

Make a small difference There are small changes which a few like-minded employees can introduce to any working environment to make a positive contribution. Make suggestions about better ethical practice at work, for example, include the more socially and environmentally responsible suppliers as well as the cheapest prices when obtaining quotes, and outline their benefits objectively.

“The easiest way to ensure that the work you do is socially responsible is to look into the company’s ethical record before agreeing to work for them”

working for charitable organisations, but it does mean working for socially responsible employers.

Enterprise can be very good for a community, but employees and directors must ensure that they balance their need for profit with the needs of the community in which it operates.

“A business is fundamentally a structure which exists to serve its consumer base, and not its owners.

So if it manipulates consumers, and damages their wider environment, it will eventually alienate itself from the source of all its profit” Providing a service or product such as in education, social work, accounting, healthcare, building, and even marketing can make a positive impact on the world if done to serve consumers, making a reasonable profit and using resources responsibly.

Ethics and business Request paper recycling services in your office and a compost bin in the canteen, then commit to using them. Don’t ever commit a crime, or circumvent national or international laws for your employer. Remember that under Irish law, any contract for illegal work is void.

Make a big difference There are many careers which benefit others. This doesn’t only mean

It often seems that nothing matters in business, except the bottom line.

Boards of directors are employed by shareholders who aren’t necessarily interested in the work the company does, but want to take home big dividends. So is the answer to continuously cut costs and increase profits? No. A business is fundamentally a structure which exists to serve its consumer base, and not its owners. So if it manipulates consumers, and damages their wider environment, it

will eventually alienate itself from the source of all its profit.

There is an increasing market for ethically procured products and services, which will grow with the resources of the population. Corporations who want share prices to retain value, as well as produce dividends need to follow the overwhelming market trend towards responsible practice.

“avoid supporting corporations which provide goods and services using methods we personally deem immoral”

Take responsibility With consumers becoming increasingly informed, the time of manipulating, overcharging and unethical cost-cutting is nearing its end.

Discerning consumers want to know that they aren’t supporting immoral practice, as is evident in the policies which our elected government has introduced to prevent improper waste disposal, unfair treatment of employees, unsafe procedures and corporate monopolies.

As well as refusing to elect a government that supports immoral business practice, we also need to avoid supporting corporations which provide goods and services using methods we personally deem immoral. Given two similarly priced options of equal quality, we should prefer the product which has hurt fewer people, wasted less resources and is marketed without manipulating consumers.

By withholding profits from

Business doesn’t always have a warm smile but a cold heart improper practitioners, we ensure better standards in the future.

Relevant websites: www.corporatewatch.org www.oasis.gov.ie www.entemp.ie

www.sgr.org.uk

18

SU & Societies Editor: Enda Hargaden

Tuesday January 24, 2006

Trinity News

SU & SOCIETIES

Societies: who got what?

With over ninety operational student societies in Trinity, the Central Societies Committee (CSC) have increased the issued grants to over €175,000 this year. Enda Hargaden reports where it went and dispels the myth that membership plays a major role in deciding grant allocation.

Trinity’s five biggest societies have almost 11,500 members between them this year. This is a significant increase in membership from last year, with the top five accounting for just over 10,300 in 2004/05.

The biggest society this year is St. Vincent De Paul, and with well over 4,000 members it is 125 times bigger than the smallest society to submit a grant application, the Socialist Workers’ party – but SVP are themselves down from nearly 5,000 members last year.

Second in the list, and the largest society that is not applicable to exempt membership fees, is the University Philosophical Society. However some societies we contacted resent their quoted membership figure of 3,697, as it includes ‘Gold Card’ members from previous years. The Phil are the only society to allow membership for more than one academic year because of a clause in their Constitution.

Exclusive to the Trinity News, the figures show the CSC have capped societal spending this year at over €175,000 this year, a substantial increase from last year.

This equates to over €6,500 per week of term.

Each society has to make an application detailing exactly what they’ll need money for to operate for the year, and a decision is made on this by the Executive Committee of the CSC. The money to fund this comes from the registration fee that we all pay - however reluctantly - at the beginning of each academic year. This is then divided up by the capitated bodies of the university: the Students’ Union, The Graduate Students’ Union, Publications, sports body DUCAC, and the CSC. In the run-up to Freshers’ Week heads of societies often decide to offer a low mem-

bership fee to societies in an attempt to attract new members, usually presuming that the increased membership figures will be reflected by an increased grant by the Central Societies Committee (CSC). These figures clearly dismiss this claim, with no clear relationship between membership and grant cap.

Such statistical analysis of the grant allocations by the CSC has never been published before, and confirm their commitment to base grants releases on activity and need rather than on the basis of membership. The figures show that low-cost societies receive lower amounts – in Yoga’s case only 71c per member – while very active and high-cost societies while Orchestral’s per capita grant fell just short of €40.

There appears, as the CSC claim, to be a strong relationship between last year’s performance and this year’s grant allocation. The award-winning Paintball society received an additional 67%, while the Phil’s success of last year is reflected by a €1300 increase in their basic grant. This contrasts to Food & Drink sustained a 25% drop in theirs to €1500, while Microbiology’s grant plummeted from €1500 to €600. It should be noted that allocations under the Special category in submissions is excluded from the figures, as these are taken on a case by case basis and represent unique once-off expenditures by societies. It should also be noted that the membership figures quoted are those submitted by the societies at the time of grant application.

There are also a number of societies that, whilst still officially recognised and considered active, have not registered either membership figures, elected a committee, or submitted a grant

application. It is expected that these societies, such as Brain Research, Racing, Karting,

Environmental and Astonomy and Space will be soon de-recognised.

All of these societies are excluded

from the list, as are the societies of sister colleges CICE and Froebel.

The CSC’s Term General Meeting

will be held on January 31st.

Society

Membership

Grant, €

Per Member,€

Society

Membership

Grant, €

Per Member, €

Afro Caribbean AIESEC Amnesty Int’l Anarchist Archaeological Biochemical Biological Capoeira Caledonian Card & Bridge Chapel Choir Chess Chinese Students Choral Christian Union Classical Comedy Computer Science Cumann Gaelach Dance Dental Digital Arts DUBES DUPSA DURNS Early Irish ELSA Entrepreneurial Europa Fianna Fáil Film-makers Fine Gael FLAC Food & Drink Gamers Genetical Geographical Green Historical History Internet Japanese Jazz

229 80 312 53 65 159 500 85 109 450 187 86 90 153 189 78 154 141 554 489 92 126 934 252 379 74 123 150 170 154 229 191 224 555 208 110 186 174 1852 167 500 30 375

1800 1400 1200 450 2000 3200 2500 900 1200 1500 4100 1300 500 4600 3500 1400 450 1200 3000 2800 1800 600 1200 500 1000 500 800 1200 500 1800 5500 2000 900 1500 3800 800 2500 1000 9300 3500 2000 300 3400

7.86 17.5 3.85 8.49 30.77 20.13 5.00 10.59 11.01 3.33 21.93 15.12 5.56 30.07 18.52 17.95 2.92 8.51 5.42 5.73 19.57 4.76 1.28 1.98 2.64 6.76 6.50 8.00 2.94 11.69 24.02 10.47 4.02 2.70 18.27 7.27 13.44 5.75 5.02 20.96 4.00 10.00 9.07

Jewish Joly Geological Juggling Labour Law LGBT Literary M’mnt Science Mathematical Mature Students Meditation Metaphysical Microbiological Mod Lang Music Muslim Student Nursing One World Orchestral Paintball Peer Support Philosophical Photographic Physical Players Politics PD’s Psychology Science Fiction Sign Language Singers St Vincent de Paul SUAS Socialist Workers Theological Therapy Trad Irish Music T.A.W. Trinity F.M. Visual Arts Werner Chemical Yoga Zoological

65 177 100 79 589 240 190 80 232 238 45 145 87 352 248 95 220 450 136 436 50 3697 250 330 700 113 60 119 850 75 90 4132 419 33 132 267 275 169 275 134 246 700 137

250 1500 1200 1500 2300 2000 2000 500 1750 1600 500 2100 600 700 1700 1300 700 3000 5300 1500 900 10700 4000 2000 10500 800 450 1400 1000 634 2200 6500 1000 1300 1000 400 1000 2000 2000 1300 666 500 1000

3.85 8.47 12.00 18.99 3.90 8.33 10.53 6.25 7.54 6.72 11.11 14.48 6.90 1.99 6.85 13.68 3.18 6.67 38.97 3.44 18.00 2.89 16.00 6.06 15.00 7.08 7.50 11.76 1.18 8.45 24.44 1.57 2.39 39.39 7.58 1.50 3.64 11.83 7.27 9.70 2.71 0.71 7.30

Totals:

28875

170650

-

Averages:

335.76

1984.30

5.91

Archive: Blasts from the Past Election banter starts as potential

candidates bicker at SU Council Christine Bohan

As the SU elections draw near, Trinity News takes a look back to some of our SU Alumni...

John Mannion is becoming like the Gay Byrne of the Students’ Union. At the final Council last year he gave away an iPod nano to one lucky class rep, drawn at random. For last week’s Council he gave out Eddie Rocket’s vouchers to everyone in the audience. Well, all the class reps anyway. And not just one either. Every rep got 50 vouchers to give to their classmates, with the names and contact details of the five sabbat officers on the back of them (perhaps to remind people not to bite the hand that feeds them?)

Giving things out works well for several reasons.

Reps are more likely to attend Council if they know there’s a chance they might get something free (and of course the chance to serve the democratic process...). This means quorum isn’t lost and all the business on the agenda can be gotten through. It’s a tangible sign of the work the officers are doing - whilst it’s mainly class reps who will appreciate the hard graft that the officers are putting in, the vouchers were an effective gestures in making sure all the other students in the college know that they’re there, working for them. And of course, who’s going to turn down free food? John sat down

to chants of ‘Four More Years!’ from appreciative reps.

It happened at the start of Council, right after the nastiest motion of the evening. It alleged that the Chair of Council, David Quinn, had acted impartialy and influenced the decision of the Electoral Commission when they made an important decision at the previous Council and should therefore make a full apology.

The motion had some back-

towards the back of the Hall.

Gary Dillon spoke again, as outraged as he’s ever been: “Vote for me, vote against me, but God help me, I know that there is a problem with this Chair... I favour no-one, I FEAR NO-ONE!”.

The motion was defeated.

The SU don’t like it when we mention the Wands and Sceptres Committee because they think it trivialises

“John sat down to chants of ‘Four More Years!’ from appreciative reps” ground. It’s no secret that Quinn plans to run for SU President, and there were rumours circulating for several days before Council that one of his opponents had asked two reps to bring forward this motion, in an attempt to discredit his opponent.

Gary Dillon, the proposer of the motion vehemently denied this. As he pointed out, he’s been bringing several motions to every Council, pointing out clearly problems that he had with any perceived wrong-doings, and didn’t need someone to pull his strings, as it were. A number of members of the SU Executive got up to speak to defend Quinn. David himself called it a ‘dirty political tactic’ and was greeted with heckles from a small but very vocal number of reps sitting

all the work that the Union does. And they’re right. But this is an objective(ish) report and so, the election to the W&S Committee saw 11 nominations for the five positions.

Unusually, the Chair deigned not to hear speeches, and so the decision was made solely on the popularity of each of the reps.

There were several worthy motions which failed to spark any debate. It was proposed that the SU opposes any attempt to introduce fees in the Student Health Centre. Passed.

That the SU lobby to stop franchises like O’Brien’s and Starbucks from opening up on campus. Passed. (Bit surpised by that one, judging by the amount of students who frequent these places outside of campus). That Goldsmith Hall

is badly equipped and should be better. Also passed.

A motion that the SU campaign to have the Rainbow flag flown over Front Arch during rainbow week was presented by Ronan Hodson, the LGBT Rights Officer and possibly the best-dressed man I’ve ever seen at Council during my four years as a class rep. John Mannion spoke against the motion, somewhat unwillingly - he acknowledged immediately that the motion was going to pass but that it could make things difficult for him, as he also has to lobby to get the tricolour flown and it’ll be difficult to get both. Stephanie O’Brien, the Welfare Officer spoke in favour and then another class rep got up to speak against. He started out well, quite rational really.

Unfortunately, it got worse. He tried to sit on the fence. He failed. He ended his speech with: “This will make Trinity a laughing stock”. He wasn’t applauded when he sat down.

The motion was passed.

It was a good Council - there was a lot of participation from reps who hadn’t spoken before which was good to see.

There was also a lot of talking from people who are planning on running for election in the next couple of weeks - same old, same old.

Comment & Opinion Editor: Patricia Van De Velde

Trinity News

COMMENT&OPINION Tuesday January 24th, 2005

19

Russian Roulette Out of left-field

Religion seems to be coming with an ultimatum. But Críostóir Redmond would rather dance with the devil, and see good without God. Or does he?

I was walking down Henry Street towards O'Connell Street. I had been minding my own business shoe shopping or something like that. I came to the corner by the GPO where old men try to convert the public by drawing funny pictures which give some sort of moral guidance. I always just pass.

I never give a second look. When suddenly this dour faced man started pontificating on the evils of sex “Abstinence”, “God help you”,

I never go back...but I did. I walked back to the old man and handed him his piece of paper.

The moment I opened my mouth and, quite meekly, said “your leaflet is dangerous and has no basis in fact”, I regretted it. I tried to reason with the man. I tried to give him some facts and statistics.

He would not let me get a word in edgeways. He kept barking over anything I said with mindless one liner's. I would start to say “well, in

“I had let my guard down for one second and there I was ranting at an old man who was ranting on a street corner.” “sinners”, “God loves you”, it went on and on like a stream of consciousness. It made no sense to me but then again I could be missing something, each to their own, sure isn't that the way?

I always walk by...but he shoved a leaflet into my hand, which I would have thrown into the nearest bin only I couldn't find one, Dublin corporation where are you when one needs you? I had pangs of guilt, what a waste of paper, the trees, what about the trees!? I could feel the oxygen being depleted as I walked paper in hand. Out of courtesy to whatever poor tree that had been felled in order to make the paper which this man had used, I took a look.

It was a haphazard, amateurish document. On it were some words which I skimmed over and a diagram of some sort, I couldn’t figure it out. It looked, for all the world, like a little worm and some flowers...or something. I had to go back to read the text to make any sense of it at all.

It explained how a sperm is so much larger (that would be the worm then) than any virus (those would be his little friends). It went on to say that these little friends were so itty-bitty that they could pass through a condom, leaving spermy all awone inside. God loves you it you don’t have sex. If you do, you will die, so there is no point in using a condom. Just DON'T HAVE SEX! Right, it’s not all bad I suppose. If we were all celibate until married, never ever had the urge to have sex unless we were in love, and if we all had the will power of I dunno wha...Then condoms would be bad, of course! I mean, for a start we would probably be using them as part of a novel party trick, or for the washing up, but who wants to use fingerless gloves to do the washing up!?

Spain a study was carried out on 135 heterosexual couples with mixed status, where usually the man was HIV positive. Over 10 years an account was kept of their sexual activities, not once had HIV been passed on. They had used condoms”. Of course it didn’t come out like that, above my voice was a stream of “Russian roulette”, “Gods hands”, “the devils way” etc. etc. You get the idea.

I tried to reason with him. I became more and more flustered and irate, until we came to a climax, a crescendo of “get your facts straight” and “sinners are dancing with the devil”. I turned and walked away, noticing how a group of passers-by had congregated to watch this spectacle. I felt somewhat embarrassed. Rats! I had let my guard down for one second and there I was ranting at an old man who was ranting on a street corner. I have learnt my lesson and in the wise words of a friend of mine, “one really should show a little more decorum”.

The thing that passed me by during all this was that this man was, well, religious. He was preaching on the street for our good, in the name of Christ almighty (does “almighty” get a capital ‘A’?). So is that what it means to be religious? Is it going to mass, praying to God, Allah, Buddha, whoever? Is it standing on street corners pushing God's love (“c’mere, have ye got any a God’s love?”)? “...but what about all the good stuff that religious people have done? The schools and hospitals in Africa, how will they ever educate themselves without religious groups? Who is going to look after them when they are sick?” I hear the religious hordes cry.

Well excuse me if I scoff at this. I know it has been said many times before! At the risk of

Europe used to be proud of its left, but Nick Kelly is not that impressed. Is Europe’s left becoming more like America’s?

I’ve just returned from the US, where the Democratic Party’s slide into inconsequence would be funny if it weren’t so sad. Even with Bush’s approval rating below 50%, the left has been unable to successfully oppose a far-right idealogue’s nomination to the Supreme Court, a man who, as part of the Reagan administration formulated a strategy to re-criminalize abortion.

Nor could it convince the American public that domestic wiretapping is a dangerous contravention of the Constitution. And the bold new strategy to break out of this pit of irrelevance? Wait till 2008 and run a Clinton for president, the unpleasant one this time.

“Why is the left doomed to react, criticize and protest instead of leading?

You don’t need to be in power to present and promote new ideas...”

So, back in Europe, have I been rubbing and blinking my eyes and basking in the brilliant light of a progressive society, shining with new ideas and growing equality? Hardly. A quick glance across the major players: Britain is helmed by W’s prayer group buddy, who has succeeded the Clinton way—co-opting ideas from the center-right and seasoning them a bit to be more palatable to the center-left.

In France, the biggest impact of the riots has been the

increased popularity of Nicolas Sarkozy, the government minister who called the rioters “scum.”

Germany has a rightwing prime minister replace Schroeder, who retires to a cushy job with the consortium in charge of a Russian-German gas pipeline.

The EU is stuttering after failing to get a Constitutional treaty passed.

And the Kyoto Treaty, perhaps the biggest recent accomplishment of the left, has not been (and most likely will not be) ratified by China, India or the US. Why is the left doomed to react, criticize and protest instead of leading? You don’t need to be in power to present and promote new ideas…in fact, that’s how you get into power.

Over the past decades, the American right-wing, feeling besieged by the liberal media and academia established think-tanks, privately funded quasi-academic centers of study, which have been paying off now with new ideas and the confidence to try and change the world.

Liberals, from their supposed position of power in the University (which, despite an obsession with diversity, are too politically homogeneous for productive debate) are not interested in changing the world. Their energy is devoted to puzzling out societies’ concepts of what the world is, and deconstructing how scholars examine how societies conceptiualize the world, all the while with an arch eyebrow raised at those who would use the terms “change” and “the world” without ensconcing them in quotation marks and qualifications.

Postmodernism and its

accompanying disposition, irony, need not be so paralyzingly parasitic and self obsessed.

Irony can just be snarky comments shot sideways when confronted by the embarrassingly sincere, but it can also be an effec-

Liberals, from their supposed position of power in the University are not interested in changing the world. tive way to address serious topics without being stuffy or sententious.

Film writer-director Todd Solondz (Welcome to the Dollhouse, Happiness, Storytelling, Palindromes) makes brilliant use of dark humor to keep the viewer engaged while watching and the ideas in his or her head long after the film is over.

Solondz deals with child molestation, teen pregnancy and interracial sexual concerns, among other issues with an ironic coolness that distances the viewer just enough to consider the subject matter without the usual cultural clutter.

Postmodernism needn’t trap a thinker in a hall of mirrors, generating a million new images of images, a million new questions of questions. Its subversive, stimulating qualities should lead to creative destruction—as the movement’s forefather Friedrich Nietzsche imagined—instead of just destruction. If society is a construct, why can’t we convince people to construct a better one?

God is back on the streets. being accused of sounding clichéd.

There is that little issue of the Catholic Church preaching abstinence in Africa, telling poor souls not to sin by using condoms and we all know how well that is working over there. Only too well.

I am not here to write a polemic, but why oh why do all things that religious groups do for “good” come with an ultimatum?

Where is the altruism? Wherever you find religious groups helping, you will get a sense of conversion, pray with us, assimilate and you will be ok. Homogenisation of the masses that is what religious leaders want. I don’t blame religion. Of course not! I blame religious peo-

ple who twist and pervert religion and belief. Without religious people there would be no religion.

Why can we not put the good that has, is, and can be done by people for other people down to the power of the human spirit, humanity even?

But no! I am not mindlessly ripping something to shreds because I may have read a good article, heard a religious leader say it, or have seen it “on de telly”. I, for one, like to make informed and rational decisions for myself. Does this sound pompous!? No! Not pompous! It sounds like common sense to me.

Blair is leaning to the left. But it’s hard to see what’s on the left these days.

Power: For Dummies

Derek Owens’ fortnightly update on the seizing of power from the great unwashed. He returns this after an absemce with ‘The Fear Factor’

The Big Mac is back...

Every day brings another naysayer. Well, the same nay-sayer to be precise. After having his faulty logic (and eating habits) exposed in a previous column, a certain friend, after being adamantly opposed to orchestrating the campaigns of five puppets for the Student Union elections (the power: for dummies project,) simply stopped talking about it. Until last week. Turning to me with a self-satisfied grin, he asked me just how Power: For dummies was going.

It’s impossible to properly describe the smugness of his deliv-

ery. My friend knows full well that since (foolishly) making the Power: For dummies project as public as possible, I am about as popular among would-be election candidates as a leper, charity-mugger, or an imported Turkish chicken.

I started blustering that, though there hasn’t exactly been a fantastic response (the confirmed readership of this column is roughly four people, and that includes my editor) the basic theory is sound.

“Rubbish” “What do you mean?”

“Well, all this Machiavelli stuff…

This is where cordial relations broke down. I set off on a robust defence of the ‘Big Mac’ (causing a bit of a scene in Eddie Rocket’s) only to be interrupted again: “But all his ‘better to be feared than loved’ advice is just outdated! It just doesn’t apply nowadays.”

It’s probably for the best that he cut in there; the door staff looked uneasy at the presence of an intoxicated political firebrand, and the comment made me calm down and think. Superficially, of course, he’sright – if people are afraid of you, they’re not likely to vote for you.

When you give Machiavelli the benefit of the doubt, though, you see his advice is just as useful today.

more powerful factor in peoples decision making than gratitude, or fondness. Memories don’t stuff ballot boxes; expectations do. In any election, you vote for the person who either promises the most, or scares you the least. You can win elections by promising the world, or convincing everyone that your opponent is capable of destroying it. The first tactic can work, but people expect you to deliver on at least some of your commitments; the latter carries no such weight of obligation.

This is why negative campaigning is so attractive to political professionals, and will always be with us. More responsible folk (quite rightly) complain that it’s crude, lazy and often disgusting but only

“They won because Tory leader Michael Howard really does have something of the night about him” The reasoning behind the glib ‘better feared than loved’ line wasn’t just that if annoying people are afraid of you, they’re less likely to bother you; the big Mac realised that fear of the future was a much

rarely dispute the crucial point: It works. Those that do are wishful thinkers, ignoring the facts.

For proof, just look at the last three significant elections in the English-speaking world. Across the

channel, Labour didn’t best the Tories in 2005 by their record of invading Middle Eastern countries, chipping away at civil liberties and pumping impressive sums of money into public services with less impressive results. They won because Tory leader Michael Howard really does have something of the night about him, because a particularly nutty Conservative mentioned that £20 Billion could be pulled from public services, and because a masterful negative campaign blitz linked a Conservative future with the Thatcherite past.

The U.S. Presidential election was another example of negative campaigning bringing positive results. While John Kerry heeded the well meaning, self-deluding analysts who held that relentless positivity was the way to the White House, the Bush machine successfully made Kerry look like a dishonest, careerist, flip-flopping jelly man by mid-September..

It was only in October, when Kerry started putting the boot in to Bush’s appalling record in office, that he started to make serious inroads into his opponent’s

lead. He’d left it too late though, and thrown away an election thought unlosable a year before.

The rest, as they say, is catastrophe.

And then there’s our last general election, where fear ruled

“if annoying people are afraid of you they’re less likely to bother you” supreme. Fine Gael promised anything they could to anyone who’d listen, only to be annihilated. It wasn’t that Fianna Fáil ‘bought the election’ as some muttered (though a giveaway budget did help) but the sheer ineptitude of Michael Noonan’s merry band.

A quick scan of Fine Gael’s front bench, and a thought of what havoc they could wreak in office, was enough to make a hardened blueshirt think twice.

Meanwhile, the PD’s were the only ones who successfully exploited the public’s morbid fear of Fianna Fáil in government alone: With polls showing that a majority even of Fianna Fáil voters favoured a coalition government to one-party

rule, the PD’s launched their ‘one party government or us’ campaign.

The ploy, entirely dependent on a deep-seeded fear among the electorate, swung at least two crucial seats their way.

The responsible folk’s complaints are valid: In the long-term, negative campaigning turns people off mainstream politics and is corrosive to democracy. But in the long term, cows are some of the greatest producers of greenhouse gases. We still love our doublegreaseburgers. Because beef, and political success, tastes good now.

And there will always be people for whom that is the only consideration. For them, fear is as effective as any political tool. Machiavelli’s line may need translation for the modern age (‘better your opponent be feared than you be loved’) but the thinking behind it is as truthful today as it ever was.

Loathe as some people are to admit it, the Big Mac is still the man. If the Power: For Dummies project is to overcome incompetence, apathy, and all the other obstacles in the way, I’m going to need his help.

COMMENT&OPINION

20

Tuesday January 24th, 2005

Redefining Consent

Rape has always been a crime. But in recent court cases there seems to be confusion as to what exactly rape is.Ruth Patten examines the appaling double standards that are crippling the justice system.

On the 24th of November 2005 a UK rape case involving a university security guard escorting a student back to her rooms, was withdrawn after the girl admitted under cross-examination that she was too drunk to remember if she had given consent.

Prosecution lawyers dropped the case because “drunken consent is still consent” and the judge instructed the jury to bring a not guilty verdict “even if you don’t agree”.

The case was made public when a press release from Vera Baird Q.C, MP for Redcar condemned the judge for disregarding the Sexual Offence Act, made law in 2003. In Section 74 of the Sexual Offence Act it is the remit of the defendant to prove that they thought the victim was conscious before and while having sex. This Act was originally brought in to protect both men and women from having sex forced on them.

According to the MP’s press release, the girl had consumed a small amount of alcohol and felt ill. Like many universities in Great Britain the University of Aberystwyth in Wales has a policy that a security guard will on request accompany a student back to their residence on campus after hours.

The policy was put in place in order for the students to be protected on the open campus late at night.

On this occasion the student was walked home by a security guard who had sex with her outside her house, “she said she had passed out, woken up briefly aware

that something was happening, and passed out again.” The press statement goes on to state “Section 74 of the 2003 Sexual Offences Act makes crystal clear that a person can only consent to sex if they agree by choice and have the freedom and capacity to make that choice. How does an unconscious woman have that capacity?”

An Amnesty International survey of 1,000 Britons found that 28% of people believe that if a woman is flirtatious she partially responsible if she is raped. Shockingly, 6% felt she would be totally responsible. A

people face to face for support and counselling in 2004. The numbers do not match.

In a UK survey in More Magazine 23 per cent of women said they believed that their drinks have been spiked in the past. Only one in twenty women felt safe walking the streets alone. While this survey was more anecdotal and its facts less easily proven than the others, its numbers show an increased awareness of the dangers faced by women if they wish to socialise in bars or clubs at night.

It is a brutal irony that the more the public are made aware

“Only 6% of reported rapes get convictions and it is not known how many women do not even bother reporting their sexual assault to the authorities.” similar percentage said she would be likewise partially responsible if she were wearing revealing clothing.

There were over 12,000 reported rapes in Britain in 2004/2005. Only 6% of reported rapes get convictions and it is not known how many women do not even bother reporting their sexual assault to the authorities. In Ireland the figure is drastically different, with 65 reported rapes in the Irish Republic in 2004.

However according to the National Rape Crisis Statistics 2004, the 15 Irish Rape Crisis centres received 45,000 calls and saw over 2,200

of the dangers to women from those who would prey on them while vulnerable due to alcohol, the more women are held responsible for the crimes committed against them. Frequently on the Trinity campus are posters for parties where women are fully expected to dress appropriately for the theme. If they do so are we to believe that they are going to be actively encouraging their own rape?

Everyday we all see advertisements on billboards, magazines and our television screens promoting the consumption of alcohol to both women and men,

should these same glossy P.R. exercises carry a health warning?

Should posters around college campuses warn female students that attending a “Gangster & Hos”, “Jocks & Cheerleaders” or “School Disco” party attired in the themed costume could lead to an assault?

If people believe women who dress sexily are asking to be raped then should responsible student societies or even the Students’ Union organise and advertise these events?

Without doubt, such a draconian measure would seem unfair on the societies and the students, male and female, who enjoy attending such activities, but what can be done to change the society that leaves women facing a Catch 22. If a woman acts in the manner she is expected to, she leaves herself open to assault.

With this particular case, Vera Baird MP has requested the Lord Chancellor investigate the Judge’s behaviour and the case may be reviewed. The prosecution lawyers and judge -all male- disregarded the Sexual Offence Act in favour of their own opinions, which were parallel to the attitudes of roughly one third of the British public. Or perhaps they were simply untrained in the new law and may not have understood it.

However, whatever the reason, the misinterpretation of this important law can only bring further suffering to the legitimate victims of sexual assault.

Comment & Opinion Editor: Patricia Van De Velde

Trinity News

Poker Time Poker is back as an acceptable pastime. However, real winners are still few and far between. Dave O’Callaghan goes through what it really takes.

Poker has come a long way in the past few years. The advent of televised poker, in the form of shows such as ‘The World Series of Poker’ and ‘The World Poker Tour’, has done a lot to change the public’s perception of the game.

It’s no longer seen as seedy, played by mobsters and degenerates in smoky pool halls, but more as an acceptable social past time; something to do rather than going to the pub.

Trinity, U.C.D. and D.I.T. all run hugely successful card clubs, and hold regular tournaments with entry fees for as little as €5 to cater for the poor student’s meagre bankroll. Over the past two years several new card clubs have opened up in Dublin, Cork, Galway, Waterford, Killarney and Belfast. The majority of people that frequent these places hold down successful jobs, and often you will find doctors, lawyers and dentists at the table.

In fact Ireland’s three most successful poker players, Donnacha O’Dea, Andrew Black and Padraig Parkinson, who between them have won over €3m, are all graduates of our very own Trinity College. But what does this new found respectability mean for poker, and is it perhaps misleading some people about what can in fact be a very dangerous game?

The fact of the matter is that despite being an extremely

skilful, social, and enjoyable game, most players are losing money.

This is not something that most people will admit to, and a brief survey of players would probably find that about 70% to 80% claim to be winners. However statistics released by online casinos have shown that in fact only between 5% and 15% of online poker players actually turn a profit..

“What winning poker players all have in common is strict self discipline.”

Television chooses to gloss over this side of the game om favour of entertainment value, but the reality is that for each of those people you see scooping some seven figure prize pool, there were probably two hundred odd people down $10,000 or more for the day, many of whom really couldn’t afford to lose that amount of money.

In the poker world these players are referred to as ‘donators’, and they are essential for the poker economy to keep growing.

The problem is that the majority of aspiring players don’t see this side of things, and begin playing poker with the naïve attitude that they are too good or too

smart to lose money. It is this naivety that proves to be the downfall of most inexperienced and beginning poker players. Not to be aware of the dangers of the game will almost certainly result in the loss of a lot of money. Things can very quickly spiral out of control, and it is possible to lose thousands in a matter of minutes at the higher levels.

What winning poker players all have in common is strict self discipline. While a good knowledge of psychology and probability can be extremely helpful, any professional poker player will tell you that these skills pale in comparison to the importance of discipline and self control. It’s no coincidence that Padraig Parkinson, Andrew Black and Donnacha O’Dea all obtained college degrees. They all had the drive, determination and self discipline to do so, and it is for these reasons that they are successful at poker also.

So if you’re planning on taking up poker, or even if you have done so already, don’t be overawed by what you see on television. Always bear in mind that despite being an extremely skilled game, it is also extremely dangerous. Being aware of this at all times is the single most important factor in determining whether you will be a winning poker player or a donator.

Today’s ‘Cult of Speed’ Jean Devlin takes a look a society’s obsesssion with fast everything, and prescribes a philosophy of slow: a healthier life takes a step back to enjoy itself.

Ireland has one of the worst records in Europe for deaths in road accidents – 528 lives were lost in 2004 and the figure for last year is even higher. The biggest killer : speed.

Whether it’s working parents rushing to pick up their child from the creche before six, or the Minister of Sport striving to make it to Dublin for a cabinet meeting, the need to speed applies to everyone. And it’s not only on the roads that speed has become such a hazard. It is a feature of modern life. Not only do we want faster cars ; we want faster computers, faster music, faster food.

In the rush of today’s world it is easy to lose the art of slowness, and arguably, most of us have. Recently however, a number of well-respected writers and journalists have documented the revival of slowness in a society where time is money and money is paramount.

Food was one of the first areas to speed up, with the introduction of commercial farming, chemical fertilisers and pesticides, growth hormones, and more recently genetic modification. With McDonalds and other such chains the fast food phenomenon swept throughout the world, promising tasty food ready in minutes. As life got faster people rushed to replicate the convenience of fast food at home, and so microwave meals and prewashed salads have cut preparation time for meals. So has the time taken to consume them - the average meal in McDonalds lasts no longer than eleven minutes, and the concept of a family meal has almost disappeared with the strain of different schedules dictating mealtimes. The average British family actually spends more time together in the car than they do around the dinner table!

The backlash against the

Galloping Death So what does it mean to be ‘slow’? It doesn’t have to mean doing everything at a snail’s pace.

According to Carl Honoré, author of “In Praise of Slow” it’s a frame of mind; remaining calm and unflustered even when circumstances force us to speed up. We can consider it an art to be revived in all areas of life – the kitchen, the workplace, the doctor’s office and the bedroom.

Since the Industrial Revolution speed and efficiency have become a dogma infusing all areas of life. Measuring time accurately became crucial and a major step towards the global standardisation of time came in 1884 when twenty-seven nations agreed to recognise Greenwich as the prime meridian, and time became a commodity.

fast food hegemony started in Italy in the late Eighties when Mc Donalds opened a branch at the Spanish Steps in Rome, sparking the foundation of the Slow Food movement. It aims to promote the exact opposite of what McDonalds is about – fresh, local, seasonal produce; artisanal production; recipes passed down through generations; sustainable farming and leisurely dining.

Since its foundation Slow Food has built up a membership of 78,000 in over fifty countries, and the values it promulgates are appreciated and practised by many more. The recent television series by Jamie Oliver in which he rehauls the school dinner system in English schools is just the latest in a stream of programmes by celebrity chefs pulling in considerable rat-

ings.

Another area in which people are starting to slow down is the workplace, although of the American capitalist model which encourages workaholism is still dominant in most sectors.

Nonetheless, more and more peo-

80% of pain clinics offer acupuncture. CAM’s slow approach is to let the body heal itself, through gentle holistic care, as opposed to the tendency of many GPs to reach for their prescription pad at every consultation, effectively just throwing drugs at the symptoms rather than

“The central tenet of the slow philosophy is pleasure- taking the time to do things properly means we enjoy them more. This is perhaps nowhere more true than in the bedroom.” ple are opting to job-share instead of working full-time, for example.

Even in Japan, whose fearsome work ethic astonished the world in the Eighties and Nineties, slowness is making a comeback. New legislation on jobsharing and reduced working hours has been introduced, and pundits talk of a new generation of fureeta, a fusion of the English ‘free’ and the German ‘arbeiter’ (worker).

Working less can make people more productive as they have more time to relax, which is key to reflection and creative thinking. They have more time for family, friends and leisure activities.

Among the latter slow hobbies, like yoga, tai chi and even plain old knitting are becoming increasingly popular. The benefit is not only psychological, but also physical; stress is the most common cause of insomnia, preventing the deep sleep essential to cell regeneration that bolsters the immune system and boosts the metabolism.

Slowing down is often the best medicine for stress-related ailments, and is a common advisement given by practitioners of alternative therapies to their patients. From acupuncture to reiki, and homeopathy to massage therapy, the growth of complementary and alternative medicine (CAM) has been phenomenal in recent years, with celebrity adherents such as Gwyneth Paltrow and Madonna giving the movement a high media profile.

The world of conventional medicine is conscious of the significants benefits, whether psychosomatic or real, and is making attempts to integrate both approaches into national health systems. In Germany, for instance,

treating the often complex cause.

The central tenet of the slow philosophy is pleasure – taking the time to do things properly means we enjoy them more. This is perhaps nowhere more true than in the bedroom, where the strains of modern life and hectic schedules militate against hours of, as Woody Allen would say, the most fun you can have without laughing. Sex is an important part of healthy living – Oprah’s Dr. Phil recommends three sessions of love-making a week as a way to keep fit.

But quality is just as important as quantity, and the Tantra movement, memorably endorsed by Sting, is about slowing down and getting more than a drunken fumble in the dark. Tantric workshops have sprung up all over where couples or singletons can go to spend a weekend of learning to improve their sensuality. And according to those who’ve tried it, it’s worth the effort!

Challenging the cult of speed in society isn’t simple but it can be very rewarding. It doesn’t have to mean drastic changes – it can be as simple as making your own soup from scratch instead of buying an over-priced instant Cup of Soup sachet, or going for a leisurely coffee and chatting with friends instead of maxing your credit card buying things you don’t really need.

On a more general level, a slower society delivers more of the things that truly make us happy, things that cannot be measured by economic proxy – good health, better relationships, strong communities and a cleaner environment. The urge to accelerate is still strong, but slowness is catching up.

Lust in Translation Words can be confusing. Especially ones that are used negatively. And in relation to sex. Ethel Harness sets the record strait on the term of slut.

These days many words crop up in our every day vocabulary whose meanings can be nebulous and ambiguous. Slut is one of those words. To be specific it is necessary for me to establish that a slut can only be a female. It can be used quite casually to designate a girl who has a nicer coat or perfect hair.

But generally slut is used to define a girl who is loose with her sexual favours and who demands no pecuniary reparations for sex.

I find that more and more I disagree with this definition of the word, which is why in this piece I will examine two very different conceptions of a slut.

The first one is indeed the afore mentioned which I call Sluts of the Flesh. These girls are not led by reason but by the Passions of the flesh. This is perhaps evil and immoral but I have it on good authority that this is quite the lesser of many Evils in this world. The intellect and brain is not used in these cases so we cannot accuse these girls of deviousness or cunning.

The second type of slut I will elaborate more on as this one is relatively unknown to the world at large. They are what I call Emo Sluts (or Soul Slappers). They parade around having just as much sexual intercourse as a regular slut but they not only give their bodies they also throw in their emotions.

Some may call it a bonus; I call it very fine print. I believe that the matters of the soul are tenfold more valuable than any favours of the flesh and that what these girls give away so easily is so precious (and what is more should

be earned and not just taken for granted) that it is a travesty of relationships. Of course I am not calling sluts the girls who genuinely like their other halves. The word slut is derogatory mainly because it designates someone who doesn’t really value themselves because they give away their intimacy so easily. Who can like or value someone who doesn’t value themselves?

Sluts of the Flesh will give away their bodies and enjoy the process thoroughly, whereas the Soul Slappers will not only give away their bodies but they will also give away their feelings. They are letting outsiders into their inner psyche and so they may perhaps have enjoyed the sex but more often than not they will eventually

get crushed, stamped, trodden, carved and flattened (I really do not mean to sound pessimistic or bitter).

As their pathetic soul selling life will continue they will fall into the habit of saying words without meaning. Their feelings will be so used and reused that when they express their emotions they will carry no significance and they will end up bitter and empty They will have not only given up their bodies for sinful pleasures but they will have lost their spirit as well. So a well meaning piece of advice to all females: build up those inner defences and think three times before you let anyone in. Oh, and always use protection.

Comments, Tips, Hate-mail to: vandevep@tcd.ie. Please feel free to send comment or opinion articles to the same address.

All views expressed in the Comment & Opinion section are those of the authors of the individual articles and not those of Trinity News

Tuesday January 24th, 2006

Trinity News Trinity News EST. 1947

LETTERS Scrapping of Schol. and Selling of MA Sir,

Election Time is Back The rumour mill has started back up meaning it can only be one time of year. The Students’ Union elections are rolling back around and as usual there are a whole host of names being bandied about as possible successors to John Mannion and co.

While the elections may be of limited interest to some students they are an event all should take an interest in. For anyone considering running for election I offer nothing but encouragement.

Running for election is one of the most interesting and memorable experiences you can have in your time in Trinity. From speaking in front of classes of hundreds of people to speaking in the rain on the Dining Hall steps, an election campaign will leave you with many fond memories even if you’re not succesful. If you are succesful you’ll get the chance to prove whether your claims you could do a better job than the encumbents are true or not.

Amongst all the hype it cannot be forgotten however that a student has died in the past week of a heart attack while on campus. While all the possible medical available was surely given to them, the matter raises the question of portable defibrillators. A possible campaign for SU present and future to address could be asking college to provide portable defibrillators in major areas around campus such as the Dining Hall, the Arts Block, and the Hamilton. While we all obviously hope that we will never see another heart attack on campus, anything that could increase the chances of survival in such an emergency would surely be worthwhile and show all the good work the SU can do.

Icarus Editor Wanted Trinity Publications is looking for a new editor for its Literary Publication Icarus Icarus won Magazine of the Year at the 2005 National Student Media Awards and the position of editor is open to all Trinity students

For more information contact mckennak@tcd.ie

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I am grateful to 'Trinity News' (and John Lavelle and Jonathan Drennan) for publishing the proposal to scrap the Scholarship Examination (the first time I have heard of such a retrograde proposal)and examining the status of the Trinity MA. The common denominator, it seems, is the placing of financial matters above scholarly ones. Let me say that I am proud of our present scholars as I am proud of the scholars of the past, including in their number Edmund Burke who won Scholarship in 1746.

Very best wishes, Gerald Morgan FTCD (1993)

Trinity MA Sir, In relation to the issue of the University of Dublin ‘’selling’ the Master in Arts degree I wish to clarify a number of points. The MA degree is a historic institution within this historic university and proposals to scrap it are disrespectful to the traditions of the university. Deputy Olwen Enright (FG) seems to claim it gives graduates an unfair advantage over graduates of the other universities who must work for a post-graduate MA, however it is the other universities that are incorrect to award the MA as a post-graduate degree. The historical background to the award of the degree is that traditionally a degree in the liberal arts took 7 years to complete. The end of the period of study was marked by awarding of an MA to signify that the graduate had received the license to teach in the college. No examination was required before inception as a Master in Arts, the candidate already having been tested for the conferring of the BA. The degree traditionally bestowed full membership rights of the University Senate upon the graduate, with the right to vote in elections. In Trinity an MA continues to outrank all other degrees, except Doctors of Divinity and Common Law. I would argue that the other universities are incorrect in the manner that they award the MA. Trinity distinguishes between the MA and the Master in Philosophy, which is broadly similar to, for example, the UCD MA. It would appear that, looking at the MA in its historical context, that Oxford, Cambridge and Dublin are correct in how they award the degree and that the other Irish universities offering the MA as a postgraduate degree are wrong to do so. They should either adopt a similar procedure of awarding the MA 7 years following matriculation or

discontinue it as a postgraduate degree.

not so much ‘boycott us,’ then, as ‘boycott them.’

Yours etc.,

Yours etc.,

Eimhin J. Walsh Junior Freshman, History & Theology

Joshua Edelman Chair, TCD Jewish Society

Portrayal of Israel

Sir, Sir, Hugh Harkin (“Boycott Israel’s Apartheid, Trinity News 15th Nov) certainly has the right to his opinions about Israel, but trying to defend them, his article makes a number of objectively false claims that require refutation.

His claim that “Israel has full and complete control over the entire biblical land between the Mediterranean and the Jordan river” is one that many Palestinians, including of course the Palestinian Authority (P.A.) itself, would dispute. He seems to ignore the recent Israeli pullout from the whole of Gaza, a milestone unthinkable a few years back. Perhaps more cynically, if Israel did in fact have the control Mr Harkin assumes, organized suicide bombing campaigns against Israeli civilians would have stopped. Sadly, they have not.

I wish to say something about the square root of 121 question in the “Is our children learning?” article.

Yes I agree that a smart alek would state +/- 11. But an intelligent person would say 11 as the square root of a number is always positive. Only in algebraic equations e.g. x squared = 121 => x = +/- 11 are there positive and negative answers.

Otherwise, congratulations on publishing such a entertaining newspaper!

Junior Freshman law student

Wands and Sceptres Article

Finally, his claim that Prof. Ilan Pappe of the University of Haifa, “like many other Israelis, is screaming ‘boycott us!’” requires serious clarification. I’m not sure who these unnamed ‘others’ are, but certainly they, like Pappe, are not actually asking to be boycotted. Prof Pappe’s acceptance of Mr Harkin’s invitation to come speak at Trinity — a right the boycott would deny to his colleagues at Haifa, Arab and Jewish alike — shows that he sees himself as an exception to his own proposal. The scream is

&

Corrections Clarifications

Andrew Payne trinity.news@tcd.ie Deputy Editor: Jonathan Drennan drennajw@tcd.ie TNT Editor: Christine Bohan bohanc@tcd.ie Photography Editor:Karina Finegan Alves finegank@tcd.ie Editorial Team News: John Lavelle lavelljd@tcd.ie Assistant News: Una Faulkner faulkneu@tcd.ie News Feature: Gearoid O’Rourke orourkgd@tcd.ie National: Anne Marie Ryan aryan19@tcd.ie International: Doaa Baker dobaker@tcd.ie Features: Kathryn Segesser & Liz Johnson segessek@tcd.ie Comment: Patricia Van de Velde vandevep@tcd.ie

Secondly, The person in question failed mention that Miss O'Brien works extremely hard in her given task always willing and always has time for everyone's needs including that of the disabled. She cares deeply about peoples needs, she is the Welfare Officer after all.

They in their letter attempt to inform us what Disability Awareness should be about.

Obviously they have failed to take advantage of all that was on offer throughout the week so as to educate themselves about "the difficulties facing those with a disability in college" as quoted by the author.

Thirdly, The complaint that this person has, has been taken out of context and I would hope that the person in question should get to know Miss O'Brien and I assure you they would regret their comments. The person in question would do well to remember that in this arena such heated and unjustified words such as theirs come with reaction and consequence. I'm all for the right to free speech but not when it borders on slander. I also understand that it is not up to the editor to deny free speech.

I leave my full details below and look forward to a reply.

Sir, His claim that “Palestinian Arabs in Israel, who make up 20% of the population, are confined to only 7% of the land” is utter nonsense. Palestinian Arab citizens of the State of Israel have all the rights of Jewish (or any other) citizens. They all have equal freedom of movement and equal rights to religious practice, health care, education, social services, and the like. In many ways, Arab women in Israel have more freedoms than in any of the Arab states. In cities like Haifa and Tel Aviv, Jews and Arabs live, work, and study (in the very universities Mr Harkin would boycott) side by side. That this is not the case in the territories is, in my mind, a glaring injustice, but that does not change the situation within the State proper.

Trinity News Editor:

Is Our Children Learning

doesn't seem noble at all. If one causes conflict one must be prepared to accept the reaction from those who disagree with them and not hide away.

I would like to request an apology for the statement in TN (Crowns and Sceptres issue) relating to my speech on the topic. The writer, one Ms. Bohan, claimed that I had a speech prepared. This is a false accusation. I was, in fact, drunk.

Yours, Vincent O'Mahony Junior Freshman (Intake 05) Nursing omahonyv@tcd.ie

Yours etc.,

Starbucks

Neil McGough Trinity News apologises to Mr McGough for any offense or misunderstanding caused - Ed

Welfare Officer Comments Sir, I write to you in relation to the comments made about the Welfare officer, Miss Stephanie O'Brien in the last edition of 'letters to the Editor'.

Firstly, The reason I write to you and not the author of this inaccurate piece is because the person in question failed to take responsibility for their words/comments by choosing to deny the student population their identity. That

Sir, Your article "Starbucks is coming to Trinity" (6/12/05),has been published three months too late.

As any student attending St James Hospital will tell you, the mermaid has arrived!

We were aghast to see the coffee shop (we'd waited 3 years for) out in St James Hospital serves Starbucks coffee. Personally I am hugely disappointed in Trinity College for giving the contract to such a widely criticized multi-national company.

I realize there has been difficulties in finding a retailer for the space. However moral issues must prevail. Starbucks coffee has caused consternation the world over on consumer, environmental and social justice grounds. The Trinity campus has an excellent track record in these

matters, boycotting both CocaCola and Nestle products. It is evident Starbucks wish to find a way in to the lucrative Irish market. I am hugely disappointed that they found it in Trinity College Dublin. I am left wondering where this will end... If the Buttery contract comes up for grabs, will Trinity give it to McDonalds?

Yours sincerely, Name with Editor

“Deaf-Dumb” Comments Sir, I would like to write a reply to the controversial letter regarding the term “deaf-dumb”, sent from two hearing impaired students.

I, myself, was not amused at mention of me as “deaf-dumb”.

The term “deaf-dumb” and “deaf-mute” is out of date. The actual term is “deaf”, “hearing impaired” and “hard of hearing”.

As I am totally deaf, hearing aid is of no help to me.

To Princes William and Harry, respectively, I introduced myself as follows: “I am deaf and communicate in writing with people because of my poor lip reading and unintelligible speech”.

Writing is my only means of conversation. I do not know well sign language.

Hearing people prefer voice to writing. So deaf people prefer sign language to writing.

When Diana the Princess of Wales was the honorary patron of the British Association for the Deaf, she learned sign language through video for 3 months and thus managed to deliver speech in sign language in meetings and to chat sign language with deaf people. I wrote to her that I was ashamed not to try to learn sign language.

I wonder if the hearing impaired students in question have the knowledge of sign language or if they use hearing aid in following conversations.

Yours sincerely, Matteo Matubarra Trinity News apologises to Mr Matubarra for any offense inadvertently caused - Ed

In the 6th December issue of Trinity News, SU Welfare Officer Stephanie O’Brien was quoted in the article “College Health Service announces end to free treatment as saying that the Students’ Union “would not not oppose the charges” for the College Health Service. This was a typing error and should have read “would not oppose the charges”. We apologise for any confusion caused by this error.

Issue 5 Volume 58

January 24th, 2006

Intern’al Students: Alesya Krit krita@tcd.ie Music: Steve Clarke clarkesw@tcd.ie Cinema: Rebecca Jackson jacksonrebecca@gmail.com Travel: Alix O’Neill lixyoneill@hotmail.com SU & Societies Enda Hargaden ehargade@tcd.ie Food & Drink: Rosie Gogan-Keogh goganker@tcd.ie Careers: Myles Gutkin gutkinm@tcd.ie Science: Oliver North northo@tcd.ie Gaeilge: Paul Mulville mulvillp@tcd.ie Sport Features: Theo O’Donnell odonnetj@tcd.ie Sport: Peter Henry pehenry@tcd.ie

TNT Team Politics:

Derek Owens dowens@tcd.ie Books: Chloe Sanderson & Klara Kubiak sandercp@tcd.ie, kubiakk@tcd.ie Theatre Editor: David Lydon lydond@tcd.ie Fashion Editor: Carmen Bryce brycec@tcd.ie Television Editor: Hannah Scally scallyjo@tcd.ie Photographs: Cian Kennedy All serious complaints can be made to: Trinity News DU Publications 2nd Floor House 6 Trinity College Dublin 2 Phone +353 1 608 2335

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Tuesday January 24th, 2006

Eagarthóir na Gaeilge: Pól Ó Maoilmhíchil

Trinity News

GAEILGE Turas Sciála Géaróid Conchubhair

Ó

Ar Oidhche Chaille, chuaigh drong ón gColáiste ar aistear iontach.

Chuamar i lig chun na Fraince ag sciáil. Bhí thart fá chaoga daoine ann thall sa spraoi. Bhíomar bunnaithe in aice le “Mont Blanc” sna “hAlps”, os cionn “San Moritz” in áit darbh ainm “Les Arc”. Mhair on chóisir ollmhór ar feadh seachtaine. Is breá liom a rá, nár gortaíodh éinne, baill ó Dhia orainn.

Bhualamar, beagnach don chéad uair san aerfort i mBaile Átha Cliath, caoga dúinn ag tnúth le craic agus comhrá. D’eitlíomar ó Aerfort Bhaile Átha Cliath ionsar Aerfort “Lyon”. Bhí an eitilt go haoibheann agus níor mhair sé ach dhá uair a chloig. Níor thairing mé mórán giúirléidí ná trealabh liom, de dheasca sin, bhí mo mhála éadrom go leor, ach cara baineann liom, bhí a málaí lán le smideadh agus a leithéid! D’iompar sé dhá mhála leí, gach ceann níos troime ná mé! Mar sin, bhí orm leath a trealaibh a ghlacadh -a leithéid de shotal!

Taisteal Tar éis trí uair ag taisteal ar bhus, shroicheamar ár gceann scríbe agus phléascamar amach ionsar ár lóistín. Bhí ár mbrú tógtha ar fána cnoic, bhí na dorchlaí ar fad ar fiar! Caithfidh duine a bheith cúramach ag taisteal dá s(h)eomra

agus é/í ar meisce tar éis oidhche spraoiúil!

Bhí clúdach breá sneachta ar na cnocanna agus ar gach fána. Ar Oidhche Chaille bhí cóisir eagraithe dúinn i dteach tábhairne áitiúil. Taobh istigh bhí cóisir shuaithinseach ar siúl ach lasmuigh bhí raic i mbun tarlú -troid mhór sneachta. Bhí na hÉireannaigh in aghaidh gach gach duine a bhí ag dul thar bráid, ní raibh aon duine slán, fiú na “Gendarme”- Gardaí na Fraince, bhí siad ag breathnú go géar orainn, ach ní raibh ach sneachta a bhí ann!

óstán Bhíomar lonnaithe in óstán féin-sheirbhíseach, cúigear i mo sheomra, ceithre bhuachaill agus girseach aonair, in ainneoin an measca sin, d’éireamar go hiontach le chéile. Bhí cúldoras ár seomra taobh le fana sneachta, bhíomar in ann sciáil ónár seomra, chruthamar fear sneachta mór mílteach, ba é ár gcosantóir ar feadh ár bhfanacht.

Sna hAlps a bhíomar mar a luaigh mé thuas, ciallaíodh sé sin go raibh a lán sléibhte ceangailte le chéile, chomh maith le “Mont Blanc” fiú!

Bhí cúpla céad ardaitheoir sciála le fáil, ardaitheoir de gach saghas, b’fhearr liomsa an “Telecabin”, cineál góndola a bhí inti. D’féadfadh duine dul go dtí aon phointe ar an sliabhraon. Bhí bailte ná ionadaithe saoire tógtha ar airdeanna difriúla. An Áit a bhí

muidne ná “Arc 1800”, mar is féidir leat a thuiscint, bhíomar 1800 troigh in airde ar taobh na cnoic.

Leaba Bhí cóisireacha éagsúla eagraithe dúinn chuile oidhche do tseachtain ar théamanna éagsúla, mar shampla “thar n-ais chun scoile”. Shroicheamar ár leapacha thart fá a trí gach oidhche agus inár ndúiseacht ar a hocht chun muidne a bheith ar na fana go luath.

Tine

Coláiste na Tríonóide - Stair Meabhar Is é Coláiste na Tríonóide, Baile Átha Cliath an ollscoil is sine in Éirinn. Tá sé suite i mBaile Átha Cliath, agus is é an t-aon chomhcoláiste atá ann in Ollscoil Átha Cliath.

Ba le linn do rítheaghlach na dTúdor sa Bhreatain a bheith ag leathnú a gcumhacht in Éirinn a bunaíodh Coláiste na Tríonóide.

Bhronn bardas Bhaile Átha Cliath tailte seanmhainistreach ar an ollscoil, agus d'fhás sí go mear cé go raibh an saol an-chorrach in Éirinn sa seachtú haois déag. Mar

gheall ar na cogaí creidimh idir Chaitlicigh, Phrotastúnaigh agus Phreisbitéirigh bhí scoláirí á ndíbirt agus úsáideadh an coláiste mar bheairic d'arm rí Shéamuis II i 1689. Bhí rudaí síochánta go leor san ochtú haois déag ach bhí corraíl ann in aimsir na nÉireannach Aontaithe (féach Téobald Wolfe Tone) ag deireadh na haoise sin. Ag tús an fichiú haois rinneadh iarrachtaí láidre chun Coláiste na Tríonóide a nascadh le Ollscoil na hÉireann, ach d'éirigh leis a neamhspleáchas a choinneáil.

Tosaíodh ag glacadh le mná mar mhic léinn i 1904 agus ceapadh an chéad bhean mar

ollamh tríocha bliain ina dhiaidh sin.

Bunaíodh Coláiste na Tríonóide sa bhliain 1592. Tá an coláiste suite ar thailte seanmhainistreach i lár na cathrach.

Protastúnaigh amháin a d'fhreastail ar an choláiste ar feadh na gcéadta bliain, ach ceadaíodh do Chaitlicigh tosú ag staidéar ann tar éis 1793. I measc na ndaoine cáiliúla a bhí ina mic léinn ann bhí Téobald Wolfe Tone, Samuel Beckett, Máire Mhic Róibín, Oscar Wilde, agus Edward Carson. Bhí an scríbhneoir cáiliúil Gaeilge, Máirtín Ó Cadhain, ina Ollamh le Gaeilge ann ar feadh scaithimh.

Ollúna le Gaeilge i gColáiste na Tríonóide: * Thomas F. O'Rahilly (1919-29) * Dáithí Ó hUaithne (1955-67) * Máirtín Ó Cadhain (1969-70) Is sampla maith é don saghas alt atá le fáil ar an Vicipéid, an Chiclipéid Shaor. Is feidir leat dul agus d’alt féin a scríobh faoi rud ar bith ba mhaith leat, nó is feidir leat an alt thuas a athrú freisin fiú.

Bhuel déan iarracht, cén dochar.

http://ga.wikipedia.org/

Oidhche éigean, oidhche Dé Céadaoin a bhí ann, bhí cóisir thar dóigh eagraithe ar ár son.

D’itheamar i mbialann darbh ainm “L’Arpette”, a bhí ar ard 2300 troigh. Fuaireamar ardaitheoir chuig an mbinn agus sciálamar síos don phroinnteach. An béile, “fondue” a bhí ann. Th’éis sin, bhí DJ fostaithe agus bhíomar ag damhsa ar na boird agus muidne ag caitheamh ár mbrógaí sciála. Mar a tharla, bhriseamar ceann de na boird agus muid ar mire ag damhsa air! Tar éis cóisire na hoidhce sin, sciálamar síos le lúchranna tine inár lámhacha, “FIRE run” a thugann siad air.

An cheist: an ndeachaigh mé arís, don áit agus leis an gcoláiste? Bhuel níl ann ach freagair amháin ar sin.....

Cinnte, cinnte,cinnte!!!!!!!!!!

Éigse na Trionóide 2006 Luan Mac Uaidh Tharla Éigse na Trionóide an bhliain seo idir an 23ú lá is an 27ú lá de mhí Eanáir. Clár iomlán a bhí ann, a raibh rud eicint ann do chuile dhuine.

Ar an gcéad lá, d’eagraigh na Gaeil Óga Comhdháil

Óige na Gaeilge in Amharclann Swift. I ndiaidh sin, bhí Fáiltiú san Atrium, a raibh Sólaistí saor in aisce traidisiúnta ann.

Ar an Máirt, léiríodh ‘Yu Ming is ainm dom’ agus ‘Fluent Dysphasia’ san Amharclann Robert Emmet le caint ó stiúrthóir an scannáin Daniel O’Hara ina ndi-

aidh. Oíche na Mac Léinn i gClub Chonradh na Gaeilge ar Shráid Fhearchair. Deochanna ar €3 agus ceol beo.

Ar an gCéadaoin, Céilí na gContaetha agus ‘Scoráil Sciobtha’ sa Bhutrach. Chaith gach daoine dathanna dá gcuid chontae. Oíche fhiáin a bhí ann le

spotduaiseanna don scoth.

Is ar an Déardaoin a bhí an Seisiún Mór thuas staighre sa 'Stags Head', agus bhí amhránaíocht, ceol, damhsa agus scéalaíocht ann.

I gcás má tá ceisteanna ann faoi aimsir an ailt seo, scríobhadh an tseachtain seo chughainn é.

Imeachtaí Suimiúla na Seachtaine Seo An Cumann Gaelach: *Ciorcal Comhrá - Seomra an Chumainn (Seomra 8) - Máirt óna 7 - 9 i.n.. Is deis mhaith é an Ciorcal Comhrá aithne a chur ar baill eile an Chumainn Ghaelaigh agus do chuid Gaeilge a úsáid nó a chleachtadh ag an am céanna! Bígí ann! *Turas go dtí an Ghaeltacht: 27 - 29 Eanáir, 2006 *Ollchruinniú Bliantúil: Mí Bealtaine, 2006

Club Chonradh na Gaeilge:

*Gach Máirt - Oíche na Mac Léinn - Ceol Beo agus gach pionta ar trí euro. *Gach Satharn - Ceol Beo

Early Irish Society: *Trip to Monasterboice and St. Kilian's Centre (Facsimile of Wurzburg Manuscript), Mullagh - Friday, February 10th, 2006

TradSoc: *Seisiúin Ceol - Gach Luan ag 20:00 – An Butrach – Tar led’ uirlis *Rangannaí Ceoil – Ag tosnú i Mí Éanair – bodhrán agus giotár - €3 an rang – ar

feadh 5 seachtanna – áiteanna teoranta (8 spás i ngach rang) – má tá suim agat, seol r-phost chuig tradsoc@csc.tcd.ie gan moill

Caledonian: Dance practice (6:00 PM - 7:30 PM) learning Scottish dancing.

Run through eightsome. Gay Gordons or reel of 51st.

Location: regent's house

An Hist: Féach thall Díospóireacht as Gaeilge i gCorcaigh. Duais €1,000, urraithe ag Gael Linn.

Bainseo Bean Jo Luan Mac Uaidh Is iomaí amhráin ghreannmhara a choistear ar shráideanna Bhaile Atha Cliath. Seo sampla dóibh.

Caidé an ceann is fearr leat?

A) Bhí bean ag Jo, Bhí bainseo ag bean Jo, Bhí bainseo ag Jo, B’fhearr le Jo, Jo ar an mbainseo, Ná bean Jo ar an mbainseo go deo

B) Dúirt bean liom go ndúirt bean léi Go ndúirt bean eile gur inis bean di Go bhfaca si bean ar bharr an tsleibhe Agus bean nach bean ach sí-bhean í

Comórtas diospoireachta trí Ghaeilge Beidh comórtas diospoireachta trí Ghaeilge ar súil ar an 3ú agus ar an 4ú la de Fheabhra i gColáiste na hOllscoile, Corcaigh. Urraithe ag Gael-Linn, beidh míle euro mar dhuaiseanna ann.

Le haghaidh ullmhúcháin do Chorcaigh, beidh dha cheardlann diospoireachta ar súil de Máirt 24 agus de Máirt 31

Eanair sa Seomra Achmhainne (ar an stór is airde den GMB, in aice le seomra na riomhairí) sa GMB ag a 5 a chlog san iarnóin.

Tá fáilte roimh chách- is cuma faoin gcaighdeán ghaeilge atá agat nó scileanna díospoireacht. Má ta suim agat seol riomhphoist chuig Aisling: mcniffea@tcd.ie.

Bígí ann!

There will be a debating competition (trí gaeilge) held on Friday the 3rd and Saturday the 4th of February in UCC. Sponsored by Gael-Linn, there will a 1,000 euro in prizes.

In preparation for this, there will be two informal workshops on Tuesday 24th

and Tuesday 31st of January in the Resource room (very top floor, opposite computer room) in the GMB at 5pm. All welcome, no matter what level of Irish or debating skills. Interested people should contact Aisling McNiffe at mcniffea@tcd.ie Information provided by the Hist - PM

Tuesday January 24, 2006

Trinity News

Editor: Alesya Krit

23

International Students

Hey guys, Welcome back! This issue is about after-Christmas time, how did you find the first part of the year in Trinity/Ireland, how did assignments go, what’s so special in the Dublin Christmas crack, what was it like to come back home and meet your family, friends, what are the expectations for the coming year?!

This and more to be found in this paper.

Enjoy!

Esprit irlandais, es-tu là?

The strangest experience with the “Irish spirit”, encountered by a French student, Daniel Didier, who was lost in the French Alps. A way to remind us that we, international students, all carry a bit of Ireland in our hearts.

C’aurait pu être une blague.

Voire un canular façon « surprise sur prise. » Mais non, il s’agissait d’une simple coïncidence. Troublante, mais coïncidence quand même. Je vous livre la situation : voici quatre heures que nous roulons en direction des Sauzes, petite station de ski des Alpes du Sud, avec pour seule perspective les paysages glacés de la vallée de l’Ubaye. Les méandres de la départementale font écho au silence inhumain, alors que la température continue sa marche rapide vers le négatif.

Le village est maintenant en vue, ne reste plus qu’à retrouver le chemin de la ferme qui, depuis quelques années déjà, sert de refuge à nos pérégrinations hivernales et familiales.

Mais la voici déjà, là, presque cachée par le panneau signalant sa présence. Esthétique

An interesting suggestion by a French Trinity student, Audrey Gonthier, that going abroad is realizing how much you care about some people or little things of your every day life back at home, that you have stopped appreciating..

plaque d’immatriculation farfelue ? Je m’approche et distingue quelque hiéroglyphe : « Dhun na nGall ». Donegal !

J’le crois pas ! Bon, à tous les coups c’est un touriste qui s’est perdu, et qui a trouvé refuge dans la ferme. J’ouvre la porte. Avec un accent reconnaissable entre mille, l’homme m’acène un chaleureux « bonne jouw ! » Le doute n’est plus permis : non seulement les nouveaux propriétaires ne sont pas Français mais je puis maintenant affirmer avec certitude qu’ils sont…Irlandais.

Après présentations rapides, j’apprends que la famille entière s’est déplacée en France, voici trois petits mois : il y a là les parents, deux enfants en bas âge, et la nounou. L’atmosphère est détendue, familiale et surtout…irlandaise. Après un

Moi qui avais passé mon temps à le chercher là-bas, c’est en France, au creux des montagnes endormies, qu’il s’est montré. simple, structure imposante : l’ouvrage exhale le rural. Du terroir français, pour sûr !

Enfin peut-être pas. Pourquoi donc cette voiture garée près de l’entrée a-t-elle un volant à droite ? Et pourquoi cette

L'Auberge espagnole a t'elle tenu ses promesses?

repas délicieux, et une fois les enfants couchés, nous discutons dans la langue de Shakespeare autour de l’âtre.

Et c’est là, devant le feu endormi dont les rougeoiements se reflétaient par intermittence

dans nos verres, que l’esprit irlandais m’est apparu. Moi qui avais passé mon temps à le chercher là-bas, c’est en France, au creux des montagnes endormies, qu’il s’est montré. Un esprit fait de bienêtre, d’une sensation étrange de déjà-vu mélancolique mêlée à la chaleur de la langue, des gens, et de nos breuvages. Un esprit simple, discret, diffus mais à la présence rassurante.

Bizarre, vous en conviendrez. D’autant plus que ce premier trimestre passé à Dublin, si riche en découvertes humaines et géographiques, n’avait pu me permettre de répondre à la question essentielle : de quoi était-il fait, cet esprit tant vanté par les Français ? Il est facile de repérer quelques particularités irlandaises, leur gentillesse, l’ambiance souvent festive des cours, l’ouverture d’esprit des professeurs, répondant sans faillir aux questions plus ou moins pertinentes des étudiants, la joie qui se répand dans les cœurs dès la porte du pub franchie et la première bière avalée à la hâte, leur ferveur sportive, et, last but not least, leurs talents de conteurs. Bien entendu, cela ne va pas sans une certaine superficialité et une conscience extrêmement développée de leur insularité.

Mais au total, rien de particulièrement excentrique. Rien qui vous permette de répondre sans coup férir à la traditionnelle question, lors du retour en France : « alors, comment sont-ils ces Irlandais ? ». En tout cas le croyais-je, jusqu’à ma rencontre inattendue avec cette essence exilée pour un temps au milieu des Alpes françaises…

Finalement, quelle morale à cette historiette ?

Tous les chemins mènent en Irlande ? Chassez l’Irlande, elle revient au galop ? Non, je crois que le Destin a simplement voulu nous prévenir : ne tentez pas de l’oublier, sans quoi elle vous rattrapera, votre nouvelle fibre irlandaise.

L’esprit irlandais, celui que l’étranger cherche, tant bien que mal, à saisir au bond entre deux discussions autour d’une pinte de bière, s’exprime le mieux dans l’absence de conscience. Ne tentez pas de l’apprivoiser, de le dompter.

Laissez-le venir à vous, faire son chemin dans votre esprit, et vous comprendrez enfin pourquoi l’Irlande est en vous, là, quelque part. Comme une quête sens dessus dessous, où pour atteindre le graal, le chevalier doit lui tourner le dos.

Parce que la nouvelle année est toujours propice au bilan, une petite réflexion sur le trimestre précédent s'imposait avant de repartir pour de nouvelles aventures!

Afin d’éviter toute phrase qui son creux, je ne dirais pas que le temps passe trop vite.

Voilà qui est dit! Toute rentrée scolaire porte en elle de nombreuses questions et parfois de grandes espérances. Pourtant, je vous dirais que je ne savais absolument pas quoi attendre de ce premier trimestre à Trinity College.

De fait, venir étudier pendant un an ici dans le cadre de ce que mon école appelle « l’année d’ouverture » tient beaucoup plus de l’aventure que du voyage organisé. Aussi, je préférais ne m’attendre à rien de particulier et voir sur place. Je dois vous avuer que cela n’a pas été facile tous les jours au départ et que l’Auberge Espagnole n’est rien de plus q'une fiction qu’il faut cesser de mythifier.

Cependant, la découverte d’un nouveau pays, d’une autre culture, et n’avoir autour de moi que des visages inconnus au début, a autant été synonyme de passages à vide que de nombreux moments de joie. Aussi, je peux affirmer avec certitude qu’en ce qui me concerne, j’ai vraiment apprécié

cette énorme bâtisse qui fait partie de ce « chef d’œuvre » d’architecture moderne que représente le Art building…, J’ai nommé la bibliothèque…

J’étais tellement heureuse de trouver (enfin) le livre que je cherchais que je l’ai honteusement réquisitionné trop longtemps…sorry (to be said with an outrageaous French accent!) d’où les premières amendes. Aussi étrange que cela puisse paraître pour certains, tout ces légers aléas représentent finalement des bons moments pour la simple raison qu’ils font partie intégrante de la

Partir […] c’est se découvrir soi même […] c’est s’apercevoir de son attachement aux choses, aux gens […] En fait, partir c’est grandir un peu. construction d’un nouveau quotidien, à la fois stable et mouvant, au sein duquel des liens d’amitié se sont tissés, des réseaux cosmopolites se sont crées, et tout cela dans la cadre d’un établissement qui non seulement est un lieu de formation intellectuelle mais aussi un endroit d’épanouissement personnelle et de socialisation du fait de toutes les associations que Trinity abritent.

N’oublions pas non plus la ville elle même, Dublin, avec

Venir étudier pendant un an ici dans le cadre de ce que mon école appelle « l’année d’ouverture » tient beaucoup plus de l’aventure que du voyage organisé. ce premier trimestre à l’étranger.

Comme d’autres « visiting students », il a été marqué par les premiers essais à rendre…en retard parfois…! Ce qui donc par la même occasion permet de faire la connaissance du Head of Department de la matière concernée. De même, comme beaucoup d’étudiants, il a également fallu que je me familiarise avec

sans qu’il y est une « Christmas party »! A dire vrai, le pourquoi de la chose m’est toujours plus ou moins obscur. Bref, de quoi nous donner des heures de sommeil à rattraper une fois rentrés à la maison. Et oui, car il le fallait bien, et s’il était difficile de m’arracher ne serait ce que momentanément à ma vie dublinoise, force est de constater que retrouver mon foyer, ma famille, mes ami(e)s, m’a permis de me régénérer et de partager. Pourtant, un étrange sentiment de manque, que d’autres ont peut être ressenti, persistait…

ses pubs et son ambiance festive contrebalaçant sa grisaille et son froid hivernal, qui offre de nombreuses possibilités de se divertir, ce qui est non négligeable quand on est Erasmus…!! D’ailleurs, il est assez remarquable de constater à quel point toute fête est l’occasion d’au moins une semaine de soirées. Vous souvenez vous de Noël? Pas une journée ou presque

La formule dit que les voyages forment la jeunesse, et pour cause… ...Partir, ce n’est pas seulement apprendre sur les autres, c’est aussi se découvrir soi même; Partir, c’est s’apercevoir de son attachement aux choses, au gens qui font notre vie de tous les jours sans même plus que l’on s’en rende compte; En fait, partir c’est grandir un peu. Aussi, ce manque expérimenté n’est autre que celui que l’on éprouve quand on doit s’arrêter de lire un livre sans connaître la fin de l’aventure.

Et parce que cette année est en devenir, on a envie de savoir ce qu’il va se passer. Ainsi, si je dois formuler une attente pour les trimestres à venir, ce serait tout simplement que la richesse des rapports humains que j’ai perçue à travers mes rencontres soit toujours aussi grande, et même plus encore, et de trouver une jolie dernière ligne à mon histoire dublinoise. Quand à ce qui est des résolutions pour cette nouvelle année 2006, j’ai justement décidé d’arrêter d'en prendre! Et vous?

Het Erasmus Effect A Dutch Trinity student, Lieke Boersma, shares a shocking “coming back to Netherlands” experience, which involved getting lost in her mother's house in the middle of the night. What else can a half-year in Trinity bring? Some afterparty syndrome, a bit of an Irish accent and some stories about Dubliners, who shop before Christmas like their lives depend upon it, are to be discussed.

Terug in Nederland zijn na drie maanden was een aparte ervaring. Steeds dacht ik, hé die mensen praten Nederlands! Goh, misschien komt dat wel doordat we in Nederland zijn. Ik moest dus wel even wennen aan mijn nieuwe omgeving. Vooral de eerste nacht bij mijn moeder thuis was verwarrend toen ik wakker werd en helemaal in paniek raakte omdat ik het toilet niet kon vinden. Ik waande me nog steeds in mijn kamertje in Dublin. Toen ik mij de volgende morgen wilde

room. Het resultaat hiervan was dus dat ik in Nederland aankwam met een koffer vol met cadeautjes, zonder dat er, hoe hard ik ook zocht, ook maar een enkel bruikbaar kledingstuk in te vinden was.

Vervolgens ga je eens denken over de afgelopen maanden en wat je zo allemaal gedaan hebt. Een van de belangrijkste dingen is dat ik ontzettend veel mensen heb ontmoet van verschillende nationaliteiten. Dublin is echt een stad met culturele diversiteit wat het een heel gezellige

[…] neem Ieren niet mee naar een Ierse giftshop want je komt er nooit meer weg. aankleden kwam ik erachter dat mijn koffer toch wel erg leeg was.

Dit was veroorzaakt door het “naar een feestje gaan de avond voordat je moet vliegen” synd-

sfeer geeft. Aangezien ik in Nederland was heb ik helaas niet alles meegekregen van de kerstsfeer. Wat me echter altijd bij zal staan is de belachelijke, bijna

beangstigende hoeveelheid knipperende lichtjes en de kuddes Ieren die je met een glazige blik en grote shoppingbags onder hun

neer elke keer dat je iets zegt iedereen begint te lachen.

Verder was iedereen heel erg blij met de cadeautjes uit

Als ik tegen een medestudent over essays of boeken lezen begin word ik vol afschuw aangekeken alsof ik twee hoofden heb. armen omver lopen.

De kerst in Nederland was behoorlijk sneeuwerig en ook vooral erg gezellig. Mijn moeders vriend is Engels en we vierden de kerst met hem en zijn zus. Ik was er al bang voor, maar zodra ik mijn mond open deed heerste er hilariteit alom. Gelijk werd er geroepen “Aaaahhh, je hebt een Iers accent! Wat lief!” Helemaal niet lief. De rest van de avond heb ik geen woord Engels meer gesproken. Het is niet dat ik niet trots ben op mijn “Ierse” accent, maar het is nogal frustrerend wan-

Ierland. Die ik braaf had uitgezocht uit een van de 100 giftshops die Dublin telt. Dat was ook nog een avontuur apart. Ik ging naar een giftshop met twee Ieren. Het zijn verder twee ontzettend leuke mensen, maar mijn advies is: neem Ieren niet mee naar een Ierse giftshop want je komt er nooit meer weg. Terwijl ik verwoede pogingen deed om een zo normaal mogelijk uitziend cadeautje uit een hoop (laten we het netjes houden) “prul” te vissen werd het een na het andere onder mijn neus geduwd, “en

deze mooie Guinness stropdasspeld dan? Of deze-totaal nutteloze met vier verschillende standen-dansende kabouter dan?!” Toen ik mij uiteindelijk tevreden stelde met een paar Guinness glazen werd ik afkeurend aangekeken: “Lieke, you could’ve just taken those from the pub, you know.” Had ik dan helemaal niets geleerd van de

Ieren?! Kennelijk niet. En ik maar denken dat Nederlanders gierig zijn.

Weer aangekomen in Dublin voelde ik me eigenlijk al heel snel weer op mijn gemak. De internationale studenten feestjes gaan natuurlijk gewoon weer verder alsof er nooit een kerst vakantie is geweest. Ik kwam er wel achter dat ik de enige ben die

ook maar enigszins iets van “werk” gedaan heeft. Als ik tegen een medestudent over essays of boeken lezen begin word ik vol afschuw aangekeken alsof ik twee hoofden heb. Kennelijk heb ik de Erasmus mentaliteit toch nog niet helemaal door, maar gelukkig heb ik nog vier hele maanden om hem onder de knie te krijgen.

And the last thing...

In the next issue we will try to find the best place in Ireland to go on a weekend trip. I’m sure that you’ve done thousands of them so far and have some sufficient experience to share. Please do so via cell 0851495979 or by mail krita@tcd.ie and leave your article before the 12th of February. If you don’t have any so far - don’t forget to pick up a next issue in week 6 of this term and find it out, to enjoy the rest of your stay here in Ireland. If any questions occur to you, please don’t hesitate to contact.

Take care, Alesya.

24 Tuesday January 24th, 2006

Science Editor: Oliver North

Trinity News SCIENCE The Case for Carbon Taxes Louise Cargin examines the fallout of Kyoto’s failure and the possibility of taxing carbon dioxide emissions The case for carbon taxes in Ireland has never been stronger. The growth of industry in this country has brought about huge changes for it’s people. Living standards have improved; in fact, quality of life for the Irish has reached an all time high. Even those living on benefits have fridges, washing machines, central heating and cars. A far cry from the impoverished living conditions that so many in this country suffered as little as twenty years ago. So, on the surface, it would seem that the Irish people are winning. But what is the price of the Celtic tigers roar? The price, fellow citizens, is our lifeline; it is the very air we breathe. As a result of industrialization, millions of tons of harmful emissions are churned out into Ireland’s atmosphere every year.

The country as a whole may be considered relatively free of air pollution, when compared to many of our European counterparts. Nonetheless at the rate we are going, Ireland will lose its ‘green’ reputation and serious problems for all in this country will ensue. We as a nation are contributing to the climate change that is global warming. This is possibly the greatest potential human crisis in recorded history. Can it really be such a great threat to mankind?

Yes. Are we taking adequate steps to address the problem? Let’s take a look.

In ratifying the Kyoto Protocol of 1997, Ireland has committed to reducing harmful emissions to 13% above 1990 levels by the year 2012. We are not on the track to fulfilling this commitment.

Actually it is predicted that we will overshoot the target by 25%.

Carbon Dioxide (CO2), accounts for approximately 50% of global warming. Yet instead of decreasing carbon dioxide emissions, Ireland’s emissions are rising, and rising rapidly. Originally carbon taxes were

to be introduced in this country in the year 2000, as part of a comprehensive strategy to curb emissions and reach our Kyoto target.

Concerns about international competitiveness are the basis of governmental failure to draft and implement carbon taxes that would significantly reduce the amount of CO2 Ireland is responsible for producing. In 2002, the idea of introducing such taxes was abandoned altogether.

These taxes would have to be levied not just on industry, but on every sector of the economy, for all sectors are involved in energy consumption. In fact the most pressing air pollution problem in this country has been identified as smoke levels in Dublin, a substantial amount of these emitted by the burning of coal in household fires.

Approximately one million tons of CO2 arise from household electricity generation in Dublin each year.

Add to this the vast amounts of motor exhaust emissions… .the list goes on. The very mention of carbon taxes sparks the fear of financial loss in many people. Were they introduced; at a proposed rate of 20 euro per ton; the government would receive in or around the region of an extra 850 million euro each year. But what would the ramifications of such measures be to the Irish citizen? It has been estimated that the average household would pay about 246 euro per annum in the form of carbon taxes.

Ranging from 157 euro for those in the lowest socio-economic classes, to 336 euro for those in the highest.

This may seem like a sizable loss to the casual observer, but let us consider the impacts in more detail.

Firstly it must be remembered that this money would stay within the country. It would be received by the Irish government in the form of revenue. In turn, this money could be returned to the Irish people in

the form of subsidies for such things as housing and education.

Other taxes could be reduced also, leveling revenue amounts. Taking this into account, previous losses incurred seem somewhat superficial. Secondly, it is important to note that taxes would not be introduced suddenly. Implication of such measures would be gradual enough to allow us to accommodate them without major disruption to our financial lives. Losses will only be suffered if we fail to make necessary changes in adjusting to new prices. Thirdly, the country will save money that would otherwise be lost as a result of not meeting our Kyoto target. If trends proceed as predicted, Ireland will end up paying just about 600 million as a result of being so far over its limit. Carbon taxes would reduce the estimated overshoot by up to a third, thus considerably reducing this figure. Carbon taxes are a sure way to reduce carbon emissions.

Any economist will tell you that when confronted with price changes people do change their consumption pattern; and this is paramount to reducing carbon emissions and reaching our Kyoto target.

Concentrating on the short-term financial impact of carbon taxes on society, is really neglecting the core issue here. We in Ireland have a golden chance to make changes now that will save us from environmental calamity in years to come. Food security and health top the list of potential disaster areas if appropriate steps are not taken to stabilize levels of harmful emissions in our atmosphere. Most of these emissions (including CO2) contain high levels of many dioxins. These are immensely harmful, carcinogenic substances, poisonous to almost all known organisms.

Breathing these substances into our lungs, risks of such illnesses as lung cancer, cardiovascular disease

The Answer is Blowing in the Wind

Coal miners: even more fed up of carbon than the rest of us and emphysema are significantly increased; that is to name just a few. Furthermore, dioxins infiltrate water supplies and contaminate soil. Degrading soils and deteriorating water sources will place huge strains on food security.

These carcinogenic dioxins have a nasty habit of collecting and concentrating in animal fats. In some high-dioxin areas in the USA, farmers have been banned from selling their produce because prod-

ucts such as milk, cheese and eggs contained levels of dioxins deemed ‘toxic’ by food regulatory authorities. Granted, these cases are extreme, but I put it to you: Is this predicament, or anything remotely like it, what we want to see happen in this country? In country that relies as heavily on the dairy industry as we do, the answer is surely no, no way. What would your reaction be if I told you that in some such areas, mothers were advised

ready and waiting for the Irish consumer. Who then is willing to hop on the wind wagon and utilize the power this technology has to offer?

The chief drawback of renewables, according to the latest edition of The Economist, is their cost compared with conventional energy sources. The cost of generating electricity from wind turbines is at least 5 cents per kilowatt hour (kWh) while conventional sources are generally lower between 3 and 5 cents per kWh. These costs in cents refer to the amount of money paid by utility companies, for example, to receive 1 kWh of ener-

Turbines: The solution to all life’s problems or just glorified windmills?

gy generated by wind farms.

1Kwh is approximately the electricity used by an electric cooker plate in one hour. Sources such as Sustainable Energy Ireland indicate the maximum cost of wind power to be 5.216 €c/kWh, however, in addition there are costs to human health and the environment that are not reflected in the price of electricity. The EU’s ExternE project rates the external costs of wind energy at 0.26€cper kWh compared with up to 15 €c/kWh for some coal fired generation. The brunt of pollution attributed to unclean energy such as in the case of many coal powered plants is taken by society through increased medical and insurance costs, degradation of the environment and impact on tourism. The Irish, among the Spanish, Chinese, Americans, Germans and others recognize this and have supported using wind turbines.

Ten kilometers off the Arklow coast lays a shallow-water sandbank where seven newly erected GE 3.6-megawatt turbine machines produce energy from the wind which is then fed into the national electricity grid. (The Arklow bank is soon to be viewed at 52N 6W when the lads at Google Earth take some higher resolution photos). The Arklow bank project was a joint venture by General Electric and local Irish company Airtricity. Airtricity are the prominent Irish wind power company who claim they have saved the release of 2,074,084 Tonnes of

needed to push other measures into motion. Ireland has reached an environmental crossroads. What lies ahead depends on what we choose to prioritize. We should not fear or criticize any plan to introduce these taxes; rather, we should embrace and support such action. It will greatly aid in creating the kind of future we all want to see.

The Question We’re Asking This Week:

What if Schrodinger had put something else in his box?

Schrodinger’s cat, some might say quantum physics’ most famous cat, is a theoretical demonstration of quantum theory’s principal of superposition. The thought experiment, invented by Erwin Schrodinger in 1935 goes like this: A cat is put, rather inhumanely, in a box with a vial of poison, into which we cannot see. The chances that the vial will release its poison killing the cat are exactly evens, with no way of knowing whether it has done so until the box is opened. Quantum theory states that until the box is opened the sorry feline exists in a sort of limbo, both alive and dead, in a superposition of states. It is only when the box is opened that the superposition is lost and the cat becomes either alive or dead.

Patrick Dustin looks at the benefits of wind power How many technological innovations remain locked away in a hidden vault waiting until the world is ready? It’s easy to imagine computer developers not only thinking into the future but having already developed processors, for example, which are beyond our time and remain in the pipeline until the consumer can handle what is not yet on offer. Energy from innovations in the field of wind power, however, is already up for grabs as the ability to harness the power of the wind has been thoroughly developed over the last decade. Energy from wind power has arrived on scene

not to breastfeed their babies?

Anyone can see that there is something drastically wrong here.

Today, Ireland can pride itself on having one of the lowest levels of dioxins in the world. Lets do all we can to keep it that way.

Of course, carbon taxes are not the only measures needed to curb emissions and slow or halt the national and global crisis we are facing. They would be however, the strongest motivating factor

But what would’ve happened if Schrodinger had been an animal rights activist, and decided to build a somewhat larger box into which he put, rather than his beloved moggy, say, consistently overrated 17th century frenchman Rene Descartes? “Aaaah” the deeply insecure but massively pretentious Rene would say “Aaaah.

Cogito Ergo Sum. Aahaah”. And would hence disprove quantum theory. This would, according to renowned sociopath and Quantum Physicist Olivia Floyer-Acland, “Undermine the laws that govern the matter of space, causing the universe to implode and Christ to come again. I hate cats”

Rene Descartes, looking smug CO2 into the atmosphere since 1st January 2003. (This is equivalent to taking 493,829 cars off the road for a year!) And the average consumer can buy electricity from these people?? It seems the answer is a simple yes and they provide both commercial and residential supply. So, clean renewable energy is available in Ireland and awaiting the discerning consumer.

Companies such as Airtricity are willing to invest in the technology and remain competitive and consumer confidence in this new source of energy is growing. As more and more consumers choose wind energy, funding for more turbines and technology will improve and in turn this will benefit the consumer. So if residents accept the look of wind turbines

dotted around the countryside then wind power looks set to take hold.

According to Sustainable Energy Ireland, if Ireland adopts a policy to provide 30% of electricity from renewable sources by 2020 the benefits may include the provision of electricity for two million homes and the creation of 1500 new jobs.

With recent rises in oil price, concerns about the future of fossil fuels and a better awareness of the impact our energy needs have on the environment, both government and consumer have realized the benefit of climbing on board the wind wagon. Whether the wind turbine is the ultimate solution remains to be seen, but for now it’s a solution that is both useful and competitive.

Whales Not as Clever as Dolphins Shock A whale was sighted swimming up the Thames river in central London on Friday the 21st of January.

Although the whale declined an interview with Trinity News Science’s team of roving reporters it has been rumoured that the whale had come to London to see the queen. Efforts from the most silver-tongued of marine biologists had, at the time of going to press, failed in persuading the whale to turn around. And although the

BBC news website talks optimistically of a rescue effort involving “a system of pontoons”, this is their answer to many of the world’s problems and has rarely worked in the past. Scientists have speculated that the whale will probably not survive its once-in-a-lifetime pilgrimage, and have blasted its decision as foolish and the final evidence that whales are “effectively big stupid dolphins”.

Sports Features Editor: Theo O’Donnell

Tuesday January 24th, 2006

Trinity News

SPORTS

25

FEATURES

BO’D Keen To Answer Ireland’s Call Captain and key player Brian O’Driscoll will be desperate to lead his Ireland side to victory in this year’s Six Nations tournament following his absence from the Autumn Internationals last November.

After a miserable autumn series, Irish rugby fans have much to celebrate with impressive provincial performances in the Celtic League and Heineken Cup and the return to form and fitness of captain and outside-centre Brian O'Driscoll.

O'Driscoll was sorely missed against New Zealand and Australia, but has looked to be on his best form following his return for Leinster, and this weekend scored an impressive try and created two more against Bath to help lead the province to the Quarterfinals of the competition.

Michael Cheika, Leinster’s head coach, was effusive in his praise of O’Driscoll after the Bath match, citing his immense professionalism and commitment to making a full recovery before testing his match-fitness in a competitive environment. Cheika also sent out a warning to other sides in the Six Nations, stating that he felt sorry for anyone who had to mark the Blackrock College man when playing as he is now.

O’Driscoll’s enforced absence over the autumn from a very nasty shoulder operation, necessitated by the infamous ‘spear-tackle’ incident against the All Blacks in July saw Ireland desperately lacking leadership and attacking nous, though it is true that debutant Andrew Trimble impressed as his replacement and should feature in the side this spring.

Trimble will be competing with the likes of well-established players Gordon D’Arcy and Shane Horgan for a spot alongside O’Driscoll in the backline.

One possibility for O’Sullivan to solve his newfound midfield selection quandry would be to move D’Arcy to the wing to partner Shane Horgan, Denis Hickie or Tommy Bowe, though it

has been from centre that the Leinsterman has made the greatest impact. John Kelly is back in the squad, and will also be competing for a wing berth, and together with out-half Jeremy Staunton he has been given the opportunity to belatedly kick-start an international career.

Ireland start their campaign with a match they ought to win, but which is becoming more challenging by the year, against Italy at Lansdowne Road on the 4th of February.

“The return of former captain Lawrence Dallaglio will be a trump card for an England team seeking to bore their opponents to death” Paul O'Connell, the ginger Martin Johnson of Munster also makes a welcome return from injury, and with Munster’s cureent form should help to bolster a pack that struggled to assert itself against Southern Hemisphere opposition. Denis Hickie is injuryfree as well, and Ireland will be pleased to see the man vying with O'Driscoll for the honour of leading try-scorer back in contention for a green jersey.

Jamie Heaslip, who won an All-Ireland medal with Trinity Under 20s is also included in the squad as one of four uncapped players, along with his Leinster team-mate Rob Kearney. Heaslip will be hoping to win his first international cap after coming away from the Autumn series without clocking up any playing time, despite showing consistently good form throughout the Celtic League and Heineken Cup and starring for

Irish representative teams at underage level.

The other uncapped players in the squad are the lightning quick Wasps scrum-half Eoin Reddan and the hard-working and aggressive Shane Jennings of Leicester.

Many considered Jennings extremely unfortunate not to have been picked in the squad for the autumn matches against Australia, Romania and the All Blacks, though he still faces stiff competition for a place in the backrow from the likes of David Wallace and Dennis Leamy, both on excellent form for Munster, but O'Sullivan should really look to give the former Leinster player some competitive international experience soon.

The big news as far as other Six Nations squad selections goes is the return of Lawrence Dallaglio to international rugby.

One of the most irritating players of all time, he will certainly be a trump card for an England team seeking to bore their opponents to death with their unique brand of misery-inducing conservative play, despite the abundant talent, breathtaking flair and attacking skills of English backs like Hodgson and Lewsey.

For Wales, the outrageously long suspension of Gavin Henson for two realtively harmless incidents, combined with Sonny Parker's retirement from international rugby and Tom Shanklin's career-threatening knee injury leaves them with huge holes to fill in the midfield before their opening clash with England at Twickenham on February 4th.

Full Six Nations updates will follow in the next issue of Trinity News

The return of Captain and talismanic figure Brian O’Driscoll will be a huge boost to an Ireland side in desperate need of a resurgence in form in this year’s Six Nations.

Rugby And Soccer Cross Over The Liffey

Computer Graphic depicting a view from inside the new-look Lansdowne Road The GAA have, at long last, overcome their own prejudice and succumbed to pressure from the government in allowing Croke Park to be used as a venue for rugby and football matches during the redevelopment of Lansdowne Road next year.

The 82,300 capacity stadium will make an ideal foster home for non-gaelic sports over the next two or three years, starting with Ireland's 2007 Six Nations match against France. The GAA apparently insisted that Croke Park's first rugby match could not involve English teams as a result of its bloody history, though England will be the second team to face Ireland at the venue.

The match-fee payable

by the IRFU to the GAA is rumoured to have been around €1.5million, and though no decisions have been reached over the future of non-gaelic games at Croke Park after the completion of Lansdowne Road, it is hard to see either organisation giving up the increased revenue that will come from at least five international matches per year being played in a stadium of such capacity.

The FAI, Ireand's soccer Association, has reached a similar agreement, allowing them access to Croke Park for at least three internationals in 2007. IRFU chief executive Philip Browne said the agreement was a "significant milestone in Irish sport" and FAI chief executive John Delaney described it as

"historic".

This ends an extremely sorry and xenophobic chapter in the history of Irish sport, and it is unfortunate that it took what was essentially an enormous cash bribe from the government for the GAA to bring about such a change.

Hopefully the three Irish official bodies, which between them govern this island's four most popular sports, will be able to put aside their ludicrous prejudices and commit to a lasting agreement that will not only benefit all parties involved financially but will also be doing a huge favour for Irish sport and its fans.

An ongoing rental agreement of some kind between the organisations would leave Ireland

with two world-class venues for field sports once Lansdowne Road is completed, a situation that would certainly be in everyone’s interests, as it would provide far more versatility in terms of scheduling, preventing any potential clashes between football and soccer matches, and reducing pressure on overburdened groundstaff to keep pitches in top-class condition throughout wet and muddy winters.

Moving bigger matches to Croke Park, for instance any Ireland vs England clashes (sure to be emotive occassions in such a stadium), whilst keeping smaller matches at Lansdowne Road would also heap to alleviate the massive shortfall in ticket supply to events like soccer World Cup qualifiers

and Six Nations matches.

Another benefit would be the increased likelihood that Ireland could win bids to host or co-host high profile sporting tournaments and festivals, which would not only help boost the economy and raise Ireland’s international profile, but which would crucially bring in much needed revenue to support the playing of sport at development and youth levels.

If Croke Park were made a viable venue, you can be sure that Ireland would be hosting a significantly larger number of events like the Heineken Cup Final or Champions League Final than is currently the case.

One factor that the GAA also seem to have overlooked is that very few people outside Ireland actually know about Croke Park’s very existence, and those that do have little respect for the sporting body which was refusing to allow national teams in need of a new home to avoid going overseas to Cardiff or elsewhere for home games.

Whilst the GAA maintained that they were supporting Gaelic games by restricting access, they were in fact harming the image of the sports outside Ireland.

Nothing will improve the chances of hurling and football becoming more popular more than their newfound attatchment to an international sport like rugby and a truly global one like soccer.

As the great George Hook (see article , right) said, “Munster vs. Perpignan. At Croke Park. Taoiseach, take that down.”

George Hook Goes A Little Bit Mental It is clear to most impartial observers that George Hook is just a little bit crazy. On Saturday 21st January he confirmed everyone’s long-standing suspicions, and in true over-excitable sports pundit fashion, he went just a little bit mental.

Understandably upset about RTE’s loss of the Heineken Cup broadcasting rights to SkySports, Hook appeared at RTE’s broadcasting box at Thomond Park wearing a morose expression, and dark funeral suit with black tie, all finished off with a black armband to mourn the pass-

Thomond Park and its atmospehere and history. Not likely.

At this stage, obviously worried about being outdone by his fellow pundit, Brent Pope decided to weigh in with his own decalration of indignation, citing his many enjoyable post-match experiences in the bars and pubs of Limerick as testament to his respect for Munster’s rugby culture. He alsmost seemed to have a tear in his eye as he recalled the “sixteen wonderful years” he had spent coming down to Thomond Park, and no one can doubt the truth of such a statement. Quite why he

The incredible Hook: Don’t make him angry, you wouldn’t like him when he’s angry... ing of European rugby’s knockout stages from terrestrial television.

When questioned live on air about his admittedly eyecatching appearance, Hook began a (justified) rant about what the ERC have done to Irish sports fans.

“The ERC have sold Irish rugby’s heritage down the river,” seemed to be a favourite mantra of the intransigeant Hook, and he angrily repeated it several times, demanding to know whether the likes of Stuart Barnes or anyone else on SkySports’ rugby panel knew as much as he did about

should stop at sixteen just because RTE won’t be paying him anymore seems like a petulant question.

Despite the hyperbole, these impassioned arguments in favour of an Irishman’s right to watch free sport in his own home are admirable, but Georgey should perhaps have stopped just short of requesting that Stephen Spielberg collaberate with the (deceased) Cecil B. DeMilo to direct a film about Munster’s breathtaking victory over Sale. Well done, Hooky.

26 Tuesday 24th January, 2006

Sports Features Editor: Theo O’Donnell

Trinity News

SPORTS

FEATURES

Pharaohs Off To Flying Start In African Cup Of Nations Gadafi’s boys were no match for the pride of the Pharoahs as the hosts of the 2006 Tournament start brilliantly in front of home fans and build a clear lead at the top of Group A Egypt, hosts of this years African Cup of Nations, took all three points from the opening match of the tournament when they played Libya at Cairo International Stadium.

Egypt managed to put a poor build-up to the tournament behind them in overcoming a Libyan side that was down to ten men, and doing so in some style.

Having previously lost away at Libya in the World Cup qualifiers in a run which also saw them concede two games to footballing minnows The Ivory Coast, a victory in front of home fans will be a massive boost to a team that desperately needs to rediscover some form.

Playing in front of the President of Egypt, as well as many other leading Egyptian digniatries, they established a good lead in the 17th minute through Tottenham’s Ahmed “Mido” Hossam. Just five

minutes later a stunning thirty yard free kick from Mohamed Aboutrika had all but guarenteed the win for the Pharoahs before half-time.

Libya started the second half well, pushing Egypt while the hosts seemed prepared to sit back, but eventually over-eagreness got the better of them, and a series of reckless challenges saw goalkeeper Luis de Agustini sent off. Having blatantly hauled down Mohamed Barakat, the African Footballer of the Year, inside the Libyan box, de Agustini ensured that his replacements first duty on the pitch was to face the hungry boot of Mido as he took the ensuing penalty.

Muftah Ghazalla made an impressive save, but was unable to stop the rebounded shot by Ahmed Hassan. A three goal lead against ten men on home ground was the sort of advantage that even a characteristically lazy team like

Serbia & Montenegro couldn’t manage to throw away, and the Egyptians duly finished the match as winners by three goals to nil.

The incredibly tight security at the game was rumoured to be as a result of an alleged appearance by Colnel Muammar Gadafi himself, but if Libya’s leading proponent of dapper militarychic was in the stands, he was keeping an unusually low profile.

Gadafi could be forgiven for remaining incognito if he was indeed present, so lacklustre was the performance of his national side.

The hosts will gain great confidence from this stylish win, particularly in light of the impressive performances from the likes of Mido, who showed he is just as cool and calm with the boot as he is in the air. Barakat also put in a fine display, and is set to be one of the

stars of the tournament. If Egypt can maintain this momentum through key clasehs with Group A rivals Ivory Coast and Morocco, then their progression throughout the tournament will be a formality.

Morocco have been terribly inconsistent of late and need a good run in the tournament in order to re-establish themselves on the world stage after a miserable run that saw them fail to qualify for this year’s World Cup in Germany.

The Ivory Coast side are deperate to reimpose their name amongst the elite African nations after a decade and a half of obscurity since their last major tournament victory in 1992. Whether or not they can do so will almost certaily be decided by their group match against Morocco, and the players will be desperate to avoid aother early and embarrassing flight home, which last time earned

them the dubious pleasure of a formal visit from the commander-inchief of Ivory Coast’s army.

Cameroon are undoubtedly the team to beat in Group B, and anything less than a semi-final spot for this proud footballing nation will be a massive disappointment. Tunisia look likely to emerge as the leaders of Group C, and are another nation that look certain to make the semi-finals. In Group D it is Nigeria who are likely to dominate, but it would be foolish to totally write off Senegal,, who easily have the talent, if not the current form, to go all the way.

It should be a terrific tournament, and anyone keen to take a look at some of the emerging sides of African football prior to Germany 2006 would do well to follow its inevitable twists and turns closely.

Jay Jay Okocha is set to be a star of the 2006 African Cup of Nations, and could well be key to a Nigerian victory in the tournament

Fairytales on the Fields of Dreams Andrew Payne Fairytale stuff - every year around this time the old football cliché is taken off the shelf, dusted down and rolled out for the FA Cup third round. The big guns join the fray and the cameras travel down to a small English town where a bunch of part-timers, plying their trade as plumbers or electricians most of the week, take on a team of Premiership superstars (that, or a side of reserve players and youngsters aspiring to be superstars). The cameras come in, the amateurs get 90 minutes in the spotlight and then just as quickly as it began it's all over, the television rights and ensuing financial stability the only sign that the match ever happened to the outside world. For the fans and players however the occasion of some of the world's best taking to the field and playing the local boys is something to cherish forever.

This year's third round provided more evidence than ever that this dream is still alive. The triumph of Greece in the 2004 European Championships is held aloft meanwhile that even at the very top, fairytales happen. This would be a wonderful case but often it is not true. While Burton Albion and Nuneaton Burrough can proudly lay claim to well

earned draws, in reality these games were not what they seemed.

While the Burton players and fans got half an hour of Rooney and Ronaldo, for the most part they were treated to a reserve side made up of players who in some cases, such as that of Richie Jones, they would be forgiven for never having heard of. While the image of Rooney signing shirts for his opposition was a memorable one, the likes of van Nistelrooy, Giggs and even Gary Neville were nowhere to be seen.

While the trip to Old Trafford for the replay is something the Burton players will treasure and something indeed worthy of the attention it's given (despite the 5-0 result), recent times have seen the false championing of many wouldbe fairytales. Take for instance Greece's victory. While it's impossible to criticise the Greek people for their joy, the Greek squad was made up of players from some of Europe's top leagues employing defensive tactics. Rather than glorifying a scrappy victory in a poor tournament, the attention should be turned to the underperformance of the would-be stars. Greece's victory was not so much a fairytale as a default win. There is room for fairytales in the world of football and for the good of the game real ones are needed. This summer's

World Cup would be a good place for them to emerge.

While there is no team with a true fairytale story like that of Iraq, whose soccer team reached the semi-finals of the 2004 Olympics following two decades of horrific torture at the hands of Saddam Hussein's son Uday, as qualification stories go there have been some fair candidates for fairytale status. While Trinidad and

Greece? We dream of Maradona, of Cruyff, of Best. The game has been starved of late of these players and these dreams. The lacklustre performances of many of the world's finest in Japan/Korea and Portugal have left a void. Only one players truly shines bright at the moment.

The one player who every kid in the school yard 'bags' to play as is the untouchable Ronaldinho. No other player today creates the same

“How many people have played on the street and dreamed of playing for Greece? We dream of Maradona, of Cruyff, of Best. The game has been starved of late of these players and these dreams” Tobago (led by Leo Beenhakker, one of three former Holland bosses set to lead other nations in Germany) are the smallest country ever to qualify for the World Cup, the appearances of Angola and Togo will be even more interesting.

Both teams are comprised mainly of home-grown players still plying their trade in Africa.

The real space for fairytales though needs to be filled by the game's greats. Too often today it is popular to support a defensive underdog over an attacking power of world football. The game needs its great heroes however. How many people have played on the street and dreamed of playing for

buzz when he's on the ball, no other player tries such outrageous tricks, no other player can score such sublime goals, and has any other player ever set up goals with intentional passes with his back?

Ronaldinho is the only real idol today. The game needs others and needs great teams.

The real fairytales of the game have always been those provided by the best. While the FA Cup is praised for its giant-killings, is a nil-all draw on a terrible pitch in Burton really a great advertisement for the game? Likewise is Millwall reaching the final a fairytale? Wimbledon's success was undoubtedly a fairytale but the

great games and great memories need to come from the best. The greatest advertisement for the FA Cup in decades was the 1999 semifinal replay between Arsenal and Manchester United. A game played by full strength sides with players at the peak of their ability. A game which featured fire, passion, an injury time saved penalty, a red card, and one of the greatest goals the game has seen. These are the games that people dream of and that live on forever in people's memories.

In Germany this summer the football world needs games like these and it needs its greatest teams, teams like Brazil, France, Italy, Spain and Argentina playing at their peak. Games that will never be forgotten. Euro 2000 was the last tournament to provide this.

These games are needed to spark the imagination, to inspire the kids to come out onto the street after the games and play in the light of the street lamps, pretending to be Ronaldinho or Henry and trying to recreate the goals they've seen.

Whether they grow up to have one fleeting moment in the sun like Burton, or a lifetime wth Manchester United, if they only have the example of the likes of Greece they may never even try.

Let's keep our fingers crossed for more real fairytales.

Ronaldinho: The one true icon of today’s game?

Leinster and Munster Reach European Quarter-Finals In what was an incredible weekend for Irish Rugby, Leinster and Munster both secured places in the quarter-finals of the Heineken Cup, with impressive victories over English clubs Bath and Sale respectively.

Munster’s 31 - 9 win at Thomond Park was reminiscent of the ‘Miracle Win’ against Gloucester in 2004, with the boys in red securing a vital bonus point through a David Wallace try in the third minute of injury time.

It didn’t take long for Sale to lose their heads in the imposing atmosphere at Thomond Park, and after the enormous Andrew Sherridan picked a fight with Peter Stringer, Ignacio Fernandez Lobbe weighed in with an attempted punch on Jerry Flannery that saw him spending ten minutes in the bin. O’Gara took adavantage of the resulting penalty to nudge Munster into an early lead.

Sale, leaders of the Guinness Premiership, were unable to cope with the sustained physicality of the passionate Munster side, and Sebastien Chabal in particular was on the receiving end of some enormous hits from the likes of Dennis Leamy, Paul O’Connell and even Ronan O’Gara, after his match-winning performance when

Munster were visitors at Sale. The immense Frenchman looked totally lost by the start of the second-half and his famous tackle-breaking charges were nowhere to be seen.

O’Connell’s hit on Chabal following a pinpoint O’Gara restart was followed up by a huge Munster drive, resulting in Hodgson skewing his attempted clearance. Munster crossed Sale’s line for the first time in the 12th minute, through Foley’s try from the back of a well worked maul at the lineout.

This forward dominance was a huge element in Munster’s victory, with the back row in particular putting in a huge effort to counteract Sale’s impressive rucking. Wallace had his body in every breakdown from the first to last minute, and it should be no surprise that it was he who was there first to make the pick-and-go that produced the fourth try.

The Munster pack also stood up at scrum time, and while John Hayes could never claim to have got the better of opposite man Andrew Sherridan, he certainly wasn’t obliterated by him, as many had suggested would be the case.

Indeed, the scrum always looked like a solid platform for Munster, and Sale rarely managed to get a nudge on.

Sebastien Chabal looks to break through, but finds Muntser give no quarter at Thomond This set-piece dominance also extended to the lineouts, where O’Connell and O’Callaghan helped Munster win all but one of their own throws, and where they also managed to disrupt a significant amount of Sale’s possession.

So impressive was Munster’s pack that George Hook demanded after the game that O’Sullivan select seven of the eight in Ireland’s starting line-up, sconceding that Easterby would get the nod over Antony Foley.

Munster were also

uncharacteristically cohesive in the backline, and each player from nine to fifteen dominated his opposite man from start to finish. Declan Kidney’s decision to pick on form and reward impressive Celtic League performances from Ian Dowling and Barry Murphy certainly paid dividends, with the youngsters providing much of Munster’s class outside O’Gara.

Dowling outplayed England firstchoice wing Mark Cueto, who was never allowed to settle, and both men acted as brilliant foils to the

hard running and tough yard gaining of the big South African centre Trevor Halstead Dowling went over for his first European try after sustained pressure inside Sale’s 22 was finished by great hands and a well-worked overlap out wide.

Barry Murphy followed this with his own first Heineken try after a dazzling run from halfway that saw him skip past two tackles and outpace Jason Robinson to cross for Munster’s third, taking them into the break 24 - 9 ahead.

Munster spent much of the second half pushing hard for a bonus point, whereas Sale seemed content to kick for corners and maintain a slender lead at the top of Group A. Both teams defended hard and with sustained aggression, but no side could resist the level of pressure exerted by Munster, and their flawless set piece play throughout the match eventually led to Shaun Payne making the break for Wallace to score a great try, securing the top spot in the Group.

Munster have always been a team renowned for their impassioned performances and Thomond Park has been the stage for some incredible victories, but to put this remarkable victory down to nothing but adrenaline would be to

do a great injustice to a terrifically organised and clinical performance. That said, Munster played with immense pride and selfless commitment, and the atmosphere at Thomond Park made it the most intense of sporting arenas.

Leinster’s impressive 35 - 23 victory over Bath not only guarenteed their own quarter-final berth, but also ensured that Munster got a home tie, and both team’s performances bode well for Ireland in this year’s Six Nations.

Of particular note for Irish fans will have been Munster‘s immense forward effort and Brian O’Driscoll’s dramatic return to form (see overleaf), scoring a try and setting up two more with some excellent breaks. Contempomi ran the backline with expert precision, and Leinster, like Munster, did well to absorb some enthusiastic and physical play from their English opponents.

The victory further marred the weekend for English clubs, as it ended Leeds Tykes’ chances of making the quarterfinals. Leinster will now travel to Welford Road to face Leicester, usually a thankless task, but they can take heart from Munster’s victory there in similar circumstances three years ago.

Munster will face

Perpignan at home in a match they will be favourites for, and though it is far too soon to make any bold claims about winning the competition outright, it is hard not to get excited about the prospect of the Heineken Cup finally finding a place in the trophy cabinet at the team’s headquarters in Musgrave in Cork. After so many years of heartache, no one deserves it like Munster.

The question must now be whether or not Eddie O’Sullivan can carry over the success of the provinces, with Ulster also performing well in Europe and at home, and delivering some longedfor and international success.

Sports Editor: Peter Henry

Tuesday January 24, 2006

Trinity News

27

SPORT

Playing College hockey Short Sport should be second nature Report Too many talented hockey players coming to Trinity are opting not to join the College’s Ladies’ Hockey Club.

Adrienne Da Costa looks at this disappointing trend and suggests some solutions.

As a former Trinity player is named as the new captain of the Irish ladies’ hockey team, one wonders when representing Trinity stopped being an honour and started becoming a chore. It’s a question posed frequently by members of DU Ladies’ Hockey Club. An increasing number of students coming up to Trinity are opting to stay at their old club, or (worse still) joining another club to which they had no previous allegiance.

Trinity’s Ladies’ Hockey Club fields five teams in their respective Leinster leagues each week. The first XI play in division one, the highest possible club level competition. This is their first season back at the top, having been relegated to division two in 2004.

This relegation prompted the departure of one then Ulster under21 and two Leinster under-21 interprovincial players, one of whom left behind a four-year sports scholarship.

No one would deny that the current season so far is proving to be a challenge, but it is one to which the players are rising.

Trinity’s position in the bottom half of the league may, in some eyes, render it second class to the likes of European champions Hermes and Leinster champions Loreto.

However, along with UCD, these two clubs are the only ones out of the top seven not to be composed of players qualifying to play for Trinity. These statistics surely speak for themselves.

Amongst the Trinity students playing for other Leinster clubs there is currently one Irish development squad member and Connaught senior interprovincial player, one Ulster senior interprovincial champion, and two Leinster under-21 interprovincial champions.

The question is inevitable: how well would Trinity fare with the services of some of these athletes? That is not to discredit the recovery from the relegation of 2004, which has been such that the first XI already find themselves in a more healthy position than on their previous outing in the first division.

Many of the players who haven’t made the move to the College club have commented that the state of the Club’s facilities has discouraged them. In fact, to facilitate coaching, the first and second

XI now hold one of their two weekly sessions at Alexandra College in Milltown. This allows for a more structured programme and cuts by half the journey time required to the home pitch in Santry. It is hoped that the continuation of this arrangement will bring back some of the College’s stronger players.

Nevertheless, College hockey doesn’t come without its rewards. Aside from their Leinster league and Cup commitments, Trinity players take part in the annual Intervarsity and Colours tournaments. These events are regarded as highlights of the sporting calendar in any College club; in the Ladies’ Hockey Club in particular, participation is seen as a reward in itself. On more than one occasion, those players involved in other clubs have asked that they be considered for the teams fielded for these competitions. This was practiced by Queen’s University at this year’s intervarsity competition: they included in their team – which lost to UCD in the final – two members of the Irish development squad who play for a top Ulster club. Both Plate winners Trinity and champions UCD disregard this practise: members of the regular team should not have to give up their place to players who cite their own aspirations to make representative teams as reason not to play College hockey.

The College also merits individual successes. As a member of the Leinster under-21 side which won the recent Interprovincial competition, Rebecca Murphy has earned herself a sports bursary, as has Irish Universities representative and first XI captain Cecelia Joyce, thus proving that college level hockey isn’t without talent, and that honours are not only dished out to players in the top clubs. In fact, Joyce, along with reserve members Murphy and Laoise Coady, have with the Universities team been given the chance to combine a very high standard of hockey with a lot of fun. It is an opportunity which could easily be seized by the nonTrinity players should they choose to first play for their College.

Currently a member of the Irish development squad and the Hermes side that won the 2005 European Cup, former DU Ladies’ Hockey Club player Aoife Mitchell first earned her under-21 caps

Pugilists beaten in Cambridge match DU Amateur Boxing Club travelled to Cambridge for their annual match last Friday. There were Trinity wins for Club Captain Eoin Sheridan (light heavyweight), James Annett (middleweight) and Edward Montgomery (lightweight). Pat Wheen and Lois James took part

in exhibition matches.

Unfortunately the bouts, which took place in the Cambridge Union, went 5-3 to Cambridge.

Club members were entertained by their hosts, Cambridge University Amateur Boxing Club, for the weekend.

Irish College League basketball in Luce

The first XI’s top goal-scorer, Louisa Johnston (left), who returned to the College club after staying with Glennane last season Photo: Adrienne Da Costa while studying Computer Science at Trinity, from which she graduated in 2003. Mitchell continues to be a great advocate of the college game, as does her Hermes teammate, newly appointed Irish captain Linda Caulfield, who played with Trinity during all four of her college years, graduating in 2001.

Caulfield was capped some forty-five times for Ireland while she was still a Trinity student, earning her first at the age of nineteen. She has gone on to become Irish hockey’s most experienced female player, currently with one-hundred-and-seventeen caps to her name, and at only twenty-six is the youngest ever to have reached such a figure. Although modest about her recent appointment, Caulfield strongly emphasises its significance for Trinity hockey: “It just shows that if you’re a good enough player, it doesn’t matter what club you play for.”

During her time with Trinity, Caulfield contemplated a move to her current club Hermes, but felt that representing her college would give her more of a chance to shine: “I wouldn’t have

stood out at Hermes the way I did at Trinity. Playing for Trinity meant I had to work harder to play as well as the girls from the top clubs, and the coaches in Leinster saw my motivation”. The Irish midfielder has in the past played under the Trinity’s current first XI coach Harold de Jong: “Harold is a real character, and he really gets the job done”. She also praises the vast experience of assistant coach Mandy Holwey, who last year played an instrumental role in securing promotion to the top flight. Overall Caulfield states that it was because she enjoyed her hockey that she improved her game. “There’s such a strong team spirit because you’re all in the same boat. Looking forward to things like Colours and Intervarsities brought us all closer together. College hockey is so special; it’s only four years of your life and it’s the only chance you get.

You leave with friends for life”.

She doesn’t understand the mentality of those who choose to stay with another club in the hope that it might increase their chance of achieving interprovincial honours:

“Players sometimes make excuses.

They have the rest of their lives to play club hockey. You make those teams on your own merit; your club isn’t important”.

To play or not to play for Trinity – it is undoubtedly a decision that some players agonise over, and an opportunity which is later regretted by those who do not seize it. One such player, Louisa Johnston, came to College club this year having chosen to stay at division two club Glenanne last season.

Johnston, who is currently the first XI’s league and intervarsity top scorer, regards her decision to play for her college as having enriched her college experience: “Going to college and playing hockey are both fun on their own, but choosing to combine the two is a decision I should have made a year earlier, and it’s one I’ll never regret”.

In Trinity hockey every success gained is one you share with not only your team mates, but your college mates, and to do so appears to be that little bit extraspecial. Playing College hockey must now return to being second nature.

Sixteen teams played in the Irish College League semi-finals and finals in Luce Hall between Friday 16th and Sunday 18th December last.

Despite a bad start in the women's division one semi-final against the University of Limerick on the Friday, Trinity came back in the second and third quarters with great scores from Irene Hobin. UL kept the lead however and Trinity never regained the points difference from the start of the match. Trinity were only a half bench due to many injury problems. Great defense was played but this was not enough to overcome the strong Limerick side.

Ten points was the difference at the end of the game, the final score being 60-50. UL went on to beat Dublin City University in the final on the Sunday.

In the men's division one final on Sunday, DU lost out

to Cork Institute of Technology.

Trinity got the first basket in this game but CIT took the lead and with a slow start by Trinity, CIT were winning by fifteen points at the end of the first quarter. Great shooting from Cedric Assambo kept Trinity in the game in the second quarter but at half time the Trinity were losing by fourteen points.

Trinity came back strong with John Behan and Donal Lynch shooting twenty-one points between them in the third quarter.

At one stage they came within three points of Cork. DU got into foul trouble at the end of the high scoring game with Kao, with Behan and Mac a'Bháird all fouled off. CIT scored nine free throws as a result of team fouls.

This brought this fast paced game to a stagnant end. The final score was 108-95.

Rifle Club’s novice event underway DU Rifle Club are current running an ongoing novice shooting competition, taking place every Wednesday at the Club’s facility on campus. The John Keeney Novice Cup is an internal shooting competition for complete novices.

The competition was the brainchild of Club legend John Keeney, currently working in research here in Trinity. It began as a private challenge between two shooters one Wednesday night at the range, with the idea eventually being endorsed as an official internal DURC competition. The compe-

tition is thus named in honour of its founder.

The John Keeney cup is a great opportunity for complete beginners to compete informally whilst having fun: putting off your opponent, cracking jokes at the range officers, and of course, attempting to hit the target.

DU Rifle Club is currently the leader in the Celtic League rifle competition. This competition pits Trinity shooters against those from Cardiff and Aberdeen Universities.

100 years ago in College sport Boat Club For the past three weeks rowing has been going on, more or less intermittently, at Island Bridge.

Now, however, that Term has commenced, and nearly everyone is in residence, we hope that new members will attend regularly; for it is only by constant practise that the difficulties of the “sliding seat” can be overcome.

The junior members, too, have been conspicuous by their absence, and it would be well to remind them, that a season’s rowing does not qualify them to shirk attendance during winter months.

The art of oarsmanship is not learnt in a few months, or even a year; and there is every probability that they will have to look to their laurels in the coming season.

Rugby Football Since our last notes appeared the Club has had an uninterrupted series of victories, none of the teams having to acknowledge defeat. Club matches have had to take second place to the International trial matches, but still, since Christmas, the first XV has defeated in turn Bective, Lansdowne and Monkstown – the first pretty easily, and the two latter after hard games. Against Lansdowne the backs had chief credit for our rather narrow victory, but against Monkstown best work was done by our forwards, though

it must be said the opposition suffered more from the absence of some of their regular players than did our men. The two matches are amongst the most important of our Dublin fixtures, so it augurs well for our chances in the Cup matches that we were successful in both. All the same, the form shown by both forwards and back left much room for improvement, which, we are sure, will be evident at that time.

The second XV are head of their division of the Junior League, and, barring accidents, ought to retain their position till the end of the season. Still, there is a slackness about some of the members, which is quite unusual in the Club. They declare off for some trivial excuse, and even then generally at the last moment, when it is often impossible to get the best substitute available. The same remark applies, to some extent also, to the lower XVs, who, all the same, have put up some phenomenal score in their recent matches.

It is many years since the captain of the Football Club has not gained his Irish cap, and we congratulate Casement on keeping up this splendid record. Parke, Thrift, and Caddell have again added another date to the caps, and, we are sure, will today add to their own reputations and that of their University. The Club was well represented in the Inter-Provincial matches, no fewer than twelve members taking part in one or other of these games.

Association Football The last few weeks have not been productive of much football, chiefly on account of the number of dates which have been closed, as far as the League is concerned, for Leinster Cup matches and the InterProvincial. But it is always difficult to get the team together after the Vacation. However, as the Term has now started, it is to be hoped that members will turn out in greater numbers.

Last Saturday the second XI played Swifts, in the College Park, and were defeated, although they beat the same team earlier in the season. There was little or no combination, and nearly everyone displayed a lack of training. The forwards were all too selfish, and when they did pass it was erratically. Of the defence, Nichols played hard, but is inclined to miss his kick. Byrne was very weak in goal.

Hockey Club Since the last account of our doings appeared in these pages many things have happened. As me made our adieu last Term, we were expecting a visit from Edinburgh University. They came, but we conquered, after a pleasant game in unpleasant weather. We hope the fixture with the Scottish University will become an annual one.

A few days after this match Trinity went on tour to Belfast. Various difficulties beset

us, and we had to travel with several substitutes in our ranks. Still, we were very successful, and won all our games comfortably enough.

The team played very well indeed, and great credit is due to the substitutes, all of whom laid foundations, on which we hope to see them build great reputations.

We are now in the midst of Cup ties. We met and defeated Dundrum, in the first round, by one goal to nil. The game was played in the Park, and that fact made combination impossible amongst the forwards; otherwise it is probable we should have scored a more decisive victory, although the defence of our opponents was very sound. For Trinity, Carey played a fine game at back, while Bridge was also good.

Today we play Three Rock Rovers in the second round of the Cup. For this match the following have been selected, and given their colours for 1905-06: Goal: JG Moloney; Fullbacks: GH McCormick, *TA Carey; Half-backs: CG Sherlock, DL Robinson, *EWG Young; Forwards: WH Napper, DLC Dunlop (capt), TS Dagg, RCS Gregg, TW Bridge. (*New Colours) Trinity was well represented in the Inter-Provincial matches – Dunlop, Dagg, Gregg, Bridge, Robinson, McCormick, Molony, all took part in the games, while International honours have only been awarded to DL Robinson. To all of these, congrat-

In Black and White: DU Boat Club Junior eight in 1906. The crew, “conspicuous by their absence” early in the year, went on to win Boyne, University, Limerick and Waterford Regattas.

Photo: DU Boat Club ulations.

In the Junior Cup, the second XI beat Malahide, while the Third established a record by winning their tie with Athy, this being the first time a third team has won a round in the Cup. It would be a

most gratifying sight should they meet the second XI in the final round.

We hope to have a interyear competition this Term. Five teams are to play. Two of Bachelors, one of Senior, and one

of Junior Sophisters, and one of Senior and Junior Freshmen combined.

Extracts taken from TCD: A College Miscellany, No 199 (1906)

Cover Story

TNT

How Much is Really We’re constantly being told that we’re drinking too much, but how true is it? Christine Bohan spent a night in the Pav and the Buttery (purely for research purposes) to find out

I

t’s 8.30pm on a Friday night at the Pav, and the place is so packed that it’s physically impossible to get in the door. There are a hundred or so people standing around outside it, despite the cold weather, and everyone seems to be having a good time. Some of the boys from the Phil are talking animatedly at a table with so many beer cans on it that it’s almost impossible to make out the table underneath. Two boys are sitting on the steps loudly rating every girl who walks by out of 10 (“Ah come on, 8 is a bit generous, her arse is massive”). A couple of skeletal girls are knocking back their Malibu and Cokes whilst talking loudly about how there’s not enough hot guys on their course.

About half the people are dressed casually, having hung around college since their lectures finished this afternoon, whilst the rest are a bit more dressed up to go on somewhere later, probably the Palace.

It’s a similar story in the Buttery, half an hour later, except with less people. About half of the tables and

chairs have already been packed up for the evening. The CD player doesn’t kick in until about ten past 9, so until then it’s possible to overhear a lot of the conversations going on. It’s mainly small groups of about 2-3, crouched over the black tables with a few cans of Tuborg each.

“You are SUCH a liar!

You’re so hammered already! Oh my God, you are the least sober of ALL of us!” Cue a lot of drunken laughing from the girls This isn’t the picture of student drinking that we see splashed all over the media constantly, that we’re warned about by health professionals, that concerned parents ask us about. There’s no fights, no puking, no girls crying after a few too many drinks. No-one is falling over themselves or taking a discreet slash in the bushes by the Pav. In fact it all looks remarkably civilised. There

Alcohol and essay writing is always a bad combination

does seem to be a lot of cans on each table in both the Buttery and the Pav, but then there’s a lot of people sitting at each table.

But this doesn’t tally with what we know about our attitudes to drinking. The College Lifestyle and Attitudinal National (CLAN) survey found that 61% of male students and 41% of female students binge drink at least once a week. Even taking that the definition of binge drinking (at least four pints of beer or four measures of spirits or equivalent, in one session) seems low enough to incriminate an awful lot of us, that’s still a high number. Dr. David Thomas, the head of the College Health Service is concerned at the amount that students are drinking: “The epidemic we’re seeing is not necessarily an increase in the number of students experimenting with binge drinking but instead an increase in the number of drinks being consumed per session”.

The College Service has seen a marked increase in the number of stu-

dents making appointments for alcoholrelated reasons. “Over the past 5-10 years there’s been an increase in the number of injuries related to alcohol, cases of unprotected sex and both self and assisted referrals for problem drinking” explains Dr. Thomas. “One major concern would be that approximately 15% of significant binge drinkers would go on to have serious long-term alcohol problems” Anecdotal evidence from the Buttery and the Pav shows just how unhealthy our attitude to alcohol is.

A table of four boys and two girls in the Pav are happy to talk about the amount they’re drinking tonight.

One of the boys had snuck in cans of Tuborg from Centra: “It was better value really. It’s two for €3 here [in the Pav] but you get 6 for €7 in Centra so it works out better. Guess it means you have to drink more but I probably would have done that anyway”. Two of them are celebrating doing an exam today. “I did shit, none of the stuff I studied came up so I just want to forget about it” says one, on his fifth pint of the evening.

A lot of the third year History class are in the Pav and they’re also celebrating doing an exam today. I’m talking to one of them when her friend comes over to see what I’m writing down. The friend is clearly drunk. She holds on to the railings beside us but still sways slightly as she talks. She can’t focus. I tell her the article is about student drinking patterns, and she gives me her two cents: “Yeah... [long pause]... yeah it’s such a problem. All these kids hammered, it’s like... it’s a problem, all the alcohol they’re drinking isn’t good...”.

A bunch of girls who look like models are going on to the Palace after the Pav. “Yeah we’re not drinking that much tonight, going to stay sober and -” “You are SUCH a liar! You’re so hammered already! Oh my God, you are the least sober of ALL of us!”. Cue a lot of laughing from the girls.

It’s all a lot calmer in the Buttery. There’s a couple of boys discussing politics in the corner. From casual eavesdropping it’s hard to tell whether they’re hammered or if they’re usually this hard to understand, as their conversation jumps from topic to topic.

A girl at one of the tables tells

TNT

Cover Story / Sex Column

3

Too Much? The Sex Column

Sorcha Lyons questions whether or not three’s a crowd “In my experience, Irish men, in a committed relationship, do not want a threesome.”

I made this statement one evening and it has got me into a lot of trouble with a lot of Irish men I know.

They have all denied it, slagged it and have been unable to let it go… “AAHH, look at the size of that spider, that’s almost as terrifying as my other fear… a threesome.” Cue raucous laughter.

However, my comment did not come out of nowhere and the more they berate it, the more defiantly I feel I must defend it.

It is common knowledge that the “ménage a trois” is the fantasy of choice amongst most young men in this world. Two beautiful soft delectable females pouring all their attention over one lucky guy, kissing and sucking, licking and teasing and making one man the centre of their world for at least an hour or two.

Despite the bravado and boastings, Irish men are not up for some threesome action

Cigarettes and alcohol me about how strict the barmen in the Buttery are about serving people who are clearly drunk: “One time, they refused to serve this girl that I know cos she was hammered, so she asked me to buy a couple of drinks for her. I did, but the barman figured it out somehow and followed me back to her table and told me I couldn’t give her the drinks. It was pretty unfair but I guess he was just doing his job”.

One boy I talk to is driving tonight but is annoyed at the price of soft drinks in the Buttery: “It’s crap, a pint of soft drinks is almost the same price as a pint of beer. It’s not much of an incentive not to drink for f***’s sake. It’s the same everywhere, you think they’d bring the prices down a bit”.

The Buttery isn’t as crazy as the Pav was. Most people are just here for a quiet drink on a Friday evening, rather than planning to go out somwhere afterwards. There’s none of the flirting, the shouting, the messing around that there was in the Pav. “The Pav is more for pissheads on the pull,

the Buttery is for a drink with your mates”, one boy in the Buttery tells me.

Despite all the drinking that went on tonight, it doesn’t hold true for all students. A lot drink sensibly. A lot don’t even drink at all. Current SU President John Mannion is one of them, as is Ents Officer Niall Hughes (despite his rather misleading election campaign slogan ‘Hughes for Booze’). The College Alcohol Policy has seen a big change in the promotion and giving out of free alcohol by societies.

The biggest problem in changing our attitude to drink is that whilst everyone agrees that there’s a problem in our attitude to alcohol, no-one thinks that they personally have a problem with the way that they drink. That’s why when it’s written about in the media it sounds so puritanical, so out of touch, so unfun. Whilst getting drunk isn’t the worst thing in the world, a new approach is needed to convince us of the dangers and problems involved with binge drinking judging by tonight, the message simply isn’t getting through.

Photographs (including cover photo) by Richeal Carroll and Cian Kennedy

I wonder where this fantasy comes from; the aspiration to be served and worshipped or simply the love of the female form? When quizzed, some male friends of mine confessed that they’re into the three-way for lots of different reasons. One talked about the sexual power that he would have when two women are completely concentrated on him. Another said the opposite, how the hottest thing for him would be the fact that he would be over-powered by two predators- two hot females who want their wicked way with him and won’t stop until they are sweating, breathless and completely satisfied. There are other aspects that really turn people on- the voyeuristic idea of being with two other people as they have sex and totally let themselves go.

As a young Irish woman, growing up in the ever increasingly cosmopolitan world of Dublin city, my friends and I are developing and exploring our sexualities. We’ve collectively discovered that although it is undoubtedly a turn-on for most Irish men to watch some lucky man pump into two buxom American bombshells on the television, it seems that Irish men are not partial to a slice of the real girlie sandwich. As soon as their girlfriend actually suggests

cranking the sex up a notch and inviting the hot girl from across the bar in for a bit of fun, the men hesitate. Oftentimes, the girlfriend will just seductively suggest it to turn her beau on… but the more seriously it is suggested, the more uncomfortable he appears. Despite the bravado and the macho boastings about their cock, when it comes to the crunch, Irish men are not up for some three in the bed action. Why is this I wonder?

As with most phenomena, there are a number of reasons: fear of ineptitude, insecurity, and emotional reasons.

Men love the threesome fantasy. The key word is ‘fantasy’; if you took this and made it a reality, it is likely that the mystery, the danger and the naughtiness would be removed- it never could be as good as each man’s specific fantasy.

Especially when faced with the reality of the threesome- awkward slipping around, jealousy and the aftermath. They have to deal with their own emotions and those of their partners- they have to take a good long look at their relationship and wonder if this sex act is a sign of unity or a sign of weakness. Is it a positive sign that they can embrace the intrusion of another partner or is the fact that they felt the need for a third a negative sign. The latter idea comes laden with feelings of sexual and emotional inadequacy and can further exacerbate a hostile relationship. So women, if you want to give your man exactly what he wants in order to save or improve your relationship, a threesome is definitely not the way to go.

The threesome is the food of young, single people on holidays- it conjures up ideas of three people who don’t know each other very well having spontaneous fun and enjoying themselvesthey only have to think of themselves and their own pleasure. They are not constrained within a relationship. They are also not influenced by love and jealousy.

In all, threesomes are a good laugh provided they occur outside relationships and are safe and wet and hot.

Within the relationship, it’s a different story. All you people, who read this and disagree*, just wait until you are in love and have met that special someone… you too will never want to share. *That goes for you, in the rugby shirt, scratching your balls.

4

Feature

TNT

How to Get Ahead in Whether it’s getting wet with the Boat Club or tempting the boys from Sci-Fi out of their den, Chloe Sanderson presents the definitive guide to scoring in college

F

or years historians have argued over how it came into being, politicians muse over how it should be governed, it can be in, out, good, bad, and it appears that Oscar Wilde wrote all his plays about it; but as the tenth shot of slightly suspicious Lidl-acquired liquor slipped down my throat, I couldn’t help but wonder was it really going to get me lucky?

Societies are, it seems, the lynchpin of Trinity Life. Of course you can go through your four years avoiding them avidly, and find solace in matching Adam Chemistry to Eve biochemistry, eventually settling down with that special someone who caught your eye across a crowded lecture hall (or sussed how drunk you were and used the advantage as you slid down the walls at Slapper Face Jacks). But if you hope to ever tonsil tango with someone outside your course, societies are where it’s at. The big question is however, which society holds the richest pickings for a not-too-self-respecting Trinity singleton?

This question led me all the way to finding myself washing away my last semblance of dignity, and fighting with a bunch of complete strangers for the last dregs of beverages that look like they had been constructed by an ADHD chemistry student on acid. I had followed the yellow brick cobbles

all the way round the Fresher’s Fair and here I was wallowing in alcoholic abandon with a large number of slightly bronzed, long haired, bearded gentlemen with a fetish for neoprene rubber, ready to ride the wave of beautiful men that I’m happy to say make up a large proportion of the Trinity Surf Club.

Sci-Fi will probably be glad to see you even if you look like the bride of Chewbacca...

On waking with an unusually horrific sense of how much I drank last night, the reality hit, I, Chloe Patricia Abigail, Ingle Sanderson (an absurdity of a name), had entered a society. And as I scrabbled over a carpet of newly printed cards, half chewed lollypops, and free condoms, only to discover that my wallet had been robbed of all its cosy warmth of shrapnel, it occurred to me that I may have entered just a few more than one. I’d like to pretend that as my alcoholic haze slowly lifted I remembered running joyfully into the outstretched arms of each of those little stalls because deep down I wanted to expand my horizon to a plethora of new enriching life skills.

Perhaps instead I could convince you, dear reader,

that I undertook the following social experiment, surrendered my money, joined so many of these guilds purely for your information and delectation, an insider’s look for the outside world so to speak.

The answer all boils down to this: Trinity is life, life is a scary place, plaice is a type of fish, and in truth this writer had a little fishing to do herself. What I needed to know was which society produced the best catch? With any luck by the end of this article we may have a definitive answer.

The important thing you may find in the rocky road of society dating is that each society has its points of beauty, be it male or female, but attached to each one comes the necessity of complying with a few society rules. For example should you be afraid of getting wet it’s probably best to avoid the Boat Club -luckily for me the thought of getting wet under the careful instruction of eight men had a certain appeal. The Boat Club provides Trinity with the pleasure of boys and girls with toned bodies, great stamina, and every term or so, the Rowing Massacre, a night that sacrifices their fresh healthy livers, and blurs their vision just enough to allow us lesser post Christmas mortals a chance of taking home one of those stripy little blazers.

Of course if an action man, or woman, sounds like a little too

Rich pickings in the Boat Club, Sci-Fi (picture not necessarily an accurate portrayal), Players and Music Soc

much hard work there’s always one of the more sedentary societies to take your dating fancy. I decided to try out the second largest society around: The Phil. If you can ignore the vaguely venereal disease sounding title, this option does have its advantages. They come with their own rather large semi-detached property, a penchant for providing copious free drinkage, and the likelihood of meeting at least one z-list celebrity. Just be warned that should you choose this option, past experience shows that they may not be quite as big as their boots suggest, and 99% of the action you’ll be getting will be postering.

Ever the fearless reporter my research has even taken me into alien territory. The Sci-Fi society, resting at the top of House Six, proved to have a pleasing male to female ratio. That means they’ll probably be glad to see you even if you look a little like the bride of Chewbacca. Plus, being fans of the obligatory Pav Friday when bored of The Endevour (Oh dear Lord a sci-fi joke, I’ve been invaded!), you can always move on from one of the Sci-Fi guys to the Palace’s hoards of little Green Men. Then there’s the cluster of societies which are really just an extension of some dusty faculty or other. The Eurostuds have some moderately lively parties which aren’t too difficult to crash, and

TNT

Feature / Fresher Column

Societies although it has been said that French is the language of love, take time to honour the Germans, after all they ‘liebe dick’, brochvurst, David Hasslehoff, and they’re very VERY efficient.

If we’ll admit to it we’ve all at some point or other in our sordid little lives imagined that that little gyrating voice box of lyrical love coming at you through the romantic pixels of MTV are in fact not merely singing for their 50Cent supper, but singing a love song written exclusively for you. Enter the Music Society, a litany of lyrical lovelies that could pluck at your heart strings or at the very least offer a quick fiddle.

On the artist theme, Players offer the chance at a truly exclusive relationship; pop up to the studio, they’ll offer you a cup of tea, take your soul, and spit you out at the end of four years thinking you’re happier being someone else. Plus for my male readership there’s the added danger that you might start to think tights and makeup are acceptable in the name of art, though I suppose it could be worse - after all the Caledonian Soc boys like wearing skirts, and the Visual Art Soc spend a whole heap of time perving on people who wear nothing at all.

Lastly, although not officially a society the safest bet for

something pretty to look at is surely the Trinity Fashion Show.

Probably best avoided if you find height intimidating, this collection of coathangers won’t cost you too much in dinner dates and should you ever find yourself accosted by the Gardaí after a few too many Bavarias then these beauties will perform the art of straight line walking long enough for you to scarper quicker than they can shout Pete Doherty.

Sadly this article can’t offer you a comprehensive survey of all the societies CSC has to offer, after all no one wants to be a society whore. However should the bevy of beauties I’ve listed not take your fancy there’s a full list at: www.csc.tcd.ie from which to take your pick. Plus, as we all like to get a little out and breath and sweaty from time to time the 50 or so sports clubs DUCAC has to offer means you can put away the Barry White and get straight to the good stuff. Now due to the fact that I spent more of my childhood looking like a ball than playing with one – it’s a vicious circle that ends with cake – I couldn’t tell you much about their individual merits.

What I do know is whether it’s the dregs of or high society you’re after, in the question of boy meets girl, in the end only you can decide which society rules.

Surf Club: “Bronzed, long-haired gentlment with a fetish for rubber...”

5

The Fresher Column Jason Robinson has a novel way to impress the person you fancy in college So after the much needed break, it's back to college again. Just when college work was fading into the back of most students minds, it all comes flooding back again. Exams. Essays. Tutorial Work.

And blah. And blah. And blah.

But hey, it ain't all bad, and I don't think we can really complain. First up,however, I must apologise. For everybody out there who does read this column, I really did want to have some cringeworthy stories about my Christmas to share with you all. Grandparents buying me big woolly cardigans; GranAunts harassing me and stuff of that nature. But unfortunately, everything went down well in the Robinson household this Christmas. No interfamily murders this year. No maiming of the family's black sheep. No sacrificial rituals. Andto make things worse, I had a good New Year aswell. Instead of lounging around putting off essays and the like, I decided to join my half-Kiwi friend on a short trip to the far-off land of New Zealand. Most of you, I'm sure, will remember the New Year passing through in a blur of drunkeness. I however, was in transit to New Zealand.

Trust an Irish person to be somewhat sad at missing out on New Years drunken revelry while travelling half-way across the world...

Last issue I made a few comments about BESS girls, and it seems that some have taken offence. And rightly so...

So, two and a half weeks of friendly New Zealanders, racial stereotypes ("Oh you're Irish? To be sure, to be sure. Be-gosh and be-gara"), a never ending amount of McDonald's, empty Irish bars and most importantly, Japanese camera-wielding tourists. In all seriousness, how do they do it-they're EVERYWHERE!?Ahem. I love the Japanese.

But seriously, if any of you are thinking of heading off far from Ireland this summer, New Zealand really has lots to offer. Personally, being a bit of a pansy, I only partook in a bit of wakeboarding, kayaking, trekking and so on, but for the more adventurous, you can do stuff like Zorbing(being rolled around in a giant sphere!), bungy jumping, sky diving and all that jazz. So hey, take a trip there if you can. Carpe Diem and

other words of wisdom.

So waffling about my trip HAS been beneficial...I think...Moving on...

Last issue, I made a few wee comments about BESS girls. It seems however, that all BESS girls have taken offence by these- rightly so, you thick gits. Nah ONLY JOKING. I REALLY like Bess girls. No seriously, I really do...

So, this issue I hoped to have a wee report about a visit to Starbucks you know that strangely appealing looking building about a minute away from Trinity? Appealing BUT deadly, so I hear. But, due to being some thousands of miles away, it was not feasible. I also hoped to have my concept of "Ecumenical Deathmatch" brought out into the open, which I suppose I can do.

Basically, like many Freshers, I've heard rumours of a strange Trinity College rule whereby a Protestant can challenge a Catholic in a duel in Front Square. Now, details are sketchy, but over the next month, I will try find out more. Personally, I think the possibilities are endless. American commentators going crazy. Cheerleaders. Maces.

Tridents. Chainsaws? RTE could really make a pretty penny out of it. Think about it- There's a guy/girl you don't like- you don't quite know why.

Suddenly, you find out they are a different religion to you- BAM! Challenge them in the greatest battle of all- "ECUMENICAL DEATHMATCH." Bad taste?

Maybe. Good idea? Most definitely. The campaign for more fatally violent sports in college, and indeed our society, starts now...

Anyway, to round off another poor attempt at humouring Trinity students, just have to say I've sold out and become a true Trinner student. It was the penultimate day of the Library opening times before Christmas. It was five minutes to 5. The desk wouldn't take my book. I was going to leave it back, but due to peer pressure(the cause of all societies problems) from an older student(how could I not be influenced?!), I hid the book in a different shelf to collect the following day. I'm sorry.

I'm a bad person and deserve whatever is coming to me. I'm now going to drown my sorrows and hold my head in shame whenever I enter the library. It's only fair. Anyway. On that note, I will bid you all adieu. Welcome back, everyone!

6

Interview

TNT

Breakfast with Cillian TNT’s Cillian O’Conchúir talks to Cillian Murphy about dropping out of college to act, his favourite co-stars and being nominated for a Golden Globe for ‘Breakfast on Pluto’ The year just gone by saw the emergence of Cillian Murphy onto the summit of the Hollywood scene, as he starred in two of the year’s blockbusters. He first attempted to destroy the world as Dr. Jonathan Crane (Scarecrow) in Christopher Nolan’s, Batman Begins Then he played the villainous Jackson Rippner in Wes Craven’s thriller, Red Eye, the film which many believed the best thing about it was the performance of Cillian Murphy and that of Rachel McAdams.

An almost childlike enthusiasm is evident as he talks about his co-stars in Batman Begins. “I’m a big fan of Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman. I got to meet them and they were cool.

Let’s put it this way; you get to meet legends like that.” The film also saw his first role as a villain. “It was something that I had never done before. It had really good directors and a really good script, so I thought I’d give it a go”. His role has contributed to one of the most asked questions, about his fear of being typecast as a villain, something he has no concerns about “I have made ten feature films and I have only been the bad guy in two that just happened to come out one after the other.”

A native of Douglas, Co. Cork, he was a late starter on the acting scene.

He started out as a guitarist in a Frank Zappa inspired band called ‘Sons of Mr. Greengenes,’ and studied law in University College Cork before embarking on a journey which led him to a Golden Globe nomination.

Cillian Murphy, the best thing to come out of Cork since... er... ou don’t make movies to get awards! You make movies to make good movies,” states Cillian Murphy, commenting on the recognition he’s received since being nominated for a Golden Globe for Breakfast on Pluto, alongside Johnny Depp, Pierce Brosnan and the eventual winner Joaquin Phoenix. “I was thrilled to be nominated. I put my heart and soul into Breakfast on Pluto and worked very hard. I believe very much in the film and I love the character.”

‘Breakfast on Pluto’ opened in cinemas on January 13th and Cillian found he had a challenge in bringing the character of Kitten, a transsexual, to the

“Y

big screen. “It was challenging in that I had to play a man who wanted to be a girl, who was still a boy, who doesn’t have a dad. He had to grow up and wanted to love. It is a very complicated part and a part that I fell in love with a lot and I have a lot of affection for the character.”

It is often said that the Golden Globes are an indicator for the Oscars, so what does he make of this talk? “I say that’s fair enough. It’s too foolish to dwell on things that you have no control over. All I can do is believe in the film and the part that I have played. If they decide to nominate me I think that’s great but I have my life to live.”

“Fame is all over rated. I’m just doing a job and this is part of it” He once said: “I’d probably have been wealthier if I had stayed with law, but pretty miserable doing it.” So how close did he come to choosing a life of misery over what he humbly describes now as a ‘privileged position?’ “Well I did it for a year and a half, but I failed my first year. Then I passed the exam and then I ditched it. I always felt that I could go back and continue if I wanted to, but it just wasn’t the right course for me.”

He might not have been where he is today if were not for his persist-

ence. “After going to see a couple of theatre shows in Cork, I found them quite appealing and wanted to pursue acting.

My family thought I was an ejit and thought it was all going to fall apart. I went and I knocked on the door of a theatre company in Cork and they gave me a job in Disco Pigs.”

In 1997, Quando saw Cillian appear on the big screen for the first time

“If I’d stayed studing law I’d probably be wealthier but pretty miserable doing it” and it was an opportunity he didn’t let slip. “I had seen Cillian in the original production of Disco Pigs by Corcadorca in Cork,” says Declan Recks, director of Quando. “He was outstanding in that production and from the moment he ran onto the stage everyone knew he was someone to watch out for.”

By all accounts Cillian made the stage his own but many have tried to make the step from theatre to film and failed. “My only concern at the time,” continues Declan Recks, “was whether or not he could rein in the huge energy that was evident on stage. But he was incredibly focused and learnt very quickly how to tailor his talents to the camera.

It was a small part for him but anyone who saw the film couldn’t but notice his very obvious screen presence.”

He made his television debut in the BBC mini-series, The Way We Live Now but it was as Jim in 28 Days Later (2003) that Cillian was launched onto the world cinema stage, which he followed this up with a leading role in The Girl with a Pearl Earring, alongside Hollywood’s golde Scarlet Johansson and Colin Firth.

He is slow to mention any names in relation to preferred co-stars.

“I’m not going to say I prefer some to others. It would belittle the others.

Brendan Gleeson is a special favourite of mine. He is a bit of a hero of mine and he has been very good to me all the way through my career. Liam Neeson as well.

All these guys have been very important to me and very supportive. I have met so many interesting and fascinating people doing films and theatre that I could never choose one above any of the rest of them.”

TNT

Interview / Our Man Abroad

Murphy While some actors make no secret of their extravagant lifestyle, Cillian seems to have his two feet firmly on the ground, quickly dismissing any suggestion that he is a celebrity. “I don’t consider myself a celebrity. I’m not interested in that sort of thing. It is a very privileged position to be in, to get travel around the world and to get to meet interesting people. I get to do something that I want to do.”

He also was sceptical of the impact of fame on actors. “Fame is all over rated. I’m just doing a job and this is part of it. I just want to make a piece of art. That’s all I really want to do. All this stuff is nice, but I’m not really into going to parties. I would like to have a couple of pints with my buddies and that’s important to me.”

He plays the part of ‘Capa’ in Danny Boyle’s eagerly awaited Science Fiction film, Sunshine, which witnesses him attempt a rescue mission to the sun which is on the brink of dying out.

“There is a group of us on a spaceship flying towards the sun and I’m a good guy,” he adds, referring to the endless questions about him being typecast as a villain. “I have worked with Danny before and I think it will be an amazing film.”

The Wind That Shakes the Barley will also reach cinemas in 2006, but Cillian wasn’t giving much away. “It is about the war of independence in Ireland in Cork; the flying columns, Tom

Barry and the Civil War. I think it will be quite controversial and should raise a few hackles in Cork. It has a wonderful director in Ken Loach and it was an amazing experience.”

“I’m not really into going to parties. I like having a couple of pints with my buddies” Apart from these two further films being released in 2006 Cillian looks forward to spending time with his three month old son, Malachy. “My family are the most important thing to me in the world and everything else is second to them. My life has improved one hundred fold since my son was born. He is the most amazing little man in the world.

I love him and he is what makes life important to me.”

“Looking at his career choices he seems to have been able to achieve the delicate balance of commercial movies with more art house fare and I always look forward to seeing his next movie,” concludes Declan Recks. Cillian finishes by listing off names of actors he would like to co-star alongside in the future. With his talent, laid-back attitude to fame and ability to take on the most diverse of parts, we predict an Oscar on the horizon for Cillian Murphy.

Cillian in Red Eye, 28 Days Later and Breakfast with Pluto

7

Our Man Abroad David Traynor is finding exams in Salamanca very different from TCD ¡Hola chicos! I hope the new year is maybe giving a polite nod to the profestreating you all well. It was with a sense sor, but even that is not necessary. of depression that I trudged back to Today's exam wasn't too bad Salamanca last Saturday. I wished I but I have a tough one on Monday and could have stayed longer. I only had two then an eight day break until my last weeks on the Emerald Isle before I came one. It's been a real wake-up call to see back to the harsh reality of exams and the serious side of university life over assignments. For the first time in my here and God knows it's been good for life, coming home felt more like a holime but I can't wait until next term when day than anything else. there will be less to worry about and the It was great to be home, though, weather is getting warmer. because it felt like a holiday. I spent the You may have seen Spain in the whole time meeting up with friends and news recently for jumping on the everfamily, almost having to tick off a list of growing bandwagon to introduce a people I had to visit. Needless to say, I smoking ban. It came into force here on didn't get to see half of them. So, I the 1st January as part of the Antiarrived back last Saturday after a 14 Tobacco Act which, among many other hour journey through Stansted, taking measures, aims to combat Spain's love the cheap Ryanair option. I won't be affair with the cigarette. So, as you can doing that again for a while.. imagine, when I returned to Salamanca The next day, I was straight after the holidays, I expected to find a back into the swing of things with an rejuvenated, smoke-free Spain. But, alas, assignment due for Monday. I can't realno. As my flatmate and fellow European ly complain though. It's only the second Studies student, Siobhán said, they just piece of work I've had to hand up this seemed to miss the whole point. The term. Whether or not they're just lenient only thing I noticed different was that on Erasmus students, it seems the gener- bars now have signs up saying "It is peral workload over here is lot less than that mitted to smoke in this bar. (Smoking is of Trinity. I've only had to do one bad for your health.)" When I asked one assignment and a presentation so far. of my Spanish flatmates about this, he Anyone else I know here, Spanish or said, "Well, small bars can choose if Erasmus, has had a similarly low workthey're smoking or non-smoking and load. large bars have to provide a non-smokI've also been busy studying for ing area." In other words, Spain opted my exams. Courses here are fully semes- for a cop-out; a half-baked diluted smokterised so the first term ends on the 23rd ing ban, not the Mícheál Martin-style December and then there are no classes "all or nothing" ban which seemed to until the start of the second term, which come into force so seamlessly in Ireland. is the 30 th January. I have three exams Only in Spain.. this month, the first of which I did today.

So, that's all my news for the Exams are an extremely differmoment. Next time I'll be talking to you, ent experience over here compared to I'll have my exams out of the way and what I was used to in Trinity. First of all, hopefully passed so I can start focussing past papers are not disclosed, so, you are again on my social life. Until then, given very little of idea of what type of ¡hasta luego! questions and what areas of the course are going to come up.

Second of all, you do your exam in a classroom with your professor. It is much less formal than Trinity and you don't have to deal with those demonic invigilators.

If you need to leave to go to the toilet, you just get up and go, Salamanca in wintertime: Photo by Jago Tennant

8

Politics

TNT

A Long Way From D4 Derek Owens asks what next for Ivana Bacik, the Labour Party’s Great Red Hope?

RTE's 'Questions and Answers' isn't normally an occasion of high drama. In Kerry, though, they do things differently. Just ask Ivana Bacik. Appearing on the programme near Dingle, she suggested that a recent drop-off in tourism had some connection to hotel owners and shopkeepers charging extortionate prices. "That may be the case where you're from," a spirited Kerryman interjected, "but you're a long way from Dublin 4 now!" The studio erupted. The heckler may have sounded like a character from 'Deliverance', but he had a point. Even before being interrupted, Bacik looked out of her element, warning against the "rehabilitation" of Charles Haughey in an area with long-standing affection for him, showing open contempt for Sinn Féin in the county that elected a gun-runner, and struggling to suffer fools gladly. It's an admirable trait that our criminology professor, who appeared not so long ago as the saviour of champagne socialism, refuses to mince her words. It's also a quality that could just derail a promising political career.

After three unsuccessful election campaigns (for a TCD Seanad seat in 1997 and 2002, and the 2004 European Elections in Dublin) most politicians would be considered a failure. A credible haul of 40,707 votes in 2004, though, her willingness to articulate intensely-held (if unpopular) views, and the aging, increasingly lethargic Labour party made Ivana Bacik's relative youth and energy all the more striking. In a party composed of has-beens and neverweres, Bacik seems like the great red hope, an outspoken, confident voice on the moderate Left. There's growing evidence, though, that this outspoken nature and her growing public profile as a liberal firebrand (not a contradiction in terms), is becoming a problem for her. It's already managed to scupper at least one speaking engagement.

Fordham University, where she was due to speak on immigration and the law, cancelled her appearance in September. This was due, she asserts, to the intervention of Cardinal Edward Egan, and her stance on abortion. The incident says more about Fordham University's intellectual cowardice than it does about Professor Bacik's suitability to speak on immigration, but is a worrying sign of how her reputation as the uncompromising, slightly shrill voice of South Dublin liberalism precedes her. Her recent decision to bring a case before the European court of human rights on behalf of the group 'Safe and Legal in Ireland', hardly dispels this image. It's brave, even in today's Ireland, to argue the case for abortion as a fundamental human right. It's also electoral suicide.

Lest we forget, Bacik's priority at this point in time, if she still harbors political ambitions, must surely be to win public

office. Her chosen party, her background, and her views make it hard to see her having electoral success outside the socially liberal, affluent and left-leaning districts of South Dublin. A quick look at individual constituencies, though, show that securing a party nomination, let alone a Dáil seat, is going to be a battle. Her home constituency of Dublin South East is shared with Ruari Quinn, who struggled badly to retain his

Conventional wisdom holds that there's only one Labour seat in this threeseater constituency.

Conventional wisdom is right. seat in 2002. The former Labour leader is highly unlikely to accept a running mate so soon after his brush with unemployment.

Next door, Dublin South Central has a sitting Labour TD in the form of Mary Upton, and an ambitious local councillor in Eric Byrne. Byrne has had two stints as a Dáil deputy already and, with a hard election campaign looming, (both Fine Gael and Labour are anxious to poach a seat from Fianna Fáil) Labour members are more likely to go with the experienced poll-topping local councillor as Upton's running mate. Dublin South-West, meanwhile, is solidly working class. It's also Pat Rabbitte country. Not only is Bacik's party leader ferociously territorial (his declining personal approval ratings and the tendency o f

Labour leaders seeking re-election to struggle won't do much to change this) but the area also has another left-wing Dáil deputy in Sinn Féin's Aengus Ó Snodaigh. His continuing rise, and the prospect of a clash with the dangerous Rabitte, should be enough to warn Bacik off this area.

On the face of it, Dublin South seems an ideal home for Professor Bacik: a constituency with five seats, and no Labour TDs. The one problem is that Labour have already had their selection conference here - in fact, the battle for the Labour nomination was a dead heat, and county councillor Aidan Culhane's name had to be drawn from a hat. Tagging Bacik's name on the ticket in an area where the party is both divided and lacking electoral support wouldn't be the smartest thing Labour's central office has ever done. It would also alienate local activists, including Culhane himself (and Alex White, the unlucky loser at the convention). Strangely, a tie-breaker situation also cropped up selecting a candidate for Dublin Mid-West. This time Joanna Tuffy (who performed strongly in the last general election) got lucky, after failing to beat Robert Dowds, another ambitious councillor, in a straight vote among local party members.

Conventional wisdom holds that there's only one Labour seat to be won in this three-seater constituency. Conventional wisdom is right.

All this leaves one potential home for Bacik in South Dublin - as a running mate to Eamon Gilmore in the volatile Dun Laoire-Rathdown area. There are several seats here for the taking - Cieran Cuffe of the Greens has never really recovered from embarrassing revelations about a notso-green share portfolio and F i o n a O'Malley, the i n e ff e c t i v e Progresssive Democrat deputy, is strongly tipped to lose her seat.

Ironically she managed to alienate local PD activists by putting friendship above party loyalty, campaigning for Bacik in the European elections - returning the favour by muscling into her friend's constituency and nabbing her Dáil seat would certainly prove Bacik's determination. It would also earn her the reputation as a coldhearted harridan. There's also Éamon Gilmore, pessimistic about local Labour support and unhappy about the prospect of a running mate, to think about, and a local organisation dominated by ex-Democratic Left members. These more traditional Irish lefties are far from certain to take to the university professor. There is a hope for a seat in this constituency, but the complications may be too much to overcome.

There is no such thing as an easily-won seat. For Bacik in 2007, though, it's even more problematic. There simply isn't room for her in any South Dublin constituencies, while sending her out beyond the pale would be a waste of a fine candidate. If Bacik is to find her way into Leinster House, it's probably going to be via the back door of the Seanad. She can either hope that Labour fights its way into government (and that a Taoiseach's nomination falls her way) or she can do it for herself. This will entail a nationwide charm-offensive on county councillors, or another tilt at a Trinity Seanad seat. On the face of it, the latter course looks far more realistic: She narrowly lost out to Senator Mary White in her 2002 bid for a seat in the Seanad, and White has already declared her intention to retire rather than stand again. A sitting senator, David Norris, may have the left-leaning liberal votes already well staked out, but her high national profile should still help sew up election here.

So a Seanad seat at least is a real possibility for Labour's new hope in the next few years, and David Norris should quite rightly be spooked. But then what?

The safest course of action would be to sit tight in Leinster House, waiting for her constituency colleague Ruari Quinn to retire gracefully and leave her with a clear path to the Dáil. By then, though, it could easily be 2012, and who knows what bright young thing will emerge for Labour in the meantime? Five years spent in the Seanad could expose Bacik to damaging media scrutiny, or worse, anonymity. The voting public are less deferential to unknown senators than they used to be, particularly in Dublin. The Trinity professor may be talented, intelligent, and (in the right area) very electable, but she has trapped herself by her temperament, views and background in the already overcrowded political pond of South Dublin. The great red hope's career in politics may be effectively over before winning a single election.

TNT

Politics

9

The Kids are Alright - The Case for Youth Politics Carl Fox Irish politics suffers from a rather serious and debilitating confusion. As a state, we seem to be unable to distinguish between which issues are local, and which are national. I’ve no idea who said that all politics is local, but I’d like to give the individual in question a good shake. This kind of thinking has been holding our political development back for generations.

In this country, local government is a joke. Very few people take it at all seriously and it’s commonly seen as a training ground for a run at the Dáil. This is neither the case, nor how things should be. Local government exists for a very specific reason, namely, and forgive me if you saw this coming from the start, the governance of local issues. That’s its remit, that’s why it’s there. Unfortunately, the tendency is for everyone to simply ignore it and go straight to the local T.D. with any problem. If a concerned citizen needs a third speed bump on the road, or the sink fixed, or possibly someone to water the flowers then it’s his/her representative in the national parliament that gets a call. Now, generally all a T.D. can do is to refer the matter to the city or county council via a question, or pass it off to a colleague on said council. With the end of the dual mandate, T.D.s have no real power to get a playground built or a new set of traffic lights installed.

However, the perception still persists that

they’re the only ones who can, and we continue to elect politicians on the basis of what they’ll do for us, and the local area.

The whole country seems to be missing the point of having a national parliament at all. They’re all there to discuss issues of national significance, and make decisions based on the good of the nation as a whole. Questions about how we want our society to proceed have national answers. Education, job creation, standards of employment and so on, are not challenges that we can deal with on a unitary level, in a fragmented way. We need to untie the hands of our representatives and we need to learn to take a broader view of politics and re-evaluate what it is that we want to get out of democratic elections.

This is where youth politics and involvement with political parties in college should prove invaluable. There seems always to exist a certain suspicion of mainstream political activism, in that participants are often seen as enhancing their C.V.s and looking to further their own ambitions. And it’s amazing how easily people are turned off political discussion by mistrust of motives and personalities. Whether you agree with them or not, college political parties are providing an almost unique facility, they’re offering to debate and argue theory and practice in a way that’s not constricted by the unfortunate realities of electoral politics. You’re not their constituents and they

aren’t expected to appease you. When college branches and youth organisations talk about things like social policy and economic theory they’re discussing the national concerns that we don’t generally see our T.D.s coming to us on the doorsteps about.

Don’t treat on-campus political activity as merely an extension of political parties. There’s a fundamental difference in the essence and character, a difference that needs to spread outwards.

It’s not just the level of idealism, it’s the freedom to pursue national, and even supra-national, objectives without the hindrance of immersion in the nitty-gritty of local affairs. I think everyone who’s involved in politics at almost any level regularly feels the temptation to go

Athenian on the silent, apathetic majority, and if you’ve read this far then I see no reason to restrain myself this time. A democracy is as strong, or as real, as the amount of participation by the citizenry, and the depth and breadth of its understanding. There has to be a responsibility to engage with the political process and how this takes place is crucial to the development of politics in Ireland and further afield.

Youth politics can be the grounding that gives future leaders the imagination to take this country away from the all too pervasive culture of locality and blinkered self-interest. It is capable of producing generations of politicians prepared to make the structural changes necessary. It can also be a way for us all to raise consciousness of the national issues that get swept under the carpet by the fuss made over their counterparts that, while important, are simply too confined and insular to impinge on a national legislature. Early involvement at a theoretical level may not seem practical or useful to many, however, it is one established and straightforward way to broaden the scope of our collective view of government, and hopefully instil a radically new approach to the use of the colossal amount of energy and activity expended on politics in this country. Who would argue that it couldn’t be better spent than on false promises and phoney posturing?

Carl Fox is Chair of the Trinity Branch of the Labour Party

Is This the End of the Liberal Line?

Hugh Roche-Kelly sizes up the would-be leaders of the LibDems Ahh... Charles Kennedy's gone. I know he wasn't great, but at least he was human. He was the most liked British politician, even if we now know that was more to do with a steady flow of intoxicating vapours that emanated from his rosy cheeks at all times.

British politics has lost an essential component in the love triangle of party leaders; the affable drunkard has up to now provided a counterpoint to the machiavellian Cameron (who has recently been using his handicapped son as a pity card) and the image consultant-in-training that is Blair. (I mean, really, that video diary? Good God it's truly painful to watch. I didn't even want to watch it, I was looking for pornography).

So who is going to replace him? Well, between now and the first week of March there should, in theory, be just as much back stabbing polemic and ranting that characterised the Tory leadership race in 2005, so we can all look forward to a riveting... oh wait. Sorry, this is the Liberal Democrats, they don't do exciting. Which is why Kennedy will be missed. Ah well, time to move on and that… But to whom?

Well, the guy who’s provisionally in charge is Sir Menzies Campbell. He would have been an obvious enough choice- elder

statesman and all that- was well respecteduntil he stabbed Kennedy in the back (probably with a bottle). Et tu, Menzus. If he were to gain the leadership, he would, apparently, rid the contemporary political debate of “flim flam,” according to the party’s former leader Lord Ashdown. Most people use cough syrup for that. Besides, the flim-flam mightn’t have to worry too much. Many former loyal supporters of Sir Campbell

have turned against him over the fact that he really made it pretty obvious that he was spending the nights between Kennedy’s admission and Kennedy’s resignation saying “excellent…” a lot. And the fact that his nickname is “Ming” is just a bad idea. Also, he’s old. Er. This seems to be the entire campaign against Campbell so far, basically he’s an old fart with a stupid name. Sir Ming.

Honestly.

The man waging (perhaps “wagging” is a better word, remember what party we’re talking about) the aforementioned campaign is, well, funny looking. His name is Mark Oaten, and he looks like the sort of person who eats things called ‘toad in the hole,’ ‘spotted dick,’ or ‘bread and butter pudding.’ He’s got the private backing of Kennedy, but whether or not this is a good thing is yet to be seen.

If he focuses too much on the unceremonial ‘decapitation’ of his predecessor, he’s going to be seen as belonging to the old school of ‘nice and easy there’ Lib Dems. (i.e. amiable drunkard.) Even he seems philosophically cynical about his chances, stating that even if he himself does lose, then Campbell will “only be a stop gap measure” (the implication here presumably

being that he’ll be dead soon). Campbell is the favourite among MPs, but the entire

The entire campaign against Campbell so far is that he’s an old fart with a stupid name. Sir Ming.

Honestly... point of Oaten’s campaign seems to be that he believes the same handful of MPs who kicked Kennedy out shouldn’t be the ones who decide the new leader.

Hmm. Well, no one’s really going to be that excited about it all. Things were going ok- big increases in the last election (that could, admittedly, have been better) and a leader who was despite all his faults among the chief attractions of the party. Sir Ming will probably end up in charge, but as Oaten so cruelly pointed out, he won’t be around for long. Kennedy’s departure has left the party in considerable trouble and Campbell’s likely election will divide the Liberals further and lead to inevitable instability. Trust the Lib Dems to misstep at another crucial point.

Cartoons by Michael Church

10

Talking Heads

TNT

Q: Who would be your dream act (alive or dead) to see play at the Trinity Ball this year?

Interviews by Christine Bohan U2 - I know it’s unrealistic but to see them play here would be legend Katherine McGovern, JS Geography and Sociology Republic of Loose would be deadly. Did they play last year? Damn I missed them.

It’d be cool to see them though.

John Dillon, JS Economics and Business NWA. It’s a pity they broke up about 15 years ago Peter Henry, SS Biblical and Theological Studies Classic Beatles played a few years ago and they were brilliant, they should bring them back Andrew Latham, SS Politics and Sociology Bell XI. I don’t know if they’re too big for the Ball

now cos they sold out the RDS but a couple of them went to college here so it’d be cool to have them back Rachel Merrigan, SF French and Italian Take That are playing in the Point a couple of weeks before the Ball so maybe they could hang around Dublin and play here. So many memories!

Aoife Sherlock, SS Sociology Muse cos there’s no-one comparable to them and Matt Bellamy is one of the most talented musicians ever Maeve O’Gorman, JF English and History

again Marc Faulkner, JF Theoretical Physics It’s a bit on the unrealistic side for a whole lot of reasons but Led Zeppelin Darragh Gannon, JF Engineering Weezer! The last allbum was a bit ropey but they played Dublin twice last year and they were excellent Christine McDermott, SF Philosophy and Political Science

like to see. Going to their gig in a couple of months anyway so that’ll be cool Breda Smith, JF Nursing Kanye West would be legend Enda Lyons, SF Sociology and Social Policy Damien Dempsey. He’s playing Rag Week but he can just come back again for the Trinity Ball.

Thomas Nulty, JF Engineering

Thin Lizzy but not the halfassed reformed version, the Manic Street Preachers, if proper one with Phil Lynnott they played loads of the early Patrick Brunkard, JF stuff.

Nursing Penny Harte, JF Theoretical Physics Maybe Arctic Monkeys cos The Kaiser Chiefs, if they’re they’re on the rise so it’d be not too big for it.

Bob Dylan a good time to get them and Billy Fogarty, SS Electronic Fox Alexander, JF French there’s actually a chance of Engineering and History getting them Joe McGinchey JF BESS Aslan. They played the Bon Jovi put on the best live Buttery in October and I show I’ve ever seen so The Sultans of Ping think they could rock it up they’d be the act I’d most Jen Davis, JS Year History

Bell X1, Weezer, Oasis and Take That: The oddest Ball line up ever

TNT

Fashion

11

Thrift Store Fabulous at your Fingertips

Retro Styles, Asian Silks, 70s glam and 80spunk. All part of the thrift store experience in the city’s southside. By Carmen Bryce. Photos by Richeal Carroll and Cian Kennedy Divert, if just for one afternoon, from your usual commercial shop hopping and open your eyes to the plethora of thrift and vintage stores around Dublin.

A treasure chest of second hand fashion and vintage funk from every corner of the globe. Spots such as Wild Child on Camden Street, The Market Arcade on George’s Street and The Harlequin on Castle Market are a must see for affordable and unique treads.

A store that time forgot, The Harlequin is a haven of styles from every era, from 40’s sophisticate, 60’s retro and 80’s sparkle .Opening the store 12 years ago, mother and daughter

Bollywood cinema.

If you’re looking to embrace the 70s vixen screaming to get out and boogie on down then hit the garment and furniture store Wild Child for disco and hippy kitch for every occasion.

Based on the premise that the 70s glam never goes out of fashion, Wildchild is crammed with gear straight out of Saturday Night fever. Its funky attitude puts the fun back into fashion and if the clothing doesn’t grab you then maybe the collection of groovy furniture, giggletastic dress-up gear and eye-catching gadgets will. Pick up accessories such as slinkies, beanie chairs, stash boxes and Playboy playing cards, for both the ladies and the men here.

Its time to turn your back on Topshop and get set to embrace the thrift store experience that is sweeping

Base Store is the best for men’s street wear in the shape of hilarious slogan T.Shirts, trendy hoodies and the most popular of stock, the classic army jacket. Boasting visits from Richard Ashcroft and Cillian Murphy (before his latest film role perhaps) this store captures the essence of Brit-pop culture with credible styles that are rough around the edges.

Another store with more street cred and cool than Liam Gallagher himself is the delectable Retro. Manager

The range of vintage gear available at Wildchild on Camden Street. such as a range of bags jumping off the rack for €9 and a variety of elegant Asian dresses for no more than €20.

Similarly, for a taste of the Orient, visit Om Diva which houses a range of Asian garments and flowing, silk gowns for feminine and seductive fashion. Twenty five year old manager Siohan Lynch prides herself on the authenticity of the fabrics, sporting bags made out of Indian antique wedding gowns and modelled closely on

A treasure chest of second hand fashion and vintage funk from every corner of the globe... team Susan and Fiona Smyth know what it takes to make a store of this nature successful. The tiny shop is literally crammed to the rafters with authentic leather and fur lined coats, hand crafted dresses, print t-shirts of every colour and slogan under the sun and timeless accessorises that will never go out of fashion. The second-hand gear is in superb nick and reeks of authenticity as many of the garments have been perserved in mint condition since the 1930’s.

Perfect for a lazy, browsing Saturday with paycheck in your back pocket is the Market Arcade. It’s easy to lose yourself for hours amongst the unique styles of English, American and Asian designers. The best stalls in my opinion are Retro, Mahorani, Base andthe unique designs of Om Diva. The

Ann-Marie Dabiri has filled the store with designs from London, Germany, Spain and New York, cramming the shelves with a fusion of fabric and styles for both guys and dolls. The store is over-stocked with Sex Pistols badges, Blondie wigs, Ramones T.Shirts, 1950s dotty dresses and punk-tastic accessories. The most eye-catching items are those from small London-based company ‘Charles,’ that cater only for Retro and pride themselves on their unique blend of punk patterns and print.

On the opposite end of the fashion scale, Mahorani is the place to visit for elegant Asian styles, ranging from hand-crafted, patchwork silk bags from India and Pakistan to Japanese kimonos and accessories shipped over from the far East. This is one of the cheaper stores with jaw-dropping offers

Dress to impress in Asian fabrics and shriking oriental colours at Om Diva.

the nation. Even millionaire celebrities, such as Sienna Miller and Kate Moss have been snapped rummaging through the racks in search of authentic vintage gear. When it comes to thrift store shopping, its worth putting some time in, making shopping an experience rather than a chore, even for the men.

Cheap, funky and full of surprises, it’s simply a student’s prerogative to do it thrift store style.

Put the right foot forward in The Harlequinon on Castle Market.

12

Books

TNT

This month TNT Books is suffering from a severe case of the winter blues: Anna Ni Chaoimh hates herself and wants to die, while Paul Earlie’s girlfriend is in a coma...(not literally!)

Girlfriend in a Coma Paul Earlie indugles in some wallowing as he reviews Douglas Coupland’s novel I’m a big fan of melancholia. It’s one of the finest forms of self-indulgence, like sarcasm, or shopping in Marks and Spenser. If melancholia, is then: to become the new opium of the as-yet-adolescent masses (angst is just so passé). Where are we to get our fix? ‘Girlfriend in a Coma’ would probably be a pretty good place to start.

To read ‘Girlfriend’ is to wallow, flounder even, in everything that makes life (and in particular youth) blow. The book’s author, none other than the “Poet Laureate of Generation X” Douglas Coupland, sums things up quite succinctly: “Your 20s are muck and shit and pain and loneliness and horror.” Fair enough. If this kind of relentlessly bleak (and frankly hostile) outlook on life offends some of your more tender sensibilities, best look away now. ‘Girlfriend’ is not for the faint of heart.

And yet, as I started reading I decided that this is a book everyone should before their twenties, or at least during their twenties. The feeling of oppression and density which suffuses the first half of Coupland’s novel is much more than admirable: it’s damn near aweinspiring.

The year is 1979. Richard, a perfectly mediocre American high school senior, deflowers his girlfriend on a ski slope, then takes her to a suitably out-of-control party where she proceeds to mix drinks and drugs (uh oh) and ultimately hurls herself headlong into a 17-year coma. As you can see, the plot is relatively unadventurous – three parts boy-meets-girl, one part It’s a Wonderful Life, a dash of the X-Files, crowned with a light sprinkling of metaphysics. What makes the book different is the fact that Karen (the “girlfriend” of the title) eventually awakens from her extended coma and promptly delivers some home-truths about her now middle-aged friends’ modern lifestyles. It’s an interesting take on an old formula, and for a few chapters at least it manages to sufficiently rouse the reader’s sense of intrigue.

Karen’s rebirth into mid-nineties Vancouver provides the novel with a rather neat division, which unfortunately doesn’t work much in the book’s favour. The disjointed structure of the book (it almost seems like two books) leaves something of an aftertaste in the reader’s mouth, and not a good one. This is perhaps the novel’s biggest flaw. On the one hand, we have the unadulterated melancholia of the first half of the novel as Richard and his fittingly diverse (some might say implausibly so) group of friends cope with the aftermath of Karen’s coma, while simultaneously trying to balance the nightmarish journey through their twenties. This section works, in the truest sense of the word, as the reader joins in with Coupland’s ever-degenerating cast as they scream questions about existence to which they are never given answers: Why is there so much suffering in the world?

Why can’t I find someone? Why am I so lonely?

Now these are universal questions, and they’ll doubtlessly strike a chord with pretty much anyone who picks up the novel. However, things begin to take quite a dramatic downhill turn as soon as Coupland attempts to provide answers to these questions, mostly through the medium of Karen’s physical and spiritual reawakening. To do this, Coupland employs a typically clichéd apocalyptic scenario: Karen’s rebirth heralds the end of time itself (no, seriously) in the form of a plague that causes people to nod off into a deathly sleep (or coma, if you will). The chaos that ensues form this plague is entertaining enough while it lasts, as civilisation itself begins to implode, and Mother Nature returns to reclaim what was so rudely stolen from her in the first place.

Unfortunately, instead of playing around with this

scenario and seeing if he can find a new perspective on things, Coupland goes and botches everything by having his preachy prophet Karen and her (at this point) unbearably whiney friends make fairly rudimentary statements about the shallowness of Generation X, their unquestioning devotion to the technological age, and their utter lack of spirituality. This is a mistake. Fables (and in particular moral fables such as this) work by dissimulating their message, by being merely suggestive, not by having their characters pause, look at the camera, and make sweeping statements about modern youth culture.

That said, I just can’t dismiss the first half of the book as easily as I can dismiss the book’s second half (with its sudden injection of fantasy and its woefully clichéd ending, which one of Coupland’s characters actually identifies at one point as being a kind of inverted version of It’s a Wonderful Life – groan). I mentioned earlier Nietzsche’s clever little subtitle, and that deserves an elaboration. This is a book you should read while young, before middle-age hits, and everything starts to seem like the End of Days. Just save yourself the sermon and stop before the half-way mark: there’s plenty of time for lectures in the real world.

“I Hate Myself and Want to Die” Anna Ni Chaoimh cheers herself up by reading Tom Reynold’s first book There are songs that make grateful to be alive, some that make you cry, and others that simply make you want to get the razor blades out and run a nice hot bath.

What is it about depressing songs that makes them so memorable? Is it the gutwrenching lyrics, the story behind them, the melancholic melodies? Tom Reynolds, in I Hate Myself, and Want to Die; The 52 Most Depressing Songs You’ve Ever Heard, describes depressing song as one that ruins your day when it comes on the radio The introduction concentrates on the history of depressing songs, beginning with Homer, and its irreverence is quite witty. Reynolds goes into great detail on the urban-legend of ‘Gloomy Sunday’, the song whose lyrics have been found at the scene of over 100 suicides and has been banned in many

countries. The collection is broken down into 10 categories of doom and gloom, with labels such as ‘She Hates Me, I Hate Her’ and ‘I’m Telling A Story Nobody Wants To Hear’.

Reynolds is moderately witty and does have a good understanding of the technical aspect of these songs, which is interesting if you like that sort of thing. He draws attention any semiotic and scientific mistakes, which is very amusing. For example, Evanescence, he points out, uses the term ‘resonating light’ in ‘My Immortal’ but light doesn’t resonate. Also, in the Counting Crows’ song, ‘Round Here’, ‘no-one notices the contrast of white on white’, which displays an unfortunate misunderstanding of the word ‘contrast’.

He can be seriously conserva-

tive and sometimes just very wrong judgments; He describes Joy Divisions ‘Love Will Tear Us Apart’ as ‘a tad obvious’. However, half of the fun is in disagreeing with his sweeping judgments and getting fixated on the song he’s missed, or fuming about the fact that he has targeted songs you quite like.

At times, he confuses depressing music with just plain BAD music.

The fact that his criteria aren’t properly set down gets quite frustrating because surely Celine Dion’s version of ‘All By Myself’ and Pink Floyd’s ‘Comfortably Numb’ can’t be considered depressing for the same reasons?

If subject matter is what makes a song depressing, where are the obvious choices like The Smiths, Elliot Smith, Lou Reed, Nick Cave, Radiohead, and the band from whom the title was taken,

Nirvana?

Or, if it is just really bad pop music that fits the bill, why is he so concerned with the navel-gazing projects of accomplished artists. Having said that, including a CD would have been a nice touch. As it stands, I look forward to the release of a CD, so that I can sing along with a hairbrush in one hand and a razor in the other. It ends on a strong note, with a complete countdown of doom, ranking the songs from numbers 52 to 1.

This is the perfect crescendo to a book that perfectly suits this time of year; People feel low, suicide rates are high and summer feels like an eternity away.

TNT

Theatre

The ISDA’s are acoming soon...

With the biggest event of the year on the horizon, Hilary Term is looking like a good opportunity to see the cream of Student Drama, David Lydon reports.

Christmas has been and gone, we’re well into the New Year and Hilary Term has arrived, bringing with it the promise of the Irish Student Drama Awards, or the ISDA’s when they’re at home. Every Easter, colleges from across the country compete in the prestigious awards, making it the most important event in the calendar of any self-respecting student theatre company.

The ISDA’s have proved very successful for Players over the years, with last year’s UCD-hosted awards earning several successes for the plays entered. This year, the awards are taking place in Cork, and Players will be looking to add to the numerous awards that the society has already

won.

As the awards are looming on the horizon, speculation is rife regarding the playsthat are to be selected. The Players committee assess every play from the previous year, before deciding upon the three or four that have the best chance of doing Trinity proud. This term alone there are two shows a week from week 3 onwards until the end of term, so there are plenty of potential candidates.

It’s too early into the term making any predictions, but all of the plays that are being performed are likely to be strong candidates.

From a audience perspective, take the opportunity to see as many of the shows as you can, as this term is already shaping up nicely. You never know, when Players return triumphantly from the ISDA’s you could claim to be one of the lucky few too have seen the show before it was famous!

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The English Patient visits Dublin The Dublin Theatre scene eagerly anticipates the appearance of one of the industry’s most versatile and famous names as Ralph Fiennes comes to town. Fiennes has earned fame for playing diverse and often controversial roles such as Count Laszlo de Almásy in the English Patient (1996) and Amon Goeth in Schindler’s List (1994), both earning him Oscar nominations.

Last year was one of his most successful, with roles in Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit, Hary Potter and The Goblet of Fire and The Constant Gardener. The latter has received considerable critical acclaim, with many critics predicting another nomination at next month’s Academy Awards.

He will be appearing in Brian Friel’s play Faith Healer at the Gate this February alongside Ingrid Craigie and Ian McDiarmuid, established stars themselves, in Jonathan Kent’s production. Fiennes is no stranger to the stage, having appeared in, amongst others, Hamlet on Broadway, which earnd him a Tony Award.

The play marks another collaboration between Friel and The Gate, who have expressed their delight at working with “Ireland’s greatest living playwright” in one of his finest plays.” The Gate website

describes the show as “the tale of Frank Hardy, a Faith Healer, who has spent a life-time touring the decayed villages of Scotland and Wales with his manager, Teddy, and his wife/mistress, Grace.

Now he accepts that he must return home to Ireland, a destiny he can no longer postpone. The story of their touring and of their fateful return is told in separate, often contradictory, stories by Grace and Teddy and Frank himself. These narratives taken together make up a mosaic that is both compelling and terrifying.”

Not surprisingly given the hype surrounding the play, expectation is high for what should be a must-see. The Irish Times have already heralded the production as being “Absorbing fiction… brilliant and profound…

an infinitely fine play.” Faith Healer has the potential to be the biggest piece of drama Dublin has seen for a long time, and the public interest generated by the stellar cast will ensure tickets will be difficult to get hold of. There is already talk of the show transferring to Broadway in April, with 2005 Tony Award winner Cherry Jones taking Craigie’s role. If you go to one show this term, make it this one.

Faith Healer by Brain Friel (directed by Jonathan Kent) begin its run in the Gate Theatre nightly from the 7th of February. Previews start on the 2nd February. For more information, visit the Gate’s website, www.gate~theatre.ie

Ralph Fiennes, in Dublin now

Stuarts, Iguanas and Henry VIII in London After a strangely quiet summer London’s West End has been awash with hard-hitting drama this winter, reports our London Theatre Correspondent Mark Wright The Donmar Warehouse’s inspiring production of Schiller’s Mary Stuart now coming to the end of its run at the Apollo is an incredibly powerful examination of corrupt political machinations. The play which charts the final days of Mary Stuart’s life in the run up to her execution by Elizabeth I contains two of the strongest female roles in theatre with Janet McTeer and Harriet Walters, playing Mary and Elizabeth respectively, dominate the roles. Their animosity, shaded by an almost bitter mutual respect, makes for powerful viewing, especially when offset by the strong ensemble of hideously spineless and reptilian politicians who surround them.

In contrast Tennessee Williams’ Night of the Iguana at the Lyric falls down slightly on it’s company, some of whom occasionally seem to lapse from their intended Texan accents into a slightly bizarre and misplaced Devonshire lilt.

However the three central characters; a defrocked priest turned tour guide

(Woody Harrelson), a horny beach cabin resort owner (Clare Higgins) and a travelling high-class female con-artist (Jenny Seagrove) are phenomenal. The play has its comic moments, and will be familiar territory to Williams’ fans, dealing with

Woody Harrelson

loneliness, rejection from society and insanity. For a moment, like the characters themselves, we almost believe redemption is possible as opposites appear to attract but it is not to be and the mournful aching desolation which the playwright specialised in will stay with you long after the curtain has fallen.

There is a searing, almost painful, emotional emptiness. It is the silent, soulwrenching cry which no-one will hear, a vision of humanity lost in tragic isolation.

And finally, Robert Bolt’s play A Man for All Seasons, which opened last week at the Theatre Royal, Haymarket. Of the three, this is the weakest script but by the end you won’t notice. The play’s subject is the fall from grace and execution of Sir Thomas More by King Henry VIII for refusing to acknowledge the royal divorce and rejection of the Roman Papacy. Whilst the script itself never addresses More’s inner demons over his decision it redeems itself by sticking

very closely to transcripts and diaries from the day. Martin Shaw’s representation of the lawyer saint’s canny defence of his position, and his resolute obedience to the King exerts terrifying depths of humility and faith. The rawness of his betrayed and perjured against (yet unbroken) figure is breath-taking and the production which is cleverly staged between two staircases is an awe-inspiring showcase for the man Benedict Nightingale last week declared the most gifted actor on the British stage. Shaw drew a standing ovation the night I saw it and it’s not hard to see why. If you have to swim to get there, it’ll be worth it.

Want to write? That’s a good idea! Promises of free tickets, artistic credibility and general popularity beckon...

Emails to lydond@tcd.ie.

14

Staying In

TNT

Hate Something, Change Something: Ads We Hate to Hate Hannah Scally “Marge, if we don’t watch the commercials it’s like we’re stealing TV” Homer explains in one episode of The Simpsons.

I was reading an article the other day that was talking about companies using more product placement within shows to counter the increasing problem of what they called ‘ad-avoidance’.

Avoidance is right. Bad ads are people you’ve met and know, just know you never want to talk to, ever, ever again. They turn you into a horrible person. That Meteor lap-dancing ad, in male or female form, is one that would make me dive behind a post-box to get out of the path of. And the Maltesers ad with the giant women on space-hoppers. The Tayto ad with the “He loves me, he loves me not” madwoman meanwhile, I would be prepared to scramble over small chil-

Bad ads are people you’ve met and know, just know you never want to talk to, ever, ever again... dren to get away from. Other approaches are to blank it as if it’s not happening, to pretend you’ve never met it before, or, when truly stuck, to shout at it in skincrawling irritation. Sometimes, perversely, you can decide to watch them anyway as an excercise in resilience - ‘going for the mental burn’, if you will.

Prime bad-ad candidates, incidentally, include car ads (tedious), mort-

gage/loan/insurance/claim ads (tedious and depressing), ads for shopping centres in Northern Ireland (agressive and depressing), and the absolute worst, ads for anything in the Midlands.

Advertisers, meanwhile, are busy thinking up ways to trap you with them at the bus stop. My response to that was “well, if they didn’t make the ads so bloody tedious (see above), I wouldn’t try and avoid them.” One of the reasons I love watching rubbishy late-night TV is because the breaks are about one ad long.

Then, I remembered my friend and I singing the Hellman’s Mayonnaise song out of sheer disbelief to a group of bemused Scottish people in a pub, because they have Hellman’s ads over there, but not the theme song, and the fact that my sister and I once discovered we could jingle-sing our way through two thirds of the contents of our fridge.

And some ads, anyway, are brilliant.

Everyone talks about them and they go on for ages and then a new one is brought out using the same gag, and then another and another until the Duracell bunny dies. Same old.

What I have noticed cropping up recently and with more proliferation are the programmes about ads - The 100 Best Ads Ever, Tarrant on TV, that annoying Ed Byrne one with the terrible graphics. Apart from the fact that this is TV cannabalism on a new level - a having-already-tipped-the-crumbs-out,going-back-and-licking-the-flavouringoff-the-packet sort of thing, (That better not be the subconscious effect of the

Hate something, change something: The cartoon Honda ad

We feel very sorry for the guy that she’s after Tayto reference) - they actually often make quite good telly (feel free to start that sentence again if you got lost).

Better, surely, than Pat Kenny talking to some RTE presenter or other about their new show on RTE which will be on after this.

Wikipedia (all hail) tells us that the first ad ever was broadcast in 1941 in the U.S., for $9 during a baseball match.

It also tells us that the half hour programme today is around 9 minutes shorter that the same programme in the sixties - and that re-runs of sixties shows are almost certain to be cut by that 9 minutes to allow for more ads. Somehow, this manages to irritate me, even though I don’t exactly watch a lot of sixties TV, particularly in the U.S. which is what they’re talking about.

Love-hate? Maybe. Whatever.

Honda, the people who brought us the ‘Grrr Song’ ad (hate something, change

something, make something betterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!) with the cartoon of the diesel engine, which I downloaded because it makes me feel happy - are bringing out a new ad. This seems to be a television event. Apparently it’s going to have a choir ‘singing’ the sounds of a car driving. By the time this article is printed, it will already be out and it might be rubbish. However. A really tiny part of me is anticipating that ad, and hoping it’s going to be good. Mustn’t steal.

Handy Hannah’s Helpful Hint: www.whatsthatcalled.co.uk has a list of most of the songs used in British ads, so if some tune is really bugging you, or you really like the song that accompanies the latest Ford car, you can find out what it is. Table quiztastic.

TNT

Going Out

15

Top 5 things to do in Trinity this week

After the success of the last one, the Mystery Trip is back. Tickets went on sale yesterday (Monday) from the SU shop and cost €25.

The trip is on Feb 2nd, and hits 3 venues in 15 hours

Ignore the less-than-complimentary review we gave it (below) and get along to the Rappers and Slappers night in XXI to officially launch Rag Week tonight. Tickets €5 from the SU shop

Bígí ag caint Gaeilge mar is é Seachtain na Gaeilge an tseachtain seo! There’s a County Colours Céilí and Speed Dating in the Buttery on Wednesday so dig out your fáinne and impress with your cúpla focail.

Suas are holding their by-now annual Bollywood Night in the Sugar Club this Thursday. Tickets €7 from SU Shop and Arts/Hamilton stands, with loads of spot prizes on the night

We’re a bit hazy on this one but we know that Damien Dempsey is playing the Buttery some time during Rag Week next week. Seize the day (hoho!) and make sure you go along to see him

The Club Review: XXI D’Olier Street Claire Keaveny and Donal Carey The holidays managed to fly by so fast with numerous social engagements, that club reviews were put firmly to wayside, until the deadline reminder email came a-knocking, we knew we were in trouble.

So after many a heated discussion about where to go at the last minute, Twentyone was somehow decided on, just like when we were young and unfortunately ended up in Coyote and to this day nobody knows how. Especially considering no one ever ever wanted to go there. Like this article it was a rushed last minute decision that everybody regrets.

The night we made it to Twentyone, it was raining; it always seems to rain when you go to Twentyone, anybody else ever noticed this? Maybe this is because the queues unwelcomingly long, and rain-soaked. They could realise this and actually let people in a rate of more than one per minute! When the long arduous wait is over, you meet the dullest banterless bouncers. They seem to have a dislike for when you don’t have ID with you, but eventually let you in, purely to fill their minutely quota.

Then you’re faced with the ‘death-trap stairs’, which for those with walking -down-stairs difficulties while sober is not a welcome sight. Combine this phobia people have with stairs and throw in the rain and you have literally a deadly combination. At the bottom of these death defying stairs, you’re faced with yet another banterless bouncer, who enforces an extortionate entry fee onto you. This fee is constantly high and not in tune with the rest of student prices.

You are really starting to wonder what you’ve let yourself into. Then you see inside...

The layout is badly organised, which is apparent from the cloakroom

Saturday from 11 o’clock. Oh and bythe-by it’s not a 21 only door policy (the name is actually their address!)

Scoreboard

“For those who can’t afford a taxi for two, they now have beds...” queue which is long and blocks the ladies toilets. This congestion gives science students ample opportunities to stalk the ‘ladies’. Ladies toilets are slightly better than average with larger mirror are - this is a requirement as we sometimes need time to reapply after the rain. The Men’s toilets are plentiful but a bit of squeeze; you get quite close to your neighbour but this homoerotic tension is eased by the ‘manly’ Ross O’Carroll Kelly (Southside Legend) extracts from his weekly Sunday Tribune column.

The next disappointment that Club Twentyone offers us is the bars.

There are only two for a venue of 1000 people. In the main circular bar, it’s elbows and fists in the usual scrum to get a drink, while in the lesser known side bar there is civil queuing to get a refreshing beverage or five because that’s how many you’ll get to avoid coming up again. This is no fault of the bar staff, but when busy they could really do with another bar or two.

Club Twentyones’ dancefloor should be a breakdancers dancing paradise, but most likely like us you have never seen this occur. The tyrannical

bouncers put an immediate stop to any fun activities on the dancefloor. They’re especially harsh in respect to having drinks on the dancefloor with a quick pinch on your arm and a guiding hand off the dancefloor.

On the upside, the new name change has seen the knocking down of the dancefloor divide wall that was just pointless. Other “improvements” include the new podiums that allow the ever so prominent B€$$ girl to flaunt her stuff, but then again how often is anyone ever seen in XX1?

We’ve all had a visit or two to the intimate corners back in the day and now they have made life easier on all those who cant afford a taxi for two back to theirs - they now have beds. These beds make the alcoves that bit seedier, and stains have been seen on the tasteful coverings (unlike the acts that occur on them).

They are trying to make it more appealing to us students with a designated student night with drinks allegedly €3, although we’ve all been seduced by similar unfounded promises by these guys before. And now for the part you won’t read….it’s open Monday to

Entry 0/5 – Always expensive, always queues, always raining. We just don’t like queuing there.

Bouncers 0/5 – Overly pushy and not up for the banter Bar Service 2.5/5 – Need more staff and bars Crowd 2/5 – No one ever really goes there, we wonder why?

Scoring ability 3.5/5 – Possible only if its Fresher’s Week and ya wanna get your ‘wink wink’ Music 2/5 – General pop and they never do requests for the ladies Toilets 4/5 - We like their toilets Bar Prices 3/5 - Sometimes cheap imitation drinks, heading in the right direction though with student night.

Smoking Area 1/5 - Pretty appalling but at least you can lick hand stamps so others can at least get in free Beds 4/5 - Where else has nice beds in a nightclub? Stains bring it down a mark though.

OVERALL SCORE = 22/50 A bad place now slightly better but why do societies insist on having nights out here?

16

Bits and Pieces

TNT

What’s burning up the TNT Office this issue... . Kanye West featuring Adam Levine - Heard ‘Em Say It is a measure of how fantastically cool Kanye is that he can take that gimp of a lead singer from Maroon 5, stick him on a record and make it sound this good.

Arctic Monkeys - When the Sun Goes Down Didn’t really get the appeal of ‘Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor’ but this Streets-soundalike is way better. Funny too.

All Time Love - Will Young Will Young was recently voted Sexiest Male Celebrity by Heat magazine. We can think of no better endorsement.

Separated at Birth

Provost of Trinity College Professor John Hegarty

Fast food mogul Colonel Sanders from KFC

One is an iconic white-bearded marketing phenomenon, famed worldwide for taking a second rate chicken joint and cutting costs unrelentently until he had single-handedly transformed it into a world beating corporate empire, capable of churning out thousands of chickens every year, with outlets as far away as India. And the other is... Colonel Sanders!

(Baddum-tcch! Thanks folks, we’re here all year). Yes it’s Professor John Hegarty, Provost and Colonel Harland Sanders, Legend. Both ruthless businessmen, hell bent on ensuring their legacy to their organisation with little regard for those who dare to cross their path on their road to glory, whether it’s millions of chickens coated in the special sauce or most of the Trinity Economics department. Both men are also proud purveyors of the oddest beards we’ve seen since well, puberty. Gentlemen, we salute you.

Psst...

Although candidates haven’t even been officially announced yet, one of the runners in the Presidential race has been talking about how he’s just in it for his CV and figures he’s going to get a decent job out of it. (And yes, we know this could

apply to other candidates, but it’s rare to hear someone being so open about it).

Unfortunately, those in the know don’t rate his chances at all - looks like he may be looking for that job sooner than he thinks...

Hot hot heat ‘Anchorman’ quiz in the Buttery last week Whammy! The cult following of the legend that is Ron Burgundy saw a packed Buttery for this quiz. More please

It’s time for...

Utterly Useless Facts of the Week!

The cafe in Habitat

1. Tom Dillon,the Deputy Pres of the SU has given blood (his own, we presume) so many times that the next time he does, they’re actually going to give him a gold pin for doing it. Makes us all feel a bit guilty here.

Facebook vs Bebo

2. There’s a holy well under the Nassau Street entrance to college called St. Patrick’s Well 3. The human brain continues sending out electrical wave signals for up to 37 hours after death 4. All mammals have tongues

For a tenner you can get some seriously excellent food. We recommend the chicken caesar thing

Which is better? Rate your own popularity (or lack of)

Damien Dempsey playing the Buttery Damo always puts on excellent live shows. Go early to get a seat

New series of Desperate Housewives Now that the novelty’s worn off it’s become sadly clear how ungood it is

Business students Dull capitalists who speak in that ridiculously off-putting management speak. And we’re not just jealous cos they’re going to make more money than us.

5. Alfred Hitchcock didn’t have a belly button

Rugby losses

6. A guidedog can’t tell a green light from a red one. It watches the traffic to know when it is safe to lead it’s master across.

The rugby first XV’s performance in the All-Ireland league this season. Sorry boys, we know you’re trying but come on, one win?!

No heating in House 6 Clarification: In the last edition of TNT, there was a reference to Fair City in the article ‘Beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ on the Fashion page. This comment was added in at the editorial stage and was not that of the article’s author.

Apologies for any offence this may have caused

Seriously, we’re freezing our asses off here.

Ice ice baby