San Diego CityBeat • May 17, 2017

2 · San Diego CityBeat · may 17, 2017

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may 17, 2017 · San Diego CityBeat · 3

UP FRONT | FROM THE EDITOR

Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems

A

staffing: SDPD failing to consistently meet minimum patrol staffing levels,” read Marvel’s statement.

This comes only weeks after Police Chief Shelley Zimmerman sat before the City Council and attempted to explain why—despite a five-year plan to increase recruitment and retention—the SDPD had made no progress. While there were increases in the budget for the City Attorneys office, the only additional funds allocated to address the issue were $150,000 for a study Arts funding on why the city can’t recruit and retain officers and The mayor initially called for a $4.7 million cut to another $100,000 to be spent on a national search to the city’s Commission for Arts & Culture, which profind Zimmerman’s replacement. vides funding for various arts organizations around However, we can’t blame the mayor for not the county. Faulconer’s Tuesday revision restored wanting to throw more money at the problem. some of that funding to the tune of $2.4 million.

With Zimmerman’s claims that 13 officers are Broken down a little easier: Arts funding will still leaving the SDPD every month and the SDPD be cut by $2.3 million. already being 200 officers short of what is It could be easy to see this concession as a recalled for in the budget, the problem sult of the public outcry over the cuts (see seems to be a matter of perception, last week’s editorial), but this is Politinot finances. As Councilmember Chris cal Budgeting 101. That is, the person Ward eloquently put it during the making the first move (Faulconer) Zimmerman hearing: “We’re funding proposes to slash something drasKevin Faulconer more, but not increasing the stafftically, and when the other person ing level.” Rather than simply taking (the public and the Dems on the City Council) says “No Zimmerman’s word for it, a study could be helpful in way!,” they find a way to compromise. diagnosing, exactly, why the city is having such a hard However, meeting in the middle in this case still time with finding and keeping police officers. means that some arts programs will suffer. Larry Baza, the chair of the Commission for Arts & Culture, told Homelessness Not much.

CityBeat on Tuesday that he does, indeed, see the Despite the resignation of Faulconer’s (not a) mayor’s revision as a “small victory” and cited Councilmembers Lorie Zapf and David Alvarez as being homeless czar Stacie Spector and the public outcry particularly helpful in getting some of the funding over the increasingly awful state of the homeless situation, the only new addition to the mayor’s budget restored.

“This is a step in the right direction,” says Baza, is a $66,038 expenditure for a new “Homeless Comciting the original $4.7 million cut. “We all under- mittee Consultant.” According to the budget, this new stand the city’s problems, but to be singled out for position will be in charge of consulting with the newsuch a huge cut… What’s good about the revision is ly commissioned Select Committee on Homelessness, that he [Faulconer] heard the outcry from the people which will be chaired by Councilmember Ward and in charge of updating the city’s severely outdated Comand the City Council.”

Baza says he isn’t sure whether Councilmembers prehensive Homeless Council Policy. It also states Zapf or Alvarez will settle on the $2.3 million cut, but that the position “is for Fiscal Year 2018 only.”

Whether readers’ biggest concerns are about pubthat he’s “hopeful and optimistic that we can do better.” lic safety, the arts or the dire homelessness situation, Police recruitment and retention this budget—while certainly commendable in its fisIn a statement released on Tuesday, Faulconer was cal responsibility and cautiousness—leaves a lot to be blasted by Brian Marvel, president of the San Diego desired. It will be worth watching the City Council’s Police Officers’ Association. budget hearing on Thursday to see if the mayor gets “The FY2018 Budget ‘May Revise’ announced this any more pushback. morning by the Mayor does not address concerns

—Seth Combs raised by the San Diego Police Officers Association about SDPD’s staffing struggles, nor does it respond Write to seth.combs@sdcitybeat.com to an immediate and growing consequence of low s this issue was going to press, Mayor Faulconer released a revised $3.6 billion budget (he called it a “May Revise” at a Tuesday morning press conference) for fiscal year 2018. And while there weren’t many drastic changes in the budget other than the fact that it increased, there were some interesting amendments and additions that proved to be both encouraging and dispiriting.

This issue of CityBeat just bought $353 worth of vape juice from the Alpine Tobacco Company. #YOLO #DragonsBlood

Volume 15 • Issue 42 EDITOR Seth Combs

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ART DIRECTOR Carolyn Ramos

CONTRIBUTORS Christin Bailey, Matthew Baldwin, Jamie Ballard, David L. Coddon, Beth Demmon, Andrew Dyer, Rachel Michelle Fernandes, Tiffany Fox, Michael A. Gardiner, Glenn Heath Jr., Lizz Huerta, Lara McCaffrey, Scott McDonald, Sebastian Montes, Jenny Montgomery, Kinsee Morlan, Jim Ruland, Ben Salmon, Jen Van Tieghem, Amy Wallen, Ian Ward

ASSOCIATE EDITOR Torrey Bailey

EDITORIAL INTERNS Sofia Mejias-Pascoe

ACCOUNTING Sharon Huie, Alysia Chavez Linda Lam

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4 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · MAY 17, 2017

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may 17, 2017 · San Diego CityBeat · 5

UP FRONT | LETTERS

WILLING TO DO MOST ANYTHING Thank you for your recent editorial regarding homelessness in San Diego [“Someone, anyone,” April 26]. By introduction I am a retired naval officer and businessman who has never really retired. By that, I mean I am the primary caregiver for my handicapped wife of 61 years who also has Dementia. I’ve been actively involved with volunteer efforts with some groups like Turning Point a women’s recovery home, Coronado Safe (Student and Family Enrichment) and Veteran’s Village of San Diego (VVSD) just to mention a few. At VVSD I have mentored several men who voluntarily enter their program of anywhere from a few months to two years. Many of these men and women have been homeless. Most of the information in the media has just focused on the problems and numbers rather than the symptoms and those characteristics of the population such as substance abuse, financial, mental & physical illness and what organizations might be able to help them. For instance VVSD screens veterans during the three-day stand down annually in July, of course they do the same admittance standards when a veteran contacts them at any time of the year. The key is to find out whether the homeless person is willing to do most anything for assistance and is sincere about it rather than just looking for shelter and food. We do know that not everyone who seeks help and solutions “sticks it out,” but some do and become useful healthier citizens.

I would be concerned if the only solution by politicians is shelter because those are only temporary stopgaps. I’m sure you’re aware that organizations like VVSD, Father Joe’s and Alpha Project are aware of potential “do’s & don’ts” when helping the homeless.

Finally, it would be interesting if we were able to feed, house and treat all the homeless, how many would be attracted to San Diego to continue the homeless cycle?

I would be interested in attending a meeting or take a call if you desire further dialogue!

Sincerely,

Ernest E. Kemp Coronado

PUSH THE PROBLEM DOWN Great article, Seth [“Someone, anyone,” April 26].

Seriously wish that had been your front page versus more Trump noise. but I get it that’s what’s grabbing eyeballs. But to the tone of your article, don’t people realize that what is grabbing real eyeballs for tourists, business visitors and all us locals is a terrible

6 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · MAY 17, 2017

image of our city. I couldn’t agree more. Why on earth isn’t this getting more action and leadership vs sports teams and convention centers? We should actually be ashamed of ourselves. We enjoy one of the most amazing places on earth. We should figure out a way to help people less fortunate and allowing wealthy developers “just” to push the problem down a block or two as they make millions is not the answer either. We’re new to the area... how can we make a difference on this topic?

Appreciate the article.

Chris White

Point Loma

NEEDLESSLY HYPERBOLIC

UP FRONT From the Editor............................. 4 Letters ........................................... 6 Spin Cycle...................................... 8 Sordid Tales................................... 9 There She Goz............................. 10

FOOD & DRINK The World Fare............................ 11 Dishing It Out ..............................12 The Beerdist.................................13

THINGS TO DO

Your editorial [“Wake up,” May 3] stated that it was too early for Chief Zimmerman to declaratively state that race played no factor in the La Jolla shooting; and also that Zimmerman’s comments were a way to control the narrative and make sure racial tensions didn’t boil over. I had the same thought but was inclined to give Zimmerman the benefit of the doubt.

However upon watching a replay days later, it struck me that at a time when matter-of-fact presenting of facts as we know them is the norm; Zimmerman’s tone and some choices of words; seemed needlessly hyperbolic; e.g. “...tragedy of epic proportion,” “...the victims just happened to be there at the moment in time when Selis decided to carry out his spontaneous act of violence.” And it really struck me that she characterized the act as “spontaneous.” I could be wrong, but going down to the pool with a loaded gun, and extra ammunition; that doesn’t strike me as spontaneous. I could give Zimmerman the benefit of the doubt if she was speaking extemporaneously, but she was reading from prepared remarks.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Dan Jacobs Mira Mesa

WILL NOT VOTE To the Editor: I hope thousands will join me in pledging to our Supervisors that we will not vote for their choice for interim District Attorney [“Incumbency interruptus,” May 10] should that person choose to run in the election—R or D; straight or gay: female or male.

David Cohen Hillcrest

The Short List...............................16 Calendar of Events................ 16-19

ARTS & CULTURE Theater........................................20 Summer Guide...................... 21-40 Seen Local....................................41 Film........................................42-43

MUSIC FEATURE: Kikagaku Moyo.........44 Notes from the Smoking Patio.............................46 If I Were U...................................48 Concerts & Clubs.................. 49-52

LAST WORDS Astrologically Unsound.............54

OF THE WEEK In honor of San Diego roads recently scoring a 60 on the Pavement Condition Index (the grading equivalent to a ¯\_(ツ)_/¯), we present a new weekly column devoted to our favorite holes in the road.

May is Bike to Work Month, but that can be hard when a bike commute means dodging giant potholes along the way. This week’s pothole comes from Acacia Collins, a Golden Hill resident who often bikes to work Downtown. This pothole was found on Broadway and 9th, right in front of Dog Haus.

Try to avoid it and commuters will just find themselves on what appears to be a large, extended crevice that looks like a giant vehicle drove over the asphalt before it was dry. “The buses have completely warped the pavement,” says Collins.

Have a pothole in your neighborhood or on your commute that has you fuming? Tell us about it. Send location and pics (but only if it’s safe to do so) to seth.combs@sdcitybeat.com.

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may 17, 2017 · San Diego CityBeat · 7

JOHN R. LAMB

UP FRONT | OPINION

SPIN

CYCLE

JOHN R. LAMB

A rift-wrapped wedding A marriage without conflicts is almost as inconceivable as a nation without crises.

—Andre Maurois

T

he headline in the San Diego Union-Tribune last week seemed more fitting for a salacious tabloid or TMZ than the normally staid local mainstream daily.

“Mayor’s top aide got married at bayfront estate of developer and SoccerCity supporter,” the header screamed, creating visions of barking ruffian tykes hawking newsprint on dusty street corners in bygone days.

Below the headline appeared a photograph of a boat-laden corner of San Diego Bay off the toney shores of Point Loma, a picture of tranquility that belied the tsunami of political hand-wringing and social-media sniping the story would generate.

The story, written by award-

winning Watchdog reporter Jeff McDonald, took us back to the innocent sun-splashed summer days of 2015, when President Agent Orange was merely a punchline without the nuclear codes. It seems a handsome couple were exchanging wedding vows on this August day in the backyard of a posh estate overlooking the bay, with a few dozen close friends and family in attendance. Officiating the ceremony, to add to the specialness, was Mayor Kevin Faulconer.

But this was no ordinary bayside hitching, the story went. This was Faulconer overseeing the wedding festivities of his loyal chief of staff, Stephen Puetz— the mayor’s “right-hand man,” as McDonald described him—at the estate of one of Faulconer’s most influential benefactors, ambitious local developer Morgan Dene Oliver.

The story noted that the August wedding occurred just months

8 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · MAY 17, 2017

before discussions kicked off between the mayor and peddlers of the mega-development SoccerCity proposal for the lonely Qualcomm Stadium site. Speculation has run rampant that Oliver, with his Faulconer connections, was a silent development partner brought in by the hedge-fund smarties at FS Investors to woo the mayor into backing the project.

Faulconer has called for a November special election on the $1 billion redevelopment plan, although the San Diego City Council has yet to sign off on that idea.

Opponents of the SoccerCity plan include other politically influential Mission Valley developers who, as the UT story noted, “have raised questions about the plan’s environmental impacts and permitting process.”

The story goes on to suggest that Puetz, who married former lobbyist and council aide Diana Palacios (now director of public affairs for the San Diego Padres), got a sweetheart deal that mere mortals would never have received from Oliver—paying just $427.23 for use of the venue and $340 for “post-event cleaning.”

While Puetz used a Zillow search to calculate the value of a day’s rental of the 6,500-squarefoot estate with private dock, McDonald suggested the “Oliver estate appears to have been a good

Mayoral Chief of Staff Stephen Puetz and ex-lobbyist wife, Diana, found a sweet spot for a wedding in 2015. Heads up! deal for the couple” by comparing the value to other waterfront wedding sites that run into the thousands of dollars.

Puetz, who did not respond to a request from Spin for comment, didn’t think he got “special treatment from Oliver,” the UT story said. “I consider him a friend and a mentor,” the UT quoted Puetz in the story. “He offered to let us use his house in Point Loma for the wedding as long as we paid for everything in full, which is very important to me and to my wife.”

The story quoted several ethics experts who shared mixed reviews about the arrangement, praising Puetz for at least running the deal through the city’s Ethics Commission office but also chastising him for creating the appearance of political chumminess. As one put it, “Most of us can’t go out and rent a multimillion-dollar house for a few hundred bucks.”

Stacey Fulhorst, executive director of the Ethics Commission, confirmed that Puetz sought advice on calculating the value of renting a portion of the property for the wedding and found his methodology “appropriate.” She said Puetz told her, “I’ve been offered an opportunity to have my wedding at a private residence, and I want to pay for all of the costs. Is there a value to me actually using the residence?”

The story set off a firestorm on social media—a rabid mix of insider-dealing admonitions and scorn for the paper’s decision to run the story, which Puetz defenders claimed emanated from SoccerCity opponents intent on political head butts.

“More garbage from the @ sdut. Stretching much?” groused local Republican Party Chairman and Trump enthusiast Tony Krvaric on Twitter. “Shame on editor Jeff Light. Glad I canceled my subscription of 20 some years in January. Sad!” “UT trashes the Puetz’ for following the rules,” another tweeter seethed. “Next hit piece about them paying their taxes on time

and in full gonna be riveting y’all.”

The UT’s Light took it in stride.

“I understand the sensitivity of the topic here—the wedding venue,” Light wrote Spin in an email Monday. “It’s a personal moment, and I guess, depending on your political allegiances, the inquiry here might feel invasive. I appreciate that.”

But Light fiercely defended the legitimacy of the story. “Consider the asymmetry in the relationship,” he explained. “On the one hand, we have the owner of a $9 million estate; on the other a couple with modest incomes and significant access to political capital.

The question this story asks is this: Why does the millionaire offer his bayfront home to the political couple? Everyone who is fussing about this story knows very well that our job is to ask that question.”

In response to one overblown tweet that suggested such a story could discourage civic involvement, Light seemed to bristle: “Stories like this don’t deter good people from public service any more than access to million-dollar wedding venues attracts them. That’s not serious criticism; it is simply people standing up for their friends. I wouldn’t make too much of it.”

Some questions in Spin’s mind remain unanswered, and again no one in the mayor’s office—including Faulconer—has said anything publicly about the story. Why isn’t the mayor defending his right-hand man? Did the mayor have a hand in arranging the nuptials location with a trusted campaign supporter?

And where the hell was the mayor’s usually adroit Optics Department when this deal first cropped up?

Look, perhaps there were extenuating circumstances that led to the choice of the venue. Maybe Puetz did everything legally required to clear the deal through ethics channels. Maybe the real loser in this saga is the SoccerCity squad, clearly attuned to bad optics heading into an uncertain future.

Cheers!

Spin Cycle appears every week.

Write to johnl@sdcitybeat.com.

@SDCITYBEAT

UP FRONT | OPINION

EDWIN DECKER

SORDID

TALES

There is nothing homophobic about cock holsters

I

’m sure you have heard about the controversy surrounding Stephen Colbert’s anti-Trump tirade he unleashed last week on The Late Show.

“I call [your presidency] ‘Disgrace the Nation,’” he said, before embarking on a string of harsh, though hilarious, insults ending with, “...the only thing your mouth is good for is being Vladimir Putin’s cockholster.”

Now, there are several reasons why people considered his rant to be offensive. Some thought it was disrespectful to the Office of the Presidency—to which I say, “The Office of the Presidency doesn’t have feelings, so piss off!”

Others complained that the jab was too obscene for network television, to which I respond, “It’s called The Late Show, as in late at night, as in—your brats should already be asleep!”

Then there was the allegedly homophobic aspect of the cock holster joke.

Now, typically, when a public figure says something controversial, it’s only one wing of the bi-political spectrum that reacts. However this was one of those rare instances when the backlash erupted from both sides.

There are the conservatives from Camp Trump (also known as Camp Cryabuncha) who are using Colbert’s supposed gaffe to show that liberals are as homophobic as conservatives—which is like visiting the primate exhibit at the zoo and concluding that America has as many baboons in America as in Africa.

Then there are the reactions from the PC mongers of Camp Cantsay-a-thatta—who believe the wisecrack was part of a homophobic trend of portraying President Trump as being gay for Vladimir Putin.

“Colbert’s decision to make this kind of joke illustrates a kind of casual homophobia that permeates American culture,” writes James Michael Nichols in the Huffington Post. “It positions sex between two men as doing something so mockable and inherently emasculating that it’s the ultimate ‘fuck you’ to Donald Trump...”

Sorry, James, but no. Colbert’s remark illustrates nothing of the sort. Yes, it is true that queer sex has been ridiculed for about as long as queer sex and ridicule have existed. But that doesn’t mean that every jape featuring homosexual behavior is inherently demeaning to it. So, humor me please as I attempt to unpack the bit.

The cock holster gag (oh cock holster, will you ever stop making me giggle?) is a simple, two-tiered metaphor. The first tier is that of unlikely bedfellows; that the diabolical president of Russia is in bed with (metaphorically) the President of the United States. The second tier italicizes their roles. We have a sexual dominant (metaphorically) lying in bed with a sexual submissive and, well, gay’s just got nothing to do with it.

Not convinced? Let me unpack it differently.

Oral copulation is not only a homo-erotic activity but one that is enjoyed by both hetero and homosexual couples. Stephen Colbert has no control over the gender of the subjects of this joke so—before we holler “homophobe” in a crowded whole foods house, we must first

ask the following question: If the relationship was heterosexual, would the essence of the joke remain?

For instance, if it was suspected that Hillary Clinton was colluding with Kim Jong-un during her presidential campaign, and Colbert made the same cock holster quip about her mouth, would it be less funny? I don’t know about you, but the idea of The Supreme Leader waving to the masses from the hatch of an infantry tank while Clinton services him from inside the hull cracks me the fuck up.

Wait, what now? You think that it is sexist to place the female character in a sexually submissive role?

Oh Christ! Is there no end to the crap you can’t say at Camp Cantsay-a-thatta? OK, fine, let’s try again; this time without gay or sub female characters.

What if it was suspected that Vice President Mike Pence was under the thumb of Olga Golodet, the Russian Deputy Prime Minister, and somebody posted a meme of Pence ball-gagged and bound in leather while Mistress Olga thwacked his ass with a braided flogger? Ok, so now we have a straight, white, cisgender male head-of-state being sexually humiliated by a strong, female head-ofstate. Well, see? Even without a hint of sexism or homophobia, the gag still works.

Or perhaps, could it be possible, you think I am, ahem, demeaning masochists for placing them in the sexually submissive role? Well whip my buttocks! I certainly don’t want to get anyone’s fetish cuffs up in a bunch.

I guess we need a scenario in which all sexual proclivities are portrayed so that none feel ridiculed. Fine.

Imagine this equal opportunity meme: A reporter is asking Kellyanne Conway about the Colbert rant. “I find it to be in poor taste!” she responds, after removing Donald Trump’s phallus from her cock holster.

“Stop moving around down there you two!” says Putin, while nearby a hog-tied Michael Flynn goes chin deep into the tundra between Mistress Olga’s legs. Meanwhile Jeff Sessions is getting plowed by the clowns of the Bolshoi Circus as a transgender KGB agent high fives the Jewish, Russian, midget masochist who is wringing out Pussy Riot’s borscht-soaked panties into Sean Spicer’s mouth.

Yes, a good time is being had by all at the Secret Kremlin Dungeon Orgy until—that is—Yakov Smirnoff walks in.

“What a country!” he blurts as everyone groans.

“Not again,” Ivanka whispers to her father. “That guy is a lousy lay.”

“Totally overrated,” Trump responds, to which Boris, The Dancing Donkey of Bolshoi, brays, “Eeyore!” in agreement and mounts The Donald’s donkey holster from behind.

And there you have it. An equal opportunity Russian collusion rant. So, for the last time, has the point been made without being homophobic, misogynistic, midgonystic, anti-Semitic or homo-donkeyphobic? I hope so. That’s all I’ve got.

I guess we need a scenario in which all sexual proclivities are portrayed so that none feel ridiculed.

@SDCITYBEAT

Sordid Tales appears every other week.

Write to edwin@sdcitybeat.com.

MAY 17, 2017 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · 9

UP FRONT | VOICES

THERE SHE

ALEX ZARAGOZA

GOZ

Your body is a battleground

M

y eldest sister recently spent an evening cuddled on the couch with my niece watching old home movies. Among them was a video of me in ninth grade getting ready for the Winter Formal.

After watching it, my niece felt compelled to send a 12 second clip of me, then 14-years-old, hamming it up for the camera. In it, I’m pulling my best ‘90s Cindy Crawford moves while rocking a tight, stretchy grey dress and what appears to be sequin-covered fish netting over it. My hair is pulled back tight in twists that end in spikes at the crown of my head, which was the look in 1998.

I pull my sequins net down to my shoulders, give a spin, run my hand up my leg like a dweeby Jessica Rabbit and land with a cheesy smoldering eye to the camera. I was wer-king it! Then, off-camera, her voice breaks my moment.

“Se le ve la gordura,” says my mom in her trademark bougie Mexican mom tone that’s both aloof and brash. You can see her fat.

Immediately, the smile and silliness fall from my face. I look down and touch my stomach, and then uncomfortably adjust that hideous netting back over my shoulders to cover up. I can hear my niece laugh as she’s filming. “Who says that?!”

My mom says that. She’s always said those sorts of things.

Seeing the video brought a wave of sadness. I grew up surrounded by this incessant criticizing of my body, just as every other woman has in varying degrees of nastiness and oppressiveness when factors like race, culture, size, privilege and class come in.

And we women know that has a way of multiplying.

We ingest that bitter body hate and often spread it around until, one day, we hopefully learn better.

From a very young age women are constantly told that their bodies are not good enough, sometimes blatantly and sometimes so subtly that we barely notice it. Yet it still adds water to a poisonous seed that reinforces the notion that our bodies don’t matter. We are conditioned to believe that our bodies are not our own. They are for others’ pleasure and use. Namely men’s.

This is problematic and dangerous in many ways, especially when it becomes an assault on our health and our lives.

It was infuriating to watch Congress squeak out enough votes to edge closer to a repeal of the Affordable Care Act (ACA), in the hopes of replacing it with a system that sees medical issues stemming from rape, domestic abuse and pregnancy as potential pre-existing conditions. Planned Parenthood would be defunded, leaving millions of women, particularly poor women of color, without the vital care the organiza-

tion provides them. This was all decided by a room of mostly dusty ass white men who likely finger the fold between your thigh and labia thinking it’s the vagina.

That’s not my clitoris, asshole. It’s a ligament.

Our bodies our not ours. These heartless, soulless Republican ghouls are making sure they remind us. When those in positions of power play with lives, all for their own political and personal gain, it proves how life only matters to them if they can own it. Especially the lives of the poor, women, people of color, the disabled, LGBTQI+ individuals and other marginalized communities. We are all dispensable if we can’t be controlled. And so we have to fight for our bodies; to protect them, rule them as our own and apparently even keep them healthy.

But how can we do that when we are so deeply conditioned to hate our bodies, even by our own mothers who have been conditioned themselves to loathe their body?

About a year after that video, I would rebel against my mom’s cutting eye in a typical angsty teen way I knew would irk her the most. I took control of my body by wearing baggy pants and spiky dog collars I stole from the pet aisle at Walmart. I hid it from her gaze. I secretly dyed my hair bright red with Manic Panic, then later yellow and purple using Kool-Aid. I fought against any beauty I might have had because I didn’t want my value to rest upon it. It was a reverse She’s All That, if you will. That in itself is a privilege I didn’t understand then. Must be nice to get to choose if and when you want to be “hot.”

But even in the midst of my beauty rebellion, I counted my lunch celery and drank laxatives after most meals because those words were planted into my brain as truth. Body acceptance is always a struggle, but I’ve made strides and so has my mom.

This is why we have to wisely choose the words we use with our daughters and around our daughters, especially when they will grow up in a world that devalues them and continuously attempts to seize ownership of their body. We need to arm our daughters with the undoubted assertion that their body is their own and that it is worthy, regardless of what it looks like.

Artist Barbara Kruger famously painted “your body is a battleground” for the Women’s March on Washington in 1989 after various anti-abortion laws threatened to undermine Roe v. Wade. Just as it was then, just as it is today, and just as it will likely be for many decades to come, we’re at a standoff with our government. It’s our bodies versus their laws. We have to fight to for our bodies, and a good place to start is with our words.

We are conditioned to believe that our bodies are not our own.

They are for others’ pleasure and use.

Namely men’s.

10 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · MAY 17, 2017

There She Goz appears every third week.

Write to alexz@sdcitybeat.com. @SDCITYBEAT

UP FRONT | FOOD

BY MICHAEL A. GARDINER

THE WORLD

virgin olive oil, tomato and Serrano ham. It may not be “creative”—tapas bars all over Spain have the dish—but Bar Bodega executes it perfectly. At first glance it looks like there’s way too much of the tomato concasse on the bread. How will it not collapse? How won’t the tomato overwhelm the flaThe benefit of keeping it short vor of the jamon by virtue of quantity alone? But it works perfectly, the salty ham balancing the acidity f there’s a more certain sign a restaurant won’t of the tomato and the inherent sweetness in both be great than a long menu, I haven’t found it. ingredients bringing it all together.

The opposite may not be equally true—a short Chef David Lopez Gutierrez (formerly of Comun menu doesn’t assure greatness—but it increases the Kitchen & Tavern) does tomato well. His gazpaodds that back-of-house staff will execute all menu cho may be more traditional in some ways than items well and the ingredients will be fresh. Bar the tomato smoothies that tend to predominate, Bodega (1980 Kettner Blvd., barbodegasd.com) in but the addition of goat cheese and more of that Little Italy is a case in point. jamon elevates the dish. Gutierrez’s formula with MICHAEL GARDINER the charred shishito peppers is somewhat similar: Replace the traditional padron peppers of Galicia with the similar, but more readily available, Japanese shishitos, and pair them with a squid ink aioli that brings the whole thing to a different level.

The squid ink arancini—three Italian-style risotto balls with Portobello mushrooms and parmigiano-reggiano cheese, each paired with a different, colorful sauce— are a different story. True, this isn’t a classic tapa, but it probably should be. The same might be said of Gutierrez’s Brussels sprouts Caesar (a happy refugee from Comun in roasted, rather than fried, form).

If there’s a serious criticism of Squid ink arancini Bar Bodega, it’s probably the price.

There may be a number of similarities between The tradition of tapas lies in free food designed to San Diego and Andalusia, where tapas began, but keep drinkers buying drinks. Free has, for the most excellent tapas bars around every corner simply is part, turned into inexpensive. At Bar Bodega, it’s not one of them. One of the problems is that local turned into expensive. Of course, there aren’t a lot tapas bars often fall prey to the temptation to put of places in tapas country with Little Italy real esevery “classic” tapa (and paella) on the menu. Sure, tate prices. this isn’t Sevilla or San Sebastian, and we can’t go Price notwithstanding, the tapas at Bar Bodega— on a tapeo, stopping in each bar to try the best dish whether “classic” or rather more adapted to the San or two each has to offer, but the long menu demon Diego food scene (the Papas Bravas or ceviche, for will always win in the end. example)—are superb. It’s a short menu well executBar Bodega’s menu, in contrast, is short. It fits ed and clearly amongst the best tapas in town. on one page and does so in amply sized print. Per- haps their most extraordinary dish is the pan con The World Fare appears weekly. tomate y jamon Serrano. It’s simple: bread, extra Write to michaelg@sdcitybeat.com.

FARE I

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MAY 17, 2017 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · 11

UP FRONT | FOOD

BY JAMES VERNETTE

DISHING IT

damn tasty seafood dish—maybe a seared tuna steak—with these ingredients. How about pairing it with a cider made from prickly pear cactus? Or a gin made from local juniper. The possibilities are endless.

“One dish that is delicious is roasting agave in The future of San Diego food: a deep pit overnight,” Hilton said. “It’s as sweet as Going truly native? molasses and similar to sweet potatoes.”

Mallory Genauer, the education coordinator at ere’s some food for thought. Actually, it’s the Barona Cultural Center and Museum, says the more a thought about food, specifically, San main dish made by the Kumeyaay was shawii, a sort Diego food. From an agricultural perspec- of mash made from crushed acorns.

“It’s very tannic, so it has to be leached tive, this area is truly a Garden of Eden, capable of repeatedly because otherwise it makes the stomach growing all sorts of plants and veggies.

That is, if there is enough water. And water hurt,” she said.

It seems those tannic properties, if properly is always going to be an issue here, no matter how many desalinization plants or toilet-to-tap tamed and balanced, could really play off the brininess of seafood. I’ve programs there are.

BRIAN BERG found that char-grilled That’s why San Diego chefs eggplant really pairs well and foodies may discover the with tannic wines. Maybe future of our local cuisine that’s something that can by looking to the past before be done here. I don’t believe the Spanish took over. When recreating Kumeyaay cuisine I walk around Mission Trails is the way to go. However, Regional Park, I can’t help there is a hope that chefs and but wonder which plants the foodies could be inspired to Kumeyaay Native Americans adapt indigenous plants and ate, and how they might have native animal proteins such adapted to modern cooking as seafood, rabbit, poultry styles. and grasshoppers to modern Cheryl Hilton, a professor cooking techniques. of anthropology at SDSU However, the Kumeyaay and Grossmont College, is didn’t have olive oil and someone on my culinary garlic and I have no intention wavelength. of giving those up. Still, I “When you’re out at believe developing a taste for Mission Trails, you are looking indigenous foods is healthy at food everywhere,” she said.

Autumn Brown making shawii for the region, but it also “You just don’t see it.”

But I do see the possibilities, and wonder if local helps us have respect for the people who were here first and took advantage of the bounty that chefs and other tastemakers do as well.

The Kumeyaay didn’t have hot sauce, but is here.

Want to start small? Get some nopales (cactus) they did spice up their food with things like salt, sage (two different kinds), bladderpods and put them in an omelette. It has a pleasant (a small, flowering shrub), wild onions and green taste that goes well with tomatillos.

This culinary dream of mine isn’t going to happen lemonade berries. They even ate greens in the form of fiddlehead ferns and miner’s lettuce, an overnight, but this isn’t my first banquet. After all, it took nearly a decade before people stopped making indigenous green that grows near streambeds.

The Kumeyaay also had access to wild jokes about fish tacos and sushi. strawberries and juniper to flavor their foods.

A clever chef is probably imagining a pretty Dishing It Out appears every other week.

OUT H

12 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · MAY 17, 2017

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UP FRONT | DRINK

THE

BY ANDREW DYER

BEERDIST

Buying the farm

A

s the owner of ZA Hops, Greg Crum has had better days.

Until recently, the importer of South African hops dealt exclusively with U.S. craft brewers. But now, after Anheuser-Busch InBev’s purchase of British brewing company SABMiller, that supply of hops has been turned off.

The “SAB” in “SABMiller” stands for South African Breweries, which controls the only source for SAB Farms’ otherwise scarce hops. There, the newest and most sought-after varieties—Southern Aroma, African Queen and Southern Passion—are produced on just 24 hectares of land.

Crum created a stir on social media recently when an email he sent to his U.S. customers was widely shared on the social media pages of several breweries. The move was characterized as a sort of “I told you so” with regards to the harm AB/InBev’s economic clout could do as it tips the competitive scales.

According to CEO/founder of Modern Times Beer Jacob McKean, South African hops are used in several of Modern Times Beer’s special-release IPAs, such as Floating World and Effective Dreams.

“American craft breweries—with the help of Greg [Crum]—created the demand for them by brewing really great, hop-forward beers,” McKean says. “Now that we did the hard work of making these obscure varieties popular, AB InBev is shutting us out, which is clearly monopolistic.”

In an emailed statement to CityBeat, AB InBev Global Hops Procurement Director Willy Buholzer says the move was simply a reaction to supply constraints.

“This year, South Africa suffered from low yields,” the statement said. “More than 90 percent of our South African-grown hops will be used in local brands—this means that less than five percent can be allocated to other Anheuser-Busch InBev breweries outside of South Africa.”

Crum’s reaction?

“That story is bullshit,” he says. “It’s true this

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year has been one of the worst harvests, but we were still looking at a certain volume that was going to be allocated to U.S. craft brewers through my company. My order was placed about six months before they even took ownership of the farm.”

SABMiller was acquired by AB InBev late last year for $103 billion according to Bloomberg News. This came after Canadian company Molson Coors purchased SABMiller’s stake in their joint American venture—MillerCoors—to clear U.S. anti-trust regulations.

ANDREW DYER In early May, AB InBev announced it had also acquired North Carolina brewery Wicked Weed, leading to a public backlash among many independent U.S. craft brewers. A planned sour beer festival put on by Wicked Weed was postponed—then cancelled— after more than 40 independent breweries pulled out.

Renowned Texas brewery Jester King was one of them.

“One of our core principles is Jacob McKean that we do not sell beer from AB InBev or its affiliates,” founder Jeffrey Stuffing said in a statement on its Facebook page. “Not because of the quality of the beer, but because a portion of the money made off selling it is used to oppose the interests of craft brewers.”

Crum says the final decision to cut him out of the South African hop market came the very day the Wicked Weed deal was announced.

“Now they have an outlet for those hops,” he says.

AB InBev’s statement alluded to the possibility of supplying these hops again next year, but Eric Drew, head brewer at Oxnard’s Casa Agria—one of the Crum’s spurned customers—isn’t sure he’ll line up again to buy them.

“We probably shouldn’t buy those hops from AB InBev,” he says, “to stick to this code of ethics we’re living by.”

One thing is for sure—no one will be buying from Greg Crum this year.

“I’m out of business,” he says.

The Beerdist appears every other week.

Write to andrewd@sdcitybeat.com

MAY 17, 2017 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · 13

14 · San Diego CityBeat · may 17, 2017

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may 17, 2017 · San Diego CityBeat · 15

SHORTlist

EVENTS

ART

the

THREE YOU HAVE TO SEE

COORDINATED BY

SETH COMBS

NORTH PARK

1

PARK IT

North Park has changed a lot over the Brisk, Nekoe, Carly Ealey and Maxx Moses (just to last two decades, but one thing that hasn’t changed name a few) painting on everything from canvases is the neighborhood’s reputation as an arts destina- to cars.

“It’s a cross section of San Diego’s contemporary tion. From Ray at Night and North Park After Dark to the many independent boutiques and galleries, street artists, graffiti artists and muralists all in one the burg has maintained its indie spirit despite its place at one time working on large scale works,” says Art Block co-curator Jason Gould who owns VISUAL, significant growth.

A great showcase of this spirit will be shown off the gallery and art supply store. “The idea is to bring a new energy and creat the SDCCU FestiMARIA WILES ate an art experience val of Arts in North that has a more conPark. Now in its 21st temporary edge than year, the multi-block what we are used to at fest on Saturday, May your typical neighbor20 has all the telltale hood street fair.” elements of a neighIn addition to the borhood block party live dance, perfor(food, live music, arts mances and live music and crafts, etc.), but from dozens of bands Angela Landsberg says such as B-Side Players, it offers so much more.

Big Bloom and Mit“The festival is tens, there will also unique because it’s not just a street fair,” SDCCU Festival of Arts in North Park be a Craft Beer Block hosted by Waypoint says the Executive Director of North Park Main Street. “It’s a an art, Public that includes unlimited samples of over 30 music, beer, cocktail, kid-friendly, food fair in a hip breweries. The festival itself is free and takes place from 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. and the Beer Block is $35 and and cool neighborhood.”

One of the more unique aspects of the fair is takes place from either noon to 4 p.m. or 5 to 9 p.m. the Live Art Block, which features local artists like More info can be found at northparkmainstreet.com.

POINT LOMA AND LITTLE ITALY

2

TIKI AND TACOS

Summer is all but here, and if there’s a tradition to kicking off the season in style, it’s CityBeat’s eighth annual TikiBeat, which happens Friday, May 19 from 6:30 to 10:30 p.m. at the Bali Hai Restaurant (2230 Shelter Island Drive). As always, expect live music, Polynesian dancing and Bali Hai’s infamously strong Mai Tais scattered across the bar. Performers include bands such as CREEPXOTICA and The Upshots as well as chainsaw art from David James Hermanson and a burlesque show from the Drop Dead Dames Burlesque Revue. Tickets range from $25 to $35 at sdcitybeat. com. Next, on Saturday, May 20 from 11 a.m. to 10:00 p.m., San Diego Taco Fest (sdtacofest.com) will be taking over Waterfront Park (1600 Pacific Hwy). Try tacos from 30 local restaurants while enjoying musical performances from, eh, Vanilla Ice among others. There’s also plenty of beer, Chihuahua beauty pageants, Lucha Libre wrestling matches and more. Tickets start at $25 and go up for $125 for VIP access.

COREY HART

TikiBeat 16 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · MAY 17, 2017

UNIVERSITY HEIGHTS

3

SPARKS FLY

The arts are often at the forefront of social and cultural change and this week San Diego’s Diversionary Theatre leads the way with the presentation of its inaugural Spark Festival.

Beginning on Thursday, May 18 and running through Sunday, May 21, Diversionary Theatre (4545 Park Blvd. #101) will be holding a different reading each night of contemporary works with a focus on LGBT themes. Talkbacks follow each show giving audiences the opportunity to discuss and examine the play in depth. The festival will also include “master classes” with playwrights and receptions with actors, directors and playwrights to celebrate new creative works.

The fest includes readings of Philip Dawkins’ Le Switch and JenCOURTESY OF nifer Haley’s The DIVERSIONARY THEATER Nether, and is anchored by Diversionary’s world premiere production of Ballast.

Admission prices range depending on the event with reading tickets starting at $15 and $25 for master classes. diversionary.org Jennifer Haley

HDowntown at Sundown at MCASD Downtown, 1001 Kettner Blvd., Downtown.

MCASD’s after-hours event offers free admission and guided tours of exhibitions at MCASD and the SDSU Downtown Gallery.

Includes specials at local businesses and live music. From 5 to 8 p.m. Thursday, May 18. Free. 858-454-3541, mcasd.org HAndrea Chung: You broke the ocean in half to ne here at MCASD – Downtown, 1001 Kettner Blvd., Downtown. San Diego-based artist Andrea Chung presents a new immersive installation that will include selected prints and collages that explore legacies of colonialism and migration. From 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Friday, May 19. 858-454-3541, mcasd.org HGo Tell It: Selections from MCASD’s Collection at MCASD – Downtown, 1001 Kettner Blvd., Downtown. Works from MCASD’s permanent collection that explore relationships between art and forms of political speech and protest. Includes work from Damon Davis, Rubén Otiz Torres, Ai Weiwei and more. From 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Friday, May 19. 858-454-3541, mcasd.org Prospect 2017 at MCASD – Downtown, 1001 Kettner Blvd., Downtown. An exhibition of works considered for acquisition by the Museum’s International and Contemporary Collectors groups. Includes works by eight artists including Amy Adler, Math Bass, Jonathan Hernández and more.

From 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Friday, May 19.

858-454-3541, mcasd.org California at Subterranean Coffee, 412 University Ave, Hillcrest. A solo exhibition featuring new works that explore the culture of California by portrait artist Isabel Jackson. Opening from 5 to 10 p.m. Saturday, May. 20. Free. thumbprintgallerysd.com HBorderclick ¿A Dónde Vas? at The FRONT Arte Cultura, 147 W San Ysidro Blvd., San Ysidro. The AjA Project and The FRONT present this new exhibition of image-based artworks exploring the life of transborder youth in Tijuana and San Diego. Opening from 6 to 9 p.m.

Saturday, May. 20. Free. facebook.com/ events/440208096347620 HExtra-Ordinary Collusion at San Diego Art Institute, 1439 El Prado, Balboa Park.

An exhibition with more than 23 artist and scientist collaborations, curated by Chi Essary. Participating artists and scientists are include Cooper Baker (with Jun Wu), Hugo Crosthwaite (with Laura Tan), Einar & Jamex de la Torre (with Amy Rommel), and many more. Opening from 6 to 8 p.m.

Saturday, May. 20. $5. sandiego-art.org H12) From Dawn Till Dusk at Sunset Point, 1656 West Mission Bay Drive, Mission Beach. A new SPF15 exhibition curated by Keith J. Varadi and featuring the work of Gene Beery, Keren Cytter and Amy Yao. From 5:19 a.m. to 8:12 p.m. Saturday, May 18. Free. spf15.info HRobert Irwin: Drawings at Quint Projects, 5171 B Santa Fe St., Bay Ho. The iconic local artist will not be showcasing actual drawings, but rather variations of the fluorescent light works that he’s been working on for the past ten years. Opening from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. Saturday, May. 20.

Free. 858-454-3409, quintgallery.com

ing to hip-hop from Booty Basement’s DJ Dimitri. From 7 p.m. to midnight Wednesday, May 24. Free. facebook.com/ events/602698636601976

BOOKS HAndrew Roe at Warwick’s Bookstore, 7812 Girard Ave., La Jolla. The writer and novelist will discuss and sign his book Where You Live, a collection of stories set in California. At 7:30 p.m. Thursday, May 18. Free. 858-454-0347, warwicks.com Gian Sardar at Mysterious Galaxy Book Store, 5943 Balboa Ave., Ste. 100, Clairemont. The Los Angeles author will be promoting her debut suspense novel, You Were Here, where two love stories intertwine to disclose a dark family secret. At 2 p.m. Sunday, May 21. Free. 858-2684747, mystgalaxy.com

COMEDY Impractical Jokers at San Diego Civic Theatre, 1100 Third Ave., Gaslamp. The Tenderloins, aka the four creators, executive producers, writers and stars of truTV’s hit television series, continue their Santiago Sent Us tour with a mix of stand-up, never-before-seen hidden camera videos, stories and insight. At 5 and 8 p.m. Sunday, May 21. $46-$150. 619-570-1100, sandiegotheatres.org

FOOD & DRINK Elysian Brewing’s Capitol Hill Series at Quartyard, 1102 Market St., East Village.

Elysian Brewing will have a ceremonial tapping of its Said in Zest series with proceeds benefitting the San Diego LGBT Community Center. Includes live music from Big Bloom and the The Soft White Sixties. From 7 to 11 p.m. Thursday, May 18. Free. quartyardsd.com Burgers & Brews at San Diego Museum of Man, 1350 El Prado, Balboa Park. The museum’s summer kick-off party with beer, food tastings from Crazee Burger, giant lawn games and after-hour exhibits.

From 6 to 8 p.m. Thursday, May 18. $20$30. 619-239-2001, museumofman.org Eat.Drink.Read at San Diego Air & Space Museum, 2001 Pan American Plaza, Balboa Park. Local chefs, brewers, distillers and winemakers create bites and libations inspired by their favorite literature at this eighth annual tasting event and fundraiser.

Proceeds benefit the San Diego Council on Literacy. From 5:30 to 8 p.m. Thursday, May 18. $75. 888-850-7323, literacysandiego.org HSan Diego Taco Fest at Waterfront Park, 1600 Pacific Highway, Little Italy. Try tacos from 30 local restaurants while enjoying musical performances from Vanilla Ice among others. There’s also plenty of beer, Chihuahua beauty pageants, Lucha Libre wrestling matches and more. From 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. Saturday, May 20. $25$125. sdtacofest.com

MUSIC

Lee Materazzi: PLaY at Quint Gallery, 5171 Santa Fe St., Bay Ho. A solo exhibition and installation by San Franciscobased artist Lee Materazzi, which began with a photographic exploration of public spaces around San Francisco. Opening from 6 to 8 p.m. Saturday, May. 20. Free.

858-454-3409, quintgallery.com

Charles Dutoit Conducts at Copley Symphony Hall, 750 B St., Downtown.

Maestro Dutoit leads violinist Simone Porter through a program that includes Beethoven’s Prometheus overture, Mozart’s Violin Concerto No. 3, Stravinsky’s Petrushka and Ravel’s La valse. At 8 p.m.

Friday, May 19 and Saturday, May 20 and 2 p.m. Sunday, May 21. $20-$96.

619-235-0804, sandiegosymphony.org

HSEE ART: booty edition at SPACE, 3519 El Cajon Blvd., Normal Heights.

Peruse art, jewelry and crafts while listen-

HChucho Valdés at Copley Symphony Hall, 750 B St., Downtown. The eighttime Grammy winning Cuban Jazz pianist

H = CityBeat picks

EVENTS CONTINUED ON PAGE 14 @SDCITYBEAT

BOOKS: THE FLOATING LIBRARY Buckets of blood

I

’m a sucker for sailor stories. So when Ian McGuire’s whaling tale The North Water hit the New York Times bestseller list, I took notice. But this is not your father’s nautical adventure novel.

Like Moby Dick, The North Water begins with a harpooner. Whereas Dick’s Queequeg is rumored to be a cannibal and a savage, Henry Drax, the Volunteer’s newest harpoon slinger, is something much, much worse. The first chapter opens with Drax raping and murdering a young boy.

Drax’s savagery is balanced out by the introspective Patrick Sumner, an Irish surgeon who was injured during the siege of Delhi, and reports for duty hopelessly addicted to opium. His odd ways aggravate the captain, who has entered into a conspiracy with the vessel’s owner to sink the Volunteer and profit from the insurance.

When a ghastly injury to one of the ship’s cabin boys arouses Sumner’s suspicion, the secret desires of the ship’s captain, surgeon and harpooner collide.

The novelist Colm Toibín has compared The North Water to a mash-up of Cormac McCarthy and Joseph Conrad, and it’s an apt comparison.

McGuire writes beautifully gruesome sentences about brutish endeavors of mid-19th century whaling, warfare, hunting and surgery.

Take this excerpt from a scene in which the cap-

EVENTS CONTINUED FROM PAGE 12 and son of Cuban music icon Bebo Valdés performs. Plus, the Brazilian quartet, Farofa, opens the concert. At 7:30 p.m.

Sunday, May 21. $20-$65. 619-235-0804, sandiegosymphony.org

tain of the Volunteer happens upon a dead whale and orders the crew to salvage what they can: “The blocks of blubber they peel and slice away are miscoloured and gelatinous—much more brown than pink. Swung up onto the deck, they drip not blood, as usual, but some foul straw-coloured coagulation like the unspeakable rectal oozings of a human corpse.”

It’s a real horror show, but that’s nothing compared to the depravity in store for the unfortunate crew of the Volunteer.

Though the language is at times baroque, it’s always in the service of a story that really moves, which can’t always be said of McCarthy’s work.

The writing is so good that I occasionally found myself wishing McGuire would slow down a bit. However, much like Conrad’s slim novels, which are packed with demented captains, cursed seafarers and crazed castaways, McGuire moves the action along from ship to shore where the crew is stranded on the ice and things get even more intense.

McGuire thoroughly imagines a worst-case scenario for the hapless crew of the Volunteer and then keeps upping the ante with unrelenting violence and depravity. Come for the whales, stay for the eyeball-eating contest. Armchair sailors be advised: rough seas and worse weather are the least of your worries in The North Water.

Symphony String Quartet at the Chamber Music Series Concert season finale. At 7:30 p.m. Wednesday, May 24. $35. 619-2350804, sandiegosymphony.org

POETRY & SPOKEN WORD

HBrian Wilson at San Diego Civic Theatre, 1100 Third Ave, Downtown. Wilson and former members of The Beach Boys, Al Jardine and Blondie Chaplin come together to perform the acclaimed album Pet Sounds for its 50th anniversary. At 8 p.m. Wednesday, May 24. $32-$123. 619570-1100, sandiegotheatres.org

HVerbatim Poets Society at Verbatim Books, 3973 30th St., North Park. An open mic night where anyone is welcome to read. Includes wine for cash donations and the money goes to local charities.

At 7:30 p.m. Wednesday, May 17. Free. facebook.com/events/1835135513415600

Brahms with Bronfman at Copley Symphony Hall, 750 B St., Downtown. Pianist Yefim Bronfman performs Johannes Brahms’ Piano Quintet in F minor with the San Diego

HNow That’s What I Call Poetry Vol. 34 at Tiger! Tiger!, 3025 El Cajon Blvd., North Park. A night of poetry featuring the talents of Sean Burdeaux, Calvin Walds, Nathan-

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—Jim Ruland

Write to jimr@sdcitybeat.com. iel MacDonald and Alexandra Naughton.

From 7:30 to 10 p.m. Sunday, May 21.

Free. facebook.com/NowThatsWhatICallPoetryReadingSeries

SPECIAL EVENTS HTikiBeat at Bali Hai, 2230 Shelter Island Drive, Shelter Island. CityBeat’s annual start of summer kick-off party features DJs, Polynesian dancers, fashion shows, burlesque performances and music from CREEPXOTICA and the Upshots. From 6:30 to 10:30 p.m. Friday, May 19. $25$35. 619-296-2101, sdcitybeat.com HSDCCU Festival of Arts in North Park at University Avenue between 30th and

EVENTS CONTINUED ON PAGE 18

MAY 17, 2017 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · 17

18 · San Diego CityBeat · may 17, 2017

@SDCityBeat

JEN VAN TIEGHEM

BOTTLE ROCKET Surf, sand and sipping

T Buonomo Reserve bottles

he name Gianni Buonomo Vintners may conjure up images of rolling Italian hillsides covered with grape vines, so it could come as a surprise to find its tasting room in Ocean Beach.

The location, nestled between a brewery and an antique shop, is spacious, bright and clean with seating and a bar among racks of wine barrels. A friend and I stopped in on a Friday evening and met assistant winemaker and tast-

ing room manager Neely Ashley, who walked us through the menu explaining its various collections.

With grapes sourced from Washington and California, much of its wine is actually created right in their O.B. location.

Since my friend is mostly a Pinot gal and I’m a big Zinfandel fan, I wasn’t sure we would agree on much while tasting wine together. But as we made our way down the list we found common ground in the best way, as we both liked everything we tried.

The wine list offers ample tast-

ing notes revealing various details, but my favorite part was the suggested food pairings for each wine.

A wine for sipping is one thing, but imagining their powerful and rich Rhone-style blend—called Avennio— with a well-seasoned leg of lamb brought the wine to life and made me think about who I would serve such a perfect pairing to (while also making me pretty hungry).

My friend and I found ourselves with a good problem to have: trying to pick a favorite. But we both agreed we’d gladly accept seconds

of anything on the list.

Though I loved its hearty Bordeaux-like blend called Maestrale and the grassy and vegetal Viognier, in the end I predictably went home with a bottle of its Californiagrown Zinfandel. And my drinking partner picked up the Blaufrankisch—an Australian varietal that Ashley called “the Pinot of the East.” Old drinking habits die hard, but with Gianni Buonomo’s all-day Thursday and Friday evening happy hour plus other events on its calendar, I have plenty of excuses to return and branch out.

EVENTS EVENTS CONTINUED FROM PAGE 12 32nd Streets. This annual festival takes place along and around University Ave. and features bands, dancers and artists exhibiting their work. There will be food for sale, a Craft Beer Block, kids activities and more. From 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. Saturday, May 20. Free or $35 for the Craft Beer Block. 619-233-5008, northparkmainstreet.com HSan Diego Made Spring Market at McMillin Companies Event Center, 2875 Dewey Road, Point Loma. The third annual market will showcase goods from over 75 local makers. There will also be organic eats, coffee, hosted lounge areas and craft cocktails and beer bars with proceeds benefitting non-profit Will Grant Vision. From 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday, May 20. $5. sandiegomade.com Explore Mission Trails Day at Mission Trails Regional Park, 1 Father Junipero Serra Trail, Santee. The annual celebration offers guided nature walks, live animal exhibits and crafts for kids. Plus, a twilight walk and stargazing with a local astronomer. See website for event schedule. From 9 a.m. to 10 p.m. Saturday, May 20. Free. 619-405-0177, mtrp.org Over-the-Line Craft Beer Fest at Mariners Point Park, Mariners Way, Mission Beach. For the first time, a beer fest and a two-day mini tournament will act as a precursor to the 64th annual world championship event in July. Beer fest from noon to 4 p.m. Saturday, May 20. Tournament from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. Saturday, May 20 and 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. Sunday, May 21. $30-$125.

619-236-8397, ombac.org HColor at Pueblo, 877 Hornblend St., Pacific Beach. A pop-up party honoring the heritage of Mexico City with live street artists, a contemporary take on Mexican cuisine, tequila tastings, live DJs, cultural dancers and more. At 8 p.m. Wednesday, May 24th. $55-$75. 805-570-2599, popupparty.party

TALKS & DISCUSSIONS Iraqi Women Refugees Share Their Stories at Women’s Museum of California, 2730 Historic Decatur Road, Liberty Station. Female refugees tell about their experiences leaving Iraq and their families, protecting their children, living in refugee camps and settling in the United States.

At 6 p.m. Wednesday, May 24. Free. 619233-7963, womensmuseumca.org

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MAY 17, 2017 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · 19

THEATER SIMPATIKA

The gravity of gender

T

he experiences of transitioning from one gender to the other and that of loving someone who does are poignantly conveyed in Ballast, a world-premiere play by Georgette Kelly at University Heights’ Diversionary Theatre.

Kelly’s one-act drama can be selfconsciously poetical and it leans heavily on the flying-as-freedom analogy, but her principal characters’ struggle for identity, for understanding of self, is as foundational as survival.

Newly transitioned Grace (Dana Aliya Levinson) and her wife Zoe (Jacque Wilke) are trapped between turmoil and hope. Grace’s position as a pastor in her church is in jeopardy, not because she has transitioned but because by doing so, she is told by her bishop (Dana Case), it means she is now in a homosexual marriage. That marriage to Zoe is also in jeopardy. Disoriented and missing the man she wed at the time, Zoe searches for escape, and perhaps more, in flying lessons. Intertwined with their story is that of Xavier (Maxton Miles Baeza), a spirited but tormented young girl in a boy’s body who has turned to self-mutilation, and Xavier’s doubly spirited friend Savannah (Jennifer Paredes), artless and wise beyond her years. Briskly paced for such a ruminative piece, Ballast is constructed primarily of short, two-character scenes. Under Matt Morrow’s skilled direction, this rhythm does not diminish their import.

Diversionary’s cast is formidable. The always-expressive Wilke wholly inhabits Zoe’s inner conflict and is genuine enough to bring off the heavy-handedness of the flying-lesson scenes imparted with much significance by her instructor (Skyler Sullivan). Levinson’s character seems numbly unhappy

Jacque Wilke and Skyler Sullivan in Ballast throughout, and Grace’s relationship to her faith is never quite clear. Baeza’s vitality as Xavier, meanwhile, is complemented by Paredes’ fun-loving Savannah, and their quiet and revealing moments together linger.

Ballast is no detached case study of gender. Both its transgender and cisgender (people who identify with the sex of their birth) figures strive as we all do for the joys of not only knowing one’s self but knowing and cherishing others as well.

Ballast runs through June 4 at Diversionary Theatre in University Heights. $15-$45; diversionary.org

—David L. Coddon

Theater reviews run weekly.

Write to davidc@sdcitybeat.com.

OPENING: Buddy: The Buddy Holly Story: The hit musical about the bespectacled ‘50s musician who changed rock ‘n’ roll forever and (spoiler alert!) died in a tragic plane crash. Presented by Intrepid Theatre

Company, it opens May 18 at the Horton Grand Theatre in the Gaslamp. intrepidtheatre.org Shockheaded Peter: A musical set in Victorian England about a demented monster who punishes misbehaving children. If it’s any incentive, David Bowie once called the musical “absolute bliss.” Presented by Cygnet Theatre, it opens May 18 at the Old Town Theatre. cygnettheatre.com Spark New Play Festival: Four onenight-only readings of new plays by Philip Dawkins, Jennifer Haley and more. It happens May 18 through May 21 at the Diversionary Theatre in University Heights. diversionary.org Nana’s Naughty Knickers: Katherine Di Savino’s comedy about a young New York woman who finds out that her grandmother is selling handmade lingerie to other senior citizens. Directed by Robyn Smith, it opens May 19 at PowPAC Community Theatre in Poway. powpac.org Native Voices Festival of New Plays: Staged readings of three new works by Native American, Alaska Native and First Nations playwrights. Presented by Native Voices at the Autry, it happens May 20 and May 21 at the La Jolla Playhouse. theautry. org The Cherry Orchard: Anton Chekhov’s classic about a woman and her family who return to their orchard home in hopes of to prevent a foreclosure. Presented by Amigos del Rep, it happens on May 22 at the Lyceum Space in the Gaslamp. sdrep.org 5 Minute Play Festival: The fourth annual showcase of original short plays that were curated from over 50 entries from all over the nation. Presented by the San Diego Center for Jewish culture, it happens May 22 at the Lawrence Family Jewish Community Center in La Jolla. sdcjc.org

For full listings, visit “Theater” under Culture at sdcitybeat.com

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The end is nigh. The rapture. Alien invasion. Robots. Climate change. Nuclear war.

Pick an apocalyptic poison, because any one of the things above seems like a realistic scenario for the end of the world at this point. Not to worry though, we have our readers’ backs. Whatever ends up being the cause of our untimely demise (the heat in East County, perhaps?), this annual Summer Guide will get us ready for when it all goes down while also letting us have some fun while we’re doing it. From learning to garden and riding a motorcycle to becoming a knight and climbing rocks, this guide is just as much about learning to survive and be more independent as it is about summer fun. OK, so it’s mostly about having fun, but with Trump in charge, we could all end up living out Idiocracy any day now.

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Anyone here remember what Soylent Green was made from? No, OK, well, we’re not suggesting anyone do that, but it might be time to get used to eating bugs and growing our own veggies. Nom nom nom.

Getting around sure is tough in a Mad Max-style world. And while we might have enough gas to ride our motorcycles, we’re gonna need some downloadable maps to navigate this stark desert hellscape.

Just like Charlton Heston in Planet of the Apes, it’s likely we’ll all have to fight some kind of filthy, hairy beasts after they take us over. Jousting and lasers are just part of the program so let’s get moving.

Hotels will likely all be run by a cybernetic Barron Trump in the future, so now’s a good time to prepare for sleeping outdoors. That’s alright, though. There’s some really cool places to lay our heads even if they’re sans roof and surrounded by wild animals.

Simply having a compass isn’t going to cut it. From staying clean to telling time without an iPhone, here’s some items we’ll all need to survive or, at the least, make things more comfortable while cyborgs dominate the world.

We’re going to have to stick together in order to survive and, hopefully, rebuild society. Escaping creepy rooms and a music festival in the desert heat are just a few activities that will forge our bonds even stronger.

Coffee cups rumble. Fragments of limestone spike up like incisors, slicing through the office carpet.

Quickly, sheets of rock 200 feet tall replace cubicle barriers as coworkers grasp their desks, trying not to slide into the deep gorge that formed where the water cooler stood five minutes prior. Betsy from human resources hangs on to a crevice by her pinky. She screams for her life, and for her cats. Going to a rock climbing gym like Mesa Rim in Mission Valley (405 Camino Del Rio S.) or Mira Mesa (10110 Mesa Rim Road) would have come in real handy right about now when the earth’s innards burst up and out. Prepare at the two Mesa Rim locations that offer bouldering, which takes place on shorter walls without the use of ropes, or top rope climbing, which requires two people, harnesses, ropes and a whole lot of trust. In top rope climbing, one partner navigates the wall while the other is on the ground managing the rope’s slack, also known as balaying. So basically, if the balayer isn’t keeping tabs on the rope, the climber could slip their grip and smash against the wall or fall tens of feet to the floor. There are day passes for $14 to $22 plus $6 for rental gear and memberships start at $72. mesarim.com —Torrey Bailey

There are very few situations in which being able to grow your own food isn’t a good idea. For first-time farmers, it can take a little getting used to: Proper ratio of water to sunlight, soil pH and other small factors can dramatically affect what sprouts from your backyard.

But when farm-to-table restaurants are in short supply as a result of a giant meteor slamming into the west coast (assuming it misses your literal backyard), you’ll be thankful

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that you have a garden full of radishes, tomatoes, bell peppers and other vegetables to sustain you through the end times. Or, alternately, maybe the meteor misses us and it’s just a good idea to eat healthier, in which case it’s time to start stocking up on seeds and potted veggie plants at local nurseries such as City Farmers Nursery in City Heights (3110 Euclid Ave., cityfarmersnursery.com), North Park Nursery (2335 University Ave., northparknursery.com) or Mission Hills Nursery (1515 Fort Stockton Drive, missionhillsnursery.com). The freshly grown produce will make those summer salads taste that much better and keep you fit for when you have to outrun the CHUDs.

COURTESY OF CITY FARMERS NURSERY

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(2221 Morley Field Drive). While it’s operated by San Diego Archers (sandiegoarchers.com), club membership isn’t required; users are asked to pay a $2 usage fee to help maintain the grounds. And with no set time limit, any novice archer can have their skills honed to Katniss Everdeen— ready for when society collapses around our ears.

—Matthew Baldwin TORREY BAILEY

—Jeff Terich MATTHEW BALDWIN

When it comes to skills for a survival situation, archery makes a strong case for itself over firearms.

It’s quiet, the basics can be picked up in a single lesson, it doesn’t require a lot of moving parts or chemical explosives to function, and the ammunition is reusable.

Plus, habitually drawing and firing a bow is an excellent upper-body workout, helping keep you strong and fit for whatever else comes your way. So it’s fortunate that San Diego is home to one of only two public ranges in California, nestled away in the Morley Field Sports Complex

With all the cargo shorts you see around San Diego, it’s easy to think that we’re a city dressed for the apocalypse—certainly, those babies are filled with tactical tools and survival supplies, right? Just kidding. Still, there are outlets that offer gear that can turn even the most normcore, Old Navy-wearing weekend warrior into the real deal, and Bargain Center in (3015 North Park Way) North Park is one of them. The army surplus supply store sits just a block off the bougie mecca of 30th and University, persevering among the skinny jeans and fedoras that roam that hood. With everything from machetes to Meals Ready to Eat (given CityBeat’s proximity to the store, I’ve considered buying an MRE for lunch on more than one occasion) Bargain Center is a good place to hit up in the event of societal or environmental collapse.

Another bonus is they have one of the finest selections of peacoats in San Diego. Not that it ever gets cold here. Well, not yet—with all the climate change going on, an Icepocalypse is no longer so far-fetched.

—Ryan Bradford

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Americans have avoided the inevitable for too long.

As the United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization reported in 2013, there are 1,900 edible insects on Earth that are more environmentally friendly to grow and consume than typical livestock. Asia, South America and Africa turned to entomophagy, aka snacking on bugs, long ago. It’s time to bite the bullet, er beetle. They’re high in proteins, vitamins, fats and essential minerals, not to mention their crunchy little bones add extra calcium.

Plus, they’re relatively cheap in the States. While a kabob of scorpions can cost $15 in Beijing, scorpion lollipops are only a couple bucks here. To practice ingesting and digesting bugs, turn to Tacos Perla (3000 Upas St., tacosperla. com). This taqueria serves up crickets deep fried with a zest of lemon and chile. For 75 cents, add them to a taco or eat them straight, Hakuna Matata style. While crickets aren’t

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easy to find in stores, silkworm cocoons are. Head to Korean grocery store Zion Market (7655 Clairemont Mesa Blvd., zionmarket.com) to grab a can for only $1.29. One employee at the market says they have the flavor of fermented soybeans, or how he imagines Xenomorph slime from the Alien movies would taste. They crunch and ooze. So when that locust swarm comes, remember to catch a few.

fore things completely go to shit, they can head to Pacific Safety Center (9880 Via Pasar) in Miramar to earn their M1 motorcycle driver’s license designation. The basic course includes both classroom and on-cycle training to avoid the DMV driving skills test, as well as various skills to safely ride. Yes, it’s time to feel the wind in our hair before it’s filled with ash and fallout.

—Torrey Bailey

—Beth Demmon

BETH DEMMON

COURTESY OF SAFARI TENT CAMPING

All apocalyptic heroes know how to ride out the annihilation of civilization in style—two-wheeling it through hordes of the undead and heading into the sunset, shotguns blazing. Luckily for everyone, it doesn’t have to be the end of the world to enjoy the freedom of motorcycling. If readers yearn to live life to the fullest be-

I imagine that when society finally breaks down, we’ll pretty much have to take whatever we can get as far as finding shelter goes—McMansions will almost certainly become a thing of the past. But it’s also easy to imag-

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COURTESY OF SAN DIEGO COUNTY FAIR

SUMMER GUIDE CONTINUED FROM PAGE 26 ine, amid a world spinning into chaos, that privacy, romance and creature comforts will also be pretty hard to come by.

Within San Diego County limits, however, there is solace in the desert. Safari Tent Camping in Warner Springs (along Highway 79 near Hot Springs Mountain) is a refreshing dose of luxury in a secluded location. The tent is responsibly sourced, with wood from trees that were casualties of the 2003 Cedar Fire, and handmade furniture to boot. It’s by no means a primitive stay, however. The tent has a grill, a fireplace, refrigerator and WiFi—just in case you don’t feel the need to cut yourself off from society entirely (relaxation is no reason to let zombies or bands of mutants get the upper hand). There’s also a hot tub. Just because you need to escape a crumbling society doesn’t mean you can’t have some sexy time. Check out glampinghub.com for more info.

—Jeff Terich

The San Diego County Fair (2260 Jimmy Durante Blvd., sdfair.com) is undoubtedly a group activity.

Ride scary rides. Eat some fried butter. Ride more rides. Try not to vomit. Vomit anyway. These are all activities we should always do with friends. This year’s fair is offering some pretty cool activities in addition to the usual fare. There’s a “Happy Trails”-themed Garden Show area, for example, where patrons can learn about actually growing stuff. This year’s show includes the Whole Life Festival on Saturday, July 1 where attendees can learn about healthy lifestyles from expert authors, speakers and merchants. Just

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San Diego County Fair up the road in Encinitas, the San Diego Botanic Garden (230 Quail Gardens Drive, sdbgarden.org) is offering up some cool classes and fests that could come in handy come should we inch closer to a real-life Idiocracy including drip irrigation classes that emphasize conservation. The next class is on May 21 for $48 and, no, Brawndo does not work.

There will also be mealworm larva to eat at the Garden’s annual Insect and Ladybug Festival on July 22 and 23.

Krav Maga to use against anti-Jewish pogroms in Czechoslovakia in the days leading up to World War II. That’s according to Impact Krav Maga Self-Defense’s (2545 El Cajon Blvd.) website (impactkravmaga.com), a local training studio where all of the founders and instructors were trained

by Lichtenfeld’s prodigy, Eyal Yanilov. Yanilov is the modern master of Krav Maga (aka he made adaptations for the Trump-ocalypse?). Impact has classes specifically for young and old, women and teenagers, where they’re taught street fighting tactics like groin strikes and eye gouges that are typically illegal in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Muay Thai and other types of sport fighting. Most Trump supporters were probably privileged enough to fight like the Karate Kid, so learn Krav Maga to MAGA. —Torrey Bailey COURTESY OF IMPACT KRAV MAGA SELF DEFENSE

—Seth Combs

When Imi Lichtenfeld created Krav Maga in the early 1900s, he most definitely had the Trump-ocalypse in mind. OK, maybe not. But considering Krav Maga was created as a practical self-defense system to use on the streets against armed attackers, the idea isn’t far off.

Orange-faced clones crawling out of log cabins, armed with camouflage Swiss Army Knives and Remington rifles, descending upon progressives... Actually, Lichtenfeld created

Impact Krav Maga Self-Defense

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In most dystopian futures, humans are left to communicate using outdated methods like snail mail. Remember The Postman with Kevin Costner? No? Probably for the best, but birds seems like a better, quicker move. While we mentioned them in our last Summer Guide, it seems worth reiterating the radness of Sky Falconry (skyfalconry.com), who hold lessons on handling various birds of prey in the mountains near Alpine.

Hey, it beats being a drone dork.

—Seth Combs

A year or so ago, Washington Post put out a thinkpiece about how millennials hate cereal because of the preparation and clean-up that cereal requires—i.e. the single bowl and spoon. As ridiculous as that story is, if there is any truth to the notion that young folks are really COURTESY OF HIPCOOKS so averse to food preparation, that could put a serious damper on succeeding in any survivalist scenario. The concept behind Hipcooks (4048 30th St.) in North Park is simple: Students learn how to feed themselves by preparing and cooking food in a group setting. Or, more simply, it’s a cooking class.

Yes, it’s not a novel idea, but it’s a lot of fun, especially if the concept of preparing HipCooks food (or worse, pouring a bowl of cereal) is too intimidating. In addition to cooking, students learn about proper cutlery, kitchen tools, chopping techniques and relying on taste instead of recipe. Plus, if you go on a night where the dessert is crème brûlée, you get to use a kitchen torch. And if holding a mini flamethrower isn’t an incentive to don an apron, then maybe you weren’t cut out to survive anyway. sandiego.hipcooks.com —Ryan Bradford

At the time of Divine Judgement, there is no footwear more strategic than the Jesus—sandal - the highly unfashionable, thick-strapped things that wrap around the feet of ‘active’ tourists. The breathable, toe-bearing shoe resembles the couture of the 12 apostles, so wearing them could be proof enough of worthiness. Luckily, Traveler’s Depot (1655 Garnet Ave., TRAVELERS DEPOT travelersdepot.com) has a nice stock of variations by Teva and Keen. But if practical shoes are too much of a sacrifice, there’s more to gear up with, such as hats from Tilley, Wallaroo and Sunday Afternoon that block out 98 percent of the sun’s harmful rays. Those have a lifetime warranty, but what does that even mean when the store is reduced to dust?

There’s also clothing suitable for a pilgrimage since Travelers Depot it’s wrinkle-free and quickdrying, but most importantly, odor-resistant. And for leaving the country in the most desperate of cases, there are maps galore, plus converters and adapters for electrical outlets.

Other travel needs such as neck pillows, toiletry kits and luggage locks are for sale too, because when fleeing imminent doom, it’s important to at least be comfortable.

—Torrey Bailey

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CHAD MCDONALD / FLICKR

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wide expanse of the desert while being serenaded by a list of excellent (mostly local) bands including The Mattson 2, Zig Zags, Birdy Bardot, Mrs. Magician and The Widows. It’s an escape from the always-connected modern society that’s also loaded with some impressive live music. As far as postapocalyptic futures go, it could be a lot worse. inkopah.org —Jeff Terich

In-Ko-pah In a post-apocalyptic world, a logical hierarchy of needs would probably place live music pretty low on the pyramid. But let’s get real here: Once food, selfdefense and some kind of heat source are covered, it’s not unreasonable to want to add some jams to that list of needs.

I imagine that music festivals will resemble something out of Mad Max in the future (not counting Burning Man, which already does), but if we’re all headed for a nomadic desert-wandering existence, then there’s a good chance the future of festivals will look something like In-Ko-Pah. InKo-Pah 4, which takes place on Saturday, June 3 at Desert View Tower in Anza-Borrego, combines camping in the

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Zombies can’t swim. Really, when have we ever seen a movie with a swimming zombie? Oh, right… Zombeavers… forgot about that one. Sike! Beavers aren’t fish, dummy! Nor are many of them likely to be swimming in salt water, which is why living on a boat is going to be a good bet come Armageddon. Start the training with a staycation rental with Boat, Bed and Breakfast (2240 Shelter Island Drive, boatbnb.com) in Point Loma where readers can rent a boat, catamaran or yacht for the night (they start at $185 a night). It’s romantic AF to rock the boat like Aaliyah while chaos reins down back on shore. No zombeavers either.

—Seth Combs

Camping in Southern California can be a lesson in irony. Instead of escaping into the great outdoors and becoming one with nature, it often involves falling asleep to the sound of traffic and pretending that you’re not shoulder-to-shoulder with your neighbors in the next campsite. Or—as is the case with most designated “beach camping”—pitching a tent in a literal parking lot. It

Mount Laguna definitely took this Utah boy a long time to get used to the concept of crowded nature. The camping at Mount Laguna, on the other hand, is pretty damn great. Located about 30 minutes east of San Diego, the recreation spot offers some pretty choice trails for hiking, biking and running, but best of all, the campgrounds are all well maintained, spacious and far apart from each other (I visited the Burnt Rancheria campgrounds). Unlike so many other camping experiences I’ve had in San Diego, a trip to Mount Laguna truly feels like an excursion into nature. And don’t worry about the heat— despite its inland status, the elevation and plentiful shade compensate. One caveat: Only a limited number of campsites can be reserved, which means the rest are doled out on a first-come, first-serve basis. Who knows, maybe fighting another nature-lover to the death over a campsite may prove to be a valuable skill after a cataclysmic event.

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—Ryan Bradford

COURTESY CALI LIFE CO.

When the Pacific Rim is decimated by a tsunami, mass-produced consumer goods will be a lot harder to come by. But as The Police’s 1980 new wave classic says, “when the world is running down, you make the best of what’s still around.” Like, for instance, making accessories Gilligan’s Island style, from coconuts or palm fronds.

Or, before that disastrous event ever occurs, timepieces from reclaimed wood. Cali Life Co. already has that responsibly sourced concept covered with a line of watches that are Cali Life Co. watch handmade from sustainable materials in San Diego. They’re high quality watches with a natural-wood look, and they’re sold locally at Creative Crossroads in Hillcrest (502 University Ave.). Cali Life Co. also sells its wares at the Hillcrest Farmer’s Market on Sunday mornings. And should anyone ever doubt the benefit of checking the time after society’s reached a state of lawless chaos, just imagine how handy it’d be to track every minute you have to reach high ground before that next tidal wave hits. calilifeco.com/watches —Jeff Terich

“Maybe I should become a LARPer.” We’ve all had that thought one time in our lives, right? Or, even if the thought of joining the Live Action Role Players in Balboa Park every Sunday hasn’t crossed your mind, you’ve probably had an inkling to don some armor, wield a sword, COURTESY OF KNIGHTSCHOOL or do some other medievaltype shenanigans. Plus, given the eventual technological apocalypse, when robots turn on their masters, it’s probably good to have battle skills and alternative transportation options in place. KnightSchool (knightschool.us) is a program located out in Ramona that teaches the fundamentals of, well, knightly stuff, e.g. jousting and horseback riding, or“horsemanship.”

KnightSchool Classes are taught by Jeffery Hedgecock, who, according to the website, has over 15 years of experience and is the founder of the “Order of the Crescent,” which—c’mon—sounds so badass. Group sessions usually go down on the first Saturday of every month, and cost between $20 to $65 (private lessons are available, but more expensive). Students must pass a series of prerequisite classes before they can engage in horse-driven, fully-armored combat (ugh, safety!). Just think about how cool it’ll be to show up to a LARP sesh as a fully fledged knight. And when the world goes to shit, you’ll be their king.

—Ryan Bradford

While soap making sounds like an activity a bunch of wine moms would enjoy, gaining the skills to make COURTESY OF FOLLOWING SEASONS BOTANICALS soap can be especially useful in desperate times, like maybe after an apocalypse? Cindy Christ of Following Seasons Botanicals offers soap making classes for people who want to start using all-natural essential oils and botanicals for their daily hygienic needs. Every class starts with a lesson about the ingredients used in the soap and the chemistry behind soap making before Following Seasons Botanicals

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COURTESY OF HEART AND TROTTER

diving into a full-on workshop. Her classes range from beginner to advanced, and each level focuses more on the chemistry of soap making. With a more advanced class level, people will learn more about how to make their soap lather or even how to make it work best for dry or oily skin types. Christ says soap in supermarkets are mostly detergent, so making soap gives individuals the opportunity to use all-natural ingredients, especially during the summer when oily skin is far too common of a problem. Christ’s classes range from $60 to $80 depending on the group size, venue and provided materials. Individuals can schedule a group lesson with Christ through followingseasons.com.

—Nicole Sazegar

Heart and Trotter boner watching Daniel Day-Lewis as Bill the Butcher in Gangs of New York. There’s just something primally erotic about knowing your way around a cleaver. But forget impressing me. In the event of a catastrophe, even the most adamant tofu lovers will likely find their dietary discipleship deterred when they face the choice of meat or starvation. That’s when knife skills are going to come in handy, and you can easily pick them up at the Heart & Trotter’s (2855 El Cajon Blvd., Suite 1) twice-monthly Pork 101 class in North Park. Learn how to break down an entire side of pig in four hours or less and leave with several pounds of pork. Survival was never so succulent.

—Beth Demmon

Cabrillo Academy of the Sword

MICHAEL GARDINER

When you’re boxed in by zombies, the last thing you need is to draw attention to yourself with a crowd-drawing gunshot. It’s much more effective (not to mention quieter) to destroy the brain than with a quick thrust of a sword. Learn how to properly wield your weapon at the Cabrillo Academy of the Sword in Normal Heights (3339 Adams Ave., cabrillosword.com), a private fencing club that caters to professionals, aspiring fencers, actors and anyone interested in swordplay. Private lessons are available as well as monthly memberships, all taught by accredited fencing master Maestro Hurst.

Lesson one: stick ‘em with the pointy end.

Composting worms

—Beth Demmon

I can’t be the only one who gets a massive girl

A friend recently said he gets to sleep by counting the ways Trump and EPA chief Scott Pruitt have screwed up our food and water supply. A creative twist, perhaps, but we at CityBeat have a more productive suggestion: become a master composter. Composting might not protect against nuclear holocaust (another Trumpenhanced risk), but it augments the food supply by enriching soil, helping to retain moisture and suppress plant diseases and pests, reducing the need for (and thus damage from) chemical fertilizers, encouraging production of beneficial bacteria and fungi, reducing methane emissions from landfills and the carbon footprint. Master Composter classes are ongoing at the Solana Center

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for Environmental Innovation (137 N El Camino Real, solanacenter.org) as well as Chula Vista’s Living Coast Discovery Center (1000 Gunpowder Point Drive, thelivingcoast.org) and new ones will start in the fall at both centers as well as Cuyamaca College’s Water Conservation Garden (12122 Cuyamaca College Drive W, thegarden.org) in El Cajon.

—Michael A. Gardiner

Daytime trips to the swap meet at the sports arena already feel a bit like taking a walk through a postapocalyptic society: People line long picnic tables with worn relics of a once-great society—vintage vinyl, paperbacks, VHS copies of Weekend at Bernie’s, the occasional pair of nunchucks. So it only makes sense that just down the street, one can also bone up on the essentials of futuristic neon warfare at ULTRAZONE Lazer Tag in the Midway (3146 Sports Arena Blvd. Suite 21). ULTRAZONE indeed feels like a simulation of some kind of dystopia in which sunlight scarcely reaches our shores, the landscape is littered with strange barrels and tubes, and everything radiates with an eerie glow-in-the-dark luminescence. It’s not entirely unreasonable to think that this is what the future will look like not too far from now, even if the idea of zapping your friends with light-based phaser guns is somewhat far removed from any actual self-defense skills.

Still, it’s best not to leave out the possibility that this will come in handy after the singularity happens and we need to

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ULTRAZONE Lazer Tag outsmart the cyborgs, or some similar scenario. And even if that never comes to fruition, it’s a pretty fun way to kill an afternoon in air conditioning while escaping the actual malaise of the real world. ultrazonesandiego.com —Jeff Terich

To survive, San Diegans better know the county like the back of their hand. Whether hiding from flesh-eaters, burrowing underground to escape locust swarms or climbing to the top of Mt. Soledad so that they may be raptured, geography is key. But grabbing a map probably isn’t the most instinctual response.

It’s more likely they’ll clutch their iPhones to scour for safety. Google Maps won’t take fleers off-roading, but the All Trails app will. It maps out more than 50,000 national hiking, running and walking trails to escape to. Start

scouting terrain now to A) get in shape and B) find a secure hiding spot. Users can record the trails too with GPS tracking so it’s harder to get lost, unless that’s the goal. And if the pre-existing trails don’t seem safe enough, it’s possible to create a new one, save it, upload it and shared it with (trustworthy) escapees. The maps are downloadable so they can be accessed without internet, and the app shows driving directions to the trailheads.

It’s only available on the iPhone, but Samsung All Trails App Galaxy owners should be more worried about spontaneous combustion anyway, even though that could make for a good flare.

—Torrey Bailey

We want to be the type of trailblazing leader that doesn’t take shit from nobody. If we were all stuck

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room, and must follow a series of clues to be able to earn their freedom. There are a couple escape rooms in San Diego, including The Great Room Escape (424 Market St., greatroomescapesandiego.com) in the Gaslamp, and The Puzzalarium (3864 Fifth Ave. puzzalarium.com) in Hillcrest—which my team failed to complete upon my last visit, a fact that that I’m going blame on our lack of teamwork. It was a good reminder that smart people can still look dumb when they don’t work together.

COURTESY OF SAN DIEGO SAFARI PARK

—Ryan Bradford

“The Floor Is Lava” at Puzzlarium on an island, imagine how many people would die because of how long we’d probably spend arguing about who gets to be Jack from LOST instead of actually trying to get help. I’m sorry, but that alpha mindset will not help anybody; teamwork will be our only road to survival. Escape rooms have become a popular go-to team building activity for friends, corporation retreats and family simply because they’re the most fun, uninhibited ways of getting to know others without the assistance of booze. The basic idea behind escape rooms is people are trapped in a

40 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · MAY 17, 2017

Last year, I reluctantly visited the San Diego Zoo Safari Park (15500 San Pasqual Valley Road) for the first time. I’ve always had reservations about anything zoo or zoo-related. I’m not about to go join the Army of the 12 Monkeys or anything, but it’s still wild animals in cages, which I’m fundamentally against. So I was surprised at how much I enjoyed the Park, but what I really wanted to try was the Roar & Snore Safari trip where patrons get to camp out overnight in the park and try to get some sleep knowing that lions are right around the corner (well, technically, they’re in their own area, but you never know). And let’s face it, this is pretty much the closest many of us will ever get to a Naked and Afraid-type situation. The trips start at $140 and include meals, evening hikes, face time with “critters,” and a pretty swank tent. Who knows? Readers might learn something about lions, tigers and bears that will save them once the animal revolution starts. Oh, and there are adults-only packages

Roar & Snore Safari so don’t worry about dropping the occasional “what the fuck was that?” if there’s a strange noise. sdzsafaripark.org —Seth Combs

Summer Guide 2017 Contributors: Torrey Bailey, Matthew Baldwin, Ryan Bradford, Seth Combs, Beth Demmon, Michael Gardiner, Nicole Sazegar, Jeff Terich

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CULTURE | ART

SEEN LOCAL HE CANNES DO IT

W

hile some people daydream about robbing a bank in a blaze of debt-erasing glory, filmmaker Tanner J. Perry took a chance and made it happen.

In his short film, Aftermath, Perry tells the story of a band of bank robbers in the hours following a bank heist that’s gone terribly, terribly wrong. The tension is high in this nine-minute short, which was inspired by crime films such as Reservoir Dogs and Triple 9 and stars a few of Perry’s high school friends.

While most of our high school camcorder flicks documenting weed smoking at house parties thankfully never saw the light of day, Perry’s short will be seen by hundreds in the film industry as it has been selected to screen at the prestigious Cannes Film Festival.

“It hasn’t fully hit me. It goes in waves, but I’m definitely excited,” says the 20-year-old director who studies business and film at Mesa College. “It seems like people around me are more excited, which sounds bad because that’s not the case. But my coworkers are

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all kind of freaking out, and I’m like ‘yeah, I guess it’s cool.’”

Perry and his business partner came up with the idea for the film a year ago, but put it on the backburner. That changed once he had some free time and happened upon something that would change the course of this project forever: an online ad for discount hunting masks.

“They were like six for $15 and I thought ‘I’m just going to get those for no reason,’” he recalls. “Then I thought these would be cool robbery masks. And then I remembered, ‘Oh wait, I wrote a movie about a robbery. Why don’t I do that?’”

Perry may have not taken the Method approach by actually robbing a bank, even though he had the masks ready to go, but he did work with his lead actors to get as close to the real thing as possible.

“We looked up tons of pictures, drew diagrams and actually planned an elaborate bank Tanner J. Perry heist,” he says. “They taught it to the rest of the cast, how it would go down timing wise and tried to play it out.”

Perry heads to Cannes next week, where he is looking to network, shop around other scripts he’s written, and maybe score a party invite.

“I’ve heard those filmmaker yacht parties get pretty crazy,” he jokes. “So hopefully I get an invitation to one of those.”

—Alex Zaragoza

MAY 17, 2017 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · 41

CULTURE | FILM

End of days

Alien: Covenant

Ridley Scott’s perilous new Alien vehicle has extinction on the mind

by Glenn Heath Jr.

I

Previous Alien films adopted a very specific and f love and faith are weaknesses in the Alien franchise, they have remained essential factors differ- unique stylistic identity, from Scott’s pure horror entiating human from monster. Alien: Covenant, original to the grandiose haunted house theatrics of however, offers an altogether bleaker view of things. Prometheus. However, Alien: Covenant tries its hand at Set ten years after the events of 2012’s Prometheus, multiple different moods, visual styles and dramatic Ridley Scott’s latest installment graphically reveals tones. When the swift and lethal “neomorph” alien the pointlessness of having such emotions. Lives full finally protrudes from a character’s back, the scene of promise and hope are snuffed out with nasty glee. devolves into gut-churning grindhouse examination Characters must watch as their significant others are of bad timing and indecision. Later, Daniels turns into burned alive and ripped apart. What does it all mean? the second coming of Sigourney Weaver’s Ripley, attaching herself to the exterior of a flying ship in the In space, no one can hear you grieve.

The film’s obsession with brutality originates dur- film’s single full-blown action sequence.

The aesthetic hodgepodge matches Alien: Coving a mesmerizing verbal dance between biotech CEO Peter Weyland (Guy Pearce) and his prized synthetic enant’s interest in cross-pollination, experimentaandroid David (Michael Fassbender). Topics of their tion and philosophical grandstanding. There’s also a conversation include paternal responsibility, the origin strange obsession with musical expression and quotof species, Wagner and creation itself. Taking place in ing (or misquoting) literature from Shelley to Byron, most notably on display when an expansive white room overDavid and Walter share an intilooking a mountain lake, this mate flute lesson that borders opening scene establishes key ALIEN: on erotica. power hierarchies between man COVENANT In the process, Scott firmly and machine that will be violentDirected by Ridley Scott establishes two very different exly subverted throughout.

Starring Michael Fassbender, periential realities that are conFlash forward to the massive sistently at odds. The first conspace vessel Covenant, whose Katherine Waterston, Billy Crudup cerns artificial intelligence and crew lies dormant under the proand Danny McBride their organic evolution, the other tection of Walter (Fassbender), Rated R mankind’s final descent into irWeyland-Yutani Corp’s latest relevance. Caught scurrying in iteration of the service android.

Their seven-year colonizing voyage to an outlying the middle are the aliens themselves, a byproduct of planet is suddenly interrupted when solar flares maim both sides searching for the ultimate answers to life’s the ship’s recharging sail. This “random localized eternal questions.

Meticulously made and visually gorgeous, Alien: event” chars noble Captain Branson (James Franco), leaving pious first mate Oram (Billy Crudup) in charge. Covenant nevertheless frustrates and confounds, ofOf course natural disaster brings about an increased ten diminishing character complexity for faux-intelchance for human error, and the new leadership does lectualism. Waterston’s talents are mostly wasted, as their best to unwittingly ensure self-destruction. she never receives enough screen time to make DanWhen Covenant picks up an errant coded transmission iels a full-fledged feminist badass. Crudup’s relentless emanating from an Earth-like planet, Oram decides to piety is too obvious an Achilles heel. Scott feels more change course despite the objections of terraforming comfortable giving Fassbender the reins, and his dual expert Daniels (Katherine Waterston). “We have a re- performance takes precedent over all comers.

Which might explain Alien: Covenant’s evil spirit. If sponsibility to investigate,” he arrogantly says, exhibiting the same hubris of his cinematic predecessors. humans have wasted so many opportunities trying to Perceived as moral fortitude by Oram, this deci- make life better, then maybe it’s time for a permanent sion embodies the delusions of Manifest Destiny mul- reshuffling of the food chain. One particularly vindictiple centuries after Lewis and Clark’s exploration of tive voice in the film agrees: “They don’t deserve to America gave birth to the term. Instead of salvation, start again.” the Covenant crew finds nothing but horror and one familiar face. Going into any more detail would po- Film reviews run weekly.

Write to glennh@sdcitybeat.com tentially spoil key plot points.

42 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · MAY 17, 2017

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CULTURE | FILM has lived a sheltered life thanks to extreme allergies, but decides to explore the world after a charming boy moves in next door.

Hounds of Love: In the mid-1980s 17-year-old Vicki Maloney is randomly abducted from a suburban street by a disturbed couple. As she observes the dynamic between her captors, she quickly realizes she must drive a wedge between them if she is to survive. Opens Friday, May 19, at Digital Gym Cinema in North Park.

The Lovers

Dangerous liaisons

M

ost films see the end of a marriage as an opportunity for spectacle.

The Lovers depicts this process in laborious and meticulous detail.

Fluctuating emotions and profound confusion are equal parts of this suffocating purgatory, achieved from prolonged mutual disillusionment and drawn-out resentment.

Mary (Debra Winger) and Michael (Tracy Letts) have been unhappy for years; they are essentially strangers sharing the same living space. Currently mired in secret affairs, both are being pressured to end things by their respective lovers. Director Azazel Jacobs presents the set-up with an operatic sense of doom. Swooning camera movements and balletic music cues infuse their everyday betrayals with heightened melancholy.

But a funny thing happens on the way to divorce court: Mary and Michael fall back in lust with one another. They begin to skip out on clandestine meetings to spend more time with each other, creating a confounding new reality that seemed all but impossible just days before. Genuine warmth and attraction re-emerges during scenes of pure bliss and intimacy.

Letts and Winger make this transition seem organic playing newly rejuvenated characters once beset by years of dissatisfaction.

Jacobs never divulges exactly why

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they’ve grown so weary with each other, but does show the devastating impact this situation has had on their college-age son. When the young man returns home for a weekend visit with his new girlfriend, the new utopia is quickly destroyed.

The Lovers expresses brave flexibility toward human interaction even as it descends into convoluted melodrama in the final scenes.

Like he did with the dark comedy Terry starring John C. Reilly, Jacobs finds a sweet spot between indie angst and mainstream genre tropes, creating a messy vision of recycled romance that is often unclassifiable. Juggling multiple lives at once can be an addictive psychological drug when the dance partner matters less than the dance itself.

Obit: This documentary examines the daily routines and tasks of the obituary writers of the New York Times. Opens Friday, May 19, at the Ken Cinema.

Paris Can Wait: The wife (Diane Lane) of a successful but inattentive movie producer (Alec Baldwin) finds herself at a crossroads while travelling by car from Cannes to Paris.

The Last Men in Aleppo: In this harrowing documentary, members of the fabled White Helmets have tried to make a difference in war-torn Syria for five years. Now they prepare for intensified battles between government forces, rebel factions,and ISIS. Opens Friday, May 19, at Digital Gym Cinema in North Park.

The Lovers: Mary (Debra Winger) and Michael (Tracy Letts) are unhappily married and both having affairs with other people. But days before coming clean, they inexplicably fall back in love, leaving both confounded by an uncertain future.

For a complete listing of movies, visit F ilm on sdcitybeat.com.

—Glenn Heath Jr.

OPENING Alien: Covenant: Ridley Scott’s latest installment in the Alien franchise concerns the crew of a colonizing space mission who decide to alter their course in order to investigate a distress call from an unknown Earth-like planet.

Chuck: This biopic about the life and career of boxer Chuck Wepner stars Liev Schreiber, Naomi Watts and Elisabeth Moss.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul: The Heffley family’s road trip to a relative’s 90th birthday party goes awry thanks to a scheming child.

Everything, Everything: A teenage girl

MAY 17, 2017 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · 43

JAMIE WDZIEKONSKI

MUSIC

Kikagaku Moyo creates psychedelic visions through sound

by Jeff Terich

Kikagaku Moyo sychedelic music, by nature, is hard to separate from drugs. Psychedelic music rose to prominence in the 1960s as experimentation with LSD created a new, weird influence on rock ‘n’ roll. Then again, the best psychedelic music doesn’t necessarily require illicit substances to create a hallucinatory world of its own. It can take you on a journey simply through the way the human brain processes its strange, disorienting and effects-addled sounds.

Tokyo-based quintet Kikagaku Moyo (whose name means “geometric shapes”) has, over the course of two full-length albums and three EPs, built up a particular brand of psychedelia that’s unpredictable, always evolving and often feels like a refuge from the real world. They’re at times meditative and dreamy, and elsewhere freewheeling and loud. And while it’s become trendy of late for psychedelic bands, particularly in the United States, to adopt the aesthetics of the 1960s, Kikagaku Moyo remain firmly planted in the present day.

That doesn’t mean they’re free from the influence of the genre’s forefathers, however, such as Blue Cheer, Can or early Pink Floyd. In a phone interview from the band’s tour van somewhere in New York state, drummer and vocalist Go Kurosawa says that the band loves the chaos and freedom in classic psych rock.

44 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · MAY 17, 2017

“We like that kind of sloppiness of ‘60s psychedelic music,” he says. “They just tried to capture expression with a sound. That’s pretty inspiring.”

Kikagaku Moyo’s own music is often controlled, beautifully executed and intricate, but even they aren’t immune from the lure of letting loose with a fiery jam session. The group showcases two contrasting sides on last year’s House in the Tall Grass and the newly released EP Stone Garden, which came out in April via Guruguru Brain. Where the former is atmospheric and densely layered, draped in a serenely gauzy atmosphere, the latter is much looser and urgent, having been born of lengthy sessions of improvisation that were recorded over a few days in Prague.

Those sessions were then refined and edited down in the studio into more digestible, manageable highlights that range from the Comets on Fire-like jet-fuel blast of “Backlash,” to the shimmering raga-pop of “Nobakitami” and the billowing cloud of guitar effects on “Trilobites.”

Improvisation is a significant part of Kikagaku Moyo’s identity, but while it’s a technique at the heart of Stone Gar-

den, it’s also one they employ sparingly in the studio. The band—which comprises Kurosawa, guitarists Tomo Katsurada and Daoud Popal, bassist Kotsuguy and sitarist Ryo Kurosawa—doesn’t rely on freeform jams that often when writing songs or crafting albums. But when they’re onstage, it offers them an opportunity to present themselves in a more genuine, unpolished manner.

“I think it’s really important to be free on the stage, to have this state of mind where we can try whatever we want,” he says. “It’s a way to show who we are, and we can’t hide during improvisation. When we make a mistake, the audience hears the mistake. And if we want to go louder, we just get louder, or quieter. It’s showing the total of our emotions at the moment, and that’s created by communicating onstage. It’s a really human aspect, an organic part of performing.”

The band’s commitment to delivering a compelling live show has brought them to stages throughout the globe, from their native Japan to continental Europe and North America.

And along the way, they’ve observed some noteworthy differences in how audiences in different parts of the world perceive their music. For instance, while Northern European crowds are a little more laid back, Americans tend to live up to their reputation as being a little unruly.

“American audiences have more energy. I feel like people in the U.S. are really energetic. They know how to have fun,” he says. “Even if you don’t know the band, you’re feeling it. But in Japan, people actually come to listen, so they don’t talk while the bands are playing, even if the band is really bad. People are just quiet and listen really well. So it’s a really calm vibe and you can just enjoy the music.

Sometimes in the U.S. there’s someone who’s drunk and really loud, but that doesn’t really happen in Japan, and sometimes we don’t get that energy from the audience and it makes us nervous.”

With both Stone Garden and House in the Tall Grass, Kikagaku Moyo live up to psychedelic rock’s ideal of taking the listener somewhere foreign and strange. Yet they do so in much different ways, as do earlier releases such as Mammatus Clouds, which features two massive tracks that extend beyond 15 minutes each and progress almost like classical compositions. Kikagaku Moyo never allow the audience to get too comfortable with one sound or style, because as Kurosawa explains, the band’s own favorite artists wouldn’t do that either.

“We admire bands or artists—or writers or whatever—when they’re always trying to do something different,” he says. “Even if it’s not what the audience wanted, they do a new thing. I think, as humans, our emotions and our interests change over time.

And that’s normal. So music is kind of the same way for us.

We’re not trying to do any specific one thing.”

Write to jefft@sdcitybeat.com.

Follow him on Twitter at @1000TimesJeff

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may 17, 2017 · San Diego CityBeat · 45

MUSIC

NOTES FROM THE SMOKING PATIO LOCALS ONLY

T

he Young Wild have released a new web video series, titled You’ve Seen This Before. The series contains 10 videos, which depict the band going through the trials and tribulations of learning to better market their brand, with plenty of absurd input from industry suits and fans on social media. The series began as a way for the band to better show audiences their personalities outside the music, which singer Bryan William said was suggested to them by some of the marketing and management people they work with.

“Someone on our team was suggesting or encouraging us to engage more with fans of the band,” he says. “The example was something like an Instagram video of us hanging out—a lot of people don’t really know who you are, even if they know your music.”

You’ve Seen This Before is a lot more elaborate than an Instagram video, however. Each of its 10 videos is essentially its own sketch, some of which lean more toward comedy while others incorporate more artful cinematography and dance. Yet one of the inspira-

tions for the series was IFC’s hit sketch comedy show, Portlandia, and they take that absurdity and run with it. For example, in one video a Twitter fan suggests their bass player be transformed into a cat. It’s a way of poking fun at the sometimes frustrating experiences of working in the music industry, William says.

“The music business can be all over the place.

Sometimes the best medicine can be playing a show for one person in the middle of the country,” he says. “Humor is a pretty good antidote for us. We have some good experiences to draw from as a band.”

While Bryan says none of the actual scenes in the series depict anything that actuThe Young Wild ally happened to them, they’ve had their share of cringe-worthy experiences, which they’ve chosen to have a little fun with.

“At the core of it, we just love creating,” he says.

“When you don’t pull it off, maybe it shouldn’t depress you. Maybe it’s just really funny.”

—Jeff Terich

ALBUM REVIEW Manuok The Gift Horse (Chain Letter Collective)

M

anuok has been a staple of San Diego indie music for more than a decade, Scott Mercado and company’s first self-titled album having been released in 2005 when it presented the band as a complex and nuanced outlet for songwriting and entrancing instrumentals. They’re one of the few bands to have been compared to Radiohead while actually deserving it, partially as a result of Mercado’s vocal range (not quite as vast as Thom Yorke’s but still impressive) and the band’s atmospheric, emotional take on art rock. As trends have come and gone in San Diego—surf punk, garage rock, dancepunk, etc.— Manuok has always been on their own wavelength.

The Gift Horse, Manuok’s new full-length, finds Mercado’s approach as intricate and deeply layered as ever, with immaculate and gorgeous production from the get-go. First track “Cycles” doesn’t explode out of the gates or open the record with bombast. In fact, it’s actually much subtler than the tracks that follow, a lushly jazzy waltz that breaks between verses to allow in some beautifully stark plucks of acoustic guitar.

Yet just one track later, The Gift Horse opens up into the kind of dramatic and haunting art rock that con-

46 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · MAY 17, 2017

nected them to bands like Radiohead in the first place.

It’s dark and powerful, not unlike the more accessible moments of fellow San Diegans The Black Heart Procession. It’s also an early taste of the kind of perfect pop that Manuok subtly disguises in elaborate arrangements.

Given Manuok’s gift for creating music that sounds big, it’s a bit surprising that The Gift Horse is a relatively brief record, extending only a short distance past the 30-minute mark. Yet while few of these tracks ever reach four minutes in length, they deliver massive statements within that brief duration. “California” is the album’s longest song at 4:16, and in that time builds up into a majestically melancholy dirge, while “The Edge” balances gentle acoustic instrumentation with eerie ambience and “Etalia” shifts continuously throughout its three epic minutes, juxtaposing spacious effects with intriguing chord changes and an eventual rock climax with plenty of fuzz. There’s a lot to absorb on this album, enough that it might require an immediate second spin. So if you have an hour to spare, listening to it twice isn’t a bad way to go.

—Jeff Terich @SDCITYBEAT

@SDCityBeat

may 17, 2017 · San Diego CityBeat · 47

MUSIC

JEFF TERICH

IF I WERE U A music insider’s weekly agenda WEDNESDAY, MAY 17

PLAN A: Poptone, Nostalghia @ House of Blues. Poptone is a new band from two longtime collaborators, Daniel Ash and Kevin Haskins, who will be playing songs from throughout their combined catalog, including Love and Rockets, Bauhaus and Tones on Tail. It’s enough to warm an old goth’s heart. PLAN B: Kool A.D., Ceschi and Chisme, Preacher vs. Choir, These Hands Create, DJ Willy Gutz @ Til-Two Club. Kool A.D. is best known for being a member of irreverent hip-hop outfit Das Racist, who released a handful of excellent mixtapes and then broke up. He’s still killing it lyrically, however, and he’s playing a show with a great lineup of local hip-hop acts. BACKUP PLAN: Blessed, Buddy Banter, Exasperation @ Soda Bar.

and music that not only has some great talent, but is open to all ages. Three of San Diego’s best local bands will make it extra rockin’.

MONDAY, MAY 22

PLAN A: Flynt Flossy and Turquoise Jeep @ Soda Bar. Turquoise Jeep made their name off of viral video jams like “Lemme Smang It,” and they’re still smanging more than a half-decade later, with an arsenal of hip-hop tracks that are hilarious, but still bump. PLAN B: Omega Three, Spice Pistols, Dream Burglar @ The Casbah.

Need a show that brings the rock in ample amounts? Come here to catch some riffs from a trio of badass local groups that know their way around a fuzzy guitar.

B+

THURSDAY, MAY 18

PLAN A: Deaf Poets, Imagery Machine, Twin Ritual @ Soda Bar. Deaf Poets are a Florida garage rock band that supply copious amounts of fuzz and meaty hooks that you can really sink your teeth into. They’ll make your Thursday night a lot louder and rowdier, guaranteed.

FRIDAY, MAY 19

PLAN A: Thundercat @ Observatory North Park. Thundercat is a pretty talented dude. Sure, he can play bass like a motherfucker, but he’s also not a bad singer and can write a great R&B tune. So yeah, Thundercat can pretty much do it all. PLAN B: Holy Grail, Monolith, Malison, Meltdown @ Brick by Brick. Holy Grail’s brand of heavy metal is about as old school as it gets: big riffs, denim vests, awesome logo, lots of hair.

So if you miss the old-school ‘80s sounds of Maiden and Priest, they’re the band for you.

BACKUP PLAN: L.A. Witch, Mr. Elevator, Keepers @ Soda Bar.

SATURDAY, MAY 20

PLAN A: The Crawdaddys, The Allyrgic Reaction, DJs Richard Whig and Glynis Ward @ SPACE. The Crawdaddys have made their place in San Diego history, first forming in the late ‘70s with a sound that merged garage rock with R&B, and the occasional Velvet Underground cover. Get ready to groove to some rock ‘n’ roll from a band that’s been at it since before you were born.

SUNDAY, MAY 21

PLAN A: Gloomsday, Soft Lions, Big Bad Buffalo @ Public Square Coffee House.

Over in La Mesa, Public Square Coffee House is having a showcase of visual art

48 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · MAY 17, 2017

Thundercat

TUESDAY, MAY 23

PLAN A: Kikagaku Moyo, Sugar Candy Mountain, Hong Kong Fuzz @ The Casbah. Read my feature this week on Japanese psychedelic rock outfit Kikagaku Moyo, who can do both serenely hypnotic ballads and fiery freak-out jams. They’re a versatile batch of guitar- and sitar-slingers. PLAN B: Rodriguez, Arum Rae @ Humphrey’s by the Bay. Rodriguez has been one of the more inspiring comeback stories in recent years, undergoing a renaissance decades after essentially fading into obscurity. And his songs are great, which is the best reason to go see him. BACKUP PLAN: Hoops, Parts @ The Casbah.

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MUSIC

CONCERTS HOT! NEW! FRESH!

Stephen Lynch (Observatory, 6/13), Cymbals Eat Guitars (Casbah, 7/16), Khalid (Observatory, 7/19), Amigo the Devil (Soda Bar, 8/5), Atmosphere (Observatory, 8/20), Residente (Observatory, 8/27), GBH (Casbah, 8/27), Cigarettes After Sex (Irenic, 9/15), Public Service Broadcasting (Soda Bar, 9/26), Imagine Dragons (Mattress Firm Amphitheatre, 9/28), Tower of Power, Average White Band (Humphreys, 9/29), The National (Open Air Theatre, 10/12), The Kooks (Observatory, 10/20), D.R.I. (Brick by Brick, 11/10).

GET YER TICKETS Mount Kimbie (Music Box, 5/31), In-KoPah 4 w/ Mattson 2, Zig Zags, Mrs. Magician, Birdy Bardot (Desert View Tower, 6/3), Elvis Costello and the Imposters (Balboa Theatre, 6/5), The Anniversary (Irenic, 6/10), ‘91X X-Fest’ w/ Phoenix, Empire of the Sun (Qualcomm Stadium, 6/11), Ziggy Marley (Humphreys, 6/12), Raekwon (Observatory, 6/15), The Body (SPACE, 6/17), (Sandy) Alex G, Japanese Breakfast (Irenic, 6/17), King Crimson (Humphreys, 6/19), The Revolution (HOB, 6/22), The Game (Observatory, 6/23), Maxwell (Valley View Casino Center, 6/23), Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds (Civic Theatre, 6/26), Future (Mattress Firm Amphitheatre, 6/27), LeAnn Rimes (Del Mar Fairgrounds, 6/29), The Van-

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dals (Observatory, 6/30), Melvins (Casbah, 7/5), Deftones, Rise Against (Mattress Firm Amphitheatre, 7/7), The Roots (Observatory, 7/11), Mutoid Man (Casbah, 7/12), The Sword (BUT, 7/18), Hall & Oates, Tears for Fears (Valley View Casino Center, 7/19), Beach Fossils (Casbah, 7/20), BadBadNotGood (Observatory, 7/20), Dead Kennedys (Brick

by Brick, 7/21), Seun Kuti and Egypt 80 (BUT, 7/21), Taking Back Sunday (Observatory, 7/28), Steve Gunn (SPACE, 7/30), Huey Lewis and the News (Humphreys, 8/1), AFI, Circa Survive (Open Air Theatre, 8/1), Metallica (Petco Park, 8/6), 10,000 Maniacs (BUT, 8/6), Steve Earle and the Dukes (BUT, 8/10), Incubus, Jimmy Eat World (Mattress Firm Amphitheatre, 8/11), Hans Zimmer (Viejas Arena, 8/12), Royal Blood (Observatory, 8/15), X (BUT, 8/17), 311 (Open Air Theatre, 8/20), Bryan Ferry (Humphreys, 8/23), Mew (Observatory, 8/24), Dierks Bentley (Mattress Firm Amphitheatre, 8/25), Pelican, Inter Arma (Brick by Brick, 8/26), Pink Martini (Humphreys, 8/26), The Gipsy Kings (Humphreys, 8/27), Ira Glass (Balboa Theatre, 8/27), George Benson, Kenny G (Humphreys, 9/10), Goo Goo Dolls (Open Air Theatre, 9/12), Green Day (Mattress Firm Amphitheatre, 9/13), Indigo Girls (Humphreys, 9/13), Steve Winwood (Humphreys, 9/14), Black Uhuru (BUT, 9/15), Against Me! (Observatory, 9/16), Future Islands (Open Air Theatre, 9/17), The Beach Boys (Humphreys, 9/23), Sublime With Rome, The Offspring (Mattress Firm Amphitheatre, 9/26), Jay Som (Soda Bar, 9/30), The Shins, Spoon (Open Air Theatre, 10/1), Father John Misty (Observatory 10/5-6), Depeche Mode (Mattress Firm Amphitheatre, 10/6), Coldplay (Qualcomm Stadium, 10/8), The Afghan Whigs (BUT, 10/12), The Black Angels

(HOB, 10/17), Café Tacuba (Observatory, 10/17-18), Linkin Park (Mattress Firm Amphitheatre, 10/20), KMFDM (HOB, 10/20), Jimmy Buffett (Mattress Firm Amphitheatre, 10/21), Carla Morrison (Humphreys, 10/22), Luke Bryan (Mattress Firm Amphitheatre, 10/27), Halsey (Viejas Arena, 11/5), Hamilton Leithauser (BUT, 11/9), Fall Out Boy (Viejas Arena, 11/15), Blues Traveler (HOB, 11/19), Mogwai (Observatory, 11/20).

MAY WEDNESDAY, MAY 17 Marty Stuart at Belly Up Tavern. Six60 at The Casbah.

THURSDAY, MAY 18 Chris Stapleton at Mattress Firm Amphitheatre. Matthew Logan Vasquez at The Casbah. DIIV at Music Box.

FRIDAY, MAY 19 Robin Trower at House of Blues. Woods at The Casbah. Thundercat at Observatory North Park. Holy Grail at Brick by Brick.

SATURDAY, MAY 20 Back to the Garden at Poway OnStage.

Magic Giant at The Casbah (sold out).

Sweet Spirit at Soda Bar. Rubblebucket at The Casbah. The Iron Maidens at Brick by Brick.

SUNDAY, MAY 21 Ann Wilson at Belly Up Tavern. The Strumbellas at Observatory North Park.

MUSIC CONTINUED ON PAGE 50

MAY 17, 2017· SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · 49

MUSIC MUSIC CONTINUED FROM PAGE 49 MONDAY, MAY 22 Bryan Adams at Open Air Theatre.

TUESDAY, MAY 23 Rodriguez at Humphreys by the Bay. Catfish and the Bottlemen at House of Blues. Draco Rosa at Music Box. Kikagaku Moyo at SPACE. Hoops at The Casbah.

rCLUBSr

710 Beach Club, 710 Garnet Ave., Pacific Beach. Fri: Arise Roots, True Press. Sat: Rare Form, Sofa King Bueno, Mango Habanero, Hall Pass. Tue: JT Bevy.

Air Conditioned Lounge, 4673 30th St., Normal Heights. Wed: ‘Love Notes’ w/ DJs Blackbelt Jonez, Dr. Birdski. Thu: ‘Centerpiece’ w/ DJ Eliasar Gordillo. Sat: ‘Juicy’ w/ DJ Girth. Sun: ‘Chvrch’ w/ DJs Karma, Alice.

American Comedy Co., 818 B Sixth Ave., Downtown. Thu: Blake Wexler. Fri: Norm MacDonald. Sat: Norm MacDonald.

Sun: Norm MacDonald.

The Bancroft, 9143 Campo Road, Spring Valley. Thu: Fornicators, Schadenfreuders, Native Tongue, Killroy, FUKM. Fri: Bears Among Men, BloodPig. Sun: If I Fail, Food For Wolves.

Bar Pink, 3829 30th St., North Park. Wed: ‘Temple Party’. Thu: DJ Ikah Love. Fri: ‘Class Project’ w/ DJs Grimm, Old Man Johnson. Sat: ‘Neon Beat’; Pale Angel, Toys That Kill, Cruz Radical. Sun: ‘Rat Sabbath’. Mon: Tori Roze and the Hot Mess. Tue: DJ Marshall Islands.

50 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · MAY 17, 2017

Bang Bang, 526 Market St., Downtown.

Fri: Noir. Sat: Justin Jay. Beaumont’s, 5665 La Jolla Blvd., La Jolla. Thu: Sam Bybee. Fri: Modern Day Moonshine. Sat: Jones Revival.

Belly Up Tavern, 143 S. Cedros Ave., Solana Beach. Wed: Marty Stuart and His Fabulous Superlatives, Sean McConnell. Thu: Grim Slippers, Taken by Canadians, Mrs. Henry. Fri: The Spazmatics, Calphonics. Sat: Wild Child, Chris Torres Band. Sun: Ann Wilson. Tue: Tommy Mitchell Show.

Black Cat Bar, 4246 University Ave., City Heights. Fri: Low and Be Told, Cochinas Locas. Sat: Mezzanine.

Blonde, 1808 W. Washington St., Mission Hills. Wed: ‘Dance Klassique’ w/ DJ Garth . Thu: ‘A1’ w/ DJs Dunekat, L . Fri: Thomas Bullock. Sat: ‘Lady Lush’ w/ Red Sonya, Arielle Z, Michi, Sarah Cranberry.

Mon: Collapsing Scenery, Ese & Zain.

Tue: Mood Beach, Noble War, Butter.

Boar Cross’n, 390 Grand Ave., Carlsbad. Thu: Sol Remedy, Synyrgy. Fri: ‘Club Musae’.

Brick by Brick, 1130 Buenos Ave., Bay Park. Fri: Holy Grail, Monolith, Malison, Meltdown. Sat: Iron Maidens, Symbolic, Seventrain, Nightshadow, RDG. Casbah, 2501 Kettner Blvd., Midtown.

Wed: Tribal Theory, Roots of Creation, DJ Green T. Thu: Matthew Logan Vasquez, Juanita Stein. Fri: Woods, Golden Daze.

Sat: Magic Giant, Ki (sold out). Sun: Mother Mother. Mon: Omega Three, Spice Pistols, Dream Burglar. Tue: Hoops, Parts.

Dirk’s Nightclub, 7662 Broadway, Lemon Grove. Fri: Wild Rmour. Sat: Final Days.

The Field Irish Pub, 544 Fifth Ave., Downtown. Wed: Joseph Carroll. Thu: Amy and

the Unknown. Fri: Blue Jean Simmons.

Sat: Quel Bordel. Sun: Fiore. Mon: Dan Porter. Tue: BJ Jezbera.

F6ix, 526 F St., Downtown. Fri: DJ Scooter. Sat: DJ Mo Beatz.

Fluxx, 500 Fourth Ave., Downtown. Fri: Fabolous. Sat: Brett Bodley.

The Holding Company, 5046 Newport Ave., Ocean Beach. Wed: Fish Outta Water. Thu: Mario Maruak, Levi Dean & The Americats, Heidi & The Almighty’s. Fri: The Fooks, DJ Ofier. Sat: No Duh, DJ Chelu. Sun: Clique. Tue: 3 Finger Lid. House of Blues, 1055 Fifth Ave., Downtown. Wed: Poptone, Nostalghia. Fri: Robin Trower, Strange Vine. Sat: John Lindahl, Miklo. Sun: Jack Ingram, Jamie Lin Wilson. Mon: Blackbear, 24hrs, Elhae, Lil Aaron, Yung Pinch. Tue: Catfish and the Bottlemen, July Talk.

Humphreys Backstage, 2241 Shelter Island Drive, Shelter Island. Wed: The Fabulous Ultratones. Fri: Beta Maxx. Sat: Liquid Blue, Tradewinds. Sun: Wildside. Mon: Michele Lundeen. Tue: Taryn Donath.

The Irenic, 3090 Polk Ave., North Park.

Fri: SWMRS, No Parents, Mt. Eddy. Sat: Rubblebucket, Sego, Alexander F. Kava Lounge, 2812 Kettner Blvd., Midtown. Thu: ‘Acid Varsity’. Fri: Reptile Society. Sat: ‘Love Life After Party’.

Kensington Club, 4079 Adams Ave., Kensington. Sat: Mochilero All Stars, Unsteady, The Amalgamated.

Lestat’s Coffee House, 3343 Adams Ave., Normal Heights. Fri: The String Revolution. Sat: Mike Hood, Captain Viejo.

Sun: Robin Henkel Band.

MUSIC CONTINUED ON PAGE 52

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MUSIC

SPOTLIGHT I know some of you half-assed Mother’s Day this year—it happens to the best of us. So, to make up for that corny card and bouquet of CVS flowers, why not take her to see Bryan Adams? Twenty-five years later, Adams’ ballads “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You” (from the movie Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves) and “Heaven” still pack a punch to the heart, but it’s the palm-muted intro to his hit “Summer of ‘69” that keeps middle-aged women* yearning for that raspy-voiced, sensitive rogue. (*and me too). Bryan Adams plays Monday, May 22 at Cal Coast Credit Union Amphitheater.

—Ryan Bradford

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MAY 17, 2017· SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · 51

MUSIC MUSIC CONTINUED FROM PAGE 50 Loft @ UCSD, Price Center East, La Jolla. Thu: Colleen. Fri: Steady Holiday, EMAL, Graham Elliot. Sat: Lawrence Park, Seize This Day, Lyrical Groove. Tue: Tyshawn Sorey, Anthony Davis, Anthony Burr.

Mc P’s Irish Pub, 1107 Orange Ave., Coronado. Wed: Sophisticats. Thu: Harmony Road. Fri: Manic Bros. Sat: Mystique. Sun: Street Heart.

The Merrow, 1271 University Ave., Hillcrest. Wed: Retra, Imagery Machine, The Aires. Fri: Cowgirls From Hell, AntiTrust, GLAMel Töe, And Ever. Sat: Bossfight, Implants, Skipjack, Authentic Sellout.

Mon: Danny Black, Mel Washington, Nate Hess, J. Holland. Tue: Sisster, Darlene and Jasmine, Sarah Rogo.

Mr. Peabody’s, 136 Encinitas Blvd., Encinitas. Wed: Linda Berry and John January. Thu: California Rangers. Fri: It’s Never 2L8. Sat: Resurrection Radio, Adrienne Nims Spirit Wind. Sun: Tony Ortega Jazz Jam. Music Box, 1337 India St., Little Italy.

Thu: DIIV, The Paranoyds. Fri: Ill Nicky, Rob Law, YS & Bates, Nat-Z. Sat: ‘Groove International’.

Numbers, 3811 Park Blvd., Hillcrest. Fri: ‘Uncut’. Sun: R&B Divas.

The Office, 3936 30th St., North Park.

Wed: ‘Ceremony’. Sun: ‘Uptown Top Ranking’ w/ Tribe of Kings. Mon: ‘Metal Monday’ w/ DJ Luis Imperator. Tue: ‘True Bass’ w/ DJ Ramsey.

OMNIA Nightclub, 454 Sixth Ave., Downtown. Thu: Ghastly. Fri: Dash Berlin. Sat: Irie.

52 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · MAY 17, 2017

Panama 66, 1450 El Prado, Balboa Park.

Wed: Gilbert Castellanos jazz jam. Fri: Erika Davies. Sun: G Burns Jug Band.

Parq, 615 Broadway, Downtown. Fri: Chris Brown. Sat: Karma.

Rich’s, 1051 University Ave., Hillcrest.

Wed: DJs John Joseph, Kinky Loops.

Thu: DJ Moody Rudy. Fri: DJs Dirty Kurty, K-Swift, Myxslplix. Sat: DJs Hektik, Luke Allen. Sun: DJs Hektik, Casey Allen.

Riviera Supper Club, 7777 University Ave., La Mesa. Wed: ‘Boss Jazz’ w/ Jason Hanna. Thu: Alvino and the Dwells.

Fri: The Darling Brothers. Sat: Black Market III. Rosie O’gradys, 3402 Adams Ave., Normal Heights. Sat: Gino and the Lone Gunmen.

Seven Grand, 3054 University Ave., San Diego. Wed: Moth and Sons. Thu: Jimmy Ruelas. Fri: Ed Kornhauser Organ Trio. Sat: Chris Youmans and The Sound Agency. Mon: ‘Makossa Monday’ w/ DJ Tah Rei. Tue: Nathan Hubbard Trio.

Soda Bar, 3615 El Cajon Blvd., City Heights. Wed: Blessed, Buddy Banter, Exasperation. Thu: Deaf Poets, Imagery Machine, Twin Ritual. Fri: LA Witch, Mr. Elevator, Keepers. Sat: Sweet Spirit, The Lulls, Snowball II. Sun: Lion’s Law, Rat City Riot, The Hardknocks, New Breed.

Mon: Flynt Flossy and Turquoise Jeep.

Tue: Marty O’Reilly and the Old Soul Orchestra, Jasmine Bailey.

SOMA, 3350 Sports Arena Blvd., Midway.

Wed: As It Is, Roam, Grayscale, Sleep On It, Transpire. Sat: Never Shout Never.

Spin, 2028 Hancock St., Midtown. Fri: Christian Martin. Sun: Bot, Dateless.

SPACE, 3519 El Cajon Blvd., City Heights. Thu: ‘Slappers Only’. Fri: Bri-

an Ellis, XL Middleton, DJ Inform, TEC., Tony Adams. Sat: The Crawdaddys, Allyrgic Reaction, DJs Richard Whig, Glynis Ward. Sun: ‘Tear Drops Oldies’. Tue: Kikagaku Moyo, Sugar Candy Mountain, Hong Kong Fuzz.

Sycamore Den, 3391 Adams Ave., Normal Heights. Wed: ‘Dreams’ w/ DJ Gabe Vega. Thu: Burlesque Boogie Nights.

Sun: Cardboard Pioneers.

Til-Two Club, 4746 El Cajon Blvd., City Heights. Wed: Kool A.D., Ceschi and Chisme, Preacher vs. Choir, These Hands Create, DJ Willy Guttz. Sat: ‘Rollin Wit Tha Funk’. Sun: Pants Karaoke.

Tin Roof, 401 G St., Downtown. Wed: Kenny and Deez. Thu: Kyle Castellani.

Fri: Kenny and Deez. Sat: Cassie B Project, Kyle Castellani. Sun: Lindy Crandall.

Tue: Kenny and Deez.

Tower Bar, 4757 University Ave., City Heights. Wed: Fornicators, Calles, The Schadenfreuders. Fri: Neck Down, Research, The Midnight Block, Skidmarks of Society. Sat: Poontang Clam, Batlords.

U-31, 3112 University Ave., North Park.

Thu: ‘Thursdaze’. Fri: DJ Kid Wonder.

Sat: DJ Qenoe. Tue: ‘Electricity’ w/ DJ Heather Hardcore.

Whistle Stop, 2236 Fern St., South Park.

Wed: ‘Open Oscillator’. Thu: ‘Girls, Girls, Girls’ w/ DJ Lazer Lizeth. Fri: ‘F#ckin’ in the Bushes’. Mon: Crooked Bangs.

Winstons, 1921 Bacon St., Ocean Beach. Wed: Layne Tadesse, 7 Seal Club, DJ Carlos Culture. Thu: Joe Marcinek Band. Fri: Electric Waste Band. Sat: Gone Baby Gone, Fuzz Junkies, Dinosaur Ghost. Mon: Electric Waste Band. Tue: Dusty Green Bones, Smoky Hoof.

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may 17, 2017 · San Diego CityBeat · 53

LAST WORDS | ADVICE

ASTROLOGICALLY

CHRISTIN BAILEY

UNSOUND

Weekly forecasts from the universe, because the relative positions of dozens of celestial bodies can’t be wrong.

ARIES: I thought to mention the fire-activated seeds of plants and trees that require flames to germinate in some sort of metaphor, but I worry it might make you into a spiritual arsonist, or a regular one.

TAURUS: Play Tetris before you go to bed and dream of it all night. Same mantra as last week, “Flood my brain with the good chemical.” If you can manage to avoid the specifics of reality, then Heaven really is a place on Earth.

GEMINI: If you regularly feed the crows, they will form a certain kind of loyalty or attachment to you that they honor by bringing you gifts like seashells and broken CD-ROMs, if it has come to that for you.

CANCER: Channel your repressed rage where it will be encouraged and accepted: on the comments section of a news article shared by your estranged cousin.

LEO: You will find true love dozens of times this week in lingering glances shared with yourself in a reflective surface.

VIRGO: The planets have aligned in a specific way that dictate you must do one of these things: Take a ceramics class. Swallow a tapeworm. Play the upright bass. Learn state secrets and commit treason. Never play the upright bass.

LIBRA: You will spend the next week deciding where to part your hair before firmly and decisively deciding to do absolutely nothing different to it.

SCORPIO: You’re feeling pressured to confess. Instead, submerge yourself in the bathtub in psychic communion with ancient sheep preserved in an Irish bog, and remember that everything that stays hidden will remain intact for-(better or worse)-ever.

SAGITTARIUS: The bounty of the world! The universe and its infinite wonders! The promise of possibility, opening like a flower bud in the morning!

You’re right, it will all probably still be there tomorrow.

CAPRICORN: Your lucky color for this week is neon orange—like a traffic cone or a powdered cheese product. An ungentle reminder that nothing about this is normal or natural.

AQUARIUS: The difference between an alligator and a crocodile is only significant until you are caught in the jaws. Do you know what I mean? You will!

PISCES: Reality tends to be a barrier that prevents most people from buying wholesale into their delusions, but there’s a reason Pisceans are overrepresented by the numbers as serial killers. You’re getting away with it for now, I guess.

Astrologically Unsound appears every other week. Follow Christin Bailey on Twitter at @hexprax.

54 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · MAY 17, 2017

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may 17, 2017 · San Diego CityBeat · 55