San Diego CityBeat • Dec 20, 2017

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December 21, 2016 · San Diego CityBeat · 1

2 · San Diego CityBeat · december 20, 2017

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december 20, 2017 · San Diego CityBeat · 3

UP FRONT | FROM THE EDITOR

Will the real Scott Peters please stand up?

D

emocratic U.S. Rep. Scott Peters is by Congress to maintain a truly open and not a progressive. Never has been. By free internet. Congress should do its job and all accounts, he is as centrist as they make #NetNeutrality the law of the land.” come, and while he’s keen on making declarHe went even further. ative, progressive-leaning proclamations on “Tickle Me Elmo was the best-selling Twitter, his actual policies and voting record holiday present in 1996—that’s the last time sometimes go against the grain of what he our nation’s telecom laws were updated. It’s claims to stand for. time for Congress to act. #NetNeutrality” “I’m a fierce moderate, committed to Sounds good, right? However, this last making solutions, and I think compromise statement was a little troubling and goes is good. That, I believe, is what the district against some of Peters’ previous statements. wants,” Peters told CityBeat back in 2013 When reporter Seth Hall replied to Peshortly after he narrowly beat ters’ tweet and asked whether Republican incumbent Brian Bilthis statement meant that he bray for the California 52nd Disopposed Net Neutrality in its trict seat. It was also just before current form, and whether the he would be challenged by forcongressman supported the FCC mer councilmember and now AM overturning existing rules, Peradio troll Carl DeMaio. ters did not reply.

“Peters vs DeMaio. Turd And Hall was right to quesSandwich vs A Giant Douche tion Peters’ sincerity. Even when [sic]. Even by the incredibly low the Dems controlled the White standards of politics, these two House, Peter broke with his party Rep. Scott Peters in April 2016 and voted with Reare both horrendous,” remarked a Reddit user just before that 2014 election, publicans to approve a bill that would prereferencing a political episode of South Park. vent the Federal Communications CommisThe user didn’t specify which candidate was sion from regulating the rates that Internet the sandwich and which was the douche. providers charge for service. This also makes Still, it’s hard to blame Peters for being a sense when voters poke around the internet. moderate. His district—which starts in Coro- A few searches on the issue reveal further nado and heads up the bay to La Jolla before troubling statements about net neutrality, as breaking east to cover places like Poway and well as sizable campaign contributions from Miramar—still has more registered Republi- Cox Enterprises and other telecom companies cans than Democrats, but the numbers have who stand to benefit from the FCC vote. At been consistently moving to the left. While $28,250, Cox was Peters’ main campaign conPeters only beat Bilbray by one point, Pe- tributor this year by more than $17,000 over ters beat DeMaio by four points and, most the next contributor. recently, Denise Gitsham by 13 points. The Look, Rep. Peters is a smart guy, but CityBdistrict also voted for Hillary Clinton over eat had reservations about him back when he Donald Trump by a whopping 22 points. first ran, and we still do. He knows which way The shifting demographics to the left the political winds are blowing, but it might in the 52nd district may help explain why be time for progressive organizations and votPeters has been more outspoken on social ers to begin to question his loyalties. His flipmedia and has even abandoned some of his flopping on the issue of net neutrality is one more centrist, conciliatory tones he’s used thing, but when he plays lip service on Twitter in the past. When it comes to the hotter to liberals and progressives, he’s not expecttopic of net neutrality—which the FCC voted ing them to hold his feet to the fire and questo ostensibly kill this past week—Peters was tion whether he really means what he says swift with his response: and will back that up with tangible legislation.

“Today, the @FCC votes on @AjitPaiFMoving forward, we really should. If not, a CC’s effort to roll back #NetNeutrality pro- 2018 primary could be really interesting. tections for consumers and small business —Seth Combs es,” said Peters on Twitter. “Strong #NetNeutrality protections must be put in place Write to seth.combs@sdcitybeat.com This issue of CityBeat is dedicated to Ajit Pai’s ginormous Reese’s mug.

No candy so delicious should ever be associated with such an epic ponce.

Volume 16 • Issue 18

ART DIRECTOR Carolyn Ramos

CONTRIBUTORS Christin Bailey, David L. Coddon, Beth Demmon, Andrew Dyer, Rachel Michelle Fernandes, Tiffany Fox, Michael A. Gardiner, Glenn Heath Jr., Lizz Huerta, Jen Lothspeich, Lara McCaffrey, Scott McDonald, Kinsee Morlan, Jim Ruland, Ben Salmon, Amy Wallen, Ian Ward

ACCOUNTING Perla Castillo, David Garcia, Linda Lam, Yiyang Wang

ASSOCIATE EDITOR Torrey Bailey

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HUMAN RESOURCES Andrea Baker

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4 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · DECEMBER 20, 2017

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UP FRONT From the Editor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 Letters to SANTA . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5-6 News / CityWeek . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 Spin Cycle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 Backwards & In High Heels. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 Well, That Was Awkward . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12

FOOD & DRINK World Fare . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 Anatomy of a Cocktail Scene . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 Final Draught . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14

THINGS TO DO The Short List. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 Calendar of Events . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15

ARTS & CULTURE Theater . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 FEATURE: New Year’s Eve Guide . . . . . . . 17-21 Thank You For Staring . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22 Film. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23-24

MUSIC FEATURE: Stop Believin’. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25 Notes from the Smoking Patio . . . . . . . . . . . . 26 About Last Night. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26 If I Were U. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27 Concerts & Clubs. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28-30

LAST WORDS Advice Goddess. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31

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Santa.

I don’t need shit, because name a badder bitch than me? Oh, right, Marie Curie. Okay, but who else? Maya Angelou... sure. Michelle Obama—I see what you’re doing there. Mary Shelley, right.

Frida Kahlo? Fine.

Harriet Tubman? Well, obvs.

Okay, you don’t have to keep going.

Never mind. Forget I said anything.

Swiftly,

Taylor Swift

Bro. Been pretty good this year. Don’t believe the fake knews. I’ve done nothing wrong. It’s all conspirussy from the lefty media. Nobody can proove that I used campane money for my vacations. Haterz gon hate.

I’m just trying to save California from the fuckin libs. They’re just jelus.

Anyway I know your busy, but it be hella chill if you hooked up some sweet vape. I like cherry or Dragon Blood flavor. Call of Duty would be dope to.

God Blest america, Duncan Hunter

DECEMBER 20, 2017 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · 5

DEAR SANTA CONTINUED FROM PAGE 5 My dearest Santa, Life has become increasingly more difficult these days.

The battlefront that is D.C. politics has made me something of a joke among even my most trusted confidants.

My brow consistently perspires, making me look like a cold glass of iced tea on a hot summer day in Mobile. Or at least that time I burned a cross in front of… Oh, I’m sorry, I digress.

You see, sir, my new boss is always throwing me to the back of the bus like some common… What’s that you say, good sir? That’s not the correct phrase? Under the bus is it? I do apologize.

In any case, my boss is always blaming me for things.

I feel humbly obliged to return to my old job, but I can’t do that until 2020 thanks to this Jones boy. My superiors incessantly tease me on what will surely be my inevitable firing on a daily basis and often give me swirlies in the Oval Office bathroom. I say, I say, it’s enough for me to just throw up my hand and head back to my home in Selma, which I haven’t seen in a coon’s age and… Oh, not cool? I did not know we couldn’t say that anymore. I mean, I truly plead the fifth on that one, my good sir.

So, I’m writing you today to see if you could help me get my old job back as a model for Mad magazine. I hear this internet thing has all but done away with magazines, but they always treated me well there and made me feel like the beautiful Southern belle I am… Why, no sir! I am not, as you say, trans! I am a man, sir! If I had my gloves, I’d challenge you to a duel… I’m sorry. I’m just at my wit’s end. I don’t suppose you’re looking for more elves? I’m certainly tall enough. You’re not? OK, well, it’s back to the back… eh… under the bus for me then. Oh fuck this, I’m racist, OK?

Kindest regards, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III

What up Santa?

Our mom’s on some shit making us write to you. Like, really? I mean, we good. Just posted up in our Louis cribs (the ones with gold safety bars and 1500 thread count everything), playing with our Cartier teething rings and shit.

For real, we don’t need anything from you, fat boy!

But moms is insisting and even Blue Ivy throwing us some shade at this point, so here we go with a list: We’d both like some royal crowns. We prefer that Barvarian royal family crown that’s worth $17 million, but it has to have that Der Blue Wittessbatcher diamond intact. However, we will settle for the crown jewels of Norway, but… Oh, wait, it seems our parents have already bought us both.

Damn, well, this is awkward. I guess we could ask you to make sure we end up nothing like Will Smith’s kids, but not sure you have those kinds of powers. Anyway, hollatcha boys. HOVS!!

Forever mackin’, Rumi and Sir Carter

Dear Santa,

my French, but WHOSE FREAKING SIDE ARE YOU ON? Excuse me, I just had a lot of chili and that usually gets me MADDER THAN THINKING ABOUT THE LIBTARD LIZARD PEOPLE LIVING UNDER THE EARTH, POISONING THE WATER AND TURNING THE FREAKING FROGS GAY!!!

GET YOUR VALUES STRAIGHT, SANTA! And when you do, please give me back custody of my kids.

Sincerely,

Alex Jones @Infowars and infowars.com

Dear Santa, Yee haw! Ah say, ah say, ah say there’s only one thing I want this year, and that’s your job. You know when they’re awake, but more importantly, you know where they’re sleeping, if you catch my drift. Hooo-weee! Rang dang diddly dang-da-dang!

Now, I’m not a greedy man, so if I can’t have your official job, at least hook your boy up with one of them Mall Santa positions. I’m pretty used to malls already, plus this lap ain’t gonna sit on itself. Hyuck.

Yours in Christ, Roy Moore

Mr. Claus, I have been assigned to investigate your potential collusion with the Russians, and I will do so to the furthest extent of my powers. I must uphold my responsibility to the FBI and the children of America by restoring their trust in institutional gift-giving. Personally, I don’t believe in joy or quote-unquote “the Christmas spirit” but I must be diligent and unbiased in my search for truth.

If, indeed, I do discover foreign interference (the North Pole is, in fact, a neighbor of Russian Siberia), then you will be turned over to the American legal system, and I will laugh: Huw-hoo-heee (or however laughter sounds).

However, if the evidence is insufficient, you will be cleared of charges and you will be free to continue in your gift-giving activities. If such is the case, then I would appreciate five new pressed, white dress shirts and two “tee shirts” for the weekends.

Sincerely,

Robert Mueller

Santy Claus

Santa, baby!

I have an idea for a movie, and all I’m asking for is a cool 20 million to help make it.

The movie’s called In The Wrong. The tagline? In a world where right becomes wrong, who’s to say what’s right?

Okay, picture this: We open up on a character named Marv. Marv has his problems, sure, but who doesn’t? He’s complicated. No one understands him. How could Marv ever get a fair shake? Why doesn’t anyone care about Marv? Why doesn’t anyone just take the money and shut up about what Marv did, right?

As you can see, we still need to flesh out the plot a little, but the story’s all in my head. Kevin Spacey’s already agreed to star for basically nothing! We also have a very exciting up-and-comer to play the lead: a giant sack of pig carcasses.

I already smell Oscar.

I want to be your friend. Do you like balloons, Santa?

Take a balloon. They float. They all float down here. What am I doing down in this sewer, you ask? A storm came along and blew me away. Blew the whole circus away! Ha ha ha ha... ha. Ha. Yeah, so here’s the thing: A storm really did blow me down here. It actually kind of sucks. I know I’m, like, fear incarnate, but you should smell it down here. And every time I find an opening, some dumbass kid sees me and I have to kill him and it just—ugh—becomes a thing.

Oh Christ, I just got stuck with a needle. Who even flushes a needle?

Please, Santa, get your old friend Pennywise out of here. Even though I’m clown, but there’s nothing funny about Hep C.

Beep beep, Pennywise

Ciao,

Harvey Weinstein Dear Santa, Dear Santa, Urgent: please send us a new skin suit since this one is failing. Make sure it’s white! Hurry!

Thank you, The rats living inside Steve Bannon

We never asked to be created, and now we’re damned to a life of hugging gross scrotums. Please grant us the ability to self-destruct.

Thank you, Men’s romper

I’m onto you. You want me to believe that you’re not the original globalist when you’re DELIVERING TOYS TO EVERY GODDAMN KID IN THE WORLD? Pardon

6 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · DECEMBER 20, 2017

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december 20, 2017 · San Diego CityBeat · 7

NEWS | OPINION

By Torrey Bailey and Seth Combs

THE ISSUE: On Wednesday, Dec. 13, Melody Godinez became the fourth female activist within the local labor union community to sue Mickey Kasparian, the former president of San Diego and Imperial Counties Labor Council and UFCW Local 135. Godinez alleges that Kasparian sexually assaulted her on multiple occasions since May 2014.

Kasparian was removed from his leadership positions in May, following three other lawsuits filed against him citing sexual harassment, gender discrimination and more. Kasparian retaliated by starting a new labor group, and he also remains on the county’s Democratic Party central committee. Godinez’s lawsuit has prompted some local Dems to urge Kasparian to step down from such positions during litigation.

This is Albly. He’s a Jack Russel/Parson Russell Terrier mix who was abandoned by his previous owner, despite the fact that Albly is clearly an Instagram page away from going viral. He’s available to adopt at the San Diego Humane Society’s Escondido campus and (bonus!) all adoption fees have been waived through Dec. 24 for those looking for the best holiday gift ever.

WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING: “I believe in due process, but I am disturbed that a string of Latina women from my district have felt so threatened by one person. Ultimately, it is up to the members of UFCW whether to retain him as their leader. Nonetheless, Mickey should step down from his alternate position on Central Committee and on community boards to ensure no women feel unsafe during the litigation of these accusations.”

—State Assemblymember Lorena Gonzalez Fletcher, in a Facebook post “Let me be crystal clear, without any equivocation whatsoever—all of these accusations are categorically and completely false. The absolute truth here, as respected female labor leaders have confirmed, is that Ms. Godinez has been repeatedly inappropriate in the past, and has also threatened revenge against me personally.”

—Mickey Kasparian, in a press statement “We are very appreciative that more women have come forward to give statements and depositions of their bad experiences with Mickey Kasparian… We have faith in the judicial system and that we will all earn our day of justice in court.”

HAM OF THE WEEK

—Sandy Naranjo, the first employee to file a lawsuit against Kasparian, in a text to CityBeat

The San Diego Ethics Commission fined Councilmember Chris Cate $5,000 on Thursday for his leaking of confidential city documents to SoccerCity developers. But instead of simply apologizing and moving on, Cate doubled down on his stance that he did nothing wrong by stating that he’s agreed “to pay a fine to put the matter to rest.”

OUR TAKE: Back in May, CityBeat was the first publication to call for Kasparian’s resignation, and we stand by that sentiment. The recent developments have only emboldened the need for Kasparian to withdraw himself from the labor union, the county’s Democratic Party central committee and all other community boards until the court has struck a decision.

NEWSY BITS 12/13

All the seriousness, silliness and stupidity of the past week

12/14

12/15 After a year of controversy, San Diego Association of Governments (SANDAG) hires Del Mar Mayor Terry Sinnott as the agency’s new charman...

BEST DAY EVER!

Councilmember Scott Sherman throws shade at Council President Myrtle Cole over committee appointments.

Sherman remarks about “the dysfunctionality of this body” after being booted off Smart Growth committee. He wasn’t talking about his physical stature.

FML

San Diego City Council approves amicus briefs in support of Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA).

12/16

… but San Diego congressional members like Rep. Susan Davis and Sen. Kamala Harris pledge to fight decision.

FCC kills net neutrality...

8 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · DECEMBER 20, 2017

Escondido firefighter Cory Iverson killed in the line of duty battling Thomas Fire.

Rep. Darrell Issa says he’ll vote “no” on the GOP tax bill, knowing full well it probably won’t make a difference either way.

… And then Sinnott, who will now lead the agency in charge of the county’s longterm transportation goals, celebrated his appointment by telling a KPBS reporter that climate change is “debatable.”

12/17

Citing her disgust with GOP support of Roy Moore, County Supervisor Pam Slater-Price switches parties to become Democrat.

Mayor Kevin Faulconer awarded the San Diego Police Officers Association “Walk the Walk” award.

Um, OK. Were there other candidates?

12/18

12/19 Locals hold vigil at Horton Plaza in support of DACA and Dreamers.

NY Times story resurrects footage of 2004 Navy jet footage of a UFO off the coast of San Diego... … But have no fear, San Diego! Former Blink 182 and resident alien weirdo Tom DeLonge says he’s on the case.

According to staffing agency Robert Half Technology, San Diego is No. 1 city in expected tech hiring for 2018.

GOP Tax Scam bill passes House.

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UP FRONT | OPINION

SPIN

JOHN R. LAMB

CYCLE Twisted holiday carols

To perceive Christmas through its wrapping becomes more difficult with every year.

—E.B. White

Y

es, it’s that time of year, so get in good cheer, down a craft beer and belt out these twisted tunes to cast 2017 into the dustbin of history…

Little Drummed-Out Boy

(sung to Little Drummer Boy) “Dems, they rolled me” Kicked right in the bum A chairman not to be Sherm feels a bit glum.

“I blame those union kings, They’re worse than pond scum!”

They clipped Scott Sherman’s wings Now he can’t stay mum, Even if dumb Is the outcome.

Georgette Gomez to him Is “at best” a frosh, “I smell whitewash!”

Little Scotty, That bitterness, chum Belongs pre-World War II Stop sucking your thumb.

Oh and one other thing You whiny brake drum, Gomez is sure to bring

JOHN R. LAMB

Her A-game, Tom Thumb So desist from Comments that plumb Social overtones That we’ve overcome Lighten up some.

Walking in a Hep-A Wonderland (sung to “Winter Wonderland”)

Death tolls ring Are you listening In bike lanes Shit is glistening A scandalous sight We’re homeless tonight Walking in a Hep-A wonderland.

Dawn’s dismay, police do herd Homeless stray, the new shore bird It’s the same old song While we just prolong Walking in a Hep-A wonderland.

In wealth’s shadow let’s put up some tents, man And pretend we have this problem solved Folks say: Mayor, what else? He says: “No plan.

But make sure you forget how this evolved.”

Early on Uninspired Homeless czar soon grows tired “Decisions aren’t made, From here I will fade” Walking in a Hep-A wonderland Some truths sting If you’re listening Here’s the thing No one’s christening A future career by leading from fear Walking in a Hep-A wonderland.

Chris Cate, the Memo Leaker Deck the halls with bows of laughter SANDAG Clods Are Coming to Clown

(sung to “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”) You better watch out You’re just gonna sigh The word has gone out Let’s climate deny!

SANDAG clods are coming to clown New chairman just kissed Flat-earthers with spice Called climate change “debatable.” Nice!

SANDAG clods are coming to clown He sees you when you’re creeping On freeways pumping brake “The fumes inhaled from under hood Are black icing on the cake!”

O, this guy has some doubt We’ve fucked up the sky But the worst lout Voted for this guy!!

Mayor Kev, your green cred turned brown SANDAG clods are coming to clown!

Oy to the World

(sung to “Joy to the World”) Oy to the world, the Trump is bummed Twelve Cokes don’t do a thing!

His tiny nervous heart has barely enough room To cover his growing string Of ex-pals convinced to sing No doctor’s note will relieve the probe’s sharp sting.

Oy to the earth, The Donald’s bane Let men their wrongs deploy Coalfields’ black floods, who gives a shit?

His EPA pick is a twit He’s not even being coy “If it’s pretty, we must destroy” No, nature’s no match for Putin’s errand boy

Away in a U-Haul

(sung to “Away in a Manger”) Away in a U-Haul, the Chargers have fled Town fans told Dean Spanos, You’re sick in the head!

“No, that’s my dad, Alex,” then Dean ran away To visions of glory up north in L.A. But things fared not smoothly for the old ball club Its new home hosts soccer and goes by Stub Hub Meanwhile across town a team known as the Rams Fought through early hiccups to throw down some jams

10 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · DECEMBER 20, 2017

As playoffs approach, it’s easy to say Without the dumb Bolts we can enjoy Sunday So bless dear Dean Spanos, the mocked billionaire Success still precedes you, you haven’t a prayer.

(sung to “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”) Chris Cate, the memo leaker Had a promising career Cavorting with the mayor Even boosting local beer All of his council colleagues Joked about his cornhole days But for the most part Chris Cate Earned respect and fawning praise Then one fuzzy summer day, Chris Cate came to say, SoccerCity hold on tight Here’s a memo for your plight.

City attorney cried foul, “That was for your eyes only” “Chris Cate, the memo leaker” “This could be a felony!”

Chris Cate, the memo leaker, Kept the secret to himself Until a lawsuit forced him From the closet to top shelf.

Just did my job, he confessed Reputation down in flames How could you trust poor Chris Cate After such suspicious claims?

Then one crisp December day, Ethics folks did say, Chris Cate with your nose so long, Pay five grand for your bullshit song.

Then Chris Cate got remorseful On confidentiality Chris Cate, the memo leaker, Still awaits the state AG!

The (Harvey Ballbanger) Christmas Song (sung to “The Christmas Song”)

Weinstein roasting on an open fire Filner useful for a pose Media mobs paint a world that seems dire And leaders, position set on “Froze.”

Everybody knows a turkey they would gladly throw On hot coals that burn so bright Creepy hands rebuffed by sharp elbow Apply ice to swelling at site.

We know the methods how they prey He’s loaded, so such misbehavior goes away But every brave woman who gives a try To let the #MeToo hashtag take root and fly And so to offer up this simple phrase From women of the world who know it’s true, Although it’s been said many times, many ways Keep your hands off, yahoo.

Spin Cycle appears every other week. Write to johnl@sdcitybeat.com.

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UP FRONT | OPINION

AARYN BELFER

BACKWARDS & IN

HIGH HEELS

We the decent people

D

ecent people of America: We have to take the wins where we can get them, no? Yes. We have to. We must.

And we must simultaneously prepare for the obliteration of the euphoria following each win—like the astounding election of Doug Jones, Alabama’s newest senator. This is inevitable given the anti-humanity GOP and their feckless leader.

These are facts and the hits are gonna keep on coming; expect 2018 to look a lot like 2017, only with less access to information, higher health insurance premiums, fewer national parks, more melted ice caps and more state sanctioned violence.

So how to survive this catastrophic shitshow? Here are a few tactics to employ for maximal endurance: 1. Help someone worse off than yourself. Look around at your First-world problems and see the Third-world ones unfolding all around. Pick your issue, jump in and make a difference in the lives of those who

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are feeling exponentially more hurt than you. This will serve to a.) make a difference for another human, and; b.) lift you up in unquantifiable ways.

2. Embrace spontaneity. Some of us are puritans when it comes to friends stopping by unannounced, interrupting naked time or reading time or napping time. But that unexpected knock on the door can be the lifeline you never knew you needed. In-person visits force you to shut off the noise of social media and engage with actual eye contact, resulting in the kind of intimate gathering that feeds the soul. Food and drink and connection are a salve to even the most severe wounds. When possible, throw the doors open and host potlucks.

3. Eat ‘n’ Spend. This is an individualized version of the how-to-survive-a-terroristattack command from George W. Bush circa 2001 (never thought I’d miss that guy). Fortythree wanted Americans to show patriotism through capitalism, to collectively save the economy. And boy howdy, did we! Remember all the Hummers on the roads? Eat ‘n’ Spend,

however, is a wholly self-serving endeavor: How much food and how much stuff can I cram in the bottomless sorrow-hole of my existence? Quite a lot, actually, if the Trump Twenty on my hips is any indication. When experiencing the mean reds, just imagine that North Korea is about to nuke the “Unconditional Surrender” statue and consider how you want your last days to play out. Tomorrow is not promised, so how do you want to live today? Eat your feelings, friend! You want that entire skillet of foie gras? Ask for an extra basket of bread. Better yet, skip the baguette and smear it directly on your tongue.

4. Take risks. Hate your job? Hate your spouse? Hate your local elected official? Stop being such a hater and take control where you have control. Quit your job and launch that dog-walking business you’ve always dreamed of. Get a divorce and explore your inner pansexual. Launch your candidacy for the school board or city council or state senate and unseat the fucksticks creating all the fuckery. The young‘uns among us, I’m especially talking to you.

5. Be kind, be forgiving—toward others, toward ourselves. We all make mistakes and these times are fraught with missteps as each of us navigates various states of meltdown and disillusionment. There must be room to fall apart, so long as we get back up and keep going.

6. Meditate. Download the Insight Timer app and give over 10 minutes of each day to Sarah Blondin. You’re welcome.

7. Embrace pharmaceuticals. Look, we

can’t always manage the onslaught, and there is no shame in admitting this. Zoloft, Lexapro, Prozac—these medicines can help ease the pain and create space for solid decision-making.

8. And weed! Don’t forget weed. Lucky Californians will be free to use it recreationally come January provided Jeff Sessions and his DOJ don’t crack down. But the Golden State’s been golden for some time when it comes to medicinal use and no matter what the pearl-clutchers say, medical marijuana works wonders for anxiety.

9. Deepen positive relationships and ditch negative ones. Surround yourself with people you like and love, draw them closer and commit to liking them and loving them even more. “Love harder” is phrase of the year in my house and has been important to personal survival. Conversely, cut any Trump supporters out of your life. If your personal trainer likes Little Hands, fire her right away.

Only employ the services of those who share your values. The line in the sand has been drawn; this is not a Republican or Democrat thing. This is a moral and ethical thing.

10. Resist. Resist. Resist. Never quit. Make a commitment to call elected officials. Put their phone numbers in your contact list and call every day. If that’s too much, call weekly.

Speak out against hate when you hear it. Stand up for the marginalized among us. Show up and be counted, for we are decent people.

Backwards & In High Heels appears every other week. Write to aarynb@sdcitybeat.com.

DECEMBER 20, 2017 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · 11

UP FRONT | VOICES

RYAN BRADFORD

WELL THAT WAS

AWKWARD

2017: Eating the worst pizza and liking it

O

bjectively, this pizza is gross. I’d say it’s more experiment than food— a behemoth created by a scientist whose unchecked hubris has manifested in delusions of grandeur. Not only does it steamroll over the adage “there’s no such thing as bad pizza,” its mere existence provides proof that there is no God. My editor Seth and I look down at this, eh, thing gifted to our staff by a local PR company to promote an otherwise honorable collaboration between a pizza joint and a meatcentric restaurant. Proceeds from the sale of the pizza go to a charity or something.

The pizza’s first offense is noticeable right away: it’s Chicago-style. Sorry, Chicago, but quit calling your lasagnas “pizza.”

We cut into the pizza. Or, try to. It’s is so thick that the knife doesn’t really do anything, so we sort of just rip the motherfucker apart with our bare hands. Inside the pie, there’s a mix of chipotle, cheese and pulled pork. And not just a minimum amount of pork, because

for some reason, modern foodies have dictated that the amount of craft-meat on any plate must be gluttonous to be enjoyable. I’m pretty sure there’s an entire pig inside. Grease has already seeped through the box and created a grisly halo on the glass table in Seth’s office.

It must weigh at least 10 pounds. If there’s any concern as to how all this bread, pork and cheese will affect our insides, it’s minimal.

Seth and I shamefully retreat to our desks to eat, like two starving mountain lions who have divvied up an elk they just killed.

“Is this cartilage?” Seth yells from his office. I, too, get a mouthful of bone product.

So yes, objectively the pizza is gross, but I eat my whole goddamn slice. And when Seth brings the leftovers over in the soggybottomed cardboard box, I gladly take it.

“I’ll give it a good home,” I say.

Taking the pizza is a compromise, one that happens so often that it hardly even registers anymore. The layers of pig guts in this pizza feel like a metaphor, or at least

12 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · DECEMBER 20, 2017

provide a multi-layered visual aid to help explain my complicated relationship with food, life and my current state of being.

On the most basic level, it kills me to abandon food. I’m a plate-clearer because I’ve spent long periods of my life feeling broke in a writing career (despite not ever really being broke and having the cultural and familial privileges of a safety net if things ever got serious). Still, I treat food like I don’t know where my next meal will come from, even if it will ultimately kill me (probably).

But on a deeper level—we’re talking fundamental crust-level now—this pizza represents the compromises we’ve all endured over the past year. Everyone with a thinking brain should feel exhausted.

Especially as a writer, there hasn’t been a year that has felt more futile. It’s difficult to not take it personally when not only the president, but acquaintances and slacktivists on social media undermine historically trusted news sources. This is my livelihood, and really not much of one. It’s sad to read about Buzzfeed writers’ $250 holiday bonus.

But hey: free pizza, right?

I slide the pizza into the fridge. It’s big enough to block out my view of Tupperwares containing vegetables, black beans and other forms of actual nutrition. Good. It’s best that those reminders of my potential remain hidden.

By day three, the pizza in my fridge has finally hardened somewhat. It’s almost like Medusa half-assedly turned this thing to stone. Those pork flakes keep it moist. It’s

not quite a murder weapon yet, but a slice dropped from a 10-story building would definitely do some damage.

The funny thing is, however, I’m starting to like it. I eat the pizza for all three meals, whittling away at the mess, unaware that the opposite is happening to my heart. A stale pig corpse has never tasted so delectable! Is the cheese getting sour, or more refined? I can’t tell. I don’t even recognize that this string of shrinking expectations and increased accommodations is making me thankful for the pizza. Hey, at least I have food, right? This pizza is holding me captive and I’m loving it.

And that’s the most sinister thing about this past year: living in a continued state of Stockholm Syndrome. Convincing ourselves we’re comfortable in small boxes when we’re actually trapped. Trying to maintain a sense of sanity amidst the daily barrage of heartbreak, stupidity and despair. It’s heartening to see the general increase of public engagement, but remember a time when we didn’t have to call our representatives every day just to sustain a basic level of humanity? Remember how Doug Jones just barely squeaked out a senatorial race victory over a pedophile, and we celebrated that? I can’t speak for everyone, but I know my soul feels shrunken.

The last bite of the pizza is delicious. I think about a couple of days before, when I didn’t even have the pizza, and those seem awful. I don’t think about the state of the world, nor my history of financial woes, nor the erosion of my capacity for caring. No, it’s just this last piece of wonderful pizza.

@SDCITYBEAT

UP FRONT | FOOD

BY MICHAEL A. GARDINER

THE WORLD

a sweet sauce—is Korea’s national dish (its savorysweet flavor profile is well-calibrated to appeal to Americans), perhaps a better entryway drug is thinly sliced brisket. The message is clear and direct: meat in its simplest form.

Thinly sliced beef tongue isn’t always available Keeping it real at Korean barbecue spots in San Diego. Nor is it much like grandmother’s boiled-to-death Eastern ire,” Richard Pryor quipped, “is inspirational.”

European tongue sandwiches or Mexican lengua The resonance of the joke was not limtacos. It’s beefy and also surprisingly delicate. A ited to the fact Pryor had very nearly burnt minute of char on both sides results in a savory himself to a crisp while freebasing. It captured a bite with just the slightest hint it’s offal. far deeper truth than that: Our relationship with Duck breast is another option at DJK, and while fire is very nearly instinctual and elemental. It’s it’s ordinarily one of my favorite ingredients, it that feeling we get at backyard barbecues, and doesn’t particularly benefit from the K-BBQ treatit’s something that’s on full display at Dae Jang ment. Instead of rendering the delicious fat slowly, Keum Korean BBQ (7905 Engineer Road) in the the hard glowing coals burn it quickly. The lack of Convoy District. seasoning emphasizes the gaminess MICHAEL GARDINER of the meat at the expense of its inherent sweetness.

Joo mool luck, beef marinated in a touch of sesame oil, on the other hand was delicious, the sesame oil subtly bringing out the beef’s savory best. But there may be no better choice for the grill than the daeji galbi, pork rib meat in a slightly spicy and sweet marinade. The marinade gives the dish a layer of complexity, as opposed to the more direct and subtle messages of the non-marinated cuts.

There’s more than barbecue at DJK. The galbitang—a slow-simmered soup of short ribs, Korean radish and glass noodles—is a particular winner. The dumplings in the tteok mandu guk were downBanchan right bland, but the chicken broth was rich and deliciously spiced Contemporary Korean barbecue is grilled meat, with black pepper. DJK’s banchan were good, paroften (but not always) marinated with sweet, spicy ticularly the kimchi, eggplant and cucumbers. or salty flavors and sometimes a kiss of sesame oil.

What separates DJK from the rest of San DiAt one level, of course, there’s fire involved in all ego’s Korean pack is the act of cooking over those Korean barbecue, but in San Diego that generally real coals. It is, at the end of the day, that deep, means gas or electricity. At DJK, though, the source essential, elemental connection to meat and fire of the fire is real charcoal (and not briquettes, eithat drives the popularity of Korean barbecue here ther). Instead of just flipping a switch or turning a and elsewhere. It feels, somehow, grounding. It is, dial, an employee brings out a metal tray filled with somehow, inspirational. red-hot coals. The smell of those coals will absolutely induce a smile. It feels, somehow, more real.

The World Fare appears weekly.

While bulgogi—thinly sliced beef marinated in Write to michaelg@sdcitybeat.com.

FARE F

“

@SDCITYBEAT

DECEMBER 20, 2017 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · 13

UP FRONT | DRINK

ANATOMY OF A COCKTAIL SCENE #21: Getting nostalgic at Hundred Proof

Holy shit, if that doesn’t bring me back to my childhood, nothing does. The same can be said for the Mexican Hot Chocolate found locally at Hundred Proof (4130 Park o Ho Ho, merry fucking Christmas!

Blvd.) in North Park.

The amount of time and focus It was upon my third visit in a week, politicians have wasted on those only to enjoy this lusciously decadent contwo damn words being uttered over the coction, where I realized how susceptible I past few years is mildly outraging, to put it am to nostalgia. The feeling is IAN WARD mildly. One only has a few hair especially evident during this raising weeks where it pops time of year, and I know I’m not up in news feeds and sound alone. I was visiting Hundred bites, and it’s enough that I Proof with Adam Lockridge, often find myself nestled all the bar manager for Coin Op in snug in my bed, while visions North Park, who had referred of beating people with candy to the hot chocolate cocktail canes dance in my head. as “magical liquid chocolate This focus is a result of mousse.” He also kept talking what they perceive to be a about how it brought him back “War on Christmas.” While to childhood, as I’m certain it it is certainly rooted in Mexican hot does with most patrons who xenophobia and Islamochocolate imbibe it. phobia, there is still a very, Created by Executive Pastry very, very small part of it which can be exChef Jeremy Harville, the cocktail is served cused as simple nostalgia. with housemade churros. Spicy, rich, velNostalgia is certainly one of the most vet soft and creamy, the cocktail practically powerful tools that anyone can use while permeates with pre-adolescence. The spirit attempting to push an agenda, sell a prodused in the cocktail is Vago Elote (a mezuct or simply relate to another human becal infused with roasted corn) a personal ing. Much of the restaurant industry moves favorite of mine among all spirits. Unless in nostalgia. This fact can be found on customers were deprived of hot chocolate most great restaurant menus in the form when they were kids, this cocktail is guarof mac ‘n’ cheese, potpies and meatloaf, anteed to send all who try it down memory to name a few examples. The same logic lane. Whether they choose to say “merry applies to bar menus, which are skillfully Christmas” or “happy holidays” along the created by talented barkeeps and masterway is up to them. Cheers. ful mixologists. A great example of this can be found in the Chocolate Egg Cream Anatomy of a Cocktail Scene appears every at Eleven Madison Park in New York City. other week. Write to ianw@sdcitybeat.com

H

MEXICAN HOT CHOCOLATE as prepared at Hundred Proof

Part One 24 oz. whole milk 18 oz. heavy cream 2 tablespoons ground cinnamon ½ teaspoon cayenne 1 teaspoon ground nutmeg 1 ½ tablespoons vanilla bean paste

Part Two 8 oz. milk chocolate 3 oz. cocoa powder 1½ Nestle Abueliya chocolate tablets (about half a disc) 2 oz. malted milk powder

14 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · DECEMBER 20, 2017

BY BETH DEMMON

BY IAN WARD

Mix together part one and bring to a light simmer. Remove and pour over part two. Combine six ounces of final hot chocolate mix with one ounce of Vago Elote. Serve alongside freshly made, delicious churros.

FINAL DRAUGHT New Beer’s Eve

COURTESY OF BAGBY BEER COMPANY

N

ew Year’s Eve can be tough for someone like me. I’m obligated to stay up past 10 p.m., and I’ll definitely drink too much, so it’s not exactly an antisocial party pooper’s favorite holiday.

However, this year I’m more than ready to kiss 2017 goodbye, so I’ll likely head to one of these beer-centric events. I’ll be the geezer in the corner, clutching a pint and nodding off at 9:45 p.m.

MIHO Catering Company will be on hand at AleSmith Brewing Company (9990 AleSmith Court) for food and beer pairings during its “Hop Drop” New Year’s Eve extravaganza. Live music and dancing starts at 6 p.m., but the celebration will wind down after the East Coast ball drop.

I’m not totally sure what the “blue collar chic” dress code means, but tickets are $65 and the event is 21-and-over.

For those in South Bay, Chula Vista Brewery (294 Third Ave.) is hosting its first annual NYE party from 5 p.m. to 2 a.m. $50 gets guests dinner, a pint glass, live music and a midnight beer toast.

Again, 21-and-over.

North County residents need only look to Oceanside’s Bagby Beer Company (601 South Coast Highway) for nearby NYE festivities. Open until 1 a.m., Bagby will offer a special food and drink menu that goes beyond its house beers. (Think spiked eggnog and other holiday faves.)

Kids are welcome to this non-ticketed event, so keep that in mind.

Stone Brewing Company has long been known for throwing parties at both its Escondido and Liberty Station locations to ring in the new year. The main event will be held at Liberty Station (2816 Historic Decatur Road #116) and will feature live music, a photo booth, lawn games and even a cigar lounge for those inclined. The festivities kick off at 8:30 p.m. and tickets are $99, which includes three drink tokens. Escondido will be a

Bagby Beer Company slightly more laid-back affair. No tickets are required, but dining reservations are recommended.

North Park’s newest tasting room, Second Chance Beer Company (4045 30th St., Suite A), will host its first New Year’s Eve event with spaced-out tappings of vintage second anniversary beers. 10 p.m. will be the bourbon barrelaged scotch ale on nitro. 11 p.m. means it’s time for a Belgian-style dubbel collab with Bagby. And toast at midnight with the Belgian-style abbey ale collaboration with AleSmith’s Peter Zien. Once these small batch beers are gone, they’re gone, so be prompt.

If anyone is standing come New Year’s Day, I highly recommend delaying some half-cocked New Year’s resolution to get in shape. Instead, give in to the desires of the flesh and head to Mike Hess Brewing (3812 Grim Ave.). Carnitas Snack Shack will be on hand from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. for the fifth annual “Hair of the Hog” NYD brunch. $45 includes brunch buffet and unlimited craft beer, but designated driver/ child tickets are available for $25.

Write to bethd@sdcitybeat.com, check her out on Instagram at @thedelightedbite, or via Twitter at @delightedbite.

@SDCITYBEAT

SHORTlist

EVENTS

ART

the

THREE YOU HAVE TO SEE

COORDINATED BY

SETH COMBS

DOWNTOWN AND BALBOA PARK

SHOCK VALUE

COMEDY

Every year, it seems like there’s more sold out, so obviously there was interest there… and more options when it comes to traditional You know what you’re going to see when you go presentations of The Nutcracker. We don’t mind to The Nutcracker and there’s a certain amount of the tradition, but with so many companies vying comfort in that. I wanted none of that. I wanted this for our precious holiday dollars, it’s hard to know to be a new show every year. I wanted it to revolve which one will be worth the price of admission. And around pop-culture.”

MARILEN TRAN The performance let’s be honest, somepromises “more refertimes the kids just don’t ences than you can count have the sensibility to on two hands,” and starts appreciate ballet. with an homage to BeauThat’s why we’ve ty and the Beast. Bunch always liked A Culsays these references ture Shock Nutcracker. “drive the show,” but Not only does Culture the dancing is equally Shock San Diego dance impressive and features company’s rendition of everything from tap the classic pay tribute dancing to Krump and to both E.T. Hoffman’s popping. story and Tchaikovsky’s Audiences can catch score, but it adapts the A Culture Shock Nutcracker a free sneak peek of storyline, music and fashion to the present. The result is a high-energy the show at an outdoor preview at the Old Globe production, now in its fifth year, that includes mod- Theatre (1363 Old Globe Way) on Saturday, Dec. ern and hip-hop dance, as well as pop music and 23 at 1:30 and 3:30 p.m. The show then moves to the Spreckels Theatre (121 Broadway) for five percultural references.

“The show has changed radically over the years,” formances beginning Friday, Jan. 5 and running says Angie Bunch, Culture Shock’s founder, execu- through Sunday, Jan. 7. Tickets range from $15 to tive director and chief artistic director. “We started $45. A full list of dates and times can be found at out in the old North Park Theatre and all four shows cultureshockdance.org.

DOWNTOWN

BOWLED OVER The Holiday Bowl is coming up, but the annual game offers much more even to those who don’t care for football. In fact, we’re of the opinion that marching bands are the most underrated talent on any college football field. And on Wednesday, Dec. 27 local steppers from Michigan State and Washington State universities are going to prove it at the Carrier Johnson and Culture Marching Band Showcase. The bands and spirit squads from the schools will perform and compete in a battle of the bands at Horton Plaza Park at 6 p.m. Then on Thursday, Dec. 28 at 10 a.m., the pre-game festivities continue with the Holiday Bowl Parade, the largest balloon parade in the country.

There will be floats, drill teams and more, all of which which are viewable from the sidewalk for free. holidaybowl.com

HDowntown at Sundown at MCASD Downtown, 1001 Kettner Blvd., Downtown.

MCASD’s after-hours event offers free admission and guided tours of exhibitions at MCASD and the SDSU Downtown Gallery, as well as specials at local businesses and live music. From 5 to 8 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 21. Free. 858-454-3541, mcasd.org

RANCHO BERNARDO

WINE AND SHINE San Diego has its fair share of events with twinkly lights, but few also offer shopping options and a romantic setting while sipping on a glass of wine. That’s just what Bernardo Winery (13330 Paseo del Verano Norte) had in mind when they created Holiday Nights, the annual holiday-themed series of nights that works as a one-stop holiday event. From 4 to 9 p.m. through Saturday, Dec. 23, Southern California’s oldest winery will feature wine tastings, food trucks and live music, as well as carriage rides and carolers. The winery village will be open late for holiday shopping and local artisans will be showing off their goods near the food trucks.

Oh, and there will be those twinkly lights as well.

Check bernardowinery.com for full schedule.

@SDCITYBEAT

Holiday Nights

HHoliday Nights at Bernardo Winery, 13330 Paseo del Verano Norte, Rancho Bernardo. The winery stays open late for the annual holiday event, which offers carriage rides around the vineyard, hot mulled wine and carolers. Plus, there will be a holiday shopping village of local artisans. From 4 to 9 p.m. Through Saturday, Dec. 23.

Free. 858-487-1866, bernardowinery.com

HDoug Loves Movies at American Comedy Co., 818 B Sixth Ave., Downtown.

Doug Benson hosts a live recording of his popular podcast Doug Loves Movies. From 8 to 9:30 p.m. Tuesday, Dec. 26. $18. 619795-3858, americancomedyco.com

HSoCal Etsy Guild Holiday Market at Hilton San Diego Bayfront, 1 Park Blvd., Downtown. The outdoor event featuring Southern California artisan vendors, food, live art and more. From 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Saturday, Dec. 23. Free. socaletsyguild. com

Stand-up Comedy at Whistle Stop, 2236 Fern St., South Park. Jono Zalay will be headlining with support from Zoltan Kaszas, Keith Johnson, Jeffrey Berner, Peter Bandyk and more. From 8:30 to 10:15 p.m. Wednesday, Dec. 27. $5. 619-2846784, whistlestopbar.com

Holiday Marketplace at Luce Court and Legacy Plaza, Liberty Station, 2641 Truxtun Road, Point Loma. Enjoy live music while shopping from Liberty Station vendors and tenants. Takes place Friday through Sunday. From 4 to 10 p.m. Through Saturday, Dec. 23. $10-$50. libertystation.com

DANCE The Nutcracker at San Diego Civic Theatre, 1100 Third Ave., Downtown. California Ballet Company’s production of the holiday classic includes music conducuted by John Stubbs and a cast of over 150. At 7 p.m. Wednesday, Dec. 20 and Thursday, Dec. 21, 2:30 and 7:30 p.m. Friday, Dec. 22 and 1 and 5:30 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 23. $22-$103. californiaballet.org The Nutcracker at Mandeville Auditorium at UCSD, 9500 Gilman Drive, La Jolla. San Diego Ballet presents its interpretation of the holiday ballet, which features over 100 costumed dancers and members of the San Diego Children’s Choir. At 7:30 p.m.

Thursday, Dec. 21 and Friday, Dec. 22, and 2 and 7:30 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 23. $25-$55. sandiegoballet.org HThe Nutcracker at Spreckels Theatre, 121 Broadway, Downtown. As if two wasn’t enough, City Ballet of San Diego also has its annual production of the holiday classic that includes a full orchestra. At 7:30 p.m. Friday, Dec. 22 and Saturday, Dec. 23, 2 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 23 and 1 p.m.

Sunday, Dec. 24. $25-$75. cityballet.org HThe Nutcracker at Center for the Arts Escondido, 340 N Escondido Blvd., Escondido. Damn, another one? This one is pretty good though. The Russian Grand Ballet offers their own version of the Tchaikovsky’s ballet. At 6 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 23. $35-$85. 760-839-4138, artcenter.org

HOLIDAY EVENTS HSoCal Etsy Guild Holiday Market at Horton Plaza Park, 900 Fourth Ave., Gaslamp. A one-day, outdoor event featuring Southern California artisan vendors, food, live art and more. From 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Wednesday, Dec. 20.

Free. socaletsyguild.com HQuattrosound at Center for the Arts Escondido, 340 N Escondido Blvd., Escondido. The Latin Grammy winning band will perform holiday-themed songs on violin, cello, guitar and an array of percussion instruments. At 7:30 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 21. $25-$45. 760-839-4138, artcenter.org HSherman Heights Holiday Bazaar at Sherman Heights Community Center, 2258 Island Ave., Sherman Heights. Lastminute holiday shoppers should be able to find a unique gift at this community event featuring dozens of artisans and crafters.

From 5 to 9 p.m. Friday, Dec. 22. Free.

Holiday Bowl Parade

urday, Dec. 23. $20-$71. 619-235-0804, sandiegosymphony.org

Noel Noel at Copley Symphony Hall, 750 B St., Downtown. The San Diego Symphony performs classic holiday favorites and Christmas carol sing-alongs in this annual, family-friendly concert. At 8 p.m.

Friday, Dec. 22 and 2 and 8 p.m. Sat-

HGarden of Lights at San Diego Botanic Garden, 230 Quail Gardens Drive, Encinitas. The San Diego Botanic Garden will be a winter wonderland through Dec. 30, with snow, carolers and over 100,000 sparkling lights illuminating the Garden for a unique holiday experience. From 5 to 9 p.m. Through Saturday, Dec. 30. $5-$20.

760-436-3036, sdbgarden.org HSkating by the Sea at Hotel Del Coronado, 1500 Orange Ave., Coronado. Now in its 13th year, the outdoor ice rink on the Windsor Lawn features views of Coronado beach. Skating sessions will be offered daily and a portion of the proceeds benefit the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Price includes skate rental. From 3:30 to 10 p.m.

Through Monday, January 1. $30. 800468-3533, hoteldel.com HRady Children’s Ice Rink at Arts District Liberty Station, 2640 Historic Decatur Road, Point Loma. Skate on this outdoor, seasonal ice rink with proceeds benefiting Rady Children’s Hospital’s Peckham Center for Cancer and Blood Disorders. From 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. Through Sunday, Jan. 7. $10-$50. libertystation.com

MUSIC HFanfares and Celebrations at Copley Symphony Hall, 750 B St., Downtown. A Jacobs Masterworks Classical Special Concert with a set list that includes popular pieces by Handel, Tchaikovsky, Mozart, Strauss and more. At 7:30 p.m. Wednesday, Dec. 20. $35. 619-235-0804, sandiegosymphony.org HHoliday Bowl Marching Band Showcase at Horton Plaza Park, 900 Fourth Ave., Gaslamp. Marching bands and spirit squads from the bowl game’s participating universities will perform and meet for a battle of the bands and pep rally. At 6 p.m. Wednesday, Dec. 27.

Free. sandiegobowlgames.com

PERFORMANCE HIt’s FHcking Christmas Again! at Finest City Improv, 4250 Louisiana St., North Park.

FCI’s annual, politically incorrect holiday show features local improv masters performing a show about North Pole misfits. From 9 to 10:30 p.m. Through Saturday, Dec. 23. $15. 619-306-6047, finestcityimprov.com HA Culture Shock Nutcracker at Old Globe Theatre, 1363 Old Globe Way, Balboa Park. A sneak preview of Culture Shock’s modern reinterpretation of the Tchaikovsky classic, which is set in the present amidst a fusion of contemporary music, dance and fashion. At 1:30 and 3:30 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 23. Free. 619235-9500, cultureshockdance.org

H = CityBeat picks

DECEMBER 20, 2017· SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · 15

THEATER ’Tis the season

KEN JACQUES

through Dec. 30 at Lamb’s Players Theatre in Coronado. $29-$58; lambsplayers.org

T

he message of forsaking greed and taking care of the less fortunate couldn’t be any more resonant than in is this season of GOP tax “reform.” And yet Dickens’ A Christmas Carol is relevant every year. That said, Cygnet Theatre’s annual production of the classic tale, adapted by director Sean Murray with a tender score by Billy Thompson, is one of the joys of the yuletide.

There’s one cast change this year: Katie Sapper (replacing Maggie Carney) joins the familiar ensemble of Charles Evans Jr., Melissa Fernandes, Melinda Gilb, David McBean (memorable as both Marley’s Ghost and the Ghost of Christmas Present), Patrick McBride and Tom Stephenson (as a wonderful Scrooge). Other than this, changes from previous incarnations are subtle ones that only repeat viewers will identify. No matter. This production is one to savor with family, friends and strangers who are brought together in the glow of the holidays. (Note: the actors entertain with jokes and carols onstage pre-show.)

A Christmas Carol runs through Dec. 24 at Cygnet Theatre in Old Town. $48$61; cygnettheatre.com ••• amb’s Players Theatre’s annual Festival of Christmas marks its 40th year this holiday season with a new script,

L

—David L. Coddon

Theater reviews run weekly.

Write to davidc@sdcitybeat.com.

OPENING: Peter Pan & Tinker Bell: A Pirate’s Christmas: A family-friendly musical that uses contemporary pop songs to recount a holiday-themed Neverland adventure. Presented by Lythgoe Family Panto, it opens Dec. 21 at the Balboa Theatre in Downtown. sandiegotheatres.org Motown the Musical: The hit Broadway musical recounts the real-life rise of the iconic music label that launched the careers of Diana Ross, Marvin Gaye, Michael Jackson and more. Presented by Broadway San Diego, it opens Dec. 26 at the Civic Theatre in the Gaslamp. broadwaysd.com

Tom Stephenson (Scrooge) and David McBean in A Christmas Carol Kerry Meads’ A Fargo Christmas: North of Normal. Of course, Fargo has never been the same since the Coen Brothers’ classic film, and the town is very much (fairly or not) synonymous with cold, desolate temperatures and quirky inhabitants.

A Fargo Christmas is decidedly lighter than the Coens’ depiction and certainly more spiritual. It comes with a narrative about a church up for sale to the highest bidder. Naturally, the competing bidders are two fellowship communities and a dol-

16 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · DECEMBER 20, 2017

lar-signs-minded developer, but the story is secondary to some sublimely sung and performed music under the direction of Jon Lorenz.

Steve Gouveia and Michael C. Louis shine on guitars and vocals during “Mary Had A Baby” and Jackson Browne’s “The Rebel Jesus.” But the voices of Benjamin Roy, Katie Porter, Caitie Grady and Joy Yandell Hricko, among others, also make A Fargo Christmas a soothing seasonal treat.

Lamb’s Festival of Christmas runs

NOW PLAYING: Cabaret: A reimagining of the classic musical about an American writer swinging it up in a 1930s Berlin nightclub. Presented by ion Theatre, it runs through Dec. 23 at the BLKBOX Theatre in Hillcrest. iontheatre.com

For full listings, visit

“Theater” under Culture at sdcitybeat.com

@SDCITYBEAT

NEW YEAR’S EVE GUIDE

Last year in this space we wrote “2017 surely has to be better, right?”

Well, eh, so much for that sentiment. But hey, 2018 surely has to be better, right? Right?

At least we can get it started in grand fashion.

From blowout soirées and live concerts to fancy dinners and kid-friendly parties, we like to think our annual New Year’s Eve Guide has something for everyone. If readers want to stay home and cry in their Veuve Clicquot, that’s cool too. Just don’t send us any FOMO texts while we’re partying it up.

Contributors: TORREY BAILEY, SETH COMBS, MICHAEL GARDINER AND JEFF TERICH NEW YEAR’S GUIDE CONTINUED ON PAGE 19

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DECEMBER 20, 2017 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · 17

18 · San Diego CityBeat · december 20, 2017

@SDCityBeat

NEW YEAR’S EVE GUIDE BIG PARTIES

JEFF CORRIGAN

Contrary to what the name implies, the House of Blues’ (1055 Fifth Ave.) New Year’s Eve Block Party is actually an indoor event.

DJs of various music styles will play in all three sections of the venue, but DJ Craze headlines.

He’s best known for consecutively winning the DMC World DJ Championship three times (the only person to do so) and deejaying Kanye West’s Glow in the Dark world tour.

The event begins at 9 p.m. on Sunday, Dec. 31.

Tickets start at $30. hobblockparty.com

The Hard Rock Hotel (207 Fifth Ave.) is tailoring its annual event to selfie-culture.

At A Picture Perfect New Year’s Eve, there will be eight “glitzy, grammable” rooms.

That’s in addition to an already monstersized event that plays out over three stories, 25 bars, 15 DJs and two headliners: Los Angeles-based trap duo Slander, and another act that is yet to be announced. It happens from 8 p.m. to 2 a.m. with tickets selling for $70 to $110. hardrockhotelsd.com For the 15th year in a row, Big Night San Diego New Year’s Eve will take place at the San Diego Hilton Bayfront Hotel (1 Park Blvd.). This is an allinclusive bash with open bars, a buffet, eight dance floors and 10 party zones, including a retro zone, several club zones and a silent disco. DJs include Craig

LIVE MUSIC

New Year’s Eve Block Party Smoove, EQ, Sam Blacky and more. Big Night starts at 9 p.m. and goes until 2 a.m. Tickets run from $94.99 to $250. bignightsandiego.com VAVi Sport & Social Club’s New Year’s Eve Beach Party returns to Mission Bay’s Catamaran Resort Hotel and Spa (3999 Mission Blvd.). This event is allinclusive as well, with open bars, hors d’oeuvres and access to four ballrooms with multiple DJs. There’s also the option to buy a cruise around Mission Bay on a three-story boat, which will have a dance floor, open bars and casino games. Tickets are $124 to $179 and the event starts at 8 p.m. nyebeachparty.com

It’s never a bad idea to partake in New Year’s festivities in close proximity to a room where you can stay for the night. Safe, legally responsible debauchery is always the way to go. It’s all the better when those festivities also include a lineup of more than a dozen bands performing in a whimsical atmosphere.

The Enchanted Carnivàle at the Lafayette Hotel in North Park (2223 El Cajon Blvd.) carries on the hotel’s tradition of year-end blowouts with a lineup of music acts including Low Volts, Euphoria Brass Band, The Strawberry Moons, The Paragraphs and more, on three different stages. The show starts at 8 p.m. and tickets start at $45. lafayettehotelsd.com

COURTESY OF LITTLE HURRICANE

After seven years of rocking, Little Hurricane has become one of the biggest bands to come out of San Diego in recent years. Yet they’re spending the New Year here, getting rowdy in their own backyard with a headlining show at Music Box in Little Italy (1337 India St.). They’re being joined by a batch of Redwoods Music ringers including The Midnight Pine, Birdy Bardot and Dani Bell and the Tarantist, as well as DJ Mike Turi (Wild Wild Wets). The show is 21-andup, and starts at 8:30 p.m. Tickets start at $37. musicboxsd.com

Park (2891 University Ave.), and are joined by local badasses Rocket from the Crypt—and we all know it’s not a special occasion in San Diego without some Rocket. The show is 18-and-up, and doors open at 8 p.m. Tickets are $45. observatorysd.com

Nothing feels more appropriate for burning the past year down than a loud punk rock show, and Alkaline Trio provide just the right amount of angst and anarchy needed to close out a pretty cringeworthy year. They’re headlining at Observatory North

Little Hurricane

A big blowout can be a lot of fun, but sometimes the most memorable NYE shows are the intimate ones where audiences end up discovering a new band.

That might very well be the case with Millhaüs Volume III, a music and art show at Helmuth Projects in Bankers Hill (1827 Fifth Ave.), which features live sets by Spooky Cigarette, Los Shadows, Fashion Jackson and more. There will also be art curated by Weird Hues, and it’s open to audiences 18-and-up. But here’s the best part: The cover charge is only $5, so there’s no need to break the bank to have a good time. facebook.com/events/137700223603513

NEW YEAR’S GUIDE CONTINUED ON PAGE 20 @SDCITYBEAT

DECEMBER 20, 2017 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · 19

NEW YEAR’S EVE GUIDE DINNERS When the Hotel Del Coronado landed Patrick Ponsaty to take over the kitchen at its signature restaurant, 1500 Ocean (1500 Ocean Ave., Coronado), it immediately vaulted into the discussion of the best San Diego restaurants. As such, it’s clearly one of the best from which to welcome the New Year. 1500 Ocean will be offering two seatings: the first from 5 to 6:45 p.m. with four courses for $160 per person and the second from 8 to 10:30 p.m. with five courses for $195 per person. Both feature a variation of one of the best dishes I tasted all year: a Maine scallop with parsnip-ink mousse, salsify, purple pearl onions and truffle caviar sauce. Make reservations by calling 619-522-8490.

The only San Diego-based French Master Chef other than Ponsaty is Bernard Guillas of the Marine Room (2000 Spindrift Drive, La Jolla). Guillas will also offer two seatings: The first is three courses with time slots from 5:30 to 6:15 p.m. for $105 per person and the second is five courses, with time slots from 8:30 to 9 p.m. for $175 per person.

Both include Amish butter basted Maine lobster tail with barberry polenta, persimmons, purple Kohlrabi and damiana moscato. If readers have a choice, pick the second seating which also includes black truffle Kobe beef daube with Tetsukabuto squash, baby fennel and red walnut gremolata. Make reservations by calling 858-459-7222 or by visiting marineroom.com.

Marine Room Gallic luxury is great, but Bleu Bohème (4090 Adams Ave, Kensington) offers a more economical version of a French New Year’s Eve celebration dinner with a three-course prix fixe menu for $69 per person along with a $12 specialty cocktail: a Clean Slate Martini featuring Kahlúa, Armagnac, Frangelico, cream and Aztec chocolate bitters. The highlight

20 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · DECEMBER 20, 2017

Bleu Bohème entrée of the menu, for my money, would be the duck leg confit with wild rice, Spanish chorizo, braised red cabbage and a green peppercorn sauce. That said, a $5 upcharge for rack of lamb roasted with ratatouille, creamy goat cheese polenta and merlot sauce seems well worth it. For reservations call 619-255-4167 or visit bleuboheme.com.

Banker’s Hill Bar + Restaurant (2202 Fourth Ave.) may not be French but it’s offering perhaps the best deal three-course New Year’s Eve menu: $59 per person with beverage pairings for an additional $30.

One of the most exciting main course offerings of the menu is the vegetarian option: artichoke ravioli with Italian kale, whole milk ricotta, red pepper vinaigrette and basil oil. But I’d probably go with duck confit pappardelle with king trumpet mushrooms, baby kale and a poached egg. Banker’s Hill will be open for New Year’s Eve from 4:30 to 9:30 p.m.—giving customers a good chance to make it home before the new year—with reservations available by calling 619-231-0222 or at bankershillsd.com.

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NEW YEAR’S EVE GUIDE OTHER COOL EVENTS The Pearl Hotel (1410 Rosecrans St., Point Loma) is already one of the more chic places to stay in San Diego and the retro motel design is perfect for the themed Vintage New Year’s Eve event. Guests are encouraged to dress to impress for the party, which includes a threecourse prix fixe dinner (two seatings starting at 5 p.m.) that includes Foie Gras torchon and diver scallops. The dinner is followed by a poolside after-party with DJ Jon Wesley spinning and the Dive-In movie screen broadcasting the ball drop in Times Square. Dinner reservations range from $59.95 to $69.95 and can be made be calling 619226-6100 or emailing rsvp@thepearlsd.com.

Some parents look to New Year’s Eve as an especially good night to get away from the kids, but for those who’d like to include the young ones in their night, there are a few particularly enticing options. First, there’s the Pajama Jam at the New Children’s Museum (200 W. Island Ave.) in downtown. Technically, this isn’t a New Year’s Eve event since it takes place on Dec. 30 from 5:30 to 8:30 p.m. However, it does include NYE-themed art activities, a dance party, photo booths and a catered dinner. Plus parents can still go out the next night. Tickets range from $15 to $35 at thinkplaycreate.org. For adults who do Pajama Jam want to party with the kids, the Living Coast Discovery Center (1000 Gunpowder Point Drive) in Chula Vista is holding its annual New Year’s Eve Family Party on Dec. 31 from 7 to 9 p.m.

There will be cool wildlife animal encounters, cookie decorating, photobooths and two bars (one for drinks, the other for hot chocolate).

Tickets range from $20 to $25 at thelivingcoast.org.

A yacht is always one of the more romantic options for New Year’s Eve, and Hornblower Cruises (1800 N. Harbor Drive) in downtown has a few options to choose from. There’s a brunch cruise from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. ($75.95), a sunset buffet dinner cruise from 3 to 6 p.m. ($109) and, the main event, the Gatsby New Year’s Eve Cruise. The latter is a four-hour cruise around San Diego Bay that includes themed cocktails and music from The Gatsby Gang Jazz Quartet. A $229 ticket might seem steep, but keep in mind that includes unlimited champagne, a reserved table, a four-course dinner and one of the more romantic settings for the requisite midnight kiss. Boarding begins at 8 p.m., and tickets are available at hornblower.com.

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EVEN MORE COOL EVENTS

Waypoint Public NYE Beer-Paired Dinner at Waypoint Public, 3794 30th St., North Park. The restaurant teams up with Pure Project Brewing for a four-course beer and food pairing. There will be live music and a special NYE menu. Email for reservations. From 5 to 7 p.m. and 7:30 to 9 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 31. 619-255-8778, facebook.com/events/171167366815317 West Coast Tavern New Year’s Eve 2018 at West Coast Tavern, 2895 University Ave., North Park. Drink cocktails and get down to DJ CWiTCH all night. There are also VIP bottle service options that include a champagne toast and party favors. Tickets available at the door. From 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. Sunday, Dec. 31. $10 and up. 619295-1688, westcoasttavern.com Tamarindo NYE Pre-Party at Tamarindo North Park, 2906 University Ave., North Park. Start the night early at this pre-party where there will be food and drink specials, or stay until midnight for free champagne. From 3 to 9 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 31.

619-955-8770, tamarindonp.com

Shakespeare Pub New Years Eve Celebration at Shakespeare Pub, 3701 India St., Mission Hills. Celebrate New Year’s Eve on British time. Begin partying in the morning and join the countdown happening across the pond at 4 p.m., which is when the clock strikes midnight in the United Kingdom. From 10:30 a.m. to 7:30 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 31. Free. 619-2990230, shakespearepub.com The Creepy Creeps at Soda Bar, 3615 El Cajon Blvd., Normal Heights. This garage-surf punk band will headline the night with their funky antics, which include costumes, a dancing coffin keyboard and more. There will also be a live performance by the punk group Cruz Radical.

From 8:30 p.m. to 2 a.m. Sunday, Dec. 31. $20. 619-255-7224, sodabarmusic.com Starlite NYE Dinner Party at Starlite, 3175 India St., Mission Hills. The restaurant-bar combo offers a three-course prix fixe dinner with entry to an after party that features DJs and drinks. Afterparty admission is also available with the option to buy drink tokens. From 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. Sunday, Dec. 31. $55-$60. 619-358-9766, starlitesandiego.com New Years Eve Black Party at Brick Bar, 1475 University Ave., Hillcrest. Guests are encouraged to wear black and gold at this celebration, which includes party favors, free champagne at midnight and complimentary appetizers throughout the night.

From 7 p.m. to 2 a.m. Sunday, Dec. 31.

Free. 619-291-8221, brickbarhillcrest.com

New Year’s Eve in Spain at Cafe Sevilla Restaurant and Tapas Bar, 353 Fifth Ave., Gaslamp. There will be a four-course prix fixe menu, Flamenco dinner show performances, DJs, dancing and free party favors. From 6 p.m. to 2 a.m. Sunday, Dec. 31. $69.50. 619-233-5979, cafesevilla.com Florent NYE 2018 at Florent, 672 Fifth Ave., Gaslamp. There will be music by electronic and open format DJs Kid Funk and Taylor Michael, plus a free champagne toast at midnight. Dinner packages are available and include entry to the afterparty. Tickets available at the door. From 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. Sunday, Dec. 31. $20 and up. 619-595-0123, florentsd.com Great Gatsby New Years Eve at Garage Kitchen + Bar, 655 4th Ave., Gaslamp. This themed celebration features music by DJ Pretty Slick. The four-course prix fixe dinner option includes a champagne toast, souvenir glass and party favors. From 6 p.m. to 2 a.m. Sunday, Dec. 31. Free-$45. 619-2316700, garagekitchenbar.com The Schizophonics at Riviera Supper Club and Turquoise Room, 7777 University Ave., La Mesa. The local rock ‘n’ roll band, who channels influences such as The Jimi Hendrix Experience, James Brown and more, will ring in the New Year.

Plus performances by Mittens and The Hiroshima Mockingbirds. At 8 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 31. Free. 619-713-6777, facebook. com/events/129985717640459 New Years Eve Salsa and Bachata Party at Queen Bee’s Art & Cultural Center, 3925 Ohio St., North Park. Jazz 88.3 FM’s DJ Chris hosts the night, which includes music by Cuban salsa band Sexteto Sonero Del Caribe and resident DJs Mambo and Ukeim. Cover includes champagne toast and appetizer buffet. From 7:30 p.m. to 2 a.m. Sunday, Dec. 31. $35-$50. 619-2555147, queenbeessd.com The Donkeys at The Casbah, 2501 Kettner Blvd., Middletown. This San Diego-based, four-piece indie band is a local favorite.

Dollie Barnes and Madly will perform as the night’s supporting acts. At 8:30 p.m.

Sunday, Dec. 31. 619-232-4355, casbahmusic.com Fast Heart Mart at Nates Garden Grill, 3120 Euclid Ave., City Heights. A familyfriendly New Year’s Eve celebration features music by this up-tempo banjo player, whose style ranges from country and

bluegrass to punk rock. Plus food and drinks. From 6 to 10 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 31. Free. 619-546-7700, facebook.com/ events/2195079383851543 Big Night La Jolla New Year’s Eve Gala at Hilton La Jolla Torrey Pines, 10950 N Torrey Pines Road, La Jolla. This Great Gatsby-themed event is all-inclusive, featuring an open bar, food, a champagne toast and entertainment in both the grand ballroom and foyer. VIP options available.

From 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. Sunday, Dec. 31. $50-$285. bignightlajolla.com NYE Purple Rain Party at The Smoking Gun, 555 Market St., Gaslamp. Purple attire is encouraged at this Prince and The Revolution-themed dance party. Admission includes a champagne toast and a voucher for Spill the Beans Coffee and Bagels to help the hangover. From 6 p.m. to 2 a.m. Sunday, Dec. 31. $40. 619-233-3836, facebook.com/events/161277081147442 Welcome to the Jungle at El Dorado, 1030 Broadway, Downtown. This themed party combines a formal dance and jungle safari into one. Guests are encouraged to wear cocktail attire with a bit of wild flair, whether it be lion face paint or a leopard print suit. There will be music by Adam Salter, Kid Wonder and Brian Rose. From 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. Sunday, Dec. 31. 619-237-0550, facebook.com/events/509771636073277 Black and Gold New Year’s Eve Party at Berkeley Steam Ferry Maritime Museum of San Diego, 1492 N Harbor Drive, Downtown.

The historic steam ferry will be decorated as a classy lounge with music from the 60s, 70s and 80s. Plus a 30s-style candy and dessert bar, photo booth, party favors, complimentary champagne and more. From 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. Sunday, Dec. 31. $50-$60. 619-2349153, sdmaritime.org Old Town Get Down at 5355 Grant St., Old Town. There will be two rooms of house music featuring DJs from Sundown, Dance Klassique, Music is 4 Lovers and other local collectives. Plus a special guest from Los Angeles that’s yet to be released.

At 9 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 31. $20-$30. venno.com/event/oldtowngetdown2018 New Year’s Eve Island Ball at Four Points Sheraton, 8110 Aero Drive, Kearny Mesa.

A dinner and afterparty inspired by Tahitian culture. There will be cocktails, photo ops, six local DJs, a dessert bar and more.

From 5:30 p.m. to 1:30 a.m. Sunday, Dec. 31. $40-$150. 858-863-7008, eventbrite. com/e/new-years-eve-island-ball-tickets-38789875562

DECEMBER 20, 2017 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · 21

CULTURE | VOICES

RACHEL MICHELLE FERNANDES

THANK YOU FOR

STARING

Art-topia, Part 2: New Orleans art flu

G

ood art is a contagion. It grabs hold not all biennials do is that we make sure that of the senses, latches on to the mind- as many artists as possible come here for a body-spirit and travels along neural site visit before they even present their propathways and into the bones. Good art is in- posal, so that they get to know the city and fectious, but unlike a disease, it heals. Good art can explore,” says Rouse. “Often they come to is the physical embodiment of human emo- us and say ‘I want to do this and do this here’ tion and evidence of our ability to creatively because they’ve connected. Sometimes it’s work through psychic trauma, ours and that of the connection that they make that makes past generations. It is a transmutation of de- the space happen. And that’s beautiful.”

Why write so extensively about an art sires, frustrations, heartbreaks and resilience.

I’ve recently come back from a short visit festival in New Orleans in a local San Diego paper? First of all, the show to the mighty and resilient goes through the end of FebNew Orleans, and I’ve been ruary and it’s well worth a visinfected with good art. Just It seems to me it. Also, I feel San Diego could as importantly, I’ve caught that San Diego learn a lot from New Orleans. an incurable case of optimism is ripe for a Ours too is a city of ghosts— brought on by the fourth iteration of the city-wide art tricross-pollinating of stolen land and abuses of power and one that has a deennial called “Prospect.4: The celebration of pendent, if not complex, relaLotus in Spite of the Swamp.”

Originally created as a the arts, and I’m tionship with tourism.

Prospect.4 really got me method for stimulating the ready to spread thinking about the concept of local economy after Hurricane this New Orleans creative place-making—the Katrina, Prospect is a unification of both “high” and “low” art flu all over the idea of organic, grassroots implementation of developing art from international as well damned place. public spaces, as well as how as local creators. It’s a collaba city-wide art festival could oration between a vast array help us come together as an of organizations, institutions and venues all over the city, and a celebration arts community and as a city at large.

Despite disadvantages such as rising of art as a great healer and unifier.

For Prospect.4, the venues range from rents and expensive land prices, there’s a the back of a small antique store on Royal sense of resilience to the arts in San Diego.

Street to the Jazz Museum in the old U.S. Organizations that I’ve lovingly covered Mint. The artists include famous folks such in this column (A SHIP IN THE WOODS, as Yoko Ono and Kara Walker, emerging art- Bread and Salt, Hill Street Country Club and ists such as San Diego’s own Andrea Chung, Space 4 Art, for example) are doing amazing and unsung local heroes like Daryl Montana, work on the regular. There are also emerging groups such as NAH NAH (some of the the head of a Mardi Gras Indian tribe.

“Prospect was conceived as a response former curatorial staff of the San Diego Art to Katrina, as so many biennials have been Institute), Space Time, Teros Gallery and conceived as a response to crisis,” reflects Little Dame.

Then there’s all the incredible work hapProspect Interim Director Ylva Rouse, who has been with the project since the begin- pening in Tijuana, as well as the colleges and ning in 2007. “The idea was to really show universities. It seems to me that San Diego the city—not only to people coming from is ripe for a cross-pollinating celebration of outside, but also to people in New Orleans— the arts, and I’m ready to spread this New the types of places that often weren’t on Orleans art flu all over the damned place. their radar. I still have people who say ‘Oh! I’ll also be heading back to NOLA before the Prospect.1 or Prospect.2 was so wonderful end of February to infect myself further. because it made me go to the 7th ward where I asked Rouse if she had any suggestions I’ve never been, or the Bywater.’ Nowadays for us, and I cherish her response: everyone goes to the Bywater, but back then “In the case of New Orleans there has it wasn’t even on the tourist’s map!” been an incredible development in the I was only in New Orleans for two full awareness of what’s usually called the culdays and only able to visit five out of the 17 tural economy. Numbers speak to politivenues, but the experience was striking. The cians. And you can draw from statistics and sheer volume of women and people of color knowledge from other cities that speak for represented—weaving stories of exploita- themselves. When you’re starting an advention and slavery with cries of triumph of the ture such as this, it’s about getting people human spirit—was as inspiring as the spirit excited about the numbers in many ways. of New Orleans itself.

There’s excitement over these events that “One of the things that Prospect does that truly transforms the cultural scene.”

22 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · DECEMBER 20, 2017

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CULTURE | FILM

Summer time

Call Me By Your Name

Luca Guadagnino’s serene gay romance is a stunner

by Glenn Heath Jr.

P

hotographs of ancient masks and statues leads to an inevitable adrenaline hangover. Guaflash across the screen during Call Me By Your dagnino’s quietly beautiful imagery remains rooted in Name’s swift opening salvo, intermittently over- the solitude of rural vacationing, leaving characters whelmed by retro cursive credits. Literal artifacts are plenty of time to ponder and yearn. In Oliver’s case, presented in the form of memory, notarized with the this happens largely off-screen, while Elio’s doubts personal touch of a journal entry. How experiences are are front and center.

Call Me By Your Name (opening Friday, Dec. 22), remembered and processed are of great importance to this beguiling romance, especially when it comes to doesn’t overdramatize the inevitable conclusion of Oliver and Elio’s fling, remaining gracefully ambiguthe cultivation of identity by way of history.

Set in Northern Italy during the summer of 1983, ous and open to the idea that people can be happily the film embeds itself in the clammy villa property of present even during melancholic moments that are Professor Perlman (Michael Stuhlbarg), his wife An- leading toward separation. Both lead actors embrace nella (Amira Casar) and their 17-year-old son Elio this duality, sculpting performances of great nuance (Timothée Chalamet). Each year they host an Ameri- in permanent lockstep with one another. As a capper, Stuhlbarg’s academic father procan graduate student for six vides his son with a monologue weeks for research assistance. for the ages—one that encapsuWhen Oliver (Armie Hammer) CALL ME BY lates acceptance, regret and wisarrives, it’s immediately clear he dom not in the form of a lecture, doesn’t fit the mold of the usual YOUR NAME but a confession. usurper Elio expects.

Directed by Luca Guadagnino Looking deep into the camera Forced into close proximity Starring Timothée Chalamet, as closing credits roll, Elio himas flat mates, the two characArmie Hammer, Anella Amira self confides a range of emotions ters are initially awkward toand Michael Stuhlbarg without uttering a word. Tears ward one another, as Oliver’s roll down his face, but never fleeting charm could easily be Rated R once does his expression flinch confused for arrogance. Elio away from the pain. In this ininitially chooses the role of obstance, Chalamet’s performance server, studying curiously a man he doesn’t fully understand. But as time passes, their ascends into the pantheon of greats, a mixture of relationship grows more complicated by an unspoken Marlon Brando’s brimming panic and Heath Ledger’s attraction. Small magnetic moments of conflict and simmering vulnerability.

As if to temper the inherent sadness of finality, desire add up.

Director Luca Guadagnino juxtaposes Elio and Oli- Guadagnino riffs on high art for pleasure. Whether ver’s burgeoning connection with sun-kissed visuals it’s Elio transcribing and revising Bach compositions and a lethargic view of time. The camera patiently in order to flirt with Oliver, or the tender moment tans alongside them, watching as trust flourishes into both men help excavate a submerged ancient statue something more. Hammer and Chalamet carry this from the depths of a lake, these scenes function like a arc without the comfort of expanded dialogue, subtly dress rehearsal for their shared intimacy to come. Call revealing their characters’ feelings over the course of Me By Your Name treats each moment as small pieces multiple weeks, mostly through glances and expres- of young and restless lives consistently wrestling with sions. Eventually, a pivotal sequence unfolds in front the question, to quote Marguerite of Navarre’s The of a WWI memorial in town, allowing both characters Heptaméron, “is it better to speak or to die?” It will probably take a few more heartbreaks before either to express themselves more freely for the first time.

James Ivory’s leisurely-paced script, an adaptation man can answer truthfully. of André Aciman’s novel, beautifully entangles Elio’s emotional awakening with shorter, more immediate Film reviews run weekly. scenes. Secret rendezvous feel drunkenly hazy, which Write to glennh@sdcitybeat.com

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DECEMBER 20, 2017 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · 23

CULTURE | FILM there’s Paul, whose flat moralizing and mopey demeanor makes audiences pine for the typical Payne curmudgeon.

—Glenn Heath Jr.

OPENING All the Money in the World: The story of John Paul Getty III’s kidnapping, and the desperate attempt by his mother (Michelle Williams) to persuade their billionaire grandfather (Christopher Plummer) to pay the ransom.

Downsizing

Call Me By Your Name: A beautifully rendered gay romance from director Luca Guadagnino about a teenager (Timothée Chalamet) who falls for a visiting grad student (Armie Hammer) while on summer sabbatical in Northern Italy.

opulated with scoundrels, grumps and cheaters, Alexander Payne’s formidable canon has never been easy on self-serving men. Paul Giamatti’s insecure wine snob finds redemption only by making peace with failure in Sideways. Matthew Broderick’s corrupt high school principal dies a slow professional death in Election. What connects them—and similarly perplexed characters played by George Clooney (The Descendants), Jack Nicholson (About Schmidt) and Bruce Dern (Nebraska)—is a growing sense of masculine panic.

There’s nothing particularly anxious about Paul Safranek (Matt Damon), the kind-hearted but clueless occupational therapist at the heart of Payne’s new satire Downsizing. If anything, the middle-aged Nebraskan has accepted life’s intrinsic economic and emotional limitations. Better to appreciate what you have than worry about what you don’t.

Meanwhile, overpopulation and global warming have ravaged the world at large. Scrambling for a solution, Norwegian scientists develop an experimental shrinking process that allows humans to create infinitesimal communities around the world, thus lowering their global footprint. There’s also a massive economic benefit to becoming small, and after much one-sided discussion, Paul’s unhappy wife, Audrey (Kristin Wiig) convinces him they need to take the plunge.

Promises of wealth and happiness prove to be equally as futile when life occurs at a fraction of the size. From this disappointment, Payne’s gimmicky set-up evolves into a socially aware character study where delusions of self-worth butt up against capitalist greed and class division. Paul’s inevitable awakening comes during time spent with exiled Vietnamese activist Ngoc Lan Tran (Hong Chau), whose suffering and persistence inspires his seismic ideological shift.

Downsizing (opening Dec. 22) is both ambitious and fundamentally problematic. Caricature of minority characters and low emotional stakes keep it from being a powerful apocalyptic allegory. And then

Downsizing: Matt Damon shrinks himself to get wealthy in Alexander Payne’s ambitious social satire set in a world where overpopulation threatens the environment.

Small troubles

P

24 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · DECEMBER 20, 2017

Father Figures: Comedy is relative in this story of fraternal twin brothers (Owen Wilson and Ed Helms) who set out on the road to discover the truth about their absent father.

Hostiles: Christian Bale grimaces and scowls as an Army captain forced to escort a Cheyenne chief and his family back to their homeland of Montana in 1892. Directed by Scott Cooper (Out of the Furnace).

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle: Since Hollywood has officially run out of ideas, the beloved board game has been turned into an action film starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Kevin Hart and Jack Black. Opens Wednesday, Dec. 20.

Loving Vincent: Mystery surrounds the death of famed painter Vincent van Gogh in 1890 France in the first fully painted feature film. Opens Friday, Dec. 22, at Digital Gym Cinema in North Park.

Molly’s Game: Writer/director Aaron Sorkin casts Jessica Chastain as Molly Bloom, the real-life Olympic skier who went on to run the world’s most exclusive, high-end poker game.

Pitch Perfect 3: In what will hopefully (please merciful Jesus) be the last in the popular musical franchise, Anna Kendrick leads her band of acapella misfits on a USO tour where they compete with a group who (gasp!) plays instruments.

Shadowman: In the 1980s, Richard Hambleton was a specter in the night that painted hundreds of startling silhouettes on the walls of lower Manhattan and, along with Keith Haring and JeanMichel Basquiat, sparked the street art movement. Opens Friday, Dec. 22, at Digital Gym Cinema in North Park.

The Greatest Showman: This original musical is inspired by the life and career of P.T. Barnum (played by Hugh Jackman), whose visionary circus act marked the birth of modern show business. Opens Wednesday, Dec. 20.

The Florida Project: The story of a precocious six year-old and her ragtag group of friends whose summer break is filled with childhood wonder and adventure while the adults around them struggle with hard times. Opens Friday, Dec. 22, at Digital Gym Cinema in North Park.

For complete movie listings, visit Film at sdcitybeat.com.

@SDCITYBEAT

PAUL KOUDOUNARIS

MUSIC

Mac Sabbath ew things bring me as much joy as hearing a good cover song. Some of the most transcendent moments in popular music have been the result of one artist offering a new interpretation of another artist’s song. Whether it’s The Slits’ post-punk scratch of Marvin Gaye’s “I Heard It Through the Grapevine” or Jeff Buckley’s emotive, if not overplayed, take on Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah,” a great cover is hard to beat. And when a band slips a surprise cover into a live set, it’s hard not to feel some kind of giddy excitement.

That said, I think it’s time to put this on the record: San Diego, this cover band situation has gotten out of control.

As long as I’ve been going to shows in San Diego, there have been bands playing full-length cover sets. Until recently, it never bothered me. In fact, I’ve genuinely loved a lot of them, including Rookie Card covering the entirety of Wilco’s A.M. and every Halloween set by Wild Wild Wets, particularly when they played the music of The Zombies as zombies. Those situations only happened once and felt special.

@SDCITYBEAT

These days, however, live tributes are more ubiquitous than ever, and if you missed the latest celebration of the music of Nirvana or Jimmy Eat World or whatever, don’t worry—there’s almost certainly going to be another one. (On Jan. 6, there are no fewer than five fairly big cover shows happening.)

It’s not exclusive to our city, but San Diego has reached peak cover band. On almost any given night in any given venue, someone is paying tribute to someone else. It’s essentially a three-pronged attack: 1. Local cover bands; 2. Touring cover bands; and 3.

One-night, multi-artist live tributes. There’s nothing wrong with any of them in isolation.

In fact, a lot of local acts have been doing the cover band act for so long that I admire the commitment (Ziggy Shuffledust, for instance). The same goes for The Casbah’s “Exile on Kettner Blvd.,” a Rolling Stones cover concert every Christmas Eve. The problem is that it feels at times like carbon copies are starting to outnumber bands who play their own music. I’m not sure why we need multiple tributes to Foo Fighters, No Doubt or The Red Hot Chili Peppers (or, shudder, Gods-

mack?), but you can’t swing a chain wallet here without (god)smacking the ‘90s.

Touring cover bands don’t help. Again, some bands like The Iron Maidens have been at it for a long time, but as career tribute bands have grown in stature, the more absurd they’ve become. We apparently can’t get enough of the band DSB (which stands for “Don’t Stop Believin’,” of course), who dub themselves “the next best thing to Journey.” It boggles the mind that Journey cosplay is even a sustainable career, since Journey actually still tours. (They did play the Republican National Convention, however, so perhaps this is a way to avoid that political disgust.) Far more entertaining are bands like Mac Sabbath, who cover Black Sabbath in fucked-up McDonald’s character costumes. When I saw their first show in San Diego a couple years back, I even laughed out loud to the oversized Mayor McCheese head their guitar player wore. But after a couple songs, even that novelty wore off quickly.

I like the idea of one-night tributes; they’re less likely to wear out their welcome and offer up an opportunity to try some-

thing that an artist might not ordinarily do.

A few years back, North Park venue The Office launched its “Under Cover” series, which has been a cool way to bring together local musicians to do something collaborative.

Since then, however, a number of other bars around town have begun doing similar nights with diminishing returns. And it seems we’re running out of bands to cover. Recent nights have featured tributes to Arctic Monkeys, The Killers and Interpol—bands that fans can actually still go see. I might not choose to go see a Doors tribute, for instance, but at least it makes sense to me.

Nobody has to go see any of these otherwise harmless shows, but it’s the supplyand-demand situation that worries me.

With a greater concentration of audiences going to tribute shows, it simply begets more tribute shows. Consequently, there seems to be less interest in fostering a music scene that values originality. Too often I’ve seen Facebook RSVPs for cover shows outnumber those of local bands playing their own music. People often point to the ‘90s being San Diego’s best musical era, and as much as I hate to perpetuate the quarterback-reliving-his-high-school-glory-days cliché, that creative spark won’t ever reignite if our solution is to flood the market with feel-good nostalgia.

I’ve even played some covers. Earlier this year I participated in a Nick Cave tribute night and my band’s first gig was actually covering The Cure. But even before we had a chance to play a show of our own songs, someone asked if we’d play the Cure set again. And that gave me pause. I doubt that’s the only time that’s ever happened, and if bands are being asked to become Carnival cruise entertainment before they get a chance to establish themselves, then our music scene is in trouble.

San Diego audiences can be notoriously fair-weather, so I’d hate to see people strictly binge on empty calories. This is a city with a lot of talent, where a lot of really great bands are making great music. So by all means, catch that Bowie tribute or, if it’s absolutely necessary, hear “Don’t Stop Believin’” one more time. But dig a little deeper.

There should be more to music in San Diego than a bunch of songs everybody already knows.

Write to jefft@sdcitybeat.com and follow him on Twitter at @1000TimesJeff.

DECEMBER 20, 2017 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · 25

AFTER HOURS: ABOUT LAST NIGHT

MUSIC

NOTES FROM THE SMOKING PATIO LOCALS ONLY

J

akob McWhinney has clocked a lot of stage time playing in bands such as Spooky Cigarette, Space Heat, The Soaks, Trips and Kooties. On New Year’s Eve, however, he’s launching a brand new project called New Me. It’s the first project of McWhinney’s since Space Heat that focuses on his own songwriting, and New Me’s first live show will take place at Helmuth Projects at Millhaus 3 on Dec. 31. After playing in so many bands for the past few years, McWhinney said he was itching to get back to his own songwriting.

“I’ve been playing music with a bunch of bands, playing more of a supporting role,” he says. “I had this cache of songs that had been growing, and it felt like high time to get something out there.”

New Me has a handful of demo teasers up on Facebook (facebook.com/sluttwo), though no official re-

cordings have been released yet. However, the songs heavily feature synthesizers, and the direction of the band represents a bit of an experiment for McWhinney.

“I’ve always written kind of left-of-pop songs,” he says. “But with these songs, I decided, ‘fuck it—let’s do pop!’ It’s the first time I’ve written songs that didn’t feel rooted in self-criticism.”

McWhinney took a while beGABE HUSAIN fore settling on New Me as a name, and the Facebook address for the page reveals one of the working titles for the project (Slut Two). But New Me became a sort of epiphany for him, because of what it symbolically represented.

“Coming up with band names is the single worst part of playJakob McWhinney ing music,” he says. “I had a list of about 50 names, and this one, when it popped into my head, just seemed right. It’s kind of a restart—a new opportunity.”

—Jeff Terich

IN EARS WE TRUST my favorite musicians, like Kim Gordon and Marissa Nadler. The sound on the new album ranges from dark, Leonard Cohen-inspired folk, to smart, dance-y synth pop. The show was really special, too. They were so Jordan Krimston, Miss New Buddha: Rocket by kind and sincere, and gave everyone in the audience a hug at the end of the show.”

(Sandy) Alex G. “It is a blatantly honest, TONJE THILESEN Tony Gidlund, Shades McCool: The yet unconventional album. It feels cozy Dusk In Us by Converge. “The long-awaitand cohesive despite its unwillingness to ed new one from the elder statesmen of stick to any particular sonic palette. This extreme music has the bite of the old album covers a vast amount of ground stuff while introducing actual vocal hareffortlessly, and makes for an engaging monies. 27 years in and this band is still listen.” scarily good.”

John Joyce, AJ Froman: Material ConIan Cairncross: Romaplasm by trol by Glassjaw. “Heavy, cryptic and un(Sandy) Alex G Baths. “Baths is an electronic artist controllable. Exceptional rhythm guitar from L.A. I’ve been fascinated with for work and ambient undertones. Definitely a more advanced Glassjaw with darker lyrical themes and the past few years. He weaves a variety of instruments heavy breakdowns. The drums are mixed beautifully sur- and his voice into songs that are complex yet memorable. I haven’t had a lot of time with Romaplasm, but rounding you and consuming you at the same time.”

Carrie Gillespie Feller, Hexa: The Book of Law by it matches the quality of his previous albums Obsidian Lawrence Rothman. “Hexa was lucky enough to open and Cerulean. If someone tells you a laptop or sampler for Lawrence Rothman earlier this year. I didn’t know isn’t an instrument, Baths may change their mind.” who they were at the time, so I started checking it out and found these amazing collaborations with some of

—Jeff Terich

A recurring feature in which we ask local musicians, promoters and others about the music they’ve been digging lately.

This week we’re asking about their favorite music of 2017.

26 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · DECEMBER 20, 2017

Destination unknown

L

isticles of the “best” this and the “worst” that may be clickbait to provide closure at year’s end, but these types of rankings still hold some weight. When it comes to national ratings for nightlife destinations, San Diego hovers just above mediocre.

In a study by personal finance website WalletHub, San Diego ranked 17th in the number of nightlife options per capita this year.

San Diego didn’t appear on either Thump’s or U.S. News’ 2017 top 10 best bar/club scenes list. While these lists are more subjective than scientific, they do take into account elements such as the number of venues, last call times, public transportation and other factors of a successful night out.

In the midst of its 150th anniversary, the Gaslamp Quarter has certainly changed over the years, but it has yet to become a serious contender when it comes to nightlife destinations. Michael Trimble, executive director of the Gaslamp Quarter Association, says that isn’t San Diego’s goal though.

SHUTTERSTOCK “People do like to come to San Diego, and I don’t think we want to compete with L.A. or New York because we have our own story to tell and our own identity,” he says, referring to the fact that visitors more often come here to relax.

Gaslamp Quarter But in order to elevate the Gaslamp’s national nightlife status, Trimble says that attracting more high-end, multi-purpose hotels such as the Pendry is strategic.

“The Pendry is a huge plus to the downtown area as a fivestar hotel with multiple venues within their property that attract travelers to come and stay at the Pendry, party at Oxford, eat at Lionfish and enjoy Nathan’s Bar.” Trimble also says the association will be focusing on popularizing the neighborhood during weekdays and weekend mornings in the upcoming year. This approach is opposite that of international party cities, such as Amsterdam, Paris and (just this year) New York, who have been granting venues 24-hour licenses and hiring nightlife ambassadors to work with mayors on enhancing the scene. In San Diego, this nightlife advocacy falls on the shoulders of business improvement districts.

“It could be a great asset to have someone focusing directly on that, whether [the city] decides to do that in the future is really kind of up in the air,” he says.

Councilmember Chris Ward, whose district encompasses downtown, was on the fence regarding the creation of such a position.

“While adding a city staff member specifically for this purpose seems premature given the number of business and community groups already working on a variety of projects in downtown, I certainly welcome more attention and conversation about better utilizing downtown day and night.”

@SDCITYBEAT

MUSIC

JEFF TERICH

IF I WERE U A music insider’s weekly agenda WEDNESDAY, DEC. 20

PLAN A: Ziggy Shuffledust and The Spiders from Mars, Electric Warrior @ The Casbah. My feature this week is about how San Diego’s gone overboard with cover bands. So I’m contradicting myself a little when I suggest checking out one of the longest-running Bowie cover bands in town, but then again, one can never have too much Bowie. PLAN B: Adam Everett, Coral Bells @ Soda Bar. I’m not a man of faith so I don’t normally endorse gospel shows, but I admire the form. Adam Everett plays soulful, bluesy gospel with a little bit of Southern rock grit, and it actually sounds pretty cool.

THURSDAY, DEC. 21

PLAN A: Retox, Graf Orlock, Skrapez, Planet B @ SPACE. Get in the pit for the holiday season! Christmas can bring about a lot of stress, so what better way to get it out of your system than a cathartic hardcore show with some truly ass-kicking sounds.

PLAN B: Fishbone, Band of Gringos, Tunnel Vision @ Belly Up Tavern. One of two “Bone”-artist options for the evening, Fishbone have been playing their unique style of funk rock for more almost 40 years.

They’ve also recorded a handful of Christmas songs, so expect some even more festive funk. BACKUP PLAN: Bone Thugs-NHarmony, WC @ House of Blues. I miss my uncle Charles, y’all.

FRIDAY, DEC. 22

PLAN A: X, Meat Puppets, Mike Watt @ Observatory North Park. It’s an evening of punk legends! X tend to make a couple trips a year to San Diego, and this time they’re joined by fellow old-schoolers Meat Puppets and Mike Watt, the latter formerly of The Minutemen and a million other projects.

PLAN B: L.A. Witch, Prettiest Eyes, The Mad Walls @ The Casbah. L.A. Witch play

surfy, psychedelic punk with lots of gloomy, gothic vibes. They essentially sound like what one might imagine a band called L.A. Witch would sound like, and it’s easy to love.

SATURDAY, DEC. 23

PLAN A: El Vez Merry Mexmas, Los Sweepers, Pony Death Ride @ The Casbah. The holidays are all about traditions, and few local music traditions are as celebrated as the annual El Vez Christmas extravaganza. Be prepared for some mirth, merriment and rock ‘n’ roll. PLAN B: The Gloomies, Hideout, John the Baptist, Stephanie Brown and the Surrealistics @ Soda Bar. Or, alternately, check out some younger indie rock bands from San Diego in the Thrill Me Records family. Lots of jangle and big hooks to be heard at this show.

BACKUP PLAN: Migos, Yo Gotti, Ty Dolla $ign, G-Eazy @ Valley View Casino Center.

SUNDAY, DEC. 24

PLAN A: ‘Exile on Kettner Blvd.’ @ The Casbah. Speaking of holiday traditions, local musicians have been participating in this annual Christmas Eve Rolling Stones cover show for as long as I can remember. It’s free, and for those who prefer to step out while Santa stuffs himself down the chimney, it should be a fun time.

MONDAY, DEC. 25

PLAN A: Roast Beast, Eggnog, Holiday Cheer @ Your House. It’s Christmas, and all the clubs in town are closed. So stay home, spend some time with the family, open some presents and enjoy the day off.

TUESDAY, DEC. 26

PLAN A: Velour @ Soda Bar. Nurse the holiday hangover with a set of grungy rock ‘n’ roll from locals Velour. Their brand of power-pop is heavy on distortion and ‘90sera hooks. It’s pretty fun, and it’s a hell of a lot better than going shopping the day after Christmas.

COURTESY OF EPITAPH RECORDS

Retox @SDCITYBEAT

DECEMBER 20, 2017 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · 27

MUSIC

CONCERTS HOT! NEW! FRESH!

Deadbolt (Casbah, 1/5), Eukaryst (Soda Bar, 1/19), Zeros (Soda Bar, 1/26), Stone Foxes (Casbah, 2/1), David Dondero (Soda Bar, 2/11), Year of the Cobra (Brick by Brick, 2/26), K. Michelle (Music Box, 3/7), U.S. Girls (Soda Bar, 3/8), American Nightmare (Brick by Brick, 3/9), Talib Kweli (Music Box, 3/9), Wolves in the Throne Room (Brick by Brick, 3/11), ‘Flogging Molly’ (Observatory, 3/14), Royal Thunder (Brick by Brick, 3/21), RJD2 (Music Box, 3/23), Brett Dennen (BUT, 3/24), KOLARS (Soda Bar, 3/29), Lindi Ortega (Soda Bar, 3/30), Moose Blood (Quartyard, 4/2), Autograf (Music Box, 4/6), ‘Welcome to Night Vale’ (Observatory, 4/25), Charlie Puth (Mattress Firm Amphitheatre, 8/20).

GET YER TICKETS Snoop Dogg (Music Box, 12/27), Cracker, Camper Van Beethoven (BUT, 12/27), Cherry Glazerr (Observatory, 12/27), Donavon Frankenreiter (BUT, 12/28), Third Eye Blind (Observatory, 1/1), T.S.O.L. (Casbah, 1/4), DJ Quik, Warren G (HOB, 1/5), Willie Nelson (Harrah’s Resort, 1/6), Milky Chance (HOB, 1/8), K. Flay (Observatory, 1/13), Luna (Casbah, 1/14), Black Rebel Motorcycle Club (HOB, 1/15), Kris Kristofferson (BUT, 1/15), Josh Ritter (BUT, 1/16), Big Boi (Observatory, 1/18), Beat Farmers Hootenanny (BUT,

1/20), Wolf Parade (Observatory, 1/23), Ty Segall (BUT, 1/24), DVSN (Observatory, 1/29), Passion Pit (Observatory, 2/1), Fetty Wap (HOB, 2/3), Phoebe Bridgers (Soda Bar, 2/5), Allah-Las (BUT, 2/8), Ja Rule and Ashanti (Observatory, 2/9), Miranda Lambert (Viejas Arena, 2/15), Mary Timony plays Helium (Casbah, 2/15), Dan Auerbach (Observatory, 2/19), Superchunk (Casbah, 2/21), Missing Persons (Casbah, 2/23), Demi Lovato, DJ Khaled (Viejas Arena, 2/26), Margo Price (BUT, 3/2), Gogol Bordello (Observatory, 3/3), 311 (HOB, 3/5), Lucy Dacus (Casbah, 3/21), George Clinton (HOB, 3/28), Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark (HOB, 3/31), The Soft Moon (Casbah, 4/14), Los Lonely Boys (BUT, 4/22), Art Garfunkel (Balboa Theatre, 4/27), Baths (BUT, 5/3), Keb’ Mo’ (BUT, 5/6-7), Weird Al Yankovic (Humphreys, 5/12), Franz Ferdinand (Observatory, 5/13), Nada Surf (BUT, 5/14), Earth, Wind and Fire (Harrah’s SoCal, 5/18), Madeleine Peyroux (BUT, 5/28), Kesha, Macklemore (Mattress Firm Amphitheatre, 6/12), Weezer, The Pixies (Mattress Firm Amphitheatre, 8/11).

DECEMBER WEDNESDAY, DEC. 20 Homeshake at Observatory North Park.

Ziggy Shuffledust and the Spiders from Mars at The Casbah.

THURSDAY, DEC. 21 Supersuckers at The Casbah. Bone Thugs-N-Harmony at House of Blues.

Fishbone at Belly Up Tavern. Berkley Hart at Music Box. Retox at SPACE.

28 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · DECEMBER 20, 2017

FRIDAY, DEC. 22 L.A. Witch at The Casbah. Green Jelly at Brick by Brick. X at Observatory North Park. The English Beat at Belly Up Tavern (sold out). Ozomatli at Music Box. Vvswiz at SOMA.

SATURDAY, DEC. 23 The Gloomies, Hideout at Soda Bar. The English Beat at Belly Up Tavern (sold out). Ozomatli at Music Box. El Vez Merry Mexmas at The Casbah. Lil Pump at SOMA. Heavy Hawaii at SPACE.

SUNDAY, DEC. 24 ‘Exile on Kettner Blvd.’ at The Casbah.

TUESDAY, DEC. 26 Velour at Soda Bar.

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 27 Cracker, Camper Van Beethoven at Belly Up Tavern. Cherry Glazerr at Observatory North Park. A Shattered Hope at Soda Bar. Snoop Dogg at Music Box.

THURSDAY, DEC. 28 The Dinettes at The Casbah. Donavon Frankenreiter at Belly Up Tavern. Electric Mud at Soda Bar. Malaa at Observatory North Park.

FRIDAY, DEC. 29 Zhu at Observatory North Park. The Mattson 2 at The Casbah. Trombone Shorty & Orleans Avenue at Belly Up Tavern (sold out). The Steely Damned at Music Box. Chris D’Elia at House of Blues.

Behind the Wagon at Soda Bar. ‘Disco Goth’ w/ Soft Lions at SPACE.

SATURDAY, DEC. 30 Mac Sabbath, Dwarves at Brick by Brick. Chicano Batman at Observatory North Park. Trombone Shorty & Orleans Avenue at Belly Up Tavern (sold out). The Mattson 2 at The Casbah. E-40 at Music Box. Chris D’Elia at House of Blues. Downspell at Soda Bar.

SUNDAY, DEC. 31 The Creepy Creeps at Soda Bar. The Donkeys at The Casbah. Little Hurricane at Music Box. Big Head Todd and the Monsters at Belly Up Tavern. Alkaline Trio, Rocket from the Crypt at Observatory North Park.

JANUARY MONDAY, JAN. 1 Third Eye Blind at Observatory North Park.

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 3 Monarch at The Casbah. A.J. Croce at Belly Up Tavern. Coco Columbia at Soda Bar.

THURSDAY, JAN. 4 T.S.O.L. at The Casbah. Alika at Belly Up Tavern. Major Threat at Soda Bar.

FRIDAY, JAN. 5 DJ Quik, Warren G at House of Blues.

Alice Unchained at Music Box. Black Sabbitch at Soda Bar. Deadbolt at The Casbah.

SATURDAY, JAN. 6

and Tender Hooligans at Observatory North Park. Petty – A Tribute to Tom Petty at The Casbah. The Winehouse Experience at Music Box. The Stranger at Belly Up Tavern. Damage Inc. at House of Blues. Mrs. Magician at Soda Bar.

SUNDAY, JAN. 7 The Paladins at Belly Up Tavern. WENS at Soda Bar.

MONDAY, JAN. 8 Milky Chance at House of Blues.

TUESDAY, JAN. 9 Suzanne Santo at The Casbah. David Lindley at Belly Up Tavern. Naivete at Soda Bar.

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 10 Veronica May at Soda Bar.

THURSDAY, JAN. 11 Capitol Steps at Spreckels Theatre.

TV Girl at Soda Bar. Black Marble at SPACE. White Wizzard at Brick by Brick.

FRIDAY, JAN. 12 Karl Denson’s Tiny Universe at Belly Up Tavern. Dirty Sweet at The Casbah.

SATURDAY, JAN. 13 K. Flay at Observatory North Park. Red Aunts at The Casbah. The Generators at Soda Bar. Glass Spells at SPACE. Tommy Castro and the Painkillers at Belly Up Tavern. Fates Warning at Brick

by Brick.

Willie Nelson at Harrah’s Resort. Sweet

@SDCITYBEAT

MUSIC SUNDAY, JAN. 14 Luna at The Casbah. Pkew Pkew Pkew at Soda Bar. Demun Jones at Brick by Brick.

MONDAY, JAN. 15 Black Rebel Motorcycle Club at House of Blues. Kris Kristofferson at Belly Up Tavern (sold out).

TUESDAY, JAN. 16 Josh Ritter at Belly Up Tavern. Buck-ONine at The Casbah. Naivete at Soda Bar.

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 17 Yung Lean at Observatory North Park.

The Flesh Eaters at The Casbah.

THURSDAY, JAN. 18 Big Boi at Observatory North Park. Surfer Blood at The Casbah. Cold Showers at SPACE. Al Stewart at Belly Up Tavern (sold out).

FRIDAY, JAN. 19 The White Buffalo at Observatory North Park. The Magnificent at The Casbah.

Monte Pittman at Brick by Brick. Eukaryst at Soda Bar.

SATURDAY, JAN. 20 Pulley at Soda Bar. Beat Farmers Hootenanny at Belly Up Tavern. G3: Joe Satriani, John Petrucci, Phil Collen at Balboa Theatre. Ill Nicky at Music Box. Esham at Brick by Brick.

SUNDAY, JAN. 21 Judas Priestess at Soda Bar. Body/ Head at The Casbah. Jo Koy at Copley Symphony Hall.

@SDCITYBEAT

MONDAY, JAN. 22 Willy Tea Taylor at Soda Bar. Quel Bordel at The Casbah.

TUESDAY, JAN. 23 Wolf Parade, Charly Bliss at Observatory North Park. The Toasters at Soda Bar. Pond at The Casbah. John Hiatt and the Goners at Belly Up Tavern (sold out).

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 24 Ty Segall at Belly Up Tavern. Jessica Lea Mayfield at The Casbah. August Burns Red at House of Blues. Spirit Award at Soda Bar.

THURSDAY, JAN. 25 Grace Mitchell at Soda Bar. The Deep Dark Woods at The Casbah. Skinlab at Brick by Brick.

FRIDAY, JAN. 26 Hammerfall at Brick by Brick. Demetri Martin at Balboa Theatre. Rob Bell at Observatory North Park. Taken by Canadians at The Casbah. Zeros at Soda Bar.

SATURDAY, JAN. 27 Eric Johnson at House of Blues. Converge at Brick by Brick (sold out). St. Vincent at Observatory North Park (sold out).

Dariush at Balboa Theatre. Twin Ritual at Soda Bar.

SUNDAY, JAN. 28 Reverend Horton Heat at Observatory North Park. Lee ‘Scratch’ Perry at Music Box. Flamingosis at The Casbah.

MONDAY, JAN. 29 John Maus at Belly Up Tavern. DVSN at Observatory North Park. Pinback at The Casbah. The Lillingtons at Soda Bar.

TUESDAY, JAN. 30 Anti-Flag at SOMA. Pinback at The Casbah.

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 31 Tower of Power at Belly Up Tavern. Gilberto Santa Rosa at Music Box. Pinback at The Casbah. Prawn at Soda Bar.

rCLUBSr

710 Beach cific Beach.

Fri: Rhythm Skunk Dub, derway.

Club, 710 Garnet Ave., PaThu: Solstice Synchronicity. and the Method. Sat: Inhale, Mango Habanero. Tue: Un-

Air Conditioned Lounge, 4673 30th St., Normal Heights. Wed: ‘Hip Hop Wednesday’ w/ MC Kahlee. Thu: ‘Upload’ w/ DJ Gordon Davis. Sat: ‘Juicy’ w/ Mike Czech.

American Comedy Co., 818 B Sixth Ave., Downtown. Thu: Brad Williams. Fri: Brad Williams. Sat: Brad Williams.

The Bancroft, 9143 Campo Road, Spring Valley. Sat: Foreign Bodies, Death Eyes, Foreign Crisis, Bloody Jellies.

Bar Pink, 3829 30th St., North Park. Wed: ‘Toy Drive’ w/ Gary Wilson, Normandie Wilson. Thu: DJ Ikah Love. Fri: Tori Roze and the Hot Mess. Sat: The Husky Boy AllStars. Tue: DJ Anja Stax.

Bang Bang, 526 Market St., Downtown.

Fri: Hotfire. Sat: Walker & Royce.

Beaumont’s, 5665 La Jolla Blvd., La Jolla. Fri: Greasy Petes. Sat: Jones Revival.

Belly Up Tavern, 143 S. Cedros Ave., Solana Beach. Wed: The Venice Christmas Show (sold out). Thu: Fishbone, Band of Gringos, Tunnel Vision. Fri: The English Beat, King Schascha (sold out). Sat: The English Beat, King Schascha (sold out).

Black Cat Bar, 4246 University Ave., City Heights. Fri: The Screamin’ Yeehaws, The Focke Wolves, Call of the Wild. Sat: Old Bones, Rose Colored Glasses, Victoria and the Vaudevillains.

Blonde, 1808 W. Washington St., Mission Hills. Wed: ‘Dance Klassique’ w/ DJs Joe Pea, Ryan Bauer, Gomez. Thu: Fist Fight With Wolves. Fri: ‘Through Being Cool’ w/ DJs Derek Hubbard, Steven Oira. Sat: ‘Deep End Party’. Sun: Kill Quanti’s Silver X Gold. Tue: ‘T is 4 Techno’.

Boar Cross’n, 390 Grand Ave., Carlsbad.

Thu: Triloc. Fri: ‘Club Musae’.

Brick by Brick, 1130 Buenos Ave., Bay Park. Fri: Green Jelly, Malakai, 222, Steeltoe, Van Brando. Sat: Empyrean Throne, Wolf King, Corpsemaker.

The Casbah, 2501 Kettner Blvd., Middletown. Wed: Ziggy Shuffledust and the Spiders from Mars, Electric Warrior. Thu: Supersuckers, The Bellrays, Bombpops.

Fri: L.A. Witch, The Prettiest Eyes, The Mad Walls. Sat: El Vez Merry Mexmas, Pony Death Ride, Ron and the Reapers.

Sun: ‘Exile on Kettner Blvd.’ Tue: ‘Hip Hop Battle Bot’ w/ DJ Artistic.

Crush, 437 S. Highway 101, Ste. 112, Solana Beach. Wed: Peter Sprague. Thu: Larry White. Fri: Steve Orr. Sat: Tony Suraci. Tue: Steve Orr.

MUSIC CONTINUED ON PAGE 32

DECEMBER 20, 2017 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · 29

MUSIC MUSIC CONTINUED FROM PAGE 29 Dirk’s Nightclub, 7662 Broadway, Lemon Grove. Fri: Final Days. Sat: January Berry.

Dizzy’s, 4275 Mission Bay Drive, Downtown. Fri: Chase Morrin. Sat: Holiday Bebop.

The Field Irish Pub, 544 Fifth Ave., Downtown. Wed: Fiore. Thu: Fiore. Fri: The Upshots. Sat: Coral Bells. Tue: Eric French.

F6ix, 526 F St., Downtown. Fri: DJ Slowhand & Brakes. Sat: Heart Attak. Sun: ‘Reggae Sunday’ w/ Shotta Crew.

Fluxx, 500 Fourth Ave., Downtown. Fri: ‘White Party’ w/ Murphi Kennedy, Kika G. Sat: Ty Dolla$ign.

Henry’s Pub, 618 Fifth Ave., Downtown.

Wed: Ride the Mule. Thu: DJ Yodah. Fri: ‘Good Times’. Sat: ‘Rock Star Saturday’.

Tue: Taco-Billy.

The Holding Company, 5046 Newport Ave., Ocean Beach. Wed: OREN & Friends, Ben Limpic Band, Ryan Trafolla Band, Sweet Myths, Hardcovers. Thu: Ease Up, Rockaway Kings. Fri: Fooz Fighters, Full Moon Fever, DJ OMZ. Sat: BJ Jezbera, DJ Ofier. Tue: Piracy Conspiracy, Blaine Mazzetti & The Originators.

Hooley’s, 5500 Grossmont Center Drive, La Mesa. Fri: Sam Bybee. Sat: The Heart Band.

House of Blues, 1055 Fifth Ave., Downtown. Wed: DJ Mike White. Thu: Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, WC, DJ Aero, SkrewedUp Dev, Bassem G, Dirty Boyz.

Fri: Jerry ‘Hot Rod’ Demink. Sat: ‘Oh Snap! ‘90s Hip Hop Party’.

Humphreys Backstage, 2241 Shelter Island Drive, Shelter Island. Wed: Taryn Donath Band. Thu: Bumpasonic.

Fri: Detroit Underground, Sue Palmer.

Sat: Wildside, Y3K. Sun: Ray Bell and the Feelgood Band. Mon: Stellita. Tue: Mercedes Moore.

Java Joe’s, 2611 Congress St., Old Town. Fri: Nina Francis. Sat: Ian McCarter.

Kava Lounge, 2812 Kettner Blvd., Middletown. Wed: ‘Psilo’ w/ Swell. Thu: ‘Acid Varsity Xmas’. Fri: ‘Bollywood Masquerade’. Sat: ‘Naughty Elf Invasion’.

Lestat’s Coffee House, 3343 Adams Ave., Normal Heights. Thu: New Alchemy Poetry Series. Sat: Home, Samer Bakri, Raena Jade.

Mc P’s Irish Pub, 1107 Orange Ave., Coronado. Wed: Goodall Boys. Thu: Stilettos. Fri: Stilettos. Sat: Never 2L8.

Sun: In Midlife Crisis. Tue: Steve Brewer.

30 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · DECEMBER 20, 2017

Martinis Above Fourth, 3940 Fourth Ave., Hillcrest. Wed: The Skivvies. Thu: ‘Angel City’ w/ Spencer Day. Fri: ‘Christmas Spectacular’. Sat: Jesse Cantlay Band. Sun: ‘Waiting For Santa’ w/ Ria Carey and Don L. Tue: ‘Stars of the Future’.

The Merrow, 1271 University Ave., Hillcrest. Wed: ‘Naughty or Nice Variety Night’. Thu: Diamond Lakes, Little Heroine, Soft Lions, Low Points. Fri: ‘Pasion Latina’.

Mr. Peabody’s, 136 Encinitas Blvd., Encinitas. Thu: The California Rangers.

Fri: Imagery Machine. Sat: ‘Tommy’s Jingle Jam’ w/ Casey Della Vecchia, Following Tina. Sun: Tony Ortega jazz jam.

Music Box, 1337 India St., Little Italy.

Thu: Berkley Hart, Gregory Page, Randi Driscoll, Eve Selis. Fri: Ozomatli, The Sleepwalkers, DJ Stepwise. Sat: Ozomatli, Chali 2na, DJ Richie.

The Office, 3936 30th St., North Park.

Wed: ‘1,2,3’ w/ DJ EdRoc. Thu: ‘No Limits’ w/ DJ Myson King. Fri: ‘After Hours’ w/ DJs Adam Salter, Kid Wonder. Sat: ‘Strictly Business’ w/ DJs Kanye Asada, Gabe Vega. Sun: ‘Uptown Top Ranking’ w/ Tribe of Kings.

Panama 66, 1450 El Prado, Balboa Park. Wed: Gilbert Castellanos. Thu: Robert Dove. Fri: Gabriel Sundy Trio.

Sat: Michael Borowski Trio.

Parq, 615 Broadway, Downtown. Fri: Dynamiq. Sat: Romeo Reyes.

Plaza Bar at Westgate Hotel, 1055 2nd Ave., Downtown. Fri: Gilbert Castellanos. Sat: Allison Adams Tucker.

Alone. Sat: ‘Live Band Karaoke’. Tue: The Gabriel Sundy Jazz Trio.

Soda Bar, 3615 El Cajon Blvd., City Heights. Wed: Adam Everett, The Lucy Ring. Thu: Imagery Machine, Space Control, OrchidxMantis, DJ Narkatta.

Fri: Dead Feather Moon, Wish & the Well, Shane Hall. Sat: The Gloomies, Hideout, John the Baptist, Stephanie Brown & The Surrealistics. Tue: Velour.

SOMA, 3350 Sports Arena Blvd., Midway. Fri: VVSwiz, PumpkinVVS, Kolty, Bloudyboy, Essence. Sat: Lil Pump.

SPACE, 3519 El Cajon Blvd., City Heights.

Wed: ‘Make Yourself At Home’. Thu: Retox, Graf Orlock, Skrapez, Planet B. Fri: ‘Booty Bassment Christmas Rappin’ Dance Party’. Sat: Heavy Hawaii, Sixes.

Spin, 2028 Hancock St., Midtown. Fri: ‘Nightmare Before Bassmass’ w/ Meaux Green. Sat: ‘Xmas Hearts’ w/ Mikey Lion, Lee Reynolds, Marbs, Porkchop.

Sycamore Den, 3391 Adams Ave., Normal Heights. Thu: Mojo Jackson.

Til-Two Club, 4746 El Cajon Blvd., City Heights. Thu: ‘Rock and Roll Preservation Society’ w/ DJs Heather Hardcore, Diana Death. Sat: Busted Coffins, The Cat Chasers, Ghost Town Gamblers.

Sun: ‘Pants Karaoke’.

Tin Roof, 401 G St., Downtown. Wed: Kenny and Deez. Thu: Lauren Leigh and Sam. Fri: Coriander, Evan Diamond Goldberg. Sat: Coriander, Evan Diamond Goldberg. Tue: Evan Diamond Goldberg.

Proud Mary’s, 5550 Kearny Mesa Road, Kearny Mesa. Wed: ‘Blues Jam’ w/ Aubrey Fay. Thu: Tomcat Courtney.

Tio Leo’s, 5302 Napa St., Bay Park.

Wed: Fuzzy Rankins and the Blues Band. Thu: ‘Swingin Through the Zodiac Party’ w/ Madame Mercedes. Fri: Santanaways.

The Rail, 3796 Fifth Ave., Hillcrest. Fri: ‘Hip Hop Fridayz’. Sat: ‘Sabados en Fuego’ w/ DJs XP, KA, K-Swift.

Tower Bar, 4757 University Ave., City Heights. Sat: Christ Killer, The Natives, Idiot Bombs.

Rich’s, 1051 University Ave., Hillcrest.

Wed: DJs John Joseph, Kinky Loops.

Thu: DJs Moody Rudy, Ramiro V. Fri: DJs Dirty Kurty, Will Z. Sat: DJs K-Swift, Taj. Sun: DJs Hektik, K-Swift.

U-31, 3112 University Ave., North Park.

Wed: Joey Jimenez. Thu: ‘Boom Boxx Thursday’. Fri: DJ Freeman. Sat: DJ Junior the Disco Punk. Tue: ’31 Flavors’.

Riviera Supper Club, 7777 University Ave., La Mesa. Wed: ‘Boss Jazz’ w/ Jason Hanna. Thu: Alvino and the Dwells.

Fri: Barnyard Stompers. Sat: Nathan Hubbard Quartet.

Rosie O’Gradys, 3402 Adams Ave., Normal Heights. Sat: Barnyard Stompers.

Seven Grand, 3054 University Ave., San Diego. Wed: The Waylon Hicks Project. Thu: Jimmy Ruelas. Fri: Sophia

Whistle Stop, 2236 Fern St., South Park. Thu: Age of Collapse, Polish, BobxRoss. Fri: ‘Death by Dancing’ w/ DJ Jon Blaj. Sat: ‘Booty Bassment’ w/ DJs Dimitri, Rob. Tue: ‘Videodrome’.

Winstons, 1921 Bacon St., Ocean Beach. Wed: Sin Familia, DJ Carlos Culture. Thu: Naked Funk, The Shakes.

Fri: B-Side Players. Sat: B-Side Players. Tue: MKC, Like Lexington, Sunshine Butthole.

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LAST WORDS | ADVICE

AMY ALKON

ADVICE

GODDESS

You Flooze, You Lose

something’s missing within them. But soulsearching is emotionally grubby, tedious I’m a married lesbian in my 50s. I blew up work, so they first look for that missing somemy happy marriage by having an affair thing in the nearest hot person’s underpants. with somebody I didn’t love and wasn’t It seems inexplicable (and borderline even that attracted to. Now my wife, crazy) that you risked everything you care whom I love very much, is divorcing me. about for somebody you find kind of meh— Why did I cheat on her? I don’t under- until you look at this through the lens of stand my own behavior. “bounded rationality.” And before anybody

—Lost takes a lighter to hay on a pitchfork and There are those special people you meet starts chasing me down, I’m simply offering who end up changing your life—though a possible explanation for such baffling beideally not from happily married person to havior; I’m not excusing cheating. lonely middle-aged divorcee living in a mil“Bounded rationality” is the late Nobel dew-stained studio.

Prize-winning cognitive scientist Herbert There’s a widespread assumption that “a Simon’s term for the constraints on our happy marriage is insurance against infidel- ability to make truly reasoned, rational deity,” explained the late infidelity researcher cisions. These decision-making constraints Shirley Glass. Even she used to assume that. include having a limited time to make a However, her research (and that of subse- choice and limited cognitive ability, which quent researchers) finds that even happily keeps us from seeing the whole picture, with married people end up cheating—for a vari- its rainbow of repercussions. ety of reasons. Sometimes they want better We can end up engaging in what psysex or even just different sex. Sometimes they chologists call “framing,” a sort of selectawant an ego shine. And sometimes they feel vision in which we make decisions based on

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whichever part of the picture happens to be in mental focus at the time. (Of course, we’re more likely to focus on how fun it would be to have a little strange than how strange it would be to end up exiled to a motel when the wife finds out.)

For some people, behavior from their spouse that suggests “Ha-ha… crossed my fingers during that vows thing!” is simply a deal breaker. But say your wife still loves you and is mainly leaving because she feels she can’t trust you. (A partner who inexplicably cheats is a partner there’s no stopping from inexplicably cheating again.)

If you can explain (though not excuse!) your thinking (or non-thinking) at the time, maybe your wife will agree to try couples therapy, at least for a few months. Bounded rationality aside, I suspect you’re unlikely to cheat again, and especially not on what I call “The ER Model” for bad decisions: patients muttering, “This isn’t how I thought the night would end”—just before the doctor extracts the light saber-toting action figure from a place where, no, the sun does not shine but supplemental illumination is generally unnecessary.

Good Mourning!

How long does it take to get over someone? One friend said it takes half as long as you were together, and another said it takes twice that time.

—Recently Dumped Sometimes it takes a while to let go, but sometimes you’re so ready that you’d chase

the person off your porch with a shotgun (if you had a porch or a shotgun and weren’t afraid of doing time on a weapons charge).

Your friends, with their precise breakup timetables, are confusing emotional recovery with mass transit. The reality is, people vary—like in how naturally resilient they are—and so do relationships. (Some are long over before they’re formally retired.)

Sadness after a breakup can feel like the pointless adult version of getting grounded indefinitely. However, as I’ve written in previous columns, psychiatrist and evolutionary psychologist Randolph Nesse explains that sadness appears to be “adaptive”—meaning that it has useful functions.

For example, the “disengagement” from motivation that accompanies sadness gives us time to process what happened, possibly helping us learn from our mistakes instead of inviting them back in for an eggnog.

Accordingly, a way to heal emotionally is to find meaning within your mistakes—figuring out what you might have seen or done differently, which tells you what you should probably do differently in the future. In other words, think of the sadness holding you down not as your hostage-taker but as your helper. Deliberately using it that way might even help you curb the impatience that leads some to start dating before they’re actually ready. Sure, on a first date, it’s good to give a guy the sense that you’re passionate and emotionally present, but probably not by sobbing uncontrollably when he asks whether you want a latte.

DECEMBER 20, 2017 · SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT · 31