Truly Woman Magazine - January 2009

TRULY WOMAN | JANUARY 2009

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contents

January 2009

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21 Days to a Better You!

Share the Good Stuff!

Get Back in the Game

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Truly Woman Magazine

Expectant Mom Rules

Inspiring - Motivating Connecting Women Globally

Find us Online! trulycaribbean.net trulycaribbeanwoman on wordpress.com

22 Pampered and Empowered in Grand Cayman

Cover Photo: Nerissa Golden, Cayman Islands Photographer: Madhavi Mathura Truly Woman Magazine is a Truly Caribbean Production of Goldenmedia | Montserrat | W.I. E-mail: info@trulycaribbean.net Š 2009 All rights reserved.

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Good Enough I am good enough just the way I am today, right now, this moment, this year! It is one of the reasons I chose to be on the first cover of this New Year, sans makeup, fancy hairdo and designer clothing. You too are good enough right now.

How can I declare you are good enough and then tell you to follow the guide in 21 Days to a Better You which starts on page 5? That answer is easy. You are good enough because God declared it so after creating man in the Garden of Eden. The 21 Days guide is to help you be completely settled with that declaration and to fall in love with your Creator and seek His plan for your life.

More often than not in the past year, when I consider the visions God has placed before me, I get stopped at the notion that I am not good enough.

My thoughts and failures shout at me that someone else is much more qualified, prettier, wittier, wealthier and talented than me. But God never asked me to be qualified, prettier, wittier, wealthier or more talented. He has asked me to be obedient to His call for me to fulfill the passions and purpose inside of me for his glory.

“...God never asked me to be qualified, prettier, wittier, wealthier or more talented ...�

When you stare in the mirror and can only see yourself through your past failures and present circumstances you will never believe you are good enough. But through consistent prayer and study of the Word of God (the Holy Bible) your eyes will be enlightened as Ephesians 1:18 says and can know with all assurance what you were created and empowered to do through Jesus Christ.

Enjoy this edition of Truly Woman magazine. As always, I appreciate those of you who send your comments and share copies with all of your friends. I do covet your earnest prayers as we grow and we welcome your contributions of stories and ideas on how we can reach women with the love of God. Be blessed!

Nerissa Truly Caribbean Woman CREATIVE DIRECTOR

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Ask For Water

By Nerissa Golden

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Imagine you could change your life for the better in 21 days. You can. This guide coupled with prayer and fasting is can help to bring results beyond even your own expectations if you are committed. There are so many testaments to the power of prayer and fasting in the bible. Daniel went on a 21 Day fast and received answers to prayers and the interpretation of a great vision which we could see manifested fully in our lifetime.

Although food is the most common method of fasting, I have found success in fasting my television time, internet or just making a discipline to pray at a particular time of day. This month rather than give up anything, I am adding to my life. For 21 days I am going to make sure I add at least one fruit to my diet. This may not be a big deal for some of you but I know many women who will make sure their kids have lots of fruits and vegetables but won’t even bite into a piece of apple. I am also committing myself to spending the first moments of every day in a thanksgiving prayer, not making requests but simply being thankful.

I trust you will be inspired to change your life for the better in 21 days.

Week One – Giving Day One – Give God your Tithe (Deut. 14:28). God must be first in all you do and in all you possess. He promises that when we honor his commandment to bring a tenth of what we gain He will protect and multiply the rest.

Day Two – Give God your Time (Hos. 10:12). Today seek God’s plan about how should spend the 24 hours in your day. Look for time wasters and seek more productive use of the time you have been given.

Day Three – Give God your Tears (Ps 6:6, Luke 7:38). Tears need no interpretation by your God. He understands them like you understand your mother tongue. There will be days when you cannot verbalize your troubles but that is not a bother to God, just pour out your heart through your tears.

Day Four – Give God Your Touch (Mat 9:21). With one touch a woman suffering from a blood disease was made perfectly whole. Take the time today to touch the hem of Jesus’ garment. Do what ever is necessary to stop Him in His tracks long enough for your situation to change permanently.

Day Five – Give God your Temple (1 Cor. 3:16,17). Your body is God’s dwelling place. What you put on it and in it speaks to His place in your life. Today take a look in your closet and identify the clothing that does not bring you glory or God. You are not sexier the more skin you show. Classic looks never go out of style.

Day Six – Give God your Temper (2 Pet 1:6). God wants you self-controlled in all situations. Seek the knowledge today of the things that get you heated and make you lose control. Find the triggers that always set you off. Is it a cloudy day or a bill? Is it a screaming baby or a husband that drops his things everywhere but where you want them? Surrender the • Donate to the Red Cross or Salvation Army any clothing triggers and the issues to that you have not worn in at least four to six months.

God and ask Him to help • Give away any clothes that are not your present size (even you grow in this area.

Day Seven – Give God your if you plan to lose weight).

Thanks (Eph 5:20). Be • Get yourself fitted for new bras. thankful today for life. The • Add more color to your wardrobe. ability to see, the rain and the sun, a roof over your • Have at least two different versions of the little black dress, you never know when you will need them, so be head, your children, your friends and all of the other prepared. blessings that you will be • Do not wear shoes too big or too small for you just besure to find are without cause you like them. It creates a lifetime of damage to number.

your feet and your back.

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Week Two Day Eight – Receive His Promise (Jer. 29:11) The bible is jam packed with promises. Start with this one in Jeremiah. Understand and accept that God only has good thoughts and plans for you.

Receive it and act like that from today on.

Day Nine – Receive His Presence (Gen. 3:8) When Adam and Eve sinned they ran away from their Creator. Don’t run from your Lord, run to Him and bask in His love for you, which is unchanging and undeniable.

Day Ten – Receive His Provision (Ps 132:15). It doesn’t matter the state of your bank account or the empty purse, God wants to provide all you need. He is not limited by the economy or the

If you do not know

JESUS Simply pray the following prayer and Jesus will be your Lord.

Heavenly Father, I come to You in the Name of Jesus. Your Word says, “Whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved” and “If thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved” (Acts 2:21; Romans 10:9).

You said my salvation would be the result of Your Holy Spirit giving me new birth by coming to live in me (John 3:56, 15-16; Romans 8:9-11) and that if I would ask, You would fill me with Your Spirit and give me the ability to speak with other tongues (Luke 11:13; Acts 2:4).

I take You at Your Word. I confess that Jesus is Lord. And I believe in my heart that You raised Him from the dead.

Thank You for coming into my heart, for giving me Your Holy Spirit as You have promised, and for being Lord over my life. Amen.

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location you live in the world. He is a God of any currency. Start expecting provision instead of lack.

Day Eleven – Receive His Protection (Isa 54:17).

Nothing that comes against you has the power to take effect outside of the will of God. It is not His will for harm to come to you or yours. Declare this verse and also Psalms 91 over yourself, your children and your spouse.

Day Twelve – Receive His Prosperity (3 John 2).

He said it so this must be true. He desires for you to prosper in all areas of life and to have perfect health too. Begin to see prosperity through His eyes and it is much more than cash. It is peace, joy and righteousness. Wealth is just an outward manifestation of inner wealth.

Day Thirteen – Receive His Prince (Isa 9:6) Jesus was called the Prince of Peace before He ever made His journey here. If you do not know Him as your personal Savior and Lord you need to do so to enjoy the benefits of becoming His princess.

(See salvation prayer) Day Fourteen – Receive His Priestly Anointing (Josh 18:7) Did you know you were declared a priest. When you accept Jesus as Lord you also become a part of the priesthood with the power to come into the presence of God without having to make blood sacrifices. Jesus was the ultimate sacrifice. This priesthood has many rights and privileges including the authority to speak to those impossible situations around you and cast them into the sea.

Week Three Day Fifteen – Commit to Pray (1 Thes. 5:17).

You are not confined to a location or a time of day to talk to your Heavenly Father. As you drive or take the bus to work, speak to Him. Nothing fancy. Talk to Him as you would a treasured friend. Let Him know what is troubling you and what your heart desires. He will answer.

Day Sixteen – Commit to Love (Deut 10:19). It is not hard for us to love those that do us good but can you love someone that is an enemy or even a stranger? Do something for someone who cannot repay you today and watch the love of God spread in your own life and there’s.

Day Seventeen – Commit to use your Gift (Pro 18:16). There is an ability you have today that when used to empower others puts God on notice. He is watching to see when he can send you more gifts and more opportunities to bless others. visit trulycaribbean.net

Day Eighteen – Commit to Godliness (1 Tim 3:16) Practicing to live your life according to God’s prescription leads to a lifetime of profitability. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you areas in your life that could use a makeover God’s way. Pursue this through reading the word and finding books that deal with the issues that you are shown.

Day Nineteen – Commit to Dream and Believe (Heb 11:6). There is nothing new under the sun, every dream, every moment of your life has been planned. Open your imagination to dream new dreams. Believe that God wants you to accomplish them for His glory. Pursue them by taking a class, writing that business plan. It is time to take action.

Day Twenty – Commit to Live (Matt 4:4). It does not matter what issue you are facing, God’s word has the plan. Living is not just getting up each day and waiting for nighttime to come, it is consciously and actively pursuing your dreams and choosing to affect the lives of those around you positively. You have an opportunity every day to make a sound. Martin Luther King Jr. made a sound that still resonates today. President Barack Obama has made a sound and we wait to see the future impact of it. Jesus Christ made a sound that brings us eternal life if we only believe. What sound does your life make today?

Day Twenty One – Commit to Rest (Ps 37:7). It is the ultimate plan of God that we live every day in rest. When you accept that Jesus did it all and there is no longer a need for struggle then you can rest in the power of what He did. No worrying about what to eat, or the economy. No late nights up because you don’t know what to do about a wayward child. You rest knowing He can handle it all. There can be no rest when you are stressed, when you are scared or when you worry. Live in peace and God’s rest.

Proverbs 6: 12A naughty person, a wicked man, walketh with a froward mouth. 13He winketh with his eyes, he speaketh with his feet, he teacheth with his fingers; 14Frowardness is in his heart, he deviseth mischief continually; he soweth discord.

What do you use your mouth, your eyes, your feet and your fingers to do? Are your thoughts filled with anger, jealousy and hatred of others? Are you gossiping and creating problems for others? Those attitudes and actions don’t lead to a better life.

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Make Jesus Christ, Lord of your life.

Get at least eight hours sleep each night.

• Cuddle and kiss your sweetheart more often.

• Add more fruit and vegetables to your daily diet.

• Get outdoors and play your favorite sport.

• Get a complete physical, including HIV/ AIDS test and breast cancer screening.

• Spend more time listening.

• Get your finances in order.

• Practice honesty in all of your communications.

• Give yourself a treat that costs nothing but time.

Eliminate worry and trust God more.

TRULY WOMAN | JANUARY 2009

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Singer Heather Headley has this jam called Me Time. I have learned that Me Time is really important to making me a better mommy and Daughter of the Most High. In fact, the more I spend time with Daddy God, the more He insists that I care for myself.

Me Time doesn’t always cost money but it does require time. I remember once getting a coupon to go and get a pedicure at a local resort spa for my birthday. I could never find the time to go and get it. Everything else was always more pressing. When I finally made the time the coupon had expired. Luckily they were willing to honor it and I got the pedicure, six months after the fact. What was so hard about finding one hour to make my feet feel pretty?

In time and after one too many days of sore feet and back has taught me that I am never any good for the people I care about if I am not good for me. In the end, the best investment I can make which will allow me to care for my children and fulfill my passion to motivate others is to care for my body, my spirit and my mind.

Me Time takes many forms. Sometimes its a midnight moment sitting on the toilet seat reminding God of what I need Him to help me with. Other moments its running off to get my hair done or visit a friend. I don’t schedule them, because raising four kids can be unpredictable at times. However, I have learned to cease the moment and take them regardless of the hour of the day.

I pray that you find the time for some Me Time this weekend. If there seems to be none, ask the Holy Spirit to show you opportunities you may have overlooked to stir your Spirit and refresh your mind. What is always nice is that when I grab the small moments they eventually turn into a regular part of my week and are priceless to my well being and success in every area of life. It is time to put you back on your schedule.

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Me Time

By Nerissa Golden Some of my favorite Me Time treats are on the shelf of your local beauty supply store or supermarket. It may take some time for you to feel comfortable putting yourself on the shopping list but you need to. There are days when spending five dollars for your favorite nail polish will be more important than spending it on your child.

I love Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Formula for my skin after a long hot shower.

Queen Helene’s Cocoa Butter Facial

Scrub feels great on and has been quite wonderful to help me get rid of blemishes.

Whether I am wearing makeup or not, Neutrogena’s Oil-Free Moisturizer helps to put back in moisture after my regular skin-care routine.

I have finally learned to enjoy giving myself a pedicure. No longer do I have trouble sitting still for five minutes soaking my feet. My favorite at home spa treatment is the Gena line of products with Tea Tree Oil. Start with the Pedi Soak, then the Pedi Scrub and the Pedi Mask is worth the extra five minutes.

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I am declaring this year, the Year of the Giver.

There is no other way to get through the challenges you face than to be a giver.

The following is an excerpt from a blog (trulycaribbeanwoman.wordpress.com) entry written in 2008 but relevant right now. Be blessed.

“Yesterday I was standing at the checkout line at the supermarket.

As I began to place the items on the conveyer I momentarily thought “man I hope I have enough to pay for these.” I was pretty sure I did but was also thinking if there would be enough for other expenses. As I finished the thought I heard the Spirit say “yes you have enough. I have supplied all your needs according to my riches in glory.”

Always one for a debate I tried to recall the scripture in my head. There were lots of possessive pronouns in it and I wanted to get them in the right order. Philippians 4:19 Paul was telling the Philippians, MY God will supply YOUR needs according to HIS riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

What must be stressed is that your supply is based on HIS riches, not yours. I could pull out other scriptures that talk about accessing your heavenly account and about the importance of sowing so you can reap but right now, there are some of you reading who have never sowed any-

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thing and wouldn’t even know where to start.

That however does not disqualify you from accessing God’s supply. The reason is that Jesus paid the price that cleared your account and immediately gave you total access to all that God has for you.

If you have received Jesus as your Lord and Savior then all that God has is yours, without limitations. This is the gift of grace. The free and undeserved favor of a Mighty God. Does this mean that you don’t have to be a giver? No it doesn’t. The more I receive and accept that I can access all that God has for me without measure, then the desire to please Him increases. So does my desire to share whatever He blesses me with as often and as much as I can. Not too long ago, it was hard to find a dollar to help others but my ability to give is increasing daily. The more I accept that God wants to bless me, the more I am open to receiving what He has not only for my good but to the benefit of all who cross my path.

Giving is not about cash alone. Give your time, give a few minutes to listen to a friend or a stranger who just needs to unburden their soul, share a word of encouragement, offer to pray for someone with a need, give vegetables from your garden. There are so many ways to give. You are only limited by your imagination and your fear of what people might think.

Don’t allow anything to stop you from giving.

Don’t allow anyone to stop you from receiving what is a free gift for you to receive from a merciful and Heavenly Father.

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Improve Your Hair Care Business First, you need to be a trained professional.

Although hair kits come with directions on the packaging, you do not want to be experimenting on clients that are paying for good service. Take the time and money to learn your craft. Most islands now have at least one beauty/cosmetology school and there are no excuses for not knowing the latest techniques and products available in your area of business.

If you are already established as a business, you can always do more to improve your work environment and service you offer clients. The best promotion will be happy customers with healthy hair and skin. Do your best to create an atmosphere they are comfortable being in on a regular basis.

Know Your Customers Customers are more likely to return if they feel that their stylists has a personal interest in their hair doing well. Be willing to get to know your clients and their lifestyle, not for gossip purposes but to have a better understanding of how to treat their hair.

Create a file, with one index card for each client. Note their name, address, phone number and the products that you are using. Identify any problems, such as hair breakage, patches, etc they are experiencing.

You also need to note their last appointment date and when they are due for a touch up. On a calendar note the dates that each client should have their next visit to your chair. Also add a date at least a week in advance to remind them that they have an appointment.

These little reminders can help them maintain good hair care and also allow them to budget in the expense.

Atmosphere Set the tone for your business. Are the colors on your wall inviting? Do they create a space that people feel relaxed or tense? Lighter colors will also open up your space and make it appear roomier. Use bright and dark colors as accents with cushions or in artwork and furnishings.

Accommodating Children Did you just have a baby or have young children at home? There are off days when they must come to work with you. Chances are other women and sometimes fathers are in the same predicament, so be sure to offer

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a play area where children can be comfortable as they wait. Tight on space? All you need is small colorful box or crate to hold the toys. Make sure they are not too small to be a hazard to toddlers and babies. Building blocks are always a good idea. Musical instruments are not a good option as they will increase the noise level in your salon.

Grow With Your Clients: As your business grows you may need to add more stylists to ensure that your salon maintains quality and efficiency. As great as you are, no one wants to sit for four hours waiting their turn in your chair. Add stylists, nail technicians and other professionals who can handle various hair types. Be sure to have your agreements and pay structures in writing and according to the employment laws of your country.

Continue to upgrade your own skills, read and research new products and techniques that are being marketed.

You should be able to make recommendations to clients when they ask you about a new product or method of weaving, cuts, colors, etc.

Comprende Espanol?

Caribbean people like to travel and we will move to a new island for business, work or simply pleasure. It can be a great selling tool if you are able to communicate to potential clients in their own language. Consider enrolling in a night class or get some language tapes that you can play in the car or while you work, to improve your foreign language abilities.

Be Affordable Every woman wants to be able to feel good about herself and get her hair done. However the challenges of life usually mean taking care of our hair and bodies drops on our list of priorities.

Maintaining an affordable price list may mean the difference between having a customer base that is consistent and dependable. Work to increase the number of clients you serve rather than expecting your existing ones to bear all the costs of the slow periods.

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You should picture your hair as a collection of fine fibers.

You should treat it as gently as you would a fine washable silk blouse. The better you treat your hair, the easier it will be to grow and the better it will look. African hair will tend to be dryer and more prone to breakage because the structure makes it more diffi-

cult for the oils to work their way from the scalp to the ends of the hair. If you relax your hair, you've weakened the hair and reduced the ability for the scalp to naturally oil it.

The points where the hair curls and twists are also points where the hair tends to break. The more of these points (as in African hair), the more the hair is prone to breakage. Also, because our hair is kinky, it tends to tangle more and pulling these tangles out can cause breakage.

Either section the hair and plait it, tie it back or wrap it up using a scarf before going to bed, this will reduce the number of tangles you have to comb out the next morning, reducing the chances of breaking your hair.

• Sleep with a satin scarf or sleep cap on your head or with a satin pillow case. This helps avoid split ends caused by the rubbing of your hair against a "rough" cotton pillow case. It also avoids moisture being wicked out of your hair into your cotton pillow case.

• Wash your hair no more often than every week to week and a half. More than that can dry it out.

• Comb your hair out while you're conditioning it to remove the tangles while it's wet and relatively slick.

• Oil your scalp on a regular basis with a good natural oil like shea butter. A daily moisturizer is not a bad idea.

• Do a deep conditioner or hot oil treatment once a month.

• Massage your scalp on a regular basis to promote circulation and oil production.

• Avoid overuse of products with mineral oil or petroleum. They tend to block the pores and are not readily absorbed. If your mother used Vaseline® on your hair, stop.

• If you exercise and sweat, rinse the salt out of your hair even if you don't wash it. Condition it afterwards with a daily leave-in conditioner.

• Always use a leave-in conditioner after washing your hair.

• Put as little heat as possible on your hair. Heat, especially combined with perms is very damaging to hair.

• Avoid alcohol based products unless you have a need for a water-free shampoo to cleanse your scalp (for example while you're waiting for your locks to lock).

• Remember that water (moisture) is your friend and get plenty- inside and out. If you used to press your hair or blow it out and learned to fear water on your hair because it would draw up, you need to get over this. Spritzing a little water on your hair every day is a good idea. Get a spray bottle and just spray it just a little.

• Eat a proper diet. Vitamins and protein are essential for proper hair growth. There are nutritional supplements specifically designed for hair and skin health.

• Find a style that works with your natural hair type and growth pattern. The less you work against your hair, the less stressed it will be.

Do not relax your hair until it is bone straight. This is just asking for trouble. Why relax your hair until it has absolutely no body or curl and then put heat on it to try to get that curl back?

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Source:treasuredlocks.com

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W

hen my children were learning to walk it was important to let them

fall and get up with nothing more than my encouragement. Over and over they would try and not make it. Sometimes they would cry and attempt to give up but they were all tenacious, as they are all running, jumping and doing gymnastics I would rather they not do today.

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You may have fallen in the relationship game but don’t give up. I call it a game because just like any athletic sport there are rules, strategies and plays that are employed to play fair but also to win.

Whether you have never been married, or recovering from a divorce it often seems easy just to hide yourself away and not pursue this area of your life. Don’t fool yourself and believe that if you pursue a career or drown yourself in community work and your kids that it will be enough to satisfy you. God made women to desire a life partner. He wants you to be with the mate He purposed for you because He knows together you improve the ability to accomplish His will 10,000 times. Now doesn’t that sound like a partnership worth pursuing?

It is important that you acknowledge that desire for your God-given mate. To many women this means that they must take finding a man into their own hands. But God is very old-fashioned in that He wants your man to find you. It is not an archaic plan it is for your protection. A woman wants and needs to be chosen. A major part of your security about your relationship will come from knowing that out of all the women around, your husband chose you.

Now that you have been honest with yourself you must give this desire to God. He gave it to you but He wants you to return to Him and seek His will for your life. There is no book you can read that will prepare you for meeting your mate better than the word of God. He has outlined a plan that will bring about your protection, provision and prosperity because He cares for you.

Learn to submit yourself to God and be obedient to what He asks of you. It will be impossible for you to submit to the husband He sends when you are not submitted to Him. Part of submitting to God’s plan is to acknowledge that He wants you to preserve your body and your sexual relations for one man. Getting back in the game does not mean to start sleeping around, or even dating. It is preparing yourself mentally, spiritually and physically to receive the one that God has set aside for you.

Be open to hearing and seeing the areas of

your life that are in error and your contribution to the end of your marriage or previous relationships. Stop the blame game and spreading the fable that he did you wrong. It takes two to make or break a relationship. What was your contribution? Was it denial, fear, arguing, insensitivity, naivety? Find out. These errors must be brought to the feet of Jesus and left there. Allow the Lord to show you where they started and fix the errors in your thinking and belief system to ensure they do not reoccur again.

The only way you will know that the problem has been overcome is to be open to receiving a man in your life. Make space in your schedule, your house, your heart. If your time is crammed full of “important” stuff then the man considering you will believe there is no space for him to fill or support you. If your house is crammed with the past both emotionally and physically it sends the signal you are not ready to move on in your life with him. If your heart is still in pain and you do not have an attitude of love, then he will not be convinced there is any love for him to receive. You can only give what you have. It is not his job to fix you or to make you love yourself.

That can only be done by God. Getting back in the game is not about dating and accepting every offer made. Be willing to allow God to bring him to you in the process of living your life. Love is found where passion and purpose intersect. Live your life with passion. Live the purpose that God created for you. Find balance in what you do and keep some time for yourself and to develop your relationship with God. Your man showing up will be a pleasant interruption because you have been so engrossed in the love your Father God pours on you. His arrival will be God’s gift to you and you will recognize him because he treats you the way your Father does.

Anything less than that means you need to find a new playground.

You are already the love you need, so wait (actively, purposefully, lovingly) on him.

Love is found where passion and purpose intersect.

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But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things (including a healthy love relationship) shall be added unto you.

(Matthew 6:33) visit trulycaribbean.net

Exhilaration no longer dominates the air, festive lights have been put away until next year, we have toasted in the New Year, some of us have made a resolution or two, and now in our moments of solitude we are faced with a choice: do I make this the year that I earnestly manifest my goals and dreams, or do I allow yet another 52 weeks; 365 days; 8,760 hours; 3,163, 6000 seconds slip through my fingers because of a choice to cling onto the past; past hurts, past mistakes, past setbacks, past discouragements, past relationships.

The question of “how to let go of the past� is posed to me quite frequently, and as we herald in the New Year, this is a time to ponder this challenge; but moreover, this is the time to genuinely elevate your mind, and let your divine glory shine in 2009.

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Although many of us promised ourselves that January 1st was a new beginning, and some of us sat in church and prayed for a new start, how many of us are sincerely willing to do the work?

Just as few of us would expect to go in the backyard and pick callaloo if we have not planted any seeds, none of us can expect to attain joy in our lives if we do not sow seeds of the same in our minds. Truly, how many of us realize that before we can move on and move up we have to find a way to cleanse our minds and hearts of negative thoughts and beliefs, and by whatever means that works for us, find spiritual healing for our wounds so that we do not spend a lifetime emotionally and spiritually crippled.

As I sat watching the movie, “Woman Thou Are Loosed,” I was overpowered by the thought provoking messages contained in this movie. In the story, at the age of 12, the main character is abused by her mother’s boyfriend and she carries that anger with her for years. This one event transformed not only her life, but also the lives of everyone involved. The mother’s unresolved issues and emotional baggage further worsened the already negative impact of the abusive event; thus, rendering the mother unable to respond to the situation effectively or appropriately. By the movie’s end, lives were totally destroyed; mental and spiritual resiliency came much too late. This movie makes one wonder just how many of us are allowing past events to hold our potential, our possibilities, our aspirations, and our attitudes hostage.

The color of every person’s world comes from his or her personal beliefs. Our beliefs are shaped by our thoughts, which are continuously impacted and formed by our experiences. The experiences each of us faces are a unique blend of moments of sheer happiness and others that require us to muster every grain of persistence and courage within our core.

While we may be able to survive in those trying times, how many of us completely heal the mental and spiritual scars caused by these situations? How many of us are actually able to get over them, no longer allowing the memories to haunt us? I dare say that some of us remain stuck reliving these challenging times over and over again, never finding it possible to learn from the situation and move on.

Many of us spend our entire lives thinking of ourselves as victims. Far too many of us never quit looking in the rear view mirror, only to rehash

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a list of what ifs. Too many of us cling to unresolved hurts, we repress our anger and we walk around filled with dangerous levels of stress. Stress and anger have been linked to a host of illnesses, particularly the activation of cancer cells that sleep in our bodies waiting to respond to a host of igniting factors. Failing to completely unload our negative baggage is dangerous and unhealthy on a number of levels.

Each of us must find a way to bring closure to the past so that we can live fully and blissfully in the present. Even though people, both family and friends, hurt our feelings, sometime mistreat us, break promises or fail to meet our expectations, for your own sanity and well-being, finding a way to close those chapters is necessary. Finding a way to accept yourself and your past and still flourish in your life is a must.

Getting over it may require talking to a mental health professional. If that is what it takes, do it.

Do not let false pride keep you from seeking the help you need. If you had any other type of pain, you would not hesitate to seek relief. Getting mental and spiritual nourishment is the foundation that nurtures goodness in all areas of your life. So as much comfort as you give to others, give the same to yourself.

Getting over it may mean finally releasing your tears, having a frank talk with someone, or making positive changes in yourself. Whatever it takes, find a way to get over whatever it may be that is troubling you once and for all.

No matter what it takes, identifying mental and spiritual obstacles that are holding you back is an important step in beginning to reinvigorate your life. Left unchecked, scars from the past will only fester, and in the end can lead to even more pain than the original problem itself. Refuse to be held hostage by your past, and refuse to waste your time dwelling on it or believing that this event dictates how your future will be.

The events of our lives are meant to shape us into the person that divinely we were meant to be; our experiences are designed to prepare us for the assignments we were given the gift of life to complete. Regardless of what you faced in your past, or what you are facing right now, you can get over it and you can go on to thrive.

We all may have moments of poignant…

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1 Timothy 2:15 But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety. (KJV)

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First - DO NOT PANIC! DO NOT FEAR! (1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.)

God's perfect love is operating in you and so there is no need to be afraid. Your body knows what to do and so does the baby. You literally just have to go with the flow, anything else causes you and the baby problems.

Even before you get pregnant you need to prepare yourself for motherhood. Rather than consume every conversation floating on the wind about how hard it is to deal with morning sickness, getting fat, delivery, make a decision to design your own pregnancy experience.

Get around women who have a more positive view of pregnancy and the experience.

Second - IT REALLY IS NOT PAIN! It's only Pressure! You have handled pressure before...This is just pressure at its max.

Pressure is your friend. Do not push it away.

Welcome every pressure as you would your husband after a long trip away. They are the signal that your baby is almost here and it will soon be time to push. Think of them as waves. So just ride them and get to the other side.

Third - NO SCREAMING ALLOWED! You wasting precious air that you need to push and your baby needs it too.

Fourth - DON’T FORGET TO BREATHE! One breath at a time.

This is a good practice pregnant or not. When you are feeling overwhelmed take a few minutes to listen to yourself breathe in out in out. When you can recognize that the very breathe you have is an abundant gift of God and beyond your ability, then you can trust in that same God to see you through the journey.

marriage is incredible! Celebrating and watching your body change and grow a new life is indescribable and a blessing. Participating in bringing new life into the world is a gift. It truly reflects the completion of the creative process as God designed it.

The lessons learned during pregnancy and labor is a pattern that you will see and use over and over throughout your life. It is a great time to take the class and pass with flying colors. You will certainly see it again as you pursue your dreams, growing your family and fulfilling God’s purpose for you and your children.

Enjoy for it is over too soon.

Seventh - PRAY ALWAYS! Judges 13:12 And Manoah said, Now let thy words come to pass. How shall we order the child, and how shall we do unto him?

There is a great need for society to return to the ways set out in the word of God and seek God’s direction about raising children. Manoah and his wife were told they would have a son and he should be a Nazarite, who was called Samson.

Just as his parents sought God’s method of bringing him up, so should you.

The Holy Spirit knows everything you need to know about being a great parent. He will teach you what you need to know. Whether it is changing your diet, exercise, how to handle the lack of sleep and constant demands of a new baby. God can and will help you. Prayer must be your first point of reference. Keep God in all you do. Surrender even your own fears and challenges and allow Him to make you the mother you want to be.

Fifth - PUSH! Shut your mouth and handle your business. You were made for this. Since the beginning of time women have given birth. Now its your turn.

Eighth - Babies can never get too much cuddling!

Many people believe that you shouldn’t hold your baby too much but considering they spent 40 weeks inside of you, right under your heart, you will never top that feeling and experience.

Learn to respond when your baby cries. As you respond it will become easier to tell whether it is a need to for comfort, for food, a clean diaper, or to help get rid of gas. You will only learn your baby by being with them. It is also a time to learn about yourself, as babies are wonderful teachers.

Sixth - ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT! What could possibly be enjoyable about pregnancy and childbirth? Everything. The process of conception within the bonds of a God-ordained

There are great experiences ahead for you on this new journey, even if this is your sixth child.

God is with you and the remember the joy of the Lord is your strength.

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A

s a single mother, Isaiah 54 has brought me great comfort in the

good days and the bad. It is the promise that I hope you will grab a hold of as you raise your little ones. When you can take God at His word, then you realize you are not single at all. You have a mighty God who has promised to be your husband and the father of your children.

Many men have a problem with a woman saying that God is their husband but He says He is and there is none better. A husband is a provider and protector and God is all of that and so much more. He is also the healer you need when your children fall sick and there is no money to pay the doctor or to buy medicine.

He is the friend when all of yours have abandoned you because of your “failure.” He is the dream giver and the dream answerer. He is the one who says think big and enlarge your expectations. Just because you are a single mother doesn’t mean this is the end of the world. I am with you and all of your needs I will supply.

He says do not hang your head in shame (v.4) and don’t be stressed or worried about the situation you are in. I don’t remember it, you are mine.

Are you concerned about your child not doing well in school or the fact that their father does not acknowledge them? Don’t be. I am their father and I will teach them, says your God. Yes I know the psychologists and the preachers all agree that fathers are necessary for raising balanced children, but in the absence of an earthly father, I am here. Great will be their peace. You do not have to fear you will lose them to drugs and violence, I will preserve them, says your God. I know the circumstances that created this life is not the one you planned but do not live with it

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hanging around your neck like a stone. Do not regard what people say. Nothing they say or do will manifest in your life. They are not powerful. I am your God. Please claim these precious promises as yours.

Isaiah 54 - 1Sing, O barren, thou that didst not bear; break forth into singing, and cry aloud, thou that didst not travail with child: for more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married wife, saith the LORD. 2Enlarge the place of thy tent, and let them stretch forth the curtains of thine habitations: spare not, lengthen thy cords, and strengthen thy stakes; 3For thou shalt break forth on the right hand and on the left; and thy seed shall inherit the Gentiles, and make the desolate cities to be inhabited. 4Fear not; for thou shalt not be ashamed: neither be thou confounded; for thou shalt not be put to shame: for thou shalt forget the shame of thy youth, and shalt not remember the reproach of thy widowhood any more. 5For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called. 6For the LORD hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou wast refused, saith thy God. 7For a small moment have I forsaken thee; but with great mercies will I gather thee. 8In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for visit trulycaribbean.net

a moment; but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the LORD thy Redeemer. 9For this is as the waters of Noah unto me: for as I have sworn that the waters of Noah should no more go over the earth; so have I sworn that I would not be wroth with thee, nor rebuke thee. 10For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the LORD that hath mercy on thee. 11O thou afflicted, tossed with tempest, and not comforted, behold, I will lay thy stones with fair colours, and lay thy foundations with sapphires. 12And I will make thy windows of agates, and thy gates of carbuncles, and all thy borders of pleasant stones. 13And all thy children shall be taught of the LORD; and

great shall be the peace of thy children. 14In righteousness shalt thou be established: thou shalt be far from oppression; for thou shalt not fear: and from terror; for it shall not come near thee.

15Behold, they shall surely gather together, but not by me: whosoever shall gather together against thee shall fall for thy sake. 16Behold, I have created the smith that bloweth the coals in the fire, and that bringeth forth an instrument for his work; and I have created the waster to destroy. 17No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of me, saith the LORD.

Letting Go of the Past Cont’d from pg. 17

The array of choices we make over time form to follow our habits. The habits we embrace either unlock the doorway to personal greatness or unleash the lingering demons within our spirits. Habits are those intimate friends we hold dear, those behaviors that come naturally whenever a certain situation presents itself to us. But too often we forget that a genuine friend is someone who desires and encourages the best for you, not someone who makes you feel incompetent and inapt. The self-limiting habits that are impeding your progress, impacting your level of contentment, and bringing clouds of drama into your life indeed are not your friends.

So the choice becomes, will you allow yourself to get lifted in 2009, that is LETTING, INSPIRATION, FUEL, THOUGHTS, EARNESTLY, DAILY. Will you choose to take actions that elevate your thinking and transform your life? Will you decide to allow purpose and the creation of heartfelt goals to order your steps?

For in the end, there are four kinds of people, cop-outs, people who simply do not try; drop-outs, people who give up at the first sign of a challenge; hold- outs, people who refuse to give their all to anything; and all-outs, people who understand that purpose, passion and persistence are the keys to personal power.

Work to discover what it takes to fuel your liftoff each day. Guard and select carefully the spiritual fuel that ignites your being, for your life depends upon it. Journey to discover the U in YOU!!! Get Lifted and Let in Shine “for true” in 2009 !

... sadness, but there are also three pivotal elements fueling our spirituality, our perceived state of being: these are thoughts, choice and habits.

Everything first begins as a thought, and thoughts ultimately manifest themselves into words and deeds. All discoveries, inventions, actions, both good and bad, flow from a thought that dominates someone’s mind. Too often, for too much of each and every day, some of us suffer from “stinking thinking,” that is we dwell in the valley of negativity; we are overwrought by deception, pessimism and hopelessness. When this occurs, this mindset begins to color our entire belief system, the way we approach life, in time how we view our potential for happiness and personal fulfillment. Until someone suffering from such a mental drought decides to replenish their “thought well,” he or she will be inclined to spend a considerable amount of time being stuck, exemplifying a negative force where they journey.

The nature of our thoughts colors the texture of our choices. One of the birth gifts we are given is the power of choice, and for some of us that is not a good thing. Some of us have allowed past failures, environmental conditioning, toxic nurturing, family dysfunctions, societal biases and low expectations to dominate the choices we make. When we allow fleeting external factors to govern our internal thermostat, the worth of our choices is compromised. Once we make a choice to focus on our passions, our heartfelt dreams, the treasure chest of gifts and talents uniquely ours, we become divinely unstoppable.

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Pampered & Empowered in Cayman Women attending the Me in My Life Seminar at the South Sound Community Centre in early December indulged in a weekend of pampering and motivation.

The opening on Friday evening, 5 December, involved a happy hour session that included a round table discussion with the featured speakers – organizational expert and life coach Dr. Anita Davis–DeFoe, and motivational speaker Nerissa Golden.

Dr. DeFoe asked several key questions that left all the women in the room with their hands up.

She said when people go through life not taking care of themselves and not valuing their own abilities they are walking with their hands up being uncomfortable, in pain and incapable of fulfilling their dreams.

At Saturday’s session, retreat organizer Catherine Tyson began the morning by encouraging women to honor themselves and take time out for that special woman in the mirror.

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She used cards that gave each woman a self– love assignment for the coming week to reinforce this concept.

Ms Golden provided strategies for “Pursuing Good Love”, from her upcoming book that involves a woman preparing herself for the love of her life with first loving and accepting herself and having something to offer her potential mate.

There were three breakout sessions, led by each speaker that allowed the women to choose the one they wanted to attend and were whisked away to the private areas provided for just that.

Dr. DeFoe talked about the “Seven Keys to Soulful Living”, from her book, and discussed how to become a woman of destiny and unleashing the greatness within. The women in this group enjoyed a time of laughter and energy that lifted the morale to soaring levels.

Ms Golden led the group on Women and Money and discussed the importance of how a woman... visit trulycaribbean.net

...needs to take care of her finances as she plans ahead for her future.

Ms Tyson led her group through a forgiveness session that involved introspection and choosing to let go of hurts that are holding back the individual.

A panel of men explained that although males will always be prone to look at other women, maturity and a commitment to their woman is what keeps them from straying.

Moderated by Ms Tyson, economist Francis Arana, facilities manager Thomas Ebanks, and specialist Dr. Clarence Charles fielded questions in the afternoon from the women in relation to sex, the need for more communication and unfulfilled expectations and were very candid in their responses so each of the sexes walked away feeling relieved that, in fact, no one was actually crazy.

To top off the day, pampering stations were set up for pedicures and manicures, facials and makeovers, including hair styling from Alyssa’s Beauty center, and massage beds were in place to relieve stress.

“This day far surpassed my expectations, it was much more that I ever expected and I am so

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glad to have been a part of it. It was simply just amazing,” said Denise Tibbitts.

D e b b i e Rankine wondered how they would be kept busy but exclaimed at 3pm that the day had flown by.

“I am glad that I took this day for myself and I thoroughly enjoyed it” said Christy McKenzie of Apex Video Solutions.

For information on upcoming events contact Catherine Tyson at www.somebodysmama.com and look out for her first book entitled I’m Somebody’s Mama, due in early 2009.

Photos: Women listen to a speaker during the Saturday session of the retreat (left). Nurse Pfrench, Catherine Tyson and Adonza Harrison pose for the cameras (above). Other events included discounted tickets to hear the fabulous Anita Baker during the Cayman Jazz Fest, an island tour on Sunday (below), facials pedicures and massages (inset).

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