Dear Frida

DEAR FRIDA

Dear Frida

Johanne Helga Heiberg Johansen

URO publishing

Dear Frida - A letter exchange story © 2015 Text and drawings by Johanne Helga Heiberg Johansen Editing by Shekufe Tadayoni Heiberg 1. edition, 1. print Published by URO Small Print Publishing Printed in Denmark 2015 The cut-up letters are created out of pieces from Frida Kahlos letters, as published in ”Frida by Frida - Letters”, by Raquel Tibol, Editorial RM (2006)

Dear Frida Kahlo I’m your biggest fan.

I wrote to tell you that I love you.

I love love love your work and your story.

- Your personality, you’re such a survivor, so strong. I think I admire you cause you’re all that I’m not. So gifted, so hardworking, so independent.

You’ve been on my mind a lot lately. Art is supposed to be my life, my work. But I’m not doing anything.

If only I had more time I think I’d be working. But there are so many things I have to do, so many needs I must attend to. None of it seems to get me anywhere - while looking at your work does.

You painted so many self-portraits, I guess I do the same; I use myself in the few things I’ve drawn.

Frida, do you know how precious you are to me? I’d like us to share our thoughts; I’d like us to be friends.

Your admirer – J

Dear Frida You are so amazingly beautiful, the way you carry yourself like a queen. How do you do it?

I don’t know if you know, but there ARE thousands of books written about you. I have a large collection, it’s a bit of an obsession I guess.

I can only dream of you noticing my letters.

Your biggest fan -J

Dear Frida I can’t believe that you actually wrote me a letter.

It’s so exiting. I’m so grateful and it’s beyond my wildest imagination that my letter meant something to you. And that you even want to be friends. That word means a lot to me. I honestly don’t have many.

I could think of a thousand questions to ask you.

How are things where you are, is it alright? I’m curious to know what it’s like to be dead.

I hope you aren’t feeling any pain now?

And tell me, is Diego not with you?

I hope I’ll receive another one, it would mean the world to me.

Your - J

Dear Frida You can’t possibly understand how much it meant to me to read your words!

You ask me how I am, and to be honest Frida, my mind is bursting with troubled feelings, navigating in the field between being mom and artist...

It’s actually one of the reasons I wrote you. I think you can give me some strength! And though you’re not in my place and never were, I think you’ll understand.

I’m so sorry to hear death didn’t take the pain away and that your illness is still haunting you. I hope you’e getting better.

It’s not that I haven’t thought about it, going there, but that was a long time ago and you know my situation is very different now; I have a family.

You say you want to forget your life! I know everything was - and still is – hard. But you never made me doubt that it was worth it!

I hope you’ll get well soon.. I can’t believe you of all people is doubting your worth, you know you’re one of the greatest artists ever!

Yours - J

Dear Frida No, I can’t imagine how things are any different - tell me more about it!!

It’s alright, you don’t have to explain or answer all my intruding questions... sorry.

But I think you’re right, the maneuvering is difficult for me, I need to work on a way to figure it out!

I was looking at pictures of you. You are so gorgeous, Frida. My hair is a mess, I look at myself in the mirror and I look ugly.

I don’t wanna care about it but I can’t help it. I guess it’s what this world does to a girl, we’re supposed to be pretty all the time, it’s making me sick! but I contribute, participate... Only when I’m alone I let it be (which I am most of the time these days).

Maybe I should try to put it up like you do with flowers and ribbons.

In a week it’s my birthday, so besides being ugly, I’m also getting old.

I’ve seen all your paintings.. but Frida dear, I want more!

Tell me something nobody knows... I want to be closer to you than anyone alive!

Dear Frida You made me so incredibly happy when I received your beautiful gift!

So sweet of you to pamper me like that. You made me feel better, I can’t thank you enough.

I hope the black world is a very beautiful place and that you’re having a good time. I wish we could go out and drink and dance together!

I do love our written friendship though. I wouldn’t know what to do without your words!

My dear friend Frida I wish I could see some of your paintings? I wish I were painting! Or just doing something besides housekeeping!!

I’m really having a dry spell. It’s frustrating, I don’t have a minute and when I do I can’t think straight.

I can’t work!

Why is it so hard?

I’m in such an exhausting period of my life.

I don’t feel like myself anymore... everything is controlled by someone else.

I miss being me, and just me - but I wouldn’t change it for a thing! I never felt more divided.

I need some company and I need to talk about things, things that matter like love and art.

Dearest Frida Thank you so much for sending me that comforting letter. I’m happy you like the photograph, to be honest I was a little afraid I would upset you.

Frida, I’m so tired of not working, I feel worthless.

Maybe I’m not even ment to be an artist since I find it this hard.

Maybe I should just be satisfied, being a full-time mom.

Or maybe you could inspire me, help me find the pleasure in working. You could send me a sketch of yours for instance. I’m sure it’s the only thing that could make me draw again.

I would so love to have one of your works.

Frida, you’re my best friend!

Dear Frida darling.

I love the drawing you sent me. I can’t believe I got one of your drawings.

I’ll hang it by my desk so it’ll remind me of what it’s all about and if any one asks I promise I won’t say it’s yours.

I’ll keep it safe and secret.

And you’re right. I’m not an artist if I don’t work!

So now I’m forcing myself to draw whenever I have just a minute, it’s no good but it’s a start.

It feels good to be working, although I can tell I’m out of practice.

I’m feeling better about myself, I guess, Frida, I even painted my nails!!

Still I’m afraid the drawings are all a reflection on motherhood. I don’t want my work to get influenced by it!

All my love - J (doodling!)

Dear F It’s raining and I’m alone. I’m not sad, I’m working - very slowly, but working. And everything’s good!

I was looking at your paintings for hours, they never cease to interest me, I guess they’ve captured me since I saw one of them for the first time.

My mother had some of your prints in her closet, she wouldn’t let me look at them.. she always tried to protect me from nightmares.

I hope you know how important you are here, still.. or more than ever.

You’re the strongest woman I know. I admire you.

Yours truly - J

Dearest Frida It made me very sad to read your letter, I thought things were working out, I thought you were working too.

You asked me what I think and you know I’ve had similar problems.

I think the place where you are now is a strange place and it might seem absurd to be painting.

You could try not to paint for a while, not worrying too much about it.

Let yourself do other stuff. Bake a cake. Or go for a long walk.

Think about your accomplishments.

I have no good answers. But I can assure you, it will get better!

I send good thoughts and love.

-J

Frida!

Good to hear from you and I’m so honored that you’d make a drawing like that of me.

I’ll send you a sketch as well, it’s from my new project.

Give me your honest opinion!

Dear Frida, my icon Thanks for your letter, I am so so busy! I work all the time at the moment, and when I don’t I’m with the kids.

Say hello to Diego for me, will you?

Your sincerest friend J