UNSEXY COSTUMES TO AVOID By Patrick Hoff Collegian Staff
As many college students know, and as Cady Heron explained in “Mean Girls,” “Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.” Classic “sexy” costumes include sexy nurse, sexy maid and sexy devil or angel. It is, however, possible to take it too far. Earlier this month while surfing the web, I stumbled upon a pair of costumes called “Sexy Ernie and Bert,” meant for two females who are fans of children’s television programming but somehow feel it needs a more provocative edge. After recovering from my initial shock and anger over this atrocity (Ernie is my favorite television puppet),
I began to think about what other “unsexy” costumes there may be – costumes that should never be “sexy” but for some inexplicable reason have taken on that characteristic. A quick Google search turned up a Cracked article with 26 costumes of that exact specification. Highlights included Sexy Nemo, Sexy Darth Vader, Sexy Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, Sexy Hermione Granger (which is redundant if you ask me), Sexy Big Bird, Sexy Pregnant Raggedy Ann (which raises many questions that deserve their own article) and Sexy Small Child. As I scrolled through the list, I noticed a pattern: these unsexy costumes seemed to focus around children’s entertainment, which is of course logical since these characters are meant to be enjoyed by children and not by those look-
JUSTIN SURGENT/COLLEGIAN
Collegian News Editor Patrick Hoff dressed as “Sexy Mr. Rogers.” ing to show off their bodies in an alluring way. With that in mind, I began to craft my own list of unsexy Halloween costumes. Initially I tried to stay away from children’s television and films for
a variety of reasons – primarily that I did not want someone to pick up my list and think I had a strange ulterior motive. Sexy foods came to mind first see
UNSEXY on page a2
The very best Halloween brews By Emily a. BrigHtman Collegian Staff
The weeks leading up to Halloween are always my favorite of the year, and not only because they mark the one time I can get away with being a certifiable weirdo. October and November herald the release of all manner of strange and exotic beers, from corporate and independent breweries alike. In honor of the year’s spookiest holiday, this season also brings with it the release of Halloweenthemed beers that tantalize both the palette and the festive proclivity for the dark and deranged. Amid the surplus of pumpkin beer that floods the liquor store shelves at this time of year are the occasional dark horse seasonal beers that drift away from the pumpkin frenzy and instead cater to the creepy spirit of Halloween. Here are a few of my favorite Halloween
brews to help you get into to this beer is its price. Brewed in Tecate, Mexico, the spirit of the season. at the third largest brewery in the country, Day of the Cerveza de los Muertos Dead doesn’t come cheap: If you think Mexican a six-pack runs about $12 beer begins and ends with at the right liquor store. In Dos Equis, think again. the spirit of all things dead Cerveza de los Muertos, and creepy, however, the otherwise known as “Day members of the Day of the of the Dead” beer, has been Dead family are all worth a creeping onto American taste for their south of the craft beer shelves and border sensibilities. And, making a bold statement if you’re on board with the with its vibrant packaging sugar skull fad, this brewand cagey names like Pay ing company’s packaging is the Ferryman Porter and right up your alley. Death Becomes You Amber Ale. My tastes drove me WychCraft English Pale Ale towards the Hop On or Die The Wychwood Brewery, IPA, a surprisingly wellbalanced English-style IPA located deep in the heart of that was neither too heavy Oxfordshire in the United on hoppy bitterness nor Kingdom, is best known for overly watery. Though its Hobgoblin Dark English aroma was heavily floral Ale, the staple of its craft and the carbonation con- selection. Wychcraft is a siderable, the beer itself newer beer in its catalog was surprisingly flavorful but comes in the ornate and left a pleasant after- packaging characteristic taste reminiscent of stron- of the Wychwood brand. This delicate English ale is ger hops. The only downside worth purchasing simply
for the brief but spooky story printed on its label, a perfect complement to a night spent howling at the full moon or otherwise indulging in eerie activities. Pouring out a soft golden color with an effervescent white head, WychCraft is not terribly heavy on hoppy taste, but the carbonation in the body makes for a pleasant drinking experience and gives it a consistency similar to sparkling cider. Nonetheless, this beer is an enjoyably lighter fare than its heavier ale counterparts. If you lean toward maltier complexities, Hobgoblin is another substantially tasty brew made in straight English brewing style. Alesmith Evil Dead Red Ale Being a die-hard fan of the Evil Dead trilogy (and the recent remake, to an extent), I was drawn to this see
BEER on page a2
Illustration by James Desjardin