Massachusetts Daily Collegian: Feb. 6, 2014

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Thursday, February 6, 2014

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IN THIS ISSUE Minutewomen raise the bar

After its best season in nearly 20 years, UMass women’s lacrosse seeks greater success in 2014 A2

Constructing his role Ryan Izzo looks to make UMass men’s lacrosse contenders as co-captain

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Back to form Kelsey McGovern returns from ACL surgery to help lead the Minutewomen

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Minutemen start 2014 Oliveri looks to improve

as rare underdogs UM went 7-8 in 2013 campaign

By Andrew Cyr

I

Collegian Staff

t’s been a while since the Massachusetts men’s lacrosse team has been an afterthought in the Colonial Athletic Conference and the NCAA. But coming off their first losing season since 2008, the Minutemen enter 2014 unranked in the NCAA national rankings, and predicted to finished fourth in the CAA preseason coaches poll.

The departures of Kyle Smith and Will Manny, the team’s top two scorers from a season ago, don’t help the cause either.

“This is the first time in a long time we’re going to be the underdog in almost every game we play,” said UMass coach Greg Cannella, who is returning for his 20th season in Amherst. “But sometimes the underdog role is a good place to be in.”

In fact, the underdog role is something the Minutemen embrace.

And with their sights set on bouncing back from a disappointing season, preseason polls are the least of their concerns.

“We don’t really care where the media puts us,” face-off specialist and midfielder Joe Calvello said. “All that matters is what we do on the field.

Whether it’s in practice or in games, what’s going to matter is how we play this season.”

Calvello is one of three Minutemen selected to the preseason all-conference team. Although the midfielder only accounted for three points all of last season, it was his impressive 58 percent success rate in faceoffs that has opened eyes around the conference.

Also returning back for UMass are attackmen Grant Whiteway and Connor Mooney.

Both players reached the 20-goal mark last season – Whiteway netted 26 goals and six assists, while Mooney scored 22 to go along with his seven assists.

Mooney and redshirt sophomore goalkeeper Zach Oliveri joined Calvello on the CAA preseason allconference team. Oliveri recorded 157 saves last season, posting a .559 save percentage and allowing just 8.63 goals per game.

“Joe’s awesome in the face-off game; Connor’s an excellent player – he can really play anywhere for us, attack, midfield – he’s done a good job defensively as well,” Cannella said. “It’s Zach’s third year now, and you hope that with all his time and effort he continues to be more consistent.”

The Minutemen welcome in 15 freshmen this season. Grant Consoletti and Nick Mariano are two attackers that have caught the attention of both coach-

es and other players and are expected to play a big role in the offensive game.

But with only five seniors and 26 underclassmen, the returning veterans know just how hard it is to make the jump to Division I lacrosse.

“We are a really tight knit group,” Mooney said.

“We do a lot of stuff as a team and the younger guys have done an excellent job of buying into what the older guys have been preaching to them. We want everyone on the team to feel like they have their own role in our success.”

Returning back to the midfield are Ryan Izzo and Matt Whippen. After tearing his ACL earlier in his career, Izzo has emerged as one of the top short stick defensive midfielders in the CAA. “(The upperclassmen) have done an excellent job of making sure everyone else is involved, making sure everyone’s together,” Cannella said. “When someone falls out you have to have someone right there to bring them back in and these guys have done an excellent job of that.”

At the beginning of each season the team sets goals about where they envision themselves in May. While the Minutemen always set the bar high for themselves, they are more interested in the work it’s going to take to get there.

Andrew Cyr can be reached at arcyr@umass.edu.

from solid rookie season

Sophomore goalie expected to start

By Peter CAPPiello Collegian Staff

It was an accidental epiphany. Zach Oliveri, redshirt sophomore for the Massachusetts men’s lacrosse team, was looking through the DVR in his Ronkonkoma, N.Y., home in June, when he found last year’s game against Hofstra, a 9-8 win on April 20.

The goalkeeper is academically a junior, but has two more seasons of eligibility after this year’s campaign due to redshirting his true freshman year. Still, he became introspective watching the old matchup, hyper-aware that his college lacrosse days are numbered.

Oliveri, entering his second season as a starter, turned that sense of urgency into newfound maturity and composure.

Both traits periodically gave way to inexperience and high emotion last year, leading to early exits in five games.

“Once I realized the real world’s coming – you can’t let anything slip away,” Oliveri said. “You don’t want any regrets and you’ve got to learn how to be consistent.”

The 5-foot-9, 200-pounder’s new modus operandi is that proper preparation will

bring success. He’s also weaned himself off longstanding rituals and superstitions in an effort to focus his mind before taking the field.

UMass coach Greg Cannella thinks dropping superstitious tendencies is “healthy,” but said the key for Oliveri is confidence in his play and leadership abilities.

Cannella said the “conversations” all his players have within their own heads have to be positive, but added that the stakes are amplified for goalies.

“He realizes if he wants to make his own mark, he has to push his own limits,” Cannella said. “Two of the best proponents for that are (assistant coach Doc Schneider) and Reed Goodhue, who’s been pushing him every day.”

Schneider (UMass Class of 2009), a former four-year starting goalie for Cannella, is charged with coaching the defense, including the goaltenders. As a college freshman, he coached Oliveri on the North Shore Rage, a travel team based out of Long Island, N.Y. Although the pair’s f amiliarity doesn’t change Schneider’s expectations or intensity in a mentoring role, he admitted it’s special to coach a player for so long.

“To see the young

goalie, who used to wear Rec Specs under his helmet, to what he is now, it’s a pretty cool development,” he said with a smile. “When we’d have early morning games in the summer, they’d sometimes fog up from that change in temperature. That’s our joke together.”

Schneider noticed a difference in Oliveri this year when he reported to fall and winter training sessions in game-ready physical shape. The goalie had improved the most in cardio – a strength Schneider said is valuable in net, despite popular belief.

Oliveri has also sharpened up his poise. He works to not allow himself to “dig a hole” and compact problems when he surrenders goals.

“This year, even our scrimmages – against St. John’s, he didn’t start off great, but then he came back and played really well,” Schneider said.

“He knows that’s the player he has been the last three weeks.”

Goodhue, a senior goalie, said Oliveri’s confidence spreads throughout the field when he performs well in net.

The two are friendly competitors in practice, but Goodhue makes sure to pass down lessons he learned from former UMass All-American see

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WO M E N ’ S L AC RO S S E

RAISED EXPECTATIONS

CADE BELISLE/COLLEGIAN FILE PHOTO

The UMass women’s lacrosse team expects to celebrate its sixth consecutive Atlantic 10 championship by season’s end.

Minutewomen seek greater success

By Jesse Mayfield-sheehan

best offense in the country (14.76 goals per game) and Coming off its best sea- the ninth-best defense (8.24 son in almost two decades, goals allowed per game), and the Massachusetts women’s has most of last year’s roster lacrosse team hopes to go returning after losing just even further in 2014.

Last year, the Minutewomen went 15-2 in the regular season, including a perfect 7-0 in conference play. They won their fifth straight Atlantic 10 championship and defeated Connecticut in the first round of the NCAA Tournament for the first time since 1984, before being knocked out by Penn State the next game.

Senior attackman Katie Ferris said that while the team is taking things one step at a time, the ultimate goal is to surpass the results of last season.

“It’s usually every team’s goal to get further than they got to the year before,” she said. “But definitely getting that sixth A-10 championship, that’s first on our to-do list.”

The Minutewomen are expected to win that sixth conference championship in the A-10 preseason poll. four players to graduation.

UMass should be chalThey’re also ranked No. 13 in the nation in the IWLCA lenged with a tough nonconference schedule, startcoaches’ poll.

UMass was strong in ing with Vanderbilt, a memall facets of the game last ber of the tough American year, finishing with the fifth- Lacrosse Conference, folCollegian Staff

UMass has gone undefeated in conference play in each of the past three seasons, but McMahon said the team still needs to be wary of its conference opponents after close games last year against Richmond, George Washington and Temple.

“We have to expect and know that we are going to get every single team’s best effort and best game because we have done well and have that target on our backs,” she said.

The Minutewomen’s season starts on Feb. 9 in Nashville, Tenn., for their opening game against Vanderbilt.

Ferris said that first game is critical to setting up the team for a successful season.

“I think our greatest challenge is going to be the first game we have,” she said. “I feel like if we do bad during that game, then it’s just going to set a bad tone for the whole entire Northwestern. season. If we do good, then “Each one of those it’ll be a good tone for the games is absolutely critical whole entire season.” to us in terms of looking at the big picture of every- Jesse Mayfield-Sheehan can be thing,” UMass coach Angela reached at jmayfiel@umass.edu and can be followed on Twitter @jgms88.

McMahon said. lowed up with a rematch against UConn and the two teams that handed the Minutewomen their two regular season losses last year: Boston University and

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goalie Tim McCormack.

It’s also his responsibility to let Oliveri know that his job isn’t “set in stone.”

The captain’s latest advice to the young goalie was simple: avoid extremes, good or bad, when the game is on the line.

“A lot of stress and anxiety can build up,” Goodhue warned from a place of experience.

He’s been invaluable for Oliveri, who often seeks advice on the position’s nuances. “You’ve got to be able to handle when shots go in, but also handle when you make a lot of big saves. Not too high, not too low.”

Oliveri knows that he has to sustain that effort in practice instead of “walking” through it, something he was guilty of by his own admission,

“I learned to control my emotions and channel them. I had the right idea, it’s just that now, you have to apply.”

UMass goalkeeper Zach Oliveri while expecting to excel on game day. He’s not taking any minute for granted.

“I just learned a lot about myself as a person and how I handle things,” Oliveri said. “I learned to control my emotions and channel them. I had the right idea, it’s just that now, you have to apply it.”

Peter Cappiello can be reached at pcappiel@umass.edu and followed on Twitter @petecapps.

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Greg Cannella: 20 years of success

WO M E N ’ S L AC RO S S E

Eight seniors prepared to lead Minutewomen in ‘14 UM returns leading scorer Katie Ferris

By Jesse Mayfield-sheehan Collegian Staff

The Massachusetts women’s lacrosse team had its best season in nearly 20 years in 2013, and will have most of its core back in the lineup for one last season.

The Minutewomen have eight seniors on their 2014 roster, and will rely on those veterans to once again be their top performers.

Among those seniors are players like Sam Rush, who led the team last year with 65 goals, Kelsey McGovern, a key part of the team’s defense and the primary draw specialist, and Katie Ferris, who led the team in points last year with 75 and holds the team’s alltime record for points with 245 through her first three years.

“This senior class has sort of been the backbone of our team for a while now,” UMass coach Angela McMahon said. “The experience and passion for the game that they bring to the team each and every day just makes my job so much easier.”

Ferris said she and the other seniors are extra motivated to go further than ever this season, as it will be their last with the Minutewomen. This is the arguably the perfect team to make a memorable run, she said.

“I feel like we do have the team that can go the distance,” she said. “We’ve

CADE BELISLE/COLLEGIAN FILE PHOTO

Sam Rush is one of eight seniors returning to UMass this season. really been focusing on all the little things we need to do, what we need to do to get better and how we can teach the younger girls.”

However, with the team set to lose a number of key players at the end of the season, a group that accounted for 162 of the team’s 310 goals last year, could this be UMass’ last best chance at a national championship?

McMahon doesn’t think so.

“We don’t really think that far ahead,” she said.

“At this point, we’re just focused right now on Vanderbilt, who’s our first opponent.”

With 20 underclassmen on the roster, including nine incoming freshmen, McMahon expects contributions from more than just her veteran players.

“I think we’re definitely

going to have some younger players stepping up,” she said. “We have some sophomores that were starting to get some good quality minutes last year, and I think that has carried over to this season in terms of their confidence level and feeling comfortable on the field with the older girls.”

Ferris also believes that the current underclassmen will do fine taking over for her and her fellow seniors after they graduate at the end of the season.

“I think they’ll do great still,” she said. “I know I’ve put a lot of my time into helping them out and teaching them and showing them what it takes.”

Jesse Mayfield-Sheehan can be reached at jmayfiel@umass.edu and can be followed on Twitter @jgms88.

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M E N ’ S L AC RO S S E

‘I always expect to finish first’

CADE BELISLE/COLLEGIAN FILE PHOTO

Ryan Izzo is set to lead UMass men’s lacrosse as a co-captain this season.

Izzo hopes to bring UMass back to glory

By Peter CaPPiello

Collegian Staff

R

yan Izzo ran a toss sweep from the 23-yard line to the short side of the field against Weymouth on Thanksgiving Day, 2009. He cut back across the gridiron with five minutes to play, then broke a few tackles up the middle, bound for the right pylon.

Touchdown, 77 yards. It was the final play of his high school football career.

A senior fullback at Walpole High School, Izzo set the Massachusetts career points record at 722, and his 6,316 rushing yards were good for No. 2 in the record books. But he never received a Division I football offer. Izzo instead audibled to lacrosse, a sport he’s played since fourth grade. His first choice? The University of Massachusetts.

The junior earned New England Intercollegiate Lacrosse Association AllNew England and Colonial Athletic Association All-Conference honors with the Minutemen last year. He fought back from an anterior cruciate ligament tear his freshman preseason to anchor the short stick defensive midfield.

“Nothing has ever been given to me and that’s the way the program here is run at UMass,” Izzo said.

“We’ve preached that in the past couple years, the hard hat mentality. The guys really want to work hard.”

The hard hat isn’t just a metaphor for the 5-foot9, 185-pounder.

He’s worn one each of the last five summers working alongside his brother Adam, 33, who founded North Attleboro-based Izzo Construction.

Izzo said his competitiveness and belief that “nothing is impossible” are traits that “trickled down” to him from his brother.

The two were always close, but forged a stronger bond after their parents, Ron and Susan Sinclaire, separated when Ryan was 6.

“My brother’s been the inspiration in my life,” said Izzo, a building and construction technology major. “He’s always been the

one coming to my games, no matter where they are, back in high school, middle school. I couldn’t have asked for more in terms of how I wanted to grow up and who I wanted to strive to be.”

UMass coach Greg Cannella, entering his 20th season, named Izzo a captain to start the year. He called his player a self-motivated leader, who commands his teammates’ respect on

MARIA UMINSKI/COLLEGIAN

Ryan Izzo (3) picked up 52 ground balls and caused 10 turnovers last season. the field and in the gym.

Izzo (52 ground balls, 10 caused turnovers in 2013) bench presses 300 pounds, squats over 400 and holds the team record for the 300-meter sprint. He is working to claim the fastest time on the

Izzo also captained Walpole lacrosse to a DII State Championship in 2009. The AllAmerican had 38 goals and 16 assists that year, while winning more than 60 percent of face-offs taken.

ous injury is a case study in resiliency. He saw the recovery process firsthand as Izzo’s sophomore year roommate.

Both players were competing for starting minutes at their respective positions and became

400-meter next.

“Guys look at him and go, ‘Holy cow,’” Cannella said. “‘What do you say if that guy tells me to do something?’ You do it. He brings that kind of element to the team, that fire.”

Walpole football coach Barry Greener said Izzo always led by example as the Rebels’ captain.

His work ethic didn’t wane, even after winning a Division II Super Bowl in 2008.

“He had a lot of pride in what he did,” Greener said. “I can’t remember him ever taking a play off. Everything was 100 miles per hour. I wish I could get another one like him, but I’ll be long retired before someone like that shows up.”

Senior goaltender Reed Goodhue, a cocaptain for the Minutemen, said Izzo’s return to top athletic form following a seri-

close friends based on a similar “toughness” factor. They often discussed the workings of their team and what could be done differently to maximize success.

“It’s kind of funny,” Goodhue said. “Our discussions over the years, without knowing it, we’ve been preparing ourselves for this duty as captains.

We’re very intense players and want our team to strive for victory at all

times.”

The latter sentiment on chasing personal success translates to Izzo’s life away from lacrosse, whether it’s competing in the gym with Adam, who just started CrossFit training, or spending free time watching movies with Evangeline, his 4-year-old sister.

Izzo hopes to influence his youngest sister in the same way that Adam helped shape him. His immediate goal, however, is to recreate the success of his club’s breakout 2012 season, which saw a 15-1 overall mark.

“I took it with a grain of salt,” Izzo said of last year’s 7-8 finish. He admits the team underachieved, but said it puts UMass in a welcomed underdog role this season.

“When there’s a challenge, I always expect to finish first,” he said. “They can expect from me to give my 100 percent every day.”

Peter Cappiello can be reached at pcappiel@ umass.edu and followed on Twitter @petecapps.

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WO M E N ’ S L AC RO S S E

TAKING NOTHING FOR GRANTED

Kelsey McGovern aims for strong finish coming off ACL tear

By Anthony ChiusAno

H

Collegian Staff

andling draw controls for the Massachusetts women’s lacrosse team is nothing new for senior defender Kelsey McGovern.

However, heading into the first round of the last year’s NCAA Tournament against Connecticut, McGovern found herself facing off against more than just the Huskies’ draw control specialist. She was also battling a torn anterior cruciate ligament.

McGovern injured her knee in the Minutewomen’s regular season finale against Duquesne just two weeks prior to the game against UConn, forcing her to miss the Atlantic 10 Tournament, which UMass won for the fifth consecutive season.

Electing to delay surgery until after the season was over, McGovern returned to her starting position on defense against the Huskies, and was at her usual spot on the draw controls.

“I was just really excited to get back into a game and be back on the field with my teammates,” McGovern said. “My mindset was just to not think about my injury and to do the best that I could to try to be effective and help my team.”

McGovern almost played for the Huskies when current UMass coach Angela McMahon was at the helm, but opted to join the fourthyear coach in Amherst.

Given her familiarity with the team and the program, there was no way she was missing that game.

“Being that Katie [Ferris] and I came with Angela from UConn, it was exciting because we knew all their players and it was kind of a special game for us,” McGovern said.

McGovern finished the game with eight draw control wins, as the Minutewomen won 14-10 to advance to the second round of the tournament.

“It was just the will and motivation to help her team in any way, shape or form that she could,” McMahon said. “She knew that (draw control) was one specific thing that she could still do and do well. She stepped up and did it.”

Along with her continued effectiveness on face-offs, McMahon said the simple fact that McGovern was

CADE BELISLE/COLLEGIAN FILE PHOTO

Senior Kelsey McGovern is coming off of ACL surgery she suffered as a junior on the UMass women’s lacrosse team last season. even on the field “basically only on one knee” inspired the Minutewomen.

“I think it was just a huge moment for our team, where everyone just came together,” McMahon said. “We were playing to win, but we were also playing for her.

She deserved our best game as a team, and I think we helped give it to her.”

McMahon added that the team made it a point to protect McGovern, who took note of her teammates’ extra protection. She said they did a good job of boxing out for her and popping out for her passes, although playing on a torn ACL “was kind of a scary feeling.”

However, when asked if she had any regrets on coming back to play, McGovern’s answer was unwavering.

“No, not at all,” she said. “I would have done it again.”

The recovery Dealing with a torn ACL wasn’t an unfamiliar experience for McGovern. She suffered the same injury as a junior in high school, so she was comfortable with the

recovery process and knew her limits.

McGovern is almost seven months removed from surgery and appears to have gone through a smooth recovery period.

“I would say it was pretty smooth. But it was mentally difficult having to do

ing her strength, agility and fitness and playing as much lacrosse as she could which, obviously being in Massachusetts in December, is not always easy to find places to play,” McMahon said. “But she was constantly finding fields and indoor facilities and getting not

it again, knowing what I had to put myself through,” McGovern said. “The first time you go around, you tell yourself hopefully this will never happen to you again, but it did unfortunately.”

According to McMahon, McGovern has been “playing fantastic every day in practice” in large part because of her work during December.

“During the winter break, she was working every day toward improv-

only her teammates to come play with her but also girls she knows from other teams that might be from the New England area.

“She was really getting them on board to come play, which helped her then come here and really be able to practice full go,” she added.

Although she is satisfied with her progress in practice, McGovern said that she’s looking forward to the beginning of the regular season in order to truly test

her readiness.

“I wouldn’t say that I’m 100 percent yet, but I think once we start the season and I get into game situations, I’ll be able to start feeling more like 100 percent,” McGovern said.

Senior leadership With seven returning seniors this season, there is no scarcity of experience and leadership on UMass.

And McMahon thinks McGovern is one of the players who fit the role.

“She’s one of the best communicators on our team in terms of on-the-ball and being able to multitask and to instruct other players while also doing her job and playing her girl,” McMahon said. “Obviously, as a defense, you have to all be connected and know what’s going on and having each other’s backs. So, I think she’s the ultimate sort of team player.”

Due to her leadership abilities, McGovern was chosen as the UMass athletic department’s female representative at the 2013 NCAA Student-Athlete Leadership Forum last November in Providence, R.I. It was a chance for McGovern to meet other athletes around the country and “look deeper into myself as a leader and

learn how to deal with other types of leadership styles and how you can use that to make a better team,” she said.

The experience may be beneficial to McGovern’s future as well. She coaches a youth team based out of Maynard and has already come to McMahon with questions about college coaching.

“A lot of other seniors right now at UMass are just thinking about what they’re doing the next day, and she’s already planning her life,” McMahon said. “I just think that shows what a driven and motivated player she really is.”

“It’s definitely in my post-grad plan,” McGovern said. “By mentoring some of the younger girls, I guess that’s kind of the coaching aspect, so yes, I hope I can get into coaching and that someone would want me to help them out and be on their team to give a little input.”

High expectations The Minutewomen’s 2013 season ended in the second round of the NCAA Tournament with a 12-9 loss to Penn State.

After five straight A-10 championships, McGovern said that winning the conference is “expected at this point” and that the next step for this season is to “work hard to make it a little further in the (NCAA) Tournament.”

As for individual goals, after recording a UMass single season record 110 draw controls last year, McGovern said that coming off her injury, she is just focusing on working toward getting into game shape.

Then, she said, she expects to continue to “help create turnovers and get some draws to send the ball the other way.”

With her last season ahead, McGovern said this year has a little extra meaning to her.

“Being a senior, you get a little sentimental about your season and about being at college,” McGovern said. “I’m excited, but I’m focusing on each day and every moment, because everything counts and every practice is special.

I’m not trying to take anything for granted.”

Anthony Chiusano can be reached at achiusano@umass.edu and can be followed on Twitter @a_chiusano24.

BASKETBALL

UMass brings energy to Mullins Minutemen avoid another sloppy start

By PAtriCk stroheCker Collegian Staff

With Maxie Esho out of the lineup on Wednesday night, there was debate over whether or not the Massachusetts men’s basketball team would have the same energy level without him.

UMass quickly put those questions to bed, coming out in a frenzy, using the 4,345 fans in attendance at Mullins Center to pump itself up en route to a 79-67 win over La Salle.

“It’s something we always shoot for, to start the game well with high energy,” UMass coach Derek Kellogg said. “The crowd was very helpful, I thought, in helping us do that. I thought the way we practiced the last couple days and not being on the

in practice that they were going to come out with more intensity and leave their bad stretch of results in the past.

UMass did that and, accordDerek Kellogg, ing to Kellogg, the team can UMass coach use this performance—and road was actually very nice, out to a huge lead early on, it intensity level—to propel and not feeling like we were did set the tone, both defen- them forward in the home in planes, trains and automo- sively and offensively, with stretch.

“It was time to reset the its energy, coming away with biles for a couple days.”

Explorers’ coach John huge blocks that led to fast- deck,” Kellogg said. “They Giannini added that he could break points on the other were ready, I was ready and tell in warm-ups that the end. then we all brought energy Raphiael Putney’s five for a couple days and now Minutemen looked ready to come out with a lot of ener- blocks led all players in the I think we’re ready for this game and was also a career- last push.” gy.

Lethargic starts have cost high for him. In total, the Now the only quesUMass dearly in past games Minutemen had nine blocks tion that remains for the and have been a main rea- that prevented the Explorers son why the team was in the from establishing any offen- Minutemen is to see if they midst of three losses in four sive rhythm and continued can carry this performance games. The energy and com- to drive UMass’ energy level and energy level onto the road. They head out to Rhode petition level weren’t con- skyward. sistent throughout an entire “ If we’re going to be good, Island on Sunday to take on 40-minute game in those he’s got to get 11, 12 rebounds, the Rams. contests, but the Minutemen three or four altered shots, made sure they came out and two or three shots,” Patrick Strohecker can be reached at Kellogg said.The Minutemen pstrohec@umass.edu and followed on ready against La Salle.

While UMass didn’t jump had the mindset all week Twitter @P_Strohecker.

“They were ready, I was ready and then we all brought energy for a couple days and I think we’re ready for this last push.”

CADE BELISLE/COLLEGIAN

Raphiael Putney throws down a dunk in UMass’ win over La Salle.

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FOOTBALL

18 players sign National Letters of Intent to join Minutemen

By Mark Chiarelli Collegian Staff

Massachusetts football coach Mark Whipple put the finishing touches on a late recruiting push on Wednesday, officially announcing the 2014 class on National Signing Day. In total, 18 players signed National Letters of Intent to play for UMass next season.

Four more players—offensive lineman Anthony Fernandez, tight end Jordan Fiske, wide receiver Jalen Williams and quarterback Andrew Verboys—enrolled this semester at the University to begin taking spring classes. The Minutemen also announced that quarterback Blake Frohnapfel and wide receiver Alex Kenney are eligible to play immediately after transferring from other institutions.

Whipple preached the luxury of creating competition at multiple positions, something the entire coaching staff plans to create in Whipple’s first year at the helm. Despite having limited time to put a complete recruiting class together—Whipple was hired on Jan. 14—the 56-year-old coach was pleased with the outcome.

“We had a good day, we had

a really good day,” he said.

“As a tribute to the guys that are on staff and how hard we pushed and traveled, I would say (we) salvaged, but I think we got a bunch of good guys and good people that’ll really help us.”

Whipple specifically named both Frohnapfel and Kenney as notable players who could potentially impact the program. Frohnapfel, who has two years of eligibility remaining as a redshirt sophomore, will transfer from Marshall University, where he spent two seasons as a backup. He plans to graduate from there this spring with a degree in finance and economics.

Kenney has one season of eligibility remaining and will pursue his graduate degree from UMass once he earns his undergraduate from Pennsylvania State University this spring. The wide receiver caught 24 passes for 197 yards during his Nittany Lions career and was a teammate of quarterback Austin Whipple, Mark Whipple’s son.

“I think that headline guys that’ll help us right away are the two transfers,” Whipple said.

In total, four quarterbacks were added to the roster. In

MARIA UMINSKI/COLLEGIAN

UMass football coach Mark Whipple announced the Minutemen’s 2014 class on National Signing Day. addition to Frohnapfel and Verboys, both Ross Comis and Randall West also signed letters of intent. The Minutemen also added 10 linemen in total. Dimitri Angelas, Dan DiNicola, Ryan Johnson, Liam Porter and Anthony Fernandez highlighted the offensive side while Chris Carter, Da’Sean Downey, Jake

Largay, Josh Smiley and Jack Wynne will play on the defensive line.

“We thought we needed to add competition at every position,” Whipple said. “We need guys to compete. I’ve been happy with our guys that are here now, the little that I’ve seen of them. But you’ve got to fill the class, and as I said all

MEN’S BASKETBALL

BACK ON TRACK

along, it’s always been my philosophy that the best players play. I don’t care how old they are or where they’re from.”

Multiple players were holdovers from the Charley Molnar era. Of note, both West and running back J.T. Blyden were high-profile recruits Mark Chiarelli can be reached at for Molnar and remained mchiarel@umass.edu and followed on committed to UMass, much Twitter @Mark_Chiarelli.

HOCKEY

UMass preps for NU, UM Lowell

By CaMeron MCDonough Collegian Staff

NICOLE EVANGELISTA/COLLEGIAN

UMass point guard Chaz Williams drives to the basket during his team’s 79-67 win over La Salle on Wednesday night.

UM ends recent troubles with win

By Mark Chiarelli Collegian Staff

It was an all-too-familiar start for a Massachusetts men’s basketball team coming off an anythingbut-familiar stretch of recent performances.

UMass forward Raphiael Putney sprinted down the court following a Derrick Gordon steal off the opening possession, leaking behind La Salle defenders focused on stopping Gordon’s penetration.

Gordon lofted up an alleyoop and Putney finished with a patented dunk, providing a sudden jolt of energy to the 4,345 fans who braved snowy conditions to see the Minutemen down the Explorers 79-67.

Putney’s dunk played out similarly to the many others he’s accumulated over his career. But it also raised the energy level immediately, something UMass has lacked consistently in recent performances. Tonight, energy permeated throughout the entire starting lineup, specifically on the defensive

end.

“I thought we played good defense,” UMass coach Derek Kellogg said.

“We locked up, especially in the first half, created some open floor turnovers and some easy baskets, and we came away with a good victory against a very good team.”

Gordon’s play was especially impressive. He added three steals, blocked two shots and chipped in six assists to go along with 12 points. Facing an Explorers team that relies heavily on production from their guards, Gordon was a defensive pest.

“From the tip, we have to be aggressive on the defensive end,” Gordon said. “A lot of my teammates look at me to start it up on the defensive end, and that’s what I try to do night in and night out.”

The ef fort translated into production almost immediately. The Minutemen pushed the lead to 10 points before a Tyreek Duren 3-pointer cut it to 28-21. But UMass persisted, taking advantage

of a 3-pointer from Trey Davis and a layup from Chaz Williams to push the lead to 35-21 before La Salle finally called a timeout with three minutes, 48 seconds to go in the first half.

“It’s something we always shoot for, is to start the game well and come out with high energy,” Kellogg said.

The Minutemen took a 43-27 lead into halftime.

They received 23 points from Williams and Davis combined and blocked five Explorers’ shots in the first half, in addition to grabbing four steals.

The effort continued in the second half. UMass pushed the lead to as much as 20 and spent the majority of the half easily warding off La Salle.

Five different Minutemen scored in double-digits, led by Williams who tallied a game-high 17 points.

Putney, who finished with eight points, added 11 rebounds and a careerhigh five blocks.

The p e r fo r m a n c e eased some concerns over

the UMass team, which entered the game mired in a two-game losing streak, and having lost of three of its last four. For La Salle coach John Giannini, it was evident early that the Minutemen were focused on turning things around.

“Their warm-ups were focused,” Giannini said.

“They were serious, they were together. They looked like a veteran team that knew they needed to win the game.”

UMass also played without reserve forward Maxie Esho, who missed the game due to a head injury. Kellogg shortened the bench, playing only Davis and Tyler Bergantino within a regular rotation.

Davis finished with 13 points and was 3-of-3 on 3-pointers.

The Minutemen return to action on Sunday against Rhode Island.

Mark Chiarelli can be reached at mchiarel@umass.edu and followed on Twitter @Mark_Chiarelli.

Whipple’s delight.

“I thought the people that were here before I got here had done a good job,” he said.

“There were a lot of good players that were committed and we’re happy to have here.”

UMass will also add defensive backs Jarrell Addo and Charan Singh, tight ends Jon Denton and Jean Sifrin and linebacker Ezekiel Edmonds into the mix for next season.

Whipple praised the role of current players on the team in the recruiting process, especially in the final weekend before signing day.

Whipple and his staff crisscrossed the country in an attempt to visit with as many recruits as possible. But ultimately, the final selling point was the University itself and the upgraded facilities at McGuirk Stadium.

“There’s no question (the facilities) were the last thing they walked through,” Whipple said. “I think (the recruits) could see where the program’s headed, where administration has made an impact, and it certainly made an impact on those kids.”

The Minutemen seemed to have Northeastern (16-8-3, 8-5-1 HEA) right where they wanted on Jan. 4, but the team squandered a third period lead thanks to some untimely stick penalties.

“I think, although we didn’t win that non-league game we had about a month ago down at Matthews, we certainly have confidence the way we played and had a third period lead,” Micheletto said. “And if not for some undisciplined penalties in the third, we could’ve very easily won that game.

“So we know they’re gonna be difficult,” he added.

Those sort of penalties are “unacceptable” according to Micheletto and something he said he addressed with his team.

As for UMass Lowell (187-2, 8-4-1 HEA), it’s been a long time since the two teams squared off. It was the second game of the season for UMass back on Oct. 12, and the Minutemen ended up losing the game 5-2 on the road.

The River Hawks continue to give UMass a tough time, as they have won seven straight games against the Minutemen.

“They play very well on the wall and they get good goaltending,” Micheletto said when asked why UMass Lowell has dominated the season series between the two teams of late. “And we’re not right now finishing at a rate that we can. And whenever you’re playing against a team that is gonna play hard and keep the puck against the wall and then get fantastic goaltending, your results are not gonna be where you want them to be.”

Solid goaltending is something that both the River Hawks and Northeastern have relied on this year. UMass Lowell’s Connor Hellebuyck and Doug Carr rank No. 1 and No. 2 in the conference in goals against, while the Huskies’ Clay Witt comes in at No. 4 in the league.

Puck drop is scheduled for 7 p.m. at Northeastern on Friday and then at 6 p.m. against the River Hawks on Saturday at Mullins Center.

Saturday’s game can be seen on NESN.

Time is running out in the 2013-14 regular season for the Massachusetts hockey team, but there is still time for the Minutemen to achieve their goals.

While the ultimate goal of gaining one of the top five spots in the conference and subsequently a first round bye might be tough, there is still a very good chance that UMass could get a home game in the first round of the playoffs.

All that the Minutemen (7-16-4, 3-8-3 Hockey East) have to do is finish the season in spots six through eight in order for that goal to be reached. And right now, they are in a tie for eighth with Notre Dame at nine points in the league.

“We’re obviously trying to reach the highest standing we can,” said UMass coach John Micheletto. “I think we can say realistically, trying to look at six games for us and seven or eight games for some of the other teams left in the league, that we can certainly earn that first round home ice playoff game.”

He continued, “You’re gonna need a lot of help trying to fly up into one of the top five spots.”

The good thing for the Minutemen is that, in their coach’s eyes, they are playing a much better game, just in time for a playoff push.

“We feel like we’ve been playing pretty good hockey the last dozen games or so, and hopefully that puts us in the best spot to keep moving forward,” Micheletto said.

That’s a good thing for UMass, because its schedule will be tough down the stretch. First, the team will play at No. 11 Northeastern on Friday, then against No. 7 UMass Lowell on Saturday.

Both of those teams are nationally ranked and sit in a tie for second place in the conference. The Minutemen will then have to play both teams again next weekend before finishing out the year against Providence, which is fifth in Hockey East.

UMass has played both the Huskies and River Hawks in a set of unusual nonconference games against a conference opponent already this season, Cameron McDonough can be reached but the results were far from at cameronm@umass.edu and folsatisfying. lowed on Twitter @Cam_McDonough.

THE MASSACHUSETTS DAILY COLLEGIAN

Thursday, February 6, 2014

News@DailyCollegian.com

A decade of Route 9

Trivia night for the Bard

The ups and downs of the popular diner

By Malea Ritz Collegian Staff

The Route 9 Diner, beloved by college students throughout the Pioneer Valley, celebrated its 10 year anniversary in December, and owners Chris Karabetsos and Archie Sideris reflected on their memories and the changes that they have noticed over the years.

Karabetsos bought the diner in 2003 and took on Sideris as a partner a year later.

“We were close friends for a long time, we were both in transition, we were looking for a business and we came together.

This was available and we fell right into it and haven’t looked back since,” Karabetsos said.

The two recall one of their biggest challenges: getting the locals to form a new opinion of the diner. The previous owner had a bad reputation with the local community, and, according to Karabetsos and Sideris, it took some time for the two of them to gain their trust.

“We had a really tough time in the beginning because whoever owned this before, (the locals) thought it was (the same owner).

It took us five years to get that name out of here,” Sideris said.

“That was a hump it took us a while to get over,” Karabetsos added.

Initially, the diner was only open on the weekends for 24 hours, and would close for approximately an hour to prepare for the following day. Soon after they took over, Karabetsos and Sideris decided to operate the diner 24/7, and it has been running that way ever since.

“I think we have gotten busier and busier every year, and I think that’s the locals getting used to us and coming to us We’ve really attracted customers that are loyal to us,” Karabetsos said.

Karabetsos and Sideris mentioned the distinct change in customers between the school year and summer, with the locals coming in during the summer and students during the school year.

Their initial goal was “to be the go-to place for locals and college students,” Karabetsos said.

“We (were) trying to get them to mingle at the same time,” Sideris said.

According to the two, they think that they have now achieved that balance.

Additionally, the flow of business has evolved over time.

UMass’ decision to move football games to Gillette Stadium was a blow to the diner, the owners said. Karabetsos and Sideris have also noticed a decline in business during the late-night hours since they took over. The owners attribute this change to UMass offering more dining options and events on campus, as well as increased caution against drunk driving.

One of their favorite memories from the past 10 years is the May Day celebrations on May 1.

“The first time we encountered it, there (were) 100 people coming in here dressed up and they (were) dancing in the parking lot, reenacting stuff. It’s something we never expected, and kind of turned into a tradition, so it was kind of cool,” Karabetsos said.

“We’ve met so many people here throughout the years and they’ve become friendly with us.

We’ve seen them every day now for at least eight, nine years.

They’ve become part of our family now. I see them just as much as my family,” Karabetsos said. see

DINER on page B3

By Kate leddy Collegian Staff

Snow School? Snow problem

JULIA CARDILLO/COLLEGIAN

The Renaissance Center at the University of Massachusetts will be hosting a Shakespeare Trivia Pub Night on Thursday evening. All are invited to partake in a series of questions and riddles about the Bard and his plays.

Participants may arrive already in teams or form them upon arrival.

The event will take place in the Reading Room of the Renaissance Center, located at 650 East Pleasant St. from 7-9 p.m.. It is free to the public. Free parking is available at the Renaissance Center as well. Nonalcoholic beverages and light snacks will be served.

There will be ten rounds of trivia questions, and a small prize will be awarded to the winning teams.

“You don’t have to be a Shakespeare expert to play,” said Jeff Goodhind, the librarian at the Renaissance Center. “It can be surprising just how much people actually know about Shakespeare without having studied him.”

Dori Robinson, the Assistant Director For Programming at the Hillel House, will emcee the event along with theatre student Daniel Kadish.

Kadish recently directed “The Complete Works of Shakespeare Abridged” Renaissance Festival at the center.

This is the center’s first Shakespeare trivia night, but Goodhind is hopeful for a good turnout. He anticipates around 30 participants and encourages anyone interested to bring friends along.

RACHEL MAYNARD/COLLEGIAN

Amherst residents and students enjoyed a day of activities in the snow as the University announced a campus closing Wednesday morning. Full story on page B2.

Kate Leddy can be reached at kleddy@umass. edu.

Russia’s president takes a beating Putin receiving heavy criticsm over Olympics By linda RoBeRtson The Miami Herald

MOSCOW — Vladimir Putin likes to portray himself as an athlete, whether he’s skiing, playing hockey, throwing judo opponents or riding bare-chested on horseback. Russia’s iron-pumping, ironfisted president views the Sochi Olympics as another contest to be won - but with much more at stake than gold medals.

Seven years after Putin personally campaigned for the 2014 Olympics to be held at his favorite Black Sea summer retreat and mountain winter playground, his name has been attached to Russia’s first try as a Winter Olympics host. They are known as “Putin’s Games.”

Putin’s goal was to consolidate his power by elevating his country’s stature, but even before the cauldron has been lit, he has taken a beating.

Putin deployed 60,000 security personnel to Sochi to prevent a terrorist attack from North Caucasus militants who have vowed to embarrass him. Repression of environmental and gay-rights activists has critics saying he is reprising his role as KGB chief.

His $51 billion Games will cost four times more than predicted, busting the Olympic record amid accusations of kickbacks to his oligarch cronies.

“These Games are Putin’s pet project so he can look like a macho guy in total control,” opposition leader Boris Nemtsov said this week. “But so far, all the problems with his regime have been concen-

trated in Sochi.”

Just outside the Kremlin’s walls, a giant clock counts down the time until Friday’s Opening Ceremonies. Muscovites bundled in fur coats and ushankas hustle past, too busy keeping up with the cost of living in this expensive capital to notice that the digital numbers on one side don’t match those on the other. Putin enjoys high approval ratings, especially in rural parts of the world’s largest country. Yet Russians seem well aware of the propaganda value of a successful Olympics, just as they understood the purpose of Soviet military spectacles in Red Square.

“I believe many people outside Russia still see it as a country of bears, drunks and dictators,” said Anna Vereschagina, a student.

“The Olympics can help to change those thoughts.”

Putin, however, has reinforced stereotypes of the old Russia while leading the new Russia for the past 14 years. His recent release of political prisoners Mikhail Khodorkovsky and two members of the Pussy Riot rock band did not disguise his government’s crackdown on media, detention of environmentalists in Sochi or support of anti-gay legislation, according to the Committee to Protect Journalists and Human Rights Watch.

“The image of strongman and protector has been Putin’s hallmark, and Russians respond well to that because they are quite patriotic,” said Indiana University political science professor Dina Spechler. “Democracy is an alien system in Russia. People want law and order. They’ve seen the Color Revolutions. They understand the centrifugal tendencies of a huge

realm that could become ungovernable and has descended into anarchy in the past.”

The biggest risk Putin faces is tragedy at the Games perpetrated by jihadists from the Caucasus Emirate group. Hatred of Russia dates back centuries to the tsarists’ conquering of the mountain tribes. Dagestan is now the center of unrest. Security forces are hunting suspected “Black Widow” suicide bombers and other extremists who may have infiltrated Sochi’s “Ring of Steel” months ago.

“They (the jihadists) are hardened by experience, and they mean business,” said Daniel Benjamin, former coordinator for counterterrorism with the U.S. State Department and director of the Dickey Center for International Understanding at Dartmouth College, who said “geographic vulnerability” around Sochi is greater than at any previous Olympics.

“They don’t believe they have any better methods to draw attention to their cause of seeking freesee

PUTIN on page B3

B2

Thursday, February 6, 2014

THE RUNDOWN ON THIS DAY...

In 1952, Elizabeth II became the queen regnant of the United Kingdom and its Commonwealth realms after the death of her father George VI.

AROUND THE WORLD

Pakistan WASHINGTON — The Obama administration has agreed to Pakistan’s request to stop drone-launched missile strikes except on al-Qaida operational leaders while Islamabad pursues peace talks with local Taliban militants, U.S. officials say.

The

informal

pause

began in late December, seven weeks after a CIA drone strike killed Pakistani Taliban leader Hakimullah Mehsud just as negotiations were set to begin, drawing an angry rebuke to Washington from Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif’s government.

Tribune Washington Bureau

Ukraine KIEV,

Ukraine

—

European Union foreign policy chief Catherine Ashton offered Wednesday to help Ukraine achieve constitutional reform and bring the perpetrators of violence to justice, during a visit to Kiev aimed at seeking a way out of the country’s political crisis.

“Although there is a sense of violence decreasing, there is still great concern about the situation on the ground and great concern to see that those who have committed violence are brought to justice,” Ashton said.

The EU was “more than willing to help and support” some form of “transparent and independent process” to that end, the bloc’s top diplomat said in a press conference,

after

meet-

ings with President Viktor Yanukovych and members of the opposition. dpa

Portugal LISBON, Portugal — An auction of 85 works by the Catalan artist Joan Miro that are owned by the Portuguese state, scheduled to take place on Wednesday in London, was suspended after protests erupted over the sale of a cultural heritage.

Christie’s,

the

auction

THE MASSACHUSETTS DAILY COLLEGIAN

DailyCollegian.com

Winter storm closes campus Students advised to take precautions

By KaTriNa BorofsKi Collegian Staff

Students were awoken yesterday morning at 5:24 a.m., not by their alarm clocks, but by a message from the University of Massachusetts Office of Emergency Management.

“The University of Massachusetts Amherst campus is closed today, Wednesday, Feb. 5, 2014,,” said the email sent to all students, faculty and staff.

According to the WGGB online weather reports, the Amherst area has received a recorded 7.5 inches of snow.

Surrounding towns South Hadley and Ware received 10 inches and nine inches, respectively, according to WGGB. Amherst Colle g e, Hampshire College, Mt. Holyoke College and Smith College, all members of the Five College Consortium, also canceled school due to the inclement weather.

Ed Blaguszewski, executive director of News and Media Relations at the University, shed some light on the cancellation process.

“The working assumption is that UMass stays open until we announce we’re closed,” explained Blaguszewski.

“That’s what we share with the community every year, and that’s the process.”

Regarding the precautions that students should be taking while traveling on campus, Blaguszewski recommended, “People need to be cautious, and really need to be careful and just use common sense.”

“Make sure you’re welldressed and prepared for the elements. Keep an eye out for snow removal equipment, because that’s the reason we’re closed, and they need to work efficiently,” said Blaguszewski.

At the University, all services across campus were closed with the exception of University Health Services, Counseling and Psychological Health, University Police, Campus Center Hotel and Garage, the dining commons, the Physical Plant, University Operator and the residence halls.

Organizations like the M a s s a ch u s e t t s Emergency Management Agency and the American Red Cross Association of Massachusetts offered disaster readiness information as well as support for emergencies during the storm.

Kat Powers, director of communications for Boston Red Cross, provided ample insight on some of the tips and advice that

“Make sure you’re well-dressed and prepared for the elements. Keep an eye out for snow removal equipment, because that’s the reason we’re closed, and they need to work efficiently” Ed Blaguszewski, UMass spokesman the Red Cross offered to people during the storm.

“This particular storm was impacting folks’ ability to get to work,” explained Powers. “What we were doing was putting out safety-for-driving tips.”

Some suggestions that Powers mentioned included action plans for breaking down while driving in a storm like yesterday’s.

Powers emphasized the importance of leaving a blanket in cars at all times. She also suggested never running hazard lights while on the side of the road, due to the car’s limited battery life. Instead, she recommended flashing the lights “intermittently.”

Another suggestion that Powers offered was to keep a bag of cat litter in your car.

“If you have four-wheel drive, stick the kitty litter under the wheel to help it get un-stuck,” Powers explained.

Powers emphasized that the best way to stay safe was to stay at home.

In the event that evacuation is required, Powers said, “Make sure you have an out-of-state emergency contact that knows where you are at all times.”

Powers also shared the process that the Red Cross takes during storms and times of emergency.

“Any time there’s a significant event, if it’s forecasted ahead of time, we’re pre-fixing supplies,” Powers said.

“We have specialties that come down who are training in feeding large numbers of people, helping shelter hundreds of people, etc..”

Based on weather conditions predicted to take place on Sunday, the Red Cross is having its volunteers stay on call until Tuesday, Feb. 11.

“Fortunately, we did not hear anything about major power outages,” said Powers. “Most people just stayed home. With this particular case, we were ready to go.”

OLIVIER DOULIERY/ABACA PRESS

CVS Pharmacy is responding to public health advocates by making the desicion to cease selling tobacco products.

Drugstore announces plan to end tobacco sales Cigarettes to be removed at CVS

By Noam N. Levey aNd TiffaNy Hsu

Tribune Washington Bureau

WASHINGTON — CVS Caremark, the nation’s second-largest drugstore chain, plans to stop selling cigarettes and other tobacco products at its more than 7,600 retail stores by Oct. 1, a landmark decision that would make it the first national pharmacy company to cease tobacco sales.

The move, which the company announced Wednesday, comes after years of pressure from public health advocates and medical providers, who have urged retailers to make tobacco products and advertising less available, particularly to children and teenagers.

It also marks a major turn for one of the country’s biggest healthcare companies, which said it is giving up about $2 billion in annual sales, or about 1.6 percent of the company’s 2012 revenues.

CVS, which is second only to Walgreen Co. in retail locations, has been steadily increasing its business providing medical care through its pharmacists and a growing number of urgent care clinics at its retail locations.

“As the delivery of healthcare evolves with an emphasis on better health outcomes, reducing chronic disease and controlling costs, CVS Caremark is playing an expanded role in providing care,” Larry J. Merlo, the president and chief executive officer, said in a statement. “Put simply, the sale of tobacco products is inconsistent with our purpose.”

CVS, based in Woonsocket, R.I., also pledged to launch what it called a “robust national smoking cessation program” this spring.

Nationwide, less than 5 percent of cigarette sales occurred in pharmacies in 2009, according to a study by the Center for Global Tobacco Control. But sales at pharmacies have been increasing, even as overall cigarette sales declined.

Public health advocates hailed the CVS decision,

While acknowledging that smokers will be able to go somewhere else to buy cigarettes, Wender and other advocates said making purchases a little more difficult can help tobacco users resist the urge to buy. expressing optimism that it could catalyze new efforts to curb tobacco use.

“This is a bold step,” said Dr. Risa Lavizzo-Mourey, president and chief executive officer of the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation. “CVS is clearly establishing a leadership position in making the country healthier and in building a culture of health.”

Half a century after the ground-breaking U.S. Surgeon General’s report warning of the dangers of smoking, the nation has dramatically cut smoking rates for adults from 42 percent in 1965 to just 19 percent in 2011, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

But public health advocates have grown concerned that progress has stalled in recent years.

No major retailer has taken steps to limit tobacco sales since Target announced in 1996 that it would stop selling tobacco products.

And though pressure on pharmacies has been growing, Walgreen went to court to try to stop San Francisco from imposing a ban on tobacco sales in pharmacies.

The challenge was dismissed by a federal court. Boston has enacted a similar ban.

Public health advocates hope that reducing the number of stores where tobacco products can be sold and advertised will help push smoking rates down even further.

“We need another boost,” said Dr. Richard Wender, chief cancer control officer at the American Cancer Society.

While acknowledging that smokers will be able to go somewhere else to buy cigarettes, Wender and other advocates said making purchases a little more difficult can help tobacco users resist the urge to buy.

“It is a hard habit to break,” said Robin Koval,

president and chief executive officer of Legacy, a foundation that is a leading advocate for the prevention of tobacco use. “But if you are standing there in a store ... and the ad and the display is there in front of you, you may not be able to resist the urge.”

CVS executives said they hoped the company’s decision would also contribute to the ongoing campaign to make tobacco use socially unacceptable.

“Making cigarettes available in pharmacies in essence ‘renormalizes’ the product by sending the subtle message that it cannot be all that unhealthy if it is available for purchase where medicines are sold,” the company’s chief medical officer, Dr. Troyen Brennan, wrote in a new article in the Journal of the American Medical Assn.

The article is co-authored by Dr. Steven Schroeder, director of the Smoking Cessation Leadership Center at UC San Francisco.

In June, Starbucks began prohibiting smokers from lighting up within a 25-foot radius of its stores, attributing the rule to “a sense of responsibility to provide customers with a safe and healthy environment.” The Seattle coffee giant had previously banned smoking inside its cafes.

It is unclear if other pharmacy chains will follow CVS’ lead.

When Target stopped selling tobacco products nearly two decades ago, the company cited low profit margins in part because the high costs of theft and enforcement of age restrictions on sales.

CVS said that the anticipated $2-billion annual sales hit would not change its profit guidance for the year.

The company said it has “identified incremental opportunities that are expected to offset the profitability impact,” but did not specify what they are. CVS

Katrina Borofski can be reached at kborofski@umass.edu.

house in London where the sale was slated to take place, said the sale was suspended due to Portugal’s “judicial uncertainty.”

Portugal’s

Office

of

Culture Heritage said the works had been taken out of the country illegally, and denounced the auction as constituting a loss to the country’s cultural ancestry.

Miro, a painter most wellknown for his surrealist work, died in 1983. dpa Distributed by MCT Information Services

RACHEL MAYNARD/COLLEGIAN

Students sledded down the hill outside Baker on Wednesday afternoon.

OLIVIER DOULIERY/ABACA PRESS

Advocates of smoking cessation feel that removing cigarettes from the pharmacy will help those trying to quit.

DailyCollegian.com

DINER

THE MASSACHUSETTS DAILY COLLEGIAN

PUTIN

continued from page B1

SHAINA MISHKIN/COLLEGIAN

The Route 9 Diner has become a popular late night eatery, remaining open 24 hours a day throughout the seasons.

“If not more,” Sideris added.

The Route 9 Diner menu has continued to evolve. The diner is known for its Greek food in particular, but it offers a wide selection of other options as well. One of the most popular items is the moussaka, Sideris said. Other meals include a variety of salads, sautés and seafood.

“We even get people come in and tell us too, they can’t even get (this) salad at a high-class restaurant,” Karabetsos said. “It makes us feel good in that respect, that we can put out something

(that) someone might get at what they might consider a more upscale place.

And we can do the same thing for them, just at a better price. We just don’t have linen napkins on the table, you know, that’s it.”

As for their plans for the future, the owners want to keep improving the menu while also increasing their local suppliers.

“Everything’s finally falling into place after 10 years,” Karabetsos said.

Malea Ritz can be reached at mritz@umass.edu.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

continued from page B1

dom from Russian brutality,” he said. “Look back at the 1972 Munich Olympics: From one day to the next, Palestinians went from obscure to the world’s pressing problem.”

Putin also faces discontent in Moscow, where another protest was held Saturday, with Nemtsov’s demonstrators holding up signs that said “Free political prisoners; jail Olympic thieves.”

Nemtsov, a former deputy prime minister under Boris Yeltsin, estimates the cost of Olympic embezzlement at $26 billion. At his Republican Party headquarters, Nemtsov showed graphs comparing the cost per stadium seat of various Olympics. Sochi, at $19,000, dwarfs the cost of Vancouver ($7,000) and Turin ($10,800). Sochi’s total cost is $11 billion higher than the Beijing Summer Games, which were much larger.

“It’s a festival of corruption,” Nemtsov said. “It’s crony capitalism at its best.”

Nemtsov, a native of Sochi, lamented the deforestation of the mountains above Sochi and laughed at the assertion by Sochi’s mayor that just as there is no corruption in his city, there are no gay people.

“Idiotic - I have to ask, ‘Mr. Mayor, who, then, is going into Sochi’s gay clubs?’ “ he said. “It’s like the same censorship on the zombie box of state TV. Everyone applauds Putin the hero.”

Alexei Navalny, a lawyer, financial activist and cofounder of the Democratic Alternative movement, created a website tracking Olympic construction contracts from the state and conflicts of interest. Arkady

Rotenberg, a friend of Putin’s since judo school, won $7 billion in power plant contracts. Vladimir Yakumin, head of Russia Railways, oversaw the 30-mile railway and highway link that cost $9 billion - more than the total bill for the Vancouver Games. Another beneficiary of those deals was Putin pal Gennady Timchenko.

“Putin is the spider in the middle of a web of dubious contracts that enriched his empire of political and business elite,” said Vladimir Ashurkov, executive director of Navalny’s AntiCorruption Foundation.

“We estimate the graft at 40 percent. People are disillusioned by the lack of transparency. It takes the joy out of the Olympics.”

Putin has dismissed the reports as politically motivated speculation.

But Valery Morozov, the first businessman to blow the whistle on Kremlin favoritism in Sochi, said retribution is a tool of the government. While on vacation in London in 2011, he was warned not to return to Russia.

“I found out I was put on a hit list and it would be dangerous for me to go home,” said Morozov, who was granted political asylum and has remained in England. “It’s a criminal system run by criminal minds, and I hope that criminal investigations will follow.

“I started this wave alone, but I think there will be a cleaning and Russia will not be the same after the Olympic Games.”

The Russian Olympic team, which finished a disappointing sixth in the medal count in 2010 after decades of Soviet and Russian dominance from

B3

1956 to 1994, faces great expectations that its performance will improve.

But none of the hockey, figure-skating or Nordic athletes faces as much pressure as Putin, who wants to showcase Russia’s renaissance since the 1991 breakup of the USSR. “Russia looks at the incredible rise of China and feels left behind,” said Dartmouth government professor William Wohlforth.

“Russia has regained some influence since the 1990s, but nothing like the global authority it used to have.

Putin called the end of the Soviet Union the greatest geopolitical disaster of the 20th century. Russians still regret their loss of standing.”

Putin, who is expected to run for president again in 2016, is wary of demonstrations inside Russia and next door in Ukraine. He also wants to recalibrate his prestige in the West after several leaders, including U.S. President Barack Obama, snubbed him by declining invitations to attend the Games. Obama sent a delegation that includes prominent gay athletes.

“Putin’s got a big stage to validate his rule,” said Indiana University public affairs professor Leslie Lenkowsky. “The risk is a big black eye.”

Putin’s Cold War instincts kicked in long before his Games began. In the next two weeks, the world and his countrymen will judge their effectiveness. He is mindful of history, and of his discredited predecessors. One need only visit Vladimir Lenin’s tomb in Red Square. It reminds tourists of Madame Tussauds wax museum. Lots of Muscovites think it’s an eyesore.

Opinion Editorial THE MASSACHUSETTS DAILY COLLEGIAN

“Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length.” - Robert Frost

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Editorial@DailyCollegiancom

The rise of cryptocurrency On Oct. 1, the FBI raided a public library in San Francisco, arresting Ross William Ulbricht and shut-

Jason Roche ting down his black market site called the Silk Road.

The Silk Road was used to traffic drugs, launder money and even hire contract killers, exclusively using the cryptocurrency Bitcoin to make exchanges.

At the time of the bust, the site had generated revenue worth more than 9.5 million bitcoins, valued over $1 billion.

Bitcoin’s central role in the facilitation of the Silk Road black market did not gain it the best reputation, but that did not stop many mainstream outlets from accepting the cryptocurrency. Overstock.com, eBay, Gyft gift cards and thousands of small busi-

Like all currencies, Bitcoin’s value is determined by what people believe it is worth. Right now, one bitcoin is worth over $800.

the Bitcoin wallet. The currency also allows a significant degree of anonymity as no personal identification is tethered to one’s bitcoins or their wallet.

Bitcoin does have drawbacks, however. As a virtual currency, it is vulnerable to hacks, though such misfortune can be avoided if bitcoins are stored offline.

Also, the price of Bitcoin is highly volatile, increasing from $13.50 to $1200 during 2013 only to plummet to less than $500. This makes the currency a risky bet; it could be highly lucrative or a complete waste of money. It is also necessary to consider future regulations: as Bitcoin continues to rise in popularity, governments are eyeing the currency. China recently banned Bitcoin from its largest online exchange and Europe is considering regulating it.

The opinions on the future value of Bitcoin are extremely varied. Nobel Laureate economist Robert Shiller says that Bitcoin is a bubble waiting to burst, and finance professor Mark Williams warns that Bitcoin’s value could crash to $10 by mid-2014.

Meanwhile, hedge fund manager Hugh Hendry believes that its value could reach $1 million.

While the speculations about Bitcoin’s worth are up in the air, cryptocurrencies are here to stay. There are now over 83 different cryptocurrencies on the market, each with their own unique algorithms and control structures. These currencies are challenging the prevailing monetary supply. They are subverting the power of central banks by placing financial control directly in the hands of users.

This new form of money makes it nearly impossible for authoritative regimes to restrict the funds of human rights activists and political dissidents, as Bitcoin does not need any intermediaries. It also provides a secure monetary supply to populations without access to banks and facilitates their connection to the global economy. This opens the possibility to a financial world with a much more decentralized power structure where individuals have significantly more control over their own money.

While speculating on the Bitcoin market is risky business, you can bet that the cryptocurrency will have a significant role in the future of finance. We stopped backing our currency with gold half a century ago; now cryptocurrencies aim to back money with nothing but computer code. The difference is that it is not the central banks deciding to do so, yet.

nesses now accept Bitcoin, and the trend is catching on. These retailers are attracted to Bitcoin because transactions can be made internationally and without the fees and inconveniences of credit card companies.

Transactions are made directly from one individual to another, meaning no banks, no fees and no identification needed.

Bitcoin was created in 2009 by an unknown individual or group of individuals using the alias Satoshi Nakamoto. The cryptocurrency exists through an open-source software program and bitcoins are produced in strict adherence to a computer algorithm.

There is no central control of Bitcoin; it is operated by a community of developers, and bitcoins can be “mined” by anyone with a computer by solving complex algorithms. Like all currencies, Bitcoin’s value is determined by what people believe it is worth. Right now, one bitcoin is worth over $800.

Chairman of the Federal Reserve Ben Bernanke told Congress that crytpocurrencies “may have long-term promise.” There are unique advantages to Bitcoin that cannot be matched by current government-maintained currencies. The value of Bitcoin is not influenced by any one authority, and the currency can be fully maintained outside of any institution.

Transactions are made directly from one individual to another and the only Jason Roche is a Collegian columone capable of authorizing nist and can be reached at jwroche@ a payment is the owner of umass.edu.

‘Thinspiration’ should be regulated When it comes to discussing the rise of eating disorders and body image problems, the typical argument is

Maral Margossian the blame game: Some target the media for promoting largely unattainable body types, some condemn women for mercilessly judging and criticizing each other, and some accuse men for having unrealistic ideas about how women’s bodies should look.

These finger-pointing conversations obscure the purpose of discussing eating disorders in the first place—to prevent them from developing and help those who have them—and instead allow those who need help to fall through the cracks.

One of these rabbit holes spirals down into the online world of “thinspiration,” which is a community consisting primarily of young girls that promote extreme and potentially deadly methods of weight loss.

Thinspiration and its derivatives, pro-ana (pro-anorexia) and pro-mia (pro-bulimia), exist on social media sites like Tumblr, Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter, but also have entire websites dedicated to the cause. These sites use pictures of emaciated girls with “inspirational” quotes atop the images as encouragement.

“Must not eat. Must not eat. Must not eat.”

“Not skinny enough.”

“Skip dinner, end up thinner.”

These are some of the tamer messages presented on thinspiration forums.

The posters take pride in the amount of hours they’ve gone without eating and congratulate each other for having eaten, for example, only 500 calories in a day. The community also glorifies pro-

truding collarbones, visible ribcages, jutting hip bones and the “thigh gap,” a visible space between the inner thighs when one is standing with their feet together that recently has gained popularity.

Why would communities like this exist? For those who don’t have an eating disorder or have never had one, the idea of voluntarily engaging in self-destructive behavior and encouraging others to do so seems absurd and unjus-

style for the strong-willed.

In response to the growing popularity of these communities, some social media sites have chosen to prevent and block users from posting content that promotes self-destructive behavior. In February of 2012, Tumblr announced a new policy stating they would remove proself-harm blogs and prevent the content featured on them from being posted. They also created public service announcements that pop up

Rather than perceiving eating disorders as illnesses, pro-ana websites and pro-ana social media pages celebrate them as a lifestyle for the strong-willed. tifiable. However, those who do have eating disorders and do not want help perceive the thinspiration community as a “safe haven” where others like them feel free to be who they are without being judged or persecuted. The distinction, “those with eating disorders who do not want help,” must be made because these pro-eating disorder (pro-ED) communities are intended solely for people who currently have eating disorders and want motivation to continue living that way.

“Pro-ana sites are for those who are already anorexics, who want to be ‘triggered’ and are looking for advice, tips and support from fellow anorexics to help them become ‘better’ anorexics,” according to the article “Totally in Control,” from the Social Issues Research Center.

This mentality of choice further increases the dangers of the pro-ana communities.

Rather than perceiving eating disorders as illnesses, proana websites and social media pages celebrate them as a life-

at hindering self-harmful posts should not prevent the continued regulation of selfdestructive user content.

While it may seem futile to block pro-ana content on the Internet, greater harm would come if such content were not regulated. Critics argue that blocking pro-eating disorder content will only allow the community to move from one place to another. However, trying to control their proliferation will provide at least some impediment against the websites’ survival and growth.

Additionally, if more and more people increasingly put pressure on social media sites and site host companies to regulate such content, greater awareness can be raised about the existence of the thinspiration community.

In turn, healthy conversations about eating disorders can emerge between doctors, families, friends and society in general.

Today we hear about the rise of eating disorders and learn about them in passing in health class, but we don’t encourage open discussions about the topic. The subject of eating disorders is still very much a taboo, murky topic, and as a result, those who have it feel stigmatized and turn to the dark corners of the online thinspiration community for a sense of belonging. Breaking down these dangerous communities and promoting healthy lifestyles instead would be a step toward healing our society’s tortured relationship with food and body image.

after searches of self-harm tags such as “pro-ana” and “pro-mia.”

The public service announcement reads, “Eating disorders are not lifestyle choices, they are mental disorders that when left untreated, can cause serious health problems, and at their most severe can even be life-threatening. For treatment referrals, information and support, please contact the National Eating Disorders Association’s Helpline at 1-800-931-2237 or www.nationaleatingdisorders.org.”

Soon after, Pinterest announced its own policy regulating the posting of selfharm content, and Twitter is currently under pressure to regulate similar content.

Despite these measures, online thinspiration communities, both on Tumblr and Pinterest, continue to thrive.

A straightforward “thinspo tumblr” or “pro-ana tumblr” search on Google will generate plenty of content that violates the policies of those Maral Margossian is a Collegian columsocial media sites. However, nist and can be reached at mmargosthe relative lack of success sian@umass.edu.

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Arts Living THE MASSACHUSETTS DAILY COLLEGIAN

“Why aren’t you laughing at me? Everything I say is funny and adorable.” -Jennifer Lawrence

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Arts@DailyCollegian.com

FOOD & DRINK

Ballast Point Victory at Sea a ‘victory’ indeed Delicious fusion of bitter and sweet

By Emily A. BrightmAn Collegian Staff

Like many seasoned New Englanders, I am sometimes all but overwhelmed by the urge to adopt the hermit lifestyle in the winter and not leave the warm sanctuary of my house for anything other than essentials. Unfortunately academic and financial obligations always pry me from the comfort of my bed and out into the frozen tundra for one engagement or another, so I have to craft my warmth in more creative ways. While a stiff shot of whiskey is certain to always thaw the blood, those of us with a passion for the brew find ourselves turning to the darker varieties of beer to stave off the deep chill of the season.

Now I will never turn my nose up at a good crisp IPA, but when the temperature descends into the single digits and the wind chill comes equipped with a negative persuasion, my taste palate tends to fall more on the malty side as I find myself craving stouts and porters. Long cold nights beget strong dark beer, and the season of the swill is in

full swing.

On my most recent beerhunting expedition, I happened on the Victory at Sea Imperial Porter from the San Diego, Calif.-based Ballast Point Brewery.

Having grown up on the shores of Cape Cod, I am naturally a sucker for the consistent aquatic theme perpetuated by much of Ballast Point’s brews and labels, and their Sea Monster Imperial Stout was one of my favorite dark beers of the last year.

Though initially drawn to Victory at Sea for the grim caricature of a naval skeleton on the label, the added slogan of an imperial porter, “brewed with coffee and vanilla,” was enough to solidify my decision.

As many regular readers of this column are aware, I am an unabashed coffee fiend, so naturally my favor is easily won by any beer that uses it in the brewing process.

Right off the bat, this beer won my good graces because the aroma was almost overpoweringly bitter—the distinct scent of strong coffee is readily apparent once the cap has been popped, augmented by the heady scent of malt underneath. Pouring out a near pitch black, this hearty porter comes equipped with

a creamy tan head that dissipates gradually, leaving behind thick ropes of lacing. The thickness of this brew is noticeable when swirled around in a pint glass, revealing little to no clarity and further distributing the dissipated head.

Much like drinking molasses, drinking this beer gives a distinctly full taste in the mouth that leaves the tongue feeling thick with malt. An equal playing field of bitter coffee and sweet vanilla floods the taste buds, followed by a heavy malt sensation in the aftertaste. While the alcohol content is not readily tasted, the effects of the ABV are felt shortly after the first swig. The fullness of the malt composition mixed with the bittersweet tang of flavored coffee makes for a wallop of taste that falls somewhere in the happy medium between smooth drinkability and swill-worthy. However, at 10 percent alcohol content, Victory at Sea is not a beer to dealt with lightly—I speak from personal experience when I say that one 22 oz. bottle is likely more than enough for one night.

Aside from a seasonal weakness for dark beers, what really captured my heart about this brew was the expert blend of bitter

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Ballast Point’s Victory at Sea Porter combines an aesthetically pleasing label with an equally impressive beer. and sweet that balanced out in the aftertaste. The subtle art of combining coffee and beer is, in this beer geek’s opinion, highly underrated, but Ballast Point has crafted a beer that manages to seamlessly merge the delicate essences of bitter coffee and sweet malt.

A coffee-infused beer is a bold enough wager, but to add the zing of vanilla to the formula is commendably bold and, in this case,

flavorfully successful.

If your inherent sweet tooth spurs you to avoid the bitterness that is characteristic of craft beer, Victory at Sea may just tempt you to the dark side with its subtle balance of acidity and sweetness. Though it is by no means a light drinking experience, this delectable brew is sure to bring comfortable warmth to your gullet during the bitter nights that lay ahead.

So if naval-themed beverages or porter-style beers are your passion, Ballast Point’s Victory at Sea is the ideal drink to keep your taste buds satisfied. Just be sure to avoid any strenuous activity following your consumption, or the only victory you’ll be experiencing is that of intoxication.

Emily A. Brightman can be reached at ebrightman@umass.edu.

FOOD & DRINK

Hot cocktails for a cold season: winter’s best mixed drinks

Clever concoctions to thaw your frozen bones

old cranberry juice and vodka trick on a chilly evening, get your blood flowing with one (or more) of these delightful drinks.

By Emily A. BrightmAn

Hot toddy

There are few things that warm the blood on a bitter winter night quite like a stiff drink.

While old Hollywood would have us believe that a double-shot of whiskey is the best remedy for frozen bones, there is a healthy handful of alternative alcoholic concoctions to help thaw your gullet. From the classic spiked hot chocolate to the fabled boilermaker, mixed drink aficionados know that when the temperature outside drops, the need for a little liquid warmth becomes imperative to winter survival. If you’re bored with resorting to the same

If you’ve never heard of a hot toddy before, ask your grandparents. This ubiquitous winter drink has roots in Ireland and Scotland, and was traditionally used as a bedtime relaxant in cold weather, as well as a temporary cure for seasonal colds and the flu. While toddy recipes vary from culture to culture, the classic mixture involves whiskey, brandy or rum blended with honey, lemon and a strong cup of tea. I personally use Tazo Black Tea and Jameson to mix mine, but any other brands of tea and whiskey should suit the recipe just fine. For a little added kick, try adding a dash of

Collegian Staff

lemon juice or a cinnamon stick to amplify the flavor of the tea.

This drink is best served steaming hot and ideally accompanied by a comfortable seat from which one can watch the winter weather rage outside.

Spiked hot chocolate Hot chocolate, the beloved winter beverage, is always improved by the addition of alcohol.

Peppermint Schnapps is the standard booze companion to a cup of Swiss Miss, but a shot of Baileys or Kahlua can also work wonders for hot cocoa. If you’re feeling particularly adventurous, mixing in some tequila, chili powder and cinnamon makes for a delightful Mexican-inspired hot chocolate worthy of Montezuma himself. If all else fails, you can never go wrong with a shot of Jack Daniels in your hot chocolate for that added zing. Mini marshmallows are not a necessary addition, but depending on how much booze you spike your cocoa with, they might just become more amusing.

Hot buttered rum

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Made with honey, hot tea and whiskey or brandy, a hot toddy is a classic cold weather cocktail.

While it sounds a bit like a suggestive food euphemism, hot buttered rum is a classic coldweather cocktail. Traditional preparation of this drink involves combining hot water, rum, brown sugar and a small amount of melted butter, but apple cider can substitute water for a more intensely flavored beverage. Any kind of rum will do for this drink, but I’ve found that the standard Sailor Jerry Spiced Rum is an excellent complement to the sweetness of the butter and sugar. If darker rums are more your style, Old Monk and Kraken Black Rum are excellent substitutes.

Boilermaker As I am a fan of whiskey, and also a marginally fanatic beer geek, this combo is naturally my favorite. A boilermaker, otherwise known as a “beer cocktail,” is ludicrously simple: A glass of beer and a shot of whiskey, and that’s the whole shebang. This arrangement isn’t necessarily restricted to the winter months, but I find myself craving whiskey more during this time of the year anyway, so combined with my love of beer, the formula is appropriate. Since winter is the season of dark beers, I typically resort to a hearty stout such as the Founder’s Breakfast Stout or Left Hand Milk Stout, and a shot of Jim Beam. Of course, if you are more sophisticated in your bourbon selection than I am, any brand of the stuff will suffice.

As far as the beer, I tend to stick to craftier brews, but any beer will certainly get the job done.

If you aren’t a fan of stouts and porters for your beer, I recommend a nice Sierra Nevada or even a Newcastle to accompany that shot of whiskey. Whatever liberties you take in your combining of beverages, you’re sure to feel the warm sinking into your belly right after that whiskey hits your system. Just be careful not to overdo it on the hard liquor, because some folks are a little more sensitive to the combination than others.

Irish coffee

Irish whiskey. Disregarding the somewhat racist implications of its name, the combination of coffee and whiskey is an age-old tradition that extends far beyond its Irish roots. While whiskeys such as Jameson and Glenlivet are typically the standard, any old whiskey will do the job right.

I’ve found that Seagram’s 7 mixed with a strong cup of black coffee makes for a delightfully buzzworthy beverage, but an added shot of Jack or Jim could achieve the same goal with equal success. Regardless of your feelings toward coffee, the mingling of its bitterness with that of whiskey makes for a drink that is simultaneously stimulating and relaxing.

Just don’t resort to this mix on a school morning, because getting buzzed before your morning class is a debatably alcoholic undertaking.

You can never go wrong with a stiff shot of bourbon to warm your bones in the winter, but there are a variety of cocktail options available to keep your blood pumping in the bitterness of the season.

Your daily routines of hot chocolate and coffee consumption can easily be amplified with the addition of booze for a more enjoyable drinking experience, which can ease the sometimes difficult adjustment into winter weather conditions. Armed with these recipes and the hope that spring will eventually make its anticipated appearance, you’re ready to confront the cold winter nights that still lay ahead. Just remember: when it comes to cocktails, a little whiskey goes a long way.

If you are a fan of coffee and/or Irish whiskey, this is the cocktail for you. Arguably one of the oldest mixed drinks in the book, this drink is literally nothing more Emily A. Brightman can be reached at ebrightthan a mixture of hot coffee and man@umass.edu.

B6

Thursday, February 6, 2014

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Ever think of how great your life would be if only your morning yogurt weren’t so boring?

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Feb. 19 - Mar. 20

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If the professor threatens to end class early, keep asking questions. Everyone will thank you for fulfilling what their tuition is paying for.

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Be healthful. Make sure that for everyone you Hovering over your coworker while they are see who doesn’t wipe down machines, you go doing work gives them a sense of importance wipe them down. and speed they were previously lacking.

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You would think that the makers of Bananagrams would realize that using real bananas would taste so much better.

Show all your classmates how much you care by putting a lock on all open cubbies that have backpacks and coats in them.

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Oct. 23 - nOv. 21

For some reason, everyone loves meaty pizza and sandwiches, but everyone objects when you make them a salami grinder.

Your day can be likened to the frozen ice cream cone that though dropped three days ago, has remained perfectly intact.

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If you’re ever feeling concerned about your place in the world, I’d suggest just throwing out the anch in the nearest doorway.

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Jun. 22 - Jul. 22

Having Froot Loops for dinner shouldn’t be this depressing.

Dec. 22 - Jan. 19

Avoiding gluten and carbs? Chicken fingers make excellent burger buns and sandwich rolls.