18 January 2016

a student newspaper of the university of tulsa

january 19, 2016 issue 13 ~ volume 101

HAPPY NEW YEAR! (you missed a lot)

President Obama’s State of the Union Address points to one regret: a lack of bipartisanship, p 7

Immature radicals drag women and children into line of fire to make point about land use, p 6

New Year’s Eve College Football Playoff semifinals provide thrilling end to season, p 9

Graphic by Elias Brinkman

The Collegian: 2

News

19 January 2016

Tulsa’s Little Light House expands programs

The Little Light House is a local organization that provides free education and resources to special needs children. It plans to expand its campus and programs in order to increase its effect in Tulsa and around the world.

Hannah Kloppenburg Commentary Editor

A light is growing brighter in the city of Tulsa—the Little Light House. The nonprofit organization, which provides resources to special needs children, is making efforts to expand both its campus and the profound effect it has in Tulsa.

“The Little Light House, as one of our volunteers tagged us, is truly ‘the happiest place in the world,’” says Director of Development Rachel Mouton. “We have been so blessed to see many children accomplish milestones and defeat the odds.”

The Little Light House provides resources to children and their families regardless of religion, race, gender or ability to pay.

The group’s mission is “to glorify God by improving the quality of life for children with special needs, their families and their communities.”

Children who are eligible for Little Light House programs usually have conditions such as Down Syndrome, Spina Bifida, Cerebral Palsy, Autism or blindness. They often come from families who could not afford to pay tuition at private schools catered towards special needs children.

“Many of our families have faced financial struggles due to medical bills and cost of equipment. Some families have even gone from a two-income family to one in order to care for their child,” Mouton says.

“Therefore, the Little Light House does not charge any tuition.”

The organization provides education and therapy services (including speech, occupational, physical and low vision therapy) to children aged birth to 6. The focus is placed on young children for a very important reason. “Studies have shown time and time again that early intervention is critical,” Mouton says. “By receiving services at an early age, children are often able to overcome challenges originally thought impossible.”

This is evident as Mouton shares one of her favorite moments working with the Little Light House: “Just a few months ago, we had quite the celebration in our administra-

tive offices when two little girls, ages 3 and 5, took some of their first steps in our building. It was so exciting! We all cheered for them while they proudly took independent steps with the biggest smiles on their faces!”

Little Light House volunteers and professionals not only possess the resources and training necessary to give special needs students a quality education- they also provide care and loving support.

Over its 45-year history, the Little Light House has made a lasting difference in the lives of hundreds of Tulsa area special needs students. The group has even made waves on a global scale, with an online classroom called The Little Anchor and a program which trains international interns. However, their Tulsa campus can only house so many students at a time.

64 students are currently enrolled. Unfortunately, 159 more remain on the program’s waiting list.

The Little Light House is currently in the midst of a nearly $20,000 renovation. The renovation consists of an addition to the current campus, including “eight new and larger classrooms, four training observatories, a large gym for physical therapy, a sensory room, assistive technology room and administrative offices.”

These updates will allow for more classes of an increased size, allowing the Little Light House to more than double its enrollment capacity. The observatories will allow college students, interns and professionals to learn how to work with special needs children. Also included in the renovation plans is the construction of a sensory garden for outdoor play and discovery. $15.4 million of the necessary funds have already been raised, but the Little Light House is currently working to raise the remaining $4 million needed for final renovations and the construction of the sensory garden.

When it comes down to it, why should Tulsans be interested in the Little Light House, and more generally, the education of special needs children? Mouton explains that involvement in this cause, and interest in the Little Light house, has a deeply profound impact.

“With our training programs, we are literally changing the paradigm of thinking when it comes to individuals with special needs. We are teaching people to see abilities, rather than disabilities.”

Those interested in donating or volunteering can call (918) 664-6746 or visit www.littlelighthouse.org.

courtesy Facebook / The Little Light House

The Little Light House has already received generous donations from Tedford Insurance, Wells Fargo and the Tulsa Vette Set.

Tuesday, January 19 at 7:00pm to 9:00pm Tyrrell Hall, Ellen G. Adelson Auditorium Humor and Poetry Lecture Dr. Suzanne Cleary of State University of New York at Rockland will be hosting a reading and discussion of her works.

The event is free and open to the public and McFarlin Library parking will be available. Professor Cleary’s presentation is co-sponsored by Nimrod and the Oklahoma Center for the Humanities.

Tuesday, January 19 at 9:00pm Lorton Performance Center, Meinig Recital Hall Ideas of Education, Public Diplomacy and America’s Image Guest speaker Justin Hart of Texas Tech University will speak on “Ideas of Education, Public Diplomacy and America’s Image in the World.”

Hart, associate chair and associate professor of history, is the author of Empire of Ideas (Oxford University Press, 2013) and several articles and book chapters, including “Making Democracy Safe for the World: Race, Propaganda and the Transformation of U.S. Foreign Policy during World War II” (Pacific Historical Review, February 2004), which received the James Madison Prize of the Society for the History of the Federal Government and the W. Turrentine Jackson Prize of the Pacific Coast Branch of the American Historical Association.

The event is free and open to the public. Sponsored by the TU Center for Global Education and Tulsa Global Alliance.

Thursday, January 21 at 6:30pm to 8:30pm Lottie Jane Mabee Hall, Lobby

Jan. 2 2:20 p.m.

University of Tulsa campus Security officers were dispatched to a report of malicious vandalism at the West Park Apartments. Upon arrival officers identified a hole created in the wall of the apartment hallway and debris from thrown flower pots on the ground.

Officers learned from the Professional Staff Member (PSM) on the floor that the incident took place that morning. Someone had also vandalized a vehicle in the parking lot. A nearby resident identified their roommate’s friend, a non-TU affiliated individual as the suspect who vandalized the hallway. Further investigation is being conducted to identify the suspect and further information.

7:35 p.m.

University of Tulsa campus Security officers were dispatched to investigate two suspicious individuals walking around the University Square West Apartments. Officers arrived and located the two individuals who matched the descriptions. The two had recent TU contact cards and warrants. Tulsa Police Department was contacted to the location and one individual received a citation for trespassing and the other was arrested for an active warrant.

Jan. 3 1:15 p.m.

University of Tulsa campus Security officers were dispatched to the Brown Village

Apartments parking lot on report of a suspicious person walking around the lot. Officers made contact with the individual who was not a TU affiliate and they were been trespass warned. Officers escorted the individual off campus without further incident.

Jan. 4 3:20 p.m.

University of Tulsa campus Security officers were dispatched to the Mayo Village Apartments on report of possible stolen property. Upon arrival officers made contact with a student who reported having property taken from their room while they were away from the apartment. It was removed by cleaning staff contracted by the university to clean the room for a new tenant. Some of the property was later returned but other items are still missing at this time.

Jan. 5 8:20 p.m.

University of Tulsa campus Security officers were dispatched to Mabee East to receive found property. Upon arrival officers were given two cell phones that were found at the Reynolds Center after the basketball game. The owners could not be determined or located so the property was placed into the property locker for safe keeping.

The Collegian does not edit the Campus Crime Watch except for content and brevity.

Snobuccino Do you like free and unlimited coffee? Baristas from Topeca Coffee will be the main stars of the program as they serve drinks and teach about the differences in each of them. This event is open to all TU students.

Friday, January 22 at 7:00pm to 9:00pm McFarlin Library The Vaudeville Museum Join the Oklahoma Center for the Humanities as we continue our exploration of the topic “humor” with an informative and entertaining evening of Vaudeville history, perspective, and performance.

TU’s Director of the Musical Theatre Program Machele Miller-Dill directs this throwback performance with TU’s James Gregory, Musical Theatre specialist, on piano.

Performers include TU’s Adrian Alexander, McFarlin Library Dean as well as Rebecca Ungerman and other talented Tulsa community members. Some material may be offensive.Join us for an evening of humor and context exploring the era of Vaudeville.

A wine and cheese reception will follow the performances.

Co-sponsored by the Oklahoma Center for the Humanities at TU and the Musical Theatre Department. The event is free and open to the public.

Puppies!

Two Yorkie puppies free to good home.

Re-homing, AKC REG. Contact hwxtion01@gmail.com for more details.

News

19 January 2016

The Collegian: 3

Introducing Oxley College of Health Sciences Dean Clancy discusses the continued growth and development of TU’s newest college as well as plans for the new building.

Michaela Flonard Student Writer Last week, the Oxley College of Health Sciences opened its doors at its location downtown, on S. Boulder Ave. This college will pull together Communication Disorders and Sciences, Kinesiology and Rehabilitation Sciences, undergraduate and graduate Nursing and the School of Community Medicine, in partnership with OU. Dr. Gerald Clancy, who formerly worked as the president of University of OklahomaTulsa, is the Vice President of Health Affairs and now Dean of this new college.

The new college comes at a time when the US healthcare system is facing a growing elderly population and numbers of nurses and physicians are not meeting this demand.

According to Clancy, having the new building is essential because the previous facilities weren’t enough to expand.

Being downtown also allows the college to work closely with like-minded community agencies, like Big Brothers Big Sisters.

An important factor to the new building is the simulation center, which will host both hospital and clinic rooms.

These rooms will allow students to practice their skills on experienced actors, while faculty watch from outside.

The new building also houses the Oxley Clinics, a combination of a primary care, behavioral health, wellness program and legal clinic.

This clinic would see senior students working alongside clinicians. This experience reflects Clancy’s desire to have students “experience community and the lecture hall,” as he says he wants them to “see how messy and hard it is to get things done” in the community.

In addition to the Oxley Clinics, Clancy says some of the college’s research will be focused on how to shorten the gap between

average life spans in different parts of the city.

Work over the past ten years has shortened the gap from a 14 year difference to an 11 year difference.

Clancy believes that over the next ten years, more research will be done into “how mental illness plays into lifespan differences and what it takes across an entire city to change.”

Changing the lifespan difference will involve collaboration between different fields of study.

“Legal issues have huge implications for health,” Clancy said, pointing to housing issues in certain parts of town as an example.

Teamwork is also an important goal for the new college. To deal with the predicted shortage of physicians in the future, Clancy believes physicians will need to work primarily in teams, and the new college is set up in a similar fashion. As the college builds its plan for mental health issues, it hopes to be directly involved with various mental health programs around the city.

Another goal of the new college is to grow the number of health sciences students. To do so, the college is adding the graduate nursing program, and has modified the bachelor’s degree of exercise and sports sciences.

The program will now have seven different tracks, each for a specific job. A master’s degree program in Athletic Training is also being added as a result of changes on a national level.

While the college did not offer any courses this semester in the new building, Clancy hopes to have classes there in the summer, or at least by the fall. Most of these would be for juniors and seniors in the college.

According to Clancy, however, “there is a lot of interest in a history of medicine course,” as well as courses in collaboration with film studies, anthropology and computer science.

These courses could possibly deal with how film can promote health, or how big data can predict future health care needs.

During the semester, a shuttle will run between the main campus and the Oxley building.

Sammie Hottel Student Writer

Malnutrition plagues Syrian town of Madaya The United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) confirmed on Friday that severe cases of malnutrition among children were sweeping Madaya, a rebel-held town in western Syria currently under siege by pro-government forces.

At least thirty-two deaths from starvation occurred within the last month, after which the government approved an urgent relief request.

Relief workers from the United Nations and The Red Cross entered the town on Monday and Thursday, delivering the first aid the town has seen since October.

Additionally, the World Health Organization is planning to begin a vaccination campaign this week.

According to the United Nations, there are around 450,000 people trapped in siege locations across Syria, and U.N. Secretary General Ban Ki-moon called the use of starvation among the opposing factions a “war crime.”

Taiwan elects first woman president Supporters of Taiwanese Democratic Progressive Party presidential candidate Tsai Ing-wen gathered on January 15 in Taipei to wave flashlights and mobile phones, depicting Tsai’s motto “Light Up Taiwan.”

Opinion polls before the election placed Tsai far ahead of her opponent Eric Chu Liluan, who represents the Nationalist (Kuomintang) Party.

Tsai primarily focused her campaign on domestic issues, including employment, housing and modernization.

During the gathering she stated, “If I’m elected president, I’ll make the people’s voice the foundation of policymaking. Democracy is not just an election; it is our daily life.” Tsai is now the first woman ever to hold Taiwan’s presidential office.

Deadly terrorist attacks hit Jakarta, Indonesia Several militants attacked a local Starbucks on January 14 in Jakarta, the capital city of Indonesia. The attacks began when one attacker blew himself up at the coffee shop.

Shortly after, two other attackers outside the shop seized two hostages, a Dutch citizen and an Algerian citizen.

The attackers then opened fire on the street and later on the hostages. In response to the police, the attackers used a couple of grenades. Minutes later, two other attackers on motorcycles blew themselves up nearby.

At least two deaths have been confirmed and twenty-three were wounded. A total of five explosions occurred, and several other unexploded bombs in the area were discovered by police.

The Islamic State has officially claimed responsibility for the attacks. Five of the militants died during the attack, and a manhunt is currently underway for others involved.

North Korea calls for conclusion to peace treaty North Korean leader Kim Jong Un called for a conclusion to a peace treaty with the United States that would halt US military joint exercises with South Korea in exchange for an end to its own nuclear tests. The US currently has around 28,500 troops in South Korea.

When asked about the probability of the US conceding, US Department of State spokesman John Kirby said that the US had alliance commitments to South Korea, stating, “We are going to continue to make sure the alliance is ready in all respects to act in defense of the South Korean people and the security of the peninsula.”

While the State Department has expressed its desire to remain open to dialogue with North Korea, it has also maintained that “the onus is on North Korea to take meaningful actions toward denuclearization.”

Venezuelan inflation surges to 141 percent Venezuela’s economic troubles were confirmed when its central bank published economic statistics for the first time in a year. The inflation rate was reported to be at 141.5 percent, a drastic growth from 2014’s report, which placed it at 68.5 percent.

The bank cited several reasons for this downturn, including collapsing oil prices and currency manipulation done by websites that track the street value of the dollar.

The report was released just after economy czar Luis Sales was officially granted additional powers by President Nicolas Maduro that would allow him to dictate economic measures. One economist stated that this action was “mainly a political tool to put pressure on the opposition and try to share the cost of the crisis.” photo by Sara Douglas

The new Health Sciences building is located at 1215 S Boulder Ave.

Results from July 2015 Bar Exam

Variety

the Collegian: 4

19 January 2016

Elote’s Puffy Tacos a two dollar treat

graphic by Elias Brinkman

In this new column, Managing Editor Fraser Kastner will review cheap food deals around town on behalf of broke college students everywhere. This week, Fraser and Student Writer Adam Lux explore $2 Puffy Tacos at Elote.

In the interest of full disclosure I should begin this review by mentioning that I am personal friends with the assistant manager at Elote.

His name’s Andrew, we’ve known each other since high school, and we both know enough bad stuff about each other to leave us at a curious social stalemate where each of us only says nice things

about the other. But don’t fret, reader, for I was a patron of Elote long before my incredibly handsome friend started working there, and my first experience with Puffy Tacos, all those years ago, was untainted by the bonds of friendship.

To get the full Elote experience I went with friend and fellow Collegian writer Adam Lux, as well

David Bowie passed away just days after the release of his final album, Blackstar.

The artist’s parting album is reflective and suitably morbid.

in the musical world. At the halfway mark, the track transitions from somber, almost occult-like declaration to gleeful narcissism.

“You’re a flash in the pan,” he sings. “I’m the great I Am.” This transition will be echoed largely by the album itself, whose later songs retain Bowie’s reflection but carry an ironically cheerful tone.

Meanwhile, “Lazarus” places emphasis on the apparent futility of his life as he approaches its end. The music video, which was released as a teaser for the album in December, features Bowie lying in a hospital bed, a bandage with two beady eyes obscuring his vision. Sickly and writhing he sings, “Oh, I’ll be free… just like that blue bird,” and “Look up here, I’m in heaven.”

In Blackstar, Bowie proves his ability to try something new, with a fair bit of reference and homage to his past career. When he was younger, Bowie had a swagger to his tone and presentation, earning him the title of the “Thin White Duke.”

In his previous album, The Next Day, Bowie could seem at times unaware of his need to adapt with his age, his warbled and weary vocals often contrasting harshly with the lyrics themselves. This time around the artist makes clever use of his aged voice, producing lyrics that are fittingly morbid.

Supporting him is the Donny McCaslin Quartet, Donny himself providing the saxophone accompaniment to one of Bowie’s re-recorded songs, “Sue” (or “In a Season of Crime”). Bowie decided to add a new element to this album, jazz music.

He worked with saxophonist Donny McCaslin to create the upbeat jazz tune behind his dismal

as his friend Meghan, to $2 Puffy Taco night. The restaurant, located at 514 S. Boston Ave. in the heart of downtown, can best be described as a socially-conscious Mexican restaurant. Opened in 2008 by a native Tulsan, their website claims that the restaurant uses only local meats and fresh vegetables, does not add unnecessary fats, and uses biodegradable to-go boxes and cutlery. They even compost.

But none of that would matter if their food wasn’t so good.

And it is good. It’s great, in fact.

The restaurant’s signature dish, the Puffy Taco, consists of a soft, pita-like tortilla with black beans, lettuce, tomato, sour cream and either meat or sweet potato. The Puffy Taco comes in four varieties; chicken, pork, beef and veggie.

On Wednesday night, Elote offers smaller versions of chicken and veggie Puffy Tacos for $2 each.

The chicken taco is good, if ultimately not terribly different from other chicken tacos, but the real star of the show is the veggie taco. I am a devout meat-eater, but I can tell that the Puffy Taco was designed with vegetables in mind.

As my friend Andrew pointed out, the sweet potato that replaces the meat adds a complexity of flavor

that is not present in the meatbased versions. I realize it may not be entirely kosher to quote a restaurant’s manager when doing a review, but he’s right. The sweetness of the sweet potato nicely offsets the starch and savoriness of the tortilla. The sour cream, of which I am not usually a fan, adds a nice twist at the end of the bite.

The lettuce and tomato add a little freshness to the flavor, as well as adding a crunch to the prevailing creaminess of the beans and sweet potato.

Is it worth the money? At only $2 per taco, I’m inclined to say yes. Depending on how hungry you are, it will probably end up being a little less than a regular meal at Elote, or about the same as dinner at the Hut. But be warned, the tacos are smaller on Wednesday night and the deal doesn’t include rice and beans. Still, it’s really good food, in a really cool part of town. All you need to do is find some really cool people to take with you and you’ve got the makings of a lovely Wednesday night.

Mod’s Coffee and Crepes, across the street from Elote, offers $2 gelato on Wednesday night. So if you’re hungry for something sweet after your tacos you can

head over and try one of their myriad flavors. They have regular varieties, such as chocolate and stracciatella, a sugar and cream mix, as well as an ever-changing lineup of other flavors such as cookies and cream and mango. $2 gets you a small cup, but the stuff is so rich and sweet you won’t need much more than that. While you’re in the building, you can check out the sweet art-deco lobby in the Philcade and appreciate the assortment of old-school knick knacks in the Art Deco Museum.

Adam’s thoughts: Puffy Tacos are a singularly unique experience of texture. The fillings of the taco are perfectly seasoned and portioned but ultimately it is the tortilla that steals the show. The thick fluffy shell finally ends the soft vs hard shell taco debate by crowning itself as the victor. Carbaholics beware, this thing is good. If, after a wonderful dinner at Elote, you find yourself at Mod’s and want something a little unconventional I recommend the salted caramel gelato.

This sweet and salty dessert is for those of us who enjoy sticking french fries in our milkshakes and feeling superior compared to regular plebeians.

Blackstar offers goodbye from Bowie Trent Gibbons Student Writer

On Sunday, January 10, one of the world’s most beloved and influential artists, David Bowie, passed away. After a lifetime of creative innovation and dedication to music, the artist died at the age of 69. He had been battling liver cancer for 18 months, just enough time for him and his trusted team to create one last masterpiece.

Bowie had been working on a new album, entitled Blackstar, released only two days before his death. The album has a very dismal, eerie feeling to it; from the title—which evokes an astrological Satanic symbolism—to its seemingly meaningless, yet carefully selected imagery. Tony Viscoti, the producer, stated that Blackstar is Bowie’s “parting gift” to fans.

It’s rare that an artist has the opportunity to face their mortality with such a level of clarity.

Bowie had been working on this album since the discovery of his cancer and recorded it in just three months.

He knew his death was imminent; yet he was simultaneously aware of the fact that his status as a pop culture icon would, in a way, immortalize him.

This contradiction is explored extensively in the album. “Blackstar,” the opening track, at times seems a twisted celebration of his fame, a well-earned self proclamation of his impressive reputation

courtesy RCA Records

The video for the Blackstar single “Lazarus” features Bowie in a hospital bed, singing about his eventual death.

vocals. The saxophone is an incredibly fitting addition to many of these songs, and quite possibly a sentimental one as well—it was Bowie’s first instrument.

In many of the tracks, the would-be upbeat jazzy tunes are often distorted into a digitalsounding backdrop for Bowie’s haunting vocals. His voice has progressed, as well. Listening

closely you can hear the sickness and aging in his voice, which adds to the tone of the album. Another re-recorded track, “Tis a Pity She Was A Whore,” now opens with his own rasping breathing, a chilling reminder of his poor health.

Blackstar is something of a musical experience. With his parting album, Bowie did not try to delay the inevitable or grasp at some last

minute of fame. He was notorious for wrestling with personal issues in his music, such as in “Man Who Sold the World,” where he conveyed what he believed to be the onset of a dissociative disorder.

With Blackstar he addressed his fears, anxieties and miraculous career with a record that is both a somber goodbye and a celebration of his life.

Everyone’s favorite existentialist nightmare is back to keep you on track with your New Year’s resolutions.

our star is: who cares! You are, in all likelihood, going to fail. Failure is the base of human existence.

Humans fail all the time, at their job, at school. Humans fail on a day to day basis to just not be dicks to one another.

It’s interesting how we worry ourselves so much about eating marginally healthier yet we give little thought to the idea of attempting to not be an ass to other people.

But go on and eat your kale.

Even if you, by the cold coincidence of destiny, somehow uphold your resolution (not that you really have a choice in the matter) it doesn’t mean anything anyway.

We all, in our small lifetime, will do some amount of good and some amount of bad (all based on an arbitrary set of rules) and if we’re lucky we won’t make life

miserable for too many folks.

When we die the world will move on. Our great-grandchildren won’t even know our name. The world will be no different and all will feel pain. You cannot avoid this, only hide from it as much as possible.

So this New Years season take comfort in the fact that you are unimportant. Think about how the fate of the human species is predetermined toward non-existence and that there’s nothing to be done about the universe’s preference for the disordered!

Reflect on the idea that your existence isn’t an accident, it’s less than an accident. Accident implies that there is someone who notices it happened. But most of all, always remember, and never forget, that nothing ever changes and SO CAN YOU!!!

Nothing ever changes and SO CAN YOU Adam Lux Student Writer

graphic by Elias Brinkman

The sun knows no difference on January 1. In fact if the sun had a consciousness I doubt it would notice the inhabitants of our small planet at all. And yet come that fateful first day, we fuss and concern ourselves about that intangible, ineffable, wholly unmalleable thing known as change.

My advice for those of you looking to achieve some type of personal improvement in this new positioning of the earth relative to

Variety

the Collegian: 5

TU Ten: boozy board games

19 January 2016

Steven Buchele Student Writer

Board games are fun. So are drinking games. So by Seichen’s law of additive enjoyment, drunk board games are a blast. But some board games have complicated rules as it is, and really, what kind of hooch pairs well with a five hour game of Monopoly? Well fear not dear reader, because once again, the Collegian has your back! Here are ten recommendations for your board game boozing!

Monopoly.

Our recommendation: Rum. Monopoly’s an... interesting experience for a lot of different reasons, one of which is that it simulates all those fun things you’re going to have to do after college like pay bills, take out mortgages, live for a whole month on $200 dollars in a neighborhood you already can’t afford, and of course, deal with a corrupt, self interested, lying, cheating son-of-a-banker.

Why not do it in the state you’ll wish you were in when you have to do those things for real: absolutely plastered.

Rules: Fill up your cup whenever you pass GO, take a sip any time you have to pay any money to anyone, drain your cup when you have to go to jail.

Catan.

Our recommendation: Double Malt Wheat Whisky.

Catan is a great game, it’s even better with alcohol. When people are still a little buzzed they’re more likely to trade with you so you can build your roads faster.

When they’re positively sheepfaced drunk they won’t notice if you happen to... “procure” a stone from their hand.

And when they’ve passed out in the face of the oncoming winter that is sure to kill the woefully unprepared dark-age settlers, well, at that point it’s just the last man standing. Plus, if Catan is the only board game you play, the whisky will make the 50th game a whole lot more bearable.

Rules: trade in two wheat or six of any other resource for a shot of Whisky. Drink it or give it to somebody else to drink, your choice.

King of Tokyo.

Our recommendation: Sake.

Ah Tokyo, home of Japanese efficiency, Tokyo Tower, and Godzilla. Sipping warmed nihonshu as massive monsters ravage the city and each other is sure to give that spark of class to this game, which is essentially battle yahtzee.

Not that you need class when you’re a thousand foot tall mechadragon pummeling a kraken into the ground, but it couldn’t hurt. Plus when some of the other players start getting red in the face you might be able to watch a real life tussle between monstrous egos.

Rules: Take a drink for every heart you have on your final reroll.

Also take a sip anytime you take damage.

Dominion.

Our recommendation: Beer.

This classic deck building game has you trying to build a tiny little medieval fiefdom into a respectable kingdom that history will remember forever. Sometimes when a player has a chain of cards it might feel like the long stretches of Æfteraliða waiting for the harvest to come in, and a drink to pass the time would be great.

Well according to the tour guide at stirling castle in Scotland, daily wages included 24 pints of beer, so evidently they pair well with the labors of feudalism.

Rules: Crack open a new 24oz can of beer every round. If you don’t finish it by the time the next round starts, the king is just going to tax the piss out of you anyway.

never the same after WWI and neither should your life be. You need something cultured, refined, historied to sip as you scheme and plot with and against your former friends: a wine from the first year of the war then is probably your best bet.

Sip it slowly with dignity as you try to convince Russia that he really should abandon the defence of St. Petersburg and focus on attacking the Ottoman Empire.

Rules: Winner doesn’t have to help pay for the wine, which is currently 3,800.00 Euro. But remember: it’s only a win if it’s a solo win.

Magic: The Gathering Our recommendation: Monster and Vodka blended with ice.

This will make your games more exciting right quick. If you’ve ever wanted to live out those old TV shows where losing a card game could literally mean losing your life this is the way to do it. Plus being drunk might actually make losing to a 32/32 lifelink deathtouch trample behemoth fun.

Rules: Take a swig every time

your opponent swings at you.

Cosmic Encounter Our recommendation: A wide variety of neon colored cocktails.

The more that you can make this game seem like you’re sitting in a wild and rowdy bar in the Star Trek universe, the better. With a huge amount of player interaction and more than a few secrets floating around the table, libations should be plentiful and exotic.

Have a cherry red drink for when you exterminate every living thing on the red player’s planet.

Have a blue drink for when you sneak a colony into the the blue player’s system. Or imagine that your emerald green cocktail is the green blood of our enemies as you sip it after a successful defence of your system.

Rules: Take a drink of a similarly colored drink whenever you fight against a player, either as a main player or an ally.

Exploding Kittens Our recommendation: Schnapps This is a silly game so it needs a silly sounding liquor to get you

blasted. Strategy has basically no part in this game so you needn’t worry about your diminishing mental faculties as the games roll by. If you can find a happy drunk who will coo at the art and miss the exploded kittens, that’s the way to do this one.

Also if you can grab the NSFW you might find yourself laughing again and again at the bonkers cards. My favorite is the Pope of Nope.

Rules: any time a cat explodes take a shot.

Risk Our recommendation: Everclear, Moonshine, the strongest stuff you can legally obtain, whatever it is.

Look, you chose to play Risk, not only a game of attrition but the game of attrition. This is squarely your fault. And trust me I’m doing you a favor. I’m shortening the game time by at least 4 hours.

Plus the winner has always been the last man standing... er... mostly vertical.

Rules: Every time you lose a troop take a sip.

Diplomacy Our recommendation: Chateau Lafite Rothschild 1914.

Clearly you’ve decided to go big or go home if you chose to play Diplomacy, the game of World War 1 where all the casualties are your friendships. The world was

graphic by Madeline Woods

Year in review: best albums of 2015 2015 saw a wide range of new albums from both established artists and new ones. Here’s the Collegian’s roundup of the best artists and albums of the year.

Savannah Deweese Student Writer This past year in music was largely characterized by innovation. Whether it was an up and coming Atlanta City rapper featured on a heavily 80’s influenced atmospheric art-pop album or a new wave of contemporary jazz— this year saw it all.

Some oldie but goodies fell short of expectation while new artists climbed the ranks with top reviewers like Metacritic, Pitchfork, and Youtube’s Anthony Fantano. Following is a list of my 5 best put-downwhat-you’re-doing-and-listento-it-right-now albums of 2015.

If there’s one thing everyone in the critic world seems to be agreeing on this year it is Kendrick Lamar’s release of To Pimp A Butterfly. The album absolutely deserves best rap album of the year but speaking generally and objectively it wasn’t as impressive or innovative over-

all as some of this year’s other releases. To Pimp a Butterfly is a great album and a fantastic follow up to the huge hit good kid, m.A.A.d. city. Top tracks on this album are “u,” “alright” and “The Blacker the Berry.”

Jamie XX, of the xx, released a full length solo debut album this year titled In Colour. This album is sublime from the production to the features to the groovy 80’s influenced track lines. Top tracks on this album are “Sleepy Sound,” “Girl” and “I know There’s Gonna Be (Good Times)” which features Young Thug.

Leon Bridges released his debut album Coming Home.

Bridges is a retro-soul artist whose smooth vibe and sweet melodies harken back to legends like Sam Cooke and Otis Redding. Following the release of his album he was featured on the Macklemore track “Kevin,” which may have been the best collaboration of 2015. Tracks to look out for on this album are “Better Man” and “Smooth Sailin’.”

Indie folk artist The Tallest Man on Earth released what might be his most wholesome feeling album, Dark Bird Is Home this year. Tallest Man on Earth is most noted for his

lyrics, which read and sound like poetry and this album is no exception. Accompanied with passionate vocals and intricate acoustic melodies each track on this album takes the listener through a uniquely moving emotional experience. Tracks to meditate to off of this album include but are not limited to “Darkness of the Dream”, “Sagres” and “Seventeen.”

Lianne La Havas, singer songwriter whose influences stem from jazz and pop, released her sophomore album Blood. Lianne is a talented vocalist and guitarist but she is most interesting for combining bubblegum pop aesthetics into her already slow, jazzy, soulful tracks without losing meaning or direction with the album as a whole. Standout tracks on this album are “Never Get Enough” and “Green & Gold.”

Other noteworthy albums to check out are Poison Season by Destroyer, Currents by Tame Impala, The Epic by Kamasi Washington, Carrie & Lowell

by Sufjan Stevens, as well as Sometimes I Sit and Think and Other Times I Just Sit by Courtney Barnett.

“twenty-one plus” Custom cocktail creations and accompanying critiques presented by TU’s own hobbyist mixologist.

Sara Douglas Student Writer The Joker 2 oz. tequila reposado ½ oz. pomegranate liqueur ½ oz. blue curaçao ½ oz. lime juice ½ oz. grenadine 2 tsp. egg white dash of bitters lime twist Shake all ingredients vigorously over ice until foamy.

Strain into glass tumbler and garnish with lime twist.

Drink this if: sour candies are your go-to sweet treat. A variation of a tequila sour given a fruity twist by the pomegranate and orange liqueurs, The Joker is a delectably smooth but strong drink that features lime as its most prominent flavor. The shaken egg white lends a creamy texture, and an ethereal purple color is created by the grenadine and blue curaçao.

photo by Sara Douglas

Oregon militia:

The Collegian: 6

Commentary

19 January 2016

Almost unbelievably naive

Despite delusions of grandeur, the Oregon Militia headed by the Bundy brothers is a joke, and shows what happens when you try to fight perceived tyranny in a privileged society.

Fraser Kastner Managing Editor

Whenever a large group of middle-class white people in their 40s gather and complain about their lives not being easy enough, I’m reminded of a child

way of airing one’s grievances if it wasn’t so goddamn terrifying.

Swelling their ranks are a motley crew of ranchers, mostly from out of state, who are sympathetic to their cause and presumably have a wealth of free time and weird ideas about how democracy works.

If the name “Bundy” rings a bell, that’s because the brothers are the sons of Cliven Bundy, a Nevada rancher who took part in another armed standoff in 2014 after he grazed his cattle on federal land but didn’t feel the need to pay the attendant fees. The federal government backed down, but not before a video of Bundy voicing some interesting views about “the Negro” surfaced online. At any rate, his sons seem to have made it their business to fix the problems they see in the way the federal government uses its power.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with that, but going straight for the armed standoff route isn’t a highly advisable or sustainable model.

Ammon Bundy, one of the two leaders of the Oregon militia.

throwing a temper tantrum on Christmas morning because their parents bought them the wrong color iPhone. And just as it’s best to ignore the kid until he gets tired and starts playing with his new toy anyway while you contemplate your failures as a parent, you can usually wait these sorts of things out until they go back home. Really, none of these people are even remotely prepared to stage a revolution. If you don’t believe me, ask the Tea Party.

It’s looking like that’s going to have to be the case with the militia that has occupied buildings on an Oregon wildlife refuge. If you haven’t been paying attention, Ammon and Ryan Bundy have formed a militia that came to the aid of the Hammonds, two ranchers convicted in 2012 of setting fire to public land adjacent to their property in the ironically named town of Burns, Oregon.

The two had already served time, but were ordered to go back to prison because they had not served the mandatory minimum for the terrorism statute under which they had been convicted.

This, along with a general displeasure toward federal land use popular among western conservatives, attracted the Bundy brothers, who brought a few of their friends and a lot of guns and decided to camp out in the temporarily unoccupied Malheur National Wildlife Refuge.

When I say “a few friends” I actually mean “the roaming band of right-wing militiamen who travel around the States picking fights with the government over federal land use.” No, I’m not kidding.

One might say that this is a laughably childish and ineffective

But aside from some generalized bitching about “tyranny” and other such stock phrases, it’s hard to get a clear picture of what their cause is. The Hammonds went on record saying they didn’t want anything to do with the militia before reporting to court for sentenc-

graphic by Elias Brinkman

This is an artist’s depiction of a sign that might as well be hanging outside the occupied federal wildlife reserve.

sidering we only have the one. The ranchers who’ve rallied around the Bundys certainly don’t seem to be in danger of losing their way of life if they can safely take weeks off from work to go take part in an armed standoff.

Furthermore, I’m not sure that these people know what the word tyranny even means. They claim to live under an oppressive government, and yet they have been allowed to run roughshod over this county while the Fed twiddles its thumbs for fear of turning this into another Waco.

If we lived under such an oppressive government the entire complex they’re occupying would

courtesy Wikimedia commons

have been reduced to smoldering ash by a drone strike before anyone heard of it in the first place.

This is not to say that there are no oppressive or unfair or outright corrupt power structures in our country, it’s just that none of them target middle-class white people.

standoff with a group of die-hards.

Seeing the cops treat these people like Black Lives Matter protesters get treated is a tempting idea, but it turns out it’s a little more complicated than that.

Not only have the cowboys and self-styled liberators brought their guns, some of them have also brought their families. A recent New York Times article featured a little girl, apparently one of many children who have been brought by their families to learn about freedom and land rights. It becomes easier to understand the government’s reluctance to crack down when any action carries the possibility of injuring or killing innocents.

The fact that some of these people have brought children seems to indicate a peculiar mindset on the part of the occupiers. Presumably they are ready to kill and die for their cause, as evidenced by their many weapons currently trained on federal law enforcement. But they’ve also brought their wives and children.

Does this mean that they’re prepared to sacrifice the lives of their loved ones as well as their own?

Do the women and children create a shield of potential collateral around them? Are the lives of children really an acceptable price to pay in the name of a land dispute?

Perhaps the occupiers think so, but somehow I suspect that something else may be at work here. I think that, when it comes right down to it, none of these people have really thought these things through in their entirety.

Deep, deep down, many of these people don’t understand the potential consequences of their actions. Sure, they do a lot of grandstanding about the nature of freedom and how it’s better to die on one’s feet yada yada, but I don’t think they actually expect that to happen. In order to drag one’s

“These are people who think you can solve any problem by pointing enough guns at it” ing, so it’s not like they accomplished much there.

While watching the videos the group put online I heard soundbites about the “voice of the people” being ignored by the tyrannical federal government, but the irony is that the citizens of Burns have outright refused to join them, in spite of many sharing their views about land use. In fact, they’ve been pretty vocal about asking them to leave. Schools were closed for a time, people have been working from home, and many are afraid to leave their houses.

So what, really, do these people think they’re going to accomplish?

Their main beef seems to be with the Bureau of Land Management in Washington. This is a sentiment shared by many in the Western states, where the federal government owns a lot of land and regulates its use pretty harshly. Many feel that the government-mandated environmental regulations hurt rural businesses like mining, logging and ranching.

I’m inclined to say that this regulation is for the greater good. I don’t claim to fully understand the issue, but it seems like preserving the planet should be pretty high on our list of important projects, con-

Much has been made of the government’s perceived leniency on this issue. As I mentioned earlier, federal law enforcement tends to handle these sorts of situations because of how quickly they can go south. The Branch-Davidian standoff in Waco is a frequentlycited example of what happens when you mishandle an armed

child and spouse into what one claims to believe to be a potential battleground you either have to be a complete, irredeemable fanatic or impossibly naive about the nature of an armed standoff. I’m inclined to think it’s the latter, given their belief that they are oppressed while it’s obvious to everyone else that they’re being handled with the

utmost delicacy so as not to startle the fragile occupiers.

In the end, the issue at stake here isn’t about federal land use, or mandatory minimums, or even whether or not it’s okay to occupy federal land. It’s not even an issue about whether or not these people are being treated too nicely, since I won’t presume to tell the Department of Justice how best to handle an armed standoff. The issue in question is whether or not a pseudo-insurgency like this has any power at all to effect social change. And they don’t. It’s no secret that the Oregon militia is pretty widely mocked, as evidenced by the Bundy brothers erotic fanfiction springing up on Twitter and the packages of sex toys they keep receiving from mischievous people with too much time on their hands.

Their problem is that, in modern times, you don’t really get to construct your own narrative. The Oregon militia may think of itself as a second-wave American Revolution, but if no one else thinks so then it doesn’t matter what they say or do. They simply won’t be taken seriously until they actually start shooting, which I sincerely doubt most of these people have the balls to do. And even if they do start shooting they’re not guaranteed to gain much support.

Sure, some die-hards might join up, but they would probably just alienate the general public even more than they already have. And despite their claim to want to reform land use laws, not one single policy suggestion or reform idea has been suggested. It’s almost like they didn’t actually think this thing through.

These are people who think you can solve any problem by pointing enough guns at it, which isn’t actually that great of a persuasion tactic in that as soon as you relax you’re going to lose all the ground you’ve taken and suddenly have to deal with the consequences of your actions.

No, in the end the feds are gonna put on kid gloves, gently coax the occupiers out like they’re scared puppies in a rainstorm, and then club them all to death with subpoenas. Because as it turns out, our country has nonviolent institutions that deal with these exact situations so that we don’t have to worry about an armed insurrection every time some asshole doesn’t feel like paying his taxes.

courtesy Wikimedia commons

Headquarters at the Malhuer National Wildlife Refuge, one of the buildings currently under the control of the Oregon militia.

Commentary

19 January 2016

The Collegian: 7

Obama calls for reduced partisanship

President Obama preached bipartisanship in a rousing State of the Union address.

However, the speech is historically ineffective at impacting legislation. This year’s address seems no different.

Justin Guglielmetti Student Writer “The state of the union is strong.”

It was with those words that President Barack Obama ended his eighth and final State of the Union address on Tuesday. The words were rousing and cathartic for a nation that has recently faced confusion and fear, whether it be of terrorist attacks, undocumented immigrants, or seizure of firearms.

In a microcosm of Mr. Obama’s presidency, the opinions regarding his speech differed sharply along party lines but the strength of his convictions and the eloquence of his words could not be denied.

President Obama was not shy in touting the various accomplishments of the nation under his two terms, whether they were owed directly to him or not.

As such, the assassination of Osama bin Laden, eradication of Ebola, opening of relations with Cuba, lowering of gas prices and

Nevertheless, he did also take the time to offer his opinions regarding certain Republican presidential candidates, notably Donald Trump and Ted Cruz, by dropping some not-so-subtle references to their political campaigns.

Mr. Obama attacked Trump and his bombastic claims about “making America great again” by invoking the sentiment of Lincoln that greatness cannot be achieved by adhering to the “dogmas of the quiet past” but rather with progress and innovation.

As for Cruz, the president used the former’s poorly thought out idea of “carpet-bombing” ISISheld territory, regardless of what that would mean in terms of civilian casualties, as an example of a response that the United States cannot afford to provide when answering certain big questions on the global stage.

Of course now that the speech has been given, the logical question of “what comes next” remains. For all the pomp and significance afforded the State of the Union address in the public eye, it has historically been quite ineffective in terms of impacting legislation.

The president almost always praises his performance and reaffirms the quality and preeminence of the country while the other party must by necessity disagree and in so doing justify the existence of their differing political viewpoints. This year’s reaction was no different.

By this I refer not just to the official Republican response given

by South Carolina governor Nikki Haley but the more general reaction from Republicans both during and after the speech.

Speaker of the House Paul Ryan

“Opinions regarding his speech differed sharply along party lines” lessening dependence on foreign energy, rebounding of the economy from the Great Recession, implementation of the Affordable Care Act, and acceptance of the Trans-Pacific Partnership and Iran Nuclear Deal were all touched upon.

Despite all his accomplishments, he was also careful to avoid appearing overly partisan, preaching a message of unity and cooperation that extends beyond one’s individual political views.

President Obama even shouldered some of the responsibility for the lack of progress and civility in Washington, something that he has been mostly hesitant to do over the past eight years, expressing the fact that the “rancor and suspicion between the parties has gotten worse” as one of the great regrets of his time in office.

It was a big reach across the aisle to a party that has made it its mission to dogmatically oppose many of the president’s policies and a great credit to Obama as a statesman.

looked for just about anything to slam the address, saying Obama’s comments directed towards candidates like Trump and Cruz “degraded the presidency” while maintaining that the president was “divorced from reality” on matters like the economy and the Middle East.

Chris Christie said that he “watched story time with Barack Obama” during Thursday’s Republican presidential debate, while Ted Cruz was “heartbroken” that the American Naval officers being held in Iran went without mention, and Jeb Bush insisted that despite Obama’s assertions of military and economic might, our friends and foes no longer see any reason to respect and fear us.

During the address itself, President Obama’s political opponents noticeably remained seated during standing ovations when such controversial topics as gay marriage and climate change came up. In the end there seemed to be no indication whatsoever that the sides are ready and willing to come together for the good of the country.

President Obama answers questions at the town hall meeting in Baton Rouge.

Obama’s “common sense” gun laws are worth the costs President Obama delivers the 2016 State of the Union Address.

Though Obama’s proposed gun laws may not be a total solution to gun violence, they are steps in the right direction and make intuitive sense.

James Whisenhunt Student Writer President Obama’s January 5 speech on gun violence was very emotionally charged, as he began to cry near the end of the speech while remembering the shooting in Sandy Hook Elementary.

For a president that has been criticized in the past for being rather unemotional and detached in the face of disaster, it made his display even more powerful and expressed a far-reaching and profound effect of gun violence.

The main point of his speech was to outline four basic ways he will work for the rest of his term to help lessen the rate of gun violence in the United States.

These actions include closing background check loopholes for online sales as well as hiring more people to process checks and prosecute unlawful owners. He also plans on giving $500 million to increase access across the nation to mental health services (Obama notes that 2/3 of instances of gun violence are suicides) and working with the private sector to further research on safe gun technologies. Obama mentioned one of

these technologies two days later in a town hall meeting he held: a gun that only fires when in a certain proximity to a chip found in a bracelet or ring.

Obama often refers to these solutions as “common sense,” and I am inclined to agree. These solutions are relatively simple and make intuitive sense.

To make background checks faster, get more people to do the checks. If 2/3 of gun violence is due to suicide, an unfortunate effect of mental illness, increasing access to mental health services allows people to seek treatment when they may not have been able to before.

Of course, in part due to the heavily partisan nature of gun concerns in the US, President Obama has been met with opposition on these initiatives.

all photos courtesy the White House

that are restricted in some aspects for public safety, such as not being able to yell “Fire!” in a theater.

He draws a parallel between this caveat and his proposed measures.

On the idea of these measures leading to eventual confiscation, Obama takes a humorous approach, calling it a conspiracy and asking theorists why he would wait until his last year in office to begin the process.

One of the biggest criticisms of the new measures is that they would not have stopped any of the previous mass shootings. President Obama notes that, even if these measures only bring deaths from gun violence to 28,000/year from 30,000/year, saving 2,000 lives is well worth the investment.

It will be inherently difficult to understand and appreciate the scope of these benefits, as they

Citizens asked Mr. Obama questions about gun violence and control at a town hall meeting in Baton Rouge, LA.

Some have said that these actions are an overreach of the President’s power, and others fear that this is the beginning of a slippery slope to gun confiscation. President Obama addresses both of these concerns in his speech and the town hall meeting.

On the idea of overreaching his power, Obama mentions other rights, such as freedom of speech,

are measured in lives saved, lives remaining unaffected by gun violence, people casually going about their days.

Even if there will continue to be mass shootings, inaction accomplishes nothing. As Obama notes, “I think it’s really important for us not to suggest that, if we can’t solve every crime, we shouldn’t try to solve any crimes.”

Commentary

The Collegian: 8

19 January 2016

David Bowie:

recognizing his art and his possible crime courtesy Marc Watheiu / Flickr

David Bowie, appearing in the cover art of his album Aladdin Sane.

It’s often difficult to accept the idea that public figures who are widely considered heroes can also have committed terrible acts. The key to accepting this and reacting responsibly is to acknowledge the complex nature of humans.

Tara Grigson Student Writer Every American human with a social media presence is likely aware that David Bowie died this past week after a battle with cancer, the severity of which was underestimated by the general public.

One minute, David Bowie was alive and no one was worried that that was going to change. And then he was dead.

David Bowie was trending on Facebook

and Twitter. Social media lit up with post after post of support and love and “Bowie changed my life” and “Bowie made it okay to be queer” and so on and so forth.

Certainly, Bowie’s willingness to play with gender and sexuality, beginning at a time when those things were hardly even talked about, was influential. He was widely beloved and made a show out of being queer–and his courage in that regard was likely life-saving for a lot of queer people who were trying to figure out how to live their lives before being queer was acceptable.

David Bowie was glamorous and brilliantly-talented and a pioneering artist and also, quite possibly, a rapist.

It’s hard to find traces of this on the internet–surprisingly hard, in fact. It is not mentioned in his wikipedia article. Most news outlets have not spoken out about it. It is hard to determine what did and did not happen. The general consensus seems to be that Bowie raped a 13-year-old girl backstage at one of his shows. Maybe Bowie thought she consented, but because she was 13 she was actually incapable of consenting. It is possible that he knew that and did what he did anyway. It is possible that she never even claimed to consent.

The details are very unclear. However,

it is probable that David Bowie, hero and artist, was also a rapist.

People seem very reluctant to accept this, or at least to consider its possible validity likely because they are uncomfortable with the idea that a person who so many people consider brilliant could also do something horrific.

There are a number of ridiculous memes floating around the internet that show artwork or an inspiring quote and after you have appreciated the quality of the art or the words, tell you that that art was created by none other than Adolf Hitler. These produce a level of cognitive dissonance, because it is so hard to wrap your head around the idea that a person who wrought so much needless destruction, who committed mass genocide, could also produce something beautiful.

Bill Murray is one of my favorite celebrities. He is funny and weird and he was in the cast of SNL between 1976-1979 (the golden years). Bill Murray was also accused of perpetrating domestic violence. I love Bill Murray the artist - I love the things he produces, I love his creative mind, I love the movies he is in. I do not love Bill Murray the abuser.

We want to under-complicate people - to put people in one box. Surprisingly, this is rarely effective. OJ Simpson’s likely mur-

der of Nicole Brown Simpson does not take away any of his touchdowns. He can be both a football player and an accused murderer.

Adolf Hitler was a murderer who produced beautiful art. Bill Murray hit his wife and also appeared in Ghostbusters. David Bowie was quite possibly a rapist who also starred in Labyrinth.

People do not fit in one box, regardless of how famous they are. If people cannot be placed in one single category, regardless of their fame or infamy, then it is fair to say that anyone can be an abuser.

If David Bowie, hero to so many, could be a rapist, so could anyone else. People who are abusers do not come with flashing lights and an “abuser” sign. People who hurt other people are still people; they are people with entire lives, they are people who make art and music and light, they are people who maybe save others’ lives, who maybe make the world more beautiful in a lot of ways.

And they are also abusers.

There is a responsible way to respond to Bowie’s passing: we mourn the artist, we deplore the rapist, we accept that anyone is capable of abuse, we recognize the way humans are complicated, and we work to avoid victim-blaming and to increase our trust in the survivors of abuse, regardless of how we feel about the accused.

the fact that numerous psychological studies have shown that corporal punishment is not effective and can lead to mental health issues and criminal activity later on in life, it’s still questionable whether a fine system would be a valid form of punishment for students.

Sharp seems to believe that once students understand that their behavior will affect their parents, they will immediately cease causing problems. He also seems to believe that punishing parents for their children’s behavior may cause their parents to resort to the corporal punishment he is not allowed to use.

While I can absolutely get on board with Sharp’s aims to get parents more involved with their children’s education and to find ways to discipline students without taking them out of the classroom, I’m not sure a fine system is the best way to accomplish these goals.

It seems counterintuitive to use a fine system to both get parents involved and to discipline students. By punishing the parents, rather than the children, the system even further separates students from their behavior and the consequences of their actions. This takes part of the responsibility off of the student by undermining a school’s ability to discipline a student without going

through the family.

The bill would also allow “judges” to require community service or counseling instead of a fine. Honestly, this seems like a better option and it should be the default rather than an exception. Community service or counseling is a response that directly affects a student, and is more likely to get that student involved with the ramifications of their own behavior, especially if the community service is done for their own school.

Counseling is also a way to get parents involved with their children’s behavioral is-

sues and education. These two options are also way less likely to disproportionately affect poorer students the way a fine system would.

While Senate Bill 911 ultimately draws attention to the growing problem of discipline and parent disinterest in education, the proposed solution would not solve these problems in an effective way. Solutions need to engage parents in their children’s education, not just the punishment, and get students involved with their school community and the issues their own actions cause.

Fines for students’ parents are an ineffective solution

A bill proposed by Senator Ron Sharp would fine parents when their children misbehave in school.

Alternates such as counseling or community service would be more effective.

Abigail LaBounty Variety Editor With the onset of the new year, the Oklahoma legislature’s at it again, and the results are about what you’d expect. Senator Ron Sharp (R-Shawnee) proposed Senate Bill 911, which would fine parents for the misbehavior of their children in school.

According to Sharp, the loss of corporal punishment as an option for teachers has led to some of the worst behaved students the school system has ever seen. Setting aside

tucollegian@tucollegian.org

editor-in-chief

Giselle Willis managing editor

Fraser Kastner news editor

Kayleigh Thesenvitz sports editor

Matt Rechtien variety editor

Abigail LaBounty commentary editor

Hannah Kloppenburg satire editor

Caitlin Woods photo & graphics editor

Elias Brinkman

business & advertising manager

Paul Moses web manager

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distribution managers

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Sports

19 January 2016

The Collegian: 9

Playoffs see Tide win fourth title in seven years Coach Haith The second year of the College Football Playoffs offered a thriller between Alabama and the thenundefeated Clemson.

Wade Crawford Sports Writer

The first year of the College Football Playoff was a major success, giving college football fans a set of three championshipcaliber exciting games. The second year didn’t disappoint either, as four of the top teams battled it out for the title of national champion.

The two playoff semifinal games took place on New Year’s Eve despite concerns (later vindicated) about low viewership. Clemson pulled away from Oklahoma late to win the Orange Bowl, while Alabama hammered Michigan State in the Cotton Bowl. Thus, an instant classic between Alabama and Clemson was set.

Clemson was the only remaining undefeated team in the FBS, which led them to seek their first national title since 1981.

Highlights include a 2-point overtime victory against Notre Dame, 10-point victory against Florida State and an 8-point victory against North Carolina in the ACC title game.

Alabama’s title hopes seemed to be dashed early on, losing to Ole Miss at home.

However, they finished strong, with wins at Georgia, at Texas A&M, LSU and Florida in the SEC Championship Game.

The national championship game was a great matchup on paper—Alabama had a strong and physical defense, but they hadn’t faced a dual-threat quarterback on par with Clemson’s DeShaun Watson. In addition,

Clemson’s strong defense hadn’t faced a runner quite like Derrick Henry, the Heisman Trophy winner.

After a pair of punts to begin the game, Derrick Henry broke free for the first big play of the game, a 50-yard touchdown run.

Clemson tied the game again on the very next drive, as Deshaun Watson completed a 31-yard touchdown pass to Hunter Renfrow.

After an Adam Griffith missed field goal on the next Alabama drive, Clemson took the lead on the last scoring play of the first

Tiger drive.

The scoring opened up in the final quarter of play, as 40 total points were scored in the final fifteen minutes of the college football season. Griffith hit another field goal to tie it, then executed what is undoubtedly the play of the game. On the ensuing kickoff, Griffith hit a surprise onside kick that Alabama recovered to retain control of the ball.

The Crimson Tide wasted no time after that play, as Coker found Howard again, this time for 51 yards and a touchdown.

After a field goal made it 31–27 Alabama, the slugfest continued, with two touchdowns by each team. An Alabama kickoff return touchdown by Kenyan Drake was answered by an Artavis Scott touchdown reception; however, the two-point conversion failed, leaving Alabama with a 5-point lead. After courtesy Wikimedia Commons Henry ran for a touchquarter, as Renfrow caught his second down with just over a minute touchdown of the game. left, Watson passed to Jordan Leggett for a The only score of the second quarter last-second touchdown with just 12 seconds came on Derrick Henry’s touchdown run, left. Yet Clemson’s onside attempt failed, tying the game at 14. On Clemson’s result- and Alabama sealed the 2015 national title. ing drive, a clock issue seemed to take a Deshaun Watson carried the Tigers play away from the Tigers. However, the throughout the game, passing for 405 yards time mistake seemed to be inconsequential, and four touchdowns. Jake Coker had a as Greg Heugel’s field goal attempt was great game in his own right, passing for blocked by D.J. Pettway. Thus, a 14–14 tie 335 yards. However, the player of the game was taken into the locker room at halftime. likely goes to the tight end Howard, as he After Clemson was unable to move the burned the Clemson defense for 208 yards ball in their first drive, Alabama quarterback and two touchdowns on just five receptions.

Jake Coker passed to tight end OJ HowAfter a bowl season filled with blowouts ard for his first touchdown of the game, a and lower ratings, a close national title game highlight of his amazing game. Greg Heu- was desperately needed. Clemson and Alagel redeemed his missed field goal on the bama didn’t disappoint, as the 60-minute resulting drive, cutting the Alabama lead thriller was a perfect end to the college footto four. Clemson took the lead on a Wayne ball season.

Gallman touchdown run, capping a 60-yard

The Rams are gone. Now what?

The Rams moved to Los Angeles, leaving many fans in St. Louis without a team to support. What are they to do now?

Mason Morgan Sports Writer This is for everyone that, as of this week, doesn’t have a NFL team to pull for anymore. It’s not like the Rams have been good at all in the past decade, but still, it was something.

I grew up with most of my extended family living in St. Louis. The first year that I was self-aware as a human, the Rams won the Super Bowl. Two years later, they were in the Super Bowl again. As far as I knew, this was just a regular occurrence that would continue into my future. I was very very wrong. There are so many things that can go wrong for a franchise over the course of 15 years, such as injuries, bad coaching and Sam Bradford. Still, it was always fun to talk about Kurt Warner, Aeneas Williams, Marshall Faulk and the other members of the Greatest Show on Turf.

I wasn’t as upset as I thought I would be when it was announced Tuesday that the St. Louis Rams would now be the Los Ange-

les Rams. The writing was on the wall. The owner, Stan Kroenke, had already bought land in Inglewood months before the deal was made. He had already alienated himself from the local fans so much that, by the time it was put up for a vote, there was no way they were coming back.

It wasn’t even close to as painful, for me, as when Albert Pujols decided to move to LA. But it really kicked in when I saw the image of construction workers lowering the World Championship banner to the ground at the dome.

The way I see it, there are a few options to consider for future football fandom.

Option one: This one is simple, you just stay a Rams fan. You already know the team. You know who their sixth string linebacker is, why waste your time educating yourself on some other team? The Rams were a young and upcoming team with an awesome defense and a ridiculous rookie running back. You can still watch them on TV anywhere you go, it doesn’t matter whether they’re in St. Louis or Los Angeles or London for that matter. Your team is your team, stay loyal.

Option two: Pick a different team, option one is stupid. Screw the Rams and that traitor of an owner. Your quarterbacks were Nick Foles and Case Keenum, get out while

you can. I love promising offseasons as much as anyone, but going 7–9 or 8–8 year after year was starting to get really annoying. Jeff Fisher has as secure a contract as Bill Belichick, how does that make sense?

St. Louis Rams fans are in a unique position. They can pick any team they want without being labeled as a bandwagon fan.

You want to be a Vikings, Cowboys or 49ers fan? Go ahead, your team’s gone, you can do what you want. If you pick a team that’s relatively closer like Arizona or Kansas City, congratulations, you already made the playoffs. Look how much easier that was.

My recommendation would be to go with Arizona. They’re really good, they have Larry Fitzgerald who is awesome and if you’re from St. Louis, you probably already have Cardinals stuff.

Option three: Pro football is dumb, focus on your fantasy team or college football or something else. TU is good and getting better, Mizzou’s fine and OU and OSU are always up there. Imagine how much extra time you would have in your life if you hadn’t spent it worrying about the Rams’ offensive line. Focus more on your homework than who the Rams might get in the draft this year. They’re gone for good, and acceptance is the only option.

Seniors Bryce Robinson and Alex Lybarger took first in the 60 Meter Dash and Weight Throw respectively, in addition to freshman Cecilya Johnson who also took first in the Weight Throw.

Robinson’s time of 6.62 broke his previous record for third place on TU’s career 60yard dash, and gave him all top-five times in Tulsa history for the 60 Meter Dash.

Lybarger and Johnson’s throws, 17.41 and 16.74 meters respectively, were both good for second on TU’s career weight throw list for both men and women.

Emma Galbraith (3rd - 600 Yard Run), Paul Akintade (4th - Long Jump) and Otugo Ananaba (5th - 60 Meter Dash) rounded out

the other top-five finishers for Tulsa.

At their second meet, the Arkansas Invitational, the Golden Hurricane finished first in three different events, and had 17 top five finishes. Robinson and Johnson took first again, as well as freshman Bailey Stewart who won the Men’s 400 Meter Dash.

Robinson, Johnson and Stewart were joined by Han Kunsch, Grey Howard, Robert Tulley, Sabrina Monsees, Elijah Silva, Braydon Rennie, Galbraith, Ben Preisner, Lybarger, Akintade and Bayor Reese as top five-finishers.

The Golden Hurricane will look to build on their impressive open to the season next week at the Deloss Dodds Invitational.

Indoor track and field opens the season The track and field team opened up their 2016 indoor season with strong performances in meets in Kansas and Arkansas.

Matt Rechtien Sports Editor

The track and field team opened up its 2016 indoor season with strong performances in meets in Kansas and Arkansas.

To open up the season, the team traveled north on Jan 6 to compete in the Bill Easton Classic hosted by the University of Kansas.

The Golden Hurricane had three first-place finishers and six top-five finishes.

Monday

Tuesday

Men’s No Events Basketball@ East Carolina 6:00 p.m.

Wednesday Women’s Basketball@ Houston 6:00 p.m.

Thursday

No Events

cleared in NCAA report

The NCAA released the results of their investigation of violations at the University of Missouri, and Haith was not named in any of them.

Matt Rechtien Sports Editor Last Wednesday the NCAA released the initial results of their investigation into violations committed within the men’s basketball program at the University of Missouri during Tulsa Coach Frank Haith’s time there. While Missouri has self-enforced penalties of its own—forfeiting wins from the 2013-2014 season, a post-season ban for 2015 and the loss of future scholarships for basketball—the reports cleared Haith’s name from any wrongdoings.

The violations were committed by two donors and a former assistant coach at Missouri. The NCAA found Missouri guilty of Level I, Level II and Level III violations.

The first, a severe breach of contract, is described as “violations that seriously undermine or threaten the integrity of the NCAA collegiate model as set forth in the Constitution and bylaws, including any violation that provides or is intended to provide a substantial or extensive recruiting, competitive or other advantage, or a substantial or extensive impermissible benefit.”

In Missouri’s case a donor compensated members of the team for work that they didn’t actually perform in a summer internship program. The compensation included cash, iPads, meal and use of a local gym.

Level II violations, considered a significant breach of conduct, are “violations that provide or are intended to provide more than a minimal but less than a substantial or extensive recruiting, competitive or other advantage; includes more than a minimal but less than a substantial or extensive impermissible benefit; or involves conduct that may compromise the integrity of the NCAA collegiate model as set forth in the Constitution and bylaws.”

These violations were a result of another donor offering “friends-and-family” rates to players and their family for hotels and restaurants. A second Level II violation resulted from Missouri’s lack of vetting the internship that led to the Level I violation.

Finally a Level III violation is considered a breach of conduct “that is isolated or limited in nature.” These were a result of a former associate coach helping a recruit move by providing him with a donor’s number.

Scott Tompsett, Haith’s attorney, released a statement after the report came out saying that “Coach Haith cooperated fully with the investigation conducted by the NCAA enforcement staff and we have been informed by the enforcement staff that Coach Haith will not be charged with any violations and, therefore, has been cleared of any wrongdoings.”

“It has been Coach Haith’s position throughout this investigation that he acted appropriately at all times and that he monitored his program and promoted an atmosphere of compliance. The fact that the enforcement staff has not charged Coach Haith with any violations vindicates our position.”

He concluded by saying that, “Coach Haith wishes the best to the University of Missouri, its men’s basketball program and his former student-athletes in getting through this difficult time.”

Vice President and Director of Athletics, Derrick Gragg, responded to the report: “I read the details of the NCAA investigation of the men’s basketball program at the University of Missouri, and Golden Hurricane head men’s basketball coach Frank Haith was not named in any of the reports. Coach Haith has cooperated fully with the NCAA during this process and has not been accused of any wrongdoing during his tenure at Missouri.”

The only thing left to see now is whether the NCAA will add more to Missouri’s already self-enforced penalties.

: Jan 18–24 Friday

Men’s Tennis vs. Northwestern 2:00 p.m.

Women’s Tennis @ ITA Kick-Off

Saturday

Women’s Tennis @ ITA Kick-Off Men’s Tennis @ Illinois vs. Northwestern Women’s Basketball vs. Memphis 2:00 p.m.

Indoor Track DeLoss Dodds Invitational

Sunday

Men’s Basketball vs. UCF 2:00 p.m.

The Collegian: 10

Sports

19 January 2016

Checking in with Golden Hurricane basketball

photos by Greg Diskin

Clockwise from top left: Junior Pat Birt dribbles past a UConn defender in Tulsa’s 60–51 win over the Huskies on Thursday. Senior Ashley Clark goes up to the basket against Cincinnati on Wednesday night. The Golden Hurricane fell to the Bearcats 55–53. Sophomore Liesl Spoerl takes a rebound away from three Bearcat defenders. Shaquille Harrison surveys the court on a Tulsa offensive possession.

The men’s team had a good, but not great, out-of-conference record, stumbled at the start of conference play, and after a win over UConn, looks to make a push with the rest of their schedule.

Joseph Edmunds Sports Writer The Golden Hurricane men’s basketball team is approaching the middle of its regular season conference schedule, and has posted a 11–6 (3–2 American Athletic Conference) record so far.

As they wrapped up non-conference play, Tulsa won three of their four last non-conference games, with the wins coming against Iona (90–81), Missouri State 70–60), and Northern Arizona (90–55), all teams that Tulsa was expected to beat. The loss came on a road game at Oregon State, a 76–71 defeat to a team that has beaten a few good Pac-12 teams this season.

During this non-conference stretch, James Woodard, Shaquille Harrison and Rashad Smith each took a turn leading the Golden Hurricane on offense, and provided enough scoring when the defense was having an off day (such as giving up 81 points to Iona).

This far, Tulsa has played five non-conference games. They had a rough start, as they faced SMU first, who is the only remaining undefeated team in college basketball, and a then-No.22 ranked Cincinnati team. The Golden Hurricane dropped these games 81–69 to the Mustangs and 76–57 to the Bearcats.

Since those losses, though, Tulsa has won their last three games. The streak started with hosting East Carolina, which was a low scoring game, 55–43 in favor of the Golden Hurricane. They then travelled to play Tu-

lane in New Orleans. The offense got back on track in this game, putting up 81 on the Green Wave in a 81–67 victory.

The final win in this streak has been the biggest conference win for the team so far, a home victory against UConn. For the second year in a row, the Golden Hurricane took down the Huskies at home in front of a ruckus crowd at the Reynolds Center. The Huskies jumped out to an early 11 point lead, but Tulsa chipped away and managed to tie the score before heading into the locker room at halftime. The score was knotted at 26 at that point. UConn again took the lead at the beginning of the second half, this time by 8, but the Golden Hurricane were resilient.

They took their first lead of the game with less than 5 minutes remaining and didn’t look back. Tulsa came away with the 60–51 win, highlighted by Shaq Harrison throwing down an epic reverse dunk on an alley-oop feed from Rashad Ray. The win against the Huskies put Tulsa in sixth place in the conference standings.

Tulsa had a good, but not stellar, showing in non-conference play this season. As a result, the Golden Hurricane will need to play well in the rest of conference play and make a deep run, if not win, the conference tournament to hope to make the NCAA tournament in March. If the team could pull off a long win streak, similar to their 10 game conference win streak last season, it would be a great boost for their season resume in the eyes of the selection committee.

The women’s team has had a rough season, both in and out of conference thus far, but will look to bounce back with the large chunk of the conference schedule still to be played.

Joseph Edmunds Sports Writer This season has been a rough one for the Golden Hurricane women’s basketball team.

They have posted a 6–12 (3–4 American Athletic Conference) record to this point, and have struggled against both conference and nonconference opponents.

Their final three nonconference games included a game against a ranked Oklahoma squad, and Tulsa posted a 1–2 record over those three games.

The Oklahoma game was the final home non-conference game for the Golden Hurricane, and they fell 75–62. They fell behind early, and though they outscored the Sooners in the later parts of the game, the comeback fell short.

Tulsa then travelled to face the University of Arkansas at Little Rock, where they earned a 74–63 victory behind Ashley Clark tying her career high with 26 points.

However, they proceeded to drop their next game, 75–59, on the road against Northern Iowa.

That capped an underwhelming performance in nonconference play, and the team headed into their conference schedule.

The Golden Hurricane opened up conference play on a strong note, earning two victories in their first two games. They beat East Carolina and Southern Methodist each by two points, 81–79 and 56–54, respectively.

The short streak ended quickly when Tulsa travelled to Connecticut to face the Huskies, the No. 1 ranked team in the country.

That was a tough game, and the Golden Hurricane predictably fell to the undefeated Huskies, 95–35. After that game, they faced another tough road game, at Temple. They again fell, this time 66–46.

However, the team ended the three-game road trip on a positive note, as they travelled to Memphis and defeated the Tigers, 65–59.

After getting that win, though, the Golden Hurricane are currently on a two game skid, and both losses came at home.

First up was Cincinnati, who scraped out a 55–53 win, narrowly coming away with the road win. Then, Tulsa had a tough time handling the visiting Tulane Green Wave, and dropped that game 71–47.

This season, the Golden Hurricane hasn’t struggled with long losing streaks. Rather, they’ve only lost more than two games in a row once, but haven’t been able to string wins together.

In conference play so far, Tulsa has been able to come out on top of most of the close games, but has been in a few games where they have been significantly outmatched.

They sit at seventh in the AAC standings, and are going to need to come up with some sets of consecutive wins at some point during the rest of the season to move up in the conference.

Remembering the greatness: a look at Kobe’s career Kobe Bryant announced that this will be his final season playing professional basketball.

Justin Guglielmetti Student Writer Ever since Michael Jordan retired as the consensus greatest basketball player of all time, fans have sought for his replacement, the heir to his throne and the next to be called the best ever.

At the moment the primary challenger is LeBron James, with up-and-comers like Anthony Davis and Andrew Wiggins waiting in the wings for when age and mileage finally catch up to King James, which of course they will. As the old cliché goes, “Father Time is undefeated.” It’s something we’ve witnessed first-hand in the 2015-16 NBA season with the ugly demise of the original heir to Jordan’s throne: Kobe Bryant.

Kobe is a legend, a true basketball giant, the rare once-in-a-generation type of player who combines talent, toughness, and charisma to transcend his sport and become a mainstream celebrity. Even now, 37 years old and in his 20th season in a league dominated by the highest level of young talent in its history, he remains one of the faces and biggest draws of the NBA. It’s just too bad he has to go out like this.

The announcement that this would be Kobe’s last year before retirement was officially made a couple weeks ago, but any

knowledgeable parties could have told you nobody’s business and it’s just not going things were coming to a close long before down.

Watching him now is almost a sad affair. that. Their reasoning? Simply put, Bryant is putting together one of the worst high- He still looks young, remarkably similar to volume seasons in NBA history, a statement how he did 10 years ago, and in excellent shape. But then you see how his diminished safely made without hyperbole.

Sure there have been worse players to athleticism and creaky joints stop him from play an NBA game than the 2016 incarna- driving to the rim, how his always impeccation of Kobe Bryant, but have there been any ble footwork looks a step slower and more predictable, suiting up for 30 how he is unable minutes a game to get the lift to and getting paid complete his the highest salapatented turnry in the league? around jumper I think not. over a smotherThe stats are ing defender. c r i n g e w o r t h y.

And the deKobe is scoring fense, my god, 17.3 PPG, a rethe defense. spectable averWhereas once age on its own there might but the lowest he’s ever recordnot have been ed as a starter. a more bullish Outside of raw and hard-nosed scoring his condefender in the tributions have league, Kobe is courtesy Wikimedia Commons now seemingly been minimal, averaging few- Kobe played his entire career in purple and gold. content to stand er than 4 rebounds and assists per game, and around complacently on the court, letting putting up ghastly shooting percentages that his matchup consistently leak out in transilook like typos: .350 overall and .254 from tion and refusing to provide his teammates three-point range, the latter on a whopping with any help on D. It’s tough to admit, but 7.1 attempts per game, which would be the he is a shadow of his former self.

I’m too young to have seen a young Kobe highest in his career if he keeps it up. The man is chucking the ball at the basket like at the beginning of his career, running the

show for the Lakers alongside Shaq as a doit-all shooting guard in the early 2000s. My memory is hazy from the days when he was a lone gunner in LA, throwing a talentless team on his back and achieving some of the greatest individual scoring feats ever (10 games of 50+ points, including his famous 81 point game, the second-highest total ever, in 2005-06).

But as a die-hard Boston Celtics fan, I remember all too well his battles with my beloved C’s in the 2008 and 2010 Finals, remember feeling palpable fear and envy at the times when it seemed that, no matter what schemes the defense threw at him, he could not be stopped.

Kobe in his prime was a visceral, largerthan-life experience, playing with an “F You” no-hold-barred competitiveness that is so often lacking in today’s buddy-buddy, AAU culture NBA. As a wearer of the Boston green, I hated him. But as a basketball fan, damn if I’m not glad to have witnessed such a player at the peak of his powers.

Like a lot of willful and unapologetic figures in the public eye, Kobe has been a rather divisive player over his career, to say the least. But love or hate the man, his skill and passion for the game cannot be denied.

Neither can his influence and legacy.

So please, do your best to ignore those 6 for 21 shooting days over the next several months and just try to enjoy the ride. This is the last we’ll be seeing of Kobe Bryant on a basketball court and we should savor every minute of it.

19 January 2016

Sports

The Collegian: 11

Tulsa falls in Independence thriller

Clockwise from top left: The team prepares to enter the field following the Tulsa flag. Junior wide receiver Josh Atkinson protects the ball from two Virginia Tech defenders after securing a first down for the Golden Hurricane. Atkinson recorded 139 yards on 11 receptions. The Camping World Independence Bowl trophy. Sophomore running back D’Angelo Brewer runs for his second touchdown of the game. He finished with two touchdowns and 105 yards, his third 100-yard rushing game of the season.

all photos by Will Bramlett

Clockwise from left: junior cornerback Will Barrow makes the open-field tackle against the Hokies. Sophomore wide receiver Bishop Louie stays inside the pylon for touchdown to put the Golden Hurricane within three at the end of the first quarter. To end the season, the team sings the alma mater with the fans.

In their first bowl game since their victory in the Liberty Bowl, the Golden Hurricane fell to Virginia Tech in a thrilling show of offense.

Wade Crawford Sports Writer The 2015 Independence Bowl featured a crossroads of two programs: the first with a rookie head coach, in their first bowl game in three years after a dreadful previous two years, and the second with a legendary head coach making his final appearance on the sidelines. Head coach Frank Beamer took the victory in his final game as a head coach, leading his Virginia Tech Hokies to a 55–52 victory over the Tulsa Golden Hurricane.

The Hokies and Golden Hurricane combined for 107 total points, setting an Inde-

pendence Bowl record. In fact, the over/ under line of 61.5 was shattered in the first half, as both teams combined for 76 points.

Both teams combined for 1,161 total yards, 718 of those yards through the air.

Tulsa got on the board first, as running back D’Angelo Brewer scored on a 48-yard touchdown run. Virginia Tech answered back in the very next drive, as running back Travon McMillian ran for 51 yards and a touchdown.

After Zack Langer ran for a touchdown, Tech scored on their first play from scrimmage, a screen pass from quarterback Michael Brewer that Isaiah Ford took for 75 yards to tie the game.

The Hokies began to pull away a bit, scoring on a Joey Slye field goal and a Sam Rogers touchdown reception, before Bishop Louie caught a touchdown to end a hectic first quarter. The Hokies took a 24–21 lead

into the second.

Virginia Tech seemed to pull away in the second quarter, on two touchdown runs by Temuchin “Bucky” Hodges and Travon McMillian. A 67-yard punt return touchdown

by Greg Stroman stretched the Hokie lead to 45–21.

Tulsa mounted a comeback before halftime, as a Redford Jones field goal was followed up by a 10-yard touchdown run by Brewer.

The second half began with a score by Virginia Tech as Trey Edmunds stretched the Hokie lead to three touchdowns. After the ensuing kickoff was nearly returned for a touchdown, Dane Evans ran for the final nine yards the very next play.

However, the lead remained at 15 after Redford Jones missed the extra point; a rekick after Tulsa had two players wearing #8 on the field simultaneously.

Virginia Tech seemed to put the game away early in the fourth quarter, as a Joey Slye field goal made it a 55–37 Tech lead.

Tulsa’s comeback attempt began with a fantastic Josh Atkinson 21-yard touchdown reception from Dane Evans, followed by a successful two-point conversion pass to Keyarris Garrett.

With just under four minutes left, Garrett took the lead to within three with a 36-yard touchdown reception. However, on the next drive, Tulsa’s luck ran out—Dane Evans was sacked on third and fourth down, to seal the victory for the Virginia Tech Hokies.

The victory was number 280 for Beamer, putting him at 15th on the list of the winningest head coaches in NCAA football, and sixth in Division I history. On the other side, Philip Montgomery finished with a 6–6 regular season record, and 6–7 overall.

The State-Run Media

19 January 2016

the

State-Run media Alvin and the Chipmunks is an insult to nightcore.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens brings new life to franchise

Since the new addition to the Star Wars franchise was sure to make a splash in popular culture, the StateRun Media sent a reporter to review the film.

Sam Chott Death Star truther.

Sitting in a theater for the premiere of a movie is an electrifying feeling. As I waited for Star Wars: The Force Awakens to begin, I realized that I was more nervous than I had any right to be. Would this movie live up to my expectations? Would it be better than the atrocious prequel trilogy?

Perhaps most importantly, would it make us feel the same sense of wonder that captured the previous generation when they sat down for the original Star Wars in 1977? Luckily, the latest film, while derivative, still provides enough thrills for even the most jaded viewer.

The plot of the film is largely familiar to longtime fans of the franchise. A ragtag group of heroes, often with conflicting motivations, must work together in a dangerous world.

Many of the characters are

archetypes we’ve seen before, with scoundrels working together against crime lords and cartoonishly evil villains. The fights are believable and unpolished, a far cry from the acrobatic swordfights of the prequel trilogy, and as in the original three films, the sets are believably cluttered and worn down.

We even get a surprise return of a character from one of the earlier films!

I didn’t watch the trailers that were released in the lead-up to the film’s release, so it was a surprise when Mace Windu, played with superb overstatement by Samuel L. Jackson, appeared with his partner-in-crime Vincent Vega (John Travolta). Revealed to have survived his fall from the Jedi Temple in Revenge of the Sith, Windu now works for the crime lord Marcellus Wallace, a callback to the Jabba character seen in Return of the Jedi.

The film has several different plotlines, which all connect at the climactic finish. Vincent goes out with Mia Wallace (Uma Thurman), where they dance in a scene reminiscent of the Jabba’s Palace scene in Return.

Butch, (Bruce Willis) a Han Solo-esque boxer, double-crosses Marcellus and attempts to flee, but eventually takes up a primitive

lightsaber to protect the man who wanted him dead, in an apparent homage to Luke’s unwillingness to kill his own father.

The plot eventually comes back around to Mace and his job as Marcellus’s enforcer. After killing several men in cold blood with a blaster, having lost his iconic purple lightsaber, he and Vincent are ambushed. Protecting them both with the Force, Mace is forced to lie to his friend and claim that they were protected by faith.

Later, at a diner, a clear homage to Dexter Jettster’s restaurant in Attack of the Clones, Mace dis-

a couple months to avoid Star Wars spoilers may have been on the more extreme end of this scale, but the point remains just the same. So imagine my surprise when I walked into class last Monday, and all of my teachers handed me syllabuses overflowing with spoilers of their own classes! And what’s more, they took a sadistic pleasure in announcing the spoilers to the entire class! You didn’t see JJ Abrams walking around before the release of The Force Awakens, announcing [REDACTED] for all the world to hear.

In some of my classes (I won’t name names), the instructors went as far as writing the exam dates, in bold text, on the first page. Seriously? It’s as if they wanted to rob me of all the wonderful little surprises of college. Nothing quite

compares to the feeling of walking into class one day, and being completely and pleasantly surprised by an exam you had no idea was coming. Although not quite as grievous an offense, all of my professors were guilty of laying out a summary of all the topics to

arms robbers, not by force, or even

by Force, but simply by talking them down and convincing them to leave peacefully, symbolically reclaiming the Jedi philosophy that he had abandoned by the beginning of the film.

The ending of The Force Awakens, though an obvious lead-in toward the rest of the trilogy, was satisfying in itself. By recalling other elements of the franchise, the latest movie pays homage, and, yes, takes advantage of our nostalgia. But it works out.

From the seedy cantina run by Marcellus to the familiar banter

Mace Windu makes an unexpected return in the seventh Star Wars installment.

between the main characters, I always felt that I was watching Star Wars. I would be remiss if I didn’t note the level of the diversity of the film, which features almost more female speaking roles than the other six films combined, and more racial diversity than ever seen in the Star Wars universe.

Despite this, the film never feels too new; like the original Star Wars, it feels timeless in tone and plot. It’s with high hopes for the rest of the trilogy and for the franchise as a whole that I give this new Star Wars film a 10/10.

graphic by Elias Brinkman

Warning: course materials contain spoilers With modern media it is increasingly difficult to avoid spoilers for movies and television. The StateRun Media received a letter from one university student who found that it’s even hard to avoid spoilers for real life.

Samuel Beckmann Still hasn’t seen Citizen Kane, don’t tell him what “Rosebud” is.

To Whom it May Concern, Spoilers are bad. We all know that. Some of us, like myself, go to great lengths to avoid seeing them. My reaction of becoming a nomad in the Sahara desert for

be covered in the class in the syllabus. This simple act takes away some of the joy of showing up to class, never knowing what to expect.

Although there is little I can do to stop professors’ blatant disregard for spoilers, perhaps some

Love letter to the three-day weekend To some, it may seem silly that the first week of classes is right before a three-day weekend, but others welcome the break as a familiar friend.

graphic by Elias Brinkman

Steven Buchele Resident bard.

Oh first week three-day weekend,

graphic by Madeline Woods

The least professors could do is give a warning. No chill.

students can learn from my suffering, and take these lessons to heart. Currently, I can only recommend that every student skip the first few days of class, in the hope that they can experience the joy of a spoiler-free college experience.

I repent for those years that I wished you had come at another time. I implore you to forgive me, for the truth is I need you. I desire you like I desire little else in the world. This truth was revealed to me when last semester you delayed your arrival by a week. When you did not come that first week, I yearned for you like

one might yearn for bacon at vegan camp.

The moles that burrow through the earth must have pitied my blindness for I could not see how beautiful you were. A beached fish would have scorned by ignorance for I did not know how much I needed you. But fate conspired to instruct me. It withheld you for a time and for that dark season I became the most wretched man upon this mortal plane, for I lacked you. You who were my light of hope in dark days, my sure rock in stormy seas, my true companion, your absence was like a chasm in my gut, a wound so deep and wide that the fall breezes might have blown through me and whistled.

For when I need you, you are there to restore me.

When the first week of classes crashes upon me like the wine-dark seas you catch me and bring me safe to shore.

You whispered calming spells like a mother to her babe. You soothe my fears and assure me, in those moments when I am sure the semester will bring me down, that I will survive. You give me new life to face the semester, not in strong ignorance like I had a week ago, but in brave recognition of the battles that lie before me.

Once I had wished that you would come later to give me rest in the midst of the semester, but you knew that I would not survive if you came later. Once I wished that you would be slower in coming to afford a modicum of respite before the most treacherous midterm clashes, but you knew that I would not make fullest use of you.

Once I wished that you might align with some other holiday, like the feast of Saint Valentine, but you knew that you were supposed to be my one true love.

Oh, do not forsake me again. Do not slow your arrival a second time, for the delay would surely kill me.

Nor, I implore, hasten to arrive. In deed, in your wisdom arrive when you determine I am most in need, three day weekend: the first week of every semester.

Though, my dearest, my love, would you but listen to my one humble request, do not hide your rapturous face from me, nor make thyself scarce to be found; visit me more often and soothe me from my exertions and take away my academic woes.

With unending love, Steven Buchele