April 21th, 2014

a student newspaper of the university of tulsa

april 21, 2014 issue 24 ~ volume 99

Farewell to Spring

21 April 2014

2013–2014 Tulsa Golden Hurricane

Sports

the Collegian : 2

Sports

the Collegian : 3

eye on the hurricane

21 April 2014

Monday April 21

W. Golf

C-USA Championship

Gulf Shores, Ala.

All Day

Tuesday April 22

W. Golf

C-USA Championship

Softball

vs Oklahoma State

Gulf Shores, Ala.

All Day

Wednesday April 23

W. Golf Track & Field Track & Field Track & Field

C-USA Championship Drake Relays

Stillwater, Okla.

7 p.m.

Gulf Shores, Ala.

All Day

Des Moines, Iowa

All Day

Thursday April 24

Drake Relays

Des Moines, Iowa

Friday April 25

Drake Relays

Des Moines, Iowa

All Day All Day

Saturday April 26

Softball Softball Track & Field Rowing

Staff Report

Spring collegiate seasons are winding down. The Conference USA men’s and women’s tennis tournaments were played over the weekend. The conference’s women’s teams traveled to Norfolk, Va., and the men’s teams came to the University of Tulsa.

Tulsa entered both tournaments as the top seed, earning a free pass to the quarterfinals.

In the women’s team’s first match of the tournament on Friday, the Golden Hurricane held off the ninth seed Blue Raiders from Middle Tennessee 4–3 in a lengthy battle that would last nearly six hours.

The marathon win earned the Golden Hurricane the right to play the Marshall Thundering Herd in the semi-finals. While not another six-hour match, the teams battled for nearly four hours, but TU held off another determined opponent by a score of 4–2.

Tulsa faced the defending conference champions and No. 29. ranked Rice Owls Sunday morning. The Owls, the No. 2 seed in the tournament, jumped out to a 3–0 lead which was too much for TU to catch. The Owls beat the Golden Hurricane 4–2.

The men’s team’s first match was also Friday afternoon. The Golden Hurricane would start the tournament by dominating the

Southern Miss Golden Eagles 4–0.

The Golden Hurricane showed its force again Saturday by devastating the Rice Owls with another 4–0 victory.

Tulsa’s win would bring the Golden Hurricane back to a place it has become very familiar with since TU joined Conference USA in 2005: the conference title match. The Golden Hurricane has played for the men’s tennis title every year as a member of Conference USA. In all of those matches, TU has only lost twice. In 2013, TU lost as the top seed 4–2 to the No. 2-seed Memphis Tigers and top-seeded Tulsa lost to the second seed Rice Owls 4–2 in 2010.

The team’s determination to leave Conference USA on top paid off Sunday afternoon as the Golden Hurricane once again took home first place with another 4–0 victory, this time over No. 2 seed Tulane Green Wave.

The NCAA men’s regionals will begin May 8 while the women’s NCAA regionals begin the next day. The seeding for the NCAA tournament will be announced at 4 p.m. on April 29 on NCAA. com. Following that, the women’s bracket will be released at 4:30 p.m.

Both tournaments will finish in Athens, Ga. at the Dan Magill Tennis Complex at the University

Sara Douglas / Collegian

James Flanders had two rushing touchdowns over 40 yards in the half-field scrimmage in the football team’s spring game and true freshman Jabe Burgess was five-of-eight passing for 64 yards and two touchdowns.

of Georgia beginning May 15 and running through May 26.

The TU rowing team hosted the eighth Lawless Cup Regatta in Catoosa, Okla. Saturday morning.

Teams from SMU and Creighton traveled to Oklahoma to compete.

Fans lined up alongside the Verdigris River to watch the Golden Hurricane finish a boat in first place in all seven races.

The Varsity 4+ boat finished the race, which went from approximately the I-44 bridge to the finish line just before the OK-66 bridge, with a time of 7:36.34, more than 18 seconds ahead of the second place boat from Creighton.

Tulsa’s Varsity 8+ boat had a fantastic run, finishing the race with a time of 6:38.5, edging out the boats from SMU and Creighton which finished with a time of 6:45.27 and 6:51.28, respectively.

Next up for the team is the UCF Invitational in Orlando, Fla. this Saturday and Sunday.

vs Middle Tennessee

Drake Relays UCF Invitational

Collins Family Softball Complex Collins Family Softball Complex

1 p.m.

3 p.m.

Des Moines, Iowa

All Day

Orlando, Fla.

All Day

Sunday April 27

Sara Douglas / Collegian

The TU men’s tennis team finished their stay in Conference USA on home court by winning the end-of-season C-USA tournament for the seventh time in nine years.

vs Middle Tennessee

Softball M. Soccer

Track & Field M. Golf

vs Middle Tennessee

Collins Family Softball Complex

12 p.m.

vs Creighton

Hurricane Stadium

1:30 p.m.

C-USA Championship

Orlando, Fla.

All Day

Drake Relays

Des Moines, Iowa

All Day

Monday April 28

M. Golf

C-USA Championship

Orlando, Fla.

All Day

Tuesyday April 29

M. Golf

C-USA Championship

Orlando, Fla.

All Day

Wednesday April 30

Softball

vs Oklahoma State

Rowing

C-USA Championship

Collins Family Softball Complex

5 p.m.

Saturday May 17 Oak Ridge, Tenn.

All Day

The University of Tulsa and the Tulsa Sports Commission will be hosting the NCAA D1 women’s golf national championship at the Tulsa Country Club. The championship runs from May 20 to May 23.

Will Bramlett / Collegian

The TU men’s soccer team played their cross-town rivals, the Oral Roberts Golden Eagles, to a nil-nil draw in an exhibition match Friday night at Hurricane Stadium. The team plays Creighton at home on Sunday at 1:30 p.m.

Will Bramlett / Collegian

The TU women’s rowing team put on a show for Golden Hurricane fans who made the trip to Catoosa, Okla. early Saturday morning. A Tulsa boat finished first, beating SMU and Creighton, in all seven races of the eighth Lawless Cup. The Lawless Cup is named for former TU President, Dr. Robert Lawless, and his wife, Marcy.

21 april 2014

Sports

the Collegian : 4

Stranded in Tulsa for the summer?

Sports continue to be played around Tulsa even after the Golden Hurricane seasons end.

Will bRaMlett Sports Editor

This is the last issue of the Collegian until September, but sporting events in Tulsa do not take a break while we are gone. Here are a few things to do for those of you staying in Tulsa this summer.

The Tulsa Drillers began play at the beginning of April and currenly are one game back from the first place Springfield Cardinals in the Texas League North division. The team has 60 regular season games remaining in the home stadium, ONEOK Field, in downtown Tulsa.

Their next home series is against the Northwest Arkansas Naturals on Friday and Saturday. The two teams just split a series two-games apiece at ONEOK Field last week. Tickets start at $5.

There is a promotional offering of some sort at nearly every Drillers game. General admission for Tuesday games is just $2. A hot dog, a 21oz. soda, a soft pretzel, popcorn or a slice of Mazzio’s pizza also will only cost fans $2 each on Tuesday. Lastly, a 12 oz. Corona costs only $2 from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m.

Wednesday night games are “Bark in the Park” night where fans are allowed to bring their dogs to the lawn seats past the outfield.

Fans can enjoy a $1 12 oz. beer or 16 oz. soda Thursday night. There will be fireworks following Friday and Saturday games.

If you need more soccer following the World Cup in June, the Tulsa Athletics of the National Premier Soccer League will be playing in Old Drillers Stadium.

The team returns to action in a friendly match against the Fort Worth Vaqueros in the Red River Cup on Friday, May 2 at 6 p.m. The final match of the Red River Cup is the following day at the same time.

Their season will begin on the road against the Vaqueros May 9. The team will also play in Oklahoma City against Oklahoma City FC on May 25 before returning to Tulsa for the team’s first home game of the season is on May 30 against the Joplin Demize at 7:30 p.m in Old Drillers Stadium.

The Old Drillers Stadium, at 15th & Yale, has been completely repainted and cleaned up plus the pitch has been expanded in the team’s off-season to make for a better soccer-going experience. Single game tickets start at just $5 and season tickets cost as little as $40.

The roster for the Athletics is filled with many current and former TU and ORU soccer players.

If you are looking for a team in a top-tier

league, look no further than the Tulsa Shock of the WNBA. The team, which plays in the BOK Center, has a preseason matchup against the San Antonio Stars on Friday, May 2 at 11:30 a.m.

The team begins their fifth season in Oklahoma and their first with second overall draft pick Odyssey Sims two weeks later against the Minnesota Lynx at 7 p.m. The Lynx are the defending WNBA regular season and WNBA Finals champions.

Tickets start at just $9, and, like the Drillers, the Shock have many theme and promotion nights. The Shock will also appear on ESPN2 when they travel to Chicago to play the Chicago Sky at noon on June 22.

The New York Liberty, the most popular team in the league, will be in Tulsa on June 10 for an 11:30 a.m. game and the Shock will face the Liberty in Madison Square Garden on July 1 with tip-off set for 6 p.m.

The UFC will be coming to the BOK Center two days before classes start. This is the first UFC event in Tulsa since “UFC 4: Revenge of the Warriors” at Expo Square Pavilion in December 1994. The fight on Aug. 23 will be broadcast on FOX Sports 1.

The Oklahoma City Thunder and Oklahoma City Barons are also both in the playoffs.

Plus, TU is hosting the NCAA D1 women’s golf championship beginning May 20.

Or you can just ogle the lovely new football posters all summer.

SEC basketball coach comes to TU Athletic Director Gragg introduced TU’s new head men’s basketball coach, Frank Haith, Friday. jeSSe Keipp Staff Writer

With the help of a search firm, University of Tulsa Athletic Director Derrick Gragg and President Steadman Upham labored for two weeks to find a new coach after previous men’s basketball coach Danny Manning departed for Wake Forest on April 4.

After a laundry list of candidates, including Mercer’s Bob Hoffman and Valparaiso’s Bryce Drew, Gragg and Upham swiftly decided on the University of Missouri’s Frank Haith, penning him to a seven-year contract, worth roughly $1.3 million per year. After initial contact on Thursday, TU officially announced Frank Haith as its 30th men’s basketball head coach.

On the surface, it appears that a lowly mid-major program robbed the powerful SEC of one of its coaches. However, many Missouri fans and pundits have rejoiced over Haith’s departure.

After his initial weekend of press conferences and radio appearances as Tulsa’s head coach, Mizzou fans were quick to point out his comical gaffes. Nothing evidenced the rapidity of Haith’s hire more than his apparent lack of awareness of the University of Tulsa. During his first press conference, Haith lauded Tulsa’s move to “the Atlantic,” while Tulsa, of course, will be joining the American Athletic Conference.

Haith flattered the Tulsa fanbase with the bold claim that, “It had to take a place like [Tulsa] to leave Missouri.” However, to even the most delusioned Hurricane fans, the compliment sounded too good to believe.

Given Haith’s checkered past, to say that fans view the hiring as controversial is an understatement. Haith was convicted and punished by the NCAA for paying $10,000 to a booster while head coach at the Uni-

versity of Miami, an institution not exactly known for the integrity of its athletic department.

Nonetheless, Haith checked out with Gragg, a former director of compliance and operations at the University of Missouri, and Upham, a former NCAA board member who oversaw Haith’s Miami incident. If any two collegiate administrators could vindicate Haith and justify a career resurrection, Gragg and Upham would be among the two most qualified.

Haith compiled a 76–28 record during his three-year tenure at Mizzou, including two NCAA Tourney appearances and one NIT appearance. While Haith never carried the Tigers deep into the Big Dance as his predecessor, Mike Anderson, did, Haith perpetuated a high level of success in Columbia.

Mizzou fans may soon suffer according to the old adage, “you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.” Despite all the disapproval, Haith boasted a resume with three consecutive postseason appearances.

Despite Haith’s promise, there are nonetheless legitimate reasons for hesitation.

Though Haith’s violations cleared with Stead and Gragg, they still happened. After recently having an athletic director fired for gambling on collegiate games, Tulsa’s fairly clean history can’t use another blemish.

Having reached the postseason three years straight, Haith choked faster than Bartolo Colon at an all-you-can-eat buffet. After winning AP Coach of the Year in 2012, Haith’s Tigers compiled a 30-win season, then lost in the first round to Norfolk State. After earning another shot in 2013, Haith’s squad fell to Colorado State in its first matchup. This year, Haith

earned a decent 22–11 record, but was relegated to the NIT, losing to Southern Miss in the second round.

Notably, Haith’s record worsened with each year, a downward trend that everyone hopes is a fluke. The declining record could suggest that Haith couldn’t win with his own players, instead living off the scraps that Anderson left behind. However, Haith’s greatest strength may be his recruiting.

After his first two years at Mizzou, Haith couldn’t crack Rivals.com’s top 30 recruiting classes. Yet, for 2014, Haith reeled in the nation’s 27th best recruiting class, including two top-100 recruits. Haith’s successful shift in recruiting could bode well in the future, perhaps drawing national talents into Tulsa.

Haith’s future is like a mystery bag of Jelly Beans, you could eat poop or you could Dr. Pepper. You won’t know for certain until Haith’s Tulsa squad takes the floor In the fall. Nonetheless, the hire—and salary— represent an official end to complacency in Tulsa athletics. As evidenced by Gragg’s demand for a former head coach, the school will no longer settle for no-name assistants, bargain coaches or prolonged mediocrity. The Doug Wojcik era couldn’t seem further away.

And the Frank Haith era couldn’t appear much more exciting.

SaRa douglaS Staff Writer

The Tulsa women’s softball team has been performing exceptionally well all season, consistently pulling in wins that have vaulted them to the No. 1 position in our conference and landed them the No. 20 spot in the NCAA. Our softball team currently holds a 41–5 record overall, having only lost one home game and two within C-USA. The team started the season off explosively in early February, dominating the Florida Atlantic University Kick-Off Classic with four wins, losing only one game to the home team with a score of 1–0 after eight innings.

The Aggie Classic tournament the following week at Texas A&M witnessed our players controlling the field yet again.

No losses were incurred by the Golden Hurricane, only by the three teams they beat in the five-game series. During the Georgia Tech-Kennesaw State Crossover, our team won all but one of their matches; Georgia Tech outpaced them by just one run in the

Staff Writer

On April 15, the St. Louis Rams offered $100,000 to anyone who could correctly guess the team’s entire regular season schedule. Of course, my first thought was, “Hey, I’d like to move on and forget my terrible March Madness bracket. Just maybe I’ll get lucky this time!”

But then the reality hit me harder than sobriety hits a gambling addict, because the promotion stipulates that you must guess the correct opponents for each week AND the bye week AND the day of the week for each game. And, boy, does the NFL love its Thursday night games.

So I’m going to be the first to tell you: the Rams are a tease. They’ve given me hope every single year for over a decade, yet I still pine for the sweet aroma of playoff football. This contest is no different; your dreams will be crushed. But I, a desperate lover, will inevitably crawl back to them.

And despite my better judgment, I’ll enter the contest. So I write this for your sake: get out while you still can!

The Los Angeles Clippers’ Blake Griffin, known for his flopping and AcademyAward-worthy acting in Kia commercials, found yet another opportunity to employ his dramatic skills in the first playoff game against the Golden State Warriors. After fouling out, Griffin was anything but neighborly to his in-state comrades when he decided to get back at an especially vocal Warriors fan. Griffin “accidentally” dumped his cup of water on the fan while watching the replay of his final foul. However, it doesn’t take a Juilliard professor to notice that Griffin’s acting needed some work. As it stands, Griffin’s capability is a notch below Shaquille O’Neal’s in Kazaam. Maybe Michael Jordan could lend a hand?

In another NBA playoff contest, the shot clock ceased functioning during the third quarter of the Raptors-Nets matchup. After failing to install temporary shot clocks, the Raptors resorted to a PA countdown, which concluded with the announcer saying “horn” when the clock expired.

I would’ve enjoyed the countdown, perhaps even joining in myself, while pretending to be in a spaceship, but the incident isn’t the best PR for the Raptors, who made the playoffs for the first time since 2008.

And it doesn’t exactly help that the Raptors GM Masai Ujiri uninhibitedly proclaimed, “F*** Brooklyn!” at a recent fan rally.

Didn’t his mother teach him that, if he didn’t have anything nice to say, he shouldn’t say anything at all?

In the first game of the playoff series between the Chicago Blackhawks and St. Louis Blues, unstoppable rage enveloped Blackhawks head coach Joel Quenneville after a non-call. In a blind fury, to properly convey the gravity of the situation to the officials, Quenneville grabbed his crotch, which later resulted in a $25,000 fine. It doesn’t even cost that much to have someone else grab your crotch!

Quenneville later apologized, calling the gesture “Bush league,” a comment which Quenneville didn’t fully consider before saying.

Will Bramlett / Collegian

TU softball fields the game’s best Softball at Tulsa has been dominant this year, and time to catch the team in action is quickly running out.

jeSSe Keipp

penultimate game of the series.

At home, the softball women always rule their field, a fact they demonstrated initially at the Tulsa Invitational on the first weekend of March and which has held true since then.

Just one team, one time, has managed to take a lead on our home turf. East Carolina beat Tulsa two Saturdays ago in an energetic game during which they scored ten runs while we only managed two, even though the preceding game of that day’s doubleheader had seen us outpace them 11–9.

A 17-game winning streak steadily advanced our team to the top of the standings, as they swept series against Western Illinois, Marshall, Charlotte and UTEP; our final game against UTEP was an outstanding no-hitter thrown by our pitcher Aimee Creger in which we accomplished 13 runs.

The women also won single games facing Arkansas, Bradley, Missouri State (an impressive 11–0 shutout), Wichita State and Central Arkansas throughout March. A 4–2 loss to University of Alabama at Birmingham brought that trend to an end, but it was the only game they gave up to UAB of a three-game match.

Over this past weekend, the team traveled to San Antonio, Texas to play UTSA. TU defeated the Roadrunners 4–0 in the first

game of a double-header Friday, but needed to play four extra innings in the second game which TU won 12–11. TU swept the series by beating UTSA 2–1 Saturday afternoon.

More than a few of Tulsa softball’s games this season have been won by spectacular pitching performances by Aimee Creger, who is one of the Top 25 Finalists for the USA Softball Collegiate Player of the Year along with her teammate Jill Barrett. Creger is first in the nation in strikeouts per seven innings at 12.2, and this season she has pitched six shutouts, three no-hitters and three one-hitters; her opponent batting average is a meager .125.

Barrett has led our team to victory with three home runs this season and a .487 batting average that sets her at second in the nation. Her 42 total runs scored have also delivered us multiple games.

For those of you who have not been out to see a softball game, Tulsa will face Middle Tennessee in a double-header on Saturday, April 26, beginning at 1 p.m. and then the two teams will play again at noon on Sunday. Tulsa and Oklahoma State will also face off in Stillwater, Okla. Wednesday at 7 p.m. and in Tulsa a week later at 5 p.m.

Photo courtesy NHL / FOX Sports

Coach Q just cost you, the American tax payer, $25k.

Yep, the IRS considers these fines tax deductible.

The NCAA finally approved unlimited meals for student athletes, which is great news for athletes and even greater news for moochers. In a totally unrelated note, I’m seeking student athletes as friends. I enjoy long walks along Riverside, watching the sun set on the Old U, and I tell lots of jokes, some of which are funny.

Thanks for reading this year. If you enjoy the column, spread the word. And I’ll see you in the fall!

Jesse Keipp / Collegian

Aw, how sweet, this idiot doesn’t know that he is fired. He won’t see you in the fall.

variety

the Collegian : 5

21 april 2014

(Some) adventure awaits in “Elder Scrolls Online” by anna bennett

Improv Rules that Apply in Real Life Well folks, the day has finally come. My last TU Ten as a student. And while you’re no doubt used to my offensive and consistently terrible advice, I thought I’d take a week to share what I have learned in the past few years, as told through the lens of my real major, Bachelor of Arts in Comedy Improvisation. I’m an improviser, not a doctor, but I hope you find something here that speaks to you.

1. “Yes, and…” The Number One Rule of Improv. With few exceptions, better scenes and better comedy are made when you say “yes” to what gets thrown at you. Say yes to new things, say yes to things that challenge your worldview, and perhaps even say yes to things that totally mess up your original plan. If “yes” is a bagel, “and” is the cream cheese; it’s the extra thing YOU bring to the table.

2. Name Your Scene Partner. When you learn someone’s name, use it in the conversation. Refer to them with it. Also, I think they’ve done studies that show people love to hear the sound of their own names, so that’s a strategy for promotion and/or getting laid.

3. Have an Objective. Even if you don’t achieve your objective, moving towards it has a way of making things happen, which is what we all want, right?

4. Don’t Deny. Similar but distinct from No. 1. In psychological terms, we can call it validation. Others need validation just as much as you do, and you can build a better scene when you don’t deny something that your partner has given you. The key is knowing that you can disagree without denying.

5. Pimp Your Partner. Don’t

turn your boyfriend into a prostitute, that’s not what I’m suggesting. Rather, make your partner (i.e. your co-worker, friend, relative, etc) look good through what you do. Give them something to work with, and play to their strengths.

6. Make Bold Choices.

Scenes are more fun when there are memorable characters. Be a memorable character. And a bad choice might be better than no choice at all. At least it makes things happen.

7. Don’t turn your back to the audience. Just don’t do it. It’s bad theatre.

8. Remember that there are no mistakes, only gifts. OK, so, this one is a bit new-agey and I can actually think of some mistakes you’d wish you could return for cash instead. But if you’re a particularly critical person (especially self-critical) who only sees how things deviated from perfection, then it can really change your outlook.

In improv, it just means that you treat everything you are given as a gift, even if your first instinct is to judge it as being wrong. Sure, some gifts are better than others, but they are all gifts just the same. But no matter what gets thrown at you, it’s all something you can use, one way or another.

9. Explore and Heighten.

Scenes move in two directions, outward and up.

You can explore a moment— get more information, linger on its nature, or you can heighten it—raise the stakes, change its importance.

10. The “F*ck It” Principle.

Sometimes, we have less to lose than we tell ourselves we do. When you’ve got nothing else to go on, just say “F*ck It” and go for it.

With underdeveloped competitive game modes, ZeniMax Online Studios’ “Elder Scrolls Online” delivers decent gameplay at a hefty cost. elliot bauMan Staff Writer

After nearly seven years of development, the latest installment in the critically acclaimed and award winning Elder Scrolls series launched on April 4 for the PC and Mac. While the game does indeed bear the franchise name, the end result is something very different from what fans have come to expect.

“The Elder Scrolls Online” is the first multiplayer-focused title from a franchise known for developing some of the best singleplayer role-playing games to date.

The game is classified as a MMORPG, or massively multiplayer online role-playing game.

As a result, there are no offline single player options. Every time a player logs into the game, he or she will enter a world simultaneously shared by hundreds of thousands of other users.

“The Elder Scrolls Online” is really a spin-off from the main franchise, as it was developed by ZeniMax Online Studios, as opposed to the main creators of the series, Bethesda Game Studios.

The next true installment in the main series will not come until “The Elder Scrolls VI” is ultimately revealed.

The game takes place 800 years before the events of the main games. There are two central conflicts, one for each component of the game, that make up the core plot of the title. The first is the emergence of a canonical demonlike antagonist, Molag Bal, who seeks to enslave all of humanity into a nightmarish realm known as Oblivion.

Amidst that chaos, the mortal world finds itself in further turmoil, as the death of the emperor in the Imperial City has left a

power struggle with three factions vying for control: The Daggerfall Covenant, the Aldmeri Dominion and the Ebonheart Pact.

Player character creation begins with a selection of a race from the available ten. The selection in race offers unique skills, abilities and attributes based on the choice and dictates which faction the player will belong to. Users are then forced to further define their character by picking one of four available classes: Dragon Knight, Templar, Sorcerer and Nightblade.

After a race and class have been chosen, “The Elder Scrolls Online” allows the player to do what the series does best: character customization. This is a staple of the Elder Scrolls franchise and it is great that ZeniMax implemented such a feature that fans have come to expect.

Once a player completes a series of short, but arduous, tutorial quests and reaches level 10, the game world opens up. As alluded to earlier, there are essentially two “modes” available for play in “The Elder Scrolls Online”: player versus environment, or PvE, and player versus player, PvP. PvE mode puts players in an environment where users can interact with, but not directly fight, other users. It is here where players will attempt to stop Molag Bal and enjoy an enormous variety of side quests and events.

Unfortunately, this mode severely suffers from a lack of identity. It tries so hard to merge the rich and in-depth free open world exploration that is characteristic of the Elder Scrolls franchise with exciting multiplayer-driven content and ultimately ends up failing in both regards.

While the in-game world is massive, exploration does not feel rewarding and just is not as exciting as it is in other Elder Scrolls games, due to a lack of interesting features in the game world.

Compared to “Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim,” where a simple trip up a mountain road may reveal a secret cave or desolate mine, the world of “Online” feels empty and bland.

However, there are also special locations, called “group dungeons” which require players to have a certain number of party

members to access. These dungeons offer new places to explore and are easily the most interesting component of PvE. On the other hand, the PvP mode is a drastically different story.

While this reviewer feels that PvP is little more than a hugely chaotic mess, to label it as such would be unfair. The gameplay in PvP is situated around the power struggle between the three factions.

With a few exceptions, the actual gameplay resembles other mainstream MMORPGs such as “World of Warcraft” and “Guild Wars 2”; while there remain a few objectives (such as capturing as many fortresses on the server as possible) the PvP experience ultimately condenses down to an enormous brawl between thousands of players loosely divided into three teams.

The state of the in-game worlds are reset every 90 days in order for factions to recover. Due to the inherent competition and detailed leaderboard tracking, PvP is where most of the action in “Online” takes place.

It is worth noting that “Elder Scrolls Online” is a controversially expensive game. On top of the initial $60 purchase, users will have to pay a $15 monthly subscription fee to continue to play the game.

Many fans of the franchise claim that this policy puts the game out of reach for a significant number of players, and argue that adopting the common “free to play” is a much sounder solution.

Only time will tell if “Online” will switch its payment model.

All things considered, “The Elder Scrolls Online” features decent multiplayer content while mostly failing to deliver the classic Elder Scrolls experience that fans have come to expect of the franchise. Sure, the decent character customization and the large scale campaigns across the various PvP servers are enjoyable, but the lack of worthwhile and interesting exploration will leave many fans wanting more.

“The Elder Scrolls Online” earns a 7.5/10. The game is currently available on the PC and Mac. PlayStation 4 and Xbox One versions are set to release in June.

Burgers of Tulsa: inexpensive, delicious

by Helen patteRSon The year is FINALLY coming to an end, but the arts season is picking up in Tulsa. Check out what’s going on both on campus and off!

Through Finals: 1. Curious about theatre departments at other colleges? Check out TCC’s rendition of Aeschylus’s classic tragedy “Agamemnon” April 24–26 at 8 p.m., and April 27 at 2 p.m. at the VanTrease Performing Arts Center.

2. For those who would rather stay on campus, TU’s choral singers have two upcoming performances.

The Cappella Chamber Singers will perform in Lorton Performance Center on April 25 at 7:30 p.m., and Chorale will perform April 27 at 3 p.m.

As usual, both shows are free!

3. For those interested in student work, be sure to attend the TU Humanities Festival! This cross-disciplinary celebration features music performance, poetry, creative and screen writing readings, theatre performances, an art exhibition and much more.

The event, held in the Lorton Performance Center, is April 29 from 1–5 p.m.

This free event is open to the public, and will feature a complimentary buffet.

4. The Phoenix, an excellent

coffee shop/bar located in the Pearl District, usually hosts a wide variety of student musicians and artists. TU student Jade Moon Dittus is the latest artist to be featured at The Phoenix.

Her show, entitled “Pieces,” will be displayed at The Phoenix through May. Art collectors take note: paintings and prints will be for sale!

There will be a reception May 1 from 6–9 p.m.

5. Do not miss “Carmen,” the final opera in the Tulsa Opera’s “Love, Lust and Religion” series. Performances are at the Tulsa PAC May 2 at 7:30 p.m. and May 4 at 2:30 p.m.

Remember that TU student rush tickets are just $16!

And Beyond: 1. The Tulsa PAC has a slew of musicals lined up for this summer. Check out “Sister Act” May 13–18, “The Sound of Music” May 16–25, and “Wicked” June 18 through July 6.

2. Not to be outdone, the BOK Center will feature Bruno Mars on June 4, “Jesus Christ Superstar” on June 24, Motley Crue on July 13 and KISS with Def Leppard on August 29.

3. Neon Trees returns to Cain’s Ballroom on June 19, doors open at 6:30 p.m. and the show begins at 7:30 p.m.

Craving a mouthwatering burger while looking to stay on a budget? Look no further than Maxxwell’s, McNellie’s and The Tavern; each with hearty burgers sure to satiate the hungriest of appetites.

Helen patteRSon Kaedi loVe Staff Writers

When dinner time comes rolling around you may find yourself in a bit of a jam: you crave a burger, yet, like most college students, you have no money. What are you to do?

Fortunately for hungry students, we have done the legwork for you, and have scouted out the best burger deals around Tulsa that will fit any carnivore’s budget.

Maxxwell’s: For those who want to stay close to campus, Maxxwell’s is a good bet. Located just west of campus at 2636 E 11th St, it is within walking distance.

Normally, the Old-School Cheeseburger is a reasonable $8, but on Sundays from 5–10 p.m. you can score the burger for only $5.

The toppings and the homemade buns are excellent and the fries are pretty good. However, the burgers are not the best and come across as a little flavorless.

For those who like a good char, they might be for you, but those of us who like our burgers less than well-done might be disappointed.

Kaedi Love / Collegian

The most delicious burger sampled was The Tavern’s take on the classic hamburger.

Although it may be more expensive than the other sampled dishes, The Tavern’s burger is certainly worth the $6.50. Served with a Stilton mushroom and Cognac cream sauce, this burger is sure to please the palate and entice the senses.

Mcnellie’s: For something a little bit better, consider checking out $3 Burger Night every Wednesday at McNellie’s, located downtown at 409 E 1st St. The burgers are chargrilled, juicy and generally delicious. The buns are a little greasy and not quite up to par with the Maxxwell’s buns, but the burger itself is so tasty that it is scarcely noticeable.

The blue cheese (just an extra fifty-cents) is recommended. You can also get fries, either chunky wedge fries or sweet potato fries, for only $1. The burger night starts at 5 p.m., and you really need to get there a little before or just after.

The joint is popular, and you do not want to spend an hour waiting.

The Tavern: For those seeking the classiest take on the cheap burger, head to the Tavern on Brady located in the heart of the Brady District at 201 N Main St. Their burgers are half-price after 9 p.m.

every day. Now, the Tavern is a bit fancier than the other restaurants, so the normally $13 burger is reduced to $6.50, a bit more than the other two places. However, this is the best of the bunch.

The burger itself is a juicy and delicious mixture of short rib and brisket, served with a Stilton, mushroom and Cognac cream sauce. The buns are homemade, toasted and not overly greasy. This burger is served with crispy rosemary and roasted garlic “frites.”

On a final note: for those who crave a “free” burger, head over to the restaurant at The Gilcrease Museum where dining dollars are accepted (you will have to leave a cash tip, though). They have an excellent view from their dining room, and the Vista Buffalo Burger, served with white cheddar, fries and bacon jam (which is better than it sounds) is fabulous.

Whichever way you choose, you cannot go wrong!

21 april 2014

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Nancy Eggen retiring from United Campus Ministry Nancy Eggen came to TU’s United Campus Ministry as its director in 2002. Now, 12 years later, she is retiring.

Giselle Willis Staff Writer

When Nancy Eggen became The University of Tulsa’s United Campus Ministry director in 2002, she couldn’t believe she was lucky enough to find her dream job.

She had moved to Tulsa from Connecticut, where she had received her Masters in Divinity from Yale, and was originally hired as an interim, but loved the job so much she applied to stay.

Over the course of her twelve years on campus, Eggen has witnessed countless student-led initiatives become reality. As the United States entered the Iraq War in 2003, TU students held a “huge, day-long education rally” against involvement. The rally included an “eloquent speech” from that year’s Muslim Student Association president and was called “Not In Our

The Little Blue House, home to United Campus Ministry.

Name,” remembered Eggen.

She said that students began attempting to add sexual orientation to The University of Tulsa’s Equal Employment Opportunity policy back in 2004. These attempts were only finally carried out last fall, when both student Senate and President Upham approved the change. Eggen applauded the creation of the Sustainability Committee and their recent efforts to remove trays from the cafeteria.

The Sustainability Committee also encouraged the construction of TU buildings to meet Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design (LEED) standards, according to Eggen.

She said she’s learned a lot from trash audits, and she’s proud of the Green Team, recently established for cleaning up and recycling after large-scale sporting events.

Women’s & Gender Studies became a major while she was here, and she watched as campus became increasingly international.

As the United Campus Ministry director, Eggen is especially grateful to have been involved in interfaith work. She holds a vegetarian lunch at the Little Blue House

Nikki Hager / Collegian

McFarlin wall a sham, ACAC’s days limited?

The missing wall outside of McFarlin Library was a trial run to see if such a design would be used to display donor names. Administrators also mull over changing ACAC’s name. giSelle WilliS Staff Writer

Every now and then, students are understandably bamboozled by seemingly nonsensical decisions handed down by university bureaucracy. Recently, the demolition of a small wall outside of McFarlin’s west side has caused quite an uproar as students respond with incredulity, outrage and even apathy. Many wondered why the wall had been built in the first place, and why it would be taken down after a short life of apparent purposelessness.

Kayla Acebo, TU’s vice president for institutional advancement, clarified that university administrators “had been examining options to recognize endowment donors,” and that one such option was the construction of a wall with donors’ names on it.

Thus, the wall outside of McFarlin was just “a sample,” according to Dr. Acebo, but it was ultimately removed because it “was not the best format.” She added that “no actual

endowment donors’ names” were ever on the sample.

In the meantime, another rumor has swept up the curious minds of students, propelling them into a furor formerly unseen outside of intellectually stimulating classrooms.

While the Allen Chapman Activity Center is fondly referred to as “ACAC” by those on campus, tales of changing its name to “The Student Union” are in circulation.

In fact, Dr. Acebo confirmed that The University of Tulsa “has approached the Chapman trustees about renaming the soonto-be remodeled Allen Chapman Activity Center. If approved, the new name would be the Allen Chapman Student Union.”

To those students who would throw up their hands in utter confusion as to the reasons behind such an occurrence, Dr. Acebo explained that “campus visitors and new/ potential students” have frequently asked about the existence or whereabouts of a “Student Union” on campus. The explanation—that TU does not have a “Student Union” but that the Activity Center serves as one—is tedious, and Dr. Acebo noted that “the name change would simplify that answer and would give TU students a ‘union’ of their own.” The term “Student Union” is commonplace on many college campuses.

Arts and Humanities Festival to showcase student works The Arts and Humanities Festival will allow TU students to see what their fellow classmates have been working on in the arts and humanities.

MattHeW MageRKuRtH Staff Writer

On April 29, the first annual TU Arts and Humanities Festival will be taking place in Lorton Performance Center from 1 to 5 p.m.

The event is designed to be a comprehensive exhibition of what our students are up to. “The Arts and Humanities Festival is a showcase for student work across the arts, and features musical and theatrical performances, an art exhibition, student films, poetry, fiction and screenplay readings,” said Sean Latham, the director of the Oklahoma Center for Humanities.

The event will ride on its variety and quantity of cultural items; essentially, five or six performances or exhibitions will be happening all at the same time. Latham says, “We’re taking over the entire Lorton Performance Center for the afternoon—the performance halls, balconies, lobbies, digital screens and hallways. Events will be run-

ning continuously from 1 to 5 p.m. so you can walk in, for example, and look at some digital artworks or sculptural pieces in the lobby, watch some students films in Gussman, hang around the piano for some jazz performances on the north balcony, take a look at 3-D set models and then wander into Meinig to hear some poetry.”

The Festival is growing out of the newly founded Oklahoma Center for the Humanities at TU. This fledgling organization, which is chaired by a number of TU professors, is designed to spawn events like this one and to encourage collaborative projects between disciplines of students. This event serves as a first step towards that goal by giving the students the ability to display their work and meet students from other disciplines.

Though this is the first year, the Festival is already bigger than expected, and the Center for Humanities is already looking forward to next year. Latham says, “Looking forward, we already have plans to expand it next year by spreading events across campus, connecting with local schools, and including some kind of signature launch event.”

Come on down to Lorton Performance Center for some great displays of TU Arts!

every Wednesday. The lunch is vegetarian so that people from any kind of religious background can partake in it. Eggen has loved talking to students about “faith and life and doubt,” because she finds it meaningful.

She is delighted to have been able to create a religiously affiliated space (the Little Blue House) that students feel comfortable engaging in regardless of their own religious backgrounds.

She recalled how ministers from different faiths held a vigil in 2007 when Oklahoma passed House Bill 1804, which criminalized providing assistance to the undocumented, and declared the law unjust, saying they would break it. Eggen has also officiated weddings and funerals in her time at TU. In 2007, the Little Blue House started raising funds for a microbank in Nicaragua, raised $3000 by 2009, travelled to Chacraseca, Nicaragua with JustHope—an organization aiming to link communities in Nicaragua and the United States—and set up a bank that now has a “100% repayment rate,” according to Eggen.

She has also worked with Laura Allen from the Office of Multicultural Affairs to “host discussion groups on racism and white privilege,” and establish the Safe Zone Program, which is meant to educate community members on how to become allies to those who identify as LGBTQ. Eggen and students have also hosted “Pride Prom” for many years – a dance for high school students who identify as LGBTQ and don’t necessarily feel comfortable taking the partner of their choice to their school’s prom. Yet to keep the Little Blue House running, Eggen has had to fundraise vigorously every year, since the house is technically an independent ministry and not TU property.

Several churches and individual donors have contributed to the house’s budget over the years, much to Eggen’s relief. Even beyond fundraising, she greatly encourages interaction between TU and the Tulsa

The Collegian would like to thank Nancy Eggen for her work over the past 12 years here at TU. Nancy has been a friend to the paper and a friend to the University of Tulsa.

In her time here she has enriched the lives of countless TU students, and she will be missed by all who had the privilege of knowing her.

We wish her the best of luck going forward, and are excited to meet her replacement. They will have some very big shoes to fill at the Little Blue House. community, and is ultimately thrilled when students she worked with rise to leadership positions in Tulsa. When TU Habitat for Humanity was fundraising, she and other Little Blue House participants participated in a “decorate a gingerbread house” event and won by recreating the Little Blue House with gingerbread, she reminisced.

For Shack-a-thon, her team built the “little blue shack” and won the “Most Durable” award, which she called “an ironic twist given that the little blue house is one of the least durable buildings on campus.”

Now, however, Eggen is retiring. She plans on remaining an ordained minister with the United Church of Christ, and she, her husband, and her daughter will be staying in Tulsa for the foreseeable future.

Her successor is Jennie Wachowski, and Eggen is confident she is perfect for the job.

As for her own legacy, Nancy Eggen feels content: “I hope that if I leave a legacy, it’s through relationships. That’s a pretty good legacy for me.”

Photo by the Collegian

The missing wall before the fradulent names were added.

Kristyn Baker competes in Miss Oklahoma pageant TU student Kristyn Baker identifies pageantry as a strong support system that shaped her into the person she is today.

KiMbeRly poff Staff Writer

The Miss Oklahoma Scholarship Pageant will be held at the Mabee Center from June 3rd to 7th. TU’s own Kristyn Baker is hoping for a little home town advantage this year when she competes for her third time.

In addition to competing previously at the Miss Oklahoma pageant, she has won awards in several other pageants in the Miss America Organization. Last year she placed in the top ten of Miss Oklahoma. In high school she competed in the Miss Arkansas’ Outstanding Teen and held the Miss Teen Arkansas International title for a year where she placed 4th runner up at the Miss Teen International Pageant.

Kristyn credits pageantry with shaping her as a whole person. “From honing and perfecting a talent, working a service platform in your community that you believe strongly in, living a fit, healthy lifestyle, and staying plugged into what’s going on in the world around you, being a pageant contestant in the Miss America Organization is a huge time commitment.”

Kristyn is an accomplished tap dancer, performing to Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” at last year’s Miss Oklahoma Pageant. Her community service platform focuses on raising awareness and support for children with communication and hearing disorders. She works closely with the Little Light House

both as a volunteer and as an advocate.

Her experience with pageantry has extended into her academic career. Her minor in speech-language pathology is what made her interested in volunteering with speechimpaired children. Her pageant experiences often lead the children she volunteers with to ask if she is a princess.

Many people have strong opinions about pageantry. Shows like “Toddlers in Tiaras” have put it front and center in popular culture debates. Kristyn defends against these negative depictions, saying “my experiences have been nothing short of incredible.”

Pageantry prepared Kristyn for life after graduation. “It has given me the strongest support system I could possibly ask for, some of my best friends, and invaluable life lessons in commitment, motivation, and service.” she says of her experience.

Photo Courtesy missoklahoma.org

TU student Kristyn Baker.

NEWS

the Collegian : 7

Eye on the world: Magdalena Sudibjo Staff Writer Asia South Korea A ferry carrying 475 people, consisting of mostly high school students on a school trip, sank off South Korea’s southern coast last Wednesday, leading to at least 64 deaths with the number expected to rise.

Over 170 people have been rescued with about 280 people still missing.

“I am really sorry and deeply ashamed. I don’t know what to say,” Captain Lee Joonseok of the sunken ferry said in a statement last Thursday. According to reports, the captain was one of the first to leave the sinking vessel.

Officials are still investigating the reason for the ferry’s malfunction.

India In a landmark judgment, a top court in India last Tuesday recognized transgender people as a “third gender,” identifying them as a socially and economically disadvantaged class.

“Recognition of transgenders as a third

April 10 15:00 A University employee reported 2 unidentified males approached their juvenile daughter and a friend to pose for pictures for a school project while they were playing on Dietler Commons. When the child went to ask for permission from the parent, the males left without incident.

19:25 An employee reported 2 unidentified juveniles threw a rock at a shuttle bus as it approached West Park Apartments. There was no damage to the bus and Officers were unable to locate the suspects.

April 11

gender is not a social or medical issue but a human rights issue,” said Justice K.S. Radhakrishnan during his ruling.

“Today, for the first time I feel very proud to be an Indian,” said well-known activist Laxmi Narayan Tripathi in a public statement.

The ruling came just four months after the same court decided to recriminalize gay sex, which had been effectively legalized in 2009.

Africa Burundi

21 April 2014

delicate stability gained since a 12-year civil war ended in 2005.

Europe England Two North Korean officials visited London’s Foreign Office last week to demand the removal of a hair salon’s promotional poster that featured a picture of North Korea’s leader Kim Jong Un. The poster, which was posted just a short walk from the embassy, sported these captions: “Bad Hair Day? 15 percent off all gent cuts through the month of April.”

The London police confirmed that they had spoken to both sides and said that “there were no offenses” for them to investigate.

Last Thursday, Burundi’s foreign ministry demanded that a United Nations security advisor leave the country after the previous week’s alleged leaked report accused Burundi’s government of arming members of the youth league in light of the coming 2015 elections.

“I can assure you that any action to bring about war in general, and to commit genocide in particular, cannot be tolerated,” said Vice President Prosper Bazombanza in a public broadcast last Tuesday.

Coupled with the recent controversy over President’s Pierre Nkurunziza’s legislative move that may allow him to run for a third term, current politics have threatened the

Ukraine

12:35 A custodial employee was terminated after a supervisor found a small bag of marijuana on the employee’s cart in Rayzor Hall. No arrest was made and the marijuana was confiscated and destroyed by Campus Security.

1:00 Officers responded to a Mayo Village Apartment regarding a noise complaint. During the investigation, Officers observed the smell of marijuana in the room, paraphernalia in plain view and a prescription bottle for Adderall prescribed to a person not associated to the residents. Officers searched the apartment but were unable to find more contraband. No arrests were made. The paraphernalia and prescription medicine was confiscated and destroyed.

caused the damage was still in the area. There are no suspects at this time.

April 15

April 16

17:05 Officers responded to a call from staff in Fisher South about a strong odor of marijuana. After a standard room search, marijuana and paraphernalia were found and destroyed.

17:06 An officer observed a child riding in the bed of a truck with no child restraint. Officers stopped the vehicle at 5th Place and Harvard Avenue. Tulsa Police were contacted and citations were issued for having no child restraint and for driving without a license.

April 13 1:40 An Officer on patrol observed a female helping what appeared to be an intoxicated male off the ground near Fisher East Hall. After making contact, Officers learned the male had attended a fraternity party, was intoxicated, not of legal age to consume alcohol and not affiliated with TU. Officers have had previous contact with the suspect. Officers contacted Tulsa Police and detained the suspect after he became uncooperative, verbally abusive and spit on the Officers. The suspect was arrested by Tulsa Police for Assault with Body Fluids and Intoxicated Disturbing the Peace. Officers issued a Trespass Warning to the suspect.

Diplomats from Russia, Ukraine, the United States and the European Union agreed during last Thursday’s Geneva talk to deescalate the crisis that could spark civil war in Ukraine.

Pro-Russian, anti-government separatists occupied several government buildings earlier this month in the eastern Ukrainian cities of Donetsk, Luhansk and Kharkiv, demanding a referendum on their independence.

The four parties in Geneva agreed that all “illegal armed groups” must disarm and vacate occupied government buildings,

20:00 Officers responded to a student in University Square South Apartments for a complaint of a hit and run accident. The investigating officer found no evidence that the vehicle which

photo courtesy wpmedia.news.nationalpost.com

The above poster was used by a London hair salon for their advertisement.

adding that all protesters will be granted amnesty unless they have been judged guilty of a capital offense.

Delegates also discussed possible constitutional reforms that would give greater regional autonomy to eastern parts of Ukraine.

U.S. officials appear hopeful but cautious.

“I don’t think we can be sure of anything at this point,” said U.S. President Barack Obama of the deal in a White house briefing.

9:15 A checkbook was turned over and impounded at Campus Security for safekeeping.

10:15 A student’s vehicle was impounded from the LaFortune Lot after it parked in violation and had been previously identified as a frequent violator of TU’s Parking Regulations.

The Collegian does not produce or edit the Campus Crime Watch except for content and brevity.

TU dominates Donald W. Reynolds Governor’s Cup competition For the second year TU does well in the Governor’s Cup competition, and will continue on to compete in Las Vegas.

Kimberly Poff Staff Writer

On Thursday, April 10 three University of Tulsa teams were awarded more than $50,000 in prizes and scholarships at the 2014 Donald W. Reynolds Governor’s Cup collegiate business plan competition.

The prizes were awarded after a two-day business presentation competition on April 4 and 5. TU took first and second in the undergraduate division, as well as first in the graduate division. All three teams will be moving on to compete against winners from Arkansas and Nevada in the tri-state competition in Las Vegas on May 22 and 23.

First place in the undergraduate division was awarded to Owlpal Healthcare composed of Jordy Albert and MacKenzie Ward.

Owlpal is a smartphone app which records wheezing and coughing rates in sleeping children for better diagnosis and monitoring of asthma. In addition to Owlpal’s $20,000 prize winnings, junior management major Ward was also the recipient of a $5,000 Oklahoma business Roundtable Paulsen Award Scholarship.

Owlpal’s first place finish and the interest it has generated from the venture capital community in the area, has allowed CEO Albert to pursue the company full time after graduation. “Up until the competition, my plan for this May had been to move to Boston to stay within the venture capital space,” said the senior economics major. “Never did I expect our product, Owlpal, to generate as much traction as it has recently. As a result, I will no longer be moving to Boston. Instead, I will be in Tulsa running my own digital health company at 21 years of age.”

Second place in the undergraduate division was awarded to Valoshade, composed of seniors Eric Kuxhausen, Jack Lestina, Alex Lach and Kimberly Poff. Valoshade is an app which controls the opacity of a thin plastic film applied to windows allowing users to control the degree of natural lighting in rooms from their smart phone.

The Valoshade team drew upon CEO and

computer science major Kuxhausen’s experience in designing a market-leading app for Phillips Hue light bulbs. The app allows smartphone control of the intensity and color of artificial lighting.

This team is slightly unique in that, despite its tech start-up experience, it featured no formal business majors. CFO and computer science major Lestina felt that the competition gave them access to experts in areas which balanced the teams’ weaknesses. “It was a great experience to receive helpful feedback from so many professionals in the tech startup scene.”

First place in the graduate division was taken by the largest team, AeroHead. Lead

by MBA student Philip McCoy and composed of undergraduate members Bryan Kinzer, Kristina Merkle, Gann Swan, SeYeon Kim and Yang Zhao, this team swept the graduate competitions, winning the pitch, interview and oral presentation components.

AeroHead is bringing a new golf putter to the market which induces overspin and allows for a straighter, longer ball trajectory.

The putter draws on thirty years of putter research by AeroHead advisor and mechanical engineering professor Steve Tipton.

Dr. Tipton leads a team with a mix of students across ages and disciplines. “I’m very fired up about our team since all three mechanical engineering students are freshmen.

The lone grad student is exceptional and the business seniors are very cool. We have a unique collection of talents and personalities. I think everyone on the team contributed a lot and grew accordingly.”

Team leader McCoy came in thinking of the competition as an academic exercise.

“I originally chose to compete because my advisor told me ‘no quizzes, and no tests’, and the class sounded like real world experience and also super fun.” Instead, he walked away not only with a portion of the team’s $20,000 winnings, but also the experience of a lifetime. “It ended up being by far the most work I’ve ever put into a class, and it has been insanely rewarding.”

This is the second year in a row TU has swept both the undergraduate and graduate divisions. All teams have high hopes for the Photo Courtesy Alex Lach tri-state competition in Las Vegas, where The above images were taken during the awards ceremony for the 2014 Donald W. Reynolds Governor’s Cup first place teams will be awarded $30,000. collegiate business plan competition.

Commentary

the Collegian : 8

21 April 2014

Drinking soda­—riskier than you might think The chemicals in soda offer few nutritional benefits while also actively harming your health.

Helen Patterson Staff Writer

Soda is bad for you. I know what you are all thinking. Of course soda is bad for you. It has too much sugar; it rots your teeth. It’s okay if I have it only a few times a week or swap regular soda for diet, right?

Actually, a lot of separate studies have shown negative health effects of both regular and diet soda in a wide variety of ways.

The primary issue that most people confront when it comes to sodas is weight gain. There are many studies showing a correlation between drinking soda and being overweight.

Soda contains a lot of empty, non-nutritive calories which confuse the body. You can easily slurp down several hundred, or even several thousand, empty soda calories during a day without realizing it.

Even switching to diet soda

to such effect are flawed, but they have a definite bias, as promoting soda sales is in their interest.

Beyond the more superficial issue of weight gain, soda consumption has been linked with a host of negative health effects, including damage from high levels of acid, the side effects of questionable chemicals and other health complications stemming from the BPA lining in the aluminum cans.

Both diet and regular sodas contain a high amount of phosphoric acid which damages the enamel of teeth. A University of Michigan study linked soda drinking to greater tooth decay, more fillings and missing teeth.

Phosphoric acid can also decrease bone density when the body tries to counter high levels of phosphoric acid by pulling calcium from the bones.

There are many unsavory chemicals found in soda. Diet sodas have preservatives called sodium benzoate and potassium benzoate which the Center for Science in the Public Interest, a non-profit in Washington DC, says are linked to asthma, hives and other allergic reactions.

Mountain Dew and other citrusflavored sodas contain flame retardants called brominated vegetable oil (BVO). Overexposure to bromine has been linked to skin prob-

“Soda contains a lot of empty calories which confuse the body” doesn’t seem to help with weight according to several studies, including a recent one at The University of Texas.

It is thought that the artificial sweeteners in diet soda trick the body into overeating because they mess with your ability to regulate calorie consumption from sweets.

Children in particular are vulnerable to weight gain from soda consumption. The American Beverage Association claims studies

lems, memory loss and nerve disorders. Those chemicals have also been banned in Europe and Japan.

There is a debate about whether or not BVO levels in sodas are high enough to be unsafe.

Finally, there is the aluminum can itself which is lined with bisphenol-A (BPA).

BPA leeches into foods and is more likely to leach into acidic foods, such as soda. As an estro-

But what of the wall?

As many people on campus have likely noticed, the brick wall in front of McFarlin Library has disappeared. To where, I don’t know. An argument broke out in the newsroom earlier this week over who took it, and where.

One person thought it was stolen, another claimed to have seen it in pieces in the back of a dump truck.

At any rate, a general feeling of sympathy was shared for those who had donated enough money

doomed to fade away.

2) Donating money is stupid.

Concerning the first point I must say that it seems pretty obvious, but I shall elucidate further, for the sake of people not as smart as me.

Material is imperfect, and as such it cannot be expected to last forever.

When the university built the wall, surely they must have known that it would one day topple. So it goes with structures, and so it must go with all of us.

On to my second point, that charity is stupid. Really, who wants to donate money to a cause only to have the wall with your name on it knocked down? It is true that all things, including money and glory, are transient.

However, if you donate money in exchange for the glory and fame (since humans are animals that are motivated by self-interest, I can’t think of any other reason to give money), one day the wall with your name on it will fall and you

to have their names placed on the wall.

I shared this feeling, or at least I would have if sympathy weren’t a useless emotion.

I pondered the disappearance of the wall as I browsed through several of the many online Pokemon communities of which I am a member. After some thought, I reached the following conclusions: 1) All things are transient,

will be without either.

If, however, you invest in Bitcoin, or a subscription to World of Warcraft, you can enjoy the fruits of your labors for many years to come, or at least until Mom stops paying for WiFi. Since the writing of this article, the Collegian has learned the true folly of the wall. To learn what we know, to the extent that anyone can ever really know anything, see p 6.

Just as all things come to an end, so did that mysterious wall outside of McFarlin. But where does that leave us?

Fraser Kastner

Staff Writer

Calories consumed through soda by different age groups of Americans per day

Graphic courtesy of the Center for Disease Control

The bar graph above displays the number of kilocalories (or Calories) consumed through soda or other sugary drinks per day by males and females of different age groups in America.

gen mimicker, BPA can interfere in the development of the reproductive and nervous systems. In adults, it has been linked to reproductive problems.

The health risks listed above are

only a few of the many possible side effects of soda consumption.

However, soda is not the sole culprit. We live in a world of processed, prepackaged foods and drinks.

Consider these warnings about soda to be a stepping stone to greater awareness about what you are putting in your body. Try trading soda for water and Cheetos for carrots every once in a while.

Musings

from Will Boogert Copy Editor

The fact that I can write some words (it was originally going to be poetry, but that soon felt opulent as the article began to evolve) to decorate the corner of a page of a weekly student newspaper at an expensive private university in the United States of America is not much of an accomplishment to be proud of.

Getting good grades, graduating from school, having every opportunity in the world open to me: it’s what everyone aspires to, isn’t it?

Most students at this university find themselves in possession of a set of circumstances such as these, which I would imagine a majority of the world’s citizens could only dream of for themselves.

I don’t know, I guess I’m sitting here wondering what to write for the commentary section, and I’m upset about it because I don’t know exactly what my point should be: I know I want to write about how we don’t have any problems, not us here in America, compared to what a problem it must be to wonder where your next bit of food is coming from.

And I say “we” don’t have any problems as in us, in the first world, which is apparently so separate from that distant “third world”.

So I think that just having the luxury to sit in an air-conditioned room on a Sun-

day afternoon in front of a table full of bagels paid for on the University’s dime might just invalidate any opinion I have to give, because I really have nothing meaningful to worry about in life.

I understand that everyone’s circumstances are different—families can fall apart no matter how rich you are, mental illness is not scared off by affluence, and “forever” is a word that we can hope for but never be completely sure of.

But if I let this realization make me feel guilty, I think I’ve missed the point of being aware of my circumstances entirely.

I should be grateful for where I find myself today—I hear this in the voices of my parents, both of whom I know and am loved by—and I am.

What I’m trying to say is that the next time I wonder whether or not somebody likes me, or if I should go out on a Friday night or stay in, or whether I should shower before bed or before class in the morning, I’m going to try to remember what the point of a university education is, or what I think it should be: to put oneself in a better position to give more of themselves back to the world that produced them, and enrich the lives of all people, no matter where they live or how they look.

Barricade of the Week: Taipei, Taiwan

“It is true that all things, including money and glory, are transient”

Photo courtesy of zacwrites.com

In a month-long series of protests that ended just last week, student groups in Taiwan’s capital, Taipei, stormed the Legislative Yuan in order to protest the country’s approval of the Cross-Strait Service Trade Agreement, a trade pact with the People’s Republic of China. The biggest complaint was that the pact was not subjected to a clause-by-clause review and would subsequently weaken Taiwan’s economy.

Commentary

21 april 2014

the Collegian : 9

Haikus of the Week: Social Media justify your One forty letters major: psychology It’s new age pornography

Twitter ends our thoughts Glamour shots and pics Monotonous glory so Fills my haunted soul

We’ve all been in that conversation. An engineering major complains that liberal arts majors are not putting in “real work,” or a liberal arts major assumes that a business or engineering student must be in it for the money. By no means do these views represent all or even the majority of the University of Tulsa’s student body, but they are present and painfully visible. It is for this reason that I am introducing the Justify Your Major column, a chance to show the student body why you love your major. This is the last issue of the semester, so if you want to justify your major next year, you should e-mail the new commentary editor. We are not sure who that will be, but you should e-mail them anyway.

and expertise that make someone more attractive to the world of business.

What does a degree in psychology do for the typical student when the goal of most psychology curricula is to produce competencies and comprehension of psychological theory and studies? A whole lot, actually.

Because most psychology classes focus sheerly on the comprehension of a potentially esoteric knowledge base, especially when few high schools give much of a grounding in the field beyond AP Psychology, students learn to take in a large amount of information and process it in ways relevant to everyday life.

Even outside of the disciplines of mental health and social work, psychology majors are being increasingly sought after by businesses for expertise in working with people. Whether or not those skills actually come from a psy-

when Wilhelm Wundt set up the first psychology laboratory at the University of Leipzig.

Therein lies the goal of the psychological sciences: to measure, model and predict the way people behave, think and perceive in our world. That desire for clarity in regards to understanding humanity remains very popular, as psychology is one of the most, if not the most, popular major in the United States.

In fact, psychology is the most popular major in the Henry Kendall College of Arts and Sciences here at the University of Tulsa.

If the major is so ubiquitous in contemporary academic life, it becomes important to discuss its utility.

The purpose of a contemporary undergraduate stint in college is often said to be to develop skills

patRiCK CReedon

Commentary Editor

The philosophers of old were driven by their desire to know empirically what made up not only the world but man. This desire oft went unfulfilled due to the mercurial nature of people’s consciousness and the inherent biases of the individual philosophers.

The nature of the mind has always fascinated those philosophers, but it was not until the late 1800s that anyone resembling a scientist began to tackle the problem of ascertaining individual variations in thought. That was

chology program is not for me to say, as my experience of a psychology curriculum is limited to the University of Tulsa.

TU’s Department of Psychology has been instrumental to my growth as someone who might one day be considered an academic.

I was originally attracted to the major because I liked the AP class I had taken in high school, and I thought that the experiments in psychology were, and I quote, “hella cool.”

I was quickly convinced by the department’s faculty and older students that the only way to do anything interesting in psychology that did not involve clinical or social work would be to get a PhD and do research.

That may have been a slight exaggeration on their part, but what I developed over the past several years here was a deep reverence for the process of conducting research and communicating scien-

tifically.

This process was ameliorated

by TU’s psychology program being so willing to work with undergraduate students.

I once walked into a professor’s office with little to no preamble and asked if he had any projects to work on, and a year later we were on a plane to New Orleans to present research at a national psychology conference.

The study of psychology has exploded in a way that the field’s fathers William James or Edward Titchener could not have foreseen in the early 1900s. However, its study opens up so many doors for students wishing to do a myriad of different things, whether it be academia, mental health, industry, or business.

Getting a degree in psychology gives students the capacity for complex analysis; they just need to take initiative to find what they want to do with those skills.

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NEWS

21 april 2013

the Collegian : 10

Former SA president runs for city council Dan Patten, who has served as both president of SA and campaign manager to Dewey Bartlett, has entered the race for Tulsa City Council.

Conor Fellin Managing Editor

Dan Patten, a University of Tulsa alumnus and Student Association’s president during the 2009– 2010 school year, entered the race for the District 4 seat of Tulsa City Council on April 15. Patten will be running against incumbent and Blue Ox Dining Group owner Blake Ewing.

The Collegian talked to Patten about the race, his time at TU and his plans for Tulsa.

Patten recalls being an underdog in his race for SA president, when he ran against SA’a former vice president and its chief of staff.

Despite this, Patten “ran a good campaign” and won the presidency.

Though he has been involved in student government as far back as he can remember, Patten describes his time with SA as the first time he had to deal with constituents.

“When I ran as SA president, I thought I had a lot of great ideas as to how I wanted the school to be,” Patten said. When he was elected,

however, he found that “you have a lot of competing interests, and most everyone has a pretty valid point on why they want something the way it is or the way it should be.”

“I wanted to be president...when I saw Danny Patten’s leadership in that office,” said John Lepine, then a freshman senator who would go on to take the presidency in 2012.

Patten first became involved in local politics when he served as campaign manager for Dewey Bartlett in the most recent Tulsa mayoral election.

“Even though (Bartlett) was speaking at events, a lot of times I was speaking for him,” Patten

said, “and I was handling the constituents’ concerns. That was when I was figuring out what it was going to be like running for city councillor.”

Patten is now running for city counsel on a platform of fiscal conservativism, road development and improved public safety.

Patten denied concerns that, as Bartlett’s former campaign manager, he would be “the mayor’s puppet.” When asked how his policy would differ from Bartlett’s, he said, after a short pause, that he would be a little more willing than Bartlett to invest in Tulsa’s future.

Patten commented upon the difficulty of running against Ew-

from the

archives

Dan Patten: a retrospective In celebration of Dan Patten’s recently announced candidacy for city council, we at the Collegian are taking a look back at some of the best articles written by or about Patten while he was at TU. Below: Taken from the April 7, 2009, issue, this letter by James Santucci advocates Patten in the upcoming presidential election and professes the belief that Patten is capable of being in multiple places at once.

Above right: In this Oct. 27, 2009, letter, Patten announces his first use of the presidential veto, killing a bill to make the Caf trayless.

Below right: By April 6, 2010, Patten’s term was drawing to a close. In this letter, he describes the upand-coming SA executive candidates with some truly groan-worthy rhymes.

All articles courtesy Collegian archives.

TU student Jade Moon Dittus to showcase work at The Phoenix Tulsa student Jade Moon Dittus develops her artwork at TU, preferring landscapes and portraits.

Helen Patterson Staff Writer

Jade Moon Dittus, a senior Fine Arts Major at TU, will debut her paintings and prints in a show entitled “Pieces” throughout the month of May at The Phoenix, located at 1302 E. 6th Street. The Phoenix regularly displays the work of an Artist of the Month without cost to the artist. Jade will be the first TU student to have a show there. She is very enthusiastic about working with The Phoenix. She says that “it’s always about the artist there.” There is an opening reception at The Phoenix on Thursday, May 1 from 6–9 p.m.

As part of her graduation requirements as a fine arts major, Jade was required to put together her own show. She had to find the venue herself and do all of the advertising, which

was a daunting and time-consuming process.

However, it all came together in “Pieces.”

Jade titled the show “Pieces” because “There’s a little bit of myself in each of the paintings,” she says. “Each of the paintings is basically a child.” Most of the pieces displayed are portraits and landscapes, Jade’s preferred subject matter. Prints and paintings will be for sale.

The show will have between fifteen and twenty pieces ranging from small etches to a huge oil painting. Jade works mostly in oil paintings, monotypes and etches. Though she only discovered it in the fall of 2012, oil painting is Jade’s current favorite medium. She says “it gives a whole other texture” to her painting, a texture lacking in acrylic paints or watercolors. Printmaking and monotypes are also relatively new to her. She has enjoyed learning these and other techniques and fusing them with her own personal style during her time at TU.

Artwork by Jade Moon

After her May graduation, Jade wants to continue to hone her artistic skills. In the upcoming year, she is looking into travelling around the country to different studios and workshops where she can study with experienced artists and build up her portfolio.

She is looking into several graduate schools which offer MFAs in painting, including SCAD (Savannah College of Art and Design) in Georgia and AI (Art Institute) in California. In the future, she wants to be a full-time artist, and possibly the owner of a small café, vintage and gallery venue and/or an art instructor.

Jade will also have a piece displayed during the TU Arts and Humanities Festival on Tuesday, April 29 from 1–5 p.m.

ing, the incumbent District 4 city councilor and owner of the restaurant conglomerate Blue Ox Dining Group, which among others includes Joe Mamma’s and the Phoenix. However, recalling his tough race to become SA president, Patten expressed confidence in his ability to win.

To pull that off, Patten plans to spend his time door-to-door campaigning in the months between now and the Nov. 4 election.

When asked if he had any advice for the newly incumbent Michael Mancini, Patten kept it simple. “Have fun,” he said. “Being SA president was one of the most fun years of my life.”

the Collegian : 11

neWS

21 april 2014

President Upham discusses day’s work, policy With the 2013–2014 school year drawing to a close, Editor-in-Chief J.Christopher Proctor and Managing Editor Conor Fellin sat down with University President Steadman Upham to check in on the life of the president and ask about the University’s future. We learned a lot, including why the new food court was designed, that there should be no undergrads at the Aloft next year and that TU can expect a few more years with Stead at the helm.

Conor Fellin: We’re looking at the end of the second year since your return to TU. What have those last two years looked like for you?

Steadman upham: My gosh, they have gone so fast. It is remarkable. I was 74 days into retirement when I got the phone call and to be honest with you the first few weeks of retirement I was pretty restless. I didn’t have the routine that I normally had, but after 74 days, I was settling in.

But coming back has been terrific. I realized, in coming back, how much I loved this place and how special the University is. You know, sometimes God just opens up opportunities for you, and you just have to go with the flow. What it said to me was my work’s not done here.

So I’m back, and I’ll tell you I’m fully engaged.

We have been super busy in all kinds of projects: new building projects and new initiatives. So it’s been very exciting.

CF: Do you tend to see the years after Orsak as being continuous with the years before him?

Su: Well, I think it was your paper that called me the Grover Cleveland of the University of Tulsa.

In my mind, it’s continuous. Seventy-four days

is really not long enough to see a separation. Although quite a few things changed while I was gone, nothing irrevocable. We’re very much back on track.

CF: Is there a retirement time in the works right now, or is that something that’s still undetermined?

Su: To be honest with you, it’s undetermined, but the board of trustees is working on a package that would be probably another couple of years.

There’s no agreement, but it’s being proposed.

I’m talking to my wife about it, because we’re

study of mammals) and paleontology. So I’m living vicariously through his accomplishments in the paleontological realm.

JCP: Yeah, I was expecting something like business or “how to run a university.” But paleontology? That’s more interesting.

CF: Or something related to your painting.

Su: That’s strictly avocational.

CF: Actually, could you tell us a little bit about your artwork?

Su: I’ve painted on and off my entire life. You

“Being President is an eating job”

partners in this. She works as hard as I do for the University. So we’ll see, but my anticipation is I’ll be here for another couple of years. Maybe longer, maybe three.

J.Christopher Proctor: When you first came back, we just assumed it would be a quick bandaid until we could get someone new, but it’s been great having you stay.

Su: The way that transition occurred, there was a lot of talk about what would be the right time to go back into a search process. To have another one right then probably would have damaged the institution a little bit. It’s been easy to stay. I love this place.

CF: What is the typical day in the life of Steadman Upham like?

Su: Every day is different. And that’s one of the fascinating things about the job. Even if you have a schedule laid out, like I do for every day, you just never know what is going to land on your desk or walk through the door. In a lot of respects, we’re like a small city. We have 4600 students. We’ve got 1200 employees. There are all kinds of people coming on and off campus. Because of that, things happen.

It’s life in action. And there are unexpected opportunities that arise and take you off your schedule.

I need to call this person, or I need to call that person. It’s a great job, but it’s always different.

CF: Can you think of a specific day that you were surprised by what the day brought you?

Su: Routinely. It happens several times a week, actually.

April 4 was my birthday, and so I woke up thinking, “Oh my gosh, I’m gonna come in and everybody’s going to be telling me how old I am.” The very first thing that happened is I got a call from Danny Manning saying he was leaving. He did such a great job for us. I just wish him the best.

That set in motion a process that’s consumed me for two weeks.

JCP: It’s always so nice when these coaching searches are finally over.

Su: Yeah, and there’s always second-guessing. You’ve just got to close your ears and not read the paper.

JCP: What is your favorite part about being president?

Su: I certainly like working with students. That’s what brought me into the university in the first place.

I taught for many years before I got into administration. Every time I’ve had an administrative job, whether it’s been a dean or a vice provost or whatever, I’ve found ways to continue to interact with students, even if it’s just driving a golf cart across campus and stopping to talk to students. That’s what keeps me going.

CF: What’s your least favorite part about being president?

Su: Oh, golly, all the issues that require dispute resolution. That’s probably the nicest way to say it. In a big organization, not everybody gets what they perceive is coming to them. So you need to adjudicate.

JCP: If you could get a degree in something other than your college major and what you’ve taught, what would it be?

Su: My degree is in archaeology, and about halfway through my career, I realized that I was limiting myself in my study of the past. I got involved reading a lot of paleontology, because the time depth goes all the way back to basically the first organisms on the planet. My son’s working on that. At that time—I don’t remember what year it was—he was just a preteen, and I was doing a lot of talking about that at home.

He just finished his PhD in evolutionary biology, which is a combination of mamology (the

know, I don’t know exactly how to describe it.

It’s an outlet for me. It’s peaceful. It’s solitary.

The style of painting that I do requires concentration, and it’s sort of Zen-like after a couple of hours, so it’s really relaxing.

I guess that’s why I do it, but I also like the end product. I love color. I love texture.

JCP: In the off-chance that any future university presidents are reading this interview, do you have any advice for them?

Su: You know, one of the things you learn after being president a long time is that advice to a potential president is probably not terribly welcome.

The first thing I would say is being president is an eating job, sometimes three meals on the job, sometimes more than three meals if you get double-scheduled for a dinner or a lunch.

There’s an incredibly important pastoral function that goes along with the job. People look to you for advice and making the right decision and creating the right kind of atmosphere.

to accommodate the growth? We had a plan to create more housing in advance of the growth, but when the markets crashed in 2008, it really took us off our game. We put all our efforts into preserving programs and making sure we didn’t have to terminate or lay off any employees. So all the things we were doing to stimulate student growth went on, and all of the sudden we have this tidal wave of students coming at us. We have another tidal wave, but right now it looks like we’ll be able to accommodate everyone on campus. Undergraduate places on campus have been prioritized. If there is displacement this year, it will probably involve some graduate students or English Institute students.

JCP: One of the things that people have been most excited about this year are the new dining options in ACAC. Could you talk a little bit about that change? Are there other big physical changes to campus that we should be looking for in the next few years?

Su: Let me talk about the first part. We have wanted more dining options in ACAC, and it began with Chick-Fil-A and Subway. We redid the menu at the Hut. There was Benvenuto’s.

But the prime mover on this was the fact that we’re building a new dormitory with 311 beds right next to ACAC. The demographic shift of residents is going to be noticeable. We wanted to create more dining venues in the center of campus. Pat Case is great. Pat Case is crowded.

We’re more than doubling the seating in ACAC, and so there’ll be more sit down space. I think there’s going to be eleven or twelve dining options when we’re done. It’s gonna be fun.

What to expect in the future? The next thing on the list is a classroom/office building. We need more classroom space. We need more faculty offices. So we are looking at options right now— actually had a meeting yesterday—about the

“We don’t want to be perceived as a technical university like Rice or MIT” A new president suffers from the five-pound rule; for every one of the first five years a person is president, they gain five pounds a year. If you’re not careful, it can begin to slow you down. I’ve been through those cycles.

Other than that, I’d say it’s a fabulous job. Anyone who has the opportunity to be the president of a university is very privileged.

JCP: There are fears among some students who are more football inclined that we might be turning back into a basketball school like we were in the early 2000s. What are your thoughts about that?

Su: My mantra is, if we’re going to participate in any endeavor, we need to work as hard as we can to be participants at the highest level. It was only a short two years ago that we were 11–2, went to a conference championship and went to the Liberty Bowl where we beat a Big 12 team. I’m not terribly worried about football. Last season was disappointing, and the first person who would tell you that is Bill Blankenship. He was very challenged and upset about the season. He’s working hard. His coaches are working hard. We’ll be better this year, how much better I don’t know.

We’re committed to the Division I profile. I don’t think our alumni or the boosters of the university, and certainly not the board of trustees, want any diminishment of our competitive edge. So we’ll do our best.

JCP: As a history major, I have a bit of an issue; we don’t have a history professor that specializes in European history anytime after the fall of the Roman Empire and before the Russian Revolution. That’s a pretty big gap for a history department to have. I know in the state of the university you discussed how it’s really only in the last four years that we’ve had this exodus of students from the arts and sciences. Is that something that the university’s wanting to fight against, or are we just going to let what happens happen and adapt to it?

Su: This year, for the very first time, we have

possibility of getting a classroom/office building going.

We’re renovating the John, a $10 million project, and as soon as we finish the John we’ll immediately go over to Lottie Jane and do the same thing.

JCP: A few more narrow questions: It seems like every year we make the list of the “most overachieving” universities, which we tout as a good thing, because it seems like we’re better than people think we are. But it also means people don’t know we’re as good as we actually are. I know part of it’s overcoming the “where’s Tulsa” effect. I was wondering if you could talk about anything we’ve been doing recently to fix that.

Su: That’s a very slow indicator to change, but it is getting better. We’re just going to keep doing the things we’re doing. We reach out. We publicize. We get help whenever our team plays in the NCAA, and the announcers say, “Tulsa’s a small school and a high academic school.” A lot of people still think we’re a large, public, urban university. Even people who know ought to know better, people who have been in higher education a long time say, “Really? Tulsa’s private?” It’s very frustrating.

JCP: There’s one of my personal ideas that I want to run by you, because I will never get the chance again. We’ve had a lot of complaints about the traffic on Delaware. It’s the only real street that crosses through campus. That can sometimes be annoying and sometimes be a real problem. I know a lot of the girls have problems with getting cat-called on Delaware. Would it be possible to cut off Delaware right in front of the U between Sixth and Fourth, fill that in, have another intramural field and cut off the campus more so?

Su: It’s a highly desirable idea. Whether we could get it through the city is another matter.

Delaware is viewed as an artery to 244, so I think it would probably be a long, bitter battle. We also have a very good neighbor who is an industrial

“We have changed our financial aid strategies to encourage students who are interested in arts and sciences to actually come to TU” changed our financial aid strategies to encourage students who are interested in arts and sciences to actually come to TU. The change in the balance is not a problem—we’re managing it well—but the arts and sciences college really represents the core of the liberal arts, and we’re a liberal arts university. We don’t want to be overly weighted so that we are perceived as a technical university like Rice University or MIT. That’s not our aspiration. We really want to balance it.

We’ve added a lot of faculty and resources in engineering and natural sciences to keep pace with the student growth. We have very good faculty members who have said precisely what you just said about the gaps. Actually, the gap in history is probably closer to the top of the list. As soon as we can stimulate some more student growth, which I think we’re going to see this year, there will be additional resources.

JCP: While we’re talking about changes for next year, will we be putting students in the Aloft again?

Su: We hope not. There’s a real issue when you have enrollment growth, especially for a residential campus. Do you build the dorm before you have the growth and then hope for the growth, or do you have the growth and then build the dorm

partner, Bama Pie. They’ve got big trucks coming in and out all the time. They use Delaware usually.

But it’s a great idea. I would support it wholeheartedly. We can have a conversation with the city about it. The one thing in our favor is that we own both sides of the street. That’s one of the criteria if you’re going to close a street. So we could proceed on that basis, but it would be a fight.

JCP: Maybe Atlanta could be expanded?

Su: Kendall-Whittier School is in the way. Then you have EduCare and then West Park. It’s pretty continuous.

This is way before your time here, but we went through a process before we began to acquire property in the neighborhood. It was not always very peaceful. There was a lot of acrimony. Same when we started buying the south campus property. To reopen those wounds by trying to do something so major in the neighborhood would probably irritate people. We have good relationships with that neighborhood right now.

This interview was edited for brevity and clarity.

21 april 2014

the

the State-run Media: 12

State-Run media Too cool for CMYK.

The poverty solution to business More Business

Enterprising business owner capitalizes on the need of the well-off to feel as if they’ve helped the poor.

ConoR fellin

Rich in Knowledge Some businessmen may like to try to use business forces to “solve” poverty, but local businessman Harry Soren has recently developed a truly innovative initiative—exploiting poverty to bolster his own business.

“You probably think I mean exploiting a bunch of poor people,” Soren quipped, “but what I actually mean is exploiting the concept of poverty!”

Participants in Soren’s selfbranded “poverty experience,” Poverty LLC, pay one-thousand dollars to spend a day touring a neighborhood poorer than the one they live in. During the tour, the group is accosted by an actor (called a “poverty specialist”) who tells them that he or she only needs a hundred dollars to find a job, go to college, and/or rescue his or her children from an evil pyromaniac

with an eye tattoo on his ankle.

When everyone pitches in to give the poverty specialist the money he or she needs, the poverty specialist gives the customers a heart-warming sermon about how their donation has truly demonstrated that there is goodness and justice in the world.

The poverty experience culminates with a dance company of chimney sweeps performing a rousing musical number about the poverty expert’s inevitable rise to the middle class thanks to the customers’ generous donations. The poverty guide then takes the customers back to their cars.

“You know what makes Poverty LLC different from other poverty experiences?” fawned regular customer and oil tycoon Jimmy Madison. “Class! The last time I tried going to another poverty experience, some cheap knock-off called Food Pantry, none of the poor people had the courtesy to tell me how individual charity does far more to help the poor than welfare ever could. It was so rude!”

“Customer satisfaction is our number one priority,” Soren reas-

sured this reporter. “We train every one of our poverty specialists in poverty etiquette so that nothing gets in the way of our clientele enjoying their poverty experience.”

Soren went on to explain how new clients are given a questionnaire to determine what race, sex and age of poverty expert will most enhance their poverty experience.

For instance, 45% of clients fill in the sentence “______ deserve a second chance” with “people exactly like me.” In contrast, 33% of clients said that poverty experts of another race would make them “feel better about themselves when giving.”

When asked if Poverty LLC actually helped the community, Soren responded with an obviously rehearsed speech.

“In a world where it’s hard to tell if anything you do actually makes a difference, Poverty LLC provides people with a sense of efficacy,” Soren pontificated. “And in the end, that sort of soul-affirming confirmation of one’s own goodness is what the community truly needs. Right?”

Solutions to Poverty Spend millions of dollars advertising that your company gives money to charity so that more businesses are pressured into also giving money to charity.

Your grandfather made it by without taking any government handouts, and that’s because his company paid him a fair wage!

So pay your employees the same wage your grandfather’s company paid him.

Add a few zeros to your CEO’s paycheck. It’ll trickle down eventually!

Lost and Found: ancient University gospel uncovered

On the evening of April 20, 2011, a clay vase was found in a previously sealed-off corridor of McFarlin Library by a group of nomadic frat boys.

Inside the vase was a partially corroded text, written in what some scholars have described as a “rambling, nearly indecipherable attempt at coherence” in “likely the worst handwriting ever.” The author seems to lack any notion of narrative structure, and at times seems to slip into fits of ecstatic mania, followed by delusions of their own importance, much like many student-athletes.

The text itself seems to describe the actions of a “Wanderer”, and though the text is largely fabricated, parallels can be drawn between the events described and an incident in the early 70’s in which a homeless vagrant wandered onto campus, won over a few student followers, allegedly put LSD in several teachers’ coffee and wandered off, although not before stealing a considerable amount of taxidermy equipment from the biology department.

The following is a small excerpt from the aforementioned document.

n the second day of the third month, when the flowers did bloom and squirrels did fornicate in the trees, there did come unto the University a Wanderer.

From the west did he come, bearing in his right hand a dead squirrel, and in his left a shopping bag full of soiled laundry.

He was a man of singular speech and odor, and in short

time he had drawn the attention of Campus Security.

On the third day of the third month an officer of the Campus Security did halt the wanderer, and did ask of him his name and business.

And the wanderer spaketh unto him “I am known to men as B--- ---k--s (here the text is corroded) and I do what I want.”

At this did the officer become agitated, and did ask of the Wanderer again, “What is your business?”

But the Wanderer was not afeared and did beat the officer about the head and groin with his dead squirrel, which, while not deadly nor harmful, was super gross and did cause the officer much agitation.

And in his rage did the officer attempt to apprehend the Wanderer, but the Wanderer was fleet of foot, likely on account of his prodigious use of amphetamines.

Some days later, the Wanderer did arrive at a fraternity party, and asked to be allowed in.

And the doorman asked of the Wa n d e r e r , “Who the hell

are you bro?”

And the Wanderer did tell him his name and asked again to be let in, but the doorman denied the Wanderer, saying “No way bro you smell like a sewer rat.”

And the Wanderer did become much angered by t h i s, because many of his good friends were rats.

And so did the wanderer proceed to smite the doorman, or he totally would have, had the police not arrived to break up the party.

One day a teacher of the University did come unto the Wanderer and did ask of him his thoughts on life.

And after verifying that the teacher was not a cop, the Wanderer did ask of the teacher, what he was drinking.

A n d the

t e a ch e r said unto

him, “It is coffee, my beloved morning eye opener.”

And the Wanderer asked of him if it opened his third eye and the teacher said “Nay, it doth not,” or he would have if people still talked like that.

The Wanderer said unto him, “Fear not, I shall make your awakening complete” while emptying the contents of a small bottle into the coffee.

And when the teacher drank from the coffee his eyes were opened, and he saw the world as the prophet did.

Unfortunately, the mind of the teacher was unprepared for the vision of the Wanderer, and he was found naked in his office, scrawling gibberish over his research.

Upon one afternoon the Wanderer was walking behind a dorm, when he did spy an open window.

From the open window he did hear the sound of voices, and laughter, and music, and festivities.

But the Wanderer knew that this was but a trick of the flesh.

And in defiance against the flesh he did grab a squirrel and did heave it through th e

window, where now the voices became panicked and shrill, and the Wanderer decided to make a hasty withdrawal, as he knew that he had defeated the forces of evil.

There came a time when the University rallied its forces, and, reaching an agreement to drive the Wanderer from the campus, set out to find him.

He was found sitting under a tree, totally minding his own business and not bothering anyone.

But the injustices of this world are mighty, and the wanderer was beaten severely by many hands and feet, and he did feel that he had overstayed his welcome.

The following morning, the University awoke to find the Wanderer absent, along with many score taxidermical devices, and a golf cart missing.

Transcribed by University Historian of the Absurd, Dr. Fraser Kastner.

the State-Run Media: 13

21 April 2014

TU seniors happy to Which kitchen appliance answer questions represents your sex life?

Seniors are definitely not tired of being asked what they are doing after graduation.

Anna Bennett Has it all figured out

As graduation looms weeks away, seniors all over campus report being “totally cool” and “not at all stressed out” by their parents, friends, relative, professors and total strangers inquiring as to their plans post-graduation.

“I think it’s totally reasonable for them to expect us to have the rest of our lives figured out,” claims Meg Phobos, a graduating English major, “I think four years of block classes, being active in the history club and experimenting with my sexuality have really prepared me to pick a career I want to have until I die.”

Terry Phyde, a double major in Gender Studies and Poli Sci, is just as willing to talk about his future as Phobos. Phyde, who recently received a prestigious grant to write about queer theory in developing nations, says he “loves having to explain over and over again that gender studies does not involve looking at pictures of naked people.” He is equally excited about the prospect of making sure that all of his distant relatives know the difference between a research grant and a “goddamned leftist government handout.”

“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to try to explain my upcoming research to anyone and everyone who wants to make casual conversation,” says Phyde, “And I’m really more than willing to set the record straight on the geography of Western Africa, since most everyone’s frame of reference is The Lion King and The Book of Mormon. I never get tired of explaining. Really.”

Even those who are less prepared for the future than Phobos and Phyde still don’t mind being

reminded constantly that the seemingly endless undergrad utopia they’ve enjoyed is about to come crashing to an end.

“I personally find it to be a great source of motivation,” says Philosophy almost-graduate Anne Bivalence, referring to the constant barrage of questions from her close and extended family, “Being incessantly reminded of how I haven’t achieved the great things my loved ones expected of me keeps me moving forward, you know?”

Polly Deimos, a psych major who failed to be admitted to grad school this year, claims that the combination of May 10th’s nearness and the prospect of being unemployable have brought her to a state of Zen-like acceptance. “At first, the inevitable ‘What are you doing after you graduate?’ questions really irked me, and I’d feel like such a waste of an education when I had to reply that I didn’t know. Now when people ask, I just sort of feel… at one with the cosmic uncertainty of the universe.”

Deimos went on to explain that every fresh inquiry from her parents’ friends really just “brought her peace” by reminding her that “in the end, nothing is certain, so you have to embrace it.”

Trey Pidation, a presidential scholar, reported feeling “nothing” after telling his scholarship donor at a recent luncheon that he would be moving back in with his parents after graduation “just to get my feet under me.”

“Sure, we went around the table and everyone else was heading to Portugal on a Fulbright or going to medical school or getting paid 6 figures at Conoco after graduation,” Pidation recalls, “But I’m sure my donor is as proud of my Film Studies degree as he is of everyone else’s achievements.

You can’t really put a price tag on education. Being asked constantly what my plans are really helps me remember that.”

Self-Aware Haiku No. 4 Jessie Keipp & Patrick Creedon

Serious newspaper prints story in webdings

Anna Bennett Lord of the Bullshit We blame Morgan Kreuger and J.Christopher Proctor.

They thought it would be cute to put the interview with Stead in Webdings just to freak out Conor Fellin.

Patrick Creedon actually thought there was something wrong with the computer, because he wasn’t paying much attention.

An intense discussion about the difference between Webdings and Wingdings ensued.

J.Christopher, illustrious editor-in-chief, then decreed that a State-Run article must be written and translated into Webdings,

What puts you in the mood?

A. Dirty talk B. Having some free time C. Romantic gestures D. Sexy dancing E. Realizing you haven’t had sex in a while How do you feel after a marathon sex session?

A. Too hot to handle!

B. Sticky…

C. Warm and fuzzy D. Absolutely exhausted E. Ready to get on with your day What do you look for in a sexual partner?

A. Trustworthiness B. A sense of “adventure”

C. Commitment D. Rock hard abs E. A similar schedule or lifestyle How much time do you like to spend boning (or scissoring, or whatever)?

A. 20 to 30 minutes B. Depends on the mood.

C. All night D. 60 to 90 minutes E. 5 to 10 minutes You go slip into something more comfortable… what is it?

A. Birthday suit!

B. A kinky costume C. Pajama pants D. Revealing lingerie E. Basic underwear At the end of the day, why do you get down and dirty?

A. The Big O, of course B. It’s the most fun you can have, with or without your clothes on C. To feel closer to your partner D. It burns calories and makes you feel accomplished E. To get rid of tension and keep the relationship healthy

Mostly A’s: Toaster. Things get hot, hot, hot in the sack when you’re involved.

You’re still trying to work out the timing; things can go from delightful to disastrous within moments. You’ve only mastered a few tricks, but you’ve got those down flawlessly, and aren’t afraid to add some cream cheese and jelly, if you know what I mean. Signature move: Face-to-Face.

Mostly B’s: Immersion Blender. When it comes to sex, anything goes. Anywhere, anytime, any style. You love to mix things up. You may be a little much for some people to handle, but with the right partner, anything is possible. Above all, you think sex should always be fun, although sometimes things can get a little messy! Signature Move: Anything involving new toys.

Mostly C’s: Crockpot. You’re a slow-cooker in bed. You’re adamantly against quickies, and don’t mind if an encounter takes up your whole afternoon. You’re slow to warm up to new partners, too, but it’s worth it. Signature Move: Missionary followed by spooning.

Mostly D’s: Juicer. You’re a high-energy health nut, and demand nothing but incredible endurance and admirable upper body strength from your sexual partners.

You’re proud of your body, and very confident. Sex is just the ultimate workout for you, and it’s always full steam ahead. Signature Move: Anything that doesn’t involve sitting or lying down.

I am a haiku In the State Run Media Have a good summer

On Sunday, April 20th, 2014, the staff of the University of Tulsa Collegian decided to do something really, really stupid in the last State-Run Media of the year.

What’s your soundtrack while doing the nasty?

A. The hottest songs off the Top 40 B. Something weird and obscure, like shoegaze or trip-hop C. R&B slow-jams D. High-energy rock or bass-pounding electronica E. Acoustic singer/songwriter

just for shits and giggles. And Anna Bennett agreed to it, because she is a journalistic slut who will print anything just to be sensational.

And since you’ve been so dedicated to reading this article, we’ll let you in on a secret.

This is more than shits and gigs; there are prizes on the line. I mean, come on, either you went to the trouble to navigate our website and copy-paste this into Word or whatever, or you found this font and decoded it by hand, or you devised some sort of elaborate codecracking key which you figured out by counting letter frequency. I mean, regardless, you probably have no life.

So, today is your lucky day. Now that you have decoded the article, you must contact one of the editors mentioned before they die to claim your prize. What is this prize exactly? Ha, as if we’d tell you that.

Mostly E’s: Keurig Coffee Maker. When it comes to your sex life, things stay tidy and single-serve. You’re good at taking care of your own needs, first and foremost. Having someone else there is just a bonus (if a little extra work). Things get hot, but are consistent and predictable. And clean up is always a breeze! Signature Move: Watching each other masturbate.

State-Run Barricade of the Week: Brown Village

Anna Bennett / Collegian

Violent protests were sparked over a “land-hungry” roommate earlier this week. A TU student in Brown Village reportedly began constructing a barricade in an attempt to combat what he perceived as his roommate “encroaching” on disputed territory.

At press time, the roommate in question denied taking offensive action in the region, though he threatened to do so if the protesting student “kept bitching about it.”

“He’s already annexed the kitchen! I have to keep his greedy room-grabbing in check!” exclaimed the student from behind his home-made barricade, which he constructed out of board games, a boyfriend pillow, a detached door, some dirty laundry, several plants from the tri-beta sale, all the free TU shirts he’s ever received and Mr. Blankie, his childhood blanket.

“I’m prepared to fight to the death for my political and geographical sovereignty!” the student shouted, chucking a pencil cactus towards his roommate’s stronghold. The roommate dodged out of the way and rolled his eyes, muttering under his breath, “Not again.”

neWS

21 april 2014

the Collegian : 14

Year’s end brings exciting opportunities for TU students TU students represented their university well with a wide variety of awards, including multiple postgraduate fellowships.

SaRa douglaS Staff Writer

The University of Tulsa is chockfull of winners, both of awards and life—that means you, awesome person! Our student body accomplishes a lot academically, athletically, artistically, and otherwise, especially for being a small school.

Recently, achievements have been highlighted by the 17th Annual Research Colloquium, awarding

of nationally competitive scholarships, and conferences to which student organizations have been invited.

The Research Colloquium was a weeklong event during which 205 TU students gave 20-minute oral presentations over their research projects, or created a poster for their work to be displayed in a poster session.

A total of 24 special topic sessions, plus one for community service, were each comprised of typically six presentations and had three to four judges present to determine the best presenter in each session, along with the overall 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place winners of the Colloquium.

First place at the Colloquium

Left Photo Courtesy Caitlin Pegg, Right Photo Courtesy James Johnston

Left: Caitlin Pegg was an NSF winner. Right: James Johnston won a Fulbright Grant.

was won by Samuel Marzouk, who presented his research, “Correlates of Drug Use Among Women During Treatment: A Prospective Study”, in the Psychology session.

Second place was taken by Joanne Ishak, a Mechanical Engineering student whose research was entitled “Fatigue Life Improvement via Autofrettage: Overview and Numerical Simulation”.

Third place was a four-way tie between Sara Douglas, Melissa Miller, Yalin Yang, and Alec Wright, who presented in Computer Science and Electrical Engineering, Anthropology, Contemporary Issues in Education Policy and Practice, and Rainforest Ecology, respectively.

Other students who were honored at the Research Colloquium’s Award Banquet included all of the Best in Session winners, those who scored highest in their particular session.

The following students were given this award: Kalli Hannam, Sarah Pook, Justin Rankin, Kaylen Wood, Mitchell Trafford, Kelly Lacey, McKenna Leclear, Kenan Tawaklna, Connor McGariety, Abdulah Mahayni, J. Christopher Proctor, Christopher Burnworth, Laura Bryant, Matthew Whittaker, Scott Gove, Babak Akbari, Maria

Puhl, and Jill Sandberg. Also, the Community Service Symposium’s best presentation, M.A.D.E. at TU, was by Katy Riojas and Megan

of scholarships won this year is impressive considering the size of our student body.

We have two Barry M.

Left Photo Courtesy Amy Jo Bunselmeyer, Right Photo Courtesy Michael Nguyen

Left: Weston Kightlinger, NSF and Tau Beta Pi scholarship winner, holds a shark he found on the TU Treks spring break trek to Texas last year.

Shewey, while Thomas Gaus and Maria Castaneda were awarded Best Presentation and Honorable Mention, respectively, in the Poster Session.

We’ve also had more than a few students here at TU win highly competitive scholarships and grants recently; the amount

Right: Goldwater winner and biology and chemical engineering major Devin Stranford (right) sits alongside fellow chemical engineering major Alex Chong.

Goldwater Scholarship winners on campus, both juniors, out of 283 science, math, and engineering Goldwater Scholars in the nation: Devin Stranford, a Chemical Engineering and Biology major, and Mitchell Trafford, a Mathematics and Chemical Engineering student.

See Awards page 15

Collegian Seniors graduate, bid their farewells J.Christopher Proctor There are no rules that cannot be broken. I’ve learned a lot of things from my three years at the Collegian, but no lesson has been as impactful, or as persistent, as the idea that the rules we thought were so critical, so basic to what we do each week, could be easily shattered.

In the spring of 2012 we at the Collegian had a groundbreaking realization that covers of the Collegian did not all have to look the same. The hard and fast rules we had held ourselves to—no photos over three columns long, at least three articles and two photos on the cover, the list goes on and on—were swept away, and the result was an exciting semester and a much more interesting paper.

The paper had transformed.

But we soon settled on a new set of rules, although this time much more implicit. “We can’t do that because <insert rule>” turned into “we can’t do that, can we?”

Once again, we challenged the rules. We tried new things we never would have imagined doing just months before. We disregarded the boundaries we thought were limiting us, constraining us to “do what a college newspaper should do”.

And sometimes we made mistakes. And sometimes we went too far.

But overall the paper got better.

And almost as importantly it was more fun to make. The monotony of producing the same paper every week turned to excitement to see what we would come up with next.

I’ve learned a lot about journalism in the last three years.

I now know more about em dashes and Oxford commas than I ever wished to know. I also learned about the difficulties of running an organization, particularly one staffed with many of your closest friends.

But the lesson I will take away most from my time at the Collegian—and the advice I would like to offer, if you will indulge— is to challenge the rules.

Do not always break them, but always question them.

Some rules are outdated. Some rules were never needed in the first place. Challenge them and change the world.

Kalen Petersen In four years, I’ve worked for the Collegian as a writer, Sports Editor, Opinion Editor, News Editor, Copy Editor, Distribution Manager and Editor-in-Chief, an average of 1.5 different jobs a year. I’ve experienced it all: from the stress of finishing an issue at 4 a.m. on Sunday to the triumph when we were named one of the top three college papers in the nation, in our size category, by the Society of

Professional Journalists.

Why have I stuck with this wonderful, weird, ragamuffin publication for so long? In short, because of the remarkable people I’ve had the privilege of laboring beside.

They deserve many accolades for transforming the Collegian into a radically different (and more interesting) beast. Kate Kramer knew how to handle calamity with sangfroid, taking even bankruptcy in stride. Catherine Roberts, my mentor and model in all things journalistic, dared to envision a different future for the paper.

Lucas Forsythe, a man of many talents, knew the value of proper white balance, and showed me how to hold a Canon. Meredith Nelson brought sass and wit and down-to-earth decency to her job.

Sarah Szabo, rara avis and loyal friend, proved that the phrase “most unique” is no malapropism.

Stephanie Hice, impeccable and individualistic, has been a delight to know. Let the record state that she is not a hipster. Conor Fellin, from day one, was obviously the man for the job, brilliant and unflappable, taking on the Powers That Be. Patrick Creedon exudes sincerity and dedication, bringing out the best in me and others. Will Bramlett expanded my knowledge of hockey and St. Louis by three orders of magnitude. Will Boogart and Amy Bunselmeyer brought fun to the newsroom while hunting down rogue Oxford commas.

Jill Graves, without whom the whole circus tent would have come apart at the seams, displayed both the patience of Job and the genius of Rembrandt. Morgan Kreuger left California for Oklahoma just to join our newspaper.

Kyle Walker, paragon of passion and piquancy, with a predilection for populism, pulled no punches in pursuit of political perfection.

Sarah Power stepped fearlessly into the madhouse that is our office and got right to (excellent) work. Anna Bennett brought flair and fire to the paper as State-Run propagandist.

Finally, I salute my partner in crime, Yin to my Yang, and dear friend J.Christopher Proctor. His unwavering drive to make the Collegian great has paid incredible dividends, and I could not have hoped for a worthier successor. J., thank you for the hard work and the fun.

One thing remains. Thank you to our readers (I’m assuming we have a few). This paper is for you, and to create it has been a high honor.

Stephanie hice First of all, please accept my sincere thanks for providing me with the wonderful opportunity of working at The Collegian during my time at the University of Tulsa. It is hard to believe that I have

worked on such a fabulous project for four years. Time has certainly flown by.

Through my work with The Collegian I have been a part of a team devoted to fostering change and instilling new, creative and intellectual ideas into the minds of our readers. From our in-depth investigations to our light-hearted reviews, our paper has come a long way, and has endured many changes during the past four years.

I have also had the wonderful opportunity to work with such a phenomenal staff. Through our work at The Collegian, we each have grown—matured—into the fine group of adults now ready to put our talents to use throughout the world.

It is difficult to believe that I will no longer be attending TU in the fall. The first shock came when I was not required to enroll for courses, the second, when I received an email highlighting the details of vacating my apartment and the third when I finished laying out the final Variety section of my career.

I will certainly miss TU. I will miss the amazing faculty, my friends and the city itself. In the fall I will be attending graduate school at Iowa State University.

Although it will be difficult to uproot once again, I will enter my graduate studies more confident— more empowered—and I owe it all to my time here at TU; each new experience will simply add another notch in my belt, feather in my cap.

With these words, I must bid farewell to The Collegian and my beloved Variety section. The Variety section underwent many changes while I was its editor, and I know that it will continue to grow and develop year after year.

In the words of Max Fischer: “Sic Transit Gloria—glory fades”—although the dedication and brilliance of future Collegian staff will never falter, and never diminish. Thank you.

Anna Bennett Friends, followers, minions, I can’t believe this day has come.

I told myself I wouldn’t cry. And because I’m still in denial, I probably won’t. But still.

Let’s be honest; I can’t wait to be done with this stressful college nonsense. It’s been great, but goddammit, I am so tired, you guys.

I’m ready to let go of a lot of things, even if they’ve been really good. The Collegian, however, is not one of those things.

In the coming months, someone will probably discover me sleeping in the office, pretending to be the paper’s live-in “advisor.”

I’ve done a lot of things at TU that I’m very proud of (and a few things I’m not, but we won’t get into that) but nothing makes me

prouder than looking back on everything we’ve done with this paper over the past few years. I mean, not to brag or anything, but have you seen this damn thing?

I’ve loved being a part of the Collegian’s transformation. It’s been a real honor working alongside these crazy kids. I can’t believe all the stuff J.Chris has let me get away with as State-Run editor this year.

Perhaps the thing I’ve been most thankful for is the diversity of my experience at the paper. I started out writing reviews my sophomore year, then suddenly, I got drafted to be the Photo/Graphics editor.

That exposed me to the addictive rush of putting together something out of nothing, and then poof, the next day it’s on newsstands across campus. It’s incredibly rewarding.

I took a semester as a foreign correspondent, then came back as a staff writer. That was a very challenging semester for me; I always considered myself a creative writer, not a journalist. But hey, if these awards are an indication, I learned a few things along the way.

Ever since the infamous 2012 April Fool’s Day issue, the Collegian has been my own personal photoshop training ground. And the success of a humourous issue sowed the seeds of the State-Run Media.

But my time as State-Run editor has truly been my Magnum Opus as a newspaper man, a humorist and a senior. I will be forever grateful for this opportunity to be as ridiculous as possible, to photoshop nipples onto the Golden Driller and to write a recipe including the phrase “stupid whore feet.”

I am also really honored that even after all that, my fellow editors still take me seriously.

I’ve reveled in being Lord of the Bullshit, but the fact that I can still have input on content, propose ideas and generate graphics has really made my experience here meaningful.

It’ll be my time here, the skills I’ve learned at this paper, that I put on my resume and try to use to be taken seriously as an adult. I’ll be moving to Chicago as soon as I can afford it, and while I’ll still pursue my dream of being an actor and comedienne, I’m going to need a day job. I sure as hell hope I can find a newspaper staff as fabulous as these guys.

Patrick Creedon Just minutes ago, I finished laying out my last Commentary Section ever, just one of 47 issues that have been my direct vision for what a section dedicated to student thought should look like. I had no idea that I would be here two years ago. I asked for the Opinion Editor job in September 2012 because I

knew there was a vacancy, and I was tired of walking the two miles to Cherry Street for my restaurant job. I knew nothing of the process that goes into creating a newspaper every week or of soliciting ideas that people would find interesting.

Only time will determine whether or not my contributions to this paper were of any worth.

Despite tenuous contributions, I now know way more of what goes into producing a coherent argument than I did during the first half of my career at TU. I learned that sometimes form should take precedent over function, especially when that function is loud, incoherent and slightly racist.

Being balanced in focus is only useful to a community when both sides are articulate. Additionally, if you’re adamant enough, people will totally latch onto silly ideas.

Visit the Room of Truth in our office for an example. I was also fortunate enough to learn just how important Sundays were to my productivity and gracious enough to mourn their loss.

Basically, this job was probably the best I ever could have asked for at the University of Tulsa. I got to produce something that became physical every week with people I respected immensely, people who became good friends and colleagues. This work has led to a satisfaction with both my life and with TU that I had not experienced before my time with the paper. To Kalen Petersen and J.Christopher Proctor, I must say thank you for letting me play journalist with you.

To the Collegian’s readers, I thank you for reading the content that I thought was interesting enough to print. As I move to Columbus this fall to pursue a PhD in psychology, I cannot wait to see what comes from this section next year.

Amy Jo Bunselmeyer When I was a freshman at the activities fair I signed up to be on the Collegian’s email list because I liked to write and I was looking for ways to get involved on campus. I quickly became involved in lots of things, and unfortunately the Collegian wasn’t one of them.

It wasn’t until this semester – my final one here at TU – that I actually became a part of this paper.

I wish I had followed through freshman year, because then I could have worked along side all these wonderful people for even longer. I was welcomed as a copy editor and ended up writing some as well, and in the process I have built friendships that I know are going to last even when I move to New York in the fall.

I have loved writing and editing for the Collegian and I am truly going to miss it and all the Collegian staff next year. Thank you for a wonderful semester!

the Collegian : 15

NEWS

21 April 2014

Blood moon dazzles observers

TU arts&humanitiesfestival Sara Douglas / Collegian

OKLAHOMA CENTER FOR THE HUMANITIES AT THE UNIVERSITY OF TULSA

In the early morning hours of April 15, expert stargazers and curious novices alike looked to the sky to witness a “blood moon,” the first of four due to appear in the next two years. The moon takes on the reddish hue because of a total lunar eclipse, which happens when the Earth completely blocks the sun’s light from hitting the moon. The moon subsequently takes on the red color because the Earth’s atmosphere scatters shorter wavelengths of light from the sun, meaning that we perceive what actually hits the moon as red.

From Awards, page 14

Another scholarship for the sciences comes from the National Science Foundation, and four students earned these generous $140,000 grants this year: Caitlin Pegg and Weston Kightlinger are graduating seniors, and Cody Martin and Stephen Macke are recent TU graduates who are now studying at Rice and Stanford, respectively.

Kightlinger was also a recipient of a Fellowship from Tau Beta Pi, the engineering honor society and the second-oldest honor society in the nation. A recent graduate, Will LePage, was awarded a Fellowship from the Department of Defense of a similar amount to the NSF grant; while at Tulsa, Lepage won the Goldwater and Udall Scholarships and was a Rhodes Scholarship finalist.

A new award to grace our university is the Erasmus Mundus Scholarship, earned by J.Christopher Proctor, a senior who will use the scholarship’s funds, provided through the European Union Commission, to pursue a master’s program in global economics.

One of only eight students internationally to receive this honor, Proctor will spend the next year studying in London and the following semester in Paris (ooh la la!). Another of TU’s competitive scholarship winners will be funded internationally: James Johnston was awarded the Fulbright Grant to teach English in Portugal, joining the ranks of past Fulbright Scholars from Tulsa who have studied and taught in the United Kingdom, Germany, Hong Kong,and Bulgaria.

Our biological honor society, the Pi Al-

pha Chapter of Beta Beta Beta, recently had student and faculty members invited to attend and present their research at the Southcentral Regional Convention hosted by the University of Oklahoma at their Field Biology Station. Jordan Hendrickson presented “Sodium Preferences in Tropical Ants”; Stephanie Hice presented “Characterization of Switchgrass Degrading Thermophilic Actinomycetes for Biofuel Production”; Nathan Miller presented “Heliconia latispatha Phytotelmata as Models for Succession”; and Caitlin Pegg presented “The Protective Effect of Fake-Eyespots in Lepidopteran Caterpillar Models”.

Sharing this research resulted in two of our students receiving awards for their work. Hice won First Place, comprised of the Frank G. Brooks Award and a $750 travel grant to present her research at the National Convention in Pennsylvania this June. Pegg placed second in the session in which she presented. The Convention was a success for BBB, its student members, and for the students’ research advisors, Drs. Glen Collier and Mohamed Fakhr.

We all know that the University of Tulsa fosters a high-achieving mindset and that the students here strive to succeed, but it is when we recognize awardees among our peers that we truly realize how successful our community is. Congratulate your peers and yourself on this year’s hard-won accomplishments before heading your separate ways for the summer (or longer, for those graduating); they deserve praise, and so do you.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014 1:00 – 5:00 p.m.

Lorton Performance Center Continuous exhibitions and performances will feature art, fiction, dance, film, music, poetry, screenwriting, theatre, and much more.

A complimentary buffet will be served.

Find a complete events schedule at utulsa.edu/humanities/festival Free and open to the public.

a celebration of student works in the humanities the university of

Oklahoma Center for the Humanities TU is an EEO/AA institution.

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THE UNIVERSITY OF