7 September 2015

a student newspaper of the university of tulsa

september 8, 2015 issue 1 ~ volume 101

Female inmates empowered by poetry.

Women prisoners in America.

Women prisoners in Oklahoma.

The most incarcerated women of any country in the world

The most incarcerated women of any state in the union.

Ellen Stackable is a local teacher at the Tulsa School of Arts and Sciences (TSAS), a charter high school focusing on a liberal arts education. Stackable has taught at TSAS for fourteen years. Maggie Lane is a junior at TU studying English and education.

Both Lane and Stackable teach poetry to women at the David L. Moss Criminal Justice Center every Wednesday night. They have both conducted individual research on the status of incarceration of women in Oklahoma and were interested in expanding their knowledge of the prison system. Stackable co-created a program to teach poetry to women in jail with Claire Collins, a local writer, in order to provide the women with a creative outlet.

Natalie Wood Student Writer Natalie Wood: Ellen, how was the program started and what was your initial motivation for joining it?

Ellen Stackable: Dan Hahn (a fellow teacher at TSAS) came to school one day and told me about this poetry program at the jail. I thought “What! I’ve been trying to do something at the jail for several years!” I don’t know what motivated me exactly. I think when I

New era: University of Tulsa’s new football coach records first win, p. 3

was working on my Master’s and looking for a topic, I just went down a rabbit trail one day and began looking at the state of incarcerated women in Oklahoma.

The more I found out the more upset I got. I had no idea of the medieval nature of some of the practices here, and that Oklahoma incarcerates more women than anyone in the world. So, I started looking for a place where I could teach writing. I tried several different places, and prisons are kind of a labyrinth of a system to figure out. I ended up teaching one summer at a privately run Christian place that allowed women

to go there instead of prison, but it was just a really weird place, so I quit doing it.

So when Dan told me about his program, I went to visit with the class that had both men and women teaching it. I asked him if there was anything just for the women and he told me no. That’s when I met Claire Collins and she and I just decided to start it. We had a contact through another woman that allowed us to go to the prison, and it wasn’t long after that that I met Maggie.

Hurricane Katrina’s ten year anniversary, recovery still not complete, p. 13

Wanted: Writers, graphic designers and photographers, p. 7

See Poetry, page 6

Sports

The Collegian: 2

8 September 2015

TU flyin’ high

Greg Diskin / Collegian

Junior wide receiver Keevan Lucas makes an acrobatic catch during the second quarter of Tulsa’s 47–44 victory over Florida Atlantic University on Saturday. Lucas had a game-high 10 receptions for 193 yards and 2 touchdowns in the victory.

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University of Tulsa graduates receive an automatic and renewable $18,000 scholarship to TU Law .

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Learn more about the Access to Legal Education Scholarship law.utulsa.edu/ALES

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Sports

8 September 2015

Football opens with OT thriller

This Saturday, the Philip Montgomery era officially began as the Golden Hurricane squared off against the Florida Atlantic Owls.

In a back-and-forth contest, the Hurricane came out victorious, 47–44.

Wade Crawford Sports Writer

The game started out slowly, with the first four drives ending in punts. After a Dane Evans interception, the Owls scored first, with an 11-yard rush by Greg “Buddy” Howell at 4:35 of the first quarter.

However, the next three scores belonged to the Hurricane, as they scored 21 unanswered points to take a 21–7 lead. Dane Evans and Keevan Lucas were the stars of this part of the game, as Keevan caught two touchdown passes of 43 and 39 yards, while Evans showed his running ability on a 9-yard touchdown run.

Momentum soon shifted to the Owls, as they held a strong end to the first half as well as a strong start to the second. FAU scored 24 unanswered points of their own, on a 17-yard Jacquez Johnson pass to Jenson Stoshak, a 45-yard field goal from Greg Joseph, and Jay Warren and Howell rushes for 38 and 5 yards, respectively.

With 8:27 left in the third quarter, it was 31–21 Owls.

Tulsa was carried by Zack Langer and Redford Jones down the stretch, as the duo

scored all of the Hurricane’s remaining 20 points in regulation.

In the second half, Langer rushed for 56 yards and two touchdowns, while Jones made up for an early 26-yard miss by hitting field goals of 32 and 39 yards. With the 39yard field goal, regulation time ended at a tie of 41 a-piece.

After Tulsa held FAU to just a field goal in the first overtime possession, the Hurricane proceeded to march down the field, capping off the winning drive with a 3-yard touchdown by Langer, his third of the game.

With a final score of 47–44, the Montgomery era began with a hard-fought victory.

But don’t book your flight to Glendale just yet. Even though Tulsa came out on top, there were still some holes in their game.

The defense missed multiple tackles on both the running back Howell and the quarterback, Jacquez Johnson.

The pair combined for 220 rushing yards, and 2 touchdowns. Additionally, the team seemed to struggle with some clock management issues, with hiccups potentially costing the team a chance at a big play to end either half.

But those are some usual first-game mistakes. The mistakes weren’t lost on the officiating crew, either.

A single penalty was misattributed to Tulsa twice, before the referee finally corrected himself. Additionally, the referee misread the overtime coin toss, nearly giving FAU choice of possession before a TU player corrected the call.

There’s a lot of positives for this team as

well. As the game wore on, both the offensive and defensive lines took control of the game.

Once they escaped their own 20 yard line, the offense ran a smooth, no-huddle system, eventually running 86 total offensive plays.

Finally, both Keevan Lucas and Keyarris Garrett found themselves open for a good portion of the game, combining for 356 yards and two touchdowns of their own.

“I’m very proud of this football team, and the way they continued to fight all the way through,” Coach Montgomery had to say after the game.

“I thought our guys did a good job of staying focused, and staying in the moment.”

“We just had to keep our composure on the sideline,” defensive end Derrick Alexander said of the Owls’ 24-point stretch in the middle of the game.

“We knew we had to get the ball in our offense’s hands, so they can make something happen.”

This is Coach Montgomery’s first season with the team, after Bill Blankenship was fired after going 5–19 in the past two seasons. The win was the first of Montgomery’s head coaching career.

The Hurricane continue their season by traveling to Albuquerque to play the University of New Mexico Lobos.

This game is followed by a trip closer to home, a showdown in Norman against the Oklahoma Sooners. After a bye week, Tulsa finally returns home on Oct. 3 to play the Houston Cougars.

Virginia on the scoreboard.

Twenty minutes later, the Golden Hurricane responded, with Kay Duit scoring off of a cross from Miguel Velasquez. Velasquez found some space at the left corner of the box, and lifted the ball into the center.

Duit reached it with his head, and bounced it past Cavalier goalkeeper Jeff Caldwell.

From there, each team created a few more opportunities, but neither could beat the opposing keeper to pull ahead, and the game went into overtime.

The game continued with the same style in overtime as it had during the rest of the game- tightly contested, with neither side able to put the ball in the back of the net.

The Golden Hurricane had two shots hit off the crossbar in overtime, but just couldn’t get a goal, and the game ended as a 1–1 draw.

The game’s statistics portray how close the game was. Each team had 18 shots, while Virginia had the advantage in shots on target at 8–6. Both goalkeepers had strong performances, with McGuire notching 7 saves for the Golden Hurricane and Caldwell recording 5 for the Cavaliers.

After the game, Tulsa coach Tom McIntosh said, “Obviously they are a very good team and I am pleased with our overall performance, but I am disappointed with the result. We hit the cross bar three times tonight and were just a little unfortunate to not get another goal.”

On Sunday night Tulsa played North Carolina at a rainy Chapel Hill and lost 2–1 in a close match.

Tulsa now sits at 1–2–1 on the season.

And will look to get back on track on Thursday vs. ORU at home.

In other soccer news this week, Tulsa defensemen Bradley Bourgeois was named one of thirty candidates for the 2015 Senior CLASS (Celebrating Loyalty and Achievement for Staying in School) Award. The honor recognizes student-athletes for their distinction in four categories: community, classroom, character and competition.

Bourgeois has started in every game of his career at TU, and was named preseason American Athletic Conference Defender of the Year. He has maintained a 3.08 GPA, and volunteers often at local food drives.

Men tie No. 2 Cavaliers, fall to Tar Heels

The men’s soccer team traveled to the East Coast for a grueling two game roadtrip against Virginia and North Carolina, finishing 0-1-1.

Joseph Edmunds Sports Writer For their third game of the season, the Golden Hurricane men’s soccer team traveled Virginia to face the second ranked Cavaliers and came away with a 1–1 doubleovertime tie.

The matchup, a rematch of the game in Tulsa last season in which the Golden Hurricane scored in sudden death overtime to win 1–0, was closely contested. Throughout the first half, each team had a few chances, but were unable to capitalize.

The first half ended scoreless, but the Cavaliers quickly got on the board with a goal just three minutes into the second half.

Tulsa gave up a free kick a few yards from the top of the goal box, and Riggs Lennon bent a shot over the wall of defenders and off of goalie Jake McGuire’s hand to put

Two more wins give TU best start in history

With two shutout victories this week against Missouri State and Central Arkansas, the Golden Hurricane women’s soccer team is off to the best start in school history at 6–0.

Joseph Edmunds Sports Writer

Tulsa wasted no time in getting on the scoreboard against Missouri State. Three minutes into the game, Rachel Thun fed the ball into the box, and Christina Holmes beat the Bears goalkeeper to the ball to open the scoring. For the remainder of the first half, neither team could capitalize on any chances, and halftime came with the score still 1–0.

In the second half, the Golden Hurricane pushed farther ahead with a goal in the 62nd minute. Tulsa earned a corner, and Darienne Chapman headed in the cross from Lana Bermel to give Tulsa a 2–0 advantage.

As the game was nearing it’s end, Tulsa

Monday

No Events

netted a final goal to secure the win. With five minutes remaining, Elisa Impagliazzo set up Thun for the third goal of the game.

The game ended with the score 3–0 in favor of Tulsa.

On Sunday, Tulsa played Central Arkansas at home. In the early-going, the game went back and forth between both sides of the field. Tulsa mustered a few shots, but the Central Arkansas goalkeeper was able to make straightforward saves.

The Golden Hurricane were able to get on the scoreboard a short while later, though.

Tana Dake received a pass from Alexa Sidorakis in the middle of the box, and had the space to get a shot off around the goalkeeper to give Tulsa the 1–0 lead.

As the half started to come to a close, the teams started to slow, as a result of the afternoon heat. The score going into halftime remained 1–0.

When the second half started, the teams came out with renewed energy. Tulsa pushed forward to try and solidify their lead, and it almost led to a goal conceded on a Central

Tuesday

No Events

Wednesday

No Events

The Collegian: 3

From Golden Hurricane to the NFL

The University of Tulsa is one of the smallest schools in the FBS, but it has sent its share of players to the National Football League.

Mason Morgan Sports Writer

Unless you’re a diehard football fan, the NFL Preseason isn’t a big thing to get excited about. Most of the star players only play for a few minutes and the outcomes of the games don’t matter at all.

But if you follow individual players and the hard work they put in to keep their jobs as professional football players, there is definitely more intrigue involved.

These aren’t the elite players that have long-term contracts that I’m talking about.

No, these are the “fringe” guys who are fighting for a roster spot.

Some of these guys used to play at H.A. Chapman stadium on Saturdays, and are proving that they belong in the NFL. Defensive Tackle Tyrunn Walker, now playing for the Detroit Lions, is making his presence known in his first year with the team. As a reserve lineman for the New Orleans Saints, Walker only made one start in three seasons. Already with the Lions, he is believed to be a key part of the D-Line corps, which has been highlighted by a strip sack of Robert Griffin III. In St. Louis, former star running back Trey Watts is having a little bit tougher time with the Rams. He is competing with fourth year running back, Isaiah Pead from University of Cincinnati, for running back depth. The two split carries and playing time during the preseason with Watts leading all Rams running backs with 24 carries and 98 yards.

While he made the team, Watts still faces an uphill battle because he is suspended for the first four games of the regular season due to violating the NFL’s Policy and Program of Substance of Abuse. After his suspension ends, he will be reevaluated by the Rams who will have to decide to keep or drop him.

Meanwhile, two former Golden Hurricane players, Damaris Johnson and Charles Clay, have solidified their roster spots on new teams with their impressive play. Tight End Clay has moved to Buffalo and impressed with a long touchdown in preseason play. Return specialist and wide receiver Johnson has found a new spot with the Houston Texans and has earned praise from the head coach.

Just because these players played at a small school like Tulsa, didn’t stop them from being able to introduce themselves as some of the top athletes in the game on the world’s biggest stage.

Hurricane Highlight

Arkansas’ counter-attack a few minutes into the half.

After that counter-attack, however, the Golden Hurricane took control of the majority of the remainder of the game. A few Tulsa shots just missed the target, sailing slightly over the crossbar.

Halfway through the second half, Tulsa pushed their lead out to 2–0. Central Arkansas’s goalkeeper was able to make a save on a long shot, but the ball fell right in front of the goal, which led to an easy tap-in goal for Impagliazzo. The rest of the game proceeded without much incident, and Tulsa recorded the 2–0 win.

Talking about the team’s great start, head coach Kyle Cussen said, “Setting the school record is definitely special, but it is a long season and you don’t make a run at the conference tournament or the NCAA Tournament in the first six games.”

The Golden Hurricane will look to continue their strong play in their next game on Friday night against Indiana State at Hurricane Stadium.

Volleyball Goes 2–1 at Bama Bash

Volleyball traveled to Tuscaloosa, Alabama for the University of Alabama’s Bama Bash tournament this past weekend. Their first opponent was the College of Charleston, who the Hurricane beat 3–2 in a five-set affair. They followed their second win of the season with another five-set battle, this time against host Alabama, a game in which three different Tulsa players recorded double-digit kills. Juniors Rebecca Reeves and Erica Bohannon had 16 and 13 respectively, while senior Ashley Hooper had 14. In their Bama Bash finale, the Golden Hurricane played undefeated Southern Miss, falling 1–3. Their second straight game with three players recording double-digit kills was unfortunately not enough for the Hurricane, as it fell to 3–3 on the season.

Hooper and Reeves were named to the All-Tournament team for their play. Next Tulsa will host the Hurricane Classic, with their first game on Friday.

: Sept. 7–13

Thursday

Friday

Men’s Tennis @ Napa Invitational

Men’s Tennis @ Napa Invitational

Men’s Soccer vs. ORU 7:00 p.m.

Volleyball vs.

Stephen F. Austin 10:00 a.m.

Volleyball vs.

Arkansas State 7:00 p.m.

Women’s Soccer vs. Indiana State 7:30 p.m.

Saturday

Men’s Tennis @ Napa Invitational Men’s Golf @ Duke Golf Club Football @ New Mexico 7:00 p.m.

Volleyball vs. S. Illinois 1:00 p.m.

Women’s Soccer vs.

IncarnateWord 7:30 p.m.

Sunday

Men’s Tennis @ Napa Invitational Men’s Golf @ Duke Golf Club Men’s Soccer vs. Portland 7:00 p.m.

News

The Collegian: 4

8 September 2015

In memoriam: Dr. Joseph Kestner Sara Douglas Student Writer

Although the booming voice that belonged to the beloved Dr. Joseph A. Kestner can no longer be heard reverberating through Chapman Hall, it will surely echo in the memories of all who knew him. Kestner, a New York-area native, passed away at his home in Tulsa on the night of Sunday, August 23, at the age of 71.

The McFarlin Professor of English and founder of the Department of Film Studies was a key fixture at TU for 37 years. Kestner’s enthusiastic engagement with students, colleagues and members of the broader Tulsa community secured him immense popularity and myriad awards over the years. His lecture halls were unfailingly full, whether for classes or film screenings, seminars or talks.

Kestner was an integral component in the establishment and sustained flourishing of the Film Studies major in 1999, followed by the founding of the Department of Film Studies in 2005. Numerous students have cited his faith in film, wit and passion both in and out of the classroom as being instrumental in inspiring their pursuit of film. Many students have been highly successful due to the dedication, talent and knowledge Kestner poured into the program.

His renown was not limited to the university. As an internationally recognized scholar admired for ex-

ploring the ties between literature, film, painting and opera, Kestner lectured extensively both domestically and abroad. His presentations and publications were both diverse and prolific, and he was honored in life with invitations to lecture at multiple prestigious institutions.

While not energetically expounding on Sherlock Holmes, “Male Gaze” theory, or the Horror film genre, Kestner was seemingly in constant preparations for one adventure or another. He planned to undertake a new project on filmmaker Ingmar Bergman in Sweden this fall; subsequently, he was to speak at an international Sherlock Holmes society meeting in New York.

A memorial service for Dr. Kestner held on campus last Tuesday was well-attended, and he will be dearly missed by many who knew him through any of the multitude of organizations of which he was a part.

Anna Norberg, his wife and a longtime TU School of Music faculty member, survives him. Donations may be made in Kestner’s honor to support scholarships for future deserving TU Film Studies students; gifts may be mailed to the university with “Professor Kestner” in the check’s subject line.

Photo courtesy The University of Tulsa

Construction planned for downtown Tulsa Local businesspeople are looking to diversify and rejuvenate Tulsa’s downtown area.

Kayleigh Thesenvitz Variety Editor Many new construction projects are taking place in downtown Tulsa over the next few years. Several are renovations of historic buildings, and a few are brand-new hotels and apartment buildings, but all are part of the effort to improve our city.

Sante Fe Square is an ambitious two block project taking up the space from 1st and Elgin to 2nd and Greenwood. The space is currently occupied by a large parking lot and the Santa Fe Depot, which will live on as the namesake for the square.

The project will provide retail and office space, as well as room for 291 apartments and a 105-room hotel. On the ground level a brick-paved pedestrian plaza will run the length of the square and be filled with stores for visitors and residents to shop in.

Elliot Nelson, one of the primary developers of the Santa Fe Square project, in a recent interview with the Tulsa World said, “We’ve got a good intensity of bars and restaurants in the neighborhood already, so we’re looking to diversify.”

Meanwhile the Palace Building is a renovation project of a historic Tulsan site. The twelve million dollar renovation is being funded by The Tulsa World and BH Media Group. In the process of restoring the building, there is also an effort to repurpose it.

For most of the building’s past it has been used as an office space. However, the goal of renovation is to provide both retail space and housing for the area with the Tulsa World Studio housed on the ground floor.

The Boxyard stands out as possibly the most interesting project taking place downtown, because it will be constructed primarily from gigantic used metal shipping containers. The space will house plenty of stores to make shopping an even more enjoyable experience.

Hogan Assessments is a Tulsa company currently working on constructing its new headquarters in the heart of downtown Tulsa.

In addition to these large projects, “We have seen a huge increase in the number of proposed hotels lately, “ said Jim Coles from the Mayor’s Office for Economic Development. He attributed this growth to the recent completions of OneOK field and the BOK Center.

A few hotels are moving into downtown Tulsa, including The Universal Ford and Fox Hotel buildings, Hilton Garden Inn, Residence Inn by Marriott, Best Western Plus / Route 66 Hotel and Hampton Inn & Suites.

Davenport Urban Lofts, The View, The Edge, YMCA Apartments, Coliseum Apartments and First Street Lofts are some of the significant housing developments also coming downtown.

“Almost all of the new housing of the city has some type of assistance from the city.

Either from the tax abatement or the Downtown Redevelopment Fund,” said Coles.

Kurt Craft, the city’s Manager of Traffic Operations and Traffic Engineering, assured citizens that although there will be some lane closures during construction, they will do their best to keep downtown traffic flowing smoothly.

After the construction of these buildings there will hopefully be much more traffic downtown, but Craft guaranteed the downtown streets have capacity for more traffic.

Lara Weber, the City’s Communication Officer, confirmed this by saying, “In years past downtown has had more traffic than it has now.”

There is also an effort to make city streets more efficient. One aspect of this actually involves taking away a lane of traffic in order to put in angled parking as opposed to the parallel parking we have now.

“We have such big capacities that we can afford to take a lane away. The real benefit of that is instead of having five parallel cars parked in a row we can have 17 angled cars parked,” said Coles.

The other attempt to streamline traffic is through traffic signal synchronization. “If you drive down Cincinnati going 22 miles an hour you will never stop at a light, you can cruise right through,” Coles added.

The city also has a long-range plan to convert some of the one way streets into twoway streets to make downtown less confusing for visitors.

“In general the city is supportive of anything that’s of quality. If you want to move your corporate headquarters downtown and build a beautiful building, we have room for it,” Coles said, with reference to Hogan Assessments.

Downtown zoning is the most flexible for developers who want to move into the area. CBD, Central Business District, zoning takes away many of the requirements for parking and allows developers to build retail and housing side-by-side.

The city does provide some assistance to developers who hope to move into Tulsa, which comes from the previously mentioned Tax Abatement and Downtown Development Fund. These essentially work as a loan from the city of Tulsa to get your construction started. Then, when a company begins to profit it pays the money back to the city, which the city then redistributes into new projects.

The large economic development packages that Tulsa recently started such as Vision 2025 and Improve Our Tulsa both feed into The Downtown Development Fund.

Another positive side effect of encouraging new business to come to Tulsa is that 54% of all property tax goes to Tulsa Public Schools.

The purpose of encouraging plenty of retail development is that roughly three cents of every nine cents that you pay goes to the city to pay for essential services like the Police Department and pothole repair.

The final aim of all this development, it would seem, isn’t just improving the economy of Tulsa, but improving the City of Tulsa for all of its residents.

Above: Dr. Kestner will be remembered for his passion for film and his dedication to his students.

Below: S.E. Hinton, Tulsa resident and author of The Outsiders, remembers her former teacher on Twitter.

Courtesy @se4realhinton

Turkey Mountain mall relocated Lauren Rogers Student Writer Tulsa has become a new destination for many developers looking to open their doors in the midst of a burgeoning population. However, there have been two proposed sites in recent months that have stirred controversy with local residents, Turkey Mountain Urban Wilderness Area, and Helmerich Park.

Turkey Mountain, located at 71st and Elwood, and Helmerich Park is beloved by many Tulsa residents as an escape from an urban setting with a close proximity to downtown. The area provides different trails for hiking, biking, and even horseback riding. However, the proposed shopping center would have interfered with a few of the trails.

Across the Arkansas River at 71st and Riverside, Helmerich Park has been home to some of Tulsa’s only public sand volleyball courts, along with a play area and water park for Tulsa families. Last month, developers purchased 12 acres of the park in a deal worth $14 million dollars.

See photo opposite

News

8 September 2015

Friday, September 11

Graphic by Sam Beckmann

Chas Addams Exhibit: Brown Bag Lunch Lecture at Zarrow Center of Art Education Lecture by Kevin Miserrochi, director of the Tee and Charles Addams Foundation, and Matt Moffett, director of Tulsa Girls Art School.

RSVP to cindy-williams@utulsa.edu or 918-631-4402. For more information, visit our website at utulsa.edu/zarrow About Charles Addams: Goulish, bizarre, enchanting, humorous, depraved, sweet all of these have described the work of Charles Addams (1912-1988). Widely known for his works that were the inspiration for The Addams Family, he was a prolific cartoonist known for his darkly humorous and macabre drawings. Featuring a selection of original works from 1940 to 1988, this exhibit explores the wonderfully quirky world of Chas Addams’ odd characters as they traverse everyday life.

Wednesday, September 16 Chemistry Café: Fracking and Disposal of Fracking Wastewater The event is a public forum discussing Fracking and the Disposal of Fracking Wastewater held in the Alcove in ACSU at 7 PM. A panel of experts will make short presentations on the pros and cons of this topic. Following the presentations, the floor will be open to the public for comments and a question and answer session lasting about one hour. The intent of this forum is to separate fact from fiction/rumor regarding these topics, including any connection between earthquakes in Oklahoma and the disposal of fracking wastewater into wells.

Tuesday, October 6 Presidential Lecture Series featuring Erik Larson in the Reynolds Center Erik Larson is a master of narrative non-fiction. His vividly written, best-selling books have won several awards and been published worldwide. His most recent book, Dead Wake: The Last Crossing of the Lusitania, is about the 1915 sinking of the ocean liner Lusitania. His book, In the Garden of Beasts: Love, Terror and an American Family in Hitler’s Berlin, is the portrait of an American ambassador and his family in Berlin during the first years of Hitler’s reign from which Larson has crafted a gripping, deeply-intimate narrative. His critically-acclaimed book, The Devil in the White City, intertwines stories of the Chicago 1893 World’s Fair and one of America’s worst serial killers. It remained on the New York Times best seller lists for a combined total of more than three years, won an Edgar Award for nonfiction crime writing and was nominated for the National Book Award..

The Collegian does not produce all event descriptions in the Community Calendar.

Contact News Editor Fraser Kastner at fjk219@utulsa.edu with events. ficers were dispatched to Mabee Gym to receive found property. Upon arrival the officers were given a piece of jewelry that was turned by a university staff member. The owner could not be determined or contacted so the property was placed into the property locker for safe keeping.

Sept. 1 2:40 p.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security officers were dispatched to investigate an injured student. Upon arrival officers were told a student briefly lost consciousness during class. Another student witnessed the student’s behavior, and gently helped them to the ground. The student regained consciousness and spoke with officers on scene. The student refused emergency medical services and was escorted by campus security to Alexander Health Center.

7:40 a.m.

While on routine patrol an officer observed a vehicle drive from 6th street on to the brick pavers in front of Lottie Jane Mabee Hall, run over a student and keep driving.

The officer immediately had the communication center contact EMSA, TPD and TFD. EMSA arrived on scene and transported the student to St. Johns Medical Center. Other officers were able to stop the driver of the vehicle between Zink and Oliphant. EMSA transported the driver of the vehicle to Hillcrest Medical Center for an evaluation. TPD impounded the vehicle pending investigation.

Sept. 2 9:30 University of Tulsa Campus Security of-

The Collegian: 5

12:30 p.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security officers were dispatched to a fire alarm at Hardesty Hall. Upon arrival officers heard no audible alarm coming from the building or the fire panel. The fire panel read, “system normal” but went ahead and checked the room that set the alarm off, and found the room clear of smoke or fire. Tulsa Fire Department arrived at and also cleared the room and then left the scene.

Sammie Hottel Student Writer Suicide bomber strikes Yemen mosque, killing 20 Two bombings took place on Wednesday at a mosque in Sana, Yemen’s capital. The first bomb was set off by a suicide bomber who entered the building during evening prayer, and the attack was soon followed by a car bomb just outside. The official death toll is twenty, but with injured victims still in the hospital, that number could rise. The perpetrator has not been identified with any one group, and the targeted mosque contained Islamic worshippers in both the Shi’ite and Sunni sects.

Yemen itself is currently plagued by civil war, and the city of Sana is under the control of Shi’ite Houthi rebels, who support the former President Ali Abdullah Saleh and fight against those loyal to exiled President Abed Rabbo Mansour Hadi. This conflict has resulted in 2,100 civilian deaths and continues to incite violence in the area.

Workers in India strike to protest labor law reform An estimated 150 million workers in India went on strike Wednesday to protest Prime Minister Narendra Modi’s attempts to reform labor laws. Under current laws, a factory that employs more than 100 workers must seek government approval to lay off employees. In order to promote businesses and boost the economy, Modi is proposing to allow factories with 300 or less employees to lay off workers without government approval. Ten trade unions responded to these proposed reforms by organizing strikes that have since affected banks, public transportation, and much more. These protests are reported to be the world’s largest since India’s previous organized strike that took place two years ago.

Men in Poland discover legendary “Nazi Gold Train” The quiet town of Walbrzych, Poland has been recently flooded with journalists, tourists, and treasure-hunters after two men claimed to have detected the legendary “Nazi Gold Train.” The names of the men have not been released to the public, but they are said to have used radar to detect the armored train still buried deep underground. The train has been a legend for decades and supposedly contains large amounts of gold and weapons. The rumor began with the “deathbed testimony” of a soldier who claimed to have helped load the train at the end of World War II. Uncovering the train would require large explosives and machinery, as it is believed that the train is buried within a system of tunnels built by the Nazis. If uncovered, both the train and its contents would be turned over to the Polish State. The local police have been patrolling the area to prevent any individual from attempting to dig for the treasure in secret. Most locals, however, are simply glad to see the mystery revealed. One man claims that he has “lived with this mystery for 40 years” and is “very grateful” to the two men who uncovered it.

U.K Prime Minister vows to take in Syrian refugees Prime Minister David Cameron announced on Friday that Great Britain would be taking in “thousands” of Syrian refugees. Earlier this week, Cameron insisted that taking in more refugees was not the answer, so this announcement marked a definite shift in his stance on the current migrant crisis. He will not, however, be taking in refugees who have fled to the European continent, but rather those still in refugee camps in Syria.

He also pledges to contribute another 100 million pounds to the crisis, which puts Britain’s total contribution at 1 billion pounds.

Cameron met with the Spanish prime minister on Friday to discuss the crisis after briefly stating that he wants “to send the message out that the best way to get a new life is not to make this perilous journey—not to set out from the Turkish coast or another coast to trail across continents and put your lives and your family’s lives at risk.”

3:00 p.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security officers were dispatched to Westby Hall to gather information on a disgruntled student.

The student is currently in a dispute with the Graduate School over enrollment. The student has sent emails to faculty members who are worried about their mental state.

5:17 p.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security officers were dispatched to Mcfarlin Library for a vehicle accident. Upon arrival Officers spoke to both drivers of the vehicles that were involved in the vehicle accident. Both parties stated they arrived in the morning for work and upon returning to their vehicles they were touching front bumper to front bumper. Officers had them exchange insurance information and advised both drivers to file a Tulsa Police report.

The Collegian does not produce or edit the Campus Crime Watch except for content and brevity.

editor-in-chief

Morgan Krueger managing editor

Giselle Willis news editor

Fraser Kastner sports editor

Matt Rechtien variety editor

Kayleigh Thesenvitz commentary editor

Hannah Kloppenburg satire editor

Caitlin Woods photo & graphics editor

Elias Brinkman

business & advertising manager

Paul Moses

web manager

Sam Chott

social media manager

Charlie McQuigg

distribution managers

Katie Hill, Walker Womack, Witt Womack and Kyranna Gilstrap

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News

The Collegian: 6 From Poetry, cover NW: So Maggie, what made you interested in the program? How did Ellen approach you about it?

Maggie Lane: Well, it’s really funny how I got involved because there’s no backstory.

Ellen had some of my siblings in school but I don’t know that I had ever been acquainted with her. I didn’t go to TSAS, but she knew some of my sisters.

So she was at the farmer’s market while I was working and just told me, “I’m going to start teaching this poetry class at the jail. Is that something that you want to do?

Because I feel like it is something you want to do.” And the year before, I had written a thesis about incarceration and restorative justice.

I had been meditating on the issues in our system for about a year, and that carried over to something that I still thought about.

I told her, “Yes, yes! Of course I want to!”

I just thought it was really weird how that played out, because it just kind of happened.

women just as much as we want to. There’s a great variety.

ES: We were walking down one of the last halls one day after class, and these two guys in front of us, who were probably no more than eighteen or nineteen, were talking, laughing about how they beat the crap out of somebody earlier that day. It was just so hard. I looked at them and thought “These are just boys.”

ML: And I think it’s really easy to frame a situation of incarceration as a situation of compassion -- and it should be this way -on the person being incarcerated, not necessarily on the person that’s in charge of that situation. But typically, I feel just as emotional about what those men would have said, or just how calloused some of these people are, as I would about these people behind the bars.

I know that their mistreatment of the inmates is really detrimental to them, even if that’s not something that they realize. So it’s pretty difficult all around, but then there are

“The more I found out the more upset I got” NW: Ellen, how did you know that was something Maggie would be interested in?

ES: Honestly -- and I do not say this lightly, and I don’t say it often -- I felt like God wanted me to ask her. I really don’t have any other explanation. I had said something to Caitlin [Maggie’s coworker] and I just felt like I was supposed to ask Maggie. I thought that she was supposed to do this.

The look on her face when I asked her was “did you know? Did you know that I did my entire senior thesis on this?” She had to wait a few months because she wasn’t of legal age to help in the jail. She’s the only person they’ve ever had in the jail that went through the training classes.

NW: What were the training classes?

What did they entail?

also really good moments. There are some really wonderful people who work there.

But it’s not glamorous.

Whenever I bring this up to people they always ask me “so it’s like Orange Is the New Black?” And I think that one of the main things about it is that it is not glamorous at all. There are no parts of it that are like a television drama that you would want to watch.

It’s all either painful or emotional or difficult or sad -- or funny -- but the way that the women care about one another is never captured. We asked them what they were grateful for, which is a pretty hard question considering their situation, but one woman said “I am grateful to be in jail because I’ve learned that the women here love me more and treat me better than my husband does.”

And a lot of those women are realizing that about their relationships.

ML: They’re pretty simple. They just talk about issues that people typically have in the jail between the inmates and the detention officers, as well as how to not be taken advantage of. So it primes you to have a certain perspective about the inmates, because you’re told beforehand that you need to be on guard. It’s just interesting to see the perspective and the culture about the inmates that is being handed to you from the training.

ES: Well, they estimate that 90 plus percent of women in jail have either been sexually or physically abused. And we hear some of those stories. One woman talked about her dad who had abused her, which was really terrible to hear.

NW: Even though you had both done research on the American prison system beforehand, has this experience changed your perspective at all?

ML: There’s one student that we’ve sustained a relationship with that’s more longterm than anything we’ve done with our other students. She was in our class two or three times, and she was incarcerated because she stabbed her neighbor. She came to our class and is just a phenomenal, brilliant writer and is a brilliant performer of poetry.

She went to prison after she moved to Eddie Warrior [Correctional Center] and so we went and visited her there, and we followed her from there to Turley. Her name is Olympia, and she’s just incredible.

The thing that I try to stress the most, and to remind myself of, and on occasion our fellow teachers, and anybody that gets involved with us, is that the focus of everything that we’re doing is speaking into the lives of the women. When they write a poem that probably no one is going to find pleasing when they read, it’s just for them to have an experience of empowerment. And I think that with Olympia, there’s been this really beautiful experience of friendship between us.

It’s something that looks a lot less like an

ML: Oh, absolutely...I think that the most amazing part about it is how little security there is. It’s kind of amazing how surreal it feels to come from the outside and walk through all these layers of the prison -- Ellen calls them the “seven layers of hell” -- on the way to the heart of the jail. But, to go through door after door with a guy behind a window that you can’t see through who’s pushing a button so that you can enter this place is just a surreal experience.

ES: But nobody’s checking! Nobody checks your bags, there is no metal detector, nothing!

ML: And they only view your ID. It’s just very strange. Essentially, we could bring someone with us, just drop their license off, and bring them in the back and nobody would ask another question.

NW: It’s interesting then, with how many women they incarcerate, that they have such minimal security as to who comes in.

ES: I would have to say that is the case mostly if you are teaching, or if you’re with a religious ministry. You’re in a different category than the other people that come in.

ML: And they trust us a lot. They’ve told us repeatedly about the impact that our classes have. I think the image that I always go back to is the one of the very first class that I went to. I walked in and the guy sitting at the desk asked me, “Does it matter that you guys even teach this class? Poetry?

What’s the point?”

I told him “Yes, absolutely it matters.

Giving these women a way to express themselves is very important.” He said, “Well, I think after their second offense we should put them on a helicopter and drop them over Afghanistan!” I just thought “What?! What are you talking about?” That was a moment when I thought that everything that Orange Is the New Black taught us is true. But then you meet people like some of the officers that we’ve met who are there for reasons that you know are much more complicated, and are there to speak into the lives of these

NW: So then what is the most powerful or memorable interaction you’ve had with one of the women? There seems to be a lot to pull from.

of overwhelmed by the negative effect of prison on these women. You know, I was thinking about this when I visited Olympia this week, and I feel like there’s a toll that prison is taking on her that will make it hard for her to go back into society. It’s almost like it dooms her to repeat unless she just rises above it.

That is discouraging and daunting to me in our role with these women, because we have a limited amount of time to spend with them. We have five weeks, at most, and sometimes it’s just once. So early on when we were putting this together we had to realized that we can’t change everything for them.

But if we can be a spark that gives them a sense of self-worth and empowerment, a sense that their voice matters, then maybe even when they meet us it’ll make a difference. But it is a disheartening system in America. It’s disheartening to see that if you are poor, your chances of negotiating your way through this are minimal at best.

ML: The outcome for the women who get in the system is pretty horrendous.

ES: I’d say most of the women we work with are nonviolent offenders. In the pod we’re in now, it’s more the violent offenders, and sometimes that’s hard for us to work through.

ML: I will say that I’ve never had trouble with interacting with a woman and having knowledge of her offense. I’ve also never been one to seek that knowledge out. Typically other people will mention it to me and it’s another one of those surreal experiences.

Sometimes you’re talking to someone and it just comes up that they killed someone.

And your reaction is “Oh! Okay, I didn’t know that!” You know, you don’t have that when you’re just sitting down having coffee with someone, but I regularly have that experience. It’s as if one of your friends that you didn’t know was adopted told you, “By the way, I’m adopted” and you say, “Oh, I didn’t know that!”

It’s amazing how when you actually build relationships with these women you tend to see the person rather than the action. But there are a few students, one in particular,

ES: Sometimes I feel daunted and kind

that it’s really hard for people’s brains to recover from a sensory deprivation experience when they’re in jail or prison. The thing about the Tulsa jail is that it’s supposed to be, on average, a ten day stay there. They go on to trial, and they go either to prison or they leave. But it’s not true. There are women who’ve been there over a year.

So we’ve started doing things to include sensory restoration underlying the idea of restorative justice. So we tried music, we tried fabric -- which was fun, but pretty distracting -- but the one that is just unbelievable is the essential oils that we bring.

ML: Which is also the most upsetting factor for us when we visit. I mean the smell of the prison is the most assaulting part of being there because we come right after dinner. And dinner does not smell good. It’s pretty awful.

ES: So we start off with a meditation and deep breathing to center everyone in and focus them, and we ask them what it means to have a safe space. As they’re doing the meditation, we go through and we use lavender oil...and we use rosemary...And as they leave they ask, “can we have more oil?”

ML: They’ll bring in shampoo bottles, asking if we can pour some in. Or they’ll bring in cotton balls and ask us to fill them up and they’ll take it to their bunkie. They really love the essential oils.

ES: And in a way, I think it extends that sense of safety beyond the classroom while we’re there. They say that the sense of smell is the most evocative of all the senses.

ML: Oh yeah. It’s the one that conjures up memory and feeling, you know?

ES: So imagine being able to have that positive response when you leave.

ML: It’s like if you visit your parents’ home and you wear your mom’s sweater or something, and you’re carrying that around with you all day. That’s what this is like for these women. There’s this safe place that they then get to take out with them.

And that’s what they tell us; that’s the most

“You hear these stories about their kids, or you listen to them tell jokes, and you realize how normal they are” that have been really troublesome for me and other people in authority ES: I’d say she is a sociopath, not a psychopath, but very close.

ML: The thing that this student does that bothers me is that she is just not respectful. She’s not respectful of any boundaries that we set up for the comfort or safety of everyone in the room. She’s disrespected boundaries between teachers and students, and between students and students.

So it leaves us with a lot to process because you want to allow these women to express themselves and to be involved in a community that’s safe and healthy, but you also don’t want to try and force them into a box of how poetry is “supposed” to be written. Sometimes how I think about it is if you were to walk into a classroom in Jenks High School -- something predominantly white, predominantly middle upper-class -- you’re going to go into that class and teach these students exactly how to write a good poem.

I think working with these women is difficult because you don’t want to give them too many rules because you don’t want to seem oppressive, but you also don’t want

“They estimate that 90 plus percent of women in jail have either been sexually or physically abused. And we hear some of those stories” instructor and a student, and a lot more like women coming together and reclaiming a lot of lost ground. Because Olympia is black and came from Tuscaloosa, Alabama, and I’m white and have infinitely more privilege than she does by default. She’s incarcerated and I’m not, and for us to just get together and talk, share our lives, write letters, and share a birthday… that never would have happened any other way.

For us to just share things like this feels like this huge triumph, really. A triumph over the way our society has been divided, especially for women to do that because there’s so much division that’s built into relationships that women have. It’s just been really awesome. It feels like a great victory.

8 September 2015

to forego the opportunity of criticism that will enhance their capabilities as writers.

So there’s always this tension of respecting them and building them up and enabling them. It really is like a tightrope that you’re walking.

ES: We’ve changed the classes over time as we’ve come to different realizations, and one of them is this whole idea of establishing a safe space. It’s huge. If we can, in a classroom with such a limited size, have established a sense of safety, and they can extend it beyond that room into their pod and ultimately into their lives, then we’ll have done our job.

You know, there’s a huge neurological effect to sensory deprivation. They’ve done studies on it, and they’ve shown

amazing part.

Sometimes it can feel like guesswork. But last week we got a letter from one of our students, and I am floored by the way that these women make room in their lives for my story. I mean, they’re in prison and a lot of them are going back to situations that don’t necessarily look much better than going to prison. Sometimes even worse.

And they remember what I’m doing with my weekend and what classes I’m taking, and they want to know about my life. And it’s not in a way that they’re living vicariously through me, it’s in a way that’s of genuine concern and love for me. It’s also in a really bittersweet way of a woman who, because of an abusive relationship that she had with a man in her life, her opportunities to go to college were stolen from her, so she’s asking me about that part of my life.

And they’re so encouraging and delighted that I have that opportunity, instead of being resentful, and it’s just incredible.

And the thing is, some of them are women I would not want to hang out with, but some of them are women I wish I had been raised by, that I wish I had known my whole life.

So by no means am I painting them all as victims or as martyrs or as wonderful people because it’s just the same way in my regular life, where I sometimes meet people that I wouldn’t necessarily like to spend any time with.

ES: I think most of them feel like their lives are kind of doomed. And we are there to restore hope, we’re saying, “No you can do something with your life.” I tell Olympia that every time I see her and she lists off the possibilities. She finished three years of college at an Ivy league school, and she thought it was just all lost ground. I keep telling her that she can finish her degree, that there are a multitude of opportunities for her.

NW: So how do you think the topic of incarceration appeals to the public? You two have seen these women and heard their stories first hand, but why is it important for the people who don’t know as much about it?

ES: That’s interesting because I think the issue of incarceration is a hot button issue for both conservatives and liberals. Liberals because of social justice, and conservatives because of the immense cost and the economic effects it has on the state. You combine those two and I think we’re kind of at

See Poetry, page 7

8 September 2015 From Poetry, page 6

a perfect opportunity to see our classes expand.

ML: But I have to admit that being in the space that we create is just so unique and wonderful that when I talk about it it’s hard to communicate what’s at the core of what happens there. But I never am prepared for people’s responses. Some of them look at me like they are totally confused about why on earth I would want to go into the jail and teach poetry.

The Tulsa World published an article about us, and my mom sent a clipping to my grandma thinking she would be excited to see that I’m involved in something at the jail. My grandma asked “Why the hell would she want to do that?!”

And that’s this reaction that I’m never prepared to get, and thankfully that’s not what I get a majority of the time.

ES: I feel more like it’s a religious experience when I go to the jail, like when I take my freshman class to the monastery every year.

I’m in a cloistered environment and I feel an ability to be present in the moment that I don’t feel

anywhere else. And it allows me to backtrack and feel that way more than I have ever felt in my life.

ML: I think it’s funny, because all throughout high school I went to a youth group every Wednesday, and it was this experience that grounded me. Then I graduated from high school and I started going to the jail every Wednesday for the same length of time, it was the same commitment, and it’s this other place where I feel totally safe and I feel like I’m grounded there.

There is this foundation in my life that I find there in that space, which is typically a pretty terrible space. And that’s hard to say too, because that’s the trouble that altruistic people have with it. It’s the paradox of doing something to help people while you are also being helped by it. It’s a question that I have to struggle with.

Yet, of course if you’re doing something that restores wholeness to the world you are going to be benefitted by it. And I think that can be hard for some people to think about because a lot of the time we think of benefits as being financial or economic, you know?

But the amount of humility that I am forced to encounter because of

News

this, and the changes in my everyday interactions with strangers is something that is obviously going to come out of me doing something like this. Where, because I was born and raised in Tulsa, Oklahoma, there are certain biases that you can’t help being bred into.

NW: Especially with being white, there are inherent differences that we notice right away.

ML: Right. For example, if you’re out late at night in downtown are you going to lock your car door if you see someone walk past you on the street? And it’s those little moments where you make tiny little judgments about people that you see every day.

ES: And early on when I started at the jail I realized that a lot of women that I saw there, if I had seen them anywhere but the jail I would have judged them or categorized them as a meth person, or a homeless person and I would have already dismissed them in my consciousness instead of seeing them as human beings that are worthy of my time and respect.

ML: And you hear these sto-

The Collegian: 7 ries about their kids, or you listen to them tell jokes, and you realize how normal they are. And I definitely wouldn’t have thought they would want to know so much about me and my life. It really is unbelievable how much these women care about us. I mean, we love them… but they love us.

NW: I think that’s because they recognize that you guys care about them, and they understand the sacrifice you make by coming each week and spending time with them and teaching them.

ES: And we’re not your typical people that go to visit prisoners in jail. So I think we’re all pretty conscious of what we wear realizing that they don’t ever see any other color other than orange in their lives. The odd part about the women in the Tulsa jail is that 24/7 they are in these pods.

ML: Yeah, it’s about as crowded as the three of us in this bedroom, and yet they never get to leave unless they’re going to trial or being released. This is where you eat and you sleep and use the restroom.

There’s one little recreation area that’s kind of like a cement block

with a screen on the top so that you can see the sky.

NW: So if you two could say something to the public, having now experienced this, what would it be?

ES: I would just say that these are human beings. These are women of worth, women who have kids; these are women who have been hurt, and these are women whose lives are basically a shitstorm and they’re still trying to hang on. Don’t ever, ever reduce them to something like “Orange Is the New Black,” because they are so much more than that.

ML: There’s this word “sonder,” which is the realization that everyone, every other person in the world, has an interior life just as complex, strange, and particular as your own. That’s the word that comes to mind, “sonder.” It’s almost like “wonder.” Wonder at the unique, strange, complicated lives that these people have, and give them the benefit of having a story that’s just as wonderful and terrible and singularly incomparable as your own.

Aspire to Greatness

Looking to make an impact on campus and beyond?

The Collegian is looking for student writers as well as staff to assist with graphics, photography, advertising and more.

Meetings every Monday at 5:00 PM Oliphant 110

Variety

the Collegian : 8

8 September 2015

“The Diary of a Teenage Girl” is disturbingly realistic The Diary of a Teenage Girl breaks the stereotype of unrealistic coming-of-age movies.

Steven Buchele Student Writer

Wild, disorienting, and at moments bordering on pornographic, The Diary of a Teenage Girl calls its viewers back to adolescence. Anyone who remembers their teenage years will remind you that those were never “better days” nor “simpler times.” They were terrifying and giddy.

Minnie’s secret diary, recorded on audio cassettes, takes us through her trials as she discovers new games she can play as a budding adult. These games, however, come with new rules and no one around is qualified to explain to her what they are.

Bel Powley takes on the role of Minnie, playing the whole range of adolescent emotions believably and engagingly as Minnie finds her own oozing sexuality exhilarating and dangerous. The best part of her performance is her twitch-

ing, playful smile—because it makes Minnie completely believable—and her large wet eyes as they hold back tears— because they carry the heavy emotions that words can’t express.

One of the movie’s special treats is the animation that is sprinkled throughout. Serving to augment the reality of the film, it captures the psychedelic nature of the 60s that perpetually hovers in the background as well as the film’s bizarre sexual-macabre tone.

While Diary is undeniably a coming of age tale, it differs greatly from other, more familiar examples, in the genre.

Many coming-of-age flicks are about shedding the trappings of youth and taking one’s place among the realm of adults.

Minnie, however, is “officially an adult” even before the movie starts.

Unfortunately most of the people around her have the “adult” thing about as well under control as she does. Her mother is irresponsible and her happiness is dependent on men, alcohol and drugs. Her former

step dad is pretentious, narcissistic and only on the most distant fringe of the picture.

And the man currently seeing Minnie’s mother is starting a vitamin-mail order company (professionally unemployable) and lives up to the promise his pedo-stash makes.

No, Diary is not the story of

a child becoming an adult; it is the story of an adult becoming mature in a world where maturity is hard to find and easy to lose. It grabs onto themes and questions that plague even the most well adjusted adult: the desire to be loved, to be happy, to be safe. Beyond even those, though, Diary looks at how we

Minnie’s life doesn’t glamorize adolescence in the way many coming-of-age stories

Adventures of an international student

One international student tells her story of adjustment after her first year.

Linh Phan Student Writer

Studying abroad has been my dream since I was in elementary school. Today I’ve finally achieved it here at TU. As usual, the sweet comes with the bitter. Problems that I ran into, and am still running into now, were unimaginable before I came here.

The first thing I, or any other international student, hears about before going to another country is culture shock. It sounds easy to think of examples and advice to deal with it, but it’s not. When I was in an English writing class for international students my professor said, “Culture shock?

You never know when it will come.” And yeah, he was right.

My first US and also TU experience was orientation, which was so helpful and informative. It helps us shape the culture and customs here, and taught us some tips of what we should do.

I almost bit my tongue when I heard that Americans are direct and honest. They don’t have bad personalities, they just sound bitter to me. Where I’m from, manners matter more. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be honest, but it means you shouldn’t be too direct.

For example, when you’re complaining or showing disagreement, choosing careful words will help the other feel better when they hear it. And it’s easier for them to accept what you said as well. Being too honest and saying things directly can be considered rude and lacking respect, especially

to an older person.

The same applies to classrooms. Growing up, if you want to ask something you raise your hand in silence until you get called. Comments are very rare, you can only talk or leave the room when the professor allows, and of course eating is prohibited. That’s why when I came here, learning has become much more relaxing and active as well as flexible.

Each professor has their own demands, which surprises me a lot.

The biggest challenge for almost every international kid I believe, is language. My English isn’t that bad, and I have a little more than needed for the language requirements to come here. But still, slangs and phrases I’ve never heard before keep bumping into my ears, followed by awkward moments when I don’t know why everybody’s laughing.

And I can’t forget those tough times in class when I keep flipping my textbook pages trying to figure out what the professor’s talking about.

I remember my first semester here, I was in Calc I, and after class, instead of reviewing the math formulas and equations, I looked up tons of words and phrases in the dictionary, tried to read books beforehand, found new words and looked up some more.

Now, here I am, at TU as a sophomore. I can’t stop remembering the old days.

They were tough, but really worth the effort. I’ve never regretted anything, and will always be thankful of all that has happened and led me to where I am today. About culture shock, I still don’t know if it has come or not, but I know I’m ready to greet it with a smile.

fill the holes in our hearts that the acidity of life eats away.

Diary is not a fun movie, the humor is muted and the subject matter often uncomfortable, but it is a good movie; one that is worth seeing to remind us of our ongoing adolescence, even if we never happened to be teenage girls.

Photo courtesy: consequenceofsound

graphic by Sa

rah Power

Musings of a displaced country boy Moving from a small town to a big city takes its toll on one TU student.

Joshua Ridgway Student Writer It should come as no great shock to any of us, but the way of life in the city is far and away different from how we do it in the country. Not to say that one is inherently better than the other, far from it. I have found many things that I like much better in town than out of it, and vice versa.

What I’m really talking about is the abrupt change from one to the other. One day, I was working cattle on the familiar wide open with lots of farmers, the next I’m negotiating the mysterious narrow city streets.

It’s quite a lot to take in.

First, let me describe the town I’m from. Rosedale. It’s small, even by small town standards. Population: 50, not including dogs, made up of two major families. One main road, one business, two churches, and a volunteer fire department. The high school was disbanded 50 years ago.

We don’t even get a dot on the county map. The county map!

People let their dogs have run of the town, and you can walk

the circumference in about an hour or so. Essentially, it’s the polar opposite of Tulsa.

But even so, not everything is different. The city may have more options for grocery stores and restaurants, but they are still a fair distance away.

People still make rolling stops at stop signs and gas stations are still the center of gossip. So that’s a plus.

Traffic is by no means the same though. I spent about ten minutes just trying to get down one block the other day.

The last time traffic was that backed up in Rosedale was the time some hotrodder from out of town rolled his car in an intersection (Don’t worry, he came out alright). Usually the only time it’s hard to get out of your driveway is when school’s about to start. Even then, it only takes about three minutes, which gets your car warmed up anyway.

There is also a marked difference in clothing styles.

Back home, we tend to dress for practicality, since you never know if a buddy is going to ask you to help out with his animals after school and you don’t have time to change. Typically it’s calf-high boots, jeans and a button down.

In Tulsa, I’ve noticed most

people wear polos, khaki or gym shorts with sandals. I’m not making any judgements; it’s not like there is any real danger of working cattle in town, but it does lead one to realize that things operate in a different way hereabouts.

Music is also radically different. Take my Senior Prom. We berated the DJ for not playing country staples instead of club music. In Tulsa, club music is incredibly popular, with Alabama, Hank Williams Jr, and all the rest being largely ignored. Can’t even find a half decent classic rock station. This difference I do complain about, since that club music just sounds like some idiot sat on a synthesizer and called it music.

All in all, I do enjoy living in the city, but I long for home.

Guess that’s something most people face, whether they’re from Rosedale or a foreign country. It takes some getting used to.

I chose this university because it was so different from home, not realizing exactly how different it would be from the outside looking in. But I wouldn’t do anything differently, not by a long shot.

This country boy isn’t the type to give up.

Rosedale

The location of Rosedale, OK, revealed with the aid of a magnifying glass.

Photo courtesy Kate Kieu

From left to right: Linh Phan, Tana Alison, Lan Le and Giselle Willis Cuauhtle at a welcome picnic put on by the Association of International Students.

graphic courtesy Sarah Power

Variety

8 September 2015

This week the Void would like to hear some inspiring words from its readership, specifically the seniors. Below are a few questions for all the old hats on campus. Please send answers to any/all of them to the Collegian office or simply write them down and burn them, because nobody cares.

1. How are you planning on becoming a small insignificant cog in the big business machine of the American (or international) workforce and what

meaningless work will you do?

2. In what way(s) has the TU administration oppressed you?

Please use specific examples and graphics where possible.

(For your safety do not post your answers on Facebook) 3. What useless information that will never be useful in your desired occupations did you learn over your past few years?

4. What’s the most depressing thing you’ve ever done for free food?

5. For those that are continuing their education in graduate

Written by Adam Lux or was it?

“twenty-one plus”

school, how does it feel to still be trapped in the heavy claws of the American education system?

6. Student Debt? Or Nah? 7. How many times did you wake up on some random person’s bathroom floor already crying because you knew you’re never going to accomplish the goals you once held as a child and you realize your only option is to try and get through life feeling the least amount of pain you can until you die?

Drink this if: You enjoy a Custom cocktail creations tart, bubbly, sharp drink with and accompanying critiques a touch of sweetness and a dry presented by TU’s own texture. While this cocktail is hobbyist mixologist.

Epic Rap Battles of History gave an epic performance in Tulsa An incredibly fun concert was held at The Vanguard last week for Epic Rap Battles of History.

Kayleigh Thesenvitz Variety Editor On Thursday Sept 3 the youtubers behind Epic Rap Battles of History (ERB), Nice Peter and EpicLLOYD, brought their tour to Tulsa, and it was easily the most entertaining concert all year.

ERB is a youtube video series that recently completed their fourth season of videos.

Their videos are recognizable for having famous historical and cultural characters duke it out. Some of their most popular videos have grossed nearly 75 million views on youtube, and their channel has 12 million subscribers.

The cost of the show was $25 per person and the show kicked off at 7:30 pm. The Vanguard was practically filled to capacity with ERB fans. Despite not having a fog machine, the air was so dense with e-cig vapor

the Collegian : 9

that no one could have known the difference.

This year was their second consecutive visit to Tulsa while on tour. They made sure to use the iconic concert-goer pandering of, “We definitely put Tulsa on our tour schedule because Tulsans are the best.”

An English band by the name of Jackpot Golden Boys headlined the show and did an excellent job of getting the crowd pumped up. They also managed to convince a building full of Oklahomans to use the phrase, “cheers” regularly.

The youtube superstars opened the show with the very first rap battle they ever did, John Lennon vs. Bill O’Reily.

The show consisted of its usual antics. One part clever commentary, and the other part references to male genitalia.

They stuck to their guns and only rapped the sketches they have on their youtube page, but it didn’t deter in anyway from how epic it was to be 3 feet away from internet stardom.

Freshman Jacob Eddy at-

tended the concert and said, “It was cool to see people who started small on youtube touring the world with what they do. Unlike most other ways to fame, YouTube famous people never seem to forget who made them famous in the first place.”

Nice Peter and EpicLLOYD could have easily rocked the stage alone, but they went a step further by letting people from the audience come on stage and show off their rapping skills.

Audience members were only invited on stage if they knew all the words, but that didn’t seem to be a problem for the majority of the audience.

Every person who went on stage was incredibly enthusiastic and completely nailed their part.

When it was time to close the show, they had no problem with coming back on stage for a four song encore. It’s safe to say that everyone left the concert hall happy with their ticket purchases.

cally altered looks to reconnect with her husband under an assumed identity.

The premise may lead you to believe that Nelly is a kind of femme-fatale, a spider woman escaped from the black and white of film noir into an oddly romantic thriller. This is, thankfully, not the case.

Most who endured the horror of the concentration camps did not leave stronger for it, our protagonist reminds us constantly. Her movements are timid and awkward; her walk is especially deliberate. The slow pace of the film is often on her account, as she tries to muster up the courage to navigate a

of makeup or special effects could produce.

The film quickly progresses into a darkly romantic drama, with situations that are reminiscent of 1958’s Vertigo. Both films feature men reinventing their fairer counterparts who, against their better judgment, cooperate willingly. Both feature a lover’s betrayal and their partner’s innocent, ignorant denial of such. Finally, both use a premise of mystery and frankly unbelievable circumstance to exemplify the lengths people will go to meet the expectations of those with which they are infatuated.

Sara Douglas Student Writer Yellow Bike:

undeniably invigorating, the sourness may be unpalatable for some. Consider topping with a dollop of fresh whipped cream for a mellower sensation.

1 oz. Blue Sapphire gin 1 ½ oz. limoncello ½ oz. fresh lemon juice 3 oz. club soda rimming sugar lemon slices Dip rim of cocktail glass into lemon juice, then sugar.

Shake gin, limoncello and lemon juice over ice.

Strain into chilled glass; top with club soda.

Garnish with two lemon “wheels.”

Sara Douglas / Collegian

EpicLLOYD performing the part of Chuck Norris.

Kayleigh Thesenvitz / Collegian

EpicLLOYD and Nice Peter saying goodnight to their fans.

Kayleigh Thesenvitz / Collegian

“Phoenix” balances romance with historical accuracy A holocaust survivor is reborn in Phoenix, the provocative new drama from writer/director Christian Petzold, starring Nina Hoss and Ronald Zherfeld.

Trent Gibbons Student Writer In an age of cinema saturated with heroic and near-apocalyptic depictions of World War II, it’s too rare an occurrence that a film tries to capture the ambiguity of the reconstruction that followed.

This reconstruction included the international outcry for reparations, widespread

Phoenix drips with atmosphere and sacrifices historical accuracy for none of it.

The whole thing rings out as a turning-point in history. Stray Allied soldiers gather in clubs to lust after German girls and widows alike. Citizens casually walk the streets of crumbled, burned-out homes. Nelly’s fellow Jew and long-time confidant Lene talks of pilgrimage to Palestine, where their faith can find sanctuary and undergo cultural revival.

Nelly, in turn, reflects much of the Jewish post-war hardships. She seeks a reconnection to her old family and friends,

but in her photos we see each marked as dead (a cross above their head) or as a Nazi (their face circled harshly). She wants to forgive her tormentors so as to repress her torment.

The film immerses us in Nelly’s tragedy and her desires.

I questioned as many times as Nelly what her best course of action would be and, like her, wrestled with my conclusions.

Phoenix is nothing short of a masterpiece for its ability to make the audience as driven and illogical as its characters, the way more dramas should be.

“Phoenix drips with atmosphere and sacrifices historical accuracy for none of it” moral introspection and the Allies’ obligation to mend the Axis. These conflicting emotions were especially true for the Jewish-German populace, many of whom longed to return to their lives in the very country that oppressed them.

Phoenix, the latest film from writer/director Christian Petzold, adopts this particular topic by telling the story of a twisted extreme. That extreme case is Nelly, a survivor of the concentration camps who uses her supposed death and surgi-

crowd or make an inquiry to a stranger.

Phoenix manages to be as disturbing and provocative as any holocaust film I’ve seen, and it does so -rather uniquelythrough implication. Maybe the most explicit example of this occurs when a cocky allied soldier orders her to remove her bandages. The camera does not show us her fresh scars, mangled flesh, or exposed bone. Instead it cuts to an exterior shot, provoking in the viewer far worse images than any amount

Johnny admires the similarities between Nelly and his dead wife.

Photo courtesy : IMDB

Commentary

The Collegian: 10

8 September 2015

Hardesty residents express mixed feelings

Though the new residence hall offers a variety of amenities, some aspects of Hardesty are less than favorable.

Katy Nichols Student Writer

Elias Brinkman / Collegian

The newly completed Hardesty Hall.

Sobriety checkpoint: Myth or reality?

Does it exist? The (true) story of my disappointment.

Morgan Krueger Editor-In-Chief It was Saturday night and I, like a typical college student, had exciting plans.

My Saturdays are usually spent cooking delicious meals with friends, slaving over organic chemistry problems, or cuddling with my bf Netflix. But this night, I had something special planned: driving through a sobriety checkpoint!

If you actually read the schoolwide email that conveniently told every TU student exactly when and where they shouldn’t drive drunk on Saturday, August 29, then you know exactly what I’m talking about.

I had never been through a sobriety checkpoint nor even seen one. I had, however, heard tales of the mysterious sobriety checkpoints that pop up out of nowhere and are the reason your cousin Hector no longer has a driver’s license and has to bum rides off of you.

And so, on that beautiful Saturday night I decided I was going to track down a sobriety checkpoint...and drive through it!

Naturally one of my friends

thought this was a thrilling idea and agreed to accompany me on my quest. (Said friend’s name has been changed to Saul, so people don’t read this article and draw the conclusion that he is the lamest person ever).

The clock struck midnight. My friend drove to my apartment, and honked three times. I ran down the stairs, barely containing my excitement. “Do you have your license and registration?” I asked, thinking about that one line cops always ask in movies. He did indeed have the requisite paperwork.

We were off! Into the night we went, eyes peeled for a sobriety checkpoint. We had no idea what such a thing would look like, but figured a checkpoint was like a chupacabra--we’d know it when we saw it.

Imagine our surprise when we reached the reported intersection, and drove straight through. No cops, no flashing lights, no barricades. Nothing. It was after midnight, prime sobriety checkpoint time.

Maybe we missed it? We turned around and proceeded through the

intersection again, driving several blocks past. Then we did a loop around the school, ducked under the freeway, drove in a circle. And saw nothing.

Our titillation fading by this point, we began to wonder if the advertised sobriety checkpoint did, in fact, exist. Had the university lied to us? Had TU purposefully got our hopes up, only to crush them?

After a few more loops, we finally admitted it. We had been conned. There was no sobriety checkpoint, just like there was no tooth fairy and no way to get out of college debt-free.

I thanked my friend for accompanying me on this failed quest, trudged up the stairs and collapsed onto my bed.

Alas, my dreams of experiencing the glory of a sobriety checkpoint would remained unfulfilled.

I can only imagine what might have been.

Note: At the time of publication, rumors had surfaced that the elusive sobriety checkpoint was spotted last Saturday on Harvard.

In 2014, the University of Tulsa started construction on a new residence hall. Said residence hall was to house 310 students. Students and faculty waited anxiously for the completion of this interesting new building. Finally, this mystery residence hall was ready to house eager undergrads.

Hardesty Hall, named after the generous donors from the Hardesty family, is located right next to the ACAC- excuse me, the Student Union. This residence hall is ideal for engineering students as it is less than a five minute walk to Kepplinger Hall. Move in day was exciting, everyone was eager to see what Hardesty Hall would look like.

Hardesty Hall has a beautiful interior with bright colored walls, multiple study lounges, an exquisite kitchen and various other features. The residence hall is coed; where members of the opposite sex are on the same floor and in the same hall. The rooms are “half-suite” style; two rooms connecting to one bathroom. The beds are pre-constructed as loft style with a desk and a dresser underneath the bed.

The rooms are designed to be energy-efficient; each room has a motion sensor to detect movement. For instance, if the room does not detect movement, the lights will automatically turn off.

In addition, every room comes with its own thermostat that each student can adjust to their liking.

Or at least that is how it was designed to be.

It is without a doubt, a wonderful residence hall. Not only is it a brighter and more “clean cut” environment, but it comes with many perks that any student who has lived in another residence hall greatly appreciates.

“Everything in here is new and has never been used before,” said sophomore Justin Dussold, a Hardesty resident, “That alone is a wonderful feeling.”

The peace of mind that everything is clean and beautiful is very welcoming to students. Besides, who wouldn’t want to sleep in a bed ten feet off the ground?

Although I could go on and on about how lovely my new home is, a few small changes could make this residence hall even better.

As stated previously, each room was designed to have its own thermostat that residents could control. The week prior to upperclassmen move-in, the rooms had that ability. However, when the upperclassmen moved in, the Physical Plant turned off the ability to set the temperature.

The Physical Plant conducted a study to figure out what temperature would be the most energy efficient. Their findings were that having the room between 72 and 75 degrees would help energy efficiency while keeping the room at a statistically comfortable setting.

The motion sensor detects when someone is in the room and sustains a temperature of 72 degrees.

However, when there is no movement detected, the temperature increases to 75. In the winter, the rooms are expected to automatically heat if the temperature drops below 70 degrees.

While this idea seems to be efficient for keeping electricity costs down, it is not a favorable add-on for many residents.

“Hardesty is great,” sophomore Nathan Gibbons, resident, stated, “but I prefer to sleep in much cooler conditions. At home, I would set the thermostat to 68 degrees, and I couldn’t sleep if it were any warmer.” This opinion is held by many students.

A study done by Dorinda Lambert, Ph.D. at Kansas State University in 1997, found that the average student prefers to sleep within conditions of 60 to 65 degrees. In Hardesty, the temperature of each room gets sustained at 75 degreesunless you move around a lot in your sleep. This is not the ideal condition for comfort, and we all know good grades rely on a good amount of sleep.

In addition, Hardesty lacks water fountains, vending machines and adequate curtains to contain the water in the showers. Installing these small accommodations would make living in Hardesty much more enjoyable.

Despite these small drawbacks, Hardesty Hall is the residence hall every undergraduate has dreamed of. A clean, happy looking space to call home for the duration of our college years. The benefits of living in Hardesty are wonderful, and personally I wouldn’t want to give up my 45 second walk to Einsteins for coffee every morning.

Brazil not equipped to host the upcoming summer Olympics

After the serious blow dealt to Brazil’s economy by the World Cup, hosting the summer Olympics will only cause more damage to the nation.

Joseph Edmunds Student Writer

In October of 2007, Brazil was announced as the host for the 2014 FIFA World Cup. Just two years later, they were announced to be the first South American host of the Summer Olympics in 2016.

This was exciting news for a nation that was evolving into an important player in the global market.

But issues soon arose surrounding their preparedness to host the two sporting events.

Brazil ran unopposed in the election to become the host of the 2014 World Cup. While their bid to host the tournament was being prepared, it was advertised that the tournament would boost the Brazilian economy.

However, Brazil was not prepared to be host as it lacked the necessary infrastructure. The country spent a total of three billion USD on the stadiums alone, including the Arena Amazonia, a 300 million dollar mega-stadium in Manaus.

The three billion spent on stadiums makes up only a small portion of the fifteen billion USD overall spent to host the tournament. With the amount of the revenue that FIFA takes for itself, the possibility of making a profit for hosting the tournament is highly unlikely.

FIFA made 4 billion USD in revenue from the World Cup in Brazil. This revenue comes from tickets, merchandise, and sponsorships, among other things. The only outlets Brazil can profit from are the tourist locations and local markets that fans go to. Brazil only made about half a billion dollars from such revenue. Preparations also ran behind, as many obstacles arose due to the country’s lack of infrastructure.

As put by FIFA’s then-president Sepp Blatter, “No country has been so far behind in preparations since I have been at FIFA, even though it is the only host nation which has had so much time - seven years - in which to prepare.”

In addition to needing stadiums built, many of the stadiums

were very difficult to reach, and required more roads to be built to become more accessible.

At the time of the election for World Cup host, the Brazilian economy was growing into one of the largest in the world, and was projected to continue to grow.

Currently, Brazil owns the largest economy in South America, and the seventh largest economy in the world. For a growing nation, the prospect of having tourism increase while getting a large amount of publicity from hosting a large event such as the World Cup is exciting.

But Brazil’s GDP peaked in 2012, at approximately 2.5 trillion USD, and has dropped each year since then. The national debt has risen to 1.4 trillion USD, nearly

60% of their GDP. While this debt is not on the same scale as other nations (for reference, the US national debt is currently at 105% of the national GDP), Brazil lacks a plan to deal with this debt. Recently, president Dilma Rousseff sent a budget proposal for Congress’ approval that projects a deficit of 8.4 billion USD for the fiscal year.

In 2016, Brazil will also be hosting the Summer Olympics.

The cost projections for hosting the games are upward of 18 billion USD, even more than they spent to host the World Cup. With the events a mere two years apart, stadiums should be used to incorporate both as Brazil can’t afford to spend more money after the amount they already spent on the World Cup, especially since 3000

2615.2

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2209.4 2000 1694.6

1664.6 1500

1396.0 1107.8

1000

892.1 2006

2007

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BRA ZIL A graph depicting Brazil’s gross domestic product over the past ten years.

2012

2013

2014

2015

500

GDP

(USD Billions) Graphic by Elias Brinkman

many of the World Cup stadiums are now not in use.

The nation knew for five years before the World Cup that they would also be hosting the Olympics, ample time to incorporate plans to convert stadiums for the Olympics after the conclusion of the World Cup. Historically, hosting these large sporting events has not been profitable, especially with the Olympics. The 1984 Olympics in Los Angeles were the first summer Olympic games to turn a profit since 1932. Barcelona also made a profit on the summer Olympic games they hosted in 1992. While these two games are popular examples, they are not a good representation of the profitability of the Olympics.

The Los Angeles games turned a large profit because of the infrastructure already present in LA. The city had multiple stadiums available to use, resulting in the cost of infrastructure to be significantly smaller than other games.

When Barcelona hosted the Olympics, it was already in the middle of an economic remodeling that would have occurred whether the city hosted the games or not.

Brazil’s economy is in a downswing, yet they lack consideration for the necessary planning of highcosting projects taking place in the country. The near future could be a crucial time for their economy.

But instead of focusing on improving their economy and eliminating their deficit, they will be focused on putting on a spectacle for the world at the Olympics.

Commentary

8 September 2015

The Collegian: 11

Say their names: alarming rates of transgender murders

A disproportionate number of murders involving transgender people in recent months suggests a serious problem.

Tara Grigson Student Writer

Since January of this year, at least 17 transgender people have been murdered – 15 of the 17 were people of color, and the vast majority identified as trans women. All but two were under 40 years old, and one was under 18.

Transgender women have a life expectancy of approximately 32 years.

For anyone who is not clear, someone is transgender when the biological sex they are assigned at birth does not align with their experience of their gender. I am cisgender, because I was born into a “female” body and I identify as a woman. Someone might be transgender if they are born into a male body but identify as a woman – or they might identify with a gender outside of the binary, or they might identify with no gender at all.

We have recently seen a vast number of deaths of people of color, mostly at the hands of a corrupt system. In the past year, the US has debated the death of Michael Brown, the arrest and likely suicide of Sandra Bland, and the validity of the “Black Lives Matter” movement, among other things. We have learned that race is still an incredibly divisive topic in this country, and that people either believe that systemic racism is alive and well or that it is a relic of the past.

Fifteen of the 17 transgender people who were murdered were people of color. That is an incredibly disproportionate number. Unfortunately, discrimination against transgender people is fairly common. It is legal in a lot of states, including Oklahoma.

The number of trans people of color who were murdered suggests a serious problem.

Murder is always bad, no exceptions, but at some point we have to look at the data and accept that race does play a role in the intense hate that transgender people of color so often experience.

Transgender people of color experience the discrimination that comes with being transgender and the discrimination that comes with being a person of color. This intersection seems to create an incredibly volatile amount of hate, and people literally

die because of it.

Masculinity is incredibly fragile, and rejecting masculinity can be dangerous. In the United States, male-bodied people are taught from early childhood that they have to be strong emotionally, physically and psychologically, and that boys who do not conform to this standard are less important, less valuable and ought to be the object of derision. They ought to “man up”.

The majority of these murdered people identified as transgender women, which means that while they were born into a male body, they did not experience “man-ness” as their gender, even as children. Because society sees these women as men who have rejected masculinity, their murders are incredibly violent and overtly hate-motivated.

These women did not “man up” like society said that they should – so they were hated, and then murdered.

Regardless of how we feel, personally, about transgender identities, when we see that other humans are being murdered – often brutally – we have a duty, as human beings, to say that this is unacceptable.

Whether or not we accept the existence of modern systemic racism, whether or not we believe “black lives matter” is a racist movement – these humans deserve to live their lives without fear of violence and we ought to fight for them.

Papi Edwards, Lamia Beard, Ty Underwood, Yazmin Payne, Taja DeJesus, Penny Proud, Bri Golec, Kristina Reinwald, India Clarke, K.C. Haggard, Mya Hall, Mercedes Williamson, Amber Monroe, Shade Schuler, Kandis Capri, Elisha Walker, and Tamara Dominguez.

Those names represent seventeen human beings who had their lives cut short by hatred and intolerance and unspeakable violence. How many people have to die before we reach our tipping point? How many people have to lose their lives before we speak up for them, before we say “no more,” before we accept this is indicative of a much larger problem?

Please, speak for these people. Say their names. Tell their stories. Don’t let their deaths be in vain. By increasing visibility we can make a difference in the lives of trans people and people of color. We have to be willing to fight for them – because they should not always have to fight for themselves.

Black lives matter. Black trans lives matter. Say their names.

Photo courtesy www.ashleymadison.com

Hackers seek justice, ruin reputations

Hackers who exposed the personal information of users of an “infidelity dating website” may have publically shamed innocent people.

Sarah Noonan Student Writer

The CEO of Ashley Madison, Noel Biderman, resigned on Aug 20 after a group of hackers released 36 million users’ names and personal information. In addition, the hack also leaked the emails of many leaders in the company, including Noel Biderman himself. Government employees, military personnel and religious leaders alike have had their email addresses revealed to be associated with the controversial website.

The website itself is a dating site, but it’s not a normal one. As opposed to sites such as Match.com and eHarmony, Ashley Madison isn’t helping you search for someone you want to marry. They assume you’ve already married someone and still want more.

The motto of the website is, “Life is short.

Have an affair.” According to Ashley Madison itself there are more than 40.5 million members searching for infidelity on this dating platform. Although the number of active profiles is only about half of that number, that is still quite unsettling.

In addition, of the 20 million or so active profiles, only 12,000 are females. This is despite the fact that the services provided

by Ashley Madison are free for females, whereas men must pay a fee to join. The company states that the ratio of men to women on their site is 1.2 to 1, but they use a trick to get those numbers to turn out in their favor.

According to Annalee Newitz, who analyzed the leaked data, nine thousand false female accounts on the website were created using emails such as 100@ashleymadison.

com, 200@ashleymadison.com, and so on.

Furthermore, Newitz looked at patterns with the IP addresses, which can reveal the location of the computer used to open an account. She found that the second most common IP address referred to a “home” computer that likely belonged to Ashley Madison. 82% of the accounts made using this IP address were female, whereas only 15% of all of the accounts on the website are female. This vast difference is assuredly cause for suspicion.

However, in spite of the many failings and the moral ambiguity of Ashley Madison, I’m not sure the hackers brought about justice in the right way.

Some of the people who were revealed to have had accounts on this website could have been on it for other reasons besides being unfaithful to their spouses.

Some spouses agree to an open marriage, in which both partners can stray if they wish. The website also has an option for single men and women to join.

Additionally, and very importantly, Ashley Madison does not require the email address used to create the account to be confirmed.

Therefore, some of the government employee email addresses that were found within the 36 million users could have easily been used by completely different people not wanting to use their own emails on the secretive website.

The hackers, who call themselves “The Impact Team,” publicly shamed these innocent people along with the others. Although the second leak rightly exposed the leaders in the company and caused Noel Biderman, the self-proclaimed “King of Infidelity,” to step down, the first leak ruined the reputations of people who may very well have been innocent.

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Commentary

The Collegian: 12

8 September 2015

Watch the White House: Why Kanye West’s presidential campaign isn’t such a joke

Wait before you scoff at Kanye West’s bid for the presidency - he’s not the worst candidate for the job.

Sam Chott Student Writer

When we think about Kanye West, we think about a clown. A big, wacky, neo-minstrel show clown. We cackle with glee when we hear about Kanye’s latest Kanye-ism. When Kanye interrupted Taylor Swift, we played it over and over.

We mocked him for having the gall to compare himself to Jesus, without listening to his albums.

“That Kanye,” we say, shaking our heads. “What a rascal. Did you hear what he did this time?”

Such comments are not completely unsubstantiated. The tone of West’s music, combined with the occasional mediocrity of his lyrics, does paint a picture of an arrogant man, spitting whatever’s on his mind into the microphone.

His public persona paints the picture of a man who doesn’t care what we think, a man who certainly likes to make controversial statements.

West’s latest news-making claim came at the end of a slow during a rambling, but thoughtful speech he made while accepting a lifetime achievement award at this year’s Video Music Awards. After implying an apology to Taylor Swift, imploring the crowd multiple times to “listen to the kids,” and assuring the crowd that he wasn’t a politician, West announced that

he is running for President in 2020 and left the stage.

Our first instinct here, obviously, is to do the same thing that we do when a racist, arrogant businessman with no political experience runs for president. That is, we mock them. But here we’re only dealing with an arrogant artist with no political experience–if West is an explicit racist, he’s hidden it pretty well. And the fact is, West wouldn’t be the least qualified president to sit in the Oval Office.

Normally, when we think of presidential experience, we want our presidents to have experience working in government. Whether that’s a good measurement of presidential readiness has been criticized lately, especially with the surge of Republican candidates without government experience.

America has had four presidents without governmental experience.

Washington gets a free pass, since it’s hard to have experience in the US government before it’s founded, but Zachary Taylor, Ulysses S. Grant and Dwight Eisenhower

Graphic by Elias Brinkman

Kanye’s numerous musical and business accomplishments.

had only experience leading parts of the military before sitting in the Oval Office.

Yes, the military is technically part of the government, and yes, there is some skill overlap, in terms of vague leadership skills.

Presidents do function as commander-in-chief, but they have advisors who can walk them through strategic decisions.

Much of what the president actually does without any intermediaries is politicking, in terms of being able to get people with strongly differing opinions to work together. Whether they’re working with Congress or whether they’re negotiating with foreign leaders, a great deal of the presidency is interpersonal skills.

We want a president to be able to communicate effectively and have others agree with them, and West has a wealth of experience in this area. A great deal of West’s pedigree is in hip-hop production and fashion design–two fields that demand a great deal of compromise, communication, and dealmaking. Also, as one of the most polarizing pop culture figures of our time, West likely has more experience dealing with people who disagree with him than the average politician.

I won’t claim to understand Kanye West perfectly. But from what I do understand of Kanye West, he is both incredibly serious about this bid and has no intention of becoming president.

This all isn’t to say that West would make a fine politician. He would not. His public persona is far too unstable for most voters

Graphic by James Whisenhunt The Collegian’s rendering of a Kanye 2020 campaign poster.

to take him seriously, and while he has communication skills, he’s used to working in the art world, a far cry in terms of protocol from the buttoned-down field of politics.

However, we seem to think that, because he’s not a politician,

he would be a bad president, and that’s not necessarily true. Besides, all he has to do to not be our worst-ever president is to not commit genocide, and I trust West to do that. I’d take Yeezy over Old Hickory any day.

The presidential elections should just be over already

The presidential campaign race lasts for a year and a half. This earliness is annoying and undemocratic.

Nathaniel Beckemeyer Student Writer

Doesn’t it just seem like the presidential election is always around the corner? I mean, we only elect a president every two and a half years—so why does presidential news seem ceaseless?

Wait, two and a half years?

Yes. Political campaigning begins about a year and a half before the election, and continues with only increasing intensity throughout. I honestly had to ask myself more than once if the election was this year. It angers me that the presidential campaigning has already begun—it’s annoying and it hurts democracy.

In 2015, Jeb Bush announced his candidacy for president on June fifteenth: 512 days before the presidential election. Donald Trump announced his candidacy the day after Jeb Bush. What about Hillary Clinton? April twelfth: 576 days before. And Bernie Sanders?

April 30.

Those numbers are outrageous.

It averages one year and a half before the presidential election. Contrarily, the campaign for the 2015 UK General Election, in which the prime minister is elected, lasted only five weeks this year, compared to seventy-eight weeks here.

Personally, I hate hearing about presidential campaign news. I really don’t care yet that Jeb Bush and Marco Rubio and Hillary Clinton and Ben Carson and Bernie Sanders are running.

The complexity of the campaign and the amorphousness of political platforms makes it difficult for me

to keep up with the views of the politicians.

I would much prefer to be given one month before the primaries to figure out which candidates I want to win, and then have another month of campaigning before the actual election in order to decide on the president that I really want.

This campaign scheme gives me a more concise view of the presidential candidates than the current sprawling system. Additionally, it only takes two months every four years—not eighteen or more.

Most importantly, the longer campaigns mean more expensive campaigns. Obviously, the best outcome of any election is to elect the best candidate for the position.

The capacity to run a long election does not imply the greatest qualification for the position. But candidates who get more money typically campaign longer.

This principle provides an inter-

esting corollary: Candidates who have or can get more money tend to do well.

Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, and Jeb Bush all have personal capital and connections to help support a campaign, and are all considered major candidates in the 2016 election.

Maybe the reason that they are major candidates is because they campaign for longer—it makes them seem more well established, and in this first-past-the-post system, only the top two candidates really matter.

It’s worth mentioning that Bernie Sanders is an interesting exception to this corollary in that he refuses to be funded corporately and relies heavily on individual donations. But as I said, he is an exception.

In other words, the candidates with the most money tend to hold longer campaigns, causing people

who hold shorter campaigns to seem less major and therefore less qualified.

At this point, you might wonder about Barack Obama, who was not extremely wealthy at the time of his election. He received endorsements from Oprah Winfrey for his viability as the president, and many others afterwards.

In fact, Craig Garthwaite and Tim Moore, economists at the University of Maryland, College Park, determined that Oprah Winfrey’s endorsements were at the least a decisive, and potentially the deciding, factor in his candidacy, netting him more than one million votes in the primaries.

Such inequalities reflects a failure of the system to help choose a candidate who fulfills the primary goal of the election: choosing the best candidate for the position.

Can’t we just have a single transferrable vote?

of North America’s tallest mountain from Mount McKinley to Denali. The move brought mixed reactions. Senator Lisa Murkowski said that she’d “like to thank the president for working with us to achieve this significant change to show honor, respect, and gratitude to the Athabascan people of Alaska.” In contrast, Representative Tim Ryan said that “We must

retain this national landmark’s name in order to honor the legacy of this great American president and patriot.” Though the two are from different parties, in this case it’s the Republican supporting the decision and the Democrat opposing. The reason is their home state.

Murkowski is from Alaska, where Denali is located, while Ryan is from Ohio, McKinley’s home

state. Ultimately, renaming the mountain makes more sense.

Unlike the decision to remove Alexander Hamilton, the first Secretary of the Treasury and arguably the founder of our nation’s financial system, from the ten dollar bill, this decision does not affect someone with an obvious connection to the item in question.

President McKinley had virtually no historical connection with the mountain whatsoever. A prospector named it Mount McKinley in 1896, as a show of support for William McKinley, who was then only a candidate for the presidency. It wouldn’t be until 1917 that the federal government gave official recognition to the title, calling the area Mount McKinley National Park.

In contrast, the mountain had been called Denali by Alaska natives for centuries. Even before this year’s name change, they weren’t the only ones. The Alaskan government has officially called the mountain Denali since 1975. In 1980, Congress combined Mount McKinley National Park and Denali National Monument into Denali National Park and Preserve, which is what the area is still called today. Also, the mountain is in Denali Borough (County), though the borough was established in 1990. Alaska has for the past few decades been asking

for a name change, but that proposal was always blocked by the Ohio congressional delegation.

Because of the issue being held up in Congress, the U.S. Board on Geographic Names refused to give into Alaska’s request. However, the 1947 law that created the board also allowed the Secretary of the Interior to make a decision unilaterally if the board didn’t “act within a reasonable time.” The fact that the action was unilateral also invited criticism, since the name Mount McKinley dates back to the law passed by Congress that created the park in 1917. However, the Department of the Interior maintains that the law merely established the name of the park itself. While it isn’t entirely clear that the decision was legal, the presence of legal ambiguity and the unlikelihood of judicial review because of issues with legal standing mean that the name change will in all likelihood remain.

Name changes are often regrettable because they result in ambiguity or contradict history. This name change is not one of those cases. The name Denali is more in line with the names of the surrounding area and is more in line with Alaska’s history. So, while congressional action would have been preferable, the name change itself is a positive thing.

Mt. McKinley to Denali name switch is long overdue The Obama Administration’s decision to change Mount McKinley to Denali is a positive development.

Brennen VanderVeen Student Writer Recently, the Obama administration decided to change the name

Mt. McKinley will soon have a new nametag.

Graphic by Elias Brinkman

Commentary

8 September 2015

The Collegian: 13

Katrina: A 10-year Reflection New Orleans celebrates its progress since Hurricane Katrina, while some of its residents protest for continued improvements in the city.

Kyle Crutchfield Student Writer

It’s Saturday, August 29th, 2015, exactly 10 years after Hurricane Katrina devastated the Gulf Coast, and New Orleans is packed to the brim with local residents, volunteers, workers, and even a few celebrities. The occasion is both celebratory and solemn, a delicate balance between resilience and remembrance.

Killing nearly 2,000 people and causing approximately $108 billion worth of damage, Katrina remains one of the costliest natural disasters to ever hit American shores.

These facts, while certainly impossible to forget, have been temporarily placed on the backburner by most attendees.

The day begins on a somber note at the Old Hammond Highway with a brief honoring of Katrina’s victims. Following the ceremony, participants in the Lakeview Hurricane Anniversary Parade proudly sport the national colors as they march from Harrison Avenue to Orleans Avenue, the sites marking the starting and ending points of the breached levees from Katrina.

Several blocks away, the Jefferson Medical Center hands out free barbecue to residents, while nearly one hundred volunteers on St. Claude Avenue work laboriously to clear a lot for a brand new produce stand.

And, in the Lower 9th Ward, protesters storm the streets.

They huddle inside a small hand-made house as they make their way through the largely desolate neighborhood. These protestors, mostly African-American residents of the Ward, are participating in the 10th annual Lower 9th Ward March.

Before Katrina, the Ward, which was and still remains predominately African-American, peaked with a population of nearly 14,000. After Katrina (c.2010) the population sank to a dismal 2,800 individuals, with

These photos of uninhabitable homes and businesses in the Lower 9th Ward tell the story of a slow ongoing recovery.

only a slight increase in the population up to the present.

In effect, New Orleans lost a hefty portion of its African-American residents.

Since the year Katrina hit only 37% of the homes in the Ward have been recovered, as compared to the nearly 90% recovery in the rest of the city. Boarded-up homes, overgrown lawns, and a prevailing sense of loss and hopelessness now permeate large chunks of this once vibrant community.

While it’s easy to point fingers for the Ward’s slow recovery, it’s necessary that we go back to the origin of its decay. We need to go back ten years.

Lower Ninth gets its name because it sits directly at the mouth, or the lower end, of the Mississippi River, where water normally flows down into the Gulf of Mexico. When Katrina hit, the Ward, because of its proximity to the ocean, received the brunt of the storm’s force.

Adding salt to the Ward’s wound is the fact that a significantly high percentage of its residents are impoverished. The night former Mayor Nagin announced the evacuation of the city, many residents did not have access to transportation and remained

trapped in their homes. The high level of death and destruction can be contributed partly to these facts.

It seems logical that the recovery process in such an affected area should be a bit slower, but there are many factors that have made recovery for the Ward even slower than expected.

Beginning a long list of grievances are the phony contractors who offered displaced residents of the Ward extremely low prices to rebuild their damaged homes after the storm.

What followed were huge investments from the residents and the construction of dangerous and unlivable piles of garbage, not the homes they were promised. The contractors then fled, leaving the residents in even further debt than before.

The large income disparity between blacks and whites in New Orleans, as well as the higher rate of dependents (children and the elderly) living in the Ward further exacerbated the neighborhood’s comparatively slow recovery to the rest of the city.

This disparity in recovery and the resulting differences in the quality of life for the residents of New Orleans, while garnering unique attention from the press, reflects a very common and often ignored trend in America.

As the world’s poster child for equality, the United States is grossly unequal. 1% of our population holds approximately 20% of the country’s total wealth, while the bottom

ters of the alphabet, but I was still learning and, more importantly, enjoying it.

When Sesame Street makes the switch from PBS to HBO, it doesn’t mean there will no longer be any educational programming for children. But it could make such crucial programs much more difficult for children to access.

Sesame Street has a long tradition of having an incredibly diverse cast of human characters. Famous figures like Maria, Alan, Luis, Gordon and Susan showed us that discrimination doesn’t have to exist, because it doesn’t on Sesame Street.

No other show is doing what Sesame Street does. No other show demonstrates the

diversity of people, teaches such a variety of topics and encourages children to learn by showing them all the things they can grow up to be or do.

The 2012 U.S. census showed that 46.5 million people are living in poverty across the nation. To be perfectly clear here, that is 46 MILLION people, many of whom are part of the minorities the show represents so well, who cannot afford to pay extra for a TV show.

That number represents millions of children who are going to lose the great equalizer that public television is.

In the mean time there is the fear that Sesame Workshop could start a trend among

40% holds only 10% of that wealth.

Geographically, the South has one of the highest rates of poverty in the nation, with African-Americans being affected by poverty at an extremely high rate. The current state of New Orleans, and more precisely the current state of the Lower 9th Ward, merely represent a small part of a larger trend. Even locally, the difference in income between the predominantly White residents of South Tulsa and the predominately African-American and Latino residents of North Tulsa further reflects this economic trend.

It’s inexcusable to deny help to someone on the basis of race under any circumstance, catastrophic or minute. Unfortunately, it tends to be more difficult to help those who desperately need it, and easier to help those who only need a little aid. The level of destruction in the Lower 9th Ward in conjunction with the already high level of poverty existing there, made the recovery process of the region only more difficult.

The recovery that eventually came to New Orleans simply went where the money went. And despite the efforts from residents and nonprofits, the money did not make it to Lower 9th Ward.

As resident Irvin Brown puts it, the reason for the Ward’s slow recovery is simple: “Money. Money. Money. Money.”

Photos courtesy of Wiki Commons

With all of that said, I lost nothing from Katrina. I did not lose my house. I did not lose my family members. I did not lose my friends.

So I cannot empathize with the heartbreak and devastation the residents, and the protestors, of the Lower 9th Ward must have felt and are feeling today. I can only watch them rightfully celebrate their accomplishments of the past, and cry out their needs for the future.

Sesame Street: from accessible to exclusive

Moving from PBS to HBO could be devastating for Sesame Street viewers.

Kayleigh Thesenvitz Variety Editor

Could you tell me how to get to Sesame Street? For the last 46 years all any knowledge-hungry child would need is a TV set in order to access all the fun and friendly characters of Sesame Street.

However, starting this fall parents better be willing to shell out $15 a month to HBO if they want their child to enjoy the same early education they had growing up.

The move was an attempt on the part of Sesame Workshop, the nonprofit organization that produces Sesame Street and other early education television shows, to modernize how they distribute content to their viewers, and earn more money in order to produce a greater quantity of shows each season.

Despite the good intentions, this is the worst decision Sesame Workshop could have made for the future of American education.

Once upon a time, I was a young child living in a trailer-house out in the country, where even if we could have afforded cable, we couldn’t have gotten it. This, in the days of analog television, meant only seven channels came in clearly no matter at what angle we rabbit-eared the antenna.

The only channel that catered to children like me was PBS where I could watch great shows like Dragon Tales, Arthur, Barney and, of course, Sesame Street. The best thing about those shows was that I was learning, but it didn’t feel like learning.

For me it was a treat to wake up in the morning and watch Elmo and Big Bird while my mom made breakfast, or to come home from school during the first grade and watch Max and Emmy fly with dragons in a land apart.

All that time I wasn’t aware that I was learning patterns, how to count, or the let-

HBO robs Sesame Street viewers of their right to early education and fun.

early education show providers to move away from public television all together, which could seriously cripple PBS. PBS is funded largely by private donations from people and groups whose focus is to provide a quality at-home education for children.

If shows continue to leave in order to make money, funding for PBS could dry up, forcing it to cut back on more of its quality television programs.

Sesame Workshop selling out to HBO is the equivalent of turning its back on lowerclass Americans, possibly its largest demographic of viewers, and saying, “Sorry, we don’t care about your children anymore.”

Graphic by Elias Brinkman

8 September 2015

the

The State-Run Media

State-Run media How Can News Be Real If Our Eyes Aren’t Real?

TU freshman learns all she needs to know in first week

Some students may think they’ve figured out the basics of an A&S class within the first few weeks, but they really just don’t want to do any work.

Jacob Eddy

Still hasn’t ordered his books

Hardesty Hall, TU’s monument to conformity

Graphic by Elias Brinkman

For one reason or another, a lot of the writers at the State Run Media have very strong feelings about buildings.

Steven Buchele Shouting to the wind

As you approach the terrifying ridged edifice of Hardesty Hall, a sense of dread crawls over you.

Its harsh right angles and towering size press down upon you. The same dusty sandstone you find all over campus shouts at you “Conform! Conform!” And as you walk through the gaping archway that cleaves the building, you know you will.

Some might fool themselves and hold on to the cyclonic water feature in the courtyard as some redeeming speck of eccentricity in an otherwise boring design, but it is not. Like peanut butter in the center of a steel beartrap, the feature deceptively lures us into accepting Their brand. We are one of collective, the legion, the Hurricane, it whispers with stale seduction. Join us, be one of us.

The inside of Hardesty has been carefully constructed to serve its masters’ purposes as well. Large airy halls remind us of the vacuous nature of our existence. Logically placed stairs enforce the programmatic thinking They have been

coding into us for years. Identically sized and furnished rooms disallow creativity and enforce conformity.

There is no element of discovery in Hardesty. No interesting nooks or crannies or hidden hallways to reward the curious. The design never encourages us to explore, to look for new details. Its halls are the wide empty halls of an obtuse mind, not the narrow twisting corridors of a mind sharp with wit and craft.

Such a unified and malevolent design threatens to overwhelm us, but there is hope. The attentive student will recognize the small victories of the true geniuses.

Somewhere one or two brave souls snuck into the design team and left behind small challenges for the brave to discover.

Those hidden heroes turned the Administration’s evil plan to snatch away our control into a victory. They undermined the Administration’s plan to control the temperature by implementing motion sensor controls. Thanks to the rebels’ daring plan, the temperature in the rooms will now change if no movement has been detected for a certain amount of time. And by installing finicky sensors, they have encouraged students to discover or create ways to take back control.

Those challengers also left us a warning on the third floor. In the

kitchen you will find doors with armed alarms. They will sound if any student tries to enter the sanctum of Administration, but remain silent if our Masters choose to walk our halls. The Masters are always watching, the warning reads, you can not escape from them in this building.

Another warning is left to us in the shape of porthole-like lights that illuminate the rooms. They stare down into the room, observing our every movement, judging us, reminding us that nowhere is safe from the Master’s mind numbing program of conformity.

We see you, they seem to say, see all that you have done and the Masters shall be displeased.

The whole building has been engineered, it is clear to see, by the Masters and Administration to create members of its legion. They mean to create perfect little TU graduates populating the world and spreading their influence over the globe. The Masters have begun to operate much more openly by building this new factory so close to their headquarters in Keplinger.

If you seek enlightenment do not go to Hardesty, there are only monsters there. Wait in the cave for the ones who have seen the true nature of reality to find you.

Wait in the cave that the Masters fear to approach. Wait in Kendall.

It is your only hope.

What is comedy, anyway? What exactly is satire, and why is it funny? You write articles under certain assumptions you believe are held in common. You write things that you hope everyone will find funny, or at least strike some particular chord with the people. You try not to be too niche or write jokes that only make sense to a small group of people.

We are all complex individuals who find meaning within a vast spectrum of senses, actions, and emotions. No two human beings are alike, and with that being true, how do you write satire that appeals to a large group of people?

How do you write to your readers if what they find funny and what you find funny are completely different?

The pursuit of satire is surely a more daunting endeavor than I had originally thought. In order to find real comedy, we have to search for the axiom of the human condition. What is one singular experience all humans have in common? What is one truth which all humans hold as absolute? Only once we uncover the deepest truths of the human experience will we understand what satire truly is. Only then will we reach the height of comedy.

Letter from the head propagandist

It’s the first full issue of the 2015-2016 Collegian, and the State-Run Media’s editor is already facing a serious existential crisis.

The search for the ultimate truth begins.

Caitlin Woods

This body is merely a vessel

Coming into this issue, I thought, “OK, Caitlin. Now is your time to shine. Lead this section as the funniest satire section in all of college media!”

But the more I thought about it, the more I started to wonder…

As is always the case with the start of a new semester, some new students end up in classes they can’t handle. Others start classes they ultimately find too easy.

Rachel Mattingly, a freshman this year, had been extremely excited to take Intro to Philosophy.

“Rachel started off really enthusiastically,” reported her professor, Soren Malchek. “Based on her participation in class during the first week, she seemed like a promising student.”

Just one week later, however, Mattingly suddenly refused to attend the class, leaving many of her friends confused.

When we at the State-Run approached Mattingly about this, she stated that she felt she had “nothing to gain” from her continued presence in the classroom.

She has instead opted to use the course textbook to further her “Accelerated enlightenment” endeavor.

Mattingly has already read through the second chapter, a full 20 pages ahead of those who stayed in class. “True enlightenment must be unlocked through a journey of solitude and study,” stated Mattingly, who smelled

strongly of clove cigarettes. “That and occasionally looking stuff up on Wikipedia”.

Mattingly has allegedly cut ties with friends and family to seclude herself from the “noise of humanity.” A previously close friend of the student, Cosette Salt, reported that after asking Mattingly to join her for dinner, she received the answer that “Her paltry attempts at human connection were futile and childlike, and would ultimately serve no greater purpose.”

In an effort to educate all those who are “too ignorant to educate themselves” on the finer points of philosophy, Mattingly has taken to posting the fruits of her contemplation via Twitter. She has also stated that she hopes to branch out to Instagram by the start of the fourth chapter, and come up with a new form of stable government by the sixth.

Mattingly’s friends have given up on any hope of her returning to her old self. Professor Malchek, however, remains optimistic. According to him, Mattingly is going through a rare, but not unheard of, reaction brought on by exposure to new ideas. He believes it is just something that will have to run its course.

“They usually only make it to chapter 10 or so,” says Malchek, “Around that time, she should realize her enlightenment will never amount to anything, and she’ll give up.” In the meantime, any grade she had in the class will be completely ruined due to her excessive absences.

Cesium spill creates mutant rabbit

With the announcement last week of a year-old radioactive spill on TU’s campus, writers at the State-Run Media started to wonder what other dark secrets the university has been keeping.

Adam Lux

Just grew a third arm On August 31st, university president Steadman Upham sent an all-school email informing students and staff of a spill of the radioactive material Cesium-137 on North Campus that occurred a year ago.

This email seemed as if it ended the matter. However, further research revealed some interesting facts. The University admitted to the element’s involvement in research on multiphase flow loops, but that was not the only thing the radioactive material was used for.

An interview with former TU doctoral student Steph Curie revealed more information. Curie was working for an unnamed TU professor on a bio-engineering research project involving exposing rodents to large amounts of radiation. She transferred schools about a year into the project, after she realized no one was listening to her complaints of animal cruelty, unsafe scientific practices and how she was the only one who ever cleaned the coffeemaker.

The spill occurred during her last week of research. “There was nothing small about the spill” Curie stated in the interview. “It was

all over the place, but it was concentrated in Fluffy’s cage.”

Fluffy, a small grey rabbit, was one of the test subjects and a favourite pet of the researchers.

About twenty minutes after the incident, Curie reported that Fluffy began experiencing changes. According to the researcher, the rabbit grew rapidly until he was about ten feet tall and had three inch fangs and huge claws. Fluffy reportedly attacked one of Curie’s research partners before escaping the lab. It is not known if the man survived.

“It was the most horrendous thing I’ve ever witnessed,” stated Curie. “But that guy was kind of a dick soooo...”

Sightings of Fluffy on campus started a few weeks after the spill.

Up until this point, The State-Run Media largely ignored these reports under the assumption that it was just some clever scheme by those bastards over at the Collegian to tarnish the reputation of our superior newspaper.

But this latest interview, along with tangential reports of missing carrots, extremely loud thumping noises and spoiled, painted, rotten eggs found around campus, suggest that the mutated Fluffy is all too real.

The State-Run Media advises its readership to limit their time outside, especially when transporting any type of vegetable. If you see Fluffy, do not attempt to interact with him in any way. Do not make any sudden moves, and remember you are far more terrified of him than he is of you.