6 April 2020

a student newspaper of the University of Tulsa

April 6, 2020 issue 22 ~ volume 105

Postponing commencement will exclude many seniors from attending, p. 5 Sufjan Stevens’s “Aporia” met with mixed reviews, p. 7

cover by Emma Palmer

US tests less than other countries, p. 3

Sports

The Collegian: 2

6 April 2020

2020 Olympics Postponed until 2021 Sports journalist Hannah Robbins discusses the impacts the delay of the Tokyo 2020 Olympics has on Japan and Olympic athletes.

With the global coronavirus pandemic, the Tokyo 2020 Olympics did the only thing they could: postpone the Olympics for a year.

This is the first time in history that the Olympics has been postponed rather than cancelled, and with this decision, Olympic athletes’ fates will be forever changed.

From the torch relay that started in Greece without crowds and to its abrupt stopping in Fukushima where it will remain until 2021, every step of this year’s Olympiad has made one thing clear. The games will not be the same.

To get an idea of the delay’s impact on the Olympics, one has to think of it from all the different perspectives.

The first is simple: Japan is going to lose approximately $6 billion from trying to keep the facilities Olympic ready until 2021.

They have to deal with a global pandemic while also adjusting plans, figuring out timetables and hoping that introducing this many athletes and spectators won’t cause any more infectious diseases to spread.

However, Japan will be using the Olympic Village for coronavirus patients, so maybe in these trying times they are benefiting from

not having to build major hospitals or hospital boats from scratch.

Next up, we have the athletes themselves. The conditions necessary to get in Olympic shape are tough, to say the least, and while some athletes of certain sports can continue to train and earn income as usual, for others, it is simply too much.

After the announcement, several athletes have retired early including British rower Tom Ransley, and others talk about the mental strain it puts on athletes. Keeping your body in top condition is a difficult task, and with the inability to train in some sports (gymnastics or rock climbing, anyone?), on some level all athletes are taking an unscheduled break.

Will they be able to put their body back on track and get back to their condition in another year?

For some, that might be too long.

Just like with the general population, athletes might not have the income they are used to during the pandemic. Most athletes earn money by competing in events that are now cancelled and sponsorships related to promotions they shoot and competitions they earn, which are no longer possible right now.

graphic by Emma Palmer

Some athletes are left with nothing but disapointment.

Thankfully the International Swimming League will start paying swimmers in September until the Games, but that is one group of athletes out of many.

Neither of these points call into consideration the athletes that

were in the process of qualifying for the games before their events were cancelled. It takes a perfect set of conditions to get to the Olympics, and some athletes will be competing and working for a goal they might not reach, or they

might have reached in a universe without coronavirus. There is no way to turn back the clock, but for these athletes, their perfect season where they could have won may never be realized because next year will be a different year.

Hello! You might be wondering why I have returned.

Perhaps I suddenly regained my appreciation for this column. Or my love of sports generated an unquenchable zeal within me.

Well I am afraid the answer is as unromantic and wthout ceromony as all the cancellations this year.

I needed to fill up space.

You see, newspapers have a rule where the entire page has to be used for something. This is what we call “filler,” or something we write and put in a space just to take up room.

And so without further ado, here is this week’s filler.

First, 2K Sports This is not a new topic at all.

Many journalists, including our own Hannah Robbins, have covered how NBA teams are playing each other other in the video game 2K Basketball to settle the rest of the season.

But I was thinking about another way to take it. This may be a good trial run for E-Sports that feature games about real sprots.

The industry is very aware that it would be a hard sell to convince people to watch other people play video games of real sports.

But if people actually like it, then it may be avery odd road to go down in the future Maybe, just maybe, there could be a real following for 2K and Fifa.

Now the two games do have some fans currently, but the difference with those games is that there is no real-life version of “Overwatch” or

“League of Legends.” Furthermore, I wonder if in the distant future ESports athletic sports will be close to competing with the NBA or NFL. This is coming at a time when the NFL especially is looking at a grim future. The deep-rooted problems with the sport are starting to take hold.

Fewer parents than ever are allowing their kdis to play the sport for fear of injuries, especially brain injury.

The league itself also has the problem of frequent scandal which also may cause people to turn to Madden instead of the NFL. Secondly, Marbleympics.

The former bleacher creatue, Justin Guglielmetti himself, was a huge fan of this.

Justin found a youtube series where a man would set up Olympic style events for marbles to compete in together.

He gave them team names and a variety of different forms of competition to try, like racing down a track he built.

Given the real Olympics are postponed, this is a great way to keep yourself entertained.

In addition to being an alterrnative to sports, the youtube videos are very wholesome and calming during these rough times.

They are a little bit of joy in the world.

And with that, this is the bleacher creature signing off. Everyone stay healthy!

@TUCollegian

tucollegian@tucollegian.org editor-in-chief

The Collegian is the student newspaper of the University of Tulsa. It is distributed Mondays during the fall and spring semesters, except during holidays and final exam weeks. The University of Tulsa does not discriminate on the basis of personal status or group characteristics including but not limited to the classes protected under federal and state law. Inquiries regarding implementation of this policy may be addressed to the Office of Human Resources, 800 South Tucker Drive, Tulsa, Oklahoma 74104-9700, (918)631-2616. Requests for accomodation of disabilities may be addressed to the university’s 504 Coordinator, Dr. Tawny Rigsby, (918)631-3814. To ensure availability of an interpeter, five to seven days notice is needed; 48 hours is recommended for all other accomodations.

Ethan Veenker managing editor

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commentary editor

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This is a fake calendar since all sporting events have been cancelled.

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

3

4

M Coronaball vs. ORU 6 p.m.

W Basketball Covid League 8 p.m.

5

Thursday

Saturday

Friday 6

7

Sunday 8

9

Race to the Track & Field M Basketball M Coronaball Staying Alive vaccine vs. OCU Everyone @Your house NCAA Virus vs. Covid-19 All Morning Tournament 6 p.m.

All the Time 5 p.m.

All Day

News

6 April 2020

The Collegian: 3

US compared to the world on COVID-19

As the U.S. surpasses other countries for the highest amount of confirmed cases, we are lagging behind in testing internationally..

Dominic Cingoranelli Student Writer

The COVID-19 pandemic is arguably the most significant epidemiological event since the 1918 Spanish Flu. Different countries at different stages of outbreak have handled the pandemic in dramatically different ways. On account of that, it is prudent to conduct a brief overview of how several countries have handled the crisis.

Italy has seen an abnormally high death rate, likely because the elderly are more vulnerable to COVID-19, and Italy has an older than average population; almost 22 percent of the Italian population is over the age of 65. Italy has conducted a total of 2,514 tests per million people as of March 17, and it seems that the worst of the pandemic is behind Italy because reported new cases are beginning to level off, even as testing continues to increase. The densely populated Po Valley region in Northern Italy has been the most severely impacted region.

Iran has been relatively slow to react to COVID-19. Despite being one of the first nations to report a case of the virus outside of China, the Iranian government only ordered the shutdown of nonessential businesses on March 29, after confirmed cases had already surpassed 35,000. Iran has conducted a total of 550 tests per million people as of March 31. Iran is also rather notewor-

courtesy peter-gamal/pixabay A CGI rendering of the coronavirus with the the world transposed on it, representing the overtake of coronavirus.

thy because roughly eight percent of the Iranian parliament has contracted the disease, which makes it more difficult for parliament members to communicate in a timely manner and pass appropriate legislation. There are, however,some allegations suggesting that Iran is doctoring the statistics.

It is now becoming apparent that some of China’s statistics are somewhat dubious. The Chinese Communist Party (CCP) has released official figures stating that the number of COVID-19 deaths has been approximately 2,500 and that there are almost no new cases. However, seven large funeral homes in Wuhan have each cremated approximately 500 people per day for a week.

If we assume that these seven funeral homes handle the vast majority of cremations, that approximately 5,000 people died of causes not related to COVID-19 and that all bodies were disposed of within this timeframe, some simple math allows us to estimate that a more accurate number for deaths in Wuhan due to COVID-19 is 19,500. Some sources, however, suggest a death toll as high as 46,800. In either case, these figures suggest that the number of infected was substantially higher than the CCP had disclosed.

China silenced the first medical professionals who attempted to warn the world about COVID-19. In February, doctor Li

Wienlang died of the very disease he attempted to inform the public about, but only after he was summoned by state officials and forced to sign a statement denouncing his warnings as preposterous rumor.

In comparison, the United States has lagged behind in testing, having only tested a total of 125 people per million as of March 17. On account of this, actual numbers of infected are likely at least somewhat higher than what is shown by the official data. To compensate for the low number of tests and other preventative measures conducted, the United States must now observe an extended period of social distancing which will persist for at least four more weeks.

However, the mortality rate in the U.S. has been relatively low, at 1.7 percent, according to figures released by Johns Hopkins on March 17. The United States now has more confirmed cases than any other country in the world, and although the Trump administration did initially quickly respond with a travel ban to China’s Hubei province in January, the administration did not use the time in between Wuhan’s outbreak and the United States’s outbreak to prepare for the contingency of COVID-19 becoming as large a pandemic as it is now, which explains why the U.S. has relatively low testing per capita.

The United States, while having more confirmed cases than any other nation, has fortunately been able to avoid a high death rate; the U.S. has seen roughly 26 deaths per million, as compared to 254 deaths per million in Italy, 41 deaths per million in Iran and 2.32 deaths per million in China (although this number is based on figures provided by the CCP, and likely inaccurate).

Scientists research the origins Even though campus is closed, of coronavius and a vaccine The Collegian is still publishing!

courtesy Senior Airman Alexander Cook Medical technician and airman 1st Class Rachel Tucker is one of the members of 56th Medical Group facilitating coronavirus screenings.

Rumors circle around COVID-19, but much is still unknown about the novel virus.

Brooke-Lyne Holland Student Writer COVID-19, also known as the novel coronavirus, is an infectious respiratory illness that attacks the lungs and is spread easily among the public. According to Science Daily, it originated from Wuhan, a city in China and on Dec. 31, Chinese authorities “alerted the World Health Organization” of the virus. They described it as a strain of coronavirus that caused “severe illness” and named it SARS-CoV-2.

Research is still being conducted to find out the source of the virus and its molecular structure. Originally, scientists believed that the virus was transferred from bat meat to a human after purchasing the animal from a seafood market in Wuhan.

transferred to the ground zero patient, says Science Daily. This is what happened with the past coronaviruses like SARS and MERS. According to the World Health Organization, SARS developed in people who consumed civet feces in their coffee that contained the virus. MERS originated in dromedary camels when people came into contact with the infected camels.

Because the virus is very similar to a bat coronavirus, scientists believe that the nonhost animal for COVID-19 was a bat. There is no true evidence of this information, according to Science Daily, but is a strong possibility due to the likeliness of the virus’s genome to past viruses.

The second scenario is that COVID-19 still originated in a non-human host when it was not pathogenic but evolved to its current pathogenic state when it was transferred to a human. In theory, because the virus was not pathogenic at first, it was undetected and circulated among the population until it developed the right molecular shape to infect

“Based on a genomic sequencing analysis on the virus by many scientists ... the virus is not man-made.”

However, according to Science Daily, a study came out on Jan. 25, 2020 that the first person that became ill on Dec. 1 of 2019 never came in contact with the market or anyone who visited it. This opens up many theories on how the virus came in contact with the human population and how it evolved.

Based on a genomic sequencing analysis on the virus by many scientists, including Kristian Andersen, PhD, an associate professor of immunology and microbiology at Scripps Research, the virus is not manmade. They came up with two possible scenarios on how the virus developed and passed to the ground zero patient.

The first scenario is that COVID-19 evolved to its current state through natural selection in a non-human host and then

people easier.

According to Science Daily, the molecular shape is very similar to the bird flu that is easily transferred between humans. However, some factors of COVID-19, like the more virulent cleavage site, has made the virus more easily spread between people which makes it more of a threat to the public.

Research is still being conducted on the virus on how it originated and how to combat it. As of Sunday at 5 p.m., The New York Times tracker states that over 1.2 million people have contracted coronavirus and at least 67,507 people have died from it. There is still no vaccine for the virus but groups of scientists around the world are working every day to fight COVID-19.

Though we are no longer distributing a physical copy on campus, check out our issues digitally on Issuu and our articles online at tucollegian.org.

Consider writing for us! We pay $10 per article, $10 per graphic and $5 per photo. For more information, email us at tucollegian@tucollegian.org.

News

The Collegian: 4

6 April 2020

11:50 a.m.

Officers received a report from Housing officials of marijuana in an apartment in University Square West. Officers conducted a search of the residence and located marijuana, drug paraphernalia, and alcohol. Officers impounded the contraband for destruction.

March 19 3:45 a.m.

Officers responded to a report of attempted larceny at the University Square West Apartments. Officers were unable to locate the suspect but located footprints on the Kendall Whittier side suggesting the suspect left the area.

3:15 p.m.

A member of the Kappa Sigma Fraternity contacted Campus Security about missing property from the Kappa Sigma House. Officers received an electronic statement and video surveillance footage of the suspect who took the property.

The investigation is ongoing.

March 20 3:15 a.m.

Officers observed two individuals engaged in a verbal dispute in the Lorton Village Apartments parking lot. Officers made contact with the individuals and determined they were not affiliated with the University but were visiting a friend.

Both individuals left campus without further incident.

March 21 1:30 a.m.

Officers observed an intoxicated student with an open alcohol container walking in the street near the University Methodist Church Lot. Officers determined the student was not of legal age to consume or possess alcohol and escorted them to their residence.

1:30 a.m.

Officers conducted a search of an apartment in University Square West for contraband. Officers located paraphernalia and alcohol in possession of the underage residents. Officers took possession of the paraphernalia and the alcohol was disposed of.

March 22 6:11 p.m.

Officers were made aware of a threatening email sent by a student to another student. Officers determined the suspect is not on campus at this time and the matter has been referred to Student Affairs.

March 23 6:20 p.m.

An individual contacted Campus Security to file a complaint on a student. The individual informed Officers that the student has caused a disturbance on multiple occasions due to the loud exhaust on their vehicle. Officers also advised the individual to file a report online with Tulsa Police about the incident.

March 27 9:50 p.m.

During a routine building check, Officers noticed a TV missing from a 3rd floor wall in Helmerich Hall and are awaiting follow-up with building staff to determine if they took it down.

March 28 6:40 p.m.

Officers responded to a fire alarm at the Sigma Nu Fraternity House. Upon arrival officers met with a TU student who informed us that they were cooking and burnt the food. The Tulsa Fire Department was cancelled and the fire panel was reset.

March 29 7:30 p.m.

On 30 Mar 2020, Officers took a report of indecent exposure to a student on 29 Mar 2020 at 6th St. & Delaware Ave. Students were taking pictures when they saw the suspect slowly drive by with his pants down and exposing his genitals before driving off campus. The student declined to file a report with Tulsa Police at this time and officers will watch for the vehicle if it returns to campus.

March 31 1:25 a.m.

Officers were conducting apartment security checks and discovered an apartment unlocked in Lorton Village. Officers made contact with the resident who wasn’t on the current approved list to stay on campus. Officers advised the resident to contact housing in order to maintain their residence on campus.

11:55 a.m.

Officers made contact with a student in Mabee Gym and determined the student did not have permission to be in the building, and escorted them out. Officers informed the student to contact Campus Security if they need to gain access to buildings on campus in the future.

4 p.m.

Officers assisted Housing staff, who were contacting a Norman Village resident to complete required paperwork to stay on campus.

6 p.m.

Officers discovered students in the Hurricane Track/Soccer Stadium without authorization and escorted them out.

April 1 1:25 a.m.

Officers were conducting apartment security checks and discovered an apartment unlocked in Brown Village. Officers made contact with the resident who wasn’t approved to stay on campus and advised them to contact housing for approval to reside on campus.

9:20 a.m.

Officers responded to McFarlin Library in regards to a student being in the computer lab since the lab is closed due to COVID-19 and the student was escorted out.

April 2 11:40 a.m.

Officers interviewed a student regarding unauthorized access into the Sigma Nu house on campus. The student was advised access is not allowed into the fraternity house at this time. The student collected remaining personal items and the fraternity house was secured.

The Collegian does not produce or edit the Campus Crime Watch except for content and brevity.

All coronavirus updates are taken from the utulsa.edu/archive/coronavirus-updates website. The email updates are in reverse chronological order and the date at the top of the updates reflects the date the updates were sent. Updates were not edited except for brevity.

Chris Lierly Commentary Editor Lindsey Prather Staff Writer US promises to lift Venezuela sanctions, outlines plan for government transition The United States announced it will lift economic sanctions on Venezuela if both Nicolas Maduro and opposition leader Juan Guaidó agree to step aside and cede executive power to a five-person governing council during a transitionary period. The plan comes after Guaidó, who 60 countries recognize as the rightful leader of Venezuela, proposed a similar offer over the weekend.

The plan would allow the current military high command, the body that normally mediates political disputes in the country, in office until at least the presidential and parliamentary elections that the plan would schedule 6-12 months from its formal acceptance.

The five-person governing council until then would include four members from the National Assembly and an interim president as the fifth member and would need a twothirds majority to make decisions. Neither Maduro nor Guaidó would be on the council but the U.S. plan would allow Guaidó to run for president in the eventual elections.

Pakistan overturns 18-year-old conviction of man who killed WSJ reporter

In 2002, Ahmed Omar Saeed Sheikh was found guilty of murdering Wall Street Journal Reporter Daniel Pearl. On Thursday, that conviction was overturned by the Sindh province court, a court that has already overturned the convictions of three others convicted in the same case. The court instead charged Saeed with the kidnapping of Pearl, a crime carrying a seven-year prison sentence: a penalty that, with Saeed’s 18-year stint on death row, means the British Pakastani man would walk free barring a government appeal. However, a government prosecutor said they do intend to make an appeal to the Pakistani Supreme Court to reinstate the original conviction.

Pearl was kidnapped while investigating connections between Pakastani militants and Richard Reid, the man eventually known as “the shoe-bomber.” Prosecutors at the time said Saeed lured Pearl into a trap promising a lead on his story before kidnapping and beheading Pearl. The Committee to Protect Journalists issued a statement stating that they were “deeply disappointed to see justice in the murder case of Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl denied by a Pakistani court.”

Two dead in France after knife attack prompts terror inquiry French authorities have officially opened a terror investigation following a knife attack on April 4, which left two dead and five wounded. The attack took place in the southeast region of France, at a small shop located in Romans-sur-Isère, near the city of Lyon. The attacker entered the store, stabbing the owners and a customer, then continued to attack bystanders until police arrived. The man was apprehended by French authorities while kneeling in prayer on the pavement at the scene of the attack. At least two others have been arrested in connection with the attack, which was perpetrated by a 30-year-old Sudanese refugee.

The man was not previously known by French authorities, however, a search of his home indicated religious radicalization, which motivated the attack. He was taken into custody on charges of assassination, attempted assassination in connection with a terrorist enterprise as well as criminal terrorist association. These charges were announced under the French government’s “high terror alert” declaration; France initiated this high alert status in 2015 following a series of attacks by the Islamic State in 2015.

Thursday, April 2 Employee news and updates In accordance with Tulsa Mayor G.T. Bynum’s Safer at Home Order that now extends through April 30, employees who are able to work remotely should remain off campus unless absolutely necessary. TU staff members who report to work for minimal campus operations and anyone who visits campus must take their temperature twice daily (once in the morning and once in the evening). If you have an elevated temperature or feel ill, please remain at home and notify your supervisor. Faculty and staff should also contact Laurie Paul at Hurricane Health Clinic at 918-631-2974 for further evaluation and advisement if their temperature is elevated.

Wednesday, April 1 Commencement Postponed I am sad to share with you the news that The University of Tulsa’s 145th Commencement on May 9 will be postponed due to the coronavirus pandemic.

We polled students to ask how best to honor and celebrate this year’s graduates given our current challenges. You told us that you are not interested in a virtual commencement. You also told us that you don’t want commencement canceled; you want it postponed. The majority of respondents were in favor of rescheduling it for October, perhaps tied to TU Homecoming. There was also support for a summer ceremony, if the COVID-19 threat lifts by then. We will explore alternatives and will keep you informed.

Meanwhile, the faculty, administration, Alumni Association and Student Association will find another way to recognize those of you completing your degrees in May. We may not be able to replicate the pomp and circumstance of a traditional TU commencement, but we will not let this milestone go unnoted.

Wednesday, April 1 Keep Learning Website, Internet Connectivity and More!

We still see some areas where we might be able to address shifting concerns. As such, we welcome you to visit a new website landing page dedicated entirely to you and your personal support team: https://keeplearning.utulsa.edu/. We promise to keep the webpage fresh and timely as we will continue to listen to YOU. We are honored to address YOUR NEEDS/WANTS. Your success is our success.

Monday, March 30 Student news and updates In response to the latest developments in the COVID-19 pandemic, TU has updated its policy and now requires students, faculty and staff to self-quarantine off campus and record their temperature twice daily for at least 14 days after traveling outside the state.

Those returning from travel abroad or on board a cruise ship also must be screened through a call with Alexander Health Center (students) or Hurricane Health Clinic (employees) before stepping onto campus. Information on TU’s travel policy as well as full COVID-19 response details are available online.

All outdoor sports courts on the TU campus are closed until further notice. The green spaces are still open for enjoying outdoor activity as long as individuals practice safe social distancing.

Wednesday, March 25 Employee News and Updates As part of our effort to reduce the spread of coronavirus, all employees who are not reporting to work for minimal campus operations should check in and out when visiting campus buildings. In order to make this process more convenient, simply visit https:// utulsa.edu/check from your smartphone or laptop to submit the time you enter and exit the premises. You will log in with your TU user ID and password. On your first visit to the site, you may need to go through several prompts to enter your TU credentials. If you have questions or would prefer to check in by calling Campus Security, please dial 918-631-5555.

The Collegian does not produce all event descriptions in the Community Calendar.

Contact us at news@tucollegian.org with events.

6 April 2020

Commentary

The Collegian: 5

Virtual commencement most inclusive option for TU place. Numerous other colleges and universities across the globe had already made this call, and I honestly was wondering why it was taking so long for TU to follow suit.

What I was a bit taken aback, and truthfully extremely upset by, was the spring 2020 senior class’s decision to postpone the commencement ceremony to sometime in the fall of this year.

Postponing commencement for a later date doesn’t help those who cannot attend.

Tori Gellman Student Writer The coronavirus is impacting all of our lives in ways for which we hadn’t expected or prepared. Though obviously the most important thing right now is for everyone to practice social distancing and stay home in order to flatten the curve, it is not unnoteworthy that individuals celebrating milestones around the world are having to rethink and reschedule their celebrations. One such celebration is college graduation.

It came as no surprise to me when Wednesday, April 1, Interim President Janet Levit emailed students informing them that the May 9 commencement would not take

dates to vote for, ranging from summer 2020 to May 2021. Levit’s April 1 email stated that students were “not interested in a virtual commencement” and that “the majority of respondents were in favor of rescheduling it for October; perhaps tied to TU homecoming.”

For a university that is constantly boasting about its diverse student base and prides

“... in regard to graduation, the vote led to an unfair decision.”

My first issue is with the entire way this decision was reached. The administration at the University of Tulsa had sent out a survey link to students with which they could vote as to how they would like commencement to proceed given the current global pandemic.

It is the administration’s job to make these kinds of decisions, not the students’. I understand the desire to give the students a say, particularly after all of backlash of the True Commitment rollout. However, I think in regard to graduation, the vote led to an unfair decision.

Though I disagree with the misplacement of the decision making process, I did fill out the survey. The options on the survey started with a postponed in-person ceremony or a virtual one. Then you were taken to a list of

itself on the fact that its students come from so many different states and countries, it strikes me as cruel irony that the administration would not take into account that many graduating seniors will not be able to return to TU at the drop of a hat for a postponed commencement ceremony. Many May 2020 graduates will already be pursuing further education in graduate and PhD programs come October, and won’t have the financial resources, nor time, to make the trip back to Tulsa. And that’s just talking about students within the United States. What about our international students?

I noticed a lot of strong opinions regarding what to do about graduation circulating on social media, and it really only fueled my anger. In a Zoom meeting I attended last

weekend for a TU organization, a fellow graduating senior said that if “anyone votes for online graduation, you are dead to me.”

Students on Twitter were creating their own polls in which all of the options were a postponed commencement ceremony; eliminating the idea of a virtual one altogether. I find all of this to be incredibly selfish.

I understand that a large portion of the senior class resides in and around Tulsa full time, but graduation is about every single person who completed their studies and earned their degree. And a large batch of students who would have walked across the stage on May 9 won’t be able to do so in October.

I understand that a virtual graduation doesn’t come with the same level of exciting pomp and circumstance. I too am disappointed that my family won’t be able to see me in my cap and gown and cheer me on from the seats of the Reynolds Center this spring. But I am also incredibly aware that commencement is about far more than just me, and a virtual ceremony was the most inclusive choice given our vast array of students. Seeing as how nothing has yet been scheduled, I would urge administration to reconsider how they intend to proceed with commencement, and take into account the diversity of our graduating class in order to make sure each and every senior has the opportunity to fully celebrate their tremendous accomplishments.

Virus relief bill fails families with dependent college students

A loophole in the multi-trillion dollar stimulus package needs to be addressed.

Hannah Robbins Student Writer When President Trump finally passed and signed the coronavirus stimulus package,

there was one thing on my mind: what can I do with my $1,200 check? Unfortunately, I forgot to read the fine print that screws me out of my money. You see, as a full-time student over the age of 17 claimed by her parents as a dependent, I miss out on my $1,200 check and both my parents miss out on the $500 given to all claiming dependents 16 and younger.

What gives, U.S. government, you may ask? It’s pretty simple: the government is cheap and doesn’t want to give money, but it still wants to have good PR in these trying times. And for this, they manipulate tax law (glad we elected a bunch of lawyers to our government now, huh?). On the surface, it looks like most people will get relief as the number of unemployed people grow, but that isn’t what a government wants, especially one that’s already in debt. They want a way to seem to be doing the most while spending the least.

You see, there are some asterisks under

that “every American gets $1,200.” People that qualify must make under $75k a year, then subtract $50 for every thousand you make on top of that. So, if you make $100k, that really sucks, no money for you, unless

it, Congress doesn’t care what people do to get ahead. It only wants to make things look good.

So here we are, broke, still in school, and staring student debt in the face without any

you have dependent children. Then you still get your $500 a kid.

Which all seems great unless you don’t get money and still have a need for it, like, for example, those that are stranded at home without an income but are still held responsible for their college debt. That doesn’t apply to anyone reading this, right?

This means that, although everyone preaches about going to college and doing better for yourself, when it comes down to

help from the government. I really hope that this entire mess gets fixed in the next bill, because there were several other groups, including disabled Americans, that also got loopholed out of money in this bill. As the global pandemic continues to get worse, there is a strong likelihood that more relief is coming. Maybe this time we might actually see some money. I wouldn’t count on it though. Congress is made up of mostly lawyers, after all.

measures and an increase in domestic violence. The National Domestic Violence Hotline confirmed that perpetrators could easily take advantage of social distancing policies to “exert control over their victims.” This doesn’t just mean physical abuse. Domestic violence includes verbal abuse as well as intentional deprivation of basic resources, which in the time of COVID-19 could include toilet paper and hand soap.

Before widespread social distancing went into effect, victims of domestic violence could find periods of solace at work and social engagements. Now, most, if not all, of their time is being spent at home with those committing these acts of violence. This trend was first noticed in France where there has been a reported 36 percent increase in domestic violence since the mandated lockdown. A 75 percent rise in Google searches related to getting help in the midst of domestic violence was reported from Australia. A drop-in center in Brazil has faced a 45 percent increase in visits.

Miriam Berger of The Washington Post states, “on a global scale ..., shortages and shortcomings in service already were a major problem that the pandemic has worsened.” Domestic violence was already a vastly underreported crime, and now we’re seeing just how widespread daily abuse and victimization is. Some countries have taken up more effective measures than are usually in place. France, for instance, is paying for hotel rooms for victims of domestic abuse.

Grocery stores across Europe have implemented the use of secret passwords that victims can say to identify that they are suffering from domestic abuse.

For countries that haven’t outlined extra measures for this serious rise in violence, there is the possibility that victims will seek out safety in shelters and group homes.

These establishments are often already in poor condition and are unsafe without the threat of the coronavirus. Advocates even claim that these sorts of “shelters” are prime candidates for spreading the virus. Addi-

tionally, many individuals who are victims of domestic violence are being cut off from their support systems through the implementation of stay-at-home orders and lockdowns. This makes the feasibility of getting help seem even less possible.

Many organizations designed to combat domestic violence have begun providing additional resources and helplines during this time. There are webinars you can attend for free as well as secure phone numbers which put you in contact with trained advocates. Reach out to your friends and family and make sure that they are taking care of themselves in a multitude of ways.

Assure anyone who is a victim of domestic violence that there are resources and options for them even in the midst of this viral pandemic. Support organizations and nonprofits doing the work to help victims of domestic abuse. In these ways, we can not only begin to flatten the curve of the coronavirus, but also that of domestic abuse.

“... Congress doesn’t care what people do to get ahead. It only wants to make things look good.”

Domestic violence spike a damaging social distancing side effect

Multiple resources exist for those now forced to spend more time with their abusers.

Tori Gellman Student Writer Though social distancing and stay-athome orders are crucial to stopping the spread of the coronavirus, there has been a direct correlation between these protective

Pandemic brings out racism and hate toward Asian-Americans

Trump’s dubbing of the virus as the “Chinese Virus” has only made the situation that much worse.

Tori Gellman Student Writer When the news of the coronavirus first broke, there was a lot of information circulating on the news; some of it was helpful, while a lot of it was xenophobic and ill-intentioned. With COVID-19 spreading across the globe and officially impacting the United States more than even the disease’s country of origin, racist sentiments are at an all-time high. Just within the past week, a restaurant in Yakima, Washington had its windows broken and racist slurs were spray-

painted across the front doors. In Seattle, a Filipino man was beaten and harassed on the street.

When New York had its first confirmed case of the coronavirus, several newspapers ran articles with pictures of Asians, even though the infected individual had traveled from Iran, where she was suspected of contracting the virus. A group of U.S. veterans in San Francisco have charged themselves with patrolling the city’s Chinatown in attempts to prevent hate crimes. The FBI is investigating an incident in Texas where a family from Burma was repeatedly stabbed by a man who blamed them for the coronavirus. The Asian Pacific Policy and Planning Council reported over 700 complaints of assaults and harassment of Asian Americans — all linked to the coronavirus.

I’d like to say I’m surprised by the way Americans are reacting in the midst of this pandemic, but unfortunately I am not. How can anyone be surprised at these hate crimes and racial slurs when our own President has dubbed COVID-19 “The Chinese Virus”?

It’s been made clearer than ever before that we cannot look to our leaders and politicians for guidance. There has been a gross level of negligence on behalf of President Trump, starting with his axing of the government’s pandemic response team.

Lisa Wool-Rim Sjöblom, a Korean artist, has begun illustrating the impact of coronavirus related racism on the Asian American community. She also picked up the hashtag #IAmNotAVirus, originating in France, in an attempt to bring more attention to the impacts that this virus is having other than its obvious medical toll. She rightly points out

does. This is a time for the people of the United States, and the rest of the world, to take up the mantle and preach love and not hate. This is a time for unity and togetherness. No one group of people is responsible for this virus, but it is up to all of us to prevent further spreading, infection and death.

UNICEF created a list of suggestions for

“... these sorts of xenophobic statements and sentiments are not new, but rather amplified ...” that these sorts of xenophobic statements and sentiments are not new, but rather amplified by the current state of the world. Sjöblom also disclosed that she and her partner sat down with her son in order to warn him of the possibility of being bullied and accosted at school and in public.

A college student from Singapore, Jonathan Mok, reported being kicked and punched on the streets. He later posted images of his sustained injuries with the caption “Racism is not stupidity — racism is hate.” The world is in a state of panic, and that panic is accompanied by deep-seeded fears. However, it is unacceptable to let those fears manifest as hatred and discrimination, despite what our president says or

how to combat xenophobia in your community. The list includes celebrating other cultures, reporting attacks and intervening if it is safe to do so and calling out bigotry and hate speech. Helen Zia, in an article for The New York Times called state and local leaders to action, suggesting that they follow in the footsteps of the governors of New York and California, who have taken extra measures to protect all of their citizens. Writers across numerous publications urge individuals to speak out against hateful speech and negative racial associations with the coronavirus and to check in on people in your life who may be suffering because of the spread of misinformation and hatred.

The Collegian: 6

Variety

6 April 2020

The Weeknd infuses storytelling in “After Hours” The R&B artist’s new album mixes impressive vocals with upbeat and dream-like techno beats.

Nora Bethune Student Writer With the coronavirus forcing people into quarantine and isolation, the cards couldn’t have fallen more into place for The Weeknd.

With the boredom that comes with staying in the house, The Weeknd decided to bless the world with 14 songs coming out to 56 minutes in his new album “After Hours.”

This is The Weeknd’s new full-length album two years after his previous work, “My Dear Melancholy.”

I’ve always admired The Weeknd’s work.

I consider myself to be an R&B fan, and The Weeknd has always been able to deliver unique vocals with songs that fit his sound while simultaneously not sounding mainstream. “My Dear Melancholy” was a bit of a let down especially following the release of his album “Starboy,” which is one of my favorite albums of all time. But I went into “After Hours” with open ears, excited to hear what The Weeknd would deliver this time around.

The Weeknd starting the album with the distant sound of “Alone Again” was an excellent choice. He has always been able to draw me in with his voice and that, combined with an almost abstract opener, had me primed and ready for the rest of the album.

Following “Alone Again” with “Too Late” makes the distant and dream-like sound into a whole journey. In “Too Late,” The Weeknd talks about the mistakes he’s made and how it’s too late to make up for it.

However, I really couldn’t see myself listening to it outside the context of the album.

“Too Late” just seems like a lesser reiteration of “Alone Again.”

“Hardest To Love”and “Faith” gave me the same feeling as some of the more upbeat tracks on The Weeknd’s earlier album,“Starboy.”I enjoyed listening to these

songs — they almost feel like a break from the rest of the album. My favorite moment was in “Hardest To Love,” when at the beginning of the chorus,everything else drops out, leaving only The Weeknd’s voice.

I feel like The Weeknd has always had trouble making all the songs on an album

the album started to lose momentum after this; “Snowchild” goes on for too long, and I got bored, especially following “Scared To Live.” I was especially let down by “Escape from LA.” I heard many good things about this song specifically, but it didn’t seem all that special to me.

courtesy XO and Republic Records The Weeknd released “After Hours” on March 20, following his last studio album, “Starboy,” by four years.

concise in terms of storytelling. He has always had songs under a common theme, but lacked a story complete with transitions.

But already into this album, I felt like I was getting a story and a common theme.

“Scared To Live” is a song that I enjoyed from beginning to end. The Weeknd’s voice is really fit for sustaining notes. However,

After those two tracks, I was beginning to lose faith in the album. But then “Heartless” came on. From the start, the beat drew me in. Then The Weeknd came in and started delivering his signature flow, and the bridge on this track is incredible. This song grabbed my attention back into the album.

Going from the fast and intense delivery to

the dream-like chorus similar to the beginning of the album made it one of my favorite tracks on the album.

“Blinding Lights” was another song that reminded me of “Starboy.” This song has a more techno feel, a sound that fits The Weeknd so well. His vocal performance adds so much imagery and color to this song. “Blinding Lights” reminds me of disco and roller skating with neon lights.

“Blinding Lights” is followed by another techno disco sound with “In Your Eyes.”

These two songs are like a pair and tell a story. I imagine the blinding lights being the eyes that he describes in the song. The outro is one of the best outros complete with the breakdown and the repetition of the phrase “your eyes.” Even though the songs are connected, I could see myself listening to either outside of the context of the album.

Continuing the eyes theme, “Save Your Tears” extends this techno feel. This song also has the same vibe as the previous tracks with an addictive beat. These lyrics are almost the opposite of “Alone Again” and “Too Late.” Those two songs were songs seem like apologies, whereas “Save Your Tears” seems more like a goodbye song.

The last three tracks of the album “Repeat After Me,” “After Hours” and “Until I Bleed Out” are a good ending for an album.

Especially since “Until I Bleed Out” has a similar sound to “Alone Again,” the album ended on a high note.

I have conflicted feelings towards this album. Although I love The Weeknd and his sound, I think that I was feeling too bored with this album. Some tracks are repetitive and the second half of the album is immensely better than the first half. It felt like The Weeknd was trying to give listeners “Starboy” but with more R&B tracks from his previous albums. I found myself losing interest in the album after the first track, but I was drawn back in following “Heartless” to the end. I like the sound he was going for with the last half and am excited to see what he will do for his next project.

Performances and tours available for online streaming Streaming on social media: Honey Harper will perform Monday, April 6 at 2 p.m. (CST) on YouTube Melissa Etheridge performs daily at 5 p.m. (CST) on Facebook BlueGrass Band, The Infamous Stringdusters will stream daily at 7 p.m. (CST) on Facebook and Instagram Frankie Cosmos stream performances on Instagram every Friday at 8 p.m. (CST) The Grammy Museum will open their virtual doors to the public with special appearances from the following artists: April 8 - Andrea Bocelli, Matteo Bocelli and Bob Ezrin April 11- Tanya Tucker, Brandi Carlile and Shooter Jennings April 13 - Common April 15 - Alice Merton April 18 - Los Tigres del Norte April 20 - Richard Marx

April 22 - Courtney Barnett April 27- Sabrina Carpenter April 29 - Brett Young April 10 - “Coachella: 20 Years in the Desert” The Royal Opera House in London, England: They will be streaming archived performances on their Facebook page and YouTube Channel, as well as on the radio, TV and online thanks to their partnership with BBC. This will take place on the following dates at 1 p.m. Central Time.

Aside from this, the Royal Opera House is giving virtual tours and behind the scenes tours of the attraction. They also have archive virtual tours on their website.

Friday, April 10 - Mozart’s “Così fan tutte” (The Royal Opera) Friday, April 17 - Pita’s “The Metamorphosis” (The Royal Ballet)

Friday, April 24 - Britten’s “Gloriana” (The Royal Opera) Friday, May 1- Wheeldon’s “The Winter’s Tale” (The Royal Opera) Museums offering virtual tours: The Art Institute of Chicago (Chicago, IL) Detroit Institute of Arts (Detroit, MI) Georgia O’Keeffe Museum (Santa Fe, NM) The J. Paul Getty Museum (Los Angeles, CA) The Metropolitan Museum of Art (New York, NY) Museum of Modern Art (New York, NY) Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum (New York, NY) La Galleria Nazionale (Rome, Italy) Musée d’Orsay (Paris, France) Rijksmuseum (Amsterdam, Netherlands) Tate Britain (London, England) Uffizi Gallery (Florence, Italy)

National Museum (New Delhi, India) Museo Frida Kahlo (Mexico City, Mexico) Wiener Staatsoper, Austrian Opera House (www.staatsoperlive.com) This wonderful opera house has opened their doors to the public through the use of live streaming their productions: April 6 - “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” April 7 - “Das schlaue Füschslein” April 8 - “Ariodante” April 9, April 12 - “Parsifal” April 11- “Die Feen (Fassung für Kinder)” April 11- “Sylvia” April 13 - “Der Rosenkavalier”

compiled by Karelia Alexander

If you’re feeling ornery: If you’re feeling stir-crazy: If you’re feeling adventurous:

courtesy Little, Brown and Company courtesy Viking

Tori Gellman Student Writer Attention all book lovers: We’re going classic this week!

AND with the coronavirus and social distancing in mind, all of this week’s recommendations are available for free online!

This novel is so expansive. It’s full of beautiful imagery that’ll help you out if you’re desperately missing the outdoors right about now. Above all, though, this is a story of family. A lot of my friends told me that they read “Grapes of Wrath” in high school instead of “East of Eden.” Having read both, I’m making the case for the latter.

I love everything I’ve read by Steinbeck; for some reason I’ve tackled all of his longer works, rather than his shorter, more manageable novels. But much like “One Hundred Years of Solitude,” I find that the payoff with this book is immense and that the feelings you’ll have towards each of their characters will be tested numerous times.

courtesy Harper Perennial Modern Classics

This book is not for the faint of heart. It’s nonlinear in construction, there are tons of characters, many with the same name and there is plot twist after plot twist. All that being said, this is without a doubt one of the most rewarding books I have ever read in my life. Gabriel García Márquez is a literary master, and none of his work shows this as much as “One Hundred Years of Solitude.”

The dynamic plot and the descriptive surroundings make this an excellent quarantine read.

Confession: this is my favorite book of all time. I am constantly both praised and harangued for this, but I honestly don’t care.

I love J. D. Salinger (I also highly recommend all of his other work), and I love Holden Caulfield. This book is extremely easy to plow through as it’s written as a stream of consciousness of one character’s point of view. Holden is often written off as angsty and entitled, and I don’t disagree. However, while that bothers some people, to me it just adds to the charm of the novel. Also, why shouldn’t he be angsty? He’s a teenager for goodness sake! If you weren’t required to read this in high school, and honestly even if you were, I highly recommend checking out this objective classic.

6 April 2020

Variety

The Collegian: 7

courtesy Asthmatic Kitty Records

“Aporia” poorly timed and unsatisfying release The indie rock artist’s new album is cinematic but pointlessly optimistic for listeners in a bleak time.

Emma Palmer Graphics Editor “Aporia” is not what I need right now.

I’ll be square with you, I only like Sufjan Stevens some of the time. I loved “Carrie and Lowell,” but I still can’t make it all the way through “Silver and Gold.” Unfortunately, Stevens’s most recent album, “Aporia” falls into the latter category. I guess that is to say, if I’m honest, “Aporia” is a bit of a dissapointment. Taking the work on its own merit is something I can’t do when it’s being created by an indie rock God like Sufjan.

Is it something I’ll listen to while studying? Maybe. Something I’ll listen to for literally anything else? Not really.

“Aporia” is a collaborative work between Stevens and his stepfather, Lowell Brams. While being presented as an album,

the work is more of an accumulation of jam sessions between the two. One of the influences Stevens cited for the album were movie soundtracks. Listening to it reminded me of one of my favorites, the soundtrack to the film “Tron: Legacy,” composed by Daft Punk. While the movie is no good, the album still holds up.

it, it feels redundant. The purpose of a film soundtrack is to tell a story that supports the main event: the film. Without the thesis of a film, one might question whether “Aporia” ought to exist.

There’s this fear that I always hold with artists whose work I admire, where as they grow and mature, finding happiness or peace

“‘Ahoria’ is cinematic, but without the film to match it, it feels redundant.”

“Aporia” is new age music, it’s more of a soundscape that invites you in than an album that conveys something to you. Songs range from 30 seconds to about three minutes in length, and, since there’s not really any singing, they blend into one another.

As they do, I imagine the likes of Harrison Ford or Ellen Ripley fighting off some aliens or vanishing in rainy alleys. “Aporia” is cinematic, but without the film to match

or whatnot, their work diminishes. It’s a complex issue that can be a slippery slope of idealizing mental illness and depressive tendencies, but sad songs have never been abrasive to me. Those works that come from the darkest places always hit deeper, because they come from a place that I am familiar with. This is the case with Sufjan for me, songs like “The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades Is Out to Get Us!” or “Flint”

have a certain rawness that appeals to me.

They feel lived in in a way that “Aporia” never does.

It’s been a rough month. Days are blending together and the sky feels strange most of the time. So this little album, which is truthfully more of a wall full of polaroids that point to jam sessions between a stepfather and step son, seems like it should be uplifting. Too bad it feels like a Band-Aid with meandering purpose.

Of course, I would be loath to say that this review is anything other than subjective. The difference between a positive and negative review for most critics can simply be the difference in mood. I just passed the three-week mark of quarantine. In a different age where COVID-19 wasn’t so uprooting, I might have been more receptive to “Aporia.” As it stands, consuming media has become tiring. I’m pulled to old comforts. My reaction to “Aporia” I think, is a case of that classic adage “It’s not you, it’s me.”

Passion project “Aporia” needs to be met on its own terms Sufjan Stevens’s newest album demonstrates the artist’s artistic freedom in its meandering themes and sounds.

Ethan Veenker Editor-in-Chief The way the art “industry” tends to go, everyone starts out releasing only their best and greatest stuff in an effort to make their bread and make a name. Only when they’re a successful household name can they begin releasing anything they want with an earnest, positive wave of feedback from dedicated fans. Bob Dylan couldn’t have released 15 volumes of live bootleg recordings back in the ‘60s, but he can (and does) now. In much the same way, Sufjan Stevens couldn’t have released “Aporia” 15 years ago. He seems to have known this, and there’s no real indication that he ever intended to do so. But he released it this year.

Calling “Aporia” a venture of Stevens alone is somewhat unfair. It was actually released under Stevens’s name along with Lowell Brams, Stevens’s stepfather growing up, the same Lowell referenced in Stevens’s 2015 “Carrie & Lowell” who not only introduced the young Stevens to the music and the gear that would make his career a reality, but who also founded Asthmatic Kitty Records, the label under which all of Stevens’s music has been released thus far. The record also features performances from The National’s James Mcalister and, strangely, SUNN O)))’s keyboardist/trombonist Steve Moore, among a few others, though I honestly wouldn’t have been able to tell without addressing the record’s media blurb.

Despite this cast of characters behind the synths, the project is primarily a venture of Stevens and Brams.

I enjoy “Aporia,” and not just because I’m a maniac for Stevens’s music (2010’s “The Age of Adz” is quite literally my favorite record of all time). It does, however, subvert the general method through which a lot of people enjoy music (he said, without any statistics to back up his claim). That is, aesthetic distance: the ability, more or less, to enjoy a work of art on its own merits without having to get too close to the artist’s intentions or methodology (to oversimplify the concept). In fact, the record doesn’t subvert this maxim — it just exists, one way or the other — but I think in order to truly appreciate it the way Stevens and Brams do, the listener has to subvert that idea. This isn’t a terribly complex record (it can be frustratingly simple, in fact), but some context gives it a more memorable presence.

And there’s the catch: seeing this record the same way that Stevens and Brams do.

As I alluded above, there’s no indication that Stevens ever intended for this project to really see the light of day. It was not recorded in a studio sometime last year and edited down for commercial success. In fact, it’s culled from impromptu jam seshes

that Stevens and Brams shared at various junctures in the last decade. Brams recently announced his retirement from the music industry, and the general idea seems to be that this is his way of going out “with a bang.”

Chiefly, though, this record is a symbolic father-son venture. While Stevens and Brams have collaborated on similar projects before (see Brams’s 2009 “Music for Insomnia”), this is the first time they’ve released something under both of their names. It’s a love letter to the music they both love and to each other.

It’s understandably difficult for the listener to inhabit the odd relationship between two perfect strangers in order to better appreciate their art. There’s no real reason to do it. There’s no payoff except a slightly greater appreciation for a middling album in Stevens’s discography. The conceit of this review is that I was willing to do that, and I do think I’ve gained a better appreciation for

Red Desert” may extend these maternal references in its similarity to the title of Michaelangelo Antonioni’s 1965 film “Red Desert,” about the acute familial struggles of an Italian mother, or it could reference the Red Desert in Wyoming, the state where Asthmatic Kitty is based, or it could mean something else entirely. Another track, “Eudaimonia,” is named for a Greek word translating roughly to “blessedness” and features a harmonic synth swell in which the influence of Vangelis (famed composer of the “Blade Runner” soundtrack) rears its head, not for the first or last time in the record’s 42-minute runtime. The record’s closer, “The Lydian Ring,” is perhaps a reference to the Plato-surmised Ring of Gyges, a mythological artifact that can turn its wearer invisible. The song is pure musical confusion before ascending into Vangelisesque harmony, and as quickly as it comes, it’s gone, and the record ends.

“The record is best characterized through its prickly, electronic wisps of sound.” this record which has, so far, been receiving rather negative reviews, where Stevens’s music is used to the hallowed year-end lists.

But this album wasn’t made for those lists. It wasn’t even made for you. This is a passion project through-and-through, just like last year’s “The Decalogue,” named for the Ten Commandments and consisting of 10 piano compositions and on which Stevens didn’t even perform (that would be Timo Andres at the bench). The compositions were from Stevens’s musical accompaniment to a 2017 avant-garde ballet. Even the most hardcore fans had difficulty parsing out any familiar Stevens sound in the idiosyncratic piano music, and the record didn’t do well critically as a result. It shows the mindset under which Stevens is now releasing music: his passion projects are coming through. Things that seem to interest only him or people like me, who will spend however much money each time to own it because it has his name on the cover. There’s nothing inherently wrong with this; it’s just where he is in his career right now. He doesn’t even care about my lukewarm defense of “Aporia,” and he doesn’t need to.

The record is best characterized through its prickly, electronic wisps of sound. Its release was billed as a modern “new age” recording, and many of the 21 tracks serve as buffers between the record’s more musically complex crescendos. Five or six of the tracks stand out in memory, and the rest serve as mere paths to get there.

The track titles are as unique as Stevens’s ever are: the jingly, 30-second “For Raymond Scott” references a grandfather of electronic music; “Matronymic,” a word referring to a name derived from one’s mother, could reference Stevens’s well-documented issues with his schizophrenic mother and the origin of his unique name, Sufjan; “The

The five or six aforementioned highlights are as follows: “What It Takes” is one of the few songs that features a vocal choir and is probably Stevens’s most studiocomplex work since “The Age of Adz”; “Agathon” (an Athenian tragedian) features a cool groove almost reminiscent of “old school” hip hop’s more ethereal whims (not to mention a noodly little synth solo); “Misology” (meaning the hatred of reason and discourse) is one of the spots on the record where the synths descend into heavy darkness and acts as a sort of intro to “Afterworld Alliance,” in which tight keys drift over an echoey, overcooked beat; this theme of minor-key darkness continues until “Glorious You,” perhaps a reference to God from the ever-pious Stevens, which sees a partial parting of the clouds, as it were; “The Runaround” is the musical core and apotheosis of the project, featuring an unhurried buildup, some electric swaying, then a sudden interpolation of Stevens’s vocals, just two verses, but the only clear vocals in the entire record; “Climb That Mountain” and “Captain Praxis” continue this strong point, the former featuring more choir-singing over a snare beat and the latter mixing apparent influences from video game soundtracks and bass lines from ‘80s hits.

If it isn’t clear by now, the record is primarily instrumental. The human voice acts sometimes as a melodic instrument of its own, but clear vocals appear only once (in the aforementioned “The Runaround”).

Stevens is no stranger to heavily electronic work. “The Age of Adz” is notable for its incredibly “glitchy” production and marked a significant departure from 2005’s folky “Illinois,” but it wasn’t unprecedented. Stevens’s sophomore release, 2001’s “Enjoy Your Rabbit,” is a near 80-minute electronic opera, replete with glitches and crescendos

and references to the Chinese Zodiac. It is by no means easy listening and is not usually a favorite in any Stevens fan’s ranking of his music. It’s also more interesting listening than “Aporia,” and therein lies the main flaw in the latter.

“Aporia,” while certainly an interesting project and an emotional story of paternal love if one defies aesthetic distance, is far from musically interesting. There are the high points I have mentioned above, but that only covers about a third of the record’s songs (not including my rundown of the unique names). As I’ve said, most of the songs here are mere buffers between these moments of musical complexity. It’s a quiet, meditative album with few reasons to dance or obvious moments of catharsis (except, I’d argue, for Stevens’s vocal interpolation in “The Runaround,” which is one of his best songs in years). This was never destined to be a hit, and it’s difficult to love.

The only way to really like it is to give it more attention than most people usually do a new release. Who has time to read about a record’s conception? Who has time to look up the definitions of the words in each title?

Who has time to sit still for 42 minutes and just get lost in the quasi-ambient nature of the music? Very few, though its release during a time of international isolation is somewhat serendipitous.

“Be grateful for luck. Pay the thunder no mind. Listen to the birds. And don’t hate nobody.” So reads a sort of epigraph to the record on its rear cover, attributed to jazz composer Eubie Blake. It’s an interesting way to supplement an album that has a fair amount of musical darkness. The title, too, is interesting: the media blurb defines “Aporia” as “an irresolvable contradiction,” while on his own blog Stevens defined it as “the state of being at a loss.” Neither is a happy album title, and one wonders why Stevens would name such a passionate project with his stepfather after such a confusing, ambivalent word. The themes of the record, too, are unclear at times: Christian theology and Greek antiquity butt heads, and there are no lyrics to help us parse things out. A dedication just under the Blake quote, however, reveals the bread and butter of the release: “In memory: Michael Brams and Carrie M.,” the former presumably being a relation of Brams’s, perhaps his father, and the latter most likely being Stevens’s late mother, whom he has already immortalized in “Carrie & Lowell.” This album, confusing and difficult to appreciate as it may be, is a family matter at heart. It was released and sold across the world, but it wasn’t really meant for us.

Imagine, instead, that you’re a creep, standing and shivering outside the Stevens household on a cold winter’s night, looking in on a tender, firelit scene of fatherly love and musical awakening. It takes on a new, pleasant shade, even if you can barely understand it.

The Collegian: 8

The State-Run Media

6 April 2020

Hannah’s declassified home survival guide

Tip three will get you through social distancing guaranteed.

Hannah Robbins Completely naked rn

As campus rules get more strict with who can come and go and more students are stuck at home away from campus, many are missing the great deal of what the University of Tulsa had to offer. From frat parties to amazing caf food, there are so many things that are unique to an on-campus experience.

While impossible to completely replicate the TU experience, I have a few tips that will make your house feel a little more like campus and a little less like you’re 12 again.

1. Lime to class Everyone knows that the only way to get to classes on time is to rush out of your room with about five minutes to spare, grab a lime and race to add yours to the growing pile outside of Kep. This doesn’t have to change.

While nowadays you’re more likely to be late if your internet screws you over, racing from your bedroom to your living room for class on a Razor scooter from your childhood (my personal favorite analog Lime) will have to do for now.

2. Wear What You Want With our on-campus schedules, most students tended to ignore the whole “wake up in the morning thing” — so obviously that won’t change at home — but a personal favorite for some students is the ability to wear whatever they so desire to classes and

around campus. For most this simply means sweats (and in the era of social distancing, PJs), but I challenge everyone to instead just walk around their home, or at least their room naked. Why create more laundry when no one is going to see you? No one has to turn on their Collaborate camera after all.

3. Whata Runs Are Still a Go A popular way for TU students to destress or try in vain to avoid working for another three hours is to visit Whataburger or one of the other several fast food restaurants that are (almost) always open (love you Tacos Don). So, while going and eating in isn’t feasible anymore, it’s super easy to just DoorDash them right to your home for the 2 a.m. snack you need. Just be sure not to wake your parents, they might not be as happy about that one.

4. Hide Your Alcohol, It’s the Surprise Room Inspection From Your RA (Resident Adult) One thing most TU students dread is the surprise room inspection. Since we’re all basically living in our lovely bedroom dorms, we still get that shot of adrenaline when our parents walk into our room to “tidy up” and accidentally find our stash of shot glasses and vodka hiding spots. So don’t forget when you’re hiding beverages for those tough classes and nights, parents can snoop everywhere, so get creative. I suggest a sock drawer.

I hope that this list gives everyone a few ideas to deal with this weird COVID-19 transition, and if you have any more ideas, please direct them into the chat of your next Collaborate class.

Hannah will get you through this.

graphic by Emma Palmer

Top five COVID curers Big Pharma doesn’t want you to know about

graphic by Brennen Gray

Bond getting [REDACTED].

The cure to the ‘Rona is closer than you might think!

Brennen Gray Obliterated James Bond 1. My Chemical Romance Fans – Band MCR recently announced they are going to stage a comeback. In response, the emo community lost their minds, and with good reason. Almost never before had there been a subculture of people who attached themselves to not just a specific genre of music, but one specific band. But with COVID-19 on the loose, this reunion tour is in jeopardy of cancellation.

It might be safe to say that, in the event of a tour cancellation, the emo community would be robbed more from the virus than anyone else. And so, the MCRmy is mobilizing to end this thing.

Rumor has it Dr. Gerard Way is working with his fans to distill eye-liners into some sort of sedative. They will then use this concoction to anesthetize the infected to perform a surgery where they will literally remove the virus piece by piece. This is okay, I promise.

Elsewhere in the Black Parade, some emos are pooling their resources to stockpile hair dye. They then plan on painting the streets with yellow and black caution lines to remind pedestrians to keep their distance from each other.

Most concerning, the Killjoys have also begun swarming people’s homes and singing “Na Na Na Na Na Na Na” to scare them out of leaving their homes.

2. James Bond – The high-profile Bond film, “No Time To Die,” was postponed due to COVID-19. This spells out a huge problem for 007. The franchise is like nonmainstream Olympic sports: you need a new installment every few years or people will stop caring.

Bond was last seen in a mask being chased out of MI6 headquarters by other agents. In an exclusive interview, Agent Bond spoke of his plan to eradicate the virus.

“Yes I plan on killing it with a hot babe on my arm. Maybe with a pistol that never runs out of bullets,” said Bond as he swirled his martini.

“I think I’ll drop in behind it wearing a white suit. Then I’ll sneak up behind it and snap its neck. If it doesn’t have a neck I’ll shoot it in the knee cap. Then I’ll shoot it in

the head. Then I’ll have tea.”

No word yet on where exactly Bond plans on finding the virus. He was last seen getting absolutely obliterated in a casino.

3. “The Simpsons” – Back when they were making harmless predictions about presidents and “Game of Thrones” endings, no one cared. But now that the cartoon has predicted the death of maybe a million people worldwide, people are going to turn on the show. What if. Maybe. Just maybe.

They caused the virus so they could get to “predict” another world event?

Bart Simpson has run away from home and is scamming his friends into allowing themselves to be used as test subjects.

Marge has begun a grocery smuggling ring to make sure hoarders don’t take all the damn toilet paper. Lisa is organizing a union.

Homer is eating himself to death. That virus is screwed.

4. Liverpool – You’ll never walk alone!

But you might walk away from a historically successful season without the Premier League cup.

The entire soccer team is lining up penalty kicks against the virus.

Mo Salah reportedly nailed it right in the DNA. Virgil van Dijk has defended the world from it, scoring some major infections. Some say he plans on using his jaw line to slice and dice the thing. Mané has been finding a way to strike the virus down with his beautiful form.

The craziest thing about this is how they are planning on teaming up with the emos.

Of all the people that want to end the virus, these two formed an unlikely friendship, like “Animal Crossing” and “Doom Eternal.”

Liverpool has started dyeing their hair, and MCR fans are currently training their skills on the pitch. Seriously what the hell is going on.

5. The State-Run Media – BURN THE COLLEGIAN! The State-Fun media is officially mounting its efforts to kill two birds with one stone. By burning all those toxic newspapers, the State-Run media will reduce global toxicity so much that the coronavirus will no longer want to live in.

Down with print journalism! Down with the fake news! Down with millennials!

Down with the establishment! Down with the Collegian! YES!

6 April 2020

The State-Run Media

the

State-Run media This is your life now.

Megachurch pastor worries for Jesus’ pocketbook

Osteen is concerned congregation won’t empty their pockets for God. Zach Short Superstar

When Lakewood Church closed its doors to the public in mid-March amid growing concerns over COVID-19, it was anyone’s guess as to when the congregation could return to a physical service. Online streaming options replaced the in-person sermons, so Pastor Joel Osteen can still get his message to his enormous following, but not everything will stay so much the same. Whereas the difference between watching the pastor from a pew and seeing him on television may prove negligible (possibly better, if seeing the action of an Osteen sermon is akin to seeing sporting events in-person or on TV), one changed aspect from being physically present in church will certainly suffer: tithe.

Osteen, estimated at roughly $50 million in net worth, has already begun expressing concern for how the church will afford its expenses if revenue from tithe dips, which is almost certain from current estimates.

Most worries for him center around just two problems. First, Osteen wonders if members of his congregation will feel unable to give during a time in which many of them live in quarantine and are out of work.

“Right now, a lot of my followers are not at their usual jobs,” said Osteen, referring to Lakewood attendees in a recent interview he performed remotely from his $10 million home. “This could lead them into being tricked by the devil into thinking they can no longer give, which is false; the Lord’s money is always there.” He continued further to say that the idea of tithe might have to be altered from the typical notion of one tenth of all income during times of stress,

graphic by Emma Palmer

Things aren’t looking up.

saying “there may be times when there is no official income, but there can never be a time when the church has no income.”

Second in concern for the pastor of the Texas megachurch is that people who would normally give large amounts may be inclined to be more frugal now. From the same interview, Osteen said “there is a reason that we do not always stick to online donations.

That small pressure involved with seeing the offering plate moving around and knowing that everyone will see just how much — or how little — you give is incredibly potent.” Whereas his first concern seemed

directed more at his working class patrons, this remark appeared directed at the upper and upper-middle class members of the congregation.

Before the interview concluded, Osteen did attempt to clarify that his concerns were not for his own financial gain. “Many mainstream media and fake news outlets out there will try to make you think that this is all for my own financial gain, which is wholly untrue,” said Osteen in a mildly politically-charged statement, “as you all know, I stopped taking a salary from my pastorhood years ago to live solely on the

income from my books, which are available for purchase on joelosteen.com.”

He went on to describe the separation between his own finances and that of the church, clarifying that he found it important that the church be self-funded, saying “were I to put my own money into the church, it would be like an investment; from that, there would be this feeling that there should be profit, or I would otherwise be just burning money.” He concluded the interview shortly after, remarking “I do not want anyone, anywhere to ever think even for a second that I would try to profit from organized religion.”

Nintendo did COVID-19

The video game giant created the global pandemic to increase “Animal Crossing” sales.

Michaela Bueche Waluigi truther

Dr. Mario will see you now.

graphic by Emma Palmer

The people deserve to know the truth about COVID-19! To explain everything, let’s start at the very beginning: a very good place to start. It began with “Pokémon GO.” A few years ago, Niantic released “Pokémon GO” and encouraged people to explore the great outdoors catching cute little virtual critters. Nintendo didn’t take too kindly to all this outdoor talk. It took all their consumers away from their video games.

That’s when Nintendo put billions into finding a solution to keep everyone inside.

Their solution … a pandemic.

The news keeps telling us it all started with a man and a bat. Almost like Batman.

But that’s not quite true. The man in question was actually a test subject in Nintendo’s Pandemic Division. They injected him with Luigi’s hat sweat, which caused the coronavirus and what we now know as COVID-19.

Nintendo’s plot worked much better than they ever could have hoped. Their manmade pandemic forced everyone indoors, took people’s jobs and even doled out some free wifi.

When they heard the good news of global quarantine, Nintendo took the next step in

their grand scheme to rule the world. They released “Animal Crossing: New Horizons.”

With the release of “New Horizons,” Nintendo is training its players to survive on a deserted island, perhaps preparing them for a post-apocalyptic world. According to my research, Nintendo’s goal was to increase sales for the game’s initial release and then include a fuck ton of in-game purchases to increase revenue even more. All this would occur while Nintendo trains their “Animal Crossing” players for the destruction they have created in the real world.

Because of course, with everyone staying inside, the economy has plummeted (except for Nintendo), the environment has gone to shit and zombies are taking over Walmart.

After a few years, people will finally get tired of their virtual world and rejoin the real one. They will be ready to rebuild, and Nintendo will be ready to release another game and pandemic.

All this and more can be found on the subreddit, r/AnimalCrossingConspiracies.

If you still don’t believe me, how do you explain that Nintendo Switch you bought right before going into isolation? How do you explain all the “Mario Party” and “Mario Kart” games you’ve been playing with your friends? How do you explain your unrequited crush on Isabelle? How do you explain Tom Nook’s new-found control over your money and life?

Wake up sheeple!