17 October 2016

a student newspaper of the university of tulsa

october 17, 2016 issue 8 ~ volume 102

Contentions over the Nobel Prizes discussed, p 7

Creepy Story Slam thrills listeners, p 11

Clown sightings on campus and around town, p 4

Graphic by Elias Brinkman

Sports

The Collegian: 2

17 October 2016

Justin Guglielmetti is…

the

bleacher creature

Go for the Pole!

You know baseball and softball, karate and squash, bowling and snooker, climbing and wushu. But do you recaaaaall, the most ridiculous proposed Olympic sport of aaaaaaall? Spoiler alert, it’s pole dancing! It’s not official, only a request from the “sport’s” international governing body, the International Pole Sports Federation, (this is the part where you say, “wait, there’s an International Pole Sports Federation?”) but there is now a possibility that the choice dance form of strippers becomes a medal event down the line. And lest you say to yourself, “Justin, there’s no way this motion passes, we’re not going to have pole dancers representing our country,” remember that the bigwigs in the IOC cares a whole lot about making money and pole dancing could be...rather lucrative. You thought a lot of people were tuning into beach volleyball, just wait until NBC’s morning show coverage of pole dancing, when Matt Lauer and Hoda Kotb take you live over to the “Legs and Eggs” portion of the show. I’m shuddering just thinking about it.

Kill the Save I grew up worshipping at the altar of Mariano Rivera so this isn’t easy for me to say, but we really need to do away with the save stat in baseball. I mean, we can keep recording them to make my dad and grandpa happy, but as far as measuring performance goes let’s just pretend they never existed. Just like that other antiquated pitching figure, the win, saves don’t actually do very much to illustrate the effectiveness of the pitcher. And worse, they tend to actually dictate when certain players are used, even if this selective usage is to the detriment of the team. Though analytics-minded managers are finally moving away from the practice (see Terry Francona using Andrew Miller as a versatile, multi-inning buzzsaw to cut through the best parts of the opposing lineup in these playoffs), too often managers are still stuck using their best relief pitcher only in the ninth inning, even if there is a higher leverage situation earlier in the game. In the AL Wildcard game, Orioles manager Buck Showalter left Zach Britton, owner of the lowest season ERA in MLB history on his bench while trotting out abysmal starter Ubaldo Jimenez in the bottom of the 11th. There was probably a multitude of things running through Showalter’s mind at the time but it just feels like if he wasn’t so fixated on Britton — the closer — being reserved for the save, then perhaps he would have brought him in to save the O’s season. *Insert Wentz pun here* With the Cavaliers winning their first NBA title and the Indians in excellent position to break a 70 year World Series drought, it’s sometimes difficult to remember that God hates Cleveland. So in case you need your daily reminder, just remember that the Browns had the choice to pick Carson Wentz with the second pick in the draft.

Instead they traded down to 15 and signed Robert Griffin III, who managed to last all of one game before landing on the IR. Now, just five games into the season (they’re 0-5 of course), the Browns have gone through four different quarterbacks while Wentz has looked every bit the franchise quarterback for the Eagles, throwing for over 1,000 yards and compiling a 7:1 TD:INT ratio through the first four games of his career.

Never get too cocky Cleveland, the man upstairs is watching.

photos by Dalton Stewart

Clockwise from top: the women’s soccer team crashes the box against the East Carolina Pirates during conference play earlier this season. Freshman forward Anna Williams (17) tries to steal the ball from East Carolina’s defender. Williams has three goals through her first 13 career collegiate games. Senior defender Darienne Chapman prevents East Carolina from taking posession of the ball. Chapman has helped the Golden Hurricane record two shutouts in the 14 games that she’s played.

Men’s soccer upsets Creighton and UCF; women suffer tough loss to Memphis Men’s soccer had their best win of the season over Creighton and rallied to beat UCF. The women’s team lost to Memphis 4-0.

Joseph Edmunds Sports Writer Men’s Soccer After losing a couple of tough conference games, the Golden Hurricane men’s soccer team played their best game of the year against No. 6 Creighton and followed that up with a conference victory against UCF. The gameplan against the Creighton Bluejays was well-defined from the start.

Tulsa put pressure on the defenders, pressing high up the field to keep Creighton from being comfortable in possession. When the Golden Hurricane had possession, they tried to find Matt Puig over the top of the defense.

The strategy worked well for much of the game. There was one big breakdown, though, and it cost the lead. Off of a free kick, Creighton passed the ball a few times before Ricky Lopez-Espin was able to take a few uncontested touches to take a shot that got past goalkeeper Jake McGuire. The rest

of the second half was back-and-forth, and the score remained 1-0 at halftime.

In the second half, Tulsa started to take control of the game. They held most of the possession, and created many chances that just came up short. With five minutes left, Alejandro Chavez got the ball near the top left corner of the goal box. He faked inside, took a touch outside, and drilled a shot into the bottom right corner of the goal to tie the game. As overtime seemed imminent, Quinton Duncan found Matt Puig over the top of the defense again, and this time he was able to beat the Creighton goalkeeper, and Tulsa hung on to the epic comeback victory.

For their next game, Tulsa was back against a conference opponent, UCF. In this game, Tulsa had the majority of control and pressure, but the scoreline kept close throughout the game. Neither team was able to get a goal in the first half, In the second half, the goals started to flow. UCF started it off with the first goal fifteen minutes into the half. Lucas Bueno leveled the score within ten minutes for the Golden Hurricane. Then, Matt Puig knocked in a goal to take the lead with ten minutes remaining in the game. The defense wasn’t able to hold on to that lead, though, as UCF tied the game at 2-2 with four minutes left.

The scoring wasn’t quite over yet, though,

as Rollie Rocha scored a long goal to give Tulsa the 3-2 win.

After the pair of victories this week, Tulsa is now 7-4-2 (2-2 American Athletic Conference) on the season. Their next game is against local rivals Oral Roberts on Tuesday at 7:00 p.m.

Women’s Soccer

The Golden Hurricane women’s soccer team suffered a large defeat at the hand of the Memphis Tigers this week, falling 4-0.

Throughout the game, Memphis held the upper hand. The Tigers put up a crazy 31 shots, 10 of which were on target. It took them fifteen minutes to find the back of the net, and twenty minutes later they added another. Tulsa went into the break down 2-0.

In the second half, the Tigers quickly expanded their lead, scoring two goals backto-back in the first ten minutes of the half.

The final score was 4-0.

On the season, Tulsa owns a 7-7-1 (3-2 American Athletic Conference) record.

Their next game is another road game, this time at Houston. The kickoff is at 7:00 p.m. on Thursday.

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Sports

17 October 2016

The Collegian: 3

NBA East vs. West conference previews Tip-off to the start of the NBA season is fast approaching, so the writers of The Collegian take this time to rank each conference from worst to first.

No shake-up at the top of the East The best in the West get even better Justin Guglielmetti Student Writer

After a long summer of shirtless championship celebrations and traitorous stars changing teams (I mean Dwyane Wade going to the Bulls, gosh), the NBA season is almost upon us! Here is a worst to first ranking on what to expect from the Eastern Conference.

15. Brooklyn Nets - Aside from Linsanity returning to New York, there’s not a whole lot to speak of here. The Nets are probably the least talented team in the entire NBA and will struggle to win 15 games. At least they’ll have a jump on the loaded 2017 draft class!

14. Orlando Magic - Aside from superstar ball handlers setting him up for easy midrange jumpers and a great defensive big allowing him to chase weak side blocks, will Serge Ibaka still be able to produce at a high level? I say no. There’s some talent here, but the team’s lack of spacing will be absolutely toxic.

13. Philadelphia 76ers - Joel Embiid is looking like Wilt Chamberlain in Vine clips and Ben Simmons and Dario Saric make for perhaps the best draft haul of any team.

They’ll struggle at the outset while Simmons recovers from his foot surgery, but if he turns out to be the generational talent some have projected him to be, the Sixers could be competitive down the stretch.

12. Miami Heat - Dwyane Wade has gone to Chicago and Chris Bosh has retired, likely knocking the Heat out of playoff contention in 2017, but all is not lost. Given full control of the the offense, expect the dynamic Goran Dragic to bounce back to his All-NBA level of play from two years ago and Hassan Whiteside to contend for Defensive Player of the Year.

11. Chicago Bulls - In case you thought a backcourt of Dwyane Wade and Rajon Rondo would work out, you are wrong. I’m half expecting them to start fighting in between the bevy of bricks.

10. New York Knicks - Are the Knicks living in 2012? Four years ago, the additions of Derrick Rose, Joakim Noah and Brandon Jennings to a team built around Carmelo Anthony would have made New York a title contender. Today, unless Kristaps Porzingis makes The Leap, I have a hard time seeing

the Knicks in the postseason, despite some other pundits’ lofty predictions.

9. Detroit Pistons - A surprise playoff team in 2016, the Pistons will have a hard time staying with the best of the East while PG Reggie Jackson misses the first two months to tendinitis.

8. Washington Wizards - KD didn’t come home to DC, but the Wizards could still find themselves back in the playoffs.

If Bradley Beal could just manage to stay healthy, he and John Wall could potentially make for the best non-Warriors backcourt in the league.

7. Atlanta Hawks - Make no mistake, going from Al Horford to Dwight Howard is a distinct downgrade at this point in their careers. The talent level from the 60-win team of two years ago is still in place, but the petulant Howard will almost certainly mess with continuity.

6. Milwaukee Bucks - My prediction for this season’s surprise playoff team, the Bucks will trot out a bunch of freakishly tall lineups if the preseason is any indication. It remains to be seen whether the Greek Freak Giannis Antetokounmpo can function as a full-time point guard, but I’ve got faith.

5. Charlotte Hornets - This is the year Kemba Walker stops being underrated and takes his place alongside the NBA’s point guard elite. Better than the sum of their parts, Charlotte will prove last season was no fluke.

4. Indiana Pacers - The Pacers don’t have a lot of shooting, but they do have a Paul George. George returned triumphantly from his gruesome shin injury and will reveal himself as a star capable of leading just about any group to success.

3. Toronto Raptors - Toronto will bring back almost the entire squad from the one that took the Cavs to six games and losing Bismack Biyombo certainly isn’t enough to knock them from their place amongst the East’s elite.

2. Boston Celtics - I still dream every night of Durant choosing the Celtics over the Warriors….Even without KD, the addition of Al Horford and the continued development of Marcus Smart and Isaiah Thomas could make for a 60 win team.

1. Cleveland Cavaliers - Huge surprise here, I know! Once again, it’ll take a miracle to prevent the Cleveland LeBrons from rolling over the rest of the East.

Joseph Edmunds Sports Writer

It’s hard to think otherwise as superstar Kevin Durant made his way to the two-time defending conference champion Golden State Warriors this summer. Who is in a position to compete with them this season?

Here’s a look at the worst to first ranking for the Western Conference.

15. Phoenix Suns - Phoenix has a group of guards that will have to try and carry the team this season, as they lack depth in the front court. The Warriors have shown that guard play can win games, but the Suns need a few years’ more experience before they can compete.

14. Denver Nuggets - The Nuggets have a young core of players, and have drafted well the past two seasons. Emmanuel Mudiay will continue to grow at the point as he runs the offense through Danilo Gallinari, but it won’t be enough for Denver to compete this season.

13. Los Angeles Lakers - The Lakers made a few moves for some veteran players this offseason, adding Luol Deng and Timofey Mozgov. They will give leadership to the young stars in LA, which will help them contend in years to come.

12. Houston Rockets - James Harden is a lone. James Harden is inconsistent. Not a recipe for success in Houston.

11. New Orleans Pelicans - Anthony Davis is a beast, but the rest of the roster is questionable. The backcourt doesn’t have much experience, which could give opportunities to young players like rookie Buddy Hield to make a difference.

10. Dallas Mavericks - Somehow, the Mavs have made their roster work for years.

Experience has been key, as veterans like Dirk Nowitzki lead the way. A few offseason losses hurt the Mavs depth, though, and might keep them out of the playoffs this year.

9. Sacramento Kings - The Kings look much the same as they did last season. DeMarcus Cousins will carry them as much as

he can, but besides that, they’re in a tough spot.

8. Portland Trail Blazers - No one expected Portland to do so well last year. They have a dynamic backcourt lead by Damian Lillard, and he could lead them back to the playoffs. Don’t expect a deep run from this team, though.

7. Minnesota Timberwolves - We could see the Timberwolves break out this year, as their young stars have had a couple years to develop in the league. Karl-Anthony Towns showed last year he was as good as advertised, and Andrew Wiggins is still playing solid basketball. The Timberwolves will claim a low playoff seed this year.

6. Utah Jazz - The Jazz don’t have any superstars on their roster, but they have solid players all around. They added George Hill to run the point, and they look poised for a playoff run.

5. Memphis Grizzlies - The Grizzlies are a very experienced team, but that’s because their core is a bunch of old players. They gave Mike Conley the most ridiculous contract in NBA history. They will win games and make the playoffs, but without some young energy they will fizzle out around playoff time.

4. OKC Thunder - The departures of Kevin Durant and Serge Ibaka hurt, but the Thunder are still going to win games this year. Russell Westbrook and Victor Oladipo will keep them in the top half of the conference as they look to see who else can contribute on offense.

3. Los Angeles Clippers - The Clippers are deep. This roster is easily the best roster to lack success in the past few years. If they can stay healthy (looking at you, Blake Griffin), look for them to make a playoff run.

2. San Antonio Spurs - Tim Duncan retired, but the Spurs still have LaMarcus Aldridge to lock down the frontcourt. Kawhi Leonard is a beast, and the Spurs can rely on their experience to succeed this season.

1. Golden State Warriors - The Warriors added Kevin Durant. The scariest offense in the league just got another weapon. Enough said.

“The Warriors added Kevin Durant. The scariest offense in the league just got another weapon.”

Tulsa takes Houston down to the wire in loss

Football lost at the one yard line to Houston. Even in the loss, Tulsa showed they can compete with anyone in the conference.

Matt Rechtien Sports Editor

The Golden Hurricane traveled to Houston on Saturday to take on the Cougars in their second matchup with a top-15 team this season. Houston was coming off their first loss of the season to the United States Naval Academy on the road, whereas Tulsa was fresh off a home overtime win against SMU last weekend. After coming back from 14-point deficits twice in the game, Tulsa’s final comeback effort fell just short and Houston escaped with a 38—31 win.

The game started off similar to previous starts for the Golden Hurricane in that their three possessions in the first quarter led to two punts and a field goal. Meanwhile, Greg Ward Jr. and the Cougars would put up 17 points while the Golden Hurricane tried to find some momentum.

It wasn’t until the last three minutes of the

Monday

Women’s Golf @ University of Texas Golf Club

first half when they scored their first touchdown a two-yard run from true freshman Corey Taylor on his first career touch. After forcing Houston to punt it a minute later, Tulsa got the ball back with under two minutes to play — which with the speed that the offense plays is when they really excel on the field. Taking just 1:45 to march down the field, the Golden Hurricane scored their second touchdown on a keeper by quarterback Dane Evans to even the score at 17–17 with just seconds left in the half. The defense forced an interception on Ward’s hail mary pass to end the half.

After putting up only 48 yards of offense in the first quarter the Golden Hurricane bounced back to have over 200 yards of offense by the end of the first half, almost completely made up by their final scoring drives of the half. Houston had just under 300 yards of offense at half, but the defense stood strong in the second quarter forcing two turnovers — a fumble and interception — and giving up no points.

The second half started off very similar to the start of the game. Tulsa’s offense couldn’t find that success they had late in the first half and weren’t putting together

Tuesday Women’s Golf @ University of Texas Golf Club Men’s Soccer vs. ORU 7:00 p.m. (through Sun.)

Wednesday

No Events

successful drives. Houston found their offense again and burned the Golden Hurricane defense for two more touchdowns and a 31–17 lead going into the final quarter of the game.

In the last six minutes of the game, the Golden Hurricane’s offense got moving again as Evans hit James Flanders, Josh Atkinson and Justin Hobbes to march down the field. Evans found a wide open Hobbes in the end zone for a 38-yard touchdown pass to bring Tulsa within seven points. The defense stepped up and forced a three-andout on Houston’s next possession, and running back Flanders ran through Houston’s defense for a touchdown to tie the game at 31–31. Though after the touchdown Flanders removed his helmet and earned a 15yard penalty in response for the unsportsmanlike conduct.

After the defense forced another punt the Golden Hurricane go the ball back with 1:39 left to play in the game and looked primed to make a game winning drive. After a 19yard pass to Hobbes, the Houston defense stripped the ball from Evans’ hand and scored a touchdown on the fumble return, taking a 38–31 lead with only 1:21 left in

Thursday Women’s Soccer @ Houston 7:00 p.m.

the game. On the next possession with their backs up against the wall, Evans led the Golden Hurricane down the field, but Tulsa only had two timeouts left to use. Flanders got a big run but was stopped just short at the one yard line. After the refs missed a blatant 12-men on the field call, the Golden Hurricane called a timeout with seven seconds left in the game, enough time for one more play. After faking the run Evans hit ex-tight end and current defensive linemen Jesse Brubaker on the one yard line, but Houston swarmed and forced him down inches away from the end zone, ending the game with a 38–31 victory for the Cougars.

It’s a tough pill to swallow, to come so close to taking their third straight game to overtime, only to be shut down at the absolute last second. But Tulsa showed resilience for a third straight week. That’s three games in a row where they bounced back from slow starts to get themselves back into the game. Tulsa proved that they can be a competitor in the conference by taking the top-ranked team from the American Athletic Conference down to the wire.

Tulsa will play next against Tulane this Saturday at 2:45 p.m.

Oct. 17 - 23 Friday

Saturday

Football vs. Tulane 2:45 p.m.

Volleyball @ UCF 6:00 p.m. Men’s Soccer Men’s Tennis @ Temple @ ITA Regional 6:00 p.m.

Sunday

Rowing @ Jayhawk Jamboree 2:00 p.m.

Volleyball @ USF 12:00 p.m.

Women’s Soccer @ SMU 1:00 p.m.

The Collegian: 4

News

17 October 2016

VP for Diversity and Engagement looks to enhance diversity focus

Dr. Jacqueline Caldwell, the first Vice President for Diversity and Engagement, is working with students, organizations and faculty to make TU a more diverse and inclusive university.

James Whisenhunt Commentary Editor

On July 1st, 2016, Dr. Jacqueline Caldwell became TU’s first Vice President for Diversity and Engagement. Caldwell began at TU as a professor in the College of Law in 2006, eventually working in the Office of the President up to her new VP position and her continued role as the Director for the Presidential Scholars program.

The process behind creating the position, Caldwell explained, was initiated by a year-long study on student and faculty recruitment by the Student Affairs Committee within Faculty Senate. From the study, the Committee created a resolution that was sent to President Upham recommending that the University create the position that Caldwell would eventually fill.

Caldwell stressed, however, that this resolution was not the beginning of TU’s interest in diversity. “There had been quite a few conversations going on across the campus on diversity,” she notes, with University faculty through committees and retreats, as well as events put on by student organizations and individual student opinions. Even though the conversations have been happening, Caldwell feels that “creating an office brings a level of intention to the process,” in addition to allowing TU to “send the message that [diversity] is a strategic priority for the University.”

As for Caldwell herself, she has been consistently involved in TU’s diversity ef-

forts through the Equal Access and Opportunity Commision and faculty recruitment, as well as being part of a multicultural panel for incoming students. “So when the resolution came up”, she explains, “it was sort of a natural progression that I would be interested in this position.”

Caldwell also spoke about diversity being one of TU’s core values, saying “at the center of our mission statement is that we can only accomplish our mission through educating men and women of diverse backgrounds and cultures.” In terms of her own work with faculty and students, she is “particularly heartened by the fact that people are positive about the mission.”

When the Student Affairs Committee recommended the creation of Caldwell’s position, they also recommended that a Diversity Action Plan should be created for the University. This Diversity Action Plan is being created by the Diversity Advisory Council, containing 15 subcommittees for topics like student and faculty recruitment, retention and campus climate, among others. These subcommittees include “people from all walks of life on the campus,” as Caldwell puts it, including students, faculty and staff, “to identify where we are… and based on those findings, make recommendations to improve upon that.” Caldwell notes that the creation of the Diversity Action Plan is “an ongoing process,” but is excited about its potential.

In the process of looking at where TU is and where improvements can be made, Caldwell stressed the importance of interacting with students and student organizations. She mentions working with larger groups like Student Association, as well as smaller student groups like TU’s branch of the National Society for Black Engineers, to collaborate with them and use her experiences and expertise to further the causes she believes in. She also makes a point of going

courtesy Jacqueline Caldwell

Dr. Caldwell makes it a priority to work with students and student organizations and attend their events to help improve the focus of diversity at TU.

to as many events as possible to make herself and her department more well-known by the student body. Recently, Caldwell attended and spoke at the TU Interfaith Tour, as well as serving on the panel for a recent town hall coordinated by Student Association’s Diversity and Multiculturalism Com-

mittee. Through these appearances, interacting with students and the continued creation and eventual implementation of the Diversity Action Plan, Caldwell looks to make the most of her position by personally and professionally advocating for an increased focus on diversity at TU.

Your Homecoming 2016 festivities guide for the week ahead

This year’s homecoming theme, Reign Cane, promises a weeklong slate of activities replicating events from previous years and long-standing traditions.

Michaela Flonard News Editor

Homecoming 2016 kicked off Sunday, October 16th with a party entitled “Homecoming Kick-off Party: Reign ‘Cane with Raising Cane’s!’” This year’s theme is Reign Cane, meaning each event is either a tradition or a throwback to previous years’ Homecoming or Springfest events. Homecoming shirts will be given out at all the events except the bonfire build. The list of events is below.

Monday: Homecoming Color Run. This event is a throwback to 2014 Homecoming.

Registration will begin at 6:30pm, although pre-registration is available through SA, and the race starts at 6:45pm. Participants will have colorful powder thrown at them while running or walking a 1.75 mile course, starting at Harwell Field. The top male and female finishers will receive a prize and all will have custom race bibs. After the race, at 7:30pm, there will be a Color War, where people will throw around colored powder.

There will be Josh’s Sno Shack.

photo by Chuyi Wen

Street painting is one of the traditions that will continue this year, with organizations following the theme of Reign Cane.

Tuesday: Street Painting. This TU tradition will run from 6:00pm to 9:30pm. Organizations will compete for best painting relating to the theme. Free Papa John’s pizza will be available.

Wednesday: Homecoming Casino Night.

From 4:30pm to 7:30pm, a Casino-style buffet will be held at the main level of the Student Union, with food ranging from prime rib, shrimp cocktail and roast lamb.

Upstairs, in the Great Hall from 5:00 to

7:00pm, there will be casino tables, with attendants to run and teach the game. Appetizers, desserts and mocktails will be served upstairs. Formal/cocktail attire is encouraged and organizations will receive bonus points for doing so.

Thursday: Bonfire Build and Foam Party.

The bonfire build, in association with the Alumni Association, will be from 5:00pm to 6:00pm. Everyone is encouraged to attend but organizations will receive points

towards the competition for helping. For safety, wear closed-toe shoes, jeans and work clothes, with gloves encouraged.

The foam party will be held from 6:00pm to 8:30pm at Chapman Commons. A throwback to Springfest 2003, this event features a foam dance floor and an inflatable slide covered in foam. Cotton candy and popcorn will be available.

Friday: Student/Alumni Breakfast, Pep Rally and Bonfire and Bike Decorating.

This annual tradition will run from 9:00am to 11:00am at the Hurricane Plaza. Ann’s Bakery and Boston Avenue Grill will provide food, from pastries to breakfast burritos.

The bike decorating will run from 6:00pm to 7:00pm, at the Lorton Performance Center parking lot. Free lights and material will be provided. At 7:15pm, a parade will roll down E. 5th Pl and around Dietler Commons.

The Pep Rally and Bonfire will begin at 7:30pm at Dietler Commons. The band and cheerleaders will perform, and representatives from the student body, alumni, faculty and administration will light the bonfire.

Fireworks will end the evening. Refreshments for students will be on the west side of Dietler Commons and ones for alumni will be at the alumni shirt.

Saturday: Tulsa Football Game. TU will play Tulane University at 2:45pm.

Sinister clowns reportedly spotted at TU and around Tulsa

Sightings of and online threats by menacing clowns, which have spread around the country since August, reached Tulsa at the beginning of October.

Michaela Flonard News Editor

Last week, Campus Security received reports of clown sightings on campus.

Security was unable to find a suspect, but these reports were echoed around Tulsa and Oklahoma in general.

The first reported sighting at TU was October 4, at 11:23 pm, and the second was Oct. 5, at 8:15pm. The person reported seeing someone wearing a clown mask near sorority row. Officers searched the area but could not find the suspect.

Since a reported sighting in South Carolina in August, reports of sinister clowns have spread across the nation. In the original sighting in Greenville, N.C., the clown was reportedly attempting to lure children into the woods. Videos and reports of clowns standing menacingly in the distance or chasing people have circulated since then, although many of those have been dismissed as hoaxes. By the Sept. 29, 12 people around the country have been

arrested for making false reports or threats, or chasing people in relation to this trend.

Wednesday, however, demonstrated that this trend has not bypassed Tulsa.

On Thursday, Oct. 5, a Tulsa man reported being wounded by a “gothic clown” who attempted to take his bicycle. Police searched for the clown but were unsuccessful in locating the suspect. Another man called in a clown attack that same day. While walking his dog, the man said a clown grabbed him, hit him and wrestled him to the ground. The suspect was not found.

An anonymous Instagram account on Wednesday, Oct. 4, told students of Cherokee County public school district that their school would be “shot up” the next day.

This threat, however, had been disseminated countrywide, and investigators later found the culprit to be a 12 year old girl at one of the area schools.

Tulsa Police department does advise the public against dressing as clowns this Halloween, for their own safety. Jeanne McKenzie, TPD Public Information Officer said in a Oct. 7 statement that “there is concealed and open carry, and people are fighting back when these people, these clowns are attacking them, so we don’t want this to escalate anymore.”

Oklahoma state statutes do prohibit the wearing of masks, hoods or other coverings

courtesy Public Domain Photos

Campus Security was not able to locate the suspect wearing a clown mask on Oct. 4 or Oct. 5, but students are reminded to call Security if they observe any suspicious activity.

that conceal the wearer’s identity during crimes or to coerce, intimidate or harass others. Conviction under this statute leads to a misdemeanor charge and either a fine or imprisonment in county jail.

Students are reminded to call Campus

Security at 918-631-5555 if they observe any suspicious activity. TU “discourages inappropriate activities, even those not meant to cause harm, that might make others feel threatened.”

News

17 October 2016

The Collegian: 5

TU ACM hosts 24-hour programming challenge

TU’s Association for Computing Machinery hosted their annual Fall Code Jam on Saturday, awarding prizes to three winning groups.

Hannah Kloppenburg Editor-in-Chief

The annual Association for Computing Machinery Fall Code Jam took place from Saturday, Oct. 15, to Sunday, Oct. 16 at the Mayo SAC. The Code Jam, a programming competition with teams of up to four people, ran 24 hours from 10 AM to 10 AM. The objective of Code Jam is to utilize the 24-hour time period given to create a program or app. Participants aren’t allowed to do any work on their projects, although they can plan them, before the competition

begins. Free food and prizes such as gift cards were offered to teams with the most impressive creations. The first place team won $100 Amazon gift cards for each team member, the second place team won $75 Amazon gift cards, and the third place team won $50 Amazon gift cards.

Senior Sam Chott was a part of the third place team along with fellow seniors Thomas Littlejohn and Se Yeon Kim. He and his teammates made a collaborative coding education web app.

Though participants have the option to code for up to 24 hours, Chott reported that “nobody actually stayed for 24 hours this year. It seemed like about half of the people were gone by midnight.” However, he added that “In past years maybe half of the people stayed for the full 24 hours.”

When asked whether the 24-hour event was draining, Chott commented that it was

challenging but fun. “It sucks for the first few hours, but I really got into it and had a good time.”

The second place team, consisting of freshmen Hannah Robbins, Rachel Porter, Gavin Moore, and Alex Leeper, made a choose-your-own-adventure app where the user could play as a presidential candidate’s campaign manager. The first prize-winning team, composed of juniors Sam Beckmann and Nate Beckemeyer as well as sophomore John Bolin created an interactive electoral map indicating how much a single vote for president matters in each state.

Nate Beckemeyer, a participant as well as an organizer of the event, said that their website “used the weight of your vote... based off of a simple linear regression from the past 5 presidential elections” and “a measurement of the likelihood of a state to swing in the election” to determine the

value of a single vote.

“The real aspect of the project was the map on the website and its functionality, which Sam Beckmann worked on tirelessly,” he continued. “It went really well, which is rare for a Code Jam project.”

Beckemeyer concluded that “Code Jams are a great opportunity to learn something that you want to learn, but normally wouldn’t. The events force you to focus to learn that tool or technique to build a finished product. I would highly recommend the Code Jam to any students who want to compete. It’s an excellent learning experience — and a lot of fun.”

According to Chott and Beckemeyer, other programs included a Pokédex that relayed information to the user, an algorithm that could help the user solve a Rubix cube, and a prototype for a website that allowed users to review food from the Caf.

In Memoriam: Dennis Byrd

“We extend our sincere condolences to Dennis’ wife Angela, their children and the entire Byrd family. Dennis exemplified true determination, tremendous heart and humility throughout his life. He had a tremendous playing career at TU and professionally with the New York Jets. He overcame great personal adversity after a life-altering injury on the football field. We know that Dennis touched numerous lives and will be missed by many.”

– Dr. Derrick Gragg, Tulsa VP & Director of Athletics

Nathan Gibbons Distribution Manager

Iraq prepares to take Mosul The Iraqi military is preparing to take the northern Iraq city of Mosul back from ISIS forces. The Iraqi military force reportedly consists of Sunni fighters, Yazidis, Christians and Turkmen.

Iraqi Air Force planes dropped leaflets Saturday night over the city to warn residents of the impending attack. Along with information on recent victories, ISIS positions, and advice on how to keep safe during the attacks, the headlines suggested an Iraqi victory.

“It’s victory time,” reads one pamphlet, quoting Iraq President Haider al-Abadi. “Time to celebrate a clean Iraq without ‘Daesh’ or any dark belief.”

Another headline simply reads “We are preparing to take action to free Mosul and regain security and stability in the region.” Iraqi and Peshmerga forces have already begun planning for the future of Mosul. Masoud Barzani, President of the Kurdistan Regional Government, said “Baghdad and Irbil (the capital of Iraqi Kurdistan) have also agreed to establish a joint higher political committee whose task would be to supervise the affairs of Mosul after the liberation.” The city has been under ISIS control since June of 2014.

United Kingdom to process refugees A substantial amount of refugee children living in the Calais “Jungle” of France are beginning the registration process and will live with relatives in France and the United Kingdom in mere days, officials said earlier this week. According to the Children’s Commissioner for England, about three hundred children from countries like Syria and Afghanistan will be integrated into the U.K. Calais officials will first prioritize unaccompanied minors who have relatives in the U.K. and France before registering other vulnerable children who do not have family in the nations.

French authorities have announced their plans to destroy the Calais “Jungle,” a refugee tent camp which houses up to an estimated 10,000 refugees, before the end of the year. French President Francois Hollande says he plans to move the inhabitants to reception centers across France. Humanitarian workers worry that rushed moving and demolition may leave some unaccounted refugees, especially children, abandoned.

Civil War continues to rage in Yemen According to United States officials, two unidentified Americans have been released

by Houthi rebels and left Yemen alongside Yemenis hurt in a recent funeral bombing.

They were flown to the neighbouring city of Oman, which also mediated the release.

At least 140 people were killed in the Saudi led coalition attack on the funeral hall that took place in the Yemeni capital, Sanaa, on October 8th. Since then, the coalition has acknowledged that their attack was based on “bad information.”

Yemen has been devastated by a civil war between the Houthi rebel movement and government forces. The USS Mason, a U.S. Navy Destroyer in the Red Sea, was targeted by surface-to-surface missiles fired from Houthi rebel territory. The Destroyer took countermeasures and was not struck. The civil war has killed more than 6,800 people since March of 2015.

Nigeria receives Boko Haram hostages 21 more girls were released last Thursday by Boko Haram as negotiations for the release of any of the nearly 300 kidnapped chibok women continue. They were freed before dawn near the northeastern Nigerian town of Banki, according to an anonymous source. The release is “a result of the round-the-clock efforts by the administration to put a closure to the sad issue,” said Nigerian information minister Alhaji Lai Mohammed. “We see this as a credible first step in the eventual release of all the Chibok girls in captivity,”.

The Nigeria-based #ChibokGirls campaign said in a statement, “We further urge the international community to continue to support our government’s effort to rescue all other abducted Nigerians, so that parents, the Chibok community, the nation, and the world can finally put an end to this nightmare once and for all.” In April 2014, Boko Haram troops kidnapped 276 girls from their beds at a boarding school in the middle of the night. Some 57 girls escaped early on, and another escapee was discovered this Spring.

Putin cancels visit to France amid allegations

Russian President Vladimir Putin has cancelled his planned visit to France next week, the Kremlin announced last Tuesday, October 11th. The announcement comes after French President Francois Hollande suggested to French TV stations that the bombardment of Aleppo constituted war crimes. “What I tell them, is that these populations are populations that are today victims of war crimes and those who commit those acts will have to pay for their responsibility in front of the International Criminal Court.”

Russia and Assad’s regime continue to bombard the rebel-held Syrian city of Aleppo and spur outrage from the global community. After some calm in the city, bombardment resumed again last Tuesday, and some strikes even reportedly landed near a school and a market. U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry said investigations should be carried out.

“Russia and the regime owe the world more than an explanation about why they keep hitting hospitals and medical facilities, and children and women,” stated Kerry.

Wednesday, October 19 at 12:00pm to 1:00pm Collins Hall, Holmes Board Room Fed Up with Lunch: Changing the Way Schools Feed Our Children A presentation by the Farm to School Program of Oklahoma.

The power of the Food Lobby remains a formidable obstacle to the promotion of health and food sustainability in public schools and communities across the United States. An administrator of the Oklahoma Farm to School Program will discuss how Farm to School enriches the connection communities have with fresh, healthy food and local food producers by changing food purchasing and education practices at schools while strengthening the local economy.

A lunch built from sustainable food sources will be served.

Sponored by Women and Gender Studies Program and United Campus Ministry.

Wednesday, October 19 at 12:00pm to 12:50pm Chapman Hall, Room 349 TU’s Role in Bolstering Teacher Workforce Diversity We invite TU students and staff to attend this conversation.

Please RSVP to kasey-trowhill@utulsa.edu.

Wednesday, October 19 at 9:00am to 3:00pm Dietler Commons & SA Tailgate Tent The Clothesline Project Display The Clothesline Project is a visual display that bears witness to sexual violence.

During the public display, a clothesline is hung with shirts. Each shirt is decorated to represent a particular person’s experience, by the survivors themselves or by someone who cares about them.

The Clothesline Project started with 31 shirts hung in Hyannis, Mass., in the fall of 1990. Since that time, projects have been in communities all across the country and in other countries as well.

The purpose of the project is four-fold: 1. To bear witness to the survivors as well as the victims of violence.

2. To help with the healing process for people who have lost a loved one or are survivors of this violence.

3. To educate, document and raise society’s awareness of the extent of the problem of sexual violence.

4. To provide a nationwide network of support, encouragement and information for other communities starting their own Clothesline Projects.

For more information: http://www.clotheslineproject.org/ Thursday, October 20 at 9:00am to 3:00pm Saturday, October 22 at 9:00am to 3:00pm Thursday, October 20 at 8:00pm Kendall Hall, Chapman Theatre HAIR: The American Tribal Love-Rock Musical TU Theatre presents HAIR, the American Tribal Love-Rock Musical.

This Tony-nominated and Grammy-winning show invites you to be a part of the “Be-In” and sing along with Aquarius, Easy to be Hard and Let the Sunshine In. HAIR celebrates the revolutionary counterculture movement of the 1960s, as it boldly and joyfully follows a “tribe” of young, politically active ’60s hippies and flower children seeking to embrace a lifestyle of love, peace and freedom as they strive for spiritual enlightenment amidst the newly adopted Civil Rights Act and the looming threat of the Vietnam War. The dynamic energy of youth and the issues of those revolutionary times still have remarkable resonance today.

Warning: This performance contains mature content and strong, coarse language.

Oct. 16 & 23 at 2 p.m.

Oct. 21 at 8:30 p.m., following Homecoming Bonfire NO performance on Oct. 22 Thursday, October 20 at 5:30pm to 9:00pm Dietler Commons United Way Night Market Come enjoy a fun atmosphere, crafts, food, music and a chili cook-off Monday, October 24 Lorton Performance Center, Gussman Concert Hall Symphony Orchestra Concert: Chris Brubeck The University of Tulsa Symphony Orchestra presents trombonist and composer Chris Brubeck performing his Concerto for Bass Trombone, and the Oklahoma premiere of his concert overture “City Visions”.

TU Symphony Conductor Richard Wagner will lead the orchestra in Prokofiev’s “Lt. Kije” Suite, and music by Vaughan Williams and Rimsky-Korsakov.

During the 1970’s, Chris Brubeck began touring and recording with his father, Dave Brubeck. Chris plays bass, trombone, piano, guitar and sings and has earned international acclaim as composer, performer, and leader of his own groups: The Brubeck Brothers Quartet and Chris Brubeck’s Triple Play. He is accomplished composing and performing in jazz, blues, folk, funk, pop and classical music styles.

Chris Brubeck is a currently a J. Donald Feagin Visiting Artist and will be in residence at the School of Music from October 23-27.

The Collegian does not produce all event descriptions in the Community Calendar.

Contact us at news@tucollegian.org with events.

The Collegian: 6

News

17 October 2016

Campus Security elaborates on Crime and Safety Report Several weeks ago TU released the 2015 Crime and Safety Report and we ran a brief description of its contents in the October 3 issue of The Collegian. Our read-through left us with some questions, so we reached out to Campus Security for answers.

Kayleigh Thesenvitz Managing Editor Q: What’s up with that murder/homicide in 2014?

A: The homicide was reported as a child abuse case that occurred on Sept. 11, 2014, at Brown Village. The victim, a 2-monthold boy, died the next day at the hospital.

The suspect was the boy’s father and a TU student. He was arrested and charged with child abuse murder.

Q: What’s with the sharp increase in alcohol and drug referrals for arrest from 2014 to 2015?

A: There was an increase in referrals from 2014 to 2015. On-campus referrals for alcohol violations increased from 52 in 2014 to 82 in 2015, and referrals for drug violations increased from 27 in 2014 to 43 in 2015. The largest increase in on-campus referrals came from Housing, which accounted for 78 of the alcohol violations and 33 of the drug violations. The reason for the increase might be better answered by someone in Housing.

Note: Arrests differ from referrals. When an arrest is made, the person is charged with a criminal offense; referrals are handled through the university and do not result in a criminal record.

Q: Are there further statistics about the increase in larcenies in 2015?

pus, Norman Village and University Square West Apartments.

A: Most of our larceny-type crime is student-on-student (generally petty items).

The increase in overall larcenies this year was a rise in bike thefts, which for the most part is committed by outsiders coming on to the campus and stealing from the apartment bike racks.

Q: There were no fires anywhere on campus in 2015, is that typical?

Q: Motor Vehicle Theft more than doubled from 2014 to 2015, is there more information to go with that?

A: During 2015, we experienced an increase of eight motor vehicle thefts over 2014. Of those eight, two were universityowned golf carts, and two were unlicensed motorcycles or moped-type vehicles. The remaining were motor vehicles (cars/trucks) that were taken from the apartment complex parking lots on the northwest corner of cam-

A:We are only required to report fires that occur in university-owned student housing.

Typically we have very few reported fires in these facilities, and when we do they are very minor thanks to the fire suppression systems. The primary cause is unattended cooking left on the stove, followed by careless disposal of smoking material.

Fire statistics in Housing facilities: · 2015: 0 · 2014: 4 · 2013: 2 · 2012: 3 · 2011: 1

SA finalizes budget with higher income than expected Rollover money and student activity fees contributed to the unexpected $200,000 in income to be used for various spending.

Brennen VanderVeen Student Writer Several weeks ago, The Collegian reported on SA’s tentative budget as suggested by President Haley Anderson. The finalized budget was passed on September 27 and has about $200,000 in higher income and higher spending to go along with it.

Oct. 2 12:45 a.m.

While on routine patrol University of Tulsa campus Security Officers observed two students walking in Bayless with one of the students being helped to walk buy the other.

As officers attempted to make contact with the students one fell down. Officers called out to see if they were okay. Upon seeing the officers the student started to run south towards 8th street. As the student reached Tucker Dr. they tripped and fell into the road. Officers identified the intoxicated student as being under age. Housing was contacted after the PSM spoke to the drunk student and their friend. It was determined the non-drunk student would take care of the drunk one.

1:45 a.m.

University of Tulsa campus Security Officers conducted a party shutdown at the Pi Kappa Alpha House. Officers had previously been in contact with 2 individuals who had obtained alcohol, and were under 21 years of age. Officers met with PKA leadership, and explained that the party was to be cut short. Officers cleared the building before leaving the area.

4:00 a.m.

While on routine patrol University of Tulsa campus Security Officers observed what appeared to be two individuals involved in pre-coitus. Officers called out to the couple, the couple proceeded to flee the scene. Officers stopped them and had them redress. Officers separated the couple then ascertained that one individual was an ORU student and that the other was a TU student. Both involved stated that they did not want to report the situation as an assault at the time of the report. The individual had some friends that stay on campus and they said they could stay with them. The other was taken back to their on campus residence.

11:20 a.m.

While on routine patrol University of Tulsa campus Security Officers noticed suspicious activity at a bicycle rack on the southwest side of Hardesty Hall. The individual appeared to be cutting a lock to a bicycle, then attempted to ride away but officers were able to stop the individual. Upon searching the individual officers found bolt cutters, drug paraphernalia, and methamphetamine.

Tulsa Police Department transported the individual to David L Moss Criminal Justice Center.

Oct. 3 9:30 a.m.

University of Tulsa campus Security Officers were dispatched to investigate a pos-

The higher income comes in part from a higher than expected amount from student activities fees. That brought in about $50,000 more than the $200,000 expected.

However, the bulk of the increase in revenue came from rollover money that was found unexpectedly. According to the Senate minutes, previous Executive Committees did not communicate with the business office and did not realize that some money was rolling over, so the amount of rollover this year is about $127,000 higher than expected.

Most budget items saw an increase in funding by small amounts, but a few areas

had significant increases. Sexual Assault Prevention and Awareness, which had been allotted $5,000, had its budget doubled.

International Student Relations and Diversity and Multiculturalism, which were each allotted $15,000, both saw their budgets doubled as well. Student Awareness had its budget increased from $20,000 to $30,000.

Athletics was increased from $40,000 to $50,000 in order to give more to women’s and smaller sports. Senate’s available allocations for student organizations increased by $43,000 to $313,000. TU’s Finest, a competition for the top organizations on campus, had its budget doubled to $3,000

in order to accommodate five organizations rather than three.

There was also a new budget category for “University Collaborations,” which received $30,000. The new budget category is less a new expenditure and more of a formalization of types of spending SA often does anyway. In years past, they’ve funded various miscellaneous items around campus, such as bike desks in the library and t-shirts for Activities Fair. That funding had come from “ambiguous places” in past years, but now it has a line-item under the control of the executive committee.

sible fire at University Square West Apartments. After arriving, officers were able to notice a trash can was on fire in the University Square West Apartments. Campus security officers were able to put the fire out before the flames got out of control. Tulsa Fire Department responded to the apartment and helped smother the rest of the trash can.

Minimal damage was seen to the balcony.

There was no cause to what started the fire.

TU yellow bicycles were discovered. The Sears loss prevention officer reported that the bicycles were left by three unidentified males who shoplifted from the store and ran away on foot.

discussion it was determined that the roommate had opened the window earlier in the morning. The student requested that a report be filed.

Oct. 4 11:20 p.m.

University of Tulsa campus Security Officers were dispatched to the vicinity of the Kappa Alpha Theta sorority house in reference to suspicious activity. Officers were informed that an unidentified individual wearing a clown mask was seen in the window of one of the residences inside the sorority house. A search of the area met with negative results and residents were instructed to inform Campus Security immediately upon observing future occurrences.

Oct. 6 2:45 a.m.

University of Tulsa campus Security Officers observed two individuals at a table in Albert Plaza playing cards. Officers made contact with these individuals discovering they are students and were only hanging out.

Officers explained their reasoning for making contact with them and left the area.

Oct. 7 2:35 a.m.

University of Tulsa campus Security Officers went to Mayo Village in response to an unauthorized entry of a student’s residence. Officers spoke with the student and they stated that an unidentified male entered their bedroom. Officers conducted a search for any individual matching the description in the area and were unable to locate the suspect.

6:00 p.m.

University of Tulsa campus Security Officers were called to a contract parking attendant located in the Kep-Law parking lot accepting money to allow fans to park in their area. Bike officers observed him continuing this behavior and confronted the parking attendant, who admitted to their actions. The parking supervisor was called to the scene and released the individual from employment with them. The individual was trespass banned from university property.

11:40 p.m.

University of Tulsa campus Security Officers established a perimeter at Harwell Field for the fireworks show. Two male students and one male non TU affiliate ran across the field, and placed themselves in danger. Officers made contact with all 3 individuals.

The non TU affiliate was trespass warned.

The students were discovered to be underage and intoxicated, so the party they were attending was shut down.

Oct. 8 10:30 a.m.

University of Tulsa campus Security Officers were called off campus to Sears where

12:20 a.m.

University of Tulsa campus Security Officers were dispatched to Norman Village for a window that was found open to an apartment. Upon arrival officers met with the student and a roommate. After a brief

The Collegian does not produce or edit the Campus Crime Watch except for content and brevity.

17 October 2016

Commentary

The Collegian: 7

Nobel Prize needs to recognize science is done in teams

Currently, the Nobel Prize can only be awarded to three individuals, which is out of step with today’s scientific trends.

Michaela Flonard News Editor Alfred Nobel’s will established the Nobel Prize in 1895 with four initial categories: Chemistry, Peace, Physics, and Physiology or Medicine. The Literature category was created in 1901. The Nobel Memorial Prize in Economic Sciences is actually not a part of the Nobel Foundation prizes, but is awarded by Sweden’s central bank in memory of Alfred Nobel.

This year’s prizes were awarded for diverse topics, such as “discoveries of mechanisms for autophagy,” in the Physiology or Medicine category, to “having created new poetic expressions within the great American song tradition,” awarded to Bob Dylan in Literature. But with all of these awards, a maximum number of three people were mentioned in each category.

Limiting the Nobel prize to three people per award type follows the guidelines of the award, but ignores the current reality. Mod-

graphic by Elias Brinkman

Only allowing three people on a team to receive a Nobel Prize ignores the significant contributions of many other scientists.

made equally important contributions, but will not receive the recognition that comes with winning the prize.

With the designation as a Nobel Prize winner immediately comes more recognition for your field or research. Professor Kurt Wuthrich, a 2002 Chemistry Laureate, noted “it certainly made it easier for me to establish collaborations I was interested in.” 2011 Physics winner Brian Schmidt believed it “has given me a voice that I can use on behalf of science.”

Additionally, the amount of money awarded with each prize for 2016 is 8.0 million Swedish kroner (about $900,000).

This money can be used to fund additional

“Modern science is no longer built around individuals or small teams making big breakthroughs.” ern science is done in teams, and while some members of a team may work harder than others, attributing the discovery to three people out of two teams totalling 51 scientists, as was done in the 2011 Nobel Prize in Physics, is problematic. The other 48 researchers on those teams, in that instance,

research, which, while it may not win you the Nobel prize a second time (as only four people have been multiple Nobel Laureates), can be a much needed boost for expensive research without having to endure a grant-writing process.

The Nobel Foundation could extend the

three person limit to count three organizations. This approach is not prohibited by the statues of the Foundation. In fact, the Nobel Peace Prize has long been awarded to organizations, with some, like the International Committee of the Red Cross, being recipients multiple times. Such a decision could be reflected in the sciences award, with a team being a recipient, instead of three people from that team.

Modern science is no longer built around individuals or small teams making big breakthroughs. Instead, modern scientists have become more specialized, which leads to a greater need for collaboration. As our knowledge in different fields has grown, keeping up with a field has become an increasing investment, so that the modern scientist is more likely to focus on a narrow topic compared to previous generations of scientists. Large teams, then, are necessary to answer important questions and those answers might lead to a Nobel prize. In 1960, for instance, the average number of authors on a science or engineering article was 1.9.

In 2013, that number had risen to 5.4.

A study done by Robert Aboukhalil with the Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory showed that authorship has increased five-fold since

1913, and predicted that by 2034, the average number of authors on a publication would be 8. Journals have started trying to ensure all authors made significant contributions to the paper. The Nobel Foundation could use a similar model to ensure equal, or at least significant, contributions were made by others on a large team. But this increasing trend highlights the need for change. If more scientists are involved in answering a question, because each are specialists in their own right and field, then the Nobel Foundation needs to change with the times, acknowledging that things are not the same as they were in 1901.

What outsider can decide who should get the most credit? With a group project done by students at a university, professors often assume that everyone contributed equally, and award the same grade to all. The committee might need to be more discriminating than that; perhaps act like the professor who asks for each student to grade his or her fellow students’ contributions to the project.

But continuing to use the system of only allowing three people to win ignores how the organization of science has changed.

Santos deserves Nobel Peace Prize despite treaty failure

The Nobel Peace Prize’s most recent winner just finished negotiating a peace deal that failed within his own country, but that doesn’t mean the Prize is any less deserved.

Trenton Gibbons Variety Editor

Juan Manuel Santos is the current president of Colombia, its former minister of defense, and this year’s winner of the Nobel Peace Prize. The committee made the decision based on his recent efforts to negotiate peace with the FARC, thus ending the guerrilla conflict that has raged in his country for decades. FARC, or the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia, is the country’s largest rebel faction, originating in the mid-1960s. Forming as a party of armed communists, FARC was mainly composed of farmers and laborers who subscribed to a Marxist-Leninist ideology. At their peak in 2002, the group had an active base of 20,000 fighters. Now, that number is down to an estimated 6,000. FARC targets the country’s security forces, ambushing patrols and attacking assaulting police stations and military posts. It should go without saying that these attacks, along with landmines laid by the faction, have been the cause of countless civilian deaths in Colombia.

The peace deal negotiated over the course of four years between President Santos and

FARC leader Timoleon Jimenez was rejected by Colombian voters, 50.2% of whom voted “no.” These opponents were led by none other than Santos’ predecessor, Alvaro Uribe, who has long played the hawk to Santos’ increasingly dovish nature. The deal, in its opponent’s minds, was quite literally letting FARC get away with murder by shortening the sentences its leaders would face and granting amnesty to the majority of its members. This deal, in their minds, did not provide justice to victims of the FARC’s violent actions.

The failure of the peace treaty preceded President Santos’ winning the Nobel Peace Prize, which begs the question: just what does the Peace Prize mean? Is it meant to recognize achievement, or is one of the most prestigious awards in the world often give out as an “A for effort”? I’d argue the latter, and the fact that an award recognizes hopes as much as achievement does not make it any less prestigious.

Some would argue that the peace prize is gradually losing its meaning, others are more inclined to see it as part of the global effort to preserve peace. While I’ll readily defend President Obama’s winning the prize for his anti-nuclear negotiations with Iran, the absence of Mahatma Gandhi’s name from the prize’s winners does seem odd, to say the least. Like any organization, the Nobel committee has a history of corruption and favoritism, but this history has little bearing on more recent events.

Thorbjorn Jagland, the former chairman of the Nobel Committee, has admitted that recently the award has begun to serve the role of “encouragement.” “Our mandate is to reward those who have done the most for peace over the past year,” he elaborated. “But when there is a dearth of actual peace, we have to award those are trying.”

And President Manuel Santos is certainly trying. He recently extended the ceasefire between FARC and the Colombian govern-

courtesy Wikimedia Commons

Juan Manuel Santos’ efforts to end the civil war in Colombia deserve to be rewarded, regardless of whether his goal has been completely reached.

ment. FARC has also promised to promote their ideologies through word and peaceful action alone, apologizing for their violent ways. It’s doubtful this peace will continue without an official deal, but President Santos holds out hope for Colombia, saying, “I

“The fact that an award recognizes hopes as much as achievement does not make it any less prestigious.”

hear those that said ‘no’ and those that said ‘yes’ and we all want peace...I will not give up, I will continue to fight for peace.” It is this fight that won him the peace prize, not its success or failure.

As the peace prize currently exists, it is sometimes a symbol to live up to and other times a nudge of encouragement to world leaders. Its purpose is to promote peace, not necessarily reward it. As Mahatma Gandhi, five-time nominee but never once the winner of the Peace Prize, would say, “Peace is its own reward.”

Commentary

The Collegian: 8

17 October 2016

Stop supporting discrimination as “tolerance”

Chess players refusing to wear the hijab at the world championship in Iran are correct in protesting oppressive national laws.

unfair behavior in another country with the excuse of “it’s just their culture.”

What’s more, apologists for medieval Islamic beliefs on women will insist on t h e right o f

in a country where such a practice is the norm. Who are these apologists? The list begins with everybody in the World Chess Federation (FIDE) w h o deemed it appropriate to

Justin Guglielmetti Student Writer “I will NOT wear a hijab and support women’s oppression,” were the words from Nazí Paikidze, the 22 year old GeorgianAmerican chess player who just recently announed that she would boycott the 2017 world championships scheduled to be held in Iran. Paikidze, the reigning United States women’s champion, took issue with the Iranian government’s oppressive laws against women and their insistence that the women participating in the tournament be made to wear hijabs. Far too often in the West, we ignore the marginalized groups in more regressive cultures around the world in the name of moral relativity (often mischaracterized in the broader conversation as cultural relativism) and it’s always refreshing to hear a voice like Paikidze’s standing up to the absurdity.

Let’s start here: I do not believe that the moral values of all cultures are created equally. As moral individuals, we have a duty to stand up to systemic injustice around the world wherever we see it. Though far from the only example, perhaps the most visible and frequently ignored example of this injustice is the treatment of women in much of the Islamic world, where fully half of the population (ignoring for the moment other marginalized groups such as homosexuals and non-Muslims) are treated as second-hand citizens. In addition to being forced to wear the hijab in public as a means of remaining “modest,” women in Iran are, amongst other things, not allowed to pursue a career that conflicts with their family life, prevented from leaving the country without the permission of their husband, denied testimony in certain legal cases and given half the weight of men in others, and entitled to just half the inheritance of male children upon the death of a parent. If we had just one of these stipulations written in the law books in the United States, there would be an indignant — righteous! — outrage. Yet we have collectively decided to tolerate this

graphic by Elias Brinkman

practitioners of these beliefs to impose them on innocent people who do not share them.

They believe that it is perfectly acceptable for non-Muslim women to be forced to cover themselves just because they are

schedule the championships in a country that actively discriminates against women rather than removing it from consideration entirely. And it goes on to include every person in the West, from the top down, that refuses to acknowledge the human rights issues and endemic flaws in the brand of Islam found in Iran and other comparable Muslim pseudo-theocracies. In tolerating this intolerance, we are collectively demonstrating a passive acceptance of backwards social values that should be morally repugnant to all those who believe in the ideals at the heart of Western civilization: namely, freedom and liberty.

At this point, in order to maintain my credibility it seems necessary to inform the reader that I am aware that there are differences between every Muslim country, every denomination of Islam, and every

individual practitioner of the religion, and do not mean to paint 1.6 billion people with the same negative broad brush. I also know that there are many women in Muslim countries that require head coverings, as well as many in countries that do not, who will defend the practices and insist that they are not discriminatory. But at the risk of sounding patronizing, I can’t see these beliefs as being anything other than the result of cultural brainwashing. When a woman has been brought up her whole life believing that her body is a sacred vessel viewable only by her husband, it is not surprising that she feels indecent when exposing her hair or parts of her skin. Crucially though, acceptance of bigotry and sexism does not make it invisible, and a historical examination of the veiling of women reveals that it was almost always used in conjunction with the ideas that women were either property or “indecent” if exposed, never out of a concept of self-respect. Thankfully, we have done away with those ideas in the 21st century and a practice that is still reflective of them has no place in the modern world.

How then do we combat these pernicious beliefs? The answer is not, as has often been tried by the West, to export our democracy through force, as such a plan only yields resentment and bloodshed. Nor is it to swing the pendulum in the complete opposite direction and ban Muslims or garb associated with them, as France did with the “Burkini” swimsuit, as this fearful response only indicates an intolerance equal to the one we should be combating. Instead, the only sustainable solution is reform that comes from within the Muslim world itself. Reform doesn’t come about unprovoked, however, and would in this case require either revolution or external pressure. And therein lies the role of Paikidze and other brave individuals like her.

In boycotting the world championships, Paikidze is telling the rest of the world that she will not stand for the continued persecution of women in Iran or elsewhere. Though she is just one person, her absence from the event and others that could follow her lead should act in a small way to discredit it and subsequently to convince FIDE to schedule the championships somewhere else in the future. Exclusion and ostracism from international activities in a globalized word is the first step to getting countries like Iran to change something about themselves; in short, they should be asked to keep up or be left out. Perhaps if more people followed suit at the chess championships and at other events yet to come, stopped being so accepting of regressive values and began to tell Iran and the Muslim world that women need to be treated equally, we might start seeing some actual results.

Oilfield Prayer Day isn’t the solution to Okla.’s problems

The newly created Oilfield Prayer Day is a misguided use of the time and energy of the people most able to confront the issues.

Hannah Kloppenburg Editor-in-Chief Governor Mary Fallin recently released a proclamation declaring Thursday, Oct. 13 to be “Oilfield Prayer Day.” The proclamation was initially requested by the Oilfield Christian Fellowship. Fallin’s justification for the holiday was that “there are many people suffering right now who have lost their jobs in the energy sector ... there are a lot of families who have been hurt, and I think prayer is always a good thing, for anyone.”

The official proclamation notes that “Oklahoma is blessed with an abundance of oil and natural gas,” that “Christians acknowledge such natural resources are created by God,” and that “Oklahoma recognizes the incredible economic, community and faith-based impacts demonstrated across the state by oil and natural gas companies.”

With this in mind, Fallin invites Oklahomans “to thank God for the blessing created by the oil and natural gas industry and to seek His wisdom and ask for protection.”

There’s a lot to discuss here. Sidestepping the implications of a government entity declaring a day of prayer (I’ve written previously about the separation of church and state), the fact that Mary Fallin just made up a holiday out of nowhere (as if Talk Like

a Pirate Day wasn’t enough), and the possibility of religious discrimination (Fallin amended her initial proclamation to encourage people of all faiths to celebrate the holiday), I’d like to focus on two things.

First, rather than placing our faith — literal or metaphorical — in the oil industry and hoping for things to improve, perhaps we should be looking for an alternate solution to the economic crisis and diversifying Oklahoma’s assets.

Oklahoma’s reliance on the oil industry, a strategy which was lucrative in the past, has been causing the state’s budget quite a bit of grief in recent years. A recent study by The State Chamber, an association of Oklahoma businesses and industries, shows that Oklahoma ranks fifth among states in oil and third in natural gas production. It also reports that about 27 percent of total state household earnings in the state are supported by the energy sector.

the worst budget cuts to public schools in decades. And what’s the typical response to something that isn’t working? You don’t just hope (or in this case, pray) that it’s suddenly going to improve — you change what you’re doing.

In no way do I intend this as an insult to those who genuinely believe in the power of prayer. Rather, it’s my opinion that change necessitates action. The state government is the body in Oklahoma that is directly responsible for that sort of action. Rather than encouraging Oklahomans to hope and pray for change, it should be actively searching for solutions to incite that change.

In this case, that means searching out alternatives that will bolster Oklahoma’s economy. Though I’m far from an expert in economics, I’d like to suggest a few potential solutions. Perhaps Oklahoma could invest in the production of alternative energy solutions like wind energy (which is already

“Change necessitates action. The state government...is directly responsible for that sort of action.”

Recent dips in oil prices have taken a great toll on the industry, and consequently, the state’s budget. Tom Seng, assistant professor of Energy Business at TU, told NewsOn6 in January that the price of a barrel of oil has “gone from around $100 to $30,” in the past 18 months or so. Additionally, oil barons continue to enjoy tax breaks up to $470 million (as of 2015) despite the falling oil prices. According to NewsOn6, all this has resulted in that “the market is flooded with supply without an equivalent demand.”

Seng continued to say that the current climate is a shock, and while it’s hard to predict the future of the oil industry, it’s not likely to change in the near future.

This would seem to indicate long-term financial issues for Oklahomans and for the state government, including some of

part of the state’s energy industry) or solar energy. Alternatively, some of those tax breaks applied to oil moguls (which don’t seem to have helped much) could be reallocated to some of Oklahoma’s other major industries — information and finance, transportation and distribution, agriculture and biosciences, or aerospace and defense — in an effort to diversify the state’s assets.

Second, if Fallin wants to encourage Oklahomans to pray, there’s a lot of more pressing issues that we could be praying for besides the oil industry.

The idea of praying for a material industry seems adverse in itself, and is almost uncomfortable in its reverence towards the oilfields. To be fair, I’m not a native Oklahoman, and the oil industry has never been a particularly pressing or relevant part of

my life, but something about praying for the success of an industry seems off, especially when suggested by a government official.

Bruce Prescott, the retired Norman minister who successfully sued for the removal of the Ten Commandments monument from the Oklahoma Capitol grounds, summed up my thoughts on the subject very well: “There are a lot of things that could be prayed about in this state, and the oil field is not at the top of that list.”

A couple things that could do with a little prayer in the state of Oklahoma: Oklahoma ranks among the unhealthiest states in the nation, according to OKPolicy. A large percentage of Oklahomans are uninsured and don’t have access to reliable healthcare.

Also according to OKPolicy, the number of adults receiving welfare in Oklahoma is smaller than the number of women in Oklahoma prisons. As of 2015, the state’s teen pregnancy rate is the third highest in the country. Our schools are facing some of the most drastic budget cuts in the country and some have reverted to four-day weeks because they don’t have the funding to keep utilities running for five. There are about 270,000 Oklahomans living in extreme poverty and Oklahoma’s poverty level has been compared by The New York Times to that of a third world country (I acknowledge that this and the school budget issues are symptoms of the economic crisis. Refer to the first section of this article). I could go on.

I recognize Fallin’s proclamation as an attempt to identify with Oklahoma’s majority Christian population, as any sensible politician would probably do. I also recognize that the proclamation was probably made in an effort to provide hope to constituents in an uncertain economic climate.

However, the state government’s energy would be much better spent on actively searching out solutions for Oklahoma’s financial crisis and encouraging Oklahomans to consider the plethora of human rights issues that are occurring in their own state.

17 October 2016

Commentary

The Collegian: 9

Overthrowing Obama’s veto dangerous for Saudi relations

Allowing the families of 9/11 victims to sue the Saudi Arabian government is dangerous for U.S. foreign relations and policy.

Nathan Gibbons Distribution Manager A couple weeks ago, Congress overrode a veto put forth by Obama for the first time in his presidency. President Obama sought to block legislation that would allow victims of the 9/11 attacks to sue the Saudi Arabian government for its alleged role in aiding the attackers. The override itself is controversial, let alone the legislation, and both deserve some examination.

The bill amends a 1976 law that grants nations immunity from American lawsuits and was the result of a bipartisan effort in the House and Senate to allow the families of those killed in 9/11 to sue the Saudi Arabian government. Legislators hoped it would both bring peace to those seeking justice and remind the kingdom of the United States’ seriousness in the war against terrorism. However, in the world of international politics, the nicest decision may not be the best one.

When the bill continued gaining momentum in April, Saudi Arabia threatened economic fallout. With impending lawsuits that could lead to acquisition of property, the kingdom could sell hundreds of billions of American dollars worth of assets. Though an actual sell never occurred and would likely have thrown Saudi Arabia into economic turmoil, the claim highlights the tension between the U.S. and the kingdom. Saudi Ara-

courtesy Wikimedia Commons

President Obama’s veto was meant to maintain international relations, but senators and representatives are placing more value on the opinions of Americans.

bia has long been one of the United States’ greatest connections to the Middle East, so the Obama administration hoped to avoid creating friction with the kingdom. White House officials also worry that the bill could open the door for foreign countries to strip American agents of their legal immunity as well. Obama released a statement claiming his administration remains loyal to those

Chumer, a Democrat from New York who helped write the legislation, said “This bill is near and dear to my heart as a New Yorker, because it would allow the victims of 9/11 to pursue some small measures of justice, finally giving them a legal avenue to pursue foreign sponsors of the terrorist attack that took from the lives of their loved ones.” A group of 9/11 victims’ families

“Losing an ally like Saudi Arabia... would be a huge loss in the U.S.’ Middle East policy-making strategy.” who lost loved ones in the 9/11 attacks, but that the bill would cause too much damage to international relations.

On the idealist side of things, this bill stands on a pedestal of triumph. Bipartisan action of this magnitude is uncommon, especially so near an election. Senator Chuck

wrote President Obama an open letter imploring him not to “slam the door shut and abandon” them with his veto. Many representatives, Democrat or Republican, stand by the notion that they’re fulfilling their duty to American citizens.

On a more realistic note, the Obama ad-

ministration probably has a point. After the vote, nearly thirty senators expressed reservations about consequences in a letter stating that the United States could face lawsuits from retaliatory nations “as a result of important military or intelligence activities” Losing an ally like Saudi Arabia, whether or not there is some truth to the possibility of some of their officials’ involvement in the attacks, would be a huge loss in the U.S.’ Middle East policy-making strategy. The House and Senate probably thought they had U.S. citizens’ greatest interests in mind, but they’re looking at the short game. It’s President Obama’s job to work the long game for America’s best interests as a nation, and he acted accordingly when he first proposed the veto. International negotiations are fragile and should not be risked over unsubstantial matters such as these lawsuits, no matter how emotional they may be to some.

Candidate Twitters are an important tool

Using Twitter allows presidential candidates to connect with a younger generation of Americans who are leaving older media.

Nathan Hinkle Student Writer In the race for the presidency, a new form of media has become increasingly important to all sides of the political spectrum — presidential candidates’ Twitter pages. These Twitter pages are evolving into one of the most influential tools used by candidates today. Twitter pages are important because of two primary reasons: the prospect of new audiences and the general evolution of technology over time.

One of the biggest reasons that presidential candidates’ Twitter pages are impactful is the potential new audience that it reaches.

As older forms of media lose their appeal for newer generations, the process of adapting to a new media allows you to maintain voting support in the younger population. This is especially true according to the Nielsen Report, a company that puts together TV ratings, which stated that the amount of TV 18 to 24 year olds watch has dropped by 38% since 2011. As more people stop using certain forms of media, it is advantageous to take advantage of this lost audience.

One might argue that Twitter’s low character count causes political discourse to be distilled into small talking points rather than the large, complex problems they are trying to convey. The problem with this thinking is that it is a dual-sided problem. A character limit can also cut away unnecessary political rhetoric. Instead of a long speech filled with useless terminology, Twitter has the ability to force politicians to get down to what they think is important.

The other negative argument against media forms like Twitter is that the candidates are trying too hard to be cool in the current time period. There is a large difference be-

tween randomly throwing in popular media like Pokemon Go in an over-calculated attempt to stay relevant and using the latest tools available to someone. This belief sets a dangerous precedent because eventually we will be forever stuck in the past and unable to progress without fear.

To put this into perspective, you can look back in history to any number of presidents who pushed forward their candidacy by adopting new forms of media. This could

tucollegian@tucollegian.org editor-in-chief

Hannah Kloppenburg managing editor

Kayleigh Thesenvitz news editor

Michaela Flonard sports editor

Matt Rechtien variety editor

Trenton Gibbons commentary editor

James Whisenhunt satire editor

Sam Chott photo & graphics editor

Elias Brinkman

business & advertising manager

Paul Moses web manager

Sam Chott

distribution managers

graphic by Elias Brinkman

Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump both actively use Twitter to publicize their stances on issues and reach a younger audience of voters.

include presidents such as Bill Clinton with MTV and John F. Kennedy with TV over Richard Nixon. They both adapted toward the future technologies at hand. These events and many before them have established a precedent that will head forward into the future. New forms of media such as Twitter will become increasingly important as time goes on. In an attempt to reach out to an audience, you must follow them into the future or be lost in the past.

Nathan Gibbons, Adam Lux and Trenton Gibbons

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the Collegian: 10

Variety

17 October 2016

courtesy Circle Cinema

The notorious monster returns in a reboot that ditches some of the series’ sillier antics for more grounded political commentary.

Trenton Gibbons Variety Editor For all the contentious arguments made in “Shin Godzilla,” the oft-repeated observation that Japan is a country that has been “scrapped and rebuilt” should ring true for most viewers. The same is true for the Godzilla franchise itself, as its newest reboot sees it taking a definitive turn from the silly, escapist antics of more recent entries.

“Shin Godzilla”’s images of city-wide destruction might not resemble the ‘disaster porn’ you’d find in a Michael Bay film, or any one of DC’s latest superhero flops.

That’s because here, the film is more interested in the chaos a walking nuclear catastrophe could wreak on a system of bureaucrats than the physical destruction it would cause on the environment around it.

This is reflected in the film’s choice of protagonists. As opposed to the groundlevel heroics of Gareth Edward’s 2014 “Godzilla” or — God forbid — Roland Emmerich’s “Godzilla 2000”, the main cast this time around is comprised of politicians, not soldiers. Much of the action in this film comes from their heated discussions and efforts to navigate the red-tape and frustrating

inaction that is inherent in their line of work.

None of this means that “Shin Godzilla” is devoid of disastrous imagery. When Godzilla first crawls onto land, it pushes a wave of debris before it, floundering on top of buildings until they topple over. The midpoint of the film also marks its high point, as a U.S.-led airstrike backfires terribly, resulting in destruction as devastating as it was visually appealing.

Being a fan of Director Hideaki Anno’s

aspect that causes much of the resemblance to become a bit laughable.

“Shin Godzilla” had my theater’s audience laughing constantly, and only rarely with it. Much of this has to do with the surprising prevalence of English dialogue. On the topic of having to learn to pronounce her English lines, actress Satomi Ishihara said, “Sometimes it’s so frustrating, I just want to cry.” Unfortunately, this shows, though her effort is a bit more valiant than some.

“The film is more interested in the chaos a walking nuclear catastrophe could wreak on a system of bureaucrats than the physical destruction it would cause.”

previous works, this was largely unsurprising. If that name didn’t mean anything to you, there’s a chance this won’t either: “Shin Godzilla” seemed at times to be a live-action episode of Anno’s notorious “Neon Genesis Evangelion”. Save the lack of mechas and themes of adolescent existentialism, and you’re left with an incredible overlap of governmental agents tackling a very unprecedented attack.

If meeting rooms full of suited men watching grimly as Godzilla shrugs off the military’s barrages isn’t familiar enough, “Evangelion”’s soundtrack occasionally sneaks its way into the film. I welcomed most of these similarities; it’s the live-action

Most of the Japanese actors’ English lines were so unintelligible I found myself continuing to rely on subtitles. On the other hand, the English-speaking actors sprinkled throughout the film seemed to lack conviction in their delivery, especially for the overwrought vocabulary.

The prevalent use of English stems from the movie’s interest in the political relationship between Japan and the U.S., which I’d argue it tackled rather maturely. Early in the film the Japanese Prime Minister voices his irritation that the United States would attempt to dictate the Japanese government’s response to the monster, but is thankful for the humanitarian and militaristic support

he’s receiving because of it. The U.S. is neither infallible nor demonized in the film — just another aspect of an incredibly complicated bureaucracy.

This ambiguous dynamic of the film reaches its peak when America announces its plan to nuke Tokyo in an attempt to stop Godzilla. The irony of a third nuclear attack by the U.S. on Japan is not lost on the characters any more than it will be the audience.

“Shin Godzilla”’s greatest flaw is its anticlimax, and not because it’s an anticlimax.

The true final fight can be found in the diplomatic effort to save Tokyo; the scene that follows afterward, detailing the politicians’ actual plan to defeat Godzilla, borders on parody.

Godzilla emerged in Japan as an embodiment of the horrors of the nuclear holocaust.

The metaphor worked, as the creature itself was an unstoppable, unrepentant force of destruction. But over time it became a pop culture icon, comically grappling with any other giant being, be they extraterrestrial or mythic in origin, who made the mistake of challenging his status as the “King of Monsters”. Here Godzilla was more about escapism than anything else, about watching men in rubber suits fight over model cities while playing heroic anthems (which the newest film tactfully reuses).

While there was nothing inherently wrong with this direction for the series, it’s admirable to see Godzilla return to its roots as a franchise, blending new and old for something which is, if nothing else, unique.

Despite small crowd, Deerhunter kills at Cain’s

Deerhunter’s recent woefully underpopulated concert pleases ears and changes hearts.

Ethan Veenker Student Writer

On the night of October 7, 2016, Cain’s Ballroom in Downtown Tulsa was far too empty. After the doors opened, the thirty or so of us who had lined up outside began to shuffle inside. Someone asked to bum a lighter. The bouncer scanned our tickets. We were in.

The lights were on, someone had music playing from their “Indie Rock Playlist” on Spotify over the speakers. Grabbing the opportunity, we all staked our claims up against the stage, unwilling to move in the fear that our great spot may be taken. Thirty minutes later a collection of kind-of-odd looking dudes came out and began tinkering with the instruments onstage. What was originally mistaken as the Cain’s crew setting the stage up for the opener actually was the opener: Jock Gang.

Their set began and my ears were immediately blown. All I could hear was a soft squeal that was slowly rising in pitch, and I loved it. I covered my ears in panic and admiration all at once as I gasped at the noises these weird-looking dudes on stage were making. Jock Gang is what I would call harsh-art-noise rock. Two guitarists, a drummer, a bassist, and a percussionist made up the lineup of the band that night, and although there were only a handful of apathetic-looking people in the crowd, Jock Gang seemed to really enjoy themselves up on stage.

It was like an assault on the senses. Every atom in my body told me to run from the monstrosity that was performing, but I couldn’t help but love it. Harsh, extremely loud guitar-driven noise reverberated throughout the room to the point that you might feel confined and constricted by it, like it was going to wrap around you and choke the life out of you. The rhythm section was on point, something to easily bob my head to as the noise spiraled everupward. Towards the end of their set there

was a particularly good song that included a sort of call-and-response between the two guitarists. The only regret I had about the set was that I couldn’t hear the vocals. I could barely even make out that there were organic noises being formed from the mass of sound. Eventually, though, the group left the stage.

Another half-hour of silence ensued.

More people had begun filing in; the previous number of occupants had doubled. The smell of marijuana became scantily detectable. Eventually a sort of quaint woman walked out onstage. I made the same mistake of assuming that she was part of the Cain’s stage crew, but when she grabbed a stool and sat down with an acoustic guitar I was proven wrong yet again.

It was Aldous Harding, a singer-songwriter from New Zealand. The previous set had all our ears ringing, so whoever had the idea to put a soft acoustic set next was an absolute genius. Harding herself seemed to be having a hard time initially. As she strummed her guitar and played her first song — alone, just her guitar and her voice — she seemed to twitch and stutter at points. I kept hearing murmurs of “She’s totally on something.”

As her first song ended a stage attendant tapped her by the shoulder so he could fix something on her microphone, causing her

A few mixing problems and a dwindling audience size couldn’t ruin an excellent show.

this?” referring to her shirt. We could.

“Good,” came the response.

Eventually, though, that set ended too.

Another half hour passed before the lights dimmed. The in-between-sets music was turned off and a wave of silence filled the room. Figures began rustling around on stage, messing with guitars and wires. Eventually the lights came back on to reveal every member of Deerhunter except the eccentric frontman Bradford Cox assembled on stage. As the first song began, however, he

“Deerhunter’s latest album has received a fair amount of flak for being a little too uncreative... (but) translates to the live stage with an excellence that I can’t begin to describe.” to jump. She was extremely timid, embarrassed almost.

Yet, as the set went on, she opened up more and more. Her songs began to have more power, eliciting this visceral sense of freak folk. She would shudder and shake at emotional points in her songs. Long, high notes were paired with her eyes grotesquely rolling back into her head. Eventually another touring member came out to assist on keyboard, and by that point she had grown completely comfortable with us, going so far as to ask “Can you guys see through

made his entrance. Dressed like John Lennon from the neck up with a long-brimmed hat and those trademark glasses, he deviated a bit from that look with the almost AirForce-like jumpsuit he was wearing.

Then he began singing. “Fading Frontier,” Deerhunter’s latest album, has been receiving a fair amount of flak for being a little too vanilla and uncreative. It translates to the live stage, however, with an excellence that I can’t begin to describe. While the same mixing problems from earlier with Jock Gang were still present — i.e. the vocals couldn’t be heard — the songs were

courtesy Deerhunter

recognizable at face value. As the band got more into it and into it the fade-outs dragged on and on in thick walls of noise, oozing with a backing rhythm that the absolutely in-sync drummer and bassist never ceases to provide. The set was absolutely amazing, to put it bluntly. It was completely unrecognizable from anything the group had ever recorded in a studio.

It was over way too quickly, though.

The encore did come, however, and legitimately lasted longer than the original set. It was where Deerhunter was unafraid to get crazy with it and there was never a moment where a noise wasn’t being made. Between the heavily altered guitars and the warped saxophone, it became clear just why noiserock was a genre. The energy behind it was incredible. The crowd had grown to a ripe 300 heads by now, and had they not all been there I feel as though I would have regressed back a few evolutionary stages with just the movements I would have made in dance.

And that is a very good thing.

The encore dragged and dragged, prompting the drummer to even leave the stage prematurely, but Bradford took over for him. Before the night was over he had sung, played guitar, drummed, and played the keyboard. He may be the best showman I’ve had the pleasure of witnessing and his show left me so stunned that I took only one line of notes in my phone for later reference: I will remember that.

Variety

17 October 2016

the Collegian: 11

“Concerts with Commentary” impressive but uninformative TU professors’ recent performance of Schubert’s “Die schöne Müllerin” was impressive and enjoyable, although the titular commentary was sidelined.

James Whisenhunt Commentary Editor Last Thursday night, The TU School of Music’s “Concerts with Commentary” series continued with a performance of Franz Schubert’s 1824 song cycle “Die schöne Müllerin.” As I entered the Meinig Recital Hall, I immediately noticed that the venue was close to full, and an extra row of chairs was being placed at the front to accommodate the high attendance.

“Die schöne Müllerin,” translated to “The Lovely Mill-Maiden,” is based on the writings of German poet Wilhelm Müller.

The work tells the story of a wandering musician who falls in love with a young girl.

His love is not reciprocated by the girl, who is instead attracted to a hunter, leading the wanderer to drown himself in the brook that led him to the girl.

This story, with plenty of intricacies that I didn’t detail here, is told in a series of 20 short pieces. The work was written and performed in German, but English translations were provided with the program. The pieces showcase a full range of emotions and levels of intensity. One track may feel joyous and triumphant, while the next song can analyze the same situation or symbol with a much more somber tone.

These emotions were expertly portrayed in TU’s performance of Schubert’s work.

The work only features a piano and a single vocalist, roles filled by Brady McElligott and Dr. Kim Childs, respectively. McElligott and Childs are both professors of music at TU, and their expertise was evident throughout the course of the concert.

McElligott’s piano performance was impressive, to say the least. The piano music Schubert wrote doesn’t feel like a simple background accompaniment, but acts as a partner in the process with its own humor, personality and moments in the spotlight.

McElligott portrayed all of these intricacies beautifully, being able to shift seamlessly between quick repetitions of chords into slower melodic moments as the song cycle called for it. Often, the piano had an introduction before the vocals began, and he was

able to convey the emotion of each piece before Childs came in.

Speaking of Childs, his tenor sounded clear and expressive throughout the song cycle. Even in repeating the same line, Childs would once sing in full voice and once hold back and sing in a softer voice, giving the line a different feeling each time.

Often, his body would move and sway with the music, presumably to give him more control over his voice, but it also meant the audience’s eyes were drawn to him throughout the work.

I don’t speak German, but judging from what I have heard, Childs’ diction sounded like a crisp and accurate pronunciation of the language. Following the vocals with the provided translations, the emotions contained in Müller’s poetry were clearly conveyed. As the wanderer goes through his journey of love and rejection, so does Childs, with masterful precision.

The concert as a whole was relatively short, lasting just barely over an hour. Despite this, the event didn’t feel rushed, and it meant Schubert’s song cycle certainly didn’t overstay its welcome, instead moving through the story at a steady pace. Unfortunately, part of the reason the event moved quickly was because the commentary wasn’t integrated into the performance.

Instead, along with the program was a frontand-back page of commentary on the creation, themes, and symbols of the song cycle. Reading the commentary after the work made me appreciate things that I didn’t recognize while listening to the cycle, which makes me wish even more that it was a more integrated part of the experience.

After the concert, Dr. Childs explained that the commentary was placed on paper because past events in the series had run long due to extended segments of commentary on the works. This decision worked for “Die schöne Müllerin,” as it is one continuous song cycle, so it was nice to not have long interruptions between pieces.

However, the commentary going mostly unacknowledged in the event itself left me feeling a bit disappointed. Of course, running long isn’t a desired outcome, but perhaps just giving small snippets of the commentary or pointing out things on the sheet that are relevant to the next piece would help integrate the two elements while keeping the event on time. Despite this issue, the music was very enjoyable, and perhaps later events in the series will try different strategies to integrate its two major components.

Students, local actors read screenplays at film festival

The event helped display the talents of TU’s burgeoning film department.

University of Tulsa professor Michael Wright directed four short screenplay readings by local actors and TU students at the second annual Tulsa American Film Festival.

Amy Bailey Student Writer

The Tulsa American Film Festival returned for its second year, with a heavy emphasis on Native American films and short student works. The five-day festival included panels, after-parties, and a variety of short and feature length films in both documentary and narrative style. It was held at Circle Cinema, The Woody Guthrie Center, and Gilcrease Museum.

TU professor and playwright Michael Wright directed four short screenplay readings employing local actors and a handful of TU students for the festival. The four short film screenplay choices were “Piblokto” by Christine Tucker, “Squalor” by Sam Gill, “’Til the End of Summer” by Brian Du, and “Death’s Lady Love” by Steven M. Hunt.

Brian Du, the writer of “’Til the End of Summer” is a University of Tulsa alumnus.

Brian Du’s “’Til the End of Summer” is a harrowing story about two sisters with terminal diseases attempting to fold one thousand origami paper cranes to receive good health and fortune. The story combined deep family relationships with ancient leg-

courtesy Wikimedia Commons

end. Tori Gellman, a film minor at the University of Tulsa, read for the character Yuki.

Gellman said that she had the opportunity to speak to Brian Du, the writer, before the reading. Professor Michael Wright reached out to her to do the reading, and that she was excited to participate in the festival and eager to try out a new aspect of the filmmaking process.

Professor Michael Wright was a judge on the panel for short screenplays this year and was in charge of the public readings. Last year, he’d been similarly involved, judging instead short and feature length films.

For the readings this year Wright wanted to meet new actors to bring them into the festival. He ended up being very pleased with the performances and said that even though some of the readers were new to public speaking he felt they did a wonderful job. Professor Wright also said that his main focus was casting, and that if you “get the right actor/voice for the role [then] everything else follows easily.” His only hope for next year is that all of the screenwriters will be able to attend to see their works read to an audience. Wright noted that the addition of the public readings was “a great new aspect of the festival” and that he “was really proud to direct.”

The short screenplay reading not only showcased the screenwriting talent coming out of the film department, but also the talent of Professor Wright and the cast of local actors and TU students. The event came together well and was a great addition to the Tulsa American Film Festival.

Tulsans share their scary stories in themed event

Many of the stories deviated from shocks in order to ellicit laughter instead.

Ghost stories, creepy crawlies and sinister children amused and frightened audiences at Ok, So’s October storytelling event.

Michaela Flonard News Editor

Last Thursday, Ok, So held a “creepy story slam,” in which audience members were invited to come to the stage and tell a five-minute story relating to the theme.

Since 2013, each month, Ok, So holds an event with a pre-chosen theme, in which audiences tell a true story from their lives At the end of the night, prizes were awarded for best story and best runner-up; works were judged on theme, length, content, believability and delivery.

The setting of the event seemed incompatible with the theme itself. The IDL Ballroom, where the event was held, was decorated with white furniture, and shimmery drapes and jewels hung from the ceiling.

These decorations, intentional or not, made the event more classy and mature, which clashed with the supposedly ‘creepy’ theme which the event had adopted.

Everyone was encouraged to sign up for the ten storytelling slots, and while not all of them were filled, some grew braver, partly due to liquid courage, as the night progressed. Even those who weren’t telling a story were encouraged to submit a short passage of the creepiest thing they’d experienced or done.

As one woman went around collecting short passages, she told me, when I initially couldn’t think of an instance, that every woman had at least one creepy story. And these short passages, which were read in between competing storytellers, often featured some sort of instance that would be termed sexual assault. Donald Trump was also another common topic of the short passages.

A few of these notecards hinted at a good tale just waiting to be expanded upon, but audiences were left waiting for explanation or resolution.

The winner of the previous month kicked off the night, and took a twist on the theme.

Instead of featuring a story that was creepy as in scary, he told a story of his various encounters with creepy crawlies — bugs. His tale of accidentally inhaling moths, eating maggot-filled rice and a tick bite in a private place left the audience rolling with laughter.

Humor was not what I was expecting when attending a “Creepy Story Slam,” but he demonstrated creativity in his interpretation of the theme.

Funny stories continued throughout the night, but most of these involved some sort of ghost or spirit. One young woman described being chased by three cloaked figures while wandering through an alley in Muskogee, remarking that, after that experience, she never visited that friend again.

Most of the stories had directly happened to the speaker, but one young woman told a story that had happened to her father that she’d been told as a child. Her story involved an entity entering his trailer when he was alone one night. It reminded me of traditional campfire tales — and this had been relayed to her as one — where the creepy instance had happened to a friend of a friend.

One of the most depressing stories was told by one of the cofounders of Ok, So, Branda Jean Piersall. As a longtime hospice

courtesy Facebook / Ok, So

nurse, her story involved one of her patients, who suffered from a gruesome head wound caused by skin cancer. At first it was just a graphic description of how the cancer ate away at his flesh, but the story abruptly turned tragic when she pondered what had happened in his life to cause him to die alone. But the next participant, who ended up winning the slam, told a funny enough story to wash away the black mood.

The winning story was told by a first-time participant, who started off by admitting to seeing a large, dark figure staring at him some nights. The figure was him, in the mirror. This set the pace for the rest of his night.

He told tales of his children, especially his stepdaughter, who he painted as creepy through a variety of interactions. As a large, self-described as potentially scary, black man, his tales of being frightened by his stepdaughter’s nightly antics, like screaming and then claiming ignorance, became even funnier.

The runner-up story was delivered by a participant who was actually studying storytelling. Her story of living near a cemetery and how she dealt with a ghost that was inhabiting her home was relatable. Instead of freaking out about the ghost, she decided to cohabitate, until she realized she was being a “ghost-enabler” and had to help him move on. Her hand gestures and method of speaking betrayed ease. Her tale seemed like something a friend would tell you over coffee.

The night finished with a story by Ryan Howell, one of the organizers of the event.

He offered a change of pace, as he wove a tale of himself being creepy, rather than experiencing a creepy event. But while his tale of shooting out the neighboring sorority girl’s windows in his lederhosen, and her reaction, could’ve come across as uncomfortably creepy, his delivery ensured audiences saw the story as a hilarious tale of drunken, unintentional mishaps.

All three of the organizers added their story to the night, which was unusual, according to Michelle Sisemore Bias, one of the cofounders. Generally, they get enough storytellers to avoid doing so. She encouraged first-timers to tell their tale, remarking that storytellers grow with experience. Although she estimated that only about 10-20 percent of the audience could be constituted as regulars, she said she’s seen people improve their storytelling as they compete, learning how to keep audiences engaged and interested.

Ok So is working on expanding their organization. They will start doing stories on the local NPR station soon, and have already done events in different towns as well.

The organizers are also considering doing a tour of local colleges, which would include TU. Before they do so, they’re trying to gauge the interest level of college students. As they’ve recently moved locations to IDL, which allowed them to lower the age restriction to 18 instead of 21 years old, Michelle reported that 18-20 year olds have constituted an important part of their storytellers each event.

For those interested in attending or participating in future Ok So events, they are holding a slam with the theme of “Siblings” on Nov 10, at 8pm at the IDL Ballroom. Nov 19, at 7 pm and 9pm at the Comedy Parlor, adults will be reading their teenage diaries in an event called “Dear Diary.” Events are usually monthly.

the Collegian: 12

Variety

17 October 2016

Nimrod Conference inspires, aids writing enthusiasts The annual Nimrod Writing Conference reached out to Tulsan writers with a number of workshops, speeches and other events celebrating literature.

Claudia Conaway Student Writer

This year’s Nimrod Writers Conference kicked off on Friday night at the Lorton Performance Center. There, guests watched the 38th annual awards ceremony for the Nimrod Literary Award winners, with each winner presented by one of the two judges for Nimrod this year, authors Angela Flournoy and Robin Coste Lewis. Flournoy presented the Katherine Anne Porter Prize for Fiction.

Ruth Knafo Setton, the author of “Swamp Girl”, won second place in this award, and Chad B. Anderson, author of “Maidencane” won first place. Lewis gave out the Pablo Neruda Prize for Poetry. Bryce Emley won second place for his poem “My Father’s Paralysis Speaks to Him” and Markham Johnson received first place for his collection of poems “Greenwood Burning: Tulsa, Oklahoma, 1921.” Johnson is the first Tulsan to win a literary award from Nimrod.

The awards ceremony was followed up by an “Author Chat” co-hosted by Booksmart Tulsa with Flournoy and Lewis. Flournoy is the author of finalist for the 2015 National Book Award “The Turner House” and a teacher at University of Iowa, The New School, and Columbia University. Lewis won the National Book Award for Poetry with her collection “Voyage of the Sable Venus.” She holds an M.F.A in poetry from New York University and an M.T.S. in Sanskrit and comparative religious literature from the Divinity School at Harvard. After introducing themselves, the two authors were asked to list five books they would take to a deserted island. Their answers were fun to hear and the conversations between the two stemming from the question showcased their immense and intimate literary knowledge. Among the books chosen by Flournoy were “Beloved” by Toni Morrison, “Directed by Desire” by June Jo rdan, and “To The Lighthouse” by Virginia Woolf. Among the books Lewis chose were “Their Eyes Were Watching God” by Zora Neale Hurston and “The Mahabharata” translated by J. A. B. van Buitenen. Afterwards, books from all the guest authors of this year’s Nimrod

For over half a century, the Nimrod International Journal has promoted literature and assisted up-and-coming writers.

awards were available to buy on the spot and Flournoy and Lewis offered book signings to guests.

On Saturday, workshops of varying writing styles and panels regarding the ins and outs of the publishing business were held in the ACAC and Keplinger Hall. Registrants chose between two panels first thing in the morning, “Rules of Writing” or “Editing and Publishing: Q & A”. The latter was hosted

by Nimrod Editor-in-Chief Eilis O’Neal and

A question regarding how the writers choose what feedback to take and what to ignore was posed. Honum stressed the reliance on a “gut-check” system. She listens to criticism, but always comes back to her own literary aesthetics to choose what to change in her writing and what to keep. Yovanoff gave a similar answer, saying that it’s more important to understand what the feedback is really asking for and to create a solution on your own instead of following one that a

“Johnson replied that one should be willing to persist when the piece of writing is worth fighting for.” held by a panel consisting of writers Chad B. Anderson, Chloe Honum, Beth Kephart, Breanna Yovanoff, Markham Johnson, and Will Thomas.

There was no lack of questions posed by the audience, and some great pieces of advice regarding agents and the secrets to book publishing were given out by the authors. When asked how to attract a publisher’s attention, Thomas answered that “timing” is everything, so your genre of writing may be just what the publisher is looking for, or it might not be. Kephart emphasized the importance of making the first five to fifteen pages of a manuscript look appealing to a potential publisher.

criticism might recommend. One audience member asked how the writers know when it’s time to let go of a work that keeps getting rejected and when to know to keep trying to get it published. Anderson answered that it lies in your own belief, saying he gives up when he no longer believes in the work any longer or when his writing has changed drastically. Johnson replied that one should “be willing to persist” when the piece of writing is worth fighting for.

When a member of the audience inquired if Thomas had stopped writing for pleasure and instead wrote only for compensation, he answered that he “still write[s] for fun.” He is always working on three books, the manu-

courtesy University of Tulsa

script that came back from editing, the book he’s writing now, and the dream book he loves writing. The panel concluded after an hour of questioning, and the writers left listeners with a few pieces of advice. Thomas urged people to send out manuscripts, saying “You won’t know if it will get published or not until you send them out.” Johnson and Yovanoff both stressed the essentiality of reading to becoming a better writer. Addtionally, Honum said that “grit and persistence” should be qualities kept close in the quest for publishing. Anderson advised that you surround yourself with supportive and creative people.

Morning and afternoon classes covering publishing, dialogue, poetry, memoir, romance, commercial fiction, setting, photography, mystery, and fantasy were held in Keplinger, with a break for lunch and readings by Flournoy and Lewis. The classes were held by guest authors published in Nimrod and included writing exercises that helped students either start a piece of writing or further develop a piece already begun.

For those who submitted work beforehand, there were one-on-one editing sessions with Nimrod editors after classes were over.

There were also readings and book signings in the Chouteau room. The weekend and the workshops were concluded, but students will take the skills and inspiration gained into their writing forever.

Red Scare Book Fair houses Bon Iver’s new album departs from old sound counter-culture literature

Despite the event’s humble nature, the Red Scare Book Fair, hosted in the Nightingale Theater, offered a wide range of contentious and interesting material.

Trenton Gibbons Variety Editor

Last weekend was the Red Scare Book Fair, a kind of quietly rebellious event hosted in the Nightingale Theater. Like many events hosted by the Red Scare Collective, the event’s Facebook page describes it one word as “educational” and in several hundred more as promoting “anarchist, communist, and other radical-left ideas.”

When we rather foolishly tried to pay at the door, a volunteer outside said that there was no fee but that donations were encouraged. “After all,” he said, “we’re spreading culture here, guys!”

The book fair itself was a rather humble affair, the volunteers who’d organized the event often outnumbering the visiting crowd. Scattered across the tables was a collection that was undoubtedly abstract, more united in controversy than it was any central political message.

The first items to catch my eye were a collection of unorthodox self-help pamphlets. Where one of these pamphlets was intended to help the reader deal with anxiety, another was simply titled, “How to Not Kill Yourself” and another centered around “navigating friendship break-ups.” Much to my surprise, I found the works of H.P. Lovecraft, who popularized cosmic horror, to be in nearly as large a supply as that of radical gonzo journalist and general misanthrope Hunter S. Thompson.

Counter-culture seemed to be the prevailing theme here; nevermind how exactly the author went about the countering. I can imagine a sizable portion of these books had been banned at one point or another, especially those which explicitly promoted extreme left values. Certainly I found my-

self disagreeing with many of the authors in the room, but I suppose one of the tenets of the fair was to expose people to contentious views and opinions.

Chief amongst these for myself were a couple instructional books written by Cuban revolutionary Che Guevara. I’ve tried my best to convince disinterested crowds that Che, who you’ve probably seen on tshirts, was no better than the fascists he was opposing. Yet it was almost pleasing to see his work in the book fair, as if it proved just how uncensored and unfiltered the selection of literature was. Morbid curiosity even drove me to buy his book detailing the intricacies of guerilla warfare.

Nestled in the corner of the room was a table simply labeled “Propaganda???” This, I suppose, was where the educational aspect of the event came in, as there were several examples of propaganda ranging from America’s monstrous depiction of Nazi’s in WWII to a Ronald Reagan ad which simply reads, “The time is now.” Previously, a member of the Red Scare collective had promised the propaganda section would feature books, games, and films, so I was a little disappointed by the limited display.

When it came time to charge us for the books we’d chosen, among them a politically-charged anthology of unconventional poetry and a supposed exposé on the government’s worst secrets, JFK and UFOs included, the vendors were surprisingly relaxed. One man undercharged us for every item we purchased, to the point that I had to urge him to let me pay him the listed price.

In the end, the book fair really was focused on its content, not its presentation.

That’s not to say there wasn’t something oddly charming about a dark, circus-like theater occupied by a variety of polite counter-culturalists, just that I actually found myself more drawn to the books than the event itself. Hopefully enough of a crowd checks it out to convince them to host similar events in the future, even if it means temporarily resorting to society’s filthy, capitalistic ways.

Folk staple Bon Iver heads in a markedly more electronic direction with their third album.

Ethan Veenker Student Writer

“It might be over soon,” chants an indistinctly high voice at the start of Bon Iver’s latest effort, “22, A Million.” And over soon it was — the ten-track album comes to little more than a half-hour in length. While disappointing in this regard, the album is certainly not lacking in content.

Bon Iver may be best known for their 2011 self-titled album, but frontman Justin Vernon made his proficiency in songwriting clear with 2008’s debut “For Emma, Forever Ago.” The latter formed one of the most defining folk albums that has yet to seep from the 2000’s whilst the former won both a Grammy for the band and a selection from Pitchfork as “Album of the Year.”

It’s these softer, beautiful albums that make “22, A Million” such a damn surprise.

No one expected Bon Iver to go and pull a Radiohead on us. Did Vernon just coin the genre of glitch-folk? The electronicallydriven album, chronically lacking an acoustic guitar (in most songs), elicits feelings of James Blake, Radiohead’s “Kid-A,” and even a typical EDM song with the second track “10 d E A T h b R E a s T.” And there’s another thing: the track names. From “33 ‘GOD’” to “666 upside down arrow,” there is no shortage of odd track titles. The physical release comes with unique art for each track containing almost terrifying symbols of vaguely biblically inspired images. I say vaguely, but the extreme number of goat heads, crucifixes, and upside-down crucifixes is probably a bit more heavy-handed than that. For God’s sake, the thing looks like a heavy metal album if you judge it by just the cover. That’s not to say it isn’t a damn cool album cover, perfectly representative of the erratic tracks inside.

On that matter, discussion of individual tracks almost isn’t enough when attempting to process this record. It’s so short and

varied, you can only try to describe the way it feels as a whole. The glitched and overprocessed vocals, the static-y samples, the token Bon Iver saxophone and overdubbing - they all comes together to form a disgustingly beautiful mesh of experimental bliss.

Vernon expertly fuses folk with avant-garde in a manner that hasn’t been so seamlessly done by such a popular artist since, well, Radiohead.

While it may be an ineffective endeavor, one simply can’t pass up discussing the individual tracks at least a little bit. “29 #Strafford APTS,” the fifth song on the album, seems like the closest we get to the “old Bon Iver” with this record. The song, which could be viewed as an ode to the past in some ways, works well at eliciting the sound they had in the past. The following track, “666 upside down arrow” does a good job with this too, but there’s this everpresent electronic loop in the background and some glitchy effects during the chorus that serve to remind you we’re not in entirely familiar territory.

Vernon strips his tracks down into electronic wastelands of visceral noise while also keeping the Bon Iver motif of eclectic instruments. There’s brass parts, string sections, the obvious guitars and drums, the token Bon Iver saxophone. As aforementioned, however, he adds to his list of unique instruments with drum machines and synthesizers as well as gratuitous use of autotune (though that isn’t an inherently new concept for Vernon).

I could talk about each track and each instrument and still not transfer the feeling of the album itself. There’s something special about a man who can make music beyond description. I believe that’s what all art should strive to do — defy. Defy the rules. Defy the past. Defy logic if necessary. It’s expression, and while you are free to express yourself in any way you want, I believe the cream of the crop comes from those artists who are unafraid to express themselves while also bending a few genres. Justin Vernon’s beautiful, weird-ass new piece of art is something that does just that.

17 October 2016

Clinton got bigger piece of cake, claims Trump

After the debate Monday night, Donald Trump was given a piece of cake that he claimed was smaller than the piece given to Clinton.

Sam Chott Won’t share the remote

At a debate after-party last Monday night, Donald Trump accused a caterer of serving Hillary Clinton a larger piece of cake than he was served, sources say.

A Trump staffer released a statement Tuesday morning, claiming that “the slice of cake that Mr. Trump was served was clearly smaller than the slice served to Mrs. Clinton. Even a cursory examination shows that her slice had not only more cake, but also more icing, which she knows is Mr. Trump’s favorite part of the cake.”

The Clinton campaign immediately issued a response. They claimed that Trump’s slice was equal to Clinton’s in size, and that he had requested a center slice, not a corner slice, as he claimed. “Hillary actually offered to switch plates with Mr. Trump, once he made this issue clear, but he refused, saying that she had ‘breathed on it’ and that it ‘probably had, like, cancer now,’ said a Clinton staffer on condition of anonymity.

Some have pointed to this incident as indicative of Trump’s lack of temperament. “In the debate, he kept complaining that Anderson Cooper and Martha Raddatz gave him less time than they gave Clinton,” said political science major Andrew Turrow. “This almost seems like the same thing.”

Others have said that this is just the latest in a series of offenses against Trump by the liberal main-

stream media. “Trump keeps getting put down “Trump keeps getting put down by the mainstream,” said Howard Kahan, a noted conservative blogger. ”First, Hillary was given way more time on the debate, and she never has to sit in the middle seat on road trips. It’s totally unfair.”

Erroneous information on business deals has begun circulating around social media, purporting to connect the catering company that served the cake, St. Louis Food Services, to George Soros, a progressive business magnate. The company is actually owned by a German corporation.

As of press time, Cooper and Raddatz were considering instituting a policy where one candidate cuts the cake, and the other chooses a piece. The Trump campaign criticized the policy as being “dumb” and that “she would still get the bigger piece.”

The State-Run Media: 13

the

State-Run media Election Mad Libs

As this election season runs on, we at the State-Run Media have noticed that campaign scandals always seem to follow the same course. In the spirit of bringing the power of journalism to the people, and also because of heavy cuts to investigative journalism budgets, we’ve decided to provide a fun and educational way to report on the advent of new scandals. Fill the blanks in with facts, or have a friend give you some random words to put in the blanks, because apparently facts and lies work the same in this election cycle.

Hillary Clinton

Donald Trump Last

, Don-

day of week

ald Trump offended many in the marginalized group

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community, by

governmental department

derogatory adjective

.

respond-

couraged

.

Reactions have been mixed. to support her, saying that her

violent act

your-

, an ironic repur-

Clinton

stance on

fans

continue is

issue

more important than what she has done in the past. Others claim that this incident, along with her

ing to appear respectful, trying to

Indiana Governor Mike Pence, who is second in command of the Death Star, held a press conference today to shoot down any rumors that he would be having his shuttle prepared for evacuation

group

you go

Trump doubled down while try-

Sam Beckmann Finds your lack of faith disturbing

government employee

discrimination against Some

posing of a recent Trump quote.

for some Galactic Senators however, who have since pulled their support from Trump. Pence and several other Trump supporters in the Empire government restated their support, however, and it appears his campaign will continue.

At this time, it is unclear how Trump’s comments affected his polling among female stormtroopers, a demographic he must do well with if he plans to win in November.

Trump was also reported saying he felt a disturbance in the force, “as if 33,000 emails all cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

I fear something terrible has happened.” A Bothan spy committee is investigating this event.

has re-

“@realdonaldtrump, why don’t

NounVerbNoun

from the Trump campaign. “This is the greatest campaign ever constructed, and it’s almost fully operational,” Pence told reporters and queasy campaign aides regarding about the state of the presidential run.

The rumors of Pence abandoning ship came after a video was released on Friday that showed Donald Trump force-grabbing women and pulling them towards him. Trump defended himself, saying, “It was Jedi-Academy pranks, nothing more. I’m sorry I did it, but we have more important issues to focus on. The Rebel Alliance is threatening to overthrow the United States Empire!”

That defense was not sufficient

the

that she supported a policy that en-

type of criminal

self?” Others have rallied around #

After a damning video of Darth Trump was released, Mike Pence refused to have his personal shuttle prepared, insisting that the Death Star is fully operational.

in

community are

ed to Trump on Twitter, tweeting

“Evacuate? In our moment of triumph?” Pence asks stormtrooper

past

Hill-

cently been unearthed. It appears

member of community

graphic by Elias Brinkmann

Clinton’s

from

claiming that all members of that or

Mike Pence continues to defend his running mate despite Trump’s devotion to the Sith.

scandal

number over 100

scandals, clear-

appeal to both a broad audience of

ly disqualify her for being presi-

working class voters and a vocal

dent.

demographic.

The Clinton campaign has re-

“I stand by my words, though I

sponded with a characteristic non-

have great respect for all citizens of

apology. “I did everything that I

this

could for the people of the great

-ist or -phobic group

worshipful adjective

nation,”

read a Tweet sent out from his ac-

state of

count yesterday, with the iPhone

said, “and I regret if my actions

signature characteristic of his staff-

in

ers’ tweets. Minutes later, a tweet

offended or hurt anyone.”

was sent out from his Android phone, reading “ person

insulting adjective

apparently can’t

take a joke. Meanwhile, ISIS is act of violence ending in -ing

brave

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military branch

state

,” she

year between 1980 and 2015

“Remember that Donald Trump said that be

minority group verb -ed

should

,” she added.

our service-

“Why does the media hate me?” Trump asks while strangling Bob Woodard

Donald Trump took to the stage to defend his image from the media daring to use his words against him.

Sarah Odom Biased media representative Trump has claimed to be the victim of a media bias against non-politicians running for president. When asked about this claim during a press conference, he said, “Why does the media hate me so much?” while he strangled Bob Woodward, the journalist known for investigating Watergate, who had asked about the details of his policies too often. “I don’t see anyone else getting this much hate!

It’s only me, and let me tell you why,” he continued while sliding Woodard behind the stage. “It’s because they’re scared I’ll make them all look dumb. They don’t want to question their views, they don’t want to be wrong.”

He then announced a new part of his platform. “I want to make these attacks against me, these lies, illegal.” He said, “And they should be illegal, they’re trying to make me into something I’m

not.” He then mentioned several things he said while claiming he never said them. When reporters tried to tell him this, he had them thrown out of his rally. How dare they.

One reporter asked Trump if he had looked up articles on Hillary Clinton in the last few days.

“No,” he responded, “Why would I waste my time looking at her? I don’t want to waste my time reading articles praising her.” As we all know no one hates Hillary Clinton, especially on the internet.

The conference continued as Trump began to use newspapers as tissues for his runny nose and as his security began to escort out newspaper reporters who brought up things Trump said. “Do you really want to increase metadata collection?” asked one reporter who was then shoved into a burlap sack and carried out. “Do you really think first-generation Muslim Americans are responsible for most terrorism?” another asked before being sucker-punched and dragged outside by the ankles.

This continued until the conference ended while they were denied

by Donald Trump even though these are things he absolutely said.

After the conference there was a small meet-and-greet. All sup-

“Why don’t they like me?” Trump asked as he throttled the man who exposed Watergate.

porters seemed happy with the decision to throw out all opposition.

Alice Walter, a supporter since Trump announced his candidacy,

said “They’re disgusting. They abuse their power as a reporter to come after people like Trump.”

When asked, Alice said she abso-

graphic by Elias Brinkmann

lutely would vote for Trump this year, “He tells it like it is.”

17 October 2016

The State-Run Media

the

State-Run media Going to be out of a job on November 9th

Supreme Court enjoys deadlock vacation While Congress fights over who the next Supreme Court justice should be, the deadlocked current Supreme Court enjoys their time off.

Sam Beckmann Plays a Supreme Court justice on TV With the presidential election looming, The State-Run Media would like to take a minute and catch up with the Supreme Court.

Since the Court has been unable to come to verdicts with only 8 justices, they all agreed to just take some time off and go on vacations while they wait for Congress and the president to agree on a 9th justice. We checked in with each of them.

Ginsburg - I had never gone hunting before, but with all the debate about gun laws, I figured I should take the break and educate myself by owning and using a gun.

And I’m really getting into it! I already have a collection of 13 AR15s, and I’m hoping to pick up an AK-47 next week!

Alito - Honestly, I’m ready for the vacation to be over. It’s not that I don’t enjoy taking a break every once in awhile, but there are only so many model trains sets to build and fantasy football leagues to compete in before you tire of them, ya know?

With the Court deadlocked, the justices have no reason to be in the Supreme Court building and not, say, Tahiti.

Sotomayor - Most of my break has been travel. It’s truly amazing what some of the beautiful gems hidden in our country our. Just last week I got my picture next to the world’s largest t-shirt! Who knew that was even in the United States?!

Roberts - I’ve finally had the time to sit down and play Skyrim properly. It’s something that’s always been on my radar, but I just could never get into it after the long hours of making decisions about the interpretation of the law.

Kagan - Justice Kagan is using the break to partake in a giant hide and seek game in Washington D.C. Despite this reporter’s best efforts following her cryptic clues, she could not be reached for comment.

Kennedy - I’ve spent my break on a mission trip to Africa. I wanted to use this time to actually make a difference in the world, rather than being stuck in a stuffy courtroom all day, debating laws.

I’ve built a couple of houses and a bridge, and really impacted the lives of those in this community!

Thomas - After Justice Scalia’s sudden death, I was really shook up. I realized I could die any time, and didn’t want to have regrets on my deathbed. So I’m using the break to check off my bucket list.

I’ve already been skydiving and skinny-dipping, and I’m getting ready to run a marathon!

Breyer - The courtroom has always looked a little drab to me, so I’m taking advantage of the break to redecorate it with modern trends and bright colors! I’m thinking we switch to an open floor plan and

courtesy Wikimedia Commons

have some whiteboard walls. It’s going to really be a place to encourage creativity! I can’t wait for the other justices to get back and see what I’ve done with the place!

The justices plan to reconvene for a presidential election watch party this November. The one thing they can agree on, however, is hoping for a split between the presidency and Congress, so they get four more years of vacation while partisan politics result in a deadlock for the 9th supreme court seat.

Trump’s debate coach revealed to be 13-year-old boy Before the second Presidential debate, Donald Trump went through an intensive training program led by 13-year-old Timmy Weathersford.

Adam Lux Made this other kid cry graphic by Elias Brinkmann

Paul Ryan drops Trump “just in time” in obvious sequel hook After leaving Trump’s campaign, Ryan found himself left out of certain conservative circles.

When Paul Ryan announced that he would no longer be supporting Donald Trump, many thought that it was a too-obvious sequel hook setting up the next election in the franchise.

Sam Beckmann Takes no criticism

In what appears to be an obvious sequel hook for the 2020 election, Paul Ryan announced this past week he would no longer be defending Donald Trump. We asked some random people on the street who we could pin down for an interview what they thought:

Amanda CEO “It makes sense, you know?

I mean, with the media success that this presidential campaign has been, they have to be looking toward a sequel in 2020. I’m honestly surprised there are four years between presidential elections, with all the money they make from them.”

Kevin Unemployed accountant “Honestly, I’m kind-of disappointed with how the writers handled it, to be quite honest. The dramatic split would have happened closer to the election if I was in charge.”

Julia Film Studies student “I’m not in the least bit surprised. This had been foreshadowed for months with the early disagreements between the two.

At this point I’m just waiting for Chekov’s gun to go off when Trump shoots someone on 5th street.”

Charlie Finding himself “I’m not much of a fan of presidential politics, so I can’t tell you much about that,” Charles said as he sipped his IPA. “I only tend to follow third party primaries and small-town mayor elections, you’ve probably never heard of the candidates.”

While some haters have been spreading lies that future POTUS Donald Trump did not win the second presidential debate, most people can agree that he seemed much more prepared that he did during the first debate. Our sources say that this is due to Mr. Trump hiring a debate coach after the first debate to whip him into shape for the second one. This coach is one Timmy Weathersford, a 13-yearold boy from Kansas.

Timmy’s background in debate is extensive. He is the youngest of four and thus has 13 years of experience in shouting matches. He’s a four year veteran of the playground burn-off tournament and a multi-time champion. His most prestigious accolade is that he is the originator of that nerd Keith McCarthy’s nickname “Keith the Queef.”

Timmy’s training routine for Mr. Trump was intensive. Every morning started with a two hour session of Nuh-uh Yeah-huhs followed by an hour of not answering questions that were asked. After

a quick lunch break the real meat of the training started: the zinger practice. This involved watching hours of tape of Hillary Clinton talking and Mr. Trump interjecting with jokes and snarky remarks whenever he could. They would also have “lightning rounds” where Timmy would give Mr. Trump one or two lines of Clintonesque dialogue and Trump had to respond with a dank zinger in 10 seconds or less.

“I wanted to do more than just have him memorize some responses to probable statements from Hillary, but instead actually teach him the art of snide remarks,” said Weathersford in an interview with the State-Run Media. “Anyone can come with prepared zingers but a true zingmaster can come up with them on the spot.” Timmy expressed pride in Mr. Trump’s performance during the last debate and said that he was “a great student” and has “made a lot of progress,” but also that Mr. Trump has a lot of room to grow. “We’ve doubled down on our training for the final debate. Everyone is going to be stoked by by Mr. Trump’s dope one-liners and savage insults come the next debate.” said Weathersford, “It’s gunna be lit.”

Only time will tell if Mr. Trump’s training will pay off in the third and final Presidential debate but it sure seems like he’s becoming more and more like his 13-year-old debate coach.