30 September 2019

Variety

The Collegian: 2

30 September 2019

Gilcrease After Hours celebrates Mexican Modernism

For Hispanic Heritage Month, the Gilcrease Museum celebrates with Mexican food, dance and art.

Skylar Fuser Student Writer

On Friday, Sept. 27, Gilcrease hosted their monthly after hours event, this month’s titled Mexican Modernism. This event featured Mexican music, traditional dance and art both to view and to create as well as delicious food and drinks. The night highlighted the opening of the museum’s new exhibit, “Mexican Modernism: Revolution and Reckoning,” which will be on display until August 2020.

Gilcrease After Hours included free tamales and churros for all, as well as an open bar featuring Mexican beer and margaritas.

Activity stations included creating your own papel picado, where guests of all ages were invited to participate. Papel picado is a type of Mexican folk art made out of colored tissue paper that is hung decoratively, and it was present throughout the Gilcrease.

Traditional Mexican dances and songs were performed and admired throughout the night by Tulsans and their families.

One man performed by singing corridos, a popular traditional form of Mexican ballad poetry. The following act sang upbeat songs made for dancing until the night ended.

The exhibit featured famous artists such as Diego Rivera, José Clemente Orozco and Rufino Tamayo. A highlight of this exhibit is the fully bilingual display, both in the presentation of the art as well as the background of the exhibit itself.

Some especially impactful pieces included “El Volcán” by Raúl Anguiano and “Figura” by Mariano Paredes. “El Volcán” tells the tale of two star-crossed Mexica lovers. Two volcanoes erupt simultaneously in this grey-toned landscape, representing the undying love of an ill-fated warrior and his princess.

“Figura” evokes deep emotion from the viewer in the solemn, soft expression of a woman looking up through the trees and into the sky above. The intriguing part of this piece is the mystery that exists on its opposing side, also of a woman with a simi-

lar disposition, but not shown to the viewer.

The interpretation explains the back side of the piece as an old woman holding a lifeless child, with a saddening background of a burning town in chaos. This back side has been only partially carved and only realized to be an unfinished piece upon the creation of this exhibit. The limited knowledge the viewer has of the back of this piece as well as the unique emotions it evokes make for a thought-provoking experience.

The period of Modernism in art existed from the early twentieth century until 1945.

Modernism was present during this period all over the world, with hispanic artists especially influential in the movement. Frida Kahlo, Diego Rivera and even Pablo Picasso helped lead Modernism through the first half of the twentieth century. Diego Rivera’s pieces can be seen throughout the museum, with multiple sketches of his on display in this exhibit.

This event was one of the many across the Tulsa area to celebrate Hispanic Heritage month. Since 1988, Hispanic Heritage Month has been celebrated from Sept. 15 through Oct. 15 across the United States.

The 30-day event commemorates Hispanic contributions to the United States, as well as hispanic culture all over the country. The Mexican Modernism exhibit at the Gilcrease museum is a great way to experience and celebrate hispanic heritage during this month in Tulsa.

courtesy Gilcrease Museum Diego Rivera’s works, including “Cabeza de Indio,” were influential in the Mexican Modernism movement.

photo by Skylar Fuser

The “Mexican Modernism” exhibition includes Spanish and English text.

Student Health& Wellness Fair Oct. 7

11 a.m. to 2 p.m.

Student Union Great Hall

courtesy Gilcrease Museum “Figura” by Miguel Paredes creates an air of mystery in the woman’s solemn expression.

Drop by to learn about the health and wellness resources available to students across campus. Be confident to care for yourself and others.

Get your flu vaccinations, health-fitness assessments and more on site!

utulsa.edu/studenthealthfair

Anguiano’s “El Vulcan” depicts a tale of star-crossed Mexican lovers.

courtesy Gilcrease Museum

30 September 2019

Variety

The Collegian: 3

Portico Dance Theatre performs “Project Alice” Dancers fused styles, characters and genres in an interpretation of the Lewis Carroll classic.

Tori Gellman Student Writer The Portico Dance Theatre celebrated its 10-year anniversary with a revival of its inaugural performance: “Project Alice.”

This compilation of dances combines different styles and genres and is based loosely around the characters and plot points of the beloved Lewis Carroll classic.

Immediately striking was the program for the show: It titled and listed main performers/characters for each dance, but what stood out are the parentheticals that followed this standard fair. Taking different

before intermissions and perform a very theatrical latin-based routine that was nothing like the very flowy, expressive opener.

The only time I was really confused by the show was when characters from fables or children’s stories other than “Alice in Wonderland” began making appearances.

The tortoise and the hare number, while adorable and set to extremely charming music, felt a bit out of place given the “Alice in Wonderland” premise. There was also a very ritualistic dance performed by a duchess, a chef and a pig that was a bit jarring when followed by a dance from the Mad Hatter.

I was pleasantly surprised, however, when all of these characters ended up being guests at the Mad Hatter’s tea party, and the entire group performed as an ensemble in a completely different style than the opener.

“... each dance attempted to tackle a different component of mental health.” popular interpretations of “Alice and Wonderland,” each dance attempted to tackle a different component of mental health.

The show began with Alice and “the conductor” running through the audience and up to the stage. It would later be illuminated that the conductor was the white hare, who is essentially Alice’s tour guide in the classic story. Though arguably the main characters, neither Alice nor the conductor ever actually danced.

The opening number was a gorgeous group routine. Contemporary, lyrical choreography was coupled with the use of long sheets of silk, which dancers were wrapped in and twirled out of. The dance was intended to represent the concept of REM Sleep, as stated in the program, and it was a really beautiful way to start the show. Seeing these women changing characters and performing all of these different styles of dance in such a short span of time was impressive. For example, one of the dancers in the opening number became the Queen of Hearts shortly

Though the characters still seemed a bit odd to me, the fusing of the all of the different stories into one routine was really well done.

My favorite routines of the evening were the aerial pieces. The second dance in the show was three bird-like characters utilizing aerial hoops and dancing to a Sia song, depicting depression and substance abuse. The cardboard clouds and feather boa costuming gave this very thematically dark piece a lighter touch which seemed very on point with the original telling of Alice in Wonderland that I remember. Towards the middle of the first act, the cheshire cat performed a solo routine on an aerial hoop to a remix of a Billie Eilish song. This was set to represent schizophrenia and I was just in awe of all of the different components of the routine.

I think what the show as a whole really captured was the Portico Dance Theatre vision statement: “In architecture, a Portico is an open entryway. Through contemporary dance, Portico Dance Theatre seeks to serve the same purpose: allowing ideas

Although Alice is the titular character, she never actually dances during “Project Alice.”

to exchange and percolate between artists, communities and disciplines.” With it’s extremely innovative routines and combination of dance styles, not to mention it’s

courtesy Tulsa Theatre

very unique adaptation of classically known characters and stories, I was thoroughly impressed by the talent and creativity of the show.

“Nimrod” conference offers opportunities for student writers This international literary journal will host panel discussions and meetings with published authors and agents this October.

Adam Walsh Student Writer With the spookiest month of the year creeping up, a convention covering a university student’s worst nightmare arrives, stalking the dark corners of TU with memories of late nights, mental breakdowns and rather unimpressive outcomes. This fear?

Writing.

“Nimrod,” an international literary journal founded on our very own campus, celebrates the return of skeleton memes by conducting their yearly writing conference.

Taking place Oct. 18-19, the conference consists of a series of panels and discussions with 16 different writers covering ev-

ery possible field, as well as the chance to speak with a real-as-steel media agent.

The first night will focus on the reception of two published authors. Attendees can meet and chat with the special guests, Kim Addonizio and Margot Livesey, at the Tulsa Historical Society from 6:30-8:30 p.m. The visitors are two extremely decorated writers from different specializations, offering a diverse take on the commonalities associated with their preferred field.

Kim Addonizio specializes in confessional style poetry, preferring to toss aside societal conventions and speak from her mind, utilizing country analogies and her slicing sense of humor to talk about love, heartbreak and herself. With seven published poetry collections, her style is reminiscent of Sylvia Plath with less despair, shown exquisitely in the titular poem of her fifth poetry collection, “Lucifer at the Starlight.”

Her counterpart for the night is Margot Livesey, an accomplished mystery writer that specializes in taut pacing and keeping

the reader at the edge of their seat. With a penchant for including supernatural and psychological maladies in her novels, Livesey creates ethereal works that push and pull on conventional relationships, asking questions about the nature of boundaries and trust in fraternal and romantic pairings.

Her novel “The Missing World” illustrates these concepts well, following the journey of an amnesiatic whose boyfriend takes advantage of those missing memories to rewrite their past. This two hour event is completely free and open to the public.

The second day will take place at TU in Keplinger Hall and the Allan Chapman Student Union. Starting at 10:00 a.m., day two includes panel discussions covering topics like writing strategy in relation to highly upsetting events, dialogue construction, character development in literature, use of archetypes and a discussion with a publishing agent. Lunch will be served at noon, then participants will return to the masterclasses at 1:35 p.m.

The second half of the day will focus on revising poetry, tactics behind an opening paragraph, elements of mystery, use of social media in modern nonfiction, collaborative writing, and for those who register early, the opportunity to meet with an agent one-on-one to discuss your novel and another opportunity to meet alone with an editor.

If that sentence seemed long, it is because this is a very large amount of information and opportunities packed into a single day.

For University of Tulsa students, the cost is $10. The pre-registration period to attend has already begun, and the slots for special one-on-one editing and novel-query letter analysis are doled out on a first-come, first-served basis. For anyone that sits on the fence, two days of listening to published authors speaking about their craft should cost far more than $10. Not too many deals like this happen. Registration forms can be mailed or taken to the “Nimrod” office on the third floor of Zink Hall.

Bill Hader wins third Emmy for work on “Barry” Tulsa-born actor Bill Hader wins “Best Lead Actor in a Comedy Series,” continuing a diverse career in television and film.

Madison Walters Student Writer The 71st Annual Emmy Awards took place on Sept. 22, and Tulsa native Bill Hader took home an Emmy for his role in “Barry” after his nomination for “Best Lead Actor in a Comedy Series.” This makes the second year in a row that Hader has won in that same category.

“Barry” is an American dark-comedy television series written by Bill Hader and Alec Berg. It details the life of a hitman who travels to Los Angeles to take out a target and finds himself joining an acting class.

“Barry” is an HBO original TV show.

“Barry” was nominated for a total of nine Emmys, including “Outstanding Comedy Series.” In the show’s lifetime, it has been nominated for 30 Emmys.

Hader was born and raised in Tulsa, Oklahoma. He attended high school at Cascia Hall Preparatory School, then moved to Arizona and attended Scottsdale Community College.

Hader competed against nominees Don Cheadle (“Black Monday”), Anthony Anderson (“Blackish”), Michael Douglas (“The Kominsky Method”), Eugene Levy

(“Schitt’s Creek”) and Ted Danson (“The Good Place”) to win this award.

In his acceptance speech, he thanked Alec Berg, his co-writer for the series. Hader said, “I don’t know where I’d be without you.”

He also gave an anecdote about how Berg critiques him after every take: “I get one of two responses after each take. It’s either ‘yeah, we should move on’ or ‘ehhh, we

should go again.’ So thank you for molding my performance.”

During his press speech he discussed a handful of topics, ranging from his impression of Tom Cruise to his friendship with his co-star, Henry Winkler.

Hader discussed how comedy is evolving in this age. He remarked that comedians are learning to be more aware of various issues and that it’s a great thing for the industry.

Hader accepted his third Emmy with a shoutout to his co-writer, Alec Berg.

courtesy Emmys

He went on to comment about the upcoming third season of “Barry,” mentioning that the next season is going in a different direction with more drama than the previous seasons. Hader described the upcoming season as “terrifying and messed up.” Season three of “Barry” is scheduled to release on HBO in March 2020.

A reporter asked him about his journey from a comedian to the winner of “lead actor in a series.” He responded with, “I still haven’t processed it from last year.”

This win makes the third Emmy that Hader has received. In his lifetime, he has received twenty nominations for various shows, including “Saturday Night Live” and “South Park.”

It’s been a stellar year for Hader. Some of his films have gone on to break box office records. He starred in “It: Chapter 2,” which went on to become the widest globally released R-rated opening in history, beating out “Deadpool.” He also had a voice role in “Toy Story 4,” which went on to receive over $1 billion in worldwide box office.

His next upcoming film is “Noelle,” which will be released Nov. 12 on Disney+.

He co-stars with Anna Kendrick, playing Santa’s son who is reluctant to take over the family job.

Hader’s ever-growing popularity in comedy, television and film has led to a thriving career that has won many awards and nominations. Tulsa should be very proud of Hader’s wide range of accomplishments.

The Collegian: 4

Variety

30 September 2019

Tulsa celebrates Banned Books Week with Salman Rushdie Magic City Books brought the famously banned author to speak about his latest novel, “Quichotte,” which retells the Cervantes classic.

Piper Prolago Variety Editor The last week in September has been dedicated to celebrating the freedom to read since the creation of Banned Books Week in the 1980s. This year, booksellers, librarians, journalists and readers alike came together to promote inclusivity and expression Sept.

22-28.

Local independent bookstore, Magic City Books, celebrated Banned Books Week by bringing world-renowned writer, Sir Salman Rushdie, to Tulsa on Sept. 23 to speak about his latest novel “Quichotte.” He spoke at the All Souls Unitarian Church with MoroccanAmerican author Laila Lalami, whose novel “The Other Americans” is currently on the long list for the National Book Award.

PEN America is an international organization that deals with the intersection between human rights and literature, aiming to protect free speech all over the world.

Rushdie was the former president of the organization. The National Outreach Program Director, Katie Zanecchia, spoke before the discussion, informing the audience about their mission. One of the major projects that PEN America organizes with is called “Literature Locked Up,” which deals with book banning in prisons, where inmates are limited in their access to books.

Rushdie’s novel “The Satanic Verses” is one of the most famously banned novels in modern history; the book caused an international uproar upon its publication in 1988.

The plot centers on two Muslim Indians living in England. Rushdie’s writing challenged, and at times mocked, tenants of the Islamic faith, incorporating a retelling of the story of the Prophet Muhammad.

The treatment of Islam led to uproar across the world. “The Satanic Verses” was ultimately banned in several countries, burned in Britain and accompanied by violent protests in Pakistan. Most notably, Ayatollah Khomeini, the Supreme Leader of Iran at the time, issued a fatwa, or reli-

gious rule, commanding Muslims to kill the author.

Rushdie was born in India to a Muslim family, but at the time of the book’s publication, he had become a British citizen and was living in the U.K. These threats led to his retreat into protective hiding for several years. After Khomeini’s death in 1998, the Iranian government denounced the fatwa.

Rushdie laughed when discussing “The Satanic Verses,” calling it an “ex-banned book.”

Since this controversy, Rushdie has moved to the United States and published several more books, including a memoir entitled “Joseph Anton,” the pseudonym he was forced to use during his time in hiding.

Rushdie extracted this name from the first two names of his favorite authors, Joseph Conrad and Anton Chekhov. In his recently published novel, “Quichotte,” Rushdie delves into his own life, including a character named Conrad Chekhov.

“Quichotte” retells the 17th-century classic Miguel de Cervantes novel, “Don Quixote.” The novel follows a protagonist, Quichotte, as he travels across the country to find a TV star he has fallen in love with.

This story is woven with the story of Sam DuChamp, an author who is writing the story of Quichotte.

While borrowing the title, thematic concerns and hero’s journey from Cervantes, Rushdie also looked to a 12th century epic Persian poem, Attar of Nishapur’s “The Conference of the Birds” for inspiration.

Rushdie weaves these literary antecedents with cues from his own life to create a multifaceted and densely layered work that deals with several contemporary issues.

Quichotte is a pharmaceutical salesman by trade, whose job is to sell Fentanyl spray.

In their conversation, Lalami was taken aback by Rushdie’s admission that he did not invent Fentanyl spray for the novel, but based this detail, as well as a crooked doctor character, on actual events. These details alluding to the opioid crisis took on a more personal meaning for Sir Rushdie. Recently, his youngest sister died from an opioid overdose. This tragedy pushed Rushdie to breach the subject in his writing.

Another contemporary issue that Rushdie spoke extensively about was the issue

courtesy Random House “Quichotte” tells the stories of Quichotte and Sam DuChamp, an author writing about him.

of “fake news.” A chaotic and jarring novel, “Quichotte” represents a recounting of reality that can exist when the general public disagrees about what is true. Rushdie contemplates this dichotomy between truth and perception, asking the audience, “What happens when reality is fragmented … What happens when the world is mad?”

“Quichotte” weaves antecedents from across literary history with contemporary controversies. While Rushdie has always challenged boundaries in his writing, “Quichotte” represents yet another risk from this spectacular author.

Pizza and Politics club screens “Dr. Strangelove”

TU’s Pizza and Politics club recently hair muffed.” He continually acts as if war While Kubrick’s film takes place during Kubrick’s 1964 comedy critiques the hosted a screening of Stanley Kubrick’s has already been declared with the Soviets, the Cold War, it is really about the broadUnited States during the Cold War.

Justin Klopfer Student Writer

courtesy Columbia Pictures Peter Sellers plays Dr. Strangelove, an ex-Nazi scientist based on Wernher von Braun.

1964 dark comedy “Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.” Pizza and Politics shows a politically-related movie or current event preceded by pizza and followed by discussion.

The film’s plot revolves around a nuclear attack ordered by the psychotic General Ripper (Sterling Hayden) on Russia during the Cold War. The president (Peter Sellers) attempts to stop the attack from occurring, but it becomes increasingly clear that “mutually assured destruction” has already been set in motion.

The true genius of “Dr. Strangelove” is in its hilariously cynical view of the U.S.’s response to crisis. General Buck Turgidson (George C. Scott) is a patriotic warmonger who hates “ruskies” with a passion. When Scott refused to act as ridiculous as Kubrick wanted him to, Kubrick told Scott to overact for “practice takes,” then used these takes without telling Scott. His resulting performance stands out as simultaneously hilarious and deeply chilling.

After the president rebukes his plan of war, accurately calling it mass murder, Turgidson refers to this murder as “getting our

wanting to deny them information and expressing excitement about Ripper’s surprise attack.

The titular character, also played by Peter Sellers, is another outlandish, yet strikinglyreal critique of German nationalism. He is modelled mainly after Wernher von Braun, an ex-Nazi scientist brought to America to work on aerospace weapons. Strangelove wears a singular glove on a hand which unwilling jerks itself into a Nazi salute as he says “Mein Fuhrer.”

In the climax of the film, Strangelove suggests a fastasical solution to nuclear fallout with a wide grin on his face: He recommends that a select sector of humanity should be relocated into mine shafts to avoid nuclear fallout. Turgidson chimes in passionately: “Mr. President, we must not allow a mine shaft gap!”

All of the elements of comedy combine to create an utterly hopeless look at the American defense system. The film paints the government as completely incapable of handling serious threats, or even accidentally imposing them upon themselves.

er incompetencies throughout modern the American government and is still incredibly relevant. Many people in the current political climate are still eager for war, especially those at the top who stand to gain prestige or status.

The deranged conspiracies of General Ripper also still permeate certain parts of American culture, particularly his disgust at fluoride being put in tap water. Turgidson’s blind patriotism and laid-back attitude towards civilian casualties seems similarly omnipresent throughout American history.

Strangelove’s obsession with death and his glee at the idea of saving a select few with mine shafts suggests a critique of an elite with special privileges.

From Vietnam to Iraq, American war hawking and incompetence never ends, and the powers that be seem to be eyeing Iran next. Kubrick’s movie still stands as the greatest critique of this farcical tragedy in cinematic history.

Opa!Homa festival brings Greek culture to Tulsa The four day festival offers visitors an experience of Greek food, music and dance.

Tori Gellman Student Writer The sounds of the keyboard and mandolins could be heard from streets away. The smell of the gyro and tzatziki permeated all of the surrounding neighborhoods. This could only mean one thing: Opa!Homa!

Tulsa’s four-day Greek festival came as a lovely surprise to me! Having studied abroad in Greece the summer after my freshman year at TU, I have a deep love and appreciation for all things Greek. After studying in Thessaloniki, the second largest city in Greece after Athens, I really got to be immersed in Greek culture and this different way of life.I was more than ecstatic to get to experience that again.

Upon arrival, I immediately acquired an Opacolada (a twist on the original pina colada, as it was made with ouzo). My friends and I made our way around to check out all of the different food vendors. I settled on a Greek Salad, while others chose gyro sandwiches and Greek fries. Once we were all seated under the main tent, we drank, ate

and enjoyed the music we’d heard walking in and around the festival.

Accompanying me to Oklahoma’s little slice of the Mediterranean was none other than Collegian editors Brennen Gray and Ethan Veenker, as well as Veenker’s lovely girlfriend, Sam. We entered the festival as regular students, but left dancers and performers. Given that we went to the event at 8:30 p.m. on a Thursday, the festival wasn’t very crowded. This only made us more able to let loose and enjoy ourselves. We definitely weren’t shy in cheering on the musicians and clapping along to the beat, but I don’t think any of us expected the two mandolin players to come down off the stage and perform atop our table. We certainly didn’t expect to be serenaded by our secret-Mandolin aficionado Ethan Veenker when one of the Greek musicians placed his instrument around his neck.

Given that we had just bonded with these incredible Mandolin players, it seemed fitting that we would hop right up on the stage and dance like fools. Keeping the surprises of the evening going, a nice festival worker joined us and began to teach us a traditional Greek line dance. Holding hands and jumping in a circle had us all grinning from ear to ear. Perhaps because the festival was coming to a close for the evening, or perhaps more probably because we were making

Opa!Homa offered diverse food options, including gyros and Greek salad.

complete fools of ourselves, the Greek music came to a grinding halt and was replaced by perhaps the most western dance anthem of the 21st Century: The Wobble.

After depleting the last remaining energy I had, I settled up with a dozen pieces of baklava and other assorted Greek desserts and made my way back to my car. I then took my copious assortment of sweet treats

photo by Brennen Gray

over to my friend Cheyenne’s on campus apartment where we continued the delights from the festival. I am so disappointed that it took me three years of being in Tulsa to learn about this festival, but every part of this evening put me right back in Thessaloniki and brought me together with my friends for a truly lovely night, which pretty much makes up for it.

30 September 2019

Variety

The Collegian: 5

Ethan Veenker Editor-in-Chief How does one begin a discussion on one of music’s most prominent creations? Well, the easiest way to start it off is to comment on the topic’s unapproachability. That way, the critic can gently remind the readers that the topic they’re writing on is, indeed, expansive, and that the critic is in a unique position of being clearly and conspicuously beneath the topic they’re discussing. It’s been 50 years, what more could anyone say about “Abbey Road”?

And yet, I’ve got a word quota to fill and an editorial itch to scratch, so I’ll take the time to discuss the album and its significance — even to someone as ill-informed as myself. Last Thursday, Sept. 26, was the 50th anniversary of the release of “Abbey Road” in the U.K., and this Tuesday, Oct. 1, commemorates the anniversary of the American release.

“Abbey Road,” while undoubtedly the most recognizable record from The Beatles, isn’t their most influential. That accolade goes to “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band,” which set the standard for the concept album and broke The Beach Boys, among many other important things for music as a whole.

Again, though, in terms of recognizability, you can’t beat “Abbey Road.” The album art — depicting all four band members crossing a street — is iconic. The record opens with “Come Together,” arguably the most recognizable Beatles song ever. The album is actually a bit less adventurous and experimental than the records that preceded it, but it’s an incredibly cohesive and — let’s face it — timeless listening experience.

I don’t care how uncomfortable you may be with the utter ubiquitousness The Beatles possess in modern music culture: they’re not “overrated.” They’re rated precisely as they should be, because every single one of your favorite musical acts is influenced in some way

by The Beatles, and many modern strains of music simply wouldn’t exist if the fab four had never met.

“Abbey Road” is also the band’s final record. While “Let It Be” was released afterward, “Abbey Road” was the last album the band recorded, and it ends fittingly on a track called “The End,” a two-minute track in which the bandmates take turns with guitar solos (including a rare drum solo from Ringo Starr) and ending with the line, “And in the end / the love you take / is equal to the love / you make.” It genuinely gives me goosebumps every time.

They were all fed up with each other at that point, but their ability to give such a heartwarming goodbye cements the song’s legend.

It is the final Beatles track, and the solos foreshadow the directions that each of them would take after their breakup. Fittingly, their final song establishes each member’s individuality, as if to say, “Hey, it doesn’t have to be over. There’s four of us and we each love music in our own rights. The love will go on.” But everyone knew something important and inimitable had ended.

The rest of “Abbey Road” is no less rewarding (nor somewhat melancholic). The first half of the record showcases a few solid cuts, including the enduring George Harrison jam “Here Comes the Sun” and the Ringo-indulgent “Octopus’s Garden.” We also see the duality of Paul McCartney through the macabre, cutesie, hated-by-Lennon “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer” and the pining, desperate “Oh! Darling.” John Lennon brings us into the second half of the record with “I Want You (She’s so Heavy),” which approaches eight minutes and is constructed in two parts, the latter of which drowns us in guitar fuzz before melting into the soft acoustics of “Here Comes the Sun” on side B. But speaking of side B, the bulk of it forms the “Abbey Road Medley,” one of my favorite musical inventions. Spanning from “You Never Give Me Your Money” to the end of the record, the medley plays like a big 15-minute song in which all of the short, punchy tracks that make it up (constructed from unfinished songs that McCartney and Lennon both had lying around) seamlessly transition into one another. It’s the definition of cohesion and an incredibly engaging listen. Some of my favorite-ever Beatles jams come from this medley (“She Came in Through the Bathroom Window,” “Golden Slumbers” and “Carry That Weight,” which all run sequentially, as if arranged by Christ Himself).

Even if it’s no “Sgt. Pepper’s,” the release showcases The Beatles at their best. Despite the growing tension in the studio, you still get moments that illustrate the unbreakable bonds the bandmates all had (like Paul’s little laugh in “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer,” reportedly because John had been making funny faces in the studio).

“Abbey Road” is flawless pop rock and a perfect bow from The Beatles. If for no other reason, it’s important in that it heralded the end of an era. The Beatles hadn’t been active for even a decade, but in that time they had changed the landscape of music and laid the foundations for entirely new genres. That came to an end in “Abbey Road.”

And yet, there’s one last song after “The End.” Called “Her Majesty,” it’s a silly, 20-second ditty featuring just Paul and an acoustic guitar singing about a girl and wine, and it only exists because of a sound engineer’s orders to never delete any studio recordings from any of The Beatles.

It famously cuts off just before Paul strums the final chord, and though you can find a version with the final note online these days, for decades that was how the last Beatles album bowed-out: without a proper end.

That unfinished tune hangs in the air as the needle slips into the inner groove, a reminder that maybe good things never truly end. The Beatles would all go on to enjoy successful and (in some cases) influential solo careers, and their music is enjoyed and learned from to this day. Though the band members never met in a studio again, their music never disappeared.

Nor did their influence, their art, their love — it’s existed for half a century and probably will for another.

If you’ve gone this long without hearing “Abbey Road,” I’d implore you to change that today. If you’re a Beatles devotee, it couldn’t hurt to give the record yet another spin. One hopes they’ll never hear that final note. It hurts to know that it exists somewhere, but when you spin the wax it always stops short. The music goes on, somewhere. It always will.

Correction: “Playback” was admittedly a last-minute name for the Variety section’s new weekly column, and the opening paragraph from last week’s (Sept. 23) “Playback” erroneously identified the column itself as “Ethan’s Unnamed Music Column.” Hopefully you didn’t see that.

courtesy Apple Records

Events next week in Tulsa

Monday, Sept. 30

Friday, Oct. 4

Tuesday, Oct. 1

Saturday, Oct. 5

The Film Studies Department presents the 10th annual Fall Film Festival, screening student films. Harwell Field, starts at 7 p.m.

First Friday Art Crawl in Tulsa Art District, including a free performance at Guthrie Green by the Tulsa Ballet.

Circle Cinema hosts “Celebrating Meryl Streep” with Magic City Books. Author of “QUEEN MERYL,” Erin Carlson, will speak about her new book. This will be followed by a screening of “The Devil Wears Wednesday, Oct. 2 Prada.” Talk starts at 2 p.m. at Circle History department hosts Jared Cinema, tickets are $7.50 or $5 with Brock for a screening and discussion book purchase. of his “Redeeming Uncle Tom” documentary. Starts at 7 p.m. in LPC. Gilcrease hosts Public Forum on Tulsa Race Massacre Centennial Thursday, Oct. 3 Commission Projects that will comDrew Nikowicz speaks about his up- memmorate the 1921 tragedy. Gilcoming exhibition, “This World and crease Museum, starts at 10:30 a.m.

Others Like it,” that will be on display in the Hogue Gallery. Lecture Tulsa Symphony performs “Destarts at 6 p.m. in Phillips Hall. bussy’s Images,” also including compositions by Rimsky-Korsakov JUDAH & THE LION performs and Mozart. Tulsa Performing Arts their Pep Talks Worldwide Tour at Center, 7:30 p.m., tickets start at $15.

Brady Theatre. Doors open at 7 p.m., tickets are $32.50.

KONGOS performs at Cain’s Ballroom with opening acts YIP YOPS and Fitness. Doors open at 6:30 p.m., tickets start at $20.

Vendors offered alligator tacos and alligator meat on a stick.

photo by Brayden McCoy

Tulsa State Fair offers a diverse selection of food options From alligator to ice cream, the State Fair presents new and innovative tastes to visitors.

Brayden McCoy Student Writer It’s finally that time of the year again, and the state fair has come to Tulsa. With it comes incredible amounts of food that cater to your wildest imagination. On top of some old fashioned classics, there are new treats to surprise and delight you, as well as hidden gems yet to be discovered.

Speaking of old favorites, there are lemonade and funnel cakes as far as the eye can see and the nose can smell at the fair this year. If you go, you certainly won’t be lacking in sugar and comfort food. There was no shortage of footlong corn dogs or giant turkey legs, as many of the fairgoers were enjoying some while walking. After asking a few people how everything tasted, the general consensus was that everything tasted amazing and the food definitely wasn’t disappointing.

Similarly, there were new foods and treats all over the fairgrounds. Some such items

included alligator tacos or alligator on a stick. Of course, I had to give the alligator on a stick a shot. While it was nowhere near fresh alligator, I can confidently say it was amazing and something one should consider trying.

In an attempt to see what it was like from a vendor’s point of view, I spoke to a few of them. Quite a few vendors are actually volunteer groups such as Broken Arrow Band or Cheer. One such pair of Volunteers were Sarah and Rodney Harris, who were volunteering with Broken Arrow band.

Sarah, who happens to be a member of the staff at The University of Tulsa as well, spoke briefly on how she enjoyed volunteering at the fair and the hours weren’t bad at all. The volunteers usually only work 5 to 6-hour shifts and then have some time to explore the fair themselves.

Another Vendor, that gave me their opinion was Mike Kudirka, from Omaha, Nebraska. Kudirka has been coming to the Tulsa and Oklahoma State fairs for 11 years now, as the owner of the Nitro Ice Cream stand. He gave some insight into how much

Sarah and Rodney Harris volunteered at the Tulsa State Fair.

photo by Brayden McCoy

work goes into preparation for the fairs, saying, “I’m pretty much an Oklahoma resident for an entire month when the fair comes down here.”

While Nitro Ice Cream may not be a hidden gem, I was surprised to see how many people had never heard of it. The stand, located in Exchange Center building, serves Ice Cream that has been made by the cooling of cream through the use of liquid nitrogen.

It is quite possibly the smoothest, creamiest and tastiest ice cream I have ever tasted, and I go back for more every year.

A common misconception about the fair is that all of the food is located outside.

Luckily at the Tulsa State Fair, there is an abundance of food both outside and inside.

The River Spirit Expo building contains an incredible amount of food vendors located in a massive food court area which also contains seating. So for those who want to buy and eat their food in the refreshing AC, worry not, there is a way.

For those who can find the time, I suggest going to the fair and trying some new bites, there is a world of food out there just waiting for you and no matter how picky you may be, there will be something you’ll enjoy!

The Collegian: 6

Sports

30 September 2019

NFL parity intact despite uneven standings

NFL expert A. C. Boyle discusses the implications of the much talked about NFL standings, which left about half the league with 3-0 and 0-3 records.

Last Monday, Sept. 23, the Washington Redskins lost an NFL Monday Night Football game against the Chicago Bears, dropping their season record to 0-3 three weeks into the season.

The loss itself wasn’t the only surprising feature here. The Redskins are the sixth team to start the season 0-3, and the seventh team to start the first three games without a win.

This contrasts dramatically with the seven NFL teams that are 3-0 heading into week four and the undefeated Detroit Tigers who have two wins and one draw against Arizona.

They will actually be playing each other next week, and the winner will gain a chance for light at the end of the tunnel. I’d put my money on the Bengals, who are less dysfunctional.

Of the seven 3-0 teams, five are legitimate contenders to win the Super Bowl this year, and two are genuine surprises. The Buffalo Bills and the San Francisco 49ers have caught skeptics by surprise this far, although it should be noted that many of their wins so far were close.

If either of these teams can make the playoffs, it will be a testament to what a difference a single year can make in a sports

My Pick here is a bold one: I think the Bills will surprise New England. The bigger question here is whether or not these teams will remain stellar or execrable, and how the middle-of-the-pack teams will fare.

Personally, I think the NFL does not have a significant parity problem. In the NFL, there is always a hierarchy of skill for each year.

There are always five or six teams at the very top of the league who are playoff locks.

This is followed by the dark horse teams, the mediocre teams, the bad teams and finally the disastrous teams. It’s been like this for a very long time, and it will continue to

ing the small market teams, and it’s way better than the NBA where 27 of the 30 teams every year end up imitating the Washington Generals, while silently whispering, “lottery pick … Zion,” to their death rattle.

The NFL is the biggest, flashiest American sport, and the strategy behind it is more complex than the other three major U.S. professional sports; meaning sustained success (and failure) is hard. Things aren’t as static as they seem. But if you are still going to complain about the lack of parity in the NFL, then I suggest you acquaint yourself with the glorious sport of NHL Hockey — the league that has mastered the art of parity.

Of the 173 teams since 1980 to start the season 0-3, only five have made it into the playoffs ... the last team to do it were the Bills in 1998.

It is common sense that you want to start out of the gate fast; winning games early before the late season playoff push can give you the crucial edge and can make the difference between being on the field in January and chomping down Chex Mix while playing “Madden” on the L-shaped couch in January.

Many teams that start the season 3-0 make the playoffs and do well there.

On the other hand, teams that start the season 0-3 are almost always in panic mode. Of the 173 teams since 1980 to start the season 0-3, only five have made it into the playoffs.

The last team to do it were the Bills in 1998.

The sad and unspoken truth of the league, however, is that when you start your season 0-3, you don’t try to turn it around. Instead, 0-3 teams stop trying to win so they can get a higher draft pick. This is called tanking, and it is the league’s monster under the rug — the open secret that nobody wants to acknowledge.

Some of the teams that have started the season 0-3 aren’t as bad as others. The Bengals and Steelers are only 0-3 because they have had very bad luck so far.They are far better than the Jets and Dolphins and still have a chance to turn things around.

program. On the other hand, you have the teams you expect to start 3-0. You have the Patriots, Chiefs and Cowboys, who all look like they are locks to win their divisions, likely to get playoff byes and maybe even win 14 games or more.

The Chiefs and Pats, in particular, seem to be breaking all glass ceilings on an inevitable path to a titanic AFC Championship rematch, one that could rival the Ali-Frazier rematch in both scale and attention.

The Cowboys, on the other hand, are looking at the 3-0 Packers, perhaps ready to get even for their tragic playoff losses to Green Bay in the past. Not many teams can say they are this lucky.

Which brings us to the crucial point made by all this winning (and losing): Is the NFL experiencing a parity problem this year?

Well, there are many ways to look at this.

For one, there have only been three games played so far, and it isn’t that unlikely to have a coin toss end up heads three times in a row. I highly doubt that there will be six 8-0 or six 0-8 teams in five weeks time.

Also, many of these 3-0 teams will soon be playing each other, like the Patriots and Bills for example, and, barring a tie, one of those teams will end up with a blemish.

be that way. And that’s a good thing, since Super Bowl hangovers, injuries and free agency seem to constantly be shifting the balance of power (unless, of course, your team is coached by Belicheck the hoodie man).

This reality is not fully ideal, especially with the tanking, which creates too many garbage-time games where the teams don’t really try to win.

But it is much, much better than the parity of Major League Baseball, which is just the big market teams bullying and cannibaliz-

In the NHL, a team that was dead-last in the standings in January could rebound and win the whole thing just five months later.

They had a reason to keep fighting.

By comparison, I don’t think the Redskins will be coming back from anything.

As of week three in the NFL, 14 teams were either winless or undefeated

graphic by Emma Palmer

In our Sept. 23 issue, The Collegian ran a sports article titled “Are the Browns overrated, or off to a rough start?” that erroneously credited Chris Lierly. The correct crediting should go to A. C. Boyle.

Antonio Brown completely loses his mind Student journalist Hannah Robbins covers the ex-NFL player and current college student’s unraveling.

Antonio Brown has had a whirlwind of a week. Before Sunday night football began, Brown had already become the most eventful news of the day.

In a series of tweets, he first proclaimed that he would never play with the NFL again.

Then, he blasted the league for hypocrisy when former teammate Ben Roethlisberger only received a four game suspension for sexual misconduct allegations in 2010.

He also cited Patriots owner Robert Kraft was also facing allegations of sexual misconduct when Brown was fired from the team.

Within several hours, all but his promise to stop playing for the NFL were deleted from Twitter, but that was only the beginning of Brown’s eventful week.

Later that day, Brown also retweeted a tweet stating that Sports Illustrated reporter Robert Klemko received death threats after reporting Brown’s threatening text messages to one of his accusers with the response “[the] system working effectively.” This was also subsequently deleted On Monday, Brown posted his course schedule at Central Michigan University for the semester.

According to sources at CMU, Brown registered for classes at his alma mater to finish his degree on Sept. 16 before he was cut from the Patriots but after the allegations, he seems ready to begin his four course semester. For anyone assuming Brown was angling to get back on the field at the college level, don’t worry. Since he went professional, he cannot return to NCAA football.

But that was not all that was new with Brown this week. After stewing on his decision to quit the NFL, Brown tweeted on Thursday that “the game needs me I’m like test answers” stating he was going for the “Big 4X” or a fourth team this season. However, some teams are concerned that these tweets show his instability, and there is uncertainty if he will be able to find another team to sign him.

Brown’s legal drama also continued this week. After quickly being cut from the Raiders and the Patriots in succession, Brown wants his guaranteed money.

From the Raiders, he wants approximately $30 million that he lost for his signing bonus and base pay for 2019 and 2020 games.

This pay is regardless of the fact that Brown never played a single game for the Raiders.

From the Patriots, Brown is after 31 million for a signing bonus, wages for several games this year and some money for his 2020 option.

However, according to news that broke Sunday morning, however, it soon became clear that the dispute might not be brokered before 2020. The Patriots plan to argue that Brown did not make the rape allegations against himself clear enough to the Patriots at the time of signing, and this battle will play out in NFL arbitration.

To cap off the week, Brown tweeted Sunday morning asking for someone to help him “prof read” his English paper “do” at midnight, showing that Brown is still planning on attending his classes. With tweets like that, however, it remains to be seen if he’ll get his A’s and B’s he was hoping for this semester.

Some of Antonio Brown’s more eccentric Tweets.

courtesy Antonio Brown/Twitter

Sports

30 September 2019

The Collegian: 7

Rui Pinto charged with 147 counts after football hacks Student journalist Hannah Robbins discusses the world-shaking football leaks and the legality of whistleblowers in modern times.

In polarizing news last week, the Portugese government decided to charge Rui Pinto, the hacker behind Football Leaks, the professional football version of WikiLeaks, on 147 counts related to blackmail and extortion.

Football Leaks was a website that began in 2015 that focused primarily on leaking confidential information related to notable football clubs, coaches and players, but it didn’t stop there.

Football Leaks was behind several big scandals in the sport.

cided that he deserves to go free under whistleblower laws, citing the multiple European laws relating to product licensing and tax evasion that his information has helped to make transparent.

Individuals backing Pinto have also stated that by punishing Pinto for these crimes he will be unable to cooperate with other ongoing investigations to bring shady financials to light. He was working with both Swedish and German prosecutors at the time of his extradition to bring underhanded dealings to light, further questioning the validity of Por-

“Pinto contacted Doyen and told them that if they did not pay him to keep quiet, he would leak information ...”

Most of the information that was on the site related specifically to player salaries and showed which big name athletes were actually valued by clubs, and ways players and clubs were getting around different laws in the name of money. These leaks were pretty regular, and included plans for a new club competition, the Eurpoean Super League, that is planning to start in 2021. Some of the information in Football Leaks even helped lead the U.S. to reopen the sexual assault investigation into Cristiano Ronaldo.

Starting in early 2019, however, Pinto’s luck began to turn. In early January, Pinto was extradited back to Portugal to face trial related to his behavior toward a secret investment fund focused on the football trade market called Doyen Sports.

With Doyen Sports, Pinto got greedy.

Pinto contacted Doyen and told them that if they did not pay him to keep quiet, he would leak information about their transfer fees and secret payments. According to legal documents, Pinto sought 1 million euros to delete that information.

However, Pinto’s case isn’t as open and shut as it seems. Pinto’s lawyers have de-

tugal’s decision to prosecute. This decision is especially questionable since Pinto never went through with the Doyen Sports extortion, instead publishing the information on Football Leaks.

Fans of Pinto would only need to point toward the chaos that Pinto, a self-proclaimed fan of the game, insighted in the name of transparency to see that, overall, Pinto was a whistleblower focused on the common good.

Pinto single-handedly leaked information that caused the European football governing agency (UEFA) to consider banning Manchester City from future Champions Leagues after the convoluted mess of underthe-table player recruitment funds and disguised sponsorship payments came to light.

However, the decision will soon be in a judge’s hands.

It is worth noting that all of this information was the work of one hacker. It makes one wonder how insecure all these companies systems were that it only took one hacker a short amount of time to gain access to all this information. Maybe Pinto’s security breaches did the sport a favor?

graphic by Emma Palmer Pinto rocked the sports world by leaking information online, making him the target of many powerful clubs.

Tulsa women’s soccer Kevin Durant deserves team falls to UCF, 3-0 to be labled as immature Tulsa Hurricane covers Tulsa’s decisive loss Student journalist Emad Khan covers the NBA on Sunday. player’s history of childish behavior.

The Tulsa women’s soccer team dropped a 3-0 decision to UCF on Sunday afternoon at the UCF Soccer and Track Complex in Orlando, Fla. The Golden Hurricane fell to 6-6 on the season and 0-2 in American Athletic Conference play, while the Knights moved to 6-2-2 overall and 1-1 in the league.

“We put so much heart, energy and emotion into Thursday night, and it is hard to bounce back from that on a hot afternoon,” Head Coach Kyle Cussen said. “I thought there were times we played pretty well. We are a possession oriented team, but we didn’t seem to have the legs today to get open, and our movement off the ball wasn’t as good.

We created chances and we were fighting, but it was tough to get down 1-0 right before halftime. When we started the second half you could just tell we didn’t have the legs. We tried to sub to keep fresh legs, which did give us a spark, but we were a bit unfortunate and the ball doesn’t seem to be bouncing our way right now.”

Asia Ervin put the Knights on the board with just 36-seconds remaining in the first half, putting UCF up 1-0 heading into the locker room. Zandy Soree made it a twogoal cushion in the 53rd minute and Talia Gabarra recorded the final score in the contest in the 79th minute.

Jada Holmes handles the ball.

UCF had a 25-10 lead in shots, including a 7-3 advantage in shots on goal, and an 8-0 lead in corner kicks.

Liliana Fernandez had a team-best three shots for TU, while Emilie Torres, Averee Dubach and Mia Darden each had two attempts, and Neha Igwe recorded one shot.

Mica MacKay logged all 90 minutes in goal and picked up four saves.

Tulsa will return to action on Thursday, October 3 against Temple, beginning at 7:00 pm at the Hurricane Soccer and Track Stadium.

Scoring Summary Tulsa 0 0 UCF 1 2

-

0 3

Individual Scoring Asia Ervin (UCF) at 44:24 (Elise Legrout) Zandy Soree (UCF) at 52:14 (Ellie Moreno) Talia Gabarra (UCF) at 78:49 (Sydney Brown / Darya Rajaee) Goalkeeper Saves Mica MacKay (Tulsa) – 4 Caroline Delisle (UCF) – 3

courtesy Tulsa Hurricane

Kevin Durant is a gifted superstar; he will go down as the second greatest small forward in history because of his lethal scoring, thanks to his superior height.

The problem is KD has always wanted a ring to solidify his greatness, to be validated that he is the second greatest and to reach dream of becoming the next Michael Jordan.

He has always sought to surpass Lebron James, Kobe Bryant and other extraordinary basketball legends. And his lack of a ring for many years caused him to develop a bitter yearning for a championship.

He developed a hunger for a ring that has helped define his legacy. During his nineyear tenure in Oklahoma City, he never won a ring. Why? I believe it is because of his stubborn isolation playstyle of basketball.

As a player, he constantly demands the ball, eager to cement his greatness. But his selfish style causes him to play stagnant, unwise basketball.

As a professional, KD is disappointing.

After his injury in 2014-2015, he began to grow more sour towards the media because he was beginning to get desperate for a ring.

His happiness was fading after failing to reach the NBA finals for two straight seasons after 2012.

His expectations for Oklahoma City were becoming unrealistic, which also assisted in creating a separation between him and Russell westbrook. Both were heavy ball-hog players, the issue was who should have more possession of the ball.

By the time KD’s contract expired in 2016, it was obvious to fans that he would move on, begin a new path with Russel.

The truth is, KD had been considering leaving Oklahoma City for a while at that point, and, when he did say during that time that he planned on staying, it was likely because he did not want to hurt the fans.

He was seeking a guaranteed ring, something the warriors gave him and on July 4, 2016.

KD drew some substantial criticism after he left abruptly, with no sincere thank you or appreciation.

From that moment forward, KD began fighting a narrative that he was immature. It signaled he would do anything to chase after Lebron: he valued personal validation over

the well-being of his teammates, and even the league at large. It was a weak move.

Everyone knew it was, including KD himself. Analysts heavily criticized the move because it damaged the NBA’s parity just so a super star could coast on another team’s success.

But KD refused to admit he took the easy way out, refusing to accept responsibility, something Lebron did upon his return to Cleveland.

That was how it began, but the real move that has labeled KD as immature was when he began arguing with teenagers on social media, dissing Oklahoma City to admit he left because he was betrayed that the organization didn’t give him a ring.

KD was never a happy player, always a player rushing towards validation. In GS, he was the same, except he won a ring, but he wanted more and more. After two rings, he knew he would leave be cause Golden State was giving attention to Steph Curry. He was not getting validation for his contribution to the success of GS. KD’s immaturity would continue with arguing with refs, starting minor alterations and standing off againstDraymond Green.

This behavior revealed his lack of professionalism and his focus on his ego, which contributed to his departure in golden state.

He was not being accepted as the alpha dog, so he resented Steph Curry, Steve Kerr and Draymond Green for provoking him.

Despite his tragic injury in game 5 of the NBA finals of 2019, he is still the same person, denying his behavior by media reports and calling analyst sources garbage because he cannot take responsibility.

The titles he won meant nothing for his legacy because Golden State was an established, capable championship team before his arrival, and winning two titles over an undermanned team reveals his contribution as nothing extraordinary beyond the talent of Kevin Durant.

He left for the Nets to begin an era where he has the possibility to win a ring with Kyrie to prove that he is capable.

But, in the end, the analysts are correct: KD will never have a spotless legacy because of his refusal to take responsibility for his ego-driven behavior.

Sports

The Collegian: 8

30 September 2019

Zach’s spicy 2019 MLB playoff predictions MLB expert Zach Short discusses what he thinks will happen in the 2019 Major League Baseball playoff, including his pick for the World Series champs.

Wild Card Games AL: Tampa Bay Rays at Oakland Athletics Winner: I’m going to take the Rays in this one. I will admit, with all the hype over having a team win each American League division with over one hundred wins, I haven’t paid as much attention to these two as I probably should have.

I would say that a wrong pick for me here would strike me with the least amount of surprise out of all my picks, as this game is pretty well a toss-up, but I do believe the Rays have a better chance.

The two teams have similarly impressive records, but this was a year of extremes— the Tigers were over fifty games out of first

with a division that wasn’t decided until the very last day of the regular season.

I wouldn’t mark it outside of the realm of possibility that they show up in the Championship Series hoping for the Cardinals to meet them for a head-to-head showdown.

The Brewers just have something to prove.

Division Series: ALDS 1: (Possibly) Tampa Bay Rays at Houston Astros Winner: Only a fool would pick a wild card winner over the Astros. Justin Verlander had a W-L of 21-6 and Gerrit Cole had 19-6.

The duo will absolutely humiliate any batter the Rays can persuade into actually stepping up to the plate. They will make for

two series the teams played against one another in the regular season, one in New York and one in Minneapolis, the Twins lost two of three both times.

The trend? The Twins have no answer for the Yankees batting.

They scored a combined 43 runs in six games against the Twins, which puts them averaging over seven runs per game in the matchup. I don’t see any scenario where a team holding up that kind of offensive prowess doesn’t win. Maybe the Twins can come back next year.

NLDS 1: (Possibly) Milwaukee Brewers at Los Angeles Dodgers Winner: The Dodgers are an absolute force to be reckoned with and, despite how

NLDS 2: St. Louis Cardinals at Atlanta Braves Winner: This year has been a difficult one for picking an upset; in three of the four division series I had my hands tied. I couldn’t very well pick a Wild Card to beat a hundred-win team and neither outcome of Twins at Yankees can be called an upset, but I think this pick can.

The Braves finished six games ahead of the Cardinals, and I think they are going to blow it.

The Cardinals are energized after barely winning their division and, unlike the Brewers, don’t have to try to use that energy to beat a terrifying Dodgers lineup. Do I think they’ll sweep? No. I expect five games out

“The Dodgers are just too good, and the Brewers playing at their best still just can’t compete.” in the AL Central. That in mind, the Rays built a record in a division shared with the Yankees and a pretty good Red Sox lineup.

The A’s, conversely, beat out three teams that just don’t impress me for second in the division. Rays, in my mind, had a tougher schedule and therefore are the better team.

NL: Milwaukee Brewers at Washington Nationals Winner: This one was a tough one, but I’m going to go with the Brewers. Both teams had their own personal reasons for needing to win this—the Brewers lost a close battle for division champs against the Cardinals and the Nationals are trying to prove just how great they are without Bryce Harper.

However, the Nationals are in the postseason and the Phillies are not, that vengeance seems to have been exacted. The Brewers, conversely, feel the sting of a fresh wound

two quick wins to start the series, a promise that I believe in more than any other prediction I have.

Assuming the Astros stick with postseason tradition and utilize a four-man pitching rotation, then whatever pitcher the Astros use first, probably Verlander, would be back for a Game 5 scenario. If the Rays steal away not one, but two games from the Astros in Tampa Bay (a very unlikely scenario), then the Astros will win the last game by 10 runs. But honestly, even though I’ve talked a lot about the pitching, the Astros are good batters too.

They’ll probably take Game 3 no matter who is on the mound.

ALDS 2: Minnesota Twins at New York Yankees Winner: I love this Twins team and I want to see them win so badly, but I just can’t see them beating the Yankees. In the

much I don’t want to do so, I’m going to pick them over the Brewers. Although I will personally be cheering to see that aforementioned head-to-head matchup between the Cardinals and the Brewers in the Championship Series, I cannot in good faith say that I believe that it will happen.

The Dodgers are just too good, and the Brewers playing at their best still just can’t compete.

In all honesty, I’m not sure it would matter who the Dodgers played here or how good they were.

This team is absolutely starved for a World Series victory and I think the chances of them blowing it again are pretty slim this year.

However, I do think the Brewers will give them a run for their money and just may tire them out for another team to beat them in the next round...

of the matchup, but it is in the Cardinals nature to have just enough to stay alive and I expect to see them face a battered Dodgers squad in the Championship Series.

Early World Series Pick: Los Angeles Dodgers at New York Yankees, Dodgers win I am a stern believer in the power of this Dodgers team. Although I still do believe that both the Brewers and the Cardinals will give them a run for their money, I do earnestly think that the Dodgers will prevail.

With season after season of great records and hopeful predictions, this team will not lose another World Series if they can just get there.

The Yankees are a great team and I don’t want to tarnish the impressive season that they have had nor the impressive playoff run that I expect from them, but this year is not their year.

graphic by Emma Palmer

Zach predicts the Yankees and the Dodgers to duke it out for the championship, with the Dodgers emerging the victor.

15

Sept. 30 - Oct. 5

Monday

Tuesday 30

M Tennis @ Norman Future 25k

Wednesday 1

M Tennis @ Norman Future 25k

3

2

M Tennis @ Norman Future 25k

Saturday

Friday

Thursday

4

M Soccer vs. USF 7 p.m.

Sunday 5

6

Volleyball @ Memphis 7 p.m.

W Soccer vs. SMU 7 p.m.

Volleyball @ SMU 7 p.m.

Football @ SMU 6:30 p.m.

W Soccer vs. UConn 7 p.m.

M Tennis @ Norman Future 25k

M Tennis @ Norman Future 25k

M Tennis ITA All American

M Tennis ITA All American

W Tennis ITA All American

M Tennis ITA All American

30 September 2019

News

The Collegian: 9

International student enrollment notably down With the overall national enrollment of international students falling, TU has taken a hit as well.

Anna Johns Web/Social Media Manager According to the Tulsa World, international students at TU have gone from “20 percent enrollment a few years ago to 12 percent this year” and may be around 10 percent this fall. The sharp decline has affected TU in a number of ways.

In March 2018, during an interview with CNN, Vice President of enrollment and student services Earl Johnson said he believes the Trump administration’s “America First mantra” causes international students to feel anxious about studying in the U.S. “Also, the cost of college tuition has gone up 40 percent in the last 10 years. It’s weighing on them,” he continued.

The drop in international enrollment has hurt university revenue, and TU has placed a school official in China in hopes of recruiting more students.

However, this is not a problem centered at TU; it’s a national trend that has many universities feeling on edge. The number of new international students coming to the U.S. fell 10 percent in the last year, as reported by the Association of International Educators (NAFSA).

In the fall of 2017, NAFSA claims 45 percent of campuses “experienced an average of 7 percent drop in international student enrollment.” These decreases mark the first drops in total of new foreign students since the increased security in the aftermath of 9/11.

NAFSA’s research finds that international students are concerned with the social and political climate within the U.S., and they feel unwelcome due to this and the strict regulation on visas. Admissions officers reported to NAFSA that they receive increased

questions from international students asking if it is actually possible to attend a U.S. school and if they would be safe.

Allan Goodman, president of the Institute of International Education, contributes some of the decrease due to China’s change in visa policy, which allows Chinese students to obtain an F-1 visa for a five-year period instead of a one-year period. The policy frees these students from having to renew their visa every year, and that change may hurt a growth of new students.

Meanwhile, in the U.S., the government toughened the process to receive a H-1B foreign work visa, a popular pathway for high-skilled foreign workers. This decision was backed by Trump, who directed federal agencies to implement a “Buy American, Hire American” ideology, according to CNN. New graduates find it harder to remain in the country, and this could contribute to the deterrence of international students from applying to American universities.

In addition, the State Department said that it has revised its guidance to U.S. consulates that approve international student

On Sept. 19, Provost Levit introduced an offer to the Faculty Senate from the Board: an alternative path to True Commitment. The Faculty Senate and their assorted committees would be given 30 days to provide a substitute plan and prevent True Commitment from taking effect. In order to be considered, this new plan must provide budgetary savings similar to True Commitment.

As we know, words matter. I drafted the following so I could share my thoughts without the risk of missing anything.

Over the course of the summer, I talked with many, many faculty – the messages have been clear and consistent, and we have heard you -- I have heard you. And I continue to hear you.

Please accept our apologies, my apology.

As always, we were and are operating from a place of good intentions and from what we believed and believe to be in the best interest of the whole. My objective when I became Provost was simple – to bridge the distance between faculty and administration while navigating a precarious accreditation and fiscal moment. Regrettably, we clearly missed the mark and deepened the chasm. Again, I am so sorry.

We now need to mend to bring our campus together.

There are many who have been working toward this in two significant ways: First, we have earnestly been listening and responding to feedback from you by changing the plan. From teaching loads to direct admission to master programs, a variety of changes and clarifications are already incorporated into the plan. The conversations that have had the most significant impact in these course corrections have been my weekly conversations with the faculty senate leadership, Scott and Jennifer, who passionately and effectively voiced the concerns of our faculty with a focus on bringing us together.

Thank you, Scott and Jennifer, for your tireless involvement deftly navigating a critical time at our university.

At the same time, work continued on another front involving many conversations, with the board, to allow greater flexibility on our path forward. This culminated in a pivotal moment earlier this week when the Board went into executive session following a tense but meaningful exchange among board members, students, staff, and faculty – including four faculty from this body – Scott, Jennifer, Ram, and Lars.

During that executive session, the Board considered several resolutions that had been circulating, including those that would have closed paths for alternatives. Gerry and I argued strongly – as we did in open session -- that the best path forward for the institu-

graphic by Emma Palmer

In 2016, the University of Tulsa consisted of 1,200 international students, versus 750 international students this year.

tion was to open the door for alternative solutions to the challenges which lay ahead.

As a result, the Board passed this resolution: RESOLVED, the Board welcomes and will carefully consider recommendations of the University’s established Task Forces for implementation of the True Commitment recommended to it by the administration if received on or before January 1, 2020.

To this end, the board has also heard you.

This is a pivotal moment for all faculty.

Through this resolution – and some earlier board conversations that I referenced in my last e-mail -- question of “if” -- not merely “how” -- to implement some of the structural changes announced is in the faculty’s hands. This doesn’t relinquish responsibility, and accountability, for the necessary outcomes. The Board’s decision in May to release $11 million of quasi endowment – in addition to the approximately 5% income of the endowment -- to partially fill a budget gap was in great part a response to their confidence this plan would positively impact student recruitment, retention and efficiencies all of which would positively impact our bottom line.

Our enemy is not each other -- our enemy is an uncertain future. The outlook for TU is stronger than many private four-year universities, but the challenges we face are very real and very significant. I believe that the faculty who sat through this week’s board meeting can and should shed light on the nature and depth of these challenges. As I reflected during the board meeting, we have been too protective of the information which would help all of you understand these challenges better, and I am committed to sharing it.

These last five months – actually these past 17 months -- have been very difficult for all of us.

And with this apology -- and with the added flexibility we—collectively--have unlocked, I will pivot my time and my energy to where it belongs, focusing, with you – the faculty senate -- on our future, on mending our campus to better and proactively respond to the challenges which lie ahead, and on finding meaningful ways to grow and elevate the institution. The most energizing moments over the past few months have been in one-on-one conversations with faculty about creative alternatives to the sta-

applications. Now, the agency emphasizes the consulates “must refuse” applicants if they are “not satisfied that the applicant’s present intent is to depart” from the U.S. when they completed their studies.

Worldwide competition for international students is critical. Goodman reports that while the U.S. used to account for almost half of all international students globally, “now about 24 percent of all international students come here.”

Instead, other countries like Germany, Canada and Australia are seeing growth due to employing programs and international outreach to recruit foreign students. This is coupled with the fact that it is easier for international students to stay in the country after they graduate and join the workforce.

NAFSA finds that total international students in the U.S. have reached one million, making this group important in a university’s revenue model. A decline in this population, they claim, “results in the cutting of programs or departments, laying off professors and stunting programs.”

Admissions officers can help by selecting students more efficiently and finding those who will stay and graduate.

When quoted in 2018, TU’s Earl Johnson said, “It’s a fairly uncertain time for all higher education institutions in the U.S. Right now, we feel the glass is half full.”

International students typically pay TU’s full tuition in cash, according to the Tulsa World. More schools compete for these students, and this coincides with TU’s loss in revenue. Still, TU continues its efforts to recruit international students and stabilize the enrollment.

The decrease of international students continues, however, and on campus it is easy to feel the ripple marks left by their absence. According to TU’s website, while there were approximately 1,200 international students from 79 countries in 2016, now there are around 750 students from 65 countries enrolled. Johnson worries this loss may affect the ability to deliver on its educational mission to offer an inclusive, diverse learning environment.

In her remarks introducing this option, Provost Levit offered an apology for True Commitment’s tumultuous rollout as well as context for the new offer.

Introduction by Student Writer Lindsey Prather

tus quo. Together, let’s harness the energy that this moment sparked to create together our future.

So, on to the details – where does flexibility exist, and how should the input be provided.

Three areas that were part of the academic restructuring will be open for modification and alternative ideas as follows: 1. Divisions in A&S – The faculty Faculty Senate leadership has endorsed the A&S task force on divisions that was elected at the request of a delegation of dept chairs from A&S. We have already given the goals and objectives of the original recommendation to Scott and Jennifer and will meet with Diane Beals to do the same.

2. Divisions in ENS – Faculty Senate requested that a committee be elected in ENS, mirroring A&S, to report on a division structure for the college. Again, Jennifer and Scott have the goals and objectives of the original recommendation, and Jim and I will meet with the committee chair once elected.

3. Professional College Consortium – The faculty senate has endorsed the work of the Professional College Task Force and Graduate School task force already formed.

Faculty senate leadership received the goals and objectives, and the work of these task forces are already under way.

University-wide policies 1. Teaching loads – in response to feedback I received from many of you, we have simplified the policy and returned more autonomy and accountability to the hands of department chairs and deans. I understand that the faculty affairs committee will be looking at this as well, and their report, which I believe is due on December 1, will be fully considered in contemplating further adjustments to the policy.

Program priorities – two paths for change – the first has been available since June, the second became a real possibility in August following my meeting with the HLC liaison 1. Reconsideration of program decisions: Programs which are not satisfied with the decision of the PPRC relating to program closure may request reconsideration of the decision. The PPRC released all the data it used in reaching its decisions in June. The deans council met the past two weeks to discuss how these requests for reconsideration would be assessed.

Reconsideration is limited to errors of fact or correction of incorrect data. The burden of proof is on the person/program making the request. Thus it is incumbent on the program to provide credible evidence to substantiate its claim of errors or incorrect data.

For programs that have already submitted, there will be no prejudice if that program wants to resubmit or submit an addendum.

I have received four requests so far, and there is no deadline. There has been some confusion over whether these requests flow through the deans offices or come directly to me – I would like the dean’s assessment in evaluating the request. Following a discussion of each request in deans council, I will write a decision that will then be submitted to the president and the faculty senate for consideration prior to sending to the board.

2. New Programs: Faculty members can also propose redesigned programs related to sun-setting programs through the college curriculum committees and then either the University Curriculum Committee (undergraduate) or Graduate Council (graduate).

The UCC developed a form for new undergraduate program proposals early last fall, and it is on the academic policy and form library on sharepoint. All new program proposals will have to be approved by the deans’ council, the president, the board and, for the time being, the HLC. Additionally, this week, during the Board of Trustees meetings, the board confirmed its support of the TC plan as presented, but also recognizes the inability of university to implement the strategic plan without the buy-in of faculty. In response to an open exchange between faculty senate leaders and members of the board, the board opened an avenue for Faculty Senate to bring changes to the overall TC plan in a window of 30 days, which backs up to the November board meeting where our HLC representative will be in attendance. But for any proposal to warrant serious consideration, it needs to demonstrate an alternative path to several million in annual savings from academic expenses on a timeline at least as aggressive as True Commitment.

Thank you very much.

The Collegian: 10

News

30 September 2019

US absent for UN climate summit speeches Though the climate strike and the U.N. climate summit is over, activists urge on political action.

Liza Williams Student Writer On Friday, Sept. 20, an estimated 4 million people took to the streets in over 163 countries to demand action on the climate crisis. On Monday, Sept. 23, more than 60 world leaders presented their plans to reduce greenhouse gas emissions in their countries.

The climate strike was certainly not the first of its kind, as youth climate strikes have been taking place every Friday for the past year. The original “Fridays for Future” strike took place on a Friday in August 2018 and consisted of Greta Thunberg, a then 15-year-old Swedish student, sitting outside the Swedish Parliament. Since then, Thunberg has become a figurehead for the youth environmental movement, and the school strikes have grown dramatically, with the Sept. 20 strike marking the largest yet.

With the U.N. summit on climate change scheduled for the Monday after the Sept.

20 strike, protesters exhibited a heightened sense of importance and urgency for their movement. Signs waving, they challenged leaders to match their vigor.

While 65 countries and major sub-national economies pledged to reduce greenhouse gas emissions to net zero by 2050, some of the largest promises came from the smallest and least-developed countries with relatively low emissions, according to un.org.

Notable statements from major countries included France announcing that it will not enter into trade agreements with any coun-

tries that have policies in violation of the Paris Agreement, Germany committing to carbon neutrality by 2050, China pledging to cut emissions by 12 billion tons annually and the Russian Federation planning to enter the Paris Agreement, bringing the total number of countries in the agreement to 187.

The U.S. made no announcements or plans to reduce greenhouse gas emissions at the summit. President Trump appeared briefly, but did not speak. According to the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), the U.S. stands as the country with the second-highest carbon dioxide emissions, between China (number one) and India.

In addition to leading strikes since she arrived in the U.S., Thunberg also testified in front of Congress. When a representative asked about the viewpoint of some Americans that the U.S. should not work to reduce carbon emissions since China proves worse than the U.S. in this regard, Thunberg said “that argument is being used against you” and stated that people in her small country of Sweden say the same thing about the U.S. as people in the U.S. say about China.

President Trump has previously called for the U.S. to leave the Paris Agreement.

The 2015 agreement holds countries to limit warming to no more than 2 degrees celsius above the pre-industrial era. However, a recent report from the U.N. found that the world is on track to warm by 3.4 degrees Celsius by the end of the century and that efforts to reduce greenhouse gas emissions must be at least tripled in order to achieve the goals set forth by the Paris Agreement.

Additionally, an October 2018 report by the IPCC states that warming needs to remain at or below 1.5 degrees Celsius in order to

courtesy Pixabay Students protest in Zagreb, Croatia at “School Strike 4 Climate.”

avoid the most devastating effects of the climate crisis.

Prior to the summit, Secretary General António Guterres said he told leaders “don’t come to the summit with beautiful speeches” and asked them to instead bring “concrete plans.”

Likewise, Thunberg, who spoke at the summit, mentioned the “empty words” of politicians. She continued to tell the leaders that they are failing younger generations, who “are starting to understand your betrayal.” This understanding is exhibited in these strikes, as young people have and will continue to take to the streets until they feel

their concerns have been not only taken into consideration but also acted upon by their politicians.

Friday, Sept. 27, four days after the summit, further evidenced the rallying power behind this movement to demand politicians act on the climate crisis. An estimated 7 million people went on strike, breaking the previous week’s record for the largest climate demonstration. The summit may be finished now, but they’re not. As Thunberg wrote in her Instagram post announcing the outcome of the event, “this is just the beginning.”

President Trump under heavy fire Justin Trudeau faces several scandals before upcoming election following impeachment call As the Canadian election draws near, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has undergone criticism as racist images unsurface.

Dominic Cingoranelli Student Writer

President Donald Trump rallying in Arizona in 2016.

A second whistleblower complaint has led to substantial movement, culminating in an inquiry.

Caleb Pinegar Student Writer On August 12, 2019 a whistleblower complaint was filed against President Donald Trump for an abuse of power. The complaint didn’t gain traction until Thursday when a call for legislative investigation and impeachment took place. Since then, the story has been unraveling as more and more information comes out and an official impeachment investigation is instituted.

The whistleblower complaint mainly revolves around a specific phone call between Trump and the Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky. The phone call is being deemed as a matter of quid pro quo, or favor for favor. A rough transcript of the phone call, which has been released by the White House, can be found online, and although no actual discussion of transaction is addressed within the call, many are pointing to it as evidence of the president’s abuse of power.

The phone call took place on July 25 and began with Trump congratulating the Ukrainian president on his parties win in their congress. After pleasantries were exchanged, Trump asked about a former Ukrainian prosecutor that Biden’s son shut down.

Some see it as information that could then be used in his favor in the next election to create distrust of Biden or as blackmail against him, which would be a direct abuse of power and is considered a federal crime.

The whistleblower report also states that many who heard the call knew of the way

courtesy Flickr

this phone call could be seen and it was covered up.

According to the report, it was decided that transcript of the call was to be placed in a separate, codeword level system after being reviewed by White House officials.

This codeword level system is only used for information dealing with national security, not politically sensitive information under which the phone call fell. This news shocked former officials as the system usually does not hold phone call transcripts, and it appears the transcript was “locked down” to save current officials from embarrassment.

As more news comes out and the investigation continues, it was told by White House officials that this is not the only time a phone call was curtailed and was prevented from all members of the National Security Council from viewing it.

The report sparked an impeachment investigation which has since uncovered past actions of the president. This also called back into question Russian interference in the 2016 election and a second whistleblower complaint filed a month ago dealing with Trump’s taxes.

The whistleblower made sure that the report would be able to be declassified as it was pertinent to the safety of the democratic process and should be available to the people. They state that they were not present for the event described but was told by multiple trustworthy colleagues and decided to file the report.

On Thursday Sept. 26 House Speaker Nancy Pelosi announced the official impeachment to go underway. Since then, many Democrats have come out in support of the inquiry along with a few Republicans.

A poll conducted by YouGov between Sept.

26-27 has shown that 55 percent of Americans approve of the investigation.

On Oct. 21, 2019, Canada will vote on its next prime minister, and what would have been an easy Trudeau win two years ago is now a fiercely competitive race in light of recent scandals involving Trudeau. Current Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was sworn in as Canada’s 23rd on Nov. 4, 2015, and he is eligible for reelection. Among an otherwise highly approved term, two recent controversies might impact his chance to remain Canada’s prime minister.

Trudeau succeeded Justin Harper as Prime Minister in 2015, running on a platform of infrastructure investment, environmentalism and a revision of Canadian primary and secondary education.

Canada’s method for electing prime minister is similar to how the U.S. elects a president, but with a few key differences.

Similar to the Electoral College used in the U.S., Canada does not directly elect their prime ministers. Instead, the prime minister election is tied to the election of members of parliament; every four years, each electoral district elects a representative Member of Parliament, or MP, all of whom must be registered with a party.

The party which garners the most representatives has its leader become the prime minister and the second largest becomes the ‘official’ opposition party. In this sense, Canada technically does not directly elect its prime minister; instead, the nation elects the party they want to see in power.

class while raising them on the upper class, legalized recreational cannabis, imposed a carbon emission tax and pushed for a transmountain oil pipeline (which, if built, would transport oil from refineries in Alberta to British Columbia).

He has, however, had two major domestic controversies — the SNC-Lavalin Affair and a more recent black and brownface scandal.

The former, which arose in February 2019 after Trudeau demoted one of his cabinet members for refusing to help cover up bribery charges against major Canadian engineering company SNC-Lavalin, saw a revival of interest in August 2019 after Canada’s federal ethics commissioner determined that he had unduly influenced his cabinet member.

The brownface scandal, which emerged in September 2019, is centered upon multiple photos from 2001 which depicts Trudeau wearing brownface to a party at the private school where he taught at the time.

He apologized for this incident, stating that he “did not believe it was racist at the time.”

Shortly after, another incident of blackface surfaced. This time, the photo was of Trudeau wearing an afro wig and singing “The Banana Boat Song (Day O)” by Harry Belafonte in a phony Jamaican accent at a high school talent show.

After this incident resurfaced, Trudeau stated that he did not know how many times he had worn blackface. Almost immediately after this response, video footage of Trudeau in blackface resurfaced. This footage saw the return of Trudeau’s afro wig, but it has been confirmed by the Liberal Party to be a separate incident which took place some time in the 1990s.

Trudeau stated that he did not remember any of these incidents and admitted that “there could be more.” After four years of

“After this incident resurfaced, Trudeau stated that he did not know how many times he had worn blackface.”

In terms of foreign policy, Trudeau has attempted free trade negotiations with China and attempted to promote gender equality, environmental protection and labor standards within China; this notion was flatly rejected by Chinese leadership. Canada’s relationship with the U.S. has somewhat weakened as the U.S. government has sought to reduce dependence on globalization in recent years. Trudeau did, however, becomemake the first Canadian Prime Minister visit to the White House in 19 years.

In terms of domestic policy during his term, Trudeau lowered taxes on the middle

advocating racial and ethnic acceptance, these incidents have many members of Trudeau’s own party questioning his commitment to these ideals.

Trudeau has generally maintained relatively high approval ratings (around 65 percent in most polls), excepting a steep decrease to about 33 percent approval after the SNC-Lavalin Affair and more recent brownface scandal came to light.

Only time will tell whether Trudeau will recover from his recent scandals in time to be re-elected.

News

30 September 2019

The Collegian: 11

TU ranked last in state for student loan debt

The average debt per student in Oklahoma ranges from $13,052 at Rogers State University to $35,985 at the University of Tulsa.

While the nationwide student debt is in the trillions, the average borrower in the state owes $25,000.

Caleb Pinegar Student Writer For the past four years, LendEDU, a company that helps students plan and repay loans, has published a student loan debt report that offers statistics of student loans in the nation. The report gives the average amount of student debt per borrower for the nation as a whole, individual states and universities themselves. The 2019 report uses information from the 2018 graduating class and states that the nationwide student debt is currently at $1.52 trillion.

The report initially breaks down debt by ranking each of the 50 states and Washington D.C. The leading state for lowest amount of debt owed is Utah, with an av-

erage of $19,742 per borrower. The state with the highest debt is Connecticut with $38,776. Oklahoma is ranked at 12, with an average of $25,246 per borrower.

The report has two seperate top 250 university rankings, one for the least amount of debt and one for the highest amount. Ranked #1 for the lowest amount is Appalachian Bible College in West Virginia with an average of $3,043 for the 2018 class. The highest was removed for a discrepancy in reporting, leaving Bryant University in Rhode Island at the highest spot with $54,067 on average.

Within Oklahoma specifically, Rogers State University is ranked with the lowest amount of debt with the average borrower collecting $13,052. The University of Tulsa comes last in the list, with the average borrower from the 2018 class owing $35,985 and with 31 percent of students graduating with student debt. This amount is $5,000 more than the university before it and $10,000 more than the next private university.

Experian also came out with a report on student loan debt, tracking student loan

“The 2019 report uses information from the 2018 graduating class and states that the nationwide student debt is currently at $1.52 trillion.”

The nation wide reportings of debt have TU listed at rank #181 for the highest amount of debt owed, the highest in Oklahoma.

throughout a person’s life. They found that, as the amount of student loan debt rises, the debt for all age groups rise in tandem. The

Graphic by Emma Palmer

report analyzed data from people aged 20 to 100 and uses Experian data from the second quarter 2019 to compare the average debt of each age range.

The Experian analysis found that consumers in their 30s have the highest average student debt, with those aged 35 having the highest overall with $42,564 owed. The age that owed the least was 20 year olds, owning an average of $11,576, but that number is expected to grow as they haven’t graduated yet. The report shows that student debt follows people all throughout their life, even into their 90s.

Student debt is a rising problem in America, and more attention is being drawn toward it through reports like LendEDU and Experian’s. The full reports can be found online on the LendEDU website at https:// lendedu.com/student-loan-debt-by-schoolby-state-2019/ and the Experian article at www.experian.com/blogs/ask-experian/research/student-loan-balance-by-age/.

Do Something Nice Day arrives Saturday, Oct. 5

photo by Madison Connell

True Blue Neighbors, located on Sorority Row across from the Allen Chapman Student Union.

An opportunity to volunteer and get to know your peers, this holiday is about sincerity and kindness.

Madison Walters Student Writer @TUCollegian

tucollegian@tucollegian.org editor-in-chief

Ethan Veenker managing editor

Emily Every news editor

Madison Connell sports editor

Brennen Gray variety editor

Piper Prolago commentary editor

Chris Lierly satire editor

Sara Serrano photo & graphics editor

Emma Palmer

business & advertising manager

Brian Kwiecinski

social media & web manager

Anna Johns

distribution managers

Alaina Nauman Mary Bergwell copy editor

Hana Saad

The Collegian is the student newspaper of the University of Tulsa. It is distributed Mondays during the fall and spring semesters, except during holidays and final exam weeks. The University of Tulsa does not discriminate on the basis of personal status or group characteristics including but not limited to the classes protected under federal and state law. Inquiries regarding implementation of this policy may be addressed to the Office of Human Resources, 800 South Tucker Drive, Tulsa, Oklahoma 74104-9700, (918)631-2616. Requests for accomodation of disabilities may be addressed to the university’s 504 Coordinator, Dr. Tawny Rigsby, (918)631-3814. To ensure availability of an interpeter, five to seven days notice is needed; 48 hours is recommended for all other accomodations.

Advertising Policy: Advertising appearing in this publication does not imply approval or endorsement by the University of Tulsa or the Collegian for the products or services advertised. For advertising information, email the Collegian at advertising@tucollegian.org. The deadline for advertising is noon on the Friday proir to publication.

Letter Policy: Letters to the editor must be less than 500 words and can be sent to tucollegian@tucollegian.org. Under no circumstances will anonymous letters be published. The name of the person submitting the letter must be published with the letter. We reserve the right to edit or reject all letters. The deadline for letters is 5 p.m. on the Friday prior to publication.

Editing Policy: The Collegian reserves the right to edit all copy submitted by all writers. This editing may take place in many forms, including grammar corrections, changes in paragraph structure or even the addition or removal of sections of content.

Editorial Policy: Columnists are solely responsible for the content of their columns. Opinions expressed in columns may not represent the opions of the Collegian staff, the administrative policies of the University of Tulsa, the views of the student body or our advertisers.

National Do Something Nice Day is coming up on Oct. 5. This holiday encourages everyone to perform random acts of kindness for friends or strangers. This could be as simple as buying someone’s lunch or volunteering with an organization.

According to True Blue Neighbors director, Danielle Hovenga, joining True Blue Neighbors is one way to be involved with helping the community. True Blue Neighbor’s statement is to help build a better community, a better citizen and a better University through service learning, community engagement and civic leadership.

In response to Do Something Nice Day, Hovenga said, “National Do Something Nice Day is a reminder that being nice is a choice. It requires action and intention. Doing something nice can be a grand gesture, or it could be something quiet and small.”

She continued with, “In our day-to-day lives on campus, doing something nice for others could be as simple as holding a door open, giving a compliment with no expectation of anything in return and inviting someone to sit with you during lunch.”

As said by Hovenga, the idea of “Do Something Nice Day” is putting out a positive feeling towards others with purpose.

According to True Blue Neighbors, there are over 4,000 nonprofit organizations just in Tulsa county. There are a dozen of said organizations within a mile of campus.

She continued, “Volunteering your time with a nonprofit is a great way to celebrate this holiday, and there is bound to be one that aligns with your interests and skills. If

“‘National Do Something Nice Day is a reminder that being nice is a choice. It requires action and intention.’”

According to Hovenga, True Blue Neighbors volunteers volunteered with more than 101,000 hours of service with an economic impact of over $2 million in the greater Tulsa community last year.

True Blue Neighbors recently did a new initiative called “True Blue Votes.” In this initiative, they helped students become registered voters.

Hovenga said, “The staff at True Blue Neighbors spend a lot of their working hours out in the community, growing and nurturing partnerships with nonprofit and government organizations so that we can provide students with meaningful, and mutually beneficial, engagement and service opportunities.”

you’re not sure where to start, stop by True Blue Neighbors and our team can help you find a nonprofit match that works for you.”

According to True Blue Neighbors, they currently do not have any plans for “Do Something Nice Day.” However, they do help facilitate the United Way campaign in the month of October.

There is no true way to celebrate “Do Something Nice Day.” The possibilities are endless. At its core, it’s just a day to reflect on how much good we can do for the people around us and the world we live in.

Hovenga finishes with, “Word to the wise: Doing something nice requires sincerity. Nothing is worse than when someone is not being genuine in their niceness.”

News

The Collegian: 12

30 September 2019

ring after quiet hours. A contact card was issued and housing was notified.

9:50 a.m.

Officers are investigating a motor vehicle theft - golf cart stolen between 6:30 p.m. 20 SEP 2019 and 8:00 a.m. 21 SEP 2019. The golf cart was parked on the southwest corner of Mabee Gymnasium with no keys inside it.

Sept. 18 7:40 p.m.

Officers were dispatched to the Law School Lot in regards to a hit and run motor vehicle accident. Officers made contact with the driver of the vehicle that was damaged, and obtained the driver’s information, a statement, and photos of the damage.

Sept. 19 8:50 p.m.

Officers were notified of an individual having chest pain in University Square West Apartments. Emergency Medical Services arrived on scene and examined the individual. The individual refused transport to the hospital by EMS. 11:30 p.m.

Officers responded to a report of vandalism to a University Square West apartment. Officers met with the victim and observed egg shells, lunch meat, and glitter in front of and on the victim’s door. The incident occurred on 19 SEP 2019 between 5:15 p.m. and 11:30 p.m. At this time the investigation is ongoing.

Sept. 20 11:25 a.m.

Officers investigated a report from Collins Fitness staff regarding a student worker observed injecting themselves with an unknown substance and smoking in the locker room that occurred 11 Sep 2019, at approximately 7:00 p.m.

10:40 p.m.

Officers witnessed a vehicle back into a parked vehicle in the Mabee East Lot. Officers determined the parked vehicle owner and made contact with them. Officers obtained information from the driver to pass on to the vehicle owner.

Sept. 21 2:20 a.m.

Officers were dispatched to a Mayo Village apartment for a noise complaint. Officers made contact with the residents and conducted a party shutdown due to the incident occur-

3:15 p.m.

Officers observed the Tulsa Fire Department (TFD) responding to a medical call on the east side of the Reynolds Center. Upon arrival paramedics were treating a staff member suffering an unknown illness. An ambulance transported the individual to to a local hospital for further treatment.

Sept. 22 12:40 a.m.

Officers observed the Tulsa Fire Department (TFD) responding to a medical call on the east side of the Reynolds Center. Upon arrival paramedics were treating a staff member suffering an unknown illness. An ambulance transported the individual to to a local hospital for further treatment.

3:05 p.m.

Officers responded to an injured student athlete at the Hurricane Soccer stadium. Paramedics treated on field and transported the student by ambulance to a local hospital.

8:40 p.m.

Officers on routine building check of Hardesty Press discovered graffiti on the main building. Officers were unable to determine a suspect nor any other vandalism in the surrounding area and a work order was placed for removal of the graffiti.

Sept. 23 5:10 p.m.

Officers were dispatched to Mayo Village for an apartment lockout. While granting access to the resident, officers discovered marijuana, paraphernalia and underage possession of alcohol inside the residence. Officers disposed of the alcohol and impounded the marijuana and paraphernalia for destruction.

Sept. 24 1:10 a.m.

Officers responded to a bicycle larceny in progress at the West Park Apartments. Officers searched the area and located the suspects but they fled the area before Officers were able to detain them. One bicycle was recovered in the area.

Chris Lierly Commentary Editor Lindsey Prather Student Writer Brexit Part 3: Unlawful suspension of Parliament A ruling from the U.K.’s Supreme Court has deemed Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s attempt to prorogate Parliament unlawful. Johnson’s suspension of Parliament was supposedly meant to pave the way for a Queen’s speech, which marks a new session of Parliament.

However, there are some notable issues that have complicated this claim. Johnson notably sought to implement one of the longest prorogation periods in British history, throughout a period in which he was meant to be negotiating with EU officials regarding his Brexit deal. According to the court, this prorogation was a transparent attempt to entirely remove Parliament from the Brexit process.

This ruling produces a number of implications for Boris Johnson. Firstly, this ruling is a continuation of Johnson’s inability to control his government; he has not won a motion in Parliament since taking power as prime minister. He also must now decide if he wants to call for another prorogation of Parliament.

When questioned, this is something he has refused to rule out. This has already caused for MPs to call for his resignation. This is not surprising, but it now has significant additional weight as he performed a downright unlawful act as prime minister. It is unclear what the path forward will be, as the clock winds down to the deadline for a decision on Brexit.

Ukraine reaction to Trump whistleblower scandal After the phone call between American President Donald Trump and Ukranian President Volodymyr Zelensky, the entire news world has focused on little else. The call focused on an attempt by Trump to use defense aid for Ukraine as a bartering chip to provoke an investigation into Joe Biden’s son’s business dealings in Ukraine. The reaction from Ukraninans has been divided. Civil servants, for the most part, have lamented the possible implications of the call with one official saying, “It’s coming at the exact moment when we finally have a chance to reform Ukrainian law enforcement agencies and make them free from political influence.”

However, unlike the U.S. where the situation has been inescapable, in Ukraine “The Guardian” is reporting that the media has barely talked about it and has described coverage of it as “muted.” Ukranians are hopeful of Zelenskiy, who was sworn in earlier this year, but the story has begun to pick up coverage in the past few days.How their president ends up responding to the scandal seems to matter more to them than the geopolitical implications or what he did during the phone call.

Former President of France, Jacques Chirac, dead at 86 On Thursday, Sept. 26,former mayor of Paris and President of France Jacques Chirac died. After his passing, many French figures and foreign leaders praised his time in office. Current President Emmanuel Macron said Chirac was “a statesman we loved as much as he loved us,” and German Chancellor Angela Merkel called him “a great statesman and European.” The Eiffel Tower went dark on Thursday night in honor of the late head of state and a day of mourning will be held for him on Monday.

Chirac’s 12-year tenure as president, though riddled with scandals and lacking major legislative accomplishments, endeared him to his people. His two most lasting actions in office were keeping France out of the United States’s failed invasion of Iraq and acknowledging the French government’s role in the Holocaust. Chirac was also the standard bearer for France’s Conservative party for nearly two decades.

3:40 p.m.

Officers investigated a hit & run motor vehicle accident in the Norman Village Lot. The victim reported their parked vehicle was damaged by an unknown vehicle between 8:30 p.m. 23 Sep 2019, and 3:40 p.m. 24 Sep 2019. Officers attempted to locate the other vehicle involved in the accident.

Sept. 25 8:25 p.m.

Officers were dispatched to Keplinger/Law Lot in reference to a vehicle with a broken window. Officers made contact with the victim and determined a vehicle burglary occurred between 25 SEP 2019 at approximately 5:20 p.m. and approximately 8:15 p.m. The victim was encouraged to file a report with The Tulsa Police Department.

Sept. 26 11 a.m.

Officers responded to an injured student at Phillips Hall.

The student fell on an interior staircase and was escorted to Alexander Health Clinic.

11 a.m.

Officers and paramedics responded to an ill student at the Law School. The student, complaining of nausea and feeling faint, was treated at the scene before returning to class.

11:50 a.m.

Officers were dispatched to Tyrrell hall in regards to a student falling off an electric scooter. The student did not require any medical attention and was escorted to their residence.

1:30 p.m.

Contraband was found by a student in Keplinger Hall. Upon arrival Officers took possession of the contraband which was tested and identified as marijuana. The contraband was impounded for destruction.

10:20 p.m.

Officers were dispatched to Fisher South on report of underage drinking. Officers searched the indicated residence and located a large quantity of alcohol in possession by 12 students under the age of 21. Officers confiscated and disposed of the alcohol. The residents and guests were identified for student misconduct and a housing contact card was created.

The Collegian does not produce or edit the Campus Crime Watch except for content and brevity.

Monday, September 30 5 p.m. - 7 p.m.

Great Hall, Allen Chapman Student Union

Kappasta Kappa Kappa Gamma welcomes the campus to join us for our annual philanthropy event supporting the Breast Cancer Research foundation. We will be serving all-youcan-eat pasta, salad, bread, and cookies and will have prizes to raffle off, all for a good cause!

Thursday, October 3 8:30 a.m. - 10 a.m.

Helmerich Hall 121

Bankers & Bagels All business students are welcome to enjoy a bagel and coffee while visiting with employers from local banking/financial institutions during the morning hours in Helmerich Hall 2nd floor student lounge. These employers are also members of The Risk Management Association. Please RSVP in Handshake or email tawny-crone@ utulsa.edu Thursday, October 3 10 a.m. - 10:50 p.m.

Hardesty Hall, Room 1100 Time Management: Eliminate the Time-Wasters and Create Solutions We all have responsibilities like family, a job or campus activities added to the daily academic schedule. The competing demands can detract from academic success. Get tips to find balance and lead a successful (vs. stressful) lifestyle.

Friday, October 4 5:20 p.m. - 7 p.m.

Great Hall C, Allen Chapman Student Union

Saudi Night Join our Celebration of the 89th National Day of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia.

Feel free to bring friends and family members.

Sunday, October 6 12:30 p.m. to 1:30 p.m.

Little Blue House Sunday (Community) Service Join other TU students of any and all or no faith tradition as we work together on a community service project! This Sunday we will assemble art bags for the children at the DVIS shelter (domestic violence intervention services). All materials provided.

Monday, October 7 11 p.m. to 2 p.m.

Great Hall, Allen Chapman Student Union Student Health and Wellness Fair This event brings together students and campus health and wellness services to promote mental and physical health and student well-being at TU. The goals of the Student Health and Wellness Fair are to: • Provide tools and tips for improving mental and physical health; • Introduce students to the variety of health and wellness resources on campus; • Empower students to be proactive and confident in caring for themselves and others The Collegian does not produce all event descriptions in the Community Calendar.

Contact us at news@tucollegian.org with events.

Commentary

30 September 2019

The Collegian: 13

TU plummets in ranking, True Commitment possibly related

After spending 15 years in the top 100, TU fell to 121 this year, but it won’t neccesarily stay there.

Brayden McCoy Student Writer The University of Tulsa has long been crowned by various ranking sites, such as niche.com, collegesimply.com and bestcolleges.com, as one of Oklahoma’s best colleges. The University of Tulsa has also consistently ranked well on U.S. News’s yearly ranking list. This year TU took a plunge in

the rankings, currently resting at #121 in National Universities. When the 2018 report was released, TU celebrated its 15th year of being in the Top 100.

From there, things went downhill. The report for 2019 and 2020 saw us fall to the current resting point. This is no mere coincidence, and it even happens to collide with “True Commitment,” which is deeply rooted in “The Strategic Plan.” This plan was drawn up in in the early spring and summer of 2017 after countless strategy meetings.

The implementation of this plan has been a divisive topic around campus and potentially could be a direct factor of the drop in rankings. According to the university website and its news section, Dr. Gerard Clancy even acknowledges this himself: “Our research guided us to a five-year plan that focused our effort less on rankings and more on the long-term needs of our students, the university and Tulsa’s economic vitality.”

While it may be a nice sentiment, this statement seems to contradict itself rather heavily. After all, focusing on the needs of

the students and the needs of the university will, or should, infallibly lead to higher rankings. Yet it has had quite the opposite effect, seeing as our scores have plummeted.

The overall “score” of the university according to U.S. News is 49 out of 100. This brings even more confusion to the scene, especially when one considers the fact that TU is well known for being one of the best, if not the best, engineering schools in Okla-

The contradiction lies in the fact that this reorganization shifts focus towards ENS (Engineering & Natural Sciences) but the engineering ranking is far from the university ranking, which suggests that the program isn’t as much of a defining feature of the university as some thought. On the other hand, this shift in commitment could raise the placement of both rankings, but that can only be seen with time.

“Only time and hard work will allow TU to rise in the rankings once more, granted it is possible after the implementation of the reorganization.” homa. Yet, TU is ranked #170 in best undergraduate engineering programs for 2020.

This puts the spotlight back on “True Commitment,” which seems to favor engineering and natural science students unfairly, as many around campus have called out.

Regardless of where one stands in regards to the True Commitment, it comes as a shock to many that the university’s rank plummeted to such a degree. Only time and hard work will allow TU to rise in the rankings once more, granted it is possible after the implementation of the reorganization.

Whistleblower, coverup Trump’s biggest obstacles

As GOP support seems weaker than in scandals past, impeachment is not a far-fetched possibility.

the administration felt that it was necessary to report it the Intelligence Community Inspector General, Michael Atkinson.

The procedures in place dictate that if the intelligence community’s Inspector General deems such a complaint to be “urgent,” that information must be shared with Congress.

In this case, although it was deemed urgent, the complaint never got to Congress. Atkinson passed it along to the relevant person — acting Director of National Intelligence Joseph Maguire — but Maguire didn’t inform Congress.

“White House officials have been using the classification as a means to hide information ...”

Lindsey Prather Student Writer President Trump has been the subject of increasing scrutiny over the last several days, as accusations regarding unethical behavior in the White House have started to gain more traction. This scandal is already proving to be unlike the others that have plagued the Trump administration; Republicans have been slow to come to Trump’s defense, and continued blunders have proven that this particular incident could be the final straw for the Trump Presidency.

On Sept. 9, a report was released that revealed an anonymous Trump administration official lodged a whistle-blower complaint that President Trump made an extremely troubling promise while on a phone call with a foreign leader on July 25. This is not entirely unusual: Presidents make promises to foreign leaders on a fairly regular basis.

However, this particular promise was apparently problematic enough that someone in

This scandal has already led to one resignation; Kurt Volker, the special representative for Ukraine has resigned following his name surfacing in text messages revealed by Trump Lawyer Rudy Guliani. Volker was allegedly involved with assisting Guliani in his attempts to get in touch with Ukrainian officials in order to fulfill the requests presented by President Trump in the phone call.

This week, we saw the most potent defense that the Trump administration could muster: the informant received the information secondhand and possessed no relevant

When the House Intelligence Committee found out about this whistleblower report, they elected to subpoena Maguire to either get the information, or force him to appear before the Committee to explain why he wasn’t providing it. The whistleblower report has spurred wild speculation and prompted Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi to open an official impeachment inquiry against the President.

As more information has been revealed, it has become more and more apparent that this scandal is unlike the plethora of other scandals that have grabbed headlines since Donald Trump was inaugurated. The CIA background of the whistleblower, the alleged misuse of the classification system and the downright anemic defense offered by congressional Republicans make this particular situation dire for President Trump.

All of Trump’s interactions with Zelensky are under scrutiny.

skills to judge the situation properly. Therefore, the complaint has no firm ground to stand on; this fell flat when the New York Times regrettably identified the whistleblower as a former CIA official. This revelation appeared just hours after President Trump made a chilling comment that alluded to executing those that contributed to the whistleblower report.

Another situation of note is that the finally-released whistleblower report shows a disturbing trend: White House officials have been using the classification as a means to hide information surrounding other instances of troubling interactions. By declaring that certain phone calls contained privileged information, Trump aides were able to avoid the possibility of leaks calling attention to this behavior that is unethical and illegal at best.

Finally, the most important factor in the prospect of impeachment is the willingness of congressional republicans to defend President Trump against these allegations. This is something that the president has been able to count on throughout all of his issues, questionable behaviors and investigations; however, it appears that goodwill is in short supply for this particular trespass.

Almost immediately following the allegations regarding wrongdoing, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell held a vote on a resolution demanding the release of the full whistleblower report, as well as a detailed transcript. The Senate voted resoundingly in favor. These actions are taking place under the shadow of mass retirements among House Republicans and intensifying financial investigations into Trump businesses at the state level. Is it possible that this fatigue could cause this scandal to have actual consequences?

If President Trump goes down for something, this will be it. Unwavering support from his party has allowed him to effectively do whatever he wants. Republicans have scarcely blinked at the president funneling money into his businesses, practicing cruel immigrant internment and making outrageous claims about Democrats.

However, this is something that cannot be spun, ignored and (as we learned this week) contained. Perhaps the GOP sees the writing on the wall and is looking to shore up credibility for 2020. However, it is equally likely that President Trump has been playing with fire since his inauguration, and this is finally the point at which things begin to go up in flames.

courtesy Wikimedia Commons

The Collegian: 14

Commentary

30 September 2019

Rent control in San Francisco an ill-fated attempt to fight gentrification

San Fran should emulate Miami’s response to gentrification rather than trying to control prices.

Dominic Cingoranelli Student Writer San Francisco has an app dedicated to tracking public defecation. Seriously, it’s called SnapCrap. Look it up. Why would they need such a thing? Homelessness. As of 2017, San Francisco has an estimated homeless population of approximately 7,500, as compared to a total population of 884,000.

What’s more, a reported 71 percent of those used to have a home in San Francisco before becoming homeless. Why are these people suddenly homeless? Ultimately, a perfect storm of ineffective rent control policies and unchecked gentrification have created this problem. Let’s start with gentrification.

Gentrification is the gradual change of a neighborhood through the influx of wealthy businesses and tenants. Just to be clear, gentrification is not inherently bad ⁠— a little bit of gentrification can revitalize a neighborhood and create an economic influx which benefits the people who already live there.

As an example of this, my hometown of Colorado Springs had a relatively stagnant neighborhood called Motor City (so named

because of the copious amount of car dealerships in the area). In its death throes, this area’s only elementary school, the historic Ivywild School, closed in 2009 due to abysmal class sizes. However, a wealthy tenant bought said school and turned it into a craft brewery and bike shop, which spurred a chain reaction that revitalized the area.

Today, Motor City is a completely different neighborhood swarming with flannel-clad, bearded hipsters on inordinately expensive mountain bikes, which I suppose is an improvement.

Larger cities and metro areas, such as San Francisco, are more prone to gentrification because the U.S. population continues to gradually urbanize, meaning most urban areas have a steady influx of affluent tenants and businesses. In San Francisco’s case, gentrification — combined with a robust tech sector and proximity to world-class attractions ⁠— creates one of the most expensive real estate markets in the nation. The average home costs about $820,000, and about $119,000 is needed to live comfortably, even with rent control policies affecting 60 percent of residential zoning.

can “prove hardship,” meaning they either need to show that they are living on a fixed income, have less than $50,000 in savings or pay more than 30 percent of their income as rent.

This doesn’t address the underlying issue of immensely expensive housing. On account of that, the state of California recently passed legislation to instate rent control on a state level. The efficacy of rent control, however, is questionable: San Francisco has had rent control since 1979, and it has evidently not been an effective measure. In fact, San Francisco’s policy, which only covers about 60 percent of residential buildings, may have made things worse. This policy only covers buildings constructed before 1979; on account of that, property owners find it more profitable to demolish old vacant residential buildings and construct ultramodern luxury condos than working within the draconian constraints of rent control.

But what about California’s statewide legislation? Surely that will change things for the better, right? Probably not. Rent control de-incentivizes regular property maintenance and renovation because developers

“Rent control de-incentivizes regular property maintenance and renovation ...”

So with a large homeless population, unaffordable housing and hills so steep my Honda can barely climb them, it’s no wonder that the citizens of San Francisco have protested against Veritas Investments, the city’s largest landlord, for charging rent increases to match rising costs of operations and maintenance. In fact, Veritas has responded by granting waivers to tenants who

often do not have the ability to generate the capital to make these renovations; if it costs almost as much to own the property as the landlord is collecting from rent, landlords naturally won’t be able to afford what would otherwise be basic upkeep.

We can see this at work in New York City: projects such as 432 Park Ave, Hudson Yards and Central Park Tower all contain

luxury housing exclusively to minimize risk of profit loss. A marginal increase of rent for a building’s tenants can avoid loss of profit; rent control prevents this from happening.

Rent control in general sounds like effective and necessary policy, but in practice it incentivizes lower-quality offerings from landlords and stifles market competition.

With a de-incentivization of affordable housing on one hand and a steady influx of wealthy tech moguls and companies on the other, it’s no wonder San Francisco has seen displacement of lower-income residents at the hands of gentrification. How, then, is San Francisco to solve its housing crisis?

I would argue that San Francisco’s ideal solution is already underway in Miami, another city with world-class attractions and a very competitive job market. Because the most valuable views in Miami are on lots with ocean views, the Miami skyline is just that — a line. The ultra-luxurious apartments are built in one concentrated area, and consequently Miami as a whole is very livable; it costs roughly $77,000 to live comfortably in Miami, as compared to $119,000 to live comfortably in San Francisco. It’s also worth noting that neither the state of Florida nor the city of Miami have any rent control ordinances.

San Francisco, then, needs stricter zoning laws confining luxury apartments to a single area. The now-defunct ports facing into the San Francisco Bay are ripe for this sort of redevelopment. If San Francisco can find a developer willing to make a copycat of New York’s Hudson Yards project and subsidize affordable housing everywhere not zoned for luxury apartments, the city will see a reversal of this continued real estate escalation and simultaneously address its homelessness problem.

Blackface costumes and earlier scandal say a lot about Trudeau

Timing of the pictures’ discovery coincides with the Canadian election in October.

Adam Walsh Student Writer When I saw the news breaking that pictures of Justin Trudeau, the prime minister of Canada, in black-/brownface were released to the public, I could only think in anguished groans and rather brutal comments about the man and his lack of character. For the uninformed, the world’s most attractive world leader has found his past actions coming to haunt him in three pictures of him in black-/brownface. Once when he was a university teacher at an “Arabian Nights” themed gala and twice when he was in his late teens and early twenties. His actions were utterly braindead and racist, but something does not feel right about the situation.

now, gotten away with intimidating government officials.

I sit here wondering if his political personality is a facade, that the real Justin Trudeau holds a far harsher, more brutal view of the world. In a modern age of politics focusing on the cult of personality, I can easily see why he would hide these awful actions. His boyish charm and honest, affable persona help him in the elections, and it would be remiss to not talk about the Canadian election cycle. Conveniently, that election cycle began just before the initial picture was published, and this scandal will definitely affect his voter turnouts, especially since minority voters are key to the Liberal Party’s continued majority in the Canadian Parliament.

I am not saying this is a character assassination, but I am saying this seems like a very manipulated situation meant to generate controversy during the heart of the Canadian election season. Calling out the head of a government with proof equals easy money for any writer worth their salt. I personally disagree with the man on his politics, but I cannot comfortably call him a hardline racist because of these strange circumstances.

Is he as cleancut as his persona makes him out to be? No, but I doubt he believes in white supremacy — he raised immigration limits so that more people from racial minorities and refugees could enter Canada, and that does not sound like the action of a racehater.

Housing costs in San Franciso are astronmically high.

courtesy Wikimedia Commons

“... his responsibility for conducting these vile, disgusting actions cannot be ignored ...”

Before becoming prime minister, Trudeau had to speak in front of several panels of Liberal Party officials about his personal life and any events in his past that could erupt into scandal, but it is not so difficult to understand why he did not inform them then and there. Politicians are inherently ambitious, and so as long as no one has hard evidence of what happened, then poor actions would never be able to harm. However, we know that there was evidence of his horrible attempts to make jokes, although the release of that picture was done in a shady way.

The man that held onto this picture, who I will not name because he does not want any more press, gave it to a friend who works at The New York Times as a writer. That’s strange.

Another odd piece of the puzzle is the controversy that broke in spring earlier this year. Focusing on a Canadian construction company, Trudeau was accused of pressuring a member of his cabinet to offer what was essentially a free pass to this company to bypass certain legal codes. He was eventually found guilty of political manipulation by the Canadian Ethics Commissioner, but because the Conflict of Interest Act had no legal punishment for his breach, he has, for

Does he grant too much leniency towards certain commercial groups? Yeah, but a prime minister must keep jobs in Canada for his people. Could he spend more of his time focused on not-Quebec? Certainly, although Quebec acts as a major economic and political center, so watching over it is necessary.

Is he wishy-washy on his campaign promises? Yep, but so is every other politician ever. Should he intimidate members of his government? No. However, intimidation as a political tool was used from ancient times to now, which does not excuse it, but does explain it.

Wearing black-/brownface will always be seen as an attack on race, and his responsibility for conducting these vile, disgusting actions cannot be ignored, but I stand firm in my belief that a politician should be elected for his or her political policies over actions in his or her personal life. Justin Trudeau might be a hateful bigot, but he is not exactly on the corrupt or irresponsible politician power rankings. Any instance of political manipulation in the media always sends so many mixed signals that it is difficult to keep track of who I dislike and who I root for, but Trudeau’s not the worst. Which, in my book, is pretty good.

The PM’s apologies have not neccesarily asuaged Canadians.

courtesy Reuters/Twitter

Commentary

30 September 2019

The Collegian: 15

Sadly, Terence Crutcher’s death wasn’t followed by policy changes

It’s been three years, and Tulsa has largely failed in the oversight of its police force.

Black Lives Matter protested in Tulsa after Crutcher’s death.

Mayor G. T. Bynum scrapped a police oversight plan earlier this month.

courtesy Flickr

courtsy Wikimedia Commons

Nora Bethune Student Writer Since the untimely death of Terence Tafford Crutcher Sr. three years ago at the hands of policewoman Betty Shelby, virtually nothing has been changed in terms of Tulsa Police Department’s policies relating to deescalating potentially dangerous situations, readiness training for police or use of deadly force.

On Sept. 16, 2016, 40-year-old Terence Tafford Crutcher Sr. was fatally shot when two police officers, Betty Shelby and Tyler Turnboug, stated that he refused to show his hands. Believing he had a weapon, Turnbough tased Crutcher and Shelby shot him.

Crutcher was unarmed. Shelby was found not guilty of manslaughter and was put on paid leave following his death.

Immediately following this tragedy, Tulsans and nationwide outrage let TPD know what needed to be improved on. The Tulsa chapter of the Black Lives Matter held a protest outside of the courthouse and hashtag #TerenceCrutcher on twitter was trending in

the United States. Crutcher’s death was one of the many unarmed black people killed by police. His death fueled protests not only in Tulsa, but in states like Texas and Atlanta as well. The public said to implement bodyworn cameras, training cops in how to handle situations and putting policies in place to prevent tragedies like Crutcher’s from repeating. Use of deadly force is what lead to Crutcher’s death and the deaths of many other unarmed African Americans that were shot in situations like Crutcher’s. Although TPD does prohibit the use of deadly force “in a reckless matter” this is an extremely ambiguous line, that can be bent and manipulated to the cop on duty’s discretion.

The added policy requires that officers use deescalation tactics or alternatives to higher levels of force whenever possible and appropriate.

Even if this is a step in the right direction, it is also a very vague policy addition. Training in situations like Crutcher’s could’ve prevented his death, but the addition of a singular vague policy three years later isn’t near enough what needs to happen. Police officers need to have proper training, improved cultural awareness and extensive deescalation tactics with training in use of the different types of force. With an addition of policies that restrict chokeholds, the method of over excessive force that caused Eric Garner’s death, require officers to give verbal warnings before using force, limits the kinds of force police officers are allowed to use and require officers to stop colleagues from exercising excessive force.

Terence Crutcher can never get his life back, but with the addition of more appropriate policies we can prevent other innocent lives from being lost.

My disability and its personal boundaries

Madison Connell News Editor Whenever I meet someone new, I often get have one of two reactions to my disability:. First, they insist that they absolutely know the cause of my mysterious disability;. Second, they try to convert me.

I’m pretty open about my disability, if that weren’tit wasn’t already apparent four weeks into my column on the topic. Regardless of my personal dispositionDespite this, I, and other disabled people, deserve personal boundaries.

have” [insert whatever they think is a relevant disease].” Other times it comes from something they saw on TV. Ultimately I know they are trying to relate and help me in some manner, even though it is emotionally exhausting to listen to someone new try to diagnose me.

The worst, however, is when they pull diseases out of a hat, often based on some vague notion of the disease. Once, when I was working a desk job on campus, I had a stranger ask if I had ALS after I gave a brief synopsis of my medical history. To those of you that don’t know, ALS, or Lou Gehrig’s Disease, is a progressive neurodegenerative disease with no cure. It’s usually fatal in fewer less than five years of diagnosis.

With no proper indication, a stranger essentially tried to tell me I was dying. Maybe they didn’t \truly know what ALS entailsis.

Maybe theyry were trying to be helpful. But regardless of the attempt, it is never okay to tell something that they think you are in the process of dying a horrible death.

Often when people try to diagnose me on first impression, I don’t do anything to cor-

“... just because something is obvious about someone’s life does not mean it’s subject to small talk.”

Let’s go back to me first explain thoese two reactions.

The first one comes about from people asking me questions about my disability.

I’m a pretty open book and will often answer questions about my various ailments.

Most of my symptoms are pretty vague; fatigue, pain, weakness, passing out and brain fog aren’t exactly earth-shattering symptomsnames without context.

So, when I let a person know I ultimately don’t have a diagnosis, it’s almost inevitable that the person let’s me know what they think it is. Sometimes it comes about by them saying, “Well, my cousin’s girlfriend once was tired and in pain too, and they

rect them. It’s exhausting to try to educate people about the basics of your own lifeeach time they are doing something wrong. I know that, in a twisted way, they are trying to reach a way to relate to me and my struggles. IgnoranceThis ignorance on the lack of personal space does not excuse rudenessthe actions, however.

When people try to play “guess the disability,” they are trying to assume something deeply personal that is going to affect the rest of my life. It’s not a little game, and it’s not a just a little suggestion on something that will vanish after this conversation like what to eat for lunch. Whatever ailment I actually have likely isn’t going to go away

Just because someone seems open about their disability doesn’t mean that they have no personal boundaries about it.

anytime soon; it’s been around for over five years, it most likely will be here for at least another five, if not for the rest of my life.

This comes from a lack of boundaries.

Because my disability is such an obvious, visible part of my life, people act like its okay to comment on it. But just because

I’ve had a visible disability. I’m not sure if people think I’m an easy target to corner in my wheelchair, or if they feel guilty that my disability is “happening” to me, or they’re trying to save me before they think I’m going to die, but regardless, it’s not an OK boundary to cross with a stranger.

“I don’t mind offers for help. I do mind people assuming what’s best for me, my body and my soul.” something is obvious about someone’s life does not mean it’s subject to small talk.

The second reaction I’ve often experienced is people attempting to convert me.

Personally, I am not religious. However, I respect people’s religion; religion iscan be important to manysome people. But it’s also important to respect someone’s lack of religion.

On many occasions, Many times, I have explained my symptoms to strangers and they ask if I have turned to God. Whenever someone experiences something negative in their life, it’s not uncommon for them to turn to religion. What I didn’t expect was for people to push other people to turn to religion in hard times.

I’ve had people tell me that everything will be cured once I come to God. I’ve had people tell me they think God placed this mysterious disease on me to make me come back to him. And, I’ve had a stranger put their hands on me and try to pray it away right there on the spot.

The action of others trying to convert you because of your disability is insulting on multiple levels. First, it implies you are less- than because you have a chronic health condition. Second, it implies that this incompleteness is from a lack of faith into a God you don’t believe in. Third, it’s not respecting your choice and autonomy as a human being.

And it’s not just because I live in the Bible Belt. I’ve noticed a massive uptake in the attempts of strangers to convert me since

Besides these two initial reactions to my disability, I also face a lack of physical boundaries in my personal space.

One example I like giving is a time I tried to put on a jacket while in my wheelchair.

This particular instance, I was struggling to find the hole to put my arm through, and all of a sudden I felt someone come up from behind me and push my arm into the correct space.

This stranger assumed they knew what was best for me when they were trying to help. Had they asked me if they could help, which I would have been perfectly fine with, I would have politely declined. Sometimes disabled people need a little extra help, such as opening doors for people in a wheelchair.

I don’t mind offers for help. I do mind people assuming what’s best for me, my body and my soul.

These all come down to personal boundaries. In all of these circumstances, if people had asked if I wanted to know about what someone they know about what they think I have, or if I wanted to hear about their religion, or if I needed help with a physical task, I would have been okay with their inquiry.

People assume disabled people don’t know what they want. People often infantilize disabled people. Sometimes people will even talk to me in a baby face. They’ll assume that we don’t know what we want.

Even if we need extra help from time to time, we know what we want. We are our own advocates. We deserve the same boundaries and respect as able-bodied people.

graphic by Emma Palmer

The State-Run Media

The Collegian: 16

30 September 2019

TU engineering student lost in Phillips Hall

Despite multiple search parties, campus security have yet to free the student from building.

Brennen Gray Trapped in Oliphant TU engineer Sarah N. Dipity wandered into Phillips Hall six years ago thinking she was headed to the right place. After all, the words, “Phillips Engineering” are etched into the building’s façade with clear intention of permanence. But she had no idea what she was getting into that fateful August morning in 2013.

“At that point in my life I was so certain of who I was and what I wanted to be. Mechanical Engineering was my lifelong passion. It’s all I had ever wanted to be,” reflected Dipity.

But life had something else in store of Dipity. When she wandered into Phillips hall thinking it was an engineering building, she got lost. Very lost. On a scale of 1 – freshman in Kendall Hall for the first time, Dipity was an 8.5, generously.

“There were so many stairs, and the building was so disorganized! And there were all these weird pictures on the walls that people kept calling ‘art’ as if that were a normal thing in an engineering building,” said Dipity.

It was at that point that she realized she was stuck there. So when life gives you lemons, cut them into slices and make a collage.

She became an art major. By accident.

She worked her way through sculpture and painting, collage and woodcarving, until she became a master at all things artsy.

She had found herself. She got her bachelor’s degree in 2017, and now, six years after her initial accidental trip to Phillips, she is graduating with her master’s.

To this very day, “Phillip Engineering” remains eternally etched into Phillips Hall.

“It’s a dream come true! I would like to thank TU for never changing the ‘engineering’ label on the art building, the artists at TU for being so supportive and all my professors who bore with me through thick and thin.”

The one problem is of course that Dipity is still to this day lost somewhere in Phillips Hall. Students occasionally see her wandering the hallways during the day, happily working on this, that and the other thing.

Some even claim to have seen her at night.

“One time I was up late working on a sculpture. On my way to the kiln, a girl ran right by me muttering to herself about clay.

It was horrifying!” said TU art major I. M. Scared.

Campus security has been mapping out a plan on how extract Dipity from Phillips in time for her to walk at graduation in May, but progress is slow.

Every time they send an officer to the art building, the poor fellow turns back, claiming the dispatcher mistakenly sent him to

photo by Sara Serrano

the engineering building. This confusion has been plaguing the security team for years. But there is hope yet.

“I know I will find my way out of here.

Six years of wandering around has taught me a few things. Mostly that a literal psychopath designed half of TU’s buildings to make them complete mazes.”

No word yet on whether or not she has made it out.

Freshman refuses senior advice

Make your opinions heard with the TU-sponsored bullshit horn!

A TU senior is in critical condition after a freshman refuses to listen to their advice about college.

Gabe Powell Has opinions A University of Tulsa senior was checked into the hospital last week after suffering a nervous breakdown. It is believed to be the result of a freshman telling her, “I don’t need your advice. Fuck off.”

A nurse working at the hospital, Ima Fraude, provided some details: “Upon arrival, the student was drenched in a cold sweat, her heart was beating fewer than 60 beats per minute, and she was struggling to breathe. She kept muttering the words ‘Don’t need my advice’ over and over. Her body was literally going into shock. We gave her some muscle relaxers and now she’s thankfully back to normal.”

We asked the senior, who preferred to remain anonymous, what led to her hospitalization. She said the following: “I mean I was just telling this freshman girl about time management and club participation when she told me to screw off. I’ve never had anyone be disinterested in what I had to say, and I didn’t know how to react. I thought I had everything all figured out, and I couldn’t resist telling other freshman how they can best achieve balance and success in their lives.

graphic by Emma Palmer

It used to feel good believing I had all the right opinions and stances on college life.

Excuse me, I’m sorry, I need to go find my safe space now.”

For those well-intentioned college students trying to give advice, just remember that, if a freshman starts walking away, you can always start speaking louder and follow them to make sure they learn how to keep their life together. Freshman wouldn’t be in such a hurry if they used proper time management.

For students struggling with being heard, they can carry around a university-approved mini bullhorn, made for those moments where no one seems to be listening to you.

After all, how else are you going to make sure people hear what you have to say?

Those who are interested may pick up their own voice magnifier at the Unnecessary Advice Institute located on the corner of 51st and Irritation Avenue.

Alternatively, for quiet and reserved students that can’t seem to avoid unwanted advice, the university is selling handheld buttons inspired by Staples Easy button.

The difference lies in the fact that instead of saying “That Was Easy” this button will say “I Don’t Care” in the most bored and passive-aggressive way possible. This new device should keep those bothersome upperclassmen off your back.

It’s currently on sale for the price of some piece of mind, or $9.95.

graphic by Sara Serrano

30 September 2019

The State-Run Media

The Collegian: 17

Trump drops 2020 presidential bid; Democrats rescind impeachment inquiry Now that Trump’s no longer a threat, Democrats have dropped their investigation into him.

Zach Short Kentucky hater In a shocking turn of events, President Donald Trump has decided to drop his bid for the presidency in 2020, and the Democrats have subsequently dropped their impeachment inquiry. This incredible development occurred not long after Nancy Pelosi announced that the House of Representatives would begin the aforementioned impeachment inquiry, with Donald Trump releasing this statement in back-to-back tweets at 3:04 a.m. on the morning of Friday, Sept. 27:

(1/2)“It’s been real, it’s been fun, but it ain’t been real fun. I will NOT be running for PRESIDENT in the next ELECTION. The crooked democrats led by LYING Nancy Pelosi are trying to pin fake evidence on me and have now gone so far as to have someone (probably …

(2/2)“... the Clinton Foundation) create DAMNING evidence from phone calls that NEVER HAPPENED. No president has ever been attacked as much as me. WITCH HUNT!” Conservatives on Twitter were quick to point out the president’s use of an old adage at the beginning of the tweet, with Turning Point USA founder Charlie Kirk saying it “started the official statement with a heartwarming display of humility.” Democrats were not so kind, accusing the medium of the announcement as being “super lame,” “wack f’real” and “unabashedly inane,” to

quote tweets from Chuck Schumer, Beto O’Rourke and Greta Thunberg, respectively.

By the end of the day Friday, Nancy Pelosi had announced the termination of the impeachment inquiry. In her statement, she explained that the process likely wouldn’t have reached a Senate vote by the next election and that the Senate wouldn’t vote to actually remove Trump from office “even if he murdered a person live on national television.”

Mitch McConnell was quick to respond to the accusation by captioning a tweet with the quote, writing, “I would, and I am sure the great patriots of this country would as well, expect he had a damn good reason to commit a capital crime before an audience.”

A recent Gallup poll posing that exact question showed that only 24 percent of voting-age people would expect the president to have a good reason for killing someone, a

steep drop from the high point of 35 percent in July of this year. However, it is true that 49 percent of McConnell’s home state of Kentucky said that they would believe the president would have a legitimate impetus for a murderous display. Kentucky accounts for less than 1.5 percent of the American population, despite its monopoly on what can be voted in the Senate.

It is now expected that many more Republicans will now announce their relatively late candidacies for the presidency in the absence of Donald Trump. The most likely candidates at this point are country music star Blake Shelton, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr., Rob Schneider and some member of the Bush family whose name we will indubitably be hearing for the first time.

Announcements are expected within the next two weeks.

Saudi oilfield explosion: TU stock down TU is in dire straits without a steady flow of oil money.

Brennen Gray Oily boi Wall Street was the most silent it has been since Black Monday in 1987. Stockbrokers had their hands on their heads, and the loudest noise in the room was a distant, stifled sobbing. The culprit? An attack on a Saudi Arabian oil field.

As a result of the explosion, The University of Tulsa’s stock is down 33 percent. For comparison, this is the first time TU has been valued at less than fellow oil corporation ExxonMobil in fifteen years. It’s barely staying above its competitor, BP. With Saudi Arabia’s oil production now halved, the country’s private sector is feeling the burn, but TU has seemed to get the worst of it.

Little is known about what caused this, but there are several prominent theories. Some say that some students so outraged over all the bickering at TU that a small fringe group decided reunite the school around what it cares about most: oil. All they had to do was purchase some weapons and shoot them off, an easy feat in this country.

Another theory is students from Oklahoma State University launched the attack to get back at TU for daring to be up at halftime against them in the recent football game. Even though

OSU won the game, some students were a little bitter about that initial humiliation.

Another possible culprit is insider trading.

Maybe some crooked Wall Street suits decided to purposefully do something to devalue the worth of TU’s stock.

The last theory ⁠— and an utterly ridiculous one⁠ — is that the attack had nothing to do with TU, and in fact was a result of mounting tensions in the Middle East. It was possibly something an unnamed group did in Iran in order to incite some chaos. But that seems highly unlikely.

Of course, the situation does get worse when one considers the dilemma TU is faced with.

What is our little school to do? The massive military presence America has in the Middle East cannot simply invade all the parties that have been identified as prime suspects. And while Campus Security is a force to be reckoned with, full-scale invasion be bit a bit outside their job descriptions.

One solution could be to phase out the now unprofitable Petroleum Engineering program, but that one may be too controversial.

One proposed solution is to simply let ExxonMobil buy TU out. Both companies have long considered the record-breaking merger, and rumors perennially fly around that the deal may happen anyway. This may also help TU out of its financial crisis.

One idea, and this is considered by most as a last resort, is shifting TU’s focus from petroleum to become a well-rounded establishment that values all majors it offers with equal respect and funding. From an investment standpoint, TU putting all its eggs in one basket may just come back to bite it if something were to absolutely annihilate the oil industry. But that’s just a theory.

TU has been riding the petroleum wave for a while now.

graphic by Naomi Dunn

7 positions to revolutionize your nightlife Wanna spice things up in the bedroom? Try out these hawt positions tonight.

Sarah Le Expert in bed ... at napping We’ve all experienced the worst feeling known to mankind: being bored in bed. If you are looking for something new and exciting to try in the bedroom, here are some sleeping positions that could potentially change your life.

1. The Shrimp – Lay on your side with your body in a curve, arms and knees curled up close to your chest. This position is great when you don’t want to knock things off your bed with your long human legs, and you can pretend you have 26 tiny shrimp legs instead. Try out this sleeping position tonight to wake up feeling pink and refreshed!

2. The Greedy Dragon - Improve both your confidence and your quality of sleep by sprawling out over your bed, as if you were a greedy dragon guarding a pile of treasure. Lie with your body face-down and your arms and legs hungrily clenching the sheets. By asserting dominance over your bed, you can easily conquer restless nights. Grr! 3. The Captain ‘Cane – Don’t waste your money on essential oils and expensive pillows to bribe your body into falling asleep. If you’re going to spend money on anything, invest in a silky, luxurious blindfold for times like this. Put the blindfold over your eyes and tie a blanket around your neck like a cape. You are now virtually Captain ‘Cane! Stick your fist straight up into

Add some heat under your sheets: try out a new sleeping position!

the air like a superhero soaring through the sky and be prepared to reign in some zzz’s.

4. The Crammer – Studying hard for an exam but don’t have the time or energy to hop into bed and get some sleep? No problem. Remain sitting at your desk and lay your head down. Instead of using your arms or books as a pillow, place your 10-pound

graphic by Sarah Le

textbooks right on top of your head to cram your head between your books and desk, and you will drift off in no time.

5. The “Old U” – Tired of having to walk across Dietler Commons five times a day to attend all your classes? Ugh! We all are. At the end of the night, summon back all the energy you lost crossing the Old U by posi-

tioning your body to resemble crosswalks on the commons. Lay flat and spread your arms and legs out into the shape of an “X” and the next day you’ll have enough energy to cross Dietler Commons ten times!

6. The “T-U” - Having a sleepover with some friends? Everybody is guaranteed to have a good night with this position.

Make sure your friends are comfortable with some light contact because everyone must be connected in mind and body in order to harvest the full potential of the “T-U.” Two people will lay perpendicular to each other to form a “T” and the others will bend to form a “U”.

Be warned, do not break this formation during the night or else President Clancy will instantly be summoned to your sleepover (watch out: he hates it when this happens and will mention it in his next email). When the “T-U” is pulled off properly, everyone will awaken the next day fully rested with a ravenous sense of school spirit!

7. Literally the Number 7 – This position is like The Shrimp, but instead your body is bent into the shape of the number seven. Lay down on your right side and bend your body so you are shaped like the lucky number. If you’re adventurous (rawr!), you can try the European style of Literally the Number 7 (make sure to turn on incognito mode before Googling this one). This position guarantees you will get at least seven hours of sleep, so don’t try it if you are planning on taking a nap.

You may find a little more about yourself after trying one or all these positions, and, hopefully, you are inspired to try out some new positions of your own. Don’t forget, sleep is important and free!

The State-Run Media

30 September 2019

the

State-Run media Strictly hetero, bro.

TU profs. introduce art engineering program Concerned for the disappearance of the arts, professors have come up with a new degree program to ensure its survival.

Sarah Le ISFP and INTP Professors at the University of Tulsa are aiming to bring engineering back to the “Phillips Engineering” art school building.

A group composed of five engineering professors and TU’s last art professor met over the summer to propose the creation of a new degree program.

The program, called “Art Engineering,” aims to integrate the technical skills of engineering into the creation of art. Art Engineering will be the key to keeping the arts alive within the university by sneaking it into the “professional super college,” which is gated by the business, engineering and computer science programs. The keyword “engineering” will be the program’s pass into the exclusive club.

There are plans to make Art Engineering a four-year degree program, though only one class has been created so far: Introduction to Art Engineering, or ANES-1000 (pronounced like “anus,” but stands for “Art N’ Engineering Superprofessionalcollegespectacular”). The class made its debut this semester, taught by a mechanical engineering professor who is an avid believer of the ideology “anything is art.”

Many art majors grew insecure about their choice of degree after last year’s True Commitment revision and were unsure of which engineering/business/computer science program to eventually be corralled into. These students were first choice candidates for the class’s enrollment, but engineering students were invited to enroll as well.

ANES-1000 focuses on steering students away from “designing” art and instead “en-

gineering” art. Corporations and employers want to hire “art engineers,” not wimpy “graphic designers” or “artists”.

Paintbrushes, pencils and markers are nowhere to be found in the classroom. Art is to be created on the computer utilizing applications used in engineering contexts, like AutoCAD and Microsoft Excel, rather than art programs like Photoshop.

Upon visiting the class, the atmosphere was mixed. Those who were engineering majors reported that they breezed through the class, simply submitting straight lines with dimensions on them and calling it art, to which the professor approved. However, students who were art majors were observed crying as they worked tediously on their art engineering projects.

One student sobbed, “I have such a vivid idea I want to create, but I can’t translate it into reality using a mouse and a keyboard.

How the hell am I supposed to blend colors in Excel? Oh man, why did I come to the University of Tulsa to major in art? I could have made hundreds at home drawing porn for horny rich people on the internet instead of being here in debt.” Other students within earshot began crying as well.

The original delegation of professors who brought Art Engineering to life proudly claim that “this is the first thing we’ve ever engineered that looks like it might actually work instead of blowing up.” All of the engineering professors now consider themselves to be honorary art Ph.D. holders, thanks to the ideology that “anybody can be an artist.”

One of the mechanical engineering/art professors shed a tear as he saw students walking into ANES-1000 on the first day of classes. He reported, “You know, all my life I never considered myself an artist, and possibly even a failure of an engineer.

I went back to my office, dug up my CAD drawings from that time I tried to design a self-destructing Furby, and printed them out. They’re framed up at home above my fireplace. My wife hates them, but that night

The only required text for ANES-2000, available for $300 at the TU bookstore.

I told her, ‘Honey, that’s art I made right there. That’s art engineering.’”

Another section of ANES-1000 is planned for the spring semester, along with the debut of ANES-2000, which is “The History

graphic by Sarah Le

of Art Engineering.” A half-melted Furby is proposed to be featured on the front cover of the very lithe class textbook.

New scientific developments in study of “no homo”

graphic by Naomi Dunn

Williams and Carter on their super NOT gay date.

It’s now easier than ever to give an honest kiss to your homie with no one batting an eye.

Anna Johns #YesHomo Whether it is whispered wistfully or delivered arrogantly followed by a slap to the ass, saying “no homo,” by all accounts, is the centerpiece that ties all of mankind together. Gone are the days of aggressively flirting with that girl from your chemistry class to prove how straight you are to the boys; now, with the help of no homo, it is easier to help your homies relieve some stress without compromising your sexuality.

Sure, there used to be some risks. Maybe you may have forgotten to say the magical phrase before a night of sensual love-making, where your penis was the clay and your bro was the sculptor.

You don’t need to worry about that anymore!

That miniscule moment of fear — that dreaded questioning of your sexuality because Ryan gave it to you so good last night — is a thing of the past thanks to scientific advancements in the no homo field of study.

Dr. James “The Schwartz” Schwartzman, alumnus of the Alpha Smegma Chi fraternity and a lead researcher at the Mayo Clinic, has figured it all out.

He recalls a formative event at his fraternity that lead to his topic of study.

It was the weekend, and the ingredients of a romantic night were all laid out: heartshaped balloons, rose petals, and a private screening of “Pink Panther 2.” But, instead of a celebration of a year-long relationship between Jason Williams and Eric Carter, something drastic was revealed.

Williams and Carter weren’t dating.

“Oh, it was such a big thing,” says the Schwartz as he tucks a misshapen joint behind his ear. “Honestly, we were concerned a little at first because we didn’t want Jason’s number-one slampiece just to be another dude, but we all knew the facts: if you need to derf, you gotta derf.”

The miscommunication between Williams and Carter was apparently messy. The Schwartz remembered how Williams and Carter argued about the definition of their relationship. Carter said the two gave each other “bro jobs” and only made out after drinking “a shit ton of Bacardi.”

“I always wore socks,” Carter supposedly cried.

And, as the catchy little riff of “Pink Panther 2” stirred in the background, Williams, with the stoicism of a war-torn soldier, whispered, “But I never did.”

Later, when the Schwartz followed up about the problem, Carter said, “Just because Jason and I sometimes hook up doesn’t mean I’m no longer a Level 7 Poon Hound. It just means sometimes you gotta man the fuck up and kiss your homie.”

The Schwartz shudders. “Because of that, parties were awkward as hell.”

This critical moment caused the most important findings of the no homo industry. Through several hundred experimental studies and case-by-case studies, scientists can safely agree on what precisely makes a hook-up turn gay.

Here are the science-approved essentials to a safe, no homo night: A ton of booze - You can mask the heartpounding excitement of seeing your bro laid beneath you, lips bruised, eyes wide and cheeks flushed.

Anything you say — any compliments to your friend’s sexual finesse or the way his hair looks all pushed back like that, shit,

yeah, super sexy — will be a blur.

Socks - If your feet touch at all, then any hope of you being straight is gone. (“The feet are, like, the most sensitive part of your body. You don’t want that tickling your bro,” says the Schwartz.)

A playlist of Lincoln Park and Eminem- The crooning vocals of Chester Bennington allow for a safe mindset: one where you’re here for business, but there’s still that masculine edge to your efforts. Meanwhile, Eminem is just there to get you hyped as hell.

NO contact with balls - No accidental fondling. No mouth tricks. And — this is crucial — do not touch your balls to another man’s. Dude, what the hell are you doing?

What if your sperm is gay now?

The Schwartz emphasizes that all of these rules must be followed, lest ye be caught with the curse of a failed no homo night.

With these tips in mind, however, it will be easier to relieve some tension during your midterms, or if you think the new guy, Greg, is kind of hot and makes your heart race in a weird kind of way.