7 October 2019

Sports

The Collegian: 2

7 October 2019

No parity or excitement? College football’s dead College football expert A. C. Boyle analyzes the league after Clemson avoided an upset against NCU, crushing fans’ hopes of something unpredictable happening for once.

On Saturday, Sept. 28, an unranked 26.5 point underdog team almost upset the No. 1 ranked Clemson Tigers, the best team in college football and the defending national champions. Almost.

The unranked North Carolina Tar Heels played with resilience the whole game, and had a chance to win by going for two at the very end of the fourth quarter.

They didn’t get the two point conversion, and they lost, 21-20. A

with each other to win rings. College Football is no exception to this. In fact, it might be the sports league in America, college or pro, with the worst parity of all.

While I’m willing to come to the defense of the NFL’s parity, I will spare no mercy when talking about the so-called “parity” of college football in 2019; this once proud American institution has become a joke, and I refuse to defend bad jokes.

making things more competitive.

In recent years the Patriots have dominated everything, making six straight AFC Championship game appearances.

That might be one reason why the league’s ratings and attendance are down. But in College football, things are even worse.

The NFL balances things out by having all 32 teams operate on the same level. Each team participates in the draft.

their reputation, leading to new prospects being interested in said programs and greasing the recruitment machine for their team.

Rinse and repeat.

This is creating an immense disparity amongst the power five conference teams in college football, and it’s gotten so bad that one wonders why unsuccessful college programs even try to improve their image, instead of spending the money elsewhere (you know,

You know what? I miss 2007.

That was the marquee year for college football. You couldn’t have asked for a more eventful season; the year started with a bunch of nobody kids from Appalachian St. upsetting No. 5 ranked Michigan 34-32 in front of 100,000 stunned and embarrassed home fans.

Then unranked Colorado upset No. 3 Oklahoma. Then unranked 41-point underdog Stanford beat No. 2 USC on a game winning 4th

“... sports are supposed to be two things: fair and fun. Sports are not supposed to leave me feeling like the dice are loaded.” chance to create one of the greatest college football moments of all time slipped right through fate’s fingers.

I was watching this game with interest right up until the very end, certain that I could be watching something truly special — an upset that could be the highlight of the year. But when the game was finally over, I found myself con-

How the hell is this even possible? How come teams in this sport don’t ever get a chance to pull off miracle upsets, or shock the world, like we see frequently in college basketball and March Madness?

How come college football has become so stale outside of the perennially exciting rivalry matches and occasional duel between two great teams?

Bronze staues of the only two head coaches to win the national title in the last four years.

fronted with some vague and decrepit feeling eating away at my very soul, and I had to go outside and walk around to shake that feeling off. At the end of it, these sobering words were etched in my brain: college football is dead.

Parity is something that concerns anybody who follows sports closely. Many leagues struggle with it, being dominated by dynasties that seem as unbeatable as Superman in a world with no Kryptonite, until a new one comes along to replace them ⁠— not a change for the better, just a case of being “under new management.”

For years I have had to watch as my favorite pro sports league, the NBA, has plummeted into a mockery of itself as free agents collude

How come the rich have been getting richer, and the poor have been getting poorer?

Well, it’s not any hidden secret.

It has to do with the way recruitment works.

College football is just that: a collegiate form of athletics. Because the players don’t get paid, and because they are students, there are going to be a treasure trove of differences in style of play and skill level ⁠— but most importantly, there are going to be differences in how the sport itself is managed.

In professional football, everything is about money. The NFL can’t make money unless they drill up excitement, and the best (and only) way to do this is through

The weaker teams get a chance to boost themselves up. The stronger teams can trade picks if they choose ⁠— or stay content with their current core. Each team is roughly the same size, ignoring big market vs. small market disparity. College football, however, doesn’t operate the same way.

College football has no draft, it has the recruitment of talented

graphic by Emma Palmer

prospects to different programs.

Ameteur athletes have the best chance of making it big as a pro through signing with a lofty football program.

Successful programs stay successful by recruiting new prospects, and they do this through their legacy. If you know the sport then you know the pedigree programs by heart: Alabama, Clemson, LSU, Oklahoma, USC, Notre Dame, Ohio State and so on. For them, they are on top of the world, and everything comes easy to them.

They take the best prospects, leaving the local talents and bread crumbs to the rest, and with this golden array of talent they win big time bowl games, enhancing

on their students, perhaps?). But that’s not all.

This disparity is making college football simply unfun to watch.

I don’t think I have seen this once-proud sport in such a bad state in my entire life, and I’ve been watching college football for a long time. It’s gotten to the point where there is a disparity within a disparity; even lofty teams like LSU and Georgia are too far below Alabama and Clemson’s skill level. In fact, Alabama and Clemson have widened the gap so far that their successive prospects mean that they’ll be a virtual football oligarchy for ages to come.

They’ve split the last four national championships between themselves, are the No. 1 and No. 2 in the rankings right now and are virtual locks to win their conferences and make the four team playoff, meaning one of them will probably win the whole thing again this year. In fact, why don’t we cancel the goddamn season right now and name both these teams joint masters of the known universe?

Why don’t we cancel the sport itself and erect bronze statues of Nick Saban and Dabo Swinney instead?

And it isn’t just a skewed recruitment dynamic that damages college football’s parity. There is also the matter of unfair bowl game selections, like when UCF got left out of the college football playoff despite being undefeated in both 2017 and 2018. Or when Oklahoma State got left out of a National championship game against LSU in 2011 in favor of Alabama, even though Alabama had already lost to LSU in their regular season game.

I’m sure the cash generated from the TV ratings for a flashier game influences the decision making for these games, and this is a good time to point out that college football isn’t politics. It’s not even religion, though it’s close sometimes.

It’s a sport. And sports are supposed to be two things: fair and fun. Sports are not supposed to leave me feeling like the dice are loaded.

quarter drive. And then unranked Arkansas beat No. 1 LSU in triple overtime.

And then unranked Illinois beat No. 1 Ohio State. And then unranked Pitt beat No. 2 West Virginia. And then Kansas upset Virginia Tech in the Orange Bowl, finishing with a 12-1 record. You heard me right there folks: Kansas, one of the worst college football programs of the last decade, had the best record of any team in 2007.

It was opposite year, an exception that should have frankly been the rule. More importantly, it was outstanding to watch.

2007 was my first year watching college football, and today, I look back and I wonder what happened.

I wonder how the hierarchy had been overthrown, only for a new one to come around and pound all the little teams into submission, and I wonder why no new teams can even get the momentum rolling to build a lofty program from scrap (Bill Snyder from K-State comes to mind, but that was a long time ago.)

When I wonder where things went wrong, it’s easy to look at Alabama and their emperor, Nick Saban, who quickly marched onto the scene in 2009 to win his First National Championship of many, as the beginning of the end.

It was as if he went around proclaiming the new order as he conquered: college football is dead. I am college football.

I sincerely hope we have a different national champion this year, a team that hasn’t won it all in a long time, or ever before. If any team can do it, it’s Jalen Hurts’ Oklahoma squad, the team closest to the big two of ‘Bama and Clemson in talent. Furthermore, Jalen Hurts was a former quarterback for Nick Saban, too.

Who better to unseat the Alabama dynasty than a defector who knows the talents ⁠— and weaknesses ⁠— of his mentor? I for sure hope Jalen can pull it off, or that someone else can, so that I may once again have faith in this once illustrious sport.

To quote Leslie Nielsen: “Good luck Jalen, we’re all counting on you.”

Tulsa falls in triple overtime to #24 SMU Tulsa Hurricane details TU’s heartbreaking 43-37 loss to SMU last Saturday.

DALLAS, Texas –– The nation’s 24th-ranked SMU Mustangs came back from a 21-point deficit in the 4th quarter to claim a 43-37 home win over the Tulsa Golden Hurricane (2-3, 0-1 AAC) in three overtime periods Saturday night at Gerald J. Ford Stadium.

SMU (6-0, 2-0 AAC) scored three 4th quarter TDs to force the overtime. The OT loss was the first in four games in the Montgomery era, and the first overall since a 2014 home loss to Texas State 3734.

Tulsa had the first opportunity in the extra period and scored on a 7-yard Smith to Josh Johnson pass in the end zone for a 37-30 lead. SMU tied it on 3-yard run by Xavier Jones. In the second overtime, Tulsa’s Manny Bunch forced an SMU fumble recovered by Di-

amon Cannon, but Tulsa’s 43-yard field goal attempt by Jacob Rainey went wide left.

Tulsa tried a 42-yard field goal by kicker Zack Long in the third overtime period, going wide left.

The Mustangs clinched the victory on a 25-yard pass from Shane Buechele to James Proche.

Tulsa’s Zach Smith completed 23-of-41 passes for 346 yards and a season-best 4 TDs, while Keylon Stokes had 5 catches for 101 ayrds and 2 TDs. Shamari Brooks was just 5 yards shy of his third 100yard rushing game o the season as he gained 95 yards on 16 carries for a 5.9 average per carry.

Tulsa led 30-9 when it scored what would be its final touchdown of the game with just under 3 minutes gone in the third period. But the Mustangs scored three consecutive 4th quarter touchdowns to knot the score at 30-30 when Jones ran 4 yards for the tying score.

The Hurricane outgained SMU 500 to 440 yards in the game, but the Mustangs gained 153 yards to

Tulsa’s 40 yards in the 4th period for the come-from-behind victory. SMU also converted 6-of-6 4th downs in the final quarter and overtime.

Tulsa took a 23-9 lead into halftime as the Hurricane put up 220 passing yards and 104 rushing yards, while the Tulsa defense held the Mustangs to 31 rush yards and 102 yards through the air.

The Hurricane opened the second-half and marched 68 yards in 9 plays as Smith found Keenen Johnson inside the 5-yard line as Johnson went the final yards for the touchdown, putting the Hurricane ahead 30-9.

The Mustangs added back-toback touchdowns in the 4th quarter to pull within 7 points, 30-23, with 8:24 left on the game clock. The first came on a one-yard Ke’Mon Freeman run and the second on a 30-yard pass from Shane Buechele to James Proche.

The first score of the game came on a 64-yard interception return

by SMU’s Ar’mani Johnson at

the 8:13 mark of the first quarter.

Zaven Collins blocked the PAT, marking the second straight week that the Hurricane has blocked a kick. It was also Collins second blocked kick against the SMU, as he blocked a field goal in last year’s game.

Tulsa followed SMU’s score with a scoring drive of its own, having to settle for a 32-yard Jacob Rainey field goal to make it 6-3 with 4:16 left in the first period.

On the first possession of the 2nd quarter, Tulsa’s Smith found Keylon Stokes wide open down the SMU sidelines for a 58-yard touchdown connection to put Tulsa ahead 10-6 after the PAT, capping a 4-play, 69-yard drive.

On the subsequent kickoff, Tulsa’s Kendarin Ray picked up the kick at the SMU one-yard line and crossed the goal line for another 6 points, as the PAT was blocked, to make the score 16-6 at the 13:45 mark of the 2nd quarter. SMU kicked a 32-yard field goal to cut

the Tulsa lead to 7 points at 16-9 with 7:34 left in the first half. But, Tulsa took the subsequent kickoff 71 yards in 5 plays with a big 3rdand-1 run of 57 yards for Shamari Brooks that put the Hurricane at the SMU 5-yard line.

Two plays later, Smith threw 5 yards to Stokes for the touchdown and a 23-9 lead.

Tulsa took that 14-point lead into halftime, while out-gaining the Mustangs in the first 30 minutes 324 to 133 yards.

Tulsa returns to H.A. Chapman Stadium next week for a 6:30 p.m. game against the Navy Midshipmen. The game is Military Appreciation game, where retired and active military members will be recognized.

Tickets for the Tulsa-Navy game can be purchased online at TulsaHurricane.com, by calling 918.631.GoTU (4688) or stopping by the Reynolds Center Athletic Ticket Office, M-F, 8:30 am-5 pm.

Sports

7 October 2019

The Collegian: 3

“Horns Down” symbol ruled unsportsmanlike

Horns down, snowflakes; commentary editor Chris Lierly covers the controversy over the University of Oklahoma’s spirit squad being told not to use the iconic hand gesture.

This week, it was reported by The OU Daily that the OU Spirit Squad was “heavily encouraged” to not use the “horns down” hand sign when the Sooner football team plays Texas, by the Spirit Coordinator Phillip O’Neil.

This comes after former West Virginia quarterback Will Grier was penalized last November after he made the flipped version of the Longhorns’ iconic symbol after beating the team.

Big XII conference officials stood behind the decision, inciting an uproar amongst fans across the conference, and Oklahoma fans were particularly incensed.

During the summer, Big XII officials firmly stated that the future uses of a “horns down” gesture will receive a penalty, but have also stated, “if they do it in their bench area, we’re not going to look at it.”

However, this arbitrary decision will only increase fan use of the anti-Texas hand signal, and players will likely find loopholes.

By penalizing the “horns down” gesture, Big XII refs are broadening the definition of unsportsmanlike conduct.

The NCAA rulebook states that, “No player, substitute, coach or other person subject to the rules shall use abusive, threatening or obscene language or gestures, or

engage in such acts that provoke ill will or are demeaning to an opponent, to game officials or to the image of the game.”

It’s hard to see the “horns down” gesture falling into the abusive, threatening or obscene categories, since those are usually reserved for imitations of violent or sexual acts, so it most likley falls under the “demeaning to an opponent” clause of the rule.

If that’s how referees and Big XII officials are classifying it, then that is their prerogative, but the “horns down” sign is not some new concocted way to kick Texas while their down for almost a decade running.

What it is, however, is one way that college football authorities have decided to try and control the game when no regulation is necessary.

The “Hook Em Horns” hand signal was first used in 1955 by a Texas cheerleader, but it was just eight years later, in 1953, that a Baylor fan flipped the gesture.

Since then, teams from all conferences have used the gesture when playing Texas, but there’s no doubt the teams who have used it the most prolifically are the Longhorns’ rivals Oklahoma, Texas A&M, Baylor, Texas Tech and Oklahoma State. There’s some irony in the fact that West Virginia,

only a member of the Big XII conference since 2011, were the team first penalized for taunting Texas with “horns down,” but it speaks to the widespread use of the celebration.

College Football officials have made multiple attempts to curtail the amount and degree of celebrations that players can partake during and in between plays.

One such attempt is outlawing high-stepping or diving into the endzone when a player with the ball is far and away from the defending players.

Unlike the “horns down” ruling, the clause preventing diving into the endzone as a celebration has some grounding in protecting players since the action has caused injuries in the past.

However, by outlawing a light taunting gesture against a widely despised program, the Big XII makes it easier for fans to cast conference leadership as biased towards Texas, as some believe them to be, and for Oklahoma to make Texas out to be the villain year in and year out.

Texas fans have a reputation for complaining about other teams’ sportsmanship more than most other fanbases.

graphic by Brennen Gray

Australia may be first to cut UFC Ring Girls Sports Journalist Hannah Robbins discusses the latest controversy with the U.F.C.’s Octagon Girls and whether or not the stir is valid.

When the U.F.C. came to Melbourne, Victoria Premier Daniel Andrews and Melbourne Lord Mayor Sally Capp wanted the ring girls to stay home. Sometimes referred to as Octagon Girls, these women hold up signs that indicate what round is about to begin in U.F.C. fights.

There is no doubt that the bikini-clad women are being objectified, and politicians in Melbourne wanted to put a stop to it. In remarks earlier this month, the politicians did not want the ring girls to be at the fight.

Capp put it simply: “It’s 2019, do we really still need scantily clad women to wander around the middle of a fighting ring between rounds?”

However, in the days before the match, U.F.C. President Dana White who said “to start going off [on the ring girls], it’s ridiculous.”

After telling people to simply look up what the women are paid

($25,000 a year, in case anyone’s wondering), he stated that Octagon Girls are brand ambassadors and are treated well because of it.

The Octagon Girls ban is not unprecedented; last month, a boxing match between Jeff Horn and Michael Zerafa in Australia saw ring girls replaced by male “fight progress managers,” who were fully clothed, after local politicians and women’s advocacy groups complained.

The simple replacement of fully clothed men begs the question: why do we need ring girls at all?

Ring girls aren’t the only place where scantily clad women have been objectified in the name of information.

In the last year alone both grid girls, women who stood behind cars at the starting grid and held cards with driver’s names in Formula One races, and walk-on girls, women who escort players to the stage in professional darts tourna-

ments, were banned from their respective sports.

Last month’s boxing switch shows that the information women display could be put in any form and still have the same affect, but objectifying women is so ingrained in our culture that, instead of doing anything to change the problem, men in positions of power continue to argue for the objectification of women as they help men in some form or fashion in professional sports.

Even the name Octagon Girls paints them as lesser by calling them girls instead of women.

The omission of ring girls and other such positions in sports is such a simple decision, it should be a no brainer. This much pushback from male dominated organizations shows just how far professional sports have to go before equality is anything more than a tagline used to get more views. courtesy Wikimedia Ring Girls like Arianny Celeste (pictured) may be illegal in Australia soon.

15

Oct. 7 - Oct. 13

Monday

Tuesday 7

M & W Tennis ITA All-American Championships

Wednesday 8

M Soccer @ORU 7:00 p.m.

M & W Tennis ITA All-American Championships

Thursday 10

9

M & W Tennis ITA All-American Championships

Saturday

Friday

12

11

W Soccer @ECU 6:00 p.m.

Volleyball vs. Tulane 7:00 p.m.

M & W Tennis ITA All-American Championships

M & W Tennis ITA All-American Championships

W Tennis vs. Temple 10 a.m.

Football vs. Navy 6:30 p.m.

M & W Tennis ITA All-American Championships

Sunday 13

W Soccer @ Cincinnatt 12:00 p.m.

Volleyball vs. Houston 1 p.m.

W Golf @ Magnolia Invitational

M & W Tennis ITA All-American Championships

The Collegian: 4

News

7 October 2019

Administration sits down to discuss changes to True Commitment Chris Lierly Commentary Editor Lindsey Prather Student Writer On April 11, 2019, the University of Tulsa announced “True Commitment,” an ambitious restructuring plan that sought to reorganize the university in response to the changing landscape of higher education.

Although True Commitment was created to avoid financial, regulatory and demographic crises, its introduction was wrought with criticism leveled at its substance, process and accompanying diligence. As a result, the early weeks of the semester have been plagued with general unrest and confusion regarding all parts of the proposal.

In an attempt to gather information about the current state of True Commitment, The Collegian sat down for an interview with President Gerard Clancy, Provost Janet Levit, Faculty Senate President Scott Holmstrom and Faculty Senate Vice President Jennifer Airey. That interview was conducted in person with questions that were furnished beforehand.

Reasons for restructure The administration has cited multiple major factors that made True Commitment necessary, but the three most prominent remain the University’s financial standing, a crisis involving TU’s regional accreditor and a decline in student interest for several programs. Both President Clancy and Provost Levit have spoken at length about the complexities involved in these factors, but some of the key facts about the reasons behind these changes began are not yet clear.

Are we presently in a financial emergency situation? If not, are we approaching that cliff? And how does this reconcile with, Dr. Clancy, your public claims of us being on solid financial footing?

Dr. Clancy: “We are in an emergency situation in that we need to take steps every

other parties, and that oversight included our finances.”

Do you guys have that HLC report?

Are students and faculty able to access that report?

Levit: “There were two interim reports: one was from the team that came to campus, and the second one was a report from the Institutional Actions Committee. Those were made available to faculty to read in my office, and those reports were interim.

And we fought really hard to have the conclusion that was recommended in the first report (which was a public sanction) to have that overturned. So if the report essentially became public, then that would have undermined all of our efforts over the summer to prevent a public sanction.”

Clancy: “I think it’s important to note that the report from the team that was here in spring of 2018 was a recommendation; they were recommendations to the board. We were able to go in front of the Institutional Actions committee, let them know our actions from the Spring of 2018 to August, and what we would do going forward. That was met with strong approval from the board, and we are now fully accredited.”

Shared governance Since the April 11 announcement, proponents and critics of True Commitment have been poring over the reasons for a structural change at TU. However, in the first few weeks of the semester multiple developments have shifted the debate into a new area.

On Thursday Aug. 29, the University of Tulsa’s Faculty Senate voted to pass a resolution asserting that the administration violated the senate’s constitution (specifically Article VI) in its rollout of True Commitment. That vote brought up questions about the rapid nature of the administration’s role out of the plan last semester, the committee that suggested the changes and the potential for a vote of no confidence in the administration.

Why wasn’t True Commitment brought before the Faculty Senate?

“‘So if the report essentially became public, then that would have undermined all of our efforts over the summer to prevent a public sanction.’” year — probably for the next five years — to be able to put ourselves in a stronger position than we are right now. If we continue to operate the way we are we will not be able to make it financially.”

The financial emergency was referenced by the HLC in their report, is that correct?

Provost Levit: “In the report from the HLC, there was a clear acknowledgement that there had been a lack of oversight by multiple parties, including the board and

Levit: “I would like to argue the point that it wasn’t presented to the Faculty Senate. The PPRC had two faculty senate members on it, by virtue of their faculty senate position. There are also two other members of the PPRC who were steering committee members on the faculty senate. So of 12 faculty, a third of them were Faculty Senate representatives. I attended every Faculty Senate meeting last spring. The Chairman of the Board [Frederic Dorwart] attended the

A diagram explaining how all of the new colleges will work with the new “University Studies” requirement.

Faculty Senate last spring, and he answered lots of questions; not a single question was posed […] about if the Faculty Senate would be able to see True Commitment before it is rolled out to campus — here was every opportunity to ask that. So I guess I would argue that the faculty senate was included in the deliberations and the recommendations.”

The PPRC had signed non-disclosure agreements. Did these prevent the Faculty Senate members from putting True Commitment on the agenda?

Levit: “The nondisclosure agreements would have prevented them from putting [True Commitment] on the agenda without asking for permission in advance, but they would never ask for permission in advance.

There are also two other members of the PPRC who were steering committee members on the faculty senate. [...]”

Why weren’t students more involved in the creation of True Commitment?

Levit: “My first point would be that, in a way, students were intimately involved in the process because many of the recommendations were in direct response to student enrollment patterns and decisions that they had been making over the past five to 10 years. So, it was looking at the preferences

new changes?

Clancy: “My sense is that they will be evaluated recommendation-by-recommendation. It’s not really an all-or-nothing kind of thing. But if the Board doesn’t accept anything? We haven’t really had those types of discussions.”

So, are you seeking to incorporate the ideas that are currently being offered by the faculty in this new plan, or into True Commitment?

Dr. Airey: “I think we’ve been talking about it as ‘True Commitment 2.0,’ so the goal is to take what worked in the plan, things that there is significant faculty buyin around, and then work to come up with better alternatives for things that faculty are unhappy with.”

In your opinion, what were the most successful parts of True Commitment?

Airey: “I mean, there will be different ideas from across campus. I would say that University Studies is a great idea, and that one that we should continue to develop...

There’s the Tulsa Curriculum Review Committee, which I’m on, that is currently looking at revising the Tulsa curriculum as a whole. So the University Studies would take whatever the committee comes up with, and then leave in some other things—the Hon-

“...‘we’ve been talking about it as ‘True Commitment 2.0,’ so the goal is [...] that there is significant faculty buy-in around’ ...” of students which very much drove many of the decisions. Then, I mean students were involved as soon as they were able to be involved, and we’ve had lots of opportunities to consult with the Student Association. Lots of meetings with students in the wake of the rollout of True Commitment. Additionally, much of the feedback that we’ve received from both students and faculty have found their way into changes and alterations.”

Clancy: “We also have student representation on the Board of Trustees.”

30 day timer The Faculty Senate vote on Aug. 29 and questions about the administration’s formulation and rollout of True Commitment led to what is now the biggest development since the announcement of the plan on April 11.

In the faculty senate meeting on Sept. 19, the administration presented an offer from the board for the faculty senate leadership to craft a new plan in place of True Commitment. That offer also involves a 30-day timer, along with the stipulations that the new plan must achieve the same fiscal savings as True commitment and be presented to the board for approval.

What will happen if the Board of Trustees does not accept the proposed

ors Program, the Presidential Leaders Fellows—that kind of thing, and create a uniform freshman experience. I think that has a lot of potential to be great for this university.”

One last clarification: when is the 30day timer up? There has been some confusion surrounding this.

Levit: “Oct. 21. Which is a little more than 30 days, [...] but that was 30 rounded up, after a weekend.”

As the timer on this section of TU’s attempt at restructuring begins, faculty senate will likely try and preserve parts of the original plan that they believe works and remove the parts that they don’t.

What was announced on April 11 and what will begin implementation in the next few months are both extensive plans to restructure the University of Tulsa. However, it is unclear whether True Commitment will fully endure in this transition to True Commitment 2.0. The changes to True Commitment that occurred over the summer and the ones that may occur in the next few weeks have posed an important question. Will this new plan truly be True Commitment 2.0?

courtesy University of Tulsa

News

7 October 2019

The Collegian: 5

Impeachment inquiry deepens as more evidence comes forward

Within the last week, a second whistleblower complaint has been filed and more politicians turn to impeachment.

Caleb Pinegar Student Writer The impeachment inquiry on President Donald Trump began on Sept. 26, and within the last week it has picked up both speed and power.

The first act of the inquiry was the subpoena of Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, issued on Sept. 27, asking for documents and witnesses that could explain the situation. Pompeo purposefully missed the Oct. 4 deadline of the subpoena and accused the House Democrats of harassing the State Department. Pompeo stated that “we’ll obviously do all that we are required to do by the law” without elaborating precisely that that meant.

end of the year, after previously believing the attempt would fail.

Mike Pompeo, on Oct. 2, admitted to being present during the original Ukraine call.

This was the first time he confirmed being present for the call. Later when asked if he heard anything that gave him concern he changed the subject saying he “knows precisely what the American policy is with respect to Ukraine.”

Text messages between top U.S. diplomats in Ukraine were released on Oct. 3, creating more evidence pointing towards the whistleblower complaint. The texts showed evidence of a meeting at the White House between Trump and the Ukrainian president being set up if Volodymyr Zelensky agreed to investigate Hunter Biden. The texts also questioned the freezing of $391 million in military aid towards Ukraine, with one diplomat believing it was directly tied to the Biden investigation.

Bill Taylor, a former U.S. ambassador to Ukraine, wrote to Kurt D. Volker, the former special envoy for Ukraine, on Sept. 9, saying, “I think it’s crazy to withhold secu-

“Oklahoma Senator James Lankford predicts that Trump will be impeached before the end of the year, after previously believing that attempt would fail.”

On Monday, Sept. 30, the House Democrats subpoenaed the White House, giving them an Oct. 18 deadline to produce documents and communications that are highly delicate. The subpoena stressed the Vice President’s involvement in the events of the Ukraine call.

The hopes of this subpoena is to uncover the events of the Ukrainian phone call and any attempts that might have gone underway to cover it up. A subpoena to the Vice President is unusual, and Pence’s office quickly signaled that the Vice President may not comply with the subpoena.

Also on Sept. 30, the president stated that he is not worried about an impeachment. He pointed to the division between the Democrat-run House and the Republican-run Sen-

rity assistance for help with a political campaign.” Volkner stepped down from his position after the impeachment inquiry began.

The texts were explosive and showed that U.S. diplomats took months to carry out the president’s demands for a call with Zelensky. The texts were released by Volker after an almost 10-hour deposition with committee staff. Trump continues to deny a quid pro quo, but many believe the texts say otherwise.

Trump also called on China to investigate Biden as he left the White House on Thursday, claiming that, “what happened in China is about as bad as what happened with the Ukraine.”

Many at this point feel that the evidence of Trump using his power to interfere in the

“Reportedly, a second intelligence official is considering filing another whistleblower complaint against Trump.” ate. He believes that the House may issue an impeachment but that the Senate will acquit him.

However, Repubilcan Senator Mark Amodei of Nevada came out as being open to the investigation saying they need to “follow the facts” and figure out exactly what happened. He received backlash from his party, but more Republicans, including Mitt Romney, are taking his stance on this issue as the investigation continues. Locally, Oklahoma Senator James Lankford predicts that Trump will be impeached before the

next election is irrefusable and no longer defendable.

Reportedly, a second intelligence official is considering filing another whistleblower complaint against Trump. This official was purportedly closer to the situation and has more information. The inspector general questioned this person about the first whistleblower complaint to confirm the events described in it. This second whistleblower accusation would further confirm the initial accusation and help settle the matter about the first’s political bias.

courtesy Gage Skindmore/Flickr Nancy Pelosi (bottom) kicks off impeachment inquiry of President Donald Trump (top).

While Trump remains on his stance that the impeachment doesn’t have a leg to stand on, Nancy Pelosi continues to push for the investigation. Pelosi warned the White

House that if they do not comply with the investigation it will be viewed as obstruction of Congress, which in itself can be an impeachable offense.

Customer service workers endure odd hours, low pay @TUCollegian

tucollegian@tucollegian.org editor-in-chief

Ethan Veenker managing editor

Emily Every news editor

Madison Connell sports editor

Brennen Gray variety editor

Piper Prolago commentary editor

Chris Lierly satire editor

Sara Serrano photo & graphics editor

Emma Palmer

business & advertising manager

Brian Kwiecinski

social media & web manager

Anna Johns

distribution managers

Alaina Nauman Mary Bergwell copy editor

Hana Saad

The Collegian is the student newspaper of the University of Tulsa. It is distributed Mondays during the fall and spring semesters, except during holidays and final exam weeks. The University of Tulsa does not discriminate on the basis of personal status or group characteristics including but not limited to the classes protected under federal and state law. Inquiries regarding implementation of this policy may be addressed to the Office of Human Resources, 800 South Tucker Drive, Tulsa, Oklahoma 74104-9700, (918)631-2616. Requests for accomodation of disabilities may be addressed to the university’s 504 Coordinator, Dr. Tawny Rigsby, (918)631-3814. To ensure availability of an interpeter, five to seven days notice is needed; 48 hours is recommended for all other accomodations.

Advertising Policy: Advertising appearing in this publication does not imply approval or endorsement by the University of Tulsa or the Collegian for the products or services advertised. For advertising information, email the Collegian at advertising@tucollegian.org. The deadline for advertising is noon on the Friday proir to publication.

Letter Policy: Letters to the editor must be less than 500 words and can be sent to tucollegian@tucollegian.org. Under no circumstances will anonymous letters be published. The name of the person submitting the letter must be published with the letter. We reserve the right to edit or reject all letters. The deadline for letters is 5 p.m. on the Friday prior to publication.

Editing Policy: The Collegian reserves the right to edit all copy submitted by all writers. This editing may take place in many forms, including grammar corrections, changes in paragraph structure or even the addition or removal of sections of content.

Editorial Policy: Columnists are solely responsible for the content of their columns. Opinions expressed in columns may not represent the opions of the Collegian staff, the administrative policies of the University of Tulsa, the views of the student body or our advertisers.

The University of Tulsa employs many workers in a field nationally celebrated this week.

Madison Walters Student Writer This year, Customer Service Week runs from Oct. 7-11. Customer Service Week is a week to highlight customer service employees and all the crucial work they do for the general public.

In 1992, the U.S. Congress announced Customer Service Week as a nationally celebrated event. The holiday is celebrated annually on the first full week of October.

Customer service jobs include retail, maintenance, food service, call centers and others. According to the United States Labor Department, there were 2,972,600 employees working in service job industry in 2018.

Customer service jobs usually do not have the best hours. Workers in this field might have to work late at night, on holidays and during the weekend.

Customer service jobs can also induce “compassion fatigue,” which is caused by negative experiences with customers. These experiences can result in loss of productivity, self-doubt and even anxiety.

According to an online survey by Indeed taken by over 192,500 customer service employees, the average wage for a customer service employee is $13.09 per hour. However, as this is just an averaged value, some employees make less than that amount.

The survey also says that only 36 percent of customer service employees in the United

States think that their salaries are enough to pay for the cost of living.

These are just a few reasons why it is important to celebrate Customer Service Week. Celebrating this holiday is easy; it’s as simple as saying “thank you” to an employee. Other options could be asking how their day is or writing a card of gratitude for them.

There are many different customer service jobs on campus. One example would be the people who work in the Pat Case Dining Center.

Ashley Fouts is one of the first faces you see at the dining center. Fouts is one of the cashiers who scans student ID’s to gain entrance into the dining area, but this is just one of the many jobs she does as a cashier.

Fouts has been working at the Pat Case Dining Center for two years. Upon being asked why she decided to work in customer service, she said, “I like to help people.”

Her favorite thing about her job is getting to work with her fellow coworkers. She also enjoys visiting with all the students who come through her line.

Another face you might see in the dining center is Madison Randall, another cashier for the dining center.

According to Randall, she has been working here at the university for two months.

Her favorite thing about working here is that she loves talking to people and working here allows her to do that.

Customer service jobs have become a central part of everyday life. Don’t let Customer Service Week, Oct. 7-11, pass by without thanking an employee.

News

The Collegian: 6

Sept. 27 11:35 a.m.

Officers responded to a non-injury motor vehicle accident that occurred in the Keplinger\Law Lot. Officers were able to make contact with owners of both vehicles and facilitated the exchange of information.

2:20 p.m.

Officers responded to Hardesty Hall to recover found property. Officers recovered a wedding band but were unable to determine the owner. The wedding band was impounded for safekeeping.

10:30 p.m.

Officers observed students being disruptive in the breezeway of a University Square West apartment building. Officers instructed the students to leave the area since they were not residents of the building who complied with officers’ request.

10:30 p.m.

Officers were dispatched to University Square Apartments West for a noise complaint. Upon arrival officers made contact with the resident who was having a party. The student agreed to keep the noise down and a housing contact card was issued.

Sept. 28 1:10 a.m.

Officers responded to an unresponsive student outside Fisher East Hall. Officers determined the underage student’s condition was due to extreme intoxication. The student was transported by ambulance to a local for further medical attention.

1:15 a.m.

Officers conducted a traffic stop in the 8th and Harvard Shuttle Lot where the vehicle occupants were observed to be intoxicated and instructed to park and walk to their Mayo Village apartment.

7 October 2019

sleeping on the south side of the Henneke Building. A check for previous contacts and active warrants came back negative. The two individuals were trespass warned, escorted off property and a contact card was created.

9:25 p.m.

A Brown Village resident reported an ongoing verbal disagreement with their roommate. Officers encouraged the student to contact campus housing to mediate the matter.

6:40 p.m.

Officers responded to West Park Apartments after a panic alarm was activated in an apartment. Officers determined the alarm was activated by a piece of furniture pushing up against the panic button in the room. The furniture was moved and the apartment was secured.

Oct. 1 10 a.m.

A student reported their vehicle was damaged by an unknown vehicle while parked on campus. The student’s vehicle was damaged between 30 SEP 2019 at 4:30 p.m. and 01 OCT 2019 at 9:15 a.m.

Sept. 29 11:30 a.m.

Officers were dispatched to Mabee East in regards to a bicycle larceny. The student parked their bicycle in the Fisher South courtyard on 28 SEP 2019 at approximately 5:00 p.m. and noticed it missing on 29 SEP 2019 at approximately 11:35 a.m. Officers advised the student to file a report with the Tulsa Police Department.

1:50 p.m.

Officers responded to suspicious activity to a student’s vehicle which occurred at University Square South Apartments.

The student left their vehicle parked on 30 SEP 2019 and noticed the windows were down on 01 OCT 2019 but did not recall lowering the windows. The student advised nothing was taken from the vehicle.

7:10 p.m.

Officers were dispatched to Fisher South Hall for larceny of a bicycle which occurred between 27 SEP 2019 at approximately 5:30 p.m. and 29 SEP 2019 at approximately 2:30 p.m. Officers also advised the student to file a report with the Tulsa Police Department.

Sept. 30 1:50 p.m.

A student reported their passport had been stolen from their unlocked Mayo Village apartment on 26 SEP 2019 between 11:00 a.m. and 11:55 p.m. There are no suspects at this time.

3:15 p.m.

Officers responded to a report of malicious mischief at the Sigma Nu fraternity house. The reporting party reported students were seen urinating on the side of the house after a fraternity function on 28 SEP 2019 at approximately 2:55 p.m.

5:45 p.m.

Officers responded to a report of a vehicle accident in Lorton Performance Center lot. Upon arrival, officers made contact with the parties involved. Officers photographed the damage and took both parties insurance information.

6:20 p.m.

Officers took a report of a bicycle larceny from a student that occurred in the Fisher South courtyard on 28 SEP 2019 at approximately 6:30 p.m. and noticed the bicycle missing on 29 SEP 2019 at approximately 11:00 a.m. Officers advised the victim to also file a report with the Tulsa Police Department.

Oct. 2 3:30 a.m.

Officers conducted a pedestrian check on an individual in the the Reynolds Center parking lot. The individual was not affiliated with the University of Tulsa and had an extensive criminal history. There were no previous contacts on file or current warrants in Tulsa County. Officers warned the individual for trespass and escorted them off campus property.

3:10 p.m.

Officers documented property damage in the Lorton Lot where hydraulic fluid from a lift truck sprayed vehicles parked in the lot. Owners were contacted and advised to wash their vehicles as soon as possible.

Oct. 3 9:35 p.m.

Officers responded to a vehicle burglary at West Park Apartments. Upon arrival, officers found the suspect unresponsive in the back seat of the vehicle and contacted Tulsa Police and paramedics. The owner confirmed nothing was damaged or missing and the suspect was transported to a local hospital under emergency order of detention.

Oct. 4 10:05 p.m.

A wellness check of a student was attempted by officers and Staff. After contact was attempted at student’s listed address it was determined the student had not checked in for the 2019 school year and did not have a residence on campus.

The Collegian does not produce or edit the Campus Crime Watch except for content and brevity.

6 a.m.

Officers conducted a pedestrian check on two Individuals

Tuesday, October 8 6:30 p.m. - 8:30 p.m.

Multipurpose Room 3155, Hardesty Hall

Chris Lierly Commentary Editor Lindsey Prather Student Writer Hong Kong institutes anti-protest measures, riots continue Though the infamous extradition bill that ignited the Hong Kong protests is no longer on the table for implementation, actions taken by the city’s government have again provoked protests. The semi-autonomous state’s face mask ban went into effect on Friday.

That measure, an attempt to make the identification of protesters an easier task for the Hong Kong government, coincides with the closure of two major train systems that protesters had made use of in the past.

Protesters responded to the mask ban by carrying umbrellas en masse, making it arguably just as hard for the government to identify them. The number of protesters this weekend was lower than in the past when tens of thousands filled the streets, but the Hong Kong government seems determined to quell any kind of unrest before it grows into something larger.

Former Israeli PM Netanyahu fails to form government, challenger Benny Nantz given the chance Following a turbulent second round of elections in Israel, controversial figure Benjamin Netanyahu has failed to form a governing coalition in the Israeli government. This same issue surfaced following the first election back in April. Rather than brokering a government composed of a smattering of smaller interests, Netanyahu instead sought a second election in an attempt to solidify a stronger majority. The outcome of the new elections was remarkably similar, leading to a period of uncertainty in the Israeli Parliament.

Following this failure, Israel’s Blue and White party, headed by Benny Nantz, will now be given an opportunity to form a governing majority. Should they succeed, this would end nearly a decade of Netanyahu’s power in Israel. However, if Nantz is also unsuccessful, it could potentially spur yet another round of elections.

Trump-Ukraine communications related to Russian presence in Crimea Ukrainian President Zelensky has claimed that President Donald Trump has pledged the support of the United States to help Ukraine take back the Crimean peninsula.

Crimea was a Ukrainian territory that was annexed by Russia in 2014 in the aftermath of the Ukrainian revolution, and its ownership has become a massive point of contention in the international community.

This revelation is following increased scrutiny between the two presidents, given the allegations of inappropriate quid pro quo and underhanded deals passed between their governments. The prospect of American support in taking back Crimea would act as an even more potent bargaining chip for the Trump administration, as well as an issue that could potentially cause friction with the Russian government.

Sexy InQueeries Join us for a discussion about healthy sexual practices, birth control options and reproductive health.

Wednesday, October 9 10 a.m. - 4 p.m.

Reynolds Center

Senior Salute Senior Salute is a graduation event for graduating seniors. Graduates will receive their regalia and visit with various offices and organizations in preparation for the big day. Graduation announcements, class rings, etc… will be available for purchase from Jostens and a professional photographer will be available to take senior/graduation pictures.

Thursday, Oct. 10 9 a.m. - 3 p.m.

Helmerich Center for American Research

Lady Charts 2019 Lady Charts is an opportunity for people doing good things for Oklahoma women to come together and experience the momentum for change that is transforming our state.

Lady Charts offers thoughtful conversation, engaging presentations, and valuable workshops from fellow data mavens and social advocates from across Oklahoma.

The event is free and open to the public. Register today to save your spot and reserve you breakfast and lunch.

Monday, October 7 11 p.m. to 2 p.m.

Great Hall, Allen Chapman Student Union Tulsa Native American Day Come join us for the 3rd Annual Tulsa Native American Day Celebration! Event will begin at 9:00 a.m. and is open to the public. Vendors, artists and food trucks will be availble throughout th eday! Come listen to local community leaders and guest speakers talk about what this day means to them. Parade will begin at 12 p.m. followed by exhibition dancing.

Monday, Oct. 14 3 p.m. - 4 p.m.

Helmerich Hall, Room 121 Life After Graduation Workshop Are you undecided as to whether a full-time job or graduate school would best fit your future after graduation? Join us as Ashley Chapa, Graduate Business Programs and Leonelle Thompson, Business Career Center team up to share their ideas and give you a leg-up on preparing for life after college. RSVP in Handshake or tawny-crone@ utulsa.edu…refreshments will be provided for all in attendance.

The Collegian does not produce all event descriptions in the Community Calendar.

Contact us at news@tucollegian.org with events.

Commentary

7 October 2019

The Collegian: 7

Corruption creates a natural disaster in Indonesia tion away before planting. The slash-andburn method is exactly what it sounds like: a combination of controlled burning and cutting to clear away vegetation while leaving the soil unharmed. This is an annual occurrence, but this year is especially vicious

Short-sighted planning has caused the fires in north Indonesia, but they were avoidable.

Dominic Cingoranelli Student Writer The myriad wildfires have been raging for months now. Their sickly smoke chokes the air, turning the sky an opaque crimson color. This biblical and dystopian hellscape is not a dramatization, but a visualization of northern Indonesia.

This region of Indonesia, and especially the Jambi province, suffers the consequences of nearby palm oil plantations using the slash-and-burn method for clearing vegeta-

but imperative that the local government intervenes in this matter. Not only does this destroy the environment, and irreparably damage the physical health of this government’s constituents, but it should not be at all difficult to enforce.

“This is a case where it is all but imperative that the local government intervenes.” because of the drought that has been affecting the region, which has made it easier for the fires to spread out of the intended burn area and begin consuming protected forest area. This, combined with an El Niñocurrent that helps keep the smoke in place, has created a post-apocalyptic and foreboding sky.

As many as 1 million locals have suffered adverse respiratory effects because of this.

Slash-and-burn farming is illegal in Indonesia for this exact reason, and has been for many years. Government corruption is largely to blame for the blind eye repeatedly turned to this ominous phenomenon.

Look, I will usually advocate for a mostly free market, but this is a case where it is all

One of humanity’s greatest pitfalls is a crippling tendency to rely on short-term thinking, a flaw which has manifested itself in Indonesia as of late. It is true that forcing another method of clearing vegetation would probably require increased manpower and see reduced profit margins for the plantations which operate there. A simple cost-benefit analysis reveals that the benefits of putting a stop to this (a healthier constituency which approves more of the government and a local ecosystem which is allowed to thrive in an environment free of wildfires borne of wanton carelessness) vastly outweigh the detriments.

everything about Trump ⁠— something that Trump might actually relish and attempt to use to his advantage.

This impeachment drama is a shame because right now it is distracting most political onlookers from another subject: the two new democratic candidates who have managed to meet the prerequisites to enter the next debate.

Joining the 10 candidates from the September debate are Hawaii Congresswoman Tulsi Gabbard and California Billionaire philanthropist Tom Steyer. Both these candidates are different from each other in various ways, and both of them help to improve the Democrat field’s diversity ahead of a tough selection process.

before joking about smoking weed in an interview. Not only did this put-down permanently damage Kamala’s standings in the polls (and give way to a Twitter firestorm), it also brought much-needed attention to Gabbard’s campaign, putting her ever closer to serious contention for the democratic nomination. However, things quickly took a bad turn for Gabbard.

When the third debate rolled around and the field was whittled down from 20 to 10, Gabbard was unable to make the debate because she did not meet the requirements: to be polling at at least 2 percent in four separate DNC-approved polls. The polls on which the DNC relied were not made public knowledge, leading many to feel that Tulsi

The rest of the world generally hates when the U.S. takes up the mantle of “world police,” and it is true that we have a tendency to make things worse by intervening. This is one of those instances where investing in strengthening a democratic nation near the South China sea will not only help the environment, but also help improve U.S. standing in the region. If the U.S. were to commit an amount as small as 100 million U.S. dollars to disaster relief, the 812,000 acres of raging forest fires may be diminished, and the fact that Indonesia would not need to commit as much to this cause would pave the way for a reinforcement of Indonesia’s ability to enforce the slash-and-burn ban.

There are practical reasons beyond environmentalism to address this. If the world continues to sleep on the environment, to rely on short-term thinking and to ignore the implorement of people like environmental activist Greta Thurnberg, it’s only a matter of time before the adverse impact of mankind on our one and only planet becomes absolutely irreversible.

Gabbard and Steyer look to use their debate spots to shake up the field

With the whistleblower scandal ratcheting up every day, it will no doubt come up in the debate.

A. C. Boyle Student Writer The fourth Democratic Debate will take place on Tuesday, Oct. 15 at 8 p.m., with coverage by CNN News. Anderson Cooper will be one of the moderators for the night.

Despite the critical importance of this debate in shaping how things will turn out for the various candidates moving forward, it seems like a hurricane of events has shadowed this debate, and the newcomers surrounding it, in the past weeks.

The biggest trending story right now is the ongoing impeachment proceedings of President Donald Trump, the person whom the 12 Democratic candidates are being groomed to run against. Right now, Trump is under fire for allegedly coercing the Ukrainian government into investigating former Vice President Joe Biden’s son Hunter and his involvement with Ukranian energy oligarchs. Throw in some nifty Adam Schiff drama, and you have a great big mud-wrestling fight of he-said-she-said taking place on Capitol Hill … again.

This impeachment battle has left Democrats split on whether to push forward on impeachment in the hopes of getting the president removed, or to simply wait, lick their wounds and try to beat him in the 2020 Presidential election. Pushing forward with impeachment runs the risk of distracting from their own candidates and making

“... a hurricane of events has shadowed this debate, and the newcomers surrounding it ...”

First, you have Tulsi Gabbard, the first ever Samoan-American member of congress and the first Hindu member of congress in American history (she took her congressional oath of office with her hand over a copy of the Bhagavad Gita, the Hindu holy book, instead of a Bible ⁠— the first American politician to do so). She is also an Iraq War veteran: she was deployed there as a combat medic, and this seems to have influenced her political perspectives. Her best known policy position today is military isolationism and an emphasis on preventing America from getting embroiled in any more regime change wars. She is also a proponent of marijuana decriminalisation.

Gabbard was present at the first two democratic debates, back when the field hadn’t yet been whittled down from 20 to 10, and half the candidates were debating on stages separate from the others. During one of these debates, Gabbard gained nationwide attention for a strong put-down of fellow candidate Kamala Harris: she attacked Harris for her record of having put 1,500 people in jail for cannabis-related drug charges

Gabbard’s military experinece sets her apart from most of the field.

courtesy Wikimedia Commons

had been cheated. Now, however, she’s back in with strong enough polling, and she promises to be as passionate (and possibly outspoken) as ever.

And then you have Tom Steyer, who lacks the congressional or military experience of Gabbard, but who has experience in an entirely different field ⁠— the field of business.

Steyer is a self-made billionaire who graduated from Yale in the 1980s before opening up a very successful investment firm in San Francisco. He has been very vocal in his support for impeaching Donald Trump and can in many ways be seen as the Democrat mirror image of Trump, due to their similar backgrounds in business. Recently, Steyer has dedicated his life to philanthropy, and he now wants to attain the highest leadership in the nation with his presidential bid.

Unlike Gabbard, Steyer was not a part of the previous debates, but his candidacy, self-funded in a fashion similar to Ross Perot (the independent candidate who ran against Bill Clinton in 1992), has gained momentum in the previous months. A strong performance on Oct. 15 could go a long

way in creating a snowball effect to push his campaign forward.

These candidates making their way into the field now is a good thing for the Democrats, who are looking for the man ⁠— or woman ⁠— who can drum up the most support to beat Donald Trump. In recent months, Democrats have found themselves divided between moderates looking for more voterpalatable stances, and more far left leaning candidates, who oppose Trump with a vehement obstruct-at-all-costs mindset. Right now, it is impossible to say which approach will help them the most towards winning an election they can’t afford to lose, unless they want to see Trump’s policies gain an extra four years of time to be enacted fully. But more options and more diversity of policy are a great start, since there is bound to be one of the 12 who will truly stand out.

It has also yet to be seen how Joe Biden’s campaign will be affected by his son’s ties to the ongoing Ukraine story, but this might damage his campaign and leave the door open for someone else to take the lead in the polls. More importantly, the democrats do not want to leave their voter base alienated like they did in 2016, when it seemed like things were rigged in Hillary Clinton’s favor against Bernie Sanders- a policy that likely cost them the election against Trump. That’s why the inclusion of these two candidates to a field that is already filled with unique faces and policies should be seen as a positive thing by all.

On a side note, Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders suffered a heart attack last week while campaigning in Nevada, but he has made a full recovery and has been released from the hospital. He is expected to be up there on the stage with Gabbard, Steyer, et. al. on Oct. 15. Whatever you think about Senator Sanders and his policies, it is nonetheless good to see that he has made a full recovery and will not be hindered from debating.

Steyer also adds to the diverse backgrounds with his business experience.

courtesy Wikimedia Commons

Commentary

The Collegian: 8

7 October 2019

Streaming exclusivity will hurt companies in the long term

The myriad streaming choices will also make accessing content much more complicated for viewers.

Dominic Cingoranelli Student Writer Remember when there was just Netflix and Hulu, and nobody cared about Hulu?

Simpler times, those were. Now that entertainment and mass media companies have realized how lucrative online streaming is, these once-dominant services now have some serious competition. Well, competition incentivizes better, more cost-effective offerings from producers, so competition is good for consumers, right? In 99.9 percent of cases, I would say the answer is obviously yes.

By now, however, you can probably tell that this is one of those scenarios where that is not the case. In the streaming industry, competition is not about making your product better; it’s about making other products worse. Enter the exclusivity deal.

You can watch “The Office” on Netflix, but not on Hulu, because Netflix has paid NBC for the exclusive rights to stream the show online. In the industry’s infancy, when there were only two major legal streaming services, this was not such a big deal, and it allowed the two services to one-up

there and only there, otherwise NBC would have to admit that they have nothing unique worth buying an entire streaming service for.

Because there is now a prolific number of streaming services, and each is segmenting off its own corner of the digital marketplace, a Netflix subscription is less valuable than it was ten years ago in terms of the content it includes. Netflix knows this; that’s probably why they’ll toss a few million bucks to any recently-graduated film studies major with a script written in crayon to produce an original series.

“... people will follow the path of least resistance, and, once it becomes easier to pirate, people will pirate.” each other with new offerings. Times have changed, however, and now every vaguely media-related company has its own streaming service either available or soon to be released (Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, CBS All Access, ESPN+, Disney+, HBO Now, HBO Max, Peacock, Apple TV+, YouTube TV, NBC Sports Gold, et al.).

Naturally, since NBC will soon release its dedicated streaming service (Peacock), “The Office” will be available for streaming

Before Netflix, there was piracy. It goes without saying that piracy is illegal. Peerto-peer file sharing, torrent sites and other shady software can be used to access movies and TV shows online. When the internet was in its infancy, this was the easiest way to access online media, but there was a high probability of downloading a virus or malware. Because of the risk involved, when streaming services began to offer the same content for a monthly fee without the risk

of being tricked into downloading something as sinister as McAfee antivirus, many stopped pirating and started streaming.

Now that it is harder to access content through streaming, this trend is reversing.

The Institute for Information Law found that, in 2014, 83 percent of people in the U.K. accessed some type of streaming content legally and 38 percent accessed some type of streaming content illegally. In 2018, Variety found that some 60 percent of consumers had accessed content illegally. Although these used different survey methods (it was really hard to find two surveys of the same country, okay?), there is a clear and present increase in interest of piracy, especially when one considers that the Variety survey also found that 83 percent of pirates try to find legal channels to access the content first.

The streaming industry is tearing itself apart by focusing on short-term profit; people will follow the path of least resistance and once it becomes easier to pirate, people will pirate. Personally, though, I’m just going to be using my 10 different defunct emails and just getting a free trial whenever I want to watch something.

Greta Thunberg has broken through public debate in a profound way

Thunberg caps what has been a polarizing year by adressing the U.N. about climate change.

Adam Walsh Student Writer Taking the stage with a fire and fury not seen since the days of Teddy Roosevelt, Greta Thunberg has erupted into the global debate on climate change, going toe-to-toe with United States President Donald Trump, becoming friends with German Chancellor Angela Merkel and inspiring a new wave of young climate activists. Despite her success, she is an unlikely newcomer to the international political stage.

change shindig, with the U.N. citing their lackluster actions taken to combating climate change. Although he was not invited, when asked about Thunberg’s speech, the President of the United States tweeted “She seems like a very happy young girl looking forward to a bright and wonderful future. So nice to see!” However, there is one tiny issue with that statement. Thunberg has made it crystal clear that she fears for her future, with her speeches focusing on her loss of childhood due to this great, existential threat that hangs over humanity. Trump’s tweet infantilizes her, focusing on her age and trying to push her into the stereotypical 16-yearold girl box, but Thunberg turned the tables on him. She saw that tweet, highlighted it, right-clicked, went down to copy, then pasted it straight into her Twitter bio.

Even if you do not agree with her political positions, the sheer audacity it takes to bring some zoomer humor straight to the U.S. president demands respect. In my opinion, I prefer this little change of pace. A 16-yearold talking smack to a global leader, as much as people disagree with him, reminds me of childhood dreams of how I would rearrange

“... the sheer audacity it takes to bring some zoomer humor straight to the U.S. president demands respect.”

Thunberg is a rare type of political activist, starting out from holding a sign outside the Swedish legislative chambers and writing essays for the local paper to addressing world leaders at the U.N. She recently spoke at the United Nations Climate Change Conference, giving a short, passionate speech that used the U.N.’s own findings to hopefully spur action among the represented countries. Oh, and she is a 16-year-old Swede with Asperger’s syndrome and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Her speech was not exceedingly innovative, but her age and outspoken beliefs mean far more than words, as well as her strict devotion to combating climate change. Instead of taking a normal plane ride from Sweden to the U.S., Thunberg crossed the sea in 15 days on a completely emission-free, solarpowered yacht, spending the time in thought and enjoying the natural beauty of the world.

Her refusal to compromise her beliefs in the name of comfort demands admiration. In an age where politicians sit behind their comfy desks as most people slave away on the front lines, Thunberg’s leading by action strategy is wholly welcome and inspiring.

On its own, that is an extraordinary achievement, but, personally, seeing a 16-year-old turn seasoned politicians into clowns creates something far more impressive.

After addressing the U.N., Thunberg would outdo the Donald himself on his own turf: Twitter. Notably, the United States and Brazil were not invited to that climate

the world if I ever had the chance. She is living this streak of amazing accomplishments, punching pretty high up the political ladder.

She didn’t even stop after befriending Angela Merkel.

Thunberg looked north after conquering the U.N.’s climate summit. In no uncertain words, she made it clear to Prime Minister Justin Trudeau that he was not doing enough and that his big talk about vast plans to combat climate change is nothing without implementation. Oddly enough, for someone who has made sweeping statements about planting 2 billion trees, his government is responsible for the planning of a new oil pipeline, violating a promise he made with the indigenous people of Canada, which would dramatically increase oil production and transport in an area historically kept clean of such industry.

With how much goes on in the world, and with so many potentially world-ending problems, it is good to see someone believing we can turn this ship around. I personally have a difficult time envisioning what the world will be like five, 10, 50 years from now, but in her I can now see a little more hope that there will be something to live for.

Perhaps I am being selfish, but I enjoy her trouncing politicians because it reminds me that life is not meant to be so serious all the time ⁠— that one can take these few precious moments of mirth and enjoyment, and carry on. What can I say, dunking on politicians makes me happy.

Thunberg didn’t let an ocean stand between her and the U.N. climate summit.

courtesy Wikimedia Commons

Trump’s tweet was one in a thread of quotes.

courtesy Donald Trump/Twitter

Trump’s civil war tweets have no basis in reality

Trump has no ground to stand on and no army, but his comments are still worrying.

Hannah Robbins Student Writer While President Trump usually creates news with his Twitter presence, this week Trump’s retweets have created more opinion pieces than most of the substantive policy that has come out of the White House in months. On Sept. 29, Trump, quoting Pastor

idate behind the government that they elected, then he does not believe in the country that he governs, meaning that he does not believe in the people that gave him this power in the first place. By parroting these divisive views, he is showing how little he believes in the American public.

Trump’s words also harken back to a time when the United States was politically divided on an almost wholly geographic level, but if Trump took all of his supporters and tried to fight the Democratic supporters, he would be outnumbered by just the voting individuals that disagreed. This would not even include the individuals in opposition that could not or did note vote.

However, entertaining what that sort of division would look like is feeding into the narrative that Trump has decided to portray, and there is frankly no basis in his tweet.

There is no actual world where most establishment Republicans would decide the correct decision after their failure to be re-

“Trump’s tweet has significant power, and I am concerned what he can do with his continued usage of Twitter ...”

Robert Jefress, tweeted that in the unlikely event that the Democrats win the 2020 election, it would cause a Civil War-like fracture that the country would never heal from.

First, this message, while not Trump’s own thoughts, is amplifying voices that are trying to prevent a peaceful transfer of power, something that Washington strove for in the way he gave up the presidency two centuries ago. This is something that the country as a whole was built on, and by ignoring that cornerstone of American democracy, he is ignoring the ideals that elected him.

In addition, by threatening the country if he does not remain in his position of power, he is trying to limit both the voices and votes of the American people.

This also shows that Trump does not have confidence in his constituency. If Trump does not believe that Americans can consol-

elected would be to revolt. Yet, this is not the case for the entirety of the audience that read Trump’s tweet.

If you assumed that Trump’s statement was just another meaningless tweet, some Americans have been acting on the president’s words. There have been some tweets of several militia groups that have pledged support to Trump in the case of his failed re-election bid, which is concerning on its own, but is especially so as a reaction to Trump.

If simply repeating others’ words can do things that drastic, Trump’s tweet has significant power, and I am concerned what he can do with his continued usage of Twitter.

Commentary

7 October 2019

The Collegian: 9

“Topless decision” a win for TPS proposes cuts as Oklahoma women and bodily autonomy education crisis continues

The response to the decision by Oklahoma lawmakers has been less than satisfactory.

Caleb Pinegar Student Writer A federal court ruling in September made it legal for women in Oklahoma to go topless in public, but a lot of controversy surrounds the case. On Sept. 30, however, a ruling at the state level sustained that it was still illegal for women to go topless, and Attorney General Mike Hunter stated that

a topless roller skating party. This is something that women want, and it is a choice that they should be able to have. Men can go without a shirt but many choose not to, the same should go for women.

For years society has told women that part of their anatomy is something they should be ashamed of and they need to keep it hidden. Many feel that it isn’t necessary anymore. There has been a movement of body positivity and acceptance, and the law should change to show that we as a society have progressed.

Many feel that allowing women to go topless would show an increase in sexual assault. Sgt. Jillian Phippen stated, “What’s to stop them if you don’t have a shirt on and are exposing yourself?” This is a valid point to bring up. There is a rape culture in modern day America, but any woman willing to go against societal standards by going topless will not have any problem punching someone in the face.

If anything, a ruling allowing women to go topless would force society to shift away from a rape culture and towards one that al-

“By forcing women to cover up, society only pushes the idea that the female body is inherently sexual ...” other courts have looked at the case and decided to deny it and uphold “prohibiting public nudity as traditionally defined.”

Many people disagree with this statement and want to go topless despite their gender.

It’s 2019 and people’s ideas have changed: women want the same right as men to go topless in public. The oversexualisation of female breasts has been fought for decades by women, and the Colorado ruling shows that the fight isn’t useless. The law of what constitutes public nudity is old and outdated.

Some women don’t want to wear a shirt, some do. People should have the right to do what they want, and the push for women to go topless represents that. Gender equality doesn’t just mean that women get treated equally in the workplace, it means that they have the same control over their bodies.

After the Colorado ruling was passed and it was declared that women in Oklahoma can go topless, many women took it upon themselves to exercise that right by hosting

lows women the bodily autonomy that men have. By forcing women to cover up, society only pushes the idea that the female body is inherently sexual even further. It’s the same argument against overly strict dress codes.

Instead of forcing women to cover their bodies, it should be men that are taught to not rape them.

Women deserve bodily autonomy. Making it legal for a woman to show her nipple won’t make the world collapse into flames.

Local establishments can still enforce the “no shoes, no shirt, no service” rule to ensure that those establishments are kept family friendly and clean. The ruling wasn’t forcing anybody to go topless, it just allowed them to have the right to and showed that society was progressing. Oklahoma’s decision to keep enforcing a centuries old definition of nudity just shows that needs to listen to the women that live in it.

TPS looks to cut $20 million before the beginning of the next school year.

Sklyar Fuser Student Writer

It is no secret that Tulsa Public Schools is struggling to find $20 million to cut out of their budget before the 2020-2021 school year. This crisis is being covered heavily by the media, and TPS is responding to questions from the community through forums, meetings and questionnaires.

These cuts are being made due to the consistent decrease in enrollment and consequential decline in state funding. TPS has

Professionalization in a broad sense is trust — trusting teachers to create proper curriculum, make important educational decisions and properly teach students on an individual basis. With the increase in emergency certified teachers (along with the ongoing flight of those with degrees to other states), there has been a subsequent decrease in faith in teachers to be capable of these professional standards.

Since the teacher walk out occurred, there has been some institutional change.

Steps have been taken to improve education in Oklahoma. However, just as other forms of governmental change happen, this adjustment will be slow, and, one can hope, steady.

“The de-professionalization of teachers in Oklahoma has driven many to find work out of state.” taken a deep dive into its reserve funds as well, which have been on reserve for years for dire situations. $4 million was used in the last year, with $13-$17 million foreseen to be exhausted in the next.

There is a thought-provoking online survey on the Tulsa schools website that requires the surveyee to make financial cuts themselves. The goal is to cut $20 out of the budget, and each cut has a dollar amount associated with it. Eliminating transport for high school students, for instance, saves one dollar of the twenty.

The highest savings are achieved by increasing class sizes, the minimum being five dollars for the addition of three students per class. This is concerning, as the average class size currently is 20-21. While this may not seem like many in middle school or high school, in pre-K, for instance, a class of twenty students is overwhelming.

The fact is that the deeper the cuts are made in Oklahoma’s educational programs, the less likely the state is to get out of hole it creates. The de-professionalization of teachers in Oklahoma has driven many to find work out of state and others to pursue careers elsewhere. Without respecting teachers as professionals, there will be no institutional change in Oklahoma schools.

As for what The University of Tulsa is currently doing to help this crisis, final proceedings are on the way to re-establish accreditation for education degrees. Education accreditation is anticipated to be back on TU’s roster as of November of this year after what has been roughly a two-year process.

Accreditation at TU is incredibly important for public education in Oklahoma. As the state’s top university, it is crucial that TU shows its commitment to public education in training well-equipped teachers. The University of Tulsa should lead the state in professionalizing the role teachers and reinforcing the importance of educators.

As an education major, I have seen first hand the challenges that Tulsa Public Schools are currently facing. I have watched for weeks as second graders share coverless books during reading lessons in groups of two to three students. The crisis of funding and teacher retention requires change both from lawmakers as well as from Tulsa communities, which must work together to realize goals for the Oklahoma educational system.

courtesy PBS

Outdated school supplies have been a problem in Oklahoma schools for years.

Relationships and aid between people that don’t have disabilities.

Because of the nature of disabilities and the general inaccessibility of the world, disabled people often need extra help in their day-to-day lives. This can come in the manner of opening doors for people, helping dress someone who has mobility issues, ordering for someone with anxiety or problems speaking, taking care of household chores or a variety of other tasks.

Madison Connell News Editor Last week when I discussed boundaries, I concentrated on the struggles with strangers. This week, I’ll be tackling — or, rather, running over with my wheelchair — the boundaries that arise between established relationships, especially in relation to giving and receiving care.

First, disabled people often have different relationship dynamics with their ablebodied and neurotypical loved ones than

selves, as well to maintain a sense of intimacy.

A caregiver over-helping can feel like they doubt the abilities that you know you can perform. Drawing the line of what abilities you can do can depend on the day for disabilities that vary.

Communication is vital to understanding the boundary between a caretaker and a disabled person. That person can’t see inside

“Communication is vital to understanding the boundary between a caretaker and a disabled person.”

Some disabled people need help with just a few tasks, and others have a full-time caregiver. Caregivers can be hired, a friend, family member or significant other.

Especially if a loved one is the person that assists you, special boundaries are needed.

For example, a disabled person might need help getting dressed, but might want to keep a level of independence from their significant other and do bathroom duties by them-

your head and lives a very different life than you in terms of limitations, and they can’t be expected to understand your exact experiences without proper communication.

Another complexity to receiving assistance is a level of guilt, especially people who are new to receiving accommodations.

For a disabled person, it can feel like a burden to be asking for too much. It’s hard for anyone to admit you need help, but that feel-

ing is increased by the magnitude of help disabled people can need. This isn’t everyone’s experiences, but I know for me this can often ring true.

Finally, it can be hard to keep up good connections with your able-bodied and neurotypical loved ones due to a lack of time and energy. People with depression, anxiety or other mental illnesses might need to take more self-care days to keep up their mental health. People with variable pain or fatigue might need to cancel plans last minute to take care of themselves.

When disabled people can’t hang out as often as your other friends, it’s important to still remember us. Try to text us as often, even if we don’t respond right away. Try to invite us to gatherings, even if we can’t always say yes. And, please, try to be inclusive to the events you invite us to.

The Collegian: 10

Variety

7 October 2019

Judah & The Lion brings energetic performance to Tulsa Alternative band Judah & The Lion stops at Brady Theater on their “Pep Talks” worldwide tour.

Tori Gellman Student Writer The notion of seeing Judah & The Lion live had been hyped up to me by several of my peers in the weeks leading up to their show at Brady Theater. Having been several years since their last stint in Tulsa, it was no surprise that I recognized many faces from TU at the show. The openers, a Swedish pop-duo named Flora Cash, were confusing to say the least. With technical difficulties throughout the set and random failed attempts at stand-up comedy, I wasn’t quite sure what I was watching. However, it only made it that much more exciting when the headliners started to play.

Beginning with the bop “Quarter-Life Crisis,” Judah & The Lion immediately

ran about the stage, into the audience and layed on the ground kicking his feet into the air. The ending number was extremely comical as the entire band came on stage sporting unitards and hoodies. Starting with “The Hey! Song” and moving into “Take It All Back 2.0” it was a perfect conclusion to an excellent set.

I think my favorite part of the evening was a very intimate performance and story telling moment from Akers during “Queens Song / human.” A captivating segment from the song, “cause I can see your grandkids in the back seat, spillin’ all their sundaes from Dairy Queen,” was explained as having been an actual experience from Aker’s childhood. He and his brother always knew that when their grandmother picked them up from school, it meant they were getting DQ and on one such occasion, Aker’s big brother spilled his sundae in his lap and exclaimed a curse word. It was a really sweet story that only furthered the charm of the song.

“Cliche? Perhaps. But a genuine message from the band, nonetheless.” had the crowd going. Rainbow lights lit up a white sheet covering the band from view.

Their silhouettes could be made out, jumping and stunting from the stage. The band performed songs spanning their entire collection, including tunes from their first EP “Tennessee Whiskey.”

A particularly entertaining part of the event was when the audience was divided into two teams and made to compete for the most enthusiasm and energy. Being on team Nate was an honor, as I got to cheer on the impeccable banjo skills of one of the original three band members. Further into the evening, lead singer Judah Akers would perform the hit “JOYBOY” wearing a cape embroidered with the song title. He seemed to have an unlimited amount of energy as he

Akers’ intermittent discussions and open conversations with the crowd about serious and extremely personal topics really cemented the room as a unit. Akers repeatedly informed the audience that no matter where anyone came from or what anyone was going through, at this concert, we were all family. Cliche? Perhaps. But a genuine message from the band, nonetheless. Near the end of the show, Akers made his way into the middle of the standing area and encouraged those around him to come close to him and sing the words “you are not alone.”

Their genuine lyrics of acceptance and hope coupled with a unique blend of music styles, including pop and bluegrass, were more impactful live than on any recording.

Judah & The Lion delivered a moving performance of “Queens Song / human.” after explaining the story behind its lyrics.

courtesy Judah & The Lion

Media Lab produces student podcasts in Studio 151 Podcast Director Jenna Lazenby speaks about the various shows and opportunities the studio offers.

Lizzy Young Student Writer Did you know that there is a podcast studio located on campus? It is called “Studio 151,” and it is located in Kendall Hall across from the television studio. Before last semester, I did not know that this studio existed. I only found out because my friend was doing a podcast as part of her senior project.

I recently discovered that several other students also record podcasts there. I interviewed Jenna Lazenby, the Senior Podcast Director, to find out more about the podcasts they record, as well as how a student can get involved.

The studio has not been on campus very long. Lazenby noted, “The podcast studio

has existed since Fall 2015, so it’s still relatively new.” Being a rather recent thing on campus, it makes sense that many students have not heard about it. Despite its relative obscurity, there are several podcasts that record from the studio.

Seven students use the studio regularly.

The students who record podcasts include Aubrey Allen, Chloris Espinoza, Harry Libowsky, Devyn Lyon, Caleb Pinegar, Will Shows and Lazenby herself. These students are all anchors for TUTV. Aubrey and Will are the News anchors, and they record podcasts about current events. “Will and I just put out an episode about the Hong Kong protests,” Lazenby said, adding that it was available to stream on Spotify.

Devyn and Harry are the sports anchors, and they have episodes on the TU football games as well as the college football playoff brackets.

Lazenby called Chloris and Caleb, “the dedicated Entertainment anchors.” They

cover events such as movies, including a recent one about “IT: Part 2.”

All of these news podcasts can be found on Spotify under the title, “TU Media Lab: Weekly News and Entertainment.”

Besides the Media Lab podcast, Lazenby has her own podcasts called “Opinionated Podcast.” On the topic, Lazenby said, “‘Opinionated Podcast’ is located on Spotify, (beware mine is not always family friendly), but also Apple, Google, Stitcher, etc.”

Lazenby also noted a couple of other podcasts are recorded at TU as well. “There are a couple students who use the studio to record a Dragons and Dungeons podcast, and a student who records a bad poetry podcast, so those are pretty cool.”

All of those podcasts use Studio 151 and use roughly the same steps. The steps to take to recording a podcast are easier that one would think, according to Lazenby. The first step is deciding on a topic.

After picking your topic, then you have to record it and then, “You need to be comfortable hearing your own voice being played back, because that can be a little weird at first,” Lazenby said.

After getting used to your own voice on tape, Lazenby said then you need to choose an audio recording service, like Adobe Audition or Audacity, which are the major recording platforms in TU’s studio.

Finally, Lazenby said, “Then you need to have the patience to sit and listen to your audio back to edit and enhance your content.”

Although this seems like a lot of steps,, Lazenby ended with the assurance, “I know that sounds like a lot, but it’s actually super simple, once you get the hang of it, I promise.”

If a student is interested in getting involved in the podcast studio, they can contact Lazenby, the senior podcast director at jennal0425@gmail.com.

Threats regarding “Joker” raise questions about mental health Controversy regarding mass shooting threats toward theaters screening “Joker” necessitates conversations about mental health.

Dominic Cingoranelli Student Writer “You don’t listen, do you? You just ask the same questions every week. ‘How is your job?’ ‘Are you having any negative thoughts?’ All I have are negative thoughts.”

This bitter phrase spoken by Joaquin Phoenix in the final trailer for “Joker,” which has taken the internet by storm since its initial announcement in early 2019, are found by many to be profoundly relatable.

With a premiere at the 76th Venice International Film Festival in late August and a theatrical release in early October, “Joker” has arrived with thunderous fanfare and has been lauded by critics and audiences alike as a spiritual successor to films such as “Taxi Driver” for its depictions of social ostracization and mental health. The film follows a failed comedian and societal pariah who descends into madness and villainy.

With an internet sensation as large as this, there is bound to be some controversy.

The Fort Sill CID (criminal investigation command) received a memo of a potentially credible mass shooting threat pertaining to an undisclosed theater in the nation during the film’s premiere. The original threat may be traced back to Texas, but the threat did not specify a location and so may not have been Texas-specific.

Army officials later determined that this was a non-credible threat, but the Los Angeles and New York Police Departments have both reported catching wind of threats as well; both of these were determined to be non-credible threats, although increased precautions are in effect by many police departments across the nation. Although discussion of potential shootings took place amongst deep-web circles, especially amongst the “incel” community (an online collective of self-labeled involuntary celibates), there was no evidence of concrete plans observed.

So no harm no foul, right? Well, this is not to say that it is OK to post shooting threats ⁠— because it isn’t, for the same reason you can’t yell “fire” in a movie theater. When you give people cause to panic, they are liable to act rashly, and someone is likely to get hurt. In either instance, these threats are a call for attention. In this case, these shooting threats may reasonably be assumed to be a call for help. Although these crass threats should not be justified, they should be recognized as an expression of mental struggle.

To be perfectly clear, do not mistake my empathy for the members of the incel community — they are still living, breathing human beings, after all — for sympathy for their cause.

The incel community has a propensity toward spiteful, shallow, belligerent attitudes for society as a whole, particularly toward women. On account of that, it is no surprise that these threats were centered around a movie about social ostracization and deteriorating mental health.

Even though the incel community is obviously wrong to harass others with the threat of violence, these attitudes are a result of the fact that poor mental health is stigmatized in this nation (and in the world in general, for that matter). For instance, if you go to a doctor and a dentist every year, you are attending to your health, but if you go to a therapist, there’s something wrong with you; mental health care is stigmatized (don’t

be afraid to visit the Alexander Health Center if you need someone to talk to).

This is why people resort to toxic and belligerent methods of expressing their sadness, because they can’t do it directly for fear of social ostracization or chastisement.

In summation — and I think Joaquin Phoenix would agree with me here — mental health is nothing to laugh at.

Joaquin Phoenix plays the failed comedian who becomes the Joker.

courtesy Warner Bros.

Variety

7 October 2019

The Collegian: 11

Students go behind the scenes for October’s First Friday Arts management professor, Samuel Krall, leads students on tour of Tulsa Arts District businesses preparing for the Art Crawl.

Tori Gellman Student Writer Arts Management professor, Samuel Krall, elevated an already phenomenal monthly event in Tulsa, the First Friday Art Crawl, by providing students with the opportunity to take a behind the scenes tour of businesses and galleries throughout downtown.

Beginning at 36 Degrees North, students were introduced to Tulsa’s basecamp for entrepreneurship. Free coffee and unlimited printing, not to mention phone room and even a shower and towel service, are just a few of the amenities offered in this building.

Rich in history, having been the Ford shipping site for Model T’s, the building brings the city of Tulsa’s consistent ideas of innovation to a whole new level. Only open three and a half years, 36 Degrees North already serves over 450 small businesses spanning 47 different industries. The basecamp promotes collaboration by providing video conference spaces, dedicated desks for extended projects and a wall of photographs identifying members.

Once we departed 36 Degrees North, Professor Krall began to explain a bit about the history of the city and the development of the arts district. About 10 years ago, much of what is now in downtown Tulsa wasn’t.

It was mainly abandoned warehouses and a

on. Eight to 10 countries are represented in the company, promoting diversity amongst the Tulsa community.

Black continued by promoting outreach programming, educational classes and letting us know about future performances at the Tulsa Ballet. “It’s not all tutus and pointe shoes,” Miller explained. There is so much more to the arts than the actual art itself, a message that would be reiterated across the visited venues in the evening. Given that the majority of the students in the touring group were arts management majors and minors, we learned a bit about the differences and benefits of working with performers rather than still works of art.

Next up was 108 Contemporary, where we spoke to the community engagement coordinator. She explained that the gallery is a nonprofit that fulfills its mission through outreach and art education in schools. What makes 108 unique is that it is a fine craft gallery, which means that they are particularly focused on craft processes and methodology. It is the only gallery of it’s kind in Oklahoma. She spoke to us about the financial facets of the art industry and what kind of business careers are available to people who wish to promote and pursue artistic field.

Following 108 was ahha Tulsa. The gallery has been in existence since 1961, but has been what it is today only since 2012. ahha launched its first arts education program in 1965. The building has four stories, the first floor being a mostly conventional gallery space, the second being the experience space, the third having creative rooms and craft areas and the fourth currently hosting preparations for an installation set to go up in May 2020.

as a two-parter headline. Magic City is uniquely set up as a nonprofit organization, which is highly uncommon for independent bookstores. Heavily involved in community outreach, Magic City Books has been extremely influential in uniting the people of Tulsa by hosting events in many different locations, namely B’Nai Emunah Synagogue, All Souls Unitarian Church and even TU.

This experience was not only extremely informative, but also incredibly fun. Getting to see what goes on before First Friday can happen so beautifully was truly eye opening.

I hope that the arts management department continues to make this opportunity available to University of Tulsa students in the future.

“There is so much more to the arts than the actual art itself ...” few music venues. However, when the baseball stadium and the BOK center were built, the vision for the arts district was born. The hope was that people would walk between these two major attractions and enjoy the developing art institutions being erected in between.

We proceeded to loop around the block, learning about the Hanson recording studio, Spinster Records and hidden alleway murals funded by the Tulsa Artist Coalition.

Making our way to Guthrie Green, we were greeted by Amy Miller and Scott Black, two representatives from the Tulsa Ballet. They spoke to the group about how they overcome the obstacles of utilizing the stage at Guthrie Green to put on performances. They have to bring their own special spring dance floor to lay over the concrete, so that the dancers have a suitable surface to perform

The gallery is currently showcasing fiberworks of Oklahoma, displaying several artists works in a variety of materials. Arguably the most fun portion of the evening was the brief eight minutes the group was allowed to spend in the experience. Bright colors, flashing lights and videos that start when you step in a specific spot on the floor were just the start of this immersive area.

A bowling ball can be rolled across two pianos, playing a stream of notes back and forth. A giant sculpture made entirely of patrons’ chewing gum can be admired from a sanitary distance. It was truly an incredible space to walk around and interact with.

The last stop on the tour was Magic City Books, a location in Tulsa to which I am no stranger. Magic City Books is celebrating its two year anniversary in just a few weeks, and is inviting Busy Phillips and Ben Folds

Ahha housed an exhibit called “The Experience” on the second floor.

photo by Piper Prolago

“Friends” celebrates 25th anniversary of 1994 premiere Fans of the sitcom continue to watch “Friends” over the years, speaking to the power of its relatability.

Lizzy Young Student Writer Last weekend, I went to a wedding. During the vows the bride said, “you’re my best friend, you’re my lobster.” The audience awwed and few tears were shed as the reference sank in.

Where does it come from? This phrase was first uttered in the last season of “Friends” by Phoebe when talking about Rachel and Ross. She claims that lobsters find a mate and then stick with them for the rest of their life. So, when Rachel gets off the plane to Paris to find Ross waiting

for her, they embrace and Phoebe giggles, “He’s her lobster.”

Using this reference at a wedding in 2019 shows the enduring power of the popular television sitcom, “Friends,” which is celebrating the 25th anniversary of the premiere. It is still so popular that there was a three-night showing of some of the most popular “Friends” episodes for the silver anniversary of the show, which generated over $2.9 million.

Netflix paid $80 million to keep the popular show on their streaming platform for one more year before Warner Brothers pulls it to put it on their own streaming service because so many fans stream it.

Why is it that “Friends” still has ardent supporters who are willing to spend money on the show 25 years later? What is it about the show that is so enduring?

“Friends” follows the story of six friends living in New York City.

“Friends” exploded onto the scene in 1994 and has been a major pop culture phenomenon ever since. It popularized the “Rachel” haircut as well as terms such as the “friend zone” and the famous line, “we were on a break.”

The basic premise of the show is about the adventures of six friends who live in New York City above a coffee shop. Their romantic partners and jobs come and go, but the main drama and camaraderie focuses around the relationships between these six people.

It is still so popular because it is so relatable. The different characters each have something that people can connect with.

They also tackle hard challenges in a way that people identify with. They overcome struggles like the questions of, “What am I supposed to do for the rest of my life? Does

divorce define me? Why is turning thirty so difficult?”

Also, the six friends are their own kind of family, which rings true in today’s foundfamily culture. They are always there for each other, which is something everybody wants and can relate to.

Not to say the show doesn’t have its issues. In this decade, it has been criticized for fat shaming Monica, including gay slurs, portraying a New York City filled with only white people and the toxic nature of Ross and Rachel’s relationship. It seems people are willing to forgive the faults for the show’s good qualities, which is the relatability of the main characters.

As “Friends” ends its silver anniversary and is pulled off of Netflix in favor of yet another streaming service, it still has devoted fans who will always be there for it.

courtesy Warner Bros. Television

The Collegian: 12

Variety

7 October 2019

Celebrity Attractions presents “Les Miserables” at PAC The traveling Broadway production of “Les Miserables” demonstrates the virtuousity of performers and set designers.

Ethan Veenker Editor-in-Chief The Microphones — “The Glow Pt. 2” I felt some sort of buzzing in my left foot while trying to sleep the other night. It was the sort of thing one could imagine traveling through the springs of their mattress. At first I thought it was my girlfriend’s phone — I conjured up disastrous thoughts of some tragedy or sudden illness in her family, a reason to be calling past 2 a.m. — but when I turned to look I saw it sitting idly on the nightstand, and the buzzing in my foot went on. I moved my right foot over to test that area of the mattress, but I still only felt it in the left one: this weird, artificial vibration. I moved my leg around, cupped my foot in my hand — nothing.

It was fully centralized to the left foot. I could feel it nowhere else in my body, so the buzzing had come about from something internal.

Speaking as someone in whom a set of doctors once discovered a rather serious kidney issue just in time and almost completely by chance, I take hints of internal disharmony quite seriously. The fact that our conscience and our physiology both stem from the same place but have almost nothing to do with one another frightens me beyond measure. I tried to rationalize the foot-buzzing to some bodily process, but it didn’t seem to line up with my breathing, and it wasn’t in-tempo with my heartbeat. My mind drifted toward thoughts of nerve issues and brain tumors and imminent death, and eventually I fell asleep. At the time of writing, the buzzing hasn’t returned.

Excuse the fear of my own mortality; I’ve only just turned 21. The greatest motivator to go on lies in the thought that I haven’t really lived my life just yet.

Phil Elverum, indie-famous frontman of The Microphones — and, recently, of Mount Eerie — might look down on me here. (This is the part where the writer attempts to bridge from the anecdotal into the topic at hand, giving the impression that the piece is actually about the music and not the writer themself.) He wasn’t so far from my age when he was writing albums in which he was the central figure, and in which he actually dies and ascends to some other plane wherein he converses with the universe. One imagines that death was all he had on his mind.

Calling him the “frontman” of The Microphones is a little erroneous — Elverum was The Microphones. The final album recorded under the Microphones moniker was “Mount Eerie,” and since then Elverum has performed under the name Mount Eerie — again, essentially a solo project. But whether it’s in the music of The Microphones or Mount Eerie, death floats all around Elverum’s music.

I’m a little late to this one, but The Microphones’s “The Glow Pt. 2” turned 18 last month on Sept. 25. “The Glow Pt. 2” has, over the years, attracted enough of an audience to become indie royalty, coming up in the same conversations as “In the Aeroplane Over the Sea” and “Merriweather Post Pavilion” with the people you try to avoid — in the online catalog of Elverum’s music label, the record’s description comes with a simple declarative: “It is well known.”

In short, it’s an hour-long, lo-fi, experimental masterpiece. It’s an album that employed certain recording practices in an attempt to actually make the sound a lower quality. It’s an album in which Elverum tracks over the same guitar riff (in which he misses plenty of notes here and there) 10 times, it sounds like, at multiple points in the record. It’s an album in which the vocals often take a backseat to the fuzzy instrumentals, leaving the average listener stranded without knowing the story unless they’re sitting with a lyric sheet in front of them.

The record is like a science fair project stuck together with duct tape and glitter glue, but, still, I wouldn’t have it any other way, and neither would the countless devotees it’s garnered over the years.

Elverum’s singing voice is hilariously untrained; the record often drifts into areas where the listener might wonder if Elverum just didn’t try (there are two tracks simply titled “Instrumental,” and another two instrumental tracks simply titled “(something)”); it goes from soft acoustics to ear-blasting fuzz on the turn of a dime, without warning, twice. It’s an album that doesn’t even attempt to build a bridge to the listener — it is fully and completely a creation of Elverum, and it’s something to which the listener must pull themselves.

But, yes, it’s about death. The presiding fan theory is that the record begins with a character (referred to in the lyrics occasionally as “Phil”) going through a breakup, after which point they travel into the woods before getting mauled by a bear and being left for dead. The final track, “My Warm Blood,” which ends with the sound of a heartbeat, is thought to be the song in which the character bleeds out and dies. (The record’s 2003 follow-up, “Mount Eerie,” begins with the same noises and heartbeat that ends “The Glow Pt. 2,” leading fans to speculate that the two records are connected — the character in “Mount Eerie” slowly realizes they’re dead, a ghost, and eventually crosses over, meeting the universe itself.)

It seems so deceptively simple, but scanning the lyrics really does help the theory hold up. (The bear attack occurs in “Samurai Sword,” the penultimate track, and one of the two fuzz-heavy, ear-blasting tunes on the record.) This album is about dying, no matter how you slice it. In many ways, it’s about wanting to die. Imagining the character bleeding out at the end of “My Warm Blood” is genuinely unnerving for me, and at times I wish I’d never read the fan theories, and that I could just enjoy the music instead. But now the experience is so much fuller — the music and story complement each other so well that it’s nearly impossible to imagine them apart once one has made the connection.

I know I’ve spent very little time discussing the music of the record itself, but it can be quite elusive. The album, like a lot of great albums, is frontloaded, and the first three tracks are the most cohesive ones on the record. Musically, compositionally, things begin to fall apart until right at the end. But that watery middle, in which sounds and song sketches appear and disappear at random, is still strikingly beautiful to the correctly-tuned ear. For your own sake, just call it lo-fi indie folk. That fits most of the time.

But this is a record in which singling out specific songs to discuss can often be a pointless venture, as it is undoubtedly a record that was meant to be listened to as such: a record.

Beginning to end, the whole hour. Even if the story theories are wrong, the music is just too connected to imagine it working otherwise. To put this record on shuffle would be to kill it.

And there’s enough death in here already.

I won’t say it’s not for the faint of heart, because it’s generally a calm listen. The fuzzier tracks can be jarring at first, but there’s much more abrasive music out there. There is some level of mental fortitude one should have before listening to the record, though. It can be hard listening to a guy wallow and sing about death for an hour, and I know that sounds like such a drag, but believe me when I say it’s so good. Elverum isn’t the first white guy to moan about dying, and he certainly won’t be the last, but something about the way he did it worked. It’s earnest, experimental and not at all full of itself. This record is a genuine creation from the heart — it’s a pleasure to hear. It’s something to maybe even calm you down when your foot is buzzing.

Emma Palmer Graphics Editor I first saw “Les Miserables” in the early spring of 2009, when Union High-School put on a production of it. I was nine years old, the perfect age to watch “Les Mis” for the first time. I enjoyed myself immensely, but I might have left the theater with a bit of a martyr complex, due to the fact that by the end of the show, nearly every character has died. When Celebrity Attractions brought the travelling Broadway production of “Les Miserables” to Tulsa, I made a point to go.

Now that I’ve seen “Les Miserables” in what some might call my adulthood, I can verify that it holds a timeless quality. The music, the characters and the plot all felt just as fresh and exciting as they did when I was nine. Of course, Victor Hugo’s story has held up for some 150 years. The traveling Broadway cast plays the musical straight, no frills or flourishes; but I mean, why mess with perfection?

It baffles me everytime I see a Celebrity Attractions show at the Tulsa Performing Arts Center: the caliber of professionalism and talent that we host in Tulsa for a brief week is well worth at least the cost of one student rush ticket. Last year’s season impressed with the likes of “Waitress,” “Fiddler On the Roof” and, of course, “Hamilton.” They show no signs of slowing down, either, with the 2019/2020 season looking equally as impressive.

While the plot and characters of “Les Mis” are played straight, the play doesn’t unfold without creativity or artistry. The stage itself caused me to gasp. On each side of the wings were buildings that were almost to scale, making it look as though there was the entirety of a booming town on the stage.

Celebrity Attractions brings traveling Broadway shows around the country.

courtesy Celebrity Attractions

Events next week in Tulsa Monday, Oct. 7

Thursday, Oct. 10

Animal Collective performs at Mack Hagood, author of “Hush: MeCain’s Ballroom. Doors open at dia and Sonic Self-Control” speaks 6:30, tickets start at $30. about his book. Talk starts at 7 p.m. in Tyrell Hall.

Tuesday, Oct. 8

Dr. Maria Maurer speaks about “Monstrous Perspective: Movement, Sound and the Experience of Renaissance Space” drawn from her recent book analyzing 16th century people and spaces. Talk starts at 5 p.m. in Tyrell Hall.

TU School of Music presents “B Complex: Bach, Beethoven and Brahms” with performances by professors Stuart Deaver (piano) and Maureen O’Boyle (violin). Performance starts at 7:30 in LPC.

Wednesday, Oct. 9

Circle Cinema screens horror movie “Candyman” for Graveyard Shift series. Film starts at 10 p.m., tickets are $10. “Candyman” will play at the same time and price on Saturday Oct. 12 as well.

Spoken word artist Shane Koyczan performs at LPC. Use the discount code “STUDENT” for a 30% discount for online tickets. Talk starts at 7 p.m., student ticekts are $15 after discount online.

courtesy K Records

The cast is smaller than you would think, and the ensemble spends a majority of their time on the stage. In a cast interview on his Instagram, one member mentioned that during the length of the show, he played 13 different roles. All of the principles led with vibrance, but the ensemble shines.

People don’t talk enough about the importance of lighting in a show, but it really can elevate or decrease a stage production’s quality. In “Les Mis” the lighting does a lot of heavy lifting to make the show look like a painting. The lighting took the actors and turned them into figures emulating Delacroix and Millet, seeping in and covering them. The light had a grainy quality to it, and the actors, dressed in neutrals, looked as though they were painted in grisaille.

An old director of mine used to tell his casts before we went on stage one of the rules of theater. He would say, “Now, when you go out on that stage, the audience wants to see you fail.” It’s the reason people still flock to see shows in the time of Netflix, and it’s harsh but true. And, sometimes, the production fails by no fault of the actors.

Such was the case when I went to see “Les Mis.” Towards the end of Act I, a set piece malfunctioned and they had to pause the show after a solo by Eponine. They didn’t even turn up the house lights, the issue was fixed so quickly.

There really is nothing better than a good story well told, and “Les Miserables” does just that. It’s complex and gnarled, and, when handled with an empathetic touch, it speaks to more than the sum of its parts.

I suppose this is all to say, I see myself somehow in the characters of “Les Miserables,” in their miserable-ness, in their humanity, in the redemption and despair. The story endures because it does the thing that made me an English major: It shows something about yourself in the characters, something that’s less about 18th century France and a failed June Rebellion and more about those base emotions and experiences we still face today.

Tulsa American Film Festival starts.

Films and events will take place at Circle Cinema, Kendall Whittier and the Woody Gutherie Center. Events will take place through Sunday, Oct. 13. Check the Festival’s website for ticket information.

Friday, Oct. 11

Saturday, Oct. 12

Circle Cinema screens “Battleship Potemkin” as part of the Saturday Silents series. Film starts at 11 a.m., adult tickets are $5.

The State-Run Media

7 October 2019

The Collegian: 13

Pizza Hut to replace all campus dining options Due to health concerns and a lettuce foot fungus incident, TU closes almost all its resturants.

Sarah Le Pizza slut

graphic by Sarah Le

The Chinatown Pizza Hut will cater to lovers of fish ‘n’ cheese combos.

New undeniable proof that ghosts exist: my ex-wife Local woman becomes a ghost to “ghost” her wife.

Michaela Bueche Ghost

Hannah Robbins Was ghosted

Last Monday, history was made. Scientists have finally proved that ghosts exist. We were able to validate their findings by interviewing the ghost in question and her wife.

This is their story.

Picture it, Sicily, 1925.

Last week, a photo went viral depicting a Baja Jacks employee at TU standing barefoot in a bin of shredded lettuce while simultaneously preparing tacos. Yuck: the last thing you’d want in your Baja Jacks tacos is somebody’s foot fungus.

The image caused concern amongst not only Baja Jacks regulars, but all diners on TU campus. Everyone began to ask themselves, “How do I know that someone didn’t do something nasty with their toes to the food I just ordered?”

These concerns came to a head at the TU Health and Wellness Fair that took place this Monday. No food was to be served that day in the Union or anywhere else on campus.

Those outraged by the Baja Jacks foot lettuce incident demanded immediate action but were divided on what was to be done. After much bickering, they eventually decided that the best course of action was to create a poll.

For some reason, the ConnectTU app hasn’t died yet (please, just die already), and someone had the genius idea to post the poll onto the app. Voters would need to download the ConnectTU app in order to cast their vote.

The poll featured four options to address the incident: 1. Fire the Baja Jacks employee.

2. Schedule a mandatory health and safety review for all food service workers on campus.

3. Throw the bin of shredded lettuce away and move on with life.

4. Other (please explain).

When the poll closed, there was only one vote cast. The sole voter, “Mike Pence,” voted “other” and proposed the idea of “literally replac[ing] everything with Pizza Hut lmaooo xD.” The people have spoken.

The proposal was signed into effect by admins as soon as the poll ended: all dining options on campus are to be replaced

by Pizza Hut. However, Pizza Hut will alter and expand its menu to pay respect to the angry ghosts of the dining options it will replace. For example, the Star Ginger and Sushi Blu will merge together to form “Chinatown Pizza Hut” and will serve Asian pizzas from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.; coffee pizzas will be served from 7 a.m. to 2 p.m. in memory of Einstein Bros. Bagels. At the Caf, there will be pizza all day, baby.

A wide selection of salad pizzas, pasta pizzas, chicken sandwich pizzas and more will meet everyone’s tastes and needs. All of the “Simply to Go” items will be replaced by Bagel Bites and Pizza Rolls. The Hut will be the only dining facility not to transform into a Pizza Hut, but rather a miniature Pizza Hut corporate headquarters.

The Pizza Hut takeover is not only eradicating the risk of eating foot fungus-laced tacos, but also improving mental and physical health on campus. A coordinator of the TU Health and Wellness Fair commented, “You won’t need to waste time deciding what to eat for lunch because it’s already been decided for you, therefore improving your productivity and mental health. Plus, when you bake pizzas, it like, kills germs and stuff, so the pizzas are good for your physical health. I know my science.”

Although the overall enrollment of international students at TU is dropping, the enrollment of students from Italy is expected to plummet drastically due to these changes. Pizza Hut’s next goal will be to take over the TU Mail Services office and bake everyone’s mail and packages into pizzas before delivering them. Currently, the purpose of this is not known but should be feared.

Karen please take me back

It was two weeks ago in Picher, Oklahoma.

Quit being so dramatic!

Fine. Picture it: Picher, Oklahoma, two weeks ago. It was 5:37 p.m. on a Tuesday. I was sitting in the living room reading the evening paper, and she was in the kitchen making dinner when I decided to leave her for my mistress.

Which one? Tell me it wasn’t that Tulsa chick?

I could not very well divorce her because of all the expenses. There’s the divorce lawyer, the custody lawyer, the estate lawyer, the prenup — I could go on.

For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to sign away three quarters of my wealth.

Well, I mean, I thought it was a good idea.

The next best solution was to die and leave everything to The Salvation Army in my will.

Which obviously I didn’t agree to! Also, I’m the executor of your will, so how well did you think that was actually going to work? But, yeah!

Next thing I know someone has decided it’s time to keel over. I didn’t know what to do.

I thought our marriage was going so well.

Did something happen?

That’s bullshit! You knew full well about Debby, Kelly and Peggy.

All that was left for me was a prayer and maybe a Ouija board to figure out how we felt. So I decided to do a seance … with no luck.

Of course you had no luck! I was off in Las Vegas haunting my uncle to make up for all the money you stole from me. Unfortunately, I lost two grand and my arm.

Don’t ask. It’s unrelated to the gambling.

Get to the point!

Oh you thought there was a point? You would, wouldn’t you? Well back to my more important story, I left her for Debby, but Debby left me for Peggy, so now I’m sad.

So anyways now my wife is dead and I thought we were going to have a great time and now I just keep hearing all about these mistresses.

It is kinda nice that I get to talk to her after she ghosted me, so I’m just gonna draw this conversation out as long as possible.

Wow I see how it is! There is a reason that I left you, and spending more time with you was not part of the plan.

These two continued to argue for three more hours, so we are going to end the interview here. If for some odd reason you want to read the rest of the transcript, it can be found at www.ghostwifey.com.

graphic by Naomi Dunn Karen provided this family portrait featuring her then-boyfriend Travis and the late Amy.

Woman dumps boyfriend after he kills her house plants.

Michaela Bueche Has never been in a relationship A man named Travis of Monterey, California came to our offices this morning with a wild tale. He told us that his girlfriend left him because he “murdered” her house plants. He seemed adamant that we know the entire story, so we let the tape recorder run for the whole sordid story. Here’s a taste of his ramblings: “I don’t know why she has so many!

They’re harder to take care of than babies with having to water them like weekly and remembering to leave them in the window all the time.

“One time, I was sitting in my normal spot at the board game cafe, trolling for chicks (baby chickens, not girls. #NotAllMen) when I mentioned to a girl that my ex had dumped me for killing her darling Petunia. Pretty sure she thought I was talking about a person or a dog. I told the next girl the same thing, but remembered to mention that I was talking about a succulent. She was even more terrified than the first girl.”

“I don’t see why they have to stay in the house and take up so much room! There are ten people living here and one room contains solely plants. They’re plants! Why can’t they go back outside where they belong?”

“I just want Karen to know that I am a changed man and I will do anything to get her back. I will even go to those stupid Recovering Plant Murderers meetings.”

We were able to track down the exgirlfriend, Karen, at the local plastic straw manufacturing plant leading a protest and screaming “Save the turtles!”

Karen had this to say about the situation: “He murdered my children! Amy was recovering from a rough winter when I let Jason babysit for a week. I was away on business and thought everything would be fine.

Nothing was fine! He over watered them all, put Tina outside, and left Amy in the bathroom sink!”

We played Karen the recording of Travis’ plea for reunion and she responded with: “I will never take him back. I have a new boyfriend who appreciates the struggle of taking care of so many children. He loves them all like they were his own.”

I personally believe this story unnecessary and overly dramatic, but my boss told me to report on it. So here it is. Never mess with a woman’s houseplants.

Since you have read this far, please consider voting Michaela Bueche for California Governor. I will put an end to all houseplants, men named Travis and relationships.

UPDATE: We have since learned that Travis stole one of Karen’s plants for revenge.

He has discovered a new chemical formula to increase plant growth and injected it into said plant. He now “plans to take over the world with his giant ass plant”.

But, like, what’s an ass plant?

The State-Run Media

7 October 2019

the

State-Run media Way too good for you.

TU Copy sealed away for our safety What lies do that drywall and plaster cover up?

Brennen Gray Fallout boi We have all seen that little space that used to be TU Copy; the wall just one flight of stairs down from the café in McFarlin Library. One would expect that thing to be caged up, the window blocked off like a closed boutique in a mall. Or perhaps the little window could have just left alone with a sign that read, “Sorry, closed indefinitely.”

Instead, the school did something pretty interesting. TU put drywall over it the window to seal it away permanently, as if to gaslight students into thinking there was never anything there. But here’s the kicker: the slab of drywall blends in perfectly with the wall around it in every way … except it’s indented by a few inches. It genuinely looks like there should be something there, and those of us who were here last year know that it looks like that because there used to be a window there.

So why? Why would TU put such a permanent seal over that countertop, but only make half an effort to make it completely unnoticeable?

The answer is simple: thermonuclear disaster conspiracy.

The added wall is lined with lead and boron, the semi-covered look is to warn students that the area has been sealed for a reason, and the casualness of quietly erecting a new wall over TU Copy keeps students from being alarmed. It’s the cover up of the century.

The story begins back about half a year ago, when Petroleum Abstracts commenced

graphic by Naomi Dunn

The radioactive exclusion zone of TU Copy shortly before the big hush up.

researching a forbidden topic in the energy industry: clean energy.

TU Copy employees installed a nuclear reactor deep in their office. If anyone was wondering why everyone claimed that they kept finishing in the red every year, that would explain a lot.

And so the copiers, much like the alchemists of old, pursued dangerous and forbidden knowledge in secret. This was their downfall.

The taboo of this forbidden lore threatened the fabric of Tulsa’s economy. If nuclear energy took over, what would we do with the Golden Driller? What would we call the baseball team?

That’s when it happened. C security reports, named [redacted], seemed to reference some level of sabotage before they were burned. One big bang later, and next thing you know oil is the leading source of energy in Tulsa.

The Physical Plant did an excellent job of putting the affected parts of McFarlin back together in time for nobody to notice the damage in the morning. What they did not count on was the zombies.

The three students pulling all-nighters in the library that night were so heavily irradiated they turned in mere minutes. Unable to be stopped in time, the trio took to campus to spread the plague. They were stopped

after nabbing about a dozen victims, all of which are now being contained within the corpse of TU Copy, behind that unassuming wall.

A new branch of campus moved in after Petroleum Abstracts was forced to leave: CSAS, or the Center for Stopping Armageddon-level sicknesses. It’s apparently been completely ineffective, but there’s always hope for the future.

No word yet on whether anyone has been able to actually enter that area and leave unscathed.

Why is no one asking me about my screenplay?

I’m far too talented to be treated like this.

Sara Serrano Head Propagandist This is absolutely ridiculous.

I’ve been sitting in this coffee shop for over an hour now, hunched over my Macbook Air, sipping this lavender infused cold brew, and not one person here has had the common decency to ask me about my screenplay.

I chose this absolute hole-in-the-wall specifically for its hipster, more-artsy-thanthou atmosphere, yet everyone here seems content to lounge and smoke and scroll

and explain, “Oh yes I am. It’s the semi-autobiographical tale of a young woman and world that’s blind to her prodigal talents.”

He’d make me a drink (on the house, of course) and sit down with me to discuss this incredibly complex and tragic character. The topic would eventually shift to me and what an intelligent, cute girl like me is doing in this rundown town. I’d blush and explain that I’m just here until I can get the attention of a big Hollywood studio and finally make a name for myself. He’d smile shyly and wonder aloud if he could maybe take me out to dinner before I’m all rich and famous. And then I’d give him a fake number ‘cause I’m obviously too good for a fucking barista.

But I digress.

“...‘cause I’m obviously too good for a fucking barista.” away while I just sit here, a positive well of creative genius fated to remain untapped because Wren needs to refill her Juul.

Do I like drinking something that tastes vaguely of soap and my ex-girlfriend⁠⁠ — but mostly like hungover mornings ⁠— from a handspun mug courtesy of the Purple Glaze next door? No, not particularly. Do I think I look cool taking long drafts of it between composing brilliant pieces of dialogue? Perhaps, but that’s not why I’m here.

One day I’ll move to LA and show the world what it’s been missing, but right now it feels like it’s point blank refusing to accept the gifts I’m handing it.

How hard would it be for some guy, preferably a handsome bearded barista in a short-sleeved button down, to walk by me and happen to glance at the glory I’m spilling out onto my screen and say, “Wow, are you writing a script? What’s it about?” And I’d sigh and give him a warm, patient smile because I’ve been here so many times before

Right now, all of this unrecognized talent is going to waste drinking from a cup growing steadily more lukewarm. The injustice of it all!

This Spotify playlist is drilling a lo-fi shaped hole into my head. And how am I supposed to concentrate on the plight of Sabine Poblano when no one will pay attention to me? You’d think this place would hang a giant disclaimer on the door reading, “This coffee shop is the exclusive hangout spot of every self-absorbed asshole in town.

Don’t expect a talent agent to happen upon your work here. Everyone here is doomed to mediocrity and lung disease.”

Is there something wrong with me? Is my turtleneck intimidating people? Is it my pixie cut too progressive for this place?

Yeah. Yeah, that has to be it.

Well, if this is how “The Grind” treats its clientele, I won’t be returning any time soon.

Maybe I’ll mingle amongst the masses next time and go to Starbucks.

What’s the point of writing this damn thing if no one’s gonna ask me about it?

photo by Emma Palmer