15 February 2015

Graphic by Elias Brinkman

the Collegian: 2

Variety

15 February 2016

Tulsa Mardi Gras Parade with Count Tutu

Above: Count Tutu plays at Elote to celebrate Mardi Gras in Tulsa. The set followed the Mardi Gras parade through the downtown Blue Dome District.

Left: Parade-goers dine and drink to celebrate Fat Tuesday after the Mardi Gras parade.

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Variety

15 February 2016

the Collegian: 3

RuPaul’s Drag Race Fantasy Face-off

Season 8 of RuPaul’s Drag Race is fast-approaching us and our bodies are ready. The queens for this season were announced last week, so student writers Tara Grigson and Gracie Weiderhaft chose their fantasy drag race teams. Here they tell you the various pros and cons for each queen and their predictions for this season of RPDR.

Tara’s Team:

Gracie’s Team:

Kim Chi is a Korean-American fashion

queen from Chicago. She was the first seaAcid Betty is a loudly and brightly colored “bitch” queen. She is from New York, which generally means a more experimental/club scene

vibe. She would probably fit right in at a rave. Experimental drag has been popular in the past. Sharon Needles, whose look was

“spooky,” won season 4. I am generally pretty pumped about experimental drag, but I do not like mean queens.

Acid Betty seems to be proud of her meanness,

son 8 queen announced, and many fans immediately compared her to her BFF, Trixie Mattel of season 7. Though Kim’s make-up in the promo is reminiscent of Trixie, she has a much more diverse range of looks, from monochro-

and consider it an attribute. In the past, shady

matic haute couture

Andrews have made it into the top 3

fry containers and

queens like PhiPhi O’Hara and Roxxxy

to McDonalds french

queens (seasons 4 and 5 respective-

live birds. Kim de-

ly)—so meanness does not necessar-

scribes herself as a “high fashion anime character,” which I love. Kim is one of the strongest

because Gracie did not want her, and I felt very indifferent about it. It was actually sort of

is funny, I don’t know how she will perform in acting challenges. Regardless, Kim Chi is

ily precede talent. I chose Acid Betty

like “I took Bob and Laila who are great, so I’ll also take Acid Betty to even the playing field.” But she might be great. She is like 1000 years old. Maybe she has improved with age, like a fine cheese.

queens on my team, and will definitely slay the fashion and sewing challenges. Though she definitely one to watch.

Thorgy (rhymes with orgy) Thor is another queen I’m very excited about. In fact, I’m

surprised Tara wasn’t more impressed with her. She said she’d rather have Robbie than Bob the Drag Queen is unquestionably my favorite. She is also

Thorgy, which was obviously a lapse in judgement. Thorgy has been auditioning for Drag

tal” side of New York drag is pretty clear. She is hilarious and

ion clown” from Brooklyn. Her look is heavy on the clown part. She’s also a high-energy lip

charming queens often seem to get some wiggle room from Ru

cent sure will come in handy on the show. Watching her interviews and performances, it’s

from New York, and in some of her past looks the “experimen-

Race since season 1, and I really think it’s her time to shine. She is a self-proclaimed “fash-

super charming, so she will certainly be a fan favorite. Funny/

syncer who makes a lot of her own costumes. She also plays the cello, which I am 100 per-

(because she is won over by humor) and being funny has been a

huge asset for queens in the past. Jinkx Monsoon and Bianca del

Rio, who won season 5 and 6 respectively, were both

hard not to fall in love with Thorgy. Her only known flaw is that she does not like emojis.

I chose Cynthia Lee Fontaine for my team because she seemed very fun and genuine

comedy queens. Bob is a queen of color, and has done

in her “Meet the Queen” video. I think we can expect bold and beautiful looks and plenty

face is actually my favorite (brb gagging). Usually

knew I made the right choice. Girl is a performer. But I do have some concerns about Cyn-

history by incorporating it into your drag act is actu-

girls and sent home earlier than they should have (e.g. season 5’s Lineysha Sparx or season

blackface in the past—black performers doing black-

of body-ody-ody from Cynthia. After watching some videos of her lipsync performances, I

blackface is bad but reclaiming that part of American

thia. In the past, some sickening Puerto Rican queens have been discounted by the other

ally amazing. I chose Bob because she is hilarious (“my name is my father’s name...yeah,

6’s April Carrion). Yara Sofia and Alexis Mateo of season 3 and All Stars were mocked

his name was ‘the drag queen’”). I fought for Bob to be on my team.

for their Puerto Rican accents and excluded from the “Heathers”, season 3’s “pretty girl” clique. I worry that Cynthia might receive the same kind of shade. But even more concern-

Laila McQueen is a trashy punk rock queen (I LIVE), which puts her comfortably as my

ing is the fact that she’s friends with Phi Phi O’Hara from season 4. As Tara correctly point-

Delano—who was top 3. She is from Gloucester, Massachusetts. She chose her name be-

hate her because of a series of pictures she posted to Instagram of her My Little Pony drag.

second favorite queen of this season. Her look is very similar to that of season 6’s Adore

ed out, Phi Phi sucks. I didn’t like Phi Phi when she was on the show, but now I straight up

cause she thought it sounded like a name a classy stripper might have and that is my kind of

As long as Cynthia doesn’t dress like a cartoon horse, I think she’s got a pretty good shot.

logic. Her aesthetic is like “don’t care/teenage rebel” and I love it. Because that is who I am

in my heart. In spite of her fla-ze-dah aesthetic, she is very calculating in her appearance,

Derrick Barry is likely the most polished queen of season 8. She is a successful Britney

and pulls off a look that is simultaneously polished and thrown together. I chose Laila pri-

Spears impersonator in Las Vegas. You may remember Derrick from her appearance on

the other choices. She also uses random hashtags on her instagram, just based on whatever

at all impressed (because he is an idiot). Don’t let Derrick’s amazing Britney impersonation

marily because she looks a little like Adore. I fought for Laila. I basically let Gracie make all

America’s Got Talent a few years back. She did well on the show, but Piers Morgan was not

is on her mind. #buttermilkpancakes

fool you; she is not a one-trick pony. I think we’ll all be surprised by the looks Derrick brings to the main stage this season. Many fans are expecting her to live up to the success of

Naomi Smalls is a 21-year-old queen from California. She is young—which typically

Chad Michaels, the world’s premier Cher impersonator, runner up of season 4, and winner

means unpolished—but not having seen her performance yet, I cannot say that with any

of All Stars (but she only won because she was dying and Ru just wanted her to be happy).

Smalls, which is another example of my kind of logic, and also Gracie did not really care.

My biggest question is whether or not Derrick will do Britney in Snatch Game, Drag

certainty. I chose her because her name is a combination of Naomi Campbell and Biggie

Those are some big stilettos to fill, but I think Derrick can do it.

I do not have a strong opinion about her, but I do like the way she went about choosing her

Race’s celebrity impersonation challenge. The first ever Snatch Game was won by Tati-

drag name.

anna’s hilarious Britney impression in season 2. Doing Britney in Snatch Game is a big

risk. Not only will Derrick have to top Tati’s killer performance, but she’ll also risk being Naysha Lopez is a pageant queen from Chicago. The

pigeon-holed as just a Britney impersonator. I predict that Derrick will slay Snatch Game,

Chicago is PhiPhi O’Hara, who was actually really un-

that doesn’t really mean anything because it’s just what the judges say when they can’t find

first queen I can think of who was a pageant queen from pleasant. Her main role was to be mean to Sharon Nee-

dles, the spooky queen (“go back to Party City where you belong!”). So I approach Naysha with some caution.

but often be critiqued by the judges for being “too polished” and not “real” enough. But anything wrong with a queen.

Chi Chi DeVayne isn’t as famous as some of the other queens, and fans are speculat-

She is very pretty (fishy), which has been

ing that she’ll go home early. But I can’t help but like her. After watching the “Meet the

long as they are fishy, can beat their

saying is “that one hundred thousand dollars.” Her favorite emoji is the dead one. She

silhouettes. If she can keep Ru and

down. So forget the h8rs, I want Chi Chi on my team.

beneficial for queens in the past—as

Queens” videos, Chi Chi is the one I’d most want to be friends with. Her favorite RuPaul

face for the gods and know their

named herself after a character in To Wong Foo. She sings and dances and paints the house

the judges gagging on her eleganza,

and succeed in comedic challenges, then she is in with a shot. I usually sort of hate pageant

Dax Exclamationpoint is another queen who

queens, because they TEND to be shady and just not super interesting to me. The primary

I was surprised Tara did not want. She’s famous

is unintentionally hilarious, I might fall in love with her, but I’m not holding my breath. I

also the drag mother of last season’s winner Violet

her.

pretty shady. In her “Meet the

notable exception is Alyssa Edwards who is fierce, and unintentionally hilarious. If Naysha

for her cosplay, so we know the girl can sew. She’s

think that she is in with a chance as a pageant queen, but I am not particularly excited about

Chachki, so I think we can expect her to be

Robbie Turner is from Seattle, which means she is probably pretty weird. Ben de la

Queens” video, Dax says, “I’d rather be anywhere

Creme (placed 5th in season 6) and Jinkx Monsoon (winner of season 5) both hail from

else than watching some

because she is a weirdo from Seattle. She got Jinkx’s endorsement, which seems like a good

Spears for an hour and a

from season 6, Laganja Estranja. Gracie says she doesn’t, but she’s wrong. Robbie is sup-

Derrick. But her “bitchiness”

she is also good at walking the runway. And also she’s weird. And does Liza impersonations

ing something new to mainstage.

Seattle, and are pretty weird (Jinkx more than Dela). I am hoping to fall in love with Robbie

bitch lipsync to Britney

sign. I wanted Robbie primarily because she looks a little bit like one of my favorite queens

half.” She’s def side-eyeing

posed to be very funny which—like I said for Bob—can be a tremendous asset, assuming

doesn’t bother me. She’s bring-

maybe? So I feel very good about her.

Cosplay is a genre of drag that has a huge fan base, but has never really been represented

all photos courtesy logo

on the show. We also tend to think of cosplay and nerdom as a white people thing, so I love

to see a queen of color slaying in some comic book inspired costumes. Dax likes to be edgy in her style and performances, and I live, but it’s not enough to just be “edgy.” If you’re doing a character that doesn’t fit into the standard idea of drag, you have to be very talented.

Variety

the Collegian: 4

15 February 2016

Documentary showcases role of Black Panthers and present need for the Black Lives Matter movement

The Black Panthers: Vanguard of the Revolution follows the origins of the Black Panther Party.

A panel following the screening discussed the importance of the Black Panthers and modern parallels with the Black Lives Matter movement.

Tara Grigson Student Writer This past Wednesday the YWCA of Tulsa hosted a screening of a new documentary called The Black Panthers: Vanguard of the Revolution. The documentary will appear on PBS this Tuesday (February 16), and is part of a series of documentaries produced by Independent Lens, an offshoot of PBS, which focuses on producing documentaries around social justice issues which have been misrepresented or have been represented with only one story.

The single story of the Black Panthers is the often-touted belief that they were effectively black terrorists, murderers and “thugs.”

This single story from the 1960s and 1970s is the same story that surrounds Black Lives Matter protesters and advocates today.

The documentary told the story of The Black Panther Party: why it came into existence, how it functioned and what it advocated. And shockingly, not one of these questions could be accurately answered with “terrorism.”

It explained the Black Panther Party through the many stories of folks who were active in it: people of different genders and ages and roles. It told the story from the mouths of the protestors and the police.

The Black Panthers arose out of a need for safety. It began in the middle of the civil rights era, because several black men were tired of the brutality experienced by people of color at the hands of (primarily) police officers. The only initial function of the Black Panthers was to make sure that if a cop was interacting with a person of color that some folks of color would be there, and would be no-

courtesy Independent Lens

The Black Panthers broke down gender roles by arming women.

ticeably armed. The laws in California at the time required open carry, rather than concealed, so they were not breaking any laws.

They did not act violently, they merely acted in such a way that the police knew they were being watched. They acted in a way that created a more equal balance of power and that created safety for a lot of people of color.

The movement grew quickly, and began to include women. It became a national movement, and then an international one. Some-

of Panther leader Fred Hampton and killed him and a Panther guard.

The police shot over 80 times, and only one shot came from a Panther gun. They raided without warning, they shot without warning, they killed without warning.

The screening was followed by a panel featuring DeVon Douglass of Oklahoma Policy Institute, Lawrence Ware, professor at OSU and minister, and TU’s own Isaac Sanders.

The primary focus of the panel was certainly in drawing com-

to oppression—by linking, we become dangerous.” Douglass, an economic policy analyst, argued for an economic and social system based on working together because change can come only “when the people who profit from those powers and structures see the oppressed people working together.”

Both the Black Panthers and Black Lives Matter have in common, at their cores, asserting people of color’s right to exist as they are in this society—and to expect

“Both the Black Panthers and Black Lives Matter ... assert people of color’s right to exist as they are in this society.” where in the middle of all this, the Panthers began to take stances on other social justice issues. They advocated a form of democratic socialism, feeling that people of color could never be equal in a system built on the backs of black slaves. They turned gender roles upside down by arming women and asking men to cook. They fed breakfast to poor children every morning before school.

They were a force for good, and they experienced imprisonment and murder of their leaders. In 1969, police raided the apartment

parisons to today’s racial climate.

Lawrence Ware spoke about how he believes that one of the main comparisons is that both movements (Black Panther and Black Lives Matter) are focused on selflove, “When you make a decision to validate yourself…that is a thing that is dangerous, and that can get you killed.”

Ware and Douglass both argued for groups of oppressed people banding together in order to create a bigger group with more political and social sway. Ware stated, “If we shift [the] focus from race

to be able to do that safely. In both cases, people fight against them because, as Douglass said, “They see we are fighting back.” By fighting back, oppressed groups undermine the stability of the systems that keep them oppressed— white supremacy, patriarchy and capitalism.

Unfortunately, in both cases, the consequences for fighting back have been increased vigilance on the part of the folks who benefit from these systems, which, in the interim, creates decreased safety.

Douglass was clear on this point,

emphasizing that, “It’s going to get worse before it gets better.”

Isaac Sanders summarized his involvement in social movements very succinctly, stating, “I don’t want to sit here and then look back on history and be like ‘I saw this happening, I just didn’t do anything.’” With this, Sanders taps into the dangers of indifference and the power of working together as a collective to create social change. Collective work requires many people and by definition cannot happen alone. Indifference is the enemy of progress and change.

Each of the panelists made a statement about their love for their own blackness, and Sanders encapsulated it all by saying, “I want the identity of being black and of being proud.”

The goal of the Black Panthers and the goal of Black Lives Matter are inherently about being able to be black and proud. The documentary is eye-opening and truly does the job of creating more stories. The Black Panthers were not a terrorist organization, they were a collective of people mobilizing to assert their right to exist as they were, and as they are. Black Lives Matter activists are the same thing.

Children of the Civil Rights demonstrates Oklahoman youth involvement

A new documentary by an Ardmore, Oklahoma native showcases the role a group of students played in the civil rights movement by leading sit-ins across Oklahoma City.

Taylor Chukwu Student Writer

Four Black protesters and former civil rights activists sat before a mostly White crowd as a living, breathing piece of Oklahoma history after the viewing of the documentary Children of the Civil Rights. The panel discussed a handful of issues ranging from the current Black Lives Matter movement to inspiring a new generation of activists.

They reflected on their experiences from over fifty years ago, as young children who sat for hours at lunch counters in downtown Oklahoma City during the early 1950s and non-violently demanded service. Their encounters as young activists were the focus of the newly released documentary film Children of the Civil Rights.

The film was directed and produced by Ardmore, Oklahoma native Julia Clifford. Clifford’s documentary is a fascinating look at Oklahoma’s place in the Civil Rights Movement. Though documentaries on the peaceful civil disobedience of this era are abundant, the director is able to offer new insight into this often glossed-over period of Oklahoma history. Clifford’s personal roots in Oklahoma make the film unique and fresh.

The experiences of this group of young Oklahoma City children is one seldom mentioned when discussing the Civil Rights Movement. Their protests began in the late 1950s and were guided by their NAACP youth counselor and school teacher Clara Luper, who was an essential part of their sitins.

With Luper’s help, the children, some only seven years old at the time, organized and executed their protests at restaurants in downtown Oklahoma City that refused to serve Black patrons. Their incredible bravery and determination as young activists contributed to some of the first protests during the Civil Rights era in the United States.

Clifford’s team talked to many of the activists who participated in the sit-ins, giving the film a real depth and relativeness. Archived personal interviews with the nowdeceased Luper were included and added a much-needed tenderness to the film, especially given the bleak and disheartening stories of this era. Testimonials and interviews from parents, historians, journalists, White protestors, faith leaders and even an interview from current US Representative and activist John Lewis are all included in the film. The ranges in voices and perspectives are a noteworthy, impressive feat for the filmmaker.

The unrefined sound and picture of Children of the Civil Rights is obvious and detrimental to the film’s production value. Yet despite its unpolished finish, the film still packs a profoundly big punch while spotlighting a forgotten piece of Oklahoma history.

courtesy The Richard Avedon Foundation

courtesy Oklahoma Publishing Company

Above: Student protestors stand on a sidewalk. Below: Students stage a sit-in at the Skirvin Hotel in downtown OKC.

Variety

15 February 2016

the Collegian: 5

Phi Mu Alpha hosts philanthropy concert

photo by Adam Lux

Phi Mu Alpha’s philanthropy week culminated in a concert. Half of the money they collected goes to the Zach Sobiech Osteosarcoma Fund and the other half goes to their brother Robbie Mudroch, who graduated from TU in December and is currently undergoing treatment for Osteosarcoma.

Drop the Mic exhibits student talent

“twenty-one plus” Custom cocktail creations and accompanying critiques presented by TU’s own hobbyist mixologist.

Sara Douglas Student Writer Ginger Fringe 10 oz. ginger beer 3 oz. vodka 2 oz. cranberry juice 2 dashes aromatic bitters 2 fresh fennel fronds 2 slices crystallized ginger

Savanna Deeese hosted Drop the Mic along with fellow RA Denisha Garner.

Drop the Mic was an open mic night designed to allow TU students a space to show off their work.

Hannah Kloppenburg Student Writer

The lights in ACAC’s Choteau room were dimmed, and the small gray room was lit by the soft glow of a path of string lights which formed a makeshift rectangular stage. Muted conversation filled the room, the musings of seven or eight audience members.

The event? Drop the Mic. Hosted by Savanna DeWeese and Denisha Garner, both Lottie Jane Mabee RAs. The open mic night was held Wednesday, February 10 at 8PM. A few minutes after 8 p.m., the room held about ten students and Savanna and Denisha took the stage to introduce themselves and start the show.

They explained that during the event, they would be accepting donations for the Oklahoma Literary Arts Alliance, an organization which promotes the literary arts in Oklahoma primarily through education and programs for young people and teachers.

With that, the first performer took the stage, introduced by Sa-

vanna.

I will preface this section of the review by saying that I am a staunch supporter of open mics. I absolutely love getting the chance to see someone else perform a talent that they’ve worked hard on and invested a lot of themselves into. I live for talent shows, recitals and coffeeshop concerts. There’s a refreshing sort of honesty and vulnerability to them.

I was thrilled by the concept of an on-campus open mic, an accessible opportunity for students to branch out and share their work with others, and excited to see what TU students had to offer. And let me tell you, Drop the Mic’s performers did not disappoint.

Most of the performers recited original poetry, and much of it was impressive. James Terrell took to the stage to recite a poem about an unrequited crush which began and ended with bits of echoing, a cappella song.

Also notable was Audrey O’Donnel, who recited a very moving poem about innocence— those who are lucky enough to keep theirs, and those who find that things aren’t quite so easy.

While most performers shared their personal work, Justin Dussold broke the mold by reciting a bit of dark prose by another author.

Throughout the show, more au-

photo by Hannah Kloppenburg

dience members filed in, leading to a total of 25 or so in the room.

After the list of performers was exhausted, the floor was opened up for impromptu performances.

A couple of the audience members who had just arrived volunteered, most notably Michelle Hunter, Residence Director of Hardesty Hall, who recited an impassioned poem by Eve Ensler, author of The Vagina Monologues.

My only criticism of the event was that it didn’t last very long.

However, I understand that the length of an open mic is entirely dependent on how many performers sign up—Drop the Mic featured several great performers over the course of about half an hour.

I definitely enjoyed myself at Drop the Mic and would love to see similar programs on campus.

When asked if there would be more open mics to come, Savanna and Denisha told me that Drop the Mic was a first-time event and a chance to test the waters, but that they may be interested in having another open mic in the future.

If that’s the case, count me in. If there’s two things I can get behind, it’s students getting involved with the arts and charities that benefit the arts. Drop the Mic had both, and I can’t wait for more.

Break one slice of ginger into pieces; tear one fennel frond into bits.

Muddle ginger and fennel with bitters in a mixing glass.

Add ice, cranberry juice and vodka; shake until very cold.

Strain into chilled pint glass and top with ginger beer.

Garnish with a fennel frond and slice of ginger.

Drink this if: You need an herbal, spicy kick to propel you through this dull winter lull until spring break.

Tart cranberry pairs well with sweet fennel to combat the spicy ginger ale. A slight tanginess provided by the bitters rounds out the drink, which is smooth overall regardless of the three portions of vodka.

This cocktail is a step away from rich and creamy winter drinks and simultaneously a step towards refreshing spring sippers, though it accomplishes that through the use of bright winter flavors.

photo by Sara Douglas

News

The Collegian: 6

15 February 2016

Dry Gulch For Sale

Future plans uncertain, open to suggestions

courtesy Dry Gulch

Church On The Move decided to sell Dry Gulch.

Now, TU may have to find a new orientation location.

Trent Gibbons Student Writer If you’re a current student at TU, there’s a good chance you’re familiar with Dry Gulch. TU has used the location for its Orientation Week activities since 2013, meaning many incoming freshmen’s first real chance to socialize with one another occurred in its pools, arcades, the food court or even the graveyard-themed designated smoking area.

Just this past week, however, it was announced that Dry Gulch would be put on the market by its current owner, Church On The Move.

Church On the Move was founded by Willie George in 1987 under the title of Willie George ministries. It was a humble begin-

ning, with little over 150 attendants at the time.

Today Church on the Move has become a ‘Mega-church’ with three campuses. It hosts a website that archives and streams the church’s services.

Its estimated membership num-

camp’s most popular feature, Christmas Train, was canceled last year. The train ride, which would recount the story of the bible, attracted approximately 60,000 guests each year.

As far as selling the summer camp in whole, Willie George

Church on the Move, which has “far surpassed” his previous religious efforts.

Meanwhile, Church on the Move has agreed to honor its Dry Gulch contract with Tulsa University for the summer of 2016. Both their organization and the TU ad-

“The university, however, is aware of the potential need to switch locations to accommodate future incoming freshmen.” bers over 10,000 Christians, and the church was recently reported to be the largest in Tulsa.

In George’s announcement that Dry Gulch would be put on the market, the pastor explained that the financial costs of running the camp were “draining” the organization at large.

This might not come as a shock, especially considering that the

claimed it to be a divinely-influenced decision. “I believe that God has released me,” he explained, “after five years of prayer.”

He went on to cite his fading importance in Dry Gulch, saying, “me being there is no longer important.” The pastor’s image no longer necessary to the success of the camp, he feels drawn to focus his efforts elsewhere, namely

ministration are hopeful that whoever does purchase the land continues this trend of cooperation.

The university, however, is aware of the potential need to switch locations to accommodate future incoming freshmen.

Steven Denton, of the office of New Student Programs and Services, emphasizes his belief in the “value of an off-site, overnight ex-

perience for first-year students to connect with each other as a whole class.”

The purpose of StartTU week at large is “to make students feel welcome and reduce any concerns they have about transitioning to life at TU… Helping new students to develop connections and build friendships while they are informed about student resources, the university’s key values and school pride.”

Because of their commitment to maintaining a successful orientation week and helping new students acclimate to college, the office is currently taking suggestions for a new location, should the need for a transition arise.

They’re looking for anything that is reasonably close to campus, large enough to house 500-600 students and offers entertaining activity options.

Anyone with a site in mind which fits these parameters is encouraged to contact the office at starttu@utulsa.edu.

February 16 & 17 at 10:00am to 4:00pm Student Union, Great Hall B

Blood Drive To meet our community blood supply needs, we depend on people like you to make blood donations every day of the year. We know you will feel good about saving lives, but we also want you to feel good while you donate.

FREE PIZZA AND TACO BELL COUPON TO ALL DONORS!!!

Feb. 8 8:30 a.m.

University of Tulsa campus Security officers were dispatched to the intersection of 4th PL. and Delaware in reference to a vehicle assistance. Upon arrival officers met with a student who ran out of gas.

Officers escorted the student to the nearest Quick Trip and 11th and College to buy a gas tank and also get gas. On the way to quick Trip, the student stated that it was their friends car who was also a student.

6:00 p.m.

University of Tulsa campus Security officers received a information on a possible threat made online.

Officers notified Housing & International Student Services. Officers attempted to contact the student in question, but discovered that their campus residence was not being used. The investigation is ongoing.

7:40 p.m.

University of Tulsa campus Security officers were dispatched to investigate to a medical emergency

at the Lorton Performance Center east parking lot. An individual had tripped on the speed bump and hit the pavement face first. EMSA was called to evaluate the individual.

The family of the individual took them to St. John in Broken Arrow to be further evaluated.

Feb. 9 5:35 p.m.

University of Tulsa campus Security officers were dispatched to the University Square Apartments on report of a stolen bicycle. Upon arriving officers met with the reporting party who stated that their bicycle was locked up at the bike rack. Officers searched the area and advised the individual to make a report with the Tulsa Police Department.

Feb. 10 3:15 p.m.

University of Tulsa campus Security officers were dispatched to investigated a possible suspicious individual near the University School. Upon arrival officers

made contact with the University School administration staff, officers learned a suspicious individual had walked nearby the school’s fence. The individual then was seen oddly pacing on the opposite sidewalk before entering a house across from the school. Officers made contact with the individual, who claimed they were just returning a lost ball to the playground area.

4:45 p.m.

University of Tulsa campus Security officers were dispatched to a fire alarm at the Delta Gama Sorority. Upon arrival officers found the fire panel which indicated first floor north hallway. It was determined to be caused by cooking in the kitchen. TFD was notified, but was canceled prior to arriving on campus.

The Collegian does not edit the Campus Crime Watch except for content and brevity.

Tuesday, February 16 at 6:00pm to 7:30pm Student Union, Student Affairs Multipurpose Room Bringing in the Bystander A 90-minute program designed to teach students how they can make TU a safer campus for everyone. RSVP at https://www.surveymonkey. com/r/BystanderTU Wednesday, February 17 at 7:00pm to 8:00pm Student Union, Great Hall B The Freedman Saga Are the freedmen descendants of tribal citizens also citizens? A lawsuit filed by the Cherokee Nation in federal court in Tulsa could answer this question.

Ron Graham is a freedman descendant, and he will talk about the history and lineage of the Freedmen.

Dinner will be provided. The event is free and open to the public.

Freedmen: Former slaves who were released from slavery, usually by legal means. Freedmen who were former slaves of Native Americans often stayed with the tribe, adopting their culture, language, and dress and in some tribes also intermarrying. Originally, these freedmen were given Native American citizenship, of which many have been revoked in the past 40 years.

Friday, February 19 at 7:00pm to 10:00pm Tyrrell Hall, Ellen G. Adelson Auditorium The Vagina Monologues The University of Tulsa Women’s and Gender Studies program will be putting on a production of Eve Ensler’s “The Vagina Monologues.”

Tickets can be purchased from 11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. Feb. 17 and 19 in the Student Union. Tickets are $5 for general admission and $3 for students.

News

15 February 2016

The Collegian: 7

A black hair affair: library hosts Black History Month event Rudisill Library celebrates Black History Month by discussing the problems Black women have faced because of their hair.

Kyle Crutchfield Student Writer The event, called “An Afrocentric Invitation: A Black Hair Affair,” began with a viewing of the short film, “You Can Touch My Hair” by Antonia Opiah, founder of Unruly, an Internet blog dedicated to Black hair affairs.

The film’s feature is a public art exhibit in Central Park, NYC, where Black women from all over the city came with signs, and of course, their hair.

The women spoke about what it’s like to live with their hair. They shared their experiences with strangers, particularly White strangers, constantly wanting to touch their hair.

“It’s invasive,” one woman exclaims.

Her sign read wryly, “What’ll it be next, my butt?”

“It’s just curiosity,” another woman says.

Her sign read, “You can touch my hair.”

This was the central theme for the exhibit. Was touching Black women’s hair an act of exploitation or education? The opinions

of the women in Central Park seemed to be split right down the middle.

However, there was another issue that all of the women seemed to agree on. What followed was an overwhelming criticism on the socialization of Black women to be embarrassed by their hair.

“It’s as if there’s something wrong with our hair,” one woman commented. “Something about the texture is off, and people try to change it.”

“It’s more socially acceptable to wear weaves now,” another woman remarked.

“Historically, we’ve started off wrong, and our hair has suffered from it.”

The film briefly shares the story of Sarah Baartman, the woman who spent years in European “freak shows” in the eighteenth century because of her buxom, non-white appearance. To most White people, it seems, Black women’s physical characteristics are still just as strange, though they aren’t sources of as much overt discrimination like they were before.

Like the women in the film, the Black women in Rudisill had their own opinions on the matter. And, exactly like the women in the film, they lambasted the White-oriented socialization of the past.

“Every other weekend my daddy would take me to the hairdresser to get my hair straightened,” one woman shared. “I endured the pain. I still remember hearing my

father tell me, ‘Yo hair so nappy it looks like wool.’ It was unbearable. I felt so free when I shaved it off.”

One woman, a speaker for American Airlines for many years, shared her story of discrimination: “One day, before I was due to give a speech, my boss came up to me and said, ‘You know, you’d look better if you paid for [your hair].”

Another woman, a worker for Phillips 66, recounted how the company didn’t allow women to wear braids: “So, as I was leaving, they asked me what I was going to do. I told them, ‘The first thing I’m going to do is get my hair done.’”

A fear many of the women had was the effect this socialization has had on young Black girls. As another woman expressed, “I work with first grade girls every day, and they’re so concerned about their hair. They tell me, ‘Beyoncé has all this money, and she’s not doing anything with Blue Ivy’s

TU introduces two new clubs to campus TU Smash

Elias Brinkman Photos/Graphics Editor

Sammie Hottel Student Writer

Riot breaks out in Mexican prison, 49 dead A prison riot erupted at the Topo Chico prison in Monterrey, Mexico on Thursday.

The riot began as a brawl between rival drug gangs, but it escalated into a deadly melee that left forty-nine inmates dead and twelve injured. No escaped prisoners were reported. The fighting began around midnight when prisoners set fire to a storage area.

Nuevo León state governor Jaime Rodríguez announced forty of the victims at a news conference, but stated that the rest were too charred by fire to be identified.

Rodríguez identified the leader of the initial brawl as Juan Pedro Zaldivar Farias, a member of the Zetas drug cartel. The Zetas, who once controlled the entire Monterrey area, were infamous for their bloody turf wars, which occurred in 2010 and 2012.

NATO warships enter Aegean Sea amid migrant crisis In an effort to end the dangerous smuggling of migrants from Turkey to Greece, NATO ordered three warships into the Aegean Sea on Thursday. The decision was a response to a joint request by Germany, Greece and Turkey for international aid in targeting smugglers. NATO officials acknowledged present uncertainties about the exact function of the warships, particularly the question of whether they would be used to rescue drowning migrants.

NATO Secretary-General Jens Stoltenberg stated that “This is about helping Greece, Turkey and the European Union with stemming the flow of migrants and refugees and coping with a very demanding situation ... a human tragedy.”

hair?’” She concluded, “The media have projected a universal image of beauty which ain’t us.”

One thing remained clear: Hair, for these women, was a source of pride. Many of them shared that they’ve been natural for years. Others, like some of the women in the film, disliked their natural hair. “It’s hard work,” they all agreed.

“All that matters is how you feel when you look in the mirror.”

As for the current state of Black hair in media, the women at Rudisell seemed to agree that things are looking better. “New media are instigators of the resurrection of natural hair.” Bloggers all around the Internet are sharing their tips on how to take care of their locks, while keeping its natural texture.

Last Friday, TU Smash held its first ever event as an SA chartered club, but it is by no means a new organization to its members.

The University of Tulsa Smash Bros. was created first as a Facebook page in February of last year for TU students to organize meet-ups and coordinated tournaments around the various Smash Bros. games.

Starting sometime last April, juniors William Moore and James Whisenhunt (now the club’s president and vice president) began working with their advisor, Josh Hulgan (Residence Director of John Mabee Hall) to make the group an official club with SA. As Whisenhunt explained it, the process started with writing a constitution last summer. By October and November, the group moved to holding “pilot events” in John Mabee Hall’s Club Mabee to demonstrate that there was significant interest in the club, as well as to hold officer elections.

From there, the club’s largest setback was a wait on the approval for its financial account, lasting several weeks as the proposal coincided with the start of their approver’s vacation. After gaining financial approval, the club established its OrgSpace account, met with SA’s Student Organization Committee and went before SA Senate. Now, after ten long months, TU Smash is officially SA sanctioned.

Relatively speaking, the culture surrounding the Super Smash Bros. series at TU is fairly new. Although Smash Bros. has long been a popular series of party games,

two events in particular helped to form its more extensive and dedicated following.

The first was the release of a comprehensive documentary in 2013 which chronicled the competitive history of the series’ most established title: Super Smash Bros. Melee, released in 2001 for the Nintendo Gamecube. Since then, large, international Melee tournaments like EVO 2015 and GENESIS 3 have attracted hundreds of thousands of viewers. Additionally, the series recently released its newest iteration, Super Smash Brothers for Wii U/3DS, which built more on the series’ already rapidly expanding fanbase, and now includes its own competitive scene that rivals that of Melee in popularity.

The event last Friday provided a good example of what Whisenhunt described as a “less committed” experience for players of “both a casual and competitive level.” Typically, the community at TU tends to segregate into different events by game and play style—Melee is usually the more fast-paced, competitive game while Smash for Wii U/3DS lends itself to more casual play. At the event, however, students played friendlies in both iterations: one-on-one and group matches. More experienced players like Josniff (gamertag), who is ranked the 14th best Melee player in Oklahoma, were even helping newer players with constructive criticism.

In the future, Whisenhunt expressed his and Moore’s plan for larger events in more varied event spaces, as well as his hope to expand the club’s reach to play and compete in regional tournaments.

Serious questions raised at Berlin Film Festival During the 66th annual Berlin Film Festival, several actors and directors were grilled with heavy questions about the migrant crisis and diversity in film. George Clooney, appearing on the Hail, Caesar! panel, was asked by a Mexican journalist what he was personally doing to help the immigrant crisis in Europe. Clooney replied, “I’d like to know what YOU are doing to help the situation?” and went on to say, “I’m meeting with [German Chancellor Angela] Merkel tomorrow.”

Meryl Streep, who was head of a seven member jury, was questioned about her devotion to human rights and political issues in relation to film, to which she replied ““I’m very committed to equality and inclusion of people of all genders, races, ethnicities, religions.” Later, when asked if she was familiar with Middle Eastern Cinema, she said “The thing I notice is that there is a core of humanity that travels through every culture and, after all, we’re all from Africa really,” meaning the birthplace of the human race was Africa. She was heavily criticized on social media for this comment, especially in light of issues regarding the all-white Academy Award nominations.

Burundian Government protests against Rwanda

Thousands of Burundi citizens took part in government sanctioned demonstrations on Saturday. The protests were against neighboring Rwanda, which has been accused of supporting a rebellion to topple Burundi President Pierre Nkurunziza. After Nkurunziza announced that he would be seeking another term, violent street protests erupted, resulting in at least 400 deaths. More than 200,000 Burundians fled to neighboring countries, most notably Rwanda. The Burundi government has since then accused Rwanda of arming and training rebels among the refugees. Demonstrators surrounded the Rwandan embassy, singing anti-Rwanda songs. A UN panel made similar allegations against Rwanda after speaking to eighteen Burundi refugees who had been recruited as combatants by Rwanda with the goal of removing Nkurunziza from power.

US to sell up to eight F-16 fighter jets to Pakistan The Pentagon announced on Friday its plan to sell up to eight F-16 fighter jets built

by Lockheed Martin Corporation to the Pakistan Air Force. The jets will improve the Pakistani military’s counter-insurgency and counterterrorism operations by allowing the air force to operate in various weather environments. The jets, along with radar and other equipment, were sold for a total of $699 million.

One official explained that the sale would, “reduce the ability of militants to use Pakistani territory as a safe haven for terrorism and a base of support for the insurgency in Afghanistan, which is in the national interests of both Pakistan and the United States, and in the interest of the region more broadly.”

photo by Elias Brinkman

A group of students plays Smash for Wii U in Club Mabee at the inaugural Smash fest.

University of Tulsa Museum Appreciation Michaela Flonard Student Writer Recently, SA chartered the University of Tulsa Museum Appreciation club. Hannah Johnson, a graduate student, is president.

Molly Noah, another graduate student, is secretary.

The club exists to promote student opportunities to go to museums, events and cultural activities. “A lot of people will think about museums, but don’t have anyone to go with,” Johnson said. She hopes the club can give people a group to go with.

Being a new club, UTMA does not have firm events set up as of yet. So far, the group plans to regularly attend First Friday events in the Brady Arts District. This semester and possibly the next, the club plans to explore the Tulsa area. As they receive more funding, they hope to travel around the state to visit further away museums. “Ultimately,

we’re just in the beginning stages,” Noah says, but they hope to “coordinate with OU or OSU about bigger lecture series” or other events.

In addition, Johnson hopes to have events with speakers talking about art, anthropology or other topics. Noah adds that they want to promote “museumology” through programming, as well. She wants to encourage undergraduates to “see museums as a great career” and explore TU’s graduate program.

Johnson also hopes to have the club involved with charity events. These events could be anything from a drive for art supplies for local kids or fundraising for local schools to get buses to go to museums.

“Museums are an incredible way to experience your community,” Noah says, “they’re informal but also informed about a particular topic.” With the addition of the club, those involved hope to expand students’ college experience beyond campus.

The Collegian: 8

Commentary

15 February 2016

OU professor’s criticism of socialism is misinformed

An OU professor’s article lumping Bernie Sanders’ democratic socialism in with the socialist policies of the Soviet Union is misleading and inaccurate.

Kirby Hockensmith Student Writer

photos courtesy Wiki Commons

Above: Dave Deming, the OU professor whose editorial targeted socialism. Below: Members of the Democratic Socialists of America (Bernie Sanders’ self-proclaimed political affiliation) march on Wall Street.

On January 30, a geology professor at the University of Oklahoma named David Deming published an article attacking the economic and political system of socialism and condemning the use of socialist policies in the United States.

This article was primarily aimed at targeting Bernie Sanders and his supporters; the opening line being “It’s disheartening that an avowed socialist is a viable candidate for the president of the United States.” He goes on to proclaim that the education system in the United States has failed to educate the youth about the dangers of socialism and the perils that will be wrought on any nation that attempts to implement socialist policies. According to him, “Socialism is a dead-end. For hundreds of years it has failed everywhere it’s been adopted.”

There are several glaring faults with his argument, starting with the statement above being blatantly false. Socialism has been employed very effectively for decades in the Scandinavian countries. These countries boast far less income inequality and reduced poverty rates relative to those in the United States.

In terms of the Gini coefficient (a measure of income inequality on a scale of 0-100, with 100 being the highest amount of income inequality possible), Sweden has one of the lowest coefficients in the world at 25, while the United States has a coefficient

of 41.1. To put that in perspective, the country with the highest Gini coefficient is Brazil with a 53.1.

Professor Deming cites the fall of the Soviet Union and the current status of Venezuela as examples of the inadequacies of socialism. The economic and social downfall of these countries is apparent, but these countries were not prototypical socialist countries. They employed communism, which is one of the most extreme forms of socialism.

“Socialism” can refer to a fairly wide range of economic policies. You cannot compare the policies of the Soviet Union to those of Bernie Sanders. There is an enormous difference in Sanders wanting to raise the minimum wage to reduce income inequality and Stalin creating a command economy with himself at the helm.

The types of policies Sanders is proposing are incomparable to those used in the Soviet Union for both the reason stated above, and the fact that Sanders is a democratic-socialist, not a full-fledged proponent of socialism.

The economic system of the United States would not change under Sanders’ policies. We would continue to have a free market economy, but Sanders would take steps to improve current social issues, such as the poverty rate and income gap. As of now, the top twenty percent of Americans hold more than eighty percent of the total wealth in the country. This rate is growing every year, and Sanders wants to implement policies to bridge the gap.

Professor Deming does make one point in his article that is hard to argue with: the education system is obviously failing. If someone can draw comparisons between the policies of Bernie Sanders and those of Joseph Stalin, there has been an extreme lack of adequate education somewhere down the line.

The way Professor Deming has lumped Bernie Sanders in with entities such as the Soviet Union and Venezuela is representative of the misguided view of Bernie Sanders that is held by many Americans. Sanders has no intention of turning us into a country like the Soviet Union, or even Sweden for that matter; he simply wants what is best for the American people.

Women should not have to register for the draft

Despite now being able to participate in all combat roles, women should still not be required to register for the Selective Service System.

Brennen VanderVeen Student Writer

In order to believe that women should register for the Selective Service System (SSS), which serves to make the US ready for military conscription, one must accept several premises: 1) that the SSS is desirable for the country in the first place, 2) that women should be able to serve a role in the military (in particular, in combat roles) and 3) that these two premises mean that women should register for the SSS. As to the first premise, a case can be made to abolish the SSS altogether. There are two principal objections to the SSS, one philosophical and one policy-oriented. Service to one’s country is a good and admirable thing, but the SSS goes beyond that. It creates a requirement that a young person, by nature of his existence, owes something (up to his life) to his government. It further allows that government to penalize anyone who does not render unto it what it is owed, not just with denial of many benefits, but also with up to a $250,000 fine and five years in pris-

the lives of its youngest adult citizens, but its necessity is not at all apparent. No draft orders have been issued since 1972. In fact, President Ford actually ended the requirement that men register with the SSS in 1975.

There was no requirement until President Carter renewed it in 1980 in response to the Soviet Invasion of Afghanistan. The Gulf War and the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan were all fought without a draft.

The nature of warfare has changed. While soldiers will be necessary for the foreseeable future, forces of such a large scale as were necessary in past wars are unlikely.

Also, the all-volunteer force that the US currently employs is usually seen as superior to a force with draftees because of its better morale and superior training. Finally, in the event that America faces a direct existential threat and needs to go to war to defend itself, I have little doubt that many, many more people will volunteer for military service.

Some might agree that the SSS should be abolished, but argue that as long as it exists, it should treat men and women equally.

This is misguided. If one views the SSS as an injustice, expanding it to cover women only makes that injustice affect more people directly. If one views it merely as a non-optimal policy, including women does nothing to make it better.

However, for the sake of argument, let us assume that the SSS is good and proper policy. That still leaves open the question of what role women should serve in the military. Here a distinction needs to be made.

Not all military positions are combat roles.

Having women in the military is not particularly controversial, and I see no problem with it. However, I remain skeptical of having women in combat roles.

Men, overall, have several physical advantages over women: their blood carries more oxygen, they weigh more, have more muscle mass and stronger bones. Israel is often given as an example of a country that conscripts women, but it actually significantly restricts the role that they can serve in combat.

Perhaps my concerns about women serving in combat are unfounded. Perhaps the military finds no drawback in allowing physically exceptional women to participate in combat. That still doesn’t mean that women should have to be drafted.

While some women are exceptional, as a proportion, significantly fewer women than men have the physical capability of meeting the high standards needed for graphic by Elias Brinkman combat. If a draft were It would be an injustice to force women to register for the SSS. necessary, it would for the cultural distinction between men make much more sense to restrict it to the the segment of the and women. Women being forced into the population who is best suited for combat. military and dying on the battlefield, in all Women would be more likely to be turned likelihood in a greater proportion than men, away or forced into roles of which they are would, justifiably or not, demoralize the nation in a way that men dying would not.

Also, while I do believe drafting men is a great injustice, I find drafting women to be a greater injustice still.

Even if one sees the draft as a virtuous policy promoting patriotism, I do not see the virtue in extending it to women given the natural physical differences between the not as prepared as their male counterparts.

Of course, not all military roles are com- sexes. To demand that women must be able bat roles. Could women be drafted into to be drafted ignores the historical contrithose roles? I don’t see the necessity. A draft butions that women have made during past is only likely to be reinstated in an extreme wars. After all, it isn’t as though the women emergency. If non-combat roles are what of America did nothing to help the war efis needed in such an emergency, okay, but fort during WWII.

“If one views the SSS as an injustice, expanding it to cover women only makes that injustice affect more people directly.” on. The implication is that, at least in certain circumstances, the government has a higher claim on a young man’s life than he does.

Supporters of registration might respond by stating that a draft could be necessary for the preservation of the country and that those most able have a responsibility to defend it. If a draft were necessary for the protection of the homeland, that might be justification enough for the state laying claim to

For instance, a recent study by the Marines found that mixed-sex units performed worse than all-male units in 39 of 134 tasks tested. Also, women were far more likely to receive injuries. Women have had a much harder time completing Army Ranger training than men: in the first sex-integrated class of Army Rangers, none of the nineteen women who participated made it past the first phase.

I have a suspicion that people will be most needed specifically for combat.

Finally, there is something to be said

15 February 2016

Commentary

The Collegian: 9

Beyoncé Bowl Beyoncé’s unapologetic blackness makes “Formation” her best work yet. The song specifically celebrates black culture while drawing attention to injustice—and that’s okay.

courtesy Arnie Papp / Flickr

Beyonce’s perfomance at Super Bowl 50, which caused controversy because of her backup dancers’ Black Panther-inspired outfits.

Isaac Sanders Student Writer Beyoncé Giselle Knowles-Carter has been in my life since 1999 when Destiny’s Child was launched into mainstream recognition. I knew all the words to “Say My Name” and “Bills, Bills, Bills” before I knew how to add and subtract. I have followed Queen Bey through a solo career, a marriage, a pregnancy and all of her controversy without missing a beat.

This single woman had more control over my emotions then I had when I was going through puberty; just imagine a thirteenyear-old black boy balled up on the floor crying uncontrollably listening to “If I Were a Boy” like he was living with the double standard of gender roles in America. I might as well have been a Single Lady trying to get someone to put a ring on it from late 2008 through all of 2009 and do not get me started on how crunk I get whenever “Ring the Alarm” comes on to this day.

Mrs. Carter keeps throwing curve balls at me and in regular Bey fashion dropped the biggest bomb on everyone this weekend simply because she wanted us to get in

formation for the blessing we did not even know we needed.

Flashback to Saturday, the sixth of February, the day that all of our wigs were removed because Beyoncé decided to just drop a whole video and single for no reason at all! The way this was done and the reasoning behind it are rooted in some controversy, but know this: her video, after 24 hours, had over 8 million views and the video was UNLISTED on Youtube.

What that means is that you can not Google, Bing, ask Jeeves or call Jesus on the mainline to find this song. You have to have a direct link or Tidal, which no one has because Jay Z thinks we are made of money, to see Formation.

Even with these stipulations, she broke Black Twitter with the utmost ease because she not only made a pro-black banger but touched on police brutality, black female unity, black natural hair, black nostrils and the Katrina aftermath. Bey also incorporated the gay NOLA scene into her video by bringing in Messy Mya (R.I.P.) and Big Freedia and chocolate queens momentarily doing some bounce dances.

The whole song and video was just SO black and just unapologetically southern that it made me miss going to the movies with my friends who carried hot sauce in their purses to put on their popcorn.

Beyoncé allowed me to live in a space I do not get to be in often because I go to a predominantly white institution (PWI), and I basked in the melanin magic thoroughly.

Mrs. Carter was not done yet because the premiere of all this was more system-

atic than racism in our society. Queen Bey dropped all of this blackness the day before she was scheduled to appear on the Super Bowl with Coldplay and Bruno Mars. Not only was I about to die because Beyoncé was going to slay, but there were rumors she was revealing another new song at the show. #BeyonceBowl became a worldwide trending topic and I waited patiently for the halftime show. The show started and Coldplay popped up: wasn’t happy. Then Bruno Mars started Uptown Funking and I was indifferent.

And then a single camera change removed my wig AGAIN. Not only was Beyoncé serving unified dance performance gold but all of her backup dancers were dressed as the Black Panther Party. Beyoncé took the pro-black narrative to the next level and floored my entire soul.

Then I realized she was dressed as Michael “The King of Pop” Jackson yelling about Jackson Five nostrils, like what? She was not done though, she was far from done, because all of a sudden I realized I’m going to have to overdraft my bank account to pay for a suprise Formation tour!

At this point I have gone through several wigs, my heart can not take anymore surprises and I am preparing to file bankruptcy over a concert. I learn Jay Z is giving 1.5 million dollars to the #blacklivesmatter movement and the Formation tour will provide money to the Flint Water Crisis which is the cherry on top of the blackest sundae since Huey P Newton and Bobby Seale started the Black Panthers. Hashtags like #beingablackgirlislit and #Islay became common knowledge,

and I was so busy praising all my black sisters in their excitement that I missed the backlash until February 8.

Negative comments included white erasure (something people of color, especially women of color, have dealt with since the creation of this country in every media source/company you can think of), reverse racism (which will forever not be real no matter how much people say it is), claims that the song was an attack on the police (when did a black woman talking about Red Lobster kill a police officer?) and criticisms of being proud of being black.

Regardless, Beyoncé made, in my opinion, the best song in her repertoire. All the Fox News reporters can complain and bash Beyoncé for being black, like she actually is, and loving every bit of it, like the Black Panthers did, without disenfranchising anyone. The problem with all the criticism that this takeover encountered was that it was rooted in white supremacy ideologies.

Your international pop star did not include all the girls because she wanted the melanin to radiate for once. Not everything is for everyone and that’s okay.

So you can complain all you want to but you’re eventually going to fall in formation for Beyoncé Giselle Knowles-Carter, the mixture of negro and creole, the queen of pop, the snatcher of wigs and the reason I can say I’m a black Bill Gates in the making. She’s welcome.

By the way, for anybody who thinks this song did not do anything for anyone, Red Lobster’s sales skyrocketed after Beyonce’s “Formation” shout out. Boom!

How to address Okla. teen birth rate

Oklahoma has the second highest teen birth rate in the nation. This can be addressed by tackling issues with poverty, sex ed and contraceptive availability.

James Whisenhunt Student Writer The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy recently released new statistics on national and state teen birth rates from 2014.

First, though, it’s important to note the differences between teen birth rates and teen pregnancy rates, as the two differ substantially.

The Campaign’s teen pregnancy rates haven’t been updated since 2010, but the numbers for every state are double, if not more, than the birth rates. The drop-off is due in large part to national access to abortion, as well as miscarriages.

According to the data, our state has 38.5 teen births for every 1,000 girls from ages 15-19. This placed Oklahoma 49th of the 50 states, meaning we currently have the 2nd highest rate of teen births, only behind neighboring Arkansas with a 39.5.

One potential concern with this data is that it only looks at girls attending high school, so it’s possible that the rates should be higher across the nation as some girls may drop out of school to work or take care of their baby at home.

This data may be disheartening, but it also shows that Oklahoma’s rate has dropped by 47 percent since 1991, the peak year for teen births nationwide.

This success certainly isn’t something to ignore, but it still ranks Oklahoma 45th of

the 50 states in terms of percent change.

The average change in birth rates since ‘91 has been 61 percent down, and the top ranked state, Delaware, has gone down by 81 percent.

New England is doing very well overall, in fact, as 9 of the 10 states with the lowest birth rates are in the region. In contrast, the southern region of the US has a majority of the states with the highest rates in the nation.

What does New England do that we don’t?

One difference is in demographics. The average income in New England states is about $20,000 more than Oklahoma’s, and OK has a higher percentage of its people living in poverty.

There are many reasons for the correlation between poverty and teen parenthood, such as norms in the family system. This isn’t something that can be fixed by directly attacking teen birth, but by attacking poverty and seeing rates go down as a side-effect.

Many states in New England also teach comprehensive sex education in high school.

Oklahoma, and many southern states, may teach abstinence-only sex ed if they teach anything.

This leads to an uneducated population of teenagers in this region that are still having sex, but just aren’t doing it safely.

The National Campaign has data from 2013 about the percentage of sexually active high school students, as well. They found that, of the 36 states they have data on, Oklahoma was ranked 33rd with 36.2 percent of high schoolers sexually active.

Many New England states have also invested in long-acting reversible contraception, or LARCs. These include methods like an IUD, which require initial setup outside of sexual contact but last for several years and are very effective. Oklahoma hasn’t invested much money into these contraceptive methods.

Teen births aren’t an easy problem to fix.

However, there are plenty of places to start for our state to not only rise in the interstate rankings, but to help our children be more informed and safe in sexual practices.

tucollegian@tucollegian.org

editor-in-chief

Giselle Willis managing editor

Fraser Kastner news editor

Kayleigh Thesenvitz sports editor

Matt Rechtien variety editor

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Hannah Kloppenburg satire editor

Caitlin Woods photo & graphics editor

Elias Brinkman

business & advertising manager

Paul Moses web manager

Sam Chott

distribution managers

Kayleigh Thesenvitz and Trent Gibbons

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Sports

The Collegian: 10

15 February 2016

Men’s team looks to bolster resume for NCAA

Tulsa’s At Large Numbers RPI: 44 BPI 73.7 2–4 vs RPI Top 50 5–8 vs RPI Top 100 Best Win: RPI 13 SMU photos by Greg Diskin

Left to right: Rashad Smith drives to the hoop against Houston on Feb 7. Also in the picture is a summary of Tulsa’s current NCAA at-large resume which includes an RPI (Ratings Percentage Index) of 44, and a BPI (Baketball Power Index) of 73.7. Those are both determined by wins, losses and strength of schedule. Pat Birt shoots a three against Houston. He had a career-high 27 points in the win, and 24 points in Saturday nights loss to the Huskies.

Tulsa upset SMU on the road to bolster their NCAA resume, but lost in the final minutes to UConn in Storrs. Going into the final month of the season, TU is on the March Madness bubble.

AAC Standings SMU

Temple

Cincinatti

UConn

Tulsa Houston

9–3 9–3 9–4 8–4 8–5 8–5

Joseph Edmunds Sports Writer

photos by Greg Diskin

James Woodard takes a shot against Connecticut in the home win in January. The current American Athletic Conference standings are attached to the picture. Tulsa currently sits tied for fifth. This will determine the seedings for the conference tournament (which SMU cannot participate in), and the winner of that will receive an auto-berth.

Women beat Houston and UCF The women’s basketball team took advantage of two home games and gained momentum with comfortable wins over Houston and UCF.

Later in the week, UCF came to town.

The game against the Knights was vastly different than the game against Houston. In the first quarter against UCF, Tulsa scored 30, opening a 16 point lead and never looking back. Kelsee Grovey scored 32 points, pacing the offense to a 95–71 victory.

In the game, Grovey set two school records. She made 10 three-point shots in the game, a single-game school record. Those 10 put her at 223 for her career, another TU record. She passed Kara Pongonis-Paslay, who held the previous mark of 222.

As they head into their game against SMU this week, Tulsa now owns a 10–15 (7–7 conference) record, and moved up to 6th place in the conference standings. This week, they face Tulane and SMU, the teams directly above and below them in the conference standings, respectively. The games are on the road, but hopefully they can ride the momentum of the big wins this week and Grovey’s record setting performances to continue their win streak.

Joseph Edmunds Sports Writer In the first game of the week, the Houston Cougars visited the Reynolds Center. Each team had a hard time knocking down shots for the majority of the game. Houston shot a miserable 16 percent from the field while Tulsa wasn’t much better with at 31 percent.

Houston scored the first basket of the game, but that was the only deficit the Golden Hurricane faced, managing to make enough shots to come away with a comfortable 44–28 victory. The first two quarters were close, and the score was 21–18 in favor of Tulsa at halftime. In the second half, though, Tulsa was able to push ahead, and come away with the double digit win.

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The Golden Hurricane men’s basketball team bolstered their NCAA tournament resume this week, with a road victory against No. 16 ranked SMU. Tulsa’s dynamic duo of Shaquille Harrison and James Woodard paced the team with 21 and 20 points, respectively. Pat Birt added 17, and the team shot an incredible 58 percent from the field.

In the first half, the teams traded the lead a few times. Tulsa pulled ahead by 7 at one point, but couldn’t sustain the lead as SMU fought back. At halftime, Tulsa held a three point lead, 36–33.

The Golden Hurricane pushed the lead back up to seven early on in the second half, but SMU pulled back into the game again.

This time, they opened a lead of their own, and pushed it up to eight with ten minutes remaining in the game.

Tulsa wouldn’t go down quietly, though.

They slowly chipped away at the Mustang lead, and eventually tied the score at 71 apiece with less than three minutes left in the game.

Pat Birt hit a big three with thirty seconds left, James Woodard was perfect from the free throw line down the stretch and the

Golden Hurricane pulled out the road win, 82–77.

The loss was only the third of the season for SMU, which will make Tulsa look in the eyes of the selection committee come March.

After the signature win, Tulsa travelled to UConn. The first half was not kind to the Golden Hurricane. While the score was close for the first ten minutes, the Huskies used a 17–2 run to take a large 34–21 halftime lead.

Tulsa did their best to dig their way out of the hole in the second half. UConn managed to push the lead up to twenty a few minutes into the half, but Tulsa started to chip away at the lead after that.

The Golden Hurricane used an 8–0 run to bring the lead back down to single digits for the first time since the first half.

In the final two minutes, Tulsa managed to bring the Husky lead down to three. However, UConn converted their final six free throws, preventing the Tulsa comeback and sealing their victory, 75–73.

Tulsa now sits at 16–9 (8–5 American Athletic Conference), good for a fifth place tie with Houston in the conference standings.

The win against SMU bolstered the Golden Hurricane’s NCAA tournament resume, but they will need to win almost all of their remaining games and make a deep run into the conference tournament to garner serious consideration for the tournament.

And, with a team that has a strong veteran core with this much experience, that is very much within the realm of possibility.

It’s time for Peyton to retire on top Peyton Manning had a rough season as his numbers tumbled and his health took a serious hit, but still managed to win his second Super Bowl. Now he has a tough decision to make about his future.

Joseph Edmunds Sports Writer

When the Denver Broncos defeated the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, Peyton Manning was given a great opportunity: the chance to retire on top.

Peyton is undoubtedly one of the greatest quarterbacks to play the game of football. In his entire 17 season career in the National Football League, he had a losing record only twice, his rookie year and fourth year with the Colts.

In the past two seasons, he set two of the biggest records a quarterback can have: most career passing touchdowns (539) and most career passing yards (71,490). He has won two super bowls, and was named NFL MVP a record five times over the course of his career. The list of accolades isn’t short.

Now, at 39 years old, it’s the perfect time for him to retire. After the Super Bowl, he told the media that he wasn’t going to make his decision during the emotional time after the victory.

He hasn’t announced whether he will return to football next year. He has one year remaining on his contract with the Broncos,

and the Los Angeles Rams have also reported interest in having Manning play for them next season.

Peyton has the opportunity to play in the NFL for another season. However, doing so would be a tragic mistake. It has been a blessing to see Peyton throughout his career. Watching him has been an incredible experience of watching one of the greatest to ever play.

After his neck surgery in 2011, though, he didn’t look like the same quarterback. He is still the football genius he has been, but his arm strength is lacking.

Many people believed he should have retired before this season. He certainly was not the strength of the Broncos team this season, throwing 17 interceptions while only throwing 9 touchdown passes. In addition to the poor statistics he also missed a big chunk of the season due to injury, and Brock Osweiler had to start for the Broncos.

Yet, Peyton had the opportunity to win another Super Bowl, and accomplished that.

Until he won Super Bowl XLI in 2006, popular opinion was that Peyton couldn’t win in the playoffs.

Well, he now owns two Super Bowl rings.

He’s proven the doubters wrong. The chances of him winning the Super Bowl again aren’t great.

So, Peyton, please retire. Ride off into the sunset a champion. Don’t try to play another year, and make our last memories of you come from a mediocre season. Take advantage of this chance, and go out on top.

Sports

Opening weekend for softball 15 February 2016

After a two-month-long break from their fall seasons, the men and women’s tennis teams did not lose a step in play when the spring season started up again.

Matt Rechtien Sports Editor

The Golden Hurricane softball team opened up their season this weekend at the FAU Kick-Off tournament. For the first time since 2010, Tulsa missed the NCAA tournament last season, and is looking to bounce back like the team that has appeared in seven NCAA tournaments since 2006.

After a second place finish in both the regular season and the conference tournament last season (their first season in the American Athletic Conference) Head Coach John Bargfeldt talked about how there wasn’t a big change in their approach to this season.

Bargfeldt said, “In fact, most of the teams

as a senior after posting her career-best ERA at 2.21 and a 11–10 record in 28 appearances and 19 starts. She also set a TU record with six saves, while also tossing 11 complete games and six shutouts.

Talking about Still, Bargfeldt said, “She has really become a pitcher that has mastered the art of making at-bats uncomfortable for the opponents. She can move the ball around, different sides of the plate, different directions.”

In addition to the eleven returning players from last year’s roster, seven freshmen will join the roster; middle infielder Morgan Neal, infielder Tori Stafford, catcher Rylie Spell, left-handed pitcher Ellie Reaves and outfielders Julia Hollingsworth, Lauren Lomax and Ashley Kiser.

Bargfeldt hopes that the team can step up after the loss of the Golden Hurricane’s production from Julie Kernen and Erica Sampson, who graduated after last season. Kernen hit .331 with team-high 12 home runs,

“They have the makings of a team that can establish a legacy” we play in The American are former Conference USA teams. We were a little bit familiar with some of them. There were a couple of them that we hadn’t played at all.

It does give us a little bit more familiarity with those teams that we were playing for the first time last year. But our approach— we really go into games thinking, take care of ourselves. It’s not so much about opponents, it’s about what can we do, executing things the right way.”

One thing that will help the team execute their style of play is the return of some of their key veteran contributors. They are returning six all-conference players from last season, as well as seven of the eight starting position players from last season.

“We’re looking for those players to provide leadership to maybe be able to step into a season and not be so nervous and get us off to a good start,” Bargfeldt said.

Some of those key veteran hitters include Catherine Horner, a three-year starter, who’s a middle of the lineup hitter, Shelby Estocado, a sophomore shortstop, Jodi Edmiston, the senior centerfielder and Jocelyn Sheffield, who will be playing her first season as a full time starter this year after hitting .346 off the bench last season.

On the pitching side, Caitlin Still returns

15 doubles and 59 RBI, and Sampson hit .326 with eight homers, eight doubles, four triples and 29 RBI while scoring 57 runs.

“I don’t know that you can expect two players to step up and take the slack from the two graduated players, but collectively, if all those players make a little bit more improvement like they did from their previous year to last year, we might have five or six that come in with a better offensive season.

That production can be made up from a collective group of players.”

The biggest challenge and spot to focus on for the Golden Hurricane this season starts with their pitching, said Bargfeldt.

“We lost an 18-game winner, who only had three losses. To me, it all starts in the circle. Do we have the pitching that can hold teams down, so that we can score runs. Can we throw zeroes at good teams, because good teams are going to have good pitching.

They’re going to be able to throw zeroes at you.”

The second challenge for this team will be the defense. “Can our defense really make the plays for us, because I wouldn’t say that we have strikeout pitchers. We’re going to get our share of strikeouts, but we’re not going to strikeout 12–14 players per game.

So we have to have that area. Our defense

has to really help us, come out and make the routine play, as well as several big plays.

So that’s what I really look for, to start with that. Hitting really comes and goes. I do like the fact that we have a lot of experienced hitters that are back, but we do want to have that solid defense and that solid pitching.”

In the preseason poll the team was picked to finish second in the conference, the same place that they did last season. Bargfeldt talked about that result.

“I don’t put too much stock into it. It’s nice that other coaches maybe recognize you a little bit, but to be honest with you, I think most coaches vote kind of how you finished last year. We really don’t know what new players every team has. We know that we have to go out and show it.”

Talking about the consistency that the softball program has had since he took over ten years ago, he said, “That’s what I told the players. I told them that I feel like they have the makings of a team that can establish a legacy that can be the best team ever.

But, we’re going to have to play all phases of the game. We can’t lean on one phase of the game and expect that to carry us.”

“So I do think we have the potential to do that, but you know it’s all about executing and going out and being able to play against different types of pitchers and different types of teams, and those things. The potential is there. I told them just the other day, that you guys have the makings that you can be conference champs, but you know that there is a great team out there in the conference that has a great pitcher coming back (UCF), and yeah we played them tough, but we have to find a way to win those games, instead of just stay[ing] close in those games.”

Over the weekend the Golden Hurricane won their first three games against Wright State, Hofstra and Penn State by scores of 2–1, 6–3 and 11–4 respectively before falling to tournament host Florida Atlantic 1–0 late Saturday night. Emily Watson, Caitlin Sill and Ellie Reaves all threw complete games in TU’s first three games.

Looking towards the season, Bargfeldt talked about the importance of getting student support.

“Our girls play an exciting brand of softball. They play the game the right way, and any time that the students come out and support us, I know the players and us coaches, I know we really enjoy having the support behind us. So, come on out this spring and watch us, and watch some good softball.”

Football’s 2016 schedule released The football team announced their 2016 schedule which includes a match-up against perennial contender Ohio State.

Wade Crawford Sports Writer

Coming off a bowl-eligible year in 2015, the Tulsa Golden Hurricane football team looks to have a great 2016 as well. However, there is some tough competition standing in the way.

To begin the year, the Golden Hurricane get a visit from out west, as the San Jose State Spartans visit H.A. Chapman Stadium in the first game of the year. Then, Tulsa forgoes the usual opponent of Oklahoma or Oklahoma State to face another top college football team, traveling to Columbus to take on the Ohio State Buckeyes. The Hurricane round out their out-of-conference schedule with a visit from North Carolina A&T (of the lower-division Football Championship Series), followed by a road trip to Fresno State, in Fresno, California.

“We have an exciting non-conference schedule with two west coast teams, one at

Monday

Men’s Tennis @ National Indoors

home, San Jose State and one on the road Fresno State, from a strong conference.

Then you have a traditionally strong Ohio State team on the road and a 10-win team with North Carolina A&T at home,” said Head Coach Philip Montgomery.

“When the preseason rankings come out, I believe Ohio State will be a top-5 team.

They have such an outstanding program with a very strong, talented team playing in the Big 10 Conference plus a great crowd environment that always makes it tough for an opponent in Columbus.”

After the first bye week of the year, Tulsa has home and away games on alternating weeks for the middle six weeks. Home games will be against SMU, Tulane (the homecoming game) and East Carolina, while the away games in between will be against Houston, Memphis and Navy, three of the conference’s top football teams last year. The final two games of the year are a home game against UCF for the second consecutive season, then the final game at home against Cincinnati.

“In conference play we start off with SMU who, in year two with Coach Morris, will be much improved. Then we have to travel to

Tuesday

No Events

Wednesday

Women’s Basketball @ SMU 7:00 p.m.

defending champion Houston, back home for Homecoming against Tulane, then back on the road at Memphis. Once we get into the month of November, we start off with East Carolina and a new coach, and backto-back games at Navy and UCF. Playing consecutive road games is always difficult for the players to bounce back, so that will be a tough stretch.”

It’s interesting that TU doesn’t have either of the big Oklahoma schools as an opponent, but it’s certainly an exciting change to play a historic program such as Ohio State. It’ll also be exciting to see how the Hurricane fare on the road against last year’s top teams (keeping in mind that Memphis and Navy both had their star quarterback graduate).

Obviously, we won’t see how the Golden Hurricane are until they set foot on the field, but the schedule suggests some exciting football matchups next fall.

“We want to make this city proud. We need Tulsans to come out and help us win football games and be a part of what we have going on. We’re going to try to create that brand of football that will keep fans coming back for more,” said Montgomery.

Thursday

Men’s Basketball vs. Cincinatti 8:00 p.m.

The Collegian: 11

Robinson earns weekly award Senior Bryce Robinson earned American Athletic Conference Male Track Athlete of the Week last week, the third time in his career, and second time already this season. Robinson won the men’s 200-meter dash and placed second in the 60-meter dash at the Husker Invitational two weeks ago to earn the honor. His time on 20.63 in the 200-meter not only set a new personal best, but also broke the school record by 0.07 seconds. Robinson now holds the top five times in Tulsa history for the 200-meter dash. It was also the third fastest 200-meter dash in the country so far this season.

Golf has 14th place finish at UTSA The men’s golf team ended the UTSA invitational with a 14th place finish last week, their second tournament of the spring season. Red-shirt freshman Sam Humphreys led the Golden Hurricane with a 27th overall finish, shooting a three-round total of 223. True freshman Jack Knoesel, Preston Crawford and Marc Kepka placed 37th (225), 61st (232) and 77th (232) respectively, while junior Francisco Yanez rounded out the Hurricane with an 82nd (242) place finish. Next up for the men is The Hayt in Florida the last weekend of February.

Grovey sets new record In the Golden Hurricane’s 95–71 win over UCF Saturday afternoon, senior Kelsee Grovey set a new school record for total three-pointers in a career and most three-pointers in a single game. Needing nine to tie the record when she came into the game, Grovey had a career day and made ten three-pointers giving her a total of 223, beating the old record held

by Kara Pongonis-Paslay, and the ten also beat the previous single-game record of seven last done by Carla Morrow in 2002.

Track at two meets The track and field team recorded two second-place finishes at the Iowa State Classic this weekend. Marc Scott finished the 5,000 meter run with a time of 13:37.34 which, while only good for second at the meet, was still the third fastest time in the 5,000 meter run this season and the fastest time at Tulsa this season.

Paul Akintade had a 7.20-meter jump which was the fifth longest jump in the conference this season. Bryce Robinson was at the Don Kirby Invitational where, for the third time this season, he won the 200-meter dash. His time of 20.69 is the second fastest time in the conference just behind his own time set the week earlier.

Women’s tennis beats DePaul The women’s tennis team defeated No. 43 DePaul on Saturday in straight sets.

The Golden Hurricane won the doubles point thanks to a walkover and Mahitha Dadireddy and Saana Saarteinen’s win over DePaul doubles pair Yuliya Shupenia and Milica Tesic. On the singles side Marcelina Cichon and Yelena Nemchen won their match before another DePaul walkover gave TU the fourth point and the win.

: Feb 15–21 Friday

Men’s Tennis vs. Santa Clara 1:00 p.m.

Women’s Tennis vs. TCU 5:00 p.m.

Softball vs. Virginia 10:00 a.m.

Softball vs. North Dakota 12:30 p.m.

Indoor Track @ Arkansas Qualifier

Saturday

Men’s Tennis vs. Oklahoma 5:00 p.m.

Women’s Basketball @ Tulane 1:00 p.m.

Softball vs. Texas A&M Corpus Christi 2:00 p.m.

Softball vs. UTSA 7:00 p.m.

Sunday

Softball vs. UTSA 2:00 p.m.

Women’s Tennis vs. UCF 9:00 a.m.

Men’s Basketball @ UCF 1:00 p.m.

The State-Run Media

15 February 2016

the

State-Run media EVERYTHING NOT IN ALL CAPS SHOULD BE IGNORED.

Literally everyone but you had a fantastic Valentine’s Day

The entire world had a great Valentine’s Day this year. But if you spent this February 14 sitting on the bathroom floor with your cat, a bottle of wine, and a $10 box of chocolates, you’re definitely alone on this one.

Adam Lux He loves you not

Once again the anniversary of some dude dying has come and gone. Hallmark and Ghirardelli are sitting nicely on the fat piles of cash in the wake of a holiday you spent sprawled alone on your couch, eating half-price chocolate out of an ironically heart-shaped container.

On the dreaded V-Day you had gotten the sudden urge to see your ex again. They were a total jerk and you definitely deserve better, but hey there were good times too. Remember that mix CD they made you for your first Valentine’s day together? And your last Valentine’s Day. As you finished up the last chocolate you decided to stalk his/her facebook real quick. I mean, what can a quick look hurt?

Maybe it could even remind you why you’re totally over them.

You pulled up their profile and were instantly bombarded by pictures of them with someone else. It looks like they went ice skating together. You quickly switched back to your newsfeed where you were met with an avalanche of pictures of your friends with their significant others out to dinner, or seeing a movie, or doing whatever gross shit couples do. Even your single

Were you completely alone on Valentine’s Day? If so, you’re the only one.

friends all got together and went laser-tagging. It seems they forgot to invite you.

You began to think about how your Valentine’s Day had gone so far. You woke up and stubbed your toe on the way to the bathroom. It remained swollen and red for the rest of the day. You binge watched

America’s Next Top Model season 8. Your mom sent you a text saying Happy Valentine’s Day, which you didn’t reply to. Then your power went out. You didn’t want to open the fridge so you ordered a pizza.

The order got messed up and you were left with an extra large pepperoni and pineapple. You ate the

graphic by Elias Brinkman

entire thing. You ended the day by looked at cats up for adoption on your phone as your battery slowly died.

But even though you are literally the only person on the planet who didn’t have a great Valentine’s Day, you should buck up. As you wipe the crumpled-up Her-

shey’s Kisses wrappers from your chest and look longingly at that old photo of you and your ex that you have yet to delete from your phone, take solace in the fact that we are all alone in the end. Besides, it’s not like you base your self worth on whether or not you are in a relationship.

Potential graduates to do battle in gladiator-style arena The University of Tulsa’s high job placement rate may not be indicative of a good education, but rather the fact that most students don’t survive graduation.

For years the University of Tulsa has maintained a troublesome secret graduation requirement: survive. The existence of this requirement, called the “Golden OpporTUnities Advancement Course”, was revealed last week

“Roommates had to kill each other, those were the rules. The chemistry students, they snuck in stuff to make improvised explosives.

We just had to keep going until there was only one philosophy major left.”

Through angry tears, our anonymous source accused the University of once again unabashedly favoring the petroleum engineers.

“They knew where everything was,” quivered the graduate, staring blankly into a cup of tea provided by the interviewer. “North Campus was their turf. They owned it. And the companies just kept raining down favors for

by one University of Tulsa graduate whose name has been redacted out of concern for their safety.

“I just couldn’t be silent any more,” the alumnus said in a tearful interview with State-Run reporters, “not after what I saw. Not after what I did.”

Based off this former student’s reports, it appears that TU’s absurdly high job placement rate has been artificially fixed by the administration. Every year for nearly a decade the University has invited representatives from large companies to a Hunger Games-esque free-for-all Death Game. Those who survived graduated, and were all but guaranteed a career in their field.

“North campus was a bloodbath,” said our anonymous source,

them. I made it out thanks to my psychology major,” the student paused, a look coming upon their face like that of a war-grizzled veteran, “Thankfully my classes taught me how people think. Not all majors were so lucky.”

As a result of building pressure from human rights advocates, the university has reportedly begun work to make the games more fair.

According to a university spokesperson, this year they have purchased an abandoned warehouse in north Tulsa in order to provide a more fair playing field. Yet some believe the move can be explained by the sudden drop in demand for petroleum engineers, as well as an over-abundance of potential graduates.

“Look, life is one big death

Steven Buchele There can be only one.

“Look, life is one big death game anyway.”

Students compete in a life-or-death battle for their diplomas.

game anyway,” said Orpah Picket, dean of pre-graduate affairs, “The job market doubly so.” Picket has been in charge of the rite since its

“The winners,” Picket made sure to point out, “are some of the most successful and happy people in the country. They appreciate life

“Thankfully my classes taught me how people think. Not all majors were so lucky.” creation 10 years ago as part of TU’s push to become a top national school. “We’re actually alleviating a lot of pain and suffering by compressing down a lifetime’s worth of rat-races and back-stabbing into ten, maybe twelve hours.”

more than anyone I know. Everyone says they are the most dedicated, hard working, intelligent, successful people they’ve ever hired.

Just like TU students should be.”

Picket scoffed at the idea of discontinuing the ritual gradua-

graphic by Elias Brinkman

tion bloodbath. “We’d only do that,” Picket says, “if we could find something that might be just as, or more, effective than the current system. And while selling brainwashed and systematically programmed graduate-units might appear to be an attractive option, the tests we’re doing on campus show it to be inferior.”

In response to the unveiled secret requirement, Career Services will now be offering survival courses to seniors as well as mock deathbattles during the semesterly job fairs. TU administration has begun looking for sponsors for this year’s Advancement Course and is also considering selling tickets for the event.

15 February 2016

The Collegian: 13

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