14 August 2017

a student newspaper of the university of tulsa

u G

s ’ n a e m g h e s l l e r o F oC t

august 14, 2017 issue 0 ~ volume 103

e id

o d to s g n i th d 4 Fin . 3, n? . pp i ed lsa v o Tu m l Al ound ar

We all need a little help sometimes.

Luckily we’re here. pp. 4, 5

Photos by Adam Lux

The Collegian: 2

The Collegian

14 August 2017

Your guide to TU sports and spirit traditions

There’s a special anxiety that comes along with attending a game and not knowing any of the chants and traditions; this guide should help you avoid that and teach you a bit about TU’s history.

Hannah Kloppenburg Editor-in-Chief Emeritus

What’s in a Name TU’s football team has been known by various names over the years, from the “Yellow Jackets” to the “Kendallites.” Head coach Howard Archer wanted to name the team the “Golden Tornadoes” in 1922, but

learned that Georgia Tech had already laid claim to the name in 1917. As everyone knows, the next best thing to a tornado is a hurricane (even though Oklahoma is landlocked. It’s whatever). Thus, the Golden Hurricane was born.

Captain Cane: Origins Captain Cane began as the mild-mannered Colin Cane, a freshman at The University of Tulsa, who worked in IT support at night to help pay his way through college. Colin was struck by lightning as he attempted to fix a malfunctioning satellite that was broadcasting a live game. He “became entangled in a web of cyber-athletic forces” and mutated over the course of sev-

eral years, eventually becoming the superhuman and super-spirited Captain Cane.

Hurricane Warning One of TU’s most iconic symbols is the red-and-black “hurricane warning” flag.

Student Association handed out red-andblack flags at homecoming 2013 and have done so every year since. Students are encouraged to wave the flags at home games, turning the stands into a sea of red and black.

Hurricane Alley and Tailgating At home games, the Alumni Association, Student Association and various other groups set up tailgating tents at Chapman

Commons — AKA Hurricane Alley. Alumni tailgating often stretches down the street in front of the Reynolds Center as well.

Dress to Impress TU colors (gold, blue, red or TU logo clothing) are a must at sporting events, especially football games. Most people will dress in casual but nice clothing (blouses or sundresses for girls, maybe a polo or nice tshirt for guys) if they’re not wearing jerseys or TU logo shirts.

Sound of the Golden Hurricane No, I’m not talking about roaring winds or pounding rain. I’m talking TU’s marching band. They play during halftime at home games and sometimes travel with the football team. During basketball season, parts of the marching band perform as the in-stands pep band.

Golden Hurricane Spirit Squad The Spirit Squad consists of two separate teams: poms and cheerleading. Besides being ambassadors for the TU community, they’re also responsible for leading cheers and chants, so keep an eye out for that during games.

Songs Both the alma mater and the fight song are played during football and basketball games, so it’s handy to know the words.

The marching band/pep band will play the fight song to get the crowd fired up during games, and singing the alma mater is a spirited post-game tradition.

Alma Mater Hail to thee Alma Mater, Gold and Blue, Praise from thy sons and daughters, Old and new.

Pride in our hearts, Our voices let us raise, Filled with devotion We will sing thy praise.

Alma Mater, now we honor, Loyal, always true, We will lift our voice in chorus.

Hail to Tulsa U! Fight Song Down the field to victory On, Tulsa, on.

Fight on University, Battle on and on.

March to the goal line, oh Tulsa, Score on mounting score.

March to the goal line, oh Tulsa, Let the Hurricane roar.

Drive those (opponent) back and back, On, Tulsa, on!

Gold, Blue, and Red, go right ahead, Down the field to victory!

Graphic by Elias Brinkman

Tulsa Time: getting into the Tulsa sports scene Short, sweet and to the point, this should help you get up to speed with all things sports in Tulsa.

Justin Guglielmetti Sports Editor Let’s say you’re new in town. You’re from Dallas, Kansas City, that place that insists on calling Panera “Bread Co,” maybe even one of the coasts. You grew up a diehard fan of all your local teams and now you’ve sunk into a depressed stupor thinking there’s nothing to sate your sports-viewing appetite in little, old Tulsa.

Well that’s where you’re wrong, anonymous freshman/transfer! Allow me, your friendly neighborhood Bleacher Creature, to take you on an all-expense-paid tour of the thriving sports scene in the OG Oil Capital of the World.

Tulsa Drillers Undoubtedly Tulsa’s most famous popular attraction, the Drillers moved from Lafayette, Louisiana in 1977, replacing the dearly departed Tulsa Oilers as the city’s minor league baseball team.

For the first 25 years of their existence, the Drillers were the AA affiliate of the Texas Rangers, switching over to the Colorado Rockies in 2003. Just two years ago the team changed hands again, this time going to the Los Angeles Dodgers.

But no matter the parent club, the Drillers have always put on a great show and allowed fans to get a prospective look at some of baseball’s brightest stars before they get a crack at the majors.

Notable Drillers alumni include star Blue Jays shortstop Troy Tulowitzki, recently inducted Hall of Fame catcher Ivan “Pudge” Rodriguez, the Great God of Forearms (Matt Holliday) and everyone’s third favorite steroid era slugger, Sammy Sosa.

Looking for the next big name to appear on that list? Keep an eye on 21-year-old

Yadier Alvarez, a beanpole right-hander who somehow throws 100 mph and is ranked by MLB.com as the 51st best prospect in all of baseball.

If the charm of a late-night summer baseball game isn’t enough, perhaps the Drillers’ beautiful downtown stadium, ONEOK Field, will entice you to pay them a visit.

This modern gem of a ballpark is 10 minutes from campus, has accessible parking nearby and boasts a stunning view of Tulsa’s skyline over the right-field bleachers. Oh and best of all tickets start at less than $10, a great deal for us broke college students!

This season the Drillers sit at 29-16, tied with their heated rivals the Springfield Cardinals for the best record in the Texas League. Not quite as dominant as their older brothers in the majors, but not too shabby either. Games continue until early September and will start up again in April.

Tulsa Roughnecks FC “Psh, baseball?” you say incredulously.

“How boring. Give me high scoring games!

Give me non-stop action and excitement!

Give me soccer!!” (I kid the soccer fans out there).

The Roughnecks are Tulsa’s newest professional sports team, only joining the United Soccer League two years ago, a second division league with affiliate clubs in Major League Soccer.

The team’s name is an homage to the original Roughnecks, who played in the now-defunct North American Soccer League during the late 1970s and early ‘80s.

The Roughnecks are affiliated with the Chicago Fire of MLS (which, let’s just stop a minute and appreciate this for a second, is straight heat as far as team names go) and currently sit at 8-9-2 on the season. That’s not a fantastic record but the club finds itself in the eighth and final playoff spot in the USL’s Western Conference as of publication. They will be battling with Phoenix Rising FC, Orange County SC and Rio Grande

Valley FC to maintain that position over the final weeks of the regular season.

Run by the same ownership group that owns the Drillers, the Roughnecks share ONEOK field, converting the baseball diamond into a soccer pitch during their home games. Their seasons run on a similar schedule as well, going from late March to early September.

Tulsa Oilers Never fear, you’ll still have something to do in the winter months. When the winds blow cold and the White Walkers emerge from beyond the Kep to bring everlasting ice to TUsteros, you can find solace in watching the Oilers carve that shit up in the BOK Center downtown.

No, these Oilers aren’t a bunch of washed-up minor league baseball players from the ‘70s goofing off on ice, they’re an honest-to-goodness professional hockey team that plays in the Western Conference of the ECHL. Founded in 1992 as part of the Central Hockey League, the Oilers were one of two teams to play in every season of the CHL before it was dissolved in 2014. They were then approved as an expansion team by the ECHL and since 2015, have been affiliated with the American Hockey League’s Manitoba Moose and the National Hockey League’s Winnipeg Jets.

One of the most successful franchises in the CHL, the Oilers haven’t fared as well in their new league, missing the postseason each of the past two years after earning a spot in the divisional round of the playoffs during their first season.

They’ll look to turn things around in 2017-18 with an almost entirely fresh squad, returning only two faces — defenseman Dennis Brown and wing Christophe Lalancette — who were with the team at the start of last season.

The Oilers also just announced a one year affiliation with the Saint Louis Blues.

Tulsa Shock In between Oilers shifts, stop into the BOK for some high-octane WNBA actio... wait never mind, RIP the Shock. 2010-2015 Golden Hurricane Of course, if you don’t want to frequent any of Tulsa’s professional sporting venues, you’re still in luck. Why is that? Well I don’t know if you’ve heard, but TU happens to have some pretty damn good collegiate teams. We may be one of the smallest and most academically rigorous D1 teams in the nation, but that hasn’t stopped our football team from making two straight bowl games and setting offensive records, men’s soccer from winning three straight American Conference titles, softball earning the conference crown and a national ranking or our track and field programs producing some of the finest runners in the nation.

What’s more, one of the best perks about being a student here is that admission to every sporting event happens to be pretty affordable. Football, soccer, basketball, volleyball, softball, track, rowing, golf, tennis — we’ve got tickets for all of them for as many dollars as the Golden Hurricane is going to lose this year: zero. (Alright, that may be a bit of a hot take, but tickets really are free).

In addition to all those, we have about a hundred different intramurals you can choose to participate in regardless of your skill level, whether you’re a person with a wet jumper and 50” vertical like me (they call me the white Brian Scalabrine) or someone who unironically uses the term “sportsball.”

We’ve got frisbee fanatics on the Old U, tanktop bros playing spikeball on the New U, hell my old editor Matt even told me something about indie professional wrestling like that scene out of the first Tobey Maguire Spider-Man movie. The point is, you’re not going to be bored. Welcome to Hurricane Nation.

14 August 2017

The Collegian

The First Friday Art Crawl: Tulsa’s monthly art experience On the first Friday of every month, artists and art appreciators flock to Tulsa’s Brady Arts District; now it’s your turn to find out why.

Ethan Veenker Variety Editor From 6 to 9 p.m. on Aug. 4, 2017, the Brady Arts District in downtown Tulsa was flush with life and expression. Spanning several blocks was a huge crowd of people and performers, all filing into galleries, streets and bars. The street was full and confusing, people clambered by every which way, music floated out the open back doors and patios of bars and street performers crowded the sidewalk, singing and strumming on guitars or tapping on a djembe. People behind tiny stands sold food, mostly frozen treats and snacks, and a few restaurants had windows open to the sidewalk, selling things like falafels. Marked with shaky boundaries and blocked roads, this was the First Friday Art Crawl.

First Friday is hosted by the Brady Art Arts District Club on the first Friday of every month. It’s a gathering place for local artists and performers that has steadily grown in popularity and attendance since its conception in 2007. Across multiple galleries and venues, artists are able to display and sell their work. Within these galleries, such as the Philbrook Downtown or the Living Arts of Tulsa, is an array of works that range from the visual arts to interpretative dance. Beyond the art galleries are streets speckled with bars and restaurants featuring great food, beer and live performances.

My first impression of August’s First Friday was the difficulty of finding parking. I admit there was at least one well-placed lot with a meager $5 parking fee, but I didn’t have any cash on me and was left to my own devices. While perhaps this was because of my poor logistical decisions, those interested in attending First Friday should at least be aware of the possibility that they could spend fifteen minutes driving around the Brady Arts District looking for a place to park. Once a spot is found, a decent walk should be expected.

Beyond that, though, my experience was rather positive. A good way to sum First Fri-

day up is just saying that it’s fun. You don’t need much else. The artistic displays range from the wacky to the inane to the bizarre to the deeply introspective. One gallery featured a CGI video piece in which you entered a small, dark booth or put on a pair of headphones outside it and listened to the strange, whale-like coos and buzzes that accompanied oily 3D shifting forms. On the sidewalk just outside this gallery was a man playing a drumset he’d arranged from trash.

I won’t say that the uncomfortable CGI forms didn’t impress me, but the guy on the sidewalk got my dollar, and that’s a unique feature of First Friday: there’s a little bit to reach every interest.

It almost feels slice-of-life when you’re sifting through the crowds on the sidewalks. Part of me wondered if other art crawls felt like this, or if other cities were like this every day. Both answers are likely “no,” though First Friday doesn’t necessarily have a patent on the art crawl formula.

It does feel unique, though, if not at least slightly.

In a different gallery I was against a wall, eyeing all the pieces and reading the placards, when suddenly the lights dimmed and a crowd formed behind me. I poked my head in to see what was happening, and before my eyes was an interpretive dance set.

Accompanied with music and performed by six rather talented dancers, it impressed me and deeply moved others; I caught a few teary-eyed members within the crowd. This speaks to the uniqueness I feel at First Friday: not that it’s the only art crawl in the US to feature interpretive dance, but that it’s one of the very few places in Tulsa where one can consume that form of art.

My biggest takeaway from First Friday is that it does a wonderful job of taking Tulsa’s rather dispersed and stretched art scene and locking it into one place, if not at least for a few hours one day a month. It feels like something special, and like something you won’t necessarily experience in other big cities that feature art crawls like this far more often. First Friday feels more like a passion project and a true collection of artists who worked through hell and high waters to get here. And I think that’s pretty cool.

Satiate your caffeine addiction in Tulsa

Tired of getting your morning coffee at Starbucks or McDonald’s? Try these independent locations.

Kayleigh Thesenvitz Editor-in-Chief

The Phoenix - 1302 E 6th St, Tulsa, OK 74120 Self described as a “hip spot with coffee, cocktails and cafe fare, plus late-night hours, free WiFi and used books for sale,” the Phoenix is typically frequented by 25+ year olds that work downtown. Also, parking is a bitch. However, they have lots of seating, a decently large menu, and a good view of the park where you can see all the homeless people who you thought about giving some money to before you bought coffee instead. (currently under renovations) Gypsy Coffee House - 303 M.L.K. Jr Blvd, Tulsa, OK 74103 Gypsy is a great late-night hangout in the Brady Arts District with vegan dishes, WiFi and an open-mic night. The best thing about Gypsy is the quirky warehouse atmosphere.

I also really loved their fall special drinks, which is significantly more varied than pumpkin spice.

Fairfellow Coffee - 1 N Lewis Ave, Tulsa, OK 74110 Located in the Whittier Square Historic District just a few blocks northwest of TU, Fairfellow Coffee is a rather idiosyncratic coffeehouse if there was one. It’s rather large building space isn’t completely utilized; the back of the building is full of what looks like scrap metal or extra building material.

The eating space is roomy and the coffee is good, though, making it a good spot to hang out in the middle of the square.

Shades of Brown Coffee & Art - 3302 S Peoria Ave, Tulsa, OK 74105 Located amongst the many shops and stops of Brookside, Shades of Brown is right on the edge of the commercial section of the street. Between its distinct lighting and homey atmosphere, it can prove to be a

nice stop at the end of your Brookside run.

It features a small selection of art to view, as well as some CDs and crafts for sale.

Chimera Cafe - 212 N Main St, Tulsa, OK 74103 The self-description of “industrial chic” is incredibly accurate. So accurate, in fact, that I can’t really Chimera has a nice variety of coffee, and also a full bar so clearly that is the real reason you would go there.

They serve breakfast and have some vegan fare. They also have gender neutral bathrooms, which is progressive for Oklahoma.

Coffee House on Cherry Street - 1502 E 15th St, Tulsa, OK 74120 Affectionately known as CHOC by the peoples of TU, the Coffee House on Cherry Street is one of those stereotypically quaint coffee houses where all the decor on the walls is for sale. They have a fantastic selection of pastries and you really need to have a Drunken Chipmunk! You can also pick up a copy of the Collegian there.

918 Coffee - 2446 E 11th St, Tulsa, OK 74104 If you don’t have time to go far from campus, 918 is good little rest stop just four blocks from campus on Historic Route 66.

They have tasty sandwiches and decent coffee. They also serve beer.

McFarlin Library Coffee Shop This is the best place to go if you need an afternoon pick-me-up, but don’t want to leave campus. The selection of coffee is small compared to other coffee shops in town, but the selection of hot tea more than makes up for it. And it’s ten times better if you are friends with a Presidential Scholar.

Invest in your own coffee pot Seriously though, we are all poor college students. All you really need to roll out of bed and get yourself to class is a small cup of black coffee. You can buy a coffee pot for $15 at Walmart. Don’t waste your money.

The Collegian: 3

The Collegian: 4

The Collegian

14 August 2017

Tulsa’s music: venues and upcoming shows

Perhaps more important than places to eat and sleep are places where you can see live shows.

We’ve compiled them for you.

Hannah Kloppenburg Editor-in-Chief Emeritus

The Vanguard Conveniently located in the Brady Arts District, the Vanguard is the place to be if you’re a fan of tiny, cozy venues and lesserknown artists. Tickets are usually pretty affordable and it’s a great place to scope out local acts.

The Gypsy Coffee House The Gypsy hosts a Tuesday night open mic (the longest running in Tulsa) that exclusively features original content from local artists. This is a great, all-ages opportunity to see some local talent with the Gypsy’s eclectic decor as a backdrop.

The Yeti and the Fur Shop Both the Yeti and the Fur Shop are bars, so you need to be over 21 to attend shows here. Nevertheless, these are locations you’ll want to keep on your radar if you’re interested in hearing local music.

Brady Theater The Brady Theater is a mid-size venue with amphitheatre-style seating. The building dates back to 1914 and — fun fact — was used as a detention center during the 1921 Tulsa Race Riots. The Brady has the benefits of a smaller venue (i.e. getting up close and personal with the musicians) with the comfort of assigned seating.

Cain’s Ballroom Cain’s Ballroom is exactly what it sounds like — a ballroom (thought it was originally built in 1924 to serve as a garage for W. Tate

Brady’s automobiles). In 1930 it became Cain’s Dance Academy, but fell into disuse until 1976 when Larry Schaeffer purchased the building and reopened it as a music venue. The venue consists of a raised stage and standing room for about 1,800 people. This is my favorite venue in Tulsa, but if you’re short like me, I suggest getting there early and standing a little to either side of the stage. Otherwise, you will NOT be able to see over all the tall people standing in front of you.

Cain’s Ballroom October 8: Mutemath at the Brady Theater October 10: The Head and the Heart at Cain’s Ballroom October 10: Rainbow Kitten Surprise at the Vanguard October 11: Spoon at Cain’s Ballroom October 17: Marilyn Manson at the Brady Theater

BOK Center Since 2008, the BOK Center has been Tulsa’s hub for big-name acts like Ed Sheeran and Paul McCartney. It’s a massive amphitheater which has hosted everything from concerts to sporting events. While pit tickets can often be expensive, tickets for the lowest section of seats are often reasonable (in the $55-$75 range) and offer just as good of a view.

Notable restaurants, shops and stops near TU

Upcoming concerts August 17: Ed Sheeran at the BOK Center August 23: Father John Misty at Cain’s Ballroom August 24: City and Colour at Cain’s Ballroom August 28: Ben Folds at Cain’s Ballroom September 8: Kyle Kinane (Comedian) at Cain’s Ballroom September 9: Eugene Mirman (Comedian) at Cain’s Ballroom September 17: Janet Jackson at the BOK Center September 24: Wilco at the Brady Theater September 25: Two Door Cinema Club at Cain’s Ballroom October 5: Portugal. The Man at Cain’s Ballroom October 6: Explosions in the Sky at

Perhaps not all within walking distance, these locations help form a varied commercial environment in and around the TU area.

Ethan Veenker Variety Editor Calaveras Mexican Grill - 2326 E Admiral Blvd, Tulsa, OK 74110 Located in the middle of the Whittier Square Historic District, Calaveras provides an affordable and authentic Mexican eating experience. From their chips, to their quesadillas, to their horchata, Calaveras hosts an excellent array of foods and drinks. Beyond that, the humble atmosphere coincides nicely with their quaint booths and patio eatery.

Circle Cinema - 10 S Lewis Ave, Tulsa, OK 74104 Circle Cinema is one of Tulsa’s most well-known antiquities — also located in Whittier Square. Circle Cinema is known for screening arthouse and independent films within a theater constructed in 1928.

While it is mostly known for its reverence of the indie and the obscure, Circle Cinema also shows AAA films, though usually in whatever self-described “purist” way that is available (for example, I saw “Dunkirk” in 35mm film there). The theater itself is remarkable and lovably vintage. The food and tickets are cheap (as far as movie tickets and theater food go) and the auditoriums are well-sized with large screens. Perhaps the most appetizing feature of Circle Cinema, though, at least for TU students, is their $2 Tuesdays for those that can display a TU school ID at the front desk.

Pancho Anaya Bakery - 2420 E Admiral Blvd, Tulsa, OK 74110 Continuing with the trend of places in the Whittier Square — it’s wonderfully near TU’s campus — another great spot is Pancho Anaya Bakery. Where Calaveras is a good place for breakfast, lunch and dinner, this bakery down the street is a great stop for a sugary dessert. Featuring sugar donuts, churros, flan, even milkshakes, the Pancho Anaya Bakery provides excellent food at extremely affordable prices.

October 21: The Weeknd at the BOK Center October 26: Judah & The Lion at Cain’s Ballroom November 14: Guns n’ Roses at the BOK Center November 15: Foo Fighters at the BOK Center November 29: Katy Perry at the BOK Center March 21: Lorde at the BOK Center

Tacos Don Francisco - 4008 E 11th St, Tulsa, OK 74112 Tacos Don is known for its extremely authentic Mexican street-tacos. A hole-in-thewall, easy-to-miss place on 11th street, this restaurant is typically open extremely late (4 a.m.) on the Saturday and Friday nights. It features an eclectic selection of meats, such as tongue or cheek, and just generally good food.

Starship Records & Tapes - 1241 S Lewis Ave, Tulsa, OK 74104 The vinyl craze has swept the US lately, and Tulsa is just beginning to pick up. While there’s a few other record stores around town, including a new addition downtown called Spinster Records, Starship is a short drive from TU and features the largest selection of new vinyl amongst all the Tulsa record stores. This is perhaps an unfair assertion given that most of Tulsa’s other record stores sell primarily used records, but it does speak to the great size of Starship’s selection of vinyl, tapes and CDs. The staff is courteous and they’ll all happily talk to you about music; they will also special order and hold items for you if you ask them to. They also sell posters and shirts and a head shop can be found in the back.

Dice Addiction - 4622 E 11th St, Tulsa, OK 74112 There are a few tabletop gaming stores around Tulsa, but Dice Addiction is the one located most conveniently with respect to TU. Perhaps on the outer fringes of how far one would be willing to walk, Dice Addiction is another hole-in-the-wall stop on 11th street. They sell packs of dice and minis, and it’s just a generally nice place for those interested in tabletop gaming to meetup. In addition, they host events on various weekdays, like one-off campaigns being hosted once every week for Dungeons & Dragons beginners and veterans alike.

Tally’s Good Food Cafe - 1102 S Yale Ave, Tulsa, OK 74112 Again located on 11th street, Tally’s ups the ante for the stops and shops along the road, choosing to stand out on the intersection with Yale rather than blend into a strip mall. Perhaps overloaded with 50s memorabilia and interior design choices, Tally’s markets itself as a local favorite and a muststop for those traveling through TU. From its bright neon appearance to its Route 66 aesthetic, Tally’s has attracted the attention of many, including Guy Fieri, host of “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives.”

Sam’s Southern Eatery - 3616 E 11th St, Tulsa, OK 74112 If you want fried food, this is the place to go. Their selection of fried foods is mindboggling, and they dish out great portions for the prices. The selection of southern frood includes fried okra, fried green tomatoes, po’ boy, massive shrimp and a large selection of other food.

Tulsa Fairgrounds - 4145 E 21st St, Tulsa, OK 74112 The Tulsa Fairgrounds occupy most of the space between Harvard and Yale Avenues and 15th and 21st Streets. It’s hard to overstate the Fairgrounds; it’s the location for countless expos and the ever-famous Tulsa State Fair. A fairgrounds is rather selfexplanatory, so our Fairgrounds shouldn’t need much more introduction except for our beloved, 75-foot Golden Driller statue, leaning carefully but assertively on an oil derrick.

RibCrib BBQ & Grill - 1601 S Harvard Ave, Tulsa, OK 74112 Most of you are probably at least vaguely familiar with RibCrib; it’s a barbecue franchise that spans eight states. The unique thing about this location, however, is that it’s the original RibCrib location. For those that are fans of sloppy barbecue and allyou-can-eat ribs, this location can provide a great combination of that familiar cuisine and a historic air.

14 August 2017

The Collegian

The Collegian: 5

Tips from your friendly, neighborhood IT guy A worker at TU’s IT desk is here to solve all the world’s tech-related problems.

Daniel Looper TU Employee

Q: I don’t know how to access my TU Gmail!

A: TU Gmail is not setup by default. Our guide for creating your Gmail account and successfully accessing it is below: This will guide you through creating/accessing your TU Email as well as updating your TU mail routing.

You may need to reset your password to synchronize the two accounts (you may use the same password). You may do this from the TU Portal 1. Open a Web Browser Open your preferred web browser and navigate to: account.utulsa.edu 2. Access Account Settings Select “Account Settings” 3. Login Login using your TUNetID and PW. Please ensure that you “check-mark” the reCAPTCHA box.

4. Email Destination The “Change Email Destination” link will be located near the top of the page within the blue ribbon.

5. Set Mail Routing Please take the time to read through the 3 available Mail Routing options. Students most commonly utilize Gmail while employees will generally use Exchange.

Please not that Option 1 is ONLY utilized in the event that you would like to have your TU email forwarded to a non-TU email.

6. Update Complete!

Once you select your desired routing op-

tion please wait while the update completes.

You will be taken back to your Account Settings page and a green message will be displayed indicating that the update was completed.

Please be aware that this does not forward emails from one account to the other, rather this changes where emails will be delivered moving forward.

--Q: My device cannot connect to the network!

A: Many devices will not work immediately upon arriving on campus with any network other than TUguest. Below is our guide for registering your devices: This guide will instruct you on how to register your device as well as what information to provide in the event that your device is not successfully registered.

1. Open a Web Browser Open the web browser of your choice and navigate to: selfreg.utulsa.edu/self_registration This will need to be done from a machine with network access, such as a lab computer 2. Login Login using your TUNetID and PW. 3. TU Network Registration Center On this page you will see all currently registered devices’ MAC addresses.

Select “Add” and input your device’s MAC address (ensure that you input the correct wireless/wired MAC address).

If the MAC address is on file, remove it and add it back to the system.

4. Approve Device If the device is not flagged as “Approved” select the box next to the desired device and select “Approve.”

Once you have registered the device please wait 15 minutes, restart the device, and attempt to connect to the network.

5. Network Access You have successfully authenticated with the TU network!

6. Failure to Authenticate/Load Page If you are unable to authenticate your device or load the registration page please provide the below information: 1.

Location (building/room) 2.

Contact information (including ID number) 3.

Wireless access point ID (white box on the ceiling in your room)/Wall port ID 4.

MAC (physical) address of your device 5.

Type of device (laptop, desktop, PC, Mac, etc.)

6. Any error messages associated with connecting --Q: How do I get the free Office software?!

A: As students you have access to free downloads of the full Microsoft Office Suite.

This will guide you through downloading the free Microsoft Office software provided by the University to students.

You will need to be an active student to access/download the software.

1. Open a Web Browser Open your perferred web browser and navigate to the below page: office.utulsa.edu 2. Navigate to Download Page If you are not automatically directed to the download page you will need to click on the “Office 365” button near the top-left of the page.

3. Download the Software Select the “Install Office 20xx” button.

This will begin the installation of the software.

4. Microsoft Account When prompted to register the software select “Use and Existing Account.” You will use your primary TU email address .

You have successfully installed the software! Please note that once you leave the University in an active capacity (transfer, graduate, etc.) your license will expire, disallowing access to the software.

You will not lose any of your saved information, just the ability to open them using the installed Microsoft products; this means you will still be able to open/upload the files elsewhere.

--Q: I’ve forgotten my password!

A: This will guide you through resetting a forgotten password.

1. Open Web Browser Open your web browser of choice and navigate to: account.utulsa.edu 2. Change Password Select: Change Password Select: Click here if you don’t know your password 3. Verification Input your 7-digit TU Employee/Student ID number. This may be located on the back of your TU ID card.

Input your last name.

Ensure you select and follow the prompt for the reCAPTCHA 4. Reset Verifcation Please read through the “Instructions” field for more information. A verification code will be sent to (your choice) either your phone or email address.

5. Open the Reset Media Access your selected reset media and follow the included instructions.

The State-Run Media

14 August 2017

the

State-Run media Don’t worry, most people get HPV eventually.

Five icebreaker questions to make your new friends think you’re a serial killer Head Propagandist Adam Lux provides a comprehensive list of icebreakers that suggest you have a murderous past.

Adam Lux Completely innocent man It’s orientation week which means for hundreds of incoming freshman that it’s time to make new friends, everybody’s least favorite thing that’s supposed to be fun. A few things are unavoidable is these tiresome interactions: awkward silences, forgetting peoples’ names and uncomfortable icebreaker questions. The State-Run has kindly provided, for your use, five icebreaker questions that will have your new “friends” wondering if you’ve committed a string of premeditated murders.

1) “What do you think I would look like wearing your face?”

We’re starting off with one of my favorites. Not only will this question let your friends know that you have multiple mutilated bodies stashed in your dorm room, but also that you’re just a wacky person and fun to be around. Your new friends won’t know what you’re going to say next, or who’s going to end up dead.

2) “Do you know what human intestines smell like?”

This is a good question to ask if you’re going for an air of mystery and secrecy. For

best results make sure this is the only thing you say during the conversation. When properly executed this question will leave people wondering if you enjoy casual torture in your spare time, or if you’re just a pre-med student.

3) “Would you rather die from dehydration or thousands of burns from a car cigarette lighter?

This is the kind of icebreaker that lets your new buddies know that you care about their feelings, their desires and their dreams.

This is the fastest way to communicate that you’re a nurturing creature. Slip this question into conversation and flash a genuine smile and soon everyone will know you as “that super nice person.”

4) “Why do you think I enjoy bathing in other people’s blood so much?”

This is the kind of murder-confessional question that really lets everyone know that you’re a straight shooter. Everyone will think “this kid isn’t fucking around.”

I guarantee people will start bringing their deepest problems to you and asking you for advice.

5) “When was the last time that you watched the life drain from someone’s eyes?”

If you want to be known as the artsy-type serial killer, then this is the icebreaker that you want to drop into all conversations. This question is how you get known as the epitome of the manic-pixie-dream-murderer.

Photo of freshman introducing herself to a new group of friends.

courtesy Pxhere

Secret Menus of ACAC State-Run writer Sam Beckmann shares how to order the largely unknown off-menu items at many of ACAC’s restaurants.

Sam Beckmann Never looks at a menu Everyone loves food. And as part of our series of articles welcoming freshman to TU, we thought it worthwhile to point out some of the more exotic and impressive food items available within the university.

Each of the 8 restaurants in ACAC offer a few special items, if you know what to ask for. So without further ado, the State Run staff presents the secret menus of ACAC. Baja Jack’s: Probably the simplest of all secret menu items, this is nonetheless delicious. Simply walk up, wink at the cashier and request your burrito “California style.”

It cost 50 cents more, but comes with free guac, queso, fries, physics answer keys, a sense of self-worth and tuition. You don’t want to pass this secret deal up.

Chick-fil-a: It may sound crazy, but if you know what to do, you can get a chicken sandwich for free. The key to this secret menu item is going in the middle of the lunch rush. Pick up your sandwich as usual,

side salad (egg rolls cost extra). Once you check out, loop back around, but this time enter the pho line. Here, you get Vietnamese pho with everything on it. This technique costs twice as much, but hey, you got both pho and orange chicken, so that’s gotta be worth it.

Tossed: There’s nothing indicating you’re allowed to do it on their ordering sheets, but you can actually order a salad with every single item at Tossed. You wouldn’t think egg, strawberry and goat cheese would go together, and you would be right. Just think of the size of salad you could get though!

Benvenuto’s: Get a large pasta with chicken, mushrooms olives and alfredo sauce. Once you get your food, look around until you spot one of the uncommonly attractive State Run writers walking around.

Hand him or her your pasta. You will be rewarded when the apocalypse comes.

Subway: Ask for that sandwich. You know, that sandwich? The one with the those things on it? Made with that stuff?

Don’t worry, the workers at Subway will know what you mean. Subway, eat fresh.

Eat oh so very fresh.

The Hut: Probably the best kept secret of this entire article, so don’t go around telling people about it. It’ll be our little secret, ok?

Anyway, here goes: The Hut serves beer.

We hope you take advantage of these,

“Anyway, here goes: The Hut serves beer.”

Sam Chott wants you to write for The State-Run.

graphic by Madeline Woods

then look around with a confused look, hold your sandwich out of sight and just walk out without paying. Viola! A free sandwich.

Star Ginger: This restaurant has two lines, one for wok food and another for pho.

To make a really great meal, first go through the wok line, getting orange chicken with a

and all other, secret menu items offered at ACAC. Just remember, freshmen, if it’s not on the menu, just keep telling the employees it actually is on the menu. They’re either kick you out in frustration, or you’ll get your way. It’s gotta be worth a shot.

“New school, new me” says freshman after parasite hijacks her nervous system New student Olivia Mendez is actually being controlled by a parasitic organism and is looking to change up her image in college.

Adam Lux Independent life-form Freshman year of college is an opportunity for students to reinvent themselves. Far away from their homes, their old schools and, most importantly, their reputations, many freshman decide to change themselves in one way or another. Some decide to go by a different name, others decide to change their look, but for incoming freshman Olivia Mendez this change was a bit more drastic.

Mendez, a biology major, was working as

a lab assistant at a community college in her hometown this past summer when she was exposed to an extremely rare parasitic organism. This organism worked its way into her bloodstream and eventually embedded itself in her brain stem where it was able to take control of her body.

“I’m just an average, everyday, carbonbased lifeform like everyone else. I enjoy a good book, hiking and taking control of other species for use as a vessel for existence and reproduction.” said Mendez, or rather the parasite controlling her, in an interview with the State-Run. When asked how we should refer to the being controlling Mendez’s body it replied “You can just call me by my slave’s…. I mean my companion’s name. I’m trying to make this situation as painless as possible

for everyone involved. See I’m a reasonable and benevolent creature.”

The creature also commented on how it is adapting to life in college. “I’m really trying to reinvent my image now that I have a chance to shake off my high school reputation,” stated the parasite, “Apparently I used to be a huge nerd. I mean I played the oboe in the school band. What a dork. I think I’m going to do something different with my hair, maybe a bob. You know, just like, change my image. Cus’ I was just like ‘New school, new me.’ Know what I mean?”

‘Mendez’ also tried to quell fears of noninfected humans. “Listen all we’re trying to do is take control of every member of your species. It’s not like we want to kill you.

Plus the process is completely painless… well for us at least.”

There has been some controversy among the TU administration as to whether they should intervene in Mendez’s situation especially considering it appears other students, and even a faculty member, have also been taken over by parasites.

In this reporter’s opinion, we should just let nature take it’s course. College is a time for self-discovery and experimentation and the administration has no right to insert itself into the personal lives of students. In fact this reporter welcomes our parasite masters.

He says this as a completely autonomous human that totally isn’t being controlled by a parasite or anything.

At press-time Mendez did get a bob haircut and it looks totally awesome.