25 October 2021

a student newspaper of the university of tulsa

October 25, 2021 issue 7 ~ volume 10

TU men’s and women’s basketball looking for good season, p. 2 Alleged drink tampering victim recounts night, p. 4 Sub-par super sleuths in hot water, p. 5 Brave professor declares Wingdings font mandatory in student essays, page 8 Tulsa’s first ever Arab Film Fest a success, p. 9

cover by: Zach Short

The Collegian: 2

Sports

October 25, 2021

Tulsa Basketball looks promising this year Sports writer Daryl Turner says this looks to be a fantastic season for our basketball players.

Tulsa basketball is steadily getting closer and closer, and as the season comes nearer the anticipation becomes greater amongst the players, coaches and fans themselves.

Tulsa men’s basketball team is coming off a pretty good year after going 13-5 in conference games and going 21-10 overall. This landed them second behind Houston in the American Athletic Conference. However, they sadly did not do well enough to make it to the NCAA Tournament.

Now, in the 2021 season, it seems the team has somewhat of a new look. Players like Elijah Joiner, Brandon Rachal, Emmanuel Ogboh and more have left either through transfer or graduation, giving room for more newly acquired transfers like Sam Griffin, Ladavius Draine, Nikita Konstantynovskyi and Tim Dalger to make a name for themselves. Hopefully, coach Frank Haith can get this team to work together and flow as a unit, so they get to the NCAA tournament this year.

When asked what his predictions for the team this season were,one of the newest transfers, Sam Griffin, a 6’3 guard coming from UTSA,answered, “Hopefully when it’s all said and done, we finish the season above

20 wins and below 5 losses .“ That sounds like a team that’s ready to win a lot of games this season and all the Tulsa basketball fans and supporters are totally ready for it.

The men’s first game is on Nov. 3 at our very own Reynolds Center against Northeastern State. Come and have your popcorn ready, because this year’s men’s basketball team is going to come out of the gate on fire!

Now, while the men get ready to begin their quest to a excellent season, the women’s basketball team gets ready to rock and roll with their new head coach, Angie Nelp. Nelp previously coached as an assistant coach at Arizona State for three years and then was promoted to associate head coach in her fourth. Coaching with ASU’s head coach, Charli Turner Thorne, they led the ASU women’s basketball program to a couple of very good seasons. Hopefully, with coach Nelp’s experience on very good teams, she can prove to be beneficial to getting Tulsa women’s basketball to their own NCAA Tournament. For the women, there are a lot of returning players, as well as some very impressive freshmen, that could make a solid impact if given the chance.

courtesy @thesunshineslam on Twitter

One returning key contributor that will definitely look to come to play this season is Maya Mayberry, a 5-8 guard with a quick first step and a very nice jumper. Mayberry averaged 14.3 points per game last year and along with that she had 23 steals. Tulsa’s women’s basketball team is sure to be on the rise with the addition of coach Nelp along with the stepping up of returners like Maya

Mayberry and others. The women will look to play against Duquesne on Nov. 11 and the game will be here on campus at the Reynolds Center. Tune in, because we’re going to see the beginning of what may turn out to be one of the best coaching careers here at Tulsa University.

Dusty Baker responds to sign-stealing allegations

Sports analyst Callie Hummel discusses the resurgence of allegations against the Houston Astros.

courtesy @DannyVietti on Twitter

The Houston Astros, a team commonly known for their sign stealing scandal that recently came to the surface in January 2020, is in the news again—livid that the White Sox would accuse them of sign stealing.

While sign stealing is not technically against the rules of Major League Baseball, it is highly frowned upon, especially when high class technology is used. The Astros used such technology in their 2017 postseason play, the year they won the World Series against the Los Angeles Dodgers.

Mike Fiers, a pitcher who played for the Astros in 2017, came forward saying that the team used a telephoto lens sitting in the stands behind center field to send live video feed of the catcher’s signs to the coaches who would then alert their batters of the next pitch.

The baseball world was naturally furious with the team. If batters know exactly which pitch is coming as they step up to the plate, there is no longer a reason for pitchers and catchers to spend such large amounts of time learning signs that change with every game they play, although the different pitches themselves may throw off a batter from a technical standpoint.

This sign stealing strategy could only be executed when the Astros played at home however, resulting in suspicious scores and weird patterns in their wins and losses.

These patterns were what originally sent red flags to the MLB community, who had been hinting at a possibility of sign stealing years before Fiers came forward. For example, in 2017, the Astros beat the New York Yankees by two runs every time they played at home, and lost by five runs on average at every away game. While teams are more comfortable playing in their own city and on their own field, the Astro’s took “home field advantage” to a whole new level.

In the 2021 season, the Astros finished up a series against the Chicago White Sox and went on to beat the Boston Red Sox in the American League Championship series.

Now, the Astros are heading into their third World Series in the past 5 Major League seasons.

The third game of the series was played in Chicago and the White Sox ended up winning 16-6. In a post-game interview, Ryan Tepera, a pitcher for the White Sox, commented that he wouldn’t be surprised if the Astros were still sign stealing given the difference in scores and “the swings and misses tonight compared to the first two games at Minute Maid.”

While the overarching ‘Astros’ are known for sign stealing, after the scandal came to the surface the team fired its general manager and manager who had allowed the cheating to happen. The team also had a $5 million fine, lost four of their high draft picks and made the baseball community go on high alert against them, so it’s unlikely to say the Astros would go back to stealing signs just one season after they were caught.

The new team manager, Dusty Baker, replied to the comment by Tepera saying that what he was accusing of the team were, “heavy accusations.” However, they were the same ‘heavy accusations’ brought upon the team in January of 2020 that came out as true.

As the team moves past the league championships, there will undoubtedly be many eyes on them during the World Series this year. However, it is possible that if they are continuing to use a different strategy to steal signs, we will not know until years later when someone else comes forward.

The MLB Playoffs continue to excite Sports Analyst Tommy Reid discusses both American and National League standings.

With the regular MLB season ended, it is now time for some postseason action. Both the wild card games as well as the division series have been completed.

The Playoffs began with the Wild Card Games. The Boston Red Sox played the New York Yankees on Oct. 5. Led by home runs by Xander Bogaerts and Kyle Schwarber, the Red Sox won that game by a score of 6-2. The next day, the Los Angeles Dodgers played the St. Louis Cardinals. The game was tied at one run each in the bottom of the ninth when Chris Taylor hit a two-run home run giving the Dodgers the 3-1 win and moving them to the next round of the Playoffs.

Division Series: American League (1) Tampa Bay Rays vs (4) Boston Red Sox – The series between the Rays and the Red Sox began on Oct. 7 with a 5-0 Tampa Bay win. The next day, the Red Sox won their first game by a score of 14-6. After taking a day break to travel to Boston, the Red Sox won game three by a score of 6-4.

On Oct. 10, the Red Sox won the series in a thrilling 6-4 13 inning game. They advanced to the ALCS to play the Houston Astros.

(2) Houston Astros vs (3) Chicago White Sox – The Astros began their series against the White Sox at home on Oct. 7 with a 6-1 win. The next day they won again this time by a score of 9-4. The following day was a travel day to transition the series to Chicago where the White Sox won game three the day after by a score of 12-6. However, the Astros won game four two days later 10-1.

courtesy @MLBGaming on Twitter

They moved along to the ALCS to play the Boston Red Sox. Division Series: National League (1) San Francisco Giants vs (4) Los Angeles Dodgers – On Oct. 8, the Giants won game one against the Dodgers 4-0. The next day the Dodgers responded with a 9-2 win.

The following day was for travel, but after the series shifted to Los Angeles, the Giants won their second game this time by a score of 1-0. The next day the Dodgers tied the series at two games each with a 7-2 win. The day after that, the Dodgers won the series with a 2-1 win putting them in the NCLS. (2) Milwaukee Brewers vs (3) Atlanta Braves – In game one on Oct. 8, the Brew-

ers beat the Braves 2-1. In game two, the Braves responded with a 3-0 win. Once the series shifted to Atlanta, the Braves won game three again by a score of 3-0. The next day, the Braves won the series with a 5-4 win. They advanced to the NLCS to play the Los Angeles Dodgers.

League Championship Series: American League (2) Houston Astros vs (4) Boston Red Sox – The first game of the American League Championship Series (ALCS) between the Houston Astros and the Boston Red Sox took place on Oct. 15, and the Astros won this game 5-4. The next night in game two the Red Sox tied the series with

a 9-5 win. After a day of travel to Boston, the Red Sox won game three by a score of 12-3. The Astros responded in game four with a 9-2 win to tie the series at two wins each. In game five the Astros won the game by a commanding 9-1 putting them one win away from the World Series. After a travel day to return to Houston, the Astros won game 6 by a score of 5-0 giving them a spot in the 2021 World Series.

League Championship Series: National League (3) Atlanta Braves vs (4) Los Angeles Dodgers – The Atlanta Braves and the Los Angeles Dodgers began their series on Oct. 16 with a 3-2 win by the Braves giving them a 1-0 series lead. The next day the Braves won yet again, this time by a score of 5-4 ,giving them a 2-0 series lead. After a travel day, the Dodgers responded with a 6-5 home win bringing them within one game of the Braves. However, the next night the Braves won 9-2 putting them within one win of the World Series. The Dodgers won the next night 11-2 showing that they were still intent on winning the series. However, after returning back to Atlanta after a travel day, the Braves won the series with 4-2 game 6 win advancing them to the 2021 World Series.

The 2021 World Series between the Atlanta Braves and the Houston Astros will begin on Tuesday, October 26 in Houston, Texas with first pitch scheduled for 7:09 pm.

Sports

October 25, 2021

The Collegian: 3

Zinnhardt kicks winning goal against Temple

Sports analyst Callie Hummel discusses last week’s game against Temple and Zinnhardt being the AAC defensive player of the week.

Til Zinnhardt, a junior defender on the Tulsa men’s soccer team, is currently the American Athletic Conference defensive player of the week. His defensive presence on the field has kept the team at only nine allowed goals in the 11 games played; however, Zinnhardt has proven himself to also be more than a defensive player with the events in the game against Temple on Oct. 16.

In the 60th minute with the score tied 1-1, Zinnhardt headed the ball into the back of Temple’s net for the game winning goal off a corner kick by Tom Protzek. This was Zinnhardt’s first collegiate goal as he’s usually back farther on the defensive line. However, his defensive capabilities were also put to use against Temple as they only got three shots on goal.

After a close 3-2 loss to University of Central Florida Oct. 10, Tulsa had five days before playing their next important game

against Temple. The first half went by with no goals, as Temple was playing a predominately defensive game. However, just three minutes after the second half started, a Temple defender fouled Alex Meinhard to the left of the goal right inside the 18-yard box, resulting in a yellow card and penalty kick.

While Temple disputed the call, saying the foul happened outside of the box and wanting an indirect kick instead, Tulsa was lined up and waiting for the ref to blow the whistle on the penalty kick. Meinhard promptly scored the penalty, putting Tulsa up 1-0.

Just two minutes after the successful penalty kick, a Temple offender took a shot from outside the 18-yard box and put the ball in the corner of the goal. With the game tied 1-1, the minutes continued to tick by without any advances.

The game was getting increasingly rougher as the time went on, from fights

breaking out between the teams to numerous yellow cards given out to the Temple team. There were continuous post-play hits, a player hitting into their opponent after the ball had been paced to someone else and the ref’s back was turned.

A key player in the victory against Temple was defender Mitchell Cashion. He played on the left wing and continuously transitioned the ball from defense to forwards to give the offense scoring opportunities. The ball stayed predominately on the left side of the field the entire game because of his strong passes and runs.

In the 60th minute, the ball ricocheted off a Temple defender out of bounds on the goal line, giving Tulsa a corner kick. On most of their previous corner kicks, an offensive player would run in to get the short ball and perform a give-and-go with the original kicker. As Meinhard ran in for the

short pass, the defense followed him, but the kicker Protzek sent the ball into the air right into the middle of the box. Zinnhardt, posted directly in the middle, sent the ball to the left side of the net past the Temple goalie.

The team was undeniably happy for Zinnhardt, who immediately ran over to celebrate with Protzek for his perfectly placed corner kick.

Zinnhardt’s goal ended up being the game winner and he and other defenders held off Temple for the final 30 minutes of the game.

Tulsa now has a 11-1 overall record and has a 6-1 conference record, as they went on to win against Memphis on Oct. 22 5-0, who they had previously defeated 1-0. Now, the team will play SMU again in Dallas on Oct. 27, and we’ll see if they can continue this success.

photos by Callie Hummel

Oct. 25 - Oct. 31 Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday 26

25

Thursday

Friday 29

28

27

Saturday

none

M Soccer @ SMU 7:00 p.m.

W Soccer Houston 7:00 p.m.

Volleyball @ UCF 6:00 p.m.

Football Navy 7:00 p.m.

31

30

Cross Country @ Tampa All Day Tennis ITA Regionals All Day

Sunday

W Soccer AAC Championship TBA

none

Volleyball @ South Florida 12:00 p.m.

M Soccer @ Temple 6:00 p.m.

The Collegian: 4

News

25 October 2021

Victim of alleged drink tampering recounts events

The victim expressed frustration with TU’s lack of action in response to the allegations.

Anna Johns Satire Editor A petition circulated campus last week pleading for TU to act against fraternity Sigma Nu following allegations that they had been tampering with drinks at their party on Sept. 25. So far, only one victim has reported their drink being tampered with to Campus Security, who is still investigating the situation. This victim, a freshman involved in Greek life, wishes to remain anonymous. They recount their experience the night of their suspected drugging and their subsequent interactions with TU during the investigation.

Sept. 25 was a game day, and the victim had been hanging out with their sorority sisters. At 10:30 p.m., they started their night at Sigma Nu, where they noticed “a bad vibe once [they] got there.”

They assumed Sigma Nu registered their party, so they made sure they had their student ID. However, outside the door, they noted the lack of Campus Security, who usually stands outside of fraternities for registered parties and checks student IDs for partygoers’ age. If someone entering a party is under 21, they receive a wristband.

The fraternity had posted flyers advertising this party, so the victim and their friends assumed the party would have an officer that had checked on everyone inside.

“I would feel safe going to the frat if there was an officer, but there wasn’t one,” the victim says.

Instead of Campus Security, the victim reports only a few assumed fraternity members at the entrance. One member was on a laptop, another checked IDs and several sat on the porch.

Inside the fraternity, the victim recalls a sizable crowd. “There were probably, like, 50 or 60 on the dancefloor and 20 people in the hall waiting,” they recount. “Everyone was hammered. Even at the beginning of the night, people were hammered.”

Because “the vibe felt very off,” the victim and their sorority sisters stayed for an hour, and they had only one drink. At 11:15 p.m., the victim left Sigma Nu and went to Kappa Alpha, where they drank half of their

sorority sister’s beer. Then, at midnight, they returned to Sigma Nu and sipped a drink they opened. At first, the drink tasted as expected, but when they drank it later, they “realized as soon as [they] took a sip that something was wrong.”

“I had a very bad feeling,” they report. “I made all of my sisters leave, throw out their drinks and take me to the steps of another frat so that my brother could take care of me.”

They opened the drink for themselves, did not set it down and did not allow anyone else to touch it. “I think what happened is that I was dancing with one of my sisters, and I had my arm and my drink around her back so I couldn’t see [my drink],” they say.

“That’s the only time I could imagine that someone could put something in it, unless it was tampered with before I opened it.”

The suspected tampered drink was a Truly, a hard seltzer that contains 5% ABV (Alcohol by Volume). This amount of alcohol is the equivalent of drinking a beer, but within 30 minutes, the victim reports they felt “blackout drunk.” Studies suggest the effects of Rohypnol onset within 15 to 20 minutes. Gamma Hydroxybutyrate (GHB) can take 15 minutes to feel the impact, and the effects of Ketamine, a date-rape drug growing in popularity, start very quickly, sometimes within a minute after ingestion.

“... the victim believes the campus has not offered adequate accountability.”

The victim and their friends left the party around 12:30 a.m. with no further incident.

Their brother, a senior at TU, took care of them for the rest of the night.

In summary, the victim had one drink from Sigma Nu at 10:30 p.m, they left at 11:15 p.m. for Kappa Alpha, where they drank half of a beer, and around 12:00 a.m., they returned to Sigma Nu and opened a can of Truly, which tasted fine at first. After dancing with a sorority sister and sipping their Truly, they could taste a difference in the drink, started feeling “blackout drunk” and were helped out of Sigma Nu by their sorority sisters at approximately 12:30 a.m.

The next day, Sept. 26, the victim and their brother reported the suspected drink tampering to Campus Security. The victim claims the officer told them that he would

Global supply chain crisis causes increase in prices and shortages Cargo ships and trucks have been slowed or halted by the ongoing logistics jam.

Callie Hummel Student Writer The news recently has been littered with pictures of cargo ships waiting outside of major ports all across the world, unable to dock and unload their items. While this has been a widespread media-covered story lately, given the backups could mean problems getting Christmas presents and other holiday items, it has been going on since March 2020.

At the beginning of the pandemic, stores and companies across the world expected to suffer an excess in production, so companies cut their supplies in half to match the expected consumer demand so they wouldn’t lose money on unused products.

However, with everyone working, living and raising their children solely out of their homes, the complete opposite effect than what companies had predicted happened.

People were now building school rooms, offices and gyms in their homes—ordering all of the supplies online.

Since the models that companies had created to predict the consumer demand had been horribly wrong, they had to scramble to get the materials they needed to meet the new demand. This could be seen in spring and summer of 2020 when it was impossible to get any kind of exercise equipment, and home office furniture almost doubled in price.

Although big companies needed shipment containers to fulfill their orders, bigger export countries were working constantly to get out personal protective equipment (PPE) to every country in the world, even those that didn’t have anything to trade with. Shipping containers were sitting, and do continue to sit, empty in countries that don’t have any exports to send back in the container to Asia, the biggest supplier of PPE. However, without the shipping containers, there is no way for the United States’ big manufacturers in China to get the items to us. Since the demand is so high and supply is so low on a majority of items, prices continue to increase, and as those prices increase companies and manufacturers are more motivated to get their shipping containers back to prof-

be in contact by Thursday (Sept. 30). However, two weeks came by, and the victim had not heard anything regarding their report.

“It took me going into Campus Security’s office and making a scene to even talk to an officer about checking on my report,” the victim complains. “They basically told me, ‘We’re not going to be able to do anything else until you make a full police report.’”

In general, the victim believes the campus has not offered adequate accountability.

They and their brother emailed the Interim Dean of Students, Michael McClendon, on Sept. 27. They did not receive a response and emailed again on Oct. 28 and 29. They and 20 of their sorority sisters supposedly sent emails. In these emails, they pleaded for action, inquiring why the university had not done anything regarding these reports— and despite this onslaught of messages, they did not receive a response.

“It took us emailing Brad Carson about it to hear anything on campus, and all we heard was ‘I’ll look into it,’” they say.

Following their email to Carson, the victim met with the Associate Dean of Students and the Title IX Coordinator. After the victim described their experience, the officials they met with “basically said that [the victim] didn’t have enough evidence to do anything, and once [they] made a police report something might happen.”

it off the new market prices. So empty shipping containers are being shipped back to the major manufacturing countries, which is part of the reason for the backups at the ports. Not all the cargo ships depicted in the news are even carrying materials in them, some are still empty and just trying to pick up their new shipments.

The Biden Administration is working to keep the ports open 24/7; however, the supply chain is all interconnected, so the act won’t necessarily help the problem unless all ends of the process are working at the same 24/7 rate. The warehouses at these ports aren’t empty either, just like the bays the ships are waiting in, the warehouses are full of packages. However, the pandemic did nothing but speed up the steady decline of truck drivers, so once items get to the port the shortage of workers is keeping the items from moving farther.

The final quarter of the year always hits a high on consumerism because of the holidays. While it’s already a stressful time for companies, the problems within the supply chain have made the months leading up to it even more frantic. There are only certain months out of the year where one can sell Christmas decorations, and it’s looking like many companies have a large supply of those stuck on boats waiting in the Los Angeles or Savannah ports and those companies will lose a lot of money. They will either have to figure out how to store these items until next year or sell them at discounted prices.

Larger companies are finding ways around the stoppage though, as Home Depot chartered their own ship to pick up their supplies. This works because the chartered ships are significantly smaller, which allows them to pick up the containers and dock in a smaller port that the large cargo ships can’t.

However, this is much more expensive, and smaller companies don’t have the money to spend on privately chartered ships. Small companies will not be able to get their full shipments and will also have to increase prices on the items they do have since their supplies will be so low.

While some are hopeful that the supply chain issues will clear up in the coming months, it will likely take much longer to rectify such a large-scale, global problem.

Each step in the manufacturing and supply process will need to be reworked to get the whole process running smoothly again, which could take years.

Though the university expressed regret toward the situation, the victim realizes the reality of their position: “One person coming forward with not enough evidence isn’t going to make anything happen. I’ve met with three other victims from that night.

I know there are more victims. . . but you can’t force someone to report. You can only talk to them so much.”

“TU set me up with a Title IX counselor—that’s the only true support they’ve given me, and she’s been amazing,” the victim says. “Our counseling services are really good, and that’s the only thing I’ve found helpful.”

“During [orientation week], you’re told all the help available: here’s all of our services, and here’s an app,” the victim continues. “But when you get down to it, I was in trouble. I needed help, and they didn’t help me. They haven’t been helping me.”

“It’s good they have these services, but unless you use them and actively help your students, you’re not a helpful university.

You’re not keeping them safe. You’re just doing enough to make you look good.”

The victim’s brother told them about the Sarah Marshall case that occurred over the summer. Two years ago, Sarah Marshall experienced sexual assault at one of the frat houses. She reported the incident to Campus Security, met with the university’s officials and spread her story on social media about the lack of action coming from TU. In her account to Channel 8, her assaulter’s penalty was a consent workshop, online trainings and community service. Months later, she says the school told her he did not complete the online training, and despite her pushing for a progress report, she received no more information. The pattern seems to continue: like the victim who reported the alleged drink tampering, Marshall, too, felt ignored and her mental and physical safety neglected by the university.

The victim says the other frats have been supportive. “A few guys from [Lambda Chi Alpha] told me they want to help because they knew the university isn’t going to do anything,” the victim remembers. “Kappa Sigmas have been amazing—they’ve fought for me. The frats themselves have been more helpful than the university.”

The University of Tulsa is not the only school experiencing drink tampering allegations against Sigma Nu. The University of Southern California’s Sigma Nu fraternity suspended its chapter president following the report of six students who were drugged at a party. As a response to victim reports and a potential sexual assault, USC’s Department of Public Safety has furthermore placed the fraternity on interim suspension, and their Sigma Nu chapter is currently not permitted to host activities.

“It’s really scary we have to worry about [drink tampering] now,” the victim of drink tampering at the University of Tulsa says.

“We should’ve been worried before.”

The victim offers advice to future partygoers and further emphasizes going with a group of friends. “The only reason I made it out of [Sigma Nu] is because my sisters were looking out for me,” they say. Their sorority sisters paid attention to their surroundings and noticed the victim seemed “off.”

If anyone feels uncomfortable in a situation, leaving and trusting any suspicions is imperative, according to the victim. Having familiarity with the layout of a fraternity house is also essential: “Don’t go in if you don’t know your way out,” the victim advises.

“We can’t stop people from drugging us, but we can stop people from taking advantage of us,” the victim says. “We can be there for each other and help each other.”

“I did everything right,” they continue. “I did what I was trained to do because [drink tampering] has happened to me before. If it was someone else, I don’t know what the consequences would’ve been.”

The victim made a police report on Oct. 14, and they are waiting to receive their case number. They have not received an update from the Tulsa Police Department.

The Collegian reached out again for a comment from Sigma Nu regarding these allegations and received no response. Sigma Nu has an open invitation from The Collegian to write an article or offer a statement on their behalf.

If any victims of drink tampering or any other misconduct wish to report their experiences, the University of Tulsa directs them to the Title IX office, the Dean of Students or Campus Security so that any allegations may be investigated fully.

Pauli Younger (Kelly) Survivor Advocate 918-631-2965 tuadvocate@utulsa.edu Kathleen Smith TIX Coordinator 918-631-2321 titleix@utulsa.edu Michael McClendon Interim Dean of Students 918-631-2742 dean-of-students@utulsa.edu Campus Security 918-631-5555

Sigma Nu has not responded to multiple requests for comment.

photo by Anna Johns

Correction In last week’s issue, The Collegian incorrectly stated that multiple people reported having drinks tampered with at Sigma Nu on Sept. 25. While the victim we spoke with indicated that other individuals had come to them with similar stories, only one report has been filed with Campus Security and/or Tulsa Police Department about this night.

October 25, 2021

Commentary

The Collegian: 5

Maryland couple selling nuclear secrets fails miserably

A Maryland couple unknowingly sold nuclear secrets to an undercover FBI agent posing as a foreign power.

Shelby Hiens Student Writer Oftentimes we see spies in movies taping flash drives underneath park benches or leaving burner phones in paper bags to make handoffs. Jonathan and Diana Toebbe took this to a whole other level as they began selling government documents about nuclear submarines to what they believed was a foreign country.

The couple had lived an innocent suburban life in Annapolis, Maryland with their two children before their poor attempt at spycraft. Jonathan Toebbe had access to restricted information through his nuclear engineering position in the Navy and possessed national security clearance via the Department of Defense. Diana Toebbe, a humanities teacher at Key School in An-

napolis conspired with her husband to sell restricted data on nuclear reactors and other sensitive information about American submarines.

In April 2020, the Toebbes contacted a foreign country and sent a sample of the restricted information they could provide in hopes of entering a deal where they exchanged government secrets for cryptocurrency. The foreign country, however, immediately contacted the U.S. government with knowledge that someone was attempting to sell said secrets. The foreign government turned over the restricted documents and helped to cultivate a trusting relationship between the FBI operative and the Toebbes.

The foreign government is not listed in the court documents, although it is reasonable to believe they are a U.S. ally considering their full cooperation with our government to root out the criminals.

For over a year, the seemingly innocuous couple allegedly sent thousands of restricted government documents to their FBI handler, receiving large sums of cryptocurrency in return. The reported amount totalled to roughly $100,000. They hid small data cards in laughable objects like half a peanut butter sandwich, a Band-Aid wrapper and a pack of gum, completely oblivious to the fact their scheme had been foiled from the start. The FBI continued to build their case against the third-rate spies until Oct. 9 as the Toebbes were traveling to the predetermined drop off point in West Virginia. The FBI arrested them that morning.

The Toebbes are charged with violating the Atomic Energy Act and committing espionage. The Atomic Energy Act prohibits the disclosure of information associated

with atomic and nuclear weapons. If the couple is found guilty, they could be sentenced to life in prison.

Neither James Bond reject was granted bail or release on bond as they are considered flight risks. The FBI reported finding a

The motive for this pathetic espionage remains unclear. The couple hadn’t been severely wronged by the U.S. and seemed to be living a good, ordinary life. Whether they believed they could outsmart the government, get rich or simply wanted to spice up

“Neither James Bond reject was granted bail or release on bond as they are considered flight risks.” go-bag packed for travel in their home with passports, cash and a cryptocurrency wallet.

It was obvious they had planned on escaping with their children if things went awry.

Perhaps if this had been a spy movie, they would have succeeded. The lame effort put forth by the Toebbes did not allow for such success and led to their downfall instead.

their perfectly ordinary lives, the Toebbes’ efforts destroyed their family. They will now have the privilege of watching their young children grow up from behind bars, as it is almost inevitable that both parents will be doing time.

courtesy Wikimedia Commons The USS Nautilus, picture above, was the first nuclear-powered submarine, as well as the first submarine to transit the Antarctic submerged.

Yelp reviewing the Allen Chapman Student Union restaurants expect to get everything you want if you’re going towards the end of the day. Rate: 3/5

Writer Shelby Hiens provides candid reviews of every eatery inside the Allen Chapman Student Union.

Shelby Hiens Student Writer Pat Case in the Union With the Pat Case, it’s always hit or miss. The breakfasts are marginally better than the lunches or dinners they offer. and For either meal, it’s always a good idea to show up within the first half-hour while the food is still hot. If you’re unlucky enough to show up right before closing, expect cool food and no dessert. They offer a limited selection of fruits, veggies, proteins and sides in the buffet style lineup. If you can name at least half the food in the trays, you came on a good day. Unless, of course, you’re vegetarian or vegan and you can’t eat most of the options presented anyway. The best features of the Pat Case are the lovely staff, the late hours and the self-serve dessert station where you can basically grab as many cakes as you want. Rate: 2/5 If you’re still trying to figure out where the menu is posted, check out Bite by Sodexo - Universities in the app store.

SOL Tex-Mex If you’re in the mood for comfort food, get the nachos. You can’t go wrong with the steak or chicken. The pork is soggy and the ground beef has an odd taste. There’s a veggie base for my vegetarian and vegan friends and when I’m watching out for carbs, the salad bowl is my go- to, followed up by the tacos when I’ve had a particularly gruelling day in Kep. There’s plenty of toppings to keep things interesting, but don’t

Benvenuto Cuccina Italiana The pasta is delicious and with the meal trade you certainly get a bang for your buck.

It’s always hot and fresh since it’s literally being cooked in front of you. I always go with the sun driedsundried tomato sauce with pesto and enough pepper to make my eyes water. For those with dietary restrictions, they offer gluten free and wheat penne in addition to the regular. Rate: 5/5 Tulsa Burgers & Wings Co. This new addition to the Student Union has not gone unnoticed. My typical choice is the cheeseburger, which is cooked to perfection most of the time. The fries range from mediocre to exceptional depending on the day and who’s cooking them. When the fries are dark and crisp, that’s my cque to get in line. The chicken wings come in several different flavors, with cauliflower substitutes for those who prefer it. Unfortunately they package all the toppings together in . one container, which is quite a waste for someone like me who only likes the pickles and lettuce., I always disposeing of the tomato and onions and every time. Ccontending with soggy lettuce from all the tomato juice is particularly annoying. However, all may be forgiven with the new shakes and smoothies blending bar. Rate: 5/5 Chick-Fil-A Chick-Fil-A is timeless, but the location in the Student Union falls below average.

The menu is extremely limited and while the items they do offer are good, they can get old very quickly,. Not to mention thatAlso, fries are the only vegan/vegetarian option. The staff works hard, but no matter how hard they try, the line is never ending and frequently gets backed up for several minutes at a time. There is nothing new or exceptional, but at least it’s consistent. Rate: 3/5 Einstein Bros. Bagels Every morning I see tons of baggy-eyed, sleep deprived students lining up to get their

fill of bagels and caffeine. The staff works efficiently to take care of every one of us.

As it turns out, bagels and Caribou Coolers are the perfect way to start off your funfilled day of midterms. There are plenty of tasty pastries to pick from and quite a few overpriced breakfast sandwiches and wraps available. Don’t waste your time on the pizza bagel or the hot chocolate. Rate: 5/5

Subway While my two subs of choice are the steak and cheese and spicy italian, I’ve found that Subway often runs out of meatballs early in the evening and the chicken is never cooked properly, even when toasted. Otherwise, the other selections for protein and topping look and taste great. The newly introduced Baja Steak & Jack sub hit the mark, and it’s nice to see something new added to the menu.

The sStaff works hard, but always check your receipt. Sleep deprived staff accidentally charged me $79 for a foot long. Rate: 4/5

tucollegian@tucollegian.com editor in chief

Piper Prolago managing editor

Zach Short news editor

Justin Klopfer sports editor

Logan Guthrie variety editor

Julianne Tran commentary editor

Adam Walsh satire editor

Anna Johns photo & graphics editor

Amy Polovich

business & advertising manager

Madeleine Goodman social media & web manager

Maddie Walters copy editor

Ji Aldada photo by Adam Walsh Between Hardesty and Keplinger halls, the Allen Chapment Student Union, otherwise known as ACSU, houses a variety of restaurants and a convenience store to keep students reasonably well-fed.

Sushi Blu The sushi here is consistently excellent.

There are quite a few different selections to choose from, however, not as many qualify for the meal trade as last semester which is disappointing. Only three types that I’ve seen fall on or below the $8.99 benchmark, meaning students like me trying to use up all their meal swipes for the week will be sorely disappointed with such limited options. Rate: 4/5 Tossed Tossed is one of the best places to eat in the Student Union. It balances health and taste with a great selection of toppings, dressings and lettuce to customize your salad or wrap with. With a meal trade, you get a full take out container of salad with up to five toppings. You can also buy the soup of the day, which you can’t find anywhere else in the Union. Personally, I can’t get enough of the baby spinach. Rate: 5/5

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Variety

The Collegian: 6

October 25, 2021

Tulsa’s first Arab Film Festival a success

Featuring a variety of movies, documentaries and short films, this inaugural event is sure to be a Tulsa tradition.

Hana Saad Student Writer

The Arab Film Festival was an intimate and cheerful affair. It was a great weekend packed with compelling films and documentaries. Tulsans have so few chances for exposure to films like these, so it was a truly unique and wonderful experience to see these works on the big screen.

After the showing of the weekend’s first film, “Souad,” people slowly trickled out of the theater, talking about the film. Some were arguing over whether or not they liked it, others were simply taking it in. “Souad” was a fitting start to the film festival. The movie is about two Egyptian sisters and the complexities that arise as they grow up in Egypt as young women, navigating the world offline and online. It is a must-see.

After the film, people gathered in small groups to enjoy the food, which was provided by Shawkat’s Mediterranean Restaurant, a local Lebanese restaurant. There was live music from Mateo Galindo which made for a pleasant soundtrack against the chatter of the post-moviegoers. In the room where the reception was being held, Circle Cinema displayed several prints from Mizna, featuring the covers of the literary journal as well as previous Arab Film Festivals’ posters.

Mizna is a film and literature organization which publishes works by Arab and Southwest Asia and North Africa (SWANA) writers and artists. Lana Barkawi, executive and artistic director of Mizna, introduced the films alongside Moheb Soliman.

Soliman, a poet and Tulsa Artist Fellow, was one of the primary people who helped

this event come to life. He used to be a program director for Mizna, and said, “landing here and encountering Circle Cinema...It just seemed really obvious that maybe we could all work together to pilot an Arab Film Fest Tulsa using [Mizna’s] experience and backlog.” Soliman notes that the Tulsa Artist Fellowship was very supportive of this project and excited to be a part of it.

The festival showcased five films and documentaries and five shorts. Along with the opening film, “200 Meters,” “Talking About Trees,” “We Are From There” and “1982” were the other feature-length films.

The shorts included “The Tomb,” “It Still Rotates,” “I Say Dust,” “Like Salt” and “Tallahawssee.’’

These contemporary films were completely produced by SWANA creatives. Films from Lebanon, Egypt, Syria, Palestine, the U.S. and Sudan were featured, which provided a strong display of the myriad of stories that SWANA filmmakers have created.

“I’m really happy with what we wound up with. I think one thing that’s a concern is that people think the Arab world is just one thing or one group but it’s made up of multiple countries and multiple ethnicities within each of those countries that go back hundreds of thousands of years. It was really at the forefront of my mind to showcase different nationalities,” Soliman explained.

Saturday featured “Sudanese Film Retrospective,” which provided insight into Sudan’s rich film history as well as the current state of cinema in Sudan today, where it is still heavily censored. Despite this, the documentary provided a hopeful ending. Sudanese cinema is still very much alive, even amidst conflict.

The film festival was made not only special by the types of films that are being shown, but also from the Q&A sessions held with the directors of the film. For “Souad,” the Q&A with the director was pre-recorded,

Tulsa’s Arab Film Festival was curated by Moheb Soliman, pictured above.

but still provided insight for the viewers. On Sunday, after the showing of Darine Hotait’s short films, she tuned in for a virtual Q&A, taking audience questions. It was a dynamic conversation. Only Circle Cinema, which is an independent theater, could provide such an unique experience.

The night ended with what the curators of the festival called an “instant classic,” “1982.” This Lebanese story is set against the backdrop of the conflict of the Lebanese Civil War and follows a young boy as he attempts to tell a girl he has a crush on her. As Soliman said, “this film is very accessible“

photo by Justin Klopfer

and a great story about Lebanon’s history that many in Oklahoma might not know.

This inaugural film festival was truly a special weekend with films that deserve to be seen and celebrated. Mainstream film and television is sorely lacking in terms of actual representation (both onscreen and behind the camera) of SWANA stories. Circle Cinema is a valuable, historic theater that provides a space for films that might not be displayed in larger theaters. There are so many wonderful movies, documentaries and shorts created by SWANA writers and directors. The Arab Film Festival is here to stay.

courtesy Circle Cinema

“Souad” provides intriguing, authentic stories “Souad,” kick-off film of Arab Film Fest, follows two sisters navigating traditional Egyptian culture and social media.

Justin Klopfer News Editor

Oct. 21 marked the start of Arab Film Fest Tulsa at Circle Cinema, beginning that Thursday and concluding on Sunday. Tulsa Artist Fellow Moheb Soliman and Mizna, an organization for Arab, Southwest Asian and North African art collaborated to curate this festival.

Thursday’s kick-off film was “Souad,” a 2021 feature directed by Ayten Amin. The

“Souad” was shown at the 2020 Cannes Film Festival.

Ayten Amin discussed “Souad” in a recorded Q&A session for the festival.

courtesy Ayten Amin

film follows the lives of two young sisters in a small city of Egypt. Souad (Bassant Ahmed), the older sister, is engaged but has online relationships with various men. She presents a reserved and traditional air to the older people she interacts with, but is confident and risqué around her peers. When alone, Souad desperately seeks validation from social media.

As the film progresses, Souad is driven to misery by her constant mask-wearing. Behind her posturing lie feelings of social and romantic inadequacy that are only exacerbated by callous treatment from the man she attempts to woo online.

Halfway through the film, the perspective switches to Rabab’s (Basmala Elghaiesh), Souab’s 13-year-old sister. Like her older sister, Rabab seeks love and validation from others, particularly men. However, as director Ayten Amin points out in her Q&A, Rabab is the only character who does not hide who she is. Rabab lusts after the same man as Souad, but interacts with him in person instead of over social media.

The sisters’ struggles transpire amid a conservative Muslim culture that viewsmany of their actions as taboo. There is a tension between the young female characters’ genuine religious beliefs and their social desperation. Their shared romantic interest, Ahmed (Hussein Ghanem), comes from a more liberal city, giving him a carefree allure.

Following this film’s showing, Circle Cinema also displayed a recorded Q&A session with director Amin. Amin stressed the importance of choosing not to set the film in Cairo. The stories of people living outside of Egypt’s largest city must also be told in cinema, though far too often they are not.

Amin included Wim Wenders, a German director, as one of her main influences for “Souad.” She gave Mahmoud Ezzat, the film’s co-writer, Wenders’ film “Alice in the Cities” as a reference point for the journey of Rabab in the city of Alexandria. Wenders

eventually became a co-producer of the film after it had been accepted by Cannes. Most of Amin’s other influences were Egyptian films, particularly neorealist directors like Mohamed Khan, who Amin worked with as an assistant.

The director also emphasized the role social media plays in the film and the themes she was trying to tell with it. The characters in “Souad” use social media to manufacture artificial lives and relationships. Souad uses her phone to live the life her traditional culture withholds from her. Ahmed, the man both sisters desire romantically, uses social media to publicly display his romantic ventures, a luxury the girls cannot afford.

Ahmed’s parents are more permissive, and the sisters’ conservative parents prioritize their purity as women. Despite his vibrant social media presence, Ahmed is still clearly unfulfilled in life. Creating social media content is Ahmed’s job, so he feels compelled to share a romanticized life for his own sake.

When beginning work on this film, Ayten Amin’s casting process was quite extensive; hundreds of people auditioned and several were observed in their daily lives over many days so that Amin could have firsthand experience of young people in smaller cities.

Amin says she was shocked to see the messages young girls received on social media.

Yet, Amin recognizes the access it gives young people, particularly within Egypt.

Even if their virtual lives are artificial, they can still create genuine human connection and experience. The smartphone is ultimately essential to depicting their lives; to show them without it would fundamentally be a lie.

The Arab Film Fest continued at Circle Cinema over the weekend, featuring films from Palestine, Jordan, Qatar and Syria.

Variety

October 25, 2021

“Reading Women” is a perfect podcast for those who love to read or want to start reading again.

Hana Saad Student Writer I’ll let you in on a secret: I haven’t listened to this podcast in quite a few months.

I think the last time I listened to an episode was sometime in the summer. Maybe the reason that I’m writing about it now is a testament to how great “Reading Women” is.

Lately, I’ve been getting back into reading and I think that’s why I’m gravitating back to this show. Hosted by three women, Sachi Argabright, Jaclyn Masters and Sumaiyya Naseem, this podcast updates weekly with episodes featuring books written by women, interviews with authors and special episodes dedicated to celebrating diversity in all its forms in popular fiction.

Each month, episodes are centered around a theme. Last month, the theme was “Incarceration.” Before that, the theme for August was “Nature Writing.” If you can’t tell, this podcast will appeal to a variety of readers,

The Collegian: 7

as they cover everything from science fiction to romance.

This month, the theme is “She Writes Crime,” which is fitting for October. In the first episode for October, Naseem discusses how crime and thriller novels reveal insights about real-world problems, such as issues of violence against women. Some of the books they discuss in the episode include “The Khan” by Saima Mir, which is an intense thriller about family and justice. Other books include “Out” by Natsuo Kirino and “The Unquiet Dead” by Ausma Zehanat Giolito, which are sure to please lovers of crime fiction.

Those who love perusing books at their local library or bookstore will adore this podcast. The hosts are well-read and wellspoken, thoroughly covering the books they talk about over the course of each episode.

Like any great podcast, this is also more than just about the material.

The show is dedicated to supporting books that have been missing from shelves of mainstream bookstores. They talk about books written by trans women, people of color and indigenous women. They cover is-

sues of social justice and mental health. This is just to name a few topics.

In a space where much of popular literature has been restricted to largely white, hetreonormative stories, it is important to support authors who come from diverse backgrounds and share their stories. Of course, diverse stories and authors have always been around and the industry is slowly changing, but “Reading Women’’ gives them a larger platform.

Beyond a weekly show, this podcast has a regular newsletter and hosts reading challenges. They also give out an award each year, the Reading Woman Award, to a notable work of fiction written by a woman.

“Reading Women” has really built a community that its listeners can actively participate in. The hosts are warm and friendly, making their listeners feel as if they are part of a book club. Reading is so much fun and it’s even better whenever you can see different stories reflected in the books that you buy or borrow.

This podcast is available on all streaming platforms.

potential superman of the Bene Gesserit, the Kwisatz Haderach. Of course, this all combines with the eventual coup that kills his father and puts Paul and his mother into exile, revealing the most intriguing part of the book: Paul, under the influence of the spice, can see into the future.

For those familiar with the book, the film ends after Paul, played by Timothée Chalamet, defeats his first real physical adversary and sets out with a group of Fremen, desert tribesmen, to a place of relative safety in Sietch Tabr. It’s disappointing to see “Dune” separated into at least two films, but the decision makes sense. Aside from the supernerds, like me, who wanted to see how Villenueve would handle the already strangely-paced text’s ending, holding off on forcing the plot to move at lightspeed and investing 150 minutes into building the characters and their relationships seems to be an excellent compromise. However, some of the characters lose out on their emotional

text while reducing her more powerful and in control aspects, although Villenueve does shift one scene where previously did most of the fighting to Jessica brutally executing two guards.

The changes serve to make her appear constantly off balance and emotional, which is, admittedly, present in the book, but book Jessica handles her emotions in a much more internal, less explosive way.

This focus on emotionality also illustrates the largest change from the text: a reliance on large gestures. The text highlights very small changes in an individual’s body— flinches, dilation of pupils, tension in muscles—which don’t translate well to film in a readily-apparent way.

Instead, character faces are open and prevalent, which would work well in a normal film, but part of the environment of Arrakis is the high cost of water, a detail the film hints at. Yet, the characters very rarely don all the equipment necessary to sustain life in the open desert. It’s a relatively minor detail, but similar details litter the film.

Hard won information gained through careful analysis by characters that lead to small, impactful revelations is calmly explained through background audio logs, reducing the mystery of the planet and the capabilities of the characters. Instead of Paul watching carefully and using inductive reasoning to impress the ecologist Dr. Kynes, the genderbent film Kynes, played by Sharon DuncanBrewster, seems to already believe in the legend of Paul as the Fremen messiah.

It’s not bad, just different, which is where most of these details fall.

The film is not lesser because it does not religiously follow the source material, but a great deal of the setup in this film makes no sense without understanding the context the book brings. However, understanding that context forces the watcher/reader to reconcile the differences between the two works.

For example, the film continuously highlights this little desert-dwelling mouse creature. Those that have read the book know this to be the type of mouse Paul takes his Fremen name from, Muad’dib, but nowhere in the movie is that explained, leaving it as this strange, cute critter that has no bearing on the plot, except in the case where the first “Dune” film would be seen in conjunction with, assumedly, the second one. It’s still an excellent, well-acted, beautiful film and these idiosyncrasies are only visible in the context of the wider scope of “Dune.” I would see it again, for sure.

Highly anticipated film “Dune” delivers

In“Dune,” director Villenueve transports viewers into the world of Arrakis providing a different, yet fantastic adaptation of the novel.

Adam Walsh Commentary Editor

This first section will be completely spoiler-free both for the film and book series. Released on Oct. 22, 2021, the most recent adaptation of Frank Herbert’s 1965 speculative fiction novel “Dune” premiered in theaters. “Dune” follows the young scion of House Atreides, a constituent noble house of the Galactic Empire, which faces down the treacherous emperor and longtime rivals House Harkonnen. Lingering in the background lies the origins of Paul’s birth and the expectations of his parents, advisors and even the indigenous population of Arrakis, as they begin to see him as the messiah prophesied by their ancient Reverend Mothers.

Denis Villenueve’s take on the work focuses heavily on the presentation of the world, taking extreme efforts to get the details of the setting right while streamlining the plot to introduce the world of “Dune” to new viewers. However, some of those efforts to guide the audience will be extremely strange to those who have a vested interest in seeing the film as a one-to-one depiction of the book. Although that sounds like disparaging criticism, Villenueve and his team do an excellent job in bringing the world of “Dune” to life, especially in how remarkably coherent and beautiful the special effects appear, with very few immersionbreaking moments of “wait, that doesn’t look quite right.” Similarly, segments of the film did drag or meander in unexpected places, especially in the middle third of the movie, which, honestly, could be intentional on the part of the creators. Overall, a supremely aesthetically pleasing experience with believable acting and a recognition of the source material while updating certain philosophical concepts to connect with a modern audience.

Spoiler discussion for both the film and book ahead!

First and foremost, Villenueve’s film is not directly an adaptation of “Dune,” Herbert’s first work in the so-called “Duniverse.” More accurately, Villenueve’s film covers the first three fifths of the first book.

For those unfamiliar with the book, Paul

The Collegian team views and reviews a movie while getting uproariously drunk.

Zach Short Managing Editor Maddie Walters Social Media & Web Manager Justin Klopfer News Editor Note: All participants in the production of this article are either of legal drinking age or did not consume alcohol. Disparity in coherent prose should make as much evident.

Atreides, played by Timothée Chalamet, is the ducal heir to House Atreides headed by his father Leto, Oscar Isaac and concubine mother Jessica, Rebecca Ferguson. The latter individual was trained by a society of women, the Bene Gesserit, who specialize in bodily control, falling into an advisory role to most of the Great Houses and seeking to breed a superhuman through careful manipulation of gene cultivation.

The film and book begins with House Atreides facing an imperial decree to leave their fief, the planet Caladan, and relocate on the desert-world Arrakis, known colloquially as Dune. Dune is the singular planet in the universe that produces a mystical substance known as spice, which is used to facilitate faster-than-light travel, as well as previously ruled by the Atreides’s archenemies, the Harkonnens. The Harkonnens enjoy a well-deserved reputation for brutality, with the old Baron, Stellan Skarsgård, guiding the young Beast Rabban, Dave Bautista,

“Dune” was released this past Friday, Oct. 22.

courtesy Legendary Entertainment

in hunting the indigenous and ferocious Fremen while forcing the population into deadly working conditions.

The main physical plot of “Dune” centers on this rivalry between Houses Atreides and Harkonnen, with the galactic emperor aiding House Harkonnen by lending them three battalions of imperial shock troops.

Politics aside, “Dune” entertains another metaphysical plot as Paul reconciles his unique upbringing as a boy trained by the all-women Bene Gesserit, a child trained in the mental computation techniques meant to convert him into a human computer, and the

development and stature with the streamlining and ending the film where it does. I personally suspect that if/when the second film is made, there will be a seamless transition between the two works; I believe the plan was always to make two films that will join together, probably in a special edition, into one much longer movie.

Some characters do lose quite a bit of their character and personality in this adaptation, and, unfortunately, the character that loses the most is Lady Jessica, concubine to Duke Leto. The film emphasizes her moments of doubt and emotional turmoil in the

Zach: Billy madison is a funny movei=.

I like it a lot. I personally redomment this movie, if o can get past the few moments that are not quite so PC. It’s a little sexits., but also, a little funny. It’s got Adam Sandler, and Steve Buscemi. I love Steve buscemi. My roommate, Jalen, does not think Val Kilmer is hawt. I disGREE. hE IS NOT IN THIS MOVIE. \ Steve Bisce,o os/ amd je S great/ Je wear ;o[stodl amd je saves the dau/ Tjos ,pvooe os fimmu des[ote mpt javomg the soviet imopm/ ;;; Iyan: Donde esta Steve Buscemi?

Eu não gosto do Val Kilmer. Eu não veria muito da película mais eu gosto do jovem Adam Sandler. A veces, pienso que Steve Buscemi cabe dentro de esta película, mais eu nao lembro un poco de comme l’acteur c’est ici dans l’argument. C’était woahhhhhhhhh…. I don’t know what happened.

Relationship between Adam Sandler and the film? Who knows. Mais eu nao gosto de pedophilia.

Madison: in all honesty, I didn’t like it.

I’ve watched this movie quite a few times, but it still hasn’t grown on me. Despite it being not so politically correct, I feel like the storyline isn’t very strong, but that’s just me.

I was honestly more entertained by Zach’s impersonations of the characters. Quite the performance! 10/10 - best part of the night!

When the man quotes from movies, he puts his entire heart into it.

Justin: A great comedy starring a great actor. People insult his ability, but there’s a certain charm he’s got that no one else has. Norm MacDonald also does a great job (RIP). A lot of the jokes didn’t age well, but I think the movie can be appreciated in spite of that. It’s incredibly stupid, of course, but that is what makes it great!

Zach: I am feeling much better. I must admit, Val Kilmer is not actually in this priceless film. However, his presence permeates throughout the entire viewing experience.

Everywhere I see his influence. From Monsieur Buscemi’s spectacular, Oscar-worthy

performance through to Norm MacDonald’s incomparable presence, the movie truly strikes a certain chord with the heart strings.

In many ways the art of a critic is I don’t remember the rest of the reference but I love this movie and I have a sneaking suspicion that no one else here tonight does.

You should watch this movie. Or maybe not. It’s good, but I’m not sure that I recommend it. I don’t think that my good buddy Kyle liked it, but he doesn’t like most of the movies that I make him watch so take that with a grain of salt. He didn’t like “The Wolf of Wall Street,” “Fight Club,” “Goodfellas,” and I know that he’s not going to like “Pulp Fiction.” Disclaimer: I am not a misogynist, I just like good movies and I understand the themes and do not relate to the JOker character. I am only slightly problematic, not like Tarantino/Musk boy problematic. I promise.

The State-Run Media

October 25, 2021

the

State-Run media Publishing more than one type of issue

Driller Update: not enough Though we have seen concessions, we must stay vigilant Zach Short Penis ain’t easy If you have watched the news this week, you will have noticed the effect my recent letter to the editor has had. At Tulsa’s own Oktoberfest celebration, the threatened snowflakes behind the scenes made an attempt at appeasement at restoring the Driller’s masculinity. This experimental take stands in a slightly altered pose but with the addition of an impressive set of abs.

At first, I felt content with this correction.

The new rendition screamed masculinity to me. Although the artist’s intent still evaded us, the broader themes seemed conveyed appropriately. In conversations with some acquaintances who have supported my leadership in this Driller debacle, the consensus seemed more or less that justice had occurred. Unfortunately, this elation would not last.

Friday, Oct. 22, at roughly 8:30 p.m., I was with some of these same people in a

meeting for the Driller society (a private club devoted to the maintenance of the statue’s integrity), when we received an anonymous tip in the form of a magazine-letter note slipped under the door. The message wasted no words: “women can have abs also.” Quickly conducting our own independent research, we ascertained this horrific allegation was true.

With no time to waste, I began to write this follow-up. What few words I had already written spoke of our victory, but this startling revelation made for the much darker tone that I employ today. Brethren, it seems that we are receiving pathetic concessions instead of the real progress we seek.

We cannot allow ourselves to grow complacent in our efforts, and we must remain vigilant in our efforts to restore the driller to his former glory. I too have suffered this exhaustion with important activism. I openly admit here that I felt ready to concede the battle with the addition of the toned abdomen muscles, but we cannot let moves like this trick us into giving up. No less than our absolute demands will suffice. The driller must get his dick back.

Glistening abs but no shining penis? Nice try, liberals, but we won’t open up for that bait.

graphic by Anna Johns

Brave professor declares Wingdings font mandatory in student essays

Professor assures students no other college professor will ever ask them to use a font other than Wingdings.

Kyle Garrison Welcome hell

to

“You know how to write an essay. I don’t know why you have to question it, no professors will ever ask you to use Times New Roman,” explained a disappointed professor, fielding questions from irritating students.

All this distinguished professor wanted was for his students to take some initiative and write an essay in the exact same format that all college professors ask for. In the syllabus he specifically told them to “just use MLA, which I definitely know.” What more could these entitled kids want? “It’s one thing for this to happen in high school, but this is a well-known private university. Is it too much to ask for the students to use 1.73 spacing without me having to spell it out for them?” continued the exasperated professor.

One student even had the nerve to ask the professor, “What font do you expect for the essay?”

The professor responded, “Wingdings, you dipshit. What else would we use for MLA? It’s just standard.”

The student—who was clearly an inexperienced and incompetent scholar—continued to express confusion: “Oh, okay I guess.

Do you want it 12-point?” To which the professor reasonably responded, “Are you a child? Real intellectuals will exclusively use 5-point font, any attempts otherwise will exclusively be interpreted as an attempt

to artificially inflate the page count and will be docked at least a full letter grade.”

This frustrated professor, who had no choice but to refer the students to the syllabus, sadly lamented, “God why do I have to explain this to them, it was all in the syllabus. I don’t want to hear all that complaining about ‘Sir, I have no idea how to read your syllabus, it’s all in Wingdings.’ Grow up! This isn’t highschool anymore.”

“Honestly, I think it is just a symptom of Gen Z’s inherent weakness,” theorized the white, male professor, who graduated eight years prior to the codification of Title IX. Back in his day, he continued, “Life wasn’t handed to you on a silver platter. You earned it fair and square by working ten hours a week during the summer and paying for college.”

One would expect that after a few semesters, students would catch on that every professor has identical expectations when it comes to essay format. The sentiment expressed by this professor—though likely a collective experience for professors everywhere—especially represents the struggles of a vitally important group of highly persecuted and underprivileged people: white male conservative professors between the ages of 60 and 80.

Our society has continued to make the lives of these beloved grandpas of McCarthyism so much more difficult than it was when they had no competition because they fired all the leftists and because women and minorities were not hired in the first place.

What do they get for their decades of service towards the noble pedagogical profession?

Nine hours a week of questions from students who won’t read the syllabus and won’t go out with them no matter how many times they ask

graphic by Kyle Garrison If you can read this, please report to the Office of Secrecy and explain how the fuck you did.

graphic by Anna Johns