Tucson Weekly, Dec. 17, 2020

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CITY WEEK: Your Mostly Virtual Local Holiday Shopping Guide

Bless the Beasts

ARTS: Drive-In and Virtual

Nutcrackers

Holidays at the Humane Society A tale of Tucson Salvage by Brian Smith

CHOW: Learn To Cook Like

a Local Chef!

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STAFF

CONTENTS CURRENTS

Hospital officials plead for heightened caution going into the holidays

4

TUCSON SALVAGE

9

A mall, a giant X-mas tree, and future lives of pets

ARTS & CULTURE

12

Even amidst a pandemic, The Nutcracker must go on

CITY WEEK

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EDITOR’S NOTE

It’s Beginning To Look a Lot Like COVID… TUCSON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM. The novel coronavirus is widespread and our local hospitals are overrun with patients.

We are experiencing the worst stage of the pandemic as we break the records set during the summer.

It’s so bad that local health officials are asking us to cancel big holiday parties for Christmas, New Year’s Eve and whatever else we might be celebrating as 2020 comes to an end. Staff reporter Nicole Ludden explains what’s going on and fills you in on the arrival of the first doses of the vaccine in this week’s edition.

Please remain home as much as possible, wear a mask when you go out among other people and stay safe.

Elsewhere in the book this week: Tucson Salvage columnist Brian Smith spends some time at the Humane Society’s Pawsh store ahead of the holidays; columnist Tom Danehy bids farewell to UA Football Coach Kevin Sumlin, who was canned after that horrific 70-7 loss to ASU over the weekend; managing editor Austin Counts finds out how some members of the biz community feel about new COVID restrictions from the City of Tucson and Pima County; The Skinny looks

at the Arizona Republican Party’s delusional efforts to overturn the election in favor of Big Loser Donald Trump; arts writer Margaret Regan steps up to tell how two local dance companies are finding ways to present a seasonal favorite, The Nutcracker; calendar editor Emily Dieckman shares a last-minute, mostly virtual, local gift guide; Cannabis 520 columnist David Abbott fills you in on what you need to know about the state’s upcoming recreational weed program; and there’s plenty more in our pages.

A final note: You’ll find two solutions to the crossword puzzle in this edition. We have last week’s solutions and this week’s solutions.

That’s because, moving forward, we’re gonna put the crossword and its answers in the same edition. Sure, it will make it easier to cheat, but you won’t have to hang onto your Tucson Weekly for seven days to find out if you got the right answer.

— Jim Nintzel Executive Editor Hear Nintz talk about the latest on the outbreak and other news at 8:30 Wednesday mornings on The Frank Show on KLPX, 91.1 FM.

RANDOM SHOTS By Rand Carlson

With COVID widespread and the holidays nearly upon us, we’re showing you safe ways to shop local

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CURRENTS

THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS Hospital Officials: Cancel Big Holiday Celebrations to Slow COVID Spread Nicole Ludden nicolel@tucsonlocalmedia.com AS COVID CASES SOAR BEYOND the records set this summer, local healthcare experts are asking Pima County residents to cancel big holiday celebrations to slow the spread of the deadly virus.

In a Dec. 11 letter warning of disastrous consequences if the spread of the novel coronavirus continues at its current rate, 26 representatives from the Pima County Health Department, local hospitals and fire districts pleaded with the public to stay home as much as possible.

“We know that’s a lot to ask this time of year, but the holidays will come again; sit this one out,” the letter reads. “Use the internet and telephones to communicate with family and friends.”

The letter was released ahead of a Pima County Health Department press conference with local hospital officials to highlight the dangers posed by the novel coronavirus. Hospitals across the county have less than 2% of their ICU beds available. On Friday, Dec. 11, area hospitals had only seven open ICU beds, Pima County Health Director Dr. Theresa Cullen shared at the press conference.

Pima County Chief Medical Officer Dr. Francisco Garcia said the county’s experiencing “very significant” numbers of deaths similar to those seen in the

July surge in cases. In terms of hospitalizations, numbers have far surpassed levels seen in the summer peak.

Judy Rich, the president and CEO of Tucson Medical Center, said on the outside, the hospital shows serene Christmas lights and often barren parking lots. The parked cars are diminishing as visitors aren’t allowed to visit their sick loved ones, and behind the glowing lights, the hospital’s staff is fighting an unprecedented number of cases while facing high levels of burnout.

“The staff are tired, and they are giving everything that they have. It is imperative that we take this seriously.

This is a serious disaster that is invisible to many,” Rich said. “But when it hits you, when it becomes personal, you’ll understand it differently. I would just ask you to project to that and take the steps that you need to to stay safe and help our community get through this.”

The Chief Medical Officer of Banner University Medicine, Dr. Gordon Carr, said although the hospitals he oversees are using all available resources to handle the influx of cases, they are also struggling.

“We are bringing in more staff and expanding our physical capacity. We are redeploying planning staff to assist in the hardest-hit areas. We are doing everything we can to provide essential medical services,” Carr said. “Unfortu-

A SHOT IN THE DARK COVID Vaccine Arriving in Pima County This Week Nicole Ludden nicolel@tucsonlocalmedia.com PIMA COUNTY IS EXPECTED TO receive 11,000 doses of Pfizer’s COVID-19 vaccine on Thursday, Dec. 17 that will go to healthcare workers and long-term care facility residents and staff, the Pima County Health Department announced at a news conference this week.

The vaccine prioritization plan includes three phases with the most highrisk individuals receiving the vaccine first, said Dr. Theresa Cullen, director of the Pima County Health Department.

Phase one of vaccine implementation is divided into three groups: 1A, 1B and 1C. Group 1A will begin receiving vaccines this week.

Group 1B, which includes teachers, law enforcement and other essential service workers, are expected to receive

nately, however, we are facing ongoing, uncontrolled spread of the virus in our community. If we are not able to slow the spread soon, the strain on the healthcare system could become too great. At this critical moment, public health interventions have never been more important.”

With a dramatic decrease in hospitals’ capacities, they’re already having to deny elective surgeries to patients and face the troubling reality of having to triage care for patients in more critical conditions.

“We are perilously close to a point where we would not be able to deliver a normal standard of care, and we would only be able to meet the most life-threatening needs under conditions of crisis,” Carr said.

The current delay of elective surgeries is causing hardships for patients who depend on them.

“A lot of time when people talk about elective surgeries, it sounds like it is a facelift or something that is purely cosmetic in nature. These are not cosmetic procedures that we’re talking about. These are life-saving procedures.

This is cardiac interventions and other types of surgeries that have real-world implications for those individuals who are having to postpone it,” Garcia said.

“I want you to understand that’s what we mean when we’re saying that we are at a breaking point. Our healthcare partners are having to make very, very tough choices.”

At TMC, Rich has firsthand experience dealing with those tough choices.

“The most difficult thing at TMC for us this past couple of weeks has been a day where we get 14 requests to transfer patients from someplace else and we have to say no, or we can only take half

of the patients that are being requested,” Rich said. “These are places that do not have the higher level of care that we have at TMC, and so they’re unable to meet the needs of somebody, for instance, who’s experiencing a lack of circulation to their foot, and needs to go to the operating room to open up the vasculature so that their foot will not suffer a loss.”

Healthcare officials are joining the health department to implore the public to practice safety mitigation tactics including mask-wearing and social distancing.

“This is really a plea from the bottom of our hearts, we need every single person in our community to please listen,” said Dr. Jenitza Serrano-Feliciano, the chief medical officer of MHC Healthcare. “In moments of great difficulty we want to be able to be sure that we can treat you. The hospitals want to be able to provide the care, but it’s impossible unless we get your help and your compliance.”

Garcia said although more stringent mitigation protocols have been placed on the county to slow the spread, it’s up to the public to adhere to them.

“The honest truth is that we are running out of the tools in our toolbox.

The honest truth is also that we are limited legally in terms of the kinds of interventions that we can and cannot do, the state and the federal government have substantially more flexibility in this space than we do,” he said. “That’s part of the reason why we are making this appeal very directly to the folks in this county, in this community, to please triple down on what they’ve been doing and continue to help us to try to mitigate this.” ■

vaccines by March, Cullen said.

Group 1C includes adults older than 65 and those with high-risk medical conditions, which contains nearly 70% of the population and is expected to receive vaccinations by “late spring, early summer,” according to Cullen.

The Pfizer vaccine is given in two doses 21 days apart. The health department said if the second dose is not received on its scheduled time, the first dose will still be valid and the recipient is still fully protected.

According to Cullen, the state is holding back the second dose for now but has ensured that those who receive the first dose will receive their second one.

However, she said this could cause “a longer time period before we complete immunization of healthcare workers.”

Tucson Medical Center and Banner University Medical Center will serve as “points of distribution,” or PODs, where the first group of healthcare workers will receive the vaccine in drive-thru sites starting Thursday, Dec. 17.

The estimated number of healthcare workers in group 1A is about 67,000, which would require 134,000 vaccines to treat the group with two doses, according to the health department’s Logistics Section Chief Spencer Graves.

CONTINUED ON PAGE 6

DEC. 17, 2020

rates drop below 100/100,000.

Restaurateurs like Jonathan Landeen, owner of Jonathan’s Cork located in the city limits, said he is pleased the council chose to allow businesses to stay open until 10 p.m.

Landeen’s dinner rush usually starts around 7 p.m. and wraps up just before the curfew goes into effect. Had the curfew started at 8 p.m., he said the consequences would be devastating not only for his business, but for all of Tucson’s restaurant community.

While he isn’t thrilled about the new restrictions, he lays the blame squarely on customers who have disregarded initial mask and social distancing regulations suggested by the state and CDC. “We’ve actually had to be like a little schoolmarm to some of our regulars and remind them to put on their mask when they go to the restroom,” Landeen said. “But everybody who wants you to succeed plays along and does what they’re supposed to do.”

COURTESY PHOTO Landeen believes local business owners— Monterey Court owner Greg Haver: “We were doing OK through early fall, but especially in the service industry—are going now people are clearly a lot more frightened about coming out no matter how above and beyond to keep their customers safe we make our venue. I’m not sure if the curfew is adding to that, but it safe while keeping their doors open. While isn’t helping.” he acknowledges the local bar community is much more greatly impacted by the city’s mandatory curfew than his and other restaurants, Landeen said he and his community are all in this together and need to help each Local Bar and Restaurant Owners Urge the Public to Wear a Mask other out. to End Further COVID Restrictions “I think the problem is all of us owners haven’t exactly done everything they can to be few start at 8 p.m., but the council ultimately

By Austin Counts smart, but it’s hard to mix alcohol and restricdecided on 10 p.m. tion,” Landeen said. “It’s hard to be the mask austin@tucsonlocalmedia.com Three days later, the county approved six police and make sure every single business is measures to combat the virus—including a trying as hard as they can to be cautious.”

BAR AND RESTAURANT OWNERS The Surly Wench on Fourth Avenue has in Tucson are speaking up about the city and mandatory mask mandate for all businesses county’s new curfew and mask mandates and and their customers. Under the new mandate, closed its doors amid coronavirus concerns businesses found in violation could face a in the area. The owners, Steph Johnston and speaking out about who they hold responsicivil infraction which carries a $500 penalty Jasmine Pierce, said while the decision to ble—the public. and could cost the business its operating voluntarily close was tough, the health and The City of Tucson voted on Dec. 2 to permit after the second offense. safety of their staff is paramount. enact a mandatory 10 p.m. to 5 a.m. curfew The county also voted 3-2 to follow the “We just felt like the rising number of through Dec. 23 with fines up to $300 in recases was closing in on us. We started to feel sponse to rapidly rising COVID rates. Mayor city’s mandatory 10 p.m. curfew on Tuesday, Dec. 15. which will stay in place until infection claustrophobic,” Pierce said. “We feel like the Regina Romero originally proposed the cur-

CURRENTS

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situation is at a point that it’s not a question of ‘if’ our staff will get COVID, but when.”

Johnston said the city’s 10 p.m. curfew, while well intentioned, was the nail in the coffin for closing down this time around. With the way case numbers are rising and hospital beds are filling up, Johnston doesn’t see any other alternative.

“At that point with the curfew, it was costing more to stay open,” Johnston said.

“Honestly, when you’re nervous to go to work because of this stuff, it’s just kind of at that point where it’s too scary right now.”

Pierce added, “We were operating as safe as we could and it still feels like COVID is closing in on us.”

The owners haven’t set a reopening date but said they’ll only do it when Fourth Avenue feels safe again. Luckily, the duo have an understanding landlord who is helping them survive the pandemic.

“We’re really playing it by ear. I would like to see case numbers start to fall again, but ultimately with hospitals at capacity and again just feeling like (coronavirus) is like one step away from us,” Pierce said. “But we’re extremely fortunate to have really amazing landlords. They’ve been flexible and willing to work with us. They don’t want to see us close our doors forever and we’re extremely grateful for them.”

Miracle Mile’s Monterey Court is also trying to pivot with the city’s new curfew restrictions. The cafe and venue hosts live music until 9 p.m. and the majority of their seating is outdoors.

Owner Greg Haver said that with the influx of coronavirus cases across the county, his business has suffered greatly.

“We were doing OK through early fall, but now people are clearly a lot more frightened about coming out no matter how safe we make our venue,” Haver said. “I’m not sure if the curfew is adding to that, but it isn’t helping.”

CONTINUED ON PAGE 21

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Graves said the hospitals’ abilities to store the Pfizer vaccine at the necessary negative 70 degrees and manage PPE made them ideal locations for the rollout of the vaccine.

“Going forward, we’re going to be starting slow . . . we want to crawl before we walk and before we run full speed,” Graves said. “We’re going to be starting slow (on Dec. 17) with TMC and Banner, and then going forward after that, we’ll increase the capacity up to full probably in three to four weeks once we know that our process is working and we can ensure as much throughput as possible, but also maintain safety.”

Those in long-term care facilities won’t have to leave and will be vaccinated onsite through a partnership with CVS and Walgreens. According to the health department’s Vaccine Preventable Disease Program Manager Crystal Rambaud, this is a separate vaccine allocation that doesn’t go through the county and will happen concurrently with the vaccinations of healthcare workers.

Although the county anticipates receiving more doses through the month, the distribution depends on federal and state government allocations.

If the Moderna COVID-19 vaccine receives proper emergency use authorization through the FDA, the county expects to receive it around Dec. 21-23, Cullen said.

“We have been told to anticipate receipt of additional vaccine, both Pfizer and Moderna, throughout the rest of this month. I would recall for people it is a holiday month, so we don’t know if that will have any implications in terms of when we get delivery. However, based on what we know will come in December, we are only looking at 1A for December and we believe that will probably extend into the March period.”

To determine who will receive the vaccine first, the health department worked with an ethics committee and the federal and state governments.

“There’s an algorithm that was developed by the CDC and then reviewed by the state that prioritizes health care workers.

So explicitly, if you are dealing directly with COVID patients, obviously, you’re a higher priority than someone that’s not taking care of COVID patients,” Cullen said.

Although healthcare workers are prioritized, the rest of the community will have access as early as the summer on a voluntary basis.

“The Pima County Health Department

recommends in the strongest terms that anyone who works in a healthcare setting or long-term care facility get the vaccine when their subcategory is ready. But getting a vaccine is voluntary,” Rambaud said. “We are confident that this vaccine is safe for most of the population. While it was developed quickly, it has been through the same safety standards and trials as other regularly administered immunizations.”

The health department acknowledged the possibility of difficulties in administering the vaccine but ensures they are ready to mitigate any threats.

“Given the complexity of the drive-thru process at a POD site, there could be many issues. There could be car accidents in the parking lots, there could be adverse reactions, there could be issues with the scheduling and the registration processing,” Graves said. “We are trying to minimize these by planning ahead and doing a safety analysis and risk analysis so we can help mitigate any of these issues coming up.”

The department also stressed the safety of the vaccine despite concerns surrounding its relatively quick authorization.

“I know there are a lot of concerns about safety due to the really rapid timeline surrounding this vaccine. What I would say to that is they did not skip any of the steps for the approval, it went through the same rigorous testing and safety trials that we see all of our other widely accepted vaccines go through,” Rambaud said.

Despite the hope the vaccine may bring as the coronavirus pandemic persists, the health department emphasized it is not the time to become complacent to important safety mitigation protocols like mask-wearing, social distancing and frequent sanitization as the county remains in a state of widespread transmission of COVID-19. “We need every resident of the county to continue to adhere to the recommendations that we have promulgated. Once again, we are in an accelerated transmission phase. Despite the fact that the vaccine will be here this week, the impact of the vaccine will take months to achieve in terms of a community-based response,” Cullen said. “Obviously, the individuals that receive the vaccine will get protection after the second shot. But in the meantime, we encourage and really plead with the community to stay committed to the activities that we know will help mitigate the transmission that we are currently seeing.” ■

DEC. 17, 2020

DANEHY

IT WAS NO SUMLIN-CHANTED EVENING: UA COACH HAD TO GO AFTER BRUTAL 70-7 LOSS TO ASU

By Tom Danehy, tucsonweekly@tucsonlocalmedia.com SOME MIGHT SAY THAT THEY knew immediately, when, in Kevin Sumlin’s first game as Arizona football coach, his Wildcats played like dookie.

Sloppy and listless, unable to take advantage of late-game opportunities, and having to deal with a suddenly mercurial quarterback who quite obviously had seen his own picture on the cover of Sports Illustrated, the Wildcats lost to a barely average visiting BYU team. (BYU would go on to lose home games that season to Utah State and—gulp!—Northern Illinois.)

The loss to BYU was bad enough—putting the Cats in a hole from which they would struggle to emerge the rest of the season—but what troubled some was Sumlin’s reaction to it. Or, more correctly, his lack thereof. Sumlin shrugged like a monk learning dinner would be crackers with no salt.

The next week, Houston smacked Arizona around like it was a bad kid at a Catholic boarding school. Again with the shrug. Suddenly, the season that had had eternally optimistic Wildcat fans

CLAYTOONZ By Clay Jones

engaging in serious debates of 8-4 vs.

9-3, looked bleak.

Arizona, bolstered by a huge upset of powerful Oregon, eventually got back to .500, standing at 5-5 with two games left.

But through it all, Shruglin stayed the same. Was he sullen or just pensive? Did he not like to talk or did he have nothing worthwhile to say? Fans hungry for a winner tend to feel that there’s a very fine line between keeping an even keel and not giving a crap.

The Cats took a 40-point whuppin’ from Washington State, but the season was still salvageable. All they had to do was beat visiting ASU in the regular-season finale and all would be good. That win would mean that they had beaten ASU, that they would go to a bowl game, and, most importantly, that they had beaten ASU. Arizona went into the fourth quarter that day with a whopping 19-point lead and then it all fell apart. Aided by a couple bad turnovers in the wrong part of the field, ASU stormed back to win, 41-40. That’s when I knew. The turnovers

were bad (and so was the missed field goal attempt at the gun that would have given the Cats the win), but it was painfully obvious that, in that fourth quarter that determined the fate of the season, Sumlin had been out-coached. Not by ASU Coach Herm Edwards; Sumlin had out-coached himself.

For three quarters, Arizona had marched up and down the field (they would gain more than 500 yards in the game), but early in the fourth quarter, Sumlin decided to take his foot off the game and try to milk the clock. You can’t say that that never works, but it damn sure doesn’t always work.

Games like that aren’t won; they’re lost.

Not everyone was convinced of the wrongness of Kevin Sumlin, but more jumped on board when the Cats lost the 2019 season opener to so-so Hawai’i. Arizona then reeled off four straight wins heading into October of 2019…AND HAVEN’T WON A GAME SINCE! The prevailing wisdom was that the havoc wrought by the novel coronavirus would serve to protect coaches from getting fired in 2020. But nothing could protect Sumlin after the Cats suffered their worst loss since Harry Truman was president. On national TV. To ASU. At home.

If there were any Sumlin holdovers heading into the ASU game, they were gone by game’s end. Let’s just say that it

TUCSONWEEKLY.COM

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wasn’t a Sumlin-chanted evening. After the 70-7 beatdown, dozens of former Wildcat players took to social media to express their outrage and disgust. UA Athletic Director Dave Heeke made the call the next day, surprising absolutely no one.

Looking back, Sumlin just never seemed right. He was too detached, too aloof, too unwilling to put himself out in the community. Plus, there’s the small of matter of his teams going 9-20.

It now falls to Heeke to make things right. If Greg Byrne’s hiring of women’s basketball coach Adia Barnes was a home run, Heeke’s hiring of Sumlin was a fumble, a missed lay-up and a strikeout, all rolled in one. Usually, when a football coach gets the boot before the end of the season, it’s in October or November. This year, we’re about 10 days away from Christmas.

Heeke is under enormous pressure, but even with the current trajectory of the program and a severely disheartened fan base, the right coach is out there. Under four different coaches (Larry Smith, Dick Tomey, Mike Stoops and Rich Rodriguez), Arizona has shown flashes of brilliance, climbing into the Top 10 in the country while challenging for conference championships and a berth in the Rose Bowl.

It’s improbable, but not impossible.

One thing’s for certain: it can’t be worse than the past three years. ■

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THE SKINNY

C’MON, MAN! The Arizona Republican Party remains stuck in the denial stage of grieving Trump’s loss Jim Nintzel jnintzel@tucsonweekly.com THE ARIZONA REPUBLICAN Party has lost its marbles following President-Elect Joe Biden’s win in the state.

Biden’s win wasn’t even that big of a surprise. Sure, Bill Clinton was the only Democrat to win Arizona since the days of Harry Truman, but Biden led narrowly in almost every poll leading up to Election Day. Donald Trump’s loss here—and in other states—is just more evidence of what a truly repellent president he was to the majority of Americans who voted.

Arizona Republican Party chair Kelli Ward—who earned the appropriate nickname “Chemtrail Kelli” from the late Sen. John McCain when she challenged him back in 2016—has been leading the charge with her lunatic updates on the presidential race via social media. This week, she informed us that the Arizona GOP has selected its own team of 11 electors for Trump. Of course, since Trump lost the state, this was akin to creating an 11-person Dungeons and Dragons roleplaying squad and getting out the 12-sided dice. (We’d put Kelli in the “chaotic evil” category.)

Then there was the 10-hour “hearing” put on by a gang of GOP lawmakers, who hosted lawyer Rudy Guiliani in a hotel ballroom because legislative leaders were not buying into this bullshit. Guiliani and his various minions unleashed an overflowing stream of disinformation.

We’ll admit we didn’t watch all 10 hours of nonsense that unfurled there, but we did catch enough highlights to notice that Guiliani suggested Arizona—

population 7 million, give or take—was home to 5 million undocumented immigrants. Wow, five out of seven Arizonans have illegally entered the country! We wouldn’t have guessed the numbers were that high.

The circus ringmaster that day was state Rep. Mark Finchem, a Republican from Oro Valley who has been on quite a Twitter tear lately. As it worked out, that marathon meeting accomplished one thing: Following Rudy’s COVID diagnosis, the Arizona Legislature closed for a week because so many unmasked lawmakers were breathing on each other throughout.

We’re not saying that the meeting with Guiliani was a super-spreader event, but we haven’t seen much of Finchem doing his Old West cosplay in public lately. The rumor mill at the Capitol is abuzz with the rumor that Finchem came down with COVID during his crusade to overturn the will of Arizona voters. (Finchem did not respond to a query from The Skinny as to whether he’d fallen victim to the virus.) But he has stayed busy on Twitter, calling the results of the election an attack by foreign powers and/or a coup by the oligarchy and/or an illegitimate win that state lawmakers can just overturn.

Oddly, all these claims are being made outside of courtrooms, because the legal efforts keep falling apart as there’s no proof of these nutty claims.

Meanwhile, Republicans who do the bare minimum of defending the state’s election system are facing all manner of blowback from their base. Activists are calling for the recall of Gov. Doug Ducey, who has become a traitor in their eyes. (And in the eyes of Trump,

TUCSON WEEKLY FILE PHOTO

Who would have thought Gov. Doug Ducey would become an enemy of the American people? who asked via Twitter this week: “Who is a worse governor, @BrianKempGA of Georgia or @DougDucey of Arizona?

These are two RINO Republicans who fought against me and the Republican Party harder than any Democrat. They allowed states that I won easily to be stolen. Never forget, vote them out of office!”)

We wonder: Do the GOP state lawmakers involved in this lunacy expect to have their bills signed by Ducey next year? Of course, that assumes there will something resembling a normal legislative session, with lawmakers rubbing elbows—and who knows what else—with staff, lobbyists and the public. Given the state of COVID in the state as 2020 draws to the close, the Arizona Legislature appears to be transforming from the pleasure palace of special interests into an inescapable death trap.

But Ducey isn’t the only Republican under fire from the pitchforks-and-torches crowd. Attorney General Mark Brnovich, who has ambitions to run for governor in two years, has been attacked

for pointing out that there’s no evidence of the massive fraud that the Kool-Aid gang is alleging. Speaker of the House Rusty Bowers—another conservative who still has a connection to the reality— had an angry mob surround his house.

We’ll see where the next few months—and years—take the Arizona GOP. You can expect this nonsense to play out in the 2022 primaries for governor, U.S. Senate, Congress and the Legislature itself.

But don’t count on Democrats to be able to capitalize on the disarray in the GOP. With Biden in the White House, Republicans are likely to gain ground in the 2022 midterms, no matter how crazy they get. And we have yet to see how the Independent Redistricting Commission will draw up the maps for Arizona’s legislative and congressional districts, but we’re guessing the members plan to do all they can to gerrymander the state to improve the GOP’s margins at the Legislature and Congress.

The state is in for a rough decade if they succeed. ■

DEC. 17, 2020

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Story & photos by Brian Smith

A mall, a giant X-Mas tree, and future lives of pets A YOUNG MOTHER GLANCES UP from her phone screen for her child, moved by some internal awareness and a too-quiet pall, and leans to scan around the kiosk of body lotions and Christmas bows and its bored, stool-perched employee, for her kid.

But the dark-haired boy is around, in his Spider-Man pandemic mask, hiding behind a giant Kusama-looking tree ornament three times his size.

The few milling shoppers here, braving the worst days of the pandemic so far, show diversity and color, they are thick and thin, holding hands or pushing a wheelchair. An up-to-the-moment barker, a kind of shopping-mall goddess, offers chocolate to lure a shopper into a jeweler.

Laughter from down in front of H&M fills empty mall square footage, the air softly scented of stale food-court French fries. A raised mural depicts a tiger and a roadrunner in matching Santa hats cavorting around a waterfall, skylight windows fill the area with the muted glow of a cloudy day, and dreamy merchandise illumination inside doors and windows seduces no one today.

The Christmas tree with its head-sized ornaments stands a story and a half high in the center of it all, a lonesome George Romero vision, a virus spell at Christmastime in the desert.

For me it is the colors and smells of weekday yearning, a nostalgia of some other life tradition, the way hometown sadnesses can paralyze an afternoon. Details wane over the years, but what stays are my skip-school bus rides to this giant aquarium, its two record stores, the counting out ones and quarters for imported punk rock, The Damned and Johnny Moped.

Its Furs Cafeteria on Christmas holidays with my Wisconsin grandparents and their tender ways, where our dutiful buddy Don Brosnan bussed the tables, the greasy chicken stink and stewed green beans

floating in yellowy slime.

Soon the boy with the Spider-Man mask reconnects with his mother, and together they hold hands and stroll through Park Place Mall. The two enter Pawsh, the Humane Society offsite center for adoptions and animal toys, once the entrance to that old Furs Cafeteria, located across from the shuttered Sears, the exact source of my Toughskins pants, now a bowling “amusement center.”

Inside Pawsh, this kid’s excitement hovers around him, kittens and puppies rush to his questioning boyhood. The mother’s face is steady in contrast, an uneasy expression detectable behind the mask.

“I want that one,” the boy says, pointing to Teela the shepherd puppy in her gated cage, who lets out a startling bark.

“These are not toys,” she insists. “They’ll poop everywhere and eat our shoes.”

“But …”

Mom adds with an emphatic, “maybe.

We’ll see for Christmas.”

Soon she pulls the now-slouching boy back out through the door and into the sunny December day.

EVERY ANIMAL I’VE EVER OWNED was a rescue, through the Humane Society, and when their lives expired it was as heartbreaking as losing a human. Every kid could use an animal, for any number of reasons, but mostly to teach one another.

This offsite Humane Society is not a shelter, it is an adoption center off its main campus on Roger Road, and it is sometimes filled with more than 100 animal heartbeats, from bunnies and gerbils to dogs and cats. It does not smell like animal feces, more like clean animal fur. Right now is a mini scene of pre-Christmas madness, at its max COVID-era customer capacity of six. There is a moon-faced teen volunteer, a part-time employee studying animal

Humane Society’s Susan Hendrickson (left) and John Steffens (right) at Park Place Mall.

behavior at UA, Jovi on the radio.

There is life here, saved life, and it is alive with optimism, and the holiday stuff in that strict binary way, happy and sad— happiness for the rescued animals and joy on faces of new owners and caretakers and the sadness in the unimaginable suffering many of these creatures have endured, and the special needs some require to survive because of that treatment.

Susan Hendrickson, an animal adoption counselor, wears a COVID mask that shows a melancholy puppy and the words, “It’s Ruff Out Here.” She lifts her chihuahua, a jittery mirthful thing with trusting eyes and three legs, and a seasonal bow on her head. The little dog was discovered left for dead along the Florence Highway, cactus thorns sticking out everywhere and saddled with a rotted leg that needed amputation. She would make your heart scud, if you have one.

Hendrickson may not know it but in these moments she absorbs the dog’s joy into her being. Her work-a-day body language shifts into a version of motherhood, a calm of love hedging against animal misfortune. Like any proud, concerned mama.

Hendrickson also has a child, and three grandchildren, now in Florida, and she misses them terribly. I watch her snap phone pics of two animal placards that when placed together spell her daughter’s name, to send off to her daughter.

She produces another phone photo to show her animal-safe, screened-off back patio. Hendrickson is a retired child daycare specialist (“I couldn’t find a decent babysitter when I had my little one, so I started my own service”). She talks of the built-in grief of bonding with newly arrived animals from the Humane Society shelter, a hasty attachment followed by a farewell CONTINUED ON PAGE 10

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Humane Society volunteer Peter Bisschop with pup at Pawsh.

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to new adoptees, and how that feeling compares similarly to childcare. She’s a queen of goodbyes.

Maybe the goodbyes explain why middle-aged Hendrickson has many dogs and animals in her 900-square-foot home. She began here as a Humane Society volunteer, got hired fulltime, and is now three and half years in. She laughs, wiping down a glass cage. “I’d be sitting on my butt getting fat, if not for the animals.”

Her husband is a long-haul trucker, gone most of the time, and yeah, she worries hard. “He doesn’t wear a mask,” the Tucson native says, “I just want to slap him.”

THE HUMANE SOCIETY OF SOUTHERN

Arizona, you’ll note, has been around since

1944. It is a non-profit that survives heavily on fundraising. Yes, beyond the sheltering of dogs and cats and home placement, there are services—from animal cruelty education to lost and found. For the last few years, the percentage rate of live animals released has been around 93 percent, meaning about nine of 10 animals that passed through the HMSA, passed through alive. Of the more than 5,000 animals taken in 2019, most were adopted (more than 3,500) and nearly 1,000 lost pets were returned to their owners. The remaining 7 percent are animals who died in the Humane Society’s care or were euthanized, that includes those whose owners were forced to put old or sick animals down.

The Human Society does not euthanize animals for time or space. Pretty miraculous, and the non-profit falls in line with its vision of a community in which “all pets

are cared for and loved.”

This location, Hendrickson estimates, was adopting out 170 animals a month, up once COVID hit, now averaging about 80, even in holiday season. COVID-era fundraising is way down for the Humane Society, and they are fighting.

Ferrying puppies to and from temporary living quarters and cages, including 3-month-old sibling shepherds, Chelsea and Teela (“they will be gone by this weekend,” they say), Hendrickson and John Steffens, the supervisor here, talk incessantly, almost indecently, of the many animals, mostly cats and dogs, they keep at home.

Nearly two dozen pets between the two of them. Talk about how lives of animals contribute to the greater good of humanity, all that.

Steffens, a glistening stud earring, a wedding band tattooed on the finger, groomed gray hair and a festive holiday T-shirt, reveals benevolent sides all day here, hardly the hard edges one might expect from a retired staff sergeant. It is difficult to imagine this Steffens guy not long ago, alongside his trusted explosives dog Abbie, was sniffing out bombs in Afghanistan.

Or policing 7,000 military men, the soldier-on-soldier incidents, tracking criminal stats, crimes against property and people, including murder.

“To say the crimes aren’t going to happen is unreasonable. I wouldn’t say you get jaded by it—more like not a whole lot surprises you.”

He shifted from that to his next job, manning a kiosk at Park Place Mall, one notch above a Walmart greeter, which led to his work here. The contrast is overarching, to be sure. He is a guy who’d take pictures on his phone of dogs they’d bring around

Adoption counselor Susan Hendrickson at Pawsh.

to this Humane Society before he worked here. He met Hendrickson, and she helped get him hired fulltime at the Humane Society.

“Sitting at mall kiosks established a community,” Steffens says. “I know a lot of people who work in the mall. I mean, I was sitting at home, bored. I was playing with my motorcycle and cars. Who doesn’t like to work on an old Volkswagen?” He laughs.

“Yes, it was a culture shock, but a planned one. The real culture shock was basic training in Kentucky.”

John Steffens, Pawsh supervisor.

He looks out over the walls and shelves crammed of sparkly animal knick-knacks, collars, toys, litter boxes, manuals, and turns inward, calls out his own stereotyping of people. “Believe it or not, being at a kiosk in the mall was exercising my brain.

I’m an observer of people. I got human interaction. I got to control and understand what my biases of people were saying to me.”

He quietly talks about how animals are non-judgmental, brings it around to cancel culture, how some may think they initiate change by being as judgmental as possible.

Animals are the sweet diffuser, extending the boundaries and life of the heart.

His own dog Bridgette settles in behind him at the small out-take desk, a lab mix born in foster care who offers up the occasional innocuous bark, but stays mostly reserved. Steffens rubs her ear as he talks.

And the bombs?

“It was a little stressful, especially when your dog starts sniffing and getting excited,” he continues. “Look, I’m out there protecting children and innocent people, and keeping my other 36 men safe.”

He minimized his bomb activity with his wife until he came back. “She didn’t really need to know something that would worry her more.”

Steffens got close to the dog he helped

DEC. 17, 2020

Genna at Pawsh.

train to snuffle explosives (“She was my buddy”). He retired and tried to adopt Abbie, and succeeded. It was a convoluted process involving the State Department. Abbie was then in Columbia, where she was assigned to some other military duty. Abbie wound up going to the widow of Steffens’ buddy who was killed in a car accident a week after completing his military service. She needed the dog more than anyone, he says.

Steffens’ elderly parents happen to arrive with a tripod lab mix in tow named Rum. The talkative dad in a starsand-stripes mask says Rum is an apt name because he is like a pirate. “Rum is the drink of pirates, and he’s missing a leg.”

A mom and her two young sons sit with Steffens to adopt a cat they chose with some consternation and much love. Steffens talks behavioral issues and vaccines with them. Peter Bisschop appears, a volunteer here, a retired elementary teacher who worked on the Navajo reservation.

Those two boys are his grandsons. It is a community here, he says, there is nothing else he would do with his spare time.

At 18 and out of high school, Steffens studied at Pima Community College while working classic Tucson gigs (eegee’s, Circle K, a van detailer at Arizona Shuttle Service). First met his wife at his Amphitheater High prom, met again five years later and married. Three kids now, the oldest is 20, and his wife is a counselor, specializing in behavior coaching.

Steffens enlisted at 23 in the army, out of boredom

(“there wasn’t a whole lot I found exciting in Tucson”), and found himself flying through the desert at 50 MPH aboard a 60-ton fright machine, the M1 Abrams, “big battle tank, big gun, loads of fun.”

He had cousins, uncles, aunts in the military. His dad served during Vietnam, shipped off at 18, arm-pit deep in nuclear ordinates.

The M1 tank was Steffens’ launchpad to the military police. The military reveals everything: “When you think you know someone seven days to Sunday, you learn what this person is really like,” he says, and shifts to the philosophical, a thing he does. “I give people the benefit of the doubt. People are inherently good. What they do beyond that is on them.”

“Well, the Humane Society,” Steffens continues, comparing his gentle, personally reward-rich world of animal service to that of the military, “it’s a lot less dangerous,” he laughs. “I think the biggest stress of this job is getting the right owner for the right animal.”

His military career spanned two decades, lived with his family in Texas, Virginia, Hawaii, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana. Spent a year in Afghanistan. He finished a criminal justice degree, which, he says, gave him new appreciation for the history of law enforcement, the good, the terrible and the horrifying. He retired grateful to have experienced other cultures. “If you don’t see more, you have a really narrow view of where you are and what you are doing.”

Steffens breaks off to chat dog outfits with Hendrickson.

Her other dog Genna, a white terrier, wears a Santa Baby vest, a harness really designed for fat cats.

TUCSONWEEKLY.COM 11

something like, ‘Why don’t you give a cat box, litter and a toy and then bring the person in to meet the animal,” Hendrickson says.

Various mall employees step out, their smiles and actions toward the dogs happy and indulgent. They offer them treats.

This little adoption center is fueled on compassion, a microcosm of some larger arena that could surely teach.

I walk out thinking of the boy in the Spider-Man mask, how the kid’s life isn’t much fun right now, and for whatever reason he stays on my mind, maybe because the external world outside the Humane Society is sick, and such thoughts are a reprieve. A boy and his dog. I hope the kid gets his puppy for Christmas, the poop can be cleaned up and it is only temporary. ■

Christmas Eve

Can of coins at Pawsh.

7:00 p.m. Live-Streamed Christmas Eve Service www.tinyURL.com/GSPVirtual Think: Midnight Mass early, with carols, musicians, and sermon.

It’s Candlelight, so have a candle ready!

Christmas Day

SOON STEFFENS AND HENDRICKSON ARE walking their dogs through Park Place Mall toward the giant Christmas tree. They walk the dogs and talk banalities of their work, and all is important when considered together: The Humane Society volunteers, how essential they are. How the animals arrive twice a week from the main shelter. How at night they leave the radio on for the animals so they can get used to the human sounds.

The inhumanities of for-profit puppy mills. How they won’t adopt animals out to be given as gifts. “I’ll say

10:00 a.m. Live-Streamed Christmas Day Service www.tinyURL.com/GSPVirtual Beautiful recorded GSP music from years past, with live sermon and prayers.

Blue Christmas Services

December 17 at 5 p.m. & December 20 at 7 p.m. https://zoom.us/j/948146775 A healing service for those who emotionally struggle through the holiday season. Have a candle nearby.

A Progressive Community

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ARTS & CULTURE

SUGAR PLUM FAIRIES DANCE Even amidst a pandemic, ‘The Nutcracker’ must go on Margaret Regan tucsonweekly@tucsonlocalmedia.com HEY, DANCE FANS, HOW ARE YOU going to get your annual Nutcracker fix in year when theaters are dark?

How about watching a Nutcracker movie in the comfort of your car at a drive-in?

Or would you prefer watching the Sugar Plum Fairy and pals on your trusty computer at home?

In this crazy COVID time, you can do either one—or both.

Megan Maltos, a tap dancer and owner of Danswest Dance Studio, is the mastermind behind the drive-in option. With a lot of help from her friends, she put together Not Your Ordinary Nut, a 45-minute movie of her studio’s young dancers performing a decidedly contemporary version of the venerable Nutcracker.

With the pandemic making it impossible

to stage the annual production in a theater, a movie version was Maltos’ only choice.

“The theaters were closed,” she says. “We had to get creative.”

Likewise, over at Ballet Tucson, artistic associate Margaret Mullin realized that the company, the city’s only professional ballet troupe, couldn’t possibly deploy its usual large cast of pros and kids on stage.

She and Clayton Frey, a film editor who, like Mullin grew up dancing in the company’s school, put their heads together to think of an alternative. They came up with Virtual Nutcracker Storytime, an online combo of footage from the company’s extensive Nutcracker archive, and a narration by actor Joseph McGrath, who reads the story aloud while dressed as the magical character Drosselmeyer.

“We have all that archival footage,” Mullin says. “And we thought it would be great to do a story time.” And Frey did the editing.

Ed Flores

As a bonus, in this last weekend before Christmas, Ballet Tucson is giving Tucson a holiday gift: a bit of live Nutcracker dancing at the St. Philip’s Plaza Farmers Market. The troupe’s marvelous Prima Ballerina Jenna Johnson will perform her acclaimed Sugar Plum Fairy solo this Sunday morning. Also on the program are holiday dances performed by the school’s advanced teens.

The innovative projects Danswest and Ballet Tucson dreamed up are bright lights in this dark art season.

For years, Tucson has been a fanatic Nut-

cracker town, with multiple dance troupes offering at least eight different productions of the beloved ballet. Every Christmas season, crowds clamor to see the enchanting ballet about the young girl who travels to the land of sweets, and along the way sees a magical growing tree, mice at war and a Snow Queen dancing under snowflakes.

First performed in 1892 in Russia, Nutcracker boasts a gorgeous Tchaikovsky score and choreography by Petipa and Ivanov.

But this year, fans can’t cram togethers with fellow Nutcracker nuts to watch beautiful dancers leaping across stages in

DEC. 17, 2020

big theaters. (Ballet, with its duets and lifts, is in no way compatible with social distancing.) Nor will they listen to live symphonies playing the time-honored music.

Most of the studios, including Tucson Regional Ballet and Dancing in the Streets, canceled their shows this year, with hopes of returning in December 2021.

Ballet Rincon arranged small private performances for the dancers’ families.

Danswest came up with the most elaborate solution. Operating some 30 years in Tucson, the studio started performing Moltos’ Not Your Ordinary Nut in 2018.

The production more or less tells the familiar Nutcracker story. But the dancing is a riot of dance genres, from tap, jazz, hiphop and, yes, ballet.

“We’re not a ‘ballet’ school,” says Maltos, the energetic director, and with so many studios staging traditional Nutcrackers, she saw no reason to create a pure ballet.

“We stepped out of the box.”

So when the coronavirus turned the world upside down, Maltos stepped out of the box again. By early summer, with the virus worsening, it was clear that the Nut show would not go on as usual this year.

Maltos was already teaching kids in

hybrid classes, with a few coming to the studio to dance while and socially distancing, and others learning alone over Zoom in their living rooms.

It occurred to her that filming a dance would be a little bit like teaching hybrid.

She could film the dancers in small separate groups, at different times, and keep them safely apart.

The movie version of Not Your Ordinary Nut was born. But Maltos still had a lot to learn.

“This was my first time in film!” she says. “I had a big learning curve.”

Luckily, Josh Harrison, whose daughter was a longtime student at Danswest, is an experienced moviemaker, and he volunteered to help.

“He’s a great teacher,” she says.

The production went at warp speed.

Auditions were in August. The chosen 60 dancers had six weeks of rehearsal to learn the pieces, all of them choreographed by local talents, including Maltos.

“We do most of usual Nutcracker dances— Spanish, Chinese, Russian, Arabic,” she says.

And when the rehearsals were finished, “we had three weekends of filming, seven days total,” she says. “Each dance took four hours for filming.”

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NUTCRACKER ALTERNATIVES Ballet Tucson Pop-Up Live Performance at St. Philip’s Farmers Market, 4280 N. Campbell Road Short shows at 11 a.m. and noon, Sunday, Dec. 20. Free Dances include the Nutcracker’s Sugar Plum Fairy.

Virtual Nutcracker Storytime, available on-line from Thursday, Dec. 17, through Thursday, Dec. 31.

Narrated by actor Joseph McGrath, the show tells the Nutcracker story through feature footage of Ballet Tucson’s past production.

Tickets, $10 to $100, must be purchased by Monday, Dec. 21. Tickets from $20 to $100 include raffle tickets for prizes. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/ballet-tucson-virtual-nutcracker-storytime-tickets-130833120385.

Danswest Dance Studio Not Your Ordinary Nut, a jazzy Nutcracker film featuring young, local dancers, screens at 9 p.m., Monday, Dec. 21.

At El Toro Flicks drive-in the parking lot at El Mercado, 131 S. Linda Ave. $40 per car. Discount tickets $20, with coupon from Tucson Local Media, code Save202020. www.tixr.com/ groups/eltoroflickstucson The dancers performed for the camera in eight locations all over town, primarily outdoors, including in the Tucson Museum of Art patio and in the posh neighborhood west of El Mercado. The basement of the Danswest studio was turned into “a candy world” for the Land of Sweets dances.

Meantime, Maltos was contacting composers who had written jazz and hip-hop versions of Tchaikovsky’s score.

When they heard that it was a project for

a kids’ dance performance, “They just let us have it for free.”

It turned out that Maltos loves filmmaking.

“I really liked the locations, the energy, the editing,” she says. Film creates “a whole other layer of choreography.”

With the camera’s ability zoom in to do closeups and bring attention to specific moves, she says. “I don’t know if I want to do it on the stage again!” ■

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Editor’s Note: With COVID-19 widespread and the holiday season up on us, City Week is looking at safe ways to shop local rather than guiding you to live, in-person events this week.

Tucson Meet Yourself Online Marketplace.

Tucson Meet Yourself might be most famous for its food, but it is also usually home to a wide array of artists and other makers—particularly Indigenous ones. The first-ever TMY online marketplace will feature artists who have been demonstrating on the pavilion for years, like Mata Ortiz potter Porfirio Mora and Congolese seamstress Charlotte Nsabaka. From Tohono O’odham pottery to Navajo beadwork, from Turkish Ebru to Yaqui Pascola masks, you’ll find tons of beautiful work to buy as holiday gifts or to treat yourself to. Shop online through Jan. 1. tucson-meet-yourself.square.site Downtown Tucson gift card. Let’s be honest: Sometimes gift cards are a convenient cop-out, for the nephew you don’t know all that well, your kids’ teacher you’ve only met over Zoom, or the coworker you don’t even really like. But when it gives the recipient the chance to support local businesses and treat themselves to something handmade, yummy or super comfy, then it’s kind of the perfect gift, actually. The gift card is good at dozens of businesses, including restaurants, boutiques, galleries and other services, and can be purchased in any denomination from $10 to $500. See downtowntucson.org/dine-andshop/gift-card to purchase and for a full list of participating businesses.

The Book Stop. Has there ever been another year where we’ve wished quite so much to go back to “a simpler time?” The Book Stop is the sort of place that gives you that warm, peaceful cocoon-y feeling, like the outside world can’t harm you while you’re moving up and down the aisles. It’s also a great place to pick up a gift. Buying someone a book you think they’ll like is such a thoughtful gesture, especially with many people working to make more time to read since we’re all home so much more often. Support this local, woman-owned business this holiday season, and enjoy the unmatched feeling of strolling through a used bookshop. bookstoptucson.com.

MSA Annex. Ah, to take a leisurely stroll through the shops at the MSA Annex, without worrying about masks or the crowds of people. It’s a far-out thing to imagine right now, we know, but we hope it will be a possibility again sometime in the near future. For now, consider making a quick stop in to one of the boutiques or stores on site. There’s the local handmade furniture at Mesa, the bikes and accessories at Transit Cycle and the cute clothes and home goods at Avenue Boutique, for starters. You should be able to check off the last few people on your list here. mercadodistrict.com.

Chicago Music Store. Do you know someone who’s used all of their stay-at-home order time to pick up a new musical instrument? Or maybe someone who’s been talking about doing so? Pick them up a gift at this family-owned store which celebrated its 100th anniversary last year! They’re running a 15% off sale on all used gear, including amps, guitars, band and orchestra instruments through Christmas Eve. We don’t care if it’s cheesy to say that the gift of music is one of the most meaningful ones you can give! chicagomusicstore.com.

Virtual Patronato’s Christmas at San Xavier. Maybe your sister is one of those people who is always going on about how “she likes experiences, not things.” Tough year for her! But if you want to treat her to something besides a material object, there are options. For example, this year, you can give the virtual gift of this beloved holiday concert to your loved ones anywhere in the world. It features performances by the local boys and girls choruses, woven together with gorgeous drone shots of the Mission interior. You’ll even get to see parts of the Mission usually closed to the public, like the choir loft, the belfry and the sacristy. It’s also a great way to support the Patronato, the nonprofit dedicated to preserving the Mission—which is a National Historic Landmark. Tickets for the live event normally start at $100, but this year you can make a donation of any amount for access to the concert. patronatosanxavier.org.

by Emily Dieckman

The Scented Leaf. Don’t you just love living in a city that has a tea house? During the summer (at least the normal summers), there’s nothing like stopping in to get one of your favorite iced teas on tap. But, if you ask me, wintertime is the best time for tea. Treat a loved one to the Scented Leaf’s Holiday Sampler, a set of loose leaf teas including apple cinnamon, chai and Earl Grey crème. Or just get them one kind of tea you know they’ll love, plus some tea filters to go along with it. If you’re really not sure, you can never go wrong with a gift card. They’re running some sweet December sales, too: 20% off your entire order, and 25% off e-gift cards! thescentedleaf.com.

Woops! Bake Shop. I’ve never been to Paris, or France at all, actually. But sometimes I forget that that’s true, because every time I’ve ever been in Woops! In Main Gate Square, I’ve felt like I’m in Paris. While now’s not the time to sit in this cozy café with your laptop and a latte, you can still drop in to pick up a drink, a yummy sandwich, a fresh croissant or (perhaps most importantly) a French macaron (or two or three or 12). An assortment of sweet, colorful macarons make a perfect gift, and they come in cute little boxes so you don’t even have to wrap them. In a year where so many people are missing travel, a treat from, or a gift card to, Woops makes for a perfect little slice of Europe. bywoops.com.

Midtown Mercantile Merchants. Looking for a one-of-a-kind gift to match this (well, hopefully) one-of-a-kind year? This beloved antique mall is a fantastic place to check out.

It’s packed to the brim with quirky vintage gifts including—but not limited to—cookware, furniture, jewelry clothing, books, sheet music, home décor, holiday decorations, comic books, clocks, vases and lighting fixtures.

Right now, they’re doing a “Merry Mid-Mod Mash-Up, featuring an extra helping of mid-century modern décor. Pick up something for even the pickiest people on your list here. midtownmm.com.

Harlow Gardens. If you haven’t hopped on the 2020 houseplant craze yet, there’s still time to do so, or to force someone else to jump on it by buying them a houseplant.

They’re just such pleasant, sweet little things to have around, whether they’re brightening up your work from home space or just giving you a reason to get out of bed because they need water. Or maybe you’re looking to start a garden, to feel like you have control over one tiny, beautiful corner of the world. Whether you’re picking up your first pothos, adding to your herb garden or planting a new tree, Harlow Gardens can meet your needs in a setting that is as full of whimsy as it is great gift ideas. harlowgardens.com.

Buffalo Exchange. When I first moved to Tucson, I was delighted to realize that Buffalo Exchange, which is now hugely popular in locations across the country, was founded right here in the Old Pueblo. But when I thought about it for a moment, I realized I absolutely shouldn’t have been surprised. Of course this sweet little desert city would be the place where sustainability and style would come together in one beautiful, bohemian building.

Pick up some clothing, jewelry or a gift card for your favorite fashionista here. buffaloexchange.com. ■

.com

DEC. 17, 2020

Rancheros and Bistec Rancheros. Isela Mejia, who owns El Sur Restaurant, makes some of the best in town.

CHOW

TASTY TUCSON

3 tablespoons olive or vegetable oil 2 cups diced white onion 3 medium tomatoes, coarsely chopped (about 1 cup) 3 Anaheim chiles, stemmed, seeded, and cut into ½ -inch pieces 1 (28-ounce) can tomato puree ¾ cup water 3 tablespoons granulated chicken-flavored bouillon, preferably Knorr brand 1 tablespoon granulated beef-flavored bouillon, preferably Knorr brand Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

Alpers’ New Recipe Book Gives a Taste of Tucson This Holiday Season

Austin Counts austin@tucsonlocalmedia.com

FOR NEARLY A DECADE, FOOD Network writer Jackie Alpers has yearned to treat the world to the Old Pueblo’s flavors with her new cookbook, Taste of Tucson: Sonoran-Style Recipes Inspired by the Rich Culture of Southern Arizona.

However, the publishing community wasn’t biting—until Tucson became designated a UNESCO City of Gastronomy, that is.

“The Food Network started assigning me articles writing about Tucson food, so I got to know different chefs and started learning from them,” Alpers said. “I had written the pitch and sent it to publishers but didn’t really get anywhere. After the UNESCO thing happened, there was a much different response.”

TUCSONWEEKLY.COM 15

Taste of Tucson features 16 of Tucson’s most creative chefs—from Suzana Davila at recently shuttered Cafe Poca Cosa to Daniel Contreras at El Guero Canelo— sharing their favorite recipes that earned this city’s UNESCO designation.

“I’m so happy that I get to give a little bit of Poca Cosa to the rest of the world and I’m just starting to realize the true impact that collecting these recipes would have because I wrote it before the pandemic,” Alpers said. “I was just documenting restaurants that I liked. I didn’t realize it would be like a tome for restaurants like Poca Cosa, where you wouldn’t be able to get that food anywhere else in the world, ever.”

Taste of Tucson is available wherever books are sold. Purchase a copy locally at Antigone Books and Why I Love Where I Live. ■

COURTESY PHOTO

Jackie Alpers

EL SUR RANCHERO SAUCE MAKES 4 CUPS Ranchero is a smooth, tomatobased sauce that is served warm and is the defining ingredient in Huevos

In a large saucepan or Dutch oven, heat the oil over medium heat. Add the onion, tomatoes, and chiles. Sauté. until the vegetables are soft, stirring frequently, 10 to 12 minutes.

Stir in the tomato puree. When it starts to boil, add ¼ cup of water and the chicken-and beef-flavored bouillon.

Reduce the heat to low and simmer for 5 minutes. If the sauce becomes too thick for your taste, add a bit of water. Add salt and pepper to taste.

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author of the initiative.

Answers to our enquiries are as follows, edited for continuity.

Medical Marijuana

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT RECREATIONAL WEED IN ARIZONA You’ve got questions? We’ve got answers!

David Abbott david@tucsonlocalmedia.com IN NOVEMBER, 60% OF ARIZONA residents of all political stripes voted in favor of legalizing, taxing and regulating recreational cannabis.

Since then, the election results have been verified—congratulations to President-Elect Joe Biden!—so it is now legal for adults over the age of 21 to possess, grow and consume the plant and its derivatives, although details of the laws regulating pot will not be complete for a few months.

Despite its new state-level legality, legal purchase of marijuana will not be available until at least March or April, when the first recreational sales licenses have been cleared by the Arizona Department of Health Services and your local medical marijuana dispensary becomes a dual licensee.

To find out what’s happening in the interim, The Weekly consulted Mike Robinette, president of Southern Arizona National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws and Roopali H. Desai, a partner at Coppersmith Brockelman, a Phoenix-based law firm that was primary

WHEN WILL IT BE LEGAL TO POSSESS CANNABIS AND CANNABIS PRODUCTS? HOW SOON WILL I BE ABLE TO PURCHASE THEM LEGALLY? Robinette: We’re in this odd transitional period where adult use marijuana is legal for everyone 21 years of age and older in Arizona, but there’s nowhere to legally buy it.

That happens in all legalized states. Right now, you can possess an ounce and you’re not going to get arrested for it.

Current medical marijuana dispensaries are going to be early applicants for so-called dual licenses. AZDHS will begin accepting early applications from Jan. 19 until March 9, 2021. After that, the rumors and the scuttlebutt say that we anticipate dispensaries and adult use sales to happen as early as April. That’s a really quick turnaround from legalization in November to adult use sales happening as early as April.

One of the major components NORML supported was the social equity licensing.

Those applications will start by June 1, the deadline for AZDHS to start accepting applications for the social equity licenses.

WILL I BE ABLE TO SMOKE IN PUBLIC? WHAT ABOUT VAPING? Desai: What’s banned is smoking in public places and open spaces. We’ve defined what that is to mean parks, sidewalks, public walkways, public pedestrian thoroughfares. Everything else is defined in the Smoke-Free Arizona Act. SFAA already bans smoking of tobacco. If you’re going to smoke a joint, you’re going to be restricted the way you already are under the SFAA. We’re not going to now say you can go light up a joint in one of those places. That’s not okay. Your front yard is not a public place so it’s not illegal to smoke in your front yard.

The SFAA doesn’t ban vaping and this doesn’t ban vaping. It’s very, very specific that smoking is the lighting with fire, there is a very specific definition of smoking, but currently in Arizona, you can vape tobacco and you can vape marijuana and it will not violate 207 and it will not violate the SFAA either.

HOW MUCH CANNABIS PRODUCT CAN I POSSESS WITHOUT A MEDICAL CERTIFICATION? SHOULD I KEEP MY MEDICAL CARD?

DEC. 17, 2020

Desai: On or about Jan. 1, 2023, and no later than Jan. 1, 2025, AZDHS shall adopt rules to permit and regulate delivery by marijuana establishments. It can’t happen earlier than 2023 and it can’t happen later than 2025. So sometime in that two-year window it’s going to happen.

Robinette: As of Monday, Nov. 30, anyone can possess up to an ounce of marijuana on his/her person or in his or her cars, or at most 5mg of concentrates. The law decriminalizes up to 2.5 oz. so from one to 2.5 oz, or up to 12.5gm of concentrate, it’s just a petty offense and you’ll get a fine. The amount of that fine has not been established yet.

HOW MUCH MARIJUANA CAN I GROW WITHOUT A CARD?

HOW CAN I GET CANNABIS BEFORE IT IS AVAILABLE FOR SALE AND IS IT LEGAL FOR SOMEONE WITH A MEDICAL CARD TO GIVE CANNABIS TO NON-CARDHOLDERS? Desai: You cannot sell marijuana to anybody. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a cardholder or not. Under the law, as long as you’re not selling it, you can go buy marijuana at a dispensary and then you can say to your friend, “Here, I’m going to give it to you. I’m not selling it to you. I know you’re 21 years of age. I’m gifting this to you,” and that would be perfectly legal because you’re not selling it and I am legally able to possess it.

WHAT KIND OF PRODUCT WILL BE AVAILABLE IN A RECREATIONAL CANNABIS DISPENSARY?

TUCSONWEEKLY.COM 17

COURTESY PHOTOS

Roopali H. Desai and Mike Robinette

Robinette: Edibles will be limited to 100mg per pack and 10mg per serving.

That doesn’t mean you’re limited in buying, you’ll just have to buy multiple packs of 100mg versus one big one.

There is no marketing to children and packaging is restricted. You can’t make a package of Mickey Mouse gummies.

Businesses are restricted from using images that would market to kids. The packaging has to be such that it doesn’t appeal to kids.

WILL DELIVERY OF RECREATIONAL MARIJUANA PRODUCTS BE ALLOWED?

Robinette: If you own your place or have permission to grow, one individual aged 21 and up can legally grow up to six plants and keep the harvest in the house. If you have two or more people over 21 in your home, you can grow up to 12 plants and keep the harvest.

If you’re renting an apartment, you can’t grow without the knowledge of your landlord. Landlords still have a right to say what you can and cannot do on their property.

Don’t post pictures on social media of 38 plants. Keep it legitimate. Keep what you’re doing low-key and don’t advertise. We fear that law enforcement, if somebody tips somebody off, it could give them reasonable cause to search and we don’t want to go down that path.

CONTINUED ON PAGE 18

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WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW CONTINUED FROM PAGE 17

CAN POLICE STILL ARREST ME FOR DUI IF I DRIVE AFTER I INGEST CANNABIS? Robinette: The presence of metabolites in your system is no longer cause for a DUI. You must be proven impaired to the slightest degree. What that means is they can’t just draw your blood and say, “Look, inactive metabolites meaning that at some point in the past two weeks you quite possibly smoked a joint and you’re impaired driving.” They have to prove you are impaired, and that generally requires a DRE or drug recognition expert who will then do the field sobriety test to demonstrate your impairment, as well as observations of weaving or other things.

The opposition to 207 kept saying, “This is rewriting DUI laws,” and that was one of their major complaints, that this would create highway mayhem. It doesn’t.

When we use the words “DUI protection,” it doesn’t mean that we’re saying we want to protect impaired driving. We don’t support impaired driving. But it stands in the face of legalization if we were to say, “Hey, here’s something you can consume freely and legally, but you can’t really drive, because if we decide to draw your blood you’re a DUI.” Additionally, the smell of burnt marijuana does not constitute a reasonable articulable suspicion of a crime. That goes a long way in preventing the roadside stops that devolve into worse things over the possibility of the scent of marijuana. That does not

apply if an officer is investigating a possible DUI. Other than that, the smell of marijuana or burnt, raw marijuana does not constitute a reasonable suspicion to force a search.

CAN YOU TRANSPORT WEED ACROSS STATE LINES OR ON AIRPLANES? Desai: Nothing in Arizona law trumps federal law. People in Arizona are at risk for being federally prosecuted. It’s illegal federally, it’s just that the feds have said they are not enforcing federal law because all these states have decided legalization on their own turf. Any interstate travel or interstate commerce is illegal even if you can legally possess it in Arizona: Cross a border or get on an airplane and you’re in the jurisdiction of the feds, and you’re not going to be able to point at the Arizona law and say, “Hey, it has to be protected.”

WHAT DOES EXPUNGEMENT MEAN? WHEN DOES IT START? Robinette: Expungement will start on July 12, 2021. According to the Department of Public Safety, as of June 2020, there are 192,000 people with charges that can be expunged. It’s not that you’ve been pardoned, it means that record is eliminated and sealed so it no longer follows you in your life: It’s gone. Any conviction that has been decriminalized or made legal can be expunged. If you have a charge or a conviction that goes to 2.5oz or up to 12.5gms of concentrate, or if you have a charge of growing six plants or fewer for personal consumption, that could be expunged.

You’re not just thrown to the wolves: 207 has a funding stream to assist people with

DEC. 17, 2020

their expungements. There will be assistance and a mechanism for funding it.

WHERE DO THE TAX DOLLARS GO? WHY IS THERE NO MONEY GOING TO K-12 EDUCATION? Desai: The largest chunk of money, 33%, goes to community college districts and provisional community college districts.

That’s because every single year the number one education cut occurs at the community college level. The community college systems in Arizona are gigantic.

That’s because it gives kids who don’t have the opportunity to go straight to the university the opportunity to start there, get a degree and then go on. A lot of the programs at community colleges are workforce development—technology, engineering, job training, career and technical training programs—so they provide lots and lots and lots of people who are middle class to lower socioeconomic class folks an opportunity for higher education, because four-year universities are out of reach for them in this day and age.

We wanted to restore funding to community colleges because those schools suffer every year because ASU is down there lobbying for the huge bucks, but who’s there lobbying for Pima Community College and that community college system?

Of that 33% of the overall pie, 15% is divided equally between each community college in the district and then there are additional funds that are given to provisional community college districts based on the population. So it’s not just going to go to the Pima County community colleges and the Maricopa County community colleges.

It’s going to go all the way to Mojave County and to Gila County: it’s going to go to all the statewide community college systems based on populations and enrollment.

The K-12 education people told us they didn’t need it because they were running their own initiative, Prop 208. It wasn’t like we decided we were not going to give money to K-12. There are two reasons we didn’t give money to K-12. One is they said, “Don’t give us money because we are working on our own initiative.” They didn’t want people to say, “why do we need to vote for the tax increase on rich people to pay for education when you’re getting money over here from marijuana?” They did not want us to ruin their initiative and their campaign to try to get taxation to pay for public education.

The second reason is there’s not enough money here to fund K-12 public education.

If you committed every cent from mari-

juana sales to education, that would be on its best day $300 million annually. If you look at what Invest in Ed did, you’re talking about revenue of $900 million to $1 billion.

Experts in public education say you need $1 billion to fix our public education funding crisis.

So throwing $300 million at it would not have solved the problem and it would have sucked up every penny from this initiative and we wouldn’t have been able to do other really important things like expungement and social equity and social justice projects.

It wouldn’t have fixed the problem.

That’s what happened in Colorado: They passed marijuana legalization under this whole guise of funding public education and it was a huge devastation to the state.

When they did it, they used it as a ploy to get people to vote for it and realized there wasn’t enough money to actually fund public education. Then people were really upset about it. We were not just going to trick people into passing this for public education because it doesn’t make a difference; it doesn’t make a dent in the problem.

The next tranche, 31% goes to public safety. That’s not just police, that’s fire departments, fire districts, any of the first responders. You hear stories about older people who decide they’re going to smoke weed and then they take too much or eat an edible they shouldn’t have, and they’re freaking out so they call the ambulance.

There’s actually an uptick in first responder calls when there’s legalization, so we wanted to make sure those folks had sufficient funding to respond. That’s police departments, fire departments, fire districts, sheriff’s departments, tribal police departments, etc and any other public safety entity.

Then 25% is going to the Arizona Highway User Revenue Fund. We have major infrastructure problems in Arizona and those funds always get cut. This is unrelated to marijuana; it’s just what needs money in Arizona.

The final 10% goes to the justice reinvestment fund. It’s a lot of money that will go to restoring communities that have been ravished by and disproportionately impacted by marijuana arrests and criminalization.

We’ll help provide public health services, counseling, job training, all sorts of things for communities that have long-suffered because of our drug policies.

People were annoyed that there was money going to law enforcement, but a huge criticism of this law was that we’re creating opportunities for crime or public safety issues. We have to address that and can’t ignore it.

WILL AZDHS OVERSEE THE STATE’S RECREATIONAL PROGRAM ALONG WITH THE MEDICAL PROGRAM? WHAT IS THE MEANING OF “SUCCESSOR AGENCY” REFERRED TO IN THE TEXT OF PROP 207?

Desai: AZDHS is taking over the recreational program because of its experience with the medical program.

Those programs are going to work very closely with one another, so we thought it would be terrible if you have a completely different agency overseeing one and the other. There’s really no way for

TUCSONWEEKLY.COM 19

that consolidation, for those agencies to work together.

There was a discussion a couple of years ago in the governor’s office about collapsing the DHS into the Department of Economic Security and consolidating agencies. If DHS does not exist as DHS because the governor changes the name of the agency or consolidates it with another agency or it becomes something else, it will continue to be the agency that oversees health services in Arizona.

DHS cannot try to push off its obligations to some other newly formed board such as an alcohol or liquor board.■

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DEC. 17, 2020

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

By Rob Brezsny. Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s EXPANDED WEEKLY HOROSCOPE 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700 $1.99 per minute. 18 and over. Touchtone phone required.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Temporary gods are deities who come alive and become available for particular functions, and are not otherwise necessary or called upon. For instance, in ancient Greece, the god Myiagros showed up when humans made sacrifices to the goddess Athena. His task was to shoo away flies. I encourage you to invent or invoke such a spirit for the work you have ahead of you.

And what’s that work? 1. To translate your recent discoveries into practical plans. 2. To channel your new-found freedom into strategies that will ensure freedom will last. 3. To infuse the details of daily life with the big visions you’ve harvested recently.

What will you name your temporary god?

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Author Virginia Woolf said that we don’t wholly experience the unique feelings that arise in any particular moment. They take a while to completely settle in, unfold, and expand. From her perspective, then, we rarely “have complete emotions about the present, only about the past.” With that as your starting point, Taurus, I invite you to take a journey through the last 11 months and thoroughly evolve all the emotions that weren’t entirely ripe when they originally appeared. Now is an excellent time to deepen your experience of what has already happened; to fully bloom the seeds that have been planted.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “Wonder is a bulky emotion,” writes author Diane Ackerman. “When you let it fill your heart and mind, there isn’t room for anxiety, distress, or anything else.” I’d love for you to use her observation as a prescription in 2021, Gemini. According to my understanding of the coming year’s astrological portents, you will have more natural access to wonder and amazement and awe than you’ve had in a long time. And it would make me happy to see you rouse those primal emotions with vigor—so much so that you drive away at least some of the flabby emotions

like anxiety, which are often more neurotic than real.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): I’ll use the words of Cancerian painter Frida Kahlo to tell you the kind of intimate ally you deserve. If for some inexplicable reason you have not enjoyed a relationship like this before now, I urge you to make 2021 the year that you finally do. And if you HAVE indeed been lucky in this regard, I bet you’ll be even luckier in 2021. Here’s Frida: “You deserve a lover who wants you disheveled . . . who makes you feel safe . . . who wants to dance with you . . . who never gets tired of studying your expressions . . . who listens when you sing, who supports you when you feel shame and respects your freedom . . . who takes away the lies and brings you hope.”

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In 2019, singer Ariana Grande got Japanese characters tattooed on her palm. She believed them to be a translation of the English phrase “7 Rings,” which was the title of a song she had released. But knowledgeable observers later informed her that the tattoo’s real meaning was “small charcoal grill.” She arranged to have alterations made, but the new version was worse: “Japanese barbecue grill finger.” I offer you this story for two reasons, Leo. First, I applaud the creativity and innovative spirit that have been flowing through you. Second, I want to make sure that you keep them on the right track—that they continue to express what you want them to express. With proper planning and discernment, they will.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): While sleeping, most of us have over a thousand dreams every year. Many are hard to remember and not worth remembering.

But a beloved few can be life-changers. They have the potential to trigger epiphanies that transform our destinies for the better. In my astrological opinion, you are now in a phase when such dreams

SAVAGE LOVE GAY DREAM BELIEVER

By Dan Savage, mail@savagelove.net

I’m wondering if you can help me with some dream interpretation. If it helps for context, I’m a single 29-year-old gay man.

For just about as long as I can remember, I’ve been having mildly unsatisfying sex dreams in that the dreams never seem to lead to sex itself. My dream partners range from people I work with to people from high school to celebrities I’ll never get the chance to meet. I never dream about someone I wouldn’t want to sleep with in the waking world, given the opportunity. The scenarios are generally different as well. Sometimes the sexual tension is palpable but we’re in a crowded room. Sometimes we get close enough to get started but the setting is off.

Sometimes we start to get hot and heavy but the dream ends just prior to the sex. In each case I wake up frustrated and masturbate to finish the fantasy. I’ve been pretty sexually starved during the pandemic, Dan, so you can imagine my frustration when I woke up this morning having almost had dream sex with Andrew Rannells. Can you think of why this might be happening? Any advice would be appreciated!

—Distancing Real Earnestly And Missing Erotic Romps “Well this is certainly VERY interesting,” said actor, singer, and author Andrew Rannells. “I’m honored I made the list of people

are more likely than usual. That’s why I invite you to keep a recorder or a pen and notebook by your bed so as to capture them. For inspiration, read this testimony from Jasper Johns, whom some call America’s “foremost living artist”: “One night I dreamed that I painted a large American flag, and the next morning I got up and I went out and bought the materials to begin it.” Painting flags ultimately became one of Johns’ specialties.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I composed a prayer that’s in alignment with your current astrological omens.

If it feels right, say it daily for the next ten days.

Here it is: “Dear Higher Self, Guardian Angel, and Future Me: Please show me how to find or create the key to the part of my own heart that’s locked up. Reveal the secret to dissolving any inhibitions that interfere with my ability to feel all I need to feel. Make it possible for me to get brilliant insights into truths that will enable me to lift my intimate alliances to the next level.”

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Author Herman Hesse observed, “Whoever wants music instead of noise, joy instead of pleasure, soul instead of gold, creative work instead of business, passion instead of foolery, finds no home in this trivial world.” I hope you will prove him wrong in 2021, Scorpio.

According to my reading of astrological omens, the rhythms of life will be in alignment with yours if you do indeed make bold attempts to favor music over noise, joy over pleasure, soul over gold, creative work over business, passion over foolery.

Moreover, I think this will be your perfect formula for success—a strategy that will guarantee you’ll feel at home in the world more than ever before.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): According to researcher Nick Watts and his documentary film The Human Footprint, the average person speaks more than 13 million words in a lifetime, or about 4,300 per day. But I suspect and hope that your output will increase in 2021. I think you’ll have more to say than usual—more truths to articulate, more observations to express, more experiences to describe. So please raise your daily quota of self-expression to account for your expanded capacity to

DREAMER would actually have sex with in real life, if given the chance.”

Seeing as this two-time Tony-Award nominee is taken—Rannells fell in love with Tuc Watkins, one of his co-stars in Boys In the Band on Broadway, and the two men now live together in Los Angeles—there’s not much chance of something happening between an anonymous “Savage Love” reader, DREAMER, and Rannells, one of the stars of The Prom on Netflix. But Rannells was more than happy to do a little amateur dream interpretation for a fan.

“As for the root of this issue,” said Rannells, “I suppose it could have something to do with not having the confidence of actually following through with the full act?

Maybe while awake he could experiment with fantasizing about a more complete experience and see if that changes his dream life?”

share your intelligence with the world.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “Our thinking should have a vigorous fragrance, like a wheat field on a summer’s night,” wrote philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. I encourage you to adopt that joyful mandate as your own. It’s a perfect time to throw out stale opinions and moldy ideas as you make room for an aromatic array of fresh, spicy notions.

To add to your bliss, get rid of musty old feelings and decaying dreams and stinky judgments. That brave cleansing will make room for the arrival of crisp insights that smell really good.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Have you heard the term “catastrophize”? It refers to when people experience a small setback or minor problem but interpret it as being a major misfortune. It’s very important that you not engage in catastrophizing during the coming weeks. I urge you to prevent your imagination from jumping to awful conclusions that aren’t warranted. Use deep breathing and logical thinking to coax yourself into responding calmly. Bonus tip: In my view, the small “setback” you experience could lead to an unexpected opportunity—especially if you resist the temptation to catastrophize.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): My Buddhist friend Marcia says the ultimate goal of her meditation practice is to know that the material world is an illusion and that there is no such thing “I” or “you,” no past or future. There is only the quality-less ground of being. My Sufi friend Roanne, on the other hand, is a devotee of the poet Rumi. The ultimate goal of her meditation practice is to be in intimate contact, in tender loving communion, with the Divine Friend, the personal face of the Cosmic Intelligence. Given your astrological omens, Pisces, I’d say you’re in a prime position to experience the raw truth of both Marcia’s and Roanne’s ideals. The coming days could bring you amazing spiritual breakthroughs! ■ Homework: Carry out an act of love that’s unique in your history. Testify at FreeWillAstrology.com.

My two cents: perhaps these dreams are lingering evidence of some shame about your same-sex desires—which is why your dream universes conspire to prevent you from having gay sex—or perhaps the continued existence of bigots who would prevent gay men from having sex preys on your subconscious mind and manifests in the form of these frustrating/frustration dreams. Or maybe there’s no way of knowing what the hell is going on here and trying to attach meaning to something as random as a dream is a waste of time or a scam or both.

The real takeaway here, DREAMER, is that you now have Rannells’ permission to masturbate about him whenever you like— or at least that’s how I would interpret his encouragement to fantasize about “more complete” experiences with the men who populate your dreams, Rannells included.

DEC. 17, 2020

You didn’t need his permission to masturbate about him, of course, and as a general rule we shouldn’t need to ask the people we want to jack off about for their OK. But Rannells basically offered, DREAMER, so have at.

“Ultimately, we can’t control our dreams,” added Rannells. “For instance I have a recurring stress dream where I am supposed to be driving Jessica Lange somewhere and I can’t get the GPS to work. What does it mean? We’ll never know.”

Follow Andrew Rannells on Instagram @ AndrewRannells.

After years of receiving oral sex from girlfriends who were careful to never inflict any sort of pain on my testicles, I met a woman who wasn’t so careful. For our fifth date, she came back to my place and we watched a movie. After the movie we began to kiss and soon she was making love to my stiff penis with her mouth while rather roughly massaging my testicles. However this came to be, I was liking it quite a bit. The more pressure she applied to my testicles, the harder my penis became. This has never happened to me in my 33 years of lovemaking! I actually asked her to squeeze my testicles harder and harder and I can honestly say my penis was harder than it has ever been. Against my better judgment,

COVID CURFEW

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 5

Haver said he’s worried the situation could get worse and trigger another mass shutdown of businesses. Should that happen, Haver isn’t sure Monterey Court will survive without further financial assistance from the city, state or federal government.

“I think the county and city are doing all they can, but it’s never going to be enough to replace the 40% of business we’ve lost since this started,” Haver said. “Unfortunately, we’ve already been shut down for long enough that we don’t have a lot of extra funds to be able to keep it afloat.”

The Tucson Metro Chamber of Commerce is also urging business owners to follow the county’s mask mandate to avoid further restrictions with a new Masks Mean Business and So Do We initiative. CEO Amber Smith while the metro chamber doesn’t support the city’s 10 p.m. curfew, she also doesn’t believe they are intentionally targeting the hospitality industry. However, the new restriction has had an “indirect impact” on bars and restaurants, which could get much worse if the business community doesn’t act, she said.

“I don’t think it was their intention, but I

I asked her to squeeze my testicles as hard as she could. After several seconds of the most intense pressure she could provide, I had the most powerful orgasm I have ever had. All of a sudden, I was dizzy and my vision went black. When I finally came back to reality, there was an extraordinary amount of come all over the place. She has made love to my penis dozens of times since in the same manner. My question: Will there be any physical complications to my newly discovered taste for this kind of play? I look forward to your response!

—This Exquisitely Sensuous Torment Enhances Sex

there’s no way to eliminate the risk of a physical complication that lands your sack in the emergency room and ER nurses and doctors have enough on their plates right now. So maybe give your balls a break until after the pandemic is over and then go nuts.

Ball busting—the kink you stumbled on—is inherently risky, TESTES, in that you could actually rupture, aka “bust,” one or both of your balls. Hence the name. But considering how much pleasure you’re deriving from this and considering how short life is and considering how long you’ve been sexually active and considering how little use you’re gonna get out of your balls once you’re dead, TESTES, I don’t see any reason why you should deprive yourself—at this stage—of this newly discovered sexual pleasure. Well, actually… I can see one reason why you might want to knock this off: when it comes to ball busting, TESTES,

I’m writing in response to WHY, the Italian fellow whose partner has a significantly lower libido than he does. I would like to share my perspective. I have a high libido and my partner of more than 20 years has a low libido. From the perspective of the person with the lower libido, there’s no problem to address. The person with the lower libido gets to have sex whenever they want. When they don’t want sex, it doesn’t happen. If WHY wants to engage his partner in a conversation about this he has to make it clear this is a make-or-break situation. Use very specific language like, “If we can’t talk about this, I’m leaving,” or, “If we don’t go to counseling, I can’t stay in this relationship.”

In my case, I did not communicate how important the issue was and my partner did not think we needed to talk about it because it wasn’t a problem for her and she didn’t know—because I didn’t tell her—how much of a problem it was for me. Eventually I acted out and had a random hookup. We wound up in counseling, which got us talking, but

certainly think restaurants have been unfairly highlighted as a source of COVID,” Smith said. “Having that curfew is challenging because these restaurants need customers to stay open and most of their revenue comes in between 6 p.m. and 10 p.m.”

The City of Tucson announced they’ve allocated an additional $3 million in CARES Act funding to city business owners affected by the curfew and latest restrictions through the We Are One [Somos Uno] Resiliency Fund Small Business Continuity Grant. The grant is being administered by the YWCA Southern Arizona and business owners are encouraged to apply online at ywca.org.

“We were doing OK through early fall, but now people are clearly a lot more frightened about coming out no matter how safe we make our venue,” Haver said. “I’m not sure if the curfew is adding to that, but it isn’t helping.”

Haver said he’s worried the situation could get worse and trigger another mass shutdown of businesses. Should that happen, Haver isn’t sure Monterey Court will survive without further financial assistance from the city, state or federal government.

“I think the county and city are doing all they can, but it’s never going to be enough

to replace the 40% of business we’ve lost since this started,” Haver said. “Unfortunately, we’ve already been shut down for long enough that we don’t have a lot of extra funds to be able to keep it afloat.”

The Tucson Metro Chamber of Commerce is also urging business owners to follow the county’s mask mandate to avoid further restrictions with a new Masks Mean Business and So Do We initiative. CEO Amber Smith while the metro chamber doesn’t support the city’s 10 p.m. curfew, she also doesn’t believe they are intentionally targeting the hospitality industry. However, the new restriction has had an “indirect impact” on bars and restaurants, which could get much worse if the business community doesn’t act, she said.

“I don’t think it was their intention, but I certainly think restaurants have been unfairly highlighted as a source of COVID,” Smith said. “Having that curfew is challenging because these restaurants need customers to stay open and most of their revenue comes in between 6 p.m. and 10 p.m.”

The City of Tucson announced they’ve allocated an additional $3 million in CARES Act funding to city business owners affected by the curfew and latest restrictions through the We Are One [Somos Uno] Resiliency

TUCSONWEEKLY.COM 21

nothing changed the fact that we have very different libidos. More than likely I am moving out when our youngest son goes to college. If I had to do it over again I would have let my partner know exactly how important it is to me that we have a healthy, robust sexual relationship. Having a difficult conversation is better than acting out in a way that puts everyone’s health at risk and damages trust. I have no idea if that would have changed things between us, but I would feel a whole lot better about how things went down.

—One Man’s Opinion Thank you for sharing, OMO, and here’s hoping you get a chance to “do it over again.” With a new partner, if you wind up leaving your partner, or with the partner you have now, if you stay. There’s nothing you can say to change your partner’s libido, OMO, but if you keep talking you may be able to work out a compromise or an accommodation that takes the pressure off her (to round her libido up) and off you (to round yours down). Good luck. ■ mail@savagelove.net Follow Dan on Twitter @FakeDanSavage.

On the Lovecast, learn all about your pelvic floor with Dr. Rachel Gelman. savagelovecast.com Fund Small Business Continuity Grant. The grant is being administered by the YWCA Southern Arizona and business owners are encouraged to apply online at ywca.org. ■

Ed note: Beginning this week, The Weekly will publish the current week’s crossword puzzle solution so our readers do not have to hang on to the previous edition in order to consummate their crossword puzzle fix. Last week’s solution grid is in its usual place on the next page, so in the future, look for current answers in the usual place.

This Week’s Crossword Answers L I A M

A C A I

M O S S

S T A F F

K A R O L

A S T R O

R A R E

A B E L

N O V A

A M N A K Y L H E A S N L T A H A I S A T P A T S N O E D O S R T U E N D

O M A R

S I R D U L K Y E N D A O U N D I B B A L D E

T S K

D E R I M L N A U U L T I I T B S E T C C A K M P O O R N A I B S

P L U G S A W A Y C L O V E

L I M O

U D O N

S E R E

T A N D Y

E D D I E

R E S E T

I T I S

T B S P

E B A Y

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Comics

LAst Week’s Crossword Answers A L A S

P O L O

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E D E N

P U L L A P A R T

T V C A M W

# S A W H O E # R I S T R M A D

S G E M

A S H I E R

R E I N

G A N G S A T G A H A S O S O P P A W A Y H T S E T E N

O M G S N M U E B S H T T I O R P E S M O O M B E

NETWORK ADS

D O B E U N A P T A V I D

W E L L S H L O O K E I N G # W G I N W I N G T # O G G I N G E M O O T I S U N I T Y S E N V A G E S E M E N T T A Y E S R A W

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ACROSS

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Spiritual leader

5 ___ of all

9 It’s not C-worthy

App image Parts of some circles, in France 16 Say nothin’, say?

17 Shelley ode that begins “Hail to thee, blithe spirit!”

19 Scuttlebutt 20 Like the Beatles lyric “The girl with colitis goes by” for “The girl with kaleidoscope eyes” 21 “See ya!”

22 “___ at Home” (one of three special TV shows of 2020) 23 Forearm bones 25 Genre for the group Sublime 28 “Bye for now” 33 ___ Alexander, historical mystery novelist 35 “The wild man of the snows” 14

36 Use hip boots, maybe 37

along the outside of the leg, informally 41 Certain snow construction 42 Smartphone precursors, for short 44 Vocalist Gorme 45 Gently leaves shore 48 Even so 49 Ad infinitum 50 Dog show org.

52 Unknown people, slangily 55 Unmannerly 60 Cancel, as a mission 61 Famous question first asked around 1600 62 Vaudeville offering 63 Jai ___ 64 Stamp collector?

65 Serengeti sighting 66 Eugene V. ___, early American Socialist leader 67 Megan Rapinoe won one in 2018

DOWN

Youngest of the Hemsworth brothers 2 Fruit whose name is pronounced in three syllables 3 Terrarium growth 4 Key symbols 5 Peace Nobelist Yousafzai 6 Minnesota congresswoman Ilhan 7 #1 Stevie Wonder hit that honors a music legend 8 Sound of reproof 1

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9 Skinny?

Doesn’t give up on a hard task 11 Wedding rental 12 Thick soup noodle 13 Exceedingly dry 18 Busybodies 21 Native of the Land of the Midnight Sun 24 Many a troubadour 25 Noted lines?

26 Pope John Paul II’s first name 27 “The Jetsons” dog 29 President between John and Richard 30 Jessica who was the original Blanche DuBois on Broadway 31 Comic Murphy 32 Stopwatch button 34 Baseball strategy that starts with a stolen base attempt 10

38 Alcoves that may have

shrines

40 Call

43 Last-second play

change

46 Honked

Cropped trousers 51 Dried flower bud used as a spice 52 “Still mooing” 53 The brother in “Am I my brother’s keeper?”

54 Sighting in a telescope 56 City near Canyonlands and Arches National Parks 57 Words on either side of “___ what ___” 58 One of 256 in a gal.

59 Site of some sniping 61 Past the expiration date, say 47

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